#I’ll laugh at all the dumb jokes your coworkers say and then whisper comments into your ear as we walk away

[paradoxolotl]

I fear I was meant to be a trophy wife

[thishintoflove]

“I Think He Knows” - A Kingsman Fanfic

TSwift Songfic Week Day 5

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x M!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Explicit (Pining, dirty talk, hand jobs, oral sex)

A/N: I feel like there’s a lack of M/M in the Pedro cinematic universe fandom, so here’s some bisexual Whiskey having a good time with a fellow male agent.

Summary: You and Agent Whiskey are paired together for an out-of-state mission. On your last night, your pining and his flirting finally come to a head.

I think he knows his hands around

A cold glass

Make me wanna know that body

Like it's mine

The mission was long but you were finally finished with it. Three weeks in Dallas were more than enough for you, and you were looking forward to getting home to your own bed and your own office in Kentucky. You were aching for the privacy it offered, after spending almost a month sharing a hotel room with your fellow agent. This time you’d been paired up with Agent Whiskey, and because of that you were glad the trip was almost over.

It’s not because Agent Whiskey- Jack - was incapable. Quite the opposite. He was extremely efficient and good at his job but he was also… extremely attractive. Which was a huge distraction.

You took pride in being a capable agent but Jack and his pretty face compromised that. You’ve never been in a situation like this before. Lusting over your coworker felt extremely unprofessional, but it was impossible to ignore him. He was an in-your-face kind of guy, always butting in with a comment or joke, always using his body as a weapon. He’d lounge around your shared hotel room in nothing but a thin towel, his wet hair draped across his forehead, and you swear he did it on purpose. The man knew how attractive he was and he obviously loved flaunting it.

He was tall and tan, with soft brown hair, a pair of beautiful round eyes that seemed to sparkle with amusement, and a smile that made your knees weak. The downside was that his smile made just about everyone weak. You were living in your own personal hell. Every single day having to watch Jack be attractive without even trying, and then watch as everyone in his vicinity tried to flirt with him. Tonight he was wearing a black leather jacket and extremely tight jeans, looking more like a movie star than an undercover agent. The man could pull off anything. It’s actually unfair.

You were out at some dive bar, celebrating the end to a successful mission before flying home tomorrow. It was Jack’s idea of course, but you’d agreed because you needed a stiff drink after these three long weeks and honestly you couldn’t say no to him.

“Another round, kid?”

You glanced up and saw him staring at you, a twinkle in his bright eyes. His hand gripped his empty whiskey glass and you eyed your own half-full drink. You couldn’t throw it back like him.

“I’m good for now,” you answered.

He nodded and slapped you on the shoulder as he stood up, “I’ll get you another one anyway. You better finish that by the time I get back.”

You sighed as you watched him walk away. His ass looked fantastic in those jeans. All the training and harsh exercise routines that Champ put the team through really worked for him. No wonder he could get any pretty thing he wanted.

Speaking of which, he seemed to have turned his affections on someone else. You groaned, your eyes never wavering from where Jack stood. He was currently making small talk with the pretty brunette bartender. He was giving her the full Whiskey treatment- gazing at her with those soft, mocha-colored puppy dog eyes and giving her a charming half-grin. Watching him flirt was simultaneously entertaining and torturous. He threw his head back, laughing at some dumb joke the bartender must have said, and you almost growled out loud as you hungrily stared at his neck.

Stupid horny bastard.

He got that boyish look that I like in a man

I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans

It's like I'm seventeen, nobody understands

No one understands

You were getting really sick of hiding your partial hard-ons and jacking off in the cold shower, but everything the man did was hot. The deep voice and accent alone were enough to get you going on most days. God, you hadn’t felt like this since high school.

If Jack noticed you staring or caught on to the fact that you took extra long showers, he didn’t say anything. You were openly out at the agency and your sexuality wasn’t a secret. When you first joined the Statesmen, you felt you had something to prove at work, as if you had to demonstrate your masculinity by keeping up with the largest members of the team. But you’ve excelled in your role for years now and you were beyond proving yourself at this point. You were just glad that Agent Whiskey wasn’t one of the people who cared that you liked men.

In fact, he treated you just like he treated everyone-- this meant he wasn’t shy about flirting and teasing you. Sometimes it seemed like he was coming onto you, but you had to remind yourself that he was like that with everyone-- you weren’t special and there was no way he was actually interested.

Before falling asleep each night, you’d listen to Jack’s soft snores and run scenarios through your head of every possible way that you could share your feelings. You thought about all of the things you could say, and all of the ways Jack could react. It was agonizing but your analytical mind couldn’t stop. You wished you had the courage to just ask him out. The worst that could happen is he’d say ‘no’ and maybe request to never work with you again, but then at least you’d be free of him.

Wanna see what's under that attitude

Like, I want you, bless my soul

And I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

A loud laugh suddenly interrupted your thoughts and you looked over to the bar again. The bartender was giggling and grasping at Jack’s arm. The sight made your stomach turn, and you made a quick decision to get out of there before you had to watch them start making out over the bar.

You stepped up next to Jack and finally drew his attention away from the girl.

“Hey, hold off on my drink. I’m gonna head out,” you told him.

“What? Come on now, it’s so early!”

“Yeah. I just don’t really feel like hanging out anymore. I’ll see you back there.”

Before Jack could respond, you threw down some cash on the bar and turned away. You were already across the floor and on your way out the door when a hand on your arm stopped you.

“Hey. Are you pissed at me or something?”

“No,” you muttered, trying to ignore the shot of arousal you felt when he grabbed you, “I just don’t feel like sitting in the corner, watching you flirt with some chick.”

You tried to turn away from him, but Jack let out a quiet “ohhh” of understanding. His grip on your arm tightened.

“We’ve been on this mission for weeks now, and on our last night you finally decide to say something?” Jack laughed, turning you around so you were facing him again. He invaded your personal space, ducking his head and trailing his nose along your neck and jaw.

“What?” you asked, confused because he couldn’t possibly mean...

“You're so slow, that’s what,” Jack mumbled, his lips tracing along your neck. It felt amazing, but... was Jack- your fellow agent and known womanizer- really nuzzling your neck right now?

“I'm confused, are you really into this?” you asked again, trying to hold back a moan. Jack pulled away and looked at you with huge eyes.

“God, you’re an idiot. I've been sending you obvious signs, makin’ eyes at you and showing off what I got, and now I'm literally biting your neck, and you're still asking?” Jack said incredulously. You searched his face and saw eyes that were filled with desperation and lust.

“I just assumed…”

“I like it both ways, kid. Is that clear enough for you?”

He then took one step forward and kissed you fully on the lips. There was only a moment of shock before you melted into the kiss, pressing your bodies closer and running your hands over Jack’s shoulders and back. All of your worries disappeared then. You didn't feel the terrible anxiety that constantly filled you with dread. Your mind stopped frantically thinking about every possible worst case scenario. Everything stopped. There was only Jack.

“Oh ohhhh right. Yeah I’m an idiot,” you quietly mumbled against his lips, “Want to go back to the hotel?”

“Fuckin’ finally,” he replied with a grin.

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

So where we gonna go?

I whisper in the dark

You weren’t sure how you made it back to the hotel so quickly, but as soon as you tumbled through the door, Jack had you pinned to the bed underneath him. His hands roamed all over your torso, and he pulled the shirt over your head and tossed it aside before quickly doing the same to his own. The room was filled with your little whimpers every time Jack ground his hips against yours. You stared up at him, his lips swollen and red bitten and eyes blown with lust, and you were positive that you looked just as debauched. He looked just as beautiful hovering over you as you’d always imagined, and you wanted to feel him everywhere.

“More,” you whined, canting your hips up into Jack’s.

He groaned and trailed his hands down your chest, his fingers brushing against your nipples, causing a moan to slip from your mouth. He continued his journey down until he reached the fly of your jeans.

“Lift up,” Jack mumbled, leaning in to kiss your neck as he tried to tug your pants down. You obeyed and soon your pants and your boxers were off, leaving you completely exposed.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he moaned, his fingers barely brushing over your erection, “You’re even prettier than I thought, darlin’.”

You groaned, pushing your body closer to Jack’s. As his hand slowly learned the feel of your cock, your own hands wandered all over his body. From his strong shoulders to his muscular back, to his waist, his hips, his thick thighs. You slipped one hand into his jeans to grab his ass, finally getting the chance to touch the part of Jack’s body you’d fantasized about the most. You could feel his clothed erection rubbing against your thigh as Jack continued steadily stroking your cock.

“Jack,” you whimpered, gazing into his dark, lust-filled eyes. You were barely able to control your thoughts properly since Jack’s pace was getting quicker and way too distracting. He grinned down at you.

“This good, baby? You want it a little rougher?” he asked, a groan slipping from his lips as you squeezed his ass in response.

Jack pushed forward and kissed you harder this time, moving his hand faster along your cock. Then he kissed his way down your neck, sucking and nipping all your sensitive spots. Suddenly he bit down hard on the skin between your neck and shoulder, following it up with a long lick with his wide tongue. That show of possessiveness was enough to push you right to the edge. You cried out as pleasure tore through you, coming in ropes all over Jack’s large hand. You gasped for breath, your chest rising and falling as your head lolled against the pillows.

Jack hovered over you, continuing to kiss your neck and upper chest as you came down from your high. “I’ve been told I’m good with my hands, can I get a confirmation on that, darlin'?“ he asked with a cocky grin.

Your eyes blinked open and you smirked at him. “You’ve got the confirmation all over your hand.”

“Ooooh, so he’s mouthy all of a sudden. Guess I just had to get you in bed to see the sassy side of you, huh?” Jack tutted.

“I’ll show you mouthy,” you muttered, blushing at the stupid euphemism even as you trailed a line of kisses down Jack’s sternum and belly.

When you reached the top of his jeans, you surprised your fellow agent by flipping him over and yanking his pants down in one fluid motion. Jack growled at the switch, but when you took his cock into your mouth, he gasped and surged forward. You enjoyed the desperate moan he made as you swallowed him completely, his hips bucking into your mouth. But you wanted to take your time with this. You grasped his hip bone with one hand and held him down, before pulling off his cock and moving to lightly lick his balls. Jack was making beautiful, desperate noises and you loved the idea that this strong, confident agent was falling apart because of you. You smiled against him and swiped your tongue along the bottom of his shaft before taking him fully into your mouth again.

“Holy hell, you’re fuckin’ amazing,“ Jack groaned as you bobbed up and down on his cock, “I’m so close-”

You sucked harder and reached your other hand down to fondle his balls again as Jack thrust into your mouth. Soon he was arching forward and shouting your name. You let him come in your mouth, swallowing his seed down like it was another shot at the bar.

When you looked up at Jack from between his legs, you grinned. He had his head tilted back, one hand thrown across his mouth as he stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily. When he felt your eyes on him, he looked down at you with a satisfied smile.

“Damn, that was…”

“Amazing,” you cut him off, “Even better than I imagined.”

“So you imagined it, huh?”

Unable to control the urge any longer, you leaned forward and pulled Jack into a sweet, affectionate kiss. You ran your fingers through his soft hair and you could feel him grinning the whole time. When you finally pulled back, he was still smiling but he also looked a bit confused.

“Why haven’t we done this sooner?” he asked.

“I was convinced you were straight. I’ve been a fucking mess trying to decide if I should say something or not,” you replied.

Jack hummed and reached for you, but you chuckled and pulled away.

“You need a shower,” you said, “Then we can talk some more.”

“Only if you join me, sugar...”

I want you, bless my soul

I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

[hearteyesbowen]

meet the parents ☆ ricky bowen

requested by: @iamveryborrrreddd thank u so much for ur request

ricky is going to meet y/n’s parents for the first time, and nothing kills him more than knowing what his girlfriend’s parents think of him

warnings: fluff

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Ricky 💞

what if they hate me?

what if they make you break up with me cuz they think i’m not good enough for you?

i’m sorry i’m being dumb right now but i just really want them to like me

you know, because i kinda really like you

You rolled your eyes at the texts your boyfriend sent you. Yesterday, your parents decided they wanted to finally sit down and get to know Ricky over dinner, instead of the little waves they gave each other when he dropped you off at home. Once you brought up the idea to him, he absolutely loved it. He always talked about wanting to get to know each other’s families, of course now that you have been dating for a few months already. It wasn’t until today during school, he got more anxious. His leg bounced the whole duration of class and he played with your fingers more, a habit you found out he had when he got nervous. You found it quite adorable, especially because of the extra affection that came with it. Now it was 5:30 pm, Ricky is supposed to be over in half an hour, and you could only imagine the mess in his room from all the possible outfit changes he made.

“The table is set and I made enough food for everyone. Are you exited?” Your mom asked as she popped into your room.

You took another quick look at your reflection, smoothing out your simple dress. “Yeah, it should be fun. He’s really nervous to meet you guys.”

“I don’t think it would be that, he sounds really sweet from what you have told me.” She came behind you, resting her arm over your shoulder and her head on yours as you both looked into the mirror.

“Just don’t scare him, I don’t want him to be more intimated than I think he already is.”

“No promises.” Your mom smiled cheekily at you before patting your shoulder and leaving your room.

My parents are crazy.

➢➣ ➢➣

It had been about 15 minutes since Ricky finally came. His curls prominent on his head, a simple button-up shirt with a black leather jacket, black jeans, and his usual vans. He brought a small bouquet of tulips for your mom, making her blush. After a small formal handshake with your parents, you could still sense the tension in his body after coming inside. Your dad showed you all to the dining table, completely covered with food. Both your parents sat on opposite ends of the table, letting you and Ricky sit next to each other. Being the gentleman he is, Ricky pulled your chair out for you before you were able to do it yourself. You gave a quick glance at either of your parents to see any change of reaction from their artificial, stern faces, but saw nothing. Here we go.

“You look good, Ricky. Where did you get that shirt?” Your dad asked, slowly eating the food your mom cooked.

Ricky’s hand subtly held yours under the table, letting it rest on his thigh. You smiled to yourself, letting your thumb graze over his skin soothingly.

“My dad and I went to his coworker’s wedding recently, so we went to this tuxedo shop downtown. Never really wore fancy stuff before then” You both laughed, but stopped once you realized you two were the only ones laughing.

Your dad nodded his head, not giving another reply. Almost silently, a small breath of air left Ricky’s lips. You squeezed his hand, giving a reassuring smile.

“Have you decided what you want to do after high school? I know my daughter has stuck with her major since she was in elementary school.” Your mom eyed Ricky, making his grip on your hands tighten. You glared at her, but got no look back.

He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair before answering, “You know, I’m actually not too sure yet. Maybe something with engineering? I’m still figuring it out.” He forced out a laugh, you joining him, but kept quiet after another lack of a reaction from your parents.

“Don’t worry, not everyone has their life planned out. Sometimes people don’t know until it’s too late, so just don’t be late.” Your dad joked, giving the tiniest bit of a smile.

Small talk continued through the evening, though most of it was between your parents and small comments from you and Ricky. His grip gradually softened, making you believe that he started to get more comfortable with them. That was not the case. His leg still shook under the table, he barely made eye contact with you, and his jaw tensed every time they called his name.

Now it has been two hours, and you still had school the next day. You all finished your meals, and Ricky had offered to help clean the table with your dad. You and your mom had been in the living room, waiting for the both of them to come back out and say goodbye.

“What was that all about?” You questioned your mom, keeping a soft volume as to not let Ricky and your dad hear.

She finally showed a genuine smile, shrugging her shoulders. “What do you mean?”

“I said not to scare him! He’s never looked more terrified in his life.” You groan.

“We just wanted to see how he would act if we were strict. Don’t worry, Y/N, we really like him.”

“Don’t you realize how nerv- wait, what?” You stop rambling after hearing your mom.

She laughed, rubbing your back. “Your dad and I knew we would like him just by the way he was so nervous when he greeted us. He’s very polite, and he looks like a great boyfriend.”

You let out a breath of relief, leaning your head on her shoulder.

“I just hope dad isn’t giving him a really bad talk.”

“No promises.” She laughed.

Soon after, Ricky and your dad walked out of the kitchen. Somehow Ricky looked slightly more pale than he usually was. He stood next to you after shaking both your parents’ hands, giving you a scared smile.

“T-Thank you for inviting me over tonight, you’re both v-very lovely people and it was a p-pleasure to meet you.” He stuttered.

You could see a hint of a grin on your mom’s lips. “It was nice to meet you, too. Have a good rest of your night.”

“Remember our talk, Ricky.” Your dad reminded, giving a hard pat on his shoulder.

You turned to your boyfriend, grabbing his hand. He jolted, caught off guard by your touch before he hesitantly held it. “I’ll walk you out.” You smiled. He nodded, giving one last wave to your parents before following you out the front door.

The sky was dark already, stars eminent amongst the sky along with the lights of passing airplanes. Cold air blew through you, you chose to believe that was the reason Ricky walked so far from you. You walked him to the front of his car, but he didn’t look your way.

“Thanks for coming tonight, it means a lot to me.” You mumble, awkwardly shifting back in forth.

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He grinned.

You move your arms to hug him, frowning at his body pull back slightly. He held your waist, stuffing his face in your neck. As he pulled away, you lean in and peck his lips, smiling at each other before he got in his car.

➢➣ ➢➣

You stood outside your fourth period classroom, waiting for Ricky to come by so you could walk together to lunch. Since this morning, you didn’t get a single text or call from him. No sight of him even before school or passing period either. You began to worry, especially since it has been five minutes since lunch began and Ricky usually managed to get to you the second class was over.

You huffed, realizing the behavior of your boyfriend. He probably thinks my parents hate him. You rush around the halls, knowing exactly where he would be if he wasn’t with you.

The doors of the theatre stood in front of you, so you quietly opened the door as to not disrupt anyone that may be inside. The stage lights were on, leaving the seats dark. The piano in the far corner caught your eye, as your boyfriend sat on the seat in front of it with his guitar.

“Ricky?”

His head shot up, eyes wide once he heard his name leave your lips. He set his guitar against the seat, letting it lean as he stood up. His hands were either in his pocket, or scratching the back of his neck.

“Hey.” He mumbled.

“What’s wrong? I understand that my parents probably scared the hell out of you, but why have you been avoiding me?”

You were now standing a few inches away from him. His heart broke hearing how you felt. He didn’t mean to be so distant, and he especially didn’t mean to make you feel like you were the problem.

“I’m really sorry. It’s just that after last night, it sounded like your parents didn’t like me. And right after dinner your dad told me that if I believe that I’m good enough for you, then that’s all that matters. I thought about it for a bit, and I realized that maybe I’m not as good enough as I think I am. Or maybe he doesn’t think I should be with you.”

His eyes watered, so you instinctively held his face on your hands, making him nuzzle his cheek into your palms.

“Ricky, they love you.” You whisper, making him raise his eyebrows.

“But the way they talked to m-”

“They’re were trying to scare you, but they like you. I tried to tell them not to, but it’s some weird parent thing, I guess.”

For the first time in two days, you felt him relax. No more tense shoulders or jittery movements, just him softening his body with yours.

“And don’t ever think you’re not good enough for me. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have you.”

His hands held your waist, bringing you closer to his body as he placed his lips on yours. You kissed back immediately, missing the feeling.

You pulled away, resting your forehead against his. “How about after school we go talk to them again? I promise they won’t be as serious as they were yesterday.”

He pecked your lips again, smiling.

“That would be nice.”

A/N - thank u for ur request !! i hope u like it (: also i started online school last week ughhh i literally just got out a few minutes ago so wish me luck on that . love y’all xx

taglist - @love-joshy @mzzjads @seaveyssparkle

[myheartrevealedocs]

Untouchable Ch 32: Finale

Warnings: mentions of family tension, swearing

Ch 31 | Series Masterlist

A/N: Only like... three weeks late. my bad. But I figured if I was going o end one of my longest fanfics ever, it shouldn’t be on such a dull note, so I did some revamping!

