#I’ll probably be drawing it in between midterms and answering asks so it’s gonna be a minute 😅

[askssgenerations]

I fear the lansoni brainrot is getting to me maybe it’s time to make an animatic 🥶 it’d be specifically tied to this au’s version of them lol

Check out the [playlist!] if you wanna hear the vibe I’m going for with them (spoiler it is not happy 😭)

I humbly ask for any song recommendations and/or theories of Lance and the King and I’ll try to include it in the animatic 🙏

Unrelated, but would yall like me to make ship names for each pair like Cybersecurity? Both to kinda give everyone more personality, and so you can later filter out posts of specific pairs if you want!

[qlala]

pleeease can we have more teacher barry au? or kidfic? my crops are dying

Alright, sorry for the slight delay on this one, but please know that you're a menace and I kept thinking about it and then I wrote this for you all in one sitting.

It's both teacher!Barry (though still set in the canon universe!) and coldflash kidfic. <3 I just put it up as a prequel to "good cop, bad cop" on ao3, since I guess it technically is that? Although, if you guys have opinions about what order the series should be in, I'd interested to hear it!

“Barry?”

“Hm?”

“You’ve got something in your hair.”

Barry hid a wry grin, and glanced over at Len—at least, glanced as far in his direction as he could manage. Two small hands were holding his head still, though Henry did let go of one handful of Barry’s hair to reach out when Len stepped around the coffee table and stood in front of them.

“Alright, kid.” Len bent down and hoisted Henry off Barry’s shoulders, and both of them ignored Barry’s indignant yelp when Henry didn’t quite remember to let go of Barry with his other hand in time. “I like the hair too, but he’s gotta move his head to”—Len propped Henry on his hip and reached out to steal the top page from the stack of papers in front of Barry—“grade pop quizzes.”

“Those are midterms.” Barry stretched, then tipped his head to one side with a muffled crack.

“Then you’re going easy on them.” Len took advantage of his distraction to hand the paper to Henry, who scrunched it in his hand with a broad smile.

[read on ao3, or continue reading below the cut]

“Len!” Barry recovered the paper in a sweep of yellow lightning, and Len traced his trajectory from the fading after-image even as Barry tried to smooth out the test on the arm of the couch.

“So feet on the coffee table are allowed when the Flash does it?”

“Language,” Barry reminded him, without looking up.

Henry, ever the trooper, was taking the loss of his prize in stride, and Len rewarded him by bending his knees to let him reach for the next paper in the stack.

“Leonard.”

“He’s working on his reading.”

“He’s eighteen months old.”

Len read the upside-down paper Henry was offering to him. “Another year for whoever’s test this was, they might be at his level.”

Barry got the same ruffled look he always did when he was torn between defending his students and agreeing with every hyperbolic praise Len had for their son. Eventually, he landed on, “You’re not helping.”

“I disagree.” Len accepted the paper from Henry, turned it right-side up, and finished skimming it. “You’ve got a typo in question three. That’s why they’re all putting ‘hydrogen.’”

Barry yanked the exam back, despite having a stack of identical ones on the table in front of him. His eyes went wide as he looked over it at Flash speed, and then he said a word that made Len cover one of Henry’s ears with his free hand and tut.

“You shape the minds of the next generation with that mouth?”

Barry wasn’t listening, too busy dragging his hand down his face, his fingers ending up in an annoyed fist over his mouth.

“Can you please,” he said slowly, evenly, with the couples-shrink-approved, conflict-management voice that always made Len smirk, “give Henry his snack.”

“With pleasure.”

Barry leveled him a glare, but it was without heat, and he tilted his chin up in a clear request for a kiss when Len passed behind the couch again.

Len obliged. He could feel some of the stress drain out of Barry’s shoulders when he drew his fingertips over the edge of Barry’s jaw with the hand not still supporting Henry.

“Hi,” Barry murmured when Len pulled back, at least a full minute later than he’d intended. “Missed you.”

“I was gone an hour.”

Barry’s answering smile was crooked, with an unabashed dimple that Len refrained from tracing his thumb over; he had a reputation to protect. “You know, you could just say it back sometimes.”

“Fine.” Len smirked as he tweaked a cowlick that Henry had left in Barry’s hair. Then he met Barry’s gaze, all false sincerity, and drawled, “Hi.”

Barry rolled his eyes. He couldn’t hide the wry smile even when he turned his head away for a second, though, and he gave Len a playful glare. “You know I meant—“

“Hi!”

For a second, neither of them moved. Then Barry reeled back with something like panic in his eyes, alarmingly contagious, based on the way Len’s heart tripped into fourth gear. “Did he just—“

Len hoisted Henry up to sit on the edge of the couch, and they both stared at him. He ignored them both for a few moments, small hand squishing the cushion before he watched it slowly expand back to its original shape. Then he noticed their eyes on him, and looked up with a beatific smile. “Hi!”

Barry was off the couch in a bolt of lightning, then back a heartbeat later with his phone out, talking so fast he was nearly incomprehensible. “Twice, Joe, I swear, he looked right at us—“

Len got a glimpse of Detective West’s patient expression on the phone screen as Barry waved it toward Henry. “Barr, you said that the last three times. I told you, kids talk when they’re ready. Iris didn’t say a word until she was—“

Barry turned the phone and held the screen out to Henry. Len bit back a reflexive objection; they’d agreed, no screens until he was five (and it’d be eighteen if Len had his way).

Henry reached out for the phone, all Barry’s reckless confidence when confronted with anything new.

Tinny over the speakerphone, West’s voice said, weary but unflaggingly affectionate, “Hi, Henry.”

Barry let Henry have the phone—and that time, Len did shoot him a look—and Henry flattened a tiny palm over West’s face on the screen. Then he tilted his head thoughtfully, lifted his hand, and chirped a delighted, “Hi!”

Barry swept him up with a rush of static that made Henry shriek with laughter, phone forgotten in an instant. Barry deposited them both at Len’s side with a breathless grin, and Len didn’t quite manage to disguise his own smile as a smirk when they looked up at him in unison. West’s voice was still coming from somewhere nearby, but Barry could fish the phone out from between the cushions later. For now, Barry was getting suspiciously bright-eyed, and Len lifted Henry out his arms before Barry could set the kid off crying, too.

“Who had ‘hi?’” he asked. He ruffled Henry’s hair, already overdue for a cut, dark and curling up at the ends. Henry only allowed it a moment before he started to fuss, his snack clearly not forgotten despite the excitement.

“Iris,” Barry hiccuped. He wiped the heel of his hand over both cheeks, then said, “She had ‘hi’ and ‘bye.’ She’s gonna be insufferable.”

“She’s gonna be rich,” Len countered. “Mick put ten grand on ‘Flash.’”

Barry shook his head on a laugh. “You did explain to him that we’re specifically not letting people say that in front of him? Given the whole”—he gestured, with a glimmer of lightning that distracted Henry into a fresh smile—”child’s grasp of a secret identity?”

“And deprive the pool of his ill-gotten gains?” He passed Henry back to Barry and tapped him on the tip of his nose. “Never.”

“She’s just gonna put it in a college fund.”

Len hummed, and didn’t mention the account he’d already placed a quarter mil into at the credit union downtown.

Barry’s eyes narrowed all the same. “What was that?”

“What was what, dear?” Len leaned hard on the pet name, flat and sarcastic, but he knew even before Barry straightened up that it wouldn’t work.

“That ‘hmmm.’ That was an I’m-not-telling-you-something ‘hmmm.’”

Len was saved by the bell, literally.

Someone leaned hard on the buzzer to the front door. A second later—and utterly predictably, given the number of metas in the family Len had married into—Wally West phased through the door, bouncing on his toes and looking around the room before he even finished setting Iris on her feet.

“Joe says Iris won,” he said.

Barry tore his suspicious gaze away from Len to blink over at the new arrivals. “Joe knew about the pool?”

“People on six different earths knew about the pool, Barr,” Iris said. She leaned on Wally as she toed out of her work heels. “Now, give me my favorite nephew. Can you say, ‘journalism school,’ Henry?”

Barry let her scoop Henry out of his arms, his brow still furrowed. “Wait, six different earths? How much was in the pool?”

He sounded a hair indignant, and Len took the opportunity to snake an arm around his waist and pull him back against his chest.

“Say the word,” he murmured against Barry’s ear, smiling when he felt him shiver. “I’ll get you triple by dinner.”

He felt Barry’s heart speed up where his back was pressed against him, and Len nipped the shell of his ear to cement his victory.

“No felonies,” Barry reminded him, but his voice was breathless, and he didn’t disentangle himself from Len’s arms.

“Mm, forgot again,” Len lied. “How about we send Iris and Wally to show Henry’s first word to Joe in person, and I make it up to you?”

A blush was climbing steadily up Barry’s neck, and he’d already shown his hand when he said, “The midterms. Progress reports go out Friday, I have to—“

“Telling me the fastest man alive can’t grade a stack of ninth grade chemistry tests before third period tomorrow?”

“They’re for my AP class,” Barry gasped, and he caught Len’s hand where he’d been tracing his fingers down Barry’s stomach. But he cleared his throat, then said, “Iris? Maybe you wanna bring Henry to the station? It would make Joe’s day.”

Iris gave him a knowing look, but her eyes were warm when she shared her smile with Len. “Mm. I bet it’ll make someone’s day.”

“Singh’s, probably,” Wally said, where he’d been drawing increasingly elaborate flowers of static out of the speed force for Henry’s fickle amusement. Then he glanced up. “Oh. Oh, you meant—yeah. Alright. I’ll grab the diaper bag. And congrats, you guys. On the first word, not the—“

Iris patted his arm and interrupted with, “The station, Wally?”

Wally ducked his head on a nod and gave them both a sheepish grin.

“Make sure your father doesn’t arrest my sister,” Len said. “She’ll show up as soon as she gets the intel out of Cisco.”

“No promises,” Iris said. “But I’ll give him the heads up. Bye, boys.”

The after-image of Wally’s lightning hadn’t even dissipated when Barry dropped his back against Len’s shoulder, one foot tapping rapidly. “Are we bad parents?”

Len nosed at the corner of Barry’s jaw and slid his fingers under the hem of his shirt. “No.”

“Maybe we should—should’ve, uh, reinforced it, more. He might get—confused. He said ‘hi,’ but we—oh my god, did we even say ‘bye?’ Len—“

Len spun Barry and pushed him back against the couch, then kissed him to distract him from looking anxiously at the front door. “You’re overthinking this.”

“I’m overthinking this,” Barry agreed. “No, I’m not. Len, his snack—“

“There are snacks at the station. Joe has a drawer full of Cheerios.”

Barry slid a hand through his hair, gave one last jittery look toward the door, and then slumped back against the couch with a laugh. “You’re better at this than me.”

“Already did it once,” Len said, smoothing the worry out of Barry’s brow with the pad of his thumb. “And look how Lisa turned out.”

It didn’t land the way Len had aimed it to. Barry gave him a warm smile instead of an alarmed look, and Len had to tick his gaze away for a break from the earnestness in that expression.

“Yeah,” Barry said. “Yeah, okay. Now maybe we could, uh, stop saying our family members’ names for a little while?”

Len rolled his eyes, but he allowed Barry a brief smile as he hooked his fingers in the front of his belt. “I thought you’d never ask.”

*

*

[❤️ Link to Ao3 ❤️]

[alpacaparkaseok]

The Other Side

Part One

Genre: KSJ Soulmate au

Warnings: none

Word Count: 8.7k

What is tachycardia?

Tachycardia: abnormally high heart rate

Causes: exercise, stress, anxiety, fear, anger, or love

Ventricular tachycardia: may be life threatening; please see: “soulmate”

Since I could begin to retain information around the age of four, I have been taught one thing over and over again.

Soulmates = mortal danger.

Granted, I wasn't the only one who was taught this. I wasn’t raised in some strange cult or taught that love was discouraged.

No, actually. It’s just a part of life.

Soulmates are commonplace, my own parents being an example of that. The world we live in is riddled with beautiful contradictions, one of the most prominent of all those lovely contradictions being the existence of soulmates.

There is no fancy system put into place, no timer or thread of fate that ties us together. There’s really no way of knowing who or when or where you’ll meet the person that is supposed to complete you and bring joy to your life.

I’m sure there’s some sort of way that fate decides when, seeing as the majority of people meet at a fairly young age. The number of soulmates that meet over the age of fifty are few; although it’s been known to happen a couple of times among senior citizens placed into nursing homes.

Soulmates are the sole reason that most children can pronounce the word “tachycardia” before they reach the age of seven.

Tachycardia typically isn’t fatal, it’s something people tend to experience quite often when the circumstances change. Out on a run? You’re probably experiencing tachycardia. Terrified that there’s a burglar in the house? Yep, tachycardia coming right up.

Have you just stumbled across your soulmate for the first time? Tachycardia in its most extreme form will hit you like a brick wall in just a second.

“Who can tell me what the first response you should have when you see that someone has made contact with their soulmate?”

A flurry of hands fly up to the sky, my own included. The steps are rushing around in my brain, just begging to be let out.

“Haneul?” I’m called on and fight a smile as I answer my instructor’s question.

“First, move one of them to a separate room. Place a door between them if possible, and then call 911 if there are no soulmate assistants available.”

My instructor nods, smiling warmly at me. “Exactly. Now can somebody go through the calming exercises step by step…”

Somebody nudges my side, and I turn to see my friend and fellow applicant, Yuri, smiling at me.

“You’re totally getting in,” she whispers to me.

I roll my eyes. “Just because I answered one question right?”

“He remembered your name...that definitely means something.”

Turning my attention back to the front before we’re caught whispering, I entertain the idea before kicking it out. It’s best to not think about it too much, I can’t look like I’m bored or not paying attention. This is too important a day to give a bad impression. The sigil on the instructor’s shirt only serves as a reminder.

The Bighit entertainment logo stands out like a beacon as the instructor moves about, calling up a couple of applicants to demonstrate how to properly restrain someone without hurting them.

His movements call attention to the yellow circle below the Bighit logo, the color that marks him as a ‘soulmate assistant’. Basically just a fancy word for someone who has to make sure if an idol accidentally meets a soulmate at a concert or any other event, nobody dies.

Everyone goes home happy. Alive, and newly bonded.

And if I get this job, that means I’ll go home happy and paid. That’s all I could ever want, isn’t it?

If we’re being completely honest, being hired on as a professional soulmate assistant for Bighit or any other big agency would be a dream come true for someone like me. I would get to travel, meet new people, all the while receiving a steady paycheck while attending concerts for free.

Sure, it’s a tough job. It requires constant vigilance; a single yawn at the wrong time could mean disaster. Which is part of the reason why my parents thought I was a bit crazy wanting to go into such a profession. They backed off a little once I showed them what kind of money I’d be in for, though.

All of it has led to this moment: going through one final walkthrough before we’re called in for individual interviews and eventually left to leave things up to fate. It’s a pretty big deal to have even made it this far. The actual interview process with the soulmate board of Bighit entertainment is rigorous, eventually leading to a one on one interview with one of the managers of either TXT or BTS.

Our group that started off with just over 200 applicants has been filed down to ten. Tensions are high, Yuri’s near constant fidgeting is a sure sign of that.

Ten remain, but only two will be hired on. One for BTS, and one for TXT.

Not gonna lie, I’m hoping I’m getting interviewed for TXT. I have a hunch that Yeonjun, Beomgyu and I would get along great.

Not that I’m picking favorites.

Our small overview comes to an end, the instructor getting to the part we’ve all been waiting for.

“If you’ll remain here for a few minutes, we’ll be pulling a few of you in for interviews. Remember, if you don’t get interviewed today that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Don’t overthink it too much.”

The instructor leaves the room, and a collective sigh goes throughout our small group. Yuri is bouncing her knee, keeping her eyes planted on the wall in front of her. All I can do is wait, I suppose.

Life is cruel that way. It’s the same way with soulmates. All there is to do is wait. Live life as if you aren’t waiting for that one heartstopping (or rather, heartstarting), moment in which you come face to face with the person fate has decided will love you better than anyone else on earth.

