#I woke up crying for whatever stupid reason

[mistymuimui]

Guys comfort me with some itafushi 😭😭😭

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Just Too Important - A No Love Lost Bonus Chapter

Series Masterlist

Read on A03!

Author's Note: They're back! They're obsessed with each other! Ben once again is proving that he's the grumpiest old man to ever grumpy old man! Enjoy!

Title from Snooze by SZA

Word Count: 5.7k

Summary/Warnings: You and Ben head to Costco. Takes place about two months post-series.

Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, tooth-rotting fluff, Ben being old, pre-established relationship, mentions of smut

There were only five things Ben had ever really fucking loved. Loved with his whole goddamn existence, so much he could probably kill himself with it if he tried.

He’d loved his mom. Loved her in a simple, pure way that he’d probably taken for fucking granted. She had been secure. The only person Ben had known wasn’t going to hate him for being a fuck up or problem. She’d pleaded with his father when Ben had been sent away. Kept in contact with him when she wasn’t supposed to. Still thought of him as just Ben, even when he’d given her every reason not to. Ben had loved his mom because she was his mom. He’d grieved her in drinks and silence when she died, and known that—compared to what he’d been before—she would’ve been proud of him now. Living a life that wasn’t violence and glamour. A life that was just stupid fucking ease and perfection, with a beautiful wife and smart son, in a comfort he’d never imagined he’d get to have.

He loved the movie Legally Blonde. His wife was never allowed to fucking know that.

He loved Ryan. The kid was a fucking genius, and Ben wasn’t sure how the hell Homelander had a single hand in creating him. He was kind and smart and determined, and a purely good fucking person. He’d been born from a long line of deeply fucked men, but he read books and cried when the dog died in a movie. He fucking loved school, and liked people, and tried so hard to be normal that Ben was sometimes worried he’d hurt himself. Ryan never needed to fucking apologize for having powers. He never needed to feel guilt for the shit Homelander had done, and never needed to repent like Ben had. He was just a fucking kid. A kid who sometimes woke up crying because he’d had a nightmare about his father—because they all did—and who’d apologize for waking Ben after. Ben really wished the people he loved would stop fucking apologizing to him.

He loved dancing. His wife already knew that one, but Ben was pretty damn sure she didn’t know just how much he loved it. It was reliable. Simple. Something his mother had made him learn, and something that he could use to make his wife fall into his arms and giggle against his chest. A way to use his body that wasn’t for destruction, an excuse to touch Her until she gave him a perfect, happy smile, and he somehow loved her more.

Because that was the thing Ben loved above every other goddamn thing in the universe. Loved more than the universe. The universe was fucking pathetic compared to how much Ben loved Her. Every single fucking thing about Her. How She smile and laughed and moved through the world. How goddamn kind and clever and perfect She was. All Her big fucking words and Her smart fucking mouth and Her sharp, beautiful features. How She was a fucking brat and a problem, and Ben would never want her any other way, because he was the luckiest fucking pussy in the world for this menace of a woman to love him back half as much as he loved Her. Lucky that She trusted him, looked at him like he was some sort of fucked up savior, and always touched him like she could never do anything better with her hands.

She was perfect. She was a fucking goddess, and every time Ben reminded Her of that she’d flush that pretty color and bury her face in his arm. Right where she goddamn belonged.

You can’t just say that, Ben-

I can say whatever the fuck I want, Sunshine. He’d press a kiss to the top of Her head, squeezing his hold on Her body. I fucking love you, and you’re a goddamn miracle. These pussies should be grateful to be in your goddamn presence.

I think you’re a little bias. She’d mumble between their heads, but Ben would hear the stumble of Her heart, feel her lean further into his body, and he’d smirk.

I don’t fucking care. He’d tangle a hand in Her hair, tugging it back so she was looking at him with wide, blown out eyes.  You’re fucking perfect. 

She’d smile at him, and Ben’s ribs would bloom and glow with how fucking beautiful She was. How She was all fucking his, to care for and tend to and love. For the rest of goddamn time, Ben got to fucking have Her.

You’re such a dramatic cunt, Benjamin.

He’d chuckle. You fucking love it.

And that would be the end of it. Wherever they were, Ben would find a place to fuck Her in peace, she’d cum all over him—filling the room with a million colors and dancing lights, bursting into flame and screaming his name—and Ben would make sure that she understood. Really fucking got that Ben had never been good at loving things, but loving Her was the easiest thing in the goddamn world. That he’d love Her until the world was fucking razed and scorched and She wasn’t there to love anymore.

Even then Ben would probably just fucking follow Her. That might be the only thing that one day got him. If She figured out a way to die, she wasn’t going to do it without Ben at Her side. She was alive inside of him—infinite and holy, fucking stronger and brighter than the goddamn sun—and Ben never wanted to know a life without Her again. 

She’d hate the idea of Ben going just because She went. She’d shove his chest and snap that he’d need to keep living without her, because she loved him too much to want him to die. And Ben would roll his eyes, grumble an agreement, and keep fucking knowing that if they went out, they were going out together.

Everything was so fucking beautiful when Ben had Her to share it with. Without Her he’d just be an old fucking asshole, chasing Her in shadows and songs, sitting at Her grave until he worked out how to turn the stone back into the only person in the world that really fucking mattered.

It was a damn good thing they were both immortal.

The world would not fucking like it if Ben had to keep living without Her.

He’d do anything for Her. He’d burn countless worlds to ash, then rebuild them just for Her to have. He’d refuse to destroy things, because She was good and would never want anyone to be in pain in Her name. If She demanded it, he would keep living, but he’d drive himself mad trying to bring Her back.

He’d learn to raise the dead. To find wherever the fuck She’d gone and pull her back to his side, where he’d keep Her safe and happy and smiling.

Christ, he’d do anything just to make Her smile.

He’d even let Her drag him here, to this massive square building that seemed to be some weird sort of grocery store. 

But Ben didn’t remember grocery stores selling TVs, or mattresses, or toys. Grocery stores didn’t sell watches. Or fucking pills and makeup, just a few aisles apart. 

Where the fuck are we. He muttered between their heads, and She looked back to him with an amused grin.

You drove us here, Ben.

Because I value my goddamn life, Sunshine.

Shut up-

No. He leaned down, kissing the space between Her eyes with a grin. Tell me where we are, brat, or I’ll fuck the answer out of you.

She wrinkled Her nose at him, even as Ben heard Her heart flutter slightly. No obviously public sex, you horny old cunt-

I never said we’d fuck in public, darling. This place is fucking huge, I’d find somewhere private, and then make you all dumb and pretty on my cock. Ben winked at Her, and Christ, she was beautiful. Wide, glossy eyes and a parted mouth, already putty in Ben’s hands just from his fucking words.

We’re at Costco. She said, a little breathless between their minds. It’s a superstore. 

Ben frowned. That didn’t make any damn sense, and he’d have a lot of time to fuck Her later. He needed to understand what in Christ she was talking about. 

What the fuck is a superstore. Did they figure out how to shoot up buildings with V and nobody fucking told me-

She laughed, wrapping Her arms around his neck with a shake of her head. No, Ben, it’s a physically large store that sells, like, everything.

Everything.

Pretty much, yeah. She shrugged. That’s why we’re here.

Ben nodded slowly. For the house.

Exactly. She smiled, Her voice soft and teasing between their minds. Good work, Pretty Boy.

Shut the fuck up, brat. Ben pulled Her half up his chest, kissing her until he got a breathy moan, and leaned back with a smirk. What do we need.

I, um… She blinked at him, her eyes a little glazed as Ben just grinned at Her. Fucking Christ, She was perfect.

Need some help there, Sunshine?

Fuck you-

Ben laughed, squeezing his hand on Her waist. No obviously public sex, darling-

Shut up. She muttered, and Ben’s grin only grew, because She tangled her hand in his and leaned further into his body at the exact same time. I made a list.

A list-

For what we need. And, She shot him a stern look, rising slightly on Her toes to hold his gaze. We’re sticking to it. No buying things we don’t need, just because you see them. 

Ben frowned. Why the fuck would I get shit we don’t need-

Because you’re a child, my love.

I am not a fucking child-

Yeah, you are. She gave him a soft, teasing grin, and Ben really didn’t know how to actually be annoyed with Her. Not when She was so goddamn beautiful, and looking at him with such adoration, and felt easy and happy around his skull. You’re a massive fucking man baby, Benjamin, and you’re going to see something shiny and try to buy it.

Fucking- I’m not a goddamn pussy with no self-

She pulled him into a slow, deep kiss, half climbing up his chest and molding into his arms fucking perfectly, and he groaned. She’d given him a blowjob before they left the house—Ryan was off at school for the day, and She was a horny fucking problem—and Ben could still taste himself in Her mouth. Mixed with coffee and chocolate, and Her. Always just fucking Her, smiling against his lips and safe in his arms. He could feel the cool metal of Her wedding ring when she tangled her fingers in his hair.

They had to finish this shopping shit right now, so Ben could carry Her to the car and fuck her stupid in the back seat.

You’re my man baby, Pretty Boy. She said between their minds, and leaning back to give him a wide, perfect smile. I love you.

I love you too, Ben grunted, leaning down to kiss to Her brow. You fucking brat.

She hummed, Her smile wide and unrestrained on her beautiful face. Ready?

Ben nodded, grabbing Her hand and pressing one last kiss to Her knuckles. There was Her ring. Both of her rings. Physical fucking proof to anyone who looked that She loved Ben. Wanted him. Fucking adored him. 

If She needed Ben for shopping, he’d walk with Her and do whatever she told him to. She’d know what she was doing. She always knew what She was doing, because she was a goddamn force of nature, and if Ben had a say in it, he’d make sure everyone did what she told them all the fucking time.

They didn’t—because most people were stupid fucking dumbcucks that Ben wasn’t allowed to just fucking kill—but they should. All of this post-Homelander shit would be so much easier if everyone would just fucking listen to Her. 

And Ben knew how hard She was working on it. How She was calm and collected when she testified before congress and recounted all the shit that fucking pussy had done to Her, but always fell apart after, sobbing and shaking in Ben’s arms. She’d crawl over his body and bury Her face in his chest, he’d feel fucking sick, and wish he could bring Homelander back to life just to fucking kill him again. Everyone demanded too goddamn much of Her, and she always gave it because she was too fucking good, and if all She asked for was Ben to go shopping with Her, he’d do it a billion fucking times.

Anything to make Her tap her fingers because she was picking out wall colors and not because she had to explain how She’d killed Sage. Anything to make Her flush because Ben was kissing her neck in the lamp aisle and not because a bunch of old fucking pussies wanted unnecessary details about Her alleged relationship with Soldier Boy.

It wasn’t fucking alleged. They were goddamn married. They had a son and owned a house together.

A house they needed to put things in. And decorate. And make theirs. So if that was what this trip was about, Ben could fucking do it. For Her.

It started simple. They needed more furniture, they found it. 

“We already have most of what we need,” She muttered, pulling Ben through the store. “It’s mostly decorations now. If you see something you like-“

“I’ll like whatever the fuck you like.”

She let out a long sigh. “That not helpful-“

Ben grunted Her name, spinning Her around in his arms and dropping his brow to Her’s. 

“Ben-“

“Listen to me.” He held Her gaze, drawing firm circles in her hips. “I could give a fuck what our house looks like, as long as you like it, and there’s no goddamn blue.”

“But it’s your house too-“

“I don’t fucking care.” He grunted. “I’ve told you, Sunshine, we could be living in a fucking dumpster, and I’d be good.”

She scanned over Ben’s face, and sighed. “Can you promise you’ll at least try to find one thing you want?”

“Deal.” Ben kissed Her, dipping her slightly in his arms and keeping Her tucked to his side when they pulled apart.

For Her, he’d try to find one thing. It couldn’t be that fucking hard. This place was huge. 

At first, there was nothing. She had opinions on the colors and style of their house, and Ben mostly just watched Her be perfect and smart and happy, grumbling low agreements and kissing Her until she smiled whenever he got the chance. That was what he cared about. Not whatever the fuck rustic or sleek meant. Not about what shade of green their bedroom should be, or if they should have the bird or sunset painting, or if a glass vase was better than a ceramic one. 

“Just lie and pretend you have an answer-“

“No. I don’t fucking lie to you-“

“It’s a vase, Ben. I’m not going to freak out and burn the building down because you lie about liking a vase-“

“I don’t give a fuck about the vase.” He snapped. “My job is to buy you the damn flowers-“

“Well,” She raised Her brows, giving him a pointed look. “Where can I put the flowers, if I don’t have a vase?”

Ben scowled. ���Smartass.”

“You love it.” She gave him a sweet smile, and he really fucking did. “Choose a vase, Pretty Boy.”

Ben rolled his eyes, glaring between the options, and decided they were both fucking stupid. “No.”

“Benjamin-“

“Get that one.” He pointed to a third, smaller one. It was the same color as Her eyes, and had little golden patterns. He didn’t hate it. “It’ll fit on the dresser.”

She paused, tapping Her fingers on Ben’s arm, and nodded slowly. “Okay.” She gave him a wider, purely fucking adoring smile, and Ben felt his whole body grow radiant. “Thank you.”

“Don’t.” He grumbled, kissing the side of Her head, and a dam broke inside of him. 

