#I’m actually pretty hot and cold with franchises
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#red alert the multitudes are threatening#all hands abandon ship#if I fall back into a doctor who hole I’ll indulge on my other tumblr I promise#doctor who#DAVID TENNANT IS BACK#HOLUP It’s Russell t Davies oh no I’m done for#Donna noble my beloved#this year really has been a renaissance of 2012 me hasn’t it#I stopped watching cause I took issue with moffat’s show running#I’m actually pretty hot and cold with franchises#it’s full steam or nitrogen freeze#ah fuck it’s on Disney plus i cry
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𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒚-𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏
hello, my babies! I am so so so sorry for disappearing and for not writing! I keep running into writer's block, especially regarding my requests, as there's an overload of smut in there, and there are only so many times you can write smut, haha. I hope you like what I've written, all thanks to sebastian stan for looking so fine and @lovebittenbyevans for putting the idea of cop sebastian in my mind! I am open to turning this into a small series, kinda like what @navybrat817 does with their fics. inspired by this photo
summary - there's a fundraising event in your small town, and you happen to run into the hottest officer in town.
warning - the word cunt is used, and thoughts of feeling something's hand against their private parts.
the gif and header I use aren't mine.
Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.
It was a hot day as you walked toward the fundraising function held at the local park. Your cherry-printed sundress flowed perfectly in the breeze, and your pink glossy plumped lips spread into a soft smile as you passed by your friendly neighbours. You approach your friend's coffee stand, thanking her graciously, as she instantly hands you the cold drink. Your lips immediately wrap around the straw, drinking the liquidity goodness into your mouth.
“Sooo, baby. Did you see Sebastian?!” Your friend whisper-yells, staring at you with wide eyes as though she has some secrets to spill. You shake your head, not knowing that he is here. “Oh my god! You need to see him! If you thought he was hot in his uniform, you’re going to be on the ground when you see his outfit!”
You giggle, shaking your head at your friend’s excitement. “You and every other woman in town are obsessed.” You look through her assortment of snacks she has set out, not wanting to look around for the man you guys are talking about. “How much do you want for the coffee?” You reach into your small pink bag, ready to take out your purse.
“Nothing, it was already paid for before you arrived.” You look at her with furrowed brows, and she smirks at you in response.
“I have a feeling you won’t tell me who.” You squint at her. “Unbelievable.” You shake your head, “Alright, well. I’m going to go look around for a bit.” You lean over and give her a hug before setting off and beginning to look around at the stalls everyone has set up. You hear laughter, and your eyes follow the sound. There stands the police force, all chatting and having a good time. Your breath hitches as your eyes land on Sebastian, one of the hottest officers in your small town. He stands, glistening into the sun with a tan, his body somehow sparkling. Your eyes move down, gulping as you notice his white wife-beater hugging his figure perfectly, how bulky and oversized his biceps look in it. Your gaze moves down, feeling drool in your mouth as you notice his nicely fit slacks. A whimper nearly falls from your lips. The thing that really ties the whole look together is his little man bun.
You hear a cheer, followed by your name being called, and your eyes move around the group until you land on Anthony, his hands waving around, causing the other men to look over, and you give a soft smile. “Y/n! Come over, baby!” You walk over, chuckling as his arms wrap around you and bring you into a hug. “We’ve been looking for you! Well, actually… Ow!” You look up in time to see a can bouncing off Anthony’s head, and he glares at someone. “What the hell, man?! That’s littering!”
You turn your head, feeling your heart pound as your eyes connect with pretty blues. Sebastian smirks, giving you a nod. “Sorry, Bud. Couldn’t have you running your mouth, especially in front of this gorgeous woman.” He winks, and you feel your cheeks heat up. He spreads his arms, raising a brow. “Where’s my hug, Princess?” You slowly move from Anthony’s hold and into Sebastian’s. Your arms wrap around him, and you sink into him. Your eyes flutter closed, feeling your head become fuzzy as you take in his delicious scent. How could he smell and feel so nice? He should be illegal. “I see you received the coffee.” Sebastian pulls back and gives you a smirk, his eyes flicker down to your plump lips, and his tongue flicks out as he imagines what your gloss would taste like against his lips.
“You’re the one who bought this for me?!” You look at him, shocked but not surprised. Sebastian had always managed to pay for your things before you even arrived. He nods before directing his attention to the group, spinning you so your back is against his front and his arms wrap around your waist. Your body heats up, feeling your cunt throb from his actions. “Thank you…” You let out quietly, softly smiling as he leans down and kisses the top of your head in response.
“Damn! You’re wasted being a cop, Stan!” Anthony chuckles, sipping his coffee as he stands with his hand in his pocket.
Sebastian huffs, “And why is that, Mackie?” Anthony smirks, looking between you and Sebastian.
“Because you’re killing all the ladies!” You burst out into a fit of giggles, “So, you would’ve made a great criminal.” Anthony’s brows wiggle, “Sebastian Stan! Killer of Women! He’s the killer that gets away!” His voice booms, and the other officers laugh.
“Hmm, I could get on that. But there’s only one lady that I’d love to kill with my charm.” Sebastian smirks, looking down at you without you noticing. He pulls you flush against his body, enjoying the shivers that run through you. You felt nice in his arms. Your gaze followed his tanned arms and landed on his large, veiny hands, accessorised with rings. Ones that make you wonder what they would feel like against your most sensitive part. You enjoy being this close to him. You could feel the jealous daggers from the women around you, but you didn’t care about them. You were in Officer Stan’s arms, the hottest guy in town.
thank you for reading!
feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.
#imyourbratzdollwork#officer sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan#sebastian stan characters#sebastian stan fanfiction#sebastian stan x you#sebastian stan fluff#sebastian stan one shot#sebastian stan fandom#sebastian stan au#sebastian stan fan fiction#sebastian stan fic#sebastian stan imagines#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan oneshot#sebastian stan angst#sebastian stan x female reader#sebastian stan x fluff
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Snow (Hey Oh): A Fanficlet
So a little note before going into this: I've been into creative writing and fanfiction since I was a wee lass, however I've never actually posted anything, due to self consciousness and self doubt. But I've found that I'm not the only one who has the idea that Piers and Plumeria from the Pokemon franchise would be a cute or interesting couple, and for the sake of more of that content, I'm posting my first ever Fanficlet.
The title is called Snow (Hey Oh), as that's the song I was listening to when I wrote it. Enjoy some wintery fluff.
Piers woke up, feeling colder than usual, noting the lack of a certain body that otherwise should have been next to him. He blinked, adjusting his eyes to the darkness of the bedroom, and turned to face the clock on his nightstand, groaning at the time displayed: 5:07am. Much too early for anyone in this place to be awake. He pondered where his partner had gone, but the faint glow coming from under the threshold of the bedroom door instantly gave the answer. He groggily got up, grabbing his sleeping pants and shirt, dressing quickly before heading into the living room where, sure enough, the pink and yellow haired Alolan woman stood in her flannel pajamas and one of his basic hoodies, eyes glued to the window in the most innocent amazement he’s ever seen. “Yer up quite early luv.”
Plumeria whipped her head, almost dropping the hot cup of tea from her hands. “Shit, I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t wake you.” She whispered, a light blush upon her cheeks, returning her gaze to the scene outside, whatever it may be. Curious, Piers padded over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and letting his head rest on hers, a smile spreading across his face once he realized exactly what was so astonishing to the foreigner. Outside the world around them was quiet as snow fell from the skies above in soft, wispy flurries. If Piers had to guess, there was probably already a few inches blanketing the grounds below. It was a beautiful, maybe even picturesque scene; the first snowfall of winter. And he could see the amazement and wonder that Plumeria looked on with. It didn’t take him long to put one and one together.
“This ya first snowfall luv?” He asked, genuinely curious. Plumeria gave a small nod, sipping the tea.
“We don’t exactly have cold in the tropics, babe. The only snow that forms is on Mount Lanakila, and even then it’s not so much a seasonal thing as it is an atmospheric thing.” She nuzzled herself closer into him, enjoying his warmth. “It’s different,” she started to explain, pausing to find just the right words, “when it’s falling like this. Everything is so still, and it’s such a strange type of quiet.”
Piers hummed in agreement. “First snowfall of winter is usually the most peaceful one.”
“It’s beautiful.”
Piers kissed her cheek. “Not nearly as much as ya. But yeah, it’s pretty I s’pose.” It was quiet for a bit before Plumeria spoke next.
“I love you.” It was a confession she blurted at the strangest of times, but it gave his stomach butterfrees every time she said it. He hugged her harder, laughing alongside her, and kissed her temple before capturing her lips in his.
“I love ya too Plu.” They stayed there, just staring out the window and watching the snowfall, relenting only when the sun started to rise over the horizon. “Let’s head back to bed now, yeah?”
Plumeria nodded, yawning. “That’s probably a smart idea.” she mused, following him to their shared room, and then into the bed beside him. The serene silence of the snow lulling them fast asleep.
#pokemon#pokemon piers#piers pokemon#plumeria pokemon#pokemon nezu#piers x plumeria#ficlet#fanfic#crackship#pokemon swsh#pokemon sun and moon#romance#songfic
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Just a couple of Andor-related thoughts I need to get out of my head (don’t mind me :))
1) The sheer brilliance of having Maarva deliver her rousing speech from beyond the grave. If she did this while alive, the Empire would’ve been able to hurt her, break her. But what are you going to do to her now? She is already dead. She is a ghost. You can’t hurt her. (Also ties in beautifully with what Nemik says about freedom being an idea)
1a) Brasso using Maarva’s brick to hit an Imperial in the face was tacky and on the nose, and so, so satisfying.
1b) Kino Loy was the parallel to this. He knew he was already dead when they started the prison break. Once he realized they were not letting him go, he was dead. So, like Maarva, he went all in.
2) I still believe that Han shot first. On that note, there is no doubt that Cassian always shoots first. It is remarkable, how absolutely ruthless all the supposed good guys are. Cassian kills almost as an afterthought, he rarely knocks people out, he goes in for the kill and does it with terrifying efficiency - his first scene in Rogue One was not an exception stemming from desperate measures, it was his standard MO. Look at Skeen. Even at Maarva’s funeral, there is no scene of him stopping what he’s doing to listen to his mother’s last message. He just keeps going, because he has a job to do. Cassian looks hot and cute and burns with love for his friends, but he will not hesitate to end anyone in his way. Not for a second.
2a) Cassian is not the only one. Vel is pretty much the only person who does not have laser focus on the cause and everything else be damned. Luthen doesn’t even try to hide it. Kleya is so cold and calculating, she puts Luthen to shame. Mon acts high and mighty, but in the end, she throws her husband and her daughter under the bus. Cinta barely even looks at Vel when there is work to be done. And once again - this is the same franchise, which had Luke quitting his Jedi training and racing off to save his friends, which had Anakin abandoning all his beliefs for love. I have not seen every bit of SW media out there, so correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the sheer coldness and ruthlessness of Andor characters is unprecedented.
3) Cassian is not the hero of this story. He is the protagonist (or one of the protagonists, maybe?), but he is not the hero. I fully expected him to have a big moment in the finale, showing up, leading a riot maybe? But they went a different route, and one much more fitting to the character. When you think about it, in the end the Empire doesn’t even have proof that he actually was on Ferrix, except for what someone told them. Cassian stays hidden, ties up the loose ends, and slips out of Ferrix as if he had never been there.
This is an origin story, but not one of a hero. Cassian is not a leader, he never takes the front seat. He is the grey eminence, the person behind the Kino Loys and Jyn Ersos, not necessarily manipulating the leaders themselves, but pulling the strings, so that the leader figure can (that is, has the soldiers and a ship to go on Scarif) and will (that is, asking him is that the best you have to spur him on). From a writing standpoint, this is difficult to pull off, because a character like this is, by definition, not in the spotlight. But even though it wobbles slightly (for a show named after him, Cassian gets surprisingly little screen time and at the beginning he is rather passive protagonist), the writers come through in the end.
3a) Sometimes, I like to think that the titular “Andor” is actually Maarva.
4) Once again, I haven’t seen all the SW shows, but what I love about Andor is that they show us the Empire side of things. Not only the big players, the villains, but ordinary Imperial officers. And they are human. They have loyalty to each other, personalities, nagging mothers, obsessions, dreams. Even though they are still at core bad people, they are people. There is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it shot during the prison escape, when a bunch of guards is cowering in what looks like a utility cabinet, keeping as quiet as they can, sweating and trembling, while outside the door, the prisoners are running. You know Syrill - he is the guy which makes the hair on the back of your neck stand. For Dedra, I loved a little scene in one of the early episodes, where she was going over some reports with one of her underling, and the underling suggests that they can stay a little longer to work some more. She doesn’t bully him into staying late, she doesn’t even hint that he should. And yet he offers. A nameless, completely unimportant person shows agency, making him, with one line, more than an anonymous extra.
5) The irony in this show is something so darkly hilarious, I can’t help to chuckle at points. Sometimes it can be a little heavy-handed, like Nemik being literally killed by the stolen money or Cassian building parts of the Death Star, but this show has so many subtle ironic moments. Cassian taking part in the Aldhani heist, so that he can escape Ferrix with his mother, is exactly what motivates his mother to stay. The prisoners are able to orchestrate the escape, because the working program forces them into cooperating - you can see it, they work as a well-oiled machine. The Empire looking all over for a man who is sitting in one of their own prisons. And so on and so on...
5a) Syrill and Dedra are absolutely played as a twist of the stalker-y Twilight-y kind of romance, complete with the lines like I’d never lie to you and just being in your presence, I realized life was worth living. Look me in the eye and tell me that it is not straight out of a trashy romance - and Dedra reacts to him the way any sane woman would. That wasn’t a conversation, you were brought in for questioning. They are highlighting how creepy some of these romances are, and I am here for it.
5b) The irony, along with the main theme of the show (”the surprise from below”), climaxes beutifully in the finale. Everyone is so obsessed with Cassian, where he is and whether he is coming, that they don’t notice the rebellion brewing under their feet. Dedra says she wants a funeral, without realizing it is the last thing she needs. Even when it starts, she is running around, looking up where she thinks Cassian is, and not looking down. And for this exact reason, I think the most potentially dangerous antagonist in the show is Syrill. Because he is the only one who looks down, who recognizes the danger of Cassian Andor (partly because he is also one of the ordinary people). He is set up to be mocked, with his obsession with Dedra and his mundane job and his nagging mother, but I think that makes us overlook the terrifiying idea of what Syrill Karn would be like if he actually got the resources and authority to do something. Like Cassian said, power doesn’t panic, and who is the only Imperial in the riot who kept a cool head? Not Ice Queen Dedra, not the local officers, but wimpy-looking, played-for-laughs Syrill Karn. Dedra sees the big picture, can connect the dots where noone else can, and Syrill understands where to look for those dots. Those two together - terrifying. Without irony.
Anyway, rant over, move along.
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Maybe it's just me about sports in general, but it feels like fans are quicker to gloat about the players even though they've been contributing in other ways (on ice and off ice) when a team is struggling. Scenario: Team A is on a 10 game winning streak in November, all is good from the outside, every player is praised. But come February they hit a massive losing streak and the wheels come off: depth players are scapegoated despite all their efforts, players shuffled around the lineup with some not fitting in their new lines, chemistry is off and every player is getting blamed even unfairly. Then comes along the hindsight takes of should've kept this, should've traded for that when nobody has no clue whether the team would've been better off had they done that.
And while we're at it, is it unpopular to feel bad for BJC? Ever since Hextall protected him over Canner + signed his extension, the fanbase at least from Pens Twitter quickly soured on him when he couldn't sustain his hot start. A one year extension would've been more reasonable instead of two, I get why they wanted him exposed to Seattle instead, he's played decently but he's getting a lot of flak whenever the Pens are slumping. To quote a random post online I came across from a fan of another struggling team, it's easy to say that a team needs to replace a depth player (esp when he is an older player playing beyond his actual capabilities as a fill in for injury) even though he's not been bad, but fans wouldn't say that if the team is on a roll. Y*he tweeted out his pre-extension vs. since then which is why I shared this.
Hey sorry its been over a week. My brain was pretty broken when you sent this and then I forgot it existed because ADHD is like that sometimes. I’m gonna do my best to address some of what you said and my opinion on it.
it feels like fans are quicker to gloat about the players even though they've been contributing in other ways (on ice and off ice) when a team is struggling
I’m a little unsure what you mean here. Gloat is the word that’s throwing me off. I think you’re talking about fans talking shit, but usually when I think of the word gloat, I think of I told you sos or I was rights and I don’t really associate talking shit with gloating unless you’re saying I called it, I knew they’d be terrible. Currently Ren and I are gloating because we were right that the pens would figure their shit out and all we needed to fix the PK was for Teddy to come back from war. I’d consider shit talking a player gloating if you’re gloating about being right about someone sucking.
Sports fans are fickle. They’re quick to panic and quick to react. They’re quick to bet and quick to fold. A cold streak gets people scared really easily. A hot streak gets people euphoric in a way that makes it feel like we can never lose again. Hockey is an inherently silly sport. Ice is slippy. Sometimes bounces just don’t go your way. The Devils had a franchise record win-streak snap on Wednesday because of 3 no-goal reviews. Matt Murray technically got a shutout despite the puck hitting the back of the net. Shit happens. You gotta roll with the punches.
As for the scenario you outlined, that was basically the pens last season. We can what if and speculate but that’s all it is, speculation. The thing is you can’t stop fans from speculating. What ifs are a part of sports. So much of sports is up to chance that you can’t predict everything so well what if this happened or this happened or this happened. Its a talking point. Sports has a lot of those.
A thing I think that’s worth mentioning is that fans aren’t the only ones doing these sorts of talking. Reporters are people to and they’re some of the people driving the narratives. Of course they are, its their jobs. They’re paid by the word and by the click. The reason everyone was talking about Geno’s contract woes after R*ssi broke the story is because it was easy money in a slow offseason news cycle.
