#I won't debate about her but personally I like her before she becomes a mother

[astridthevalkyrie]

Tbh my slight with Eloise is mostly that yeah not wanting to get married is understandable and I can see how it’s incredibly boring and isolating being the only one in the ton that feels that way so openly. But I just think that Eloise is privileged because she doesn’t have to get married, but the others livelihood solely depend on getting married. I’m definitely not debating I’m just curious because where I see Eloise hate, it’s mainly pointing out how she makes quips about others who don’t have the ability to voice their distaste for marriage. And also the fact that she wasn’t a great friend in the first place to Penelope, as she could never listen to her for more than 2 seconds. Which is why she never noticed pen was LW in the first place. I hope this doesn’t come off as picking a fight or anything like that haha I just really like these discussions and I’m curious to see your view on that.

hey! this isn't coming off picking a fight at all, thank you for the thoughts!

long analysis about bridgerton and specifically eloise below, please note i have rewatched it recently but i haven't watched it an insane amount of times or anything so if i say something that's not true, kindly let me know.

so i agree with you for the most part. eloise is privileged. she's richer than most and she can afford to become a spinster while everyone else can't. i would like to point out that it's not like she'll live easily and comfortably if she does that. as kate tells her, she won't have a good time. she's going to be outcast. she's going to be looked down on. she's going to risk shaming her younger sisters. she will not be homeless, but she will not be loved. eloise says in season 2 that reading LW is a reminder of how trapped she is, which means she doesn't actually see becoming a spinster a viable option. as far as she's concerned, she's going to get married whether she likes it or not.

in season 1, most of her slights are with daphne, who's in the same family as her, and yes, while being the eldest daughter does come with a hefty burden, daphne is not more or less privileged financially. she wants love and marriage, she's not getting married to survive. both their viewpoints are understandable, i think. eloise finds daphne's pursuits fruitless and daphne is frustrated with eloise for not seeing things from her point of view. the problem i have with that, though, is:

who ever sees things from eloise's point of view? why is she expected to work to understand her older sister when daphne can't do the same for her? daphne has understanding from her mother and every other woman who's out in society. eloise has penelope and that's it. her family snarks at her whenever she voices her opinions. her mother actively tries to change her. eloise thanks daphne for being perfect, eloise concedes in their argument and asks her to name her song, and eloise sits with her on the couch so that daphne doesn't have to sit with berbrooke (or at least tries to before violet makes her go). the only other person besides penelope who's there for eloise is maybe benedict, and he often only talks to her when he's going through something already. when all of society disagrees with you and says you should just shut up and conform, you're not exactly going to be eager to be empathetic and listen.

now, aside from her family and penelope, eloise barely interacts with other people, especially the other debutantes. so while she rants about her viewpoints, she's normally not doing it to working class women or women who will end up on the streets if they don't marry. and when she does rant, yes, there's sometimes rude statements about how other women only care about marriage or feminine things which can come off as patronizing (and she definitely has a superiority complex no doubt), but for the most part, eloise talks about how the system is unfair. she's not wholly disparaging women for wanting to marry to survive, she's disparaging society for having a system that requires them to do so. eloise is also the only character so far who's shown to actively try and learn more about the working class. of course she's not an intersectional feminist yet, she's barely had the resources to become a basic feminist. but she was willing to learn. she wanted to speak to theo more, to read more radical books.

and honestly, for eloise (with my own bias because i know what it feels like to feel like your accomplishments amount to nothing because marriage is somehow more important), i don't think it's just boring or isolating. it genuinely seems to make her panic. it seems like it makes her ill, the thought of conforming. her bit when she tells violet that she's not rebelling for attention, and that she knows she's a disappointment....that poor girl. and like i said, i've had that anxiety. i've had that terrifying moment where i'm like. holy shit. what if i wake up and i've lived half my life and i'm not me because all i am is someone else's. jesus christ that fear can do things to you.

which is what makes her transformation this season so depressing. she's given in. she's playing the part because she's tired of fighting. even though the thought of being submissive and docile and silent and married is still obviously paralyzing for her. and so far i actually don't think it's poor writing, or out of character, but i do think that they might just be toning her down now so that it doesn't seem too ooc when she settles with phillip or someone else. that, i think, will be character assasination. unless she ends up with theo (or penelope or cressida or marina 🙏🏽), her love match with some type of feminist tamer character will be really heartbreaking to watch and i sincerely hope they don't go down that route.

anyway, she's also apparently the only character who's not allowed to have problems because of her privilege. anthony in the beginning of season 2 pissed me off so much. even simon in the first season at times. oh these women can't string together a thought! oh they're so desperate! oh their mamas are so stupid and annoying for *checks notes* wanting them to marry well and live happily! it's so heartless. it's so cruel. mister capital r rake does not care for any of his annoying sister's feminist ramblings, but he himself would like an educated, motherly, soft, clever, beautiful woman. kate absolutely clocked him when she asked how he was sure such a perfect woman would want him. but the fandom doesn't completely pile on anthony for his stupid ass takes. if they get on him for anything, it's for how he handles the sharma sisters (which is completely valid, just not the only dumb shit he's done). but he's sad about his dad dying so it's okay! benedict wants to paint sooooooo bad 🥺 and colin........must discover himself for the third time in a row. these men treat their own problems so seriously and the fandom doesn't give them half the shit for it that eloise gets for talking about a very real problem that terrifies her and affects her life deeply.

i've watched s3 only once, so i don't remember every interaction she has with cressida. but as far as i do remember, she tries to help cressida with debling. she tells her that she can stay away if that's what her father wants. i also don't think she knows that cressida's facing financial abuse, because even cressida doesn't know that until her mom tells her. eloise should probably have a hint that cressida isn't in the mood for making jokes, yeah. she should work on that. i can forgive her because frankly i'm seeing that she's barely interacted with other debutantes before this and is socially awkward. not everyone can forgive her for that, that's cool. i just think fandoms (especially tiktok fandoms, ugh) have this way of seeing a female character, and especially a female character that comes off as feminist or annoying, and will absolutely refuse to understand her at all. think any female character tiktok hates. ginny from ginny and georgia. mary from young sheldon. hell, even marina. these characters are flawed. eloise is flawed. but while other characters can be understood or even excused, being an annoying woman is the absolute worst thing to be. a crime. you deserve no kind of deeper understanding at all.

now, onto her friendship with pen.

i've felt like penelope in so many of my friendships. actually, i don't think i can think of any friendship i've had where i didn't feel like i was playing supporting role to the main character. so i'll absolutely agree, eloise could stand to be a better friend to penelope. she talks over her and ignores her sometimes, she doesn't seem to truly know penelope at all, and she tends to talk about herself far more than she asks about pen.

but i truly, truly don't think any of it is malicious. eloise wants to find LW originally because she wants to get justice for the featheringtons. she embraces pen immediately when she comes crying even though they were in a fight. she compliments pen on being such a good friend twice in season 2. also in season 2, eloise loudly tells cressida she would rather die than join her instead of pen. eloise is not some popular girl who uses pen to make herself look better. eloise thinks the world of her.

and eloise! is! keeping! her! secret! i feel like not enough people are understanding how absolutely insane that is. she's so ridiculously mature about it. she doesn't tell anyone. she endures the fallout of the (false) things penelope wrote about her. penelope writes and attacks el's brother and yet she doesn't say anything. she doesn't even go to her and tell pen to stop writing about her family! she feels bad that she accidentally let slip what colin and pen were doing. she apologizes for it. she feels upset that pen had to write about herself which is far more understanding than most would show in that situation (awww, you "had" to write about yourself in the gossip sheet where you regularly insult other people, woe is you). she stops cressida from bullying pen.

whereas in the very very first episode, lady whistledown's first article talks about how she doesn't like that the bridgertons are named alphabetically. does she help daphne by publishing the stuff about berbrooke? sure, after violet spreads the gossip, but more importantly, after she calls daphne ineligible for marriage which made berbooke her only viable option in the first place before simon stepped in. what has daphne done to her? nothing at all. also, this isn't just printing out gossip that everyone else is saying anyway (which still wouldn't be okay btw). this was penelope making a statement that was LW's personal opinion, which already carried a lot of weight. this was penelope nearly sabotaging daphne's chances of marriage.

and all of this isn't meant to be anti penelope. i understand her and why she does what she does (i do, however, think marina and eloise both clocked her, she is immature and she does write as LW because she's too nervous to be herself and is jilted by society). my overall point is that while eloise thinks the world of penelope, penelope harbors a bitterness towards el and her family. it's not an unnatural bitterness, mind you! you have a friend who goes on and on and doesn't ask you about you and her family is oh so perfect while your family is the laughing stock of the ton and her mother is so loving and your mother is anything but. anyone would be bitter. i think pen loves eloise too. she changes what she writes in LW to please her. she clearly cares that eloise approves of what she writes. she misses her and feels guilty about their fight. but pen isn't honest with eloise. pen isn't trying to discreetly reveal she's LW, or that she has a crush on colin. the only person to know before s3 is marina. eloise isn't a bad friend for not picking up on things that penelope is actively hiding. penelope also lets herself fall into the role of sidekick, she doesn't try to insert herself more into the conversation.

i might be forgetting a scene, but i think pen talks the most during the episode where they run off and lay in the field of flowers together (closet's invisible btw) and eloise listens to her and then says "you don't have to pretend anymore, you like this, pen" with the softest most adoring smile on her face while pen giggles. i promise i'm not trying to write peneloise fanfiction that's just how the scene goes. when penelope truly wants to talk, el does listen.

but that's where i'd give eloise the least grace, because i truly do think she could stand to listen more and listen better and ask about pen from time to time instead of just jumping in to what she wants to talk about. she shouldn't be surprised when pen wants to get married because pen said she did in s1 (my only in canon explanation of that could be that eloise simply thought she was speaking in anger and wasn't serious). i also don't know for sure, but i heard in the books they agreed to be spinsters together. that's not in the show, so it's not canon, but eloise certainly seems to think her and pen are on the same page.

i think there will be a mutual apology. i think that's fine. they both have stuff to apologize for and i won't get into penelope's character right now. if they continue to keep her quiet and docile and she ends up settling for a man who teaches her yadda yadda you can have feminism and love, i'm gonna sink into my chair. eloise bridgerton you deserve better 2k24.