Suddenly, Ben had a lot of fucking opinions. A red carpet would look fucking stupid in the living room, and Ben didn’t want a weird, twisting lamp on his bed stand. They’d get the shower curtain with little octopuses—octopi, Benjamin—because they made Her smile, but Ben would give MM a fucking blowjob before he used as towel with ducks on it.

“But they’re cute-“

“No.” Ben snapped, grabbing a stack on plain, monotone towels, and dumping them into the cart. “They’re fucking towels, Sunshine, they only need to dry us off.”

“I know, but look at them!” She held the ducks up, giving Ben a pretty pout that was designed to fucking kill him. “Please? Just one?”

Ben scowled. She knew what the fuck She was doing. Looking so fucking beautiful and leaning into his body and making Her sharp eyes soft just for him. He couldn’t say no to Her. He’d never really want to, anyway. Not when he grabbed the towel, tossed it in the cart, and Her smile had the same effect as fucking heroine.

“One.” He grunted. “Because I fucking love you, brat, you get one.”

She kept smiling at him, holding his face between Her hands and kissing him right on the nose. “Thank you, my love-“

Ben rolled his eyes, and dragged Her into a longer, firmer kiss. Until She was a sighing and humming and melting into him, before grabbing Her hand and tugging her to the next isle.

They got shampoo—Ben tried to pick his own out, She looked like she was going stab him or set him on fire, and he decided to let Her handle that shit—a bunch of picture frames, and a lot of useless decorative shit that they didn’t need. Small potted plants that would have to be kept out of the bedroom, a fuck ton of books that She’d probably already read, and some nice, dark green plates. 

Ben took over for groceries—that might be the only place in the world where She didn’t know what the fuck she was doing—and he kept it simple. Pancakes. Ice cream. Bagels. Strawberry cream cheese. Coffee. Chocolate. Something called Lunchables that Ryan seemed to like. Apple sauce, because on worse days that was all Ben could get Her to eat, and he’d be damned if he let Homelander keep haunting them like that. Whiskey. Burger patties-

“You know there’s only three of us, right?” She was hanging off of Ben’s arm, giving him an amused look as he tossed a second bag of apples into their slightly overflowing cart. “And we can come back if we host dinner with the team.”

Ben frowned. “You told me Butcher was hosting-“

“He is. I’m saying that’s why we don’t need so many-“

“We need to be fucking prepared.” Ben muttered. “Shit happens, Sunshine, and I’ll be fucking damned if I let us go hungry-“

Ben.

He grunted Her name, glancing down to see open, obvious amusements painted over Her pretty features. 

Are you fucking Cold War prepping.

Shut up.

She snorted. Holy shit, you are-

I said shut the fuck up. We need to be goddamn careful, and it’s my job to make sure you and Ryan are safe-

That’s not your job, Ben. She sighed, giving him a soft smile that lit up his whole fucking body. But, if it was, you already do an amazing job, without being an old, paranoid dinosaur. And remember, She squeezed his hand, raising Her brows slightly. Ryan’s literally invulnerable, and I fuck an atomic bomb every day. We’d be fine.

Ben scowled, but put the third bag of apples back. We fuck at least three times a day.

I know. I’m there.

You fucking start most of it-

You’re just proving my point, Pretty Boy.

Shut up.

From there, She made him go look at fucking pants and shirts. Only so She could send Neuman orders for their specialized, supe-proof clothing, but still needing Ben’s actual fucking opinions. He didn’t fucking care about clothing, and he trusted Her with his fucking life, so she ended up making most of the choices as Ben grunted in approval. 

They were almost done. And this had been fun—he’d never tell Her that, but he was also pretty damn sure she knew—but Ben wanted to go the hell home. To drop all this shit in the doorway, carry Her upstairs, and fuck Her until she screamed his name so loud all the glasses in the house fucking broke. 

All that was left was getting something called a Roomba.

“What fuck is that thing.” Ben muttered, frowning at the metal disc in Her hands. It just looked like fucking junk.

“It’s a robot.”

“A fucking what.”

“Robot. Robot vacuum. It’ll clean the floor-“

“That circle is going to clean the floor-“

“Yep.” She glanced at the label on the shelf. “Do you think we need max power? I don’t really know what average power would do- Ben-“

He’d grabbed the robot—fucking robot—from Her, and was examining it. He didn’t know what the hell he was looking for, only that he wasn’t finding it.

“Ben-“

“This thing is not a fucking robot.” He muttered. “Robots aren’t real.”

“They very much are real, old man.”

“There’s not a chance in fucking hell this thing can clean a floor-“

“Well, it does.” She took the circle back, placing it into the cart and giving Ben a teasing look of disbelief. “Are Roomba’s really going to be the thing that gets you about the 21st century?”

He scowled. “They’re not fucking real, Sunshine-“

“Benjamin, my love.” She moved to stand right before him, holding his gaze to Her’s with amusement dancing all over Her perfect face. She was so fucking beautiful. “You can throw nuclear energy with your brain, pick up trucks with one hand, and I’ve seen you jump off a building without flinching. We’re fuck-buddy-brain-connected. When I orgasm, I make both of us hallucinate. This,” She pointed to the so-called robot. “Cannot be the thing that gets you.”

Shut up, brat. Ben rolled his eyes, kissing the back of Her hand before glaring around the rest of isle. Are all of these things fucking robots.

No, these are just normal vacuums.

Does this place have other robots.

Yeah, probably.

Ben’s eyes narrowed. Where.

———————

You’ve made a grave error.

You don’t think you’re ever going to leave this Costco. 

After the Roomba, you’d shown Ben robotic litter boxes, and drones, and a smart speaker. You’re pretty sure that’s where you’d went wrong. 

“This thing can hear me?”

You’d nodded, watching him with a small smile you were having a hard time fighting. To any passerby, Ben would’ve looked furious, but you know him. Know that right now, his clenched jaw and narrowed eyes meant that he was shocked and confused. 

It helped that you could feel it, pricking on his skin and cloudy around his head. It was kind of adorable. 

“It can hear all of us.”

He’d scowled. “Why the fuck is it listening-“

“So you can tell it what to do. Here, look- Alexa? Play Steely Dan.”

“Playing- Steely Dan.”

Low music started to fill the space, and you’d had to bite your cheek to stop the snort at Ben’s expression. He’d looked like he’d been shot. It had been adorable. 

And now, two fucking hours later, you didn’t think you’d ever get sick of that expression on his face. He was like a five-year-old loose in a candy shop, walking from aisle to aisle and asking you grumbling questions about various technologies and appliances. If you’re being honest, the only time you’ve seen him look close to this was whenever he’d fuck you. It was a similar expression of pure, raw joy and wonder, but devoid of all the darkened, animalistic need. 

“What the fuck are these?”

“Security cameras.” 

Ben frowns. “They look like fucking doorbells.”

“They’re both.” You say, resting your head against his chest, and he nods slowly.

“We should get one.”

“Ben-“

“For fucking safety, Sunshine, it would be damn insane not to have cameras when all those fucking pussy Homelander supporters are still out there-“

“I agree, my love.” You smile at him, forcing yourself not the climb into his arms as his concrete concern and resolve wrap around you. “That’s why I asked Hughie to install some already.”

Ben pauses, something hot and sore flaring on his skin. “Why the fuck did you ask Hughie.”

“He’s a tech nerd, and Annie said he’d know the best ones to get.” You kissing the underside of Ben’s jaw, humming against his skin. Next time, I’ll ask you, Benjamin. It’ll be so fucking funny to watch you try to install them.

Ben scowls, adoration flaring in his chest as the soreness eases, and you manage to walk him away from the doorbells. 

Most of the afternoon has mostly become walking Ben away from things. For some stuff, it’s easy. Noise canceling headphones wouldn’t work on him. You don’t need a slightly larger TV, because your current one is perfectly fine. You don’t have the space for a hot tub.

“What about these.” He points to the third golf set, and you sigh.

“Ben, you hate golf. You’ve told me it’s a weak fucking pussy sport.”

“And it fucking is, but these things can be damn good weapons-“

“We are not buying weapons.”

“What if someone fucking breaks into the house with a gun-“

“You and Ryan are bullet proof, and I can’t be killed-“

“What if it’s a fucking supe-“

“Then you can blast them with your special sauce, and they won’t be a supe.” You wrap your arms around him, raising your brows. “We’ll be fine, Ben. No golf clubs.”

He scowls, and moves on. 

From the golf clubs. And the iPad, and other security cameras, and air hockey table.

But other things are harder. 

Because you make a second mistake. You agree with him that you should buy a generator, because it’s practical. But what Ben learns is that you can say yes to things. And now you have an ice cream maker, an air fryer, a truly unreasonable amount of batteries, and lawn sprinklers.

And a vibrator, because Ben had grabbed it, shoved it into the cart, and raised his brows in a silent challenge.

You’d sighed. Ben, I don’t need-

I’m going to have to travel, Sunshine-

I know, but I think I can keep it together until you get back to fuck me yourself.

Or. Ben had winked at you, and you felt his hunger spread in your gut. We could do that Zoom shit, you could imagine that thing is me. He’d lowered down, starting to leave wet, sloppy kisses up your neck. And I could tell you exactly how I’d want to fuck you. How I’d play with that perfect fucking pussy until you were begging for me, then I’d stuff that smart fucking mouth with my cock and start to finger fuck you, make your squirt on my hand while you choke on my dick-

You’d buried your face in his chest, muffling your whimper in his shirt. Jesus fucking Christ, Ben-

You like that, darling? Like thinking about how I fill you up, how fucking good I pound into that pussy, how I make you cum on my cock and hands and face-

You’d agreed to buy the vibrator, but mostly because if he had kept talking, you might have climaxed just from Ben’s voice.

You should’ve left Costco an hour ago.

But Ben still doesn’t seem to be done yet.

“How the fuck are they doing that.” He mutters, poking remote and watching the LEDs shift from green to pink to yellow for the fifth time. 

“Semiconductors.” You say, trying not to look like such a dopey, lovesick idiot as you smile at him. “We do have to go home soon. Ryan’s almost done with school.” 

Ben grunts, grabbing one of the LED light strings and holding it up for you to see. 

You take it from him, kiss his cheek—your lips barely brushing his beard before he’s moving you to his mouth, and you almost fall over—and place the box in the cart.

The total amount of money you’ve spent today is disgusting, but the grin on Ben’s face makes it worth it. All of this is so fucking worth it, because you’re happy in such an average, normal way. You’re happy because Ben’s happy—glowing and furious in your whole body—and he’s everything. He grabs you a chocolate bar in the checkout isle without you asking, and insists unloading everything into the trunk himself.

“Go wait in the car, Sunshine-“

You shake your head, trying—and failing—not to gawk at him. So goddamn handsome the broad daylight, muscles flexing as the moves bag after bag, all yours to climb like a tree when you get home-

You won’t have to get until your get home.

Ben chuckles as you stare at him, and the moment the last bag is in the car he grabs you by your wrist, tugging your back into his chest and slamming his lips down to yours. It a rough, heavy kiss that probably isn’t appropriate for a parking lot, but you can’t really bring yourself to care. Ben’s love is strong and focused and everything in the world that matters. He’s swaying you back and forth in his arms, grinning as he nips at your lower lip and tugs a little at your hair, and you don’t think you’re ever going to get enough of him. Of how forceful and bloody and devout his love is, just in broad daylight when you’ve done nothing but smile at him. 

When he pulls away, neither of you bother to fully separate. Ben grins at you, and you smile at him, and when he brushes a little hair away from your face you do the only thing you can think of, and kiss him again. Softer this time, moving your hands to hold his face, allowing yourself to feel so purely safe and warm in the best place in the world. In Ben.

Because you know this will never fade. The love for him in your body that only grows more and more powerful with every passing moment. That you’ll always feel Ben’s love for you, no matter if you’re resting in heaven—caged between Ben’s body and a bed, sleeping or fucking or just smiling at him—breaking down in a hell you’ve visited countless times in life and will visit more in sleep, or standing somewhere domestic and mundane. 

You have a life now where you get to be domestic and mundane. Where you get to make out with your husband in a public place, until someone rolls down their window and wolf-whistles, and you have to restrain Ben from picking up their car and throwing it across the lot. Where you get to drive home with Ben’s hand on your thigh and your head resting on his shoulder, and you get to act like that’s all your life has ever been.

It’s all it will have to be now. 

For the rest of your life—which will likely be simply the rest of time—all you’ll have to do is be domestic. You don’t think you can be mundane, not when Ben grumbles something and you can feel his love spark and flare in his chest, or when you park the car and Ben carries all fifteen of your heavy bags inside at once without even a grunt. You can’t be mundane when, the moment he puts the bags down, you jump on him, he fucks you against the kitchen counter, and you burst into a flame that sets off the smoke alarm and drenches you both in the sprinklers. 

But you can be domestic. You can dry off and cook dinner with Ben—like a normal husband and wife probably do—and let him wrap his body around you and kiss that spot on your neck until you give up on focusing and ride him on the floor. 

You can eat with Ben and Ryan, try not to laugh as Ben works out how the ice cream maker works, and curl in Ben’s arms on your couch. Watching TV and sitting easily in the dark.

Ben can tilt your head back for a deep, slow kiss, smirking against your lips when you moan, and mutter your name like a prayer.

“You’re fucking perfect,” he says, rubbing firm circles on your thigh, and you let out a long, slow breath as you flush.

