#I’m 3/4ths of the way through into the wild

[bookwyrminspiration]

someone give ravenpaw a hug oh my god he does not deserve this . my god. hug him. Right Now. god

[mononijikayu]

chapter (3) — omg

GENRE: alternate universe - actors/celeb au!

WARNING/S: not safe for work (nsfw), r-18 and above, actors/singers au!, romance, fluff, minor angst, slow burn, humour, slice of life, will they won't they, light-hearted, flirting, playful, possessiveness, teasing, explicit content, possible, kissing, sexual content, innuendos, drama, feels, hurt/comfort, falling in love, love, happy ending, actor/singer! sukuna, actress/celeb! reader;

WORD COUNT: 3.3k words.

NOTE: i really think that if this were to happen irl, everyone would just really really lose their minds like??? genuinely. i really think that people would be entertained and also not. these are the in between of the kinktober event, which starts october 4th (6 pm pst, 9 am for ph time and 4 pm uk time) - the first one is also a sukuna one too!!! please enjoy them as they come out!!! thank you for your continued love!!! i love you all <3

TAGLIST: @kunasthiast, @midnight-138, @v3nd3ttal3on, @r0ckst4rjk, @theshxaverse, @cheescakebroom, @kariatenoh ;

masterlist

hey lover! series

IT WAS THAT SIX MONTH PERIOD THAT STUNNED THE WORLD. The internet was already on the verge of a meltdown the day it was announced that you and Sukuna were going to star opposite of each other in a new romantic drama film.

The plot? A searing, emotionally intense story about a husband and wife’s failing marriage. That alone was enough to send fans into a frenzy. The idea of you two, already known for your incredible chemistry, playing lovers on the brink of collapse was the stuff of internet gold.

Speculation ran wild for months. There were endless fan theories about how much tension would be in the movie, the inevitable blow-out arguments, and the long, charged stares across dimly lit rooms.

But the moment the real rumor started spreading—that the on-screen couple would have a full-blown romance scene—it was like gasoline was thrown on the fire.

Twitter threads were filled with fans practically holding their breath, trying to figure out if this was just clickbait or if the movie would actually go there. For weeks, fans analyzed trailers and snippets of scenes, slowing down moments to see if they could spot any clues.

There was talk of “the tension is unreal” or “there’s NO WAY they’ll pull off that scene without killing us all”. But despite the rampant speculation, nothing could have prepared them for what came next.

Then, the movie premiered. And that’s when everything exploded.

One fan was the first to drop the bombshell:

SukusukuOne Tweet: “WAIT. WHAT? A SEX SCENE BETWEEN THEM?!?!”

That single tweet ignited a wildfire across every social media platform. It took only minutes before reactions flooded in from every corner of the internet. It was as if the world collectively gasped and lost its ability to function.

Fans who had managed to watch the early screenings immediately went into panic mode, sending everyone else into spirals of anticipation.

Y/N’sWorldHQ: “I KNEW IT. I FREAKING KNEW IT BUT I WASN’T READY. NOT LIKE THIS.” 

SukuY/NHQ: “BESTIES, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS SO FUCKING REAL!!!

Y/N-Rin: We asked for tension and got THIS. I CAN’T BREATHE.” 

SukunaSource: “Forget the plot—I need a minute to process what I just saw. That scene? UNREAL.” 

Y/N–SUKUONE “Y’all. It’s not just a scene. It’s THE scene. They went THERE and I’m not okay.”

For Y/N:  "I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS. SOMEONE HOLD ME." 

Suku–king: “SUKUNA. SEX SCENE. I REPEAT: SUKUNA. SEX SCENE. WITH Y/N?!? breathes into a paper bag" 

Y/N–Hiromi: "Oh, y’all are just gonna drop this bomb and leave us to SCREAM?" 

Pop Star Kuna: "No, because how am I supposed to sit through that scene like a normal person? I’ll be watching through my fingers." 

Y/N Movie Era: "WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS OKAY TO GIVE US THIS LEVEL OF ENERGY IN A MOVIE?!? MY WIG IS IN ANOTHER GALAXY.”

GIFs of you and Sukuna in slow, sultry close-ups began circulating within minutes. The intensity, the way the scene built from raw emotion to passionate release, left fans utterly destroyed.

People were making reaction videos, pausing the exact second the scene got too hot to handle and screaming at their screens. Thirst tweets, memes, and GIFs of fans collapsing on their couches like they’d just run a marathon became the norm.

HiroKuna: “I’M YELLING. THEY REALLY DID THAT. NO ONE TOLD ME I NEEDED OXYGEN.” 

KukuNa7: “I knew it would be good, but I didn’t think it would be THIS. I feel like I need a cigarette and I don’t even smoke.” 

Hiromimimi: “The way they LOOK at each other?! The rawness of it all?! This scene is pure FIRE.”

As if the internet wasn’t on fire enough, you and Sukuna decided to fuel the flames even further. You hopped on Twitter, casually posting a behind-the-scenes video of the two of you messing around in between takes.

In the shot, Sukuna was leaning back on the bed, one arm draped over his eyes, mid-laugh, while you sat there making faces at the as you got your retouching make up done. You tell him to stop, but you just both kept laughing and got scolded by the make up artist. Sukuna then calls you beautiful, and you blush.

Y/NTheOne: “When the ‘passionate scene’ turns into a blooper reel. 😂 No one tells you how hard it is to keep a straight face. #BTS #MovieMagic”

The reaction? Absolute chaos. Fans didn’t know whether to scream, cry, or laugh.

sukurin: “They’re just gonna post this like it’s no big deal??? WDYM SUKUNA CALLS HER BEAUTIFUL AND SHE JUST BLUSHES??? BRO???” 

y/n’s princess: “OKAY BUT I LOVE HOW CASUAL THEY ARE ABOUT THIS. HELP.” 

sukuy/n’s love child: “I’M NEVER GETTING OVER THIS. NEVER.”

kunatuna: “The fact that they’re laughing like this in between scenes, and we’re out here struggling to breathe??”

Not to be outdone, Sukuna joined in on the fun a few hours later by posting his own video on his Instagram story. The clip showed you two rehearsing the confrontation scene between the spouses and you were screaming at the top of your lungs before he made a face and you immediately break, falling into his arms and suddenly laughing as hard as humanly possible. Sukuna wrapped his arms around you too, hugging you back.

ItsRyoSuku: “Professional actors, by the way. 😂 #HappyTogether”

Cue more pandemonium:

JJK (Taylor’s Version): “NOT THEM POSTING BTS FOOTAGE LIKE THIS. STOPPPP.” 

kukuna1989: “I can’t breathe. How are they this funny and attractive at the same time???”

y/n on the ring: “This video is sending me. They’re out here clowning and we’re suffering.” 

y/nkunaaaaaahhhhhhhh: “I’m trying to focus on their acting, but instead I’m watching them roast themselves. THIS IS GOLD.”

kukukufukukukuku: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HAPPY TOGETHER??? RYOMEN SUKUNA????

Fan TikToks:

Y/N–Na–Na–Na: (in a shaky voice) “So, I just watched the scene… and honestly, I don’t think I’m okay. No spoilers, but if you think you can handle it—YOU CAN’T.” Cue someone throwing a pillow at the camera.

SukuPop: "There’s thirst traps, and then there’s THIS MOVIE. HOW DID WE GET HERE?"

And as if that wasn’t enough, a massive fan thread started trending on Twitter titled:

"Are They Dating or Just TOO Good at Acting?"

Enter you and Sukuna again, ready to add more and more fuel to the fire.

You once more jumped on the bandwagon with another cheeky Twitter post, sharing a behind-the-scenes photo of you both between takes. This was the alternative extension that was cut from the film — one which the director really liked. But it just didn’t make the final editing cut.

Still, the shot was perfect:  Ryomen Sukuna, half-dressed from the scene, lying on the bed resting his head against your shoulder, laughing about something you said. You? Half covered in the blankets. You were looking down at him, also laughing as you were in the middle of speaking, holding onto a pillow for dear life, your hair tousled from filming.

Y/NTheOne: “Sukuna tried to hold it for this shot. But I wished this made it too! 😂 #BTS #MovieMagic"

The internet? Instantly set ablaze. ONCE AGAIN.

HiromiRyomenCentral: "OKAY BUT YOU CAN’T JUST DROP THIS AND NOT GIVE US MORE!" 

KingofCursesStan: "They’re out here laughing, and I’m out here crying. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE."

Y/NStan: "Not them acting all cute and casual when we’re out here clutching our pearls. I CAN’T."

Then, of course, Ryomen Sukuna couldn’t lose here—of course, in classic Sukuna fashion. 

He posted a behind-the-scenes video on Instagram of you both rehearsing the scene. But instead of being sexy and intense, it was pure comedy. The two of you were dramatically exaggerating every move, making ridiculous faces at each other. 

You were both exhausted, but you both wanted to wake each other up. So, it came to this — both of you losing your minds to make everything as funny as possible. At one point, Sukuna dramatically threw himself back on the bed, rolling his eyes in a mock-swoon while you burst into giggles so uncontrollable that you doubled over.

ItsRyoSuku: “Multiverse of Madness 😂 #ItsAComedyActually"

Fans were once more  losing their minds in the comments:

RyoHQ: “NOT SUKUNA TURNING THIS INTO A COMEDY SKETCH?! I CAN’T BREATHE.” 

SukuRy: "I’m gonna need 48 hours to recover from the whiplash between the actual scene and THIS." 

SukuStar: "Please tell me the DVD has a blooper reel. I BEG YOU." 

StarStarKuna: "Y’all are just CLOWNING at this point, meanwhile I’m struggling to form a coherent thought after seeing that scene.”

The memes were iconic. Some were based on popular crying reaction GIFs, while others used dramatic slow-motion moments to parody the sheer intensity of the scene. One particularly viral meme had Sukuna’s character looking down at you in the scene with the caption: “When your favorite ship finally goes canon and it’s STEAMY AF.”

Soon, clips from the movie were being re-edited with dramatic soundtracks, making the moment between your characters feel even more cinematic, even more romantic. Someone even edited the entire scene to Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”, and the internet practically screamed.

You and Sukuna couldn’t help but keep the fun going. A few hours later, you responded to one of the fan edits with a quote-tweet, saying:

Y/NTheOne: “Honestly, this edit is better than the actual movie. 😆”

Sukuna, naturally, followed up with a comment that sent everyone into a tailspin:

ItsRyoSuku: “Still waiting on our Grammy for ‘Best Chemistry On-Screen.’ 😏”

The internet was absolutely living for it. Fans were quick to point out every tiny behind-the-scenes moment, analyzing the body language, the laughter, and of course, the constant playful teasing between you two. Some fans even swore up and down that they knew you two had undeniable off-screen chemistry, and this was just proof.

MimiHiro67 Posted: "Look at the way he looks at her like that. I’m telling you, IT’S NOT JUST ACTING." 

Kuku/Y/N Replied: "The flirting during the bloopers?? HELLO?! WE’RE SEEING IT." 

HiroKunaFT Replied: "They’re out here, trolling us, but I KNOW they’re secretly dating. THEY HAVE TO BE."

Before you knew it, fan art, memes, and theories flooded every corner of the internet. There were edits of you and Sukuna as modern-day star-crossed lovers, wedding fanfics, and even whole video compilations of you two joking and messing around during interviews.

But perhaps the most hilarious reaction came from one particular fan who summed it up perfectly in a single tweet:

Y/NKunaSource: “Let’s be real. We’re all just happy to live in a world where they exist and can mess with us like this. Bless.”

By the end of the week, the internet was a beautiful mix of chaos, laughter, and way too many thirst traps inspired by that one scene. You and Sukuna continued to play along with the fans, leaning into the fun and teasing just enough to keep everyone guessing—and loving every second of it.

The chaos continued to escalate in the following days, with the internet running wild over every new detail, theory, and behind-the-scenes snippet about the two of you and your relationship. Fans were relentless, and you and Sukuna? You weren’t about to let things calm down just yet. If anything, you leaned into the frenzy, becoming the ultimate internet trolls.

It started innocently enough. You posted a cute boomerang of the two of you at a cast dinner, clinking glasses and flashing cheeky grins at the camera. You looked stunning resting against Sukuna’s chair. Harmless, right? Not according to the fanbase.

Y/NTheOne: “Cheers to being the internet’s favorite scandal 😜🍸#StillNotDating #OrAreWe?”

That was enough to send your followers spiraling into madness again. Fans combed through the boomerang as if it held secret, hidden messages. Someone even analyzed Sukuna’s scarlet eye contact in slow motion, trying to decipher what it all meant.

Sukuna’sHuh!?: “THE CHEMISTRY. I CAN’T. They’re definitely dating.” 

YoHiroKuna: “Every time they say they’re ‘not dating,’ I lose five years off my life from the lies. 😂” 

Kukukukuna: “Why are they like this?! Just admit it already!”

Veteran Actor Ryomen Sukuna, never one to miss out on the fun, upped the ante. He soon after posted a selfie of the two of you on set, both of you in full costume, right before filming a scene. The twist? You were sitting in his lap, giggling as he gave the camera a devilish smirk. The caption?

ItsRyoSuku: “Just another day at work with my favorite co-star, my baby doll  👀 #WeLiveForMethodActing #OrDoWe"

The comment section exploded:

SukuDw: "EXCUSE ME, SIR??? SITTING IN HIS LAP?!?" 

Y/N’sbabygirl: “Method acting? Is that what we’re calling this now?? LMAO” 

RyoRyoYoBoat: "My mind can’t handle this level of chaos. 😳"

Then came the real kicker. In the start of the promo junket, there was an interview shot to promote the movie. And the host, unable to resist, asked you both about that scene again. The moment the question was out there, Sukuna leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, eyes sparkling with mischief.

The host clears his throat. “So, everyone’s talking about that… intimate scene between you two. How did you prepare for it?”

Without missing a beat, Sukuna deadpanned, “Oh, we didn’t prepare at all. We just winged it. All natural chemistry. It’s just like that between me and my doll, right here.” He shot you a wink, making you snort with laughter.

