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un2-verse · 4 years ago

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BILLY — Kim Taehyung (1)

》 News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right? 《

pairings: john kramer!taehyung x female reader

warnings: dark themes, angst, yandere, murder, torture, self harm, suicide, stalking etc.... (will add more when i know lol) although it is rather innocent in the first couple chapters(?) so idk it could be slow burn but i guess we’ll find out as i write it >< ,, it’s my version of saw if saw was a fucked up love story lol. Please don’t read if any of the topics mentioned trigger you!! 18+

this fic is exactly that, fiction!!!! the au does not represent the characters mentioned irl......

synopsis: you end up lost on the other side of town, where you cross paths with a handsome stranger, kim taehyung, only.... are you a stranger to him?

[a/n: daffodils represent; love me, sympathy, desire and affection returned...]

word count: 3k

series masterlist

part two

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Hiding behind a mask was something you were accustomed to. Your friend group and family were clueless to the torment you endured from simply existing. You were confident your masking had convinced the world you were happy with yourself. Unbeknown to you, one other person saw straight through your façade.

You wanted to end your life.

He needed you to cherish your life.

Nothing looked familiar. The café you frequented was nowhere to be found. Your usual hangout was most definitely not on the side of town you found yourself in. You felt anxiety slowly curl its way around your body, you were frigid. You tried and tried but couldn’t find it in yourself to run.

You lived in the more friendly part of town (so to speak) – where houses were colourful, gardens pristine, warm-hearted neighbours who would treat you like family and white picket fences are what surrounded you. That was your norm, sure, you weren’t exactly loaded but you weren’t exactly poor either. It was a healthy balance in the middle. That’s not to say you hadn’t lived or seen this side of town before.

Your Mother and Father had grown up on this side of the fence. Two young people brought up in the rougher, more unfortunate areas. Your Mother was tough; she looked like a naïve, weak girl, albeit that was not the case. She was strong willed, used to life on the streets and doing anything she could to get money to make sure there was at least some food on the table. While your Mum was the leader, your Dad was more of a sheep. He was easily influenced and was dragged into the wrong crowd (had his fair share with drugs and street racing). That was their life for a few years till they crossed paths and your Mum helped your Dad get back on the right track.

They didn’t tell you much about their childhood and adolescence but they told you enough to make you appreciate what you have and to always work hard for it. To stick with the right people, be wise and conscious of your decisions. Be kind to those around you.

Your family owned a garage; your Dad was the head mechanic. This was the sole reason you were here. You knew it wouldn’t be simple when you agreed to go to this side of town to get a few bits for your Father’s shop. However, you didn’t expect it to be this difficult. How could you be so stupid? Why didn’t you just ask Hoseok and Yoongi to come with you like your father told you to? Or at least tell them where you were… yet you decided today of all days to be stubborn and venture on yourself, knowing full well how unsafe the area was. There were rundown businesses on either side of the road, beggars at every doorstep; drug dealings happening in broad daylight, no one even trying to hide it.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, you took it out and sighed a breath of relief once you’d read the texts.

14:37— From Papa: U ok munchkin ??? Did u get the stuff ?

14:39— From Papa: its ok if u didnt. Yoongs rang said hes got majority this morning lol so be safe n get home soon . Love u

14:40— To Papa: ohhh ok pops, i couldn’t find the shop anyway lol i’ll head back soon, love u too x

*LOW BATTERY*

“Fuck, trust me to forget to charge the bastard.” You rolled your eyes as you stuffed the phone back in your pocket.

Muffled shouting was heard around you. People ran across the street, bumping into you as they ran past. You gathered yourself and moved further down the path. “Great!” you exasperated, “honestly I’m so fucking stupid! Yoongi’s gonna kill me for this, I knew, I knew I should’ve told him I was coming over here but no,” your head was hung low as you dragged your feet across the pavement, “maybe I could tell Hobi, he wouldn’t be as angry right? I’m sure he’ll come,“ A sudden scream ripped you out of your chuntering. You whipped your head to the right, you could make out some figures bustling about in front of you, a group of men were quite clearly fighting… your anxiety struck you and you held your breath as you saw a man pull a knife from the waistband of his sweatpants. All thoughts and common sense seemed to leave all at once. Statue like, feet stuck to the ground. You watched on as the group rushed towards the brown haired man, you scanned his figure: tall, broad, confident… he exuded an intimidating aura even when you were this far away from him.

How could someone be so sure of themselves? It was one against five, surely the loner had no chance?

The glistening of the knife brought you back to your senses. Fucking hell. How do you always end up in these situations when you’re alone? Why me? Why? Good Lord, I need to run. Just as you were about to leave, the group who were arguing charged past you; one gripped his side as another supported his weight. Holy fuck, did he stab him? you stood frozen, yet again, your mind raced a mile a minute. Panic bubbled in your chest.

“You okay there Doll?” His voice was deep, velvet-like. It flowed so smoothly you doubted it was real, it was so soothing like it had wrapped itself around you, embracing your body. You heard his footsteps before he planted himself beside you. His shoulder reached the top of your head, his hand brushed yours. Swallowing your nerves you dared a glance up. He was fucking breath-taking, like a fallen angel. The stranger shot you a small smile that you would’ve easily missed had you not been staring at his features… a blush crept up your neck as you nodded. His smile slowly twisted into a smirk.

Cute, Taehyung thought to himself. Couldn’t help but adore the way you slightly trembled under his gaze, the way your hands gripped and twisted your sweater paws. Almost like a puppy. He cleared his throat and reached his hand to yours, “Sorry, I should’ve introduced myself. I’m Taehyung.” you took his hand into yours, apprehensively you greeted him, “I’m Y/N.”

“Ah, Y/N. I haven’t seen you round here before, you new or something?” Taehyung cocked his head to the side, his eyes seemed to stare right through you.

“Uhm, I don’t live here. I live over the other part of Town… I was just grabbing some stuff for my Dad but, my phones about to die. I have no idea where I am or how to get home, I’m sorry, I promise I didn’t see anything!” a deep chuckle cut you off, Taehyung smiled and beckoned you to follow him.

“Come on Y/N, you’re not suited for this side of Town, I’ll walk you back. A pretty little thing like you, you’re easy prey to these guys.” your feet fell into a cautious pace behind him, he glanced over his shoulder, “hurry up Buttercup, I don’t bite.” Taehyung flashed a boxy grin in your direction, which caused you to speed up ever so slightly.

You were unsure how you felt about letting a complete stranger walk you home, Yoongi would definitely kill you for this. Especially with the recent news of some serial killer named ‘Jigsaw’, Yoongi and Hoseok had been very stern and their usual, overprotective selves when the news had broken out. “It’s on every headline Y/Nie! No more leaving the house on yourself, you need to go anywhere you ring either of us. Got it? Don’t talk to anyone you don’t know either. There’s some dodgy fucks about recently.” Although, you loved them dearly, sometimes their protectiveness was a...little overbearing. You already felt suffocated from your parents (you didn’t need it from your best friends as well). They were happy and believed you to be too; but that was exhausting, faking happiness. You had a constant façade, acted like a happy normal teenager with a happy family; when that was far from the truth.

Drowning. That’s how you’d explain the way you felt. Breathing was difficult and brought you more pain than it was worth. Growing up was tedious, you had grown differently to your peers which only brought ridicule and embarrassment for you. You had struggled with your speech (sometimes you still do), you often stuttered, mispronounced words, the list was endless. That was one of the first reasons you were a castaway. As you grew, the ridicule worsened. Verbal abuse turned physical from your classmates. They made you feel like you were a waste of space. The names they called you, you soon started to believe them. Ugly. Weird. Freak. Stupid. They took root in your brain, slowly they grew and grew till your head was overgrown with twisted, rotten weeds.

Eventually, you sought comfort in blood. You didn’t care that it hurt you; you were almost happy to feel pain. Like you deserved to.

By age 14, you had started to skip school. Only ever there for exams and a couple of art classes you had with Jeongguk. He was what you would’ve called a best friend, he supported you and was by your side till you left school. He went away to college and like always with school friends, you drifted apart. Nevertheless, he still texts you now and then to check in.

Although you were (once) close with Jeongguk. He never knew of your inner demons, the same with Yoongi and Hoseok. You didn’t want to feel like a burden and worry your friends when they had shit to worry about themselves.

Why devastate flowers that flourish beautifully with weeds that manage to twist their way around every crack?

You had walked for a few minutes now, having chatted absentmindedly about anything and everything. The roads still didn’t look familiar to you and you just wished they did, you didn’t want to be away from your home any longer, your feet were starting to ache, your phone was on 10% battery and it was fucking cold. You just wanted to be back in bed tucked up watching Lady and the Tramp or 101 Dalmatians for the millionth time. You felt safe and content when you indulged in your comfort films. Far away from the real world and wrapped up in the false reality. They easily distracted you and that's when you truly felt at peace. Your mind was always too busy thinking about how cute it was when Tramp calls Lady, Pidge or how in love Pongo and Perdy were.

Majority of the time you fantasised about having a love similar, but then again, why would you wanna make yourself vulnerable like that? Is the risk of being hurt (more than you are now) any good? Of course it’s not. Fuck that, life isn’t nothing like those shitty romance films or novels… It’s real and painful.

As you and Taehyung rounded the corner, a little cafe caught your eye, a dainty blue and pink building. Fairy Lights strung up around the windows, you could see a handful of people inside, busy sipping their drinks and chatting away to one another. ‘Aroma Mocha’ hung above the doors. It looked so cute and simple. Your previous thoughts left your mind as quick as they had come. You wanted to go inside, it had an enticing atmosphere.

Taehyung hadn’t realised you’d stopped walking until he couldn’t hear the soft thud of your footsteps behind him, he turned as he called out to you, your eyes still fixed on the cafe. He chuckled to himself, “Fucking adorable, like a kid at christmas,” he walked back over to you. “Hey Doll, you wanna go in?” He felt his heart quicken when you looked at him with those pretty eyes, “We’ve plenty of time to get you back before it’s dark angel.” You answered him with a nod as you turned your head from Taehyung to look back at the alluring little cafe.

Not a second had passed before Taehyung grabbed your hand and pulled you across the road to the entrance; you ignored the warmth of his hand as it intertwined with yours; you ignored the way your tummy erupted with butterflies. Taehyung had stopped to hold the door for you, you murmured a small, “thank you,” looking up at him, the heat that crept up your cheeks making your face resemble that of a doll’s he thought to himself. Once he ushered you fully inside, he placed his hand to rest on the curve of your waist as he guided you to the back corner of the room, where a quaint table for two was unoccupied, a little pot of Daffodils sat atop. How fitting...

Taehyung was quick to pull the chair out for you to take a seat, you pulled it in as you sat down and sent a shy smile his way, “I’m sorry, I know we just met Taehyung but this place is so fucking precious! I hope I’m not bothering you, if I am we can just carry on walking or, I could ring a Taxi? Is this weird? Oh god, I can’t believe--”, Taehyung threw his head back as he laughed, a sound that seemed to wrap its way around your soul, twisting around your heart in the nicest of ways, it was almost like a killer to the weeds taking over your body. A temporary release. You felt like you could really breathe in those short seconds of his laughter.

“Angel, if you were bothering me, I’d have kept on walking. That, or I would’ve called you a Taxi myself, it’s no problem honestly.” You ducked your head as he sent a wink your way, fuck sake Y/N get it together! Why are you acting like a fucking schoolgirl?

“Well I uh, appreciate it so, yeah thank you?” You don’t know what to do, you’re here with the most gorgeous person you’ve ever laid your eyes on… yet you have no clue if what you saw was real, did Taehyung stab someone? Could someone have had the knife who wasn’t Taehyung? Was he even the person you saw in that altercation? Did you imagine everything that had gone off?

Before you had chance to overthink it, a light bubbly voice greeted your ears, “Hi! Welcome to Aroma Mocha, I’m Jimin and I’ll be your server today. Is there anything I can get you?” Jimin held his gaze on you as he flashed you a friendly smile, Taehyung turned around at the sound of his best friend, “Oh, Tae! I wasn’t expecting to see you today, what are you doing here? And who’s this pretty little lady?”

“This is Y/Nie, she was in the neighbourhood so we thought we’d nip in for something to drink before I take her back to hers.” you sent a warm smile to Jimin which he gladly returned, “I’ll have my usual and can you get Y/Nie a Strawberry Iced Tea? Thanks man.”

Once Jimin had disappeared to make your drinks, you shot your eyes to Taehyung, “Uhm, how’d you know I like Strawberry Iced Tea?” Taehyung didn’t even look in your direction as he scrolled through his phone, eyes glued to the screen. A minute passed by and he’d still not acknowledged your question so you let it slide, it wasn’t that big of a deal right? Your mind drifted. Your fingers rested atop of your lap, hidden from the sight of onlookers, picking around your nails as anxiety flooded your body. You felt like you were about to suffocate. You shouldn’t be talking to anyone, you shouldn’t let anyone close. You were only going to fuck everything up in a heartbeat. It’s only natural. Self deprecating thoughts devoured and made their way through your veins, poisoning yourself further; your whole body felt as though it was alight.

Jimin brought you your drinks, placed them carefully in front of the pair of you as you both said your thanks.

The click of Taehyung’s phone being locked and the clearing of his throat brought you back to your senses. “The drink I ordered for you is popular here so, I assumed you’d like to try it. You wanna talk about what’s bothering you?” your eyes shot up to meet his, your head tilted a little to the left as your tongue wet your lip, so puppy like...

You stared incredulously, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Taehyung.” You leant forward slightly as you wrapped your lips around the straw and took a sip.

Taehyung saw the way you sucked your drink up through your straw, his eyes darkened. Thankful to have worn sweatpants that day, he shifted himself discreetly, “I’m not stupid Angel, I know what you’re doing under the table. I’m here, so talk to me. I’ll listen to whatever you gotta say.”

You stuttered as you wracked your brain for something to say, “I-I only met you like forty minutes ago, I don’t even tell my friends what’s wrong. Not that there is, everything’s fine.”

