#I’m at work and I have to pee so fucking bad but this baby never stays asleep when. I put her down 😭😭😭😭

[sickgraymeat]

I love how two of the best lines in all of AT (“Finn this is literally serious” and “see this is a good example of why I want to kill you”) are in the same episode

[loveswrites]

volturi x pregnant reader 🤭 (i have bad baby fever rn😪)

Love Us? Poly Volturi X Reader

Word count: 1509

Time it took: 3 hours

To anon~ I hope you like this one! Let me know if you guys like it! I know you will. Love <3

Volturi X Pregnant Reader

“How the fuck could this happen?” You yelled looking down at the pee filled plastic piece of fate in your hand. A test. A pregnancy test of all the tests in the world, this is the one you passed?

“They’re vampires. I thought none of that could work?” You questioned yourself looking in the mirror. 

“Oh my god.. I don’t even know whose it is.” Your eyes widen in shock.

You never thought that you would be the kinda girl to have this problem. Taking a second to think you realized there was no way for you to be able to tell whose baby it was. Out of all the nights for you to pass this test, meanwhile the last time you were intimate with your love's you were being passed around like a blunt. 

“I can’t.. I can’t do this.” You whispered to yourself as you shook your head.

“Wait, I have to push this thing out? Oh hell no.” You started panicking.

 You had always been frightened of the process of birth. The pain, the restless nights, the fact that a living thing was growing inside of you. You never asked to be a garden.

“You think I can, you know.. Get rid of.. You know.. It?” You asked yourself outloud slowly. Holding eye contact with nothing and no one but yourself you still never gave an answer.

“Nahh it must be a mistake. It’s lying, these things are wrong all the time.” You laughed, feeling your shoulders relax immediately. You tossed the test in the bin next to the sink and started leaving the bathroom. The moment you stepped out you froze. And so did your breath. There in front of you stood your lovers. All of them. 

“You're pregnant.” Alec was the first one to speak after a minute of silence.

“No-” You started but was immediately cut off.

“Don’t lie, we can hear it.” Caius spat out, a frown on his face making your heart ache a little. Caius wasn’t the nicest but you’ve never seen him look at you like this.

“I-How I just found out?” You questioned.

“It’s a vampire, It’s been baking for two days now.” Dem spoke looking you up and down as if he was examining you. 

“I-”

“This is an abomination. You're getting rid of it.” Cauis said firmly.

“What?” You questioned.

“It’s against the rules.” Aro stated like that mattered to you.

“So what?! You make the rules!” You yelled feeling protective of the pea or baseball size of a baby you just found out about.

“It’s a killer.” Alec said taking side by Jane.

“Trust me, we know.” Jane said so monetoned. 

“A killer? It’s not even here yet! A killer? Then what the fuck are you!?” You yelled throwing the closest thing to you, which happened to be a vintage vase that you saw and fell in love with. Marcus had gave the task to some vampires to steal it for you as it was an antique in a museum 

Seeing it hit the ground and shatter you immediately burst into tears.

“My vase!” You sobbed feeling a heavy sadness you hadn’t felt in a while. The vampires glanced at each other witnessing the affects the infant has already brung upon you.

“Yeah.. Our lives are going to be a living hell if we keep this thing.” Felix stated making the others agree in their own ways in silence, as you sobbed over the pieces of glass trying to put the back together.

2 weeks later

“I’m hungry, But I don’t want that.” You said pointing to the wine glass Aro held in his hand. It was full of a red substance made specifically for you, he said.

“It’s just wine.” Aro said as his grin grew bigger tell you that he's lying his ass off. And doing a bad job at it.

“Like hell it is! You're trying to kill me!” You said crawling back further into the couch you were sitting on. 

“That would be easier than whatever this is.” Caius spoke looking at the scene of you and Aro in distaste. 

It had been 2 weeks since you found out you were pregnant. 

The tension has still been high on both ends. With your never ending mood swings that always ended with you breaking something and in tears. The amount of glass you’ve broken is enough to bring bad luck on all those who step foot in this castle. 

“Shut up!” You yelled at Caius, bothered by his attitude. His comments lately have been putting you on edge every time he spoke yet he still doesn’t walk on eggshells around you like Alec, Felix, Marcus have. You honestly wish he would so you wouldn’t have to hear his mouth.

“What is that?” You questioned turning your head as Aro tried to make you take a sip of the mystery liquid in the glass.

“Your favorite wine.” Aro said, like it was a fact, causing Jane to snicker in the back making Alec laugh immediately.

“You see I would believe you if I didn’t know how my favorite wine moved.” You started.

“That’s thick.” You finished with a monotone voice.

“It’s just-”

“Blood My-! We're going to be here all day unless you tell her.” Dem groaned, rubbing his eyes in annoyance.

“I know you're lying! Are you serious?” You questioned raising your eyebrows in disbelief.

“You had to have known that this was coming soon.” Jane stated, looking at you as she herself was sipping on a glass of wine.

“I didn’t think it wouldn’t come, I just thought we’d talk about it instead of trying to trick me into it!” You yelled looking at Aro with eyes that slowly grew furious.

“Here we go again.” Cauis spoke, shaking his head.

“I’m just sick of hearing you speak, can you shut up!?” You questioned in frustration of Caius’s existence.  

“Can you just stop?! I swear in my whole existence I've never met a human more irritating than you!” He shouted right back at you. Hearing his words you felt a shock of sadness run through you. Your eyes immediately watered. 

“You don’t love me?” You merely whispered as tears ran down your face. Full on sobbing now. Cauis looked shocked. Like he didn’t know what to do with you. And quite frankly none of your love’s knew what to do.

“Don’t cry darling.. That’s not what he meant.” Marucs said softly as he walked into the room sitting next to you.

“Then what did he mean?” You question looking at Marcus with wet eyes. He led you to lay your head on his chest by your head making you immediately relax.

“What I think is this is a very complicated time for us all. And it will take some getting used to but it won’t last forever.” He spoke with wisdom flowing through his veins. 

“It feels like forever.” Felix said snickering but immediately apologizing when you shot him a pointed look.

“I’m sorry baby.” Felix apologized, making you relax back into Marcus' chest.  

“What did that doctor tell you?” You questioned, referring to Carlise, the vampire doctor Cauis ordered Aro to call in attempts to find a way to get rid of the seed sprouting inside of you. Summoning a fight in you you never knew you had. 

The anger you felt that night was one you’ve never felt before. One you couldn’t even explain with words. One that you could only explain or show with physical action.  

“That you should drink the wine.” Jane spoke with annoyance rolling her eyes.

“You drink it!” You yelled.

“I don’t even know where that came from.” You continued as your body went back and forth with the feeling of being relaxed and tensed.  

“A human.” Alec said plainly.”

“I’m not drinking that.” You said for the last time.  And they knew it. Sighs flowed through the room as Aro finally gave up and put the glass of blood down.

The vampires consumed themselves in conversation as you zoned out. Some of the talk was about the baby, you, blood, and death. Things you didn’t want to hear. The talks of them turning you made tears roll down your face. Your hands made their way from Marcus’s to your stomach. You knew that at some point you would have to turn if you wanted to be with your lovers forever. But you didn’t think it would come this soon. You wanted to experience a bit more of the human world. Rather that was by yourself or with your eternal love’s. 

You smiled at that thought as you felt the baby inside of you start squirming. 

Wait squirming? 

It’s moving? 

Your eyebrows frowned in confusion. You’ve never felt the baby move like this. You opened your mouth to speak but all that made a sound was little hums. That softened to nothing as your sight bounced from light to black.

You had plenty of time to die. 

Or so you thought.

[sleepyjuice]

dad to be!jj taking care of pregnant reader 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

You had never felt more helpless before in your life. Everyone who said pregnancy was this magical and wonderful experience was lying.

Well, it was, some days. But when you got about an hour of sleep total the previous night due to the fact that you had to get up to pee every twenty minutes and you could not get comfortable for the life of you, you were miserable.

The sun eventually came up in the morning and you were forced to start your day, which you were not happy about.

You still had so much to get done before the baby got here, and jj had truly been a saint, but he still had to work full time as you had started your leave of absence from work.

On today’s to do list, you had to unpack and organize everything you had gotten for the nursery, as well as set up some of the smaller furniture.

jj left for work around 11 that morning, kissing both you and your belly goodbye, making sure to tell you, “don’t worry if you don’t get anything done. Imma take care of it when I get home.”

Although he truly did mean what he said, the fact that there was a room full of things to do was driving you crazy.

You got to work shortly after he left. All you had gotten done was unpacking a box of bedding and some blankets, and that’s where jj found you hours later when he got home from work, curled up on the floor, a makeshift pillow from one of the blankets below your head as you slept.

“Baby, you okay?” His soft voice brought you back to consciousness, your body aching from laying on the floor for hours, rubbing at your eyes to look at him clearly where he was crouched above you.

It was immediate tears after that. The sight of jj, the countless unpacked boxes still littering the room, no progress done whatsoever.

“Hey, what’s the matter, mama? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He brought a hand to your face, his eyes flicking all around your face and body for any sign that you had hurt yourself.

“No, I’m fine,” you cried, attempting to sit up but failing, grateful for jj’s quick reaction time as he grabbed onto your waist and pulled you up so you were sitting upright.

“I just feel so useless. All I did today was sleep, nothing got done, I feel like shit and god fucking damn I have to pee so bad.” You ranted, warm tears spilling down your cheeks as you let it all out.

jj gave you a sad smile, licking his bottom lip as he racked his brain for the right words to say to you. He knew how he felt, but struggled to speak his thoughts, especially with your emotions all over the place.

