#I would be on the edge of my seat wondering what shenanigans he got up to this time

[oakshotrow]

I think my favourite part of season 2 of tma is every time Jon would be like "Supplemental. Everything is going into even deeper shit"

[livelaughloveluffy]

imagine luffy confessing his admiration and love for you after seeing each other after 2 years, before being separated the two of you were becoming more intimate with each other and seeking one another out during downtimes cuddling, holding hands, or just wanting the comfort of one another

confession - monkey d. luffy

a/n: thank you for the ask!!! it literally came at the perfect time!! i was planning on writing a confession series with the boys and i love your addition to the prompt!! since you specifically said two years, i think you know exactly where i'm going with this, so luffy's confession will take place post-time skip!! these will definitely be longer fics, but know that there will definitely be similar fics in the future!

a/n: i did proof-read, however it was more like proof-skimmed if im being honest

enies lobby // paramount war spoilers under the cut!!!

ngl, there's a little bit hurt here... but there is also plenty of comfort and fluff to make up for it 😭💀

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the first thing you learned about your captain was that he has zero concept of personal space. this wasn't something that particularly bothered you.. however it was definitely an adjustment from what you were used to.

as one of first few members to join the straw hat pirates, you and luffy had lots of time with just the two of you, giving you more than your fair share of opportunities to get to know each other. the captain really enjoyed your presence, as you seemed to just get him. it was one of the many reasons he asked you to join his crew in the first place. but in actuality, he was always drawn to you from the second he first saw you.

something about the way you carried yourself, so elegantly but so sure of yourself, even in combat you were a wonder to his eyes. when he finally got a chance to talk to you, he suddenly just had this overwhelming feeling that he couldn't imagine a life without you in it.

many days and night on the going merry were spent making sharing jokes and obnoxiously laughing at them, sneaking way too many snacks from the kitchen until sanji caught you both, and tons of crazy and fun adventures were shared together.

the countless times luffy would run up to you with a huge smile on his face, grabbing your hand in his, exclaiming "you have to see this!! come on!!" before he would whisk you away to some small silly shenanigan of his was a frequent occurrence, but one that you had become to enjoy dearly.

the second his fingers interlocked around yours, everything just felt better, even for just a second. and you could've sworn he felt it too. he'd smile just a bit wider, laugh a bit louder, and pull you a little bit closer.

•♡•

it wasn't until the shock of losing robin and breaking into enies lobby to rescue her that had finally bonded you two even closer than you already were. watching luffy being unable to move after defeating rob lucci had to be one to the scariest moments of your life.

it wasn't until the whole crew was back together on a new ship ready to conquer your next adventure, that you finally got some alone time with luffy. you and chopper had to beg him to rest and recover from his injuries. but he only agreed to do so if you kept him company.

"lu, are you awake?" you whispered, walking into the dark shared boys room, finding luffy laying down on his cot. "chopper said it's time to take your meds, so i brought them for you."

a tired and groggy luffy rolled over to greet you, taking a seat at the edge of his cot, you smoothed down his crazy bed-head before handing him is meds. "do i have to take them?" he pleaded, eyes wide in hopes he could make you pity him enough to say no. "i'll get sanji to make you an extra dessert if you do" with that being said, he took his meds without any more hesitation or fussing.

you began standing up from his cot, ready to sweet-talk your way to a special dessert made my sanji (he didn't need to know who it was really for anyways), when luffy grabbed your hand stopping you in your tracks. "where are you going? i thought you'd stay here with me?"

"i was just going to get sanji to start on-" but before you could finish your sentence, your captain pulled you into his arms and cot. "i don't want you to leave yet.." he said, whining with his face buried in the crook of your neck "stay for a little bit longer.."

who were you to disobey the captain's orders?

•♡•

cuddling with your captain was truly a special event. it wasn't nearly as common as you had hoped, since luffy often refuses to sit still long enough for it to happen.

warm rubber limbs wrapped two times too many around your body, his soft dark brown hair tickling your cheek as he buried his face in your neck and shoulder. luffy smelled like the ocean breeze, sweat, and sunshine (which sounds crazy, but if sunshine had a smell, it would smell like luffy), a scent that you had grown so extremely comforted by, it felt like a warm hug, or just getting home after a long day.

"lu, don't you want me to get your dessert?" you whispered. his soft tired voice only had enough energy to mumble out a soft "later.." before he drifted off to sleep.

and just for tonight, you would stay. soaking up this opportunity and holding onto it for dear life.

•♡•

when your crew had initially stopped at sabaody, you truly thought you were in for a fun time. yes, you always expected a little hitch in the plans, that's just natural considering your captain, but nothing could prepare you for what was to come.

•♡•

as per usual, you're running for your lives from government officials, and countless other enemies, this time the stakes higher than they had ever been before, with crew members disappearing right in front of your eyes. before you knew it, it was just you and luffy left. tears welling in your eyes as luffy lets out an ear-shattering scream for you to just run.

you swear you didn't even see bartholomew kuma in front of you, but the next thing you knew you were shooting through the sky, heading god knows where, separated from your crew and your beloved captain.

•♡•

the island you ended up at was less than ideal. between fighting for your life daily, attempting to find some sort of civilization, and being separated from the people you loved the most in the world, you really couldn't imagine anything worse.

that wasn't until the day you finally found a town, hordes of people were crowding a newspaper stand, after making your way through the crowd, and grabbing a paper to see what all the fuss was about, did your heart finally break into two.

the headline read: portgas d. ace - died in action during paramount war

your eyes began to overflow with tears, just imagining the amount of pain luffy was in, and you could do absolutely nothing to help. you momentarily lost yourself in the grief of it all, the man you loved, separated from the people he loved and trusted the most, witnessing the death of his brother right in front of his eyes, all alone.

and the shock didn't end there. when a couple days later, a pit of dread inside your stomach when you heard the same crowds out again huddled around the newspaper stand, only to find your captain on the cover.

at first, knowing he was safe and somewhat okay made you drop to your knees with relief that you almost overlooked the drawing on his arm: 3D2Y

•♡•

the only thing that got you through those 2 years always from luffy and the crew was keeping extremely busy. if you weren't constantly training in combat, practicing new techniques with your devil fruit, reading anything and everything under the sun from history to medicine to stupid trashy romance novels, learning new languages, and a thousand other skills. you hardly had time for sleep, let alone time to think, because if for a second you stopped, you would fall apart.

•♡•

it was by sheer luck you managed to avoid the hassle that caribou and his crew had caused, turns out you made the right call to just stay aboard the sunny.

the second your eyes met luffy and his feet touched the deck, his arms were already wrapped around you so tight that you forgot how to breathe for a second. after 2 years of holding back your tears, this one hug is what finally made you come undone. you buried your face into the crook of your captain's neck, and he placed his hand on top of your head, stroking your hair as you sobbed. "i missed you too, so much more than you know." he whispered as he held you, this time he'd never let you go again.

•♡•

the voyage to fishman island proved to be the best time for the crew to finally relax and get to enjoy in each other's presence for the first time in years, truly a great reason for an over-the-top banquet on its own. and boy, what a banquet it was.

•♡•

you had deeply missed girl talk with robin and nami, all three of you sharing stories from your time apart, when a hand suddenly slipped into yours. you turn your head to the bright wide hazel eyes of your captain "um.. there's something i want to tell you...in private.." he said, with this adorable little lopsided smile with a hint of blush spreading across his cheeks that you had never seen before, but committed to memory the second you did. the girls smiled at you, gesturing it was okay to step away and you could catch up later.

he whisked you away to his favorite spot, the top of the hull, in a painful amount of silence. your mind suddenly overwhelmed conjuring up the millions of things he could possible say to you. after helping you get atop the lion's head of the thousand sunny, with luffy standing in front of you, he placed his hands hips lifting you up and letting you wrap your legs around his waist before he gently sat down, and then your mind just stopped.

the familiar warmth of luffy's chest pressed against yours, arms around your back, and cheek pressed up against yours with his chin resting on your shoulder. oh, how you had missed this.

turning your face ever so slightly to look at his, did you finally meet his eyes. with a small smile, he looked at you and with a small giggle and a tiny voice he said "hi". you couldn't help but let your heart melt right there as you shyly smiled back and returned the greeting.

with your eyes still on his, you couldn't help but ask "lu, what did you want to talk to me about?" the curiosity and suspense was starting to make you want to crawl out of your skin.

"oh! right!! i wanted to tell you that i love you!" he cheerly replied, so casual that you questioned if you had misheard him.

you couldn't help yourself but to ask for clarification "wait, what did you just say luffy?"

and with his usual luffy smile, he loudly and proudly repeated the words you thought you misheard "i said i love you!!"

for a second, your heart stopped. "you love me? lu, are you su-"

but before you could begin to question him, he put a hand on the side of your face and pulled you in for a small kiss. once his lips finally left yours, you looked at him with wide eyes and bright red cheeks, searching for an explanation.

he softly began to explain "i couldn't wait to tell you any longer... after these past two years.. i just... i want you to know that i love you."

your eyes turned glassy, and with your captain's wide waiting eyes, you couldn't stop yourself as the words "i love you too, lu." poured out of your mouth. pulling your captain as close as you could to you, you held him knowing this time you'd never have to let him go.

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a/n: ahhhhhhhhh, i live and die for calling luffy "lu", its truly my favorite pet name in the world for him 😭😭😭 hopefully i was able to do your ask some justice!!

a/n: i just checked my activity center on tumblr and !!!! omg thank you so much for 100 followers!! the amount of love and support i've been receiving on my fics genuinely means the world to me!! so if you're new, or just now finding my blog, thank you for being here!!!

a/n: enjoyed this fic? you can find my masterlist here!!

[bitter-me]

Hello. I was wondering if you could make a platonic Honkai Star Rail story with the reader being Sunday's child and but they ended up living with their mother because Sunday and the readers mother got a divorce when the reader was very young. it takes awhile but a few years but the reader returned to Penacony with their mother for a visit. (I was kind of inspired by Charlie and Lucifer's relationship from hazbin hotel) (But if you're uncomfortable with writing this that's completely alright and I wish you a good morning, afternoon or goodnight😊)

Like Father Like Son

Sunday | M. Reader as his child (Platonic)

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"You can't stop DNA.."

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Penacony. Planet of Festivities.

Or rather..

His birthplace.

The place he never would have thought he'll visit.

He was young, yes, but the memory still sear into his brain like a stain on a white shirt. The fighting, the yelling. Everything.

To think he'll be going back to the place where these memories took place...

It left him on edge.

Sure there are some good memories. The laughter, the joy, the perpetual smiles.

He remembered how he would enter his father's office and saw him hard at work, those countless paperwork on his desk and that stern expression that softened once his eyes locked onto him. His precious son. His little angel.

Tales.. about his lofty dreams..

He would listen to it breathlessly.

A kind man with ambition. That was the type of man his father is. Although..

Through some other things.. that image began to stain. Leaving behind holes and stains on a picture perfect family.

.

.

.

Dewlight Pavilion. A place with insane security, even when it's "family" that's visiting. Paranoid much? But nonetheless, the place is exactly as he once remembered it was. Filled with puzzles and other security mechanisms. Why did he decide to go here again? To visit his father? Why is he doing this while his mother is busy lounging around at Golden Hour?

No matter.

It doesn't matter.

None of it matters.

After gently knocking at the door, he opened it and was greeted by a specious office and the man himself. His wings can't help but flutter at the sight of his father. After all these years...

"Long time no see.. father.."

"Ah, you finally arrived, [Name]. How was the ride?"

"It was nice, the driver was also very welcoming."

Getting up from his seat, Sunday approached his son, standing in front of him. He can't help but smile at the sight. "You've grown. Last I saw you, you barely even reached my waist."

[Name] laughed at his father's remark. "Ha ha! Oh but I was just a toddler back then."

They're very alike.

Both donning a perpetual smile, their auras are warm and welcoming, their clothing is equally fancy and well tailored.

They're more alike than they originally thought.

----------

As days passed by, their little family reunion went smoothly, no bumps on the road. As it should have been. Sometimes [Name] can't help but wonder if this is the life he'll live if only his parents didn't get a divorce. It's nice, it's warm. He feels.. complete..

A happy family at last.

----------

He doesn't like it.

He doesn't like him.

Not one bit.

He doesn't like the fact that this.. guest..

The mess, these shenanigans, the tricks they're pulling. Whatever this guest is doing, he doesn't like it.

How could he? When this wretch is plotting everything!? Who knows what goes through their head?! What if they try to do something to his now happy family?! What if they try to do something to Penacony?!

He can't have that! He won't allow it!

Not after "Death" had picked its prey.

After losing someone to that "thing" [Name] isn't too keen on letting something else go out of control.

As the son of the Family's Head. [Name] has rights to pretty much everything and the thought of this guest causing more harm doesn't sit right with him.

"Nice office."

"Thank you."

An invite from the one and only [Name], son of the Head of the Family. That's something no one in their right mind could refuse. How could they? It's him after all! The second most influential person in Penacony, second to his father.

The two casually walked through the office, while the guest is busy admiring the specious and luxurious office, [Name] had stopped in front of the giant aquarium in the office. One he had requested upon the construction of his very own office in the Dewlight Pavilion.

The light of the aquarium gently illuminates the room, giving it a nice blue glow. The fishes swim through the waters, unbothered and calm. They're safe after all. No predators are there to harm them. An aquarium is the most safest place for these creatures.

The guest soon noticed [Name]'s interest in the aquarium as they soon joined him at watching the fishes swim freely from one end to the other.

"I like aquariums. They're nice, you can put as many creatures as you want and decorate it as you wish..." [Name] spoke up, breaking the silence between them. "I can see that, the tank is pretty big and you have lots of different fishes here too." The guest replies, making a simple observation before turning their head towards the winged man.

"But that's not why you summoned me, right?"

"Now what makes you say that? What if I wanted to make you my friend?"

They went silent after hearing those words came from the other's mouth. [Name] chuckles at the reaction, putting his hands behind his back, he asked. "What is Penacony to you?"

"Penacony..? It's.. a nice place.. it's like a paradise.. a home. What about you? What's Penacony to you?"

His gentle smile seems to widen at the question that's been thrown back at him, his gaze never leaving the aquarium, he answered. "I'm so glad you found a home here... A flower garden isolated by the rules of the world."

"The only absolute law is simply to live and not cause any harm, everyone must live in harmony here..."

"I adore it."

"It's like an aquarium, a unique world of my own creation."

.

.

.

.

.

The first thing he thought of when he saw such.. disharmony.. is..

"A serpent had made its way to my Garden of Eden."

Penacony.. Planet of Festivities..

That's what it's known for.. but to [Name]..?

It's an aquarium. A unique world of his own creation. His Garden of Eden.

How dare they.. how dare this guest do such a thing and ruin the harmony inside this paradise of his?! His own creation.. it has to be a perfect place. How dare this guest cause such a thing! The Family already has that Memory Meme on their plate, they don't need another one!

This serpent that had entered his Garden of Eden.. how dare they try to tempt the people with the forbidden fruit..

No matter.

It doesn't matter.

Not at all.

.

.

.

.

.

"Oh, Triple-Faced Soul, please sear his tongue and palm with a hot iron, so he will not be able to fabricate lies and make false vows."

They're very alike.

Both donning a perpetual smile, their auras are warm and welcoming, their clothing is equally fancy and well tailored.

That same smile that hides their schemes.

That aura that left people feeling on edge.

That unsettling chill that runs down on people's spine the moment they gave them a certain look.

Those wings and halo that makes them look ethereal yet mysterious.

They're more alike than they originally thought.

And "control" is their middle name.

.

.

Like father like son, no?

----------

Should I make a part two of this? If so, who will be the "guest" ? You guys have any ideas in mind?

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[zarrella-hisone-and-only]

heyyy, I hope you’ve had a nice day I was wondering if I could request ushijima, bokuto and sakusa with a fem tease sitting on their lap for a bumpy car ride and they get ‘excited’ down there 😏 it’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable with writing this! <33

Don't worry lovie I'll do my best to delivery!! Hopefully you enjoy it! Sorry if this took a decade, I ran into some writer blockages along the way heh! 😫

Bumpy Car Rides

Summary: How would the Haikyuu boys react to their dear lover sitting on their whilst on this bumpy ride?

Warnings: Characters are aged up, dirty talk, mentions of sex, teasing. Not Proof read!!! New writer!!

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It had been almost a decade since you and Ushijima had a fun day out. It was always him having to leave early in the mornings and coming home after you finished dinner. But this time you ahd somethign fun planned. It was autum and it had almost seemed like fate, a hay bale ride!

You smile hugging onto your muscular boyfriend's arm in pure joy. He sat down beside you far in the back of the cart. The guide moved and paid their attention to the younger children in the back, but you had other plans. Why bring your perfect boyfriend to this boring childish ride, maybe it was time to spicy it up a bit!

The hay bale ride was a hour and a half long. So you had loads of time to make this more fun for both you and your lover. You leaned closer to Ushijima's ear and whispered softly, practically breathing on him.

"Ushiii.. My seat is so rough, can I sit on your lap? Pleaaase.."

His eyes widened as he looks at you in utter confusion, were you really asking to sit on his lap?

"Wha-" You interrupted him by lifting your body up, just high enough to snuggle your bum comfortably on his thighs. His face was merely inches away from you, this cart was filled with children, adults, and old people.

You placed a small peck on the bridge of his nose, giving him a sweet and innocent smile.

"Y/n-" You cut him off again.

"Look babe, seems like it's about to get bumpy.." You wiggle in your seat atop of him, causing some friction underneath you. He raised his hand to cover his face, he lowly groans and sighs.

"Babe, I don't think this is the right time for-"

The cart bumps and you rub against him adjusting yourself again. It wasn't long till you felt something poking and prodding at your butt. A sly smirk plastered your face as you kept calm, continuing you effortless tortures. He places his hands on your waist tightening his grip.

If this wasn't bad enough for him, you managed to lean back and rub yourself against whilst letting out a small lewd noise for only him to hear.

Long story short, your little shenanigans put you in a bad position when you both arrived home.

•·················•·················••·················•·················••·················•·················••·············•

The bus was full and compacted. And well, there was only one free seat near the back. You grasped your boyfriends arm and pulled him through the crowds on people. Bokuto sat down and you wiggled yourself into his lap.

"Uh, b-baby owl!" He exclaimed a bit embarrassed at your small yet impactful movements.

You turned back to place a sweet kiss on his lips, licking his bottom lip before leaving the kiss. His face was flushed a bright red as he gripped the seat's edge in frustration.

Fortunately for you the bus ride has seemed to hit a few bumps along the way. This caused you body to fly and then hit back down on his little friend. Bokuto gritted his teeth holding back a groan every time you landed back down effortlessly perfectly square on his sweet spot.

You looked back at him and raised a brow. "What's wrong baby?" You tease asking so innocently. He had a mind to rip you to shreds when he got home, because his little friend decided to wake up and greet you.

"Baby owl, I'm not sure you want to play this game your trying..." He groans lowly in your ear. And well, I guess it turned you on a bit.

"What ever do you mean my love?"

