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ddanthedumbass · 11 months

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Day off || Lily Evans x fem! Reader

Author note <3

Hiiiiii Lily just has my heart like🙄 im in science class rn (im supposed to b playing blooket but it sucks dics)

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING GRYFFINDOR X READER LIKE I ONLY DO SLYTHERINS (and my first time doing marauders era)

I always accept corrective criticism, spelling correction, grammar correction, and requests.

I appreciate your support 💞

Sé onr sverdar sitija hvass!

-Arii💕

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You were tired and your eyelids were heavy, but you ran your hand through your H/L H/C hair and turned your attention back to the piece of parchment in front of you, the lamp by its side casting it a warm glow.

You sighed and looked at the pages filled with writing, scribbling, and a few doodles in the corner, all written in black ink.

This is only two pages….. It should be five! You thought, sighing deeply and dipping your quill back into the ink.

Paragraph 4 — Werewolf lore, You wrote on your third piece of parchment, and though you only used two pages, your handwriting was small and if anyone else copied it onto their parchment, it would most likely take up five or six pages.

You scribbled with your quill for a few couple hours before your eyelids felt heavier than ever, like they were made of metal.

One more page… you thought encouragingly to yourself.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

“Y/N?”

You groaned and ignored the voice.

“Y/N?”

“Y/N!?” YOur eyelids fluttered open and you lifted your head abruptly, causing your vision to temporarily blur and your head to temporarily spin.

“Y/N, why were you sleeping in the common room with your quill?” Lily asked you with a look of concern on her face “Were you staying up to do your homework again?”

You flinched slightly as her tone suddenly went from worried to stern. “Uh” was the only thing you could say.

“Y/N, overworking is not good for you.” Lily said, knitting her eyebrows with a look of mingled concern and distress.

“It’s oka–”

“No, it's not!” Lily cut in, her eyebrows furrowed and a slight frown on her face “What time did you go to sleep, Y/N?”

You thought for a moment, biting your lip “I don’t know..”

Lily huffed and put her hands on her hips “You're not going to class today. I am going to get your absence excused and you will not do anything related to homework, school, or studying.”

YOu stared at Lily with a look of disbelief “But… My essay is due tomorrow and I only have four and a half pages done and I still have to do my essay for professor Slughorn and professor Dippet!”

Lily shook her head “No.”

You sighed and gave up trying to change Lily’s mind, since anyone who’s talked to her would know, if she decided on something, that decision is final and nobody can do anything to make her change her mind. “Okay. Fine.”

Lily’s expression became brighter immediately “Okay!” she said, beaming and pulling you up onto your feet.

You couldn’t help but smile at Lily’s adorableness. “Okay, Evans.” you said, rolling your eyes.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You sat on your bed, your sketchbook in your lap, doodling absentmindedly.

“Y/N!” Lily plopped onto the bed next to you “What are you drawing?”

“Uh,” You looked down at your paper “I’m just doodling… you were gone for a while and I got bored.”

Lily laughed, “It wasn’t that long! It was only like twenty minutes!”

You smiled and rolled your eyes. “Twenty minutes is a long time when you're sitting on the floor doing nothing!”

Lily pulled a look of fake consideration “Yea, sure.”

You smiled and looked at Lily, your E/C eyes locking with Lily’s green ones for a split second before you looked away, feeling flustered for no reason. Get yourself together, Y/N. You silently chided yourself, ashamed of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

“You Okay?” Lily asked you, the smile slowly disappearing from her face, being replaced by a look of concern.

“Yea, I’m fine, just spaced out for a second.” You gave Lily a reassuring smile. “What do you want to do for the whole day without class?”

Lily’s smile reappeared immediately “I planned the whole day earlier!” She said excitedly, practically jumping with enthusiasm.

“How much earlier?”

“When I was walking to Professor Dumbledoor’s classroom.”

You sighed, a smile on your face “I’ll trust you planned well in like, five or less minutes.”

“I did, promise.”

You nodded and rolled your eyes “Okay, what’s the plan?”

Lily grinned and smiled coyly “It’s a surprise!”

“Humph.” You fake-glared at Lily “Fine. Don’t tell me.”

Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed your hand, hauling you up off the bed, causing your sketchbook to fall with a thud off your lap and onto the ground.

“Lilu!” You protested as the sketchbook lay open on the ground, showing a page on which you drew Lily’s smiling face.

Lily also stared at the book before saying: “You drew me in your sketchbook?”

You felt heat rush to your face. “Yes..”

Lily grinned “It’s really good!”

“It’s not that good, it’s just a sketch.” You said, rubbing your burning neck in embarrassment.

Lily laughed and patted your shoulder. “Come on, Y/N! You don’t have to be so modest all the time!”

YOu frowned “I’m not being modest! The sketch is not that good!”

Lily sighed “If you say so,”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You followed Lily through the deserted hallways, passing classrooms with class in session, making you feel a little uncomfortable, since you were so used to being one of the first people in the classroom.

Lily walked out of the door, holding it open for you as you followed her out.

“Where are we going?” You asked, jogging to keep up with Lily.

“It’s a surprise!” Lily said, spinning around once excitedly, smiling at you. “Close your eyes~”

You blinked and stared before closing your eyes. “Make sure I don’t bump into anything.”

“Okay!” Lily said. You felt her hand around yours and she pulled you behind her, walking slowly and carefully.

“You can open your eyes now!” Lily said after a few minutes of walking blindly.

You opened your eyes, the light blinding you at first, but as your eyes adapted to the light, you saw a pretty garden, a big water fountain and many multi-colored flowers, green grass cut neatly and small green shrubs lined up perfectly along the cut grass,

“Wow.” You said, looking at the garden with awe in your eyes.

“I know right!” Lily said excitedly, grinning and hopping up and down on her heels.

You nodded and took a second to admire Lily’s smile then turned your attention back to the colorful garden.

“Come onnnn!” Lily gushed, grabbing your hand again and pulling you to a small bench and sitting down. You sat down next to her.

“Why are we here?” You asked LIly after a few seconds of admiring the scenery.

Lily smiled and turned to you, her emerald green eyes gleaming, “It’s called mindfulness, Y/N.”

“Why mindfulness?”

“I think you need it,”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever.”

Lily smiled. “Close your eyes and listen.”

“What?”

“Close your eyes and listen.”

“Why?”

“Just shut up and do it.”

You closed your eyes and listened to your surroundings, hearing the soft buzz of bees, and leaves rustling in the wind.

“What about it?”

“Just listen,” Lily said quietly “It’s called mindfulness.”

You sighed and listened again, thinking of nothing but the calming sounds around you.

After a few minutes of peaceful silence, you felt Lily’s hand on yours. “You can open your eyes now,”

You opened your eyes, feeling refreshed and calm. “I can’t believe that worked.”

Lily rolled her eyes “Do you not trust my mindful exercises?”

“It seemed stupid at first.” You admitted.

“Rude.”

“Whatever.”

Lily laughed and scooted closer to you with a coy smile.

You felt heat rush to your cheeks and your heartbeat quickened by six beats.

Lily noticed your blush and grinned “Why are you blushing?~”

You blushed harder “Uhm..”

LIly smirked “Hmm?”

“It’s- it’s just.. Hot out here, you know?”

“You sure?”

“Y-yea..”

“Mmm, It doesn't feel hot,”

“Maybe it’s just me.” You shrug.

“Look at me, Y/N.”

You turned and looked at Lily’s perfect face, her wavy red hair was flying in the soft morning breeze and her freckles were as perfect as ever, sprinkling her nose and cheeks.

“Yes?” You asked, locking your eyes with her’s.

Lily’s eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips and back to your eyes again in a second, and she smiled.

You tilted your head “Yes?” You repeated, ignoring Lily’s eyes flickering down to your lips from time to time.

“Can I kiss you?” LIly asked finally, looking at her knees, smiling shyly, and tucking her hair behind her ear.

“What?” You looked at Lily with a look of surprise. “Can you what?”

Lily looked up at you, her big green eyes sparking, “Can I kiss you?”

You looked at Lily then smiled “Okay, Evans.”

Lily’s face lit up and she smiled, caressing your forearm. “Thank you, Y/N” She whispered, moving her face closer to yours.

You blushed and put your hand softly onto her’s.

Lily put her hand on your hip and pressed her lips on yours, smiling.

The warm taste of chocolatey sweetness filled your mouth. Your hand went up Lily’s waist and to her neck, brushing your hand through her hair.

Lily pulled away after a few seconds, a warm blush sprinkling her freckled cheeks.

You smiled, also blushing lightly. “Wow..”

Lily grinned and stood up, holding her hand out for you and you took it, grinning.

“I’m going to take you somewhere else.”

“Where?”

“I told you! It’s a secret”

You rolled your eyes “Whatever.”

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lastchancevillagegreen · 2 years

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Saturday, 5 November 2022 (Champaign/ Exile On Main Street):

B-Sides, Demos & Rarities PJ Harvey (Island) (released 4 November 2022)

PJ Harvey fooled us all by releasing one more completely unexpected three disc package to go along with her two year reissue campaign. This a three disc set containing just what it says: B-Sides, demos and rarities but it would be rare if any of these sort of pleasing releases were actually 100% complete. That’s not my purpose of the post to complain, I’m just pointing out they are never fully comprehensive.

That being said, I’m excited by this reissue as it effectively closes her reissue program and starting in January I am going to listen to every single one of her reissues I bought (21 albums and eight CDs not counting this set). I’m looking forward to hearing them and it is looking like she my be my preeminent artist of 2023. (If I finally undertake to do The Wedding Present and Cinerama they may become the lead artist of 2023.)

Above are the following photos: the first shows the cover of the album. This is a four panel gatefold digipak so the second shot reveals what you see when you open the set up the first time. That third photo reveals it in all its glory, when you open up and reveal all four panels. Each panel holds something. The first three contain sleeves which hold a single CD and the fourth panel contains the booklet which gives you track credits. The final photo above shows the back of the album. Below you can see a close up shot of the hype sticker on the cover of the album. This looks exactly like all the other hype stickers on each individual reissue in Harvey’s reissue program.

The next photo shows you the front of all three sleeves which contain the CDs and then the front of the booklet. The first sleeve at top is for Disc 1, then moving right top is Disc 2. The first sleeve at the bottom is for Disc 3 and the booklet is the fourth.

I can assure you I don’t much like the use of white paper as a back ground here. I took individual shorts of each sleeve, front and back, and it looks better but I decided to contain space (otherwise I would have had 17 individual shots for this whole set). So, the mismatched lines of white paper are stuck here for all eternity or until electricity disappears from earth and we are all living on Mars like Ewon Musket believes is going to happen. The next photo below is a sample page of what the booklet looks like.

The final three shots are individual shots of all three CDs. Naturally I start with CD 1 and work down.

Let’s talk about the cover of the set. I find it peculiar and I’ve never encountered such a watermark as this before. The photographer of the cover is Maria Mochnacz who has shot Harvey throughout her career and is responsible for such great album covers and singles as Rid of Me, Man-Size, 50 Foot Queenie, To Bring You My Love (she also shot the video from which that cover is taken, Down By The Water). It took me forever to understand that the writing on Harvey’s face isn’t a foreign word but is instead the name of the photographer of the photo. I am completely unaware if this was actually written on Harvey’s face or if it was placed on there digitally. Once I understood that it was Harvey’s longtime photographer and video director, I began thinking of a variety of ways this was rather funny and a statement about today’s brazen willingness to steal photographs from everyone without consenting credit or even extending credit when due to the photographer. (I have another theory about this as an attack on traditional masculinity but when I wrote out how I came about this theory and then re-read it, it read like a QAnon nuthouse theory and I quickly deleted it. Ask me and I’ll tell you, but I’ll not write it out because the more I think about it the more I do sound slightly off kilter. And no, I’m no QAnon or conservative, I’m a champion left-wing Liberal and damn proud of that fact.) The outcome of all of this is I am starting to like the cover more and more. (My second wife, who I’ve discussed here, despises it but she knows zip about Harvey and less about artist challenges and risks.)

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turtleandbuffalo · 1 year

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A Note to You

It’s been 4 hours since the freeze out. You should be sleeping, but I don’t know if you are. For the past 4 hours I’ve thought of you for probably 3 hrs and 58 minutes of it. I’m already miserable thinking about how I wont be able to express my heart to you.

I want to send you my little blue heart to remind you that I’m thinking of you and loving you, but I know I shouldn’t. I know I can’t.

I’m going to keep looking back at our conversation screenshots and I’ll probably continue to cry about it. Loving you shouldn’t be painful, but right now it is. Chemistry and timing. Why couldn’t this be a different time?? Thinking of us together…. My heart longs for that, for you. There really is no better way to say that.

I want to be with you, but I’m so scared of starting over. What if we end up not even working out? What if you realize I have way more faults than virtues?

It’s been 6 hours now, I just woke up. I think I fell asleep for 45 minutes at the most. I woke up and for half a second I forgot.

But it all came rushing back to me and here I am crying again. I love you… I hope you’re sleeping well..

I’m sitting here alone watching That Thing You Do, I wish I was watching it with you. My head feels so loopy because I didn’t sleep enough today, I feel like all I did was cry. You’re not missing much hun, I’m a mess and you deserve someone who’s in it 100%. I wish I could have been that one for you.

