#I wonder how many of you I'll lose after you know the truth

[chuluoyi]

only if you are up for a challenge. Naoya Zenin x f!reader in which he got her pregnant, then she left out of fear and he found her again and won't let her go :)))

when you loved me

- zen'in naoya x reader

you loved him... but you have had enough of the shit you've experienced—his arrogance, horrible family and another woman—and decided to leave him for the sake of yourself and your child

genre/warnings: angst to comfort, implied cheating, most likely ooc, honestly i almost made it a vs naoya fic with no consolation, happy ending aka naoya is decent

note: this ask... has been collecting dust in my askbox for about SIX MONTHS HAHAH, so sorry anon. i'll just leave it here and let it burn however just bc i don’t want to delete what i’ve written :’)

general masterlist

"How... how could you?"

Once, you thought, you were in love with Zen'in Naoya.

Well, you couldn't deny that he had personality flaws, but deep down, at one point in your life, you still believed that he too loved you.

You stared at him through tears brimming in your eyes, and he was just there, looking at the little being in your arms with a mix of shock and... something else you couldn't name. Dismay? Disappointment? Black rage?

"Go away, Naoya," you declared through your gritted teeth, pulling the baby in your arms even closer to you, as though fearing he might do something drastic. No way in hell would you let him after what he made you go through.

His eyes twitched as he tried to hold himself back from losing it. He took a few deep breathes in order to stay composed.

“Y/N, answer me,” he growled, still with the same condescending tone you remembered nine months ago, when you resolutely decided to leave him. “Is that baby mine?”

This was absolute madness. You had driven him insane. Naoya was certain he would go feral on you after you boldly left him without a trace, and when he found you, you were cradling this baby in your arms—which he was absolutely sure, enough to bet on his life, that the little thing was also his.

The woman he loves has given birth to his child.

You had imagined all sort of scenarios in which this very event would occur. This was one of them actually.

“No,” you firmly replied, gaze hardening. “Not yours. So kindly let yourself out of my house, Naoya.”

“Absolute bullshit!” he shouted and you flinched. His sudden rise of voice also woke the poor baby in your arms.

His heart hammered inside his chest. There were many things that made a mess of his head. You running away from him. The nights of madness he went through, wondering where you were and if you were alright. And now, the fact you had his baby without him ever knowing.

“Where were you? Why did you leave— you were having my—”

Fuck, he didn’t even know if he had a son or daughter.

You tried to console your child, now tears also streaming down your cheeks too. But it was more of frustration and anger rather than fear. “Can you blame me? Zen’in Naoya, you have made my life hell!”

“Hell?” It felt like an total insult to his pride. “How—!”

“You!” you screamed at his face. “I’ve had enough of your shit! And not to mention your father—that horrible drunkard who always looks down on me and treats me as if I were some gold digger! And also the whole of your goddamn, entitled clan—they always harass me right in front of my face!”

All of this stunned him on this place. Truth to be told, he knew a little to nothing at all about what his kin had done to you.

“I don’t need your family’s wealth! I can live on my own just fine even with your bastard!” Your tirade still hadn’t ended, but you had to put your baby on her cot first and dismiss her ever growing cries because you were tired of all of this. This life. This absolute nightmare that was caused by one fatal mistake of falling in love with Zen’in Naoya.

“But what the fuck? You’re asking why I left? How dare you ask me that after what you did!”

“What did I even do?!” His denial made a blood vessel about to burst inside your brain. “You never fucking told me what my father did! If only you did, I would have—”

“Look, you don’t even acknowledge it!” You were so tired of this. You wished you could die and just end all of this mental suffering. Why did this have to happen to you out of a billion people out there?

And yet, still, ultimately, you were happy with him. Those memories of the two of you together, just idyllically spending time together, or sometimes even playfully clashing opinions— to you, they were irreplaceable.

So, that's why...

Your heart shattered at the screeching cries of your baby. But you had to slam this in Naoya’s face.

“That was the last straw—seeing you with that fucking woman, you insufferable, demented, cheating bastard!”

That string of profanities you screamed at his face made Naoya finally lost it, as he gripped you tightly and his eyes flared with pure white-hot anger. “Say that again—say that again, you—!”

A toe-curling scream ripped out of your baby and you wrenched yourself out of his grasp through sheer will. Naoya was left reeling as he watched your horrified expression, as you plucked the baby into your arms again.

“Shh, shh,” you shushed your child amidst your own quivering lips. “Mama is here… Don’t cry…”

Right at that moment, it was as if something had pierced his chest and left a gaping hole. He really had a living baby. That baby was crying because of him.

The sting of the anger was still there, but now guilt started to overpower it as he regained his cool somewhat. “Is that a—” his breath hitched. He had to know. At the very, very least he had to know.

You didn’t immediately answer. You were still absolutely heartbroken by how it all turned out. But above all else, you could no longer deny him of his own child.

“A girl,” you sniffled.

A daughter. A daughter— in the one split second after knowing that, Naoya made the quickest decision of his life.

“Come back. Live with me,” he said, resolute. “You’re the mother of my child—I won’t let anyone lay their hand on you again. You have my word.”

Women are pain in the ass. That was what he used to think. Until you. Not when it's you. It astounded even himself how the sight of you like this was enough to drive knives into his chest.

“Look, that’s not it,” your tears were now falling free and fast, unable to hold it back longer. “How can you ask me that—when you went behind my back with another woman? Naoya, I love you—loved you. But isn’t this too cruel? How can you do this to me?”

“What woman are you talking about?” He tried to compose himself, but your accusation of him with someone whose existence he didn’t even know was getting in his nerves. “I have never been unfaithful to you! I know we don't always agree to things, but do you really think that low of me?”

“Evidently, I saw you with her. Your father made it a point that she’s your next plaything—or possibly even, fiancée!”

There was a memory that sprung into his head when you mentioned that. He recalled that vain, stupid woman, and he definitely remembered telling his father that he refused her. It wasn’t long before you disappeared.

Now everything clicked.

“Listen to me,” Naoya started, jaw clenching. “Whatever my father told you—those are all lies. I turned her down right there and then. I wouldn’t do that to you. You know that. You should have known that.”

Sobs wrecked your body and soul at this point. You knew where your place was. Zen’in Naoya was a man outside your league, his family made it so clear to you that you were nothing but dirt in their eyes. And perhaps that was why, back then, you chose to protect yourself and left him, believing he was capable of that too.

And now before you, you could see the man you loved once again.

“Come back to me.” His gaze burned you. “This time, for sure, I won’t let anyone touch you— I won’t let them even say a word about you! I will marry you, and we will raise our daughter together.”

“I… I don’t want to live there, Naoya…” you sobbed. You hated that place. Like hell would you have your pride stomped and deceived again.

“Alright, if that’s what you want. We won’t live there. You won’t have to see any of their faces again.”

Gazing into your face, marked by trails of tears, he finally, finally felt his heart break. And he thought, that in front of him now was the only woman who could upturn his whole trajectory.

“Just… come back. To me. I will take care of you. I swear it.”

[twoidiotwriters1]

My sisters in christ I am begging you for a Luffy smut where everyone thinks he's got no clue of how sex works cause he's Luffy and he doesn't mind the teasing UNTIL he hears the reader thinks the joke is actually true and he decides to show her he's not so innocent 😮‍💨😮‍💨

I didn't know I'm so good at this until now...-Val

I'll Show you (Monkey D. Luffy x fem!reader)

Warnings: SMUT... just-... your welcome!

Words: 2,181

After another successful battle, as always, the straw hats wanted to have a big party to celebrate. Unfortunately, the Marines appeared to ruin the moment. So, they had to run back to the Sunny before it was too late. But not even that could take away the festivity out of the pirates.  

Sanji takes care of the food, Brooke and Franky the music, and Zoro the drinks. After a few hours (and many drinks), the conversation takes different turns as they keep digging. 

“I can’t believe you, Luffy,” Zoro says with incredulous laughter and shaking his head. 

“What? Why not?” Says Luffy with a frown. 

“Me neither,” says Usopp. “How come you were on an island with just women for two years and didn’t do something?” He scoffs. 

“Well, it’s the truth. Why would I lie? And what do you mean by ‘do something’?” Luffy’s confused by his friend’s question. 

“You see, Luffy,” says Sanji with a smile. “It’s quite hard to think that you left that wonderful paradise!” He chuckles with his flushed cheeks as he lights a cigarette. 

“Uh, I had to. I made a promise to you, guys,” he smiles.  

“But you didn’t have a girlfriend? Or you didn’t want to do… fun things with them?” Usopp chuckles. He doesn’t know how to talk to Luffy about this kind of thing. It always has been a mystery how his captain’s brain works. And he’s drunk too, so he can’t think straight. 

“Fun things?” Luffy thinks. “I mean, we played, and they showed me some defense techniques, I think that’s funny,” he shrugs. 

The three men laugh at his words. Sanji sighs leaning against the boat’s mast. “Oh, I would pay anything to be with the most beautiful woman in the world, Boa Hancock.” 

“Oh, she’s nice!” Luffy adds. 

“You bet,” Zoro chuckles sipping his sake. 

“I would never leave that island,” says Sanji. 

“You’d probably be dead by now, cook,” Zoro snorts. “How much blood would you lose by being there for five minutes?” 

“Shut it, Moosehead,” Sanji grunts. “It would be the best way to die.”  

“Why?” Luffy asks. He tries to understand but every time he speaks, his friends just laugh at him. So, he lets it go and eats more. 

“What are you guys talking about?” You ask arriving on deck with Robin and Nami with a drink in hand. 

Luffy looks at you with a big smile. “I don’t know, I got lost,” he informs as Sanji, Usopp, and Zoro talk now between them and in whispers. 

You shrug at them and sit on Luffy’s lap, getting comfortable and caressing his black hair. His hand travels to hold your waist and his head rests on your shoulder. 

“See!” Usopp points at Luffy and then laughs with the others. “Just look at him! He’s so oblivious. He has his girl on his lap and her tits are practically on his face and he doesn’t do anything. Do you think he did something in Amazon Lily?” 

“Uh?” Luffy’s confusion returns when he hears that. 

“Yeah, he has no clue,” says Zoro. “Even if Y/N asks him.” He chuckles. 

“Shut up,” You roll your eyes getting closer to your boyfriend.  

“C’mon, Y/N,” Usopp moves clumsily to stand before you two. “Tell me, Luffy. Did you even want to kiss Boa Hancock?” 

“Uh–no. She’s a friend, why would I want to kiss her?” 

“Good boy,” you kiss his cheek and smile proudly. 

Even though you weren’t together back then, you feel happy that Luffy didn’t fall for Hancock’s tricks.  

“God, you’re so lost,” says Nami. “Even I want to kiss her.” 

“They say that she’s the most beautiful woman in the world,” Robin informs them. “I would kiss her too,” she giggles. 

“One night stand,” Zoro informs with a firm nod.  

“Yeah,” Sanji scoffs “Like you could have a chance with someone as beautiful as her, Moosehead.” 

“Hey! If Luffy has her wanting to marry him, I think I have a better chance than you, shitty cook.” 

With that, they all start to discuss who would have a real chance with the woman.  Meanwhile, Luffy has been thinking about what his friends have been laughing about in his answers. He raises his head to look at you. “What do they really mean, Y/N?” 

“Uh–what Zoro said?” Luffy nods. “One-night stand is when you… uh, want to sleep with someone, but without a relationship or romantic feelings, and it’s just for one night,” you shrug.  

Luffy takes his time to think about that, mixed with his friend’s comments. Finally, his brain’s cells connect and understand. “Oh!” He exclaims making the others stop talking and look at him. “You’re talking about sex!” He laughs. 

“So oblivious,” says Nami shaking her head, and everybody bursts in laughter again.  

Luffy smiles proud of himself for now, understanding their conversation, but his smile stutters when he feels your body shake in laughter too. “Wait, why are you laughing?” He raises an eyebrow. 

You frown. “Oh! It’s okay, baby,” you kiss his forehead. “I know sometimes it’s hard for you to understand this… topic.” 

“Hah! Really hard, right, Y/N?” Zoro barks and laughs. You look at him with a deadly glare of warning. 

“What?” Luffy asks getting a little annoyed. 

“Shut up, Zoro!” You warn him. 

“I swear I’ve tried everything, but Luffy can’t take a hint!” says Zoro, making an awful sharp womanly voice that makes everyone laugh. 

“I’m gonna kill ya’!” You groan standing up from Luffy’s lap and attacking Zoro’s good eye. 

“Uh...” Luffy leans to Robin. “Are they still talking ‘bout sex?” 

 Robin giggles. “Yes, Captain.” 

** 

When you enter your shared room, you see a very serious Luffy sitting on the bed.  

“Luffy?” He raises his head, but his expression is the same. “Are you okay?” 

Luffy’s jaw is tense, and his hands are fisted at his sides. “No.”  

“What’s going on?” You sit next to him as you take off your shoes. 

“You want to have sex with me.” It’s not a question. 

“I-uh. I mean, y-yeah...” as Zoro revealed, you’ve tried with soft touches, lingerie, and hot make-out sessions, but there’s always something distracting him. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His tone makes you more nervous than you expected. You’ve never seen him like this with you.  

“I-I try, but...” 

“No, you don’t,” he stands and turns to you with his arms crossed. “Are you scared or something?” 

“What? No! It’s not that!” 

“Do you think you won't like it?” 

You shake your head, standing up. “No, Luffy-” 

“’Cuz I know that you’ll like it,” he smirks at you. His voice’s deep and his eyes linger on your body making you shake. 

“I-uhm...” you sigh. “Luffy, it’s just that… You can be a little… oblivious about sex and I just thought...” 

Luffy chuckles. “Yeah, maybe. But I choose to be like that. I don’t care if the others think that,” he steps closer to you. “But you are more important,” he slowly grabs your waist and pulls you up to his body.  

You put your hands against his chest. “W-what do you mean?” 

“I’ll show you,” he whispers and then crashes his lips to yours in a hungry kiss. 

You moan when you feel his tongue enter your mouth, his hands go down to grab your ass and squeeze it, wrinkling the fabric of your dress. “Luffy!” You gasp, ending the kiss.  

“I gotcha’,” he giggles as he gets behind you to unzip your dress, leaving you in just underwear. 

He picks you up confidently and you wrap your legs around his waist. He walks with you to the bed and drops you carelessly making you complain. Luffy laughs as he removes his vest, shoes, and pants at great speed. 

He crawls up your thighs without taking his intense dark eyes off you. You tremble with anticipation. “Maybe everybody thinks I’m dumb, maybe I am,” he shrugs. “But I know you, Y/N...” he starts to kiss your skin. “And I know your reactions to my touch.” 

Luffy makes you open your legs, and he doesn’t wait before he’s kissing, licking, and biting the interior of your thighs. You sigh, feeling a shock from his lips. Luffy pulls away a little and smiles proudly, having left hickeys all over you. He grabs your thighs again to put them over his shoulders and have better access to your clothed pussy. 

“Luffy!” You squeak at his proximity. 

“My favorite part...” he says, ripping off your panties. 

You want to scold him, but your scream evolves and turns into a moan from your lips when his mouth attacks straight to your core. Your back falls against the mattress and you hold the sheets. 

You’re surprised at his enthusiasm to eat you whole and even feel a little embarrassed to hear the wet sound he’s making. “Luffy!” You moan. He drowns his moans in response and his grip on your legs tightens. 

It doesn’t take you long to recognize the sweet sensation of an orgasm, but you also feel overwhelmed because you’ve never cum so fast. “Luffy… wait!” You try to breathe. “Slow down a bit!” 

He decides not to listen and continues his work by running his tongue over your clit. That alone is enough to make you moan loudly, your body trembles and your legs want to come together crushing Luffy’s head. Your hand tangles in his hair tightly to pull him closer to you. “F-Fuck, Luffy!” You groan as you try to breathe after that intense high.  

Luffy keeps licking but now lowers his speed to just get slower laps until he’s satisfied. Then he crawls higher up to be close to your face, his smile no longer shows any innocence, but pride in his good job. 

“T-That was...” you sigh. 

“I know. I told you I’d show you,” he giggles. He slowly moves to be completely between your legs, and you gasp when you feel his boner. “I ain't finished, though.” 

He leans to softly kiss your lips and his hands travel all over your skin. “Soft...” he whispers. “So pretty.” 

Now it’s your turn to touch him, feeling his sweaty and strong muscles, then you lower your hand to his still-clothed cock, and Luffy moans. “Take ‘em off,” you order, and he nods.  