You met me just short of an hour ago, he thought to himself, “You don’t have to lie to me Y/Nie…” he grabbed your hands that were laid near the cup of your Iced Tea. His thumb rubbing circles onto the back of your hand. You looked small and fragile, like the Daffodils on the table; one little pluck and you’d be ruined. He wouldn’t admit it to you just yet but, Taehyung fucking loved how delicate you seemed as you sat across from him.

How easy it would be to take your life away. How easy it’d be to pull those weeds up that are poisoning you, torturing you every single day. He shook his head, as he cleared those thoughts. No, only Y/N can make that decision. I’m just going to help her choose.

Live or Die.

You visibly winced, “You don’t know me. Think whatever the fuck you want about me, it doesn’t matter.” your eyes flashed hurt as you went back to picking your skin. You knew it, this whole encounter was too good to be true. A complete stranger (well acquaintance technically) had just presumed shit about you, the fact he was right is what hurt more. You didn’t want anyone to know how you were feeling. Or how you were dealing with it.

You couldn’t exactly tell him to piss off, you still needed his help home and so you tried to distract yourself from the unsettling gaze that watched your every move. You let out a breath as Taehyung went back to his phone. Your eyes drifted as you picked up the local Newspaper, your eyes skimmed over the headline, ‘Jigsaw Traps Continue’. Taehyung noticed you staring at the front page, and chuckled, “you scared of Jigsaw Angel?”

You shook your head, why would you be scared of some nutjob who’s targeted criminals and drug dealers? You’re a nobody. “Of some psychopathic puppet?” if anyone did anything to you that would threaten your life, it would be you. Taehyung just laughed in return as you skipped the article and skim-read the other pointless stories.

You were fucking clueless as to who he was while he knew every little thing about you. He had watched you for months… His precious little Y/Nie… Oh how silly you were, taking your life for granted.

You hated yourself that much, you were willingly marking yourself up. Tainting your skin… oh your skin, how fucking beautiful and soft it looked, even with all the scars it still looked perfect… Taehyung wanted nothing more than to whisk you away and lock you inside with him. Forever. He didn’t want anyone touching what was his.

He knew you wore a mask when in public, too afraid to show your real self. Little did you know, he wore a mask himself...only he wore it to better other people.

He had a plan.

And you’d soon find out.

Let the games begin.

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artyrogue · 3 years ago

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Blind Date Gaming: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon R

Well today's date was a blast from my past. Remember way back when in yesteryear, before the advent of anime in the west? Probably not? Well hey, let's go back in time to when Sailor Moon was like the only anime being shown on TV. Okay, so yeah, it's really not super-great and all (at least the dub wasn't...), but whatever, it was my jam as a young impressionable lad of...what was I, like 10 or something? I can't remember, but since my old grey brick Game Boy was the cornerstone of my youth, I am a little excited to revisit a merging of two old passions. That's right! We're gonna play some Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon R!

It starts with a cutscene, of course. This IS based off an anime, so we gotta get a fill of some anime girls with their obligatory high school problems! Sadly for me, it's all in Japanese, but I can provide some crappy machine translations to no doubt elucidate the action-packed dialogue!

"Today, every one of them..."

Oh. Guess I shouldn't have just kind of took a random screenshot in the middle of nowhere. Well, uhh...I'll ad-lib. Today, everyone is apparently milling about whatever Sailor Moon's hometown was. Serena was being a git and verbally harassing everyone she found on the street. That kind of accurately described the first phase of gameplay in this game: an 'adventure' where you have to talk to the right person, then talk to someone else, etc. until the game decides that surprise! You found the area's boss! (My apologies to the script writers here for my clear bypassing of their hard work.)

why hello there fellow school girl, let us talk about boys and how hard maths are

I get some bad vibes of two sorts: One, adventure games where you just try things randomly until you click the right thing and the game decides to let you progress; and Two, Mario is Missing. An odd marriage, especially considering the random boring mini-games they sprinkle in here and there, like matching cards, guessing if the next card will be higher or lower than the current card, and of course the staple of youth fun, sliding puzzles.

At least Final Fantasy gave you money for completing these dumb things....

Well, luckily the game isn't just mingling. There's a platforming phase where you use magical powers to jump, shoot foes, and do battle with evildoers from the Sailor Moon universe! Though I really don't recall any of these enemies since I never watched this season of the show, so I can't speak to their accuracy to the source material. The platforming is accurate for girls wearing high heels, though. These jumps're so stiff, you can mount 'em on a ladder and do high dives offa them.

I can only assume these are the Japanese temple versions of Jehovah's witnesses

The bosses are unsurprisingly dull! Pretty much the only cool thing about them is their animations, which are alright and fairly fluid. Combat is summed up as ‘spam the attack button and don't even try to dodge, because who cares?’ You have more health than every boss in the game. Which is a good thing, ‘cos it's not like you can actually move around and dodge anything anyway.

Ahh yes, the handstand of dominance. A most impressive display for an inter-dimensional being bent on destruction!

So after thumb-wrestling a boss, you get kicked back into story mode. It shifts the scout you play as, but who cares, they all blabber to randos on the street. Come on, just let me fight things! This sucks! While the best aspect of the street-roaming phase that gets changed up is the road layout, later platforming levels get a little cute with their traps and enemies. Still, though, it's all stupidly easy and kinda boring. Except that one time Sailor Mercury was dodging spike mace balls in a sea of scaffolding. Dang, I liked that episode of the show!

Why can't they ever have spiky cubes? Why always balls? C'mon devs, get creative!

Also, I feel the need to point out that the background artists definitely got paid more than the foreground artists. There is so little effort put into the foreground, you may as well be playing an old Game Boy g...oh. Right.

Mmyep, this sure looks like release material and not placeholders during development.

The story starts getting kooky near the end, at least from what my illiterate self can tell. Your first foes are some David Bowie wannabes. Next, a cloaked fortune teller pops in to ruin your self esteem and flash their $40 glass orb (as they do). Eventually, you meet the REAL enemy pulling the strings. It's...a planet? I think? A planet with a dirt lip and a mohawk. Sure. That's fine, I don't see anything that could go wrong with that.

"...my life is Wiseman. This is my heart." Yeah no, I don't think you should have put 'Organ Donor' on your driver's license then, buddy

"Moon Crystal Power!" The faces are definitely part of the power summoning rite. I get a similar look from my wife when I take the last ice cream bar from the freezer

The ending was lackluster, really. I mean, don't get me wrong, the character portraits were pretty good, but you don't get many more unique ones in the final cutscene. But hey, at least you can use the existing ones to redo some popular internet memes.

Overall, not really that great. It was pretty disappointing, but I mean, that's kind of spot-on for all of my revisits to fond childhood memories. So what I've learned from this date is that holy moly did I have terrible taste as a kid! While my younger self might have sprung for it, I ain't going on a date with this one again. Nopes all around! But at least I found a baller Sprite of Passage from one of the lame mini games! Have it as a reminder to never revisit your childhood. Keep that past rosy!

do you have burials at sea for sailor scouts?

#blinddategaming #gameboy #sailor moon

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wingsofkpop · 5 years ago

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Finding SKZ - 11: YNXX 2/2

pairing(s): Hybrid!Bang Chan x Reader, Hybrid!SKZ x Reader

genre: Hybrid!AU, Dystopian!AU, there’s actually Fluff, but Angst too, Smut finally!!!

warning(s): Mature language, violence, blood and gore, flashbacks and hallucinations, mentions of drug use, mentions of suicide, mentions of abuse, explicit smut including but not limited to unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), fingering, etc.

Trigger/Smut Warning - This chapter does contain explicit scenes of suicide, violence and sex. Please do not read if you are uncomfortable/will be harmed with/by any of these topics

word count: 10,6k

chapter directory

The scarlet and orange flames dance in front of your eyes, almost as if beckoning you to throw yet another piece of firewood into its hungering grasp. You turn away from the fire, instead watching how it blazes within each surrounding set of hooded irises. A smile upturns your lips at the realization that Felix’s eyes sparkle while Jeongin’s shimmer. And Minho’s glow while Jisung’s glimmer. You wondered if your own eyes were as bright. Or if they were dim from the haunting ghosts of grief and betrayal.

Woojin had managed to drive far enough into the forest to evade whatever security the scientists sent after all of you. You drove for hours and hours, discovering the border to be a lot farther away than you originally thought. So far, your main plan was to pass the border, find some hidden door and escape to Yellow Wood using Chan’s key. Although, even if Changbin knew the general location, none of you knew what to expect.

What if there turned out to be no door at all?

Footsteps submerge your consciousness from your thoughts and you turn to see Chan and Changbin returning from the jeep with a couple of bags. He wasn’t lying when he told you the scientists allowed him and the boys to leave. They even provided them with a fully stocked car with food, clothing and any supplies nine boys could need. The thought made you nauseous. Your mind flashes back to the image of Chan standing behind the glass of your cage.

You shake it away. He came back for you. They all did.

You have to remember that.

“Who’s hungry?” Chan chuckles, plopping down on the makeshift log seat in between Hyunjin and Felix. Changbin lowers beside you, sandwiching your form in between him and Jeongin. You and the youngest spoke a little on the ride before Woojin called for a rest stop. He was probably one of the cutest boys you’ve ever met. And he was more than willing to cheer you up from your depressive thoughts with a special performance of his: Trot.

“Starving!” Jisung heaves. The leader chuckles again, unzips one of the backpacks and pulls out numerous packages of already prepared fried chicken. Changbin offers you a bottle of Coke, Sprite or water, and you graciously accept your favorite choice. He sends you a soft smile, which you return with one of your own.

“Channie-hyung, are there any ramen cups?”

“Let me check, I think there were a couple here somewhere-” Chan digs through the same backpack before tossing it away and searching through another. Neither of the two provide him any victory, so he turns to peer into the one behind him. His body visibly tenses as he unzips it, which he quickly zips up. He move back around, “(Y/N), I think this is yours.”

“What?” With furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips, you reach forward to collect the backpack in your arms. It was oddly heavy against your limbs and connected to the ground with a loud thud when you set it down between your legs. Like Chan, you unzip it and part the flaps. Your confusion dissipates to sorrow.

A single note card was laid a top whatever was packed inside the bag. You recognize the penmanship immediately and the realization wells tears in the corners of your eyes. You take the paper between quivering fingers and lift it toward the fire light for a better view. With a deep, calming breath, you read the words scrawled across the page:

(Y/N),

I want you to stay with those hybrid boys. They’ll take care of you better than your mother and I ever could. I hope you’ll find somewhere where you’ll be safe and happy. You deserve that more than anyone. I’m sorry for everything I never told you.

I’ll be with you always.

“I ran into your aunt when I was trying to convince Dr. Bang to let me see you,” Minho says from across the fire, his eyes twinkling underneath the wrath of the flames. “She told me to give that to you. Said it would help you think of home.”

You smile just as a single tear pushes itself from your eye, but you wipe it away before it can fall. With a heavy, aching, yet oddly calm heart, you retract the items from the bag. Each elicit a pleasant memory from the deepest depths of those you forgot. The camera your mother bought for your twelfth birthday. The stuffed animal you’ve had since you were a baby. The journal you’ve barely filled with your deepest, darkest secrets.

Surprisingly though, you felt numb. Whether it be from the bitterness of this life you once knew and lived having always been one big lie, or the suffocating idea that both your mother and your aunt were now gone, you couldn’t tell. That is two deaths on your conscious now.

You felt even sicker.

“Thank you, Minho… but I can’t keep these things.”

“What do you mean?”

You shrug, “It’s kind of hard to describe, but I just… It doesn’t feel like these things are really mine anymore…

“Here, I think I have something for each one of you.”

Eighteen pairs of eyes widen at your words. You shush Chan and Woojin when they attempt to usher the idea of you giving away your precious items. The other boys remain alert, ears twitching in excitement and figures fidgeting in impatience at the possibility of receiving gifts. You turn to Jeongin first and tug your favorite furry earmuffs from your middle school winters over his fox ears. You sigh, “I know it’s not very exciting, but these will keep you warm no matter how cold it is. They match your fur too.”

Jeongin giggles while thumbing at his new gift, “Thank you, (Y/N)-noona.”

“You’re welcome, Jeongin.” You pull out more items from your childhood. “Woojin, this jacket should fit you perfectly. And Felix, I remember you saying you always wanted an old gameboy.”

“Way cool! Thank you so much!” Felix all but snatches the device from your fingertips, squealing in delight when the screen lights up in response. On the other hand, you have to convince Woojin to try the jacket on. After testing the fit, he reluctantly accepts. You can’t help but smile while watching him cuddle into its warmth.

One by one, you bestow a present from your past onto the people of your future. Hyunjin, a pair of oversized dancing shoes your father bought in an attempt to rekindle your already lost relationship. Jisung, the stuffed animal that protected you during your childhood fears of the dark and thunderstorms. Changbin, the journal with blank pages ready to be filled with song lyrics. All that was left, Minho, Seungmin and Chan.

“Forget about me?” Minho chuckles. Playfully, he waggles a charred poker makeshifted from a long stick.

You return with a snicker of your own and shake your head, “How could I ever? Think fast.”

You toss the item high, safe enough to fly and land far away from the flames. With cupped hands, Minho manages to catch his gift midair. His expression starts as confusion before gradually shifting to remorse once he realizes what it was.

“I was going to wish for my mom to get better… but I never got to the bridge in time...” You chuckle, thumbing at a loose thread hung from your badly torn jeans. “Wherever we end up, and when you think the time is right, I want you to make your own wish.”

Minho smiles and clutches the unused lock between both palms. Beneath the glow of the fire and the sliver of moonlight, you could see the start of tears glistening in his deep brown eyes. He sighs, “...Thank you, (Y/N)-ah.”

You nod. Not knowing what else to say.

“Here, Seungmin.” You offer the beagle the precious polaroid camera you practically begged for how many years ago. With trembling, eager hands, the youngster takes the device from you, cradling it within his palms. His eyebrows furrow as he fusses with different mechanics. Then, raises the camera and aims it straight at you. You barely get the chance to blink before the familiar click enters your ears and the device whirs out a laminated sheet.

