#I won a Lane Prize

[dottie-mcveigh]

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 || 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠!𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one: I knew you were trouble // part two: would’ve could’ve should’ve

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_The Capitol's Dream girl was depressed. After Snow broke her heart and returned only to haunt her. It only takes an official marriage proposal on New Year's Day, an interview with Lucky Flickerman and a rebel bombing to completely break you, and make Snow realize there's a place for one last person to love for the rest of his life.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ 10k words fic ups, reader is depressed, blood, violence, angst, tears, drama, reader makes some cruel things, antidepressants, nothing wild but they have sex so mdni 18+ , Snow actually loves reader (well idk). I couldn't add anything about the games of Mags SORRY.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞_main song for this is Would've Could've Should've, song added to my Coryo Copito's playlist. Also, listen to the 1 and memory lane!!!

♪ ♫ Coryo playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)

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Nights were longer now. You couldn't sleep. Nightmares of the games, how you contributed. The vivid image of the first time you saw Clemensia after the snake bite. Your mind made you recreate Sejanus being hanged in District 12. And finally, your mind also made you replay every moment you had with Coriolanus Snow since you met him at 17.

You wished you never asked to sit with him at lunch. You wished you never asked to see him again.

He would've been just another classmate. If the things that happened in the 10th Hunger Games were meant to be, at least you wouldn't have been involved.

It wouldn't have hurt you enough to feel so miserable in the present.

But this was as good as it was going to get.

You weren't the best driver, but since very few people had a car, you dared to take the one your chauffeur was meant to. It distracts you from staring at the window and overthinking.

Sometimes you wonder how it would've turned out if Snow won the prize without being a mentor, just like it was planned to happen. Would you have made a stop at his place? For him to get inside your car and kiss you good morning. Then drive to the University of the Capitol? Could've been fun.

But you made your way alone. Only listening to the music that played on the radio.

And you wondered what would've happened if Arachne was alive, Sejanus too, and Clemensia was fine to take classes in person. Would they have made fun of you and Snow entering University holding hands? Could've been sweet.

But again, you were alone. It's a cloudy day at The Capitol. Your long emerald green coat gets stuck with the car door. You roll your eyes, opening the damn door once again to set free the piece of fabric.

You started wearing high heels. It made you look taller and you loved the sound every time you stepped out of your home. Your mother had launched a new collection, and she loved seeing you wearing her creations.

For the record, you haven't seen Coriolanus Snow since the day you had your first counselor appointment. That was a month ago, and it was… great.

Actually, it wasn't, but yeah…

A lot of people greeted you, but none were your friends. You see, the University isn't very different compared to the Academy. The same architecture, and familiar faces that no longer wear the red uniform. And even so, you feel like a fish out of water.

Life isn't perfect. But you weren't ready to start your young adult days feeling so out of breath.

"Y/n!…" you turn to encounter Persephone. A sweet girl from the Academy.

"Persephone. Hi…" You do your best to smile. She was a classmate from the Academy. And she never was your friend but you always thought she was so sweet.

"How have you been? You're all over the news" For the first time in weeks you giggle, feeling a little blushed. The feeling of someone asking you how you were doing felt so good.

"I've had better days. But here we are… And you?" She tilts her head.

"I visited my grandma's lake house in District 4. It was so good. I heard you're in the science and law program" you nod. You also knew Persephone was on the law program.

"Yeah, you're in law too…."

"Is Coriolanus going to be there too?" You stop smiling.

In fact, you weren't sure. But probably he would also be in law. Tigris once said he wanted to pursue politics.

"I'm not sure… We-…we don't talk anymore" she gasped in shock.

"What? Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were…"

"No. But it's fine. He must be doing great…" you cut her off before she can ask more questions.

Your first class was okay. Until Snow walked in, wearing a perfect dark blue suit. His silly hair looked slightly longer than the last time you saw him, but still, nothing compared to his messy hair from months ago. You pretend you didn't see him, opting to keep writing something in your journal. But he had to stop beside you. There are some minutes of silence, but nothing would make you turn to knowledge of his presence.

"Can I sit with you?" His voice is colder again. You can notice through a little glimpse of a white rose decorating his suit. But you keep your eyes set on the page in front of you.

And you know you won't fail again.

"No."

He can feel the venom in your voice.

"I'm sitting here." He says after all.

You really don't have time to tear up on the first day of University. You want to stand up and leave, but you're so mature that you won't say anything else.

At least, for the rest of the class, he doesn't say anything else, but you know he occasionally turns to see you.

"Is it gonna be like this forever?" He asks when it's over. You dare to see him in the eyes, enchanting blue as always. But the young man in front of you isn't the boy you met. And yet, he still made your heart beat like he was the same who was once your lover.

"I don't have time for this. Have a nice day, Snow'' he looks as you leave the classroom. His hands shook, and that feeling of guilt assaulted him once again. You are the proof alive of all the pain he caused. So he needs to have you back on his side, so he can feel some humanity remaining in him after all the things he did months ago. Because he knows there's no good left on him, but he can't get rid of you like he did with Sejanus, Highbottom… and Lucy Gray.

You were meant for him. But he was so infatuated with the other girl. And Snow was aware that you deserve the best. You were his ally since day one. So having you by his side again… would seal his imaginary pact.

He looks at you and sees the girl that gave him the chance of his life. He promised his grandma'am you would be the girl he would give a home and a family.

But now, every time he asked Tigris how you were, she avoided giving details. grandma'am was growing suspicious that things weren't going great. Tigris had been a lot of times on your house and mother's shows. Your father would ask for Coriolanus but he didn't know all the things the young man did to his daughter.

So Tigris would say he was still serving as a peacekeeper. And you, you would say you haven't talked a lot with him.

Not anymore. Coriolanus would try every day. As he denied he loved you, he pretended he needed you as you were the one. Just that.

…

"Y/n y/l/n." Suddenly a peacekeeper comes to you.

"Yes?" You ask politely.

"Dr. Gaul demands your presence in her laboratory" you sigh. Of course, she would be the first to ask to see you.

It was the same laboratory. Only that now was near. The way to get there was slow, even peaceful. Maybe because the day was almost over.

The first thing you notice is how many empty water tanks are scattered.

"There you are, Ms. Y/l/n" she appears from the crystal stairs at the end of the room. Wearing a yellow set that made her eyes more bright. Her hair is the same. Looking as evil and cynic as always.

"Dr. Gaul" you greet. Stopping some feet away from her.

"A school new year means new planning ahead" You nod. Already hearing what she was about to say. Well, not entirely.

"The last games were a mess. Between the rebels and Mr. Snow's bright decisions. Our central ideas couldn't be fulfilled. However, I decided to give him another chance, there's so much potential in that boy" You don't know how to feel about that. So you just remain quiet.

"Speaking of the devil…" when you turned back, Snow was walking towards you and the woman near you. Immediately you avoided his eyes, knowing he was probably looking at your dress. The coat was long gone, leaving a soft and accentuating pink dress with long sleeves.

He knew it was inappropriate. But ever since he gained your trust and his feelings of attachment to you, he had a long time to accept he had a thing for your hips. The dress was extremely simple but looked elegant with some bright exotic earrings, and it was your body that created the most attractive shape he'd ever seen.

And soon, his view of you became sided.

"I believe I don't need to remind you of your actions from the last games, Mr. Snow," the woman said.

"It won't happen again." He answered with confidence.

"I know it won't happen again," Gaul says laughing. Making you wonder how much time she had been trying to get into the position she was now.

"This year, let's say you'll be under probation, Mr.Snow. On the other hand, Ms. y/l/n. Another year and another success from you" his eyes were on you again. Turned to his left without shame. And that's when Snow remembered since he came back from District 12 how smart you were. Without saying anything, even avoiding it, you knew he had cheated on the games. And probably, without talking to him anymore, you knew he wasn't a good man.

Only that…slowly, you were also turning into a bad woman.

"Those water creatures are fully developed. They're nothing compared to the snakes from last year. This new invention has marked a new era for us…" To be honest, you don't know how to feel about it. Everything related to the games made you remember your dear friend Sejanus Plinth. He would've hated this creation from you. But on the bright side, this was your future. These were the constant obstacles you would have if you were to achieve success.

"Dr. Gaul. An emergency message has been sent to y/n y/l/n" Immediately you turned confused looking at a new peacekeeper. When you look at your mentor, she nods, indicating to you that you're allowed to leave.

"Excuse me." As you walk away, another peacekeeper has a cable phone. One of the newest wireless ones. Red and shiny, silently beeping. You can hear Snow asking Dr. Gaul something, but the sound of your heels is loud enough to make it difficult to understand as you reach the phone

The peacekeeper hands the cable phone. You pick up, feeling your heart pounding.

"Hello?" The low breathing of your mother can be heard.

"Darling! Something bad happened…"

"What?" You ask. And you don't know but Snow is trying so hard to listen to your conversation.

"Our mines in District 12. Your father made a little trip there with some friends. The people caused a revolt. They bombed the mines." You frown, in shock. Already feeling anger building up in your chest.

"Is pa' okay?" She sighs, which stresses you more.

"Some burns. The peacekeepers saved him on time" Snow listens to Gaul but he literally has an ear on you and the other in the mentor.

"Is it too bad? Like… putting our wealth in danger?" You whisper the last sentence. Your mother is a proud woman. But in the privacy of her family, she allowed herself to be vulnerable.

"I don't know, darling. We still have the mines in District 1. But the ones on the 12 represented greater materials" There's no time to cry and you know it.

So after some soothing words to your mother, you hang up. And you're not thinking clearly. You just know you're angry, and convinced someone had to pay. If you started disliking District 12 after the last games, now it was getting personal.

When you go back to stand beside Snow. You hear Gaul explaining to him how most of the lessons would go. But as soon as she turns back to you, there's an idea that leaves your mouth before you can breathe or blink.

"I was about to say that we should change the arena of the games. Each year it should change, like the seasons. Wasting the opportunity to use the water mutts sounds like a waste of potential for the views. If we still want a spectacle like the one from last year." The woman analyses your words. And after some seconds of silence, she speaks.

At the same time, Snow can't comprehend how poisonous you sound. He knew the call enraged you, it must've been bad.

"Then I'll ask you to find some suggestions for the arena"

"And… I have some ideas for this year Reaping" the woman's evil smile grows. She knows she's turning two young adults into monsters.

"I can't wait till Summer of next year" Gaul giggles, then lets you go, commenting that the next day the actual lessons would begin.

You sigh once she leaves. Finally acknowledging what you just did. Dooming a bunch of kids to fight for their lives with those water monsters. You remember Sejanus. The way he screamed in anger when his tribute was punished for trying to escape.

You're also a monster.

Snow turns to your side, looking as if you have just been cut with something, and he's searching for the wound.

"Are you okay? What happened?" he asks worriedly, caressing your forearm.

"Your beloved district 12. That's what happened." You spit with venom, squirming away from him.

Your harshness takes all over the place as you move away from him.

…

It's New Year's Day. A bright morning, and you already have your first guest. Clemensia Dovecote.

She still wears turtlenecks. But the gloves are gone. You can't stop smiling after seeing her smile and laugh as she drinks tea on your patio.

"I can't believe it worked, y/n," she says changing the subject. The first dose you gave her was after the games, in late summer. And now, at the peak of winter, Clemensia looked amazing. The cracked and raspy yellowish skin she had, the bright yellow eyes that contrasted her dark brown irises, all of that was mostly gone.

"To be honest, me neither…" you admit smiling proudly. Her skin looked slightly covered in scales, but the texture was soft. Like a snake that shines with a new layer of skin. Her eyes were still a little yellow, but the white was coming back.

"How did you come up with it? The treatment and everything?" you gulp nervously, sipping at your tea. If you opened your mouth, there would be no turning back.

Clemmie knew Snow had cheated, she swore to keep quiet about it. She knew about his exile. But she didn't know everything.

Then you thought you owed nothing to Snow. He owed you a lot, and yet, the way he paid was… cruel.

The only thing you were not in your right to share was about… the boy he killed. And as you'd never know he killed many more, Clemmie wouldn't either.

"He chose her. The songbird" Clemensia's eyes widened, she left the cookie she was about to eat.

"No…" you nod, confirming your words.

