#I wonder if I should try to get into the FFXIV RP community here

[cheerfulfool]

I’m probably not even gonna be here today, FFXIV patch 5.3 dropped 

[lunar-rose-academy]

How 2 RP

EDIT: I have edited the post a bit, since i looked it over and got some feedback from RPers. And i can now see that the original post was a bit unfriendly towards a certain group. That was not my intention to come over at all and i apologize if i offended some people that way. Here is hoping that the updated part is more neutral and appealing to those who want to start RP.

Introduction:

Hello everyone! My name is Masao, and i wanted to write a bit of a tutorial on how to RP. This will be in several chapters, and going over several things on how to make a character, certain terms,lore, handy links and more. If there is enough interest in this, and of course if it helps enough people, i will type and release more! If you feel like this helped you out somehow, or think that it can help others, please consider spreading the word, and getting this to someone who wants to set a first step into the RP world of Final Fantasy XIV.

Chapter 1: Where do i start?

Welcome to the guide on how to RP. You are probably wondering right now: Where do i even begin? Well, with this guide, we hope to get you started a bit. 

So when it comes to RP, you roleplay a whole another character. Some people might be furrowing their brow now. As in, how do i even do that? Well, what i mostly do when it comes to mine, is:

I take inspiration from other games/movies/series.

Like for example...

Take Masao here. A Xeala who has been Reincarnated into a Dotharl. A grumpy man who has a hidden kindness to him. He does not know Eorzean well, but his favorite Eorzean word so far is ‘‘Fuck.’‘ Sounds familiar? Because its based off Geralt of Rivera! You don't have to copy a total character of course. You could take bits and pieces to mold your very own. When it comes to playing someone, there is only one super important rule. And that is:

Play what you enjoy, not what others enjoy.

When it comes to RP, there are people who may play differently from how you RP. This has to do with Lore.If you wish to know more about lore, i would suggest looking at this link. And people always look different to it. Some people might want to abide by lore without any bending it. Some might enjoy the lore bending by a bit and some might even not abide to the lore at all. Whatever you choose, is totally up to you, as long if you can respect the aspect of what ones chooses. When it comes to roleplaying in groups, its mostly give and take. But when you work together, and mold it into something, it can be super fun and rewarding! You could get character development, or even friendships! But stick true to your own believes, and RP with the people that find your charachter enjoyable. Because after all...

Its your character.

Now, when it comes to in game RP, there might be some terms that confuse you, or how to do certain things. Let me help with that! Lets go over the most important things:

IC: This stands for In Character. This means that whatever happens IC, stays IC. So if someone calls you a asshole IC, that does not mean they think that you as a person are one. Your own actions are the same, they are all bound to your character, not meaning you as a person would do that. What brings us to our next term..

OOC: This means what we are now! How i am typing and talking to you. It stands for Out of Character. When it comes to this, there is one rule that you must always abide to, no matter what. Keep IC and OOC separate! This is important! It's mostly important because a lot of people tend to mix them up. What you should NEVER do. What happens IC, stays IC, what happens OOC, stays OOC.

MRP/ERP: A lot of people have this in their search info. So let me go over some of the terms. MRP stands for Mature RP. This means that the themes that they RP, are meant for mature audiences. Think of like blood, murder. Like a mature movie or game. That is what you can expect from that. ERP...Well, you probably mostly already know. But let me go over it briefly. It stands for Erotic Roleplay, and contains well..That. There might be some people who are only focused on this when it comes to RP, if that stuff makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. You really don't have to ERP to get the best RP experience or whatever. Do this only with people you trust, or with your SO. Or don’t at all! Its totally up to you.

ParaRP: This refers to people who write in Paragraphs. There is also Semi-Para. Or Multi-Para. Some people who RP write long walls of text, or write very little. Everyone has their own style of writing. Do what fits you the best! Here are some examples.

Semi Para:

Masao walked through Gridania as the sun shined on his black scales. He squinted towards the sky and let out a little huff. Seems like today was going to be a warm day, but a good one for a adventure or two.

Para:

A sudden memory flashed before his eyes. A lonely house stood in a filed. It seemed abandoned by all local life. Masao entered the little shed and looked around. No one, as expected. He thought to himself. But in the blink of a eye, the shed caught aflame. He was surrounded by fire. Voices were heard around him. ‘‘You deserved to die.’‘ A voice rang out. ‘‘We should have never taken you in.’‘ Another one called. And as it all played out, Masao was suddenly back to his senses. Was it something from his past life? Or was it something that was yet to come?

Those are most of the things you need to know! Now lets go over some extra in game things that you might would like to know:

If you wish to make a custom emote in FFXIV, you start a post with /em. So for example: /em looked towards the Miqo’te and gave a little nod.

