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[kwanisms]

Kinktober 「10:18」 — h.hyunjin

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➮ shinigami!Hyunjin × fem!Reader wc: 2.5k summary: As a god of death, Hyunjin spent most of his days in the underworld but after deciding to visit the human world, he finds himself drawn to a particular human and even conspires to drop his very own death note, hoping for her to pick it up. genres/themes/au: mild angst, light fluff, smut; supernatural, horror, thriller; non idol au, monster idol au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, supernatural and horror themes, forbidden romance, themes of death, the afterlife, and gods; sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! taglist has been moved to reblogs join my taglists! kinktober taglist is CLOSED! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you.  MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.

a/n: there isn't much to say other than that i changed the kinks for this because i couldn't make it fit with the direction the story was going in lol but i hope it still makes up for it. Thank you for reading and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), restraints (f receiving), makeup sex, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (Hyunjin doesn’t need condoms as a god of death but you do if you don’t want diseases or pregnancy), use of pet names (angel, sweetheart, gorgeous, pretty, etc.), and that should be all! kinks: restraints + makeup sex dialogue prompt: ❛❛ I promise I’ll be gentle. ❜❜

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When you first picked up the innocuous notebook, you never expected much to come from it. When you read the rules listed inside, you thought it was a joke. That was until the figure appeared in your apartment the next night.

He was tall, slender, with red hair, clad in black clothing with large black wings.

He introduced himself as Hyunjin, telling you he was a god of death, otherwise known as a shinigami. You learned very quickly that the notebook you had picked up was actually his and it was as real as the world around you. He explained he had seen you from a distance and the only way for you to see or interact with him was by touching his notebook.

He had been bored with his life in the shinigami realm and came to the human world to perhaps cause a bit of chaos but when he’d seen you, all that went out the window and all he wanted was to talk to you and for you to see him.

There was a certain beauty to him, his pale, honeyed skin, his bright apple red hair that fell just past his jaw, strands framing his face no matter how many times he ran his fingers through them. Suffice it to say, he was gorgeous and you were glad it had been you he wanted to pick up the death note. 

You still had yet to use it but Hyunjin promised that as long as it remained in your possession, you didn’t need to use it for you to be able to see him. A friendship of sorts formed between the two of you as time went on and despite your reluctance to use the notebook, Hyunjin remained by your side.

You carried the notebook with you, disguised as a plain notebook to the untrained eye, and Hyunjin followed you around the city. You found yourself enjoying his company, taking him with you to the river when you needed fresh air or enjoying the security you felt in his presence. No one else could see him but you still felt safe with him around.

As time wore on, you grew closer and closer, sometimes staying up all night to talk to him while he ate apples. It was the one thing he liked about the human world other than you. The apples were delicious. You made sure to always keep a stockpile of them in your apartment and he was grateful for it.

You weren’t sure when the shift in your relationship happened, only that one night, you no longer saw him as just a friend but as something more. You knew he wouldn’t feel the same, given you were a mere mortal and he was a god of death, but your curiosity got the better of you and you made the mistake of opening your mouth to ask him about relationships.

He had answered your questions in the moment but the next morning you couldn’t find him anywhere. The notebook was still in your possession so you knew at some point he would be back but one day turned into two which turned into a week which then turned into a month and you wondered if he would ever come back.

It had been months since you’d seen a black feather, heard a whisper of Hyunjin. It seemed like he may never come back. As you stood at the sink, washing the dishes, you went over your last conversation with him once more, turning it over and over in your head.

“Have you ever been in love?”

You’d been laying on a section of grass at the park by the river, staring up at the stars – or lack thereof – while he laid beside you, also watching the sky. You could see planes fly overhead, distinguished by their blinking lights. Your fingers laced together on your stomach though you yearned to reach over and take his hand instead.

You had been harboring these feelings for some time. Hyunjin had become a constant in your life, something you could count on. Someone you could depend on to be there for you. Sure, his constant presence was due to the fact that you had possession of his notebook but you like to think that regardless of that, you had formed a close friendship with him.

You had started to grow fond of him and soon, you understood your feelings to be that of infatuation. Daresay it, of love.

You hadn’t said the word out loud in conjunction with Hyunjin before but you knew deep down that you were deeply, madly, and unchangeably in love with him. Whether or not he reciprocated those feelings was something you were hoping to find out that night.

Hyunjin’s eyes opened and he turned his head to look at you. Your question caught him off guard.

“Have I ever been in love?” he asked. You nodded, eyes shutting as you hummed in response. Hyunjin kept his eyes on you, studying the side of your face in the low light from the city.

Had he been in love? Had he ever experienced that feeling? Did he even know what love was?

He turned his face back towards the sky as he contemplated. ‘No,’ he thought. He was adamant. He’d never felt like that before. He’d never been in love. The draw he had towards you was not one of love but  of fascination. He found you captivating, alluring, intriguing. But did that mean he loved you?

“Of course not,” he finally scoffed, keeping his eyes on the inky black sky as another plane soared overhead, missing the way you turned your head to regard him with a look of pain in your eyes.

“Oh,” you said softly, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Right,” you added with a nod.

“Of course not.”

You set aside the pot you had been mindlessly scrubbing for the last twenty minutes so you could move on, grabbing a handful of silverware to scrub at. You forced your mind to stay in the present, knowing that thinking about what was past would only serve to hurt you.

As you finished washing, rinsing down the sink, you heard a loud whoosh and a thud which shook the building. You shut off the water and glanced around, waiting to hear the sound of thunder or perhaps the sound of sirens but heard nothing.

You turned away from the sink, grabbing a towel to dry your hands when you froze, eyes wide as you stared across the living room to the glass windows that let you see onto your balcony.

There in the dark, backlit by the lights of the city, was a tall, lean figure, large black wings tucking away behind it. It was a familiar shape you’d grown accustomed to seeing in the morning when you woke up and at night before you fell asleep. It was the shape of someone you had spent the last few months wishing to see when you woke up in the mornings.

You felt your heart skip, breath catching as the corner of your eyes burned. ‘Hyunjin…’

You watched as the figure turned, wings now completely obscured, retracted into his body and the light from inside your apartment shone onto his face, illuminating his pale face and red hair. ‘Hyunjin’s back.’

You started to cross around the counter when the sliding glass door slid open and the familiar form of the shinigami stepped over the threshold, shutting the door behind him as he kept his eyes on you. You froze under his gaze, wringing the towel in your hands as you stared at one another in wordless communication.

He looked the same and yet different at the same time. The usual playful smirk and crescent shape of his eyes was gone, replaced with a solemn look yet his eyes held a look of something else. Something reminiscent of yearning. Of longing.

Could it be that the whole time you were waiting for him to return, pining over your potentially lost love, he had been missing you. Missing your face, your voice, your smile. As he studied your features from across the room, the ghost of a smile appeared on his lips.

You choked back the urge to sob tears of joy at the simple gesture. Not until you knew the reason for his return and the reason for his leaving in the first place. There was so much you wanted to ask that you didn’t know where to begin so you didn’t. Instead, you continued to stare in silence at him.

“Hey,” he said finally, his voice soothing a part of you that you didn’t know needed soothing.

“Hi,” you said breathlessly, your voice barely above a whisper as the two of you stared at one another, neither moving a muscle. Was this even real? Was it a dream? You weren’t sure, you couldn’t be sure.

Not until you could touch him at least.

You weren’t sure who moved first but in a flash, you had crossed the room to meet him in the middle, throwing your arms around his neck as he caught you in his arms, pulling you taut against him as you buried your face in his neck, a soft sob escaping past your lips.

“I’m sorry,” he said suddenly, holding you tighter. “I shouldn’t have run like that.” Your shoulders continued to shake with sobs as he gently stroked your hair. “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he whispered in your ear. “I’m so, so sorry, sweetheart. I lied,” he continued, pulling back to take your face in his hands.

“What?” you asked breathlessly. “I lied,” he repeated. “I have been in love. I am in love.” His eyes searched yours as his thumbs traced over the curve of your cheeks. 

“I’m in love with you.”

You let out a soft gasp as you stared back at him. Instead of answering him with your words, you pulled him in, crashing your lips against his. He responded immediately, pulling your body against his as he kissed you back with as much passion as you poured into it. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled in between kisses as you pulled him through the apartment towards your bedroom. “I love you so much, angel.”

Once in the bedroom, you both wasted no time in undressing each other, clothes falling to the floor and soon, Hyunjin had you spread out under him, wrists bound together with one of his belts while his tongue ravaged your clit, licking and sucking as he brought you closer and closer to the edge.

You combed your fingers through his red hair, tugging at it slightly to try and pull him off. “Hyunnie,” you whined as he held your thighs open, tongue sinking into your hole. “Hyunnie,” you tried again. “Need you. Need your cock.” He pulled back quickly, kissing a wet path up your stomach and chest until his lips met yours, tongue sliding into your mouth with a groan as he guided the head of his cock to your leaking entrance.

You moaned into the kiss as he sank into you, cock filling you and stretching your walls deliciously. “M’so sorry,” he murmured against your lips. “I love you so much, sweetheart.” You shook your head, lips brushing against his. “Don’ apologize,” you breathed as his hips stilled, cock buried in your cunt. “Just fuck me, please.”

Hyunjin captured your lips in a messy kiss, a trail of spit connecting your lips as he pulled back. “Not gonna fuck you,” he said softly, cock slipping out as he pulled back before thrusting into you slowly. “Gonna make love to you. You mean so much to me, angel. You deserve the world.”

A low moan escaped your lips as Hyunjin slowly sheathed his cock inside you, setting a slow but steady pace as he rocked into you. Each thrust was languid, rolling his hips against you as he filled your walls over and over. He angled his hips to hit the right spot while his groin added pressure to your clit.

Every roll of his hips had you seeing stars as he snapped against you a little faster and a little harder. “I love you,” you breathed out, reaching up to cup his face. He leaned into the warmth of your touch. “This isn’t supposed to happen,” he said suddenly, catching you off guard.

“M’not supposed to love you. S’against the rules.”

Your eyes started to burn at the corners but he kissed you deeply, passionately. “But I’ve decided I don’ care. I love you, Y/N. I can’t live without you. I don’ wanna,” he added, muttering the words against your lips. “I love you so fucking much. It hurts when I’m not with you.”

You pulled him into another lazy, sloppy kiss. “Then don’t go. Never leave me again.”

He groaned, burying his face in your neck. “Never,” he gasped as he snapped his hips harder against you. “Fuck I love you. Tell me you love me. Say it please, I need to hear it!” You moaned, back arching off the bed as his cock reached part of you no one else had ever reached.

“I love you, Hyunjin! I love you so much!”

He let out another groan, rutting faster as he chased his orgasm. “You close, sweetheart? You gonna cum with me?” You nodded fervently, hips matching his movements as you met his thrusts, your own orgasm approaching. With a final cry of his name, you came around him, walls clenching his cock as he stilled, buried deep inside you.

You felt his seed spill inside you, coating your walls as he moaned your name in your ear, his hot breath fanning over your skin. You held him tightly as you both came down from your respective highs, panting between slow, messy kisses, tongues tangling in a dance where neither were fighting for dominance.

Hyunjin let out a sigh, dropping his head against your chest as his breathing started to return to normal. He could hear your heart pounding in your chest. “I’m never leaving you again,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. You ran your fingers through his hair.

“Please don’t,” you replied just as softly. “I don’t think my heart could bear it.”

Hyunjin lifted his head, turning to place a kiss on your chest. “I promise,” he said softly as he scooted closer, bringing his face level with yours. You cupped his cheek, thumb tracing over his cheekbone. His eyes stared into yours, the lights above your headboard sparkling in his eyes like stars. 

“I will never leave you,” he continued. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to.” You nodded as you stared back at him. “Because I have the book,” you replied. He chuckled, shaking his head. “No,” he replied. “Because you have something more precious and powerful than that.” You tilted your head curiously. “What’s that?” you asked as his lips ghosted over yours, pressing a kiss.

“My heart.”

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[thyme-in-a-bubble]

the pained peace treaty

fused with the foe, chapter one

a/n: oh wow, i have no idea how to introduce this beast of a story except to say hi, hello, welcome! i really hope you enjoy this story, as well as the rest of the trilogy, idk if i've ever gone as in depth and all out with any story as i have with these.

summary: “now, everything is already set into motion, so we don’t have time for any of your theatrics,” not looking you in the eye, he frostily told you, “you are to be married. A carriage has just arrived a few minutes ago to pick you up and transport you to Eflorr.”

warnings: king!steve rogers x reader, fantasy AU (monsters, but not much magic), original fantasy world, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, slow burn, innocent!reader, abusive father (like super bad. he is a garbage person), wedding, blood, injury

word count: 4813

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“Your majesty, I must warn you, if, gods forbid, our people come to discover the great lengths you’ve been willing to go in this disagreement over the past two decades, they might start an uprising. And if you keep going, then it’ll turn into a full-blown war and you know our kingdom wouldn’t be able to survive that, not with them. Our city’s walls may be high, high enough to keep out any beasts that may wander this far south, but it wouldn’t keep them out. You know better than most how people from Eflorr are. If you don’t wanna lose your crown, one way or another, then I’d strongly advise that we come up with some peace treaty.”

“I know, I know…” King Ivan leaned back in his gilded throne with a huff, the quality of his voice was as thin as his towering frame, “a trade I think should suffice.”

A different advisor then timidly pipped up, “but our mines ran cold ages ago, what could we possibly offer that would be satisfactory?”

Not lifting his cold gaze, the king stared at a fixed spot on the marble floor as he said, “I know one thing the king lacks that we may be able to provide for him… a wife.”

“A wife–,” both of the men’s eyes grew wide, “but do you mean–, your majesty, she is your only daughter, are you certain this is the fate you want her to have? Those people are barbaric! If one of the dangers that rule the north doesn’t get to her first, one of their citizens surely will. Sire, what if history repeats itself?”

“Then let it do so. In fact, perhaps this could have been her purpose all along and I just didn’t realise it. Couldn’t see past my own rage to grasp how useful she actually could be…”

Sharing a nervous glance, one of the advisors asked, “should we send for her? See if she agrees with the plans?”

“No, I’ll tell her when the time is right. Wouldn’t want her to do anything stupid and ruin the one good thing she could ever provide,” finally lifting his stony gaze, the king commanded, “make the arrangements, I’ll see to it that she doesn’t ruin it.” 

Deep within the opulent halls of the gilded palace, standing grand and safe behind Ingorn’s tall city walls, twisting up towards the clouds, up in a window in the western tower, there you sat. 

Book in your lap, you leaned back against the small pillow you’d propped behind you to make the wide windowsill more comfortable. Small paper butterflies hung from strings above and some dangled so low that the childhood craft that still decorated your window trickled the crown of your head. Flipping the page, your fingertips brushed down over the illustration that appeared in the agricultural tome you’d found in one of your brothers’ rooms. 

As long as you put it back before Angus returned then you’d probably be good. And if he were to somehow notice, then as long as he didn’t rat you out to your father then it would be alright. Both Angus and a few of the others that were closer to your age, Oliver and Francis respectively, were always a bit of a gamble whether or not they would do such a thing. They didn’t always have the same spirit as the eldest pair of your older brothers, Xavier and Callum. 

You missed them so much your heart ached. The older they got, the longer their diplomatic missions seemed to stretch out, making the quiet palace that much more lonely in your solitude. 

A knock then suddenly boomed at your door, causing you to jump edgily in your seat before you slammed the book shut and nervously stuffed it behind the firm pillow. 

“Come in!” you called out, swiftly straightening out your dress that had crumbled around your legs at the comfortable seat. As the door to your room slammed open, the figure that stood in it caught you by surprise, “Father–, oh, hello,” you straightened your posture that much further at his arrival. 

Skipping over any niceties, King Ivan simply stated, “you need to pack up your stuff.”

Your brows knitted into a fierce furrow, “what?”

“Not everything, of course,” he cast a cold glance around the room though didn’t take a step to enter it, “just the things you are particularly attached to.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” your head lightly shook from side to side, “where am I going?”

When his eyes finally gave you the time of day, it swiftly dropped to the floor as a heavy sigh flowed from his lips, “why do you have to be the spitting image of her…” the muttering was unfortunately just loud enough for your ears to catch. His disappointment was always just loud enough for your ears to catch. When he entered the room and you moved to get up, he swiftly said, “stay seated, Y/n,” before he planted himself next to you on the wide windowsill, “now, everything is already set into motion, so we don’t have time for any of your theatrics,” not looking you in the eye, he frostily told you, “you are to be married. A carriage has just arrived a few minutes ago to pick you up and transport you to Eflorr.”

“To Eflorr?” your gaze grew wide, “you wish for me to marry someone there?”

“Not just someone, you are to marry their king.”

“I–… I–…” your chest rose and fell rapidly beneath your rosy dress, “but father, you can’t–, I can’t go live with the people who killed mom.”

“We don’t know if they actually murdered her. But I do know that you did,” his glare locked upon you as he let himself seethe, “if you hadn’t been born then she’d still be alive,” the fact that the only thing he blamed more for his late wife’s untimely demise then the kingdom she’d perished in was you, remained a point that the sovereign had never been shy about sharing with you for as long as you could recall, “your duty is to protect and serve this land, this crown,” your eyes naturally fluttered up to gaze at the twisted gold balanced upon his head, “if you don’t go through with this, then those savages will come pillage and ruin your home. You are, regrettably, the very last hope this kingdom has of survival. You have no choice, Y/n. This marriage is the only thing that can stop a war we would never survive,” exhaling slowly, he then dominantly nodded in a concluding fashion, “pack your stuff, you have an hour.”

You felt tears sting your eyes as your bottom lip quivered, “an hour? But–, can’t we wait at least a few days before I leave? Can’t I get a chance to say goodbye to at least one of my brothers? None of them are home yet.”

Regret instantly washed over you as your father’s nostrils flared angrily. Seizing your arm in a bruising grip, he yanked you close as he hissed, “you listen, and you listen carefully, you little brat. You have been the bane of my existence ever since you took your first breath. You took away the love of my life. You don’t deserve a goodbye, you don’t deserve anything. Do you think I got a goodbye when your mother suddenly went into labour on that diplomatic mission? No. All I got was you. Not another son, but a living, breathing reminder of what I lost that day,” your eyes squeezed shut as your cheek tingled at the memory of his strikes, “now, be a good girl and go wet his prick, give him a few babies, do anything he’d fucking please, so that him and his barbaric army doesn’t come here and slaughter everything you know and love.”

“Your highness, are you cold?” the high-ranking warden sitting across from you in the carriage noticed the shiver that your body couldn’t seem to shake. 

Tearing your eyes off of the scenery along The Emerald Path that the narrow window granted you a view of, you glanced back at the warrior. The brown hair he had practically tied off at the base of his neck blossomed into a dark beard. A bare palm clasped over an inked one in his lap as you met his gaze and said, “no, I’m–…” in truth, you were scared, so scared that you were trembling like a leaf, but you couldn’t tell the foreign king’s advisor that, too much weighted on your shoulders, you couldn’t screw this up, “no,” glancing back out of the window, you only stared a moment at the sparse cottages that slowly came into view on the rolling hills before you turned your head again and let the nauseating nerves control your words, “pardon me, Barnes, is it?”