These people are paid to tell us stories, but that doesn’t mean they’re unbiased. I personally really like JFresh on twitter because he’s very up front about how ZAR is his emotional support defensive analytics darling. R*ssi has always been really up Geno’s ass and Y*he has always been weirdly hard. A lot of reporters like to be hard on players and call it tough love or objectivity and I’m like nah. I’d honestly prefer a reporter who tells you their favorite player than pretend they don’t have one. They’re fans with opinions too and if they view someone negatively then it will embolden some fans who are fickle.
is it unpopular to feel bad for BJC
I’d say no but I already talked about him vaguely here. Look you can’t make people say nice things about a player they’ve decided to hate. Look at how pensblr feels about archibald and desm*th. Pens twitter has decided to hate BJC and there’s not much you can do about that. You can’t make a worstie into a bestie even with the best playing. Plenty of ppl still don’t like Archibald despite the fact that he’s playing pretty good for us.
it's easy to say that a team needs to replace a depth player... even though he's not been bad, but fans wouldn't say that if the team is on a roll
Fans absolutely can and will. We’ve been on winning streaks and I’ve still criticized desm*th. He can get a shutout and I’d still think he’s a streaky goalie and we need someone with more consistency. People love to assign blame and find fault. The team being on a roll will quiet some of the opportunistic haters but it won’t quiet everyone and people will always talk shit. There’s always something someone could do better and those sorts of people will find it.
The best you can do is curate your online experience and block people. You are not obligated to give everyone the time of day or every thought the same amount of weight. If all they post is negativity about BJC and they don’t have a nice thing to say then what is the point of continuing to listen to them? They obviously aren’t going to change their mind so why keep giving them space and a platform. Its not even worth it to argue because arguing online is using your own platform to give them more visibility. This is why people who send Anon hate won’t block you first, they want you to platform their assholishness and validate them by responding publicly, by getting upset.
If this is making you mad, then take steps to remove yourself from it. I’ve got ppl in hockeyblr blocked because they wouldn’t have a nice word to say about the pens if it killed them. I’ve got ppl in pensblr blocked because I didn’t like how they talked about players and fellow fans and I didn’t want to see it on my dash. Curation of online experiences is hard, but if something is making you mad or angry, you can take steps to distance yourself from it. Its kind of the same principle as don’t like, don’t read, but for the shit people say online.
#asks answered#anonymous#if the things other fans are saying gets you down#you should block them#no one is entitled to your time or attention#sports churns out a lot of content#like so much content#its not just games there's so much around the game too#one of the healthiest things I did was realize that I didn't have to engage in all of it#I can ignore some reporters#I don't have to watch every interview#if the team is playing badly I can just skip games#choosing when and where to interact can be so healthy for you#I went into super extra hiatus this summer because choosing not to interact with pensblr after the pre-free agency was the best thing for me
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About the Boueibu iceberg
@delphoxqueen asked me to explain about my list for the iceberg so here it is. I might update this from time to time with links and stuff if I stumble across the original posts. This is all from what I know so feel free to add new info. Also, spoiler warning for RobiHachi and the Boueibu manga and novels. (This is like a masterpost it’s very long)
1. There’s a theory in tumblr about which decade the series is set in, using data like the friday the 13th calendar in s2 ep11. In HK we got a second number for when the next monthly Pretty Boy Contest was happening and using the one from Love it was theorized that around a decade had passed since then, which ended up being true.
2. The stage play had a few original songs and characters exclusive to it so unless you watched the full performance, you probably weren’t able to witness all of them. One of the characters is called “Robato Deniro”, as romanized in the stage play booklet I own.
3. The nurse and the cafeteria staff from the s1 mobile game appear in the background in around the first half of s2 ep3.
4. S2 had an unfinished manga that was only available online and was never released on physical format; it was centered around the defense club and sometimes the conquest club and Beppu brothers. All that’s left from what I know are the scans linked on magicalgirlsandcerulean’s blog.
5. This isn’t that obscure because it’s talked about in the anime, but I’m mentioning it because I think many people dropped it before the ova, where right at the beginning it is revealed that the alien that resucitated Mr. Tawarayama twice was, as described by Io, a “mulberry-colored naked mole rat-looking thing”, and was nicknamed “Moley-san” by Yumoto. At least in the anime, we had never heard before of who this was and it never appeared on screen nor was mentioned again.
6. In HK ep8, Karurusu promises the knights to grant a wish if they show him how earthlings spend summer. Kyoutarou reveals at the end of the episode that he wished that summer lasted one more day so he could spend it doing nothing, which prompts Ichiro to theorize that it’s the 32nd of august, and the next day is the second 1st of september.
7. The stage play was was held from march 10th to 13rd, of which the latter is Ryuu’s birthday. There’s an additional recording of a small celebration with cake focused on Ryuu and Io.
8. Atsushi mentions his older sister in the flashback at the beginning of s1 ep4, but she never appears or is mentioned again.
9. There’s a few posts on tumblr theorizing about what happened to the Hakone parents since Yumoto only says in s2 ep3 that according to Gora, “they are busy with their hot springs tour”. En mentions that it’s a bit suspicious, but it’s all the information we have from the anime. Posts talk about the parents perhaps passing away from an accident or an illness, thus the reason why Gora was so worried about Yumoto’s cold in s1 ep10, but from another post I think it’s implied in the second novel that they actually left their home when Yumoto was still a toddler.
10. It’s no secret that the surnames of the characters are all real onsens in Japan that even the seiyuus have visited, but apparently the Arima onsen has two different kinds of water, “kinsen (gold hot spring)” and “ginsen (silver hot spring)”, with different properties each, and the Kusatsu onsen water also has certain properties, both that were used to build the characters. Additionally, Ryuu’s favorite food are Sato Nishiki cherries, which are grown in the same prefecture, Yamagata, as his onsen, Zaou.
11. The press club lose relevance after s1, with only Kinosaki and Tazawa reappearing briefly in s2 ep2 to interview the Beppu twins after they arrive at the school. Tazawa doesn’t even have lines. Hireashi is mentioned by Zundar in ep11.
12. What the heck
13. Exclusively in the manga we see that Arima met Kinshiro and Atsushi when they were little and they were good friends, but when they met again as adults, Kinshiro seemingly didn’t remember Arima. Atsushi, however, stated that Kinshiro’s talent is remembering people’s faces and names, so Arima wonders if he’s just trying to distance himself from him. He also explains to Akoya that he follows Kinshiro and obeys him because as a child, he was fascinated by his radiant smile. This is never talked about in the anime.
14. Like the previous point, the anime never shows Akoya being bullied, at most just a slight dislike of his full name, but the manga shows that he was made fun of for it and how he actually hates his surname, to the point of introducing himself formally to the president and vicepresident of the student council as “Holy Angel Akoya”.
15, 16, 17, 19. Batonama lives were the livestreams done through the franchise by the defense club seiyuus on youtube and niconico. They’re all on youtube, without any kind of translation.
Love-ko is a girl with a shell bikini drawn on a piece of cardboard that was used as a girlfriend in the Batonama Love! lives, acted by the seiyuus themselves.
RobiHachi has one episode full of official Boueibu artwork and a parody of the series too, a Love-ko doll appears, and Wombat appears as well, named “The Don”. It received an english dub, so for a bit, people were excited that Wombat was going to speak in english too. Also, various mechas appear in both Boueibu and RobiHachi.
18. The director of Fairy Ranmaru (Masakazu Hishida if I’m not wrong) revealed in an interview that he was inspired by Boueibu and aimed to make a show like that.
20, 21. The website super-groupies.com has results for defense and conquest club lingerie sets, dc and VEPPer tote bags, the Beppus’ scarf rings, dc bath sets and the pumps magicalgirlsandcerulean mentioned. I’ve found the s1 Loveracelets and Caerula Adamas’ ring on different sites, the True Loveracelets on TheChara’s twitter and the Happybraces (apparently called “Hapibure”) on broccoli.co.jp but I’m not sure where exactly they were all announced and sold, so I’ll just drop that.
22, 33. Boueibu was originally pretty much a copy of Sailor Moon, I think they were all going to be called “Lackluster Moon” and that stuff and be literally Sailor Moon genderbent. They were all different from color palettes to physical features (except Yumoto’s), and Ryuu was a shota, even smaller than Yumoto. Their names were also very reminiscent of the five Sailor Senshis’. Even if they made it more original, the show is still clearly inspired by Sailor Moon (just look at Caerula Adamas lol) and Pretty Cure. It has also referenced, very blatantly, animes like Doraemon, Detective Conan, Aikatsu and even Vocaloid, when Kyoutarou tries to guess what Karurusu is saying with ““Just Google It, Asshole”?” in ep1.
23. Wombat’s real name and the name of his planet sound like gibberish to the earthlings and ends up being named after the Earth animal, but Zundar, Dadacha, Karurusu and Furanui all have original names. And I think Hireashi means “goldfish”?
24. If you google “zundar technology”, it’s actually a company in Shanghai, China. Aren’t Wombat and Zundar always talking about “advanced alien technology”?
25. Zundar and Dadacha are siblings, so are Karurusu and Furanui, and so are their father King Kamopapa and their uncle minister Wao, but neither are the same species and, except the first two, not even the same color. But they are supposedly related because they share birthmarks or something like that...
26. Everyone who’s in this fandom knows about the pixel blur and voice pitch censor from s1, but I’ve added it anyway because it’s so rare for mahou shoujo and shounen animes to explain why the heroes aren’t recognized when transformed.
27. A good while of s2 ep11 is spent discussing Zundar’s ex-wife and his problems to give child support. Naturally, he gets mad at this.
28. “Money doesn’t betray” (s1 ep6) and “The despair hidden behind your smile that comes from not being understood” (s3 ep11) are sentences that came out of nowhere and implied that the people they were said by (Io) or about (Taiju) respectively had some kind of angst going on but were never explained at all. They’re famous for just that.
29. The Beppu twins’ house in Andromeda shown in flashbacks had strange green circles that apparently are from another anime I don’t know but honestly I didn’t get it very well... It was revealed on a tweet from Takamatsu.
30. Alien language mostly appeared in s2 due to the many flashbacks of Aki and Haru in Andromeda, but in Boueibu s1, it appears on the Zundar Needle before it is shot on the human. It appears a lot through RobiHachi as well, due to being a story about travelling through space. There might be an alphabetical chart somewhere, but I can’t assure it exists, I might even have dreamed it.
31. Hikaru Midorikawa as the melon monster, Kousuke Toriumi as the bishounen monster, Yoshitsugu Matsuoka as the kotatsu and panda monsters and Takuya Eguchi as the remote controller monster in s1 and 2, before going on to voice the main cast in HK. Keisuke Koumoto voiced Hatchi Kita in RobiHachi as well as Akihiko in Boueibu, and the characters look similar.
A new addition is that so far Boueibu is the only anime I’ve seen where children weren’t voiced by female seiyuus, but by actual children. Personally, it’s charming and makes it so much more realistic, specifically since no women appear in the franchise at all either (not counting Protag-chan in the game).
32. Speaking of seiyuus, Can I Destroy The Earth? had a dub shown in ep11/12 (?) that made Gora the villain that wanted Earth to stay the same and not progress, against the monsters that supposedly wanted to bring good things to earthlings. Aki and Haru quickly dismissed this dub as fake. (I made a mistake in the title in the previous post btw)
34. As seen in the glossary in the Boueibu Mook (I think, but might not be the mook), Caerula Adamas’ speeches are based on an old japanese detergent commercial that went “Gold, silver, pearl, gift”.
35. In the manga there’s a short parody of the first chapter of Sailor Moon with “Pretty Boy Guardian Gakuran Akoya”. The conquest club manga was released before the anime, so I remember reading somewhere that a fake website appeared for the Gakuran Akoya manga, before turning into the conquest club manga website in the day of its release.
36. Cgi was used a few times in the anime: s2 ep10 for a short sequence of the defense club on a rollercoaster and the carousel monster, ep11 for a cenital shot of the Battle Lovers singing, and HK ep12 for the Honyalaland soldiers and the Wao mecha.
37. The toothbrush incident in s1 ep7. (It’s definitely well-known but it’s so weird lol)
38. “We hope we can see each other again someday!” Something along those lines was the last text to appear in the last episode of HK, implying a s2. We all know how that went.
#boueibu#new post bc i didn't put a readmore in the other one and it was getting too long#msorry#long post#speaking of the robihachi eng dub... sarazanmai has one too...#so many animes like those get dubs but not boueibu?! HOW UNFAIR#at least we got the funimation subs#is the game even canon??#i mean with stuff like how everyone is apparently straight in there#even yumoto who pretty much came out as gay in the anime#that's very inconsistent#i mean. it is canon but maybe it's like an au? idk#also we need gakuran akoya to be real lmao#also no prequel with gora or hk s2. WHYYYY#i think this took me four hours
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So, I don't think I've ever asked you this... what IS the whole point of the Spider-Sense? It really seems like something that only exists for writers to ignore or work around when they want to inject Legit Tension into a story.
I’ve thought about this power so much, but never with an eye to defend its right to exist, so I needed to think about this. The results could be more concise.
Ironically, given the question, I have to say its main purpose is to ramp up tension. But it’s also a highly variable multitool that a skilled creative team can use for...pretty much anything. It does everything the writer wants it to, while for its wielder always falls just short of doing enough.
I went looking through my photos for a really generic, classic-looking example to use as an image to head this topic, but then I ran into the time Peter absolutely did not reimburse this man for his stolen McDonald’s, so have that instead.
A Scare Chord, But You Can Draw It
That one post that says the spider-sense is just super-anxiety isn’t, like, wrong. It’s a very anxious, dramatic storytelling tool originally designed for a very anxious, dramatic protagonist. I find it speaks to the overall tone of the franchise that some characters are functionally psychics, but with a psychic ability that only points out problems.
Spidey sense pinging? There’s danger, be stressed! Broken? Now the lead won’t even KNOW when there’s a problem, scary! Single character is immune to it? That’s an invisible knife in the dark oh my god what the fuck what the fU--
Like its counterpart in garden variety anxiety, the only time the spider-sense reduces tension is in the middle of a crisis. But in the wish fulfillmenty way that you want in an adventure story to justify exaggerated action sequences, the same way enhanced strength or durability does. Also like those, it would theoretically make someone much safer to have it, but it exists in the story to let your character navigate into and weather more dangerous situations.
For its basic role in a story, a danger sense is a snappy way to rile up both the reader and the protagonist that doesn’t offer much information beyond that it’s time to sit smart because shit is about to go down.
Spidey comic canon is all over the board in quality and genre, and it started needing to subvert its formulas before the creators got a handle on what those formulas even were, and basically no one has read anything approaching most of it at this point, so for consistent examples of a really bare bones use of this power in storytelling, I’d point to the property that’s done the best job yet of boiling down the mechanics of Spider-Man to their absolute most basic essentials for adaptation to a compelling monster of the week TV series.
Or as you probably know it, Danny Phantom. DON’T BOO, I’M RIGHT.
DP is Spider-Man with about 2/3 of the serial numbers filed off and no death (ironically), and Danny’s ghost sense is the most proof in the formula example of what the spidey sense is for: It’s a big sign held up for the viewer that says, “Something is wrong! Pay attention!” Effectively a visual scare chord. It’s about That Drama. And it works, which won it a consistent place in the show’s formula. We’re talking several times an episode here.
So why does it work?
It’s a little counterintuitive, but it’s strong storytelling to tell your audience that something bad is going to happen before it does. A vague, punchy spoiler transforms the ignorant calm before a conflict into a tense moment of anticipation. ...And it makes sure people don’t fail to absorb the beginning of said conflict because they weren’t prepared to shift gears when the scene did. Shock is a valuable tool, too, but treating it like a staple is how you burn out your audience instead of keeping them engaged. Not to go after an easy target, but you need to know how to manage your audience’s alarm if you don’t want to end up like Game of Thrones.
The limits of the spider-sense also keep you on your toes when handled by a smart writer. It tells Peter (everyone’s is a little different, so I’m going to cite the og) about threats to his person, but it doesn’t elaborate with any details when it’s not already obvious why, what kind, and from what. And it doesn’t warn him about anything else-- Which is a pretty critical gap when you zoom out and look at his hero career’s successes and failures and conclude that it’s definitely why he’s lived as long as he has acting the way he does, but was useless as he failed to save a string of people he’d have much rather had live on than him.
(Any long-running superhero mythos has these incidents, but with Peter they’re important to the core themes.)
And since this power is by plot for plot (or because it’s roughly agreed it only really blares about threats that check at least two boxes of being major, immediate, or physical), it always kicks in enough to register when the danger is bearing down...when it’s too late to actually do anything about it if “anything” is a more complex action than “dodge”.
Really? Not until the elevator doors started to open?
That Distinctive, Crunchy Spider Flavor
The spider-sense and its little pen squiggles go hand in hand with wallcrawling (and its unique and instantly identifiable associated body language) to make the Spider-Person powerset enduringly iconic and elevate characters with it from being generic mid-level super-bricks. Visually, but also in how it shapes the story.
I said it can share a narrative role with super strength. But when you end a fight and go home, super strength continues to make your character feel powerful, probably safer than they’d be otherwise, maybe dangerous.
The spider-sense just keeps blaring, “Something’s wrong! Something’s wrong! God, why aren’t you doing something about this!?”
Pretty morose thing to live with, for a safety net! Kind of a double edged sword you have there! Could be constantly being hyperattuned to problems would prime you for a negative outlook on life. Kind of seems like a power that would make it impossible for a moral person to take a day off, leading them into a beleaguered and resentful yet dutiful attitude about the whole superhero gig! Might build up to some of the core traits of this mythos, maybe! Might lead to a lot of fifteen minute retirement stories, or something. Might even be a built in ‘great responsibility’ alarm that gets you a main character who as a rule is not going to stop fighting until he physically cannot fight anymore.
Certainly not apropos of anything, just throwing this short lived barely-a-joke tagline up for fun.