[pink-yuri]

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Gemini - Oneshot - Two twins love eachother (From 'Double Your Pleasure - A Twin Yuri Anthology) Goodbye, My Rose Garden - Completed / 17 Chapters - My personal favourite A period romance where a Japanese woman moves to England in search of an author, instead meets a (suicidal) noble woman Gun Gale Online - Completed / 27 Chapters - SpinOff of Sword Art Online but not featuring the main cast. The protagonist is a tall girl who wants to be small and cutesy (achieved via the game) & she yuri-ly befriends a girl in the game GUNBURED x SISTERS - Completed / 20 Chapters - A nun is tasked with hunting vampires, but decides to take one in as a pet Gushing Over Magical Girls - Ongoing / 50+ Chapters - A fan of magical girls is tricked into becoming a villain who fights against them, she gets a little overenthusiastic about the role

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I Married My Best Friend To Shut My Parents Up Completed / 4 Chapters - Pressured to find a man by her parents, a woman decides to marry her lesbian best friend to shut them up I See You Aizawa-San! - Ongoing / 10+ Chapters - Protagonist can see the ghost of a dead idol classmate, yuri elements are minor IMO I Suspect My Childhood Friend Is A Lesbian - Completed / 2 Chapters - Protagonist has a touchy-feely friend who she assumes is gay & hitting on her I'm in Love with the Villainess - Ongoing / 40+ Chapters (Anime / 12 Episodes) - A girl transmigrates into her favourite otome game, as the title suggests she is in love with the villainess I'm Not Cut Out To Be A Princess, So I'll Elope With The Villainess - Oneshot - Two women run away from their 'roles' to be together Inugami and Nekoyama - Ongoing / 70+ Chapters - Slice of Life about a dog girl who likes cats & a cat girl who likes dogs (& the 3rd wheel friend) Ipheion - OneShot - The protagonist is drafting a love letter, and her friend recruits her crush to help refine it

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Let Me Kidnap The Male Lead - Ongoing / 20+ Chapters - (Predominantly M/F) The protagonist kidnaps handsome men in the hopes of finding the male lead of the novel she's in. She catches the interest of the male lead, the female lead, and the (male) villain Liar Satsuki Can See Death - Completed / 83 Chapters - Not romance focussed, protagonist can see corpses 24 hours before the person dies, she amasses a small harem group of girls who believe/help her prevent deaths, actual yuri elements are honestly minimal Love Live Comic Anthology - µ's Sweet Memories - Completed / 10 Chapters - Disconnected oneshots about µ's Love Live! Sunshine!! - Ongoing / 15+ Chapters | (Anime - Completed / 26 Episodes + 1 Movie) - 9 girls join together to form an idol group, slice of life, yuri content is non-canon/implied Love/Death - Completed / 8 Chapters - 2 severely yandere girls are in love with eachother Loved By Twins - Oneshot - Two twins love one girl (From 'Double Your Pleasure - A Twin Yuri Anthology)

Madoka Magica - Anime / 12 Episodes - Not romance focussed, dark magical girl anime, while yuri elements are present it could be explained away as gal pals Mage and Demon Queen - Completed / 185 Chapters - The protagonist is a mage but instead of wanting to defeat the demon queen, she fell in love with her, the demon queen is a mildly violent tsundere (mild in that she won't do anything the mage won't recover from) The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady - Ongoing / 40+ Chapters - The protagonist is a princess who takes in the prince's discarded fiancee as a research assistant for her interest in magic Miss Savage Fang - Completed / 26 Chapters - A mercenary is reincarnated as the princess who brought the country to ruin, she has a gay thing going with the woman who killed (mercenary) her Mix and Melt Into One - Oneshot - Two twins love eachother and they both love/hate one non-related girl (From 'Double Your Pleasure - A Twin Yuri Anthology) My Friend's Abnormally Cute Sister - Ongoing / 10+ Chapters - The protagonist has a crush on her friend's little sister, however the sister is bit of a yandere who loves her own big sister (and hated the protagonist for being close to her)

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Promiscuous Relationship of the President and Vice President, The - Completed / 3 Chapters - 2 girls have a 'pure friendship', one asks the other out & it rapidly turns less 'pure'

Reemployment Life With an Unsociable Untalkative Magician - Ongoing / 20+ Chapters - HETEROSEXUAL - A true yuri fan sees yuri where none is intended - A woman works for a recluse male magician, they fall in love Revolutionary Girl Utena - Anime / 39 Episodes (There's a manga but all I know of that is they made Juri heterosexual) - The protagonist inadvertently engages in a duel with the prize being an engagement to another woman (it is SO much more than that but.. spoilers) Roll Over and Die - Ongoing / 20+ Chapters - The protagonist is cast aside by her adventuring team, at rock bottom she meets a girl she wants to protect & figures out how to be OP, has horror elements RWBY - Completed / 15 Chapters - Adaptation/Expansion upon the original RWBY cartoon - 4 girls are put together as a team to learn to fight the Grimm (disposable enemies) RWBY Official Manga Anthology - Ongoing / 80+ Chapters - Accompaniment to the series RWBY, disconnected one shots, only really worth reading if you're somewhat familiar with RWBY

Sailor Moon (Original Series) - Completed / 46 Episodes - The protagonist becomes a magical girl, there are yuri adjecent scenes, however the canon sailor moon lesbian couple don't make an appearance in this run Scarlet - Ongoing / 6+ Chapters - Werewolf & a vampire(?) do Ye Olde drug busts, fairly overtly horny Shitto na Watashi to Shikku na Aitsu - OneShot - An immortal girl confesses to a girl who then asks to stab her, she's a little out of her depth when the immortal agrees readily then doesn't die Soul Eater NOT! - Completed / 31 - A spinoff of Soul Eater, the protagonist can turn into a weapon but finds herself in a love triangle as she cant decide which girl she wants to wield her Stardust Telepath - Ongoing / 40+ Chapters - The protagonist doesn't fit in on Earth so she wants to build a rocket to meet aliens, coincidentally an alien (girl) lands on Earth with amnesia. The alien can use telepathy when their foreheads are touching. Story of the Demon Lord Who Wants to Yuri-Marry the Hero - Preview / 1 Chapter - The hero wants to defeat the demon lord, the demon lord wants to marry the hero Sukeban & Tenkousei - Ongoing / 8+ Chapters - The protagonist asks a delinquent girl to say cutesy words because she finds it cute/amusing

That Girl Is Too Much - Completed / 7 Chapters - A popular girl is annoyed that an equally popular tomboy isn't giving her attention. Aforementioned tomboy is head over heels for her

When Arika Went Missing - Ongoing / 15+ Chapters - An idol goes missing under mysterious circumstances, her childhood friend decides investigate, yuri content is non-canon/implied

You Are My Angela - Completed / 3 Chapters - A young woman finds a human-looking angel & takes her home, though she's afraid the angel will leave her without warning You, As You Are - Oneshot - Butch protagonist meets an abused woman and they fall in love Yuri Espoir - Ongoing / 15+ Chapters - A girl is to be in an arranged marriage. Saddened that she's never been in a relationship with another girl, she decides to write yuri about strangers with a 'friend' Yuri Terrorism - Oneshot - The protagonists infiltrate their enemy by ways of yuri

Fan Doujins

Can We Hold Hands - Ai Miyashita x Rina Tennoji Honest Feelings - Setsuna Yuki x Kasumi Nakasu Kasumin’s Treat - Shizuku Osaka x Kasumi Nakasu Niji-chan Manga and Drawing Matome - Ai Miyashita x Setsuna Yuki SetsuKasu Pocky Game - Setsuna Yuki x Kasumi Nakasu Shiritori - Ai Miyashita x Rina Tennoji Valentine’s and Kasumi - Yuu Takasaki x Kasumi Nakasu

[aphverse-confessions]

Yes, Zane is a bad person who is responsible for his own atrocities, this is not up for debate.

However, around season two or so, Zane is suddenly the sole reason anything bad ever happens in O'khasis. Regardless of time period or logic or evidence of involvement, everything is pinned on Zane.

Zane Ro'meave who has effectively been dead for fifteen years.

Zane is responsible for the war with Tu'la because Janus decided to terrorize the countryside during Zane's absence. It's implied that Janus was doing this of their own free will and not on orders, and its highly likely Zane didn't even know about it considering he was inanother dimension, but Janus is one of the subordinates who actually likes Zane so it's like Zane was doing it personally.

Zane is responsible for the O'khasis invasion because the Tu'la king wanted Zane's relic notes for his own use and Ivy sold them out. Which is like arresting the victim of a home invasion for having personal possessions that could attract robbers.

Somehow, Garte's actions as lord and generally shitty dude behavior are because??? Even though we previously established that Garte lost his humanity due to an illness at a time where Zane was still young enough to be groomed into the position of Garte's favorite pawn??? Sure, the grown man in the most powerful position in the region is the victim in this scenario.

If you think I'm exaggerating here is a transcript from a scene in ep 43 where Aph's eavesdropping on a group of locals discussing the situation with the Ro'Meaves after all of the sons died (for context Garte was in charge of O'khasis in s1):

OldGeezer: Hm, your son reminds me of Garte's oldest boy.

Father: Yeah, well, I take that as a compliment. I remember the Lord's son well.

OldGeezer: Such a shame... Lord Garte has been more secluded since before he lost his sons...

Father: Have they been pronounced dead? It's been more than fifteen years.

OldGeezer: The one with the brown hakr was pronounced dead long before the other two vanished.

Father: ...I don't feel as bad for Lord Garte as I fee for Lady Zianna... she was a wonderful mother to her sons..

Old Geezer: Agreed. Even the adopted one. she deserved a better man than Garte became.

Father: How's m'lady doing? Has anyone heard from her?

OldGeezer: She's silent... she rarely leaves her chambers. Understandably, since Garte is continuing his march on the region soon...

Father: ...I never liked the image O'khasis gave off to others. Why can't we advocate for peace?

OldGeezer: The world is changing. Lord Garte is not. O'khasis used to have great power over others.

Father: ...I don't want my son growing up in a place where we can not progress because of our Lord's selfish choices.

OldGeezer: ...y'know if you leave O'khasis for another village, you won't find a place that's safe from O'khasis itself.

Father: That's why I haven't left sooner.

Aph: Wow... I would think after 15 years at this place... after 15 years of having Zane gone this place might've become something else but I guess who... if Lord Garte is in charge now. That's Garroth's father.

On one hand, it does make sense why Aph would assume everything is somehow connected to Zane, since that's basically what happened in season one. It is in character for her to be negatively biased towards Zane, who she knows, as opposed to Janus/Tu'la/Garte, who she's never met before.

But Aph's objectively wrong takes are treated as fact by both the narrative and characters who personally knew both Zane and Garte, including the rest of the Ro'Meaves. And not in an examination of the Ro'Meave family's toxic dynamics way its exclusively to uncritically villianize Zane.

Like, bro has already cursed a baby you don't have to retroactively make him this evil from birth demon who's mere existance ruins the lives of everyone he comes in contact with. It's bad writing and it cheapens the Ro'Meave family storyline.

.

[spectrumed]

23. Daddy Dead

It has been a while... Not that I regret this blog, I am genuinely proud of most of my previous writing, though, if I were to compile it all into some book I'd probably spend days, weeks, if not months, rephrasing sentence after sentence. I am, after all, an anxious fuck. Whenever I publish some piece of content for the world to consume I immediately start thinking of all the ways I could have done it better. Do it better, do it better, do it better. Perfectionism is a human flaw, and despite my autism telling me that I am entitled to identify as something of an alien, or an android, I am still very much human.