~ ~ ~

Lydia had warned Spencer of the reaction he was going to get when he walked into the office that morning for a case. She knew the team pretty well, if she did say so herself. And she was totally right, but Spencer would never tell her that, nor would anyone get the chance, as the whole conversation was upstaged by a completely different topic.

Stepping into the conference room just a little bit late, JJ and Garcia saw Spencer in the door and stopped their briefing distractedly.

“Well, hello,” JJ teased, causing everyone to turn around and check out whatever had caught her off guard.

Spencer’s old (and in Lydia’s opinion, annoyingly long) hair was gone, being replaced by a shaggy and much shorter style.

He shot everyone a tight smile, sitting down quickly as if that might make them go back to the briefing, but everyone took another second to stare at his head and wonder if they missed something. I mean, why suddenly change your hairstyle if not due to some sort of emotional turmoil?

“What, did you join a boyband?” Hotch said, almost jokingly, but his voice was slightly too stern.

Morgan gave up his facade and let his chuckles loose, the rest of the team breaking out into smiles as well.

“No,” Spencer responded. “I was trying something out, since Lydia wants my hair short for the wedding.”

That shut them up fast.

“You popped the question?! Reid, man, you gotta tell us these things!” Morgan exclaimed, his eyes wide.

“We thought it’d be funny to follow our lying routine and wait a few weeks to mention it,” Reid replied with a shrug.

That’s when the rest of the team seemed to catch on, JJ especially freaking out over the news. “Weeks??!? Spencer, how could you? You got engaged and just failed to mention it?”

“Tell us everything!” Emily interrupted. “Did you get down on a knee?”

“Guys-” Hotch tried to get them on track, but it was no use.

“I can have her come in when we get back to show off the ring,” Spencer offered.

“How much did you spend on it?” Rossi asked, more out of curiosity than concern.

“Where will you guys have the wedding?” Garcia chimed in, rushing around the table to pull Spencer into a hug from behind his chair. “Here in DC? Or in a destination spot?”

“Team!” Hotch demanded. “We need to be briefed and get on the jet as soon as possible.”

Everyone was serious from then on. Or, at least, they were all holding their questions until the jet. None of them even noticed or heard Hotch lean over and whisper a quick “congratulations” to the genius, but it felt fitting for the unit chief to be the first of the team to say it.

~ ~ ~

“You aren’t allowed to take Spencer wedding dress shopping!” JJ teased as the four girls headed to their first stop of the day.

“Wait, you were planning on bringing Reid?” Penelope laughed, light filtering through her newly dyed, red hair.

“Well, I was, until Jayje told me it was forbidden or something,” Lydia replied, trying to keep up while also answering work emails on her phone. “I thought the whole ‘seeing the wedding dress before the wedding’ was just a dumb superstition.”

“Oh no, it is,” Emily assured her. “But it’s pretty damn funny that you think Reid would be any help in picking out clothes.”

Lydia shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s his wedding day, too. I think we should both have a say in what it looks like.”

“Not the dress,” Garcia insisted. “The dress is all you. Spencer has no choice but to love you in whatever you wear.”

“And he will,” Emily said. “He’s so far gone.”

“Well… we both are,” Lydia shrugged.

~ ~ ~

“Beck, I’ll be there in 6 hours,” Lydia insisted, leaning up against Spencer uncomfortably in the airport chairs. “You can panic about the dress and the flowers-”

“You should care more! I mean, you’re getting married in a week.”

Spencer raised his eyebrows, likely being able to hear his future sister-in-law on the other end. Lydia rolled her eyes in explanation. “Well, what did Sonia say about the dress?”

“She said she’ll just wear something from her closet.”

“Then let her,” Lydia sighed. “She can wear jeans if that’s what she’s comfortable in! You know, my coworker’s son is planning to come as Captain America. It’s not going to ruin the-”

“But she’s the mother of the bride! The mothers and fathers are always dressed up!”

“Remind me when you’re getting married that I don’t want to be your maid of honor,” Lydia joked. “I think I can easily go my whole life without planning another wedding.”

“Sonia said she didn’t count as mother of the bride,” Rebecca continued, ignoring her comment. “I told her that she was crazy-”

“Tell Sonia that she is definitely my mom for the day,” Lydia insisted. “And also tell her that as my mother, I give her free reign over the outfit.”

“I’m just pissed,” Beck hissed over the line. “That dress is sooner to fit little Katie than it is to fit her.”

Lydia nodded, shifting herself away from Spencer to lean forward, her elbows on her knees. “Yeah, um… What’s the situation with Dad, by the way?”

“He’s definitely coming,” Beck reassured her. “He’s super proud of you. But I think he’s a little upset that you don’t want him to walk you down the aisle.”

“I didn’t expect him to be happy,” Lydia admitted.

“I know… But I think he understands. And I know he won’t start anything on your big day. But he might want to talk to you when you land in California.”

Lydia huffed, only continuing when Spencer began rubbing light circles into her back. “Okay. Will he be with you to pick me up?”

“Nah. It’ll just be Sonia and I. Give Spencer a warning about Sonia’s hugs, by the way. She’s never actually seen him in person and she plans to suffocate him.”

“Duly noted. I’ll see you when I land?”

“Yep! Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Setting her phone in her lap, Lydia went right back to her spot in her fiancé’s side.

“Dress and flowers?” Spencer asked.

“Sonia’s dress doesn’t fit,” Lydia shrugged. “Like, is tiny, doesn’t fit. And according to Beck, that’s a big deal. Then, the florist was asking about changing some of the flowers for the table settings and she flipped her shit-”

“No kidding,” Spencer agreed. “She was really set on a full green and white bouquet.”

“I’m so scared for her wedding.”

Spencer gave her a look. “Oh, come on. You have to realize that if this were her wedding, you’d be just like this.”

“What?” Lydia exclaimed.

“Rebecca would not care at all if this were her wedding and someone accidentally brought red roses instead of white,” he laughed. “She cares because it’s your wedding. And she loves you. So, the roses have to be white. No matter what it takes.”

“Well,” Lydia snapped, “I wouldn’t freak out on a poor florist just because of some misunderstanding-”

“But you would pay extra,” he argued. “And you’d pick them up from a warehouse in a different state. In fact, you’d probably go out and pick them yourself if that was the only option.”

Lydia opted to say, “I’m ignoring that comment.”

“Because you know I’m right,” he gloated.

“I hate profilers.”

He chuckled, pulling her closer into his side. “I know you do.”

“So, how’s your mom?” she asked, wanting to move away from the topic of her family. “Does she still have a ride to San Francisco?”

“Yes,” Spencer reassured her. “My dad will be driving her to California on Wednesday and then taking her back to the hospital Saturday morning. I’m not sure why he thought an eight hour drive with his ex-wife would be a good idea…”

“They’re in the same boat,” Lydia replied. “I know that it sounds… painful, but they are so excited to see you get married, they don’t mind the journey. And your dad knows that it wouldn’t be the same if your mom wasn’t there. He’ll make sure she gets there okay, for your sake.”

The two of them spent the rest of their time waiting patiently for the boarding call for their flight. Occasionally, one would lean over to the other to make guesses about why those around them were flying to SF or to comment on a kid’s cute suitcase, but they were mostly content to just sit in silence.

~ ~ ~

“How exhausted are you?” Emily whispered, before giving her friend a spin.

Lydia chuckled, as she came back around and rested her hands on the woman’s shoulders. “Very. But don’t get me wrong, I would give anything for this day not to end.”

“I’m happy for you,” she said. “I can’t imagine a more perfect duo.”

Across the room, Spencer was dancing with his mom. As he caught Lydia’s eye, his smile deepened and he gave her a wink.

“He was so serious when we first met, I don’t think I could have ever imagined falling for someone like that.”

“Excuse me, ladies.” Lydia and Emily slowed their sway to look at Hotch and a very cute Jack, who was, as promised, dressed like Captain America, at his feet. “Might we cut in and dance with Dr. Ambers?”

Emily nodded, waving goodbye to Jack before stepping off the dance floor.

Lydia and Hotch each grabbed one of the tiny superhero’s hands, before resting the other arm over each other, like they normally would if they were dancing.

“I’m so glad you two could make it,” Lydia told the Hotchner’s. “Have you ever been to California before, Jack?”

He shook his head, his cheeks swelling with a grin.

“How fun! Are you guys going to see more of San Francisco before you leave tomorrow?”

“That’s the plan,” Hotch answered. “Hey, buddy, you wanna tell Dr. Ambers what you said to me about her dress?”

Lydia raised an eyebrow at the blond boy, who was beginning to blush. “It’s pretty.”

“Thank you, Jack! I think it’s really pretty, too.”

“Alright Jack, dad’s gonna talk to Dr. Ambers, so why don’t you sit with Ms. Garcia again.”

“Okay,” the boy said and let go of their hands. “Bye!”

“Good talk or bad talk?” Lydia asked once the boy was gone.

“Good,” he assured her. “I just haven’t gotten the chance to congratulate you in person. And you’ve already had a dance with Morgan, Garcia, and Prentiss, so I was feeling a bit jealous. So was Jack. He was asking about his turn to dance with you. I guess dancing with his dad isn’t as fun.”

“He’ll grow out of it,” Lydia promised. “But I happen to know you well enough to know that you’re lying to me, Hotch.”

“Lying?” His face was calm, as though he already knew what she was implying, but asked out of courtesy. 

“You did not send your son away so that you could congratulate me privately. You still haven’t told me why you wanted to talk.”

“An honorary profiler, through and through. Brilliant since the day we met.”

Lydia froze in her swaying movement. “Excessive complementing is not your style, Hotch. Is the Bureau firing me?”

This made him stop as well, his eyebrows knitting together. “And just when I was saying you were brilliant. No, the Bureau has nothing against your marriage. If that were the case, I would have warned you before the wedding.”

“I had thought that, too,” Lydia admitted. “But I was never sure if you or Garcia told the Bureau. Spencer says that when he reminded Garcia to put it on my record, she was acting strange.”

“I was unaware of that,” Hotch chuckled. “I shall have to check with Garcia myself.”

“So, if I’m not being fired, what is it?”

“I have somewhat of a favor to ask.”

“And that is?”

“With JJ’s promotion to the DoD, there’s a vacant spot on the team. Garcia is attempting to take on the responsibility of both a technical analyst and a liaison.”

Lydia couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “Are you asking me to leave my job at the university to become the liaison at the BAU? I have tenure, Hotch. Not to mention, no experience in public relations. I can understand that Garcia needs help, but I am-”

“I understand, but that’s not exactly where I was going with this. Garcia and I have already discussed splitting the role. The issue is that in order to take on the job of a media liaison, I won’t have much time at all to do field work. JJ had her credentials to work as a profiler, and yet she still rarely did crime scene investigations or actual profile building because she was needed elsewhere.”

“So, you need... a profiler?” Lydia stammered.

“We can discuss profiling later,” he assured her. “What I need is Dr. Ambers back. Full time. And this includes the office work again. Next time I call a briefing I need you to be in the bullpen, not at a university.”

Lydia involuntarily glanced at her new husband, who had made his way off the dance floor and was seated with Morgan. “Hotch, we were just discussing how the Bureau might not even know Spencer and I are married. Do you honestly think they’d be okay with making me an employee given my background?”

“I would like to remind you that I was a lawyer for a long time,” he joked. “I can hold an argument. But even so, your background just proves how irreplaceable you are, Lydia. No one could turn you away. But you’re right. I can’t offer tenure to you.”

A grin broke out across her face. “When do you need your answer?”

“One week.”

She nodded and stepped away. “Thank you for the dance, Hotch. I will consider your offer.”

“Thank you, Lydia.”

~ ~ ~

“I didn’t think it was possible to dance with every person at your wedding,” Sonia teased as she sat with Lydia outside the empty venue.

“I wish I had danced with everyone,” the bride argued. “It would excuse my exhaustion.”

“It’s a miracle you aren’t dead.”

“I can see it now: Danced to Death on Her Wedding Night.”

“What’s going on now?” Spencer asked as he stepped out beside them. “My parents just left. The only ones left are Beck, Katie, and Adam.”

“And they’re waiting on me,” Sonia reasoned. “Best be going.”

She pulled both of them into a tight hug before wandering back towards the front of the location.

“Do you need help standing up?” Spencer asked, seeing Lydia sway with exhaustion.

“Must I?”

He offered a hand to her, pulling her into him, despite his own aching feet. “Yes, you must. But think of it this way. The sooner we get going, the sooner you can pass out at the hotel.

She hummed in response. “...oh, there was something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“Which is?”

“What do you think of me being a profiler?” she mumbled.

“A-Are you serious?”

Lydia looked up, afraid of what she might see, but Spencer’s eyes betrayed no distress. “I don’t think many girls can say they were offered a full time position at the FBI at their wedding. Would you help me pass the classes?”

“Absolutely,” he responded, with no hesitation. “Of course.”

“Working together once more. What could go wrong?”

Tags: @kris-stuff​, @wooya1224​, @bispences​, @anotherr-fine-mess​, @eddysocs​

[realllllfangirllllll]

More Than Friends ||

Chp. 39

Masterlist

CEO!Jaehyun AU x Reader

College Student!Jaemin AU x Reader

Summary: After a complicated relationship with the infamous CEO, you want nothing more than to live your life as a normal college student; however, Mr. CEO just can’t let you go.

{ Previous / Next }

Jaehyun’s pov

I walked into Soyeon’s house and was greeted by one too many people. Mark, Lucas, and Johnny, all sat scattered throughout her living room and I unconsciously sighed.

“It’s great to see you too Mr. MIA,” Mark told me sarcastically.

Johnny then chimed in, “Yeah, why did you hole yourself up? You know we’re always here for you...”

“I was going to break into your house through that broken window,” Lucas said as he stood up and gave me an unexpectedly tight hug. He then pats my back firmly, “We missed you bro.”

You returned a tight smile, “Relax won’t you? Nothing’s wrong.”

Mark scoffed, “Really Yoonoh? We all know the losses you’ve been through. We want to help you so stop getting all tough on us.”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Johnny placed a hand on Mark’s shoulders, “Calm down there buddy, he’s going through a lot right now, the least we could do is be softer on him,” He then turned to me, “We’re here to help you, Jaehyun. Don’t back out on us, ok?”

I rolled my eyes, “Fine, I was coming in here to ask for Soyeon’s help anyways.”

The three men looked at you with odd expressions and spoke in unison, “Why Soyeon?”

“I’m standing right here you know,” Soyeon crossed her arm and glared at them.

I then burst out into laughter. I missed having company. I was stupid to turn away from my friends who gave me comfort and trust. “Fuck, I missed you guys,” I suddenly confessed as they all looked at me like I was psychotic. “What?”

Lucas laughed out, “I know we said to put the tough act away, but you didn’t have to turn into such a soft teddy bear.”

“Ok that’s it I’m leaving.”

“Wait! I’m just joking man. Come on, don’t be such a grizzly bear,” he looked at me with a big smirk plastered on his face.

I plopped down on the couch and glared at the Chinese man, “Say that again and you won’t be able to speak ever again.”

As the two of us were about to start bickering, Soyeon clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Ok little boys, shut up. We all came here to continue pursuing ‘Operation Love’ so if all of you can listen to me and stop acting like kindergarteners, that’ll be fantastic.”

I laughed, “‘Operation Love’? You really do take after Lucas quite quickly.”

Lucas smirked proudly as Soyeon rolled her eyes. “Ok let’s firs-”

Mark cut her off, confusion written all over his face. “Since when were you in charge of ‘Operation Love’? I thought you were a dumb hoe.”

“I will murder you bitch.”

Amused at their bickering, I explained, “Actually, Soyeon has been the biggest contribution to,” I rolled my eyes, “‘Operation Love’ since day one.”

Everyone looked at me with their mouths wide open as Soyeon beamed proudly, “Mhm, Jaehyun’s one hundred percent correct. If it weren’t for me they wouldn’t start fucking again.”

I raised my eyebrows at her as Mark told me, “See? This is why you should never compliment her. She’s a dumb, thirsty hoe.”

She rolled her eyes at Mark’s words and continued, “Listen bitch, I knew I was wrong to set Jaemin up with y/n when she still had a thing for Jaemin. Plus, you threatened me so I decided to set things right again. I so happened to have a friend who knows where Jaehyun lives so I bought the house across from him to get the operation in motion. I called y/n over to my house and told her I ‘forgot’ I had classes to get to and BOOM I called Jaehyun out and they met again and then,” she started putting her index finger through the circle she made with her other hand as Mark and I rolled our eyes.

Lucas then said cockily, “But, I was the GOAT. If I didn’t come to pick y/n up and left her at my apartment which I told Jaehyun to go to, they would have never,” he started to mimic Soyeon’s motions and at this point, we were all rolling our eyes at their dramatic explanation.

Soyeon sat down on Lucas’ lap and said, “Don’t forget, I purposely signed y/n up for the internship so we could bring the operation all the way to home base. She smiled proudly and gave Lucas a kiss, “But still, my hero did such a great job.”

Johnny and Mark made gagging gestures and I chuckled. Damn it’s great to have my friends with me again.

I leaned forward and clasped my hands together, “Alright enough with the trips down memory lane. I really need to find y/n, immediately.”

“Do you not check your phone or what?” Soyeon asked.

I chuckled to myself and slightly shook my head, “I would if I had one.”

“What do you mean?”

“I threw it out my window...”

Mark suddenly commented with sarcasm, “Damn, you rich people are something else.”

Lucas then clapped his hands like a seal, laughing, “Ohh that’s why there was a big ass hole in your window.”

I rolled my eyes at the two guys and continued, “So are any of you guys going to help me out, or are you just going to make fun of me?”

Everyone went silent. I glared at them as their silence started to get on my nerves. “Are you guys serious right now?”

Johnny spoke out for the rest of them. He scratched the back of his neck as he said with hesitation, “Look man, there’s one thing you gotta know before you start chasing after her again. Y/n’s brother is extremely protective of her. Right now she’s in Paris with him and we don’t think it’d be a good idea for you to go there...”

I stared at him with both confusion and anger, “What the fuck. Why?”

Mark shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat, “If any of you guys tell y/n, I’ll kill you. But her ex, Jack, went through hell after he cheated on her, and it was all because of Xiaojun. He exposed him to literally everyone he knew. Family, coworkers, neighbors, you name it, he exposed it. Of course, he kept this a secret from her, but it was terrible man... The girl he was with left him immediately after his family found out and shunned them. He was trying to find a stable place to live after getting kicked out by his parents.”

A course of sighs can be heard around the living room. I ran my hand through my messy hair, trying to find a way I can be with her again. Frustrated, I told them, “Why do I have to care? I’m not that cheating jackass. I would never do something as terrible as to cheat on her.”

Soyeon gave me a skeptical look and asked, “But if it weren’t for you, would that Emily bitch go all out to sabotage y/n?”

I shouted out in frustration and anger, “The fuck am I supposed to know that bitch would have so much time on her hands to pull shit like that?”

With a sympathetic look on her face, she replied, “Don’t worry, we all know you did nothing wrong. We’re all on your side and support this relationship, but after things got messy with Jack, Xiaojun got even more uptight with other guys entering her life. Plus, we don’t know how much he knows about your relationship with her.”

Mark assured, “Don’t worry man, she didn’t even tell him about dating you so he most likely wouldn’t know about what you guys did before that.”

With sarcasm dripping out of my voice, I said, “Great. That makes me feel so much more at ease.”

Just then, our conversation was interrupted when Soyeon’s phone rang. She went to the kitchen to answer it and seconds later, she came rushing back with concern written all over her face. She handed the phone to me and whispered, “It’s him. He wants to talk to you.”

Unconsciously, I sat up a little straighter and answered the call, bracing myself for what’s to come.