“Yes, your highness?”

“Sir, how much further till we get there?” your quiet voice echoed within the carriage, “it’s just–, it’s been days.”

“Oh, not long at all,” he shook his head lightly, “actually,” the knight leaned forward in his seat and cast his glance outside, “if you look out the window now, right there,” a small smile tugged at his lips as his finger shot up to point, “that river, that means we’re getting close to Borün city.”

As the river then suddenly curved before the dirt road, the clomping hooves of the horses that hauled the coach resonated as they trotted over a stone bridge. 

Twisting your head, you glanced out to your right and spotted farmlands curve over the rolling hills that swiftly blossomed into thickets and towering flora you’d only assume was the southern perimeter of The Noll Woods. Books about this kingdom had been banned in your homeland for as long as you could remember, but even though you were essentially going in blind, you still weren’t completely ignorant when it came to the dangers that called that sprawling forest its home, not that you were an expert in the slightest, but your brothers had from time to time told you tales of the monsters who dominated in this part. From giant and twisted insect-like creatures, to mischievous pixies, to even the rare dragon, those stories had always been your favourite. Apart from the rare occasion where Callum would share stories with you about your mother. Being the eldest, he was the only one who truly remembered her. 

Instinctively, your fingers fluttered up to fiddle with the opalescent stone that hung from a chain around your neck. In the middle of the milky jewel was a small rune engraved into it. You had no idea what it meant, but your fingers had still traced the carving countless of times before as it had hung from your neck for as long as you could recall. It hadn’t been till you were a ways into your teens that you’d come to discover that it had belonged to your mother. 

Casting your glance out the other side as you passed a tall watchtower, behind the wide city stables unfolded a port town so quaint that it surprised you. Over the small valley of gabled roofs towered a central tree, and beyond all of that, the sparkle of the sea caught your eye, a sight you’d never beheld before, haven not only stemmed from a landlocked metropolis, but also not haven been permitted to leave your room as much as your heart had desired. 

“This is Eflorr?” you asked as the carriage began to roll up the winding path to the stone castle that loomed on the cliff, granting you a new view of how the river that you’d crossed slid through the city and spilt into the ocean.

“This is Eflorr, your highness,” the corners of his lips twitched at the sight of how wide your curious eyes were. 

“It’s–… it’s–…” your stare danced over the lush ivy that climbed the solid towers, “not what I expected…”

“What did you expect?”

Tearing your gaze away from the window, you blinked, “oh, I didn’t mean–,” suddenly worried that your shock had come out sounding rude, “I just–… I don’t know a lot about this land,” in the few tales you’d heard about this place, there had been a running gag that the people of Eflorr had lived so close to the dangerous beasts that called this part of the continent their home that they too had turned into monsters, “it’s just different than I imagined.” 

Ascending the jagged hill and passing through the front gate, it opened up into a wide courtyard before you felt the carriage finally roll to a stop. 

The wagon creaked gently as Barnes stepped out first, though when his boots were firmly on the cobblestone, his frame twisted as he reached an outstretched hand back for you to grasp in support of your own exit. Ever so apprehensively, you slid your own palm into his as your other twisted in your long skirts before you slipped out of the carriage. 

Letting go of his gasp, the soldier's low timbre washed over you as your head tilted back to take in the vast stronghold, “his majesty, unfortunately, couldn’t be here for your arrival as there was a bit of a dryad problem further up north he had to take care of,” you gaze tore away from the fort and fell upon him, “but I assure you he should be back in time for the wedding.”

“Oh, alright,” you breathed, unsure if that fact made you feel better or worse about the entire predicament.

“If you’d like, I can give you a brief tour of the castle,” he offered as he led you towards the main entrance into the castle proper, “or if you’re exhausted after the journey, then I can just show you directly up to your chambers.”

Offering him a polite smile, you nodded, “a tour would be lovely, thank you.”

He only briefly went over the buildings surrounding the courtyard you’d entered into, as they were mainly designed as barracks and various other facilities for the local wardens, though the horses that stuck their heads out of the royal stalls in the corner did catch your eye before you moved on inside. 

Barnes’ voice echoed in most of the chambers he showed you in the castle’s western wing. The vast stained-glass windows that were in the ballroom for instance took your breath away as you saw how the light streamed through them and warmed up the room with glittering little rays of colour. 

Behind the great halls, squeezed in between and connecting the two major parts of the fort, there you crossed through a much more quiet and lush courtyard. The pebble paths that curved around the central fountain too curled around various topiary bushes that were trimmed to perfection like living sculptures. 

Though as your guide showed you the eastern wing that crested over the foaming sea below, your curiosity got the better of you. 

“Hey, Barnes?”

Slowing his leisurely stride, he tilted his head slightly, “yes, your highness?”

“What are dryads?” your brows knit lightly together, “you mentioned there was a problem with them, but what are they?”

“You don’t know?” he glanced over at you, clearly trying to mask his surprise as you shook your head, “oh, well, they are forest spirits, nymphs,” he explained as you roamed deeper down a broad hallway on the second floor, passing many private chambers both to your right and your left, “it’s not uncommon for them to wander and bother the folks who live further up the coast. Have you never encountered one? They are not as uncommon in Obelón as most of the other creatures that thrive this far north.”

“No, I’ve never seen one…” you shook your head as a low sigh flowed from your lips, “never really seen anything…”

“Not much of an outdoorsy person?” he guessed in a light-hearted tone. 

Forcing a smile, you replied, “you could say that…” as you hadn’t been allowed to be one even if you wanted to. Passing a set of double doors that stood wide open, the sight inside made you halt your steps, “is this the library?”

Shadowing you as your feet crossed the threshold, he nodded, “yes, it is,” then pointed back over his shoulder, “and your quarters are right down that hall.”

Numerous grand bookcases stood lined up all the way down to where a tall window allowed the sunlight in and let it stream through the rows. 

“Can I–… would it be alright if I read some of them?” 

“Of course, your highness.” 

“Would you mind showing me which ones I’m allowed to read?” you briefly peeked back at him as a bubble of anxiety fluttered in your belly, “I don’t wanna accidentally read something that I’m not allowed to.”

Barnes then blinked back at you a moment before he uttered, “your highness, you can read each and every one of them if you’d like. Why wouldn’t you be allowed to read whatever you wish? They are yours after all, or will be after the wedding,” the corners of your lips twitched upwards as he then asked, “would you like to peruse the titles now or do you want to see your chambers?”

“Oh, uhm,” you tore your gaze away from the tomes and turned back, “I’ll look later.”

“Alright,” he nodded, extending his inked arm to show you the way. As he pushed the heavy wooden door open to the room at the very end of the hall, his voice rang out once more, “this is the peacock suite,” following him inside, he settled to a stop near the exit for you to explore the space on your own, “you can, of course, change anything you’d like for it to match your taste.”

“Thank you,” you breathed as you slowly made your way deeper into the chamber. It was gently divided with a more formal area towards the front where both tufted couches and a crackling fireplace stood, as well as a set of doors that opened up to a quaint balcony. Towards the left, under a swirling archway, twisted a broad canopy bed up towards the tall ceilings, warm with blankets and furs, and in the corner, by a breezy partition, stood a deep cobber bathtub.

Haven not noticed that he’d moved, you then heard as Barnes creaked the doors to a close, “if you need anything, anything at all, I’ll be right outside.”

With a loud creak, the heavy double doors opened before you and revealed the grand hall. As soft music gushed out, you nearly didn’t recognise the space from your tour the other day as it was now decorated with vibrant flowers and flowing banners that dropped down from the high ceilings above, as well as being completely packed with a swarm of people. A thin path parted the giddy crowd right down the middle towards the opposing grand door that guards opened simultaneously to yours. 

A shaky breath filled your lungs as you stared at the man crossing over the threshold. The flickering candlelight caught the honeyed shine of the locks that came down to tickle the nape of his neck. A bit darker, his short beard was full and warmed up the bottom half of his gruff features. He sure looked like a man who could slay a kraken with his bare fists, as the soft fur cloak that draped over his shoulders did not conceal his bulky physic one bit. The neckline of his indigo tunic stretched low enough for you to see the concave of his fuzzy chest and the impressive battle scars that broke up the rippling flesh. 

You’d seen the portrait of the king that hung in the hallway that stretched up towards the throne room, but to see him before your very eyes, in flesh and blood and not precise paint, was something else entirely. 

The long and embroidered train of the blue silk kirtle you wore dragged across the store floor behind you as both you and the monarch slowly stepped into the chamber to join in the very middle. 

The enchanting music stopped as you reached one another and the parted paths to either exit slowly closed as the crowd gathered and enclosed around the sacred vow that was about to ensue. 

Parting the sea of people like a divine force, an elderly woman, with a braided grey mane so long that it hit the floor, stepped up beside the both of you. 

“People of Eflorr,” the crone’s calm voice boomed, “today marks a day of unity, a day of peace, and most of all a day of love. Like a seed planted in the soil, tonight we will all witness this relationship blossom and go on the journey of growing into a magnificent tree, with roots strong enough to endure any storm, to propagate new seedlings that will watch over and shade our kingdom when yours have fallen.” 

Looking to the king, she handed him a small dagger from her belt and spoke, “blade across skin,” and he reached out for your right hand, “strike out your seedling’s love line,” your breath hitched as you felt him slice the top of your palm. Crimson blood trickled down onto his own hand as yours rested atop it, “and claim it as your own,” he flipped the blade around and handed it to you, before presenting you his own palm, open in yours. He didn’t even blink as you hesitantly pierced the calloused skin and traced the line already adoring his broad palm, “weave your lines together, so they become the same,” he then moved to clasp your hands together, his wide grip engulfed yours completely. Your teeth sank into just the faintest bit of your bottom lip at the fresh sting of your wound as it bled into his, “and may this scar serve you as a reminder, of the vow you made on this momentous day.” 

And as the last of the matron's words flowed from her lips so did the roar of celebration that erupted throughout the crowd as the festivities of the night bloomed at an instant.

The feast had been nothing short of immaculate. Countless of dishes had been spread out on the crowded banquet tables ranging from the savoury braised legumes to the sweet and shiny pies. It was an impossible task to try and taste every one of them, but an excuse you still used to stay glued to your seat and not get up and mingle with the boisterous gathering of strangers. 

As a stark contrast, you thought you only noticed the king take two bites before he rose to greet some latecomers who had arrived. Laughing and chatting with the sea of people, he hadn’t offered you a single word, barely even a brief glance the whole night. Though your gaze still followed him from your seat up at the high table as he moved through the crowd like they were all his dearest friends. 

When the moon had floated up to be high in the sky, clearly visible on the other side of the stained glass, your head had dropped down into a propped-up palm as a deep yawn forced its way out of your frame. 

“Are you tired, your majesty?” a deep timbre suddenly found your ears, a specific tone that caused your spine to straighten out at once. 

Whipping your head to your right, your weary eyes grew wide as you saw the king again at his seat, “no, I’m alright,” you hastily coughed out, “I’m so sorry for behaving like that in your presence. This party is exquisite.” 

“It’s alright, you can yawn,” you suddenly felt the need to look away now that his ocean stare was finally fixed upon you, “it’s late, I was about to retire for the night as well, so I can only imagine how you must feel. If you’d like, I could escort you back to your chambers. I’m not sure how familiar you’ve become with the castle since you’ve arrived, but even I can still get lost when the corridors are this dark and I’ve indulged in perhaps one too many goblets of wine.”

A flutter of nauseating nerves rushed within your belly, but even so, you still pushed through and forced a smile, “if that’s what the king desires, then sure, you can escort me.”

It was your wedding night. You knew what was about to happen. 

Or, actually, you didn’t quite know what the marital act entailed, but you were sure a man such as Steve had enough of an understanding to take charge. All you knew was what little you’d been told. To strip down naked, not whine or scream, and do as he tells you. 

The soaring butterflies within you only grew more ferocious as you followed his long stride throughout the castle. Out of the ballroom and through a cold stone hallway, when you crossed the bridge that linked the two wings over a part of the cliff that descended dramatically, you nearly doubled over the parapet to empty your stomach over the town of Borün that blossomed below. 

But with a shaky intake of breath, your fist closed around the silk of your skirt as you settled yourself and forced your feet to keep moving. Even as you passed the threshold into the eastern part of the castle, you still shadowed the monarch up the many steps until his broad palm held the door to your chambers open for you to enter. 

The fire had been lit while you were gone, and the room was encased in the warm glow. 

“Did, uh…” you heard the door close behind you as the king attempted a bit of small talk, “did you have a nice time tonight?” 

“I did, your majesty,” you kept your answer brief out of fear that he’d hear the tremble to your tone. 

Slowly turning his back to you, his gaze washed over the room, “are you pleased with your bed chambers?” he settled to face the balcony, the door slightly ajar to let the night breeze seep through and rustle the sheer curtains, “because if you don’t like it, if you’d rather have a view of the town then the sea, then that’s an easy problem to fix.” 

“I think the view is just fine from here, but thank you,” you answered politely as you gathered up the last bit of your courage and reached back to undo the long row of buttons that went down the spine of the light blue dress. 

When the silky garment dropped to the floor, the quiet rustle was enough to draw the king’s attention.

First offering you just a quick glance over his shoulder, he then swiftly whirled around completely, “what are you doing?”

Weaving your fingers in the thin material of your chemise, you blinked back at his stunned features, “I’m sorry, am I doing it wrong?” sure that he could already see everything through the sheer, white fabric. 

His feet didn’t move as he asked, “what are trying to do?” before he averted his gaze to the stone floor. 

“Well,” you uttered quietly, “it’s our wedding night.”

“Oh…” was all he breathed. 

“To be transparent, I’m actually not quite sure what’s to happen, but I do know it’s something,” reaching up, you took the gold and twisted circlet, that crowned your head, off and carefully sat it down on the side table to your left, “I don’t know the details, I just know that I should strip down. Do you know what we’re supposed to do?”

“Fuck,” he cursed, briefly squeezing his eyes shut, “yes I do, but, your majesty, please, keep your clothes on,” his gaze flickered back to you as you slowly began to hike up the last layer. 

“Why?” your fingers froze, “isn’t it a tradition here for us to–”

“Well, yes, but–…” he let out a strained sigh before slowly stating, “I’m gonna go.” 

A chill crawled up your skin, “…oh, I see…” you uttered quietly as he crossed the room, “did I do something wrong?”

Halting in the doorway as he ripped it open, “no, you–…” but the rest of his words crumbled as his gaze settled upon you one last time, instead letting a low sigh flow from his lungs, “sleep well,” and added nearly subconsciously just before the door slammed shut, “goodnight, dove.”

Even though a wave of relief washed over you, a sting of hurt also followed suit as the king left. 

Had you done something wrong, or did he just find you that repellent, that hideous, that he refused to perform his marital duties?

© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[damiansgoodgirll]

decided to put this four requests together as they were kinda similar and i had an interesting idea! hope you don’t mind!

damian priest x reader / rhea ripley x reader (platonic) / the judgment day x reader (platonic) / jey uso x sister reader

likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

‼️ brief mention of panic attack, typical wwe violence, angsty and some feels

i’ll look after you

you were currently stressing backstage because your brother had an important match later that night and he wanted you there to support him. it was probably the only monday off of raw that you had and yet, your older brother insisted that you were there for him.

but now you were completely paralysed in front of the small tv screen in your locker room as you saw your best friend rhea and your crush damian priest getting destroyed by the new judgment day.

it was okay until the five of them attacked rhea’s injured leg and damian tried to shield her with his bigger body.

“oh my…” your brain went in autopilot mode. you had to do something. you ran out of the room, ignoring your brother’s calls and sprinted towards the arena.

everyone cheered when they saw you, making the judgment day stop their actions. even if you wanted, you knew that you wouldn’t have been able to stop them. it was you against all of them. that’s when liv got out of the ring and faced you. you had a dark smirk on your face that made liv shiver and before dom or anyone else could do something to stop you, you grabbed her hair a shoved her against the metallic stairs, making her yelp in pain.

dom saw that and while finn and the rest of the team continued their beating on damian, liv was crying on the ground, making dom shove you to the side so he could help her out.

jey saw everything from his changing room. and when he saw dom putting his hands on you, he couldn’t stay there and watch, he knew he had to do something. so he grabbed the first chair he could find and he run towards the ring, making everyone stop their actions on damian.

when the group left, smirking as if they won, you joined your brother inside the ring. you saw him holding rhea’s hand, comforting her and whispering soft words as she was in very much pain. your attention went to damian, who was clearly in pain too.

“hey…” you knelt down next to him “you’re okay…i promise you” you took his face into your hands and gently caressed his cheeks “i’m here…we’re gonna help you…”

“y/n…” damian’s broken voice called you “you shouldn’t have put your health at risk for us”

“i wanted to…” damian looked into your eyes as you said those words, seeing how genuine you were being.

“you’re crazy hermosa…” he whispered, making you chuckle a little. with his face still in your hands, damian took that as an opportunity and gently kissed your hands “thank you…this mean so much to me”

“you don’t have to thank me…” you smiled “we are gonna help you…”

and so, while jey was helping rhea, you were trying to keep damian on his feet, aiding him towards the backstage. his hand on your hip made you shiver but that was no time nor place to think about the effect that damian had on you.

you both let them sat while medical staff checked on them.

“what took you so long!” you whispered to your brother, slightly punching him in the stomach.

“woah! calm down sis! i don’t know…i wasn’t thinking when everything happened” he whispered back.

“your girl is getting beaten by five people and you weren’t thinking?”

“she’s not my girl…” he pouted, making you smile.

“yeah sure…” you smirked.

a couple of minutes later, medical staff told you that there were two ambulances waiting for them outside and that you could go with them if you wanted to.

jey wanted to but he had a match later that night so he told that he would have gone after the show, implying that you were free and would have gone with rhea and damian.

you nodded at the medical staff and they let you in the ambulance with damian. rhea was half unconscious and in much more distress that you didn’t want to bother her, knowing that doctors needed to work on her during the ride at the hospital. damian was sat on the stretcher, still in pain but not as bad as rhea was, even if he took more hits than her this time.

you sat next to him as nurses were working on him.

“we have to cut your shirt off sir” one of the nurses told damian. he simply nodded, letting them doing their jobs.

you tried to look away as damian was sitting half naked next to you. he saw how much you blushed and if it wasn’t for the extreme pain he was in, he would have definitely teased you.

he slightly jumped when one of the nurses touched his red and bruised shoulder “we should help you laying down” she said, making the stretcher more comfortable for damian.

as he laid down, he softly took his hand out, sign that he wanted you to hold him. with a soft look in your eyes, you delicately held his hand, whispering soft words to him.