It would be foolish of me to say that everyday for the past four years I haven’t entered my classes on campus or any restaurant holding my breath in hopes that today would be the day. College campuses are a kind of hotspot for soulmate activity; one of my trainings was actually spent just shadowing different classes and waiting for something to happen. It was my first hands-on training, and it only lasted a week.

In a single week I assisted in four different soulmate placings.

And that was in the middle of midterms; when the odds of meeting your soulmate are fairly low because stress levels are high. People are less likely to mingle with different groups of people, if they even bother to look up from their textbooks at all. So needless to say I was always waiting for it to happen.

Always waiting, never experiencing. It’s safe to say that after I graduated both my parents and I were a bit disappointed. While it’s not necessarily uncommon for people to reach college graduation age without a soulmate, it’s also an instant way to get everyone to pity you.

Sure, I wallowed for a while in self-pity. However, once I set my mind on pursuing a career in soulmate assisting within an idol group, I was an unstoppable force. And as for finding my soulmate? I used the possibility of working for Bighit as another way to make my parents feel better about their lack of a son-in-law.

If I get the job, I’ll be traveling the world. The chances of me meeting my soulmate would surely skyrocket.

“Choi Haneul?”

I jerk out of my stupor to see the instructor waving me over. Yuri gives me a light nudge, smiling at me encouragingly as I make my way over to the door with a pounding heart.

Fun fact: many people panic and think they’re experiencing what are referred to as “soulmate spikes” the second they start to feel a spike in their heart rate. 9.9/10 times they’re wrong. One way to tell if you really are experiencing soulmate spikes (the initial spike in heart rate upon seeing your soulmate) is if you’re also experiencing intense tunnel vision.

The instructor gives me a curt nod, refusing to give anything away. He simply escorts me down the hallway and into a room where someone is looking over some papers.

Sejin, manager of BTS.

Maybe he’ll pass me along to TXT if he thinks I’d vibe better with them? No, I think to myself. There’s no way I’m about to undermine myself.

“Choi Haneul?” Sejin asks me, a light smile on his face as he looks up at me. I nod, unsure of whether or not I should even say anything. “Please, take a seat.”

The instructor closes the door behind him as he leaves, and suddenly I’m alone with someone I never realized could be perceived as intimidating.

“It’s very nice to meet you, I’m Sejin.”

I nod, fighting a sarcastic chuckle. Does he actually think I don’t know who he is, or is he just being polite? “I’m Haneul, thank you for having me.”

Sejin smiles again, looking back down at his papers. “Of course. Now, this probably won’t be a very long interview. Your stats speak for themselves.” He waves the paper in the air, and I see my application form as well as my transcripts from college. “I do just have a few questions for you, if that’s alright?”

“Of course.” I put pressure on my legs, reminding myself to keep still.

“Wonderful. First off, how comfortable are you with constantly being in new environments and having to adapt to an idol’s schedule? It’s a rigorous one.”

Chewing on the inside of my cheek I process the question. “I wouldn’t say that I’m very comfortable at all.”

Sejin’s eyes grow wide, but he proceeds. “And why is that?”

“I wouldn’t want to grow comfortable with it. That would draw away my attention from my job, and my job pretty much depends upon me remaining alert at all times. Now, could I adapt to the schedule? Without a doubt.”

Sejin gives a small chuckle, leaning back against his seat. “Huh. Interesting.”

☆

“C’mon, we have to celebrate!” Yuri bounces up and down, practically glowing. “I can’t believe we both got interviewed!”

I smile along with her, still a little giddy. “Yeah, but don’t you think that’s a little premature? It was just an interview, after all. The really important part is if they call you after.”

“Whatever, don’t you want to celebrate with me? I never thought I’d make it past the first week.”

That I can definitely agree with. It’s a competitive field for sure, and the agency does its best to weed out the weak. For good reason, obviously. Nearly half of the applicants the first week in were fangirls hoping they would match up with one of the idols they might work with. And the other half? Those were the ones who quickly realized that they weren’t crazy enough to want a job that required excessive time and effort.

“Alright, where do you want to go?”

Yuri jumps in place making me laugh. Dragging me along behind her, we take the first taxi we can find. The streets of Seoul are filling up now that the evening is coming along. It’s a Friday night; everybody is going to be out and about, celebrating the end of another week.

When we make it to the little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that the two of us have frequented a little too much over the past few months, there’s a fairly large crowd mulling about. We squeeze into a booth after paying for our food, finally able to eat without feeling like I’m going to throw up from the stress.

“Wow, is it just me or does this taste even better now?” Yuri looks up at me with wide eyes and full mouth.

“Is it just me or do you look like a gopher right now?”

If it wasn’t for the piles of food between us I’m sure she would have smacked me. She settles for a quick kick to the shin instead. Hissing at her, she offers me a sweet smile.

“So what’s Sejin like? He’s always seemed like a sweet little teddy bear to me.” Yuri asks before shoving more food into her mouth.

I shrug, thinking back over my interview. The entire thing probably only lasted about 20 minutes, but I think it went well. “He’s nice. Professional, but he honestly wasn’t that grueling. He just said my stats pretty much did all the talking. I think he was just trying to see if I was crazy or not.”

Yuri snorts, nodding along. “Same. Do you think you passed the crazy test?”

“Too soon to tell.”

We delve back into our food, talking more about our interviews. Despite the huge unanswered question hanging between us, did we make it?, the stress from earlier has dissipated. There’s nothing left to do except wait. I feel satisfied with all the work I’ve put in; there’s not a lot more I could’ve done.

It’s the sound of someone’s phone ringing that has us pausing. We look at each other with wide eyes, but there’s no way they’ve already made their decision-

“It’s just my mom,” Yuri sighs out as she brings the phone to her ear. She chats with her mother for a few minutes, reassuring her that everything went well today. I mindlessly push my food around, the sound of Yuri’s ringtone put me on edge for a moment. They definitely won’t call tonight. We just finished!

“What did your mom say?” I ask once she hangs up. Yuri shrugs.

“Just wanted to know if I was interviewed. She said she’s rooting for the both of us, she seemed pretty relieved that we’re not going for the same position.”

That’s right. While I was pulled in for an interview with Sejin, Yuri was pulled in for an interview with TXT’s managers. As far as we’re concerned, we’re now contending for our spots as soulmate assistants to two different groups. And considering that each group is only looking for 1 assistant, it’s pretty competitive. The instructor did say there was a small chance of hiring two per group, just depending on their needs. One of those would only be a part-time assistant though. Definitely not the ideal position.

“Yeah, same here-”

Yuri’s phone lights up again, and this time there is no sigh of relief as she sees who’s calling.

Looking up at me with wide eyes, she looks like she might throw up all the food we just ate. “It’s the agency.”

Gasping aloud, I drop my chopsticks and wave at her to hurry. “Answer it! Quick!” Yuri gives me a terrified look before slowly bringing the phone up to her ear. I chew on my lip as I watch her expression change from terrified to startled.

“R-really? That’s great news!” Yuri bounces up and down in her seat, and I mirror her movement. “Of course! 9am? Sounds perfect...I’ll be there! Thank you so much!”

She drops her phone on the table as she pants. “...so?” I ask her, and she grins up at me.

“I got the job!”

We both scream a little louder than necessary, the people sitting in the both across from us glaring in our direction. “No way! That was so fast!”

She nods, running her hands through her hair. “I know! They just said the decision was easier to make than they expected, seeing as I have the most experience out of the people they interviewed. I’m supposed to head in tomorrow to go over the contract and get to work.”

There’s a little twist of uncertainty in the pit of my stomach as I realize that Yuri was hired within a matter of hours. What does that mean for me?

“That’s amazing, Yuri. I’m so proud of you.”

She shakes her head, unable to stop smiling. “I’ve got to call my mom, should we head out?” I nod, following her out of the restaurant. She’s practically skipping to a taxi, waving it over. I laugh at her behavior.

“I can’t believe it though. Make sure you tell Yeonjun that we’re meant to be best friends.”

Yuri slides into the taxi, and I follow after her. She fixes me with a dazed smile as she gives directions to her apartment. We live in the same complex, so it’s easy to go anywhere with her.

“I’ll be sure to tell him. Who knows, maybe the two of you are soulmates!” Yuri winks at me even as I cringe.

“No way, he’s way too young for me.”

Rolling her eyes, Yuri manages to get one more comment out before her mother answers the phone. “Whatever, you’re only like what? Three years older? Mom! Guess what!”

By the time we make it to our apartments Yuri is still gushing to her mom on the phone. My own parents texted me, I just responded and told them I was interviewed. Their obvious excitement over making the interview fails to buoy me up, though. Not when I’m becoming more and more convinced that I’m not going to be receiving a call tonight.

Perhaps I’ll wake up to a consolation email in the morning, thanking me for my time and sending me on my way.

Yuri invites me over to her apartment to continue in the celebrations, but I opt out of it. She frowns, about to apologize or something but I speak up before she can. I don’t want any apologies; not yet. That makes it seem like it’s really over.

“My parents are begging me to call them and you know how long they can talk for,” I say, backing away. “I’d better go call them now so I can still get to sleep at a decent time. Congrats again, Yuri. You deserve it. Let me know how everything goes tomorrow, ok?”

Yuri nods, still frowning. “You sure you don’t need anything?”

“Nope! I’m all good. Good night!”

I wave before turning and heading up the stairs. Yuri lives on the ground floor whereas I live on the third. It’s a small apartment complex, and it’s pretty quiet most of the time. Tonight though, people are celebrating the weekend, and the sounds delve into my ears until I have to screw my eyes shut and press my hands up to my ears.

Leaning against my door the second I close it behind me, I sigh. The thoughts are too loud in my head right now.

What started off as a hopeful day has effectively crashed and burned right before my eyes.

Peaking one eye open I glare at the big world map I have hanging up in my living room. To anyone else it’s just another lovely piece of artwork. Painted on a thin canvas with vibrant greens, blues and purples it draws the eye and fills people with wanderlust.  

For me it represents a dream that is becoming more and more unobtainable.

My best friend from my childhood found her soulmate five years ago. We were freshly graduated from high school, it was perfect. I thought that it was perfect, at least. They were able to finish growing up together, figuring out college and taking time to really fall in love before life became too crazy to hardly eat.

They got married two years ago. It was beautiful and they made it look so easy. They finished up college together and moved to Gwacheon. I haven’t seen her for a year now, we’ve just been naturally growing apart.

She’s always been supportive of me trying to find my soulmate. It’s odd, seeing that I’ve always been the one obsessed with learning about them and preparing for that moment and she’s the one that just happened to stumble upon her soulmate right after she turned 18. But she never made me feel like I was falling behind or at a loss.

Our last phone call reminds me of the entire reason why I bought that gigantic world map in the first place, hanging it where I would see it every time I walked in the door at the end of the day.

“You know Haneul, he’s out there. There’s no question about that.”

“I know...just, where? I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to be found.”

“That’s not true. And if it is, I’ll personally slug him for you.”

“Thanks, I think?”

“You know what you need to do, Han?”

“I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”

“Of course I am. You just have to go out there! Get out in the world, get out of Seoul, and go live your life! The second you get out and start living your life will be when everything falls into place for you. I’m certain of it.”

“I’d love to do that, really. But how on earth do I manage that? I need a stable job, I have an apartment to pay for. I can’t just leave everything to go in search of someone I’ve never met and who maybe isn’t ready to be found.”

“It’s up to you. But I know you, and you’re not happy. I can’t imagine it, I’m not going to pretend to understand. We both know I got lucky...but really Haneul. I know it’s scary and there’s a lot that you don’t know the first thing about, but I just think that if you want to move on from this you have to leave the apartment and get out there. And you think he isn’t ready to be found? Nobody ever is. But I can guarantee that the two of you are both ready to be loved.”

It’s been nearly ten months since that phone call, and it’s been nearly ten months since I became friends with Yuri and found out about the agencies beginning their hiring process. It seemed too good to be true, especially once I found out about the heavy schedule filled with nearly nonstop travelling and meeting people.

I always knew there was a reason I went into the soulmates studies. Finally it seemed like the opportunities were appearing that I so desperately needed.

Ten months. Rigorous training and exhausting schedules that sometimes had me wondering if this really was the right path for me.

But every night, sometimes late enough to see the black sky begin to turn to a hazy gray with the promise of dawn approaching before I even had a chance to sleep, I stumbled home and saw that map.

Somewhere. Every night, I’d see it and chant the word to myself. Somewhere. You’re somewhere out there.

It’s worth it, isn’t it?

Slowly standing up from my position against the door, I glare at my phone as I take it from my pocket. No phone call.

Another glance at the map, the beautiful colors and lines mocking me as it tells me that while he may be somewhere, I am still here. And as long as I remain here, where my soulmate is will be a big question mark.

No phone call. No job. No soulmate.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I make my way to my bedroom. Now would probably be a great time to shower, but I’d much rather just lay here on my bed and stare up at the ceiling as I wallow in self-pity.

“Happy Friday night to me.”

☆

I think it’s on the third ring that I wake up from my slumber, still in my clothes from the day before. Groaning out a few incoherent words, I search my blanket for where my phone is ringing incessantly.

“Who…?”

Finally grasping my phone, I hold it up to my squinting eyes. My mouth drops open of its own accord, my heart rate spiking. Clearing my throat, I attempt to sound like I didn’t just wake up as I answer the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello, I’m calling for Choi Haneul?”

My voice gets caught in my throat. “S-speaking.”

“Wonderful. My apologies for calling you so early, I’m manager Sejin, I interviewed you yesterday?”

Straightening out my clothes even though he can’t see them, I nearly scoff at the idea of him having to introduce himself. Like I’d forget.

“Right, no worries. How may I help you?” Slipping into the role of gracious host, I chew on my lip.

Sejin wastes no time getting to the point. “We certainly didn’t expect to come to a decision so quickly, but after reviewing the interviews and applicants, you were a standout Miss Choi. As a representative of Bighit entertainment and manager of BTS, I would like to offer you the position of central soulmate assistant. That is, if you’re still interested.”

I’m practically floating above the floor by the time Sejin finishes speaking. “I- yes! Yes, I would be honored.”

Sejin chuckles lowly. “That’s perfect. Let’s see it’s...6:30 am now? Would you be alright to head in to the company by 9 to go over your contract and meet with the senior soulmate assistant?”

He could have asked me to show up wearing nothing but a garbage bag at 3 in the morning, and I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes.

“Of course, I’ll be there!”

“I’ll send you an email with where to go and further instructions.”

“Thank you!”

Laughing again, Sejin allows me this bit of joy. “Thank you, Miss Choi. I’ll see you shortly.”

I’m nearly panting as I end the call, falling back against my bed and staring up at the ceiling with a mad grin. Then, body bursting with excitement I leap up from the bed and hurdle into the front room.

Hurtling to a stop before my map still hanging on the wall, I call my parents.

☆

“I wonder what it’s liiiiike,” I sing at the top of my lungs as I rummage through my closet for something to wear. Double checking the email from manager Sejin, I decide that it might be best to bring in some backup.

Bringing my phone up to my ear, I wait for Yuri to answer the phone. It’s barely seven in the morning, chances are she’s just getting ready as well.

“Haneul?”

The grin that’s been a permanent resident on my face for the past thirty minutes grows wider. “Yuri! I was wondering, could I carpool with you to the agency?”

It’s silent on the other side while Yuri connects the dots. “What do you mean...wait, shut up! You got it?! You got the job?!”

Yuri screams louder than I did while I was on the phone with my parents, but now I can’t help but scream right back. “YES! I got it! They just called me this morning!”

We’re both a happy mess as Yuri decides to bring her things upstairs to get ready with me. “I already picked out my outfit last night, I’ll just bring it up. Be right there!!” She really doesn’t waste any time, because less than two minutes later I open the door to find a panting Yuri nearly buried beneath her pile of clothes and makeup bags.

“Here, let me take that,” I mutter, laughing as she lets me ease some items of clothing off of her pile. “That was fast.”