It’s almost 10pm, I wonder if you’re awake.. I came for a drive because Im losing my mind right now, I pulled over to cry. It’s weird how it’s just a normal day to everyone else, but I’m here feeling so empty and alone. I wonder if you’ll leave me on read for a day, two? A week? Longer? It hasn’t even been 12 hours and I miss you so much already.people looked at me as they walked by my car, I think they could hear my sobbing, or maybe they heard me hitting my steering wheel? Maybe I honked and didn’t notice. I hope you respond.

My last three messages to you have been left on read, I’m trying really hard to pretend I’m not completely torn apart on the inside.

It’s 11:26pm I hate this time. Those numbers 11:26 morning or evening, I hate it. And of course that’s when I check my phone for your name. Nothing. No unread messages. You’re probably almost at work. Maybe you’re already there? Are you thinking about me? Because I just wrote seven pages about you. I don’t think I’d ever been that honest and vulnerable before, not even to a sheet of paper. I’ll probably cry myself to sleep tonight. That is if I sleep at all. Goodnight, I love you.

It’s 6/24, 3:30am Im parked at work, I almost didn’t come. I almost went to your work to wait outside for you. I just want to see your face.

6:20 am now, I came to my car for my lunch again. Needed to be alone because all I can think about is you, you’re probably just fine… that’s what you said yesterday morning. You’re too tired to feel ups and downs, did I mean anything to you? Did you just say “I love you” to make me want you more? Lunch is over, I wish I could go to you right now. I’d run to you, I’d jump into your arms and kiss you.

7:00am

I can’t be here, I’m back in the car ready to leave because I couldn’t work the floor without this miserable cloud hanging over me. Should I go to your work to see you? Or should I just let you be?

I feel like I’m always going to love you, like this knot in my throat is never going to go away. It’s 6/24, 9:45am you ignored my call earlier. I’ll leave you alone. I’ll stop writing these messages to no one.

I feel like The Man Who Can’t be Moved.

I love you.

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misskasu · 1 year

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Module 2: Blog Assignment

Today’s digital media diary was slightly different from the one posted about two weeks ago. The first thing I usually do is check my Gmail from both accounts around 7 am. This I decided to bravely kill two birds with one stone finish this blog assignment along with the extra credit today before 7 am unlike my last post.

5:20 am - logged into Canvas. And watched " In a Nutshell Zuboff: surveillance capitalism and Democracy on YouTube, " about a 17-minute video. After watching the video, I better understand how technology has shaped our lives. I also became aware of the potential hazards of data used in our society. I am now more conscious of the importance of data privacy, even if I have nothing to hide.

YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AvtUrHxg8A&ab_channel=AlexandervonHumboldtInstitutf%C3%BCrInternetundGesellschaft

5:40 - 6:10 Read the article "Surveillance Capitalism: What It Is and How It Impacts Democracy" and created a mind map of surveillance capitalism. Started writing an essay on the topic. Developed a thesis statement. Researched more information about this topic. Checked the essay for errors. As part of the essay, I wrote a conclusion and submitted it.

6:10 - I posted the final result online on my Tumblr page.

6:26- Responded to Melissa Radojevic by mentioning that I was aware of the issue of data metrics, and posting at such a young age was a blessing. And since then, I have taken extra steps to protect my personal information. I have also been more conscious of my content. Further, I have taken the necessary steps to ensure that my accounts are private and that I only connect with people I trust.

7: 30- 8:15 AM After I shower, I always start my morning with maintenance. I check my email out as much in the spam and check in with all the clubs and my grandmother. I like to do wordle/digits from the New Times. My Grandmother lives in Michigan, so she almost will Always do it before me and often gives me hints. But today, I finished before she did. I also cleaned out my spam from both email accounts and double-checked assignments from my other classes

10:00 am to 12:30 — Pandora (in the background)

I turn on Pandora working on while I work on today’s blog diary and take a look at the extra credit. I turn on Pandora working on while I work on today’s blog diary and look at the extra credit. I make sure to take breaks every 15 minutes to stretch and clear my head. I review the content I wrote and make any necessary changes. At 12:30, I'm done with the line, almost done polishing, fixing, and editing grammatical mistakes along the image layout before I post on my Tumblr account.

At 12:45, I'm done with the blog and publish it. I take a break to reward myself for a job well done. I grab leftovers for lunch and a cup of water before moving on to my next task with 3 episodes of Flash.

2:00 p.m. — Finished lunch break after watching 3 episodes of Netflix series (in this class, the Flash. No spoilers, please I am only on Season 2, Episode 13 I have binge watching prior to this post). After lunch, I felt energized and ready to finish the remaining tasks for the day. I then took a quick swim to get some fresh air and get back to work!

I finish up at 4:45 p.m. — Revising my to-do list for tomorrow. Some assignments take longer, especially if they are papers or essays with multiple responses to that one assignment.I try to make sure I'm done with the assignments that require a lot more effort before I leave. That way, I don't have to worry about them the next day and can focus on the smaller tasks. If I need more time, I'll stay a bit later.

5:00 p.m. — I check my emails and respond to any urgent messages.

7:30 pm - 9:00 pm - I finish this assignment and prepare for tomorrow. Didn't have time to do my daily night reading.

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keywestlou · 2 years

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KEYS CITIZEN CONTINUES TO INSULT ITS READERS

KEYS CITIZEN CONTINUES TO INSULT ITS READERS - https://keywestlou.com/keys-citizen-continues-to-insult-its-readers/Today is January 6. Two years ago today, the attack on the Capitol occurred. A day of consequence in American history. To be remembered and recalled at the least every January 6. As should December 7. Nothing less than front page news. Unfortunately, out local newspaper the Keys Citizen does not appear to agree. This past December 7, no front page article re Pearl Harbor. Two or four lines in The History section on page 2. A lengthy article buried deep in the paper. Something like page 8, though I cannot recall accurately the page number. On this January 6, the insurrectionist attack on the Capitol has been similarly ignored on the Citizen's front page. The Today in History portion on page 2 devoted several lines to the event. I could not find anything else, though an article might have been found deeper in its 20 odd pages. The Citizen is confusing once one gets through its first 3-4 pages. Why does the Citizen ignore the presentation of major American events? I do not believe it is because the powers to be do not care. Rather I suspect it is money. Key West has roughly 4 employees stationed here. The rest of the Citizen is put together up north somewhere. Money should not be an excuse. How hard is it to write an historical piece. The facts are the same. Rarely change, unless there is a new development. Today's Citizen had 4 articles front page. Means they were considered the most important. They were that 427 Cuban migrants had completed processing at Fort Jefferson in the Dry Tortugas, the photos and biographies of 2 of the several City Manager candidates, and the Mayor's State of the City Address. With the exception of the Mayor's State of the City, the others could have been printed anywhere else. None of the 3 necessarily front page news. Room was available if those in control wanted to prepare and publish a piece involving January 6. Keys Citizen: Time to get your act together! Do your job correctly! Stop cheating your customers! Kevin McCarthy is doing well. He has gotten his ass beat 3 days in a row, Eleven votes and he lost all 11. How many more votes till he sees the handwriting on the wall. He does not have nor ever will have sufficient votes to win. He should withdraw and let the business of the people move on. Embarrassed he will be. No question. However, he brought the pain upon himself. Damar Hamlin is America's newest hero. God bless him! The Lord must be watching over him. He has begun a slow recovery. A class act. His first question when he came to: Did we win? His football playing days are over. Should be. If he continues, he's crazy. He can still enjoy his chosen profession as a coach. He will rise through the ranks rapidly. I screwed up the Steve Thompson story about the Boat Bar yesterday. Sorry Steve, sorry one and all. In defense, Steve's early years in Key West were exciting and successful. I got his successes muddled. In the 1970's, Steve had 3 taco stands in Key West. All successful. He was making money. The Boat Bar was not next to the taco stand he owned across the street from Sloppy Joe's. My mistake. It was located at 503 Duval. Across the street from the Kress building which became the home for years of Fast Buck Freddie's. Next door at 501 Duval was the location of Steve's taco stand I wrote about yesterday. It sat on the corner of Duval and Fleming. Today the home of Banana Republic. Around the corner on Fleming was the West Key Bar. Yes, the West Key Bar. Not the Key West Bar. I think I have it correct finally. Hopefully. It's not always easy folks! There is a great white shark swimming around the Seven Mile Bridge. A lot known about the great white. Her name Sable. She was tagged last year by Ocreach. Ergo, she "pings." The last time Sable's presence was noted was November. She was swimming off Cape Cod. She is now in the Keys having traveled down seeking warm waters. Sable is 10 1/2 feet and weighs 800 pounds. Syracuse/Virginia basketball tomorrow night at 5 pm. Virginia ranked #11, Syracuse unranked. Syracuse however has won 7 of its last 8 games. A Syracuse victory would place them in the top 25. Too bad Dr. McIvor passed on. He was a Virginia grad. We would have been talking about the game this week. Blood tests at the hospital yesterday afternoon. The Tampa doctor who performed the parathyroid surgery on me in July is doing some follow up work. Two calcium blood tests. Enjoy your day!

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whatdoesshedotothem · 2 years

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x Thursday 15 November 1832

7 ¼

11 10

fine morning F49 ½° at 7 ½ am a cross last night thinking of π- - lighted the fire in my room 1st time this season - breakfast with my father at 8 ½ in about ¾ hour - then had Pickles - let him the filling up of the old course of the brook at 6d. per square yard on the stuff carted from the old Wakefield road to Breakneck - he had spoken to Washington about it who said it was only worth 5d. a yard - but the old brook course is to be filled up - the brushes stubbed trees left standing and all the space made into land. Remembering that W- had said Pickles could only just ‘have made wage’ of the wearing, thought he might as well have his price filling up - besides I do not think it too much - draining done at Lower Place at 1/3 and some of the most difficult at 1/6 per wood by Pickles 28 roods stone for which carted by George Naylor, and 78 roods stone carted by Dodgson =196 roods. Washington has let the draining required in the old brook-course (to bring water to the new cut) to Pickles at 2/. a rood P- to cart the stones - some driving required [on] the new Lower bread road P- can get it done at 3/. a yard about 60 yards of it - the road commoners ought to do this - came to my room (after being 10 minutes or ¼ hour with my aunt) at 10 ½ - Letter from M- (Lawton) - 1 ½ p. hurried - written from her bed having tumbled over a box and hurt her right ankle the night before, and having had a great deal of pain from it, took 30 drops of laudanum which kept her in bed late - She must get up for company General Glegg, Mr Worthington, Mr Hill, next day i.e. today Swetenhams etc then Wilbrahams etc quite impossible to come here not but perhaps may come just before going to Leamington - will write again in a few days - God bless you my dearest Fred believe me always truly and affectionately yours MPL a letter to disappoint me after such an one as my last but I care not much about it it helps to wear away the tenderness excited by her last but one and ‘tis as well I am already indifferent again about her coming wrote the above of today till 11 5 - reading over letters to answer - from 11 ½ to 1 20 wrote 2 full ½ sheets to Lady Stuart - from 1 ½ to 3 ¾ wrote 3 pages (close) to Vere - from 4 to 6 wrote 2 full ½ sheets to lady Stuart de R- my letters to the two ladies Stuart nice easy well done chit chat more so to lady S- de R- than I feel to have ever written before ending with I am really quite alarmed at the number of interrogation I see so thickly thrown up on my paper I shall really think it very good of you if you answer any of them I hope you are no longer under any uneasiness for the health of Lord Hardwicke believe me my dear Lady Stuart very truly you A Lister tell lady S- de T- the letter she enclosed for me was a rather odd one of Mrs (Honourable) Leicester Stanhope respecting my courier, Bado, quite contradicting the good character her husband had thought proper to give him - apologize to Lady S- for returning Vere’s letters before - waited for the present conveyance with the shawl I hoped would keep her warm in the carriage - a new manufacture invented by a man near her whose name, however slept, is pronounced Ootram - so busy for a great house in London glad I had not to wait longer - made of the hair of the Atacama lama - nice long letter to Vere - ‘It is quite a treat to me, my dearest Vere, to sit down and fancy I am going to have a little-talk with you - I shall not calculate how long it is since I did so last, because it is not my fault that I have not done it again sooner, and wrath again myself not against you, is the only wrath there even can be between you and me. I should forgive you anything, even if I had anything to forgive, but that you have taken 2 months instead of one to write me such a nice little letter in, so no wonder, all things fairly considered’ - more anxious about her now on account of not knowing how the news of her beau pères’ death would affect her plans - ‘Surely you would not hurry across the Alps at this season of the year - the very thought of it would make me uneasy - you know that my regard for you