“Baby, it’s okay. I’m glad you were able to get some sleep, I could feel ya tossing and turning all night,” he spoke softly, his thumb padding at the tears on your cheek, “you’re doing the hardest part of this whole thing, carrying our lil baby inside of you. That’s more than a days work. You gotta let me handle this stuff, it’s what I’m here for.” He added, and honestly his words had you crying even harder. He was right, you knew that, but jj sitting here reassuring you and basically spilling his heart out had your emotions going crazy. He was perfect.

“I love you.” Was all you could say between your sobs, letting your head fall into jj’s warm chest as he held you on the floor of your child’s unfinished nursery.

“I love you, too, baby. It’s all good. I’ll take care of all of it.” He responded, and at that, you lifted your head to shoot him a glare.

“Or… once you get a good nights sleep, we can work on it together, how’s that sound?” He quickly corrected himself, and his words satisfied you, pressing your head back into his chest as he held you.

“I guess that’d be okay.” You said quietly, your sobs turning into sniffles as you gained a little more composure of yourself.

“Alright. Well, I picked us up some food on the way home, for whenever you feel like getting up.” He kissed the top of your head, his hand rubbing gently at your sore back.

You sighed contently, nodding against him before leaning back and holding your hand out towards him, needing help to get up these days.

“That sounds nice,” you hummed, jj taking your hand, his other holding onto your lower back as he hoisted you up to your feet as gently as he could.

“But if I don’t get to the bathroom in the next ten seconds, I am going to fucking piss myself.” You added.

“Yes ma’am.”

[domripley]

Cockwarming

pairing: tfem rhiannon lewis x reader

warnings: dom rhiannon, cockwarming, rhiannon is mean, punishment, mommy kink, drabble, creampie.

summary: after coming home to you breaking her number one rule, rhiannon punishes you.

kinktober 23/24: cockwarming

edited by lovely girlfriend @specialinterestshows 🥰

“Oh baby,” Rhiannon sighed, walking into your shared bedroom to see you touching yourself. She had told you that was her number one rule - you never touch yourself unless she tells you to. But here you were, touching yourself when she had planned on fucking you. “I’m going to have to punish you.”

“I- I’m sorry, it’s just…” you began, but your voice died in your throat. “I’m sorry.”

Rhiannon glared, “Are you sorry? Because if you were, you wouldn’t have done it to begin with.”

You pouted, biting your lip as Rhiannon unbuttoned her shirt. The two of you stayed quiet, and once she was in pajamas, she climbed into the bed with you.

“Lay on your side, facing me,” she instructed and as soon as you did, she moved down a bit. Rhiannon put your leg over her, lining her cock up with your entrance before slipping all the way inside of you.

“Fuck, Mommy,” you whimpered, leaning in to try and kiss her. You whimpered as she stopped you, shaking her head.

“You don’t get to kiss me or move. We’re going to lay here and cuddle and you’re going to think about what you did. Understood?” she asked.

You whined, but nodded. Rhiannon wrapped her arm around you as you tried your best to stay as still as you could. It was a lot harder than you thought it would be, occasionally squeezing her cock when she would accidently thrust inside of you.

“You want to know what I was planning on doing to you when I got home?” she prompted, and you looked at her. “I was going to have you sit on my face-“

You cut her off with a whine, “Please.”

“Shut the fuck up,” she hissed. “As I was saying: then, afterwards, I was going to bend you over and fuck you. Wanted to give you so many orgasms but here we are, I’m using you as a pretty little cock sleeve as you sit here whining.”

“Mommy, please, m’sorry,” you begged in hopes that she would give in to you.

“No,” she gasped as you clenched down on her. “I think you like this a little more than you let on, huh?”

You took a deep breath, realizing that she was right. You laid as still as you could as Rhiannon started to move as slow as she could. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good.” she moaned.

It felt good, but it wasn’t enough to even get you close to coming. Rhiannon continued to fuck you, taking a deep breath as she fought against the urge to fuck you harder. She knew if she did, you wouldn’t be able to hold in your orgasm.

“I’m barely even fucking you and this cunt is making a mess all over me,” she hummed, loving the way you were squeezing around her. “So close to coming, beg me to come inside of you.”

“Please, please, please Rhee, please come inside of me, need you to so fucking bad,” you begged.

Rhiannon grunted as she came inside of you, fucking her cum as deep as it could go before she stopped moving. You looked at her, silently pleading for her to make you come. You whimpered as she pulled out of you, getting up, she grabbed her shirt off the floor and wiped off her cock.

“Hopefully, when I come home from work from now on, you’ll think twice before touching my cunt.” she hummed.

You nodded, “Yes, Mommy.”

“Good girl,” she praised.

You got up and off the bed, making your way into the bathroom to pee. You stopped in front of the mirror, turning to look at yourself, and you sighed.

It was going to be a long night.

[darklydreamingdaddydom]

He could tell his girlfriend was getting quite stressed from work and school…  She never seemed to get a break.  So he waited until she had a solid 5 days of nothing..  With no one or thing to worry about.

    A lot of planning was involved, he cleaned out an old storage room and put in a crib with plastic sheets and cuffs on each corner of the bed (good for changing naughty rebellious little girls who wet and mess themselves.)  

    There was a cabinet, filled with diapers, powder, wipes, and cute little outfits that made her look like a 3 year old..  There were also paddles, vibrators, rope, cuffs, and crops etc. depending on how bad his little girl decided to be.

    Finally it was time..  She came home from work with a sigh of relief..  He handed her cranberry juice with laxatives and diuretics.  Soon enough she would realize that she needs diapers, and Daddy’s guidance.

    “Sweetie, I want to talk to you about something..  I know things have been so stressful for you, and I want to help.  Let me take care of you this weekend, so you can just relax.”  She loved the idea of that, it sounded perfect to her…  Little did she know what was actually in store for her.

    Some time had gone by, and she was beginning to get a bit suspicious…  Why did he keep feeding her snacks and drinks?  She had all ready had so much, but she didn’t want to disappoint him..  Suddenly a need to pee washed over her and she doubled over trying to hold it.  

    “What’s wrong baby?”  I asked, as I pulled her onto my lap.  “I’m not a baby,” she responded rather indignantly.  “Now let me up, I need to use the bathroom.”  She squirmed in my lap as I held her in my arms, she gave me a strange look as she struggled.  “Listen baby girl, I’m going to take care of you this weekend, but you’re going to have to follow some rules…  Rule number 1, bathroom off limits.”

    “You’ve gone crazy, haven’t you?”  She asks in disbelief, the pressure growing in her bladder.  “Crazy for you little girl,” I teased as I began to tickle her.  Now she really began to squirm and writhe about, but suddenly froze as I felt my own crotch begin to get soaked, with a steady *drip drip* on the floor.  

    “Oh my God, Sarah, didn’t you just say that you weren’t a baby?”  She was didn’t know how to process what happened, red in the face and utterly humiliated..  She just wanted to hide, she couldn’t believe that she just wet herself, now she was soaked.

    “C’mon sweetie, lets get you cleaned up.”  Before she knew it she was being carried in his arms..  She really did feel like a baby in that moment, and it was kind of nice knowing that he was there to take care of her..  But then she saw it.  He opened a door to what looked like an adult nursery.  

    Before she could say anything he had laid her down and began locking her ankles and wrists into the cuffs attached to the four corners of her crib.  That’s right, her crib, because she was the only one in sight who wet themselves like a toddler.

    “What are you doing?!”  She yelled and she flailed about against her cuffs.  Relax sweetie, this is for your own good..  You need to give this a chance, the cuffs are just in the beginning to help you settle in..  They may be used as punishment in the future if you’re going to be a naughty little brat.  “Are you fucking crazy?!”  She yelled.  He gave her a hard swat on her butt, and that was enough for her to go quiet, with just a small whimper, as she looked up with pleading eyes.

    He began to cut her clothes off of her, until she was completely naked.  The look in her eyes betrayed her, was she secretly enjoying this all ready?  Could she finally give up control to someone else?  He did make her feel safe, even though she was completely helpless now.  But then she saw it, he pulled out a thick diaper from the cabinet, and her face grew more red then he had ever seen.

    “What are you doing with that?..  Please no..”  She begged, and she lifted her cute little ass for him without even thinking.  Before she knew it he had expertly taped the thick diaper in place between her legs.  She couldn’t help but press her diapered butt against the changing pad bringing it back and forth as the diaper rubbed against her princess parts, making her moan.  She felt so humiliated and helpless, why was it turning her on so much?

    He slapped her diapered but again, and told her no cumming without permission was rule number 2.  She pouted and looked up at him, about to plead for a second time before she caught herself..  She didn’t want to be in diapers!  This was ridiculous!

    “You’re going to behave, right baby?”  He let her out of her restraints, and lifted her onto his hip, carrying her back over to the couch.  He pulled a sheet off the couch, which turned out to be waterproof.  Important when you have a leaky baby to take care of.  Into the wash it went, to be ready again in a few hours when her diaper is at its leaking point.  

    He held her in his lap again, giving her soft kisses and rocking her..  She was still trying to get over the fact that her Daddy was holding her in nothing but a diaper, when she felt a sudden intense pressure in her bowels.  She blushed at the thought of calling him Daddy, and began to squirm.  “Please let me up, I really need to go.”

    “That’s what your diapers are for sweetie, just relax and let go”  She wasn’t having it though.  She kept trying to fight and even buck against him as he held her down in his lap.  It was to no avail, she couldn’t struggle and hold it..  She felt herself losing control, blushing as she let farted and her belly growled and grumbled.  She stopped struggling and focused all of her might on holding it in.

