#I wish that I didn't regret wearing my heart on my sleeve

[gale-gaze]

y'all ever have such a bad year-long commission experience that you feel disgusted looking at or thinking about your own character, so you almost feel obligated to scrap your character completely so both you and your character are finally out of this bitter misery the commission has made you feel towards your own character, just so you can finally enjoy the media that you made that character for in the first place again?

[burningpoisonroaster]

Time after school aka My first excitement

I remember the time when I was a child and went to daycare after primary school where we kids could do homework, have lunch and play while our parents still had to work.

We had two female tutors.

One of them was a warm-hearted, middle-aged chubby lady. She was like a second mother to me. We always hugged for greeting and farewell.

The other one was much younger. She often felt rather bitchy to me. I never hugged her because I didn't feel like.

However... There were days when she looked like this:

She had a small variety of angora and mohair sweaters. I rather spent a small amount of attention.

But then it happened that I was on the way to become a man. At least in my pants sometimes strange things happened. A strange feeling rushed through my genitals which I didn't like at all at the beginning.

However the day came.

She was wearing a body-hugging angora (or cashmere) twinset consisting of a short sleeved sweater and a cardigan (which the AI isn't even capable of displaying properly).

At some point she took off the cardigan and placed it on the backrest of the chair she was sitting on. Down in my pants something began to grow. And suddenly I felt good. Positive thoughts began to cycle around in my head. "I want to grab her cardigan and cuddle with it. I want to caress her. Damn, guess that's it. That must be it when you feel sexual tension. It feels good"

P.S.: Boy I wish she was as smoking hot as the AI's outcomes are, but she was not. However I guess she really lit that spark in me. Guess at some point I regret I never hugged her.

@fluffyfaza

[xxsycamore]

SEXY AFFAIRS

╰┈➤ 💜 Amahiko is late and condemns you to bathing alone, something unheard of in this sharehouse. It's his duty as World Sexy Ambassador to make it up to you and to properly apologise.

Tendo Amahiko x Gender Neutral Reader • rating: E (MDNI) • tags: no pronouns or stated genitalia for reader; reader bottoms; Sharing Clothes; Scent Kink; Established Relationship; Neck Kissing; Groping; Making Out; Size Kink; Penis Size; Muscles; Hair Kink; Fluff; Pole Dancing; Strip Tease; Blow Jobs; Sex Positions; Sex Positive; Sloppy Makeouts; Lube; Fingerfucking; Hand & Finger Kink; Creampie; Come Eating; Humor; Aftercare • wordcount: 4,645 • masterlist

a/n: This started out as something unserious but here we are 4,6k words later... Happy Sexy Birthday Amahiko

It's late in the afternoon when Amahiko finally returns home.

He'd promised you to return earlier today, and here he got caught in his business outside yet again... Despite the evident haste in his demeanor as he enters the living room, he stops to properly greet his housemates Terra and Iori.

As Iori immediately appears behind Amahiko to take his jacket for him, Amahiko worriedly asks if anyone knows where you are.

"In the bathroom. But it should be any second now that-"

Like clockwork, just as Amahiko looks in the direction of the door, it opens to reveal you stepping into the living room.

"Amahiko, you're back! I knew my Amahiko-radar could be trusted! Welcome home!"

"…You just heard his voice, didn't you."

Terra's comment remains unnoticed as you and Amahiko rush at each other for a welcome hug, ignoring the rest of the world around you.

"Thank you. I'm truly sorry for making you wait and returning home late. I hope you can forgive me."

Your heart is softened by the pure regret in his baby blue eyes, the worry painted across his features as well as the gentle hold of his large hands as he takes yours in them to emphasize his humble apology. You gawk and smile widely at him, reassuring him readily.

"Of course I forgive you! But truth to be told… I just had the loneliest bath in the world without you. I had forgotten how cold and lonely a bathtub could be without you in it. It wasn't sexy at all…"

Amahiko gasps, and his thick eyebrows arch in a frown.

"I'm such a fool."

Averting his gaze in shame, it's only then that he notices what you're wearing.

"Is this my…?"

You nod somewhat shyly, tugging the clothing tighter around you and nuzzling into it.

"Your bathrobe, yes… actually… I used your shampoo too, and your bodywash…! Alas… the scent of Amahiko was with me, but Amahiko himself still was not."

Touched as he is right now, aside from producing a small, sincere moan, Amahiko's own words betray him as he can only sink to his knees in a deep bow.

"I'm awfully sorry to have done that to you. In the future, I promise that this Tendo Amahiko will do his best so that you can never bathe alone again!"

Holding your hands over your mouth in shock at his heartfelt apology, you hurriedly tell him to get up. Meanwhile Terra whom both of you have forgotten that is still there, joins in the conversation not paying much mind to the intense exchange happening in front of him.

"So does that mean that you two are exclusive right now?"

Amahiko, now back on his feet, turns to face Terra with a relaxed smile. "No, that isn't correct. The right term would be that we are in a polyamorous relationship with all the perverts in the world."

"I wish I didn’t ask."

You tug at Amahiko's sleeve to catch his attention once more. "Never mind me waiting for you Amahiko, I think you have a bigger problem to worry about! With you being out for so long, the sexy levels seem to have dropped drastically around here! Here I thought I could save the situation wearing your sexy bathrobe but I'm afraid that's a job for the 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕 𝕊𝕖𝕩𝕪 𝔸𝕞𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕣 to take care of."

Amahiko listens carefully to your concerns, and only as you say these three words do the smile appear back on his face. With newfound confidence, he holds his head high and gives a firm nod.

A familiar melody plays out of nowhere, making everyone turn their head around in search of a pole coming up from the ground. With the impressive number of poles installed in the sharehouse, one could never be quite prepared for the location of the next pole dance show. But given the way the music sounds muffled, as if coming from another room, it would most likely not be here.

"I have not forgotten my duty. Tonight too, thank you for appointing me. However, I'm afraid I cannot take on this mission alone if I want to achieve great results."

Amahiko looks straight at you, stretching out his hand, waiting for you to put your own on top of it.

"Without further ado, let's go. We have sexy affairs to take care of."

Fascinated out of your mind, you snap out of the trance, determinedly accepting his offer. Hand in hand, you and Amahiko bid the others goodbye as you take off in the direction of Amahiko's room, which seems to be the source of the music.

The living room gets comparatively quiet once again.

Terra lets out a sigh, turning the page of his magazine and returning to his usual radiant smile as he's beyond letting any obstacles in the way of his leisure time.

"Iori, come here and cover my ears with your hands for the next two hours."

"Haaai~!"

Once inside Amahiko's room, you're greeted by alluring lights flashing from above, a lone pole waiting in the middle of the room. Albeit Amahiko enters right behind you, he remains with his hand on the handle.

"Should we keep the door open? That way the air of our combined sexiness could reach the others better."

"Amahiko…" You feel your cheeks heating up, putting your own hand ontop of his and slowly pushing the door until it closes with a soft click. Seeing your display of shyness, Amahiko can't help himself. He pins you to the now-closed door, getting a soft gasp out of you. He's so close suddenly, his warm breath fanning over your freshly bathed skin where the waterdrops had just cooled it off. But just before his lips could touch you anywhere, on your nape, or your chin, or on your own parted mouth anticipating his kiss, he halts his ministrations and withdraws.

"I have something to tell you before we begin. Earlier, you said that you couldn't do anything about the lowered sexy levels even while wearing my bathrobe. That's simply not right. For you are…the sexiest sight I've seen."

You're not sure if it's because of you forgetting how to breathe for a moment or the music truly just slowed down, adopting a sultrier tone to it, as if to match the scene of his confession.

"Oh…Amahiko…"

Burying his nose into the crook of your neck, Amahiko breathes in a lungful of your scent, that actually belongs to him to begin with.

"To think you'd bathe yourself in my scent… you're bold and mischievous. Don't you know by the time we finish here, you'd smell like me no matter what?"

"Ahh-" You let out a moan too early, solely at the way he's already making love to you with his words alone, but your next moan is caused by something way more tangible. The hotness of his breath has nothing on the hotness of his tongue, as he licks a wet strip across your neck.

Grabbing onto his shoulder for purchase, you feel your legs getting weaker with the sudden tantalizing attack. Wanting to get back at him, you will yourself into regaining your balance so your hands can roam free again. You know Amahiko loves to be felt up. You give him plenty of it, sliding your open palms down the small of his back and arriving at his well-formed ass, giving it a firm squeeze with both hands and then traveling further down on his sides to feel for his toned, muscular thighs, the result of hours upon hours of tireless training. Then moving to the top again, because you desperately need to be held closer in his embrace, you focus on his back. It's so broad; amidst the hug you measure it with your hands and let a pleased sound escape you.

Amahiko moans as one of your hands finds the front of his pants, feeling for a sign that he's enjoying this as much as you are. He attacks your neck again with a fervent suck against the skin.

The bridge of his nose brushes against your still-wet hair and a single waterdrop runs down his cheek, making him pause and chuckle.

"I got ahead of myself, but being seduced like that, I hope you can understand me. Now, can you please take a sit on the bed?"

"What are you planning, Amahiko?"

"Sexy blow-dry!"

Leaving yourself in Amahiko's capable hands, you let yourself be utterly spoiled as he blows your hair dry for you. You're pleased to know the act was as stimulating for him as it was to you, with the feeling of his fingers running through your scalp keeping the fire inside you alive. For any other couple, this could be a distraction from the main event of the night, but for you and Amahiko, it's simply foreplay - after all, he's knowledgeable of the sensitivity of the scalp, even considered an erogenous zone. He pays special attention to the area behind your ears and around your neck, not forgetting to gently tug at your hair as well.

The way he took a moment to reassure you earlier, the way he takes proper care of you instead of devouring you at the door, it all makes you fall head over heels for him all over again. What kind of pamper play is that?!

Putting the dryer away and taking a sit behind you on the bed once again just in time to hear your dreamy sigh, Amahiko hums softly with curiosity. The way his broad frame envelops your from behind messes up with your head, and you give him no answer. You simply drop down to the fluffy duvet, turning over on your back so you can admire his towering-over-you form.

Not paying attention to the way his bathrobe has opened up to reveal more of your skin to his eyes, you let out a small giggle at the audacity of your upcoming request before it's even left your lips. Decisively, you wait for Amahiko to return his gaze to your own before you speak.

"I was being sincere earlier when I said I forgive you for returning home late. Please don't worry so much about these things. However… If you still want to make it up to me…"

Amahiko places one hand at the side of your head, then the other, practically caging you underneath him as he leans over you. His face is serious.

"I understand. You don't have to say another word."

And just like that, he withdraws again, making you thankful because you can now catch your breath, at least. Remaining on the bed, you see him get up and approach the pole at the center of his room.

The disco lights flash over his face, revealing a knowing little smile as Amahiko holds down your gaze. The glassy surface of his eight-wing wardrobe reflects his lit frame, doubling the head-spinning effect of the atmosphere cast by the multicolored lights. You find yourself the sole audience of an exquisite show, as Amahiko begins with simply walking around the metal pole gracefully. In just one turn, all of the buttons on his shirt fall open - you know by now that most of his clothes outside of the playtime costumes are chosen to be taken off easily for his own comfort. You've never seen someone take his shirt off so sensibly, baring one shoulder then the other, then swiftly sliding off the sleeves. The discarded item falls on the floor, and you remove your attention from it in order to take in the sight of Amahiko's now nude torso in its full glory. The light dances on its muscular forms, from his toned abs to the dips of his prominent hipbones where they disappear under his belt. Despite the elegant start, you know what's next by the way he moves his gaze from you to the pole: in just a second he takes a firm grip on it, performing a leap off the ground not unlike a predator chasing after its prey.

Gripping the pole with both hands, he pushes his pelvis up over his head, legs opening to a splits as he rotates at a slow pace. Next, he closes his legs around the pole, holding it between his hefty thighs, strong enough to uphold his weight. He times it perfectly so that he's facing you when he brings his torso up, seemingly folding in half, as you see him…catch the zipper of his red trousers between his teeth and pull it down.

He lets his upper body unfold until he's hanging upside down once again, hooking one leg and folding it so he can grab the pole between his legs, using the other hand to tug down the fabric until his pants' foot comes off, reversing and doing the same with the other.

The article of clothing falls to the ground, leaving him only in his underwear, a silky silver thong that makes a living mirrorball out of Amahiko parading himself on the pole. It catches the eye as it is, but even moreso now that the skimpy, thin fabric shows the outlines of his already erect cock. Amahiko seems to be enjoying himself, libido high as always.

He makes it look so effortless; as if he is weightless, the way he manipulates his own large body into submission, fluid motions calculated with such precision you're left staring in awe. What he does is art, and you're dead serious when you claim that each time you watch him performing it's like the first time. No amount of pole dancing done on the spur of the moment when provoked by the rest of the residents can dull your reaction to it.

Amahiko grants you a good view of his buttocks, flexing the muscles of his back and rear just for you, sneaking a look at you watching him.

He snakes the fingers of his left hand down his hip, penetrating underneath the thin strap and dragging it down with his motion. The tip of his cock pokes out, a bead of precome adorning it and making your mouth water. It's as if the sheer intensity of your gaze undresses Amahiko as the thong comes loose, sliding down to hang from one leg as Amahiko raises it to let the tiny underwear dangle from his foot until he unceremoniously throws it in your direction.

It's the end of Amahiko's show now that he's stripped down to his most nakedness, but he knows how to wrap things up with style.

A final fireman's spin puts accent on his proudly standing-up cock in its whole eye-candy glory, swinging around along with the rest of him just to make your mouth water.

And with that, he lands on the ground at very last.

You give him a round of applause, making sure to let him know how much he fascinated you. "Amahiko…that was incredibly sexy to watch…"

The man approaching you smirks in satisfaction with himself, sinking one knee in the round bed as he extends his hand in offer.

"I bet you wanted to touch me with more than your eyes?"

"I…yes. Please."

The unnecessarity of your last word becomes clear as Amahiko guides your hand to slide down his stomach until you feel the soft fuzz of his plum-colored pubic hair.

"Let me have a taste?"

Amahiko reacts vocally to your playful suggestion, cock pulsating visibly at the mere implication of a hot mouth wrapped around it. You trail your very fingertips down the prominent vein running down his pelvis, following it but avoiding any direct touch on Amahiko's arousal for the time being. As much as you want to wrap your hand around the thick girth, you feel like going straight for tonguing it this time.

"Amahiko will burst with ecstasy if you play with him too much."

"Maybe I want him to burst… in my mouth, and all over my face…"

"Ahhh!"

You give him no time to recover from the image you planted in his mind before lapping at the cock hanging in the air right in front of your face. You give his length a long lick from base to tip, savoring his salty, intoxicating taste that you find yourself addicted to, catching the bulbous head in your mouth and giving it a light suck, before withdrawing and letting his cock bounce.

"I can't help it Amahiko, I want to see you come again and again, and to join you in it until we're completely spent… Maybe it would be fair if you were to decide where you want to climax the first time, and then I get to play with you however I want?"

Amahiko sucks on a breath, sliding a hand down to tug on the base of his cock, cupping his heavy sack and staring at you with dark lust in his eyes. "I agree, however, I still have more apologizing to do. Allow me to pleasure you thoroughly first and give you all I've got. That's my decision."

He guides his cock so that the tip rubs on your velvety lips, precum smearing on them.

"So sexy."

You produce a low grunting noise deep in your throat in approval, not daring to open your lips while he's servicing himself with them. It's just a mere tease though, as in the next second he withdraws and shifts his body until he's fully seated on the bed.

"Let's remove this. Show me your sexy body."

He guides the bathrobe off your shoulders, the silky fabric pooling behind you as Amahiko lets out a low gasp, as if seeing you naked for the first time. He can't keep his hands to himself any longer, and you indulge him willingly, shortening the distance between you until you're welcomed in his lap.