———

• Curious question: Is anyone from Denmark? I’ve been wanting to go but I don’t really know much about it so if someone could tell me what it’s like there that’d be great~ •

[nat-roman0ff]

i. tuesday

a series of blurbs // a certain time and place

 i. tuesday

the one where they eat too much pizza, and swallow their feelings.

wc: 1,893

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, bad writing, feasting.

------------------------

It’s quarter past seven when she finally gets to relax. It’s Tuesday, and Tuesdays at work always meant her boss screaming about something, pissy clients, and her snotty coworker making comments about whatever it goddamn was that she hated her for this week. The glimmer of Monday has worn off and it’s back to the same old, same old.

 Tuesdays weren’t always terrible, though. It’s warm and breezy today and the birds are chirping loud and high in the sky. There’s a distinct smell of summer in the air; it’s just on the cusp, as noted by the line of sweat collecting at her hairline as she tredges home. This Tuesday in particular, however, was exceptionally not terrible. Her sort of best friend, part time couch surfer (even though he had his own place), and sometimes lover, was home for a blip of time between his “rockstar” (even though he hated the word) lifestyle and normal life.

 Shawn’s an anomaly, she thinks. He’s a little bit of everything all mixed into one neurotic, passionate, sometimes self destructive mess of a boy. But whatever it is that he is to her, he’s a good one. That much she does know.

She’s practically limping by the time she reaches the front door of her apartment, cursing herself for deciding today was the day to break in new shoes. Her phone pings from her back pocket and it’s Shawn; be there in a few! He writes. She doesn’t bother to text back because if she doesn’t get these ever loving shoes off within the next five seconds, and a piece of pizza down her throat she might just burst.

 After changing from work clothes to something more comfortable, she settles on the couch with the box of pizza. She sighs a breath of relief when the first waft of pepperoni hits her nose, and grins sheepishly.

 “Honey, I’m home!” Shawn bursts through the door without so much as knocking.

 “Yo,” she deadpans, half a slice hanging out of her mouth.

 Shawn jumps over the back of the couch onto the empty cushion beside his girl, “how’s your Tuesday?”

 “Better, now that you’re here.”

 “Aw, shucks,” Shawn sighs, putting his head on her shoulder.

 She rolls her eyes, “I was talking to the pizza.”

 “In that case,” he plucks the remaining slice in her hand out and shoves it whole in his mouth, “delicious,” he mumbles through chews.

 “You’re an animal,” she mutters.

 “Only for you, baby,” he says, a string of mozzarella hanging on his chin.

 Her heart skips at the line. Baby; it quite literally means nothing in the context, but how she so fucking wished it meant more. She’s in love with him (of course). Believe it or not, the Shawn Mendes isn’t actually everyone’s cup of tea. Once you get past the great hair and sharp jawline and impossibly good smile he’s rather, well, weird. You can never really figure him out and she supposes that’s what brought the two of them together in the first place.

 When people ask how they met, neither of them can ever quite put their finger on it. She’d started seeing him at outings with friends of friends of friends. He was always there but never within reach. She knew who he was and what he did and it never really phased her, he was just always that dude she saw at the bar sometimes at whoever’s friend’s best friend’s boyfriend’s birthday party.

 It hadn’t been until a Halloween party about two years ago that left the two of them soberly stranded in a sea of plastered people in horribly unoriginal costumes. He was dressed as Julius Caesar (a giant homemade cardboard salad dressing bottle with a wreath crown on his head) and she was dressed as Cereal Killer. For all inquiring minds, yes it was just as dumb as it sounds.

 “Whatcha thinking about?” He interrupts, already finished with his second slice of pizza.

 “Nothing,” she says, shaking her head, “nothing except you better split this pizza with me evenly this time, Jackass.”

 Shawn scoffs, “I have been wasting away performing every night, I deserve at least two-thirds of this pizza.”

 He pays attention to the way she rolls her eyes at him. His chest warms; it’s such a simple, bratty, cynical act coming from her but somehow it’s theirs. He says something ridiculous and she just rolls those beautiful damn eyes and the outside world just ceases to exist for a tiny moment. Head over heels might be an understatement, and a cheesy one at that. He’s an entire goddamn mess for this girl.

 Shawn leans over and pecks a quick kiss on her cheek.

 “Ugh,” she groans, feigning disgust, “you got pizza grease on me.”

 He shrugs.

 “What was that for anyways?” She asks.

 Shawn shrugs again, “missed you, I guess. It’s been too long. Keep telling you that you need to come out on tour with me -”

 There’s a disconnect in his voice. He’s looking at her but not at her. His eyes scan every part of her face except her eyes. Shawn has issues feeling vulnerable. Which is rich coming from someone who performs in front of thousands of strangers nightly. But it’s different with her. He’s never been so terrified of a single person in his life, even after the time Eric Williams whooped his ass in the third grade.

 “Oh yes because I’m sure my boss would just love me taking off months at a time. And unpaid? What a dream! Let me send her my resignation email right now!” She quips sarcastically.

 The heat in Shawn’s chest cools a little as he settles back into reality. She’s here and you’re there and that’s the only way it’s ever going to be, he reminds himself.

 “But you hate your job!” He whines, “Just quit, we’ll find something for you to do on tour.”

 She groans, “and what am I supposed to do the rest of the time? Sit around and watch you get baked and play guitar?”

 “I can think of something,” Shawn raises an eyebrow and she knows what’s coming.

 In a swift move the pizza box is on the floor and he’s got her pinned underneath him, “Kiss me.”

 It’s barely a whisper and she knows how this ends every time. Every time they kiss or fool around or fuck or wake up in each other’s arms she hopes it’s different this time. That this time is the time he’ll feel that spark she feels every time he touches her skin.

 It’s a different feeling for him. It’s less of a spark and more of a flutter; a familiar nervousness in his belly that makes the unknown comforting, but the uncertainty of not knowing terrifying. Does that make sense? His head is such a chaotic string of everything and nothing at the same time with her and he doesn’t know what is up or down when he’s around her, all that he knows is he’s safe. The nerocies stay at bay just long enough to maybe believe she loves him back.

 “Now why would you go around wanting something like that?” She replies, cupping his cheek, running her thumb over the divet where a tiny scar etches into his skin.

 I want you, he thinks.

 “Horny, been a while,” he fumbles. It’s the same way out every time. Say something stupid but sarcastically enough that she knows you’re joking. It saves from having to admit to anything while simultaneously hinting that he wants to spend the whole night soaking her in.

 She rolls her eyes and Shawn’s chest starts to tingle, “you’re disgusting,” she grumbles, pushing on his chest, “and I have a pizza to finish.”

 “While I have total faith that you can finish that whole pizza yourself, do you remember what happened the last time you did that?” He tuts, sitting back up and letting her curl back into a ball on the other end of the couch.

 She shoves half the slice in her mouth, “you know, I was really thinking of adding additional assault to my insides by washing this down with a milkshake. You down?”

 He props his chin on his fist and tilts his head to the side, “I love when you talk bowel movements with me.”

 She boops the tip of his nose as the first drop of rain pangs against the living room window. There’s a rush of wind and then out of nowhere the sky just opens and it’s coming down in sheets onto the streets below them. The wind brings in a cool lick of humidity into the air. Shawn lets out a dramatic sigh and sprawls himself across her legs, resting his head in her lap.

 “Looks like I’m staying here tonight. I’ll probably need to borrow one of your shirts to sleep in,” he jokes, stroking her side, his fingertips grazing the hem of her tee shirt.

 “Just don’t stretch it out in the tits.”

 Shawn laughs, his face scrunched, “you’re ridiculous.”

 He mindlessly kisses her bare thigh, not realizing just how far her pajama shorts have ridden up.

 “I’m ridiculous? You own your own condo yet I can’t seem to ever get you out of my apartment. Do you ever actually sleep there?”

 “Sometimes,” he mumbles between kisses, “just prefer it here I suppose.”

 She stops chewing for a second, “it’s a 400 square foot walk up. You live in a luxury building. The roof has a damn pool for crying out loud.”

 “Don’t forget the fire pits and dog washing station,” he reminds, and she can feel his lips smirking against her skin.

 She flicks his ear, “maybe you should start spending more time in your own place.”

 Shawn pauses, “like...not together?”

 “Of course, together but...I don’t know. What do you like about here so much that you can’t get there?”

 You, he thinks.

 “I dunno,” he looks around desperate for anything to stick out. His heart races and he can feel that familiar anxious itch starting to burn his skin when he’s on the verge of saying too much.

 “This wall,” he points to the far wall across the room behind her bed, “I like the color of that wall.  Everything in my place is all white. Need some liveliness and color and whatnot.”

  She doesn’t buy it, “well Shawn, I’m really excited to introduce you to something called a Hardware Store. You can buy all the paint colors you want.”

 Shawn perks his head up, “will you help me do that?” He asks, tracing words he’ll never say out loud into her skin with the tips of his fingers.

 She swears she’s writes ‘I love you’ three times into her skin before she responds, “of course.”

 He nods and rests his head back onto her lap. Shawn’s eyes close when she threads her fingers through his hair. This is home, he thinks.

 She screams ‘I love you’ three times in her head so loudly it almost threatens to bubble out between her lips. It’s a loud thought, and she wonders if she shouts it loud enough through her head if maybe one day he’ll listen.

 She thinks someday, someday with a few hundred maybes thrown in she’ll be brave enough to say it out loud. But that day isn’t Tuesday.

------------------------

hiiii hi hello! this is my first time writing shawn, i have about 8 years worth of terrible one direction fanfiction behind me so i thought why not start something new!

please let me know what you think! i’ve started it as sort of a blurb series with more to come, you can check all the upcoming titles on my masterlist! (linked on the sidebar).

[leighbot]

Hi, hello. I'm looking at these prompts and I really like the sound of 4. if you'd want to give it a try?

this got far too long, i’m sorry, so i wrapped it up quickly! it felt never ending lol. thank you babe!

04.  I’m tired of my friends/family setting me up on horrible blind dates so I made up a relationship and now they want to meet this mystery person

What does Zayn need an alarm for when he has someone banging on his door so loudly they must be using the palm of their hands to recreate some otherworldly drum beat?

“Fucking stop it,” he calls out as he rolls off the sofa, landing on his hands and knees and praying for his head to stop spinning. The fourth shot last night had been a miscalculation and the sixth had been a huge mistake. “I will pay you to stop,” he says as the knocking continues.

Rhino is losing his mind, pacing in front of the door with a stuffed toy in his mouth and his tail whacking a thudthudthud against the hardwood floors.

He finally gets to his feet and opens the door to his flat, not bothering to check if it’s a murderer because only one person in the whole entire world would ever act so obnoxiously the day after Zayn’s birthday. Only Harry Styles knows he can pout his way back into Zayn’s good graces after this stunt.

Harry breezes into his flat, tossing his hipster hat and scarf on Zayn’s kitchen table with a pat to Rhino’s head. Why he bothered to put on a scarf when he lives four doors down is a mystery. “Finally,” he says, his voice low and quick with exasperation and far, far too loud for the way Zayn feels.

“I think I’m still drunk from last night,” Zayn says, dragging his feet across the room and pulling a water bottle from the fridge. He tosses Rhino a treat from the bowl on the worktop. Harry’s making himself at home in the main sitting area, flipping through Zayn’s records like he’s on a mission. “Did I steal one of yours, or something?” Zayn asks, shuffling back to the sofa. He gets shocked twice when he sits and he chugs half of the bottle in his hand in one go.

“What?” Harry asks, voice still entirely too loud. He looks to the four records he’s already got in his hand. “Oh, no, just looking. Anyway, I came here to ask you a favour.”

“Hell of an entrance if you want to be on my good side,” Zayn comments. Harry smiles at him with just the right amount of dimple in it and he starts crawling across the floor. “Oh, leave me alone,” Zayn bitches though he’s already smiling by the time Harry is climbing onto his lap like an oversized dog. He’s worse than Rhino, who has passed out again in his dog bed.

“Did I hurt your head?” Harry asks, nuzzling into his neck. “I’m sorry, maybe I’d know how you felt if you’d invited me out.”

Zayn snorts and pushes Harry away, letting him fall onto the sofa next to him. For all that Harry’s made himself at home in Zayn’s flat this morning, they’ve only met a few weeks ago when Harry had moved into the building. It’s quite astonishing, actually, that Zayn’s grown so comfortable with him this quickly but he reckons Harry is just like that.

“What kind of favour do you want?”

Harry frowns and fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “Ineedyoutobemyboyfriend.”

Even sober, Zayn doesn’t think he could understand that. “Once again,” he prompts.

“I need you to be my boyfriend,” Harry says in his usual slow drawl. Zayn can feel his eyebrows shoot straight into his hairline and Harry must see the look on his face because he flushes. “I… well…”

“Shouldn’t you, like, ask me out first?” Zayn says, trying to find reason in this conversation.

Harry’s eyebrows furrow close to touching in confusion, like he isn’t the one responsible for their current predicament.

Zayn tries to clarify. “Boyfriend is kind of… a third date conversation.”

Understanding floods Harry’s eyes like a sunrise. “Oh, shit. Oh, sorry, no. Nononono, I mean. Okay, so my mum’s always on my case about dating and she’s roped my friends into setting me up so I, well, I told her I’m seeing someone and you’re… someone.”

“I am someone,” Zayn says, agreeing on instinct. “Why me?”

“You don’t know how involved in my life my mum is; she knows everything about me. She knows every one of my friends, most of my coworkers. Half of my graduating class sent her thank you notes for gifts she gave them. You’re new, she didn’t know you yet.”

Zayn rolls his eyes and finishes his water bottle. “So, how did this happen?”

“Well, I don’t love lying to my mum,” Harry admits, getting off the sofa and going to mess with Rhino. “I had been telling her I was seeing someone and she didn’t need too many details at first but she started calling my old flatmate and asking him so I just… I gave her your name.”

“When?” Zayn asks, suddenly amused. He didn’t think Harry was a cure for a hangover but he’s barely feeling the pressure in his head anymore. He smashes the bottle and gives it to Rhino when the dog leaves Harry behind to chase the crinkle sound he’d made.

Harry makes a face and Zayn’s amusement grows.

“When did you tell your mum I’m your boyfriend, Haz?”

“The day after I moved in,” Harry admits sulkily.

Zayn doesn’t hold his laughter in. “Why are you telling me this all of a sudden?”

“Well, mum’s coming in for my birthday and she wants to have dinner with my boyfriend.”

Zayn laughs too hard to continue talking and Harry’s pouting face keeps him from catching his breath fully for a long, long time.

~*~

~*~

“I’m not saying this is a dumb idea,” Zayn says and Harry cuts him off.

“Then don’t say it.”

Zayn nudges him, hitting right in the spot that he knows is Harry’s most ticklish point, and Harry smacks him back. They push back-and-forth like children wrestling and it’s then, of course, that Anne walks up and finds them.

“Should I be concerned that you’re abusing your boyfriend, love?”

Zayn’s spoken on the phone and through FaceTime a few times so he pulls her into the first hug and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “Haz couldn’t hurt a fly,” he says.

“Hiya, dear, you alright?” she asks, kissing him back and squeezing him tight. She’s such a mum it makes him instantly homesick and he lets her hold on for an extra few seconds before allowing Harry to push his way through.

“Mine,” Harry says possessively, wrapping Anne in both his arms and lifting her from the floor. “Hiya, mummy.”

“Hi, babe,” she says, linking their arms together once he releases her. “You hungry? I’m starved.”

“We’ve got lunch setup back at my place,” Zayn says. “Did you want to go somewhere, though?”

“No, darling, that sounds great. You driving?”

Harry laughs, snorting into her shoulder. “Zayn doesn’t drive.”

“I hated it myself until I had two little ones to lug around,” Anne says, patting Zayn’s arm gently. “You two will figure that out at your own pace, though.”

“We’ve not even been here two minutes and you’re already talking about babies.”

Zayn rolls his eyes. Harry talks about babies almost daily. Zayn knows every name he’s ever considered for a daughter and could narrow Harry’s top three for a son without even trying. He’s braided Harry’s curls while listening to him talk about his five year plan and year four, day thirty-seven, hour nine involves beginning the process for adoption because Harry’s heart is too large to not take in children who need homes and support.

Zayn climbs into the backseat, insisting Anne take the front. “I’m safer back here, anyway,” he jokes, sprawling across the back.

“I’m getting better,” Harry insists. “No accidents so far this year.”

“Well, it’s only February so that isn’t saying much.”

~*~

~*~

Rhino loves Anne, of course, flirting with her with his still-puppy growls and bringing her several toys to choose from before waiting patiently for her to toss them. 

“It’s so nice that you found a place so close to your beau,” Anne says, halfway through her salad. “Was it too soon for you two to just live together?”

“A bit, mum,” Harry says. “We’ve only been dating a bit.”

“I know, I know. You’ve always fallen fast, though, and I can see how well you two get on.”

“Zayn likes me still because he doesn’t have to clean up after me,” Harry teases and Anne and Zayn both laugh.

“How does your family like my boy?”

“Oh,” Zayn says, unable to contain his exhale. He’s prepped for this fake-boyfriend role a bit but he hasn’t really thought about answering this one. “They haven’t met, yet.”

“I get to be the first,” she says with excitement. “I’d love to get to know your parents, Zayn. Have your mum give me a call sometime.”

Zayn nods, his cheeks heated. “Of course.”

Harry frowns at him from across the table and Zayn pulls a face to help lift the tension.

“I’m sorry,” Anne says, not fooled for a moment. “I didn’t mean to make this weird. I’m just excited you two are happy exactly as you are. Not saying anything else about it.”

Zayn leans to his left and presses a kiss to Anne’s cheek. “All is good, love. Do you want more water? We’ve got some wine too.”

“Oh, I’d love some wine. You drinking?”

“Zayn’s still hungover from his birthday a couple weeks ago,” Harry says, his eyes wide once he’s finished talking. He mouths I’m sorry as Zayn stands up and Zayn pauses, confused.

“I missed your birthday?” Anne asks, her tone sharp with shock.

“Mum, it isn’t missing a birthday if you didn’t know him yet.”

“And who’s fault is that? You and your secrets, Harry. Oh, Zayn, let’s skip the lunch wine and let’s go do something for your birthday.”

Zayn smiles, overwhelmed with fondness. “We don’t need to,” he says. “I want this to be about Harry. He’s the birthday boy this weekend.”

He scuttles into his kitchen, five whole heartbeats away from the dining room table. “I love your mum,” he tells Harry in what he hopes is a whisper when Harry follows him. 

“You sure? You look spooked.” Harry pulls him into a hug, pressing his lips to Zayn’s hair.

Zayn shrugs and smiles. “Just homesick. Gonna make you return the favour for my parents now.”

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers easily. “I’d love to meet your parents.”

[hockey-baseball-writes-blog]

Baby Aston-Reese

So I’m super nervous about posting this as it is my first fic I’ve ever written. I started off with Zar because I love him very much and it was just easier to write for him. I hope you like this. Please feel free to leave constructive criticism as I always want to improve my writing. Again I hope you like it! -E

Mentions: Zach Aston-Reese

Warnings: None, maybe a cuss word?

Word Count: 1,119

“So Y/N, are you excited about the wedding?” your coworker, Jamie, asked you.

“Not nearly as excited as getting to meet Lily,” you replied, smiling, as you rubbed your swollen belly.  

“Isn’t she due in a few weeks?” your charge nurse, Bridget asked.

“Two weeks, but it seems like forever, I already love her more than anything, but I’m ready to be able to sleep without feeling like I’m going to wet the bed.” you joked.

“How is Zach?” Bridget asked.

“Good, as long as he stays healthy.” you sighed, looking up at the T.V. which was currently showing the pregame for the Penguins vs. the Flyers game.

You suddenly grimaced, grabbing your back.