“you’re okay damian…i’m gonna be here all week if needed to” you said chuckling a little “i’m here for you, always”

“thank you…this means so much for me” he whispered back.

once you arrived at the hospital, both ambulances took rhea and damian in emergency care, leaving you behind. the doctors who took care of them told you that you hat to wait outside for further news but your anxiety wasn’t helping. between not knowing how your brother was doing on his match and having your best friend and biggest crush both under observation, all this stress was taking a big toll on you.

you paced around the waiting room for what it felt like hours. people looking at you, some of them understood your position, others were just giving you weird looks.

you needed to have news about damian and rhea as soon as possible or you were going crazy.

a kind nurse offered you a cup of tea and she helped you sat down in one of the empty chairs in the room. she gave you an understanding nod before going back into emergency.

maybe she was right, you needed to calm yourself. but opening twitter wasn’t helping as all you were seeing on your feed were pictures of rhea and jey as they were holding hands and pictures of you and damian sharing sweet and loving looks.

reading the comments, you agreed with the people who said that rhea and jey were a cute couple. but it felt weird to you that people liked you and damian together too. you knew how his fans were protective of him, especially the girlies who never liked seeing him with friends. you were taken aback from those nice comments towards you.

the tea the nurse gave you helped you relax a little as you close your phone and let your eyes rest for a little. unconsciously you fell asleep, too tired of the events of the night.

a comforting hand gently woke you up, touching your shoulder “hey wake up sis…” your big brother jey softly whispered at you as he was sat next to you.

you yawned a little, opening your eyes “jey…”

“you tired?” he asked and you nodded.

“what time is it? it gotta be pretty late if you are already here..”

jey nodded at you “yeah, i finished the match and went straight here”

the match - you thought. the only reason you were at the arena on your monday off “how did it go? i’m so sorry i fell asleep, i wanted to watch it”

“i won” he said with the biggest grin on his face, almost making you jump in your seat.

“no way! i’m so proud of you! you deserve this! now go get your championship!” you whispered try not to scream as it was pretty late and there were other people around you. your little moment of happiness made him smile.

“ma’am?” one of the doctors that had rhea and damian under observation called you, making you and your brother turn your heads “both miss ripley and mister priest are okay” those words brought you and jey a sigh of relief “they are under medication at the moment but you are both free to see them if you want” you nodded and let the doctor show you rhea and damian’s rooms.

you softly opened his hospital room and you saw him sleeping so you didn’t want to wake him up. you tried to be as more silent as possible as you closed the door and took the seat next to his bed.

about ten minutes later damian tiredly opened his eyes, meeting yours “y/n…”

“hey…” you smiled at him “go back to sleep, the doctor said that you need to rest”

“i wanted to thank you” his raspy voice said “for everything you did today, for me and rhea…”

“shhh…you don’t need to do this and you don’t need to do this now” you moved closer to his bed so now you could grab his hands into yours. he looked at you with such tenderness in his eyes that you felt emotional for a second.

“but it’s true…” his voice raspy but soft.

“damian…go back to sleep”

“i will” he laughed “i’m so tired…remind me to thank your bother too”

“he’s with rhea now” you smiled.

“yeah…they would look good together” he had this tired look on his face that made him look even hotter than he was.

“yeah” you agreed with him.

“i feel like we would look good together too” he said, closing his eyes and smiling at you.

you were taken aback from his words, knowing that it probably was the medication speaking but before you could doubt yourself he spoke again “i’m serious y/n…the way you’re always so kind and supportive with me and rhea…the way you came to me first tonight in the ring…thank you”

you unconsciously smiled at his words “we should talk about this once you’re fully conscious”

“oh we will” he chuckled keeping his eyes closed “i think i love you y/n”

you were lucky he had his eyes closed otherwise he would have bursted out laughing at your speechless face.

“i’m serious…” he yawned “the conversation isn’t over”

“okay…” you whispered kissing his hands again “i’ll be here when you wake up, i’ll look after you damian…”

you kept your promise and waited till he was fully recovered. jey checked on him too and he had the biggest smile on his face when you told him about what damian confessed. he was definitely rooting for you two.

[qrrieterisunnq]

It's nothing - Nico Hischier

nico!hischier x fem!reader Summary: Nico gets injured during the game, which leads to y/n checking him out in the medical room. Nico downplays his injury to make a good impression on Y/n. requested: yes/no A/N: I hope you'll like it, it's unedited so I might change something when I have time to edit the rest of the fics! So just enjoy this fic and happy rest of the day! likes are good, reblogs are better <3 gif, not mine word count: 1,38K warning(s): injured Nico, y/n is an intern, cocky Nico, fluff

masterlist | wip's

The puck is on Nico’s stick as he skates towards the net of the team they’re playing against. They are up for two goals, but they are just in the second period. Nico looks around, looking for his teammates so he can pass them the puck.

On his left is Jack but there are two islanders next to him, so he wouldn’t be able to get the puck. There are other two Luke and Ondřej, but they aren’t in the best position, so the last one is Jasper who is in center with the best chance to shoot a goal.

“Bratter!” he shouts, his thick Swiss accent making Jasper whisp his head in Nico’s direction. With a swift swing of his stick, Nico sends the puck over to him all eyes on Jesper as he shoots on the net getting the puck in the top left corner. The cheers and the bell sound through the arena, and the boys on the ice skate over to Jesper embracing him in a hug and patting his head. “Atta boy!” Nico laughs, patting his helmet.

“God shot, J!” Jack skates over to them, joining the hug. The lineup slowly makes their way to the bench bumping the extended gloves of their teammates.

After their celebration, Nico skates on the faceoffs, taking in a deep breath to calm himself down to win the face-off. As soon as the puck touches the ice, Nico swings his stick the puck sliding behind him on Jack’s stick. He swings his stick, hitting the puck hard as it flies in the net, right between the goalie's legs, but this time, he’s prepared for it and deflects the puck away. Nico skates toward it, but the defenseman on the other team pushes him in the boards. Nico’s shoulder slammed into the boards, and he fell down, staying there as he winced in pain.

The referee immediately whistles announcing penalties, as the boys skate over to Nico. Timo immediately shoves the other player away earning a shove in return.

But Timo's anger and loyalty to Nico won't let him and he shoves him again, the defenceman doesn't like that and gives Timo a hard hit in the face.

The free referee skates over to them trying to get them away from each other. Jack skates towards them hugging Timo around his waist and pulling him away. “YOU SON OF BITCH!” Timo shouts over Jack’s shoulder as he’s dragged away to the bench.

“You okay, Nico?” Ondřej asks Nico as he kneels down beside him.

“My shoulder hurts like a bitch.” Nico whimper, his left hand clutching his right one

“Okay, give me your hand, we’ll get you down to the medical room.” He sighs gripping Nico’s left hand and helping him up on the skates as he skates with him to the bench.

“You okay Nico?” Coach Green asks with concern in his eyes.

“No my shoulder hurts like a bitch!” he curse as he clutches Ondřej’s arm for support.

“I’ll lead him down to the medical room, I’m sure y/n is ready for him.” Coach just nods his head making room for them to leave down the tunnel.

“Y/n! Are you here!” you can hear a voice with a thick accent calling for you. Immediately you run to the door opening and welcome the two players inside the room.

“Yeah! Come in, come in!” you urge them inside pointing towards the table. “Sit on the table Nico and Pally I need you to help him take off the jersey and pads.” You say as you walk over to your table taking the gloves from the box.

“Sure.” He nods his head solely helping Nico to get his jersey from his injured shoulder. “Thanks, O.” Nico breathes out as soon as the jersey is off of him leaving him sitting here in only his pads. “I get the pads you can go back. I need you to win the game!”

“You sure Cap?”

“Yeah positive, go and kick their asses.” Nico goes to move his right arm to extend his fist but winces in pain.

“Hey, Nico, be careful!” you scold him as you walk over to him starting to get his pads off.

“Sorry,” he pouts, a small laugh leaving Ondřej’s lips. “But it’s nothing.”

“Okay, can you please slowly raise your hand up? As soon as it starts hurting you stop okay?” you say when he’s sitting half-naked in front of you.

Nico just nods his head raising his right arm. You watch his face wince in pain but he continues raising it until it is in a vertical position. “It’s nothing, see?” he points to the right arm.

“I’m the one to say if it’s nothing. The boarding looked really nasty so let me do my job here okay?” you smile at him your hands gripping his right arm and getting it down in a normal position. You place your hands on his shoulder, squeezing the right places to find out what is with his shoulder.

“So, how are you enjoying the internship so far?” he asks as you do your job with his shoulder.

“Oh, it's amazing! Really the medical staff here is so welcoming and really helpful when I need something or I don’t know what something is. And of course, you guys are amazing too, you know, free hockey games.” You chuckle a throaty laugh escaping from his lips.

“Oh, are we?” he says cocky smile lingering on his lips. “Yeah, I mean you’re playing amazing,” you look at him when a quiet groan leaves his mouth. He just shakes his head like it's nothing, that it’s not hurting. “Especially you.” You whisper to yourself hoping he won’t hear it. It’s no secret you have a crush on the captain. Lots of the guys noticed how you check him off and the medical staff too.

“Especially me, eh?” he asks his hands landing on your hips as he pulls you between his legs.

“Yeah, and now let me do my job. Your shoulder is dislocated so I need to get it back in its place,” You say shaking his hands off your hips. “So on three, okay?” you prepare him for a pain. Your left hand is resting on his shoulder and your right is holding his biceps so you can pull at it.

“Yeah, you don’t have to count, it won’t hurt, I’m a tough guy.” Smirk finding its way on his lips shrugging you grasp his shoulder harder at the same time as you pull on his biceps getting the shoulder in the right place.

“Oh FUCK!!” he hisses his teeth sinking in his lower lips.

“Tough guy, huh?” you smirk at him patting his tight as you walk over to the table for bandage.

“Very funny y/n, really.” He says taking in deep breath, and just watching y/n do her job. He had this intense crush on her since she started her internship here only a few weeks ago.

“What, I thought you said it wouldn’t hurt!” you giggle as you carefully bandage his shoulder. “Okay, tough guy! You can go on the ice, but be careful with it. One bag hit in the shoulder and you might end up here again.” You smile at him when you’re done and fuck…your smile is so fucking cute and he just wants that full plump lips on his.

“Oh, don’t worry, I wouldn’t mind ending up in here again.” Nico puts his pads back on his shoulders and arms, covering his toned muscular chest. You pout at it, shaking your head at yourself.

“Yeah, good one. Now go on that ice and kick some asses. And for a record, don’t try to downplay your injury just to make a good impression on someone, tough guy.” You motion your hand towards the ice and turn away to take off your gloves and write something on the computer.

“Okay, thanks for the advice miss intern.” He salutes and walks from the medical room, only to come back. “And by the way, tomorrow, you and me, dinner! I’ll pick you up at eight.” He sends you a wink, causing your cheeks to turn red. Before you can say anything, he’s running down the tunnel to the ice. You just shake your head at him, sitting down on your chair, your cheeks still bright red and your thoughts already on tomorrow and the dinner.

[hopepetal]

Hi! It's been a while, hasn't it?

@applestruda, @periwinklemoonlight, and I have been working on arc three of the boatem knights au for quite a while now. We hope you enjoy it :)

At the moment, the second chapter is not ready for posting, so it won't be out for a while.

Boatem Knights AU fic masterlist

Read on AO3!

Reblogs and comments are much appreciated :)

His nightmares hadn’t gone away.

Feathers rustling in the wind, Grian gazed up toward the night sky. Sighing heavily, he glanced back toward Pearl’s tent. She had offered for him to join her many times– avians were highly sociable after all, and often slept in the same nest– but he’d refused. He wouldn’t want to wake her up as well.

It didn’t make sense. 

Dreams of a desert, of cold silver skin, of red eyes and names and flowers and blood. And every day they’d gotten worse. More vivid.

Whatever it was, it wasn’t something Grian had the energy to figure out right now. He needed sleep.

He stood up and walked back to his own tent, and settled down for what would be another restless night.

And he hadn’t woken up the next day. 

Or the day after that. 

Or the day after that. 

The first day Grian slept through, Pearl hadn’t been too worried. With how bad her brother’s insomnia could get, it wasn’t a rare occurrence for him to not get enough sleep during the night and then make up for it during the day. She’d checked in on him, of course, and smiled softly at the sight of him curled up in his blankets, wings resting on either side of him as he smushed his face into the pillow. 

“He probably just had a rough night,” she mentioned to the others during lunch, “I wouldn’t bother him.”

Mumbo looked up, frowning slightly. “Hasn’t he mentioned having nightmares for a while now? Maybe that’s what’s been keeping him up.”

Pearl nodded, wings fluttering anxiously behind her. “Yeah. The last few months have been rough on him.”

“I think it’s from all the building we have to do,” Scar piped up. “Trying to finish the lodge has been a nightmare.”

“We’re almost done!” Pearl argued, optimistic as ever. “Just a little more, then we’re all set!”

Mumbo slumped back in his seat, letting out a soft huff. “Can’t we just leave it as is? I think it’s perfectly well done.” 

Scar raised an eyebrow, leaning back with a smirk. “I think you just don’t like building, mister.”

Mumbo rolled his eyes, though he was unable to hold back a grin. “Well, it’s certainly not my favorite activity. I’d much rather be–”

“–working on your redstone, we know.” Impulse chuckled, shaking his head. “Unless you want to be buried in snow by the time winter comes around, we probably shouldn’t be calling the lodge ‘perfectly well done’.”

Mumbo grumbled a little at that, much to the amusement of the others. “Look, I’ll do my tasks and everything, but I’m not happy about it!” 

Pearl laughed, leaning against the table. “You gotta weigh your options, mate. Either build the lodge now, or be wet and freezing during the winter. Which one would you prefer?”

“Well, when you put it that way…”

The knights quickly finished lunch after that, making small talk as they cleaned and put away the dishes. The leftovers from lunch were stored away for later, placed in the shed they had built a while back so that the wild animals wouldn’t be able to get into their food.

“Same duties as earlier?” Impulse asked Pearl as they all made their way to the half-finished lodge. 

Pearl nodded, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. “I don’t see why we would change them. I’ll take on Grian’s duties on top of mine, though I can’t promise I’ll be as fast.”

“Good thing we’re so ahead of schedule, then!” Scar piped up. “It’s a lot easier to focus on one thing instead of a whole bunch of tiny tasks.”

Pearl laughed, her wings fluttering in amusement. “That, and we’re all insanely fast builders. Who would’ve thought?”

Impulse grinned. “Well, I’m just naturally good at everything I do, so I’m not surprised.”

Laughing and joking, the four went about completing their tasks. The sounds of construction filled the air, conversation occasionally popping up alongside it. As the day progressed, it began to get hotter and hotter, construction slowing down as it did so.

Finally, the sun began to set, and their long day of work was called to an end by Mumbo. It was just routine at this point– the knights would work until the sun began to set and then they’d all gather at the west end of camp to watch the sun go down. Mumbo was always the quickest to put away his tools, and today was no different. Impulse and Scar went to join him, while Pearl slipped off to go check on her brother. Just as she had expected, he had barely moved from his sleeping position, only shifted slightly in a likely effort to get more comfortable. She pulled up one of the ottomans, settling down next to his bed. 

Reaching out, Pearl gently brushed some hair out of her brother's warm face, smiling slightly. “Heyyy, Griba,” she murmured, softly so that she wouldn't startle him if he wasn't fully asleep, “you doing alright, mate? You've been asleep all day.” No response. He must've been really out of it. “Well, I brought some food and fresh water. It’ll be on the side table for when you wake up– you must be pretty hungry.” She sighed softly, leaning back. “Well, I’m exhausted. I’ll see you tomorrow, Griba. I love you.” 

Standing, Pearl quietly left the tent and joined the other knights to watch the sun finish setting. She settled down next to Scar, leaning against him with a sigh. The grass was soft against her skin as she sat and tried to relax, breathing in the fresh air and exhaling the anxiety that was building in her chest. Her whole body ached from the exertion of a day spent building, and the cool night air that brushed against her skin and wove through her hair was a welcome relief from the end of summer heat. 

Scar glanced over at Pearl, giving her his signature crooked smile. “How’s our sleeping friend holding up?” he asked.

Pearl sighed softly, closing her eyes briefly. “Still sleepin’ the day away,” she answered. “I dropped off some food and water in case he wakes up and needs something. I'm glad he’s getting rest, though. I think I’m gonna keep him from helping us work on the lodge for a bit, though. It can’t be good for him to be exhausted and pushing himself like that.”

“Agreed.” Impulse stretched before running a hand through his hair, carefully avoiding his horns. “It’s hard work we’re doing here, man. Kinda wish Skizz could’ve stayed a little longer to help out, but I guess a man’s gotta do his job.”

“And Tango’s been busy,” Scar added, “apparently he's workin’ on a super secret fly-ification project, whatever that means.”

“Sounds terrifying,” Pearl laughed, Impulse nodding along in agreement. Mumbo’s attention seemed to have been caught by that, and he perked up.

“A project? Do you think he’d let me take a look? I know he had mentioned a few things about combining redstone and engineering and really, it was quite fascinating and we had a truly intriguing discussion on…” Mumbo trailed off, noticing how Pearl and Scar were just staring at him. “...well, Impulse gets me!” he flusteredly got out, and the others began to laugh. 

Impulse smiled, chuckling. The light from the setting sun reflected off his piercings, causing them to shine when they caught the light. “That I do, buddy. That I do.”

Mumbo blinked. “Well. Alright, then.”

Pearl stood as the sun finally dipped below the horizon, stretching her wings as the shadows began to grow over the land. “I don’t know about you, but I am absolutely exhausted. I’m heading off to bed. Good night!” She spread her wings and took off, flying low over the ground until she reached her tent. She landed softly, ducking into her tent and changing into her night clothes– soft blue pajamas with stars and little crescent moons. 

Sleep called her name, and Pearl felt the weight of exhaustion pulling her down. She climbed into bed, settling on her stomach and wrapping her arms around the soft pillow. She’d just barely closed her eyes before sleep descended like a soft blanket, and she drifted into unconsciousness.

Grian didn’t wake up the next day. 

When Pearl woke, her limbs still somewhat sore from the day before, she went to check in on Grian before she started her morning chores. He wasn’t up, which meant he hadn’t woken up during the night and stayed up until dawn (again). Pearl was still a little concerned nonetheless, and rushed through her morning chores so that she could go check on Grian. 

When she peeked into his tent, her worry increased at the fact that he hadn’t touched his food or water, and had barely moved from the sleeping position she’d last seen him in. “Griba?” she called softly, “Griba, hey. Are you up?” Upon receiving no answer, she carefully crept forward and placed a gentle hand against his head. 

Oh, no.

Grian had a fever. 

“Griba.” She gently shook him. “Griba. Grian. Grian. Wake up.” Her voice became more frantic as her brother continued to be unresponsive, anxiety spiking in her chest as she tried to wake him. “Please. Don’t do this. Don’t do this, Grian. Please.” 

Still, nothing. 