“I think you abuse that word, Benjamin,” you mumble, and he shrugs.

“I don’t give a fuck. You are.” He frowns, turning you to face him in his lap. “I fucking love you, Sunshine, you’re my whole fucking world-“

I know. You smile, leaning down for another, softer kiss that makes Ben groan in your mouth and the whole world start to get a little hazy. I love you, too.

He grunts, but doesn’t bother to do his usual pushing about how you still don’t get how much he loves to you. You do get it. You can feel it, and it’s the most powerful thing in the world. Sometimes you worry Ben doesn’t understand how much you love him. How you can’t even begin to picture a world where you’d never clawed your way through blood and grime to find him. How you can feel his love and resolve and care all the time, and your own love is so eternal and vast you could probably power a universe with it. 

But you’ll have all of time to fight with him about who loves who more. 

Right now, everything can just be Ben and you on a couch, eating ice cream, and knowing that this—You and him, burning together—is forever.

End Note: Had to make the smart speaker an Alexa. We are in an Amazon based universe. I don’t think they sell Alexas at Costco, but we’ve established that Costco sells whatever I want it to sell. So, Alexas.

If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3

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Taglist

@manicjk @lordofthunderthr @artemys-ackles @brtodd @sthefferrete

@lyarr24 @deansbbyx @bakugotypecrashout @foolinthera1n @globetrotter28

@youdontknowe @nyrtopia @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @panicking-outside-the-disco @Ambiguous-avery

@elle14-blog1 @impala67rollingthroughtown @dumb--blonde @heyimolive @alwaystiredandconfused

@kamisobsessed @generalmoonpolice @foxyjwls007 @Jackles010378 @ilovedeanwinchester4 @immastealurkneecaps

@star-yawnznn @Chi-raz @Lori19 @wynnthewynnder @fultiana-kh @woaheasytig3r

@lovelywebber

[awkwardandeccentric]

You know how Stolas was…eh…mostly stable throughout the montage until Blitz flipped the couch and told him about Sinsmas? And then he was all over the place? Pushing Blitz’s buttons, crying spells, etc. Everyone’s pointed out a few reasons why that could be- off his meds, flashback to Stella via couch-flipping, whatever routine this autistic birb had since the trial being stripped away, feeling stupid because all of Hell knew about this holiday except him, he’s repeating the words of others who kept him from having fun, etc.- but maybe he also just doesn’t like holidays anymore?

If the Not-Divorced party was anything to go off of, ‘holidays/anniversary/birthdays’ means ‘let’s get together and publicly traumatize Stolas.’ By being bratty, he’s probably subconsciously bracing himself to be mocked and abused. And by being bratty about it, he’s getting in the jabs first.

The holidays are very hard for a lot of people for this reason. I used to come home with travel liquor and chug it when I woke up and after opening gifts just to get through the day. Stolas is a lot of things, but bratty (outside wanting Blitz to punish him 😉) isn’t one of them. And I have to think he was being hurtful for reasons other than ‘spoiled rich kid.’

[causenessus]

Nightmares. | Bungou Stray Dogs

inc: dazai, chuuya, tecchou

written in 2nd pov (female reader implied at least for chuuya)

song recc: roslyn by bon iver

word count: 1064 words

summary: "how do they take care of you when you have a nightmare?"

sorry if they all seem the same D: i tried to make them all unique and i can see the difference between each character in how they would treat u but i know it's small i'm sorry they're all just such green flags and would be the sweetest <3

dazai

has had so many nightmares himself he knows just how to take care of you

having someone with him at night helped reduce the stress and the number of ones he has <3

you’ll wake up from a nightmare, crying out as you shoot up and he’s there for you from the very start, sitting up as well and shushing you, pulling you to his chest

“it’s okay, it’s okay,” he kept repeating as he drew your head near to his chest. “deep breaths, bella,” he encouraged softly, holding your face so that you were looking directly into his eyes while he gave you a gentle smile. he ran his hands through your hair, smoothing it out until your breathing calmed down

is super patient with you throughout the whole process, will not act sleepy in the slightest so that you don’t feel bad for waking him up or anything else

�� ‘m sorry I woke you,” your voice shook as you tried to take a deep breath, wiping the tears away from your eyes.

he took your hands off your face, using his own to brush away your tears with all the care in the world. “don’t be sorry, I was half awake anyway. take your time, love.”

he’ll offer to listen if you want to talk about it, but he understands if you’re not ready yet

tries to coax you back to sleep soon after because he wants you to rest

but he knows from experience how hard it can be when your mind is racing

the reason it’s helped him so much to sleep with someone though is bc it can take your mind off the dream <3

he’ll position you against his chest and between his legs while he rests against the headboard of the bed. he’ll intertwine his arms with yours, rubbing circles on your wrists while he hums softly to distract you

if you’re feeling sensitive to noise, he’ll place his hands over your ears instead, using his thumbs to rub the sides of your head

he’s there for whatever you need him to do. during your first nightmare with him, he’ll still be figuring out how you react to them. after that, he'll remember exactly what you need and want from him. he wants to make sure you feel safe and comfortable no matter what <3

chuuya

wakes up first while you’re still tossing and turning in your dream

he’ll sit up and lean over, waking you as gently as he can. he’ll cup your face as you wake up, brushing anyway any tears with warm hands

“hey, hey, it’s okay. you’re okay. it’s just a bad dream. I’m right here. you’re safe,” he whispered softly as you woke up shaking, your breathing erratic

he kisses away the rest of your tears, touching you so gently and with so much love

asks if you want to talk about it and if you need anything else which he’ll be happy to get for you

afterward, he’ll pull you close to his chest, one hand on your head and the other around your waist, making you feel secure and protected

I think he’d be the type who would keep talking the whole time, distracting you from your thoughts. he’ll talk you through everything he’s doing, he’ll continue to comfort you, and will talk about any other random thing once you both have laid back down

probably tries to make some jokes a little bit before you head back to sleep as well to make you feel better

“sometimes, that stupid dazai shows up in my dreams and I just know it’s not a coincidence. there’s no way that scheming blockhead doesn’t have some mysterious way of communicating and entering people’s dreams. and he does it just to piss me off. ugh, just thinking about it makes me upset,” he ran a hand through his hair, smiling when you let out a small laugh, wiping away the last of your tears with the back of your hand.

he took your hand in his own and kissed it softly, “there’s my pretty girl. see? you’re safe, nothing bad is gonna happen.”

tecchou

does not wake up

you wake up from your nightmare, eyes bleary and heart racing. the only thing you want is to be in his arms so you wake him

once he sees your tears though he’s up immediately, hands on your face as he wipes them away, “oh angel, what’s wrong?”

you place your hand over his own, “just a nightmare…I’m sorry I didn’t know what else to do.”

“nothing to be sorry about,” he says softly, a smile on his face as if you had said something funny, “that’s what I’m here for. I’m glad you woke me up.”

he suggests making a warm drink to calm you down if you’re up for it 

in his experiences, he’s found it best to get up and change his surroundings in order to get his mind off a bad dream

if you say yes, he’ll make you something to drink before sitting next to you in the kitchen. he’ll be with you the whole time, telling you that he’s willing to listen if you want to talk about it or anything else if you don’t want to think about it

will have a hand on your thigh or back, rubbing it slowly to comfort you

when you both head back to bed, he’ll hold you close to him, one hand intertwined with yours to let you know he’s there while the other runs through your hair <3

if you don’t want to get up from the bed, that’s okay too, he’ll ask you what you want him to do and makes sure your every need is taken care of <3

kisses your forehead as you both lay back down, then draws patterns across your skin with one hand. the other one flat against your lower back to keep you pressed against him

if you’re still a little scared, he’ll continue to comfort you and reassure you that it’s okay. he’ll wipe away any more tears and stay awake the whole time. he tries to make sure he hears your breathing slow and that you’ve fallen back asleep before he closes his own eyes again to make sure that you get the rest you deserve <3

[letstripdotcom]

losing sleep - matt sturniolo x fem!reader

a/n: much needed enemies to lovers bc i’m a SLUT for enemies to lovers. also country song fic bc i’m a little southern girl🤠

summary: matt sturniolo was the boy you hated most. it wasn’t always that way. one day he just decided he hated everything about you. that was until you slowly started to break down every wall off hatred and anger.

warnings: smut (eventual) mentions of being drunk/drinking, mentions of family problems

well i’ve been losing sleep

like a man loses time

reminiscing over memories

bouta lose my damn mind

he was the kindest, sweetest person to walk the planet. he was absolutely adorable. everyone admired him, and worshiped at he’s feet. matt sturniolo could do no wrong. he had the sweetest smile and the kindest eyes, and he didn’t have a mean bone in his body

but that wasn’t the case for you. matt hated you actually. he couldn’t stand being around you. you genuinely didn’t know why either. you didn’t have a reason to hate him, other than the fact that he hated you.

every time you spoke, he would shut you up by throwing a mean comment at you. when you walked into the room he would groan. he just seemed so bothered by you, but you never asked why. the once time you tried the only thing he said to you was “don’t ever talk to me again” and so you didn’t.

you and matt were best friends at one point. you spent every day together one summer and you were inseparable. you would wake up, go to the triplets house, do whatever, and when the moon came out your adventures had just begun. on the night everything changed you were too blacked out to even recall what had happened. you just woke up the next morning and matt wasn’t talking to you anymore.

-

matt’s pov:

people constantly ask me why me and y/n don’t get along the way we used to anymore, and as much as i want to tell them it’s because i hate her, she’s a terrible person, and things will never be the same, i know that’s not the full truth.

yes i hate her annoying voice, and i hate when she talks about boys, or when she comes to nick crying because some boy broke her heart. i hate the way she laughs and i hate how she squeals when she gets excited. i hate everything about her, but i used to love her once.

it wasn’t until a drunken night in late july that everything changed. y/n and i sat out by the pool at her house as we passed a bottle of pink whitney and talked about our lives. a lot of that night was a blur. but i remember kissing her. we were both so shitfaced, and so stupid.

“hey matt?” she spoke up “hmm?” i turned my head to look at her, as the world around me spun. “would you ever kiss me?” she asked. “i don’t know y/n, why?” i stared at her trying to read her expression to see what she was thinking. she leaned in and kissed me like it was something we did all the time. it was messy, but it was sweet. but what i didn’t expect was what she said to me after.

“matt i think you should leave.” she slurred

“y/n i’ve been drinking i can’t drive.” i argues

“you can sleep on the couch tonight but you need to be gone by the morning matt, i can’t do this.” she demanded

“do what?” i asked

“i’m sorry matt. goodnight.” she got up and stormed inside

and that was the night everything between us changed. i wasn’t friends with y/n after that day. when people noticed the distance between us, i had told them we got into an argument. i told them how much i hated her for it, and i told them i would NEVER love her the same again.

in august, my friend nate threw an end of summer party. i went, but i avoided y/n at all costs. i sat by his pool alone, downing a bottle of malibu. i wanted to just drink until i wasn’t thinking about y/n, but it’s like she never went away. the more i drank the more i thought about her.

i pull out my phone as i start to type her contact in. i’m so drunk i can barely make out the letters, but i try my best. i need to call her. i just have to make things right. i know she’s got nothing left to say, but i should call anyways. just then, nate comes outside. “yo matt are you okay?” i didn’t call her that night, and i didn’t fix things.

-

time skip

-

i roll my eyes when i walk into my house and hear her voice. she’s laughing about something. i hate that stupid laugh. what could possibly be so funny? i scoff as i walk by. as i pass nicks room, it takes me a few moments to register she’s not laughing, she’s crying.

just then, i get a text.

nick

y/n is having serious family problems right now, be nice when you get home pls!

i’m not home right now, but she needed a place to stay.

me

👍

i stand outside nicks door for a moment before turning to the kitchen. i grab my tub of mint chip ice cream and a bag of blue takis. those were our favorite snacks when we were kids i quietly walk up to nicks door and knock lightly. she let out a broken “come in” i opened up the door with a soft smile and i hand her the snacks i grabbed

we didn’t speak to each other at all, but we didn’t need to. she took the snacks and scooted over on the bed, signaling me to sit down. i sat down and engulfed her in a hug. she pressed her head against my chest and began sobbing.

i held her in my arms all night. we didn’t talk, and she just cried. i never wanted to let go of her and expose her to whatever else could happen to her. i didn’t need to ask her what happened, and she didn’t need to ask me why i was letting her do this. eventually, we fell asleep. i held her like if i let go she would disappear.

part 2 tmr! ❤️

[caramel-maveeato]

ᴀ ᴍɪᴅɴɪɢʜᴛ'ꜱ ᴅᴏꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴄᴀꜰꜰᴇɪɴᴇ ♡˚₊。。。

❧❤ SYNOPSIS: pre-exam stress… (same) ♡ Pairings/Love interest: So Mun x GN!reader ♡ Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort ♡ TW: implications of stress, overworking, anxiety, slight cursing, crying. ♡ word count: 1.3k

Note: All characters originated from “The Uncanny Counter/Amazing Rumor” except for Y/n.

English is not my first language!!! Sorry in advance if I make any grammar and vocabulary mistakes.

Another all-nighter. 

Papers and half-finished cups of coffee cluttered on your desk, too-brightened laptop's screen amplified the urge you have to collapse. 

