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rosf1eld · 2 months ago

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Jealously’s Dagger

Joshua Rosfield x reader

a/n: chat forgive me, this one took so long. I was actually forcing myself to finish this. ANYWAY I hope you enjoy, and as always I did NOT proofread this. Also I apologize if some parts seemed rushed, I was getting tired of writing this. Apologies for ending this so abruptly I could not handle writing it anymore. I MAY make a part two, only if anyone wants. I fear this isn’t my best work…

———

“Come on, atleast let me try it out eh?”

Gav’s voice pestered you, asking the same questions over and over again.

A scoff left your mouth, “Alright Alright! I get it…

This is so stupid.

do as you please Gav.”

I mean…there was no harm in it…right?

As much as you were sure Joshua held no romantic feelings for you, you were quite curious how he would react. Gav gave a silent cheer, as if applauding himself to finally winning this back and forth.

“right then, i’ll get on it. I’m telling you, this will work.”

Gav gave a wink before he hurried off, quite excited…too excited.

—

The scout made his way to the shelfs, assuming that was where Joshua would be. The phoenix seemed to spend most of his time there, other than the infirmary. Right he was, he immediately spotted Joshua with his head in a book.

With confident yet mischievous, strides he got in front of Joshua.

“eh em…

Gav cleared his throat, getting the attention of the focused man.

…Just the man I was looking for!”

Gav smiled wide, earning him a soft yet curious smile from the younger rosfield ahead of him.

“May I ask why?”

Joshua’s voice as polite as ever. The soft spoken man slowly shut the book, setting it off to the side. His blue eyes gaining full attention of the green ones ahead of him. This question made Gav smile even wider, gosh was he excited.

“Well you see, I was just wondering how do you go about confessing to someone?”

Joshua was quite surprised by this, not expecting anyone to come to him for this. He was always used to the more intellectual, history questions, not ones of feelings.

“Confessing? hm..I suppose it is best to just tell them your feelings, though it is easier said than done…”

Joshua looked away just slightly as he spoke his last statement. Gav, who was already intensely watching every reaction, picked up on this immediately.

“Easier said than done eh? I feel that brother.”

the blonde let out a chuckle, almost forgetting his actual goal.

“right then, the lady I intend on confessing to is none other than lady ____…so I reckon it’d be a bit more difficult.”

The green eyed man spoke, as he mentioned your name he eyed Joshua for any subtle reaction, and oh did he get it.

Joshua suddenly, yet subtlety tensed up.

“Lady ____…you say?”

Joshua looked away, but just for a moment. He asked as though he didn’t hear Gav correctly.

“That’s right…now how do you suggest I go about that?”

The kind hearted man held his polite smile, but it was threatening to falter.

“Apologies, but I don’t think i’m the right person to be asking…”

He was avoiding the question, he seemed as if he wanted to get out of there. The phoenix stood up, ready to leave.

“leaving so soon?”

The braided man was surprised by Joshua’s sudden hurry, though was he getting giddy about it. It was his goal after all.

“I should return to the infirmary, Tarja will scold me if I do not take my medicine.”

With a nod of the phoenix’s head he had made a swift turn, heading out the shelves. Gav had a smirk, yet he couldn’t help feel a tang but bad for deceiving the warm hearted man.

——

“Goodnight Clive !”

A farewell left your lips as you stood on the main deck of the hideaway. You, Clive, Jill, and of course Torgal had gone on a mission, clearing out akashic near Martha’s Rest as a request of Martha. This of course had left you exhausted, day after day killing more and more akashic, it was never ending and oh so tiring.

You had just bid farewell to Clive, leaving you alone on the main deck. Some lingered around in the ale hall, but most had gone to rest.

I wonder how Joshua’s been…

A soft sigh escaped your lips, throughout every moment he was always the one on your mind.

Maybe I should visit him? No it’s far too late…he’s probably resting.

You thought, though that didn’t rid of the want to see him.

Just for a mere moment…

The thought plagued your mind. Since you have to pass the infirmary to get to your own chambers, what would be the harm in popping in?

With that you pushed off the railing of the main deck, turning and moving at a steady yet faster pace down the stairs. Returning to your usual speed as you made your way to the other set of stairs. Once up you passed the hunt board, giving a slight pat to the moogle. Finally you got up the third staircase, which contained the infirmary’s door.

A quiet creak could be heard as you slowly opened the door. Since it was late Tarja had gone to her own chambers, leaving just Rodique to check on the patients before heading off.