Pearl’s gaze went to the side table, and she stumbled over, grabbing the pen and some blank paper that had been sitting there. Quickly, she wrote down a message to Cub, trying to keep her hands from shaking as she did so. 

Cub,

I’ve been sending quite a few letters lately and I hate to bother you once more, but Grian is sick. He isn’t waking up, and he slept all through yesterday as well. When I checked on him this morning, he was burning up. I’ve tried waking him up, but he hasn’t even responded. 

Please come as soon as you can. 

Pearl

She began folding the paper as she ducked out Grian’s tent, almost running into Scar as she did so. “Ah! Oh, mate, careful!” 

Scar laughed softly, pressing his hands to his chest. “You scared me, Pearl!” he retorted, taking a moment to calm himself down. He caught sight of the paper in Pearl's hands. “Sending another letter, are we?” he asked. “More moth mail?”

Pearl, despite the anxiety she was currently feeling, had to smile. Rolling her eyes, she responded, “We’re not calling it moth mail, Scar.” She closed her eyes and breathed out, pushing her magic into the paper. It took the form of a moth, glowing with enchantments, and flew off. She was quiet for a moment with Scar as they watched it fly off, before sighing. “Grian’s sick,” she told him, “and he’s not waking up. I was just sending a letter to Cub to ask him to come up and check on him.”

Scar frowned, humming thoughtfully. “And this isn’t just Grian being Grian?” he asked, but Pearl shook her head. 

“He’s not waking up, and he’s running a fever. Which, if he was even responding a tiny bit, would be fine, but he’s not even– it’s like he can’t hear me at all. Normally he’d at least have woken up a little and smacked me away or something, but…” Pearl shook her head. “Nothing. He was just… sleeping.” 

“Should we let the other two know?” Scar asked, gesturing with his head over to where Impulse and Mumbo were. They were working on the lodge once more– Mumbo, struggling to walk with the heavy materials and Impulse, carrying as much as he could and encouraging Mumbo on with a smile and kind words. 

Pearl nodded, already starting to walk toward them. “Absolutely. C’mon, mate!” 

Scar jogged over until he was walking by Pearl's side. “Hey! Mister Mumbo Jumbo! Impulse! Hey!” he shouted, waving his arms over his head. “Over here!”

Pearl laughed, shaking her head slightly. “Scar, no need to shout. They’re right there.” Her wings fluttered anxiously behind her as they approached Mumbo and Impulse. “Hey, you two.”

Impulse set down the logs he had been carrying, and Mumbo did the same before collapsing into the grass. “Heya Pearl,” Impulse greeted, “what’s up?”

“Not good news, unfortunately.” The mood sombered up as soon as those words left Pearl's mouth. “Grian’s sick, and he’s not waking up. I sent a message to Cub, but I’m gonna run to the village real quick to grab some general medicine and such. I meant to get some on the next trip, but…” She trailed off. “Clearly, we need them now.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Impulse offered, to which Pearl shook her head. 

“I’ll be flying. It’s faster that way.” Pearl glanced over at Scar, who had joined Mumbo in the grass. “Can you three keep watch over Griba and the camp while I’m gone? Oh, and keep an eye out for a response to the letter I sent to Cub– it’ll be coming back as an enchanted moth, you know what they look like. I don’t think he’ll be sending you a response this quick, but better alert than caught sleeping.” She coughed slightly. “Uh. Excuse the irony of that wording. It’s just a phrase.”

Impulse nodded. “Don’t worry about a thing, Pearl. We’ve got things handled here. Go and get the medicine.”

Scar stood, helping Mumbo up as well. “Yeah! We’ll stop working on the lodge for a bit while this whole thing is goin’ on. Grian’s more important than a building, anyway.”

Pearl heaved a sigh of relief, smiling softly. “Oh, thank you all. This means a lot.” She stretched, spreading her wings and fluttering them slightly before relaxing. “Right. I’ll be off then. Stay out of trouble, ya hear?”

Scar saluted. “Aye aye!” 

With that, Pearl took off, flying over the camp and toward the village. Worry settled uneasily in her stomach, squeezing her chest as she tried to not spiral into an anxiety attack. It would not be good to do that while flying, she figured. 

Grian would be fine. Grian would be– he was fine, he was just sick and once he got rest everything would go back to normal. They’d continue building the lodge and get it done before winter and then they’d move on to their next adventure. 

Yeah.

Everything was going to be fine. 

In a house surrounded by much more greenery than the canyon that it sat in, Cub was working on a very dangerous project. 

Well, it wasn’t dangerous– as long as he took proper care when he was around it and made sure to wear protective gear, of course. A mask fit snugly over his mouth and nose, and he wore elbow long gloves with his lab coat sleeves tucked into them to make sure there was zero possibility of the subject of his experiment touching his skin. 

Holding up the blue-green mold (sculk, the book had called it) up to the light with a pair of tweezers, Cub squinted. It appeared to almost have a sort of heartbeat, he noticed, as it pulsed rhythmically. It might’ve grossed some out, but it made Cub grin. This was so exciting. He had only heard of sculk before, from ancient books and harrowed miners who had narrowly escaped death. To be able to study it like this, up close… it was a dream come true.

Cub jotted down some more notes with one hand, holding up the sculk with his other hand. His attention divided, focus solely locked in on the things he was writing, it was no wonder he got startled by the enchanted paper moth that landed on his desk. He dropped the tweezers with a loud swear, the sculk landing in his lap. No matter– he simply picked it back up with his gloved hands and put it back into its container, sealing it away. He then carefully unfolded the moth, recognizing instantly Pearl's handwriting. 

He frowned as he read the letter, before sighing heavily. “I really can’t leave them alone for five minutes, can I?” Glancing back down at his desk, Cub bit his lip, weighing his options in his head. He really had to finish this current experiment in a certain time frame, and Grian was a healthy man (and a Watcher, besides!). He’d be fine if he had to wait for a little while longer. 

He went and wrote a response on the back of the letter Pearl had sent, chuckling slightly at how his handwriting compared to Pearl’s. 

Pearl,

I’ll be there as soon as I finish up what I was doing. I assume it’ll take me quite some time, so I’ll head out early tomorrow morning. Keep an eye on Grian, give him some medicine and try to get some fluids into him. 

Don’t panic. Remember what I’ve been telling you in our letters– take a deep breath, calm yourself, and try not to let your thoughts spiral. You’re doing a great job. 

Cub

He carefully folded the paper back up, watching as the magic Pearl imbued into it activated, and the moth sprang to life before fluttering off in the direction it came from. Cub’s sharp eyesight caught the moment it burst into purple sparks of magic and sped off into the distance– “moth mail” always fascinated him. It was clearly a concept Pearl had either made up or been taught, and he’d have to ask her some more questions about it later. 

But for now, the sculk called his name. 

It took a little longer than expected to finish up the experiment, but Cub always stayed true to his word. The next day, he woke up with the gray light of dawn and gathered his things, taking care to lock his door before leaving. 

The sun began to rise as Cub started down the familiar path to the camp.

You know how this story goes, by now. 

Grian didn’t wake up the next day. 

Pearl did her best to follow the advice in Cub’s letter– give Grian fluids, take deep breaths, try not to spiral, try not to spiral, try not to–

She was fine. She was fine. 

…which was why she ended up breaking down into tears when Scar asked her how she was feeling, and felt his arms wrap around her and pull her close. “I’m– I’m sorry, I just–” She gasped for air, squeezing her eyes shut tight as hot tears cooled on her skin. Her hands were trembling as she wrung them together, trying to lean into Scar’s calming presence. 

Scar gently shushed her, carefully patting her back between her wings as he tried to soothe her. “It’s a stressful situation, Pearl,” he murmured, his voice quiet and comforting. “It’s okay to be scared. Did you wanna send a letter to Jimmy or something? I’m sure he would be more than willing to come on up for a little bit to help out.” As he spoke, he pulled away from the hug and summoned Jellie, setting the furry blue familiar on Pearl’s lap. “Pet the Jellie. You’ll feel better.”

Pearl smiled weakly through her tears, beginning to gently stroke Jellie’s fur. She felt the tension begin to leave her body as Jellie started purring, her breathing evening out as the cat curled up on her lap. “No… no, Jimmy worries more than I do, I don’t think it would be good to stress him out over this… because it’ll be fine. It’s going to be fine.”

Scar nodded. “Right you are, Pearl. It’s gonna be just fine. G’s just taking a big ol’ nap right now, sleepin’ off that nasty fever of his. Give him a little longer and he’ll be just like new. Cub will help him out and then he’ll get rid of that darn sickness in no time!”

Mumbo, who was sitting nearby, leaned forward. “Scar is right, you know. This isn’t the first time one of us has come down with a nasty illness of some sort. Grian just needs a little care and rest, I’m sure!”

Pearl nodded, taking in deep breaths as she continued to idly pet Jellie, wiping stray tears from her face. “Thanks, Scar. Mumbo. I needed that.”

Scar smiled reassuringly, giving her a thumbs up. “No problem, Pearl.”

Mumbo simply nodded, smiling. “Of course, mate.”

It wasn’t long after that Cub finally walked out of Grian’s tent, his expression kept carefully neutral. “Hey, you three. Pearl, could I speak with you?”

Pearl nodded, anxiety spiking once more as she prepared herself for whatever Cub was about to tell her. “Yeah. Of course. Scar, do you mind…?” She gestured toward Grian’s tent with a slight nod, standing up from where she had been sitting next to Scar in the grass and handing him Jellie.

Scar jumped up as well, brushing off his pants before taking Jellie and quietly dismissing his familiar. “Of course, my dear Pearl! I’ll keep a close eye on G.” Scar ducked into Grian's tent, going to take a seat on the ottoman that had remained pulled up next to Grian’s bed. He settled himself down, letting out a soft sigh and leaning forward. 

There was a moment of silence. 

“Y’know, G, this isn’t funny anymore.” Scar swallowed dryly, licking his cracked lips. “I’m all for pranks and stuff, but this is going too far. Pearl’s upset, Mumbo is worried, Impulse is trying to keep the other two calm, and I’m…” He shook his head. “C’mon, G. Please.” His voice cracked on the last word. “Please.” 

No response. Of course. Grian was asleep, why would he respond? 

“I mean, really. It's like you’ve been cursed or something,” he weakly joked, before the thought really hit him. Could Grian have been…?

Scar closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and shifted into his vex form. 

The smell of magic, powerful and wrong, was so strong Scar nearly gagged. He stumbled back, eyes widening as he realized that the magic was coming from Grian, wrapping around his body and curling around his throat. 

Slowly, hesitantly, Scar approached Grian and knelt by the bed. Reaching out, he carefully opened one of Grian’s eyes with his hand. 

Purple. 

Grian’s eyes were glowing purple. 

Scar felt the magic suddenly recede, drawing into Grian like the water being pulled back into the sea. With a sharp inhale, he stumbled back, shifting out of his vex form as he burst out from the tent. “Guys!” he yelled, “guys, something's wrong with–!”

Grian’s magic exploded outwards.

Pearl screamed, lunging forward as she shifted into her Watcher form, wrapping her arms around the only person close enough for her to protect– Mumbo. The two fell to the ground, surrounded by a translucent magic shield that glowed in blue and silver hues. All around them, purple magic swirled and raged like a storm, and all they were able to do was watch as Impulse and Scar collapsed. 

Cub was pushed to his knees, vex form flickering as his own shield began to crack around him. The magic howled in a screeching voice, swirling around Cub’s shield in an attempt to break through and take him as well. 

“Pearl–!” Mumbo cried out, clinging to her tightly. He was pressed against the ground and could hardly see past Pearl, but what he could see terrified him. Pearl’s shield was beginning to give under the incessant pushing of Grian’s out of control magic, and there was nothing he could do but watch.

Pearl bit out a sob, holding Mumbo close. The strain of fighting against her brother’s magic had her gasping, grabbing for any and all energy she had to pour into the shield around her and Mumbo. Raising her head, guilt and fear filled her chest as she caught sight of Impulse and Scar, limp on the ground. She could only pray that they were okay. That they were alive. 

The magic like raging wind reached a peak, screaming so loud Pearl’s sensitive ears ached. And just like that, it was over.

Pearl, Cub, and Mumbo were the only ones awake when their shields came down.

All across the realm, Grian’s magic reached out and pulled others into a deep sleep. A king and his hand, alongside his best soldier. A huntsman. A time wizard, armorer, and a friend of the nearby innkeep. A man who guided others through the mountains. An avian, netherborn, and a man who sold flowers. 

One by one, they were surrounded by purple magic, angry and screaming and wanting. And one by one, they all fell asleep. 

Grian woke up to impossibly familiar faces and one objective: survive. 

He pushed himself up from the ground, shaking his head slightly to clear the fuzz as he looked around at the gathered group. “Welcome to Third Life,” he greeted in a voice that wasn’t quite his own, with words he wasn’t sure how he knew. “You all have three lives. Once you lose your last life, you are out.”

Confusion and concern echoed from those around him, and Grian raised his voice. “When you are on your last life– your red life– you will become hostile. All previous alliances will be broken.”

A deep breath.

“Good luck.”

[bloatedandalone04]

Tattooed On His Arm

➪the one where a.j. finally gets the money for your treatment, but at a cost.

Warnings: spoilers, angst, fluff, swearing, mentions of blood, stress, mentions of death, death, hospital themes, illness, heists, all that fun stuff, kissing, a.j. being whipped for you like last time, heavy topics

Word Count: 3.1k | Part 1

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

“I want you to stay here for the entire day, okay?” A.J. stated as he packed his duffle bag. 

You cross your arms and lean against the doorway. “I cannot believe you’re asking me to do that,”

“I’m not asking, baby,” he says and zips the bag up, standing to his full height. “I’m telling you.”

You raise a brow and give him a pointed look, making him sigh as he picks the bag up. 

“I need you to be safe, and right here is safe,” 

You huff, moving to push past him. “I thought I was safe with you,” 

A.J. didn’t let you get far after that harsh dig as he grabbed your arm before you could walk away from him. “You know what I mean,” he said sternly. “And you know the exact reason why I’m doing this.” 

You immediately feel guilty and scared and nervous all at once, and you feel like you need to sit down at the sudden wave of nausea that passes through you. A.J. is doing this for you, and that thought terrified every cell in your body. 

Sighing, you uncross your arms and press yourself against his chest, your hands moving to slide up his back. “I’m sorry, Jay,” you murmured. “I’m acting like a child, I know.”

A.J. dropped the bag and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you tighter against him. “You’re not, baby,” he assured you, kissing the top of your head a few times. “It’s alright. I know I’m asking for a lot from you, and I know I wouldn’t be okay if you asked me to stay here while you went out and did something like this. But I need you far away from it all, okay? Just until it’s over, then we’ll get you back in the hospital for your final few weeks of treatment. It’ll all be over soon.”

You nod and pull away, standing on the tips of your toes to be able to kiss him. “I need you to be careful, okay? I need you to come back to me,” you whisper against his lips. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he promised. “And I’ll be careful. All of this is for you, so of course I’m going to be careful. I need you, everyday.” 

You nod again, blinking away your tears as you jump up and wrap your legs around his middle. He caught you easily, his hands holding onto your thighs as he carried you over to the king sized bed you and he shared. “I need you, too,” you mumble as he lays you down and hovers over you. “I love you.”

A.J. leans down and kisses you deeply, his hand reaching down to grab hold of yours. “I love you so much,” he says back, bringing your joined hands up and kissing the back of yours. “You’re everything to me.”

You smile at him, using your free hand to run your fingers through his hair. “I’ll be waiting for you,” 

He returns the smile, leaning down to kiss you once more before standing up. His hand falls from yours as he gets off the bed and leans down to grab his bag. “I’ll be back before you know it, then you and I are starting fresh,” he says. “Sound good?”

You nod and nuzzle against his pillow. “Sounds good,” you quietly reply. 

A.J. swings the bag over his shoulder before focusing his gaze on your tired eyes, a small frown forming on his lips at how out of it you looked. “Maybe you should try and get some sleep,” he suggests. “I know you had a hard time falling asleep last night.”

You shrugged, wrapping your arms around his pillow and inhaling the scent that only belonged to him. “It just hurt last night,” 

He nods slowly, softening his stare. “And that is why I’m doing this,” he says. “I can’t stand to see you in any more pain, pretty girl. No more after this.”

-

Despite meaning to be aware and awake when A.J. returned home, your pain meds kicked in quickly today and you ended up falling asleep only a half hour after he left. He was right, you got a terrible sleep last night and ended up passing out for the entire duration of the heist. 

You were still fast asleep when A.J. crept into the room and set his bag down, forgoing his previous task of washing away the dirt and gunpowder from his body to instead lay next to you. 

As soon as he got into bed next to you, your body stirred and almost instantly you were moving towards him. Even asleep you were so responsive to him, and he couldn’t help but grin down at you. 

Not being able to stop himself, he leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead, and even though it was feather-light, you still woke up. He watched you blink a few times before registering the fact that he was next to you, your eyes wide as you wrapped your arms around him. “A.J.,” you gasped, relief evident in your voice as you clung onto him. “You’re back.”

“I’m back,” he confirmed, wrapping his arms around your weak body as gently as he could. 

“I was so worried,” you admit, lazily stroking his tattoo of your name with your thumb.

“I told you I’d be careful,” he grinned. “Have you been asleep the whole time?”

Nodding shyly, you move even closer to him and ignore the ache you felt in your body. “It hurts a bit more today,” you inform him. “I took my meds and they put me to sleep pretty much right away. I wanted to be awake when you got home.”

A.J. furrows his brows, running a hand up and down your back in a barely-there touch. Your body was weakening as the days went on, and your condition was rapidly declining, but now that he finally had the money he needed to make you better, he knew you would bounce back within the next six months or so. 

“Okay, that’s alright,” he assured you, brushing away your hair from your face. “It’s alright. Everything is going to be fine now, baby. I promise.”

You nod up at him, couching quietly and swallowing the small amount of blood that pooled in your mouth. 

A.J. noted the red on your teeth and felt his heart break a bit. You truly didn’t deserve to feel any of the pain you were feeling, and had been suffering from for so long now. “The guys invited me to a hotel to sort through all we got today,” he began, feeling the way your body tensed against his in dread. “But I’m not going. I brought home what I grabbed and I’m using it to pay for your next treatment. Fuck sorting through it.”

You sigh in relief and nuzzle closer to him. “I love you, Jay,” you whispered, bunching up his stained shirt in your fingers. “Thank you…for everything.”

“You’re my whole world, Y/n/n,” he said back, just as quietly, his hand coming up to spin the ring on your finger. “I love you more than anything else. I promised I’d protect you, and that’s exactly what I plan on doing, starting with a call to your doctor.”

You hum, kissing his jaw. “Tomorrow,” you request and he opens his mouth to object but you quickly continue, “Please? I just want to spend the rest of the day with you, right here in our bed. Please, Jay?”

