#I&039;m Not Supposed to Be Here Today
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raiyine · 2 years ago
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CHARACTER INTERVIEW: Damien (Man, Fuck This House by Brian Asman)
CHARACTER INTERVIEW: Damien (Man, Fuck This House by Brian Asman)
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makeste · 6 years ago
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BnHA Chapter 039: Deku VS Todoroki 2 - Flashback Boogaloo
Previously on BnHA: Todoroki and Izuku began their one on one! Todoroki blasted ice attacks at Deku and Deku broke up each one with mini One for All finger smashes. Todoroki’s right side slowly froze up, but meanwhile Deku went through all five fingers on his right hand and then proceeded to blow up his entire fucking left arm. You’d think this would have been the end of it, but no, this motherfucker then went and busted out another smash through his already-mangled right hand. Rather than going into shock at this point like a normal person, Deku fucking screamed at Todoroki to use his full power, because apparently he wants to die in the most spectacular way possible. I don’t even know.
Today on BnHA: Everyone just sits back and watches while Deku destroys his own body in his crazed attempts to get Shouto to use his left side. It’s not fun. Then Shouto starts having flashbacks to his horrifying past. This is even less fun. Basically no one is having a good time here. But eventually something in Shouto clicks when Deku yells at him that his power is his own. And then Shouto finally fires up his left side. So that part at least is fun, but the rest of it has me needing some damn blood pressure medication you guys.
(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 91 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)
oh my god literally the first panel is a baby Shouto POV of his mom
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I don’t know if I’m ready for this chapter guys
“when did I forget what came after that?” oh my god. is it so bad his mind blocked the memory for self-preservation reasons or something
Todoroki is really mad that Deku would suggest something so absurd as him using his full power. I assume Deku is going to tell him something similar to the “you’re not your dad” thing that he already said to Endeavor earlier
seriously Shouto, you can use your full power and still piss your dad off
now he’s really mad and he’s charging right at Deku
that’s maybe not the best plan
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meanwhile Bakugou is watching intently and it’s so cute I have to post the panel
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you go ahead and take your notes kiddo. you’re gonna need ‘em if you end up having to battle him yourself
now that they’re up close Deku is using the microwave trick again!
BUT HE’S STILL USING HIS RIGHT ARM. WHAT GOOD IS THE MICROWAVE TRICK IF THE ARM’S ALREADY FUCKED UP
PLEASE DON’T PUNCH HIM WITH A CLOSED FIST WITH YOUR BROKEN HAND, I MAY ACTUALLY FAINT OH MY GOD
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I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW DEKU!!!!!!
has Horikoshi ever broken any of his bones?!! COME BACK AND WRITE THIS SCENE AGAIN AFTER YOU’VE BROKEN A BONE, ASSHOLE. COME BACK AND TELL ME THAT HE CAN FUCKING DO THAT AND NOT FALL DOWN SOBBING AFTERWARDS
the only possible explanation I can come up with is that he’s somehow completely hopped up on the adrenaline of it all and isn’t actually feeling the full pain just yet
but he SHOULD be, because that’s the body’s way of telling him, “DON’T FUCKING PUNCH ANYONE WITH THIS HAND YOU COLOSSALLY STUPID FUCK!!!”
anyway, Todoroki is FLYING ACROSS THE RING, but DEKU SHOULD BE FUCKING DEAD AND NOW I’M JUST MAD, DAMN IT
whoever wins this match has to fight either Shiozaki or Iida next, depending on who wins their match (probably Iida). and then after that, either Bakugou or Tokoyami (probably Bakugou). but I don’t know if either of these guys will actually be up for that at this rate
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I can’t believe it, but Todoroki actually doesn’t look too good. just use your stupid left side already, Shouto
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JESUS CHRIST CAN WE GET AN ACTUAL RESPONSIBLE ADULT OUT HERE??? ANYONE?? AIZAWA????
he’s agreeing with my hypothesis that Deku is so hopped up on adrenaline that he’s not feeling the full pain of what he’s doing to his body. and he’s already done so much damage that it can’t all be fixed in a single healing session. that’s what I’ve been fucking saying
should they stop the match? ABSOLUTELY. will they stop the match?? FUCKING WHAT DO YOU THINK
fucking hell, even Aizawa and All Might are just watching in awed admiration
SUPERHEROES ARE THE FUCKING WORST
Deku’s gonna be in the hospital for a fucking month and ALL OF THIS IS ON YOU SADISTIC FUCKS
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAIIIIINED
oh my god finally
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YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE A FIST IN THE FIRST PLACE. BUT OKAY. YEESHHH
now he’s... biting... his thumb...