"I'm not sure why your acting so innocent babe, you know damn well what your doing... And you'll regret it when we get home.."

You ignore his mindless and ballsy threats and notice that you have seemed to hit a mine bomb. "What a nice surprise.." You whispered feeling his member poking at you.

He huffed as the bus stopped and grabbed your hand taking you off the bus as fast as you could. And according to his promise, he sure did rip you apart the second the front door was closed.

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Sakusa wasn't one to go on public transports all the time, but this was the same cute trolley you would see everyday. After thousands of 'pleaase Omi' s and 'I'll literally die if I don't get to go on' , he finally gave in. You led him through the bundles of screaming children and messy toddlers to the back of the ride. There were two seats you you sat on the inside.

The trolley continued on its course and you were sure to watch the guide and make sure she wasn't looking at your boyfriend. You caught her catching another glance at him and you frown.

You lean over to Sakusa and whisper in his ear. "Omi, my seat is so dirty and close that nasty toddler in front of me.. Can I sit on your lap pretty please?" You whispered in the soft and sincere tone that he loved.

He shakes his head but you completely ignore it in jealousy. You slip yourself onto his comfortable lap and grab the hand that were near his side and wrap them around your waist. He stifles his breath and looks at you a shocked reaction. He was lucky that he had his mask on at all times because your boisterous action were sure to make his cheeks as red as tomatoes.

The trolley trudges onwards and hits a few bumps on the way. Between bumps you rub yourself gently across his groin, he lets out a breathy groan and bites his lip in frustration.

The guide glances at you wild actions whilst sitting on Sakusa's lap. She turns away now feeling silly that she was even thinking about making a move on him.

Meanwhile you kept doing your silly little antics causing your boyfriend unbearable pain. It wasn't long until you felt his anticipation peak. You leaned you back against his chiseled chest.

"Awh, are you excited for the next bump omi babe?" You whispered smiling in your words.

"Oh, you really want to play this dirty game again hm?" He quietly snaps back at you.

"Feisty huh?" You rub yourself against him again. He hisses and catches his breath, not able to say another word.

Long story short he had you in the shower bend over and screaming his name. He managed to wash away your dirty actions and reprimand you for acting like a jealous and territorial brat.

[cupcakemolotov]

Ex's and Oh's

I have finally finished a thing, but honestly, with the 2023 has shaped up, this is a triumph! Happy Holidays, all.

Summary: Caroline's return to New Orleans is a little less triumphant than she'd like. There is a dead body in her trunk and a magical artifact in her passenger seat, and no matter how much she'd like too, the chances of avoiding her ex-husband are astronomically small. What, with the mate bond and all, but a girl's gotta hope.

Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known; Minor Character Death; Magical Realism; We Make War Not Love; Post-Divorce; These Two Fools in Love; Klaus and Caroline Being Territorial; for each other; tyler is dead; kind of; Canon-Typical Violence; Violence; Murder

-

“You aren’t supposed to be here.”

“I know.”

Bonnie rubbed a hand down her face after she handed Caroline a cup of coffee, her expression exasperated. “Do you?”

Caroline bit down on a tired smile. “Bonnie.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” she huffed, her eyes narrowing. “Enzo and I won’t be able to hide this. You know he has my place watched. He knows we talk. He knows I used to visit you, on occasion. He let it slide, because to do anything else would just piss you off more.” She sat and sighed. “This he will not let slide.”

Caroline shrugged, reaching carefully for the cream. Her ribs tugged uncomfortably at the motion, and she was careful to hide it. She needed caffeine too badly to let her friend be distracted. It’d just been her and multiple five hour energies over the past twenty hours, and there were things that needed to be said. “He’ll get over it.”

A choked noise escaped from her oldest friend, her expression pinched. It was still early in New Orleans, dawn not having quite creeped over the edge of the horizon. Her walk from her parked car had been quiet, the city slow and sleepy in the early morning hours, only the most adventurous of tourists staggering home. Bonnie had clearly rolled out of bed when Caroline had woken her, her clothing rumbled and mismatched. She’d have felt bad about just showing up after so long, if the circumstances hadn’t been an emergency.

“Caroline, Klaus does not ‘get over things,’ particularly when they involve you.”

“It's been just over ten years since the divorce, Bon.” Three years, fifty-one days since she had last talked to him. Since she had been in the same state as him. If she thought about it too long, her chest would start to ache with the weight of it. She had just never been able to decide if it was grief or rage that she carried like a cloak.

“Oh, I’m aware,” she said flatly. “The entire bayou is aware, Caroline.”

A pause, as Caroline scrunched her nose. “I didn’t think the divorce would still be hot gossip. A decade is more than long enough for people to stop wagging their tongues.”

Bonnie let out a groan. “If you think the kind of gossip your divorce from Klaus Mikaelson inspired is going to die down this century, you’ve forgotten how insular this place can be.”

“Kol lives here.” Caroline shrugged, winced. “He has a new antic every week. They can’t be bored of things to talk about.”

A peculiar look crossed Bonnie’s face. “Would you like to know what the last bit of nonsense Kol got into?” She didn’t wait for a reply. “He threw a block party.”

Caroline blinked. “That’s… not unusual for Kol. I can think of at least three block parties he threw in the last year that I lived here.”

Bonnie made a noise. “I don’t think you're really appreciating the scale of this party. It spilled across six streets. He brought in margarita trucks. Two live bands. Cops were called, SWAT intervened after the second fireball, dozens of wolves ended up in jail overnight, and it took a week for Elijah to untangle the legal shenanigans.” She arched her brow. “A week. Even the post-Esther shindig didn’t explode through the city quite that way.”

And neither of them had mentioned a word of this to her. She wondered if Enzo had a video. “Where was Klaus?”

“Business trip.” Bonnie said succinctly. “He showed up an hour after the SWAT team had been brought in to deal with the drunk witches. Do you know what Kol was celebrating?”

Caroline shook her head.

“Your divorce.”

The noise that caught in Caroline’s throat was strangled, torn somewhere between a laugh and a shriek. Bonnie’s expression darkened into that of a martyr before a judge.

“There was a banner, Caroline. Kol hung it across the front of the mansion, right above the entrance, and he had someone set up two spotlights to make sure it was visible. I have no idea who made the banner, but it had to be someone out of state, because supposedly no one died. Would you like to guess what it said?”

Caroline opened and closed her mouth, but couldn’t quite find the words. What exactly would Kol have put up to celebrate her divorce?

“No?” Bonnie crossed her arms. “Too bad. It read, “Congratulations to Caroline Forbes, Ten Years and Counting.”

It was a physical strain, not to laugh at Bonnie’s unimpressed look. Her ex-husband had enough pride to keep the Titanic afloat, having their disaster of a marriage waved in his face had to have made him apocalyptic with anger.

Bonnie nodded at her expression. “Elijah had to smuggle Kol to Eastern Europe. He’s still there.”

Struggling with her composure, when she finally spoke, Caroline managed to mostly sound normal. “Kol can occasionally be likable, can’t he?”

“You would find it hilarious.” Bonnie made a face. “Enzo certainly did. But it’s made my life unnecessarily complicated. Rebekah is refusing to talk to Klaus until he brings Kol back, and Klaus threw her last messenger through the front doors. Werewolves can apparently bounce. “

Caroline looked everywhere but Bonnie’s face. She would not appreciate the laughter Caroline was struggling to hide.

“The pack has started referring to the party as The Event, and every time someone is dumb enough to mention it in Klaus’ hearing, he gets that particular look on his face.” Bonnie waved her hand. “You know the look: he’s clearly weighing just how useful you are and if dead would be the better state of your existence.”

Caroline cleared her throat, trying to look contrite. It was difficult, when all she wanted to do was lean forward and ask for more details. Ask just how much Klaus was suffering, if the wound of her leaving matched the one he’d left in her. “That sounds terrible.”

AO3: Link Here

Please remember that my A03 account is unfortunately locked due to AI scrapping. You will need to be logged into an account to see all of my stories.

[elithemiar-blog]

😑😑😑😑 Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid (Wonderful) Prizes

Kim has this…friend. They got along often enough and he's far more tolerant of this friend than his own brothers. How they met is a story and a half, more reluctance on his own part during the entire course of events. The one thing about his friend is that he's a fucking menace.

Porsche is a gremlin, his boundless energy serving to get him into trouble. Often then not he only gets a warning and ever rarely does he get in actual consequential trouble. Which, good for him. If he did get a severe threat towards the continued attendance of their college, Kim may have to reconsider their friendship. However, Porsche knows better than to get him dragged into his shenanigans. Kim has threatened him enough times over various creatives directions to get that point across.

So, when Porsche ended up finding a ring laying on the ground that he refuses to explain the exact location, he didn't question it that much. The ring, black in color with a center portion of what looks to be cobalt blue, is his style. If someone were to find it or ask about it, he'll hand it over without a word.

Kim had started going through his fingers to see if the ring actually fit, and when he found it fitting his ring finger he shrugged and accepted the ring.

Porsche found it amusing, telling him he's now married to whoever that ring belonged to.

Kim only glowered back at him.

It's been weeks, nearly two months he would think since he gained the ring. It is now an integral part of his ring collection, swiping it out only once or twice to make sure it fit with everything else he was wearing. Though the ring fit with practically everything with the darker tones.

He's sitting in the student lounge starting to get ideas for his final project, being pulled away from his own work to help his juniors understand their assignments. Helping them is giving a break from his own looming project. As he's helping a freshman understand some English translation, the door to the rest of campus is kicked open.

The entire student lounge is confronted with Kim's brother, Tankhun, entering the lounge in a flourish of bright colors and feathers. His brother's normal comfort outfit when doing something outside his comfort zone. Kim is stunned to see him here, at his alma mater, and when Tankhun finally latches his searching gaze on Kim, he can't help but fear what had happened.

Tankhun still silent, stomps over to him, their juniors at his table scramble to get out of the way. Taking Kim's hand by force, Tankhun gives the ring sitting on his finger a good look, then gasps spinning away. "Who is he?"

Kim stares back, confused, "Who?"

"You're fiance! You would be the one to hide a lover." he grumbles back. Then roving the room just once before looking back at him, "Is he in this room?"

"Khun, what are you talking about?"

"I had been told that you are hiding a lover, and he proposed to you! And I haven't even met him yet!" Tankhun's hands land on his hips, "Despicable younger brothers hiding from their family is one thing, but at least let me meet the dearest who had swiped my baby brother from his feet!"

Kim's mind immediately went to Porsche. He shook that thought away, giving the older benefit of doubt before accusing the man, as Porsche is aware of his opinions of getting dragged into these things. "Khun, there--" the seat beside him is suddenly filled with another body, and a hand is placed on his, he turns his head, to find sweet brown eyes giving him a concerning look, but a hint of something else that puts him on edge.

Porchay Kittisawat is a known name of the freshman class, many of his juniors have been talking about how talented the younger is. In Kim's eyes, he sees someone familiar.

"It is me, phi. Though we're not engaged, not sure who told you that."

Tankhun pauses in his dramatics, "Why haven't I met you?"

"It's still new, maybe a month or two. With P'Kim's growing reputation online, I didn't want to ruin it, and he didn't want to get his brother's hopes up."

When Khun turns around he says, "Well, then I'll have to give that other student a piece of my mind!"

Kim leans over to Porchay, "You're going to get me into trouble." he whispers.

Porchay hesitated, his hand that he had placed on top of Kim's that still rests on the table begins to pull away, only to rest beside him and not touching him anymore. "I think I know who's at fault…just…I can get him to apologize to your brother for causing this."

Familiar cackling was their answer when Tankhun opened the door to leave. The older brother shrieks, "You!"

Kim raises a brow at Porchay's groaning, "You know Porsche?"

Porchay rests his head on Kim's shoulder, partially hiding his face behind him, "He's my brother."

"Explains the similarites." he tells Porchay, giving the familiarity an answer.

"I'm sorry, I thought hia would hold off a little before going for a reaction."

"How dare you tell me their engaged! Fledgling relationships need time, you could've ruined Kim's life!"

Porsche's laughter had stopped, and Porchay could be heard whispering down a countdown, "…2…1."

Porchay's brother and Kim's soon-to-be ex-friend enters the lounge, "Porchay Kittisawat!"

Porchay drops his head from where he's been hiding and onto the table, peaking up he finds that his hand is now being covered by Kim's.

"When did this happen?!" Porsche squacks, quite similar to Tankhun.

"You told me to take more chances." Porchay answers, lifting his head to glare back.

"To get into college! Not to, not to get yourself a boyfriend!" Porsche splutters, "That ring isn't even yours!"

"It is though, you stole it from my desk!"

"You were gonna get rid of it. You told me it wasn't your style!"

"I was going to give it to P'Kim anyways!"

The two Kittisawat brothers' voices began to grow in volume that other people began to either leave for peace and quiet or just cover their ears. One or two were actually recording the incident.

Kim tugs onto Porchay's hand to get his attention, but it doesn't work.

"Porchay Pichaya Kittisawat, you didn't not spend money on a ring you were going to give away anyway!"

"It was one ring, and I was trying to figure out if it fit my style, and I found out it wasn't!" he snaps back, his body ridging as anger and frustration curled through him.

Kim's decision to actually hold Porchay's hand wasn't actually executed as smoothly as he thought, as Tankhun's screech followed by Porsche's demanding gasp gained Porchay's attention. "Take a deep breath." he tells the younger anyway, Porchay doing as told. "Let it out. Slowly."

"Thank you." Porchay's form relaxes somewhat, though his looming brother, keeps him still.

"You did tell me I'm married to whoever the ring belongs to." He says calmly to Porsche.

"Marriage!" Tankhun turns to Porsche, who's eyes widened at exactly who he now he has to face. "There's no ceremony! Porsche, how could you!"

"Khun, it's not…they're not actually--"

"And here I thought I had an actual friend! Everyone always abandons me! Kinn, Kim, and now you. I don't know if I can trust you anymore!" Tankhun swishes out of the room, Porsche trying to explain as they get further away.

"What ring?" Porchay asks, turning to look over his fingers.

Kim shows him the black and blue ring on his left hand, "Porsche said he found it." he takes his hand away from Porchay's to remove the ring and give it back to the rightful owner.

"Cool." he looks at it, until Kim tries to hand it over, "Huh?"

"It's yours right?"

"It was a fib. I mean I do have a ring missing but it's not that one."

"You said…"

"Hia knows that I've got a missing ring, but I never told him what it looks like. A friend wanted to borrow it and I've never seen it again. Hia is pretty good at getting information and memories mixed up."

"What's it look like?"

"Hmm? Oh! It's silver with stars and moons on it."

Kim thinks back to his collection, a good majority of people are aware of his ring obsession, so any lost rings are brought to him. "It's scratched up and the black part is flaking off?"

Porchay sits up straight, "Have you seen it?"

Kim stands, "I think I might have it. Come on."

Kim leads Porchay to his dorm, they talked somewhat through the short journey. Mainly about music, their plans for the future, and complaints about projects. Porchay teased him about getting started early on a his final project, but Kim told him that it's best to be prepared just in case. Porchay didn't question the just in case. Partially understanding that some things they don't have control over.

Entering Kim's room, Porchay is instantly drawn toward the two guitars sitting on stands, he only frowns slightly at the lack of personality within the room. It's devoid.

Kim goes to his jewelry box, there are four boxes, each with a different set of rings. The one that may belong to the freshman behind him, is actually stored in a drawer. It's one he'll pick out when he's hit a creative block, some thoughts will flow through his mind of the kind of person that would wear it. He opens it and takes it out showing Porchay. "This it?"

"Yes!" the shout of joy and relief flows from the younger as he slips the silver ring onto his right index finger. "Thank you!" he then runs his thumb over the ring and frowns.

"What's wrong?"

"It's supposed to spin." Porchay shakes his head, "I'm just happy that it's back." he flashes Kim a wide smile. "As for the, uh, fake relationship that…um…"

"What about it?" Kim's eyes narrowed at him.

"I thought maybe we could keep it up? I know it's a lot," Porchay begins seeing the decline building in Kim's eyes, "but we could both get back at hia."

"Porsche didn't target you. You have no reason to get back at him."

"You do, though." Porchay looks down at his ring. "I…hia doesn't get consequences often, but this time the lesson might stick. When he would get on his prank marathons, he doesn't always stop at boundaries, I'm usually the one that has to…prank him back to get him to stop."

"You…are both gremlins, then?"

"Hia practically raised me." he muttered when Kim turned around back to his ring boxes.

"You'll shame him to leave me alone? That's the plan? It could work, but," he opens one box with slightly smaller ring sizes. Some that had been delivered together as a set, but didn't actually fit him.

"If you don't want to, it's fine. I mean, you do have a growing reputation online, I wouldn't want to risk that."

With Porchay rambling behind him, he picks up a ring that is a slightly smaller size compared to the moon and star that currently resides on his finger. It doesn't match the younger's style, but everyone, and especially Porsche knows Kim's style. The ring he picks up is black, but the imbedded chain that wraps around the band is silver, would basically be a claim to whoever wears it.

"Hia will question everything once he realizes that the ring isn't mine, and he'll go back to potentially targeting you. If we would extend the fake relationship, it'll be an easy backfire on hia and…"

"This wouldn't work unless Porsche sees I'm reciprocating." Kim says turning back to take Porchay's left hand, sliding the ring onto his ring finger. "Good. Perfect fit."

"This isn't my style." Porchay says, taking his hand away to observe the ring.

"It's mine, and if you have a ring in my style, Porsche will be more likely to believe the ruse."

"Then you should probably call me Chay. Hia definetly won't believe otherwise."

[NOTES: PLOT???)

Kim finding a way to fix the moon and star ring so it spins again. Chay proceeds to hug him.

Chay forgets his fixed ring, so Kim allows him to fidget with the rings on his hand.

Chay remembers his ring, and Kim is unsure how he feels with Chay not messing with his rings.

Kim breaking into Chay's room to steal all of his fidget rings that he gave him so Chay can go back to playing with the rings on Kim's hand instead.

Chay being naturally affectionate doesn't realize that Kim is no longer faking the relationship. Only when he finds his missing rings in one of Kim's ring boxes and is caught by Kim does he finally understand.

Chay reciprocating the ring gifting and Kim not realizing the significance of the action, still attempting to court Chay.

Porsche pulling Tankhun into a prank that reveals Chay's and Kim's feeling toward each other.

Porsche and Tankhun find out the entire situation and teases them for it.

[SEQUEL???? I'VE GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS!!]

Chay and Kim, who work really well together, put Porsche and a returned (WHERE??) Kinn together who do the exact same thing.

Chay and Kim both act like they don't know about Porsche and Kinn's Fake Relationship, they're just adding to the bonfire.

Kinn actually falls first. Porsche is too caught up in his attempts at keeping everything as a prank to see Kinn's genuine courting.

Tankhun is both horrified and amused, immediately knowing that this is Kim and Chay's fault.

Then Korn(?) finds out, leaving Porsche and Kinn to fake a relationship around Korn on their own.

Porsche ends the pranking to deal with Korn (threat?) and becomes genuine around Kinn, helping Kinn as is needed.