You touch again his hard member and move your hand up and down. “Y/N...” he calls you in a trembling voice. 

“Y-yeah?” You don’t stop. 

“Did I–Did I do well?” He sighs. “Did I eat you well? You liked it?” He thrusts at your hand. 

“Yes,” you moan. “I liked it very much, love.” 

“Was I a good boy?” He whines. 

You understand what he wants to hear. “Yes, such a good boy, Luffy,” you praise. “My good boy...” 

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he kisses you. “So soft, so pretty,” he smiles, “and so fucking delicious, the best thing I’ve ever tasted.” He laughs as he leans over and sucks on your nipple, firmly holding your breast. 

“Lu!” You scream, grabbing his dark locks again.  

He lets go of your nipple at holds the hand you’re using to caress him. “I-I want to be inside you, please... Can I?” He asks desperately.  

“Yeah, I need it too...” 

He smiles and moves, taking his member directly to your entrance eagerly.  

"Slow, Luffy..." You warn him. 

"I'm sorry," he laughs a bit. 

Both of you moan with his slow thrust, and Luffy buries his head on your neck when he's all the way in. You can feel the soft kisses on your throat as your body gets used to his intrusion, but you can't wait too long, so you grab his ass and pull him into you. 

"Move, baby..."  

He obeys, increasing the speed of the thrusts more and more until the sound of skin slapping skin floods the room along with the screeching of the bedframe against the wall. 

"Good boy."  

"Yeah, your good boy. Only yours..." 

After a while, you feel your body reaching a new climax and notice that Luffy's thrusts are harder and a bit sloppier. "I'm close," you moan. 

"Me too," he groans. “You first...” He raises his head to look at you. “I bet you look so pretty when you cum.” If your skin isn’t flushed by now, his words make your body feel like it’s on fire. “Cum f’me...” 

You squeal hitting your release and Luffy holds your waist like you might go away from him. “Fuck!” He grunts, and you feel him cum inside you. 

Your bodies shiver a little from the adrenaline, Luffy slowly pulls out of you, and his body falls on yours. You can't help but giggle and caress him. 

“I buv u,” he says, with his face buried on your tits.  

“I love you too.”  

After a comfortable silence, you remember the party happening on deck. “The others can’t laugh at you now, huh?” 

He giggles. “I don’t care. But maybe they heard your screams...” 

“YES, WE DID!” Someone yells upstairs. “WE GET IT!”  

You two laugh.  

[yanderestarangel]

HEADKANONS BI HAN | SUB ZERO MK1 WITH S/O

A/N: I'm going to write headcanons about all the men in MK, I'm going to write one shots, fanfic, I'm going crazy and more horny for each one of them... I'm gay as f*ck. Do you want to make a request? Read my blog rules in the pinned post.

TW: sfw, headcanons in general, afab reader, smut.

He is an aggressive lover. I mean, he's not going to hit you or anything, but he's extremely cold (I laughed after remembering that he's fucking sub zero lol), he's the type to talk the basics, even to you, so don't do it "silly" questions for him, if he's okay or if he ate, he'll answer: "-I'm here in front of you so obviously I'm fine." "-Don't worry, I know how to take care of myself, I'm not a child."

He likes to show his love for you through actions, like buying you something you've been wanting for a while, like giving you a bouquet of flowers, small but meaningful, Bi-Han doesn't know how to express love for anyone, I'm sorry, But it's the truth, but he tries for you, even if it's not the best.

Bi-Han cares about you even if he doesn't express it, he knows that he is a frustrated and wrong man in several actions, even if he wants to lie to himself that he doesn't, you both know that, but if you haven't given up on him, and You're still on his side, it means you love him, and he values that.

Bi Han won't let you work outside of his sight, that is, he will want you at home, you can beg or try to argue, he will say: "-Your job is to be my husband/wife, take care of our house, me and yourself, I can't allow you to go around." -He spoke calmly, but seriously, and that was really his thought, he just wants you to be close to him, he is afraid, terrified, of losing you one day. -

Bi Han is insecure, even if he never admits it, he gets jealous very quickly, he knows that you are a beautiful person, so he knows that many ninjas lust after you, even though you are married to him, so please don't flirt with other men or women, this man is capable of crazy things and the silent treatment he will give you after that will be for an indefinite period of time.

You are always on his mind in every mission, Kuai Liang and Tomas sometimes notice their grandmaster looking into space and perhaps, a transparent smile appears quickly, while Bi-Han looks at the landscape on the horizon, thinking about you. "-I hope (Y/N) is okay" -He said to himself, shaking his head soon after and returning to the mission.

When he notices that you are sad he becomes worried, but he just crosses his arms under his chest, and looks at you waiting for an explanation for such behavior, if you are upset about something that someone from the Lin Kuei clan did to you, consider that person dead, your grand master husband will immediately leave the house forming a deadly ice dagger in his hand, returning some time later, with a determined and blood-stained look. "-Okay, wipe your tears, the problem has already been solved, let's have dinner." -He spoke seriously and calmly, as he wiped the blood from his hands on a cloth, heading to the kitchen with heavy steps and giving you a look, so you could follow him.

Bi-Han lies down on the bed next to you, but he can't sleep for several nights, he finds himself watching you, your face so peaceful next to him, the ninja monster of the lin kuei, you look so good and comfortable next to him, he really wonders why you married him, you deserve someone better.

He covers you more with the sheet, caressing your cheek lightly with his thumb, while whispering on rare occasions, that he loved you.

"-I really love you, you know that? I'm sorry I'm not the best man for you (Y/N), I really want you forever by my side, and I'll protect you from this world, whatever the cost, what do I do and for me and for you." -Bi Han told you while you slept, he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead, while looking at the moon soon after, it would be another night that he would be haunted by his own demons.

Bi-Han's favorite couple's activity with you is strolling to a lake on the Lin Kuei clan's estate, sitting with you on the cool grass as the two of you watch nature, the swans on the lake, the cloudy sky announcing an upcoming rain. would soon come, the trees swaying to the rhythm of the wind, as Bi Han talked about his mother, he really loved her, and he is happy to see that you were really interested in listening, as he talked about childhood memories, making little sculptures of ice with his fingertips to represent the story he told, it's these moments with you that make everything he did, even the cruelest things, worth it.

He may not be loyal to the clan, but he is to you. He's the type that if someone comes at him, he has to be held back so he doesn't punch them for such audacity. Ex:

"-Bi Han, are you going to come with us-"

"-I'm a married man"

"-Bi Han, we just asked-"

"-I'm a married man, I told you." -He says pointing to the wedding ring and leaving. They were just going to ask him to drink a little, but as Bi Han said, he is a married man to you.

He doesn't like nicknames, only during sex, other than that he will call you by your name, or "my husband/my wife", he likes the idea of being called "husband" by you too, so if you If you refer to him like that, in public, he will melt inside, and smile slightly sideways behind the mask.

He is a wild man in bed, taking out his frustrations and anger on your beautiful pussy, mouth and body in general.

Bi Han loves blowjobs, if he could, you would be kneeling between his legs 24 hours a day, with your pretty face taking his entire cock in your mouth - I feel sorry for you dear, this man's cock is big and thick, he's literally going to hit it down your throat easily, leaving you breathless while your husband enjoys watching you choke on his dick like that -

He likes to degrade you in sex, it's a way for him to mark you as his and release his frustrations too, he will fuck you roughly, especially fucking you with his dick stuck in your pussy, with him lifting you easily while his hips they aggressively pound against your tight hole.

"-You're a great slut, you know? Taking my cock like a desperate bitch."

"-Oh fuck, you feel so good, don't you? Your pussy was made for me, the grand master lin kuei, and only mine, only I deserve you, do you hear? I'm just going to fuck that beautiful pussy until you can only think about how You want my dick inside you."

"-Do I really have a little whore as my husband/wife? How lucky for me then."

"-I'm going to fill you up... I'm going to fill that tight pussy of yours, and you want that, don't you? You want every drop of my cum, you're a hungry slut."

He loves to call you: "slut", "dirty bitch", "private whore", "nymph", "good boy/girl with a tight pussy". Most of the sex sessions you have with Bi Han end with him cumming on your face, pussy or belly, painting everything with his cum and leaving you panting with your legs shaking - for him, sex really is only good when you are weak from cumming on his dick, and overstimulated, with a swollen clitoris - He loves many sexual positions, but he prefers:

Cowgirl’s Helper: He likes to see you on top of him, your hands on his chest, while one of his hands squeezes your ass, and the other is behind his head. Bi Han watches you get impaled on his dick, stretching your pussy slowly, as your pussy drools on his pulsing dick, he looks at you, smiling smugly when he sees the rise of his dick in your womb. He would just groan in response to your desperate moans, watching your body move as you whimpered to cum - he wasn't going to let you cum yet, and if you did, he was going to punish the hell out of you, giving you at least five painful orgasms and pleasant that night -

Stand and Deliver: He loves seeing you bent over, your waist is sore from being bent over for him, but he loves seeing your ass and waist on top, thrusting into your pussy while pulling your hands behind your back, he would go so hard on your hole that your feet would leave the ground, you could feel the burn of the speed of Bi Han's dick in your pussy, but he wouldn't stop, he wouldn't stop until he left you a trembling mess full of cum - while calling you a desperate slut his cock -

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

[buckgasms]

Dr's. Barnes and Rogers (Part 1)

Don't worry I am already writing part two I just needed to set the scene before we get to the goooood stuff 🩷

This is doctor kink territory y'all 💦

Tagging @biteofcherry for being a wonderful enabler. Thank you for bringing this out of me and many others with one simple question 😂

@zonkie-bee

Just note this part contains mentions of pregnancy, fertility talk and a gaslighting ex-husband (he's not in it tho). If that might trigger you just give me a day and the next chapter will be just pure filth.

You sat in the waiting room of the Barnes & Rogers Clinic, feet tapping nervously. You were here to have a fertility check up, already feeling like you knew the sad truth.

Your ex husband had been certain that you couldn't have children, that the process of trying to have a baby had been made more painful for your failures. He was a dick. But the doubt and worries continued to plague you.

Finally a friend gently suggested you go to the best fertility clinic in the city. Then you could get actual answers and real solutions. It took some persuading but you decided to try it. What did you have to lose?

At that moment the office door clicked open and Dr. Barnes popped his head out. "Are you my 10am appointment?" You nod and he steps back, and you shuffle in, hoping he doesn't notice how flustered you are at how absolutely gorgeous he is.

You take a seat on the comfy couch, as he sits in an armchair across from you. You try to relax as he welcomes you and picks up his paperwork.

"So, your papers say you're worried about your ability to conceive? Are you married or trying for a baby currently?" He asks, a strand of hair falling into his face as he looks at you with kind, professional concern.

"Um... No not married anymore. That's um.... That's why we split. I just wanted to know...if it was...me? My ex said.... It was me..."

He nods, a glimmer of anger seems to cross his features. "It's never anyone's fault sweetheart..." you smile a little, a flutter in your stomach but then he moves on. He asks questions about your diet, physical activity, and of course your previous attempts at trying to get pregnant. It brings up some painful memories and he is very sympathetic and gentle with you.

"I know this is hard, you're doing so well. Don't worry sweetheart, we'll sort all this out together ok?" You look at his sweet, handsome face and smile. You feel better already. After a further few questions he leads you into his consultation room and explains the tests he's about to conduct.

The big examination bed with stirrups looks a little intimidating but his hand presses at your lower back and guides you with more confidence. "I need to take a sample, which might be a little uncomfortable but I'll do my best to be gentle ok. Just take off your skirt and underwear and get comfortable in the stirrups." He heads out of the room and you hear him chatting to another man in the corridor.

After a few moments you are legs akimbo and feeling a bit ridiculous. But the leather beneath you is soft and smooth, and the room is warm so you feel as comfortable as you'll ever be. He comes back in and he clears his throat at the view of you.

From his perspective the most beautiful perfect angel is laying spread out on his chair, her most intimate parts there for him to enjoy, but for you, you just feel nervous.

"Ok sweetheart, just relax while I check you over. Don't be embarrassed about any reactions you might have. Totally normal." You huff out a laugh and scoot down at his guidance, goosebumps breaking out as you feel his warm breath fan over your intimate area.

The way he probes you makes you bite your lip as you try not to moan. It's honestly the best pelvic exam you've ever had. By the time it comes for him to take a sample you are almost totally unaware of why you are there in the first place.

When he announces he's finished you are mortified to hear yourself whine in disappointment. Thankfully he either doesn't here or pretends he doesn't so you can chide yourself for being such an embarrassment as you get dressed.

"Ok sweetheart, I'll give you a call once we get the results." You shake his soft hand and he squeezes it gently as you smile and make you way out of his office.

⚕️

So here you were a few weeks later. You felt so nervous because when Dr Barnes called you he didn't actually tell you the results. He just told you to come in because he needed to discuss things face to face.

Finally the door clicked open and you were greeted by the handsome face of Dr Barnes. You smiled tightly as you walked in but were surprised to see another doctor sitting in the office on the couch. "This is Dr. Rogers, I wanted to have him here for this consultation, I hope that's ok?"

You nodded,trying to ignore how gorgeous both these doctors were before dropping your bag to the floor and sinking into the seat. It must be really bad if it takes two hot doctors to tell you what's written on that paper.

"Are you ok sweetheart?" Barnes asks, looking concerned at you, reading your mood as Dr Rogers turns towards you, his face also reading concern. Your eyes well up and you sink backwards into the cushions. "Can you just get it over with and tell me I'll never.... That I can't...." You broke into sobs and they both came over to you, rubbing gentle hands over your back and shoulders.

"Oh honey! No! I'm so sorry, it's not like that at all!" Barnes curses and squeezes your shoulder. You hiccup a sob and look up at them both. "What do you mean?" Dr Rogers tuts and grabs the paper from his colleague. "What my partner has stupidly failed to mention to you is that, you are in fact very much able to have babies and you don't have anything at all to worry about in terms of your fertility..."

You glance between them both, Barnes looking sheepish and Rogers looking concerned before collapsing into a combination of sobs and giggles. You can't stop laughing from sheer joy and tears of relief slip down your cheeks. Both of the doctors chuckle in surprise at your reaction. Once you calm down a more comfortable mood fills the room.

"I've always wanted a family of my own. Thank you, I feel like I can have that again now..." You smile at them both and they smile back, "just need to find the right man huh?"

"Well what about another route?" Doctor Rogers draws your attention his way and you cock your eyebrow at him. "What would that be?"

He settles back emanating confidence and professionalism, Barnes reclaims his seat and watches. "We have a trial programme, you can sign up for an insemination and we will monitor you from now until the birth of the child or children. There is considerable remuneration and you can even be provided with new accommodation should you desire it..."

You were dumbfounded. You'd never heard of anything like this before and it certainly sounded life changing, but pretty amazing at the same time. "There has to be a catch?" You say suspiciously, unable to believe this is actually real.

"Well, the insemination process is... revolutionary so it requires some open minded thinking..." Barnes says and you feel a bloom of excitement in your stomach as he looks at you.

"And once the baby is born? Is there still help or monitoring? Or are we just out in the world alone?"

You chuckle but they seem to take it quite seriously. "Absolutely not! We... I mean the programme is very interested in the life span of the child. Besides if you are successful you might want to have another perhaps?" Rogers tries to act casual but you feel like you've stumbled on something there.

Barnes hands you an envelope. "Inside is all the information plus the potential candidates for the donors. Take it home, read it and if you want to take part, call me. If not, no harm done."

⚕️

At home you spent a little while pretending to ignore the envelope but finally you caved and had a read through.

There was very little information about the medical procedures other than the things you might expect. Thorough examination process, compatibility, tests and so on. The next set of documents were mostly about the remuneration which almost made your eyes pop out of your head. Thirty Thousand dollars for the first year! All medical costs covered! It also detailed the new accommodation which sounded like the most luxurious apartment on earth. It was almost too good to resist as you looked around your rented studio flat, your instant ramen going cold as you read.

Finally there was a piece of paper that detailed the potential donors. Only two in fact. A tall blonde, with blue eyes, physically fit and a doctor! The other was a slightly shorter brunette, with blue eyes, physically fit.....and a doctor....

Oh...

⚕️

Part two

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Wingspan

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: Minors denied. Don't want me to write the list of all shameful things I wrote under the cut

Because I've spent whole week with sick 2 years old child, managed to get sick as well and I'm deprived of Azriel because last two months I'm writing only Heal me and as soon as he appeared on scene, this invaded my mind.. Honestly too many reasons to write something silly ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

"Okay, guys. You know why we are here," I started. "At first I'd like to thank you that you voluntarily signed up as subjects for this research."