Studying was never your weakness. Most of the time, you were always able to ace any tests or quizzes perfectly with the proper amount of effort. But recently, all things appeared to be pointing a spear at you and whatever tasks failed miserably when they reached your hands. Everything merely fueled the raw chaos of strain and frustration you put yourself through. 

“What the fuck is this supposed to mean?”

Neatly printed words wobbled into a mess when your gaze scanned through them, suddenly the language you’ve known by heart sounded like some incomprehensible nonsense, entering this ear and leaving through the other ear. At this point, you didn’t even remember what your last name was; the only thing that repeated itself in your head was how disastrously you were going to fuck this upcoming exam up. 

Pathetic.

You glanced at the clock, your vision blurry at the number it showcased. It wasn’t the weariness that clouded your eyesight, but a layer of fog had ragingly obscured it. 

This isn’t the time to cry, all of these stupid crammings have already dragged you through hell and back. But under the influence of pent-up stress and exhaustion, aggravation kept gushing out from your tired eyes like downpours no matter how hard you fought it back.

No game was played, yet you still felt like a loser, sobbing helplessly at your desk in the dead of night.  

Caught in the whirling tempest of your vulnerabilities, your guards dismantled completely, rendering the abrupt sound of your door open powerless to distract you.

“Love…”

Like a soothing note of a melody or a lifeline thrown into the abyss, you instantly recognized this voice among the piteous snuffles you were unloosing. And the next thing you knew, the owner of that voice had slightly spun your chair around so that you both directly met.

“Mun.” The face of your beloved muddled through your tears, so as a reflex, you forcefully wiped them away to see him clearer: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to act like this… it’s just…”

“Shh, it’s alright, why are you apologizing?” So Mun crouched down in front of you, one hand on your thigh and the other brushed against your tear-stained cheek. His touch approached you like an anchor in the void, solacing the burning trails your tears left behind.

You didn’t know why you apologized either, but it felt like the only right thing to say at the moment. Not wanting to push your already-overwhelmed mind, So Mun ignored a worried sigh he unconsciously let out and enveloped your hand in his, carefully unfolding your anxious grip: “Why didn’t you call me if you’re tired?”

Apart from his extraordinary counter abilities, So Mun must’ve possessed some kind of sixth sense because how on earth did he catch you like this in the middle of the night? But apart from the bitter taste of guilt and shame you drown yourself in, there was no other reason you should be complaining about his presence: “It’s already 2 a.m., and I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Love… what are you talking about?” So Mun’s heart shattered just from the sound of your broken sniffles. His loving gaze carried the weight of shared despair, defining a wordless language that spoke volumes: “You’re never a burden to me. If anything, I should be feeling like a burden for not being able to help you.” 

You shook your head. Half-dried tears once again woke up at their agitation, drenching the tip of your boyfriend’s fingers upon hearing he blamed himself for your breakdown: “No, don’t say that… How are you supposed to—”

“Alright, alright, my bad. I shouldn’t have said that.” So Mun cupped your face, whispering through a reassuring kiss he planted on your lips: “Neither of us is a burden, we’ve got each other, yeah?”

Prompting a reluctant nod from you, his calloused fingertips lovingly consoled the dull, duskened crescents beneath your tired eyes. There wasn’t much he could do, yet he didn’t want to stop trying either: “If so, is there anything I can do for you, sweetheart?”

Silence fell for a split second before you carefully extended your arms, and So Mun spared no time in granting your wish. 

The outer world proceeded at a furious pace. Yet, as soon as you sank into the inviting comfort of his embrace, everything seemed to cease. 

“There we go.” His protective embrace wove a shield that concealed you from exterior chaos, the barrier of defense you constructed for days disintegrated and you surrendered all of the remaining tension, finally handing over the bottled-up exhaustion as you sobbed into his chest: “It’s all good now, baby. I’ve got you.”

Encountered by the familiar strokes on your back, you couldn’t help but press yourself further into the tranquility you’d been missing ever since the weight of responsibilities overgrew, instinctively muttering his name like a prayer song: “So Mun-ah…”

“Yes, I’m here, your So Mun is here.” Every caress of his mended the torn edges of your frayed emotions. You reflexively snuggled up to him while your boyfriend kept kissing your ear and whispering words of comfort, knowing how badly you needed to hear them: “It’s going to be fine, you know you’re doing so great, right? I’m proud of you, baby, so so proud.”

The hug was only broken when you slowly drew away first, otherwise he would’ve had no issue holding you forever. A stain of your tears stood visible on his shirt, bedewing the fabric while simultaneously sprinkling your cheeks with embarrassment: “Sorry, I ruined your shirt.” 

“You’re so silly, stop apologizing.” So Mun pinched your cheek playfully before laying another kiss on your forehead: “Let’s go to sleep, shall we?” 

You know damn well that, aside from the comfort of your boyfriend, sleep is the second most essential thing you need right now. However, work came first; you couldn’t risk blowing this final test which determined whether or not you'd pass the class. The sound of your voice appeared barely louder than a worn-out whistle of the wind, physically and emotionally aching from tremendous overwork: “I can’t. I’m not done studying yet.”

A pout settled on So Mun’s face as worry draped itself over the warm color of his irises. Seeing stress etched lines of anxiety on your face was never a sight of his favor, but he couldn’t bring himself to persuade you to quit since you’ve made it clear how important this exam was to you. Plus, he was endlessly proud of how hard you were working, and he was sure that this profound effort would wonderfully pay off.  

So, with a sigh, your boyfriend patted your head gently: “Just a little bit more, okay? I’ll stay with you.”

You nodded against your boyfriend's hand, grinning. The brilliance of your smile never waned, sending tiny swings into his chest like chaotic ripples on the surface of a pond. And so he gave in to what his heart told him, cradling your face in between his palms once more and peppering delicate kisses all over you. 

Shared touches of laughter penetrated through the eerie shadows of nightfall, and suddenly midnight itself no longer felt cold. 

Finishing the last kiss on your lips, So Mun carefully spun your chair back to the desk, grabbing one of your half-drunk cups that caught his attention: “Coffee at night is a no, but I guess today is an exception for you. I’ll go refill this and be back.”

[Tag List]✿⌦ @slytherinshua (feel free to notify me if you want to be on the tag list)

Dedicated to every So Mun simp out there but explicitly to students because finals are coming and i (we) am dying. WE GOT THIS PEOPLE💪😭!! (also this is like a sorry gift for the angsty fic i know it wasn't that angsty but)

[mioyeo]

Watch your back : Chapter 9

Once you don’t value what you have someone else learns how to take care of what used to be yours

Synopsis : 8 men supposed to give her all the love they promised end up leaving her behind without a valid reason

Pairing : girlfriend Reader x PolyAteez !

Warning : this chapter contains mentions of Ateez being careless , lots of crying , jumping off a cliff etc Please reminding me if I forgot something

Tag list : @legbouk , @scarfac3 , @m4rsluv , @hcyaa , @jackinmyarea , @layzfeelit , @loverlele , @mulletjoonsupremacy , @veneziamadness , @belle643 , @gugggu6gvai , @atinytinaa , @voidcupidz , @atinyreads , @baguette-atiny , @parkthothwa8 , @hwadump , @owjohny , @miaatiny , @honeyymon @tunaasan , @riririyuhn , @vixensss

Word count: 1,5k

" Im so exhausted and my feet hurt "

Wooyoung sighed out as he plopped on the couch massaging his feet groaning

" It took a lot longer than expected "

Yeosang laughed and removed his suit

" I was scared your mom was not going to like me to be honest "

Rin sat beside Wooyoung who chuckled and held her softly planting a kiss on her temple

" My mom is cautious, but she'll grow to like you so don't worry about it "

Yunho who's hair was now messy scratched his chest as he came into the kitchen looking around

" Do we still have those mini crackers? "

He looked inside the cupboards humming

" Don't open them it's from Y/n "

Seonghwa came into the kitchen stressed

" Where is she even? wasn't she supposed to be with us earlier? "

" Yeah but you and Jongho forgot to add her "

" When was I even supposed to ? "

Yunho opened the crackers anyways eating them as Seonghwa looked at him in disbelief

" We clearly talked about this last week ? how could you forget? "

" Gosh Seonghwa chill can't someone forget stuff? And why didn't you add her ? "

The younger walked out the kitchen leaving the elder to himself

" Hwa just go to bed , she's a grown woman "

Mingi yawned coming into the kitchen

"I'm just worried a little since it's really late and her phone is going straight to voicemail "

" Maybe she's on her way home let's just go to sleep she's grown and capable of knowing her way home stop stressing over nothing "

Seonghwa looked at the younger as he sighed , he just couldn't go to sleep like that his heart told him something was wrong and it put a huge weight on him

But at the end he just locked the door and turned the lights off hoping for her to return home by the time he woke up

___

The cold water embracing her body slowly numbed every part of her making it unable to move even if she wanted too

The struggling with breathing wasn't kicking in yet much to her liking

All her thoughts ran out freely as she just let herself sink further into the water

Was this really the right choice?

Or stupid to give up everything she fought for to be here in the first place?

It felt like an eternity as Y/n continued to sink but what scared her was when something grabbed her making her struggle against whatever it was

The muffled underwater screams didn't seem to do anything against the mysterious thing that kept pulling her upwards towards the light  coming from the surface

Y/n kept fighting against the mysterious thing that kept swimming upward

She gasped and coughed as she was held against something rock hard

" Are you insane ? You could've died ! "

The person yelled at her as he panted in fear looking at her

" Why didn't you let me sink ! Nobody would have cared if I disappeared for once "

She cried coughing

" Wait Y/n ? Why the heck would you do such a dangerous thing ?! do you know how much you scared me to death when I saw you jump ? "

It took her a good moment to notice that the person who basically saved her was one of Rowoons friends

" D-Dawon , I- "

" Look we'll talk about this later let's just get out of here before we get sick "

He sighed and started swimming towards the dry part with her on his back

" I'm sorry you had to save someone like me "

" Let's not do this now , I just want you to go home safely with me so we can talk "

He shook his head trying to get the water out his ears before he took her hand and walked up towards the place he dropped his bag when he jumped in

" I'm just glad you're safe "

The boy sighed out trying to calm down since he was still under shock

" I don't want to go home "

" Don't worry I'm not taking you there "

She stood there shivering as she looked at her bare feet while he fished into his gym bag For his towel

" Did you eat anything? "

Dawon dried her hair as she just stood there not responding

" It's ok if you don't want to talk , let's just call a taxi to our dorm since you don't want to go home and I won't force you "

He pulled out his phone called a taxi

" Yes we are near the Han river, yeah exactly there thank you "

She looked at him with tears extremely ashamed and feeling pathetic since she couldn't even succeed in this one thing

" Why did you jump in ? It would've been better if I was gone "

Dawon looked at her as he closed his eyes sighing before hugging her

" I'd never let someone die before my eyes, even if I didn't know you and I'm so glad I did because you're so young and you have so much to achieve, and Rowoon would be so devastated if I hadn't saved you and I'm sure other people as well would be broken "

“ I can’t do this anymore , I’m a failure I can’t even defend myself anymore ”

The girl cried on his wet shirt ,it was a lot of weight on her shoulders and how could she forget about that one person who cared about her the most , who was willing to love her like nobody else ever loved her

" I'm so sorry, I don't know why I did this in the first place I'm so ungrateful "

" Y/n please , it must have been hard if it drove you to do this "

He grabbed her face and wiped her tears away with his thumb before guiding her towards the taxi that just arrived

" Please don't tell Rowoon about this I don't want to worry him more than I have by ignoring his texts lately "

Dawon nodded and shut the taxi door as they drove in silence

———

Both of them entered the dorm quietly careful not to make any noise

" But I don't have any clothes "

Y/n shivered as she hugged herself as Dawon went into his room and came back with some clothes and a towel

" These are new boxers that I just bought recently you can wear them "

She took them and went to change after taking a hot  shower , but most of the time found herself shedding tears or starring at herself at the mirror the boys had in their bathroom

Were did she fail ? , was it really a blessing to still be breathing after her selfish act ?

After drying herself and blow drying her hair she stepped out of the bathroom and ran into one of the boys that was waiting so they could go to the toilet

" Oh I didn't know you were here "

" I myself didn't expect it either but it's good to see you again Jaeyoon "

He smiled and rubbed her head before dismissing himself to go to the toilet

" Hey you finished? "

Y/n nodded and looked around before fiddling with her fingers nervously

" Can you tell me were Rowoon's room is ? "

" He's probably asleep but go ahead it's the second door down the hall "

He smiled and said good night leaving her to herself in the semi dark hallway

Walking towards her best friends room she carefully opened the door and went inside , the room smelled so good it made her feel like home but yet so distant from it

She carefully went unter the covers but held her distance, it's like she felt it kinda being inappropriate being so close to him even thought they had watched films together in her room as he cuddled her

The moon made his face look so perfect and adorable as he slept soundless

How could someone as handsome like him like her let alone love her more than the best friend stage ? It was still a mystery to her

" Y/n is that you ? "

He asked without opening his eyes

" No it's not Y/n "

She changed her voice on purpose stiffening her laugh with tears

" Don't lie to me , it's smells like you "

He pulled the girl closer to him opening his eyes yawning

"Do I smell that good to be recognized ? "

" You always smell good and even from miles away I could tell that it's you "

She smiled softly letting him hold her , her worries long forgotten

“ I’m not even gonna ask you why you’re in my room this late at night , I’m just glad you’re alright and by my presence again ”

He smiled and softly yawned once again

“ Rowoon? ”

The boy hummed and kept yawning

“ Do you still love me ? ”

Rowoon opened his eyes meeting her glossy ones that stared back at him

“I do love you , but why are you asking me this ? Is everything alright? ”

“ How can you love someone as broken and insecure as me ? ”

She looked at him with lips in between her teeth due to her nerves playing with her

“ Because you deserve more , and you stole my heart with how sweet and caring not to forget how beautiful you are ”

The boy took her by the waist and smiled softly kissing her forehead

“These fools don’t know what they are missing out by not appreciating you enough and I just want a chance to show you how much you can be happy and appreciated ”

[barcalover86]

Healthy break up - Pablo Gavi (a)

"Tell me, please. Whatever it is, I will stay by your side. Always"

When Gavi heard what you said he closed his eyes in order not to cry.