But, hey, here's the news. My father died earlier this year. Y'know that line by Camus? Obviously, you've all read The Stranger, so you are aware of how that novella starts. "Aujourd'hui, Maman est morte." And of course, as all of life is a long debate, the best translation is disagreed upon. But I like to keep it simple and straightforward. Mother died today. What's important is that the story's main character doesn't want to dwell on the past, he doesn't like to get all emotional. No melodrama needed or appreciated. To him, it's just the naked reality that he's found himself in. Maman is no more. A simple and true statement. He is a son whose maternal parentage is now relegated to the world that was, the past. She is deceased. Mommy has kicked the bucket. Really, no matter how we express ourselves, we belong to the present here and now, and words can only describe our reality, they cannot alter it. Why waste time with more flowery speech? She's dead. That's that.

In January, my father died. I could say that my father has gone off waltzing to the other side, or that he's with St. Peter now, but I prefer to say that he's just dead. What's important is that the individual who is half-responsible for my genetic heritage is gone. I will never once again get the chance to speak to him, I will never once again get to hear his voice, I will never once again get to think of him in the present tense. He is simply gone. He is, quoth the raven, "nevermore."

Am I sad? Of course I am. Tom was my dad. I am named after him. I am Fredrik Erik Tom. And Erik was the name of my maternal grandfather. I am straddled with two middle-names that will now forever remind me of two father figures that I have lost. Not that I really feel much animosity over that, after all, isn't that the purpose of middle-names? To remind you of some person you were named after, when they were an adult and you were just a newborn? If you end up dying before the person you were named after, well, I'd consider that to be a tragedy. I guess I have to view it as my purpose, now, to carry on the memory of these two men. And one day, I'll have children of my own, and I'll name them Erik and Tom. Though, it's gonna get awkward if I only end up only with daughters...

But this hypothetical child of mine, this daughter named Hecate Erika Tom, she won't have the same impression of these names as I do. To her, the names would lack substance, the real icky stuff that life is made from. These deceased men are kin of hers, and she might enjoy being told about them, but they are family members that died long before she entered this world. To me, they played an instrumental part in my viscous adolesence and, at least one of them, stuck around for long enough to watch me solidify into an adult. My grandfather died when I was fairly young, and it took me some time to become aware of just how much of my artistic sensibility I owe to him. Yes, I can appreciate him, and my likeness to him, even after he's gone, but my mental picture of him is still influenced by having once known him as a living and breathing organism.

I wonder if my child could ever know their grandfather Tom as anything more than just this theorical ghost of history...

I mourn. Of course I do. It is hard to know just how you're supposed to lament the passing of those you've lost. Are you supposed to be strong, stoic, and protestant about it? Or are you supposed to wear all black, weep openly, and convert to Catholicism? My world hasn't changed much since my father died, in fact, what has occurred is likely to be thought of as being for the better. My father left behind a dear inheritance. My sister will be able to take over his winsome house, and I will be able to take over her comfy apartment. From the perspective of living-standards, we both seem to be benefitting from our father's death. And he had a life-insurance! I thought only murder victims killed by their spouses had those.

And I know my father wanted us to inherit something big from him. In his final years he'd every so often talk about the things he were looking to leave behind to the next generation. He was very happy when he finally paid of his mortgage, seemingly just because he was now able to continue saving up more money. He never spent any money, it was blatantly obvious that he never intended to spend it on anything special. Yes, once he talked about maybe going on a long cruise somewhere, but that never happened. He intended for the money to go to us. He was never an expressive person, but I know that this was one way he could show me and my sister that he cared for us. And that is admirable, I suppose. But he was a cold and unemotional dad. Money doesn't really change that.

Yeah, my daddy was a difficult man. I never disliked him, but I often felt sorry that I didn’t have more of a connection with him. And, as his son, I was often thought to have the closest relationship with him. At times it made me feel so uncomfortable hearing others talk about my father with animosity, knowing that I was the one who spent the most time with him. Though, I can't blame anyone for struggling to cope with him. I struggled, too. But even just sitting together in resolute silence, like two proper muted norsemen, I think I got to know the sort of person that he was.

He wasn't a mean-spirited man, but he wasn't a considerate man. I think he could have done so much more to make others feel better, to make them feel more content and more happy, but I don’t think he ever meant any harm to anybody else. In many ways, I think he wasn’t equipped well-enough to deal with life. Mentally or emotionally. My father lacked that special “something” needed to make it easier to create deeper bonds with others. Possibly not aided by the fact that he had such an icy relationship with his mother, who once openly told him she never really wanted him, at all.

Was my father autistic? I don’t know. I want to say no. Because if my father was autistic, then the form of autism he had, it led to nothing good. I am autistic, and I like to think of myself as receiving just as many positive traits from my peculiar neurology as negative once. I think of autism as complex, and frankly wonderful, in its own way. It’s a smashing rainbow of diversity, with so many ways it can manifest itself, for better or for worse. My father just seemed so, monotonous. Especially late in life, when all he did was wake up and watch sports, then go to bed, rarely eating anything more than some bland porridge and a carrot. But I guess that sticking to one's routines is considered a hallmark of autism.

I don’t want that existence to be the one I have to look forward to. My father never really seemed to express any real enthusiasm for life in the end. I’ve heard that the seventies is when people are supposed to be at their happiest, but my dad died at the age of seventy-seven, and he seemed more depressed than ever. It's sad to think that your close family member died dissatisfied with life. A lot of it had to do with his busted knee. He could not walk, the way he used to. He used to go on these long walks, and he used to have friendly, if mostly shallow conversations with a wide range of people. Again, my father struggled with forming profound bonds with other people, but he wasn't a surly or misanthropic individual. He seem to have been positively well-liked by most of the people who casually knew him.

I grew up in one of those places that’s something of a bland mix between a suburb and a small town. It's the best of two worlds, and the worst of two worlds. I can't say I love the place I grew up, but I also can't say that I hate the place I grew up. Some of the folks that my father ended up casually connecting with were people that he had been roughly familiar with for a long time. They shared the same stomping grounds, they walked the same earth, they drank the same water. We’re never going to feel as interconnected as we once upon a time felt when our little village was all that we truly knew of the world. But, there is something to be said about being able to pass by some house you haven’t seen in a while and knowing who exactly lives there and how you are, even in the most esoteric and faint way, known to them.

“Oh, don’t you know that kid you once went to school with, that you once played football with for a summer back in the nineties? Well, it turns out I had a really good chat with that person’s grandparents.”

Yeah, dad, I am vaguely familiar with that kid, sure. He had really blond, almost white hair, and it was very curly. I remember playing football with him, though, I never liked him and I certainly never liked playing football. It is easy to regard your surroundings growing up as something of a prison, or the trial process you're over-eager to get done with. Most of the kids I remember growing up alongside I would never as an adult choose to spend any time with. They were dreadfully dull people. I am not sure any of them would appreciate me starting this blog post by referencing Camus.

My parents decided to move here. I did not make the decision to be born here. Now, I am not all that struck by wanderlust. I wish not to move to some other country or some other region far away from home. I'd be quite content one day owning a quaint little house, with a sizeable area for me to convert into an artistic workshop, somewhere north of Stockholm, in Roslagen, the part of the country that I am from. But ideally, it shouldn't be exactly where I am from. If I could move some slight difference away, say some neighbouring municipality, then I'd be most pleased. Like I think most people, I want more of the same, just also vaguely not quite the same.

It always felt like my father was fixed in place. Permanent. Actually, it felt as if my father was some damn heavy rock, some soul that would always stay where he was, in just that position, forever and forever. Stubborn. Inflexible. Unyielding. Like those glacial erratics, big giant boulders found around the northern hemisphere. Part of me is as shocked by the disappearance of my father as I would be if some ancient mountain where to simply vanish. Tom? Dead? How did the gods allow that to happen? Fathers can die, just like that?

But in his youth, he wasn't so sedentary. My father used to entertain us with stories about his wayfaring youth. His adventures in France. The joys he felt going skiing. All the wine and cognac he drank. That time he got accidentally engaged with some farmer’s daughter. In all his tales, he seemed like such a different person, an individual so lush with life and with enthusiasm. I was enraptured hearing these tales from my dad, a person superficially so passionless. But it also hurt. To learn that a person so close to you used to have a daring and exciting life, then things changed just as you came into the picture.

I guess that this post is coming too late. I could have written this when he was still alive, I could have done something to express these thoughts to him when he was still capable of responding to my woes. But, at the same time, I don’t think I’d have the same perspective. The memories I have of my father are conflicted. Confusing, actually. But only now am I beginning to see some greater narrative emerging. We all need that. Some story to tell ourselves. It is important not to fall into the predictable traps, not to make reality seem more black and white than it really is, but... Just knowing where we belong, in the great chain that is our lineage, is instrumental to finding peace in grief.

And, even if he was still with us, I never would have learned if he too had autism. That man would ever have subjected himself to the kind of neuropsychiatric evaluation that I went through. It is really a pointless question to ask. The state of my father’s neurology was something that I was never going to learn about, and I am peace with that. Some people are more susceptible to these discussions than others. I am happy to occasionally hint to my mother that she may be “somewhere on the spectrum,” but I would never have felt at ease telling my dad he might have some significant neurological condition.

He could have been autistic, he could not have been autistic, I might as well pick up a flower and begin to pluck out the petals, that might just be the most reliable way for me to find out. He wasn't the sort of person inclined towards deep self-reflection. And it is true that my mother's family also exhibits traits of autism spectrum disorder. Especially my grandfather Erik, the other daddy I was named after.

I’ve written all of this late at night, after I've had some wine and some vodka. In so many ways, I am a chaotic person. I’ve always struggled to get to bed early, I’m always at my most productive those hours of the day I am supposed to be doing something else. I’ve always related to odd and weird people, those who seem to view the world from an outsider’s perspective. I am not good at behaving “normal.” One thing I could never comprehend was my father’s capacity to go to bed, every night, at a reasonable hour, and to awake early and before noon. I longed to see some dysfunction in my father, to see some evidence that I was truly his son, but all that he hid behind several walls of emotional sterility.

My father had a secular burial. It was quite a lovely little ceremony. We had a woman doing live performances of some of my father’s favourite bluesy songs from the 1970's. His family was there, some of his neighbours, also me and my sister, our mother and her sister (our aunt.) And I cried. A lot. My father’s older younger brother also cried a lot. He looked real tormented, actually. I felt acutely sorry for him. I have two uncles on my father's side, but one uncle is much younger than the other. My father and his brother closest in age grew up almost being twins, only one year separating them, they were really close. I have an older sister, no brother, so I can only imagine what it is like to have a fraternal relationship like that. I had my father for thirty-two years, he had him for seventy-six.

I am going to art school now. I am hoping that I will be able to keep going down this track, making "fine art," perhaps one day even receiving some recognition for my work. Working with these things physical, sculpting and painting, it gratifies me more than manipulating anything digital. No, I am not bitter. I am happy with where I am. But I am also paying for my current education with funds my father provided me with. Actually, the last conversation I had with him I called him to remind him to please send me some money so that I could pay the invoice I had just received. I could have regrets about that, wishing that our talk had been about something more profound and less tawdry, but I don't have any regrets. That's just life. And money is an integral part of it.