And you knew he could never say no to you. “Okay, pretty girl,” he agreed, kissing your forehead and pulling you close to him. “But I’m booking your appointment first thing tomorrow morning.”

-

A.J.’s leg bounces uncontrollably as he sat on the uncomfortable chair in the waiting room. 

His white shirt he had gone to bed in last night was stained red, as were his hands as he had not been able to think straight enough for him to decide he should probably go wash them. 

His phone was on the small table beside him, all of his calls to Jake having gone unanswered. He didn’t know who else to call or who else to seek comfort in except you, but you couldn’t provide him with any as the image of you being whisked away on a stretcher filled his mind again. 

Just a couple hours ago A.J. had woken up to find your body still on top of his, but you weren’t moving. You were hardly breathing and that was when he saw all the blood that had poured from your mouth and stained both his shirt and the sheets. 

He had you in his arms instantly and carried you to his car, all while being on the phone with your doctor, who told him to bring you to the hospital immediately. A’J.’s head was a fuzzy mess as he practically ran through the emergency doors, his grip on you tight as he felt your breathing begin to slow even more. 

He was helpless as he watched the doctors pry you from his arms and take you into the ER without being given so much as a clue to what happened. 

You were fine when he fell asleep with you. You were okay, but clearly not. 

A.J. wasn’t sure how to function as he pulled his phone out and called his best friend about twenty times, but didn’t ever get an answer. 

It was then, as he was escorted into the waiting room, where he discovered why.

The small TV hung in the corner of the room was set to the news channel, the same one you had called into not even a week earlier, and displayed the names and pictures of his friends, along with the headline ���Gang of burglars finally caught and killed after shootout with police’. 

Ghost, Jesse and Jake’s pictures were shown and A.J. felt like he no longer knew how to breathe. 

Jake was dead. His best friend is dead. You were dying. 

How did this happen?

When an aerial view was displayed on the screen and showed the very hotel A.J. was supposed to be at last night, he knew they had been set up. Ghost had led them into a trap and had planned their deaths from the second he was put behind bars. 

A.J. was supposed to be smart. He was supposed to be the one with the brains. He should’ve seen this coming, but he was blinded by the chance to get the money and save your life. 

Now Jake was dead, and John and Gordon were nowhere to be found. 

A.J. had been sitting here for far too long, and no one was giving him any updates. He had more than enough of the silence as he stood up and made his way over to the receptionist desk within three strides. “I need you to tell me what’s going on,” he told the lady, who looked to be in her fifties. “Now. Right now.” He reiterated when she just looked up at him.

“I’m going to need you to calm down, sir, and keep your voice down. There are others waiting, too,” she spoke calmly and A.J. wanted to throw her across the room. 

He held back. “I don’t give a fuck,” he seethed, getsuring to his bloody shirt and hands. “I need you to tell me what the fuck happened to my girlfriend.”

The lady opened her mouth to scold him again when your doctor finally entered the room, a mask pulled down to his chin and his gloves halfway off. “A.J.,” he called out. “That’s enough.”

A.J. stepped away from the desk instantly and made his way over to the man. “What happened? What’s wrong with her? Is she okay?”

Doctor Hart sighed and held his gloves in one hand. “She’s stable,” he informed A.J. “We had to perform emergency surgery on her, but her body reacted nicely. She’s in recovery now.”

A.J. nodded and felt the first bit of relief fill his body since waking up. “Is she okay?” He asked quietly, his heartbeat still loud in his ears.

“She’s recovering,” came his vague answer. “I have to ask, did something happen in the last twenty four hours?”

The question had A.J.’s brows furrowing. “What do you mean?”

“Y/n’s body was seriously distressed. Her blood pressure was abnormally high and her fluid levels were low,” Hart says. “Did something occur yesterday that made her become stressed out or anxious?” 

A.J.’s face paled at that and he stepped away. 

Fuck.

Had he really almost stressed you out into an early grave?

Why didn’t you tell him about it?

How did he not see the signs?

“Not that I’m aware of,” he lied and hated how easy it was. “Ken, she needs to go through with that treatment you told us about the last time we were here. I have the money saved up, so that won’t be a problem anymore. I just need her to be okay.”

Doctor Hart nods and mumbles something to the receptionist lady A.J. was yelling at a few seconds ago. “We’ll need to go over it with Miss Y/l/n when she wakes up, but I don’t see why she would refuse to go further in her treatment. We have a few openings at the end of this week,” he says. “We’ll discuss it with Y/n then book the appointment.”

A.J. nods, giving the lady a guilty and forced smile as he reached over and patted Hart on the shoulder. “Okay. Okay, great, thanks,” he says, holding his hands up. They were still covered in your dried blood. “Where can I-”

“Down the hall,” Ken answered. “First door on the left. I’ll inform you when you can see her.”

“Thank you,” he nods at both Ken and the receptionist, “Thanks.”

Then he was off to wipe away the physical proof of what his actions nearly caused. 

-

“Gordon and I are off. We didn’t mention you at all, so two should be fine,” John spoke through the phone. A.J. nodded even though he couldn’t see him, lifting his freehand up and running it through his hair. “Be careful, brother. Stay safe. No more heists. You’ve got more than enough money to get by with for the rest of your life. I’ll be seeing you.”

And then the call disconnected as the two remaining group members left the city, and A.J. was alone. His hand fell back to his side as he stared out the tall window in the living room, his eyes raking over the busy street below him. 

Without the guys around it felt more quiet here. Jake, Jesse, Gordon and John were pretty much the only constants in his life, so to have half of them gone and half of them dead was going to be a tough one to move past. 

“Jay? Is everything alright?” 

At least he still has you. 

A.J. turns and looks over at where you were leaning against the bedroom door frame. He smiles, reaching his arm out to you and beckoning you over to him. “C’mere, pretty girl,” 

You push off the frame and make your way over to him, your body only covered by one of his old t-shirts that reached your midthigh. “What’s wrong?” You ask when you reach him, resting your hand on his chest as he pulls you into his side. 

“Nothing,” he answered, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “Things are going to be really different now. John and Gordon left…Jesse and Jake…it’s just you and I now.”

You bite your lip and press your face against his chest. “I miss Jake, too,” you confess. “I’m sorry about what happened….but that could’ve been you, Jay. It was supposed to be you. Ghost set you all up and he was going to have you killed, too, I… I don’t want to think about that.”

When your face scrunched up in a telltale sign that you were going to cry, A.J. pulled you into his arms and shielded your face in the crook of his neck. “I don’t want to think about it, either,” he says, kissing the side of your head. “Let’s just not talk about it, okay? It’s too much right now. Especially since I almost lost you, too.”

You look up at him with guilty eyes. “I’m sorry,” you say again. “I should’ve told you how bad it had gotten, but I didn’t want to distract you.”

A.J. shook his head, reaching a hand up to caress the side of your face. “I need you to tell me these things, baby,” he begged. “I nearly had a panic attack when I woke up and saw all the blood. I thought I already lost you, then I saw Jake on the news. I thought I lost you both.”

“You won’t lose me, Jay,” you promised. “You won’t. In a few more days I’ll feel better than I have in years, all thanks to you and Jake and the guys. You saved my life, A.J. More than once and I can never repay you for that.”

He kissed you deeply, pulling you closer to him. “It’s my job to protect you, angel,” he said once he pulled away from the kiss. “I always will. You don’t need to thank me for that. Just never scare me like that ever again. I can’t do this without you.”

“I won’t,” you kiss him again. “I promise, I won’t.”

“Tell me if things get bad again. Tell me the second you start to feel like that again,” he begged between kisses, so caught up in the thought of nearly having to live his life without you in it. He still felt fucked up at the image of you and him covered in your blood, and at the the thought of being completely alone for the first time in a long time. He wasn’t kidding when he said he couldn’t live without you, and he hated that he came so close to that reality because he put so much stress on you. “Promise me.”

“I promise,” you say again, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He lifted you up slightly as you kissed him more deeply than before, his arms locking around your waist. “I promise.”

[kurishiri]

01 . . . the past records ˗ˏˋ🍎🪞´ˎ˗

— this translation may not be 100% accurate or may contain creative liberties. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost or claim these as your own!

— cw: mentions of perversion toward a child, mentions of alcohol, poison.

This is a story from a little before a certain little robin had wandered into the dark night——

Liam: Hey, Al, what’re you looking at? Photos?

Alfons: Indeed, from when Lord Elbie was little. I found it while looking around his room for items of monetary value, out of necessity.

Liam: Waow, look at that angel.

Within the album Alfons had open, there were many photos of Elbert.

Alfons: This was from the time a photographer had come in — uninvited — to the Greetia estate, saying that he wanted to capture Elbie in a photo.

A: He was not allowed to make a single movement, so he was so stiff. He was quite miserable back then.

A: And this is a picture from when he was ten years old.

A: ‘We must have him wear cute clothes while he is still this cute,’ was what some perverted ladies had said before making him wear a dress.

A: That said, I can’t deny that he certainly was cute back then.

Liam: The fact you know all this means you were with Lord Elbie at the time, right?

Alfons: Yes, more or less.

Liam: Hm? But wait a minute, I see there are a lot of pictures of Lord Elbie, but there are none of you in this album.

Alfons: Yes, well, I can’t say I am very fond of photos.

A: Besides that, the photographers had no complaints as long as they could take pictures of Elbert.

A: Meanwhile, I was sulking and pouting while playing with cats in the corner.

Liam: Ahah, so even you had your cute points too, huh, Al.

Alfons: How rude. Why, I’ll have you know that I’m breaking my cuteness record every second, as we speak.

Liam: Even so, it’s kind of strange. Why are you with Lord Elbie, Al?

Alfons: You seem to have a penchant for asking things like this out of the blue, don’t you?

Liam: I mean... it seems to me like Lord Elbie wouldn’t be able to live if you weren’t there with him.

L: But, you don’t seem like the type to stick to one place, or with one person, for a long time, so.

Alfons: I expected nothing less of you, Liam! You understand me so well, I feel I am about to cry from emotion. Indeed, the tears are about to flow.

Liam: Geez, I wasn’t done talking yet!

L: Anyways, I was thinking, since you’re normally like this, there must be some reason you’ve stuck to Lord Elbie’s side for so long now or something.

Alfons: ...There is no deep reason behind it.

A: But, if I had to give a reason, it would probably be that I had left whether I should leave or stay by his side up to fate, and as a result, it had ended up dragging out... [1]

Liam: You left it to fate?

Roger: Oh, you’re talking about that crazy game you played with Elbie whenever, aren’t you?

Roger had shown up suddenly, grabbing a bottle of liquor from the shelf as he chipped into the conversation.

Liam: Eh, you know about it, Roger!?

Roger: Wait, you didn’t?

Liam: Huuuh, please don’t tell me I’m the only one?

Roger: Ellis and Jude might not know, seeing as they’ve joined Crown recently.

Liam: Oh, thank goodness I’m not the only one.

Alfons: I was having the most amusing conversation with Liam, until just now.

Roger: Good for you, let me join in then.

Liam: So? What’s this about a game?

Alfons: It’s a game called Dead or Alive.

Liam: Dead or... huh? That name is really disturbing.

Alfons: Hehe, you say that, Liam, but your eyes are sparkling.

Liam: Come on, I know you know that I’m ‘very curious’ and you were leading me on.

Alfons: ——It was a game we played once, every year.

A: Would I continue to stay by Lord Elbie’s side? Or——would I disappear?

Liam: How...?

Alfons: Let’s see now... The very first game we played, it was simply on a whim.

—— Flashback ——

This was right after I was taken in by the Greetia family.

Lord Elbert had just lost his father, and so he was very unstable.

Just, as Liam had said, I preferred not to step into the lives of others,

and so, one day, I thought about possibly leaving this manor.

However, I was still young at the time, and my good heart would not approve of me leaving him alone. And so, I decided to make a certain bet.

Alfons: Lord Elbeeert, I brewed some tea, wanna have some?

Elbert: ...Thanks, Alfons. ...But, you don’t need to call me ‘lord.’

Alfons: But that butler of yours—sorry, I meant the butler who serves you [2] keeps pestering me to call you ‘lord.’

Elbert: Then, feel free to call me whatever you want when he’s not here.

Alfons: Why though?

Elbert: Because... you are the first friend... I ever had.

Alfons: ...Hmm.

A: Anyway, back to the tea.

A: Which one do you want?

—— End flashback ——

Liam: So, that was what started the games? I don’t think I see the ‘Dead or Alive’ part...?

Alfons: Well, you see, one of the cups was a completely ordinary cup of darjeeling tea.

A: But the other cup of tea had a poison that could send you straight to the afterworld with naught but a single sip!

first. next →

full masterlist 🍎🪞

NOTES:

[1] not completely sure what this means, to be honest... I kind of took a stab at it from context clues though. The original line was [ずるずると来てしまった] (zuru zuru to kite shimatta). I assume he meant that it kind of “dragged out” (ずるずる). But, if anyone wants to correct me if I’m completely wrong, then I appreciate any feedback!

[2] so Alfons says [お前] (omae) at first, which is like a casual or direct way of saying “you” to Elbert, but then he corrects himself to [貴方] (anata), which is like a polite way to say the same thing. It’s hard to translate directly into English, I feel like, but I tried to convey the tone. In case it didn’t come through at all, this is the explanation!

[siampie]

Risk and Reward||Chapter 5: Starving

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary: You and Matt are slowly finding your rhythm and you can’t get enough of one another.    

Warnings/tags: fluff, idiots in love, childhood trauma

A/N: Not much to say about this chapter, just enjoy people. Comments and reblogs are much appreciated.

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Tag list: @marytheweefrenchie, @sunflowersandsapphires, @abbyhaslongshorts, @schneeflocky, @danzer8705;

@ebathory997,

Dividers by @cafekitsune

Song the title is referring to:

I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you

Don’t need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo

By the way, right away, you do things to my body

I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you

“It’s not like that.” You sighed into the phone.

“No, no—It is like that.” Amelia retorted. You could picture her shaking her head, in mock disappointment. “Now that you have a boyfriend, you’re abandoning me at lunch time. So, you can eat with him. You’re choosing him over me.”

“Why are you so dramatic? We ate together yesterday.” You groaned as you stepped into the coffee shop, nearest to Matt’s office. “And I wouldn’t call Matt ‘my boyfriend,’ we haven’t decided on labels, yet.”

“What do you mean you haven’t decided on labels, yet?” Amelia questioned.  

You rolled your eyes. You placed your orders, and moved to the side to wait for it. “We have been on only one date so far. So, no, there hadn’t been any talks about labels. We’re just—”

“Ah, young love.” Amelia sighed dreamily. “You know what, I forgive you. Go get your man, Babe.”

“And I’m the weird one.” You chuckled.

You and Matt had been on your first date almost a week ago. And you had not seen much of each other since. Keeping in contact through texts and calls. You had not been able to forget about the feel of his lips against yours. Or his calloused fingers on your skin. Matt did not know you were joining him for lunch. You wanted to keep it a surprise. You only hoped it would be a good one.

You pushed the door to Nelson, Murdock and Page lawfirm opened and was met with a quite busy waiting room. It seemed you couldn’t have chosen a worse day to show up unannounced. The door to Foggy’s office opened as he let out a client. You moved away from the door as Foggy walked his client to the door. He sent a quick smile your way while doing so.

He clasped his hands, grinning at you. “Tell me those are for us?” He said pointing at the paper bag in your hands.

“In fact, they are.” You smiled back at him. “Special delivery of bagels and coffee. I also brought some lunch for you, guys.”

He took the bag from you, opened it and smelled the contents. The tension in his shoulders releasing greatly. “You’re a life saver.”

“Not really.” You chuckled, waving him off.

“Ah, I see. You’re here for your lover boy.” Foggy teased you.

“I was hoping but—I can see you, guys, are pretty busy.” You replied quickly. “I should—leave you to it.” You said your hand moving to the doorknob, disappointed that you didn’t get to see him. “Could you—?”

“Oh, come on. Don’t be ridiculous.” Foggy pulled you away from the door and into the small kitchen. “I’ll tell Matt you’re here.”

“Foggy, you don’t have to.” You stopped him. “I can come at another time or call him. You don’t need to—”

“You came all this way; you can’t just leave like that.” Foggy said. “I’m sure Matt can spare a few minutes for his girlfriend.”

“His girlfriend?” You repeated.

“Hey,” Karen came to join you in the kitchenette. “I didn’t know you were coming,” She smiled at you.

“I was trying to surprise Matt.” You nodded.

“And she brought coffee.” Foggy said handing her a cup.

“Thank God!” Karen sipped from her cup. “I really needed that.”

“That bad, uh?”

“You have no idea.”

“Okay, I’ll let Matt know you’re here.” Foggy touched your arm briefly. “And then, I’ll go back into the fray.”

“Thanks.” You smiled at him. “See ya.” You turned to Karen; she was savoring her coffee. “Is it always that busy?”

“Not always.” Karen shook her head. “But some days are busier than others.”

“I can see that.” You hummed. “I mean at least it’s good for business, right?”

“Well, it’s mostly pro-bono work;” Karen explained. “But yeah, lately, we’ve had more paying clients.”

“Sweetheart?” Matt stepped in the kitchenette.

Your breath hitched in your throat when you laid your eyes on him. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up, exposing his muscular forearms. His charming smile split his face in two. And you couldn’t help but mirror his smile.

“Hi, Matthew.” You greeted, his hand already reaching out to you. You placed your hand in his reaching one.

“Alright, I’ll leave you two alone.” Karen resting a hand against Matt’s shoulder and squeezing it gently. “And thanks again for the coffee.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You brought coffee?” Matt questioned.

You nodded. “Yeah.” You placed a cup in his hands.

Matt took a sniff of the coffee. “Thank you, you’re a savior.”

You snorted. “I wouldn’t go that far. It’s just coffee.” You turned to the table. “And lunch.” Matt took a sip. “You can have it as soon as you have a minute to yourself.”

“How did you know that—uh—we—?”

“I didn’t.” You shook your head. “I was just hoping to surprise you for lunch. But I see now that I should have probably called first.” You dropped your gaze to the floor.

“Hey,” His hand went up and down your arm as he stepped closer. “It wouldn’t have been a surprise if you had.”

“Still, I should have called anyway.” You turned your gaze back on his face.

His free hand cupped your face, his calloused fingers ever so gentle. Standing so close to him, his scent wrapped around you. He smelled slightly of salt, much more like sweat, and of cinnamon. You couldn’t decide it was his natural scent or a perfume he wore.

A smile slowly made its way onto his face. “I’m glad you came.” His lips met your cheek in a soft peck. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Your own smile mirroring his, once more. Your eyes landed on the people waiting behind him. And cleared your throat. “I should let you get back to work. People are waiting.”

Matt nodded, his thumb stroking the apple of your cheek. You leant into his touch. “I’m really glad you came.” He said, your hand rested on his wrist. “I’m just sorry we couldn’t have lunch together.”

“It’s okay.” You retorted. “We can have lunch at another time.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” You nodded with a grin.

