#I’ll still be hovering in the shadows of the ra fandom don’t worry

[findingcrow]

Ok this is my apology to anyone who followed me June through November for TRA content, I may or may not have a new hyperfixation and so I’m probably just going to be focusing on that and losing my mind there. I still love TRA but you have to understand the absolute chokehold that Grian Minecraft and Hermitcraft have on me

[femmereddie]

strong as the steel we carry (we rise like the sun) [3/6]

pairing: adora/catra fandom: she-ra and the princesses of power rating: general summary: A collection of drabbles from canon moments over the course of She-Ra, Catra/Adora related. This post contains all my drabbles from season four. read on ao3

S04E03 Flutterina

What did you do to me?

Why did you do it?

Catra woke up from her nightmare, startled and drenched in sweat. She didn’t even have time to process her dream before she heard a noise. She turned her head and found Emily, Entrapta’s robot, hovering over her.

Catra leaped out of bed, completely freaked out. It was almost like Emily knew what she dreamt about. “Stay away from me!” Catra screamed, scratching the robot with her claws.

Catra watched Emily hobble away. When she was finally alone, she sighed in relief and slumped back in her bed. Catra knew she would have to get up eventually, especially since she had to introduce Hordak to Double Trouble. She needed to initiate the next part of her plan, but Catra needed a few extra minutes to herself to process her dream.

Catra couldn’t unsee Entrapta and Adora’s angry faces, staring her down. Catra remembered how vulnerable and terrified she felt, and those emotions lingered once she woke up. No matter how much time passes, Catra still has trouble pushing her feelings away. They somehow come barreling back all because of a stupid dream. A dream that painfully reminded her of her reality.

First, there was Adora, and that was definitely her fault. She didn’t have to go. She could have stayed by Catra’s side, and they could have ruled Etheria together, the way that they had always planned.

It was harder to blame Entrapta, but Catra soothed herself by saying that Entrapta only made bigger messes that Catra always had to clean up. They didn’t need Entrapta. Setting off the portal was the best thing Catra ever did, even if it didn’t work in their favor. Horde Prime would arrive any day now, and Catra was now a leader of the Horde.

Catra had become a master manipulator, skilled at deceiving everyone, including herself. She was so good at it that even Catra believed that she was more vengeful than she was hurt or lonely. But she couldn’t give up now, not when things were going in her favor. So far, anyway.

God, Catra was furious. She was mad at Entrapta and even angrier at Adora. It was easier for Catra to be upset; it always has been. And truthfully, at least on the surface, Catra didn’t feel guilty. She remembered the fight she had with Adora in the alternate reality, and what she had said to her.

Don’t you get it?! I am never going to go with you.

You always have to go and ruin it. Don’t you?

I won’t let you win. I’d rather see the whole world end than let that happen.

It was all true, every last word. If Catra and Adora had to have the same argument all over again, she would just repeat everything she said. Catra would burn everything down to ensure that she got what she wanted, and Adora got nothing. That’s what Adora deserved after leaving Catra with nothing. Let Adora see the losing side for a change. It wasn’t fair that Adora was the one who betrayed Catra, and Catra was the one who stayed faithfully with the Horde. Catra was loyal, yet she was the one who always got stabbed in the back.

Why did her friends keep betraying her? They either left her or stood in her way. They screwed things up to the point of no return. Catra would have lost if she hadn’t sent Entrapta to Beast Island. Sure, everyone came back from the alternate reality, but The Rebellion was in shambles. Catra and Hordak were planning a successful takeover. The prissy princesses didn’t know what was coming, not with the tricks the Horde had up their sleeves.

Catra, look what’s happening! You’re going to destroy everything!

It infuriated Catra that Adora thought that was all she was good for. Destruction. If Adora wanted to know why Catra opened the portal, Catra wouldn’t hesitate. Catra needed everything to go well. If Hordak could successfully bring in the rest of his armies, Catra would finally taste victory. Even if she knew deep down, the only person she was fighting was herself.

Catra’s dream reminded her of one crucial thing. She remembered what it felt like to lose her balance and slip through the blazing red portal. She remembered why it happened—it was because of her so-called friends. Trusting people and putting her faith in them—that’s what always brought Catra down. Her dream was a harsh but necessary wakeup call. She couldn’t afford to have any friends, no matter how much they claimed to be loyal to her and the Horde.

So, that evening, when Scorpia came to check on her like she usually did, Catra was sure to put Scorpia in her place. After all, Catra already had everything she needed. Her plan was in motion, and she was finally going to win.

She didn’t need anybody to lean on. She had herself, and that was always enough.

—

S04E04 Pulse

“And don’t worry, darling, I’ll keep a better eye on Glimmer. Who knew she was so powerful?”

Catra scoffed at Double Trouble’s observation. “Whatever. If she hadn’t used Adora as bait—”

“Oh, yes! How devious. I’d assumed she was all glitter, no grit.”

“Yeah. That… was unexpected. And then she showed up alone. Huh.” The wheels in Catra’s mind began turning faster and faster. “Looks like that friendship might have a few cracks, huh? Would be a shame if someone were there to take advantage of them…”

Double Trouble grinned sinisterly at Catra, and they quickly left after that. Catra watched them go, the excitement of their new strategy thrumming in her veins. She knew that Adora’s friendship with Glimmer wasn’t as perfect as the girls made it out to be. Of course, you could say that Catra was just green with envy. But even when Adora was still with the Horde, she and Catra still had their fair share of problems. Nothing was ever peachy perfect, as it always seemed to be with Adora and Glimmer.