Ends with Chay and Kim giving Porsche a 'how's it feel'…but they're all so happy that the shenanigans are over.

[therulerofallpotatos]

Wyler Fanfiction Rec List Part 2

For @ourloveisdahliaoh, here’s part 2 of that rec list I said I’d make.

My Monster by Wyler4Lifer

Summary: None

Words: 3,721 Chapters: 2/? Rated: E

There’s no summary for this fic and it breaks my heart that it might be overlooked because it is so much fun. I’ve talked about how delightful this fic is to my friends irl and how much fun it is to see Gomez pick up himself a pet hyde and Wednesday to find Tyler fucking Galpin in her house being dressed like a purse dog by her father who is excited about his new beast. The family meeting and harboring Tyler is so good.

Who is in Control? by green_writer

Summary: “Please, flattery will get you nowhere,” Wednesday says, holding her ground as he stalks towards her.

Tyler grips her lapels, jostling her roughly forward. She watches his face, the Hyde lurking just underneath the surface, wonders how much control he has, how much of the boy she met at the Weathervane is still there. She’s reminded of the last time he got up in her face like this, gloating about his kills at the Sherriff’s office. The rage that his little monologue had inspired deep in her gut. That he could deceive her so easily, not just covering his own tracks but misguiding her towards a wholehearted conviction that Xavier was the Hyde. She had felt stupid and small and entirely disgusted with herself. He would have to pay.

----

What if Wednesday, not Enid, had gone against Tyler in the woods in episode 8?

Or - How to Discipline Your Hyde 101.

Words: 10,781 Chapters: 3/3 Rated: E

I’m sorry. Did you say smut? Because this is 3 chapters full of Wednesday fucking Tyler from the cockroach scene onwards. green_writer understood the fucking assignment. 100/10. Will read again.

Friendly Neighborhood Phantom by ThatOneAntiHero

Summary: Strange murders, a mysterious ghost boy, a missing teenager, and numerous suspects.

Maybe Wednesday Addams was going to stay at Nevermore longer than she expected.

Words: 8,447 Chapters: 3/? Rated: M

I swear i felt like the three spidermen meme when i saw this. I had just rediscovered “Sex with a ghost” and had thought of my own haunting au and then i read this and i’m so happy. It’s dead amnesiac tyler investigating with Wednesday who can see him and it’s amazing. I’m on the edge of my seat waiting for the next chapter.

Kiss Me Before It’s Too Late by JHoeUNeed2Stop

Summary:  Tyler & Wednesday's last encounter told differently.

More spicy.

Words: 2,090 Chapters: 1/1 Rated: M

It’s another cockroach scene where Enid doesn’t cockblock and I am having such a good time with each and every one of them. JHoe is making the world a better place.

my unconquerable soul by melpomenemuse

Summary: “Who is your master?” she asks dispassionately. 

Wednesday doesn’t care who Tyler’s master is. An objective part of her does, the one that wants a satisfactory conclusion to her novel, but the only thing she cares about right now is this: Tyler has a master.

And it isn’t her.

Or: an insight into Wednesday and Tyler’s relationship through the season finale and post Season 1.

Words: 16,983 Chapters: 13/? Rated: M

The amount of want between these two is delicious. Wednesday seething at the idea that Laurel touched him first is just *chef’s kiss*

Tipsy Truth Telling by Realmermaid333

Summary: Wednesday never thought she’d get drunk, she thought being drunk was for immature fools who couldn’t control themselves— that was until she went to Yoko’s party. 

Words: 2,675 Chapters: 1/1 Rated: T

This is just fun. It’s so much fun. @realmermaid333 is such a gift and I’m so happy I got the privilege of encouraging this in the server. Drunk Wednesday is exactly what I need to brighten my day with some silly little low stakes shenanigans.

Finding Dr. Jekyll by its2014again

Summary: “A Hyde is just a puppet, their mind brainwashed by the puppet-master. To reverse the damage, you have to delve into their subconscious. You have to find the Jekyll beneath the Hyde."

After 30 days in prison, Tyler still won't talk. He won't talk to his father, to the doctors, or to his therapist. Maybe this has something to do with being chained to a chair - or maybe it's because the only person he will speak to... is Wednesday.

Words: 8,154 Chapters: 5/? Rated: NR

Riddles and brainwashing and attraction oh my! The latest chapter had me on the edge of my seat and i highly recommend you all read this fic to see exactly what I mean

a crack run down right the front of me by Morbidmuch

Summary: Tyler's teeth are bright in his paint-splattered face.

“Red looks good on you.”Wednesday doesn't know what to reply when he says things like that: things like I mean it, Wednesday, you look beautiful and I knew there was a reason I liked you. It's all too much and the stone walls protecting her center quiver. Traitors.

Words: 2,194 Chapters: 1/1 Rated: T

what a wonderful dance au and there’s talking and emotions and Wednesday being Wednesday.

the simulation we’re dreaming in by angelconstellations

Summary: If the blood-paint hadn't rained and the dance had continued...

Set during ep 4. What might have happened if the prank didn't happen and Wednesday didn't have her vision to go after Eugene.

Words: 1,789 Chapters: 1/1 Rated: T

a what if they actually finished their date at the dance au and i love it to pieces.

Ennui vs. Wednesday Addams by Klyson

Summary: Tyler had always known he was better than everyone else. He couldn’t make it a reality yet, but someday he’d get out of this backwater hellhole called Jericho and make himself great.

His mother’s death throws a bit of a wrench in his plans, and so does the beast he can morph into and the woman who dares call herself his “master”. She will die for that… someday. Until then, though, at least she isn’t boring.

And then Wednesday Addams comes barreling into his life.

Or

Tyler is a sociopath or something and Wednesday is much more interesting than Laurel Gates.

Words: 15,821 Chapters: 3/6 Rated: E

This is one of my absolute favorites. Seeing Tyler growing up and meeting Wednesday? I love leaning more into the “sociopath finds love” plot. it’s a favorite au of mine.

[audioaujom]

(3) Relationship Advice From a Thespian

LTWF Hub, < prev, next >

Hello and welcome back! No warnings for this chapter, unless Roman’s uncalled for yet hilarious dramatics need a warning. 

Hope you enjoy the fluff! 

Word Count: 1578

--

Sitting on his bed with nothing but evening sunlight streaming in through the open windows, Patton sighed and tried to calm himself down.

It wasn't like he'd had a bad time with Logan—it was quite the contrary, after the other kids ran off and Virgil fixed him they'd had a wonderful time. Sure, it was mostly Patton getting distracted and talking about random things while Logan tried to keep him on task, but it was fun! The problem was that his mind kept wandering back to the kids who were picking on him.

What was their deal? 

Why were they taking it out on Logan?

And most importantly, Why did Logan think it was fine?

Each question that came to mind made him progressively more upset, huddling into his jacket as if the warmth would make all of his bad thoughts go away. Patton was so wrapped up in his spiral of thoughts that he didn’t hear the footsteps approaching the door from the outside, nor the way the door was unlocked from the outside, followed by—

“I have returned bearing good news and bad news!” Roman declared as he burst through the dorm door, shedding his backpack and jacket with a flourish. “Good news, I’ve been invited to a frat party in the nearby neighborhood that I will be using you as an excuse to not attend, and so you’ll be getting me to yourself for the rest of the evening. Bad news, that means—you’re not listening to me.” Roman frowned, noticing Patton very absorbed in staring at his hands from his spot sitting cross legged by the pillows on his bed. “Are you listening? You don’t seem like you’re listening to me.”

“Yeah, that’s… that’s great, Roman.” Patton tried to force a smile, but ultimately just seemed to grimace before going back to playing with his hands in his lap.

“Hey now, what’s got you so down in the dumps there? You’re usually Mr. Sunshine, Smiles, and Shenanigans.” Roman’s smile creased into a frown, kicking his shoes off as he approached the bed. “Has that emo Steve Jobs started to rub off on you?”

“No, it has nothing to do with Virgil.” Patton paused, before confusion washed over his features and he looked up at Roman. “Wait, Steve Jobs wasn’t a programmer. Why are you—”

“Technology Smechnology; it’s all the same. Tell me: what’s troubling you?” Roman took a seat on the edge of Patton’s bed, his arms flailing widely in some dramatic gesture that was lost on Patton. “How can the almighty Mr. Adler help you?”

“It's just… there's this guy in my astronomy class.” Patton started softly, Roman’s eyes instantly going wide as he shot his roommate a suggestive grin.

“Ooooh, need a little love advice? I am absolutely the guy to go to, given my astoundingly good looks and natural charm!”

“No, Roman, it's not like that.” Patton shook his head, his hands moving to play with the hem of his jacket. “The other kids, they… well, sometimes they hurt him and tease him and I don't know what to do to help him. He doesn't even seem to notice how bad they are to him and I—!” 

“Oh, Patton, come here.” Roman dropped the theatrics all at once, opening his arms for a hug that Patton immediately threw himself into. He buried his face in Roman’s shoulder, blinking back the tears beginning to form in his eyes. “Whoa! Guess you really needed a hug, huh?”

“You can say that again.” Patton mumbled, soaking up as much of the contact as he could before he'd inevitably have to pull away.

“Guess you really needed a hug, huh?” Roman laughed as Patton pulled his face out of his shoulder, eyes wide and starry.

“Hey! That's my kind of joke!” He laughed, sniffing a little and pulling all the way away. “Sorry, by the way. I don't mean to randomly dump this kind of thing on you.”

“I don't mind at all.” Roman smiled, patting him on the shoulder. “So! Tell me what's troubling you and I'll find the right person and or place and or thing to destroy on your behalf!”

“What's your beef with nouns?” Patton smiled even as he tried to sound serious, Roman pausing for a minute before frowning half-heartedly to hide his smile.

“Any noun that is troubling my dear sweet roommate deserves to be punched!”

Patton rolled his eyes, grabbing one of his smaller pillows that happened to be shaped like a cat head and set it in his lap to hug it. “It's just like I said. There's this very cute—I mean, very nice boy in my astronomy class that I like quite a little bit, you know?” Roman snickered as Patton corrected himself, face going red. “We were gonna go over notes together today but when I got to the classroom some kids were beating him up…” 

“Do you know their names?” Roman asked levelly, though the look in his eyes gave away his violent intentions.

“No, and even if I did I wouldn't want you going after them.” Patton shook his head, hugging the pillow a little tighter. “Logan didn't seem to mind that they hated him, anyway. He even told me that it was fine and that I didn't have to worry.” 

“Then you just need to show him that it's not fine!” Roman suggested, shifting to sit beside Patton and put an arm over his shoulders. “Just be you, Patton. Be all sweet and silly and awesome to show him how good he's supposed to have things.” He hugged Patton and his pillow into his side, before leaning his head down to tease, “And if you need help with a good dating spot, I've got you covered!”

“What— No! I already said it's not like that!” Patton squeaked in surprise, bringing the pillow up to his face to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears.

Roman poked his side lightly, swiping the pillow away from Patton when he jumped. “Your face betrays you.” 

“So maybe he's a little cute, but—!” Patton tried to defend, sticking both of his hands and making a grab motion with his hands to try and get Roman to give him his pillow back.

“Okay, okay! Whatever you say.” Roman shrugged disbelievingly, giving the cat pillow a warm hug instead of giving it back as Patton stared at him, mouth agape. “But my offer will always stand.” He quickly released the pillow from the hug, setting it down on the bed and standing up with a quick stretch of his back. “C’mon, it's late and I bet you haven't eaten anything yet.”

Patton opened his mouth to protest, but cut himself off as his stomach growled loudly enough Roman raised his eyebrows at him. “How'd you know?” 

“You were sitting in here dead to the world with the lights off when I got back. Call it a lucky guess.” Roman deadpanned before smiling widely, reaching out a hand that Patton gratefully took and tugged him out of their dorm and into the hallway—after grabbing their shoes.

All of Patton’s concerns were chased away for the moment as Roman chattered on about the rehearsal he'd had the previous day, leading them both down to the dining hall to try and find something to eat. Roman must’ve gotten his phone out at some point, since Virgil came to join the two a little while after they arrived, Patton watching the other two bicker as he happily finished off his dinner with a little ice cream—as a treat.

Patton went to bed that night feeling an awful lot better, and with a plan.

The next morning Patton tried his hardest to focus on the lecture, but he kept feeling Logan stare at him periodically and looking up only for him to turn his gaze away as if he hadn't been looking in the first place. Several of his lines of notes trailed off halfway through, never to be completed as when he managed to focus again the slides had already moved on.

At the end of class he felt Logan staring at him again, quickly packing up his bags and jogging up to the ATA’s desk. “Hey there Logan! Are you okay? You kept staring at me.”

“Ah, yes. I just wanted to speak with you about what happened yesterday.” Logan admitted, not quite meeting Patton’s eyes as he spoke. “I didn’t get the chance to say this, but… thank you.”

Logan wasn’t exactly the most expressive person, but Patton swore he could see his cheeks faintly turning pink. 

Wow… he must be even more advanced than I thought…

“For, um, chasing those kids off and having your friend repair me. I… appreciated it.”

“It was nothing, really!” Patton beamed, barely waiting for Logan to finish speaking as he stopped himself short of hugging the taller boy and instead placed a hand on his shoulder with a grin. “I’m just glad to help a friend!”

“Yeah, a… friend.” Logan mumbled to himself, finally looking up from where he was staring away from Patton to look at him properly. “We should do that again some time. Hopefully with a more pleasant start.”

“I'd love to!” Patton rushed out, his heart fluttering a little. “I mean, haha, yeah sure! That would be fun.”

Perfect! Now I can put Roman’s plan into action.

I really hope this works…

[delirious-donna]

Love Hurts [Manjiro Sano]

Oct. 21 - Sano Manjiro aka Mikey (Bonten timeline) x female reader

Your boyfriend was the most loving man, most of the time, but sometimes he was the meanest person walking this Earth and he was going to make you cry from the venom he'd spout.

warnings: degradation, mean Mikey, petting in front of others, being called a slut, manhandling, orgasm denial, assisted masturbation, rough blowjob, gagging, unprotected sex, window sex

Masterlist

"You're the light of my life."

"The only person that keeps me out of the darkness."

"I don't know what I'd do without you…"

All claims made time and again by the man that you looked up to above all others. If he were the starless, midnight sky then you were the moon that hung ever-present. Mikey was the love of your life, the constant in a turbulent world that threw every kind of trauma into his path. It wasn't fair, it shouldn't be this difficult for one man, but you hoped that your devotion lightened his load.

You eyed your reflection in the mirror, toes twisting on the tiled floor and your lower lip bitten with dried blood lining the plush flesh that had been glossed and shiny only hours ago. The soft lilac dress mocked you, it was your favourite - his favourite - and you had worn it, especially for him.

~

It had been a mistake and you knew that now.

The very second your eyes met Manjiro's seated behind his desk, you had known it was a bad day. There was no way you could've known earlier; this morning you had roused him from his slumber in the same way as every other morning. Having to coax him back to consciousness as his face attempted to burrow further into his pillow and the arm hooked around your middle only tightened like a vice.

From the sleepy-eyed, yawning and affectionate lover he had transformed into the dark-eyed, cold and mean criminal boss that took no shit and had zero mercy for anyone. What had transpired to provoke such a stark change? You didn't know and wouldn't until he opened up to you - if he even would do so.

It had been meant as a surprise, a visit to his office to cheer him up and perhaps indulge in some naughty and highly inappropriate shenanigans, but that had been scuppered by the grim expression that turned Manjiro's face cruel.

The way his gaze had raked your appearance, and not in the lustful way you had hoped for but with vehement scorn - well, it had hurt. His finger lifted to beckon you from where you were frozen on the spot mere inches in the doorway.

Now, the almost sympathetic and uncharacteristic expression on Sanzu's face made sense as you had given him a small wave hello on your way towards Manjiro's office. He nodded in reply, his eyes sliding towards the door you were heading for and a slight frown tugging his brow down.

Forcing you to seat yourself upon the edge of his desk, a harsh palm spread your thighs, snapping the hem of your knee socks and only raising a smile when you winced at the snapback against your plush flesh.

"Whose attention are you trying to gain today, hmm?"

Manjiro's cold words had sent the lead weight from your stomach to your toes, there was a dangerous edge to his voice. The shake of his head when you tried desperately to assure him that you were here for him and no one else, the defiant jut of his lip and the fingertips that pushed further into the fat of your ass.

"I doubt that. I wonder who it is that you've got an eye on and what exactly should I do about it?"

You endured being posed upon his lap for the next hour as he took a business meeting with three men you didn't recognise. It was embarrassing, mortifying even, the way they watched as Manjiro's hand crept steadily towards the apex of your thighs before quickly moving their eyes away. The dark chuckle that he offered in response and the shifting feet of both Sanzu and Kakucho who stood against the opposing wall.

"You can look, she wants to be admired like an attention-seeking slut."

Your cheeks had burned with shame, tears threatening to spill from your eyes, but you couldn't deny that you were becoming aroused by how mean he was treating you. How possessive he was acting with those darn hands of his, exploring your curves as he continued to talk business like he wasn't feeling you up.

That first breathy moan that you had tried to stifle, really you had, was the last straw. You were pushed from his knee, catching yourself on the corner of his desk seconds before you would have tumbled to the floor and stared back into a face that was expressionless.

“I’ll see you later… don’t you dare change.”

With those words thrown at you like acid tipped blades, you strode for the door with your head held as high as you could manage. You refused to meet the uncomfortable stares of his second and third in command, instead, choosing to slam the door hard enough that it rattled in its hinges and damn the consequences.

~

Now, as you gazed at your reflection, your bottle had crashed and you were worried about the kind of man who was about to walk through the door. Whilst you never felt physically endangered by your man, he was nonetheless intimidating and you knew what he was capable of if pushed hard enough.

The front door slammed and a ripple of fear and something else shot from the top of your head right down and into your toes. A tendril of a sinful wish to be humiliated and talked down to washed over you and coated your complexion in a fierce heat.

You felt his presence before your eyes set their sights on his figure, the aura that surrounded him was overwhelming, intimidating and yet your soul answered his flare of power with a welcoming embrace.

Ash blond hair stole your attention, his bangs fell into those voidless eyes and his skin shone under the lights with all the luminance of a low-hanging moon. Dark circles pressed beneath his eyes and you longed to go to him, to soothe him in any way you could and share the burden with him, but it wouldn’t be welcomed - not right now.

Manjiro ignored you, his gaze pointedly fixed on the bed behind your knees as he unbuttoned his shirt and unbuckled his belt.

“Touch yourself.”

You jerked as if the two words he spoke were physical blows to your cheek. He sat heavily on the edge of the bed, his shirt spread open to reveal the honed muscles that you adored to detail with your tongue.

He sighed, a palm rubbing down his face. “Did I fucking stutter? Touch yourself, you’ve dolled yourself up like a proper little whore so you may as well get yourself off,” he hissed.

Your chest flushed at the insinuation, but your hand shakily slid beneath your pretty dress. There was a damp spot on your panties, it had been growing since he had appeared, your heart was betraying the mean words he levelled at you.