When your character talks, this is mostly done with ‘’. A example: ‘’Yes, i think a drink would be fine.’’ There are some races who talk in another language. This is mostly done with <’’> Or with [’’] So it would look like this: <’’I don't know if this Eorzean can understand me.’’>

A lot of people in FFXIV have a certain RP tag above their head. If you wish to turn this on, press the O button on your keyboard (Or whatever button you have bound to the Social tab. It will look like this: If you are in that tab, you also see a little text bubble next to your name (You only see this if you wrote something down.) You can put a little description about yourself!  To change this, simply right click on your own name, and select: Edit Search Info. Now, you will see some new options. A Search comment down, where you can edit your little description of yourself, and a dropdown menu that says Online, Busy, Away from keyboard and such. And down there, is the option Role Play! And there you have it! Now you have the RP tag next to your name. You also may be seeing a lot of people walk around. You can do that by pressing the / button. That was my chapter one of How 2 RP. I hope it helps you, and if you have any questions or need some more tips, let me know! You can either send me a question here, or you can add me on discord: Masao#2913 and i can help you there too. And just remember: RP might be a bit scary at first, but the community in here is so amazing and helpful, i am sure they would accept a new RPer with open arms. My tip would be to if you start with RP, try with One-on-one RP first, with your friends, your FC members, maybe even your lover. So you can get a feel for it, and so you can find out if you really like how your character is. Maybe you want to change something a bit, or maybe you even want to change them completely. Go what feels right, and what makes you happy. Thanks for reading, and i hope that you have a nice day!

[vierafication]

Last night around 4 am, I reblogged a certain post about "villainous rp" and added my own two cents to what had been discussed within it- mostly just venting about behavior I'd seen in the past. I didn't think much of it until I saw the next day it had been reblogged, and reblogged again, and again, by some folks who seemed pretty unhappy about what I'd said. I was told I needed to get a life, that I clearly can't separate IC and OOC, that maybe I shouldn't be writing at all. That hurt. I was irritated, then, feeling like I'd had words shoved in my mouth, like I was being purposefully misinterpreted. I typed up a clarification post explaining my previous points and pressed send, but it was seemingly ignored.

I talked with @damankjol about it later. He's the best, if you didn't know. And he rp's villains! I don't think he's a sociopath! He's very empathic and honest and understanding and cool, and he helped me realize that people weren't just angry at me, they were genuinely hurt by what I'd written. I went back and reread what I posted, as well as the responses, with a more critical eye. And... yeah. What I typed up wasn't clean, organized, or coordinated. I was venting and the tone that came off was irritated and rude. While not my intention, what I wrote sounded pretty fucking disrespectful and downright mean. And, frankly, my intentions don't matter, anyway, since I wasn't able to convey them properly. I just put some angry bullshit up on tumblr way too late at night, and I didn't expect anybody to even look at it, let alone reblog it- but I should have. Tumblr is a public platform and I should have approached my post the same way I'd approach any other one during the normal hours of the day. Thinking critically is always key, but audience is too- a vent post is a vent post, but I should have thought before I vented about a topic other people were sensitive to, and properly indicate specifics instead of vague generalizations. So, yes, I really wanted to apologize to anyone who that post hurt. I’m genuinely sorry. I should not have generalized like that. It wasn't even my intention in the first place. I was disrespectful and now that I think about it, incredibly hypocritical to boot. So yeah. I really am sorry. I respect @damankjol and @miqojak a lot as writers, and it would never be my intention to tear them down. Or anybody else, for that matter- rp only works when you rp with others, after all.

Once again, I'm sorry, and I hope you won't hate me for eternity or anything. Storytime and critical analysis under the cut.

One of my first, and worst, experiences in the ffxiv rp community was a good couple years ago. I was describing my character to a “friend,” and that character happened to be Lionnet Blodoint, my Ishgardian chirurgeon. Lionnet was not a good person by a long shot, to begin with, and from his time serving during the Dragonsong War, he’d developed quite a bit of PTSD relating to any and all things draconic. He hated dragons. He didn’t even like Au Ra. “Wow,” said the so-called friend at the time. “Your character is a nazi.”

“What? No!” I exclaimed. I tried to explain that he was NOT a nazi, he was just a traditionalist Ishgardian who hated dragons because they had been, at one point in time, absolutely hell-bent on destroying his home and everything he knew. I thought it was a pretty reasonable character trait to hate, or at least fear, dragons after serving in the Dragonsong War. The core of how I’d planned to develop him would be overcoming or at least coming to terms with his trauma, and no longer seeing it in every dragon or Au Ra he met. “No,” they said. “Your character is terribly written. They’re awful and nobody would ever want to rp with them. They’re boring because they’re so full of negative traits. They’re racist and thus, a nazi. And you are just as bad, because you’re defending them! You’re a nazi too!”

So yeah, they are NOT my friend anymore. But that whole convo really stuck with me, and I was afraid to bring out Lio afterwards- it took me another year before I actually began to use him in rp. And he turned out wonderful! His story became one of my favorite rp character stories of all time, and he had great relationship development and a happy ending. He’s still around, canonically, but I have a different main toon now.

