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joelscoffeemachine · 4 months ago

Text

Forget

Joel Miller x f!reader

word count: 5.4k

Summary: After waking up from what felt like the best night ever, you wanted to figure out what Joel’s thoughts about what was going on, were.

Warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, Joel acting like a total jerk, language, unprotected piv, pet names, reader uses feminine pronouns, jackson era!Joel, slight fluff towards the end, arguing, angst, no use of Y/N, apologies if anything was missed.

please read A/N: guys, i tried so freaking hard to like this, but i just can’t. so, i am so sorry if you feel the same way as me. i really tried my hardest. i’m not sure if i want this to be the last part, but i can kinda feel it going towards that route, so im going to say this once, thank you so much for all the support for this mini series. i couldn’t be more grateful. thank you. and once again, i am so fucking sorry if you don’t like this. please don’t hate me. 🤗 oh, and also, ntm on the photos not matching, honestly could careless ab the damn photos.

part one part two

Joel couldn’t get a wink of sleep last night, the feeling of you being so close to him, in his arms, feeling your warm body against his, having your scent fill his nose, all of it was too much.

Every time he closed his eyes, memories of your shared night and the warmth of your touch would flood his mind, making his heart race. The moonlight filtering through the curtains enveloped a soft glow on your face, making you look even more serene and beautiful, which only added to his restless thoughts.

He laid there for a couple more hours, listening to your breathing, the way you’d mutter in your sleep, the little sounds that would escape you. Each breath you took seemed to synchronize with his heartbeat, creating a rhythm that was both comforting and unsettling. But he knew he had to leave. He knew he couldn’t stay because what was this?

What were you two?

The uncertainty gnawed at him, and the fear of crossing a line that could change everything between you both was overwhelming.

So, he eventually slid out of your bed, picking up his clothes and getting dressed. He moved quietly, trying not to wake you, stealing one last glance at your peaceful face before slipping out the door.

As he walked away, the cool night air hit him, a slight contrast to the warmth he had just left behind. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions, but he knew he needed to figure out what this meant for both of you.

—

You blinked your eyes open, the sun shining through the crack of your curtains into your room. The sheets of your bed hugged your body perfectly, stretching your arms out with a yawn.

You expected to feel a big and warm body, but you didn’t.

You just felt the ruffled-up blanket. The familiar warmth and comfort were missing, replaced by a cold emptiness that made you shiver slightly.

You turned your body, nothing. No one. He left. You glanced at the alarm clock on your bedside table, the bright red numbers glaring at you.

With it being the ass crack of dawn, you’d be expecting him to be waking up now.

Did he leave last night? You asked him to stay.

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks, and a wave of disappointment washed over you. You replayed the moments of the previous night in your head, trying to understand why he would leave without a word.

You sat up, confusion taking over your features. For some odd reason, your heart felt heavy. You wanted him to be there when you woke up. You needed him too because now that he wasn’t, was it even real?

The questions swirled in your mind, each one adding to the ache in your chest. The silence of the room seemed to echo the emptiness you felt inside.

You stood up, not bothering to put on the old bra and shirt from last night, turning the shower on as you pulled your panties off, hopping in. The warm water cascaded over you, but it did little to wash away the sense of loss and confusion. You hoped the shower would clear your mind, letting the water run down your face.

But it didn’t.

The shower didn’t work. You couldn’t get the situation off your mind. You couldn’t get him off your mind. It couldn’t have been real, but the faint memory of him running his rough fingers down your skin, the way he felt inside of you, stayed in your mind. The sensation was so vivid, it was almost as if you could still feel his touch, haunting you with every passing second.

You needed to see him. To talk to him. You prayed he wasn't anywhere but his house. The first place you could expect him to be was his house. So, you found yourself there. The walk to his place felt like an eternity, each step heavy with anticipation. Your heart pounded in your chest as you approached his door.

Softly banging on the door, no answer. Peeking through the window, no sight.

“Fucking Joel.” You whisper breathily. How fucking surprising was that. Joel Miller finally left his house.

For a second there your heart dropped, praying that he didn’t get patrol duty.

Goddamn it. I mean you could wait, but you didn’t want to.

You didn’t want to go back home, so you didn’t, knuckles bruising as you hit them against the door. The pain shot through your hand, but it was nothing compared to the turmoil inside you. Still no fucking answer. You stepped back and glanced up at the house, looking for a way to get in.

No way in from the front, window was shut tightly, curtains drawn as if to shut out the world.

So, like any sane person who was looking for a — friend, you walked towards the back to maybe get in from the patio door. But that’s when you heard it.

Sweet music, fingers strumming away at the strings from what sounds like a guitar, and sweet, and quiet humming. The melody was hauntingly beautiful, calming to the chaos in your mind.

You poked your head around the corner, Joel sitting in a plastic, white chair, guitar in hands. He nodded his head softly as he felt the music, eyes closed, and body relaxed with a cup of coffee on the small table next to him.

The steam from the coffee rose in gentle spirals, mingling with the early morning mist.

His foot tapped lightly in rhythm with the music, completely unaware of your presence.

You felt stupid. You almost broke into his fucking house all because he was unable to hear the damn knocking.

You slowly stepped onto the wood, your sneakers making a loud noise that made Joel stop playing. The sound echoed in the stillness, shattering the tranquility.

He looked you up and down, setting his guitar down with no words spoken. The silence between you hung heavy, like a thick fog that neither of you could see through.

Joel's eyes, usually so full of warmth, seemed distant as they locked onto yours. The early morning sun cast long shadows, and the gentle breeze carried the scent of dew and freshly cut grass. You could hear the faint rustling of leaves in the background, the weight of unspoken words pressed down on you, making it hard to breathe.

You let out a quiet ‘hey’, smile slightly upside down as you leaned on the railing of the patio. Your eyes were basically inviting him over, so he obliged, grabbing his coffee, and standing beside you, a gap in between.

It was pretty much awkward. It was clear he didn’t forget about the activities from last night.

“I’ve been knocking.” Your voice breaking the silence, looking at him, but he avoided your gaze.

“I’ve been here all mornin’, didn’t hear it.”

"Something on your mind?" You knew exactly what was on his mind, but you thought, if you pushed it, maybe this moment wouldn’t be so goddamn awkward.

Each second of silence stretching longer than the last.

"Nothin’ on my mind," he replied, lifting the cup up to his lips, taking a light sip.

The steam from his coffee curled up into the air, mingling with the tension that seemed almost palpable between you. His eyes, though momentarily hidden behind the rim of the cup, betrayed his true thoughts.

His eyes, dark and guarded, flickered over to you. There was a heaviness in his gaze, a storm of unsaid words and pent-up emotions swirling just beneath the surface.

His expression unreadable, before letting out a quiet, almost resigned sigh. The sound was barely audible, yet it echoed in the stillness, amplifying the tension that crackled in the air like static electricity.

He wanted you to say something. He wanted you to just be honest and tell him exactly how you felt about last night, why you were there, if you even remotely felt what he did.

Instead, you were both standing there, avoiding each other’s gazes like idiots.

Your heart raced; each beat a reminder of the words you were too afraid to speak. His sigh lingered in the air, a silent plea for you to break the cycle, to reach out and bridge the gap that seemed to widen with every passing moment.

"You gonna invite me in, or are you just gonna stand there?" You point lazily at the door.

Joel huffed a laugh, tilting his head slightly as he finally looked at you. “You’re being pushy today, ain’t ya?”

He was being a smartass, and he knew it, but it was his way of deflecting whatever the hell happened last night, and the way you were acting this morning.

The gesture is casual, almost dismissive, but your heart is going crazy. The morning sun filters through the trees, putting a warm glow on the porch where you both stand. His eyes flicker to the door and then back to you, a moment of hesitation that feels like an eternity.

His eyes sparkled with a mix of amusement and challenge, the corners of his mouth quirking up in a smirk that was all too familiar. The morning light radiating a golden halo around his figure, highlighting the lines of tension in his posture that belied his casual tone.

His eyes never left yours, a silent dare for you to cross the threshold and face whatever lay beyond.

As you stood there, you knew that stepping through that door meant more than just entering his home—it meant confronting the emotions and the history that had brought you to this moment.

He shifts his weight, the creak of the wooden floorboards echoing in the quiet day.

He finally turned away from the railing, his movements deliberate and measured, as if each step was a calculated effort to maintain his composure.

He held the door open for you with his empty hand, the gesture both an invitation and a challenge.

You looked around at the nicely decorated house as you stepped into the kitchen, Joel close behind you.

The place was immaculate, with tasteful decor that felt both homey and sophisticated. You leaned against the marble island, the cool surface grounding you as you watched his every move. He stood in front of you, his presence filling the room in a way that made it hard to breathe.

“Why didn’t you stay?” you asked, your voice cutting through the silence like a knife.

You wanted to know so badly that you basically said, ‘fuck the small talk, tell me why.’ You were so straightforward, the words spilling out before you could second-guess them.

Joel’s face remained impassive, his expression a mask of cold-stone indifference. His arms were crossed over his chest, a defensive posture that only added to the distance between you. His eyes, usually so expressive, were unreadable, and for a moment, you wondered if you’d ever get through to him. The tension in the room was evident, a silent battle of wills as you waited for him to break the silence.

He took a moment as he leaned on the counter, taking in your words. He wasn’t really sure how he was supposed to answer.

A part of him, a huge part of him, did want to stay. He wanted to hold your warm body, bask in your sleepy scent, and hear your soft breath hit his neck. But he knew he couldn’t.

He didn’t know what last night was. Why you let him come to you, why you let him touch you the way he wanted to for so long.

"Well?" You push, head tilting, your gaze unwavering.

The intensity in your eyes matched the urgency in your voice, demanding a response from him.

"I don’t know. Okay? I don’t know." He finally let out, throwing his hands up, frustration settling on his face.

The rawness in his voice cut through the air, his eyes burning with a mix of confusion and helplessness.

You threw your head back at his answer, arms falling to your side as you turned around, elbows on the counter, holding your head up as you groaned. The cool surface of the counter did little to soothe the storm inside you. You felt the frustration bubbling over, the unanswered questions and the emotional tumult taking their toll.

He was frustrated for a number of reasons. Mainly because he had no idea how to act in front of you now. The lines between you had blurred, and he was grappling with the new reality, unsure of where he stood. But most of all, because you wanted an explanation for something he didn’t even understand himself.

"What is this?" He questioned, looking up at you, his arms crossed against his chest. His voice was edged with exasperation.

"You just come over here to get on my ass?" His words hung in the air, a challenge and a plea wrapped into one, as he tried to make sense of the chaotic emotions twirling around both of you.

You leaned up instantly, your body closer to his. The heat of his breath mingled with yours, creating an almost suffocating intimacy. Your eyes locked onto his, searching for a glimmer of understanding, something to bridge the chasm between you.

"No, I came here so I could understand you. But that’s never happening, is it?" Your voice was low, but the intensity of your words cut through the silence like a knife.

You could feel the tension radiating off him, the anger and disbelief that mirrored your own. The proximity made it impossible to ignore the raw emotions.

“Not when you’re acting like this.” He muttered, his voice strained, barely above a whisper.

The words were a thin veil over the tumultuous emotions roiling just beneath the surface, a desperate attempt to regain some semblance of control in a situation that felt increasingly out of hand.

Your bodies touched as you leaned closer, he was basically pressed up against you as you looked up at him, his chest rising and falling with a deep breath. The warmth of his body seeped into yours, creating an electric tension that was impossible to ignore.

He tried to keep his composure. He tried to not look at you like some piece of meat. He tried not to think about how close you were, how he could easily shove you down on this counter, or up against a wall. His mind raced with conflicting thoughts, the struggle to maintain control evident in the tightness of his jaw and the flicker in his eyes.

But you weren’t making it easy. The intensity of your gaze, the proximity, the noticeable tension—it all made it nearly impossible for him to think straight.

At this point, this man was just stressing you out. You came to the conclusion that he was just trying to forget whatever happened last night, just like you tried forgetting what happened in the stables, but now you’re glad you didn’t, but for what? Look how he’s acting now.

“Joel, you’re really just gonna act like last night meant nothing? You’re just going to move on with life after that?” Your voice was sharp, each word laced with the hurt and confusion you felt.

Your words struck him like a damn brick. Because yes, that is what he was going to do. He was just going to act like last night wasn’t the best goddamn night of his life.

“That’s what you did.” He remarked, his tone cold and detached.

His words hit you like a punch to the gut, the accusation clear.

He was right.

But you were standing right in front of him, and he could still hear the way you were moaning his name, a sound that echoed in his mind, driving him crazy.

He could still taste your lips, the sweetness lingering on his tongue, a reminder of the passion you shared. He could still smell you on him, your scent enveloping him, making it impossible to forget even if he tried.

You had no idea what to say. You weren’t going to deny it, because you do remember pushing him away, remember drinking to forget. All you could do was go along with it, even though it was going to hurt.

“Fine—“ Your voice cracked, strangled back deep in your throat. You cleared it as you spoke again. “It never happened. None of it.”

The words felt like knives in your mouth, each one cutting deeper into the fragile remnants of what you both shared. You could feel the weight of the silence that followed, a suffocating blanket that threatened to choke the last bit of resolve you had left. His eyes bore into yours, searching for a sign, any indication that you didn’t mean what you said.

But he wants to forget so fucking badly. Maybe you do too. Or maybe it’s meant to be this way.

Joel isn’t supposed to be knee-deep in your pussy. He’s supposed to be your best friend’s husband’s brother. Nothing else. It’s so simple.

Just forget. Just let it be like how it was before that day in the stables.

So, so, so, so simple.

He nodded. “Yeah.”

But you both knew it was all bullshit. He wasn’t the same man after he got a taste of you. And by the look you kept giving him, you weren’t the same either.

It’ll be forgotten. For now, at least. He won’t look at you with hungry eyes, you won’t look at him with a hopeful look.

“You should probably get going.” He muttered.

His voice was barely above a whisper, the words heavy with unspoken regret. The tension a suffocating fog that clung to every breath you took.

“Yeah.” You say quietly. You gathered yourself up, leading yourself to the front door with Joel behind you once again. None of this felt real. You felt like you were floating on your way to the door, your hands clasped together to avoid them shaking, your breath shortened.

As you turned to leave, the memories of that day in the stables flooded your mind—the way his hands had felt on your skin, the way his breath had mingled with yours. It had been a moment of raw, unfiltered passion, a moment that had changed everything.

Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat echoing the finality of his words. You forced yourself to nod, swallowing the lump in your throat.

You reached the door and paused, your hand hovering over the handle. You wanted to say something, anything, to break the silence, but the words wouldn’t come—

You can’t fucking do this.

You spun back so fast; Joel couldn’t even react. Your lips caught his, arms wrapping around his neck as he eased in closer to you. His initial surprise quickly melted away, and he returned the kiss with a fervor that matched your own. The world outside ceased to exist; it was just the two of you in that moment, lost in a whirlwind of pent-up emotions.

His hands found your waist, pulling you closer as if he needed to feel every inch of you against him. The kiss deepened, becoming more desperate and passionate, a silent conversation of everything you both had been holding back.

You could feel the heat radiating from his body, his heartbeat syncing with yours in a chaotic rhythm.

When you finally broke apart, gasping for air, his forehead rested against yours. His eyes searched yours, filled with a mixture of longing and uncertainty.

“What are we doing?” he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion.

You didn’t have an answer, but in that moment, it didn’t matter. You both knew that whatever came next, it would be something you’d face together.

He shouldn’t give in, he really shouldn’t. He should push you away and make you leave.

But then he pulled you in again.

His hands were gripping you, and he was melting into the kiss. His self-respect was crumbling with every passing second, the warmth of your body against his breaking down his defenses.

He wanted this. More than he could admit, even to himself.

The taste of your lips, the feel of your body so close to his, it was overwhelming. He surrendered to the moment. All the reasons why this was a bad idea faded away, leaving only the undeniable truth that he wanted you, needed you, in that moment more than anything else.

You quickly pulled the brown t-shirt off from his body, hands instantly gliding down the skin. His muscles tensed under your touch, sending shivers through his body.

He stumbled to the living room, lips still together, throwing himself on the couch. You slid your white top off before sitting on his lap, his semi-hard cock that hid in his pants, pressing up against your clothed entrance in the best way, causing a delicious friction that made you both gasp.

He moved his fingers to unclasp your bra, the fabric falling away with ease. Finally, pulling away, his eyes darkened with desire as he took in the sight of you, he lent kisses to both your nipples, his mouth warm and wet against your sensitive skin. He then moved to suck and bite at the tender skin on your neck, leaving a trail of fire in his wake.

Your breath was ragged, hands in his hair, pulling his head closer, needing more of his touch.

“G-God.” You whimpered, furrowing your eyebrows from the pleasure.

The sensations were too much, each touch, each kiss sending waves of ecstasy through your body. His name escaped your lips like a prayer, a desperate plea for more, as you felt yourself getting lost in the intensity of the moment.

He could hardly keep up.

His head was spinning from the taste of you, from the way you felt in his arms. From the noises you were making as he gently bit around your chest, the soft whimpers and gasps that drove him wild. He was trying his best not to just rip the rest of your clothes off and fuck you on the couch like some sex toy. But he somehow managed to maintain a certain level of patience, his grip on control tenuous at best.

He pressed kisses up your neck, breathing hot air into your skin, each exhale sending shivers down your spine.

“I swear, you’re gonna be the damn death of me,” he murmured, his voice rough with desire.

His hands roamed your body, tracing every curve, every line, as if trying to memorize the feel of you. The tension between you was electric, each touch, each kiss heightening the anticipation, the need for more.

You let out a breathy chuckle, body shuddering. You reached your hands in between both of your bodies, fingers working on unzipping his fly. When you finally got it, he lifted your body up, pants pushed down just above his knees.

His weeping tip grazed over your belly button, pre-cum rolling down onto his thighs, glistening in the dim light.

You stood up for a moment, easily taking your pants off, along with your panties, and throwing them on the coffee table. The grunt that left his mouth when you let your hole slide down his member made you feel like you were about to cum already.

He felt so good, stretching you perfectly, filling you in a way that made your toes curl.

You let yourself get adjusted, but you could tell, by the look on his face, and the way his hands bruised your hips, he wanted you to move. His eyes were dark with lust, breaths coming in ragged gasps. His grip on your hips was almost painful, but it only added to the intensity of the moment. The need in his eyes mirrored your own, a silent plea for you to give in, to let the pleasure take over.

He was trying so desperately to keep control. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to just let this happen. He was so firm on his decision to forget about whatever happened between you both. Then you came in here, and just turned his world upside down and now here he was, cock throbbing inside your tight cunt.

You began bouncing, hands gripping his shoulders for support.

“Christ,” he moaned, head nuzzling into your neck to plant kisses all over.

Your eyes focused on the bookshelf behind the couch, somehow reading every title of the books. Joel’s hand rested on the back of your neck, the other flat on your back.

“You’re doing so good, darlin’.”

“Joel….” you whined.

Jesus, what the hell were you doing? This isn’t forgetting; matter of fact, this is making it so much worse. But you couldn’t stop. No way in hell. You just kept riding, sweat starting to glisten off of your soft skin.

Joel noticed your bouncing and grinding getting sloppy, grasping your hips so he could help.

Your body completely gave out, so tired, but his cock hit your G-spot perfectly, making you moan in his ear as loud as you could.

“I got you, baby,” he whispered, his voice a soothing balm against the chaos of your thoughts.

His hands guided your movements, each thrust precise, driving you closer to the edge. The room was filled with the sound of your shared breaths, the slap of skin against skin, and the overwhelming furosity of your connection.

Joel’s kisses became more urgent, trailing down your neck to your collarbone, each one leaving a burning imprint on your skin. His grip on your hips tightened, steadying you as he thrust deeper, hitting that perfect spot over and over again. Your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving crescent-shaped marks as you tried to hold on to the last shreds of your sanity.

Every movement, every touch, was a testament to the unspoken emotions swirling between you. The room seemed to close in around you, the world outside fading into oblivion as you both lost yourselves in the moment. Your breaths synchronized, a dance of desperation and desire, building to an inevitable crescendo.

“Joel, please…” you gasped, your voice barely a whisper, but it carried the weight of everything you couldn’t say.

He responded with a growl, his pace quickening, pushing you both to the brink. The tension coiled inside you, tighter and tighter.

Until it snapped, your hips in sync with his as your orgasm washed over the both of you, the feeling of his warm cum inside of you making your heart pound. You start working on catching your breath as he pumps his cum into you, throwing his head back with strangled groans.

You kissed his jaw, slicking his damp hair back with your hand.

He looked so good like this.

You rested your head against his chest, finally catching your cool. Not a word was spoken by him, so you decided to speak up.

You could feel his heartbeat against your cheek, a steady rhythm that mirrored the tumultuous feelings inside you.

“I don’t want to forget.”

You moved your head to look at him, your hand on the back of his head, forcing him to look back at you. His eyes, filled with a mix of exhaustion and raw emotion, met yours.

Joel’s hand came up to cup your face, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone.

“I don’t either, sweetheart.” he finally whispered, his voice hoarse.

The vulnerability in his eyes was familiar, a mirror to your own. This wasn’t just physical; it was something deeper, something that neither of you could deny anymore.

The room felt smaller, more intimate, as if the walls themselves were bearing witness to this moment of truth.

You both knew that this was a turning point, a moment that would define whatever came next. Your fingers threaded through his hair, pulling him closer until your foreheads touched, breaths mingling in the space between you.

“Then let’s not,” you murmured, the words a promise and a plea.

Joel’s lips found yours in a kiss that was both tender and desperate, sealing the unspoken agreement. In that moment, everything else faded away, leaving just the two of you, bound together by the intensity of your connection and the uncharted future that lay ahead.

“Okay.” he murmured.

#joel miller #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #the last of us #jackson joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller angst #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fanfiction #smut

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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 7 months ago

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Obsessed - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 2

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Part 1

Summary: You help Ethan get revenge on his ex that made his life hell.

Contains: Angst, Mentions of abusive behavior, Fluff-ish? idk, Oral - m and f receiving, rough sex, dom!-ish Ethan (If I missed anything, let me know!)

A/N: I SUCK because I've had this almost finished for TWO DAYS and I thought I was going to have the time to finish it. Also, if there are any spelling errors or whatever, I'm sorry😫 If I re-read something I've written too much I start to criticize it and this would've never gotten posted lmao

After your night with Ethan, you woke up determined to right the wrongs that your friends’ narrative created. You felt bad for him, because he was the sweetest, and he didn’t deserve all the hate he got from people that had no idea what the truth was. And the last thing you wanted was for the boy you were starting to fall for to change his mind and decide on transferring to a different school, even after he told you he’d stay.

Your friend kept texting you all night, so much that you finally had to put your phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ just so you could get some sleep. Once you clicked on her message thread and had to scroll a few times to read all the stuff she’d sent you, you got an idea when you made it to the last text she’d sent.

‘How could you do that when it’s obvious I still have feelings for him?’

“Oh shit,” you said, rereading the message a couple times. “That’s it!”

You were about to text Ethan when you saw the ‘Good morning’ text he’d sent you, a sweet smile playing on your lips as you messaged him back.

You: Good morning

You: What are you doing today?

Ethan: I’m going to lunch with my friends soon, wanna join?

You: I wouldn’t be imposing?

Ethan: Not at all. Plus, I really want to see you

You: Where am I meeting you guys?

Ethan: You think I’m going to let you walk there by yourself?

Ethan: Meet me in front of your dorm in an hour

You: See you soon

When you walked outside, you saw Ethan leaning against the brick wall of your dorm. You ran up to him, a huge smile on your face as he pulled you close.

“Hey cutie,” he said, leaning down to kiss you. “How did you sleep?”

“I wish I slept a lot better,” you sighed, “Your ex was texting me all night.”

“Oh…why?” he asked, as he laced his fingers with yours.

“Someone told her I was kissing you at the party last night,” you said, his eyes growing wide at your words.

“What did she say?” he asked as he started to walk, leading the way towards the restaurant.

“That I betrayed her, that you’re going to hurt me just like you hurt her, and that she still has feelings for you.”

“Well, she can choke on her feelings,” he bluntly said, as you started to laugh. “I’m serious. She’s made my life hell.”

“I think I might know how to make things better for you, but I don’t know if you’ll like my idea,” you said, as he curiously looked over at you.

“What are you thinking?”

“What if you asked her to hang out? Like, just say that you miss her and you want to see her. Then you call her out on her bullshit, but record the conversation,” you said, as Ethan took a deep breath. “I can think of something else if you don’t want to be around her.”

