#I won't lie this is literally me everyday

[themilfsland]

No one:

Literally no one:

The pose:

😶.

<))>

_| \_

[chateaaa]

☆ What dating the blue lock characters feels like (pt 2)

Dating Sae Itoshi includes matching earrings, having your initial dangling in his dominant leg (so every time he scores he dedicates the goals to you), having you in the back of his phone, being mean to everyone but you, buying you everything you want, giving you his password to all his socials, buying you flowers every week, slow dancing in the rain, watching hello kitty with you, kissing you on the back of your hand <3

Dating Shidou Ryusui includes bear hugs!!, slapping your ass every time he gets a chance, biting you randomly, love hate relationship, "shut up" x "make me", would try to be romantic (it does not work), would always expect you watching his games, looking at you in the crowd if he scores a goal, making boys near you cry because he dosnt want them to steal you away from him

Dating Otoya Eita includes kissing you on the neck, painting each other's nails in the color of black, wearing a pink scrunchie you gave him as a joke he now won't remove it from his arm, giving you his hoodie, acts of service, only wearing this specific perfume when you guys meet, pocky game (he would purposely lose)

Dating Tabito Karasu includes flirting with you in front of your friends, matching lego heart keychain, giving you cute random things and saying "my chick number 7 gave this to me, i don't need it so you can have it" that's a lie, he spended 3 days deciding what to give you, carrying you like a sack around, matching sneakers

Dating Alexis Ness includes worshipping you like a goddess, loving every single part of you, carrying an extra ponytail for you, buying you snacks, being very possessive, always wanting to wear matching clothes, words of affirmation and physical touch!!, telling his teamates about how good and kind you are, literally making you experience any kind of dates ex: beach dates, museum dates, stargazing dates, always wanting to touch any part of your body; arms, cheeks, hands

Dating Hiori Yo includes arcade dates!!, winning you stuff toys in claw machines, gaming dates, photobooth dates, physical touch and quality time!!, cuddling while raining, playing games even if your horrible, the beds in minecraft being side by side, carrying you in literally any game, sending you spotify lyrics that he thinks relates to your relationship with him, watching netflix together during summer vacation

Dating Noel Noa includes waking up during weekends with him serving you breakfast in bed, carrying you around like a teddy, all love language, gifting you extravagant gifts everyday, leaving you colorful sticky notes in the counter everyday with daily reminders such as "don't forget to drink water" or "i'm going home late, you should sleep early today"

Dating Ikki Nikko includes only letting you touch his hair, cafe dates, letting you have his drink if you like it more, gifting you a giant teddy on your birthday, would always update you through chat, sending you spotify playlists, handwritten letters, sending memes to eachother, dreaming about being married and adopting 5 cats

Dating Yukimiya Kenyu includes neck kisses!, ranting about all his problems to you at 3 am while cuddling, taking pictures of you every time you go out, his wallpaper being you (he changes his wallpaper every week), just because flowers, photographer x model, always having your favorite food in his bag

Dating Charles Chevalier includes painting each other's nails with the eye color of each other, him only listening to you, sunshine x grumpy, always asking for headpats, booping your nose, watching disney every night before going to bed, expecting you to feed him every time you go out

idk guys kasasu and otoya feels ooc, I THINK IT'S VERY HARD TO WRITE ABOUT THEM SINCE I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE RED FLAGS AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITY THAT MUCH..... (sorry karasu and otoya fans 😔😔) but anw hope you all still like it ☝🏻����

btw PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SUGGEST ANYTHING TO WRITE IM HAVING WRITERS BLOCK LOL

[tainbocuailnge]

this is a final fantasy fourteen dawntrail post. it speaks incredibly for the desperation of the people of alexandria in its decline that they both couldn't bear to remember the dead and couldn't bear the thought of the dead no longer being remembered, and thus created this contradictory system where the dead are only remembered by something other than those to whom that memory is meaningful. so crushed by collective trauma and grief that they directed every effort to eradicating awareness of mortality altogether and it's resulted in a paradise where everyone is incredibly blasé about dying because the dead live forever in the cloud until they run out of spare souls and are completely paralyzed with fear of their own mortality.

but even more than desperation it speaks of a naive sincerity that the scientists and officials behind the project just actually genuinely built and maintained this giant memory database to preserve the deceased at increasingly large cost, rather than just lie that they totally did that to a populace who won't remember those deceased anyway. they're not harvesting souls to power the war effort while using a recreation of the beloved princess as puppet figurehead, they completely sincerely recreate the dead from their memories and simulate them living happily ever after, started by a sincere desire to not lose their beloved princess. living memory is an eternal theme park that actively goes out of its way to facilitate letting people who remember each other fondly meet again. it's the manifestation of a childish wish for a world where there are no partings, only reunions. it's a theme park rather than an actual city with a dmv and shit like amaurot was precisely Because it's a childish dream. it's fundamentally an artificial experience, but one which sole motive is to bring joy and relief from everyday sadness.

and sphene is the first and most prominent victim of that naive sincerity. she's the mascot of this theme park, and because she's the mascot in charge of providing this artificial but kind experience she can't ever break character. the people of alexandria couldn't bear the thought of her being forgotten, so they created a memory of her that would last forever, but they also couldn't bear to actually remember sphene, so she's a mascot instead of a person. she loves her people, and they love her, but none of them can possibly understand the weight that love puts on her shoulders. the sphene we meet is fundamentally trapped by other people's deeply limited understanding of her.

it's so so so important to her character that she's a small dainty feminine woman that exists to take care of everyone emotionally and be loved by them for being so nice and sweet and loving, and when she tries to arrange some kind of secure future she ends up with an abusive husband who ignores her wants and needs for his own ambitions, and she is fundamentally unable to act outside this highly gendered framework. sphene reads like the commonplace tragedy of the straight woman to me to the point where making her in lesbians with wuk lamat is like. I can certainly understand wanting to grant sphene the sense of liberation and comfort that many lesbians themselves feel at the realisation that they don't have to marry men, so far be it from me to say anyone is wrong to do so. but it's kinda ignoring part of what her deal is for the sake of that comfort I think.

not that lesbians have never ended up in abusive marriages with men but sphene very explicitly does not have other options, part of the tragedy is that you fundamentally cannot actually grant her that liberation and comfort. cahciua explicitly says there's no way to know what the real living sphene would have done because this sphene is a recreated memory of the beloved princess whose job is to sustain living memory. their darling sphene who will always listen to all their troubles and is always nice to them and will always take care of them. she's literally trapped by the role society assigned her, and that role is essentially to be their tradwife mother. the living sphene may have been into women, but the people who recorded her to create the sphene we meet never even considered the option.

do you guys know that tweet thread where OP describes going to a funeral for a woman they didn't know who'd died young of a heart attack, and the husband spent most of the eulogy talking about himself instead of his recently deceased wife, and by the end of the ceremony OP had learned nothing at all about what this woman was like beyond being a wife and mother? everyone fondly remembers the princess and queen of alexandria, but nobody remembers sphene. and just like all OP could still do for this woman was go to her casket and acknowledge that she too had been a full person in her own right before the stress of swallowing everything about herself killed her, all wuk lamat can really still do for sphene is think of her as the full person she must have been.

we're not told anything about what sphene was like as a leader, what her policies were, how she actually did her work, her vision for the future of her country before she died and was reconstructed. they only tell us everyone loved her so dearly because she was so kind to them. we're shown her dying moments and it's her using her airship to shield a civilian, so we can assume her love for her people was indeed true. but none of sphene's history that we're shown and nothing of how otis (who knew the living sphene) talks about her tells us anything about what she was like outside her role as beloved princess. her memories from after her "revival" are dissonant and corrupted and possibly not even real, and her policy of preserving living memory no matter what is a wish implanted in her by the people who reconstructed her. we don't even get to see what she looked like when alive. the only sphene the people know is the theme park mascot of living memory.

cahciua was exactly as erenville knew her and was true enough to herself to be able to turn against the system, so we're not given reason to believe any of the endless were tampered with. but sphene was already dead by the time they even tried to figure out how to preserve her memory, her actual soul and memories definitely long gone by the time the technology worked. we're explicitly told that nobody in everkeep really cared who or what sphene was as long as she adequately fulfilled this role of loving them all so much. she can't even tell you her favourite food, none of the people who labored so intensely and sincerely to bring her back bothered to write down even her most basic personal preferences when they reconstructed her. she has to deflect the question with "when I think of the people who make the food I can't pick just one" because the only preference she's allowed is loving all her people equally. she's completely thrown off that wuk lamat would even ask.

and it's precisely because she is remembered only as this kind loving woman who gave everything for her people that she is weak and powerless to actually do whatever it takes to keep them safe. she does not have the freedom to assert herself, let alone to be cruel or violent or take extreme actions. society does not give her that freedom, because she is a small dainty woman and (therefore) the only role allowed to her is to be their tradwife mother. so while her desire to protect her people is as real and true as it can be part of her plan to lobotomise herself in order to become someone capable of violence and cruelty also reads to me as that specific female frustration of wanting to destroy the sweet babygirl image of yourself by doing something extreme. like britney spears shaving her head. but in sphene's case destroying the babygirl image amounts to destroying herself completely, because the babygirl image of her is all that comprises her. and so when all is said and done the only fragment of sphene that is restored and lingers just a bit longer after that image is destroyed is the sphene that wuk lamat sincerely wanted to get to know.

[daisymbin]

do you still love me? (I still love you) - choi seungcheol

warnings: mentions of insecurity, slight use of profanities, car accident, hospital, mentions of a needle (IV drip) & mention of anxiety attack.

pairing: choi seungcheol x female reader (use of she)

genre: exes to lovers, angst-ish, happy ending

word count: 2.3k

a/n: wanted to write for wonwoo but lollapalooza choi seungcheol won't let me, he is stuck and imprinted on my brain fr. I will do anything for that man....also this fic is loosely inspired by seventeen's happy ending.

requests open!

check out my masterlist!

“what? no! don't call him! are you crazy?” your hands frantically reached out to grab seungkwan at his hand that was holding his phone. “crazy? who's the one being crazy here? I can't believe this happened and you didn't even think to call me, if i hadn't call and asked to hang out I wouldn't even have known you'd gotten into an accident. are YOU crazy?? you just plan on lying on this hospital bed waiting to recover alone??” seungkwan whisper-shouted at you. “seungkwan please we already broke up, I don't want to bother him or give him any more burdens. besides, I don't even know if he will still care and to be honest, I don't want to know. I don't want to find out that he doesn't anymore so just let me live with my what ifs.” it's true, you'd rather not find out that he's moved on and doesn't care anymore than to know for sure that he doesn't care anymore. you don't think you have it in you to bare another heartbreak.

“you do know that he is still madly in love with you and that he asks me about you everyday still right? he is literally going to cuss me out if he finds out you're hurt and I didn't tell him. I don't even know why you broke up with him in the first place, you were both so good together!” seungkwan's words only filled your heart with more regret. you had broken up with seungcheol a little over 2 months ago but you both decided to stay friends for the sake of the boys. you had all been friends for too long, too many years to let them all go. seungkwan has been your best friend for over a decade and so was he with the boys, it was inevitable that you'd run into each other even if you tried to avoid him or them so this was your compromise.

it wasn't decided easily of course. when you first broke up, you had tried your hardest to avoid seungcheol at all costs, if he was going to be at a hangout, dinner or lunch, you would stop yourself from going bu seungcheol was persistent; begging that you'd at least be friends for the sake of the friend group & for his own sake as well, he couldn't stand not being able to see you or hear from you for too long. why the break up? to put it simply: you were insecure but that was just an understatement. every date you went on with him, every time you went out in public with him, pictures would inevitably find its way online. the comments were sweet, well most of them. for the rest? they were not so good & they started to eat at you everyday. you started to feel like you weren't good enough for him & that he could choose anyone and I mean anyone other than you, you just can't help but feel like he was settling for less with you. & slowly, this small insecurity grew so big that you started to distant yourself from him, avoid his hugs, his touches. when seungcheol finally had enough & asked you what was going on, you had decided on a whim to simply lie to him & told him you fell out of love with him.

you still remember the look of hurt that he had on his face that day and it haunts you every night before you close your eyes. almost immediately, you had wanted to take back what you had said, tell him whats really going on, you had so badly wanted to hug him so tight and to kiss the hurt away and yet, you didnt have it in you to continue being less for him when he deserved so much more.

“seungkwan you know why, just stop please just don't call him. it's just a small accident, I'll be fine once my leg heals.” you tried your absolute hardest to assure him, to convince and persuade seungkwan, but he's your best friend afterall. he knows you're not okay. “it's not just a small accident! you literally fractured your foot in a car accident and you have 3 stitches on your arm! you can't walk that's for damn sure, what, are you just going to not let any of our friends visit you for i don't know a few months? and not come to dinner and not expect anyone to ask about you? you know i can't lie for shit.”

“just… just tell them I left the country for a bit. for travelling or something I dont know just make something believable up. Just don't call him, I don't want him to see me like this. god, I look and sound like a loser. I don't want seungcheol to-”

the door to your ward swang open so hard a loud thud rang from the wall. “don't want me to what?” seungcheol asked as he panted; trying to catch his breath. your eyes widen at the sound of his voice, “cheol…what…” it seems for a minute, your brain had shut down., nothing was coming out of your mouth. “h-hyung,” seungkwan who was as shocked as you are, stuttered. “what are you doing here?” seungkwan had voiced his question for you. “y/n's hurt. you're hurt.” seungcheol answers as he looks back at you. seungkwan watched your face, clearly still shocked and struggling, “y/n is fine, she's just-”

“she doesn't look fine with a fucking needle up her arm. why didn't you call me?” you couldn't tell if seungcheol's question was for you or for seungkwan but you decided to speak anyway, “cheol-ah I'm fine, i-i just fell down the stairs.” what a stupid fucking excuse seungkwan thought to himself. what happened to making up something believable??? seungkwan tried to hide his face of unamusement. “you fell down the stairs?” this time seungcheol fixed his squinted eyes on you scrutinisingly. his right eyebrow raised in disbelief and he started walking closer to your hospital bed. while you tried to hide your casted foot out of sight as much as possible. “yeah I just, I tripped over my foot and fell down the stairs, just had a few cuts here and there and some stitches. no biggie.” you tried to sound as lighthearted and careful as much as you could while trying your best to hide the pain from having to move your foot out of sight.