SH:7/ML/E/15/0149

is not the creature of mere words, and therefore words are not necessary to persuade you of its affection anxiety’ - conclude with ‘Surely the news would reach you before the 5th, that you would not have set off for Rome or Naples I can and do feel for you (Supposing Donald obliged to leave her) you may at all times count upon my sympathy, be it in pleasure or in pain - none will feel in your welfare an interest more anxious or more true than your affectionate AL’ - Sent off at 8 ½ box containing the Atacama-lama-hair shawl directed to the ‘Honourable Lady Stuart, Richmond Park, Surrey’ and within in envelope to ‘the Honourable Lady Stuart, Richmond Park’ the 2 half sheets full to herself and Vere’s 2 letters returned and letter 3 pages and ends and under the seal to ‘The Lady Vere Cameron’ and the 2 half sheets full in a separate envelope to the ‘Lady Stuart de Rothesay’ - told them all of my aunt’s being so much recovered I was no longer uneasy about her and hoped to be off in January - from 8 ½ to 9 ½ wrote 3 pages and ends to Mrs Norclifffe - chitchat - not knowing what to do about a groom - ask her to advise and beg her to write before being off to Bath if but a line or 2, and as soon as she can after arriving that I may know where to find her - mention having engage Eugenie, and hoping to be off in January - thanks for all her kindness in inviting me to Langton and Bath - must spend my Xmas here - congratulations to Esther, and hope she is ever more happy than she expected to be - went downstairs at 9 35 - and came upstairs again at 10 ¼ at which hour F51 ½° - fine day – feel very bilious tonight perhaps from sitting all the day at my desk

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wannabevampire · 3 years

Note

Currently thinking about Matt being super soft with his girl when he can tell she’s getting overwhelmed? Like you know when you drop too far and you don’t even realise… he’s pounding her and she’s incoherently babbling his name, his honorific (sir/daddy/etc) and please, hands reaching for him, tears streaking down her face as her heart races… he can tell she’s losing control and is overstimulated, but not in a good way and not like the other times because she’s slipped too far. He immediately stops and pulls out and she cries harder because she thinks she’s done something wrong but he shushes her, cradling her face in his hands. There’s guilt flooding his mind; how did he not notice that she was losing control? He kisses her forehead and nose and cheeks and says he’s sorry if he went too far, tells her in his softest stern dom voice that she’s done, that she did such a good job for him but now daddy’s going to take care of her.

he is SO gentle?? He’ll clean her up, give her a nice little head and shoulder massage after he washes her hair to make her purr as he eases the knots out of her sore muscles, turns on her favourite soft/soothing playlist or feel-good movie. He makes sure she’s fed and hydrated as he cuddles her to sleep, stroking her hair and comforting her when she gets all weepy, making sure that she stays close to him so she feels safe

Matthew, I love you.

( angry protective man with blanket!!!!! )

☆~ head canon blurb thing!!!!

note: this is pretty self indulgent hopefully you guys like it! also, i wrote this at 4 am and i’m running on 3 hours of sleep so my deepest apologies is this makes no sense lol

okay FUCK THE HIATUS this shit is so perfect i love your mind nonnie

him being like this is literally everything i need in life i’m so whduebwjd

okay so:

1. this is just such an accurate description of how i think he would react

2. this makes me feel like he would be so good at helping me through my ptsd episodes and i want that so bad🥺 okay sorry we got a little bit too real for a second there-

Matt putting his foot down and telling you you’re done and then immediately going full soft dom mode and taking care of you like his life depends on it.

he would really discretely turn both your phones off, because he knew that the second your alarms rang or texts buzzed you would feel super guilty and pretend like you were fine. A fact that he knew would be untrue. He knew you and your stubborn attitude and knew that one you set your mind to pretending to be fine you would stick with it.

He also knew that the two of you needed a day off. Whatever Foggy had to tell him could wait, so could any complaints your boss had waiting for you.

He’d try to make the room dark and comfortable for you, a task which you helped him with obviously. (which was weirdly perfect because it gave you something to focus on for a brief period of time without it feeling forced)

the next day once you were feeling a bit better he would set up some things for the two of you to do. Small stuff! making box brownies, cross word puzzles he pulled from the morning paper.

(he removed the main pages, no need for you to be worrying about the world today. He learned to count the sections so he knew which pages were in the ‘Art’ category. You’d read him the clues during breakfast and the two of you would lazily try to solve them. On particularly tuff puzzle days you’d both end up realizing the answer at random times during the day, shouting out the answers while you fumbled for the folded piece of paper and scribbled down your guesses. Sometimes they’d be spot on. Other times you’d end up so frustrated all you could do was laugh at the way you both scowled at the little boxes just -one- letter away from being a perfect fit.

He could help himself from throwing in some not so occasional praise whenever you got one right.

“Atta girl.”

“That’s my smart girl.”

“Good girl sweetheart.”

He would set you up with your favorite movie and enough blanket, pillows, and stuffed animals to make you a little cave to hide in on the couch. He make you your favorite meal for dinner while you lay cuddled up on the couch. Because as much as you wanted to stay connected with him 95% of the time, there was always that 5% when you just needed to be alone.

At first this confused him, how you cling to him like you never wanted to leave one second. And retreat away from his touch the text? Eventually he learned more and tried his very best to make you as comfortable as possible.

Once you felt more than ready you’d call Matt over. He’d drop whatever he was doing (safely and within reason) and would be at your side cuddling you within seconds.

“missed you.”

You mumbled into his chest and nuzzled further into his touch.

“I’m right here sweetheart, I’ll always be here.”

He whispered softly, kissing the top of your head.

“Promise?”

You asked, your voice quiet and unsteady.

Matt brought his hand up to your chin, tilting your head up so you could see the earnest expression on his face-and so he could kiss you as soon as the words left his mouth.

“I Promise. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be with you wherever you go even if I can’t be at your side, I’ll be with you.”

He said, his voice soft but strong. His words spoken with such poetic assuredness that it made you tear up a bit as your lips met and the two of you tried to convene as many unspoken confessions to each other as you possibly could.

the feeling of his skin against yours as you mindlessly traced his scars.

the sound of his sighs of content

the way he cared for you.

and the words ‘I love you’

truer words had never been spoken than then endless whispers of:

Matthew, I love you.

…（╹◡╹）♡ …

oh my god? this is so soft? what is happening. this is so self indulgent sorry guys!

fun fact: I LOVE doing the cross word and I’ve been doing them since I was a kid. I would sit around the breakfast table and read the clues aloud to my parents. Partially to blame for the weirdly specific collection of words that is my english vocabulary! Now I just do them by myself or occasionally force my friends to work on them with me. But I would literally die to do this with Matt I feel like he’d be such a good puzzle partner 💞

xoxo,

allie🕊

#ask answered! <3 #matt murdock #matt murdock headcanon #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock x female reader #matt murdock x reader #i need vodka and a hug!

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toru-oikawas-milkbread · 3 years

Text

A Month | Week 3

Pairing: Atsumu Miya x f!reader

Prompt/summary: Starting off week 3 of your husbands desperate attempt to keep you in his life, you were slowly starting to give in. Starting to cave and even starting to trust the man again— though you were still apprehensive, you found it hard to be angry. With love letters and effort that Atsumu hadn’t ever made in the past finally put in to help you rather than make you feel lonely, you couldn’t help but looking at your name signed on the divorce papers and thoroughly rethink everything. Was divorce what you wanted after all?

Word count: 6.9K

Warnings/contents: Continued angst and conflicted feelings, fluff, mild language, pining/longing feelings

Notes: @icelyn20 I have part 3 now! I hope that you like this chapter. You’ve talked the others up so much I’m afraid that I may not impress 😅 nevertheless, this story is so much fun to write! Part 4 hasn’t quite been started, so it may take longer than the others to come out unless I get a burst of energy to write the story and have little ideas, but I’ll get the last two chapters done as soon as I can 💛

Part 1 {Week 1} | Part 2 {Week 2} | Part 3 {current chapter} | Part 4 {Week 4} | Pt.5 {Week 5}

<>~<>~<>

Wednesday, September 15th

Today, you were free from work, but Atsumu wasn’t. You slept in a bit, lazily reaching for your phone when your alarm went off, but sitting up when you felt a small piece of paper on top of it that you were certain you didn’t leave there. With a yawn, you brought your phone and the paper over, looking at it and squinting as you rubbed your other eye. Still half-asleep, it took you a moment to comprehend the words there and the single ‘1’ marked in the top corner of the page.

“I still think that you look as pretty as you always have when you’re sleeping” was wrote in Atsumu’s familiar handwriting. It made you flush a bit as you set the note down and headed for the bathroom. You kept thinking about the words and giving a little smile yet again as you flipped the bathroom light on, though audibly speaking when there was another note.

“Oh,” you said, grabbing it and flushing yet again as you saw the paper, noticing the ‘2’ marked in the upper corner in a similar place as the ‘1’ from the last page by your bed.

“When we were younger I used to daydream about living with you. I didn’t think it’d be quite as fun to do mundane things like brushing our teeth together as it ended up being.” Again, the little note had flustered you as you re-read it a second time. Atsumu wasn’t downright unromantic, in fact he had always been a pretty romantic guy— but this? This was new. Atsumu had only given you small things, he’d never deliberately wrote things like this down that he liked about you and it left you flushed.

Wondering if you might find more, you opened the drawer where you kept your toothbrush and found yet another note.

“One time, I almost used your toothbrush instead of mine when I was tired. I never told you because I was embarrassed, but we don’t keep secrets. With that being said, I trust you more than enough to let you know every little stupid thing I do on the daily and know you won’t make fun of me for it. Because you’re kind. Because you’re selfless and that was what hooked me after all.” After a soft laugh at his confession, you walked from the bathroom and to the kitchen.

Atsumu knew your daily routine because he’d lived with you a long time and the little things you did stuck, so as you opened up the cabinet for your medicine, you saw another note.

“I’m glad that you take vitamins to take care of yourself. I may not always be the best at telling you, but I love you and I care about you. More than I’ve ever cared about anything and I wish nothing but you to live longer than me because I’d hate to be alive without you.” You turned, opening the fridge and finding another note. “You went to the fridge before the cabinet? That’s unusual of you.” A laugh came from you as you looked at the note. “Just kidding, you probably didn’t deter from your routine,” flushing because of the confirmation that Atsumu truthfully did know your routine, you fondly read the little note. “Make sure that you drink enough water today. Take care yourself for both you and me.”

Excitedly, you turned and opened the cabinet where you got your water glass and saw another little note that you took out and read.

“I was thinking last night, but it didn’t take me long to come up with several answers to this question: what do I love the most about you? The first few are simple. Your smile, the way that you make me laugh and the way you make me smile by simply laughing on your own. The way that your smile instantly makes me happy and I feel home when I look at you,” admittedly, as you read his words, you teared up a bit. “But what else do I love about you? I love how patient you are with me. I love that you smile at strangers and you hold doors for old people. I love that you play with your fingers when you’re anxious and how you look when you let your hair down and type or write something down. You’re so beautiful inside and out and every day you have me falling for you more and more. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and I couldn’t have been a more lucky guy this whole time. Sorry it took me this long to realize it.” You had to flip though 3 different notes as you read it, giving a chuckle at how Atsumu was predictable and only wrote on one side of the small paper rather than both and you couldn’t help but adoring it.

You leaned against the counter, re-reading all of the little notes and chewing on the inside of your cheek as you did. It wasn’t often that Atsumu was this good with words, but you couldn’t help but admiring how thoughtful he could be when he really tried. With a sigh, you went to the living room with low hopes of there being anything else, but shocking you when there was a note beside the last few pieces of your puzzle.

When you picked it up, you smiled at the last few words you’d hear from the man until tonight.

“I love you and I can’t wait to come home to you every day for the rest of my life so long as you’ll let me.”

Thursday, September 16th

Today was a bad day. You were having a full-on breakdown and unfortunately, your boss was getting the brunt of it. She had stared at you with wide eyes as you sobbed in front of her— hard, hard like you hadn’t sobbed in months, but you couldn’t care. The only thing that you cared about was being home and away from that hotel and away from the guests who looked at you like you were crazy, to be alone in your apartment thinking it would make it better— which it didn’t. Instead you were still sad, sobbing at damn near every single thing and feeling pathetic yet unable to stop yourself.

You were on your period. Your back hurt, your head hurt, you were craving food— anything and everything, and yet nothing sounded good. So pathetically, you ate ice cream and sniffled as you watched tv. You weren’t sure what was happening in this movie, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was that it wasn’t hurting your feelings.

Just as whom you’d thought the good guy who was secretly the bad guy all along was unveiling his plan of attack, the front door opened. Not wanting Atsumu to see you this way despite knowing that he’d know immediately that you had been crying, you rubbed your watery eyes in hopes of hiding it.

“Hey, yer easy to find tonight,” he said with a little chuckle that went away as he looked at you around the sofa. “Are ya alright?” With a quiet sniffle, you rubbed your eyes.

“I’m fine.”

“What’s the matter?” He asked gently, sitting on the sofa with you. Slightly worried that, like he’d done before, Atsumu might laugh at you for being this upset over mundane things, you didn’t want to admit what was wrong, but you didn’t really want to lie either. After all, he’d been so good lately. He hadn’t let you down once and this was only another step further. After all, if he acted like he always did instinctually then it may help you sever the ties that held you so tightly to him. Fiddling with your fingers, you gave another sniffle and set the ice cream aside with a sigh.

“I’m on my period.” You were expecting a laugh, maybe one stifled beneath his breath, but instead Atsumu only gave a soft “Oh” as he gently placed a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” He said, shocking you into looking at him. “Can I do anything to help ya?” Confused and yet relieved, but also torn, you shrugged. “How about a shower?”

“I don’t want to shower,” you mumbled as you looked down. Atsumu seemed to think for a moment before he came up with an alternative to help you out.