So it shocks me that what that person told me about Lio is more or less the same as what I wrote in that post. I’m honestly dumbfounded at how I could just casually type that up and post it, when it draws so many parallels to the way I was bullied back then. So yeah. Huge hypocrisy right there. I swore to never act like that. And to an extent, I suppose I have. But that post I made was pretty fucking close- just directed at a vaguely generalized audience instead of a singular person and character. Maybe that’s actually worse. And I am sorry. I guess because it wasn’t directed at anyone but the void (even the op’s url doesn’t exist anymore), I just didn’t think about it. Which sounds like a lame-ass excuse, but... it’s true. I just wasn’t thinking. I was just venting. It’s really fucking with me that I could’ve hurt somebody so much completely unintentionally, to be honest.

So, what did I say- or, to be more clear, what was I attempting to say? What was my intention, and what wasn’t? I’m going to go over that now, more for my benefit than anyone else’s. Please note that I am not trying to make excuses or shove any blame elsewhere. I am just trying to clarify what I meant and address the issues that made my post so negative, for my own sake.

To begin, I’m gonna link this post by @lilac-memorials. It goes into detail about the trouble with “villain” discourse, and addresses a number of issues from a much more unbiased standpoint, far more eloquently than I could. Also, it seems to reference (the worse) parts of my posts at some points, or maybe I’m just paranoid. Regardless, it’s a much better post than the trainwreck that was the original one, and I agree with every bit of it. It also addresses the difference between a “villain” and an “antagonist,” which is something I attempted to go into but failed miserably.

Anyhoo. My post began with this paragraph:

Seriously. I do not trust anyone who refers to themselves as a “villain” rper. A character can take an antagonistic role in another character’s story arc, that’s fine, that works. It goes back to the “everyone is the hero of their own story” sorta thing. But playing a villain, only as a villain… what’s the point in that? It’s just someone roleplaying as an evil asshole that expects to be treated as stronger than other characters, expects to be feared. It reads like some twisted power fantasy. It doesn’t sound fun and it sure isn’t fun for the people rping with you. Like dude, calm down.

To begin with, yes, I am indeed a little distrustful of people who label their characters first and foremost as villains, before anything else. I am more suspicious of engaging in rp with them than I am with other types of characters, because I have seen some pretty crappy villains out and about and I just don’t wanna deal with that. Next, I go on to try to draw the line between a villain and an antagonist, and how I am much less suspicious of “antagonistic” characters than straight-up “villain” characters. “But playing a villain, only as a villain... what’s the point in that?” I ask. Very rudely. Insinuating that their is no point whatsoever in playing a villain. Which I didn’t intend to. But honestly, I don’t know how else that would’ve translated- I don’t know what I was thinking. I go on to describe this “villain” as somebody who is an evil asshole with a power fantasy, and how it ruins fun for anybody. Which can be read very easily as saying “all villains are like this.” No, they are not! I was describing the bad type of villain rper. The rper who “plays a villain, only as a villain,” and not as a character. Do you get what I mean now? The controlling, toxic, power-hungry rper that plays a villain as an outlet to be further controlling, toxic, and power-hungry, moreso than they ever could in reality. We all know that type of person exists. We’ve met them, somewhere. Sometimes they aren’t playing the villain at all, anyway. They’re playing the hero, or somebody else entirely. But here, I am just venting about that type of person. They are what my post is about. The key line should’ve been “playing a villain, only as a villain,” but it was shoved into a passive-aggressive question addressing self-worth instead of a proper sentence describing the difference between a well-written villain and a badly-written villain. And thus the post begins as if it had been rudely addressed to all villain rpers everywhere, labeling them as the evil asshole with a power fantasy, instead.

Next is: Anyway hot take but maybe the reason people kept trying to “redeem” and “change” OP’s character is because their character is boring af!

Yeahhhh, that one’s just mean. And, given the first paragraph, easily able to seen as an attack saying that if you are a villain rper, your character is boring af. They’re not! The op’s post is a little much, to be honest, and I guess I thought I was feeling spicy at 4 am. Now I think I must’ve just been being mean. Aurelia explains what’s wrong with the initial post here, though, instead of trying and failing to poke fun at it in that special pseudo-mean tumblr way like I did.

Lastly, Like, honestly! Play a character as a foil to another, play to fucked up ideas about morality, play an antagonist arc to a protagonist character, play a character who makes bad decisions. But don’t play a “villain.” Don’t play a character whose core personality traits are simply being cruel/evil. Don’t play a character whose sole focus is to kill npcs, be scary, and lord over other players’ characters. Don’t play a character who never develops or changes, and doesn’t facilitate change in other characters. Just don’t be an asshole edgelord. Don’t be flat and one dimensional. Don’t use rp to live out your fucked up power fantasy. Get therapy instead.

Honestly, I think this is the most clear part of my entire post, and also the worst, at the end there. I just am listing off behaviors that this figurative “bad villain rper” exhibits, and what offsets them. Play a villain that’s complex, had depth, nuance! I’m saying don’t play the “villain,” and then listing off what this specific hypothetical villain is. The opposite of deep and nuanced. The “bad villain rper” type the whole post is a vent about.

Then comes the dreaded “ Don’t use rp to live out your fucked up power fantasy. Get therapy instead. “ The villainous power fantasy. No, I do not think everyone who rp’s villains is like this. Yes, I believe there are people like this, who are INCREDIBLY few and far between, and if they solely use rp as an outlet to harass others both ICly and OOCly, that is bad! And maybe they should get help! And even, then, that was only half-serious! But therapy is a serious subject and I should have known better, and done better. Did all of that come off as intended? Hell no! Instead, it was the final nail in the coffin.