    She began to cry as the mess forced its way out of her and filled the back of her diaper.  It just kept coming as she grunted and struggled to push it into her tight diaper.  She was utterly exhausted and spent by the end, and a complete mess.  Makeup down her face from crying, and the fullest diaper she could imagine.  She began wetting herself, but didn’t even care at this point.  She just tried to hide in his arms, really feeling like a baby for the first time.

    He patted her mushy diaper, pressing it into her..  She didn’t even try to stop him any more.  “You’re such a good girl, you’ve gone through a lot baby..  Lets get you cleaned up with a bath and then get you in a fresh diaper.  Then we can curl up and watch a movie.

    She sighed as he was carrying her again.  She was humiliated, but she knew she was in good hands..  She would never admit it, but she might be enjoying this after all.

[fitgirlfemdom]

Small dick anon here. When I was 185lbs it measured 5 inches, but by the time I was 270 pounds it was only 4 inches with all the fat around it. I never used to have any complaints about my size but once I got bigger it changed. I would only occasionally slip out of someone before and was able to get a good amount of motion. By my biggest weight I had two sexual experiences. The first was with a longtime fwb who loved my dick I was around 260 and my partner likewise. With the extra weight it never stayed hard for as long, and I realized unless I was like totally hard I couldnt stay inside them at all. Theyd guide me in, I’d thrust my heavy overly sweaty body forward and when id motion back it would fall out. I ended up feeling so embarrassed after a few minutes of this that I took my half hard dick and just rubbed it against their clit using my hand and eventually I thrusting my shaft against them. In the end they came a couple times.

The next time I had sex I was even more out of shape at 273 and it was with a girl who was at least 270 herself. I tried fucking them missionary the same as the fwb but our stomachs were both so big. The same thing happened as before but I got hard enough to stay in. I literally couldnt actually thrust it forward it basically was just weight shifting without any friction. This only lasted a minute before she asked me to fuck her from behind. Her ass was huge and I barely got any friction, also had to rest my stomach on her ass to even get inside a little. She put her hands on the wall and rode my dick and that was the only way anything happened. Id never had it happen before but after about a minute i told her I was going to cum. I meant this to mean “slow down” but she started saying “cum for me baby” and pushed her ass into me harder. I came less than 10 seconds later drenched in sweat and completely out of breath. Id barely done anything. I felt so embarrassed I didnt even try fucking her again. She definitely didnt cum and she barely felt it at all.

I also had an online relationship where I showed her my dick and asked if she thought id be big enough to fuck her from behind or if id need a strap and she said “definitely a strap.” Apparently the first time i sent her a video of me touching myself it started with me being flaccid and between how fat my fupa was, you could only see the head and she thought i had a clit until i got harder. I’m 240 now so its still a small dick but i remember at my highest weight when i was flaccid even peeing had to be done sitting down because i didnt have enough length to aim and id have lean over to get the job done and then wipe up after like a girl. I wish I could have stayed that weight for longer, I really wanted to find a thin girl for the first time in my life just so I could see how disappointing I would be. Ive trained myself to cum in under a couple minutes and someday i hope I can get to be over 300 pounds so I can truly be pathetic. I was so close to buried penis syndrome I know with the right guidance and support I could get myself there and be a bit pathetic neutered fuck toy for someone to abuse and humiliate lol

AGHHHHH i've got a lot to say about this.

this reads like a fantasy scenario i'd post on here. the slow degradation of your sexual nature from average dude to sexual degenerate gets me going.

i've also heard from multiple pigs in my DMs that sex gets very difficult at the 270+ size, with cowgirl being the only suitable position. i can only imagine how difficult that would be if your female partner was also fat. honestly i'm having trouble understand how that would even work, but i digress. the girl's ass being so fat you couldn't even penetrate? honestly i feel bad for everyone in this situation. her riding you and making you cum in thirty seconds surprised me, as if i was in that situation, there's no way i'm letting a pig cum that quickly. omg i would've rode your face for an hour til you calmed your horny ass down

the last paragraph GOT ME. having such a small, covered dick that girls think you have a vulva is crazy. as a thin woman, i've never seen a dick that small in real life. i think the smallest dick of one of my partners was 4 inches, and it was so unsatisfying i swore off sex for the past year 😭 i can only imagine going out with a loser, giving him a chance, and getting home to seeing a one-inch nub between his legs. would you be able to penetrate anything with that? you'd probably have to just get oral for the rest of your life. i wonder how crazy it would feel to have a way smaller surface area, but the same amount of nerves, as an average sized cock. do you think you'd be sensitive? do you think you'd be able to have a vibrator on your little cockhead for more than a few minutes without shooting ropes? do you think if a pretty girl just sucked on your little cock for a few moments, you'd start moaning like a pathetic gooner? you'd want so bad to just fuck her like you used to be able to, but your dick just isn't good enough. you'll probably just end up humping her ass with your gut on her back while you cum down her thighs.

so helpless at sex that you'd just be reduced to sitting under your girl's desk, eating out her cunt while you jerk off your little nub between your fingers. eventually, you might get quite good at it. she might never even let you fuck her again, binding you up in a custom chastity cage because it's not like you can use it anyway.

aghhh thank you for this message small dick anon. i wish more of my inbox messages were like this

[artssslut2]

Unexpected: Part Seven

Art Donaldson x Pregnant!Reader

Smut, Fluff, Angst

Being on tour with Art was great… for the most part. The only downside is now you were 25 weeks pregnant. So far you have gotten to see two different countries which has been amazing, the plane rides were rough, you never liked flying but now it was worse. The doctors said you have to get up and walk the isles every hour, and on top of that you had to get up and pee like every five seconds. You were having a lot of anxiety latley, all you wanted to do was get a nursery together and buy clothes and organize them , but it was rough when you didn’t have a house to do that in. You had a bad habit of keeping things in so Art really didn’t know. On the bright side you finally felt the baby kick. Art however did not, she would move all day but whenever Art was around she didn’t move. He was getting really nervous that she wouldn’t like him or that she was scared of him.

“She’s probably just sleeping, baby’s need sleep too you know.”

“Well she sleeps too much.” He pouted

Surprisingly you love learning about physiotherapy, and you loved working with your best friend.

You and Art got home from one of his matches after a very long day.

“I’m gonna shower, you want to join me?” He asked walking though the hotel door into your suite.

“My feet hurt so bad I just want to sit down” you said dramatically collapsing onto the couch. Art laughed and went into the bathroom. You pulled out your computer to work on the list you were making for the baby. You looked at all the stuff you still needed, then you wondered where the fuck you were going to put all of this stuff. Your head started to throb with worry.

“Hey babe what do you want for dinner? We could-“ you felt yourself snap

“Art Stop!” You said firmly. He looked surprised kind of like a kicked puppy, he was use to your mood swings at this point though. He knew it was best to not say anything. “We have nothing for the baby.” You said rubbing your temples

“What do you mean we have that swing that my aunt sent us.” He said calmly

“At home. We have that at home we aren’t home right now art. We won’t even be home when she’s born.”

“We are going home, around your due date remember? We’re taking a few weeks off before we start traveling again.” He tried to comfort you and sit next to you but it wasn’t working,

“That’s not enough Art. Where will she sleep or play? How are we gonna travel with a newborn? dont they need like stability or -“

“Hey hey hey. Y/n take a breath” he tried gently interrupted you. “We are going to figure all of this stuff out I promise. It might be a little crazy and chaotic at first but we will get used to it. We can have stuff shipped to the house and then when we get home we can figure out what we need and how to do everything. I promise we will be okay. And the baby will have us as her stability.” You smiled slightly, he could always calm you down.

“Okay but can we start ordering things now. Because I’m going crazy Art.” You said leaning closer to him.

“Of course my darling” he chuckled softly kissing your head. “Should we get dinner first?” He asked, on cue your mood totally changed you didn’t want to eat anything,

“Actually I think I want something else.” You smirked,

“Yeah like what?” He asked not catching onto what you were saying. You giggled putting a hand to his face and pulling him in, your other hand slid down him abs to his lap, he watched your hand carefully

“Yeah?” He asked growing hot, you just nodded and climbed onto his lap. Your belly was sizable now, it was pressed right up to arts toned abs as you kissed. It grew hotter and hotter, you pulled his shirt off of him. You aggressively made out with him rubbing your hands all over him while grinding on his rock hard dick. You grew very close to an orgasm.

“Fuck y/n” he moaned as he watched you get off from dry humping his cock. When you rode out your high Art reached down to free his aching cock as you pulled your dress up. Art frantically pushed your underwear to the side and effortlessly slid himself into you. You both let out a moan in sync. You immediately started bouncing on him hard and fast. He grabbed your ass so hard and rocked you back and fourth.

“Please Art fuck me harder I need you.” You begged. This drove Art crazy, he picked you up still on his cock and flipped you on the couch so you were on your back. He started pounding into you so hard you could feel all of him inside you. You moaned like you were in a porno and so did he

“You’re so needy aren’t you? Fuck I’m gonna miss the hormones.” He said while throwing his head back,

“Cum with me art please” you moaned trying to hold on, he lowered his chest to yours and came with a heavy moan, you followed throbbing around him. You both caught your breath as he was still inside of you. He pulled out and flopped on the couch, you chuckled at how red his cheeks were.

“Ok I’m ready for dinner now.” You smiled standing up adjusting your dress. Art looked at you and laughed tiredly.

You and Art had decided to go down to the hotel restaurant to grab some food. Once you had finished you went back upstairs to unwind for the night. You both crawled into bed and were looking at the list on your computer. You browsed various stores and websites online for baby things like cribs and towels and bottles. Looking at all the baby stuff made you so antsy to meet your little girl. You felt the urge to buy everything you saw. Art did too.