“How about if ya shower with me?” He asked. In the past the two of you showered together frequently, though not since the fight and even a little before that. On that note, you never wanted to shower with Atsumu when it was your time of the month unless you’d been desperate to have sex and he had always easily agreed to sex in the shower no matter if you were bleeding or not. “I can wash yer hair and take care of you.” Shocking the man, you hesitantly nodded. “Okay. Meet me in there when yer ready, I’m gonna go get the water warmed up.” He said, standing.

He couldn’t help but smile a bit as he headed for the bathroom and turned the water on. You agreeing to this had made him happy since he assumed his advances were going to go ignored. Was this the first real step towards your forgiveness?

Not long after Atsumu stripped his clothes off and tossed them in the dirty hamper, you made your way into the bedroom. He sent you a little smile as he took his boxers off while you hesitantly took your own clothes off before looking at the shower. Not wanting to discomfort you further now, Atsumu went ahead and stepped into the shower, only stealing one glance at you as you stripped your underwear off and rubbed your eyes as you sat on the toilet.

Truth be told, he felt bad for you. He always felt bad for you this time of the month, but he never knew what to do. As hard as he was trying now, Atsumu hadn’t always been the best at handling emotions of any kind, even his own, so with all of yours this time of the month, he was often stumped and had before neglected you— something he deeply regretted now. He’d seen the shock on your face and it had made him feel guilty with every time you looked at him that way. Every time you were surprised he did something as little as make breakfast or start the coffee pot. Things he had done when the two of you first got together.

Had he really gotten that bad? He hadn’t even realized how little you must have thought that he cared about you nowadays and it tore him up inside. It hurt him to think that you could have hurt by such little and yet important actions he didn’t even realize he was neglecting.

So when you stepped into the shower with him, he sent you a smile and stepped out of the way for you.

“You take all the time ya need, I’ll get some shampoo ready.” He said, having not bothered to wash anything on himself yet and instead stood beneath the warm water thinking; you brought a hand up to your eyes and rubbed them with a nod as you got beneath the warm water. Atsumu squirted a bit of your shampoo onto his fingers while you wet your hair beneath the warm water and gave a little sigh.

“Okay,” you said, taking a small step closer to the man who reached over and started to gently massage the shampoo into your hair. He gave your scalp a massage, making you subconsciously lean closer to the man as he helped cure your headache after sobbing a good majority of the day away. It had been— you weren’t even sure exactly how long— since Atsumu had washed your hair for you in the shower and massaged your head this nicely, but you were damn near putty in his hands the second his knuckles massaged the base of your head.

Keeping your eyes closed and leaning close to the man, you thought that in this moment you’d let him do anything that he wanted to you and almost forgot about how angry you’d been with him lately; maybe it was that he was actually putting in effort, that he was showing you he could care and he could try, or maybe it was because he was taking care of you for once lately, but you couldn’t help wanting to lean into the man that you’d always been so certain you wanted to spend your life with.

“Is it too much?” He asked quietly, not minding giving your head a massage in the slightest though worrying about hurting you. Though you gave a soft “Hmn-mm” in response to his words and eased his worries. Atsumu was a rather strong man after all, and you were on the more delicate side of the scale. The last thing he’d want to do while trying to help you and win you back over would be hurting you after all.

After a nice long, warm shower with the man that was amazingly relaxing, innocent and quiet as he spoke in such a soft and gentle tone, you were comfortably wrapped up in a blanket with sweatpants, thick socks and a thin shirt on. You laid in your comfortable bed, the blinds shut and no sound in the room aside from Atsumu softly shuffling around. For a moment you thought that you could fall asleep— that was until you felt a dip in the bed as Atsumu sat down.

“Here, this might help ya.” Atsumu said, bringing you a cool washcloth. “Can I put it on for ya?” You gave a small nod and closed your eyes as he carefully reached over to drape the cool cloth over your eyes. “Let me know if ya need anything else, I’m gonna start dinner.” He said, nearly reaching for your hand or moving to give your forehead a kiss but stopping himself. Instead, after a moment of hesitancy, he got off of the bed and walked out of the room.

You couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed you hadn’t felt his lips on your skin before he left.

Friday, September 17th

A severe weather watch was on the side of Japan that you lived in as it poured outside; the wind was whipping harshly through the trees and making the building give nerve-wracking creaks as it blew harshly outside; your co-worker winced as the door blew open harshly when the nightshift workers slowly started to filter inside, soaked or panting as they had run from their cars. You smiled slightly as your replacement night manager struggled to close the door behind him and looked at you.

“It’s crazy out there.” He said, walking over, seemingly out of breath.

“It sounds like it.” You said, looking at the window with a soft sigh. “I hate driving in weather like this.” You mumbled, but before you could even say anything else, your phone rang. You were a bit surprised as you looked down to see Atsumu’s contact, answering it and quickly bringing the phone to your ear. “Hello?”

“Hey, are ya still at the hotel?” He asked, clearly driving through the rain as he spoke to you.

“Yeah— why are you on the phone with me while you’re driving in this weather?” You asked, thinking of scolding the man.

“Yer on speaker,” he promised. “Listen, I don’t want ya drivin’ home alone in this weather.” He said, making your entire body seem to relax, something that didn’t go unnoticed by your daily replacement as he stole a quick look at you while putting his jacket on. “I’m gonna come pick ya up. We can get your car from the hotel tomorrow.”

“Okay,” you agreed easily, not wanting to drive in this weather to begin with; Atsumu picking you up during a bad storm certainly was not unheard of. Not because he didn’t trust your driving, in fact he’d mentioned it before; he said that he knew you could drive well enough, but he preferred to know personally that you made it home safe. Before it had made you flush and now it was relieving to you. “Drive safe.” You said, making the man give a little smile.

“I promise. I’ll be there in just a few minutes.” And with that, he hung the call up. You looked to your daily co-worker who was already looking at you.

“What?”

“Atsumu picking you up?” He asked, no sense of emotion and yet a familiar and teasing tone lingering. But as soon as you nodded, he laughed. “I knew it— no good husband would let their spouse drive home in this weather.” He said it so simply as if he had won a bet with himself, but it had made you think back to even before tonight. The other times that Atsumu had picked you up to ensure your safety had always made you feel special. It was another little thing to add to your pro’s list, you thought. Even when the two of you had argued in the past, Atsumu had always picked you up when the weather was bad. Even when the drive home was painfully silent and awkward, he always told you he wanted to know you got home safe and came to pick you up.

It was a thought that made a bit of a smile twitch onto your lips as you looked down and shrugged.

“I guess so.” You said.

“Look, I’d stay until you left if I could, but I gotta get home— my sister-in-law is coming into town tomorrow and I gotta pick her up at the airport at 4 in the morning.” You winced and looked at the man who didn’t sound happy in the slightest— either to see his sister-in-law or to go to the airport at 4 in the morning.

“Wow, drive safe.” You said, making the man give a raise of his eyebrows.

“Thanks.” Was all he said, grabbing his bag and sighing as he walked towards the door. Your replacement manager yawned as he leaned comfortably against the counter beside you.

“Something going on with you and Atsumu?” The man asked, overhearing your conversation and not missing the chance to speak to you; of course, this only assured you that the co-worker you mentioned these things to had been so trustworthy all this time— since he wasn’t spreading gossip, even though you knew that he wouldn’t do something like that. You sent the man a tight little smile and shook your head.

“Just a tiff this morning. Nothing bothersome.” You said simply, not wanting the man who you were certain has loose lips of his own to have the knowledge of your argument with Atsumu a little over two weeks ago. After all, how closely he leaned to you, you couldn’t help but lean back a bit. The man had never kept his attraction to you silent even after finding out about Atsumu.

“Well, you know, if Atsumu ever steps out of line, we do work at a hotel. Would he notice you missing for a few hours?” Raising an eyebrow with a soft chuckle as to not anger the man who you knew little about since you didn’t work with him frequently, you nodded.

“I’m certain of it.” Before he could say anything else, the door to the hotel opened and you saw Atsumu walking in with a shake of his head. “Ah, there he is,” you said, grabbing your bag and looking at the man with another stiff smile. “Goodbye,” he gave a soft hum, watching as you walked over to the man who sent you a little smile.

“Hey,” he said simply, flushing a bit and shocked when you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Come on,” you said, grabbing his hand as he looked at you with an undeniably confused look on his face. “You came inside.” You said quietly, shocked and looking at the man who cleared his throat and tried to brush off what you had done— or rather what you were doing with your hand in his.

“Yeah, I, uh— I wanted to make sure ya got to my car safe.” He said, peeking outside and sighing. “Ready to get all wet?” You looked outside and shrugged.

“Better than being in here.” You said, walking outside with the mans hand still in your own even as he looked at you confused. The two of you hurried to his car that was close to the building thankfully. He unlocked it, opening your door for you before going over to the drivers side and getting into the car with a huff.

“Brr!” He said, making you give a small laugh as he started the car. Thankfully, it was still relatively warm inside of the car since he’d had the heat on during the drive here. “Ya really wanted to leave work tonight, huh?” He asked, stealing a quick glance over at you while you buckled your seatbelt.

“I don’t like being alone with guys who aren’t you.” You said simply.

“What, does that guy in there creep ya out or something?” Atsumu asked with a soft chuckle, but when you were quiet, he looked back at you before pulling out of the spot. “Does he?”

“He just doesn’t pretend like he’s not attracted to me despite me being with you and all. It’s nothing bad, he’s never done anything but verbally flirt with me.” Atsumu gave a small frown and pulled from the tight parking space carefully. “He just weirds me out.”

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing ya don’t have to work with him much.” He said, a little furrow of his eyebrows as he looked back at you.

“I couldn’t agree more.”

Saturday, September 18th

This morning you’d woken up with a pounding in your head that you hadn’t felt so bad since the last time that you had been sick, making you groan and turn to face Atsumu’s side of the bed away from the sun coming in through the window. You buried your face into the pillows, alerting the man beside you that you were awake and stealing him from his elaborately detailed daydream that he was concocting of you being snuggled against his side once again. He looked at you, a small frown on his face as he sat up on his elbows.

“Are ya okay, (y/n).” You gave a soft shake of your head against the pillows that he’d just barely caught. “What’s the matter?”

“My head kills,” you mumbled out in scratchy tone. “Throat hurts.” Was all you were able to mutter out.

“Uh-oh, sounds like yer gettin’ sick.” He said and it earned a soft groan from you— as loud as you could give with how sore your throat was feeling today. “Can ya speak? Maybe you shouldn’t— let yer throat heal.” He got out of the bed suddenly. “Hang on, I’ve got somethin’ that’ll help ya.” He said, walking out of the bedroom in his pajamas and leaving you alone, sniffling against the pillow and trying to sleep yet being unable to with the killer headache.

You laid there for awhile, struggling to breathe but not wanting to move away from the pillows and covers in fear of the blinding light giving you an even worse headache.

“Hey, I’m gonna put a blanket up over this window, alright?” Atsumu spoke as he walked into the room, shocking you and making you give a little jump. A soft sound of confirmation to show you heard him came from you as he draped a blanket over the window, holding it in place with a small tack on each side so that it didn’t fall down. “Alright, that’s better.” He flipped on the bedside lamp on his side and looked to you. “It’s much darker in here now if ya want to sit up.” Slowly, you lifted your head, still squinting as any form of light was blinding in this moment. “I’ll be back in just a minute,” he promised before leaving you alone in the room.

Sitting up and leaning back against the bed frame, you sighed and rubbed your tired eyes. Only now did you sniffle and realize how congested you really were. With a huff as you couldn’t smell damn near anything, you wondered what Atsumu was doing in the kitchen. You’d have been surprised if there weren’t eggs coming soon, after all you had breakfast from the man that he had made every single weekend without fail now and often times on weekdays as well. It was more than he’d done in such a long time, but this morning you didn’t want eggs and you didn’t know how to choke them down as to not hurt his feelings.

Your eyes burned, something you reached back for with a huff. You were tired, but with how badly your head hurt, even if it was darker in the room now, you knew that you weren’t going to be able to sleep. Rubbing your nose and reaching for a Kleenex, you were shocked when Atsumu walked into the room with a tray that had a bowl on it. He sent you a smile and carefully set it down on your lap when you glanced at it.

“I made soup.” He said, straightening back up. You looked at the man, at a loss for words for more reasons than because of your sore throat, but before you could even try and speak, he did. “I’m gonna get ‘Samu and we’ll get your car from the hotel so it isn’t just sittin’ there all weekend. I’ll be back soon. Call me if ya need anything before I come home. I can bring ya home some lunch from ’Samu or anywhere else if yer hungry.” He said, walking to his closet to quickly change into a pair of jeans and a plain blue shirt. He got his keys and wallet before sending you a little smile. “Feel better. Text me if ya decide that ya want something.” He said as he turned to leave the room.

You looked back to the soup, taking the little spoon with a smile and scooping some broth onto it. You blew gently on it as Atsumu opened and shut the front door to let you know he was leaving. The soup tasted fantastic and simple as you brought it to your mouth, knowing it was a mere canned soup and yet feeling special that he’d brought it to you. After all, since he had plans this morning with Osamu, he would normally have simply wished you well and left with a kiss to the forehead or even nothing if he worried he might get sick.

Snuggling back against the pillows as you brought more of the broth to your mouth, you gave a soft sigh.

Atsumu really was making it difficult for you to be angry with him.

