#I wrote this years ago

[perfectsunlight]

𝐝𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐯𝐮

𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞́ 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, cheating, insecurities.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5,233

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you and rosé have been broken up for months now. but when rumors suddenly spread of your ex and a new lover, you can't help but wonder if she gets deja vu.

𝐚/𝐧: this was the first kpop fic i ever wrote back in 2021. i didn't finish it until this year. i hope u all enjoy this ancient work lol

when the world found out about you and your idol girlfriend, they went crazy.

you, this seemingly mysterious american actress, and none other than blackpink's own rosé. the media had fabricated their own stories of how you two had met, as well as playing some sort of a guessing game to see how long your relationship has been going for. some journalists were brave enough to even try and pin an expiration date on your relationship, but you and your girlfriend simply found the whole ordeal entertaining.

when the world found out about you and your idol girlfriend's breakup, they completely lost it.

thousands of comments, numerous phone calls, as well as the mobs of the paparazzi, followed you everywhere you went. the media once again fabricated stories to try and create even more drama, and with the paparazzi practically hounding you for answers, it felt like the end of the world all over again. except this time, you were on your own.

"y/n l/n!" "over here!" "y/n, are the rumors true?" "y/n, can we get a statement from you?"

your nails dug into your palms as you increased your walking pace, trying your best to navigate through the seemingly never-ending sea of blinding flashes. it had only been two weeks since the breakup, and somehow everyone and their mother seemed to know about it. even through your sunglasses, you still had a hard time figuring out the quickest route to escape all of this. 

you couldn't help but wonder how rosé was dealing with all of this. usually, the two of you would be able to tiptoe around the paparazzi and journalists. the media hounded you both once yg released a statement confirming your relationship. yet, somehow, you guys managed to avoid everything the majority of the time, and during the few occurrences that you both were caught off guard, having each other there helped make the anxiety-inducing experience more tolerable.

a car door opened for you and you quickly sat down inside, physically exhaling a breath you didn't realize you had been holding in. leaning your head back against the seat, your eyes slipped close. even through the tinted windows and your shut eyes, you could still see the flashing lights. 

you could also still hear their voices.

"l/n, what was the cause of the breakup?" "y/n, why were you not at rosé's party?" "are you and rosé officially over?"

tears began to form at the corners of your eyes, and even though the car windows were tinted, you feared the thought of any image of you crying being plastered all over the internet. you couldn't let the world see you like this. 

more specifically, you couldn't let park chaeyoung see you like this.

you didn't have her at your side anymore, but you knew she was not free from the wrath of the public at the moment either. your breakup came unexpectedly. after nearly a year and a half together, your agencies had announced that you called it quits. your relationship was going so well, and the public adored you two. but of course, it wasn't like your relationship had always been smooth sailing.

as a matter of fact, it was anything but smooth sailing.

relationships take work, but relationships with an international superstar require exponentially more work. you were an actress, but not on the level of rosie's status. the first time you met your now ex-girlfriend was about a year after blackpink had debuted. your agency had flown you out to south korea for filming a few scenes for a new upcoming movie. when yg caught wind of your arrival, they immediately reached out and offered to give you a tour of their offices, as well as introduce you to some of their own notable people in the entertainment industry. 

you were simply there to make new connections, but when you first arrived, you immediately ended up getting lost.

and that's when you bumped into her. literally.

-

"i am so, so sorry."  

your ears perked up at the recognizable accent that came from the girl in front of you. she was definitely not originally from korea. "it's alright, i should have been paying more attention to where i had been going." flashing a small smile, you tried your best to assure her that it was also your fault.

the other girl visibly relaxed at your comment, returning the smile you threw her way. "you look a little lost. do you need help finding someone? or a specific room? i'd be happy to help." 

relief washed over you as you gave her a few nods. "that would be wonderful, thank you so much." 

you stuck your hand out in front of you, smiling brightly. "i’m y/n."

the other girl grinned and mirrored your actions, firmly grasping her hand with yours.