“We should get her stuff in yellow so it can match her name.” Art said slyly referencing his name idea that you had shot down many times.

“Ha ha” you responded sarcastically.

“What do you think we should name her then?” He asked laying back and stretching.

“I have no idea but-“ you gasped sharply and put a hand over your stomach. Art sat up quickly,

“What’s wrong, what happened?” He said panicking, you didn’t respond you moved your hand a little then smiled “what?!” He asked growing frantic

“It’s the baby, she’s kicking” you smiled looking at him, his face lit up mabye now he could finally feel his baby move. It looked like he was frozen. “Cmon give me you hand.” You laughed grabbing his hand, Art was quiet and focused like he was scared he would scare her away if he moved to fast. You placed his hand where she was moving then slid you hand lower to find her. You both waited for a second and then…

“Oh my gosh.” Art breathed out, a tear came into his eye and a smile spread on his face “that’s our baby?” He asked sweetly,

“That’s our baby.” You beamed with peer joy, you wiped a tear that fell from his eye. The baby started moving around after hearing you and Arts voices. “She likes your voice.” You told him. Art looks more in love than he had ever looked,

“I can’t believe we made a baby. Me and you y/n” you felt nothing but love in your chest you kissed your boyfriend and overlapped his hand with yours,

“You know she moved when I said the name Sunny” he smirked, you rolled your eyes “I think she likes it, do you like it Sunny girl?” He asked leaning to your belly, he placed a quick kiss on your bump then your lips. You laughed at your goofball of a boyfriend.

The rest of the night you ordered everything from a crib to onesies. Art even bought a baby tennis racquet of course. You both slept peacefully with arts hand never leaving your belly.

[queenofthekings]

𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒞𝒶𝓉

Summary: Every cat loves Eddie, all except one.

Author's note: I have no idea where this came from but the idea of a cat making Eddie's life hell is so funny to me.

CW: None

Word count: 702

Any hate will not be tolerated, constructive criticism is welcomed.

It was easy to say Eddie liked cats, and cats very much liked Eddie. Anywhere he’d go, he would somehow attract cats; whether they were strays or domesticated, they seemed to be all over him.

All cats liked Eddie, except for one.

Wayne’s ginger tabby cat – also called Eddie – despised him. Eddie the Cat would pee on Eddie the Human’s bed, use his guitar amps as chew toys and hiss anytime he so much looked in the cat’s general direction. On more than one occasion, Eddie had thought about how life would be easier if that cat wasn’t around.

The ginger tabby had been around for as long as Eddie could remember, always curled up with Wayne on the couch after he came home from work and snuggled up to him while he slept.

But as soon as Wayne left, and it was just Eddie and the cat? A never-ending spree of growling, hissing, and trying to bite and scratch Eddie’s hands. But nobody ever believed him, because the cat was so nice and sweet to everyone else except for him.

Even you had a hard time believing that the little elderly cat was capable of being so vicious, as he was always sweet to you and wanting head scratches. It was while you were giving Eddie the cat endless amounts of attention and Eddie the human was stumbling in the kitchen to make drinks that you made him question everything, by a simple observation; “Eds, have you ever thought about who was named Eddie first?”

He hesitated as he brought his head out of the fridge to look at you, “what do you mean, honey?”

You leaned back a little on the sofa to get your head closer towards him. “I mean, the cat has been around for practically forever. Have you thought that the cat was named after you or the other way around?”

Eddie completely froze at the thought, falling unusually silent for the rest of the night until you went home, and he was able to sit down with Wayne during dinner. “Wayne,” he began, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “This is a serious question; was the cat named after me, or was I named after the cat?”

Wayne looked at his nephew for a few moments, completely confused as to why he’d ask such a question before finally answering. “You were named after the cat.”

The answer completely broke Eddie, he felt as if his whole life was a lie. For years, he thought he was named after a distant family member or someone famous but to be named after that cat? Absolutely not. It had to be a lie; it couldn’t possibly be true.

But Wayne wouldn’t lie to him, would he?

Laying in bed and being unable to shake that thought, even at 2am. He called you, waiting multiple times for you to pick up, your sleepy voice quietly coming through the phone. “Eddie, it’s late, tell me it’s important otherwise I’ll have to kill you.”

He could tell you were already falling back asleep as you were talking, and he did feel bad for waking you up, but you were the voice of reason. “I’m sorry for waking you up, baby. I promise I’ll make it up to you in the morning, but Wayne told me I was named after the cat and-”

Your sigh cut him off, hearing the rustling of your bedcovers as you got comfortable. “Eddie, you were not named after the cat, and the cat doesn’t hate you.”

“But how do you know?”

“Because Eddie the Cat is seventeen years old, you’re almost twenty. And he only attacks you because weed is toxic to cats and you reek of it most of the time, you complete muppet. Now go to fucking bed.”

Eddie was about to question you again, but you hung up on him, almost instantly drifting off back to sleep. He tried to call you several times, but you were too deep in sleep to reply. By the time you woke up, you had 6 missed calls and only one text.

EDDIE: But how can you be SURE I wasn’t named after the cat?

[persephonewritessometimes]

Moon Song / part six: punisher

Summary: A peek into Y/N's and Hotch's relationship three years later.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x (AFAB) Reader

Word Count: 2445

Warnings: proposal, pregnancy, wedding, happy and in love!hotch&reader, brief mention of sex

Playlist: Link

Author's Note: Thank you all for reading! I have a little surprise that will be going up sometime soon (bonus chapter lmao because I can't get enough of moon song!hotch) Thank you for all the likes, comments, and reblogs, I see them all and I'm so grateful. <3

This work is meant for readers aged 18 and over. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

Three years. Three years of therapy. Three years of working cases together. Three years of Hotch trying not to burst a blood vessel when officers attempted to ask me out, and I politely shut them down. Three years of co-parenting. And three years of learning how to communicate and love each other in a healthy way. It wasn’t easy, not one part of it, but it was worth it. Because we’re okay. Better than okay, actually. We made it out. Together. With minor casualties of course, but we fucking made it.

         Haley married Todd two years ago, and they welcomed a little girl named Emma about a year ago. Haley and I have become friends, she helped me learn what it’s like to be a mom and I go to her when I have questions about Jack and how to handle certain situations. She lets me babysit Emma too, and I’m obsessed with that little girl. It makes me wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn’t had a miscarriage.

         I’m getting ready to go out for dinner, and since JJ had hinted that I might want to look nice I slipped into a pretty sky-blue dress. Aaron is downstairs putting away the dishes, I can tell that because it’s louder than all get out. He tries to be gentle, but I think he just hates putting the dishes away, so he rushes to get them done as fast as possible. Since he’s preoccupied, I dig around in the under-the-sink cabinet, reaching for a box in the back. I rip open the pregnancy test, pee in a cup, and wait. I’d been feeling off lately, my period was a few days late, and I just wanted to make sure. A couple of minutes pass and I turn the test over.

         “AaRON?” My voice cracks as I shout his name.

         “Coming!” He shouts back and I hear him jog up the stairs. He pushes the door open and sees my hands shaking. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” I can hear the panic in his voice.

         “I’m pregnant,” I whisper, picking up the positive test on the counter and showing him. I watch him closely, as several emotions flash over his face and he’s trying to hold back a grin, always waiting for my reaction.

         “And how do you want me to feel about that? Whatever you want to do, I’m on board with you one hundred percent.”

         “I want this baby so fucking bad,” I say, starting to cry. “After the first one, I felt so lost. I thought I would never get pregnant again.” He grabs my hand and squeezes it tightly.

         “I was going to wait to do this until we got to dinner, but I think the universe is telling me to do it now.” I watch as he gets down on one knee, fishing a small box out of his pocket. I start to cry even harder.

         “Oh my god, you are not – what – I – “

         “Y/N Y/LN, will you do me the biggest honor of my life? Will you marry me?”

         “Yes! Oh my god yes, of course!” He slides the ring on my finger, gets up, and kisses me deeply, not seeming to mind that I can’t stop crying and my nose is running. We break apart and he rests his forehead on mine, a hand on my stomach.

         “Whatever happens, no matter what, I will be here for you, always. I’m never leaving. You are my heart; you are my home. I love you.”

         “I love you too,” I whisper thickly. He kisses my forehead, then bends down and kisses my abdomen. I laugh and the smile he shoots me is so bright I almost feel like I could fall over from the force of it.

         “Okay, so you have two options. The dinner we originally planned where there may be some familiar faces.” He winks at me, and I laugh again. “Or, we can call it a night, have some steamy sex, and watch a movie?”

         “Wow, that’s a hard choice.” I pause, then say, “Let’s go see our friends.” I take a step back to wipe my tears and blow my nose. “But I’m still expecting steamy sex later, regardless.” He laughs loudly and promises that he’ll live up to my request. I smooth my dress down as he dials someone on his phone.

         “JJ, change of plans. I may have already proposed so no need to be incognito.” He says, smiling at me.

         “Dammit!” We hear Reid shout in the background.

         “Oh, thank god, Reid’s insistence on a fake mustache has made him insufferable,” JJ says, chuckling.

         “We’re leaving in a few, see you then.” He says, hanging up the phone. “Are you okay?” He asks, looking me over.

         “Yeah, just a lot of big things at once,” I say with a soft smile.

         “Need a moment alone? I can get the car ready.”

         “If you wouldn’t mind,” I say.

         “Of course, pretty girl. I’ll be downstairs. I love you!” He retreats, softly closing the door behind him. I look at myself in the mirror, I look down at my stomach, there’s no visible difference, but I feel different.