“Y/N are you okay?” Jamie asked, noticing your sudden change in demeanor.

“Yeah, just Braxton Hicks, nothing too major.” looking up at the T.V.

Suddenly feeling wet between your legs, you look down to see a small patch of clear liquid forming on your scrub pants.

“Are you sure about that Y/N?” Jamie laughs, quickly realizing what was happening.

“Of course she couldn’t wait until Zach was done playing.” you laughed, trying to not grimace again from the pain.

————-

“When do you want to call Zach?” your best friend, Kathy asked.

“Not until I get closer to giving birth.” you said, “Plus there’s no way I want Zach to miss the game this close to the playoffs.

"Y/N, you know Zach will be upset if he misses anything,” Kathy responded.

“And I’ll be upset if he misses the game, I might not even give birth tonight anyway,” you responded by throwing your hands up at the T.V. showing your displeasure at the call on the ice.

Kathy laughed, as Bridget came in to check on you and to see how dilated you were.

“Well Y/N, you are at seven cm, you might want to call Zach,” she said glancing up at the screen.

Kathy stood up, stretching her legs, “How about I go down to your car and grab your hospital bag and call Dana to get Zach off the ice. They are about ready to start the second intermission, and it won’t take long for Zach to get here."

"Kathy, don’t call Zach, please.” you practically yell as she’s walking out of the doorway.

She turns around smiling, “Fine, I’m not going to argue with the pregnant nurse.” she winked towards Bridget, putting her hands up in surrender.

—————-

“Y/N, I wouldn’t say anything but, you need to call Zach,” Bridget says, pulling her gloves off, “You are at eight cm, you should know better than anyone how quickly you can go from eight cm to ten cm."

Kathy looked at you pulling out her phone.

"FINE! Go ahead and call Dana, and pull Zach off the ice, I don’t want to hear the complaining from fans because it’s your fault Kathy!” you yell, just as another contraction blindsided you.

“Y/N, no one will be upset that Zach is leaving the game early because his fiancé had his baby.” Kathy replied walking back into the room, “Dana should be talking to Sully now to get Zach on his way here."

You both looked up at the T.V.  as the commentators were confused by the sudden timeout called by the Penguins.

"It seems as the Penguins just burned their timeout.”

“I don’t know why they would do this so early into the third period.”

“Well, it looks like they are changing their second line as Aston-Reese is heading down into the tunnel.”

“Okay Y/N, you are at nine cm.” your OGBYN, Dr. Smith, said while smiling brightly, “Almost time to start pushing.”

You looked at Kathy with a horrified look on your face.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?”

With tears threatening to spill over, “I can’t start pushing without Zach. I won’t. I refuse."

Kathy rolled her eyes, "Y/N, she said it’s almost time to start, not that you have to start right this second.”

You just nodded, not knowing what to say. Your crazy mood swings are something that you wouldn’t miss, along with the morning sickness and the weird cravings.

“Lily, please wait a little bit longer for daddy to get here okay?” you pleaded.

Another contraction hit, prompting Dr. Smith to recheck your dilation.

“Y/N, as soon as you feel the urge to push, I need you to push.” Dr. Smith instructed.

“Kathy, please call Zach and see where he is, and put him on speaker” suddenly angry that he wasn’t there with you.

Kathy pulled out her phone quickly dialing Zach as not to upset you even more than you already were.

“Hello?” you heard Zach’s voice ring through the phone.

“Zachary Aston-Reese, if you aren’t in this hospital room within the next five minutes I swear, you will be sleeping on the couch for the next three years.” you spat out, grabbing the side of the hospital bed so hard your knuckles started to turn white.

“I’m at the hospital right now. What room are you in?” Zach asked as calmly as he could.

“219” Kathy replied quickly as your focus had turned back to the game.

“Oh come on! You are joking, that was clearly goalie interference.” you cried.

“Is she seriously watching the game right now?” Zach laughed. “Only my fiancée.”

“Yes, she is. She wouldn’t let me call you when she was dilated to seven cm because she didn’t want you to miss any of the game so close to the playoffs.” Kathy replied, shooting you a sideways glance.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Zach asked rushing through the door, still suited up in his gear.

“Oh just peachy, Zachary. It’s not like there is a human being trying to push her way out of my vagina or anything.” you snapped.

Zach smiled sheepishly, “You’re right, dumb question."

"Okay Y/N, since Zach finally decided to grace us with his presence, smell and all,  I’m going to need you to push.” Dr. Smith said with a smile.

After a few hard pushes and a whole lot of not so baby friendly words, you were welcomed with the cries from your new baby girl.

“She’s beautiful, just like her momma,” Zach whispered as Lily was placed into your arms.

After about ten minutes, you and Zach turned as there was a knock at the door.

Kathy, smiling, asked if you were up for visitors because as she put it “There is a waiting room full of smelly hockey players who wanted to see Lily. Oh, and the other families were starting to get upset."

You and Zach just laughed and looked at Lily, who was peacefully sleeping in the bassinet next to the bed.

"Of course,” you replied with a smile.

Again I hope you like this! Send in requests as I’m very excited to start writing! -E

[artificialqueens]

Crazy, stupid, sudden (Craquaria) Part 2 - Catrina

A/N: This was gonna be only a one shot bc I didn’t know if you would like it, but you asked, and I delivered. I had so much fun writing this, I hope you like it as much as I did. Some things: 1. Thanks @likeuranus for giving me ideas and opinions, ily! 2. I used Miz as Cracker’s name in the first part bc I was confused about it (for the anon who said it was like calling Miss Fame ‘Miss’) 3. I didn’t expect you would like it so much! PLEASE REMEMBER TO send some feedback if you liked this part and make me know if you want a third part? 4. Would you be insterested if I do a kind of “side chapter” where I explain Sharon and Alaska’s story better? Make me know at @the-glitter-skeleton and feel free to talk to me lmao I need friends <3 That’s it, enjoy.

Miz is going crazy. She just can’t understand —even when Monet tells her there’s nothing to understand— and her stubborn mind isn’t helping at all.

“So, in summary, you have a crush” her friend says, turning to her locker.

“I do” Miz sighs tiredly, leaning her back on the locker next to Monet’s. “And I don’t know how to get close to her”

“You drool over her since last year, didn’t you have enough time to plan shit like that?” she mocks, changing books into her bag.

Miz opens her mouth indignantly, ready to argue. “I don't—”

Monet closes the door of her locker suddenly, looking at her friend with a raised brow. “Christmas party, five months ago; you, Blair and I were outside the theater when certain girl with aquatic name walked by. ’She’s the prettiest thing I’ve seen around here’ quote by you”

Miz knows she’s defeated when her cheeks burn with embarrassment. “Smart bitch” she whispers as she rolls her eyes. “Are you helping me or what?”

“Brianna, I wasted my time investigating the bus route on Monday for you. After that anything is easy” Monet giggles when they start walking to their first class. “At least you took the chance when you saw her in the bus; she knows you now. And driving her to school was a good start, you got to see her everyday. That’s something”

“But out of my car we don’t talk at all! The longest conversation we had was about weather. Every time we get here she just thanks the ride and goes away” Miz pouts. “And don’t call me Brianna, only my mom calls me that”

“Whatever, Miz” she remarks ironically. “What I’m going to is that you can go closer easily now”

“But how?”

Monet stays silent until they sit at the back of the classroom. The teacher doesn’t arrive yet, and everyone is too busy chatting to care about it. She looks at Miz with a concerned look that makes her friend know she’s focused. She smiles when an idea comes to her mind, tapping on Miz’s arm to get her attention.

“You have to ask her out!”

-

Fridays are boring. But when Aquaria thinks of it, she realizes everyday is boring. The only interesting part of her days seems to be the way to school and home, when the sees Miz.

But then, everything goes down.

She doesn’t know what’s happening. It’s out of control her every time she combs her hair a little better hoping Miz notices it, or every time she sneaks to Sharon’s room to steal her perfume because it smells better than hers.

It becomes stronger when she looks at her and she can’t help but smiling like a maniac. She knows the feeling, she isn’t dumb; she knows perfectly it’s something she can’t bury. The word love burns into her brain like acid.

Aquaria doesn’t like that word. It’s tough and merciless. She saw the perfect prove with her own moms; destroyed after giving everything they had. Even when Sharon mentions how happy she is now and Alaska assures she’s better alone, she knows Sharon still conserves pictures of her wedding in a box under her bed and Alaska prefers going on business trips so she doesn’t have to be in her huge house that used to be filled with Sharon’s voice.

She doesn’t want that. Miz is nice, funny, special. She’s everything Aquaria has ever wanted and she’s too scared to go for.

It’s useless. She closes her eyes and tries to throw every single idea that has been around her mind this morning away. Her eyes are on the table, quietly chewing on the bread with dry cheese and too much ham of her daily sandwich when a noise makes her lift her head suddenly. It just takes Miz a second to sit by her, looking directly at her soul with those gorgeous big eyes of hers.

“Hey” she smiles. “Mind if I stay here?”

Aquaria almost chokes on the bread as she swallows as fast as she can to answer. “It’s fine” she manages to say, receiving a smile from Miz.

For a moment, they don’t do anything more than eat silently.

“What are you doing tonight?” Miz asks suddenly, her eyes on her food over her plate as she carelessly stings it with a fork.

The question surprises Aquaria. She thinks for a second; she hasn’t anything planned, maybe watching a movie and make dinner for Sharon when she arrives from work, but nothing else. What could she do, anyways? With no friends at all, her nights are just as boring as mornings, but she doesn’t wanna Miz to know that.

“I don’t know” she replies, keeping herself from asking why. “No plans yet, I guess”

“Wanna go out with me?” she asks simply. So fucking simply Aquaria can’t understand why it makes her heartbeats increase.

She can’t think of an answer. She knows she should say no, but Miz is looking at her and the idea seems so irresistible she just can curl the corners of her lips into a little smile and nod. “Yeah”

It’s just going out, she comforts herself, ignoring the huge warning signal in her mind. That isn’t gonna hurt anybody.

“We have a date then!” Miz’s eyes shine.

-

Aquaria is finally at home, nervously walking in a circle on the living room. After taking her home, Miz said she would pick her up at seven before she started the car again and drove until it disappeared of Aquaria’s sight.

She takes her phone and goes to do the first thing she knows she should have done before, dialing the number of Sharon’s office as she throws herself to the couch.

“Good afternoon, you’re calling to the office of doctor Sharon Needles. What can I do for you?” a voice sounds at the other line of the phone.

“Hey Max” she replies with a smile. Her mom’s secretary is nice and always sends Aquaria cookies in Christmas, which of course was an easy way to gain her boss’ daughter’s heart. “Is my mom there?”

“Aqua! It’s good to hear you” Aquaria can swear she’s smiling even when she can’t see her. “And sorry darling, your mom is going to a meeting right now. Something you want me to tell her?”

“Yeah. Just tell her I’m going out with… a friend at seven. I’ll be back early and I’m taking my phone if she wants to call me”

There’s a puse before Max talks again. “Alright sweetheart. As soon as I see her I’ll tell her”

“Okay, thanks Max” Aquaria giggles before hanging up.

-

Hours after, Aquaria is still on the couch, watching a boring cooking show she found changing channels with no order. It’s the best way she has to entretain herself a little, even when the meat the old lady is cooking looks gross. It’s way too much salt, Aquaria thinks as she sighs.

Suddenly, the main door opens, revealing Sharon’s figure in the frame. Aquaria jumps in her spot, looking at her in surprise.

“Mom? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” she asks, sitting sitraght.

“I am, but when Max told me you called I had to run here. My baby has a date!” Sharon snaps cheerfully, closing the door and dropping her purse in the other couch to sit next to her daughter. Her smile is the brightest Aquaria has seen in years, and she can’t help but smiling too.

“You left work… for me?” is all she can ask, incredulous.

“Honey, I’d leave that hellhole for you anytime” Sharon assures.

Aquaria knows it’s true when she remembers Sharon dropping the chance to head a stomach surgery in the middle of the morning because she went to Aquaria’s ballet festival to see her perform. Work is her worst addiction, but her love for Aquaria is way stronger.

“Now, are you gonna tell me who is this nice person who asked you out?” the woman talks again, kicking her heels out so she can fold her legs under her on the couch.

Pathetically or gracefully —depends of Aquaria’s mood— Sharon is her best friend. The few hours she gets to see her are to talk about anything, from homework to annoying coworkers, but she didn’t tell her about Miz because the fear was bigger than the confusion and Aquaria couldn’t organize her mind.

But curling her body against Sharon’s, she sighs and decides to shut her mind down for a second. Just for a second.

“Her name is Miz Cracker, I met her days ago. She’s super nice and gentle—”

“Miz is such a weird name” Sharon comments.

“I know, her real name is Brianna, but she doesn’t like it”

“Oh, that’s cool. And you like her?”

The direct question is like a thrown arrow, going right to Aquaria’s chest. Closing her eyes, she purses her lips, looking for an answer. Love, being a group of negative things in her life, is also an untouched topic with Sharon. That makes it even worse.

“I’m scared, mom” she confesses in a small voice.

“Why, darling?”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“C'mon, you can’t know that if you don’t try. And you’re too young to worry about that. If it doesn’t work, you can try it with someone else! Maybe someone without the name of a cookie as last name” she jokes, petting her hair. “Let those stupid fears outside your head and just enjoy what you can enjoy”

Her words seem to make something in Aquaria’s chest to grow; sudden courage. She doesn’t wanna lose Miz, but if she starts something knowing it can end, at least she’s gonna make it worthwhile. Nodding, she hugs Sharon as tight as she can. “You’re right, so fucking right”

“Nothing new, your mom is really smart” Sharon brags with a smirk, looking down at her watch for a second. “It’s six o'clock, let’s do what I came to! What are you gonna wear?”

Aquaria laughs, being dragged by Sharon upstairs to her room. For some minutes, she sees her mom searching into her closet from her bed, until Sharon turns around with a black dress she hasn’t seen in a while. Her mom looks at it with nostalgia, and Aquaria remembers; is the dress Alaska gave her for her birthday the year before.

Once she puts it on, Sharon takes manage of her hair. She combs it until it’s done and then proceeds with the make up that Aquaria finds unnecessary, but she lets her mom take her as a doll to dress and paint. When she finishes, she can’t stop praising her, petting her head with shining eyes and the biggest smile.

Miz’s car stops outside the house just ten minutes later. Sharon is nervous, maybe more than her own daughter when she hugs her and watches her from the door frame. Miz’s head pocks out of the window, yelling hello and waving at Sharon, who can only do the same.

-

“You look really pretty” Miz praises when Aquaria pulls into the car. She’s all dressed up, wearing a shiny light purple dress that makes her look adorable with her wavy blonde hair perfectly done.

“Thanks” she replies, a smile hiding behind her lips once the door is closed and the car starts. “You look pretty too”

Miz drives through the now dark streets, until they reach a little restaurant Aquaria has seen before. It’s warm and comfortable, and Aquaria feels even better when Miz reaches her side as soon as they’re walking to the door.

When they sit, dangerously close with their knees touching, it feels good. The thrill of disappointment and fear isn’t as big as Aquaria imagined it before, and when Miz smiles at her and asks what are you gonna have? in the sweetest voice, it seems to disappear.

She’s glad Miz can fill the holes in the conversation every time Aquaria just stays silent because the words don’t come out. She talks about her life, her childhood, stupid things that catch her attention —how could Aquaria know Miz actually loved to cook?— and more important, she gets her to do the same. She opens up; grabbing some vegetables with her fork as she tells Miz things she didn’t even remember before.

“I like your voice. It’s good to hear it more than just saying yes, no and I don’t know” Miz mocks, gaining a death gaze from her. “I’m serious, though. It’s really pretty. I could listen to it forever”

“I already listen to your voice always, so I can’t say the same” a high pitched gasp comes out of Miz mouth as Aquaria chuckles, looking down at her plate.

“And she can joke! You’re full of surprises. What else could you be keeping from me?”

“Well, you still don’t know I’m actually a secret agent from the FBI” Aquaria grimaces. “Now that I told you, I have to kill you”

“Okay, you joke about the FBI, that makes you even more perfect now” Miz states in a serious tone that makes Aquaria laugh. “Let’s just marry already”

“I wouldn’t mind that” Aquaria replies, not very attentive of her words. When she realizes what she has said, she bits her lip as her cheeks blush. “I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay, I was thinking the same” Miz puts her elbow over the table, resting her chin on her hand as she watches the girl in front of her. “You’re beautiful when you blush”

“Only when I blush?” Aquaria teases with a raised brow, the tension tangled in her nerves thankfully decreasing.

“Oh, well—” blinking, Miz seems taken aback. “You’re always beautiful, but, you know, when—”

She stops when Aquaria smiles, letting her know she was joking.

This feels just right.

-

When they head back to Aquaria’s home, the smiles are still there, and the comfortable heat that seems to go between them too. The car stops just where it did hours before, full of a very deserving silence after everything they spoke. Aquaria looks at Miz one more time before she open the door and for her surprise, Miz is already looking at her.

“This was a good night” the blonde comments. Her eyes shine under the street light, making Aquaria to fall in a small trance as she can only stare at them.

“It was” with her voice becoming little, she answers.

And again the silence. Aquaria turns a bit to open the door and Miz knows she should say something else before she goes. She can almost feel Monet’s gaze over her when she touches her arm, asking silently for attention.

“Aqua, I want to tell you something” in her head it sounded better, definitely. Aquaria is looking at her attentively and she just sighs, the nerves running through all her body. “I— wait, no. I just wanna say— I… like you, Aquaria. More than friends”

The words come out, floating in the air for a second before Aquaria can process them. And the silence hits the car once again, but this time it doesn’t feel right. And at the lack of response Miz sighs again, but this time embracing a mix of disappointment and dispair.

“I’m sorry. Please, let’s just be friends. Forget that. It was stupid— you know what? I’m drunk! Yes, so fucking drunk, I don’t know what I’m doing! I shouldn’t be driving”

With no words at all, Aquaria’s hand reaches Miz’s.

“No, Aquaria, don’t do that” with her head shaking negatively, she pulls her hand away as she looks down. “Don’t try to comfort me, I should’ve known”

“What should have you known? That I like you back?”

Miz can’t belive it. It doesn’t even sound true when Aquaria smiles warmly.

“You do?” lifting her head she asks, her insecurity becoming adorable for Aquaria, who can only nod to confirm her answer.

“I definitely do”

A smile grows on Miz’s lips. Is the only reponse her body produces, everything else is completely blank. Even when she tried to be positive about the topic, thinking Aquaria would have a mutual feeling, hearing it is completely different.

Her eyes can’t help but stare directly at her lips, those that look soft and sweet, those she wanted to kiss since a long time ago. She doesn’t even realize when Aquaria’s eyes are back on her, and her body moves closer, against hers, not having to deal with the seat belt. Her hand goes to Aquaria’s, holding it tight. Miz feels her chin being lift by her free hand.

When she looks up, Aquaria’s face is just inches away from hers. She can feel Miz’s heavy breathing coming out of her lightly open mouth.

It's sudden when their lips smash into each other, both of them closing their eyes with excitement running through their veins.

It's crazy when their heartbeats increase to a point they seem to be breathless, looking for air in the other’s mouth.

It's stupid when they break the kiss and their lips feel unsatisfaced, wanting —no, needing— more contact.

All they can do is look at each other, too shaken to talk. Their hands are still holding each other, Aquaria’s hand is still on Miz’s chin and the blonde’s hand has somehow found its way to her waist. Everything feels right. No, not right, it feels even better. It feels crazy, stupid, sudden; just like everything between them. And that’s absolutely perfect.