"rosé."

-

you never planned on befriending the idol who helped you navigate yg's building. yet, somehow, you two managed to develop somewhat of a friendship over time. she would call you in between her practices, and you were there, always eager to listen to her. you would often do the same as well, sending her snaps or little texts throughout your day in between filming scenes. 

she knew about your aspirations and dreams, the way you liked your coffee, the way you had a fear of spiders. you knew about her struggles as a trainee, how she loved to play the guitar almost all the time, and her favorite spicy foods.

the both of you seemed to grow closer and closer everyday, and before you knew it, you were slowly starting to fall for the girl.

after all, it wasn't hard to fall for someone like rosé. she was beautiful, talented, and so kindhearted. you admired her passion for music, and every once in a while, she would even offer to bring you over so you could meet the other members of the group. you would have loved to take her up on that offer, and as much as rosie hated to admit it, you two were just so busy to even meet up for a bite to eat.

your friendship became somewhat strained as blackpink began to gain traction internationally, along with your own career gaining more attention as well. soon enough, your almost daily interactions turned into once a week conversations, until they became a few short texts every once in a while. 

yet, little did you know, the idol was also slowly falling for you. jisoo was the first to notice it, and of course lisa was the first to make fun of her for it. jennie tried her best to keep the maknae in line, but it was most often to no avail. rosé was more than aware of how her company would react if they found out, and she knew that she couldn't risk potentially damaging her career right now. but she couldn't help it. after all, you were the only person she could think about, even during your absence from each other.

a few months had passed by, and the two of you haven't really spoken to each other at all. it wasn't anyone's fault really, especially once your movie was nearing its release date and with blackpink just dropping their newest track, "ddu-du ddu-du". about a week and a half before its release worldwide, your agency had decided to hold a movie premiere in new york city. 

-

"y/n! over here!" "look this way!" "you look stunning, l/n!"

fitted in the most exquisite emerald-colored dress, you made your way across the red carpet. you waved and stopped to pose for a few moments before getting ushered into the building. chatter buzzed through the building as everyone conversed with each other. you and your co-stars had been engaging in your own discussions when suddenly louder cheering and shouting was heard from outside. 

despite the pandemonium occurring outside, one name they were shouting was clearer than crystal to you. immediately turning around as the doors opened, you couldn't help but smile with pride at the attention that the group had brought with them. rosé's eyes immediately scanned the room, but she didn't have to look long before you began walking towards her.

the now blonde girl let out the most contagious laugh as she practically threw her arms around you. you two were practically jumping up and down, causing the other three members of blackpink to laugh at your antics. 

"y/n/n! it's been forever!"  rosie's hands stayed wrapped around your waist, while yours stayed on top of her shoulders. rosé couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach when she looked at you, and you couldn't stop smiling at how excited she was to see you. "i know! i've just been so busy, but so have you! you all are doing such an amazing job."  you complimented as you turned your head towards the other girls. 

rosé properly introduced you to the other girls in the group; jisoo, jennie, and lisa. the five of you chatted away about everything and anything, up until each of your managers ushered you all to your seats for the premiere. fortunately, blackpink was seated on the aisle to the left of you and your cast members. part of the australian wanted to just move the other actors next to you out of the way so she could sit beside you, but she knew better than that.

throughout the whole movie, you two kept stealing glances at each other. jennie even had to tell rosie to stop "drooling" over you and watch your movie. the only thing your manager told you was to use this opportunity to "strengthen connections”

it wasn't until the afterparty that things got more interesting for you two. 

after a few drinks and lots of dancing, you and everyone else there were drunk out of your minds. the only people who were less intoxicated were jisoo and each of your managers. jisoo was tipsy enough though to start randomly doing the chicken dance with jennie every fifteen minutes or so.

as a congratulatory gift, the girls had provided you and your cast members with some korean alcohol from overseas. needless to say, you were still heavily intoxicated, but still somehow seriously questioning how in the world the soju you drank tasted like hand-sanitizer.

rosé couldn't stop laughing at the face you made every time you took a sip from the green bottle. "y/n, the face you make gets me every time." jennie busted out laughing as well as she looked over jisoo's shoulder, before teasing you. "you know, for an actress you seriously have no facial control when it comes to liquor."  she said with a grin. you rolled your eyes while fighting the urge to gag at the aftertaste lingering in your throat.