Seungmin shakes the photograph, gazes at it with such admiration and turns back to you with tears in his eyes, “Thank you so much, (Y/N)-noona. I really don’t deserve this-”

“-Of course you do.” You argue, waving your hand to dismiss his insecurity away. “Min, I don’t care about whatever happened back at the lab. You guys came back for me-”

“-You don’t understand.” Seungmin shakes his head, “Noona, I wasn’t talking about you.”

Your chest tightens, “What do you mean?”

“Yeah, Seungminie? What do you mean?” At Changbin’s voice, you realize the other members are all now listening to your conversation with the hybrid. An obvious tension carried between the lot of you.

Seungmin glances warily at Chan, who nods his head in response. The beagle refuses to meet anyone’s gaze, continues to fiddle with his new camera and guiltily murmurs, “I... I was the reason that… none of us were really… put where we were supposed to be...”

“Seungmin-ah? What are you saying?”

He shakes his head, “The MCHPF had me… change the location of where to send everyone…

“I’m the reason Woojin-hyung ended up in the circus, and Jisung at the club… It’s how I knew where everyone was….” Seungmin finishes with a heavy exhale, as if releasing the weight he had been burdened with for god knows how long.

“Hang on a second,” Your head snaps to see Hyunjin rising out of his seat with a shocked and angered expression across his features. “You were the reason I was in that damn ring?”

“Hyunjin, please. Seungmin had reason to.” Chan attempts to calm the furious dalmation, but only works to tense Hyunjin’s cropped ears even further. “Don’t be upset with-”

Hyunjin gasps, “-Don’t be upset!? How the hell am I supposed to not be upset!? You have no idea how much shit I went through in that ring!... How many fights I almost fucking died to!

“And what about Jisung!? How many times was he raped in that club!?” You wince at Hyunjin’s observation, catching how Jisung’s cat ears fall flat against his head. “Or both Felix and Woojin being abused both physically and verbally!? What about-!?”

“-They were gonna kill Jeongin if I didn’t do it!” Seungmin sobs, effectively cutting off his brother’s frantic voice. His body begins to rock back and forth while his fingers dig into the flesh of his knees, “They needed you in certain places so we could-”

“-You were in on this, weren’t you?” Woojin interrupts this time. His question was aimed toward the oddly silent wolf. Chan’s shoulders fall, similar to the way his neck arches toward the ground. Like Seungmin, he doesn’t make eye contact with anyone. He only nods.

“So not only were you willing to give (Y/N)-ah up, but you let us be pawns in their game.” Woojin mutters sadly.

Chan shakes his head, “It wasn’t like that. I did it so we could-”

“-Be free.” Hyunjin growls, sending both his guilty brothers a sneer. “There’s always a price to pay for freedom. Who knew it’d be your own family.”

The dalmatian storms from the circle and back in the direction of the jeep. A breath you hadn’t realized you had been holding releases from your parted lips, staining the silent atmosphere with even more tension. You debated on soothing the crying beagle beside you, but Woojin beats you to it, “Seungmin-ssi, come on. Let’s go calm you down.”

Chan rises with the two, as if to run after Hyunjin, but the bear shakes his head, “Don’t. I think you’ve done enough.”

“We’ll go calm Jinnie down.” Jeongin, Felix and Jisung all break from the circle and scurry after their brother. You watch their silhouettes bleed into the pitch black of night. A strange feeling arising in your stomach as they go.

“Well, awkward.” Minho hums, drumming his fingers against the empty seats beside him. He hesitates for a minute, just staring into the low flames of the fire, before continuing, “Changbinnie and I will go help Woojin-hyung and Seungminnie. I’m sure you two need some time to talk anyway.”

You curse the coyote for ducking out of the situation that easily, and you’re almost tempted to give him the finger as he and Changbin disappear deeper into the forest. A huff brushes past your lips. With nothing to lose, you turn to peer at the only remaining hybrid’s face.

In this lighting, he looked ethereal. Almost too perfect to be real. His dark roots were beginning to show along the line of his scalp and thus, emphasized the bleached color of his blonde locks and the silver of his hybrid ears. His hair was also in its naturally curled form which you so rarely saw back at your apartment. You loved Chan’s curls. Then again, you loved everything about Chan.

At least, you thought you did.

With a deep sigh, you climb to your feet and make your way to where the wolf is sat. You don’t bother asking, take the seat beside him and stare straight into the fire. The silence you expected to remain breaks at his soft whisper:

“I’m a monster.”

You sigh, “No, you’re not. You’re just… trying to protect your family.”

“By hurting and lying to them?” Chan’s hands fly to his hair, fingers tugging harshly at his roots. Your heart cracks at his frantic stature, having never before seen him look so insecure and distressed. “Woojin’s right… All of this was just one big game that I played… and dragged the people I love into…”

“It wasn’t your fault. You did what you thought was the best thing for your brothers.” Gently, you place a hand on the hybrid’s shoulder. His figure tightens beneath your touch and it sends an ache into your gut. “Don’t do this to yourself, Chan.”

“Don’t act like you don’t hate me for what I did.” The wolf’s sudden growl has you flinching backward. The eyes which connect with yours are ones you’ve seen, but only in times where fear and Chan existed in the same place. Even so, you didn’t find yourself intimidated. Beneath the aggression, you could see a boy locked in a cage. One filled with despair and terror.

You inhale an unsteady gust of air, barely holding back a cough as the zest of smoke tickles at your throat. Another hand is lifted toward the wolf. This time, splaying across the surface of his pale cheek. Your lips barely upturn, but it’s enough for the ferocity to disperse from his irises.

“I could never hate you.” You whisper truthfully with a sad smile, “What you did… hurt me… It hurt me a lot…

“But I could never hate you for it.”

Just as a droplet cascades from his eye, you wipe it away. Chan shakes his head, “I never wanted to hurt you…”

“Chan-”

“-Really, I didn’t.” He says more firmly. Your hand on his cheek is pulled away and instead cradled between his larger palm. With it occupied, you couldn’t wipe the other tears blemishing the wolf’s face. “Do you think you could ever forgive me?”

Those words fracture whatever pieces are left of your heart.

Once again, no matter how much it hurt, you answer truthfully, “I don’t know…”

“That’s fair…”

“Yeah…” When your hands slip from his, you immediately miss his warmth. You will the feelings away, ignoring the temptation to throw your arms around Chan and hold him until the sun comes up. As much as you wanted to forgive and forget, you couldn’t. The damage that was done was just that:

Unforgettable.

“Hyung, noona, we’re gonna head out soon.” Jisung’s voice drowns out your overbearing thoughts. Without one last glance at the wolf, you rise to your feet and follow the cat hybrid back toward the jeep. Minho was in the driver’s seat this time with Felix in the passenger. Woojin and Changbin were in the process of reloading bags in whatever space was available. You were surprised to see Hyunjin and Seungmin sitting beside each other. Although neither were really speaking to one another.

“It’ll be about another day until we reach the border,” Changbin hums while taking a seat beside Woojin. Chan climbs over him to take the bear’s other side. You follow Jisung and position yourself between him and Jeongin. It was a little cramped, but it could be worse. “We should have enough gasoline to get us there.”

“Gre-” You go to reply, but a sudden pang in the back of your brain has a surprised groan spilling from your lips. The sickness from before turns into a full blown nausea, and for a second you thought you were going to puke. Luckily, as fast as it came, the pain lessens into a faint ache. You could still feel it pulsing in your head. The thought brings worry into your gut.

“(Y/N)-noona, are you okay?”

You angle your head to peer at a concerned Jeongin and shake your head, “My head hurts…but I’m sure it’s just from lack of sleep”

You could only hope.

***

“Rock! Paper! Scissors!” At the queue, you manipulate your hand into what looks like a pair of scissors. A smile of victory invades your face when you see your opponent fashioning a paper.

“What the heck!? How are you so good at this, noona!?” Jeongin laughs at Jisung’s whine. The bengal sends the fox a dark glare, leaning forward to butt his head into his chest. Jeongin’s laughter only increases and thus, brings a sharp pout to Jisung’s face. “It’s not funny! She even beat Felix!”

“It’s just luck, Sung,” You chuckle, fixing his leftmost pointed ear when it folded inwards. “There’s no real skill to it.”

Jisung whines again, “But you’ve won every time! You have to have some strategy!”

You laugh, “I really don’t! Like I said, it’s luck!”

Frustrated by your lack of explanation, Jisung completely gives up playing with you and proceeds to play with the youngest member, who he equally loses as much to. Left by your lonesome, you take the chance to peer out the side of the jeep.

Since the sun came up a couple hours ago, you were finally able to see a lot farther than a few inches in front of your face. Minho had driven into this plains sort of area. It was still completely surrounded by forest, but it was a lot easier to navigate through. Although you couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy since you were completely out in the open as well.

Anyone could be watching.

A chill slithers down your spine like snake.

What if someone was watching you?

Out of instinct, you peer along the moving treeline, hoping to catch sight of whatever was making your skin crawl. There was no possible way the lab security could have caught up to you guys this fast. Or maybe they were there amongst the trees, waiting to strike at the right moment…

“Woah! What is that!?” Felix, having switched seats with Changbin somewhere along the ride, grabs the headbar above his head and pulls himself to his feet. It’s the little unsteady due to the rocking of the jeep, but his hold on the bar stabilizes him enough. Hyunjin lifts an arm to warn the cat, but is quickly shoved away.

Chan does the same as his younger brother, but on the opposite side, “Check that out!”

You turn to look where the wolf is pointing, discovering something red approaching in the distance. If you had to guess, it was a patch of bright, pretty wildflowers. It reminded you of the garden your aunt so desperately kept up with. She always loved to garden.

Your eyes widen when you catch sight of a figure nestled amongst the flowers. You climb to your feet to get a better view, practically bending halfway out of the jeep. It could have been an animal, but you swear it had the shape of a person. Someone familiar.

“(Y/N)-noona, be careful. You’r-”

“-I’m fine, Hyunjin.” You reply rather sharply, annoyed at not being able to find out what that thing in the wildflowers was. With a huff, you lower back down onto your seat and cross your arms. You should have asked Minho to slow down.

“(Y/N), are you sure you’re okay?” Felix asks. When you look up, you discover concern etched across the features of his face. “You’ve been acting strange ever since we left.”

You shrug, “I’m just tired… It’s probably just-”

“-Holy shit! Hang on to something!” The brakes release a painful screech as the vehicle hurls to a rocky stop, the inertia throwing everyone forward. You barely have the chance to reach up and grab the edge of the jeep to stop yourself from launching out of the car. Even so, your lower body wrenches out of your seat. Chan lurches forward to catch your legs and steady you while Minho brings the jeep to a complete stop.

“What the hell was that!?” Woojin rasps while helping Felix and Hyunjin to their feet. “Minho-?!”

“-There’s something blocking the path!” The coyote hops out of the driver’s seat. The younger hybrids follow him out of the vehicle, gathering around some sort of metal fence. With Chan’s assistance, you’re able to do so as well.

The fence was at least ten feet high, maybe more with how much it was towering over everyone’s heads. It was obviously old and abandoned, decorated by harsh years of copper rust. There was also torn black and yellow caution tape and stained ‘road closed’ signs along its exterior as well. It stretched on for as long as you could see to both the left and the right. Almost like a long silver ribbon fluttering into the forest.

“Well, there’s good news and bad news.” Minho turns to face the group with a sheepish grin stretched along his lips. “We’re close to the border, maybe another twelve hours. But we can’t continue unless we get around this fence.”

“Can’t we break it down?” Jeongin offers, his fox ears twitching at the appearance of a harsh breeze.

Woojin nods, “Good idea, Innie. With how old it is, Chan, Changbin and I can do it with our bare hands.”

“Just be careful not to cut yourselves.”

Your warning takes the bear by surprise, but he recovers quickly and nods, “Good thinking, (Y/N)-ah. We need to find a place where the fence has loosened from the dirt. Jisung, over by you-”

“-What the fuck, Seungmin-ah!?” The sudden yell takes you so much by surprise, you physically flinch at the curse. You turn to see Hyunjin stomping toward Seungmin, who was lowering his camera. The dalmatian snatches the polaroid from the beagle’s fingers and flings it toward the ground. Your anxiety increases tenfold when Seungmin lifts his own arms to shove Hyunjin. The latter doing the same.

“Hyunjin! Seungmin!” Chan and the others dash toward their quarreling brothers, immediately separating the two before any real damage could be done. You move to follow the group, but a similar ache from before enters your head. This time, its ten times worse.

The pain travels from your head to the rest of your body, almost as if your flesh was being poked with needles. Dizziness and blurriness overtake your eyes, and you’re barely able to witness Changbin step in between the two separated hybrids. You open your mouth to call out, but are hit with yet another pang that brings you to your knees. You squeeze your eyes shut, willing the pain to cease.

Eventually, your prayers are answered and the level of hurt diminishes. You find the strength to test your luck and open your eyes. When you do, your panic embiggens before shifting to full terror.

The boys and the jeep were gone, along with the fence and even the surrounding trees. You were knelt on a tiled floor, hands bound behind your back and a gag inside your mouth. There were no walls, only pitch black void surroundings. When you scream, the sound echoes in your ears like a broken record. You were alone.

A movement out of the corner of your eye has your neck snapping to the right, only to find nothing but even more blackness. You scream again, biting at the cloth between your teeth. Another movement comes from the left, but when you turn, there’s still nothing there.

Something drops right in front of you, stealing a high-pitched wail from your lips. Your volume strengthens when you recognize the body of your own mother hung from the nonexistent ceiling by a pretty, pink scarf. Her lifeless, paled irises stare into your own. So pale, you could see your own terrified reflection.

Another inhumane yell sounds, but this time, it doesn’t come from you. You duck forward, dodging another corpse as it cascades from above. A head lands perfectly within your lap, body splayed out in front of you. You whimper at your aunt’s blank and cold expression, the bullet hole inside her brain almost acting as a third eye. Struggling against your restraints, you scoot away from two bodies as far as you can before your back knocks against something else.