You, trying to play it cool but clearly failing, added, “Honestly, I think the hardest part was not laughing through the whole thing. I mean, darling, we’re professionals, but…”

Sukuna cut in, “But when you’re this close with someone…” He leaned toward you, smirking, “… things just come naturally.”

The internet immediately combusted. Clips of the interview spread like wildfire, with fans collectively losing their minds. The phrase “all natural chemistry” trended on Twitter for hours.

JJK4HiroKuna: “’Natural chemistry’ MY HEART IS DONE.” 

HiroKunaHiroKuna: "He WINKED?! IS HE TRYING TO KILL US?!" 

OneY/NKunaNation: “We all just agreed they’re married at this point, right?”

Y/N–Y/NHQ: I bet the bed chem is also natural, huh?

Memes flooded every platform. One fan made a video edit of you and Sukuna’s most flirtatious moments, set to some dramatic, romantic soundtrack. The edit quickly went viral, with even more fans joining the speculation train. Soon, someone added to the thread a GIF of Sukuna winking from another project, captioning it with, “When he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing.”

The internet was already hanging by a thread after months of anticipation, memes, and wild speculation, but that night—that night—Sukuna and you delivered the ultimate bombshell that no one saw coming.

It was the end of the movie's promotional tour, and just when fans thought they had seen everything there was to see, Sukuna decided to drop a casual little Instagram story that sent the entire fanbase spiraling.

The video was simple enough at first: the two of you chilling in his trailer during a break, scrolling through Twitter and Instagram, laughing at the flood of comments, reaction videos, and memes about your on-screen chemistry.

But it was the soundtrack that immediately caught everyone's attention—George Michael’s “Careless Whisper” playing softly in the background. That instantly iconic sax riff was the setup for what was about to be an unforgettable moment. Fans knew something chaotic was coming; it was only a matter of what.

Sukuna, ever the mastermind, flipped the camera towards himself, giving a mock-serious look before turning it to you, sitting next to him on the couch, grinning like you were in on the joke.

Sukuna looks at you, smirking. “So, the rumors are true.”

That one line was enough to make everyone sit up, hearts pounding, fingers hovering over their keyboards, ready to fire off tweets. You, already sensing where this was headed, played along like the pro you were.

You raised your brow, matching his smirk. “What rumors?”

Sukuna turned his head slowly, looking directly into the camera with that signature smirk that drove fans wild. His voice dropped to a low, sultry tone, dripping with fake seriousness.

He snickers back. “The ones about us, doll.” He paused, letting the tension build, eyes twinkling with mischief. And then, with perfect comedic timing, he delivered the finishing blow. “We do love keeping people on their toes.”

That was it. That’s all it took. The fanbase erupted into chaos as the video zoomed in dramatically on both of your faces, just before you two completely lost it, bursting into uncontrollable laughter. The screen faded to black, but the internet was already ablaze.

The hashtags #TheRumorsAreTrue, #SukunaAndHisDoll, and #KeepingUsOnOurToes were trending worldwide within minutes. Memes were being generated at lightning speed, GIFs of the dramatic zoom popping up on every corner of the web. And the fan comments? Absolute gold.

HiromiSource: “WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS?!? I CAN’T KEEP UP.” 

KingofCursesHQ: “They’re literally trolling us and I LOVE IT.” 

HiroKuna4Lyfe: “The fact that Sukuna just casually said ‘the rumors are true’ and then did THAT?? I’M GONE.”

Reaction videos flooded TikTok, fans filming themselves losing their minds as they watched Sukuna drop the ultimate tease. One user even posted a slow-motion edit of the zoom with captions like “My heart cannot handle this level of trolling, this is bad for me” and “They’re playing with us like it’s a sport, and I’m here for it.”

But just when you thought the chaos had peaked, Sukuna decided to throw another wrench into the mix. About five minutes after the video went live, he took to Twitter to reply to the overwhelming reactions.

@ItsRyoKuna: “Oh? Did I? Hm…..I wonder if I did?”

That tweet sent fans into a frenzy all over again. The cryptic nature, the smirk behind the words—it was peak Sukuna, and they were living for it.

HiroKuKu: “HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING. STOP THIS MAN. NO DON’T.” 

Pop Sensation Kuna: “’Did I?’ SIR I’M NOT OKAY WITH THIS LEVEL OF TEASING.” 

YoItsKukuNa: “Sukuna’s out here stirring the pot like a pro, and I can’t even be mad.”

Of course, you couldn’t resist getting in on the fun either. A few minutes after Sukuna’s tweet, you replied:

@Y/NTheOne: “Guess we’ll never know 😏”

And that? That was the nail in the coffin. Fans went into full meltdown mode. Screenshots of your reply were immediately plastered across every fan page, each theory more dramatic than the last.

HiroY/NHQ: “NOT YOU TOO. ARE WE EVER GONNA GET A STRAIGHT ANSWER???” 

SusuKuY/N: “This is literally a soap opera and I’m addicted. GIVE ME MORE.”

It’sY/N’sWorld: Y/N ITS TIME TO STOP IM GOING CRAZY

@Y/NTheOne Replied: No <3

Before long, the internet was awash in fan art, with some recreating the trailer scene in elaborate comic-book style panels, and others painting romanticized versions of your characters together, always with that cheeky, ambiguous vibe that kept everyone on edge.

The fans were even dissecting the choice of “Careless Whisper” in the background. Some insisted it was a secret code, a hint that there was something more going on between you two than just professional chemistry. Others joked that it was Sukuna’s favorite way to troll, playing the ultimate cheesy song during the ultimate tease.

HelloDoll: “Careless Whisper? REALLY?? That’s the most dramatic song choice and I’m here for it.” 

JJKuna: “They’re basically telling us they’re the chaotic couple of the century and I can’t handle it.”

The memes kept coming. Someone edited a video of Sukuna saying, “The rumors are true.” then cut to fans fainting and screaming in reaction clips. Another fan took a screenshot of your zoom-in moment and slapped “I WILL NEVER RECOVER” in bold letters across it.

As the fanbase continued to spiral, Sukuna and you just watched from the sidelines, laughing at the chaos you’d unleashed. It was a perfect storm—your playful trolling, the cheeky teasing, and the undeniable chemistry that everyone loved to speculate about.

By the end of the night, the internet was convinced they’d been played in the best way possible. The mystery surrounding your relationship status was still intact, but you’d managed to make the entire ordeal one of the most memorable and entertaining situations in pop culture for your fans.

And for the fans? They wouldn’t have had it any other way.

[beth20light]

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓓𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮 3

Jacob Black x Reader

A/N: Hello I’m back. This chapter more longer then the other ones. I thought i was gonna die while writing this 😭 4th chapter is gonna be the last one. Hope you guys like it 💙

The next day, you returned to the woods. You didn't mention your plans to your dad he definitely wouldn’t have allowed it. You dressed carefully and packed something to secure yourself, just in case anything happened.

You took a knife—it was better than nothing—along with pepper spray and a compass. A gun would have been better, but you didn’t know how to use one. And if you took your dad's gun, he would definitely find out.

Leaving your house, you walked the same path as before. As you entered the woods, you tried to recall the way you had come. After a while, you found the spot where you had seen the cougar. Oddly, there was no trace of it. You thought it was strange but pushed the thought aside; it was better not to see its dead body.

You wandered the same area for some time, feeling a bit anxious about getting lost, but it was a risk you had to take. Your knife was clutched in your hand, ready in case anything unexpected appeared. You listened carefully for any sounds.

Determined, you decided to go deeper into the woods. You walked and walked, but there was no sign of that mysterious wolf.

Hours passed, and as it grew late, You felt tired from all the walking, and still, there was no trace of him. You hadn’t really expected to meet him—after all, he was an animal, and he wouldn’t remain in one place. Yet you had a hope he remained. You decided to return tomorrow, finding your way back out of the woods.

The next day, you returned to the same spot, but again, there was no sign of the wolf. You decided to go further than yesterday, walking in circles. Thankfully, you didn’t encounter any wild animals, including that wolf.

Your hopes began to fade. Janice asked about your previous day; why had you lied? Your dad questioned where you had been for two days in a row. You came up with an excuse for your dad and told Janice that you would explain everything soon again.

You felt desperate during these troubling times; that wolf was the only thing that kept your mind occupied. You weren’t sure what you would do if you encountered him again. Part of you wondered if he might harm you this time, yet deep down, you felt he wouldn’t. It was a feeling you couldn’t quite explain.

You decided to go once more. After dressing and packing, you left the house, retracing your steps along the familiar path. Just before you entered the depths of the woods, someone shouted your name.

“Y/N!”

You turned around, it was the last person you expected to see your heart began to race as you saw Jacob. He was with Embry, What was he doing here? Your gaze lingered on them. Jacob's expression was blank, yet it stirred up the feelings you had tried to suppress last week. Your heart felt heavier than before, burdened by the memories that flooded back. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, but the weight of his presence was overwhelming.

Your gaze shifted to Embry, who didn’t seem surprised to see you—almost as if he had known you would be here.

You and Embry were friends too, but he was primarily Jacob’s friend. Since neither of you had spoken much, he hadn’t reached out to you either. You felt like Jacob become more taller since last time.

“Jacob?” you finally managed to speak.

He began to walk toward you, while Embry stayed behind, watching the two of you.

As Jacob took his final steps toward you, you asked, “Jacob, what are you doing here?”

He immediately responded, his voice laced with anger, “What are you doing here? Don’t you know it’s dangerous?”

His words sent a jolt through your heart, making it skip a beat. “I... I was just—” You couldn’t finish your sentence. He stood there, breathing heavily, and you hesitated to share your reasons. You were not sure if he would believe you or let you find that wolf.

He sighed, looking frustrated. “Don’t change the subject. You were going to the woods by yourself. Are you out of your mind? What if something happens to you? Who's going to help you if you get into trouble?”

With each word, you felt more embarrassed. He was saying the things you’d been ignoring. It was dangerous, and this was your third time going in there. Every time, your chances of coming back safely got lower.

“I bet your dad doesn’t even know about this. Want me to tell him what you were going to do ?” His words hit you hard. He was really going to tell your dad? Your best friend was going to snitch on you.

You looked at him in disbelief. Memories of last week flooded your mind—the two of you in the car. After everything, how could he think he had the right to tell you what to do? He’d pushed you out of his life without a word, refusing to let you say anything about his choices. And now he was trying to threaten you by bringing your dad into it? Your heart raced with anger. How dare he act like he could control you after shutting you out?

“What’s it to you?” you answered, your voice rising. “You don’t get to decide what I do! Who do you think you are, threatening to tell my dad?”

Jacob’s eyes widened Shock flashed across his face, but it quickly twisted into anger, his expression darkening “Who am I? I’m your friend, Y/N!” he shouted, voice taut with frustration.

“Friend?” you scoffed with sarcasm “You were the one who built this wall between us, Jacob! And now, you stand here, acting like we’re close? Don’t insult me. We’re not friends. Not anymore. You have no right to interfere in my life.” Your voice rose with each word until you were shouting. “Go ahead, tell my dad. All that will do is show how pathetic you really are!”

Your words struck a nerve. Jacob’s face reddened, veins standing out on his forehead. His jaw clenched as he speaked, “You can say whatever you want, but I’m not letting you go there.”

“I am going, and you can’t stop me.” With that, you turned and began to walk toward the woods, leaving him behind in silence.

“I know why you’re going there!” Jacob’s voice came from behind you, louder and sharper than you expected. “You’re not going to find that wolf.”

You stopped, your pulse quickening. Before you could turn, Embry’s shouted. “Jacob, stop it.”

You spun around, your mind racing. How does he know about the wolf? The thought left you unsettled, your mind raced for answers. “How do you know this?” you asked, shocked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jacob said, stepping closer. “You’re not gonna find him.”

“Just tell me, Jacob!” You felt a knot tightening in your chest. “Did you… follow me?” You tried to piece it together, wondering if he’d seen you when the cougar attacked. If he had, why hadn’t he stepped in?

“It doesn’t matter,” he snapped, his voice firm. “You’re not going. End of it.” In a swift motion, his fingers wrapped around your wrist, holding you in place. You tried to pull away, but his hold was firm.

“Listen to me, Jacob Black.” You met his gaze. “I don’t know how you found out, but I’m going there. Whether you like it or not.” You wrenched against his hold again, determined.

Then, suddenly, something changed in his eyes. His expression softened, anger fading into something raw and unguarded. “Can’t you see I’m trying to protect you?” His words struck you, and for a moment, you saw a vulnerability that threw you off balance.

You hesitated, feeling the weight of his gaze. He was right, maybe—but you weren’t ready to let your pride give way. That wolf didn’t even matter now. You probably were not gonna find him anyway. But you refused to back down no natter what. With a coldest voice you said “I don’t care.”

His eyes hardened, and without another word, he started pulling you back toward Embry. “Stop it!” you shouted, struggling against his hold, but he was too strong.

One final pull, and you knew you’d be dragged back.

In a last, desperate move, you raised your free hand and slapped him not to hard just enough to break his focus. His face didn’t even flinch, solid as stone, but his grip loosened.

For a heartbeat, he stared at you, expression unreadable, almost stunned. You expected him to say something but he didn’t. Then, as his jaw clenched, anger flickered in his eyes, more intense than before. Without a word, he released your hand and took a step back, keeping his gaze locked on you.

“You’re not going to stop until you see that wolf, are you?” he growled, his voice laced with anger and heavy breaths.

“What are you doing?” you asked, confusion was washing over you. Behind him, you heard Embry’s voice, tense and urgent as he listened in.

“Jacob, don’t!” he shouted, racing toward him.

But Jacob paid him no mind, stepping further back. “You will see now!” he shouted, his voice echoed through the forest.

Before you could understand the situation or fully Jacob’s reckless actions, you saw him leap towards you. “Jacob!” Embry’s voice echoed through the woods. Jacob’s all of his clothes shattered pieces then you saw something you never expected his body twisted in mid-air, muscles bulging and shifting beneath his skin. You heard the sickening crack of bones realigning, and your breath hitched in your throat.