“No, I think it’s a good idea,” he said, “I’m not sure if I can fake being nice to her, though. What if I see her and I just blow up on her?”

“I think you can do it,” you said, your thumb rubbing against the top of his hand. “Just think, you get her to confess that everything she’s said about you wasn’t true, and your life can go back to normal.”

“Normal sounds nice,” he said, glancing up to notice all the people looking at him. “I felt like I was invisible in high school. Now I can’t get people to stop staring at me.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re so cute,” you said, half-joking as you smiled at him. “I’m finding it hard to stop staring at you.”

“Stop, you’re going to make me blush,” he said, his free hand running across his face as he tried to compose himself from your flirting. “I think they’re staring right now because I’m with someone as beautiful as you.”

“Who’s making who blush now?” you asked, as he opened the restaurant door for you.

He led you over to the table where his friends were, introducing you to them as you sat down. You recognized Chad from the night before, and Ethan was just praying that he wouldn’t say something embarrassing.

“It’s nice to officially met you,” Chad said, “Ethan hasn’t shut up about you all morning.”

Ethan sighed in defeat as he looked over to his friend, “Seriously?”

“What? It’s true,” Chad shrugged, “He told me you convinced him to stay, which I’ve been trying to do for months.”

“I think things are about to get a lot easier for him,” you said, as Ethan smiled.

“She’s a genius,” he said, wrapping his arm around you. “Apparently my ex still has feelings for me. Fuck, I need to text her.” Ethan slid his phone out of his pocket and unblocked her number, before typing. “Does this sound okay?” he asked, showing you the ‘I miss you. can we talk?’ text.

“As long as you don’t actually miss her, then yeah,” you said, as Ethan started to laugh.

“Fuck no,” he said, as he pressed send.

“Wait…if she still has her feelings, why would she spread all those rumors?” Tara asked, as Mindy jumped in the conversation.

“She doesn’t want anyone else to have him.”

“That’s fucked up,” Chad said, as Ethan’s phone vibrated against the table.

Ethan looked over to you before he picked his phone up. You could tell he was nervous, you were, too.

“She asked me what I’m doing tonight,” he sighed, “She wants me to take her to dinner.”

“Do you feel comfortable with that?” you asked, his expression unreadable.

“Do you feel comfortable with that?” he questioned, “You know how she is. She’ll probably try to be affectionate.”

“I’ll kill her,” you said with a straight face as Ethan started to laugh. “I’m serious…if she touches you, she’s dead.”

“Ooh, what if we stake out at the restaurant,” Tara suggested, “We sit far enough away, but we can still see what’s going on.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Ethan sighed, “I could only imagine what she’d say once she finds out it’s all bullshit. What if she says I put my hands on her or something?”

“You’ll have witnesses. I’ll come,” Chad said, as Mindy agreed to come along, too.

“Okay, I’m meeting her at 7,” he said, as his hand rubbed against your leg under the table.

Once everyone finished eating, you and Ethan were invited over to Tara’s. Ethan had other plans though, asking you if you wanted to go to his dorm for a little bit first. You agreed, because you wanted to spend alone time with him before he had to meet with his ex.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me going out with her tonight?” Ethan asked, once you’d made it back to his dorm. “I haven’t even taken you on our first date yet, and I’m taking her on one. It doesn’t feel right.”

“I’m okay with it as long as you don’t get sucked back in,” you said, a nervous smile playing on your lips as you sat down on his bed. “She’s good at convincing.”

“I won’t,” he promised, as he took a seat beside you. “The only one sucking me in is you.”

“Do you know what you’re going to say to her?” you asked, trying to fight the blush that was spreading to your cheeks.

“Well, I thought I’d start the conversation with the ‘I’m happy you wanted to see me’ and go from there. I think I’ll bring up the rumors and stuff after we start eating,” he sighed. “I hope she doesn’t deny it.”

“Just say you won’t give her another chance unless she admits it, because I told you she was the one spreading everything about you,” you suggested, as he shook his head.

“I’m not throwing you under the bus like that.”

“She’s already pissed at me. Why does it matter?” you asked, “Because honestly, she’s not my friend, not if she’s that shitty of a person. I don’t care what she thinks about me.”

“What if she starts shit about you, too?” he questioned, making you scoff.

“What can she say about me? Everyone will know she’s a liar after tonight.”

You talked with Ethan for a while about the right things to say and do, and as the hours started to pass, he was getting really stressed. He laid back on the bed and pulled you close to cuddle.

“We should probably go to Tara’s soon,” he said, as his fingertips rubbed across your back. With the lack of sleep from the night before, you were starting to feel really drowsy with the soothing motions. “Fuck, I’m so worried that I’ll just snap once I see her. I feel myself getting angrier.”

“You have every right to feel that way,” you said, as your hand rubbed across his stomach. “But I might know I way for you to release some of that tension.”

“What did you have in mind?” he asked, already having a hunch with the suggestiveness in your tone. You didn’t say anything as your hand traveled lower, running over the slight bulge in his jeans. You felt him getting harder the longer you rubbed, his hips shifting as he tried to get comfortable.

You sat up to look at him before your hand reached up to the button of his jeans. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about last night,” you said, your eyes on his as you slid his zipper down. “No one’s ever made me cum as hard as you did.”

You started to tug on his jeans as he lifted his hips, making it a little easier for you to get them down.

“Do you want me to make you cum right now?” he asked, as you laughed and shook your head.

“No, baby. I’m going to take care of you,” you said, sliding his boxers down. He gasped the second his cock sprang free from the confines of his boxers, your hand moving to lazily stroke it as he watched you, his bottom lip in between his teeth. “I’ve been dying to do this.”

With his size, you knew you wouldn’t be able to fit all of it in your mouth, but you were determined to make him feel so good that the only thing he thought about on his fake date with your friend was you. You started with his tip, your tongue swirling around it. You paid extra attention to the underside the head of his cock because he kept gasping every time your tongue brushed against it. Then you slowly started to take him in your mouth, as his hand went to your hair.

“Fuck,” he sighed, as he watched you. He thought you were always beautiful but seeing you like this made him even more attracted to you. Your eagerness to please him just like he took care of you the night before showed him how down for him you really were, and the way that you thought of a plan to help him get his life back to normal had him falling for you harder than he expected to, at least this soon.

Once you started to gag, his hand that was resting loosely in your hair started to pull it a little, the feeling making you moan around him. You just kept going, the drool from all your gagging starting to drip down his cock. You reached your hand up to stroke what you couldn’t fit in your mouth, as your cheeks hollowed and how head started to bob.

“Shit, baby,” he groaned once your hand started to twist a little. “You’re so fucking perfect.”

His praise motivated you even more, your head moving quicker as he struggled to keep quiet. Not that he needed to be, but he had so many different sounds threatening to slip past his lips. He was fighting to keep his hips still. It was taking everything in him to not thrust into your mouth. You noticed that he was holding back, so you pulled away, your hand still moving as you looked at him. Your eyes were glassy from all the tears that formed, your lips were swollen, and Ethan was just so in awe of you.

“You don’t have to just lay there,” you said, the slight rasp in your voice from all the gagging quickly becoming his new favorite sound. “I can take it.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, as you mumbled a “Mhm.”

You took him back in your mouth, and it didn’t take long for his hips to thrust. Your hand kept you from taking more than you could handle, but you were still gagging so much. Every time your throat tightened; Ethan felt himself getting closer to the edge.

“I’m gonna cum,” he groaned, his hand tugging on your hair as his hips stuttered.

You glanced up to see him as his orgasm hit. His eyes were fluttering as the salty liquid coated your taste buds, his head rolling back. The grip he had on your hair loosened as you slowed down, before you slid him out of your mouth.

“How was that?” you asked, as he tore his gaze away from the ceiling to look at you. He had a goofy smile on his face as his hands reached out to grab you and pull you close.

“That was perfect, babe,” he said, as he started to get a little curious. “How’d you get so good at that?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to,” you playfully said, as he chuckled. “We really should go to Tara’s.”

“Yeah, I’m thinking if you guys go to the restaurant early, she would be less likely to see you,” he said, as his hands started to rub your back again.

“We better go now, because you’re going to make me fall asleep,” you said, pushing yourself off his chest.

Once you made it to Tara’s, Ethan was way calmer than he was before. You knew the plan would work, but now you had more confidence that he’d be able to keep his cool. When everyone said they were ready to go, Ethan wrapped his hands around your waist from behind you. You turned to face him, a sweet smile on your lips as he leaned down to kiss you.

“Thank you,” he said, as you curiously looked at him.

“For what?”

“For being amazing,” he said, stealing one more kiss as Mindy fake-gagged in the background.

“Okay, if we’re going to make it to the restaurant before them, we need to go now,” she said, as you hesitantly pulled away from Ethan.

“I’ll see you soon,” you said, following Ethan’s friends out the door.

Once Ethan and his ex made it to the restaurant, you could feel the jealousy building. You saw the simple touches against his arm, the flirty smile on her lips. You felt your blood start to boil as you huffed and turned your attention to his friends.

“You okay?” Tara asked, noticing the pissed expression on your face.

“She was touching him,” you said, glancing back over to see them seated at the table.

“You really like him, huh?” Chad asked, as you felt your cheeks start to heat up.

“Yeah,” you said, your angry expression turning into a smile as you thought about Ethan.

“He really likes you too,” Tara said, as Chad nodded.

“Yeah, I told you, he wouldn’t shut up about you this morning.”

Everyone kept glancing towards Ethan’s table, but you were trying so hard not to. You just wanted to focus on eating the food in front of you, even though you didn’t have much of an appetite. You didn’t want to see him doing what he could to get the confession out of her, but once Mindy mumbled “Oh shit.” you finally looked up.

“Are they arguing?” Tara asked, as Chad nodded.

“He looks pissed.”

You watched your friend try to grab Ethan’s hand on the top of the table, but he pulled it away before he stood up. He searched the restaurant for the table that you were at before he walked over.

“I got her confession. Let’s go, babe,” he said, as you stood up. He took your hand in his before he turned to Chad. “I’ll send you money for her food. Is that cool?”

“Yeah, we’ll leave soon. You want to come back to Tara’s?” Chad said, as Ethan shrugged.

“Not right now, I need to blow off some steam.”

Your heart started to pound, butterflies fluttering around in your stomach as he walked with you. You weren’t sure how he wanted to let out his aggression, but you really hoped that it’d be in his bed. He led you out of the restaurant, your hand in his. Once your friend saw, she jumped up from the table and followed you outside.

“Hey,” she said, grabbing your shoulder after she caught up to you.

“Don’t touch me,” you snapped, turning to face her.

“What the fuck was all of this?” she asked, as Ethan tried to pull you away. “Honey, he doesn’t want you if he asked me out tonight.”

“Honey, he asked you out tonight so you’d confess to all the fucked up things you’ve said about him,” you yelled, your words full of venom as she started to laugh.

“Aww, are you trying to get people to believe that he isn’t some asshole?” she asked, and your hands involuntarily clenched at your sides. You were furious with the smug look on her face and the snarky tone. “Good luck trying to prove it.”

“I’ll prove it,” Ethan said, as he started to play back the video so she could hear it. Her face dropped, before she tried to grab his phone from his hands.

“Aww, are you worried everyone’s going to find out how much of a lying bitch you are?” you asked, your tone matching hers as she started to get mad. “You can’t just fuck up someone’s life and get away with it.”

Your conversation with her wasn’t quiet, and people started to gather around. They were probably anticipating the altercation to get physical, but you refused to give everyone that satisfaction.

“You really are a shitty friend,” she said, making you scoff.

“You’re a shitty person! You spread so much shit about Ethan that wasn’t true. How the fuck do you sleep at night knowing you’ve been ruining his life all year?”

“He shouldn’t have broken up with me,” she snapped, “But it’s okay. You aren’t what he really wants. It’s cute that you think you’ll ever compare to me.”

“That’s the reason I am interested in her!” Ethan yelled, “She’s nothing like you! You told everyone I was controlling, that I was mentally and emotionally abusive. That’s what YOU were!”

She was about to say something, when she glanced around and noticed all the people with their phones out, pointed at her. You noticed some of the girls that you’d heard talk about Ethan staring at the ground, disappointed in themselves that they helped spread the rumors. Some of the guys that had gathered around shook their heads at her.

“That’s fucked up,” one of the guys said, before one of the girls jumped in.

“Yeah, you’re going to make all of us seem like we’re lying if something happens to us. That really is fucked up.”

You looked over to Ethan, your eyes wide as he tried to fight a smile from forming on his lips. He saw her little reign of terror crumbling, and it was so satisfying to watch.

She suddenly felt the urge to save face, walking over to Ethan. He backed away from her as she sighed in frustration.

“I’m sorry, Ethan,” she said, as he started to laugh.

“You’re only sorry because people know who you really are now,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You don’t care that you fucked this whole year up for me. All you cared about was making sure no one else wanted me, but how funny is it that one of your friends does?”

“Oh, we’re not friends,” you said, looking over at her. “Good luck finding someone here that wants to be with you after what you did to him.”

Ethan grabbed your hand to lead you away from her, as she stood there in the awkward tension. Once you and Ethan made it a block away, you both started to laugh.

“Maybe I didn’t need to record the conversation with her,” he said, “Almost everyone recorded that shit just now.”

“I’m happy for you, babe,” you said, as he leaned down to kiss you. It wasn’t a quick peck like you expected, your mouths moving together as you made out on the sidewalk.

“It was so hot watching you stand up to her like that,” he said against your lips once you pulled away to catch your breath. “Let’s go to my dorm. Chad’s going to Tara’s.”

“And what would we do?” you asked, a smirk playing on your lips as he smiled.

“I think celebratory sex is the perfect way to end tonight, followed by you staying over once I tell Chad he can’t come home.”

Once Ethan got you back to his dorm, he unbuttoned the jeans you were wearing the second you slid your shoes off your feet.

“Someone’s eager,” you giggled, as he led you to the bed.

“You have no idea,” he said, pushing you back.

Your legs were hanging off the side of the bed as he pulled your jeans and panties down your legs, the aggressiveness of it making you more wet than you already were. He dropped to the floor, sitting on his knees as he moved your legs to rest on his shoulders. He started with small licks to your clit, teasing you a little just so he could make you squirm. Your legs resting on him pulled him closer once he wasn’t giving you what you needed. He chuckled against you before he started to swirl his tongue around your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Fuck, just like that,” you said, your hand moving to rest in his curls.

His hands grabbed your hips to pull you even closer to his mouth, a squeal slipping past your lips once you felt your ass hanging off the bed.

“I won’t let you fall, baby,” he said, before his tongue went back to your clit.

You felt two of his fingers brushing against your entrance, a low moan falling out of your mouth once he slid them inside of you. You glanced down to look at him and saw his eyes on you. He couldn’t stop watching the way your chest started to rise and fall quicker and all the cute little faces you were making.

He started to angle his fingers just right, pressing them against the spongy spot inside of you as he suckled on your clit. Your hand pulled his hair, the other one gripping at the sheets as your moans got louder.

You felt that feeling starting to build, your body getting hotter as he pressed his fingers even harder.

“Oh shit,” you whimpered, as he sucked harder on your clit. “Cumming.”

Your back arched off the bed as the legs around Ethan’s shoulders clenched around him, holding him in place as he kept fucking you with his fingers. He slowed down a little once your pussy started to spasm, the loud whines falling from your lips echoing off the walls as he worked you through it.

Once your body relaxed, he slid his fingers out of you, and gave your clit a few more gentle licks before he rolled you over, your wobbly legs trying to stabilize themselves as your feet rested against the floor. You were still so blissed out, your senses still on overdrive as you heard the sound of his zipper getting slid down. After he took off his jeans and boxers, you waited in anticipation as he walked over to his nightstand to grab a condom. Once he came back over to you, he ran his hands over your ass that was proudly sticking up in the air for him.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he chuckled as he rolled the condom on.

He inched himself inside of you, soft moans slipping past your lips as he filled you up. When he stilled inside of you, he ran his hands over your hips as his cock stretched you out.

“You can move now,” you said, your voice muffled by his bed sheets.

He started off with slow, deep thrusts. He slid his cock out of you every time, his breathing getting heavier every time the tip went in and out of your entrance. Your hips started to move back to meet his slow thrusts, but he pulled back even further.

“Please, baby,” you begged, as you heard him chuckle from behind you.

“How bad do you want it?” he asked, as his hands moved from your ass to grip your hips. You huffed in response, as he slowed down even more. “If you want me to give you what you want, you better tell me.”

“I want it so fucking bad,” you pouted, as he smirked at how needy you were.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Before you could say anything else, he started to pound into you. He was pulling your hips back to meet his thrusts, your legs tingling as you struggled to hold yourself up. You were clinging to his sheets, whimpers flooding out of your mouth as he slammed into that spot every single time.

“So fucking tight,” he grunted, as you moaned in response.

Ethan had gone absolutely feral, one of his hands snaking under you to pull you back against him as he fucked up into you. He was squeezing at one of your breasts over your shirt as his other hand kept pulling your hips down.

“Are you mine?” he growled in your ear, this new side of Ethan turning you on more than you already were. You were trying so hard to form words, but they wouldn’t come out. The sounds of your wet pussy and skin slapping were filling the room as you felt the coil in the pit of your stomach getting tighter. “Are you too cock drunk to answer me?”

You nodded your head as he laid you back on the bed, your hands grasping at the sheets again as he fucked you even harder. Your whimpers were turning to cries as your legs started to shake, your orgasm taking over your body so strong that you swore you were going to black out from how good it felt.

“Almost there, baby,” he said, your pussy squeezing him so tight that he felt like he could bust at that feeling alone. After a few more deep thrusts, he moaned out, his cum filling the tip of the condom. He caught his breath for a minute before he slid out of you, smiling at the way your body was relaxed on his bed.

“I am,” you said, after he got rid of the condom and helped you get the rest of your body up on the bed.

“You’re what?” he questioned, as he laid down and pulled you close.

“I’m yours.”

After that night, your former friend only lasted a couple weeks at the university once everyone realized how she really was. She switched to online classes until she transferred to a college closer to her and Ethan’s home town. Your relationship with Ethan got more serious that he was bringing you home for the holidays. You were taking all these cute little photos in front of one of the light displays when you saw her with someone you assumed to be her new boyfriend, but she quickly walked away with him the second she saw you and Ethan.

“You think she’s going to do the same shit to him that she did to me?” he asked, wrapping his arm around you as you walked along the path of lights.

“No, I think she learned her lesson.”

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #scream smut #ethan landry smut #smut

494 notes · View notes

toxicanonymity · 11 months ago

Text

Let me stay awake.

7.2k, vampy!Joel x f!reader | vampire masterlist | playlist SUMMARY: Joel tries to take better care of you and plans a date night in. Next time he takes your blood, it feels amazing. WARNINGS: I8+, big girthy age gap (440s to 20s-50s), reader is in captivity, angst, hurt/comfort, dark fluff, POV alternates (twice?), a lot of character dev in the first half, a former blood donor joins the cast, chains, shackles, ankle collar, dry humping, groping, perfectly timed ejaculation. Captivity dubcon. SERIES IMMERSABILITY: Reader can menstruate, be lifted by vampire Joel, and has no allergies.

After Joel took your period, you told him he was doing a bad job taking care of you, which was true. But he did a good job at something. You slept like a baby. He was back with when you woke up. Now he’s sitting next to you on the mattress, back against the wall. Against his thighs, he’s holding a pen on top of a book that looks ancient. He adjusts his glasses and opens the book. The pages are blank, discolored, and thick. Some have been ripped out. He takes the cap off his pen and asks, “What’d ya have at your old house that we don't have here?” then rests his hand on the page to write. His hand dwarfs the page, and you feel a surge of desire recalling his sounds of pleasure. No, you don’t want him, you tell yourself, as if you didn’t fantasize about him on your way to sleep.

��Freedom,” you answer, and he winces.

He closes the journal with the pen keeping it partly open, then he turns toward you. “If ya just gimme a chance, sweetheart. . . I'm really gonna do my best. . .”

When you stay quiet, he says, “Ya know. I think one day, we’ll get there.”

“Get where?”

“Outside, out in the world together.”

“Really?”

He nods. “That walk we took was nice, right?”

“What walk?”

“Through the alley, that first night, when I walked ya to your car?” Right. . .what a gentleman.

“Yeah, I guess.” Now your mind is drifting back to the way he gently pushed you against the brick wall to kiss you on that walk. Did he already know what he was going to do to you when he first pressed himself against you?

His eyes are earnest. “It can be like that again,” he nods. “Just need a little time.”

You nod.

He clears his throat, opens the journal, and picks up his pen. “So what do you need?”

Your stomach twists. Answering would feel like resigning yourself to some dark fate. “I'm not gonna help you keep me prisoner,” you mumble.

“Prisoner?” He dips his head and his brow furrows. “God, no,” he softly reassures you. He reads your face, then stares into the mattress and swallows.

You rephrase, “Well I’m not gonna help you keep me.”

He looks you over with pleading eyes. “I'm gonna go out for a while, okay? Can I get ya anything?”

There are things you need, but you still can’t bring yourself to acknowledge you’re there for the long haul. So you shake your head no. He goes to get the chain from the floor.

“Hate doin’ this,” he mumbles. “‘s’just for now.” He drags the chain over and lifts the sheet to expose your feet. He sees the scrapes and irritation on your ankle. “Shit,” he shakes his head at himself. “Hold on, sweetheart,” he mutters. “Stupid,” he mumbles at himself as he gets up. He goes upstairs and takes the tray from breakfast with him. He returns with the same tray. It’s holding a pair of his own wool socks in a fair isle pattern, a paper bag, and a translucent teal bottle full of water. “Lunch,” he says as he sets the tray down next to you. He puts the socks on you, and they're toasty. Then, he puts the cuff on over the sock. “Little better?”

“A little,” you answer.

“Good,” he whispers.

— JOEL —

He’s gotta do something about that chain. He’s about to lay down on the sofa to think, but when he moves a decorative pillow out of the way, he feels a rush of shame. “Oh my god,” he whispers. He’s so stupid. How did he not think to give you a pillow? He goes straight to a guest bedroom. The tall, oak door creaks as he opens it. The light from the window nearly blinds him. He blocks it with his forearm as he hurries over to close the heavy curtains. He sneezes. He picks up an old pillow off the bed and fluffs it. Dust swarms around. There's no way he's giving you that. This whole room has a sad vibe. But he could make you a different room, maybe. His wheels start turning as he goes back downstairs - he has ideas for what room he could use, and what he could do with it.

He says your name as he descends the final steps. “I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking,” he apologizes as he crosses the room. He hands you the pillow and assures you he'll get a better one. Then he goes back upstairs.

After a little research, he packs a leather, cross-body bag and checks the weather. “Damnit,” he grumbles to himself. Cool but no cloud cover. If it were another sunny day, he’d stay home, but this is too important. He puts on a scarf and grabs his parasol from the coat closet and tucks it under his arm as he pulls on his gloves. He’d rather endure the strange looks than come home without the energy to take care of you.

Joel’s first stop is an erotic boutique. It's been a long time since he was anywhere like this. The mannequins in mesh bodysuits and strappy leather catch his eye on the way in, and he almost forgets what he came for. He can't help but imagine you wearing some of these things, but he'd rather just see you naked.

He slowly makes his way through the store. Should he get you a toy? It seems like sexual health would be a basic need. No, he decides. It might make you uncomfortable. He doesn't want to assume, and doesn't want to invade your privacy. Plus, he has to be careful. He doesn’t want you to think this is all just to get him off. He knows how it feels to be fetishized.

“Can I help you?” Someone asks. Joel turns around and squints through his transition lenses at the worker’s face, then their name tag. Craig. Where does Joel know him from? Joel stays home a lot, but not as much as one might think. He needs some kind of social contact.

Craig interrupts Joel’s thoughts, “You’re the one with the mansion, right?”

Joel chuckles. “Uhh, I dunno if–”

“Oh, sorry,” Craig holds his hand up. “Ya know what? I must be thinking of someone else.” His lie is an unconvincing attempt to allow Joel his anonymity after the slip-up. He probably thinks Joel is in disguise.

“No, no, it’s okay, man. I was just gonna say. I wouldn’t call it a. . . mansion,” Joel feels stupid as he finishes the sentence.

“Okay,” Craig concedes with a playful eye roll. “The house with the Christmas party”

Oh, God. Joel hadn't even thought about his party. It's gotta be small this year, if it happens. Maybe it would be nice. Joel pictures you in a fancy dress sitting next to him at the table. He imagines having someone to kiss at midnight.