"Today we'll try a position that lets me take care of multiple erogenous zones of yours at the same time. I think you'll find it quite pleasurable. But first, kiss me."

Your pulse quickens with anticipation, ready to be reduced to putty in his hands as wrings pleasure out of you. Amahiko possesses exquisite knowledge about the human body and the many ways it can be played with, you're at the mercy of a professional lover. You'd obediently let him turn, twist and pose you in any way he sees fit, motivated by the promise of drowning in ecstasy. Together, that's it.

You hurry to kiss him as he wished, nowhere as careful as he'd kiss you, but you know he'll love it all the same. His lips are pried to grant you an entrance and you boldly and vigorously invade his mouth, claiming every millimeter of it. He moans in the kiss, following your wild manners tit for tat, not minding the saliva escaping the corner of his mouth. You leave him thoroughly kissed and on edge, impatient to finally receive a stimulation that counts.

"Begin by laying on your stomach for me please."

Eager to comply, the haze occupying your mind already does half the work of getting you lying down again, and the bedding feels good as it rubs along your skin as you turn around. Your behind is now on display for Amahiko who is quick to guide you in the desired position.

"You may lay relaxed for now, at least until I prepare you for penetration." He helps you relax by emphasizing his words with a gentle caress down your back - even if it sends shivers all the way to your toes instead. It takes a lot not to wiggle your hips and spark at least some satisfaction where you need it the most, but you decide to be patient and good for him.

Even when facing away, you recognize the telltale sounds of a nightstand drawer sliding open and then closed with a soft thud a second later. It could be the hundred time Amahiko has taken care of you this way and you'd still find your arousal growing tenfold when this moment approaches. And your muscles all tense up as you feel his fingers coat and probe at your hole with the slippery lube.

"Are my fingers too cold?"

You groan a little at the novel for the night stimulation, reaching over your head for a pillow to drag under your head. Not for hiding your moans, no - letting your voice out was the first and most important lesson you learned in the bedroom of the World Sexy Ambassador - but clutching it in your fist and biting down on it, on the other hand, is welcomed.

"They're…perfect. Thick and long and so experienced."

"Thank you."

Accepting the compliment is not where Amahiko stops; he's eager to prove he deserves it as well, it seems, as he gets the hint about your impatience and puts his fingers in action.

"I know applying extra lubrication might be a burden for you when your body screams for release, but aside from being recommended when you're intimate with someone my size, it would enhance our pleasure. I want nothing but to make you overflow with it."

"Hnng- Please- I'm so ready for you-"

You know your body speaks for you more than your own voice does, as your insides squeeze tightly around Amahiko's slick-coated fingers. The gesture of him focusing on preparing you rather than pleasuring you is driving you insane, but you trust in how rewarding it would all be. The lewd noises of more lube being squeezed out leave you imagining how he applies it on his own cock, as you hear his deep moan. He must be giving his cock a nice stroke now, making sure it's perfectly erect and ready to pleasure you.

"Alright. Let us begin."

You moan in something that is neither pure delight nor frustration, hole spasming around nothing as Amahiko's fingers exit you. You feel his presence towering over your back as places his muscular thighs on either side of your own.

His hand is warm when it lands in the crease of your left knee.

"Fold this leg and hold it like that. Keep the other one stretched out."

His gentle nudge helps you into complying, and you can't help the small noises of anticipation leaving your mouth as you find the place between your legs exposed to the air because of the motion.

"Now put your weight on your elbows… yes, just like that. Sexy."

You prostrate yourself for Amahiko in this convenient position, with your lubed hole all ready for him - you all but feel the focus on the place of penetration, and whine at the lack thereof.

"Shh. Amahiko is coming."

Perplexed at the way he manages to make the simplest things feel like euphoria, you find yourself fighting back a steadily building orgasm at the mere feeling of Amahiko's glans rubbing against your entrance. The friction is fluid, making him slip in with ease, and he exits your body with what you assume is caution not to overstimulate you by thrusting all the way in too soon. It surely wouldn't be him teasing you despite how crazed up with arousal he's already gotten you…

"Nghh- You're so tight and warm inside. You feel so delightful."

Him saying this while he slides back in, this time slower and deeper, has got you gasping around the first few syllables of his name. He thrusts in and out at a slow pace that he gradually picks up until his thrusts are long and even, clouding your head with pleasure.

Being behind you like that, Amahiko has access to one too many sensitive spots of your burning skin, and he is quick to make use of it. He begins by raining kisses on your shoulder, open-mouthed and wet, slowly making his way up the junction of it and your neck, and continuing his ambush until he's met with the delicate skin of your earlobe. He bites on it, slowing the movements of his hips just to savor the reaction as his wet tongue traces the rim of your ear.

"Ahhh-That's-"

"It's sensitive here. You've begun to suck me in deeper inside."

Dividing your focus between the two areas in your body receiving attention induces head-spinning sensation that leaves you breathless. As Amahiko continues tonguing your ear, his hand sneaks to where he earlier noticed you like having it, on the crease of your knee.

"Here too… the skin is thinner. You're going to be screaming in pleasure soon."

Amahiko's deep voice rumbling low as he whispers in your ear is a weapon far more dangerous than those little tricks he plays on your body, but combined with them, you're facing a whirlwind of sensation like never before. And you're spinning, spinning as the low creaking noise of the bed soundtracks each and every thrust of Amahiko; his body draped over yours with a thin layer of sweat between you, his own moans of pleasure entwining with yours, equal in volume and in wanton, speaking of two approaching highs: aching, swollen, pulsing, gushing.

Amahiko now all but slams his hips into yours with his nearly inhuman stamina, the noises of skin-on-skin joining in the salacious melody, and he fucks you so good. You realize the worth of this position as Amahiko grips the inside of your knee to spread you even further, granting himself access to the spots inside you that lit your body on fire.

"I'm-Ngh- I'm going to-come inside you-"

"Do it- Amahiko, do it, please, I'm cumming too…!"

"Let's do it together!"

Turning your head to the side, you clash your lips into Amahiko's, desperately wanting to hold onto the remaining bits of your reason as your world shatters with hot-white pleasure. Amahiko's cock spears through your deepest parts, making you feel completely full as it swells and pulsates to the point of no return. Amidst a broken moan of his name, you tip over the edge, dragging Amahiko along as your body is shaken by ecstasy, just as his is. You feel the hot torrents of his cum fill you to the brim as he keeps cumming and cumming inside you through uneven and deep trusts that lack their previous preciseness in the face of the consuming euphoria.

Amahiko continues fucking the orgasm out of you until you can't take it anymore, and his now shallow thrusts are enough to send your body in tremors with the aftershocks.

Your body gives out and you let the bed embrace your weight as you lay down, Amahiko carefully caging you with his body. He whispers filthy things in your ear, glorifying the heavenly feeling you granted him with, while lazily caressing over your sex with his hand, tracing over the place where you're connected.

You shift your body to your side and he does the same to face you, and you catch him just in time to see how he brings his fingers to his mouth.

"The nectar of our conjoining, it's so sweet…"

"A-Amahiko…"

Blaming it on your still uneven breathing, your heart is yet to calm down and how could it be when Amahiko doesn't give you a break? You feel the liquid warmly tricking down the side of your thigh, and shamelessly you find yourself feeling awfully empty again. So soon.

"Mmmhh…" You attempt to voice out your complaint as Amahiko kisses you again, sharing the taste lingering on his tongue with you. But then something else pops up in your mind.

"Amahiko…"

"Yes, my dear?"

"When we're done here… I think, no, I'm sure… that I'll need to get a bath again."

A second passes, and you hear him sucking on a breather. You can't help the giddy feeling rising in your chest.

"Let this Amahiko join you for a sexy bath."

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[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

She let me hold her hand. I don't think she let everyone do that. She didn't seem comfortable with it. Her fingers were limp in mine, cold at the tips. She wouldn't let our palms meet. A tear fell down her cheek but it didn't darken her voice, and she wouldn't look at me. "My entire life, it felt like if I died... I would somehow be just inconveniencing people with my corpse. When I had those dark moments long ago, I'd imagine ways to leave this world in a way the government would have to clean up so I didn't leave a mess for others. "

She took a relaxed breath. The tears flowed but she didn't seem to notice them. She didn't shake or sob. She just talked as though her leaking body were something apart from her. "It wouldn't change much. You wouldn't even know for days. That's the thing with death. We imagine how awful it would be to lose someone, how we would feel, but... it's not the loss that causes the grief. It's the way the world keeps going as though nothing changed. In your mind, or heart, or should you have one, your soul... things are different. They even may be devastating. Maybe a death inspires regrets or wishes for different chances or decisions. Maybe a death makes you want to do something different with the way your arrange your own life that you still have. But it doesn't change anything. Not really. Not in the outside reality of things." She shrugged, glancing down. "I thought I knew was living was. Now I think I know what it's not. Mostly I know I don't know anything. That I don't matter and neither does anything else. That even feeling this way will change and it won't matter. The price for seeing and accepting just how fucked up everything was cost me my old definitions of what I thought my humanity was. Except... they never treated me like a human. They treated me like something to throw away after I fulfilled whatever purpose they assigned to me and chronically punished me for not meeting it. All of them." She took her hand back, and drew it and the other into sleeves of the baggy hoodie she was wearing. Her knees folded up to her chest, and she hugged them to herself, arms wrapping around and squeezing. Her chin rested on her knees. It was a practiced gesture, like a ritual she must have used to keep herself together after so many people had ripped her apart. "At least when you accept that it'll probably never get better... there's a peace in it. You lose the looming threat of constant disappointment. You don't have to try and find something to hope for or a silver lining or some way to be optimistic. You just exist and complete what you're responsible for and try to remember to breathe because you're connected to a body who still thinks there's something worth living for. And you don't tell it the truth because at least some part of you is still trying to be something different than you've ever known."

[welldonebeca]

The King's Wives (XII)

WC: 1.7k words Warnings: Sexual Tension. Hurt/Comfort. Fluff.

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Masterlist

The banquet didn't last much longer, and Sansa was quick to convince Jon - who was already tired out of all the fancy affairs of the day - to end it early, saying she was tired and wanted to get up early in the morning.

He didn't even bat an eye when her mother followed her and his wives to their wing, and Sansa stood at the end of the line with the women when they arrived, surprised by how they all stood in the order of their marriages to him as Jon kissed each of their cheeks and wished them a good night.

She waited for them all to leave to their rooms, sitting and pretending to talk with her mother in a common area, too embarrassed to let them see her dragging her mama into her room for help like a damn child.

The moment the door closed, her mother was quick to take all the possible lights from inside, lighting them as Jeyne took off Sansa's dress.

"Let me see it," she requested. "We only have so much time."

The room was still dimly lit when Sansa took her dress to show it to her mother, already feeling her lower lip trembling as her eyes skimmed over it.

"Oh, Sansa," she shook her head. "Why did you tamper with it?"

"I didn't cut anything off," she affirmed quickly, as if that was enough, ready to cry. "I just thought Jon would prefer I wore something that fitted in better with the court, and then he saw the dress I was going to wear tonight and hated it, mother! He wants me to look like a Lady of the North, and now my dress is ruined!"

Her mother's face softened.

"Jeyne, go get Sansa's sewing kit," she commanded. "We need to undo the new threading. Sansa, we need to choose priorities. I don't know how much we can fix in such a short time."

Sansa tensed as she undressed, trying to be quick as Jeyne came over with their box. What if they worked all might and she still looked hideous on her wedding day?!

"We need more light," her mother told her. "This room is too dark, I can barely see anything."

"I'll go get it," she walked out.

The door had barely even closed when someone pushed it open again.

"Lady Sansa?" she heard, and looked up to see Myrcella. "Is everything alright?"

Her mother looked up at Sansa with wide eyes, and her face felt hot as a sunburn when she looked at the young princess, completely embarrassed.

And yet...

This was Myrcella. She could never mock Sansa.

"My dress," she whispered. "I need to fix it."

She exchanged a look with her lady in waiting, and walked inside quickly.

"And how do I help you?"

Mother didn't even hesitate.

"Unthread the hem of the sleeves," she instructed. "Sansa, go get the fur, and you two can work on that while I work on the cleavage of the dress."

Sansa's heart sank.

"What about the hem?"

She had sewed the small trail her mother had done on the hem of the dress to make it a simpler hem, something Sansa deeply regretted.

Myrcella turned to Rosamund and pointed at Sansa.

"Go undo her hair. That can't be comfortable."

She was right, it wasn't. Lady Elinor had a firm hand, and the hairstyle was starting to make her head ache.

Her fingers moved through her hair with a quick pace Sansa had never felt before, and she was just absorbed into her task with the right sleeve of her dress - which she had tightened and taken off fur from - when her door opened, and Princess Asha stepped inside looking at them for a long moment with a curious expression on her face before walking out, probably not wanting to even know what that fuss was all about.

Myrcella was halfway through untightening the inside of her sleeve when she sighed.

"We need more help," she decided.

Sansa flushed.

"Please, I can't bother-"

Before she could even finish her phrase, the door opened again, and all of the wives were standing outside, dressed in their sleeping robes. Except for Asha, they were all carrying sewing boxes, and the Greyjoy princess had a tray full of lights in her hands.

Sansa blinked, confused and shocked. They had all come?

Even Arianne and Margaery.

"Oh, Sansa, darling," Arianne said in an almost pitiful tone, looking at them. "Right before the wedding?"

"I was nervous," she blabbered. "I wanted it to be perfect."

"We all did when it was our wedding day," Margaery said simply. "Now, no time for talking. What are we here to do, Lady Stark?"

Asha walked inside, placing lights around them, and Sansa knew her mother was just as stunned as her when she saw how she was looking at the princesses.

"The hem was shortened," she said, at last. "You need to break the new threat, the original hem is just underneath."

"I'll do that," Princess Alys decided, and Mya nodded along.

"I'll get the sleeve with Myrcella," Margaery walked into them. "Arianne, you get the other one with Sansa?"

She confirmed with a short nod, and they all turned to Asha, who was standing between them, lost.

"I'll get the kitchen to make us black tea," she decided.

Sansa was about to raise her voice, ask her to keep this a secret and make the kitchen do the same, when all of the women around her did it instead, the princess and her mother together.

"The King must not know!"

Sansa knew well that Jon wouldn't care, but she did, and it was nice to know that those women understood her.

"Noted!" she called on her way out.

Rosamund undid the hair completely and the women all moved quickly and carefully, and Sansa almost wanted to cry in relief when they were done with the first sleeve, much earlier than she expected.

No one spoke much, just moving the light or asking for their ladies to bring them more tea once they came with it, per Asha's request, and while the seaborn princess didn't touch the dress - "I don't want to cause you any trouble," she had explained. “Needles aren’t my thing.” - she was helping everyone with their requests.

“Sansa!” someone called when she picked up the fur to sew back onto the hem of the sleeves, and turned to find Myrcella looking at her, shocked. “You’re getting married in the morning.”

She just stared at her for a brief moment before moving back to her sleeve, sewing the fur into place.

“I know,” she confirmed.

That was why she had to finish the dress quickly! Why else did Myrcella think they needed to rush?

“You need to be rested!” she argued.

She blinked, confused. And what? Leave them to fix her dress alone?

"I need to finish-" she tried to argue.

"No!" the other wives argued together.

"What, you want to be sleepy there?" Asha asked.

"And what if you pass out during the ceremony?" Margaery asked.

"Or the breakfast," Arianne added.

"But what about my dress?"

"We have six pairs of hands on it and Jeyne can replace you," Mya told her.

Sansa stared at them, in shock. Was that what it meant to share a husband with other six wives? Having a team of women begging you about sleep but also backing you up?

She had to admit, that kind of companionship was very appealing.

“Come, Lady Jeyne,” Margaery called.

Asha put her hands on Sansa’s her shoulders, pulling her to stand up.

“And to bed with you, my lady,” she joked, guiding her away.

“But-”

“Don’t worry,” her mother looked at her. “I’ll guide them along.”