One of my personal favorite things about stories with superpowers is keeping in mind how they cause the people who have them to act in unusual ways outside of fights, so when you tell me that these people have an entire extra sense that tells them when the gas in their house is leaking through a barely useful hot/cold warning system that never turns off, I’m like, eyes emojis, popcorn out, notebook open, listening intently, spectacles on, the whole deal.
It also contributes to Peter Parker’s personality in a way I really enjoy: It allows him to act like an irrational maniac. When you know exactly when a situation becomes dangerous and how much, normal levels of caution go out the window and absolutely nothing you do makes sense from an exterior standpoint anymore. That’s the good shit. I would like to see more exploration of how the non-Parker characters experiencing the world in this incredibly altered way bounce in response.
It’s also one of many tools in this franchise hauling the reader into relating more closely with the main character. The backbone of classic Spidey is probably being in on secrets only Peter and the reader know which completely reframe how one views the situation on the page. It’s just a big irony mine for the whole first decade. A convenient way to inform the reader and the lead that something is bad news that’s not perceivable to any other characters is youth-with-a-big-exciting-secret catnip.
Another point for tension, there, in that being aware of danger is not synonymous with being able to act on it. If there’s no visible reason for you to be acting strange, well...you’re just going to have to sit tight and sweat, aren’t you? Some gratuitous head wiggles never hurt when setting up that type of conflict.
Have I mentioned that they look cool? Simultaneously punchy and distinctive, with a respectable amount of leeway for artists to get creative with and still coming up with something easily recognizable? And pretty easy to intuit the meaning of even without the long-winded explanations common in the days when people wrote comics with the intent that someone could come in cold on any random issue and follow along okay, I think, although the mechanic has been deeply ingrained in popular culture for so long that I can’t really say for sure.
It was also useful back in the day when no artists drew the eyes on the Spider-Man mask as emoting and were conveying the lead’s expressions entirely through body language and panel composition. If you wiggle enough squiggles, you don’t need eyebrows.
Take This Handwave and Never Ask Me a Logistical Question Again
This ability patches plot holes faster than people can pick them open AND it can act as an excuse to get any plot rolling you can think of if paired with one meddling protagonist who doesn’t know how to mind their own business. Buy it now for only $19.99 (in four installments; that’s four installments of $19.99).
Why can a teenager win a six on one fight against other superhumans? Well, the spider-sense is the ultimate edge in combat, duh.
Why can Peter websling? Why doesn’t everyone websling? Well, the spider-sense is keeping him from eating flagpole when he violently flings himself across New York in a way neither man nor spider was ever meant to move.
How are we supposed to get him involved with the plot this week???? Well, that crate FELT dangerous, so he’s going to investigate it. Oh, dip, it was full of guns and radioactive snakes! Probably shouldn’t have opened that!
Yeah, okay, but why isn’t it fixing everything, then? Isn’t it supposed to be why Peter has never accidentally unmasked in front of somebody? ('Nother entry for this section, take a shot.) That’s crazy sensitive! How does he still have any problems!? Is everything bad that’s ever happened to characters with this powerset bad writing!? --Listen, I think as people with uncanny senses that can tell us whether we are in danger with accuracy that varies from incredible to approximate (I am talking about the five senses that most people have), we should all know better than to underestimate our ability to tune them out or interpret them wrong and fuck ourselves up anyway. I honestly find this part completely realistic.
*SLAPS ROOF OF SPIDER-SENSE* YOU CAN FIT SO MANY STORIES IN THIS THING
The spider-sense is a clean branch into...whatever. There is the exact right balance of structure and wishy-washiness to build off of. A sample selection of whatevers that have been built:
It’s sci-fi and spy gadgets when Peter builds technology that can interface with it.
It’s quasi-mystical when Kaine and Annie-May get stronger versions of it that give them literal psychic visions, or when you want to get mythological and start talking about all the spider-characters being part of a grand web of fate.
Kaine loses his and it becomes symbolic of a future newly unbound by constraints, entangled thematically with the improved physical health he picked up at the same time -- a loss presented as a gain.
Peter loses his and almost dies 782 times in one afternoon because that didn’t make the people he provoked when he had it stop trying to kill him, and also because he isn’t about to start “””taking the subway’’””’ “‘’“”to work”””’’” like some kind of loser who doesn’t get a heads up when he’s about to hit a pigeon at 50mph.
Peter’s starts tuning into his wife’s anxiety and it’s a tool in a relationship study.
It starts pinging whenever Peter’s near his boss who’s secretly been replaced by a shapeshifter and he IGNORES IT because his boss is enough of an asshole that that doesn’t strike him as weird; now it’s a comedy/irony tool.
Into the Spider-Verse made it this beautiful poetic thing connecting all the spider-heroes in the multiverse and stacked up a story on it about instant connection, loss, and incredibly unlikely strangers becoming a found family. It was also aesthetic as FUCK. Remember the scene where Miles just hears barely intelligible whispering that’s all lines people say later in the film and then his own voice very clearly says “look out” and then the room explodes?? Fuck!!!!
Venom becomes immune to it after hitchhiking to Earth in Peter’s bone juice and it makes him a unique threat while telling a more-homoerotic-than-I-assume-was-originally-intended story about violation and how close relationships can be dangerous when they go sour.
It doesn’t work on people you trust for maximum soap opera energy. Love the innate tragedy of this feature coming up.
IN CONCLUSION I don’t have much patience for writers who don’t take advantage of it, never mind feel they need to write around it.
#spiderman#peter parker#spiderverse#spidey#marvel#danny phantom#one day you'll see what i'm doing with it in the project i'm collabing on w/ my brother and then you'll all be sorry and hopefully impresse#mirrorfalls#asks answered#essays
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TFA Shocks? Or tfa Sari =3
Tfa shockwave thoughts
First impression
Would it be bad to say I was actually kinda fooled by him </3
I knew shockwave existed but somehow managed to not spoil myself abt the longarm part so im watching TFA like "wow longarm is so nice to bumblebee I like him :]]!!!" then the end of the episode i :0,,
So. I may be stupid
Impression now
Hes one of my top 3 favorite characters babyyyyyyyy!!!! I adore his design (i have a huge bias towards any design that had funky obscured/lack of facial features + its rlly cool just how monstrous he is) and i think he's got the potential to be very interesting!!
I just think he's a emo nerd (with severe gifted student problems) and that's pretty neat :]
(except the gifted student problems. thats not so neat)
I also simply don't see any interpretation of him that doesnt fit the way I see him <3
Favorite moment
I think his moments in Autoboot Camp a lot, he's genuinely nice to bee!! That's not a facade he put up (he defends bee when wasp was like "way to go numbnodes", helps him out of the locker, etc)
Idk despite whatever the Allspark Almanac or fandom interprets Shocks, hes not a cold heartless deceiver and the small details from this episode rlly show that
Also think his bumbling attempts to try to preserve his identity are funny, what a dork
Idea for a story
i would love to see a redemption arc for my man!!!! I want him to be able to move past his need for approval (especially from ppl like megatron) and find a sense of self worth for himself!!
I think he were given the chance to leave the decepticons, he would be end up being a neutral since he has personally witnessed the fucked up shit the Autobot government is up to. And then he could maybe like dedicate himself in trying to overthrow this corrupt government, not for the decepticons this time. Or maybe he can just finally do whatever he wants to do and pursue a career in the sciences
(Also it would be cool if he changed his eye color to yellow to indicate his departure from the faction)
Unpopular opinion
I HATE SADISTIC ASSHOLE SHOCKWAVE :[!!! it's just... Not fun?? At all??? Especially when a lot of that sadism is directed towards blurr
And also I think that Shockwave is not an old creepy man, I'm pretty sure there is never any mention of him in of being in the war ever in any media?? So I think he.. was not around during that
Now I'm gonna really rock the boat here and say I hc him as younger than Bumblebee (but not by much!! Hes like the equivalent of a couple months or year younger than bee). I just think it's a little funny ok?? Shockwave's like "ur just simply not mature enough to understand bumblebee" and bee is "IM OLDER THAN U >:["
Favorite relationship
Shockbee.. shockbee good. I think their interactions in Autoboot Camp are rlly sweet and their dynamic is fun!! Emo nerd and lil trouble man holding hands... very cool
Favorite headcanon
I constantly think about how Shockwave's first instinct while panicking is just. Violence
So like... What if he was conditioned as a decepticon to just to resort to violence if things go really South??? I can only imagine that while he was becoming friends with Bee he was thinking in his head "THIS IS NOT OK. THIS IS NOT OK. IM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM. I HAVE TO KILL HIM"
This ... Is not healthy btw. This is a shockwave problem moment. hope he gets well soon,,,,,,,,,
Sari Sumdac thoughts
First impression
I was a little worried she was going to be an annoying human character :[ unrelated to that I recognized tara strong and was like "TWILIGHT SPAR-"
Impression now
She's definitely one of the best human characters I've seen so far in the tf franchise!! I like her and I hope good things happen for her <3
Favorite moment
I think abt how she says "if u wanna mess with my city ur gonna go through ME first" like hell yeah u go girl!!!!!
also love how the autobots take care of her when her dad went missing, like bro... They're family..
The BEST family moment though was when she finally broke down from the stress and grief of losing her dad and not having any record of her identity and then bumblebee picks her up and is like "it's ok!! cry as much as u need to, we'll always be there for you" and GOD THATS SO SWEET IT GENUINELY MAKES ME TEAR UP
Idea for a story
Ok I know I kinda already did this with the seinfeld fic comic but I would love to see a much more genuine look into about how she realizes that she's a lesbian by being around the autobots, since they're from a homonormative society, and then they're like "HELL YEAH!! CONGRATS ON UR LESBIAN"
and maybe they all go together to a pride event or smth
Unpopular opinion
I don't think I have any unpopular opinions?? Wish ppl respected her skin tone more maybe
Favorite relationship
Still haven't finished tfp but I love seeing Sari x Miko... Very cute <3
Favorite headcanon
I once joked with my friends about how she has a inhuman tolerance to spicy foods as a result of being Indian and also part robot.
She carries those mini siracha bottles And also makes lesbian earrings out of those bottles!!
On the completely opposite side of the spectrum, Bee has little to none spice tolerance so he's bawling his eyes out while Sari is pouring more hot sauce on her food
#transformers#tfa shockwave#tfa#sari sumdac#transformers animated#shockwave#// long post#thoughts moments
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2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 3)
10. WOLFWALKERS – eleven years ago, Irish director Tomm Moore exploded onto the animated cinema scene with The Secret of Kells, a spellbinding feature debut which captivated audiences the world over and even garnered an Oscar nomination. Admittedly I didn’t actually even know about it until I discovered his work through his astonishing follow-up, Song of the Sea (another Academy Award nominee), in 2015, so when I finally caught it I was already a fan of Moore’s work. It’s been a similarly long wait for his third feature, but he’s genuinely pulled off a hat-trick, delivering a third flawless film in a row which OF COURSE means that his latest feature is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my top animated feature of 2020. I could even be tempted to say it’s his best work to date … this is an ASTONISHING film, a work of such breath-taking, spell-binding beauty that I spent its entire hour and three-quarters glued to the screen, simple mesmerised by the wonder and majesty of this latest iteration of the characteristically stylised “Cartoon Saloon” look. It’s also liberally steeped in Moore’s trademark Celtic vibe and atmosphere, once again delving deep into his homeland’s rich and evocative cultural history and mythology while also bringing us something far more original and personal – this time the titular supernatural beings are magical near-human beings whose own subconscious can assume the form of very real wolves. Set in a particularly dark time in Irish history – namely 1650, when Oliver Cromwell was Lord Protector – the story follows Robyn (Honor Kneafsey, probably best known for the Christmas Prince films), the impetuous and spirited young daughter of English hunter Bill Goodfellowe (Sean Bean), brought in by the Protectorate to rid the city of Kilkenny of the wolves plaguing the area. One day fate intervenes and Robyn meets Mebh Og MacTire (The Girl at the End of the Garden‘s Eve Whittaker), a wild girl living in the woods, whose accidental bite gives her strange dreams in which she becomes a wolf – turns out Mebh is a wolfwalker, and now so is Robyn … every aspect of this film is an utter triumph for Moore and co, who have crafted a work of living, breathing cinematic art that’s easily the equal to (if not even better than) the best that Disney, Dreamworks or any of the other animation studios could create. Then there’s the excellent voice cast – Bean brings fatherly warmth and compassion to the role that belies his character’s intimidating size, while Kneafsey and Whittaker make for a sweet and sassy pair as they bond in spite of powerful cultural differences, and the masterful Simon McBurney (Harry Potter, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) brings cool, understated menace to the role of Cromwell himself. This is a film with plenty of emotional heft to go with its marvels, and once again displays the welcome dark side which added particular spice to Moore’s previous films, but ultimately this is still a gentle and heartfelt work of wonder that makes for equally suitable viewing for children as for those who are still kids at heart – ultimately, then, this is another triumph for one of the most singularly original filmmakers working in animation today, and if Wolfwalkers doesn’t make it third time lucky come Oscars-time then there’s no justice in the world …
9. WONDER WOMAN 1984 – probably the biggest change for 2020 compared to pretty much all of the past decade is how different the fortunes of superhero cinema turned out to be. A year earlier the Marvel Cinematic Universe had dominated all, but the DC Extended Universe still got a good hit in with big surprise hit Shazam! Fast-forward to now and things are VERY different – DC suddenly came out in the lead, but only because Marvel’s intended heavy-hitters (two MCU movies, the first Venom sequel and potential hot-shit new franchise starter Morbius: the Living Vampire) found themselves continuously pushed back thanks to (back then) unforeseen circumstances which continue to shit all over our theatre-going slate for the immediate future. In the end DC’s only SERIOUS competition turned out to be NETFLIX … never mind, at least we got ONE big established superhero blockbuster into the cinemas before the end of the year that the whole family could enjoy, and who better to headline it than DC’s “newest” big screen megastar, Diana Prince? Back in 2017 Monster’s Ball director Patty Jenkins’ monumental DCEU standalone spectacularly realigned the trajectory of a cinematic franchise that was visibly flagging, redesigning the template for the series’ future which has since led to some (mostly) consistently impressive subsequent offerings. Needless to say it was a damn tough act to follow, but Jenkins and co-writers Geoff Johns (Arrow and The Flash) and David Callaham (The Expendables, Zombieland: Double Tap, future MCU entry Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings) have risen to the challenge in fine style, delivering something which pretty much equals that spectacular franchise debut … as has Gal Gadot, who’s now OFFICIALLY made the role her own thanks to yet another showstopping and definitive performance as the unstoppable Amazonian goddess living amongst us. She’s older and wiser than in the first film, but still hasn’t lost that forthright honesty and wonderfully pure heart we’ve come to love ever since her introduction in Zack Snyder’s troublesome but ultimately underrated Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (yes, that’s right, I said it!), and Gadot’s clear, overwhelming commitment to the role continues to pay off magnificently as she once again proves that Diana is THE VERY BEST superhero in the DCEU cinematic pantheon. Although it takes place several decades after its predecessor, WW84 is, obviously, still very much a period piece, Jenkins and co this time perfectly capturing the sheer opulent and over-the-top tastelessness of the 1980s in all its big-haired, bad-suited, oversized shoulder-padded glory while telling a story that encapsulates the greedy excessiveness of the Reagan era, perfectly embodied in the film’s nominal villain, Max Lord (The Mandalorian himself, Pedro Pascal), a wishy-washy wannabe oil tycoon conman who chances upon a supercharged wish-rock and unleashes a devastating supernatural “monkey’s paw” upon the world. To say any more would give away a whole raft of spectacular twists and turns that deserve to be enjoyed good and cold, although they did spoil one major surprise in the trailer when they teased the return of Diana’s first love, Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) … needless to say this is another big blockbuster bursting with big characters, big action and BIG IDEAS, just what we’ve come to expect after Wonder Woman’s first triumphant big screen adventure. Interestingly, the film starts out feeling like it’s going to be a bubbly, light, frothy affair – after a particularly stunning all-action opening flashback to Diana’s childhood on Themyscira, the film proper kicks off with a bright and breezy atmosphere that feels a bit like the kind of Saturday morning cartoon action the consistently impressive set-pieces take such unfettered joy in parodying, but as the stakes are raised the tone grows darker and more emotionally potent, the storm clouds gathering for a spectacularly epic climax that, for once, doesn’t feel too overblown or weighed down by its visual effects, while the intelligent script has unfathomable hidden depths to it, making us think far more than these kinds of blockbusters usually do. It’s really great to see Chris Pine return since he was one of the best things about the first movie, and his lovably childlike wide-eyed wonder at this brave new world perfectly echoes Diana’s own last time round; Kristen Wiig, meanwhile, is pretty phenomenal throughout as Dr Barbara Minerva, the initially geeky and timid nerd who discovers an impressive inner strength but ultimately turns into a superpowered apex predator as she becomes one of Wonder Woman’s most infamous foes, the Cheetah; Pascal, of course, is clearly having the time of his life hamming it up to the hilt as Lord, playing gloriously against his effortlessly cool, charismatic action hero image to deliver a compellingly troubling examination of the monstrous corrupting influence of absolute power. Once again, though, the film truly belongs to Gadot – she looks amazing, acts her socks off magnificently, and totally rules the movie. After this, a second sequel is a no-brainer, because Wonder Woman remains the one DC superhero who’s truly capable of bearing the weight of this particular cinematic franchise on her powerful shoulders – needless to say, it’s already been greenlit, and with both Jenkins and Gadot onboard, I’m happy to sign up for more too …
8. LOVE & MONSTERS – with the cinemas continuing their frustrating habit of opening for a little while and then closing while the pandemic ebbed and flowed in the months after the summer season, it was starting to look like there might not have been ANY big budget blockbusters to enjoy before year’s end as heavyweights like Black Widow, No Time To Die and Dune pulled back to potentially more certain release slots into 2021 (with only WW84 remaining stubbornly in place for Christmas). Then Paramount decided to throw us a bone, opting to release this post-apocalyptic horror comedy on-demand in October instead, thus giving me the perfect little present to tie me over during the darkening days of autumn. The end result was a stone-cold gem that came out of nowhere to completely blow critics away, a spectacular sleeper hit that ultimately proved one of the year’s biggest and most brilliant surprises. Director Michael Matthews may only have had South African indie thriller Five Fingers for Marseilles under his belt prior to this, but he proves he’s definitely a solid talent to watch in the future, crafting a fun and effective thrill-ride that, like all the best horror comedies, is consistently as funny as it is scary, sharing much of the same DNA as this particular mash-up genre’s classics like Tremors and Zombieland and standing up impressively well to such comparisons. The story, penned by rising star Brian Duffield (who has TWO other entries on this list, Underwater and Spontaneous) and Matthew Robinson (The Invention of Lying, Dora & the Lost City of Gold), is also pretty ingenious and surprisingly original – a meteorite strike has unleashed weird mutagenic pathogens that warp various creepy crawly critters into gigantic monstrosities that have slaughter most of the world’s human population, leaving only a beleaguered, dwindling few to eke out a precarious living in underground colonies. Living in one such makeshift community is Joel Dawson (The Maze Runner’s Dylan O’Brien), a smart and likeable geek who really isn’t very adventurous, is extremely awkward and uncoordinated, and has a problem with freezing if threatened … which makes it all the more inexplicable when he decides, entirely against the advice of everyone he knows, to venture onto the surface so he can make the incredibly dangerous week-long trek to the neighbouring colony where his girlfriend Aimee (Iron Fist’s Jessica Henwick) has ended up. Joel is, without a doubt, the best role that O’Brien has EVER had, a total dork who’s completely unsuited to this kind of adventure and, in the real world, sure to be eaten alive in the first five minutes, but he’s also such a fantastically believable, fallible everyman that every one of us desperate, pathetic omega-males and females can instantly put ourselves in his place, making it elementarily easy to root for him. He’s also hilariously funny, his winningly self-deprecating sass and pitch perfect talent for physical comedy making it all the more rewarding watching each gloriously anarchic life-and-death encounter mould him into the year’s most unlikely action hero. Henwick, meanwhile, once again impresses in a well-written role where she’s able to make a big impression despite her decidedly short screen time, as do the legendary Michael Rooker and brilliant newcomer Ariana Greenblatt as Clyde and Minnow, the adorably jaded, seen-it-all-before pair of “professional survivors” Joel meets en-route, who teach him to survive on the surface. The action is fast, frenetic and potently visceral, the impressively realistic digital creature effects bringing a motley crew of bloodthirsty beasties to suitably blood-curdling life for the film’s consistently terrifying set-pieces, while the world-building is intricately thought-out and skilfully executed. Altogether, this was an absolute joy from start to finish, and a film I enthusiastically endorsed to everyone I knew was looking for something fun to enjoy during the frustrating lockdown nights-in. One of the cinematic year’s best kept secrets then, and a compelling sign of things to come for its up-and-coming director.