Sunday, September 19th

Thankfully for you, after all of the rest you got yesterday, you were feeling much better today, therefor you’d been out of bed for most of the day. Atsumu was home with you and the two of you were tidying up together. He was getting all of the laundry together and ready while you dusted everything down. You couldn’t even remember the last time that you’d done chores with Atsumu, instead either picking things up on your own or doing your own chores alone while Atsumu did his chores alone on his own time.

Peeking over, you saw the man who brought one of the laundry baskets that was filled with dirty clothes and sheets out of the bedroom and set it down on the floor. He sent you a quick smile and leaned against the wall while you dusted the television off.

“It’s lookin’ so clean,” he said with a soft sigh in relief. “Do ya want me to vacuum when I get home so ya don’t have to?”

“You don’t have to, I’m capable.” You said, sniffling as you turned away from the air around the television and looked at the man. “Are you leaving now?”

“Just a couple of minutes,” he said, bringing the basket over to the door and getting his car keys. “Maybe one day…” He stopped himself, giving a light shake of his head. You hesitated over his silence before softly frowning.

“Maybe one day what?” Atsumu seemed to hesitate as well before finally speaking.

“I was gonna say maybe one day we might live somewhere with a washer and dryer.” He said it almost too soft for you to hear, something that made your chest seem to ache for him. He seemed quick to shake it off and send you another smile, though it was a rather shaky one. “I’ll be back soon,” he opened the door and grabbed the basket, but before he could leave, you spoke up.

“Can I go?” He looked at you in shock, but nodded nevertheless.

“If ya want to.” You set the duster down, walking over to the man and putting your shoes on. He looked at you a few times as the two of you walked out of the apartment and down the stairs towards the car. You held the keys, locking the door for the two of you and opening the backseat door of the car so he could put the other basket into the car. “Are ya gonna drive or do ya want me to?” He asked. You held out the keys for him and shrugged.

“It doesn’t matter to me, you can drive if you want.” He took the keys gently from you and opened your side of the car door. You sent him a small smile and got into the car with a soft thanks towards the man. He started the car while you put your seatbelt on and comfortably relaxed against the seat. You stole a quick glance at Atsumu, finding yourself admiring his side-profile for a moment too long as he started to pull out of the parking lot. You couldn’t help it, looking down at your lap and chewing on your bottom lip as he drove the two of you the rather short distance to the laundromat. You shifted on the seat, looking out of the window and thinking back to the last time the two of you had gone to a laundromat together. It was the week the two of you moved in together, it was late and the two of you were almost the only ones in the building and you remembered having so much fun with him every time you went together. Despite it being only a laundromat, Atsumu made it fun.

You wondered if today would be as fun as others. It was a Sunday, so you knew that it was going to be rather crowded. With how tense things seemed to be between the two of you lately, you wondered if he would even really want to talk to you. Fiddling with your fingers, you stole another quick look at the man who didn’t do so much as look over at you. You knew that he was most likely just off in his own mind as he always was, not angry and not sad. He was just there, taking care of how he drove on the slightly slippery pavement after it rained this morning.

“Atsumu?”

“Hm?” You hesitated for a moment before shaking your head.

“Nothing, just… thinking. Sorry, never mind.” You mumbled, looking at your lap. With a frown in confusion, Atsumu looked at you for the first time since he started driving.

“Are ya okay?”

“Yeah, just thinking, really.”

“Care to share?” He asked gently. It was clear he was being friendly, trying to seem approachable so that you didn’t spook or get annoyed with him. You thought for a moment before shaking your head.

“I’ll tell you when my mind is more clear.” Atsumu nodded and carefully turned the corner.

“Any time yer ready, I’m here for ya.”

Monday, September 20th

The stars were amazingly bright in the sky tonight, something to look at as your tired eyes were heavy yet you were unable to find that peace in order to sleep. Thinking constantly and dealing with several conflicts at once, all you wanted was to curl against Atsumu’s body and hide your face in his chest like you used to.

Instead, since you were unable to cuddle against the man you once used to seek comfort in, you were sitting on the sofa by the window, watching the sky with great interest. You weren’t looking for answers in the constellations, instead searching for a distraction. Something to put you to sleep. Ou thought that Atsumu was sleeping peacefully in the other room, completely unaware that you were sitting on the sofa alone in the middle of the night with too much on your mind. Every day, you looked at the stack of divorce papers signed with your name purely because you had to— because they were in plain sight.

At first it seemed like a good idea, leaving them someplace where Atsumu could see them every day as well. Back when you swore up and down divorce was what you wanted. Back when you thought life couldn’t get more confusing than wanting to divorce your best friend.

With a yawn, you rubbed your tired eyes, shifting on the sofa. While it was usually comfortable and enjoyable to sit on, tonight your butt was sore as if your body was yelling at you to sleep because you were so tired that your body simply hurt. Thinking of every possible angle of this relationship as you had been doing for awhile now— for over a week now. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you fiddled with your fingers and looked down at your hands.

What was most on your mind now? Missing Atsumu. You missed him unlike any other time that you had ever missed him— or anyone else, really. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted to cuddle with him. You wanted to hold hands and laugh with him again. You missed what it felt like to feel warm and comfortable in bed with the man. You missed his arms around you when you couldn’t sleep rather than feeling lonely in the sitting room.

As you sat in almost miserable, tense silence, you were unaware that Atsumu hadn’t been sleeping so peacefully like you thought he was. He laid on his side, a hand over on your side of the bed as he gently rubbed the bare sheets with his thumb. He wasn’t sure what you were doing, he wasn’t sure why you were awake, but he did know that he’d woken up simply knowing something was wrong and when he turned, you weren’t sleeping beside him but instead you were simply gone.

He sighed, rolling onto his back and rubbing his eyes. He debated strongly on getting up, trying to decide what he’d say even if he did. Just to see you, just to see that you were on the sofa rather than out on a late night drive or something. He wondered if maybe you’d fallen asleep watching a movie, but the door was open as he peeked over and he knew the tv wasn’t on.

Curiosity almost made him pull the blankets back and go to check on you, but he froze. Maybe this was simply your process. He knew that you often struggled sleeping if your mind was too full, and while he usually wanted to help you talk through it if he happened to be awake and you were in the mood to share, but things were so… tense lately that he knew you wouldn’t want to. Or rather he thought it, he had second guesses: “What if she still trusts me a little bit and I could help?” “What if she’s lonely?” “What if we could sit in silence like we’ve done once or twice these couple of weeks?” “What if my mere presence helped her like it helps me when she’s there without even a word?”

“What if” after “What if” went through Atsumu’s mind as he stirred on the bed, trying not to alert you in the other room that he was awake and yet not being able to find a comfortable place to lie in anymore as he peeked back at the door.

One little peek couldn’t hurt, could it? Just to check up on you and make sure things were alright. After all, you may have been distant, but you were still the love of his life; you were still his wife at the end of the day even if you wished he wasn’t your husband.

Lifting the sheets, Atsumu almost moved before lightly shaking his head and laying back down on the bed. He rolled back over, facing away from your side of the bed and pulling the blanket over his shoulder. It was cold and lonely without you here, and even if he decided against it, he wondered if you were cold and lonely in the other room. Maybe it was wishful thinking that you missed him like he missed you, but he couldn’t help pushing away the thought that you could be happier without him than you were with him.

Tuesday, September 21st

Staring blankly at the boiling pot of water, you were thinking about anything and everything as you made dinner. The sun was setting outside as you cooked. You had gotten off of work early tonight, and even though Atsumu was getting home tonight at the same time that he always did, you decided to make dinner rather than waiting for him.

It’d been almost three weeks now of him consistently taking care of you and the apartment— making dinner and breakfast, drawing you the occasional bath, taking care of you when you were sick this week and while you were having a rough time on your period. It had been miserable, but Atsumu had made all of it more bearable than it would have been if he was still too wrapped up in himself to notice. He was making it impossible to still be angry with him and instead left you reminiscing all of the good times with the man that you’d loved since you were young.

All of his sweet gestures hadn’t gone unnoticed like he once thought, and for the first time in awhile, you were slowly getting more confident in the thought that you knew what you wanted again.

Absentmindedly, you reached for your phone as you stirred the noodles and opened up Atsumu’s messages before hesitating. In the past, you always messaged Atsumu when dinner was going to be done soon so that he knew when he got home he could eat, and it gave you the chance to tell him you were excited to see him and hear from him on busy days. But because it’d been awhile since you’d made dinner, you had forgotten what it felt like to be in this position again, and for a moment, you weren’t sure what to do.

Deciding to do the adult thing, you messaged the man to let him know dinner was going to be done by time he got home. He’d been tired this morning, though you weren’t sure why, and you knew he’d probably be exhausted by time he got home, so if anything it was a relief to not have to make dinner too, wasn’t it?

You set the phone down, going back to the food and checking the oven when your phone dinged with a message. You quickly peeked up on the counter, seeing Atsumu’s name and reading the quick thank you message that ended with a simple heart. You could feel your cheeks warm a bit as you flipped your phone over with the tiniest of smiles and looked back to the boiling food.

“I think it’s time,” you whispered to yourself with a nod. You turned down the stove so that the water wouldn’t boil over and set your oven mitt down. Quickly drying your slightly damp hand off, you headed for the bedroom and flipped the light on.

With an almost hesitant sigh, you sat down on your desk chair about 10 minutes before Atsumu was due to leave the gym and head home. You looked at the stack of papers, gently sliding them closer to you. Your name written on the fine line had nearly haunted you the past week, and as your finger gently traced over the dried ink, you looked to the empty space where his name still needed to be signed. You picked a couple of the papers up and read a couple of the first lines, hesitating with worries still lingering in the back of your mind before you ripped the papers.

Ripping them again had only been a feel-better tactic that had worked. You gave a soft breath in relief as the lingering threat that loomed over your head was tossed into the trashcan and emptied. You didn’t want Atsumu to know you’d made your mind up quite yet, instead wanting to see if he could make it one more week— but even as you thought of this, you knew that he could and you knew this was what you wanted.

Atsumu may have made mistakes, he may be childish and obnoxious at times, but that had never made you love him any less before. Even if he had his moments, he still showed you that he cared, and that was what mattered the most to you— the simple fact that he wasn’t giving up and that he still wanted you around as much as you wanted to be around.

I forgot to tag originally because I was absentminded as I posted! Sorry for the delay, but everyone who requested to be tagged is here!

Taglist: @duckymcdoorknob, @qualitygiantshoepsychic, @backoftheletter, @ilhy2003, @stffychn, @enjoymyloves, @ghostlyarcanum, @kamalymaly, @poguerules, @izumikunmy, @lithe-thal, @amarinthe, @jennasquishy8, @vanillaniime, @haezen, @bloombb

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader fluff #haikyuu x reader angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu atsumu miya #atsumu miya x female reader #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya x reader fluff #atsumu miya x reader angst #atsumu miya fluff #atsumu miya angst #atsumu miya imagines #atsumu miya

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kemakoshume · 3 years

Text

𝙰𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚈𝙾𝚄 (𝚃𝚆𝙾) — [𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝟒𝐊 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛 hosted by the lovely @hornime] ✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑ 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞: [ 𝐡𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐬://𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥_𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐧_+_𝐜𝐲𝐛𝐞𝐫_𝐬𝐞𝐱 ] - [ .𝐦𝐩𝟒 ] – (𝐣𝐣𝐤 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)(𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐮 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

a/n; hi guys ~ so... i uh… i took some liberties with the prompt for this collab. this is more of a… creating digital porn sorta thing more than just watching it or doing homemade partner stuff. looking at the medium from the "professional" content creator side, yunno? — this was lightly inspired by the #origamicamp sw thing that was going around on tiktok (& this art by cathexis_art on twt), but i’ve had this concept idea for a while so i’m glad i had an excuse to write it.

+ this will be in four parts! because i have no self-control :D [pt 1 — pt 2 — pt 3 — pt 4]

warnings/content included: part one warnings — sw (onlypans/corn), slightly awkward f!reader, discussions about having sex with a lot of ppl in a short amount of time. this whole first chapter is just fun shit & "worldbuilding." more suggestive than sexy. getting to know some characters sorta things. enjoy :D [4.8k words]

~ playlist i had going while i wrote this: here ~ loose mood board for this fic in case you're interested: here (its messy but oh well lol) ~ enjoy! ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧

𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔬𝔫𝔢 — 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 ~

𝔵

"So, has everyone signed their model release forms?"

You looked down at the sheet of stark white printer paper in front of you, skimming over the words one last time, your signature still missing from the dotted line:

“I hereby consent to the rules outlined and discussed on the page prior. I, _____ (initial), consent to and willingly participate in the explicit content creation business event organized & held on today's date _____ and agree to follow all rules outlined by the event coordinators on the page prior. I acknowledge that the money(s) earned will be split on a personal accrual basis; meaning, all content creators will post their own content on their own accounts & profit what they make separately on their individual accounts.”

Noted.

“As stated in the event rules page, consent must be given enthusiastically and can be revoked at any time. Content will be reviewed on the last night before dismissal from the premises for approval by all involved parties. Once approved, the content must be advertised and shared as agreed unless all parties concede to terminate the agreement.”

You sighed, reading over the last sentence again and again before releasing your focus on the words. Your eyes flicked up, looking around at your intended coworkers.