Smiling to herself, Catra walked back inside. New energies took over her body. Confidence. Sureness. Certainty. Now, Glimmer would finally learn the price of being friends with Adora. Their friendship would fall apart, proving that Catra’s failed relationship with Adora was not her fault. Adora and Glimmer would finally know what it’s like to lose trust in the one person you thought you could always count on. And little did they know that it was Flutterina, the Horde’s spy, snipping the thread that held Adora and Glimmer together.

Catra couldn’t wait to watch them fall apart.

—

S04E06 Princess Scorpia

I’m so close. If I can pull this off, everything, everything, will have been worth it.

As Catra stormed away from Scorpia, her own words played in her mind on repeat. Usually, she wouldn’t say something that revealing to anyone, but Catra was in a bigger frenzy than usual. She couldn’t help but think out loud.

It wasn’t like Scorpia would say anything about it. Once Catra made it clear that they were not friends, Scorpia didn’t question her as much. It was a massive relief to Catra, who couldn’t focus on anything but taking down The Rebellion once and for all.

But Catra couldn’t help but ponder on what “everything” meant. Now that she was alone, in a safe spot where people were unlikely to reach her, she could think about it for a few minutes.

“Everything” started with the decisions Catra made since Adora left, starting with choosing to stay with the Horde in the first place. But soon, “everything” spiraled out of control. Catra stopped making excuses for her actions. After all, what was the point? Every time she told herself that this would be the last time she did something awful, another opportunity would come around. Next thing Catra knew, she was electrocuting Entrapta and shipping her off to Beast Island.

Not that Catra regretted that choice. She didn’t. She couldn’t, because regretting her actions meant acknowledging that they were mistakes. However, if Catra managed to succeed, then nothing would matter. Enabling Shadow Weaver’s torture of Glimmer, destroying civilian villages, abusing Scorpia, Entrapta, even Hordak, for heaven’s sake. It would have all been worth it.

Sure, Catra was emotionally reckless—she set off an entire alternate reality, and their world almost collapsed so that she could win. But no one else understood—winning was everything to Catra. It was all she had left. Everyone had left her in one form another.

Catra stopped reasoning with herself after everyone returned from the portal. She did whatever she felt was necessary to get what she wanted. No more justification, no more excuses. Catra was done being a pathetic excuse for a person. So, she secretly infiltrated The Rebellion, thanks to Double Trouble. She treated everyone worse than dirt, an incredible feat for her considering she already wasn’t treating her peers very well. Catra would cause ample destruction, and everything would blow up in The Rebellion’s face—in Adora’s face.

As usual, it all came back to Adora. Every choice Catra made since Adora left the Horde was to prove to her former best friend that she made the wrong decision when she chose the princesses over their relationship. It was the ultimate payback. Once the Horde finally succeeded in taking over Etheria, Adora would see that her fatal mistake was leaving and underestimating Catra.

Everything would be worth it, Catra reassured herself. All the pain, destruction, manipulation—everything Catra had caused would be worth it. It had to be because if it wasn’t, Catra lost everything she ever loved for nothing.

* * *

“You’re a bad friend.”

Catra stared in shock as Scorpia walked away. For the first time ever, Scorpia didn’t even hesitate to look back. She kept walking, becoming smaller and smaller until she turned the corner and disappeared completely. Catra didn’t know what to expect from Scorpia after yelling at her, but it certainly wasn’t that.

It was a few hours after Catra sent Scorpia to find Entrapta’s recordings, and while Scorpia did find them, she “accidentally” broke them. Now, Catra didn’t have a choice but to take whatever contraption Scorpia gave her and bring it to Hordak. But Catra swore to herself that no matter what his reaction would be, this wouldn’t get in the way of the plan’s execution. The Horde would conquer Etheria, the Rebellion would fall, and when Horde Prime finally showed up, Catra would be praised and placed in high rank among the Horde’s soldiers. Maybe she’ll even earn a position higher than Hordak.

So, maybe Scorpia’s words made Catra’s heart twinge just a little bit, but it was probably out of surprise, more than anything. Besides, Catra wasn’t heartbroken. She didn’t care if Scorpia thought she was a lousy friend. Scorpia would get over Catra’s outburst like she always did, and then everything would go back to normal. And how could Catra be a bad friend if she didn’t have any, to begin with?

Catra picked up the recording she threw a few minutes before. She stared at it for a few moments, collecting herself before going to meet with Hordak. Screw Scorpia. Catra never needed anyone, and certainly not some clumsy, happy-go-lucky scorpion who just sat around singing cheesy campfire songs. Catra was always better off alone; she knew that by now. Besides, Scorpia was still a princess. She would always be one, even if her parents swore loyalty to the Horde. Of course, Scorpia was useless; it was in her blood. So, Catra smoothed out her hair and went to see Hordak in his lab.

When Catra walked in, Hordak immediately perked up. “The recordings!” He desperately cried.

Catra had a split second to make a decision, and she did. She hid the tech behind her back. “Entrapta must have taken them with her before leaving.” She turned to look at Hordak. “There’s nothing.”

Hordak screamed in frustration, throwing pieces of debris in the air. “I gave you an order,” he grunted.

“Get. Over. It. You don’t need Entrapta, you never did. You don’t need a princess in your life telling you what to do. Look at what you’ve done without her! You built an army. An empire. You and me… we don’t need anyone. Forget them all! No one matters; nothing matters but this mission! You want to prove yourself? Prove your worth? Then do it. You and I are going to conquer Etheria and then, and then, they’ll all see!” Catra finished her rant, breathing heavily, rage bubbling under her skin.