7. PARASITE – I’ve been a fan of master Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho ever since I stumbled across his deeply weird but also thoroughly brilliant breakthrough feature The Host, and it’s a love that’s deepened since thanks to truly magnificent sci-fi actioner Snowpiercer, so I was looking forward to his latest feature as much as any movie geek, but even I wasn’t prepared for just what a runaway juggernaut of a hit this one turned out to be, from the insane box office to all that award-season glory (especially that undeniable clean-sweep at the Oscars). I’ll just come out and say it, this film deserves it all. It’s EASILY Bong’s best film to date (which is really saying something), a masterful social satire and jet black comedy that raises some genuinely intriguing questions before delivering deeply troubling answers. Straddling the ever-widening gulf between a disaffected idle rich upper class and impoverished, struggling lower class in modern-day Seoul, it tells the story of the Kim family – father Ki-taek (Bong’s good luck charm, Song Kang-ho), mother Chung-sook (Jang Hye-jin), son Ki-woo (Train to Busan’s Choi Woo-shik) and daughter Ki-jung (The Silenced’s Park So-dam) – a poor family living in a run-down basement apartment who live hand-to-mouth in minimum wage jobs and can barely rub two pennies together, until they’re presented with an intriguing opportunity. Through happy chance, Ki-woon is hired as an English tutor for Park Da-hye (Jung Ji-so), the daughter of a wealthy family, which offers him the chance to recommend Ki-jung as an art tutor to the Parks’ troubled young son, Da-song (Jung Hyeon-jun). Soon the rest of the Kims are getting in on the act, the kids contriving opportunities for their father to replace Mr Park’s chauffeur and their mother to oust the family’s long-serving housekeeper, Gook Moon-gwang (Lee Jung-eun), and before long their situation has improved dramatically. But as they two families become more deeply entwined, cracks begin to show in their supposed blissful harmony as the natural prejudices of their respective classes start to take hold, and as events spiral out of control a terrible confrontation looms on the horizon. This is social commentary at its most scathing, Bong drawing on personal experiences from his youth to inform the razor-sharp script (co-written by his production assistant Han Jin-won), while he weaves a palpable atmosphere of knife-edged tension throughout to add spice to the perfectly observed dark humour of the situation, all the while throwing intriguing twists and turns at us before suddenly dropping such a massive jaw-dropper of a gear-change that the film completely turns on its head to stunning effect. The cast are all thoroughly astounding, Song once again dominating the film with a turn at once sloppy and dishevelled but also poignant and heartfelt, while there are particularly noteworthy turns from Lee Sun-kyun as the Parks’ self-absorbed patriarch Dong-ik and Choi Yeo-jeong (The Concubine) as his flighty, easily-led wife Choi Yeon-gyo, as well as a fantastically weird appearance in the latter half from Park Myung-hoon. This is heady stuff, dangerously seductive even as it becomes increasingly uncomfortable viewing, so that even as the screws tighten and everything goes to hell it’s simply impossible to look away. Bong Joon-ho really has surpassed himself this time, delivering an existential mind-scrambler that lingers long after the credits have rolled and might even have you questioning your place in society once you’ve thought about it some. It deserves every single award and every ounce of praise it’s been lavished with, and looks set to go down as one of the true cinematic greats of this new decade. Trust me, if this was a purely critical best-of list it’d be RIGHT AT THE TOP …
6. THE OLD GUARD – Netflix’ undisputable TOP OFFERING of the summer came damn close to bagging the whole season, and I can’t help thinking that even if some of the stiffer competition had still been present it may well have still finished this high. Gina Prince-Blythewood (Love & Basketball, the Secret Life of Bees) directs comics legend Greg Rucka’s adaptation of his own popular series with uncanny skill and laser-focused visual flair considering there’s nothing on her previous CV to suggest she’d be THIS good at mounting a stomping great ultraviolent action thriller, ushering in a thoroughly engrossing tale of four ancient, invulnerable immortal warriors – Andy AKA Andromache of Scythia (Charlize Theron), Booker AKA Sebastian de Livre (Matthias Schoenaerts), Joe AKA Yusuf Al-Kaysani (Wolf’s Marwan Kenzari) and Nicky AKA Niccolo di Ginova (Trust’s Luca Marinelli) – who’ve been around forever, hiring out their services as mercenaries for righteous causes while jealously guarding their identities for fear of horrific experimentation and exploitation should their true natures ever be discovered. Their anonymity is threatened, however, when they’re uncovered by former CIA operative James Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who’s working for the decidedly dodgy pharmaceutical conglomerate run by sociopathic billionaire Steven Merrick (Harry Melling, formerly Dudley in the Harry Potter movies), who want to capture these immortals so they can patent whatever it is that makes them keep on ticking … just as a fifth immortal, US Marine Nile Freeman (If Beale Street Could Talk’s KiKi Layne), awakens after being “killed” on deployment in Afghanistan. The supporting players are excellent, particularly Ejiofor, smart and driven but ultimately principled and deeply conflicted about what he’s doing, even if he does have the best of intentions, and Melling, the kind of loathsome, reptilian scumbag you just love to hate, but the film REALLY DOES belong to the Old Guard themselves – Schoenaerts is a master brooder, spot-on casting as the group’s relative newcomer, only immortal since the Napoleonic Wars but clearly one seriously old soul who’s already VERY tired of the lifestyle, while Joe and Nicky (who met on opposing sides of the Crusades) are simply ADORABLE, an unapologetically matter-of-fact gay couple who are sweet, sassy and incredibly kind, the absolute emotional heart of the film; it’s the ladies, however, that are most memorable here. Layne is exceptional, investing Nile with a steely intensity that puts her in good stead as her new existence threatens to overwhelm her and MORE THAN qualified to bust heads alongside her elders … but it’s ancient Greek warrior Andy who steals the film, Theron building on the astounding work she did in Atomic Blonde to prove, once and for all, that there’s no woman on Earth who looks better kicking arse than her (as Booker puts it, “that woman has forgotten more ways to kill than entire armies will ever learn”); in her hands, Andy truly is a goddess of death, tough as tungsten alloy and unflappable even in the face of hell itself, but underneath it all she hides a heart as big as any of her friends’. They’re an impossibly lovable bunch and you feel you could follow them on another TEN adventures like this one, which is just as well, because Prince-Blythewood and Rucka certainly put them through their paces here – the drama is high (but frequently laced with a gentle, knowing sense of humour, particularly whenever Joe and Nicky are onscreen), as are the stakes, and the frequent action sequences are top-notch, executed with rare skill and bone-crunching zest, but also ALWAYS in service to the story. Altogether this is an astounding film, a genuine victory for its makers and, it seems, for Netflix themselves – it’s become one of the platform’s biggest hits to date, earning well-deserved critical acclaim and great respect and genuine geek love from the fanbase at large. After this, a sequel is not only inevitable, it’s ESSENTIAL …
5. MANK – it’s always nice when David Fincher, one of my TOP FIVE ALL TIME FAVOURITE DIRECTORS, drops a new movie, because it can be GUARANTEED to place good and high in my rundown for that year. The man is a frickin’ GENIUS, a true master of the craft, genuinely one of the auteur’s auteurs. I’ve NEVER seen him deliver a bad film – even a misfiring Fincher (see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Alien 3) is still capable of creating GREAT CINEMA. How? Why? It’s because he genuinely LOVES the art form, it’s been his obsession all his life, and he’s spent every day of it becoming the best possible filmmaker he can be. Who better to tell the story of the creation of one of the ULTIMATE cinematic masterpieces, then? Benjamin Ross’ acclaimed biopic RKO 281 covered similar ground, presenting a compelling look into the making Citizen Kane, the timeless masterpiece of Hollywood’s ULTIMATE auteur, Orson Welles, but Fincher’s film is more interested in the original inspiration for the story, how it was written and, most importantly, the man who wrote it – Herman J. Mankiewicz, known to his friends as Mank. One of my favourite actors of all time, Gary Oldman, delivers yet another of his career best performances in the lead role, once a man of vision and incredible storytelling skill whose talents have largely been squandered through professional difficulties and personal vices, a burned out one-time great fallen on hard times whom Welles picks up out of the trash, dusts off and offers a chance to create something truly great again. The only catch? The subject of their film (albeit dressed up in the guise of fictional newspaper magnate Charles Foster Kane) is to be real-life publisher, politico and tycoon William Randolph Hurst (Charles Dance), once Mank’s friend and patron before they had a very public and messy falling out which partly led to his current circumstances. As he toils away in seclusion on what is destined to become his true masterwork, flashbacks reveal to us the fascinating, moving and ultimately tragic tale of his rise and fall from grace in the movie business, set against the backdrop of one of the most tumultuous periods in American history. Shooting a script that his own journalist and screenwriter father, Jack, crafted and then failed to bring to the screen himself before his death in 2003, Fincher has been working for almost a quarter century to make this film, and all that passion and drive is writ large on the screen – this is a glorious film ABOUT film, the art of it, the creation of it, and all the dirty little secrets of what the industry itself has always really been like, especially in that most glamorous and illusory of times. The fact that Fincher shot in black and white and intentionally made it look like it was made in the early 1940s (the “golden age of the Silver Screen”, if you will) may seem like a gimmick, but instead it’s a very shrewd choice that expertly captures the gloss and moodiness of the age, almost looking like a contemporary companion piece to Kane itself, and it’s the perfect way to frame all the sharp-witted observation, subtly subversive character development and murky behind-the-scenes machinations that tell the story. Oldman is in every way the star here, holding the screen with all the consummate skill and flair we’ve come to expect from him, but there’s no denying the uniformly excellent supporting cast are equal to the task here – Dance is at his regal, charismatic best as Hearst, while Amanda Seyfried is icily classy on the surface but mischievous and lovably grounded underneath as Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies, who formed the basis for Kane’s most controversial character, Arliss Howard (Full Metal Jacket, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Moneyball) brings nuance and complexity to the role of MGM founder Louis B. Mayer, Tom Pelphrey (Banshee, Ozark) is understated but compelling as Mank’s younger screenwriter brother Joseph, and Lily Collins and Tuppence Middleton exude class and long-suffering stubbornness as the two main women in Mank’s life (his secretary and platonic muse, Rita Alexander, and his wife, Sara), while The Musketeers’ Tom Burke’s periodic but potent appearances as Orson Welles help to drive the story in the “present”. Another Netflix release which I was (thankfully) able to catch on the big screen during one of the brief lulls between British lockdowns, this was a decidedly meta cinematic experience that perfectly encapsulated not only what is truly required for the creation of a screen epic, but also the latest pinnacle in the career of one of the greatest filmmakers working in the business today, powerful, stirring, intriguing and surprising in equal measure. Certainly it’s one of the most important films ABOUT so far film this century, but is it as good as Citizen Kane? Boy, that’s a tough one …
4. ENOLA HOLMES – ultimately, my top film for the autumn/winter movie season was also the film which finally topped my Netflix Original features list, as well as beating all other streaming offerings for the entire year (which is saying something, as you should know by now). Had things been different, this would have been one of Warner Bros’ BIGGEST releases for the year in the cinema, of that I have no doubt, a surprise sleeper hit which would have taken the world by storm – as it is it’s STILL become a sensation, albeit in a much more mid-pandemic, lockdown home-viewing kind of way. Before you start crying oh God no, not another Sherlock Holmes adaptation, this is a very different beast from either the Guy Ritchie take or the modernized BBC show, instead side-lining the great literary sleuth in favour of a delicious new AU version, based on The Case of the Missing Marquess, the first novel in the Enola Holmes Mysteries literary series from American YA author Nancy Springer. Positing that Sherlock Holmes (Henry Cavill) and his elder brother Mycroft (Sam Claflin) had an equally ingenious and precocious baby sister, the film introduces us to Enola (Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown), who’s been raised at home by their strong-willed mother Eudoria (Helena Bonham Carter) to be just as intelligent, well-read and intellectually skilled as her far more advantageously masculine elder siblings. Then, on the morning of her sixteenth birthday, Enola awakens to find her mother has vanished, putting her in a pretty pickle since this leaves her a ward of Mycroft, a self-absorbed social peacock who finds her to be wilfully free-spirited and completely ill equipped to face the world, concluding that the only solution is sending her to boarding school where she’ll learn to become a proper lady. Needless to say she’s horrified by the prospect, deciding to run away and search for her mother instead … this is about as perfect a family adventure film as you could wish for, following a vital, capable and compelling teen detective-in-the-making as she embarks on her very first investigation, as well as winding up tangled in a second to boot involving a young runaway noble, Viscount Tewkesbury, the Marquess of Basilwether (Medici’s Louis Partridge), and the film is a breezy, swift-paced and rewardingly entertaining romp that feels like a welcome breath of fresh air for a literary property which, beloved as it may be, has been adapted to death over the years. Enola Holmes a brilliant young hero who’s perfectly crafted to carry the franchise forward in fresh new directions, and Brown brings her to life with effervescent charm, boisterous energy and mischievous irreverence that are entirely irresistible; Cavill and Claflin, meanwhile, are perfectly cast as the two very different brothers – this Sherlock is much less louche and world-weary than most previous versions, still razor sharp and intellectually restless but with a comfortable ease and a youthful spring in his step that perfectly suits the actor, while Mycroft is as superior and arrogant as ever, a preening arse we derive huge enjoyment watching Enola consistently get the best of; Bonham Carter doesn’t get a lot of screen-time but as we’d expect she does a lot with what she has to make the practical, eccentric and unapologetically modern Eudoria thoroughly memorable, while Partridge is carefree and likeable as the naïve but irresistible Tewkesbury, and there are strong supporting turns from Frances de la Tour as his stately grandmother, the Dowager, Susie Wokoma (Crazyhead, Truth Seekers) as Emily, a feisty suffragette who runs a jujitsu studio, Burn Gorman as dastardly thug-for-hire Linthorn, and Four Lions’ Adeel Akhtar as a particularly scuzzy Inspector Lestrade. Seasoned TV director Harry Bradbeer (Fleabag, Killing Eve) makes his feature debut with an impressive splash, unfolding the action at a brisk pace while keeping the narrative firmly focused on an intricate mystery plot that throws in plenty of ingenious twists and turns before a suitably atmospheric climax and pleasing denouement which nonetheless artfully sets up more to come in the future, while screenwriter Jack Thorne (His Dark Materials, The Scouting Book for Boys, Wonder) delivers strong character work and liberally peppers the dialogue with a veritable cavalcade of witty zingers. Boisterous, compelling, amusing, affecting and exciting in equal measure, this is a spirited and appealing slice of cinematic escapism that flatters its viewers and never talks down to them, a perfect little period adventure for a cosy Sunday afternoon. Obviously there’s plenty of potential for more, and with further books to adapt there’s more than enough material for a pile of sequels – Neflix would be barmy indeed to turn their nose up at this opportunity …
3. 1917 – it’s a rare thing for a film to leave me truly shell-shocked by its sheer awesomeness, for me to walk out of a cinema in a genuine daze, unable to talk or even really think about much of anything for a few hours because I’m simply marvelling at what I’ve just witnessed. Needless to say, when I do find a film like that (Fight Club, Inception, Mad Max: Fury Road) it usually earns a place very close to my heart indeed. The latest tour-de-force from Sam Mendes is one of those films – an epic World War I thriller that plays out ENTIRELY in one shot, which doesn’t simply feel like a glorified gimmick or stunt but instead is a genuine MASTERPIECE of film, a mesmerising journey of emotion and imagination in a shockingly real environment that’s impossible to tear your eyes away from. Sure, Mendes has impressed us before – his first film, American Beauty, is a GREAT movie, one of the most impressive feature debuts of the 2000s, while Skyfall is, in my opinion, quite simply THE BEST BOND FILM EVER MADE – but this is in a whole other league. It’s an astounding achievement, made all the more impressive when you realise that there’s very little trickery at play here, no clever digital magic (just some augmentation here and there), it’s all real locations and sets, filmed in long, elaborately choreographed takes blended together with clever edits to make it as seamless as possible – it’s not the first film to try to do this (remember Birdman? Bushwick?), but I’ve never seen it done better, or with greater skill. But it’s not just a clever cinematic exercise, there’s a genuine story here, told with guts and urgency, and populated by real flesh and blood characters – the heart of the film is True History of the Kelly Gang’s George MacKay and Dean Chapman (probably best known as Tommen Baratheon in Game of Thrones) as Lance Corporals Will Schofield and Tom Blake, the two young tommies sent out across enemy territory on a desperate mission to stop a British regiment from rushing headlong into a German trap (Tom himself has a personal stake in this because his brother is an officer in the attack). They’re a likeable pair, very human and relatable throughout, brave and true but never so overtly heroic that they stretch credibility, so when tragedy strikes along the way it’s particularly devastating; both deliver exceptional performances that effortlessly carry us through the film, and they’re given sterling support from a selection of top-drawer British talent, from Sherlock stars Andrew Scott and Benedict Cumberbatch to Mark Strong and Colin Firth, each delivering magnificently in small but potent cameos. That said, the cinematography and art department are the BIGGEST stars here, masterful veteran DOP Roger Deakins (The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner 2049 and pretty much the Coen Brothers’ entire back catalogue among MANY others) making every frame sing with beauty, horror, tension or tragedy as the need arises, and the environments are SO REAL it feels less like production design than that someone simply sent the cast and crew back in time to film in the real Northern France circa 1917 – from a nightmarish trek across No Man’s Land to a desperate chase through a ruined French village lit only by dancing flare-light in the darkness before dawn, every scene is utterly immersive and simply STUNNING. I don’t think it’s possible for Mendes to make a film better than this, but I sure hope he gives it a go all the same. Either way, this was the most incredible, exhausting, truly AWESOME experience I had at the cinema all year – it’s a film that DESERVES to be seen on the big screen, and I feel truly sorry for those who missed the chance …