All the men and women around you, some new to you and some not, all seemed calm. Some looked devilishly smug, bouncing their legs in barely contained excitement for the weekend to come. Others looked indifferent but pleasant, and some looked bored, probably from the ongoing hour and a half of legal jargon you had all just sat through.

You felt butterflies creeping into your stomach as you looked at the myriad of personalities present in the space. The boy next door, a young brooding hot guy, a muscle pig, a MILF, femme girls, masc girls, an older brooding hot guy with long hair, a walking Dolce & Gabbana advertisement with white hair—and that was just to name a few. Though, you couldn't help it when your eyes were drawn back to the last two; they were the only people in the room that were already caressing each other’s skin, and lazily playing with the loose tendrils of each other’s hair.

It shouldn’t have made you gasp when your gaze was caught by theirs, but it did; and you couldn’t help the flush of red that bloomed beneath your skin when they smiled at you, like starved wolves that have just found a wounded rabbit in a small clearing in flower-filled woods. You broke eye contact, looking back down at your papers to feign interest in the text.

“Everyone done?” the man—a ghastly (albeit adorable) little lawyer that had been hired to handle legalities, said. He dragged his eyes across the room, making half-hearted eye contact with all of the faces situated at and around the large pinewood conference table. “Does anyone have any questions or objections to what we’ve discussed before I take your contracts to be notarized?”

Everyone looked at each other inquisitively, making eyes at each other as if to say, “do you?” You kept yours on your paper. A few beats of silence passed, and just when the lawyer—Ijichi, maybe?—moved to speak again, the white-haired man raised his hand in the air, like a mischievous school child about to pester his favorite, typically timid, teacher.

“No objections Kiyo. Can I call you Kiyo?” he said, ignoring the shaky reply from the sapless man. He lifted off his dark tinted glasses to expose his beautiful azure blue eyes, locking them onto your face.

You looked up, noticing the intensity in his gaze. He looked at you as though he could see every curve and edge of your soul. Maybe he could, who knows? “I think we might have a virgin — so to speak — in the room. Mei Mei, is this one a recruit of yours?”

You looked to your left, dragging your eyes along the sharp lines of the woman’s face. Your gaze settled on her cherry-red lips.

“She is not one of mine but I do wish that she was. I’m assuming you’re our casting call addition, right little one?”

You nodded your head, a soft “yes,” leaving your mouth.

“Ah, so cute,” she cooed, sweeping your hair back behind your ear. “Nervous?”

Your eyes dropped down to the valley of her breasts, the full span of her chest exposed with the excessively low neckline of her flowy lavender dress; the garment also included a lace corset bustier that she’d cinched tightly at her waist, drawing even more attention to the fullness and curves of her body. Her lazuline blue hair draped across her lithe shoulders.

“No,” you said softly, feeling the facade whittle as you will yourself to look the woman in her eyes. “Well, maybe a little. I’ve never done an inventory load with my content before— which, if I’m honest, just means that I’ve never planned on having this much sex in just a few days. But, I am not a virgin so I’m sure I can take it. I’m just having some pre-sex jitters I guess.”

The woman smiled at you, running her manicured nail soothingly up and down the goosebumped surface of your upper arm.

“Oh, don’t be shy love. Don’t worry, we don’t bite. Unless you want us to — of course,” she said with a wink, glancing down at your contract that remained unsigned but not saying much more.

The blue-eyed man looked between the two of you, a coquettish grin on his lips. “We love to hear that. So, Kiya, when exactly can we get on with the fun part?”

You hear a small groan from your left, looking over to see a woman in the middle of an eye roll. She’s beautiful, and you’re sure you’ve seen her online before. Fetish work? Maybe JOI content? Domination? You can’t remember.

You’d researched (watched porn featuring) — at least — fifteen of the people around before coming down to the estate for filming over the weekend; however, after watching so many videos, they had all blended together and you mainly only recognized people vaguely by their faces. You also didn’t get a chance to watch content from them all anyway, so nearly every interaction would be a surprise.

She crumpled up a loose sheet of plain printer paper and chucked it at the tall, white-haired man sitting across from you.

He caught the little ball mere centimeters from his face and dropped it coolly on the smooth surface of the sturdy desk. “The ‘fun part’ starts when you sign your contract instead of sizing up the newbie,” she quips, muttering ‘asshole’ in a hushed tone that everyone in the room could still hear.

“Oh don’t be so sensitive ‘Hime. If you want to take some aggression out you could at least wait until we’re filming.”

Your eyes snapped up to the blue-eyed man’s neck, watching the long-haired man next to him apply a noticeable amount of pressure around the nape, raking his fingers through the loose hair there and pulling it tight.

He noticeably stops talking, and you don’t miss the shared smirk that the woman and the hair-puller exchange. The air feels thicker with heightened tension since most of the people in the room noticed the display.

The lawyer prickled, locking eyes nervously with the tall blonde sitting on the opposite head end of the table from him.

“Kento,” he whispered, not-so silently begging for intervention.

The man rolled his eyes, sitting up taller in his seat. “Satoru, sign. For anyone else who hasn’t signed, if you’re having doubts, that’s fine. No one here is going to force you to make content and we don’t want you to feel pressured. No hard feelings if you decide against participating. We saved this final section of the contract signing until you were all here for a reason. You can still opt-out.”

Your eyes trailed around the room one more time, and you saw nothing but sweet looks and small smiles being exchanged in return. Everyone had signed but you, and it must have shown. A small group of people, two boys and one girl, looked at you quizzically.

The one with pink hair and soft eyes quirked his head, reading you and your face without you saying a word.

“Okay, listen. We’re all here to fuck, make money, and have fun for the weekend, right?” the boy said, glancing at the spiky-haired man by his side. “This should be a no-stress zone! I know I’ll be really bummed if anyone leaves but I think everyone here would understand, yeah? Content weekends aren’t fun unless everyone is genuinely on board. So, speak now or forever hold your peace?”

His tone was light and subduing; any tension left in anyone’s shoulders softened, including your own, as his honey brown eyes went all doe-like similar to a puppy. You giggled a bit to yourself, taken by the young man’s sweet demeanor when you felt eyes on you again.

The man with white hair and his partner were examining you. You felt warm, just from the caress of their eyes along your body. How could you back out without getting to know how their hands would feel? About how all their hands would feel?

You looked down at the contract again, not even reading the words but just taking in what the signature would mean. Your first time doing back to back shoots. Your first time having sex with more than one — okay, two… maybe three — people in one day, and god only knows how many over the whole weekend.

Though, you thought to yourself, they were all professional, experienced, people who respected boundaries and knew what they were doing, and were all quite beautiful to look at.

That thought was… exciting, really, not scary.

“Fuck it,” you sighed, picking up your pen to scribble in your initials, then your full birth name in both signature and printed form across the bottom. “You only live once.”

The group — at least twenty people, give or take — all made a little show of clapping for you, whistling and bumping into each other in thinly veiled excitement as you placed down your pen.

“Well then,” the blonde said, rounding the table to take all of your documents, “thank you Yuuji for the pep talk. With that, if everyone’s signed their paperwork then I think we’re good to go.”

He walked over to the shaky lawyer, helping him clip together the contracts in an organized manner, loading the documents into the man’s very thick, patent leather, briefcase. “Okay, that’s all from me. Have a fun weekend everyone,” he said, bowing a bit as he made his way out of the room, then out of the massive house you were all renting.

It felt like the entire room took a communal sigh of relief as he left. Even the blonde huffed, sliding his hands into his pants pockets as he leaned on a chair. “Alright, I think we’re free now,” he said, eliciting a small round of giggles. “Well, go explore. Rooms are up for grabs on a “finder’s keepers” basis, and they all have toiletries and robes for everyone. The kitchen’s stocked, the outdoor patios will be heated for the night, and it’s just us — on a private lot — for about three miles, so do with that what you will. If you need anything, our management company’s intern Akira is on call and in the area so don’t be afraid to speak up. Any questions?”

No one showed any intention to say anything.

“Good. We’ll discuss matchups for content in detail later after you’re all settled. Now that’s it. Disperse.”

Everyone hopped to their feet immediately and began to scramble around the house, like little ants in search of spilled sugar within the home. You noticed pods of people breaking off on their own; they were likely friends with established chemistry and comfort with each other already.

Some people moseyed around the space, looking around and taking in the decor as they made their way around the rooms. You couldn’t help but be part of the second group.

The home had beautiful decorum arranged well around the massive space. The main area was littered with reimagined art nouveau works that the owner had organized in a gallery-like display on the walls. The furniture was all notably vintage but very well taken care of, and the lighting fixtures that hung high above your head had crystals that made little blings of light dance along the floors and ceilings.

The space was comfortably warm, despite the slight chill coming in from the autumn season outdoors; mainly because of the abundance of natural light coming in from the wall of tempered glass windows, and the space held plenty of flourishing plants that made the air feel rich.

How could a home so grand feel so intimately beautiful?

You made your way up the large winding staircase, looking down the long hallway with staggered heavy oak doors. You walked down, looking passively into each room as you went.

Most housed people in them already, their voices and laughs caring down the wide corridor as you passed by. There were a few rooms with only one bed, though even those had more than one occupant, small piles of people draped on top of each other playfully in their rooms.

Having joined via casting call and not word-of-mouth, nearly everyone was a stranger to you. Would it be awkward to just… waltz into a room and say: “Hello strangers, I’m here to occupy your space.” Maybe they had another friend they were waiting for already, or they thought they’d gotten lucky and no one would take up their space, or…

“Hi!”

You jumped, feeling your soul momentarily detach from your body. “Hi,” you yelled back, swinging your body around to look back at the petite blonde standing a bit too close to your back. You looked the girl up and down inquisitively, momentarily distracted by the pretty blue color of her doe-like eyes.

“Uh, are all the rooms up here taken?” you said, motioning down the hall, noting that the lights were on in most of the rooms though you didn’t know who or what all they contained.

The girl rocked back and forth a bit on her heels, sliding her hands into the cleverly hidden pockets stitched into her dark blue a-line dress. “Well,” she said, dragging the word, “technically no, but also yes. All of us cute younger girls are bunking together in that room at the end. It’s basically a suite — it’s so fucking massive. You can join us if you want! We have enough robes and stuff in there for everyone, and the bathroom has two toilets, and the shower is a waterfall kind. I shit you not we can all fit in there at once, and —”

“Momo,” a voice called from the room, “stop gabbing at the new girl. She can come look at it herself.”

She looked at you, shrugging her shoulders with a giggle. “Yeah, she’s right. Come on, you’re gonna die when you see it.”

You nodded your head, adding a little involuntary bounce to your step as you followed her into the room. “Oh fuck,” you muttered, dropping your bags at your feet as you came face to face with the interior of the space.

There was only one word to really describe the room you’d stumbled your way into: fucking breathtaking.

“Is that,” you stammered, pointing at the expansive ceiling, “is that a recreation of the Sistine Chapel?”

Momo hummed, plopping herself down onto her own bed pushed over and into a corner of the room. There were a few other girls in the room as well, all sifting through their things to pull out whatever they needed for the night.

“Insane right?” one of them — a girl with short black hair and cat-like eyes — said, lazing around on her bed. “God. Nanami and Utahime really outdid themselves with the planning on this one. I’m almost impressed.”

A girl popped up from the floor by her bed, only one earring on correctly, with the other gripped between two of her fingers.

“Hi new girl!" she chirped, sticking her earring back into her ear. "I can’t believe they managed this solely off of the money we all put in. I heard they even got a company to come clean for us and top off the food and stuff while we’re staying here,” the girl—sweet-faced with mint blue hair and eccentric curtain bangs—said, gasping when she realized what she’d said. “Aw, man. I think that was supposed to be a surprise. Don’t say anything! I couldn’t take it if Iori got mad at me.”

All the girls chuckled, including you, watching the girl look like she’d work herself up to tears over spoiling the news if you let her. She plopped down onto a chair in front of the vanity by the black-haired girl's bed.

“Miwa, please. She couldn’t be mad at you if someone put a gun to her head and it’s not a surprise, so relax. She definitely told all of us that.”

“Oh. Thank you, Mai,” she sniffled, wiping away tears that never came. “You’re so sweet sometimes when you try.”

Mai prickled, shouting profanities at Miwa despite how much she cowered, pulling the blue-haired girl down from the stool onto her bed.

You chuckled, looking away from them to move towards the door by the entrance. “What’s in this room?”

The blonde perked up, jumping down from her tall bed. “Oh! It’s an extra room,” she said, opening the door to expose the inside. “It only has a bed and a mirror but we’re gonna turn it into a makeshift content room. Stock it with some extra sheets and towels and have the lighting and everything set up in there already. Convenient right? Now we don’t have to use any of the “smoosh rooms” — whatever the fuck that is — if we don’t want to. I heard the Itadori idiot nickname them that.”

Miwa giggled, her head slotted beside Mai’s as she was pinned to the bed. “I think he’s smart, and really sweet. A lot nicer than your cousin at least, Mai. He is a cutie too though, just in the ‘I’m trying very hard to seem mysterious right now — beg for me to let you see the real me — my favorite color is black and I hate sugar’ — kind of way. I’ll give him that,” she giggled, having — apparently — mimicked the cadence of his voice perfectly.