“Oh, of course! Yes. We will prevail. Give me another day, and I will be ready.”

“Does that mean… I can give the command?” Catra asked, cautiously.

“It is time.”

Catra grinned at Hordak, satisfied with their conversation. They were on the brink of victory. By this time next week, Catra would be sitting on Bright Moon’s throne, ruling Etheria. Maybe even Horde Prime will have landed on their planet by then. And she’ll have done it all, without Entrapta, without Scorpia, and definitely without Adora.

So, just like every heartache before, Scorpia faded to background music in her mind.

—

S04E08 Boys Night Out

Catra needed a break from winning.

That’s something she never thought she’d say, but everything changed once the tide started turning toward the Horde. Catra knew there was only one person who she wanted to talk to at that moment.

“Force Captain Scorpia, come in. Aw man, even when he’s winning, Hordak is annoying. Now, he suddenly loves fighting, and I’m getting stuck with whatever he deems necessary. Ugh. Never thought I’d miss shut-in Hordak. Meet me at the sea gate; I wanna take a break anyway.”

Catra turned off her radio and began making her way towards the sea gate. Now that Etheria finally belonged to the Horde, maybe she’d use the sea gate as her comfort zone, a place where she could feel safe.

Once Catra reached the gate, she climbed its walls until she was reasonably close to the top and sat down. She waited a bit, but after several minutes of radio silence, Catra reached out to Scorpia again. “Hey, Scorpia, where are you? It’s not like you to be late.”

Again, a few beats of silence passed. Catra curled herself into a sitting fetal position. Maybe, for once in her life, she should try being honest. “Listen, I’ll kill you if you tell anyone this, but… I thought winning would be… different. Or at least, more… I don’t know, fun?”

Catra heard nothing but static coming through her communication piece. She was starting to get annoyed. “Come on; you’re not still mad about before, are you? Stop being so sensitive, get over it, and talk to me, Scorpia! Scorpia?  Scorpia?!”

Okay, now, Catra was officially worried. It was so unlike Scorpia to ignore her, especially considering that Catra was her commander. Didn’t Scorpia have any respect?! Catra didn’t have to tell her anything she just said, but she did, anyway.

Catra leaped from the top of the sea gate and hurried back to Horde headquarters, desperately praying that Scorpia had just turned off her means of communication and was alone in her room.

Catra was out of breath by the time she made it back to Scorpia’s room in the Fright Zone. “Scorpia!” She exclaimed but was shocked to see a painstakingly neat place. Almost like… nobody was there. “Scorpia?” Catra asked, more hesitantly, afraid of what she would find.

Suddenly, she heard her own voice talking back to her. Catra looked down to find Scorpia’s ripped armor with her radio signal going off. Catra also noticed a folded piece of paper that sat on top of the machinery. She picked up the paper and unfolded it, finding a letter from Scorpia.

As Catra read, she gasped, not daring to believe Scorpia… left. It never occurred to Catra that Scorpia would ever do something like that, especially behind her back. How dare she?! Especially after Scorpia knew how much Adora’s desertion hurt Catra. It wasn’t like Scorpia to pull something like this.

Just then, it occurred to Catra that when she said that winning wasn’t what she thought it would be, she was talking to the empty air. She admitted a piece of information she refused to acknowledge—ruling Etheria meant nothing to her if she had nobody to share it with. Catra always imagined it would be Adora, and she knew that Scorpia would never be Adora, but Catra wouldn’t be alone, at least.

And that’s when it hit Catra—she always claimed she didn’t want friends, didn’t need friends, and that she was just better off without anyone. But now that Catra finally won, all she wanted was a friend. Adora was long gone, but Scorpia was always there for her, no matter how mean Catra could be.

Well, even Scorpia had her limits.

Now everyone was gone. Scorpia left, just like Adora did, just like anyone Catra ever cared about did. And as usual, Catra was alone, vulnerable, and in the hands of the Horde. Everything she held clutter to the floor as she stared at the ground, feeling utterly numb inside.

—

S04E10 Fractures

Shift screen. Shift screen.

That was all Catra has been doing for the last few days, desperately searching for Scorpia through the Horde’s camera system, hoping to spot her so Catra could bring her back. But so far, it proved to be useless.

Suddenly, she heard a laugh in the distance. Catra didn’t think and knocked down a layer of the defense walls she built around her heart. “Scorpia? I knew you’d come.”

Once she realized that she was just talking to open space, Catra groaned in frustration. She approached the window and looked down to find scattered Horde soldiers talking amongst themselves. In another lifetime, she probably would have been down there with Adora. Possibly with Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio, too. But Catra wasn’t because she was their commander, so all of these soldiers were probably just standing around and laughing at her soul chipping away, turning into debris.

Just then, the Horde trio re-entered the outpost. Catra immediately went to confront them. She hissed her way past random soldiers, determined to make her presence known.

“Okay, no. There’s no way we’re working a fourth—”

But Catra wasn’t interested. She grabbed Lonnie’s arm and yanked her away from the group, dragging her to the communications room.

Catra finally released her grip on Lonnie, throwing her against a panel. “What are they saying?!”

“What? Who?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know. Are they laughing at me?!”

Lonnie gave Catra a curious look, and Catra was sure Lonnie thought that she had officially lost her mind. Well, maybe she had. “Mostly, people are just tired. I think if you let them sleep, everything will be fine.”