"do you need me to get you some water?" lisa inquired before she took another sip of the soju she had in a glass, biting back her own laughter as she observed your current state.

"no, it's okay. i can go find some." you coughed out as you stood up slowly before waving with your hand as you walked away, shouting a quick "i'll be right back" before beginning your search for water. 

you wandered around the tables and shelves, searching for any water. unfortunately, there seemed to be none. sighing, you rubbed your temple and grabbed an empty rocks glass before making your way out of the main room and down the hallway. upon finding the bathroom, you filled the empty glass with water from the sink and swallowed it quickly.

the illuminated mirror made you take in your current flushed face, and the small beads of sweat that glittered your forehead. your makeup was somehow still intact, and your hair was still also. suddenly the door opened, and you were met with an all-too familiar face.

"i just came to check on you, i saw you leave the room so i wanted to make sure you were alright." the other girl stated slowly, the alcohol still clearly in her system. it was almost adorable though, and a faint tint of red spread across your cheeks at the thought of the blonde caring about you.

"i'm alright, thank you though, rosie. there wasn't any water out there, so i just got some from the sink." you explained with a small smile. 

"i don't think i mentioned this to you yet tonight, but you look absolutely stunning, y/n." your face flushed again at her words. your eyes met hers as she leaned against the sink next to you. quickly shooting her a genuine smile, you looked away from her and back to your reflection. "thank you, rosie. you look stunning tonight as well." you replied.

"i really missed you." 

rosé didn't know if it was the alcohol in her system, or the fear that she would grow farther apart from you after tonight, but for whatever reason, her confession seemed to linger in the air and echo off of the walls of the bathroom. slowly, you turned your head to look at her once more, and to your surprise the blonde shifted and leaned forward to give you a hug. 

"i missed you too, chae."

for the second time that night, your arms made their home around the idol's neck. she inhaled your scent, and your head rested in the crook of her neck. but for the first time in your life, you felt as if the world grew silent. the other girl pulled away slightly, still keeping her arms around your body. you simply stared at her in confusion, trying to decipher the look on her face. 

roseanne knew the risks. she knew how hard she and the other girls had worked to make it to where they were today. she knew about how hard you had worked to get to where you were as well, and she would hate to put either of you at risk. but she couldn't help herself. 

years of expectations, years of training, and years of loneliness had made their place in the idol's history. tonight, she was going to change that. right then and there, she had decided she was going to risk it all because she deserved to be happy. and so did you.

you don't remember how it actually happened. all you remembered was your lips on hers, you two leaving the party together, and rest was history.

-

at first, the two of you kept your relationship practically invisible. the only others who knew were the other members. you guys had managed to keep it that way for the first three and a half months before dispatch had leaked a photo of the two of you holding hands and kissing goodbye as you walked through the airport. you two had thought that since your fans weren't as crazy as hers, that you could get away with it this one time. unfortunately, you two failed to realize that blinks would be able to tell it was rosie from miles away. 

you had hopped on a flight from new york city to seattle for a fan-signing event for your next upcoming project and unfortunately did not see the photo until you landed.

you remembered how you called her panicking in the middle of the airport bathroom, practically on the verge of a heart attack. but you were not fearing for your own career; it was for hers. yg had just announced that blackpink was supposed to perform at coachella only a week before the image was leaked.

what you didn't know though was that rosé had a meeting with her managers during your flight and before you called her. 

due to her still being at your apartment in new york city until the following morning, yg had been able to contact her pretty easily. since korea was 13 hours ahead, the company had caught wind of the dispatch photo rumor only an hour and a half before it would reach the headlines in north america. 