“New year’s, “ Joel corrects him and sticks out his hand. “Joel.”

“Right, right.” Craig shakes Joel’s hand and asks, “Friend of the Fishers, right?”

Joel snaps his finger, “Yes! Right. You're in David's choir.” Another thing Joel forgot. His life has revolved around you ever since you stepped into it. You're all he thinks about. Joel starts to apologize, “Look, I dunno if I'm gonna make the Christmas concert this year, it snuck up on me.”

“It's okay, it's okay,” Craig reassures him with a wave of his hand. “Can I help ya find anything?”

“Yeah, uh, it said online y’all have some cuffs and chains and stuff?”

“Oh yeah,” Craig nods. “Come with me.” He guides Joel to a back wall covered in all sorts of contraptions. “Looking for anything in particular?”

“Yeah, something really comfortable and secure.”

–

As Craig rings up Joel’s purchase, Joel silently worries if this is going to work.

“Want me to show ya how the lock works?” Craig asks.

“Uhh, sure,” Joel says.

Craig takes the leather cuff out of the package and demonstrates the metal lock. He dangles the two keys. “One for you, and one for them,” he smiles.

“And both cuffs have the same key?”

“Yep,” Craig nods.

The cuff seems comfortable–the inside is suede and there's metal over the leather-–but Joel wonders if it's secure enough. What if you get away and he never sees you again? He looks at the metal loop on the cuff.

“Hey,” Joel asks and scratches his neck. “Y’all don't have any, uh, ID tags or anything do ya?”

“ID tags?”

“Like the little metal ones that hang on a loop.”

“Ohhh, like for a collar.” Craig raises his eyebrows.

“Or for this?” Joel asks, holding up a cuff.

“Cool,” Craig nods as if Joel is an innovator. “Gimme one sec.”

Craig goes out to a nearby shelf and comes back with a few collars that have their own tag – mostly hearts, either blank or with something generic like princess. “This is all we got.”

“Y’all do engraving here?” Joel asks.

“No. . .But if ya only need the tag, and it's gotta be engraved, I can tell ya where to go.”

–

When Joel is done with his next stop, he opens his leather bag and slips the metal tag into a zippered pocket. Damn, he thinks. He doesn't even know your favorite color. He hopes you’re okay with a black heart. Certainly better than a bone shape. He starts his car and heads toward the library.

When Joel walks into the library, he politely nods at the information desk, then heads to the computers. He sits down at one in the back row. He takes his gloves off, pulls his journal and a pen out of his bag, then logs onto the computer. He searches the catalog and the internet. What do you need? Food, water, shelter, this all seems obvious. What do you want? Freedom, he can hear you saying it. How much can he give you? How can he make you stay? How can he make you understand how much he cares? He retrieves a book and opens his journal to make some notes.

Joel puts down his pen, looks over his notes, then takes off his glasses, and rubs his eyes. He wishes you’d talk to him. What do you really want?

He whispers your name out loud. “God I wanna make you happy.” He closes his eyes and rubs his temples. He has a headache. The sun is catching up with him. He shouldn’t have gone out today. He should go home. When he opens his eyes, he puts his glasses back on. Someone is approaching. He swiftly locks the computer screen and closes his notebook.

“Joel.” It’s a kind, grandmotherly voice.

“Carol,” Joel smiles, and leans back as casually as he can.

“You alright there?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Joel nods, trying not to wince. She looks at the empty computer screen and closed notebook.

“Okay, well, you know where to find me, dear.”

“Great sweater, by the way,” Joel tells her. “Perfect color. Really makes your eyes pop.”

“Oh, Joel,” she coyly pats down her white curls. “Thank you, dear--OH, Christy asked if you came in. Do you want me to get her?”

Joel didn’t even think about her on his way in. He feels a twinge of guilt for silencing her call, ignoring her text.

“Joel?” Carol asks, looking concerned.

He snaps out of it and feigns a little smile. “Uh, no. No, thank you. Don't bother her.”

“Okay,” Carol says in a sing-song voice. “I'll leave you to it then.” She smiles and walks away.

–

So she was expecting him. Oh, shit - he thinks through his mental calendar - Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. Warmth rises to his cheeks. It’s been so long since he’s felt his cheeks get warm. It must be something in your blood. Not only has Joel taken blood from Christy, but she’s been his wingman before. They'd go out somewhere, and he'd listen to her drone on and on–she never took a breath–about her armchair detective community.

She’s always been a little too into the whole situation. If Joel thanked her for her help, she’d beam, “Any time.” She wasn't with him the night he met you. He wasn't on the hunt. But you smelled special, and he couldn't physically resist.

Joel hears Christy greet someone. He can't dodge her, he just has to hope she walks on by. He picks up his leather bag and puts it in his lap. He rifles through it until he finds a stick of menthol balm.

“There he is,” Christy calls.

Too late. He stuffs the menthol back in his bag without using it. He looks up, and she’s paused in the middle of the library with one hand on her hip and her eyes wide, even wider than usual.

“Hey, Chris.”

She hurries over. “So you are alive,” she teases with her arms crossed, then tilts her head, widens her eyes, and whispers, “figuratively speaking.” She laughs at her own joke.

She knows as much about him as anyone alive. It's made a big difference having a friend who knows. This has been one of Joel’s better eras, but the era he’s moving into with you will be lightyears better. And it’ll be more than an era.

“Kinda late,” she cringes lightheartedly.

“Oh, no, no, none for me. I’m good, thanks. Sorry, I’ve uh – I’ve gotta go.”

He stands up and puts his bag on. She’s gonna know something’s up. He scratches the back of his neck, weighing whether to break down and tell her everything so she can help him know how to make you comfortable and happy. Plus, he just wants to talk about you. He wants to tell the world. But today he has one priority: taking care of you.

“Waait a second,” Christy says knowingly, studying his face. “You’re glowing. You just got some good stuff, didn't ya?” She playfully punches Joel’s arm. “Good for you,” she beams, then raises her eyebrows and lowers her voice. “Bet it was menstrual, O positive.”

“The blood type doesn't–”

“--You say that, but if you’d let me do my experiment. . .Oh! We’ve got some new microfilm downstairs. 1880s, if you can believe it.”

“Not today,” Joel replies a little too quickly if he doesn’t want her prying.

Her lips form a line and her eyebrows go up, then she shrugs it off. “Okay, mister. Hey, can you still take care of Cal next weekend? Nat and I are–”

“--Uh, yeah,” Joel starts to walk off. “If you can drop her off.” You might enjoy the cat’s company.

“Joel!” Christy calls after him. “Don’t forget this!” She’s holding his parasol.

–

Next, Joel stops by the hardware store to get some supplies to secure you more comfortably. He’s sure he’s forgetting something, but this is a good start, and there’s always delivery. He doesn’t want to leave the house again this week. Thankfully, the hardware store is next to a Walmart, which has groceries, clothes, and pillows. He gets you some loungewear, socks, and new bedding. It’s the least he can do.

—--

When Joel gets home, he brings you four different pillows and some bedding.

“Wasn’t sure what firmness.”

He unlocks you and shows you the socks and lounge clothes. “These looked comfortable. Here, I can help. . .”

“I can do it,” you tell him.

“Right.” He turns around. While you’re changing, he says, “Let's order in tonight. Too tired to get anything started.”

“I’m not hungry yet,” you tell him.

Then he shows you the new cuffs and chain. He rings the heart shaped tag onto one cuff, then puts it around your ankle. “Better?”

The chain is much lighter. “Yeah, I guess,” you admit. “What’s this?” You look at the tag.

“Oh I dunno, I just–I started worryin’.”

You stare at him blankly.

“I dunno, just in case.”

“In case what?”

He swallows. “If ya. .” He looks around. He doesn't wanna say it out loud. “If ya left. . . so ya could . . . I dunno, get back.”

Now there’s a hint of pity and bewilderment in your eyes.

“It was stupid, sorry.” He takes a deep breath and manages a small smile. “Alright, sweetheart. I’ll be right upstairs.”

When he gets upstairs, he looks at his phone and has a message from Christy. His stomach drops when the picture loads. It’s his search history about taking care of adult human women and what makes them stay.

“God damnit,” he curses himself. Of course he didn’t clear his search history. He didn’t even log off. She's typing. She stops, then starts again, and he presses the heels of his palms into his temples. What now? Should he call her? She wouldn't tell anyone, but – Her message comes through with a woosh: “this is what librarians are for.”

“Ha," he scoffs with the slightest smile. He shakes his head and turns the screen off without answering. He should be relieved, but can’t help but worry. He's seen her at her worst. God, he hopes that was her worst. What does she want?

Another message comes in: “let me help you."

Of course that’s what she wants. Funny enough, he’s seen her at her worst specifically when she was trying to help. But it’s still tempting, because she’s smart and resourceful. She could tell him everything there is to know about you within an hour. He’d love to know what kind of clothes you’d like, your favorite foods, how to make you happy. But for now, he’s doing alright on his own. He doesn’t text back.

-—You—

A while after Joel goes upstairs, you hear drilling, then clanking, metal jingling, things being dropped.

Later, he brings you dinner. He doesn’t eat, but he sits with you. Then, after you’re done, he faces you, cross-legged on the mattress. He’s wearing his glasses and has his journal again. There are handwritten notes in it. From upside down, you can see the words “buy” and “do.” Some items are crossed through.

“I was thinkin’,” he studies the page, then looks up at you. “Ya might need a bed.” He looks at your face for confirmation. “Right?” he asks. Wow, he really wants an answer.

“I mean. . . yeah, I sleep in a bed, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Okay, I’m workin’ on a room for ya.”

For the next few days, he’s hard at work.

—----

He comes downstairs one evening around dinner time and says, “I was thinkin’, maybe we could watch a movie or somethin’.”

“Here?”

“Uh, no sweetheart. I was thinkin’, if ya wanna come upstairs for dinner, then maybe, after that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he smiles.

“Okay.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. “Good. Great.” He goes to the other end of the chain and takes a key out of his pocket to unlock the cuff from the floor. As he's doing it, he mumbles, “You can, uh, pick the movie. If ya want.” The chain is sliding around on the mattress as he fiddles with the cuff. When the cuff is free from the hook, he puts it around his wrist, then locks it. Your breath hitches. He sees you looking at his wrist.

“Don't wanna get separated,” he chuckles sheepishly, then puts a hand on your wrist. “Want yours here?”

“Yeah.”

He moves the leather cuff from your ankle to your wrist, and it's nice to feel his hands on yours as he fastens it. He smells good. Fresh, woodsy. He opens his palm and takes your hand to help you up. He holds the slack of the chain as the two of you walk upstairs.

—

It's a large room with high ceilings. It's dark, but cozy. A fire is lit. There are plants, lots of plants. And bookshelves in the walls. He takes you through the main room, to a dining room with a huge table already set for two. He offers you the head of the table and pulls out the chair for you. He lets the slack of the chain pool between your chairs, and you're both still wearing a cuff on your wrist.

You eat mostly in silence, which makes the jingling of the dog tag deafening when you move that hand. He asks where you’d like to travel. You’d love to just travel outside, down the driveway, but you humor him with more ambitious places.

The space is lit with gas candelabras, and it’s hard not to admire his handsome face and the way his eyes sparkle in the candlelight. Sometimes a flicker catches the silver in his beard just right.

After dinner, he takes you back to the main room. There's an oversized sofa with a large, soft blanket draped over it and pillows like the one Joel brought downstairs. There's a big, square ottoman. There's also a side table with two clean, empty wine glasses. The sofa faces the fireplace, which is quite wide, and there’s a screen mounted above it. Joel offers you a glass of wine, and you accept but won’t drink much of it. He starts the movie.

Joel puts his arm around you while you watch the film. The chain lightly clinks against itself as he strokes your shoulder, then your arm, and you feel yourself melting. He arranges the pillows and asks if you want to lie down. You do. He spoons you, with his free hand resting over your body. His chained hand is under the pillow, and it finds yours as the movie goes on. Your fingertips brush, and you don’t pull away. Then he fully rests his hand on yours.

The hand draped over your side gradually begins to wander. He slowly, lightly strokes your side. . .then your hip. . . then your stomach, over your clothes. His breath deepens. His light, meandering touch makes you weak with desire and lulls you half asleep.

“Thanks for being here,” he whispers. He kisses the nape of your neck. “I know it’s a lot to take in.” He kisses your hair. “But it'll be worth it.” His light touch continues, and you begin to tingle. “Won’t be stuck here forever. . .we’ll travel the world one day.”

His hand travels higher on your body as he moves it in loose circles, until he’s skimming the bottoms of your breasts. His palm grazes the outline of your hard nipple, and a hard shape twitches against your ass. You don’t flinch, but you inhale sharply through your nose, trying to suppress a wave of desire.

Joel pulls his hips back and tucks the blanket between you, to your secret disappointment. Then he props his head up to admire you. “So many things I wanna do with you,” he murmurs, running his massive hand down your side again where he started. “And for you,” he whispers, draping his hand over your lower belly. Then, barely audible, so quiet you might be imagining it, “and to you.” He puts his head back down on the pillow and inhales your hair, skimming your top with his fingers.

His hand nudges under your lounge top, then his fingertips slip into your waistband ever so slightly, and you’re throbbing. His fingertips skim your bare belly, dipping a little further into your pants.

He asks, “You okay from. . .”

Your heart rate quickens. “Yeah, I think so.”

“I can check,” he quietly offers. “Make sure I got it all.”

“Ok,” you whisper.

“Good,” he slides his hand down your lounge pants. You’re not wearing underwear. You gasp softly as his fingers reach your clit. He pauses there, and an involuntary push of his hips lets you feel him through the blanket before he pulls back again. His fingertips get lower, then hook between your legs, and he softly gasps when he reaches your wetness. He runs his fingers through your folds, then uses his massive hand to hold the waistband open while he peeks at his fingers.

“You did,” you whisper.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Shoulda waited, though. I wasn too rough. Shoulda let it happen.” He lets the waistband close over his wrist and cups your mound.

“You weren’t,” you tell him, closing your eyes, embarrassed at the whole situation. Now he knows how wet you are.

His middle finger twitches and nudges your clit, then begins nudging it rhythmically. Soon, it evolves toward a more deliberate, pleasure-focused rub, and he inhales deeply, chest expanding against your back.

“I think I should go to sleep,” you whisper, overwhelmed. His finger stops moving, but his hand stays in your pants.

Joel offers, “Might sleep better if–”

“Not tonight.” You twist your hips away from his, already hating yourself for cutting this off, but knowing you’d judge yourself for continuing.

He slowly withdraws his hand. “Sorry,” he mumbles. “Somethin’ came over me.”

On the way downstairs, he tells you again, “I’m workin’ on a room for ya. Just gimme a couple days.”

He chains you back to the floor, then makes up the mattress with a new set of bedding and a comforter. He tucks you in, and leans over you. He wets his lips, looking at yours. You look away. He kisses you on the cheek, soft and slow. Somehow, it feels just as sensual as if it were your mouth.

“Night, sweetheart.”

—-

The next evening, your room is finished. He brings you upstairs and shows you what he’s done. It’s an actual bedroom, with a nice, roomy bed. There’s a reading nook with a big, comfy chair and a wall of books. It’s dim, of course, but he shows you how to use the dials to remotely adjust the flames of the candelabras and chandelier. There’s a window with a curtain. It has steel bars, but at least it’s there. There’s a closet with clothes and some packages not yet opened. There’s even a fireplace.

“And here’s the best part,” he says excitedly, gesticulating in a way that makes the chain between you jingle. He brings you outside the bedroom and closes the double doors. There are two dark panels that create a heart where the doors meet. “Check it out.” He retrieves a key from his pocket, and locks the door from the outside. It’s a heavy, satisfying click. He looks at you like you’re going to be excited. “So you can take this off,” he explains, holding up the chain.

-----

You see Joel more often once you’re out of the basement. He’s happy to have you close, and you’re glad to have the accommodations. But you’re also confused, and a little depressed. You crave his presence and his touch in a way you know is unhealthy. You know it must be because he’s all you have right now, but your heart tells you there’s more to it. The whole situation has felt like a dream, and maybe that’s how you’ve coped. But the longer it lasts, the more real it feels.

One night, it catches up with you and you have a good cry. You try to be quiet. You try to stop, but you can’t. So you let it go, you just sob.

After a while, you hear the heavy lock, and the massive door opens just enough for Joel to come in. He closes it behind him, then stands there rubbing his beard. He looks at you like he’s lost, then cautiously approaches.

“Hey,” he whispers. He sits down on the bed. You’re curled up, facing him. You don’t turn away. He strokes your arm, and you cry harder. “Oh, sweetheart.” His eyes are sad. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong. He knows. He lies down, facing you. He hugs you into him and you cry into his soft t-shirt, inhaling his scent with every gasp for air. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “It’s gonna be okay.”

You close your eyes, wanting him to kiss you, and you’re disturbed by your own desire. You pinch your lashes shut harder, and your whole face tenses. It hurts.

“This isn’t okay,” you sob. “It’s not gonna be.” You try to push him away, but he holds you still. After all the times he’s folded, apologized, and backed off, that’s not what he does. He holds you in his arms, making you stay there. “What are you doing,” you whine, and you push at his chest. He doesn’t budge. You half-heartedly hit and kick at him, and he cages you with his leg, too. It soothes you, like a weighted blanket, but you fight it.

“Shhhh,” he holds you tight. His voice is deep and quiet against the top of your ear. “We’re gonna be happy one day,” he insists. “Promise, sweetheart.” You exhaust yourself crying, and he holds you. “I love you.” You try to ignore it, but that doesn’t stop your heart from fluttering. Soon you’re nuzzling your head into his neck, gripping his shirt in a fist like you don’t want him to go. He drapes a heavy blanket over both of you. He holds you like that until you fall asleep and your fist releases his shirt. He stays a little longer, then kisses you on the forehead and leaves.

—--

The next afternoon, Joel approaches you and sits down on the edge of the bed. “How ya feel? Ya look good,” he whispers, and cups your cheek. You don’t shrug him off.

“I’m fine,” you reply, wishing he would lie down with you again, but not wanting to invite him.

“What do you want for dinner?” he asks.

“I don't care,” you answer.

He sits there in silence and places a hand on your knee.

“Got ya somethin’,” he murmurs, and stands up for a moment. He appears to get nervous as he reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a shallow, velvet jewelry box. He sits down again and holds the box out for you to take, but you don’t. He opens it for you. It’s a necklace. He tells you what the stone is. It’s your birthstone. It’s thoughtful, but he only knows your birthday because he has your wallet. He faces you and puts his hands around your neck as he puts the necklace on, getting his face close to yours so he can see the clasp. With his temple nearly brushing yours, you feel a surge of want. There’s no denying it. The scruff of his cheek scratches you lightly as he finishes fastening the necklace. “There,” he says, and looks at you adoringly.

“Thanks.”

“You’re one of a kind, ya know.”

He wets his lips and you notice they’re chapped, dehydrated. He’s pale. You find yourself wanting to hug him, kiss him, but you don’t. He kisses you on the cheek.

—

One night, Joel makes you a special dinner. He cuffs the two of you together, and you eat in the dining room at the big table with him again. He tells you he needs your blood again. “I don’t have to take much,” he says. “It can be tomorrow,” he offers. “Don’t wanna spring it on ya.”

“It’s alright,” you tell him. “You need it.” And the truth is, you want it. You want him to take it. You want to be taken back to that moment against your car. You want something that overwhelms your senses and puts you on another plane. You need something to remind you that you aren’t just a girl in a room, and he’s not just some guy keeping you there. If you can physically feel all of that, maybe you can let yourself relax.

After dinner, he brings you back to your room and unchains you. You sit on the bed. He turns on the fireplace and tells you he’lll be right back. When he returns, he has an old medicine bottle with a cloth. He wets the cloth and says, “I’ll lay with ya, til ya wake up, okay?”

You look at the cloth in his hand and say, “You don’t have to put me to sleep.” He adjusts the cloth in his hand. “Don’t,” you shake your head.

His brows knit, and he reads your eyes for a few seconds.

“Let me stay awake,” you plead.

“You sure?”

You nod. He closes the bottle again and puts it on your nightstand.

“Thought it scared ya,” he mumbles.

“Well it did, when it was a surprise.”

He nods solemnly. “I’m sorry ‘bout that. I really shoulda. . . I don’t even know.” If he had asked, you wonder if you would have let him. Surely not, so you can’t exactly blame him.

“Okay,” he looks you over and gets on the bed with you. “You warm enough?” He nudges the cardigan you’re wearing.

“Yeah,” you nod, and shrug it off. You’re cozy enough from the fire.

“C’mon, let’s get up here.” He guides you up the bed and gets you to lay down with your head on a pillow as if you’re going to sleep.

He gets close to you, and starts lightly stroking your shoulder as he looks you over. His eyes glue to your neck, and he wets his lips, then he pulls his eyes back to yours.

“You can choose,” he offers. “Where I take it.”

You bite your lip as you watch his face and inhale his scent.

“I can take it here again,” he caresses your neck. Then he holds your arm and lightly brushes his thumb across where you’d normally get an IV, giving you an unexpected surge in arousal. “Or here.”

He checks your face, then lays his hand on your waist. His palm skims your side, down your hip. “Or,” he runs his hand up your thigh under your dress. His thumb caresses your thigh, right near your pelvis, and he whispers, “I can take it here.” You’re nearly overwhelmed with desire already.

“I dunno,” you whisper.

He gently rolls you onto your back. He takes a deep breath, scoots down the bed, and gets between your thighs. He nuzzles your inner thigh with his nose, then whispers, "up to you, sweetheart." You're throbbing.

“Tell me what feels right,” he murmurs and nuzzles your inner thigh with his nose. His hair is fluffy and his eyes are dark and sparkly as he looks up at you. “God, you’re . . .” He reaches up and wraps a hand around your arm. “You’re perfect.”

“Where do you want?” you ask.

“Everywhere, anywhere. I want every inch of you.”

You allow yourself a little smile and hold his eyes for a few seconds.

He sits up again and offers, “I can make ya feel good.”

“I know,” you nod with a laugh.

“I mean, it’ll feel best, if you’re already feelin’ good.”

You nod with butterflies in your tummy, telling yourself it’s for a practical purpose, and you might as well enjoy it.

He nods and whispers, “Okay. . .good.” His eyes rove your body hungrily. He asks, “Anywhere ya don’t want me to touch ya?”

You say "no" so fast your cheeks heat in shame.

His eyes darken and he growls, “good,” as he prowls back up your body. His triceps swell out from under his shirt.

He kisses you tenderly below your jaw and brings a hand to your breast. You lift your chin with a sigh. He drags his lips and nose down your throat to your chest, pausing at your neckline. He looks up and you nod. He nudges the fabric aside with his nose, then plants a wet kiss on the swell of your breast, and his eyes close. He moans into your skin. Your gaze fixates on his softwash khakis, and he briefly removes his hand from your chest to adjust himself. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“s’okay,” you whisper.

“‘Sposed to be about you right now,” he murmurs, looking up at you. You tilt your head, trying to look at his pants, but the room is too dim. Truth is, you’re finding it hard to think about anything but his cock at the moment. You only felt the briefest hint of it the other night. You want to feel it all.

He slides his hand up your thigh again, and his thumb nudges just slightly under the crotch of your panties, making you twitch. He takes a deep breath through his nose, then withdraws his thumb and lets down the edge of your panties. He scoots up to lie to your side again, leaving his knee between your legs. He rests his hand on your mound, and slowly ghosts your clit, closing his eyes. When he opens his eyes again, they sparkle, and his face drifts toward yours. You don’t flinch, you don’t pull away. You let him kiss you.

With one hand still between your legs, he slides the other one under your head. He kisses you slow and deep, stroking your most sensitive spot through your panties. Your mouths remain connected as his massive hand slides up to your bare abdomen. He gives your side a little squeeze before sliding back down and nudging his fingers under the hem of your underwear. He pulls his lips from yours and looks at you darkly. It’s not a question, but you nod as his hand slides down. You gasp and his knuckles strain the fabric as he cups your naked heat. “Good,” he whispers when he feels how wet you are. “What if ya just. . .” he kisses you again, then murmurs, “let your body decide." He plants a soft, open mouth kiss on your cheek, then whispers in your ear, "I'll go everywhere. You tell me when.”