“That’s it, touch that slutty little cunt. Bet it’s drenched already. Did you like being drooled over by every man in that room earlier?”

Manjiro was behind you before you even realised he had moved. His strong palm graced the slender column of your throat, fingers and thumb coiling around the sides and squeezing lightly.

“Did you want me to bend you over my desk and show them who you belong to? Who this,” his free hand forced your legs to widen as he cupped your sex and pressed your fingers deeper between your slick folds, “belongs to?”

“Mi-Mikey,” you rasped, letting your head fall against his shoulder with puffs of air passing through your parted lips.

“Calling me that, huh? And where did Manjiro go? You think you get to use that nickname freely? Guess again…”

He manipulated your hand, taking control of your digits and working them aggressively against your pulsing clit. The taut fabric of your panties burned friction into your soaked skin and you whined at the sensation.

“That's enough for you right now,” he stated whilst ripping away your hand and finishing the work on his pants. You felt the heat of his thick cock between your thighs, Manjiro slid himself back and forth as he held the flimsy skirt of your dress to the curve of your spine.

“Goddamn, you were made to please me, you know that right? The perfect pussy to take my cock. Such a slut that you couldn’t wait for me to come home, had to turn up in this slutty outfit and tempt me when I should be working. Flaunting yourself in front of men that have no fucking right to even gaze in your direction.”

His strokes increased as the heat in his voice intensified. Manjiro was fucking his cock between your clenched thighs, the thick ridge of his cockhead catching on your clit with each drag of his hips.

Suddenly, he clamped down on your throat, making you squeak or try to squeak in surprise, and then he was spinning you. Hands on your shoulders as he forced you to your knees and tapped his weeping dick on your lips.

He was a force to be reckoned with, the power of his mood bending you to his will and you could only submit to him. If Mikey was your God, the man you worshipped and adored, then Manjiro was your Devil, the man you feared but admired in sinful secret.

“Open up, suck it good and I'll let you cum on my cock… not that you deserve it.”

Mere seconds after your lips parted, Manjiro was fucking your face with fervour. One hand tangled into your hair and dictated your every movement, holding you so your nose brushed his pelvis and you choked on his cock.

Strands of thick saliva mixed with precum dripped from your chin, having oozed from the sides of your mouth. Gasping and crying from how roughly he was fucking your raw throat. There was no time for your tongue to flick at the veins lining his shaft, for your teeth to gently nip at the ridge of his mushroom tip or for your cheeks to hollow.

Manjiro grunted like a beast, caught between wanting to watch your face with its ruined mascara and fat tears and wanting to let his head fall back, eyes closed in ecstasy.

The worst of his mood seeped out of him, as if he were soothed by the feel of your mouth and how you took his dark side without flinching or looking truly scared. He’d never hurt you, never, never, never. The mantra rang through his head and suddenly he needed you - needed you so damn bad.

Strong hands hooked under your arms, pulling you into a strong naked chest. He hugged you, his embrace so tight that you might pop but before you could protest, your body was spun to face the floor to ceiling windows that showed the dazzling lights of the city.

The glass was cool against your hands and cheek, held against the surface whilst Manjiro manoeuvred you into the position he wanted. Your hips grew back, toes almost tripping over his feet as he planted himself directly between your spread thighs.

One swipe of his sticky cock against your slit and he was pressing into you, he was slow but continuous. There was no lazy back and forth to open you up to take his entirety, this was a languid drive until he was buried up to the hilt.

“Let me show the whole of the city who you belong to. I'd see it burn before I let someone else ever touch you...”

[saintlike78]

Hey I was wondering if you could write something where the readers period is coming up soon and their boobs hurt and one boys (it doesn't matter who/could be all of them 🤷‍♀️)hold them for her lol could be really fuffy? I know you probably got a lot to do any way rn so just take your time with this ! <333333 love you kis kis

I don’t mind [S.B]

A/N: I didn’t even have to think about who I wanted to write this about, Sirius instantly came to mind, he would absolutely love “helping you out” in this way. I also decided to make it post Hogwarts Sirius, but it’s up to you if it’s post Azkaban Sirius.

Pairing: Sirius Black x fem! Reader

Words: 585

Warnings: Slight NSFW, Fluff, pre-period pains and aches, post Hogwarts Sirius, boob holding (?).

“Hey, pup, have you seen my… what’r ya doing there, hun?” Sirius burst through the door to your shared bedroom looking for the remaining elements of his outfit but was stopped by your seated form on the bed, your hands holding your breasts over top of your shirt, your head was thrown back buried in the depths of your multiple pillows.

Your head lifted slowly, your eyes opening to look at the man before you, a signature sly smirk had settled on his face, but you were in no mood for his typical shenanigans, so you just huffed and closed your eyes once more.

“I’m about to get my period,” you gave a short explanation, knowing that Sirius knew full well what that meant.

You never understood why your body had decided to set a ‘natural alarm clock’ as if getting your period wasn’t bad enough, you also had to be achy days before the actual thing started, making your discomfort last way longer than you wished for.

“Aww pup, you all achy?” Sirius asked sympathetically, moving towards the bed and sitting on the edge turning his body so he could look at you.

You opened your eyes to look at him, nodding, your lips jutted out in a pout, a displeased look on your face.

Sirius reached forward, stroking your leg slowly before an idea popped into his head, a little mischievous smile etched on his face.

“You want me to hold them for you?” he asked, trying his hardest to make it sound innocent, which it mostly was – he did just want to help you, but to say it was completely selfless would be a lie.

“Uhm, I don’t know… they’re all sore, I’m not sure it would help,” you shrugged, but slightly intrigued by the idea.

“Trust me, puppy, it’ll be great,” he didn’t give you a chance to ponder it before he had moved to sit beside you with his back to the headboard, his hands on your waist to lift you onto his lap.

Once settled, he gave your body a quick squeeze, kissing your neck and whispering a small ‘I love you’ in your ear.

Your heart fluttered at the softer side of the love that was Sirius Black – famously mischievous, but with a soft side reserved for you and you alone.

He reached his hands underneath the thin material of your shirt, cupping your braless breasts and holding the weight in his hands, taking the pressure off of you. You let out a sigh, finding instant relief in the slight break you got from the heaviness.

He slowly started to massage them, earning a whine of discomfort to fall from your lips.

“I know, pup, give it a minute, and then it’ll feel good,” he kissed the side of your head, his hands not stopping their kneading of your breasts.

The ache subsided slightly, letting you breathe out properly and lean further into Sirius enjoying the closeness of it all.

“Thank you, Siri,” you turned your head, kissing the underside of his jaw, earning you a soft smile, but not missing the mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

“Anytime, my sweet… I would never want you to be uncomfortable, I’ll always be here to help with this type of situation,” he grinned.

“Oh, I know you would,” you laughed, stretching your neck and puckering your lips for him to kiss.

“Little minx,” he whispered before connecting your lips, the discomfort you felt completely out of mind – having had the best distraction.

Tags: @dracosafety, @justadreamyhufflepuff, @teenwolfbitches28, @emma67, @trouble-in-space, @kermiemoon, @autumnandwinteraesthetics, @roonilwazlibswhore

[minty-malfoy]

“would you still love me if I turned into a worm?” | blurbs

🌱 pairings: reader x blaise zabini, cedric diggory, draco malfoy, fred weasley, george weasley, harry potter, hermione granger, luna lovegood, neville longbottom (sorted in alphabetical order)

🌱 warning tags: language, probably

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Blaise Zabini

“A what, now?” your boyfriend asks, halting the movements of his quill to look up at you; brows furrowed as if it’s the most absurd thing he has ever heard in his entire life.

“You know, those wiggly things that—”

“I know what worms are, (y/n). But what the hell?”

“Dunno,” you shrug. “I’m bored.”

“So you thought about what it’d be like to turn into a worm?” his eyes narrow out of pure bewilderment, blinking once, twice, as he finally turns back to his unfinished essay. “Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that head of yours.”

“Not my fault you’re taking so long with that assignment,” you grumble as you begin to shift on the puffy couch, feeling somewhat annoyed by how cold and empty it is without the other boy in it. “And besides, you love me.”

An amused chuckle escapes his lips. “Can’t say that I don’t.”

“Even as a worm?”

“Will you stop asking if I said yes?”

You nod happily, giving him the answer he needs— or well, wants, really. Even though Blaise couldn’t quite understand the pointless question, he knows it’s significant to an extent.

“Yeah, alright. I would. Now give me five minutes and we can get out of here. Deal?”

A glint of satisfaction flashes through your eyes as you give him a hum in return, thinking to yourself that maybe the silly questions could be more useful than you thought.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Cedric Diggory

The moment the words leave your mouth, Cedric's first reaction is to laugh. He didn't mean for it to come out in a condescending way. He hadn't even meant to laugh, to begin with. But judging by the way you pout with both arms crossed, that might just have been how it came accross.

"I'm sorry," he offers sheepishly. "you were saying?"

"You heard me. I said what I've said," you grumble, despite not being genuinely upset at the hufflepuff boy you've grown to love.

"Wait, I need to get this straight," he takes another breath of air. "You're serious?"

"What do you think?" you pout once again, turning away slightly from your boyfriend. This only seems to ignite his amusement as much as it does his guilt. A second or two later, his arm finds its way around your shoulder, the other brushing a few strands of hair behind your ear.

"You really haven't figured it out yet?" he asks with a genuine grin on his face. You begin to eye him curiously, appreciating the charm of his pearly white teeth as you wait for the boy to go on. Soon, he pulls you into his lap where his arms craddle you lovingly.

"Sunshine," he begins. "I'm surprised you still have to ask. But if that's one way of putting my love for you, then yes. You'd be my favorite worm in the entire world."

"Promise?" you present your pinkie finger as a final means to seal the deal.

With one last chuckle, he wraps his fingers around yours. "Promise."

Everything that happens next is a flurry of innocent pecks and kisses planted along your skin, coupled with the security of two warm arms holding you in place.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Draco Malfoy

"And what exactly do you expect me to say to that?" comes his first response after a long moment of trying to figure out just how in Merlin's name your mind came up with that question.

You, on the other hand, can't help but giggle at the slytherin boy's confusion. "Whatever's on your mind right now will do."

"Well, to be honest with you, I can't quite stomach the idea of my own girlfriend turning into a bloody worm." he nearly spits the words out, softening his edge only when your eyes meet once again. "If you were expecting a different answer, I suggest moving on to the next bloke."

Draco wasn't lying about that first bit. Worms have always been an insignificant, unseen creature in his world; wiggling in the muckiest of places where they could easily be stepped on. Hence, he doesn't like to imagine you—someone so perfectly ethereal and quintessential in every single way; the only source of light shining into his pathetic excuse of a life—to be compared to a dirty worm, of all things.

"That doesn't mean I don't love you, though," he adds in a bit of a guilty tone; voice much, much softer this time. He brings your hand to his lips, dropping a few kisses on its skin. "I just much prefer having you as you already are."

You snuggle deeper into him, indicating that you already know exactly what he means.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Fred Weasley

“A worm!” Fred exclaims, nearly forgetting the food on his plate altogether. "What a brilliant idea!"

A few seats away, you can already see Ginny clamping her mouth shut as to not burst into fireworks of laughter. You mirror her gesture, eyes now on Fred once again, watching him announce this idea of yours to your entire group of friends.

Ron, who's not that thrilled to see his brother's public displays of affection, lets out a groan. "Wouldn't have asked him that if I were you."

"You think so?" comes your reply. "He seems to be having a lot of fun with this." you both glance at Fred, who is indeed already coming up with some sort of thrilling plot.

"Did you hear that, George?"

"Sure did, Fred."

"I reckon we could come up with a potion for that," he muses, turning back to look at you. "Give me a week or two and we can start living out that worm dream of yours, love."

"Wait, Freddie, you're getting it all wrong," you begin explaining, tugging on the boy's sleeve slightly to keep his attention on you, "It was just a silly little question. I don't actually plan on turning into a worm or anything like that."

At this point, you half expect his enthusiasm to die down from the grounding effect of your words. In reality, it doesn't.

"S'that so?" he replies, earning a nod from you. "Looks like you're missing the bigger picture to me, (y/n). Isn't that right, George?"

"Right you are, Fred." the said boy affirms. "Sorry, (y/n). I'm with him on this one."

With a sigh, you turn back to Ron, who's busily stuffing his mouth with a look on his face that says I told you so. You shake your head with a small smile at your boyfriend's shenanigans. You're not sure how you can both dread and anticipate the day of his worm adventures.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

George Weasley

"That's a new one," he asserts with an amused laugh. The boy rests his head against one of his palms, feeling instantly intrigued by your proposition. "Now tell me more about this worm business of yours."

"That's about it, actually." you admit sadly.

George frowns at this, wishing he could hear more worm stories and whatnot. Mostly he's just happy to see the way you talk about things passionately. Makes him feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside in a way he can't ever get enough of.

"That's quite alright. I'll do the talking, then." he offers, rubbing his chin to think of what to say next. You light up in your seat, eyes wide in anticipation. Now it's your turn to eagerly wait for his response once again.

"I've got an idea. We could run off and start a new life— as worms!" he beams all of a sudden. You raise a brow for him to go on, not exactly complaining about your boyfriend's excitement towards the topic. "I'm only turning into a worm to make sure I can properly take care of you, of course. Wouldn't want to—er—squash you between my big human fingers, now do we?"

You both erupt into a chorus of laughter at the conjectured image, melting into one another like two fitting puzzle pieces. When you finally catch your breath again, you pose the main question once more, "So I'm concluding you're still going to love me, then?"

"Love you?" he repeats. "Oh darling, I'll be marrying you in a grand worm wedding!"

You can't hold back the gasp that escapes your lips, more than thrilled to have the first mention of marriage between you. Not too long after, you transform into a complete fit of giggles when George continues. "Then we'll happily live our worm lives, 'till death do us apart. Or when, you know, some bloke accidentally steps on us. Whichever comes first."

You lean into him lovingly to steady yourself after all the laughing. Taking a deep breath in, you mumble a soft, "You always know how to make me laugh, Georgie."

And the truth is, he wouldn't have it any other way. Worms or not.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Hermione Granger

"I'm sorry, I don't think I understand the point of this question."

"Which part, exactly?" you inquire, watching your girlfriend pull out another book from the wooden library shelves.

A few seconds pass before you get your answer. "You're not a worm," she states simply, eyeing you up and down as if to prove her point.

"Yes, thank you for pointing that out, 'Mione," you follow her to the next section. "Which is why I said if I turned into a worm."

The girl looks at you again, analyzing your words and expression briefly before coming to another conclusion. "I still don't understand." she pauses to think. "Unless you might be interested in becoming an Animagus? Even then, opting for a worm wouldn't be very... effective."

You roll your eyes, speeding up to block the girl's way. She lets out a non-committal "Hey!", only for you to quickly muffle it with a warm kiss. A moment or two later, you pull away with a smirk that makes her heart melt. "Just answer the question, would you?"

Still slightly caught off guard from the contact, Hermione finally caves in. "Alright, you cheeky flirt. I love you. Even as a notional worm."

Satisfied with her answer, you plant another peck— this time on her cheek, before announcing a gentle "I love you, too."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Harry Potter

The way his lips purse into a straight line tells you that Harry doesn't exactly understand the question. Not really, at first. Aside from being an entirely foreign concept to his ears, it also seems like an odd thing to ask someone, unless— "Oh! You're an Animagus!"

The smile on your face instantly drops at this. "What? No—"

"Why didn't you just say so, (y/n)?" he begins what—at the time—you don't know is going to be a nearly endless ramble. "I was planning on telling you this for a while now, but I know someone who's an Animagus, actually. In fact, I think you two would get along fantastically!" he lights up at the sudden idea, flailing his arms in the air out of excitement. "Yes, maybe I can try getting the both of you to meet up. No promises, of course, but what do you think?"

"I think you've got it all wrong," you frown; knowing you would have to disappoint your boyfriend and how you're not very fond of the idea.

"What do you mean?" he asks, albeit barely giving you a second to reply. "(y/n), it's alright, really. You know you don't have to hide yourself from me. Besides, I think it's brilliant!— what you can do, I mean."

The smile he gives you is the epitome of love itself, and now you're not quite sure how to handle the messy situation without pulling out the rug underneath Harry's feet. All you can do is squeeze his shoulder with a guilty smile, promising to talk about it again after dinner.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Luna Lovegood

"Of course. Worms are lovely, don't you think?" she says with a dreamy smile. You gape at how easily the answer could be pried from your girlfriend; no questions asked. But then again, it's not like you hadn't expected this exact outcome already.

"Really?"

"Mhm," comes her gentle hum as she begins to stir her honeyed chamomile tea. A soft smile stays glued on her features, as if she's enjoying the conversation. "What kind of worm would you like to be, (y/n)?"

"I haven't really thought about it that far," You admit. "Are you sure, though? We won't be able to hold hands or anything like that."

You can't tell if you had just imagined the almost-frown tugging on her lips, because when she looks back up at you again, her sweet signature Luna smile is back in its place. "I suppose you're right. But I could carry you around everywhere with me. Wouldn't that be lovely?"

"It would be," you nod. "but can a worm even fit into that pocket of yours?" you question, noticing how hers are stuffed with unknown items; blades of grass sticking out ever so slightly. Flowers, perhaps.

"Oh, there's nothing to worry about. See?" she pulls out a couple of daisies and fairy foxgloves to reveal a now empty pocket. "Now, would you like some tea?"

You eagerly join her on the table, snuggling against your girlfriend ever so slightly as you both begin to talk about your day. The entire worm ordeal is slowly slipping out of your mind already.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Neville Longbottom

Neville stops in his tracks at your question, taking a moment to toss the idea back and forth in his mind before he can give you a proper answer. You nearly giggle when his face scrunches up, brows knit and lips parted as he innocently asks, “But why would you turn into a worm?”

"Neville, love, no. It's a hypothetical question."

His entire body relaxes at this, releasing what you assume is a breath of relief. "Oh. I thought you were being serious for a moment there."

You shake your head with a giggle, taking a step closer to adjust the scarf around your boyfriend's neck. "I'm just curious is all. Would you still love me, then?" you ponder.

"Yes! Of course!" comes his instant reply, hands balled up into fists that match the determination on his face. "I would get you a nice worm house with all your favorite flowers in it," he bends one of his gloved finger inwards, beginning to keep count of this hypothetical to-do list. "Would you still be able to have human food? Well, either way, I promise to feed you every single day!"

He pauses, only for a second or two. "Oh! And I'll sing you worm songs! Or maybe we can sing them together? I don't know if you would still be able to talk as a worm though."

You swiftly pull him into an affectionate hug, effectively bringing his rambling—as well as the entire worm topic—to an end. His hands sheepishly find their home around your waist, where he places them softly as if it's his first time hugging you. After all the months of being together, it certainly isn't.

"What was that for?" he dares himself to ask, avoiding your eye contact shyly.

"For being the most loving and adorable boyfriend I could ever ask for," you lean in to plant a soft, gentle kiss on his cheek. You don't miss the way he pulls up his scarf to hide the blossoming blush afterwards.