what you also didn't know was that yg and your blonde lover had released an official statement confirming the relationship. 

the company thought it was a great business move by rosie, and even applauded her for drawing more international attention to the group. of course the other girls in the group were not fond of the company's perspective of your relationship, but it was not like they could have asked for a better reaction.

time went on, and everything was practically perfect between you two; at least to the public eye it seemed so. 

you both loved each other very much, but you would be lying if you said it wasn't hard dating. due to your movie's success, you had been given around 6 months off. you were grateful for the time to rest, but more importantly, for the time to spend with your girlfriend. unfortunately, it seemed as if your lover was busier during those months than she had been all year. you two had spent a few weekends here and there together, but they were almost often interrupted by sudden meeting calls or other brand ambassador things that she had to do. 

you were a bit bummed that your lover was so busy, but you knew this is the life she had wanted and worked for, so you simply smiled and moved forward hoping that she could somehow catch a break.

it wasn't until 8 days before coachella, and only three weeks before your break was over, that you finally were able to spend the most time with rosé. 

if only you would have known that it would be the last time you and rosé would hang out.

-

"do you think my outfit would look better with the white shoes or with the black shoes?" you asked as you rummaged through your luggage to find your missing black shoe.

when your question was met with silence, you looked up from the mess you were making and directed your gaze towards your girlfriend. rosé was currently sitting on the couch of your hotel, phone in hand and giggling softly at whatever she seemed to be looking at. 

“rosie?" 

you called her name, hoping this time to actually get her attention. yet unfortunately, your effort was in vain. you stood from your sitting position, holding both pairs of shoes in your hands.

brows furrowed, you stood a few feet in front of your girlfriend before trying once more to get her attention.

"chaeyoung."

the idol's eyes suddenly met yours, confusion laced across her features as she realized you were standing in front of her. "yes, love?" she replied, her accent ever so apparent as she spoke. mirroring her confusion, you raised an eyebrow before replying,"did you not hear me calling you?"  

your girlfriend sheepishly smiled before shaking her head lightly, "i'm sorry. what did you need?"  you held up your shoes and repeated your question from earlier.

"do you think my outfit would look better with the white shoes or with the black shoes?"

rosé's eyes narrowed slightly before answering you. "the black ones." nodding at her answer, you set the other pair of shoes back onto the floor before walking over to her.

“why are you so distracted?” you tilted your head to the side as you looked down at her on the bed.

she smiled awkwardly before turning her phone off and looking up at you. “it was just something lisa sent to the groupchat.”

“can i see?” i smiled. “lisa sends the funniest ones.”

rosé’s smile faltered for a moment before she stood up and grabbed your hand. “we’re going to miss the sunset. lets go?”

the two of you walked along the beach in malibu, strawberry ice cream being shared as you walked. the ocean waves crashed along the shoreline, washing away your footprints in the sand.

“are you excited for your performance?” you asked softly as the california sunset painted a mural in the sky. shades of pink and orange casted a myriad of soft tones onto the both of you, but as beautiful as the sunset was, all you could focus on was how beautiful your girlfriend looked.

the soft golden light made her look even more ethereal. your lover’s features were always angelic, but nothing stood out to you more than her smile. 

she gave you a small smile and nodded, taking one of the spoons to take a bit of the strawberry ice cream in your hands. the comfortable silence lingered for a while, allowing for the two of you to simply enjoy the sounds of the ocean accompanied by each other’s presence.

“are you cold?” you asked her, noticing how the ocean breeze may be a bit too cool for your girlfriend’s liking. the other woman chuckled and nodded again. “just a little.” your girlfriend was not a fan of the cold too much, so once you got confirmation of her being cold, you started taking your jacket off to give it to her.

the idol only laughed at how it fit on her, which in turn made you laugh as well, and you couldn’t help but feel the love you had for her becoming more palpable. once the sun dipped over the ocean’s horizon, the two of you made your way back to the hotel.

cuddled up together under the sheets, the two of you relished each other’s presence as the dim light from the tv lit the otherwise darkened room. reruns of glee were playing, and you felt your heart flutter at the sound of rosé humming to a few of the songs. 