“Come on,” Asha put a hand on her back. “My room is the nearest and I don’t want to brag, but my bed is very comfortable. I had it brought from-”

“The iron islands,” everyone spoke over her.

She scoffed in response, guiding Sansa across the corridor and into her room, and she was quick to notice how it was a little cooler than hers.

“I’ll bring your thick covers,” she told her. “Jon gave me the room closest to the winds.”

“He did?” she asked, sitting down.

Well, her bed as very soft.

She would have taken the rough Asha Greyjoy to be a woman who would rather sleep on a hard bed, but apparently she was the stark opposite.

“It was always very windy in my room back home,” she told her, smiling a bit. “I could see the beach from my window and never got too hot to sleep. He wanted me to feel truly welcomed into this place.”

“And were you?”

The princess looked at her face, watching her for a moment.

“You know, I never thought of myself as a woman who would get married,” she confessed. “I wanted Theon to come back, so I could avoid everything. And if I worked hard enough, I would be a worthy heir of my father, and then pass things on to my little brother and his children, which I would help him raise in the way of the Ironborn. But I had to get married, and I’m glad it was Jon and not a man who doesn't respect me. He’s a good partner to me, a good friend."

Sansa moved, a little awkward about how Theon was still their ward even after all of the changes.

But he was fine up North. He liked it there.

"Now, I just need to get my heir part done," she chuckled. "Hopefully, it won't take long and it'll be fun. But first, you go to sleep."

She moved up to the bed, engulfed by the softness, and watched as Asha left and came back with covers, giving them to her.

"Are you sure this is alright?"

"Of course," she assured her, chuckling a little. "Trust me, my lady, you aren't the first nor you'll be the last lady I've let sleep on my bed."

Oh. How nice of her.

"Thank you," she pulled her sheets up. "You're very kind.”

Asha just smiled along, and stepped out of the room, closing the door, and Sansa cuddled up to one of her many - many - pillows.

She wanted to worry, wonder how her dress would end up and if everything would be alright, but, surprisingly, couldn’t. She trusted the other wives, and knew that whatever they did to her dress, it would be the best outcome they could reach. So, she just fell asleep and let herself dream about her wedding day.

. . .

"The King's Wives" was posted on my Patreon back on June! To read the full story before anyone else and have early access to all of my works, subscribe to my page! It's just $2 a month!

. . .

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[talesfromsiteredacted]

A Not-Quite Blind Date

After Rabbit's extreme makeover SCP Foundation edition, she's nervous about her date with the Doctor. She has, yet again, turned her nerves into dessert. As she arrives a bit early to relieve Doctor Gears, he leaves her with a word of advice.

It's only 6 pm, and... I'm nervous. I never had an actual dinner date before. While I have dinner covered... I kinda wish I had a sister to ask about this. Like, what do I wear?

I'm down to two choices... a blue silk dress with matching lace sleeves, or a long green velvet dress with a slightly too low for work neckline. Hmm. I look good in either, but green is a confidence booster for me. Green velvet then. I dress, then try to do something with my mass of red hair. I settle on a simple loose braid. Then realize just why I rarely wear this outside of home... the neckline. If Lenny the Letch saw this it'd give him bad ideas. I throw a black cardigan over it, gather my stuff, and head out after 20 minutes.

I arrive to find the worst of the cleanup is over, and once again it's clean enough to eat in. Wow... Doctor Gears was so mad at Bright Bright had to clean the entire place. And surprisingly... it looks good. I tell them so, then set up for dinner.

"Speaking of looking sharp... I had no idea you have such an eye for fashion and what works on you, Rabbit. That dress is stunning. Perhaps you and Mrs. Gears should do a bit of shopping soon. I love my wife, but she has no sense of color."

"Thanks... but to 'steal this look', as they say, she'd be better off learning to sew. Believe it or not... I sewed this a while back, just to see if I could. Turns out, it is less expensive to do it yourself in this case."

"Rabbit, is there anything you can't do?"

"Statistics. It's why I'm in Security, I'm horrible with math." He blinks at me for a moment. He's not sure I'm kidding. "But... if Cain agrees to tutor me, who knows? I might actually pass this time." The oven timer dings, and I jump a tiny bit. I take out the lasagna to rest a moment. As it cools a minute, I set up the table. Two places, a candleholder with taper, two wineglasses... I'm set. Just as there's a knock on the door.

"Come in." It's Doctor Clef, with my Doctor. My Doctor blinks behind his mask.

"Rabbit, ma cherie? You look radiant, not that I did not find you lovely before. I must admit, your new haircolor suits you quite well. You also appear to be taller."

"I uh... had an accident with 914 today. There's been some... alterations. We can discuss them over dinner. I made lasagna."

I walk to the stove, and serve up three additional plates. I hand a tray with two to Doctor Gears. "As promised, one lasagna dinner, but for two. Time to clock out, Big Boss. Your wife can thank me later."

"I should say no, but... after even an hour watching Bright clean, I'm going to accept gratefully. On that note, enjoy your date you two, and if you must make a bad decision, please do not name it after me." He winks at us. Did... did Doctor Gears just attempt a joke? He really is tired. He departs, leaving just Doctors Clef and Bright for a moment with us. I sigh, hand a plate to Clef, and... out of mercy, even give a small slice to Dr. Bright. He looks surprised.

"For me? What gives? I thought you hated me."

"We all think you're a bit of an idiot, but we don't hate you. Now, don't make me regret this. And don't let us detain you boys. You're not married, but you need time off too." I look at the two surplus doctors. "And didn't O5 say you two were not to be together unsupervised? Our responsible supervision headed home, you two should too." Grumbling, they leave.

We finally get to have our date. I tell my dearest what happened, pausing and answering questions as he asks. Two plates of food and two glasses of wine later, the tale is told.

"Angeline, please know I am yours, even if you become less physically attractive to others. I love your heart, soul, and body. That being said... do you believe you can still... touch me? I'm almost afraid to try."

I stand up, and move next to him. Echoing the first time, I extend my left hand to him. Only instead of taking his hand, I caress his mask. I'm still alive. I wouldn't say nothing happened, I still feel a tingle as my skin meets his, but nothing else. He blinks, then leans into my hand.

"You are a miracle, ma coeur. And I'm grateful for every moment together. I love you."

"I love you too. How about after I clean up here, we go back to your quarters and you can give me a thorough physical exam?" He laughs.

"As you wish, dearest."

[fourseasonsfigs]

A-Han and Xiao-Zhe Drinking Wine

Ah, to lounge around, mellow and relaxed, drinking wine on a warm summer's day - that's the good life!

I'm going to skip my usual introduction to the JZEUniverse since I just posted about it yesterday, so catch up if you want first and come back, it'll be worth it!

Yesterday I posted about A-Han and Dashixiong, and I promised you an A-Han video in this post. Without further ado, here it is, patient and lovely figthusiasts, credit on video:

Very inspirational indeed. See what I mean when I talked about the anklet yesterday? Cities would crumble.

I regret that Tumblr only allows me one video per post, which means I can't also post a Xiao-Zhe video, because you absolutely deserve it. You can always go further refresh your eyes on my previous Xiao-Zhe post, but in the meantime, here's more fig inspiration:

Nice white pants, Xiao-Zhe. You won't be seeing those in this fig set!

These beautiful figs arrived safely in a plain white box, lounging around in their little carved-out polystyrene foam.

Here's the full set. The table and drinks are one piece, as is A-Han and his cushion. A-Han's insouciant lounging pose is so delightfully long and languid that it can't be supported by itself, even though he's sitting on a cushion. He just topples right over just by himself.

But he doesn't need to! The fig maker included this mini-lounging stand, so he can drape himself over the furniture as beautifully as he likes. You can see where the little tab on his sleeve fits into the matching indentation on the carved stand.

And ta-da! Here we are! Beautiful. All the better to show off that long expanse of leg and the golden anklet that could launch a thousand ships.

As you can see, this is a strictly pants-free summery magical world we're now in. The heat, understand. It's TOO hot to wear too many layers!

A better view of that casual lounge, and their beautiful hairstyles. Getting quite the breeze there, Xiao-Zhe!

Look at the 3-D effect on Xiao-Zhe's bangs! Very cool. Speaking of cool, looking very leggy there, boys. The details on the little table here are also very nice, and echo the drinking table at A-Han's Koi Mountain Manor.

Hard to see much in the way of detail from the shot from above, but that's some beautiful glossy hair there, Xiao-Zhe.

Speaking of detail, it's time for an extreme closeup so you can see all the gorgeous gold jewelry and the draping of A-Han's robes. Such a beautiful, elegant fig.

Our lotus spirit is looking big (heart) eyed and beautiful in his extreme closeup. Here's a nice view of the jade drinkware as well as well as the detail on Xiao-Zhe's robes. They don't drape quite as nicely as A-Han's, but are clearly providing superior ventilation.

Xiao-Zhe is quite the little nudist under his robes - he's got a full moon going on under there as well as the world's smallest unit. Lotus spirits just have to be wild and free, you know?

These two didn't come with box cards and there was no box art, which is too bad because I would have loved some art of these two beauties. It's far too pretty of a set to leave you without at least one more full angle, so here you go.

Speaking of full angles, I may be the only purchaser of this fig set that didn't realize I had also purchased the full show - I turned the figs over to take pics from the underside (as I do, very innocently, I might add!) and got quite the 1mm surprise. When I was done laughing my head off, I was faced with the question of whether to likewise share with my fellow figthusiasts.

So in the interest of full disclosure (ha!) for anyone that might wish to purchase these figs in the future, I will simply continue to place any vaguely spicy material or any portrayal of basic lotus spirit anatomy under our patented figthusiast Spice Stars ***** after the fig count. Anyone who is not in a place or time where they can explain why they are giggling at the screen can simply skip on by.

Material: PVC

Fig Count: 184

Scene Count: 14

Rating: Fresh as a cool breeze

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

*******************************************

Per usual, I'll talk a bit so even those with the largest phones or computer screens are spared the sight of any incriminating paparazzi pics. I mean, Xiao-Zhe is hanging out (ha!) in the privacy of his best friend's manor, and if a lotus spirit can't be ready to skinny dip at the whim of a moment there, where can he? I mean, a koi pond is literally right there.

A good philosophical question, thoughtful figthusiasts. One that similar minded people might be inclined to ponder on a lazy summer day, relaxing around with a pitcher of wine and a good friend. However, it occurs to me (a little too late!) that rather than reading me rambling on, a large picture might be literally worth a thousand words here, so let me find a new one I haven't posted yet to take up some space:

I was trying to find one where he was (rightfully) giving me the side eye, but this will have to do.

Alright!

Dare I even mention to add this is a nice view of A-Han's anklet from the underside as well?

Well now you know, if you choose to purchase this set! And I would recommend it if you can access Xianyu (or there may be remainders on the docket, I don't think I've seen any announcements come through for it), it's really very beautiful.

[nathank77]

8/11/24

5:12 p.m

If you're here Elise and I think you are, I know you've seen Game of Thrones.

I am like Jorah for you, I'll always love you but I only want you to be happy. I'd fight for you. I'd die for you. I'd do almost anything for you. And I'd never expect anything from you not even your words.

One thing I've always loved about jorah is he never acted on his love for Dani. Everyone knew he was head over heels in love with her, even she knew but he never acted on it.

My only regret is that I asked you if you were attracted to me. It was stupid, you a married woman. I wish I hadn't asked but I wish if I did ask I phrased it differently. I wish since I did ask that I phrased it how i wanted to but I was too afraid to. I felt that attracted was more benign. I wanted to ask if you had feelings for me. But I didn't feel like I could ask that. Idk why I felt I could ask you if you were attracted to me. I mean I wear my heart on my sleeve and I went too far but I'd never again.

I'm like Jorah cause if I was ever given the chance to know you, you'd know I love you but I'd never act on it. I'd just be by your side until I died, always supporting you and caring about you and wanting to help you in any way I can.

[ourmagicplace]

Now for the proper reply

It's kind of funny. After posting my previous thing and then finishing reading what you posted the first thing I noticed is how different we are. You're so strong and independent. You kick so much butt and you're just an incredible woman and then here I am wearing my stupid heart on my sleeve and would probably be lost as hell without you. I'm sure there's a reason for it all but it would be nice to be that sure of myself. It really is something I admire so much about you. So I'm going to try to follow the same paragraph flow while I reply so as to not make it confusing. It sucks that we feel limitations with each other, especially when needing to say something or check in or something like that but I also get why that's the case. I mean, I know I don't keep it a secret that I wish things were like they were even in just that respect but I get it. The world and time continued to move forward and no wishing it wouldn't could make it stop and with that comes changes and unfortunately one of those is not being as open as we once were. When you said yesterday, I think it was yesterday at least, when we were big on details it hit me hard that we weren't anymore and probably hadn't been in a while and I found myself missing it but again it's understandable. I always loved how you could be a dreamer and realist at the same time but I do think they lived in more harmony before. Now I feel like the realist is more prominent which isn't a bad thing but I just hope you don't forget to dream every now and then. I've always thought your mind is a wonderful thing.

I don't think you told me that no. If it helps you're the only person I regret ending it with. I was always someone who thought things happen for a reason and I try not to regret anything but it's been a long time and I don't know why it happened. I've told you before I read over our old things and all I think is I wish I replied more or better or something but another thing I notice is that you're right you did hold on and I don't know if I realised it at the time or not but I didn't deserve you to hold on like you did. Now I'm the one holding on, to what I don't know, but here I am. You hit the nail on the head so wonderfully with saying that. Yeah, this place is adequately named and it fits into so many facets of our life together. It's a beautiful reminder of what it was. Also, you may not know it but you were definitely my muse and you still are. No one inspires me like you do and I know I've never been able to replicate it.

I agree. Our relationship was so different from anything else I had before or even after. We moved not necessarily slower but in a different way. We were truly in our own wonderful world, a world I wish I had never left but happy that I was in it at all. Over a full decade? I would say maybe one other person if that. Believe me, that is a very special thing I hold close to me. This may sound weird, especially with where we both are in our lives and whatnot but you are my forever. It may not be in the traditional sense but what with us has been traditional but yeah you live rent-free in my heart and always will. I truly believe you're my forever. You're my soulmate and if that's one way I'm fine with that. Like you said if that's what you get when it comes us being in each others lives for so long that you'll be okay. I'll be okay knowing that I met the person who is my soulmate and got to be in her life so long.

I wish I had that resolve. I buckled under the pressure of my family wanting certain things for me. Not wanting me to do certain things. All that stuff. I think in the past I was more sure of the person I was but now I don't know. I don't know if I told you but I had a plan. I don't know if you remember but I moved to another state. The plan was to move there for a few years, get to know you again because at the time we didn't talk much at all, save money and the move to America and hopefully be with you but around that time you got into a relationship and we didn't talk much then mum kept making me feel bad for moving and wanting to continue and somewhere in those two years I lost myself and just became someone else. I'm still trying to find my old self. I have to admit sometimes I wonder where we'd be if we didn't worry so much about our parents. My brother moved overseas and I was so angry for a long time. You are very charismatic. I've realised that a lot lately when we're playing games with other people and whatnot. It's honestly wonderful to see. I wouldn't say tainted. I would probably say comfortable with who you are. You know you more than most people know themselves and you know what makes you happy. Not a lot of people can say that.

I think in a way you've had to rely on yourself more than others because honestly you have had some untrustworthy people in your life. A lot of people have hurt you and I think that put up a wall around your heart and although I don't mean it in a bad way no one has tried to really break through that or maybe they think they're more deserving to just have everything out in the open rather than earn it and have you feel vulnerable around them. I don't know. Maybe I'm saying a lot of nonsense but that's just what I think. I mean, looking back to how you were to how you are I think it may be a little bit of that mixed with just getting older and being more mature. I just don't want you to shut off entirely, you know. I for one am always going to be here to listen. You never have to go through things alone all the time if you don't want to. I understand being a shook up coke bottle. Not a lot of people understand when the bottle finally explodes. They think you're just being a dick but that's not the case.