"Yes. During the games… he sacrificed everything for her. When I confronted him, he said nothing. After he was exiled, he committed a bribe to ensure his service as a peacekeeper on the 12" you spit with hate. The pride you carried each day, had a big crack thanks to that man, and like broken porcelain, it would never be healed.

"But he only had eyes for you… The Christmas after you arrived here, I asked him out and he said he had eyes on someone else. I can't believe him…" you giggle, rolling your eyes.

"He only had eyes for my money and father's position. He had the chance to win the prize and got obsessed with winning something by himself. The girl was just the cherry on top" You quickly added more as you were about to reveal he was… poor. Not because of him, but for Tigris and her grandmother. Tigris would lose her job and your mother would likely turn her down. So no, you weren't as bad as Snow yet.

"After he left. I realized how much he traced the scar on my face. I simply started hating it. And sooner I dreamed I had it gone. So I thought… Why can't I make something for my dear Clemensia and myself at the same time?" The black haired inspected your face.

"Your scar…" she remembered your face back then. The long pink line across your face. Clemensia did once see Snow caressing your face, his thumb traced the line across your nose until it landed on your lips.

Not it was just a memory as your scar. It was gone. Your face is clean, shiny, and perfect. Too bad that just your face was able to get rid of the touch of Snow.

You can't tell her he asked you to marry him. That was embarrassing enough to say it out loud.

"That's now the boy I knew. He had always been a little cold but… he was good. Now… I just can't stand what he did to you. And while I'll thank you for the rest of my life, you helped with my condition. I will ever feel sorry that you came up with it from such pain" Maybe before the bite, Clemmie was a little narcissistic. And her ambition led her to lie and get bitten. But now, she was all about being thankful and seeking peace everywhere.

"It's okay, Clemmie. Even after all, with Sejanus gone, all of what happened last summer… I'm happy that I have you" she smiles, offering you a big hug.

"Yeah, you won't get rid of me next year" She was officially coming back to class at the University after the winter break was over. Now Snow wouldn't be able to sit next to you.

"I won't mind…" Suddenly your mother comes out from one of the many balconies of your house.

"Girls! The stylist is here!" She lets you and Clemmie know.

This year, the annual New Year's Day will be at your house. The patio where you had breakfast and tea with your friend was already decorated with long tables. Porcelain plates are perfectly accommodated with wine velvet bows decorating them.

Clemensia's father talks with you about the revolt in District 12 and the burns he got. After that… more peacekeepers were sent. And slowly… the whole territory was becoming marginalized.

You ignore it, you only have eyes for the dress writing you on the other side.

When you open the door of your room, there it is.

A golden dress. Shinny and full of sequined beats. With metallic gold puffy fabric resting on your lower half back and ending around your wrists. Bare shoulders style.

You feel bad for not asking Tigris to style you, but she was already busy.

"I... I can't believe this…" you gasp, touching the elegant fabric of the dress. Clemmie can't stop saying how beautiful the dress is.

"With red lipstick and burnt pink eyeshadows… it'll look fantastic," the stylist says to your mother, already visualizing the look.

…

The patio is full of people. Elegant bonfires make everyone warm. Most of the guests look at your dress as you greet them. The last guests were Tigris and her grandmother, you placed them both in a table full of fashion contacts of your mother.

Clemmie is talking with Festus, Persephone, and other classmates.

Everything goes well until you set your eyes on the garden's entrance and you spot Snow entering.

Your eyebrows immediately frown. The night had been peaceful. And ever since winter break started, you haven't heard of him.

Why did he have to come? Was it for his grandmother?. Doesn't matter, you don't want him in your house.

He spots you and knows you just turned angry. You grab him by the arm and pull him away.

"What are you doing here?" You ask annoyed.

"You invited Tigris and Grandma'am" he shrugs.

"Yes. Tigris and Grandma'am. Not Tigris, Grandma'am, and Coriolanus" For the first time in months, you say his name.

"I have to talk to your father," he admits. You are confused, but he won't say anything yet.

"You look lovely tonight" You ignore the praise in his voice. But he genuinely believes you look astronomically beautiful. Snow was trying to act confident, but deep down he was nervous.

And it worsened when your dad interfered.

"Coriolanus. I'm glad you made it on time. Just an hour away till the countdown" you turn to see your father, offering him a glass of champagne. Neither of you should be drinking yet. But the elite of The Capitol was allowed to break the rules a little.

"No, of course I couldn't. I was just saying how gorgeous y/n looks tonight" your father smiles. You knew your father was believing Snow, that he was a gentleman.

"My one and only child. Perfect as always…" your father answers, putting his arm around your shoulders.

"I would like to discuss something with you. In private…" your heart beats faster.

"Be my guest, boy…" he tells him to enter the party. And as they leave you feel nauseous.

…

There are twenty minutes left till New Year's Day. Your father hasn't come out with Coriolanus yet. You nervously want to chew your nails. But you do your best for Clemmie. It was her first public appearance since the summer.

You had been trained to satisfy The Capitol's expectations since you were a kid. You knew what you could and couldn't do.

But none had prepared you to hide your shock.

"Dear guests. Family and friends. I would like to give an announcement" Your father appears, the sound of the glass capturing everyone's attention.

"With a new year around the corner, changes are too."

It couldn't…

Snow walked through the tables, towards you.

No, no, no, no.

"It is my pleasure to announce the engagement between Coriolanus Snow and my only daughter, y/n"

You swear you can't breathe.

You don't see Clemmie's face of horror. Tigris is highly confused. Grandma'am at the verge of tears.

"For my darling and her fiancé. Whom I wish eternal luck and happiness" your father finishes the toast.

Snow is beside you, he's not happy either. But he is the first one to start acting for the sudden flashes and cheering.

"How couldn't you tell me you wanted to get married, dear?" Your father asks, being the first person to hug you.

Your shock is so big that you don't even remember smiling for the pictures. You don't remember feeling his hand around your shoulders. You don't remember bursting into the house.

Snow follows you. It's empty, everyone is cheering because the countdown is about to start.

He calls your name. But you don't listen. He follows you through the kitchen and living room.

"WHAT?" You explode before being able to go upstairs.

You see his desperate eyes.

"I didn't know your father was going to announce it that way." He notices your face is red from anger.

"Listen to me, Coriolanus Snow. NO MAN will come and take away the pride of the woman I am." You scream in his face. You won't go quiet like the first time.

"YOU WERE NOTHING!. YOU OWE ME YOUR LUCK!" Snow can only fix his eyes on the sequins of your dress. He had never seen you screaming like that. And nobody would hear anyway.

"If this was your way to make me surrender and get me back. You're so wrong. Because you are going to be in debt with me for the rest of your life. Unless you want a rebel wife like it was your beloved Lucy Gray Baird." His eyes widened at your sudden attack. He has to process every word, every disgusted face you are making. He hadn’t thought about the songbird in many days. Hearing her names sent chills to his spine.

"I wanted this to be different. I had to "You hate him. You can't stand seeing him in his perfect grey suit, his perfect hair and eyes. You really hate him.

"YOU HAD NOTHING!. IF YOU WERE GONNA HUMILIATE ME LIKE THAT, YOU HAD TO GET ON YOUR KNEES AND BEG TO MARRY ME!" Whisking away, he grabs your hand, and when you turn, you find him on his knees.

"Please…" you feel he placed the ring in your hand. And it's too much.

You slap him. And then run away to your room.

As you lock the door, you throw the ring. And when tears start streaming down like a waterfall, you hear the first fireworks.

There's a bottle of pills in your vanity. The treatment for your low mood. You only need it once in a day. But you take two hoping it would knock you out and make you forget about the night.

It's officially a new year.

…

Three weeks later, Lucky Flickerman is interviewing you and Snow in his late-night show. You can't stand how Snow is caressing your hand. The way he slightly giggles and smiles at you, whenever there is a silly question.

You only do this because nobody knows the truth. Just Clemensia and Tigris.

"Sources tell us that it'll be a spring wedding. Is that right, y/n?" The man asks. You sigh, smiling.

'We're not sure yet, Lucky. There are so many details. Especially with my dress. But my man here is patiently waiting" the interviewer laughs, throwing a sarcastic comment about the dress.

"And what about kids? Is a baby on the plans?" Immediately, both of you blush.

"Yes. We want to have kids one day" Snow hurries to answer. You want to laugh.

He would be a terrible father. Some days ago, he was at your house for a family gathering and while he liked seeing you with your baby cousins, he knew he wasn't good with them. He didn't know how to play or make them laugh. But he had to make everyone believe he was a man of family and marriage. Even when both of you were still nineteen.

"Oh. Well, you're still young. There's plenty of time, pair of lovebirds" You make the strength to turn and smile at Snow. He returns you the smile.

And he wants to believe it's an honest reaction from you. He really hates that everything happened this way. He wanted to wait personally and privately ask you to marry him again. Not like this.

"Y/n… How did you know Coriolanus was the one?" It takes you aback. You can't lie. There's a truth.

"When I met him, he made me feel comfortable. He was so sweet and he trusted me. He made it hard for me not to love him. He has these gorgeous ocean eyes, that every time I see him I get lost in them. It reminds me of the kind boy I met some time ago…" Everyone feels emotional. Coriolanus is aware of the real meaning behind your words, and he can't help but honestly smile. He knows he realized it, but he couldn't bring himself to admit it.

"These ladies and gentlemen… is a couple in love!" Lucky laughs and points at you and Snow excited. And he says that he'll be back with the broadcast for the weather, he thanks you and your fiancé for being there.

"Take care, guys. Don't forget to invite me to the wedding!, I'll get some people inside to bring the news anyways…"

And finally, both of you are behind the set. You don't even glance at Snow. But he hurries to stop you, interfering in your way.

"I'm sorry. For everything…" you cross your arms.

"No. You hate me. That's why you keep doing this to me…"

Your assistant appears handing you a glass of water and a little plate of something Snow can't see.

"Here's some water and your antidepressants, miss" You blush and ignore the way your fiancé is looking.

As you walk away, Coriolanus only feels worse.

…

You stare at the public library. Now closed just for your wedding happening in a couple of hours.

There are white roses everywhere. Petition of your mother to commemorate Snow and his family. You hated it.

It ended up being a spring wedding. But a very cold one. By early June, summer would start. And for now, snowflakes still fell upon The Capitol.

"The dress is ready…" Tigris says, appearing on your side. She sees how you stare at the whole place with dismay.

"How could this happen?" She asks, wondering.

"My younger self would've loved this day. But now… is different" You didn't want to insult her cousin.

"His younger self would've also loved this" Tigris remembered how enchanted was Coriolanus for you. Saying that he made a rich friend who was so sweet. Soon he admitted you were gorgeous and delicate. Now forgetting to mention you only when Grandma'am asked.

"He's trying to get you back," Tigris adds. And you question it.

Ever since the engagement. He always reached for you. Asking how you were. The kisses on the cheek to greet you. Felt honest. But you doubted you would ever forgive him. Even if you ended up having his children someday…

"I know it won't change anything. But I'm sorry. You didn't deserve this…" the young woman lamented. After you confessed most of the things Snow did to you, she added that to her list. And slowly, Tigris had slightly brushed aside her cousin.

"I didn't. But what's pissing me off is the wedding night" Tigris coughed awkwardly. And you rolled your eyes.

"No, Tigris. It's not about the sex. It's about me having to leave my house forever. I refuse…" She relaxed.

Honestly, you hadn't thought about sex. You knew it would happen anytime after marrying. But you wouldn't give Snow the satisfaction to even give hints.

At least, your father suggested Snow temporarily move in with you in your room since his new penthouse would be only for Tigris and grandmother. He would sleep in your tub.

"It's a great place for a honeymoon. Capitol's north is full of mountains, fancy restaurants, and actual snow" Somehow, you laugh.

"Fitting for my new legal name" Tigris joins you and laughs, hugging you tightly.

You stare at the flowers, and the hundreds of seats, and you aren't ready. But there's a smile on your face. Because at that point you don't even care.

…

Coriolanus was alone. He thinks Sejanus could've been there. Annoying and smiley as always, but he would've been the best man. Chosen by him because there wasn't another option. But it's only him. Staring at his mother's ring.

Pure gold, a medium size rectangle-shaped diamond. Shining ridiculously in white and small rainbows.

You look just like your father on his wedding day.

Your mother was so happy. Spinning and laughing as your father danced with her.

Remember. As you take a wife, you are choosing a life partner. You have to remember every morning why you chose her. You have to respect and protect her. Give her a home, a warm place to grow old together.

