#I’ll forever think writing it backwards bit me in the ass but I’m landing somewhat where I wanted to be

[whoblewboobear]

Checking the fic doc and seeing it at almost 30k is making me feral, I’ve never cared this much about a ship in my life 🤧 Starbreaker you will always be famous to me

[twink-frank]

hi i’ve noticed the pencey prep gay conversation going on over on @awsugar and i have spent lots of time dissecting pencey prep lyrics and subjecting nathan @faggot-frank to my deranged ramblings so Here is my pencey prep super ultra mega gay lyrical analysis masterpost. it’s very long so its all under the cut but i will include a TL;DR for those who dont wanna read paragraphs of my deranged ramblings: Pencey prep uses lots of themes of: heartbreak, forbidden love, keeping love a secret, and toxic relationships. which none of that is gay on its own but combined with them almost never using gender indicators in their songs and the “nail in the coffin song” of 8th grade it ends up being a very Fruity Album.

I will be going through heart break in stereo in order and pointing out which lyrics and elements of certain songs jump out to me as Super Mega Gay and then summarizing my conclusions at the end <3

1 ) PS Don't Write

PS don't write is about leaving a toxic relationship, it has notes of moving on and leaving someone behind. "packed up all my shit / stole back all my tapes / left your spare key under the mat / this is not a joke / you'd better learn to take a hint / 'cause i'm not coming back / maybe you'll understand / when you're waking up alone / in a cold and empty bed." it has no gender indicators or pronouns which is the case in a lot of pencey prep songs, and something i'll bring up quite a bit. it also has general "coming of age" themes, something common in lots of pencey prep songs. which Yeah apply to straight people to but read in this context combined with future evidence can be pretty Fuckin Gay. "somewhere along the line / i found a hidden strength / i didn't know i had / standing on my own / cutting all the strings / that you used to control / surprise surprise / i am long gone / if you thought you could hold me down / by holding me up / you were wrong / you don't call the shots anymore." not to say only gay people can find inner strength and the room to love themselves but combined with other context it is a really poignant message about accepting yourself for who you are.

2) Yesterday

Yesterday is very repetitive and has a lot less to analyze, but the constant themes of wanting to "run away" strike me as very Fruity. once again, not saying gay people are the only people who can want to run away or escape from something But Combined With Other Context. and once again a song with no gender indicators, doesnt specify who the speaker is running away with or what they are running away from. just that they want to Leave. "i wanna run with you / i don't care what we do / gotta get out of this place / because it feels like yesterday." also saying "it feels like yesterday" could mean that the town feels backwards or old timey in its beliefs, implying homophobia. how the speaker wants to run away from an old fashioned town.

3) Don Quixote

i'm going to bring up the cultural significance of this title and literary reference first. Don Quixote is a classical novel by Cervantes which is about a crazy dude who thinks he's a knight, and goes on weird adventures with his best friend. It's typically used as a symbol of following your dreams and breaking free from what people expect of you. In the context of the song its used as a symbol of following your dreams with Someone. once again this someone is given no gender indicators. "you say it's not worth it / been burned too many times / if your spine's receding / you can borrow some of mine / don't go and quit right now / cause i'd follow you through hell." "you say so many things / and not a word of it was true / if you're still in that state of mind / i'd still vacation inside of you / cause i think you're worth every minute / and every dime that i spend / i'd spend all my time fighting dragons / just to keep you alive and talking." it's about wanting to spend time with someone, wanting to be with them no matter what. and its also about how this person feels unreachable, like being with them would be a fairytail but the speaker Still Reaches for it. "your imaginations running wild / round your deceptive heart / this is my crusade / and you're the unreachable star / but i'm reaching." talking about this person being unreachable and unattainble. which isnt gay By Itself  but again combined with the other context. FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

4) 10 Rings

another breakup song once again with no gender indicators, are you guys sensing a theme here? anyways this song is about someone cutting you off and then coming back suddenly wanting to talk again after breaking your heart. it has a sense of forbidden love, like this person Told the speaker they cant be together for Whatever Reason ;] and is now trying to come back and repair their mistake when the speaker is already hurt and reeling. "learn to live with decisions you make / i learned things from the break i can't forget / catch you doing drive-bys at 1 AM / it must kill you to know we can't be friends." "end of the summer you cut me off / i cut you out all the pictures i have." which this Isnt Gay By Itself. but bringing that phrase back with other context this is such a uniquely gay experience. being in love with someone and they cut you off Because theyre weirded out by that and then they try to come back, convince you it meant nothing.