“Han!!! I’m so happy for you!” As soon as we dump her stuff on my bed, Yuri pounces on me and begins trying to strangle me like a boa constrictor. “I was so nervous for you, and I didn’t want this to drive us apart. I knew for a fact that you were by far the most qualified, they would’ve been complete idiots to let you go!”

Laughing, I drag the both of us over to the closet. “What are you wearing to this, then? What does ‘casual-nice’ even look like?”

Yuri takes the opportunity to show me her outfit, my jaw dropping as she puts it on and shows it off.

“I was thinking something like this,” Yuri says as she straightens out the sleeves of the sweater she wears beneath the checkered brown dress.

My mouth drops open of its own accord. “Wow.”

Yuri frowns as she goes to look at herself in the mirror. “Is it too much?”

“No,” I shake my head as I delve into my thoughts. “I’m just thinking that you’re going to make everyone in there wish you were their soulmate.”

Cheeks turning a furious red color, Yuri waves off my comment. “Whatever. Let’s find you something to wear.”

In the end I try on four different outfits before settling on one that I think will do the job. It’s certainly more simple than Yuri’s but I find that it’s more functional.

“So pretty,” Yuri coos as she gets ready beside me, the vanity proving to have just enough space for the two of us.

“Me or you?” I question, smirking at her. Yuri grins.

“Both.”

☆

Yuri ends up driving us to the agency, much to my eternal gratitude. Once the time came closer, I began to become more and more nervous. It’s been a long time since I’ve started a new job; I’ve been working at the university for the past four years and only quit about a month ago in order to make room for the rigorous training that was a result of making it to the final round of applicants.

I’m grateful for Yuri’s company as she chatters about how excited she is, it’s keeping my mind off of the nerves that are currently tying themselves into a knot in the pit of my stomach.

“I just really think that the boys seem really genuine, you know?” She says, tapping out the beat to the song playing on the radio on the steering wheel. “From everything that I’ve seen and heard about them, they seem really cool. I’m excited to meet them.”

Shaking my head numbly as we slow to a stop before a red light, I try to remember just how badly I wanted this job. “Yeah, they do. I’m jealous, I wanted TXT!”

Yuri cackles as she glances over at me. “You can’t even complain, you’re probably going to be paid way more than me!”

That much is true. While Yuri will still be traveling a lot and certainly have her hands full with the five members, I’m going to be paid more. With the constant traveling, meetings, and seven total members, my job will be nonstop.

Either way, the moral of the story is this: we’re about to make some major money. But there won’t really ever be enough time to spend it.

That’s not why people become soulmate assistants. Those that go after it for the money are quickly weeded out. A job that requires all of your time and then some is exhausting, and the uncertain element of every situation is enough to drive some people crazy. I’ve heard about how concerts can be nightmares sometimes, especially when the crowd is huge.

Just imagine it: one of the group members makes eye contact with someone for less than a second, and suddenly they’ve got tunnel vision and are trying to jump off the stage into the sea of adoring fans that are all too happy to receive them. Then, somewhere in the crowd of thousands of fans, there’s a poor person who’s freaking out and feeling the symptoms of tachycardia, but guess what? So is everyone in the crowd. Adrenaline is pumping through them all since they’re at their favorite band’s concert.

Long story short, it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. The biggest thing is for one of the soulmate assistants to grab the idol before they can abandon all reason and their heart gives out, and the other assistant has to find the fan who’s wildest dream just came true.

It doesn’t happen that often, but it has been known to happen on occasion. The most recent was at a TWICE concert, where Sana happened upon her soulmate in the middle of a set. The video of the soulmate assistant acting in record time to contain the situation went viral and it’s one that I had to watch several times throughout my training.

“You guys have a senior assistant, don’t you?” I ask, wondering at my title as central soulmate assistant.

“Yep,” Yuri starts back up again as the light turns green, checking the clock. We’ve still got plenty of time. “From the email they sent me it sounds like I’ll be a junior assistant for about six months before moving up to senior.”

“So fast?”

Yuri shrugs. “Sounds like the senior assistant is about ready to retire. What’s your title?”

“Central.”

“Oh, so fancy.”

There are typically two different forms of soulmate assistant hierarchy; the junior/senior pattern and then the central system.

Junior/senior system is pretty self-explanatory: the senior assistant has typically worked with the group for a while already, and the junior assistant acts as an apprentice of sorts. Learning the trade and preparing to someday take over the responsibilities of the senior assistant. They work as a team to ensure the safety of the group.

A central assistant is a more in-depth and new system. Essentially, I’ll have eyes and ears everywhere from various staff members, who are constantly updating me on potential soulmates. All of the staff have been educated in the basics of soulmate studies, so they know what to do to subdue the situation if need be.

According to Sejin’s email, I will most likely be the only licensed soulmate assistant on the team. My job is to remain close to the members so I can hopefully be the first on the scene to help and get everything under way.

It’s exciting, but also a lot of pressure. My only hope is that the boys don’t run into their soulmates for a while; I would like to at least get to know everyone before having to get all up in their personal space.

The agency looms before us in the morning sun, looking somehow inviting and dreadful at the same time. Yuri follows what the security tells her at the front, parking in the parking garage before turning the car off.

8:42.

“We’re a bit early, but at least now we’ll be able to find where we’re supposed to go.”

I nod numbly at her words, trying to fight the pounding in my heart. 

Side Effect #1: Rapid Pulse Rate

“I’m kind of freaking out.”

“Me too. I’m glad you’re here, though.”

“I’m glad you’re here, too.” I grin at Yuri.

It’s quiet in the car before we build up the courage to get out. Our shoes tap against the ground, filling the silent garage with noise. Once inside, we’re directed by a receptionist toward the offices of Sejin and TXT’s management. They’re on the same floor, so we take the elevator together.

As soon as the doors close, Yuri lets out a squeal. “I’m going to dieeee!”

Laughing giddily at her reaction, I lean up against the wall of the elevator and try my best to control my breathing. “Same. Same. Whoo, I need to breathe.”

Side Effect #2: Shortness of breath

The elevator ride is entirely too short, because before I know it Yuri is dragging me out into the hallway and searching for the office #12. I’m supposed to be looking for #17.

Of course Yuri finds hers first, my friend coming to a stop just before the door, turning to grab my hand with surprising strength.

“Quick, tell me that I’ll be fine,” she hisses.

Gently removing her hand from mine, I give her an encouraging smile. “You’ll do great, and everything will work out just fine, Yuri.”

Rolling her shoulders, she gives me a mock salute before stepping up to the door. “See you later?”

“Good luck.”

I scamper past as she knocks on the door, looking back as she’s ushered in by a middle-aged man who must be the senior soulmate assistant. He wears the tell-tale yellow circle on his shirt, his eyes wide and alert as though always on the lookout.

He must have left an apprentice with TXT; there are always a few mulling about the agency to step in for the main assistants when they need to attend to other things.

#17 is just a few doors down, the door already wide open as I walk up to it. I don’t allow myself to pause and freak out again, because I’m scared that they’ll hear me start screaming out here or something.

Shoving down the nervousness to the corners of my mind, I take a deep breath and tap the open door lightly.

Sejin sits at his desk, talking quietly to someone sitting in the chair before his desk. He looks up at me, smiling politely. The person in the chair before him turns around at the sound of my knock, and I find myself face to face with none other than the leader of BTS.

“Miss Choi, great to see you,” Sejin stands, Namjoon as well as he waves.

I bow, hoping that my face isn’t too red as I look into the office. It looks like it’s just Namjoon. What a relief.

“Thank you for calling me back,” I say, nodding to Namjoon. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Namjoon smiles at me, gesturing for me to take the seat beside him. “It’s nice to meet you, too. Sejin spoke highly of you.”

Shuffling into the office, I give Sejin a surprised look. “That was kind of you.”

“I was only telling the truth. Namjoon helped me make the decision in regards to the position, so don’t just thank me.”

Namjoon gives me a sheepish smile before settling back down in the chair. I follow suit, mumbling out a small ‘thank you’.

Once we’re all settled, Sejin produces a packet and slides it across the table to me, another one to Namjoon, and keeps one for himself.

“Ok, shall we get started?”

Sejin begins explaining the contract, Namjoon listening intently beside me. The fact that Namjoon helped with all of this makes me feel a little better somehow. It makes me feel like I won’t be quite so out of place with BTS.

We’re stuck in his office for nearly an hour just going over the finer details of the job, and by that time I’ve finally come out of my shell enough to form a few intelligent questions.

“How many staff members do you have that went through soulmate training within the past three months?” I ask, leaning back in my chair as I examine the Staff Preparedness section in the contract.

Sejin looks over something on his computer. “Within the past three months? Only two; the rest are within the year. We have them renew the course once a year. Why three months?”

“There was a technique that was completely discredited by Léo Dupont and they just began applying it in soulmate training within the past three months. While it may not seem that important, it can sometimes make a big difference in timing.”

Namjoon looks at me with wide eyes, a hint of respect blooming there. “What was the technique he discredited?”

“The glass door technique. It was believed that if the soulmates could still see each other but refrain from actual physical contact, this would assist in the ‘come down’ from the surge in heart rate.”

“It doesn’t?” Sejin asks.

I shake my head. “No, in fact, recent studies show that it nearly doubled the ‘come down’ time. It also served as a spike in the heart rate, long after it should have returned to a normal range. It nearly killed Jennifer Aniston before someone moved her to a more secure location. Best case scenario is a complete cut-off from view, and engaging in verbal contact rather than physical.”

“That’s good to know,” Sejin mumbles, typing something out on his laptop. “I’ll send out a memo with that information as well as advise staff to renew their training as soon as possible.”

We go over a few more details before Namjoon sits up in his seat. “We’re about done, right? I just got a text from Soobin saying they’re all gathered up and ready to go.”

My heart rate spikes again as I realize that we must be meeting together after this. And from the sounds of it, it’s practically the entire agency.

“Yeah, just about. Do you want to sign, Namjoon, and you can head out?”

Namjoon signs Sejin’s copy of the contract before getting up and heading toward the door. “We’re excited to have you join the team, Miss Choi.”

“Thank you! And you can just call me Haneul, don’t worry about it.”

Namjoon’s dimples make an appearance as he smiles back at me. “Then I’m just Namjoon to you. See you guys in a bit.”

Sejin covers the last few points in the span of ten or so minutes, clearly ready to get going like I am. We finish up going over vacation days when he leans back with a sigh.

“And yeah, I think that’s about it. Any questions? Today you’ll be getting a feel for the schedule and meet the boys and staff you’ll be working closely with, so don’t hesitate to ask them any more questions as they come.”

Palms starting to sweat with the idea of meeting the rest of Bighit shortly, I give a curt shake of the head. “I think I’m good for now.” Ignoring the tightness in my chest, I reach out for the contract.

Side Effect #3: Chest pain

“Wonderful. Just sign here, and I’ll send you a copy of this.”

☆

Sejin and I walk down the hall after being dropped off at the fifth floor. The second the elevator doors opened I could hear the ruckus of two kpop groups in one room.

To my shock Yuri’s voice rings out, followed by a bout of laughter. It would appear that she’s already found her place.

Sejin gives me an encouraging smile as we inch closer to the room at the end of the hall. “You ready? It’s been a pretty big couple of days for you.”

I can’t help but find comfort in Sejin’s attitude. I’m glad he understands the deer in the headlights look I’m probably sporting right now.

I hope my soulmate is like him.

The thought passes through my mind suddenly, making me go blank for a moment. While it’s a true sentiment, I have to focus on making a good impression today so I can find my soulmate another day.

One day at a time, Hanuel.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I respond, offering him a shaky smile in return. Sejin chuckles, and I wonder if he felt the same way early on in his manager days. I wonder if he still occasionally feels that way, now that BTS has grown more than anyone ever expected.

He goes before me, entering the room and already falling into a conversation with someone. I hesitate for a second, my heart pounding so hard that it’s hard to focus. Rolling my neck, I take a step into the room.

“Ah, there she is!” Yuri chirps out, leaving from where she was beside Beomgyu, who was showing her a video on his phone. “You guys took a long time.”

If my heart wasn’t currently trying to leap out of my ribcage, I would come up with something funny to say.

“Haneul is very thorough,” Sejin comments from where he stands beside one of the TXT managers. “Would you like to introduce yourself?”

“Quick,” I hear someone speak up, “Everyone pretend like Sejin didn’t just say her name!”

It was Hueningkai that made the comment. I can tell who it was because the boy in question is currently dodging an elbow to the ribs from Taehyun. Yuri laughs at their behavior before looking back to me expectantly.

“Oh,” my voice sounds a bit croaky. After clearing my throat, I try again. “Hello everyone. I’m Choi Haneul, it’s nice to meet you all.”

The seven members of BTS come up to the front, gathering in a line like it’s second nature. Namjoon gives me a small smile, which I take comfort in.

“Well, you’ve met me already...this is everyone else.”

Taehyung steps forward, giving me a small wave and grinning wide. “Just call me Tae.”

Jimin gives his friend a wide-eyed look. “Isn’t that a bit informal for just meeting?” Tae’s cheeks go a little red.

“Is it?” He asks, and I nearly pass out from the amount of sweetness in the room. “I think we’ll be good friends, so why not just skip the formalities?”

The boys reflect various levels of long-suffering as Jungkook shakes his head while the rest of the room laughs at Tae’s odd manner. “We both know it doesn’t work like that.”

Sejin answers the question I didn’t even know I was thinking. “In case you’re wondering, they’re always like this. Might as well get used to it.”

Yuri giggles at my reddened cheeks, but I brush off the embarrassment enough to look back at the boys. “That’s good to know.” The boys break from their line in order to return to wherever they were lounging about earlier. Once they turn to leave I feel a bit better; my heart calming down. Hopefully, with time, I’ll be able to breathe properly around them.

I remain near the door, unsure as to what to do next. It looks like Sejin and the other managers are preparing to give a debriefing of sorts and everyone is just waiting around for it. Thankfully, Yuri remains beside me.

“How are you holding up?” She asks me quietly. I give her a long look, conveying the depth of my feelings perfectly.

“I can’t calm down. I feel like I’m either going to pass out or going to run the length of Seoul in five minutes flat.”

Side Effect #4: Lightheadedness and/or fainting (syncope) 

Yuri snorts. “Now that I’d like to see.”

Taehyung calls out to me, pulling me from my conversation. “You’re from Seoul, Miss Choi?”

I smile warmly at him, already taking a liking to him. He’s one big contradiction: his looks make him appear intimidating, but he has the warmest personality.

“I’m originally from Anyang, actually. But I’ve been in Seoul for the past five years.”

“Oh, we’re neighbors!”

Jin is the one who spoke, and I look to where he stands behind the couch, leaning down to watch something on Jungkook’s phone. His eyes are turned up to me, a hint of excitement at being from neighboring cities evident in his expression.

Less than a second is all it takes.

In the second grade, I learned that within the span of a single second, a bumblebee can beat its wings 200 times.

That fact fascinated my young brain; 200 times in a single second?! Of all the wonders in the world I had discovered and had yet to discover in my life, this was the fact that stayed with me. How could such a small creature accomplish such an improbable feat, all within the confines of the time it takes to blink?

My junior year of high school I learned that the average pair of soulmates begin to experience the initial spike in heart rate that leads to tachycardia within the first 0.002 seconds of eye contact. That means, even if it’s a passing glance, the moment those two sets of eyes make contact, everything is about to change.

As I hold eye contact with Jin across the room, I believe that there is a small part of me that knows I should be thinking about everything I’ve learned about soulmates over the past few years. Where are the steps I used to recite day and night in order to keep them memorized?

Yet, that little 8 year old girl with wonder-filled eyes as she learns about bumblebee’s amazing abilities is the only thing I can come up with. Almost as if she’s in the room with me, looking back and forth between Jin and I with that same expression.

Something clicks for me in that single moment as my heart rate continues to jolt and jump. Something seems to connect between bumblebees and soulmates.

Like a bumblebee’s wings frantically beating to keep itself aloft, my own heart begins to do its best to meet the same pace.