You wrap your wrists around his neck and he catches your inner arm with his mouth. He wetly kisses the inner crook of your elbow, looking up at you. Then he drags his lips down toward your chest, where he pulls your dress down. Your skin hardens with goosebumps as your nipples sharpen, and he groans softly. He kisses your bare breast, then fixes your dress, and kisses your hard nipple through the thin cotton. You arch your back and sigh. He gets between your legs and backs up as he kisses his way down your torso. He lifts your dress and thumbs your panties, sighing “oh, God.”

He lifts one of your knees over his shoulder and kisses at your cunt through the damp fabric. Your hips lift into his mouth. He licks along the edge of the crotch, then your inner thigh. He leaves a meandering trail of kisses around your inner thigh, then plants his lips and leaves a hickey. He glances up at you and adjusts himself again, and you let out a little moan. “C’mere,” You nudge him, pulling at his arms, wanting nothing more than him on top of you.

He prowls up your body and plants his hands on either side of your chest. Lays his hips into yours, and when the shape of his warm, hard package presses into your most sensitive place, you gasp and he lets out a low moan. “Should I take-” he asks, reaching for his belt. You’re nodding before he finishes the question. He uses his left hand to unbuckle his belt. “Sorry,” he mumbles as he pulls away from you enough to take his pants off. Now he’s in long johns, and it’s quite a bulge you’re looking at. Your face and chest burn. You pull him toward you with your feet. He presses his throbbing arousal against your aching heat, and you moan. You card your fingers through his hair. “Feel so good,” you whisper.

“Good,” he whispers, then kisses your neck again.

He puts his hand on your thigh and you wrap your leg around him. He lightly grinds into you as he kisses your neck, then your cheek, then your lips again. Your mouths open and draw each other in. You breathe each other’s air and drink each other’s spit. Your lips tingle. Your chest tingles. As you kiss harder, he grinds harder against you. You badly want him inside you, but you won’t, you can’t, you shouldn’t, you tell yourself.

The next time his mouth comes to your neck, he teases you with his tongue and a bolt of pleasure shoots down your spine. Your nipples harden. He opens his mouth wider against your skin. “Do it,” you whisper, then feel the prick of his fangs against your flesh. “Do it,” you repeat, and his arousal swells against you as he sinks his teeth into your skin. Your hips lift against his. He moans into your neck, and as your blood flows into him, he gets harder. You shudder in pleasure as he takes what he needs. You move his hand from your thigh to your breast, and you lift your pelvis into his, whispering, “yeah.” You’re not lightheaded, not yet. He’s doing this slowly, pacing himself.

His warmer, harder cock twitches against you, and you reach down to grope it desperately. He groans. You grind up against him and moan, “Joel,” with a surge of need overtaking you. He ruts against you slow and hard, warm and stiff, then his cock pulses right against your clit. He groans into your neck, and you grind back against him, and the whole front of you begins to pulse with him. “Oh God,” you gasp and grab his ass, pulling him against you harder as the warmth of his cum seeps through the thermal fabric, “oh fuck,” you sigh as you cum with him.

As you finish convulsing, his fangs release you. His breath is humid against your neck. “Fuck, i’m sorry,” he mutters. He leans his cheek against your shoulder, and you can feel how warm his face is.

“Don’t be,” you whisper. “That felt really good.” He pulls back and looks at you, cheeks blotchy.

“Really?” he asks. He cups and adjusts his manhood through his damp bottoms. “I never. . .”

“I know,” you reassure him. “It’s my blood, isn’t it?”

He nods with his eyes half closed. “It’s incredible.”

You nod. “It was good for me too,” you admit.

“I could feel it,” he puts a hand on your panties. He sighs and lays half on top of you. He strokes your face. “Can I do somethin’ for ya?”

You shake your head no. “I’m good.”

He caresses your neck. “I’ll get ya some ice.”

“No,” your hand comes to his back, and you don’t let him leave. “Just stay right here.”

You lay in silence with him half on top of you. Then he props himself up to look at you.

“We're made for each other,” he whispers, looking at your mouth. He kisses you softly, then meets your eyes. “You don’t believe it yet. It’s okay.”

“It’s not that I don’t-”

“It’s okay. Don’t have to,” he reassures you. He rests his head close to yours on the same pillow, and nuzzles his nose against yours. “Just hope ya feel it one day,” he murmurs into your cheek. “I know ya will.”

You feel it. You disagree, you think, but you feel the truth in it.

He puts his arm all the way over you. His arm is solid, and you imagine very heavy, but it's not dead weight. It's tense, like he's actively holding you there, just in case.

—----

---------

--------

His parasol was inspired by @gasolinerainbowpuddles mood board.

Thank you so much for love for vampire!Joel and your patience for his story to continue.

I hear you about notifs not working, and tags too (i'm not receiving a lot of my tags either). consider checking my fic notifs blog @toxicfics or the "latest fics" link on my profile header once in a while to see what you might have missed.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #vampire!joel #vampire!joel miller #toxicanonymity ☠️#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #dark!joel miller #cw dubcon #vampire!joel ☠️#pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller fluff #dark fluff

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princessbrunette · 9 months ago

Note

this is so specific but we all know that grey coors light muscle tank that jj wears in season 1 i’m pretty sure, but imagine him waking up to reader wearing that shirt NO BRA dude would go fully teenage boy mode and just stare at your chest cause like HELLO THEY ARE ALMOST SPILLING OUT

˖⁺‧₊˚🐈‍⬛˚₊‧⁺˖

he wakes up quite literally a minute before you, sitting up on his side of the bed as he wakes up fully, rubbing his hands over his eyes. he didn’t remember falling asleep that night, just that he’d passed out after giving it to you for a solid hour, sweaty and spent. he hasn’t even noticed you yet, more so what you’re wearing — because when you stir and he turns half around to check on you, he quite literally forgets how to breathe.

you’re on your back, blankets jostled around your legs as you stretch— eyes still blissfully shut. you must’ve pulled his shirt on before you’d fallen asleep, and he had to say you wore it better than he ever could. it hung loose on you, the large armhole gaping, pulled a little across your chest to the point where the fat of your tit spilled out the side, had it been peeled any further to the right and your nipple would be on display.

“good lord, good morning to me.” he rasps, yawning and your eyes flutter open, a soft smile on your face as you reach a hand toward him, stroking the skin you could reach.

“hi, jayjie.” you hum, and he’s convinced you could have called him any name — because he’s not listening to a word, eyes on your tits.

“you know i thought i looked pretty good in that shirt, but holy mother of mary you’re wearin’ the shit out of it. like, seriously. you kinda just woke my dick up too.”

you giggle, looking down at yourself with one eye as you rub the sleep out of the other. you pull the material so you’re more decent, much to his dismay.

“i forgot i put it on.” you sit up slowly, stretching once more and arching your back, hard nipples from the cool morning air sticking through the light grey fabric. he stares for another moment before he just can’t stop himself.

“i hate to ask this of you so early in the mornin’ but uh— please let me touch them.” he rushes out, eyes wide and saucepan-like and you roll your eyes tiredly, taking his hands and pressing them to your tits.

“dont have to ask, jj. they’re yours to grab whenever you want.” you pur, knowing the effect it’ll have on him. he keels over a little from his now knelt position.

“oh wow— okay, yeah saying that kinda thing is totally unfair. you know that’s gonna brick me up babe. c’mon.” he lightly scolds as he massages your chest, getting his moneys worth.

“such a shame jj… can i help you with it? the least i could do?” you flutter your lashes and gently paw at his chest so he lays back down, quickly sliding down his body and dropping kisses to his pelvis making his jaw drop.

“its like i made you in a freaking lab… jesus.”

“i just like breakfast in bed, jayj.” you giggle, starting to mouth at his tip as he reaches full stiffness. he tucks his tongue between his lips with a smile as he watches you, before commenting quietly.

“yeah. sausage n’eggs right? ow— okay, that’s my bad.” he’s met with your teeth sinking into his thigh.

˖⁺‧₊˚🐈‍⬛˚₊‧⁺˖

#anon #jj maybank prompt

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weirdsht · 4 months ago

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Cliché - LoTCF & Venion Stan! Reader

notes: ngl i took more time dwelling whether i should make this a series. but i never did two series at once because i can't handle the commitment, so i compromised by making it a long oneshot. ALSO TRIGGER WARNING: I put my psych major to work while writing this fic so...

tags: TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE CAREFULLY READ THE TAGS (dw nothing too graphic for every warning) depression, eating disorder, anxiety, self-loathing, torture and abuse, guilt, like lots of guilt, passive to mild suicidal thoughts, not being able to control your body, catatonic depression, anhedonia, blood, cursing, vague novel spoilers, Taylor Stan being the best brother out there, open ending i think, can be seen as hurt/comfort

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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Navigation Masterlist Platitude (pt. 2)

Tak Tak Tak

The sound of the horses of the carriage filled your ears as soon as you woke up.

…Wait horses?

How could there be horses when you were sure you were inside a lecture hall?

“Young master I’m glad you’re awake. We are nearing Viscount Tolz’s territory.”

Viscount Tolz? That sounds familiar, but you can’t quite put your finger on it as you just woke up.

You observed the unfamiliar place you woke up in. You seem to be inside a carriage, years of reading manhwas, manhuas, mangas and web novels have gotten you familiar as to what they looked like.

Observing the interior a bit more, you notice that the carriage you are in seems luxurious. That and the servant riding a horse outside the carriage window just called you “young master”.

‘Did I transmigrate? I swear I was just nodding off during one of my lectures…’

“You. What date is it? My head feels fuzzy from sleeping in this uncomfortable carriage.”

‘I’ve rotten my brain reading that damn isekai genre. I already know the drill, I should be a villain or something. I guess I should be glad I didn’t end up as an animal, those things have gotten popular these days…’

You silently shivered at the thought of being a bird or a snake.

“I’m sorry about the seat young master. You’re custom cushion should be arriving tomorrow. As for the date, it is currently year 780 of the Felix Calendar.”

Shit

By the calendar mentioned you could already tell what series you transmigrated to. There was only one series you know that uses Felix Calendar.

Lout of the Count’s Family

And it looks like you got sucked into that novel a year before things began.

“As soon as that arrives install it in my carriage. This thing is as hard as a brick.”

Contrary to what you say, the seat is very soft and comfortable. However, if you really did transmigrate as a villain like in all those manhwas you’ve read then you figured you have to act as bratty as possible.

“I understand young master. We are nearing the villa soon, I’m sure young master Neo has prepared your room so you can rest.”

Fuck. You’re fucked.

Out of all the small villains in existence you just had to steal the body of a dragon abuser. You just had to get in the body of Venion Stan.

Venion out of all people. Even Neo Tolz or Adin or Duke Fredo would’ve been better picks.

But no, the gods of this world just had to put you in the body of an atrocious villain that has no use.

Never mind running away in the countryside while enjoying all the inheritance, there’s no way that black dragon is going to leave you alone.

…And for sure the black dragon is already 3 years old, there’s no saving you now. Anger and despair are already planted in that poor baby’s heart.

Everything moved too quickly to your liking. One moment you were in the carriage, then next Neo was greeting you. After you blinked you’re already in the black dragon’s cell.

‘Can I survive a year before Cale comes here to get the dragon?’

The black dragon can’t use mana, let alone dragon fear. But his vicious gaze full of animosity is already enough to make you feel guilt and fear.

He looked so pitiful. The cell might be spacious, but a cage will still be a cage. He was just there, in the middle of the cell. Chained and unable to fight back.

The buffet in the middle doesn’t help the queasiness you feel in your stomach.

“Do-”

‘Don’t bother with it, I won't be visiting the dragon further.’

The words you want to say are stuck in your throat. Some unknown force is stopping you from uttering them out.

You figured it was so that things would still go according to the plot.

‘I know I wasn’t the greatest in my previous life, but was I so bad that I must experience this?’

Tap Tap Tap

Heels of your shoes tapped against the ground as you walked towards the table. You tried to stop your body, but it was useless. No matter how hard you try to stop yourself you just keep moving.

“Start.”

Your voice- no Venion’s voice said and the torturer started whipping the dragon.

Gulp

There’s a bile in your throat threatening to show itself. However, you swallowed it. The scene may look horrendous, but you didn’t look away. You didn’t stop eating the feast in front of you. You didn’t stop laughing at the small dragon’s demise.

More like you couldn’t.

You wanted to cry. You wanted to go back to your world and curl up in your bed. You wanted all of this to be a dream.

‘Is this the doing of the gods? If so then why must they be cruel.’

“Is there anything else you want to do young master?”

“No just go out. All of you. I will follow in a short while”

Following your order, everyone in the dungeon started heading out. After a few seconds, there was no one but you and the dragon in the room.

Bleurgh!

As soon as there was no one else in the room you vomited. Good thing there was a bathroom attached in the dungeon. The bathroom door was wide open as you puked your gut out, showing the black dragon a view of your pale face. Despite that you didn’t care, your only focus was to get rid of the horrible feeling running through your body.

It’s not as if the dragon would care about its torturer.

That night you spent the entire time in your bed tossing and turning. Too tired to sleep but too scared to face the nightmares you have to combat every time you do.

“Go find a magician or something and commission a temperature-regulating device. I want it installed at the cave before we visit the Tolz territory again.”

“As you wish your highness. However, aren’t you spending a bit too much on a mere pet?”

“You dare think I’m buying all these things for that pesky dragon? I’m buying it for my own comfort, you should be aware of how I want to be comfortable all the time.”

“It seems I made a mistake. I shall prepare everything you desire for the next time you visit the villa.”

Six months has already passed since you became Venion Stan. Adjusting wasn’t easy, especially when there are more times when you can’t control your body than when you can.

But still, you persevered.

It wasn’t like you had a choice anyway. You have already taken over this body so you have to live in it. That and there’s also the fact that you want the original plot to go smoothly.

You want the black dragon to experience justice.

So you persist. Even when the atrocities you did make you puke. Even when you want to kill yourself.

You didn’t

It wasn’t right.

You may not be the original Venion Stan, but it wouldn’t be right to take away the revenge the black dragon deserves. That was why you decided to persevere.

Persevere now and suffer at the dragon's hands later before finally dying.

That was your plan.

You didn’t care about other things anymore. Money, territory, power; none of those things mattered to you anymore. Too disgusted with yourself and everything you have been doing to even attempt to enjoy those things.

However

There’s a silver lining in all of this.

After a month of being in your new body, you have found a loophole. You found a way to combat some of the restrictions to your actions. As long as you sound selfish and villainous enough, you can get away with saying and doing most things.

Using this knowledge to your advantage, you slowly made life for the dragon easier. You bought a lot of things such as cushions, a more comfortable collar, and the temperature-regulating device you just ordered. You also used this fact to lessen your hold on both Taylor Stan and the underworld.

“Venion, I heard you withdrew the people watching over your older brother.”

You scowled at Marquis Stan’s words as if the mere mention of Taylor Stan upsets you.

“Father, what can that cripple do? He has no legs, no power, and barely has any money. Putting people to watch over someone like that will only be a waste of resources.”

Luckily, the marquis agreed with your reasoning and let the situation go while praising how smart you are.

‘Hopefully by this Taylor Stan can gather more information now that my people are now hovering over him.’

That night you managed to sleep for approximately 30 minutes. The longest sleep you’ve experienced since coming over to this world.

Bleurgh!!

It was another torture session and once again you were vomiting everything you ate that week after the session.

While you were busy trying to not make a mess on the bathroom floor, you didn’t notice a certain young dragon observing you.

He may be three years old and he may not know much but his still smart because he's a dragon. That was why he noticed the changes in his captor that started around 8 months ago.

The young dragon noticed the hesitation in your eyes whenever you entered the dungeon. How you were puking from self-hatred and not because of how bad the food was like you said. How your laugh is soulless, especially when he’s being tortured.

How you stagger the slightest bit while standing up after those sessions. How your hands shook ever so slightly from guilt. How you tried to make the cell as comfortable as possible for him despite saying you were doing it for your own comfort.

How your eyes look more lifeless each time he sees you.

The young dragon noticed all of it. He may not know what caused the change, but he knows that everything you’re doing is against your volition.

“Fuck I lost my appetite already. I’m going back to my room. Feed those scraps to that dragon.”

You ordered your servants on your way out. Walking as if your entire body wasn’t shaking ten seconds ago.

The black dragon just watches you with observant eyes.

The “scraps” you were talking about were the feast that was barely even touched. It had always been like this for a few months now. You would barely touch your food and give it to the dragon in the guise of treating him like a dog.

For now, the young one accepts the food. He’ll figure out your intentions later.

“Lessen the guards at the dungeon. Remove all the cushions too, I’m going to change them. Do the same thing to the dragon’s collar too. While you’re at it increase the guards stationed at my quarters. Put the guards in the cave to my room.”

It’s the fated day. Time passed and now is already the day the black dragon will be rescued by Cale, Choi Han, and the cat tribe children. You already met them earlier and acted as arrogant as you could.

Hence the preparation. You need to make it look like the dragon was kept in a horrible condition. Of course, he was… but like much more worse conditions.

“Assassins have been increasing their attempts lately. If I see someone assigned to my room not doing your jobs I’m going to feed you to the sharks. Oh, and you.”

You pointed at a random servant passing by.

“Here’s some gold, buy some alcohol from the inn. Don’t tell anyone I was the one who bought it.”

“May I ask what you’re going to do with the alcohol young master?”

Everyone knows that Venion Stan deemed things not noble enough as disgusting. But you felt guilty for pushing that old man around earlier so you made an excuse.

“Depends on my mood. I’m feeling generous so if you all guard my room tonight then I’ll give you the alcohol tomorrow to drink.”

Everyone held in their shock.

“But if you don’t then I’m going to throw each bottle in your heads while drinking real wine.”

With that, you turned around to lie down on your bed.

That night was the same as every other night you spent in this world. Sleepless. However, that night you felt some weight being lifted off your shoulders as you heard the ruckus Choi Han was causing outside.

‘He should be curled up in Cale’s lap while looking at me viciously’

You stealthily peeked at Cale as you walked towards your seat. Just a moment ago he was trying to rile you up by acting obnoxious. It was hard to try and act like you were keeping your composure when you agreed with everything he said.

“What the..!”

‘Shit did I not put enough strength into my acting?’

You barely felt your blonde hair sway as you slapped the table in supposed shock at Taylor Stan’s entrance.

‘Maybe I should’ve forced myself to eat a little bit more before coming here…’

Gritting your teeth, you ignore the black spots dancing in your vision. Today is a vital day, you can’t ruin the script by fainting because you only ate 3 spoonfuls during breakfast.

Luckily, it looks like everything is going according to the plot. Based on everyone’s reaction, you looked like an enraged noble.

Days following that event were even more chaotic. Not only was the terrorist attack in the plaza terrifying but trying to act as if you were trying to hold on to your position when you just wanted to give it to Taylor was even tougher.

As usual, you persevered.

Comforted yourself at the thought that in a few months, you can embrace death’s sweet presence.

“Do I look different without the blood?”

You felt scared and relieved at the sight of the black dragon that now goes by Raon Miru.

Scared because even though you have resigned yourself to your fate, and felt like you deserve it even, you still feel fear for what’s about to come.

Relief because he looks healthy. Chubby even. You were glad that he was living a good life after he got away from you.

Disregarding your feelings, you let the poisonous fog into your body. Resigning yourself to the four days of hell waiting.

Ugh…

Your body feels sluggish when you wake up.

“What the… It hasn’t even begun yet why does that bastard’s eyes already look dead?”

“That’s what I was telling you human! That punk's eyes tell a different story from his actions.”

Soft. Whatever you were lying down on felt soft. It wasn’t like what you’ve read in the novel where Venion was lying down on the hard ground. The magic collar was also soft. It felt similar to the one you bought for Raon a year ago.

You would know because you made sure to pick the softest one yourself.

“His eyes look more dead than when I last saw him at that cave.”

Eyes? Were they talking about yours?

You didn’t know. You didn’t care.

You just want everything to end.

Gasp!

Someone gasped, you think it was one of the kittens.

“T-tears! Why is he crying? I only put paralysis in poison earlier.”

Crying? You were crying?

You sit up. It was hard because of the chains tying your arms but you still did it.

As you look down on your lap, tears are indeed flowing.

‘Why am I crying? Wasn’t I waiting for this day?’

Everything was already planned in your head. You get tortured then you will go crazy. Then you will kill yourself and make everyone believe you did it because you’re crazy.

So why are you crying now?

Why are you in tears as if you don’t deserve what’s happening to you?

Why do you weep as though you haven’t committed several crimes this past year?

How dare you do so.

How dare you act so pitifully when the child you tortured is right in front of you?

Shameless. Till the end, you’re so shameless.

Click!

Thunk!

Beacrox unlocked the magic collar. As he did you saw it falling on the ground.

“Ah, so there really was fur inside…”

Your voice sounded soulless. It sounded so dead that even you were shocked at how you sounded.

But it also felt cathartic.

After two years of trying to act lively. Two years of acting as if you were fighting for something.

You can finally let out your real emotions.

Two years. It took more than two years for you to be granted that privilege.

“Speak. I heard you bought the same thing for Raon.”

“You really named him Raon…”

Beacrox grabbed your collar. He looked furious. If you remember things correctly, he just heard about the dragon’s story a while ago so you understand his feelings.

“He told you to answer. Why did you buy something like that after 3 years?”

“I was getting tired of looking at the hard metal… There was nothing in that cave but stone and metal…”

Your tears are still flowing. It looks like they were crying a whole year’s worth.

Despite that, you were not shaking, nor were your eyes looked sad.

Contrarily, you looked like those creepy dolls with soulless eyes that cried in horror films.

That low-key scared everyone in the room.

“Before, when I was three, I saw you shaking every time you came to the cave. Why was that?”

What’s happening? Why is there a sudden interrogation? You signed up for torture not for a cross-examination.

Still, you answered the dragon.

“I can’t tell.”

“Is it related to how you can’t seem to say what you want at times?”

Just how much did that kid notice in the few times you visited him?

“Yes. When are you going to get started? I need to meet with my hyung after this…”

Meet him and then die.

So please hurry up already.

“Hey punk, you sound like you already know what’s going to happen.”

“It’s obvious. This place looks exactly like that damn cave.”

You were getting tired of talking.

Actually, you were tired. Period.

“But it doesn’t look like how I left the cave when you rescued him.”

“Yes, because that wasn’t how the cave I lived in looked like. It looked like this.”

And the “this” Raon was talking about felt more homey. There were soft lights and a bunch of pillows and cushions. There were even some stuffed toys and blankets.

Was this how you decorated Raon’s cave?

You can’t remember.

Not that you care.

“Can we get started already please?”

“I thought you were a sadist, not a masochist.”

Something snapped inside you at that moment. You didn’t know why it was Choi Han’s comment that riled you up. Maybe it wasn’t the comment but the waiting that set you off.

“Just do it already! Are you dumb?! This fucking plot will not move unless you fucking torture me!”

In that moment you felt a searing pain in your chest.

“Argh!”

Blood flowed out from your mouth.

‘So that’s what happens when I try to push the restrictions.’

Coughing out blood when you’re body was already weak from not eating and sleeping enough was bound to cause you to faint.

And faint you did.

“Young master Cale said you were unconscious for 4 days. The doctor told me you were both malnourished and fatigued. One of your servants confessed that it’s an achievement if you eat 4 spoonfuls every meal. The young master also mentioned how it seems like you were forced to do everything you’ve done… Just what is happening? Hmm? Tell this hyung of yours.”

“Hyung…”

In the end, you didn’t get tortured…

“What’s going to happen now? What’s going to happen to me?”

You diverged from the fate carved out for Venion Stan.

That made you scared.

The restriction placed upon you to prevent you from straying from the plot scared you.

“Everything will be okay. But you need to tell me what’s going on.”

Taylor Stan hugged you, and you felt disgusted with yourself that you dare find warmth and comfort in that hug. Disgusted that you dared cry in front of him when you tried to kill him in the past.

But you couldn’t help it.

You couldn’t help that your hyung was soft and caring even though he was stern and strict.

“I’m scared hyung. I’m a horrible person.”

As you speak you notice Cale in the corner of the room. He was trying to go out to give you two some privacy.

“Please stay.”

‘You deserve to hear the truth too.’

Cale stopped moving at your words.

At that moment you decided to spill everything. Venion Stan’s role was already done. Even if it wasn’t, you already strayed from the path written for him. So you’re pulling all stops now.

“I’m a horrible person that did horrid crimes. I know that, I did them with my own hands after all. But I didn’t want to do them.”

You felt that stinging pain slowly coming back.