A sudden hand emerges from the darkness and pins you to the ground. No matter how much you squirm, their strength outmatches yours. In their other hand, you watch breathlessly as they lead a small knife to your neck. The blade caressing the skin of your jugular.

“Please, no!” You gasp over your gag, shaking your head feverishly. “Don’t kill me!”

“Why not?” To your horror, the face that materializes from the void is one that mirrors your own. Except her eyes were full of malevolence. The giggle that stems from her -- your lips, erupts goosebumps across your skin. She moves forward to press the blade even firmer against your throat with an evil smirk:

“You’re as good as dead, anyway.”

“No!” With a final bout of strength, you tear through your restraints and claw at her face. A groan pulls past her lips as your fingernails slice across her cheek, blood splattering against the floor. Taking advantage of the moment of weakness, you thrust your feet into her stomach and knock her body off of yours. She hits the ground with a sharp cry, the knife flying past her fingertips.

You scramble for the weapon, ensnaring it between your own fingers. The doppelganger giggles again as you replace the blade across her own throat. She batters her eyelashes and nods, “That’s fucking right… Kill me…”

You gulp, your hand shaking against her skin. The temptation to slit her throat was so overpowering, but something inside you made you hold back.

Something wasn’t right.

“Show them who you are, killer!…” She screeches, her icy grip appearing around your wrist. She pulls the knife further against her neck, droplets of blood already welling beneath the metal. “C’mon, what are you fucking afraid of!?”

“This isn’t right…” You murmur to yourself, “You’re not real…”

“Do it!” Her scream pierces straight through your eardrums and echoes violently inside your mind. “Kill me! Slit my throat!”

“No!” You wrench away from the figmentation, allowing the knife to slip from your grasp. “You’re not real! None of this is real!”

“Coward!” She spits, crimson liquid spilling from her blue lips. “You’re a coward!”

You shake your head, close your eyes and whisper, “None of this is real…”

“(Y/N)-ah!”

When you open your eyes, the doppelganger is gone along with everything else from your nightmares. You were back in reality, still knelt on the grass. However, you quickly realize something was not the same as before.

Hyunjin and Seungmin were no longer trying to kill each other, and instead clinging to each other with fear etched across each of their faces. Same goes for Jisung, Felix and Jeongin. Woojin was staring at you with a blend of sympathy and concern while Changbin exhibited something closer to panic. Minho was just shocked, extremely shocked. And Chan…

Chan was holding a small gash at the edge of his throat.

“N-no…” You whimper, watching the blood spill from down his pale skin. When you look down, you see the knife from before balanced in your lap. “Ch-Chan…”

He shakes his head and holds an arm out, “(Y/N), it’s okay…”

“I almost killed you…”

Chan moves to catch you, but you were already collapsing to the ground. Blurred spots and white stars steal your consciousness, and the last thing you see before slipping into yet another world of darkness was a flash of yellow and a faint scream.

***

It takes you awhile to come to. You even have difficulty opening your eyes. Too afraid the setting your mind would see was not the one your eyes were supposed to. When you strike up the courage, you’re not at all surprised to see you were in a different location from before.

You were no longer outside, but in what seemed to be a quaint, cozy tent. A heavy quilt kept your figure nice and warm. More blankets beneath you to lessen the firmness of the earth on your back. Even so, your muscles still feel stiff as you sit up.

“(Y/N)...” You flinch at the sound of your name and turn to your right to see a certain wolf laid beside you. Your movement seemed to have woken him from a deep slumber as his eyes were still hooded and ears twitching groggily. He lifts a hand from beneath the blanket you two shared and trails it down your arm.

Although you really didn’t want to, you pull away from his touch.

His eyebrows furrow as he sits up. And thus, reveals the sight you were so deathly afraid to see: The deep gash along the base of his neck.

The wound you gave him.

“(Y/N)...” The gentle whisper of your name breaks your resolve and all you want to do is scream in absolute frustration. Unable to look at the injury, you bury your head within your palms and allow the shame and grief to overtake you. Never before have you cried so violently or so mournfully, not even after your mother died. Then again, you never really did allow yourself the time to grieve. Maybe that’s why this was the way it is.

You were crying for the loss of everything: Deaths, lies, mistakes. Everything.

When Chan tugs you into his embrace, you’re too weak and starved for comfort to deny him again. The thought worsens your guilt. Why were you allowed to be selfish when you nearly ended his life?

Still, the hybrid soothes you from the storm that is your mind. His fingers comb through your hair while the other hand catches tears as they cascade down your cheeks. He was speaking in your ear, but his words were incoherent beneath your gulps for air and pathetic whimpers. You don’t know even know how long you were there. Then again, you didn’t really care.

You run out of water to shed eventually, yet you continue to cry even without tears. You were pretty sure you had created as large as a river by then. Maybe then you could actually drown yourself within your own sadness. Not that you weren’t drowning right now.

The weight compressing your chest recedes after some time and your body relaxes as best it can. You were still trembling like a newborn foul, but at least you could breathe properly. Chan refuses to release you from his hold, not that you were complaining. Things may be different from those mornings in your apartment, but you could still spend an eternity just laying in his arms.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the drug?” For the first time, your brain actually recognizes the question that slips from the hybrid’s lips. Unfortunately, it also recognizes the betrayal and distress laced between each syllable. “You took it, didn’t you?”

“I had to.” You confess. Your hand slides into the space where Chan’s rests over the swell of your stomach. Like water to sand, your fingers weave together. And like all the other times where your hands fit so perfectly, you didn’t want to let go. “They were going to use it to cause a genocide… So many innocent humans and hybrids would die.”

“So what? So what if they died?”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do.” His grip on your body tightens. You could feel the bruises that would later fashion in flowers of black and blue across your arms, but you didn’t care. In fact, you welcomed the pain. “Because now… you might die instead.”

“A bit overdue, if you ask me.” You chuckle, attempting to make light of the situation. Chan doesn’t react to your comment, only burrows his head further into the crevice where your shoulders meets your neck. The sigh that airs is hot against your chapped lips. Softly, you try again, “If anything like… what happened earlier happens again, I need you to promise that you’ll do whatever it takes to protect you and the boys.”

“No,” He shakes his head, “I won’t.”

“Yes. You will.”

“I won’t!” Chan growls, maneuvering so he was hovering over your body. One hand rested right beside your head while the other lowers to splay across your chest. Right over your beating heart, “This is going to beat as long as it possibly can. I don’t care what I have to do or give up to keep it that way.”

Your lips upturn sadly, “You know it’s inevitable. I’ll end up killing all of you-”

“-I don’t. Fucking. Believe it.” The hybrid hisses, “You didn’t kill me back there. You woke yourself up.”

“And yet, I still hurt you.” Your hand raises to caress at the scratch. “You have to be realistic. You have to look at this from the bigger picture.”

“Every picture I look at you from will be the same, (Y/N)...” Chan whispers, leaning into the palm cupping his cheek. He continues in an even softer tone, “When I saw the way you looked at me back in the lab when I told you the truth… I realized how stupid I was to ever think I could give you up...

“I tried to remind myself what you were, but you were just so… different�� Nothing like the humans I always knew… And I just… wanted you… even though it was never supposed to be this way...”

“I love you, (Y/N)...” Chan’s confesses, “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure that out.”

Emotionally struck by the words you’ve been longing to hear ever since you realized it yourself, your voice trembles when you speak, “If I die-”

“-You’re not going to fucking die.” Whatever words that were resting on the tip of your tongue dissolve when Chan takes both of your wrists and pins them down beside your head. At this angle, he looked so intimidating with his sharp gaze and wolf ears. The vulnerability of your body beneath his sends a pleasurable rush through your body, awakening the warmth of your core.

You gulp, “Ch-Chan…”

“If you think I’m going to allow anything to take you away from me… You’re wrong.” His hot breath caresses your cheek as he murmurs. You feel antsy from the sensations. He stills your squirms with a leg between your own. His knee resting just inches from where you want him most.

You hold your breath, unable to take in the moment fast enough.

“I know you always hated the idea of being my owner... but you own me, babygirl. You own my body, my heart and my soul.” He continues, leaning down to card his lips across the exposed skin of your chest. The contact makes you even more sensitive than before. You can’t help but push up against him, struggling against his hold on your wrists. His grip doesn’t budge.

You sigh in exasperation, “Chan-”

“-But you are my owner, (Y/N).” Your sanity flies out the window when you realize exactly how close the wolf is. There was barely any space between the tips of your noses, his body practically suffocating your own. However, you were only focused on one thing:

His eyes.

Unlike the kind brown you’re used to, his irises were a glowing amber filled with absolute hunger. Yet, deep inside the flecks of gold and caramel, you could see every other emotion bouncing throughout his head. The anxiety. The desperation. The love.

“And if you’re my owner, that means you belong to me too…” He whispers, bending down to rest his forehead against your own. You were so transfixed by his eyes, you couldn’t look away from his gaze. Not even when he releases one of your wrists to slide beneath the hem of your shirt, “You’re mine, (Y/N)... And I’m yours...”

Unable to take anymore, you utilize your free limb and yank the hybrid down to meet your lips. The kiss you two share is unlike any of the others you shared before. While the ministrations were carried out the same, there was so much more meaning and feeling beneath the passion. Your tongues dance: Once for dominance. Twice for eagerness. Three times for desire. You don’t think either of you would have pulled away if your lungs could produce air on their own.

A surprised yelp carries from your throat when Chan palms at your left breast which was already braless beneath your tank top. Fueled by arousal, you grow impatient with the lack of skin on skin and tug roughly at his own shirt. He chuckles at your restlessness, but sits up and removes the clothing nonetheless.

You’ve seen the hybrid shirtless many times, but you still could never get over how well built he was. Lifting your hand, you drag your fingers across his broad chest, down the valley between his pecs and over the lines of his prominent abs. A sound that was far from human rumbles from his throat as you follow the trail of hair that disappears beneath the waistband of his jeans. At a closer look, you notice the obvious tent straining against the denim. You can’t help yourself and close your palm over the bulge.

Chan curses. His grip on your breast toughens, knee pushing up against your core. You keen at the contact, gasping as his bone stimulates your clitoris. Noticing your reaction, he does it again. This time, purposely dragging his knee over your slit. You release a high-pitched moan. Your hand squeezing over his clothed hardness.

Impatient himself, the hybrid removes your shirt and immediately latches his lips over your already hardened nipple. Whines cascade from your lips, your hand moving to tug at his blonde locks. He groans, laving and sucking at your sensitive bud before pulling away to provide its twin the same treatment.

“Chan!...” You lift your hips to grind against his leg, needing something to satiate the fire between your thighs. Your companion groans. He gently encloses his teeth over your nipple and leans backward to playfully tug at your flesh. Another whine is followed by another rock of your hips. You throw your head back with a wince, “Baby, please… I need more…”

Without hesitation, Chan hooks his fingers in the waistband of your jeans and drags them down your thighs with something close to frenzy. You shut your eyes for a second, only to be met with the sound of ripping fabric and a cool breeze on your core.

Chan tosses the scraps of your underwear to the side and inhales a sharp breath that shifts to a deep guttural growl, “Shit, you smell so good…”

His fingers swipe across your slit, just barely caressing your clit. You whine when he pulls away. The sound dying in your throat as he pops the two digits inside his mouth. Another inhuman purr erupts from the wolf, his eyes flashing an even darker orange. Licking his lips, he lowers his hand back down to your core and plunges two fingers inside your aching hole.

“Oh shit! Chan!”

“You’re so tight around my fingers… so tight and warm…” He purrs, nuzzling into your neck before sliding all the way down your body. The quilt is thrown out of the way so Chan can situate himself comfortably between your thighs. His silver ears twitch in anticipation, similar to the curling of your toes as he leans in toward your wet pussy. Almost testing the waters, he sticks his tongue out and licks a quick stripe over your clit. He groans at your taste, “Shit, you taste just like I thought you would… so perfect…”

You hold the sheets for dear life as the hybrid goes to town both thrusting his fingers in and out of your hole and tonguing lazily at your swollen bundle of nerves. Your gazes remained connected and you could actually see your own fucked out expression within the reflection of his irises. It made the knot forming in your stomach tighten even more.

At a certain angle, a high-pitched cry escapes your lips and your hips buck against Chan’s hold. He uses his other limb to pin your waist to the ground. As if he loves torturing you, he continues to move his fingers against that one spot that has you weak while his licks grow more intense.

“Fuck! I’m-I’m gonna cum, Chan!...” Your warning increases the hybrid’s speed. He goes so much faster that your vision goes blurry with hot tears and your lower regions become completely numb. You knew it was over when Chan took your clitoris between his lips and sucked. Hard.

Your orgasm hits like a landslide, shoving you over a cliff you’ve never, ever traveled over before. It rocks your body, and might as well have rocked your world too, because you have never climaxed so hard in your life. Even when you regain some sense of consciousness, your body still continued to tremble and shake.

When you open your eyes, you’re met with Chan’s worried gaze. He cups your cheek and asks frantically, “Babygirl, are you okay? Was I too much-?”

You shake your head, “-God, no! I’ve just… never came like that before…”

He smiles and leans down to press a long peck to your sweaty hairline. While the moment was meant to be sweet, you couldn’t help but notice his hardness pressed against your lower stomach. The thought awakens your core and kick starts your lust. You squirm until your sexes are aligned and buck against his clothed cock.

“(Y/N), b-baby, wait-“

You refuse Chan’s warnings and tug at his hair, “No more waiting. I need you inside me. Now.”

The hybrid’s eyes widen to saucers and his jaw drops, “Are… are you sure?”

“I trust you.” You reply, sending him the most sincere look you’ve ever contorted. “I-I…

“I love you, Chan.”

Your lover’s eyes glaze. Almost as if he would burst into tears. He bends down to seal your lips in another hard kiss, before pulling away to kick off his bottoms. His cock is the biggest you’ve ever seen. The idea of how much it’ll stretch excites you.

“This might hurt a little…” Chan murmurs while pumping his length.