Side Effect #5: Heart palpitations (a racing, uncomfortable or irregular heartbeat or a sensation of "flopping" in the chest)

I’m barely aware of distant voices all around me, a few growing in volume as the truth sinks in. I feel arms trapping my own against my torso, and I gasp for air as breathing becomes more difficult. Frowning, I realize that someone is trying to move me away.

Away?

Jin seems to notice I’m being moved away at the same time I do, because the frozen posture he had is broken as he straightens and lurches forward.

He’s all I can see. It strikes me in that moment that he looks a bit different in real life. Sharper, yet somehow more welcoming. Those eyes, although frantic, have kindness imbued in them. The fingers that are outstretched toward me are a bit crooked, and I can’t help but wonder for a moment if our hands will fit together like everyone always says soulmates do.

Wait, soulmates?

Amidst the pounding in my chest and burning lungs, I suddenly have a moment of clarity. The wiry arms wrapped around my torso must belong to Yuri, and she’s speaking calmly into my ear.

“Count with me, Haneul. 1, 2, 3…”

Opening my mouth and marveling at how dry and scratchy my throat feels, I croak out, “...4…5…”

“What comes next, Han?”

“...6.”

Yuri hums, gently trying to ease me backward. When my body locks up, she tries a new method. Coming around to face me, she keeps a firm grip on my shoulders, and gets up on her tippy toes to look me in the eyes.

“We’ve got to move you to a separate room, Han. You remember, don’t you?”

There’s a small voice in my head that wants to tell her that yes, I do remember. However it’s drowned out by the sound of my heart beating in my ears as it continues to pick up speed. Yuri is instructing the boys to grab Jin as he continues marching toward me on shaky legs. He’s only about three feet away, arms extending toward me while Yuri pins my arms down and shoves.

“Grab him!” Yuri shouts even as I cry out from being shoved away. In a flash I see a couple of different pairs of arms reaching out to Jin, effectively stopping him in his tracks as he struggles against them.

“Please,” Jin says in a surprisingly calm voice even as he pushes against Jungkook and Sejin. “Please, just let me-”

“Han, I know your mind is a jumbled mess right now, but please. Remember that this is a matter of life or death. You want to see him?” Yuri doesn’t wait for my response, which makes sense as I haven’t once looked away from Jin. “Then get out of here. Now.”

Like an electric shock to my senses, I breathe in deep. Still unable to look anywhere other than Jin - his sweater has a loose thread on the collar, I should fix that for him - I do the only thing I can.

Closing my eyes is like swimming through concrete, but gritting my teeth I just manage to do it. The second I break contact with Jin, my body relaxes just enough for Yuri to push against me and shove my unwilling feet out the door.

She has a firm grip on the back of my shoulders still as she shouts out to nobody in particular, “I need a room!”

Someone must answer her, because we abruptly change directions before coming to a stop. I refuse to open my eyes for fear of falling back into the imobile state I was in before, and Yuri still hasn’t given me the clear.

“Yeonjun, grab my bag! Bring it to me.”

The sounds of everyone scampering around are drowned out as I hear Jin’s broken voice calling out once more.

“No, don’t take her. Please don’t take her from me.”

Like a dam of freezing water breaking over my head, my eyes open and I spin around, seeing Jin breaking free of Sejin’s grasp and dragging Jungkook along with him.

Just as my eyes find his once more, the door slams shut.

Part 2

masterlist

taglist: @taylorroe3​ @dreamcatcherjiah​ @thecaffeinatedscribbles​ @marianeamine 

[middleofnowhere92]

Jetka for @the-messenger-hawk for my ATLA Valentine’s Day Oneshots

Conversation Hearts

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jet/Sokka (Avatar), Jet & Sokka (Avatar) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Modern Era Summary: It's Valentine's day, not that Jet gives a fuck. He almost gives a fuck about his midterm tomorrow, so he sits waiting for his new tutor.

Read on ao3 or below the cut 

Jet leaned back precariously in his chair in the athlete student center. He grabbed his pencil and flicked it at Longshot who was across the room with his tutor, some girl in engineering named Smellerbee. Pipsqueak and his tutor, Aang, laughed at Jet’s shenanigans as they packed up their things and left the study area. Jet huffed some of his unruly hair out of his face.  

He wished Aang was still his tutor, but the advisor for student athletes had switched around schedules with the spring semester. Now Jet was getting someone new. He chewed on the chalky heart candy in his mouth. It wasn’t the best taste, but it satisfied his incessant need to chew on something.

Longshot and Smellerbee packed up too and soon Jet was left alone, waiting for some tutor that probably wasn’t even gonna show up. He glanced at the clock. He really should just leave. Tutoring hours were done. Jet guessed whoever it was had a Valentine’s date that was more important than tutoring him.

He should just leave, but he had a midterm tomorrow in his agriculture econ class. He needed at least a C to play on Saturday. He glanced down at his blank study guide that he should have been filling out throughout the semester. The stress gnawed at him, so he gnawed on more conversation hearts.

The door was calling him, telling him to just leave and sleep through tomorrow’s exam like he typically would, but finally someone walked into the room.

Jet immediately recognized Sokka.

He also immediately recognized that he was fucked for tomorrow’s exam.

Sokka barely looked at him, “Look, I’m not in the mood to deal with your fucking bullshit. Let’s just go over your study guide so I can get paid and we can both go home.”  Jet continued balancing in his chair, “It’s good to see you too, Sokka.”

The other boy didn’t even look at him. He unceremoniously dropped his backpack, plopped down in the chair and pulled Jet’s empty study guide towards him. Jet tossed up a few hearts and caught them in his mouth. Sokka’s gaze never left his unimpressively blank study guide.

Jet, always uncomfortable with silence, shifted the discomfort to Sokka, “I’m surprised Zuko isn’t taking you out tonight, or are you doing something later?” Jet wasn’t college smart, but he was people smart. He knew exactly how to push people’s buttons. He took a perverse joy in riling up Sokka, only because he made it so easy.

“I explicitly said I’m not in the mood for your fucking brand of bullshit,” Sokka gritted out. His hands were grasping the meaningless study guide, causing almost enough tension in it for it to rip. Jet hadn’t calculated on Sokka getting this worked up over a simple question about his boyfriend.

Jet wasn’t one to apologize. He liked Sokka enough to almost want to, but he popped another candy heart in his mouth instead. The chalky taste seemed more unpleasant, but he swirled the candy around his mouth anyway, lodging it in the back corner of his jaw right above his molar.

Sokka shoved the paper back in front of Jet. He looked exasperated as he said, “You should try to fill it out. See what you know.” Jet scoffed, “I’m at tutoring because I don’t know jack shit.” Sokka’s cheeks sucked in like he had bitten something sour . He hissed venomously, “Two hours of tutoring isn’t going to make you pass an exam.” “Woulda helped if you had shown up on time,” Jet drawled as he leaned back in his chair, tossing up another heart to catch in his mouth.

Sokka barely moved, but his knee twisted just so, knocking Jet’s off balance. He sat up on the floor and glared at Sokka. He got up, thankful that he had just swallowed a heart and didn’t choke. He stood leaning on the chair, “What the fuck?”

Sokka pushed away from the table, turning on Jet, his eyes glassy and red, “I told you I couldn’t take your bullshit today. I fucking walked from the other side of campus, because the buses aren’t running, because there’s a little fucking snow on the ground. Why can’t people handle a few inches of fucking snow? But then I get here and I have to fucking tutor you and I tell you I can’t deal with your bullshit, but you serve it up steaming hot, because you are the king of all the assholes in the world and you can't help but be a douche canoe. No, not today, let’s just press all of Sokka’s buttons-”

Jet climbed over his chair and sat in the one Sokka had previously been occupying. He squeezed the other boy’s smaller hand just once as tears started to fall down Sokka’s cheeks. Jet fumbled for maybe the first time ever, “Shit, Sokka I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-” Sokka hiccupped loudly, his one tear morphing into a full on ugly cry.

“Zuko-" He wailed as he cried. “Broke up with me today.” His body shuddered in an effort to breathe through the sobs, “He was supposed to drive me here,” the last part came out as a broken off wail, “but we’re not together anymore.” Jet still held his hand drawing circles with his thumb.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” the word and the genuine feeling behind it were foreign to Jet.  Sokka looked at him, his blue eyes still glassy and pink. He pulled his hand away from Jet’s and wiped his eyes, “S’not your fault. Sorry, we should really do your study guide.”

Jet cocked his head to the side, like an overgrown confused puppy. He chewed on a candy heart and asked, "You sure? I can say we did tutoring. You'll get paid and you can go home." Sokka shook his head, his chin length hair shifting with the movement, "No, that's okay." Jet rolled his eyes at Sokka's decency, but scooted back into his own chair.

As they worked through the study guide Jet couldn’t help but focus more on Sokka than the material. He was an engineering and business major, not an Ag major like Jet. But the material came easily to Sokka as he glanced over the textbook that Jet had never even cracked open.

At the end of the two hours, Jet shoved his completed study guide in his book and crammed both in his backpack. He didn’t miss the wince from Sokka at the sound of the paper crumpling. Jet smirked and slung his backpack over his shoulders.

He stilted his steps to be more in line with Sokka's smaller ones. He dumped a few candy hearts into his large palm. He glanced at the pastel candies, holding out one to Sokka that read Let's get busy .

Sokka glared at him as they pushed the doors and the cold February air greeted them. He pelted the heart back at Jet, who caught it in his big mouth. Jet raised his hands up in triumph.

Sokka just shook his head as they walked. Jet bumped his side into Sokka's shorter shoulder. The shorter guy looking over at the taller athlete, "Thanks." Jet tossed up another candy and caught it in his mouth, "For what?"

Sokka shrugged shuffling in the snow, "I don't feel as shitty as I did." Jet grinned, his teeth not perfectly straight, "See, you do need my bullshit."

Jet skidded with chaotic glee across the icy sidewalk in his slides, his socks soaking in bits of snow. He thought about offering Sokka a night to forget Zuko, taking the pretty boy back to his apartment. This could be Jet’s only shot at making Sokka his. But something in him made him keep his thought to himself.

He knew how in love Sokka had been with Zuko. They did seem dam near perfect for each other. Jet calculated as he tossed a snowball that purposefully just missed Sokka's hair.

He didn't want Sokka just for a night. If he got him he couldn't just let go. Tonight, Jet had actually gotten through the wall that always seemed to be between the two of them.

He jogged, not using his full speed as Sokka scooped up snow and flung it, hitting Jet on the back of his neck. Sokka's eyes were back to their normal clear blue. His laugh was enough to warm Jet, who was just wearing a hoodie as he brushed off the snow.

He put his hands up, "I surrender! There's a pizza place open up here. Wanna stop?"

Jet's heart seemed to stop as Sokka chewed on his lip, debating his answer. He nodded, "Sure. Can't turn down pizza." Jet followed him in the small dive. They ordered and sat. Surrounded by other couples, as they debated over whether pineapple was a viable pizza topping.

Their legs or elbows would inevitably brush as Jet swung on the stool he was perched on. He kept throwing out new topics for debate, getting a thrill over seeing Sokka's eyes get fiery over whether Pepsi or Coke was better.

As Jet finished off his fifth slice of pizza, Sokka glanced in disgust at the small pink box on the counter between them, "I don't know how you can eat those things."

Jet shrugged as he stuffed the last of the chalky candies in his mouth, "I'll put just about anything in my mouth." "Noted," Sokka quipped. The two of them burst out in laughter.

As they stepped back outside, Jet looked at Sokka through his shaggy hair. His slides scraped against the salted side walk, "Same thing next week?" The cold was making Sokka's cheeks tint a pretty shade of pink. He rolled his blue eyes, "You wouldn't need tutoring if you just paid attention."

Their bickering continued as they walked, lost in conversation.

[svedone-writes]

it was always you | t.h. | year one, part two

pictures from the esquire china shoot and the man about town shoot, others are stock/public domain, moodboard created by me!

series masterlist

series summary: tom holland is your boy next door–well, technically, he’s the boy across the hall, but that’s not important. what isimportant is that you’re now in college, the perfect time to branch out and try something new. tom is the perfect way to do that: he’s attractive, funny, kind, caring–and unfortunately, not into you…or so you think.

chapter summary:  the aftermath of your confession. tom isn’t great at making good decisions.

warnings: mentioned underage alcohol usage, minor swearing

word count: 3k

author’s note: please read my recent psa about this series! in summary, parts going forward are going to be a lot shorter than the first one and “year one, part three” may be postponed a week. my psa gives a full explanation! also, someone asked about a tag list--since this series updates at the same time every week, i probably won’t do a taglist. however, in the future for blurbs/new series/whatever, i would definitely be open to one, so let me know if you’d like to be on that! 

anyway, enjoy, and as always, feedback is greatly appreciated! big thank you to those who have given me feedback so far :)

you woke up with a slightly pounding head. sunlight was poking through the curtains that were haphazardly pulled across the window. when the light met your barely-open eyes, you groaned in protest and fumbled for your phone to see what time it was.

right when you saw that it was noon, a knock sounded at your door. “____? you awake?” came tom’s muffled voice. the sound of his voice brought memories of the previous night rushing to the forefront of your brain: meeting henry, tom walking you home, and most embarrassingly, your drunken confession. “____, if you don’t answer the door i’m gonna think you’re dead and steal all your stuff.” you smiled at that despite the hollow ache in your chest—everything was about to be different between the two of you, and you weren’t ready to lose him completely. you figured that your relationship with tom would now be awkward and strained, and soon enough you two would grow part. it was almost too much to bear.

he knocked again. “alright, alright, i’m getting up,” you called back to him as you slowly shifted out of bed. standing up made your headache substantially worse, and it took all your effort to answer the door instead of just climbing back into bed.

when you finally opened the door, tom grinned before immediately looking concerned. “wow, no offense, but you look like shit.”

“thanks, tom, really appreciate that,” you whispered with your eyes closed in an effort to block out the fluorescent hall lights. “anyway, what did you wake me up for?”

he shuffled awkwardly. “uh, well first i just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“awful. next question.”

“and second…how much of last night do you remember? you were pretty drunk.”

you stilled. maybe this was your chance to pretend last night had never happened. but then again…lying to tom wouldn’t be much better—but at least you’d still have him. “not much, to be honest,” you finally said. “i remember getting to the party and meeting…henry, i think his name was? then i remember having a few shots, and from there my memory gets kind of fuzzy.”

tom’s shoulders drooped slightly. “oh. so you—you don’t remember me taking you home?”

why does he sound so sad? you shook your head, your heart already heavy with the lie. “no, sorry. but thank you for doing that.”

he nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “got it. well i…i’ll leave you to it, then.” he turned around to head back into his room. “hope you feel better,” he mumbled before his door clicked shut, leaving you to stand their confused and alone.

you moved back into your room and shut the door behind you. sleep sounded incredibly inviting, but it was already halfway through the day, and you had a few assignments that you needed to complete. after a quick shower, you brought your things into the floor lounge and began working. as you went through some of your assignments, you thought back to the conversation with tom—how he had immediately deflated once you lied and said you didn’t remember him taking you home. was tom that upset that you didn’t remember telling him how much you liked him? why? you reached a startling conclusion: perhaps tom did feel the same way about you. but that doesn’t matter much know, does it? you thought to yourself. he has a girlfriend.

about a half hour into your work, the door to the lounge slowly opened and tom poked his head in. “i thought you might be in here.” he said as he walked into the lounge all the way. his backpack was slung across his shoulder. “d’you mind if i sit with you?”

“of course not.” you replied. tom made his way over and plopped down in the seat across from you. immediately, you felt the guilt of your earlier lie resurfacing, making your chest draw tight. you were so caught up in the feeling that you almost didn’t notice the eye contact you were maintaining with tom—almost. he was looking at you, his chin resting on his hand, with a slightly pinched expression, like there was something he was dying to tell you but couldn’t quite figure out to say. it soon softened the longer you looked at each other, though, as if tom couldn’t bear to be upset with you for too long. a strange tension was beginning to build, not unlike the night he had asked you about your biggest fear and the two of you had almost kissed.

once again, the moment was broken by a buzzing phone—this time, however, it was yours. you quickly fumbled to check what it was. “sorry, it’s just henry.”

his once-soft expression hardened. “the guy from the party last night?” you nodded, and tom scoffed. “what does he want?”