2. BIRDS OF PREY & THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN – the only reason 1917 isn’t at number two is because Warner Bros.’ cinematic DC Extended Universe project FINALLY got round to bringing my favourite DC Comics title to the big screen. It was been the biggest pleasure of my cinematic year getting to see my top DC superheroines brought to life on the big screen, and it was done in high style, in my opinion THE BEST of the DCEU films to date (yup, I loved it EVEN MORE than the Wonder Woman movies). It was also great seeing Harley Quinn return after her show-stealing turn in David Ayer’s clunky but ultimately still hugely enjoyable Suicide Squad, better still that they got her SPOT ON this time – this is the Harley I’ve always loved in the comics, unpredictable, irreverent and entirely without regard for what anyone else thinks of her, as well as one talented psychiatrist. Margot Robbie once more excels in the role she was basically BORN to play, clearly relishing the chance to finally do Harley TRUE justice, and she’s a total riot from start to finish, infectiously lovable no matter what crazy, sometimes downright REPRIHENSIBLE antics she gets up to. Needless to say she’s the nominal star here, her latest ill-advised adventure driving the story – finally done with the Joker and itching to make her emancipation official, Harley publicly announces their breakup by blowing up Ace Chemicals (their love spot, basically), inadvertently painting a target on her back in the process since she’s no longer under the assumed protection of Gotham’s feared Clown Prince of Crime – but that doesn’t mean she eclipses the other main players the movie’s REALLY supposed to be about. Each member of the Birds of Prey is beautifully written and brought to vivid, arse-kicking life by what had to be 2020’s most exciting cast – Helena Bertinelli, the Huntress, is the perfect character for Mary Elizabeth Winstead to finally pay off on that action hero potential she showed in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, but this is a MUCH more enjoyable role outside of the fight choreography because while Helena may be a world-class dark avenger, socially she’s a total dork, which just makes her thoroughly adorable; Rosie Perez is similarly perfect casting as Renee Montoya, the uncompromising pint-sized Gotham PD detective who kicks against the corrupt system no matter what kind of trouble it gets her into, and just gets angrier all the time, paradoxically making us like her even more; and then there’s the film’s major controversy, at least as far as the fans are concerned, namely one Cassandra Cain. Sure, this take is VERY different from the comics’ version (a nearly mute master assassin who went on to become the second woman to wear the mask of Batgirl before assuming her own crime-fighting mantle as Black Bat and now Orphan), but personally I like to think this is simply Cass at THE VERY START of her origin story, leaving plenty of time for her to discover her warrior origins when the DCEU finally gets around to introducing her mum, Lady Shiva (personally I want Michelle Yeoh to play her, but that’s just me) – anyways, here she’s a skilled child pickpocket whose latest theft inadvertently sets off the larger central plot, and newcomer Ella Jay Basco brings a fantastic pre-teen irreverence and spiky charm to the role, beautifully playing against Robbie’s mercurial energy. My favourite here BY FAR, however, is Dinah Lance, aka the Black Canary (not only my favourite Bird of Prey but my very favourite DC superheroine PERIOD), the choice of up-and-comer Jurnee Smollet-Bell (Friday Night Lights, Underground) proving to be the film’s most inspired casting – a club singer with the metahuman ability to emit piercing supersonic screams, she’s also a ferocious martial artist (in the comics she’s one of the very best fighters IN THE WORLD), as well as a wonderfully pure soul you just can’t help loving, and it made me SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY that they got my Canary EXACTLY RIGHT. Altogether they’re a fantastic bunch of badass ladies, basically my perfect superhero team, and the way they’re all brought together (along with Harley, of course) is beautifully thought out and perfectly executed … they’ve also got one hell of a threat to overcome, namely Gotham crime boss Roman Sionis, the Black Mask, one of the Joker’s chief rivals – Ewan McGregor brings his A-game in a frustratingly rare villainous turn (my number one bad guy for the movie year), a monstrously narcissistic, woman-hating control freak with a penchant for peeling off the faces of those who displease him, sharing some exquisitely creepy chemistry with Chris Messina (The Mindy Project) as Sionis’ nihilistic lieutenant Victor Zsasz. This is about as good as superhero cinema gets, a perfect example of the sheer brilliance you get when you switch up the formula to create something new, an ultra-violent, unapologetically R-rated middle finger to the classic tropes, a fantastic black comedy thrill ride that’s got to be the most full-on feminist blockbuster ever made – it’s helmed by a woman (Dead Pigs director Cathy Yan), written by a woman (Bumblebee’s Christina Hodson), produced by more women and ABOUT a bunch of badass women magnificently triumphing over toxic masculinity in all its forms. It’s also simply BRILLIANT – the cast are all clearly having a blast, the action sequences are first rate (the spectacular GCPD evidence room fight in which Harley gets to REALLY cut loose is the undisputable highlight), it has a gleefully anarchic sense of humour and is simply BURSTING with phenomenal homages, references and in-jokes for the fans (Bruce the hyena! Stuffed beaver! Roller derby!). It’s also got a killer soundtrack, populated almost exclusively by numbers from female artists. Altogether, then, this is the VERY BEST the DCEU has to offer to date, and VERY NEARLY my absolute FAVOURITE film of 2020. Give it all the love you can, it sure as hell deserves it.
1. TENET – granted, the streaming platforms (particularly Netflix and Amazon) certainly saved our cinematic summer, but I’m still IMMEASURABLY glad that my ultimate top-spot winner FOR THE WHOLE YEAR was one I got to experience on THE BIG SCREEN. You gotta hand it to Christopher Nolan, he sure hung in there, stubbornly determined that his latest cinematic masterpiece WOULD be released in cinemas in the summer (albeit ultimately landing JUST inside the line in the final week of August and ultimately taking the bite at the box office because of the still shaky atmosphere), and it was worth all the fuss because, for me, this was THE PERFECT MOVIE for me to get return to cinemas with. I mean, okay, in the end it WASN’T the FIRST new movie I saw after the first reopening, that honour went to Unhinged, but THIS was my first real Saturday night-out big screen EXPERIENCE since March. Needless to say, Nolan didn’t disappoint this time any more than he has on any of his consistently spectacular previous releases, delivering another twisted, mind-boggling headfuck of a full-blooded experiential sensory overload that comes perilously close to toppling his long-standing auteur-peak, Inception (itself second only by fractions to The Dark Knight as far as I’m concerned). To say much at all about the plot would give away major spoilers – personally I’d recommend just going in as cold as possible, indeed you really should just stop reading this right now and just GO SEE IT. Still with us? Okay … the VERY abridged version is that it’s about a secret war being waged between the present and the future by people capable of “inverting” time in substances, objects, people, whatever, into which the Protagonist (BlacKkKlansman’s John David Washington), an unnamed CIA agent, has been dispatched in order to prevent a potential coming apocalypse. Washington is once again on top form, crafting a robust and compelling morally complex heroic lead who’s just as comfortable negotiating the minefields of black market intrigue as he is breaking into places or dispatching heavies, Kenneth Branagh delivers one of his most interesting and memorable performances in years as brutal Russian oligarch Andrei Sator, a genuinely nasty piece of work who was ALMOST the year’s very best screen villain, Elizabeth Debicki (The Night Manager, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Widows) brings strength, poise and wounded integrity to the role of Sator’s estranged wife, Kat, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson gets to use his own accent for once as tough-as-nails British Intelligence officer Ives, while there are brief but consistently notable supporting turns and cameos from Martin Donovan, Yesterday’s Himesh Patel, Dirk Gently’s Fiona Dourif and, of course, Nolan’s good luck charm, Michael Caine. The cast’s biggest surprise, however, is Robert Pattinson, truly a revelation in what has to be, HANDS DOWN, his best role to date, Neil, the Protagonist’s mysterious handler – he’s by turns cheeky, slick, duplicitous and thoroughly badass, delivering an enjoyably multi-layered, chameleonic performance which proves what I’ve long maintained, that the former Twilight star is actually a fucking amazing actor, and on the basis of this, even if that amazing new teaser trailer wasn’t making the rounds, I think the debate about whether or not he’s the right choice for the new Batman is now academic. As we’ve come to expect from Nolan, this is a TRUE tour-de-force experience, a visual triumph and an endlessly engrossing head-scratcher, Nolan’s screenplay bringing in seriously big ideas and throwing us some major narrative knots and loopholes, constantly wrong-footing the viewer while also setting up truly revelatory payoffs from seemingly low-key, unimportant beginnings – this is a film you need to be awake and attentive for or you could miss something pretty vital. The action sequences are, as ever, second to none, some of the year’s very best set-pieces coming thick and fast and executed with some of the most accomplished skill in the business, while Nolan-regular cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (Interstellar and Dunkirk, as well as the heady likes of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, SPECTRE and Ad Astra) once again shows he’s one of the best camera-wizards in the business today by delivering some absolutely mesmerising visuals. Notably, Nolan’s other regular collaborator, composer Hans Zimmer, is absent here (although he had good reason, since he was working on his dream project at the time, the fast-approaching screen adaptation of Dune), but Ludwig Göransson (best known for his collaborations with Ryan Coogler Fruitvale Station, Creed and Black Panther, as well as career-best work on The Mandalorian) is a fine replacement, crafting an intriguingly internalised, post-modern musical landscape that thrums and pulses in time with the story and emotions of the characters rather than the action itself. Interestingly it’s on the subject of sound that some of the film’s rare detractions have been levelled, and I can see some of the points – the soundtrack mix is an all-encompassing thing, and there are times when the dialogue can be overwhelmed, but in Nolan’s defence this film is a heady, immersive experience, something you really need to concentrate on, so these potential flaws are easily forgiven. As a work of filmmaking art, this is another flawless wonder from one of the true masters of the craft working in cinema today, but it’s art with palpable substance, a rewarding whole that proved truly unbeatable in 2020 …
#wolfwalkers#wonder woman 1984#ww84#love and monsters#parasite#parasite movie#the old guard#mank#enola holmes#1917#1917 movie#Birds of Prey#birds of prey the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn#tenet#tenet movie#2020 in movies
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Survey #441
“all alone, he turns to stone while holding his breath after death / terrified of what’s inside, to save his life he crawls like a worm from a bird”
Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yep, a few. What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? If I'm having a really bad day, I can tolerate as early as 7:00. :x What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Honey ham, probably. What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summer is disgusting. It's too hot, too humid, too many bugs, and I just hate it. Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? No, that sounds gross. What is your favorite color to wear? b l a c k Are you an overachiever? Oh, hunny. What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Maybe uhhhh big eyes. What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'hara) would you marry? Darkiplier bc he is merely a misunderstood soft boi. How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? Legs: It's been nearly a year. Pits: not that long, considering I shave them every time I get in the shower. What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone else? I'm sure it would be something in one of the letters I sent Jason. Or Dad. Idk. Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? The phase never ended lmao. What is your favorite thing about your life? My loved ones. Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire? Sorry, but I'm picking the animals. Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? Yes. How many real bfs/gfs have you had? Two. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Yes. Except for when I was with Tyler. Name a comedy that you like. White Chicks. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah. What’s the best Nirvana song? I'm not sure, really... Maybe "Drain You?" What was the last thing that impressed you? No clue. When was the last time you were in a pet store? Several months ago when I went in to get more rats for Venus. What nationality is your last name? Irish. What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Plain, rippled Lays in French onion dip. Who was the last boy that you saw cry? I don't know, actually. It may have been Sara's dad, which was years ago. Does your mom know you do surveys? I mean no, it's not like it's come up in conversation. Have you ever had a serious injury? When I was a kid, there was this one time I was running down the road with my friend, and I tripped; I was a fast runner, so I skinned the everliving FUCK out of my knees to the point there was even pus. I was SOBBING, and it took weeks to heal; I had the scars for years. What was the last thing you achieved? Losing weight at the gymmmm. Staying dedicated to going. Would you enjoy being famous? No. I couldn't take all the eyes on me and even ONE person's negative judgment. What’s under your bed? A big box of my art supplies. Do you enjoy travelling? Yeah. I wish I could do it more. Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? No. When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? Not since I first tried it at elementary school. It was absolutely disgusting. Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? I doubt it. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? No. If I'd listened to him while driving, I could've gotten myself killed while merging onto the highway. People are assholes and didn't want to move over. Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Probably "Freakshow." Does mind over matter work for you? Not usually, no. Are you paranoid? Oh yes. What is the best thing about winter? Everything!!! Literally the only BAD thing about winter is the dry skin/lips. I love the cold, Christmas and all that comes with it, the decor, hot chocolate, snow, getting all cuddly... Everything. :') Have you ever been truly in love? Absolutely. Are you currently planning a trip? No. A trip to Illinois is just a wish right now. How many plants are in your home? None, I think? What is your favorite possession? Excluding my pets (because I don't like calling them "possessions"), probably my laptop. Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? I have before, yes. What movies have tripped you out? Off the top of my head, the only entertainment media in general that has ever truly "tripped me out" was the first time I played the Silent Hill game. The movie didn't affect me to that level because I already understood the concept. When I watched Jason play it for the first time, I was SO confused and just blown away by the concept that I did loads of research and just thinking about it all. That franchise is just cool as shit, okay. Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? I LOVED rollerblading. I haven't done it in years, though. Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? NO. I will NOT settle. Being genuinely in love with my partner is too important to me for me to ever do so. I don't know if any of my friends are in that situation. Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? With my current body? FUCK no. If I was happy with my body, the answer is still probably no. I'm too self-conscious and awkward with that kind of stuff, and besides, I really don't think I want a picture like that to exist of myself to avoid potential trouble. Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No. What summertime treats do you love? We have this local slushy place that is FUCKING BOMB. It may sound basic, but they have SUCH a vast variety of flavors and goodies you can top it with that it's truly just so amazing. How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I am VERY picky. I have to be really interested in you. Save for how things were with Tyler... I just felt like I was supposed to. What do you hate most about moving? I. Hate. The process. Of moving. It is just so, so stressful to me. I have a very hard time confronting big tasks, and that's exactly what packing and unpacking entails. Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? Not necessarily. Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? No. Has anyone ever whistled at you? I don't think so. Do you like scarves? No. Is your father homophobic? Possibly. I don't actually know. I honestly don't think he took Sara's and my relationship seriously, so that may be a sign. Do you take gummy vitamins? The only vitamin I take now is vitamin D, which isn't a gummy. Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? Ha, yeah. I gave Jason a makeover once. Who would you like to meet before you die? MARK. I am so determined, alsdjfkaj;wek;rj. I just want to hug him and say thank you and ugly-cry. If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? No. Even if I had the body of a model. What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The fuckin' flat earth theory, probably. If Heaven and Hell exists, where you going when you die? Well, considering I have an, uh, very negative opinion of the Christian god... Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My mom. The day she passes is a day I am inexplicably horrified of. What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? My life. If there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? My mom really could use it. Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I love "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse, but idk if it was actually written for the movie. How old was the first person you kissed? He was 18 when we first kissed. Will you be a strict parent one day? I never want to be a parent. If I hypothetically became one, I don't think I'd be strict, necessarily, but very protective. Last person to stand up for you? Probably Mom, idk. Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, a few. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My dad. What’s your favorite high school memory? Just... a lot with Jason. Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? I prefer being in a (healthy) relationship, but I won't get into one just for the sake of having one. What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? Hmmm... scuba-dive, maybe? What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math. Italian food or Chinese food? Italian. I don't really like (most) Chinese food. Do you like to make flash cards when you study? I rarely did that. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Yes, somehow. Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? No. I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. Ashley. What do you think about Marilyn Manson? He's one of my favorite musical artists, but he's a disgusting dick personally. Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? Nothing, really. I was a very well-behaved kid. Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? Yeah, I have a Canon. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? No. Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Not every year, but most. Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No. Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loooove them. Did you ever play Minecraft? Nah. My niece is getting into it. Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? I did have one. I wasn't one of those premium members or anything like that; I just had a basic account. Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Bitch me. It's extremely embarrassing. I 100% got it from my dad. What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? The manner through which Jason broke up with me. It left me traumatized. What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people that think only they matter and have no consideration for how their actions affect other people. If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? I'd lose a shitload of weight, for one. My teeth would be whiter, my eyes bigger and bluer, I'd want my hair colored/able to hold color far better, I'd lighten and lessen my body hair, make my skin clearer, thin my eyebrows... I'd change a lot. What are your feelings on feminism? MANDATORY. Absolutely necessary in a misogynistic society. However, I do believe some people take it way too far to a point it is anti-man and puts women on a holy pedestal. It is about equality. Describe your first relationship? Perfect, until it wasn't. Describe your last relationship? Wonderful and healthy, but distance and our health were issues at the time. Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? My history with sex is confusing and complicated and I really don't know. Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? Thinking about it... it's probably because of how Simba runs from his problems and bad memories, but returns to confront them and is victorious. That's how I want to be. What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? That I'm nice and clearly sincerely cared about them and their feelings. Do you feel protective over someone? My sisters, nieces and nephews, Sara... What perfume/cologne do you wear? It's called "Blush." Where did your vehicle come from? I don't have my own, but Mom's came from a girl at the dance studio. She ran into a deer, and the front got fucked up, but the sweetheart paid to fix it up to being operable so Mom had her own car. The front bumper is kept intact with zip ties and duct tape, but hey... it works and has for many, many years now, lol. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? Ummmm... I actually don't remember. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? As tenders, probably. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: Red velvet. This year for my bday, our controlling-as-fuck family friend bought me my birthday cake without consulting ANYBODY, and I was so fucking annoyed. It was a very kind gesture, yes, but um, can I have a say, please? What do you wear to bed? Usually men's pj pants and a tank top. What were you doing at 8pm last night? Sleeping, actually. I was extremely tired and went to bed early.