So! That’s what I was trying to say. Badly-written villains are a pain. If I had written up a post like I am now, with this long-ass thing, actually trying to be eloquent and clear. Not 4 am word vomit. This 4 am word vomit instead has gotten me to be read and interpreted as:

-being completely unable to separate character and player to the point where i think every villain’s player is a Real Life Bad Person and/or needs mental help

-saying all villains are boring because they’re not heroes, and thus are incapable of being complex and nuanced

-saying people who play dark/antagonistic characters are, in general, living out their fucked up power fantasy through them

-thinking that villainous characters are incredibly boring and just plain terrible

No! None of that is what I think! Absolutely none! I’m not going to go in and refute each of those claims, because, like I said, I’m not trying to make excuses here. But I WILL end this thing with what I do think of villainous characters and their players:

They’re fucking great, okay? A good story is made a gazillion times better by having a good villain in it, be the story a book, a movie, or an rp scenario. Well-written villain rpers are a TREASURE, and need to be appreciated! It is often harder to find rp with antagonistic toons, to begin with, and their players may find themselves getting shit on more often than others, which should absolutely not be the case. Characters that are complex and deep and nuanced are great no matter what their alignment is.

There ARE some pretty shitty villain rpers out there, too. And, in my own personal experience, they tend to be much more obnoxious than shitty hero rpers. A badly written hero will ruin a villain’s rp. A badly written villain may well try to ruin everybody around them’s rp.

Badly written villains suck. They’re the worst. And they make things worse for those that dedicate a lot of time and effort to crafting complex and cleverly written, compelling villains! Badly written villains are something I can and will complain about, just as well-written villains are something that I can and will praise. But I’ll try not to complain or vent on this platform anymore, to start.

And I do NOT blend IC and OOC. That’s the rper’s taboo! I will critique others who do it, though, which ironically is what I was sort of trying to do- complain about those specific villain players who do that. But anyway. If you’ve read this far, good for you! This has been way too long.

And. Please. If I do say or do something that hurts you in the future, regardless of what type of post it is, talk to me! Tell me what’s up! Thank you!

[zoe-goodfellow]

Zoe Goodfellow - Lawyer for the People

The Basics ––––

Full name: Zoe Goodfellow

Age: 24

Race: Hyur (Midlander)

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Pansexual

Relationship Status: Single

Server: Balmung

Time Zone: EST

Carrd: https://zoelaw.carrd.co

Physical Appearance ––––

Hair: Short, blonde hair

Eyes: Light blue

Height: 5 fulm, 2 ilm

Build: Petite

Distinguishing Marks: Freckles dotted on soft, sunkissed cheeks

Common Accessories: A book at her side containing notes and common laws for the major cities

Profession: Lawyer, attorney, legal advocate

Hobbies: Sitting on the beaches of Costa del Sol; polishing her social skills at events

Residence: No permanent residence at this time. She’s currently staying at various Inns while traveling (until she makes enough friends to crash at their place from time to time)

Birthplace: Ul’dah

Religion: Thaliak, the Scholar

Personal ––––

Traits –––-

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional Information ––––

Smoking Habit: No

Drugs: No

Alcohol: Yes, socially

RP hooks –––

Lawyer / legal advocate: Zoe is a lawyer! Who doesn’t need one of those? There are many opportunities for her to get hooked into various plots, be it business transactions, criminal defense, advisory services, public relations etc. Maybe your character wants to lodge a complaint against Gridania? Trip and fell in Ul’dah? Seek damages against someone who harmed them? Send a strongly worded letter to someone to stop doing something? So many possibilities.

Law Enforcement RP: Zoe could represent any of the criminals that the various law enforcement Freecompanies deal with in their plots. On the criminal defense side, I see this as a friendly, yet lightly adversarial type relationship as is common in the real world.

Criminal RP: Every criminal should have a lawyer on retainer; hire Zoe! I think this adds a whole new dynamic to crime roleplay, allowing more in depth schemes. If you’re part of a criminal FC, perhaps she could be a trusted advisor? Remember: she’s bound to secrecy.

Business RP: Zoe can work with various freecompanies and RP businesses to help them with legal, communication or pubic relation issues. Perhaps several organizations are trying to negotiate a deal. Maybe your freecompany has been slandered by someone? Maybe a night club has been getting harassed by a visitor? There are really limitless options as to how this can add more depth to the roleplay.

Mediation / Arbitration: Perhaps two characters are having a dispute on a matter. Zoe could sit them both down, hear both sides and make a ruling as to what the resolution should be so that they can all come to an equitable solution.

Whatever YOU want: If you think there could possibly be a role for Zoe in your character / FC plots, please do try to include her. I am always happy to RP just about anything, so the more the merrier.

OOC INFORMATION ––––

Hello! Thanks for reading. The reception I’ve gotten for this character thus far has been really wonderful. Thank you to those who have allowed me into your roleplay so far.