You walked in, quietly closing the door behind you. You gave a nod to Rodique, not speaking so you didn’t disturb patients. Which there weren’t many patients, Joshua behind the curtain and two bearers on the opposite side. The curse seemed to be spreading…

Quiet footsteps made their way to the other side of the infirmary, where Joshua sat at the edge of his bed.

“Can’t sleep?”

Your soft voice broke through the silence, yet it remained quiet. The rosfield turned his head, his expression softening at the sight of you.

“Unfortunately…”

The man sighed before starting up again, “What do I owe the honor?”

A soft smile appeared at his words, if only he knew the effect even the smallest of things had on you.

“Just paying a visit, it can’t be easy being in the infirmary most of the time. Have they not allowed you move to chambers of your own?”

You moved slightly closer, so you were standing in front of him.

“I’m afraid not, at least not on my own. I need to be…supervised, like a child.”

Joshua muttered the last bit, but you heard it. It made your heart ache just a tiny bit, you knew he probably felt weak right now. Maybe you could attempt to make this better? A thought popped in your head, you tried to shake it away, but there was no harm in…suggesting the idea?

“Joshua…If you do not mind the…suggestion. Would it be easier…if maybe..”

You hesitated, not knowing if you were allowed to offer such a thing.

“hm..?”

Joshua eyes locked with yours, his full attention in you awaiting your words.

“…a mere suggestion, if you would want to stay in my chambers? just until you can have your own of course, you can totally refuse! it’s just an offer, forgive me if-“

Your nervous rambling made Joshua smile as he watched you.

“My lady, I understand. Though I would not want to be a bother…You have already so much to deal with, I wouldn’t want to pile on that.”

You sighed, if only he knew…but alas.

“Joshua, you are anything, but a bother…”

“I suppose if I would be no intrusion…or bother, I would not refuse.”

His mind went to Gav, he had stated his feelings for the lady and here he was intending to share chambers with her. Would that stop him? Nope.

Your face brightened. Wouldn’t refuse? He would share chambers with you after all !! Wait. He would share chambers with you. Suddenly you began to get a bit nervous, but of course you weren’t gonna back down.

“I was hoping for that answer, I’ll let Rodique know. If you need help gathering any belongings let me know.”

You walked over to Rodique who had just finished checking over the bearers.

“Rodique, a word?”

His eyes turned to you, a soft smile formed on his lips as he greeted you.

“Lady ____, Can I help you?”

“Indeed. I was hoping to move Joshua to my chambers, he seems to be having a hard time being here all the time. It’d be good for him.”

You quietly explained, which the healer had a nervous look.

“Well…Tarja trusts you and so do I, just keep watch of him will you?”

He spoke as he went over to Tarja’s desk, handing you a pouch, containing bottles of liquid and mixed herbs.

“His medicine, the potions are for the coughing, soothing his throat and easing the blood loss. The herbs to ease his pain and regain his strength.”

You listened carefully, making sure to take mental notes as you grabbed the pouch.

“Thank you Rodique, leave him in my hands.”

You smiled and nodded as a farewell. When you turned Joshua was up and ready, clearly he seemed to want out of the infirmary.

——

A click was the only heard as the door of your chambers shut. Joshua had sat on the bed, clearly tired. A comfortable silence fell upon the two, he seemed more relaxed in a different setting.

“Did you want any water…or anything?”

You broke the silence, hoping to make him as comfortable as possible.

“Thank you, I’m alright.”

He smiled at you then placed a hand onto his chest.

“Are you well?”

“Just…hot, It feels suffocating having this sealed into me…”

His voice was so quiet, he was hesitant to tell you this, but comfortable enough to do so. You went over to the windows, opening them to bring cool breezes in. When you turned around Joshua had his scarf off, his chest glowing.

“Maybe it would be best to leave it uncovered?”

You suggested, though you did just want to see him shirtless.

“Hm…I suppose you’re correct…”

With that he had slowly pulled off his shirt, the last thing you’d expected him to actually do. You turned your head to give him the privacy, even though you’d be sleeping in the same bed.

Joshua blew out the candle next to him, the room illuminated only with moonlight.

“Any discomfort?”

“A lingering one…it is not a bother.”

A usual discomfort lingered always, that physically pained you. You only wanted the best for him, for him to have nothing but goodness. Seeing him like this was difficult.

He laid his head on his pillow fully, pulling the blanket over him.

——

After a bit of time you had gotten dressed in sleep wear, your usual tank top and shorts. You assumed he’d fallen asleep as you got into bed.