He landed heavily, crouched low, eyes burning with an intensity. The figure in front of you wasn’t Jacob anymore. It was a wolf, with piercing, oversized eyes that seemed to glow in the moonlight.

His fur was a deep, rusty red, thick and tangled, and his nose was large, twitching as he picked up your scent. When he bared his sharp, shimmering teeth, you felt a chill run through you. That’s when it hit you: this was the wolf you’d been searching for—the one who had saved you.

For a moment, you forgot to breathe. The wolf’s growl shook you back to your senses, and with a gasp, you stumbled backward, falling to the ground. He took a step closer, his teeth bared, his eyes full with anger, as if he might attack.

Just then, you heard Embry’s voice, laced with shock. “Damn it” he muttered. You couldn’t believe what had just happened—Jacob had turned into a wolf. Not just any wolf. *The* wolf. Your heart pounded as Jacob’s growl echoed around you, his gaze intense, before he turned and disappeared into the woods.

You sat there, frozen in shock, until Embry rushed over, his face full of worry. “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he muttered to himself. “Sam’s going to kill Jacob.” He looked at you. “Are you okay?”

You couldn’t speak. He waved a hand in front of your face. “Are you in shock? Damn it.”

Finally, you whispered, “How… how is this possible?”

“Everything will be explained, I promise. At least now you know.” He helped you to your feet. “Come on. We need to get out of here.” As he led you away, you glanced back at the woods. “What about him?” you asked, your voice shaky.

“He just needs to cool down. He’ll catch up later.”

Nodding, you let Embry guide you, you couldn’t think straight. Your best friend had just turned into a wolf. The wolf that had saved you. How could any of this be real? You walked with Embry to his car parked nearby, feeling numb. When he opened the door, you slipped in silently, still processing.

Once he got into the driver’s seat, he looked over at you. “Are you okay?”

You nodded slowly, your voice barely a whisper. “But… I don’t understand. Jacob… he’s a wolf? How?”

“I’ll explain to you on our ways to Emily’s house i shouldn’t but you are gonna learn one way another. And the rest—you can ask Jacob when you see him.”

“You’re driving to whose house?” you asked, the weight of everything settling on you in a heavy, surreal way.

“Emily’s,” Embry said, starting the engine. “She’s Sam’s imprint… well, fiancée. We’re going to her place.”

“Wait, Sam has a fiancée? And what’s an imprint?” You shook your head, trying to keep up. “What’s even going on?”

“Just try to relax, Y/N. I’ll explain,” he said with a sigh. Then he started “As you saw, Jacob can turn into a wolf—just like the rest of our pack.”

“A pack ?” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper as you tried to process the idea. “So… you mean there are others who turn into wolves too?”

Embry nodded. “Yeah. There’s me, Jared, Paul, Quill, and Sam. He’s the alpha. And Jacob, of course.”

“All of you?” you asked, struggling to wrap your mind around it. “You can just… become wolves? and Sam is

the alpha what does that mean?

“Yep we all can” he said with a shrug, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Sam’s the alpha that means he’s our leader. He makes the calls for the pack. That’s why Jacob couldn’t tell you—he wasn’t allowed.”

“Jacob couldn’t tell me because Sam forbade him?” you murmured, feeling like each new revelation was just one more impossible thing to grasp. You rubbed your temples, trying to clear the fog in your mind.

“Exactly,” he confirmed, voice steady.

“Let me explain from the beginning.” He explained that this wolf-shifting ability had always existed in their tribe, but only certain things could trigger it. He said Jacob would explain that part later. Then he went on, “For a long time, none of us could change—until Sam shifted first. He went through it alone. How changing happening you asked “Its so hard painful mostly all your bones change place.”he said with a horrified face. He seemed like he didn’t wanna remember. Then he continued “Once Sam changed, the rest of us followed—Jared, Paul, me, Jacob, and then Quill. Quill is new still trying to figure out.”

You recognized some of the names, but thinking of Quill, Jacob’s friend,you felt sad for him trying to imagine his first changing send a shiver down to your spine. “So… you’re all part of a pack, with Sam as your leader?”

“Yeah,” Embry said. “We can shift whenever, but if we lose control of our anger, it happens on its own.” He glanced at you. “That’s why Jacob transformed in front of you. When you slapped him, he just… couldn’t hold it back.”

“Sorry,” you whispered, feeling like you were caught in some strange, waking dream.

“Don’t be. Honestly, we’re glad you know now. Jacob was going crazy keeping this from you, and it was affecting us too.”

“How could it affect you?” you asked, even as your mind struggled to keep up.

“Oh, that’s the fun part,” he said with a sarcastic voice. “When we’re in wolf form, we can hear each other’s thoughts. Our minds connect. It’s useful for patrols, but… we know everything about each other. No secrets.”

You could feel your jaw drop. “You can hear each other’s thoughts?” This was unbelievable.

He chuckled softly. “Yep. It’s rough at first—all those voices in your head. But you get used to it. Being a wolf has its unpleasant sides too.”

“It just sounds so… weird. And terrifying,” you said, the whole thing feeling like a strange, twisted fairy tale. “I mean, you turn into wolves and hear each other’s thoughts…”

“It’s strange at first,” Embry admitted. “But you get used to it eventually.”

“What about the cougar what about Jacob coming and saving me how did that happen?” you asked you’ve been wondering this all alone.

“Yeah, that part,” Embry said, shaking his head. “Nothing about it was planned. Jacob didn’t even know it was you out there.”

He paused for a moment. “He was just out on patrol when he heard the cougar. He thought maybe someone was trespassing.” he stopped for a second before keep going “Then, when he got closer and realized it was you, he freaked out and took down the cougar to protect you. But… what were you even doing out there alone?” He looked at you, confused.

“I was just… lost,” you murmured, feeling embarrassed.

Embry shook his head like not agreeing what you did. “We all knew what he did. We were going to come help, but Jacob told us to stay back, said having the whole pack show up would probably just scare you. He even asked Sam if he could walk you out of the woods himself. Leaving you there with a dead cougar didn’t feel right. But, of course, that didn’t stop you from coming back.”

He shot you a mildly judgmental look, and you felt even more embarrassed. “For the next two days You come back knowing all the danger we watched you from a distance. Jacob had a feeling you’d come back again, so he got Sam’s permission to try and talk you out of it. And, well… then all this happened.”

You nodded slowly, the realization sinking in—it was Jacob all along. You’d gone to the woods to escape the thoughts of him, hoping to clear your mind. But in the end, he was the one who found you, the one who saved you.

A quiet sense of fear filled you, mixed with the lingering ache of confusion. Now Jacob hadn’t just saved you from danger; he’d opened a door to an entirely different world—and to the truth behind his distance and silence. What you were gonna do after meeting him. You said all awful things to him. But he was just trying to protect you. To pass the thoughts

“Anything else I should know about you guys?” you asked. You were still thinking what you were gonna say when you met Jacob.

“Well, we’re really strong.” He flexed his biceps with a grin. You hadn’t noticed it before, but he’d bulked up a lot. “We’re super fast, and we heal quickly.”

“Heal quickly?”

“Yeah. If I broke my arm, it’d be fine in a few hours. Still hurts, though.”

You just shook your head, dazed. “This… it doesn’t even feel real.”

He smiled sympathetically. “I get it. It’s a lot to take in, but it’s all true.”

“And Sam… why couldn’t Jacob just ignore him and tell me?”

Embry explained, “Because Sam’s the alpha, we’re physically unable to disobey him. It hurts if we try. That’s why Jacob couldn’t tell you. And it’s supposed to be a secret from anyone outside the tribe.”

“But now I know,” you said, looking out the window as trees whipped by. You felt like you were drifting through some surreal, impossible dream.

“Yeah, you learned by accident,” Embry said, then hesitated. “I wonder if Jacob did it on purpose.” He looked over at you, then shrugged. “Anyway, Jacob would’ve convinced Sam eventually. Since He is ” then he immediately stopped like he was saying something he shouldn’t.

You looked at him, puzzled. “He is what?”

“Uh… it’s better if Jacob tells you,” Embry mumbled, looking away. “Anyway, we’re here.”

You realized you’d arrived at a small house. All you could do was stare, trying to steady your racing thoughts.

“Ah this is Emily’s place,” you said, barely registering your own words. “And you said she’s Sam’s… imprint? What does that mean?”

“An imprint is something special for us,” Embry explained. “It’s like finding your soulmate. There’s this deep bond with that person, like Sam has with Emily.”

“So it’s… love?” you asked, hardly believing the words.

“Sort of. It’s… hard to describe. I dont know exactly how it its i didn’t experience it. But they say it’s like gravity pulling you toward that person. You can be their friend, or something more… it just depends.”

Well that’s something you talked to yourself then “Does Jacob have an imprint?” you asked wondered. In the past of course Jacob had some girlfriends but it was never something that last long. This imprint thing sounded more serious.

Embry glanced at you. “You’ll have to ask Jacob yourself. Anyway lets get inside. Im starving. and… just a heads-up—try not to stare at Emily’s face. Sam doesn’t like it.”

“Why?” you asked as both of you got out of the car.

“You’ll understand when you see her,” he said, walking briskly toward the house. You followed, still trying to piece together this new world he’d shown you, a thousand questions wondering around your head would have to wait.

You stepped inside, following Embry through the doorway. The house was cozy, the entry opening to a small kitchen. A girl stood by the sink, her back to you. To the right, a dining table was set up, and beyond that, you could glimpse a comfortable-looking living room. The atmosphere felt warm and lived-in, though you could feel the tension rising in your chest as you took it all in.

“Hey, Emily,” Embry greeted as he sat down at the table.

“Hey, Embry. Where are your brothers?” she asked, turning slightly. That’s when you saw her face—a long scar stretched from her cheek to her jaw, looking like a deep claw mark. Now you understood why Sam didn’t want people staring.

“Oh, and who’s this?” Emily asked, noticing you.

Embry smiled. “This is Y/N. Y/N, meet Emily.”

Emily reached out a hand and smiled. “Hi there! So you’re Jacob’s friend. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Yeah…” you murmured while shaking her hand gently wondering what Jacob had said about you. She looked at Embry waiting for an answer probably why were you here.

Embry noticed and explained, “Jacob was trying to keep Y/N out of the woods, but things got complicated. Y/N slapped him, and… well, Jacob lost control and changed in front of her. So now she knows everything.”

Emily’s eyes widened before she relaxed, nodding. “Going into the woods alone, even after that cougar attack—that’s pretty bold,” she said with a small smirk.

You blushed. “Yeah… I guess.” You wondered why everyone kept bringing up that you’d been out there alone.

“I’m just kidding,” she said, laughing softly. “Don’t worry—everything will start making sense in time.” Her smile was warm and kind. “Welcome to the family.”

“Thank you,” you managed to speak, her warmth easing your nerves a bit.

“Come on, sit down,” she said, motioning to the table. “I made plenty of pancakes—I swear, these boys can eat a mountain.” before placing a bunch of pancakes to the table.

Embry immediately started eating, barely coming up for air. You watched in surprise as he shoveled the food down, laughing as he noticed your expression. “Don’t eat them all, Embry,” Emily scolded with a grin. “Where’s everyone else?”

Just then, you heard voices and laughter outside. Your heart raced—you were about to see the rest of the pack. And Jacob.

Quill came in first. “Hey, Y/N! What’s up?” he greeted casually, sitting down as if this was any normal day. Before you could respond, Paul and Jared followed, playfully shoving each other.

“Hi, Y/N!” they both said, making you feel like part of their world, even though everything felt so new.

“Pancakes? Awesome!” Paul said, grinning as he sat down. You moved aside to make room for them, watching as they all dug in with enthusiasm. Then Sam entered, and the whole room seemed to shift. He looked serious, like he was used to leading.

“Y/N,” he greeted with a nod before turning to Emily and giving her a quick kiss.

“Eww,” Jared teased, though Sam’s stern look and Emily’s laugh made it clear he wasn’t really upset. You couldn’t help but smile at their easy bond.

As you watched everyone settle in, you felt that familiar nervousness creep up, wondering where Jacob was. Then you heard your name again, spoken softly.

“Y/n”

You turned and saw Jacob, and your heart felt heavy at the sight of him. He was back in his human form, in clean clothes, but he looked somehow different now, a little bit shamed.

“You two should talk,” Sam said, nodding toward the door. “Though I’m sure Embry’s already filled you in.” He shot Embry a knowing look.

Embry, his mouth full, just shrugged. “It was gonna happen anyway,” he mumbled.

The others laughed, and Jacob looked at you. “Come on. Let’s go outside,” he said quietly.

Without a word, you followed him, unsure of what to say or even where to start. You trailed behind him, your mind racing. How could you possibly explain the things you’d said to him? The regret weighed heavy as you walked, hoping somehow, he’d understand.

Jacob led you deep into the forest, his steps steady but silent. When he finally stopped, he turned slowly, looking at you as if seeing you for the first time. His expression softened, a faint, almost sad smile breaking through the stillness in his eyes. He took a breath, as if steadying himself.

“So now you know,” he murmured, voice low. “The reason behind all.”

Your voice caught in your throat, and you felt the words hang heavy between you. “Jacob… Im so sorry i didn’t understand. I thought you didn’t care anymore. I said so many things. Awful things. Im so sorry i didn’t meant any of it.” A tear escaped down your cheek.

Jacob reached out, brushing the tear away with his thumb, his touch warm and gentle. “Hey,” he whispered, his voice so soft it was almost a breath. “Don’t cry. If anyone should be sorry, it’s me.”

You could feel the pain in his gaze as he held your face gently, like you were something fragile. “I never wanted to hurt you, Y/N,” he said, his voice tight with regret. “Keeping you in the dark, making you feel like you didn’t matter… if I could go back and change it, I would. Every day, I wanted to tell you. But Sam...”

“I know.” Your voice was barely a whisper, but he leaned in, as if he couldn’t bear to miss a single word. “Embry told me everything. It wasn’t your fault.” You looked down, ashamed. “I just… I didn’t realize you were trying to protect me. And I— I hurt you. I said you were no friend of mine. I even slapped you, Jacob. God, I’m so sorry.”