Catra had begun walking away from Lonnie but stopped once Lonnie suggested that things could turn around and be okay. “Everything isn’t fine! Scorpia would be here if everything was fine!”

As soon as she said that, Catra realized she had just put herself in a vulnerable position. She immediately turned back to face Lonnie and growled at her. Lonnie gasped in fear, which made Catra realize how utterly ridiculous this all was. Confessing how much she missed Scorpia to Lonnie of all people? Was Lonnie all Catra had left? Did everything come down to this? Catra couldn’t help but burst into laughter. Everything about this situation was just so bizarre, and she was so worn down and so broken that she couldn’t react in any other way. “Just leave. Like everybody else.”

Lonnie stared at Catra, bewildered by her behavior. Catra couldn’t take being around anyone else, for the time being, so she screamed. “GO!”

Once Lonnie was gone, she picked up a communication tablet and tried to reach Double Trouble. However, Catra was in an extremely volatile state, so before Double Trouble could even answer the signal, Catra accidentally crushed the communicator. She threw the tablet to the ground, watching it shatter to pieces.

Double Trouble was Catra’s absolute last resort. With them not answering, Catra was truly alone now.

* * *

Later that evening, Catra’s erratic condition hadn’t changed. She hadn’t slept in days. Scorpia was nowhere to be found. The Horde kept gaining ground in Etheria. Life continued to move, but Catra was unable to.

Eventually, it was time to check in with Hordak. Once she got on the line with him, he immediately began updating her on the newly gained territory. “I’ve taken the last of the coastal towns. What is the status in the Woods?”

Without missing a beat, Catra replied. “Our raiding parties have crushed the villages near our current outpost. Tomorrow, we move farther inland. Everything is under control.” God, she sounded so rehearsed, it was as if she had practiced for hours for some petty recital. But Catra was already used to it. Pretending wasn’t hard anymore; it was second nature for her. Truthfully, Catra died the day Adora left, and whoever was left was simply a shadow of the person she used to be.

“Excellent. Etheria will be ours yet.”

Hordak hung up, and Catra let her headpiece clatter to the ground. Any moment now, the dam inside her would break. She was alone in her surroundings. Nobody was communicating with her. If Catra needed a good cry, just to see if it would make her feel even a little better, now was the time.

So that’s what she did. Catra slid to her knees and burst into tears, opening the emotional floodgates inside of her. There was so much she was crying for by that point; it was practically a week’s worth laundry list. Adora. Scorpia. Entrapta. Adora. Shadow Weaver. Sparkles, Glimmer, whatever her name was. And Adora, Adora, Adora.

Catra had finally won; she had gotten everything she wanted. And yet, she had never felt emptier than she did at that moment. How could she feel anything inside when she was still alone, despite being at the top? Here Catra was, having reached the peak of the mountain she’s been climbing for the last couple of years, but it was nothing like she imagined it would be. Truthfully, a part of her knew that it could never measure up to what she wanted—ruling Etheria with Adora. But if she were given a chance to love Adora, and to be loved in return, could she give it all up?

Catra knew the answer to that question. And so, she continued to sob, finally letting her most vulnerable emotions slip through the cracks of her hollow soul.

—

S04E12 Destiny Part 1

Catra splashed water on her face and took a few moments to collect herself. Today was a brand new day. Scorpia was gone, and Double Trouble wasn’t around, but everything was fine. Okay, maybe she had a hysterical breakdown the other day, but so far, pretending like it never happened was working for her. Today was going to be a good day; she’d make sure of that.

Catra looked in the mirror and smoothed down her hair. She turned and began walking away from the sink, but stopped when she saw Scorpia’s abandoned locker.

Catra gasped. She forgot that almost everywhere she went, there were traces of Scorpia. Of course, Catra had stopped looking for Scorpia, but seeing her locker entirely intact, with doodles of the Super Pal Trio, just really hurt. Catra bowed her head, darkness overwhelming her once again.

Just then, Catra heard laughter, and the Horde Trio walked in the locker room. “Sorry, we didn’t know you were in here. We’ll just come back later.”

“Wait!” Catra exclaimed. Now that she had their attention, she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t have anything to say to people she’s known her whole life but seemed like strangers to her. So instead, she asked, “What’s the report from the field?”

“We just got back from conquering another rebel town. The third one this week! So, you’re welcome.”

“Aw, you should have seen us! I was all…” Kyle began animatedly explaining what happened, so Catra tuned out his voice. She wasn’t interested. But then, Kyle kicked Scorpia’s locker, ripping the corner from one of Scorpia’s doodles.

“Watch it!”

Kyle ran in fear behind Lonnie and Rogelio. Lonnie spoke up. “Calm down, Catra! It’s not like Scorpia needs it anymore.”

“You… don’t get to talk to me like that. I’m your commander! Got it?”

“What is wrong with you? We’re winning! Even you should be happy.”

How dare Lonnie speak to her like that! Catra may have been on the brink of insanity, but nobody had the right to imply that she wasn’t okay. “Happy?” Catra slammed Lonnie into the locker, seething with hot rage. “I’ll be happy when The Rebellion and She-Ra are gone for good. But that’s never going to happen with the three of you goofing off all the time. You are pathetic!”

In a way, Catra didn’t lie. She didn’t want Adora to die, but Adora discovering her She-Ra persona only jeopardized their friendship, effectively putting an end to it. Without She-Ra, Adora and Catra might still be best friends, taking on the world together. Like it was always meant to be.