“There are times when I can’t control the things I say or do. No matter how hard I try my body won’t listen to me.”

The taste of blood in your mouth is back. You tried to act as calm as possible and nonchalantly spit it out in a napkin as if you were just wiping your mouth.

“I think it’s the god’s doing. It’s fated that I must be a bad guy for everything in the future to work out.”

You wiped your mouth again.

“I couldn’t resist it. But I found a loophole.”

Wipe

“If I make it look like what I was doing is villainous then my movements will not be restricted as much.”

“So when you removed the people watching over my residence..?”

You nodded while wiping your mouth once again.

However, this time Taylor snatched the napkin out of your hands.

“You’re bleeding..!”

“Ah…”

You were wiping so much blood that it already seeped out. Causing for Taylor and Cale to see the blood.

“I should’ve used a darker colour…”

“Stop talking. I’ve already heard everything I need to know.”

“I have nothing else to say to you anyway.”

The two men started walking out of the door when you called out to someone.

“Young master Cale, can you please stay? I must tell you something.”

The marquis and the young master exchanged a glance before one of them left the room.

“What is it?”

At Taylor’s exit, Raon undid his invisibility.

“It’s not fate.”

Cale and Raon looked at you as if you’d lost your head. Honestly, you wish you did. Being beheaded right now is better than living with these horrible feelings.

“It’s plot. You should know what I’m talking about.”

Luckily, Marquiss Stan left the napkin so you could wipe your mouth again.

“I think the universe, not the gods, made a mistake with me. But despite their mistake, they are insistent on going with the plot laid out.”

You discarded the napkin. It’s already drenched with too much of your blood that it can’t be used anymore.

“But don’t worry. This plot is very beneficial to you. You just have to follow whatever you think is right. You can disregard whatever anyone says. Even if that anyone is a god.”

‘Unlike me’

Cale handed you a handkerchief and you wiped your mouth with it.

“Lastly, I’m sorry Raon Miru-nim. My only choice was to either keep torturing you or throw you out. I couldn’t throw you out, because if I did then you wouldn’t meet the young master.”

“It’s okay… I am great and mighty so I figured out long ago that you were being forced.”

“Thank you.”

With that the dragon became invisible again and the two head out of the room.

Cleanup was easy. Of course, it was. Everything was already planned out beforehand.

The previous marquis was arrested and his people were successfully rooted out. You got sentenced to house arrest.

Meaning, you got a slap on the wrist.

It confused you. Why did you get such a light sentence when you did so many horrible things? It didn’t even feel like house arrest because your hyung always kept you by his side and personally took care of you.

“How about you? How are you and your brother doing?”

You heard Cale speaking on the other side of the communication device. But you just kept your head low and stared at your palms, unmoving.

“That…”

Marquis Stan hesitated.

“His been listless since that day. I checked with an expert and they said his in a catatonic state.”

You blur out the rest of their conversation. It wasn’t like there was a need to listen anyway. There’s nothing for you to do now. Your role is done but you can’t die.

You're tired.

So so fucking tired.

Tired of waking up. Tired of moving. Tired of thinking. Tired of breathing.

Tired of living.

So you opted to not move. Tune out the world around you. Maybe if you’re lucky they’ll leave you to rot in that lavish room of yours.

“Your eyes look more lively today. Do you have enough energy to speak?”

You blinked once. Then twice. You don’t know how many days have passed already. All of them look like a giant blur in your mind.

For the first time in a while, you moved your body to look at your surroundings.

As you take in your surroundings you notice that there’s a storm outside. That and Taylor Stan seem to have put you in the wheelchair he used to use.

“Taylor Stan…”

“Call me hyung.”

Did you deserve to? Well, it doesn’t matter since he ordered you to.

“Hyung”

“Yes, my dongsaeng?”

“Why won’t you kill me?”

The wheelchair stopped in its tracks. It was because the one pushing it stopped walking.

“Why would I kill you?”

“Why would you not kill me?”

You had no way of knowing just how scared Taylor was at this moment. Your voice sounded so soulless. As if you were asking about the weather and not about your death. He was already scared that one day he would just wake up to find you dead. Your questions and your way of asking them are not helping his fear.

“I told you, I wouldn’t kill my family.”

“Ah…”

Silence lingered as the two of you went to your room. Inside, the first thing you noticed was the door on the wall.

“That’s a connecting door. It’s connected to my room.”

“Very fitting for a criminal like me that needs to be monitored at all times.”

“That’s not…”

Taylor Stan chose to sigh instead of answering. After he did, he called the servants to help you with your nighttime routine.

“You all can go now, I’ll take it from here.”

Servants filed out of your room as your brother took the brush from a servant's hand.

“You know that this is useless right?”

“Why is that?”

Taylor continued brushing your blonde hair that now reaches past your shoulders.

“It’s not like I’ll sleep. There’s never a night where I slept for more than 30 minutes. I think.”

“Maybe if I stay by your side you’ll sleep better.”

You didn’t respond. You just watched in the mirror how your hyung gently brushed your hair. At some point, you pulled your legs up to your chest and started hugging them.

Taylor Stan didn’t seem to mind your movements. In fact, he seems to encourage them.

“Let’s eat dinner now. Do you want to walk?”

“No.”

The mere thought of moving more than you already did makes you feel nauseated.

Your hyung nodded and started pushing the wheelchair again. As he did the sight of the food prepared on your table caught your eyes. It wasn’t a feast like how you were served in the past.

Instead, there were just two simple identical meals on the table.

It reminded you of how you used to eat your meals back on earth.

“You’re eating too?”

“I haven’t eaten yet. I figure we can eat together since Cage is not here.”

She must be in the super rock’s villa or something.

Eat together was what you did. Well, more like Taylor ate while you take a few bites and play with your food.

“Do you not want to eat anymore?”

“No.”

“It’s fine, just leave it there. You already ate thrice more than you usually would. It’s okay to take it slow.”

That’s true. You ate 10 spoonfuls today when you would usually just take a bite or two. Three at most.

Maybe a gentle company and a simple meal did the trick. But you aren’t sure.

After the meal, you brushed your teeth before lying down on the bed. Taylor was sitting on a couch beside your bed as promised.

That night, for the first time since you arrived in this world, you managed to sleep almost the whole night.

158 notes · View notes

scoonsalicious · 6 months ago

Text

6.1 Bucky

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of sex, nudity, Bucky's lies come back to bite his ass.

Please note: I'll be taking a break from posting starting on Thursday, May 16th to focus on writing, and will resume posting on Thursday, May 23rd.

Word Count: 1.1k

Previously On...: Porn. The last chapter was porn.

A/N: Sorry, besties; not sure what happened. I set this up to post at 445 per usual, and when I came back on, I saw it still hadn't gone up, so I'm doing it manually. I apologize for this screw up!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Bucky woke the next morning in a tangle of sheets and Major. He had to pee, but he didn’t want to get up. God, he never wanted to get up. If he could stay wrapped up with her like this, for the rest of his life, he thought, he would die happy. The very idea struck him like a brick– he’d given a lot of thought to his own death over the years, but never, not once, did he ever consider the possibility that he might actually die happy until this very moment.

If she was in his life when he went, he realized, he very well could.

Major shifted in her sleep and snuggled further into Bucky’s chest with a contented sigh, and he felt his heart swell. If he wasn’t careful, at the rate his feelings were going, he was at risk of proposing to her before lunch.

After about fifteen more minutes of blissfully watching Major sleep in his arms, Bucky couldn’t hold off his bladder any longer. Gently extricating himself from Major’s embrace so as not to disturb her, he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before heading to the bathroom.

After he’d finished and washed his hands, he made his way back toward Major’s bed. As he passed by the string of clothes he’d discarded the night before, he heard a buzzing coming from his pants. He reached down and pulled his phone from his pocket, checking the caller ID.

Lily. Again.

Bucky sighed and took himself back to the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind him as he accepted the call.

“Hey, Lil, what’s up?” he asked, sitting down on the edge of Major’s whirlpool tub.

“Hey, Jamie,” she said, and Bucky could immediately tell something was wrong. She sounded… off, distressed. “Listen,” she continued, “I know you and Sam probably had a late night last night, and I hate bothering you…”

“What’s wrong, Lil?” Bucky asked, growing concerned now.

“Well, I drove out to Langston Park to run the trails,” Lily began, “and I don’t know if I ran over a nail or had a slow leak, or what, but when I got back to the car, my tire was flat. I was kind of hoping you could meet me up here and help me change it?”

Bucky ran a hand over his stubble. “Shit,” he said. “You know I would in a heartbeat, Lil, but–”

“No, yeah,” Lily interrupted him. “It’s fine, don’t worry. I’m sure someone will drive by and I can flag them down for help–”

“Lily Anne McIntyre, you are not going to wave down a stranger and just hope that they’re not a murderer or a rapist,” Bucky said into the phone, a little louder than he intended. “Listen, I’m on my way, but I’m in the city, so it’s going to take me a little while, okay? Just… just stay in your car with the doors locked until I get there.”

“Oh my gosh, thank you so much, Jamie!” Lily’s voice was full of relief. “You’re my hero! I owe you, big time!”

Bucky cracked a smile. “Yeah, yeah,” he said. “Give me about forty-five minutes to get to you, okay? And remember, lock. your. doors.”

“I promise,” Lily agreed before ending the call.

Bucky stood up from the edge of the tub and went back into the bedroom and quietly put his clothes back on. Sitting down at the edge of Major’s side of the bed, he leaned down and began pressing kisses to her shoulder and collarbone until she stirred and started to stretch.

With a lazy moan that sent the blood straight to Bucky’s dick, Major sleepily blinked her eyes open. “Why are you wearing so many clothes?” she asked him, her voice seductively husky with sleep. “Come back to bed.”

Bucky wanted to. Oh god, he really, really wanted to. “I’m so sorry, sugar,” he told her, leaning down to give her a proper kiss.

“Bucky,” she laughed, pulling back from him, “I just woke up; I’m sure I have horrible morning breath.”

“Like I would ever care.” He cupped her face in his hands and brought his lips to hers, gently running his tongue along her lips so she opened her mouth to him.

After a long moment, they broke apart, and Bucky rested his forehead against hers. “I don’t want to leave you,” he said softly. “But I’ve got to go.”

Major nuzzled her cheek against his. “So, don’t,” she murmured. “Stay.”

Bucky sighed. “I can’t. Lily’s got a flat tire; she’s waiting on me to come help her change it.”

Major let out a puff of air through her lips. “Well, give me five minutes to get dressed and I can come with you,” she offered hopefully.

“I’d love that, doll,” Bucky said, frowning, “but Lily’s still pissed off about the bar and…” he ran a hand behind his neck, suddenly realizing how stupid this was going to sound, “I haven’t told her I’ve been seeing you.”

The change that came over Major was nearly imperceptible, but Bucky clocked it, all the same. Her eyes narrowed, her shoulders tensed and she pulled back from him by a hair.

“So,” Major began slowly, “where did she think you were last night when she called you, then? You said you’d already told her what you were up to. If she didn’t know you were with me, what did she think you were doing?”

“I told her I was having a guys’ night out in the city with Sam,” Bucky admitted, hating himself now for even deeming the lie necessary in the first place.

“I see.” The words were clipped, Major’s voice void of any emotion, and Bucky knew he’d fucked up. Immensely. “Well, you better get going, then, if Lily’s waiting on you.”

“Major.” Bucky put a hand on her arm, but she got up out of the bed, dragging the topsheet with her to wrap around herself and keep her body covered from him, as if now, suddenly, after everything they’d already done together, she no longer wanted him to see her naked. “Can we just–”

“You should go, Bucky,” she said again, not meeting his eye, and Bucky felt like absolute shit.

“Can I call you later?” he asked, and he heard the note of desperation in his own voice, but Major just shrugged a shoulder. He tried to lean in to her to give her a kiss goodbye, but she stood there, still as a statue, so he simply pressed his lips to her forehead and sighed before showing himself to the door.

He’d fucked up. He’d fucked up, and he’d blown it. She’d probably never want to see him again, and honestly, could he blame her? He’d lied about being with her, like she was some kind of dirty secret. Sam had been right, though Bucky would never admit it to him. Why was he letting Lily’s opinion dictate how he lived his life?

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

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carminecherry · 1 month ago

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RAIN STAINED CRIMSON | mikey sano

this is part five of the series kill the lights

⇝ PAIRING: timeskip!biker!mikey sano x fem!reader

⇝ SERIES SYNOPSIS: after moving by yourself to tokyo, you black out at a party and wake up with a new friend. as she sweeps you up in her fast-paced city life, you feel yourself falling deeper and deeper for her mysterious brother. but something dark is brewing in the city. as his past threatens to resurface, mikey must fight not only physical enemies but the mental battle of his feelings for you. he can't resist you , but could he ever forgive himself if something happened to you? he'll love you selfishly and protect you savagely.

⇝ PART FIVE LENGTH: 3.6k words

⇝ PART FIVE WARNINGS: violence, injury, blood, distress (18+ minors do not interact):

all characters are 20+; Alternate Universe! Canon Divergent. you meet up with emma for another coffee date and get the debrief. however, on the way back to your apartment, the comfortable life that you've known will be stained in darkness. there is a world of suffering that has never touched your life until now... something is set into motion and nothing will be the same.

⇝ AUTHOR'S NOTE: this one was pretty heavy to write. happy spooky month but please take care of yourself! more chapters coming soon! keep an eye on the tags and stay safe! <3

DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS WORK IF YOU ARE A MINOR. BY CLICKING THE READMORE, YOU CONSENT TO VIEWING ADULT CONTENT.

You woke to rain. The droplets tapping on your window, drawing you out of sleep. The sound is barely louder than the hum of your AC. It was peaceful. The darkness the thick clouds provided left you dozing in and out for a few more minutes. The sky was churning shades of black and gray, thick like torn wool. The gentle patter of the droplets didn’t match the scene.

You finally rise, starting your routine. Your phone is your companion this morning, as your TV screen sits, black. There was still a gnawing feeling after the news stories yesterday. Two violent attacks in one day are highly irregular, at least here in the city. You knew your mental health would suffer more if you shuttered yourself inside for a second day. Seeing Emma would be good. Surely, her sunshiny personality would wash away some of the anxiety prodding you for attention.

You leave, locking the door behind you. The rainy weather provided some relief to the heat of the previous week. It came in gentle waves, washing over you and your umbrella. The commute to the café was uneventful. You had a dutifulness that kept you from burying your nose in your phone like you would normally do. You watched the world pass by out of the train window, thin streams of water chasing each other. With each droplet the stream acquired, it grew fatter and heavier, rushing across the pane. You entertained yourself with this as you approached your stop, placing bets on which stream would win.

Emma was waiting for you near the ticket gate. She lit up when she saw you and you already started to feel better, your shoulders relaxing. You tap your train card to exit and the moment you’re through the gate her arms are around you. You’re starting to acclimate to Emma’s physical affection. “It’s so good to see you!” she says, swaying with you. “You too! I’m glad to see you’re in one piece” Releasing you, she whines, “I thought I was gonna die yesterday!”

You begin the short walk to the café. “I thought you were gonna die two nights ago. How come it hit you so hard anyways. I thought you were some crazy party girl, shouldn’t you know your limits by now” You tease. At that, she taps her umbrella into yours, the droplets shaking off. “You see, it’s because I’m a ‘party girl’ that I willingly surpass those limits, my friend. Often.” With that, the two of you arrive at the café.

It's quaint, tucked under the train tracks. The old brick is covered in thick ivy that hangs heavy with rain water. You push open the door, greeted with cool air and the smell of freshly ground coffee. The grinder hummed pleasantly, the sound of soft music mingling with the ambient noise. Your eye is caught by the source of the music; a vintage record player. There is natural wood throughout and dark, warm accents.

It was cozy and small with only a few other people seated at the counter. One typing away at their laptop, another lost in the pages of a fat novel. You tried to peek at the cover to no avail as you approached the counter and ordered. There are two worn leather sofas near the front window, the ivy from outside giving some natural privacy. The two of you sit there, sinking into the seats. You chat, waiting for your drinks. You feel at peace

***

“I can’t believe I did that!” She said, burying her face in her hands. “It’s all good, I think Mikey and Draken took care of it.” You say, taking a sip of your iced coffee. “On my LIFE, I’m swearing off liquor!” You look at her incredulously. She flicks some of the condensation water from her glass at you. “At least until next weekend.” She compromises. “Speaking of, there’s an event at a club I promote at. I get plus three if you want on the list.”

This grabs your attention, “Really? That sounds like a lot of fun! I’d totally be down. What’s the vibe?” “It’s a hip-hop place, they want more cute girls in there to drum up drink sales. Basically, we just go, shake ass, and get free drinks from guys that pay the event markup. The club makes a fat stack and we party for free.” She says devilishly.

You could get on board with that. It’d been ages since you’d gone clubbing. You used to be a bit of a club rat in your university years. You imagine that clubbing in the city would be more fun than at the grungy college clubs you used to frequent. A question popped into your head, “You said plus three, are you going to invite anyone else?” “Yeah, Senju already said yes. I wish I could’ve introduced you at the party. I know you guys are gonna get along great. I also invited Yuzuha. She’s gonna try to make it work with her schedule.” Emma says thoughtfully pulling out her phone. You nod, the prospect of making more female friends is exciting.

Emma turns her screen to you, displaying a pretty girl with short, fluffy, white-bleached hair. She’s pixie-like with small defined features. “This is Senju” Emma says, swiping through a few pictures on her social media page. “And this is Yuzuha.” Emma turns her phone back to you. Yuzuha is more mature in appearance, sensual. She has long, silky, coppery hair that falls over her shoulders. “They’re so pretty.” You say, awestruck, unable to look away from the pictures as she scrolled through Yuzuha’s feed. “Wait till you see them in person.” She winks.

“I’ll make a group chat later so we can coordinate and you can add them.” She says, placing her phone on the table. She laced her fingers together and rested her chin on them. “So, you and Mikey?” She says, a glint in her eye. Catching you mid-sip and off guard. You choke on your drink, some of it going down the wrong way. As you cough you manage, “What do you mean?”

She laughs, a twinkling sound that cuts through the buttery air of the moody café. “You’re too easy to read. How charming~” The compliment adds to the redness in your face as you get your coughing fit under control. “No, I’m not.” You counter, doing your best to pull a stoic expression. She laughs in your face again. “You’re blushing ! Too cute, trying to be serious.” She gushes, your face growing hotter.

“I mean, he gave me a ride home if that’s what you mean.” Turning to your drink for a distraction. “Boo~ you’re so boring. I’m talking about at the party. Gimme the goss.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You half mean it. You didn’t want to tell Emma about your dark fantasies about her brother . “Don’t be like that~'' She teased, the look in her eye told you she had something in mind. “Why? Did you hear something?” “You. Mikey. Sofa.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Oh, I mean we talked.” She hummed incredulously. “No, really. We just talked about bikes and stuff.” “Boooooring.” She huffs, thudding into the leather of the sofa as she reclines. “I thought it was gonna be something juicy. I heard you had him wrapped around your finger.” Your mind raced to replay the evening. In what way shape or form had you had that man “wrapped around your finger”.

“You should check your source. I think they might’ve mixed us up with the couple on the sofa before us.” You pictured the pair again, their hot and heavy conversation. “He was practically inside of her before Mikey showed up.” Now this piqued Emma’s interest as she sat up from the sofa, leaning across the table to you, a conspiratorial look in her eye.

What had his name been? “Yeah, it was some guy Mikey knew, his name was like Hakk- something.” “Hakkai?!” Emma supplied excitedly. You shot her a finger gun, “That’s it! Blue hair, mouth scar.” You dragged your finger across your lips tracing the phantom scar the blue-haired man sported. “And she was GORGEOUS. Long brown hair, big,” You gesture to your chest, mimicking the woman’s endowment. “She was like on top of him. A houseplant might not have been the only thing Yuuki would be replacing if you catch my drift” The thought of cleaning velvet makes you cringe. “Once she saw Mikey she switched it up pretty quick though.” Remembering the way she had fawned under his gaze.

Emma made a face and snatched up her phone, “No. Way. Is this her?” Emma showed you a picture of the woman from the sofa, but in this picture she was in the arms of a different tattooed man. Another solid 10. “Yeah, that’s her!” You confirm. Emma makes a noise, fingers flying across her screen as she types a message to someone.

“That’s Sera. Not to not be a girl's girl, but she’s a total wannabe and a homie-hopper. Hakkai should know better than that. I miss when he couldn’t even look at women.” You nod, soaking in the tea. Picturing a little Hakkai freezing up when a girl tried to talk to him was an endearing image. One in stark contrast to what you’d seen on Friday. “She’s been trying to get with Mikey for ages and she won’t take no for an answer. I guess fucking all of his friends is her plan B.”

You hum. You’d met your fair share of fuck boys and girls in university. After hooking up with a couple of them you decided that you preferred to stay out of the drama. “I guess that explains some things. They cleared out after he saw Mikey.” You sip thoughtfully, nearing the end of your drink. Remembering how Mikey hadn’t acknowledged the pretty brunette’s presence. It was starting to make more sense now. “That tracks” Emma replied, her phone buzzing but she makes no move to check it.

She finishes her drink, the ice settling as she returns the glass to its coaster. She runs her fingers up and down the side, tracing a pattern in the condensation. “Well, whenever you’re ready to talk about what happened with you and Mikey, let me know. He’s been acting weird all weekend” She said in a teasing tone. “Nothing. Happened.” You impress upon her. Tucking that crumb of information she tacked on at the end in your pocket.

“Whatever you say~” She shrugs, finally checking her phone. She smiles rising from the sofa. “Mikey usually doesn’t let anyone on the back of his precious bike. So do with it what you will.” Two crumbs in your pocket. Your blush returns. You try to turn from Emma but it’s too late. She snickers.

“Let’s do this again, next Sunday. We can have ‘Sundates’.” She proposes. “I’d like that.” You smile moving to exit. “I’ve got some errands to run out here so I’ll split after we get to the station.” You nod. The two of you call back a ‘thank you’ to the barista as the bell above the door jingles.

You say your goodbyes at the station and board the train. The rain falls harder now, in heavy sheets that pelt the windows of your train car. The train lurches to a stop one station before your home station. The doors open to the platform and an announcement plays, “Due to extreme weather conditions, the service on this train line will be temporarily suspended. We apologize for any inconvenience.” The message plays on a loop and you curse how close you were to getting home.

You weigh your options. Truthfully, it wasn’t a far walk. Maybe 15 minutes. The platform grew more crowded as people retreated from the rain. The growing crowd made you nervous and you decided a 15 minute walk is preferable to elbowing your way onto a packed muggy train when it does start running again. You ready your umbrella and venture out into the storm. Thunder clapped loud enough to shake the trees, a sprinkle of extra water added to the downpour you were battling. It was amazing how loud just the rain was.

Your visibility was poor and you were having second thoughts about this adventure. You were about halfway at this point, too late to turn back. Over the sound of the rain you heard something. A voice. You stop dead in your tracks, frantically looking for the source. Again, a voice cried out. The pain in the voice sliced through the deafening rain. Your body was moving before you could think. If you had, you probably would’ve frozen. You round a corner, carelessly splashing through the puddles in the sidewalk. You’re met with an alley, tucked between two large buildings, the space somewhat sheltered from the rain.

It was then you saw a figure crumpled on the ground and a larger one standing over them. The larger figure, a man, loomed over them. His dark hoodie drenched in rain. Your eyes scanned down his back and landed on the knife in their gloved hand. The blade reflected back a sickening red. Your body starts to shake. You want to run, to disappear. The body on the ground curled into the fetal position and cried out again.

“Help! Someone. Please.” Their voice cracking. The gurgle in their words made your stomach twist. The hooded figure stomped them once, then again. The wounded cried out with each impact. “ Oi oi- .” The attacker punctuated each blow. “It’s no fun if you don’t fight back~” His tone was saccharin and sing-songy. It makes your skin crawl. “I swear I didn’t-” The attacker kicked them hard in the stomach. The sound of retching pushing you over your fear threshold. “ If you’re gonna FUCK around you better be ready to find OUT! ” The hooded man’s deep voice echoes off the walls.

Now was the time to act. You could slip away unnoticed, pretend none of this ever happened, or better yet, call the police and have them sort it out. But in your heart you knew that if something didn’t happen now, that person was going to die. Thunder crashed again and you took a deep breath, forcing your body to move. Your eyes land on a pile of trash, tied up for pick up. Next to the bags you see a rusted pipe. You wrap your fingers around it, wet and grimy. You test its weight in your hand, dropping your umbrella, breaking into a sprint. The hooded figure stooped, coming to kneel over the smaller who tried to crawl away. He raised the knife.