The black-haired girl chuckled, making a little “ick” noise with her tongue sticking out. “Gross. Thank you for reminding me he’s here. Thank god we’ll probably end up filming content at different times. That way I’ll be busy when he’s doing it, and he’ll be busy while I’m doing it. I don’t wanna see him — or my sister — or hear them and this place is big enough that I probably won’t have to,” she said, a little smile on her face. “Everyone wins.”

You grinned, picking your bags off of the floor to sit them by the unoccupied bed by the window. The girls had all unpacked and arranged their things around the room, save for the space they left untouched for you.

“Where are the content rooms anyway?” Miwa asked, her voice sounding more strained under Mai’s muscular build. “I didn’t see them.”

Mai lifted herself off of Miwa, plopping down onto her side with a huff. “I’m pretty sure they blocked off three rooms downstairs somewhere — just as big as this room apparently, and there’s two blocked off up here, plus our room.”

The girls looked between themselves, all shaking their heads with a shared, “cool.”

“Cool,” you giggled, taking toiletries and clothes out from your bags and sitting the items down on your bed.

The door to the bathroom swung open as you did, a girl with spiced red hair exiting with another person following closely behind her. “Oh, we got another girl?” the ginger said, tying the knot on her robe loosely around her waist, “Sweet. Welcome to the rodeo.”

You caught a glimpse of the bathroom as they exited. It was almost as big as the bedroom.

“I’m Nobara, this is Maki,” she said, motioning to the girl behind her. She gave you a little smile, waving half-heartedly as she dropped down onto her own bed in front of yours.

“Oh, baby,” the ginger said, climbing onto the bed to hover her body over the girl, pulling her into a kiss. “I’m tired, and I want some wine. Did you bring it?”

Momo yelped like she’d made a brilliant discovery of some kind. “Speaking of,” she said, digging around in her bags, “did everyone bring lingerie and/or bathing suits?”

You all hesitated, thinking it over as you rummaged through your own bags.

“I did, actually,” you said, moving around your clothes until you found a little orange two-piece set, sitting it down on your bed. “I didn’t think we’d use the pool but I did see something about a hot tub in the invitational, so, yeah.”

“Wonderful,” the blonde said, fishing her own suit out of her bag. “Bara? Maki? Mai? Miwa? Did you guys b—”

Momo stopped in her tracks, turning her head to see all four girls holding up their suits, still in their beds. She clapped, practically jumping out of her skin with excitement at not only the fact that you all had suits, but that they all looked similar enough aesthetically that you’d look like an ensemble, despite not all being friends.

“Perfect. Then, I have a little proposition for an ice breaker,” she said, reaching into one of her bags to pull out five things: Twister — the board game — boozy wine, a polaroid camera, a few cowboy hats, and a small pile of name tags. “What do you think?”

You looked down at the myriad of items, opening and closing your mouth like a water-starved fish. “I,” you paused, “I’m gonna be honest. I’m a little confused at what I’m looking at.”

The blonde chuckled, tossing you one of the cowboy hats — a bright orange one to match the bikini you’d placed on your bedding. “We’re all about to spend the weekend fucking each other and basically everyone else in this house that we choose. So, what better way to get to know each other than by getting a little tipsy, playing some games, taking pictures — you get the point. What do you think?”

You looked around at the other girls, nodding your head to say yes, and so did they.

“I’m down,” Mai said, getting up to snatch the uncomfortably warm bottle of wine from the petite blonde. “But, why the bathing suits?”

The blonde smirked, taking a little pouch meant for makeup out of her bag. “We should put on a little show. Get dressed, do our hair and makeup, and preview the goods. I mean, we’re here to have sex all weekend. Might as well start off with a bang.”

Miwa laughed, holding onto her stomach, “A ‘bang?’ That’s, oh god, that’s a good one.”

Both Mai and Maki rolled their eyes in tandem, both muttering, “oh jeez,” to themselves. Nobara found it just as funny as the blue-haired girl. You giggled too.

“Okay, you easily entertained little weirdos,” Maki chuckled, lifting her body off of her mattress with her girlfriend still sitting pretty in her lap. “Guess we should get dressed then, hm?”

Nobara nodded, picking her phone up off of the charger next to Maki’s back when her phone screen lit up with a message.

“Megumi says they’re making pizzas downstairs,” she said, moving slowly to get off of Maki. A few beats passed and her phone dings again, and all of a sudden she was moving with vigor, practically running around the room to get ready.

“What’s wrong,” you all croak, slightly disturbed by the whiplash-inducing change in attitude.

Her eyes were wild and crazed and she took off her robe, her bare breasts exposed and her underwear quickly discarded. “He said Yuuji and Todo are already down there.”

Mai dropped her phone on the carpet in her haste to disrobe, slipping on the flimsy, complicated, material of her bikini with unnatural ease.

“Oh fuck, that was a warning! Todo could eat a small house by himself if he wanted to, and I can’t imagine Itadori’s much better,” she said, looking up at you, Momo, and Miwa standing awkwardly as you watched the two rush. “Well hurry up! We’ll starve if we don’t get down there before they have at it. This is not a drill people—go go go!”

She corralled you all into the bathroom like cattle, shoving your makeup bags into your hands like a madwoman. “You’ve got maybe, maybe , ten minutes,” she said, speeding off to do her own makeup at the vanity not far from her bed.

You and the girls shared a look, fumbling around with your makeup and hair tools to get going.

Looks like the weekend had begun.

woohoo, first chapter done. chapter two will be posted either thursday or friday :D crossposted onto ao3: here (♥ω♥*) || @anime-central @crystal-lilac @cursedarchiveblog

#jjk smut #gojo smut #gojo x reader #suguru smut #satosugu x reader #geto smut #jjk cast x reader #caughtin4kcollab #getou smut #getou x reader #kk.writes #kk.jjk #kk.naughty #mdni #gojo x suguru #jjk collab #wtf even is this lmao #cursed.archive #kk.collabcollection

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hotcoffeetransformation · 4 years

Text

A Helpful Pamphlet

While searching through a dusty and forgotten box of books and papers that you found in your grandfathers attic, you pull out a small, brightly colored pamphlet that caught your eye. On the cover is a photo of a young, incredibly attractive man in a tank top, grinning up at you in a cocky, seductive, almost hypnotizing way. Above him is a a bright, bold title, reading “The 5 steps of jockification, with pictures!”

Bemused, you turn to the first page of the packet, and begin to read

Step 1: Denial

As the jockification process begins, the new jock will at first not believe what is happening to them, perhaps first dismissing them as mere tricks of the light, or perhaps believing that they just look particularly good today. However, through their obliviousness, the physical changes persist, abs, pecs, biceps and other muscles steadily growing and becoming more defined, face squaring off, becoming more masculine, hair growing healthier and more stylish. Eventually, too the things around them will start to change, their pants becoming much more fashionable, their shirt melting away, or else changing to suit their new physique and appearance. At some point, however, the new jock will inevitably notice the changes in themselves, and realize that this is, in fact, real (pictured below)

You laugh to yourself, reading this strange passage. Does whoever wrote this really think that things like can actually happen? This must be some kind of elaborate joke, a satire of some kind. Still you have to admire the dedication and descriptiveness of it, so you turn the page and continue reading, interested to see what the rest of the pamphlet holds in store

Step 2: Examination

Now that the new jock has realized that what's happening to him is, in fact, 100 percent real, he begins to, out of curiosity, examine himself and the changes he's undergone. He lifts his arms up, examining every muscle and flexing them, amazed at their new and impressive size. His eyes are drawn to his deep cut abs, creating a perfect v, bringing the eyeline straight down to his newly enlarged bulge. Eventually, either through a mirror, or perhaps a phone, he'll begin scanning his face, taking in the square jaw, the piercing eyes, the perfect lips. Of course, through all of this, he won't notice that the panic that was once overwhelming him is steadily subsiding, and his thoughts are starting to slow down as he's filled with a sense of contentment (pictured below)

You chuckle to yourself again, thoroughly amazed at what you're reading. Somebody really took the time to write up and print out a pamphlet detailing something so ridiculous and improbable. And to spell it all out as if it was pure fact, it makes it even more insane. Still, you had to admit, it was kind of a fun read, and you shift in your seat, adjusting your tee shirt, stretched uncomfortably tight over your muscles before turning to the next page and continuing reading

Step 3: Acceptance

By this point, the new jock has, rather unwittingly, found himself at peace with the changes he's undergone. He takes another look at himself, taking time to adjust his hair, perhaps toying around with an accessory or two, or tracing his fingers along his hard muscles almost absentmindedly. Thoughts continue to drain out of his head, leaving him nuch dumber than before, and that only helps speed up the process exponentially. Finally, and with a small smile, he realizes. He looks good. REAL good. And with that single thought, without so much as a warning, the final phase of his jockification begins (pictured below)

This time, you hardly stop to think before turning over the page to the next section of the booklet. You're very excited to read and learn about what the final phase of jockification is like, and finishing this pamphlet is the only way you'll ever find that out.

Step 4: Broification

At this point, the new jock has undergone all the physical changes necessary to be considered a new jock, but is still lacking the attitude required to truly be one. Luckily, however, with that single thought from the last step, the new jock has unwittingly invited every single change required, giving them open access to himself. As he continues to look at his new body, cocky, narcissistic thoughts begin flooding his head. He doesn't just look good! No, he realizes as he begins flexing and posing to himself in the mirror, he's not just good looking! He's HOT! In fact, in his, he's one of the hottest guys he's ever met, if not THE hottest. With that, as well, comes a new appreciation for other bro's hotness, straight out of nowhere. Of course no one could really understand how hot he is, except for another hot bro like himself. As he thinks that, his brain continues to drain, space that was once reserved for knowledge like math or vocabulary now being filled with thoughts of going to the gym, hitting the beach with his bros, and other such jock activities. Soon enough, the new jock is complete, indistinguishable from any and all of his equally dull, vain friends, completely oblivious to who he used to be before this day. As almost a sort of ritual, nearly every time the new jock will take their phone, raise it up, make a dumb, cocky face, and take a selfie, ready to upload it as the first of MANY new photos of himself about to make their way to Instagram. (Pictured below)

You smile to yourself before letting out a low chuckle. That was a good read! A bit hard to understand at points (You'll have to ask your bros what narcissistic and oblivious mean later) but still a super interesting topic and really hot! The idea of a lame nerd becoming a hot jock sounds amazing, but too good to be true. You go to put the pamphlet away before catching a glimpse of the cover again, and slapping yourself in the forehead. There were FIVE steps! You skipped one! (You really can be such a dumbass sometimes). Laughing, you grab the pamphlet back and turn to the last page, quickly reading

Step 5: Look in the mirror, take a pic, and enjoy!

Confused at why the booklet would say that, you smile and shrug anyway, grabbing out your phone, and preparing for a mirror selfie. Damn you look good today! Seeing a great opportunity, you decide to show off, lifting your shirt up all the way, revealing your impressive pecs and abs, and sticking your tongue out in a cocky expression that says "I'm sexy and I know it". You take a couple different versions of the pic, pleased to see how great they all look. You pick the best one, swiftly uploading it to your strangely empty Instagram, already ready for the likes to roll in. Almost ready to leave, you turn back to the pamphlet. Maybe you could make copies of it? You know of plenty of friends who'd probably enjoy it just as much as you did...

#straight to gay #jockification #musclegrowth #jock

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flightlessnightingale · 3 years

Text

On Lesbianism

I’ll state it at the top here, because many have not understood my stance. The purpose of this essay is not to say that Lesbian cannot mean “Female homosexual.” Rather, my objective is to show that Lesbian means more than that single definition suggests. Female Homosexuals are lesbians, unless they personally do not want to use that label. Now, on with the show: Lesbianism is not about gatekeeping, and I don’t want to have to keep convincing people that the movement popularized by someone who wrote a book full of lies and hate speech then immediately worked with Ronald Reagan is a bad movement. In the early ’70s, groups of what would now be called “gender critical” feminists threatened violence against many trans women who dared exist in women’s and lesbian spaces. For example, trans woman Beth Elliott, who was at the 1973 West Coast Lesbian Feminist Conference to perform with her lesbian band, was ridiculed onstage and had her existence protested. In 1979, radical feminist Janice Raymond, a professor at the University of Massachusetts, wrote the defining work of the TERF movement, “Transsexual Empire: The Making of the Shemale,” in which she argued that “transsexualism” should be “morally mandating it out of existence”—mainly by restricting access to transition care (a political position shared by the Trump administration). Soon after she wrote another paper, published for the government-funded, National Center for Healthcare Technology — and the Reagan administration cut off Medicare and private health insurance coverage for transition-related care.

Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism is a fundamentally unsustainable ideology. Lesbianism is a fundamentally sustainable existence.

There used to be a lesbian bar or queer bar or gay bar in practically every small town — sometimes one of each. After surviving constant police raids, these queer spaces began closing even Before the AIDS epidemic. Because TERFs would take them over, kick out transfems and their friends. Suddenly, there weren’t enough local patrons to keep the bars open, because the majority had been kicked out. With America’s lack of public transportation, not enough people were coming from out of town either.

TERFs, even beyond that, were a fundamental part of the state apparatus that let AIDS kill millions.

For those who don’t know, Lesbian, from the time of Sappho of Lesbos to the about 1970′s, referred to someone who rejects the patriarchal hierarchy. It was not only a sexuality, but almost akin to a gender spectrum.