I am filled with heartache, and I am filled with confusion. I am not feeling the summertime bliss this year. It’s been months, yes, but grief is four-dimensional. Grief doesn't care about linear time, it comes and goes seemingly at random. At some times you may feel at peace, then suddenly, you remember that your dad is gone and a profound sadness overtakes you. The complexity of your relationship with him doesn’t really matter when you’re at that point just repeating in your head “my daddy is dead, my daddy is dead, my daddy is dead.”

Grief is primal, and sorrow is animal. It’d be much easier to deal with it all if we were just a bunch of logical aliens, some cold androids, but we’re messy human beings, no matter our diagnoses. It really doesn’t matter, in the end, if my father was autistic or not, all that matters is that he’s now no longer with us, so all we’ve got left is our memories of him. And one day I will figure out exactly what kind of narrative I wish to tell about his life, just how I wish to capture all the confusion I feel when I think about him. Maybe it wouldn't be all wrong if I chose to focus on the good things.

Rest in peace, Tom, my dad, and I hope that you may have thought of me, or my sister, the very last time you closed your eyes.

[autisticcassandracain]

Batkids ranked from best to worst candidate to take over the Batman mantle according to my very objective (/sarcasm) opinions:

Cass: Cass is loyal to the bat symbol before all else; the bat pulled her out of an aimless, guilt-ridden existance and gave her purpose, a chance to help others, and she takes this very very seriously. She's canonically the most similar to Bruce out of everyone, and values the no killing rule more than him. She wants the job so bad, because to her, Batman is everything she could ever hope to be. Continuing the bat symbol into a new generation, to help and inspire others like her, would be the greatest honor for her. Becoming Batman would be the natural conclusion of her arc.

Dick: Has canonically been Batman and did very well at it, better even than Bruce, canonically. But Nightwing fits him better. He adapted to the Batman mantle, and eventually stopped being miserable in it, but it was a choice made out of necessity, not personal drive. Nightwing was his own creation and fits him like a second skin. He can do Batman, he can do it well, but it won't be natural for him like it would be for Cass.

Steph: There's a fucking curveball for you. Honestly Steph is here bc other than Cass and Dick I don't think there's a good choice for Batman, if Bruce kicks it and neither of them are around I think Batman should just die, but for the sake of this list we will look at how much I'd enjoy seeing the other kids take up the mantle in canon. Steph becoming Batman would be so funny. It'd be a great storytelling opportunity because there's no way she should even be in line so what happened? How does she deal with it? But most importantly, once again, it'd be SO FUNNY if Steph got the mantle of Batman after Bruce treated her as shittily as he did. That's what you get old man.

Tim: idk he'd handle the job badly and would be miserable but this is my list and I don't really care about him so he's here as a placeholder. If Tim became Batman I'd be annoyed but not enraged. So there.

Duke: Perhaps an unpopular opinion among Duke fans but I fucking hate the idea of Batman!Duke. It can work in very specific Elseworld circumstances like Dark Knights Metal but in the mainline continuity? Absolutely tf not. Duke's whole Thing is a radical departure from the batfam's status quo. He's thematically and literally attached to daylight, he has superpowers. Both of those are already wildly antithetical to Batman. In addition: his current hero identity is an homage to his mother. Why would he throw that away? Batman!Duke could be interesting for an arc or two, because all this WOULD make for interesting narrative conflict, but permanently? It'd be a wild misuse of Duke's character to take a character designed to defy the status quo and stick him in a mantle that exists to uphold it. If Bruce dies and Duke's the only one that could take over, Batman should die and Signal should take his place.

Damian: FUCK Batman!Damian all my homies HATE Batman!Damian. All those arcs and character development about how blood doesn't define him only for him to let blood define him, just on the other side of his family? You're all so fucking boring and you should feel bad. And while we're here, no he shouldn't be Nightwing either, that's only slightly less bad, why would stepping from one Dick Grayson legacy mantle to another denote character growth? I have OPINIONS on this. Damian should create his own identity to show that he's grown into his own and found his own path outside of his families. Also 90% of the arguments for Batman!Damian hinge on blood relations which is weird and creepy and also very very very boring.

Jason: I don't think I need to explain this.

Any variant of sharing the mantle: Every time the 'who should be the next batman' debate comes up there's always SOME motherfucker insisting that x and y can just share and two things to that: 1) coward, are you gonna hand out participation trophies next? 2) Batman should not be a status symbol. The batfam should not be a hierarchy with Batman at the top. That's the most boring way possible to approach the Batman mantle. I get that's what DC does in canon, but in canon, they won't ever let Bruce die permanently anyway, so what canon does is kinda a moot point. And frankly? Pretty much all 'x and y should share' arguments seem to be based in the idea that Batman is automatically a better, more prestigious mantle than all others, and that being deprived of it means you're worse than whoever took it. They want everyone to hold the mantle simulaneously because they don't want their fave(s) to 'lose'. It's not a competition of skill, it's a matter of narrative satisfaction. And the only character whose arc would be actively strengthened by becoming Batman is Cass. She shouldn't get it because she's the best fighter, or lose/share it because she's not the best detective; she should get it because it would be a perfect bookend to her arc of self hatred and self determination via the bat. Everyone else is better off with a solo identity or a different legacy mantle. So no, sharing is not a magic solution; it's a cop out.

[cornus27florida]

Gwen's Dreamscape Analysis

A webtoon comment make a weird theory that Humpty Dumpty = little prince = the tiniest prince = Frederick because color motif is 'green' and 'golden' - but rereading make me sure it's the (abhorrent, sorry I know Gwen's dress beautiful but I like to make 'dark joke' based on canon) dress that Gwen wears at the very first meeting with the Plaid Princes. So a theory is debunked, but make me theorizing about entire things related to Gwen's dreamscape so far

That theory is, related to Humpty Dumpty~

And the recent episode gives more material to analyze over - WHY Gwen dreamscape there?

I never expected Rose Hall to appear in the dream, I predict the crystal room long ago from cpc webtoon banner. Rereading also make me believe that locatiins in her dream related to her shattered feelings...

But the 2 locations, both gwenderick/freddolyn moment and I find it's important to mention. These locations if linked with Frederick in nutshell about him questioning Gwen's (in term of romantic) as following :

Crystal room: Frederick wondering about the truth to Gwen about his conscience that something amiss in their relationship with;

"did I do something that hurt you when we first met? "

I've wrote my interpretation in previous post, in nutshell Frederick wondering what's wrong

Rose hall: aside from the whole broken proposals fiasco, I like to pointing out Frederick's quote right before the waffle note comes falling down

"T-this is all happening so fast… "

My interpretation is that Frederick feeling something amiss, something is skipped over - and we as the reader know what is it…

Gwen hiding the truth that she overhears about Frederick called her very ugly in their first meeting day, she keep hides it desperately (similar with how her own mother hides the truth that she's not feeling herself to be beautiful, to Jack - her romantical love interest) - even when Frederick nudges her to tell the truth at the gala right after his bullies got dealt, or Prez warns her that hiding truths isn't a good relationship foundation (even if pres is aroace that not really understand romance, that's warning is correct)

I have personal intake about : "something missing" that Gwen wonders in her dreamscape

Is related to the need for Gwen to processs everything, mainly for her believing that Frederick's apology is true - what he said recently is true, as he's changing opinion about her… That he believes that Gwen is beautiful.

If you love someone genuinely (if I could dare to say, the true love) , your love interest becomes very beautiful in your eyes (like comically the animated shoujo filter for example). This make me believe that Frederick is PART of the solution for Gwen's self love and it's healthy one once Gwen sees Frederick with honesty. Remember my previous analysis over Frederick's outfit that ended with urging Gwen to see Fred as a true him - because (romantic) relationship is supposed to be a joint effort, Frederick doing his best in waking reality to be the true him and Gwen needs to do her part too by believing him.

So if Frederick love is likely true love, will his kiss breaks the spell and awakes Gwen? It could be, but I didn't want to take debate about what's actually the true love and what's self-love supposed to be (I have enough of people that still despising Frederick, like believing that she should woken up by other way as gwenderick is "toxic"). Because? I didn't know as I am happily single, I won't presume to know what's love is especially theorizing which exactly the true love for Gwen - but I take the witch saying that true love doesn't necessarily to be singular, you could have multiple true love at once and even to non-human like Jamie loves waffle. This means the multiple true love that Gwen has could be directed to multiple options at once.

Also remember, despite so many people loves Gwen - what matters to breaks the spell is if Gwen loves them back or not. And that's the problem because with the way poisoned apple scene depicted very closely to attempting suicide - Gwen in dreamscape truly believes that no one loves her. Look at panel right before she eats the apple. Someone that feeling in pit of despair feels like they're deep at the dark tunnel without any light (as believes no one will care or love them) when in reality is not true, there's always light at the end of tunnel. BUT people in despair got numbed in their sense, which could leads them not realizing the reality OR believes (have delusions) in things that actually not real (having hallucinations). Thanksfully the dream spell that the witch made make noises (sound) and smell could still seep in the dream - and we have dubious witch way that related to portrait BUT this leads to the another theory subplot that I feel won't explain right now espc because we're lacking canon content to speculate about it

I like to move on to another step of my theory about gwenderick/freddolyn. Frederick could escape from the prison because he got delusions (that mixed with realities sense in the way of his mother and Jamie talking to her through the thick) that despite everything, Gwen needs him and he should get out from the prison to can see Gwen again. There's mysterious scene where the gala portrait got lifted up to the top so laverne can see it and lifting Frederick up, and with the witch say the soul that trapped in the 'magical' portrait (that Leland stole, thus make Plaid palace haunted for years) could travels to any portrait in the house they reside in. So I predict the reason it could go up because Lilyth's soul posses the portrait at the moment. Means Lilyth helps Frederick (future son-in-law) indirectly

^ that link is to my theory about Fred's outfit, might be too irrelevant but what I like to highlight is "once Fred be the true him, without trying to be Plaid prince, is the start of him could reach Gwen". And I have theory (more like hope) that Frederick could somehow reach Gwen too that helps Gwen to be awake from the spell. Maybe by assuring Gwen that he truly loves her (sound?). Maybe his mere presence (like his smell, but unsure if Gwen could recognizing Fred's smell or his smell recognizable - it's kinda rude notion as compares her akin to dogs) make Gwen realizes that Frederick is here, debunking her worry that Fred didn't want to be 'here'?

Whatever the actual situation, what's actually the true love, how exactly to breaks the spell...I feel Frederick should in the part of variable, in similar way of Gwen is the reason he escapes the prison. So I believe that Frederick will help Gwen to awakes, be it directly or indirectly - and Lilyth will help as part of variable to help Gwen. Make the 3 variables (Lilyth, Gwen, Frederick) be part of "breaking the spell" - which the first as spell of imprisonment already broken, now slumber spell

END: Let's see various screenshoots about self-love! It could be hints to predict the future!!!