CRACK! It was a sick, wet sound as you brought the pipe down on the man’s head. His body went limp on top of the figure below. You kick the knife hard and far into a pile of trash bags before grabbing the wet material of his hoodie and heaving him off and away from the other. You step, splashing a puddle that stains the hem of your pants red. You rush over, kneeling next to the injured figure, their body shaking harder than yours. You let the pipe drop. The figure crawls to you, hugging your legs with little strength. You see now he’s just a boy. No older than 18. His lip trembles, tears pouring from his eyes. He looks so scared.

You move to cradle him, your body blocking the rain. “T-thank you.” He cries weakly. You nod, the lump in your throat prevents you from responding. You look him up and down, your vision blurring through the tears. You count 2 stab wounds to his chest and stomach. The red is spreading through the material of his T-shirt faster than you care for. You manage, “I’m going to call for an ambulance. Can you press on the wound?” You wiggle to free your phone from your pocket, fighting the water on your screen to dial the emergency number. “Which one?” He tries to chuckle before wincing. He still has a sense of humor, that’s a good sign. You hit the speakerphone button as the line starts ringing.

It quickly connects and you steady your voice, telling the operator, “Hello! Please, I need help. There’s been a stabbing, um..” You look around, realizing you don’t actually know where you are, “Are you at the location now?” the operator asks, she has a soothing voice. “Yes!” You say ardently. “Alright, I have your location on my screen now, we have emergency service vehicles on their way to you, but it’s going to be a few minutes. Are you with the victim now?” “Yes, I’m here, he’s here. He, uh, he has at least two stab wounds to the torso.” You tell her frantically. The words feel strange and clinical.

“Okay miss, we’re going to apply pressure to the wound. I want you to look for something you can use, like a towel or blanket.” You look around the dirty alley. “Nothing, there’s nothing.” You say, a sob escaping. “That’s alright, so what we’re going to do is, I want you to use your hands to apply pressure.” “I-I am. I’m doing that.” “Good, you’re doing great. EMS is almost at your location.”

The stab wound in his chest seems to open further as the red seeps between your fingers. You quickly adjust your hands to apply more pressure to the wound, wiping your tears on your sleeve. “Please tell them to hurry.” You say pathetically, more tears streaking down your face. He starts to fade, his eyes fluttering “No. Stay with me.” You say firmly.

He’s fighting. He locks eyes with you, “I don’t want to die.” He whispers, voice cracking. “Please, please, please.” You mutter, each a prayer that EMS will arrive. “I’m scared.” He says with a strangled voice. “I’m here with you. I’m here.” You cry. “ Mom .” He begs. You hear from your phone, “We’re going to do this together. EMS is a minute away. Hang in there” You hear a groan as the hooded figure reanimates. The boy sobs out, his limp body unable to move. “Please, please, please.” You pray. The hooded figure groans again, bringing a hand to his head.

“Miss, I need you to talk to me, what’s going on?” You hear the operator ask. “Police! We need the police. The man, he’s waking up.” You squeak, your veins feeling electric. Then you hear them. Sirens in the distance. “Police are on their way, miss. They’re almost there. You’re doing so well.” The operator encourages.

The hooded figure pushes himself up feeling around. He sees the two of you, his masked face streaked with blood. His or the boys you couldn’t be sure, “ You bitch. ” He says venomously, his golden eyes searing into you. The sirens are so close. “Please.” You beg the universe. He looks around once more, seeming to hesitate before he takes off; staggering out of the alley. Your eyes follow after him, sure you'll see him reappear.

The body in your arms slackens. “No!” You cry, jostling the boy. “No, please.” You move again to adjust the pressure. You see them from the other end of the alley, the flashing lights of the ambulance.

What happens after is all a blur. You lean back on the wall of the alley, watching them work. You can’t look at your hands but you feel the warm liquid growing cold and sticky. He has a pulse, you gather from the paramedics. He lost so much blood, too much blood. They load him into the back of the ambulance and they are gone.

You don’t remember when, but the police must have arrived. You feel a blanket being wrapped around your shoulders as you're led to a police car. “Yes. No.” Those are the only words that remain in your vocabulary. “Miss, are you injured?” “No.” "We're going to have the paramedics check you, okay?" "Yes." “We're going to take you to the station the station to help us file the report, are you able to do that?” “Yes.” “Is there anyone we can call for you?” “No.”

You don’t know how long you were at the station. How many questions you answered. You hear word that the boy was in serious condition at the hospital but doctors were hopeful. They said you saved him but it hardly felt like it. There was a familiar hole in your chest. How long has it been since this old friend visited you? You let the world move around you, there was a child-like comfort in releasing control to someone else. That a parent knows best and will act in your favor.

A police woman, perhaps a decade your senior, takes you to another room. She has kind eyes and her touch is soft. She helps you change out of your clothes. She told you they would be evidence. She uses warm, wet rags to clean you. You sit there and let her gently wipe between your fingers. She is attentive and steady. She moves slowly, like you're something fragile. Right now, you are. The minutes tick away before she is dressing you in a light, baggy shirt and sweatpants that are a bit too big. You let yourself be led to a police car. The edges of the sky taking on that luminous blue that previews sunrise.

You ride in silence. It’s not long before you are home. The engine is turned off and the officer exits the car, opening the door for you. He offers you an arm and you take it. “If you need anything. Please call or message me. Any time.” He hands you a crisp, white business card. You pocket it, quietly thanking him. He walks you to your door and makes sure you get in safely. You stand in your entryway, back against your door until you hear the car pull away. You slide down the wall and sit there. The smell of the cheap, plastic shoes from the police station is unpleasant. Still, you sit.

#mikey sano x reader #manjiro sano x reader #manjiro x you #mikey x reader #Mikey Sano #Mikey Sano smut #tokyo revengers x reader #tr x reader #tokyo revengers fanfiction #tr smut #tr x you #carminecherry fics

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cupidjyu · 11 months ago

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good for you

jacob x reader (requested by the one and only @zzoguri!!)

the 3 times you and jacob could have had something more and the 1 time you actually did.

genre: best friends to lovers, university au, pining by mostly jacob, confessions, misunderstandings, mentioned exes, reader has abandonment issues oops, kissing for practice, cuddles, their love language is sleeping together, gentle kind understanding sweetie jacob notes: i hope you enjoy this !!! i loved writing this request!!! <33 and again, im sorry this took so long :( see you whenever i can! word count: 14.7k

“You’re a lifesaver,” You groaned once you noticed Jacob entering your dorm with a paper bag of freshly baked cookies in his hand. You jumped off your bed, slightly crumpling the endless papers of notes laid out across your sheets. Stumbling over to where he was staring at you with concern, you clung to his arm, cupped his face with one hand, and pressed an obnoxiously loud kiss on his cheek.

“Is it that bad?” He stared at you, unimpressed.

“Yeah?” You narrowed your eyes at him before snatching the bag from him and bounding back to splay out your bed.

“Didn’t you say that you were going to stop eating sugar? Yesterday?” He followed you further into your dorm. He set down all of his things and put back all of the clutter that was laid out on your table and the floor. He knew where everything went after the countless times he’s lounged around here.

“Okay but I cannot stay awake without sugar and I have an exam tomorrow,” You grumbled, gesturing for him to sit next to you. You turned back to your computer, rolling onto your stomach and scrolling through the endless slideshows to try to pretend like you were retaining any information. Frankly, you were more focused on the delicious cookies melting in your mouth.

He shrugged, silently reaching over and organizing your papers. He knew that you often got stressed when your environment was messy. You made no effort to keep it clean though because he always did it for you.

“And how was your day, Cobie?” You mumbled, glancing at him briefly before turning back to your notes, You shifted slightly on the bed, allowing him space to lie down next to you.

“Boring. And you shouldn’t be studying on your bed, you know. You always fall asleep.”

You huffed. “Just because you’re my best friend doesn’t mean you have to dote on me.”

“You know I’m right.” He smirked.

“I won’t, I promise.”

“But you always fall asleep. Like last time.”

You rolled your eyes, burying your face in your arms. “Stop bringing that up. It’s been five years already.”

“But I’ll never forgive you for embarrassing me in front of Sunwoo.”

“C’mon, you always let him tease you anyway,” You retorted.

Your eyelids threatened to shut any minute now. You had managed to find a spot to finally escape the stress that was called high school responsibilities. It wasn’t the most comfortable spot though–against the brick wall of the building, sitting on the concrete floor. Still, you couldn’t care less, enjoying the sun that perfectly hit the side of your face as your uniform fluttered in the wind.

After that point, you didn’t know what happened until you woke up. But Jacob had vividly described it to you because he found it that amusing. Though, he always told the story with a fond smile on his face.

“Can you pass the ball?” Another student called out to you. His uniform was messy and crinkled after playing with his friends for so long. When he noticed no response, he jogged over to pick up the soccer ball that rolled over and knelt down. He snickered slightly, tilting his head to peer at you curiously. “That can’t be comfortable…” He muttered.

Silently, he contemplated what to do. Ultimately, he stood up. Not to leave you, but to kick the soccer ball back to his friends. Then, he turned back to you and gently lowered himself down to your side. Almost immediately, like a magnet, your head found its way to his shoulder and you were already dozing away. This time, with a lot less neck pain.

His lips quirked up as he played with his fingers quietly. He ignored his friends who were gesturing to him in the distance to come back, instead choosing to lean closer so you could sleep more comfortably.

But then he heard footsteps approaching.

“Oh, shit!” Sunwoo gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth after appearing from around the corner of the same brick wall.

Jacob jumped, waving with his hands frantically to tell his friend to go away. But Sunwoo only began to jump up and down in excitement.

“Shhhh–” Jacob whispered. “They’re sleeping.”

“You’re dating someo–”

“I don’t even know who the hell this is.”

You smiled to yourself, long roused awake.

You had already heard the whole conversation but found it all too amusing so you ended up pretending to sleep for a few more minutes. Once you were sure that his friend had wandered off somewhere else, you blinked your eyes open. The curiosity got the best of you as you slowly lifted your head up to peer at the mysterious student’s name tag. He’s got an amazing shoulder for a pillow.

“That’s a bit rude, Jacob.”

He jolted once again, turning to you in surprise. You smiled lazily back at him.

“You’re awake.”

“Yeah,” You yawned. “And thanks for your shoulder but also I don’t thank you for not even bothering to look at my nametag.”

“Even if I knew your name, I wouldn’t know who you are.”

“Fair,” You hummed. You looked him over. He had a friendly look to him. Gentle eyes, a nice-looking smile, and brown tousled hair that shone in the sun. “You look like a Jacob.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He raised an eyebrow. “You do know that I gave up my soccer time to let you sleep on my shoulder, right?”

“Shush.” You stuck your tongue out. “It’s not like I forced you to. You’re just too nice with your super nice smile.”

“I can’t tell if you're insulting me or complimenting me.”

“Both.” You leaned your head back against the wall with a tired sigh. Then you turned back to him with a mischievous smile before setting your hand out for him to shake it. “Friends?”

He blinked at you. And then he smiled back and took your hand in his. “Friends.”

“I’m tired of this,” You whispered, thumping your forehead against your now-closed computer.

“At least look this over.” He held out one of your papers, with a title clearly underlined with red. “Looks important.”

“It is but—“

“Just one,” He encouraged. “I’ll hold it for you.” And just as he said, he shuffled closer to you, holding the paper for you to read. You sighed but obliged, your eyes scanning over the words. Gradually though, the sentences began to grow blurrier and more jumbled. His arm looked awfully comfortable right now.

“Jacob,” You warned, turning to him. He stared curiously, his face surprisingly close to yours. “Jacob, I’m gonna go.”

“Go where?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“To sleep.” You grinned before slumping down. No longer were you propped up on your elbows. Instead, you laid down, your cheek squished against his forearm as you snuggled close to his body warmth.

You heard a disappointed yet fond sigh leave his lips. He put down the paper and cleared the bed of everything so you could properly cuddle up to his side.

“You always take care of me,” You mumbled quietly. “Why?”

And for some reason, even with your eyes closed, you could sense his soft smile—the one with the gentle gaze and warm cheeks.

“Because you deserve it.”

—

“You flunked it, didn’t you?” Jacob grinned, standing up from where he was leaning against the wall. “I told you to stop studying on your bed.”

You scowled, walking alongside him. “You shouldn’t have waited for me, I’m getting coffee with a friend.”

He smiled wider. “Right now?”

You froze, staring at him sheepishly. You shifted on your feet. “…no. But soon.”

He hummed. “Good, cause I’m giving you this.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a necklace. It was beautiful with an opal charm in the middle.

You stared at it with awe in your eyes and then turned your gaze up to Jacob. Already, you could feel tears prick your vision at which he only chuckled at the sight.

“Don’t cry,” He giggled, reaching an arm around you to pull you close to his chest.

“Why?” You pouted. “Did I miss my own birthday or something?”

“No,” He laughed. “I just wanted to give it to you. I thought of you when I saw it.”

You narrowed your eyes through sniffles before slapping his chest weakly. “How much was it?”

He shook his head. “It was on sale, so it was cheap.”

You nodded before lightly touching your own bare neck. You smiled at your best friend.

“I want to put it on,” You stated, reaching your hand out.

“Okay,” He whispered. But instead of placing the necklace in your palm, he stepped forward and reached his arms around your neck to clasp it on himself. He moved any strands of hair that were in the way, his fingertips just grazing over the back of your neck. You shivered and stayed completely still, staring straight ahead into his chest with wide eyes.

It felt like hours but he finally stepped back with a soft smile.

“I knew it would suit you.”

You beamed. Just before you were about to say anything else, you heard a voice call out your name. It was your friend, standing just meters away waving excitedly.

“I have to go,” You said, looking at Jacob with bright eyes.

“See you at your dorm?” He joked.

You thought for a moment before nodding. “Sure, I’ll bring ramen.”

“I was jok—“

“Still, I need my pillow to sleep on tonight.”

“My arm or my chest?” He lifted an eyebrow.

“Still deciding!” You called out, running towards your friend. You skipped over to her and immediately started rambling about your new necklace.

“It’s pretty!” She fawned. “Sometimes I think you’re actually dating.”

You gawked and immediately started laughing. “No! That’s— that’s so wrong.”

She blinked at you, completely confused.

“Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

It was stuck in your head–what your friend said. He looked at you like any completely normal person. He always had a friendly, caring expression on his face simply because that was his nature. There was nothing different and nothing more in your relationship except friendship.

You couldn’t focus on that anymore though since you were now caught up in a game of truth or dare. After exams, the whole floor of your dorm decided to gather for a party. You hated going alone and so of course, you had to bring Jacob.

The two of you tried to sit together on the floor but quickly became separated by the amount of people crowded into one room. You frowned, settling onto the floor next to two complete strangers.

Help me, You mouthed to him.

He shrugged. Wanna leave? He mouthed back.

You shook your head. This will be fun.

He nodded and turned his attention back to the bottle spinning in the middle of the circle, about to choose its first victim. It slowly came to a stop, landing on a guy who you remembered his name to be Sangyeon. He was nice. He once let you borrow his umbrella.

“Truth or dare?” Eric leaned excitedly.

“Dare.”

“I dare you to… text the person you have a crush on and ask them out on a date!”

Sangyeon’s eyes widened in horror. Reluctantly, he pulled out his phone and soon, it was like the whole population was crowding around him, cheering giddily when Sangyeon began to text a message.

You locked eyes with Jacob who’s across the room, obviously out of place. You smiled with amusement and silently shuffled over to him.

“I don’t get this game,” He grumbled.

“You don’t get any fun. You only like soccer and basketball since you’re so good at it.” A familiar image appeared in your mind of Jacob, left only in the white dress shirt of his school uniform, wiping sweat off his forehead as he easily shot a goal.

“Thanks.” Jacob grinned stupidly.

“I wasn’t complimenting you.”

“Alright.” He eyed you skeptically. “So can we please not get separated again?”

“We can try,” You mumbled. Without a warning, your hand trailed down to his, grabbing hold of it and placing your intertwined hands in your lap. He stared at it briefly before clearing his throat and looking away.

“Is that the most effective way?” He muttered.

“I said I’d try,” You whined, your eyes traveling over to where the crowd around Sangyeon began to dissipate back into its circle. You were confident that no one would notice that you had switched places. But of course, Sunwoo, who was so adamant about going to the exact same college as Jacob because he “admires him so much” (he actually just wanted someone to pay for his meals occasionally), noticed your connected hands.

“No PDA!” He dramatically yelled, covering his eyes with his hands. Everyone immediately turned to look at the two of you.

Jacob immediately pulled his hand out of your grasp almost like you burned him. You groaned and glared at Sunwoo.

“And go back to your normal seat,” Sunwoo smiled teasingly. “Get off your boyfriend for just a minute.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” You gritted out, standing up and stalking back to your original seat. You plopped back down on the floor and stared at Jacob with clear anger in your gaze.

He’s annoying. You glanced at the smug boy who was still smiling proudly over the fact that he separated two perfectly normal best friends.

Tell me about it. Jacob rolled his eyes, leaning back against his palms as his eyes wandered down to where the bottle was spinning again. This time, it landed on the stranger next to you. He wasn’t bad-looking and had a polite aura to him.

Eric gasped excitedly. “Juyeon! Truth or dare?”

The man thought for a second, humming. His voice was deep, you realized.

“Dare?”

Almost instantly, Eric was leaning forward. He must have rehearsed this dare like his life depended on it. “Kiss the person on the left of you.”

It took Juyeon a while to process what Eric just said. But when he finally did, he whipped his head to look at you with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. You stared back, completely bewildered.

“That’s cruel,” You groaned, staring at Eric in disbelief. “We don’t even know each other that well.”

“Fine,” Eric huffed. “On the cheek at least.”

Juyeon continued to stare at you, his gaze gentle and understanding. “Sorry,” He whispered sheepishly. “I can’t drink this one off. I’m a huge lightweight.”

You shook your head with a kind smile. “It’s fine. Just get it over with.”

Juyeon nodded and he leaned in. You turned your head slightly so that he wouldn’t have to twist his neck in an awkward position. Just as you were about to focus on the lips being pressed to your cheek, your gaze locked with someone else’s. More specifically, Jacob’s.

Your breath hitched and your heart seized. There was something different about his gaze. It was filled with a flame and you could see that his jaw was clenched ever so slightly. His hands fidgeted as his eyes stared straight into yours, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

It felt like time had slowed down. You watched as he leaned forward, propped his elbows on his knees, and tilted his head, obviously annoyed. Over what? You weren’t too sure. But you could see through the way his jaw tightened further that something was genuinely bothering him. Yet why was he only looking at you?

You were so focused on Jacob that you didn’t even realize that Juyeon was already pulling away.

Everyone in the room was cheering over the measly cheek kiss but it all felt silent to you. Your ears began to ring as you stared straight at Jacob, his eyes filled with a clear anger tinged with a small bit of hurt.

You tilted your head worriedly.

Are you okay?

He blinked, his eyes softening. It was like what came over him just magically disappeared. Yeah.

You stared at him quietly before nodding. One more and then we leave.

He eagerly agreed, his head bobbing much like a puppy’s. You huffed out a laugh. You should have never dragged him out with you.

“Who’s next?” Eric spoke up loudly. Everyone’s attention turned back to the bottle that was spinning. You held your breath watching as it slowly came to a stop. You turned your gaze up to see who it was pointing at and—

You winced.

Jacob stared at you with wide eyes before pointing at himself. You nodded with a grimace.

Sorry.

He shook his head with a smile before turning to face Eric who was practically brimming with excitement.

“Truth or dare?”

Jacob sighed. “Truth.”

Eric groaned. “Boring. But fine, I can make this fun.”

Jacob waited patiently. He was always patient—so patient that it annoyed you. You were always the one to tease and annoy him yet he took it like it was his sole job. Even if you could tell he was getting ticked off, he continued to smile and play along.

“Don’t you want to see my performance?” You twirled in your new outfit.

Jacob shook his head. “Not now, I have an art project due. You look pretty though.”

And you should have stopped there and said thank you. But instead, you continued to cling onto him and ramble in his ear.

At some point, in a flash of color, you knocked over the cup that Jacob used to wash his paintbrushes.

You watched in horror as it spilled over his painting. He only stared silently.

“I-I’m sorry, Cobie,” You whispered.

“It’s fine,” He muttered, standing up and picking up the soaking-wet canvas. “I’ll just go dry it off.”

You gulped, searching his face for any sort of frustration. He definitely looked disappointed but… nothing else.

“Wait.” You stopped him, your hand coming to his wrist. You promptly ignored the cold feeling of the water that spilled over your new clothes as well.“Are you mad? Let me make it up to you. I can do the whole project for you if you want.”

Jacob turned to you, his expression blank. But much to your surprise, his face softened into a reassuring smile, his gaze gentle and warm. He set the canvas down and stepped forward, pulling you closer in the process.

“No,” He whispered. “You make everything look more beautiful anyway.” He turned to look at where the canvas which was previously plain and gray, was now splashed with a mix of colors.

You frowned. “But—“

“I’m more mad that your new clothes are ruined.” He paused, stepping back and looking you over. Then, he scrunched his nose teasingly. “It was pretty.”

“Jacob,” You huffed. How could he be so unbothered by this? You ruined his project that he had been working on for days yet he was more worried over you? “This is not about me.”

His eyes sparkled.

“I can always make it about you.”

“Okay! I got one!” Eric exclaimed, sitting up. “If you could date anyone in this room, who would it be?”

Everyone fell silent, staring at Jacob like curious cats. You weren’t any different, desperately wanting to know his answer. Jacob never spoke about his dating life. In fact, whenever you asked him if he had a crush on anyone, he would immediately reply no.

Much to your dismay, he didn’t say a word. His lips were shut as he stared around the room like a deer in headlights.

“So?” Sunwoo pried.

Jacob gulped, his cheeks slowly turning red. And then his eyes landed on yours. When you stared back, he instantly tore his gaze away. But you quickly noticed a pattern. He would look at something, then back at you, at something else, and then back at you.

Your breath hitched.

Why are you looking at me?

He widened his eyes and adamantly stared at the floor instead. I’m not, You could see him whisper to himself. The two of you always had conversations across the classroom during your high school days, hence your great skill of reading lips.

Jacob, you have to answer.

I can’t—

“It’s Y/n isn’t it?” Eric finally spoke up, wiggling his eyebrows with a knowing look.

His head shot up and his eyebrows furrowed. “I didn’t even say anything.”

“You were looking.”

“No, I—“ He groaned, his cheeks reddening further by the minute. “I was looking because I always look for them. Not because I would date them.”

Sunwoo snorted. “Do you hear yourself?”

“What?”

“I always look for them.”

Jacob froze. And now, he refused to look you in the eye. “I…”

“Hey,” You spoke up with a frown on your face. “He doesn’t want to answer, let him off. It’s obviously not me.”

Jacob’s gaze wandered to yours. There was a sparkle behind his pupils this time, his lips parting as if he’d been keeping a secret all of his life.

“But it is you.”

You inhaled sharply. Tension filled the air, thick enough that even Juyeon stiffened next to you. Eric had grown quiet which was a very rare occurrence and Sunwoo’s jaw was dropped.

You forced yourself to shake out of your trance. Abruptly, you stood up and grabbed your things.

“We’re leaving.” You forced a weak smile. “Have fun!” You tried to wish a farewell but instead, your voice came out shaky.

You didn’t even need to look back. Jacob was always behind you.

The walk back to your dorm was painfully quiet. You walked down the hallway, your fists painfully clenched as you periodically squinted your eyes and tried to make any sense of what Jacob had just said. You were filled with a jumble of emotions–a wave of immoral anger for Eric to ask such a question to lead up to this situation in the first place, a relief that you finally escaped that tension-filled party, but most of all, confusion over the fact that Jacob, your best friend of multiple years, had just said he would date you.

When you finally reached your dorm, you took in a sharp breath before whipping around. Jacob, who was biting his lip nervously, came to a halt to stare at you almost in… shame. He refused to look you in the eye which began to annoy you, considering the fact that he kept on staring at you when asked that stupid question just previously.

With a frustrated huff, you walked forward, pinned the side of your forearm against his chest, and pushed him against the wall.

“Jacob, look at me,” You warned, your eyebrows furrowing.

He finally did a guilty look on his face much like a puppy’s. “What? And why’re you pinning me to the wall?”

You scowled. “Because.”

“Because?”