aaand that’s another smash
this is fucking horrifying. I’m not enjoying this at all, not even gonna pretend. it’s just absurd to me at this point that they would let this keep dragging out. I hope this inspires a series of rule changes to future sports festivals to lessen the risk of children doing irreversible damage to their bodies all for the sake of a fucking exhibition match
Shouto asks why Deku is going this far and Deku says he’s “just trying to meet expectations”
All Might you need to sit down with this boy after this and explain where he’s supposed to draw the line in this regard. like, when you did the plus ultra thing? that was for a good cause! sacrificing yourself to save other people’s lives! but he’s just doing it because he has something to prove and it’s the dumbest fucking thing, ugh
sorry guys, I might be bitching about this the entire chapter if this keeps up
“I want to be a smiling, dependable, cool hero!” Deku fucking shrieks
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then you might want to step back about twenty feet and take a good long look at what you’re doing so far to accomplish those goals, Deku. because right now, “smiling” and “dependable” are not the words that come to mind
OH MY GOD!!!
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BABY SHOUTO WITH NO SCAR!!!
RED ALERT. GOT MY BOX OF TISSUES OUT. ICE CREAM IN THE FREEZER AND ASMR PLAYLIST CUED UP ON YOUTUBE IF I NEED SOMETHING TO CALM ME DOWN AFTER THIS SHIT
Deku says he can’t begin to imagine what Shouto’s experiences have been like or how fierce his determination must be, but...
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oh my god more flashbacks oh my god oh my god
(ETA: adding this note a couple years after the fact to warn people reading these recaps for the first time that my initial reaction to the full Shouto backstory was kind of intense. I really blew up at Rei in particular because without getting into any detail, that scene hit close to home for me in regard to some experiences I had while growing up. so I kind of projected a bit without meaning to. anyway, please see here for the “part 2″ version of this post, and fwiw Rei is now one of my favorite characters.)
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THIS CHAPTER IS MAKING ME SO FUCKING ANGRY I’M GONNA FUCKING HULK OUT. SHIT. FUCKING SHIT
SHOUTO’S SCREAMING AT DEKU TO SHUT UP AND I FUCKING AGREE. YOU JUST SAID YOURSELF THAT YOU DON’T KNOW THE HALF OF WHAT HE’S BEEN THROUGH AND NOW’S REALLY NOT THE TIME TO START FUCKING PREACHING AT HIM OVER WHETHER OR NOT HE’S SERIOUS ABOUT HIS GOAL
NOW BABY SHOUTO IS HUGGIN’ HIS MOM AND SAYING THAT HE HATES DADDY AND DOESN’T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM
BECAUSE HIS DADDY “BULLIES” HIS MOMMY OH MY GOD
HE KEEPS REPEATING THAT HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE LIKE THAT
WHY DID WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS STUPID FLASHBACK. I WANNA GO HOME
I KNOW IT’S MY FAULT!! I ASKED FOR ANGST!! I KNOW!! I’M SORRY! I NEVER LEARN SOBB
SHOUTO’S MOM IS PATTING HIS HEAD GENTLY
DEKU IS SCREAMING AT SHOUTO AGAIN. STOP SCREAMING AT HIM!!!
BABY SHOUTO IS LOOKING AT THE WINDOW AT SOME KIDS PLAYING
-- THOSE ARE HIS BROTHERS?????!
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AND HIS DAD SAYS NOT TO LOOK AT THEM, “THEY BELONG TO A DIFFERENT WORLD THAN YOU”
JESUS CHRIST. DID ENDEAVOR JUST WAKE UP ONE DAY AND DECIDE TO BE THE WORST??? JUST LIKE, THE WORST EVER? SINCE HE COULDN’T BE THE BEST, HE DECIDED TO BE THE WORST?!
LIKE, IF I HAD A GUN WITH TWO BULLETS AND WAS TRAPPED IN A ROOM WITH ENDEAVOR, MINETA, AND THE SKYPE VILLAIN, I WOULD SHOOT ENDEAVOR TWICE AND THEN PISTOL WHIP HIS DYING ASS UNTIL IT STOPPED TWITCHING??
