#I would kinda like to see more trans characters in whump

[psychoticwillgraham]

putting this kink discussion post under a read more bc im kinda embarrassed about it

TW: talk of sexual gore

gonna out myself as more of a freak with this post: anyone else got a super niche, and I mean super niche, kink that they can’t find jack shit for? bc im making my own weird ass au (for u already know what ship) just so I can even make content for it.

ok, so y’all know that episode of billy and mandy where the brain eating rock alien literally eats brains by using its tentacles through the ear? yeah. uh. that’s my most niche kink, all thanks to that show. that specific episode gave me horrible nightmares as a kid, but when I rewatched it a few years ago, i realized that it was uh. really hot 😬 like the concept of someone not being able to think for themselves and having the monster/eldtrich being make them do whatever they want the person to do and they just have to take it? and they clearly enjoy it? yeah 👀

that kinda goes with my hive mind kink where characters have this done and are at the complete mercy of the monster (but it HAS to be consensual in the first place, so its like a mutual satisfaction thing), and unable to stop it, basically being a glorified fucktoy 👀👀 OH and they control the person’s thoughts so literally, head empty no thoughts.

so im doing an au (that’ll be posted on my whump blog first before I even think about putting it on ao3 bc it’s gonna probably be the weirdest hannigram fic on there and the most extreme, but I might as well let my freak flag fly) where will is cursed with immortality and I mean true immortality where he can’t die as long as there’s at least a piece of his body left, so to truly die, the heat death of the universe would have to happen, yeah lmao

and then you have hannibal, who’s the last of his eldtrich kind and needs to find a suitable vessel to carry his young (yes will is a trans man in this au just bc I want him to be), so he finds out about Will and sets off on trying to court him. he realizes pretty quickly that Will’s Different, and decides to test that theory by straight up stabbing him through the heart with a hardened tentacle (or w/e idk yet), therefore revealing himself. they get to know each other and obviously Will isn’t gonna out hannibal, so they begin a highly fucked up, very messy (gore wise) sexual relationship.

now when I mean gory, I mean gory. bc if you can’t die no matter what and have a kink for said gore, and ur boyfriend is an eldtrich abomination who’s a cannibalistic serial killer, wouldn’t you take advantage of that and constantly die during sex in the most fucked up and nasty ways? i mean I would, but I’m just a nasty freak. and the aforementioned kink in the beginning of this post is a thing in this as well. so the au is just an excuse for me to write creative gory sex scenes and see how nasty I can get. honestly I probably won’t even post certain parts of it unless a few people want me to.

i rlly think that this might be the limit for a lot of the fandom fic wise so I’m prepared to get shit for it. that’s why it’s going on my secret (only if I don’t give u the link) whump blog. so yeah that’s that.

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

Thinking of ways that chest binding could be used in a whump scenario,,,

These mostly pertain to transmasculine characters, but they could probably apply to any character of any gender with reason to bind.

Prompts might have content triggering to those with gender dysphoria.

The obvious: Whumpee getting a broken rib from unsafe binding.

Whumpee not taking off their binder for days on end. Doing this long enough to develop back and breathing problems.

Whumpee is afraid that Whumper will take away their chest binder, so they never take it off.

Whumpee binding to hide their sex/gender from Whumper. Maybe they’re a transgender man who is trying to hide that they’re trans. Maybe they’re a woman trying to hide that they’re a woman. Maybe it’s something else entirely.

Whumpee not having access to their usual chest binder so they have to make an impromptu one out of the materials they have with them.

Whumper only lets Whumpee bind as a reward for when they’re good.

Whumpee doesn’t want to bind, but Whumper forces them to for whatever reason. They have to keep it in even when they get broken ribs and develop breathing problems.

And for a little comfort: Whumpee comes out as transmasculine to Caretaker, and Caretaker gifts them a binder.

[ghost-in--the-room]

I really want to reboot the a team as a tv series. like there are things wrong with the original yes but that's where reboots can improve on.

I mean most of their episodes where about fighting against corrupt police, landlords and big corporations. Something I think everyone would be happy to see. and cause I guess people like overarching season plots could do with the series final about taking down corrupt government/military.

Lot more under cut

I mainly love the characters, the main reason to reboot it as shows like leverage and white collar do similar stuff. (tho there can never be enough shows like leverage)

I mean Hannibal who just goes super deep into acting monsters from trashy films. Would def have an SFX make up YouTube channel but because he is wanted by the police he does SFX on top of SFX. or just using the videos to roast and taunt the heck out of Decker.

Then B.A. who is not only the muscle guy but the tech guy being about to make anything out of anything. He is quit literally the definition of soft teddy bear on the inside as he spends all his free time doing outreach programs for kids.

Next there is Face conman grifter extraordinaire. He is materialistically greedy and always whines about doing the dirty work but he will do it and give hiss money away if it meant saving someone. Also I really want at least one Clark Kent moment with glasses.

Finally we have the most competent member of the team, Murdock. Can fly or drive anything (but the van), con with the best of them (face) and single handily save the other three. He can also be serious enough when on the job and going through his episodes (which i am not qualified in mental health enough to really comment).

AND THE FOUND FAMILY!!!!

Face a guy who is an orphan joining the army to find a father figure in Hannibal and family in the a team.

B.A. being everyone's brother (especially Murdock) arguing with them all the time but being soft when they are hurt.

Murdock finding people who don't treat him different because he isn't normal (Face and Hannibal. Even B.A. who calls them all crazy fools.)

Hannibal herding his crazy baby ducks to be the best they can be.

Face and Murdock being best friends always ready to 100% back the other up when they do something stupid in a con.

