#I would love to see the moment when numair first saw alanna use her magic

[enter-the-bogman]

Reading through the Tortall books in publication order is funny because you start with Alanna “the village healing woman taught me all she knew” going off to become a knight, and end with Numair “world’s most powerful mage” as young Arram Draper first learning magic at the Carthaki university. Because of the 40 intervening years and five(?) different series further developing the Tortall universe, the magic system is now SO much more complex.  Arram is learning an elementally-based, heavily theory-dependent form of magic where conceptual power is applied to physical objects or energy constructs. His teachers make him develop skills in non-magical areas like juggling, jewelry making, and gardening so eventually they can safely guide him through complicated applications of magic. In comparison, Alanna complains that Duke Roger is spending too much time on theory in order to prevent her and her peers from learning “actual magic” and becoming his rivals. And then she throws purple light at things until they explode or she passes out! We also learn from Arram’s misadventures that most of “magic” is creating methods of applying, storing, and accessing power so the user doesn’t drain their own life force and pass out or die. Alanna uses NONE of these techniques; instead, she pulls her magic directly out of her own life force, thinks about what she wants it to do, and hopes she reaches that goal before draining herself. She even (sometimes) factors in the impact of magically draining herself of energy while attempting tasks that require both magical and physical endurance (such as when deciding how much magic to spend warming herself when making her blizzard hike to claim the Dominion Jewel.)

For one thing, this makes Alanna insanely powerful. In In the Hand of The Goddess, she breaks open Roger’s magically locked door (presumably designed by Roger himself-- an immensely strong and well-trained sorcerer) by shoving her own magic into it until it MELTS. This builds an Alanna who decided magical theory was useless at age 12 because she has an immense access to magical potential energy, and who never learns the basic life-preserving models of magic usage that are taught in intro-level classes. She doesn’t have an interest in learning more sophisticated forms of magic, except in healing, which she cared about enough to learn non-magically. So when she heals, she uses magic as a guide or a supplement, rather than depending on it and then draining herself.  Since she isn’t attempting complex magic, most of the time the limitations of drawing directly from her own life force doesn’t impact her that much. The things she does magically all have much more efficient alternatives, but they require an understanding of magical theory and ability to store energy that Alanna never learned! If she wants to do larger spells, she just keeps feeding energy into it until it breaks or she does. 

The intervening series and Numair’s story makes Alanna’s simultaneously more and less believable. It now makes sense why everyone with even a slight understanding of Alanna’s type of Gift gets angry at times and tells her she’s using magic irresponsibly. (Before, we only understood Alanna’s side of the argument: “Well, I didn’t die and it worked, so calm down.” !!!) The fact that she never actually dies and only rarely is seriously harmed through her own magic use now requires some suspension of disbelief!

[copperhawks]

Sav asks for a moment to think over everything Numair has said, promising he’ll make it back in time to dance with Numair later. As Numair leaves, though, he sees Don approaching and decides to quickly go change into a hawk to keep an eye on the confrontation.

Because he’s a nosy nancy.

Sav doesn’t greet Don particularly kindly, but it seems Don is making yet another attempt at reconciliation, though this time he’s trying harder to be kind himself, with Numair not actually in the room.

We have a lot of resentment built up, I guess, and it makes it hard to be sensible around you when I just want to lash out and hurt you like I’ve been hurt. That’s terrible. I’m terrible. We can’t keep doing this.

Don CAN acknowledge his own wrongdoings, as much as Sav seems to believe that he can’t. As much as Sav seems to believe Don is willfully blind about it all, this whole scene is an example of why that isn’t true. At least with regards to his relationship to Sav, he isn’t incapable of admitting to his own mistakes and at least claiming a desire to be better.

As Sav said to Numair back in chapter 21, apologies without action are manipulation. This might be where Sav’s experience with that comes from, as his response to Don’s apology and promise to do better is resounding disbelief in Don’s ability to even know what better is. Though Sav relates that assumption more to Don’s treatment of his own people and the laws on magic than he is talking about their personal relationship.

Sav, however, fresh off of Numair’s story about Ozorne and advice not to let Don drag him down, is not quite giving Don enough credit. We know from Constant that just before the assassins hit, Don had voted against further restrictions on mages, against the majority opinion. His reaction to Numair melting the courtyard also was mostly jealousy as we later see him inform Constant rather dismissively that Numair is welcome to come teach Constant things in the palace (though he obviously doesn’t know that the thing Constant is being taught is magic). 