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Your fate saga trailer hot takes go
I do not have that many tbh, if anything they’re kinda cold since they’re shared by many lol but anyways
If it wasn’t part of the Winx franchise I would have probably been hyped - I love magic shit and while I knew it would have been super fucking edgy just by the trailer alone I would have probs loved it, but sadly it’s part of Winx meaning it has a lot of baggage
We’ve been knew that Terra (Flora) and Musa were whitewashed to hell and back for this since last year, but it still hit seeing it on screen actually moving and man is it sad, and like... this was the perfect chance Rainhoe. You could have at LEAST learnt from the outrage the whitewashing in the cartoon caused, but that was a fool’s hope.
I WILL SAY the magic effects are decent, I loved how Aisha’s water flowed and the way they did Bloom’s fire
I AM STILL SO FUCKING CONFUSED BY BEATRIX’S EXISTENCE AND THE TRAILER DIDN’T HELP - We at least now know that her power is air/wind, but like??? is she an antagonist??? a mentor figure???? WHAT IS SHE WE DON’T KNOW SHIT RAINBOW YOU COULD HAVE ANSWERED THIS AT LEAST
I said it already but I do love how they went “fuck it” at the established color coordination - not only because it helps make itself distinct from the original cartoon (which lbr is a good thing, if only so we can pretend this never happened later), but because VINDICATION FOR 7YO DROPS, WHO THOUGHT BLOOM HAD WATER POWERS JUST BECAUSE SHE WAS BLUE. (this is the entire reason her colors are orange-black-pink in the AU lol)
The original teaser photos from two days ago do give me something to look forward to all this - any possible changes to the lore they might make intrigues me simply because the og show never did much of anything with it and I’m grasping at air here okay something’s something I need SOMETHING to make the 6 hours I’ll spend watching this bearable
Now for The Shit Only Drops cares about, by which I mean the dub situation
from the trailer I can immediately tell the dub will be done in México (which tracks with the og show having moved dubbing to Chile after having been done for 14 years in Venezuela for reasons I do not think need much explaining if you know anything about the shitshow that is this place we call Latinoamérica), so I am interested in who will dub each girl. Bloom sounded super familiar, and a friend said she might be dubbed by Leyla Rangel and THAT would be amazing but I’m not sure if it would be true.
That’s... pretty much it
OH WAIT ONE MORE THING - to the people outraged at Terra replacing Flora NOT because a white woman was cast to replace a character that was originally a woman of color, but just because Elliot is not thin, please fuck off back to the hog you came from. This also goes to the people that try to justify Elisha being cast as Musa as “mixed rep is something!” as if this was still 2003 - there was nothing stopping Kate Ringsell to simply cast an actual Asian woman to play Musa, and it’s even more annoying when she DID get actresses that perfectly matched the characters for Bloom, Stella and Aisha. She has no excuse.
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Conversations
Chapter 4
Description: You accompany your friends on a day trip to Animal Kingdom Theme Park where you meet Scott Evans by chance. This one afternoon leads to a year long friendship with both Chris and Scott over text messages and phone calls.
Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader
Warning: Cursing, drinking, and drunk texting.
A/N: Italics are internal thoughts.
Chapter 3
“Where do you want to eat?” Brooks asked once the two of you reached a strip of fast food and casual eateries.
Both of you left the office in search of a late lunch. In actuality, Brooks surprised you in the parking lot when you pulled in. You had just eaten breakfast two hours prior, but hey, if he was paying, you were going.
“Champs is always good,” you said.
Brooks hummed in reply, but kept walking past the entrance, leaving you standing there puzzled.
“Okaaaaay,” you said as you jogged to catch up. “What’s up with you?”
“Nothing,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.
“Okay. Sure. We’ll go with that,” you replied.
When you passed the fifth restaurant, you quickly walked ahead, grabbing the door for Panera Bread and holding it open for him. “In! Now!”
He chucked, shook his head, and walked in, you following behind.
With a large, apple and chicken salad in front of you, as well as large hunk of bread, you decided to let the two of you eat in peace before the interrogation began.
“Do you really need three packets of butter for that piece of bread?” he questioned.
You pointed the plastic butter knife at him. “It’s rude to talk with your mouth full. And yes, this is a lot of bread, so it deserves a proportionate amount of butter. Bread and butter give me life. Don’t hate,” you replied, tearing a chunk off.
He closed his mouth, chewing a large bite of his sandwich but giving you a large closed lipped smile.
After your stomach was overstuffed by the bread you insisted on eating, you took a large sip of water, eyeing Brooks who now had his phone in hand.
“You and Jana are too much alike. Always so serious on your damn phones,” you said. Pushing your cup away because you were just too full for even water.
“One to talk. I hear you are mighty chatty with those…Evans guys,” he whispers at the end causing you to roll your eyes.
“They’re both friends,” you reply, shrugging your shoulders.
“Not with Chris from what I hear,” he said, the smugness thick.
You bite out a laugh. “From what you hear. You mean Jana? That’s your big scoop? You’re such a punk.”
“I’m just sayin’ that it all sounds flirty to me.”
“Remind me to not tell Jana anything anymore,” you said.
He gives you a half smile, but says nothing else.
“It’s not like that. He’s Brish Mevins.” Brooks chuckles at the fake name you gave Chris. “Have you seen the girls he’s dated?”
Brooks shakes his head no, but picks up his phone and starts typing away. You put your hand over it, forcing it down.
“Neither have I, and I want to keep it that way. But I’m sure they’re gorgeous and probably all actresses. Besides, sometimes people just flirt. I do it too. It’s fun,” you replied.
“Think what you will, but be open to it,” Brooks says, taking his finger and tapping your nose.
“Dorks. That’s the only types of people I know.” Brooks scrunches up his face and gives you a smile. “Any way. Tell me what’s up and don’t say it’s nothing.”
He lets out a long breath but sits up straighter, his face instantly changing to one that’s excited. “I got a job offer,” he exclaims.
“A different one at the paper?” you asked.
He shakes his head no. “It’s with an online news organization. It’s still a sales position, but it’s better pay and I can work from anywhere.”
“Don’t leave me there by myself,” you pout. “You can’t buy me lunch if you’re at home.” Bottom lip sticking out.
“You’re hardly there by yourself. How often have I come to your desk and your busy chatting with the women around you?” he asked.
While you are extremely happy for your friend, damn, are you going to miss seeing him every day.
“Not the same.” You take a big breath in. “But I want the best for you. So, if you’re happy, I’ll be happy. The Cole family is certainly moving up. You with this new job and Jana making partner.”
Brooks throws a hand up. “Don’t jinx it. Nothing’s been announced yet.”
You copy his stance, adding your second hand in. “Fine. Fine. But it’s going to happen.”
It’s media day at Walt Disney’s Hollywood Studios. The second attraction, Rise of the Resistance in Galaxy’s Edge is opening and you are quite excited. You hadn’t always loved the Star Wars franchise, not getting into the movies until your early twenties thanks to an old boyfriend who was pretty obsessed. This ride is supposed to be a huge deal and with very little revealed to the public thus far, you’re stoked.
There’s a big presentation by CEO Robert Iger with some surprise guests. Storm Troopers are roaming the currently empty stage while various members of the media prepare to go live once the presentation starts. A borrowed camera with a zoom lens from the paper rests in your hand. You also have your digital voice recorder ready to go. It would be easier to film the event and take stills from the video, but with a good number of YouTubers making up the event, you can always catch what you missed later that night.
Robert Iger walks on the stage while small pyrotechnics fire off from the back. Cheers all around. The buzz in the air is catchy and you find yourself fangirling more than anything. The special guests end up being Daisy Ridley and John Boyega as both actors play a part in the ride.
You’re given a return time to ride the attraction that day. Seeing that you have about an hour until your time slot, you peruse the shops selling various themed wares. Even the bottles of Coke products are themed to match the land. You purchase an orbed shape bottle of Sprite and snap a selfie sending it off to Scott.
Scott: Sprite? You’re in Star Wars land and you get soda. Where’s the blue milk?
You laugh at his reply.
Y/N: Star Wars land? It’s called Galaxy’s Edge Grumpy.
Y/N: Have you tried the blue milk? I’ll stick with the pop thank you very much.
Scott: Pop?! What the fuck is pop?
Scott: How long have you lived in Florida. The word you’re looking for is soda.
Y/N: Whatever 🙄
You snuck a selfie with a Storm Trooper and sent it to Chris. A few minutes later he was calling you.
“Hey babe,” you answered.
Yeah, your friendship had taken on another nickname. He called you sweetheart and you called him babe. The first time you said it to him you cringed. Like full body folded in half while you waited for a reaction. You didn’t mean to say it, but Chris took to calling you almost daily. He had a long break in his schedule and you had become part of his day. One day the word just slipped out. It felt natural. When he went on as if nothing happened, you relaxed. The nickname slipped out more and more as if that were his name.
“You’re killing me sweetheart! Are you there for the paper?” he asked.
“Yeah. Story will post tomorrow if you want to read it. I’m about to go on Rise of the Resistance in a few minutes.”
“Of course, I want to read it. Send me the link tomorrow. Gah! I’m jealous,” he whined.
You let out a giggle. “Get your butt to Orlando then. If you can’t swing the cost of a hotel, you can stay with me,” you replied.
“Uh-huh, okay, Sassy. I’ll let you know. Go enjoy your day smartass,” he said.
“You wouldn’t put up with me if you didn’t like it,” you teased.
“Need to stop talking to Scott. Apparently, he’s a bad influence on you,” Chris said.
“Oh, I don’t doubt that. But I’m going to head over to the line. I’ll call you later babe,” you said.
“Sounds good sweetheart. Bye,” Chris said ending the call.
Rise of the Resistance was not only visually stunning, but action packed. There were so many details that no doubt you could ride ten additional times and still not catch them all. The Sentinel was lucky to have a Disney enthusiast such as yourself on staff. Whenever there was a Disney Parks story needed, they knew yours would trump the competition. While you knew you were good at your job, you were also your worst critic and struggled to really put yourself out there. This is why you mainly worked on assignment with only writing a story of your choosing from time to time.
On your way out of the park, you purchased a Mickey Premium Ice Cream Bar. You took a bite out of one of the ears and snapped a selfie. The picture was quickly sent to Chris since he asked you to mail one to him a month again.
Y/N: I was going to mail this but he just looked so damn tempting.
Chris: I may not talk to you for a while. I think you understand why.
Y/N: I refuse to believe that. I’ll call you later.
Chris: We’ll see
What a baby.
It was Christmas Eve and you were freezing cold in your mom’s house. The heat was on, but she liked to keep the thermostat set to sixty eight to keep the gas bill low. Living in Florida for fifteen years had thinned your blood. The one positive about being back in Minnesota in the winter besides seeing your family, were the cute winter clothes you could wear again. Despite the warmer temperatures all year round in Central Florida, clothing stores still sold tall boots and thick sweaters.
Dressed in a large cream cowl neck sweater, dark blue jeans, and fuzzy red and white stripped socks, you were still freezing. You pulled the green throw blanket up to your neck, wishing someone would hold your mug of hot cocoa spiked with Baileys up to your lips so you wouldn’t have to remove your hands from under your blanket.
“When did you turn into such a baby?” Heath, your younger brother asked.
Like a true baby, you stuck your tongue out at him. He smirked but shook his head at you before sitting down next to you on the couch. Your mom and her sisters are in the kitchen, fussing with dinner, but mostly drinking wine. The “kids” who are all in their late twenties and thirties include your cousins Jenny, Rebecca, Tony, and Nick and his wife Avery, as well as yourself and Heath.
You brother reaches forward and grabs your mug off the coffee table, taking a sip before passing it to you.
“This is weak,” he said.
“Not all of us need a splash of cocoa in our Baileys,” you replied.
“When’s the last time we all got drunk together?” Jenny asked.
“Not since Nick’s wedding and that was like ten years ago,” Rebecca replies.
“Count us out, we got the kids watching TV in basement and need to get home tonight,” Avery said.
Nick frowns causing you to chuckle.
“I’m game, but I don’t want to get Baileys drunk. What else do we have?” you asked.
Heath got up and walked into the kitchen, politely smiling at your mother before opening a cabinet. It was taking some effort as he was trying to reach the back of the cupboard. A few seconds later he walked back into the living room with his hands behind his back. Like a magician unveiling his trick, he pulls the bottle from behind his back.
The group of you oohs at the green bottle of Jägermeister.
“We’re going to be so sick,” Rebecca said.
“On Christmas,” you add. “Why does mom have a bottle of Jägermeister?
Fuck. Mom is going to be so mad at us.
“It’s mine from like five years ago. I left it here and forgot all about it,” Heath chuckles.
“Do we have shot glasses?” Jenny asked.
“Doubt it,” Heath said.
“But we do have Dixie cups in the bathroom.” Tony said, getting up from his seat and moving into the bathroom.
Heath grabbed his phone and hit play on his nineties music playlist. It may be Christmas Eve, but this was really a get together with your family since you mainly only came home once a year. Even then, not everyone was able to get together every year.
With your first shot in hand, you snap a selfie. Best to do it now before I start to get sloppy.
Downing the shot with your brother and cousins, you grab your phone to fire off a text, attaching the picture to send Chris and then to Scott.
Y/N: Cheers to a Merry Christmas
Scott’s the first to reply as you finish your second shot.
Scott: Someone’s getting holly and jolly
You giggled at that causing your family to all send you a questioning look.
“These shots are already going straight to my head,” you said quickly.
“Drinking game!” Heath shouts. “Since we know the Christmas Story is on TV, anytime someone says Ralphie, we drink.”
“We are so getting wasted tonight,” Tony said.
“Mom,” you called out. She walked from the kitchen into the living room where you all were. “I think everyone but Nick and Avery are staying over.”
“You kids,” she sighs as she shakes her head walking away.
Your phone buzzed in your hand. Chris had responded to your text.
Chris: God you’re adorable.
Butterflies swarmed in your stomach with heat instantly rising to your cheeks. You hoped the alcohol you consumed was a good enough cover for the redness you were no doubt showing.
Your phone started to buzz in your hand repeatedly. You were so lost in your thoughts, you almost missed the call entirely.
“Hello?” you answered.
“Merry Christmas sweetheart.” Chris said. His voice was a little rough, making you shiver.
“Hi Ba-Chris,” you said, almost slipping out the nickname in front of your family. Getting up quickly, you moved to your old bedroom for privacy.
“How’s your Christmas so far?” he asked.
“Really good. It’s like the first Christmas in maybe five years where all my cousins on my mom’s side could come,” you said. “We’re having a really good time.”
He chuckled. “I can see that. How many paper cups of alcohol have you had?”
“Only two. Probably a lot more to come,” you replied. “Besides, it’s warming me up. It’s like I get amnesia about the weather.”
“I bet. Too much sunshine. It’s cold here too,” Chris said.
“Are you and Scott in Boston?” you asked.
“Yep, for like the last week. Probably be here another couple of weeks. You should come to Boston,”
What?
You cleared your throat. “Like now?” you asked.
Chris chuckled again. Damn, if that laugh didn’t get you every time.
“Like in general.” He pauses for a moment. “You should come out sometime. Scott’s here a lot. I’m here a lot. It would be fun. Give ya the whole New England experience,” he said.
“You know, it’s cold in Massachusetts,” you chuckled out.
“It’s a good thing you look so cute in sweaters,” he said, seriousness in his voice.
Okay fine. I like Chris. I like him, like him. Fuck.
You’re rendered speechless. Yes, he’s flirty every once in a while, via text message, but hearing it over the phone is something else. It’s almost not fair that he can say those things but be a thousand miles away most days.
“Hello? Did I lose you sweetheart?” Chris asked.
“Sor…sorry. Yeah, I’ll think about it,” you stammered.
“Come in the fall. It’s beautiful in the fall and not too cold for you.”