“don't move, god, the hospital called and said you've gotten into a car accident, you still have me as your emergency contact.” oh. oh. well fuck. seungkwan sensed the already existing tension rising rapidly and decided it's best to go, “okaaay I should probably go and let you have some rest-” seungkwan almost feels invisible in the way seungcheol keeps disregarding his words and interrupting him, “why'd you not tell me? is this fun to you? the same way you fell out of love with me and just didn't tell me until I asked? why do I always have to find out things in the worst way possible?” seungcheol knows he's being harsh but he doesnt mean to, he's just so angry and hurt. so much anger in him towards himself for not being better for you. how bad must he have been, how much was he lacking for you to fall out of love with him? is it work? but he did try to make time for you, bringing you out for dates but you would reject those dates, movie dates at home were also always getting cut short, you no longer wanted to fall asleep on him shoulder or lap, you just went your way to the bedroom after announcing you're tired even before the halfway mark of the movie. was he doing something wrong? there's so much he still hasn't gotten the chance to ask you before you walked out on him.

and now seungkwan, seungkwan was a lot of things but patience? that man has very limited patience and he definitely doesn't have patience for the way seungcheol is speaking to you now. he has had enough of you running away from seungcheol when you still clearly have feelings for him. “hyung,” seungkwan reached for seungcheol's wrist, trying to get his attention. “come with me.” he started tugging and pulling at seungcheol's arm, dragging him out the ward. “she got into a car accident because she was having an anxiety attack because our song was playing on the car radio…your voice.. anyway…she's still in love with you.” seungkwan let out a deep breath he didnt know he was holding, he watches as seungcheol's eyes widen and dilate in shock, “im not trying to butt in your relationship with her or take her side but…just go easy on her. she's- just talk to her, give her some time, she'll open up to you again. you know what she's like when she wants to be stubborn. I'm going to get going, tell her bye for me.”

for the next 5 minutes, seungcheol stood by the door with his back slumped against the wall, replaying the words seungkwan had said to him. you still love him? you're still in love with him? how? but didn't you… didn't you tell him you don't anymore? if you still love him, why did you say that? he gently opened the door to your ward this time, making his way to you. he pulled the vacant chair closer to your bed before taking a seat, “cheol-ah, you don't have to stay here, i was just about to get some sleep anyway, im good on my own. I know you're busy-” “do you still love me?” the room turned so silent you swear you could hear if a pin were to drop on the floor. when you said nothing, he continued, “I have so many questions but i-i just need to know if you still love me... do you know how much I missed you?” tears you were so badly trying to hold back only cascaded down your cheeks, betraying you. both his hands come up to cup your delicate face inbetween his hands, both his thumbs working to wipe your tears away, “don't cry, pretty. you're breaking my heart.” his own voice cracks and his own tears starts showing themself around his brown orbs but you watch as he blinks them away. “tell me you love me." he whispered so quietly, your head now facing down, eyes closed as you start sobbing. “i can't cheol…if I tell you, if I tell you I love you I don't think I can let you go again.” the room fills itself with the sound of your sniffing and crying.

“you don't have to let me go, just tell me you love me and I won't let go of you, not again.” he placed a gentle kiss at the top of your head, bringing your face to his chest as he hugs you silently. “but cheol,” seungcheol doesn't think he can take it anymore if he hears you call him cheol one more time, he's growing putty and puttier in your presence. “yes, sweetheart?” he asked as he started stroking your hair. “im nobody and you're…you. we’re so different and we’re of two different worlds. you're doing so good in life and you're so handsome and im just…” his heart only breaks further at your words, “you're beautiful. you're the most beautiful person my eyes has ever laid on. you have always been beautiful to me and you still are. & we’re not that different, my love, even if we are, isn't that what we both love about us? so different yet so similar. you have qualities I lack and we compliment each other so well, no?” seungcheol pulled away slightly only to look into the eyes he had missed so much. “if there's somewhere or something im lacking at, tell me so I can be better for you.” he assured you again. “you're not lacking at anything at all cheol.” seungcheol notes how this is the loudest and clearest you've spoken since he's gotten here and he doesn't miss a beat when he says “you're not lacking either, you're doing so good my love. I wouldn't change anything about you, you know that? I love you just as you are, everything about you, I love you at your best and I love you just the same at your worst times. you just need to let me in when you have bad thoughts, let me love and reassure you hm? can you do that for me?” he asked as he patted at your head gently again. you had merely nodded lightly & said “im sorry cheol.” with more tears running down your cheeks before he spoke again, “it's not your fault, princess. I'm sorry I didn't notice it back then, it's my fault. I'm sorry.” a light peck of a chaste kiss placed on your cheek as you shook your head in disagreement, “it’s not your fault cheol.” cheol cheol cheol he couldn't take it anymore; bringing your face closer to his, he looks into your eyes again, asking for permission, at the small nod of your head, you fluttered your eyes close and he wasted no time in bringing his lips to yours gently, afraid of hurting you. his heart overwhelms in love for you, lips and tongue exploring each other in lost familiarity, oh how much you both missed each other.

“you still haven't answered me, princess.” another kiss to your forehead this time, “do you still love me?” his eyes searched yours again, looking for a hint of anything. you caught him by surprise when you pulled him in for another kiss, “I still love you. I love you, cheol, so much."

[kanmom51]

Are you sure? Jeju - Episode 4

The Pool

Honey's I'm back. Been to the edge of Australia, literally, and back.

Finally watched the episode, and oh boy, there is so much to break down, isn't there.

I won't lie, I've seen so much talk about EVERYTHING here on Tumblr and on X, and I really am joining this party super late. But I will be posting here for the fun of it, cause it's never enough, right? And also maybe I can bring some of the moments together, for points to be made, Idk. I just hope I can manage to get some posts done before the next episode drops, cause there is really so much to unravel here.

Out of everything that went down I thought I'd start with JM and JK's pool party fest.

They return from dinner, where they let Tae know he's a guest on THEIR show once again (and I mention this just because those two just don't stop reminding us and him of said fact, lol) and decide to go into the pool to cool down.

JK looked like he needed a bit of cooling down when JM was undressing next to him.

It was just the two of them, Tae not joining.

JK is in first and JM following, entering and moving towards JK with a LOOK on his face. A LOOK that had JK finding the need to remind JM that the pool wall was glass and see through.

There is no way under the sun that JM's intentions were pure at this moment.

NO WAY!!!

JK knew it.

You gotta be daft not to see it, especially with that man's reaction to JK's comment.

And it's funny, cause it's not like JM didn't see that glass pool wall before. It was just JK's need to remind him off it that makes it so much clearer he was up to no good, lol.

Did you notice how the footage cuts at that moment? I guess we are already used to these cuts, right? There are PLENTY of them in this episode as well. Don't get me started on the before shower, during shower and after shower that night, lol.

Right after that cut we go into Jikook playful mode.

We don't know just how much time they spent in that pool, but we got close to 4 minutes of it. Clearly they were there for some time, we got to see some highlights. The PG version of them playing around in the pool.

It amazes me every time when I see just how in sync those two are with each other. And we got to see it here as well. I mean, we saw it right through the episode. Remember in part 2 of my Jikook in bed (AYS CT) when I mentioned JK was just being with JM when he was just resting his head on JM's thigh? Well, I believe that word is so appropriate for this episode as well.

BEING

Just the two of them.

Even with Tae there with them, it was just them being with each other. With the mundane and everyday stuff.

It's the checking in on each other (for example when JK was getting excited over the food in the Japanese restaurant and JM checks in on him, or when he hits his fist on the table in the chicken restaurant and again, JM checking in on him, or JK just rubbing JM's thigh in the restaurant in episode 3 knowing he's not feeling the best).

It's the making joint decisions - what to eat, when to eat, what to do, when to go to sleep.

It's the calmness. Just calmness in their interactions.

It's them knowing what the other is feeling or meaning, at times without even speaking.

It's them playing around with each other when others don't even understand what's going on (Tae on the boat not getting their playfulness or sense of humor).

It's their constant hyping each other up or complimenting each other.

It's them finding solace in each other.

It's them cuddling watching the sunset.

It's them finding figures in the clouds and drawing them.

It's them hugging while snorkeling.

It's them seeking each other out while snorkeling, wanting to share the experience with the other, share the fun.

It's them sharing their solo music and choreo with each other before it comes out. Spending their time talking about each other's singing and dancing.

It's them being super flirty and talking with underlying innuendos through out their conversations.

It's them just BEING with each other.

I will most likely be writing much more about this, probably small posts with these special moments, but I just had to mention this here as well. Because this here, their time in the pool, was one of those moments as well.

They just click.

And it's so damn loud just how special they are with each other, how different they are with each other.

Saying that is not about diminishing what they have with the other members, because we all know just how close they are with each other, all 7 of them. They are bandmates, they are good friends, they love each other. But let's be realistic here, with all of that, the level of their friendships, the depth of their relationships with each and every one of the other members varies. it's just how it is. Real life, you know. And saying that JM and JK's connection is different and showing how it's different does not diminish from their connections with the others, it just highlights THEM.

And as such, I don't cower away from making these comparisons, because they are part of what screams that the two are a couple. There are things you do with your significant other you don't with your good friend. There are ways you behave with said significant other that you won't with your good friend. There are things you will allow your significant other do to you, do with you, that you won't allow with a good friend. It's the way you communicate with your significant other, things you say, things you don't say, things you don't need to say, tones you use, all of which you don't do with a friend, no matter how good of a friend they are. That's life. No reason to shy away from that just because there are some people that will take it the wrong way.

JM and JK in the pool was just that.

When you know you know.

They were playing games with each other.

Btw, I'm gonna say it even though you have all probably noticed this already, but JK, he doesn't push JM in that game. Not one time. And it reminds me of previous times they've done this.

More games.

then for Tae's benefit.

They were being playful with each other.

They were having fun with each other, just BEING.

Doing THEIR thing.

Jjust clicking.

Being absolutely the cutest EVER possible.

And they can't be Jikook without their signature "You are me I am you", right?

This whole sequence reminded me of the last time we got to catch their late night playfulness. You know, the whole mosquito net debacle, lol.

Only this time there was no alcohol involved and they fully aware of the cameras filming them, lol.

And before all those that happen to be lurking here waiting for me to say something to latch onto start celebrating "she said it", I say calm your farm, because NO SHE DID NOT. Them knowing the cameras are there and having fun TOGETHER, at times posing for the cameras, hence doing it for us to see, takes absolutely NOTHING from it being an authentic and spontaneous interaction.

I can't believe that I actually have to explain this.

Did I mention how many times those two reminded Tae and us that he's a guest on THEIR show?

"The guest is coming"...

"He must be bored and wanting attention"...

"He must be lonely..."

And this is for our benefit? Or their own, perhaps, lol.

"He's the guest... guests can comb their hair...guests should be pretty..."

And then the editors chime in as well.

I guess it was super important to drive this point right home just in case there were those that still didn't get it.

This show, it's JM and JK's. Period.

Tae = guest.

And he is sure going to be reminded of that by both of them throughout the trip. He is, and so are we.

And what about JK leaving the pool only to jump in again ("it's cold") to climb out again with JM?

Again, one of those "we do things together" of theirs.

All in all, the episode was friggin amazing. If there was anyone who for some reason (delusions, for one) thought that Tae being there with them will take away from us seeing just how JIKOOK those two were, or that JK would show his undying love for his husband and father of his children (🤮🤮) that sure was a hell of a rude awakening for them.

The interactions were as clear as day. And very telling. As per usual and as I had said in the past, if anything then JM is the axis with JK and Tae circling him, biding for his attention, JK knowing everything there is to know about JM while Tae needing to say just how much he knows JM. And if we're on the subject of Tae wanting to tell us just how much he knows JM, what we also got to see is just how much Tae and JK don't know about each other (Tae not knowing JK doesn't drink sweet drinks before eating or JK not knowing that Tae has been struggling with sleep lately), again, as a stark difference to JM and JK's abundance of it (JM knowing JK hadn't slept on the flight back prior to their trip, JM singing 3D).

I have so much more to say, but I'm going to stop right here, leave some more to talk about later.

[etherfabric]

Directions from Your Higher Self

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

Pile 1

The Star, The Moon

You started to believe in miracles, and are now scared shitless. No small expectations keeping you safe from disappointment anymore. You got a taste of what magic feels like, and now fear dullness like the plague. Two things: You are allowed to have boring days, that doesn't mean the magic is gone. It can't be Christmas everyday. You would get sick of the lights eventually, believe me. And the other thing: That's why they say that victimhood can be a kind of safety blanket. If you already expect only crap from life, there is no horrible suspense anymore. But now... you can't go back. Even if you try it.

This is an icky phase of metamorphosis. It's normal that it feels disorienting and like you can't make sense of anything anymore. Do soothing stuff, calming habits, be around safe people. And spoiler: This is about embracing your humanity in a whole new depth. Don't worry, it will feel supernatural again soon enough. But for now, practice being plain, while also weaving your belief in miracles into it. Challenging, yes, but nothing you can't handle. You got this.