I’m really down for any type of RP, so let’s enjoy some together!

Contact Information  ––––

Feel free to reach me here on Tumblr, in game or on Discord memequeen#8405

Tags ––––

@ffxiv-crystal-rp @balmungrp @mooglemeet @crystalxivrp @ffxivrpdatabase

[finalvalor]

Okay I don’t really know why it’s so hard for people in this community to understand a pretty simple thing... out of the thousands and thousands of people that are in this community, it is rare, but there are a couple that lil old me isn’t too fond of. aka these people make me physically sick with anxiety among other feelings whenever I see them pop up - yes, it would be wonderful and amazing for me to just get over these feelings and feel nothing, as someone with anxiety in general that is The Dream™ but unfortunately it’s not that easy I will however try and be humorous even tho these people get to me pretty fucking bad So being mindful of my own mental health, I will promptly unfollow people who I notice consistently interacting with said people; at the end of the day, if you’re not a friend, we’ve never even spoken and/or literally our only interactions are a like or reblog here and there, I’m sorry but I will put my own well being first. And no, that does not mean I then have to explain to you or give you any details about why/who/what/where either. It’s my business, learn to mind your own. Saying all that, I hold no ill-feelings towards the people I unfollow, it’s never a case of “mE oR tHeM” black&white mentality that this community seems to be so obsessed with applying to every damn situation but saying that, I will always put my feelings and mental health over the demands of strangers on the internet, any healthy adult should.  A lot of people in this community have this weird twisted sense of entitlement, to other peoples characters, their RP, their time, even their friggin personal lives - do you guys act like this towards people you pass on the street? people you go to school with? work colleagues? someone you’ve known for literally 5 minutes? and does seeing what a person posts on their FFXIV blog of all things really count as knowing them?? I really don’t understand how some of you get on in the real world, or you’re just making it painfully obvious that you’re one of the people that think getting on the internet means a free pass to act and behave however the fuck you want without any repercussions or dealing with the responsibility of being a god damn adult. After saying all that, I can hear the feint distant cries of “well if these people upset you so much, why don’t you call them out?? let all the strangers on the internet know just how much these people hurt you??? Justify.” and the answer is simple; because I shouldn’t have to, for multiple reasons. Because you can dislike, or well, even hate somebody’s guts without slapping a label on them, without dragging them through horse shit and at the end of the day I understand that they’re human, just like me, we’re all emotional bastards that fuck up and are constantly growing, learning, changing, hopefully for the better. When it comes to interacting with other people, so many things are out of our control and it’s incredibly easy to point fingers at others, or even yourself, especially when you’re hurting. But imo the best thing I or anybody else in the same situation can do is try your best to be mindful, of what content you see, what people you surround yourself with, what sets off negative feelings, etc. whatever it takes to HEALTHILY try to move on and Get Better.

[safestsephiroth]

An Explanation for My Departure from The Riskbreakers, or: A Tale of Failure

This is my story with FFXIV to this point, an explanation of the current situation, and my plans for the future. The only person “indicted” or “called out” here is me. Should you feel the need or desire to contact me about this subject, and what I’ve written below does not feel comprehensive enough to you, please feel free to.

CW: extreme depression, suicidal thoughts

I joined Final Fantasy XIV against my better judgment. I hated MMOs as a genre. Paying for the subscription would, at the time, be a dicey prospect. I had plenty of other games to play, plenty of other things to do.

But I was lonely. Terribly lonely.

What I saw in FFXIV was a chance to play a game and make new friends. When I first got the game, the only person I knew in-game was @onwesterlywinds. But there was more than just that. I didn’t know anything about the community whatsoever. I didn’t even follow many Final Fantasy blogs in general at the time. I got the game at Livvy’s behest and specifically to play it with her.

I had never roleplayed in a game before. My prior experiences with text-based RP (except those linked to a tabletop game system, such as Vampire: The Masquerade) were universally terrible. Embarrassing. I had horrible associations with those memories. I was terribly nervous when I first RPed, and the first character I made in FFXIV, Blaetlona Isilmynawyn, was intentionally made in response to this and my general lack of knowledge of the game or its world. Blae was overwhelmingly cheery and optimistic to the point of obliviousness, which gave me a free out of any nervous situation, as well as being completely naiive about the world so I would be able to slide on not knowing important things.

I made more characters over a long, long period of time. It was a crawl, really. I gave each character tons of effort, plenty of introduction, and loved them dearly. But in all honesty, I was terrible at RP for the first year or two. Just abysmal. A bad RP partner who overstepped boundaries constantly because I was used to GMing games, making decisions about the game world to make for interesting plots.

I am embarrassed and ashamed of how long it took me to learn that lesson.

Over time, my connection with The Riskbreakers grew into a wonderful friendship. I did everything I could to be pleasant to be around - farmed gil I spent on in-game birthday presents for other company members, was a positive presence in /fc, and helped out with PVE content when I could - I was terrible and hated the endgame gear grind, hated the very idea of dropping either weeks of time or shitloads of gil so I could experience something I didn’t give a damn about. Because it was never about the gameplay, it was about the story - of the game, and of the RP.