It's in my plans too to be honest but I don't know if I'll ever get there. You can honestly dive into whatever whenever you want. I mean, I know there's things we dance around or just straight up don't say but you can tell me anything. If it may gut punch me I'd much rather listen to you and then deal with my feelings or whatever later. I don't think you would have been you, no. If you said yes or whatever it may be just because you thought it was the thing to do but not because it's what you wanted you would never have been truly happy. Maybe one day your mind willl change or maybe it'll be someone else but as long as it's what you want and not what you think you want or what is right. You know you and you know you'll feel it if/when it's right and that goes with way more than just relationship things.

but real damn gonna do me like that huh? Lol I'm just kidding. I know what you mean. I really feel like you feel like your relationship is weighing you down. I know he just moved and all but don't let that stop you from being happy and right now it doesn't feel like you are. I think you need something different and that person more or less proved it.

I don't blame you for avoiding a lot of it here. I come here a lot when I'm at my... I don't know if weakest is the right word but that's what I'm sticking with right now. It's past midnight so my words aren't doing well right now. The funny thing is that's still how I feel with you. I never feel like I need to prove myself or be anyone I'm not around you. I can be me and you can be you and that's all that's needed. I don't really have that with anyone else. You're right. I had no idea you did. I always feel so self-conscious going back because I thought it was just me. I always think why I can't get past it all when you had. Maybe that's something I need to try and get used to. Being okay with it. At times I'm more of the who knows what's around the corner type person but maybe I should be okay with what it was and what it is now. I hope I can be.

See what's where I find it hard to get my head around. I'd give anything for our futures to overlap, even for a little bit, but I know the chances of that are slim to none. Even going there would be difficult to get to work out, I know that. I'd have to find a perfect gap where you had nothing on or time off work or something. I mean, I'll go there one day I have no doubt but I'm always worried that I won't want to leave lol or on the flip side what if you meet me and you realise you don't want to see me. I don't know it's a lot on my mind with that. You know I'd never talk bad about what you have, not in a way where i make anyone out as the bad guy but unless you asked him to move so close it's not on you. You've given try after try. I mean, how many times have you told me alone that if he messes up again you're done and then he does but there you are beside him. If he made you happy or tried or anything then maybe it'll be worth it but he doesn't even do that all that much. You just told me how you'd even be comfortable with just yourself and I think you'd be more comfortable and content than you are now but in saying that you know your relationship way better than I do but don't settle just because of gesture. Gestures don't last forever. Never having met you would have been an absolute travesty.

Geez. I had no idea it was so bad. That breaks my heart. I am, again I don't know if glad is the right word but glad that you were able to pick yourself up. It's yet another thing that makes me so proud and inspired by you but also I think it's another thing that makes you put up those walls I mentioned earlier. You felt like you had no one and needed to take care of you which there's nothing wrong with having your own back but I have to admit I feel like it's my fault that you couldn't lean on me. I should have been there for you. I never should have stopped being there for you.

I love that that never left the ability to be able to know when you're not 100%. I don't know if that's messed up to say but I want you to know I'll always be around to check on you. Sometimes I'll miss things here and there but you can always tell me when you're not great and I'll listen. Always. Sometimes I do worry all we chat about these days are rping and games but then we'll have a deep conversation and I know that is at least still something we'll always have but I also do like the light rping and gaming chats haha. I do wish we shared more than small things and I hope one day we'll get there again but if small things is all we're at I'm happy with that.

I am willing to but I also feel bad when I do. I feel like I'm pressuring you into talking about things you're not comfortable with or ready to talk about and I don't want you to ever feel pressured. Apparently I'm a fan of the ripple moments and this is our magic place. It's like a space we can say what we want I think. I hope it continues even for a little bit.

Thos lyrics are lovely

Next morning add on: I don't know if it was because of how late it was or the fact that it's you but I haven't opened up like that in a long time.

[monathedefiant]

secret invasion wasted its potential. here are some stand out flops (mostly from the finale):

the skrodey reveal happened too soon and also just made no fucking sense. more on that here

fury doesn't develop as a character. like. At All!! he starts it the way he ends with no growth and no real acknowledgement of how his actions (or lack thereof) impacted others aside from varra. even then, as much as i love fury, what he gave her was half-assed at best and if i was her bff i'd have told her to leave him

i know the credits were ai-generated but was the storytelling also done by an ai? i'm genuinely curious

what was the point of maria's death? talos' death? again, fury doesn't grow as a person over the course of the series. so these went from being monumental moments of loss for him to just not mattering at all in the grand scheme of things

i'm cackling at the idea that secret invasion was supposed to be andor of the mcu. they fucking wish they had it like that. i'd say it's more like tbobf 2.0 but at least that show did give boba Some Development even if it was shoved into the first two episodes

the cgi fight at the end was a wholeass joke. g'iah and gravik getting all these powers and not struggling with them once was stupid. g'iah even uses mantis' powers but at no point has to deal with the blowback of being able to sense gravik's intense emotions of hatred, betrayal, and hurt. we were promised a show about intrigue and spy shit!!!! but this fight was just more of the same just with worse quality and apparently less impact on the overall storyline

domestic terrorists just going around shooting important figures in broad daylight with no problem. where was security?? they ran up on that one senator lady at the podium during a press conference and i'm supposed to believe her security detail didn't get active?? esp after the brutal murder of the news anchor by people in the exact same style of clothing????? what

i love varra as much as the next person. she's smart, persevering, competent, and gorgeous in both forms. she also wears her heart on her sleeve and is willing to practice emotional honesty. but at no point did the show ever convince me that she was a good diplomat. we don't see her doing diplomacy not once. she was unable to convince skrodey to back off of fury. her and g'iah don't talk about anything that seems to have a lasting impact on either of them. she doesn't even deal directly with gravik. speaking of which

varra introduced gravik and fury. now gravik is dead and she doesn't mention him not once when her and fury are getting ready to go negotiate with the kree. no sadness, no regret, not even a moment of silence for the young skrull she once knew.

and why is g'iah not involved in this process?? it's what her dad died hoping for: a home for the skrulls. why isn't she with them? like i get this is supposed to be a romantic thing for varra and nick but skrull lives are on the line more than ever and they're doing a pretty monumental thing without telling anyone?? *long sigh of continued frustration*

and what was the point of that one skrull that g'iah brought in, beto?? i thought he'd play a significant part in the series. when gravik killed him, i thought it'd be a turning point for the other skrulls to turn their backs on gravik. instead he slaughters a bunch of them and it's just a thing that happens. no one mentions this later on. there's no funeral. it doesn't even impact the story it happens in let alone the larger mcu narrative. like everything else in this series, it's just Something That Happens

i'm sure there are other points at which secret invasion dropped the ball. but these were the most prevalent on my mind.

this show had sooooo much potential and to watch all of it just go up in flames has been so disappointing. it's got me wondering how much time i really want to invest in future mcu shows on disney plus esp now that i'm no longer subscribed to mr mickey's little channel. like there's always

but will it be worth it??? it's looking like a no for me

[yanpersonalconfession]

For the past ten years, I chose to be his even though I knew that there would be no future. I remained faithful and loved him unconditionally, it is true that it wasn't planned.

I knew of him even before, I knew he was a good actor, I watched his movies and enjoyed the plot but I never thought of him as that handsome guy I would fall for especially when I was emotionally unattached because in my head I was with Jay.

2012 was a weird year for me; I had a crush on my cousin's cousin and it was also a longshot crush, but he was making my life happy! One day I dreamt of him and the entire cast of the superhero movie I refused to watch because I know I wouldn't enjoy it, my crush and I was talking while the cast was lounging about on the livingroom, then it was time to say goodbye, my crush and I walked out of the house and hugged tightly.

Then I felt his lips upon mine and I closed my eyes, when I opened them there he was, the other guy, the man that had become the center of my world. It wasn't my former crush who I had kissed but Tres, I looked to the side and there my former crush was, held back by Thor* and Tony* since Tres apparently was the one who had a crush on me when I didn't paid him any attention.

Soon after that, I woke up and said, that it was one weird dream since I didn't even know them, I just knew they were actors!

Then there was the next dream, and after that I decided to do my research to find out who is the man I was dreaming about. And it was him, I didn't fall in love with him because he was handsome, I fell in love with him when he opened up about his anxiety. I fell for the man who wasn't afraid to show his vulnerability to his supporters.

For ten years, my entire life revolved around him. He was my sun, the center of my universe! Oh don't get me wrong I still find people hot and I still get crushes on other guys, but it didn't get further than that because he was the person I love above all else!

It's stupid, I know.

Ten years, a decade! But did I regret those years lost to me because of me being an unavailable person even though he had girlfriends? No, I don't.

I won't regret even a second of me being in love with him, but it's time for me to choose me!

I tried, oh how I tried, getting over him last December (2022) I even went out of the City to do just that, but the moment I started the trip, my brain and my heart betrayed me since instead of me getting over him. It decided to show me a life that is different from what I am currently living, it showed me a future where he loved me back. He loved me so much that he respected my wish not to be involved in the spotlight, we were married but I was thankful for my brain for not showing any ceremony because that would have been a stretch.

It showed me my children with him, Jake and Rihanna, it showed me a possible future that I carried back when I went back to the city.

Then I decided to stop with that line of thought but one day when I was trying to fall asleep my brain showed me and him in front of my hometown's church, with his circle of friends and me wirh my family. We were both wearing white (me a white Sunday dress and him a white long sleeved shirt with tan pants) and we were facing away from each other talking to our respective people while holding on to each other's hands showing that even we are busy doing our own thing, we are still together, we are still connected.

Then I just opened my eyes, shook my head and sighed then decided to get on with my life.

Then one day last December (2022) I closed my eyes trying to get a goodnight sleep when I saw the altar of my church, I thought, "oh, maybe Jesus is just sending me a message" as it was showing me the big crucifix before it panned down and saw a priest that at that time didn't know actually existed in real life! The priest said, "Do you...." and my brain was having a hard time continuing on with that sentence since it's like he forgot the wedding vows, but he said "yes carry on father" then the priest really did carry on and he said "I do" then the priest turned towards me and remade the vows to which I said "I do" too.

Then I was married. A married woman with no physical husband to show, I carried that until the Christmas break, I was so happy!

Went back to where I am currently living now to get back to work, then that video happened.

I didn't plan on marrying him!

I didn't plan on loving him!

I told myself I won't get married in any fictional world since I know my own self that if I did, I would carry that vow even in my living world!

Now, I am currentl writing this because I can't go on holding on to that vow I gave.

I'm sorry, but with a heavy heart I must free you from this tangled mess my brain made Tres.

Jake and Rihanna, my babies, Mommy loves you both to the very ends of this world. But you might not be my children here in this pysical plane, but you both will always be my special angels.

To my Tres, the love of my life.

This was my story, the story of how I started falling for you, and the story of how it ended, with me choosing myself. It could be a once upon a time Tres, or it could be one day soon.

But for now, I love you too much my heart, but it's time for us to set each other free. You're free to love whomever you choose to, just make sure that you are happy, really, truely and irrevocably happy. I will always support you as a fan.

But that's the only thing we could ever be.

Good bye my love, be happy.

[kingsuckjin]

Company Policy -JJK

- Pairing: coworker Jungkook x reader

- Genre: established relationship? Sort of

- Rating:18+

- Words: 5k

- Summary: Eight months. Eight months you have regretted breaking off being fuck buddies with your hot coworker. You were so afraid of being caught with him but now that you’ve had time to think, would it really be so bad as long as you could have him all to yourself again? Does he even like you anymore? Has he moved on? All you know is it’s been eight months since you’ve had sex, he’s been all you could think about. Now he’s looking pretty hot at this office party.

- Warnings: pining, explicit content, public sex, they fuck on a coworker’s desk, public sex, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, heavy dirty talk, brief mention of oral sex and a ton of other past sexual acts like thigh riding and hair pulling, kind of jealous tattooed kook, not voyurism but someone else is there at some point, and finally a dash of fluff.

- A/n: This post is a commission for the ARMY for AAPI Justice and Advocacy Event. Please click >here< to find more resources and consider donating to the cause! Thank you so incredibly much to the donor @lcksndkys​ for donating and commissioning this, you are an absolute angel, I hope you know that. I might’ve gotten a bit carried away and wrote a few thousand more words than planned, but you deserve it. 

“Morning,” 

“Morning.” Was the greeting between you and Jungkook every morning when you stepped into the elevator, coffee in hand.

That was it, that was all you ever said to each other anymore. His smell always floated around the confined space making your mind flashback to what once was before you quickly pushed it away from your brain.

Neither of you ever said anything about it, it was like it had never even happened and sometimes you wonder if it even had or if your brain had made up everything that had happened eight months ago from your frequent dirty thoughts of your coworker. It felt like a lifetime ago. The familiarity of him, his smell, his smile, his voice along with the cold distance, avoidance to even look at you, and the constant wonder of him having someone else made you a little sick at your stomach.

You had decided to break things off… as if either of you were any more than fuck buddies. You knew that if anyone at work had ever found out about the two of you, you’d most likely both be fired. No banging other employees was a pretty strict policy there and you remembered the two nice ladies that were fired last year for it, you remembered it because your boss had made such an example of it.

You had been more than paranoid when you and Jungkook were boning for a whole month, you both had been so secretive even going as far as to have each other park down the street from your houses when the other came over. It didn’t help that you lived with your sister and didn’t want her to know you were sneaking someone in the house and screwing them. It also didn’t help that his roommate worked there too and didn’t get along at times. It didn’t seem like all the effort to sneak around was worth it at the time, but now you felt like you had a mistake.

As you took your seat behind the reception desk and began to put away your things for the morning, you just kept stealing glimpses of him doing the same at his cubicle. Every morning he would put his black messenger bag under his desk, turn on his computer, and roll the sleeves of his white button-up shirt up to reveal one very tattooed arm. His wavy hair was usually put back into a half ponytail for professionalism and probably so he could see, but there were always strands that managed to escape his hair elastic throughout the day. It was painful mentally at times having a view of him but trying not to look, it was painful knowing he wouldn’t look back at you anymore. You could still feel what it was like when he had glanced at you and smiled at you, your heart sped up at just the thought. 

“Ugh why are you always here so early, you leave before I even wake up.” his roommate,Jimin, had walked in, looking great as usual but a bit tired in the face. He was lingering around Jungkook’s desk with his things still in hand.

“I like to be prepared, unlike you.” Jungkook joked back with a smile but you knew it was just more than a joke, Jungkook really didn't care for Jimin, he was a bit too spiteful towards him sometimes.

He had always come in early, you both were typically the first ones here besides the janitor. You had to be, your boss liked you here nice and early to greet everyone as they walked in.

“You coming to the thing tonight? The boss is letting us have booze.” Jimin asked him.

You felt like you really shouldn’t be paying attention to the conversation so you went back to sipping your coffee and getting ready to start the day.

“Hey.”

It nearly scared you to death as you rummaged through your bag under the desk for your chapstick. Your body jolted up to see Jimin leaning one arm on the reception counter.

“What?” you asked in confusion, wondering what he was now doing hanging around you with such a sly smirk.

“Well good morning to you too. Are you going to the party tonight? Boss is having a thing to celebrate meeting our yearly product sales goal.”

“I… haven’t thought about it, why?” you were honest, it didn’t mean anything to you.

“I know we have this policy, but you should think about going with me.” he gave you a wink that made you raise your eyebrows in surprise. “We could come here and have a few drinks and a good time, then we could go back to my place and-”

“How about we don’t? We could just not do that.” you gave him a very fake smile.

Sudden loud coughing erupted through the room making you both look over at the source.

Jungkook was doubled over with his coffee still in his hand.