         “What if I told you I feel like I know you, but we’ve never met?” I whisper down to my belly, smoothing my hands over it. I feel tears prick at the corner of my eyes, happy tears, and I put my shoes on before joining Aaron in the garage.

We drive to my favorite Italian place around the corner. “You really pulled out all the stops, didn’t you?”

“Anything for the love of my life.” He says, squeezing my knee.

“Oh my god, you are so sappy!” I say, resting my hand over his.

“I can’t help it; you make me weak in the knees.” We pull up at the restaurant, and he parks the car. We walk inside to the team yelling “CONGRATULATIONS!” I laugh and show off my ring, Aaron’s hand resting on the small of my back.

“Can we please eat for the love of god? You guys took forever to get here.” Morgan groans.

“Watch how you talk about my fiancé, Morgan,” Hotch says, glaring at him. Morgan holds his hands up in mock defeat and we all take a seat at the table that had been prepared for us. Hotch is seated to my right, and JJ is to my left. I lean over to say something in JJ’s ear while the rest of the team talks loudly.

“I’m pregnant,” I say, loud enough so she can hear me but no one else can. Her head whips around so fast, eyes wide. I laugh and nod, and she grabs my hand.

“Congratulations, Y/N!” She says in my ear. I beam at her.

“Who knew that it would turn out this way three years ago?” I say, and she gives me a sly smile but says nothing. I wonder what she has up her sleeve.

-7 months later-

         The wedding is beautiful – everything I wanted it to be and more. It’s a pretty small wedding, we only wanted our closest friends and family there. My sister and her husband came, as well as my parents even though they were traveling abroad at the time. Haley and Todd came, and they kept an eye on Jack during the ceremony. I’m in love with the dress I picked out – it’s an off-white color and is loose in the belly – something I knew I would need. I’m waiting for my cue to walk down the aisle, and I smooth my hands over my bump, resting my hands underneath it.

         “You’re glowing,” JJ says. I asked her to be my Matron of Honor, needing someone with a level head to keep me from freaking out. “You have your vows?” I nod, pulling a piece of paper out from the bust area of my dress. She takes it from me, vowing to keep it safe until I need it. Reid walks in and says,

         “Beautiful as ever, Y/N. JJ they’re ready for us to walk down the aisle.” Spencer winks at me, and I smile, mouth suddenly dry. This is really happening. They walk down the aisle, and then my dad is there, offering me his arm and a smile.

         “Breathe. It’s going to be fine; I promise.” He whispers to me, right before we round the corner and walk down the aisle. I take a deep breath and look up, locking eyes with Aaron and he’s crying. I start silently crying, emotional both from the day and the pregnancy hormones coursing through my body. My dad shakes his hand and hands me over. Aaron kisses my forehead, then my belly, and takes my hand. When we get to the vows, Aaron goes first.

         “My beautiful, Y/N. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see this day. I am not the same person I was three and a half years ago. You have changed me irrevocably and for the better. I close my eyes every night and I dream that I can hold you.” He winks at me, a callback to the letter he sent me, and I laugh. “I never thought that I would get to hold you forever. I promise to always love you, to always put you first, and to always take a bullet for you.” Another wink. “I didn’t think I would get another chance with you, but time and time again, you have surprised me and taught me how to love myself. I can’t imagine doing life without you. I love you.” He wipes my tears, and JJ hands me my vows. My shaking hands unfold the paper, and now it’s my turn.

         “I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say in my vows, as you already know how I feel about you. Then I was afraid I would say too much, and then I wouldn’t know where to start, wouldn’t know when to stop. Everyone knows you’re the way to my heart. I hope that when people look at me, they see the love I have for you, the love I have for our family, and the love I have because of you. I loved you from the first moment we met, and I have loved you every moment since. I promise to never stop loving you, even when you insist on making dinner and burn something, even when you put the dishes away too fast and it sounds like a bull in a china shop, and even when you take a bullet for me. I love you so much that I didn’t even know how to put everything in words.” I fold my paper back up and look up at him, wiping his tears, and he kisses the back of my hand when he’s done. Rossi, who got ordained just for this moment, pronounces us husband and wife, and Aaron’s lips are on mine before Rossi can even finish his sentence. Everyone hollers as Hotch kisses me like we have no audience and when he finally pulls away, I'm breathless.

         The reception starts after we take pictures, and everyone cheers when we walk in. We share our first dance, then take a seat at our private table because I’m starving and could probably eat the whole buffet table at this point. Aaron gets us both a plate, my belly weighing heavy from being on my feet for a while, and I subtly slip my feet out of the flats I was wearing.

         “Eat slowly,” Aaron says, raising his eyebrows at me when he sets my plate down in front of me. I glare at him, but oblige him, nonetheless. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. I watch the room as we eat, everyone is laughing and having fun, and I’m smiling watching them.

         “I can feel you staring at me, you know,” I say after a few minutes, turning to face Aaron.

         “What, can I not admire my beautiful wife?” I blush, suddenly shy. He leans in to kiss me and I go,

         “Oh my god you can’t kiss me, you’re married!” He pulls away and hisses,

         “Y/N that is not funny! I married to you now, dumbass.”

         “Yeah, I know, but it was funny to me,” I say grinning.

         “You’re evil.”

         “Oh, definitely,” I say, leaning in and kissing him.

         JJ gets up and taps a knife on her cup to get everyone’s attention.

         “Hello everyone, thank you for coming. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m JJ, one of Y/N’s and Hotch’s friends, and I just wanted to give a short speech. When you work with profilers all the time, you start to pick up on things. When Y/N first joined our team, we welcomed her with open arms, and she fit right in. Two weeks into Y/N being at the BAU, our dear friend Spencer Reid, made a one-off comment about Hotch’s body language whenever Y/N is in the room. Hotch, for being section chief, we expected you to be able to keep a secret a lot better.” He laughs, and she continues. “When we in turn looked at Y/N’s body language, the attraction between them was obvious. At that moment, we placed bets on if they would last or not and seeing as we’re at their wedding, I’m pleased to announce I won that bet. Not even our resident genius was certain that Y/N and Hotch would make it out together. I may not be a betting woman, but I’ll always bet on you, Y/N.” She winks at me, and I laugh. “Needless to say, I bought you guys a really nice gift with the money I won, so, you’re welcome!” Aaron and I both laugh at that. “All that being said, I’m thrilled that you two have each other. Everyone who looks at you sees the love you two share, and it’s a beautiful thing to see. Even if it’s hard to work with two people who are constantly swooning over each other. I love you guys.” She nods, and I get up and hug her.

         “Thank you,” I whisper in her ear, “For everything. We wouldn’t be here today if you hadn’t stuck by my side and supported me.” She just squeezes me tight.

         We dance the night away before my eyes start to shut for more than a split second. Aaron calls it a night, and everyone sends us off. He helps me into the car before getting into the driver’s seat.

         “Well, you’re stuck with me forever now, Mr. Hotchner.”

         “And I couldn’t be happier, Mrs. Hotchner.”

---

bonus chapter!

---

TAG LIST (want to be added? click here!): @helmihotchner @hausofwhores @stxlemate @heidss @justjoyceme @bxtchopolis @art-and-thoughts @morgthemagpie @rousethemouse @ssamorganhotchner @mrs-ssa-aaron-hotchner @sebastiansstanswhore

[sammeth]

WARNING: sub!eddie munson + piss kink and CNC! (Little bit of humiliation kink too).

I know that the piss kink fandom is small, but, think about eddie squirming and moving around on the couch because he’s gotta pee but he doesn’t wanna stop watching the movie. you put it on for background noise, but it’s still one of his favorites. now’s the time, you decide, to initiate something you two talked about doing for a little while. cnc is one of his borderline favorite kinks, but you’ve never played it out to the extent that he asked for last night. it’s time to give him what he wants, and you probably want it just as bad, too.

“eds?” he only glances at you as you say the nickname, humming softly in response. he tightens his legs together, crossing them over the other, and rubs his sweaty hands against his jeans. he’s been squirming for a while now. he’s all worked up and antsy. “sit still for me, buddy.” you tell him, staring him down from across the couch. this gets his attention, but only slightly. you’re usually pretty controlling anyway. this isn’t very new for him.

“sure, sure,” he goes back to watching the movie like nothing happened, trying his best not to fidget or move around in his seat anymore. you can’t help it, you have to sneak a peak down at his jeans. your eyes make it halfway down, stopping at the spot on his tummy where his bladder is bulging slightly because of how full it is, and your eyes go dark.

getting up from your seat slowly, you crouch down below him and get on your knees for him. he looks at you in confusion. “baby?” he asks, chuckling a little. “sure, but I gotta piss first, ‘kay?” he asks, starting to get up from the seat. you push him back down.

“nuh-uh,” your hands fly to his jeans and undo his belt, yanking it off of him so fast it would’ve given him a burn if it had been against his skin. he jumps at the feeling and his eyes go wide. “sit still,” you remind him, eyes narrowing.

“sweetheart…” he warns, squirming a little once again. “i don’t wanna…y’know,” he gets a little embarrassed and avoids your eyes. “I’ve really gotta go this time. i can’t hold it.” you’ve played around with piss control before, but you’ve never gotten any on you. that’s what he’s insinuating; he can’t play right now. he can’t hold it.

“don’t want you to,” you spit back at him, undoing his jeans so harshly that he loses control for a second and the front of his jeans goes a little darker. he gasps at the feeling and quickly stops the stream, making you smirk. “hold it for me. can’t go until I say so, got it?” he just nods in return, biting at his nails with an innocent look on his face. he’s getting embarrassed. “color?” you ask, using the system.