You shake your head with a smile, “I can take a little pain…”

Chan slicks himself as much as he can with your arousal. You whimper when his tip comes in contact with your clit, grabbing at his shoulders for support. He wraps one arm around your waist to keep you in place. The other positions his member right at your entrance.

The first initial push is so painful, it sets your entire lower half on fire. Your whimpers blend with Chan’s growls as he remains still to allow you time to adjust. Your walls squeeze him like a vice, gradually accommodating to his thickness. Inch by inch, he sinks inside of you until his hips meet yours and he’s settled to the very hilt.

“Oh fuck, babygirl...” Your lover whines. His hands fumble for yours, pins them once again to the sides of your head and weaves your fingers together. He releases a mix between a whimper and a growl, rolling his hips gently against yours. “Oh my god, you feel so-so good…”

“Chan… move, please…”

“Shit, okay… Hold on to me, baby…”

You wrap your arms around his neck while your legs wind around his waist. He doesn’t waste any time and sets a steady, shallow pace that drives his cock deep inside your hole. A sheen of perspiration had already begun to form across your connected bodies. The fragrance, sounds and feel of sex already attacking at your senses. The pain from before ebbed away into a nice ache. It blends with the friction of Chan’s member and adds even more pleasure.

“I-I-shit… I will never let any-anything or anyone t-take you away from me…” Chan growls. His words seem to egg him on, his thrusts becoming more frantic and powerful. His nails dig into the flesh of your wrists, likely to leave future bruises. Not that you cared anyway. “Do you understand me, (Y/N)? You’re mine…”

Your silence doesn’t satisfy the hybrid. He releases one of your hands to entangle it within your hair and pulls until your eyes connect. Leaning closer, Chan speaks again, “Tell me you’re mine, babygirl… Please, I-I need to hear you say it…”

“I’m yours…”

He licks his lips, “Say my name, (Y/N), baby, please…”

“Chan! God, fuck, Chan!”

“My beautiful mate…” The wolf hums, his hand lowering to encompass the circumference of your neck. He doesn’t squeeze, only holds you in place as he leans down and sinks his canines into the side of your throat.

Your jaw goes slack. Your mind too far gone to delineate the difference between what is pleasurable pain and painful pleasure. In your fucked out state, you feel the upcoming tension of another orgasm and begin to buck your hips against Chan’s. Moans and pleas spewing from your lips like a mantra, “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Please, Chan, I’m so close!.. oh, please!”

He detaches from your neck with a groan, “Shhh, babygirl… Need to see you cum again, yeah? You look so beautiful when you cum...”

His slurred words make you feel dizzy. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he continues to angle his thrusts to abuse the most sensitive spot inside of you. You drag your fingernails down his back, likely leaving a scratch or two, but the hybrid doesn’t mind. In fact, his hips seem to speed up.

“Oh shit, baby, I’m gonna cum too… Wh-where-?”

“-Inside!” You screech, locking your ankles at the small of his back. “Cum inside me!”

Your lover hides his whines by sucking at the marred skin of your neck and lowering his hand to roll at your clit, “G-gonna fill you so good, babygirl… I’ll have you leaking my seed for days…

“Fuck, (Y/N), I’m gonna-”

“-Me too!” Your bodies move against each other desperately, yet fluidly, giving and taking as much pleasure as humanely (and hybridly) possible. Perched right on the edge of climax, you cup Chan’s cheek and tug him down into a finish line kiss. With a brush of his tongue over your bottom lip and one final thrust, you hurl into a sea of white light and neverending euphoria.

Chan follows you with a loud howl, clinging to your body as if you’ll disappear any second. Beneath your haze of pleasure, you feel his hot release paint your insides and warm you to the core. He places a hand over your lower stomach before collapsing against your immobille figure.

Carefully and gently, you coax Chan to sit up enough so you could see his face. Heavy gasps fell from his lips, attempting to regain lost air. You also notice how heavily he was shaking. Your whisper breaks the afterglow of silence, “You’re trembling…”

He shakes his head with a crooked smile, “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay…”

You caress the sweaty locks from his forehead and lean forward to place a long peck to the center. While one hand rubs at his back, the other scratches at his left, furry ear. A rumbling purr emerges from his chest as he lowers to lay against your chest.

“Chan?...”

He hums tiredly.

“I forgive you.”

No other words are said. And no other words need to be said. The two of you continue to bask in the heat of each other’s bodies long into the moonless night. Slumber never approaches, only loving touches and beating hearts call for contentment. And even when morning comes, neither of you move from your tight embrace until the sun is high in the sky and the foreboding calls of a harsh reality sound.

***

“Changbinnie-hyung, how much longer?”

Changbin sighs at the youngest fox’s repeated question, but answers nonetheless, “Soon, Jeongin. Two or three hours at most.”

“We’ve been driving all day. Shouldn’t we be there by now?” Hyunjin questions. You smile at the sight of Seungmin’s head leant against his shoulder, his ears as droopy as his eyelids. It didn’t take long for the two to make up after the quarrell, especially after Minho and Chan explained the bigger situation to everyone.

Minho, up in the driver’s seat again, answers this time, “You better shut your damn trap before I throw you out of this car.”

The dalmatian makes no move at pressing his luck. You can’t blame the kid.

“Someone’s a little cranky.” You murmur to yourself.

“You try driving with this chatterbox next to you for twelve plus hours.”

Shit. You forgot about his enhanced hearing.

“(Y/N)-ah, are you feeling better?” You turn to meet Woojin’s concerned gaze and attempt to ease his worry with a soft smile.

“Actually, I am. I think the drug is wearing off.”

Ever since you woke up with Chan, you haven’t had any issues involving headaches, agitation or even nausea. Even those weird flashes of yellow just stopped. You and Chan talked about it earlier, but you think it has something to do with your unique DNA. Although you’re human, the hybrid genes in your blood probably eliminated the drug from your symptoms along with any countering effects. You wish it worked faster, but you have to take what you can get.

Things might work out for the better after all.

“Look! It’s Miroh!” Your eyes snap up to where Jisung is pointing. Your heart both lurches and pulses at the view of the city, miles and miles away. Buildings were lit up like holiday lights in the pitch black of night; a memory of the zoo and your aunt pops into your head. You smile.

She would have loved to see that.

“What are we gonna do once we get to Yellow Wood, Channie-hyung?” Seungmin sits up from the dalmatian’s shoulder, only to wrap a tight arm around his chest and pull him into his side.

Chan shrugs, “Whatever we want. We can go anywhere, do anything.”

“Can we going swimming in the ocean? Like the history books talked about?” Jeongin pipes up. His words laced with childish and innocent hope.

The wolf chuckles, “Those sound like great ideas, Innie.”

“Where would we live, though?” The orange tabby calls from the front, earning a sharp glare from the coyote. Felix turns completely around to face Chan and tilts his head, “There’s probably no shelters in tact or any civilizations…”

“Why not a treehouse?” Your offer erupts the vehicle into chaos. The 00 line and Jeongin burst into discussions of possible layouts and materials to build the actual houses. Through your peripheral, you catch Chan staring at you with eyes of love and admiration. His gaze brings a heated blush across your cheeks.

“We’re definitely living in a treehouse! Like in that one old movie…”

Seungmin finishes for Hyunjin with an annoyed sigh, “Jumanji..?”

“Yeah!”

You giggle, “Sounds like a plan.”

Before anyone can extend any more suggestions regarding the plan of the treehouse, the vehicle jerks and swerves to the side. You stretch your arms outward to protect Jisung and Jeongin from being thrown out of the window. Minho slams on the brakes, coaxing the car to an unsteady stop. He mutters a curse before shaking his head, “Shit. We blew out a tire. We’re gonna have to go the rest of the way on foot.”

“We’re close though.” Chan adds while helping the younger hybrids out of the jeep. Woojin and Changbin proceed to empty the inside and hand everyone their respective bags and suitcases.

You help Jeongin slip his bag around his shoulders before grabbing your own, “Yeah. We’ll be there before you know it.”

You take up the lead with Chan, who grabs your hand, lifts it up and presses a peck to the back of your knuckles. You both are met with a chorus of disgusted groans and whistles which steal laughs and chuckles from your throats. Lugging his suitcase along, you follow Chan as he makes his way deeper into the forest. The rest of the boys not too far behind.

“We’re looking for some sort of lock for that key, right?”

Chan nods, “Yep. I hope it’s not too hard to find.”

“I just wish we knew what we were looking for.” You sigh while gazing longingly through the array of shadowy tree trunks. “I mean, it could be anything for all we know.”

“Hey. We’ll find it.” The wolf sends you a supportive smirk, “And maybe once we’re alone again, you’ll allow me a bite of my favorite snack…”

“You’re such a dork.” Your groan pulls a loud laugh from your lover’s throat. You can’t help but smile, “I love you.”

“I love you more, my mate.”

You shiver, “Still getting used to that.”

“Don’t act like it doesn’t turn you on.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

You, Chan and the other boys move deeper through the forest until you emerge at yet another open field. Your eyes widen when you notice a looming structure just about a hundred feet or two up ahead. It was a stone wall, cracked with age and home to hundreds of patches of vines and moss. You’ve never seen something so tall in your life, even skyscrapers back in Miroh’s capital couldn’t compare.

“Holy shit. That’s the border, isn’t it?”

Minho’s call carries from behind your shoulder, “We did it! We fucking did it!”

“I can’t believe it.” Seungmin gasps. “It’s so tall.”

Felix shakes his head, “How do we get through it?”

“It looks like there’s some type of gate just up ahead.” You point to the iron barred gate hinged in the exact middle of the tall border. Like the rest of the wall, it looked completely abandoned and unguarded. Border patrol was never an issue, since there’s nothing beyond Miroh’s limits. At least, that’s what you originally thought.

“Good eye, (Y/N). Let’s head out-”

“-Wait!” Everyone freezes at the frantic yell of the bengal hybrid. You angle your head to peer at the boy, discovering his eyes to be blown wide and large ears rotating back and forth. Your skin crawls when the rest of the boys tense, and for once, you wish you had super senses like them.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…” Changbin growls, his head whirling up toward the sky. You follow, attempting to see whatever him and the other hybrids were startled by, but discover nothing but stars and a waxing crescent moon.

“What’s going on?”

“Helicopters.” Chan replies in a mellow tone, “We have to move now.”

“No way! If they see us, it’s game over!” Seungmin argues before gesturing back toward the trees, “We should hide until they go away.”

“I don’t understand how they found us in the first place. (Y/N)-noona, you don’t have a tracker, do you?”

You shake your head at Jisung’s inquiry, “Nope.”

“Guys…” Everyone turns to look at Jeongin. His ears were downcast and eyes wide with fright. He spins around and bends his neck to show the unnatural bump at the base of his neck. The size of a tiny tracker. “I didn’t realize I still had it until you guys mentioned it…”

“Fucking hell, Jeongin…” Minho groans while feverishly shaking his head. “Goddamn it, we’re screwed.”

“We have to make a break for it. It’s the only chance we have.” Chan urges, “Once we get outside the border, they won’t follow us.”

“We have to get there first.” Woojin quickly, with the help of Felix, slices at Jeongin’s neck and removes the metal device. He crushes it in his palm and throws the pieces into the grass, “I say we split up. One group goes left and the other goes-”

You interrupt, “-No. All of us should just go for the gate. Chan can get there first, open it and get us through before they get down here.”

“(Y/N)’s right. We just have to run.” Chan tosses his suitcase to the side. Everyone else follows his lead, eliminating any variables that could decrease your chances of success. You gather into a line with Jisung and Chan at your sides. You throw the bengal a determined look before turning to the awaiting gate.

Bright, intimidating searchlights illuminate your path, almost as if leading you to your doom. You will the negative thoughts to subside and instead focus on the good that will arise out of this. You and the boys will escape. You will be free. You will be happy.

It all comes down to this.

With your heart pulsing in your ears and the thoughts in your mind roaring, you barely hear Chan’s yell:

“Now! Go! Go!”

You take off at the signal, not too far behind Jeongin and Changbin. Jisung, Hyunjin and Felix take up the front and are first to enter the eyes of the lights. Alarms and screams sound within your ears, but you can’t tell if the screams are yours. Chan passes you and the other boys. Like lightning, he dashes straight toward the gate.

Too focused on the wolf, you fail to notice the rocks of the terrain and trip. You go flying and crash rather painfully onto the earth. Your hip screams in pain, the sound traveling past your lips. You almost panic. Key word: Almost.

Minho appears behind you and yanks you to your feet, “Goddamn it, (Y/N)-ah, c’mon! Run, run!”

The boys were already so far ahead of you, maybe seventy five percent of the way to the gate. Still unmoving, you take a peek at the helicopter situation and discover maybe three or fours birds hovering in the night sky. Silhouettes emerge from the open hatch of the closest one and slide down what seems to be a rope ladder. The closer you look, the more you realize how much you underestimated their speed. There had to be at least a dozen guards already on your tail. You check the front and spot Chan and Changbin struggling to force open the gate.

You’ll never make it.

“(Y/N)-ah, what the fuck are you doing!? Run, goddamn it! Run-!”

“-Minho, listen to me!” You take the coyote by the shoulders and shake your head, “I’m the one they want. You guys will be able to get out of here if I-”

Minho hisses, “-Don’t you fucking dare spew your bullshit hero complex right now, (Y/N)-ah. If we get out, we all get out-”

“-It’s not going to happen, Minho! Look around us! We’re surrounded!” You check the distance of the guards again, not happy to find them a lot closer than before. In a matter of minutes, they would reach you and the others hybrids. “Let me save you guys! One last time!”

“I already said it’s not fucking happening! If we go, you go!” With that, Minho grabs your wrist and forces you to move. Chan and Woojin were all working to help each one of the youngsters climb through a hole they were able to create near the top of the gate.

Changbin notices how far behind you and the coyote are and yells, “Minho-hyung! (Y/N)-ah, hurry!”

You both reach the gate faster than you would have thought, but it’s still not enough to separate enough distance between you and the approaching guards. Chan and Woojin help Changbin up and through the exit, followed by Minho.

Chan nods, “(Y/N), help me with Woojin.”