“You good?” Jimin asked him casually and Jungkook gave a thumbs up to show he was fine, even though his big eyes were slightly teary before holding up his coffee cup to signify he had strangled on his coffee.

“Anyway, if you’re worried about someone saying something about us, you could just come separately and we could just see what happens…”

“I’m not worried because there is no us, Jimin. I’ll come, but let’s not see what happens, and let’s not even speak.” 

“Your loss. At least I’ll have Jungkook there with me.” Jimin responded along with a shrug to your savage words before walking away.

You looked over to Jungkook to make sure he hadn’t died because he was no longer choking, you just wanted to make sure he was still breathing but your eyes were met with his. He was giving you this gaze before he raised his eyebrows at you with a slight momentary smirk, it all only lasted less than a split second before he adjusted his black tie and turned back around to face his desk. 

How could he be so casual with a look like that at you? How could he be so casual with everything that had happened between you? You had no idea what that look was about but it had your brain so frazzled. It could’ve been nothing, but it was the most interaction you’ve had with him in so long, all it had done was remind you how starved for him you were.

You looked down at your desk feeling your face get a little warm.

Images of that very shirt he was wearing right now, being unbuttoned rapidly with those tattooed fingers in some dark, sketchy hotel room ran through your mind. 

“I wish you knew how much I’d go through to be this close to you, to be inside of you.” The memory of his words and hushed voice into your skin gave you goosebumps.

The same man who had said that now sat right over there, not even having tried to flirt with you in the past eight months as you sat here and wondered why you do this to yourself. 

Did he still feel that way or had he just meant it at the moment? There were plenty at the moment things that he had said that would flood into your mind just to hurt you when you saw him.

You glanced at him throughout the day as you often did.

You avoided each other on your lunch break, stepping around each other to get to the vending machines in the break room.

You ate at your desk alone while he ate with Jimin in the break room.

Things were the same as they had been, the look he had given you earlier meant nothing, maybe nothing that had happened in the past meant nothing to him too.

Maybe it was all just fun like you both had planned for it to be, if so, why were you still so stuck on it? Why were you stuck on him? You told yourself it was just because he was attractive, the most gorgeous man in the office, but there were just these little things about him you couldn’t get over. The way he stretched and grunted in the morning, you knew the way he liked his coffee, you knew his parents’ names. You had both shared so much of your lives for an entire month almost constantly until you ripped it away from yourself so stupidly. You had both agreed to delete each other’s numbers, but the truth was, you still kept his name in your phone with little hearts by his name. You needed this to end, you needed to stop being so hung up on him because he wasn’t with you. You decided to go to this thing tonight and at least hope for some answers, if you failed to get any you would do your best to stop thinking about him.

------------------ 

You had talked yourself out of this more than five times already, but you had gotten dressed and ready and made the drive over.

You now sat in the office parking lot just picking lint off of your black dress, not looking forward to how awkward this might be. In your years of working there, you had mostly just kept to yourself… until the thing with Jungkook happened.

“Are you nervous? You look nervous” he gave you a little smile from across the table from the coffee shop. He had asked you to get coffee after work and he could see right through you

“A little.” You had admitted.

“Don’t be shy, it’s just me. It’s just Jungkook, we work together every day.”

“Don’t be nervous.” You found yourself saying out loud to yourself as you gazed out your windshield at the building. “I shouldn’t be. I work with him every day and nothings going to happen anyway.” You hurt yourself a little with the last part. You put a lot more care into how you looked tonight than you wanted to admit.

“It’s just a stupid office party,” you grumbled to yourself before unbuckling your seatbelt and getting out of the car, if it was horrible or boring then you could just go home.

-----

You didn’t know what you had expected, but it wasn’t this. You had followed the signs to the floor that had held a large meeting room, but it didn’t look like a meeting room now.

It was just a room full of people with a snack table and alcohol. The room was dimmed but there were some cheap party effects lighting things happening. People were laughing and talking over some pop music that wasn’t eardrum-bustlingly loud but you still had to strain to hear over. You spotted a lot of coworkers you saw every day, more that you didn’t know from different departments though. You kind of just went and stood by a wall with your eyes searching faces, not stopping too long on any just in case they might think you were staring at them. Before you had left you wondered if you had been too dressed up, but now you were glad for your little black dress as you saw what the others were wearing. Everyone looked so nice and not at all what you were used to them wearing. 

While your eyes were going over who was talking to who, you found him.

In the corner of the room on the opposite end, talking to some girl you had only seen a handful of times. She was touching her hair and smiling at him. He looked so dressed down in his ripped black jeans and a black t-shirt. His tattoos were freed as you had always liked seeing and his hair wasn’t being held back. You had seen him like this multiple times, but had anyone else? He had always looked so good like this, so himself. 

Just seeing his hair down reminded you of all the times you had grabbed at it while moaning his name. Seeing him in those black ripped jeans reminded you of all the times he has made you ride his chiseled, hard thighs until you came multiple times. 

You felt like you had been kicked in the heart as your brain went back to the present moment and saw her placing a hand on his shoulder.

He laughed at something she had said but took a step back out of her grasp smoothly before giving her a small wave. A few more words were exchanged before she apprehensively walked away from him, heaving him alone to stand at the wall on the other side of the room.

Your eyes darted away from him and over to the snack and drink table, you weren’t planning on getting any, but you wanted to make it look that way.

You felt nervous, he looked good and at least one other person had noticed. You told yourself that the lady who had just spoken to him didn’t know him as you did, she probably just saw a hot guy dressed in black with tattoos… just like you had when you both had started whatever happened. He was more than all of that, to you especially now after you had a lot of time to think about it all.

Although you didn’t want your eyes to, they had darted to him for a split second to see he had his phone out… until he looked up from it at you.

He had seen you, he had seen you looking at him from across the room, but he didn’t react. Instead, his eyes went back down to his phone, and yours went back to the table.

Your phone buzzed in your bag and you decided to fish it out thinking it could help you look busy.

“Hey, it’s Jungkook. I see you :)”

Your heart nearly jumped out of your mouth as you read the text. 

He hadn’t deleted your number just like you hadn’t his.

You felt his eyes watching you but you didn’t look up. He was waiting for your reply, but you just stood there dumbfounded that he had just sent you a text from across the room.

“I know.” you had nervously typed different versions of this reply over and over only to erase each time before settling on the most simple reply.

“You look good.” it had taken him no time to reply in comparison to you. You stood there in shock and lost as to what to say to him. You were taking too long because he sent a second text.

“I know that dress. I remember it.”

You had been hoping he would. You had worn this dress on the first night you both had ever done anything. You made out in his car after your coffee date. He had just kept telling you how pretty you looked even with his hand in your underwear. It was hard to resist him from even the first date, you had no idea how you had made it eight months now.

“You look nice too, you always have.” You typed and sent it quickly before you could change your mind.

You watched him run his inked fingers through his hair as he read the text. You could swear you saw a flash of a smile on his face before his thumbs went to work on his phone.

“I miss you.” Popped up on your screen.

Part of you felt like crying a little. You felt his eyes on you once again and you looked up away from your phone to see that your feeling had been correct. You were sure your mouth was open as you locked eyes from across the room. Your phone vibrated again in your hand.

“We should talk.”

“Hey, gorgeous!” Jimin stepped in front of you making you lock your phone. “I know you said let’s not talk but-“

“Then why are you talking to me?”

“How could I not? You’re the prettiest one here.” He smirked but you could smell the alcohol on his breath. You couldn’t help the roll of your eyes.

“Oh hey! I’ve been looking for you!” Jungkook now walked up with a smile at you. “You found her for me and didn’t even know I was looking, thanks, man.” Jungkook seemed to be thanking an equally confused as you Jimin.

“Sorry to bother you about work stuff at a party, but I forgot to earlier. I need the contact info to a client I’ve been working on to sell more products to. It’s wild, it’s like I went to the bathroom one day and the info to this big buyer just kinda… disappeared I guess. So weird, almost like someone has it out for me.” Jungkook gave the fakest joking laugh you had ever seen and Jimin looked a bit wide-eyed. “Anyway, You’re the receptionist so I know you have the contact info for everyone anyway so I was wondering if you could maybe help me out and get it for me? It’s kind of really important and I need it ASAP. Already asked the boss and he said it was cool.” 

Jimin had just kind of slinked off silently, but you knew what Jungkook was doing.

“Yeah, Uh of course.” You nodded.

He tilted his head in the direction of the door before you followed him out.

He led you towards the elevator in absolute silence and even as he pushed the button for the floor you both worked on he said nothing.

You were beginning to think he was wanting your help. And then you thought about it more in the silent ride and you felt so stupid. Of course he was wanting your help, he had never said he actually didn’t, not even when Jimin had walked away.

“I can’t believe that asshole sabotaged me like that. My roommate sabotaged my sale.” He mumbled before scoffing as the elevator door opened.

“I-I’ll help.” You said but he passed right by your desk.

“I’m glad you said that.” He replied as he walked over to Jimin’s cubicle.

“What are we doing?” You finally asked.

“Depends…” he raised an eyebrow as he looked back at you. “What do you want me to do?” 

You swallowed the lump of nervousness in your throat to speak as you looked into his mischievous-looking dark eyes.

“Whatever you want I guess.”

He lifted you in almost an instant and sat you on Jimin’s desk.

“You know he’s always liked you, right? He would tell on us if he ever found out. You were willing to risk it, right here right now?” He dared.

Instead of speaking you grabbed a fist full of his t-shirt and tugged him down until his lips met yours.

God did you want it. You have wanted for eight long months. You were willing to risk everything after so long without his lips on yours.

You were still nervous but his kiss brought it all back for you and how natural it felt.

“Fuck me.” You pleaded against his lips.

“You need it? Tell me you need it.” His lips moved to your neck as he ran a hand through the back of your hair.

“Ah, fuck I need it. I haven’t fucked anyone since you.” It slipped out of your mouth and got a second your body went rigid.

“Me neither.” He nipped at your neck.

The second thing he had done tonight that had stunned you.

“Wait.” You stopped him and he backed up to look at you.

“I missed you too. Not just… not just this, I missed you. I don’t know if you feel the same but-“

“What did you think I meant by I missed you? I didn’t just mean the sex or your body. I meant you as a person.” 

“I-why didn’t you just say?” You wondered out loud. 

He dropped to the floor on his knees between your legs.

“Cause you dumped me.” He let out a snort “you told me to delete your number, which surprise, I didn’t. You wouldn’t look at me. Plus this went two ways you know. You didn’t contact me either.” He stated as he looked up at you while ghosting his fingers over the skin of your thighs as he spoke.

“I dumped you?” You were surprised by this news. You know neither of you had had the relationship talk before.

“I mean, I like to think we were together.”

“Then we should be again,” you decided. You were tired of wanting him and not having him and something told you that he felt the same.

“I think so too,” he whispered, inching his lips closer and closer to yours before smashing into them.

His hands squeezed at the meat of your thighs before trailing them up the sides, up under your skirt, and hooking them in your panties. Your tongues whipped together in each other’s mouths. You managed to move so that he could get your panties down, but he only pulled them to your knees. He grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to the edge of the table, so close you thought you might fall off if he wasn’t right there between your legs. 

His fingers now slowly ran from your inner thighs to your folds. As soon as he touched you, you unlocked your lips from his and let out a shaky breathed whine.

“I can tell you missed me. You're so wet for me,” he whispered so quietly just for you to hear even though no one else was in the room.

You did your best to stay quiet as his fingers teasingly and slowly ran over your clit and back down to your cunt.

He lifted his slick fingers to his mouth and you watched with a slightly open mouth as he let them slide past his lips and then out of his mouth altogether, coming out more glossy from his spit.

“I missed the way you taste”

His even more wet fingers that now teased at your pussy were making you want to grab his hand and force it to do something more. You were practically shaking under even the slightest of his touches. You were nervous for someone to walk in at any given moment and all he was doing was drawing things out and letting his fingers kill precious time playing in your folds.

“I'd love to make you cum right now with my mouth” he pressed a kiss onto your neck where his face had been camping out while his fingers tortured you. “But I know how that makes you scream and we have to be very…” another kiss to your neck “very” his fingers finally slowly slipped into your cunt “very quiet.” his whispers tapered off to quieter and quieter, so much so that your shaking breaths felt loud between the both of you.

You were doing your best not to break out into full-blown moans so that maybe if someone walked in you could play it off as just talking or something else, as long as no one heard your moans on the way up the both of you could have time to look normal. 

His fingers curled inside of you with his palm grinding down onto your clit slowly.

“Oh God.” you breathed not knowing how you were supposed to survive this. He was all you wanted for months upon months and now that you had him here, tattooed hand knuckle deep in your pussy, his lips on your skin saying nothing but filth, you felt like you couldn't even let go as much as you wanted to, but you were trying.

His hand sped up its movements as you could feel how hard he was now in his jeans against the inside of your thigh.

Your lips squeezed together but it couldn’t stop the small whimpers he forced out of you. You could hear him breathing in your ear along with the wet sounds of your pussy. You were close but so scared. Doing this out in the open was such a thrill but it also made you paranoid. 

“Cum for me. I hear the way you’re whining, you’re so close I know it. Just cum for me. Cum around my fingers, no one will know.” 

You couldn’t stop it now.

You grabbed a hold of his shirt and forced his chest harder against yours, you wanted him closer, impossibly close as you came undone, clenching around his fingers rhythmically as each wave of pleasure pulsed through your body. 

He let out a little moan at the sound and feel of you coming. 

“I missed that too.” He whispered to himself before pulling his fingers out of you slowly.

He reached between you and you felt him quickly yet nervously fiddling with his button and zipper with his hand that wasn’t soaked in your wetness.

He made a show about taking his thick, veiny cock out of his pants and rubbing your juices from his hand over it. 

In seconds he was back in your ear.

“Can I fuck your brains out?” The whisper was soft, his voice was sweet but the words themselves were as hard as his dick he still stroked in his hand.

“You're always allowed brains out.” You whispered back “just do it.” 

You felt his head run over your folds teasingly as he continued to play with you and himself.

“Do you still think about me fucking your brains out?” He asked. You could hear how much wetness had spread from you to his cock with each pump of his hand.

“Every time I need to get off.” You admitted. “So give it to me so I don’t have to keep wishing anymore.” 

He pushed into you slowly, letting out a deep sigh and throwing his head back for a moment so you could see his perfectly sculpted throat.

You missed how full he made you feel while he was inside of you. 

He pulled out almost entirely, the head of his cock was the only thing left inside of you, pushing on your g-spot before the thrust back in hard. This was the way he fucked, pulling out almost entirely so his head hit where you needed it. You had experienced guys that just flopped around, but he knew you, he knew your body, he paid attention, he had a very special handcrafted way to get you off over and over until you were shaking.

One of his hands grabbed your hip while the other went to your clit to play with using his thumb.

“You miss this, baby?” You miss my dick between your legs?” His lips brushed with your parted and panting ones as he spoke.

You let out a whimper as you focused on your second orgasm, his hips were not letting up and neither was his lips that whispered pure filth.

“Want me to cum inside of you, make you not want to forget me and who you belong to? Right here on Jimin's desk.” 

Your eyes squeezed shut and you clutched at the fabric of his shirt as you were once again thrown into pure pleasure.

You couldn’t help it this time. The way he touched you, the way he felt inside of you, his grunts and words were all too much.

“Please, fucking cum inside of me, I want it all fuck you feel so good.” You cried out way too loudly. 

“Oh my god, fuck.” He breathed through pants as his hips pounded into yours. You felt him release inside of you. Your walls clenched around him upon hearing his long deep guttural moan. 

“I haven’t cum like that in…” he panted before letting out a little chortle of laughter “well in eight months.” 

“So,” there was a loud voice in the room making your heads turn and your stomach’s sink. “You fucked on my desk.” Jimin looked beyond angry as he sat in an office chair across the room with his phone in his hand, pointing it at the both of you. You had no idea when or how he had come in, but you knew you were both beyond physically fucked.