“just asking to see how i’m feeling,” you answered distractedly as you typed out a response.

you: i’m doing fine, a bit of a headache but nothing major. you?

after a few moments he texted back.

henry: i’m fine. according to you i’m an alcoholic heavyweight, remember?

you laughed a little at that before setting your phone down and looking back at tom, who looked much more pissed off than he had been moments ago. “do you like him?” he bit out.

“wow, tom, so blunt,” you attempted to joke with him. once he didn’t laugh, you continued more seriously. “gosh, i don’t know, i just met him last night. i like to get to know people before i decide anything.” not that you had known tom for very long before becoming completely infatuated with him, but you’d never tell him that (while sober, at least). “he did seem like a really nice guy, though. really funny.”

“from what you remember.” he refused to make eye contact with you, instead looking over his textbook, which you could tell he wasn’t really reading.

“yes, tom, from what i remember.”

tom sighed and finally looked up at you again. “i’m sorry, it’s just that from an outside perspective he seems like a creep. but it is what it is.” tom returned to his textbook nonchalantly, trying to signal that the conversation was over.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” you furrowed your eyebrows and waited for an explanation. tom continued reading silently, making it clear that he wasn’t going to give you one. “fine, then. how’s emma?” you asked, a little harsher than intended. “did she like the fact that you left her at a party to walk another girl home?”

tom snapped his textbook shut. “that’s really none of your business, is it?”

“then neither is henry!”

“that’s different.”

“how is it different, tom? god, friends aren’t supposed to act like this.” you started angrily putting your things away.

“oh, and how are they supposed to act then? enlighten me.” you definitely didn’t like his condescending tone. this entire argument was making you reconsider your entire friendship with tom—maybe it wasn’t as strong as you had thought. and maybe your infatuation with him was just that: infatuation.

but then you remembered all the times you had talked, whispering to each other in class or joking about anything and everything but always being able to have serious conversations about your hopes and dreams. you thought about the smiles he would give you, some blinding and some soft or understanding, and you deflated, much less angry than before. “i don’t really want to argue with you, tom. sorry i even said anything.” you grabbed your now packed bag and headed back to your room, resolving to do your homework there instead.

the next day, you were standing in the middle of your room, backpack slung over your shoulder. your usual sunday studying with tom would’ve started in about 5 minutes, but a few things were keeping you from just heading over to the lounge: first, there wasn’t a quiz this week in your calculus class because of your midterm the previous week. then there was your argument with tom…you had apologized, but he hadn’t. you weren’t even sure if he wanted to speak to you at the moment; for some unidentifiable reason, he was both angry and upset with you.

your train of thought was broken by a knocking at your door. quickly placing your backpack on the floor, you moved to open the door and were surprised at the sight of tom. “hey, i, uh,” he held up a bag of your favorite candy and some popcorn, plus a pack of your favorite drink. “i thought maybe since there’s not a quiz this week, we could watch a movie instead?” tom then smiled apologetically. “i also wanted to…well, i’m sorry for being such an ass lately.”

“that’s an understatement.” you flatly responded despite the smile on your face. tom winced before noticing your happy expression and quickly gave a shy smile. “that sounds lovely, tom.” you opened the door wider to allow him to come in. “by the way, where did you even find that candy? they don’t have it in any of the vending machines on campus.”

tom hopped up on your bed and settled in as he answered. “i walked to the grocery store. that’s where i got the drinks, too.”

you stopped in your tracks. “the grocery store is almost a half hour walk from campus.”

“and?”

“you walked that far to get me candy?”

he shrugged and replied, “it’s your favorite,” as if that explained everything behind it.

you sat beside him on your bed after grabbing your laptop from your bag. “well…thank you. no one’s ever done something like that for me before.”

tom simply shrugged again, happily munching on the popcorn he had brought while he waited for you to pick out a movie. you finally settled on one of your favorites. as it began playing, you realized just how bright your room’s lights were, and you huffed in annoyance before pausing the movie. “hold on, i gotta turn the light off.”

you started to shimmy off of the bed, but tom beat you to it. “don’t move, i got it.” smiling, you settled back into the bed and waited for him to turn the lights off and rejoin you before starting the movie again. as the movie began, you wrapped yourself up in your comforter. tom looked at you with a pout. “am i not allowed in the blanket?”

“nope,” you responded, popping the “p” loudly. “this is what you get for being a jerk to me yesterday.” tom pouted even harder, and you giggled at his expression until he started trying to wrestle the blanket from your grip. “hey!”

tom quickly moved your laptop off the bed so it wouldn’t be accidently knocked off. “you’ve brought this on yourself,” was all he said before doubling his efforts to rip the blanket away. you were breathless with laughter, just barely being able to fight off his attack and keeping the blanket wrapped around you. tom was grinning, too, and you wished you could stay in this moment forever, with both of you laughing and simply happy to spend time together. “____, if you don’t let me in the blanket, im gonna tickle you.”

“how do you know that i’m ticklish?”

“you told me during the second week of school.”

“wow, so you’d betray what i told you in confidence just to get the blanket?”

tom smiled, a devilish glint in his eyes, and threateningly raised his hands. “yup.” he then began his assault, his fingers dancing up and down your sides. the blanket fell from your body, but tom did nothing to stop his assault to grab it.

your laughter continued as you tried (and failed) to swat his hands away from your torso. “tom!” you managed to shout in between laughs. “you—are so—evil!” finally, you grasped his wrists and held them away triumphantly—until he flicked his hands and was suddenly pinning your wrists above your head, pushing you into laying down.

he was hovering just above you when he whispered, “am i still evil, love?” you could tell he meant it to come across as a playful mockery, but because he had whispered, it came out soft and gentle.

you lightly shook your head in response, all thoughts of the blanket and movie forgotten. your gaze slowly roamed over tom’s face and drank in just how vulnerable he looked. his hair, which was normally styled, was draped across his forehead, a few of his loose curls sticking to his forehead with sweat. his cheeks were red, and his chest was slightly heaving from exertion—and possibly the position you were currently in. you met his gaze again, and your breath caught in your throat when you realized his expression seemed to be pleading with you, like he was offering his heart in his hands and was asking you to never break it. his eyes flickered to your lips for a brief moment, and before your mind could even remind you that tom had a girlfriend, he leaned down slowly until his lips just barely brushed yours, waiting for your permission. his nose was resting against yours, and you squeezed your eyes shut at how soft this entire moment was. you were about to move up to meet his lips and—

—there was a loud thump on your door. tom released your wrists and jerked backward so fast he almost whacked his head on the wall. “____!” zendaya called from the hallway. “could you open the door? my hands are kind of full.”

you cleared your throat. “yeah, just a sec!” you hurriedly hopped down from your bed and closed your laptop before opening the door.

zendaya grinned. “hey, roomie!” she happily walked into the room but faltered once she saw tom sitting disheveled on your bed. “and tom. hi.”

“hi. sorry, i’ll uh—i’ll just leave you both to it, then.” tom awkwardly coughed and quickly left your room, shutting the door behind him and leaving you to squirm awkwardly under zendaya’s gaze.

“what just happened?” she set her things down and looked at you pointedly.

“well…” you launched into an explanation about the whole situation—the party on friday, your confession, how you lied to tom about what you remembered, the fight you had with him, until finally finishing with the situation she had walked into and the almost-kiss. “oh god, z,” your voice began to break as your eyes starting tearing up. “he has a girlfriend, and we almost kissed.” you started to cry, then, and zendaya wrapped a comforting arm around your shoulders and guided you to your shared futon. “i’m a shitty person, aren’t i?”

she grimaced. “well…yeah, it would, but the fact that it didn’t actually happen and that you recognize that it was bad helps a lot. did you reciprocate it at all?”

you thought for a moment about what had happened before shaking your head. “no. i thought about it, but then you got here.”

“thinking is a lot different than doing, but still…you probably shouldn’t have considered it. tom shouldn’t have put you in that situation either, though.”

“yeah, that makes sense,” you sniffled. your stomach was now twisting up with guilt, both at the fact that you had almost kissed someone in a committed relationship and that you had lied to tom. “should i tell his girlfriend?”

“oh, god no.” you laughed a bit at her immediate answer. “that’s up to tom, i think. but it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea if you avoided them for a while.”

you nodded in agreement. “that would probably be best.” you both sat there for a while. zendaya slowly rubbed your arm in an attempt to comfort you as you tried your best to compose yourself. “you don’t really like tom, do you?”

she sighed. “i actually do like tom. i think he’s funny and kind, and we get along really well, but he’s still a little childish. he has a lot to learn, and i’m hoping he learned something today.”

“how are you so wise?” zendaya chuckled at that but offered no answer, instead standing up and stretching.

“c’mon, let’s go get some ice cream, and i’ll tell you about my totally boring weekend to take your mind off of it.” she offered you a hand to get up and you gratefully accepted, ready to put the entire mess behind you. all you could think about was tom and how confused you felt—did this mean that tom felt the same about you? would he break up with his girlfriend? but most of all you wondered that even if he did like you back, would it be worth it to be with someone that had almost cheated on their partner?

the next morning, you sat on your bed, contemplating what you were going to do about the calculus situation—you didn’t really want to see tom, but you also didn’t want to miss lecture. beyond that, you also weren’t sure if you wanted to go to class at all. you finally caved to that thought and decided it was high time for a mental health day; after all, you had just finished your midterms and did fine on all of them, so you figured you deserved it.

having finally arrived at a decision, you laid back down and closed your eyes to get a few more hours of sleep in. right before you drifted off, you resolved that at the next lecture, you would arrive at the last possible minute and take the next open seat—as long as it wasn’t next to tom. you did promise yourself, though, that you wouldn’t avoid him forever. just until you figured out how you felt about the whole situation: tom, your feelings for him, his (possible) feelings for you, and henry, whom you’d been texting on and off since the party.

but who knew how long all of that would take, anyway.

 is tom really a jerk or just stupid? how will henry fit into all this? why won’t the reader just tell tom she likes him (well, at least while sober this time)? let me know what you think! i would love feedback on anything--my writing style, the plot, what you predict will happen in the future of this story, anything!

a note on tom’s behavior: obviously, the tom we know is 23 years old and has a lot of experience in professional environments. this tom, however, is 18 and has little to none of the same experience. 

[hillybargrove]

New Years

Roger Taylor x Reader

Summary: rogers scared to crush on y/n because she’s deaky’s sister but we all know how well that’s gonna work out for him

Word Count: slightly over 2k :)

A/N: it’s january 16th which makes this less fun but i think it’s good and im really happy with how it turned out!! 

When you had first been introduced to the band, they we're already working on their fourth album. Your brother had done his best to avoid introducing you for almost five years, afraid of you taking a liking to one of his friends.

It was barely August when John gave you a call from their studio in Rockfield, asking you to come out and see him.

"Y/N?"

"John?"

"Haven't seen you in a while, how's mum?" You talked for a half hour catching up before he invited you to visit.

"Why, John? You need someone who actually knows how to do laundry?" He couldn't ever remember to separate the lights from the darks, frequently he also forgot the importance of detergent.

"Can't I just miss my baby sister?"

"Well, that almost never happens, John." You agreed, however, and packed a bag so you could stay for a night.

When you pulled in, you saw where they were staying, and how it was in fact a farmhouse. Chickens loitered the dirt road, perching on fences and cooing at some blond. You parked, saw John in your peripheral vision and threw open the car door as fast as you could to run to him.

"Hey!" You said, already airborne and jumping onto his back. There was a thud, your brother was unsuspecting and now on the ground covered in dust and probably a few bruises.

"I'm never calling you again."

"Don't be so dramatic."

The man with the chickens had laughed at the mercy of his friend, gaining your attention when you picked yourself up.

"Hi," You called out, brushing off your jeans. "Sorry about that, sibling rivalry and all."

"Fine by me," he waved you off. "John needs a bit of roughing up." Your brother made it off the dirt himself, shooting both you and the blond a look. From the right you heard footsteps approach the two of you.

"Roger, would you quit mucking around with the chickens and get in here, Freddie needs you for the operatics." Brian, as you'd remembered from pictures, had curly black hair and seemed to tower over everyone around.

"Brian and Roger meet my sister." They both gave small, awkward waves when he failed to give them your name.

"I'm Y/N, sorry. I guess he doesn't remember." You jerked your head at your brother and shot him a dirty look. "D'you forget my name or something?" His friends let out a chuckle and John now gave you a mean expression.

"Give me a minute, it's on the tip of my tongue." You dug your fingers into his sides, drawing out a painful laughter before he cried for you to stop.

"Well, it's nice to finally get the chance to meet you guys," You said, taking a step to shake their hands.

"Likewise," Brian smiled, "I'd love to stay and chat but I've got to get him in there before the bill for this album goes up any higher."

You didn't quite recognize Roger, at least not in a fur coat and a pair of dark sunglasses, but Brian immediately dragged him away from the farm animals and into the studio.

"Uh, John?" You looked at him with amusement, "you didn't tell me your band mates were hot."

"There's a reason for that."

"You've been cock-blocking me for years."

"Shut it."

•••

You had the pleasure of seeing Roger in the recording studio in the middle of his galileo's. It was incredibly tempting to laugh, but everybody else seemed annoyed he couldn't get as high as Freddie wanted.

He did his best not to look at you for too long, but there were more times than you could count that you two caught each other staring.

He also did his best at keeping away from you. Suddenly, he was always the first one up, he made the first pot of coffee in the morning and kept to himself. You hadn't known him before, but there was enough talk about it between the boys for you to know it wasn't normal.

One afternoon you offered to grab everyone lunch from a pub in town, Roger left his order on a postcard and spent the entire day holed up in his room, despite being needed in the studio.

More and more you came to stay with them, choosing the little farmhouse over college parties and pubs, and the boys loved having you around. You broke up the testosterone in the house and always made the bathroom smell like flowers. Your visits, however, revealed the pattern in Roger's strange mood swings.

Freddie noticed it at first, and pointed it out to John who then told Brian. Your brother made nothing of it, and left the two of them to talk to you about the situation.

"Y/N?" Brian turned down the music from the car radio, you two were on your way home from the grocery store.

You gave a muffled response, having had a few chips in your mouth.

"I don't mean to pry, and you don't have to answer, but–" He paused in the awkwardness, "did something happen? Between you and Roger?"

You nearly choked, "Oh my God, Brian," You sent him a look from the passenger seat, "No, definitely no." He didn't seem to like that answer, the wrinkles between his eyebrows told you so.

"Why? Did he say something?" A small rise of panic began in your throat, "Bri, I swear–"

"No! No, he didn't say anything. The boys and I have just taken a little notice of something is all." He let a few seconds pass before beginning again, "He just seems to be very quiet when your in town, stays in his room a lot, never sleeps in, and he doesn't really like to eat with us, you know?"

"Oh, okay. I mean, I don't know. I've only ever known him to be like that. Do you think something's wrong?"

"Well–"

"Wait, so you thought it was because of me?" He came to a red stoplight and turned to look at you.

"No, not at all. Well, okay maybe." His eyes grew bigger, "Not in a bad way! Of course not anything like that, he's just been so weird, and it's only when you're around. So we all kind of assumed–"

"–Cause we hooked up and it ended weird?"

"Not in so many words, but, yeah." The car lurched forward through the intersection. "But you said nothing happened."

"Nothing, yeah. Sorry, I wish I could be more help."

"S'alright, love. Just means now I've got to actually ask him what his problem is."

He told you he'd find out and let you know, but he'd make sure to ask after you went home, which was the next day.

You didn't go back for a while after that, not because of Roger, but because school was a bit more intense after midterms and your mom had started holiday baking in the middle of November.

A week before the month was over, John and the rest of them ended up stopping by on the way to a 'band event' is what they called it.