I have no idea why I wrote this either lol <3

🌷 draco taglist: @arossebyanyothername @kawaii-angelanne @thefandomplace @yuosmi @bbeauttyybbx @mywellspringoflife @slytherinsunrise @avatarbeeb @scarlet-says-hi @lunars @coldlilheart @beiahadid @justmimithings @soundsquid27 @youknowiloveyou-so @n3ssm0nique @ochrythum @explxsion @yaanasluv @autumnpleaves @booksmione @drxcomvlfx @the–queen-of-hell @aspiringsloth20 @runninglownad @snitches-at-dawn @badfvith

🌷 harry taglist: @teheharrypotter @badfvith

[obeythebutler]

Chaotic Love (Mammon X Reader)

Unusual is a fitting word to describe your friendship. He's a demon, and you a human. Mammon and you are the most chaotic pair ever known to the Devildom. From pranking to hanging out (sometimes literally) you two are the yee to each other's haw.

Everything is going smoothly, with fresh shenanigans taking place every day until a spark ignites itself between two best friends. Now, even eating ramen with Mammon at three a.m. feels like a date. Now, you both are finding it hard to have casual sleepovers, where his leg would be draped over yours, and you'd kick him in your sleep.

Now, you're finding love brewing in your friendship.

Part 1.

"I like my coffee how I like my soul. Black and bitter."

You roll your eyes as you hand him the cup which has more sugar and milk in it than coffee. Mammon immediately snatches it from your hand and takes a swing, and a smile forms on his lips when he finds the drink to his liking.

You actually gave him black coffee fit for Lucifer's taste once, and the demon spat it all out on his clothes. His look of disgust at the bitterness still makes you laugh when you reminisce the hilarious incident. A snort escapes as you take a sip from your cup, and Mammon shoots you a sour look, which unfortunately makes you chuckle harder, as you revel in the scorn your best friend gives you, an uncanny resemblance to when his mouth was filled with coffee.

After you calm down enough to quieten, the silence isn't broken until you both are significantly awake enough and your cups are half-empty.

"So what's the plan today?" You question as you settle down the empty vessel, and the demon brightens up immediately. You know he'll announce his plans whether or not you ask the question, but when you do, his voice takes an excited edge to it.

"The Great Mammon has a busy day! I've got some plans today!" He answers as he beams, an excited smile forming on his face as he downs the last of his coffee.

"I've got a meeting with the witches today and because of that I'm going to become filthy rich! They'll fall into the traps of the Great Mammon!"

"And you're coming along!"

"Obviously." You quip and watch Mammon fish out his D.D.D., checking the time before putting it back.

"You'll finally see how awesome I am!" He adds the last part as his hands card through his hair, which never seems to tangle.

"Awesome as in running away from debt collectors and colliding with me?" A deep voice from the doorway makes Mammon freeze.

Lucifer's strict tone has an immediate effect on Mammon, who starts quaking in his boots when he sees the first-born's scowl.

The dark- haired demon grabs his own cup of coffee, and when he passes you he gives an affectionate pat to your head, humming as he takes a sip of that 'sweet, sweet liquid' and walks out again, in a better mood than he was before.

Coffee really does wonders to even a demon, huh?

Breakfast is the usual affair, for Beel inhales his food and you've prevented Belphegor from falling asleep more than once in his bowl of soup. Satan and Lucifer bicker as they usually do, while Asmodeus periodically checks his face for any traces of extra makeup, or just to admire himself.(The demon pulled out a mirror from a pocket once, and from that moment onwards your suspicion that the latter is true was set in concrete), and Levi arrives late as always, to find out Beel has eaten his food.

Mammon flashes you a grin as he bites into his bread and you wink, for today's plans are industrious. Hopefully, you won't end up coated with egg or other foul substances, this time. Or have to run away from geese.

The walk to R.A.D. is short, and you and your best friend` discuss subjects ranging from his hatred of curses and hexes to superiority of cats or dogs. Mammon claims crows are the best. You're yet to see how.

Everything goes smoothly, until Curses and Hexes class pops up and when you're about to settle in your seat and pull out your notes to revise, someone becomes very insistent on poking your back with a pencil.

"What?" You hiss as you crane your neck to see Mammon fiddling in his seat with a look of helplessness on his face. Immediately, you turn around, and just as you open your mouth to ask what's wrong the demon beats you to it.

"I forgot to study for the test!" Mammon confesses as he stares at his textbook in bewilderment and when the latin doesn't make sense, he chooses to rest his head on the textbook, as if osmosis might do the job. You sigh as you shake your head, taking out the notes you made with Satan. This isn't the first time this has happened, but hey, you got each other's back.

Turning behind so that you're facing the white-haired demon, you chide him softly. "Of course you did. I warned you to study for it, didn't I?"

Your best friend groans. "Sorry." He mutters, already planning to accept defeat and another scolding from Lucifer. He looks guilty, and you can't help but open your notes. When Mammon sees them he beams, an adorable smile forming on his face.

"I knew I could count on you!" He cajoles, and the happiness that emits from him makes you raise an eyebrow but you shake your head and begin a quick summary of basic spells, one that will ensure Mammon passes at least. Thank Satan for tutoring you. Curses and Hexes passed smoothly, without having to not mutter answers, and not risk being caught.

After you both get home, the second thing you do after taking a shower is a nap. Because R.A.D. is exhausting and also because your collective antics wear you out. When your head hits the pillow, you sigh in blissful relief, the plushness already making you feel relaxed.

You chuckle when you remember how a demon was very confused on learning that all his pens and pencils were 'disappearing' one by one. They weren't vanishing into thin air, but instead being chosen as high-quality 'sticks' by a crow. The pens were shiny, and of course the crow would be attracted to them.

Mammon's always been attracted to shiny things, you reminisce as you finally drift off to sleep, a sense of tranquility washing over you.

Almost.

Because you can hear footsteps approaching and the door opening.

You pretend to be asleep.

You can feel the mattress dip under new weight as a hand comes to violently shake your shoulder. "Oi! MC!" Mammon's voice rings out loudly, and when someone's shaking you that hard, you can't pretend to be asleep unless you're Belphegor.

The scowl on your face is terrifying as you stare at Mammon through half-lidded eyes. "What?" You hiss, and the demon shakes his head before pulling the blanket away from your body. You try to clutch to it in the hopes you won't be separated, but you don't stand a chance against his grip.

"We were supposed to go together!" He whines, shaking your shoulders even more violently as he urges you to sit up, which you do begrudgingly, and gape at the demon.

You grumble. "Let me sleep—"

And you immediately shout in surprise because Mammon has literally swung you over his shoulder. You forgot how determined he could be when it came to his interests.

Your fists come to pound at his back in an attempt to make him free you. "Let me go Mammon—all right I'm coming, but for the love of everything that is unholy let me down."

Mammon laughs as he puts you down, and tells you to meet him at the entrance as he secures Goldie, so that his brothers can't reach it.

You regret this.

You wish you had stayed at home, wrapped up in your blankets.

Staring at a flower growing from a crack has become so boring.

Mammon hasn't come outside since an hour. The building itself is shady, but Mammon paid no heed to your words or concerned look, smiling and merry as he went inside with the witches.

The laughter died down quickly, and was replaced by faint whispers, which quietened down too. You've considered screaming for Mammon and bolting, but you won't, not yet. But Lucifer's number is on speed-dial, a precaution for when shit breaks out.

A text from Mammon breaks you out of your reverie.

Mammon: Hellfire naked.

Huh?

Your face twists in confusion as you stare at the text, as if gaping at the screen will make you understand the meaning of 'hellfire naked.'

You: Hellfire naked?

Mammon: Hellfire *snakes!

You: You want those for dinner?

Devildom has..particular ingredients when it comes to their cuisine. Like hellfire mushrooms and newt, or a boar leg the size of your torso. Mammon likes dried blackbelly newt legs, and scorpion in some kind of sauce. You would prefer sticking to desserts that won't burn your esophagus.

A scream makes your head snap toward the iron gates.

It's Mammon's voice.

He's never sounded so terrified, not even when Lucifer hung him from the chandelier for a whole day.

He's in danger. With a sudden burst of adrenaline, you run forward and attempt to open the gates, but they don't budge, not even shaking as you try to channel your meagre human strength into opening them.

A growl escapes your lips as you pull up your sleeves, and do the only thing you can come up with. Climb the gates. It's stupid, but it's worth an attempt.

So, with determination in your head to save your best friend you climb the iron, barely managing to reach the top. You cheer, giddy as if having climbed a mountain, but an iron gate is an impressive feat too.

But when you look down, only then you realize how tall the gate is, and what parts of your body would bruise if you jump.

Shit, shit, what do you do now? Your D.D.D. lies on the bench were you were sitting, and now calling one of the brothers also seems impossible.

But the glowing pact on your body reminds you.

Mammon, you close your eyes. Mammon, where are you? Are you okay?

You feel his answer in the back of your mind, even if he isn't speaking you can feel the message as you sigh in relief.

But your happiness is short lived, because the next thing you know is that the window has been shattered due to a figure slamming into it, and you almost fall due to the shock.

The blur of white-hair tells you it's Mammon.

Screaming, but it's Mammon.

"You idiot." You begin, numerous scoldings already threatning to spill past your lips at having given you such a fright and being the reason for your predicament but before you can even speak the first syllable, the demon has already climbed the gates like a monkey and is now standing on the other side. huffing and panting.

"How," You begin, eyes widening in disbelief. "It took me a hell lot of time to get here and you've already scaled it twice." Mammon shakes his head as he shouts for you to get down.

One look at the height has you reeling.

You mutter in denial. "Not in a million years, nope. Have you seen the height of this thing?" Mammon shouts in frustration as he motions behind you. "What?" You frown in irritation, and when you turn your head, a curse escapes your lips.

Hellfire snakes, more than twenty of them.

Goddammit.

You can't jump, nor can you let the snakes catch you, because they climb things quickly. But you don't want a bone to be broken too.

Hopelessly, you stare at Mammon for any solution.

The demons open his arms. "Jump!" He screams. "Jump and I'll catch you!"

Already, a noise of protest is about to spill past your lips, but when you see a snake coil itself around the gate, with a scream you're off.

The fall is short, thankfully, because you've latched yourself onto Mammon, who nearly topples over at the force you've jumped at him with, but sets you down as he shouts at you to run.

You barely manage to ground yourself, adrenaline still thrumming through your veins as you pocket your D.D.D., and when you see Mammon in the distance, you cry in fear, because the snakes are almost near.

You're frozen in place, shaking as a snake approaches, fangs bared and malice in its eyes as it prepares to strike.

But then you register someone's hands pulling you on their back.

"Mammon?" You whisper, and the demon grunts in response as he adjusts your posture, and instructs you to hold tightly, which you do, and in a moment he's off, scrambling with you on his back.

He's rushing through alleyways and passages you never knew of.

"I told you to run!" He mutters harshly as you finally escape the alleyway and into the streets, where Mammon ungracefully drops you on the ground, and you huff as you try to brush the dust off your clothes.

"I'm a human! I can't run as fast as you!" You retort back, fuming as you sit on a chair in front of a cafe. "You fucking own me."

Mammon says nothing, instead opting to pull another chair and sit besides you, sighing as he rests his head on your shoulders, and just when you're about to ask what happened this time, the ringing of your D.D.D. interrupts you.

"Whose it?" Mammon slurs, already half-asleep as he glares at the screen.

"Shit," You mumble. "It's Lucifer."

~

I'm very bad at titles and summaries, but I had to get this out today. The poll voted most for Mammon, and I imagine the friendship to be chaotic.

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Spooky Stories to Hold Them Close

Shinobu Kochou x They/Them Reader Modern AU

A/N:  I’ve got camping on the brain so I wrote a camp AU. There is a manga character mentioned in here but I morph them a bit to fit what I’m going for so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Please enjoy!  Shinobu: If there are any spirits out here tonight tell me, does this sound like Shakira? lolay lolay lo- 

Word Count: 4,821

It was summer again, and (Y/n) groaned as they removed their camp issued baseball cap to swipe at the sweat that had accumulated over their brow. Not even the cheap material could save them from the intense heat of the day. God, they would kill to be back at the counselor’s cabin to enjoy just a smidge of AC but no, instead they were out with the unruly boys of Cabin K, making sure that they carried out their punishment of hard labor after causing a food fight in the mess hall.

“Come on boys, those canoes better be sparkling if you’re going to be taking your sweet time like this.” (Y/n) called, fanning themself with their hat.

“There’s a spider in this one!” Zenitsu cried. “This is so gross, there’s no way anyone’s ever cleaned these before!”

“Don’t worry Zenitsu, I’ll get it.” Tanjirou smiled earnestly.

(Y/n) felt bad for that kid. He was such an enabler though. The others looked up to him and respected him a lot. Who knows how much better it be if he knocked their heads more often. But because of his soft and nurturing demeanor, Tanjirou was always getting caught up in his cabin mates’ shenanigans. Speaking of which...

“Inosuke! If so much as a toe goes in that water you’ll be at the craft table with the junior kids making macaroni art until the only color you know yellow!” (Y/n) warned.

A strangled wail mixed with a roar left the boy’s mouth, the sound didn’t even sound like it could come from a human being. It was like that boy was a feral boar. Given how he’s kept coming back year after year, he may as well be just that.

“It’s hot! I’ll wash the boat in the lake!” He yelled, pulling the canoe closer to the sandy beach.

“Inosuke I’m serious! Macaroni art! That, and I’ll call your mother!” (Y/n) yelled back.

“Damn you and your sick threats!”

“My, still at it are we?”

(Y/n) sighed, turning with a tight smile towards Shinobu as their fellow counselor came up beside them. They tried not to let their eyes wander too long over the expanse of soft looking skin Shinobu’s shorts left exposed.

“Yeah, and as you can see, Tomioka ditched me to go help Sabito with something.” (Y/n) huffed, returning a watchful eye over Inosuke as he dragged the canoe back up to the others.

“Oh, you poor thing.” Shinobu tutted, stepping closer to rub (Y/n)’s back as a sign of sympathy. The proximity brought the scent of sunscreen and damp earth to (Y/n)’s nose. It was an intoxicating scent that (Y/n) had grown to associate with Shinobu always.

“Yeah, are you getting ready for swim lessons right now? Tradesies?” They asked hopefully, mustering up the best puppy dog eyes they could make. They only succeeded in making Shinobu laugh though, which honestly, wasn’t a bad constellation prize.

“Mm, no, sorry. You’re not the only one wanting to get relief from this heatwave.” Shinobu pinched the front of her shirt pulling at it to circulate some airflow. A motion (Y/n) definitely did not follow with their eyes.

“I did grab you and the boys some water though.” Shinobu said, digging into the drawstring bag that was slung over her shoulder and presenting (Y/n) with four bottles of cold water. “And to think I purposfully didn’t get one for Tomioka and he isn’t even here to stare off into the middle distance. Such a waste.”

“You’re such a bully sometimes, you know that?” (Y/n) chuckled, placing all bottles at their feet except for one, “remind me to stay on your good side.”

“You’d really be on my good side if you came to the counselor fire after the kids turn in. The theme is Fright Night, sponsored by yours truly,” Shinobu winked playfully.

Immediately (Y/n) felt a tad ill. “Fright Night?”

“Yes!” Shinobu nodded, a small, yet very excited grin on her face, “it’ll be held at Hangman’s Clearing, of course, a full night of frightening tales and games by the fire... and delicious treats! Provided Mitsuri doesn’t eat them all on the way. You’ll come, right?”

(Y/n) wasn’t particularly fond of the supernatural or chilling tales of murder or other dark themes. In fact, it would be fair to say they loathed them. They hated being scared and this themed get together should have had (Y/n) running in the opposite direction. ‘Should have’ being the key in this situation.

Shinobu looked so hopeful, waiting expectantly for (Y/n)’s reply. It would be impossible to say no to that face. A face that (Y/n) looked forward to seeing every summer and was always desperately looking for an excuse to see as often as possible. It couldn’t be that bad, right? (Y/n) could handle a few spooks in exchange for hanging out with Shinobu all night. Yeah, they could do this.

“It’s not a trick question, (Y/n). A simple yes or no would suffice.” Shinobu teased. “Though if it helps sway your decision at all, it would make me really happy if you would come.”

And with that, (Y/n)’s fate was sealed.

“Okay, sure, yeah, I’ll come.” (Y/n) bashfully agreed, their heartbeat picking up in pace at Shinobu’s delighted giggle.

“Great! I’ll see you at the clearing at ten. Don’t be late or,” she suddenly latched on to (Y/n)’s arm, startling them, “the ghosts will get you!”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” (Y/n) laughed weakly. Their skin tingling from where Shinobu had grabbed them.

“I better get to the beach, the kids are getting antsy.” Shinobu said before proceeding to pull her shirt over her head. She was wearing her swimsuit of course, but still. (Y/n) nearly had an aneurysm because of the casual reveal. “See you later, (Y/n).”

“Sssseee you. Bye. Thanks for the water.” (Y/n) then made themselves busy by taking several sips of said water.

“Anytime,” Shinobu’s eyes traveled past (Y/n)’s body before returning to them with a sympathetic smile, “looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you.”

“Huh?” (Y/n) squinted before their eyes blew wide and they jerked their head back in the direction of the canoes. “Tanjirou, why is there a canoe in that tree! I swear I can’t leave you guys alone for two minutes!” (Y/n) stalked over to the boys and Shinobu watched their back, laughing as (Y/n) ran up to Inosuke and tackled him to the ground before he could scale the tree with another canoe.

***

Night fell much too quickly after a full day of scheduled activities and once all the campers had retired to their cabins for curfew, (Y/n) knew their time to mentally prepare for the counselor fire had run out. At least they hadn’t had to walk to the clearing themself, as they had bumped into Mitsuri and Iguro at the edge of the forest entrance.

Iguro seemed miffed that his alone time with the bubbly counselor had been interrupted but Mitsuri was all too happy to catch up with (Y/n) about their day as they walked to Hangman’s Clearing.

Soon the light of a fire could be seen between the trees and they met up with the other counselors who had decided to join in. Sitting around the fire, (Y/n) saw Kyoujurou and Tengen talking to each other while poking at the fire. (Y/n) frowned, wondering where Shinobu was.

“Boo!”

It took everything in (Y/n)’s power to swallow the scream that threatened to spill from their mouth as arms wrapped around them from behind. Instead it turned into a pitiful and embarrassing squeak. (Y/n) wasn’t sure which would have been better.

“Oh dear, (Y/n). Did I startle you? I’m sorry.” Shinobu released (Y/n) from her hold and patted their shoulder.

“It’s okay!” (Y/n) promised, not wanting Shinobu to feel bad. “Besides, that’s kind of the point of tonight, isn’t it?”

“Right! I’m glad you could come (Y/n). I didn’t know if you liked scary things.” Shinobu said as they followed Mitsuri and Iguro to the fire.

“Yeah...” (Y/n) replied, lying against their better judgment. They just wanted Shinobu to think they were cool, impress her somehow maybe. “Horror is.. great.”