I think the club ideas of self-love is giving hints:

@ Lean to (us) that loves you - at the season 4 Gwen changes her notion of love (from at the start shattered to couldn't self-love, to her sisters [the one that works but mere moment] and her friends at the CPC [there's still cracks but small) that to Frederick, romantic love interest, completely. Prez alrdy warns about this, twice but Gwen didn't heed the warning

@ believe (us) when we tell that you're beautiful. For now Gwen didn't believe at all that she's beautiful, espc because her reflection becomes so creepy it totally not showing her entire face. I feel during the gala as now Gwen anchors herself totally to Frederick's love, the previous love source from her siblings along with the CPC can't work. This make Gwen should believe in one, or multiple sources at once: believing that she truly beautiful herself (Leopold hints by apple pie and autumn example, will you hate them if others said they hate those two? No), believing what Frederick tell to him as a truth without forcing notion (it could be happen with Frederick assuring Gwen again that she's beautiful, her dreamscape could hear sounds from outside world - but Fred not yet near Gwen) or the motherly love as Lilyth enters her dream (one of biggest problem for this, is that Gwen could be SUS over Lilyth as she never know her before, and the witch say that the soul can't communicate or touch with anyone)

@ remember that you never alone : I won't tell much because i know there's nice theory about in by someone in cpc blr but I forgot exactly, but dream! Gwen wears her mother's robe - so it's the hint that Lilyth is the key for Gwen's self love

The self-love that being rushed over as shown in the panel of episode 146, it's indeed not right solution to skip forward (to happy ending)

Let's back to the BBW - big bad wolf (real last!)

BBW basically chasing and breaking havoc in Gwen's dreamscape, like urging her to awake from the slumber spell but in violent way and I am afraid if that could harms Gwen somehow. I feel it's identity being so important as the key for gwen breaks the slumber spell thou. And idk if it's just me bit the very last place that Gwen in, is similar with prison cell Fred trapped? Coincidence?? Am I overanalyzing? Well~

[alj4890]

In Times of Comfort

(Thomas Hunt x OC) in a Choices Red Carpet Diaries/The Royal Romance Crossover drabble.

Thirty Kisses in Thirty Days Challenge with the prompt: a kiss to the forehead, meant to soothe.

A/N Thomas Hunt x Amanda after Maxwell's death in *While We're Young AU*) as requested by @twinkleallnight This is shortly after Amanda and her daughters move to California in an attempt to get away from reminders of Maxwell and his death.

Rating G for angsty fluff

Trigger Warnings: mentions of character death and grieving

@hopelessromantic1352 @trappedinfanfiction ​​@flyawayboo ​​ ​​  @sophxwithers @twinkleallnight @tessa-liam @choicesficwriterscreations

Masterlist

"I don't know." Emily Beaumont mumbled. "It doesn't feel right to go to a party."

Amanda sat quietly as her daughters debated on whether or not to go out for the evening.

Her older daughter, Nicky, had become Addison Sinclaire's assistant. Working with the famed costume designer allowed her to meet and mingle with many of the actors who graced the theater screens.

Since Hollywood was a town where one needed to be seen, there were numerous parties nearly every night. It made sense that the invitations were beginning to roll in for Cordonia's beloved Beaumont sisters. They were young, beautiful, fun, and incredibly sweet.

Their party loving nature came from their late father. Amanda knew how much fun they used to have in going out before his death. She hated that they felt like they had to remain away from everyone and grieve. She knew Maxwell wouldn't have wanted that for them.

"I think you should go." Amanda told them, picking at the food on her plate.

"But--" Emily was about to argue.

"We've been here for two months." Her mother pointed out. "We finally finished unpacking and I think you girls should celebrate that accomplishment."

Nicky reached over and placed her hand on hers.

"What about you, Mom? Would you like to come with us?"

Amanda shook her head, keeping her eyes lowered. "No, I think I'll stay in."

The girls shared a glance.

That's all their mother did. She rarely left the home they'd settled in. She refused invitations to meet friends for lunch or dinner. She only went out if they needed something from the grocery store or if Thomas asked for her help at the studio.

They knew that she was still in complete anguish over losing their father. Her once bright, sunny personality was shuttered away. She'd still smile at them and try and be her old self, but they knew it was an act.

Nicky and Emily could hear her muffled sobs late at night. Amanda would usually go to bed early, claiming she was exhausted, and lock herself away with the memories of her beloved husband.

The girls were still grieving, but nothing like how their mother was.

"Okay." Nicky got up to clear her and her sister's plate away. "We'll leave in an hour Em."

Emily pushed back from the table. She didn't want to leave her mother alone but she knew if she put up an argument, she'd end up upsetting both her and Nicky.

She knew her sister needed a break from the sadness. They all did. But Emily's heart hurt more for their mom than for her own loss. She couldn't imagine losing someone who was not only a best friend but also one's true love.

She paused on her way to go upstairs and swooped down, engulfing her mother in a hug from behind.

Amanda blinked back tears over it.

Maxwell used to do that, she thought to herself.

He was always coming up behind her and wrapping her up in a hug. She wondered if her Emily even knew how many traits she shared with her father.

She reached back and gently patted her daughter's cheek.

"Love you, Mums." Emily said softly.

"Love you too, angel." Amanda replied, kissing her cheek. "I want you to have a good time tonight." She smiled at her. "Dance for me, okay?"

Emily nodded.

"Good. Now go put on that new dress Nicky picked out for you. I know you're going to be a knockout in it. Hollywood won't know what to do with you once they see you."

Emily snorted on a giggle. "I don't know about that."

"Trust me. My girls are nothing but gorgeous." Amanda got up to get rid of her barely touched plate. "Just try and prove me wrong."

Emily beamed at her then ran upstairs.

Once she was out of sight, Amanda went into the kitchen.

"Leave those." She ordered. "I'll clean them."

"But you did the cooking." Nicky argued. "Beaumont's always split the chores."

Amanda briefly closed her eyes. Maxwell used to tell their daughters that every time they did something together.

"I know." She managed to say without crying. "But, I want you to go dress up. You deserve a night of carefree fun after all you've been through."

Nicky averted her eyes. She couldn't imagine a worse time in her life. Not only had she lost her beloved father, but she'd also lost her own, what she once believed, true love. She would be lying if she said she didn't need to go out and get her mind off of things, even if it was for a few hours. She needed a distraction to stop thinking about life without her father and life without Lord Jackson Nevrakis-Walker.

Setting a dishtowel down, she hugged her mother tight.

Amanda held her, gently smoothing her daughter's hair. She wished she could take all of her pain away. It killed her to see her Nicky like this.

Nicky sighed and stepped back. "I'll do my best to be carefree."

"Good." Amanda shooed her out of the kitchen. "I want you to smile and enjoy everything tonight."

"I'll try." She promised.

*****************

"How do we look, Mums?" Emily twirled around.

Amanda nodded, forcing a smile. "Gorgeous. Just like I knew you would."

"We'll be back early." Nicky promised.

"You'll do nothing of the sort!" Amanda followed them to the door. "I don't want to hear you coming in until the sun is rising."

"Yeah, but--" Emily tried to tell her they didn't want her left alone.

"I mean it." Amanda said in a firm tone. "Have a night of pure fun."

Nicky looped her arm with her sister's to tug her out the door.

"We'll do our best." She told her.

Once the door closed, both girls finally gave in to their worries.

"We can't leave her alone!" Emily grumbled. "You know what she's going to do while we're gone."

"I know. But she won't stop worrying about us if we don't go." Nicky slid into the back of a waiting town car.

Emily followed her, brow furrowed as she looked back at the place they were currently calling home.

Nicky chewed on her bottom lip while trying to think of what to do. If they were in Cordonia, she wouldn't be as worried. She knew her parents' friends would be there, drawing her mother out of her grief.

If only they had someone close by who could do the same--

"I'll call Uncle Thomas." Nicky told her sister. "He'll go check on her for us."

"You think he's home?" Emily asked, hope tinging her voice.

"I know he isn't at a party." Nicky teased.

The girls leaned their heads close together as they waited anxiously with each unanswered ring.

"Hello?" Thomas said on the fifth ring.

"Uncle Thomas?" Nicky greeted with a great deal of relief. "It's me and Emily."

"Is everything all right?" He asked.

"Kinda." Emily replied.

It didn't take long before the girls shared their worries with him.

"I'll go over there." He promised. "Don't worry, I'll make sure Amanda isn't alone tonight."

"Thank you." Nicky said, fighting back tears.

"We knew we could count on you to help her." Emily added. "Maybe she'll open up to you. Mums is keeping everything inside and won't talk to us about how she's feeling."

"I know she's doing it to not upset us." Nicky explained. "She's trying to make everything normal or at least as normal as things can be right now."

"I see." Thomas reassured them again he'd go over there.

When the girls ended the call, he sat back in his chair as he debated what to do. He knew if he called and gave Amanda any warning that he was coming over, she'd probably do her best to talk him out of it. Deciding that he wasn't going to put her through that type of stress, he got up and grabbed his car keys.

He wasn't entirely sure what he should do once he got there, but he was determined to try and help someone he deeply cared for.

****************

As soon as she knew the girls weren't coming back for anything they might have forgotten, Amanda sank down onto the couch and allowed her depression to finally be set free.

Tears began fall in steady paths down her cheeks as she stared at the wall. She pulled her knees to her chest, rested her chin on them, and thought about Maxwell. How could she possibly go on without him? He'd been everything to her. Her entire world revolved around him and the family they'd created.

She didn't have him here reassuring her with the decisions she'd made. Did she do right in taking the girls out of Cordonia? With Nicky's infamous breakup, Emily being publicly cheated on, and Maxwell's death; she couldn't see a way around it. They needed to get away from so many memories.

But...

She had so many here in California with Maxwell. With each of them writing and their novels being used for movies and series, they'd spent a lot of their time together in Hollywood. Perhaps she shouldn't have accepted Thomas's suggestion to come here.

Her breaths became audible as she began to think about her past. Romantic moments with Maxwell began to go through her mind. All the anniversaries where he went above and beyond what most would deem normal struck hard. She could recall each outrageous gift, the kisses, the moments alone, his words of love...everything.

She realized why those were haunting her tonight. Tomorrow would have been their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.

*****************

A few months earlier...

"This is a big one." Maxwell teased. "We have to really think hard about how to celebrate this anniversary."

"What did you have in mind?" Amanda asked, looping her arms around his neck.

His lips curved as he pulled her close for a kiss.

"Definitely a whole lot of that." He winked at her. "I think we should do a second honeymoon after a Beaumont Bash that puts all previous bashes to shame."

"Isn't that what you say about every new Beaumont Bash?" She teased.

"Yeah, but this one is for my all-time favorite love story." He explained, kissing her deeply. "I can't think of anything more important than celebrating you and me."

"Neither can I." She sank into his embrace, feeling all the thrills his touch still gave her after all these years together.