Pile 2

The Moon, 3 of Pentacles

Nothing you put energy or effort into seems to yield anything. It feels like punching in slowmotion, nightmarish. Hitting no one who needs to feel your hits. Newsflash: This is not a time for work! Get soft, dammit. You can't experience rest while still trying to prove something. No one is watching. You are being your own cruel audience, and boo yourself into despair. What are you aiming at? Who convinced you that particular thing is the sole hope for you to be happy ever again?

I love you, you are me, I am you, but I can't let you go on like this. Not with what lies ahead of us. If you only knew how easy things will get. How many fears will never come true. How much lighter you could afford to be. How much love you already deserve. But you have to dare opening your arms, and put the tools down. The monuments you try to erect are aimed at Gods you won't believe in anymore once you experience your feminine side as a gift, and not a curse. Grindset? Grind your teeth while napping, if you have to. But this is bigger than your egotistical, temporal ambitions. You need to do it slow, and I won't stop insisting. Because I can see more than you. You will have no choice but trusting me on this one.

Pile 3

The Emperor, The Devil

Have you heard of this awesome thing called "free will"? Let's take that baby for a ride. Use 3 spoons for the same meal. Lie on the floor of your hallway and recite a song. Buy a stranger a magazine about trains. Take a pair of scissors to your least favorite shirt. Name your nail polishes after famous people. The possibilities are literally endless, but yet you rotate the same 7 things. They will stay ready for when you need them next, but let's shake it up a little, huh? No wonder you feel trapped and stuck. But YOU make the rules, at the end of the day. Yes, there are outer limitations you have no influence over, but even in a literal cage, you can decide what you think, or how you sit, or what notes you hum, or what shadow figures you make with your hands.

The thing itself is meaningless - it's about you experiencing being a CREATOR. Not just a servant to others. I don't care if it's throwing a paper plane into your bathtub, or quitting your job and disappearing to Nepal - but we crave novelty and agency. Deeply. Break the self-imposed limits, any of them. Just to feel what it feels like. It's more rewarding than you imagine.

Pile 4

The Hanged Man, 2 of Cups

Oh shucks. You like someone. It happened. And you can't cancel it willynilly. Suppression has run its course, and now you have to face the embarrassment of having a heart with a need to connect and love. This has completely ruined your illusion of sovereignty you so deeply depended on to feel safe in the world. What now? Where will it lead? What does it mean? What will happen next? Do they like me? Do they think of me? Do they think of me badly? Why do I think about them? Is this me being brave, or pathetic? Is there a true difference?...

The questions don't stop, and you know what - they shouldn't. This is less about the "result" of this connection (I know, boo me, because this is your hyperfixation above all, despite not ever admitting it) and more about getting you out of your shell to be curious about yourself again. The heart needs to be open, and these fears and doubts have been there for a long time already. You are ready to face them, examine them, and learn more about yourself than any flavour of aloofness could ever teach you. I know you hate it, but I can also see the faint giggly twinkle in your soul from up here, buried under all this denial and acting tough. And that's the most scary part for you. That you actually like someone, like, in THAT way. How scary that life has no guarantees, but coming to peace with that truth will serve you much more than any relationship ever could.

[4channerguy]

Fluff Nagumo (sakamoto days) x GN reader!! It could be about anything Idc as long as it’s fluff!! Include nsfw in the end if you would like too I don’t mind 🫶

✧ nagumo as your boyfriend

◜ ⟣𓂃 hey anonn :3 sorry for the hold up i've been suffering writer's block for like months and shit & i decided it’s the best for me to do like a little headcanon thing cuz like tbh i don’t think i could write a full fic tho 🫡 also the nsfw part is lacking at best because i genuinely still do not KNOW how to WRITE for NAGUMO!!! WHY OH WHY!!!! anyway i hope it caters to you. xoxo (。・∀・)ノ

warnings ✎ : nsfw content, gender neutral reader (genitalia is not mentioned only your chest and your butt KEK) obsessive behavior mayhaps? ➜ ┊ pairings: nagumo x reader

♯┆SFW .ᐟ ★

he's such a wonderful bf *sigh*

he's also quite a teaser ngl, i think he blows on your neck a lot and when you flinch and glare at him he always has a shit-eating grin.

quite overprotective of you, even if you're literally extremely muscular and can literally bodyslam someone, he cannot BEAR the sight of you getting a small scratch on your face. or you getting into a fight

he's also a drama king

"oh hey nagumo...uhh what're you doing...?"

"applying rubbing alcohol on your face duh, who did this to you?? >:("

"what're you talking about...oh."

"oh?"

"heh...um that was me. i did that. i was...ripping a candy bag open. with my teeth. and the sharp part...cut my face." *insert mlp squee sound*

"..."

he's still going to thoroughly disinfect it and check on it everyday until it's gone. what a king!

he's very handsy, so you will find his hand SOMEWHERE on your part of your body.

you get so used to it you don't even notice.

if you ever sleep together, he always has both of his arms wrapped around you and whenever you wake up in the morning, you feel a puddle of drool in your hair. like always.

when he's sitting down next to you he always has the habit of grabbing your nearest hand and massaging your phalanges. or just intertwining and detangling your fingers with his.

also has the habit of just staring at you for no reason

it's like when you accidentally hold eye contact or stare at a person while your zoning out

except for his case he does it intentionally.

quite possessive of you, in some cases it can be unhealthy. also a bit jealous. (i might go on with this in a ramble if i could)

always offers his frumpy looking jackets and hawaiian shirts for you to wear

and you do because...who tf wouldnt lol

and when you do wear them he melts a little

trace his tattoos with your fingers!!! he finds that gesture slightly intimate

also you two have a game where every year for his birthday you pick out the dumbest tattoo design and make him get it

last year it was a badly drawn dick with two circles and a long oval lol

♯┆NSFW .ᐟ ★

i think he's personally an ass/thigh man

he's always finding a way to sneakily grope them in public settings

speaking of that he probably likes public risky sex (what a freak literally)

the thought of you and him getting off in the back of some janitor's closet or something like that with the door unlocked will get him hard ngl

he also probably has a size kink

AND this might be an unpopular opinion BUT i personally think that he would want to explore pegging

but you didn't hear that from me........................

he would think about asking you about it time to time but he won't personally act on it because it's not something he wants to experience it yet

(sorry)

dick size is kind of around 5 or 6 inches when hard probably and it's not very girthy i will not lie 🙅but it hits all the right spots i guess so yass?

he likes bondage, but wants to see you tied up most of the time :3

⋆｡𖦹 °✩ 04.12.24, do not repost or translate my content :^)

[ziipzeepzop-eez]

❝ just like magic, here you are! just like magic, in my heart. ❞

━━ ⁎˚ ໒ 🍥 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞!𝐥𝐞𝐨 𝐱 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐢!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ⊹ ࣪ ˖༄

request — @snipersiniora : " Cool! Cool! As a ROTTMNT big fan my requests goes there especially either platonic, romance or sister reader in general (you can say i love these types of HCs/one-shot). ⨾ About the request; May i please - and as always if you don't want to, don't feel comfortable about it you can delete the request - Rottmnt romantic hc about Leonardo x fem!reader who's a Unicorn yokai? ⨾ Like she has a habit to flip her wings whenever leo is aroundshe loves wearing pink but once leo became her boyfriend she wear blue his color and she's super sweet and trusting of him. Something rotten tooth sweet type of hc. "

𝐚 / 𝐧 ༝༚༝༚ ☁︎ :: my dearest love. at user sniper siniora. here it is. i bestow this upon you with trembling hands and a stoic grace. i won't lie! — with this being my first time doin' an official sorta " request " outside of the usual shenanigans with my shawties, i was more than a little nervous. but this was a lot of fun!! i hope it makes you feel at least a lil better :')) <3 thank you for your endless patience, the creativity juice, and most of all - for requesting from me! 🩵💫 it's been an honor, and i reeeally hope you like it because if you don't i will JUST BE CRUSHED.

now, on with the show. *bows with a flourish*

HE'S OBSESSED WITH YOU Awww, look guys!! It's couple of the year! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

༘⋆✿ No but seriously. How dare you exist? How dare you become the exact embodiment of this boy's wildest dreams? (/lh + /aff)

The world of the yokai is already a diverse plane, so the possibility (read: literal existence) of unicorn yokai being a reality was never not thereeee . . . .

Our Neon Leon just never got that far. Haha.

So trust that when homeboy sees you for the first time, he does a whole double-take.

༘⋆✿ He is, enthralled. You have him entirely wrapped around your pretty li'l majestic finger. Ope- there he is, kissing up your knuckles! (Just shove him away.) (He'll come back. He knows you can't resist his charm.)

Let's be real: the first time he caught a glimpse of you, it was in passing, and he could not stop thinking about you for the rest of . . . well, until you see each other again!

His brothers probably know every little detail about you (physically wise) before you guys even get together lmwoooo.

He would NOT SHUT UP about the "majestic unicorn lady down in Times Square down in the Hidden City (⁠���⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+ . . . NO, HE WAS NOT HALLUCINATING DONNIE. He really saw you! >:("

(Donnie definitely wouldn't miss out on an opportunity to tease his twin but I feel he'd be just as interested in the aspect of your existence! What can I say? The man's a scientist. He tries to run genetic tests but Leo doesn't let him and shoo's him away each time he even comes close to you with in-the-name-of-science intent lolz)

༘⋆✿ Thinks you're the most magical thing to ever grace this wretched earth.

And, if magic is a bit of a stereotype for your kind?

If you can't actually- . . . if you don't have magical abilities— that doesn't make you any less in Leo's eyes!! To him, your whole existence itself is magical. ✨ His words, not mine. (/lh)

He's all over you any other way.

Casual settings, ranging from cozy atmospheres such as date nights to the eccentric zany missions, circling back to midnights on the rooftops,

Just sneaking into your everyday life in broad daylight,

with or without his signature hoodie,

but always with his charming smile.

He's your new constant, just like you're his.

However! If you do share in the mystic aspect that comes with being a yokai, or a direct descendant mutant of a mysticism involved bloodline (*stares hard in bro's general direction*) —

you're gonna get dragged into a bunch of crazy thematic shenanigans that

- more often than not -

end up with you guys bustin' your butts in a mad escape from some rogue yokai of sorts.

During the calmer times tho? You'd indulge him.

Set off little magical cotton-candy pink shadow puppets dancing across the walls of his bedroom while he cuddles close to you, churring softly while rubbing his cheek against yours, his eyes sparkling with nothing short of adoration.

Whether you're casting those little puppet shows out of your own volition,

or from the music box Leo had gifted to you on a date he'd nabbed from a cute little shop in the Hidden City,

that's up for you to decide.

It's a sweet bonding time either way. (✿ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)⁾⁾

༘⋆✿ . . . He has his moments of trademark insufferability, tho. You knew it was coming.

"Ooo! Ooh, I know!- can you magic up a pizza?"

"Can you teleport like me? If I got you in a high enough position, could you defeat our enemies with the power of friendship?"

"Can you make fireworks come outta your fingers? It'd make a lotta sense, seeing as you have magic fingers; that massage last night did wonders for my scales, cutie. I'll help brush your feathers later, hm?"

"Oh- OH! I know! Can you-"

"Leonnn."

༘⋆✿ Magic abilities, no magic abilities. Noodles, no noodles . . . One thing about this funky blueberry muffin is he will be absolutely obsessed with you, through and through.

"You're all the magic I need in my life, [Name]."

༘⋆✿ If being one of his favorite existing creatures wasn't enough, let's talk about your fashion!! Now he adores your fashion sense. Your entire aesthetic. He loves unicorns, he loves every sugar-spice-and-everything-nice thing surrounding said unicorns! You're such a vision to him.

But shortly after you both got together, and you started incorporating blue into your everyday style??

Mm.

Reeeeemember when I told you that he's a little (read: extremely) obsessed?

Yeah. Good luck tryna get him off of you like this. (/hj)

Like, girl- as soon as you step into the lair and he catches you wearing blue?

It could be the most inconspicuous detailing of an accessory - and he'll still catch it.

NOTHING EVADES HIS NINJA TRAINED SUPERWEAPON MUTANT VISION.

—And he is ZOOMING OVERRRRR with the biggest grin and just.

Purely cajoling. An absolute cajoler.

A professional flatterer.

Honey is what his words are made of, made to drown you in their syrupy sweetness and trap you like a helpless fly in his venus flytrap of all-encompassing love.

(Except he's being 100% serious.)

"I knew it'd be a matter of time before I rubbed off on you, bonita. Look at you! Spitting image of absolute beauty, if I do say so myself. Blue is definitely your color. You should wear this forever, actually, from now on. Always."

Expanding on this, he lends you his clothes! :'))

If they can't fit you (y'know, wings and all) HE WILL LITERALLY CUT HOLES IN THE BACK SO YOUR WINGS CAN POP THROUGH AKSHDJDHFH —

*SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* YOU GUYS WILL DO THE ICONIC BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND HOODIE STEALING THING, IT IS NON-NEGOTIABLE.

(He's a simp. And a little bit freaky. (/ns) But you didn't hear it from me.)

Something about seeing you in his clothes just makes him feel so fuzzy and warm inside.

It makes him feel wanted. Sorta gives him a sense of security. A reaffirmation that you're his and he's yours.

Soft, warm, pure, fuzzy feelin'. Good for the soul. ☁

Like when you hug him with your wings!

He loves that feeling. (..◜ᴗ◝..)

༘⋆✿ Speaking of those luxurious wings . . .

Each time they start to fluff up and flap when he comes within your general vicinity, he gets SO SMUG.

What can we expect from Mr. [Macho Ego] Charmer himself??

"Looks like someone's happy to see me." As if he's not over the entire universe to see you too, smh.

and then you excitedly affirm his words — rather than getting annoyed, even if playfully — and he just gives you the most enamored expression.

Well — it's a fine mix of smugness (because I mean c'mon. It's Leo.) and fond adoration.

He thinks you're so, so adorable.