"That's the thing, y/n."

"Look, Pablo. It's ok, I promise you. Everything will be ok"

He breathed in and out before he decided to speak.

"You don't deserve what I'm going to tell you and it's hurting me just thinking that you might hate me after this."

"I won't hate you. I can't hate you." you said while trying to console him.

"I tried so hard to get rid off this feeling, trust me. I hate myself for it and if I could control it, I would. These days have been... hard. Really hard and I know you told me multiple times to speak my thoughts to you. That's what people that love eachother do, but I just can't. I've been feeling so lonely and sad without having a reason. We are most of the time far away from eachother and I feel like our schedules can't combine."

With every word that was leaving Gavi's mouth, your heart would break. You still decided to hear him say everything, before you could speak.

"Please, forgive me for this. Please.." he escaped a sob from his mouth. "I want what's best for you and right now I'm not the perfect boy, understand me.. please, y/n!."

Your hands went on your tearful eyes. Gavi took them and wiped your tears away from your face.

"I am sorry that I feel like this. It's all my fault and I'm truly-".

"Shh, shh." you said while touching slowly his cheeks. "It's no one's fault, ok?"

"No, y/n. I'm so stupid. I can't find happiness with you and it hurts me-"

"Pablo, stop." you smiled sadly. "I understand you."

He started to cry in your arms, while your hands went on his hair, playing with it.

"Forgive me.."

"I do, Pablo. I forgive you."

You tried to find the strength to speak again and when you did, you managed hard not to cry.

"Thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me."

"I love you.. I really do." he said it for the last time while looking into your eyes.

And for the last time, you two kissed. A kiss that could be never forgotten..

---------

"It's ok, sweetheart.." your mom said while you were crying hard in her arms.

"He said he can't be happy with me, mama.."

It's been days since you and Pablo broke up and you weren't doing too good. You understood his feelings, but all the time healthy break ups are tge worst. You know he loves you, but sometimes love is not enough.

Gavi was sad and tired all the time. He didn't speak much about your break up, knowing if he would say something that reminds him of you, he would break down right there.

It was hard to pretend that nothing was happening, but this is going to be the best for both of you.

Even now, after time had passed, you would still go to support him at his games. He never saw you, but somehow, he all the time felt you there..

-------

Today you didn't feel the need to do anything, but you woke up because someone was knocking at your door.

You were all moody today and when you saw that there was actually no one standing in front of your door, you got angry until you saw some flowers and a letter.

You were confused and when you saw the initials, you started to tear up.

You looked everywhere. You only wanted to see him. Unfortunately, he was nowhere.

There were your favorite flowers.. he still remembers it.

You open the letter, read it, put it in your heart and closed your eyes.

'Today would have been our 2 year anniversary. I don't want you to be sad or cry. I want this day to remind you that things are going to come and some are going to end. It is part of our lives and we must understand these stuff. You were the person that thought me how to love someone more than myself. You made me shine when I was at my lowest. I hope that this is going to be the step you will do to forget about sadness. Remember our memories, but forget me. Hugs, P. G'

--------

[rinstaro]

attitude

a/n: this is an ask for twilight that i accidentally deleted lol. this one’s gonna be loooooong. i feel really sick today so sorry if it’s really bad 🫠 not proofread because im ashamed of what ive done

cw: overstim <33, clit slapping, twilight being mean cause you pissed him off, you shouldn’t have bitched at him!! he says mean things in the sweetest tone, he still loves you very much, crying, biting, squirting, he cums in you hnnnnn, reader has a vagina and no pronouns

minors do not interact.

twilight was at his wits end. he’d come home to a clean house, a lovely dinner, and yet you were no where to be found. when he ventured into your shared bedroom, you were perched on the bed with your nose in a book. twilight got the feeling you weren’t reading, though.

you glanced at him quickly before letting out a small huff. what was that all about, he wondered. “i’m home, doll,” he smiled, reaching a finger out to push your book down. instead you snatched it away from him, causing him to jump back.

“did you eat?” you asked, still not looking at him. he frowned at your strange behavior. he decided to ignore it, maybe you were just really into that book?

“it was amazing, doll. i cleaned up the dishes for you.”

“hm. thanks,” you mumbled, finally setting your book down. twilight thought you were finally giving him some attention, only to watch you climb off the bed and walk towards the door. “i’m gonna fold the laundry.”

“oh, i did that too.” you grit your teeth. of course he did. he was just doing everything but you, huh?

the reason you were upset at him may have been silly, but you couldn’t help it. when you woke up this morning, there was an ache between your legs. you tried to ignore it, but how could you when your lover was right next to you? it was rare that you woke up before him, so you thought you’d use it to your advantage.

you turned over, wrapping your arms around his waist the same way his were currently wrapped around yours. you leaned up a bit, placing soft kisses on his neck at which he stirred slightly. you pressed your almost naked form closer to him, innocent kisses turning into little love bites. soon enough your lover was awake. “mmm, mornin’.”

“g’morning, baby. sleep well?”

“mhm. always do when you’re next ‘ta me. c’mere,” he mumbled, laying on his back and pulling you into his lap. perfect, you thought.

you ran your hands down his chest, your gaze heated. twilight had closed his eyes again, relishing in the feeling of your body heat. you leaned down, lips hovering over his when—

“are ya comin’ with me today?”

“…huh?”

“you said you wanted to come watch me work, right?” he asked, opening his eyes to look at your confused face. you almost couldn’t believe what you were hearing. here you were in all your glory, horny, barely any clothes on, and he was thinking about work?

you pouted, climbing off of him and laying back down, back towards him. “i’m still sleepy. maybe tomorrow,” you mumbled. twilight thought nothing of it, assuming your attitude was due to you being ‘sleepy’.

“alright, darlin, i’ll see you soon.” without a second thought, twilight rose, planting a kiss on your forehead before going to get ready for the day.

yes, you were pissed off because you didn’t get to fuck your husband in the early morning. damn him for being so hardworking.

now you were standing in the door frame looking silly, still scantily clad with a scowl on your face. “thank you,” you hissed. you had no choice but to walk back to the bed, sitting next to him and picking back up your book. twilight frowned. this was getting frustrating.

“whatsa matter, darlin’? you okay?” he asked directly, prying the book out of your hands. you looked appalled at the fact that he dared take it away from you. “i’m fine—“

“no you’re not. tell me. now.”

“excuse me? why do i have to?” you growled, “whatever. go play with your stupid goats.” with that, you stood once more, marching towards the door. before you could even reach for the handle, your lover’s hand was around your neck, chest pressed to your back.

a growl rumbled in his chest, making you freeze on the spot. you could tell that he was trying to calm his breathing, the grip on your neck pinning you in place. “mind sayin’ that again?”you choked back a whimper, slightly shaking your head no. “i d-didnt mean—“

“you didn’t, huh? so why you been so mean since i got here?” he could feel you swallow. when you didn’t respond, twilight took a moment to sniff the air.

right, just like he thought. surely you wouldn’t talk to him like that for no reason. “how ‘bout you go sit your pretty self back on the bed? i’ll make sure that attitude’s dealt with.”

and that’s how you were tied up by your wrists and stripped bare in the span of 15 minutes.

there were bite marks littering your entire body, coloring your skin in different shades of reds, purples and blues. you trembled, tears decorating your lash line already while your lover sat in front of you and spanked your clit.

“can’t even go one day without me touchin’ this cunt? that’s a lil’ pathetic even for you, doll,” twilight hummed, landing another slap on your clit. you cried out, legs twitching in an effort to close. too bad twilight was absolutely fucking massive. “got me a runner, huh? you know that’s not gonna work, darlin’.”

your pussy was sobbing, a damp spot already formed on the sheets. your clit was so sensitive from his spankings and you didn’t think you could take anymore.

“i-i’m sorry, please let me go! i won’t do it anymore!”

“hm? i’m just givin’ ya what you wanted,” he smirked, thumbing at your over sensitive clit. you gasped, legs trying to close again. he never understood why you kept trying to stop him, you craved his touch. how could he deny you what you had been asking for?

“y’know what? i think you even deserve a reward for waiting for so long,” twilight said while lowering himself and pushing your thighs back, not even giving you a moment to brace yourself as his tongue attacked your swollen bud.

you let out a slutty moan, rolling your hips into his mouth. “ahhn, link!–” finally he was giving you what you wanted and more. you couldn’t help but yell his name, eyes rolling back in pure bliss.

even though he was upset with you, twilight only ever wanted to please you. his dick twitched in his pants at every gasp you let out. more, he needed to hear you more. he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking at your gushing cunt. the tears finally started falling as you came abruptly, overwhelmed by his ministrations and your own sensitivity.

you twisted and turned in your restraints when he didn’t stop, drinking your cum like he hasn’t had water in days. “f-fuuuuck! quit it, let go let go!” you cried. he didn’t listen, not even for a second. instead, he dove his tongue even further into your cunt, viciously tongue fucking you towards your second orgasm. your legs shook in his grasp.

“please please i’m sorry! n-no, no more! too much!” twilight laughed into your cunt at your cries. where’d his tough little darling go? you had only cum once and he was far from done with you.

he kept tongue fucking you until he could feel you cum again, creaming all over his face. he sucked your poor pussy til there was nothing left, pulling away from your clit with a ‘pop’. you continued to shake, eyes squeezed shut. twilight ran his hands up and down your body, massaging the tense muscles. he didn’t need you cramping, he still hadn’t fucked you full of cum.

he gave you a minute before he spoke. “you said you’re sorry?” “mhm,” you whimpered in response. he smiled softly, grabbing your chin and kissing you deeply so you could taste yourself on his tongue. “how you gonna make it up to me? you thought i’d let ya off that easy, brat?” you flinched at his words. his tone was sinister, holding promises that tonight would not end well for you.

“y’know, i was thinkin’ ‘bout you all day. your pretty face never leaves my mind,” he spoke quietly. “neither does that pretty cunt. thought about how my sweet darling feels so good when i fuck them. after all, don’t i deserve something for dealin’ with that nasty attitude of yours?”

as mean as he sounded, he was testing you. seeing if you wanted to stop. after all of that? fuck no. you needed him to batter your pussy til it was sore. you whimpered once more as you nodded, which made your lover laugh.

“there’s my good doll. just needed me to take care of you, right? then you’ll stop all that bitchin’?”

he finally stripped himself of his clothing, making you drool at the sight of him. you squirmed once more, whining at him. “liiiiiiink!” his dick throbbed painfully at the sound of his name coming from you. “please lemme go, i wanna hold you too.”

you’re so damn cute. how could he say no to such a precious request? he was gonna destroy you.

twilight untied the rope binding your wrists, sighing dreamily when your arms wrapped around his neck. maybe he should let you get this needy more often.

“you ready, darlin’?”

“y-yes, please give it to me,” you whispered, looking him right in the eyes. he could’ve came right then and there.

slowly, he pushed his cock into you, the stretch making you hiss. it felt like he was splitting you open every time and you adored it. a broken moan left your throat, toes curling so hard it hurt. twilight was no better off, shuddering when his hips met yours.

“oh my— fuck, move!” you yelped. he started at an easy pace, letting you get used to his size. your eyes rolled into the back of your head, the pleasure sending you into a frenzy. hell, twilight could even feel you trying to fuck him back, your hips chasing his whenever he pulled back.

“that’s it, fuck, let me feel you,” he growled, gradually increasing his pace. your cunt was so wet, clenching around him so hard, he felt like he was in heaven.

“my p-precious darlin’ was just waitin’ for me, huh? needed me to bury my cock in ya? ‘s that all?”

“yes! yesyesyes, please! i love you so much, please!”

twilights pace stuttered, a choked groan tumbling out of his mouth. “i love you, too. gonna make me cum.” you were about to cum yourself, thighs shaking violently. you pulled him into a searing kiss that sent both of you over the edge. you were cumming so hard you couldn’t breathe, cunt squirting all over your husband and yourself. he moaned loudly, thrusts slowing but never stopping as he fucked his cum into you.

you started growing sensitive once more, begging him to stop, to take a break. but he couldn’t, not when you missed him so much and your pussy fucked him so good. twilight suddenly started fucking you at an animalistic pace, his grip on your hips bruising. you were screaming, certain that the entire village could hear you. your poor neighbors.