He put his cup down and pulled you into his arms. His nose buried in the crook of your neck, as yours did his. You inhaled deeply, his scent invading your senses now. Under the stronger fragrances of salt and cinnamon, there was a light touch of leather. You reluctantly pulled away from him.

You spoke. “Talk to you later?”

“Sure.” Matt agreed.

“See you later, Matty.” You smiled at him one last time before walking out.

It wasn’t a total disappointment. Although, you didn’t get to spent your lunch with him, you did get to see him. And that was everything you were truly hoping for.

Your visit had indeed surprised him, in the best way. Since their office had opened that morning, he had not stopped. Between appointments with clients on current affairs, or the new clients coming in for councils, they had not had a minute for themselves. The sweet sound of your voice had eased the tension in his shoulders greatly. He had tried not to rush his appointment with his client but he didn’t want to miss an opportunity to spend a few minutes with you.

He heard your breath hitched when you laid eyes on him, how your heart had sped up when he stepped closer. He felt how you leaned into his touch. The way you reacted to him never failed to fascinate him. And he couldn’t wait to see how well you responded to his touch and more.

The touch of lavender and citrus in your scent had been stronger. There were traces of salt, in your scent, from your sweating. Breathing in your smell had relaxed him even further. And of course, he couldn’t resist hugging you and burying his nose in your neck. He couldn’t resist breathing more of your scent.

Your scent had lingered long after you left their office. The hints of lavender and citrus had gotten stuck in the small hairs in his nostrils. Each time, he inhaled he could smell you. You had been a welcomed distraction and a small reprieve in this hectic day.

“Matt?” Foggy had called his name, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah?” Matt retorted with a frown.

“So, what do you say?” Foggy asked him.

“About?”

Foggy and Karen glanced at each other smirking. “You didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?”

“Of course not, Foggy. He’s too busy thinking about our visitor.” Karen joked.

Matt chuckled lightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure, you don’t.” The air shifted around Karen as she nodded, swallowing her food. “It’s a miracle you got any work done after her visit.”

“Speaking the truth as always, Miss Page.” Foggy agreed.

“Is she now?” Matt smirked.

“Look, buddy, I’ve seen you with a lot of women in the past. And God knows there were many,” Karen rolled her eyes at his statement. “But I’ve never seen you smile so much since you met her.” He turned to Karen quickly. “No offense.”

“None taken.” Karen waved him off. “Foggy’s right, though. Looks like you really like her.”

Matt smiled fondly. “I do. A lot, actually.”

“Well, I’m happy for you, buddy.” Foggy slapped a hand on his shoulder. “You deserve it.”

“Thanks Fog.”

“And are you gonna tell her about Daredevil?” Karen questioned cautiously.

“Oof.” He puffed out, leaning back in his chair. “The thought had crossed my mind but—um—I don’t think it’s a good idea. Not now anyway.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning; I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

This relationship was new still. And he did like you but he needed to know you more. He needed to know that he could trust you with his heart. It had been through so much already. So many losses. He needed to be sure about his feelings and yours. If he ever was to tell you about his nightly activities, he needed to make sure you were in it for the long run.

The Devil wasn’t just something he became at night, to fight crimes. The Devil was a part of him. Something he needed to be. And that knowledge alone wasn’t readily accepted by those surrounding him. Knowing all of him had put his friends in danger in the past. Knowing all of him wasn’t safe.  

Would he really share this part of him with you? Was he really willing to risk your safety?

Your attempt to surprise Matt had been a sign, you thought. Maybe, it was too early in your relationship with Matt for this sort of gestures. It was sweet but it might be seen as a sign of clinginess by others. In your past relationships, you either was the one who felt too much or the one who didn’t feel enough. There were no in-betweens for you. In either case, the relationship had ended because of you. You had been broken up with because you were too much. Because you loved too much. And you had broken up with others because you couldn’t feel the sparks. Because you felt nothing but indifference. The relationship just didn’t do it for you. In either case, you were the bad guy.

You did not wish a repeat of this pattern with Matt. You really wanted to know where this thing between the two of you could go. He had not seemed put off by your attempt, you tried to reason yourself. He had actually admitted to missing you. Just as you did him. Maybe, Matt was the kind of person that could feel as intensely as you did. Or at least you hoped so.

His dark frames were laying on the table beside his wine glass. A second date had been set up by Matt within that same week, he had taken you to a small Italian restaurant. The place was buzzing with people; laughing and chattering away. You were both wrapped in the delicious smell of the food.

Matt had looked dashing as always. Your eyes couldn’t leave his face once, especially after he had taken his glasses off. His sightless eyes seemed to always fall somewhere around your collarbone. The conversations ever so flowing between you. And if it did become quiet, it was never uncomfortable. And that was your favorite thing so far with Matt. You didn’t feel as though you needed to say anything to fill the silence. It wasn’t needed. Matt seemed to be content with it, as much as you were.

“You tested it out?” Matt asked you in disbelief.

“Listen, you don’t tell your children that sort of things and hope for the best.” You retorted. “I mean what did he expect?”

“Not for you to try it out, I guess.”

“True.” You nodded. “Anyway, my brothers and I went in the park by our house and decided to do it. We climbed the tallest tree we could. And jumped.”

“And?” Matt smiled at you.

“I can’t speak for my brothers, but I landed on my toes. And didn’t break any bones.” You shrugged. “I’d say my father was right about that one.”

“Realistically, how tall was the tallest tree?” Matt teased you.

“Probably thirty-five feet at least. Forty-five at most.” You replied; “And we didn’t actually climb that high. Still, we were kids and it was really high for us at the time.” You winced at the sound of your voice. “Sorry, that was loud.” You apologized quietly, looking around you nervously.

“Don’t apologize.” Matt shook his head; his smile had shifted into something softer and affectionate. “I quite like the sound of your voice.”

You huffed out a laugh. “You do?”

“I do.” He nodded; leaning his arms on the table. “Your voice always sounds beautiful and—uh—gentle. It’s how I see you. And—um—you have a way to make things easier when it gets too loud.”

Your heart raced beneath your ribcage; your breath caught in your throat. You were totally disarmed by the simplicity and the beauty with which it was delivered. His words were genuine, which you knew by now, was his personality trait. His words made you feel important, they made you feel—

“How do you keep on doing this?” You said under your breath.

“Doing what?” He leaned closer.

“I don’t know, you—uh—you have a way to take my breath away.” You quietly admitted. “To make me feel—seen, somehow.”

“Is it a bad thing?” He questioned.

“No, it’s not—it’s just—uhm—” You paused.

“What?” He encouraged you.

“No one has ever made feel quite like that before.” You let out breathless.  

His smile dropped slightly; and he reached over for your hand, weaving his fingers with yours. “Well, I do. I see you. In my own way, of course but—I see you.”

Being seen meant being important. Matt Murdock was blind. But he saw you, in spite of that. Better than some. And that was why you were more willing to believe him. He had no reasons to lie. Every word coming out of his mouth, complimenting you, were disarmingly honest. Which made it really hard not to get overly attached so quickly. And that was terrifying.

The way you felt about him was something you never quite experienced before. Matt Murdock might have already ruined you. Because you didn’t think you could settle for anything less after this. You didn’t want to.

At the foot of your building, Matt and you were reluctant to part ways. Your arms have found their way around his neck. His arms wrapped around your waist. His nose brushed against yours.

“I really enjoyed tonight.” He whispered while your fingers grazed the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Me too.” You smiled, your breath fanning over his lips. “Very.”

He grinned before his lips brushed against yours. Butterflies burst into your stomach; your heart hammered in your chest. You were convinced that Matt could feel it through his shirt. One of your hands travelled down his spine, stopping at the small of his back, pulling him into you. His lips parted slightly, allowing your tongue to slip inside. His arms tightened around you, his hands moving along your spine. Lingering, as a moan made its way out of his lips. The sound made your heated core ache for more of it, eliciting a groan out of you.

You reluctantly pulled away from him, breathless, his lips chasing yours. “That was—”

“Hot?” He supplied, cupping your face. His fingers grazed the back of your neck, his thumb brushing against your pulsing point.

“Yeah,” You breathed out. “We should probably—”

“Yeah, we should.” His nose brushed yours.

“I don’t—I really want to—" His lips brushed yours briefly. “Believe me,” You exhaled a shaky breath. “But I just don’t want to rush things.”

His mouth connected with yours once again, in a sweet and small kiss. “It’s okay.” He pulled back slightly. “We can take our time. I’m not going anywhere.” His words sounding like a promise.

“Good to hear.”

No woman had truly made him weak at the knees, quite like you had done that night. The smell of your arousal in the air, the way you had pulled him against you. The way you had briefly taken control had left him breathless and wanting more of it. More of this side of you.

Matt considered himself as someone who had the ability to ruin the good things in his life. No matter how hard he tried to protect them, disaster found its way to them. And he didn’t want disaster to find its way to you. He knew he wouldn’t last though. Not if he decided to let you know about the Devil. This could wait however. Most of all, he wanted you to feel safe with him, and to trust him. He’d give you the time you needed.

Friday nights at Josie’s were something you always was looking forward to. Especially if you needed to unwind after a long week. And—you got to spent more time with Matt. There had been a few more dates in the following weeks. Matt and you were starting to find your rhythm with one another. You had not spoken about labels yet but you were fine with it.

Your naked thigh pressed against his, one of his hands had slipped down to rest on your bare thigh. Throughout the night, his hand would affectionately squeeze your leg under the table. You laced your arm with his, pecking his clothed shoulder. You never thought of yourself as a very tactile person. Growing up, your father had not shown affection much. There were no hugs, no kisses. Nothing. So, of course, over the years it had not come easily.  You had thought of yourself as someone who couldn’t stand the touch of another person. And there had been moments when you did recoil at someone else’s touch. Only because you barely knew them, and they did make you uncomfortable. But you would soon find that you were, in spite of your beliefs, a very tactile person.

Or maybe it was simply a consequence of being touch starved. And now you were seeking affections in any way possible. Only if you were allowed to. Not everyone was comfortable with touch. Your sister didn’t like hugs, neither did your best friend. The only way for you to receive a hug from them, was for them to initiate it. Otherwise, they would push you away.

You weren’t afraid to be tactile with Matt. It seemed he was craving the affection as much as you had. A smile always making its way onto his face, anytime you did. As though he was taking pride in your being comfortable enough to do so.

You took a deep breath outside of Josie’s bar. You had a couple of beers in you, feeling slightly tipsy. You said your goodbyes to your friends as you parted ways on the sidewalk. You laced your arm with his as you started towards your apartment building.

“I have a question.” You said after a few minutes. Matt hummed softly, his cane tapping along on the sidewalk. “Are we girlfriend and boyfriend?” You looked up to him.

“Do you want us to be?” Matt questioned, coming to a stop.

You turned to face him and stepped closer, your arms encircling his middle. “Yes. I’d like to introduce you as more than just a guy I’m seeing.” A boyish grin appeared on Matt’s face. “I want you to be my boyfriend. And I’d like to be your girlfriend.”

He cupped your face, looking through you affectionately. “I’d like that too.”

“Yeah?” You grinned, tightening your arms around him.

He leaned down towards you, gently cradling your face as he closed the distance. “Yeah.” His lips met yours in a soft kiss.

“Would you—um, like to stay over tonight?” You asked once you pulled away.

Matt would love for nothing more. He knew what you were hoping for, he wanted the same thing. However, he still needed to go out as Daredevil. Something, you had yet to know about.

“Not tonight.” He said quietly, leaning in to kiss you again.

“Oh,”

You felt the pang of disappointment, the sting of rejection. You tried to reason that maybe he wasn’t ready. That he probably wanted to wait for a better time, make it special maybe. You tried to reason that there were no reasons for you to feel rejected. Especially right after you both had agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend.   

“Next time, then?”

“Promise.”

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[kaleldobrev]

To the Rescue (3) — Take Me Back Series

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

Series Summary: After making a deal to bring you back, Sam doesn't see you until years later when your paths cross during a case

Original Prompt: Requested by anonymous | Hi, I just joined Tumblr and came across your blog, it's wonderful! I'd like to make a request, something between Sam and reader. The reader dies and Sam makes a pact to bring her back, but she comes back without remembering him and the hunting life. He thinks it's best to stay away from her. Years later they meet and she falls in love with him all over again, and when they kiss she regains her memory. Do you like it?

Chapter Word Count: 2.7k

Chapter Warnings: Cursing (8x), Minor Character Death

Authors Note: When I originally wrote this it was 1.2k. With editing it turned into 2.7k | One more part after this folks! Sorry for the cliffhanger in advance | Flashbacks are in italics | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

Pulling up to your house, Sam felt as though his stomach was in knots. It wasn’t like it was the first time he had seen your house, but this time it was different. It wasn’t just a normal driveway he was used to doing to make sure that you were safe every once in a while.

“You okay?” Dean asked, snapping Sam out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m…I’m fine,” Sam lied.

“Alright,” Dean began, opening up his glove compartment and taking out his gun. “Let’s go boy wonder,” he grinned.

Walking up to your front door, the biggest sense of dread starting washing over him as he started to think that maybe something was wrong. “You know, I don’t think she’s home. She usually parks her car in the driveway.”

“Maybe she actually parks inside her garage?” Dean suggested.

Sam looked at him, full well knowing that you wouldn’t be able to park inside your garage — it had too much stuff in it to park your car. It was more of a storage unit than anything. “Trust me on this one.”

“Wow, you really do stalk her uh?” Dean grinned.

“Not stalk, just concerned,” Sam corrected.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night,” Dean said, patting his brother on the shoulder. Y/N would help me sleep better at night, Sam thought.

Taking a small deep breath, Sam knocked on your door, hoping that you somehow broke your pattern of parking in the driveway. It had been a couple of weeks since he’s done a drive by, so maybe you did have enough room in your garage now; but knowing you, you hadn’t cleaned it out.

“She’s not here,” Sam said quickly, and he turned on his heels about to leave your front porch. But Dean stopped him, grabbing onto the back of his jacket to bring him back. “What?”

“You don’t wanna check if she’s inside the house?” Dean asked. “What if she’s —”

“She’s not here Dean. Trust me,” Sam said, his voice a little stern. “The more time we’re here, the less time we actually have to go and find her. Now let’s go and check the shelter. I’ll try and call her on the way there.”

Dean went to open up his mouth to protest, but he knew that his brother was right. “Alright,” he agreed. As much as he wanted to check if you were inside the house, Dean trusted Sam when it came to his gut feeling; especially since this was concerning you.

You didn’t know how long you’ve been tied to this chair, but it felt like hours at this point. Mel or whatever her name actually was just talking your ear off; and it wasn’t even remotely about the deal, but just random little stories about her time here on Earth. If you weren’t currently tied to a chair, there was a part of you that would have actually found her stories to be quite interesting. “I don’t know, I love being a crossroads demon but at the same time, I feel like I could really bring some value to the team if Crowley trusted me more. What do you think?” Mel asked.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” you admitted. “I mean, I’d love to commend you on your work ethic but uh, I’m a little bitter right now,” you said.

Mel laughed. “Fair enough,” she grinned. “But, if you had to give me like a recommendation, would you say I had a good work ethic? I mean, I was your right hand for almost four years here.”

“Again, don’t really wanna commend you when you currently have me tied to a chair in my own shelter,” you stated, your voice radiating annoyance.

“You know, these past four years have honestly so eye opening,” Mel begin. “I can really see why Sammy wanted to marry you.”

“I’m sorry?” You questioned.

Mel went to open her mouth to answer your question, but there were two doors slamming in the distance. And her smile turned into a slightly mischievous one. “Looks like lover boy and big bro are here to rescue you!” She exclaimed and looked at her watch briefly. “About damn time too. I was starting to get bored.”

Mel got up from her seat, and removed a piece of fabric from her pocket as she walked toward you. “Just gonna place this in your mouth so you can’t warn my favorite boys, okay?” She giggled, before putting the fabric in your mouth, almost gagging you.

As the pair walked into the gym, it was mostly pitch black except for the small amount of moonlight that was currently streaming in from the windows. "Y/N?" Sam called out.

Muffled screaming could be heard, and that's when they noticed you sitting in the middle of the auditorium tied to a chair and with some kind of gag in your mouth. "Just like old times," Dean said, pulling out his gun.

"Except we're saving her, not the other way around," Sam stated, he too pulling out his gun.

"Whatever," Dean mumbled. "Just get Y/N out of here."

"And where are you going to go?" Sam asked, slightly confused as he raised a brow.

"Gonna go see if I can find that Mel bitch," Dean said, slightly waving his gun and grinning.

"No need to find me! I'm right here boys!" Mel called out, her voice singsong like; the large auditorium lights turning on in a matter of seconds. "And there's really no need to have those silly little guns out, so you might as well put them away," she said, appearing behind you now. "I just wanna talk. You know, have a little catch up. It's been such a long four years, and I've been so interested in what my Winchester boys have been up to. Especially Sammy here."

"Nothing really for us to talk about. Considering you've killed five teenagers for really no good reason," Sam said.

“But it was for a good reason,” Mel stated. Both boys looked at her with a slightly confused expression on both their faces. “I needed a way to get you two here. You wouldn’t have came any other way. Well, that’s not entirely true now is it Sammy?”

Sam looked at you, and he could see your expression changing. You were no longer relatively calm, but more confused than anything else. “Either you tell her or I will,” Mel stated, her voice no longer sing song like. “Tell her what you’ve been up to.”

Sam and Dean exchanged looks, and Sam didn’t want to tell you what Mel was insinuating. “5…4….3….” Mel began counting.

“Alright, alright!” Sam yelled out in frustration. “I’ve been watching her for the past four years to make sure she was okay.” He sighed. “Happy?”

“Now, let’s see what Y/N thinks about that mmm?” Mel asked, her hands on either side of your shoulders. “Wanna talk?” She asked you, and you eyed her. If looks could kill, Mel would have been dead.

“Fuck you,” you said, muffled.

“Oh my!” Mel laughed. “The mouth on her! No wonder you were so heartbroken Sammy,” she winked.

As Mel, Sam and Dean were talking, you were carefully trying to untie yourself from the chair, making sure that none of them had seen you doing it; as you were pretty sure that if Mel had caught you, she had the ability to kill you in an instant. Then again, you weren’t quite sure how strong demons were.

“Now, I’d really like to hear what Y/N think —” before Mel could continue her sentence, you broke free from the rope that she had tied your hands with, and managed to tackle Mel to the ground.

“A little help here would be nice boys!” You yelled out, trying your best to keep Mel to the ground; but her demon strength was starting to show, as she knocked you to the ground.

Before she could do anything to you, Dean had his arms around her, holding her back as Sam held out his hand in order to help you up. “Thanks,” you said, taking his hand — a simple movement, but felt so natural.

Mel bucked her head back, the back of her head hutting Dean in the nose; the movement caused him to let her go and he stumbled back. “Fuck,” Dean said; some blood running down from his nose.