The two of you work together to lift Woojin up. His weight is painful on your already aching body, but you persevere through the pain. The bear manages to squeeze through the hole, and with the help of the hybrids on the either side, land safely. He gestures for you and Chan to come next.

“You first, Chan.”

He shakes his head with a sneer, “I’m not falling for this again, (Y/N). You’re going-”

“-There’s no time to argue! Just-”

A gunshot and Chan’s pained scream disrupt your demand. Your gaze falls to see a bullet wound right in the center of Chan’s calf and you’re quick to support him before he can fall. You shake your head and curse, “Fuck! You have to go now! Right now!”

“I’m not leaving you!”

“Goddamn it, Chan! Guys, help me!”

“No! Get her up first!”

To your disappointment, the other boys follow their leader and through the bars, help Chan raise you so you can reach the hole and crawl through. You collapse to the grass with a loud thud before scrambling to your feet. Just in time, you see the guards fall upon the wolf.

“No! Stop!” You screech, fighting against Minho’s grip on your arms. “I’m the one you want!”

“(Y/N), don’t-“

You wrench from the coyote’s grip and launch up toward the way you came in. Your legs are grabbed before you can crawl back through, but you hold on for dear life. Turning to the closest guard, you scream, “I’ll go with you willingly, if you let him go!”

Chan growls, “No, (Y/N)-“

“-Take me instead!”

The guards all look at each other, seemingly having some sort of telepathic debate. You kick your legs away from the boys just in time for the head guard to nod.

They help you back on the other side before turning to help a screaming and struggling Chan. They manage to push him though and you watch him fall to the grass on the other side with tears of relief. A burden that has remained on your chest for so long finally lifts. And you see nothing but the nine hybrids standing on the other side of the border.

Finally free from Miroh.

Even when fingers close around your arms and yank you away from the gate, you don’t look away. Chan and Minho and all the other’s screams of your name go unheard against the blood rushing through your ears. You don’t even try to struggle, because what’s the point?

Your main objective is already done:

You found Stray Kids, and now they’re finally free.

It’s all over… right?...

#stray kids x reader #stray kids smut #bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #stray kids fanfic #bang chan au #stray kids #bang chan #woojin #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #felix #seungmin #i.n.#kpop fanfic

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ofmelodys · 4 years ago

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☽˚｡⋆. 𝑴𝑬𝑳𝑶𝑫𝒀 𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑬𝑼𝑳 𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑲

[ 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐈 // 𝐂𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍 // 𝐒𝐇𝐄/𝐇𝐄𝐑 ] – oh my god, is that [ 𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 ]?! the tabloids can’t seem to stop buzzing about the [ 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐎𝐍𝐄 ] year old [ 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑/𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐁𝐄𝐑 ]. the industry has dubbed [ 𝐡𝐞𝐫 ] [ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄 ] and sources say, [ 𝐬𝐡𝐞 ] is [ 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃 ] and [ 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 ], yet also [ 𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐕𝐄 ] and [ 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄 ]. yet, with all this gossip, who really knows?! one thing’s for sure, though– queen bee has it out for [ 𝐡𝐞𝐫 ]!

my lovely bbs , i know already that i love u all KJNJSKNJ . hi friends ! i am s, i reside in the cst timezone, im 21 and my pronouns are she/her. although classes have just started for me, i think this semester will be pretty easy so i’ll be around to develop melody! ok, i’ll stop ranting. below you will find mel’s bio and wanted connections! please like this post and i’ll hit you up to plot or reach out to me on discord at L𝐚𝐮𝐯, 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐯, 𝐋𝐚𝐔𝐯 😩✨#5550.

** TW: ANXIETY **

☽˚｡⋆. 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐁𝐈𝐎 !

melody haneul park was born and raised in toronto, canada. her father, park kyungsoo, was originally born in busan, south korea, and her mother, susan park, was also born and raised in canada. her parents had met at work after kyungsoo had transferred to toronto for his new job. they quickly fell in love, didn’t hesitate and got married. soon enough susan was pregnant with their little melody.

after mel was born, her parents decided not to have any more kids. one was enough for them, especially because neither of them wanted to stop working-- kyungsoo was due for a promotion to a senior position role in this corporate org, and susan was too. because of this, melody quickly fell into the world of daycares and nannies.

throughout elementary and middle school, melody was an extremely shy kid. she didn’t have many friends and kept to herself.

in high school, she tried to open up a little more-- she joined the anime and video games club, since she was absolutely obsessed with everything technology-- her parents gifted her a pc gaming set-up and she fell in love with the world of gaming ever since. her first game was mortal kombat and from there on she played every type of game you could imagine. realistically, she had more friends online than she did at school, so her video games were her escape.

throughout high school, she learned some basic coding skills (and also how to hack certain systems, but that’s lowkey a secret) and realized that she eventually wanted to work in the world of it or some form of technology, maybe video game design?..

her father was all for it, but her mother was skeptical. even though she was, melody still graduated and decided to major in video game design at her local college.

in her freshman year, she was semi bored of her classes-- so she joined extra curriculars, like the gaming club, anime club again, etc.. but she was still bored, so she then decided to start up a twitch streaming account. she would stream gameplay of an abundance of games, but the video game that got her the most views and caused her to go viral was overwatch.

once her following was getting bigger and bigger (on both twitch and youtube), and she was gaining a large amount of income from it, she started to wonder if video game design was still what she wanted to do..

after some thinking, she decided to drop out from college after her freshman year. while her parents were both extremely disappointed in her decision, they didn’t fully understand how much money she truly could make from streaming and making youtube videos.

after dropping out, she decided to pack everything and move to la. again, of course her parents were disappointed, but they tried their hardest to support her.

flash forward about two years, and melody aka melodiesgaming, is now in the top ten channels with the most subscribers, and top ten in twitch as well. right now she is streaming a lot of animal crossing new horizons gameplay, along with silly games like fall guys and overwatch every now and then. most of her youtube videos are about playing obscure small games that people had never heard of.

one thing about her and fame that don’t mesh well is that she’s.. not very good at socializing lol? like in interviews and at big events its so obvious shes uncomfortable and anxious and her agent tries to help her with it but ... eh lol. she was diagnosed with anxiety at a young age which also contributes.

but when she’s streaming or interacting with her fans, she’s super outgoing and hilarious!

she is also lowkey naive, falls too fast, all that jazz...

she claims that she is straight but she is a closeted bisexual. she has no idea when she’ll be comfortable enough to come out to the public but hopefully that’s soon.

also, she’s insecure about not being a good enough streamer/youtuber when she clearly is because why would she have this many subs yknow?? also, esp bc she lives in la she feels like she has to keep up with appearances and that’s a big insecurity as well.

☽˚｡⋆. 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 !

** CONNECTIONS OPEN TO ALL GENDERS UNLESS SPECIFIED **

- best friend (0/1)

- best friend/streamer youtuber buddy (1/1) taken by noemi

- friends she met online (1/?) one spot taken by venus

- childhood friend if anyone is from canada (1/?) one spot taken by tarik

- first love (0/1)

- first (secret) time with a girl (1/1) taken by poppy

- first time (general) (0/1)

- rival/enemy/bully (0/?)

- ex ** must be a man unless the relationship was secret ** (1/?) one spot taken by baz

- summer fling (0/?)

- sister bond (1/1) taken by annie

- skinny love (0/1)

- close friends (0/?)

- clout pal (0/?)

- unrequited (0/1)

- confidant (1/1)

- fwb, one night stand etc **must be man unless secret hookup which would also be fun** (0/?)

- enemy with benefits **see above** (1/1) one spot taken by sienna

these are all simply ideas and i’m open to literally anything!

#renownedintro #heeh hi

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daisiesnpears · 5 years ago

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⌠ BAHAR SAHIN, 21, CISWOMAN, SHE/HER ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, SOPHIA SOLAK! according to their records, they’re a SECOND year, specializing in SEDUCTION AND FLIRTATION + AWARENESS TRAINING, BREATH CONTROL, HAND TO HAND COMBAT; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( kind words upon soft lips, a stack of worn romance novels between her bed and her bedside table, tights worn with doc martens, blending in and out whenever the need arises, a softness that underestimates determination ). when it’s the (pisces)’s birthday on 03 / 19 / 1998, they always request their FRENCH MACARONS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ mel, 22, she/her, est ⍀

born in ireland, sophia had what she calls a normal childhood, even though it would be quite odd for most; her mother, a local politician, wasn’t the most loyal sort -- had a few relationships with men, three of which left her with three daughters; sophia is the middle child, but both her older and younger sister are actually half sisters

sophia’s father was relatively normal -- a farmer who kept up his family business after his parents passed away, he came into contact with her mom to settle a complaint, after which they went on a couple of dates . sophia’s dad was probably the most serious out of all of her mom’s conquests and could have even led to marriage had it not been for her mother’s fear of commitment

sophia, who goes by fee with her dad, always had a closer relationship with her father rather than her mother, although was still really close with her sisters; the only one out of all of them to still be in contact with her father, fee counted herself lucky to have three people she loved and who loved her

not that she didn’t care for her mother too, but it felt like her daughters were as disposable as the men who’d helped conceive them ; useful for campaigns and to up public opinion, always needing to keep a clean image for their mother, but otherwise, seemed to care very little for them

extended her family after meeting amelia and ro, who quickly became like sisters to her

fee’s always been the sort of girl who could easily blend into the crowd because she’s just naturally really sweet and quiet, but has also always easily moved in and out of the crowd, making herself known when she felt the need to and fading back into the crowd afterwards

very girl next door type; beautiful and sweet

got into gallagher thanks to amelia, for which she’s incredibly grateful for tbh, even though you wouldn’t think so given that she doesn’t exactly fit the mold (ngl, probably really missed her when she was away for that first year) -- loves all her classes and learning how to get into people’s hearts and thoughts to get what she wants or needs

as a former ballet dancer, sophia was also kind of a natural when it came to combat, despite her peaceful exterior . loves training, definitely moves with the sort of flow you’d expect from a dancer ; quiet and graceful on her feet . she definitely needed help at first since her skills weren’t really in hitting things, but she’s coming into her own

wanted connections:

exes; fee is bi, so either gender is fine

ex-flings/one night stands/friends with benefits, etc.

uhh I’ll think of more eventually but come AT me

#gallagher:intro #( daisies pears & the sky ; sophia solak )

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stabbingandorbeingstabbed · 5 years ago

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IT TOLD ME "BAD REQUEST" WHEN I TRIED TO SEND THIS LAST TIME SO IM GONNA TRY AGAIN ANYWAY I LOVE THESE 9, 11, 19, 21, 23, 29, 43, 44, 64, 76, 89, 92, 98

HALLIE BLESS YOU for never giving up i LOVE doing these god ALRIGHTY

9. favorite smell in the summer?

honestly probably like. sunscreen and chlorine?? even tho i havent gone swimming in like the better part of a decade it just smells like Childhood u know??? simpler times lmao

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

well on an average day i wake up in the morning just long enough to take bean dip out and feed her breakfast and then Immediately shuffle back to bed until i have to go into work at like 2pm so usually i have like a Tiny glass of orange juice and a 6 hour nap for breakfast tbh

19. sleeping position?

on my stomach sprawled out but also contorted around my tiny dog who somehow manages to sleep in the Dead Center of my queen sized bed Every Night Without Fail

21. obsession from childhood?

okay as a kid i was kind of obsessed with titanic around the time the movie came out so i was about 5?? but like i wasnt Allowed to see the movie so i just tirelessly researched the disaster itself which kind of alarmed the adult figures in my life?? i was also obsessed with mummies but i feel like thats a bit more acceptable lmao

23. strange habits?

i dont really know how Strange it is but i end up at the nearest 24 hr grocery store almost every night bc im genuinely nocturnal and i get Restless at around like 12-3 am and just want something to Do so i’ll just. go to meijer and peruse the cosmetics aisle for like a suspiciously long time and always end up buying something bc i already LOOK like a teenage delinquent and i dont want them to think im coming in to steal lipstick like i did when i actually WAS a teenage delinquent

29. best way to bond with you?

talk to me about mcr like literally this is the reason me and my long distance bff are still So Close bc he can put up with my Rambling about The Boys and i listen when he calls me from his apartment in scenic ryan ross’ upper digestive tract like its all about having shared or adjacent interests babey!!!! lmao

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

i definitely wear my denim jacket with the patches the most but i wouldnt be a true jacket slut if i didnt give honorable mention to both my leather jackets and my Stupidly Large bomber jacket id be nothing without them

44. favorite scent for soap?

ooh this is gonna be Controversial but i worked at lush for the holiday season like a few years back and fell in LOVE with their karma soap which is literally just like Straight Up Patchouli with a LITTLE hint of sweet orange and like id bathe in that shit and follow it up with karma lotion and for like a year everyone was like “you smell like you work at a head shop” which was fair but whatever dude i think it smells Lovely lmao

64. favorite website from your childhood?

i did spend a Stupid amount of time on the mcr flash site playing that flying nun game and watching their music videos during my middle school computer class but my first like online Community was actually the fall out boy rocks message boards id spend HOURS lurking there AND its where i saw my first dick bc i was ON THERE when petes sidekick got hacked lmao like i. wouldnt be the person i am today if i hadnt spent so much time on the fobr boards tbh for better or worse

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

oh man if we’re going basic im saying fries but specifically fries from rallys/checkers and if we’re going Cultured im gonna say samosas filled with spiced potatoes bc i had them exactly one (1) time and never forgot and have been craving them like a motherfuck for the past week

89. who would you put before everyone else?

the easy answer is my mom bc like, even tho we dont see eye to eye on almost anything at all shes put up with a fair amount of shit from me and is still willing to put me up while i try to get my life together and like be an actual adult so i kinda owe her lmao but if she doesnt count then definitely gerard way and there are no runners up

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights and lamps all the way idc if its like 2013 tumblr aesthetic i Hate overhead lighting its too Harsh!!!!