“Is this it?” Tengen asked, leaning his back against a sturdy log.

“Yes. Gyomei is staying behind to keep an ear out for the kids, as are Sabito and Tomioka. Sanemi said the whole thing wasn’t worth his time.” Shinobu explained as she took her own seat at the fire, motioning for (Y/n) to sit next to her.

“Did you even really invite Tomioka?” Tengen snorted.

“Of course I did, but as you all know, Tomioka is a wet blanket so he declined and Sabito decided to stay with him.” Shinobu clapped her hands against her thighs, “Now, enough about them. Let’s get the festivities started, shall we? Mitsuri, you brought the goods?”

“I sure did!” Mitsuri cheered, taking the nearly overflowing backpack she had been toting off of her shoulders. It landed in the dirt with a heavy thud. “I’ve got s’more fixings, jiffy pop, chips, sodas, water, hotdogs...”

“Wow Mitsuri, you really went all out. How did you carry it all?” (Y/n) marveled.

Mitsuri flexed one of her biceps, smacking the muscle with her hand. “Strength, pure will power and an intense love of all things delicious!” She said, her lips curled into an adorable smile.

The counselor fire started out great. For the first hour they all talked and ate, enjoying the warmth of the fire and the twinkle of the stars, laughing with each other as they recalled the memories that they had made over the years.

But like anything else, the conversation dried to a slow trickle and most of the food had been polished off. The once hearty blaze of the fire was now a low flame with glowing embers. Shinobu took it as her cue to begin the main event.

(Y/n) blinked at the sudden brightness that flashed beside them. They squinted against the light and saw that Shinobu was brandishing a flashlight, highlighting her face for a moment before moving the light to cast shadows over the sinister smile growing across her face.

“Anyone have a scary story they’d like to share or are you all content to dive into the main event?” Shinobu asked, placing her free hand confidently over her chest.

“Oo! I got one, Shinobu! Pick me!” Mitsuri called, calling out in her seat beside Iguro.

“Alright, catch!” Shinobu tossed the flashlight to Mitsuri who caught it with an excited squee.

“Okay, so, um.. oh! Once, there was this girl who woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep. She decided that she wanted a midnight snack and remembered that there was still a piece of her favorite raspberry cheesecake left. A perfect creamy treat! She could practically taste it already.”

Mitsuri wiggled on the log, leaning forward in her excitement. Light from the fire illuminated the green tips of her hair making them appear to glow.

“So she got out of her warm and comfy bed and crept into the dark, cold hallway, thump thump thump, and down the squeaky stairs, squeak squawk squeak, until she finally made it to the kitchen.

Mitsuri reached out towards the fire with her free hand and made a motion like grabbing a door, slowly pulling it back.

“She opened the refrigerator door and then—“ Mitsuri slapped her hand down upon her thigh with startling force, “to her absolute horror, she remembered that she had eaten the last piece of cheesecake at lunch the previous day! There was no more cheesecake to be had, and she had to settle for confetti cake ice cream when what she was really craving was the cheesecake!”

Mitsuri shook her head sorrowfully, and Iguro rubbed a soothing hand over her back while she collected herself.

“The end.” Mitsuri finished, clicking the flashlight off.

“Haha! Good one Mitsuri. The emotion behind your tale made it feel so real!” Kyoujirou loudly proclaimed. Shinobu giggled from her seat beside (Y/n) who also couldn’t help but laugh as well.

“It was real!” Mitsuri said seriously. “It happened to me just a couple weeks ago!” she shuddered.

“I don’t know, that was hardly scary Kanroji.” Tengen shrugged.

“I’d like to see you do better!” Mitsuri pouted.

“I could, but I’d rather let Kochou get on with her activities. Her knee is bouncing. Impatient, Kochou?”

“Ha ha! That it is!” Kyoujirou laughed.

“I can wait,” Shinobu countered, her leg ceased its bouncing due to being caught. “Does anyone else want to share a story?”

A chorus of head shakes met Shinobu’s question and she shrugged, a sly smiling curling at her lips.

“Very well then, Mitsuri, the flashlight please.”

“You got it!” Mitsuri cheered, tossing the light back to Shinobu.

Shinobu clicked the light back on, her eyes roamed over her audience one by one.

“Have you all heard of the serial killer Douma the Cannibal?” Shinobu asked.

“Of course,” Iguro spoke up. “He killed at least seventy women throughout the 1910s until well into the 1920s. However, their still connecting cold case murders to him even now. Some experts believe he could have killed well over two hundred. A really despicable monster to say the least.”

“Very true.” Shinobu nodded solemnly, “His parents ran a cult, believing he was some kind of messiah or deity. They let him do whatever he wished. It started with the killings of small animals but quickly escalated once that had lost its appeal. We don’t know much of motivations, but it’s believed he killed simply because he enjoyed it. Famously developing a taste for his victims after he ran out of places to store them.”

(Y/n) shivered, clutching themself in a hug as they waited for Shinobu to continue. This was worse than any old ghost story, the girl beside them was talking about an actual person! Well, at least he was dead right? Right?

“He was apprehended right here in this very clearing actually.” Shinobu said, looking around at the dark forest that surrounded them “The mob hung him, strung him up in one of these trees, hence the name Hangman’s Clearing.”

(Y/n) swallowed thickly. Why here, he couldn’t be dead someplace else? And they made a fucking summer camp here, what the actual fuck? Suddenly the woods seemed much more sinister.

“He deserved it of course,” Shinobu continued with a sigh, “but just think of what we could have learned if they chained him up instead. There are still many bodies unaccounted for. But perhaps,” Shinobu turned to (Y/n), making them jump a little as her hand slid behind them to pick up a box.

“But perhaps tonight, in the field where he gasped for his last breaths, we can learn something from beyond.”

Oh hell to the fucking no. She was holding a goddamn ouija board and matching planchette.

(Y/n) felt the hairs on the back of their neck rise to attention. There was no way, how could they get themself out of this? Calling upon the spirit of a serial killer was not what they had signed up for. Everyone else however, seemed to lean in and stare with excitement at the prospect, even Mitsuri quickly hopped out of her seat to sit on Shinobu’s other side.

“Oo, oo! Shinobu what a good idea!” she cheered.

A good idea? Mitsuri, honey, what is wrong with you, respectfully. (Y/n) held their face in their hand. That girl had been their only chance of escape, but she seemed just as invested as everyone else!

“Thank you, let’s get this set up then, shall we?” Shinobu grinned.

Tengen and Kyoujirou pushed the logs around into a makeshift table and everyone kneeled around it. Shinobu placed the board and planchette neatly in the middle, beckoning everyone to place a finger on the planchette.

(Y/n) jolted to attention as Shinobu placed her hand over theirs, giving them a questioning glance.

“(Y/n), are you still with us?” She teased.

“Yeah, sorry.” They gulped, watching in dismay as Shinobu smiled at them and pulled their hand up to the board, curling all fingers but one and playfully pushing it against the planchette before placing her own over the wood. There was no getting out of this.

Shinobu then went on about how the board worked and what not, (Y/n) didn’t really listen, too busy trying to find their happy place and pretend they weren’t there.

“Are there any spirits with us tonight?” Shinobu asked, pulling (Y/n) out of their head at the most inopportune moment.

At first there was no movement, for which (Y/n) was thankful, but ever so slowly the planchette did move.

“K-Kyou, you aren’t pushing it are you?” (Y/n) couldn’t help but ask.

“Not at all my friend!” Kyoujirou heartily replied as the planchette continued moving in (Y/n)’s direction.

The fact that it was moving in their direction wasn’t the issue, but rather the fact that (Y/n)’s corner of the board had ‘yes’ written on it.

“Ah, a yes! This is so exciting!” Mitsuri wiggled.

“Nice, how flamboyant!” Tengen added, pumping his free fist.

“What is your name spirit?” Shinobu continued.

(Y/n) let out a shaky breath as the planchette moved away from them. Watching with dread as it skimmed across the board.

‘D’

‘O’

‘U’

‘M’

‘A’

Fuck.

“Where are the victims you buried in these woods, you worthless, demonic bastard?” Shinobu tensed beside (Y/n), concentrating heavily on the board, her tone was commanding as she demanded an answer.

(Y/n) would have found it extremely attractive if they weren’t already scared out of their mind. The taunting of a serial killer ghost was the last thing they wanted to be a part of. Especially if they were talking demons, (Y/n) was too young to die like this. Well, they’d never be at an age where death by demon possession would seem favorable, but that was not the point!

The planchette moved across several letters and (Y/n) lost track of what was being spelled out. Which was just as well, ignorance is bliss after all, right? They waited for the others to figure it out with bated breath.

“Follow the sounds of the woods and we’ll find the signs, hm?” Iguro muttered. “Sounds like a trap.”

“What does it matter? Not like ghosts exist anyway. This is all a part of the ambiance, right Shinobu?” Tengen laughed, laying back on his forearms.

“I wasn’t pushing the planchette if that’s what you are suggesting, Uzui.” Shinobu answered seriously. “But if anyone else wants to confess to it, by all means don’t waste our time.”

“I didn’t!” Mitsuri denied while Iguro shook his head.

“I didn’t either.” (Y/n) also spoke up, an undetectable tremor pulled at their vocal chords.

“Nor have I!” Kyoujirou boomed.

“Then there is only one way to know for sure that this is all legitimate,” Shinobu said, brandishing the small lantern she had lit to illuminate the board, “we break off and search the surrounding woods.”

“Break off? Like, search in the dark alone?” (Y/n) couldn’t help but ask for clarification. Couldn’t they all just head back to the cabins together and watch a movie on Tengen’s smuggled DVD player and forget this whole mess?

“No, not alone,” Shinobu smiled, looping her free arm through (Y/n)’s, “that would be too dangerous. Pairs would be better.”

“I’m going with Kanroji.” Iguro immediately declared. Mitsuri wiggled and clapped, happy to go with him.

“Guess that leaves you and me,” Tengen grinned, fist bumping Kyoujirou, “let’s kick some ghost ass!”

“Yes!” Kyoujirou enthusiastically replied.

“Great, then it’s decided!” Shinobu nodded, squeezing (Y/n)’s arm closer to her as she stood up, pulling them up with her. “Meet back here in half an hour?”

A range of approvals sounded and once they synced up their watches (since phones weren’t allowed at camp), the three separate pairs went off in different directions into the dark woods.

(Y/n) used to love these woods, coming back summer after summer, it was one of the things they looked forward to every year. It only took about twenty minutes for them to learn to hate it as Shinobu led them through the bramble and roots by lantern light.

“You’re being awfully quiet, something on your mind?” Shinobu asked after an owl hooted in the distance, startling (Y/n) a bit.

“No, I’m just,” (Y/n) made a vague gesture with their hands, “concentrating, I guess.” They finished lamely.

Shinobu hummed in amusement, “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. It is all rather exciting isn’t it? I hope we find something.”

“Mhmm.” (Y/n) forced a smile as Shinobu looked over her shoulder at them. It quickly fell from their face once Shinobu turned to face front again, guiding (Y/n) further down the darkened path.

(Y/n) had never been more tense in their life. They didn’t know if they were thankful for Shinobu’s commentary as they kept walking or if they wanted her to be quiet so they could hear any approaching threat. Whatever the case, they kept their mouth shut. Only answering Shinobu with one word responses, affirming or negative noises or just the shake or nod of their head when Shinobu would look back at them. If Shinobu thought it odd, she didn’t comment on her fellow counselor’s behavior.

After awhile, (Y/n) attempted to pretend they were somewhere else again. Still with Shinobu, but somewhere nice like an amusement park or a beach at sunset... maybe sunrise instead. (Y/n) was jostled from their musings when Shinobu stopped suddenly, causing (Y/n) to bump into her.

“Did you hear that?” She whispered, spiking (Y/n) blood pressure through the roof.

“No.” They squeaked.

“Listen.” Shinobu hushed, pulling (Y/n) down to their knees, they both crouched to the ground, listening so hard their ears were buzzing.

A snapping of a branch in the distance, the rustle of leaves.

“What,” (Y/n) swallowed, “what was that?” They whispered.

“Shhh,” Shinobu exhaled, covering (Y/n)’s lips with her fingers as she continued to listen.

It was quiet again, and as Shinobu gave up on listening and removed her fingers from over (Y/n)’s mouth—

“KYYYYAAAAAHHHH!”

A loud scream could be heard far off in the trees, then everything went quiet again for all of three seconds before (Y/n) absolutely lost it.

“Oh my god!” They gasped, clutching Shinobu’s arm tightly to their chest, their eyes wide and unfocused. “Oh my god, that sounded like Mitsuri! Oh god, oh fuck! Shit!”

“(Y/n)?” Shinobu looked at them, a bewildered expression molding her face as she observed their sudden outburst. She quickly moved to comfort them though, setting the lantern down to hug them, rubbing their back as it shuddered with ragged breaths. “Hey, it’s alright. You’re okay.”

“For now!” (Y/n) frantically retorted. “It’s only a matter of time before whatever got Mitsuri and Iguro come for us!”

“(Y/n), wait—“ Shinobu tried to calm them, but they just kept spiraling.

“Why did I agree to this? I should have left the second you took out that ouija board, but no! I stayed just so I could spend more time with you and now we’re gonna be murdered by a demon serial killer ghost before I could finally work up the courage to ask you out!”

“(Y/n)!” Shinobu tried again, speaking a bit sharper this time, forcing (Y/n) to look at her and hoping to calm them with her attentions. “Hey, we’re going to be alright. You’re alright. Listen to me, okay? I set this all up.”

“Huh?” (Y/n) weakly croaked.

“I messed with the ouija board. We weren’t really communicating with anything. I planned for us to split off into groups. We heard Mitsuri scream because—“

“Who’s ready to die!?” A loud maniacal laugh sounded behind them and a chainsaw roared to life.

(Y/n) screamed, otherwise paralyzed in Shinobu’s embrace. Their head tucked under Shinobu’s with their cheek pressed snugly against her chest as they waited for the chainsaw blade to tear through their skin.

“Sanemi, turn that off right now! Stop, damn you!” Shinobu yelled over the noise.

“Okay, okay!” the false murderer, Sanemi, turned off the whirring blade with a tisk. “I was only following your own instructions, Kochou. Why are you looking at me like I was really gonna... oh damn, are they okay?” Sanemi winced, gesturing at (Y/n) quivering in Shinobu’s arms like a leaf.

“Do they look okay to you?” Shinobu huffed, more angry at herself than Sanemi. She continued rubbing at (Y/n)’s back, trying to coax them out of their tight ball while Sanemi stood by awkwardly at the side, rubbing his neck and looking into the woods.

“I’ll uh, gather everybody up and take ‘em back to camp.” Sanemi eventually spoke up. “You have things all under control here?”

“Yes, please go. Thank you Sanemi.” Shinobu shooed him off, not even looking away from (Y/n) as she did so. As Sanemi lumbered back into the forest Shinobu continued to help (Y/n) calm down.

“It’ll be okay, you’ll be alright. I’m so sorry. It’s all over now. It’s just you and me and I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.” Shinobu promised. “Can you look at me (Y/n), please?”

Ever so slowly, (Y/n) pulled back. They were still visibly shaken and meek which pulled heavily on Shinobu’s heart.

“I’m sorry.” (Y/n) shuddered, closing in on themself as they looked away from Shinobu, “I ruined your event.”

“Hey, you didn’t ruin anything.” Shinobu spoke in a no-nonsense tone. “I should have noticed you weren’t having a good time.”

“I was having a good time at first. I just really wanted to spend time with you, I thought I could handle it.”

“You can spend time with me whenever you want; all you need to do is ask.” Shinobu smiled softly. “And if anything makes you uncomfortable I want you to tell me right away, okay?”

“Okay,” (Y/n) sniffed.

“I think we’ve spent enough time in the woods tonight.” Shinobu stood, holding her hand out for (Y/n) to take.

“Yeah,” (Y/n) chuckled weakly, accepting the hand and rising to their feet. Shinobu kept her hold on them as she picked up the lantern and guided (Y/n) back to the cabins.

Once they reached the clearing, the other counselors involved in the night’s festivities surrounded them, making sure everything was alright. Mitsuri gave (Y/n) a long, comforting hug while Kyoujirou squeezed their shoulder warmly. Tengen and Iguro shared a few kind sentiments and Sanemi grumbled out a sincere apology for scaring them so badly.

As everyone was turning in to their bunks for the night, Shinobu stopped in front of (Y/n)’s bunk as they were pulling back the covers, waving Tengen’s contraband DVD player in her hand.

“Hey, so, I figured you might have a hard time sleeping tonight. Would you want to watch a movie with me?” She asked.

“Yeah, I think that would help a lot. As long as it’s not horror anyway.” (Y/n) added.

“No, I’ve learned my lesson,” Shinobu shook her head making herself at home in (Y/n)’s bunk as she untangled the ear buds, “a romantic comedy is just about as far from horror as one can get I think.”

(Y/n) tried to give Shinobu her own space, but the small bunk didn’t leave much room for that and Shinobu didn’t seem interested in preserving her personal space anyway. Instead pulling (Y/n) to rest against her side after she set everything up.

“Are you comfortable?” She asked, finger poised over the play button.

“Yeah,” (Y/n) nodded against her shoulder, “thanks.”

“Of course.” Shinobu nodded, pressing play.

As the movie played they quietly made fun of it together and commented on the events as they transpired. Once earning Tengen’s wrath for laughing a little too loud while the rest were trying to sleep.

“You know,” (Y/n) whispered during one of the lulls in the story, “if you wanted to watch a horror movie with me some other time I think I could do it if you stayed by my side like this.” They bashfully admitted.

“Well, there is one coming out that I’d like to see this fall...” Shinobu informed with a teasing smile and (Y/n) scoffed lightly.

“I don’t like how quickly you came up with a plan, but I’ll look forward to it.” They said.

“Hey, it’s still a ways off. I hope to have several tamer dates between now and then.” Shinobu casually dropped.

“You do?” (Y/n)’s face grew warm, “With me?” They added just in case, making Shinobu giggle and nod her head.

“Yes, with you. So think of what you want to do for our next free day.”

(Y/n) grinned and snuggled further into Shinobu’s side.

Eventually they fell asleep while Shinobu’s fingers lightly scratched the back of their neck. She turned off the movie and carefully set the DVD player on the floor below. Then she curled up against (Y/n) and fell asleep as well.

[forsworned]

[♥] academyau!substitute teacher {renguko kyojuro x reader}

Genre: Slight Fluff, Comedy

Categories: F/M

Relationships: Kyoujuro Renguko/Reader, Giyuu Tomioka/Reader

word count: 2,538

a/n: this is a pretty long read, so read at your own risk of boredom. i guess it could also b classified as a "x giyuu" but the title is just way too long and kind of throws the main focus off. might turn this into multiple parts so let me know what y'all think! also this is just a filler for the requests i have rn i don't want to leave you guys hanging

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

"I literally don't know shit about history."