“You little bitch,” Mel said through gritted teeth. She went to lunge at you, but was stopped when Sam had shot her. She laughed. “You know bullets can’t kill me,” she smirked.

“No, but they can distract you,” Dean said from behind her. She turned around, and within an instant, Dean plunged the Demon Knife into her.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked, the three of you walking out of the shelter.

“Yeah I’m fine just…confused,” you confessed.

“I’m sure. I’m sorry Mel wasn’t who you thought she was,” Sam said.

“That’s not entirely it,” you began, the two men raised a brow. “Mel…Mel said that I knew you guys,” you looked at Sam now. “She said you wanted to marry me.” Sam and Dean exchanged looks, neither one of them really knew what to say

“What else did she tell you?” Sam asked, not denying your claim; as he was in fact planning on asking you to marry him as soon as the three of you had gotten back from the hunt. It was something that he spent months planning.

“She said that you made a deal in order to bring me back to life. And part of that deal was basically having me forget you and hunting,” you said, your voice having no hesitancy to it. “I know how ridiculous it sounds but…I believe her.”

“Dean, can you give us a second?” Sam asked, looking over at his brother. Dean and Sam exchanged looks, and Dean looked at you only briefly before nodding.

“Yeah I’ll uh…I’ll be in Baby,” he said, scratching the back of his head as he started making his way toward his impala.

“Is what she said the truth?” You asked. “And don’t give me a it’s complicated answer. It’s a simple yes or no.” Sam couldn’t help but let out a half chuckle, as this was a like you had said to him far too many times.

“Yes. It’s the truth,” he admitted. “Four years ago, the three of us were on a vampire hunt in Malibu. You and me agreed to go take out the nest because it was only supposed to be three vamps. But…it turned out to be six instead, too many for just the two of us to handle. That’s when you…”

“Died,” you said, finishing his sentence. “How did I…die?”

“One of the vamps…ripped your throat out…” he mumbled, his voice trailing. “It was my fault I…”

“Hey, hey,” you said, taking his hand in yours. “I may not remember, but it wasn’t your fault okay? I may not remember you, but, knowing you literally barely a few hours, I know you aren’t that type of person. You just…I get a good vibe from you.”

“You shouldn’t,” he stated. “I’ve done a lot of…fucked up things. Things that…”

“Whatever fucked up things you’ve done, I’m sure it was for a good reason Sam,” you reassured him. “You aren’t someone that’s just going to get someone killed.”

Sam just looked at your hand in his; enjoying the feeling. It’s been so long since he had held your hand. “After, why didn’t you try and ask me out?” You asked.

Sam chuckled. “Thought you’d be better off without me and plus, kinda thought something like this was going to happen.”

“Ask her out already please! I miss her baking!” The two of you heard Dean call out. You and Sam turned, and saw Dean with the drivers side window rolled down; Zeppelin playing loud enough for him to have probably been able to hear the entirety of the conversation.

Sam and you chuckled a little, and you looked at each other similar to that of two people in love with each other. “You wouldn’t want to go out sometime again would you?” You asked, softly smiling.

“I don’t know I…” Sam wanted to say yes; he wanted you back in his life, wanted so much to be in your life again. But he didn’t want to risk anything bad happening to you again. “I’m sorry.”

Disappointment washed over you as you looked at Sam. You had wanted to be with him, even though you barely knew him. But according to Mel, at some point, he had wanted to marry you. You had hoped that maybe with her gone, then you two could get to know each other again and have a bond like you apparently did years ago. You had felt something for him; some kind of connection, a kind of familiarity, even before you knew who he was. But, you understood where he was coming from. “Can I at least give you a thank you kiss?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, almost afraid to say yes.

Sam leaned down, and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. He stared into your eyes, mentally cursing himself for saying no, but he knew that saying no was for the best. You were safer, and you were free. “I’ll always love you,” he told you. “Even if you don’t remember loving me.”

Your lips and his were centimeters apart now, and you didn’t want this moment to end between the two of you. Because you knew, that the second the kiss was over, you’d probably never see him again.

“Take care of yourself,” you said, before the two of you pressed your lips against each other.

The kiss felt natural, a little needy, but gentle. It wasn’t a kiss you would give to someone you would see again, it was a kiss that you gave someone that you would never see again. It was a goodbye.

"Sam, I have a bad feeling about this. Maybe we should wait for Dean to come and help us," you said; as the two of you started walking up to an abandoned log cabin in the middle of the woods; something that you didn't even know Malibu had.

"There's only supposed to be three vamps, I think we'll be fine," Sam reassured you. "We've taken out more than three vamps just the two of us before."

"Yeah but...I don't know, it just feels different this time, I can't explain it," you said, your voice hesitant. For some strange reason, you just had a horrible feeling that something bad was going to happen, but you had no proof. It wasn't like you had premonitions.

"Fuck," you said, a sharp sensation entering your head, as if you just got hit in the head.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Sam asked, concern in his voice.

"Yeah just..." the pain got more intense, and you felt yourself start to lose balance; Sam's hands instantly finding your arms in order to keep you from falling. "My head really fucking hurts," you said, almost strained.

"Let's sit down uh?" Sam suggested, as he started leading you toward the curb in front of the shelter.

"Sammy, she okay?" You heard Dean say, the sound of the impala's door opening and closing. You heard barely hear the sound of his running toward you and Sam, as everything started to sound so muffled due to the intense pain and pounding in your head.

"You know, I don't know what I'd ever do without you," Sam said, caressing your cheek.

"I'm sure you'd be fine. You did just fine before you met me," you said, gently smiling at him.

"But my life is a lot better with you in it," he admitted.

"So is mine," you confessed.

"I love you," he replied.

"I love you too," you smiled.

You didn't really know how you had gotten to sitting on the curb but you now where, Sam and Dean on either side of you. The intense pain was starting to subside, and the pounding was starting to cease. You couldn't tell what either man was saying, as they still sounded muffled.

"Y/N?" Sam asked, his hands resting on your shoulders.

You turned to look at him, and all of a sudden you felt the urge to cry. Your hand reached out and touched his cheek. "Sam..." your voice was low, almost inaudible.

"Yeah?" He replied, his voice as low as yours.

"Take me home," you said.

"Sure," he nodded.

"To the Bunker," you clarified.

Sam looked at you; confusion clear across his face. "The Bunker?"

In the next and final chapter...

He scratched the back of his head before pointing to your side table. “Open up the drawer there,” he said, slight hesitation in his voice. When you didn’t move, he sighed. “Trust me,” he said.

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[abbyromanoff]

Hello! Please can you make a story with Maria having a secret girlfriend who is in a long infiltration job ? Have a good day or night!

A Secret

Pairings: Maria Hill x reader (Natasha x reader)

Word Count: 1,870

Warnings: angst, small mentions of smut, fluff, jealousy, hurt and comfort, secret relationships

No one is permitted to steal, copy, or reblog my work as their own!!

“You ready?” You looked over at your girlfriend in her full glory, a red dress covering her body. You held her hand tightly with your own, bringing it to your mouth to give the back of her palm a small peck.

“Always, love.” She rested her arm on your back, almost nearing the curve of your ass. You smiled gently, a slight warmth filling your heart when being with the woman. You didn’t get to do this often, this was the first ever party you were attending with her. The two of you had a busy work schedule that made it difficult to be with one another, but you made it work. You both loved each other more than anything, you weren’t going to give up now.

The loud sounds of clinking glasses together and small conversations between coworkers who haven’t seen each other in weeks. It was overwhelming, to say the least, but your partner's hand interlaced with yours helped that fear quickly go away.

“It’s alright, I’m right here. I’m not leaving.” You smiled to yourself with a blush on your cheeks. She chuckled at your reaction and walked towards the bar, dragging you along with her.

“Hey, Nat! One margarita, please.” The redhead nodded and grabbed the glass she’d use, pouring the drink and handing it off to your girlfriend.

“Who’s the pretty lady here?” Nat smirked, eyeing you up and down. You could see Maria start to tense up, gripping your hand under the bar.

“This is Y/N, my plus one.” Everyone had to bring someone to the party, it was probably so Tony could have more people to brag to. You wished she wasn’t so afraid to tell everyone about you, you wanted to be shown off. You understood if she wasn’t ready, but it got so hard not being able to kiss her in front of anyone. It got so hard not to tell everyone about how perfect your girlfriend is, but you respected her wishes. No matter how difficult it was, you still loved her dearly.

Nat grabbed your free palm in her own, grasping your fingertips together and connecting her lips with the back of your hand. She grinned down at you, it was clear what her intentions were. She was trying to get you to go home with her tonight, and Maria hated the thought. She knew others would want you, who wouldn’t? But she hated that she couldn’t mark you as hers for good, then nobody would touch you.

“Y/N here is actually seeing someone, Nat,” Her voice laced with venom, “I think you should back off before they find out.” Nat turned her eyes to look at her, rolling her eyes before turning back to you.

“Well, I don’t think they’ll mind. After all, what idiot would leave such a beautiful girl all alone?” You licked your lips discreetly. You couldn’t deny her beauty, but you knew Maria hated this. You wanted to test her, see if she’d finally break.

“C’mon, let's go.” She started to lightly tug on your arm, expecting you to listen and follow her like a lost puppy. But you didn’t. She looked back at you, seeing your clear hesitant face that was trying its best to act cool.

“Uh, actually, I’m enjoying talking to Nat. I think I’ll stay here.” She was about to say something, only to be cut off by Nat.

“Good decision, baby. Why don’t you join me on the floor?” You nodded with a grin, noticing the way Maria looked at you with shock. It seemed like she was hurt, you felt horrible. But, it was the only way to show her what could happen if she didn’t listen to you and treat you how you deserved. Nat led you onto the dance floor with at least twenty other people. They were all drunk and grinding against each other.

“So, you and Maria?” Your eyes widened, turning to look at the woman.

“Oh please, it’s obvious with how she looks at you. I could tell there was something going on between you two a few months ago, I just never said anything.” She shrugged, pulling you closer to mimic the others. Her arms wrapped around your waist from behind, nearing close to your breasts. To anyone else, you looked like a couple with Nat’s head resting on your shoulder. You couldn’t even picture the expression on your girlfriend's face.

“Why didn’t you? I mean, I thought you were trying to sleep with me tonight.” You chuckled dryly, waiting for her response. She took a minute, sighing before finally speaking.

“When Maria first brought you here to ‘introduce a friend’ I kind of started to form a bit of a crush on you. I like you, and I don’t want it to be weird between us, so, I’ll back off. Besides, you seem really happy with her.” You let out a small ‘oh’, the new information leaving you speechless. You switched your position, turning to wrap your arms around her shoulders and slowly moving side to side.

“You don’t have to say anything, Y/N, I understand. I’ll get over it someday, but for now, I think you should go talk to your girlfriend before she attempts to rip my head off.”

“Attempts to?”

“I’m the black widow, she has nothing on me.” You both shared a final laugh before taking her advice and leaving to look for your partner. You looked all over, asking if anyone had seen her, and ended up next to a balcony door where you saw her leaning over the railing with her drink in hand.

“Maria?” She turned quickly at the sound of your voice, her saddened expression changing into a cold, stoic one.

“What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be dancing with your little whore?” You walked closer to the woman, looking down at the ground as you approached her.

“Well, I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have gone with Nat, I just wanted to get my point across to you.”

“And what point is that?” You were now facing her, your face mere inches apart. You wanted to kiss her so badly, to just connect your lips together and kiss as if no one was watching. But you wanted them to see, you wanted them to see that you were hers and she was yours. You were tired of being her little secret.

“I don’t want to hide anymore, Maria. I wanted to take it slow like you asked, but it’s been almost a year! I love you, I love you more than anything. But I can’t keep pretending you mean nothing to me, I can’t keep acting like you’re just my friend when all I want to do is kiss you with everyone watching. Nat means nothing to me, she’s my friend. I love you and only you, I want to be able to say that in public. I want to be able to hold you and hold your hands, I can’t keep hiding that.” Tears pooled at your eyelids as you tried to hold them back. You were about to wipe them away when you were interrupted by a hand placing itself on your face, using the pad of her thumb to erase the wetness.

“I’m so sorry, love, I never realized you wanted that. I always thought you wanted to keep it hidden so I never told anyone. It was so difficult, I wanted to show you off to every person I saw. And, baby, you don’t know how much I love you. You mean the world to me. I don’t care if it’s only been ten or so months, I’m so in love with you already. I can never see myself with someone else and seeing you with Nat, I don’t know it just hurt so bad. I worried you’d realize you deserve better and run off with her instead. I’m so, so sorry, sweetheart.” You wrapped your arms tightly around her, almost making her fall backwards at the impact. You didn’t let go, not even when you heard the door opening.

“Hey, Maria have you seen-“ The man quickly stopped himself, apologizing with an awkward smile before retorting back to the party. You didn’t say a word, only grasping the woman close to you without daring to move your head from her shoulder. You could smell her perfume lacing her body, smiling when catching a whiff of the shampoo she stated she never took from you.

“It’s okay, I’m here.” She rocked you back and forth, feeling the cool breeze hitting her face.

“C’mon, baby, let’s go home.”

The next day you woke up to a note on your bedside table stating she had to leave early for work and would be back later that night. You had given yourself time to relax before heading to work, making a small breakfast, and sitting on the couch to read a few pages of the book you were close to finishing.

“Y/N! There you are, I’ve been waiting all morning for you to show up.” Your coworker said, rushing over to hug you tightly. She leaned back, a smile marking her face that soon turned into a grin when noticing the mark on your neck.

“Fun night with the secret mistress of yours?” You chuckled lightly and set the piles of papers onto the desk that was yours. There was a flower with a note.

“What’s this?”

“I don’t know, it was delivered this morning. Maybe it was your mystery woman?” She rose her eyebrows up and down, smirking when seeing your flustered features.

“Quiet down, you know your teasing won’t get me to tell you who she is.” She groaned loudly and threw her head back, flipping you off before heading to her own cubical.

Hours had gone by, your phone being completely neglected as you focused on completing the work in front of you. You didn’t see the messages Maria had sent you, telling you she was planning on stopping by for your lunch break. So when you looked at the door of your office and saw your girlfriend, you were shocked.

“Babe, what are you doing here?” You whisper-shouted, grabbing the small box of food she handed you.

“What? Can I not come to see my beautiful partner for lunch?” She kissed the top of your head, ignoring the quiet whispers and stares from others.

“Well, it’s just a really public place, I didn’t think you wanted to visit.”

“Didn’t I tell you I didn’t want to hide us anymore? So, I’m keeping my promise. Now, let’s dig in, shall we?” You grinned happily, feeling her lips press against your own in a soft kiss. You complied, letting your lips melt into her own for a quick moment. You could see the smirk on your friends' face, staring at you both with a hopeful glance. You wished you could wipe that smirk off her face. But at the same time, you couldn’t be happier knowing that look was caused by you and Maria. You couldn’t be happier that she finally kept her promise, and that she finally showed the world the love she held for you.

[malarign]

starry eyes

(when your friend sets you up on a date)

contains: friend!Yeonjun x gn!reader | genre: fluff, college au | tw! none :)| wc: 0,6k

reblogs are highly appreciated!!!

author’s note: pls don’t let it flop guys :’)) thank you @gyumibear for beta reading!

Something about you was that you would never admit to being madly in love with Yeonjun. Not after all those years of friendship, listening about his crushes, and helping with his situationships. That only made you think he was out of your league completely, leaving your hopes and dreams deep in your imagination. You tried to find somebody you knew, somebody who you knew would feel the same about you, but nothing was able to stop you from comparing them with him. He had this undeniable charm that day by day only brought you closer to him, making your misery even more painful.

You sat in the students’ lounge enjoying the comfort of an air-conditioned room. Soon your group of friends started joining to eat their lunches. You waited patiently for him, to, as always, brighten the atmosphere in the room with his jokes and laughter. And there he was. His hair was messy from his soccer training, yet he looked perfect as always, maybe a little better.

“How was your practice?” Chaewon asked once he plopped next to her on the couch.

He huffed with a smile and faced her. “I scored most goals, as always,” he said cockily, earning a playful smack on his arm.

“We should hang out after all the classes, are y’all free?” Beomgyu suddenly suggested, grabbing your attention. He smiled slightly, looking straight at you. Did he notice how you looked at Yeonjun?

“Sure, it’s been a while since we hung out outside of campus.” Yeonjun looked at everybody and stopped at you, whose attention was still laid on Beomgyu.

“I can’t today, I have tutoring,” Yunjin said regretfully.

“I don’t think I’ll manage to find time today.” Chaewon pouted.

The room fell silent and only the ticking of a clock was audible.

“How about you Y/n?”

You thought for a while. You didn’t quite know what Beomgyu was up to with that sudden proposition. His gaze told you firmly he knew damn well about your feelings, after all, he knew you the longest of them all.

“I have no plans for today,” you said with a sigh, leaning back on the couch. In the corner of your eye, you noticed a slight smile on Yeonjun’s face. A smile he wished you noticed.

After all your classes you were set to meet at the cafe nearby. Your last lecture thankfully got canceled, making you have time to finish all your assignments before your get-together. Since this particular place wasn’t really close to your campus not many students came there. It was the middle of the week and not one of the typical rush hours for a cafe so every time the door opened your head perked up automatically, waiting for your friends. Finally, they revealed Yeonjun. He smiled upon seeing you in the corner, your laptop in front of you as well as an already finished beverage.

“How long have you been here?” he asked, taking a seat in front of you.

“Quite a long time. My lecture got canceled,” you shrugged and closed your laptop to give him all your attention.

“I see you already finished,” he said, pointing to your cup. “Do you want another one?”

“Shouldn’t we wait for Beomgyu?” You frowned, but he responded with just as confused a look as yours.

“He texted me a while ago that something came up and he wouldn’t make it today. He said he texted you too.” Of course. You knew he was up to something. “So? Should I get you your usual?” he offered.

You nodded with a small smile, heart pounding at him remembering your order. When he turned around to the counter you took your phone out to see that Beomgyu indeed texted you. You huffed in disbelief as you read his message.

“Enjoy your date, lovebird ;)”

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

taglist: (open) @kpoprhia, @jaelaxies

[dingusfreakhxrrington]

Promise

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

summary: spencer hasn’t been the same since the kidnapping and everyone knows it. you just wished he’d opened up to you sooner.

warnings: mentions of kidnapping, heavy indication of drug use, mentions of trauma, lots of angst, season 2 spencer, direct references to 2x15

word count: 2.3k

read on ao3

friendly reminder that comments and reblogs are just as (if not more than) important as likes!

It’s been months since the kidnapping, months since you almost lost him.

Spencer was back to work almost too quickly, somehow passing his psych evaluation with flying colours, but you knew he wasn’t okay. Everyone did.

He’d grown distant, quieter than usual. Most days he would try to act normal and pretend nothing was wrong but you knew better than to fall for that. Spencer wasn’t very good at hiding things from the people who cared about him, especially when it was you.