98. favorite historical era?

honestly im not really sure what else was going on in the world during this time bc history in a broad sense never really caught my interest but i’d LOVE to go back to when the spiritualist movement was in full swing and you could just like. go to a seance for fun on the weekend like that sounds like my idea of a good time

#oohhh these were fun i didnt even know the answer to a few of them without doing some like Introspection lmao #theseventh-son

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grasslandgirl · 6 years ago

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bookstore, knitting, and cozy for the cozy asks!!!

jj ILY and im SO SORRY im only JUST getting to this sbfjks im terrible!!!!!!

OK SO

bookstore: favorite childhood book?

hm. i guess this depends on like what u qualify as childhood book?? ill give three from three different eras of Childhood

Goodnight Moon, Margaret Wise Brown- this was the baby book my parents read to me almost nightly when i was a baby, and my mom can probably recite it by memory at this point..... its so sweet and gentle

Nate the Great Saves the King of Sweden, Marjorie Weinman Sharmat, Marc Simont: I counted this as my first “real chapter book” that I read by myself as a kid, and as such was my self professed favorite book for many years on sentimentality alone. I don’t remember much of the plot anymore, but to the best of my recollection it was about a young aspiring detective (Nate) who happened to discover the king of Sweden hidden in a basement cupboard at his friend’s after she gets back from vacation.......... or something

The Last Olympian, Rick Riordan: to absolutely no one’s surprise, i was a HUGE percy jackson stan in elementary and middle school, and this (the fifth and final book in the percy jackson and the olympians series) held and will always hold a special place in my heart. that being said, I’m due for an all encompassing reread of a like 15 book series. most of which i already own. I have no shame.

knitting: what’s a hobby that you would like to start?

tbh not to be ironic but i’d love to learn how to knit- it seems to practical and fun and relaxing and i really love scarves and sweaters and gloves SO

but also i REALLY want to learn to play a musical instrument; ideally and predictably guitar, piano, ukulele, or drums

uhhh i did martial arts for like 6 years in middle/high school and kind of miss that though im REALLY out of practice

and the sentimental artist in me loves ballet and misses it from when i danced when i was like 8 but like... that’s never going to happen so

cozy: favorite gift you’ve ever received?

hm.

a target basket

ok story time bkdjvbkfjvb

so i did theatre in high school- like a LOT of theatre- and the theatre teacher/ artistic director/ director of shows was, as most theater teachers are, Quirky.

one of her (many) quirks was that she would carry all of her things everyday in a Harris Teeter grocery basket (for the followers who aren’t from south eastern USA/ areas where harris teeters don’t exist- they’re pretty standard grocery stores (owned by Kroger now) and the baskets are the green rectangular plastic ones youre supposed to use in the store if you’re only picking up a few items, but you’re NOT supposed to bring home)

but yeah she carried all her shit in a plastic basket- her purse, keys, water bottle, laptop, food, script, etc. Everything!! and there were always a couple other baskets floating around the classroom and the auditorium- especially during a show- that had scripts and other assorted shit stored in them. it was just a staple of life in the department and no one knew WHY she had them or why she used them or how she got them. it just was

so my senior year roles around and as a senior theatre student im lucky enough to get the opportunity to assistant direct our spring musical- the sound of music!- alongside my teacher, the chorus teacher, and another student (PLEASE dm me about questions about this, it was one of the best experiences of my life and i will literally never shut up about it if given the chance)

and about halfway through rehearsals, a friend of mine (we’ll call her Sarah for anonymity’s sake) joked that i was acting like a mini version of our teacher; which, while accurate, was annoying in the way it is when someone say’s youre acting like your mom. like “yeah OK fine!! you dont have to Say It” bc in a lot of ways our theatre teacher was like our school mom. in the good ways and the bad ways.

and so Sarah joked that i was just like her, and all i was missing was her infamous basket

and i swear i saw the idea enter her brain

Sarah: I’m going to steal you a harris teeter basket for closing night gifts*!!

me: wtf no don’t do that

s: yes only no i know i’ll steal you a TARGET one bc youre a CLASSY bitch

m: literally Do Not steal me a basket

s: too bad!!!

[*- closing night gifts are when designers/technicians/stage managers get gifts for the production team (directors, musical director, SMs, etc) as a Thank You gift, Sarah took them Incredibly Seriously]

so flash forward like another month, and it’s closing night of the show, and im emo af and trying not to show it, bc im a senior and this show was my baby in a lot of ways, and this was the last show i was going to be working in the auditorium at my school, like, ever, and it was the last show i would ever work with a lot of my friends, so yeah. so, obviously, i was running around backstage like a chicken with it’s head cut off, putting out fires and trying to be useful

and it’s like an hour, maybe, before the show starts and Sarah walks into the green room (a room backstage where actors stay when they’re not in the dressing rooms/ backstage/ onstage, and bc its an hour before closing night, its a mad house)

and im talking to somebody in the greenroom, and at this point i haven’t forgotten her threat that she was going to steal me a basket, but we haven’t talked about it since the original discussion, and ive been hoping that SHE’S forgotten about it. and so bc im working and talking to someone, at first i don’t really see Sarah come in, i notice her out of the corner of my eye, and i don’t really realize what i see at first, and then my head whips around and there she is.

grinning all smug like the cat that ate the canary.

and she’s holding a target basket, of course.

and at that point its all too much and like a combination of the love i have for the show and all the grief that it’s ending and like im so Touched that she put in the thought and work and energy to get me this gift and im also like irritated just a little bc i told her Not To and OF COURSE she does it anyway and as a combination of everything i just kind of crumple to the ground in a combination of laughing and crying and i dont even know which im doing or which i did first

and im sure half the cast thought i lost my fucking mind bc i was just kneeling on the greenroom floor like cradling a target basket and laughing hysterically and sobbing

and then we had to do the show!

but all jokes aside, it’s surprisingly functional and useful and i use it pretty regularly

and as a bonus people are always confused by it bc im carrying around a target basket in random places, so that’s a bonus

jj ilysm thank for the ask im sorry this was an ESSAY

send me a cozy ask!!

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chiseki · 6 years ago

Text

Figured I’d make this an intro post, since I’m pretty much using this alternate url as an “out” url compared to my usual vagueness.

I’m Joshua. Yes, that matches the sidebar, so it’s not really surprising here.

And that would surprise an entire two people following my main blog that know me irl because the rest were previously informed. Maybe three people, I forget if the last one is on tumblr or not.

Which is, by the way, ““““““““fun”““““““““

Yup, having like three local friend circles that had relations to each other outside of myself, and only one of them being in the know is fun.

You can basically stop reading at this point, because from here on out is just gonna be a massive time rewind to.....jeez, fuck if I know when, my childhood? I promise there will be time skips, we don’t need that mess played at normal tempo. (Also some funny stories after the giant gap in the text, if you want to scroll for that).

Most of this story is actually located in college, but the only real indicator (aside from having a general dislike of dresses) was way back when I was in all of second grade--apparently I was so damn insulted I burned all these facts into my memory--and an older kid was brought into the classroom, gave us this cool sales pitch about do we want to learn to shoot a bow, go camping, build campfires, etc

and then was like “OH YEAH THIS IS THE BOY SCOUTS IT’S BOYS ONLY”

I was so hyped lol.

Wound up being in a mediocre girl scout troop later, and my brother obviously got directed into boy scouts. At which point I got to find out that their camping trips were mostly getting rained on and finding black windows and getting taught woodworking by a dude missing a chunk of finger.

So more suffering than child me would have expected, but they still got to build fires and go REAL camping and shoot bows and rifles and shit.

Meanwhile, in girl scouts, we went to this one set of cabins every year. We never stayed in the damn cabins, because someone would find A Bug in there, or a spider, and then someone ELSE would have the same issue, and no one wanted to be in a cabin alone let alone be the only one in the cabins at all, and we always wound up sleeping in the air conditioned lodge that was visible from the damn cabins.

Except the one year where we went to a different camp, stayed in the legendary caboose, and there was a bat sleeping on the outside of the window so no one wanted to sleep there except me.

My scout group was weak.

I miss the cookies, though.

Anyway, due to not being forced into gender-targeted toys and getting to play with whatever the fuck I wanted, I also have jack shit for anything resembling an early warning sign aside from the above.

Actually, scratch that, I was not really a fan of dresses. I mean, this was fair in general, since they were usually scratchy, didn’t fit my arms/shoulders right, were designs I had no say in, and everyone would get on my case if the dress might get even a LITTLE dirty. Had some skirts I liked in middle school, but even that was a mess of having to wear tights because my genes have never resulted in anything resembling a thigh gap.

And I was like, constantly trying to play with the guys in grade school. And they’d periodically get that “NYEHHHHHHH GUYS ONLYYYYYY” shit going on. That was never not infuriating tbh.

Flash forward to high school, still basically left to my own devices. Only indicator here was that I was just tickled fucking pink whenever I heard that I either passed at cons or was at least tossed in the “maybe.......?” zone.

Flash forward to college. I honestly don’t remember what set me off on thinking about it, but started eyeballing my gender with a microscope. Unfortunately I couldn’t apply a litmus test like sexuality, so there was a lot of “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfuck” going on.

Actually, I think part of it was that on the forum I hung out on, a lot of the old regulars had assumed I was a dude until a childhood friend had dropped a pronoun several times in succession & asserted its correctness, which then led to a discussion along the lines of “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat”.

But yeah, started testing the waters.

Also tried going to a LGBT+ club like, once. With the gal I was either dating at the time or was about to be dating, my memory is shit tbh. “HEY SO HOW ABOUT WE ALL JUST COME OUT TO EACH OTHER, A BUNCH OF STRANGERS <33333333″ still freaks me out, honestly. I get why it’s generally done, but like, no thanks. But I was horrendously obvious in ducking about the gender question and she totally called me out on it later in private lol. Also got me my first binder, but I digress.

Anyway, basically spilled on “I’m.....probably..............? a dude...........? jsyk??????” to my immediate friends, which was met with a lot of “.....YEAH ACTUALLY THAT MAKES SENSE” and a “hang on I need a dictionary........ok I get it”

I think I was the least smooth part of anything resembling a coming-out just due to like, me not wanting to have to tell people to do things for me? It’s something I find extremely awkward, like I know it’s that horribly stereotypical dating thing of “what’s wrong, bby, what do I have to do” “I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO” but.

And that’s an entire digression about how my relationship with my mother often included me saying a lot of shit I had to say convincingly, but didn’t mean at all, and probably led to me having fuckall faith in what people say, most especially when under a forced prompt. I could do an essay on that, but not here.

Which, admittedly, I’m gonna rewind here because I think it’s funny in hindsight, but it means the dictionary reaction went like “SO...........I’M.............TRANS?” “What?” [thinking this is pushback on the idea] [PANIC MODE] “UH” “Like, literally, what does that word mean, I've never heard it in my life.” “OH. WELL. Heh. Uh. That internal reaction I had was embarrassing then, oops.”

Anyway.

Then the collective action was, “well, have you picked a name what do you MEAN you haven’t picked a name, we can’t just run about calling you by your deadname after all that”

And I tossed some names out, that I’m not going to list, because they were just fucking awful. So I got interventioned and the method became throwing names at me until they stuck.

Adam? Nah I knew an Adam and I can’t unassociate with that

Noah? Violin teacher’s third kid was named Noah. Same issue with Gabriel and Caleb.

Benjamin? I fucking grew up with a Benjamin he would kill me.

you get the idea.

And those were like, actual reasonable rejections. At least half the time I was just like “I DON’T LIKE HOW IT SOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNDS.” Take, for example, Josh. I 1) knew one in high school and he was a piece of work and 2) I just, inexplicably, don’t like how the word sounds.

Which is part irony and part masochism that JoshUA stuck.

I mean, that name had pre-existing connotations for me. I had played..........a game.........in high school. And given that my options were pretty shafted to Stereotypical White Boy Names if I didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb, some positive(?) pre-existing connotations were going to be needed.

Incidentally, I had a v. sweet trans girl offer me her deadname, which was a cool name, but just, like, didn’t fit me in particular so. She also picked her name by RNG tournament, with the top 10 baby names for her year being the competitors. Which was neat and worked well for her, but I know I would have just re-run the fucking tourney if I didn’t like the winner lol.

But anyway, continuing on to a less flowery story. I’ll add some blank lines so it’s skippable. No need to set off every other person with gender issues here.

Decided to come out to my family. Apparently time fuzzed down my memories of being devoured by mosquitos outside while my parents were trying to decipher that their kid was holding hands with a girl in the back of the van and that girl had been planned to sleep over that night, and despite the fact that booth teens wouldn’t be jumping to sex that fast nor had the equipment to make a kid between them....it was Reason For Concern like a straight couple sharing a bed.

I mean, my mom was convinced that anything touching the nether regions was SEX and PREMARITAL SEX was EVIL. But I digress.....again.

So. I tell them. And the reaction ranged from “well ok I mean you’ve always been weird” (thanks, bro) to “uh I guess my last name’s odds of getting inherited just doubled........?” to “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME”

Yeah. That last one was word for word. Some stuff was thrown, lots of crying (”I CAN’T EVEN DO MY MAKEUP AND IT’S YOUR FAULT”)--both of which were not my doing, though I got shocked(?) into my own set of tears iirc.

I think I set a speed record for climbing back into the closet. Like, a week later, everyone was pretending it never happened. I sorta emotionally cut ties with my mom at that point--kept it civil, but Did Not Want to discuss my life or friends at all with her or in any way that would get back to her.

So obviously, no one in my family knows I go by Joshua. If they asked, I would tell them, but lo and behold, zero questions, they never brought it up again, etc. And I’ve been very careful about not letting that knowledge spread, not putting it on the internet in a way that connects back to my legal name, being primed at any point to pretend “Joshua” is a mutual friend and to not respond to that name if someone accidentally calls me by it.

Incidentally, during Yet Another Family Counseling that was at least performed at an individual level this time, my mom apparently told the counselor that she thought she handled that well. Last I checked, making the situation about yourself and doing the whole “woe is me, the mother, with a child like this” shpeal was not “well”.