Jungkook had already scrambled to pull out of you and zip his pants back up as you jumped off the desk, pulled your underwear up, and smoothed out your dress.

“That's fine, I have you both on video. I really liked you y/n. Jungkook, Looks like I’m moving out.” he stood from the chair and headed towards the direction of the elevator. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to speak to our boss about this. He probably won't be too happy to see you two are breaking company policy.” 

“Fuck company policy and fuck you! You were an awful friend, roommate and you've always been jealous of me!” Jungkook yelled at him back.

“Not anymore, jobless.” Jimin turned back to give Jungkook a smirk before he stepped into the elevator.

With that, you were both just left there.

“I… I am so so sorry…” Jungkook began apologetically and just as stunned as you were.

“Don’t be, we’re too good for this job anyway, we can find new ones. It looks like you need a new roommate now though.” 

You watched his face as a small smile grew on it.

“Yeah, looking for someone prettier and nicer, maybe someone willing to be my girlfriend? I don't know though, I don’t want to make too many demands.” 

“Well I could meet all of those demands.” you played along. “We won't have to sneak around anymore.”

“Yes, please, yes. I uh- don't want to ruin the cute moment, but I think we should get out of here before Jimin brings the boss up.”

“Oh fuck, right. Uhh, we should probably just never come back too. Let’s just grab our stuff from our desks and make a run for it.”

“Let's go. You know, this is simultaneously the best, worst, most exciting, and most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me,” he said and you couldn't help but laugh and agree.

Maybe the both of you had made a big mistake, but perhaps there could be good that came from it. You had him back and honestly you didn’t feel too bad about trading your dumb job with its dumb company policy for him.

[mywritingonlyfans]

Angst fic with Damiano David

prompt: a angsty about reader being sad (dami bff) 'cause damiano doesn't feel the same way romantically. ps. there's a lot of victoria de angelis being a angel in this fic, and it's basically about reader going through it.

warnings: none? it's just a bit sad and longer than usual.

 All the soft touches still tingled all over your body. His scent was until now stuck to you, you never thought you’d feel happy to have woody essence along with cigarette smoke on you. 

 Folding the sleeve of his sweater, you put your tea in one of the cups you always use when you were there. His cotton piece was comfortable, making you didn't regret wearing it in the morning; it was cold and wearing your tank top from the night before didn't feel right. The shorts from yesterday, that were making your legs freeze were enough trouble for you to handle. The remnants of your clothes and belongings were collected from the floor of his room and placed carefully on his headboard, you made sure you were being quiet. Damiano has always been a heavy sleeper, but your counscious prevented you from risking disturbing him when he looks so peaceful. You had already spent much time at his place so you memorized where every thing in his kitchen - and others rooms - was; baking eggs and making tea wasn’t a mystery for you. You had even separated a Tylenol tablet for Damiano, so he could have it with his tea when he woke up with a wicked hangover. He wasn't the type to get drunk and forget what he did, nor were you. Since when you were teenagers, you have gone out and been drunk together a lot of times, and although your feelings were already present, nothing never happened. This time, however, alcohol helped injecting a dose of courage on him. Being honest with yourself, you didn't remember who started it; but the kiss in the midst of the loud music, his hand on the back of your neck, the exchanging glances while dancing and the moment he took you home, they were pretty vividly in your mind. You still felt relaxed, as if his sweaty body was still over yours. Minutes with your eyes closed was enough to feel his eyes roaming your body all over again.

“Hi,” he said in a slurred voice, cutting off your line of thoughts. You jumped, briefly scared but soon turned your attention to reality; a tired Damiano scratching his eyes in front of you.

He was dressed, wearing sweatpants and sweatshirt, duly comfortable according to the weather. 

 “Headache?” You knew he was. He was always a good drinker, he put up with it a lot, but he was never one to get rid of the effects of alcohol on the next day. You, on the other hand, got on better with this issue; fortunately from the night before, only the good moments remained with you.

“Yeah, a bit,” he giggled. “What a night, I’d say.” He added, in a lower tone. What was acceptable, you also felt a bit weird to be in front of him.

“I got you some pills,” you pointed it out to him on the counter, trying to maintain a normal behavior; with no shacking voice or sweaty hands. Quite impossible. “I made tea too.”

“Dear God, you’re a life saver!” He smiled at you, eyes crinkled and all of his perfect teeth on display. Contagious.

You grinned, feeling your body getting lighter. “No worries. I’m glad to help.”

“Y’know, when I woke up and saw that you weren't there I thought you were gone. You know? Friendship destroyed and that whole thing. I’m happy to see you; relieved.” He took a sip of his tea, and maybe a bit of your heart with it. You were an explosion of feeling when it comes to him, you always have been. “That sweater looks good on you, you can keep it if you want. You know that’s my fave one.” And, yeah, you knew.

The tension on you was no longer intense, comforting you to let out the breath you were holding. “It’s good to hear that,” Your genuine smile managed to say many things, you wished Damiano had noticed you earlier on other occasions. “Do you remember that one time, when we were younger, that you were a bit crazy about a girl; Alice was his name.” You stopped; in need of air - nervous - and watched Dami's attentive face. “She was the first person to whom you dedicated a song, you played it to her at school break. The cutest thing I had ever seen. I think it was there that I realized, a little jealous—“

“Y/N,” his voice had been almost inaudible, causing no effect. Had he really tried?

“How in love I was with you.”

His face was paler than usual, he was paralyzed; speechless. You had never seen Damiano like this, the men was always all over the place in a sweet talkative mess.

It took a few minutes for you to be able to read his expressions and realize how fucked up you were. The dose of happiness in your blood had been able to manipulate you to believe in what you most wanted to happen.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” your blood had gone up to your ears, all you could pay attention to was the pressure in your head. How had you thought that after one specific night he would suddenly decide that he was in love with you? After all of this time that you were just a good friend for him? “I’m truly sorry but I’m don’t—“

“Feel the same way?” You finished. He nodded, apprehensively. You have never felt so stupid. It was a mixture of shame, fear and insecurity. You were unable to look directly at him, you knew that there was no change in following a friendship after what you just said, much less after the night before. You had never been so screwed.

“I’m the one who should be apologizing, I shouldn’t have said a thing.” You whispered, realizing that the lump in your throat had turned into tears that you didn't even know were running down your face.

“Come here,” he opened his arms, walking towards your emotionless frame. You allowed yourself to melt in his grip. 

 Your tears fell freely; you could even try to hold it back but there was no strength left for you to think about it. Your crying was silent, as was the kitchen room. Your head was full of questions and cursing at yourself. Suddenly you wished Damiano had yelled at you, asked you to get out of there or said he wouldn't never speak to you again. It seemed easier to deal with it in this alternative way than to have him comforting you for loving him. “Shh, it’ll alright. I could never be mad at you.”

He talked about your friendship, but you knew that nothing would end up well. Maybe for him. But for you? It’d not be that easy. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I should have known better, you were so loving with me last night that I thought— Fuck, we slept together. Which I know isn’t your fault because I don’t even remember who—“

“Stop, Y/N. Look at me,” He was being careful. You were making a person like Damiano calculate his words, that made you feel like pure shit. You stopped talking, looking at him was still difficult. He understood that you wouldn’t be doing so. “That’s fine. I don’t feel bad about you liking me in that way, you’re wonderful. I don't regret anything, last night was great, but I just... don't feel the same. I’d never do anything to hurt you. I can't even imagine how hard it’s being for you right now.” His words sounded sweet and sincere. He had tears in his eyes as well. His ability to be so empathetic to everyone was something you loved the most about him. He was probably killing himself on the inside for breaking you.

You nodded, leaning on the counter. You wanted to ask him if he remembered that he was your first kiss at the age of seven or all the times he sent you vinyl records with some message - that he had written himself - inside the cover. How did he not feel the same, shouldn't you be everything he wanted?

“Dami?” You sighed. Your eyes were red, your face probably swollen. You then looked straight at him; that surprisingly wasn’t much better than you. “Have you ever looked at me and seen me in another way? Something more than just your best friend?”

He didn’t say a thing, just look at you standing there. You get it.

“I think I should go,” You broke the silence that had been formed. You thought about taking his sweater off, but since you weren't wearing anything underneath, you thought it was better not; you’d have to go to his room to change, and then pick up your things only to delay your leaving.

“I can drive you home,” he said in a hush, looking for his car keys.

“It’s okay, a walk will be fine.”

“It’s fucking freezing outside, I can't let you walk over there like that.”

You ignored what he said, walking around the house to the front exit. He tried to grab your arm just for you to step back.

“I know you're just trying to help, but I need to be alone right now, without you near me.” You tried to say it in the most normal way possible, you didn't want to be mean, you only wanted to be fair to yourself.

“Sure.” It was the last thing you heard him say before you left, feeling the cold wind on your body. You didn't know if he had entered his house again or if he was watching you hug yourself as walking slowly to somewhere. You wouldn't dare to look back.

--------------------------------------------------------

“C’mon girl, get up here,” Upon hearing the husky, strong voice, you were relieved. 

 Victoria wasn’t wearing her usual jewelry and looked like she had just been woken up by force. You weren’t as close to her as you were with the other boys, however, you had never been so happy to see her.

You got in her car. “Thank you,”

“God, you look terrible. You’re fine?” You looked at your reflection in the rearview mirror and well, fine was definitely something you didn't look like.

“Dami asked you to come and get me?” Your throat was scratching, it was difficult to speak.

“Yeah,” she looked at you quickly, but due to your discomfort she backed off. More tears would come. “He didn't say why though, he just said he needed someone to come to you before you froze to death.” She said it in a way that made you laugh, even with your eyes filled with tears. “Did the two of you have a disagreement? You don't have to answer me if you don't want to.”

“Something similar.” You said shakily; due to your crying and chilly. Inside the car was heated, but your body was so cold that it didn't seem to be enough. You tried to snuggle in the passenger seat, letting your head rest against the window like in a sad film. Maybe that’d help.

“Here,” she handed you a coat, without hesitation you took it. “I brought it to you in case you needed it.”

You nodded slowly. “Thank you, Victoria,”

“You can call me Vic, just like everyone else,” she laughed.

You gave her a half smile. “Okay then, thank you very much, Vic,”

The rest of the day would be crying while you curled up in your bed, you’d let yourself feel at your worst; promising that you would try and change that the next day.

———----------------------------------------------

You expected the first few days to be the hardest, but it seemed to get worse with each passing day. Damiano had tried to call you a few times and in all of them you responded dryly, using short words, pretending it’d be okay. You truly tried, but you needed time to process what happened. You told him that, and then time he gave you.

After completing a month of the incident, you noticed how 'dependent' you had become on him. He was always around since you were kids, any problem you had you would look for him to talk to, now you felt like you had nothing. Your friends were friends of his, too, more of his friends than yours. You missed having Thomas failing on teaching you how to play guitar on your couch and besides you thought about calling him - just to distract yourself - you remembered that he was more a friend of Damiano than yours. It’d be weird. None of them contacted you at that time, not even Thomas. You couldn't figure it out if Dami had told them what happened and they decided to give you space or if they just didn't care about you when you wasn’t around Damiano.

Basically, where Dami was you would be and vice versa. It had always been like that.

When you saw that just time wasn’t solving anything, you programmed yourself to live in a way that you were busy all the time. Your routine became work, home and most of the time taking the work to be done also in your home. You didn't feel energized to make new friends, and going out on dates could help momentarily but it wouldn't be fair to go out with someone in the ‘mood’ you were in; then these ideas were soon discarded. Sleeping was impossible, you spent hours rolling over in bed; both for the flashbacks that plagued your mind, but also for the fact that you missed him. The nights were worse when you visit your mother or when she called and said, "Dami never came to see me again." or something like. “Are you still talking to each other? We don't let someone like Damiano leave our lives.”

Deep down, you knew there was no way you could be in love with him forever and that no matter how much it hurt at that moment it would pass. You started to repeat it to yourself as much as you could, so when the boys got in touch with you again you didn't hesitate to answer. Nothing bad would happen, you just need to pretend to be fine. The first to send you a message was Thomas, with simple questions, he acted like nothing had happened, you liked it. Even though it was obvious that Thomas, as one of his boys, would know this in more detail than you did (which was a lie, but at least he knew how Damiano was feeling about it, which you wouldn't know). He updated you about Dami, who was great as always, and you said you were doing well when he asked. You answering him made Ethan talk to you too, although they were all polite and delicate, they seemed more to be sorry than to miss you. Pity wasn’t something you were expecting.

After five months, you still felt like crap. You had tried to stop counting the days that had passed since you last saw Damiano, but it was almost impossible. You could still remember that night vividly, but you were still trying your best to move on; leave it behind. Mysteriously, you wanted to see him, see how he was doing and find out if he had anything else to say but you were afraid to see him, go back to your place as his best friend just to realize that your feelings for him had not abated at all.

“...I haven't seen you in a while. I wonder if you're alright,” you heard when answering your phone. Your head hurt, your eyes stung. You had slept on spreadsheets that you brought home from your work.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Shit,” she murmured.

You looked at the phone screen. “Sorry Vic, I just woke up I'm still trying to copy.” You laughed to calm her down.

“I thought I didn't have my number,” her voice became softer, as if she was relieved that you had saved it. “I didn't want to wake you up, I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to know how you‘re doing, since I used to see you almost every day, y’know?”

You thought about saying that you saved her number the day Dami called to pick him up at a bar since his phone battery was dead and he was in no condition to drive, but Victoria clearly knew that. “Is Dami with you?”

“No,” her tone matched yours; Dami had told her, now she was being careful with her words. “I saved your number the day Dami needed to call you, in case I needed to call you again.”

“That’s alright, thanks for checking on me then.”

“But he would love to talk to you. He always asks the boys about you or comments on you so that someone can bring you up to the convo. He seems a bit lost when you not ‘round to be honest.”

Somehow hearing that made you happy. Still, the image of discomfort whenever you thought of talking to him scared you. The phone line was filled with silence, until Victoria's husky voice filled the line.

“Anyway, I didn't call you to talk about Damiano. We finally finished the album and decided to have a small celebration at my house,” you giggle at the formality. “We thought you should go, since you were present in more than half of the process. I‘d like you to come. We’d all like you to come.”

———

Your heart accelerated with each step you took as you entered Victoria's house. The rooms had a glow of being calm and the music that was playing helped to make the place cozy. The instrumental of the band reminded you of Fleetwood Mac, and for the little that you knew Vic you would say that the type of sound reminded you of her. 

 Her house wasn’t crowded, there were only a few people around; some you’ve seen before, some you haven’t. You thundered your fingers over some vinyl that were arranged in a corner, pretending to read them. You were looking for familiar faces, honestly even for Damiano, but for some unknown reason you didn't want to make that obvious. Your eyes captured Thomas talking to some girls, and soon you felt relieved to be dressed according to the occasion; or at least according to the girls who were close to Thomas. It didn't take long until he noticed you standing there, you waved and he came to you. He looked surprised, still he didn't wait for you to say anything else, just wrapped you in his arms so tight you had to ask him to let go in between muffled laughter.

“Vic working miracles! Come, I'll take you to the others.” He said in his cute form, holding your hand as guiding you through the house. “So, how's our best girl?”

Your lips parted in a smile. “I’m alright, pretty much the same to be honest,” there was no time for him to ask another question because you soon spotted Ethan and Victoria with their beers in hands. They seemed to be shocked to see you as well; and it was starting to irritate you for reasons you couldn't explain. Thomas put you behind him, hiding you from the two of them as if they hadn't seen you already. He was being such a sweetheart that he had even managed to soften the anxious butterflies in your stomach; but not enough to keep your mind free of worries and Damiano David. Thomas made a funny noise with his hands as Ethan ignored his attempt to be amusing, pulling you into a hug. Who would have thought you would have missed them so much.