“Okay. Yeah. We’ll work it out,” you replied.
“I’m holding you to it.” Chris said.
“Y/N? Where’d you go?” Rebecca called from the other room.
“Hey, Chris. I’m being summoned in the next room. M’sure I’m a few drinks behind by now,” you replied.
“Okay, sweetheart. Go have fun with your family,” he said.
“You too, babe. Merry Christmas,”
“Merry Christmas,” he replied.
You were indeed late to the party as everyone was plenty tipsy by the time you walked back into the living room. Tony handing you a full paper cup before you could even sit down.
An hour later you had given up on drinking. You were at the point where you were just tipsy enough with zero percent chance of getting sick and that was plenty. You had a feeling your mom would be waking everyone up bright and early tomorrow.
You picked up your phone and sent Chris a text. Because having your phone while drunk was a great idea.
Y/N: We all want something beautiful
Man, I wish I was beautiful
The two of you had a habit of sending song lyrics back and forth to each other. Since the nineties station was still playing on Heath’s phone, Mr. Jones seemed appropriate. And maybe the booze made you brave since the words had hidden meaning to your crush on Chris.
Chris: A little Counting Crows on Christmas?
Y/N: Why not? Sometimes Christmas makes you nostalgic for the 90s.
“One more shot. Come on. Just one more. You’re never home to get drunk with me anymore.” Heath sniggered.
“You are a bad influence on me,” you teased, poking him in his chest. “Fine. One more and that’s it.”
One more turned into three more and you were suddenly sloppy drunk. You said goodnight to everyone, after throwing them extra blankets and pillows you scrounged up from your bedroom.
Alone in your room, you couldn’t get your mind off of Chris. After calling you cute and inviting you to Boston, not to mention the flirty texts, it was all too much.
Y/N: I think yur so cutte
Y/N: so nice n sweet
Y/N: just derseve everything you evr want
Y/N: wish yo not so far away
Predictive text doesn’t catch everything apparently, but you’re pretty sure he would get what you were saying. Before you could type another devotion to Chris, your phone rang, causing you to drop it on your head.
“Motherfucker!” you exclaimed, rubbing your aching head.
The phone continued to ring regardless of your pain.
“Hello?” you groaned.
“So, I’m going to take a shot in the dark here and say that you are trying to text my brother.” Scott said.
“Scott! Hi! I miss you!”
He chuckled. “Yeah, Yeah. Miss you too Sassy. Sounds like someone’s a little drunk.”
You giggled. “You’re a little drunk!”
“Oh my god. I should be recording this call.” He murmured.
You laughed because that’s what you did when you drank. You weren’t sure why you were laughing, but Scott always put you in a good mood.
“Anyway. I’m going to call you tomorrow because you probably won’t remember this. I need you to put your phone away and go to sleep. Those text messages you thought you were sending to Chris, you actually sent to me,” he said.
You frowned, sticking out your bottom lip. “Can you show Chris? He needs to know,” you whined.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow sweetie. Now get some rest. Goodnight,” Scott said.
“Night Scott.”
The next morning you groaned to the sounds of your mother banging pots and pans. You were pretty sure she was doing it on purpose. With every bang, it felt like your head was going to crack open. Taking a pillow from under your head, you put it over your face and prayed that you could fall back to sleep. But then you remembered something about telling Chris he was cute.
Oh no! He’s going to think I’m some sad, desperate girl.
You grabbed your phone, praying Chris didn’t reply. Maybe he’d ignore it and save you the embarrassment. But then you remembered Scott calling you.
“Thank god for Scott,” you mumbled.
Typing out a quick reply to Scott since he would now be considered your saving grace.
Y/N: Thank you for saving me from myself.
Scott: No problem Sassy. How are you feeling?
Y/N: Like death. Not drinking again, probably for years.
Scott: So dramatic.
Y/N: Merry Christmas Grumpy.
Scott: Merry Christmas Sassy.
You plugged your nearly dead phone in to charge and regrettably got out of bed since your mom continued to make way too much noise at nine in the morning. You took a shower, hoping it would make you feel more alive. Sadly, it did not.
After eating breakfast which consisted of pancakes since your mom took a little mercy on you, you crawled back into bed. Christmas dinner was being served at five, so you grabbed your phone to set an alarm for an or two, because you knew you would over sleep. As soon as you picked it up, you saw you had a text from Chris.
Chris: Merry Christmas sweetheart.
Chris Evans was going to be the death of you.
Chapter 5
Tag List: @mustangshelby04 @bellaireland1981 @carolina-thiell @straightforwardly @torntaltos @denise1605 @mcuclintasha @southerngracela @iam-cj @trynnabemultifandom @chrisevansforever-blog @kelbabyblue @broadwayandnetflix @kyjey @thevelvetseries @i-just-feel-like @daddieslittlefangirl @hista-girl @stankface @denisemarieangelina @im-not-an-armrest-im-short @whymalu @the-doctors-fallen-angel @mariswritingforfun @tessabb7 @chrisevansfanfic @lakamaa12 @thinkxlovexloud @nea90sweetie @the-murder-strut-murdered-me @greyeyedsmile14 @dangerouslovefanfic @ripvandrinkle @bitterstar88 @andymi3ntus @zestygingergirl @tanelle83 @pinknerdpanda @allaboutthebooz @estillion14 @panicfob @patzammit @heartislubbingdubbing @collinsstanharbour @twittytelly @thefandomzoneisdangerous @linki-locks11 @mywinterwolf @ab-baybay @rda1989 @impalaimages @jesseswartzwelder @rainbowkisses31 @xostephaniethe
#chris evans#chris evans x reader#chris evans x you#chris evans x y/n#chris evans x reader insert#chris evans imagine#chris evans au#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans fan fic#chris evans fan fiction
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Buttons PT.2
Will probably make this a four part smut series.All characters belong to the supernatural franchise. Feedback is always welcome! Please do not post or use my fics without my written Permission.Thanks! The first part was posted last week!
Summary: You’ve hooked up with Sam before but now that Dean knows you’re trying to play it cool and figure out the next step. Light smut💗
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You settle into the back of the impala pulling your blazer over your chest wishing you could be invisible for just a moment. So Dean knew you fucked his brother in the bathroom of a morgue. Your classiest move? Definitely not. But how embarrassed could you be ? It was perfect . Not the first time with Sam that you had planned but, also not one you could ever forget. You shift on the leather of the seat and you hear a squish of your panties as you move. You make a mental note to ditch that thong the second you get to another bathroom. Sam makes small talk with Dean about the new particulars of the case and you are grateful for the distraction. Flipping through the pages, you try to decide who is the first employee you should interview.
"Right (Y/N) ?" Dean says. You realize you had completely zoned out and snap your head up to see Dean looking into the rearview mirror." Busy back there?" he snorts.
"You know you have a lot of questions today Dean." you retort smiling smugly into the mirror. Sam shifts nervously in his seat and while you're grateful that he invited you, you're nervous that having had him like that has made your relationship incredibly awkward. Would he want to do it again ? It seemed like he would but no words passed between you after. how was this going to work ? I mean realistically, you could never really be with him. You could not date a Winchester. Do Winchester's even date? Handsome and mannerable as they were, they were not the kind of people who could settle down and have a family, not that you were the kind of person who could have a family. The best you could even hope for, was being picked up as a third wheel for hunting with the brothers. Sure, you may never be a wife or a bake sale mom but was that even what you wanted? Dean pulled into a parking spot behind a small diner and the brothers escorted you inside. Lunch was quiet, there was a tension there for sure.
"So uhhh I think I'm going to try to talk to the first victim's husband again." you attempt to break the silence while nibbling on a fry.
" I'm so sure you are." Dean mumbles and you let it slide because he is allowed to be annoyed. The way you guys conducted yourselves was unprofessional and who knows the last time Dean got laid. You feel Sam tense next to you and you're grateful that he doesn't stoop to Dean's level. Pushing his salad around with his fork, you find you are way too nervous to look up , to look at him.
" I just mean that I think I can get him to talk, you know?" you say shyly.
" It seems like you can get a lot of people to do a lot of things they normally wouldn't huh ?" Dean snaps back coldly. Sam kicks him swiftly under the table but you notice it. Sam still hasn't looked up."I think it was the wrong place and a really wrong time. And I'm not going to pretend like no one knows what's going on when-" Sam leans in impatiently, finally breaking his gaze from his fork.
"Dean shut the fuck up." he quips. You see his adams apple bob as of he is about to say something else but, to both of your surprise, telling Dean to shut the fuck up actually worked. Dean shakes his head and throws his napkin down into his plate, grumbling something about needing to go outside. You both watch him leave and there is a heft to the silence once again. You finish your water,your straw making an awful noise as you suck around the ice at the bottom of the glass, painful silence.
"So ummm, I guess we should go meet him outside ."
"Why?" Sam snorts clearly not half as sympathetic as you are for his own brother.
" Because he's your brother.......Because he's right. Mainly because he drove." you laugh trying to diffuse whatever possible anger was there. Sam turns toward you in the small diner booth and says
"He's mad because he's jealous. That's all......and it doesn't give him the right to act like a child." You don't know what to say which prompts another long silence. How in the hell could Dean be jealous ? Did he ever think of you like that?
"Sooooooo we are not going to the car then?" you ask for clarity
"I think he needs a second to cool off. " Sam says.
"O. okay ..........So what should we do while we wait for that ?" Sam leans in close to you and plants a kiss right under your ear.
"Well" he says " There is a bathroom. " he kisses your neck more and you feel your eyes flutter at the sensation. If Dean thought he hated us before he would really hate this.
" We can not do that. Your brother will absolutely riot." you barely protest while he laps at your neck placing his hand on your knee. God that feels good.
"Are you sure?" he breathes into your neck. You do not get the chance to answer before he says " Maybe we don't have to go anywhere." his hand slowly working it's way up from your knee. "Maybe we can have fun right here." he says, his hand disappearing under the skirt of your dress. You watch his arm work and you are too nervous to look around and see if anyone is looking. The booth was in the back of the restaurant and the diner was not busy but on principle you knew it was something to be embarrassed of. You have never been this kinky. You know he can feel that your panties are still wet from before and you know he loves the thought that all he is doing now is adding to that puddle in your seat. He lowers his voice and whispers into your ear " No one is looking at us. You don't have to pretend like you don't love it." You push your back into the booth bracing yourself for the waves that you know are about to come. His middle and index finger curl into you and you are grateful for the pressure of his palm on your clit. "See Dean doesn't understand I can have you whenever I want because I know how to turn you on." he lightly bites at your neck and you let a slight whimper escape. It was true.You were just fine being his fuck toy.His fingers foraging deeper into you "Do you think anyone else could make you this wet?" you meet his gaze not saying anything ,for fear that your voice may betray you. He smirks and continues , his long fingers stroking your walls as you calmly try to move your hips into him. "You feel amazing(Y/N) " he breathes into your ear. You hate him for doing this to you. For opening you up like this in public but, it is also one the most exhilarating sexual encounters you have ever had in your life. "Earlier, I wanted to fuck you so bad I couldn't wait to get you alone. That's why I tricked you into the bathroom. " you are choking back a scream of pleasure, you just want him to shut up and let you ride his hand. Being in public was bad enough but him dirty talking to you like this was a whole different level of torture. "I had to do it. You looked so hot in that dress.......I'm just sorry I rushed it." he smiles and you bite the inside of your cheek, sure you're going to explode any minute. "I couldn't wait." he laughs "But I never got to taste you." he says going back to your neck and kissing a spot that you are sure has to be a permanent mark now. Your eyes roll back and you think about just letting it out and cumming as loud as you want .
The bill thuds to the table and you feel his arm stiffen but his fingers are still exploring inside you. He had a card right in the pocket of his jacket ,like he was ready for her to come over and you watch as he gingerly places it on the plastic tray for her to take it away.O he was good at this. She turns to leave and immediately his eyes are back on you " Do you like it when I play with your pussy?" he asks, testing you. He finger fucks you a little quicker now and you feel like your whole body could just float away and no one would notice. "I have to tell you." he whispers "Now that I know how tight that pretty little pussy is I plan to play with it a lot more." you lean against him looking up at the ceiling you close your eyes and ride the wave of that orgasm as silently as you could. He quickly pulls his fingers out of you, dips them in his mouth and then grabs the back of your head, pulling you in for a kiss. You kiss him and you can taste yourself on his tongue. You hate to admit it but, you like it. It makes you feel like he belongs to you. The waitress returns with the receipt and he quickly scribbles a signature, throws down a cash tip and gets up from the table slinging his suit jacket over his shoulder. You move your hips adjusting your underwear and pull your dress back down to where it should be.
"Ladies first" he motions for you to walk ahead of him. You switch your hips knowing he only suggested that so that he could look at your ass, and why not give him a show. You make it to the door of the diner and as he presses the glass to open you get hit with a cold rush of the outside air and wonder, what the fuck just happened ?
#supernatural final season#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural x reader#supernatural fandom#supernatural smut#hot#sexy#passion#spn cast#spn rpg#spn smut#smut#spnfamily#sam winchester#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester x ofc#sam winchester x y/n#dean winchester#dean winchester x ofc#jensen ackles#jared padalecki#jensen x jared#supernatural roleplay#supernatural fantasy#supernatural fangirl#supernatural text post#supernatural text#sam winchester smut#dean winchester smut
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I finished reading Yoda: Dark Rendezvous, and I have to say, I really, really loved it! Everyone who recommended it to me was 100% right - this book is great, and especially great in its representation of the Jedi. I think I like it even more than Shatterpoint, and I really liked Shatterpoint.
There are some weak points - it was a little slow to pull me in, and there’s a couple of Weird Legends Things™ that, with me not being particularly immersed in that continuity, don’t quite fit in with my conception of Star Wars (Dooku apparently having had a Master that was not Yoda; the infamous 13-year-old age limit (though I was at least familiar with that one), the Jedi being so far in the public eye that there exists a famous Yoda impersonator, etc), and I was a little iffy on how it handled the “Jedi shouldn’t be in the war” angle (I’m fine with there being Jedi who think that the Jedi shouldn’t be in the war. I’m less fine with an author deciding that other Jedi can’t find the words to defend their involvement, because that’s a cheap way of framing the argument), and a small moment of the “everyone falls in love” stuff I dislike.
But those were very small aspects of the book, all things considered, and pretty much everything else about this book is really, really good, and very Star Warsy - a very healthy mix of the wacky as well as the philosophical sides of the franchise, which suited my tastes really well. This book is fun - Yoda is the grumpy grandpa that he deserves to be, and spends a good portion of the book disguised as an astromech that gets into all sorts of trouble. Obi-Wan and Anakin have peak sibling energy in the handful of scenes that they show up in - Anakin at one point insisting that a woman would have to be desperate to want Obi-Wan, and only a younger sibling could possibly say something like that with a straight face to a man as attractive as Obi-Wan, as well as Obi-Wan lying to Mace Windu’s face to cover for Anakin and then immediately grumbling about it to Anakin that he doesn’t know why he does these things for him is such an older sibling thing to do.
Where this book really shines, though, is the serious stuff - the philosophy and the dark side and especially grief. What absolutely sold me on this story, and what made me sit up and go “this is going to be one of my favorite Star Wars books”, was the part where Yoda speaks to the padawans and helps them address and work through their grief. It was phenomenal, and beautiful, and absolutely everything I want out of depicting the Jedi - especially in the context that only a chapter earlier, Ventress had been hurling those standard accusations of “the Jedi don’t let you feel”, and this book wonderfully, completely demolishes that nonsense. This section is absolutely amazing:
Yoda set his bowl of gumbo regretfully aside. “Hear it working, do you?”
“Hear what?” Whie snapped.
“The dark side. Always it speaks to us, from our pain. Our grief. It connects our pain to all pain, our hurt to all hurt.”
“Maybe it has a lot to say.” Whie stared at the starscape hovering over the projector table. “It’s so easy for you. What do you care? You are unattached, aren’t you? You’ll probably never die. What was Maks Leem to you? Another pupil. After all these centuries, who could blame you if you could hardly keep track of them? Well, she was more than that to me.” He looked up challengingly. Tear tracks were shining on his face, but his eyes were still hard and angry. “She was the closest thing I had to a mother, since you took me away from my real mother. She chose me to be her Padawan and I let her down, I let her die, and I’m not going to sit here and stuff myself and get over it!” He finished with a yell, sweeping the plate of crêpes off the projection table, so the platter went sailing toward the floor.
Yoda’s eyes, heavy-lidded and half closed like a drowsing dragon’s, gleamed, and one finger twitched. Food, platter, drinks, and all hung suspended in the air. The platter settled; the crêpes returned to it; Whie’s overturned cup righted itself, and rich purple liquid trickled back into it. All settled back onto the table.
Another twitch of Yoda’s fingers, the merest flicker, and Whie’s head jerked around as if on a string, until he found himself looking into the old Jedi’s eyes. They were green, green as swamp water. He had never quite realized before how terrifying those eyes could be. One could drown in them. One could be pulled under.
“Teach me about pain, think you can?” Yoda said softly. “Think the old Master cannot care, mmm? Forgotten who I am, have you? Old am I, yes. Mm. Loved more than you, have I, Padawan. Lost more. Hated more. Killed more.” The green eyes narrowed to gleaming slits under heavy lids. Dragon eyes, old and terrible. “Think wisdom comes at no cost? The dark side, yes - it is easier for them. The pain grows too great, and they eat the darkness to flee from it. Not Yoda. Yoda loves and suffers for it, loves and suffers.”
One could have heard a feather hit the floor.
“The price of Yoda’s wisdom, high it is, very high, and the cost goes on forever. But teach me about pain, will you?”
“I...” Whie’s mouth worked. “I am sorry, Master. I was angry. But...what if they’re right?” he cried out in anguish. “What if the galaxy is dark. What if it’s like Ventress says: we are born, we suffer, we die, and that is all. What if there is no plan, what if there is no ‘goodness’? What if we suffer blindly, trying to find a reason for the suffering, but we’re just fooling ourselves, looking for hope that isn’t there? What if there is nothing but stars and the black space between them and the galaxy does not care if we live or die?”