“fuckfuck, can’t stop, so fuckin’ good, need more,” he moaned out, throwing your legs over his shoulders. your back arched almost painfully. he was so deep you could only feel him. everything felt so good, too good, and you weren’t sure if you could handle any more.

“link, it’s too good! c-can’t take it! can’t— oh my— hahhhh!” your fucked out babbling was cut short as you came again, squirting all over the two of you once more. you felt so good, you were sobbing. twilight chuckled darkly.

“there ya go, jus’ like that. give me all of it til there’s nothin’ left, you hear me?”

[aimbutmiss]

It was another long night in the office for Crocodile.

To be fair, it was never intentional. He always reminded himself to retreat to his sleeping quarters at acceptable hours as he sat down to get some work done, but the idea was forgotten the moment he picked up a document.

So, he had severe time management problems. Whatever.

He dropped the paper he was holding and rubbed his temple with a groan. He was getting too old for sleepless nights like this. But work never ended with Cross Guild. He had a lot of things to overlook, even with the help he had from Daz and Buggy, who surprisingly made quite the good businessman. And maybe he was being a bit too cautious—too detailed with his work, but he found out the hard way that attention to detail payed off. He wasn't new to all this, he had built Baroque Works from ground up and he had also very much done the same with Cross Guild. He was proud of his meticulous work habits. No matter how many sleepless nights he had, it was always worth it.

And he loved his office; it was his safe place. He loved having a little corner to himself, away from everyone and everything. Karai Bari was loud, always home to some type of festivity. Crocodile was never one for such ruckus, and only allowed it because it helped with crew morale. But no matter what stupid thing was going on out there, he could shut it out and hide in the peaceful silence of this room. He could crunch numbers day and night, without having to deal with nightmares in his bed.

Yes, Sir Crocodile had nightmares; for he was human like any other.

He wasn't ashamed of his demons, but he'd never admit it to anyone if asked about it. He had spent years building the strong, powerful persona he had. He had convinced many that he was invincible, without weakness. It would all crumble if the world found out he woke up in cold sweat some nights, tears staining his face.

Monsters did not cry.

He slammed his head on the desk and closed his eyes for a second. Trying to get his much needed rest from a few seconds of shut eye was ridiculous, but it was better than nothing.

Before he could get up and get back to work, the door to his office slowly opened. He could have looked up to see who it was, not that there were many people who would walk into his office in the dead of night, but he decided to act as if he had fallen asleep for some reason. He just... felt like it. He didn't move an inch as footsteps approached closer to his desk.

"That could be a fire hazard, you idiot."

The mysterious intruder turned out to be just Buggy, which was weird. The clown had no reason to pay him a visit, especially not at this hour. The man picked up the lit cigar on the ashtray and put it out. A few second later, he gently laid a blanket on the "sleeping" man's shoulders, making sure he was covered up nicely. He hadn't moved from his place, so he must have detached his hands to pick it up from wherever.

"You don't have to work yourself this hard, you stubborn old man."

Crocodile was suddenly hyper aware of everything: the smell of Buggy's newly washed hair; his hand on his back, drawing slow circles into his tense muscles... He felt himself involuntarily relax into the touch.

"I could have changed you into something more comfortable and carried you to your bed if you weren't built like a fucking sea king. Oh well, this should do for now."

Before his business partner left the room, he could barely feel him give a kiss on his head. Yet it was enough to make the hairs on his neck stand up.

Buggy walked to the door, trying his best to be silent, and shut the lights. He left with a gentle whisper of "Good night." and Crocodile didn't have it in himself to get up for the next... God knows how long.

Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep just like that. When he woke up the next morning, he had mild back pain from sleeping while hunched over a chair. But despite that, he hadn't slept so well in ages.

No nightmares, just a warm blanket and the lingering smell of shampoo.

[catiuskaa]

My Atlantis [don’t go]

inspired by the songs “atlantis” by Seafret and “can I call you tonight?” by Dayglow.

because the combination chan + second chance + angsty prompts AND my recent ability to fall asleep only past 3am triggered something I didn't know I had in me, lol (I swear I am ok LMAOO)

word count: 3.9k

angst, second chance, good ending.

No matter how many times he had asked himself the past month, he never could come up with a reason for it.

“Chan, you ok?” Seungmin inquired, popping his head through the door. The eldest snapped out of his zoned-out state and smiled, starting to tease the younger in a sing-song voice.

“Aw, Seungminnie, you’re so cute!”

Since the comeback, the members had all been busy, and it was known by the other seven that despite the lack of sleep and rest, the many concerts and shows. If there was one of them that would never say anything about how fucked up he felt, it was Chan.

Chan wouldn’t complain about anything. He’d rather stay hidden, quiet, hoping to merge with the furniture in his room so he wouldn’t feel so tired anymore.

It wasn’t new for the others, and Chris always felt a speck of guilt trail up his spine when any of them came by his room, only to find him sunken in his computer, his headphones blasting music so loudly that there was no hope of calling for the Australian unless you poked him —or in Minho’s case, throwing anything remotely close to the target, like his slipper, usually passed the level— Chan would go into off mode.

What they didn’t know, however, is why. Because usually, he was just tired, but nowadays, there is another reason.

He often trailed off conversations, zoning out. He had always been like that, often related to his insomnia.

Only one member knew the existence of the other new reason.

You.

“Hey, I made brownies!” Felix shined, entering his fellow bandmate’s room.

Lix watched Chan munch on his baked goods for what felt like a lifetime.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, the corners of his mouth full of crumbs, like his bed.

“I didn’t say anything.”

Chan tsked, smiling weakly. He had fallen for it. “Never fucking mind. Can I get a hug?”

Felix held back his tears, approaching the elder in a tight embrace. Chan’s strong facade crumbled.

“You should go see her, Chan. I don’t care what you have to say about it, but whatever happened is breaking you apart. It’s been so long, anyways.”

Chan laughed, even though he sighed slightly heavier than usual, with a teary grin on his features.

“I still fucked up, mate, whether it’s one week or one year. I fucked up bad.” He stopped and swallowed dry, quickly brushing away the tears that threatened to fall. “I can’t just show up at her place.”

The younger brushed away a stray tear that ran down his cheek. “You either go there or let it eat you from the inside,” Felix spoke carefully. “And I won’t give you the second choice. If you don’t go with her, I’ll make the call. That is your choice.”

Even if he found himself walking to your apartment, unconsciously, he still couldn’t give an answer to the question that kept bugging his mind.

He listened to the sound the birds made despite it being so late. He moved slowly, almost wandering, until the door to your home surprised him. He felt a shiver run up and down his spine. You weren’t exactly on speaking terms.

God, he was so scared. What was he doing?

He cursed under his breath, cussing himself out, his stupidness, his acts. He started crying without realising.

What else, if not him being an idiot, would explain why he had lost you?

“Chris?”

No one except you said his name in a way that felt so different, so special.

“…Is everything ok?”

He turned around to face you. He felt the tears run down his cheeks, ending on his lips, tasting the salty drops.

“Darling…” He mentioned, his tone anxious, his breathing erratic.

He woke up in a cold sweat. Again, the dream kept repeating, with that detail that always hurt him like the first time. He couldn’t approach you, or he’d wake up, yet he still tried, walking towards you just to open his eyes to face his room’s ceiling.

That was why he couldn’t sleep.

He felt like he deserved it, so he didn’t say anything and decided to put up a fake smile, hoping that one day he’d wake up, either having hugged you or not having that same dream again.

He fell again for you, more profound than he thought possible, and he knew it because just the thought of you pulling him into an embrace felt even better than all the kisses you two had shared. And then it hit him, the answer to his question, one he suddenly despised more than anything.

Why did he let you go?

At first, it was an easy answer. He couldn’t save you from himself, from what surrounded him. He could never take back the things he had said that dreadful night a month ago, when he had lied to you just because he was afraid, afraid of love, terrified of the feelings he had developed for you, and so, so scared that you would get hurt because of him. It wasn’t fair for you, even if he meant entirely the opposite and had just realised how deeply he had fallen for you.

Because in a twist of events, his mind, his days, his songs, everything screamed your name, like a chant you wouldn’t- you couldn’t forget.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” he cried, clinging to his pillow.

Changbin stared wide-eyed at Felix, both able to hear what was happening behind the door between them.

“You call her, or do I?” Bin sighed.

Felix’s eyes almost snapped out of place.

“Since when do you-?”

“C’mon, everyone here knows. He’s so fucking obvious, sighing all day long. It’s going to make him age faster.” Changbin somewhat mocked in a solemn tone. “So?” He shook his phone sideways.

“S’fine. I’m on it.”

Changbin then entered the room, startling Chan, who, after seeing the troublesome look in his friend’s eyes, quickly approached him, leaning on the crook of his neck. The rapper patted his back.

“Why does it ache so much?” Chan questioned weakly, feeling stupid. “I know the fucking dream by heart. How often do I have to see it again until it doesn’t hurt?”

“Because you care, Chan. It’ll hurt.”

“For how long?” He sounded in so much pain.

At this, Changbin sighed sadly.

“As long as you love her.”

[☆ ☆ ✧ ☆ ☆]

When Chris went to open the door days later, he expected anyone behind it. Maybe it was Felix with more brownies, perhaps Changbin wanted to force him out of bed to go to the gym, or Jeongin needed his computer password again.

What he didn’t expect, however, was your figure on the other side, looking even prettier than any of the dreams he had about you.

You took a deep breath, but before you could say anything, he slammed the door, closing it. You could hear him leaning on it, sliding to the floor.

“Fuck, angel,” you cursed.

Angel. The nickname felt like a punch in the face, but he couldn’t help but want another one.

Instead of leaving, you leaned on the door, technically back to back if it weren’t for the wooden structure.

“Felix called me,” you started carefully, head directed towards the door. “Wanna talk about why? He didn’t say.”

Chan remained silent, feeling troubled because, on one side, seeing you could be his downfall, still fuck did he want to let go so much.

But he couldn’t. He had said it himself, year after year, hearing it too many times so that he had it tattoed on his mind. Why were you still behind that door?

Your sad laugh broke him into even more pieces.

“I fell in love, Chan,” you started, staring at the ceiling. “I fell in love with a man so selfless who would die for his loved ones, a man so integrally beautiful that he had no reason to hide his scars because even his battles were gorgeous.” You quickly rubbed your eyes, feeling them itchy as you held back tears. “And I didn’t do it knowing that it would be hard. I just...”

The corridor remained silent as much as the door stayed locked, the man behind it feeling like a small child who needed a big hug.

You gasped for air, your chest tightening, for your need to crumble, cry, and fall.

“Even if I didn’t know back then the crazy fans I’d have to face, or any of Dispatch’s cameramen, I…” Your tearful smile fainted a bit, your features as serious as you were about your feelings.

“I promised myself that if I was right, and you loved me as much as I know I love you, I’d fight for you.”

You unknowingly cried with him, knowing that no one, not even him, could save you from falling as intensely as possible and even more.

He had tried to protect you, save you, keeping you at a safe distance because he didn’t want to hurt you, but God, did it hurt being away from you. He was missing you, even when you were right by his side.

“I believe I did my fucking best, angel. I know you have feelings that make you think you’re the one to blame for what happened, and that makes you just want to give up, and I get it, Chan. That’s not your fault. But when I got hurt because of the accident, it wasn’t your fault either,” you sniffed, looking at the bandage that still covered your forearm, the ankle support you were wearing also crossed your mind.

“Why… why don’t you let me love you?”

You waited patiently, turning so silently that you could swear you heard his unsteady breathing.

“…you said it.”

Your heart skipped a beat when you heard his voice toned down as if he was hiding his face in between his legs.

“I said it wasn’t easy, angel, but that doesn’t mean that I am not willing to try. Don’t think for a second that means I’m giving up on you.”

You sighed, looking at the cloudy day through the window before you.

“Even knowing what I know now, I’d do it again, my angel.”

The silence threatened to break your heart, but you chose to keep fighting against it. You weren’t going to give up. Not yet.

You could still fight for him. Yeah. You could.

“I’m going to leave my sweater here.” You mentioned in a low tone of voice, your features showed calm before the storm. “After I leave, I’ll call and ask for it, and you’ll say that you can stop by my place tomorrow.”

He looked behind him as if he could see through the door. A small and sad smile was planted on his features as he couldn’t help but think your ideas were still as cute as he remembered them. You rose from the door with a grunt, your eyes red and teary, glued to the floor.

“You were always worth every fucking ounce of my effort, Chris, don’t you ever forget that.” 

In a sudden motion, you turned to face the door, startling him when you aggressively grabbed the doorknob, making it tremble, even though you never opened it.

“If… if you choose to just keep the sweater and call it a day,” you gasped, tears running down your cheeks silently. “I need you to know that I never believed what you said that night and… that I love you, angel.”

[☆ ☆ ✧ ☆ ☆]

That night. The night.

The night where he had fucked up so badly.

His mind was a fucking mess, thoughts of you reeling in every minute. Your voice through the door, through the phone when you called asking for your oversized sweater —the same one he was wearing at the moment—.

The memory replayed itself, like how those we want to forget but keep haunting you, coming back.

A month ago, he had gotten a call from the hospital and had 100% freaked out. You mentioned you were fine, that it had just been an accident, but the man decided to rush to you regardless.

“Chris?” You noticed him tense up when you saw him enter your hospital room, his expression clouded with worry.