Also the return of Amy Allen who not only can be used to explain things to the audience cause the team working alone wouldn't really need to explain what the team are doing but could also be someone to bring a more civilian look into a case or maybe even like a parallel to the a team of someone trying to make a difference on the more legal side through media. Who has no connection to the a team but always ends up writing a piece on the justice that needs to be done (which is done by the a team)

And while the movie focused more on the action side I think this show worked more because of the comedy, characters and the unreal realism it had. I wouldn't make it a dark and gritty show. I'd keep it that people didn't die. That the bad guys always got beaten with only cuts and bruises. The good guys would always win because I feel like shows like this are meant to show the world there are problems in the world but give people hope that they can fix them. I.E. yeah you can make people be sad but shows are should comfort people. (would defiantly love some Face whump)

things that I would add that would never happen

Face being bi/pan/poly

B.A. being trans

Murdock being queer, having ADHD, autism and PTSD

Hannibal liking to wear making and wearing "women's" clothes even outside of jobs.

Amy Allen being Aro/Ace, having learning disabilities like dyslexia while being a well known writer.

i think i put too many tags as they kinda got messed up but oh well its not like anyone's reading them anyway.

[cross-d-a]

fic tag game

aaahhh @vishcount thank you for tagging me!!! These are so fun and I adored reading about your fic journey~!  ೖ(⑅σ̑ᴗσ̑)ೖ ❤

OH as a note!! For the ppl I tag at the end I don’t expect you to read all of this bc it’s A Lot!!! but I figured you might want to do this game yourself? haha :)

Name: cross-d-a shortened version of my first ever username. unfortunately stuck with it now haha but i’m fond of it :p wish it was cuter tho!!

Posting the rest of this under the cut so it doesn’t eat up people’s dashes!! 

(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Fandoms: 

oKAY YIKES there are....honestly too many too name. I’ve got a short and obsessive attention span so it’s either all or nothing with me usually. When I can stay in a fandom for a long period of time it’s a miracle. I’ll name the bigger ones that I’ve all written fic for! Even if I’ve never posted them haha

Right now I’m very firmly into Daomu Biji (dmbj). It feels like it’s both got a crap ton of content and yet barely anything at all haha. Maybe because the English fandom is so small. But at least there are a bunch of dramas and books!!! I really, really, really adore dmbj so much!! And a large part of that is the fandom!!! It's been a really cool and unique experience! Everyone in it is truly so kind and wonderful, and I’ve made some really incredible friends because of it (looking at you vish!! ❤). I’ve got a bunch of wips, but I’ve only posted two fics for dmbj!

Before this I was very into Guardian and mdzs. MDZS was my first foray into cdramas and Guardian’s Zhu Yilong really suckered me into watching more haha I also have fics for both these fandoms!

My very first fandoms were Fullmetal Alchemist, D. Gray-Man and Naruto. My very old ffnet account has fics for these and I’ve got a bunch of newer wips on my tablet. Then Star Trek, Twilight, BBC Merlin, Sherlock, Death Note, Harry Potter, How to Train Your Dragon, Battlestar Galactica, Avatar the Last Airbender and Marvel were a few of my main ones in high school. Plus a bunch of anime (like Fruits Basket! and Kuroshitsuji and Natsume Yuujinchou). 

Then college hit and I renewed my childhood love of Tolkien (mainly lotr and the Hobbit), and Star Wars. I also found Teen Wolf! Then after college it was Stranger Things. 

I find myself in a cycle of mild fondness and complete obsession with these fandoms haha I go back to Star Wars at least once a year!! Then I’m in the gffa hole for a few months. Marvel also reoccurs, depending on how interested I am in new content! Star Trek I always always always go back to. TOS is my comfort show and it will never fade from my heart ❤

But for now I’m stuck in cdrama hell and I love it

Tropes: 

Time travel, found family, whump+hurt/comfort, fairytale-like elements, resurrective immortality (thanks to a “Nine Lives” Hobbit fic), CROSSOVERS

I’m a slut for all these things so they often worm their way into my plots haha

I also just- love weird premises. I think that’s the anime influencing me haha

Fic I spent most time on: 

My series he leaves sand and stardust in my wake (main fic is hurricane on the edge of oblivion), I have...spent five years on now. I have done so much research for this fic it’s insane. 

The premise is force ghost!Obi-Wan getting shunted back into his tiny 10 year old self. I incorporate a shit ton of legends and I try to stay as canon as possible. I basically want this au to feel like it’s 1000% plausible while still getting all my gay shit. It’s chock full of whump, redemption, found family, minor characters turning into major characters, and I’ve got slavery uprising on the mind, too. It’s just- everything I could ever want to explore in the Star Wars universe basically. 

It’s my first big project. I started doodling and scribbling ideas in the margins of my notebook in my Scottish History class. I adore it so so so much. But, because of my hyperfixation and fleeting intense obsession with things it makes it- really difficult to consistently update. I leave it for months at a time and I am constantly guilt-ridden about it. Because it’s my baby and I have a lot of wonderful readers. I fear I’ll never be able to finish it. Especially since I’ve written so much and I’m still only in the beginning of it. ( ; A ; )

Also, I’ve spent so much time with Xanatos, Feemor and Bruck that they just feel like mine now. I can’t read any fics that involve them, it’s too strange. Which is a damn shame because I love them so much haha OH ALSO!! I think it’s the first really big fic to include those three?? So I’m very proud about that haha (I’ve had so many ppl comment about how they actually Give A Shit about these three and are Invested bc of me haha)

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: 

hurricane on the edge of oblivion (with nowhere to go) (Star Wars)

My long-term passion project. My love-letter to Star Wars, I suppose. Reading it now I feel like a lot of it is clunky or long-winded, but I think it really shows the foundation of my writing today :) Main characters are Obi-Wan, Xanatos Du Crion, Qui-Gon Jinn, Bruck Chun and Feemor. Eventually we’ll get to Maul, Savage, Feral, Shmi Skywalker, (more!) Ahsoka, Anakin and a shit ton of clones ❤

things we hunger for (Guardian)

My Ye Zun self-indulgent fic. It’s a time travel amnesia Weilanzun! Honestly has some of my fav writing I’ve ever done. It’s so soft and really indulges in the hurt/comfort. It gives Ye Zun the friends and family I think he deserves. Also, he gets to grow into a (mostly!) functional person and I adore him.

the beast that slumbers within your soul (mdzs)

Jiang Cheng centric fic!! I feel like all my favourite fics I’ve written are love letters haha. This is one def my love letter to Jiang Cheng. This fic possessed me for two whole days. I wrote 16k in almost one sitting. I went to sleep at 6 in the morning bc I couldn’t stop writing. And when I drifted off I kept thinking of new ideas so I’d whip out my phone and write down lines and notes. I- have never ever ever felt that way about anything. It was- insane. It felt insane. It was so amazing. I’m still riding the memory of that high.