Yoda said, “It’s true.”
The Padawans looked at him in shock.
The Master’s short legs swung forth and back, forth and back. “Perhaps,” he added. He sighed. “Many days, feel certain of a greater hope, I do. Some days, not so.” He shrugged. “What difference does it make?”
“Ventress was right?” Whie said, shocked out of his anger.
“No! Wrong she is! As wrong as she can be!” Yoda snorted. “Grief in the galaxy, is there? Oh, yes. Oceans of it. Worlds. And darkness?” Yoda pointed to the starscape on the projection table. “There you see: darkness, darkness everywhere, and a few stars. A few points of light. If no plan there is, no fate, no destiny, no providence, no Force: then what is left?” He looked at each of them in turn. “Nothing but our choices, hmm?”
“Asajj eats the darkness, and the darkness eats her back. Do that if you wish, Whie. Do that if you wish.” The old Jedi looked deep into the starscape, suns and planets and nebulae dancing, tiny points of light blazing in the darkness. “To be Jedi is to face the truth, and choose. Give off light, or darkness, Padawan.” His matted eyebrows rose high over his swamp-colored eyes, and he poked Whie with the end of his stick. Poke, poke. “Be a candle, or the night, Padawan: but choose!”
Whie cried for what seemed like a long time. Scout ate. Fidelis served. Master Yoda told stories of Maks Leem and Jai Maruk: tales of their most exciting adventures, of course, but also comical anecdotes from the days when they were only children in the Temple. They drank together, many toasts.
Scout cried. Whie ate. Fidelis served.
Yoda told stories, and ate, and cried, and laughed: and the Padawans saw that life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.
I want to show this passage to every hot-take Yoda-critical fan who’s ever leveled that kind of nonsense at him. I want every one of them to read this and still try to tell me that Yoda is detached and uncaring of the galaxy around him. I want every fan who thinks the Jedi are expected to be unfeeling to read this and understand what the Jedi actually say and do and why giving into these feelings is the issue, not the feelings themselves.
The confrontation with Dooku is also amazing. Yoda challenges him to explain why the dark side is so great, and Dooku only gets more and more frustrated as Yoda is unswayed by any of what he tempts him with. I especially love this bit where Yoda lays out exactly why what the dark side promises is false:
“Want something else. Want power.”
“Power have I.”
“Want wealth.”
“Wealth I need not.”
“Want to be safe,” Dooku said in frustration. “Want to be free from fear!”
“I will never be safe,” Yoda said. He turned away from Dooku, a shapeless bundle under a battered, acid-eaten cloak. “The universe is large and cold and very dark: that is the truth. What I love, taken from me will be, late or soon: and no power is there, dark or light, that can save me.”
That then leads into a bit where Dooku has a vision of what a dark!Yoda would look like, and realizes how utterly terrifying that would be.
Dooku also has abandonment issues on full display - lashing out at the lady who had given her son up to the Jedi, getting furious at her on the son’s behalf (but so clearly, his own, speaking of his own resentment towards his parents), and throwing an absolute hissy fit because he’s convinced Yoda likes Anakin more than him. I’m not kidding, he’s so offended by Anakin’s entire existence that just his mere presence in his house is enough for Dooku to stop feeling conflicted about the whole thing and jump right back into the dark side.
And there’s just so many good little moments throughout it all on top of all that. Whie’s dreams - and oh, I knew exactly what his dream of his own death was when he described it to Scout and it hurt at the end when he hugged Anakin while saying “I’m so glad you’re not coming to kill me!”. And Ventress, calling Dooku out on the fact that it’s so obvious that Sidious will end up replacing him (also for a more humorous bit - the fact that she apparently has some petty grudge against Anakin and Obi-Wan for stealing her ships so she goes out of her way to steal their ship at the end), and the droids, and Scout’s cleverness in winning the tournament despite her disadvantages, Jai Maruk’s last stand and refusal to fall when he was at the edge, and...so much, really.
And above all else, the book really latches onto the idea of Jedi as family, and you all know how much I really, really love the idea of the Jedi as a big found family. The idea that they consider each other to be family is driven home again and again, in their words and in their actions, and I absolutely adore this book for that emphasis.
#yoda dark rendezvous#yoda#in defense of the jedi#book review#book recommendation#jedi positive#jedi#the jedi order#jedi order#guys i REALLY LOVE THIS BOOK#seriously#i highlighted so many passages in it and I couldn't possibly include them all in this post#there are so many REALLY good conversations#about the dark side#and grief#and so much#on the dark side#on emotion
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Kiss the Girl
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
For @valkyriesryde ‘s writing challenge, sorry it’s late and I’m also sorry for just disappearing
Warnings: swearing, fluff,
When you walked into the kitchen you really weren’t expecting to walk into three grown men, let alone Avengers, arguing about Disney Princess movies. Bucky was sat at the bar, shaking his head and remaining fairly quiet, it was mainly Steve and Sam yelling.
“You CANNOT possibly believe that SNOW WHITE is the best Disney Princess movie!” Sam yelled.
Steve rolled his eyes, “It’s a CLASSIC!”
“You just like it because it’s from your time, old man,” Sam snarked while pouring himself a cup of coffee.
Bucky’s baby blues found you and his face lit up with a heart throbbing smile.
“Y/N is here, maybe she can help settle the thing.” Bucky’s warm voice wrapped around you and settled low in your stomach. The effect this man had on you was ridiculous.
“Sure, um, what’s the argument?” You shrugged, leaning against one of the cabinets.
“Best Disney Princess movie. It’s very simple. The answer is Beauty and the Beast.” Sam said matter-o-factly.
Steve started to counter but you beat him to the punch.
“Under no circumstances is that the best Disney Princess movie when the Little Mermaid exists,” you exclaimed in a mock outraged tone.
Bucky groaned and put his face into his hands and you giggled, he parted his fingers to look at you and you gave him a cheeky wink.
Steve and Sam both cried out in frustration and you couldn’t help but laugh at them.
“Okay so Steve thinks Snow White, Sam thinks Beauty and the Beast, and I think the Little Mermaid. What do you think, Buck?” You inquired, your eyes not leaving his.
His face split into a sheepish grin, “Couldn’t tell ya, doll, I haven’t seen any of them.”
This development did not surprise you, he’d been frozen for the majority of the Disney franchise and let’s face it Hydra isn’t interested in make-believe princesses, but there was only one way to settle this dispute.
“Well, sorry bud that’s about to change. That’s how we’re going to settle this, Bucky is going to watch all three and tell us which one he thinks is best,” you said.
Sam and Steve looked at each other before nodding in agreement, you were impressed that was all it took for them to agree. Plus, you would get to spend more time with Bucky this way. Your friendship was currently at a weird place where you hung out a lot but were still unsure of how to be around each other.
“I think each movie needs a fair shot, so, we watch them one night at a time. Takeout, popcorn, candy, the works.” Steve said, and you all nodded agreed.
“How do we pick the order? So there’s no bias.” Sam questioned.
“Draw them out of a hat?” Steve suggested.
We all nodded and Sam ran off to get paper and a pen, Steve grabbed one of Tony’s fedoras. Once Sam came back with the paper you snagged it and wrote down the movies and crumpled them all and dropped them into the hat.
“Bucky draws since it’s technically for him.” Sam exclaimed.
The dark haired man rolled his eyes before turning so he couldn’t see the inside of the hat and reached his hand inside and drew out a piece of paper. Bucky unrolled it and snorted at what he read, his baby blues found yours and they were twinkling with humor.
“And Snow White it is.” He rumbled in his deep timbre and you shivered internally at the sound of his voice.
“Okay so let’s meet back tonight and have a full on movie night. No interruptions, popcorn and take out. And dessert!” You said, rubbing your hands together.
“Can we get Indian?” Sam asked.
Steve groaned, “You always want Indian food.”
“And what do you want, Old Timer?” Sam snarked.
Bucky laughed at Steve’s mock offense and you finally realized you’d been staring at him and quickly averted your gaze. The group settled on ordering a couple pizzas from Marco’s, and getting ice cream for dessert if you didn’t gorge yourselves on sliced heaven.
You finally walked back into the kitchen to make yourself lunch which is what you actually went in there for, Bucky followed you in there. You both just hopped around the other making yourselves lunch, before you both ended up at the bar stuffing your faces.
“So, be straight with me, how much of a snooze fest is this movie gonna be tonight?” Bucky asked mid-chew.
You giggled, well snorted rather, because out of all the Disney princess movies Snow White was rather boring. I mean she sings to birds, it’s not exactly like she really had that much of anything to overcome, how was that relatable at all?
“Trust me, you’ll be glad we got this one out of the way first,” you assured him.
“We all know Steve’s is gonna be sappy so it’s really down to you and Sam,” he admitted in a suggestive tone.
“Don’t you insinuate that birdbrain even has a chance in hell!” you teased, playfully shoving his shoulder. That was a mistake because you could now feel all of the muscles in his shoulder, they were corded and strong and very warm. You reluctantly removed your hand before it got to be weird that you were literally just sticking your hand out to touch his muscles.
Bucky chuckled and shook his head, “Y/N, you underestimate Sam and his amazing taste in movies. I mean, I know his taste in movies and so he may have a leg up on you.”
“Now that’s just offensive, have I EVER let you down when it comes to movies? You know I have slightly offbrand taste but you’ve never disliked anything we’ve watched,” you countered.
“Very true, so I guess we’ll see huh?” he winked before he got up and cleared his stuff away.
You watched him walk out of the kitchen and you tried to clear your thoughts because that wink was making your ears hot and thighs twitch. God, now you needed a cold shower after a hard run, yet again.
________________________________________
That night, you and all the boys were sitting in the living room, stuffing your faces with pizza and cheesy bread while Snow White played on the screen. You and Bucky were sitting next to each other on the small couch while Sam and Steve were all sprawled out on the larger one.
Bucky was being his usual unknowingly hot self just sitting next to you and it was distracting, you could feel the warmth radiating off of him and you were always cold so you were unconciously shifting closer and closer to him. Eventually you sat your plate on the floor and started to relax as the movie was well underway, you kept shifting and readjusting over and over. Bucky sensing your unease, motioned for you to put your legs in his lap because he had seen you time and time again with your feet propped. You smiled softly and shifted so your legs were across his lap and your back was resting comfortably, he placed his big hand on your knee and you felt electric just from that small contact.
You couldn’t help but steal glances at the gorgeous super soldier who let you lay your legs on him, his mouth was partly open while he watched diligently. His long dark hair framing his face, he looked younger as he watched Snow White dance in the forest. Most of the time Bucky looked like someone who could tell you horrific dark stories but when he looked like this he seemed like a guy who would give you stories of wild times in his early twenties. You loved seeing him get to be soft, and to get a sense of normal as he started to adjust to his new life in the tower.
You turned your attention back to the movie and tried to concentrate on actually watching the movie, not just staring at Bucky, that’s when he started slowly rubbing his thumb back and forth. It sent butterflies racing and goosebumps down your legs, you slowly stole a glance at him and his attention was actually on you. He grinned and rolled his eyes motioning with his other hand towards the screen as if to say I told you so, you couldn’t help but grin and nod back.
You forced yourself to turn your attention back to the screen, you saw him do the same out of the corner of your eye. The two of you stayed like that for the entire movie, his thumb sending your heart into overdrive every so often with a gentle rub. When the credits finally started rolling and the lights were flicked on by Steve, you finally started to sit up and remove your legs from their comfy perch on Bucky.
“Well, Buck, what did you think?” Steve asked expecting a good reaction.
“It was pretty good. Dwarves were an interesting choice but ya know it’s a fairytale so whatever.” Bucky said, almost laughing but stifling it with a goofy smile.
Sam snickered and you bit down on your tongue to keep from actually laughing because Steve lit up at the praise.
“Well, let’s wait for commentary until after all of them,” you spoke up.
“Fair enough, that’s enough for tonight, we can watch the next movie tomorrow night. For now, let’s just head to bed,” Steve said, his voice sounding almost like y’all were on a mission.
“Aye aye Cap’n,” you snarked and both Sam and Bucky burst into laughter.
“Whatever, short stack, just get to bed at a decent time,” Cap wasn’t fazed one bit by the comment.
You all made your way upstairs to your beds, as you were riding the elevator up you caught Bucky staring out of the corner of your eye. You smiled softly to yourself as you bid the group goodnight as you got off for your floor.
_________________________________________________________
Part Two coming soon!!!!
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tuesday again no problem
difficult week, personally/professionally/politically/in the world
listening a good song never dies, van horn- i don’t know enough music theory words, but the driving guitar that comes in in the first couple seconds? good. love it. it has a sneaky but cool feel, like if modern james bond were american? i don’t really know what i mean by that bc i think that’s just the mission impossible movies BUT it has a cool, detached sound with a rougher edge. i think the chorus has my favorite lines:
Cause a good song never dies/It just reminds of where you were/The first time it made you cry/The first time you felt alive
youtube
reading finished but did not enjoy The Infinite Horizon, a modern Odyssey retelling by Noto & Duggan. didn’t quite jive with the pacing or art style, the setting in the hear future with a flooded nyc and lots of climate refugees in upstate new york that penelope has to deal with was interesting but wasn’t pushed far enough or used in an interesting manner.
watching
youtube
the Dragon’s Dogma anime (netflix, 2020), whose opening credits have enormous Black Sails vibes. despite the many people in my life who love this game and have also told me “kay you would hate this video game”, i am shocked and appalled to find it has a standard video game plot. the only context i have for this franchise is the two-ep monster factory run. (SPOILERS FOR THE FIRST EP AND A HALF) man replaces dead wife with perfect blank slate magic no-named magic woman he names after dead mother, i said “no thank you!” out loud and closed my laptop.
all dead wife plots would be infinitely more interesting if they were dead husband plots and here’s how i would rewrite this anime and game i know very little about:
pregnant wife survives, has to protect her young daughter who’s the only thing she has left of her beloved husband while forming an anti-dragon resistance group, turns desire for revenge into cold political fury
bc the dad rushing in headlong left such an impression on the mother she's convinced the only way to defeat her deadliest enemy is by first weakening it through politics and subterfuge/targeted assassinations against the dragon's political allies
the dragon doesn't actually have political allies this anime as-is isn't that complicated
flashback arc as the mother tries to gain political allies, where we learn how the dragon came to power: complex targeted campaign of burning certain duchies/kingdoms/key towns to the ground in order to get others in line,
the beginning of the show when the husband died was the very old dragon deciding to go on one more fire and brimstone campaign for funsies, like an old general going out to lead one last battle
dragon’s seneschal or main spokesperson or whoever is a hot witch lady under thrall or some shit bc she sought power from the dragon and it backfired spectacularly
daughter is basically emily dishonored, trained in the art of sabotage and assassination, mother uses her as a scalpel in order to maneuver the counties/kingdoms surrounding the dragon’s lair to stay out of the way of them killing the dragon
an effort that will be led by the daughter, who will probably not make it out of the spearhead effort to weaken the dragon by flooding the lair with ??? magical Greek fire or some shit?
daughter’s lover, who has been off researching the magical equivalent of Greek fire or some shit to use against the dragon, comes back with the goods and pleads with her to choose her/life/hope over almost certain death while fighting the dragon
the dragon dies the night before the daughter is about to assassinate it! she finds the dragon dead in a gigantic lavish set of a cavern of gold and skulls and shit!
struggle in power vacuum! what does a new order under no dragon look like! what’s the mother’s fucking purpose any more and what does she do with all this power she’s accumulated under the shared banner of killing the dragon! do they lie and say they did actually kill the dragon? how do the daughter and her lover fix their relationship! how do the MOTHER and her adult daughter deal with their new relationship???
WHERE DID THE DRAGON’S HOT WITCH SENESCHAL GO AND WHAT IF ANYTHING DID SHE HAVE TO DO WITH THIS. WHAT HAPPENS TO THE DRAGON’S HOLDINGS AND STAFF
season two babey! political maneuverings in the background of a murder mystery bc now the daughter wants revenge on the person who stole HER revenge and also, from her point of view, wrecked her relationships with her mother and her lover for nothing!
please god someone hire me for some sort of well-paying job bc i've made this simple revenge plot infinitely more interesting while high off my ass on benadryl
playing animal crossing continues to be a balm. gotta pick up a couple hundred acorns to make a cool table and chairs set. not a lot to say about this real simple game that’s a quiet delight. i feel like that was a lot of text all at once have a pic
making curtains, bc the light/window/curtain situation in this apartment continues to be abysmal. these two printed panels i’ve been terrified to cut into have been in my possession since the first time i came back to college. my boss at the time did a lot of networking and traveling, and she was given these at some point by someone. sensing the latent feral textile energy within me or something, although she probably just wanted to clear out her office a little bit, i got these along with a bunch of other shit that has since come to its useful end. but these two panels have been with me through half a dozen moves, and now they’re curtains.
i do not think they are the sort of religious textile a white person shouldn’t own, to the best of my research they are somewhat generic touristy souvenir fabric, but i would be interested to hear otherwise and fix my mistakes, bc i have not cut into them just made some very deep hems. they are printed slightly askew, so my regular perfectionist “pick a warp or weft thread and pin along that line” doesn’t fucking work but i mostly had room for nice finished seams. this fabric is a touch heavier than quilting cotton but lighter than a linen sheet, pretty tightly woven, a little shiny, and i would be reluctant to wash these since in the process of hemming quite a lot of the dye has come off on my hands. didn’t hem the selvedge edge bc i can’t be fucking bothered. here is an abysmal picture, i am very proud of my precise measurements and how nicely they line up. they are a little bit of a weird size proportionally speaking for this room, but they stay out of the way of the outlet and the heater, they go with my bedspread, and that’s what i really care about. if you think i’m gonna fucking iron twelve square feet of curtains you are wrong
#tuesday again#tuesday again no problem#yes i AM up super early it's bc i fell asleep way too early last night bc of the aforementioned benadryl#i hate the out of doors
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