"We compare our pricks whole life. It's our pleasure that somebody finally took it seriously and wants to write a whole book about it," Cassian teased, laughing hard.

Rhysand was trying really hard to keep a straight face the whole time, but after Cassian's comment he was about to lose it, and Azriel standing in the dark corner rather disappeared in his shadows after this comment.

How did I even get into this situation? Well, I knew how. It all happened because I was a passionate researcher. Too passionate for my own good.

It all started with mated Archeron sisters and Mor who wouldn't stop debating about this thing of a correlation of wingspan with the size of Illyrian male's private parts. It picked up my interest and I searched the entire library to find out more info about it. Utterly failing in the process, there wasn't a single mention. There wasn't even a proper documentation of their wings alone. So I took it upon myself to collect necessary data to confirm or deny truth of this rumour. I briefly mentioned it to Rhys hoping he could help me find enough subjects for the research. Which he did in surprisingly short time. And as if it wasn't enough he and his brothers signed up, too.

"That part I will leave to you. I hope I can count on you to deliver accurate numbers. If you try to cheat I'll have your mates to do it properly," I laughed, but I meant every single word.

"I'm sure Nes would be all for it," Cassian grinned proudly.

"As if Feyre wouldn't," Rhysand lost it. I had to laugh. I was afraid it would turn into something awkward, but with these two it was impossible. They were like kids, turning everything into a funny game.

I met Rhysand under the mountain. He witnessed the moment my ex betrayed me and when Feyre saved us all, he picked up my remains and brought me to Velaris to heal. In the end I decided to stay here. I buried love, lust and everything related to it as deep as possible and focussed on what I liked - research - occasionally helping inner circle.

"At least they certainly won't cheat," I smiled. "This research origins in their concern after all."

The three of us laughed so hard we cried. Only Azriel stayed silent hidden in his corner.

"And who will make sure Azriel doesn't cheat?" Cassian wondered.

"Why should I," Azriel stepped out from his hideaway, lowering a challenging gaze at me.

"I believe Azriel is the last one of three of you to use such dirty tricks to manipulate the results," I said, returning his gaze. "But if he does, I'll personally make sure he delivers true data."

His hazel eyes lit up with mischief and corners of his full lips slightly moved upward in a hardly there smirk. He wasn't so different from his brothers. More serious than these two? Certainly, but he could be playful, too.

"Okay, guys, let's get it done. Who is the first to show off the wingspan?"

This was the part I'd been looking forward the most. Illyrian wings, the most important subject of my research and to be honest, the main reason of this fuss. So sacred that sometimes even their lovers weren't allowed to touch them. Not that I could touch them by any mean. Boys only granted me to take measurements and a close look to make detailed sketches. Totally understandable given how sensitive they were.

All three of them took turns one in a time, helping me when my arms were too short. I took measurements of different parts of their bodies, too, just to be sure I have all I could possibly need to get accurate results. I wrote down numbers into my notebook, already amazed by the results.

"That's all for today. Thank you for your time. When can I expect the other data?"

"You can get them even right now, if you want, but I guess you don't want to see it, do you?" Cassian, always such a tease. I shook my head laughing.

"Would tomorrow morning be a soon enough for you?" Rhysand purred, flashing a smile. "Tonight we're going to have a lot of fun with Feyre."

"It would be perfect," I agreed. The sooner I was done here, the sooner I could go to camps to collect data from volunteers Rhysand had found for me.

Cassian and Rhysand left soon after, but ever-silent Azriel stayed behind.

He seemed to be so flustered and nervous while I was taking his measurements. Cassian was picking on him for that, but Azriel stoically ignored him and held still. It seemed he didn't even breathe. I knew he didn't like to be touched. It was the biggest of the surprises that he voluntarily signed up for this, so I was extra careful with him.

Ever since I met him, he was always very kind and considerate to me. However it took some time until he opened up. It's just few months since we started to hang out more. Not that I wouldn't like him. If I were honest, I would admit that he was very interesting person, I liked him a lot and he was so incredibly handsome. Too handsome to be real.

But that's exactly the way I wasn't suppose to think about him. I'm the type who falls easily and hard, and loves with all her being. That's why I was so devastated last time. Nobody could possibly love somebody like me. I'm unbearable in many ways.

Plus he is too high league for somebody like me. He can have anybody he wants and the line of prospects is long. Elain and Gwyn for example compete for his attention for years. Successfully. There's no way he would think of me that way. I shook my head to get rid of these self harming thoughts.

Turning I smiled at him encouragingly. Azriel cleared his throat, wings rustled behind his back. He did this often when he was nervous or uncomfortable.

"The camps.. are you planning to go there alone?" His deep voice always did this strange thing with my insides. And today was no different. I pushed the feeling aside, to the box of things I shouldn't think about and shut it closed.

"No, I believe last time Rhysand mentioned something about sending an escort. Mor is going with me, too."

"Okay," he nodded. His one word responses the were death of me. It was so hard to keep conversation going.

"Uhm.. So tomorrow? You don't have to hurry if it's inconvenient for you."

"Tomorrow is fine."

"Oh.. So.. uhm.. I'll see you tomorrow." Shadowsinger just nodded looking down at me a little longer than necessary and then finally he turned and left. I let out a long breath.

Next day Rhys came as the first one as soon as I entered my office. I guess he couldn't wait. Cassian stopped by as soon as the training with priestesses was over. I checked their results with their mates during the lunch break just to be sure the numbers are correct.

It was almost evening and Azriel was nowhere to be seen. I packed some of the stuff I needed to take to camps and took a look around. There was nothing else to keep me occupied, so I decided it's time to go home. I was about to open the door when a knock sounded. It was Azriel.

"You came," I greeted him with smile.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner. I was-"

"It's okay," I interrupted him. "You really don't need to apologise. I'm grateful you signed up for this."

He made a small noise and handed me a piece of folded paper. I took it and returned to my desk where I left the notebook with all data.

"Were you going to go home already?" he asked while I unfolded the paper.

"Yeah, you came just in time. One minute later and I would be gone." I looked at the number and froze. No way, this was certainly wrong. I compared it to the other numbers. Definitely wrong.

"Something's wrong?" he stepped closer, peeking down on me.

"What?" I was so immersed in my thoughts I didn't hear him. "Excuse me," I said boldly and reached for his crotch. Just to make things clear, I wasn't completely myself, otherwise I wouldn't dare to even think about doing so. In that very moment I was simply researcher and nothing else.

Azriel sharply inhaled, eyes widened, but he held still, blushing heavily.

"As I thought," I mumbled to myself releasing him. "Sweetheart, you were supposed to measure yourself when you are.. You know.. 'excited'. I really didn't think you would try to sabotage the research," I tried to joke to lighten his embarrassment. "With your .. equipment.. there's no reason for you to lose. I thought you are quite competitive."

He just silently looked to the side while the shadows danced around him as if trying to hide him.

"Or did you want me to help you with it?" I smiled teasingly. His head snapped up, hazel eyes finding mine. "Sit down there," I pointed to an armchair near the window. While he did as I asked him, I took a chair, placing it next to the armchair, facing the other side. I took the notebook, a towel and a tape measure I used the other day, and sat down on the chair.

I looked at him amused. From this angle I could see only his face and shoulders. "Go ahead. I won't look." With that I opened the notebook looking for the page, but he hadn't moved gazing up at me.

I smiled still leafing through pages. "Let me tell you a secret, okay? We have something in common, Az." I leaned closer to him as if it was really a secret I was about to reveal. "When I say I won't look, then I really won't do it." I looked straight into his eyes to make it clear that I meant it. "I can even measure you without seeing it. I don't need to touch you either. All I need is for this measure to touch you. That's all. So take your pants off and let me know when you are ready."

At this moment he was panting heavily, his pupils dilated. "Do you want me to chit chat you through it? Or do you prefer silence?" I added, arching a brow at him when he just sat there gazing. Finally he moved and I heard as his pants slid down. Azriel's gaze darkened, his eyes never leaving mine.

He swallowed, his broad chest heaving. "I'm ready" he rasped, his usually deep voice deepened even more. I'd be lying if I said it didn't effect me. Now it was my turn to blush.

I handed him the towel. "Cover yourself." I stood up slowly to give him enough time. I turned to him placing notebook on a small side table within arm's reach. I gasped when I looked down at him. My heart went crazy, running for marathon and I could only wish he didn't hear it.

Azriel sat in the armchair in full grace as if it was his throne, his bare legs with muscles on right places spread wide, towel crumpled in his fist. He grinned challengingly.

Okay, maybe we have more than one thing in common. I hate losing, too.

My mouth went dry and I was panting as heavily as Azriel. My head emptied. It took me every ounce of self-control to step between his legs, control my trembling hands and measure him. But I did it, I didn't break.

"Much better," I said coolly as I wrote results down. I collected my things, ready to leave.

"You want to leave me like this, Y/N?" Azriel growled lowly.

I made the mistake and looked into his beautiful eyes. I wasn't sure what I'd seen in them, but it dug out all forgotten feelings. As wave of lust washed over me I lost control over myself. I sat down on the armrest, my legs brushing his thigh lightly. I placed hands on his shoulders and leaned in.

"You are right. I should repay you," I whispered inches from him.

For a while Azriel watched me as a starved man. Slowly, very slowly he erased the distance between us, his soft lips colliding with mine. The moan that came out from his throat made me forget whatever happened after that.

When his fingers found a waistband of my pants and started unbuttoning them, it was like a cold shower. I broke the kiss, untangling my fingers from his silky dark strands. Eyes still closed, his lips followed after me. I squeezed his fingers in my hands and he looked up at me. I could see he wasn't pleased that I stopped him, but he didn't try to pressure me.

"This part of me is not on offer," I said calmly sending him a sad smile. There wasn't reason to be mad. It was my fault in the first place, I was the one to provoke him. "For you it might be just another one night stay that you forget all about very next morning, but I'm different." I stood up fixing my clothes. "I take male to bed only when I have feelings for him and vice versa." He frowned, ready to say something. "I'm trying to say.. for me it isn't just sex.. To do it, I need real relationship, real feelings, security.. Lust isn't enough. I'm sorry." I left quickly and he didn't try to stop me this time.

Next day early in the morning I left to collect data at camps. Work helped me to forget about that night, but as soon as I stopped, it all returned. The most scary thing was to return back to Velaris and meet him. So I extended my stay as much as possible.

Four months later I was sitting in a sitting room of River House, chatting with Feyre and Mor by the fireplace after the family dinner. I collected all data to get some presentable results and currently I was half through writing in down. (Just between us, the rumors have proven to be true. Larger wingspan equals bigger you-know-what)

It was few weeks since I returned to Velaris and so far Azriel was avoiding me as much as possible. When we happened to be in the same room, he didn't even acknowledge me, looking the other side. So much for my fear.

Did it hurt? As hell. He was my friend. The feelings he awakened that night also didn't disappear over night, haunting me down every spare minute I had. I pushed them deep down, but it was too late. I'd already fallen for him.

During our stay at camps, Mor found out that something must have happened before we left, but she'd never asked about it. Which I was very grateful for. I wasn't ready to talk about it.

Now she kept peeking somewhere behind me, biting on her lower lip, unusually silent. Something was obviously bothering her. I could ask her straight away, but I decided to give her 5 minutes to see if she would start to talk on her own. It took exactly 3 minutes.

"Uhm, Y/N, tell me. Something happened between you and Az?"

"I may have hurt his male ego. Why?" I replied as casually as possible.

"He keeps eyeing you and I know that look too well. He watched me like that for five centuries, but it's never turned into something so... Desperate?" She turned to Feyre. "What do you think?"

Feyre inconspicuously peeked behind me, too. "Yeah, definitely desperate. And sad. Rhys said that lately he isn't himself. As if something was wrong with him? Maybe bothered him? But he won't talk about it."

Mor nodded. I had the urge to turn around and see for myself, but I resisted.

"What happened?" Mor asked and Feyre leaned closer, eager for details.

"Well, he kind of misunderstood the situation.. and I told him.. that I don't do the one night stay thing.."

"He actually went after you?" Mor beamed lowering her voice.

"Not really. I might have provoked him a bit," I reluctantly admitted.

They giggled like small girls, looking at each other.

"Y/N, believe me when I tell you that you can't provoke him," Mor whispered enthusiastically. "Nobody is able to break him. He is like.. granite."

"There must be something more behind it," Feyre added. "You should go and talk to him."

"You should," Mor agreed. "He looks to be on the verge of total breakdown." She again peeked behind me. "Go. Right. Now."

They both gave me nod, stood up and moved to another chat group. I stayed alone, just like Azriel who sat in an alcove with window behind me. I inhaled deeply, slowly breathing out. I could at least give it a try. Standing up I took my glass and walked to him.

"Hey."

"Hey," he answered lowly. I hardly heard him. His face was as unreadable as usually, but his impossibly beautiful hazel eyes.. Yeah, they were right. He looked to be on verge of breakdown. Even his posture was all wrong. Slumped shoulders, hunched over, wings hanging down. The shadows hoovered around him like embodiment of his current mood.

"Everything alright?"

He nodded looking away. Ouch. He didn't want to talk with me. I probably hurt his ego more than I thought. I was lost for words. Did he expect me to apologise? I certainly wouldn't do that. I had every right to stop him back then.

Oh, male and their ego. Suddenly memories of my ex flooded my mind. And I got mad. Rage was the only emotion that never disappeared completely nor healed.

I turned around, ready to leave before I could take it out on the wrong person. Strong fingers wrapped around my arm, stopping me. They held me gently, but firmly. I looked back at Azriel and all the rage was gone instantly.

"Would you mind to it down with me?"

I couldn't speak, still shocked by the pain in his eyes. Just when I was seated in the alcove, he released me and sat back down, too. Silence stretched between us.

"I meant to say this much sooner," he started slowly. "I'm so sorry for my poor behaviour. I'm so ashamed." My fingers curled into fist, but I didn't dare to interrupt him. "I know you were just joking to make me feel better, to relax. I knew it even back then. I wish I could explain why I did it, but I can't. I was.. dick."

And how big dick. I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself. This was serious situation. But in all seriousness, he broke the records. Nobody had bigger than him.

"I should have covered with towel as you asked me. I shouldn't have stopped you. I shouldn't have kissed you," he whispered the last sentence. "I should even be sorry that I kissed you, but I am not. I wanted it. Really wanted. Still want it. I'm trash." He stood up quickly. I managed to pull him back down before he could run away. My pulse skyrocketed.

Waitwaitwait. Had he just said that he still wanted to kiss me? My rational part demanded answers. I had to solve this question before my reckless heart could come to own conclusion. I didn't need another heartbreak.

I looked deep into his eyes. I looked only for truth and nothing else. "Tell me, Az, why? Why do you still want it?"

He blushed fiercely and tried to look away, but I wouldn't let him. "Please."

"I..love you," he whispered and my heart stopped for second only to start racing at a crazy pace later.

I wasn't sure he really said that. That must be just my imagination, right? I gazed at beautiful, elegant Elain with big doe eyes sitting on the other side of room, laughing with her sisters. Yeah, I imagined it. But when my eyes slid back to him, he was gazing right back, tensed, waiting.

"I'm sorry. I think I misheard," I smiled nervously.

"I said.. I love you," Azriel repeated quietly, but clearly.

A single tear rolled down my cheek. I didn't think. I couldn't. I just surged forward and hugged him. He stiffened for a heartbeat and then his strong arms wrapped around me and held me firmly. Another tear followed the first one and then another, until it turned into an endless stream. I felt a cool touch of his shadows. They hid us from prying eyes. Or so I thought.

World tilted to the side and we were in my office where it all had started.

"More private," Azriel whispered when I released him to take a look around, confused.

I quickly wiped tears away. "Oh." I still wasn't ready to talk. My head was a total mess. Love. Azriel just told me he loved me. And he was still waiting for my answer. But I wasn't currently able to put the words together to make even a simple sentence.

"Do you need water?" he offered, helping me to sit to an armchair, the very same armchair where he.. Nope, I couldn't think about it now. It would be too much.

What was the question? Ah, water.. Did I need it? I nodded anyway and he handed me a glass. I emptied it immediately.

Azriel watched me carefully as if I could explode any second. I was trying to find something to ground me and my eyes fell to the notebook. "Wingspan," I blurted. His brows furrowed. "You have the largest wingspan."

He huffed in amusement. "Do I?" Azriel took a step back, his eyes were sad again.