 Basically Jiang Cheng actually finds Baoshan Sanren and it turns out she’s a fox demon and Jiang Cheng is descended from wolves. It’s- okay I said the fic above this had my favourite writing?? That was a lie. This has my favourite writing I’ve ever done. It’s unfinished bc I am in dmbj hell but I am still excited about the next chapter which features Wei Wuxian’s pov!!

the whispers of spirits (dmbj)

My current passion project. In a way it kinda feels similar to hurricane? Bc multiple povs, incorporating different aspects of canon (we’ll get there!! I promise!), shit ton of research, etc. etc. I really really really love it for so many reasons. I’m basically taking all the things I was unsatisfied with in Reboot and Sha Hai and running with it. Found family and whump galore! It’s also a love letter to the women of dmbj who really deserve so so so much better.

Honourable mention to:

One Day (you’ll have given more of yourself than is meant to be taken) (Marvel)

This fic also kinda possessed me. I just- couldn’t get rid of the idea of a trans!Thor. And I mean a mtf Thor! It’s just? So many people look at Thor and go “that’s a Real Man.” Full stop. They never think there could be anything more, and it really really really bothered me. So I wrote out my feelings. I’m not trans. I don’t have that experience at all. I’ve had issues and confusion about my gender but nothing like this. I just wanted to do justice to this idea of Thor in my head. And I still feel a bit nervous having posted it. But I've gotten so many comments from people who really connected with what I’ve written? So I’m very very thankful I wrote it and it has a very special place in my heart. It’s a very cathartic fic.

Fic I spent least time on: 

Probably we rise (Star Wars) and I think it shows haha. I wrote it in response to Dave Filoni posting a drawing of Ahsoka and Gandalf telling her “People thought I was dead, too, and look how that turned out...” So I incorporated Ahsoka (and Din and Grogu and Ezra!!!) into the ending of Rise of Skywalker, kinda explaining how I think they could all still be alive. :)

Longest fic: 

hurricane is my longest fic (159k) but I’m kinda worried whispers will eclipse that.....

Shortest fic: 

Of my posted ones it’s The Five Moments it Took Tony and Scott to Admit They Were Best Friends (and the first time they ever did), currently clocks at 1.6k. It’s unfinished tho so maybe that doesn’t count.... otherwise it’s we rise which is completed and 2k.

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks: 

hurricane overall has the most of all these. Though I don’t think hits counts as much bc it’s multi-chapter. If you discount multi-chapter stuff, most hits goes to my obikin smutfic Homecoming, bc people are horny af haha

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: 

If I had energy I’d like to rewrite the beginning of hurricane bc it feels so so wordy. I’d want to expand on One Day bc I really would like to write a whole series with trans!Thor. And like- I’d really like the focus to finish any of my WIPs.

Share a bit of a WIP: I really wanna share my Guardian/dmbj crossover that I started back in August. Bc I adore the idea of wu xie&shen wei&ye zun triplets! Plus time travel!!! I dunno if I’ll ever finish it tho ( ; A ; ) It just feels like a lot to deal with right now.

This scene takes place during the Mountain Awl arc. Guardian crew and desperado fam run across each other at the village! Wu Xie has recently found out that he’s adopted and he’s searching for answers in the area Sanshu originally found amnesiac!toddler!Wu Xie in :) Gonna pull two snippets bc I’m v excited and this might be the only time anyone else sees this fic haha:

“Oh?” Pangzi focuses on Yunlan now, lips twisting. “You think I’ve ‘got the wrong guy,’ huh?” He laughs, but it’s not a nice sound. “That’s rich! Are you that cocky or are you just stupid?”

Bristling, Yunlan drops his hands and scowls. “Excuse me?”

“Sir,” Shen Wei tries. “I think—”

Pangzi’s eyes snap back to Shen Wei, sharp and blazing. “How dare you fucking steal his face!”

What?

Automatically, Zhao Yunlan turns to Shen Wei, but the professor looks just as shell-shocked as Zhao Yunlan feels which- is seriously something. Since everything about Shen Wei is so carefully controlled, kept to the minimum. Except for those delightful little smiles that bloom across his lovely face, or the startled little bursts of laughter that fall from his lips. Or even when anger and frustration spark across his features, cracking his calm veneer open enough that he can see a glimmer of what lies beneath, the fire in those eyes. Zhao Yunlan delights in those moments, makes a game of making Shen Wei’s control slip.

He tells himself it’s nothing more than a game. Nothing more than trying to find out what makes Shen Wei tick.

Zhao Yunlan’s always been very bad at lying to himself. Or very good. Depending on who you’re asking.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Yunlan splutters.

But before anyone can say anything else, a very familiar voice calls:

“Pangzi? What’s wrong?”

Yunlan can feel Shen Wei stiffen, and Yunlan himself is pulled to that voice like a planet in orbit, like the inevitable plummet to the ground.

Another shadow wavers in the doorway before it steps out onto the dirt. Light illuminates shaggy hair, limning it gold, sharply casting everything else in shadow. But as the figure nears, the contrast softens until Yunlan can see the newcomer’s face properly and- and—

“Wu Xie!” Pangzi growls. “We’ve got ourselves an impostor!”