He let out a small laugh, trying to lighten the weight of your apology. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t feel a thing,” he joked, his lips quirking up into a faint smile. But his eyes still held a flicker of pain, and he hesitated, his voice quieter. “You’re not… afraid of me now, are you? Knowing what I am?”

“Jacob, no.” You stepped closer without hesitation. “I could never be afraid of you. You’re my friend… and you’re the one who saved me.”

His expression darkened at that, his tone sharpening. “Yeah, about that. What were you thinking, going into the woods alone, Y/N? Do you have any idea what could’ve happened? When I saw you out there with that cougar…” His voice caught, and he exhaled sharply. “If I hadn’t been there….”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, the apology so small it was almost swallowed by the silence around you.

“And why did you come back again?” he pressed, eyes searching yours. “You were in danger once already. Why did you come looking for trouble?”

You hesitated, feeling a wave of shame. “The first time, I got lost. My dad told me to go for a walk… so I would—” You stopped, unable to finish. He tilted his head, urging you to continue.

“So you would… what?”

“…so I’d stop feeling sad about you,” you finally admitted, swallowing hard. It felt vulnerable, exposing the ache you’d been carrying. “After we talked in the truck, I just… I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d lost you. That maybe… something was wrong with me. My dad thought a walk would clear my mind, but I wandered too far. Then you saved me… as a wolf.” You glanced down, voice barely a murmur. “I didn’t know it was you. I thought maybe… I don’t know. Maybe you were some kind of angel or something, watching out for me.”

“Y/N…” His voice broke, and he took your hands gently, cradling them between his own. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who let you down, who left you out there without knowing the truth.” He took a breath, pulling you closer, his arms wrapping around you. “I should have been there for you. I’m so sorry. All I wanted was to keep you safe, but instead, I made you feel abandoned.”

You let yourself sink into his embrace, feeling his steady heartbeat as he held you close. Every unspoken word, every unshed tear, seemed to melt away in that moment. Slowly, he pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his hands still resting on your sides.

“I’m going to make this right, Y/N. I swear it,” he promised, his voice filled with so much certainty and compassion that it made your heart ache. “No more secrets. No more pushing you away. You deserve better than that.”

“No more secrets you repeated.” he looked at you deeply his eyes steady yet burdened. His gaze held a flicker of fear, the tension lying beneath the soft lines of his expression.

"Look, Y/N," he started, his voice quiet, “it wasn’t just about Sam not letting me tell you.” He hesitated, as if weighing the impact of what he was about to say. “This… being a wolf… it’s dangerous.”

You nodded, thinking back to Emily, her scar. “I saw Emily’s face,” you whispered.

Jacob’s jaw tightened. “Yeah. Sam lost control. He shifted, and she was right there.” His voice dropped, heavy with the weight of his fear. “If something like that happened to you…” His words trailed off, but the way his gaze held yours spoke so much.

Reaching up, you placed your hand gently on his cheek. “Jacob, you won’t hurt me. I trust you. We’ll be careful. I wont make you angry. And besides, it’s different with us. Emily and Sam are together; we’re friends. I won’t be in any danger like that.”

“Yeah friends.” He repeated the word softly, almost as though it left a bittersweet taste. His face darkened for a moment, but he quickly shook it off. “I’m better at controlling my anger now. Don’t worry. Besides,” he gave a small smile, “I probably couldn’t have kept it a secret from you much longer anyway.”

You laughed, feeling a bit lighter. “Embry even suggested you might’ve shifted on purpose just so I’d find out.”

Jacob smirked, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Well, let’s just say it helped a lot.” You both shared a small laugh, the tension easing, but then he took your hand, his fingers warm and reassuring. “Come on, let’s keep walking. So… what else did Embry spill?”

“Oh, not everything. Just that you’re strong and fast and can heal quickly. And that you can all… read each other’s minds.” You glanced at him, feeling a trace of concern. “Are you okay with all of this? Being a wolf?”

He shrugged, his gaze far away. “I didn’t even know about it until a few months ago. It just… happened. One day, I shifted, and there was no going back. Adapting to it was hard. Sam and the others helped me, but it… it took everything familiar and turned it upside down.” He paused, tightening his hold on your hand. “It was harder without you knowing.”

Your heart ached as you looked at him, remembering the old Jacob you’d known before. In a few months, he grew a lot—not just in size, but also in mind from all he’d been through. “So… you don’t like it?”

A shadow crossed his face. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve learned to accept it. Its in my blood its not a choice. I cant change who i am.”

Then Jacob’s face softened, and he gave a little smile. “So, what else did Embry tell you?” he asked, his tone lighter as he tried to steer the conversation into more different things.

“Well, he mentioned how the shifts are triggered, but he wouldn’t tell me what causes it. He said you’d explain,” you replied, curiosity lingering in your voice.

Jacob let out a scoff, shaking his head. “Embry really did tell you almost everything, didn’t he?” His expression grew serious, and his voice softened. “Listen, Y/N, the trigger… it’s something I can’t share with you. Not because I don’t trust you, but because it’s safer for you not to know. We’re not always together, and if you knew… it could put you in danger.”

You gave a reassuring nod. He already told you more he should you trusted him maybe it was better you to not know everything “I understand. I trust you, Jacob. You’ve told me so much already, and I know you’re only keeping it to protect me.” You smiled, hoping he’d see how sincere you were.

He also talked about imprinting you said while still walking. “Did he ?” he said again with a sarcastic voice. Obviously he didn’t like Embry telling you everything.

You nodded. “Yes, he said Emily’s Sam’s imprint.” There was a pause, and then, almost shyly, you asked, “Do you… have an imprint?”

For a moment, he looked taken aback. “Me?” His brows raised, then he laughed warmly. “No, I don’t have an imprint, Y/N. It’s rare, and not something that happens to everyone.”

You exhaled, realizing you’d been holding your breath. “I just… I remember what it was like when you had a girlfriend. If you did imprint on someone, I thought maybe things would change between us. Since we got together recently.”

Jacob grinned, the corners of his eyes creasing. “No girlfriend either, so you can relax.” He murmured something under his breath that you barely hear.

“Did you say something?” you asked, tilting your head.

He shook his head, chuckling. “Just muttering.” His gaze softened, his eyes warm as they met yours. “You know, everything feels… brighter now that you know. Like I can finally be myself.”

You nodded slowly, feeling the weight of his words sink in, grounding you. “It does. Somehow, the world doesn’t seem so heavy anymore.” You offered him a small, genuine smile, one that felt like it came from a place you’d kept hidden for too long.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The silence wasn’t empty—it was full, like something unspoken had finally been understood between you. The past few months of confusion and hurt had finally settled. Everything was lighter, as if the weight had lifted.

Felt like this was a new beginning, for you and Jacob.

[urfavlarry]

—Why’d you only call me when your high?

Sirius Black x fem!reader A/N: I am new to the marauders fandom so if the characters are out of character I apologise. I am open to feedback and tips<3

You sat in your room, warm blankets spread over you and your bed with warm jasmine tea in your hands. You were at home to celebrate the upcoming chritsmas day, deciding to skip staying at Hogwarts and celebrating with your friends for the year which wasn’t really a big problem; most of your friends happy that you would be able to the spend that special day with your family when some of then didn’t have that chance.

One particular person wasn’t so happy you left for the holidays and that person was none other then Sirius Black; your ex from 4th year. He was a nice guy, but it hurt you that he never really cared to aknowledge you and your feelings. It ended once you had seen him with some Gryffindor girl you couldn’t care less to remember which to put it lightly had been the last of your patience. Ever since then you’d barely cross paths; whether it be because he was scared to face you, or he simply never really cared for you at all which wouldn’t have surprised you, not one bit. You looked over to your ‘memory box’ as you liked to call it and got out of bed, opening the old and dusty thing to get hit with nostalgias warmth, yet cruel coldness.

A dried rose Sirius had given you the say he asked you out, the guitar pick he threw your way one day when you went to see the boys performing in a small pub in Hogsmeade and none other then a polaroid photo of the two of you kissing on Sirius’ birthday; taken by James with the camera Sirius had just gotten from his friends.

You smiled softly, looking back at those moments when you were truly happy and enjoying life at the wizarding school but ever since that day when everything had gone down hill it felt like something in your heart was empty. A certain spot that was made for one person only, and that person was Sirius. You missed him dearly, you couldn’t lie to yourself anymore and with everything you had going on, being in his arms was truly the only thing you wanted. You wanted your ‘rockstar’ no one else.

“Y/N, someone’s on the phone wanting to talk to you!” Your mother stormed in and you quickly closed the box, putting it behind your back. “Bloody hell mom, you ever heard of knocking?” An intimidating glare from your mother got you to quickly shut up and head downstairs where the cellphone was located, your father down the hall in the living room watching something on the TV while your mother prepared dinner. “Hello? This is Y/N speaking.” You say into the phone and wince as the loud sounds of music and chatter fills your ears. “Hey doll, I miss you.” A very familiar voice slurs, giving you chills. “Sirius.” You say through gritted teeth, your grip on the phone tightening. “S’me! Your rockstar!~” He giggles and starts mumbling incoherent things. Your heart aches, having thought enough about him for the day but it was like someone was against you and brought you together again, even if it was just a mere phone call. “Sirius Orion Black, where are you?”

“Aw, come on love don’t be angry w’me.” He sighs, his words slurred and almost desperate as if he was waiting to talk to you the whole night. “Everythin’ hurtss.. M’tired Y/N.”

“Sirius, tell me where you are I’m coming to get you.” After what felt like a millennium of trying to get him to say the address, you were on your feet and out of the house. A feeling of excitement and longing was pulsing through you like a wild fire, a sort of happiness you haven’t felt in a while. The cold breeze of Londons harsh weather was slowly hitting you, cursing your forgetfulness and for being so foolish as to forget your jacket mid November.

Sirius on the other hand has never really moved on from your warmth he so longed for after never actually appreciating it those years ago. He missed the way you’d walk past him in the halls, giving him the cutest smile even when it was evident you’d been struggling that day with something of your own. The way you would give him affection like it was simply overflowing you and you being the sweetest soul out there had the need to share the said affection. He missed everything, the way your eyes would light up whenever he gave you tickets to his ‘shows’ and the way you always cheered him on no matter the circumstance; he hated that he took it all for granted when he quite literally had it all.

His urge to talk to you was just too hard to contain anymore and in his drunken state ten fold which lead to him giving you a call during the late night hours of which he was invited to a party by his mates who even encouraged him to approach you somehow or give you a hint that he was interested; yet again.

It all just felt so unreal when he finally heard your sweet voice again, his brain so foggy and dazed from the alcohol he forgot he ever even thought of letting his mind slip to another woman. It was just like old times to him when he would call you at parties, updating you on his whereabouts and you being you always tended to pick him up because you worried for him and his wellbeing. You were the reason he quit smoking for a while before everything went wrong and your comforting, thoughtful words went along with you. ´I was s’stupid..´ He thought to himself, resting his head into the cold palms of his hands, his eyes drooping and mind falling asleep when he got harshly tugged by the collar and up onto his feet.

And there you were, his angel right before him looking as gorgeous as ever. However you did look like you were about to kill whoever crossed your path of wrath. The car ride to your home was mostly silent, soft snores could be heard from the passanger seat as you eyed the hand that was rested on your thigh. “Stupid Black, stupid, stupid Sirius Black.” You said through gritted teeth, your cheeks reddening with rage yet embarrassment as you scolded yourself for melting from such a simple touch.

Once you got home you woke him up with a slap to the cheek, the poor boy jolting awake from the sudden sting. “Jeez doll, w’was that for?” He groaned, stumbling out the car and heading towards you, pulling you into an embrace. You inhaled his scent, a hint of cigarettes, alcohol and his cologne that has never really changed over the years filled your nose. “You’ve been smoking again, haven’t you?” You said, looking up at him with a stern look while he just smirked. “A guy needs a cancer stick, or two sometimes.” He jokes, giving you a sheepish smile. You rolled your eyes and dragged him inside your home, quickly pulling him up the stairs to your room which you locked just in case your mom decided to burst in again in the middle of the night like she did just a few hours ago. “Yeah i’ll be saying that once they’ll be burying you into your grave, Black.” You hissed, looking through your things for a spare shirt your dad borrowed you not long ago and throw it at him.

“Change, the bathroom is that door right there if your two drunk to notice.” “Exactly like you didn’t notice my feelings back in fourth year.” You mumbled the last part, changing into your own pyjamas once he left for the bathroom. “Fucking asshole.” You say into your pillow once you let yourself fall face first onto your bed with a soft thud. A few minutes later Sirius came out with nothing but the shirt and pyjama pants you found that belonged to your older brother who had moved away once he ended his studies.

Before you could get a single word out he plopped down onto the bed next to you, nuzzling his face into your neck, one hand under your shirt on your lower back and the second holding onto you.

Your heart fluttered, the once empty place in your heart now full which felt so, so wrong after such a long time of hating and pushing away anything to do with the boy that was now laying in your bed, cuddled into your side. “I love you Y/N.” He whispers into your ear, something you missed so dearly and now you had it and damn it was kind of weird. How the hell could you have fallen in love again with the same boy that has treated you like nothing less then shit over the few months you were together; how could you let your heart long for such a person but just why, why did it feel so right?

“Why? Why do you love me Sirius?” You whispered in disbelief, the words slipping out so naturally like you’ve been dreaming to ask him that since you broke up. “Why should I believe you love me when all you’ve done in the past is hurt me? Don’t perceive me as so naive I won’t let you into my heart so easily again.” Lies. Lies, Lies, Lies. You’ve already let him in but you just couldn’t accept it. You couldn’t have possibly let him in so easily, right? Impossible.

“I know I was foolish, I shouldn’t have taken you for granted. Your sweet soul, charming smile, thoughtful words and loving personality is what I admire about you. You were supportive and always by my side, something I didn’t appreciate and should’ve. The way your touch feels is heavenly and I long for that feeling, I sleep so I can feel your touch but even in my dreams a big piece of my heart is missing. It’s missing you, Y/N. I miss my girl.”