Lonnie pushed Catra away, refusing to take any more of her bullshit. Catra only responded with the threat of her claws. She was ready to strike, but suddenly, Kyle jumped in the way.

“Stay away from her! We used to be your friends. Why are you treating us like this?”

Catra didn’t know what to say to that. Sure, they were friends once, a long time ago, but things have changed now. The last time they were friends, Adora was there. The last time they were friends, Catra undoubtedly loved Adora. But Catra didn’t have any friends for a long time. Scorpia was there, but Catra didn’t consider her a friend until it was too late.

For a moment, Catra let her guard down, as the only thing she could think of was the fact that the last time she was friends with Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio was when Adora was there, too. When Catra and Adora were on the same side. But those days were long gone, and despite what she had realized when she sobbed her guts out the other day, Catra was still desperate to pretend like it never happened.

Catra’s face hardened. “Get out!” She panted heavily, refusing to move from her spot until the Horde Trio were safely gone. Then, she turned back to Scorpia’s old locker, ripping the drawings away and leaning her head against it. After acknowledging everything she had in the last few days, and after almost blowing her cover in front of Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio, she was too exhausted to do anything else.

—

S04E13 Destiny Part 2

“You know, it took me a while, but I finally figured out your character.”

Catra was still reeling from Double Trouble pretending to be Adora. She couldn’t register what they were saying, so she remained frozen, allowing Double Trouble to continue talking.

“You try so hard to play the big, bad villain. But your heart’s never been in it, has it?”

Catra couldn’t believe what they were saying. For Double Trouble to decode Catra was one thing, but to do it while pretending to be her? Catra was pretty sure her brain had just stopped working altogether. “What…? What are you? Stop! Stop it!”

Catra tried to scratch at Double Trouble, but it was no use. Both of them were in the same body. Double Trouble ducked out of the way and grabbed Catra’s arm, forcing her to look at them. “People have hurt you, haven’t they? They didn’t believe in you. They didn’t trust you. Didn’t need you. Left you.”

Double Trouble shapeshifted into Adora and used Catra’s hand to cradle their face. Catra was so stunned by everything that was happening. It was all too much for her, and she felt so helpless in their grip.

Double Trouble pushed Catra to the ground. “But did you ever stop to think, maybe they’re not the problem? It’s you. You drive them away, wildcat.”

Double Trouble shifted into Scorpia, and Catra had never felt so small in her life. She looked up at them, wishing more than anything that she was looking at Scorpia, but Catra knew it wasn’t her.  “Why are you doing this?”

“It’s for your own good, darling. We both know this was never what you really wanted. But, it was also a good distraction. Your army was ambushed on their way to defenseless Bright Moon. Your face right now is almost better than applause. Almost.”

Each new reveal hit Catra more personally than the last one did. She never expected Double Trouble of all people to leave her for The Rebellion. “You… betrayed me.”

“It’s not personal, darling, you knew how this worked. The best way to survive is always choose the winning side. The Rebels have some kind of ancient superweapon. Any minute now they’re going to use it, and when they do… everything you’ve worked for will be destroyed.”

Catra stared in disbelief. Double Trouble just didn’t stop talking. They kept hitting Catra, where it hurt the most. “I’d really better be going before that happens! And… scene.”

Double Trouble finally left Catra among the wreckage of the Fright Zone. She stared at their receding figure, completely shattered. Everything was for nothing. The only thing that happened was Double Trouble betrayed her for the princesses, and they exposed the deepest, darkest parts of herself that she had barely acknowledged. Even thinking of Double Trouble’s words managed to crush her heart even more.

The worst part was, it was all true. That’s why Catra felt the way she did. Everything led up to this moment—the inevitability that she was always the problem. No wonder they all left. Double Trouble, Scorpia, Shadow Weaver. Even Adora left, and how could she not?

We both know this was never what you really wanted. Double Trouble’s words echoed in Catra’s mind as she fully accepted them. Catra knew what she really wanted, but it was always impossible. How could anybody even love Catra? Even if Adora hadn’t left, it was ridiculous of Catra to even think for a split second that her former best friend would ever love her back. And now, Catra was far beyond redemption. She was too broken to be fixed. Her plan with Hordak completely backfired, so there was nothing left for her now.

She lost. And as always, she was alone.

Catra sat there for ages, waiting for something to happen. Whether this ancient superweapon would destroy her, or maybe Adora would do it herself, Catra didn’t know. She just knew it was inevitable.

Suddenly, Glimmer teleported into the destroyed Fright Zone. Catra had been quietly crying for the last several minutes, but once Glimmer arrived, the princess immediately heard her. Glimmer turned to Catra and pointed a magical weapon. “Guess you wanted all my attention for yourself. Your troops are gone. You’re all alone, you’ve lost.”

Please, tell Catra something that she didn’t know for once. “What are you waiting for? Do it.”

Glimmer was wholly taken aback by Catra’s reaction. It was so unlike her to just give up and not fight back, but Glimmer didn’t know that Catra had already fought back as hard as possible. You could only fight for so long before you’re bruised and beaten down to the point of paralyzation. And now, Catra sat there, unable to move.

We both know this was never what you really wanted. Catra heard Double Trouble’s words once more.

��Looks like we’re both alone, Sparkles.”

[beeftony]

Failsafe

Fandom: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Rating: General Audiences Word Count: 2032 Characters: Catra (She-Ra), Entrapta (She-Ra) Summary:

Catra and Entrapta formulate a plan based on a piece of First Ones' tech... after it traps them together in Entrapta's lab.