“How long without seeing you, I force you not to do that again. Without you we are just another disorganized mess.” You laughed at his nonsense. Your smile was sincere, like it hadn't been for months, still you were forcing yourself a bit more to appear to be actually 'fine'. You’d like to know if they noticed, even though you were appreciating that they didn’t.

“No worries, I‘m not planning on leaving you guys alone.”

 Ethan and Thomas started to discuss about something, Ethan was already under the effect of alcohol, and from time to time they asked for your opinion on how Victoria had been strangely quiet. Atypical of her, but she didn't seem to be out of place or uncomfortable, just quiet.

“Did a cat eat the tongue of my newest attractive friend?”

“Not this time,” she showed you her tongue, and then smirked. Her eyes shone in differently way under your gaze and her make up was making her look more mature. “Are you feelin’ good? Thank you for coming.” Victoria was happy to see you, you could feel that. She might be curious, but pity wasn’t something possible to see in her; different from the other boys. “You must be tired of hearing that question, I'm sorry. It‘ll no longer be asked.”

Her voice was soft, comfortable to hear. “I appreciate that. I really have heard a lot of that, but despite everything, I feel good ‘bout bein’ here.”

“I feel even happier that you came then,” she put her hand gently on your waist. The other two didn't even remember you and Vic were there. “Let's get you something to drink, we bought that red drink Damiano always says you love.”

“No way, it’s bishop cocktail?” You looked at her, a big grin on your face, even though you remembered that this was the drink you were drinking when the universe decided it would be a good idea for you and Dami to have a one-night stand. Just a lovely reminder. “Have you mixed everything up? like the rum with the red wine? or with red drink you just want to say you bought wine?” You asked, ignoring your internal conflicts. Everything would be fine, you ket repeating to yourself.

“In fact, I remember once hearing you comment you didn't mind it being mixed up in a random bottle.”

She pulled a glass bottle out of a bucket full of ice and you couldn't believe she remembered that; given that you could count on your fingers the times that you had actually spoken to her. You didn’t avoid each other, just didn’t have much of the opportunities.

“Oh my god, that’s so fuckin’ lovely.” You whispered. She was quick to pick up a glass and hand it to you, filling it with the so well remembered liquid. You took a sip, and the taste - or alcohol - made your butterflies calmer. “Thanks for that, tastes like heaven.” She took a glass for herself, by her expression she thought it was a waste of rum. “C’mon, it’s not that bad.”

“If you think so, who am I to deny.”

“Don’t be a bummer,” you bumped your shoulder with hers, eliciting a cute sound from her that made you laugh as well.

You wish that sensation had lasted longer, even so when a random girl approached you to ask something, you felt heavy; like a sign. Her hair was golden in perfect waves and her face was angelic in an almost divine way. You might have been overreacting, but she was the type to catch all the attention to herself.

“You’re Y/N, right? I was startin’ to think that I’d never get to know you.” She hugged you tight and you wondered if she really didn't know you. When she released you, you felt your heart breaking right there in front of her. She was wearing Dami's sweater; the same one from that night, the same one that you wore. You wanted to be wrong, but you’d know that sweater from a distance even after years. “He talks so much about you. Can you believe we never met?” She asked, alternating her gaze between you and Victoria. She had been silent, you had forgotten that she was still there. Your head was miles away in thoughts, making you dizzy.

“Hi, Bella,” Victoria said. You remembered that name. Damiano talked about her on a few occasions, anyways he didn't seem to be in love - or you just didn’t want to see that. Maybe you haven’t been able to read him due to your stupid passion. “How’s everything?”

She started talking to Victoria and you couldn't concentrate on listening; all the alcohol in the world would not ease what you were feeling. How long have they been together? What was so special about her that Damiano gives her his favorite sweater? Were they together when you slept together? How did she end up with the same sweater you slept in that day?

She held the cup that was in your hands and handed it to Victoria. “Are you okay, hon’? You look a lil’ unwell. Do you want me to get you some water?”

“No need, I’m alright,” she patted your arm, and then checked your temperature. She was being nice, yet you couldn't pretend to be interested in being there anymore.

Thankfully, Victoria put an arm around your shoulders, asking if you want to join her to have a smoke. “It’ll be good, fresh air will do good to you.”

You agreed. Bella was worried and you felt bad about having to run away from her. She looked like an incredible person, sure Damiano was lucky to have her, that was just too much for you.

“Do this, you will feel better. We can talk later and so you can tell me everything about you and Dami, I’d love to hear you, since you’ve known each other for so long.” You looked for some irony in her voice, but you didn't found it. She was interested in you; after all, you were her boyfriend's best friend. It made sense.

Victoria guided you to the balcony, or at least halfway to it. Midway, someone stopped to talk to her, she tried to dismiss the person, however, as it was a thing related to the album, she would have no way out. “Victoria, it’s fine, I need some time alone.” You whispered to her, patting on her arm. She looked at you reluctantly, but understand. There wouldn't be much she could do for you.

Entering the balcony you felt an absurd urge to cry, your eyes itched and your legs were trembling. Was being in love meant to hurt this much, or was it just a game of chance?

You tried to take a deep breath, ease your heartbeats, telling yourself it was okay. You just needed to calm down. You leaned your body against the wall and watched the place. The plants near the fence - which you didn't know how Victoria had time to take care of them - the streets, and then the sky. Starry and moist, made for good memories that wouldn't come to you. When you felt ready enough to go out and face the party again, you ran into the one you were trying to avoid, Dami. Minutes ago you were anxious with the possibility to see him to know how he was, now you just wanted to run away and wipe these last months out of your mind.

“Y/N,” his body collided with yours while his arms wrapped around you, it was supposed to be a good thing, that you‘d feel safe as the same way you used to feel, except that was uncomfortable now. You couldn't even respond to his hug, for a second you thought you would escape without having to see him. He noticed and gave you space. “I swore that you wouldn't come. My god, it's so good to see you.” He ran his hands through his hair and you remained paralyzed in front of him.

You tried to focus on your breathing so that your voice came out without too many complications. “Yeah... It's good to see you, you look great.” It didn't work, your voice was shaky making your lie sound even worse. He looks great, you didn't lie, he seemed even happier and well rested. You wondered if it was because the album was ready or because now he had Bella.

You forced a smile, but unlike the others, Damiano knew you were acting. He didn’t judge or question, his face became tense, apprehensive. He knew that nothing was right.

“I thought about callin’ you more, goin’ to see you or something. The boys convinced me that it‘d be better not, that it could be even hard for you. I wonder if I shouldn't have done something different to help you because I know I fucked up too.” His hands were undecided between running through his hair and staying inside his pockets. He was nervous, at the same relieved to have spoken to you.

“It wasn't your fault, I’d never blame you for that,” you sighed, smiling slightly. It felt terrible to make him feel that way about it, but there wasn't much you could do. “I'm glad you gave me space when I asked, it's still hard to see you or think about talkin’ to you. It is as if everything that is tormenting me comes all at once.” It was good to say that to him. He nodded and you looked at each other for a while. It wasn't as uncomfortable as you thought it would be.

He was a few feet away from you while you were admiring the night, with your back against the wall. You wanted to leave, maybe go cry in your bed until you fell asleep, still you wanted things to work out with Dami, you wanted that tension and fear of seeing him to get out of your head. Despite that, if it was necessary to suffer in that process, it would not be worth it.

“She’s amazing,” it hurt to say that, but it was the truth. “Bella’s amazing, lucky girl.” You smiled sadly. Saying her name and seeing Dami smiling at that made you thank God for not seeing the two of them together, hugging or kissing. He‘d probably put his hand on her waist while she was talking to one of his friends or giving lightly kisses to her temple, just because he felt like it. Damiano was the cute type, you've seen it before.

“She is, an amazing person. She was all happy to have spoken to you. I told her all about our teenage years and how you always supported the band,” He had told her about you, would he have told her about you being in love with him? You thought to ask, soon giving up. It’d be shameful if so. “If I knew you would be here I’d not have come with her.” It made you think that he had told her.

“What would you do? Would you hide me from her for the rest of your life?” You sighed. it was supposed to sound like a joke, regrettably your voice sounded too cruel for that.

“It’s not like that,” he mumbled. “I was just tryin’ to think of you and—“

“I think I need to go Dami, it’s being too much. I’m sorry.” You needed to get out of there, you couldn't stop the tears anymore and you knew it was a bad idea to talk about her with him.

You took a few steps back just for Damiano to grab at your arm, without putting strength, just like a few months ago, to stop you in front of him. You turned your face away from looking at his eyes, feeling as the tears run down your cheek. You'd never be able to face him, this situation was only proving that to you even more.

“Please, Y/N. Just tell me what I need to do. I will do anything for you to talk to me again. I need you, you know that. The past few weeks have been a mess without you around. Even little my mom misses you. I’d do anything to have you back like before.” He was about to cry, his eyes shone with tears and it was painful to watch. He could do anything for you to stay; except what would make you stay. Unfortunately, it didn't depend only on his good will.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this,” you said in a lack of air, signaling the space around you with your finger. “But this, this is too much. It kills me to have to be close to you or to be close to things or people that remind me of you, seeing someone else with you doesn't help at all. I still think about the fact that we slept together... I can’t just forget it ‘cause it meant so much to me and to you, to you? it was nothing.” You were out of breath, you just wanted to cry in peace, put everything out until there was nothing left. 

 He released his hands of you, his face red and damp. It wasn't going to be easy for either of you. Time wouldn't matter; it wouldn’t change a thing because whenever you looked at him you’d wonder about how things could have been like if he had chosen you.

He whispered one more time that he was sorry, then let you go. He could have stopped you, but it's not like he knew what to do anymore. 

He watched as you walk out without even looking back.

——-

You went through the party walking fast, avoiding acquaintances and questions about why you were like that. Your body was heavy as well as your conscience. Outside the house the street was empty, the streetlights illuminated the sidewalk and along with the silence of the street you felt invited to sit there. You brought your knees close to your body, trying to breathe calmly. Pulling the air in, and then releasing it in a normal way. Your heart was beating so fast that your whole body was agitated. You tried to stay still. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling a little dizzy when you saw someone walk out the front door of the house. You dropped your knees, trying to look decent, but gave up as soon as the person came closer to you and you saw that it was Victoria. She sat next to you, pulling you into a hug. You were happy that she went to you.

“I’m fine,” you murmured, hugging her waist and hiding your face in the fabric of her shirt.

“Stop saying that you’re fine when you’re far from being fine, I won’t judge you sweetheart,” she comforted you, giving you a extra squeezing. You were far from being alright, but it helped, having someone there helped.

She placed her chin on top of your head, soothing you until your crying softened. She rubbed your back and whispered that it’d be okay.

“Did Damiano send you here?”

“No, darlin’. He said that you had talked, and then you had to leave, he didn't look well, I thought you wouldn't be either.”

“And then you decided to look out for me?” You laughed, still tucked in her warm arms.

“Yep, sounds like you need me, don’t you think?” She laughed too, causing the vibration of her chest next to yours make you feel taken in.

“Why’s love so painful?”

Victoria didn't answer, she was thoughtful for a few minutes, and then she stood up, holding out her hand for you.

“What?”

“I won’t be taking no as an answer, you’ll get in the car with me and we will do something, anything, drink milk shakes, fill up our bellies with pizza ‘til we can't take it anymore, or even rob a bank.” She held you by the waist, lifting you up for her. “Please,”

You didn't see why not to accept. There was nothing worse that could get even worse at the moment, maybe going somewhere would do you good. “Even rob a bank?” She nodded, pointing to where her car was.

A smile spreading across her lovely face as you realized you’d go anywhere she wanted with her. “Yes, even robbing a bank.”

[likeastarstar]

4:10 PM- Namjoon

You woke up from your nap because of the heat, the humidity stirring you from the dream you had been having. Just a normal dream, nothing out of the ordinary. A good dream- you hadn't had a nightmare since Namjoon had busted into your room one night with his laptop, declaring it was time for a vacation.

Before that, things had gotten a little...stressful. Life was hard, being an adult was harder. The first thing to go when you were stressed out was your sleep, starting with nightmares and ending with insomnia. Joon hadn't said much but noticed when your side of the bed was more messed up than normal, a clear sign that you had spent the night tossing and turning instead of in his arms.

Pushing up from the bed, you looked around the room for your boyfriend, only finding a disarray of clothes littering around the space instead. You had been here for a week, staying in a floating hut on the river bank of a small town in Thailand. It was private and secluded, you only saw spoke to other people when you went into the town a little ways down the beach.

You padded out of the hut, pushing the netting that served as a bedroom wall to go out to the edge of the hut, sitting down so your feet dipped into the water. The sun was just setting, but God, it must've been over a hundred degrees with this humidity. The water was cooler, so you pulled the shirt you had off and dove in, dunking your head in the practically clear water to prevent yourself from overheating.

"You're going to get eaten alive by mosquitoes if you stay out here for too long."

You swam back to the edge of the hut, your eyes falling on a familiar tall, tanned man with his hair cropped short after he decided it was too hot to have hair anymore and made you buzz it off. He had a water bottle dangling in one hand, the other shoved lazily in his pocket. Thailand Namjoon was your favorite version so far, abandoning button downs and formal pants in favor for shorts and a short sleeved button down shirt, the top four buttons undone completely.

"You're back," You said cheerily, reaching out a hand. He took it willingly, stroking the top of your hand with his thumb. "So what? Was it a bust?" You asked, referencing the reason he left in the first place.

"No, I got some writing done." he said happily, reaching for a towel for me. "You aren't wearing a swimsuit again, are you?"

You grinned and shook your head, pulling yourself out of the water unabashedly. Namjoon raised his eyebrows and skimmed his eyes over your body, a smirk settling onto his face. "You're very frisky tonight." He commented.

You pushed the towel away and stepped closer to him, flattening your body against his. "You knew the deal," You whispered, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and ran another through his hair, raking over it with your damp fingers. You didn't bother caring about being dripping wet, it wasn't like he was going to have clothes on for very much longer anyway.

He grinned, obviously knowing what you were referring to. You had made a deal, he would spend the day writing but when he came back- you owned him and his time. You had something important you wanted to talk to him about and you wanted his undivided attention for it. "Let's talk about this where the neighbors can't see your ass," he grumbled, wrapping you in the towel and lifting you back to the bedroom.

He set you down on the bed, watching you push the hair off your shoulders and adjust your towel delicately. "I'm ready," You said, looking up at him. Namjoon didn't say a word, searching your facial expression for a shred of doubt he wouldn't see.

"What if you regret it?" He asked sadly, looking down at his hands twisting themselves into a knot. You took his hand in yours and unwound his fingers, wishing he'd stop saying that.

"You're part of my soul, Joon. I want to marry you." You kissed him quickly, to reassure him. You wanted him and to be tethered to him in every earthly way was the only thing on your mind ever since he had brought the idea up conversationally three months ago. You had been so stressed out it had caused a panic attack initially- not because the answer was no, but because the idea of getting married was so overwhelming it was a lot to take in at the moment. You mind immediately went to how much change would be happening, skipping over Namjoon completely.

Not your finest moment.

"I want to marry you too," He smiled, his dimples melting your heart as they always did. "And we can do it our way, it can just be us and our parents, if you want."

You nodded and he mirrored your motion, and that was that. You were going to get married.

"We'll do it our way," I mumbled, looking up at him just before Namjoon cupped your face in his free hand and kissed you urgently, leaning into your body. You felt him push the towel down and off of you, resting a hand between your shoulder blades, and using it as a guide to lay you down on the bed. The place where he touched you tingled slightly, you head spinning like it always did when he kissed you.

"I can't wait to be your husband," He whispered to you, hovering above you slightly with his arms caging you in. You felt safe with him, anxiety soothed. Sure, there would be times were you'd be stressed out and scared and probably would freak out at some point- but at least you had him. You'd always have him.

masterlist.

(A/N: whimpers)

[harfanfare]

Snow White and Juliet

trigger warning: suicide and just whatever happened in Romeo and Juliet & Snow White but darker.