“Just shut up,” You groaned. “Did you mean it? What you said.”

He only gazed at you, completely calm. But something was different. His gaze didn’t just keep its place on your eyes. Occasionally, it would slip down to your lips.

You stepped forward, close enough that you could feel his body's warmth against. You tilted your head, trying to intimidate him. But still, he continued to stare at you like you were a bright flower in the midst of a gray landscape.

“Why aren’t you answering?”

“Because you told me to shut up.” A small grin appeared on his lips.

You groaned once again. “Please, just answer. Did you mean it when you said that you would date me? If so, then I…”

What were you going to say? You weren’t even sure yourself. Would you reject him? Or maybe consider changing the whole trajectory of your life?

But this wasn’t just about you. It was about your relationship which was what you feared most. If he said yes, then surely, your relationship would change. In what way, you didn’t know. But you were scared. A bit curious, but mostly terrified–terrified of losing him in some way.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a quiet sigh.

“Of course not.”

You blinked, looking at him in surprise.

He laughed. It was a weird laugh though–nervous, almost like he was still hiding something. But you chose not to dwell on it anymore.

“There was no one else I knew, so I just said you to get out of the situation,” He weakly joked. His eyes darted away.

“Oh,” You stuttered, stepping away and letting your arm fall from his chest. You felt a bit weak. Maybe it was from relief that you didn’t have to consider the possibilities if he said yes. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Mhm,” He hummed, his eyes softening. “You should get some rest. It’s dark.”

“Okay.” You smiled. But before he could turn away, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug. As an immediate response, he pulled you closer by the waist though he let out a small, confused sound.

“What’s this for?” He squeezed you closer.

“I felt like it.” You nuzzled into his shoulder. Even whilst being surrounded by beer bottles and drunken peers, he still manages to smell good—like a warm cup of sweet tea. You pulled away and peered up at him. “Stay the night?”

He gulped, his eyes widening slightly. “T-to do what?”

You snorted. “To sleep of course. You’re the only one who helps me sleep, you know.”

He followed you inside though he was still hesitant. After the two of you changed into something more comfortable (Jacob even has a change of clothes and a toothbrush in your dorm), you climbed into bed and immediately rested your head on his chest.

“Are you sure you’re in the right state of mind?” He murmured, gently rubbing your side. “You won’t regret this tomorrow?”

You shook your head. “I didn’t drink at all tonight. Why’re you being so cautious all of a sudden?” You pouted. “We always sleep together.”

He hummed. “Just making sure.”

After what you said earlier?

You wouldn’t lie and say that you definitely felt a bit different about asking him to stay over. But he already said that it wasn’t a serious statement. You chose not to think about it any longer, instead choosing to just doze off into his warm embrace.

He was just your best friend. And a great pillow.

ii.

“I’m going on a date.”

You both hated and loved that phrase. You loved it because it left a thrilling, exciting feeling in your heart. But you mostly loathed it. It left your lips far too many times for your liking. The phrase never ended well. You’ve had a few relationships and obviously, they didn’t work out.

You put much effort into those relationships but never received the same amount. You were always regarded with a weirded-out stare or a quick roll of his eyes. But those were somehow on the higher end of the scale. At the lowest, was when you were insulted and pushed around. It was Jacob who first noticed.

“He’s hurting you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, your fists clenching with denial. “But he apologized. He said he was just in a bad mood.”

Jacob frowned and took your hands in his, gently spreading your fingers to relax your fists. “No one in a bad mood should insult you or call you names.”

You gulped, tears starting to well up in your eyes. You knew that Jacob was right yet you were afraid of letting go of someone that held so many bright and fun memories.

“Love is hard,” You whispered.

“It is,” He sighed. “But I’m always here for you.”

You exhaled shakily. You ran through multiple scenarios and possibilities. Some of the imaginary outcomes were positive but most were negative.

“It’s your choice if you want to stay with him. But promise me that if you’re ever hurt, just come find me,” He spoke softly. His hand gently came up to your cheek and wiped a stray tear away. It was at that moment that you realized what true care felt like. It was in the way he never pushed you into making a choice. It was in the way he promised you that he would be there for you. It was in the way his fingertips brushed against your skin.

That was what true care was.

And because of that realization, the very next day, you appeared outside of Jacob’s dorm room with a proud smile on your face.

“We broke up.”

His eyes widened and you could tell he was searching your face for any trace of tears. “Did he–”

“No, I did.”

His expression melted into a softer one. “I’m proud of you.” His lips pulled into a soft smile as he pulled you into his dorm and hugged you to the point that you had to repeatedly shove him until he let go.

“With who?” Jacob looked up from his computer. He watched nonchalantly as you started discarding your coat and bag on his bed. It was normal for you to crash at each other’s dorms. It was so normal that some people had even assumed that you were roommates. That didn’t make sense since there’s only one bed.

You reached into your bag and started pulling out the outfit you chose. “This guy in my literature class. He asked me first and he seems sweet.” He had a kind smile and he was polite. He even helped you pick up your books when you clumsily dropped them on the floor.

He was almost like Jacob. Though Jacob could go to… concerningly high extents sometimes. He tended to drop anything, even if it was a glass cup if he noticed that you were hurt or upset.

But still, this man who asked you out seemed better than your other dates. It wouldn’t hurt to try.

Jacob nodded, turning back to his computer while you used his bathroom to change into your date outfit.

A few minutes later, you open the door and walk out. You don’t even bother to twirl or ask him about his thoughts as you were too busy digging through your bag for your wallet. But then you paused, interrupted by a sharp intake from none other than your best friend.

He was staring at you with his eyes round and his cheeks slightly colored. His gaze wandered down before coming back up to your eyes, his body utterly frozen.

“What?” You asked in confusion. “Does it look bad?”

“No!” He blurted out suddenly. He teared his eyes away, clearing his throat. “It’s just… different.”

You peered at him nervously. Why was he acting so weird? “In a good way or a bad way?”

“Good,” He breathed. He gave you a small yet sweet smile. “You look beautiful.”

“Oh.” Your frown quickly widened into a grin. “Thank you.”

After finally confirming that you did not forget your wallet, you took a seat beside Jacob on his bed. He used to be focused on his computer but it seemed that after you changed outfits, his eyes were darting elsewhere. He was losing his composure for some reason.

You let out a long sigh, rubbing your thighs with the palms of your hands. “Cobie, I’m nervous.”

He turned to you with a soft look in his eyes. He even shut off his computer, turning his undivided attention to you. “Why?”

You pouted as memories came flooding back of your past relationships. It was always you who was left alone, broken into pieces until Jacob came along to put you together and patch you up. After your failed dates, you began to lose confidence in being able to keep anyone in your life, even if it was someone as loyal as your best friend.

He always reassured you though.

“I won’t leave you.”

You laughed bitterly through your tears. “How do you know that?”

After disappearing for almost the whole day, Jacob finally found you, sitting in the dark corner of your closet. You remembered him crouching down next to you and tucking a tear-soaked strand of hair out of your face.

“Because I don’t think that in any universe or timeline, I could stand being torn away from you.” He smiled.

You frowned, blinking away the tears that continued to trail down your cheeks. “Even if I’m undesirable?”

He looked at you taken aback. “Who told you that?”

“Him,” You whispered. Another one of your past dates that didn’t end well. When you had asked him why—why he didn’t want you, he began to list heart-wrenching words that still spun in your head. “He wouldn’t even hug me back because I’m undesirable or whatever.”

And in just a second, you felt a pair of strong arms being wrapped around you.

You inhaled shakily.

“You’re hugging me.”

He hummed and nodded, placing a hand on the back of your head to pull you in closer if that was even possible.

“Because you’re not undesirable. I will always want to hug you. And care for you. And lo—“

He cut himself off. You were too exhausted from crying to figure out what he was going to say anyway.

“Just because,” You sighed. “It’s been so long since I started dating again. What if I mess up?”

“You won’t,” He immediately replied. “You’ll do amazing. Just be yourself.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Easier said than done.” You could feel Jacob wince beside you because he already knew what you were talking about–how even if you acted like yourself, you were never accepted or loved enough.

“Sorry.”

You shook your head. “Don’t be.” You looked down to play with your fingers nervously. Multiple scenarios began to play through your head like a jumbled-up movie. What if you laughed at something he said when it wasn’t meant to be a joke? What if you blurted out your deepest darkest secret and caused him to look at you weirdly? What if–

“What if he kisses me?”

Jacob froze, turning to you in disbelief. “That’s what you’re worried about?”

“Well, one of the things I’m worried about,” You mumbled, shrugging.

He searched your eyes as if to make sure you weren’t joking. Which, you definitely weren’t, as your jaw clenched unsurely.

This time, his tone was softer and more gentle. “Are you not confident?”

You sighed, slightly embarrassed. “No– I don’t know, maybe? I just don’t want to… disappoint.”

You can see a small smirk appear on Jacob’s lips. “I’m sure you won’t.”

“How would you know?” Your eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“I just assumed,” He whispered. And you could have sworn his eyes darted down to your lips for a split second. Then, he took in a deep breath and scooted just a bit closer, facing you so that your knees touched. He raised an eyebrow. “You’ve kissed before, haven’t you?”

“Yeah.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “Not enough to be good if that’s what you’re wondering.”

He seemed to be deep in thought before something shifted in his gaze and his lips parted to ask you something. It wasn’t teasing anymore, nor was it questioning. It was a serious look in his eyes, almost heart-stopping, as he stared at you as if to contemplate if what he was about to ask would change anything. And it definitely did, as it was already sending you choking on air.

“Want to practice?”

“With who?” You stared at him, acting innocent as if you didn’t already know what he meant.

“With me.”

“Oh,” You breathed. You didn’t know why but in the deepest part of yourself, reserved only for the most important secrets, you knew that your heart thumped erratically when he spoke those two words. “I mean– okay. I-I guess.”

He was just doing it as a friend.

He smiled softly and you watched as his hand very slowly came up to cup your cheek. He leaned in but stopped just before your lips connected. You peeked an eye open–yes, you already shut your eyes–and stared at him in perplexion.

A corner of his lips lifted. He must have already noticed your eagerness.

“Promise me, you’ll tell me if you don’t want to do this.” He looked you in the eyes, searching you with almost what you could tell was affection.

You nodded quietly.

He seemed confident but you could tell he was feeling nervous too with the way he swallowed thickly and his eyes darted across your features unsurely.

“Can I kiss you?” was his final question.

“Yes,” You whispered.

And then he leaned forward, attaching his lips to yours. You felt your heart stop before it came back to life again, this time, much faster than before. Your eyes carefully fluttered shut as you allowed yourself to melt into his touch. His hand stayed on your cheek, gently caressing your skin with his thumb as he slowly kissed you, almost as if he was savoring the moment.

You would be lying if you said that you didn’t also want to savor the moment.

You let out a small involuntary sound once it registered in your brain that he was deepening the kiss further. He tilted his head and soon enough, his hand was leaving your cheek, trailing down your side, and grasping onto your waist. You gasped and furrowed your eyebrows in concentration.

You were lost. Completely lost from the fact that this was supposed to be a practice kiss for your future date. That kind man from your literature class was long gone from your mind. Instead, every coherent thought of yours was replaced with one single person. Your best friend. The person you were kissing right now.

Jacob, Jacob, Jacob.

“Jacob,” You rasped in between kisses.

Even though your hands rested on his chest, creating some sort of distance, you didn’t make any further move to end the kiss. You felt butterflies erupt every time his hand ever so caressed your side.

“Hm?” He kissed you like he meant it. He kissed you like he actually loved you and that was what sent you reeling.

Shivers traveled down your spine once his hand wandered from your waist down to your lower back. The warmth of his palm and fingers splayed across your skin as it slowly lifted up the fabric of your outfit, leaving cool air to make its way through.

That small breeze was what sent you out of your trance and what led you to finally pull away.

“I think- I think that’s enough,” You panted, your heart rate refusing to go down.

Your lips felt sore and almost bitten and when you looked up to meet Jacob’s eyes, he was staring, stunned yet with a slight smug expression.

“Yeah,” He whispered. It took him a while for him to let go of the small of your back. “Sorry.”

You huffed out a laugh, patting at your cheeks to let them cool down. “Sorry for what?”

He smiled shyly. “I got carried away.”

You snorted. You were glad that there wasn’t any lingering awkwardness after that… kiss no matter how oddly real and passionate it felt. “Am I at least a good kisser? Am I set for the date?”

It looked like he was just shocked by lightning. “Your date. Yes, your date.”

You stared at him with confusion. “My… date. That’s what we were practicing for.”

He gulped and nodded quietly. “Yeah, yeah.” And then he leaned in again. But this time, he positioned him right by your ear, his breath that you just recently felt shuddering against your lips, now lingering on your earlobe. You hated yourself for closing your eyes and bracing for a kiss. What were you thinking? You swallowed nervously.

“You’re a great kisser, just as I thought.”

You resisted the urge to choke on air. “Th-thank you,” You blurted stupidly before abruptly standing up to grab your bag and aiming to run out the door.

But he stopped you, gently taking your hand and pulling you back.

“What?” You squeaked, your hands growing sweaty and your heart speeding up for the nth time.

“It’s a bit…” You felt his fingers brush against your skin once again, creating flashbacks back to the kiss. You heard the sound of the zipper on the back of your outfit being zipped up. Since when was it undone? You were pretty sure you pulled it all the way.

“My fault,” He teased. So it was him who unzipped it.

“Perv.” You tried to elbow him. But of course, he caught your arm and turned you around.

“Have fun on your date,” He smiled gently.

You breathed out shakily. “Okay.”

—

You were not having fun. Well, your date was all but a gentleman. He pulled the chair out for you, shielded you from incoming cars, and everything. But you couldn’t help but let your mind wander, distracted by the fact that Jacob already did all this anyway.

You were also distracted by the kiss. You could still feel the sensation of his lips moving fervently against yours and the warmth of his hand moving up your back and unzipping your outfit unnoticeably. You still wondered why he did that in the first place.

The two of you stopped on the trail that beautifully looked out to the sea. It was the perfect scene—the kind man in front of you, waiting for something. More specifically, a kiss. You could just lean in and kiss him right now but you… couldn’t.

“May I?” The man's voice interrupted your rushing thoughts.

“What?” You dumbly replied.

“You know.” He grinned shyly and stepped forward.

“Oh, I—“ You cleared your throat. Why wasn’t your heart beating fast like it did with your best friend of all people? Why didn’t your cheeks feel warm like how they did when Jacob looked at you with such a soft gaze? Maybe you were just going crazy, you figured. Maybe after this kiss, everything would go back to how it was. “Okay.”

But just as the man was leaning in, you suddenly planted your hands on his chest, pushing him away. When the man stared at you in alarm, you stuttered, “S-sorry. I actually don’t think we can.”

His expression saddened. “Why not?”

You didn’t know either. You could only offer a pathetic shrug.

“I just don’t think we’ll work out.”

His jaw clenched but he eventually stepped back. “Alright then, I guess. Want a ride home?”

You gave him a weak smile and shook your head. “It’s fine. I’m sorry.”

He never accepted your apology.

—

When you called Jacob to pick you up, he looked you over in worry.

“Did something happen? Did he break it off with you? What—“ He didn’t even start driving, rather he parked and turned his attention to you.

You laughed and shook your head. “We didn’t kiss. And it was me who ended it.”

He frowned. “It was only your first date.”

“I know but I decided not to look for anyone right now. I’d rather just stick with you.” You smiled sweetly. Jacob replied with an incoherent sound as he abruptly turned away to stare out the window.

“That’s fine with me,” He muttered, his ears red even under dark evening light.

You huffed out a quiet laugh and sat back in the car seat. Jacob started driving, the low hum of the engine lulling you to sleep. Slowly, you shut your eyes and let out a content sigh. “I’m tired.”

“From what?” He mused.

You grinned to yourself. “From kissing you. You’re quite the rough kisser.” You paused. “Not that I didn’t enjoy it of course.”

And thank god for your seatbelt because, for some odd reason, Jacob suddenly slammed on the brakes.

But even after that throwaway comment, the two of you never spoke about the kiss again. Except, speaking and thinking are two different things. For the next coming days, you thought about the kiss again, and again, and again, even if it didn’t turn into something more.

iii.

“So you really didn’t kiss?” Jacob questioned a few days later. The two of you walked down the main street of your campus, window shopping and sipping on warm lattes. It was the perfect day, slightly chilly with clear skies. You loved moments like these–the ones where all you could do was chatter about random things that came up in your mind and Jacob would always listen intently.

“No, we really didn’t.” You rolled your eyes. If you peered just a bit closer, you could see a wave of relief wash over his face.

As the two of you walked together and as more time passed by, you began to realize that what you and Jacob had wasn’t the most normal friendship. You had other friends too and you certainly did not act like how you did with Jacob. You glanced down to where you two were literally holding hands, intertwined fingers and all.

“So you don’t get lost,” Jacob whispered when the two of you graduated together. “I can’t lose you.”

Your mind wandered back to when Jacob fixed your hair oh so gently after it had gotten just the slightest bit messy from the wind.

“Why do you always fix my hair for me?” You narrowed your eyes.

“I like it when you look up at me when I do,” Jacob teased, pinching your cheek. “Your puppy eyes.”

You always thought he was just joking, but the more you thought about it, the more it felt like he meant it. He always seemed to love yet hate eye contact. Sometimes, he would stare back with a soft, admiration-filled gaze. Other times, he would tear his gaze away because he was flustered.

There was also the jealousy. You weren’t a blind fool to never notice it. He was always supportive of your dates and he always comforted you whenever they didn’t work out. But for some reason, what really ticked him off was physical touch by any guy that’s not him.

“What were you doing with him?” Jacob had asked you when he walked in on you hugging one of your classmates.

You widened your eyes. “Well he– he lended me some notes that I missed, that’s all.”

“And that earned him a hug?” Jacob’s eyes, ironically turned into those irresistible puppy eyes.

You stared at him in awe. “Are you…?”

Jacob gulped. “No.”

And that was the first time Jacob asked you to fall asleep on him instead of the other way around. You would never complain though. His chest was very comfortable.

Then there was the kiss.

It was one. You never kissed him again after. And at the moment, it seemed like a perfectly normal thing to do. In your mind, you thought he was just offering you an opportunity to practice.

But every time you thought of it at night and in your dreams, you began to realize that it was anything but practice. There was no need for him to caress your side, cup your cheek so gently, tilt his head for a better angle, and for him to deepen the kiss.

Your friendship wasn’t a typical one. It was something more. Yet, you didn’t know what to do with it.

You turned to look at him, wondering if studying his features would give you a clearer answer. But much to your surprise, Jacob was already staring back. There was a small smile on his lips, his eyes sparkling as he looked—as he looked at you.

“Why?” You blurted out.

“Why what?”

“Why do you always stare at me?”

He paused in his tracks. It took you a moment to realize that it was really only the two of you on the sidewalk. The sun had already set and so everyone had gone home. He turned to you, pulling you closer, causing you to stumble slightly. He then brought your connected hands up to his chest. You inhaled quietly once it registered in your head that you could feel his erratic heartbeat. You looked up at him, searching for any sort of answer. Yet he still remained like a book in a completely different language that you didn’t understand.

“Because you never fail to take my breath away.”

Your heart felt like it was caught in your throat. And as dumb as it may seem, you looked down at yourself, wondering if you had dressed up in a particular way for him to say that. But then you felt a gentle hand on your cheek, turning your attention back up. He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Always,” He replied quietly as if he read your mind. “You always, always take my breath away. Even on the day you fell asleep on me in high school. Even when you say that you look bad, I think you’re beautiful.”

“Jacob… I—“ You stopped once you felt a stinging cold on the very tip of your nose. It was a snowflake, you soon realized. You used to love it when it snowed, up until you found out that you had a horrible tolerance for cold. But who was it who took care of you when sick? It was always Jacob. It was always him who wrapped you up in blankets and cuddled you, even when you warned him that he would also get sick.

His eyes filled with worry as he glanced up at the sky. “Let’s run before it gets too slippery.” He smiled mischievously, grasping your hand once more and leading you toward your dorm. You laughed loudly, trying to catch up with him.

“Too fast!” You complained.

He turned back to look at you and oh, how handsome he looked even while running. That pretty smile with his bright, even prettier eyes. “I don’t want you to get sick,” He replied, accompanied by a cute laugh. “Do you want me to carry you?”

You flushed and shook your head immediately. “Let’s just keep running,” You huffed, allowing Jacob to lead the way.

The whole run back was filled with giggles and giddy smiles. You couldn’t have it any other way. The two of you, panting, finally managed to burst into your dorm. There was this exhilarating feeling in your chest. No matter if you stopped running or not, you would feel so… out of breath. It could be because of Jacob, it could be the beautiful snow, or it could just be the constant pounding of your heart. It could be all three.

You finally let go of Jacob’s hand, completely missing how he instinctively chased after your touch. Then, you stepped away to brush off the snowflakes that’s built up on your coat. Once you were sure that you were free from looking like a sugar-powdered donut, you looked up to where Jacob had already closed the door and was leaning against it.

His hair was messy, but what caught your eye the most, were the flurries of snow trapped between his locks. Somehow, he made looking like a sugar-powdered donut a good thing. He grinned at you with slightly rosy cheeks and gentle, gentle eyes.

He looked attractive. Since when did he look so attractive? You weren’t completely unaware that he was a fairly good-looking guy, but with the way his coat slipped off one shoulder and how his smile shot straight for your heart, you began to realize he was a lot more than just good-looking.

You were frozen, your arms straight at your sides, completely distracted by your best friend’s smile and the annoying thump of a heart–specifically, yours.

And one would think that he was looking at you, weirded out by your staring. But instead, he was gazing at you just the same. And this time, you had an explanation for all those lingering, soft looks he would give you for the many years that you’ve been friends. His words rang in your ears.

Always. You always, always take my breath away.

His smile slowly fell and before you could even register the way his gaze fell away from your eyes and downwards, he was walking towards you and cupping your face. Not even a second later, you felt a pair of lips being pressed against yours.

And just like before, your eyelids were already fluttering shut. This time though, you stayed without movement, simply allowing him to kiss you ever so gently and lovingly.

When he pulled away, that was when it finally hit you. You didn’t have a date to practice for, nor was this some sort of dare. Jacob, your best friend of multiple years, just kissed you on his own accord.

You brought the back of your hand up to your lips, staring at him in startlement. “Why’d you do that?” Your voice came out weak.

“What?” He blinked, and you could see how his cheeks began to flush. “Oh, I just– you know, in case you were thinking of going on another date with another literature class guy. It would be good practice since I know that you’re nervous so I just– I kissed you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Is that really it?”

He gulped, his eyes searching yours before he sighed. “I’m sorry. You just looked really pretty.”

“You kissed me because I looke–”

“Yes,” He blurted out, wincing. “And I’m sorry. That was stupid of me and I should have asked before and now you think that I’m–”

“Jacob.” You stepped forward, placing your hands on his shoulders. “Jacob.”

His eyes softened. “Yeah?”

“Be completely honest,” You looked him straight in the eyes. However, it began to feel a bit hard not to let your gaze fall to his lips because my god, was he a good kisser.

“I just was,” He muttered shyly.

You huffed. “Not that. I know you already answered that question. You kissed me because I looked pretty, which thank you, by the way.” You batted your eyes teasingly. Jacob let out an incoherent sound and tried to look away. But instead, you cupped his cheek and turned his attention back. “I have another one.”

He frowned, which would be a sorrowful sight if it wasn’t for the fact that he was blushing like crazy right now. You held back a smile.

“Do you like me?”

Jacob’s eyes widened. “What?” He squawked.

The puzzle pieces were already coming together for a while now. The longing gazes, acts of kindness, his occasional kisses (definitely not normal)–you knew there was a root to all those. But you still had that small feeling of insecurity. Well, up until now. That kiss just confirmed everything.

“Do you like me?” You repeated. “Last time, when you said that you would date me, you weren’t lying. You meant it, didn’t you?”

“I…” He trailed off. The room was dead silent. All you could do now was see, smell, and feel. You could see Jacob’s eyelashes as they fluttered when he blinked profusely, trying to come up with some sort of excuse. You could smell his cologne, which always smelled good especially when you buried your face into his chest. And you could feel his hand hovering just over your wrist.

He let out a low sigh and he looked you in the eye, his gaze nervous yet filled with something new–hope.

“I did,” He finally whispered. “I meant it. I would love to date you. And I like you. So much and for a very long time now.”