Author’s Notes:

So after binging this show, I became possessed by this idea and had to let it out, which after several months of having to force myself to write felt really good. I've been having Catra feelings this whole week, so you all get to suffer too.

It was a rather childish drawing, excused somewhat by the fact that it had been drawn by children. Though imperfect in its portrayal of things like background, perspective, and basic anatomy, the pure, unbridled imagination of it all shined through regardless. It depicted two figures flying, unassisted by any sort of aircraft, raining destruction down upon a forest. The horrors that they had imagined inhabiting the Whispering Woods were not so frightening when rendered in crayon, with their tongues lolling out and big x’s where their eyes should be.

Things had played out differently in real life, of course, but at least that last part of the drawing had come true, in its own way. Catra glared at the paper as she walked down the hall, before crumpling it into a wad and tossing it to the side. She’d found it while cleaning out her previous quarters after her promotion to Second in Command afforded her a much better living space. Just when she finally thought she’d erased all remnants of Adora’s memory from her surroundings, something else popped up like a bad penny.

She groaned and continued her rounds. The sound of excited typing and giggling could be heard a short distance away, and before long she entered a large room that had been converted into a laboratory. Half-stripped bots and other spare parts lined the tables, along with a motley collection of tools, note-paper, and absurdly tiny sweets. At the far end of the chamber, in front of an enormous computer, Entrapta was lost in her work, oblivious to almost everything around her. And yet, she still noticed Catra’s arrival,  waving at her with a piece of her prehensile hair.

Catra heard skittering behind her, and stepped quickly to the side as the Princess’ pet robot marched into the room, extending a limb towards her and passing something into her hair.

“Oh hey, Catra. Emily says you dropped this.” She tossed it over her shoulder, and Catra caught it on instinct, discovering to her chagrin that it was the same paper she’d disposed of earlier.

“I didn’t drop it,” she replied, hurling it to the ground. “I threw it away.”

The robot dubbed Emily obediently picked up the paper, then handed it back to Entrapta, who passed it to her again. And she caught it without thinking, again.

“You shouldn’t litter. Say, do you have a litter box? I’m curious how far the cat thing goes.”

“I am not answering that.” She stuffed the paper into a stray pocket. “Fine. I’ll incinerate this later.”

“Suit yourself. So what brings you to my lab?”

“Checking up on things.” She moved closer, standing to her left, while Emily flanked the Princess on the right. “What are you working on?”

“Well, besides that data crystal you recovered for me, there was a piece of First Ones’ tech I’d been working on for a while.” She motioned to a small green crystal that vaguely resembled a sawblade, with visible cracks that had been carefully welded into one solid piece. “I just got it put back together and I was about to run some tests. Wanna see?”

She crossed her arms and shrugged. “Sure.”

Grabbing the crystal with her hair, Entrapta inserted it into a port on the computer, then began clacking away at the keyboard again. “Now, the code in this can be a teensy bit malicious, so I’m working with a few more safeguards this time around. Emily, if you wouldn’t mind waiting outside?”

The robot was unable to nod, but turned around and skittered out of the lab, waiting just outside the door.

Catra raised an eyebrow, and the Princess lowered her welding visor before explaining. “Last time I tried plugging this in, it turned all my bots super aggressive. It even made She-Ra act a little weird. She transformed back into Adora and got so spacy even I looked put together by comparison.”

“Well now I’m definitely interested,” she said, leaning in. “You think you can weaponize it?”

“That’s the plan. I just have to—” She was cut off by a loud, blaring alarm. The crystal turned red, followed by all of the computer monitors. The door slammed closed, and Catra could hear a heavy lock sliding in behind it. A flurry of information whizzed by on the computer screens, then everything went black. “Crap.”

She heard something crackle next to her, and Entrapta held up a glowstick with her hair, passing it in front fo the computer and peering around the room.

“What the hell just happened?

“The failsafe kicked in.”

“Huh?”

“Before you walked in, I was isolating this computer from the rest of the network so it wouldn’t infect the whole system like last time,” she elaborated. “When the code from the artifact tried to gain root access, the failsafe I programmed cut power to the system and quarantined the virus. It’ll take a few minutes to lock it down and reboot.”

“Pretend I don’t understand anything you just said,” replied Catra. “Then dumb it down some more.”

“The system shut down to protect itself,” she translated. “It won’t start up again until it’s safe. In the meantime, we’re stuck here.”

“Yeah, I gathered that when the door locked.”

“So you did understand.” She caught a glint of cunning in the Princess’ eye, and saw her smirk. “You play dumb, but I think you know way more than you let on.”

Catra huffed, crossing her arms. “I just don’t like it when you talk all that science-y mumbo-jumbo. Makes my head spin.”

“But you figured out what I meant,” she replied. “Even before I simplified it for you.”

“Whatever.”

“Just be glad we’re not fighting a crazy killer robot right now,” she said. “With all the upgrades I’ve made to Emily I’m not sure we’d survive in such an enclosed space.”

“I’ve gone toe-to-toe with She-Ra and come out of it just fine,” Catra insisted. “I can handle anything.”

“Yeah, well She-Ra doesn’t have a killer instinct. Emily can smell fear. I programmed her to.”

Catra craned her neck back, eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“She already had an olfactory sensor for testing air particles. Adding the ability to detect pheromones wasn’t too hard.”

“Do you ever stop tinkering with things?”

“Nope.”

Tapping her foot in the darkness, Catra raised her eyes to the ceiling and waited. Entrapta pulled out her tape recorder.