Don is not a wall, he is not refusing to see sense, as we have more than once gotten indications that Sav’s view of Don, or Elspeth’s view of Don, or even Daine’s view of Don, are not quite seeing the whole truth. The closest we get to that truth is through Constant, who through his somewhat unique view of the world, is a mostly objective observer. He is one of the few people we’ve seen Don calm and rational around. Everyone else he lashes out at, whether it’s because they treat him like royalty (Rain) or he feels they don’t respect him (basically everyone else). Everyone but Constant.

Things become awkward and Don tries to bring up things like Ossika and why Sav left so quickly after the assassins were subdued, which Sav uses as an opportunity to try to talk to Don about Ossika and warn him of the people in his midst who could be a threat. He even tries to bring up Numair’s discovery with the opals and his thoughts on what they’re doing to Don, but he doesn’t get much further than Numair’s name before Don is demanding to know if Sav loves Numair.

Does he make you happy? That’s all I came to ask. I mean, initially, I came to apologise for my behaviour this morning, but then I saw you were alone with him and I realised I couldn’t … intrude. Until he was gone. And now I want to know if you’re happy or, if you could be. Could you be? If he does, you should pursue that. We very rarely get happiness, people like us. It would be nice if at least one of us escaped that.

While Sav refuses to answer this question, this is a massive moment of growth for Don. Earlier in the scene he admits that he can’t quite bring himself to be HAPPY for Sav’s new relationship, but he also loves Sav enough to recognize that Sav has an opportunity here, one he’d be remiss not to take. He does want Sav’s happiness, but he’s honest enough to admit that he’d rather Sav found that happiness with him than Numair.

It’s a step closer to figuring things out, for Don. Just a step, a baby one. But making this choice, here, to let Sav go, to tell him that he should take any opportunity for happiness he finds because they’re so precious, is an important one for their relationship. I mentioned earlier that one of the biggest issues in their relationship is the sense of possessiveness that is inherent to their relationship to the imbalance of power in it. Sav was born to be an extension of Don, was handed over in order to act as such when he was just a baby, stripped of family and friends so that he could live the rest of his life belonging to his monarch. Don recognizing that that doing what’s best for Sav may not be what’s best for himself, realizing that Sav is genuinely happy with someone else and begging him not to restart the relationship as he did during the face painting scene but just to try to be friends again, at the very least to be CIVIL to each other for Constant and Daine’s sake. That’s important.

Equally as important is Sav’s response to Don talking about his impending nuptials and his worries about who he can trust, who he should yield to.

While your plight grieves me, it’s not mine. Fight your own battles, Don. I am not your sword anymore.

As important as it is for Don to let Sav go, it’s just as important for Sav to let Don go. They’ll always love each other, Sav’s admitted to as much, but that doesn’t mean they have to BE together. Sav doesn’t have to let himself be consumed by Don. Don doesn’t have to lean on Sav alone.

Sav NEEDS that distance between himself and Don, for his own sake. Sav seems to be aware that if he lets himself grow close again, if he gives even an inch, then he’ll likely just let himself get sucked back into old habits and old patterns.

But Don has been left alone because of this and recognizes that, personally and politically, he NEEDS someone in his corner. And for most if not all of his life, that person has been Sav. He doesn’t seem to have anyone else he can truly turn to, so time and again, when given the opportunity, he tries to bring Sav back. 

Constant described the their relationship as isolating and all-encompassing. Neither of them could think about anyone else when together. Neither of them left ROOM for anyone else when together. They’re very co-dependent, to both of their detriment.

One of the things that allowed Jon to do as well as he did when he had to take over the throne at a very young age was his MANY relationships with the other noble sons he grew up with (and Alanna). Even if the older nobility had been picked off the way Galla’s nobility has been, Jon would not have been left entirely alone. He’d still have Raoul and Gary and the other boys he’d met and known and become friends with. Jon had a relationship with Alanna, sure, but his entire existence did not revolve around her. Alanna was not his only confidant or his only friend the way it seems Sav was for Don. And the same is true in the reverse, Alanna had friends outside of Jon, outside of their smaller page/squire friend group. Both of them had support outside of each other in a way Sav and Don didn’t. So when their relationship fell apart, it didn’t destroy them and it didn’t force Jon into a position where he was ruling by himself with no one to turn to but an ex who can’t stand to be around him.

Sav meeting Numair is the first step he’s taken to create a new network of support outside of Don. It provides Sav with someone to confide in and be vulnerable to that ISN’T DON.

Don doesn’t have that. Not yet, at least. If he’s going to be saved, if GALLA is going to be saved, he’s going to need someone to stand in his corner with him.

And it can’t be Sav.

[televinita]

To Tortall!

Once upon a time in middle school, when I was much bigger on fantasy than I am now, I found Tamora Pierce by way of the Immortals quartet, and I loved it! I eventually read Alanna too, but her quartet felt the way to me that high school kids 3+ years older than me felt -- like they were from a a completely different generation and could never have really been my age. So she was always stuck as the Cool Older Cousin -- whereas Daine was my contemporary.