The man wearing Shen Wei’s face steps up to them, brows furrowed and mouth pulled down into a sharp frown. He glances between them, eyes landing on Shen Wei. His scowl deepens. He opens his mouth, but then—

“Wu Xie?” Shen Wei breathes, all trembly and lost and hopeless.

Heart in his throat, Yunlan turns to Shen Wei again. Turns and flinches at that stricken look upon Shen Wei’s pale pinched face.

“A-Xie?” Shen Wei chokes. “Didi?”

and

Pangzi snorts. “Professor?”

“I-it’s true!”

Startled Yunlan swings his attention over to Jiajia who clenches her backpack to her chest, face screwed up in admirable determination. “P-professor Shen took me and Xiao Quan on a field trip to investigate an archeological site around here!”

“Oh?” Wu Xie drawls all slow and amused. “Well, what a coincidence. We’re archeologists, too.”

“With guns?” Yunlan bites out.

Wu Xie raises a brow, grin full of teeth. “Well, you can never be too prepared.”

“Right,” Yunlan drawls right back. “Are you a professor, too, then? You come here with your students?”

Wu Xie outright grins. “You could say that, I suppose.”

Out of the corner of his eye, one of the men rolls his eyes. He’s the one with sharp features, glasses and looped earbuds. Does he think it’s appropriate to listen to music at a time like this? Yunlan admires the man’s gall.

aahhhh vish thanks so much again for tagging me!! This was so fun to relive my fic memories!! I’m gonna tag @alwaysaslutforshakespeare @jockvillagersonly @tehfanglyfish @lichelleme @undyingsunshine @humanlighthouse  @thewindsofsong I’m curious about your guys’ writing and fandom journey!! As always, no pressure to actually complete this!! I just thought it was fun ❤

Wow if you read all of this I am very humbled and impressed, thank you!!

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[randomfandomimagine]

Heyo love your writing, could you do some headcannons on Jaskier with a trans male s/o that's feeling kinda insecure if your comfortable to

Thank you for requesting! :)

Jaskier:

You were scared of Jaskier’s reaction when he found out

But him, knowing you so well, noticed something was bothering you

Also, he had an idea of what it was, of your big secret

One day, he worriedly asked you what was upsetting you and you spoke

You sat him down and explained to him that you were trans

Jaskier was a little surprised, but deep down he knew

Mostly, he was taken aback that you were so bold and honest about it

He thought you would be a little less direct, but he liked that you just said it

Still, he wasn’t sure how to respond at first

“Oh” He just said initially. “So that was why had you so worried?” 

“Yes…” You refused to look into his eyes, still afraid

Jaskier, behaving like he normally would, took your hands in his

It was good to see he still had no problem touching you

And being as affectionate and loving as usual

“Why, Y/N? Why were you so worried about telling me this?” 

“I was terrified you would see me differently, that you would…”

“Would what, love?” “Stop loving me” 

Jaskier had to laugh a little, thinking that idea is absurd

“I could never stop loving you, and I don’t see you differently” 

He kissed your knuckles and sweetly smiled at you

“If anything, now I know that you’re even braver than I thought”

“But-” “Nu-uh, let me finish. Now I know and I’ll be able to help you” 

“Help me?” “Yes, if you ever need anything, that’s what I’m here for, right?”

You smiled, relieved that he reacted like that, and nodded

Then it was your choice to tell Jaskier the whole thing

About how you lived before and now that you feel like yourself

How you’re still a little insecure sometimes about it

Knowing this, Jaskier would do his absolute best to change that

Complimenting you even more often than usual, for starters

Giving more attention to those body parts you might be insecure about

Being willing to fight anyone that looks at you weird

Just anything for his dear Y/N that he adores so much

Tag list: @kingniazx​ / @greeniemoon​ / @they-call-me-thewildrose​ / @aviankin​ / @jasper-the-stan​ / @v3nusc3​ / @kisabellar / @breezyfails​ / @squirrel-saloli​ / @saveatruckrideoptimusprime​ / @ultracolorfulnerdcollection​ / @creativemayhems​ / @bands-messed-me-up​ / @pantrashtic​ / @buckyness-intensifies​ / @drunkonbuckybarnes​ / @designfailure56​ / @this-is-whump-dammit​ / @anderfelll-s​ // If you want to be added or taken off the tag list for these fandoms or characters, let me know!! // Reblogs and comments are appreciated!

[believerindaydreams]

GBU rewatch followup

...cleaned up, readable version, now with fewer typos and after-the-fact commentary in parentheticals. 

things I am looking out for in particular:

- how to write trios 

- everything that Angel Eyes does (less than I thought, it turns out; I was bang on the money with “Animal Magnetism” having him only exist for Meaningful Moments)

- the state of Eastwood’s hair (with the hat you don’t really notice it except in the desert scenes, when it is Absurd)

- some of that sweet, sweet Morricone music because it’s the one part of the film that no amount of clever writing will adequately evoke and I love it to pieces (still true)

let’s do this thing then

like, the opening credits are pure stylish flair. That can’t be a book. It’s gorgeous. It’s perfect for what it is. has nothing to do with translation to a 70s au but that is entirely, utterly besides the point

Tuco’s “I have a gun in one hand and a dead chicken in the other” will never not make me laugh

SPAIN: specifically the Spanish landscape and how gorgeous it looks. it all sort of runs together, appropriation and reappropriation and Spain standing in for Mexico…oh hello Angel Eyes,  you look a lot more impressive than Tuco does. Nice entrance.

Also we don’t actually know at first that he’s The Bad? He’s just wandering into frame like he could be the Good cowboy or something, it’s not the music that tells you. It’s the way that the guy’s family respond to his presence and just Go without saying anything. Something about Angel def. invokes silence. No wonder he and Blondie get on.