Cuteness aggression galore.

Once you're trapped in his embrace there's no escape.

Nobody is safe, and

He is fooling NOBODY.

I mean, his own tail starts wagging whenever he sees you . . .

and sometimes, he subconsciously churrs loud enough for you to hear whenever you guys are close, which is literally all the time, . . .

So he can't really speak. Now can he?

(He does anyway. It's Leo.)

If you're okay with it, he definitely pets your wings.

He likes to run his fingers through the feathers. They're just so fluffy.

' Is this what clouds feel like? '

At first he mostly did it to fluster you, seeing as it seemed to have the same blissful effect of him getting shell/chin scritches, but over time, it just happens naturally.

He seeks it out ─ it becomes a source of comfort to him.

Not only because they're so soft and fluffy, hereby appeasing his sensory needs, but also because it's you.

Asks you if you can fly lmwo.

Begs you to take him for a flight by moonlight but y'all will literally go crashing down AJSHDJDHD

Until, you actually do . . . pick him up, that is.

Until you actually do . . . take him for a moonlight flight.

Until you indulge him in everything because you love him so much and would do anything and everything to put a smile on his face.

He's shell shocked (I AM SO HILARIOUS).

A blushing, stuttering mess.

Bro doesn't know what to do with himself.

A turtle? Nay. A tomato.

Someone tell bro not to dish what he can't take lolllll.

༘⋆✿ Sure, he'll tease you a little bit (It's Leo.) but it's all out of love!! Pardon his major ego, he'll throw it all away for you at the drop of a pin; he genuinely loves and cares for you and how you perceive him.

In turn, this causes him to show out a lot more whenever you're around, subconsciously standin' on bidness 25/8 to 'prove himself' to you,

but you also just make him so giddy.

How can he not want to squish and hug and cuddle you and plant kisses all over your cute little face every time he sees you?

He treats you so, so gently.

You're his princess and he beholds you like absolute royalty.

Yes, he may roughhouse from time to time, but he's capable of handling you like fine china.

It makes you feel just as special as it sounds, aughhh.

It's a nice balance in your relationship. <3

At first, he may be a little shy and not know how to handle how trusting and loving you are.

Well, lemme rephrase : he loves how much you love him, because he loves you a lot too!! Whatever affection you give him, he returns tenfold.

You're just so precious he can't help himself, nor would he try.

It's the trust part.

He's . . . well, he can get kind of overwhelmed and in his head about it sometimes.

Especially when his insecurities come to play at the surface :(

He just cares for you so much, it's scary. How much he cares.

— it's a swirling mess of many different things: "you'll put her in danger", "you'll end up disappointing her", "there's someone better out there for her", "why should she trust you?" but at its core, it's all the same:

does he really deserve you?

Precious, pure, sweet, ethereal you?

Surely not, is what his mean brain tells him.

But you're persistent. And with time, dedication, and consistency, you get him to realize that.

Leo is family-driven.

He's deeply devoted to his loved ones and would give the entire world for those he cares about.

Despite his boasting of how awesome of a character he is, he doesn't really believe it like that all the time :((

But he really is a wonderful person.

and you help him further recognize that!!

༘⋆✿ He wants to become the best version of himself when he's with you. He wants to be worth your trust and affection and attention; the self-expansion that manifests from your guys' relationship is one that will turn him for the decades to come. (bro just needs to realize he was worth it all along 😔✊ he's a little slow but he's trying his best, that's what matters.)

It's wondrous what can come from a foundation built on mutual love and trust and respect.

Trust and be trusted.

Love and be loved.

Leo is one who gives and gives, even when he's running low on it for himself.

Blessedly, breathtakingly, you're there to fill that cup for him every time.

And he couldn't be more grateful.

Cuddles close to you, planting loving kisses all over your soft face, from your eyebrow ridges to your lips and relishing in the sweet giggles that he's rewarded with in return.

"I love you," he murmurs. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you"

And onnn and onnnn he goes. (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)

Because he does.

He really, really does.

And you believe him too.

━☆・.ೃ࿔:･♡

One thing will forever remain for sure:

Choosing and loving you was the best decision of his entire life.

And having you choose him day by day as well? Ah, well, what can I say?

He's in the sugary pink cotton candy clouds, and it's the beautiful serenade of you. (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

@cafekitsune + @rookthornesartistry + @animatedglittergraphics-n-more for the dividers / "hc" banner ! 🩷

[dootznbootz]

Me: Almost done listening to the Iliad on audiobook, and planning to listen to the Odyssey next

Me: Goes on youtube to find a quick summary to listen to before hand

Me: Clicks on a promising video

Video, in the first 30 seconds: Haha he cheats on his wife!

Me, in a bad mood now, even though I should have seen that coming: Never-fucking-mind, then

Yep. ;~;

Quick tip for ya: Honestly don't trust really ANY "Youtube" summary of it. Especially the ones where they are mostly trying to be "entertaining" and/or "funny" instead of educational. Also they mostly likely won't be "respectful".

I'm not saying this as a "don't trust any academic source! Historians are evil!!!" I'm saying this as a "there are very biased and very opinionated folks out there and I recommend going over multiple sources just for you to get your own opinion formed on it as well!".

I mean...Madeline Miller?

And you know what? I'll vent about how much I hate Robert Graves' takes on Greek Myth. >:(

I once got an old used book about mythology by Robert Graves and I was excited to read it! But it was genuinely just...so fucking MEAN. Insulting to stories, calling them stupid, flip-flopping on "Goodhearted" to "malicious". It seems like he was a bit more of a critic and/or thought his "headcanons" as "fact". (I say this as someone who has many headcanons and gets real silly with it. At a certain point though, YOU GOTTA STATE THE FACTSSS)

An example from it: (talking about Menelaus and Helen's marriage) "Yet their marriage was doomed to failure: years before, while sacrificing to the gods, Tyndareus had stupidly overlooked Aphrodite, who took her revenge by swearing to make all three of his daughters--Clytemnestra, Timandra, and Helen--notorious for their adultries"

Very much dislikes Odysseus, (like holy crap, even his good deeds are said mockingly) while he seems to "like" Menelaus, still calls him stupid. Seems to really like Paris?? like "Oh yeah, he needed Aphrodite to help him steal a woman who didn't love him but he's just a guyyy~"

"Athen now inspired Prylis, son of Hermes, to suggest that entry should be gained into Troy by means of a wooden horse; Epeius, son of Panopeus, a Phocian from Parnassus, volunteered to build one under Athene's supervision. Afterwards, of course, Odysseus claimed all the credit for the Stratagem"

He implies Helen and Odysseus possibly having romantics when he sneaks into Troy to steal the Palladium. Implies Odysseus made up Cassandra's rape by Lesser Ajax, as "Cassandra did not support the charge".

"Little Ajax's alleged violation of Cassandra was dismissed by reputable mythographers as an Odyssean lie"

Implies that Odysseus was only angry about Pallamedes embarrassing him, NOT BECAUSE HE NEARLY KILLED HIS BABY AND MADE HIM GO TO WAR. He implies "Icarius' daughter (Penelope)" to be another "victim" (???) of Odysseus? He also kissed poor Calypso goodbye and seems determined to never talk about how much Odysseus cares about his family. only that he wants to go home, Penelope being an afterthought.

This is a "Greek Mythology book"...and yet it's biased as fuck. :/

And ofc, people deny Odysseus being a victim.. Obviously there is sexism at play here, with the "Oh Odysseus loved it! He was getting laid!" despite being held at PigPoint and literally getting fucking raped and crying everyday. ;~; it's very disheartening and honestly disturbing.

Honestly I recommend reading/listening to at least 2 (or more) to try and get a "full picture" as just like Madeline Miller and Robert Graves, there are biases in each one. (Emily Wilson is very biased for example) Some of them while favorable toward Odysseus, also favor Circe and Calypso. Some mock Menelaus and Helen. It depends.

Like I've read 8 translations of the Odyssey (I like it :3 you don't have to be insane like me though. <3 ) and all basically say the same thing with the Goddesses as "It was not a good time. He adores Penelope."

Two or three is probably enough, and that's also if you just wanna know if there's any differences between events based on the translator. so sometimes if you wanna know the differences in wording (as some translations have very cute wording) you can just find that part in the Odyssey that you are curious to see if there are differences. :)

I hope you have fun!

[ravenmichaelisstuff]

Part 1

Part 2

I think A LOT about Soap trying to give back the childhood Ghost lost. (Part 3)

When a perfect opportunity to bring some of his childhood to Ghost accured he decided to act.

They were on mission the day before, Soap was cleaning out an area while Ghost was keeping an eye on him with a sniper. They didn't get injured or anything like that, but Soap took his sweet time to finish the mission and Ghost had to sit in one position for a couple of hours looking at every move the sergeant made. He didn't mind then.

But men did Ghost's back hurt after. He was always kind of tense, Soap knew that. But today Ghost was huffing and puffing everytime he as much got up from a chair. Even Price told him to "Lie the fuck down". Ghost of course said that he was fine, but when they all went on their evening training Ghost excused himself quite quickly. This was very out of characters because usually he was the last one to leave and the one who made Soap push his limits.

Soap decided to follow after Ghost not too long after, going straight to lieutenant's room. He just walked in, eyes on the floor like always. Just in case Ghost doesn't have his mask on. Soap knows he is unbearable, but he would never let himself break the trust Ghost gave him with being disrespectful. It's not like Soap was clueless, he was aware that if it was anybody else just barging in Simon's room, that person would be greeted with a knife to their skull. Soap was greeted with an exasperated groan. Soap lifted his gaze when met with no protests.

Ghost was lying in bed on his stomach, face burried in pillows- maskless. Soap quickly looked down.

"Ghost! Yer mask!"

"You are the one who walked in here, like it's your room." Ghost said, voice muffled by the fabric.

"Well yeah! But you always tell me BEFORE I actually look at ye."

"You saw nothing, you won't get a lot of my face from looking at the back of my head. I am not moving, you can look"

Soap hesitantly looked up. "So... Everything is fine huh?"

"Fine and dandy" He muttered.

Soap refused to accept those words as the truth. He rolled his eyes seizing the opportunity that Ghost weren't looking. He walked up to him and carefully put his hand at the base of Ghost's nape. He gave him time to move away and when he didn't, Soap put all his body weight on his arm.

Ghost groaned and grabbed Soap's arm tightly.

"I can feel how you are perfectly fine."

"You are certainly not helping, Soap."

"But ah could be! You just have to let me." The Scott pulled out his hand from Ghost's grasp.

"I am not rubbing my back with this stinking magic alcohol you try to force on everyone."

Soap made an exaggerated shocked expression, even if Ghost couldn't see it. "It's from my grandma! And it's good for literally everything! Sore throat? Drink it. Stuffed nose? Rub a little on your neck. Something hurts? Rub it in! It's magic and you all don't believe me!"

"I will reek like a fucking distillery."

"How do you know?" Soap crossed his arms.

"Because you use it almost everyday and I can smell it. I am surprised that Price didn't think you were drunk after you used it the first time."

"Well- ok, maybe. It isn't even what I wanted to do. I will give you a massage."

Ghost shifted on his bed. "No."

"But why! Ye want to suffer for the rest of the week? We have a mission soon." Johnny whined.

"You won't do it properly and it will fuck me up even more, besides you know how-" Ghost seemed to be considering his wording. "How I deal with-" Ghost couldn't finish the sentence. So Soap finished it for him in his mind- 'touch'.

Ghost wasn't a fan of touch. When they have met, Soap was unaware of that fact, but now he could tell when Ghost will be tolerating his touchiness and when it was better to keep his distance. What was important is that sometimes Soap seemed to be the only one falling under 'somehow comforting' instead of just 'tolerated'.

"I can massage you through you clothes if it would make you feel better, Simon. And ah didn't mean a normal massage. I want to try something my ma used to do when I was small. Will you let me?"

"......Get on with it then."

If Soap could scream he would, of course he mostly did it for Ghost, but he would be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy it. Bringing comfort to people he lov- cared about felt especially rewarding to him.

Soap hopped onto the bed, swung one of his legs over Ghost and sat on his things. "Alright?"

Ghost's ears were burning red, but he nodded. Soap took a deep breath.

"Close yer eyes and at least try to relax. You are a pile of stiff muscles... And do not laugh at what I am about to do or I will break your spine lad."

Soap laid his palms flat on Ghost. "It was a stormy day..." He tapped his fingers all over the Brit's back and shoulders. "The rain got stronger that ever." He put a little bit more strength into taping his fingers, pressing longer when he felt tension under the fabric. "Suddenly a lady in heels appeared, running through the storm." Soap mimicked a walking pattern with his hands. "After her there was a man in heavy boots." He pushed his clenched fists into Ghost's shirt, kneading the tension away. And Soap could feel it, the tension leaving Ghost's shoulders, the muscles relaxing under him. Soap continued with his little story, trying to represent it with his hands on Ghost. Ghost was shuddering every now and then, holding his sheets for dear life.

Suddenly Soap blew cold air on his neck. "Did the goose bumps go away?"

Ghost took a sharp inhale.

"Usually I would be already asleep when my mom did that or tell her 'no' so she would do it one more time." Soap was mindlessly caressing Ghost's shoulders now and noticed that Ghost is still shuddering. "Hey, you alright, Si?"

"Close your eyes." Ghost whispered, voice strangled.

Soap did as requested, he felt some movement under him.

"You can look." Ghost was resting just as before, face pressed into the pillows. The only difference was that, now he was shirtless. "Go again."

Soap felt butterflies exploding in his stomach. He was never met with so much trust from Ghost, he not only let him see him but also let him touch his beautiful skin. Soap felt special.

And if Ghost still had his face burried into pillows, only because his cheeks were wet with tears- no one had to know. Soap not only made Ghost enjoy touch again, he made him crave it.