NOW SHOUTO IS WALKING BY THE KITCHEN AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE’S ALREADY CRYING FROM SOMETHING (ABUSE, PROBABLY!!) AND HE’S OVERHEARING HIS MOM TALKING ON THE PHONE AND SHE’S SAYING THAT SHE CAN’T TAKE IT AND SOMETIMES THE LOOKS AT SHOUTO AND HIS LEFT SIDE AND HATES WHAT SHE SEES
WHAT A FUCKING THING FOR YOUR CHILD TO OVERHEAR!! AND I SEE A KETTLE ON THE STOVE! SHOULD I BE PREPARING MYSELF TO PUNCH MY COMPUTER SCREEN
SHE SAYS SHE CAN’T RAISE HIM ANYMORE
HE’S LOOKING UP AT HER WITH WIDE EYES
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SHE’S LOOKING AT HIM LIKE... I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE IT. I DON’T WANT TO DESCRIBE IT OR POST IT
AND THE NEXT PANEL AFTER THAT IS HIM WITH A BANDAGE OVER HIS LEFT EYE
I HOPE SHE FUCKING WENT TO JAIL FOR FUCKING LIFE. MAN, I DON’T EVEN CARE. I HAVE ALL THE SYMPATHY FOR HER, RIGHT UP UNTIL SHE (A) LEFT HERSELF AND SHOUTO IN THAT SITUATION RATHER THAN TRYING TO REMOVE HIM FROM IT, AND THEN (B) FUCKING MAIMED HER OWN FUCKING CHILD, WHO LITERALLY HAD NO ONE ELSE EXCEPT FOR HER
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I HATE THIS!!! I HATE ALL OF THIS!!!! I HATE THAT I AGREE WITH ENDEAVOR’S DECISION! I HATE THAT SHE ENDED UP PAYING FOR HIS GARBAGE BEHAVIOR! AND I HATE THAT SHOUTO IS NOW STUCK WITH HIM ALL ALONE!
AND IT SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING IN SHOUTO JUST SNAPPED FROM THAT POINT ON AND HE BECAME DETERMINED TO DEFY HIM
BACK TO THE FIGHT OMG
DEKU IS GOING FULL SHOUNEN JESUS
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OH MY GOD AND IT FLASHES BACK TO BABY SHOUTO AGAIN
AND HE’S WATCHING A VIDEO, AND IT’S AN INTERVIEW WITH FUCKING ALL MIGHT
HE SAYS QUIRKS ARE PASSED FROM PARENT TO CHILD, BUT IT’S NOT JUST THAT AND “ONE MUST RECOGNIZE AND APPRECIATE ONESELF”
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FUUUUUUUUUUCK
HE LOOKS SO HAPPY AND RELIEVED AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE HAS THE SAME BABY BOY CRUSH ON ALL MIGHT THAT BABY DEKU HAD
I’M JUST SO MAD AND UPSET THAT THIS WOMAN COULD HURT THIS CHILD, KNOWING FULL WELL HOW DIFFERENT HE WAS FROM HIS FATHER, HOW MUCH HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM, AND HOW MUCH THE MERE THOUGHT OF IT HURT HIM
OH MY GOD AND NOW PRESENT-DAY TODOROKI LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO CRY
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PROBABLY WHEN THE SAME WOMAN WHO SHOWED YOU THAT VIDEO LOST HER MIND AND POURED SCALDING WATER ON YOUR FACE
WELP
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I just want to press pause for a sec and let you guys know that I’ve been listening to my “fight music” playlist during my readthrough of this chapter, and this scene was absolutely perfectly timed. got to this point RIGHT when I read that panel. I got so fucking fired up lol
so finally Todoroki has gotten over his stupid insistence on not using his left side! yay! I think Deku could have picked a better sort of therapy than this, personally, but hey! anyways, are you happy now dude?
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you know what, forget I asked. no one cares about you
I’m just happy for this little guy:
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THAT WEIRD SMILE AT THE END I CAN’T I’M FUCKING DEAD. HE LOOKS SO HAPPY AND DORKY
ALSO, WAY TO BLOW ANY CHANCE THAT BAKUGOU OR ANYONE ELSE HAD OF DEFEATING HIM LOL. MIGHT AS WELL JUST WRAP UP THIS COMPETITION NOW
(ETA: well I mean. it would’ve been true if this breakthrough had actually stuck lol)
well, Deku, you did it. you can pass out now
BONUS: 
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Kouda’s pure, sweet face is all the ASMR I need after this chapter that fucked up my emotions in every possible way!
gotta tell you guys, I liked his design from the start. but this?
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this just seals the deal. he is in fact the best character in the whole series. THIS WHOLE TIME IT WAS KOUDA, who the fuck would have ever thought
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raiyine · 2 years ago
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AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Brian Asman
AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Brian Asman
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raiyine · 3 years ago
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AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Brian Asman
AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Brian Asman
Meghan: Hi, Brian! Welcome to Meghan’s House of Books. Thanks for agreeing to be a part of this year’s Halloween Extravaganza. What is your favorite part of Halloween? Brian: Watching a spooky veneer slowly creep over my neighborhood, transforming a sun-drenched beach community into a real-life Halloweentown. I like to imagine it’s emanating from my house, where it’s Halloween 24/7. Meghan:…
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