“sing me something.” you mumbled into her chest. “i love hearing your voice.” she smelled like a light, floral fragrance with notes of rose, jasmine, sandalwood, and amber. the perfect combination for someone so elegant and angelic. 

when you didn’t hear a response from her, you raised your head a little to see what she was doing. rosie’s chest vibrated as she chuckled, looking down at something on her phone, too occupied to notice your comment from a few moments earlier.

“rosie?” you said softly, trying to get her attention. however, once you did, she seemed a bit distracted. “yes babe?” the australian said with a chuckle, glancing between you and her phone that was now turned over on her lap. “sorry, did you say something?”

your head tilted to the side a little, a little curious as to this being the second time today that your lover seemed to be acting a bit odd. so you decided to ask her about it. “you seem a bit distracted today. is everything okay?” you asked gently.

the question clearly caught her off guard a little, and you swore you could have seen a bit of panic on her face. almost as if she knew how she was acting. almost as if, she had something to hide.

“oh have i? im sorry, i guess im still jet lagged.” she stuttered out, placing a hand on your cheek in an attempt to sooth your worries. except, you weren’t that clueless. you had been with rosie for a while now, and you knew how the idol acted when she was jet lagged. 

and this was definitely not it.

“rosie, can i see your phone?” you asked slowly, noticing how fidgety she got when you leaned in closer to her. the idol let out a forced laugh, looking at you as if you just asked her something so strange and random. “um, what for, babe?” she said in a tone hidden with something you could not really pin point. looking back on it, it was definitely fear.

“rosie.” you said a little firmly, staring into the idol’s eyes with a look of determination. “let me see it.” it was clear to both you and the superstar that you were not taking no for an answer. especially since roseanne had never seen such a look in your eyes before. it scared her, a little. 

you don’t remember much of what happened after that. all you remember is seeing some messages that broke your heart, hearing rosie stumbling over her words trying to explain what you just saw, and then the way you grabbed your suitcase and stormed out of the hotel room.

except, before you did, you remembered telling the idol one last thing.

with tears in your eyes, blurring your vision with watery opposition, you could see the way the girl you loved was begging for you to stay in the doorway. but you didn’t care. the damage was done, and it was too late now.

with a broken heart and crushed spirit, you told rosé one last sentence that would mark the end to your relationship.

“we’re done.”

-

now, it had been months since the breakup. it was heartbreaking for you to go through this. you never thought chaeyoung would cheat on you, especially after everything the two of you had been through. it also didn’t make things easier because of the media.

everyone wanted answers as to why the most popular couple in the entertainment world was now broken up, without any answers as to why. both your fans and rosie’s hounded the internet, taking jabs and picking sides in this breakup that shocked the world on both sides of the globe.

it also didn’t help that as the weeks went on, you saw the rumors circulating around your ex and her new lover. 

although you two had not spoken publicly about the breakup, it only being confirmed by your agencies instead, you couldn’t help but feel like this new woman rosé was with was the same woman she was texting that night at the hotel. nevertheless, you didn’t bother asking, especially at this point. 

you couldn’t even stand to listen to kpop anymore. the entire genre was ruined for you, because you couldn’t listen to kpop without listening to blackpink, of course. speaking of the other members, the girls had all reached out to you as well, saying that you were still family to them, and they would love to still keep in touch.

you didn’t bother replying to any of the three. it wasn’t that you didn’t care about the other girls, but rather that it hurt too much, and you no longer wanted anything to do with the australian or her members right now.

currently you laid in your bed, sheets tangled from your sleepless night prior and floor scattered with water bottles, tissues, and clothes. it was obvious to everyone around you that you were grieving. you were feeling ever single stage of grief, somehow all at the same time.

it also didn't help that every time you went on your phone, you saw new photos and updates about your ex and her new lover. you didn’t know much, other than that she was practically attached to the idol’s hip 24/7. overwhelmed with the stages of anger, denial, and bargaining, you got a bad idea. 

you reached over your pillow and pulled out your phone and decided to do a deep dive into this new woman that your ex girlfriend cheated on you with. it was a horrendous idea, that was for sure, but it was something you just couldn’t shove off anymore.

the new girl was another actress, making your pride hurt significantly.