5) The Secret Goldfish

my FAVORITE pencey song. this one has a lot. it's another breakup song about heartbreak and loss and im not even gonna dwell on the no gender indicators because yall see the theme now. it has themes of heartbreak and losing someone who is very close to you and having to let go of them and having to accept that this person cant be yours and you cant be with them. "land of the lost / i found myself in nothing / this time, promises broken find me / clutching to you for something / something that you're not / believing in what you say / it makes me lie awake at night / the truth, the truth is not what scares me / it's why you have to lie / all the time." here we see these themes of having to let someone go because they just Aren't The Same as you. "clutching to you for something / something that you're not." maybe like chasing after a straight boy and getting rejected? also the repetition of "heartbreak is forever" when you're young and gay losing that first person you felt some kind of love and attraction to can feel like the end of the world and can be a huge deal because of the lack of representation and guidance young gays get. and the themes of nothing lasting forever, the fact that gay people never get promised eternal love the same way straight people do.

6) 8th Grade

this song is the nail in penceys fucking coffin honestly. the rest of these songs have a lot of plausible deniability, just vague enough to maybe Not Be Gay. but framed in the context of 8th grade they all start to get a lil fruity. Im just gonna go through lyric by lyric for this one. "caught staring again / like a deer in the headlights / when you can't move fast enough / i take a hit for the team / pretty girl is blushing / i can't tell if she's disgusted / laughter starts to swell / someone gets the joke." this kid was staring at some cute boy ass and got caught and everyone is laughing at him for being gay. the "pretty girl" here is what most people think he's staring at but with the rest of the song it's obvious she's not the one he's looking at. "bells ring, i make my escape / helps a little, but doesn't save / beat downs a common thing / with us every day / maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools / so maybe i like the abuse / or maybe i just like you." literally This is the nail in penceys fucking coffin. "maybe i like the abuse or maybe i just like you." this kid purposefully takes beatings from his bully who is Obviously male if you take into context the next verse. because he Likes Him. "maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools" literally willingly taking beatings from his bully bc he has a crush. "another confrontation / you've got something to prove / your girl can't tell how tough you are / when you beat me up in the boys room." this just confirms that the subject of the song is a boy, and a tough macho boy with something to prove. maybe also hiding his own internalized homophobia through bullying? "well i made a big mistake / but i can't help who i like / this may not cost my life / but i am branded forever lame." LITERALLY ITS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. "can't help who i like" "branded forever lame" do i even need to fucking explain this oh my god. he got outed as gay, he Can't Help Who He Likes and is now branded forever as "the gay kid." the rest of the song is general "im gonna get back at my bully" stuff but literally THIS. THIS is the song that brands all penceys other very vague songs as 100% verified super mega ultra gay.

7) 19

this song has a lot less, and is more about internal struggle than anything. but it is the only song with a "she" pronoun in it. but there is one thing i wanna mention. "I scream out loud / but no one hears a sound / i take my life with lack of sleep / i believe the things i feel / the things i see are fooling only me." this song is about not believing what the world shows you, believing what you think is true in your heart and what You feel. not what anyone else tells you. which is a gay experience. believing in yourself and your heart and your feelings, believing theyre right and theyre true and valid. Also this song has a significance in coming right after 8th grade on the album, going from being 13 to 19, from being unsure in your feelings and angry about the people who dont like you to lost and hopeless but somewhat grounded in yourself.