While you were coming out of the bathroom you heard voices, Freddie and Roger.

"What's your problem, Rog? We're in her bloody house and you can't even make eye contact with her, it's weird."

"Fred, Brian already pestered me about this weeks ago–"

"And he was given a vague answer, you're being rude, it's ridiculous. What's wrong with you?" Dishes clinked around in the sink, your mother walked past you into the kitchen with the leftover peas on a platter and walked back out.

"She's John's sister, okay? That's the issue." Freddie blinked.

"And?"

"She's his sister. I mean, that's off limits, it's gotta be."

"Oh." Freddie paused from washing the dishes, "Well now it all makes sense. So you like her, then?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that's sweet, Rog, but it's not an excuse to be a dick."

Roger shook his head and started wrapping the chicken up with tin foil, "Trust me, I know."

You decided it was best not to go into the kitchen at that moment, instead returning to the table with noticeably red cheeks. To make matters worse, John tapped your shoulder and let you know they were staying the night.

"Are there even enough beds?" He shook his head no. "Then where are they all sleeping?"

Turns out you were sleeping on the couch, despite your complaints. John was in his room with Brian, which left your bed for Roger and Freddie.

•••

It was now almost half past one in the morning, everyone had been asleep for a while. The wine was catching up with you a second time, and you woke up in the middle of the night having to pee.

Groggily, you made your way inside and shut the door. A few minutes later, Roger felt the same pressure on his stomach and slid out from under Freddie's arm draped across him.

A yellow glare fell on the floor outside the bathroom, Roger, slightly drunk and very sleepy, assumed someone left the light on.

"Shit, sorry." The image of a girl in the bathroom made him jump, "I didn't realize anyone else was up."

"S'okay, I'm just washing my hands." You dried them and stepped out, "the door doesn't have a lock."

"I see." He rubbed his eyes and avoided making eye contact with you out of embarrassment, he suddenly felt self-conscious about being shirtless.

"Y'might want to think about knocking next time, though." You diverted your gaze downward, but your eyes lingered on his bare torso.

"Yeah, I'll make a note of that." He blushed and stepped aside for you to get past. He was almost grateful you were only just washing your hands, seeing you half naked in this situation would've been mortifying.

"Night, Roger." You disappeared from his vision around the corner to the living room.

"Night," He said, standing there for a moment before going inside the bathroom.

•••

It wasn't meant to be a big thing, just a few guys in a pub with family and friends to celebrate the new year. Freddie, however, turned his nose up at that idea and threw a party of his own.

Earlier throughout the night, you were given various drinks, mostly champagne. John did his best to keep you from taking too much, lucky for you.

"Just keeping an eye out for my baby sister," He would say, before you stuck your tongue out in protest.

The entire time knowing him, Roger had been skittish around you, for reasons you now knew. Tonight, however, he was different.

Drink after drink on his part, he warmed up to you. Brian even took notice and gave u a thumbs up when he saw the two of you talking. It wasn't about much, and it was kind of awkward, but watching his baby blue eyes glaze over underneath the yellow light of the chandelier made you feel something.

Even later in the evening, he tried to flirt. You then caught Freddie giving Roger a thumbs up like Brian had done to you.

It was charming, watching him across the room throw his head back to laugh, and he always watched you back.

Then midnight came, and with everyone gathered outside on the second story patio, he tapped your shoulder a minute before twelve.

"Roger?"

"I've got something to say to you." He was meant to continue, but your interest in other matters made him clam up.

"Where's your date?"

"Didn't bring one," He stated plainly.

"What about that brunette I saw following you around inside?" You crossed your arms over your chest and smiled.

"M'not terribly interested, I've got this thing for someone else." He said it with a lopsided smile, and you suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him.

"You've got about ten seconds to find someone, then."

"But I've already found you." It was almost innocent when the words tumbled out of his mouth, like a school boy with a crush.

"You know," You paused, the clock was ticking, "we've barely spoken, and I've only known you for a few months."

"My deepest apologies, love." His fingers found themselves in the loops of your jeans, and you watched those baby blue eyes until you could see the whites tinged red and all of a sudden people were celebrating.

Your lips were on his for a few seconds and it was soft and sweet. Then, his hands found their way around you, and it almost felt like the fireworks were for the two of you instead of New Year's Day.

[jetfuel-cantmeltsteelbeams]

I’ve got a thing for (a)U.

Chapter 01: Day 01/07

Scene: On the first day of their freedom from parental control, Rue comes down after a week of hell doing Blyze’s grunt work.  Characters: Rue Demmekke, Renegade Demmekke, Daniel Nightengale, Caydin Blythe

"I ain't ever gonna dance again; these guilty feet have got not rhythm..." Rue rolled his eyes the music assaulted him the second he pushed open the front door. He'd spent the past week in his father's office- literally, his cot had been set up on the floor behind a desk- as per the agreement his parents had come to. It seemed like these days he'd only had one single say in any of this; and since he'd confirmed that he wanted to become the next Dark Leader, everything else had been taken out of his hands.

Every other weekend he spent at the angel compound. Week nights, if it wasn't Midterms or Finals, and every holiday. It was like soccer camp- but with more plays and matches. And way, way more carnage. Even his classes had been changed; Karsyn had booked him for more Otherworld History courses than he could keep up with, and he didn't want to think about the fit she'd throw when she finally saw the grade of his Trig III final.

But with the Academy shutting down for two months of summer, he'd thought he might catch a break. But while his brothers were whisked off on family vacations and trips to expansive realms, he'd been handed a cot and the latest statistics of the recon missions spanning six months back. He'd probably spent half the week buried in his history books, comparing war strategies from this ruler to the next.

All so Blyze could walk in, scan the report that had taken him three days to type up and format, toss it to the desk and wave him out.

He was still simmering when he'd picked up Ren a few hours later, honking the horn of his Wrangler until Charlotte came out with garden shears to cut his breaks if he didn't stop.

And the redhead had come galloping out of the front door, pecking his mother with a kiss on the cheek before barreling into the Jeep so hard, Rue was sure they'd topple over.

"Remind the strung out cunt to take her meds."

Renegade stuck his entire head out of the passenger window as Rue began to pull out of the drive. "Your vitamins are in the fridge beside the OJ- Love you!"

"Why do you call them vitamins?" Rue murmured as his half-brother returned his entire body mass inside the vehicle.

With a grin, Ren tugged at the seat-belt. "Because the last time Dad called them her cure for the Benzo Blues, she threatened to send us all straight to the Hell Realms, flaming asses first."

The young leader rolled his eyes as he took the long, waving road away from his half-brother's large estate. "Have you talked to her about Sythe?" The other day, while Rue was locked up in their father's study, Renegade had come in to supposedly help the silverette. Instead, they'd found classified documents locked safely in Blyze's desk drawer with an entire dossier on Charlotte.

Under confirmed paternal link was Sythe's name.

"Nah, she's been locked up in her bedroom all weekend." Fishing in his duffle, Renegade withdrew his aux cord and began hooking it up to Rue's stereo. "Is Ray gonna be at the house?"

Struggling to suppress his instinct to stomp his brother's dreams, Rue just replied. "We're all restricted to the grounds; Maman set the security bounds before she left this morning." She'd known whenever they checked in to the estate, and when they left- the nosy ass. "And you know we've all been told to keep you two separated. You're supposed to sleep in my room every night."

But Renegade smiled at his phone as he scrolled through his music to find a song to play. "That would be the good, Catholic thing to do, I guess."

At the long gaze Rue shot his brother, the redhead actually had the audacity to look appalled. "Oh, don't you dare get high and righteous with me. Caydin? Really? Dude, you live together. You're practically brothers."

And just like that, the silverette turned back to the road. "Don't say that. We're not brothers."

A snort as Renegade turned back to his phone. "What would you call it then?"

Santaria began to play on the Wrangler, and despite himself the angel's heart began to speed up. "Roommates."

-

...-All I really want to know, I already know. And all I really want to say, I can't define. It's love that I need...-

Daniel lowered the red solo cup so Rue could read his lips; "Eight grand says they fuck before we even make it to bed."

The angel rolled his eyes away to the sight of his brother on the couch. No matter where Raychl Cross seamed to stray around the room, Renegade's gaze followed the curve of her ass. It'd been about two hours since the toddlers were put down, and even with the two sleeping demigods in the next room, his brother just couldn't seem to keep it in his pants.

"Thirty bucks. He'll sneak in her room first night. The rest... he won't even bother pretending he's not taking that bedroom for the rest of the week."

The snickering from his best friend was enough to draw out a sickened grin from the angel. It was horrible, really. Them betting on Renegade's self-control.

But it wasn't like they all weren't painfully aware of the elephant in the room. Renegade and Raychl had been raised together; there were pictures framed in the hall of the two of them in a bath as two year olds. The fact that they weren't technically related meant nothing; the two families had lived as one for too many years for the two to find each other attractive.

...-My soul will have to wait, 'til I get back and find Heina of my own. Daddy's gonna love one and all. I feel the break, feel the break, feel the break. And I got to live it out, oh yeah...-

From the corner of his eyes, Rue felt more than saw Caydin come into view. With his hair held back by one of Karsyn's headbands and her apron tied around his front, the blond was bustling away in the kitchen to make brownies of the green type.

For the past month or so, the feeling Rue felt for the other had begun to worry him. The strain of his instinct to grab him, bury himself in him, hold him so tight he left bruises on that pale, alabaster skin... The fantasies that came to mind were enough to turn even his stomach.

An itching in his canines made him shift in place. And damn him, Daniel noticed. "Looks like I'll be the only one in this gods damned house sleeping alone tonight. Fuck. Me."

As his friend chugged the last of his drink, Rue couldn't help but agree.

-

Laying in his bed was the hardest thing he'd ever done. Agreeing to sign his life away to end a war his father had begun? Nothing. Waiting to see if Caydin made the first move by joining him in his bedroom? He was lucky the bed wasn't shaking half as hard as he was.

The door to his room opened, but it was Daniel's dark features looking in to find him. "Is Ren in here with you?"

"No. Why?"

"Raychl's door is locked."

"How do you know Raychl's door is locked?"

"Because I tried to open it."

"Why did you try to open it?"

"To see if Ren is in there."

"Are you trying to see my brother's ass?"

"No, but if our dads find out-" The demigod paused, turning to glance back behind him into the dark hall. "Caydin? What are you doing?" The blond must have mumbled his answer, because even from the bed Rue could spot the change in Daniel's demeanor. "I'm so tired of being the only one in this gods-damned household not getting any ass!"

-

Chapter 02: Day 04/07

Scene: Rue is contacted by Blyze to go to the estate to receive a mission that’s returned early, which carries with it an added guest.  Characters: Rue Demmekke, Caydin Blythe, Sargent Jasyn Rogue, Drig’uhl Dav Iyra

Rue set his phone down in the center console of his Wrangler, a scowl set hard in his face. Beside him, the petite blond didn't comment on how fast he was taking the dirt road, or the jostling it gave the two angels.

He kept telling himself he'd brought Caydin along because he needed the company. That the blond could entertain him on the long car ride between home and the compound. While his instincts screamed to keep him close enough to touch, to see or smell, he held firm on the desire to control himself.

"What's so important that he sent you to receive a mission?"

Over the last few weeks, Caydin had grown more and more interested in the role Rue had agreed to inherit. Venting to him had been so easy, and the angel had been curious enough to ask questions for better understanding.

"Adler's mission should have taken another week at the least. He's back ahead of schedule."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Unease brewed in his gut. "Could be. Either he was one lucky bastard and completed his mission early, or everything went to shit and he had to run back."

-

As soon as he came through the double doors of the compound, the council surrounded him. Among the many war generals and foot commanders, Sargent Rogue appeared on his right to fill him in. Behind them, Caydin walked in Rue's wake as the crowd hurried up the main stairs. "Commander Adler returned at 14:57 on the West pad with all of the original party that accompanied him." Papers were shoved into Rue's grip as the Major took over. "-And some additional party members."

That wasn't particularly abnormal. It wasn't unusual for their teams to go in with a set goal, and while conducting the mission were able to bring slaves back to the compound. He'd done it himself a few times- whenever he could chance getting to them.

But the summary of his report wasn't adding up. Slaves only had one surname with no definitive family mark, so why were there multiple...

As they came up on the door to the briefing room, Rue lowered the papers to glance over the faces of his council. Behind him, Caydin listened. "Hold on." He scanned through the papers one more time, a frown contorting his features. "Does that mean Adler..."

"Was successful."

Rue's throat bobbed as he swallowed hard against his sudden dry throat. "How many?"

"Five, Sir."

"Five." From where he stood, Caydin could see the blood leave Rue's face as he watched the Major beam with pride. Confusion brought the blond's own brows down as he tried to make sense of what he was hearing. They'd managed to bring back five slaves? That was good news- so why did Rue look like someone had taken the floor out from under him? What was on that paper?

To the left, a Lieutenant stepped up. "If you would rather we wait until the Dark Leader returns..."

Rue’s face twitched with the desire to fire back at the obvious disrespect, but his eyes were locked on the door to the council chambers. "I'll handle this, Rickman," he mumbled before turning the knob and stepping in. 

But once Caydin could see what was waiting on the far wall, he had no idea how the silverette could force himself to take another step. 

"Dark Leader," Commander Adler mumbled, bowing his head in respect to the young silverette. Rue's eyes never strayed from her face as he walked to address the commander, nodding his greeting. And from the door, as the other members of the council filled in around him, neither did Caydin’s. "The eldest female of the Royal bloodline; Drig'uhl Dav Iyra of the Dirgulian household."

She'd been forced to kneel on the concrete floors; the dress skirts of her gown torn and muddied by the harsh Drigulian tar. Caydin could barely see the white blonde of her hair beneath the black paste, or her pale skin beneath the dirt. Her eyes were shut tight beneath a dirty veil of hair, but he could see her lips moving silently as she prayed.

20. She couldn't be older.

I'm young and I'm foolish, I've made bad decisions. I block out the news, turn my back on religion. Don't have no degree, I'm somewhat naive, but I've made it this far on my own.

Maybe to save Rue the embarrassment of asking himself, Sargent Rogue spoke aloud. "What do we do with her?"

The dark leader's gaze never lifted from her face as a general in the crowd answered. "Blyze would throw her to the soldiers. Give them her royal ass as compensation for the slaves she's sent to death." 

But lately, that shit ain't been gettin' me higher. I lift up my head and the world is on fire- there's dread in my heart and fear in my bones, and I just don't know what to say.

At the man's crude words, the princess's eyes closed even tighter as her body began to rock back and forth. She seemed to throw herself into desperate prayer, her mouth moving too fast for Caydin to make out what she whispered. He managed to catch one word that fell from her lips again and again; “Doukr.” Mercy.  

Maybe I'll pray, pray. Maybe I'll pray

"How would you like that, bitch? Your father raped my sisters before throwing them to the guards-"

Just as the Sargent lifted his leg to kick the princess, Rue moved. His hand snatched up the chains binding her wrists together to give a tug. The boot barely grazed her back as she stumbled to keep her balance. "Then we'll wait for Blyze to come back from vacation to decide. Until then-" Turning to meet Sargent Rogue's pale features with his own, he handed off the chain. "There's holding cells on ground floor B for this. Put a dozen rotating guard on her at all times, and keep them segregated from gen pop. I don't need a mutiny during my first week in command."

I'm not a saint, I'm more of a sinner. I don't wanna lose, but I fear for the winners.

"Yes, Sir." A glint of relief burned in Rogue's gaze as he hurried to lead the princess out of the room.

Caydin stood there, frozen to the ground as she came closer and closer. His eyes couldn't move from where she'd been kneeling- a princess. Drigulia was a patriarchy; she had no say in their laws.

But when her eyes opened to see the doorway coming closer, she began to fight the restraints. Rogue gave a sharp pull to jerk her through, but her hands found the wooden frame and refused to let it go.

Her eyes found Rue's from across the room, and then the most beautiful accent followed on foreign words she screamed at the silverette. Caydin's frown deepened as she spoke. Why do I feel like I know what she's saying?