“another actress?” you muttered under your breath and kept scrolling through the twitter updates. you knew rosé had secretly dated actresses in the past too, but you hated to think that you were just her type. it hurt your ego just as much as it hurt your heart. 

“suzy…bae?” you mumbled as you looked at pictures of this actress. she was beautiful, there was no doubt there. the woman was also a well known figure in the korean entertainment industry. it was no wonder why so many koreans were ecstatic about rosé’s sudden new love interest. 

you found yourself  looking through your ex’s instagram for the first time since the breakup. your relationship was private, but not secret, so there would be only a few photos of you and chaeyoung posted. 

well, not anymore, since upon further inspection, rosé clearly deleted all of them. it stung a little, but it wasn’t like you were expecting anything less. you two were broken up for a few months now.

except, as you scrolled through the pictures on her page, you couldn’t help but notice a few familiar places in some of them. 

there was one with the two eating ice cream on the beach in malibu, the same one you and chaeyoung had been to less than a year ago. there was one with them renting out a movie theater to watch glee, something you and rosie did for fun back when you were still together. there was even a video of rosie teaching suzy how to play “uptown girl” on the piano, a song you had once taught her how to play.

“i bet she tells her she loves her in between the chorus and the verse, too.” you whispered harshly, the stinging feeling growing in your chest as you kept on digging through the photos. it was only making you feel worse, but you couldn’t help but feel angry. 

was anything even real? did the soft spoken blonde that you loved ever truly love you? or was it all just a lie? 

you couldn’t help but wonder if everything you did with park chaeyoung was just recycled from her previous relationships, especially considering how she was reusing everything from yours. 

everything felt like a lie. tears slowly fell from your face, and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. you wanted to scream and shout, to let the world know that roseanne cheated on you and was reusing everything with her new lover. except you wouldn’t do that to her.

you also wouldn’t do what she was doing to someone else, either. 

everyone is made up from the different pieces of the people they once loved, but to copy and paste the same memories over and over again led you to realize that maybe rosé never truly loved you. you were haunted by this thought from the moment you stormed out of the hotel room in california that night, but with this newfound information? 

it was hard to believe that it wasn’t true. but even still, with this heartache and pain swirling inside you, you couldn’t help but wonder if rosé felt no guilt or shame. did she not feel bad at all? did she miss what you had, or even, just you? when was rosie going to tell her that you two did all of that too? that everything suzy probably thought was “unique” about your ex girlfriend was all just reused?

but none of these thoughts compared to the biggest question that now burned in the front of your mind. it was one you couldn’t help but ask out loud. 

“do you get deja vu?”

[lsdoiphin]

Sorry, Ike: you have been accepted into Sam’s found family(derogatory).

[marlynnofmany]

This Time

Found it! By popular request (@sleepy-sheep-inn @gryphonablaze @lil-dabbler), here’s the story about someone years after a portal fantasy adventure.