Y/n is the perfect woman for you. She's so lucky to have you, my boy.

All of those things, Grandma'am had said to him as she handed the ring.

And now sitting alone in a room. Suit ready, in black, and very little gold details in the white shirt under. Tigris said it was going to match your dress.

Your father actually loved your mother, Coriolanus. Treat her right. That is the least you could do…

She knew. Tigris had to know everything.

Coriolanus wondered how you would look. A princess-style dress? Maybe velvet? And he imagined your face.

That's when he can't take it anymore. He cries. Because everything was going to be a lie. He cries because it could've been true. If only he had made better decisions. If only you weren't so smart that you discovered him.

He's a broken man.

But he grips the ring on his palm. Wiping the tears and deciding that he's never going to fail you again. As he knew you had never failed him. And even when you hated him, neither you would.

…

There are three mirrors. Your hands trace the shiny beats of your dress. From the strips to your breasts, to your waist and hips. The end was full of them. Combining gold, and even dark brown or grey. It was simple, slightly sheer. But extremely elegant. Made with crystals from your family's mines. Representative of your native District 1. Your hair is down, perfectly cut in that shag haircut you had when you were a teen. It fits perfectly with your veil. Also covered in tiny pieces of crystals that cover your head, to the tail of the dress.

You looked like a Capitol's bride.

And for some reason, you can't find the tears. It's just you staring at the mirrors. Accepting your doomed life.

As you open the door, you know there are already tears on everyone but you.

Clemensia, Persephone, your mother, and Tigris sob and look at you in shock.

"Oh my god, my baby. You look perfect!" Your mother cries, caressing your cheeks and sobbing. You smile at her, just that.

They keep talking about the dress when you hear a knock followed by the door of the room opening.

"Is there any time for this old woman to see the bride?" Tigris smiles at her grandmother, inviting her to join.

"There's only ten minutes left. Everyone hurry!" Your mother says. They exaggerate, only Tigris gives you one last retouch, and hands you the bouquet. With white roses and some lilies scattered.

She kisses your cheek and smiles deeply.

"It's gonna be fine. I swear…" and with that, she leaves.

Grandma'am only looks at you with love. She always liked you for his grandson. And she believed love floated around you two. For the record, she said it two weeks ago in a rehearsal you had.

"I knew it from the first day my little Coriolanus came home rambling about you" she smiles.

"And from that day, it always had been you, my dear. Even today… always saying you are the love of his life" Your eyes water. Coriolanus wouldn't lie to his grandma about something like that. He could lie about killing someone but not about something he knew would make her happy.

"He did?" You ask as she takes your hand.

"Of course. I know I'm old, and I can't tell he has committed some errors. But I know those blue always are so in love with you, my child" That couldn't be.

"Do you love him?" You won't cry. But you're fighting the lump in your throat.

"I do. Ever since the first day…" you admit.

Maybe you would always resent the man you were going to marry. But you would always love the memory of the boy you once had.

"Promise me you will make him happy, dear. He has so little when we lost everything once. Take care of him. Give him a family, that's all I ask" You can't say no to her. You just can't.

"I promise." She hugs you. And you swallow the lump, looking at the door.

…

The moment had arrived. The doors opened, the music started and everyone turned back to see you entering by the hand of your father.

Sounds of shock, admiring, and more are very low but noticeable.

For Coriolanus, it's only you. Your hair was like when you met him. The dress is so perfect. Your makeup too. And he promises to keep the image of you in his mind for the rest of his life.

He genuinely smiles. And you are feeling so confused. Could his grandmother have been telling the truth?

Coriolanus actually loved you? The way he had been smiling and treating you for the past months. Had he really been feeling sorry?

Would you forgive him if that was the case?

You can't tell because your father has dropped you at the altar.

You didn't even feel his kiss on the head and promised good luck.

You just feel Snow taking your hand. It's warm, even soft for his calloused hands.

And you can't turn to see him.

There are many people taking pictures of you and him.

Everyone loved the Capitol's Dream Girl and her handsome wealthy fiancé ever since the engagement.

When you last expected it, you are officially Mrs. Snow.

"You may kiss the bride…" you know he's doubting. But there's no time, so you stand on your tiptoes to kiss him.

It takes him aback, but soon, his hands find that damn spot, in your hips. And it doesn't feel wrong, for some reason.

You just see him and you realize he's your man now.

Neither of you can understand the emotions flowing at the moment. You like seeing him smiling at you like that, but you also feel sad. And he loves the way you look, he feels so attached to you.

In other words, both feel like it was real. But both knew the truth.

You don't dare to eye any of your family or friends as you leave by the hand of your now husband.

…

The reception was just as big as the ceremony. With the most elegant music, food of all kinds, and a varied menu.

Your husband has chosen to give the option of fish florentine, mentioning to you that his uncle used to get the best food from District 4 before the war.

For you, it was fried steak with three types of cheese and coated with mushroom cream.

There's a picture for everyone. You and Snow enter the party. Your father says a little speech about how much of a great marriage you would have.

You dance with your baby cousins. Lucky Flickerman was able to ask about your dress and possible honeymoon location.

You ignore your husband for the rest of the night. Only when the cake has to be sliced. It's a 5 layer cake, covered in white and very little baby pink roses. Snow and you agreed to make it white chocolate with raspberries and cream.

He cleans some cream from your cheek, and before you can even think about it, you laugh.

He danced with you but you only decided to hear his heartbeats, instead of seeing him. It made you understand that lonely days were over. But at what cost?

…

That night, you are already seeing the mountains and green woods covered in white at the top. You sigh, looking at the metallic silk nightgown. You didn't want the traditional white or pink silk gown. This was short, offered some cleavage, it shined in orange and pink tones when it was supposed to be lavender.

During the whole hour trip to the residence of the honeymoon, you didn't say anything to him.

When you come out of the bathroom, he's sitting at the edge of the bed. A dark grey robe on him and you wonder if he was naked too.

Ignoring him, you go to the giant vanity in front of the bed.

You try to focus on the plenty of assignments you'll have after the honeymoon. With less than three months before the next games, your water mutts had already killed a person. Gaul only laughed and insisted on you to feed the beasts with the corpse.

Little did everyone know that on the Reaping day, District 12 people would receive a tiny stain of liquid Mercury on their ballot. Within months of inhaling that thing, they would be sick. It was your revenge for the revolt in the mines that almost killed your father.

But for now, you can only feel his eyes on you. Like the first day of school. You know he wants to touch you. He wants to claim you as his wife. But he doesn't have the right.

So he stays seated, hoping you will make the first move.

Ignoring the way your heart beats, wanting to feel something. Your heart was blind, thinking you could make love with Coriolanus.

Once you have finished with your facial cream. You turn off the light. Only the balcony offered some glimpses.

You step between his legs, hands on his shoulders. The smell of tobacco leaf and vanilla bean perfume hits him, making him gulp. Unsure whether to touch you or not.

"Wait, y/n… Are you-… Are you sure?" He asks, unsure of what is happening. He kind of thanked you for turning off the lights. That way you couldn't see how blushed he was. After all, this was going to be his first time. After actual years of desiring you, he gets to have you for the rest of his life.

Then you lean, inches away from his lips.

" I don't want to hear you" and you don't say more, neither does he. In the darkness, he finds your lips and there's plenty of time to kiss you slowly. With wet sounds, your hands fly to his hair. Making him moan for the first time. It shouldn't be turning you on. But it is, so you slightly move your head, and maybe he understood, 'cause he started kissing your jaw, soon your neck.

He feels you pulling out the nightgown, and it's making him so fucking hard.

You kiss him again and he's free to wander across your naked body. Now his…

It's his first time, just like it is yours. So when he tries to touch you past your lower belly, you guide him.

Softly making him slide his fingers across your wet folds. You moan and he thinks it's the most erotic thing he's ever heard in his life. He knows you are skilled even when it's also your first time. He knows because of your timing, the way you swayed your hips any time you walked, and the way you balanced touching him and moaning at the same time.

Before you, he rarely touched himself or thought about sex. But soon after kissing you for the first time, he would hate himself for thinking how you would look underneath the Academy uniform.

And now, there you were, naked, taking his virginity as you slowly rode him. You swear he has to be big enough to be able to feel him and his details inside you. The pacing was so soft yet hard. Soft because of your slick, hard because of the pleasure.

All you could hear was his sighs, but the stars of the night were your moans and little yelps for him. No words exchanged, just the sound of your desire and his response.

And when you start going faster, holding onto him as if your life depended on it, he was over the edge to say it. But he couldn't.

Your first time should've been with him on top. Tigris said it was traditional. But he let you take the lead, and it was turning out better. You even let him paint your walls with his cum. You let him kiss and suck your nipples as he felt the last spasms of his climax, prolonged by the way you squeezed him.

Even with the silence, both of you knew. It was the hardest and best orgasm of your life.

…

At the outsides of The Capitol, there's an office. All University students needed to submit their petition to graduate two years prior to the ceremony. Gaul demanded you and Snow to go as soon as you returned from the honeymoon.

Now, two months married, you feel slightly lighter. You talked a little bit more with him. Breakfasts were quiet but peaceful. At the University he always tried to protect you.

The news was all about the wedding. Saying it was the event that officially marked the end of the war. People loved you and encouraged your husband to pursue a political party to start campaigns, hoping to win the presidency. As for you, rumors had spread that you were going to be the next game maker of Panem. Evenings were to study and go for some walks. And most of the nights you repeated the same formula. Ending up tangled in your bed with the darkness reigning.

You couldn't help but wonder if something had changed.

Coriolanus Snow was still cold, serious, a man of few but harsh words. But to you, he seemed warm. Like if fucking him had made him switch and now he was eating out from the palm of your hand.

Still, you still felt like the past was haunting you. With memories of the last games and the moment you lost your lovely blonde guy.

"It's done," Snow says coming out of a private office. The green tiles stop being attractive to your eye, making you blink twice to stare at your husband.

He's yours, just like you wanted. With his perfect eyes, perfect smile, hair, body, and dream life.

You sigh with relief. He had insisted on submitting both papers to soothe you from stress.

"We are likely to receive a letter next year. The woman said it was basically approved for us…" you nod. He offers you a sweet smile, that you can't help but reply.

He offers you his arm to take, ready to leave the office.

Lately, Coriolanus has been worried for you. The antidepressant treatment was over, but you were under pressure because you had created the arena and strategies for the 11th Hunger Games. People debated your capacity and ideals. And he knew that would stress you.

He was patiently trying to make you feel comfortable on his side. To make you feel again like you said in the interview with Flickerman.

"Thank you." You say to him.

"Of course."

After taking the elevator, you two are ready to walk out. Until there's a loud explosion near. You exchange looks with your husband, and as he squeezes your hand tighter, what feels like another explosion makes you and Snow fly away.

When he opens his eyes, the building is literally on fire. He reacts quickly, realizing there has been another bombing.

He's okay, just his neck hurts, but there's no blood. It's you who's worrying him a lot.

He calls your name but you don't respond.

Through the ashes and hazes of dust, he looks out for you.

A few feet away, you are coughing, lying on the ground.

He runs and kneels beside you.

"Y/n, please. Can you hear me?" You nod slowly, barely moving.

"I-can't breathe…" Snow sees how your nose bleeds and there are some glasses making your arm shake a little. The sleeve of your cardigan is drenched in blood.

He panics and goes into a full panic attack. Not even when he was in the arena and got hurt. He truly feared losing you.

"I'm taking you out of here" he looks around and notices there's no one around.

He carries you, doing his best to run out of the increasing fire.

"I don't want to die, Coriolanus" you gasp, trying to breathe. He looks down at you, now looking at the dirt in your face.

"You won't die, love. Just calm down and breathe" In fact he knows you could die. But he refuses to accept it as he finds the exit of the building.

There's chaos on the streets.

And in the middle of the disaster, he starts asking for help.

"Please… I need an ambulance for my wife!" He pleads to some people who seem to be helping a group of kids.

A woman listens and calls for a man.

"Help is coming, y/n. Do not close your eyes" The rush in him impeded him from crying. Because he was so freaked out.

"Mr. Snow, I'm a doctor. I'll help your wife get into a hospital" A middle-aged man gets closer, inspecting your face. You can't hear anything. Your eyes close by themselves, and you still feel so out of breath.