“Would be dumb if I say this is the best first kiss I ever had even when I never had one before?” Miz asks, eyes full of daydream. “I sounded so ridiculous and cheesy but it’s true. This is even better than I thought”

Talking in the calmest tone Miz has ever listened in Aquaria, she looks down with a little smile. “It was my first one too”

“Was it?” Miz’s brows raise with surprise when she nods. Pride grows in her chest; she was her crush’s first kiss. That’s more than something, Monet would say. “May I be your second one too?”

“You can be as much of them as you want” Aquaria eagerly replies, pulling her on a messy kiss as the car fills of heavy breathes and wonderful heat.

It feels perfect.

[pjxmin]

PROPOSALS

▹ pairing: Jeongguk x reader ▹ words: 18,102 I’m so sorry  ▹ genre: smut, fluff, light angst, friends to lovers

You and Jeongguk propose at restaurants to get free food, but somewhere along the way you start to fall for him.

You never thought Jeongguk would actually take you up on the whole fake proposals thing. When you had suggested the idea to him, he’d just laughed and said “yeah”, then continued playing Fallout 4. You hadn’t actually meant it; the idea was one of those you vaguely imagine it happening, but not really, which is why when he brought it up weeks later suggesting you try it out, you thought he was kidding. 

He wasn’t, and this is how you end up in one of the city's nicer restaurants on a fake date with your best friend. 

The whole idea spawned from watching far too many cheesy romance movies over the years. What you were most curious about was whether proposing at a restaurant really does get free food, so that’s what you two decided to put to the test. You wanted to know if it was just a dumb movie gimmick that works because of movie logic, or if you truly could get out of paying just by whipping out a ring. So the two of you dressed up in your finest clothing and made it a date.

"When are you gonna do it?" You whisper, unable to calm your nerves. 

Jeongguk smirks and shrugs, eyes skimming over the menu. "I dunno, whenever the mood is right."

You hit his arm and he laughs. "Gotta keep you on your toes, Y/N. That's the beauty of a proposal - you never know when it's gonna happen. Besides, it'll be more believable if your reaction is at least slightly genuine. Your acting is shit."

"Is not."

He raises his eyebrows, as if saying "really?", and you shut up. Jeongguk is right. Like many other people, you're fine at lying on the spot, if need be, but acting is something else. Acting is prolonged lying, and you're not good at that.

A lady approaches the two of you and politely introduces herself as your waitress for the night. You order first, then Jeongguk. Your menus are whisked away and you're left waiting for your orders and Jeongguk's surprise proposal. As the minutes tick on, you grow more nervous. It feels wrong to pull such a prank, but it's so exhilarating at the same time. Nobody is going to get hurt or anything, so it’s not that wrong, right?

Jeongguk rests a hand over your leg, which is bouncing underneath the tablecloth. "Hey, we don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I want to," you say. "I just. I don't know. What if they kick us out or something?"

He raises his eyebrows. "For proposing?"

"No, of course not. Maybe they'll be able to tell it's not real."

"Y/N, I'm hurt. Do you really have so little faith in my acting abilities? Don't worry, everything will be fine. They won't suspect a thing." He glances over your shoulder. "Food's here. You don't have to do much, just sit there and look pretty. I'll do the rest. They'll buy it, trust me."

The food is set down before you and you try to shove your worries out of your head to enjoy the meal. It'd be a waste of money if you let your nerves get in the way and ruin your appetite. Besides, you're doing the easy part. You literally just have to sit there, act touched, and say one line. If anything, the two of you will have had a fun night out and will know that movies are full of shit.

Jeongguk finishes his food faster, as always, but he slows down once he starts wolfing away at your shared side dish, allowing you to catch up. Your stomach feels ready to explode at the seams when you're done, and you're about to flag down a waiter to ask for more water when Jeongguk lifts a hand to your cheek, which confuses you at first, but then he mouths "go time" and you understand. This is it. The proposal.

He keeps his voice low, as though what he's saying is between you and him, private, and everyone else is just lucky to be there to witness such a beautiful display of affection.

In reality, he's telling you the lyrics to Breaking Free from High School Musical, which makes trying to be serious even harder. He's fucking with you, but you won't break. You crack a smile, and to anyone else it would seem like you're moved by his words, or maybe grinning at an inside joke.

Then he pulls out the ring. Several people from neighbouring tables glance over and you see a hand point in a way that you think is supposed to be subtle, but really isn't. You don't care. If you didn't want people to watch, then you wouldn't be here.

The ring is yours, a gift from your parents for graduation, and it was the only thing either of you had that looked close enough to an engagement ring. The gold band is studded with moonstone and at first Jeongguk suggested he buy some cheap plastic ring instead, but you insisted on using a real one because plastic would be way too obvious. May as well hold up a flag saying "none of this is real!".

Jeongguk slides out of his chair and onto one knee. The widening of your eyes is genuine, because while you were expecting this, it doesn't make it any less strange or surprising. You half-expected him to reveal the ring and propose sitting down. But no, Jeongguk has to pull out all the stops and take everything to the next level. Everything he does is done to utmost perfection.

His voice grows louder as he says, "Y/N, will you make me the happiest man alive and do me the honour of being my wife?"

More people are looking, so you blink quickly and fan your face, as though trying to keep tears at bay. The lucky onlookers, they came for a meal and now they get free entertainment. Even a couple waiters are watching as they serve other patrons.

"Of course, Jeongguk. Of course I'll marry you."

Jeongguk's face splits into the widest grin and he slips the ring on your finger. Then he lifts your hand, making sure the ring is on display, and exclaims, "She said yes!"

In response you get a few smiles and some congratulations, but mostly startled glances and annoyed looks for disturbing the silence of the restaurant. A waiter comes by and says dessert and champagne is on them.

Jeongguk squeezes your hand once before letting go and whispers "success". You lean your chin on your hand, trying to look the picture of a totally in love newly-engaged woman.

Dessert comes quickly, served by the chef himself, who also congratulates you. You can't conceal the surprise on your face and cut into the chocolate fondant in a daze. In just a few minutes, it feels like you've been swept into some other new life, and you almost believe yourself that something huge has changed, until you remember that once you leave this restaurant, everything will return back to normal. Nothing changed. Not really, anyway. But you allow yourself to believe it, at least for a little bit. You let yourself get swept away by it all, and you wonder if maybe Jeongguk is doing the same thing. His smile seems wider, laugh brighter, and each glance he gives you seems to communicate a feeling that makes something inside you stir. You're not quite sure what it is and it makes you keep looking at him, trying to understand it. But you end up distracted by the way his eyes narrow when he grins, the noises of content he makes with each bite of the dessert, and the way he keeps glancing at you when he thinks you're not paying attention.

Once the two of you are home in your shared apartment, it's almost eleven and you're thankful you don't have to work the next day, because you still have too much energy after all that dessert and won't be able to fall asleep quickly. You get into your pyjamas and crawl into bed, listening to Jeongguk brush his teeth. When he's done, he comes into your room and collapses beside you.

"Can we watch the season finale of How To Get Away With Murder?" He asks.

"Only if you get the remote." The remote is on the other side of the room, resting on the coffee table underneath the TV. The apartment doesn't have a living room, since you chose to have two bedrooms instead and a spacious (as spacious as can be with the small area) open plan dining room/kitchen. So instead, the TV went into your bedroom. Neither of you watches it much, and when you do, it's together. Jeongguk games on it every now and then, but he stays out of the room when you need your privacy or alone time.

Jeongguk lets the episode play for twenty minutes undisturbed before speaking. "Today was fun."

You nod, rubbing your eyes. The sleepiness is beginning to get to you. "I didn't expect it to be such a success."

Jeongguk chews his lip before shifting in the bed to look at you. "Let's do it again."

"You want to?"

"Do you?"

You shrug. The possibility of getting free food is immediately incentive, but more importantly, it was fun. Though you do still feel a bit guilty, it's all harmless. "Sure, let's do it."

You agree to space out the proposals, since even though you're not completely broke, shacking out money on meals at restaurants on a regular basis will add up. The two of you will pay for your own orders, to be fair. Jeongguk is almost buzzing with excitement and he doesn't stop making comments or suggestions for another ten minutes, after which you tell him to shut up because you're missing the show. So he buzzes silently beside you. After a while, he's completely still, and when you glance over at him, you discover he's fallen asleep. You pull the blankets up closer to his chin and switch off the TV, plunging the room into darkness.

You try your best not to move around too much, so you carefully sink down on your pillows and get comfortable.

The sound of Jeongguk's soft breathing fills the room, and soon enough, you're asleep too.

"You two are doing what?" Your friend Choa says on Wednesday morning at work. One of your coworkers casts you a salty look, so you gesture for Choa to follow you to the bathroom. Might as well take a bathroom break and stretch your legs. It's been a long day and you can't wait to go home. 

You explain the whole thing to her from inside a toilet stall and she doesn't interrupt.

"You mind if Hyejeong and I steal your idea? I want free food too," Choa says when you're finished.

"Go for it," you say. You flush and come out, washing your hands while Choa touches up her makeup.

"It might be good practice."

"You thinking about proposing?"

She shrugs. "We're not in a rush to do anything, but yeah, the cards are on the table. We've talked about it and we're both up for it, just not right now. Everyone says stuff gets complicated once you're married, which would be nice to avoid for as long as possible. We've got enough to deal with here at work, I'd like my personal life to remain as stress-free as possible. Plus I don't want to deal with all those damn documents."

"I'd better be a bridesmaid at your wedding," you say.

She smiles. "I mean, we'll have to see if there's any room for you there."

You gasp and nudge her. She laughs and pulls you into a hug, reassuring you that of course you'll be invited, whenever it is that they finally decide to seal the deal.

Because it's a Wednesday, you and Jeongguk are set to meet at McDonalds for an unhealthy dinner after work. Wednesdays tend to be the most grueling days of the week and neither of you ever has the energy to cook, so it became a ritual to eat at a nearby McDonalds to avoid the hassle. You invite Choa, promising you'll buy her a milkshake if she comes. That's all it takes to convince her.

Jeongguk is already waiting when the two of you get there, surrounded by an absurd amount of food for the three of you. You get Choa her milkshake and sit down beside Jeongguk. You fill eachother in on how the day went, slowly working through your disgustingly greasy dinner.

"So you just… Did it? Got down on one knee and proposed?" Choa asks when you mention to Jeongguk that you told her about your weekend shenanigans.

"Yeah, it wasn't that hard. There wasn't a script or anything. I just asked her to marry me and that was all there was to it." Jeongguk's expression is amused. "You wanna try?"

Her eyes bug out. "Proposing? Here? I wouldn't know the first thing to say."

"You don't have to say anything. Nobody is listening, they only really start listening if you get down on one knee, and at that point you can just say 'hey, be my wife' and boom, you're done," you say.

She glances around, taking in the people around you. Her expression is nervous, but curious more than anything.

"Okay…" She says. "Just let me tell Hyejeong first in case somebody starts filming and posts it on YouTube."

You laugh, but her point is valid. Proposals (especially failed ones) do tend to spread like wildfire online, so it's better to be safe than sorry. You've always admired Choa's relationship with Hyejeong. They're that laid-back couple who are constantly bantering with one another, but at the end of the day love eachother more than anything in the world and share every aspect of their lives, without limiting or restricting eachother. You hope that whoever you end up with is that way with you too.

"Okay, all good," Choa says, slipping her phone back into her bag.

"What did you tell her?" You ask.

"That I'm proposing to you and ditching her sorry ass."

Jeongguk chokes on the Sprite he's drinking.

"I'm ready whenever you are," you say. "There's no need to make it special, nobody is watching."

"Not yet they aren't," she says with a sly grin, and you wish Jeongguk hadn't suggested anything when she stands up on her chair, immediately attracting attention to herself. Thankfully there aren't many people in the joint to begin with.

Choa speaks loudly, delivering the most disgusting, yet somewhat sweet speech to you. You have to admire her bravery, because if it were you, you probably wouldn’t have the guts to just stand up and propose, especially without preparation. When she’s done and you say, you’ll marry her, she sits back down with a satisfied smile, flashing you her underwear in the process.

"Fuck, what is it with you two and needing to make a spectacle out of everything?" You whisper loud enough for them to hear. "Also you're about as romantic as a wet sock, you know."

She pokes her tongue out at you. "Good thing you're not marrying me then." She takes chicken nugget and pops it in her mouth. "That really was easy. I mean, I'm sure real proposals aren't that simple, but still. That was rad. Hyejeong and I are definitely stealing your idea. You better patent this shit before it becomes a thing."

You smile at Jeongguk. Choa's excitement has you looking forward to the next proposal.

"By the way, not that anyone asked or anything, but if the two of you end up dating after this - or get married - I think you'd be the cutest couple."

This time it's your turn to choke on your drink. Jeongguk pats your back until you stop coughing and you glare at Choa, who simply says, "What? Come on, you guys are adorable. I mean, yeah, a dude and a girl can just be friends, but you know. If it happens, I think it'd be awesome. Cheesy, but awesome."

The space between you and Jeongguk gets tense and you're not quite sure how to respond. Blessedly, Choa's phone starts ringing, and you recognize the ringtone as the one she'd set for Hyejeong ages ago as a joke and never ended up changing. They don't talk too long, but Choa laughs saying she'll 'explain everything at home' (the proposal, you assume).

"Okay, my friends, it's been great hanging out but I gotta go," she says, shouldering her bag. "Y/N, call me up sometime and we'll start planning that wedding, yeah?"

"Will do, future wife," you say. "See you tomorrow."

She waves and disappears. You take a bite out of your burger so you can think about how to change the subject from what Choa left it with. Sure, the idea of dating Jeongguk isn’t absolutely horrendous and he would be a great boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean you’ll admit it to him.

"Wouldn't it be funny if we started dating because of this?" Jeongguk muses, trying to make light of the awkward situation. Trying and failing.

You snort. "I wouldn't date your ass if you were the last person alive."

He laughs and throws a fry your way. "Right back at you."

Work gets hectic and you end up trapped underneath an avalanche of shit to do, so the proposals hit the pause button until things calm down again. You end up working from home most nights, grumbling to Jeongguk that you should be getting paid for all these extra hours. Seeing Choa come into work just as exhausted as you makes you feel a little bit better knowing you're not alone in your suffering. Your lunch breaks don't even really count as breaks anymore since you sit at your computer typing away while trying to eat at the same time. Jeongguk gives you back rubs on nights when you feel like crying and throwing your laptop out a window. He completely takes over cooking dinner, despite the fact that he also has his own stuff to do. You swear you're going to repay him somehow later.

"Who are you texting?" You ask him one night. Jeongguk has been glued to his phone for the last hour, which is uncharacteristic of him. It's rare that he's ever on his phone, which makes contacting him an impossible task at times.

"A girl named Miso on Tinder and a guy named Yugyeom on Grindr," he says. He shows you a picture on his phone - of Yugyeom, presumably - and you can't help but widen your eyes a little bit. He's attractive, but a little too naked. Jeongguk has informed you that Grindr is a lot more to the point than Tinder is. He then switches to Tinder and holds up his phone again, flicking through Miso's photos. She's absolutely stunning in that edgy kind of way that you don't think you could ever pull off. They’re both stunning. A weird feeling stirs in your chest.

"It's nothing serious or anything," he says, settling back against the pillows on your bed. You stretch out your legs, resting them on top of his as he continues texting.

You're not stupid, you know that Jeongguk meets up with people every now and then to have a bit of fun. After an incident where he and his partner were particularly... Loud, he didn't usually invite them over anymore. He could barely look you in the eye for a week afterwards because of how embarrassed he was. It's just that when it doesn't happen in your apartment, it's easy to forget what he gets up to.

"I mean, there wouldn't be anything wrong if it were serious." You can see Jeongguk chew on his lip from your peripheral view, halting his typing for a moment.

"Yeah, but I'd like it to happen organically, you know?" He says. "Romance is going to die with this generation and its dating apps. I probably watch too much anime or whatever, but I want to meet someone in real life and feel that spark. Not meet on a dating app, bone a few times, and hope maybe it leads to more."

"First, there is no such thing as 'too much anime'. Second," you reach out to give his leg a reassuring squeeze, "You'll feel that spark eventually. Just don't limit yourself. Maybe that person you bone will end up being the love of your life. You never know. Choa and Hyejeong started off with a casual relationship and look at them now."

He sighs and stands up. "True. Okay, well Miso wants to meet up so wish me luck, I guess. Who knows, maybe she’ll be the one." He wiggles his eyebrows and enters his room to change clothes and grab his wallet. He drops by your room to say goodbye and you can't help yourself from admiring how nice he looks. For another girl. The weird feeling in your chest wakes up again. "Don't wait up."

"Have fun," you say, watching him disappear into the front hall. The door shuts softly, leaving you alone with that weird feeling. What on earth is going on? Where is this coming from? You wait for a little while for the feeling to come back, but it doesn’t. Must have imagined it. You shake your head and grab a bottle of wine from the kitchen and continue slaving on in the quiet apartment.

Four more proposals go by with varying levels of success. Jeongguk keeps it interesting, doing something different each time so you're always anticipating what he's going to do next. It's not hard to feign surprise considering he keeps his plans secret and you never know when he's actually going to do it or what he's going to do.

Somehow, he doesn't get nervous or embarrassed by any of it, and you admire his bravery, because you wouldn't be able to propose with such flourish and grandeur the way he does.

You mention this to him one day and he says, "You know what? I think you should try it."

"Try what?"

"Proposing."

You open your mouth to protest, but then close it. You have no valid reason not to. He's proposed, it's only fair you do it too. It's the twenty first century, you can propose if you want to and nobody can say shit about it. Choa could do it, so why can't you?

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I'll do it. If you do anything embarrassing though, I'll kill you."

So you set a date. You book a reservation at a humble restaurant and spend the next week scripting and rescripting proposals between your lunch breaks at work, during work (sneakily so nobody catches you not actually doing your job), and at home whenever you can. Even though it's not real, the pressure is on to make it perfect, especially with Jeongguk being a perfectionist who is naturally amazing at everything he does. You suddenly feel appreciative of everyone who has ever proposed and put thought into their proposals. This isn't as easy as it seems. 

You don't let Jeongguk see the proposal you've written out and you promptly stop practicing as soon as he approaches you with a teasing grin. One day while he's vacuuming and you're sitting at the table writing, he tries to peek over your shoulder, but you promptly swat him away and retreat to your room. Choa also sneaks peeks at what you're writing during work, but her eyes are more than welcome and she tells you which parts you can tweak or get rid of completely.

You know that on the night you probably won't use half of the things you've written down, but it helps having a general direction, otherwise you'll end up yammering and land yourself in the Guinness World Records for Lamest Proposal Ever. Hopefully you manage to salvage at least a few lines from your script.

The night of, you put on a dress that goes past knee length to make sure you don't flash anyone your underwear when you get down on your knee. Jeongguk looks dapper in smart casual clothing and you swear to god he would look drop dead gorgeous even in a plastic bag. You can’t help but let your thoughts wander to Miso (with whom things didn’t work out) and feel smug that you get to see him like this and she doesn’t. 

Jeongguk touches the small of your back as you step inside the restaurant, and even though there's a thin layer of fabric separating your skin, the gesture still makes you almost trip over.

The two of you are swiftly seated, your order is taken, and food arrives so fast it almost feels too fast. You lean forward slightly to blow on your soup and a strand of hair slides off your shoulder, which Jeongguk brushes away. This makes you pause, confused by what these little touches mean and why you’re enjoying them. You assume it’s part of the act, but don’t question it in case he stops. 

Halfway through dessert, you decide it's time. Music floats through the room and hushed conversations skim across tables. The lack of noise makes you nervous, but you keep in mind that Jeongguk has done the same thing with success in all sorts of circumstances. If he can be brave enough for this, so can you.

You've stalled long enough, you have to get this proposal done with before you lose your nerve and the two of you have left the restaurant. Despite your earlier pep talks, your knees still shake as you sink down to the ground in front of Jeongguk, which immediately turns several curious heads. It's almost amusing how everyone knows what's about to happen even before you've pulled out a ring. Several people look slightly confused though. It's not everyday you see a woman propose to a man. Even if this is all fake, you hope it teaches some people a lesson today that shit is changing and women can initiate action if they damn well please.