“green,” he breathes out, smiling to break character and let you know that he’s really good. you nod and yank his jeans and underwear down. he presses his thighs together as hard as he can and tries to stop his hardening cock from leaking all over the place. he takes deep breaths, making you smirk again and lean down to drag your tongue along his length, taking his tip into your mouth. “you’re being mean!” he gasps and you can feel him tense up even more, gripping the couch cushions.

for a second, you think that he’s already cumming because you feel something warm and salty slide down your throat. he instantly looks embarrassed again.

“I’m sorry!” he shouts, pulling you off of him. “I didn’t mean to—“ he’s interrupted by you taking him back into your mouth, sliding all the way down until your nose is buried into the soft brown hair covering his abdomen and jean line. he practically fucking screams, his head hitting the back of the couch so hard you think he’s concussed. after the throat-ripping shriek, he’s gasping for breath and fucking his hips desperately up into your mouth.

it’s not that bad actually, the taste of piss. you grip his inner thighs and let him fuck your mouth, taking him as best as you can because you’re also desperate for him to cum all over you. you’re looking up at him the entire time. the whining, screaming, gasping mess that he is.

“fuck! oh, fuck!” he goes cross-eyed. his eyes flutter shut and his mouth hangs open as you feel the mixture of piss and cum sliding down your throat. you slide all the way down on his cock and swallow hard, taking everything that you can. tears well up in your eyes, you can’t breathe, but it doesn’t matter. “god…fuh-feels so fucking good!” he’s shaking underneath you. long after he’s done cumming, he’s still emptying his bladder down your throat. you gratefully swallow every little bit of it, only coming off of him once your tummy is full and he’s done.

“good job, baby,” he whines at the praise, legs still shaking, and holds his arms out for you.

the movie comes to an end in the background and you feel your bladder tightening a little, letting you know that the time’s coming around soon. you sigh.

[usertiff]

TLDR: no rent money, last time i was late w rent by 2 days i got an eviction notice, my cat needs urgent medical help, i’m out of work due to severely debilitating pain. extremely disabled, indigenous lesbian desperately in need of help. also a paragraph about how much i am sorry

my friend said, “nah bestie asking for help isn't shameful in any way. there's strength in knowing what you need,” but i still feel like crud

i am literally sobbing as i post this because i just feel... i feel like a loser, i feel worthless, i feel so many emotions right now because i’m so terrified and tired of asking for help. i’m terrified of people just being sick of me because i’ve needed help before, and i don’t know. i would never shame anyone else for needing help, and i know realistically it shouldn’t be shameful, but i personally feel shame because i feel like a failure. i feel like a loser/worthless/failure because of something that’s completely out of my control, and yet, the feeling is still there. i’m exhausted. i’m exhausted from being in this stressful, urgent situation. so i’m sorry. i’m so sorry i’m asking for help again, i’m so sorry. i feel horrible, i really do. i feel guilty for needing help. i feel sick. i’m trying not to, and i’m trying not to cry, but i’m typing this through very blurry vision rn.

as i’ve mentioned on my blog, i’ve been out of work due to severe chronic pain. i was able to work through my other disabilities. narcolepsy, my shitty mental health auDHD/bipolar, etc. but this chronic pain has been completely fucking debilitating. medical fatphobia tw incoming: i saw a neurosurgeon today and they won’t give me surgery because of “my weight being a risk for post-op complications, such as stitch rips”, so i just have to deal with the pain until i can lose enough they’ll operate on me ????????? i dont know what the hell i’m going to do........... this sucks so fucking bad i just wanna go back to work i hate living like this

my fiance needs her wisdom teeth removed really badly, but we had to cancel her appointment because the money we saved for it had to go to our cat.

possible animal death tw: my cat has bladder stones now................................. last time he had stones it costed almost $1k in surgery. the bladder stones will kill him if not treated, because toxins build up in the body and if he cannot pee... just sldfksldfkj i don’t wanna talk about it. he’s miserable. 

i’m going to have to dip in to our rent money, which was actually our tax money because i’ve not been working so tax money was our saving grace this past month, to keep taking him to the vet. however, last time i was late on rent just 2 days, they gave us an eviction notice and only 7 days to come up with rent. that was a fucking disaster. so i’m TERRIFIED!!!!!!!

i need help so bad. with just surviving being out of work, and now my cat... i’m super annoyed because i was desperate to get my baby sister a doll for her birthday but there’s no way that’s happening now. 

anyway, i’m sorry. i’m sorry for everything. i’m sorry i need help. i’m sorry if you’re sick of seeing me on your dash for like the 3rd time needing major help.

i have set up a gofundme here https://www.gofundme.com/f/uwkhj-help-my-family-survive?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

however, if you’d prefer to donate directly, due to the fact that gofundme takes a big portion of funds, here are my accts:

pypl: selinaaakyle@gmail.com, v: @oraclelauren (3177), ca: $selinaaakyle

every donation is going to be greatly appreciated, and i promise to pay the kindness forward in every little way that i can

please don’t put yourself out to help, but if you can help, my heart goes out to you with forever gratefulness 

[darklydreamingdaddydom]

He could tell his girlfriend was getting quite stressed from work and school…  She never seemed to get a break.  So he waited until she had a solid 5 days of nothing..  With no one or thing to worry about.

    A lot of planning was involved, he cleaned out an old storage room and put in a crib with plastic sheets and cuffs on each corner of the bed (good for changing naughty rebellious little girls who wet and mess themselves.)  

    There was a cabinet, filled with diapers, powder, wipes, and cute little outfits that made her look like a 3 year old..  There were also paddles, vibrators, rope, cuffs, and crops etc. depending on how bad his little girl decided to be.

    Finally it was time..  She came home from work with a sigh of relief..  He handed her cranberry juice with laxatives and diuretics.  Soon enough she would realize that she needs diapers, and Daddy’s guidance.

    “Sweetie, I want to talk to you about something..  I know things have been so stressful for you, and I want to help.  Let me take care of you this weekend, so you can just relax.”  She loved the idea of that, it sounded perfect to her…  Little did she know what was actually in store for her.

    Some time had gone by, and she was beginning to get a bit suspicious…  Why did he keep feeding her snacks and drinks?  She had all ready had so much, but she didn’t want to disappoint him..  Suddenly a need to pee washed over her and she doubled over trying to hold it.  

    “What’s wrong baby?”  I asked, as I pulled her onto my lap.  “I’m not a baby,” she responded rather indignantly.  “Now let me up, I need to use the bathroom.”  She squirmed in my lap as I held her in my arms, she gave me a strange look as she struggled.  “Listen baby girl, I’m going to take care of you this weekend, but you’re going to have to follow some rules…  Rule number 1, bathroom off limits.”

    “You’ve gone crazy, haven’t you?”  She asks in disbelief, the pressure growing in her bladder.  “Crazy for you little girl,” I teased as I began to tickle her.  Now she really began to squirm and writhe about, but suddenly froze as I felt my own crotch begin to get soaked, with a steady *drip drip* on the floor.  

    “Oh my God, Sarah, didn’t you just say that you weren’t a baby?”  She was didn’t know how to process what happened, red in the face and utterly humiliated..  She just wanted to hide, she couldn’t believe that she just wet herself, now she was soaked.

    “C’mon sweetie, lets get you cleaned up.”  Before she knew it she was being carried in his arms..  She really did feel like a baby in that moment, and it was kind of nice knowing that he was there to take care of her..  But then she saw it.  He opened a door to what looked like an adult nursery.  

    Before she could say anything he had laid her down and began locking her ankles and wrists into the cuffs attached to the four corners of her crib.  That’s right, her crib, because she was the only one in sight who wet themselves like a toddler.

    “What are you doing?!”  She yelled and she flailed about against her cuffs.  Relax sweetie, this is for your own good..  You need to give this a chance, the cuffs are just in the beginning to help you settle in..  They may be used as punishment in the future if you’re going to be a naughty little brat.  “Are you fucking crazy?!”  She yelled.  He gave her a hard swat on her butt, and that was enough for her to go quiet, with just a small whimper, as she looked up with pleading eyes.

    He began to cut her clothes off of her, until she was completely naked.  The look in her eyes betrayed her, was she secretly enjoying this all ready?  Could she finally give up control to someone else?  He did make her feel safe, even though she was completely helpless now.  But then she saw it, he pulled out a thick diaper from the cabinet, and her face grew more red then he had ever seen.

    “What are you doing with that?..  Please no..”  She begged, and she lifted her cute little ass for him without even thinking.  Before she knew it he had expertly taped the thick diaper in place between her legs.  She couldn’t help but press her diapered butt against the changing pad bringing it back and forth as the diaper rubbed against her princess parts, making her moan.  She felt so humiliated and helpless, why was it turning her on so much?

    He slapped her diapered but again, and told her no cumming without permission was rule number 2.  She pouted and looked up at him, about to plead for a second time before she caught herself..  She didn’t want to be in diapers!  This was ridiculous!

    “You’re going to behave, right baby?”  He let her out of her restraints, and lifted her onto his hip, carrying her back over to the couch.  He pulled a sheet off the couch, which turned out to be waterproof.  Important when you have a leaky baby to take care of.  Into the wash it went, to be ready again in a few hours when her diaper is at its leaking point.  

    He held her in his lap again, giving her soft kisses and rocking her..  She was still trying to get over the fact that her Daddy was holding her in nothing but a diaper, when she felt a sudden intense pressure in her bowels.  She blushed at the thought of calling him Daddy, and began to squirm.  “Please let me up, I really need to go.”