740 words

~~~

I hated driving this route. But part of me was still drawn to it, with a kind of sickly anticipation that hadn’t been completely ground down by the years of disappointment. Maybe this time would be different. Maybe I’d see more than trees and ferns and long, winding road.

Maybe this time I’d feel the thrum of magic in the woods, smell the crackle of ozone, hear the distant bugle of a dragon calling me home.

This world wasn’t my home anymore. Hadn’t been since I was thirteen — the first time I was thirteen. The second time, I had to relearn how to move in a body that was soft and small, with no scars. A body that had never lost a hand to mage-fire.

I tried not to think about it now, clenching my right hand harder on the steering wheel to prove that it was there. Of course it was — why would I think there was anything wrong with it, and why was I using my left hand so much now? Hadn’t I been right-handed as a kid? I shrugged off people’s questions, claiming to be learning to use both hands just for fun. I didn’t really care if anyone bought it.

There were a lot of things I didn’t care about now.

Like the work conference I was driving north for. I’d tried to weasel out of it, but no dice. I was stuck taking the highway through the redwoods again, on a gray afternoon that had rained once and probably would again. I scowled at the wet forest as it rolled by. Checked the gas level, turned the radio on, then off again.

I wanted a distraction, but…

If I missed something because I was listening to crappy music, I’d never forgive myself.

Three more turns in silence, with no other cars on the road, and I slumped in resignation. Sighed. Opened all the windows and slowed down, taking deep breaths and listening for all I was worth.

The air was rich with damp bark, wet mulch, and the tang of wet asphalt. The redwood trees stood brown-black under feathery green leaves. Blank sky peeked through, that kind of grayish that makes it look like someone took an eraser to all the blue, or dropped this part of the world into an empty void.

If only. I could probably find my way home from a void.

I shook my head, wanting to close the windows on the breeze that carried only normal Earth scents. But of course I didn’t. As hard and pessimistic as I fancied myself to be, there was still a spark of childlike optimism, the last remnants of the determination that everything will be okay because I say so that had helped save a world years ago.

All it did for me now was open old wounds.

Specks of rain pattered onto the windshield, some finding their way onto my sweater and cheek. I pulled in one last lungful of rainy-weather smell and fumbled for the window buttons.

Wait. What was that scent? It was faint, but familiar. I knew I was deluding myself, but I froze and drove even slower. Stuck my head out into the raindrops and breathed deeply.

Phoenix musk. It couldn’t be. Aside from the obvious impossibility, this forest was far too wet for a firebird to tolerate—

The echoing hoot of an offended phoenix made me stomp the brakes with everything I had, jerking the wheel to send the car skidding into the ferns. I was out the door in a heartbeat, standing in the road and casting about desperately. Everything was quiet except for the tap of rain and the click and hiss of my car’s engine cooling down. I stepped away from the car, moving with heel-to-toe stealth like I was avoiding enemy sorcerers. My right arm rose of its own accord, as if the casting-crystal prosthesis was there ready for battle. I consciously dropped my hand to my side and listened.

Nothing. Nothing.

Then a chirp and a murmur and a snap that I felt more than heard, and a rush of heat as magic flowed toward me like water to the roots of a dry tree. Humming filled my head.

I broke into a grin and dashed into the woods, plowing past wet ferns with abandon, not caring if the water on my cheeks was from rain or tears.

“Wait for me! I’m coming!”

[dropunderscore]

Holy shit found a poem I wrote when I was like 12

"They say if you don't say no

It isn't rape

They forget about drug use

Drinking

Peer pressure

They forget that I was a child

He was older

Stronger

Dirty

I was younger

Weaker

Innocent

And now I'm stuck

Stuck forever because no one cares

Others get my pain

But its easy to forget

It's easy to forget

When the kids call you names

The consoler dosent care

My dad blames me

It's easy to forget

When my friends joke

I joke

Kids joke

Nobody cares"

Ermmmm what the flip guys

[cringeemokid]

Tonight There are some nights When I try to forget about it Push the sparks and butterflies to the back of my mind Pretend like you weren’t the flame That kept me warm While my house was burning down Other nights I reach for the memories when I want to fight sleep The warmth of your hands on my waist The electricity of your lips caressing every expanse of my skin The softness of your hair between my fingers And brushing against my thighs The way you took my hand While I listened to your heart And let me feel the scarred imperfections That dotted your ribcage Even though the skin was sensitive But what I miss most Is the way your eyes wrinkled at the corners When you laughed But you don’t even smile at me anymore Now that the fire is out