“Darling, what...? W-what happened?” His lips trembled, eyes wandering to the cast on your left leg and the bandage that trailed your right forearm.

“You should’ve seen the others,” you teased but sighed. “I need you to sit and calm down for a second, love,” you started.

The nickname made him hold back shivers because deep down he knew that if you didn’t call him ‘angel’ it was because something was wrong. He sat on the closest chair he could pick, moving it as if it weighed nothing, and turned to face you as fast as he could.

“I was surrounded by some sasaengs and cameramen. I’ve been for the past week. I never mentioned it to you because there’s no damn way you can do anything about it, and I don’t want to get between you and your job. It’s not my world, and besides, I can tolerate pictures or getting recognized, but, this time...” You took his hand into yours, his glare dull and worried, but you weren’t planning to lie to him after this, so you continued. “The cameramen surrounded me, and that attracted a group of girls. One of them threw coffee at me. Others felt brave enough to start screaming at me, explaining why my relationship was fake and that Chan, well, you, didn’t really love me.” You let out a snicker, but the smile didn’t reach your eyes.

Chris’ mind was working at full speed, immediately blaming himself for not knowing, for not noticing, for not doing anything else rather than what the company told him to do when netizens found out about your existence.

Deny, deny and deny. He lied his way through, but as the events were showing, it wasn’t enough. It was never enough.

He wasn’t enough.

You stroked his face lightly, waking him up.

“I’m okay, angel. I just happened to trip and fall in the wrong place and at the wrong time, and they didn’t care too much about me.” You smiled, sparing him the tale about how the girls started hitting you and throwing stuff at you, the cameramen stepping on you, either accidentally or on purpose. Chan’s eyes got teary when your smile didn’t reach your eyes.

You were in pain, in a hospital, just because of him? That felt… wrong. He loved you, so, so much. He needed to protect you, not just ignore the problem until it solved itself, even if he never knew what was happening in the first place. Guilt started spreading inside him, his chest tightening and his breathing speeding up in anxiety.

And that’s when he started thinking about the alleged master key that would end up being his fatal flaw.

That same night the doctors allowed you to go back home and told you to be careful and to take care of yourself. Chan had helped you, letting you use him for extra support on your way up to your apartment.

You melted on the sofa once you arrived, but you felt it in the tension that kept buzzing around you and your restless lover. You hesitated for a moment, but you could notice something was bugging him.

“Chan?”

He stopped in his tracks, but weirdly, he never turned to face you.

“…Is everything ok?”

You saw his posture tensing, turning to something bewilderingly defensive.

“No. Nothing is.” He breathed slowly, his insides trembling, his heart screaming in his head, telling him to stop talking.

You pouted, confused. “What are you-?”

“Can’t you see it?” His tone was aggressive.

Shut up.

“This isn’t going to work.” His posture was uneasy, he still didn’t- couldn’t look at you.

Shut up.

“Whatever we had isn’t worth this shit.”

God, Christopher, shut the fuck up.

Your lips trembled. ‘Whatever we had’? Shit. You felt sore, and you still smelled the coffee that girl had thrown at you. No. It wasn’t possible.

“I don’t believe you.”

Chan’s chest ached.

“Well, this is what’s happening. Believe it or not.” He turned restless again, still not daring to look at you, picking up the few things he had left in your apartment the past months. His hands trembled, his facade struggling to remain believable.

“Chan, wait.”

He quivered.

“Let’s talk about this. What’s wrong?”

“Everything is!”

“There’s no reason for us to end.”

He scoffed, his throat almost hurting.

“You’re clearly blind.”

“Did I do something wrong? We were fine yesterday. We’re ok, we-”

His hand gripped the doorknob as if it was going to wake him up from this nightmare. But this was real life, and he had to do it. For you.

Because that made sense.

What a fucking idiot.

“We’re far from ok.”

“Chan, please-“

“Nothing you can say will make me stay.” He said almost in a whisper, afraid that his voice would crack if he spoke too loudly.

Despite the advice you had received from the doctors, you lightly skipped your way to him, placing a hand on his forearm, your lips close to his ears. His breath hitched, and even if it was because that small contact was breaking him to pieces, you weren’t going to know anytime soon.

He had to leave now. Before the regret turned stronger.

“Chan.” You swallowed hard, your heart shattering to pieces. “If I can’t make you stay… just know I won’t leave. You know where I’ll be.” You stared at your hand as you slowly let go of him. You wanted to hug him, beg him to stay so bad. You wished to wake up from this nightmare soon.

Instead, you did what you thought was right.

“You have the choice, angel. Just… don’t be too late.”

God, he regretted every single part of it.

[☆ ☆ ✧ ☆ ☆]

“Chan, what the fuck.”

Felix felt that sort of anger you could only achieve when being an empath. The ability to feel and comprehend his mate’s feelings allowed him to feel twice the anger when he wouldn’t just choose what was right from what was slightly easier.

“Hey, we said no judgement.” He sniffed, half of his face buried below the neck of your sweater.

It smelled like you.

Felix wanted to hit him. In the face. With a brick. Instead, he contented himself with one of Chris’ pillows.

“You.” hit “are.” hit “so.” hit “stupid!”

“Well, that shit ain’t new.” He mumbled, snatching the pillow away and laying on it.

“You are unbearable.” Lix hissed, much like a kitten would. “Go back to her once and for all, for fuck’s sake. I’m sure she’s been waiting for you all day.”

“I can’t.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“I’m not ready to fight it.”

“I don’t think you have a chance, at this point.”

“It’s whatever, Lix.”

“SHE- Ugh.” The rage the blonde was feeling felt surreal, his hands aggressively pulling his hair. “She came here to give you an ultimatum, Chan! You absolute buffoon, she’ll think you don’t love her!”

“That’s not-!”

“Then why are you not leaving?!”

“Maybe that’s what’s best for her?!”

“Oh, so now it’s about her?!”

“IT’S ALWAYS BEEN!”

“SO LET HER CHOOSE!”

Silence filled up the room.

“Let her choose if she wants you or not.”

“And let her end up injured again?”

Felix took a deep breath, trying to calm down —and failing—.

“We both know that those kinds of accidents are not that likely to happen.”

“But it did-“

“Shut up.” Felix’s stare could kill any living being within a 3-meter radius. “The 3-year dating ban is over. You can talk to the fans and to JYP about this shit.”

“Still-“

“Nuh-uh. You can make it work, this ain’t some Romeo and Juliet impossible love bullshit or whatever the fuck you’re thinking.” Felix got closer to Chan, his stance still confrontational.

“Never, ever use the ‘I’m doing it for her’ excuse again. Life isn’t some fucked up song where you let go people because you love them, Chris.”

Before he stormed out of the elder’s room, he threw clean clothes at him.

“Get your shit together, go get her, and I’ll think about making more brownies for you, you absolute fucking dummy.”

[☆ ☆ ✧ ☆ ☆]

The door in front of him looked exactly the same as how he had left it. The bell sounded the same.

But you, you looked different.

Maybe it was because he felt so touch-starved that you kept glowing around him. You looked ethereal, so much that he was scared to touch you, scared that he’d wake up in his bed again.

“Does this mean you’re keeping it?”

He stared down. He was still wearing your sweater.

You smiled slightly. “It looks better on you anyways.”

He entered your apartment, and you stood behind him.

“Is there anything you’d like to say before?”

He turned around at you, your heart racing.

“Before what?”

“Before I choose to do something else instead of talking things first,” you mentioned, your gaze moving from his eyes and his lips.

He gulped, seeing you getting closer and closer.

“I…”

You took his arms and settled them on your waist, locking yours behind his neck.

“If we’re going to argue, we’re going to do it like this,” you said in a whisper. The light smell of his cologne surrounded you faster than you expected, and you loved it.

His eyes grew big in surprise. Quickly, his hands tightened his grip on your waist, moving them to your face in a sudden action.

“You’re… here.”

The weak tone he used made your insides churn.

“Chan…”

“Mmhm?”

Your hands travelled to his chest, slightly creating distance.

“Please stop before I kiss you,” you whispered. “If I do, I don’t think I could-“

He gave you a small peck, interrupting you. He giggled softly as your expression turned into a surprised one.

He hid his face in the crook of your neck, his breath tickling you.

“You look so pretty right now.”

You gasped, hearing his laugh.

“Don’t change the subject, mister!”

You both stood there, hugging each other, feeling like the nightmare was finally over. But Chan still had something to do.

“You don’t deserve what I put you through.”

Your hands caressed his back.

“That’s the excuse?”

“In my defence…”

“I’m listening.”

Chan dived even deeper in the crook of your neck, feeling content just by being in your arms.

“I forgot the excuse. I’m just sorry. I can’t even say it without feeling like a dick. I know it doesn’t make up for what I said or did. I couldn’t even look at you that day because I just wanted to stay with you, but I felt so bad. I love you so much I can’t stand it. I thought that maybe if I left… maybe I could save you.” His embrace tightened.

God, he missed you so much.

“I wasn't sure how much longer I could have taken this..." he said in a huff.

“I know I couldn’t, and your stupid ass wouldn’t do anything about it.”

He took your face in between his hands, his eyes red.

“I told you there was no reason for us to end, dipshit.” You whispered, laughing as you kept on crying, your hands travelling up to his. “We’ll make it work.”

He stroked your hair with one hand, sighing.

“I’m so happy you’re here.”

You couldn’t help but let out a smile, giving him another peck.

“…of course I���m here, idiot. I never left.”

~Kats, who you’ll most likely never see reading angst bc she’s a weak loser, yet here she is, stopping mid-writing cause she couldn’t see past her tears 🕳️👩‍🦯

ps: i wanted to mention @writer-in-the-dark-prompts bc i used some prompts from them and i think it’s a really cool blog!

[hard-for-harding]

another bunch of clowns trying to bring DA: TV down lmao. 1. dragon age was always "woke" b1tch3s, time to wake up. if you havent noticed this while playing DA:O, you're more stupid than you probably look. 2. crying that the graphics look outdated / ugly / cartoonish etc - on one hand game was in development for a very long time, on the other hand at least it will be optimized for a lot of PCs, and y'all console ppl won't have to worry you're struggling to maintain 60fps... this isnt a COD game or else that it needs photorealistic raindrops and graphics that will be a struggle to run even on high-end PCs and sweating consoles. then you'd be crying that it needs 400gb free space on your SSD and its lagging and barely have 20fps. the game looks pretty as it is, and im sure it will be also well optimized. 3. DA: O combat was better - great, go play that game! GLHF! 4. the game has pronouns - why do everyone pisses their pants when an RPG game lets you choose your pronouns? this is literally 1-click in the game, and no one is forcing you to use something you don't want to? 5. LGBTQ+ in the game - as disclosed before, there were always LGBTQ+ in the game. no one forces you to have mlm or wlw playthroughs in the game! and just bc you dont want this, let other ppl enjoy the game as they want.

6. "Where are the white men?" - up your @$$. srsly, there will be plenty of white men in the game... y'all need a video game that has only male player characters, male npcs, so even if you go to get a quest from the queen the queen will be a white man, and you can earn to marry her daughter whos also a white man.

7. Morrigan - honestly she looks better than ever imho, no one cares that incels dont find her hot enough. go play any korean made game like the first descendant and you'll see plenty of @$$ and T1ts. Closing: you need to accept that there are billions of games out there, and hundreds of millions of ppl are playing them - not all games are going to be up your alley for whatever reason, and you need to accept that. i dont give a damn about WoT, WoW, COD, etc other games you play and im not talking shit about it either on the forums. if youre doing that, you need to crawl out of mama's basement, take a needed shower to wash off your sweaty opinions, and get a life, touch some grass.

[expresso-bean]

The Man Out of Time [A ShadAmy and Silver Story]: Chapter 14

Pairing: Shadow the Hedgehog x Amy Rose

Description: It has been seven years of peace following the grueling war with Eggman and his army. Though it took time to rebuild what they have lost, life for the Freedom Fighters could not be better. Whether it's finding love or trying to run from their past, celebrating post-war times has been different for each of them.

All is well until a silver hedgehog comes knocking on Amy Rose's door to deliver the tragic news about an incredible force that seems to be the cause of the future's destruction.

Will anyone believe the mysterious hedgehog's cry for help? Or will he be left to fight for his future alone? Read to find out!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1k

POV: Amy Rose

!! I do not own any of the art/gifs/borders used in my chapters. All credits to the rightful owners !!

Masterlist ❀ Ch.1 ❀ Ch.2 ❀ Ch.3 ❀ Ch.4 ❀ Ch.5 ❀ Ch.6 ❀ Ch.7 ❀ Ch.8 ❀ Ch.9 ❀ Ch.10 ❀ Ch.11 ❀ Ch.12 ❀ Ch.13

I didn't know what to expect when I woke up. Maybe I expected Shadow to still be here like he promised. But he wasn't here. And that stirred an unknown feeling inside of me.

No, I knew exactly what I was feeling.

Stupid. I felt completely stupid.

Why was I still waiting for him? Why was I holding on to the hope that he would burst through the door at any moment and ask if I was okay?

I stayed on the bed and pulled my plush pink covers closer to me. Their warmth provided little comfort, but I was willing to take whatever I could get.