And I mean the WHOLE shpeal. If you’ve ever had the misfortune to see the posts by parents of trans kids that wax soliloquy about losing their child and mourning their “death” (especially the ones that aren’t all “but I got a new kid!”) like, the ones especially cut from the same cloth that would be like “my child is autistic but ~I~ am the inspiration for waking up in the morning” like no, your kid is the inspiration for dealing with you.

And if anyone is wondering, this is basically the Midwest Stereotype for....LGBT, interracial dating, etc rejection imo. Seemingly ok with it, but NO WAIT HANG ON, NOT MY CHILD. Like, I legit had trans kids explained to me (albeit without terms for it) at a relatively young age by my mother and yet. “X exists but not in our good christian neighborhood” attitude. Ugh.

So where was I? Hmm, yes, funny Joshua stories. Ok I have like ONE story. One of my friends that was in the know finally got me to play Trails in the Sky. Now, this sucker has a chunk of text lead-in with a ~mysterious~ boy that young Estelle’s father has brought home, and the whole discussion skips his name, ending on “my name is....”. Then it time-skips to present day, finally casually dropping this dude’s name, which, obviously, is Joshua.

My friend did not tell me this.

No warning, nada. Only Estelle had really come up in conversation.

And then we collectively dragged another friend into the abyss with us, except he wasn’t in the know. We also had him streaming his playing sessions when our schedules coincided, which led to--because of a shitty accuracy stat--him yelling (as we did) “JOSHUA!” frequently in combat.

I debated on just responding “Yes?” randomly one day in the most casual closet-exit possible. Then procrastinated by deciding to just be out with it at the end of the first game since he’d also played twewy.

Some of you have probably started to eye my avatars with judgement in your hearts. That’s fair.

Anyway, we had forgotten about another character that practically had his name, so at least I had someone to share my weird feelings with.

And then, he started the second game, and I didn’t hold back on responding “yes?” every time “Joshua” was used as an interjection.

Also because of that one post about biblical names, I will respond to any use of “Jesus”.

#chiseki talks about chiseki

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itstheendofthegoddamnworld · 7 years ago

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My Night Guard (Ahkmenrah x Reader Inserted.)

A one-shot of Ahkmenrah because I love him and Rami Malek too much. I love the Night at the Museum movies and I was so sad that they didn’t make anymore, they will always be part of my childhood! Sorry if it sucks!

You had always loved history. From a young age, you always found yourself trying to go visit any museum close by, learning about historical figures and events that shaped and mapped our world today.

You were just 16 years old when your parents divorced, your dad deciding to go back to live in New York, to stay with his close relatives, and your mum staying back home in London. You were just an only child, and unfortunately, that meant you had the decision of choosing where to live with, all thanks to the divorce agreements.

In the end, you decided to live with your dad and go across the pond to live with him in New York, and occasionally go back to visit your mum once a year back home in London.

It was alright, to be honest; you did miss your mum from time to time, your friends you had to leave back in London, but you managed to make new friends at your new high school that you went to for two years. Managing to pass all your exams and get that offer from your universities that you wanted, and to study a degree in Law and History.

But, you didn’t.

You scrapped the whole idea and decided to just... take a year out. You did know that your dad was disappointed with your final and last-minute decision. Mainly because he wanted you to be happy and to succeed and get the best job out there. But you knew there was much more to the world that you wanted to explore.

So, you began saving up, going from a part-time job to another, and unfortunately not finding the job that was ideal enough for you. That was for 3 years now, and you still hadn’t found a job that stuck.

Luckily for you, your uncle, Larry, was a former Night Guard at the Natural History Museum in New York, and you immediately fell in love with the idea of being stuck around history for the night. It kinda sucked at first; missing out on 8 hours of sleep a night, but that was a risk you were willing to take. On the other hand, it meant that you could just lounge around at home during the day.

What Uncle Larry didn’t tell you was that the Museum’s artefacts... came to life each night, so it was both thrilling and nerve-racking to be chased the first night by a t-rex. It got eventually better, you got to speak and meet famous figures; like having a chat with President Theodore Roosevelt, talking to Sacagawea about her amazing tracking skills, and even get a ride on the back of Rexy (the t-Rex I was talking about).

All the figures were welcoming to you, making you feel very welcomed and immediately feeling like you were part of the museum family, but one person always caught your eye each night.

The Pharaoh. Not just any Pharaoh; King Ahkmenrah, fourth King of the fourth King, etc. His name and many titles were something that surprised you at first since it was really the first time you had actually interacted with him. Nevertheless, your introductions signified how awkward you were when it came to meeting new people- and in the worse occasions- speaking to someone who was incredibly good looking.

You still cringe about it to this day/night, “I’m... Y/N... erm... daughter of {F/N} and... I‘m from... London.” It couldn't go anymore embarrassingly short for your greeting and probably one of the weirdest ways of introducing yourself to someone.

At first, you thought he was kind and spoke confidently - since he was a Pharaoh - it was only after a couple more nights you realised some so crucial that you had been missing all this time about him.

He would just... go anywhere you went. Always seeming to be there in the distance, watching you ran around each exhibit, watching from the sideline if you spoke to someone, or was there when you were struggling to keep control of one of the artefacts (mainly the Neanderthals or Dexter).

You did sometimes catch his gaze, his warm smile flashing to you, making you dart your eyes elsewhere. Sometimes if you were feeling brave, you would small talk him. It didn't help that you were sometimes a stuttering mess and would leave in a hurry if trouble was underway, leaving you to make a dash before you said anything more to make yourself weird in front of him.

For a King of Egypt, he was definitely cute and very sweet to talk to, a proper gentleman that you would never get in this day and age (but he’s not really from this day and age, he’s like 4000 years old.)

You eventually gained a crush on Ahkmenrah, and it wasn’t long before the other exhibits noticed. Jed and Oct would tease you about it all night long, and occasionally Attila too- if you understood his language and what he was saying.

To not get any more embarrassed at the situation, you tried your best to avoid him, but everywhere you went, he seemed to trail behind, almost making sure that you were okay. Every time you turned around, his cute handsome face would be there to greet you, a small blush on his tanned sharp cheeks and that large bright smile that would make you immediately melt under his brown-eyed gaze.

This night was very different from the others. You got in the museum a bit later to lock up than as usual, meaning when you got there, everything and everyone had come to life already and were moving around. Tired and groggy, you avoided Rexy’s loud footsteps, making your way to the desk in the middle of the ground floor.

Sitting down on the swivel chair, you put your bag down, adjusted the tie around your neck, quickly checking any messages on your phone before getting ready for another night. It wasn't until just out of your peripheral vision, you saw something sitting neatly on the side of your desk.

Curious, you picked the item up; a small note and a present on the back. You opened the letter and was greeted by small and beautiful cursive writing;

Your radiant beauty compares to the jewels of the River Nile. Your presence is unlike any of the goddesses I worship; a lotus like yourself should be adored for all eyes. Including mine.

Your face was suddenly heating up by the sweet words written on the note, your heartbeat rising and getting faster as you opened the present with shaky hands; a beautiful small flower hair clip - a lotus to be correct.

“What you go there Y/N?” you didn't mean to scream so loud; a high pitch squeal that came out of your mouth that sounded just like a pterodactyl, you jumped back in your seat, staring up at the culprit who had scared you.

Theodore Roosevelt stood just at the front of your best, his horse not too far from him.

The former president looked to you curiously, then looking to the present in your hand. You quickly hid it in your lap. "A-A present, that’s all! Y-You scared me, Ted.” You placed your hand over your chest, steadying your heart. The 26th president laughed at your antics.

“Nonsense! It looks like you’ve got an admirer, my dear.” Teddy smiled, his moustache wrinkling thanks to his smile.

You hesitated, and soon the stuttering began. “I-I mean... ha-ha I doubt it! N-No one would like me in that w-way! Right?” By his face, he was being serious, and it made you more nervous.

“Perhaps you should go and try and find who really gave it to you.” He suggested, slapping your right side arm a bit too forcefully, and letting a laugh out. “I’ll be off, tracking is getting more difficult in this museum, and I need to see my own love. I’ll catch up with later my dear.” He got back on his horse and rode off through the museum, leaving you dazed and confused.

“R-Right...” You murmured more to yourself than to him, placing the beautiful clip in the side of your H/C hair, before standing to your height to get on with what you needed to do - the hopes of finding your so-called 'admirer'.

After an hour and a half of being teased more by the miniatures, getting almost caught on fire by the cavemen, you still had no idea who had given you the note and the gift. Your hopes were wearing thin, but as you came closer to the last exhibit that you hadn’t seen yet. You knew one thing.

You hadn’t seen Ahkmenrah all night, which was quite the surprise: since he mostly followed you around everywhere. Taking a deep breath, you stepped into his exhibit, taking out your torch for more guidance. One of the main reasons you didn’t like going into Ahkmenrah's tomb was because 1), it was too dark, and 2), his two 20-feet Jackals were always on guard, staring down at you as you walked through.

As usual, the two Jackals stared down at you as you walked slowly through, trying to keep little to no eye contact with them. As you walked closer to the open tomb, you heard instant mutterings and curses in a different language.

“Gods, what will she say -this? H-How do I tell her??” Then more mutterings and feet pacing as you grew closer inside.

“A-Ahk?” You called to him, spotting him pacing up and down near the pillars close to his open sarcophagus, his golden tablet sitting high and shimmering on the wall behind him. His eyes met yours instantly, brown eyes pooling like melted chocolate, seeing you stand there, his cheeks begun heating up. He smiled softly to you, a smile that made you smile back. Your torchlight caught the fabric of his robes, the gold glowing just like his tanned skin and beautiful and visible muscles.

“Y-Y/N. My dear.” For a 4,000-year-old mummy, he was standing in front of you in less than 2 strides., standing in his much taller height, he looked like a God.

He greeted you by taking your free hand that wasn't holding the torch, pressing a small kiss to the back of your hand, his lips grazing your knuckles.

Your own blush reddened, noticing that it took a moment for him to release your hand from his. “How are you? I-I haven’t seen you all night.” You tried to stay calm, watching his face as he smiled, shaking it softly.

“N-No, forgive me. I’ve been rather busy tonight.” He wasn’t meeting your eyes that much, which made you curious.

His eyes suddenly met yours, those brown eyes making your knees wobble more as you involuntarily gulped, your throat feeling slightly dry. His eyes trailed from your E/C eyes to your hair, suddenly his face changed, from happy, to nervous. “T-That’s a nice clip. Who gave that to you?”

Your hope faltered abruptly than expected; He didn’t know, of course, none of them knew. “O-Oh, well, that’s what I'm trying to find out a-actually.” He nodded his head in understanding, his smile wrinkling suddenly.

“You know, “He was suddenly being braver than usual, his hand grazing the side of your face, trailing locks of your H/C hair in his fingers, “the Lotus is a symbol from Egypt. It s-signifies beauty, a-adoration and grace.” He met your eyes again, and she saw him gulp.

Suddenly something inside of you clicked, like everything made sense all of a sudden.

“I must say, w-whoever gave that to you, must really a-adore you-.”

“W-Was it you Ahk?" You asked suddenly, catching him off guard as his hand left the side of your face, instantly missing the warmth he held. "Huh? W-What? I mean... it was meant as a gift, yes, I know... I mean, it was for you- yes- for you since you give it to someone you adore-"

"S-So... you adore me?" she asked again, making him a stuttering mess, "I mean... you're a very... beautiful young woman... yes, your beauty is something that would make Hathor jealous... what, no! I mean-"

He gulped once again, fumbling a lot with his hands. “I didn’t think I would’ve been confessing so soon-”

His ramblings were cut short as he heard soft and shy giggling, giggling that made Ahkmenrah's now beating heart jolt like it was connected to a thousand volts. He stopped, staring shyly back at you, your soft cheeks were red from embarrassment and adoration, E/C eyes darting from his face then to looking to the ground.

"I didn't mean to laugh. I-I just... never thought you would feel the same way I feel for you..." The young King was surprised by your words, a soft smile gracing his face as he took your chin into his fingers, lifting your head until your eyes met his.

With a soft look in his eyes and a warm smile and those shining white teeth, he chuckled quietly, making the night guard’s blush redden, your knees swaying under his touch. “Your beauty is what makes me feel more alive each night, my lotus.” And with those kind words, he leant forward, and shyly capturing your lips with his own, holding you in his strong and tanned arms.

You were shocked at first: the King of Egypt was kissing you! Something you never thought would ever come true in a million years - it was happening in this moment. Now that your love for him was the same for him, you sighed blissfully, wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him closer to you, whilst his arms wrapped securely around your waist.

Their first kiss was timid and bashful, but all love and adoration for each other were shown from the way they held each other. They slowly broke apart, catching their breaths, staring into each other’s eyes: happiness, passion and fondness were shown in the King’s eyes and the same for yours.

“You best be going back in soon, it’s nearly sunrise.” You began, your eyes wary and sad as you both came to realise how quickly the time had gone.

Ahkmenrah’s emotions copied yours; he didn’t want to go so soon, their love for each other had just begun and already he was having to be taken away from you- to be trapped in that confined sarcophagus.

He already felt lost, isolated and alone at the feeling of not having you around to brighten his days, but until the next night, he would be frozen in time, going back to a time when he was passed.

Gingerly, you took the King’s hands into your own, making him look back at you. You tried your best in trying to cheer him up, your smile did so. “I’ll make sure to go to your first thing tonight.” That made Ahkmenrah smile back at you, kissing you softly on the lips again and then your forehead.

“That would be lovely my Queen.” He said, taking the female over to the opened sarcophagus, you helped wrap him in his linens as he sat down into the case, “I’ll always be here Ahk.” You murmured, as he turned to you, grinning through his linens around his face.

“I know,” he begun, kissing your knuckles softly, “separation will not keep our love unbowed.” and with that, the two pulled up the heavy lid of the sarcophagus as Ahkmenrah laid down onto his back, and Y/N helped to push the lid to close.

“Goodnight my King.”

“Good morning my Queen.”

#ahkmenrah #ahkmenrah x reader #night at the museum #oneshot #ramimalek #this will suck #ohwell #nightatthemuseumfanfic #ahkmenrahfanfic

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