"Jeon Jeongguk," you begin, taking his hand in yours. His face is twisted with amusement, which only fills you with more confidence. "We met when we were in second grade, and although you haven't really done much maturing since then, I wouldn't be able to imagine a life without your royal dorkiness in it. You're my best friend, the first person I go to for anything and I know I can always trust you because you're just that kind of person. I would trust you with my entire life if it ever came to that. You're the kindest, bravest, wildest person I've ever met and somehow I got lucky enough to call you my best friend. When you're not around, something always feels like it's missing. I'm not whole without you. You complete me in so many ways and I don't want to live a life without you in it. I want to go browsing homes with you, I want to adopt a pet with you and name it something stupid, I want to fight with you over who gets the blanket at night, I want to do everything with you, because even the most mundane things would seem exciting. I know this is really sudden, but it can't wait any longer. Jeongguk, will you marry me?"

In the end, you don't get free food. Not even free drinks. You swear you're never going to go back to that place again.

"That was a pretty kickass proposal, though," Jeongguk says as the two of you leave the restaurant, trying to lift your mood. "We'll celebrate our fake engagement on our own. Who needs free food or free drinks? We're adults, if we wanna drink, we'll drink."

You cross your arms, annoyed by your failure tonight. "You're right," you say. "Screw them, we don’t need their approval. They probably have crappy drinks anyway. We’ll have an even better night on our own and drink all we want.”

You both drop by a supermarket and purchase a bunch of junk food (because who eats healthy food when they get drunk?) then head over to the nearest liquor store to get alcohol where you proudly announce to the cashier that "We just got engaged and I proposed because fuck the rules."

The front door of your flat hasn’t even closed when you open the bottle of vodka and take two large gulps that burn down your throat.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's take this slow," Jeongguk says, taking all the bags and alcohol from you. He pulls out a couple of shot glasses from the kitchen cabinets and slides a bag of Doritos and a packet of Oreos your way. "Pace yourself or else you're gonna be on the floor in half an hour." You make a face at him, but oblige.

Several shots later, you are indeed lying on the kitchen floor as predicted and Jeongguk is propped against the counters, shot glass dangling between his fingers. The ceiling is spinning, but when you close your eyes, the spinning intensifies. Why was this a good idea again? For the billionth time you're reminded that you're not an eighteen year old anymore who doesn't understand that getting shitfaced just isn't cool. At this age, it's just really freaking lame and the reward doesn't outweigh the consequences anymore.

"You looked really pretty tonight, by the way," Jeongguk says, and it's so unexpected that you tilt your head up to look at him, as though that'll somehow confirm that you didn't just imagine what he said. At this point nothing feels real anymore.

"Thanks," you say. Your cheeks have definitely gone red and you're sure it's not from the alcohol. "You didn't look too bad yourself."

Jeongguk moves to lie down beside you. You turn on your side to face him and he does the same. If not for the alcohol, you wouldn't have the nerve for this. Any of this. You're not sure what this new intimacy is, if it's just residual habits from the fake engagements, or if it's supposed to mean more. You're not even sure he realizes what he's doing. Or if he realizes you like it. Something about it feels more intimate than before. You used to be able to lie down beside him and look at him like this without that weird feeling in your chest, but now it feels different. Now your heart races and the sight of him makes you lose your breath.

"Would you actually want to marry me?" You blurt out. Sober, you would've bit back the words immediately. No, they wouldn't have even come out of your mouth. 

He doesn't even think about it. "Yeah. I mean, if we weren't just friends and we, you know, saw eachother that way and got to that point, yeah. Of course. What about you?"

Just friends.

"If you got rid of those fucking Iron Man duvet covers, then maybe." Your brain can’t help replaying what he said and you don’t understand why it makes you ache.

"That's mean."

"That's life, sweetheart."

He raises his eyebrows. "'Sweetheart'? We're using pet names now, huh? I didn't get the memo."

You start sitting up but he pulls you back down, and in your inebriated state, you fall on top of him. His body is warm and you can feel his toned muscles underneath his shirt. Whatever he was about to say slips away and you see him glance at your lips, which makes you glance at his, and then you scramble off him like your ass is on fire. This time he lets you go, almost too fast, and you somehow manage to stumble into your room, throwing a haste "good night" over your shoulder before shutting the door.

You crawl under the sheets and lie on your side, staring at the window curtains, replaying that brief moment over and over in your head. What on earth was that? And did he feel that too? Before this whole fake proposals thing you wouldn't have thought twice about something like this. What is happening to you? This is your best friend. Your best friend who used to tell you scary stories because he thought it would be funny to frighten you, the best friend you went through awkward puberty with, and the best friend who you thought would invite you to his wedding, and who you'd invite to your wedding. Hell, you've even joked that you might make him your maid of honour. But after all of these proposals, you find yourself imagining him beside you at your wedding not as a maid of honour, but maybe as the person you're planning on spending the rest of you life with.

You groan and pull a pillow over your head, squeezing your eyes shut. This is all just some silly effect of the alcohol and the proposals. Pretending to get engaged is making you think about weddings more than you ever have, so of course you’re imagining things. Who wouldn’t? Nothing has changed. All these thoughts are just because of this arrangement and they’ll go away soon enough. 

Eventually your thoughts stop racing and a dreamless sleep overcomes you.

When you wake up, it's almost noon and sunlight is spilling through the crack in your curtains. There's a glass of water and Panadol on your bedside table, as well as a note saying saying 'A client called last minute, will be back as soon as possible. Hope these help you feel less like dying. :(" You truly do not deserve somebody as good as Jeongguk.

Sending a quick thank you text to him, you swallow down the Panadol and shuffle into the bathroom to wash off the stench of alcohol. Your head is aching and you just want to lie in bed for the next two weeks. 

Once you’re clean, you shuffle around the house, looking for your phone, and when you find it there are five missed calls, twelve texts, and four messages on Snapchat waiting. You frown. What in the hell? There are three missed calls from Taehyung, one from Namjoon, and one from Jimin. Most the texts are from Taehyung, since he has a tendency to fire off a billiong in one go rather than condense his thoughts into one message.

You open them and your confusion only grows.

2:03 WHAT IS THIS WHOLE ENGAGEMENT THING ON YOUR SNAP STORY

2:03 YOU AND JEONGGUK ARE ENGAGED????

2:06 ANSWER ME WOMAN ISTG

2:10 ??????????????????

2:12 if you're not gonna answer ur phone tell guk to

2:15 good lord it's impossible to get a hold of either of you

2:17 PICK UP FFS

2:25 okay call me in the morning if you can PLEASE

You squeeze your eyes shut and a curse slips from between your lips. Somehow you never learn to stay off social media when you're inebriated. You replay your snap story and cringe even more. Sometime last night you had proclaimed your (fake) engagement with Jeongguk and even held up his hand to show off the (fake) ring, announcing that the wedding would be held soon and "everyone is invited". You promptly delete the entire story and call Taehyung. He starts yelling the moment you pick up.

"So your phone does work! Explain everything!"

"Tae, I was drunk off my ass last night, nothing happened. There's no engagement."

"But the ring?"

"It's all a joke, Tae,” you say, sitting down at the kitchen table. “I think it’ll make more sense if I tell you in person.”

Tae falls silent before finally saying, "Okay, I'm coming over with the gang. Everyone's confused as hell so you may as well explain to all of us together."

"Alright. Can you tell them they can stop freaking out? I promise nothing is going on, we just had a lot to drink."

"Yeah, sure. I'll text you when we're on the way."

After the phone call with Taehyung, you lie back down for another fifteen minutes or so, waiting for your embarrassment and hangover to subside. Next time you're anywhere near alcohol, you're going to leave your phone somewhere where you won't be able to touch it. You run through the events of last night, piecing together the hazy memories and trying to place them in chronological order. You remember eating and talking with Jeongguk, playing a few rounds of Uno together, drinking, drinking more, things getting hazier and hazier. When Jeongguk went to the bathroom, you ended up taking two shots, which he figured out he'd done when you suddenly got much tipsier. And then you remember that awkward moment where things got a bit too friendly. You don't even want to attempt to decipher the meaning of that moment, if there even is any meaning to it.

Eventually you force yourself to get up and text Jeongguk asking him how he feels. He probably won't be able to see his phone for a while since he's working, which is fine. You head out to get some pizza since you'll be having company and have zero desire to cook anything. Your phone chimes as you're carrying four large boxes of pizza home, so you check it once you're indoors again and you swear your heart flips when you see Jeongguk's name.

  18:14 Hey, sorry I couldn't get back to you earlier. Omw home, but the bus is stuck in traffic. 

  Just as you're about to reply, two texts come in from Taehyung saying they're "like five minutes away". You've just set down the pizza boxes and managed to clean up a little when the intercom starts chiming, indicating that the boys have arrived. You let them in and they immediately grab the pizza and sit down on every available surface.

"Where's your fiancé?" Jimin asks teasingly, settling comfortably on Seokjin's lap.

"He's not my fiancé," you grumble. "He's on the way home, just stuck in a bit of traffic. He should be here soon, though."

"Okay, so talk," Taehyung says mid-chew. "What the heck is going on? Are you engaged or not?”

"No, we’re not really engaged.” Just like with Choa, you explain the whole arrangement and what you can remember from last night. Yoongi and Taehyung are frowning, unsure what to make of the situation while the other looks mildly curious and a lot more understanding than before they knew what was happening.

Seokjin is the first to speak while the others digest. "Well, I think it's cute. We should try it out, Jimin."

"We're already married, you dork," Jimin grumbles, even though a smile tugs at the corners of his lips. Seokjin gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and for the first time, you feel jealous of what they have.

“How the heck does this even happen? Who came up with this?” Namjoon says.

“Well, I suggested it,” you say. “There’s a bunch of movies where people do this stuff, so I thought it would be cool to test it out. I just didn’t think Jeongguk would agree to it. He suggested we keep doing it.”

"You know that in all those types of movies the friends always end up falling for eachother, right?" Taehyung says.

"Don't be so paranoid, I'm sure they know what they're doing." Yoongi is the one who comes to your defense, but he's facing you with an unreadable expression when he says this. "It's all harmless."

"Yeah, absolutely," you say quickly, averting your gaze from Yoongi's. "We're just having a bit of fun. We're not dating or anything, it all stops when we get home."

Taehyung and Yoongi exchange a look. "Alright," Taehyung says uncertainly. "Maybe delete snapchat or something next time the two of you get wasted. You nearly gave us a heart attack."

"Correction: nearly gave you a heart attack," Namjoon says. "You're the one who started freaking out."

"Called every one of us at two in the freaking morning," Hoseok grumbles. "You do know that normal human beings are sleeping at that time, right?"

Before Taehyung can defend himself, keys rattle in the front door and Jeongguk steps inside. A look of surprise crosses his face when he registers that you have company, but he doesn't seem bothered by it. In your embarrassment after last night, you forgot to give him a warning that there would be other people around.

"Hey, what's going on?" He says, sitting down in the chair next to yours. There’s zero awkwardness, so it seems like he doesn’t even remember the moment you shared last night. This makes you feel a little bit better. Maybe you were overreacting and that moment just seemed worse because of your drunken state.

"I caught them up with the whole proposals thing," you say. "I may or may not have snapped last night announcing that we were engaged. Forgot to mention the whole thing was fake."

"I vaguely remember something about that," he says, making a face. He turns to the guys and looks at them apologetically. "Well, I guess that made telling everyone what was going on easier. Not that there's much to tell."

You nod, smiling tightly. Yoongi and Taehyung still look suspicious, but thankfully they drop the subject. Since you and Jeongguk are tired, they don't stay around too long. Jimin and Seokjin leave an hour before everyone else, as expected of them. The others stick around a bit longer, cracking open the remaining booze from last night while you talk (you don't drink since the thought of putting more alcohol in your system makes you a bit nauseous). At some point Jeongguk's hand comes to rest on your thigh and Taehyung's eyes shoot straight to you, raising his eyebrows questioningly. You ignore him.

When they finally leave, Jeongguk lets out a deep sigh of relief. "Finally."

"Sorry, I would have asked them all to come another day, but you know Tae. He was freaking out so I figured it would be best to invite them all over to explain what's going on in one go."

"I didn't think he'd make such a big deal out of it," he says. His phone's message tone goes off and he slips it out of his pocket, reading the message with a sigh. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Yugyeom wants to meet up.”

"Oh.” You knew things with Miso didn't work out, but you didn't know he was still seeing Yugyeom, much less other people. A part of you thought that maybe with these proposals he stopped doing all that. Which is absolutely stupid and you don’t know why you’d assume such a thing.

"I didn't know you two were still talking," you say in a way you hope that sounds unaffected.

"Well, I'm not sure if you'd consider it talking," he quips and that annoying feeling throbs in your chest.

“Will you go?”

He purses his lips, pondering over his options. “Question is am I so desperate for a fuck to go see him. Man, I’m beat. He couldn’t have texted me tomorrow?”

In the end, it turns out he is desperate enough. He rinses his teeth with Listerine and changes into more casual clothing while grumbling away.

You remain seated in the kitchen, trying to understand what you’re feeling and why you ache so much when you think about what he’s going to do. He throws a goodbye over his shoulder and you listen to the door click shut behind him as he goes to make love to someone else.

Jeongguk continues to see Yugyeom and you watch him leave, taking another piece of you every time. The sight of his departing back slowly chips away at you, so you try to ignore it. You try to ignore the sound of the shutting door, his footsteps as he arrives past midnight, the buzzing of his phone as he receives a booty call from Yugyeom. You tell yourself none of this bothers you, especially as the proposals continue along. You smile and laugh the way you always would, but whenever he gets down on the ground to propose, all you can think about is him getting down on his knees for Yugyeom for an entirely different reason. You try to compartmentalize your thoughts, locking them away, but they continue to resurface. So you continue to ignore them, pretending they’re not there, until one day you can’t avoid them anymore and they blow up in your own face.

“Will you marry me?”

Jeongguk's eyes are so hopeful, waiting for your response, but you don't say anything. Not immediately like you always do. All you can think about is him on top of someone else, the breathy sighs that would have escaped his lips. You wonder if maybe he talked to Yugyeom about you. If maybe during every proposal he was thinking about Yugyeom, waiting for the next time they could see eachother. Here you were thinking maybe he was feeling something for you too, but you were an idiot to ever consider that idea as a possibility.

"No," you say, unable to stop the word from slipping out of your lips. You intended to say yes the way you always do, but the word morphed into something else and now it hangs between the two of you two, suspended in midair, waiting for one of you to acknowledge it. Jeongguk is surprised for a moment before his expression changes into one of confusion. 

"Y/N, what are you doing?" He whispers, but you can't handle his gaze on you, the way he's so clueless about how you're feeling. Taehyung and Yoongi were right, this isn't harmless and you have no idea what you're doing. 

"I can't do this, I’m sorry," you say, getting up and grabbing your bag with jerky motions. You rush away from the table, pushing out of the restaurant door as fast as you can. You collide into someone and mumble an apology, hurrying down the street. You're not sure where you're going, you just know you need to put as much distance between you and Jeongguk as you can.

You only make it a block when Jeongguk catches up to you, grabbing you by the arm to stop you from getting any further.

"Hey, what's going on?" He pulls you aside so you're out of the way of people walking past.

"I'm just not feeling it today," you say. "Not feeling well."

"Do you want to go home?" He asks, frowning, concern written all over his face.

You don't want to be anywhere near him right now, but you don't say that. "I think I just need some air."

"Sure, we can-"

"Alone," you interject. You wish you didn't notice the hurt that flickers across his face for a second. "Please."

He takes a step back from you, nodding. "Okay. Okay, I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah." You step away too. "I'll see you at home."

You let your feet take you in the opposite direction of him without a clear destination in mind. You just need some space. Every time you're around Jeongguk you forget yourself and can't think straight. How did things get so screwed up without you even realizing it? Where were all these conflicting feelings coming from? You aren't sure how long they've been residing in the back of your mind, slowly crawling out from their confines, just waiting for you to realize they're there when it's too late.

You end up sitting in a park after walking around aimlessly, and you watch families feed ducks, elderly couples stroll past holding hands, friends laugh about god knows what. Choa once told you that the best way to get over somebody is to get under someone else (she was probably joking, but fuck it), so you decide that if Jeongguk can fuck around, so can you. You can't be bothered going through the awkwardness of Tinder, so you go through your phone contacts, praying that you saved one of your old fuckboy friend's phone numbers. Fuckboys may be the bane of human existence, but they could always be relied on for a quick fix.

"Bingo." You dial a number you almost completely forgot about, your stomach twisting in knots. This could be a huge mistake in a series of huge mistakes, and you almost hang up after the fifth ring. Then he picks up.

You're at Minho's flat in half an hour. He opens the door so fast that it makes you wonder if he was standing there waiting for you.

"Hey, stranger. Been a while since I've seen you," he says. He's not wearing a shirt, of course, even despite the chill in the air. He looks as good as ever and you know he knows it. If you had that kind of body you'd probably be confident as hell about it too.

"Shut up," you say, pulling him towards you. He doesn't protest. It’s not like you were calling to talk and he was perfectly aware of that. That was never something you and Minho did, which is why you’re here now.

His mouth finds yours and his tongue instantly asks for entrance, which you grant. You used to be able to kiss him for hours, intoxicated by his very presence. Cocky as he may be, he was good at what he did, and from what you can tell he hasn't lost his skill. He probably has five other girls on the side and you're about to become the sixth, just for today. 

The two of you make your way through the flat to Minho's bedroom without letting go of eachother, and you almost trip over the coffee table in his living room, so he reaches underneath you and hoists you up, carrying you the rest of the way. He drops you on the bed, leaving wet kisses along your neck as he unbuttons your shirt. The confidence you felt coming here is rapidly disappearing, but since you're here now, you may as well take advantage of the situation and satisfy your needs. Minho is good in bed, but he's also good at keeping feelings out of it. That's something you appreciate about him in a strange way. He doesn't get attached, but he's amazing at treating you like a queen in the moment. Or like the dirtiest slut in the world, depending on what you both felt like in the moment. Sleeping with him was always fun, but after a while you decided you wanted more. Like Jeongguk, sleeping around just wasn't enough, so you cut things off with him. He didn't take it personally, obviously, and wished you the best when you told him what you wanted. And now here you are, back with him again.

"This is just a one time thing," you tell him as he works at your jeans, pulling them off your legs. You thank god that you decided to put on black underwear today.

"Yeah, of course." He unbuttons his jeans and slips out of them, then returns his attention to you.

Minho makes you come twice, and by the end you need several minutes to recompose yourself and remember your own name. Your entire body is covered in sweat and you're sure that you're going to be aching the next day.

"I forgot how good you were," you say (more like pant) when you can finally manage to sit up.

He laughs, already in his clothes and on his phone, probably texting another girl. "You're missing out. We can start doing this again if you want."

You pick up your bra and underwear off the floor, putting them back on. "Like I said, this was a one time thing. Sorry."

"Trouble in paradise?" He asks, chucking the phone on his bed.

"Why would you say that?"

He tilts his head and gives you a look that say 'you really think I'm that stupid?'. "Last thing you said to me a year ago was that you wanted a real relationship, and now here you are again, just for a one time thing. Come on, I know you a bit better than that. Also, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ve never been this... Desperate.”

You make a face, irritated that you were so obvious. "Do you remember Jeongguk?"

"Your roommate?"

"Yeah." You stand and run your fingers through your hair in an attempt to tame the crazy sex hair you must have. "I just… Thought things had changed between us and maybe we were becoming more than just friends, but… I guess I was wrong. I don't know. It's complicated."