It's the sound of the ambulance that works as a lullaby and makes you pass out.

…

It's uncertain. But reliable sources said it was a direct target from rebel allies, a direct target to you. Because the next game maker needed to be erased from Panem before she could even start. Snow is shockingly angered. And he adds another point to his hate for rebellion.

"I won't quit." You affirm from the hospital bed. Your mother frowns.

"I don't think you're understanding the seriousness of this situation, y/n" she suggests, to which your father also nods.

The door opens and Coriolanus enters, hurried to inspect you.

"Are you Okay? The doctor said it wasn't that bad but-" you smile, caressing his shoulder.

"I'm fine. Just inhaled too much smoke. And my arm, but that's it" You show him your left arm covered in gazes.

He kisses your forehead.

"I was so afraid," he whispers in your ear.

And maybe it was all about your emotions after the shocking day. But you finally feel it. You love him. And the way he had acted since the engagement made you believe he could possibly feel the same. But you aren't sure.

"I won't quit. That would only give the rebels a point. I will make this games memorable. And nobody in Panem will ever question my methods" Your words shouldn't have made your husband proud. But it does.

"You're so right, dear," he says, making you smile nervously.

…

You are allowed to leave the hospital that night. And the whole ride, you have to fight the tears. You can't take it anymore.

As soon as you get inside your room. Coriolanus starts running the tub to clean you up.

You get on your knees. Your throat already feels as if you were choking. He spots you on your carpet, looking so vague and lost.

"Please, Coriolanus." He's watching you carefully. And by your face, he feels you are about to say something from the bottom of your heart.

"What? Are you in pain?" He asks scared, kneeling in front of you. You don't answer and that terrifies him. Until you do.

"Tell me you are in love with me. Just once, doesn't matter if you never say it again for the rest of my life. If you mean it, say you love me." Tears start flowing, your face turns red, and Coriolanus can't help but feel vulnerable by seeing like that.

"Because if you say you only insisted on marrying me because of the money, and my father's position… I'm gonna hate you till the day I die. For all you did to me and everything that could've been" he has to close his eyes. To not see you as a tear falls without a warning from his left eye. He has to decide. Is he going to break his promise? He said he couldn't love anyone again. But you weren't new. You were the first. She was the last.

Coriolanus wished to be your boyfriend soon after meeting you. And from waiting for the right moment to ask, he ended up ruining everything for his ambition. From believing she was different, that she was worth it. Ignoring all the pain he caused to you.

And until that moment he realized he had almost obligated you to marry him.

He already had what he wanted. The money and his power were growing, and he had the girl.

Crying on her knees in front of him. Asking him to end her pain. Just by loving her after all the pain he caused her.

Slowly, he reaches for your face. Your sobs became almost silent. Your heart was beating so fast. And if Coriolanus didn't speak now, you would end up having a second mental breakdown.

But he caressed your cheeks. And he traced your face. Where your scar should've been. New waves of tears fall as you feel what he's doing. Only making shut your eyes harder.

"Look at me, y/n" you can't. You're not ready to hear him saying he used you once again.

"I can't." You whisper, sobbing. He decided then to grab you by the waist. Being so gentle, made you feel like two years ago when he was still your lover.

He placed you carefully on the bed. Making you hide your face against the pillows, ruining the white satin with your makeup.

He doesn't care. He just wants to be honest. Real. He's still young. Coriolanus knows he can't live the rest of his life married to you, making you believe he never loved you.

Only you would be able to see who he really was. Even if he ended up having children with you someday. He would never love them like you.

He could be cold and his decisions would be considered cruel. But the only person on earth that would judge him was going to be you.

"Please look at me, y/n" he caresses your cheek, smiling softly. Slowly, you sit, facing him finally.

You can see your old and sweet Coriolanus with the smile he's giving you. And it only makes you cry and cry again.

"I love you."

You stop. Hiccuping, you look perplexed at him.

He's still smiling.

You know he killed two people, probably three.

You'd never know he sent Sejanus to be hanged.

You know he's not the best person.

You'd never know he had a letter he was going to send to you before going to District 12.

You know he caused you so much pain.

And yet you thought you'd never hear him saying those three words.

"I made you suffer. I ruined everything. You know what I did just by looking at my eyes. How can we love each other after all?" You shrug. Trying to control yourself and answer him properly.

"Maybe because we never got the chance to make it real." He chuckles, taking your hand.

"You know I also did cruel things this year." He nodded, having no right to judge you. He wondered if you did all of that from rage, for everything that happened.

"And I still believe you deserve the world, Capitol's dream girl…" he makes you laugh. Out of embarrassment from the silly nickname Flickerman gave you.

"My father was a bad man, and yet, he always treated my mom right. I can't promise I'll be perfect, but I will never hurt you again" You brush his hair. Dishevelling it in the process, making him look like a year ago.

"Promise me. Just you and I, getting each other's back" he says. And you know you'll go to hell for being with him. But he was the love of your life.

"Just you and I, my love" he smiles again.

"I'll make you First Lady of Panem one day. It'll fit better for your current nickname" you roll your eyes.

"What will we do with that much power?" He stares deeply into your eyes. You changed his hair, and he hoped he could still see the scar on your face. But it was gone. Just like the girl he met two years ago. So was the boy he was. But it was okay. Because he'd make you be like him. And nothing would matter more than you and him.

"Everything, dear" you smile. And feeling like teenagers again, both lean at the same time to kiss. Like it was the first time.

"Can I?…" he asks on your lips. You nod, hugging from his neck.

He kisses you finally. Soft, slow but demanding.

And you remember you made it. Your husband would have the power, but you just won control.

And for the next two weeks, during summer break, Coriolanus and you spent your days in District 1. Spending the days eating in the best restaurants, visiting museums, and swimming in private pools. Spending the nights exploring each other for the first time. He marked you his and you marked him yours. Watching the moon and forgetting about the university, moving into a new house, letting the past die.

Maybe the memory of Lucy Gray Baird would haunt Coriolanus for the rest of his life, but you were going to be there to turn it into haze. And maybe you would never forget the pain of losing thanks to him, but he would paint your days golden. He would be a good husband who would make it up each day.

…

The first day of your second year of University started differently. Coriolanus refused to learn to drive and refused to let you do it. But you convinced him it was okay.

You left home together. And arrived together on campus. Went through the stairs holding hands.

"Look, it's The Capitol's trendiest couple" Persephone, an old classmate from the Academy but also a new friend said. Festus, Clemmie, and other new friends were there, laughing and making fun of you and Coriolanus.

And you blushed. Abruptly stopping your steps. Your husband turned to see you.

"Everything is fine?" You nod, smiling.

"I just… This is exactly how I wanted to begin University last year" It made his heart clench.

"Only… he's missing it" Like a needle taking him aback, Coriolanus knew what you meant.

"He'd hate what we have become though" It's bad, but you laugh.

"You're right, dear" you agree with your husband.

"But happy for us…" he adds, and you nod. Grabbing his arm to finally enter the building.

Soon, two peacekeepers call you to Gaul's office, just like last year. She's not there. But there's a letter on her desk.

You exchange looks with Coriolanus. He tilts his head and follows you to the desk. Carefully, he grabs the envelope and opens it.

Students, as the summer ends, I hope you had a pleasant summer.

Congratulations on your success after the games, Mr and Mrs. Snow.

Given the circumstances of Dean Highbottom's death last year, I won't be able to begin with the preparation for the 12th Hunger Games.

I believe you two have gained enough knowledge to start without me.

You'll find materials in the backroom of my principal laboratory. You'll find it quite interesting.

Make me proud and you two will be the first and automatic option to replace me in a couple of years.

And keep in mind what I always ask. What are the games for?

Dr. Volumnia Gaul

No words are exchanged after reading the letter. Coriolanus only nods to you, agreeing to the message.

So you go to the principal laboratory. It's clean and the sound of different animals is the only sound inside.

There are two long tables, and it's obvious, that there are at least six corpses covered in white blankets.

When you pull away the blanket, you gasp in shock.

The corpses that were once humans now seemed a mix of animals.

Until you see what it is.

"Coryo. These are the corpses of the death tributes" You are shocked. He was also surprised.

"The mutt bite… transformed them?" Slowly, you nod. He hands you some gloves and a face mask

"Every year I end up creating something more vile" you admit touching the slimy skin of the corpses, turning dark and the human face blemished. Only a girl from District 4 had won Mags. A lot of people loved her. But the cheer wasn't very loud, thank you and your marriage.

"These were also the people who probably agreed on the bombs. They hate us, y/n" he's right.

"They need a yearly reminder that war is over. That we won and that you won't give up" You turn to face him. There's the anger and hate you disliked about him. But now you have plenty of reasons to agree with him.

"They deserve this."

"You're right"

He sees you making some tests to study the altered DNA and smiles. He was so fucked up.

"Don't stare, silly. Come here and help me. There's a lot to do" you say playfully. So he smirks mockingly and starts helping you.

"Maybe we could have some resting after this" he suggests, you laugh.

"Here? With deformed corpses? I don't think so, dear"

"Not here. We can go to the private ladies' room." Sometimes you made fun of him for having the kind of a pervert teenager. Ever since you decided to make up with him, Coriolanus and you were the biggest switching couple in the history of sex.

"Oh, my goodness. Can you behave for once, Mr. Snow?" You ignore him, sealing some glass containers with pieces of skin, fluids, and more from the corpses.

"You know what? Forget it. We haven't done it in the upper living room, or the library. Yeah, I can wait." Brushing past him, you laugh.

"I swear I will turn you into a mutt if you don't shut up, Coryo" both of you laugh. And Coriolanus feels happy. He thinks he has your back. He finally won.

He won the money, the fame, and the power was growing. And he won the girl.

…

It was already dark when you were done doing the practices at the University. Coriolanus helps you with your coat and bag as you make your way to the car.

"After you, dear" he indicates that you should sit first. So you do, and after you start the car, you turn to see him.

He has rebellious hair hanging on his forehead. He lets you brush his hair and smiles, relaxing after a long day.

There's time to catch your lips and kiss you deeply. Hands on your hips as usual and yours tangled in his hair. Even after brushing it.

"Do you think she'll notice?" He asks agitated, breathing unevenly. You giggle, fixing your dark purple lipstick through the mirror of the car.

"She gave us six bodies, but seven doesn't make much difference. Right?" He smiles too, even giggling a bit.

"I can't wait to take a shower," he admits.

"I can't wait for you to take me to bed after shower" Before you make it outside of campus, he kisses you again, squeezing your inner thigh, almost making you moan.

"Me neither…"

___________________________

Taglist: @sarnbarnes @user0440822 @poppyflower-22 @h-l-vlovesvintage @zxrcle @gloryekaterina @dakotali @especiallythewomenandthechildren @mymadokamagica @drvnkn-dazed

In my head… this was the wedding dress<3

[sevikasbeloved]

Sevika saying I love you for first time

Me 🤝 always making my characters say ily prematurely, this is right up my alley.

And I am co-opting her last name as Lanes idgaf

__________________________________

Poker night.

It was the Last Drop’s annual tradition, the one day out of the year when the bar was bounds more lawless than it was on a regular day, as in, anything goes.

Anything.

It was the only night where you could stab someone for looking at you funny or do an insane amount of drugs without enforcers sniffing down your backs for an arrest, no matter what it was, you could do it here.

Not to mention it was Sevika favourite night. She called it fright night - fitting due to the fact that this day was the first day you met her, and she gave you way more than a fright. (Wink wink)

Anyhow, today was here and Sevika took you officially as her girlfriend, warding off any fuckeads or creeps who assumed that tonight gave them an excuse to be toward to a woman like you.

She held you by your waist, her fingers roping in the soft material of your short dress as she guided you to her table. The barman who had the unfortunate task of being on shift tonight scurried over to your table like clockwork, handing out a glass to each person that sat around it - those people being you, Sevika, two old geezers and a young fella who clearly just figured out the rules of the entire night (safe to say he’d already shit himself).

As the barman shied away from the table, Sevika slid into the booth chair, assuming her position at the head of the table as you slid onto her lap, perching yourself against her thigh as you leaned your head against her shoulder, already dreading the boredom that was poker.

“Baby, don’t fall asleep on me tonight,” she whispered into your ear as her hands remained occupied with the cards she shuffled between them.