“Day Twelve. Or was it Fifteen? This place really needs more windows, though that would compromise operational security. The artifact’s origins and intended purpose remain a mystery. It appears to be designed to overwrite other systems and replace them with its own. But why does it fill machines with so much hostility? Was it intended for sabotage against an enemy force, turning their own armaments against them? Or is the damage sustained by the crystal responsible for a degradation in code that—”

“Gah, enough! I don’t care what it’s for! I don’t even see what use it would be!”

Clicking off the tape recorder, Entrapta shrugged. “Well, like I said, you could sabotage an entire enemy network with it just by slipping it into one of their computers. If they rely on robots, you could turn their whole army against them as well. Although Brightmoon wouldn’t really be vulnerable to that kind of assault.”

“We would.”

“Exactly! Now aren’t you glad I isolated us from the rest of the network?”

“Not enough to enjoy being stuck in here with you.” She tapped a claw against her chin. “You mentioned the artifact infected She-Ra. How?”

“Through her sword, I think. It short-circuited her transformation and left her mostly incapacitated. Glimmer had to carry her around.”

A sly grin crept across Catra’s face. “That’s good to know.”

“There’s more. I’ve never gotten a close look at her sword, but it’s definitely First Ones’ tech. It shares a lot of properties with Runestones.”

“Yeah, I noticed that. That’s how she restored the Moonstone and all the other Runestones after that thing with the Black Garnet.” The smile grew wider. “Meaning if we got this thing in contact with the one of the other Runestones…”

Clasping her hands together, Entrapta jumped around excitedly. “That sounds fascinating! And potentially world-ending. But super exciting overall!”

“World-ending?”

“The Runestones keep the planet in balance. Infecting all of them could mean there’d be no world left to conquer. But it’s worth finding out!”

Catra blinked. “On second thought, using it to mess up She-Ra’s day is probably a better plan.”

“If you say so.” She quirked her lips to the side. “What’s the story with you and her anyway?”

“We grew up together,” she answered, glancing away. “Right here. Then the minute she got away from this place, she decided to leave it all behind.”

“Ooh, backstory! Can I record this?” Her hair hovered over a button on her tape recorder.

“No. But don’t worry about me. Her leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. She was always Shadow Weaver’s favorite, but with Adora out of the way I was finally able to prove my worth to Lord Hordak. Adora always thought she had to protect me growing up, but she was just holding me back. Now that she’s gone, I’m stronger than ever.”

Entrapta squinted, then tilted her head to the side. “I kinda see what you mean. I only joined the Princess Alliance because I thought it would give me a chance to find out more about First Ones’ tech, but I learned more here than I ever did with them. I’m happy with where I’m at.”

“So am I.”

She turned around, leaning in and examining the currently lifeless computer. “Still, if you’re gonna bottle up all those feelings, you should figure out where to put them. Compartmentalizing is only healthy if you have an outlet for all the negative stuff.”

Catra blinked, taking a step back. “What? I’m not bottling anything up!”

“I may not interact with people much,” said Entrapta. “But I’ve spent a lot of time observing them. If you don’t find somewhere to let all that fire out, eventually you’ll burn up.”

Lunging forward, she grabbed the Princess by the shirt and slammed her against the computer monitors. “Listen, you. I—”

She stopped short as the computer lit up, followed by the rest of the room. Ignoring her, Entrapta clapped her hands together excitedly. “Yay! We’re back online!”

Catra let go, and the Princess dropped down into her chair, clacking away at the keyboard like no time had passed. “Okay, no damage to core system files. Virus is contained and the crystal can be safely removed.” She did so with her hair, placing it back on the desk where it originally sat. The door opened, and Emily skittered inside, where Entrapta embraced the robot in a big hug.

“Finally.”

“You see? Once you lock up and throw away the negative parts, the whole system works better.”

Rolling her eyes, Catra walked out the door. “Just don’t kill all of us with that thing. Or at least give me a heads up first.”

“You got it!”

Marching through the hallway, Catra took the scenic route to her new quarters, passing by cadets and avoiding Scorpia. She wasn’t in the mood for her particular brand of cheeriness after the experience she’d just had. Finally, she crested a staircase and opened the door, collapsing on a bed that was entirely too large compared to what she was used to. After tossing and turning for a few  minutes, she stood up, walking out to the balcony that looked over most of the Fright Zone.

Retrieving the paper from her pocket, she undid the crumpling as best she could, but it could never be perfect again. Not like it was before. She stared at it for a while, letting the memories wash over her, before crumpling it again and drawing her arm back, ready to hurl it over the balcony.

But she couldn’t.

Unrolling and flattening it out once again, she grabbed a small dagger from one of the shelves, and stabbed it through the paper, into the wall. It was the last thing she saw before she fell asleep.

[soepicsokim]

Chapter 27

*WARNING!!! there is talk of death and violence*

It’s been three days since I’ve been taken. My captors have kept me sedated, they haven’t fed me in those three days either. Dick was going crazy looking for me. He couldn’t do anything at the Police Department because he was too close to the situation, but Nightwing went out every night following all the leads he could.

    The fourth night Dick was running across rooftops to a run down building on the west side of town. He has been following Stewart for an hour now.He’s been all over the place, bars, candy stores, he even went by Dick’s apartment building. Dick was getting tired of the chase until he saw a shadowy figure talking to Stewart.

    Dick moves in closely to hear what Stewart was saying. Little did Dick know he was being watched by two people in the shadows.

    “Hey Stew, boss wants to know if you’ve heard anything from the Waynes.”