8) Trying To Escape The Inevitable

this song is about an abusive and toxic relationship, knowing you Need to escape it but being so infatuated with the person you literally cant. “i have this reoccurring dream / you make it hard for me to breathe / i gave you everything i could / i gave up everything i owned / and when you smile it’s not for me / you offer little sympathy / your grasp so far exceeds your reach / i wake up, this is not a dream.” “i have this reoccuring dream / where you admit that you’re not happy / i know that you will never leave / you’re here just to torment me.” which like again this isnt an exclusively gay experience but it is very interesting when framed that way. in that gay people are way more likely to throw themselves into abusive and toxic relationships because they dont feel like they can get anybody else. the repetition of “i know i should run” makes it seem like the speaker Knows he should get out but he just Cant because what if he never finds love again? and the little reprise in the middle “i have a new dream / and everything is perfect / the sky is pink, yellow, green, blue, and orange / and all the past has been forgotten / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and i fell into your trap.” implying that even if he escapes, even in his dreams he still falls for this person because he feels like he cant have anything else.

9) Lloyd Dobbler

another love song about wanting to have someone but not being able to because of Unspecified Forbidden Reasons. “why are you so far away / even when you’re standing next to me? / your eyes give you away / telling secrets your mouht don’t feel like talking.” falling in love with someone, maybe sensing that they like you too. that they Are Like You and that they have a Secret they dont want to vocalize. do i even need to explain it at this point? and in the chorus “That I’ll be your lloyd dobbler / with a boom box out in the street / and i’ll be there if you need someone / even if he isn’t me.” saying you’ll be there for someone even if that person isn’t you, also the use of Pronouns which is big for pencey prep. which yes the use of “even if he isnt me” could imply a straight girl ooorrr....Fruit Behavior. also this line “There’s a norman rockewll painting / of two kids sitting on a bench / it reminds me of all the stupid things / i’d like for us to share, but i dont care.” normal rockwell is a painter that paints traditionally “american” scenes. like the american ideal, that maybe he wants with this person. but he knows he cant have, but its stupid and domestic and he wants it but he Cant Have It because of FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

10) Florida Plates

another of my favorite pencey songs, and this one brings back those tragic “love but we cant have it” themes, except with a more somber tone. instead of being angry or resentful or spiteful in the face of adversity. its an Acceptance, of what they had and how good it was and how it just Cant Last. “kiss a mouth to open eyes / stall one last moment before goodbye / drive in different cars in different directions / never write all the letters full of good words, better intentions / it’s for the best although we don’t know it / paper words will cheapen the moments we shared / it’s better if i say nothing at all.” it’s about knowing you have to leave someone, even if having them in the moment is great they Can’t Stay and you can’t even talk or write about the moments you had. which do i even need to explain it at this point? forbidden love, not being able to have each other, not even being able to Talk about it. its a secret, and painful one but its beautiful while you have it. Conclusion alright!!! thank you so so much if you read all the way through that i Know it was long i Know it was a lot of repetition but i wanted to make my point. pencey prep has very big gay themes in their music. with forbidden love, letting go, heartbreak, keeping secrets, toxic realtionships. which none of it is gay on its own but in the context of: almost none of the songs having clear gender indicators and always speaking really vaguely about the subject and Eight Grade the “nail in the coffin song” you can see my point thank you and goodnight.

[just-another-winchester]

The Curse Of The Verse

Part 1 - Song - Defying Gravity - Sung by Sam and reader.

Pairing: Dean isn’t really in this and neither is the relationship mentioned much, but it’s technically Dean x reader.

Warnings: Broadway music (thats a warning for some people)

Summary: When you and the brothers are out on a hunt the witch you’re dealing with escaped, but not before uttering a quick and somewhat humorous curse on the three of you.

A/N: I spent an entire evening trying to figure out how to write this, it was driving me insane, but I finally came up with this. I really hope ya’ll love it. Love you guys. :)

This is Unbetad. All mistakes are my own.