"And this is why I don't do relationships. Feelings always fuck things up."

"You can say that again," you mumble, buttoning your shirt up again. The sweat on your skin is becoming sticky and disgusting. You're tempted to stay and ask if you can use Minho's bathroom to shower, but you don't want to overstay your welcome. And if you're being honest with yourself, you're feeling a little guilty. Coming here seemed like an okay idea at first, but now you're not so sure. Did you prove whatever you wanted to prove by coming here? How exactly does this get back at Jeongguk?

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"Hell no, that would mean admitting shit and potentially ruining our friendship. Out of question." The idea of telling Jeongguk how you feel is so preposterous you could laugh. "Anyway, I didn't come here for advice, but thanks for trying."

He leaves you to finish dressing up and your phone rings when you're midway through getting your jeans on. You grab your phone and answer without even looking at the caller ID, and you wish you did when Jeongguk's voice sounds in your ear.

"I was just calling to check if you were okay," he says and a quick glance at the clock on Minho's bedside table says it's been over two hours. The guy certainly took his time working you up.

"Yeah, everything's fine, I'm just-" You hoist your jeans up and lose your balance, falling onto your ass and losing your grip on the phone in the process. You curse, certain that on top of aching tomorrow, you're going to have a bruise too. Could this day get any better?

As if to prove it could, Minho steps inside with wide eyes, and when he speaks you know your cover is blown. Jeongguk will know you aren’t alone getting the space you asked for earlier. There’s no way your phone microphone wouldn’t pick up on Minho’s insanely deep voice. "Jesus, what happened in here? You okay?"

"Yeah, I just fell over," you say, shooing him away as you pick up your phone from the floor. "You still there?"

"Yeah, what just happened?" Jeongguk sounds just as worried, but there's a slight edge to his voice that you can't quite place.

"I fell. I'm fine though."

"Are you… Are you with somebody?"

"I'm, uh, at Minho's," you say awkwardly. Jeongguk knew there was only one reason you used to hang out with Minho, and that was not because you enjoyed his company or the things he had to say. There’s a tiny, petty part of you that wants him to know you're here.

"Oh," he says, his voice completely devoid of any emotion, and you're a bit disappointed because you were hoping for a bigger reaction. "Okay. Um. I'm making dinner right now, should I cook for you too? Or are you planning on staying there longer?"

"No, we're done here. I'll be home soon."

"Okay. See you soon then."

"Yeah, bye."

You're left feeling embarrassed by the end of the conversation and the idea of going home is not one you’re excited about. But you can’t hide from Jeongguk forever. When you leave, Minho says goodbye and 'see you in another year', which you flip him the finger for.

When you make it to the apartment, you steel yourself at the door and take a deep breath before sliding your keys in and stepping inside. Jeongguk looks over at you from where he's standing in the kitchen, working on something that smells absolutely amazing. There’s a smile on his face, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

"Hey, you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, loads," you say, walking into the kitchen to see what he's cooking. "You are the best roommate in the world. How did I get so lucky with you?"

This makes him smile for real. "It's almost ready. You hungry?"

"Starving," you say, opening the cabinets above you to take out bowls. It takes another couple minutes until dinner is ready and you settle down at the kitchen table for once rather than plunking down on your bed and watching TV while eating.

"So, how's Minho?" Jeongguk isn't looking at you as he says this.

"I didn't really ask," you say, taking a bite. "We didn't exactly do much talking."

"Right." He doesn't have anything else to add after that and you don't know what else to say so the rest of the meal passes by in silence. You wish you chose to sit on the bed instead so the TV would fill in the awkwardness. Both of you exchange a handful of words before going to bed, but you can't sleep with the way things are with Jeongguk. He didn't do anything to deserve any of this, everything that happened today was because of things going on in your head. You overreacted to something that wasn't there. He's probably in bed wondering what on earth he did, and that isn't sitting right with you. So you get up and pad over to his room, knocking softly before entering.

"You asleep?"

Jeongguk lifts his head. "No. Everything okay?"

You crawl into bed beside him and he holds up the blanket so you can scoot in beside him. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch today."

"You weren't a bitch," he says. In the dark it's hard to make out his figure properly, but you can feel his breath on your face and the warmth of his body. "You just… Did I do something to upset you?"

The confusion and the hurt in his voice makes your heart ache. "No, you didn't do anything. It's just been a weird day. It's all me, but I promise I'm okay. I'm just really sorry."

"Nothing a hug can't fix." The blanket shifts as he lifts his arm and you shuffle closer, wrapping an arm around him. He settles his around you too, holding you the way he's held you for so many years.

"Love you," he says and it breaks your heart knowing it comes from a place of friendship and nothing more.

"Love you too," you say, coming as close to a confession as you ever will.

The proposals start up again and you settle into the familiar rhythm once more. Some of them are short and to the point so you can both get home faster and get some sleep, others are drawn out and you enjoy the evening, sometimes arriving home just before midnight.

Through them all, you still can't help but wonder if he really is seeing other people, so you finally summon the courage to ask. 

"Are you still seeing Yugyeom?"

He doesn't seem phased by your question, thank goodness. "No, that ended a while ago. Just wasn't feeling it."

"Oh. That's too bad," you say. You need more information, so you keep going, careful with the way you word your questions so he doesn't suspect anything. "Maybe you'll find the spark with someone else?"

He smiles wistfully. "Maybe. I've given up on casual shit. It's just not worth it. If I need relief, then hands exist for a reason. But that's not what I'm looking for."

You hit his arm, widening your eyes. "Holy shit, we're in public, you sicko."

"You asked!"

"Not about where you're finding your relief," you whisper. "Jesus."

You can't help but feel a bit pleased with his responses though. He's by no means your boyfriend or anything and he can absolutely see other people if he wants to, but you can't help the jealousy.

When he proposes, he doesn't draw much attention to himself and he keeps the speech concise, speaking quietly. It makes you wonder whether the words really are for you and you alone, if maybe this isn't to get some sort of reaction from other people.

"I promise to always protect you and cherish you, and if I ever do anything to hurt you or upset you, then I promise to always apologize and own up to my wrongs.  I will also always be here whenever you need me and I will support you through everything in life. I promise that I will always keep an open mind and never judge. All your secrets are safe with me. The only thing I ask for in return is your love." He opens a small box with the ring in it. "Will you marry me?"

You nod, unable to say anything through the lump in your throat. He slips the ring on your finger, but then he's doing something that has never been a part of the act. He leans across the table, his fingers touching your chin light as a feather, and then his lips are brushing against yours. Fireworks and alarm bells go off simultaneously in your head as you melt under his feather light touch.

The kiss ends just as soon as it began and you, shocked and confused, search his expression for some sort of explanation. But he doesn't let anything on, his face remaining that of a blissful, newly engaged man.

The feeling of his lips on yours lingers all through the evening and you barely even hear what he says while he speaks, because all you can think about is the kiss. It was so quick and gentle, his lips just barely touching yours, but the memory burns itself into your memory and will be all you can think about for days.

Later that night when you're at home washing dishes from earlier in the day you're still wondering what on earth that was at the restaurant, but Jeongguk still hasn't mentioned it, so you're the one who brings it up.

"About earlier…" Your heart pounds so hard in your chest that you can barely hear yourself speak. "That kiss-"

Before you can finish, he says, "Oh yeah, sorry, it just came to me in the moment. I thought it felt right, you know?"

Sorry. Sorry. His apology is enough of an answer. 

"What did you think?" He asks, his back to you. He hands you a soapy dish and you hand it back. He washes it again and you stow it away. You're grateful he isn't looking at you because you wouldn’t be able to hide your thoughts anymore.

"Just caught me off guard is all," you mumble. "I liked it though. I mean, it sold the whole thing way better. Who gets engaged and doesn't kiss afterward?"

"Should we keep doing it then?"

"Yeah." You're not sure if you'll regret your answer later, but after getting a taste of his lips, you're starving for it to happen again. "Yeah, let’s keep doing it.”

Choa tells you kissing Jeongguk is a Very Bad Idea. Without clear boundaries and rules, things can get complicated and you're putting your heart, and your relationship, at risk. But rather than do the smart thing and listen to her, you ignore her advice, proceeding down the road of self-destruction.

After the kiss, you're excited for every time you go out, just waiting for the next one. They never last longer than a few seconds, but you completely lose yourself in the moment anyway. You get some sort of high from kissing him that you've never felt before and it makes you wonder what it might be like if the kisses lasted longer than a few seconds.

You don't have to wonder for long.

The two of you are on your way home from a proposal when you pass by a group of girls leaving a club, giggling and swaying side to side, clearly already drunk despite how early in the night it is. You come to a stop and gesture towards the club entrance. "You wanna dance?"

"Sure, why not? Got nothing better to do."

You take his hand and pull him inside, the music blaring loudly even from downstairs. It's not the best club in town, but the music is good, the drinks aren't ridiculously expensive, and it usually has a decent crowd. You haven't been clubbing in a while so you quickly start buzzing with excitement once you're pushing past gyrating bodies, your eardrums filled with a vaguely familiar remixed song.

It takes a little while to completely let go and start dancing with total abandon, but once you do, you go hard. Jeongguk gets you a drink, then you get the next round, and the more you drink, the closer you get. Personal space pretty much doesn't exist in clubs, but there still is a certain level of separation between people, unless you invite them to cross that line and invade your space completely. So when Jeongguk's hands start wandering, you don't stop him.

Lights and noise surrounds you, but you're only aware of him and his eyes on you. You're hypnotized by the way he moves his body, lost in the beat, mouthing the lyrics to every song he recognizes, completely in a world of his own.

You end up losing track of time and you're not sure if it's midnight or three in the morning, but it doesn't matter because you don't want this night to end. Every now and then a song from your childhood is played and you both yell along to the words of the song with the rest of the people in the club.

When you need a break, you head over to the bar and sip on some blue concoction of theirs that tastes amazing, but also gets you tipsy fast. Five drinks later and you end up grinding against Jeongguk. He's so close, rubbing up against you, hands low on your hips, and your mind starts wandering places it shouldn't. Your ass brushes against his jeans and you secretly hope that this is having some sort of effect on him. But that also backfires, because the more you grind on him, the more you want to pull him into a dark corner and feel his lips on yours. Really feel them on yours. Those proposal kisses and wonderful, but they never last long enough. You want to know what his tongue feels like against yours, you want to hear him pant and moan, you want to feel him tear your clothes off and touch you in places that will make you beg for more.

You're hyperaware of the fabric of his jeans and your skirt separating you where you're grinding against him. What would it feel like to eliminate that distance? Every time he grinds against you, you become breathless, and you decide that you need to get away from him for a second to clear your head. You may be a little bit tipsy, but it's him, not the alcohol, making you dizzy. These desires have been buried deep inside you all this time, and this night has brought them to the surface. You turn around to tell him you're going to get some water when somebody bumps against you from behind, shoving you roughly into Jeongguk.

He catches you, but in the process his left hand ends up pressed dangerously low against your back and you know it isn't an accident that he doesn’t move it because of how intensely he's staring at your lips. Your gaze flicks to his lips and the desire to kiss them is so strong you think you might actually do it. For once, you’re sure he’s feeling this too. He wants you just as much as you want him, and the thought makes your heart race. You just need to lean forward the tiniest bit, that’s all it will take.

"Y/N," he breathes, your name sounding like a warning that neither of you wants to heed.

"We shouldn't," you say, just barely managing to get the words out of your mouth. Oh, god, but you should.

"Yeah. Or maybe we could."

You find yourself nodding and it takes everything in you not to just shove him against the wall and kiss him right there. But you want more, and you can't do that here. If you start now, you’re not sure you’ll be able to stop.

"Friends do it all the time," you say.

"It'll be harmless."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay. Let's have some fun."

Twenty minutes later you barely manage to get the door open before Jeongguk is pushing you back against it, his mouth finding yours instantly. The scent of his cologne and sweat is intoxicating and his lips taste sweet from the drinks you had earlier. You drop the keys somewhere and run your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer, but not close enough, still not close enough.

"Take your shirt off," you murmur against his lips, fumbling with the belt of his jeans. You don't want to take it slow tonight. You need him now, no fucking around, no slow build up.

He pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it aside before latching onto your neck, sucking a hickey into your skin then running his tongue across it to soothe the ache. Heat pools in your core and your hands roam across the planes of his perfectly toned body. You knew Jeongguk was fit, but never this fit. Clothes always seem like they're about to burst on him, and now you can see why. You've gotten glimpses every now and then in the summer when it just gets too hot for layers of clothing, but this is something else entirely. Getting to really admire him without having to look away makes your head spin. He's too perfect, and he's yours. At least just for tonight.

"Where do you want to do this?" Jeongguk says as he deftly unzips your dress. Even though it's cold in the apartment, you can barely feel it because Jeongguk is so warm and he's all over you.

You step out of the dress, letting it drop to your feet. "Anywhere," you say, and he picks you up, carrying you out of the hallway. "Anywhere, I don't care, I just need you right now."

He sets you down on the kitchen table and the thrill of possibly having sex somewhere that isn't in the bedroom gets you feeling even more heady. You'd fuck him on the cold floor at this point, anything to feel him fill you up.

Jeongguk kisses you again and everything is messy and loud but it's so good and then he roams his fingers over your underwear and it's even better. He presses against your clothed core but it's not enough.

"Touch me," you breathe into his mouth, and he does. His fingers slip under the hem and roam across your folds. You can hear and feel how wet you are, which makes you even more aroused. Feeling brazen, you take Jeongguk's hand and guide it to your clit, showing you the exact pace and pressure you like it. You can feel his hard-on against your leg, straining against his jeans, and you're desperate to touch it and take him in your mouth.

"Take off your bra," he says, and you oblige. He lets out a shaky exhale, admiring you, touching you, exploring you. "God, you're perfect."

He swipes his tongue along your nipple and you draw in a sharp breath, squeezing your eyes shut. But this makes him stop and pull away ever so slightly. "Look at me."

You prop yourself up on your elbows and open your eyes, watching him tease your sensitive buds with his tongue, then his fingers, then his tongue again. He squeezes your breasts, taking them into his mouth all the while circling his middle finger over your clit lightly, pushing you to the edge then pulling you back again. Then, just when you think you can't take anymore, he dips into your underwear once more and passes one digit over your folds, sinking further inside you, dipping in and out at a maddeningly slow pace. His palm brushes against your clit and you let out a restrained moan.

"You're so fucking wet," Jeongguk says, adding another finger. He gives you a second to adjust before resuming the same pace. You pull him down towards you, kissing him open-mouthed, your tongues colliding, and he adds his final finger that has you whimpering his name over and over. He pumps his fingers, watching you unravel underneath him, and you feel the edge hurtling closer and closer so you pull his hand away, breathing heavily.

"Wait a second," you say, panting. Sweat has begun to bead across your skin and you're sure you look like a complete wreck. "I'm gonna come before you even have the chance to fuck me."

His pupils are wide with lust and he nods, clearly having to force himself to regain at least a shred of self-control.

You push him back and ease yourself off the table, dropping to your knees in front of him. He curses as you unzips his jeans and tug them down. Your heart pounds at being so close to him and you know you're crossing a limit that can't be undone, but you don't care. It’s too late for you anyway.

You palm him through his underwear, keeping your eyes locked on his the entire time. His breaths come uneven, losing himself slowly but surely to your touch. You inch down the fabric and bite your lip at the sight of his length. You spit on your hand, then wrap it around his cock and begin to move it up and down. He lets out a groan and you pick up the pace, jerking him faster and fondling his balls with your other hand. Jeongguk has to lean back against the table, as though his legs might give out, which only boosts your confidence. You swipe your tongue along his length, licking the tip infuriatingly, swirling around it, then add your other hand and pump him with both.

"Holy shit, you're so good at that," he says, so as a thank you, you finally give him what he really wants and lower your mouth over his head. You bob back and forth, giving your jaw time to get used to his width. When it does, you go further, choking and pulling back to regain your breath, then go back down again. Jeongguk threads his fingers through your hair, drawing you back, his grip firm but gentle.

"Can you take it?" He asks, his voice strained. He's coming undone just like you, and the sight is so beautiful.

"I'll try." You relax your jaw and let him guide you as far as you can go, feeling his head press against the back of your throat. Tears well up in your eyes and the feeling of him inside your mouth makes you even more wet. You pull back with a gasp and he hauls you up, tasting himself on your mouth.

"I want you inside of me," you say, shakily stripping out of your underwear so you're completely naked in front of him.

"Say that again," he says, brushing his lips across your jawline, tugging at your earlobe with his teeth. "Please, say that again."

You're practically shaking with need, you'd do anything at this point to get what you want. "Jeon Jeongguk, I want you to fuck me as hard as you can. I want to feel you inside of me right now."

"Jesus, okay." He takes your hand and you follow him into his room. He fumbles in his bedside table drawer and fishes out a condom. You help open the wrapper, even though your hands are quivering, and place it over his cock. He lies beneath you and you straddle his waist, lining him up with your entry.

"You're sure, right?" Jeongguk says before you can do anything, and the question stirs that feeling inside you that’s been driving you mad for months. You peck his lips softly and nod, then sink yourself down onto him. The both of you let out a moan and you pause, adjusting to how big he is. Once you're ready, you begin to move, slowly at first, enjoying the feeling of his length sliding in and out of you. Your fingers move down to your clit and he watches everything you do, holding onto your waist as you ride him. Wet sounds fill the room as well as the sound of your skin slapping against eachother, growing louder and faster as you pick up the pace.

"Let me fuck you," he says, so you lean forward, propping your arms up on either side of him, and he begins to pound into you from below fast, but not fast enough to hurt. Your breasts bounce with each of his thrusts and he reaches up with one hand to fondle them, brushing his fingers across your hard nipples. At one point he pulls back too far and slips out, so you reach down and pump him, settling down on his hips again, his dick against your soaking folds. You glide yourself over him, grinding and swirling your hips around his cock. Eventually his patience for your teasing runs out and he grabs you, flipping you over so he's on top now. He spreads your legs apart and slips back inside you, thrusting at a steady rhythm. This new angle hits you in all the right spots and you have to reel yourself in to keep from falling over the edge. He runs his hands over your thighs, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their path, and you admire all his muscles pulled taut as he plows into you.

Jeongguk's closes his eyes and bites his lip, gripping onto your legs tightly. You know he's close, so you say, "Come for me. I know you want to. Come for me, Jeongguk."

He shakes his head and pulls out. "You first."

Jeongguk moves down on the bed so he's between your legs, pressing the gentlest kisses inside your thighs, spreading you apart. He leans down and presses his tongue flat against your slit, tasting you at last.

"You taste amazing," he says, giving you butterflies in your stomach. He keeps watching you, gauging your reactions every time he dips his tongue inside you. He moves up slightly and begins to lick and play with your clit, which sends a different kind of pleasure through your body. He mimics the same technique you showed him earlier, but with his tongue, and the moans spill out of your mouth uncontrolled and loud and begging for relief. He dips two fingers inside you, startling you and sending more heat to your core. You can't anymore and you feel your orgasm building, just out of reach.

"Come, Y/N. Come all over my fingers," he says and finally you do. Waves of pleasure slam into you and your entire body trembles, your walls squeezing around the fingers he still has inside you. He leaves a kiss just underneath your jaw, allowing you to catch your breath.

"You are incredible," you say with a laugh, kissing him one more time. When your body has stopped shaking, you move down on the bed, remove the condom, and sink your mouth down onto his cock, bobbing up and down, one hand twisting and pulling at the same time. You take him as deep as you can, choking and coughing, sucking and licking. You focus special attention on the tip and look up at him with big, lustful eyes, encouraging him to come. You swipe your tongue over his slit and he lets himself spill into your mouth, gripping the bedsheets as he groans at his release. You swallow every last bit and he stares at you with complete awe, which for some preposterous reason makes you shy, even after you just bared your entire body to him.