Maybe I was crazy, but I reached out and pulled him down on me. "I believe I still haven't repaid for your help."

He shook his head. " You don't have to-"

"I want." I cupped his cheeks between my hands. He hesitated searching my face, his body tensed above me.

Azriel slowly leaned down and kissed me. It was nothing like the last kiss driven by lust and desire. This kiss was careful, exploring. I pushed against his shoulder and we exchanged our positions.

Just like the last time, Azriel was sitting in the armchair and I was above him. I made sure there was space between us. I didn't want to provoke him, sex was out of the question yet. He knew it, too, and kept his hands on my waist.

I deepened the kiss and soon enough we both turned into a panting mess. Azriel's moan startled me.

"I'm sorry," he rasped.

I giggled. "You moaned back then, too."

"I can't help it," he smiled. Azriel leaned forward, keeping small space between us. He hid his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply again and again. "Touch them."

I swallowed. "What?"

"You can touch them," he spread his wings wide around us. "I've never allowed anybody to touch them. But now I want you to do so."

I was speechless second time today. Sacred Illyrian wings and he asked me to touch them. This was Illyrian way to say he trusted me. He trusted me even with his life.

I ran my fingers through his soft hair. "You know that.. there will be no sex today nor any time soon.." I hoped it came out as a joke. Truthful, but still joke.

He laughed breathlessly. "I know. That doesn't change the fact I want you to touch them. You said you want to repay me. So please.." He kissed the sensitive spot under my ear.

He got me there. If he only knew what he had called upon himself. I wanted to touch them, badly, but not only because they were his. I wanted it because I was the damn researcher which equals to a monster at times. I longed to feel the texture of the skin, to feel every single bone and muscle in them, everything.

"Are you really sure about this?" My attention was already trained on the beautiful enormous wings around me. This was his last chance to back out of this.

"Absolutely. So put those damn little hands of yours on them already," he rasped, landing another kiss to that sensitive spot.

He didn't need to repeat it again.

I gasped as tips of my fingers traced the soft skin around the bone. It. Was. Perfect. I expected them to be cold and rough to touch. Even though I touched him just lightly, I could feel every single muscle, even the smallest ones. The bone seemed to be so fragile and strong at the same time. Skin was so warm, stretchy and impossibly soft like baby's skin. I mapped every vein running through the membranes, his pulse drumming under my hands. I traced every scarred tissue I found, paying it extra attention.

I was so immersed into exploring his wings that I hadn't noticed what my curiosity did to Azriel until he came under me with a wall shattering roar. I winced, looking down at him.

His head was tilted back, eyes closed tightly. He was trembling and panting, his broad chest heaving heavily. Streams of sweat were running down the column of his exposed neck. His hands were fisting the material of armrests so tightly he almost torn it into shreds.

I couldn't believe I'd missed something so..amazing. Azriel was a piece of art in every possible meaning. My fingers traced the vein that bobbed out on his neck. He shuddered, his eyes slowly opened, looking up at me. Shadowsinger smiled weakly. "Only you can do this to me," his voice was hoarse.

I brushed away a damp strand of hair that fell to his forehead. My heart was beating wildly as I leaned in and kissed him slowly and deeply. His hands embraced me, pulling me closer.

"I love you," I whispered to his mouth.

I wasn't scared anymore. In this very moment I was more confident than ever that I would spend the rest of my life with this perfect male. Because he was mine and I was his.

[agvstdr]

Isolated - Sam Winchester

Summary: The Winchester brothers have decided to split up, each going their own way. But will Sam really be alone?

a few months ago sam and dean decided to split up. the news reached me while i was in the car with the intention of reaching them, to find a solution to stop the apocalypse.

so i asked myself what to do, whether to follow sam and help him have a normal life or whether to help dean: anyone could think that the right choice is to follow dean and help the world but it is clear that dean does not want me to follow him, perhaps because he knows that i am very attached to sam. so i was left alone too, i followed some cases, killing monsters that came my way: losing news of both winchesters. at the end of a particularly difficult case, i stop at the first bar i find on the road, when i enter i immediately realize that a bartender is sam.

"sam?"

the girl next to him, looks first at me and then at him, surely wondering what kind of relationship there is between us.

"isn't your name kit?" the girl asks sam who nods

i then understand that he hasn't revealed his real name and i understand that i got him in trouble.

"it's my middle name." he answers making her laugh

"yes, his middle name is samuel, that makes more sense." i add trying to help him

"how do you know each other?" the girl asks again, who is starting to be too curious for my taste.

"we've been friends for many years." I answer hoping she'll leave us alone, when she doesn't it's sam who intervenes.

"come on i'll buy you a beer."

"what are you doing here? were you hunting?"

"yeah, a ghost pissed off with his family."

i know he wants to ask me something and i know what it is: he wants to know about dean.

"i don't know anything about dean, if you want to know, i offered to help him but he refused, we haven't spoken since." i explain and he nods, he was definitely hoping i knew something about his brother and i'm sorry i can't help him. we don't have time to say anything else, that a group of hunters, easily recognizable, enters the bar and starts talking to sam: they are talking far from where i am sitting, so i can't understand what they are asking him but it is clear that whatever it is, sam said no.

"they wanted help with some demons that are roaming the city, i said no."

"i could have gone." i say getting up to join the hunters who have just left the place, sam, however, stops me.

"no, i don't trust them, stay here."

i do as i say, and i stay with him until the bar closes.

the calm atmosphere is interrupted by two hunters who had entered a few hours before: one of them points a knife at the girl's throat while the other starts talking to sam, ignoring me.

"demons killed my friend but they said some interesting things about you."

"demons lie."

"then tell me it's not true that you drank demon blood and that you didn't start the apocalypse."

a deep silence falls in the bar, sam can't deny the truth.

"then it's true." says the hunter as he looks at something in his hands

"either you drink this and help us kill the last demons that are left or she dies."

i realize that what she has in her hands is demon blood.

i look at sam with wide eyes, hoping with all my heart that he doesn't drink that blood, or he will go back to a few months ago.

i can't risk sam drinking it, so i quickly pull out my gun and kill the hunter who had his knife pointed at the girl's throat, who manages to free herself and runs to me for protection. in the meantime sam starts to fight against the hunter who had offered him blood: when he is about to kill him, he stops, seeing both me and the girl looking at him, yet we both know that if this man stays alive he will only create problems.

i don't think twice about pulling out my gun again and killing him too.

"you didn't have to kill him but thank you."

sam and i meet back in the hotel room, after he offers me a roof over my head for the night.

"it had to be done, no problem." i smile at him and he smiles back

we sit in silence for a few moments, sitting next to each other, then i decide to speak my mind.

"i'm not mad at you sam, sure i'm sorry about what happened but i understand why you did it. and even if it doesn't seem like it, dean will too, he just needs time."

sam looks at me and seems really surprised by my words: it's definitely not what he expected.

"thank you so much."

then unexpectedly he rests his head on my shoulder, as if he's looking for comfort and I hope he's receiving it.

sitting next to sam, in such an intimate way, I understand that my place is here with him.

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 11

<<previous chapter | next chapter>>

Masterlist

…

Diego was heated, he had a vengeful look in his eyes that showed that. I was asleep for most of the ride back to his house because of how early it was in the morning but when I was up I could hear him muttering things to himself. He wanted Hazel and Cha-Cha dead and I don’t blame him.

They took away his lover, I don’t know anything about their relationship but I could tell she meant everything to him. When you lose a lover you’ll do anything to bring them back and avenge them, even if they're not sensible. There was no one to stop me from the things I did when I lost Ben, but Diego doesn't have to go through the same thing.

I'll be here for him if he needs me and if he doesn't want to kill me too.

When he noticed I was awake his grip on the steering wheel was a clear indication that he was about to burst. I readied myself for anything thrown my way while activating my powers.

But he didn't do anything to harm me, instead, he took a deep breath. “What do you know about Five’s behavior since he’s been back?” Diego asked me.

“What?” I whispered confusedly.

He scoffs. "What has he been doing? You should know, since every time you leave the academy it's with him.”

Was that true? I can’t keep track of what I do anymore. There are too many side plots in my life taking away my thoughts from the actual big thing, the apocalypse.

Instead of making eye contact with him, I look out the window as I speak. “Look, Five’s not exactly an open book. The first time I found him outside of the academy, I was trying to go into Griddy’s. And what do I find? The boy surrounded by a bunch of dead soldiers?”

Diego hung onto every word I said, trying to piece together if I was as crazy as Five was or actually telling the truth. “Then he tells me to cut this tracker thing out of his arm. He blinks us into Vanya’s house to tell us the world is ending in a couple of days. I mean can you believe that?” I rambled.

He stops the car in the middle of the busy road, and the tires let out a horrible screech. “What did you say?” He whispers, turning to me slowly. Not caring about the blasting horns from cars around us.

“The world is ending in four days?”

..

Once we reached the dojo, Diego bolted out of the car not stopping for anything, not even questions from poor Al who was just wondering if he helped Eudora or not.

“Diego, don’t do something you’re going to regret. Five isn’t the enemy here.” I cut in front of his long stride.

“Well, he sure as hell isn’t innocent either.” He pushes past me and slams open his front door.

Luther and Five were in there just where we left them last night. And Five seemed to be finally sober and he sat upright on Diego’s bed, in a conversation with the man sitting in front of him.

“Piece of shit.” Diego roared out as he tried to tackle Five. “Do you have any idea what you just did?”

I grabbed onto the back of his shirt to pull him back but he slipped out of my grasp. But instead of landing on Five, Diego was met by the solid body of Luther, who stopped him. “Nope, let me— Get your ape hands off of me!” He screams.

Luther remains calm with Diego wiggling around in the air. “I can do this as long as it takes you to calm down.”

“Fine.” Diego pants and then gets dropped onto the ground. Luther stares at me from behind all of this. He gives me a what's going on type glance but all I can do is look at Five.

“Now, you wanna tell us what you’re talkin' about?” Luther asked.

“These two have been pretty busy since Five got back.” Diego starts. “They were in the middle of the shootout at Griddy’s, and then Five was at Gimble Brothers after the guys in masks attacked the Academy; looking for him.” He pieced together information that I told him during the car ride to put me and Five at the center of blame.

“Seriously Diego?” I ask.

“None of which is any of your concern.” Five spoke up for the first time since we walked in.

“It is now, they just killed my friend.”

Luther looks at me “You’re involved with this Y/n?”

Before I get a chance to defend myself I'm cut off by Five. “No, she’s not, I just needed her for her abilities.” Who answers too quickly for that to be true.

“Yes, her perfect abilities. Y/n, you wanna tell Luther what you told me.”

“I barely know the details, Diego, this isn’t my story to tell, ask the time traveler who was there!”

We were all rapid-fire arguing with one another. And no one could hear the exact words we were saying because of how much we spoke over each other. But overall was Diego not believing me, me trying to say how lost I was and Five explaining this was still none of his business. Luther just stared blankly.

“Hey, hey, hey hey,” Luther yells.

“What!” The three of us yell back.

“Shut the hell up. Five I want answers, who are these masked people and what does Y/n mean about the end of the world? I want these answers now, the two of you wait your turn.” Probably the first time Luther has gotten anyone to be quiet, he sounds like a leader.

Five looks down “They work for my former employer. A woman called The Handler. She sent them.. to stop me. Then, as soon as Diego’s friend got in their way, well, fair game.”

“That’s cruel Five.” I cut in.

Diego takes a step closer to him and gets up in his face. “And now they’re my fair game. And I'm gonna see to it they pay.” He grits his teeth.

“That would be a mistake, Diego. They’ve killed people far more dangerous than you.”

“Oh yeah well we’ll see about that.”

Diego was ready to take action and leave but Luther held him in place for the answer to his final question. “So when is it supposed to happen? This apocalypse.”

“Well I can’t give you the exact hour, but.. from what I could gather. We have four days left.”

Luther gawks at him. “Why didn't you mention it to all of us sooner?”

“It wouldn't have mattered.” He sighs.

“Of course, it would! We could’ve banded together and helped you try and stop this thing.”

“For the record, you already tried.”

“What do you mean?” Diego asks grumpily.

Five is quiet, he tries to find the best way to say this so that his brothers don’t go crazy. “I found you guys. Your bodies.”

“We all die?” I questioned. That couldn’t have been right, in his journal someone was alive. But I couldn’t make out the name since Diego pulled all of us away to find Five.

“Horribly.” Five says, “all except for one.” He gazes at me.

My body shutters. “The one you wrote about in your book. The one who was still alive in all of the rummage, that was me?”

Why didn't my future self come back with Five to this timeline. What happened?

He answered my suspicions like he was reading my mind. “You were dying slowly Y/n, whoever ended the world did more damage to you than the regular human. We were together for a while and you aged the same as me, slowly. But when The Handler came to me, you didn’t want anything to do with it. Said you had gone through enough pain.”

“I don’t know what happened to you after.” Five said with an undertone of sadness, the best he could probably give without sobbing.

I think I have an idea what happened, I told myself I would never do it. But life has been hard ever since I was young, especially after losing Ben. In the future, I think I killed myself and forced my body to not heal.

This is what Reginald feared I'd do, but even if he made my blood into a healing solution he wouldn't be there to use it on me. It’s a scary thought, but I won't bring it up to them.

Five went on to explain that we worked as a team since all of our bodies were lying in rubble. And the MeriTech eye was worn by the person we were fighting since it was in Luther’s clasped hand. And then he told us about where he worked, the commission.

He went to all kinds of different time periods and killed people who messed with the timeline, and in exchange, he would eventually get to go home. But while being sent out on a mission to kill John F. Kennedy decided that he was going to disobey. And tried to get back to us on his own, so he could save us and save the world.

That's what we saw during Reginald’s funeral. But he messed up the equations and got stuck as a kid. Luther looked on in horror at Five's actions but this only seemed to fuel Diego's rage against Hazel and Cha-Cha.

Me though, I just wanted to go hug Benny.

“So where do we go from now?” I quietly ask the group.

“I'm tracking down those lunatics,” Diego mutters while leaving the room. Luther gasps. “I gotta find Allison and tell her.” Leaving me and Five, in Diego’s room.

“I just have one more question,” I say. “Did I tell you who ends the world?”

“No, all you said was, it wasn't her fault.” he says disappointed. I rack my brain trying to understand what that meant. I know this person personally.

“I know this doesn't make sense, I wish I knew more too. The best thing we can do is keep trying to solve this.” He says.

“I can’t go back to the academy right now, Five. Diego needs someone, even if he doesn't want it to be me. I need to do something.”

He sighs. “You always feel the need to help us Y/n, and what about yourself? Diego will chase you away and make you feel small then what, you're gonna force yourself to help him anyways?”

“I know I can’t fix everything, I can't heal emotions. But I can give someone an avenue to take their feelings out. Even if that's at my own expense. I don’t care.”

Five eyes widen when he looks at me. “Y/n..”

“It’ll be fine, trust me. And if it doesn't work, I'll come back to the academy and find you okay?” I say as I try to lighten the mood.

He only nods but lets me go anyway. I give him a meaningless smile as I leave the room, knowing I shared too much information and gave away a part of myself I hoped others would never comment on.

..

I let her leave to help him, even though it's going to amount to nothing. I just couldn’t help it, her kind but harmful manner got to me, and she’s too nice for her own good. Just like she was in the apocalypse..

But they had their differences too, even though their brains only differed a couple of days from each other. That Y/n lost her spark and this one is slowly draining herself of it. Delores tells me not to think too much about her, but how can I not? I left her there to die. And it's haunted me ever since.

I remember that day when I found her in the rummage. I was young and scared since I couldn’t blink back home. It took me a while to recognize whose body lay with my siblings, but it was the newest addition to the fucked up regiment Reginald made.

She was faintly moving before she started to cough up blood and debris. She was also very malnourished and scared, so once she was able to get up we started to talk. Not about the apocalypse because every time I asked she dodged the topic.

We stayed together in the wasteland of crushed buildings and fire, eating scraps that made her throw up. Her body wasn’t retaining any food, sleep, or healing abilities but she always told me she was okay.

I caught her a few times talking to herself, about my siblings and how sorry she was that she couldn’t save them from her. It was just us, and Delores for so many years.

I aged into an old man at the same time she did. But during that, she stayed small and weak. Like she was on the brink of dying, a fact I didn't want to think about. I couldn’t survive without her, I'd go crazy.

Then The Handler arrived and offered us both a chance to get out of there. I looked at her for an answer but she looked lost. I was glad to get out of this hellhole but weary for the future with this not trustworthy company. But I had her, the two of us could get through it.