…like, this whole scene where he’s like “I am going to enjoy your delicious soup but stare at you“ is actually hilarious? Like he’s def. got a sense of humour- it’s just that everybody looks subdued with Tuco in the picture.

There’s a very thin divide between the tension of comedy and the tension of “is he gonna kill me” and Angel Eyes just straddles all over that line.

I like you, Man Eating Soup. Too bad you gotta die now.

…yeah, I think my characterisation of “bounty hunter who keeps his given word but has no qualms” is bang on the money.

last time I didn’t notice how Lee’s voice shifts to being more amused when he’s about to do something incredibly violent. Or how great his voice was at all. Like that was clearly a mistake, he’s great.

Tuco! *hearts* With a trio of men surrounding him in a triangle. ‘m sure that’s thematic.

Clint sounds like Rowdy but more terse.

Oh hell I love the way that we get closeups on Tuco staring at things. I love characters who stare at things in general (cf. Stargate and a team who communicate by looks), and Leone delivers there.

“how much you worth now” and Tuco’s just lol I dunno.

oh Tuco you theatrical hooligan nobody believes your absurd accusations. also geez I couldn’t write that many swears if I spent all day over it.

That is a DAMN sexy wanted poster.

Forgot about Blondie calling Tuco “known at the rat” part. Hmm. I wonder what that’s about?

I always forget how choreographed the duo’s escapes are, like it’s not just shooting a rope, there’s a lot of effort that go into those.

you smug thing Clint. you smug thing. (I assume this was just one of his wry looks past the camera, as he does a lot).

does trans! Angel Eyes in the 70s smoke a pipe. Yes. Yes he does.

“even a filthy beggar like that has got a protecting angel” oh Angel Eyes you has a crush. also a pretty good sense for a scam- are we meant to infer that Angel and Tuco used to play this game? (Also he has correctly assessed Blondie’s Divine Status or whatever it is that keeps him clear of disasters.) 

the way that Tuco jumps on the horse is just. pure sex appeal.

“sawed off runt” Blondie gets in 1 insult but it actually means something, as opposed to Tuco doing 10,000 for the sake of the audience

I see what you did there with putting “the good” on screen just after Blondie abandons Tuco to die horribly in  a desert. I see it.

yeah, I thought I remembered Tuco saving up all the really good insults for Spanish.

(now that I know that Eli’s from Brooklyn, I can’t *not* watch a performance of a deeply pissed off New Yorker who’s in this godsforsaken desert for the dosh but refuses to budge an inch on being a fast talking SOB. The rapid fire line deliveries for sure.)

had forgotten this bit about Angel slapping around a girl….

Aw, Tuco as soon as he finds water is A. drink some and B. play with it. awww you’re adorable Tuco

must go figure out what that thing Tuco wears on his hand is. also contemplate whether the 70s one wears braces.

yeah, like, “I got dumped so I’ll pull myself together and also drink this man’s crazy red liquor and take a hat cos I need a hat” that is peak Tuco right there.

no wait that wasn’t. What is is the exquisitely judged moment where he decides that the guy will probably want the liquor to drown his sorrows afterwards and leaves it.

I am very fond of the way that the war is presented as a disaster that is Happening but which none of the three leads give a __ about. The much maligned poster got that bang on the money.

everything looks so lived in, always, even though I assume they were building sets? Why can’t American westerns of the period look This Real, did they actually build houses or what

Blondie has vividly green eyes. Right then. Tuco’s are brown.

Tuco hires some backup to help him with Blondie. that’s…smart.

I think, actually, that Blodnie’s blue circle calico shirt is something he oughta wear in the 70s. It suits.

“your spurs” like a knight, ha. That’s a terrible gag, Blondie.

why is there so much blood on Tuco’s face. what was he doing to get banged up like that.

so he’s on a stool with a noose, with a gun pointed at him, and Blondie is still not acting like this is anything serious.

ohmigod I LOVE this bit with the cannon and the house collapsing. Hah. It seriously is like Blondie’s a force of nature though

Tuco tracks Blondie by favourite cigar stubs. Also smokes them after. Tempting to borrow that. (like they’re in bed together, Tuco steals his cigar, that kinda thing)

…is he. Is Tuco wearing flares in the 1860s. Yeah I think he is.

“I brought TWO guns” lol sure you did Tuco.

And Tuco winces when Shorty dies and is it like, two against one would make things too complex for him, or he’s mad that Blondie replaced him that fast, or what’s going on here that he let another man hang like that. Blondie doesn’t seem to mind much.

black horse = black car for Tuco.

Tuco mocking Blondie’s fair skin, like yeah there’s definitely a bit of a racial thing here.

“You’ll die. Very slowly, old friend.” also I have an umbrella ain’t it pretty

I think one of the reasons I glom on this film is because for all its length there is literally something happening every single minute. Like most films have dead time when I could, you know, breathe or something, but I haven’t stopped typing since I turned this on.

(the comedy sensibility there as well. You can’t have dead air when you’re writing comedy, things have to be leading somewhere. )

course at the moment the point is “look at this very big desert with two very small people in it”...here comes the whump. Clint sure knows how to lean into it.

sweet jesus Tuco with the sun behind you there you look like some kinda avenging 70s disco angel yourself. also the headband.

here comes the celestial music. here comes the cavalry. see, when Tuco gets into a mess he has to get out of it himself, but this is the second time that Divine Intervention has saved Blondie.

…gosh it’d be funny if that watch in the stagecoach was the Few Dollars More watch. I’m sure it ain’t.

Tuco’s not very good at interrogation. I’m sort of comforted by this, because it suggests he doesn’t do it very often.

when did Blondie get to the stagecoach. seriously when. (oh right it’s Leone. movement is a free action as long as it’s off camera)

that’s twice that Blondie’s called Tuco a rat though. what is about rats for Blondie.

maximum Clint hair fluff here. why do I have a thing for heroes with daft hair. tis daft.

