#I would totally have a movie night with all of them except Airachnid

[zenxenophilia]

Movie Night Headcanons with the TFP Cons

Megatron:  It would probably take a good deal of convincing on your end to get him to sit down and watch something with you.  He’s a busy guy after all.  He’s got an entire planet to conquer.  But, should you ask him nicely enough he will begrudgingly agree to take in an Earth film with you.  The two of you watch an old, award-winning classic together like Patton, or Ben-Hur.  Megatron ends up being pleasantly surprised with the movie selections.  He hates to admit humans are good at anything besides slave labor, but even still he can’t help but admire the grand scale and sheer spectacle of those old Hollywood films.  (Just don’t ever let him watch anything below at 90% Rotten Tomatoes rating.  He’ll probably end up trying to destroy the film studio.)

Starscream:  He’s a bit skeptical of the idea at first (humans just sit and watch these “films” for a couple of hours without doing anything else?  What’s the point?)  He’ll pretend to be really snide and condescending about agreeing to the idea, but secretly he’s a bit intrigued (he’s heard all about movies from Knock Out, and he can’t help but feel a bit curious)  With a knowing smirk, you pop in The Count of Monte Cristo.  “It’s about a super smart and handsome guy that gets wrongfully imprisoned by his totally jealous, less cool buddies and plans elaborate revenge schemes for each of them.”  Starscream sits glued to the screen the entire time with a gleam in his optics. You smile happily and watch his wings flutter whenever one of Dantes’ conspirators meets their timely end.

Soundwave:  He’s totally down for the idea!  In fact, he’s got a whole database worth of films he specifically picked out just for you for just such an occasion.  As soon as he gets off work, the two of you sneak away to his hab suit and settle in for a total binge sesh.  Watching movies with Soundwave is fun, because you can make all the silly comments and jokes you want, and he’ll never complain or tell you to be quiet.  In fact, he’ll often join in as only he can do, replaying a particularly humorous or otherwise noteworthy clip over his visor. You might need to gently remind him that organics do occasionally need to sleep, however (No Soundwave.  You cannot watch all 8 Harry Potter films at 3 in the morning.  They need to sleep!)

Knock Out:  Of course he’s down for the idea!  He loves Earth movies!  He does you one better by taking you out to one of his favorite drive-ins, instead of being stuck in the Nemesis all day.  The two of you get a really good seat up front, since he doesn’t have to worry about sneaking around the back without a human.  Since drive-in theatres have a tendency to play a wide variety of films, Knock Out’s learned to enjoy all different kinds of genres, with horror and racing movies being his favorite.  He asks you all kinds of questions about movies and the movie industry in general, which you’re always happy to answer.  Occasionally, he’ll get very annoyed if a movie sounds too cliché, or the characters aren’t fully fleshed out.  “Come on!  I could do a better job than that!  And I’m not even a human!”  The two of you secretly collaborate on a mind-blowing, Oscar-bait screenplay in your spare time.

Breakdown:  Movie night? Sure!  Anything to get away from commander screechypants for a bit.  He’d be happy to take you to a drive in, but if you’d prefer a night in instead, he’ll help you build a massive pillow fort in his hab suite for you two to hang out in.  He even brought you some of your favorite snacks for you to enjoy while you watch (Thanks, BD!)  He likes a lot of big budget action films with lots of explosions, but also has kind of a soft spot for romantic comedies (the good ones though, like When Harry Met Sally.  He’s not going to watch some 28 Dresses Later scrap or whatever.)  If you two decide to watch a horror film, he’ll let you curl up against him if you get scared.  He gets scared too, but he won’t admit it.  Knock Out thinks you’re both dorks, but will totally come chill in your fort with you if you ask.

Dreadwing:  He thinks the idea is silly at first.  Aren’t there more practical hobbies you could be occupying your time with?  Still, if anyone can convince the big surly banana to sit down for a movie marathon, it’s you.  You appeal to his sense of honor and warrior spirit with films like Gladiator, The Patriot, and Braveheart.  He finds it easy to identify with the strong, dependable protagonists in those movies, and ends up actually enjoying himself a great deal.  If you mention that any of the main characters remind you of him, he’ll flush and cough awkwardly at the unexpected (but greatly appreciated) compliment.  

Airachnid:  At first she’s a bit confused as to the concept of movie nights, but when you explain it to her a bit more she becomes rather excited.  She’s heard so much about your Earth movies and is eager to see some for herself.  You meet up later that night after having selected a number of your favorite movies for you both to watch, only to find out that Airachnid has a selection of her own. She did some research while you where away.  “Why didn’t you ever tell me that humans could be so wonderfully disturbing, my dear?” She pops in one gory, erotic, hard-core torture porn flick after another, totally not even paying attention as to whether you’re actually enjoying yourself or not.  If you find that you’ve had just about as much squick as you can take, you can sneak off to Knock Out and Breakdown’s suite.  They’ll build a pillow fort with you and let you watch all the fluffy Disney movies you want.

Shockwave:  The only way you’re going to get this mech to watch a movie with you is if it’s educational in some way.  If you convince him that learning about humans and Earth in general is beneficial to his research, he’ll watch a documentary series with you like Planet Earth or something about WW2.  Be careful what you let him watch however.  He gets extremely annoyed at the concept of mockumentaries.  Don’t ever let him watch something about cryptids, or anything vaguely supernatural.  “Why would they produce a film in an educational format, when it has absolutely no scientific evidence to back it up?”  “I dunno?  Because it’s fun?”  “It’s not logical.”  “It’s… not really supposed to be, Shockwave…”