“I won’t, I promise.” You hummed, and that you meant, moving your eyes to focus on more interesting things in the bar,

Like, the drunken men who danced like sailors, unable to rid themselves of their sea legs as they smashed drinks around in the pint glasses, smashing them (full or empty) onto the hardwood floor.

“cheers cunt!” One of the men shouted, slapping another across the face, the scene making you struggle to suppress a giggle.

Turns out when you give people a free for all, they just get drunk and act like kids.

A collective groan from Sevika’s opponents gained your attention as you looked back to the table, the scene of Sevika already winning her first round.

You kissed the temple on her head, leaving the tip of your nose to linger against it,

“Good job, baby.” You whispered against the shell of her ear. She hummed, placing her hand against your thigh, gripping it ever so slightly, causing your lower half to writhe against her thigh.

The table looked over at the two of you in annoyance and disgust as you pressed another kiss against the side of her face.

“You gonna win another for me?” You mumbled, suddenly becoming interested in the game, remembering how horny she became when she’d win.

“What’s the prize if I do?” She hummed, grazing her nose against your cheek, already dishing out a new set of cards.

You giggled at the sensation against your cold face, grinding your ass back into the crook of her hip as a response.

“How’d you know that’s exactly what I wanted?” She teased, her hand wandering up your thigh, cutting close to exposing you to the rest of the table.

You swatted her hand away playfully, “only if you win, Angel.”

You could almost hear her growl as she pulled her hand fully away, readjusting herself in her seat, the motion of her thigh bouncing between your thighs almost making you take back your ‘if’.

For the rest of the match you could do nothing but watch, suddenly becoming infinitely more interested in whether she won or lost - even though she’d never lost a game at least since she met you.

One by one, members in the booth tapped out, leaving you alone with her and one other man, clearly determined to win it all.

Sevika was unshaken by his determination though, almost too preoccupied by you to even notice the fat stack he slipped into the pool.

“I’m getting impatient, baby.” She mumbled into the locks of your hair.

You giggled at her sudden disposition to the game, noticing how the lad opposite you had reassessed his hand, growing more nervous as she pushed her previous winnings into the pile without even thinking.

“Call it.” She said to the man, knowing she already had a winning hand.

“Huge bluff, I can see right through it.” He scoffed, beckoning her to play her cards.

You and Sevika both looked at each other, sharing a knowing smile.

“Tell the gentleman what cards I’m holding, baby.” She said aloud, looking over at him with an almost sorry smile, almost.

You hummed, leaning forward dramatically as you analysed what you knew to be the winning hand. You milked it, arching your back fully so Sevika could get the best view, feeling your skirt ride up ever so slightly as her hand grazed your ass.

“A royal flush, mister.” You smiled and winked, perching yourself back up against sevika.

She threw her cards down on the table and whistled for a barman to clear her winnings. The man stood up in a huff, storming off to a lesser stakes table, taking his chances there.

“Put that on the bar’s tab, everyone drinks for free tonight.” Sevika ordered.

The barman looked at her with wide eyes before nodding and scurrying off behind the bar, ringing a cowbell as he announced-

“Drinks on Sevika all night!”

The whole room erupted into cheers, some even coming up to offer their personal thanks.

“You’re too kind, Sevika, really, you always look out for the people!” One man said, a smile as big as ever on his face.

She barely heard the thanks as she kissed against your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

You turned your head, stealing a kiss for your lips before pulling away too look at her.

“Why did you do that?” You said, impressed by her sudden generosity to the people she usually doesn’t have a nice word to say about.

“Cause,” she moved you so you were straddling her, “I’ve got all I love and need right here.”

Your heart stopped beating when you heard that word leave her lips with full earnest,

“Love?” You repeated back to her, unsure if you heard it right.

She chuckled, revealing that toothy smile that made you fall for her in the first place.

“Yeah, I love you.” She said, almost breathless as she realised that was the first time she said it aloud.

Your brows knitted together as you lost any composure you had, tears threatening to spill in the busy room.

She held your face, planting a kiss against your cheeks then nose, chin and finally your lips, pulling away to say,

“I love you so much it hurts.”

You giggled, head falling into the crook of her neck,

“Sevika Lanes, I love you too.”

[onlyonetifosi]

Congrats little sis

It was a beautiful day in Baku, Azerbaijan, and the excitement in the air was palpable. The Formula 2 race was about to start, and I was getting ready to compete for my team, Prema. As I sat in my car, my mind was racing with thoughts of the race ahead. I was nervous, but also excited to show what I could do on the track.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on my door. I turned to see my older brother, Pierre Gasly, standing there with a huge smile on his face. He had flown all the way from France just to see me race, and I couldn't have been happier to see him.

"Hey, sis," he said, ruffling my hair. "Ready to show everyone what you're made of?"

I grinned back at him. "You bet!"

Pierre and I had always been close, despite the eight-year age gap between us. He had been my biggest supporter since I started karting at the age of five, and had helped me get to where I was today - a driver for the Red Bull Academy. I've always had a fascination for racing. I grew up watching him compete and win, and I knew from a young age that I wanted to follow in his footsteps. So, as soon as I was old enough, I began training to become a racing driver.

As the race began, I felt my heart pounding in my chest. The adrenaline rush was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, and I was determined to do my best.

As the lights went out, I hit the throttle and felt the surge of power as I hurtled down the straight, the wind whipping through my helmet. The track in Baku was a challenging one, with sharp corners and narrow straights, but I felt confident in my abilities. I had trained hard for this moment, and I was determined to make the most of it.

The first few laps were intense, with several drivers jostling for position. But I managed to stay focused and keep my eye on the prize. Soon, I found myself in the lead, with no one else in sight.

As the laps ticked by, I battled fiercely with the other drivers, jostling for position and trying to outmaneuver them at every turn. But I knew that my true competition was myself, and I had to stay focused and keep my head in the game if I wanted to succeed.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I crossed the finish line in first place, the checkered flag waving in the breeze.

As I crossed the finish line, I felt a surge of pride and excitement wash over me. I had done it - I had won my first Formula 2 race! And to top it all off, my big brother was there to see it all.

As I stepped out of my car, I was met with congratulations from my fellow drivers, including Arthur, who had finished in second place. We hugged each other tightly, both of us grinning from ear to ear.

I run trough parc fermé to Pierre who started congratulate me, and we shared a tight embrace. "I'm so proud of you, sis," he said, his eyes shining with emotion. "You were amazing out there, I'm so proud, you drove like a true champion out there."

I grinned up at him. "Thanks, Pierre. You're the best big brother anyone could ask for."

We celebrated together for a while, but soon it was time for me to head back to the pit lane and debrief with my team. Unfortunately, our parents couldn't make it to Azerbaijan to see me race, but I knew they were watching from home in Ruan, glued to the TV screen. But knowing that Pierre was there to support me made all the difference.

As I made my way to the winner's podium, I caught sight of Charles Leclerc, who was also there to support his brother Arthur, who had come in second place. I had become close friends with Arthur over the years, we had grown up together, since Pierre and Charles had been karting rivals in their younger days, and we had become close friends as well so I was thrilled to see that he had done so well.

After the race, Pierre, the Leclerc brothers, and I decided to celebrate our victories together, and I had a great time sharing stories and laughing together. We went out for a nice dinner, enjoying each other's company and swapping stories about our experiences on the track. I felt incredibly lucky to be surrounded by such talented and supportive individuals.

Later that night, we decided to FaceTime our parents to share the good news. Although they couldn't be there in person, they were overjoyed to see us all together and hear about our successes. They congratulated us on our victories and praised us for our hard work and dedication. They were so proud of us all, and promised to celebrate with us when we returned.

As we hung up the call, I turned to Pierre and the Leclerc brothers and said, "This is just the beginning, guys. We're going to go far in this sport, together." And with that, we raised our glasses and toasted to a bright future, filled with even more victories and moments of triumph.

[zergula]

Welcome To Lunestia

The date is 7600.

Humanity finds itself alive and well on the planet of Lunestia! With its gorgeous greens, purples, pinks, and white fields it is definitely different than Earth but almost eerily the same. After the legendary forum wars of 2025, aliens have fully become a part of society on Earth as well as Lunestia. Great advancements in not only technology but human evolution have improved life in the universe more than any being could imagine!

I fell in love with Risa's Lunestia and Meroze maps as soon as I saw them! It was really hard to choose between those two to use for this space world save but Lunestia's beautiful terrain painting and blend won me over! I highly recommend both of these worlds, absolutely gorgeous and incredible work!

INTERESTING CHARACTERS

Mae, Malie, and Una Verse keep watch over the renovated remains of the First Contact ship that brought all beings to beautiful Lunestia! Although thankful for the great honor bestowed upon them from their ancestors, these young beings just want to have some fun, sometimes!

The Goth family and Bachelor family fell into a wormhole in Sunset Valley and have found themselves farther in the future than they could even imagine!

Candy is a plantsim who is trying her very best to recreate all of the lovely plants from Earth! She lives in her underground lab and you can find her there or above ground tending to all of her lovely friends…uh plants!

Skyla Martial is a genius who has filled her home with bots that she treats like family but never stopped to wonder if she wants an actual family. Either way, the bots fill that void…for now.

Finally, you will find lots of beings from Oasis Landing and Lunar Lakes here: Amelia Loveland, Kel Gwyn, Harkin Shire, Fawn Lacey, Felix Finn, The Planesons, The James family, The Mosqueda family, The Su family, the Sekemoto Family, Eleanor Alto, the Castle family, the Star family, the Orey family, and the Landgraab Clones.

Around Town

29 Community Lots 62 Residential Lots

There's lots to do in Lunestia! Along with all EA rabbitholes, you can visit:

The Millennium Falcon Bot Emporium - A recreation of the Millennium Falcon from Star Wars by soocoolsim! It includes the bot emporium register, comics register, and a food register.

The Future Fashion Salon - - I have been experimenting with combining rabbitholes, registers, and lots on one lot and am loving the results! It saves so much room in town and I love how some of these rabbitholes/registers/lots work together! This is a salon and tattoo shop that includes the Elixir Consignment register, nectary register, consignment store register, and the Spa rabbithole.

Purple Flourite Museum - Art Gallery by Satureja13 that includes another nectary register.

Monsters Inc Stadium - a fun recreational park built by Hidehi for the Disney Magic Kingdom collaboration. The school and stadium rabbitholes are also located here.

Sapphire Ice Gym - by Satureja13 A small gym with all machines and martial arts stuff

Zephyr 47 - An old starship repurposed into Lunestia's favorite spot to watch the game, get some wings, and drink some juice with the old team! (shell by geminiagre, interior redone and converted to sportsbar by me)

Natatorium Pool - pool from Lunar Lakes

Laser Waves - A poolside club with lots of secret places to find!

Cosmic Ray's Bowling Lanes by Sandraelle is the place to be in Lunestia! A huge arcade with every game and numerous bowling lanes open at all times, all beings come here for fun and prizes, to grab some groceries, catch a movie, or have a quick meal at the diner!

Lunestia Library And Bookstore - a huge library with fun for the kids, snacks, the bookstore, and the Vault of Antiquity

Full Spectrum Fire Safety - by Waterheart197 - Even in the future, fire will still get you. Luckily, the fire safety beings here at Full Spectrum can help!

Bridgeport Acres Festival Grounds

Astro Orbiter - by soocoolsim is a fun hangout with a roller coaster, games, and snacks

Lunar Hub Casino - this is Lunestia's Live Show Venue that includes all casino games, giant performer's stage, nectary, and food register. You can find HOLODEK by Livvy1049 - a bright future lounge right next door!

Science Tech Center - bot emporium I built that includes the bot competition arena and observatory rabbitholes

Cube by Snowmoon - this dive bar is for surly beings only!

The MotherShip by Snowmoon is a little more inviting for the locals in Lunestia. The Darts Competition is weekly, see you there!

It wasn't long after Lunestia was discovered that the Space Buzz Studio by Hidehi was built! You can always see some of the actors rehearsing on stages upstairs if you stop by to tour the studio rabbithole (in the basement).

Crater Lagoon is the town fishing spot stocked with all fish and not too far from there you will find Oasis Shoreline Beach!

Don't forget to visit the crash scene wreckage! It might look like a junkyard but very important research is being done here. You can see the renovated First Contact ship from here as well!