"Good. I'm thinking for our second honeymoon, we go somewhere where we can be alone." His eyes closed when she kissed his neck. "After all our travels with the girls and everybody, I need you all to myself for a while."

"How long's a while?" She asked, loving his ideas as usual.

"A month." He decided. "If we go longer, I know you'll get tired of me."

"Impossible." She smiled up at him.

He grinned. His dimples she adored deepened with her saying what he hoped was still true.

"There's that reason why I married you!" He laughed when she playfully pushed him away.

Maxwell snagged her hand, twirling her back within his arms.

"I love you so much, Lady Beaumont." He whispered in her ear, hugging her tight.

"I love you too, Lord Beaumont."

***************

Amanda buried her head against her knees as her body became wracked with sobs.

***************

Thomas was relieved he had a spare key. When his knock went unanswered, he quietly slipped inside. Before he could even take a step over the threshold, he could hear Amanda crying.

He shut the door and followed the sounds into the living room.

His heart ached at the sight of her curled up on the couch. Her shoulders shook with each hoarse cry for Maxwell. All the tears had turned her hazel eyes gray.

Without a word, he sat down beside her and gently pulled her into his arms.

Amanda clutched tight to him, burying her face against his shoulder as she continued to cry her heart out.

He sat there, occasionally rubbing her back and allowed her to simply grieve.

She needed this. She needed someone to remain quiet and not speak the usual platitudes of time healing. She didn't want anyone crying with her. She didn't mean to be selfish, but she needed her grief to be front and center. Anyone else sobbing beside her would have made her feel like she had to stop her own sorrow to comfort them.

With her daughters, it was different. Their broken hearts broke hers in a different way, thus making her be the strong one. She knew she had to help hold them while the onslaught of slashes from depression struck their tender hearts.

Maxwell had been the one to always hold Amanda and simply let her cry. For their entire life together, she knew she could turn to him without hesitation or worry over what he might think. She allowed herself to drop all her barriers and simply be the timid little girl who feared losing loved ones she thought she still was.

She'd lost her parents when she was twelve. Her uncle, when she was barely twenty. And now she'd lost the one man who had been by her side throughout all those deaths that had nearly broken her.

How could she possibly recover from losing Maxwell without him here to hold her?

Her sobs eventually quieted. The tears still fell as she simply remained in Thomas's arms. She was exhausted from this harsh episode and didn't even have the strength to apologize for crying so hard on him.

Thomas rested his head against hers and continued to hold her tight as if willing his strength to give her comfort.

Amanda swallowed, eyes closing when she felt him place a kiss on her forehead. She didn't realize how much she needed that tender reassurance that she was not alone.

On instinct, she curled more against his side, selfishly taking every scrap of comfort he was giving her.

He gently brushed her hair back that was sticking to her damp cheeks. With one arm around her waist, he began to run his fingers through her hair, slowly soothing her back into a calm state of mind.

He wasn't entirely certain how long they sat like that with neither saying a word. Thomas only knew he would stay there for as long as she needed him to.

When the clock chimed one in the morning, he knew Amanda had fallen asleep in his arms. He carefully eased away from her to find a blanket to cover her up with.

He paused when she grasped his hand.

"Please." She pleaded in a hoarse whisper. "Please, don't leave me. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't ask it of you but--"

Her red rimmed eyed held his. They revealed the deep well of pain that threatened to consume her once more.

"I'm not going anywhere." He promised. "I'm only going to retrieve a blanket for us."

Her head jerked in a nod of understanding as fresh tears pricked her eyes once more.

He found a blanket in a hall closet and sat back down beside her. Before she could even move, he pulled her back within his arms then draped the blanket over them both.

Thomas pressed another kiss to her forehead once she rested her cheek on his shoulder.

"Rest." He whispered, his lips brushing her skin with each word. "I'll be right here the whole time."

Amanda hugged him close to her. Exhaustion won out before she could stay awake long enough to thank him.

Her last thought before sleep took over was that she didn't know how to move on from Maxwell, but having Thomas here made the notion of having to do so a little less painful.

[krikeymate]

It was probably a casting coincidence but Tara being much smaller than her sister (and basically everyone else) adds so much to the narrative. We can be direct and say oh well it was genetics and DNA.

BUT

we could also say something about her childhood and infancy, her relationship w her parents, her relationship w her sister, her relationship w food, etc it could take an interesting and layered route

I've joked about short king Mr Carpenter before, but I'm way more invested in all the other possibilities instead.

I like to mention that Tara has trouble eating/feeding as a child. Combine that with neglectful parents, you get a child who doesn't get the nutrition and food they need. You know what else can stunt growth? Chronic stress. It's real stressful living in a house with a mother who doesn't care about at best, and outright hates you at worst. Watching your sister - the only person who cares about you, the person you love most in this world - decline and become angry and distant and fall into addiction, that's pretty stressful.

There seems to be some debate over whether asthma will also affect adult height or not, so I'm going to err on the side of it doesn't. However, the condition can make eating/swallowing difficult, and inhalers can irritate the throat, which may attribute to less interest in eating as it hurts. Between that and sensory issues, the sense of fear and unsafeness she would experience as a child, she didn't have a good relationship with food. After all, you don't feel hungry if you don't feel safe.

Then as a teenager moving into an adult, the causes are a lot more mental and neglect related. Cheap and easy-to-make food with small portions become a staple when you're not sure when there will be money again.

Sam has always done her best, but she's just a child herself, trying to raise her little sister. She doesn't know what to do when her sister won't eat, so she sticks to the things she knows she will (with some encouragement), it doesn't make for a nutritious meal, but it's better than nothing, is always the saying. But years and years of this, it takes its toll.

[maddstermind]

OC In 15

Thank you for the tag @the-down-upside-finch!!! This is so fun!!!!

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

I uh. Did all of the POV Quartet. So I will tag people up top and put it all below a readmore LMAO. Tagging @saintedseraph, @k-v-briarwood, @sentfromwolves, @veneritia, and @scribe-scott!!

Rosamund:

"It's not true. I'm not- I'm not bad. It was-wasn't my idea. I ju-just want to be wi-with the people I lo-love. Please."

"Roland. Teach me how to fight. [...] For me. For my peace of mind. For the worst case scenario."

"You're doing this to ensure I don't put an end to the war you're so desperately trying to start, and I won't stand for it."

"Magic isn't a sickness, mother. I'm proud to have it."

"I thought we were in no danger here?" ["Well, I certainly hope so, but there's no harm in being prepared."] "So the knights should be at the dinner."

["I will not let you ruin your future."] "You are ruining my future. I've seen it."

"Have you ever gotten the feeling you're seeing someone for the last time?"

"I'd rather have died in that fire than continue to be tied to a nation of small-minded slaughterers."

"You all fear magic. My mother did, too. But keep this in mind for if we ever meet again. You are no longer negotiating with a like-minded Sivonese noble. You are dealing with a mage."

"I want to be nothing like [my mother]. Lucky for me, that means being a decent person."

"I won't let it happen. I will not fall to this."

"That's very interesting, but I'm not giving up until I make some progress."

"Run. Before I stop being a coward and kill you."

"I didn't mean to hide my position from you, I simply... didn't want you to be intimidated."

["You can't trust me already."] "But I'd like to."

Christie:

"Genes don't dictate guilds. Anyone can do anything."

"I'm not quitting. I may be young, but I'm not quitting. I'm just... frustrated."

"I don't care if she doesn't like me. I'm not going to stay away from you just because she wants me too."

"Val Thorne! He's an investigator, hunting down criminals all around Exosto. He's from Crown's Ridge, and I've been to some of the places he goes to in his books. Sometimes he gets details wrong, though, but that's okay. It's a fictional version of Exosto. He doesn't have to worry about things like diplomatic passage to get into Rasduk."

[debating if someone is flirting] "I think it's too early to throw it out as a theory, though. You may come across more evidence to support it. But I'd consult the opinion of an expert."

["Secret passage? Where to?"] "I don't know. I'm about to find out."

"I'm not afraid of anything. But I know it's important to be safe, and even more important to be calm, so you can handle if things go badly or if you find something gross, like a skeleton."

"I will be a great mage. Just you wait."

"I don't care if they don't want me. They never came and found me, so I don't know if they loved me that much. But I at least want to know who they are. If they look weird, like me. That kind of thing."

"I have to tell her. I don't— Don't want her to think less of me. I have to tell her."

"I don't want [Maurelle] to fall behind. I'm fine. Goodbye."

"If they're worried about time… n-no offense, but why would they hire an Investigator who is magic-averse?"

"Don't say stuff like that. That's for movies when people are about to die."

"Do you ever wish you could do magic?"

"I told you I'll stay safe. I'm not leaving."

Addison:

"My Lady. Would you like to crash this party? And this whole engagement, as it were?"

["You're the witch house guy?"] "Glad to see that's become my reputation."

["Rulers should always be honest. That's what Miss Fairchild always says."] "And she's right, but guess what? Most rulers aren't. And I'm not a ruler yet."

[to a bird] "You're a cute little thing, you know. Strange, but cute."

["What did you say about stabbing?"] "I gave them plenty of warning. And no one got hurt."

"I promise you'll be safe. I'll set you down just as soon as you'll be able to move by yourself."

"Luxurious or not, [the castle is] still a prison."

"I'm sorry? Just like them? You can just say magic-averse, Miss Fairchild, it's not a dirty word. And for your information, yes! I do plan on being just like them! Is it such a terrible thing to be? I suppose you'd think so, having magic all your life. You've never known what it's like to be without it! I'd pity you if the truth wasn't that it's terrible and limiting."

"Up for an adventure? I'm looking for a witch."

"Katamar, Dimitio, Vunwra. Guide me to what I'm seeking. Do not let me go home empty handed. I was put on this path for a reason, you put me here, did you not?"

"Funny story. I did almost die."

"I believe in all of you. I think you should at least try for what you want. It's better to try and fail than to not try at all."

["That's an antique, not a weapon."] "I think it'll do."

"I didn't meant to kill him - oh, Silpa. Oh, Silpa, I killed someone."

"I'm sorry for all that. Tha-Thank you for helping me. I promise it won't happen again."

Ashton:

"I can't have it happen again, Sutton. I want to help you, but I can't lose another town."

"Stay here. Stay hidden. I'll try and get them away from here. Keep away from the windows, and do not go outside until I come back alone. Understand?"

[lying] "I've never met a mage. I wouldn't know if I saw one."

"I'm coming with you. If… you don't mind the company."

"I'll be back. As soon as I'm able, I'll be back."

"This is a mountain, Sutton, the last thing you're going to see up here is fish."

["Anything [alcoholic] I can get you?"] "Something lighter, please."

"I can't imagine anyone being afraid of your magic."

"Hey, you're hurting yourself. You're not going to get out that way."

"If I'd known you'd react like this, I would've tried to find something else. You don't have to apologize for a reaction like this."

"How am I supposed to help you if I don't know what to avoid? If I don't know why we're doing this in the first place?"