"Vroat- dr kl'rbuor!"

The blond's gaze found the dark leader as Rue wet his lips. His answer was short, clipped."Vlouo auo raiu kl'rbuor?"

"Rai kaax klod."

If possible, Rue's face got paler. He nodded once to Rogue and the princess was tugged from the room, screaming in that strange language the entire way down the hall.

The room was quiet then, after her screams faded out. The tension Caydin could feel twisted his gut- there had been too much disrespect in the past few minutes for Rue to let it go without recourse.

"First Sargent Rickman, you can go."

For a second, Caydin couldn't understand why the offending officer's face flushed with rage at the dismissal. It wasn't until the man had hurried out the door that he realized Rue had just demoted the Lieutenant with nothing more than six words.

"Now, gentlemen; excuse me while I make a call." Without waiting for any confirmation that they'd heard him, Rue snagged Caydin's arm as he led them out. Before he knew it, Rue had released him once they'd traveled far enough away to find a deserted office.

One with a trash can. Rue's entire body jerked as he heaved into the bucket without waiting for Caydin to rush the door closed behind them.

-

Chapter 03: Day 06/07

Scene: On the back porch on the estate, smoking Karsyn’s weed. Characters: Rue Demmekke, Daniel White

Rue plopped down on the amber lawn chair, sinking deep into it's cushion as he propped his feet up. Without looking away from the flatscreen streaming a vine compilation from Daniel's phone, he set his hand out to the side for the raven to pass a joint over.

Beside his chair, Daniel was in his own little world. Two dozen blunts bursting with their mother's stash sat perfectly aligned in a tray, with a pipe and multiple lighters. He'd come out here hours ago, when the others began settling the toddlers into bed. Not because he didn't want to put his sisters to sleep, but because the demigod switched off with Karsyn with caring for the girls when Night was away on business.

"...-I said, 'whoever threw that paper; your mom's a hoe.'"

As Rue drew a deep pull to hold, Daniel chuckled beside him. When the silverette turned to raise a brow, the raven shook his head. "Dude, you're so fucked."

Grey eyes rolled as Rue slowly exhaled. "Not compared to the heathens upstairs. I've barely seen Ren eat or piss over the last few days. There are times I forget that they’re actually here with us in the same damn house."

Daniel's head shook as he lit a second blunt. "They'll be fine. Uncle Nate's too guilty over those years Ray spent in Bristol, and Ren is Blyze's favorite son."

"So you think they wont care? There's a picture in the hall of both of them in the bath together as babies."

Daniel shrugged over Rue's cough, letting the smoke leave his lungs on a slow push. "They'll be pissed, but it'll blow over. Six figures says they'll be hitched by this time next year."

"No dice," the angel choked out. His fist came down hard on his chest a few times as he eyed the joint with suspicion. "What the fuck is Maman smoking? This shit is deadly."

"No idea," Daniel mumbled, struggling to keep his chest tight to keep from coughing. "But I want her dealer."

For a while, they both lay in silence as the television flickered. "...-Is there anything better than pussy? Yes; a really good book."

"What are you gonna do? I mean, are you ready for the..."

"Calenhai." It took him a moment of mulling the question over in his mind before he could answer. "No. No one will tell me anything about it. For all I know, it's a ceremony that they cut each other's dicks off with a rusty spoon."

Daniel's snort sent them both into hysterics as the image appeared in their minds. "Maybe," the raven heaved through a gasp, "They paint their cocks grey and sword fight."

Another round of muffled screams as the brothers lost their minds in hysteria. "What if it's a carwash? Just a fucking carwash."

"Blyze in a bikini-"

"-Scrubbing the windshield with his ass!"

"Dark Leader Booty, reporting for duty."

-

Chapter 04: Day 09/07

Scene: Inside Night’s personal office on the estate, discussing the angel’s war.  Characters: Danicious (Daniel) Nightengale, Dyatose (Night) Nightengale

Night shook his head, eyes glazed as he stared into the woodwork of his desk from where he stood clutching the edges. "We don't intervene, Dani. It's crucial you understand that." Even as the words left him, Night's chest caved with emotions. Anxiety, fear, desperation- things no father wants his son to see.

Well, my goodness gracious- let me tell you the news. My head's been wet with the midnight dew.

From across the room, Daniel's face flushed with rage. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop the tremble that had taken his balled fists- something he knew Night had noticed. "You can't tell me that you're just going to sit by."

-I've been down on bended knee, talkin' to the man from Galilee.-

"It's not right to take sides. We must remain impartial in these issues."

"Da', he's my brother. He's your son."

-He spoke to me in a voice so sweet, I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel's feet.-

"It's not just Rue. He's leading thousands of souls into an event we cannot influence."

"What if it was me?"

"Daniel."

"-What if it was me, Da'? Would you turn your back and let me die? He already had one father who did that to him, he doesn't deserve another!"

"It wouldn't be you, Danicious."

-He called my name and my heart stood still, when he said "John, go do My will!"

Night's words tightened as he struggled to soften his tone through gritted teeth. "Any war you wage will be a battle of Gods, not natural souls. Gods, who have a fighter's chance against your powers. Not mortal-born beings who will fall before you as lambs to slaughter if you fight by your brother's side. Thousands of pure lives that will be tainted by our influence- do you understand that? We cannot influence the lifelines of men outside our means, or the Balance will shift."

You can run on for a long time,

Silence. "Does he know you're not going to fight with him?"

"Rue and I have spoken many times on the subject. That neither of us will be able to intervene if-"

"-Fuck you."

"Excuse me?"

Run on for a long time,

"Fuck you. If you think that you can stop me from defending him-"

Run on for a long time.

He didn't have a chance to finish. Night's guards pushed so fast, so hard against Daniel's that the raven felt his chest cave. There was something in his father's eyes, something deadly, that promised he wouldn't be moved on the subject.

"Remember who you are born from, Danicious, and what power brought you here." The pressure lifted just as soon as it came, giving the young god a chance to breathe.

But sooner or later, God'll cut you down. Sooner or later, God'll cut you down.

[cosmosogler]

hi guys! i got home after 9. so i am six minutes late starting this post. 10:06 i mean.

anyway god dang it! i forgot my dream again. i think i was thinking about math and statistics though. numbers are super hard in dreams though because all the information changes and melts between instants.

i got up at a reasonable time- 7:40. still got out of the shower super late though. i’m not even sure what takes so long! maybe it’s because i brush my teeth and blow dry my hair and everything in that span of time so it’s not just “hopped in the shower at 7:50 and oH GOD IT’S 8:15.”

i tried to have a bigger breakfast than usual- i had a bagel and some bacon i put in the microwave. and a big glass of orange juice. i watched snoopy roll around in a patch of sunlight while i ate. 

then i biked to campus a little late. i was super thankful that the light on the busy road happened to turn green right as i approached. if you miss it it’s a 2-minute wait for the next cycle.

i used my lecture notes today when i started the lab period!!! people started working on their labs while i was talking though and i got a little discouraged. i’ll need to ask for feedback over email i think. maybe it’s still good to lecture so that the people who already know what’s going on can get started while the people who are still a little confused have some basis to start from.

some questions really get me turned around though. i feel kinda stupid when i have to check my notes on the lab to answer a question like “but are the forces REALLY always equal and opposite?” because i think i know an exception but really no i don’t. and then i have to explain why there are no exceptions and i try to draw on some experiences as an undergrad ta but i only remember half-sentences and bits of anecdotes and i have to try to string them together into a coherent explanation that is catered toward intro physics courses.

i’m always exhausted afterward. i really give it everything even though i’m not the best ta.

i got scolded by my supervisor for getting suzanne to help me fix one of the computers when i couldn’t find him. what had happened was, i saw him talking to suzanne out the door earlier since the lab is across from the office. when i needed to find him i checked his office first, didn’t find him, and asked suzanne if she knew where he went. when she said the other side of the building she also offered to take a look because she’d been having a couple computer problems too on monday. 

but a few problems i did fix myself fairly quickly. i don’t mind troubleshooting, but sometimes i have to stand there and process information and i get quiet and kind of stare into space and don’t move and then i feel dumb because i’m not actually thinking using any words. 

maybe those are less “processing” thoughts and more “racing circular” thoughts.

ehhh afterward i went to my lab office hour. one of my students with the computer issues was in there trying to finish. he didn’t though. 

during my office session i received an email from the grad advisor. he said every single first year grad student needed to be at a meeting right now. it was the end of my session anyway so i packed up and went over to the office to see if anyone else had caught the email. 

they were actually all discussing it with an older graduate student. jennica was scrolling through every email she’s received on the student account to try and find any previous information about the meeting. there was none. 

we talked about it for a few minutes before the older grad student went up to talk to him. jennica and harrison and i went to get some lunch and i picked a smoothie up for rebika.

actually that was funny. i asked her what kind she wanted and she said “i don’t know” so i said there were like a hundred and i would have to pick one at random so she better be okay with kale. she said whatever so jennica found an online random number generator.

anyway while we were out we got another email from the grad coordinator. this one was really passive aggressive and sent to the whole department about how no one showed up and the lady making the presentation had “come all the way across campus.”

i said “???” because this was well after the situation had been explained to him. i’m not sure why he was so mean about it when it was his mistake. we had literally never heard about this before and he told us to be there one minute before it started.

eventually suzanne found a reminder for it on her phone. we had to hack it to find out when she had actually set that reminder to give us an idea of where we might have heard about it. 

it was during our “graduate welcome” presentation back in the middle of august. it wasn’t written down anywhere. it had just been mentioned in passing and suzanne made a note of it in her phone because it sounded interesting. not because we knew it was required.

my classmates complained that we’d never gotten any reminders for it but i was more annoyed that we hadn’t received any written notification of the event in the first place.

after that we studied a lot. i talked about some problems, fudged some math on the blackboard, and scribbled some stuff down on the homework problems i’d printed.

harrison has started telling me to “stop talking” whenever i say something depressing. jennica picked up on it pretty fast too. 

during coffee/cookie time at 3:30 ish i was chatting with one of the upper classmen aboutttt star trek i think it was. i’ve never watched it but i know... enough to talk about it i guess. i ended up having a fun discussion with taylor about the boundary between sci fi and fantasy when he said star wars was the superior sci fi story.

i said it was based on how heavily it leaned thematically on hard science and logic to inform its worldbuilding. taylor said it depended on the setting.

anyway i was talking to the guy and i was maybe talking about how i’d burned myself on my tea and also spilled some on my shirt because i’d burned my face and flinched violently. i said “thank you for listening to my problems” and jennica was all “don’t get her started, oh god, unless you want to be depressed.” 

i laughed and said “hey did i ever tell you about the time i broke my ribs?” and that got, i guess, a surprised laugh out of him. jennica gave me a Look. “just kidding, my ribs were too soft to break then,” i said apologetically-but-not-really.

i really relate to that short homestuck comic about dave talking about how his bro would leave him in the ball pit when they went to the store. except the ball pit was a slab of concrete in a dark room.

ok! i said my last prayers for the physics midterm and then at about 5:30 jennica and i played five rounds of love letters, adventure time edition. we were going to 3 wins and it stayed pretty close. i admitted that it’s a lot more active with three players and four gets to be a little too much. she seemed to like it well enough at least.

then at 6:05-ish i dumped all my trail mix in my mouth and turbo biked over to the drc to take my Accommodated Test in their Testing Facility. i almost got hit by a car while i was in the crosswalk. i was crossing at the same time as another bike, but as soon as he was past and i was approaching the end of the road, a driver slammed on the gas and i had to actually for real hard brake. i stared at her as she passed, she made eye contact with me. i don’t know why she did that if she saw me.

guess i’ll just go screw myself.

anyway i got there about fifteen minutes before the test was gonna start. there was trouble with the check-in devices so i was glad i got there early. i had time to get settled and put my stuff away and brush my hair a little bit to get the helmet tangles out.

then i took the test for two and a half hours! i was allotted three, and my classmates had two, so i think i made good use of the extra time and didn’t panic too hard.

i’d felt super sleepy and lethargic all day. the test wasn’t much better. but... i recognized all the problems at least. and i knew how to start all of them. and i had enough time to finish to my satisfaction.

i’m not gonna say i did well on the test. but i did way better than if i hadn’t studied. which is kind of a given, but. i think i tried more study strategies this time and asked for more help and maybe that made a difference. can’t say. i had no particular feeling about it when i looked over my work. i noted where i knew what i was doing and where i’d forgotten something, and where i’d probably made a mistake but had no idea what to do instead, and i really have no idea how i did.

i think biking home right after that though did a lot toward helping me not die of lack of energy. i had to bike up the big hill because of where i was leaving campus. that was ok though, i got up in no time at all! in third gear, even!!!

then i got home, and took out the trash, and devoured an ice cream sandwich, and then made some dinner. and then i sat down at my desk for 20 minutes, did a little e&m homework, sent some emails, and started writing, and then here i am. 

five minutes left. i will try to talk about something good about me. 

i uh... i was gonna talk about something ta-related but i can’t think of anything right now that i actually like about my method haha.

i’ve made a lot of progress this last week toward finding a study strategy that works for me. i know i have to use more than one of the study style fields to really learn material. two is good, three is better, four is overwhelming. i know that i am learning material on the backburner even if i don’t consciously feel like i understand anything because i look at some problems and i’m like “oh! i know what that is!” 

still having trouble remembering relationships between equations. but i think that will get better the more time i spend looking stuff up over and over. like i really Get the yukawa potential and how that one equation basically provides a link between classical mechanics and e&m, and that’s so cool.

tomorrow i’ve got group therapy and it’s SPAGHETTI DAY. AGAIN!!!!!! but i also gotta start studying for that e&m test on friday. i need to figure out how to do that. maybe i will find and talk to adamya since he was helping suzanne the other day. 

ok. it is 10:45. i will stop writing now and meditate for a few minutes and then go to bed. i need to get up a few minutes early to pick up a package. i think it is either the rest of my stuff i’ve been trying to get my parents to send for the last month, or it’s the cat food that i’m glad i ordered when i did and not a day later.

later guys, i hope you are well. drink more water.

[minsazucar-archive]

Your Number rated pg for uh...cussing i guess lol word count: 3,553 ship: yoonjin desc: You know that cliche scene in dramas, where you write your name on a coffee cup for your crush? Yeah, that doesn't really work in real life. Or does it?

AO3 link

The campus coffee shop was swarming with ragged looking students, caught up in the hell of midterms week. The coffee shop employees had the pleasure of suffering through midterms and working hectic shifts all week. After working at the cafe for almost two years, Seokjin was hardly fazed by the hustle and bustle; the same couldn’t be said for Taehyung who was suffering his first midterm rush.

The poor boy was the only barista on duty for at least ten more minutes until Jungkook clocked in and could take over the register. Seokjin would’ve been better as a barista, but Taehyung didn’t do well at the register under pressure, so here he stood, all smiles and chipper greetings to the endless mob of zombie students.

The mid-morning rush was just beginning to die down when he finally walked in. Seokjin immediately lit up as he watched Jimin walk through the entrance, looking excessively adorable in his sweats and hoodie. For the past few weeks Jimin had become their most frequent customer, partly because his best friend Taehyung started working here. Seokjin also liked to think their light flirting had something to do with it.

“Good morning Jimin, what can I get you today?” He greeted the boy with a smile.

“Morning Jin. I think today an americano will be fine.” Jimin replied somewhat sleepily, but that just made his smile even cuter.

“Stronger than usual. What’s the occasion?” Seokjin asked casually, picking up a cup and writing his name and order before sliding it over to Taehyung’s growing queue of drinks.

“I was up all night cramming for an exam.” Jimin whined a bit, slumping on the counter.

“That’s not the greatest study strategy.” Seokjin laughed, slightly disappointed when another person stepped in line, Jimin straightening up to leave.

“Teach me a better one sometime.” Jimin called over his shoulder with a wink as he walked away and Seokjin smiled.