Your eyes fell upon him. His chest rising up slowly, and down. His peaceful expression as he dreamed away. Your mind raced with thoughts of only him, what was he dreaming of, was he in pain, what did he think of you?

A sigh escaped you, shutting your eyes you finally attempted to sleep. It was hard knowing the man of your dreams slept right next to you, your husband in your mind, but a friend in reality.

——

As you awoke in the morning Joshua laid facing you, he was still asleep soundly. You watching him, like he was a painting. Something so elegant, you couldn’t believe he was real and in YOUR bed.

And this is how it was, for days. He spent time in your room almost all the time, he would go by the shelves from time to time.

As you hoped this would give you opportunities to speak to him more you couldn’t help but notice he’d been distant. He would only really speak to you when you gave him his medicine, or asked about his symptoms.

This was…slowly driving you insane. You figured you’d had done something wrong, but he wasn’t being rude. He was so kind, so thankful all the time. Just the lack of speaking bothered you.

As Joshua was in the shelves you leaned against the railing of the main hall, glancing out to the ocean.

“Something on your mind?”

The cheerful Gav walked next to you, standing beside.

“It’s Joshua, he’s been so…distant?”

You sighed, “Maybe i’m just being overdramatic. He’s probably just tired.”

An awkward, nervous chuckle escaped the Figure standing beside you.

“…Right, lady ____…”

“Gav. What did you do?”

You asked suddenly tense, standing up straight.

“Look, I didn’t think he’d be this bothered. Remember when I tried out that thing, to see if he’d get jealous? well…I wanted to take it a step further so when he was in the shelves, I found him again…again maybeeee I told him I would be confessing to you.”

Your eyes widened slightly, was Joshua…jealous?? No…that’s not like him, but if it was…mayhaps you have a chance!

“You know, I would be mad, but actually this is…I have to go, thanks Gav!”

You patted his shoulder before hurrying away as he tried to speak, though he failed unable to get his words out since you’d left so fast.

You made your way to the shelves searching for him, no sign of him. He was probably in your chambers then, he usually was. You hurried along to your chambers, when you walked in you saw him leaning against the open window.

“Joshua, can we talk?”

You asked as you shut the door behind you, going towards the window where he stood.

“Yes, my lady?”

Oh his words could make you melt, his voice…his everything.

“It’s about Gav-“

“Did you say yes?”

He had cut you off, which had surprised you.

“Say yes? What? Oh no Joshua, that whole thing…was a…ploy, Gav is just a friend, like a brother honestly. He has no feelings for me nor do I for him, he was only-“

“You don’t love him?”

You could see the relief in his face though he tried to hide it. It warmed your heart, if you could you’d just shower him with kisses.

“No no, It was this stupid thing, he wanted to see if you’d get jealous, I know it’s dumb…I don’t know why I let him…”

You say, awkwardly looking down. A chuckle escaped Joshua, making you look up at him.

“A ruse to see if i’d get jealous? Well i’m relieved to know it was just a ruse I don’t think I could bear if true.”

He spoke with a smile on his lips, his eyes focused on the sight outside. The last part he had mumbled under his breath, intending for you not to make out. Your eyes flickered from his lips to eyes, the warmth in your heart only growing as your heard the words he hoped you didn’t.

“Joshua…”

You breathed his name before, without thinking, cupping his face and locking you lips with his. A soft kiss, full of love. Your lips on his soft one’s, forever savoring the taste. You had figured he’d pull away by now, but his lips slowly moved against yours.

As the kiss came to an end you pulled away slowly, looking up at him with wet lips looking at his glistening ones.

“I’m sorry-“

Before the apology could be fully delivered he crashed his lips back onto yours. His hand went to your hip, the other to your face. Your mind was blank, the only thing you could possibly focus on was the sweet, tender, loving kiss and oh you basked in it. You wanted this to never end.

Your tongue grazed the opening of his mouth, but before you could seek entry he pulled away.

“I have yearned for your kiss since the moment I returned to you. Would that I had the courage to just tell you before, but it does not matter now. I need you my lady, I’ve always longed for you…”

Your knees felt weak. If only he knew how you truly felt about him, but it was impossible to get into words. As you opened your mouth to respond, his lips met with yours again.

Oh did he seem hungry for you…

——

#final fantasy xvi #i love joshua rosfield #joshua rosfield x reader #ffxvi #save me joshua rosfield #this was rushed #i’m finally free

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