FEEDBACK IS MY SUSTENANCE!!!

After quite a hunt Dean stormed into the bunker angrily, not having spoken to you the entire ride home.

You were in trouble, and you knew it, but there was really nothing else that you could have done. You wouldn’t let Dean get hurt.

The hunt you’d been on dealt with a powerful witch who had a bad sense of humor. At first you all thought you were dealing with the trickster, but you figured out quickly it was a witch.

Once you knew what you were dealing with you grabbed your spellbook. Magic was something you’d somewhat picked up on, and although Dean hated it, you had been somewhat practicing. Your excuse was as simple as the fact that there were many spells that could really help the three of you, you weren’t a witch, you just knew a bit of magic.

It didn’t take too long to figure out who the witch was, and how to take her down. The psycho was a few tools short of a toolbox. Which really meant she only had a screwdriver in her toolbox, and that wasn’t good.

You’d taken it upon yourself to take her down, she had already landed one on Dean by having a stupidly attractive stripper practically drown him in beer.. Literally, a huge tub of beer, and she just shoved him in it, which was both ironic and horrible at the same time.

You’d warned Dean that drinking too much alcohol could bring him to an early grave, but that situation was just a tad ridiculous.

Of course in the battle you’d gotten hurt, the witch was probably seconds away from killing you before Dean and Sam came in, scaring the witch off and saving your ass, but not before uttering a few words that sounded like gibberish.

Dean had been furious with you, packing up and climbing into the Impala without a single word, you and Sam both knowing that was your cue to grab your things and get in.

The drive back to the bunker was painfully silent, you’d tried talking to Dean, but he’d turned the music on and up. There was nothing you could do until he calmed down.

When you got home Dean simply stormed inside and headed straight for his room, leaving you and Sam with each other. You knew you had to go back out to find the witch, she was twisted, and even mildly amusing in a way, but she killed people, and you wouldn’t stand by.

“Sam, I’ve gotta go.” You said to him, trying hard to reason with the man. Sam turned to you,

“No, you don’t. You nearly got yourself killed, wait a couple days at least.” He insisted,

“Do you know how many people she can kill in a couple days? The more time I waste the more chance she has to hurt people. I won’t let that happen.” You said sternly, “Look, I know that you guys don’t like how I went about things, but Dean nearly drowned and you were beat up. She hadn’t gotten me yet, and I’m still fine.”

“Y/N, why did you have do that? You deliberately put yourself in danger, why couldn’t you have just stayed with us instead of taking things into your own hands!?” Sam said to you, clearly as frustrated as Dean.

“I hope you’re happy.” Sam said, but no… it came out, as a song? He sang it…

You turned back to him, confusion expressed on your features.

“I hope you’re happy now, I hope you’re happy how you hurt your cause forever, I hope you think you’re clever.”

Sam’s face was just as confused as yours, you were going to say “What the fuck?” But instead… something else came out.

“I hope you’re happy, I hope you’re happy too. I hope you’re happy how you would grovel in submission, to feed your own ambition.”

You both looked at each other with equal horror and confusion on your faces as you sang together,

“Although I can’t imagine how, I hope you’re happy, right, now.”

“Sam,” You said, finally being able to speak, “What the hell?”

“I think this is -”

“Defying Gravity.” You finished for him, looking at him, “Shit… why -”

“Are we singing?”

You nodded, swallowing, “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Sam went off on something completely different, obviously not on purpose as he looked frustrated as he spoke,

“Y/N, just apologize.” He insisted,

“You can still be with my brother,” Sam sang, you groaned “What you’ve searched and waited for, you can have all you ever wanted.”

“I know,” You said, “But, what if… but I can’t want it anymore.” You said, your voice set. What the hell were you saying?

“Something has changed within me, something is not the same.” You sang to Sam, turning away from him and walked to the table, looking at the papers.