'Why… do I feel this way?' My fingers curled up and dug into the soft cloth. I took a moment to breathe. My lungs stung, and a warm lump was building in my throat. I hated crying, especially over someone like him. 'I'm always felt feeling like this whenever I get mixed up in his signals. I could never tell what he was trying to tell me. Does he like me? If so, as a friend or something more? If he wants to be something more, why doesn't he say so? I've been clear in my intentions. I invite him over to my house often to the point where I've offered to make a spare key for him to have. Every Wednesday we go out to dinner, and every Sunday we have coffee and brunch. I don't go out with ANYONE else besides him, and I've told him so many, many times. Am I not expressing myself enough? Does he still think I only see him as a friend?' I wiped a tear that was poking out from the corner of my eye. My teeth were clenched so hard that it was beginning to hurt. '…why am I too cowardly to admit my feelings to him?'

I knew I was acting pitiful. I was the one standing between my own happiness. I was too scared to tell Shadow about my feelings, and reasonable so. I wouldn't know how to react if he were to reject me. Things wouldn't be the same.

And then there was one more thing to consider. Before my love for Shadow, comes my appreciation of his friendship.

'He's done a lot for me. He's trained with me when I felt weak. He's talked to me when I need someone to speak to. He has once stood outside my doorstep for hours to make sure I was okay while I was having a depressive episode. If I lost him, his friendship; I would lose it.'

My own words stung. The anxiety tightened in my chest and I found myself breathing slowly to calm myself down. If I had a morning anxiety attack, it would ruin my entire day. And with everything going on, I can't afford any bad days.

'Too many people are depending on me. I can't afford to fail. There is so much at stake. I need to keep my emotions in check if I want everyone to rely on me.'

I sat there in the sheets and practiced some mindful breathing. I kept my eyes closed, and just breathed until my body felt calm. Who knows how long I sat there. The minutes seemed longer to me with each shaky breath. No matter what I did, or how long I breathed in and out, I couldn't brush aside the feelings Shadow leaves with me.

I found it annoying how inconstant his actions could be. One day he would take to me and tell me the sweetest things I've ever heard, and the next he would avoid me like nothing.

At times, I wonder who he even is. How well do I really know him?

'Maybe if he talked to me instead of avoiding me, I would know him better!' I clutched the blanket that was covering me in frustration. 'Why is this so complicated?'

I touched my face. Luckily, there were no tears. It just felt warm from the anger and sadness I was feeling.

'I want to sleep forever, but, I know I need to get up.'

I felt like I had been awake for days when, in reality, it's been 2 hours tops. As I rolled out of bed and walked toward my dresser, I finally got a good look at myself. The color in my face had finally reappeared. Most of all, I was glad that the dark circles under my eyes were disappearing.

I have S to thank for all of this. Without him, we would have never known about the future danger ahead of us, and I would have never been able to put my mind at peace.

I left my room and smiled as I saw S resting on the couch, covered in the blankets I let him borrow. I crept towards the kitchen to not wake him up, but as soon as I popped my head in, I almost had a heart attack. Shadow was sitting at the table with his head down and a mug of tea next to his face. I had to retain the joy of knowing that he was still here.

But why didn't he stay in my room like the last time?

I brushed off the question and tried to keep it out of my mind. I instead thought about the fulfillment of his promise. He said he'd be here when I woke up and he is. If he is still here, then why am I not satisfied with that conclusion?

'Ugh, maybe we are all really complicated in our own ways.'

I giggled to myself as I picked up the kettle from the stove to fill it with water.

'I'm sure a nice cup of tea will put my mind at ease,' I sighed looking through my pantry. I smiled when I saw the last few packets of peach tea I saw holding off for a moment like this. 'Nothing like a nice glass of warm peach tea to get me back to my normal self.'

"Oh, S isn't here either, huh? Or Sonic..." My voiced trialed off at the realization that was standing in an empty house. "I just hope neither of them got into too much trouble while I was out."

[jacenotjason]

The Opposite AU Phone Calls!

[The phone rings 4 times before its answered] [soft music can be heard]

Good evening. This is Barn’s Books, can I help you? [silence]

Hello? [the sound of a page turning]

[silence, theres rustling as Barnaby turns off the music.]

Is anyone there?.. Is this a prank call? [He whispers] I’m sorry, dear, I don’t know what you want me to say. I-if you’re speaking I can’t hear you. [silence]

Ah, well.. Come down to the library if you need to speak to me! I’d love to see what this call was for.. Goodbye! [he hangs up]

[The phone rings 2 times before its answered]

Hello? This is Julie Joyful speaking.

[silence]

Hello? ..Are you there?

[silence]

What is this, some kind of game? Listen, I’m not interested in playing with you, Frank, I’m really busy! I was in the middle of writing my next show and you interrupted my creative mind!

[silence]

Whatever.. [she hangs up]

[the phone only rings once before its answered]

Hellllooooooo~! You’ll have to speak up, I have bleach in my hair!

[silence]

[louder] Hello!! [silence]

Is this some sort of game? Should I say something? Is it a- oh! Is it a joke!? Oh! Oh! Whose there? No, wait! You say knock knock, then I say whose there!..

[silence]

[he giggles] I don’t think you know how this goes. Welllll, go ahead and call back when you figure it out!! Bye byee!! [they hang up]

[the phone is answered in the middle of the 5th ring]

[Eddie groans and speaks like he just woke up] Hello..?

[silence]

Hello?

[silence]

For fuck- hey, dickass, I don’t have time for this. I was in the middle of sleeping off a hangover and I thought this was an emergency, because thats the only fucking reason people here call me, so I woke up! Now, I gotta go do this stupid- mail delivering bullshit hungover. If someone gets stabbed or punched or kicked or cursed out, its your fault, asswipe. [he abruptly hangs up] 

[The phone is answered in the middle of the first ring]

[a fake, cheery tone] You’re callin’ Howdy’s Place! The only store in Home, [said with a laugh], Howdy speakin’.

[silence]

..? I said, this is Howdy’s Place! The only store in Home, home of everything you want and things you didn’t know you needed! For prices seen no where else!

[silence, with a repeating sound as Howdy tapped on the counter]

[he drops the cheery tone] This ain’t funny. My time is money, and if I’m not getting paid I don’t have time. So if you’re not callin’ to order something, I’m gonna ask ya to not use this line. 

[Howdy’s tone changes as he thinks, no longer speaking to you] Hm.. Maybe I can charge for prank calls.. [a chuckle] hm, kill two birds with one stone. Paid, and no more stupid calls..

[he clears his throat and talks on the phone again] Well! This has been delightful. So long! [he hangs up]

[the phone rings 5 times and seems like its not going to be answered. It’s answered just before it’s ignored]

[silence]

[some shuffling]

…Julie?

[silence]

…Howdy? Eh- Eddie?

[silence, a long, shaky inhale can be heard]

[her voice cracks, like shes going to cry] bye.

[she hangs up.]

[the phone hardly has a chance to ring before it is answered]

[loud music can be heard]

Yo!

[silence, the sound of Poppy moving things can be heard]

What’s up, kiddo? [she says a little louder] Sally? That you? [the music is turned down]

Hello? Anyone there? I don’t wanna hang up on ya, but if you’re not gonna answer, I got things to do..

[silence]

Alright, well.. If its an emergency, feel free to call right back! Or, come see me! My doors always open! Love ya!

[she hangs up]

[wizardfrog69]

Hello~I hope you're doing fine! I would like to request daza as a brother figure i with a teenage gn!reader(or fem!reader both is fine) where he saw a little blood on their sleeve when reader is asleep and then finds out they have sh scars

Please feel free to ignore if you're not comfortable with this topic.

I'm still sick but I feel better than yesterday.

I do feel comfortable writing for this topic, and I think mental health awareness is a great and important thing, especially with younger people.

It's okay to not be okay, and it's okay to want and/or need help. We all need help sometimes. The challenging part is always asking for help.

Thank you for the request!

'•.¸♡it's just a small cut♡¸.•'

Bother figure Dazai x teenage reader (platonic)

Angst/comfort

Tw! Self harm, depression like symptoms

If this subject is triggering in any way, please do not read. Your mental well-being is more important.

Masterlist

Enjoy!

You walked out of the bathroom, your arm stung a bit, but you tried to pay it no mind. There was not a lot of blood. You whipped away what you could, so no blood should have gone through your clothes, but you were mistaken.

There was no reason to bother Dazai over something so small and irrelevant, so you never bothered him with anything. You were only overreacting, being dramatic, right? Maybe you felt horrible, like something was eating away at you from the inside, and no matter how many times you tried to claw it out, it would never leave, but it was not that serious. There is no reason for you to cry over this stupid shit. There is no reason to keep... there is no, there is nothing anymore.

Thinking exhausted you, everything did. Who knew existing could be so tiring. You lay down in bed, wishing for all your thoughts to finally go away, but they wouldn't. They kept on haunting you until you fell asleep.

It was late, later than usual, but Dazai finally came back. It was dark and quiet, so he assumed you had fallen asleep. He walked into your bedroom to see if you were asleep after knocking on your door. When he saw you asleep, he was glad to see you safe and sound, that thought did not last long as he saw a red spot on your sleeve. Seeing this sight nerved him, he did the only thing he thought of doing at the moment, making sure you are alright.

Dazai walked up to your sleeping form, pulled your sleeve away, and examined the scar on your forearm. He left the room as soon as he entered, thinking about you, if you were okay or not.

You woke up to the smell of Franch toast flooding every corner of your room. With a wave of tiredness, you stood and left for the kitchen. 'Good morning!' Dazai chirped. 'Morning.' You yawned back. 'So, what did you do?' 'Hm?' 'You never make breakfast, and you always whine about even being near the stove.' 'Oh come on, I've made food before!' 'Ya, once, when we first met. And you're burning the bread.' 'Oh!' Dazai quickly looked back to the pan and managed to scrape the burning piece of bread from the pan and lay another piece in its place.

A plate filled with burnt and semi burnt French toast was placed onto the table. Dazai handed some things to add to the toast to make it more edible. You resorted to honey. He sat in front of you, a look of worry coming over him. 'What's wrong?' You asked, confused. 'I know you are hurting yourself. Could you please tell me what is wrong?' His usual enthusiastic and joking tone turned into a serious one. That was why he made the toast. 'I don't want to talk about it, not yet anyway.' 'Okay, you don't have to, but if you need to talk about anything, I'm here. I'm here to help you with whatever you need.' 'Yeah...' You sighed to yourself, you were not ready to talk to him but you wanted to try.

༺♡༻ 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 ⋆ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 ༺♡༻

I hope you are okay and that everything will turn out fine.

Sorry, I've been somewhat busy and distracted, so it [the thing I've wrote] might sound odd or different.

Have a wonderful day/night and remember that there are people out there who care about you, maybe they have not said so, or it doesn't feel that way but I can promise you there is atleast one person (or animal) out there who cares about you. :)

-love, Az

[sh1mmer-add1ct]

Happy Valentine’s Day baby!! i love you so much and i’m so happy that i get to be your valentine this year <3 four years is a really long time Jesus Christ…it feels like yesterday when we were pulling all nighters just to talk about whatever the hell were on our very weird minds LMAO (and the way I’d always fall asleep first during our conversations…embarrassing!! :p)

HAHA actually on the topic i still remember the days way back when we could only talk during the weekends n friday afternoons…i would literally sit there and WAIT for you to come online so we made the most of every minute we had together LOL i was stressing!! but seriously tho, it feels so weird to actually look back on that knowing we are where we are today. i wouldn’t have believed in a million years that writing some stupid angels of death fanfic at twelve years old would get me to have my best friend in the whole world n my now boyfriend!! like goddamn!! that’s crazy!!

vie genuinely you helped me through so much shit and I just want to make sure you know that without you, i wouldn’t be half of who i am today. you listen to me ramble about all the negative shit going on in my life without even complaining, you read all the dumb shit i post n SUPPORT it, n you let me tweak out abt stuff you don’t know a damn thing abt 😭 and i think that alone shows how good of a person you really are, even if sometimes you don’t think it. we’ve had our ups and downs, mostly ups, but i’m just so appreciative and grateful that we’ve been able to keep this relationship for as long as we have. and this Valentine’s Day is just kinda…mind blowing to me, idk. like…VIE YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND NAJWNEHWJWNE

i love you so much. always remember that.

anyways here’s one of our first interactions IM CRYING 💀 GODDAMNNNNNN WE WERE ON SUMN (loved u back then, still love u now 😽)

OH MY GOD⁉️⁉️ LAKDKALKDJDKSKD I REMEMBER THAT SHIT SO VIVIDLYY BC ID BE SO EXCITED TO GO TO MY DADS AND TALK TO YOU 😭😭 AZSLSJDKDME I remember one time specifically my stepmom at the time caught me staying up and I pretended to go to sleep but then got back on that FUCK ass chromebook and freaked out about it

I love you sosooo much <3 honestly wish I’d said smth before BUT YKNOW SIGHH 💔 Genuinely the main reason I’m not dead and not fucking miserable all the time bc I be so giggly and excited to go home and shit. Like my friends look at me like I’m crazy when I be giggling talking to you bc they’re. Woke. 🙄🙄

homophobic I can’t hug n kiss u n shit due to. Homophobia (living eight hours apart) AUGHHHH

PULLING OUT THE RECEIPTS IS INSANE GUYS DONT LOOK