You can feel reality set back in again and you're not sure what to do now. Do you stay and cuddle? Is that appropriate? Or do you go back to your room and pretend nothing happened? But Jeongguk steps in and saves you, delaying reality just a tad longer.

"Shower?" He says.

You nod. Once in the bathroom, Jeongguk climbs into the shower with you, taking the loofah and body wash as you adjust the temperature. You turn to him as the water streams down your face and he runs the loofah across your body so gently it gives you tingles. You're afraid to make any sudden movements or to say anything in case it shatters the moment and he leaves. So you let him lather shampoo into your hair, massage your scalp, and you return the favour (he has to squat a little bit so you can reach the top of his head). When it's all over, you feel like your heart might explode from whatever it's feeling and you know whatever this is has to stop right now. You’ve denied for so long that you can handle this, that you’re in control, but the truth is you’re not. It’s time for you to end this here.

"I'm going to blowdry my hair," you say, pretending you're too busy adjusting the towel over your chest to look at him. You rarely blowdry your hair because you want to avoid heat damage as much as possible, and you're sure Jeongguk knows it. The monstrosity only fills your apartment with its incessant noise when you're in a rush or… You're in a rush. Now is not one of those times.

"Okay," he finally says. He steps out of the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him. When he's out, you let out a deep breath, shaking your head at yourself. The worst part of this is that you want it to happen again. But it can't. And you're beginning to think maybe the proposals really do need to stop. You're getting too invested in him in ways that are more than friendly. So you tell yourself that after a few more proposals, you'll end it. Things will go back to the way they were and you'll get over these honeynut feelios.

To keep up your lie, you really do blowdry your hair. When you come out of the bathroom Jeongguk's bedroom door is closed.

The realization of what you’d done with Jeongguk hits you even harder in the morning. You get up and almost leave your room, but freeze, holding the door handle. What if he's out there? What will you say to him? You need somebody else's input on this so you call Taehyung. He picks up on the first ring.

"Hey, what's up?"

You open up your wardrobe and sort through what to wear, taking your time. You keep your voice quiet, in case Jeongguk is out there. It's immature and silly, but fuck it. "You busy?"

"Nah, you wanna hang?"

"Yeah, I need to talk to you about something."

A pause.

"Is this something Jeongguk?"

Of course he would know. Taehyung is very perceptive, it's nearly impossible to lie to him. Sure, he has a carefree and airy attitude, but underneath that is so much more depth. Sometimes Tae is the first person you go to with a problem, sometimes he's the last because there's no bullshitting with him. At the end of the day he'll know if something is up.

"Maybe…"

"That means yes. Okay, you want me to come over?"

"I need to get out of the house, can we meet at Starbucks?"

In about twenty minutes, you're sitting with Taehyung by the window in Starbucks, munching on one of their sandwiches. The change of scenery is nice and helps clear your head, just a little bit. Jeongguk left just seconds after your phone call with Taehyung, so you were able to get ready and get out of the house without having to deal with what happened the night before. Honestly, you just want to pretend it never happened and avoid any conversations that will make you want to crawl in a hole and die.

Taehyung raises his eyebrows. "So? What's going on?"

You set the sandwich down and ponder over how to word what happened, but you don't even have to because something about your expression makes Taehyung figure it out instantly.

"Ohmygod, you didn't," Taehyung says. He leans forward across the table and lowers his voice. "You totally slept with him, didn't you?" He takes your lack of response as confirmation. "Ohmygod. Holy shit. How was it?"

"Tae."

He holds his hands up innocently. "Sorry, sorry. Were you two drunk again? I told something always happens when you drink-"

"We weren't drunk,” you say, frowning. “And what the hell is that supposed to mean? You think he'd only sleep with me if he were wasted?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, you know that's not what I'm saying. What does this mean then? Are you two... Dating? Or friends with benefits…?"

You sigh. "I don't know. I don't want this to get messy."

"Y/N," Tae begins, "This got messy the instant you started that fake proposal BS. And now letting him put his penis inside you made it even messier."

"You're not helping."

"Maybe not, but it's what you need to hear. Your real friends should tell you shit the way it is," Taehyung says. He hesitates before asking his next question. "Y/N… What do you really feel for Jeongguk?"

You look down at your sandwich, chewing on the inside of your lip. What do you really feel? Things have definitely changed. But can they change back? Can things be the same as they were before, even after everything that's happened? You want to believe they can, but you're not sure. Things crossed an irreversible line last night, both in terms of your relationship and your feelings, and it’s time to start undoing the damage you created.

The problem is that you can't help imagining what it might be like if Jeongguk doesn't want this to end. If he wants more, just like you do. You can't help but imagine the other changes that could happen. Maybe you'd both start sleeping in one bedroom all the time, maybe showering together would be a common occurrence, and maybe those fleeting touches wouldn't be so accidental anymore and would become a normal part of the day.

"I don't know," you finally say. "I don't know what I feel. And not knowing what he feels isn't helping either."

"But you won't talk to him about it in case he doesn't feel anything back. In a non-friendly way."

You nod. "What if… What if you asked?"

Taehyung purses his lips, considering his answer. "I could. But, Y/N, if I do then you know he's going to know you're the one really asking. And then you'll really have to face up to this. I can do it, but you won't really be getting anything out of it."

You groan, rubbing your eyes in frustration. It's like being in middle school all over again, trying to figure out if the guy you have a crush on has a crush on you without being obvious (even though you were obvious as hell), except this is the adult world and it feels ten times more infuriating.

"Okay, thanks, Tae. Don't worry about it. I'll talk to him eventually. If I need to." He raises his eyebrows. "I might get over this, you never know."

Taehyung doesn't look like he believes you in the slightest, but blessedly he doesn't voice his thoughts. "And the proposals?"

"Just a few more. Then we're done. I promise."

Nothing happens for a few weeks and life returns to the way it used to be. You try to be more social, interacting with your friends more than ever before. They keep you grounded, and little by little you feel like you're returning to your old self again. The craziness in your head subsides and you can begin to look at Jeongguk in a way that doesn't make you ache or yearn for more. The yearning is still there, but you're coming to accept that things are never going to be more. You can't expect anything from him that he doesn't want. It's not fair for you or him.

Neither of you mention what happened, nor do you mention the proposals for a little while because you're too busy with other things. There's just no time to squeeze in an evening at a restaurant, and even if there were, neither of you really has the energy to. It's just as nice, if not better, to lounge on the bed wearing your ratty clothing eating take out.

Jeongguk is the first one to bring the proposals up again.

"Can we stop the proposals?" He says one day while you're shopping for groceries.

Your heart drops even though you knew this was coming; you were just hoping they would peter out as things got busy. Then you could believe that things ended because of other causes, not because either of you wanted to stop them.

"Yeah, sure." You try to seem nonchalant about it.

"I just…" Jeongguk's eyes search yours, looking for something. He doesn't find whatever he's searching for, because his poker face is back up and you can't read him anymore. "I'm running out of ideas. It's kind of getting redundant, don't you think?"

His words hurt and you feel your smile waver. You hope he doesn't notice. "Yeah, I totally get it. It had to end eventually, right? I was thinking about talking to you about it anyway."

Despite the fact that he's the one who suggested ending this, he looks… Sad.

"Do you… Do you maybe want to do it one more time? Go somewhere swanky and spoil ourselves, just to end it with a bang," you suggest.

Jeongguk's face brightens a little bit. "Yeah. I'd like that."

The final proposal is in two weeks. Jeongguk makes a reservation at some disgustingly overpriced restaurant that has a crazy amount of five star reviews online. After a very long conversation with them, he somehow manages to get a reservation that doesn't require two months of waiting.

While Jeongguk is out with Namjoon one day, you invite Choa over so she can help you decide what to wear. You want the night to be special, and since you're going to a nice restaurant you have to look your best.

"So it's really ending, huh?" Choa says, sprawled out on your bed.

"Yeah," you say, pulling out your old prom dress. You turn around and hold it up. "Would this be too weird?"

She makes a face. "Too noughties. I thought you'd gotten rid of that thing already."

You gasp and hug the dress close to your chest. "You kidding me? There are two items of clothing you can never get rid of: your prom dress and your wedding dress."

"Honey, you are way too sentimental. I sold my prom dress for two hundred bucks when I was broke. Never regretted it. But you do you."

You go through your closet some more and pull out two more dresses, a black pinup style dress and a red bandage dress.

"Close your eyes," you say.

"Seriously? It's not like I haven't seen your naked ass before," She says, but closes her eyes anyway.

You put on the black dress first and slip into a pair of heels to give the full effect. "Okay, open."

Choa sweeps her eyes over you, tilting her head to the side. "It's pretty. But it depends what effect you're going for."

"I'm not really sure what effect I'm going for. Let me try the second one on and we'll decide." Choa closes her eyes once more and you put on the red dress, enjoying the way it settles over your body. Dresses like these are unforgiving in that they accentuate every bump and curve, but they also give you this high of confidence, even if you have a food baby busting out underneath the fabric. You've always felt incredibly sexy in this dress, but Jeongguk has never seen you in it. The thought of his reaction excites you and you know you're set on this dress.

You tell Choa to open her eyes and you can tell she likes this dress much more.

"What do you think?"

Choa opens his mouth, then closes it, considering what to say. "Well… Let me say this. If I were Jeongguk, I'd probably have a raging boner underneath the table the entire night. I mean, I'd bang you if I didn’t have Hyejeong. Just saying."

You grin. "So this is the dress, then."

"This is the dress."

The night of the final proposal finally arrives and your body is filled with butterflies the entire day. You can barely focus on work and when the day is over at last, you run as fast as you can in your heels to the bus stop, your leg bouncing anxiously the entire way home. Jeongguk calls you right as you're walking through the door to let you know he's on his way.

You have forty minutes to get ready, so you take the quickest shower in human history, put on makeup, and attempt to do your hair as nicely as possible in limited time. Jeongguk arrives just as you're stepping out of the bathroom and you rush into your room yelling, "Don't look at me until I'm all ready!"

He laughs and calls after you, "Why not?"

"It's a surprise!" You slam the door and pull on the dress. You almost trip over when you put on your heels, but manage to catch yourself against the wall before you give yourself a black eye.

Jeongguk knocks on your door a few minutes later. "You ready?"

You take a deep breath and open the door, donning your most dazzling smile. "Ready."

The look Jeongguk gives you makes your heart skip a bit. Or three. He seems to realize he's staring and clears his throat, not quite able to meet your eyes.

"You look nice," he says and the strangled way he has to force out his words tell you this was the right dress to wear. The taxi ride over to the restaurant is a short one and you almost can't believe how fancy the place is when you see it. The wait staff are all smiles, treating you like you're the queen or something. The colour scheme is all gold and white, beautiful decorations adorning the interior, and a large chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Each couple sitting at their tables look like they're in their own world, and you can understand why. Somehow this place is like stepping into another world where you can forget about everything outside the front door, just for a little while. There's a platform tucked into a corner where a man plays a grand piano, filling the room with classical music.

You're guided to your table where the waiter actually pulls out your seat for you and places the cloth napkin on your lap.

The menu is small and you don't understand what half the options mean, so you order whatever makes the most sense to you and hope for the best. For the price you're paying, anything must taste nice. And it does. Your main arrives thirty minutes after your appetizer and you swear the food somehow melts in your mouth. You have to stop yourself from making inappropriate noises at one point after a woman sitting at a table nearby casts you a look.

You eat your meal slowly, savouring each taste and prolonging the night as much as you can. When your plates are cleared, you lay your palm facing up on the table and Jeongguk takes it. The warmth of his hand against yours is so familiar and feels so much like home.

"I'm going to miss this," you admit.

"Nothing is going to change," Jeongguk says, but it doesn't look like he believes it. In these kinds of moments you share something that you don't share anywhere else. And once they're gone, whatever that something is goes away too. "I'll still be right here."

"Yeah, but…" You sigh, unsure how to finish.

"I know," he says, and you believe he does. 

You reach across the table and brush away a strand of hair out of his face. He watches you in such an unwavering way that makes you hold your breath as your fingers graze his cheek and that's when you know you're in love with him. You’re in love with him and you probably have been for months. 

A strange calm settles over you because now you finally know how you feel and it’s a truly beautiful feeling. The realization makes your heart pound but before you even have time to process it, dessert arrives and the act has to go on.

Jeongguk holds out his spoon for you to taste his dish, and you do the same for him. Suddenly everything seems to burn brighter and feels like the first time. Every touch leaves you a little bit breathless, every time he laughs makes your heart surge, and every time he looks at you completely lose yourself in him all over again.

But he’s never going to know. And you need him to. You need to tell him, even if it’s all for show and he goes home believing it was part of the final proposal. You need to tell him how you feel or you’ll never forgive yourself for not trying. After all these months of torment and confusion, you have to set yourself free. 

"Let me do it," you say, unable to stop the words from coming out of your mouth.

Jeongguk frowns. "Do what?"

"Propose. Let me propose." If you can't really tell him how you feel, you can at least tell him in a lie. You can make this last day count.

"Are you sure?"

You nod quickly and approach a waitress, asking if it would be possible for the pianist to stop playing for just a few moments. She looks confused, but she asks anyway and the man stops playing, also looking confused. You're so nervous that it makes you stomach twist like a bagel, but you take Jeongguk's hands and guide him to the platform. He's staring at you wide-eyed, unsure what exactly you're trying to do. Honestly, you're not sure either, but you just know you need to do this.

There are a few tables looking at you, trying to figure out if you're just being a nuisance or if you're entertainment (probably the former, but whatever), so you say, "Um, excuse me?" More heads turn. Fuck, maybe this was a horrible idea. Too late to turn back now. 

"Hi, sorry to interrupt your dinner, but I just needed to say something to this man here and I only need a minute of your time." You turn to Jeongguk, squeezing his hands in yours. Your voice shakes, but you plough on. 

"Jeongguk, we first met when we were in second grade and we’ve been inseparable since. I think about that day so often and about how you came to my rescue then, and how you continue to today. I was new to town and it was the middle of the school semester. I was so scared. I was scared I wasn't going to make any friends and when the teacher told me to introduce myself to class I started crying like a baby. It was embarrassing and horrible and I wanted to go home, but then you got up, walked on over to me, took my hand, and said 'I'll be your friend'. And everything was better. Because that's what you do, you make everything better in the world and nothing is too scary when you're there.

"I don't know where this is going, but I just needed you to know that when I look at you, it's like the freaking stars align and everything bad in the world goes quiet. I've always hated clichés, but being with you, I can understand where they come from. You’re the kindest soul I have ever met and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without you. You inspire me with your bravery and your selflessness and you make me want to be more. I don’t know who I would be without you, and I honestly don’t want to know. 

“What I’m trying to say is I love you." Tears prick your eyes and you let them fall even though you're standing in a bunch of strangers probably making a complete fool out of yourself. "I love you and I want to continue to love you for the rest of my life. Let me love you, let me protect you, let me support you through everything you do. Marry me, Jeongguk. Marry me and I promise you-"

Jeongguk doesn't let you finish. He pulls you in for a kiss, hard, yet oh so gentle, and salty from your tears, but still perfect. When he draws back he says, "Yes. Yes, of course I'll marry you. I love you. I love you, I only need you."

He kisses you again, softer this time, and people start clapping, drawing you out of your reverie. You laugh when you finally face everyone, wiping away your tears as carefully as possible in case there's any makeup left to salvage. Two couples offer their congratulations and your waiter brings over a glass of champagne, opening it with a loud pop and saying it's on the house, but you really don't care about the free food anymore. This isn't about trying to get out of paying. This was for you and for him and that's all that matters.

You don’t exchange many words for the rest of the night, but there’s no need to. Somehow, the two of you communicate what you’re feeling without uttering a single word. But every now and then Jeongguk looks at you it's like he wants to tell you something and he's about to, but he never goes through with it. 

He holds your hand for the remainder of the night, even in the taxi ride home and the elevator ride up to your floor. He only lets go when you step inside and with the faint click of the door, the illusion is over. That was really it. That was the last proposal. Your heart sinks a little at the thought, but you're happy they ended on a good note. They couldn’t have come to a close any better and you're glad that you finally got out everything you were feeling, even if your words ultimately mean nothing to him.

You drop your bag to the floor as soon as the door is closed and kick your heels off, letting out the loudest sigh of relief now that your feet aren't in those torture devices. You hang your coat up and head for your room to get into more comfortable clothing.

"Man, not to pat myself on the back, but I think I fucking killed it today," you say. "I'm just gonna change, one sec."

You slip out of the dress and hang onto it for a moment before putting it away. You're always going to remember this night whenever you wear it. You close the closet door, but don’t leave your room. Not yet. You need a second to recompose yourself after baring yourself emotionally. If you were told before the proposals that this is where you would be and this is what would happen, you wouldn’t believe it for a second. You never would have guessed that you would fall for Jeongguk and that you would tell him. Sure, you told him in a proposal, but you still told him. And you would do it all again in a heartbeat. Even with all the pain and confusion, you wouldn’t take it back. Because through all of this you got to see sides of Jeongguk you would’ve never seen before and you would never get to feel this kind of love for him. Your life changed because of one decision in ways you couldn’t imagine. With Jeongguk’s help, you’ve become more confident and stronger. So with this strength you make another decision. After tonight, you’re going to love him enough to let him go.

Jeongguk is still in his formalwear when you step out of your room, but he has loosened his tie a little bit. You join him by the window, gazing out at the city below. 

You realize Jeongguk hasn't said anything in a while and glance over at him. He's chewing on his lip, deep in thought. You hold out a hand and he takes it. His thumb brushes against the back of your hand. After all these proposals, touching like this has become second nature. If there’s anything you’re going to miss most, it’s this.

"This proposal thing was a fun idea. Can you believe how many we've done already? Jeez, proposing after this is going to be a breeze. I give you permission to copy my proposal if you must." You watch the lights outside blink in and out, red, yellow, blue. Even at this time, the roads have plenty of cars and people are still out and about. "I'll bet you someone is going to steal today's proposal and use it as inspiration. I wouldn't blame them though, honestly. It was pretty freaking great considering it was unscripted."

"I love you."

You smile, thinking nothing of what he just said. "I love you too."

"No," he says, shaking his head quickly. "No, Y/N, I mean… I mean I'm in love with you."

You face him and every thought in your brain goes silent. His thumb has stopped moving and his eyes are burning with urgency. "What?" You say. You're so sure you must have misheard him, he didn't just say what you thought he did.

"Y/N," he repeats, stepping closer to you, "I love you."

"Jeongguk, there's no audience, what're you talking about?"

He drops your hand and runs his fingers through his hair. You notice that he's shaking. He's nervous. Really nervous. 

"These fake proposals, they started as something fun,” he says, “But somewhere along the way, they started to feel real. I wasn't sure if you were feeling it too, if you wanted it to be real, but I can't do this anymore. I can't look at you and pretend to be in love with you then act like nothing happened. Because I am in love with you. I finally felt that spark, and I felt it with you. And I think you felt it too. What you said today, that wasn't just for the proposal, was it?"

Your heart is pounding so hard you can barely even hear the whirlwind of thoughts going through your head. Jeongguk is in love with you. Jeon Jeongguk, is in love with you. 

"No, it wasn't." You voice shakes and you're not sure why. A part of you is afraid, another part is extremely bewildered, but an even bigger part is trembling with elation for what this might mean.

"Tell me what you're thinking so I know I'm not making this up," Jeongguk says, stepping forward, leaving no room between the two of you. You're certain he has to be able to hear your heartbeat. "Tell me you feel this too and we can stop pretending. I love you, Y/N."

Everything you've wanted for the last few months can finally be yours. After months of loving him in silence, of believing things could never work out, you can finally tell the truth. No more pretending. So you drop the act and with four words, everything in your life changes again.

"I love you too."