Instead of sharing my excitement, she tells me to go without her. Saying that she’s likely to die anyway and that she’s tired of chasing a perfect world that doesn't exist. I explained to her I'd go through that with her but she’s dead set on going.

“My life is over Five.” She wheezes. “And I'm okay with that, I got to live it with you and everyone else. But you, you can keep going. Avenge this world and maybe someday we can be happy again.”

I try to speak but she cuts me off. “Maybe if I'm lucky enough, I'll finally get to see Ben!”

That broke me the most and with a lot of convincing from her, I was finally ready to take The Handlers offer. After goodbyes, she hugs me. “When did you get so tall?”

It was our final laugh together.

Before I left she whispered something to me away from prying eyes. “Promise me something Five.”

“Anything you want.”

“Promise me, you’ll break out of this bullshit and go back to the past.”

“What?”

“Listen. Go back to the past, how I don’t know but you're smart enough to figure it out. And stop all of this from happening, I know that's a huge thing to ask. But at least give it a try. Get back to us, get back to me, okay?”

“Of course, I'll try.” I sniffled.

“Don’t cry, do your best, live your life and try not to think about me too much.” Even then she still found a way to laugh.

“Now go before I cry too!”

She never wanted me to see her sad, or hurting even though I knew every move she made broke another part of herself. Y/n gave me one more hug before I stepped through The Handler’s briefcase portal.

I spent years trying to forget about a woman I should’ve never met. A woman I wouldn’t meet again until fulfilling her wish of going back to the past. But that version of her barely knew me, and all the things we did together. But that didn’t stop me from including her in all I did, to track down the person who ended the world. Even if she would never know about the love I had for that woman.

I was going to save my siblings and her from the apocalypse. Because I promised her I would.

…

I tried smth different this chapter tell me what u think!

Taglist: @aloflapse @isomehowexist @elenalovestoread @miscrying @gabriella-aesthetic @solarbeanz @theoriginalone1111 @water-hemlock18 @tialovesyoutoo @dakotapaigelove

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Ah thank you so much for your post on Harry's overprotectiveness and how it is deeply rooted in his fear of losing the only family he has by the end of the series not because he thinks Ginny is not capable enough

You spoke God's truth

But like seriously I have seen so many people pointing out the "problem" in Hinny and why they won't make it long term as a couple is that Harry after the war has to see Ginny as a peer not as something to be protected and that's why they are not equals... And I'm like what makes you think he doesn't see her as his equal?

Do I need to point out the number of times in HBP and DH whatever Ginny is doing Harry's reaction is a mix of "wowww my girl is doing amazing" and "OMG what is she doing, she might get herself killed and I'll die seeing just that, poor Voldy shorts would not have to put so much effort in killing me"

And I'm sure this has been pointed out before...A 15 year old Harry had a very similar reaction towards Sirius, a 30 something adult with 7 years of complete magical education, experience in fighting death eaters in Order of the Phoenix and then emotionally fighting the dementors for 12 long years.

You are welcome!

.

Harry in canon after he discovers Ginny is leading a rebellion:

This scant news made Harry want to see Ginny so badly it felt like a stomachache; but it also made him think of Ron again, and of Dumbledore, and of Hogwarts itself, which he missed nearly as much as his ex-girlfriend. - Chapter 15, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

What is true is that Harry hasn't properly processed how hurt Ginny was because he so desperately needed to believe she was safe that he would've needed to be slapped in the face with the reality, and in fact:

He spotted Ginny two tables away; she was sitting with her head on her mother’s shoulder: there would be time to talk later, hours and days and maybe years in which to talk. - Chapter 36, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

This does not mean Harry doesn't think that what Ginny did was valuable, important or a huge risk:

Harry found himself taking it out simply to stare at Ginny’s name in the girls’ dormitory, wondering whether the intensity with which he gazed at it might break into her sleep, that she would somehow know he was thinking about her, hoping that she was all right. - Chapter 16, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Harry is worried about her physical and mental well-being. But there's a difference between knowing someone is in danger/admiring them for what they are doing and being in the mental space to properly process the information of the love of your life being tortured (something that he would need to deduce from Neville's tale and he is not in the mental space to do it). It would happen once he talks with Ginny (I think Rowling should've created the situation for it once Harry talked with Neville but for reasons that have nothing to do with hinny and everything to do with the devastatingly boring plot of this book).

[I wrote about this in Back to the Eclipse if someone wants to read it.]

It's like when people say that Harry wouldn't tell Ginny things because he didn't let her in the Voldemort stuff completely ignoring that:

Dumbledore tells him to talk only with Ron and Hermione about it and he dies before Harry might start wondering why exactly he can't talk to Ginny about it and ask Albus (I would have loved to see the answer to that question)

Harry has a pathological need to protect her (which I agree is something he needs to work on but it is a direct consequence of how important she is to him and I'll argue it's a flaw that in a moderate dose balances out one of Ginny's)

Harry ends up telling Ginny his mission (killing Voldemort) anyway because he is shit at keeping things from her, as pointed out since the fifth book

Harry is so shit at keeping things from Ginny he has a hard time keeping things from Molly because she has Ginny's eye colour

When Ron gets hurt in HBP, Harry and Ginny get into an obsessive conversation about what might have happened (he is clearly comfortable in discussing important stuff with her, including his beloved mysteries)

His only plan for the future after the battle is endlessly talking with Ginny

The only thing people should deduce is that Ginny most likely spent a good part of her life being an insane security breach of the Department of Law Enforcement (to be fair to Harry: the majority of spouses of people in law enforcement are).

[theambivalentagender]

Hello all! So if you follow me, you likely also follow my comic Valley Echoes as well as any of my other art drabbles. You may also know that I've been financially limping along for some time.

For context, my day job is dog grooming. It's a "career" I came into relatively recently and honestly love. However, my location has recently been incredibly dead. I haven't been able to make commission from lack of dogs and my hours have been cut drastically.

I'm currently looking into finding extra work where I can that will still fit with my technically full time schedule. This has been a big part of why the comic updates have slowed considerably in the last few months.

In the meantime, however, I did want to show that I am available for commissions at this time. This is the first time I'd be getting into commissions, so if folks do request I just ask for patience as I figure it all out, but I'd love to be able to draw your requests. I have a vgen account that's still being set up at the moment.

I also want to plug my Patreon again - honestly, the fact you all give this much for what I do now is incredible to me. I recently met the fun "milestone" of Patreon temporarily locking access to my withdrawals because I had made enough money this year to require filling out a tax form before my funds could be released, which I did. Maybe it's silly but it made me a little happy. I also have a Kofi though that's updated less.

This next part ended up being much longer and more personal than I expected so I'll put it under a cut.

Anything at this time would help immensely. Cost of living is insane, I just turned 30 and keep wondering how much longer I'll be able to keep renting, let alone ever saving to afford a home. I'm very, very lucky in that I have support from my dad, who has honestly been one of my strongest lifelines for years. But I obviously don't want to have to keep taking so much of that support from someone who should be enjoying retirement.

There are a lot of expenses I keep having, and things I'm putting off. The ipad I use for art has been cracked for months, but is still functional thank god. I recently finally bought myself clothes that aren't falling off my body after losing over 100 lbs in the last year. I have to buy and maintain my own tools for my grooming job, and I have to maintain my own health, both mentally and physically. My left hand/arm probably has nerve impingements and muscle strains science hasn't even named yet lmao. And of course there's taking care of my two terrible feline children who cause nothing but chaos in my home and who I love dearly.

Even if you don't give monetary support though, I so, so greatly appreciate every one of you who shares, likes, or comments on my work. I just recently got an anon who I mean to reply to soon gushing about they love Valley Echoes. Nothing makes my day more than waking up to see a million notifications that's just one person liking each of my comics as they read through it the first time.

Ever since I was 6 years old I wanted to be a storyteller in some way. I used to draw my own Dilbert and Far Side comics, and I constantly wrote wild fantasy stories. But after going through college, dealing with a huge amount of stress, burnout, and just one random person online telling me that I needed to hear the harsh "truth" that my writing skills were garbage, that spark was just gone. Excluding occasional stuttering starts, I didn't really write for years.

Doing this "silly" comic and getting the feedback I have is starting to rekindle that spark. I have so many stories of my own that I'm starting to make tentative plans on producing in some way. But even if I never become some official published recognized author, I feel like just putting out this comic is fulfilling that dream I had as a kid. So thank you again, as cheesy and long winded as this post has become.

[cuffmeinblack]

2 for andrew or 8 for leander ehehehehehe

Last Chance

Andrew Larson x f!reader

“Let's ruin ourselves for anyone else.”

Tags: explicit | drug use | sex | admission of feelings

2k words

A/n: Unexpectedly confident Andrew? Sure, why not. I need to stop writing smut when I'm sick. Thank you for the request m'love <3

⤍ Andrew Larson masterlist ⤎

Quite how you found yourself in the boathouse on the last night of term wasn't clear. It had likely been the only unoccupied place in the entire castle grounds. The astronomy tower had been claimed, as had most of the classrooms and even the greenhouses—a flash of ginger and rustling amongst the dittany had you rushing out of there before you saw anything that would require scrubbing from memory. It was cool despite the hot weather, the spray from the lake soaking every inch of the worn planks underfoot that flexed and creaked with every tentative step. None of this mattered, though, once you met Andrew's warm chestnut eyes that seemed to draw you in, quite literally. He was so close, so warm and solid and tempting. Expectation hung thick in the muggy air despite the very innocent request that you'd prefer to find somewhere quiet to talk, away from the raucous parties within the castle.

When Andrew finally broke the silence it was with small talk. “I can't believe it's really over.”

“I know. It's bittersweet, isn't it?”

You pulled a small tin out of your robe pocket, the Honeydukes logo scratched and worn from years of use. Andrew watched, likely expecting an offer of a sherbet, but inside lay a healthy stash of mallowsweet, already rolled and neatly packed. “Do you want one?” you asked, expecting an emphatic ‘no’ from the straight-laced Ravenclaw, but to your great surprise he nodded. You smiled and offered the tin, his delicate fingers pinching a cigarette and holding it awkwardly as far away from his body as humanly possible. “Would you do the honours?”

Andrew blinked and then withdrew his wand, producing a tiny flickering flame from the tip. The first drag warmed your throat and filled your chest, the potent mallowsweet working wonders to calm your nerves that you knew had everything to do with being here with Andrew. The man himself spluttered a little but got the hang of it after a while. The quietly stifled coughs and the way he tucked his hand under his opposite arm and shuffled about as if he had no idea how to stand was so endearing you might have kissed him then. You'd been saying as such for over a year, and now…now it was too late.

“I didn't think you'd take me up on the offer,” you admitted.

“Well, it is our last night, and I don't know how many opportunities I'll have to do so working for the Ministry.”

“You’re right, my money's on opium.”

Andrew's eyes widened and you chuckled and nudged him playfully.

“Is there anything you'll regret not doing before you leave this place?” he asked, suddenly serious.

You blew a stream of smoke into the air and tossed your stub to the ground where it fizzled, flame dying beneath your boot. The question was innocuous enough, but it was as if he'd read your mind, or perhaps correctly discerned why you both stood in the dank boathouse on a warm Summer's night. The truth had seemed far too risky to speak until now. The friendship you'd cultivated with Andrew was special; a fragile and beautiful thing that you couldn't bear to lose due to one unrequited admission. Besides, he was to relocate to London and you…well, you would be sent wherever Gringotts deemed necessary, tracing old rumours of forgotten treasures. You'd made peace with the fact; the nomadic lifestyle you'd expect from your chosen career path. Until now.

“There is one thing,” you replied vaguely, watching him closely. He leaned back against a wooden pillar and gazed down at the lapping waters that swayed the row boats with a faint and rhythmic clatter. To hell with it. “I regret not asking for more between us.”

He swallowed hard, and exhaled heavily. You weren't sure if he'd expected the answer or not, but either way it had unsettled him. When he looked up through the strands of dislodged ashen hair, your heart momentarily stopped. His pupils were blown, cheeks flushed the softest pink you'd ever seen. Everything around him grew hazy and dreamlike.

“Me too. I've been a bit of a coward, haven't I?”

He stepped closer now, salt spray unable to mask the scent of mallowsweet and patchouli. Maybe a hint of citrus. 

“Maybe we both have been.” The mood suddenly shifted from awkward anticipation into something solemn and regretful. It really was too late. “We could have been good together, I think.”

Andrew sighed and slipped a hand around your waist, the movement sending a pleasant tingle up your spine. His nose brushed the tip of yours, lips parted and warm, shuddering breaths mingled for far too long. The tension was unbearable and your fingers were clasped so tightly into the cloth of his shirt it must have strained at the seams. He might have been considering his actions—how wise this was, the pros and cons of giving in, like a truly analytical Ravenclaw—or perhaps he was just too shy to close the distance.

“If you kiss me I don’t think I’ll want to stop,” you muttered. It might have been a warning, or maybe an enticement, but it was the truth. Another sharp inhale and a tighter grip, now Andrew’s lips hovered so close to your own there was barely space between to draw your own breath. There was something distinctly intimate about sharing each other’s air.

“Is that a promise?” His reply sent more than a shiver up your spine—it set your very nerves on fire, insides squirming and tension pooling. Your eyelids fluttered closed as you nodded, practically falling into the kiss that followed. Your back hit a wall soon after in the frantic and desperate entwining of bodies, as if a dam had exploded the moment your lips touched. One more chance to make a memory, one final hurrah. This was setting you up for heartbreak come morning, but none of that mattered now, not in this blissful moment when you finally got the answers to the questions of how Andrew tasted, what his body felt like pressed against you, how he kissed and touched and moaned (delicious, firm, enticingly, possessively, breathily). His mouth was at your throat and suddenly it was impossible to breathe. The way he encircled your waist to hold you in place, the gentle suction at your nape and the leg that slid between your thighs spoke of a confidence and experience you hadn’t expected.

“I can’t stand the thought of anyone else…,” you said before he slid you forward onto his thigh. The friction made you gasp his name, right into his waiting mouth.

“Don’t,” he breathed back.

His body had stilled except for the circles his thumbs pressed into your waist, and then he pulled back just enough to look at you. There was more than friendship, more than lust in that look.

“I wish we had done this last year,” you admitted.

“Would you still have taken the job as a cursebreaker?”

“I don’t know.”

He smiled sadly and brushed a stray lock of hair from your face. “If tonight is all we have, let's ruin ourselves for anyone else.”

The words elicited such a visceral reaction you almost whimpered and you pulled him firmly by his shirt to close the distance between you. Your hand found his hair and gripped him tightly, letting the last of your inhibitions melt away with his kiss. Tears of longing fell behind closed lids, the pain of time wasted and what could have been driving you closer. Your fingers fumbled at his shirt buttons, the last two ripped away in a desperate need to feel his skin warm against yours. Andrew had already shrugged off your top layer with deft hands and was exploring the slope between neck and shoulder with his tongue. Words weren’t enough, so instead you concentrated on the frenzied merging of body and soul.

A large hand kneaded your breast as he groaned against your skin, and then you felt the unmistakeable hard length grinding against your hip. His name fell unbidden from your lips in a heady haze of arousal and sweet pleasure. His other hand had found its way between your thighs and was gently caressing the fabric of your undergarments. It wasn’t enough to relieve the throbbing ache, not at all, no matter how much you ground your hips against his fingers.

“Andrew, please...” You pleaded without shame, dipping your hand below the hem of your skirt to pull at your underwear and wriggle free with his help. His hand came back up to meet bare skin, then pressed further to find you wet and quivering. 

“Fuck.” The expletive caught you off guard and was as shocking as Andrew having his fingers circling your clit. You let out a shuddering moan of relief as his slick digits began a rhythmic caress. You were vaguely aware of his cock nudging your hip again and his tongue sliding across yours between gasping moans. It was rather sloppy and entirely wonderful. Your fingers managed to unbutton his trousers whilst partially dazed and writhing with the sweet escalation of your climax. You felt the weight of him, his girth filling your hand. Then he let out an absolutely filthy moan once you started to stroke him.

“I need you inside me right now,” you commanded.

His fingers carried on their tight circles as he thrusted into your hand—as if he hadn’t heard you at all—until suddenly the pressure was gone and he retreated. As if he’d slapped you, your mouth fell open in shock and indignation until he spun you around, hands planted firmly against the wall. His cock slid between your cheeks whilst he spread your legs and pressed his chest against your heaving back, kissing every available inch of skin around your neck, jaw, forehead.