My mom used to do that when I was stressed or couldn't sleep so I really wanted to include it. The story Soap is telling is what I remember to be told, but it all sadly starts to get blurry.

[rosietaeyongswife]

maps | jjh

genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, secret agent jaehyun x reader synopsis: Your husband was killed year ago by an unknown man. The griev and unsolved case kept you at night. After meeting your late husband's unfamiliar friend, you found new mission in your life. Find out who killed your husband Jaehyun. wc: 7.5k tw: cursing, blood, death, suggestive themes, guns, misscariage, grammar mistakes etc. au: it's been a long time lol there are still mistakes for sure, but i think i got better? at least i'm trying. hope you enjoy this. as always, i made it with jaehyun, because he literally fits every role??? peace yo

"It's been a year, move on." Your father sat down with a cup of tea in his left hand. "I love you, you're my daughter and I'm aware you loved him deeply. We all are. I mean, you can't ruin your life, because your husband got killed. I'm not saying you should forget him, I'm saying you should move on, Y/N. Please."

Seems like it's about 100th time your father brings the topic. Not even mentioning other people in your life. They could never understand the pain you feel. They could never understand how does it feel to lose person you've loved for so many years.

"How am I supposed to move on, dad? Tell me, how? I can't sleep at night, I have to go to therapy and take these pills that makes me weak as a bitch, and I don't even have an energy to talk with you, yet you're here telling me to move on?" Telling him all that felt relieving. Made you feel lighter. "You don't have any idea how it is. None of you! I don't want to see you or mom, coming here and acting as if y'all are my therapist."

"We're trying to help you, you're our daughter. We mean only the best for you, okay? Honey, you can't freeze in time and griev your whole life. Jaehyun wouldn't want that."

"Don't speak about it. You didn't even know him. Leave it, please."

Jaehyun was married to you for almost four years, and these were the best years of your life. You met at high school, then started dating at your senior year at college, and get married two years later. The job he had made your life harder. He was working for Korean Secret Forces, as an agent. High rank, excellent skills and results.

He was supposed to be go on a trip to Japan, when he got shot and killed. No one knows why, nor how did it happened.

"Y/N, you have still a lot to live. Being mean towards us won't change a thing. I'm leaving, if you need something, call us."

Cementary felt like your second home. A year ago, you used to come here everyday for two months, then lesser and now you're doing it once a week. Always brining candles or flowers with you. Your husband deserves to never be forgotten.

Crossing path, you spotted a man sitting by your husband's grave. Walking slowly to see who is it, you saw a face you've never seen before.

"Mind asking, who you are?"

Man turned around, and looked into your eyes. He was about 10cm highter than you, and had white, medium lenght hair. His gaze was strong, and gave you chills.

"You're his wife, right?" You nodded. "Jaehyun was a great man. I've never had a chance to meet you, and talk because of work, but I used to work with your husband. We were pretty close, I guess." He seems to be saying the truth, but you were bit taken aback. You knew majority of Jaehyun friends, but not him. "Jaehyun probably never mentioned my name, I am Yuta."

"Nice to meet you. My name is Y/N." You two shake your hands. "Is there a reason why he didn't meniton you?"

"Listen Y/N, I can't tell you much-"

"He was killed by Secret Forces, wasn't he? It wasn't an accident." You claimed while blankly staring at Yuta.

"How-"

"Jaehyun was too good for a rookie mistake, I'm sure he would dodge the bullet. Answer me honestly."

Yuta sighed. People way above him, or Jaehyun, made an awesome narrative. Most skilled and talented man of Secret Forces got shot by unknown man on his off duty. Unbeliveable lie.

"It for sure wasn't an accident. As I said, I can't tell you much. But I want you to be careful, it's dangerous. Jaehyun found something and it got him killed. I don't want you to die or to suffer, because of that. I promised Jaehyun to keep an eye on you."

Your heart almost stopped, and your vission was blurry. Of course, you had some theories on why did Jaehyun die, but mostly it was his postion in work. Many would kill for his job, and it'd be good reason to kill him. But now, as you're aware it wasn't it, you felt sick.

"What are you talking about? What did he find?"

"I can't tell you, because I'm not aware of everything. I'd suggest for you to not dig into it. Live your life, and don't look for anything, Y/N."

"My husband was killed, because he found something. He was killed, while we have expected the baby! He left me alone, hearbroken and lonely. Don't you think, I deserve at least the reason?"

"Baby? You're mother?"

Yuta was surprised, because he has been following you for months, since Jaehyun knew he was in trouble, yet he had never seen you with a child.

"I had a misscariage. It was thrid month, when Jaehyun died. Due to stress and everything, my body gave up. Awful times." You tried to laugh, but you failed. "I don't want to complain about my life, there's no point. I want the truth."

"Just leave it. Jaehyun died because of your co-called 'truth', so you better move on. Forget about me, and forget we met." Yuta made his way out of the grave, but he turned quickly. "I'm sorry for your loss. About Jaehyun, and your baby. Good luck, Y/N."

The first thing that came to your mind to call Jungwoo and Johnny to meet. Two of them were best buddies with Jaehyun, they had to know something. You demand answers.

"Do any of you know Yuta?"

Jungwoo and Johnny looked at each other, which was obvious for you - they do.

"Why you're asking?" Jungwoo chuckled. "I thought we were supposed to hang out and talk shit."

"I met him today. At cementary, at Jaehyun's grave to be exact." Johnny chocked on his saliva. "Why I had no clue about him?"

"What did he say?"

"Johnny, don't fuckin do it. Answer me, you two, now. I've been gaslighted for a year. Is it some joke to you? To play dumb around me?"

"Relax, it's not that deep."

"Answers."

"Yuta was working with Jaehyun for few months." Jungwoo stated as he was taking a sip of his beer. "He's japanese member of the crew. Yuta Nakamoto was working with Jaehyun on some project, extra secretive thing. We don't know what were they doing, though."

"So, what did he say?"

"Jaehyun found something that got him killed. I told y'all it wasn't an accident. I've known it was a murder. I knew."

"Y/N, you can't just believe in every word he says. We don't know him well, he migh've been lyin-"

"I believe him. Please." You rolled your eyes. "My husband wasn't some kind of a rookie, nope. He was the captain of his crew, soon to be officer. How couldn't he dodge the bullet? In the daylight? And the suspect have never been found. Sounds weird to me."

"There was an open investigation, and we were working hard-"

"Don't bullshit me, right now."

"Even if it's true, stay out of this. It's clearly something he wasn't supposed to know, and look. He's six feet under, now, sniffing the flowers from the other side." Johnny said firmly. The tone was suspicious, and you realize he was nervous. "Can we change the subject?"

Agony. You got rid of agony. In your life there's a new mission. To find the truth. You won't rest easy until you get to know what happened. Why did your husband had to die.

The lock of the attic opened. After Jaehyun's death, police came and took some of his personal stuff. You didn't give them everything, though. There must be something in his stuff.

After an hour, you didn't find much. Some rapports, evidence on minor crimes, suspects, scratches of something, to-do lists, and notes he used to make for you. As when you were about to give up, you found small piece of paper with a phone number on.

"What?" Male voice came from the other side. A bit cold, you'd say. "Who are you?"

"Hey, I am Y/N. Jung Y/N." Silence. "Jaehyun's wife."

"How did you get my phone number?"

"I found it. May I ask, who are you?"

"No, you're not going to ask me questions." Cold tone made you annoyed. "Jaehyun is dead, and here you are calling me. Why?"

"I know Jaehyun got murdered by his company. Please, I need to find the truth. I was looking for clues in his stuff, so I came across this phone number. I need help."

"I can't help you. I-"

"Please. I'll do everything."

Short silence made you believe, he's about to hang up.

"Meet me at 10. I'll send you adress. Alone." He sighed. "If you're from police, you're dead. See ya."

The adress seems sketchy as fuck, but you had to risk it. You felt like throwing up, because of the stress and everything that's about to happen. You were working as a private math teacher, not as a detective.

Area you're in, was abandomen long ago. There were only empty and destroyed buildings around, and not a sound of life around. Suddenly, you felt hands around you and on your mouth. Someone grab you, and took you in one of the building.

In front of you, were two men. One, black hair and bunny-like face, and the other one looked like a character straight from the anime.

"Are you a plug? Police? FBI? CIA? Secret Forces? SWAT?" You remember the voice, it's a guy who you've spoken to this morning. The guy with a black hair. "Answer us, now."

"No? The fuck! I told you, I'm Jaehyun's wife. I swear to God, I'm working as a private math teacher. I have no connection to police, besides my late husband."

"Taeyoung, check her ID."

They took your documents, and in fact, you wasn't lying.

"She's not lying. She's really Jaehyun's wife."

"Fuck." The other male sighed. "I told him to burn my phone number, dumb fucker. Why did you call? What do you want?"

"I want to know what happened to Jaehyun. I met Yuta today, I guess you must know him." They nodded. "I don't know if you're from Secret Forces, but you knew Jaehyun. The note wasn't in his offical case, why? Who are you?"

"I'm Kim Doyoung. I'm a hacker, and old friend of Jaehyun. We got few classes together back in college."

"And you?"

"Lee Taeyong. I'm his best friend, roommate and I used to be Jaehyun's plug."

"Jaehyun had a plug? Why? What?"

"I see you're confused." Doyoung softened. "Yuta must told you to stay out of this case, right? Why don't you listen? You need adrenaline? If yes, go to Bunjee jump. You want to get yourself killed?"

The way him, Taeyong and Yuta were so secretive made your blood boil. Also, the fact you had no idea Jaehyun knew them was even more annoying.

"If your wife got killed, wouldn't she want to know what happened? I demand answers. They can't get away with killing an innocent person."

"As if it was that easy." Taeyong sat down with a gun in his hand.

"You want answers?" You nodded. "Alright. But I don't guarante, you're going to be safe later. I can't promise that." You agreed without a word. "Jaehyun was a right man. He had his morals, and let's say, he didn't agree with few things with his boss and other assholes."

"He was in China, right?" Taeyong asked. "It all started there. During his stay there, and mission an innocent men got killed. He was chinese-korean, living with his wife and two kids. Provider of the family, and taxi driver. Jaehyun got told, he was super dangerous killer who killed around 10 korean soldiers in X Zone. The mission was easy. Get rid of the target."

"So he did. He and his people, including Jungwoo and Johnny. They had no idea, he was completly innocent guy. He was just a taxi driver, who wouldn't hurt a fly. The above wanted to get rid of him to show chinese mob, they don't care. Jaehyun got to know by accident, because he overheard his boss talking about it."

"It turned out, they killed more innocent people. He found corruption, and more evidence on illegal cases in the company. Doyoung hacked the system, and I asked the right people." Your brain was trying to process what they were saying. "There was a case of files tittled with his last name. They planned to get rid of evidence, and frame Jaehyun to become a hitman. Cruel killer, who killed innocent guys."

"What?"

"Jaehyun told them to turn themselfs in. To go to a trial court. Before he even told them, someone snitched on him. We don't know who, but they knew. The above ordered to kill him as soon as possible. I believe it must've been someone from his team. They can't be trusted, Y/N." Doyoung sighed. "Not even Jungwoo, or Johnny. We have no idea how much they know."

Your world was spinning around, and many more questions come with it. It felt as if your life got ruined in seconds. Your husband was always someone, who people looked up to. He hated discrimination, and lack of justice. He knew too much.

"But Yuta is alive."

"Jaehyun never mentioned Yuta. We're sure, they tortured him before getting on that street and shooting him. Someone was supposed to tell the truth, but Yuta can't be another one killed."

"Jungwoo and Johnny, they know?"

"They have to know." Taeyong said with a smile. "Think. They were close, if they didn't then Jaehyun wouldn't trust them. Who knows. Maybe they killed him."

There's no way. Jungwoo and Johnny were best friends with Jaehyun for years. They could never hurt him, not saying about killing him. They weren't capable, were they?

"I need to find the killer, and the evidence. I'll end what Jaehyun has started. I don't care, I have nothing to lose." You stood up, still overwhelmed by all the informations. "Even if it means, I'm going to die. Jaehyun didn't deserve to die."

"Y/N, it's danegrous. You can't put yourself into danger, because of grief and rage. Think about it. You can still get your life together-"

"No. I need to do it for him. And I need your help."

That night, you couldn't sleep. All you was thinking about was your hsuband and guys he was working with. There is no turning back now, you're going to get your revenge. No matter what. But the only thing couldn't let go. Yuta was keeping an eye on you for months, and yes, you had theory someone was following you, or stalking. Few times, you've spotted a shadow in your house. Some car passing your house three times a day. But you could swear to God, the shadow or sillhouete you've spotted was taller than Yuta. Yuta was about 5'10, while the person you saw so many times was for sure taller. Could Jaehyun sent someone else too?

After you left, Doyoung and Taeyong looked at each other sending signal.

"Y/N found us." Doyoung was gripping his phone hard, while waiting until the other person say something. "She called me earlier today. I am sure, she's going to find the killer."

"Don't let her. Keep her safe, Doyoung."

"It's too late now."

"Understood."

Taeyoung looked at his friend stressed. They nodded at each other, and went to their places waiting for next things coming.

"I'm so happy, you're moving on!" Your mother hugged you. "Are you sure about moving out part? It's your house, after all."

"Living here reminds me of Jaehyun too much. I found nice apartament in the centre of city, and I'm going to live closer to the company. Only prons."

"Jungwoo is picking you up?"

"He's already there." Your friend honked. "I gotta go. Let's go. I'm starting new chapter."

"We're proud of you." Your dad kissed your cheek. "Call us when you're in your new place. We're happy for you."

Drive to your new place was really comfortable, Jungwoo was cracking jokes all the time and he was expressing how happy he was for you.

"By the way, thank you. I really appreciate you recommended me for the company and you're driving me to my new place."