"You were a kid asking for help. That does not put you at fault for their disappearance, you did the right thing. Anyone would have done the same."

"Twenty years, and I've been playing the victim this whole time. I'm scared of fire, a-and of rosey-armored knights, and I shouldn't be! I brought it on myself. I have no right to act this way, but I do."

[about magic] "I never thought it would feel like this."

["I've come this far."] "We've come this far."

[miercolaes]

i'm on my once upon a time rewatch and spoiler alert, this one character became the author. as an author, you're given two options : record history as it happens or write it yourself. which means either let fate run its course or change it to your liking. so of course i'm here to write shit that goes against netflix's wednesday. someone, i won't name who but they know who they are, has inspired me to think beyond what the show offered us. so here we go.

what if all that we see on the show happens because wednesday has written about this before? we see 3 psychics in the show that uses their powers (xavier, rowan and wednesday) and we are mentioned two more (rowan's mother and morticia). so far xavier's the only one that can manipulate what he draws, rowan had telekinetic powers, rowan's mother did draw and predict the future. but what did wednesday and morticia do? for morticia, we're yet to see. but for wednesday, besides some random flashes, her powers are nonexistent. and i can't go with the fact her only superpower is being plagued by visions and not even on her own accord. even goody addams did more, even as a ghost.

so my thought is, the addamses women can see in the past, predict the future and most importantly, weave a future. we know wednesday wants to become an author. but let's be honest, not many novels do get sold if they're not interesting, with more intrigue than it should and so on so forth. which brings me back to viper (wednesday) and dominica (morticia). maybe one of the responses she got was that the main character had a perfect family and she must change that bc it's not realistic (ginny and georgia anyone?). so when she did, that's when her own feelings and thoughts towards her mother had become different. literally the only thing that's making sense beside wednesday pulling a ginny on tish.

as her drafts progressed, she had to create a monster, after all, so did mary shelley. so she did write about one, the only problem was that she didn't know what it was or who it was. but as every protagonist ever, viper had to find out in the end, by the time the last battle commences. it's basic storytelling, right? which concomitantly is exactly when the hyde is revealed to be tyler, the person she trusted the most.

and if we dig deeper (i am hanging by the thinnest thread to my sanity), doesn't the name jericho sounds familiar? if you didn't grow in a religious setting, you may have heard of iniko's jericho song which goes like jericho, jericho walls come down. according to this one biblical site, the israelites marched around jericho for 7 days and conquer the city when its walls miraculously fell down. israel destroys the city and everything in it, except for rahab and her family. which could mean that wednesday might unknowingly (or otherwise) bring jericho to destruction. to nothingness. whoever she spared is up to debate. if she wrote the imminent destruction of jericho, then there must be a reason. who broke my goth child so badly??? and why?????

but yeah, i think i'm going to make this a headcanon. it's the only thing that makes sense to me. the town being named jericho, wednesday being a writer that can write the present and the future, her relationship with her mother during season 1. let me be delulu, okay?

[officialbillhader]

Sometimes i wish abuse was more black and whote than it actually is. Like, if my father were to hit me right now, i'd know what to do. I'd know that i had to leave him at all costs. Him and i would not need to be close anymore. But what are you supposed to do when your father looks you dead in the eyes and asks you if it's alright if he kills himself after you leave and his 91 yr old mother dies? Or really, after his mother dies. He couldnt die before his mother. It wouldnt be fair or right. But, oh, the selfish act of suicide inflicted upon your daughter would be good and justified. Sometimes i leave, other times i push him like im some kind of psychiatrist, the psychiatrist that he refuses to visit. I find out that he doesnt want to die. He doesnt want to kill himself. He's saying it as a way to inflict pain upon those that are supposed to love him. He thinks it justified. We dont love him enough, he thinks. We just want him dead, he says. A lot of times, it's easier to pretend we do.

He gets physical with my mom, at times. Scares her into thinking he'll do something awful. She'll leave the room, but never leave him. She's both the strongest and weakest person i know. Fantasizing about us moving away from him, but wont do it. Some days, i become her stand into him. I take on her face, become the women he lashes out against the most, and it isnt easy, because i used to be able to control him. To get him to shut up. Now im nothing more than the woman who trapped in a marriage that forces him to joke about hiring prostitutes to get laud. Am i worthy of being the stand in? Am i worthy of the hatred? Its so much easier when my mom is with me because then we know hes being ridiculous. We escape into eachother.

But when its just me and him and he decides im not worthy of being my own person, he bitches and bitches and wants to call me a selfish bitch just like my mother all because i asked if he would help me bring the mattress into my room that i had asked him to help me with five hours ago. Bc his daughter wanted his help. Instead, she tells him to leave, she moves the mattress herself, she sobs the entire time, she promises herself she wont speak to him anymore. Maybe the silent treatment will get him to realize he needs help. She knows she wont do it.

Its not all like this. Just last weekend, we went down to my apartment and packed the rest of my things. He was pleasant enough all day. We take road trips, go to packed concerts, visit family (where he can despise his mother and pretend he loves his wife), have a good time. He's my father. He's the dad that everyone wishes they had. He knows how to hide himself still, though it gets harder every day.

It's always easy to tell someone else that their loved one is abusing them. I reassure my mom that hes abusing her, she reassures me hes abusing me. But when youre alone in your room debating, its an entirely different story. You think about the good. You think about how much easier life will be. You think about the nice boy you broke up with bc he bitched about how you did the dishes and you cant risk marrying someone like youre dad. You think about the time your mom has expressed regret at marrying him, only to inadvertly say that he was not worth your existence. You forget that 30 year wedding anniversaries aren't supposed to be purposely forgotten about, but celebrated with parties. You think about how your dad cuddles with the kitten sweetly, but thinks its funny to turn the stovetop on when they walk across it. You think about how he hurt your half sibling more than he could ever hurt you. You think about how your children won't be allowed much of a relationship with him.

You think about all of this while you put damp sheets on the mattress that you hauled into your room by yourself. Youre not sure if its abuse or a bad day. Tomorrow, he could be fine. Today, you stressed him too much by asking for too much of his help. Tomorrow, hopefully, you wont wake up with damp sheets.

[catgirl-catboy]

Bro is dead- I name him Zechariah in my head which means in Hebrew "to remember"

Mika and Val having very harsh communication issues and I live for it! Please kiss eachother.

Tom and Val is interesting pair too like victim x killer of course they are.

I believe Zechariah and Yukio's friendship is ending very roughly to both of them cause I believe Yukio have a finger on it.

I'm still excited to find out who the mastermind is but Maybe this story doesn't contain a mastermind or that was Primrose (joking way)

Actually, the mastermind is Mukuro, who's busy supervising this via Monokuma while Junko is planning the THH killing game. This becomes a serious problem because she's so close to the pods she can kill someone IRL super easily.

That being said, in addition to Robin being the traitor, Mika helped create this program with her tech expertise. However it was more of a "fooled by Junko that in-line with her beliefs" and she turned on Junko when she found out its true purpose.

The Ch4 motive is that every day, a random classmate has to face one of their fears (stolen from Total Drama, because I can.)

Zechariah has it easy, since he doesn't have enough memories to really fear anything. (He has to give himself a stovetop burn due to Aiden's murder scarring him.)

Miyuko has to admit that she was doping to keep up with Yukio, who is technically the better skater of the two. If she's caught, both of them will be stripped of thier titles. Her coach forced her into it, to a degree. (she has a better artistic component.)

Yukio fears betrayal, so he has to mentally deal with the traitor. He's not having a good time about Miyuko's secret.

Mika has to have a standoff with a robot version of her mother. Also, cornbread. She has a fear of that due to getting food poisoning from it once, and everyone else has a good laugh at that.

Celene fears car crashes due to her vision, but also being seen as a god figure.

Robin fears letting people down. Which is why he became the traitor in the first place. He has to face the bodies of the kids he risked his life to save, in an au where he failed to save them. It fucks him up.

Celene has to deal with the fact that her Mika and Tom vision didn't come true, and probably won't due to Tom's death. Were all of her visions fake? Does she even deserve to lead? Is her talent a lie?

Throughout this chapter, (which would take 2-3ish weeks in-universe, but there'd be timeskips if this ever became playable) Celene sympathizes with Mika, while everyone else does NOT. cool motive, still accomplice to murder, you know?

Miyuko distrusts her the most, and even lashes out in anger and tells her its her fault (this is not true.) she regrets it almost immediately after, and runs off the apologize.

Mika, of course, forgives her. He isn't the type to care about stranger's opinions.

Over the course of the chapter, almost everyone makes an attempt on Mika's life. Robin, out of obligation to keep the game going, Miyuko in a fit of anger, etc. I'm debating having Celene get a vision of attacking her and being forced to do it, but idk if thats IC.

Mika understands, forgives all of them, and talks them out of it. He doesn't tell anyone about it, because that'd ruin group unity.

They find Z dead one day, and Mika freaks out because he failed. It isn't clear how he died, and its speculated its because of the peanut allergy.

He died of natural causes, because he was (unknowingly) suffering from brain cancer the whole time. Celene had a vision a couple of days before HPA, but it wasn't clear who it was about. (It was foreshadowed due to a lack of his medical records in the nurses office, and supplies for hospice patients there.)

So in order to beat the trial, you have to not vote.

The problem is one person can knowingly vote incorrectly and kill everyone. Due to everyone's murder attempts being exposed, tension is high. Thankfully, it goes without a hitch.

Monokuma then begins chapter 4.5, find the traitor and kill them! Whoever gets voted off gets killed, simple as that.

[writerfae]

Here it is! Sorry for any spelling mistakes, I'm really tired, so there probably are some.

Knights of the Alder: Mermaid au

Aiden lives in a small fishing village. His brother dissappeared years ago out at sea, leaving him to take care of his father. Most say he drowned. Some say that he ran away with a siren in the dead of night, betraying his own kind. Aiden is one of the latter ones. Not about the betrayal! Never! But just like their mother, Henry always had a special connecton to the sea.

One day when out fishing with some other people, something huge was caught in Aiden's net. He rushed to release it, thinking it was a dolphin, but no... It was a mermaid. One with ginger hair (Hela).

She was wild. Angry. Afraid.

The other fishermen start congratulating Aiden. They start debating what to do with the mer. Cook it? What would the meat of mer taste like? Keep it as a pet? No!

Sell it. Their small village will become the richest in the land.

Aiden's just still thinking about how afraid she was.

The mermaid gets tied to the deck between the ships still in the net for the night, bearly able to move within the thin ropes. That's when she hears someone coming.

It's the one who caught her, probably coming to admire his prey. But he CUTS THE NET.

Hela just stares, mouth open in shock, instead of swimming away(like an idiot* as Talon would say).

"Sorry you got caught in my net" he smiles apologetically "I'm Aiden"

"Hela... and don't apologize! It was dumb of me to go that close to a boat, really! I was just curious! But why let me go?"

"Are you serious?! Have you heard what the others said they'd do?! You're still a person, fish legs or not, I couldn't allow them to just sell you like a wild animal!"