“It’s been years and I know I fucked up, like really fucked up but I love you and want to live the rest of my life with you and by your side. No more hurting you, no more pushing you away and I can say with pure honesty that I will never as much as glance at another girl in such a way ever again. Please, darling I need you by my side, through thick and thin i’ll always be here and never again be disloyal to you just please give me a chance.”

His words sink into you like daggers, but in a good way. It was all you needed to hear, everything you ever wanted to spill from his mouth all those years ago and your heart would’ve been his even the same day he messed up. An apology. A genuine, thought through apology. You smile softly, cupping his cheek. “I missed my boy.”

That was all he needed to hear and his lips were on yours, the kiss being soft, slow and loving. It was like your lips were meant for just each other and no one else, like you two were made for one another.

You finally had your darling boy, the one that has kept you up with tears and a sense of loneliness every single night from that dreadful year at Hogwarts. Now you finally had it all again, and Sirius couldn’t agree more. He had his angel and you had your rockstar, forever together never to part ways again.

© URFAVLARRY

DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE OR COPY ANY OF MY WRITING TO OTHER PLATFORMS

[nynjournal]

Solar Return Chart Analysis

So I’m just gonna do an analysis of my SR simply bc I’m bored and I’m distracting myself from a man (unfortunately)

TW/CW: disordered eating & mental health

Libra AC in 27’

Leo sun, 10th house, 26’

Aquarius Moon, 4th hour, 12’

Leo mercury, 10th house, 26’ r

Virgo Venus, 11th hour, 16’

Gemini mars, 8th house, 19’

Gemini Jupiter, 8th house, 17’

Pisces Saturn, 5th house, 17’ r

Taurus Uranus, 5th house, 27’

Pisces Neptune, 5th house, 29’ r

Aquarius Pluto, 4th house, 0’ r

Aries North Node, 6th house, 7’ (CW)

Aries Chiron, 6th house, 23’ (CW)

Cancer MC, 29’

So right off the bat, this is going to be a stream of thoughts fyi

I’m noticing a lot of critical degrees, I got a 5th house stellium, retrograde planets. I got the oppositions but that’s normal in my own chart esp Leo and Aquarius.

I’m a Leo sun with 26’ natally so my ego is still the same lmao, More emphasis on career and how I’m being perceived. Which is true at the time of writing this, I’ve found a job that I love but I’m placing more emphasis on how I’m being perceived professionally and which company I’d to actual work for. I think just balancing my self and my ego in that type of way and realizing I need to shine. My thoughts align with this though, I often struggle to put it into words or how I communicate. Definitely really need to think about what I’m trying to actually say (Retrograde mercury and it’s 3’ off from my bc) I’m also struggling with gossip I’m noticing so far; we’re definitely gonna see how this pans out.

(CW) Aquarius moon is an interesting one, esp bc it’s the 4th house. Would mean I need to place emphasis on detachment especially in terms of the weight of the emotions I feel within my home. Which makes sense since I still live at home and would like to move out but I’m feeling more so caged in emotionally and that restriction isn’t necessarily making my mental health any better. Also with the relationship with my mother (hopefully) finally gets better or at least we can understand each other. The moon feels at home in the 4th house, so while this is more ‘easy’ flowing energy. Basically I’m in tune with this feeling and I feel like it’s obvious.

Virgo Venus is the same except it’s in the 11th house and 16’. I think this year I should be more so focused on my friendships and those I choose to surround myself. It’s also holding those that I choose to hold around me to a higher standard rather just having folks around. I’m cherishing them and nurturing them but also having to actually use discernment with who are actually there for me especially with this being in a cancer degree it’s focusing on my friends from my home town and who respects me and my boundaries. Which I had an issue happen involving that recently.

Gemini Mars in 8th house with 19’; I can interpret this in a multitude of ways. Naturally the drive to push through transformation and achieving I would say an unconventional approach to tackling debt. This is a wild card placement so my interpretation is a bit off

Gemini Jupiter in 8th house with 17’; honestly I think Jupiter is really truly my friend. Like he really got my back, with mars and Jupiter in such close conjunction esp in the 8th house. This amplifies the heavy energy that’s the 8th house, however I view this is either I plunge deeper into debt with my obsession of luxury or face it and tackle my debt in a more pragmatic aggressive approach.

Pisces Saturn in 5th house with 17’; Saturn is naturally in my 5th house so I live with a struggle on truly expressing my creative talents publicly and with Pisces here it’s going to take another deeper plunge into the unknown away from everyone. My love life is definitely filled with delusions, and not gonna happen this sr year which I’ve made peace with. It’s definitely giving hopeless romantic and I’m not sure what to do with energy so let’s pour it into my passions, or live in daydreams pick one. Hopefully the retrograde helps the energy flows easier.

Taurus Uranus, 5th house with 27’; More unconventional approach to finances, way I express myself creatively. Trying a new approach within my sexual relationships (with Saturn it’s probably me being single since I haven’t been properly single) I think it’s carving a deeper version of finding a way to give myself some self love and discovery. Approaching my creative projects, hopefully this with the discipline to finish them, investing into them.

Pisces Neptune, 5th house with 29’; once again the critical degrees. Delusion bean, I’m joking but Neptune is at home here, though it’s in retrograde. Expressing self love within my spiritual practices and I think just completely hopefully integrating it deeper within my life and reaching a newer and higher understanding. Essentially building this growth within myself deeply. At least that’s how I’d like to interpret it.

(CW) Aquarius Pluto, 4th house 0’; she’s in her element, in terms of Aquarius pluto. I think it’s the restructuring of how I view my home life, re-evaluating the way I live. Just like the destruction of how I view my home life and what to do about it. I’d like to move but it’s not a right time so building as to how I’m going to move. Not letting social media influence the way I view my living situation and hamper on my mental health. That’s how I view it.

(CW) Aries NN, 6th house, 7’: let’s focus on health. Actually focus on my health, however I’m at odds at how I should approach the way I work and balance my health. It’s trying to find the fine balance, between a chaotic work life balance. Which I constantly am trying to find the balance bc oh boy I’m struggling.

(CW) Aries Chiron, 6th house 23’; Unexpected things happening within my health. And how it ties in to my job. Aries technically rules the head which how I’m going to interpret this is my mental health is definitely tied to my actual physical health. Honestly I’m struggling with my diet and how I perceive myself. I’m having severe disordered eating issues, jumping between struggling to eat and binge eating. I’m working 12hrs some days without eating. Then I struggle to even eat, it’s been a pain to get myself to eat. And I just been beating myself up when I do eat, then I’m just on social media and hating myself because I don’t look like a model. It’s been just aggressive cycling of my emotions and how I am perceiving myself.

Cancer MC 29’; again critical degrees, I’m emotional about my job, but I love her. Building an emotional bond, id like to say just finding my own path in terms of my career and how I can emotionally approach it. I feel at home with whatever I end up with at the end of my sr year. Maybe potentially being carful with who I interact with professionally/potential to build some emotional bonds with more people.

I didn’t do aspects because honestly I feel like I’d be here for awhile and this post is already long enough as is. I hope this helps anyone if it doesn’t oh well off it goes into the void. I used degree theory obviously, with just general traditional and modern approaches in terms of analysis of the signs, as well as placidus houses. I used my home/birth town for this, even though I was abroad on my birthday. I’m writing monthly observations so that’ll get posted soonish.

[guardian-angle22]

So I guess it’s canon that Carlos didn’t had a wedding with Iris? Since Owen described Carlos & TK as “such rookies” about wedding.

Or maybe everyone forgot to inform Owen of Carlos’ wife while he was busy with his 4th midlife crisis turned FBI sting? 🤣

I do find it funny that the writers have basically ignored the 'Carlos having wife situation' ever since 4.04. Owen also said at the end of episode 6 something along the lines of “when it’s your first wedding, and hopefully there won’t be a second, you have a tendency to…” as a lead in for him to talk about his opinions (or something similar to that, I didn’t go back and check). And they’re apparently still on this wild 8 week timeline even though we haven’t heard a status on the divorce. It’s almost like we’re supposed to act like Carlos in seasons 1 through 3 and forget his first marriage ever happened.

I’m wondering if we’ll get any comment from Andrea next week that will confirm they never had a real wedding. Something along the lines of ~not being able to help plan a wedding the first time you got married~ or if Andrea and Carlos will finally have a discussion about everything in general. My expectations are low, but honestly a good conversation between those two about the root of Carlos’ past decisions would maybe be the only way that storyline would have been worth it for me.

I don't have an applicable reaction gif, so have a random Paul:

[lolliesinthewind]

baby, later, please?

| jesse eisenberg!character x tall!black fem reader|

Content Warnings: unprotected Sex, sub!reader, established relationship, workplace sex, oral sex (m and fem receiving), oral fixation, mean!dom character, him doing wild shit to her so be ready babes<3

(a/n: this is based on a movie idea i made

sorry if it seems very rushed at the end bc it is😖😖

minors dni

third pov:

‘where is he at?’ the brown woman muttered while checking the time. ‘it's almost time for his meeting.’

as she was about to stand up from her desk, she got a message from him.

"come to the 4th floor." the text said the period, in the end, scared her because he never texted her with a period at the end, he only did that with serious messages. getting up from her desk, she walked as fast as she could in her high heels, almost tripping when she got into the elevator.

pushing the button to the 4th floor. she remembered that the floor she was going to was under renovation, which made her even more confused. a ding shocked her out of her thoughts as the elevator doors opened.

walking into the dimly lit hallway, all she heard was the tarp under her red bottom stilettos. looking around, she saw another dim light coming from the room. walking towards the room, she whispered his name. the sound of something falling behind her made her whip her head around.

"sweetheart?" his voice said, out of nowhere, scaring her. jumping away from him, causing him to catch the dark-skinned woman. "why are you yelling?" he asked, amused by her fear.

"why am i yelling, you told me to come to this creepy ass place."

"i’m sorry, baby. i just wanted some alone time with you," he said, helping her stand up.

with a deadpan face she said, "some alone time. we could have had that in our office."

"yeah i know, but i wanted to christen this floor before it's fully renovated," he said, pulling her in close to him.

"baby, we can do this later," looking at her watch, "you have a meeting in 30 minutes, so baby later, please?", she said, turning away from him.

grabbing her hand, he tugged the brown woman towards him, wrapping his arms around her waist. standing on his tiptoes, "i promise to be fast," he whispered in her ear sending a shiver up her body, "plus i’ll be as mean as you want."

"really?"

"yeah baby, real mean," he said, shoving his hand through the waistband of her short pencil skirt and pulling her underwear up against her clit, making her squeal and grab his hand.

yanking his hand away from her, she turned around and took a deep breath. "we can do this but you have to be fast, ok." she said pointing a finger at him.

"ok baby, i understand you. now come ‘ere," he said before pulling her head down into a kiss. with her hands on his cheeks and his gripping onto her waist, stumbled into the dimly lit room from before. taking off their suit jackets on the way, with him setting his phone on the shelf beside him, moving away from her lips he sucked and bit his way down to her tits as he leaned against the wall behind him.

ripping her buttoned blouse, revealing her tits. he pulled one out of the black bra she was wearing and began to suck on her brown nipple, making her whimper. with one of her hands woven into his short and curly locks while the other was gripping the back of his neck, she tugged him closer to her, making him inhale her scent, which made him go crazy even more.

with fast movements, he tugged the woman’s skirt up to bunch around her waist, as before he yanked her black underwear up against making her squeal once again. his other hand took her other tit out of her bra, moving to that one.

the dark-skinned woman’s mind was hazy but she still could think. opening her eyes she looked down and saw him looking up at her with a dark look in his eyes, a low moan escaped her as a wave of pleasure went through her body.

"more please." she stuttered her voice soft with pleasure.

"you want more baby?"

she nodded yes, "ok then sweetheart, i got you." he said with a grin on his face.

letting go of her underwear, he slid his further down till he got to her clit, rubbing it through her thoroughly drenched panties. in a swift movement, he tugged her panties to the side, sliding a finger inside of her slick walls. gasping at the action, the woman pushed her hips back.

biting his lip the man slowly started to pump his finger in and out of her, going faster every time he heard her moan. adding another finger to mix he pumped harder, the sound of her moans and her wetness was music to his ear.

"i’m gonna cum." she whined, holding onto his button-up shirt, her acrylic nails digging into his skin. hearing her words, the man took his fingers out of her and began rubbing her clit fast.

bucking her hips and arching her back, she came on his fingers, letting out a loud and pornographic moan that gave him a high, unlike any drug. with weakened knees, she dropped to her knees holding onto his leg as she came down from her orgasm. he tilted his head to the side, looking at her quivering form below him.

reaching down, he took the claw clip from her hair and tugged on her braids, making her look up at him, "you look so pretty down there, baby" he cooed now holding her chin, "how about i make you look prettier."

already knowing what to do, she opened her mouth strings of saliva connecting her plump two-toned lips. He groaned and moved his cum covered fingers up and down her tongue, gagging her when he got too close.

"unbutton my pants, sweetheart," he ordered, his voice heavy, his words making her half-lidded eyes snap wide into his darkened ones. not looking away from his eyes, the woman made quick work of his pants and underwear, letting them bunch around his knees.

taking his cock into her hand she began to stroke him softly as he took his saliva-drenched fingers out of her mouth. as soon as he did that, she stopped stroking him and started to lick his cock from bottom to top, making him wet with precum and drool. she scooted to an angle where she could suck him off, she also trapped his foot between her ample thighs knocking her overstimulated clit against his shoe, making her whimper sending vibrations to him.

with one hand on his bare thigh and the other holding the base of his cock, she took him into her hot mouth until she gagged, the sound making him twitch in her mouth. holding both sides of her head, the man began to pump himself into her mouth, groaning with every soft thrust. hearing his moans was arousing just like her moans were to him, wanting some type of friction while wiggling her hips, the woman knocked her sensitive clit on his black oxfords again making her moan once again. the vibrations from her moans were addicting. wanting more of them he thrusts deep enough and held her there.