The two of you had been close since you joined the BAU. You had a lot in common and you understood him better than anyone else on the team. When he rambled, you listened. When he started spewing out different statistics, you were the only one who never cut him off. You noticed his stimming and his random hyperfixations. You were one of the few people on the team who he truly felt he was never being judged by.

So, when he stopped rambling so much and more often than not you found him sat quietly disassociating so intensely, you knew exactly where his brain was straying, you knew he wasn’t okay.

He’d spoken to Morgan and Gideon but only briefly and, although they had managed to get him to confide in them, you knew there was still something he was hiding. There was more to it and you could see it eating away at him. Everyone could.

“Reid!” you called out to him as you rushed out of the building, hoping to catch him before he left for home.

His head quickly turned back to you and he knitted his brows as you hurried over to his side. Although he said nothing, you knew he was asking a silent question from the tilt of his head.

“Do you want to grab a coffee with me?”

“A coffee?” he asked, checking his watch as if only to remind you that it was an unusual time to get coffee, especially when you were both heading home to unwind after a long day at work.

“Right, yeah. Okay, how about dinner then? I know you’re only going to get a crappy takeout anyway. We don’t have to go out but if you come over I’ll cook for you?”

He smiled, although you could see a glimpse of another emotion in his eyes. You weren’t entirely sure what it was but you didn’t miss the way he held his arm, long fingers wrapping just a tad bit too tensely around his forearm.

“You know what, I’d love to but-“

“No buts, Spencer. I’m cooking for you tonight. You need a proper meal for once,” you cut him off, and began heading towards your car.

With a small smile, Spencer shook his head and followed after you, knowing you wouldn’t take no for an answer.

His strange behaviour only continued during the drive home. He seemed distracted and on edge, though you were unsure why. Whenever you tried to bring it up in conversation, asking if he was alright, he’d just insist he was fine and then change the topic of conversation.

He’d been doing this for weeks. Insisting he was okay when you knew he wasn’t. In truth, he hadn’t only been distant and distracted since he came back to work. No, he’d also been acting strange. Sometimes he was rude and antsy as if he was subtly lashing out, and on occasion, he would completely disappear for short periods of time.

You’d asked Morgan about it, hoping he of all people would have been able to provide you with more insight but even he was unsure why Reid was behaving in such a way. In fact, he had been hoping you would have the answers. All he could chalk it up to was the way each case was getting to Reid. Everything had been different after he had become a victim himself.

“Do you want anything to drink? A glass of water? Juice? Something alcoholic?”

He made his way over to your couch, as always seemed to be his routine now. You weren’t particularly in the habit of inviting colleagues over but you had had Reid, Morgan and Garcia over on occasion. Whenever they came around, Reid always made a b-line for a space on the couch. Even now, it seemed.

“Some water would be great.”

You hummed and poured the both of you a glass before slumping down beside him on the couch. It felt nice to be able to relax although you could still tell something was off with him.

“Hey, can I use your bathroom?” he spoke after a few minutes of sitting in silence.

“Yeah, of course. You know where it is.”

Your smile dropped when he reached the hallway but you shook it off and started to prepare dinner. You couldn’t blame him for getting takeout most days as you often did the same. It was always so hard finding the time or energy to cook after a long day at work.

When Spencer came back from the bathroom he seemed different again. He didn’t utter a word to you as he sat back down on the couch, his body slumped over more than usual as he rested his head back and closed his eyes. You watched him from your place in the kitchen, thankful for your small apartment at this moment as it allowed you to keep an eye on him.

Still, you had already dragged him home with you and he was probably exhausted so you didn’t want to press. Instead, you opted for getting dinner cooked so that, at the very least, he could have a nice warm meal.

However, dinner hadn’t been the only reason you’d invited him over.

He sat opposite you at the table, thanking you for the food as he began to tuck in. The one thing that had struck you as odd, however, was the fact that he hadn’t taken his jacket off once since he’d arrived.

Usually, at the very least, he would have thrown it over the back of a chair and, on occasions when he was particularly tired, he’d even loosen his tie as well. Today, however, his clothes were almost too put together. In fact, you realised then that you hadn’t seen him with so much as a hair out of place in months. Not that that had hidden the dark circles under his eyes or the redness that often resided within them.

“Spencer?”

He only hummed in reply, his head swaying ever so slightly as he lifted it to look at you. His eyes seemed watery and his cheeks were somewhat flushed. He scratched the side of his neck, yet another tell in his body language that was bringing you closer to the source of his strange behaviour.

“Are you okay?” you asked as you piled the dishes up next to the sink, telling yourself you’d wash them later.

He stood from his chair, once again with knitted brows. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

He was scratching again, this time at his arm — the same arm he’d held when you approached him outside of work.

You sighed, growing tired of his lies. “Why won’t you talk to me? I know something is wrong, Spencer. You haven’t been right for a while.”

His eyes strayed from yours and he rubbed his hand up and down his arm, stopping just before he reached his elbow every time.

“I’m fine, really.”

You stepped closer. “No, you’re not.”

He glanced up at you again with guilt in his eyes. He knew he couldn’t hide it from you any longer, no matter how much he wished he could.

“Talk to me, please.”

You moved closer again but he stepped back when you reached out for him as if he were afraid you’d figure it out if you so much as touched him.

You didn’t want to believe it but you were a profiler, you studied human behaviour for a living and you’d been watching Spencer for some time now, determined to find a way to help ease his pain.

It was a truth you were reluctant to believe but, if you were right in your conclusion it meant things were worse than you’d initially thought.

A part of you didn’t want to confront him about it but as you’d stood there with him you knew you had to.

“Take off your jacket.”

His eyes snapped back up to yours and he looked afraid. Not of you, but of what you were asking. Of what he knew you would find.

“W-Why?”

You didn’t answer him because you knew he knew why. Instead, you simply stood waiting for him to do as you had asked.

His eyes drifted from yours and he shook the clothing from his shoulders, turning for just a moment to put it down.

When he turned back to face you, your hands were already reaching for his arm and oh-so-gently pulling the sleeve of his shirt up.

“Oh, Spencer.” It came out in a gasp as your hand covered your mouth, heart breaking at what you had discovered.

Tears began to prick at your eyes as you softly ran your thumb across his skin, careful not to press over any of the marks that littered his arm.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, broken.

All of a sudden you found yourself lunging at him as you threw your arms around his fragile frame, holding him tight as if to try and tell him it was okay.

You still didn’t want to believe it, the guilt was eating you alive. You should have noticed sooner, you should have been there for him, you should have known. But there was no way you could have, not when he didn’t want you to know. He had been hiding this from you, from everyone. He didn’t want anyone to know.

It wasn’t your fault, yet that was little comfort to you.

He’d been using this whole time. Even now, in your own home, yet you weren’t angry with him. How could you be when this was of no fault of his own? You knew it had been Tobias who had done this, who had given him his first dose. If Spencer had had any say in it, he would have never gone near it.

You cried into his vest. holding him so tight you were almost afraid he’d struggle to breathe, yet his arms soon began to wrap themselves around you too as his body began to softly shake.

Together, you cried for what felt like an eternity as he was finally forced to face what he had become.

When you finally parted, he was wracked with guilt once again.

“Please, y/n. You can’t tell anyone.”

You finally worked up the courage to look him in the eye again and, when you did, you found your expression softening once again. “You need help, Spencer.”

Skittishly, he nodded his head. “I-I know but if they find out I could lose my job. I-I could-“

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out. I promise. We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay? When you’re sober. You can stay here tonight, I don’t want you going home by yourself, but I need to know, Spencer: do you have any more with you right now?”

He gulped and reached for his bag, pulling out two more doses. Although he was hesitant, he passed them to you. The moment they were in your hand you found yourself tearing up again and so did he.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I’m so, so sorry.” He buried his face in his hands, too ashamed to look at you.

Without a second thought, you hugged him again before slowly coaxing him to your bedroom. You helped him get somewhat comfortable, although he would have to sleep in his clothes, and tried to calm him down. You just wanted him to know he was safe and that you were there for him, no matter what.

“I’m going to get rid of these, get some sleep, okay?”

His eyes searched yours for any sign that you were going to leave only to call Hotch but he could see the sincerity in your eyes, he knew you weren’t going to do that. Not yet, at least. So, he nodded and closed his eyes, deciding to leave his fate in your hands.

A part of you suspected that Hotch already knew. He was far more experienced than you, after all. If you could see the signs then surely he could too. The only thing you couldn’t understand was why he hadn’t done anything about it.

Perhaps he too knew Spencer would likely lose his job or, at the very least, need to take time off of work to recover. Maybe he couldn’t afford to not have him on the team. Or, maybe he trusted Spencer to work through it on his own. Either way, you were angry that no one had done anything to help him.

So, with shaky hands, you poured the bottles down the drain and went back to his bag, digging through it to make sure there was nothing left. He had told you the truth and given you all he had with him. Still, you took the needles to dispose of them too.

When you returned to your room, he was already fast asleep.

You brushed his hair from his face, wanting to check he was okay, and whispered more to yourself than to him, “We’ll get you clean, Reid. I promise.”

feel free to let me know if you want to be added to or removed from my taglist!

[28whitepeonies]

Don't you think that at this point If someone is still talking over Maya and questioning her words, they're not going to change. That these endless posts about a narcissistic man with serious addiction issues goes right over his stupid fan's heads. I'm not criticizing the reblog but just asking is this really change we can make

So I have a couple of thoughts in response to this.

Firstly, I find the idea that people’s politics, or people more generally, can’t change to be quite absurd. Young women in particular are vulnerable to predatory men, partly because they are brought up in a society which tells them constantly that they are worth less than men, that misogyny is normal and that violence against women and girls is something they have to tolerate. Most young women are surrounded by people who uphold patriarchal structures and perpetuate misogyny on a daily basis. Depending on their circumstances and their experiences, some of them will more readily reject that than others, but to be abundantly clear the idea that women behaving this way is because they’re stupid is wrong. It’s a response to the world we live in, and while it perpetuates harm I think it is quite clear how that response happens.

Years of organising has shown me that people’s politics can change, if you’ve ever stood on a picket line with someone who has joined a trade union in the middle of their life you’ll know this. While I think you can on some occasions influence that change you need to have a relationship with that person, the material conditions of someone’s life are far more influential and building solidarity with them can have a more lasting impact. I think it’s really important to hold space for people to be able to change. Trying to change the behaviours of strangers on the internet is of no interest to me.

Secondly, you asked my reblog can really change that - the obvious answer is no. Me posting on tumblr isn’t going to change the world, and it’s certainly not an attempt at changing someone’s behaviour. I do think it’s incredibly important to show young women in particular that another response to predatory men exists, and that de-centring men can make their lives much better.

I think it’s important not to let spaces you enjoy become a vacuum of things you disagree with, I like tumblr and I’m going to talk about the things that matter to me and the things I believe in. I wouldn’t follow someone who wanted to defend Liam and I’ll keep talking about why I think the way people behave in response to him is harmful - but that harm isn’t so much about Liam, or indeed really about Maya (beyond hoping she gets the support she needs), it’s about the way it effects the people perpetuating it.

[triforce-of-mischief]

Aromantic (Wild)

Summary: Tarrey Town is a thriving tourist spot centered on romance- not that Wild cares for the idea. Hyrule does his best to understand.

Words: 570

AO3

Written for @queering-the-chain

Please reblog to show your support! Likes do nothing.

Wild sat on the inn’s balcony, overlooking the water and hills surrounding Tarrey Town. He enjoyed visiting, seeing how the place had grown since he had last checked in. He remembered when it had been nothing but an empty peninsula, crowded with trees and rocks rather than houses and people. He was glad that he was able to show it to his friends, too.

He heard the door open behind him and turned to see Hyrule standing at the top of the stairs. “Mind if I join you?” the traveler asked softly. “There’s an awful lot of people down there, and Wind is a menace with kids younger than he is.”

“Yeah, of course,” Wild said, waving at the bench opposite him. “Hudson said he’s hoping to expand, but it still gets crowded fast.”

“That old lady said you helped build this town all by yourself?” Hyrule asked, and Wild grinned.

“I wouldn’t say I helped that much… I gathered wood and found people across a few regions to get things started, but it’s really the gorons and Hudson who built it up, and Rhondson and Fyson handled trade while Kapson took over this inn.”

“Don’t be so modest!” Hyrule laughed. “I heard you even arranged a wedding?”

Wild touched the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Really, I didn’t do that much… Hudson and Rhondson made all the plans, I just gathered the priest and guests.”

“It’s a beautiful place for a wedding,” Hyrule said, apparently trying to spare him.

Wild hummed and nodded. “Hudson chose a good spot. Apparently the bell is already becoming a tourist destination, too.”

Hyrule leaned on the table, resting his chin on his hand as he smirked at Wild. “Come on, it must have gotten you thinking. Wouldn’t you like to have a wedding here?”

Wild grimaced, picking at a knot in the wooden table. “The wedding was nice, sure. It felt like everything else- I was happy to help. I like seeing people happy, even if- even if I don’t really understand the reason.”

“You’ve never thought about settling down with someone?” Hyrule frowned, immediately more serious. “Your Zelda, or anybody else?”

Wild shook his head, hard. “Zelda and I are good friends, that’s all. I’ve never felt something for her, same as every other person I’ve met.”

The Zora tunic, perfect-fitting as it was, had always felt itchy on his skin.

“I understand that. I didn’t think I liked anyone either, until I met Aurora. I still like adventuring more than anything, but maybe one day…” Hyrule had that faint smile on his face, the one Sky had when he talked about Sun, or Time when he got to see Malon.

Wild appreciated the effort, but Hyrule clearly didn’t feel the same as he did. “I’ll never want to spend time with a person more than the land. If you told me I had to choose somebody, care about a relationship more than freedom and fresh air… I won’t be able to do it, ever.”

“It’s alright if you don’t find someone, or don’t want to. If you’re happy by yourself, helping people and exploring the kingdom, I think that’s enough,” Hyrule said, staring in the direction of the sea. “I don’t see why anyone should care about what you choose or feel.”

Wild closed his eyes against the breeze. He was happy, knowing that he would never change.

[killmymind]

ever since liam passed i have lost friends and mutuals i loved and i can’t stop thinking about it. so i want to say something.

i became a fan of 1d when i was 13, and i am 25 now. so much has changed since then, but i wanna make one thing clear: i never wanted this. why would i? my teenage years belong to one direction. i joined this fandom because of liam. i probably wouldn’t be where i am right now if it weren’t for them.

so when maya opened up about her experience with him, i was angry. i was upset, and hurt for her, and selfishly for me, who had to accept that the person i loved wasn’t the one i had made up in my head.

and then, unexpectedly, this happens. and i find myself grieving and mourning but also having all these mixed feelings of guilt, sadness, anger and confusion. how am i supposed to feel? am i even allowed to grieve?

so from the bottom of my heart, i really am sorry if i said the wrong thing and brought up stuff i should have kept to myself when the wound is still fresh. i am not sure if mentioning his abusive behavior during this time was the right thing to do. i thought it shouldn’t be something to straight up ignore and pretend it didn’t happen, but maybe under these circumstances i could have been quiet. or maybe i’m wrong about this as well. because my head is a mess, and i am confused, hurt and in pain.

so forgive me if i haven’t been able to express myself properly. i never expected this to happen, and i don’t know how to navigate this grief.

but one thing i am not gonna let people do is tell me i can’t talk about liam, reblog posts about him, feel sad about his passing, and mourn him. at one point in my life, i loved that man with everything that i was. i am going to let myself feel these complicated emotions and try to make sense of these feelings, whether you like it or not.

it’s such a shame everything ended the way it did. i loved you. i hope one day we can meet again, but for now, i’ll leave you alone.

take care and stay safe x

[nothums-from-tj]

Benson Dunwoody: Upbringing Headcanons and Interpretations

From someone who’s only seen seasons 1-3, parts of 4-6 and none of 7-8 yet

Hi I’ve been rewatching Regular Show which I didn’t get to finish since I lost cable by the time I was like 13 or so (2014-15) so I didn’t really see the end of it and I started losing some interest by s4-5, so that’s why only parts of it. I’m older now and realizing I have sooo many similarities to him and his childhood from what I’ve seen/known this far and I’m having fun so ! Hope y’all do too :]

I’ll likely reblog when I’ve gotten further into the series!! If any episodes aren’t noted that are referenced I either haven’t watched them yet (saw a clip) or have been named previously!!

Even without his father teaching him that he needs to yell to earn things, he would’ve probably turned out to have a loud speaking voice anyhow as it seems the yelling was a common occurrence (“Think Positive”)

As the baby in the family, he probably saw so much shit his older sister had to deal with as far as “you did the littlest thing wrong so you’ve ruined everything” he probably did everything he could to avoid upsetting people

He’s def a people pleaser as we see how he is with Mr. Maellard and how hard he pushes the crew to try to fit Maellard’s standards (“Benson Be Gone” particularly comes to mind)

I think he used to be really similar to Mordecai and Rigby growing up and why he’s especially hard on them

Doesn’t necessarily count under this category whoops- I’d say he’s only like 5-ish years older than Mordecai and Rigby (his table hockey days were 10 years prior to season 2 where they would’ve been like 13-14, Benson could’ve easily been 18-19 or so though I’ll look into other flashbacks of him to calculate) (“Stick Hockey”)

He’s very emotionally neglected providing his father told him he’s not good at anything and his dreams are dumb or something along those lines

Growing up with OCD/other anxiety disorders is a nightmare and he checks sooo many boxes (as someone with OCD/a couple anxiety disorders since childhood), particularly how he often mentions that he has nothing left without his job at the park as if there are no options whatsoever (“Busted Cart”)

On top of that, the main reason he does stay at the park is for respect and control, something he’d never received at home (upon Hair to the Throne offering him his position back in the band and he denied saying he likes working at the park, despite referring to himself in s2 as “a no-good loser stuck working at a park for the rest of his life”) (“150 Piece Set”)

He used to try to reach out to his parents often upon moving away from home and it took him not being able to contact them for like a week and a half or so for. Idk whatever reason to realize they never reached out first or even really cared enough to know what was going on w him for him to stop reaching out and he hasn’t really heard from them since

Has had a gambling addiction since crazy young, seeing he’s claimed that he’s best at cards and the way he used to gamble his life at table hockey on a regular basis, enough so he brought in seemingly a family member to join him and it took said apprentice to lose his life in order for him to stop playing

Also since I say he was about 18-19 at the time of being a table hockey master, he had to’ve been playing either publicly or with the right person to get discovered especially as his father tried to tell him that he has no talents, and it must’ve started when he found either this or cards as something he’s really good at (“Fortune Cookie”)

He didn’t seem to grow up with many friends and he never learned how to be patient or even too kind, even trying his best efforts weren’t doing too well, though he did gain respect and appreciation from others in authority by going above and beyond or at least doing what was asked of him when his peers wouldn’t (noting his sensitivity to others believing he has little to no personal/social life) (“Weekend At Benson’s”, “Eggscellent”)

I’ll be sure to add on when I have more!!! Loving this silly little gumball machine rn