That changed in the 1970′s when TERFs co-opted 2nd Wave feminism, working with Ronald fucking Reagan to ban insurance for trans healthcare.

TERFs took over the narrative, the bars, the movement, and changed Lesbian from the most revolutionary and integral queer communal identity of 2 fucking THOUSAND years, from “Someone who rejects the patriarchal hierarchy” to “A woman with a vagina who’s sexually attracted to other women with vaginas”

How does this fit into the bi lesbian debate? As I said, Lesbian is more of a Gender Spectrum than anything else, it was used much in the same way that we use queer or genderqueer today.

And it’s intersectional too.

See, if you were to try to ascribe a rigid, biological, or localized model of an identity across multiple cultures, it will fail. It will exclude people who should not be excluded. ESPECIALLY Intersex people. That’s why “Two Spirit” isn’t something rigid- it is an umbrella term for the identities within over a dozen different cultures. In the next two sections, I have excerpts on Two-Spirit and Butch identity, to give a better idea of the linguistics of queer culture: This section on Two-Spirit comes from wikipedia, as it has the most links to further sources, I have linked all sources directly, though you can also access them from the Wikipedia page’s bibliography: Two-Spirit is a pan-Indian, umbrella term used by some Indigenous North Americans to describe Native people who fulfill a traditional ceremonial and social role that does not correlate to the western binary. [1] [2] [3] Created at the 1990 Indigenous lesbian and gay international gathering in Winnipeg, it was "specifically chosen to distinguish and distance Native American/First Nations people from non-Native peoples." [4] Criticism of Two-Spirit arises from 2 major points, 1. That it can exasperate the erasure of the traditional terms and identities of specific cultures. a. Notice how this parallels criticisms of Gay being used as the umbrella term for queer culture in general. 2. That it implies adherence to the Western binary; that Natives believe these individuals are "both male and female" [4] a. Again, you’ll notice that this parallels my criticisms of the TERF definition of Lesbian, that tying LGBT+ identities to a rigid western gender binary does a disservice to LGBT+ people,—especially across cultures. “Two Spirit" wasn’t intended to be interchangeable with "LGBT Native American" or "Gay Indian"; [2] nor was it meant to replace traditional terms in Indigenous languages. Rather, it was created to serve as a pan-Indian unifier. [1] [2] [4] —The term and identity of two-spirit "does not make sense" unless it is contextualized within a Native American or First Nations framework and traditional cultural understanding. [3] [10] [11] The ceremonial roles intended to be under the modern umbrella of two-spirit can vary widely, even among the Indigenous people who accept the English-language term. No one Native American/First Nations' culture's gender or sexuality categories apply to all, or even a majority of, these cultures. [4] [8] Butch: At the turn of the 20th century, the word “butch” meant “tough kid” or referred to a men’s haircut. It surfaced as a term used among women who identified as lesbians in the 1940s, but historians and scholars have struggled to identify exactly how or when it entered the queer lexicon. However it happened, "Butch” has come to mean a “lesbian of masculine appearance or behavior.” (I have heard that, though the words originate from French, Femme & Butch came into Lesbian culture from Latina lesbian culture, and if I find a good source for that I will share. If I had to guess, there may be some wonderful history to find of it in New Orleans—or somewhere similar.) Before “butch” became a term used by lesbians, there were other terms in the 1920s that described masculinity among queer women. According to the historian Lillian Faderman,“bull dagger” and “bull dyke” came out of the Black lesbian subculture of Harlem, where there were “mama” and “papa” relationships that looked like butch-femme partnerships. Performer Gladys Bentley epitomized this style with her men’s hats, ties and jackets. Women in same-sex relationships at this time didn’t yet use the word “lesbian” to describe themselves. Prison slang introduced the terms “daddy,” “husband,” and “top sargeant” into the working class lesbian subculture of the 1930s. This lesbian history happened alongside Trans history, and often intersected, just as the Harlem renaissance had music at the forefront of black and lesbian (and trans!) culture, so too can trans musicians, actresses, and more be found all across history, and all across the US. Some of the earliest known trans musicians are Billy Tipton and Willmer “Little Ax” Broadnax—Both transmasculine musicians who hold an important place in not just queer history, but music history.

Lesbian isn’t rigid & biological, it’s social and personal, built up of community and self-determination.

And it has been for millennia.

So when people say that nonbinary lesbians aren’t lesbian, or asexual lesboromantics aren’t lesbian, or bisexual lesbians aren’t lesbian, it’s not if those things are technically true within the framework — It’s that those statements are working off a fundamentally claustrophobic, regressive, reductionist, Incorrect definition You’ll notice that whilst I have been able to give citations for TERFs, for Butch, and especially for Two-Spirit, there is little to say for Lesbianism. The chief reason for this is that lesbian history has been quite effectively erased-but it is not forgotten, and the anthropological work to recover what was lost is still ongoing. One of the primary issues is that so many who know or remember the history have so much trauma connected to "Lesbian” that they feel unable to reclaim it. Despite this trauma, just like the anthropological work, reclamation is ongoing.

Since Sappho, lesbian was someone who rejects the patriarchal hierarchy. For centuries, esbian wasn’t just a sexuality, it was intersectional community, kin to a gender spectrum, like today’s “queer”. When TERFs co-opted 2nd Wave feminism, they redefined Lesbian to “woman w/ a vag attracted to other women w/ vags”. So when you say “bi lesbians aren’t lesbian” it’s not whether that’s true within the framework, it’s that you’re working off a claustrophobic, regressive, and reductionist definition.

I want Feminism, Queerness, Lesbianism, to be fucking sustainable.

I wanna see happy trans and lesbian and queer kids in a green and blue fucking world some day.

I want them to be able to grow old in a world we made good.

#Lesbian #Trans #Transgender #Queer #Queer positivity #Queer history #Police brutality #Gay #Linguistics #Sappho #History #Femme #Butch #R #TERF #Terf friendly haha jk fuck tERFS

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under-the-cherrytree · 3 years

Text

Meant to be here❣︎

Amane Yugi x reader

Warning: talks about mental diseases like depression, talk about suicide, attempt suicide

A/n: okay this is self indulgence… This is also based on true traumatizing events that have happened recently to me so I wrote this to try and cope a bit..

When you get traumatized by something, what do you do? You write an Amane x reader about it-

This is also kinda random crap on a page so-

I hope you enjoy my pain of being taken to a mental hospital-

You groaned as the lady behind you placed the cart down a second before the man in front of you did. The man walked over to the big hospital doors, making sure it was locked before he nodded at the woman. She walked in front of you, bending down she unstrapped the two straps around your legs that held you to the cart.

“You can stand up now” She smiled. How the hell could she just smile at your misery? “You will be staying here for a few days..” You stood up, almost falling due to being strapped down for too long. You walked in what looked like a main room, a TV and table in the center of the room. What caught your attention was a boy that sat on the chair, messing around with a puzzle piece before looking at you. His amber eyes looked at you for a moment before you felt someone grab your arm.

“Let me check your blood pressure and temperature! Sit, sit!” She pointed at a chair in the corner of the room with medical stuff hanging from it. Without saying anything you sat down, looking at the boy again only to see he was looking somewhere else. You sighed, lowering your eyes to your feet as the nurse put the thermometer in your mouth and quickly took it out again.

“Can I use the phone…?” You looked over at the nurse.

“Of course! Here let me get it for you…” She stood up, summoning you to follow her which you did.

“Try and spend only fifteen minutes on it… others might want to use it too. And when the call is over, go to someone at the front desk, we will assist you from there.” She hands you a small, old phone. You quickly dialed your parents' number in praying they will pick up.

“Hello?” A woman said on the other line.

“Mom!” You practically shouted into the phone “How are you…?”

“I’m good, just watching some T.V.” She said in a monotone voice.

“Really…? You are at home…? You aren’t angry about the situation?”

“No Y/n, I am very disappointed that you are there. This is very embarrassing for me, what am I going to tell my family? It’s your fault, you talked to the doctor and the doctor recommended you go to the er.”

“Yeah but I didn't know the er would take me to a loony bin!”

“That's your fault. If they think this is what is better for you then it must be, I’m not a professional.”

“But mom…! Can’t you get me out of here?! I want to go home…”

“Sorry Y/n, but I have no more control over you. They took my custody away. And if child protective services get involved I can't stop them, you will be taken away from me and I can't do anything about it. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe I’m not a good mom.” She said so bluntly, without any care. Not caring if you would be taken away from her. Tears formed in your eyes hearing her words not wanting to be taken away from an environment you were used to.

“They are going to keep you there for three days to watch you… they already think you are a threat to yourself. The doctor said that you said ‘if I go home tonight I will kill myself’” Your mom said, causing your eyes to widen in shock.

“That I said… what…?” You could barely form words at the lie your doctor said using your false words against your true ones “But I never said that… I never said I was going to kill myself…”

“You didn't? Well it's not like anyone is going to believe you, it's your word against the doctors.”

“But the doctor's words aren't true..! It’s crap that only I know it's true… why wont they believe me...!”

“This happens… doctors believe other doctors so they can lie all they want. You shouldn’t have got caught up in the system Y/n… it can break you if it wanted to…”

“Ma’am.” The nurse interrupted you before you could say another word. “It’s 3:00… it's room time. You will stay in your room until 4:00.”

“Room time…?” You repeated.

“Yes, no phone calls during room time.”

“Okay… mom I have to go. Talk later, maybe, okay..?”

“Sure, talk later I guess.” You hung up the phone and placed it on the table.

“Your room is right over there. You currently have no roommate but that might change soon..” The nurse pointed to a door right across the hall which you assumed was ‘your room’. You nodded and walked over to the room door, opening it with the weird door knob. You closed the door behind you, sitting down in the plain bed with a blanket and one pillow.

You felt your body break as you fell onto the bed, tears leaving your eyes and staining the pillow. Your mothers words rang through your head, repeating over and over through your ear.

“I’m… a disappointment now…” You mumbled to yourself, crying more.

You didn’t want this life anymore.

Around 45 minutes later, you finally calmed down a bit when you heard a knock at your door. The person outside didn't even wait for you to answer when they opened the door and walked in.

“It’s almost 4:00, that means group activities. Let's go.” She said, holding the door open for you. You got up and followed the nurse into a room with a big table and some chairs, some chairs already taken by other patients.

“Go sit anywhere” The lady said and closed the door leaving you in there. You looked around, fiddling with the rim of your shirt as you looked for a seat. You quickly walked to a seat in the back, examining the room and all the people you should be staying with for a while.

You heard the chair next to you pull out and you looked to who was sitting next to you. The same amber eyes that looked at you earlier were staring at you now as well. You jumped in your seat seeing the way the boy stared at you, growing nervous. You couldn’t help but blush at how cute he was, staring at you with intense eyes, but his eyes looked duel… sad almost. It might have been just you but he looked like he was crying…

Before you could even open your mouth to speak, an older blond woman entered the room.

“Good afternoon!” She smiled “How are you guys today?” No one made a sound. You could feel the awkward tension rising as you only got more nervous by it.

“Okay then… Well today we will be questioning someone else like an interview about different things they like! I have a paper full of questions, you can work with the person sitting next to you.” You almost instantly looked at the choppy haired boy. The woman passed out the paper of the positive question you placed it between you and the boy.

“Amane.” The boy said, softly yet sternly.

“What was that…?” You asked, not sure what you heard the first time.

“My name is Amane. Amane Yugi.” He turned to you.

“Oh! I’m Y/n, Y/n L/n” You smiled a bit, happy he was at least talking to you.

“Why are you here?”

You didn’t want to answer that question… not right now...

“Well… It was more of a misunderstanding… I wasn’t supposed to come here, I was supposed to seek counselling with a therapist but the doctor lied about what I said and I ended up here…”

“Oh… okay.”

“How did you end up here?”

“I don't want to talk about it…”

“Oh…” You felt shivers go down your spine hearing his serious tone.

“I do hope you get out of here, but that isn’t going to be easy…”

“Oh…” you turned to him “thanks then… I hope I get out of here as well”

“You should really be careful here as well… this place is the thing that drives you insane. If you act normal for three days you should be good to get out..”

“Right… but what about you…?”

“I’m stuck here. I don't think there is hope for me to get out. But there is for you…” He aura got sadder and quieter as you looked at him in pity.

“Amane I-”

“I’ll help you Y/n”

“You… you will…?”

“Of course… I have nothing better to do after all” He leaned back in his chair with a smile.

“But why…?” You asked nervously. Can you even trust him? He is in a mental hospital.

“Why?” He looked at you, his lips quickly forming into a smirk. “Well I guess… you are quite sexy~”

“I-I’m what-?!” You punched his arm.

“Hey! Calm down, I was only teasing! But if you do end up staying, I promise I will protect you from this place. I guess you can say… I just feel like we were both meant to be here… meant to meet each other”

“Meant to be here…?” You repeated to yourself, confused. But not yet did you know that he was correct. You two were really meant for each other.

Again, random crap but if this gets popular enough I might do a part two cause why not-

#hanako x reader #amane x reader #hanako kun #yugi amane #toilet bound hanako kun #toilet bound x reader #tbhk x reader #tbhk #tbhk anime #tbhk comfort #jshk x reader #jshk

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