OTHER INFO

In this download, you will find the world and 3 save files:

LunestiaCommunityLots - this save has the community lots only, no residential houses or other lots

LunestiaUnpopulated - the is the final version of the save without sims

LunestiaPopulated - this is the final version of the save with all households

This save uses Into The Future, Lunar Lakes, and all sci fi store content extensively but there is zero custom content. I have all expansions, all stuff packs, and all store content but if you do not have some of the items, the game will generate a similar item for you (but you may have to edit). The only expansion not used is PETS so I am unsure how the save will perform with Pets, but there is definitely plenty of room for them!

Because this world was just roads and trees, I ran into the same problem I had with Simarellen, which was sometimes the lots do not line up perfectly with the roads. Some of the lots may look diagonal or incorrectly placed because of that but I have playtested everything and have not found any routing issues. This world save does use the Into The Future elevators profusely so there might be an issue with some of the elevators not working as intended. To fix this, simply go into build mode on the lot, go to the ground floor of the lot, use the hand tool to pick up the elevator and then drop it, this will reset the elevators to go to the correct floors. I tried not to fill the world up with lots too much, but it was hard to choose with so many excellent options out there! You can always add more, if you like!

This took me longer than I expected, my apologies for the delay! Please tag me @zergula or #lunestia if you share any photos, etc I would love to see them. You can find my other world saves here: River Falls here: Simarellen and here: Kaodina

Happy simming and green plumbobs for all <3

SIMFILESHAREDOWNLOAD

[pixeldistractions]

Twilight fell over the fair and the game booths lit up with bright lights, colorful prizes, and upbeat music. The four of them each bought a ticket to play. The lane Charlie chose had a purple unicorn standing watch over it, taunting him. Win me. Take me home. Love me. It was the saddest purple unicorn in the world.

Charlie was not tame. Charlie built things out of scrap metal and a blow torch. Charlie kissed his girlfriend for the first time in a haunted house. Charlie was going to buy a motorcycle… some day.

It only made him throw the ball harder, which did awful things for his accuracy. He played badly, too much force, not enough finesse.

Benny won.

Maybe it didn't matter. Natty had so many stuffed animals they could have had their own room in the apartment.

"You know what I want," Charlie said. "I want an elephant ear. That's what I want."

They all bought elephant ears and sat down to overdose on greasy, fried, powdered-sugared dough.

Ingrid said, "Charlie, it's okay that you're tame. Actually, I find it cute."

"But I'm not tame," Charlie said. "In eleventh grade, I got three-days suspension for building a remote control firework launcher in shop class."

"But I bet it was mostly protocol. Your teacher was secretly impressed."

She was right. He was. "How about this. Last month, when my parents were in China, I let Gabby have some beer."

"True story," Benny said. "And she puked it up all over my camp chairs."

"But," Ingrid said. "You only let her have one and you kept an eye on her the whole time. She didn't puke either; she spit it out because she thought it tasted bad."

Ingrid was right again.

"Would you ever get a tattoo?"

"Maybe I would," Charlie said. "Maybe I just never thought of something I wanted to get. If you're gonna ink yourself for life, you should probably be sure about what you want to get."

"Eh, it's just skin." Ingrid shrugged. "If you want one, just do it."

"Is that a dare?"

"Always choose dare," Ingrid said.

— from “in between days, part 5”

(flashback to July 2085, 3 years ago story time)

Next ->

[brian-in-finance]

Prophet Song is Irish author Paul Lynch's fifth novel (Photo: PA Media)

Booker Prize 2023: Ireland's Paul Lynch wins with Prophet Song

The 2023 Booker Prize has been awarded to Prophet Song, a dystopian vision of Ireland in the grips of totalitarianism.

It was written by Ireland's Paul Lynch, 46, marking the first time he has won the prestigious fiction writing prize.

Set in Dublin, it tells the story of a family grappling with a terrifying new world in which the democratic norms they are used to begin to disappear.

Lynch said Prophet Song was inspired by the Syrian war and refugee crisis.

Reacting to his win on stage at the award ceremony in Old Billingsgate, London, Lynch said it was with "immense pleasure" that he was taking the Booker back to Ireland.

He added that the novel was "not an easy book to write".

The book is Lynch's fifth and he spent four years working on it. He started writing it just before his son was born and, by the time he finished, his boy was able to ride a bike.

Head judge Esi Edugyan said the panel "sought a winning novel that might speak to the immediate moment while also possessing the possibility of outlasting it".

She added: "In these troubled times, we sought a novel with a guiding vision - a book to remind us that we are more than ourselves, to remind us of all that is worth saving."

Before the winner was announced Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe spoke about how much reading helped her while she was detained in Iran.

She said being able to read novels from the prison's secret library "transformed" her life and the books took her "to another world".

The other nominees were:

The Bee Sting by Paul Murray

Western Lane by Chetna Maroo

This Other Eden by Paul Harding

If I Survive You by Jonathan Escoffery

Study for Obedience by Sarah Bernstein

The Booker Prize is one of the leading literary awards in the English speaking world.

The winner of the prize receives £50,000. The sum of £2,500 is also awarded to each of the six shortlisted authors.

Previous winning authors include Margaret Atwood, Hilary Mantel, Bernardine Evaristo and Salman Rushdie.

The event was broadcast on BBC Radio 4's Front Row and was announced on the Booker Prize live stream on YouTube.

BBC News

Remember… the panel sought a winning novel that might speak to the immediate moment while also possessing the possibility of outlasting it. — Esi Edugyan, head judge, 2023 Booker Prize

Brian’s earlier same-day Post

[unclevladscorner]

The Writblr Garden's Pumpkin Pitch Event: Sword of the Voivode

Cyril Valentin believed he'd left his old life fully behind when he ran away to live freely as a New Man. When a former suitor attempts to murder the entire ruling family of Vodomeria- including Cyril- he must choose whether to return to the safety of self imposed exile or journey home to face both his would-be murderer along with his estranged family. Cyril undertakes the journey into the heart of his homeland with his lover Daumantas- an ogre with secrets of his own. Dodging agents of the rival house Zhupensken, the two men have their fledgling romance tested as they navigate a realm in disarray as well as the secrets they've been keeping from one another. Cyril must find peace with his past as the Dueling Princess of Vodomeria and face the men who saw him as a prize to be won in order to restore peace to the realm.

Trigger warnings- Poisoning, transphobia, sexual content, sex assault mention (brief, non graphic), violence

Once his trading stall was erected, the oxen put out to pasture, and his campsite set, Daumantas and Cyril wearily made their way back into town just after the sunset. They made straight for The Drunken Whale. The place bustled with activity, thanks to a Felis bard sitting and singing songs at the bar. Dark gray fur covered his body and sleek feline features. His clothes were very fine for a traveling minstrel and his singing talent certainly paid for the fine cloth. Cyril couldn’t make out the words the bard warbled over the noise of the crowd at first. He could feel his hair standing on end when he recognized the melody-The Ballad of the Dueling Princess. Just as quickly as he’d walked in, Cyril spun on his heel and marched out. He nearly collided with Daumantas who’d been following closely behind him. He marched down the dusty lane towards another-any other- establishment in town. Cyril could hear Daumantas struggling to keep up as he rushed away. He caught Cyril’s arm and tugged gently to slow him. “What’s got you so upset?” “Let go of me, Daumantas.” Cyril’s whole body stiffened when Daumantas seized him in spite of the other man’s gentleness. Daumantas loosened his grip and Cyril’s arm slid free from his hand. They both stopped in the middle of the dirt lane. “It was that stupid song!” Cyril growled between clenched teeth. His stomach churned. He rubbed his hot face with his hands. “I hate that fucking song.” “…Why?” Daumantas asked gently, confused at his companion’s sudden outburst.

Cyril’s face screwed up in a scowl. “Because it’s about me.”

They ate in relative silence that evening at the Golden Oak. Cyril liked to come here when the Drunken Whale was much too busy for him to enjoy. Daumantas stuck to polite conversation through dinner. Cyril tried to perk up, but his mood fell hard with the sound of that song and he had a hard time recovering. The last thing Cyril wanted was to think about the past and that damn song pushed a lot of uncomfortable memories to the front of his mind. “Would you like to stay with me tonight?” Daumantas asked quietly as they strolled leisurely through the streets back towards the edge of town. Cyril took Daumantas’s hand and squeezed in response.

[chaotic-on-main]

☆\\ Where I'd take AoT characters on a date IRL HCs:

(may or may not have based these off of places I’ve been to before and things I've done. also every one of these are to be assumed to be over the age of 21)

↓ Marco, Armin, Sasha, Eren, Levi, & Hange ↓

➳ Marco

➤ I’d take him bowling

➤ he’d be very adamant to pay for everything

➤ he'd spend a lot of time trying to find the perfect ball

➤ offers to help me after my 5th gutter ball in a row, even though he’s not very good at it either

➤ with his help, I'm able to hit the pins at least and when I look back at him with a big smile after knocking down 2 pins, “Marco!! Did you see that?! You helped me do that!!” - he would get so nervous and bashful

➤ when he ends up getting an accidental strike, I’d give him a very enthusiastic kiss on the cheek

➤ His face is beet red for the rest of the night. (just imagine those freckles, I'm crying)

➤ neither of us break 100 points but we laugh about it anyways and applaud each other for trying

➤ we'd spend some time in the attached arcade after our lane time is up

➤ he's not very fond of the violent games but he did indulge me with one Mortal Kombat game in which I won purely by being the better button masher

➤ he has a lot of fun with the strategic games though, and even ends up winning enough tickets to get that massive plushy hanging off the wall behind the prize counter that I've been staring at the whole time

➤ afterwards we'd go get greasy food and milkshakes at the diner in town, 90s grunge music plays in the background

➤ I sneak my debit card to the waitress to pay when he's not looking

➳ Armin

➤ I'd take him to an aquarium

➤ he absolutely info dumps on every creature we see

➤ he refuses to let go of my hand the whole time as we walk

➤ at one point he just wants to sit at a bench and stare up at one of the largeest tanks in the building, and we do in comfortable silence

➤ he laughs at my enthusiastic behavior when it’s time to see the sharks and penguins

➤ a kid comes bounding up next to us and starts blabbering about how pretty the fishies are and Armin will lean down and start pointing to specific ones and informs the very wide-eyed child of what they are

➤ I'd watch him with heart eyes the whole time he spoke

➤ I buy him a little stuffed octopus from the gift shop (that his bed is never seen without after this)

➤ he gifts me a small necklace with a little silver conch shell, his face is SO pink

➤ “I-I got you s-something too.”

➤ we’d take a walk down in the park next to the aquarium which just so happens to be by a river

➤ the sun is just starting to set so oranges and pinks are dusting the sky and reflecting off the calm water

➤ we get an ice cream cone from a vendor off the path

➤ I’d get cotton candy whereas Armin finds delight in sea salted caramel

➤ still holding hands of course, and if I pull away for anything, even to get a napkin out of my purse, he whines

➤ the night ends with some stargazing on the dewy grass of the park, both of our arms pointed to the sky as we talk about the stars, our hopes, our dreams, and everything in between

➳ Sasha

➤ I'd take her out to a Brazilian Steakhouse

➤ she'd never heard of them before so the moment I told her the concept of the restaurant, she already had drool down her face

➤ she makes the cost absolutely worth it because she packs away so much meat

➤ We would laugh the whole meal because we'd talk about our favorite weekly memes that popped up on our social medias

➤ we’d go axe throwing after dinner to blow off some steam, which is just a short walk from the restaurant since we’re downtown

➤ she’s getting a couple bullseyes (not a lot though, they’re mainly accidental) and doesn’t hold back her laughter when I utterly fail at even getting the axe to stick

➤ when I do manage to hit the wood and it sticks, she’s screaming so loudly in praise that the people next to us are eyeing us with dirty looks

➤ on the way back to the car, we run across one of those city fountains that spray water straight up from the ground (like for kids but more elegant) and out of pure mischief I shove her straight into a water stream getting her soaked

➤ she pulls me in and then we’re chasing each other through the water while screaming in laughter

➤ we’re dripping wet by the time we make it back to the car but luckily, I come prepared for anything

➤ it’s 11pm by the time we end up finishing our shenanigans

➤ “Taco Bell??” “Fuck yeah.”