"Please, don't. It's just a pleasure to help you, Y/N. I am here for you anytime." He smiled at you. "You know, we are buddies now."

"Yes, dude."

"You sound like Mark now."

"Is it a bad thing?"

"Duh. He overuse 'dude'. Don't be like Mark."

Jungwoo wasn't right. Dude is literally Mark. Mark is dude. There's no Mark Lee without a 'dude' every few seconds. Almost like a comma.

After a month of working in Secret Forces as analyst, you were secured in your spot. No one suspected you of anything. Not many knew you were widow and Jaehyun's wife. Only the above knew, and Johnny, Jungwoo and Mark. You were lowkey about your business, and never mentioned anything harmful to you.

"We're going to hang out and drink sojuu, you're coming?" Mark asked with sparkling eyes. "Please, you always decline. Only me, Johnny, Jungwoo and Taeil. He went to the same University as you, I believe."

"Mark, I have a work to do. I need to do research, and write a raport."

"And you have a weekend for that. Just this once. We're not that bad, after all. Boys wants you to come. C'mon."

"Bet."

Mark left happy, because after 5th time asking, you agreed. By the time he was gone, you could check your other phone. You saw notification popping up on your homescreen.

dy: i need u to go and find login to y'all system dy: asap dy: don't get caught tho

Every single worker have own login, but login of people with high ranks are different each. With a sigh, you left your office and went towards the lift. You waved to few people, you got to know, and went to 14th floor. There must be the office of your boss.

There was no one in sight, so you just went in carefully. He was gettin his daily coffee on 4th floor with his friends, so he won't be there any time soon. You knew there were cameras, but Doyoung took care of that long time ago.

"Fuck. Where's the damn laptop."

As far as you know, they don't use their logins on official PC's, but have their own laptops with a base of every file possible.

Finally, you spotted black laptop on the pile of books in the corner. Looking around, you put USB cable in laptop. Thanks to that, Doyoung can hack everything from the laptop.

dy: i need 2 minutes dy: ok take the cable off, and meet me in your smoking spot behind the building

"I'm going out with boys tonight. After the work. In an hour."

"Be careful, though. Remember, we don't know how much do they know."

"They were best friends with Jaehyun. They couldn't be harmful."

"Maybe you're right, but there's no harm in being careful." He sighed. "I'll check everything, and tell you what we found. For now, be sure no one saw you."

The restaurant was really comfy, and have it's vibe. You felt as you were a kid again with your parents on Sunday's dinner. Nostalgic place.

"The owner is my uncle." Taeil laughed. "He opened the restaurant like 5 years ago? It's one of the best, I swear to God."

"Your uncle?" You were in disbelief. "The food is amazing. I love their dumplings."

"My uncle is the same person as Gordon Ramsey."

"Maybe let's not go there." Johnny cut off laughing. "You're lying."

"Ya, do you doubt me!"

"Gentlemen, stop."

The conversation went smoothly. You got to know, Taeil was your senior while you were freshman in the University.

"I remember the time we were training, and we were supposed to get all 10s with shooting, but Jungwoo missed every single one."

"Ya, really! I got 6, it's not bad."

"You're classified as blind, Woo. Don't you know?" Taeil laughed with Johnny. "He's really fit, but the guns and him aren't good couple."

"I have hidden talent with guns."

"And it stays hidden, Jungwoo." Johnny rolled his eyes. "And you Y/N? Have you ever held a gun?"

"Not really. I am clueless about all the weapons. Even knives. The only knife I've ever came across, was the one to peel the apples. Really."

"Then why did you join us? I mean, our job is almost like American CIA or FBI. I know your analyst, but why here?"

Taeil asked you question, and you froze for a minute. Jungwoo noticed your confused expression, and get you out of the awkward situation.

"Discrimination? Just because she wasn't trained like us means, she can't work with us? Ya, Moon Taeil, I thought you wasn't a jerk."

All of you were laughing, and you were thankful for him saving you.

"No! Sorry, I just-"

"I was bored. Math teacher isn't exciting, right? I found there was a need for analyst, so I applied. I need adrenaline in my life."

"Don't we all?" Mark sighed. "But our job is kinda boring. We don't do much nowadays."

"And nice. We should rest." Johnny took a sip of sojuu. "Let's drink and have a blast before coming back to that shithole in two days."

Two hours passed, and you were ready to come back home. Boys seems to have fun, and they planned to go Taeil's place to have more sojuu and watch movies.

"I really gotta go. I had fun, and I really like you, but it's getting darker." You claimed, while taking your coat on. "Bye."

They waved you goodbye, but Mark stopped you.

"Wait! Jungwoo is totally wasted, and he's asking if you could drive him home. I mean, you're the only one who wasn't drinking." He held his neck. "If no, then we can call the cab."

"No need for that." You smiled. "I'll get his drunk ass and get him to his place. Where's he?"

Jungwoo was sitting on the passenger seat, and he was white as ghost.

"Woo, are you alright?"

"I think Imma throw up." The mumble wasn't clear, and it took you a second to understand.

"Shit, wait. We're going to my place, it's closer. You look like you're about to pass out. You can stay the night."

"Can I?"

"Oh, shut up."

Taking Jungwoo into your place wasn't an easy task. He was 6ft, and his ass wouldn't hurry up, which made you go to the door for about 10 minutes.

"Here, sit down and drink some water." You passed him the glass. "Are you going to throw up?"

"I am not sure."

"Sit there, I'll take a shower. If you need to throw up, there's a bowl under the sink."

Jungwoo saluted, and you chuckled. You must admit, he was kinda cute. You slapped yourself mentally for that thought. You can't think about him in that way, after all he's your dead husband friend.

You came back to Jungwoo laying on the couch with his eyes closed, thinking he was sleeping, you was walking on your tippy toes.

"I'm not sleeping, Y/N. Can you come here?" He opened his arm. "C'mon. Please. I am so drunk, I can't. I need a hug."

"Jungwoo, I don't think-"

"Just lay down, and relax. I'm not going to touch you, c'mon."

Jungwoo made space for you. Being this close to him, made you nervous. It's been a while since you was this close to a man.

"Why aren't you sleeping, dumbass? You look like a ghost.

"Ah, really. I still have a time. You know what, I really respect you, Y/N. I admire how strong you are, and how smart you are. Really. I'm always surprised because of you."

"Jungwoo, don't sugarcoat me." You chuckled. "You're drunk."

"I mean it. I really, really mean it. I'm happy you're moving on with your life. Jaehyun was lucky to have you, you know. I've been jealous of him." You chuckled, because drunk Jungwoo was funny and he wasn't aware of his words. "Don't laugh. We all were jealous of you two."

"Woo, please. There's other couples like that. It's a past. I need to move on, and I did, to be honest. I'm not thinking about Jaehyun that much." There was a bit of truth in that. You couldn't tell others about your plan, so it was better to make them think you really moved on, but at the other hand. You missed being loved. "I think I should date again."

"Ya, that's what I'm saying!" He said confidently with a pout. "I agree. But Y/N. I really like you. We've been hanging out a lot past weeks, and I really like you. I found you pretty and I'd like to kiss you."

Before you could answer, surprised with his confession he was long asleep on his back. Your heart skipped a beat, because you had no clue someone have a crush on you. Someone like Kim Jungwoo. You knew Jaehyun would like you to date one of his friends, instead of complete stranger.

"If I ever pass away, please. Y/N date either Johnny or Jungwoo." He was caressing your cheek. "I know they would take great care of you. I trust them. If you'd date a stranger, they know to kill him, you know."

"Jaehyun don't even say that. Only person I'm going to date is you. Don't talk about your dead, you're not going to die."

"You never know. In this line of work, you gotta be ready for everything. I told them the same thing. Personally, I'd took Jungwoo. He isn't going to work the same job as long as he thought."

"Honey, you're my husband talking about dating your best friend. Let's not."

He chuckled and kissed you. Little did you know, Jaehyun was aware he didn't have much left to live.

"I like you too." You whispered, and fall asleep.

'I left to work. Sorry for the trouble! I don't even remember how did I end up at your place! Not mentioning, sleeping next to you. LOL. I was wasted as fuck. Sorry again! I made you breakfast, hope you like scrambled eggs with kimchi and toast. See ya at work! Jungwoo~'

Smile crept on your face, because it was lovely. It's been a long time since someone made you breakfast. You shook your head, and reminded yourself to not get distracted.

"I found something interesting." Doyoung said while eating cookies, Taeyoung bought. "Look."

He passed you his laptop, and there was files named after Jaehyun and they were marked as top secret. You opened them, and there were synopsis of him and his life. You were also mentioned there as his wife, but not much.

"What's interesting in there?"

"Look at the date of his death. 12th February. He was killed five days later. We have a direct evidence his death was planned."

"I knew it. Who else can open these?"

"Not many. Bosses and officers. There's many suspects, Y/N. I saw someone deleted some files, and I tried to recover them. I'm not sure if it's possible."

"Do your best, please. I am sure, Johnny and Jungwoo don't know exactly what happened with Jaehyun."

"How?"

You could tell he wasn't convinced.

"I just know. They must been suspicious of Yuta, that's why they were nervous."

"Remember, you can't be sure of anything."

"I know them longer than I do you. I can tell when something is off."

"Don't let your feelings take control of you."

"I don't."

Taeyong laughed.

"You're not as trained as we are. No one can be trusted. We're partners, we can trust each other, but them? I'm not sure."

"I shouldn't trust you, since I don't know you. But guess what. I'm doing my best, so please. Shut up." You got up. "I'm going to the company. If you have something, let me know."

As soon as you left, Doyoung called.

"Yuta, keep an eye on her in the company. Especially on Jaehyun's buddies."

"Fuck. I told you to get this idea out of her mind."

"Was I supposed to let her do it on her own, and get her killed? Jaehyun wouldn't be happy."

"She's getting too comfortable. We can't let her know everything, Doyoung. You deleted the files?"

"I did. I sent them."

"Good. Bye."

Kim Doyoung told you, he wasn't able to find the deleted files. You couldn't blame him for his failed mission, since he was doing already a lot. At the other hand, you tried asking people. Mentioning Jaehyun, but no a single soul had any idea about him, or his death.

Boys and you hang out again. This time, you got drunk. You didn't have to do much for work, since you got everything done before deadline. Jungwoo drive you home.

"Ah, Y/N. You're cute when you're drunk."

"I feel sarcasm, idiot."

"It's not." He laughed. "You look pretty. Here we are." He parked in front of your building. "Dummy."

"Kiss me then."

"What?"

"You said I'm pretty. Kiss me or you're lying."

You were way too drunk to care, or to be aware of your words.

"You're drunk-"

"Do it."

Jungwoo was looking into your eyes, the next second his hands cuped your cheeks and he was kissing you. The kiss lasted for few seconds, and it got you warmed up.

"Y/N-"

"Wanna come in?"

On your way to your place, both of you were kissing, not giving a damn about people passing you. It felt as if you two were waiting for this moment to come for the longest time ever. As you were kissing Jungwoo, you couldn't put the key in.

"Let me do it."

Next thing you remember, was the two of you undressing in your bedroom. Jungwoo didn't break the kiss, when he was getting your clothes off.

"I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time." He whined. "You really turn me the fuck on."

"Kim Jungwoo, just fuck me."

Both of you, too busy with each other, failed to notice tall silhouete standing in the dark corner of your place watching you. The man clenched his fists hard, feeling his blood boil. Jaehyun was watching his best friend fuckin his wife. He wanted to get out the shadow, and kill Jungwoo for it. He wanted to scream, but he knew he couldn't. Officialy, he's dead.

"I'll kill him." He whispered, and left as quiet as he entered.

Jung Jaehyun is very alive, and healthy.

Past days were peacful and relaxed, something you couldn't feel for a while. Jungwoo and you weren't dating yet. You wanted to take things slow, because at the back of your head, you could see Jaehyun.

Peace was broken, when Yuta paid you a visit.

"Listen, I don't care what you're doing with who, but I can't agree for you to lose your mind over someone." He sighed. "There's no one you can trust, especially Jaehyun's ex friends."

"The only person I shouldn't trust is you, Yuta. I don't know you at all, Doyoung and Taeyong don't talk about you, nor Jaehyun did. It's logical for me to trust them, not you."

Yuta felt as he was talking to a child. You were stubborn, way too much for Yuta's liking. His Japanese temper was getting real bad with you. He felt hopeless, because no matter how many times, he's telling you to stay away from Jaehyun ex co-workers, you don't listen.

"How do you know they didn't get their hands dirty with Jaehyun? What if they're involved but you don't know? You don't know them, Y/N. You have this pov of them as your husband's co-workers, not as actual people."

"Wait." You paused. "Don't you and boys know somethind I don't? Doyoung also told me to stay away from them. Why?"

"You know I don't." His body tensed up. "For some reason, as you claim, your husband didn't tell anything to them. I know, I know." He rolled his eyes. "It was dangerous, but they were friends for years, Y/N, years. Not even a word?"

Doyoung was walking down the woods, hidden from the city. Not many people visited the woods, because they weren't fameous as other one.

"You're alone?" Doyoung nodded as he entered small house. "What's up."

"You're not going to do anything with Jungwoo? He's fuckin your wife, Jaehyun. It's so painfully obvious. She likes him."

Jaehyun clenched his jaw.

"Not now. I can't just kill him out of the blue. For now, it's alright as long as he's not putting her in danger. I sent Yuta to talk to her, but she's not interested in his advice."

"Y/N is independant. I mean, she left the theraphy long ago, and her main goal is to find your killer."

"Only if she knew what really happened."

"Are you going to reveal yourself?"

"No. It's better if I'm away from her."

Finding a killer of your late husband was draining. Jungwoo didn't have a clue what you're up to. He found you looking through multiple files at night, but he never dared to ask what's that.