[granolagaeilgeoir]

There is no one around. Croaks and Chirps serenade the Night; The roar of an air conditioner Interrupts the perfect Symphony; But it never overpowers. And the Trees are still buzzing. Out there, the lamps alight once more, Intoxicated with false glory; Until the Sun comes, reveals They are spouts of poison On Her otherwise perfect scene. But on they hum, unhearing. Ignorant. And the Trees are still buzzing. A flash scars the night. Lightning? No. A woman walks her Master, Captures the mundane in a beautiful paradigm. she saunters, stops. Flash! she is blind. The drone of gilded praise meets her; Dazzles her vanity, condemns her portrait. But she pushes. It all fades to black. And the Trees are still buzzing. The thud of a book; Sharp, cruel, condemning, Reverberates across the Grass. Its cry bounces from brick to brick, Weaving despair, pride, exhaustion into the Ivy. Its judgement encourages and destroys All those led into its electrifying trance. But a life is not sown from letters. And the Trees are still buzzing. Murmurs in the garden, The Bushes watch, loudly alive; Yet only a man’s question is heard. Ghosts ring out in her ears - Yes? Ah, the paths will converge. They are content in unison; but they will die. Love does not preserve the path, Nor keep the curtain from falling. But its wisdom fades as the lamps burn out. And the Trees are still buzzing.

[a-single-white-crow]

Ode to Crows

From above, I hear the song

of an angel.

Silky black wings,

fluttering, sparkling, dancing through the sky.

I wish to fly like you.

Croaking loudly, reminding the world that you

are still here.

How could something as beautiful as you, be seen as

an omen of death?

You who sing of

life and family,

Your intelligence is one of true

Marvel.

Oh, to be a crow.

[romansleftshoulderpad]

As a writer, I love going back through the comments I've gotten on AO3. I promise that the minute you take of your time has been appreciated for hours/months/years

[ititledit]

Watched the TNG episode "Starship Mine", got curious and found that fandom wiki has a page dedicated to saddles just because of this episode.

Oh they mention a saddle on a Vulcan statue, but really the page exists because of this.

[dailycupofcreativitea]

Little comic which is a parody of a scene in Gintama (I completely forgot what episode) 🥹

Also: they were co-parents (oh my god they were co-parents)

[stavey04]

The last leaf on the autumn tree,

The wind trying to grab hold of it

The last leaf on the autumn tree,

In all its glory by itself

It’s stuck to the branch

It’s just there

Sitting

Listening

Waiting for the final gust of wind

To knock it off it’s high horse

And let it fall to it’s demise

Then there it was the wind

Blowing through the nearby trees

To knock the leaf and then

It fell.

[nataliescatorccio]

"I always used to get a lot of impostor syndrome, and feel like I was a bad actor, because I don’t do actor-y things like [using emotional memory]. It’s kind of like a last resort for me. I have more of a technical approach to acting, where research is the bulk of it. Making sure that I understand every single thing that’s on the page, every word. I know what my character’s favourite colour is, I know how she sounds, I know how she walks. I know what her fucking middle name is." - ELLA PURNELL

[lady-shadow-and-darkness]

Hear me out :

Teen Dazai and Chuuya going around finding every single arcade in the entire city and always having the very top two high scores in most of the games to the point where every single teen who has ever lived in Yokohama and has gone to any arcade is like "I don't know who the fuck Mackerel and Slug are but they're annoying."

[rev-pirate]

Happy 10 year Anniversary to Tumblr Heritage Post Thrift Shoppe by Pixlriffs 

[ratbastarddotfuck]

idk man my sense of masculinity is built upon joy and strong hugs and big laughs and protecting the people around me by drawing the attention of assholes to myself. when I was younger I used to go for the "brood and be grumpy" shtick, and it just made me and the people around me feel bad. I think my power now is in the ability to unwaveringly be a silly goofy guy. I want to bring laughter & love to a space. and obviously that's not a uniquely masculine trait (there's no such thing) but it's one of the biggest factors in how I experience my transmasc gender. god. I love being big and loud and full of love. promise me you won't be afraid to be bold?

[bixels]

The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.