It was glamour that got me out of that shell and into the Crystal Tower. That led to me doing MSQ through the abject misery of 2.1, well into 2.3 or 2.4′s time.

The problems, all along, were my fault. I didn’t want to play the endgame when I could instead level alts or RP. I didn’t want to waste time on parts of the game I was sure to just find frustrating. I hated the weekly cap, hated the tome grind, hated the very idea of doing coil.

In Heavensward, I started to care so much more about the gameplay, in large part because it was made better pretty much across the board. I remember I didn’t even do the MSQ for like two months - I was too busy leveling DPS jobs in the magical dungeon queues that happened right at Heavensward launch, where DPS was always adventurer in need.

What I always loved about The Riskbreakers (RISK) was the atmosphere. Everyone was friendly towards everyone, the RP was fairly loose and there was a lot of room for creativity. I made so many characters with such variety - nowhere else would my cast include a privateer, a melodramatic bard, an ages-old assassin hiding in plain sight, and a fangirl! Every step of the way, it felt fantastic to be supported. To be respected.

About a year and a half ago, towards the tail end of May 2016, as I recall, I feel I lost that respect irrevocably. I was struggling with severe depression at the time and I had so many difficulties suppressing my agitation in the company Skype chat that I followed an implicit suggestion and voluntarily left said Skype chat with the promise I’d be allowed back in whenever I wanted. To be frank, this was the worst decision I could have made. RISK was practically all of my daily socialization. Without access to the Skype chat I missed planned events, I missed out on the lives of people I cared deeply about. And I really, truly cared, with all my heart. In the darkest times, when FFXIV was all I had in my life that I could still count on enjoying, I tried to cling even harder to the community of friends I had. But I’ve always been a shy person, and that meant the only people I really knew at the time were in The Riskbreakers.

By sequestering myself, I killed my social life. You may be able to imagine that this did not help my depression. It was a terrible decision I had made, but the damage stayed done. I ended up installing Discord, a program which at the time I had zero interest in, because there was a RISK Discord server and I’d hoped to be able to reconnect through that. But I didn’t, and I couldn’t. I found myself afraid to talk to people I’d known for years because I thought, deep down, they all knew I deserved the isolation.

It was irrational of me, sure. But I was far beyond the point of rationality for a long, long time. Maybe I still am. Probably. I still remember there was a resistance to the movement to Discord because of past experiences by some of the membership, people who’d seen that cliques tend to form in situations where not everyone can/wants to be on mic. I tried. I really did try to be of use, to be a positive presence.

But after days of getting up my courage, the first call I joined ended quickly thereafter. As did the second. Thusly convinced it was my fault, and that I was secretly hated, I elected not to join calls uninvited. It felt rude, like intruding into a conversation at a restaurant. It wasn’t talking with friends anymore. There was only so much I could take.

My depression grew worse, and worse, and worse, as my life fell further into a downward spiral. I took increasingly long sabbaticals from RP or even all of FFXIV. I found other games to dive into. I found more distractions to keep back the voices telling me they all hated me and suicide was the only option I had left.

Even as Fanfest approached, I didn’t feel much better. I think everyone remembers that in general 2016 was a shitty year for most people, and it was especially bad for me. Much of my good cheer and will to carry on came from The Crucible. Much of my will to live came from the handful of people I was deeply entrenched in RP with, who I decided to trust.

There were a lot of sins I committed, then - abandoned plots, failure to show up for company plans, missed events - and I regret them all. I don’t feel I can or should be forgiven for what a sorry excuse for a company member I was at the time and since. After the first Heavensward MSQ RP arc which I didn’t much enjoy, something I never once voiced properly because I was hoping the problem would just go away, I skipped a major RP arc in Palace of the Dead for a reason so petty and selfish I won’t mention it here. I jumped into the next one because I felt that my connection to the company was slipping. Sometimes I wanted to leave so I could have less reasons to live.

For all I wanted to blame other people, it was me. It was always me. Every step of the way. If I had just reached out and asked for help, maybe it would’ve been different. If I’d been bluntly honest, maybe it would’ve been better. But I didn’t want to be a problem anymore. I already bothered people so much they’d leave calls if I showed up, right? So reaching out at all, particularly publicly? Not an option. I didn’t want to hurt others. I didn’t want to be selfish. But maybe I should have been, just a little.

For a long time, I lived thinking I would never reconnect with FFXIV RP outside the three (and, over time, two, then one) people I had frequent RP with. Instead of enjoying RP with RISK I found it stressful and unfulfilling, both out of a fear of fucking things up and a general dislike of where things were going. My favorite part of the company was the generally loose standards it played by, after all.

I used Rydia Misuto as a way to cope. By making a character with so much effort put in, so much potential for growth, and a story of so much more grand a scale than I usually did, I expected people to be impressed with me. Rydia came in December 2015, at the cusp of the depressive phase that never really went away completely since it started, but I was proud of her. I loved writing her. I was so inspired by her. Brohamut and I planned great things for her and Cecilia Harvey, and we elected to keep our plans largely a secret so others could be surprised by this story we were collaboratively telling. Suddenly the magic had returned before it had faded.