"rub yourself against my shoe," he ordered, his voice thick with lust. obediently obeying his command, she moved both hands to his leg and started to roll her hips on his leather shoe. To any other person, what they were doing would’ve seemed so strange, but to them, it's a normal occurrence that leaves her in a haze.

watching her hump his shoes as he was balls deep in her throat it gave the shorter man a sense of purpose, wanting to do more to the taller woman’s trembling body. pulling out slowly he felt behind himself looking for his phone on the metal shelf. he grabbed it and fumbled with it going to the camera. with only his tip in her mouth, the man started recording himself, thrusting his dick slowly into her wet mouth, releasing his bitten lip as he moaned loudly.

"fuck baby, look up, look up at the camera baby," he whined, staring down at the woman's previously brown-glossed lips, which now made a ring at the base of his dick.

heeding his commands, she looked up but couldn’t really see as the flash of his camera blocked her vision. her eyes watered even more as she continued to suck his dick, her head bobbing with his flushed pink tip hitting the back of her throat. The older male was over the moon with how he was feeling, but he wanted more. he wanted to be deep inside of her and hear her beautiful moans, whines, and whimpers. his cock twitched in the woman's mouth at the thought. he stopped his thrusting.

confused as to why he stopped, she watched him sit his phone up against a box on the shelf, still recording. he pulled out her mouth and tugged her up. she whimpered from the loss of pleasure but soon gasped as he turned her around and bent her over a spare desk in the cramped storage room. kicking her legs apart, he ripped her black underwear down her legs and began to rub himself of the curve of her ass while groping her round ass. he sighed as he watched her holes quiver and pucker.

"please baby, do something i don’t think i can-" her words were cut short as he thrust into her pussy, leaving both gasping and whimpering as he pulled out. the squelching sound coming from her pussy intensified as he began pumping himself into her fast, he moved his hands up to her waist and bent his knees to get a better angle. feeling the man become deeper in her, the woman moaned loudly as she felt him hit her g-spot deep within her with every thrust.

“sweetheart you feel so good, oh my god.” the man groaned, throwing his head back in pleasure. sweat dripped down his forehead as felt her warm insides, it was heaven to him, and their skin slapped against each other, she sounded so pretty the way she whine whenever he stopped his fast thrust to slow stroke, he couldn’t get enough of her. he was on the verge of cumming just from the younger woman's moans plus the way she is gripping he couldn’t hold it in and came inside whilst groaning loudly still thrusting within her. stilling he pulls out stumbling back he watches the woman's legs tremble and his cum slowly drip out of her puffy cunt.

with shaking hands he walks to her and flips her onto her back, dropping to his knees, he lays her thick brown legs on his shoulders, and he immediately attaches his pink lips to her overly sensitive clit making her squeal in the process. her back arched off the desk with one hand in his curly locks and the other holding herself as they gazed into each other's eyes. one half-lidded and the other tear-filled.

“fuck baby im gonna cum, oh my god.” she moaned her head tilting back but her gaze never wavering as she squeezed her legs tight over his head. his tongue flicking her clit and he tried to pull back but her legs trapped him there. with some force, he opened her legs and pushed them toward her chest making her hold them with both hands as she laid on her back. he spread her pussy lips and proceeds to slap her cunt, a yelp left the woman above him, he continued his slapping hearing her pained moans and whines in delight until he saw a snail trail of her cum mixed on his hand. standing back up he didn’t say a word as he took his dick and rubbed it between the brown woman's bruised cunt. his tip knocking on her clit and leaking hole with every pump.

“are you going to cum pretty girl? I know you are i can feel it.” he leaned down and whispered into her ear kissing her neck after. without any warning, she squirted with a heave not knowing what she did. the man’s widened eyes looked down between them manic glee filled him as he pulled away whilst stroking his dick and felt his orgasm coming he stuck just his tip into her, pumping her full of his cum again, and came with a deep whine that the woman would’ve basked in if she wasn’t so overstimulated. finally through with his torture, he grabbed his aftercare bag he prepared this morning and began to make her look presentable as he whispered sweet words and compliments to her. helping her walk back to their shared office he laid her on the plush pink couch he bought for her 3 days ago and he went to his meeting himself.

[ana-cantskywalker]

Currently (always, actually) thinking about Liar by The Arcadian Wild + Anakin Skywalker.

How the first 3/4ths of the song is so clearly a plea for help;

"‘Cause I’m not in a right state of mind. I just wish I had strength to admit it."

"I need you to see through my act, to tell me I’m wrong, to take off the mask, or else I’ll be left in the lie. I’ll deceive my way straight to demise."

He knows he is wrong, and broken, and he doesn't know how to be better and he wants the people he loves to help him but he doesn't know how to ask for it.

And then at the very end, the perspective of both himself and everyone else around him changes;

"We all feel this tension, we all have our own illusions 'Cause we're not in a right state of mind. We all wish for the strength to admit it"

Suddenly everyone else is wrong as well. He tries to put the blame off of himself by saying that everyone is bad so why should he be any better. It's the universe's fault, not his. Because that's what he does, he lies and deceives and blames everyone but himself.

It's brilliant songwriting because the first time you listen to it, you believe it. You say "yes, you're right, we are all liars, I am just as at fault as you".

It's one of the most, if not the most, Anakin coded songs I have ever heard, and even without the association with him, it is an incredibly brilliant song.

[paperanddice]

Ala are hag-like fey with a connection to storms and lightning. Their hair is always blown about by wind, and whatever clothes they wear quickly become smoky black in color and ragged. While they appear as ancient humanoids, their secret form can be seen by those born with six fingers on each hand, which consists of a whirlwind vortex where their lower body would be. Whenever an ala takes to the air in flight or channels the power of lightning, she immediately shifts to her true form, the electricity coursing through the windstorm that replaces her legs. Even while the whirlwind is disguised, when an ala enters a house the entire building will groan as if rocked by powerful wind.

Ala are voraciously hungry, becoming apex predators in the wild that devour wolves, badgers, and even bears. They often find their way to humanoid settlements, as humanoid meat is a favorite, preferred over that of wild beasts. An ala will stalk the streets of a small settlement, particularly during storms, and pluck those who dare exit their homes into the air to devour, unless placated by gifts. Unfortunately, generally the only gift that can ward off an ala's predation is a more delicious looking meal in the form of another humanoid.

Originally from the Tome of Beasts 1. This post came out a week ago on my Patreon. If you want to get access to all my monster conversions early, as well as access to my premade adventures and other material I’m working on, consider backing me there!

Pathfinder 2e

Ala Creature 8 CE Medium Fey Electricity Perception +15; low-light vision Languages Aklo, Common Skills Athletics +17, Intimidation +13, Stealth +15 Str +5, Dex +3, Con +4, Int +1, Wis +4, Cha -1 AC 27; Fort +16, Ref +15, Will +16 HP 128; Immunities electricity, sonic; Weaknesses cold iron 10 Poison Flesh (poison) A creature that bites the ala or otherwise consumes any of the ala's flesh is exposed to ala venom. Whirlwind Form (polymorph) If the ala takes the Fly action or uses lightning's kiss, it's lower body automatically transforms into a whirlwind. It remains in this form until it goes for one minute without Flying or using lightning's kiss, or is knocked unconscious or killed, at which point it automatically returns to normal. Speed 25 feet, fly 40 feet Melee bite +17, Damage 2d8+9 piercing plus ala venom Melee claw +17 (agile), Damage 2d6+9 slashing Ranged lightning's kiss +17 (electricity, magic, range 60 feet), Damage 7d10 electricity damage. It can't use Lightning's Kiss again for 1d4 rounds. Ala Venom (poison); Saving Throw DC 26 Fortitude; Maximum Duration 6 rounds; Stage 1 1d6 poison damage; Stage 2 1d6 poison damage and enfeebled 1; Stage 3 2d6 poison damage and enfeebled 1 Storm's Strength (electricity) In stormy weather, the ala gains a +2 circumstance bonus to attacks with lightning's kiss.

13th Age

Ala  4th level troop [humanoid]  Initiative: +8 Venomous Bite +9 vs. AC - 10 damage. Natural Even Hit: The target also takes 8 ongoing poison damage. Natural Odd Hit: The ala can pop free from the target. R: Lightning’s Kiss +9 vs. PD (one nearby enemy) - 18 lightning damage. Limited Use: 2/battle, when the escalation die is even. Flight. Resist Lightning and Thunder 16+. AC 20 PD 16 MD 16 HP 54

[aeterna-auroral-avenger]

WELL THAT WAS AN EXPERIENCE.

Okay so I obviously finished We Were Kings. And wow, yeah, an experience alright. But a good one! I wasn't sure how much I was going to like it but as I kept reading, I liked it more and more. The writing style is really interesting, like I said before.

I'm still reeling from "that scene" and I feel like you'll know what I'm talking about since you read this too. Like you know when you read the same book as someone and you mention "that scene" and the person knows exactly what you're talking about? Of course, I haven't experienced that myself since no one reads the same books I do. I feel like I would've hopped in your IMs right away if I wasn't on anon.

Anyway, talk about family drama. I expected no less from a small town setting. I also really love those settings, they're so fun. It can be so juicy and that's what this book was. Full of family drama and "wow" twists. It was just one thing after another.

And there was one section with Nyla and she was talking about diamonds and how they didn't make sense, and I was like: "No! What are you talking about? Diamonds make perfect sense in small towns. Get it together." 😂

I will say that I guessed the ending in the sense that I knew they'd save Frankie. I just didn't know how we'd get there. There was no way the story would've ended differently. Not to me anyway. I don't think that's a bad thing though. I know a lot of people get disappointed when they guess the ending and feel like reading was a waste of time, but I'm not like that. I like being proved right. I also like being proved wrong. It just depends on the story tbh.

Now "that scene" at the end of the book. The dinner scene. What even was that? LOL. I don't mean that in a bad way. It was so chaotic and so much was suddenly getting thrown at me. Enough was already getting thrown at me a lot throughout the book and then that scene happens. Like okay, chill out, family. I can't even describe how I felt during whole thing. Like I said, I'm still kinda reeling 😂

Anyway, I think I've said enough. I really really liked this book and I can see myself re-reading it. I also want to read The June Boys now. Stevens did a good job at keeping me invested. Thanks for introducing this book to me. I had a great time ✌️

-Book Anon

Me while reading your ask:

Score another point for me and good book recommendations! I love that you enjoyed it so!

And yeah! That scene! That was wild, wasn’t it? I was like what the crap just happened?! That was something else.

The June Boys was really good too! I can’t wait for you to read that one. That one really surprised me!

I also finished Last Girl Breathing, and I recommend it too. About like 3/4th through, I got a feeling I knew the who in whodunnit was, and when the reveal came I was like holy crap I was right! *gasp!* it was still really good. And if you read that one, you’ll get a callback to The June Boys as well.

What’s especially cool for these books for me is the settings are in my neck of the woods. I’m a Kentucky girl, so these Kentucky/Tennessee areas described are places I know and have been. It’s so cool to see pieces of my home in books like that.

Enjoy, Book Anon! And thank you for keeping me posted! I greatly enjoy hearing from you in any capacity!

[writingsbychlo]

Harry Potter newbie here again. 🙋‍♀️ I’m gonna sign my messages as 🦁 so you know it’s me. Maybe one day I’ll grow up a pair and stop writing as an anon. Someday maybe 😅 But for now, I’m halfway through the movies and I do wish I had the time to read the books because there are these gaps in the plot that quite annoy me because when it comes to fantasy I pay huge attention to detail since they turn out to be crucial sooner or later. Also I would love to find out more about the Hogwarts houses and what qualities they represent. Also 3rd movie was okay, not as good as the 2nd one but still ok. 4th I found boring in the first half but the second… damn that was wild.. I feel sad about Cedric’s death because he had the potential to join the gang or at least become Harry’s friend 😔 Also I have developed this weird sympathy for Snape??? Like he’s weird but I really like him for some reason. Please tell me if this is normal or if I should start worrying for myself lol And do we find out more about Draco later in the movies? Because he stopped appearing as much after the 1st movie and he seems like an interesting character. By the way please tell me if these messages annoy you because I’ll stop sending them if they do 🙏 Cheers!! 🩷

firstly, not at all annoying, I love seeing your messages!! 🤍

let’s break this down a lil

1. I wanna read the books too!! I haven’t read them yet but I totally get what you mean, and I hope the books will help fill those blanks. it’s nice to be able to really picture characters and scenarios and effects while reading though, because that visual is there!

2. if you go on the pottermore website there’s a bunch of info, and you can take the quiz and find your house!

3. I love the fourth one so much but I get what you mean, and poor cedric, i loved him sm 😭 he deserved better.

4. don’t worry, this is a we-love-snape household, rest assured you’re valid and welcome. 🏡 don’t worry, more to come for draco, but I won’t say any more than that 🤭

5. I hope you love the rest of the movies!! 🤍

[amlao]

Day 237 of Being Single for the First Second Time in My Adult Life

1. I passed the NCLEX on the first try, in 85 questions. I am now officially [redacted] BSN, RN.

2. Working as a nurse is weird. I’m learning so much every day, but I’m really trying to grapple with being bad at everything and take it in stride.

3. I now do this fun thing where I fully and aggressively push men away, just to regret it and start to like them 10x more after they finally leave me alone.

I think I truly needed to be single for this amount of time, if for nothing else, to just reset my nervous system.

I’ve spent the last 20 years on an insane roller coaster of extreme highs and lows that were very dependent on men, their approval, and their attention.

I can’t just have a normal crush…at least not when they’re actively pursuing me and interacting with me. I experience a wild ride of limerence that teeters on the cusp of mania, rendering me unable to eat or sleep.

The first time I felt it, it was too much. I was waiting for a guy to pick me up after school, and I ended up bailing on him without explanation because I started throwing up and genuinely thought I was ill.

As I got into my 20’s, I rode the high of that slightly out-of-control feeling and jumped from one train to the next when the exhilaration of being crazed with desire wore off.