Giyu sighed in exasperation. "You don't need to know anything about history [first name]. The teacher already has a lesson plan and you literally just need to pass out the papers. I just need you to cover for a couple of a days because one of the teachers are out sick."

You groaned as you threw your head back in annoyance, pushing your feet up against the edge of your desk. Even though it didn't look it Giyu was practically begging you to substitute for one of his coworkers. And he almost never asks for favors.

Giyu ran a hand through his hair. "He's super picky with his subs and everyone he's had come in hasn't come back."

"So you're saying that I'm a good pick." You mused, with your head in your hands with an annoying smug look.

"Don't push it."

You scrunched your face in disgust. "I just really, really don't want to Giyu. Middle school kids are the absolute worst. All they do is make moaning noises and forget or neglect to wear deodarant."

Giyu lightly chuckled. Your eyes darted to watch his usually solemn demeanor melted away into a small smile which immediately disappeared when you caught wind of it.

He cleared his throat and continued to speak like nothing happened.

"Anyway, so you'll do it?"

You rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. I'll do it."

Giyu looked pleased with himself when he heard your answer.

"I mean after all, I do owe you like a million and one favors." You sarcastically mused.

Which you kind of did. Giyu was your childhood best friend and always kept your out trouble in the nick of time. Whether it was you getting chased down by the neighborhood cat, or when you got gum stuck in your hair and you didn't want your parents to find out so he quickly snipped it out of your hair with everything seemingly in place like nothing happened. Yeah you could say you were a bit of troublemaker growing up, but Giyu was like the older brother that always looked after you.

"I'm so glad you realized." He replied cooly. "Be here by 7:30AM. Don't be late, I already have enough on my plate and I don't need you embarassing me."

You used your hand to shoo him out of your office space. "Mhm, you can leave now."

"I'm serious."

"Yup."

He squinted his eyes at you."[first name]"

"Ok! I got it. I'll be there 7:30 sharp." You exclaimed throwing your arms up in surrender.

He smirked in satisfaction. "Good."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The morning air was crisp as the sun shone down on your blurred eyes. You absolutely dreaded waking up in the morning and despite that you still agreed to be here. Oh, how you hated that man.

"Good morning." A familiar voice muffled beside you.

Speak of the devil.

He was munching away at his raisin bread walking next to you in the most nonchalant manner. Typical Giyu.

"Shut up." You mumbled miserably.

"You know, you could be a little nicer."

Your eyes narrowed at him. Expression in full death stare mode, but Giyu was as cool as ever, and as always completely unfazed by your behavior. But before you could retaliate, middle and highschool girls were practically lining up to say good morning to Giyu, blushing like mad when he acknowledged them. You on the other hand, were getting the death stares and whispers instead.

"Must be nice to be the heart throb PE teacher." You teased, poking him with your binder.

Giyu ignored you as you walked into the building, showing you to your classroom. You ignored the stares of kids burning holes through your back as you analyzed everything. Tons of inspirational historical quotes lined the walls, pictures and signatures of past and possibly current students covered one single wall. You inspected closely trying to catch a glimpse of who the teacher you were substituting for. One person in particular caught your eye, and he was hot. With a capital H. But before you could look at the other pictures to confirm Giyu called you over.

"Miss [last name], can you come up to the front and introduce yourself."

You sighed as you approached the front of the classroom and watched as the students all stood up. As their whispers got louder, you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"Good morning class. I'm going to be your substitute teacher for the day as Mr.--"You glanced over at the desk and moved the plaque in your direction. "--Renguko is out sick today."

As the class bowed in respect getting their good morning greetings, some of the children could't help but show their disappointment. You noticed most of them girls.

"I'll leave them to you." Giyu stated, and then looked at the class. "And be good to your substitute. I don't want to hear anyone misbehaving."

They bowed as he exited the room and now all eyes were on you. You sighed to yourself.

I really gotta learn to say no sometimes.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

To say you were exhausted was an understatement. It’s not that you hated kids or anything, but they always just see to have so much energy and well, you didn’t. Not even a cup of coffee could save you right now. You watched as the clock above your desk ticked and felt yourself getting more and more sleepier by the moment. Your consciousness fleeting as you lie under your warm blankets.

The image of that fiery haired man popped into your head and your eyes shot open.

You totally forgot to ask Giyu about that hot guy!

You let out a loud groan, knowing that your timing was off because now he would most definitely be suspicious if you asked him tomorrow. The curiosity of knowing that man itched at your skin. You absolutely had to know who he was.

What if he was a high school student, or worse a middle school student who looked very grown.

You outwardly icked at the thought, closing your eyes and scrunching your face in disgusted.

No way. He definitely had to be an adult. Maybe even a teacher.

“The history teacher!” You exclaimed out loud, shooting your whole body up.

It had to be him. You smiled victoriously to yourself, mentally patting yourself in the back.

And you had the perfect plan set up to find out.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You had to have looked in the mirror for about three hours to make sure you looked absolutely stunning. Hair curled to frame your face perfectly, and make up subtle but very much enhancing your natural features. You rubbed your lips one more time in the mirror before smacking your hands to your face to wake yourself up. Giyu was not going to be happy.

The morning bells chimed and you were seated at the desk welcoming students as they walked in. You discreetly checked your make up in your compact mirror under the desk to make sure nothing was running and not a hair was out of place.

“Perfect.” You whispered to yourself, running a hand through your blow out. All this work for a man that probably wasn’t even a teacher here.

“Miss [last name], what are you doing here.”

You froze at the voice. Nothing could prepare you for the icy glare that Giyu shot down at you. It sent a shiver down your spine. But his glare melted right off of you as you glanced over to the man next to him. Your mystery man finally come true!

“Oh hello, Mr. Tomioka. It’s pleasure seeing you.” You smiled, standing up. You looked right over to the handsome man right next to him. His hair like rays of sunlight with eyes to match. You could barely contain your excitement. “And you must be Mr. Renguko.”

His smile as big as the sun. Scratch that. He was the sun.

Bright, beautiful and fiery. He physically made you warmer just being in his very presence. You could’ve sworn you heard simultaneous female sighs in admiration, but you were way too distracted by how utterly gorgeous he was.

“Yes, I am.” He cheerfully stated. “And you must be the substitute that was in for me yesterday.”

He took your hand in his and you could’ve sworn you melted at his touch. Finely calloused hands, indicating that he worked with his hands a lot. Not that his physique couldn’t already tell you how absolutely fit he was.

“Yes, I am. Your class was wonderful. I didn’t have any problems with them whatsoever.” You couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. This really was the man and it took every ounce of you not to pinch yourself to see if you were awake or not.

“So are you going to tell me why exactly you’re here today.” Giyu chimed in. This time his icy glare had no effect.

“Oh yes, I thought I was still scheduled for today. I never heard anything back from Mr.Tomioka so I assumed that I would head back in.” You lied right through your teeth and Giyu could see right through it.

He narrowed his eyes at you. “And I remember emailing you last night confirming that Mr. Renguko was fully recovered and ready to work again.”

You couldn’t see it but Giyu was totally spitting out venom with every single word he spoke. It was almost terrifying, but you were way too distracted by the glow of the man that was the literal sun right beside you.

As if the smile on your face couldn’t get any bigger.

“That’s odd. I don’t remember getting an email.” You innocently put a finger to your lip, and looked upward as if you were searching your head for the memory of the email confirmation that you definitely recall getting.

Giyu’s went from you to Mr.Renguko. And then it finally clicked for him. His shoulder dropped in defeat. He did not have the strength required to dealing with your shenanigans today. He turned around heading out the classroom, raising a hand to dismissively.

“Just don’t burn the place down.”

You gave him two big thumbs up. “You got it!”

"So would you like to observe the class since you're already here?" Mr.Renguko interjected. He motioned to the empty seat right beside his desk and chair.

You beamed at him. "Only if that's okay with your class, of course."

"Oh trust me, they are more than okay with that." He grinned at the students. Most of them smiled and blushed looking away from your direction. You sat there in confusion, but before you could inquire about what he said, he shot out of his seat and grabbed the stack of papers on his desk.

"Alright, class we are going to go over your classwork from yesterday and finish the rest of chapter six."

☆彡

It seemed like forever until Mr.Renguko had settled into his seat while he let his students work together on their classwork.

"I can see why my students are such big fans of you." He mused. You looked up from your phone and saw him warmly grinning at your face. This time you didn't fight the blood rushing to the surface of your cheeks.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well," He pulled out a stack of notecards and began shuffling through them. "I always have my students write their own evaluations of my substitutes and yours were outstanding. Lots of compliments about your appearance and how you carried the class."

Evaluation? Appearance?

Your jaw went slightly aslack at his words. The only thing that left your lips: "Evaluations...?"

His grin grew. Mr.Rengoku knew that this had caught you off guard but he continued. "Yes, I like to know what substitutes are doing their job and keeping my students in line and comfortable."

You were almost speechless. "Wow, you must really care about your students."

He smiled softly this time, and fondly looked over at his students working diligently and quietly together. "Yes, I do. They're kind of like my own kids. I want the very best for them."

Just when you thought you couldn't admire him anymore that you already did. Hot and caring? It had to be too good to be true. You pointed to the best teacher of the year awards on his desk. "I guess you didn't get those just based off your looks alone then."

He visibly blushed and chuckled at you statement as he rubbed the back of his head. "Nah, I don't think so."

You raised an eyebrow at him and pointed at the wall of photos and signatures that lined his wall. "That wall definitely says otherwise."

He laughed a hearty laugh this time. "I don't really think that's the case. Like I said I just look after my students like their my own. They really are my pride and joy."

It really was incredibly hard to not let yourself melt into a puddle in his presence alone. But before you could collect your thoughts, the lunch bell rang and students filed out to their homeroom's and handing in their assignments on their way out. Most of the girls shot you dirty looks before heading out as a way of showing their contempt towards you before the smiled at Mr.Rengoku who was collecting papers at the doorway. At this point, you literally couldn't blame them. Their teacher was a total hottie and you were practically stealing him right under their noses.

As the last student handed in their assignment, Mr. Rengoku closed the door behind them and approached his desk to set aside the stack of papers. He pulled put a box of tissues, picking one out and sneezed rather loudly into it. Cheeks were now a hue of vermillion and he slighted groaned while holding his head.

"You don't look so good, Mr. Renguko." You stated worriedly.

He waved you off. "Nonsense, I'm fine. And you can drop the formalities when were not in front of students. Call me Kyojuro."

You sighed as you fumbled through your bag handing him some cold and flu pills and a packet of vitamin c. "Ok, Kyojuro. You can call me [first name], but I'm going to need you to take these for me and get on home."

He blew loudly into his tissue before tossing into the trash revealing his very red nose. "I-I'm fine, Miss [last name]-- I mean [first name]. Really, I'm ok." He stuttered as he tried to collect himself and get up. Unfortunately, he couldn't hold himself up for more than ten seconds before collapsing and luckily you were there to catch him. He seemed to have been mumbled incoherent words as he laid heavily in your arms. You sighed as you slowly laid him down on the ground and reached for your cellphone to dial the one person you knew could handle this situation the best.

"You didn't actually burn the place down did you?"

You rolled your eyes. "No, idiot. Teacher down."

"Ah, fuck."

[vagrantblvrd]

Cannot stop thinking about the whole bounty hunter thing, right?

So.

The one where Din - Very Tired and Very Put Upon Din - is tasked with bringing in this Utter Menace Luke Skywalker.

By a very lovely, very terrifying Leia Organa-Solo.

“...Alive?”

He doesn’t get the feeling as annoyed as Organa-Solo seems that she wants this Skywalker dead, but it’s always nice to get a confirmation on that one. Cuts down on confusion/dissatisfied clients.

Din is mildly concerned at the long moment of silence that follows his question - the scruffy looking man beside seems to be as well -

“Leia, he’s your brother,” said scruffy looking man says, and which Din is careful not to show a reaction to because what is wrong with these people???

Organa-Solo sniffs disdainfully, and if Din wasn’t so concerned at his precarious situation, what with being in the New Republic’s seat of power and all the armed guards and such, he’d be out of there so damned fast!!1!

But.

Precarious position and so on.

“If you must,” she finally allows, which makes the scruffy looking man drop his face into his hands and muttering to himself about marrying into a family of dramatic assholes.

Organa-Solo doesn’t react as if this is something that happens frequently, and anyway, none of Din’s business, so.

Din - Very Tired and Very Put upon Din - accepts.

Because there’s really no other choice when someone in Organa-Solo’s position of power “asks” him to do his damn job, right?

And then Din and wacky shenanigans in chasing after this Skywalker guy, right? Hopping from planet to planet and just a little too late to catch him the first few times.

He almost thinks Skywalker is toying with him - but then that time on some dusty little planet somewhere where he actually sees Skyalker, goes after him where the bastard realizes he has a Mandalorian bounty hunter on his tail?

And the guy is like :O! at first, which is vaguely gratifying/kind of exhausting?

(Gratifying in that sometimes the reputation Mandalorians have gained for themselves is helpful in this line of work, exhausting because, you know, they have that sort of reputation and it’s just. A Lot sometimes.)

Anyway.

After a chase though a bus marketplace and so on, to Din’s frustration and what is wrong with these people, Skywalker is laughing at him???

Escapes, because of course he does, leaving Din in a predicament involving annoyed locals and an fines and such for the damages incurred in said chase through a busy marketplace.

To Din’s surprise, Organa-Solo tells him she’ll handle the fines herself when he calls her to let her know per their contract agreement - that he’s finally made contact with Skywalker.

(Also the part where he was arrested and apparently there’s a note in his file/whatever that if something like this would happen whoever arrested him was to have Din contact her or some other plot convenient reason in which Din wonders what horrible thing he must have done for luck like this. Also. What is wrong with these people???)

After Din’s released and goes back to chasing after Skywalker he makes the unpleasant realization that he had no idea what Organa-Solo meant when she categorized Skywalker as an Utter Menace.

Chasing Skywalker was frustrating as hell before their little meeting, but afterwards when he knows for certain Din’s after him?

He’s a nightmare.

Sets up obstacles and distractions in the way now, people coming up to Din when he’s this close to catching the bastard on some planet and being all soft and scared and in need of help a Mandalorian bounty hunter like Din can’t say no to?

Stories laced with tragedy or quiet sorrows and there was a man - nice young man - who said he was a friend of this bounty hunter who’d be right after him who could help. They don’ have a lot of money, but would gladly give what they do have to Din if he can help and it’s like.

He can’t say no to them, now can he? Not when he sees the look on their faces and hears their stories and as aggravating as Skywalker and this whole...nonsense to do with him Din’s caught up in, some things are more important.

And if Din catches Skywalker’s eye across that crowded marketplace and sees this odd little smile on his face, something to it that Din has to look away from like Skywalker knew Din wouldn’t turn someone in need away the way he should, because Skywalker is right there and Din’s a bounty hunter, well. That’s a thing that happens sometimes.

(The same way he’ll catch a glimpse of a hooded figure in black at the edges of a gunfight/shitshow Din gets himself into helping whatever person Skywalker’s tossed his way this time lending Din a hand before disappearing in the smoke and chaos once everything’s over.)

Thing continue on like that for a while until Din catches up to Skywalker on some planet somewhere. Tracks him to the ruins of what looks like a temple of some sort and they get ambushed by other bounty hunters hired by Imperial remnants and then it’s working together to not die horribly.

Trudging through the jungle to get back to their ships after wacky shenanigans and death-defying escapes and such.

Skywalker amused about something the whole time, not even putting up a fight or trying to escape, which is just. What is wrong with these people???

Skywalker just shrugs when Din asks, odd little smile on his face and laughter in his eyes and -

“Go to sleep, Skywalker. We’ll be at the ships in the morning.”

Which they do, and Din’s giving his a looking over suspecting sabotage or whatever because that would be just his luck after the last few days - weeks, months, however long since he was brought before Organa-Solo and her consort/husband/???

Skywalker’s sitting at the edge of the clearing they’d both used o lad their ships, sitting on a fallen log, face turned up to soak in the warmth of the sun and looking so.

Serene, content.

Like he’s not been caught by the bounty hunter on his trail after nearly being taken/killed by another set of bounty hunters and Imperial remnants and Din knows, alright, he’s known for a while that this isn’t his usual kind of job.

Never mind it was given to him by someone like Organa-Solo, just. Skywalker and the kinds of messes he stumbles into that Din inevitably stumbles into as well.

Din stares at Skywalker for a long moment, and sighs.

Annoyed at himself because something about Skywalker and his everything and Din is so, so annoyed at himself as he tosses the keys to the cuffs Skywalker’s wearing and walks away from the whole damn thing.

“Hey!”

Because maybe Din tossed said keys at Skywalkers head, but that’s neither here nor there.

Din doesn’t look back at Skywalker as he goes into his ship, sure as hell doesn’t look down at him watching Din take off, leave his damn bounty behind because he knows that would as much a mistake as having taken the bounty in the first place.

He contacts Organa-Solo, tells her he lost track of Skywalker and pretends he doesn’t see the knowing look on her face or hear the quiet breath of laugh before she tells him it’s what happens when someone tries to bring someone like him in.

Tells him he can keep what payment she gave him in advance, that she’ll send him the rest and good luck with everything else and that’s that for the bounty, perhaps they can work together in the future sometime.

He doesn’t trust it at first, of course, suspects a trap or some other trick, but as time goes by he realizes none seems to be in store for him.

And then he goes back to Mandalore, because he’s got a kid waiting on him, and also the whole...Darksaber bit and anyway, anyway, he’s got a lot going on in his life.

Months later, though, and he’s...somewhere...kid asleep in his arms and some drink or other in front of him in a quiet little bar on some quiet little world somewhere and a hooded figure in black takes a seat across from him.

Has this odd little smile on his face when he pulls his hood down, eyes taking in the tiny green gremlin of a kid in Din’s arms.

Din himself.

“You know,” Skywalker muses, amused about something. “I never did ask what my sister offered you to being me in.”

He says it like it’s nothing, like it’s normal for his sister to place a bounty on his head, to ensnare someone like Din to go after him.

No threats, nothing overt, but. She’d known he was quietly asking around about Jedi, and it wouldn’t take much to find out about the tiny green gremlin of a kid, and there’s no running when someone powerful as Organa-Solo has you in her sights. Better to swallow his pride and do as he’s asked than refuse outright for the kid’s sake if nothing else.

(But. After he told her he lost track of Skywalker and that knowing look of hers, the promise he’d receive the rest of his payment, she’d also offered to help him in his search for a Jedi, which. Yes.)

Din stares at Skywalker because really what is wrong with these people???

Din sighs, quiet little thing, and looks at the kid asleep in his arms. Watches him for a moment, always too much in his heart for a tiny green gremlin of a kid, and then he looks up at Skywalker.

There’s a moment, and then a quiet breath of laughter from Skywalker, so much like his sister’s.

“Ah,” he says, and then -

“I could help, if you’d like.”

At which point Din is like what, because the whole Skywalker is a Jedi, and also his sister is devious.

“...what.”

She heard about a Mandalorian asking about a Jedi and looked into it while Skywalker was gallivanting about the galaxy seeking out Jedi relics and the whatnot. Worried about her idiot of a brother and knowing full well he could handle himself, but still.