➤ our stomachs are so sore from laughing so much

➳ Eren

➤ I’d take him to a rage room

➤ I’m not surprised to see how much pent-up aggression he needed to let out, but he is surprised by mine

➤ everything in the room has no mercy between the two of us

➤ once he’s over the initial shock of “smol but angy”, we’re both cackling like maniacs as we beat the shit out of the car sitting in the center of the room

➤ “Is that all you got!?” “Not in the slightest, Jaeger, watch this!!”

➤ Eren pays for another 30 minutes us because we’re just having so much fun

➤ the room is a chaotic mess by the end of it

➤ when we’re done with that, we’d grab dinner at a pub just down the street

➤ drinks will be had, him a beer and me a fancy ass cocktail that’s stronger than his by a landslide

➤ we’d be having loud drunken conversations about something stupid, probably work related

➤ his cheeks are just so flushed as he stares at me rambling about something going on in the world

➤ “What are you looking at?” “Nothing of importance.” He smirks. “Fuck you.”

➤ he plays the loudest death metal I have ever heard on the way home

➳ Levi

gif by @tatakaeeren ↑

➤ I'd take him home (hear me out)

➤ we'd make a home cooked meal together, something cozy and comforting

➤ maybe it's a recipe that his mom loved to make for him

➤ there’s soft lo-fi jazz playing in the background and the sun is setting just outside the kitchen window

➤ he loves to cook, like me, so we'd work well in the kitchen together.

➤ it takes longer than the recipe states because I'm slow as fuck when it comes to moving around in the kitchen but he would be so patient with me (not without his dry retorts though and me shooting daggers at him, all in light fun)

➤ “Those potatoes could peel themselves faster than you.” “Shut up.”

➤ When chopping onions, I'd be a puffy-eyed mess but he wouldn't even bat an eye

➤ matter of fact, his knife work is impeccable, and I’d have him on cutting duty

➤ eating together consists of comfortable silence and meaningful stares

➤ after dinner, he'd demand that I go sit while he handwashes all of the dishes as well as wipe down all of the counters (which I do without complaints though I still ask “Are you sure you don’t want help?”)

➤ when he's done, he'll come over with some dessert tea and we'll watch a movie or show together snuggled up on the couch

➤ sleepy forehead kisses as I nod off and he stays up half paying attention to the movie

➳ Hange

➤ I'd take them to a science museum center

➤ it's one of those interactive museums with the water features and outdoor activities

➤ Hange gets so giddy at the chemistry section

➤ they’d spend an ungodly amount of time at the physics station

➤ the system they made with the gears and tools provided is way too complex for me to understand but I am proud of them nonetheless

➤ even though most of the science discovery museums are catered to children, they are the most excited and happy one there

➤ there was a moment where they almost pushed a kid aside to gawk at something, but I grabbed their arm in time

➤ I’d have to physically stop them from buying everything at the giftshop

➤ we’d get pizza for lunch (a little Unspoken Words might have made its way in this)

➤ Hange is rambling on about some sort of experiment they would have made had the science center had the resources, a wicked gleam in their eyes as they talk

➤ “I’m just saying, if they ditched the construction paper and used real, raw materials, it would be even better.” “Hange, that’s not safe for kids.” “Who said it would be for the kids?”

➤ we’d go for a drive around town for a while with the windows down and music is cranked as high as possible as the sun sets in the rearview mirror

➤ the shared playlist we made makes no fucking sense

[ts1989fanatic]

A world expert on William Shakespeare has compared Taylor Swift to some of history’s greatest writers – including the Bard himself – and said she is a “real poet”.

Scholar Sir Jonathan Bate, a former Shakespeare professor at Warwick University, said he believed the popstar is more than “just high-class showbiz” and has a “literary sensibility” that was apparent from her debut album.

In a piece for The Sunday Times Magazine titled Why Taylor Swift is a literary giant, he wrote that he had “one of the best nights of [his] life” at one of Swift’s concerts.

“Listening to her lyrics, which most of the rapturous (mainly female) audience seemed to know by heart, I came away with confirmation of a thought I first had 15 years ago: this isn’t just high-class showbiz, Taylor Swift is a real poet,” he said.

Sir Jonathan analysed how the singer has been inspired by the great English playwright but had succeeded in “rewriting his darker moments” to make them “more palatable”, including in her song Love Story.

He said he first spotted references to Shakespeare in that track, on which she sings: “You were Romeo, you were throwin’ pebbles/ And my daddy said, ‘Stay away from Juliet’.”

The academic called the hit an “almost perfect pop song, with its catchy hook, driving rhythm and ingenious use of banjo and mandolin”.

He said he bought Swift’s debut album Fearless the second he heard that song and used it to show his students at Warwick University how Shakespeare has been changed and adapted over the years. “That balcony, for example,” he wrote. “Try to find it in the original text. There is no balcony, only, ‘But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?/ It is the east and Juliet is the sun.’

“The balcony was introduced in the 18th century, most famously in a Drury Lane stage production by David Garrick.”

He also noted instances where Swift has alluded to or referenced Ernest Hemingway, Robert Frost and Emily Dickinson.

Sir Jonathan signed off the piece with the words: “The enduring advocacy of the distinguished critic Professor Sir Christopher Ricks eventually won Bob Dylan the Nobel Prize in Literature. I’m not sure I would yet go that far for Taylor Swift, but watch this space.”

Having sold more than 200 million records globally, Swift is one of the bestselling musicians in history. She is the most streamed woman on Spotify and the only act to have five albums with more than 1 million copies sold in the US.

ts1989fanatic

Now tell us something we didn’t know, every swiftie has known Taylor Swift is and always has been a lyrical genius.

[chicgeekgirl89]

Hello! It's nice ask week and here I am! Because of your ask to me, I ended up showing you my glasses upon the sweet face of my teddy bear. I want to know if you have any inanimate fuzzy companions in your home, either from childhood or something you got in your adulthood? A teddy mascots?

Oh hi!! I was very fond of stuffed animals and blankies as a child. I had sooooooo many! My dad referred to them as the “plush toy minefield” because I would throw them all on the floor when I went to bed at night haha!

I have whittled the collection down to an essential group.

Brenda- the now nearly faceless cat which was given to me by my 1st grade teacher when she retired (her first name was Brenda).

Snuggy- the white bear given to me by my dad the day I was born. He is the most essential and the one I would save in a fire.

Poppy- the brown bear from my grandparents. He is named after my grandfather who we call Poppy.

Sandy- the little cat. I saw her at the airport when visiting those same grandparents and had to have her. Naturally they got her for me ☺️.

Henry- the monkey. He is the newest of the group given to me by a friend in college. I was in choir and when we went on tour we had secret buddies who would gift you things. Henry was from her and I’m sure I had to do something stupid like wear my shirt backward all day or only speak in rhymes to receive him lol.

Big Bunny (not pictured)- I won a coloring contest when I was 6 and Big Bunny was the prize. At the time she was nearly as big as I was. She lives at my parent’s house and I sleep with her when I visit.

This was a fun little trip down memory lane! Thanks for asking!

[scotianostra]

Yesterday I posted about a little known about brave woman, Mary Helen Young, who died at the hands of the Nazi's in a concentration camp, today I highlight a lady who met the same end, I think most Scots have heard of hethis time.

Jane Haining, was born on June 6th 1897 near Dunscore, Dumfries & Galloway.

Jane was a talented and adventurous young woman who secured a scholarship to nearby Dumfries Academy and left as Dux of the school.

In 1932, she became matron of the Girls’ Home of the Scottish Mission in Budapest and dedicated the remainder of her life to caring and teaching girls in the school next to the Home. Responsible for some 400 children aged from 6 to 16 - predominantly Jewish children, many of them orphans - she was loved and respected by the students as well as her colleagues.

By 1940, as war spread across Europe, the Scottish missionaries were ordered to return home. Haining refused to leave, believing that her children needed her more than ever. She wrote: “If these children need me in days of sunshine, how much more do they need me in days of darkness?”

In March 1944, the Germany army occupied Hungary and soon began the mass deportations of the country’s Jews to concentration camps. Despite countless orders and entreaties to return home to safety, Haining was steadfast in standing by “her” children; when Haining was arrested by the Gestapo, she was the only foreigner left working at the mission.

On 25 April 1944, two Gestapo men appeared at the Mission, searched her office and gave her 15 minutes to get her things ready. She was taken first to a local prison for questioning. Eight charges were laid against her, including working among Jews, weeping when putting yellow stars on the girls, visiting British prisoners of war and listening to the BBC.

Haining was then deported to Auschwitz concentration camp where, as prisoner number 79467, she was forced into hard labour. Her last message to friends was a postcard asking for food. Haining survived just two months in Auschwitz, she may have died of starvation, illness or disease or been murdered in a gas chamber like many who became too ill to work. She was 47 years old.

The heroism of this ordinary yet extraordinary woman has since been recognised. In 1997, Yad Vashem, Israel's Martyrs' and Heroes' Memorial Authority, honoured Haining as Righteous Among the Nations. Her name is inscribed on a wall of honour in the Garden of the Righteous in Jerusalem.

In 2010 the city of Budapest renamed a section of the embankment along the River Danube – Jane Haining Rakpart – in her honour. And in 2019, Hungary’s annual March of the Living, attended by upwards of 10,000 people and marking the country’s Holocaust Memorial Day, was dedicated to the memory of Haining.

Closer to home, Haining was posthumously awarded a Hero of the Holocaust medal by the UK government in 2010, while two stained glass windows bear tribute to her “service and sacrifice” at her former church in Queen’s Park, Glasgow.

A Heritage Centre at the church in the village of Dunscore was opened in January 2018, and includes artefacts such as her will, her last letter from Auschwitz and a cherished book of wildflowers, which she won as a school prize and took with her to Budapest. A Jane Haining heritage trail in the lanes around the village takes in the stunning Cairn Valley scenery and visits the farm where she was born and brought up, her school and the church. Nearby is a cairn in her memory, erected by the community of Dunscore.

[devitalise]

Omg I really thought this would be the month I'd beat you to the punch with a check-in but once again time has evaded me & May is, in fact, over in a mere few days 🤥 I think I need to start keeping a physical calendar again to avoid these jumpscares BUT ANYWAY!!! MAY READS!!!! END OF SUCCESSION THOUGHTS!!! WHAT ON EARTH IS IMO GONNA WATCH & READ NEXT!!! 🎤

maybe next month you'll get me.. answering this a lil early so excuse any thoughts that aren't Fully Developed i'll just be away from my laptop and you know how much i love these

may book wrap up

in cold blood by truman capote

i can't remember what i said about this last month. maybe i'm the only person in the world who didn't know this was a "true crime novel" i thought i just picked up a fictional crime genre book. my mistake! general personal thoughts on the gross peversive nature of true crime aside, i think this as investigative journalism (with a questionable bias, fictionalised events, general capote tendecy to lie and gossip) i didn't hate reading it. i could absolutely tell how taken Capote was with Perry Smith in this, he kept coming back to reiterate details about his upbringing and i had to skim parts just because they were of little interest to me. i haven't read anything where the author has managed to so completely remove themselves from their writing like this before. took me a while to read it was a kindle choice and i struggled with reading this month.

podcast: overdue (really enjoyed this podcast set up, actually.) music: red dead redemption 2 soundtrack and this playlist

the piano teacher by elfriede jelinek

unlikable loathsome woman in Austria, this time. really dislike books like this, and this was barely any different. i think Jelinek as an author is neat, i see why she won a nobel peace prize, i'd love to be able to read German to get what was lost in translation. didn't love the story at all here. menacing and gross. what i found most interesting (and hated reading in equal parts) was erica's fucked up relationship with her mother. hate your mother hate the part of her that lives within you, etc etc. i thought this would be sexier, or at least just have more sex like the blurb promised, but other than a few voyeuristic encounters it lacked it completely. sexless and stale. a lot of men dislike this book, though, so if anyone asks then i absolutely loved it.

i read two reviews about this, both with opposing views to my own but interesting to read. music: this soundtrack that almost sent me to sleep. won't be watching the movie

heatwave by victor jestin

it got hot towards the end of last week and i could finally crack open this short little book. i didn't hate it, wasn't blown away by it either. apparently i don't read blurbs - another shock here! i think because these are books that i bought so many months ago when it comes to reading them it's like oh?? well. i was distracted and tanning and drinking gin & tonics whilst reading, and i think this needed more of my attention than i could give. or maybe that's just me being generous.

no links for this one. pending.

i'm currently reading bonjour tristesse by francoise sagan. i've actually finished it but there's two stories in one so i'm on A Certain Smile now. more french books, they're the only books i have set in the summer at the moment. i started reading it on the beach, too.

i bought some new books: season of migration to the north by tayeb smith, the thief's journal by jean genet, my father's diet by adrian nathan west, and diary of a film by niven govinden. i've been reading some really hard books this year (and have bought four more) so i'm gonna switch lanes to some easier reads. the atlas six and nightbitch are probably the easiest of the ones i own at the moment.