He took the next order and startled a bit when Jungkook came up behind him. He checked the clock and noted the boy was 5 minutes late but he let it slide when he offered to take over the register. Seokjin let him handle the growing line and went to finally assist Taehyung who was eight drinks behind and starting to break a sweat.

It hardly felt like they were making a dent in the stack, Jungkook adding more drinks as fast as they could brew them. Seokjin grabbed the next two cups, both americanos, and smiled a bit. Making a split decision, he whipped out a pen and scribbled his phone number on Jimin’s order before placing both cups under the espresso drips.

He went about making a complicated frappucino (really, were such specific flavor ratios so important?) but he still noticed when Taehyung capped the finished americanos and took them out to the counter. The younger boy shot Seokjin a smile when he noticed the additional writing and Seokjin just rolled his eyes, back to blending.

“Two americanos, Jimin and Yoongi.” Taehyung called out, walking back to Seokjin’s side.

What happened next felt like something out of a movie, both boys watching the events unfold in almost slow motion. Jimin strolled up to the counter leisurely, ready to pick out his drink, when another person walked up and just snatched the first drink he saw, walking out rather abruptly. Jimin blinked a few times (the guy had literally shoved passed him) before reaching for the remaining drink with a frown. He looked up and caught Seokjin watching with his mouth slightly agape and smiled sweetly.

“This one says ‘Yoongi’ but they’re both americanos, right?” Jimin asked, still smiling.

“Y-yeah. Both americanos.” Seokjin nodded, trying his best to smile back.

“No big deal then. See you guys later.” Jimin replied, picking up the drink and walking out with a friendly wave.

Seokjin looked back around to where Taehyung was staring at him in a similar state of shock. It was Jungkook’s laughter that snapped them out of it, obnoxious and loud as he abandoned the register to finish up drinks. The line had finally dispersed as 10 a.m. classes were drawing close so the trio scrambled to finish the orders to get the students to class on time. In the lull following the rush, Seokjin excused himself to the back room and proceeded to scream into a dish towel for a few minutes.

✷✷✷

“Seokjin, I think you’re overreacting.” Jungkook commented in their dorm room later that night.

“Overreacting? I’m not overreacting, I’m perfectly calm.” He replied in a tight voice, continuing to bustle around the small living room.

Seokjin was not, in fact, perfectly calm. Taehyung and Jungkook sat lazily on his sofa, where they had watched him nervously pace and deep clean the dorm room for the past two hours. But everything was okay, perfectly fine, just real dandy. The two boys finally intervened when he started polishing the wood table so hard it began to creak. He plopped on the couch between his two friends and focused on breathing, Taehyung rubbing soothing circles into his back. After he calmed down a bit Jungkook cleared his throat to grab their attention.

“Listen, the guy isn’t gonna call you or anything. He would clearly see he got the wrong drink, maybe laugh, but that’s about it. It’s all good.” The younger boy reasoned and Seokjin felt himself deflate a bit.

“Yeah, yeah you’re right. Right?” Seokjin sighed, smile wary and in need of reassurance that the others were happy to give.

“Right.” Jungkook said firmly, smiling in a way that he supposed was comforting.

The trio sat on the couch for a bit as Seokjin calmed down before diving into an argument over what to have for dinner. Taehyung was well on his way to explaining why pickled quail eggs would be perfect for tonight when a phone started vibrating on the table. The three looked down and quickly confirmed it was Seokjin’s and he leaned over to check the number before answering. He faltered for a second, hand hovering over the answer button.

“I don’t know this number.” Seokjin stated, staring at the screen blankly. Everyone was silent, a looming feeling of no way, it can’t be floating in the air around them.

“You don’t think…” Taehyung murmured, eyes wide and lips fighting not to smile. Seokjin stood up stiffly and walked a short distance from the amused pair before answering.

“Hello?” He spoke hesitantly trying to ignore his sweaty palms.

“Um, hey. I uh, I’m the guy that took the wrong coffee this morning. It had your number on it?” A voice rasped over the line and Seokjin felt his stomach drop. He really did it, the guy actually called.

“Oh. Yeah, fantastic, I’m sorry I guess.” Seokjin replied, voice clipped.

“If you don’t mind me asking, which one are you?” The guy asked and Seokjin had to clear his throat to fight the nerves.

“Uh, my name is Seokjin. I’m the tallest one? The oldest too.”

“Oh, that one.” The voice said sounding almost relieved, “My name is Yoongi by the way.”

Seokjin didn’t have time to decode the tone of voice, his anxiety rising just slightly now that he’d been identified. He could get in so much trouble for pulling a stunt like writing his number on a patron’s cup. He’d witnessed 3 people get written up for stuff like that in his two years at the shop. He’d be no exception to punishment, even with his seniority and perfect track record.

“Alright, well, Yoongi, sorry about the mix up, please don’t report me to management for harassment or something-” Seokjin’s pleading was cut off by an awkward fake cough from the other line. There was some grumbling and static and Seokjin’s brows knitted in confusion as he waited for the other man to speak.

“You wanna go out sometime?” Yoongi eventually mumbled out and Seokjin halted in his pacing.

“Excuse me?” He replied, a little shell shocked by the proposition.

It seemed he wasn’t the only one taken aback by the question, as the other line went silent as well. Seokjin could almost feel the embarrassment radiating from the receiver and the thought made him smile a bit. Finally a sigh broke through the static, followed by some more grumbling and another fake cough.

“Fuck, this is weird right? But hey, carpe diem, or some shit…” Yoongi’s voice trailed off into grumbles again, static threatening to overtake the sound.

Maybe it was the stress from midterms, maybe it was the light accent in Yoongi’s voice. Maybe it was just meant to be, but whatever the reason Seokjin found himself clutching the phone closer and smiling ruefully as he made up his mind.

“Yeah, uh...sure then. Okay.” Seokjin spoke confidently into the receiver, shocking even himself with his even tone.

“Okay? Like, you’ll go out with me?” The voice sounded a bit incredulous and Seokjin nodded before realizing he couldn’t be seen.

“Yes, yeah sure, why not. Just don’t report me or anything. Even if the date goes bad, please, I don’t want to lose my job over this.” Seokjin practically pleaded into the phone, earning a throaty laugh from Yoongi.

“Alright. Cool. I’ll...text you or something. You free on Friday?”

“Yeah, it’s my day off actually.”

“Nice. Okay. Yeah. Alright, bye Seokjin.”

“Bye Yoongi…”

Seokjin stood there with the phone pressed to his ear until the dial tone blared over the speaker. He lowered the phone slowly and ended the call, staring at the darkening screen for what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes. He took a shallow breath and walked back into the living room, meeting the worried expressions of his roommates.

“So, I have a date on Friday?”

They stared back with matching dumbfounded expressions. The delicate moment was broken with Jungkook’s sputtering.

“Seokjin, what the fuck.”

✷✷✷

Seokjin wasn’t too sure what he was expecting when Friday rolled around. Yoongi had in fact texted him and they’d been engaged in a casual conversation since. He knew that Yoongi was a senior (like him), that he majored in Literature (interesting) and that he worked part-time in an old record shop (pretty cool). Yoongi knew just about as much about him, except he had one slight advantage: Seokjin had absolutely no idea what Yoongi looked like.

Yoongi wasn’t exactly a regular at the coffee shop, at least not during the hours Seokjin worked. The only thing Seokjin could recall from the day Yoongi grabbed the wrong cup was that he was short, maybe shorter than Jimin. Other than that, nothing. Meanwhile it seemed like Yoongi was well aware of who Seokjin was. He felt both a bit apprehensive and a bit excited at the prospect that this was kind of like a blind date.

They decided to meet up Friday for a late lunch at a popular barbecue place not too far from campus. Seokjin arrived a few minutes early and scanned the restaurant for anyone who might be his mystery date. After confirming there were no short, lonesome college men waiting for someone, Seokjin made himself comfortable in the foyer, messing with his phone for lack of anything better to do. It didn’t take maybe another few minutes before the door opened and someone new walked in.

“Uh, Seokjin?” A vaguely familiar voice called from behind and Seokjin spun around to see a new face.

The guy was indeed short and his body petite to match. Or maybe it was just the tight jeans and baggy tee that made him seem even thinner. Bubblegum pink hair was visible from under a black beanie, messy bangs falling just short of sharp eyes and oh no he’s pretty. Yoongi continued to stand there awkwardly and it was then that Seokjin realized he hadn’t answered yet.

“Yes. Me. That’s me. Seokjin.” He announced, face hot and speech a bit jilted as he tried to recover his cool.

“Hey, I’m Yoongi. Nice to finally really meet you I guess.” Yoongi said with a small smile, extending his hand in greeting.

“Definitely.” Seokjin replied breathlessly, shaking his hand (a very pretty hand) maybe a little too enthusiastically.

Yoongi pulled back and coughed awkwardly, just like he’d done countless times over the phone, probably a nervous habit of his. He excused himself to go talk to the hostess, giving Seokjin a quick minute to take a deep breath and recenter his focus. The guy was attractive, but Seokjin had dealt with plenty of attractive people; Seokjin was an attractive people. He could do this, he could totally do this-

“I hope you weren’t waiting here long.” Yoongi stepped back into his line of sight and Seokjin felt his face grow hot again.

“No, not at all. Maybe like 3 minutes top.” He followed the waitress to their table, smiling amicably once they were seated.

“That’s good. Uh, you can order whatever you’d like. It’s my treat today.” Yoongi motioned vaguely over the menu, eyes downcast.

“No way, we can split the check.”

“Really, I insist. It’s uh, I mean I asked you out. It’s dating etiquette or whatever.”

Seokjin hummed disapprovingly but let it slide for now. There was something like determination in Yoongi’s tone and he didn’t want to fight over the check on the first date. So he went ahead and ordered his favorite meat cut combo and only let his heart flutter a little bit at Yoongi’s nod of approval. If there was one thing Seokjin knew, it was food.

While they wait for food, Seokjin takes it upon himself to carry the conversation. He talks a little bit about everything, from his disastrous roommates to the test he probably failed an hour ago. Normally having to drive a conversation so much would be a turnoff, but Seokjin is genuinely enjoying the small ways Yoongi responds to him. It’s in the relaxing of his posture, the slow nodding, the twitch of his lips every now and then; Seokjin would talk forever if it meant Yoongi would be listening.

Alright, that was an awfully cheesy thought and Seokjin might’ve been jumping the gun, but he’d always been a romantic at heart. When the food arrived, Yoongi offered to cook and serve Seokjin first, an offer he reluctantly obliged. While he grilled Seokjin continued talking, pausing every now and then to offer some help, all of which went dismissed. When he started piling the pieces of cooked meat on Seokjin’s plate he did the courteous thing and stuffed his mouth before it got cold. That caused Yoongi to crack a wide smile that showed his gums and Seokjin felt his face flush. Cute. He also noted that Yoongi had the tendency to fake-cough whenever he felt flustered, which totally wasn’t cute.

And then just like that it was like their roles were reversed. Yoongi started chattering away about this and that, in a smooth rumbling tone that was honestly relaxing. He did these subtle hand motions to go along with whatever story he was telling and made eye contact a lot more often. There was this mischievous glint Yoongi would get in his eyes whenever he told a particularly funny story; Seokjin could see himself falling in love with it.

Eventually they trailed off into a comfortable silence while they both ate, Seokjin slipping small compliments about how well the meat was cooked. If he only did this to see Yoongi blush, well, who could blame him really. Seokjin was nothing if not a charmer and he’d decided Yoongi was someone worth charming.

Halfway through their meal, Seokjin paused after a bite and put down his chopsticks. His lack of motion caught Yoongi’s attention and he paused in his eating as well, raising his brow in question. Seokjin hummed and asked the thing that had been plaguing him since he first got Yoongi’s call.

“I’m curious, what made you call the number written on a cup that obviously wasn’t yours?”

The question was bound to come up, surely Yoongi knew this, but it didn’t stop him from flushing as soon as the words left Seokjin’s mouth. Yoongi fake-coughed again as he tried to gather his thoughts. Seokjin started thinking he should keep count next time before he realized he was already thinking of a next time. He snapped out of his little daydream of a second date when Yoongi started speaking, more of a gruff mumble to hide his embarrassment.

“Yeah, so, I wasn’t going to call. But my roommate thought it was fucking hilarious and conned me into calling.”

“Sounds like a keeper.” Seokjin commented jokingly to lighten the mood. It worked and he watched a bit of the tension drain from Yoongi’s shoulders.

“Yeah, he basically held me at gunpoint while I called. And when he found out it was you on the line, he commenced operation ‘make Yoongi ask him out’.”

“Why me? You don’t think the others are cute?” Seokjin joked and Yoongi did another of his flustered fake coughs.

“Uh, you see, I’ve had kind of a small crush on you for a while now. Hoseok always teases the shit out of me because we’ve never actually talked or anything.”

“I swear I’ve never seen you in the coffee shop. Are you a stalker?” Seokjin deadpanned and that got a laugh out of Yoongi.

“Fuck off, no I’m not. We actually had a class together last semester.”

“No shit?”

“Yeah, it was philosophy. With Dr. Kim. You sat like two rows in front of me.” Yoongi tapped his fingers nervously on the table, but laughed when he met Seokjin’s blank expression. “You don’t have to remember me, I was usually asleep in the back.”

“So that lump of gray hoodie in the back was you?” Seokjin asked with a smile, finally remembering the guy that unfailingly fell asleep by the end of every lecture.

Yoongi let out a snort which shouldn’t have been attractive, but it was, and they continued their meal in comfortable silence.

Not for the first time today Seokjin’s mind drifted to thoughts of Jimin. Would a date with Jimin go something like this? Would he get flustered at every flirty word, but the minute a dad joke slipped out, look like he was ready to walk away from the table? Would he have a nervous habit like drumming his fingers or looking down while smiling?

The more Seokjin thought about the possibilities the more he realized he didn’t care. He’d been flirting with the other boy for over a month now; safe to say he missed his shot. Meanwhile, Yoongi took a leap of faith by calling a mystery number in the off-chance that maybe Seokjin would be on the other end.

The thought made him feel all warm and gooey inside, and he couldn’t help the cheesy smile that broke across his face. Yoongi was looking at him quizzically, toying with the edge of his beanie to fix his bangs. Seokjin had always liked the color pink but he possibly loved it more now that he’s witnessed the way it softened the harsh lines of Yoongi’s eyes.

Yoongi’s eyes, which were still watching him like he was a bit worried, and oh yeah he was probably still staring and smiling like a sap. Seokjin cleared his throat and did his best to school his features into something more serious.

“You probably already figured, but I had written my number for somebody else.”

“Yeah…” Yoongi looked down and away, dejection clear in his posture and Seokjin fought back another smile as he continued, tone still grave.

“But I’m really glad you picked it up instead.”

Yoongi looked up at that, surprise clear on his face, and this time it was Seokjin’s turn to look away in embarrassment, gentle smile on his lips. For the first time that day, their silence was tense and slightly charged with...something, Seokjin wasn’t quite sure of what. Just as soon as it came, it was disrupted by the arrival of the waiter. Yoongi snatched the check before Seokjin could even try to protest and slipped his card to the waiter. He seemed rather smug about that and Seokjin just rolled his eyes and laughed.

They continued talking as they left the restaurant, the air turning crisp as it approached evening time. Seokjin didn’t have anywhere to be for the rest of the day and he kind of wished he could just never leave this moment. He couldn’t think of someplace he’d rather be than right here, on the sidewalk, watching Yoongi talk about his weird coworker.

Actually, there was one other place he could think of.

“Hey, Yoongi.” Seokjin touched the man’s shoulder to get his attention, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. “There’s this dessert place down the street I’ve been wanting to try. If you’re not busy right now, want to join me?”

Yoongi blinked a couple times, processing both the hand on his shoulder and the question it seemed. After a few seconds, a shy smile snuck onto his face and he relaxed into the touch.

“Yeah, okay, sure.”

Seokjin didn’t try to fight his wide smile this time, looping his arm fully around Yoongi’s shoulder to lead the way.

“Fantastic. Also, this one is my treat.”