Taeyong tried his best at finding answers to your questions, but there were none. He felt like giving up, together with Doyoung. It was complicated to find people, who know something. It was like a never ending task.

"Jaehyun body was never found. I think I'd cry out of happines if he would be alive somehow." You admited to Doyoung, who was sipping on his coffee. "Sometimes I feel like he's still with me. His presence."

"Even after dating Jungwoo?"

"Yes. I can't explain that feeling, but he's there. His ghost, at least."

Doyoung made a mental note to inform Jaehyun to keep it lowkey, since you probably could tell something is off. Maybe Jaehyun wasn't doing great job with following you? It could ruin a lot.

"Ghosts aren't real. You miss him, so your imagination makes you feel like he's here. Simple."

"Yes, I know. Still, I'd like to hang out with him for the last time. Do you know what's last thing we did?"

"Tell us." Yuta said, and you rolled your eyes at him. "I'm just asking, I swear to God."

"We had a fight. Cliche, yes. We had a fight about him not being at home much, because of work. I even thought he was cheating on me, because none of his friends spent so much time at the company as he did." You chuckled. "Then I realized how stupid it sounds, and I apologized. The next morning we were supposed to go to our favorite cafe, but as y'all know. He vanished and got shot."

"Were you supposed to tell him about pregnancy?"

"Of course. I planned to talk with him at our favorite place, and let him know he's about to become a father."

"Life's a bitch."

"Exactly. But for you it's past. Paniful past, but past. Now you're living new life, maybe you really should give up on finding Jaehyun's killer."

And maybe Yuta was right.

"I think I should. I have no clues, and no one knows anything. I am tired. One day I will know the truth, but not now."

"Facts. You have Jungwoo, right? You're in love and-"

"I am not." You cut Doyoung off. "I like him, and he's my boyfriend, but I can't say I'm in love with him. It's far from that."

"Understood, miss."

Your apartament was empty when you come. Jungwoo would hang out with you after work, but today he had to leave to Busan with Johnny. As you were walking around, you heard noise. The first thing you did, was to run for a knife.

"I'll kill you, if you step any further." You hissed.

To your surprise, Taeyong came out of shadow. He was wearing all black, and had a sad smile on his face.

"Easy. I'm not here to kill you, Y/N. I'm leaving Korea tonight." He got the knife out of your hand, and put it down on the counter. "I'm here to tell you what I know."

"What's going on? Did something happened? Someone's after you?"

"Not yet." He sighed. "I got the informations from secret documents, that Doyoung blocked. I don't know why, probably for you to feel safer. I recovered them, and I found something disturbing. The messages from a week ago. The man who killed Jaehyun is about to kill you."

Your vision became blurry, and you felt your throat tightening, making it hard to breathe.

"Do you know who sent them?"

"I don't. They were between two people, they're anonymous. No one can know, but one of them is going to try to kill you anytime soon. Probably this week. Please, stay safe. Be ready for anything, buy a gun, whatever. You can't trust no one, Y/N. I gotta go. It'd be better for you to have security or don't leave your place at night. Don't stay alone, okay?"

"Taeyong, why-"

"I have to, Y/N. I could be in trouble for warning you, plus I don't want Doyoung to get hurt. I'll get in touch as soon as possible, but for now." He turned around. "Lock the door, and find a weapon."

You did as Taeyong said. No one knew about the plan of killing you. No one can be trusted, especially after what Taeyong told you. Not even Jungwoo knew, besides the fact he was sleeping next to you every night. He was keeping you close, but it wasn't enough. You felt scared.

Past days, you didn't notice anyone following you. Mark, and Taeil would drop you off from work since you told them your car is gettin repaired, even though it wasn't true. Yuta and Doyoung didn't sense your odd behaviour. They thought you have tough days with work, since you told them you're giving up at finding Jaehyun's killer. Well, seems like he found you.

"Y/N, dinner's ready." Jungwoo smiled at you warmly. "I made your favorite, and bought wine on my way home. Is that fine?"

"Jungwoo, you didn't have to do all of this. I am thankfull, I appreciate that. You're the best."

"Today is special day. I want us to have the best dinner, and most magical time ever."

"Why?" You chuckled surprised. "Did something happend?"

"No reason, just 7th sense."

Odd. Jungwoo was really happy today, as if something happened. You thought maybe it was because of a promotion, since he was about to level up at the Secret Forces.

"Oh, I think someone is calling me." Doyoung's name popped up on your screen, but Jungwoo was quick to take your phone out of your hands. "Jungwoo."

"Please. Tonight is about us, not about your friends. It's probably not that important anywas. Can we move on?"

Jungwoo was right. Doyoung was calling you pretty often, and you had no idea why. Sometimes he was asking about you, or sometimes he was bragging about some bullshit you had no interest in.

As you were sitting on your bed, you felt kind of dizzy. Your head was spinning, and Jungwoo's voice was hard to hear. You tried to stand up, but you couldn't.

"Jungwoo, what's going on?"

"What do you mean? Nothing."

"I feel-"

You got cut off by sudden banging on the door. Before you process what happened, there was a tall man in your bedroom. Both you and Jungwoo couldn't believe your own eyes.

"Ya, really." Jungwoo hissed. "You're fuckin kidding me, right."

"You wish, motherfucker." Jaehyun's voice made you weak. He was there. Alive. "Leave her, the fuck, alone."

"I thought I killed you, didn't I?" Jungwoo was cocky, and you were shocked. Kim Jungwoo? Your cute Kim Jungwoo, who doesn't even know how to hold a gun was Jaehyun's killer? And Jaehyun's alive? "You're tough cookie, Jaehyun."

"It's not that easy to get rid of me. Now, leave my wife alone and step back before I'll slit your throat open."

"Wow, easy there, superman. I thought you were dead, but turnes out I missed? Fuck. I'll try better now."

"What is going on?" You asked still dizzy. "Jaehyun, you're alive. What happened? Please, tell me." Your eyes got wattery.

"Y/N, I need you to leave the bedroom. Leave the place, and call Doyoung and Yuta. Now."

"Nope, please."

Before you could do anything else, Jungwoo was coming at you with a knife, but Jaehyun pushed you away. You were on all four, creeping out of the bedroom. Seems like Jungwoo gave something in your drink or food. You lost balance, and you were laying down on the floor in the kitchen. Only banging, and grunts were heard from your bedroom. You were losing conciousness, while trying hard to not and to hear what's going on.

"Your wife is good in bed, huh. You have no clue how satisfied I was, knowing I was fuckin what belonged to you, Jaehyun." Jungwoo spitted blood out of his mouth. "I felt glory."

"You sick fucker." He punched his enemy in the face. "Don't mention my wife again. You fucked up our life. I thought you were my best friend. You're a traitor, Jungwoo and you'll pay for it."

"I don't think anyone would believe you." Jungwoo smirked.

"Doyoung have everything on you. Yuta too. They did nothing, because you picked to get close to Y/N. She couldn't know what happened. Not then."

"I knew I should've killed her sooner."

Without any word, Jaehyun got his gun and shot Jungwoo in his head. Bullet went through his brain, making a mess in your bedroom. Jungwoo's liveless body dropped on the floor, on the pool of blood.

You opened your eyes, and closed them right after. It was too light for you, and it was painful. You tried the second time, and you could feel shift on the surface you were on.

"Y/N? Oh, thank God you woke up." Jaehyun took your hand in his, and you felt overwhelmed with emotions. Your husband. Your true love was alive. "I am so sorry for everything, darling. I fucked up, but I am here again. This time forever."

"You're alive. Why did you do it to me? Why did you leave me and didn't come back?" You were crying, while Jaehyun was holding his tears in. "I was waiting for you to come back. Deep down I wasn't done with the fact you're dead. You have no idea what you put me through."

"I did it all to keep you safe. I couldn't risk your life, because of me, Y/N. I couldn't lose you, that's why. I was keeping an eye on you from afar. Doyoung, Taeyong and Yuta helped me. They tried to keep you away from Jungwoo."

"Jungwoo." You whispered. "Is he dead?" He nodded. "You killed him."

"I mean, he tried to kill me first. He was involved in case with taxi driver, and corruption. He was money laundering with our boss, and got big check for 'killing' me. Thankfully, he missed my heart by inches. Doyoung helped me."

"You could've told me. At least warn me. I missed you so much for past year. I thought I'm going to die, because of your loss. Do you have any idea how it is?"

"I don't and I'm sorry. I know your life was turned upside down, but I love you. I always been and I always will. Now, I'll gotta do my best for world to see what happened. I have proof of every illegal thing they've done."

You nodded, and tried to stop sobbing.

"Why didn't you kill Jungwoo back then?"

"Because they said, they're watching you. Before they tried to kill me, they blackmailed me. They had soldiers stalking you, and told me if something goes wrong, you're dead. Then everything is history. Listen, I love you too much. I had to do it for us." He kissed your hand. "I am sorry about pregnancy, I had no idea you were pregnant. Maybe if I knew, I'd stop and-"

"Jaehyun, no." You cut him off mid sentence. "No. It's not our fault. Shit happenes. I got over it a year ago. It's our past. Now I understand your motives. I am not mad anymore, but please. Let's move out from here, and let's start new life somewhere else."

"I've always wanted to live in Switzerland."

"Sounds great."

Jaehyun chuckled, and leant in to kiss you. After all the dark times, you could kiss your lover. Jaehyun was finally with you. Maybe there's still a chance for better days.

[0and0its0doctor0]

Welcome! Masterlist!

Hello and welcome! My name is Bella, I am 32, I write Criminal Minds fanfiction for Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid and David Rossi. Please feel free to send story suggestions or prompt ideas or just say Hi! Here is a little masterlist of my current stories. 

Aaron Hotchner

I don't dance Summary: Aaron had a bad day. Twirling you around the kitchen makes him feel better.

I won't let go Summary: You wake up thinking everything is perfect. In reality you've been stabbed.

Unsub Kisses Summary: Aaron has to go undercover and makes out with the unsub. You get jealous.

You are the only thing I need. Like coffee in the morning Summary: Aaron asks you out…in front of everyone.

Why Wait? Summary: Vegas hotels have wedding chapels in the lobby. Aaron makes a decision.

Love you out loud Summary: Hotch cuddles. What could be better?

Shut up and dance with me! Summary: When you are asked to attend the annual FBI Gala you dress up. Hotch can't help himself.

Hostage Kisses Summary: He didn't mean to kiss you....No that's a lie. He totally did.

Sandwich Hearts Summary: You make Aaron's lunch and he gets lightly teased for it.

Lipstick smeared accidents Summary: When Aaron is checking over an injury on you he just can't help himself.

Keep on dreaming Summary: You fall asleep smushed between Aaron and David.

I’m dirty but you play clean 18+. Summary: Handcuffs. Hotchner. Lack of clothing.

I will not give you up this time Summary: Facebook memories are bringing you down. Aaron decides to do something about it. 

They tell me your blue sky’s faded to gray Summary: You can't sleep. Aaron helps. 

Asleep on the jet Summary: You fall asleep on Aaron’s shoulder on the jet.

Do I deserve this hurting? Summary: Your depression is plaguing you. Aaron helps comfort you. 

Spencer Reid

Marry me today and everyday Summary: Spencer has never been more nervous for anything in his life.

Heat Stroke Summary: You are self-conscious about the scars on your arms so you wear long sleeves. And wind up getting heat stroke. Spencer takes care of you.

We've all got bruises Summary: You mess up on a case and take it out on yourself. Spencer finds out and confronts you about it.

Sleep Issues Summary: Spencer can't sleep. You help just by being there.

There's no turning back now Summary: First kisses can be a scary thing.

Why? That's what I keep asking Summary: You don't fit in with anyone anymore. You can't keep faking it. You're so sorry.

Tonight will be the night I will fall for you Summary: Spencer suspects your boyfriend is beating you. When you show up on his doorstep, beaten, he vows to protect you.

They say we're crazy, I say well maybe that's true. Summary: Spencer is having a bad mental health day. You try to help him

I’ll wear out the words I love you Summary: Spencer finally asks the question that’s been on his mind for months…just not when and where you’d expect

So I’ll leave you gagged and bound Summary: You have been dating Aaron Hotchner for a few months and when he introduces you to the team Spencer Reid can't help but fall in love. The problem is Spencer's mental health is declining and fast. When he gets fired and realizes he has nothing to lose...he takes you. Will Aaron find you in time?

A subtle interest Summary: Emily drags Spencer to see her ballerina friend perform. Spencer falls fast. 

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage Summary: Spencer is not doing well. This is not a happy story. Trigger warnings apply. 

David Rossi

You belong to me I believe Summary: An unsub gets a little too flirty with you. David steps in.

Date Night 18+  Summary: Bella is new to the FBI and literally runs into David Rossi who she happens to have a massive crush on. He takes her out to dinner and they wind up on his couch.

[klaprisun]

One Sunny Day

(Stardew Valley)(Haley x Female Farmer)

Chapter 16

I'm in dire need of a trip to the Stardrop Saloon. I have been working my ass off on this farm non-stop, and a couple glasses of ice cold beer from Gus is going to do just the trick.

"Long time no see, Gus!" I holler as I enter the saloon.

"Ahhh Danny! Good to see you. I've heard lots about what you've been up to, but haven't gotten to see you," he replies as I take a seat at the bar.

"What do you mean you've 'heard what I've been up to'?"

"Oh you will regret you asked that. I'm sure they will answer everything you are questioning." Gus points to the arcade where the group usually hangs out. All of them are aware of my arrival and are waiting like hungry dogs for me to walk over there. Even Emily starts walking out from behind the counter and takes me by the arm to walk me over. I fumble to grab the handle of the beer Gus passed me just before we started walking away. This was not how I expected my night of relaxing to go. Instead, I am now being involuntarily investigated for who knows what.

