#I’M A SURVIVOR!

[sadesluvr]

A SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TWO JOBS

WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS

WITH GENTLE HANDS AND A HEART OF A FIGHTER

[69shadesofgray]

if i don’t text you after 7pm it’s because me and my depression are already in bed 😴

[ifwebefriends]

[freetreasures]

we all love the shooting arc but i’m genuinely never getting over “are you hurt?”… you mean to tell me eddie diaz was shot, bleeding out, barely conscious, and he saw some blood on buck and only cared if buck’s okay? and don’t even get me started on buck and the fact that he actually had to look down on himself to see if he’s hurt because he didn’t even think about himself for a second. he only cared about one thing and it was almost taken from him on the street in broad daylight

[void-dude]

i've been so. SOOOO obsessed with shapes and pines au recently. the moment i saw it. i KNEW i needed more. it's like healing something inside of me. something i didn't know needed healing. it fixed me. it mended my broken toxic abusive exes billford soul. thank you.

I’m glad I could share the healing I had while coming up with this broken story. I also needed healing from the abusive exes so I made their family members have a semi working but complicated queer situationship

[stil-lindigo]

you wonder why I'm bitter?

[sableeira]

when you have committed literal crimes but the crimes of your past that haunt you the most are the gay thoughts for your partner aka the person you hate most in this world

continuation to joke tags on this post. 15 Dazai was ready to haunt his 22 y/o self with some past mistakes…. instead Dazai is already suffering

[hell0jon]

can’t wait (i can) for alice to find colin’s body suspended in the middle of a dark room in wires likes he’s just been crucified, in a way

[fumifooms]

Rin, smiling, and nagging

Rinsha Fana’s character is summarized in a couple facts thrown here and there. Because she worries for him, she follows Kabru to help his cause and protect him, and to nag him. She’s a grumpy angry tsundere, but it seems not only rooted in her attitude but on a deep rooted physical level, to the point where any intense emotion she feels will make her frown and scowl even if it’s genuine joy. Her childhood was half spent ostracized in the tallman community her family lived in and half with the elves, where she’s said to have been treated like an animal.

We don’t know how she was raised exactly or who it even was, but knowing she was "treated like an animal" by the elves taking care of her…

Elves are shown to have a highly hierarchical society, not only with their concern with status such as nobility and the purity of bloodlines but also reflected by its social culture imo. They have high society and etiquette, upmost devotion to the queen, very role-oriented, like cogs in a machine, and as such, it’s a bit skewed since most of what we see of the elves is in a military context with military people but they seem to value having emotions under lock and key to be efficient and not bring dishonor, Flamela is an interesting character on this. Don’t be a bother and do your job until you’re called on, fulfill your role, everything else is extra at best inconvenient at worst.

Personally I do think the canaries kept Rin, it’d make sense that whichever canaries got stuck with the job at the headquarters would be barebones with her and treat her like an ‘impounded article’, they couldn’t find another place for her and this way they can get her report on the events whenever she can speak again in however many years, and this way it makes sense that she could keep in touch with Kabru too. They’re used to prisoners, not kids. Being raised in a military context rather than at some orphanage would shape her further.

All of this to say…

She’d already seen the world’s harshness to those who don’t conform in her hometown, but with the elves? Her disdain for those who had formal education at a magic school?

Wouldn’t she become very concerned with proving she is not an animal, proving that she’s smart and skilled in her own right on her own merit, even without schooling. And to do this she nitpicks and nitpicks, because even being pristine isn’t enough to be respected, but at least it’s not giving others reasons to disrespect and dehumanize her. Learning to school her emotions, to scowl as a defense mechanism because anything else makes her vulnerable, because they don’t care about her as a person with feelings, because showing other expressions was dangerous or punished in some way: because it was fit in or don’t fit in and that’s the difference between having your house burnt down and being tolerated, between getting her food or having her questions answered and being yelled at to shut up… Because all her life she’s been surviving in hostile social environments and at the mercy of others, but unlike Kabru she doesn’t become a people pleaser but becomes very self-reliant and wary of socializing.

So she nitpicks and nitpicks and nags, because she’s worried. Because flaws are dangerous. So she has a hard time smiling and laughing, because it’s dangerous to allow yourself to feel safe in being authentic.

It would be nice…

Is my red, red enough? I'm waiting for your teeth at my throat. It’s only good manners. -Stephanie Valente 

[xxivletxx]

rain world (f)art dump

SAINT SPOILERS BELOW CUT:

[suja-janee]

Bireena request: 2/5 (request from anonymous)

Uhh slight boobie warning under the cut vvv

The titan versions get along a little TOO well hehehehehehehhehehe

[journal-from-the-heart]

i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal

[wordsofwisdomandsoul]

[druidgroves]

this house is haunted with dead men i can’t lose / and a sneaky old feeling gives me those haunted house blues

(click for hq)

[calkestis]

good maker give me strength because i am not ready and i will never be ready for this

[smeraldo-heart]

Do you guys ever think about how pretty Merrin must have thought Cal was after they met?

How she grew up entirely on her home planet this whole time, only ever seeing other Zabraks with their unusual skin colours and horns and markings, until he showed up? How she’d only ever seen another human in the form of Taron Malicos, and he didn’t look anywhere near as strange and beautiful to her as Cal?

How she’d never seen red hair before then, but she now knows the Dathomirian sunset to be the very same colour she sees from the corner of her eye as her best friend curls up in laughter? How she’d never seen much in the way of green that wasn’t nightsister magick before taking the leap of faith and leaving her home, but now all she has to do to remind herself of the forested planets they’d visited together and her sisters’ power is look into Cal’s eyes? How she’d seen the stars every night and dreamed of exploring them one day as she slept growing up, watching them dazzle above Dathomir, but now she can see them day to day no matter the weather on her lover’s face?

And what about Cal?

Cal who grew up for five years on a dilapidated planet covered in dull grey, only for the colour to completely reinvent itself into the safety and soft sensation of Merrin’s grey locks under his fingers? Cal who’d likely gazed at the stars all those miserable years on Bracca, hoping someone would appear from them to rescue him, only for someone with skin the same shade of blinding white as those stars to extend her hand towards him countless times? Cal who’d loved his brown Jedi robes, just like so many of the other Jedi he’d grown up around, only to see that same nostalgic shade reflected back to him in Merrin’s eyes like his family had never truly left?

Do you ever think about how he must have looked at Merrin for the first time and seen the moon and stars he’d always wanted to explore before reflected back to him?

I don’t know. I always think about it.