But I shot myself in the foot. I fucked myself over before I’d begun, because I was so casual about her character that she was quickly just the “lettuce brat”. I tried my best to depict a character who had gone through hell and lived, and came out severely traumatized and unable to adequately cope with it. Someone in need of help they were reluctant to seek. I had hoped that something this different would be of interest to people.

It was a mistake.

A depressing story like hers? Nobody wanted that. Not really. There were lots of expectations heaped upon her because of the association with the character from FFIV. Though I did my best to clarify she was inspired by the character and never meant to be anything close to a 1-to-1 transition, I clearly screwed that up, too.

Rydia, a character written extremely seriously, became ‘the lettuce brat’. She ended up little more than comic relief in the eyes of most people, I feel, and the more I struggled  to RP her more and get her taken more seriously the more I lost the fight. I misread the situation. Nobody would have wanted to RP with her no matter how I’d played her. Some things are just uncomfortable, and it’s not really other peoples’ obligation to explain that things make them uncomfortable.

The final nail in the coffin of my membership with RISK was the reformation leading into Stormblood RP. The free and open company of eclectic, bombastic personalities became a paramilitary and overnight practically none of my characters fit anymore. Jaraku doesn’t belong in a uniform taking orders. Grey didn’t want to fight. The only IC RISK member I had that was cool with it was Resh Viqqoh.

And even writing for The Crucible, carrying on other RP plots, playing Stormblood, I still tried to make Resh interesting. It was a new lease on the character who’d for so long been a nothing presence. Making her a full-on engineer wasn’t just logical, it was beautiful. It was a great evolution from her involvement in prior RP. It was a great thing.

I was so, so happy to be able to contribute, but once again I sank myself. I didn’t hunt people down to ask for RP, and the weapon dossiers I made just weren’t interesting enough to hold attention. Not one person wanted anything to do with the ‘engineering department’, which consisted of who I now see was mostly considered a kooky side character and an actual, literal child. I was doomed from the start.

Thanks entirely to Brohamut and The Crucible, I was able to find RPers outside the FC who were interested in RPing with me. I got over a lot of my shyness and came out of my shell a lot more because it felt less like one mistake would get me kicked. In my depressed state, I was convinced I was always a hair from being politely asked to leave RISK.

I never wanted to worry anyone, so I kept it to myself, almost entirely.

When my last-ditch effort with Resh failed and I found myself (on my second account) in other free companies who I felt more kinship with than RISK, the end was inevitable. If I wasn’t going to be allowed to RP with RISK as Rydia, if my characters were doomed to languish (because of my mistakes, because of my writing, because of my crippling sleep disorder I still don’t have a handle on) in a company with which I had precious little business RPing, then why not leave?

When I first broached the topic to Livvy, I told her I wanted to leave in small numbers, a bit at a time, so nobody would panic. And because I wanted to have the option open to come back. But that was me being a coward again.

So instead, I’m leaving in total now. And I want this explanation visible to the company I loved more than I had ever loved myself so that there’s no doubt or rumor about why I did it.

Now, as far as what I’m planning for RP purposes:

Any character who ends up retired/replaced will have a public post of their epilogue. I hate retcons, hate them, so I would rather write the end of their story than do what it would take for them to continue on outside the company, i.e. deny it existed IC. I’m not going to do that.

-Blaetlona Isilmynawyn is up in the air. I’ve had no real reason to RP her in any meaningful way in about a year. She’s tentatively considered an ‘open’ slot for new character creation 

-Grey Riot will be retired. This has been a long time coming and was discussed in advance with relevant parties.

-Jaraku Drake is moving on from RISK, and IC has more plans now than ever. Apparently leaving the company was the best thing to happen to him from my perspective because now he has much more freedom to go different places and do more things.

-Zwynmaga Doesmagasyn, as the ‘biker gang’ RP series is completely abandoned/concluded, is up for replacement for new character creation should this be necessary.

-Bernard Undertaker, an integral part of the Undertakings arc, will remain involved in that arc so long as he lives IC. However, as I am neither able to afford nor justify spending $50 on him at this time for a story + job jump just so he can do one in-character action, I will not be taking him to Stormblood.

-Natalya Nibiru is up for replacement or radical shift in attention/direction. Potentially, I’ll keep her on to RP with Gaelle.

-Resh Viqqoh is going to require either EXTREME shift in character, or, more likely, replacement.

-Rydia Misuto will be one of my highest-priority RP characters because I owe it to her to give her a serious story that will be worth reading about, especially now that I am free of any burden of worry about how her story will conflict with others’.

-A’sato Clueless, made specifically for an RP arc I completely ruined immediately out of panic (which is not an excuse), will be replaced with a much better character for an arc I intend to go well which will be wholly unrelated to RISK.

-Gaelle Troyes will either continue to RP alongside Natalya/doing her own thing or be returned to retirement. Likely the former. I do enjoy those two and their dynamic.