AHHHH SUCCESSION.

kendall roy....

i have mixed thoughts about the ending i think it makes perfect sense what went down with the siblings, it doesn't mean that kendall being betrayed hurts me any less. i'm emotionally exhausted after finishing it so i've been watching cooking competitions on netflix. next is the sopranos as my Drama of Choice

also i've been listening to the once upon a time at bennington college podcast you recommended! really enjoying it so far

[annarellix]

From Dark to Very Dark to Black

I recently read and love these three books. I’m a huge fan of Joe Lansdale so I couldn’t help loving this anthology.

S.A Cosby wrote the introduction ot Lansdale’s anthology and I love this dark story that caused me a serious book hangover

I think that Ronald Malfi is an excellent horror storyteller and Black Mouth was one of my top books of last year.

Below my reviews and info about each book:

All The Sinners Bleed by S. A. Cosby

Titus Crown is the first Black sheriff in the history of Charon County, Virginia. In recent decades, Charon has had only two murders. After years of working as an FBI agent, no one knows better than Titus that while his hometown might seem like a land of moonshine, cornbread, and honeysuckle, secrets always fester under the surface.

But a year to the day after Titus’s election, a school teacher is killed by a former student. The student is then fatally shot by Titus’s deputies. As Titus investigates the shootings, he unearths terrible crimes, and a serial killer who has been hiding in plain sight, haunting the dirt lanes and woodland clearings of Charon. With the killer’s possible connections to a local church and the town’s harrowing history weighing on him, Titus tries to project confidence about closing the case while concealing a painful secret from his own past. At the same time, he also has to contend with a far-right group that wants to hold a parade in celebration of the town’s Confederate history. Charon is Titus’s home and his heart. But where faith and violence meet, there will be a reckoning.

Book page: https://www.headline.co.uk/titles/s-a-cosby/all-the-sinners-bleed/9781472299130/

My Review: The audiobook of Razorblade Tears was how i got to know S.A. Cosby. All Sinners Bleed is a book that got me hooked since the beginning, punched me in a way that i loved and didn't want to stop being punched, a left me with a terrible book hangover. It's twisty, dark, a sort of southern gothic noir that deals with racism, prejudice and doesn't sugarcoat or hide any issues or nastiness that can be found in a small town. Titus, the sheriff, is a clever man who believe in what is doing but must also face the fact that someone is still nostalgic of the lazy and white previous sheriff. It's not a cozy or light read, there's dark humour and there's a master storyteller that keeps you turning pages. I loved it and It's strongly recommended. Many thanks to Headline for this digital copy, all opinons are mine

The Author: S. A. Cosby is an Anthony Award-winning writer from Southeastern Virginia. He is the author of the New York Times bestseller Razorblade Tears and Blacktop Wasteland, which won the Los Angeles Times Book Prize, was a New York Times Notable Book, and was named a best book of the year by NPR, The Guardian, and Library Journal, among others. When not writing, he is an avid hiker and chess player.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/blacklionking73

Things Get Ugly: The Best Crime Stories of Joe R. Lansdale by Joe R. Lansdale

In the 1950s, a young small-town projectionist mixes it up with a violent gang. When Mr. Bear is not alerting us to the dangers of forest fires, he lives a life of debauchery and murder. A brother and sister travel to Oklahoma to recover the dead body of their uncle. Edgar Award winner and bestselling author Joe R. Lansdale (the Hap and Leonard series) returns to the piney, dangerous woods of East Texas to reveal the best of his award-winning crime fiction.

Book page: https://tachyonpublications.com/product/things-get-ugly/

My Review: I'm sure Joe R. Lansdale  cannot write a bad or boring story. He can write stories that brings very far from my comfort zone, dark story, story where the dog dies or mix of all the possible elements. But he always write great stories that make you face the darker side of life.. And always add a pinch of dark humour that makes you smile even if you are immersed in blood up to your here. This is not a book for you if you do not want to read about the darker side of life or hate too much violence and gore But if you want to read an anthology of excellent crime/thriller/noir/etc stories be read to get it and start a wilde ride I thoroughly enjoyed it and strongly recommend it. Many thanks to Tachyon Publications for this ARC, all opinions are mine

The Author: Champion Mojo Storyteller Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over forty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in more than two dozen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies. He has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others. His novella Bubba Ho-Tep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. His story "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" was adapted to film for Showtime's "Masters of Horror," and he adapted his short story "Christmas with the Dead" to film hisownself. The film adaptation of his novel Cold in July was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival, and the Sundance Channel has adapted his Hap & Leonard novels for television. He is currently co-producing several films, among them The Bottoms, based on his Edgar Award-winning novel, with Bill Paxton and Brad Wyman, and The Drive-In, with Greg Nicotero. He is Writer In Residence at Stephen F. Austin State University, and is the founder of the martial arts system Shen Chuan: Martial Science and its affiliate, Shen Chuan Family System. He is a member of both the United States and International Martial Arts Halls of Fame. He lives in Nacogdoches, Texas with his wife, dog, and two cats.

Website: https://www.joerlansdale.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/joelansdale

They Lurk By Ronald Malfi

Five terrifying collected horror novellas newly reissued from the “modern-day Algernon Blackwood”.

Skullbelly A private detective is hired after three teenagers disappear in a forest and uncovers a terrible local secret.

The Separation Marcus arrives in Germany to find his friend up-and-coming prizefighter Charlie in a deep depression. But soon Charlie’s behavior grows increasingly bizarre. Is he suffering from a nervous breakdown, or are otherworldly forces at work?

The Stranger Set a rural Florida parking lot, David returns to his car to find a stranger sat behind the wheel. The doors are locked and there’s a gun on the dashboard. And that was when then the insanity started…

After the Fade A girl walked into a small Annapolis tavern, collapsed and died. Something had latched itself to the base of her skull. And it didn’t arrive alone. Now, the patrons of The Fulcrum are trapped, held prisoner within the tavern’s walls by monstrous things, trying to find their way in.

Fierce A teenage girl and her mom are in a car accident with another vehicle on a remote country road in the middle of a nightmarish snowstorm, which soon devolves into gruesome madness.

Bookpage: https://titanbooks.com/71528-they-lurk/

My Review: I discovered Ronald Malfi last year, loved Black Mouth and Come with and enjoyed this collection of short stories. Ronald Malfi excels at writing novellas and short stories: they're all well plotted, tightly knitted and there a beginning and an apex of horror that keeps you on the edge. There's different type of horror and all of these stories was quite terrifying regardless of the genre. It's a good way to get to know this author. Highly recommended. Many thanks to the publisher for this ARC, all opinions are mine

The Author: Ronald Malfi is the award-winning author of several horror novels, mysteries, and thrillers, including the bestselling horror novel Come with Me. He is the recipient of two Independent Publisher Book Awards, the Beverly Hills Book Award, the Vincent Preis Horror Award, the Benjamin Franklin Award, and his novel Floating Staircase was a finalist for the Bram Stoker Award. He lives with his wife and two daughters in Maryland and

Tweeter at @RonaldMalfi Website: https://titanbooks.com/creators/ronald-malfi/

[khaleesiofalicante]

I've been drooling over Lewis Hamilton's ig for the last hour and it reminded me. When we went to the ferrari world in Abu Dhabi my brother really wanted to go to this game show kinda thing called Fast Lane. The prize was that you got to sit and take a picture in the Ferrari F1. There were four rounds and four people who gave the correct answer first were selected and then there was a final round between them. Guess who got picked among those 4? ME! And guess who won the final round? ALSO ME! and i was 10 at that time and the other three people were adults so i was very happy. My mom ruined it by suggesting that i should let my brother have the pic since he was the one who wanted to go. Ofc then i cried and thew a tantrum and didn't even enjoy the experience. But still i got to sit in it for free. You need to pay otherwise.

GIRL THIS IS SO COOL AF WHAT THE HELL.

I NEED TO TAKE YOU WITH ME TO TRIVIA NIGHT (i love that shit)

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday!

In the 1830s, tomato ketchup was sold as a cure for diarrhoea.

People who play the didgeridoo snore less.

Your inner monologue runs at 67 words per second.

Your lips are 1000 times more sensitive than your fingers.

94% of Parisians live within a five minute walk of a bakery.

79% of Britons would be happy to receive socks for Christmas.

In Tennessee, it is illegal to share your Netflix password.

Pablo Escobar – once dubbed The King Of Cocaine – once started a fire with $2 million because his daughter was cold.

Because he was so poor, Picasso burned most of his early work to keep his apartment warm.

In 1966, the Procrastinators' Club of America held a protest against the War of 1812.

In 2018, scientists accidentally created a mutant bacterium that eats plastic. “Accidentally created”? Covid-19, anyone?

The world’s first nudist colony, founded in India in 1891, was called The Fellowship Of The Naked Trust.

Only about three in ten Britons feel rested when they wake up in the morning.

'Playing chess with the pope' is an Icelandic euphemism for taking a dump.

The most common book people lie about having read is George Orwell's ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’.

There is a village in France named 'Pussy'. People who live there are referred to as ‘Pussies’.

Brazilian prisons reduce sentences by four days for every book prisoners read and write a report on.

In 2014, a pine tree planted in memory of George Harrison died after an infestation of beetles.

From 1966 to 1987, Iceland banned TV on Thursdays to encourage people to go out and socialise more.

Hangovers cost the U.S. economy an estimated $220 billion in lost productivity every year.

Music is so influential on the brain, that the type you listen to actually has the ability to change the way you think and look at the world

No need to play Six Degrees Of Separation anymore. In 2016, Facebook found that, on average, any two people are only 3.57 degrees of separation apart.

Treating a wound with maggots can save a limb from amputation. However, almost 10 percent of people would rather have their limb amputated than maggots applied to it.

‘Lord Of The Rings’ was an act of procrastination. J.R.R. Tolkien was supposed to be doing some academic work but … just didn’t feel like doing it, so he wrote ‘Lord Of The Rings’ instead!

Giant tarantulas keep tiny frogs as "pets". The spiders keep the frogs safe from potential predators, while the frogs eat insects that could harm the tarantula's eggs.

In 2017, a Kiwi tourist was detained in Kazakhstan because the immigration authorities refused to believe there was a country called New Zealand.

Braess’ Paradox says that, if you add more lanes to a road, congestion increases. For instance, in 2008, a Houston freeway was expanded to 26 lanes, and travel times increased by 30%.

In the 1980s, you had 17 minutes to escape a house fire in the average American home but, because of the flammability of modern furniture, it’s now closer to three minutes!

In 1945, following VE Day, the crew of the Canadian HMCS Uganda were asked if they wanted to continue fighting the Japanese. They became the only boat in WWII to vote to go home and leave the war.

In 2010, a couple purchased an entire town (Wauconda, Washington) on eBay for $360,000. The town came with a gas pump, a restaurant, a small store and a four-bedroom home.

In 1874, Max Planck's teacher told him not to go into physics, because the field was almost completely known and “will arguably soon take its final form”. Planck went on to make enormous contributions to quantum theory and won a Nobel Prize.

When Bill Shakespeare, the first man to receive the Pfizer vaccine, died in 2021, one Argentinian news channel got confused and announced the death of ‘one of the most important writers in the English language.’

According to a 2008 survey of sex therapists, sex is too short when it lasts one to two minutes, adequate is three to seven minutes, and desirable is seven to 13 minutes. If you’re still going at 30 minutes, most people will think it’s too long.

A hospital in Toulon, France had to be evacuated when an 88-year-old man turned up with a World War I bomb lodged in his anal passage! It was an eye-watering 18cm long and 9cm wide. The patient made a full recovery, after it was surgically removed.

In 2014, a man in China bought a first class ticket on China Eastern Airlines. He cancelled the ticket and re-booked for a different day over 300 times. The reason? So, he could eat free in the VIP lounge on each of those days.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.