And even with all that evidence that you’ve thought about late at night, you still couldn’t help but be taken aback. You swallowed thickly and took a step back. “Oh.” It all felt real now. Deep down, you were hoping that he denied it. You wouldn’t have to actually think about your feelings for him like you had to do now. You weren’t prepared for this.

“I– I was just curious,” You stuttered. But that hand that was hovering over your waist suddenly grasped it and pulled you close. You yelped quietly before finding yourself right up against your best friend’s chest.

“And you don’t have an answer?” He asked, his voice teasing yet trembled slightly.

“Why do you need an answer?” Your heart thumped.

He hummed, his eyes glinting with mischievousness. “I want to know. You’re the one who brought this up anyway.”

“Yeah, well–” You inhaled sharply when you felt a hand on the side of your face, cautiously tucking a piece of hair back. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” He looked you over in a way that made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. And for some reason, it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. You’ve felt this before, multiple times, which was what baffled you even more.

You didn’t know when it started happening and you didn’t want to dwell on it either, but everytime he ever so smiled or placed his hands on you, you felt that weird thing in your stomach. All the recent times that you’ve cuddled and fell asleep with him began to do just the same. Sometimes, you couldn’t even fall asleep because your heart was beating too fast. The only way you could fall asleep was by pressing your ear to his chest and counting his heartbeats.

Jacob quickly noticed your silence and hesitance. His voice quieted down to that caring version that he always used when you were on the verge of falling asleep—whether that be on his shoulder or chest.

“Y/n,” He gently spoke, grabbing your attention.

“What?” You winced.

“I’m sorry if I pressured you or anything. You don’t have to answer right n—“

“I like you too.”

His breath hitched. You couldn’t see his expression though, as you had shut your eyes with a grimace.

“Oh,” He breathed. You heard him step closer. “You do? You… like me too?”

“Yes,” You whispered in a small voice.

And yet again, your stomach did that funny thing because when you opened your eyes, Jacob’s face was a lot closer than before. He had a shy yet cautious smile on his face as he watched you silently.

“So…” He tilted his head expectantly. “We both share feelings. It’s up to you what you want to do now.”

This wasn’t even the bad part, you realized. It was the next words that left your lips that was.

“Nothing, let’s just move on.”

Immediately, it was like something had stabbed him in the heart and oh, did it feel the same for you. You bit your lip, willing your tears to go away. All you wanted to do was reach for his hand and pull him in and let everything else fold out naturally. But no, you stayed back against the wall, refusing to look him in the eye.

“What?” He muttered, a clear look of confusion in his eyes.

Your voice wavered as you forced sounds out of your clenched-up throat. “I said, that we should just move on.”

He let out a breath in disbelief. “Why? Is there something wrong? Did I do something wrong? If so, I’ll fix it. Is it because I didn’t let you borrow my hoodie that one time? I’ll let you borrow it whenever you want from now on.”

“It’s not,” You cried, your heart aching at the fact that he still tries to take the blame. “I want to be more with you, Jacob. I just can’t. It’s my fault, not yours.”

He fell quiet, watching you with care. “What’s stopping you?”

“Me,” You shamefully replied. “I’m afraid.”

“Afraid?” He inquired quietly. “Of what?”

“Of taking you for granted. I don’t want to possibly lose you and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.” He frowned.

“But I should.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “Because what if I push you away, then what?”

He looked like he was going to say something else but he ultimately swallowed his words and let out a low sigh. “Okay,” He whispered. “I understand.”

You felt the need to apologize over and over again. You hated the look on his face as he tried to hide the pain he was feeling.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” You began to say over and over again. “It’s not because of you. It’s—“

“I know.” He gave you a soft look. He always remembered and could always tell when you were sensitive about a past relationship, no matter if it was just a fling or not.

He slowly stepped forward again and he carefully rested his palm on the back of your hand. When you didn’t flinch or pull away, he gently wrapped his fingers around your hand, holding it firmly.

“So why did you tell me?” He finally asked. “If you didn’t want this to go further.”

You tightened your hands into fists—a nervous habit you had. But, he was quick to soothe them back open as he quietly whispered a small, “You’ll hurt yourself.”

“I don’t— I don’t know.” You paused. “In a perfect world, you’re aware of my feelings and we go further. But that’s in a perfect world. I just thought… if I told you it might magically happen but it didn’t and that’s stupid, I know.”

Jacob never took his eyes off you and he never pulled his hand away. That’s what you liked so much about him. He never failed to be your anchor, the one to ground you when you felt like floating away.

What confused you though, was that he wasn’t saying anything. He seemed to be deep in thought as if he were changing his mind about something. But, he wasn’t changing his mind about his feelings for you. You could tell by the way his eyebrows furrowed slightly when you tried to hide away from his soft gaze and by the way he never let you clench your fists, holding both of your hands tightly but never enough to hurt.

You were lost in his eyes—those who have seen you at your best and lowest. He’d seen you smile and come running into his arms and he’d seen you cry and break down until you fell asleep in his embrace.

“Then I’ll wait for you.”

You inhaled sharply and widened your eyes. “What?”

“I’ll wait for you,” He repeated, a small yet reassuring smile on his lips. “That perfect world you talked about–it’s a possibility, right? So I’ll wait. I’ll wait for your perfect world to come.”

“Jacob.” You stared at him unsurely. He didn’t even know when that would happen. You didn’t even know either. So why was he so sure of waiting for you?

He leaned in and you felt a hand leave yours. And almost like he read your mind, you felt the warmth of his palm on the side of your cheek, caressing it soothingly.

“No matter how long it takes.”

Your brain was rushing with a million red warning signs. Multiple questions threatened to spill out of your mouth yet the only one that could leave was a choked, “why?”

“Because all I want is for you to be happy. Why should we rush when it means you won’t be happy? That’s all that matters to me.”

“But you—“ You let out a frustrated sigh. “You might lose interest. Or what if we do get together and something happens and—“

He grinned. “You’re thinking too far ahead. Didn’t I tell you I would wait?”

You grumbled, yet the weight in your heart lightened at the change in the surrounding mood.

“Whenever you’re ready, we can talk about this again,” He said. “In the meantime, we can go back to what we were before.”

You rolled your eyes and bit back a shy smile. “Okay.”

“And…” His eyes sparkled as he leaned forward. Immediately, as if on instinct, you shut your eyes and expected a kiss on the lips. Instead, though you felt him press one on the very top of your forehead, almost as if that was his final move of showing how much he respected you. “If you ever decide to go further, I promise that I will be good for you. I’ll be so, so good for you.”

That was when your legs began to feel like jelly. You could feel yourself melt and your brain go fuzzy.

But just as you expected, Jacob was always there to catch you.

+ 1

It was one thing to be best friends with Jacob and another thing to be best friends with a guy who recently confessed his feelings for you. No matter how hard you tried to bring things back to normal, it was of no use.

Every smile, which would be a normal thing whenever you crack a joke, now was a smile that caught you off guard and made you stumble over your words. Whenever he touched you somehow, whether if it was simply to guide you down a sidewalk or to pull you into a hug, you felt a spark that never quite left you until you fell asleep.

But still, despite the many times your heart had beaten towards Jacob, you could never find the courage to take things further. Even so, he always made it clear that he would wait.

“You can stop waiting,” You once blurted out when you noticed him hesitating to grasp your hand.

He looked at you in slight alarm before softening his expression. This time, without hesitation, he took hold of your hand, pulling it into his lap so that he could play with your fingers, bending them and squeezing them.

“Tell me the reason first. Then I’ll decide.” He eyed you knowingly.

You blushed and looked away. However, you never made a move to pull your hand away.

“Just… I feel bad,” You muttered. “It must be awkward or difficult. So you can just leave if this is bothering you.”

“Ah,” He breathed. He didn’t say anything after that, instead turning his attention back to your hand.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and turned to him. “So you’re going to stop waiting?”

He smirked slightly before shaking his head. “No.”

You gaped at him, pulling your hand away in shock. “What?” You stammered. “But I just said–”

Your words were cut off by Jacob taking your hand and instead of bringing it back into his lap, he brought it up to your lips and left a soft kiss on the back of it. You immediately choked on your spit as you blinked, flustered.

“So your reason is that you’re worried that I might get impatient, correct?” He looked up to you, smiling.

You nodded your head, too lost for words.

“Then that’s not a valid reason,” He whispered. He set your hand back down, but still held it in his lap. “If you feel uncomfortable, then I will stop waiting. But me? You don’t have to worry about me.” He leaned in, staring at you completely endeared. You tried to glance away. “Like I said, I’ll always wait. No matter how long it takes.”

You breathed out shakily before nodding.

It always ended like that. It didn’t matter how hard you tried to convince him to give up, he would always come back to you like a lost puppy.

Jacob also started to take care of you more. At first, you thought it was some way to win you over like your exes liked to do right after an argument. But, over time, you began to realize that his actions were genuine, though silent and hard to notice.

“I’m hungry,” You mumbled to yourself one day. Jacob was walking behind you, seeming busy on his phone. Turns out, he wasn’t, because a few hours later, you found a bag of food placed at the entrance of your door.

Or, the other time when you just finished up your upcoming assignments and could barely walk straight with how exhausted you were. All you could remember was a pair of worried eyes that belonged to Jacob who was guiding you to bed. When you woke up, you were wrapped comfortably in blankets and most of all, his sweater that seemed to magically appear on you.

And then there was that one time. The most important of all.

“Which one is better?” You asked, holding up two scarves for your classmate to see. She peered at it curiously before pointing at the one in your left hand.

“Who’s it for?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

You scoffed, putting the other one back on the shelf. “Jacob.”

“Are you really sure that you two aren’t a thing?”

You hesitated before shrugging weakly. “It’s complicated.” You tossed the scarf into the cart before turning away, yawning. On nights when Jacob was too busy to visit your dorm, you never were able to sleep well. “I’m going to order a cup of coffee, I’ll be right back.”

You stretched your limbs and walked over to the nearby coffee shop. Buying gifts was a hard task, especially when it came to Jacob. He always made these intricately crafted gift baskets for you, filled with everything you could possibly want.

“Y/n?” A gruff voice called out to you.

You froze in place. You recognized that voice and oh, how you despised it. Still, you plastered on a smile and turned in the voice’s direction.

“Hey, it’s… you.” You looked the man over. He was the ex who stated so bluntly that you were undesirable. He certainly looked worse for wear—dark circles under his eyes, clothes with unknown stains on them, and an unkind sneer.

“How’ve you been?” He took a step forward. You were quick to backtrack, your fists clenched.

“Fine,” You forced out. “You?”

“Could be better.” He shrugged. Something suddenly shifted in his gaze though, as he looked at you differently. It was in a way that made you feel sick to your stomach, as opposed to the butterflies that would appear when you two were still together. “Listen,” He started. “I’m going to get straight to the point.”

You stared at him, perplexed.

“Get together with me again.”

You jerked away, your hands coming up defensively. “What?”

“You heard me. I’m sorry that you got offended by my words before…”

You scoffed. And he still won’t apologize.

“…but after we split, I realized how much I missed you. C’mon sweetheart, you know you feel the same, hm?”

You felt like you were about to throw up as you glared at him in disbelief. “Do you hear yourself right now?”

The man feigned innocence.

“Okay, I guess not. And I don’t have the energy to explain it to someone like you,” You spat. “So no. My answer is no. Besides, I have a boyfriend.”

That last sentence you sort of didn’t think through… but everything else you’ve practically perfected after rehearsing it with Jacob many times before.

“If you ever see him again, promise you’ll tell me,” Jacob muttered, his fingers trailing circles on your arm. It was late at night and you could barely keep your eyes open. But, it was always at this time that Jacob became sentimental and protective.

“Okay,” You whispered, your voice muffled in his chest. “Don’t worry, I’m over him.”

“That’s good.” You could hear him breathe out in relief. “And if he ever wants something from you, say no. You deserve so much more than he can ever give you.”

You smiled and snuggled closer to your best friend’s warmth. “Okay, okay. In love with me or something?”

“...go to sleep,” He mumbled, pulling the blankets closer over your figure. Completely forgetting the fact that he never answered your question, you peeked over his shoulder and realized that he was barely covered.

You frowned. “You’ll get cold.”

And instead of readjusting the blankets, he tightened his arms around you, burying his face into your neck. “I won’t.”

“Boyfriend?” Your ex’s jaw clenched scarily. “What do you mean boyfriend? Who?”

You gulped but still lifted your head high. “Jacob,” You lied straight through your teeth.

The man’s sneer only grew further as his eyes narrowed. “Of course,” He hissed. “Of course it’s always him.”

You nodded slowly, slightly confused of his response. “Yeah, so…” You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at the sight of the man, red-faced and with almost smoke coming out of his ears.

“Just leave,” The man grunted. “I’m fine.”

“I never asked if you were fine.” You suppressed a laugh which quickly fell short when he snapped his head towards you in a warning. “Okay, okay,” You snorted. “Have a great day!” You waved and ran away before the man could explode once more.

As you walked back in the direction of your classmate, you couldn’t help but smile stupidly to yourself. To be truthfully honest, you were always terrified for this day to come. That you would run into one of your failed dates and absolutely freeze up, making a complete fool out of yourself. That was what you thought for the longest time.

But now, you realized that the interaction you just had was a lot easier than you thought. Sure, it left your heart seizing nervously, but after having someone–Jacob–stay by your side everytime even a single tear left your eye, you realized that you were healed.

–

You swung the bag in your hand, smiling brightly. You’ve never felt so happy before. Your eyes wandered across all the stores, casually window shopping until you suddenly came to a stop.

You squinted your eyes and stepped closer. There, on the display of one of the most famously expensive jewelry stores, was the necklace worn on your very neck–the exact same one that Jacob had gifted you. You peered in and spotted the price tag. That was when you stumbled back, slapping your hand over your mouth.

You stared in astonishment at the necklace. “He said that it wasn’t expensive…”

But of course, it was always Jacob who said not to worry about him. You sighed all too knowingly though you couldn’t help but bite back the smile that was forming on your lips.

Just as you were busy admiring the bracelet just like you’ve done many times before, you heard your phone ring.

“Jacob?”

“Y/n,” He sounded breathless. Almost like he was… running. “Where are you?”

You blinked in confusion. “Where are you?”

“The park. Are you–”

You accidentally hung up. You winced and whispered a quiet sorry before heading to the local park.

–

It’s a common occurrence for Jacob to find you wandering around the park, clearing your mind after hours of studying. It was not a common occurrence for you to find Jacob standing in a secluded garden area, looking around frantically for something–someone.

You bounded over to him, ready to greet him cheerily. But, as soon as his eyes landed on you, he was immediately reaching forward and pulling you into his arms.

“Oh,” You breathed stiffly. His hold was tight and protective, yet you had no idea why.

He pulled away and looked you over worriedly. His eyes were soft and his hands held gently onto your shoulders. “Are you okay?” He asked. Then, his hands came up to your cheeks as if to check for invisible tears. “Did he hurt you?”

You stared at the man in alarm, your lips parted in confusion. “Who?”

“Your ex.”

Your mouth fell further open. “How’d you know I met him today?”

Jacob sighed and pulled out his phone. “I got a text.” You couldn’t help but melt at his small, worried pout. “He said that he had just talked to you and sent you home crying.”

You blinked. And then you snorted, much to Jacob’s surprise.

“That weirdo said that?” You laughed. “He did not. I was the one who sent him home. He’s bluffing!”

And even though the man in front of you looked slightly embarrassed, you could tell that he was relieved. He stepped forward and pulled you back into a hug, his hand stroking the back of his head. “Thank god. I thought you were hurt.”

You shook your head, smiling as you listened to his beating heartbeat. “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”

It was you who pulled away first but it quickly became a regret. You so badly wanted to melt back into his arms. You’ve never been treated with so much care before–the way he held your face so gently to make sure you weren’t crying and how he held you close. God, how he made you swoon.

You cleared your throat, completely forgetting that you were staring in awe into your best friend’s eyes. Jacob smiled shyly.

“So!” You blurted, playing nervously with the sleeves of your coat. “What brings you to the park? You never come here.”

Jacob seemed to choke on something. Hm, you didn’t remember seeing him eating anything. He glanced around and you quickly noticed how red his ears had gotten.

“Oh, I–I was on a run and this was part of the… route.”

“Really?” You wondered, looking around. This area of the park was more closed off though, surrounded by more plants than people. “Interesting.”

“Yeah,” He laughed nervously.

It grew awkwardly silent then. The two of you were simply facing each other without anything to say or do. But that silence gave you more time to observe and notice the small details like how Jacob’s hair was tousled in multiple directions, meaning he wasn’t running in one straight path, but rather on multiple. His shoes were untied, which didn’t make any sense with his run, but instead showed that he was in a hurry. And then there was the phone call. The first thing he asked was where you were and as soon as you met up with him, it was like he was looking for…

“You were looking for me,” You breathed in realization. “You ran here because you were looking for me.”

Jacob’s cheeks immediately reddened as he stared at you like a deer caught in headlights. He winced as he tried to avoid eye contact. You leaned forward, making him breathe in sharply.

“I…” He sighed in defeat. It seemed like your best direction was simple eye contact. “Fine, I was looking for you. I was worried about you.”

Your eyes softened as you reached a hand up to fix his messy hair. “Why? You know that I can take care of myself.”

He frowned and you couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked when he was protective. “Still. I hate to see you hurt.”

You smiled, endeared. “Oh, Jacob…”

“Ever since you told me that you were afraid that one day, I wanted to take care of you more. And I’m sorry,” He whispered, slightly leaning into the touch of your hand. “I’m sorry if I intruded too much or made you uncomfortable. I promise that I’ll step back if you want. Or if you–”

He let out a muffled sound though, as you grabbed his collar and pulled him in to plant a kiss onto one of his cheeks. When you peeked an eye open, you smiled when you realized that his eyes were wide open in shock. Stifling a laugh, you pulled back and softly poked the spot that you just kissed.

“Wha… you…” He stared at you, completely dazed. Then, he giggled, completely flustered, as his hand came up to touch where you had just kissed.

You finally let that laugh escape, hiding your face in his chest. Then, you looked up at him, smiling widely.

“You really do know how to make me fall, don’t you?”

He smiled goofily, almost like he was drunk after that one kiss. “You’re still standing though.”

You huffed fondly and slapped him bashfully. “You know what I mean.”

“Wait, but–” He widened his eyes. You felt his hands sneak around your waist, holding you securely and protectively. “Are you sure about this? I told you I’d wait. You don’t have to…” He bit his lip shyly. You could tell that the feeling of your lips on his cheek came rushing back. He shook out of his trance though he was still blushing. “You don’t have to kiss me if you’re not ready.”

You smiled softly and shook your head. You knew it was the necklace that did it for you. It served as further proof of how much Jacob cared for you–that he always thought about you even when you were apart and lied about the price so that you wouldn’t worry. Jacob was always like this. He always had you in his mind and would do anything if it meant that you would smile. Sometimes, he would even tell you that he liked your smile.

“But I am ready. I want to go further with you.”

That was what made him jump in surprise. “You– you want to be more? Like me as your boyfriend? And you as…” He paused, his smile giddy and so in love. “Mine?”

You nodded excitedly. “Yes, Jacob.”

“But you said…”

“I’m still afraid,” You replied, looking down at where there was barely any distance between you two. “But I would love to try with you.”

“Are you sure?” He furrowed his eyebrows slightly which you couldn’t take seriously with the way his eyes were filled with so much eagerness.

“Yes.” You copied his expression jokingly.

“One hundred percent sure?”

You sighed fondly and instead of replying, you stepped forward and pressed yet another kiss on his cheek. That seemed to be a good enough answer because Jacob was staring down at you as if you were the brightest star in the sky.

Jacob then used his finger to tilt your chin up. His smile was what left you feeling breathless. “Then I promise you, Y/n, that I’ll be good for you. If I do anything wrong, tell me. I will be my best for you. All the time. I like you so much”

You felt your composure melt as you couldn’t even control your grin anymore.

“Okay,” You giggled. “I like you too. And this time, I want to do more. Only with you. You are my perfect world.”

Then, your expression quickly changed into a teasing one as you leaned in and fluttered your eyes shut. You expected Jacob to become flustered but instead, he smirked and tightened his hold on your waist. You were glad that the park was empty right now as you peeked an eye open, slightly flustered.

“What are you doing?” He teased.

You smiled shyly. “I’m asking for a kiss. And not as practice this time.”

“Of course, beautiful.” He drew circles on your hip before yanking you close and against his lips. It felt like fireworks going off in your stomach. And the fact that this was real was what made every sensation stronger than it was before.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and tilted your head slightly. Jacob smiled against your lips, holding you close without any intention to let go.

Jacob suddenly pulled away, leaving you to chase after his lips. When you stared at him with both confusion and want at the same time, he smiled knowingly before muttering, “You taste sweeter each time.”

Instantly, you were coughing with a rising blush on your cheeks. The fact that this wasn’t even your first kiss is something to think about. But still, his eyes watched your every move, completely smitten before he leaned back in.

He made it feel like your first kiss everytime.

A few months later

“Why didn’t you tell me that the necklace was actually expensive?” You mumbled, your question briefly cut off by a yawn. The two of you were cuddled up in bed, late at night. It’s not like you two didn’t cuddle before so there wasn’t much of a difference–the only one being that there were now kisses added.

He hummed, the vibration resonating through your chest. “Because I knew you would worry too much and make me return it.”

You huffed grumpily and turned away, your back facing him. He let out a small sound of confusion and peeked over your body to poke your cheek.

“Did I say something wrong?” You already knew he was pouting.

“Yes,” You whined before quickly turning back around. You punched him in the chest though he didn’t flinch one. “Why do you always tell me not to worry about you? This is a teamwork thing. I want to worry about you.”

Jacob stared at you, a completely smitten look on his face. His gaze was soft and you yelped as he suddenly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you back to his chest.

“Okay,” He replied.

You froze. “That’s it? No arguments?”

He laughed quietly. “No, because you’re right. We should be taking care of each other equally.” Then, he tilted his head back to look you in the eye. “Plus, I like when you worry about me. So do that more from now on.”

“Good.” You rolled your eyes. “I will. You think I don’t notice when you’re shivering from the cold?”

He frowned. “But you need the jacket or else you’ll get col–”

“Jacob,” You warned.

“Fine, fine.” He scoffed, squeezing your arm playfully. “But you do know that you deserve the best? So in my defense, you deserve that jacket.”

You bit your lip and sighed, defeated. You were glad that the room was dimly lit so that he wouldn’t notice your blush. As you were getting lost in your thoughts, you felt a hand caress the side of your face, turning your attention back.

“Can I ask something?”

You tilted your head, willing yourself not to melt into his touch. You couldn’t handle that stupidly loving smile he would give you everytime you did.

“What is it?”

“How have I been as a boyfriend? I told you I would treat you well. If there’s anything, let me know. All I want is for you to be happy when you’re with me. Of course, if you want…” You could tell he was nervous with the way he began to ramble.

You smiled fondly and leaned in to kiss his jaw. “Jacob, Jacob,” You spoke, interrupting his fast-paced words.

“Yeah?” He looked at you like an eager puppy.

“Don’t worry,” You whispered. “You’re doing amazing. You’ve been the sweetest boyfriend ever.”

“Oh?” His focused expression quickly turned into a teasing one. “That’s a relief. I love being good for you.”

“My god.” You tried to act nonchalant, but you couldn’t ignore the skip of your heart. You were about to add on, but your words were muffled by him leaning in and kissing you. His lips moved against yours as if you had all the time in the world which you did–you loved to savor the moment.

You barely noticed that he had shifted his position so that you were caged under his arms. You could feel him giggle against your lips, his hand coming up to comb through your hair. You would never get over the fact that he had been a good kisser all this time. You wondered just how many kisses you’ve missed out on.

But then again, his kisses were all for you from now on. You liked–no, loved–the thought of that.

It was still late at night and so, your kisses started to grow more slow and relaxed. Your arms around his neck slowly fell to your sides.

“Hey, don’t fall asleep on me now.” Jacob smirked, pulling away as he stared down at you, your eyes fighting to stay open.

“Can’t help it,” You mumbled. “Come down already.” You grabbed his arm that was holding him up as he hovered you and pulled him back down to lie with you. Automatically, you were climbing into his embrace and it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

“Does my kissing make you sleepy?” He teased.

“Yes. I sleep when I’m in love,” You huffed, your thoughts jumbled and messy from both the kiss and your drowsiness.

“That doesn’t really make sense.” He still kissed the top of your forehead anyway.

“Shut up and go to sleep.”

“Okay, beautiful.”

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