    “That’s what your diapers are for sweetie, just relax and let go”  She wasn’t having it though.  She kept trying to fight and even buck against him as he held her down in his lap.  It was to no avail, she couldn’t struggle and hold it..  She felt herself losing control, blushing as she let farted and her belly growled and grumbled.  She stopped struggling and focused all of her might on holding it in.

    She began to cry as the mess forced its way out of her and filled the back of her diaper.  It just kept coming as she grunted and struggled to push it into her tight diaper.  She was utterly exhausted and spent by the end, and a complete mess.  Makeup down her face from crying, and the fullest diaper she could imagine.  She began wetting herself, but didn’t even care at this point.  She just tried to hide in his arms, really feeling like a baby for the first time.

    He patted her mushy diaper, pressing it into her..  She didn’t even try to stop him any more.  “You’re such a good girl, you’ve gone through a lot baby..  Lets get you cleaned up with a bath and then get you in a fresh diaper.  Then we can curl up and watch a movie.

    She sighed as he was carrying her again.  She was humiliated, but she knew she was in good hands..  She would never admit it, but she might be enjoying this after all.

[ratsoh-writes]

Today was actually awful, like I wanna rant about it but if y’all don’t wanna see that just ignore this

Ok so I have a neighbor who used to baby sit me when I was in elementary school. She’d make me top ramen even though my mom wouldn’t let me have it at home. She has my eternal love and loyalty for that.

Anyways now, this lady is like 80-90 something. Old as fkn dirt and the last five years dementia hit hard and she’s basically a toddler with the attention span of a sparrow now. Her daughter is her caretaker, and occasionally I babysit granny (neighbor) while her daughter runs errands . I do this for free cause I fkn love granny, like it’s no problem

Well today granny was having a bad day, she had a fit and started yelling (she has really flip floppy moods but she’s just loud, never violent so I’m not bothered) and when she goes out onto the porch, she heads to her swing seat acting like she’s gonna sit down. I follow cause you know, mandated babysitter/entertainment. Granny then does the fastest old lady sprint ever back inside and locks me out. Not a problem, I have a house key

The. Key. Isn’t. Working.

So I call her daughter, no pick up, I text her, nothing. I’m still outside, I try all keys on the ring in every direction I can think of. Granny is cussing and yelling at her reflection in the tv inside (she has so much beef with her reflection, it’s hilarious). It’s now well over a fucking hour, and I’m still out on the porch praying that granny won’t fall or something till I can get back in. The only reason I haven’t called like the cops or something is cause I can tell she’s not hurt or anything inside.

Finally she lets me in, cause I use the tried and true excuse of needing to pee (“oh go to the bathroom then girl!!”) and I do fkn pee dammit, and by then I was locked outside for about an hour and 15 min. The fallout is she threw all her clothes out of her dresser and undid her daughters bed. I clean up her stuff after slicing her a banana as a distraction, and we eat lunch together cause her daughter still hasn’t come home and it is that time. (she fkn loves fruit)

Well by now daughter is supposed to be home. I’m only supposed to be here for an hour and half. Granny is a happy camper and telling me about the good old days when she pulled all the bitches. Confuses me for my mom a few times, and talks about her son simultaneously being a child but also a father of grown children (she mixes up her timelines too)

Her daughter doesn’t come home for another hour and forty five min. I’m so happy I called work and told them I had a family emergency, cause if not, I would’ve had maybe 20 min to get ready and scream to my students after that shit show. It just wasn’t gonna happen today

Anyways I’m not mad at granny, she has the brain of a guinea pig who just heard it’s owner walk into the kitchen. I’m mad at her daughter who never answered my calls and who didn’t give me a heads up that she was gonna be out nearly two hours over our agreed time. And the reason? She left her mother fucking car in hee dumb freaking hecking ducking car. Like butch I’m watching your biggest responsibility and you just don’t have your phone on you????? What if there was an accident??? If anyone was watching my kid, my phone is in my fkn pocket with the vibrate on just in case. And she doesn’t even apologize

Literally I don’t think I can watch granny anymore, and that freaking kills me cause I adore her. But I don’t trust her freaking daughter anymore. She goes over time all the time, that I always brushed off. But just not having her contact with her, that’s so dangerous. Literally went straight home and just cried for a solid 20 min afterwards cause of how shaken up I was.

Anyways that’s all. Just wanted to rant about it

[gust-jar-simulator]

So I’m writing the goddess Din as an active character in this one fic, and I did not expect her to be chatty. That’s Farore, if any of them, but Din just keeps going.

•🌒🔥🎇🔥🌘•

Shadow wanted to scream. Most importantly, he wanted to shove his dad’s head through his massive, hideous desk, then whine at his mother, and then find the Mirror of Dawn.

He couldn’t stay here. Not after reading those notes- soul transfusion? Literal shadow siphoning? Homunculi, ushabti, something called the “golden power” and the son of the green goddess.

He could’ve guessed that Vaati probably didn’t birth him, though Shadow tried not to assume limits about what the man could and couldn’t do. It was a good way to get cursed. If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t entirely sure if Vaati and Ganon were actually married or just weirdly intense about arguing with eachother. Shadow shapeshifted, like Vaati, and he was naturally a bit purple and red, like Ganon. But he also had the smooth, angular face of a Hylian, and he’d never seen one outside of Vaati’s glamors.

The notes said he’d been born of Ganon’s magic and the shadow of a divine hero. And here he already thought the man sucked at naming babies.

But that meant he was part of something, part of someone, part of a family that wasn’t just moblins and stalfos and fae imprisoned in iron cages. A family that breathed air that didn’t belong to his old man. A family that might actually fucking look at him, if they knew he existed.

He was going to break every piece of pottery in this hideous palace, and that’s if Ganon was lucky. A little respect and acknowledgement shouldn’t be that much to ask for, but if he wanted a warrior son so bad Shadow could deliver a fucking war to his-

Well hello there, little firecracker.

Shadow froze in the middle of packing his bag, and blinked. What?

Lynel got your tongue? Strange warmth flickered against his skin, shoulder and back and stomach, dry heat ghosting across his cheek like the stirring of desert wastelands. It was hard to say if the gasp was surprise, or a natural reaction to the feeling of parched earth cracking wide. The laughter came with the faint scent of cinnamon and sandalwood. Surprising for such a vicious little spider. I’m surprised there’s only one of you, but maybe he wouldn’t have survived more. After all, there’s no guarantee he’ll survive you.

“What?” It felt like someone was hugging him, from behind. “Who is this and why are you touching me?”

There comes a time, said the voice of blood and incense, when a son must… disobey his father. You will graduate from pet to brother- and I, little shadow that could, am your proctor.

He bristled, seething in the vague direction of the phantom chest burning through the back of his tunic. “I’m no one’s pet.”

Only pets have to ask nicely to be let outside, hummed heatstroke and shifting sand. Breaking pots isn’t too much different from peeing on the floor, from my perspective. If you’re not a pet, my dear, I suggest you get to work.

“Who are you,” he hissed, “why are you in my head, and why do you even care.”

He had the very clear impression of someone else’s smile curling against his cheek, possessive arms squeezing gently around his waist, and they burned like the sun. Those notes referred to a green goddess. I am the red goddess, serpent and steel, thirst and hunger. And you, my child, are hungry enough to swallow the world. I want to see what you do next. She hummed, slow and thoughtful. Perhaps I might even help, if you fix your attitude.

“I’ve had two gods try to fix my attitude on a daily basis, ma’am, I’m afraid you’ll have to get in line.” Still, his shoulders relaxed, even if his skin felt stretched and too-tight, the strange goddess’s blazing attention edging very near pain. But he was used to pain. He could work with that. She definitely didn’t sound trustworthy, but he would’ve trusted her a lot less if she came at him promising cozy comforts.

Hunger and thirst were something he could believe in.

He sheathed a knife in his boot, summoned an orb of darkness and ran it through a few shapes- spear, sword, shield, bow- and capped it off with the slow, thorny sprout of a rose between his knuckles. A green goddess, he thought, watching false petals slowly unfurl. What would green be like?

A potential sponsor, if you like. One of many.

Black sparks flew off of the flower in a burst of distracted pollen. “Sponsor? Other people know I’m here?”

Of course. Warmth that made his skin go tight, rigid like a scar, slid against the back of his palm. The edges of the rose flickered with red light, sharpening the thorns, strengthening the stem, pushing the petals out until they looked almost plush in the gloom of the Palace of Twilight. He could smell it, thick and heady and strange, lush like some sort of odd fruit. Could you eat real roses?

The goddess wrapped around him like a pleased cat moved again, phantom touch tracing a triangle on the back of his hand, and he found himself listening carefully. We come in many forms, with many proxies. Use them or don’t, as you like. Use me or don’t, as you like. My sisters are very curious about you, yes- but I’m the only one that can reach you here.

That sounded a little too convenient for his tastes. She clearly caught it, because she laughed again, and a dry wind swirled through his suite.

Your father belongs to me. Dust to dust, little shadow- someday he will return to me, whether he likes it or not. And I will clean him, and swaddle him, and deliver him to the world of blood again, as I have done since gods first learned to die. She kissed the top of his head, tugged lightly at the end of his ponytail. Your father belongs to me, but the way of favorites is that I can only have one. Do try not to mention that I said hello. You’re strong, but far from ready for the consequences of that.

[sweetlittlegingy]

So because this beautiful person, is feeling down, here’s something I’m making up on the fly that can go with Better Man Universe;

It was a lovely Sunday Morning in sunny San Diego. The lights were streaming in through the curtains. Natasha “Phoenix” Trace was currently curled around her favorite man. She snuggles closer into her husband, Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw. As the light gets stronger, she shifts and wakes up. “Mmm. Bradley. What time is it?” She asked as she shifted awake in his arms. It felt so good to let her hair out for the day.