Idiot of a brother, but also idiot of a Mandalorian and it was her way of gauging what sort of threat Din was to her idiot of a brother.

“What.”

Sure, she’d heard stories that said Mandalorian wasn’t all bad, but still.

Bounty hunter???

Skywalker just laughs, soft and fond, like hey, no, sending a bounty hunter after her brother is just a thing she does sometimes.

Really though, what is wrong with these people???

Anyway, for reasons unknown to him and against his better judgement, Din goes along with Luke to some remote planet somewhere. The guy says he can help with Grogu, deliberately, infuriatingly, vague about the how of it, but Din goes anyway because he is, indeed, an idiot of a bounty hunter.

And then he finds out Skywalker’s a Jedi.

Skywalker.

A Jedi.

“Uh...I thought you knew?”

Din did not.

Skywalker frowns, clearly thinking back to all their encounters and wacky shenanigans from months back and has this “Oh,” moment, before he gets this sheepish look on his face.

Din carefully doesn’t sigh as he watches Skywalker, no.

“Yes,” he says, carefully pulling Grogu’s hand away from the leather strap across the front of his armor. “’Oh.’“

For the first time ever Skywalker apologizes, and Din is just.

He, too, is thinking back to their wacky shenanigans and all the grief Skywalker caused him and that’s when he sighs.

(What else is he supposed to do?)

“Can you teach him?” he asks, Grogu reachig for some flying insect fluttering by and Din keeping him from falling without a second thought.

Sees the way Skywalker’s face goes all quiet and soft, smile kicking up at the corner of his mouth.

“I can,” he says, like it’s just that simple a thing.

Din has to look away for a moment, too much in his heart at the moment, and Skywalker laughs and just.

Yes.

And then awkward flirting and overtures as Skywalker trains Grogu in the ways of the Force and so on.

Also?

“Do you even know how to use that thing?” in regards to the Darksaber.

Din would be insulted, offended, if they weren’t at the edge of a clear, blue lake, sun setting behind the temple and little Grogu tired from a day of lessons and babbling to himself in Din’s arms.

But it seems like something not worth getting worked up about - he’s learnig to pick his battles with Skywalker, Utter Menace that he is, something his sister wasn’t wrong about.

"Hm,” Din says, and lets Skywalker convince him into getting saber lessons from him, what with him being a Jedi and all, and very carefully doesn’t laugh as that would just encourage Skywalker.

And then, okay, then there are saber lessons and sparring and Skywalkers bright, happy smiles and laughter and Din isn’t completely useless with the Darksaber, you know. Manages to disarm Skywalker, pin him up against one of the old trees at the edge of the training ground Skywalker’s set up.

Utter Menace of a Jedi grinning up at him without the sly edge of the smirk that’s been on his face since they started training and little goading remarks. So it’s inevitable Din leans his head down to press his forehead against Skywalker’s, too much in his heart for him the way it’s been for a while now, and Skywalker’s quiet laughter in his ear and, Din thinks, it feels like home.

Also, though, also.

Luke deliberately avoiding awards ceremonies and other horrific events in which the Hero of the Rebellion is expected to attend and a very beautful, very terrifying Leia Organa-Solo contacts Din to task him with bringing her Utter Menace of a brother in to accept the honors to be bestowed upon him, he can’t keep running away like this. Please, Din.

“...Alive?” Din asks, because the clarification is important.

Leia gives Din a look that says she honestly doesn’t care at this point, but it’s become something of a joke between them.

More so when he hears Solo yelling a reminder from somewhere behind Leia that Luke is her brother, and the frustration on her face melts away.

“If you must,” she says, smile on her face so much like her brother’s.

Din, fond/terrified of Leia as he is, accepts. Tracks his Utter Menace down to some remote planet and the Jedi ruins he’s poking through and is like.

“Do you want to know how much your sister offered me to bring you in this time?”

Skywalker shugs, but there’s a quirk to his mouth Din recognizes as trouble.

“Do you want to hear my counter-offer, instead?”

Trouble, the way knew Din it would be, because Skywalker’s walking - stalking - towards him.

“No,” Din says, because he can’t be bought so easily, but then there’s Luke in front of him, confident and easy and natural as anything to let him get so close.

Luke’s smile slides into a smirk - Utter Menace - and the smugness is not endearing at all.

At all.

Stop looking at him like that. >:(((((((((((((((

(Din still brings Luke back, because Leia, but it takes a while. Because reasons.)

[orangeoctopi7]

Buzzfeed Unsolved: The Suspicious Crash of Stanley Pines

The theme for @stanuary week 3 is Crime... what about... TRUE CRIME? I started watching Buzzfeed Unsolved this last summer, so I’ve been wanting to do something like this.

If you don’t watch Buzzfeed Unsolved, this is probably gonna seem like a lot of rambling.

On the morning of July Fourth, 1982 in the sleepy logging town of Gravity Falls, Oregon, there was a firey explosion that wasn't part of the fireworks and festivities. A car had gone over the edge of the town's famed floating cliffs.

"Floating cliffs?" Shane asked

"They're like, giant overhangs. They're not just floating up in the middle of the air like Pandora or something." Ryan explained, showing Shane a photo on his phone.

"Oh, that's pretty."

"It is really pretty."

"What a beautiful place for a car to careen over a cliff."

Ryan cracked up.

"You get a lovely view as you plummet to your death." Shane imagined.

Between 6:15 and 6:20 PM, the Gravity Falls Police Department received six separate calls reporting seeing a yellow car in flames drive off the edge of the cliff and crash to the valley below.

When investigators arrived on the scene, they found the remains of a crushed and burnt 1971 Subaru DL Coupe. The police report notes finding that the brakes were cut, and evidence of gasoline being poured into the driver’s seat to start the fire. Strangest of all, no body was found in or around the crash, only a few burnt strands of hair.

“So, right off the bat, real suspicious.” Shane commented.

“Yeah, and it only gets more suspicious from here.” Ryan assured his co-host.

“And I’m assuming there’s no chance that they guy, y’know, got up and walked away from the crash?” 

“Oh, no, no way. You saw the picture of the cliffs.”

“Oh yeah, no way.”

“There’s no way anyone in the car would have survived that fall.”

“And it was on fire.”

“And it was on fire.”

Despite the lack of a body, the police determined from the few burnt strands of hair and an anonymous tip they received at 6:15 PM on the day of the crash, the driver of the car was one Stanley Pines, a 31 year old man from Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey. Allegedly, he had been coming to Gravity Falls, Oregon to visit his twin brother, Stanford, who lived just a ten minute drive from the cliff Stan’s car had driven off.

“Wait, wait, wait--” Shane interrupted Ryan’s explanation, “Twin brothers. Named Stanley and Stanford.”

“Yeah.”

“Who the f___ names their kids like that?”

“I know, right?”

“Were they identical twins?”

“Uh, I couldn’t find anything saying they were definitely genetically identical, but, uh, with the way this case goes, it’s safe to assume they were identical enough.”

“Yikes, I feel sorry for them growing up, can you imagine how often people got them mixed up?”

“Yeah, but imagine the kinds of shenanigans they must have gotten up to!”

“Oh, that’s true. There would have been plenty of shenanigans. Lots and lots of shenanigans.”

“If you had twins, would you give them cutesy twin names?” Ryan asked.

“No.” Shane answered firmly.

“I think I’d just do like, alliterative names. Nothing too similar.” 

“Yeah, no I think twins probably have to deal with enough confusion bull___ without having to throw similar names or the same initials into the mix.”

“Interestingly enough…” Ryan started.

“Yeah, I’m guessing from your comments that the twin thing plays into this.”

When interviewed by the police, Stanford claimed his brother never arrived at his house. However, testimonies of other townsfolk reported seeing a red 1967 El Diablo with a distinctive “STNLYMBL” vanity license plate driving up the road to Stanford’s house earlier that winter. The house is out in the woods, isolated from the rest of the town, so no one would drive up that way unless they were going to see the cabin.

“Well what if they just wanted to take a walk out in the woods?” Shane countered.

“It was in early February.” 

“Snowshoeing.”

“In a blizzard.”

“Ok, you do not have a weather report for the exact day they saw this car!”

“Two of the testimonies mention there was a snow storm that day. Plus, the license plate says STANLEY MOBILE.”

“Well, Stanley is a fairly common name.”

“You-you’re just being contrary to bug me now, aren’t you?” Ryan accused.

Shane just grinned.

What’s more, that same red El Diablo was the car Stanford now drove. 

“What!?” Shane laughed with disbelief for a moment before putting on a mocking tone. “Uh, yeah, he never showed up, but, uh, I have his car. I’m still driving it. Y’know, seemed like a waste to just let it sit in the driveway.”

“He didn’t even change the license plate.” Ryan added.

“Oh, of course not!” Shane said sarcastically. “Why go through all that trouble?”

Upon further inspection, the car that crashed was registered to Stanford, and had been reported totaled almost seven years prior.

“It’s interesting that they say it was totaled.” Ryan commented. “Because totalled just means that the damage is more expensive to fix than the car is worth, so it could have still been drivable.”

“And if you’re trying to fake a car crash, what better to use than an already worthless car?” Shane agreed. 

“Exactly.”

Stanley Pines was declared dead by auto accident and the case was closed in September of 1982, due to lack of evidence and quote: “A lack of interest from the involved parties”.

“A lack of interest from the involved parties!? What the h___ does that even mean?” Shane asked in bewilderment.

“It’s odd, to be sure.”

It’s when we look into the background of the presumed dead Stanley, and his brother Stanford, that this case becomes truly bizarre. 

Stanley Pines left home at the age of 17, and had brief but unsuccessful careers as an amature prize fighter and as a salesman, before he turned to a life of crime. Prior to his reported death, he had been in prison five times, in three different countries, and had lived under at least eight different assumed names, with several others that were never confirmed. He had known ties to the mob and drug cartels.

“Quite the shady character. That might explain why the police didn’t look too closely into his ‘death’.” Shane put air quotes around “death”.

“Well, does it? I mean, if they thought his death might have been related to the mob…” Ryan argued.

“They know better than to mess with the mob, even in Oregon.”

“I mean, we have seen in several past True Crime episodes, what can happen if you mess with the mob.”

“Oh yeah.”

“You don’t wanna do it.”

“Nope.”

His brother Stanford was no less strange. He was born with fully-functional polydactyly, meaning he had six fingers on each hand. It’s worth noting that after 1982, Stanford no longer had 6 fingers. He claims that he had them surgically removed, because, quote: “I was sick of people staring.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Shane said doubtfully.

“You don’t believe that explanation?”

“Let’s just say I find it highly suspect.”

Stanford was also a certified genius, graduating with the most PhDs Backupsmore University had ever awarded. As a graduate student, he worked as a researcher and inventor for the US Government. Some sources say he worked on top-secret experiments. 

In 1975, he received a $100,000 research grant, which he used to move to Gravity Falls and become a Paranormal Researcher. When he arrived in Gravity Falls, he was the subject of many rumors throughout the town, due to his reclusive nature and strange area of study. 

“Oh, so this guy was basically you.” Shane pointed out.

“He’s basically me if I didn’t have you.” Ryan agreed.

“Awww, that’s sweet!” Shane placed a hand over his heart.

Many residents reported seeing strange lights coming from Stanford’s home in the woods starting almost as soon as he moved in, as well as strange sounds.

“Well, it seems like Gravity Falls is a pretty small town. People gossip.” Shane reasoned.

“Ok, yeah, but people gossip about who’s cheating on who, or what business secretly sells drugs out the back. They don’t gossip about strange lights coming out of the new neighbor’s basement.”

“They could. It’s gossip. Gossip can be about anything.”

Reports of the lights stopped in late January of 1982. Just four months later, in March, Stanford began opening up his home for tours, and in a matter of weeks, transformed his home into a tourist stop called the “Murder Hut.”

“Oh my g__.” Shane stifled a laugh. “A little on the nose there, don’t you think?”

“He did rename it to the Mystery Shack about a year later.”

“Hmm, yeah I wonder why?” Shane asked facetiously. 

Stanford also exhibited paranoid behavior on several occasions before the crash, especially in the early months of 1982.

One local reported seeing Stanford screaming “No it isn’t, you creeps! I can see you just fine!” down an alleyway. Several other eyewitnesses reported seeing him fall out of his seat at the Triple Digits Truck Stop Diner on Route 14 and scream for something to “get out of his mind” before fleeing the building.

“So, he definitely seemed to think something was out to get him.” Ryan commented.

“Not the words of a sane man.”

“Unless something really was out to get him.”

“Eeeeh, even then…” Shane wiggled his hand in a so-so motion. 

Dan Corduroy, one of the few people who had regular contact with Stanford before he opened the Mystery Shack, had this to say about the sudden change from research lab to tourist trap:

“Oh, he’s definitely been acting differently. He was really shy before, hard to talk to even. He seemed uncomfortable spending a lot of time with people. I’d invite him over to one of my family’s cabins to visit, but he only ever wanted to visit the haunted one while we were all out of town. I’d say it was a good change, though. It wasn’t good for him to be alone all the time like that. I’m glad he’s finally spending time with other people.”

“He only wanted to visit our haunted cabin.” Shane repeated with disbelief. “Hey, do you wanna come over to visit one of our cabins?” He put on a voice. “Uh, that depends, what kind of cabins have you got?’ ‘Well there’s one by the lake, one with a nice view of the valley, and one that’s haunted.’ ‘Oh, I’ll take the haunted one!”

“What gets me is he only wanted to visit the haunted cabin while everyone else was out of town. We’ve stayed in our fair share of haunted places, and it was bad enough staying overnight, just me and you, but there is nothing that could convince me to spend the night in one of those places all by myself.”

“I mean, I’m pretty sure none of the places we’ve been to have actually been haunted, but I see what you mean. It’s not fun to go to a haunted house by yourself. It’s kinda boring.”

“Um, we’re not gonna get into this discussion now, because we still haven’t even gotten to the theories yet, but you’re wrong.”

The case came to light again in August of 2012, when Federal agents arrested Stanford Pines, and detained him for several hours for questioning. By the next day, he had been released, and officials stated that his arrest had been due to a false lead. What exactly that false lead was, however, was never stated.

Now that we’ve gone over the extensive background of this case, let’s get into the theories of what really happened that 4th of July in 1982.

Theory #1: The theory put forth by the police, that Stanley Pines died in a fiery car accident.

“So then how do they explain what happened to the body?” Shane asked.

“It doesn’t say.” Ryan.

“And why were the breaks cut?”

“No explanation given.”

“That’s a stupid theory, those cops ought to be fired.”

Ryan stifled a laugh. “You’re not wrong.”

Theory #2: That Stanley killed his brother, made it look like his own death, and took over his brother’s life. This would explain the loss of his extra fingers, the sudden change in behavior that led him to open up the Mystery Shack, and his sudden acquisition of Stanley’s car. It does not, however, explain the lack of a body in the crash.

“He could have disposed of his brother’s body somewhere else, and then just like, left an ice block on the gas pedal and let the car run itself off the cliff.” Shane theorized.

“That’s possible. I was also thinking, maybe the body was gone. Maybe Stanley didn’t necessarily kill Stanford, maybe they met up in the woods, Stanford got eaten by a bear, and Stanley, who was already in trouble with the mob, took advantage of the situation, and faked his own death.”

“How--why did you work your fear of bears into this?” 

“That’s just my variation on this theory.”

“Then why all the secrecy? Why not say that he was the one who got eaten by the bear? Why fake the car crash and then say his brother never showed up?”

“Because if the mob knew he’d talked to his brother before he died, maybe they’d come question him?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s a possibility.”

Theory #3: That Stanford killed Stanley and made it look like an accident. People who support this theory say the psychological trauma and guilt of killing his own brother may have driven Stanford to change his appearance and behavior to more closely resemble that of his dead brother.

“That’s… kind of a stretch.” Shane said slowly. “I feel like, Occam's Razor, theory 2 is more plausible.”

“What makes you say that one’s more plausible?”

“I dunno, just saying ‘He killed his brother and took his place’ seems a lot more likely than ‘The other brother killed him and the guilt drove him to act like his brother. I don’t think that’s how psychology works.”

Theory #4: Both brothers are still alive. Stanley, on the run from the mob, came to his brother Stanford for help. Meanwhile, Stanford was worried about someone or something that was out to get him. They came to a solution that would solve both their problems: switching places. They would fake Stanley’s death, throwing the mob off of Stanley’s trail. Then, Stanley would take Stanford’s place in the public eye, while Stanford went into hiding.

This theory is supported by photos that surfaced on Facebook in 2012. Several photos of Gravity Falls after a series of earthquakes did extensive damage to the town show what is supposed to be Stanford. However, another man that looks just like him is seen standing in the background. Interestingly enough, both mens’ hands are obscured in all of these photos. 

While the photos haven’t been analysed by any professionals to definitively determine if either of the men are Stanley Pines, it has been determined that the photos are not edited.

“Would the whole photo recognition software even work on identical twins?” Ryan wondered.

“I don’t think so?” Shane answered unsurely. “I mean, my Facebook facial recognition auto-tag doesn’t even recognize my mom half the time, so I wouldn’t be surprised if twins throw it off.”

“Just looking at some of these photos yourself, what do you think?” Ryan handed a few print-outs from his folder to Shane.

“Oh wow, yeah, they do look alike.” Shane nodded. “Alright, yeah, I’m convinced. We solved it, guys! Video over!”

“We actually do have one more theory.” Ryan informed him.

Theory #5: Stanford was abducted by aliens.

“Oh for f___’s sake--” Shane threw his hands up in frustration. “We have four perfectly good, plausible explanations, and you have to throw that in!”

“This one actually does have some evidence behind it.”

“Bull____, but go on.”

Stanford was a professional paranormal researcher. Although he was very secretive about his research, even to his grant committee, some of his research notes do list looking for proof of ancient aliens visiting the valley before European contact. Could it be the thing he was afraid of was aliens?

“... That’s it?” Shane asked. “When you said this one actually had some evidence behind it, I thought you meant there was a UFO sighting in the same area around the same time.”

“The negative space between the floating cliffs kinda looks like a UFO” Ryan pointed out.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean a random researcher in the 80’s was abducted by aliens! That’s like, if I found a ransom note for you in the office, but I said ‘Well, Ryan was afraid of bears. Bears used to live in California, there’s one on the state flag outside our building. He must have been eaten by a bear.’ That’s the kind of leap in logic we’re talking about!”

Was this a case of fratricide? Or is this the longest and most elaborate twin switch of all time? For now, this case remains… UNSOLVED.

 * * *

“It was really hard for me to stay on topic while I was researching this one.” Ryan admitted as they wrapped things up. “There is a lot of weird stuff related to Gravity Falls, we should go there for an episode one of these days.”

“I’d love to do that, it looks like a beautiful place to visit.” Shane agreed. “Are you sure you wanna do that though? It seems like the place is crawling with haunted cabins and bears.”

“Well, one could argue this entire series is about me conquering my fears, so… Why not?”