When I was with Logan, the feeling never faded in 4+ years. The way he overloaded me with love and attention, then withdrew it ever so slightly…but never quite enough for me to lose interest put me in a perpetual state of chasing the high of his love and approval. I would wake up every morning and be determined to be a better person that he would love more…which—funny enough, tricked me into being more responsible, taking better care of myself, and establishing closer relationships with my family.

Being attracted to Nick felt very safe and like the kind of relationship I was capable of having at that point: where physical attraction and love were going to stay separate for both of us. I wasn’t insane with desire. I could compartmentalize. I could put my attraction for him away in a box, then take it out when I was bored or lonely or wanted something exciting to feel.

But then, with Nathan, the feeling started coming back. The wild, untamed, manic limerence. There’s always a point in talking to someone where the wave of feelings I’m riding is perfect: they’re messaging me daily but have no expectations of me. I’m in control. I have the upper hand. Things are moving slowly, but enough is happening to keep me intrigued and give me a spark of energy.

I always remember this moment in time.

With Logan, I was on a late night run in the Summer of 2015 listening to Misterwives:

So can we

Stay forever-ever like this and

Laugh and love in this happy bliss and as

Time runs through our fingers

I knew that this was going to be an exceptional snapshot in time that I would want to come back to.

With Nathan, it was the night of the 4th of July. He had been texting me daily and we had talked casually, but there were no expectations for commitment or correspondence.

He texted me about a presentation he was giving the next day to residents, as I sat on the hood of my car in a random parking lot. Fireworks from Shawnee lit up the night sky. There was a warm breeze and mariachi music was blaring from a local shop.

But then, days later, he asked me out on a date. It felt too soon. I wasn’t comfortable with him in person yet—we had barely spoken three words to each other at his pool party. I didn’t know if there was attraction yet on my end, which takes time and exposure to develop. I didn’t know him well enough.

I gave him my number, then panicked all night, imagining us alone together with nothing but uncomfortable silences.

The next day, I tried to set boundaries and slow the pace. I told him I would be open to hanging out as friends. I told him that I had been in a series of codependent relationships and wanted to be single.

“If you change your mind, you know where to find me,”

“I can wait…I’ve waited longer,”

He says these things, and momentarily, I’m back in the sweet spot. We could explore. We could slow down.

But then, he came back with more persistence. Insisting that, if I went on a date with him, it wouldn’t make work weird. He could compartmentalize. I wouldn’t get in trouble. He would take the fall for everything.

The pace feels rushed again and I feel drawn to him and flattered by the attention, but even more anxious and claustrophobic. Once again, I feel 16 and like I’m throwing up in the high school bathroom waiting for a boy to pick me up. It’s too consuming, and I don’t like it. I’m tired of being the me who is stuck on this ride. I miss the me who had space in her brain to read again and listen to new podcasts and go to the gym.

So, I tell him no. Repeatedly. When he tries to debate my reasoning, I tell him we’re incompatible and I’m not interested in him.

He apologizes and does not message me again.

But now, there are no expectations.

And now…now, it’s safe to like him.

[detectivesus]

Steps in for a tale of the absolutely unhinged evening I had with my friends last night. We all got to the house we were staying at and had a pre game beveragino. Walked to the place (because we are safe girlies in this house and do not drink and drive) one friend supposedly made a reservation at only to find out she did not in fact make a reservation and the hostess was being weird and wouldn’t actually give us a time for when they could seat us but was like I mean y’all can go sit at the bar so obvi we did just that. Everyone got another drink. Food was banging but certainly not enough for how much alcohol we were about to consume. Little did we know. We then Ubered to the first dive bar of the evening and everyone got another round. Some of us got a few more than others but I digress. This place had good vibes and was on the water but there was this gaggle of older ladies who were so very drunk they kept bumping into us so it was very annoying. Then we went to the next place that had 99 beers on tap. It was so dark in there I’m not even sure there were actual lights or just light from the moon tbh. Bitch was dark af. Beer was mid but like to be expected. We were there for the experience not the beverages. My friend stole one of the glasses tho because it was a very nice glass. We don’t condone stealing but at this point it is what it is. We then have to walk 10 minutes to the final place of the evening during which we found a giant board with someone’s very pixelated picture on it that one of the guys picked up and brought with him for some reason. Two of the girls found a cat on the sidewalk and were petting it. The other dude was ordering wings to the house for when we finished at the 3rd bar. We get to the third bar and they buy two pitchers of the worst beer I’ve ever had. Then buy two more. We powered through 3 but had to give the 4th to the bros next to us. We then stumble home to a mass of like 50 wings and fries. Those were actually very good but did I need them at 1am? Probably not. Either way. A wild evening tbh

HAHAHAHAHAHA all the components of a good night then!!!! hope the hangover wasn’t too cruel <3 glad you had a good one

[liamhaydn-blog]

Andy Murray reminds us who he is at the Australian Open

The thing that often amazes us about elite sportspeople is how they make their chosen sport look like the easiest thing in the world. Whether it’s been the effortless grace of Roger Federer’s groundstrokes, or the movement and flexibility of Novak Djokovic, with his rubber-like limbs allowing him to slide and glide across the court in ways human flesh is surely not designed to. Andy Murray is a different kind of athlete to those aforementioned two, he instead regularly makes tennis look like the hardest profession in the world. He makes it exhausting to watch, let alone play. He looks like a physical wreck, sweat soaked, doubled over audibly panting for breath, then he resets and resumes play for another couple of hours. I saw Murray described the other day as always being the most ‘human’ of the superhuman big 4 who once ruled their field together. That is for sure an understatement.

As the world responded to Murray’s displays in the 2023 Australian Open, words such as 'warrior' and 'gladiator' came up a lot. And there is something almost gladiatorial about the way Murray is willing to suffer for the crowds entertainment. He invites the audience to endure with him, and to his opponent he says “I’m willing to put my body through hell to win, are you? Let’s find out. Let’s see who can endure this for longer.” For around a decade Murray has tested his opponents mental and physical willpower, and for much of that decade only 3 men could last with him, the 3 men we all know. The rest would inevitably wilt, buckle as Murray’s unbreakable will and spirit would eventually break them down. They were facing a man who refused to lose, or more accurately refused to stop giving 100% of himself to every point.

In some ways, the 3 matches Andy Murray played at this years Australian open could encapsulate his entire career. Murray first faced Matteo Berrettini, a monster server who had won his last 3 encounters with the Scot. This didn’t stop Murray from getting into a commanding position by winning the first 2 sets. However, Berrettini had not exited at the first round stage of a slam for four years and would not go quietly into the night. Murray saw a 4th set go away from him in a tiebreak to take the match into a decisive 5th. Andy was on the verge of losing for just the second time in his career from 2 sets up, when Berrettini brought up but then squandered match point on Murray’s service game. Instead the match was decided by a 10 point tie-break, with the Italian looking to reach double figures for consecutive tie-breaks won. Instead it was the 35-year old who outlasted his 26-year old opponent in 4 hours and 49 minutes. It was a significant victory for Murray, his first win in the best of 5 format over an opponent ranked in the top 20 since he first left the tour in 2017. The 13th seed Berrettini had reached the semi-finals at the previous years Australian Open and had made it to at least the Quarters in his last 5 majors.

Murray was being brought back down to earth just days later as he took to the court against home favourite Thanasi Kokkinakis. The Australian served big from the off and was in danger of hitting Murray off the court and out of the tournament. He took the second set tie-break and put Andy on the brink of exit, needing just one more set for victory. But before bowing out Murray would give us one more vintage moment however. Already a break down at the start of the 3rd set Andy played a point which maybe no other player in the history of the sport could win. If that sounds bold, bear with me. Kokkinakis quickly got into a position where he was forcing Andy to scurry from one end of the court to the other as the Aussie pummelled the ball into the corners. Murray, stretching every sinew, groaning with the effort continually retrieved the ball only to be sent on another wild goose chase by Kokkinakis’ racquet.

But Kokkinakis could not for the life of him finish the point, though Murray could do no more than offer the ball up for not one, not two, but three successive overheads, the Aussie remained unable to put any of them away, Murray retrieved them all. He was then able to somehow scoop a return from way behind his baseline so deep that it sent Kokkinakis back to his own baseline. With this shot Murray had made the point neutral again and it was his opponent who blinked first hitting into the net. Kokkinakis threw his racquet at the floor in disgust, Murray cupped and pointed at his ear theatrically as though an away footballer taunting the home crowd after scoring a goal, but there was no booing or jeering here, the crowd roared as if Murray had been born in Sydney. They’d witnessed a special point, and they knew it. “Midnight Madness in Melbourne!” exclaimed Mark Petchey as Murray broke back for 1-2 in the third.

For most people, even for most tennis players, desperately hunting down the ball when you know the only option is to lift it into the air for your opponent to smash once again isn’t exactly fun, but for Murray that’s exactly what it is, he’s always been a born defender, the man for chasing down lost causes and delaying the inevitable. And even whilst down two sets and two games in the third, the idea of him accepting the point was lost and losing enthusiasm for the fight was never going to happen. He got his reward. But it seemingly would be little more than a consolation prize, Murray wins the point of the match, Kokkinakis wins the actual match as a 5-2 lead put him a game away from straight sets victory.

After the highs of beating Berrettini it was to be a disappointing loss against the 69th ranked player in the world, but not an all together unexpected one after the tribulations Murray went through in the first round, and being out on court for nearly 5 hours. Murray fans worldwide accepted it, a straight sets loss. There was positives and nice memories to take from the Berrettini win, but he was no longer a player capable of following up a great win with another win in the Best of 5 sets format. Kokkinakis leads 5-3 on serve, he’s two points from victory. But hang on, Murray breaks! he’s stubbornly delaying his exit, for as long as he can. He holds for 5-5 and shortly after we’re in a tiebreak. This time it’s the Scot who wins it, and all of a sudden this match looks a whole lot different. Something is happening here..

The momentum is suddenly all Murray's and after being pegged back from 2-0 up in his last match and dragged into a 5th, this time it’s Murray doing it to his opponent. As he takes the fourth, it starts to feel inevitable, we’ve been here before. He’s smelt blood, Kokkinakis is not doing a lot wrong, but it’s like he’s trapped in a Hollywood movie script, like Apollo Creed or Ivan Drago. He's now there for one reason: to be the victim vanquished against all odds by our stories hero.

Even though all logic suggests that a 35 year old man with one hip, who’s been out on the court for nearly 10 hours should be outlasted by a man 9 years his junior, all logic has been momentarily suspended, perhaps highlighted by Murray being denied the use of the toilet, having used all his allotted bathroom breaks. With logic defied, Murray would be writing the latest in his series of Rocky-esque scripts. After 5 hours and 45 minutes, Andy Murray was victorious at 4:05 AM in the Melbourne morning. Hearing the roar you’d be forgiven for thinking he’d just won his 3rd Wimbledon title in front of his home fans, no instead Murray had beaten an Australian in Australia, to reach just the 3rd round. That’s how affecting and inspiring Murray’s fightback was, Australians love being Australian, but sports-mad people that they are, they love the drama and emotion sport invokes even more.

After the match Murray said: “It was unbelievable that I managed to turn that around. Thanasi was serving unbelievably, hitting his forehand huge and I don't know how I managed to get through it. I did start playing better as the match went on - and yes, I have a big heart.” Murray went on to mention a stat which must give him immense satisfaction, he now holds the record outright for most comebacks from 2 sets behind, moving ahead of legends Roger Federer and Boris Becker. Murray has now done it 11 times, 11 times and he still surprises us. 11 times and we still find ourselves writing him off, saying no, not even *he* can come back from this, and yet he did. The record proves a vindication of all the thousands of hours he’s given to tennis in his career, working on the physical and mental sides of the game, which has helped take him to a level where he will always back himself to win in these situations. Kokkinakis hit 37 aces in the match, a total of 101 winners and it still wasn’t enough, it was never going to be enough.

The Scot’s draw was not going to get any easier, as in the 3rd round he faced Roberto Bautista Agut, a man who had beaten Murray twice in the previous year, losing just six games in the process. The win over Kokkinakis was the longest match of Murray’s career and it took his time on court to over 10 and a half hours. It looked for a time that after 2 long brutal matches, Murray’s third was in danger of being over brutally quick. Appearing stiff and too exhausted to move, Murray was a set down in 29 minutes, winning just the solitary game. He went an early break down in the second set too, but the crowd wanted their own experience of Murray magic, they willed him back into the match, roaring at his every point, trying to feed their energy into his muscles to push them on. Andy broke back and took the set into a tiebreak, a tiebreak he trailed 2-5. Extraordinarily he then reeled off 5 straight points to level the match. Surely it wasn’t happening again..

It wasn’t. At this stage even Murray ran out of magic, but he went down the only way he knows how, the only way he can tolerate which is whilst still battling and still believing, losing the 3rd and 4th sets 3-6 and 4-6 respectively. Following his exit from the tournament Murray said: “I feel like I gave everything that I had to this event. So I’m proud of that. That is really, in whatever you’re doing, all you can do. You can’t always control the outcome. You can’t control how well you’re going to play or the result. You can control the effort that you put into it, and I gave everything that I had the last three matches.” Athletes such as Lionel Messi and Novak Djokovic show us what life would be like if we were extraordinary gifted, Andy Murray shows us what a human looks like who truly gives his all. He makes you wonder what could be achieved if you truly committed every fibre of your being towards something, without wondering what you’ll get out of it, without worrying about what lies at the end, whether it’s even worth trying. For him the trying is the point, that’s the reward in itself, knowing you couldn’t have given more.

A word has been added to the tennis vocabulary and that word is “Murray-coaster” to describe the up and down nature of a Murray match. And truly there has probably never been an athlete who goes through so many emotions so rapidly and all of them are shared with the audience in real time. It’s what makes Murray, still now when he hasn’t reached the last 16 of a slam for over 5 years, one of the most watchable and engaging athletes on the planet. He wins a point, he’s fist-pumping manically, looking into faces of spectators in the crowd cajoling them to give him even more encouragement, louder please. With that Murray’s legs are filled with life, he’s bouncing on them despite the endless hours of match-play. His whole body looks filled with vitality and belief. Then he immediately plays a poor point, his shoulders slump, he limps back into position, he receives the ball from the ball kid like it’s a form of torture to have to go on playing. He loses a long point, he’s leaning down using his racquet to rest, panting for air, he may find time to curse himself or shout something sarcastic to his box. He wins the next point, the crowd roars its approval, Murray is now encouraging himself “C’mon!”, it’s still only 30 all.