The point is, I was fooling around on Libby and saw they’d just added an audiobook of Alanna: The First Adventure, only 5 hours! What an easy way to revisit Tortall in order, I thought, having the new Numair Chronicles’ existence in the back of my mind. But there was a wait list on the book, and while I was waiting I thought about it and decided, nah, just like when I decided to read Pierce the first time, what’s gonna interest me more -- a girl boringly disguising herself as a boy to do something as boring as training to be a knight, or a girl who can magically TALK TO ANIMALS??

So I canceled that hold, snagged the audiobook of Wild Magic instead (even though that’s a more standard eight hour commitment), and now I’m halfway through it and I have some thoughts.

First, More Background: I remember nothing of this series except Cloud the gray mare, Daine being able to communicate with her, one scene (possibly in a later book) where she finds out why all these birds in an aviary are getting sick -- I think it’s because they had lead poisoning from the paint on their cage -- and the faint certainty that I super-loved her relationship with Numair despite the age difference, though I can’t remember why. I don’t even know the titles of the 3rd and 4th books (I do remember the 2nd, because I bought it new at a book fair -- I think I didn’t realize it was a 2nd book at the time, which might have been another reason I started w/ this instead of Alanna. Eventually got rid of it though, sadly).

Now, thoughts while reading so far:

* Holy crap Stormwings and Spidrons sound TERRIFYING. ...oh, I guess that’s why it’s called the “Immortals” quartet. I was wondering.

* Onua is so freaking awesome. How do I not remember her.

* It was SO COOL seeing Alanna ride up, not knowing it would be her until she got off her horse and was described as super-short, but then knowing...basically exactly as much as Daine, aware of her but not what she’s like as a person.

* I LOVE THIS WEIRDO KINGDOM WHERE THE KING AND QUEEN JUST TURN UP IN RANDOM PLACES and are like “hey, call me Jonathan, I’m just a normal dude who happens to have a crown and some guy-in-charge responsibilities or whatever. Good to meet you!”

(I also love that Daine has gone from orphan waif to having like six different career prospects in the span of about a month. She’s Just That Wonderful.)

* Weird that I don’t remember the badger who comes to her dreams. Or what Happened in the past that makes her so afraid to surrender to the wild magic (was SHE the rabid bear?? or did she just call it out?).

* Speaking of questions, are we gonna find out who her dad is? Is he someone we’ll know by the time we find out he’s her dad? Why did her mom decided to bone him out of wedlock anyway? Does Daine ever get to meet him? Trying so hard not to spoil self but it’s DIFFICULT.

* OK I knew there was an age difference but Daine is THIRTEEN when Numair meets her? THIRTEEN?? I can’t tell quite how old he is but IT FEELS LIKE HE’S IN HIS TWENTIES, definitely an adult at least, and I normally have no qualms about falling in love with someone after they grow up just because you knew them as a kid (love me some Mr. Knightley), but I STILL FEEL A LITTLE AWKWARD ABOUT MY PLANS TO LOVE THIS LATER.

(make no mistake, I will love it, partly because I’m not one of those boring women who looks back on what she romanticized as a kid and cringes, and partly because I totally forgot that 1. he’s her teacher/mentor (!!!) and 2. fantasy is one of the few genres you’re allowed to enjoy a romance that develops out of that kind of relationship. I just gotta get over my initial Yikes feelings. Which I will, because they’re not exactly flirting yet and I suspect they won’t for a while, so this is just the groundwork-laying stage where I get to fully enjoy the appropriate side of the relationship that builds a foundation for what comes later. )

That said:

*Me, suspecting this weird black hawk is actually a human/used to be a human but struggling to figure out what his possible importance to Onua/Alanna is: *squinting Oprah face*

Me when he turns back into a human and someone finally says his name: *New York’s Beyonce face* “NUMAIR??” *giddy dance that he’s already here, he’s already here AND their acquaintance started with her saving his life???*

* On another note, this audiobook is RESPLENDENT (narrated by the author + a full cast, and it has cool medieval-music interludes between chapters and scene breaks).

-------

P.S. After a moment of indecision I just read up on Alanna real quick on the fandom wiki for Tortall, and WHEW her love life sounds messy and possibly devastating (and that bit about her losing her virginity at 17, out of wedlock? I feel like I vaguely recall retching about that once before). I am less excited than ever to go back to her story; maybe I never will; I’m cool knowing the same amount about her that Daine does! She can just be a full-fledged accomplished lady knight with a cool husband and some kids back home already, and my mind can know peace.