I don’t think that New Mexico has goat skin waterbottles? Whereas they are all over the place in Spain. Hmm.

…okay, I have missed something. Why is Tuco wearing an eye patch now? Like, did he just look at Bill and say “that’s great I’m having that”. Anyway the way he forgets and shoves it up his face to look at the wall hanging is a hoot. (he keeps doing this like a kid playing pirates)

battle between “keeping on hat” and “oh I’m praying”- hat wins. Figures. 

Tuco still has a nasty cut on his face from before. Either this is very good continuity or Eli got hit by a brick during filming and it’s still healing. I honestly cannot tell.

Tuco genuinely doesn’t know nothing about Blondie’s past. Figures.

oh you *bastard* Tuco trying to exhort a deathbed confession. that’s probably his lowest moment in the whole movie actually- cos Blondie started it with the whole “let’s play who dumps who in the desert”

of course Blondie doesn’t fall for it. course he doesn’t. (I do wonder how much of this is Tuco wondering what Blondie will let him get away with.)

also there’s an implied passage of time during which Blondie thinks it’s hilarious to have Tuco fetch and carry for him. That tracks.

ohhhh and the Pablo scene like I have a lot of feels about this. mostly about the way that Tuco is genuinely happy to see Pablo and it all goes wrong, and I already write bits of this relationship into fics but aww…Pablo is genuinely disappointed. Tuco genuinely loves him.

(cannot tell whether Tuco shags a lot of girls or is angry with Pablo and wants him to think he shags a lot of girls. could go either way.)

BLONDIE WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS you creep

in which Tuco just straight-up makes up junk about his brother cos he has an audience. and Blondie goes along with it to the extent of giving him a cigar, and it’s- aw. actual partnership moment. for reals.

“god’s not on our side” yup, and maybe Blondie would have done something if he hadn’t been asleep? But I get the idea he’s happy to take cues from Tuco for improv. 

 Tuco’s “oh fuck” moment inf. relatable.

hello Angel. And our duo knows him, too.

…I, uh, honestly can’t figure out why Blondie thinks it’s a good move for Tuco to pretend to be Bill Carson. Like I honestly can’t see how they’d even think that was a thing to do unless they’d seen the movie up to this part. Like, Tuco and Blondie basically have to be plugged into the narrative to know to do anything here except keep their mouths shut and hope to get to Sad Hill at some point?

Angel Eyes is a practical bastard. Also a sergeant. heigh-ho.

these three definitely know each other and I can’t figure out how. What’s this friendship thing about? It is a mystery. (def Tuco and Angel have a past though. What kind?)

Also Tuco figures that Angel is gonna straight up poison him at first, so that couldn’t have been a wholly easy relationship.

…okay, I’ll have to have a scene where Tuco finally says “yes I think your being called Angel is a hoot”- it is, after all, Here.

Is it that Angel doesn’t like getting his hands dirty, or that it’s easier to fob off the trouble on somebody who does like it, or that he genuinely thinks that anyone less hefty than Wallace might not be able to shove around Tuco like this? mysteries.

I wonder what Blondie is thinking. The prison choir is the goddamn creepiest thing.

yeah, Blondie, you think you’re tough but I think you’d spill your guts out also if the alternative was gouging. That’s not Tuco being a coward, that’s just Angel Eyes treating the object of his crush/a stoic/the white guy better than Tuco. It’s not like there’s a Great Moral Principle at stake for Tuco not to talk or anything.

“We’re going for a ride” is like custom-built to be an Epic Catchphrase though.

…blood doesn’t puddle like that. Someone on production screwed up. (blood is always theatrical in this film. too red and technicolour.)

…where was I? Oh yes. Tuco’s now worth 3000 dollars and is proud of it.

And Wallace is enjoying hurting him. Wallace is exactly the type that Tuco doesn’t grok; hurt somebody because they hurt you, or because you’re mad at them, or they have something you want, but just for the sake of hurting, that I don’t think tracks for him.

(Tuco and Blondie’s scam sure has got around if Wallace knows it. I guess that could have been Angel who told him, but it’s…it’s more like this thing where everyone in the film knows things that were said on screen before? I’d have to do another watch to contemplate this, but the notion fascinates me.)

That “I can’t do it while you’re watching me” is almost cute. Like, obviously it’s a ploy to kill Wallace, but also, it’s cute.

Oh yes, the “we nearly killed Eli” scene”. Thank christ the man had a natural sense of self preservation.

Lots of people in this film wear sexy short cloaks. I love those. I want one of the trio to have on in the 70s, anachronistic or no- maybe Blondie? Dunno.

all three leads have a bit where they’re just spying on the other two. v. sexy.

I’d just like to note that as somebody who has infinite patience for wandering around deserted lonely locales, I love this desolation hotel scene.  

YES BATH SCENE, LOVE THE BATH SCENE

…dumping in all the nice bath salts cos he can. Completely undeterred by being a naked man in a bath facing a gun. continuing with the bath afterwards…

And also Blondie knows Tuco just by the gun. That’s not tracker smarts, that’s, um, divine inspiration.

kitten. Aw, you little kitten.

the way Blondie says “old friend” Angel Eyes actually suggests that it was Tuco who met Angel first.

“So that’s why you came to Tuco”. Yeah, I love mutually necessary relationships, and this one sure counts.

“I want that blond alive” yes we know Angel. We know.

“Were you gonna die alone” oh that IS shippy. 

sometimes Tuco crosses himself after a death, sometimes he doesn’t. there’s no apparent logic there.

the way that Blondie whistles and shoots a guy is max. cowboy aesthetic. also messed up.

Blondie seems cool with Tuco killing Angel. Okies.

(I guess he figures at this point that Angel will have to be waiting...)

I’d remembered the “it’s for you”. Had not remembered Tuco tearing up the paper after, but whatevers.

where does Tuco get all these hats. How? Does he just steal hats whenever he sees a new one?