You braced yourself as you felt him nudge at your entrance, dripping wet against his twitching cock. Nails scraped the wall and gathered dirt beneath your nails and your head fell back against his shoulder as he pushed inside you. The stretch was gloriously satisfying, and once he’d filled as much as you could take, he turned your head to press his lips to yours. There was no time for second guessing, no question of turning back now.

Stars perforated your vision as soon as he started to move in earnest, withdrawing almost all the way before plunging back inside you, over and over again. He found your breasts again, massaging in time to each roll of his hips. Groans and gasping moans filled the cavernous structure, loud and completely unimpeded. His name, your name, begging for more and harder, faster, until you couldn’t stop the explosion that rattled your brains and turned your body to a limp mess. The orgasm tore through you, only barely aware of Andrew holding your neck as he pounded into you before shuddering and spilling his release, warm and wet and so copious it ran down your thigh. Your hand that looped around the back of his neck kept him close as the last pulses faded away. Not that he seemed interested in going anywhere; he held you tightly and murmured against your skin for quite some time.

It was so perfect you almost wept.

“Ask me to stay,” you said, quite unexpectedly.

A moment passed, silent.

“Stay. Stay with me.”

Perhaps it was the beautiful afterglow but when you looked back at your so-called friend you couldn’t say deny him. The thought of leaving felt unthinkable, the mere suggestion that you go your separate ways and love another was unacceptable. A great lump formed in your throat when you kissed him again, the terrifying truth that he meant more than the career you’d planned for yourself.

“Ask me again in the morning.”

“Will you change your mind before then?” he asked.

“No, but I like the illusion that it’s a hard decision.”

Andrew smiled, his shy demeanour returning despite still being buried inside you. It had started to rain, the gentle patter a soothing backdrop as you both cleaned up and dressed, slowly and with plenty of lingering gazes over one another. You saw warmth and affection reflected in his eyes. As he took your hand without question, you realised it was time to return to the festivities and revel in the fact that the entire trajectory of your life had just changed. Maybe it was reckless, but you supposed some things, some people were worth taking a chance on.

[the-marshals-wife]

Keep Me Close (Tech x Reader)

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

*BELOW THE CUT THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR S2 EP 8: TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES*

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day, babes! I'm hitting two mynocks with one stone: writing something short and sweet for my favorite Batcher and processing my emotions over [redacted].

Description: Tech x Fem!Reader Batcher, semi-established relationship (there's an unspoken thing *wink*) | Warnings: none, hurt+comfort fluff | Word count: 804 | Gif credit: user dreamswithghosts

★ Bad Batch Tag List ★ @dantes-devil-huntress @sageislostinspring @sweetheart-bo (comment to be added!)

Imagine being unable to sleep, upset by Echo's departure, and turning to Tech for comfort

The ship was stuffy. Your mind was full. The future was uncertain. It was the perfect mixture of reasons to be restless.

You'd removed the top half of your blacks and tied it around your waist, putting on a tank top in hopes of cooling down. Sitting on the lowered ramp of The Marauder, you stared into the misty night sky, feeling trapped by the stale silence. Your eyes began to sting, emotions starting to overcome you. How could so much have changed so quickly?

The sound of footsteps pulled you from your troubled thoughts, and you didn't have to turn around to know who approached. The rapid tapping of gloved fingers on a datapad was enough for you to recognize him.

"You are unable to sleep," Tech says.

It wasn't a question. He'd just stated it as a fact, as he did with most things.

"Not really," you answer, quickly wiping at your eyes.

"I suspect there is a reason," he begins, sitting down beside you, "Would it ease your mind if you shared your concerns with me?"

Your heart skipped at the prospect, and at how near he was.

"I'll be alright, really," you hesitate, trying to compose yourself.

"The tension in your voice and your constrained body language suggests otherwise," he replies, putting away his datapad.

You can't help but chuckle, "Nothing gets past you, does it?"

"Not really," he parrots your words. He removes his helmet and puts it aside. You're surprised to see he's smiling ever-so-slightly.

You sigh, trying put your many thoughts into words. "We've all lost so much. After all our fighting and all our running, sometimes I've wondered what it was all for. But I thought as long as we stayed together, things would be alright. We would figure it out because together we had hope. Now, I'm afraid that we've lost it."

Tech pushes up his goggles before responding.

"I know it may seem that way, but Echo did not leave because he had no hope," he offers, "He believes that there are better ways apart from this squad that he can help preserve hope, and if he is successful, pass it on to others."

"I thought we were already doing that," you reply, shaking your head, "I know we have to be careful, especially for Omega's sake, and we can't fight The Empire the same way others can, but I thought we were making some kind of difference."

"Echo's departure does not necessarily signify failure in our pursuits."

"But aren't we stronger together than apart?" you ask, looking to him.

Tech blinks slowly, visibly weighing your question. Surely he is bothered by all this too?

"Theoretically, yes. But our objections cannot change what has happened," he admits.

Your gaze falls back to your boots, shame setting in. How selfish you must sound. "You're right. I don't think less of Echo. Truly I don't," you say, holding your arms, "I just don't want to lose this squad, and I really don't want to lose..."

You were desperate to say it, but the word caught in your throat. Tears threaten to return. This is not how it was supposed to go. Squeezing your eyes shut, you bow your head, hoping he wouldn't see your entire façade crumbling.

You nearly jump as you feel his hand gently clasp your shoulder. You look up to see his soft brown eyes, full of warmth and understanding.

"I do not have plans to go any place where you cannot also be," he affirms, "And I intend to never make such plans."

A tear slips down your cheek as you choke back a sob. Whatever was left of your composure, he'd just destroyed it, and somehow it was the push you needed.

You lean over to rest your head on his chest. You hold your breath as you feel him tense up at the contact. Fear washes over you that you've gone too far, and you're about to sit up, but then he carefully wraps his arm around you, holding you close.

You purse your lips, trying not to grin. How long you had waited for this moment. Heart racing, you close your eyes and wish for time to stop. So many words had passed between you over the months, but now you could barely speak.

"Tech?" you breathe.

"Yes?"

"I never want to make those kinds of plans either," you say, relaxing into him more.

"It's settled then," he confirms, proceeding to rest his chin upon the top of your head.

It was settled. You knew with absolute certainty that this is where you wanted to be. You were stronger together, and no matter what became of the galaxy, together you and Tech would stay.

[radiant-reid]

HEYY! can you please do a blurb on spencer telling his gf about the lila thing and down playijg it how you say in the post but then she hears the truth from someone else

Spencer’s dreading tell you what happened in LA.

It’ll break your heart, and although he would prefer he’s the one hurting, it’ll break his heart as well. It’s not going to be good. No, it’s going to be a hurtful conversation that will leave nothing but negative feelings and as he’s waking to your door, he wishes it were a conversation he didn’t need to have.

You look and sound so happy jumping up to greet him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling his body into yours. It’s been a while since you’ve seen him, the profiling seminar being extended for a serial killer hunt- so his texts told you.

“Hi, sweetheart.” He greets you, wishing he could relax in the warmth that being with you brings. He really wants to, but he doesn’t allow himself to. Not when he doesn’t deserve it.

“How was your case?” You ask, pulling him through your apartment to your living room.

Spencer bites down on his bottom lip, knowing it’s now or never, except it can’t be never. “I was playing bodyguard and I got dragged into a pool and kissed.”

Your mouth falls open, heart plummeting straight down and preparing to shatter against concrete. “What?” You ask breathlessly.

“She kissed me.” He repeats, forcing himself to look at your tears. He needs to see them as his own form of punishment, although it will never be enough. He keeps talking before you can make any move to get him away from you. “I pushed her off, Y/n, I swear. It was one kiss and then I told her I had a girlfriend and even if I didn’t, I would never go there since she’s part of our case.” He claims.

There’s too many negative thoughts running through your head for one not to slip out. “Is she pretty?”

You’re breaking his heart just sitting there looking like you think you’re not enough, but he knows you're not going to accept him hugging you.

"Y/n, it meant nothing." He promises from so deep in his heart that you believe it. "You're all I was thinking about. I love you and I think you're the most beautiful person in the world." He knows he shouldn't say something so meaningful to get you to forgive him.

Spencer's been nothing but good to you since you met, and you can't lose that, not when you've never had that before and doubt you will again.

"It didn't mean anything?" You doubt check.

"Absolutely nothing." He promises, finally taking your hand. "It was one kiss, and I pushed her away."

You don't see it, the way he twitches slightly as he pulls you into a hug and the deep breath he takes when he realizes the lie has worked.

"I really missed you." You tell him, moving closer to him.

He reciprocates your physical affection, holding you as tightly as he wanted to on the jet home knowing you might break up with him. "I really missed you more."

He feels like dirt for it, so guilty that he barely sleeps that night.

It gets easier. The lie is never too far from the front of his mind, but after that night he realized he couldn't tell you the truth ever.

You barely think about it again. Spencer's lips become exclusively yours and it feels like nothing has changed. He's just your caring, wonderful boyfriend again.

In fact, the first time you've thought about it in a month is when Elle mentions it on a night out. "So, you and Reid are you?" She asks.

"Yeah." You say, slightly confused like the answer should be obvious.

"I hate to bring it up, but you know I'll smack him if you need me to." She assures you, and you nod, wanting her to continue as the sense that you're missing something strikes you. "He's an idiot, seriously. Making out with Lila in her pool was the dumbest thing I've seen him do."

Your heart drops again like it did that night, clenching in your chest, but you have to push her to keep going or you might never know. "Was it more than a casual kiss? Tell me the truth."

She cringes at your paled face but figures she would want to know, so she answers honestly. "Yes, multiple, and they weren't pecks."

"I need to go and talk to him." You realize, standing up and looking for him at the bar before turning back to her. "Thank you."

He greets you happily, blissfully unaware of how you're feeling- for now. "Hey, Y/n, what's up?"

"We're going." You announce, not caring about if it's rude to pull him away from his friends.

He frowns at you, trying to figure out what you're thinking. Whatever it is, it's not good, but his brain doesn't jump to his damaging lie.

Morgan thinks it's something else, patting Spencer on the back. "Ooo, someone's getting some tonight."

You don't look at him as you drag him out of the bar, anger covering your upset. It's colder outside, and he goes to hand you his jacket when you angrily spin around to face him.

"What's wrong?" He wonders carefully.

"You lied to me." You accuse him, but it still doesn't stick. "You told me it was one kiss!" Oh. He gets it then, the realization and accusation hitting him forcefully. "I actually can't believe you. You swore- promised- it was one kiss that you rejected, not a long make-out session. How could you lie to me like that?" You don't give him time to answer. "Were you just going to go on lying to me forever?"

"It was a mistake." He assures you, not comforting you at all.

You shake your head, not wanting to hear another excuse that you can't trust. "Your lying was intentional." You remind him firmly. "How would I ever trust you again?"

[monimccoythings]

Arlong x Healer!human!reader Part 3

Final part for this series (for now lol), ending on a bitter note. Maybe I'll continue it when it is revealed where Arlong and his crew are being kept at Impel Down, because they never truly told us. What if they were on level 5.5 and Oda refused to show us? I just need to know.

tags: @pinejayy @karma-reader

Many years had passed since you last saw Arlong, but somehow he didn't left your mind. Maybe it was his 'unique' personality or how abruptly he had left. Whatever it was, you were certain you would never see him again.

Imagine your surprise when you saw two Marine officers at your door requesting your services. At first, you worried about your clinic and if your recently hired nurse would be enough to keep it running all by himself, but as you found out, you had no other choice, since your medical assisstance had specifically been required and the Marines didn't take rejection too kindly.

You questioned them about who had asked for you. They seemed reluctant to give names, only telling you that a couple of weeks ago the most dangerous pirate crew of the East Blue had been apprehended, and as they treated their wounds for transport to Impel Down, their leader had refused any kind of medical attention and had specifically asked for your assistance. Despite his sorry state, he kept attacking any other doctor or nurse who approached him, and they couldn't risk losing more staff.

The journey towards the Marine ship was in complete silence. You felt awkward with those two. The ship was no better, everything was so strict, so rigid, you wondered how anyone could ever be happy there.

The chief of the medical staff, guided you towards the cell the patient had been locked in. The chief, just like everything in this ship, was cold and professional and didn't like to talk more than needed. You felt the curious looks of the rest of the doctors and nurses, wondering what a small town doctor like you could have that they didn't.

The door closed behind you and was locked again, trapping you in the same room as a convicted criminal. With your heart in your throat, you approached the huge hospital bed. You nearly fell back on your butt when you saw who was laying in that bed and realised that the only person that could have asked for you was-

"Arlong." Your voice came in an exhale. He was laying there, breathing heavily, his body covered in chains and wounds. He looked even worse than when you found him all those years ago, as if someone had dropped a building on him.

You tentatively touched his arm. He jolted awake, but relaxed when he saw it was you.

"You came, like a loyal servant." His voice was as deep and gultural as you remembered it.

You bit your lip, annoyed at that remark. Not even a minute had passed and he had already gotten on your nerves. "More like a loyal doctor."

He hummed and gave you a weak smirk. "You are a stupid human, you know? Coming back here after dealing with me years ago. Do you regret having helped such an 'atrocious monster'?"

Oh you knew where he was trying to go with this. "I don't regret helping someone in need, even if that someone was you." You caught him staring at you curiously, face covered in cuts and bruises that needed urgent treatment, well, every inch of him needed urgent treatment.

"I'm going to start cleaning your cuts, and then I'll bandage you properly so don't throw one of your tantrums."

"I don't have tantrums." He grumbled.

As you worked your way through his body, you would catch him looking at you from now and then with an undescribable look in his eyes. After several minutes you felt brave enough to ask.

"Why did you call for me?"

"If there was going to be a dirty human running their hands all over me, I'd rather have someone who has touched me before than any of these people." He tried to act tough, uncaring. But deep down he knew the truth, he knew there was no going back from Impel Down, at least a second time. This time Jinbei wouldn't be there to free him, it was all over for him. The only thing he regretted was dragging his crew into that hell on water. So that's why he knew he had to see you one last time, even if it greatly hurt his pride.

He quickly took note of all the changes in your body. Your hair was longer than he remembered, your face had matured as well, but it was no less attractive than the last time he had seen you. He mentally winced at his treacherous feelings. Why you?

He could see through heavy lidded eyes how your chest raised and lowered with each breath you took, how your eyes narrowed in deep concentration. You shouldn't worry too much about him, the advantage of being a superior species was having a nearly impenetrable skin, so his cuts and gashes weren't as bad as they looked. And even if the disinfectant burned, the only thing he could feel was the delicate touch of your hands on his body. He wondered if the memory of that touch would be enough to survive what was coming.

"What did you do?" You knew you shouldn't pry on his private affairs, but given the condition he was in and the place he was heading to, whatever he had done must have been terrible.

He let out a bitter chuckle, wincing a bit from the effort. "Believe me, you don't want to know." You found yourself agreeing.

"You are right, I don't want to know."

As you were finishing his body, your fingers accidentaly brushed his. You froze for a couple of seconds, thinking that maybe he would be disgusted given his hatred of humanity, but he didn't seem to mind at all.

Now came the fun part, cleaning his face. It wasn't that he repelled you, but being so close to that sharp nose and teeth... let's say they gave you the chills.

As gently as you could, you grabbed his face and applied the disinfectant covered cotton. While your focus remained heavily on his wounds, trying to avoid looking into his eyes proved to be quite tricky, since he seemed so determined in meeting yours. And maybe it was to give you a better angle, but his face had leaned into your touch, your thumb now brushing his cheekbone.

No one said anything, the only sound that could be heard was the brushing of the cotton against his skin. Arlong knew his time was running out, and that this could be the last time he would ever see you. There was nothing he could do.

You finally finished cleaning and bandaging his face, and stepped away to admire your work. You felt awkward, what could you say to him right now as farewell? He was literally going to jail, what did anyone say in these situations?

"Well..." Your voice sounded too high pitched for your liking. "Good luck! With... err... your stuff." You menatlly kicked yourself, whatever low opinion he had on humans, you surely had made it lower. You needed to get out of there before you died of embarrassment.

When you turned to leave, his voice stopped you. "Human." You slowly turned back to face him. "Yeah?"

For a second, Arlong looked like he wanted to tell you something, the fire in his eyes was burning wildly. But, at the last second he thought better of it.

"If I ever get out of there... I may pay you a visit." Arlong either didn't know how threatening that sounded or didn't care at all. But after having lived with him for way too long, you knew that this time, he wasn't implying any harm.