-Gerrith Gaffgarion will be taken in other directions, as it was made clear to me (tragically late) that plans changed and he will not be needed or wanted in any RP involving RISK. He has already continued his successful career via a job which was part of a story arc conceived, planned, and carried on by @sasha-rochester and their closest RP partner, who are both phenomenal writers I have nothing but good to say about.

-Tange Shishido remains a willing teacher to anyone in the Far East who desires to learn how to use a katana to kill Garleans.

As the rest of my characters are not directly affiliated with RISK in any meaningful capacity, I feel no need to address my plans for them.

I hope those of you who took the time to read this can understand my decision. I hope I can be forgiven. At this time, I don’t know if I’ll attend any future company events. I will be leaving the skype chat and discord server, however, as it seems appropriate to do so given the circumstances. I never used the RISK server to play Overwatch, anyway, and it’s not as if I ever felt welcome in calls there.

[khaliasama]

What server are u on? Also I just got ffxiv for my ps4 and I haven't started yet but I was wondering if u had any tips for a newbie :>

i play on Balmung! aka the hardest server to get on because it’s the unofficial RP server ; w; (like literally the only way to guarantee a spot is to either pay for a transfer or wait for the servers to blip or crash momentarily and then make a character. it’s really annoying!)

(i’m putting this under a read more because it got a little lengthy)

okay, let’s see tips ummmm let’s see:

don’t stress out too hard about picking a permanent class/job. you can switch at any time so long as you have it unlocked and have at least one weapon appropriate for that class/job. experiment around if you find yourself getting a bit bored! the neat thing about ffxiv is if you have one class/job at a higher level than the others, you’ll get bonus exp leveling others until they’re caught up with your highest level!

that said, keep on top of your class/job quests! you get a lot of skills and even some equipment as you go and the quests specifically are there to teach you how to use these new skills

at level 30, you can pick a job. all jobs (except the heavensward ones i believe) have pre-requisites where you need to be level 15 in another class. this site details what you need leveled in order to achieve the job that you want in the end

once you have your job ALWAYS keep your soul stone equipped or else you’re not the proper job. it may seem like a silly thing, like duh! of course you wouldn’t forget your soul stone. you would be surprised

playing your job ‘properly’ doesn’t stop at just having it leveled and having all the gear! be sure to have all the necessary cross class skills for the job you want to play! it’s super important! you don’t need to worry about this right away but later down the line if you want to know details hit me up again and i can tell you what you need for the job you’re playing!

don’t rush just to get to end game. like trust me here! i know it might be tempting to bully through everything to get caught up but there’s no rush! take your time! enjoy the story and the environments and THE MUSIC!

you’re actually starting the game at a really good time. when the new expansion drops, a lot of things are going to be changing so it’ll probably be easier for you to adjust to the new changes!

don’t worry too much about gathering and crafting right out of the gate. they will always be there and they can be very overwhelming to begin leveling so just concentrate on your battle class.

oh! and do the novice hall training! it teaches you the basics of the game and you also get a very nice set of gear that stays with you for a bit and has good stats! so you don’t have to scramble for armor early on!

once you get your chocobo companion, that thing is your best friend. it can tank, heal, or do extra dps for you! and it levels up and gets skills! it’s awesome! (i’d probably go heal or dps first though depending on what you play)

also don’t stress too badly about leveling up in general. doing the whole main story questline should get you to max level with little extra work needed. when i leveled up, i only had to do a tiny bit extra

that being said though, doing some FATEs isn’t a bad idea! you get extra money and grand company seals that are a form of currency and kind of useful now

OH YEAH and do your hunting log! keep on top of that! it’s easy peasy exp and money

and finally, just do your best to have fun! if you get a little anxious about going into dungeons alone, don’t sweat it! just take deep breaths and do your very best. there are some bad apples in the community but generally you run into nice people. ask questions if you’re unsure about something and if someone’s a jerk to you then just push through and forget about them! i’d recommend Balmung as a server to come to because it’s not too terrible but like i said, it’s nearly impossible to get on unless you pay to transfer or just get super lucky. i think the other servers in my data center are alright for the most part, just not nearly as populated. i think i’d might say stay away from Gilgamesh though. that’s the raid server and i never hear good things about Gilgamesh haha. 

okay i think that’s mostly it. hopefully i didn’t overwhelm you, but there’s a bit to remember at first. i hope you have tons of rad fun! ffxiv is probably my favorite mmo right now even though im on hiatus. i just love it a lot despite any complaints.

now for some resources!

FFXIV Wiki (main wiki)

Gamer Escapes FFXIV Wiki (i pretty much only used this one for looking up monster locations for hunt logs and looking up crafting recipes)

Eorzea Collection (previews for all glamour sets currently in the game. handy for when you get into glamouring at level 50 and also for if you wanna see what kind of gear your future job(s) are gonna get)

MTQcapture (youtube channel that specializes in making guides for all dungeons, trials, and raids in the game. they are super concise guides and very easy to process)

but yeah i think that mostly wraps it up. feel free to pop more messages into my inbox if you have more questions and i’ll try to help! i should be returning to the game sometime next year. a month or two before 4.0 drops hopefully!

have fun and welcome to the wonderful world of Eorzea! o/