Murray’s attention at one stage in the Bautista Agut match was captured by a woman seemingly drinking quite heavily. This as we’ve seen recently from Nick Kyrgios at Wimbledon and Djokovic at this Australian Open, is usually a problem for tennis players. Murray takes a different approach, after winning a game he gestures a pint glass to his lips and encourages the woman to go and get another drink. Murray a man accused throughout his career of not having a personality due to having a somewhat dour voice, shows more personality on the court than practically anyone. You feel you know him better from his on-court persona than virtually anyone else. Murray himself said it best after the Kokkinakis match: “I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve, and shown my emotions. I’ve been criticised alot for it over the years, but that’s who I am.”

"Murraycoaster" can be used not just to define Murray matches, but also his career as a whole. He becomes just the second man to lose his first 4 Grand Slam finals, there is the heartfelt, emotional speech after falling short against Roger Federer at Wimbledon. Then suddenly come the highs, he wins Olympic Gold avenging the loss to Federer, he wins his first Major at Flushing Meadows outlasting the Marathon man himself Novak Djokovic, then beats him again to win the one all Brits wanted over any other, he’s Wimbledon Champion. Then there’s injury problems, only 1 major final in the next 2 years, but then comes the best year of his career 2016, Murray reaches 3 major finals, wins his second Wimbledon title, becomes the first singles player to win 2 Olympic Golds and becomes year end number 1. Now after the greatest high, comes the lowest low, Murray is suffering badly with his hip, in so much pain he feels retirement is the only option, though he struggles to even say the word at the 2019 Australian Open, so badly does he want to play on. And play on he does, this time with a metal hip, but it isn’t like before, wins are fewer and further between. The Australian Open has brought him closer to having one last high, one last deep run in a slam, and though this wasn't to be the time, you feel he won’t stop trying until he gets there again.

Andy Murray at the peak of his powers was one of the best defenders and returners the game has ever seen, his ability to read serves and his extraordinary hand-eye co-ordination would see him regularly make some of the biggest servers the game has ever seen look redundant. He would take your weapons and use them against you, the big-hitters would see their power neutralised and feel the need to keep hitting bigger and bigger until they were over-hitting and sending it long, he forced those mistakes out of your game. He would take you into long rallies and with clean and precise hitting carve out a high IQ point, where he would know the angles on the court better than the opponent, and either work the point to a stage he could hit a brilliant winner or wait for the error to come from the other end. His brand of tennis saw him reach 21 Grand Slam semi-finals, going onto the final 11 times, in Men’s tennis’ strongest ever era.

Multiple factors such as his time side-lined off the court and aswell being the first player to ever compete in singles tennis with a metal hip have meant that the Murray of today isn’t that same player. He loses more, he loses to average players, players who in his prime he would beat in straight sets now do the same to him. Much of what made Murray the number 1 player in the world 7 years ago is no longer part of his game. The serve is rarely what it was, the movement is hampered, the speed of his reaction’s not what they were. So what is Murray left with? he’s left with the same dogged determination and hunger for the fight which once saw climb to the very top of the rankings ahead of the 3 greatest men to ever hold a racquet, he’s left with the same passion and love for the game he’s played for over 30 years, a love that saw him reject doctors' verdicts that he could never return to professional sport with a metal hip and that same unquenchable thirst to win the next point. How far that will take him in the remaining years of his career remains to be seen, yet one thing is certain, Andy Murray won’t be writing himself off.  

[asteroidtroglodyte]

I had to sit with myself for a bit a few years back as I had the realization that “I really do wish for the DownFall Of The Church maybe I should wear a Pentacle in public.”

Anyway.

[Including tags from @fibrefox ]

Thank you. I was afraid that this post was going to catch flak so this is comforting.

In the interest of saying something constructive, rather than just venting:

“Ok, Mr Smarty Trog, what am I then?”

You are not the fish, but you are the shoal

You are not the birds, but you are the flock

You are not the gears, but you are the watch

No. Dammit. Too esoteric. Let me back up.

We are Living Things, which only appear separate from each other through the 3-dimensional lens that our sensory suite is limited to. By expanding your comprehension into the 4th dimension, (imagining all Living Things as long looping serpents, with their embryonic self as the head and their deceased self as the tail) you can clearly see the way that we literally, physically interweave with each other through the reciprocal processes of Consumption and Elimination; of Birth and Death.

Shit. No. That’s even worse. Fuck. Um.

You are a Nation; your organs states, your cells your citizens. The quality of your rule, of your lived experience in your Flesh, will be determined by your ability to tune into yourself and listen to your Citizens when they tell you what you need: rest, love, novelty, sustenance, etc.

Off topic. Waaay off topic. C’mon Trog. Get it together. What are you trying to say?

You are a Thing, made of many Dead Things, that when you keep within a certain temperature range and provide with sufficient elemental oxygen, hydrated carbons, and replacement components, can accelerate the carbon cycle of a planet and increase local entropy.

You’re losing it, man. Bring it back in.

The thing that we call “you,” the thing that responds to a name and has opinions about literature and politics and has friends and a favorite food and experiences emotions, that thing is an illusion. It is like the shapes formed by the schooling fish; by the murmurations of starlings. There are many pieces of “you,” and when life is good and stable then and only then is the biological nation and electrolytic computer that is your flesh and brain even able to run the program “Personality.exe”

Yes. Better. Keep going this way.

Sometimes, The Thing That Is You can’t even survive life, much less death. Personalities fracture into Systems of Alters under adverse conditions. Slight tweaks to the electrochemistry of the blood; a dash of Ethanol here, a pinch of Methylenedioxymethamphetamine there, and suddenly You are Someone Else. “Wild Men,” hermits who eschew civilization to return to the wilds, may take days to weeks to react to their Name if returned to socialization. Anyone who has spent any substantial length of time Homeless understands in a painfully intimate way how fragile The Thing That Is You actually is; the way that Becoming Invisible erodes at your sense of Self.

Yes. Yes. This is The Way.

Within a framework of understanding this, a set of moral imperative emerges:

•to care for yourself such that your Flesh is able to manifest your Personality to its full signal strength

•to allow, whenever possible, your fellow Humans the grace to properly run their own personalities.

•to remake the world such that it minimizes conditions which suppress The Thing That Is You in all peoples

Under such frameworks, moral justifications for Calvinist and Hobbesian models of Punitive Punishment and Authoritarian Government crumble, but that’s. I’ve already gone on too long.

I hope I’m making some kind of sense. I’m trying to figure out how to convey this stuff in a digestible way. People are confused, and I’m not saying I’m not confused but I do have some Answers. You know. To the Big Questions. I just want to help. I want to ease the suffering. I wish I could just make people see but I have to cram my ideas into these little tiny words and it’s so frustrating sometimes arrrggg I’m ok. I’m ok.

What else can I say? Am I making sense?

According to My Coworker, it is “unrealistic” and “inconsiderate” for me to demand that the average person conquer their fear of death and cultivate comfort within their mortality. Apparently my deeply casual attitude about Death is “unsettling” and “disturbing.”

Bah! Cowardice!

Just because I survived several harrowing near death experiences while simultaneously restructuring my cognition using powerful psychedelics does not make me a weirdo! Anyone can stare directly into The Void and tell The Thing That Stares Back to sit down and shut up.

…

…Right?

[sunflowerharrington]

can i request eddie with a bookworm-ish shy reader? If u need a prompt: “your always reading, i just never thought you felt this way…”

you can take full creative control! I don’t really care i just wanna read about our kings <////3

This bud of love by summer’s ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet

pairing - Eddie Munson X GN!Hargrove!Reader (with hair long enough to tuck behind your ear)

summary - Resident bookworm, Y/N Hargrove, is always too caught up in a book to face their feelings for the local metalhead “freak”, until now...

notes - *still refusing to believe volume two happened* I tried giving Y/N a Shakespearean vibe, I know it’s a stereotype but also if you wanna be rude to me the block button is available. And reader is a Hargrove because I wanted to give them a stark contrast to Billy.

I hope you enjoy, Nonnie, and I’m SO sorry for taking this long to get this out! title is a quote from Act 2 Scene 1 of William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Enjoy!

warnings - Other than a mention of Billy Hargrove’s tragic death, this is pure fluff :)

word count -

taglist - @quickiesgirl @sunnymunson @sympathyforher @langdon-cumslut @in-love-with-will-byers @wzrlds @taecube @friendly-neighborhood-ghoul dm, comment or ask me to be added or taken off for all future updates (bar ‘stitches’ and ‘call it what you want’ they will have their own taglists)

back to my stranger things masterlist

You nervously awaited your fate as you read through the brittle pages of your novel adaptation of William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Reading about the beautiful women and handsome men that danced the night away at masquerade balls. And reading the wonderful story about how Juliet met her Romeo as an escape from the reality that your family had been falling apart ever since that unfortunate day. July 4th 1985.

And you wished you could meet your ultimate life partner, your rock, your soulmate, somebody who could protect you from the big bad dragon that had been terrorizing your family since you and your late twin brother were born. That dragon being your father.

However, today was your chance to show your friends that you should be taken seriously, that you’re not just the girl sitting in the corner with her nose in an Oscar Wilde novel or reading melodic poetry. You would rather be known as the sister of the boy that sacrificed himself to save an entire town than that.

You stood in front of the library, anticipation coasting through your veins like waves of the ocean, a feeling of trepidation as you clasped the door handle in your grip. Should you knock?

Of course not! You’re in school!

The people in the library had been warm, inviting towards you; Nancy, studious and confident, Robin; sweet and a little wild, Dustin; courageous and kind, and Mike; reserved, and a little mean. But you would be too if your best friend almost died a more tragic death than Desdemona.

But you were looking for your knight in shining armour, and you got him; in the form of a senior in all denim and a leather jacket, chains hanging every which way, and wild, fluffy hair. And you knew you were destined to be the best of friends the moment you exchanged pleasantries.

Which is why, when you had your nose stuck in Les Mis, you didn’t notice the gaze on you. All through senior year, and it was on the last day of school before graduation when you finally noticed it. O, my dear Aphrodite, my sincerest thank you’s for my wishes coming true.

Your knight had come to sweep you off your feet, lifting you up in his strong arms, looking at you like you were his heart’s only desire. After everyone had been seated, you stood before them to give your graduation speech, and like a flower blooming in a row of bushes, a rose between many thorns, waiting to be plucked by you, was Edward Munson. Your knight. Your Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth. Your saviour from the dragon.

You smiled coyly as you spoke, your eyes selecting their place to gaze carefully, and he smiled back at you. And he cheered the loudest out of everyone when your speech had come to an end.

Your loins burned with desire as the graduation ceremony came to an end, jumping in the air when Mademoiselle Joyce Byers asked you, your knight and the two princesses, Buckley and Wheeler, to jump into the air and she snapped a photo of you with Prince Jonathan’s camera. You bit your lip in focus, and a bad habit, as Eddie wrapped his strong arms around you, engulfing you in the fabric of his blue graduation gown.

Eddie. Beautiful, handsome Edward. Your perfect man had been plucked from the pages of your novel and dropped into Hawkins 20 years ago, and it was only now that the universe had let you get a crystal clear look at him.

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as he pulled away, pressing a kiss of adoration to the centre of your forehead like they do in movies and books. “Told you this year was my year, Hargrove.”

The man standing before you would love you with the passion of Rhett, and would be as devoted to you as Heathcliff to Kathy, and would obsess over you more than Michael Wheeler was over William Byers. You would be Eddie’s. Forever and ever, you decided.

His big brown eyes sparkled in the bright sunlight that beamed down on the school grounds.

“Eddie, I…” You blurted out. Now what in great heavens were you going to say after that? You didn’t know.

You clutched his waist, and he gifted your forehead with another soft kiss while you both twirled around, his hands on your waist. “We did it! We graduated, Hargrove!”

The smile on his face had been nothing you’d seen before, never seeing him this ecstatic in your two years of knowing him. “Only took you two years, Munson.”

“Hey!” He laughed, and oh what a sound for sore ears. “I was trying!”

“What happened to you flipping Higgins the bird? And what happened to you taking my hand and running out of here and never looking back?”

“We can still do that,” he said, and in an instant you were thrown over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift, and he carried you down the aisle.

If only you were donning a wedding dress at that moment.

“Everything okay, sweetheart?” He asked, noticing your discomfort when he put you down outside the school grounds, taking your hand in his.

“I feel like today I was forced to confront some hidden… feelings…” you trailed off.

He took your chin in two of his fingers and slowly forced you to look him dead in the eye, his long, pretty eyelashes fluttering as he blinked.

“Hidden feelings? You don’t… You don’t like me, do you? Like… Uh… Do you like me?”

“Yes, and I have for a long time now. Since that day in the library when you came in to ask Mike about Lucas’ whereabouts as the basketball championship had started.”

He blinked at you, stunned. How could such a beautiful girl like the freak of Hawkins? Well, you know what they say; Never judge a book by its cover.

“You’re always reading! I never thought you would feel this way… Too busy falling in love with the characters in your books. And why would you like me like that anyways? You don’t— You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I’m not! I love you, Edward Munson!”

“What? But why would you ever—“ He began, but you cut him off, coiling your arms around his neck to pull him closer to you as your lips met his in a deep kiss.

As he spun you around, you blocked out the sounds of the kids’ fake gagging, and you could feel Robin and Steve smiling like proud workers for Murray “Cupid” Bauman.

Butterflies kissed the inside of your stomach as Eddie tucked a wayward strand of your hair behind your ear, leaning back in to pepper your face with soft, sweet kisses.

“I” kiss “love” kiss “you�� kiss “too” kiss “,Hargrove.”

Kiss.