"I didn't do it, whatever it was!" I shout, making myself sound guiltier than before.

Everyone had looked at me with confusion, but then burst out laughing.

"Can we not just want to hangout with you?" Maru chirps. I give her an accusing stare. I notice she looks at the others in the room with a suspicious look.

"Hey where is Haley?" I had noticed the spot beside Alex where she usually sits is empty.

"Got 'em," Sam says a little too loudly. The crowd, including me, shoots him a dirty look. He quickly puts his hand over his mouth as if the words just accidentally slipped out.

"What do you mean 'got 'em," I quiz Sam. He gives me a wide-eyed stare and slowly just shakes his head, not wanting to answer my question. I hear some of the group groan, some just put their hand on their forehead in disappointment.

"Jas saw you and Haley getting down and dirty, quite literally, in Aunt Marnie's cow pen. She told everyone," a voice chimes in from behind. When I turned around to see who spoke, it was Shane. He was standing in the exact same spot by the fireplace with a beer in his hand.

"Well aren't we mature, guys? Couldn't just come flat out and ask me!" I throw my hands up in the air when I turn back to look at them.

"We didn't want to...I don't know... center you out?" Leah tries. She makes a cringe face, knowing her comment did not help.

"You guys did an amazing job doing that," I clap my hands sarcastically. I won't lie, I am kind of amused at their attempt at subtleness. "Just because you guys tried so hard, I will stick around. DON'T over do it or I will leave."

Resting against the side of the pool table, facing the majority of the room, I take a sip of my beer and hold it out as if telling them to 'go on'.

"Well we all saw you guys dancing together at the Flower Dance of course. What was that about? Elliot wags his eyebrows as he asks.

"She didn't have a dance partner," I looked at Alex for a split second, then turned back and continued, "and I also didn't have a dance partner so naturally we just partnered up. That's not anything weird."

"You know what I meant, Danny."

I sheepishly look down at my muddy boots and tap them anxiously on the hardwood floor.

"You guys had a lot of chemistry going on there..." Abigail pitches in.

"Then we hear that you guys were getting it on in Marnie's cow pen?" Sebastian joins.

"We weren't 'getting it on'!" I howl in embarrassment while doing air quotes. I now truly know what it's like to not have privacy in this town.

"My sister hasn't stopped talking about you whether she knows she is doing it or not. Everyday it's 'Danny this. Danny that'. No offense, but I don't need to hear everything it is you are doing, or are planning to do," she gives me a friendly laugh. I know she didn't mean harm, but I couldn't stop focusing on the fact that Haley is talking about me all the time.

"She talks about me?" I inquire while slightly blushing, somehow forgetting that everyone is listening to me.

Sam perks up and aggressively sticks his hand out to me as a way of saying their point is proven.

"She isn't into me! She isn't even into girls. I don't know what you guys want from me. She is always on and off again with Alex which means she is clearly into him. Enough to keep going back." This has just turned into a big finger pointing game.

"Leave me out of this," Alex throws his hands up in surrender.

"Just like you randomly left her alone on the day of the Flower Dance? Do you know how much that means to her? And for someone else even! Who does that?" I snapped at him.

The room falls silent. No one dares to say a peep. My breath is heavy and unsteady. My anger level is starting to boil over.

"If you're into Haley just admit it and get this over with," he quietly and calmly replies.

"FINE! You guys want me to admit it? I'm into Haley! Are you all happy now?" I finally break, dramatically throwing my arms out to the sides with each sentence.

"We all knew, Danny. You didn't hide it well. We just wanted you to admit it and not think you have to hide it." Maru says gently.

"Why would I admit it when it makes no difference in how things are? She isn't into me and never will be. I'm nowhere even near her type. She hates how dirty I always am from being outside. She hates the way I dress. She hates the farm smell that lingers on me. She hates everything about me." I lay back onto the pool table, contemplating everything being said.

"The way she looks at you says otherwise," Penny quietly says.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better, but thank you for trying." I poke my head up as I speak to Penny, but rest it back down after.

"She was actually here the whole time," I hear Sam say. I quickly jump up off the pool table and look for her. I can't believe she just heard me say all that.

"I'm just fucking with you," Sam cracks up uncontrollably, swinging his body around as he laughs. Sebastian, who is sitting right next to him, puts his hand on Sam's shoulder and just shakes his head.

"Haha very funny," I shoot back sarcastically as I roll my eyes. I go back to just leaning on the pool table.

"Just tell her how you feel," Sam has finally stopped his laugh attack to pitch in.

"Just for her to go back to Alex eventually and hate me for ever being around her? Absolutely not. She'd be so disgusted if she found out I was into her and creeped out by the fact we hung out often."

"She wouldn't think that-," Emily tries.

"Did she tell you that?" I cut in before she could finish her sentence.

"No but-" Emily attempts once again. I throw my hand up to silence her and angrily leave the arcade.

"I'm not risking my pride and dignity just to get shot down," were the last words I called back before leaving the saloon all together.

[atlasprefects]

Vent?

I got this one friend,let's name her Jennie (not real name). She always call someone cringe- like literally someone just breathe and she call them cringe like wtf is wrong with her???

As you know,I love drawing and I always show it to my group of friends. I also had a group of artist friends irl even though two of them didn't know how to draw- we always get excited whenever we show each other our drawings at school. Then this Jennie girl come into our group and look towards my notebook full of my drawings and some I made fanarts for my irl friend.

When she open few pages,she point at one of my drawing and say cringe then show it to her classmate,saying weird things about that drawing I made. At that time I really want to smack her head but since I'm afraid to do so I just sit and watch her doing what she's doing.

God know how angry I am when she expose my notebook to other people- especially someone who I never knew! How am I not angry? I already feel like crying when she did that,it's rude and it's not nice saying something bad about what others like to do.

Well,Jennie is good at art but not good at drawing- art and drawing is different. She's good at coloring while I'm not,there's one time where I try to color an apple,try to make it look realistic and she already judged me saying like "do you even know how to color?" "Yours are ugly,mine is better" stuff like that and it make me feel down where I stop coloring and even drawing at the time.

Idk what's wrong with her. I can't blame her,she already like that since I met her at kindergarten. She always bullied me like taking my stuff away,hide my stuff and even force me to give my lunch at her. We both grow up together honestly, we always see each other everyday. When high school,I thought she change but nah,not really. She rarely bully me and often ask for my lunch money. But hell, she always look down on people and underestimate them,even me. Whenever I try to do something new she always make me feel down.

I'm in the third class while she's In the first class,the smartest class and I can't lie,she's smart but her attitude with other people can make your blood boil. I swear I won't show her any of my drawings anymore.

I might delete this later..or not

[bolontiku]

I cant... 🤣🤣 baking at a different cafe.

Work things under the cut

I knew people really didn't like me at work. Bahaha I didn't know it was this bad.

My Lil sister has been baking at a Cafe thats been shit to her, my other trainee was there and I got the Lil sis hired to do pan up (prep) work so she wouldn't have a hard time. Fast forward a few months that trainee went to another store (for better pay, a little suggestion to my boss). But this left the Lil sister alone, management promised to get her help.

A year later she is doing triple the work I do by herself with empty promises of help. So I talk to my Cafe GM about getting her transferred over to our Cafe as a retail employee. A step down but she wont be doing a job as stressful alone, it evens out. Everything is in the works and the baker in training decides to quit. They had pushed her transfer date back a month to train the new one. Getting closer to transfer date and the acting GM at her Cafe is coming up with excuses to not transfer her.

He will do it tomorrow. Oh, he's never done one. Doesn't know how to do it. He's busy in meetings. Promise... promise... promise...

My sister has been sick, legit vomiting on account of how stressed she has become.

I talk to my GM again, this time with the proposal of them and us switching for her last week. My GM is as bullhead as I am and literally sat there texting back and forth until the other agreed. He kept coming up with excuses "she's become unreliable" "calls off" "don't want to send you a bad worker-" I tell her that I have to hold my sisters hair back while she pukes out of anxiety. I tell her "imagine your brother coming home everyday vomiting out of stress at a job he hates". My GM is not happy.

We talk cause he is hesitant having me bake at his Cafe "cause he knows I am not the one to mess with, he's afraid cause he knows he's treated her like shit and I won't put up with it" my GM agrees. She has worked that Cafe before and knows how draining and horrible it is. How lazy and u supportive the management is.

She laughing cause he says "he doesn't want you to fuck him over" now. Why would that be the case? If he didn't screw others over he wouldn't project that onto others or expect the same shitty treatment.

I promise to be as professional as I have always been. She knows I am good for it.

Yesterday (saturday) was the first day there. He is literally scrambling to not speak to me. The other manager is asking me about my sister and why she didn't want to be there anymore. Stress from the workload. Everybody knows this. She has been vocal about it and every manager knows that a bake of 2.5k requires two people. Being told her work is crap when she has 1yr of experience and is being compared to veteran bakers of 8+yrs and being lied to about receiving help.

They stutter about not having help themselves. I deadass look at him and let him know that is their failure. You interview people, lie to them about what they will be doing and then in turn treat them like crap when they come in. Nurture and help your employees grow, train them properly, schedule them the hours you promised and be there for them. Both my trainees roughed it out at that store out of loyalty to ME. Because I trained them. How many times did I get calls from them crying because they were stressed?

The manager shook his head and dropped it. Couldn't look me in the eyes. They've fucked up. I managed to get both of them back into my Market and into cafes where they won't be as stressed.

But I get to work. The management ends up scrambling to get me the numbers they need for their catering and add-ons. Once I bake a product I won't go back to re-bake more. The staff that don't know me come over to gossip, how they've tried to help the baker but they don't know what they are doing. If she could just do her job--

I smile, "imagine coming in and having to run the dining area on top of cashiering, oh and there's no help so on top of cashiering you need to run batista and stock, oh and don't forget we need help making sandwiches and salads too."

The woman looks stressed.

"Now after working your ass off you're told what a disappointment you are and you should have done better."

"But I cannot do all of that at once!!!" She stresses.

"But you expect this baby baker to do all of it without help?" I laugh as she stands there flabbergasted and the management team stays quiet. "This store is fucking pathetic, I wouldn't put up with it. MY management team knows how to handle their catering and numbers, not only that they support me and have no problems taking over. If you treat your people good they will return the favor, yes? Fair is fair right?"

She nods and shuts her fucking mouth. Walking away quietly.

One of the boys that already knows me is giggling and I see him, scream his name and we hug. Nobody else speaks to me.

Get my sisters name out your fucking mouth trash.

[a-writers-blurbs]

A bit of a disclaimer ig...

Hi guys,

This is going to be a long post that sounds slightly rant-y & I'm going to apologize in advance for that. I am going to make exactly ONE post (this one) about this topic, and I will not be discussing it further or posting about it again. I will also not be responding to any negative comments but deleting them instead.

These are my personal opinions and [...not *trying* to sound rude, but there's no other way to say it...] a bunch of random people online aren't going to change my opinions.

My husband is an artist. He does canvas painting & draws comic books (think anti-hero dark horse). I paint furniture (kinda mini murals) & make chibi drawings. I've also been writing fanfiction since the late 90s.

That being said, this post is about AI art.

I get the controversy, I do. But I've heard this argument before, when fanfiction became more popularized. The whole "You're just stealing someone else's work & changing it up to call it your own" is (at its core) the same argument against AI. The only difference is that instead of you yourself changing it, you're allowing a machine to do it.

But I digress...

Over the last week, I have received several messages about my use of AI art. First & foremost, my stuff is appropriately tagged as AI.

Second, I don't sell or advertise these pictures in any way. In fact, none of them have been posted anywhere but here (as of 6/1/24).

Third, and probably most important, I DONT MAKE THEM FOR YALL. Fanfiction & fanart are a HOBBY. It is something that I do because I enjoy it and it destresses me. I DO NOT do it, hoping I'll get 1000s of followers, views, likes, etc. Every story I write, I print & bind for my library. I will now be doing the same with my AI pictures.

I have a condition that has a symptom called Maladaptive Daydreaming. Because of this, my head is full of an alarming amount of excruciatingly detailed & unrealistic scenarios and images. (To the point that it affects my everyday life).

I can't necessarily recreate the images in my mind without help & the only way to get rid of the random scenarios is to write them out. So I do write them. And now I use AI to help me get a BASE image. I do still go in myself and edit/redraw parts of each generated image to fit them to the characters I want them to represent. I do thus using digital art.

Granted, there's a whole other group of people that think digital art isn't real art... but that's a discussion for another day. Anyway...

TLDR:

I use AI art & will continue to despite some people's dislike. I will continue to delete any and all comments left publicly that are malicious, rude, or condescending. My stories & are are for me. If others enjoy it, great, that's freaking awesome. If not, there are literally thousands of other fanfic authors you can follow instead of me.

Again, I apologize, I know this sounds rude. But I need to be 100% transparent on this one. I am extremely grateful for every folllower & reader I have. I won't lie & say comments/positive interaction isn't a serotonin boost because it is. Yall also give me more motivation to actually complete a story vs. moving on to the next idea. But I'm not going to change the way I do things to appease someone I don't even know.

This is one of the few things I enjoy doing in my free time & have been doing it for 25 years now, and in the last 5 or so years ALL fandoms have gotten so toxic its hard to enjoy anything anymore. Last time it got like this, I simply stopped posting. I'd rather not do that again, but if people (who aren't even following me) don't leave me alone, I'll probably have to do it again, sadly.

But for now, hopefully this post will give people with different opinions to go ahead and block me from their feed. We're not going to agree so instead of wasting energy arguing, let's keep the peace & agree to stay off if each others feeds.

I won't judge you on your idea that you feel it's your duty to harass people over their choices & you won't judge me for enjoying something. 😉

Thank you for listening. Love yall & and I hope your day is blessed!