Leone’s favourite trick of ‘things off camera don’t exist” is amazing. really it is. A whole army camp…

and really, this is all extra, they could just go ahead and have the cemetery duel now, but that’s not really the point.

Actually, Blondie does seem perfectly content to let Tuco do most of the talking when it needs to be done.

That whole bit with the liquor swigging- goes along with my notions of Blondie not actually being a very heavy drinker, Tuco being more enthusiastic. also I do like Tuco’s genuine “really?!” upon being told he could make colonel, like this is the first time somebody’s told him he could be something other than a priest or a bandit, and maybe he would have gone for it if he wasn’t hip deep into the 200,000 thing.

And the mutual Blondie/Tuco “this guy’s insane” looks they swap when the captain’s not looking at them, tis fab.

it’s so weird that nobody in this camp is talking…until they start yelling.

Tuco’s notion of avoiding getting killed by cannon fire is to hide as far out of frame as he can. Given how Leone framing works, this is maybe not so dumb.

it takes the entire civil war for Blondie to render a moral judgement, i. e. war is bad. I feel like he’s obscurely irritated that circumstances have forced him to profess an opinion about something.

Hang on, didn’t Blondie learn the name of the cemetery from Angel Eyes earlier? Does he actually need Tuco at this point?

Blondie next to a big case that says “explosives” is…uh, very Bugs Bunny.

…oh, yeah, it does help having a partner to blow up the bridge. Right.

it is genuinely fun, though, watching these two work as partners. They’re very practical when they want to be.

Tuco taking several minutes to gulp his way into telling Blondie his half of the secret is…interesting. Trusting. And I suspect probably saves his life later. Cos Tuco’s right and blowing up this bridge is dangerous and one of them could easily die…and he is, for once, actually doing his best to do right by his partner in a completely stupid and insane world.

lighting your cigar on the explosives is also very Bugs Bunny.

Blondie, just cos Tuco went to sleep with his arse in easy kicking position doesn’t mean you have to kick it. Also I wonder what Tuco’s whimpering there.

and the young soldier scene. I have notions about the utility of Useless But Kind Gestures that I’ve been ranting about in various 1984 postings for a while, and Blondie gets one here. Oughta contemplate that at length later.

oh look it’s the cemetery. Tuco throws away his map.

…and three minutes go clean out of my head, as they do, because the simple fact is that even with the grave name this is a ridiculous task - how do you find one grave in all five thousand? and Leone is covering for it with a mystical quasi-religious invocation to get Tuco to where we need him to be. Thing is, it works on me. Can’t talk sensibly about the Ecstasy, there is is.

The framing of Angel Eyes coming in is epic, I gotta say. First person. Have we had any first person all film?

…but Blondie, why were you having Tuco dig up Arch Stanton’s grave when it’s the wrong grave, unless you knew Angel was coming? He knows Angel’s coming is all I can think of.

also I think we’re being asked to assume that Blondie took Tuco’s gun while Tuco was asleep with his arse in the air, unloaded it, then put it back, and then kicked him awake. dang if that isn’t a sequence I would have enjoyed Leone committing to celluloid.

okay, so. Three-way.

Tuco’s thinking “if one of these people is gonna shoot me, it’s probably gonna be Angel. So I’ll shoot Angel, and Blondie probably shoots Angel too, and then we see where we are. if they both shoot me I’m dead anyway.”.

Angel Eyes, I bet, is just figuring he should get off a shot at the better shooter first, and he figures that’s Blondie.

Blondie knows who has a weapon, so he just has to spin this out and make it look good for Angel Eyes. Easy. I wonder what he would have done if it wasn’t, though?

(we aren’t ever gonna know are we)

I can’t tell who Angel Eyes is trying to shoot with his last shot. I assume it’s Blondie, but the framing makes it hard to tell?

Tuco, you hafta bring all that money back to civilisation, wrecking the bags doesn’t help there.

Ah yes. The noose. Where did Blondie even get a noose? Is it worthwhile asking the question?

I spent a long time the first time I watched this, genuinely wondering if Tuco was gonna get killed. (I didn’t want Blondie to kill him.) And I was genuinely unsure…until I realised that we were setting it up just like old times, and Blondie was gonna have to shoot him free because he always *had* shot him free, and was always going to, and it was a oroubous of a movie. Which is all the more so in the day of easy DVD rewatching.

which is not to say I didn’t quiver when Blondie levels the gun.

anyway after all he’s been through, I think Tuco’s entitled to shout that last line.

whew!

and some followups for the notes 

...yeah, it definitely makes more sense for Angel Eyes to be an old acquaintance of Tuco’s (unless you’re writing a fic where Blondie is a Weird Force of Nature and trying to reconcile two different people’s connection to him is a driving force of the plot, but I’ll remember this for the Animal Magnetism sequel).

I guess that Tuco is definitely pretending to be Bill Carson, but why? How does that help them? (I assume Blondie doesn’t see the whole torture-by-Angel Eyes coming...)

Yeah, I can see Angel Eyes as someone who’s perfected his gunslinger because his hand-to-hand isn’t so hot. Tuco’s the one who’d probably win in a straight bar brawl, but unfortunately for him that’s not the movie he’s in. 

[flyingcatstiel]

1. Hello again, I am the same anon who sent both of your latest two anonasks. I think there was some confusion so I'll clarify. I don't even ship stony(I've only read handfuls of fics), I ship destiel and I like all mcu characters equally and I am not team cap nor iron but I am a bitter cas girl. There was NO intention to bring any wank or ships/characters bashing to your blog. I was just so angry with 'we are' and your answer to the first ask got me thinking about stony.

2. But my ask was poorly and inadequately worded to confuse you of the ulterior intention and I apologize. Though I shouldn’t have use the ship names when I meant their general relationship both in canon and fanon, what I meant was in regard to the same situation, which is their mother’s deaths, Tony actually drew blood and all Dean did was say some words,

3. so one might think that actual physical conflicts not induced by any supernatural event indicate bad relationship but I feel Dean and Cas’s friendship and general relationship more unhealthy and unbalanced.