    Stewart clenched his fists, “No, I haven't. I dropped off the letter two days ago. I’m surprised they haven’t paid to get her back though. Especially since she is going to be the future wife of Grayson.”

    The shady figure steps closer to Stewart, “If the money isn’t here in two days, the boss is sending her to the bottom of the docks.”

    Dick was about to jump down and demand answers when a arm lands on his shoulder followed by a gruff voice, “We want to help.” Batman's face becomes stern as he looks at NightWing.

    Robin appears on the roof beside Batman and Nightwing, “She is in the building, father. By the way that things look, they have been keeping her sedated.”

    Dicks eyes narrow as he looks between Robin and Batman, “Talk.”

    All eyes and heads turn towards the warehouse where a loud sound could be heard and flashes of red could be seen.

********************

Warehouse:

    I have been listening to Dicks heartbeat and voice since I’ve been sedated and taken. When it sounded closer and I heard the anger and desperation behind his voice, that’s when I woke up.

I’m strapped to a chair with armed guards around me. Eyes glowing red I break out of the chair with a loud cry and disintegrate the people guarding me. Another person walks into the room and I fly as fast as I can to them and throw them against the way. A loud thud was heard as I throw the person against the wall a second time.

Eyes glowing red with intense heat, “Who the hell are you? What do you want? Why am I here?” My voice is low and harsh. The person doesn’t respond, they look at me with fear in their eyes and a trembling body. Their silence just angers me more. I erase their memory of the past week and throw them to the side.

Landing with eyes still glowing red I walk outside. Standing there, breathing deeply, I slowly let my eyes go back to normal before I close them and let out a deep sigh. A hand is gently on my shoulder before I spin around holding the person's wrist about to snap it.

Bruce stares back into my eyes with patience. He waits for me to snap out of it and realize that I’m safe. Not saying a word, not pulling his hand away, Bruce stands there dressed in his batman outfit not moving his eyes away from mine.

“Aren’t you scared of me? I just disintegrated a group of armed men.” I whisper as I still hold his wrist backwards.

Bruce shakes his head slowly and his voice is as soft as mine, “I can’t be mad at you, or scared of you. You were just doing what you felt like you needed to do to survive.”

I gently nod and lower his hand, “I’m sorry about your wrist.”

He smirks, “You didn’t hurt me. It’s fine.”

I nod and let out a deep breath as I see Dick from the corner of my eye. He is running towards me. I take off running towards him. He slows down as he gets closer to me. I run into his arms and bury my face into the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry the dress is ruined and the tiara is missing. I’ll, I’ll pay you back. I promise. I’m sorry.” I hold on to him tight not letting go.

Dick shakes his head and rests a hand on the back of my head, “No, Lyds, it’s ok. As long as you're safe, it's ok.”

Bruce approaches, “We should probably leave before anyone finds us.”

Dick and I both nod, and while not letting go of him I fly up and out. I hover far above the city just holding him.

“I was worried about you.” Dick breaks the silence between the two of us.

“I’m sorry.” I sigh and turn my face away from his.

Dick takes his hand and places it on my cheek turning my attention back to him and his blue eyes.”Princess, don’t be sorry. I should have been the one to come and pick you up. I didn’t know Stewart was planning on holding you for ransom.”

I look deep into his eyes, “I understand.” I rest my head on his shoulder and let out a sigh.

Dick whispers, “Let’s go home, get you a shower, and some food.”

I nod and slowly descend into the city and fly to the apartment.

********************

The next Day:

    I sigh as I put the ruined dress back on. Dick and I agreed that it would be best if he was at the precinct while I stumbled in. So, that’s what I did. I put on the dress, made it look like I had fresh cuts and bruises. I even removed the vision field I had on my skin showing more scars. Scars I have hidden from myself and the world.

    I look at myself in the mirror. I watch as my fingers trace over scars on my arms from where Lex and Ra’s tortured me. No one, other than Jason, has seen these scars, Not even Dick. I grab Kryptonite and make a fresh cut on my hand and let the blood fall all over my dress. Ripping a piece of the dress off, I wrap it around my new wound. One last look in the mirror and I look like I’m ready to go to the police station.

    I sigh and grab a kryptonite ring. Closing my eyes I become invisible and make my way to the backdoor of the police station.

            I become visible in the alley and sigh. I open the door and start acting scared and panicked. I see an officer and walk up to them, “Where's Officer Grayson?”

            Their eyes widen as they see me and realise who I am. They usher me to a holding room and I sit in the chair nervously.

            The police chief and Dick stand on the other side of the glass. His eyes widen when he sees the scars and the cuts. “That's her. Thanks my Lydia.” He looks at his boss, “Can I go in there?”

    The police chief shakes his head, “We need to get a statement, get samples, then you can see her.”

    Dick nods and watches me through the glass, he knows I hear them and can see them but, he felt bad for not being with me. He sighs and crosses his arms as he watches the questioning begin.

    It took the rest of the day before they released me to Dick. I thanked everyone as I left the Police station. I stood outside the station in a pair of BHPD sweatpants and tshirt. I sigh as I hold Dicks hand, “It’s ok to ask.”

    He raises an eyebrow, “At home.”

    I nod and walk beside him to his car. I get in the passenger seat and watch as he sits in the driver seat.

    His eyes look over at me, “How long have you had the scars?”

    I gulp and put up the vision field causing the scars to disappear. My voice is a hoarse whisper as I look down at my feet, “Since Lex took me.”

A/N: What happened to Stewart? Will Dick ever get to propose? Stay Tuned.

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