"I... I would like that." That was the only thing you managed to say. Arlong watched you leave. Inside him, his deeply rooted prejudices were at war with his stupid heart. Humans and fishmen did not mingle; as much as he repeated it to himself, that statement was slowly getting weaker inside his mind.

As you walked back to the deck, you felt a deep feeling of sadness take over your body. You knew the stories about Impel Down, you knew how little chance he had of getting out, or of surviving. Maybe this was the last time you would patch him up. Still, deep inside you, you found yourself wishing he would fulfill his promise.

[i-heart-hxh]

Hi! Happy New Year! :3 I have a question regarding Mito. I do wonder how you think she impacts Gon? For the things I remember of her, she somehow admired Ging... But while looking back to the manga and the anime, I was left thinking about Mito being too kind with Gon but at the same time, secretive. If my memory isn't bad, she didn't tell him about Ging... Which I believe also made Gon question himself. It isn't easy for any adult to speak the truth, especially when matters like that are needed to be talked about. Also I believe it was hard for her, looking back when she was kinda alone.

So I was wondering what do you think about her and her role in the manga... Because Mito also is a really good character and a lot of the things she said truly shaped Gon, like the pinky promise... And she is also really well portrayed, as a human, who chose a certain kind of life, she is so complex!

Thank you in advance!

Belated Happy New Year! Apologies for taking a while to respond, there's a lot to dig into with Gon and Mito's relationship so I wanted to make sure to give it the proper time and thought!

As is often the case with HxH characters, I love that Mito has so much nuance to her. First off, it's impressive that she took on caring for Gon at such a young age--by the timeline, she was only around 13 when she insisted on caring for him. I'm sure Abe helped her as well, but that's quite an age to be caring for a 2 year old, and it must have required a lot of personal sacrifice for her, especially because she herself is an orphan.

Of course, she clearly loves Gon and has done her best to care for him. It tells us a lot about their relationship that he simply thinks of her as his mom (even though he uses her name and a -san honorific when referring to her), to a degree where he even rejects wanting to know who his biological mother is. He certainly loves and values her a great deal.

That said, she and Gon have secrets between them. She lies to Gon about his parents being dead for much of his life, and then lies again about Ging abandoning him. I assume her lies were simply trying to discourage Gon from doing...well, exactly what he ends up doing.

She admired and cared about Ging (worth noting he was the only other child on the island) and he left her behind in order to be a Hunter, then he didn't provide Gon with the care and stability Gon deserved in order to continue focusing on being a Hunter. I'm sure she has some awareness of how dangerous a life it is for Hunters. (Remember the scene where she tries to bend Gon's license in half? I posted it below, if you don't.) She's already lost both of her parents and Ging's father (her uncle) in a short period of time, not long after Ging left, of course she wouldn't want to lose Gon, too. But I definitely think these lies have an impact on Gon, which I'll get into more below.

Now, I can't entirely blame Mito for lying to Gon--she's a complex character with her reasons, like many of Togashi's characters. With how things end up going for him as a Hunter, her desire to keep her adopted son safe and home with her makes sense. Gon may be strong, smart, and capable for his age, but emotionally he's not able to handle the cruel world he finds himself thrust into. Even prior to Chimera Ant Arc, he made a number of risky gambles with his life. If he had died, I'm sure Mito would never forgiven herself for letting him go. I think she would be terribly distressed to find out about what happened in Chimera Ant Arc, which is why I wonder if Gon told her much about what happened. (I tend to guess he only told her bits and pieces, but didn't give her the whole picture.)

When Gon finds out the truth about Ging from Kite, he doesn't tell her what he knows until he's just about to leave for the Hunter Exam. This is a secret he kept from her for years. I'm sure he didn't want her to stop him from going after Ging, and I think it was easier for him to just internalize this information rather than confronting her about it. It's because he loves her and knows she cares about him that makes it harder to tell her that he knows she's been lying to him all along.

My own inference, but I've always thought Gon likely has feelings about not wanting to be a burden to Mito. She raised him like her own child, according to him, but he's aware that he's not her biological son, and he also must be aware of how young she was when raising him. I think he likely did his best to grow up fast and be independent and not rely on her too much, and he clearly spent a lot of time out in the wild and likely among the townspeople as well.

Of course Mito didn't intend to hurt him, but I do think her dishonesty is another factor that makes Gon want to prove he's strong, worthy, able to make it on his own--so she won't have to worry about him and keep things from him, and so he can find out the truth about Ging and the world at large on his own terms.

So, Mito is a sympathetic and even admirable character in some ways, but I do think her own traumas and fears lead her to hide things from Gon, which does complicate their relationship and also unintentionally adds fuel to the fire when it comes to Gon's mental health and sense of identity. Though, I believe her primary motive in doing that was trying to keep him safe, which is understandable with how things turn out for him in the path he chooses...

I'm sure she's happy to have him home safe with her for now, though I wonder how long that will last.

I hope this was helpful! I'm sure there's more I could get into, but I think this covers the major parts of their relationship.

[dependante]

Kinetic (Phillip Graves/reader)

Summary: Teamed up with Graves isn't where you want to be, you're looking to make it out of the mission without incident...or are you?

Note: the reader has a callsign! (Versace)

WORD COUNT- 5k+

CW's- AFAB reader, elements of misogyny, smut, oral (male receiving), masturbation, blood and injury, wounds, use of the term daddy, exhibitionism

THIS WORK IS INTENDED FOR ADULT AUDIENCES. PLEASE RESPECT THAT BOUNDARY IF YOU AREN'T 18 +

-

"Well, if it ain't Versace?"

Here you were, back in the Americas once again. The sky is sunny and clear, the air is fresh, and Phillip Graves' ugly mug is there to ruin it all.

Wonderful.

"Cut the shit Graves; you knew I was the one coming. Did you expect me to deny a contract?" You spit in his direction.

Your head throbs, the flight had been long, and cargo planes aren't exactly known for being comfortable. You look over the rim of your sunglasses as you step off the plane. The height difference between you two becomes apparent as the closer you approach, the further your neck has to crane upwards. 

"Well, sure, but you never know, especially with our…history." He smiles down at you, hands on his hips, teeth shining. A chronic crest strip user for sure. His men are silent behind him but shift uncomfortably at the statement, no doubt wondering who you were and why you seemed to pull out this more unprofessional side of their commander.

"Our history." you deadpan. 

Being this close to him makes something under your skin writhe. Potential energy waiting to be used in some way. No other person you've met thus far has been able to make you itch the way Graves can with some inexplicable swirl of emotions. You want to see him cry.

"Yeah, baby, our undeniable tension. Gets a little hot to handle 'fraid you might be too overwhelmed to show your beautiful face." He rocks forward into your space, just enough to let you know he's holding himself back in some way. His hands stay glued to himself, however. 

Good for him.  

"There is certainly some tension here commander, just not the kind you think. Let's get going." You step back and turn in the direction of the jeeps. It's an attempt to keep it professional. After all, you were here on contract, and you'll be damned if you lose a good gig because of one infuriating CO.

"Of course, I'll catch you up on the way." He gestures for you to lead the way, shadows filing into the three vehicles.

You've already read the mission specs, but you don't need to tell him that.

–

The group he brought to pick you up is small. Apparently, it's only a few miles from drop-off to their base of operations here, so Graves didn't feel the need to bring out too many personnel. 

"-After all, you can handle yourself just fine, missy, ain't that right?"

"Affirmative." you huff.

You're squeezed in the back of the hot jeep, stuck between two shadows surveying the landscape you pass. Who could possibly be out here is beyond you, but nothing's ever impossible.

Graves has yet to stop yapping at you, and you do your best to pay attention, or at least to seem as though you're paying attention. In truth, you're distracted. The way the men's thighs press into yours makes your skin feel alive, even through multiple layers of separation. Human touch becomes foreign on deployment; you can't remember the last time you touched another person and didn't intend harm. 

You're a bit starved. 

The shadow to your left jolts and shifts uncomfortably as you pass over another bit of rough terrain. He slings his arm over your shoulder, seemingly through with his arm being strangely cramped at his side. Against your will, you flush as you are pressed even further into the man. You must make a noise because Graves looks in your direction while he's still yapping.

He catches your eyes in the rearview mirror. He's too perceptive to miss how you blush, taking in the situation.

Fuck.

He gives you a small knowing smirk and a lift of the brow before he turns back to the road.

Your sweaty palms cling to the fabric of your pants.

–

The room they give you at the compound is alright. It's nice to have your own room with a lock in a building full of men who probably hadn't seen anyone but each other in months.

Yes, the lock feature is nice.

You were told debriefing would be in the morning, so after you set down your pack, you had time to kill. The prospect of a nap is tempting, but that can wait for later. Instead, you pull out your contract details and information to review. This trip was nothing major, you'd be working with Shadow company, but your task was offset from their operation. It benefits both groups to work together. Your goal was to accompany them into cartel territory and capture one of the local leaders. They were small fish in a big pond, but whatever information they got at this stage would help them reel in the real prizes later on. 

Your job was to extract the ledger, transport data of their trafficking, and destroy what was left. Most of your jobs were for tech specialization anymore, the need had only grown in the increasingly digital age, and your extensive combat experience was a plus. It did occasionally irk you that it seemed like it had been ages since you’d been called in for your other specialization. Maybe it would do you good to start looking into getting with a specialist group and quitting solo for a while after this. You've heard good things about KorTac. 

Research for later.

Satisfied with your review, you decide to prowl around the base to pass the rest of your downtime. Never hurt to be familiar with your surroundings.

Laswell was the one to convince you to take on the contract. Apparently, General Shepard had wanted you specifically for this. You accepted the terms, and payment was just generous enough to justify working with Graves. Of course, you hadn't known the details until you were in, but it worked out. Hopefully, it stayed that way. While he was a real ass, Graves was good at what he did and an adequate leader when he wanted to be. 

You and Graves had some... Unfortunate history. You both attended basic together and advanced through the ranks at a similar speed, meaning you saw him quite a bit on base and worked closely with him. However, your experience those first couple of years was not pleasant. 

You constantly struggled to find your footing and belonging, and the isolation at times got to you. 

Being in a male-dominated space was rough, and you found yourself at the end of many cruel behaviors and creepy advancements as time passed. Your seemingly uptight and untouchable demeanor gave way to your nickname, Versace. "Too expensive for us to buy." they'd joke.

Graves was the same. He wasn't the worst but certainly joined in on the teasing occasionally. You'd never admit it, but there was a point in time when you quite liked him, but that passed quickly after your first actual field mission together. Turns out the two of you together, alone, was bad news. 

You refused to cooperate and listen to Graves, and he found ways to constantly undermine your confidence in yourself and your abilities. The more you asserted and spat at him, the harder he would rail against you. Eventually, you both completed your mission and were extracted, but the final moments on the plane broke you. He had mentioned that you’d probably be more agreeable if you finally gave into your “innate urge” to be passed around at base like some fucking cheap barracks bunny. 

Before you could even process it, the back of your hand had struck his face hard. He deserved it, but you didn't feel as though you had gained any ground when he looked at you, his hand on his cheek in disbelief. His eyes were dark, no blue visible, and his face was flushed. Whether it was all from the slap or a combination of embarrassment, you didn't know. What you did know is that his expression sent a hot zing down your spine, setting you ablaze. You wanted to hit him again, say something mean, anything to see that expression again. You felt your own face flush again, not from rage but from something else entirely. However, losing your temper further wouldn't prove or correct anything, so you turned your back to him and crouched down on one of the side benches of the cargo hold.

The rest of the trip passed in thick silence till touchdown. 

–

After that, you tried to avoid him as much as possible. Graves, however, suddenly became more interested in poking and prodding at you. Eventually, it faded, and you two had gone on to separate bases. Still, the occasional interactions never failed to leave you with the same hot energy pushing you to do something, anything. 

At this point you had circled the circumference of the small base, already back to your temporary lodgings. You step in and lock the door before dramatically flopping back onto the twin-sized mattress that had been provided. 

You think back to how he had caught you in your desire earlier. You couldn't go through the rest of the contract like this. To deal with Graves meant you needed a clear head, and seeing as you had your own private room, well…it wouldn't hurt to do something to ease the edge off for yourself. 

Hastily you tug your pants down, looking over to check that the lock hadn't suddenly opened on its own. You didn't see any cameras and honestly? You were needy enough to risk it.

The affair was nothing notable. You were going for efficiency, not luxury as you worked yourself over. Mind running with flashes of previous interactions and fantasies of the what-ifs that could happen. 

What if you had done something about your desire in the jeep, if you had whimpered, made a show of yourself. Would the men beside you have done something about it? Would they have shared you between the two of them? Put you down on the ground as they used your mouth as graves watched from the driver's seat? Helpless to do nothing? You shudder, pace quickening at the thought of his desperate face, eager to pull the vehicle over. 

Your toes curled, and calves tightened uncomfortably as you barreled closer to cumming. Staying quiet was becoming increasingly harder as your body thrummed with energy.

Or would he have barked at them to restrain themselves? Would he have demanded you get yourself off for everyone to look at but not touch? Would he have waited till they got back to fuck you in front of his men? 

You bet he'd want you to bite back, to defy him and his orders. To grab him by the hair from behind and make him groan in the jeep, to claw at his thighs as he fucked you from behind. You wanted that too. It didn't take much longer after that, your body spasming as you reached your high, thoughts blurring together with the internal chant of - Graves Graves Graves- increasing. As you flopped back after your high began to dissipate, you realized that while exhausted, the edge had not gone away. The thoughts of Graves continued despite the lift of hormonal fog.

–

Why debrief had to be at some ungodly early hour was beyond you, especially since the operation was after nightfall. Your multiple alarms jarred you from the sleeping world of comfort. You felt gross and tacky, and a hot wash of shame overcame you as the events of last night replayed in your mind. 

God, Graves? Really? You rub your palms into your eyes and groan before quickly getting up. Time to shower.

While you felt presentable on the outside, nothing felt clean on the inside, watching Graves give a rundown of the mission specs to his men. His face firm as he paced the front of the briefing room, going through slides of information and team movements for the operation. His men were focused, no doubt top-tier men in their own right. Graves did have an eye for talent and a formidable reputation, even if it pained you to admit it. 

You feel ashamed. You know none of the occupants in the room are aware of your thoughts and actions last night, but it doesn't help you shake the feeling of the phantom hand around your neck. Glad mind readers aren’t real, you think, staring off to the side wall, lost in thought. It would be humiliating to give Graves the ego boo-

“-that’ll be where Versace accesses the servers.” 

Your head snaps back to Graves at the mention of your name.

“Right.” You say, voice several notches higher than usual. Graves grins and goes back to his monotonous debrief.

Nice.

–

The night was going smoothly. You helped the men load up the vehicles and put on your gear, making sure to bring a small drive for data transfer along with your USB. The USB was your system killer, and it should only take a matter of seconds to permanently disable cloud storage and data retrieval once it is done. 

When the time came, Graves signaled, and you headed out. The ride there was relatively silent. Occasionally Graves or the shadows would respond to some idle chatter or status confirmation over the comms. 

The goal was to surround any possible exits and to take them by surprise. The less time they had to prepare for your arrival meant the more viable data you would have to collect.

Once there, the shadows split. Graves led you and a few others to the side door while other squads positioned themselves to breach at the moment they were told. Graves nodded towards you in confirmation before giving the clear. 

The property descended into chaos as glass and bullets rained down from round after round shot into the building. Those positioned at the door rammed the entries down quickly, and you moved in. Thankfully the area near the server room was relatively vacant as you crept through. The few stragglers that were there were quick to be put down. A small human part of you ached at the brutality, but it quickly dissolved. Seen worse, done worse, you figured.

Graves and his men were quick to establish a perimeter, and you set out to start working on pulling data. Your fingers worked fast as the shouting and gunfire became sparse. 

It seemed that the plan had worked. There wasn’t enough cartel present at the house to stand a chance against the shadow companies' numbers and strategic advantage. Despite being experienced, the surge of adrenaline that came with active field duty never failed to make you sweat. Halfway through the passcode breakdowns and login entry to retrieve the data, someone burst through the door to the small room. Graves and the two other shadows present were quick to whip their guns to the door only to see another frantic soldier step in to frame. 

“Sir, we’ve got several vehicles inbound.” There's background radio chatter on the comms, probably the other shadows confirming, but it’s muted as your skin chills with nervousness.

“How far off?” Graves asks, hands on his vest gripping tightly.

“About five miles.” The shadow says.

“Fuck me” He pushes on his ear comm.

You quickly check on your progress, you’ve gotten in, which is a plus, but you were still going to need time to download and then let the virus completely destroy the terminal. You didn’t need to be there for it to happen but you would need to be here to retrieve it.