4. Now I just decided for my self that that’s probably because Tony and Steve has different visions, families, groups of friends and support system so even if there is conflict between them, Tony still got Pepper Rhodey and Happy and Steve got Bucky Nat and Sam.

5. So no one is left alone in the world. But if Dean’s angry with Cas, Cas is alone in the universe. I meant unhealthy like that. Cas has no one except Winchester families and if that makes Cas desperate for sense of belong and makes him apologize like that, that imao is unhealthy. But all in all, I am sorry for the confusion. I shouldn’t have been so blunt and out of the blue. Post 1502 made me go blind with unreasonable fury.

6. On a different note it’s interesting how wording and context make differences between being perceived as wank baiting anon hate or anon thanks. And I hope that this message is accepted as the latter because I am always grateful of all your reasonable words about Spn and fandom fruits. :) thanks for reading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heey, sorry for total misunderstanding with the previous ask and thank you for coming back and clarifying it! And yes, I’m kinda jumpy lately, since couple of my spn critical posts were hijacked by destiel haters and also earned me the blocking from destiel positivity crowd. That’s the fandom we have and that is one huge reason why I’m slowly sauntering into MCU fandom. To be brutally honest, that’s my advice to all bitter Cas girls - get out before you get too frustrated and hurt. The show will continue Cas whump because they don’t know what else to do, and destiel metas will spend all their energy justifying it. Instead of, you know, just saying that bad writing is bad writing. You can always come and vent in my inbox or via DM tho, I’ll try to answer as much as I can, because I feel you. 

OK, very quickly about CW movie and Tony’s anger vs Dean’s anger. I don’t think Tony’s situation is comparable at all here. Tony learns about Bucky killing his parents on Hydra’s orders after a long chain of very intense conflicts. That was literally the last drop, there’s little time to process it, and it is the culmination of the movie. On the other side, Dean and Cas conflict is never the centerpiece of SPN, it’s all subtext and Dean’s POV. Dean blaming Cas for Mary’s accidental death comes absolutely out of nowhere. They all knew that Jack is using his soul to do stuff, they all knew Jack needs supervision. FFS, Jack just brought Sam back from dead by using his soul. And now Cas is to blame for it? Not to mention that Dean and Cas relationship is way more complicated than MCU stony. Even if we take out romantic destiel subtext out of it, textually, Cas still is the closest person to Dean after Sam. Dean has called Cas his family, his brother several times. Dean grieved Cas in s13. And now, suddenly, it all means nothing because Dean is angry? Unpopular opinion about SPN writers under the cut.

I said it already back then and I still stand by my words - Berens wrote the line “You are dead to me” deliberately to yank the fandom. There are plenty of other words he could have used if he simply wanted to show Dean’s grief and uncontrollable anger towards Cas. Instead, SPN focused on one thing that would hurt the most and then used it in the promo. I literally saw post on my dash saying that OP was not gonna watch the episode because SPN is just meh, but, after seeing that promo, OP wanted to know why Dean said something so hideous to Cas. Remember how fans hoped that it’s a misleading promo? Remember how fans hoped that Dean will apologize to Cas? There’s an understanding that that line was too much. And, after s14 finale, I saw posts talking about how this is not relevant anymore because surely Jack’s death and Chuck’s machinations override whatever anger Dean could have towards Cas for not telling him about snake. And then 15x01 brought us that passive aggressive scene and, well, 15x02 took the cake. 

So, while I totally agree with you that the scene between Dean and Cas was terrible, my way of dealing with it is to blame SPN writers. First of all, I don’t understand what Dean is talking about there. Nothing was real? Does he mean some kind of Matrix type of reality where the real Dean is sleeping in a pod? Otherwise, it was all real. Tell Kevin Tran that his death and time after death was not real. Tell it to Jo, Charlie, Eileen that their deaths were not real. Cas speech is nice, but, honestly, not a groundbreaking revelation. Whedon’s Angel said it wittier, Dumbledore and Gandalf said it more fitting for their stories. There’s a Jewish proverb with similar sentiment. Like, this is nothing new! Our choices matter, sometimes it is the only thing that matters. I mean, everyone who has lived under authoritarian regimes, everyone who’s a minority and has to deal with privileged majority, knows this. To make Dean to refuse it in s15, is honestly very baffling. 

Like, I see that SPN writers want to draw some parallels with s4 by flipping Dean and Cas beliefs, but, scene subversion works only if you know why the first scene worked in the first place. I think this scene would have worked better if Dean would be just venting his understandable frustration with the situation. But instead, we got Cas apologizing, Dean still blaming Cas for Mary’s death (seriously wtf?) and then Dean walking out on Cas and refusing Cas’ belief in their choices being real. 

And here I come to my last point. Dean saying that their choices were not real because Chuck manipulated everything sounds very much like privileged middle class white people suddenly realizing that they are not calling the shots and then throwing into a towel. This really looks like the most “profound” revelation Bucklemming could’ve come up with. They gave similar moronic lines to Cas in 9x03, when Cas, former angel who watched humanity for thousand of years, was surprised that poor people are kind and generous. 

So, to me it looks like SPN writers are trying to be deep but in the end they write what they know best - angry white man is always right trope and le omg, if I’m not the center of the universe then everything was not real story. Which sucks, tbh. And clashes with older seasons of SPN. But here we are. And, since the conflict between Dean and Cas is based on such a weak argument, there can’t be real resolution, catharsis and growth. The current conflict serves only one purpose - to keep Cas and Dean on bad terms and to make Cas leave (because Misha’s contract something something). My worst fear - this stupid conflict will set Cas on self destructive/sacrificial path, and that will be it. Because let’s be serious, destiel is not the most important thing in s15. It’s just not.