Hela was surprised at the answer, but didn't question it. Instead:

"The other humans said the village would get a lot of money for me. Won't you get in trouble for this?" Hela knew trouble. There were two kinds: fun and not fun and this sadly seemed like the not fun one.

"Don't worry I'll handle it. It will be fine. But you should go! It was nice meeting you!"

Aiden smiled sweetly at her then left to where Hela couldn't follow, leaving her not at all convinved that he would be fine.

-

"For releasing the mermaid, and costing the village an inconceivable amount of gold I sentence you to death!"

Aiden was sentenced to death. Huh.

Hazel and Holly fought hard for him, claiming that he caught the mer, he had the right to to with her as he pleased, but to no avail. In the end with teary eyes that he tried so hard to hide he asked them to look after his father.

He was allowed to see the man one last time. He told Aiden:

"All of you: your mother brother and you all have a connection to the sea. Always had"

And then Aiden was put on a boat that took him out to sea to drown.

They were probably just the words of a grieving man like always, but to Aiden it seemed like his father meant something else.

His hands were tied together and a heavy rock was attached to his ankle. The weight pulled him all the way down to the bottom of the sea. Before he lost consciousness he saw huge fish swimming aroud him happily.

-

"Why do I go anywhere with you guys?" Talon asked. They were floating in the water way too close to a human village. Way, way too close considering that Hela was caught here not two days ago! Why were they here?

Well, apparently Hela befriended (had one conversation with) a human, and she was worried about him.

"We need to make sure he's ok!" hissed Hela.

"Seriously, we've been here all night, don't you think something would've happened by..."

He was shushed, but to his surprise not by Hela.

Maya was pointing to the docks.

"Something's happening!"

All of them lowered themselves into the water so that only their eyes were peaking out.

A boy, hands tied was being led to a big ship.

Hela gasped.

"That's him!"

Talon frowned. The way the others manhandled "Aiden" did not look very friendly.

They followed the ship, Talon and Maya trying to get Hela to keep her distance when they stopped in the middle of the ocean.

"What are they doing?" asked Hela way too loudly for Talon's liking.

"Maybe they stopped to fish-OH MY GOD!"

Aiden was put on a plank, a giant rock tied to his ankle. One of the humans kicked the rock that fell into the water yanking the boy down with it.

The mermaids started swimming after him as fast as they could. When they reached the bottom Aiden already passed out.

-

The mermaids here have the power to keep someone alive underwater by singing. The person will be asleep but unharmed.

Hela, Talon and Maya use this power, periodically changing who sings, and take Aiden to a safe place.

Now they are in a predicament. They can't take Aiden back to shore, because the closest human civilization is the one that kicked him out. They can't let anyone know about him, because it would cause a panic, so what do they do?

Well for now, someone always stays with him, singing to him, then someone else takes their place.

Days pass like this.

King Henry even notes one time that the three of them haven't been seen together for a few days now, almost giving Talon a heart attack.

-

"I'm telling king Callan. He'll know what to do" says Hela one day, far too seriously compared to her usual self.

"No you can't! Who knows what he'll do if he finds out you were almost sold?" argued Talon.

"I don't care! Look at him!"

And Talon did. Though their song kept him alive, Maya gently humming to him now while petting his hair, Aiden was in a coma. He hadn't had food for days. He was dying.

Before Talon could argue any farther Hela swam off.

"Stay with him" he told Maya "I'll see if I can take the brunt of the punishment myself"

-

Interaction with humans wasn't outlawed. King Henry grew up pretending to be one when Callan found him. But getting caught. Bringing a human here without permission...

But Hela knew that king Callan was a good king. He'd have mercy on Aiden even if she got fired from her job for this.

So she told them everything.

In the middle of her explanation Talon came, trying to take the blame for himself saying that he should've been with Hela.

"Please, you have to help him! He's really nice! He saved me! He's... he's actually from the same village king Henry used to live in! His name is Aiden, and he's my friend! It's my fault that this happened to him! Please-"

"What was his name?" Hela was cut off by her Henry's voice that was full of fear. Like he was starting at a shark.

Talon and Hela looked at each other.

"Aiden, my king" the boy said.

Callan grabbed Henry's hand.

"Take us to him!" He commanded.

-

Turns out Aiden was king Henry's brother.

Callan used his royal magic to turn the boy into a mermaid, and a tearful reunion took place, half of which was spent convincing Aiden that he wasn't dead, and yes that was really Henry.

Aiden was pretty clumsy with his new tail, but Talon was assigned to guard him, and teach him, much to his dismay (and no, he did not enjoy staring at the boy's golden scales at all).

Oh god I love your idea so much! I think I’m in love with this AU now. It’s really inspiring!

I like everything about this!

I like how Aiden caught but also freed Halea (a very Aiden thing to do!) and how she saved him in return!

And I like the fact that mermaids can keep humans alive underwater by singing! That’s a very neat detail!

I’m really excited and honored you made up an AU for my story. And I adore a good mermaid AU, so this is literally perfect.

Thanks so much for this! <3

[randomnameless]

(not the voice line anon )

I do think Rhea knows it's inevitable for mortals to eventually die from old age and it's just a fact of life. The translation completely changed the words and tone of her lines though. Like yes I do think that's what Rhea kinda sorta IMPLIED but that's NOT what she said.

Also The problem with nemesis is it would take centuries before he and his elites will die from old age and with them alive it would mean constant war. Also theyre waging war using the remains of her mother and kin (who they murdered), I wouldn't let them live either.

I recall Apostle Aubin lived mad long like until he met Yuri!!! Which means nemesis, even without being preserved by TWSITD, could potentially last just as long! Endless war and suffering due to near immortal corrupt powerhungry genocidal humans is not ideal (which is exactly what TWS wants)

Also If fe3h is related to the 3 kingdoms... well historically, like before it became the 3 kingdoms , there was already alot of chaos due to warring warlords and Nemesis and the elites reminds me of warlords all trying to gain more and more power through conquest. Flayn did say they wanted to conquer the world

Oh.

Well the thing that makes me doubt it is how Rhea had human allies, I mean she was lugging around Wilhelm during the War of Heroes when Wilhelm was well past 100 (assuming he wasn't crown at 10 old lol), and until 21ish years ago, Jeralt was still fit/strong enough to be the Legendary Blade Breaker, Captain of the Knights of Seiros.

So unless crested humans's bodies age exceptionally fast past 280 years old (if Jeralt is 300 in Nopes) I don't think his general low perf battle wise is only due to his age.

Nemesis'n'Dudes were, at best, around 170-ish years old (let's say he was 20 when the Red Canyon happened, and it happens not earlier than -40. Nemesis was born in -60? He dies in 92, which would make him around 170-ish by the time he dies?) and were still forces to be reckoned with, Seiros the Warrior herself not stomping them. 100 years later they suddenly suck?

I mean, it's definitely possible, but saying this is the reason why he lost?

I can't see it - however, leaving the Knights and living on the run, not following the hard training regimen/mission knights do might have dulled his blade, Rhea herself complain about not letting her blade becoming dull by wanting to spar more with Catherine, so, idk.

Ahaha, Aubin and the Apostles are another debate lol, imo I'm firmly convinced they were Nabateans and not Crested Humans, but there are enough clues to go both ways!

As for Nemesis, sure, knowing how Nabateans want a peaceful Fodlan and Rhea had her personal revenge on top, she'd have most likely wanted Nemesis dead asap, but she still "waited" 70 years before going to war with him and 150 years after Zanado to kill him, if Jerry sucks because of old age, they could just have stalled.

Sadly, about all those points you raised, we can just theorise and honeypot and HC things away, because the devs dgaf about those things and unless we get a guidebook like Tellius did 10 years after its release, we might never have answers :/

(but even if the book is published, you can bet it'd won't be localised for the US market, unless Treehouse can edit it lol)

[embersofhope-if]

I was told that for some, it's hard to read these since they're images, so here I'm going to put what it says under the cut! I'm sorry if this caused issues for anyone<3

Creon Levesque: The Mentor

A special friend in very special places. I met Creon at a dinner party my Uncle Keyon had brought me to in The Capitol. Maybe, it was the fact that I was District or something else entirely, but from that night forward, Creon and I have had an intense and strange relationship. And now they stand before me, assuring me that with them as a mentor, everything will be alright, How, they managed to become a mentor, they won't tell me, but honestly, in the end does it really matter?

Profile I.

full name - Creon Jude Levesque age - Nineteen | Living gender/pronouns - Female, She/her: Male, He/him sexuality - Bisexual birthplace - Capitol, Panem residence - Capitol, Panem languages spoken - English height - 172 cm / 5'8" ft. weight - 66 kg / 145 lbs hair color - Black eye color - Dark Brown faceclaim - Fernanda Oliveira / Liam Samules voiceclaim - Shannon Woodward / Gonzalo Martin

Family II.

Clio Levesque - Mother | Living Kalon Levesque - Father | Deceased

Personality III.

The mysterious Capitolite that has taken interest in me. At first glance Creon seems to be just like every other Capitol citizen; gorgeous, rich, and not a single important thought in their head. How truly I was wrong, within moments of properly speaking to them I could see how much of an understanding Creon had on the world. They're intelligent beyond belief and with the air of cool confidence they carry around them it's hard not to be swept off your feet. Creon is more than aware of the effect they have on others and uses it to their benefit. With the reassuring smile they often have on it's almost impossible to see the darkness in their eyes.

Positive IV.

• Confident • Intelligent • Honest

Hobbies V.

• Reading • Debates • Poetry

Negative VI.

• Controlling • Possessive • Cynical

Fears VII.

• Failure • Abandonment • Sickness

Backstory VIII.

Over the almost seven years that I've known Creon, I've managed to somewhat piece together their life. When they were a baby, their father had gotten sick and died, leaving nothing behind but his wife and child. Creon's Mother, Clio, turned to work to avoid processing the grief of losing her husband and paid for someone to take care of Creon. What little interaction they had with their mother was filled with nothing but resentment and anger. Creon said, "they could always tell that she had wished that they died instead of their father." When they were young, they decided that they were going to do everything in their power to prove that their living was not a mistake. They wanted to leave a mark on the world that showed that they were worth something. Throughout their adolescence, Creon got top marks in almost every class, and it was incredibly difficult to find someone that didn't enjoy their presence. By the time they were sixteen, they had caught the attention of some incredibly influential and powerful people that had secured them an apprenticeship working under the Dean of the Academy. In Creon's final year of the academy, they had a full-ride to the university and had drawn so much attention to themselves in the political world of The Capitol that they name Levesque was often heard being mentioned in powerful homes. I assume these connections are the reason why Creon was able to become a mentor, but they refuse to tell me any of the specifics; with the twinkle that appears in their eyes every time we talk about the potential chances of me winning, I can tell that some type of deal has been made. I just hope that whatever it is, it's worth it, for both of our sakes.

Playlist ♤ Creons Board ♤ Mc & Creons Board

[lightningwaters]