Bradley let out a deep groan as he stirred to check the clock. “It’s 10:15 AM baby.” His voice was deep and husky of course. He chuckles and kissed her jaw before getting up of course. He wrapped a blanket around his waist and went to pee smiling. He looked at his wife and smiles. “Just as gorgeous as the day we met.” He cooed to her.

~flashback 4 years ago, Hawaii~

Bradley Bradshaw was sitting in a bar off the base in Hawaii. Being set back had taken a tool so he went to go grab a drink. After sitting at the bar he growls at the dark haired woman before he sighs. “I’m sorry for that behavior. I’m Bradley.” He said to her. “Natasha.” She replied and smiles politely at him. “You aren’t used to it yet are you?” She asked him. “Not really no. I got held back. But it’s not ok for me to dump my life story. I at least owe you dinner.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, sick of men hitting on her. But for once, the cheesy 70’s porn mustache and Hawaiian shirt kinda worked. He apologized to her and offered her food. Why not? He was cute. “You are on.” She smirks.

~flashback ends~

Bradley smiles as he looks at Natasha remembering how they met for the first time. He thought she was too hot for him and look what happened. When he saw his wife’s soft gaze, he smiles at her. “God I am so glad I met you when I did. You fixed me Tasha. And I’m thankful everyday.”

Natasha laughs and smiles. “I’m glad I could change your life my darling husband.” She smiles and also laughs as she drinks her coffee. “I’ll never regret ever saying yes to you. I love you Mr. Bradshaw.”

“And I you, Mrs. Bradshaw-Trace.” He smiles and leans forward kissing her. If only they knew that the ghosts of Carole and Nicholas Bradshaw were watching them. They were proud of their son and all he had, friends, family, and a love like theirs. That’s all they wanted. Today was a good day. One of the best Sundays to date.

#natasha trace X bradley bradshaw

My goodness, my sweet! Thank you so much. You've really been there for me these last couple of weeks and I can't thank you enough 🤍. This just adds to the list of sweet things you've done for me and I absolutely love it.

But have I ever mentioned how much I love "Better Man" Nat and Brad Brad. They are just adorable and I know not everyone likes them together, but in this series, they are fucking adorable. And the fact that you've added to their story 😍😙!

...

Okay, but not only is Brad upset by being set back a couple years, but he's at a new base in Hawai'i which should have been heaven. But the poor man was severely jet lagged and hadn't been able to get a good night's sleep during this first week.

His bunkmate snored horribly and that was on a good night, on a bad night the 20-something man talked in his sleep. While it had been funny the first and maybe second night, by the third Brad was over it and truthfully he had made his way to the beachside bar just so he didn't have to see the guy any sooner than absolutely necessary.

Now the fact that the bartender had slipped right on past Brad twice for the pretty little thing down on the far end of the bar, even after Brad vocally asked for another instead of the small tip of an empty beer bottle he usually had to do. Left him pushing off from his current position and heading over to her side of the bar.

The site of Brad's face must be grim as the bartender straightens up from his relaxed posture chatting up the woman. His elbow knocks against the poor girl's arm as he tightly demands the refill. His head dips only popping up at the sight of the woman shifting, gazing at him with a harsh look of distaste.

The sight of her watching him makes his cheeks flair and he can't help but to feel like an absolute dick. How had the first interaction he has with a beautiful woman in Hawai'i been on that he made himself look like a complete ass?

“I’m sorry for that behavior." His hand rakes through the unruly curls, before he gives her a sheepish smile. "I’m Bradley.”

She glance's from his eyes to his open awaiting palm, before sighing with a smile and settling her hand in his. “Natasha.” She replied and smiles politely at him.

She does a quick sweep of his figure taking in the pristine uniform and the tired look in his eyes could only mean one thing. A small laugh slips past her lips as she gives him a cheeky smile. “You aren’t used to it yet are you?”

Her tone is teasing and it takes her eyes flashing down to his wings before Bradley realizes just what she talking about. A small grin that's finally at ease settles on his face as she hides her smile behind the beer she sips on.

“Not really no. I got held back." His tone drops and he coughs lightly in hopes to not lose the flirty banter that had been passing between the pair.

"But it’s not ok for me to dump my life story." She nods in agreement, taking that cue that he was trying to lighten the conversation again.

"You most defiantly shouldn't be doing that," she smiles again at him her tone airy and before slipping the aviator glasses from the breast pocket of his shirt.

The sight of her cheekily grinning at him, has Brad moving that inch closer that causes Nat's head to dip back to follow his eyes. She leans into him slightly, hand settling on his chest as a smile laugh falls from her lips and causes her head to dip back even farther when Brad winks in the most exaggerated way.

His hand finds home against her cheek, and his thumb rubs against her cheek gently. Before popping the glasses off the bridge of her nose and settling them back on his.

"I at least owe you dinner.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, sick of men hitting on her, used to their hump-and-dump tactics. Though some about the one in front of her has her regular decision wavering. The cheeky grin that he gives her seals the deal and for once, the cheesy 70’s porn mustache with the faded Hawaiian shirt worked.

He was cute and he apologized to her. While adding on the offer her food. Why not? Even if he did turn out like the others, at least she was getting dinner out of it. “You are on.”

She smirks, slipping from the bar as she makes her leave. Bradley stumbles over his words momentarily watching as the woman he thought was gonna be it for him, leaves after she had just said yes to a date.

A small laugh falls from her as he gets more flustered, and her dress flares out around her as she turns. Though before she leaves, she gives him a final glance over the shoulder and a wink of her own. "Don't worry flyboy, you'll be seeing me sooner than you think."

...

Thank you so much for this babes! I really needed this and I just, thank you. You have a piece of my heart 🤍 (so do Nat and Brad now too!)

[alyosiuscreightonward]

Dear Diary. Talk about people who actually suck.

Recently my late husband’s dog passed away at 14 years old.

So…His kidneys shut down and he was sneezing and urinating blood all over the house. Plus he was 14 years old. It happened in a matter of days. I first thought he had lost another tooth and I went on about our lives. Then he just started to decline. He wandered around the house, just staring out and pee blood. Which leads him to start sneezing blood. I waited a day and told Childzillah we had to make that informed decision…

That’s what happened. I texted my dad on Father’s Day and wished him a happy Father’s Day but I was in a bad situation but I didn’t get into it with him.

Of course my sister had gotten those aforementioned texts just to shut the fuck up about it and leave me to grieve his passing. BUT NO!!!

My baby, my life, my heart, Harrowgate Broadchurch Cunningham Rogers has lost his pack. First was, The Emperor of Quail Village, Augustus Caesar Cunningham Rogers; he passed away due to neurological damage, he was 6 years old. Then there was, His Holiness, The Brother Levi Reddy Gudipally, he was 21. Now, CoCo Monaco Veronica Louise Ciccone Penn Ritchie Corleone The Third. However in between all this bullshit, my husband had passed away.

It was a trigger for me and I was dealing with it as best as I could. It reminded me of the days of yore when I had 8 friends die before I was 30 because of complications from AIDS/HIV. Okay. Not a fucking great time in my life. Granted my idiot sister wouldn’t fucking understand that pain since she’s 7 minutes younger than me and she’s constantly saying fucking shit like, “I’m the baby, gotta love me!!” Bitch. Please. Go ahead and have your Walmart Temper Tantrum elsewhere. No Sale here. I’m not feeding into it. “He’s picking on me!!” Fucking twat. Change your own fucking diaper.

As of this writing, I had every intention of calling my dad and telling him what happened BUT NO!!!

My sister fucking ratted me out. She put me on Front Street. She put that landfill on my dad’s property. Thanks a lot for that you stupid fucking idiot. “I’m SO going to TELL!!!”

I’ve been working on myself for years and now I’m dealing with shit better than before and the Lexipro is helping me not to feed into other people’s bull-fucking-shit. I’m of the mindset that if you tell me something, I believe in the sanctity of the confession and what you tell me, I’ll deny everything. “My name is Oliver North and I have no record collection of that memory.” I loathe telling folks that I’m dealing with my own bipolar depression, manic episodes of hypomania and suicidal ideations. I’m making progress. It’s a moment by moment thing.

Regardless of my rant, my sister will never understand how much she hurt me, again.

She’ll then claim I’m being so secretive about my life. Motherfucker, if I am able to tell you, then I would tell you and not put it in The National Enquirer or on TMZ. Nacho Bizness. Nunya Bizness. Not your story to tell. I have therapists who I confide in and not my family. They have a tendency to throw it up back in my face because they can and they will.

The love for my family is real and not just conditional. However I know that they don’t like me as a person because I’ve done shit and I’m not going to judge them but I’m going to say very clearly, that my dachshund and I WILL talk shit about them, but I’m not going to tell the world what I think because I’m irrelevant.

CoCo is going to rest in power but I will talk shit about him and not you.

Now you see why I stay over here and mind my business and I make every effort to keep myself out of your life and business. If you want me to tell you all about yourself, there’s going to be tears and they won’t be my tears. Trust and believe. I’m sure that you are not ready for my verbal and emotional abuse. I’m very good at it. My tongue is so sharp that it can and will clip the hedges. I’m going to annihilate you into a puddle of tears. Though this requires some effort on my part and I didn’t schedule that today but now, I’m going to tell her, that she can speculate about it since I’m not going to say shit to her.

Yeah I know that my dad worries about me but if it’s my shit then let me deal with my shit and don’t interject yourself in my business.