“Actual to 3-4 and 3-5 y’all see incoming?”

“Yes sir, we’re in position but we could use an extra set of eyes.” You dart up.

“Send me up. I’ve got my rifle. I can help pick a few off.” You call to Graves from across the room, feet already in motion as you grab your kit balanced in the corner.

“No can do. You’re here to get that information.” He doesn’t sound at all happy to hear your suggestion, and you can hear his heavy footsteps behind you as you tighten your tactical vest. You turn around to meet him head-on. 

“I don’t need to be here for it to work. Keep it guarded till I come back.” You push past him walking in the direction of the Shadow had come from.

“Absolutely not. You’re staying right here.” He barks, tugging you back by a vest strap. You whip around, face inches from him this time. The thrum of energy now a harsh buzz as your eyes stare directly into his. 

“Who do you have to spare that's a better shot than me right now? No one, so step out of the way.” 

His mouth twists and brows scrunch in anger. You wonder if he’ll waste precious time just to prove a point. You don’t stick around to find out. You yank around and storm out the door with the Shadow. He leads you in the general direction before heading back to cover another entrance.

To get to the roof, you have to climb up the shoddy temp ladder on the outside of the building.

“This is Versace to 3-4 and 3-5. I’m on my way up.” 

“Got it, we're on the northwest corner, would appreciate you catching the east."

"Copy, be in position soon."

Once up on the roof, you situate yourself on the roof and locate the position of the two other shadows before finding the direction of the incoming vehicles. 5 incoming trucks, two with turrets and men positioned on the backs of all of them, looking to take out potential snipers.

You'd have to take them out before they do you.

“Actual, what’s the situation.” You hear Graves ask over comms.

“Five incoming sir,” 3-4 answers.

“Do what y’all need to do. Once they get close enough, we’ll help yall with ground cover. Clear?”

“Yep yep” You hear multiple affirmatives over the mic before confirming yourself.

The vehicles were close enough now that you could try to take out the wheels on the first. You plant yourself firmly on the ground spreading your legs for the oncoming recoil. Training and practice had made your core and upper body strong enough to handle your rifle.

You shoot. It lands, blowing out the front left tire and causing the vehicle to flip. The other vehicles keep moving, you see the men on the backs tense and aim in the direction of the building. Before the first turret can even fire, the gunner’s blown off the back by a shot.

You and the two other shadows get a few more good shots before you hear a startled “ fuck-” but before they can finish, your spot is literally blown. 

You're flung back from your position, ears ringing as you try to regain control of your limbs. 

Grenade launcher. Those fuckers missed someone pulling a grenade launcher.

It missed you by just enough that it didn't cause any severe damage, but it did manage to make your brain feel like fucking soup. 

“Versace, check-in, check-in,” You hear Graves' irritating voice faintly come back into focus as the ringing subsides enough to hear him over the comm that had fallen out of your ear. You groan and put the earpiece back in before responding.

“I’m here, moving off the roof.” 

“Come get the drive, do not engage any further,”

This time you don't argue, too sore to think. You can hear gunfight from the ground and think that some of the cartel convoy probably made it to the building. You drop off the ladder less than graceful, quickly sneaking back to the location of the server room when a figure steps in front of you. You don’t get to process the movements before there's a knife pressed to your side and a low voice speaking to you.

“Where is your leader.”

“I don’t know where he is,” You grit out.

“Lie.” He digs the knife further into your side, the end angled under your vest to ensure that one wrong move would end up in severe internal damage. You hear the other men faintly on your comms, it seemed like they were picking them off but it wasn’t enough time for them to find you before you’d be gutted. 

Fine.

“Ok, ok this way,” You start to lead him to the server room. You know Graves probably left only two shadows if that to stay with the drive while he went to deal with the oncoming issue. 

Somehow you were going to have to break out of his hold. 

You pass a lounge room, and there’s a side table with a lamp. It might provide you enough distraction if you can reach it, but before you can, yelling catches the attention of your captor for just a split second. 

That’s all the time you need, the knife slides along your side painfully as you maneuver out of his hold and bend his forearm back as far as you can. The bone snaps and he screams as you kick out his knee so he crumples to the ground. He flips to his stomach and grabs at your legs, trying to pull you down to the ground most likely to beat you senseless.

Thankfully he was stupid enough to have left your holster on and you don't hesitate to unload a shot into his head. He falls on his face motionless. Your side burns as you hobble to the server room. As you expected, Graves had left, leaving a sole shadow at the door. 

“What the fuck happened to you?” He calls, taking in your disheveled state. 

“Apparently no one can see a fucking grenade launcher before it takes out a teammate.” You grumble, you check the status of the download and destroy process. It’s finished. You grab the drive and watch as the display immediately blue screens as you pull it out. Your job is done. 

It sounds like the shooting has once again died down, and you take a moment to lean back in the chair but grimace as pain shoots up from the cut on your abdomen.

“You wouldn't happen to have anything on you to wrap this would you?” You ask.

“Yea I do.” The man pulls out some gauze from one of his pockets and comes over to help you.

“What’s your name?” You ask.

“Isaac.” He says, kneeling in front of your chair to help wrap the temporary gauze around your waist.

You hiss as you lift your hips and pull up your multiple layers to give him access.

“Thanks Isaac.”

“No problem.” You can’t see his expression through his ski mask but as he looks up at you his eye crinkles the only indication he’s smiling.

You hate yourself for it, but you blush. Man, you need to get some action soon or you fear your turn into a wild animal. It's in this position where Graves finds you. Hips lifted and shirt hiked up while one of his men kneeled between your legs. Something hot flashes across his face before he starts laying into you.

" This is why you listen to me, if you had just stayed here you wouldn't have had any issues."

Isaac pats your leg and scoots back, letting you know he’s done with your wrap. You move to get up, wincing but pushing through just because you can. 

"I wouldn't have had issues if your men had actually watched my back." You hold up the drive to Graves.

"Let's just get going."

He stands there for a moment looking at you.

"Men, let's get goin' load everything up." He barks. 

Affirmatives follow as the men file out the doors back to the vehicles. Graves walks with you as you start to walk out, arm grabbing yours.

"This ain't over just so you know." You brush him off.

"Yeah yeah."

You get into the backseat and shut the door on his face. Wonder if he'll pop a vein when you get back to base.

–

After an actual patch-up and cleaning of your side, you head to the room where Graves is most likely still waiting for you. You both had to report to Shepard, and he had to wait for you to do so. 

As you thought, Graves is sitting in one of the chairs in the meeting room, back turned to you. A bit petty of him not to acknowledge you as you come in, but you don’t mind. It scratches the childish itch to win. You had successfully gotten under his skin.

He hits the call button wordlessly, and you two wait for Shepard's face to appear on the screen in front of you. Eventually, the call connects, and Shepard starts in on you two.

“Commander Graves, did you successfully capture the two cartel members we were after?” He doesn’t even acknowledge the both of you before starting. Rude but expected.

“Yes sir, the two are currently here on base.” 

“Good, any issues?”

“We had some unforeseen company at the end, but we took care of them.” 

The general looks displeased at this development.

“Find out how they knew we were there.”

“Yes sir.” Graves replies.

“Versace.” Shepard focuses his attention now on you.

“Yes, sir?”

“Did you get the data?”

“Yes, I successfully cleared their cloud and systems too, once the download was complete. That data is virtually lost for them.”

“Leave the drive with Graves.” His demand leaves no room for debate but-

“-My contract is through Laswell sir. I’ll leave the drive to her as stated in my contract.”

General Shepard doesn't seem pleased with your pushback, but says nothing more. He looks back to Graves.

“Graves, we’ll talk tomorrow, signing off.”

The call disconnects, and the room quiets once more.

“Sooo im gonna rest up now,” you say, peeling your back up off the wall you've been leaning on. 

Graves swivels in his chair to look at you, legs spread. Why you had expected him to drop the childish act and talk you don’t know.

“Right, good work. I’ll be gone by tomorrow afternoon. Good seeing you, Graves”

He stands, still wordless, and walks in your direction.

Now you're annoyed. His silence is annoying and his stalking over to you is slightly creepy, but you don't cower away, standing still as he approaches you. You aren't scared of him, but you find yourself leaning back again on the wall for support.

“Graves, what’s your probl-”

He gently pulls your shoulder towards him, and you comply, letting him turn you to face the wall before you feel him press lightly against you, breathing heavily. You grin.

“Pent up that badly, Graves? I would've thought for sure you be sticking yourself in anything that walks for the last couple of years.”

“I'm more selective than that.” He murmurs into the space next to your ear, your skin involuntarily filling with goosebumps.

“Well what exactly are you looking for?”

“You.”

You scoff in disbelief.

“Find some secretary to get your pathetic dick wet, Graves, and get off my ass.”

He doesn't. Instead of the disgust you should feel at the situation, you only find yourself growing excited. A ball in your stomach is forming the longer this goes on. Some part of you says “ yess this is the resolution we need” . An involuntary shiver goes up your spine, and apparently, Graves can tell exactly what that means. 

–

He presses you further into the wall, the wound in your side throbs, and you groan.

"Been callin’ you hard to get all this time, but that's not it really, huh?" he rasps into your ear, breath hot against your face and his stubble now rubbing raw into your skin as he drags his scruff against your cheek.

"You just wanna be tossed around and told what to do." Your breath hitches as he pulls and gropes at your sides, rocking you back and forth across him.

"Wanna get fucked in front of my men?" You gasp as he sticks his hand down the front of your jeans, the sweat making it hard for him to pull them down.

"Or is it that you want them too huh?" The harshness mixed with his words make you throb. It gives you away.

"Come on, baby, say yes? Give in to daddy."

You make a noise then, one that sounds needy and small in all the ways you aren't at his words. Your head spins and your skin is alight. His hands are still taking. There is no softness, only possession as he pulls you into his body, one hand roughly petting you below and the other pawing at your chest through your multiple layers. All you can do is weakly pry at his arms and whine. For what you aren't sure.

"Boys will never believe I made your uptight ass speechless. They've all been theorizing what you're like in the sack since day one." Your knees feel weak at his words. 

"Yea, baby? Like that? Like knowing everyone wants to touch, but no one can have? No one but me, huh? Who knew with a little push, you'd be such a slut." Your mouth waters, lips, shiny with your spit, open to gasp as he continues to grab at your body. 

"Fuck you." You say.

It's an entirely broken statement. Said throatily and without any real bite. Graves chuckles before roughly pushing you to your knees.

"I plan on it." He unbuckles his belt and hastily takes off the holster attached at his waist to free himself. He strokes himself as he looks down at you. The ground is unforgiving on your knees, but it's the furthest thought in your mind at the moment. All that you can focus on is the drag of his hand up and down, and he sees it. 

"Baby, we haven't even done anything, and you're looking a little dull behind the eyes." He laughs meanly.

"Is the view that good?" You nod, and he groans.

"Go on, touch it."

You lick your palm before pushing off his hand to replace it with yours. His chuckle turns into a groan as you quickly work him over. His hand flexes in your hair as you draw back to spit on your hand before starting up again. 

You can't think, the pain in your side hasn't gone away, but it's only fueling your desire at the moment in some twisted masochistic way. The adrenaline from earlier hasn't worn off, leaving you in a hazy state of just raw feeling. 

The sounds coming from Graves leave you frazzled, and you feel your exposed nerve endings frying. He must've grown greedy as he tightens the grip on your hair to angle your face upwards.

"Open" he says.

You comply, jaw slack and tongue out.

He taps himself against the tip of your tongue before suddenly pushing in. He crowds you back again against the wall till your head slightly bounces off the cold surface each time you come off for the air. Or, at least, the best you can with his grip keeping you in place as he uses you. 

You choke and gag, forgetting the exposed nature of your situation, till you hear a group of voices draw near.

Your eyes widen at the realization that you could very well get caught in the act with Graves, but he doesn't relent. If anything, the heavy footfalls and loud voices of his soldiers push him into you faster and deeper, and you try to continue as silently as possible. It doesn't work.

One ill-timed wet choke draws silence from the group of men outside the door. You swear your eyes roll into the back of your head as Graves throbs in your mouth, and you let out a quiet moan.

The men laugh and bang on the door before moving on, still jeering and making comments, but their voices quickly fade away, as fast as they had appeared and Graves takes it as his cue to pick up the pace. You never once moved your hands off of him, and you dig your nails in the faster he gets.

"Bout to cum baby, you gonna swallow for me?"

You moan an affirmative, and he stutters, rhythm broken as the slight vibration does him in. His release is bitter and salty but you don't even process it as you mindlessly swallow. As you flop your head back against the wall, you're pent up beyond relief. The pants from both of your chests are the only noise as you both recuperate. Graves looks down at you and wires his thumb across your face, gathering the mess that had accumulated before wiping it on his pants. 

"C'mon, up you get." He says as he pulls you up to your feet. Your legs are numb, feeling rushing back with an uncomfortable pin-pricking sensation, and the wound on your side throbs. With no distraction from it this time, the pain zips through you. You whine your complaints into his chest. Wasn't he going to take care of you? 

“None of that now, come on.” He grunts, tidying you up and firmly gripping your shoulders, bringing you back to the moment. You could almost cry.

“Be good, and we’ll see about me returning the favor later on, yeah?”

Graves pauses and waits for your confirmation. He wants to see if you're ok with this. 

You are, and so you nod. He grins.

“Alright then.” He opens the hallway door and guides you back to your room. He doesn't enter, but once your form flops on the bed, he turns the lights off for you and moves to shut the door.

As he turns to leave, you call out to him, voice raspy.

"Next time, I'm ruining you."

He chuckles.

"Look forward to it, sweetheart."

My first fully finished reader insert! Please let me know what y'all think I'd really appreciate it 🙏

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Casual observer of your gradual slip into obsession with Anxceit so I'm wondering if we could get your shipinions? (For the ask meme.)

I would love to give my shipinions!

I actually wasn't that into them until I started making those playlists (master post, anxceit link), but now I can't stop myself. There's just so much, so many possibilities, and no answers to be had (yet).

They are currently exes to me. It could be healthy, it could be toxic, it could be left in the past. Something I've said before that I think it sums it up well: "Maybe it's about what was. Maybe it's about what could have been. Maybe it's about what is. Maybe it's about what could never be."

All I know is that it's devastating and tragic but also has the potential to be the most beautiful love story you've ever seen. And if not, I'm a fan of toxic yaoi, too. I literally can't lose.

Another quote from me: "I absolutely need to know what Virgil’s deal with Janus is and if it’s anything like my theories bc there are so many ways that could go, all of which being angsty and fun. Like did Virgil assume something and spiral? Could Janus not manage to tell the truth when it was important? Was it a single incident or many? I am unwell about them."

I think it would be amazingly angsty if after all this time they still knew each other best. Like maybe they don't know each others current favorite foods or movies, but they know each others deepest fears and how to calm each other down and what each others most formative moments were. I like the idea of them having deeply entrenched history.

They are prime for 'bad thing happens and suddenly you're the person I turn to and it's different now but I never stopped loving you and we'll have to work through that all later, but for now please just hold me' or 'we still have a lot to unpack but I trust you with this thing that is important to me bc I know you can and will do it'.

Them both having protecting roles is very interesting and it would make so much sense if that's why they had a falling out in the first place. I explored one possibility of what that would look like in Why Do I, excerpt here: "The thing about Deceit- Janus- Self Preservation, whatever you wanted to call him, was that he had one singular agenda: Make sure Thomas gets what he needs and then what he wants, regardless of who he has to cut through to do it. And so, once upon a time, Virgil ended up with a knife in his back."

A second excerpt: "And whenever something happening to Thomas would make Virgil freak out, Janus would have Thomas lie it away." I wrote while thinking about how lying can affect anxiety and Anxiety. When you lie, there's always the chance of getting caught, which can potentially be more stressful than the thing you lied about, and if you get caught too many times, it's the boy who cried wolf which would also be a very anxiety inducing situation bc what if you really need someone to believe you?

There's also the fact that this would increase avoidant behavior. Janus CANNOT defer to Virgil if he wants to keep c!Thomas safe bc long term that would be disastrous to his health. Sometimes things that are good for you are scary. But this in particular is related mostly to their jobs so they shouldn't be taking it personally, especially since 'dark' sides know better than anyone that they can't help what their jobs are, they just have to do them.

I feel like I'm just going to end up talking a really long time only to end up no where, so I'll end this here, but absolutely ask me specific questions if you want to know what I think bc I have so many thoughts.