“I’m through with playing by, the rules of someone else’s game.” Your voice rang throughout the bunker as you turned back to Sam, looking him in the eyes.

“Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep. It’s time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap!”

With the last part of the line you turned and jumped onto the chair closest to you.

“It’s time to try defying gravity, I think I’ll try defying gravity! And you can’t pull me down!” You hopped from chair to chair as you sang, still pretty damn confused, but you obviously couldn’t help it, and you did sort of love Wicked.

You fell over, tripping on the arm of the last chair and hitting the ground with a thud

“Can’t I make you understand? You’re having delusions of grandeur!” Sam sang at you as he walked to help you up. You accepted his hand as he lifted you to your feet.

You pushed Sam off of you,

“I’m through accepting limits, cause someone says they’re so. Some things I cannot change, but till I try I’ll never know,” You sang to him, hopping up onto the table, your boots thudding on the wood as you turned to look down at him.

“Too long I’ve been afraid of losing love I guess I’ve lost, and if that’s love it comes at much too high a cost!” You fisted your hands and lifted them in the air, you spun around as you ran back into the chorus.

“I’d sooner buy defying gravity, kiss me goodbye I’m defying gravity! And you can’t pull me down!” You pointed at Sam, walking to the edge of the table and crouching down, looking at Sam as you took his hand.

“Sam, come with me. We can take care of this, together.” You insisted,

“Unlimited, together we’re unlimited. Together we’ll be the greatest team there’s ever been.” You sang to him, a small and hopeful smile growing on your lips.

“Dreams, the way we planned ‘em, if we work in tandem,” Sam sang to you, earning a grin from you.

“There’s no fight we cannot win, just you and I, defying gravity, with you and I, defying gravity!” You and Sam sang to one another, Sam looked sad, which made you doubtful.

“They’ll never bring us down.” You sang to him, “Please… are you coming?”

“I hope you’re happy,” Sam sang, “Now that you’re choosing this,”

“You too,” I said before singing, “I hope it brings you bliss.”

“I really hope you get it, and don’t live to regret it,” You and Sam sang to each other, sadness in your eyes. You weren’t sure if you were going to see Sam again, and with the way this seemed to be working out… if you broke out in song in the middle of battle, you would definitely die.

“I hope you’re happy in the end! I hope you’re happy,” You sang to one another, “My, friend…”

You let go of Sam’s hands, standing again as you looked down at him, lifting your fists to your chest, standing straight, your legs spread to help you balance yourself as you began to sing again.

“So if you dare to find me! Look to the western sky!” You lifted your hand, waving it to the west of you,  “As someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly! And if I’m flying solo, at least I’m flying free!! To those who’d try to ground me, take a message back from me!”

You spun and kicked the papers off the table, the lamp near them following.

“Tell them how I am defying gravity! I’m flying high! Defying gravity! And soon I’ll match them in renown!”

You released your fists, relaxing a bit as you looked down at Sam

“And nobody, in all the world, no Winchester that is or was, is ever gonna bring, me down!!!”

You curled your hands into fists again, leaning backwards as your voice rang throughout the bunker, presenting your voice,

“I hope you’re happy!” Sam sang to you,

“Bring, me down!” Your voice was strong as you finished the song, once you stopped you took a moment to breathe, looking down at Sam with a worried look on your face.

“Okay, so uh… you go tell Dean you’re cursed to sing broadway songs. I’m uh.. Apparently going west.” You said, hopping off the table and grabbing your bag.

“Y/N,” Sam called after you.

“What?” You asked, not stopping.

“Be careful.” he requested.

MY TAG LIST IS WIDE OPEN!

Dream Team

@spn67-sister @queen-of-deans-booty @ria132love @winchestergeekfreak @maui137 @katymacsupernatural @jayneysimp @emoryhemsworth @just-another-busy-fangirl @bunniesowlsandwhales @jensensjaredsandmishaslover @mogaruke

Dean Team

@akshi8278 @polina-93 @aubreystilinski @-lovepeacenhope-