People tend to define different things with the same word.

According to some, the lack of life is simply death. Others include there people who do nothing but work. They have no love, no passion. Those who remain unmoved by the suffering of others. Heartless ones.

For one poison vendor, "lifeless" meant being unable to move, drink, eat, but think. Think for eternity about nothing, what is described harsher than real death.

◆◆◆

„Test 103 was accomplished with success.”

There is confusion in the experiment hall. Researchers run from monitor to monitor, all comparing unexpected, but desired results.

No errors in documentation. No lapses in research. No difference in subsequent attempts.

The team of researchers was cheering in awe: the antidote for one of the biggest poisons in Twisted Wonderland, the "Poisoned Apple", has been found.

It's time to wake Neige Leblanche up.

◆◆◆

The Leblanche Tragedy happened almost two years ago when many haters got to harras Neige and his fiancée, [Name], who just announced their relationship. You were meeting already for quite a time, and knowing each other even longer. It wasn't easy to break any of you by hate.

But it wasn't also easy to live with people, who despised you with all their heart.

"It's alright," Neige whispered, his fingers combing the hair of his beloved. His voice was tranquil and soothing as always, almost by itself vanishing every bad experience. "It will be alright. I will make sure it will be."

"I know. And I am always thankful for that," you replied, cuddling him even more. Neige scent was another thing that hadn't changed over years; it was still the same aroma of wild, but soft flowers and heartwarming sunrays. Another wonderful feature. "I love you, Neige."

"I love you too."

That was the last discussion you had before the disaster happened.

And it started from no one else than Vil Schoenheit, who wasn't even aware how his actions will take a completely another turn than everyone expected.

◆◆◆

"Will it solve it? The sleeping potion?" you asked, turning the vial in your hands. It was no bigger than your little finger, and the potion there was taking only half of the space.

Not so long ago, around an hour, you found yourself invited by Vil to a tea party. You couldn't figure if he had been struck by your "help me" aura or was searching for a company, but you ended up in gardens, staring at the porcelain pot in which the tea was brewing.

It favoured the first meeting you two had: the tableware with the same, old-fashioned flowery pattern and the rich aroma of tea leaves of Vil's choice. Only a plate with sweets and fruits was something new—it was hard to convince Vil to bring anything sugary and even harder to make him try it. He finally ate a small (microscopical, in your opinion) piece of hand-made shortcake, but that was all you could do to let him appreciate the sweet energy shot.

"I cannot guarantee anything," Vil replied, watching you examine the bottle's content. "But it may work. With an emphasis on 'may'," he added, tearing his gaze away. Vil was your dear friend, and even if he didn't approve of your taste in men, especially your pick for a future husband, you were close enough to have him help you come up with a solution. "Use it as a last resort. I... am sure you will be able to find a better, safer way. For example, dumping your fiancé."

You giggled, but both of you knew his proposition was impossible. You could never leave Neige.

"Thank you, no thank you," you answered with a smile. The only thing that didn't let it last longer, were your problems. "Again, I am indebted to you. Thank you for being the best and the best prettiest in my life."

Vil puts the tea away, its taste suddenly feeling bitter and hard to swallow.

"...Well then. [Name], don't be reckless."

"I will try my best not to. I promise."

◆◆◆

You found a solution.

If you were the reason which made people attack Neige on social media and not only, why wouldn't you just disappear?

Not for eternity. Only for a month, maybe a few weeks, until the turmoil would silence. You and Neige could get married this way, inviting no one else than the closest of the closest people for the ceremony. Announcing your marriage and fake death wouldn't be that much of a shock as many could assume. There is a field called effective business, and everything can happen under that name.

I know how reckless is that, you were writing your thoughts on a paper. Once the dwarfs you invited to yourself saw the letter, they would give it to Neige. And you two would no longer have anyone who could undo anything. But think about it, Neige! If we may finally be together, isn't it a great chance?

You reassured him in the letter that you would wake up after few days. You also highlighted that he doesn't have to use your plan and let you two fight against the darker side of Wonderland together. He could just let you have week-long beauty sleep and with a fresh mind, try to solve your problems by less drastic measures: the press or announcements.

Maybe you were only overthinking and complicating the situation too much.

Your most loving fan, [Name]

You signed yourself and closed the envelope.

Your gaze returned to the sleeping potion. I am exaggerating, you thought. Your plans could fit into a script of a good film but in real life? What you were about to do felt... irrational and foolish.

Maybe you would change your mind if not the rush.

Once you heard footsteps on the floor and your friends, dwarfs, calling your name, you knew it is time to make a decision.

You quickly unscrewed the bottle and put it in your mouth. The sweet, sleepy fragrance with a hint of rosemary sent you to a sleep that devotedly resembled a death. The crash and sound of breaking glass as you fell to the ground immediately alerted everyone in the mansion. You couldn't hear the accelerated footsteps, screams, cries and commotion that was going on over you.

Before anyone could think to do something other than trying to wake you up and calling the hospital, the letter with your plan flew outside the window.

That night you broke two things: the promise you made to Vil and a heart of Neige.

◆◆◆

The death of [Name], the fiancée of the most adored man in the world.

Marriage cancelled? The mystery behind the death of [Name] [Surname].

A Dead bride.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

Neige scrolled through the media, each article made his heart ache. He ignored a great count of calls and didn't manage to appear at your funeral in time.

He was a broken toy, who just lost its batteries. He was a wrack of what he was before. Beautiful on the outside, blank on the inside.

Wearing a dark, a bit too oversized suit, he laid against one of the roadside trees. He closed his eyes, trying not to focus on any people, buildings or sounds except his breath. It was slow and steady until he remembered why he tries to calm down; then he would choke on his breath, tears falling from his eyes and trying to not lose balance.

"Would you like an apple?"

Neige wiped his tears in a sleeve and slowly turned around to see an old lady behind a stall. It was ruined and seemed unattended for years. The counter was doty, wood softened and tore off in big pieces by the wind and rain. Between beautifully decorated shops and cafes, this stall seemed to be a remnant that no one ever wanted to touch.

"Thank you, but I am fine." Neige replied in his polite tone, but the smile he sent her looked like nothing near 'fine'. "I am not allowed to take anything from strangers, but that is really kind of you!"

"Not just a bite?" the lady continued, putting an apple on the counter. It was brown, slightly green, and Neige would never guess it was an apple. Maybe more like a rotten apple, but no one would say that this apple was unfresh. Adversely, it contained freshness, but not of the common kind. "Wouldn't you like to join your lover?"

Neige held his breath.

"You mean... to die?"

"What I mean has no value. You will understand it the other way, even if I tried to explain," she replied. Her voice was squeaky as she repeated the question the same enigmatic way she did the first time. "So, would you like an apple?"

"No, thank you..." Neige bowed slightly. He hesitated, before trying his best to speak up. "I- I think [Name] would hate me dying. Only if she could understand this too..."

"Maybe she did" the lady replied. There was conviction in her voice, and Neige couldn't help but take her words seriously. "Or maybe not."

Neige hoped you did. How he loved you and how your death changed him from the happiest man in the world, the saddest one. He didn't know why you took your life and why he didn't notice anything before. He regretted spending not as much time with you as he wanted to.

But nothing could be done to change the past.

"I will get going," Neige said. He glanced towards the old lady, who smiled at him and showed some of her lacking teeth. "And... could you fetch me this apple, please?"

◆◆◆

Once Neige's gaze settled on your figure, the world was immediately forgotten.

He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears much more than silence who was your only companion.

No flowers, candles and golden ornaments of the church could divide Neige's attention, as his pace fastened with every step he made towards you. He didn't hesitate to lock his fingers with yours. He squeezed them, wishing his warmth could reach you.

"[Name]..." he whispered, getting his face closer to your sleeping face. He gently removed the lost strands of hair from your face, not believing that you won't wake up anymore. As much as he wanted to, no mage in Twisted Wonderland could bring the dead back to life. At least not in human's form. "I love you so much. T-too much, I think. How can I live without... my life?"

He gave you one last 'farewell' kiss on the lips, his body next to yours. "See you soon, [Name]."

His expression is the softest one he ever wore, as he reaches for an apple.

He bit it.

And then 'died'.

No sooner than the poison completely took control of his body, you woke up.

"Neige...?" you murmured, bringing your hand to his cheek. The anxiety mingled with your thoughts once you look around yourself. "We are... in a coffin?" You sat. It required effort, after not using muscles for a whole week. By the time, you took a break, you conjectured what happened. You jerked your head around and let your hands cup your lover's face. "Ple-please, please, Neige, don't do this to me. Please."

He didn't respond and the bitterness you tasted when you kissed his still warm lips confirmed that he didn't use Vil's potion. He was poisoned, and the amount left on his lips wasn't enough to take you to the same place as him. "Why didn't left anything for me? Neige..."

Your eye caught the glimmer. You went closer to notice the dagger, resting on the floor. It wasn't that visible as the weapon would be, and until you were a step from it, you could see how thin the blade was. As edge as sturdy.

The fear paralyzed you, as you came back to the coffin. But the remorse and the sight of your lover's dead body were stronger. Your whole body was shivering, a tremor affecting you more than you could ever imagine, making you go mad. Insane.

With one sharp move, you dug the blade into your chest, scared and closing your eyes.

"I am a fool."

By the time anyone arrives, it is too late to rescue you or stop the poison coursing through Neige's veins.

◆◆◆

In the morning sun rises, and everyone in Wonderland wakes up.

It is also the first time in two years since Neige fell asleep.

He can't feel anything. He can't sense the flaxen shirt the doctors changed him in. He can't get his mind through the haze, that has been floating around his thoughts just after he drank the poison. He can't answer the calls of the doctors and his friends, dwarfs, who are gathering around his bed.

But he can open his eyes.

And once he does, the silence is overcoming. When the fact finally sinks in everyone's heart, a great cheer flies across the room. Some of the gathered give Neige comforting touch or reassuringly squeeze his hand.

It takes him some time to realize what is happening, why is he in the hospital room, why people are crying around him and why you aren't the first one he sees once he wakes up. His habit of kicking you while sleeping was something you complained and teased him about. Even if he didn't wake you in his sleep, when he was getting up, his knee would always hit your arm or stomach, waking you up and having you buck him off the bed as revenge.

What he also can do, except for trying to stay awake and catching things his visitors chatter around him, is to try to remember. He didn't lose his memories! It just needs some effort to get them back from the darkest recesses of his mind! And then to regret it.

A whole wave of memories hits him like a tsunami, not leaving him space to breathe and see anything else than chaos, now replaced by the memories of you two.

The kisses. The promises. The vowes. The proposal. The struggles. The tenacity to get over your problems. The plan. The dead body of yours.

He doesn't have to turn around to know that you aren't in a hospital bed beside him. He remembered some of the talks of his friends when he was sleeping. Now everyone is waiting for him to return.

"Neige! You've finally woke up, huh!" Che'nya chippers, his voice cracking at last words. He is relieved about the news and only bad Neige's condition stops him from throwing himself at his arms and spreading the revelation to everyone... No, not even Neige himself can stop him from the latter.

Neige wasn't going to stop him. His mind still replayed the "finally woke up" part, as if the film stopped at the most painful scene, then broke and started to replay the scene once again. And again.

He turned his head on the side, letting the tears run down his cheeks.

He really can't feel anything.

"That," Neige manages to whisper under his breath. It is the first time he tries to say anything, and grievously struggles to put his words together. "is- is... so cruel." Everyone stared at him in silence, the same way they did when Neige and his dead lover were found. His cry brings tears to everyone's eyes, having many people bow under the weight of sorrow and put a hand over their lips to not let themself break again. "I didn't want to wake up..!"

[maddieinwonder]

Bait & Switch

Spencer Reid x GN!BAU!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None, super fluffy 

Word Count: 3.5k words 

Plot: Reader reveals that they’re going to buy a Nintendo Switch so Spencer invites them to go together with him. In the process, some feelings reveal themselves.  

Author’s Note: My first time writing about Spencer, and actually, my first time writing a fic in a long time haha. Just imagine that this takes place in 2017, although you don’t have to know anything about the Switch in order to read this.

Masterlist

-------------- 

"What's got you in such a good mood, baby?" Derek asked, leaning over his chair. Even without looking up, you could feel the smirk that decorated his face. After almost a month at the BAU, you didn’t need to be a profiler to expect this much from Derek. "Got a date this weekend?"

You tried to focus on your paperwork before relenting, rolling your eyes. Still, you couldn't hide the smile in your voice when you shot back a reply. "With this job? You wish, Morgan."

"Give yourself some credit, beautiful. With your looks I'm sure you could score a good looking fellow for a night you won't forget."

"I'm sure you would know all about that," you replied, this time grinning from ear to ear.

Ever since you joined the BAU, your seat has always been across Derek Morgan. The guy was a terrible flirt but also one of the most trustworthy people you knew, so you couldn't keep up a sarcastic mood for long.

"Actually," you replied genuinely, "I'll be lining up this weekend to buy a Nintendo Switch." Out of the corner of your eye, you could sense Spencer stiffen in his chair next to you.

"A what switch?" Derek asked, his face scrunching up in confusion.

But before you could begin to reply him, Spencer rolled his chair over and opened his mouth. The both of you knew what was coming.

"The Nintendo Switch. A video game console developed by Japanese company Nintendo that's completely one-of-its-kind, on account of its console functioning like a tablet that can either be docked on a home console and linked to a TV, or used as a portable device with two wireless controllers so you can..."

Not being able to help yourself, you giggled at his info dump. You've always admired how much knowledge he could store in his big brain. But more importantly, you thought he was kind of cute like this. A fire would light in his eyes and it seemed like the world around him ceased to exist.

You only realised you were staring at Spencer when the last bits of his question registered in your mind. "...you going to?"

Blinking your eyes, you snapped to attention. Derek seemed to notice, because you felt his signature smirk return to his face.

"Which store are you going to?" Spencer repeated the question. Anybody else might be annoyed, but he only seemed mildly restless. A rare look for the unathletic genius.

"I'm going to the one three blocks down from here," you replied.

"So am I!" Spencer sat upright in his chair, beaming. You think that this is the most excitement he's expressed to you since you joined the BAU.

Then his confidence seemed to waver. He began tugging at the edge of his sleeve, eyes glancing to the side at nothing in particular when he asked, "W-would you like t-to go together?"

A smile spreads across your face before you can stop it. "Sure! Sounds like fun."

Spencer grinned back, and there was a moment of silence before Derek interrupted the conversation that he began. "Well, I'll leave you and lover boy to plan your date. I'm going to spend my Friday night at the bar."

Your heart thumped involuntarily at the word "date", while Derek turned to Emily. "Hey Prentiss, you want to grab a few drinks and dinner? I'm sure I can get the others to leave work for one night."

"Anything's better than this," Emily shrugged, lifting her mug of already-cold coffee.

Standing up to retrieve her bag, she smirked at you and Spencer, having heard more of the conversation than she let on. "Have a great weekend, you lovebirds. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

She and Derek shared a laugh as they moved towards the Batcave to retrieve Garcia next.

As you watched them go, you feel Spencer's eyes on you and a flush warming your cheeks. You knew they were just teasing you with the word "date", but the truth is you've liked the genius almost as soon as you met him.

You may not have an eidetic memory, but you could still remember the flutter of butterflies that exploded in your chest when you first laid eyes on Dr. Spencer Reid.

He had waved from a comfortable distance, the other hand tucked in the pocket of his dark slacks. He towered over you easily with curly locks that barely touched his sweater vest, and you swore you've never seen anybody more attractive in your life. His intelligence only added to your attraction. 

"Shall I pick you up at 7am tomorrow?"

You turned back to Spencer, who seemed even more nervous now that everybody in the bullpen had left. Yet what he was proposing was rather bold compared to his usual behaviour.

“Pick me up?” You repeated.

“It’ll be easier to find a parking spot that way, and the weather report predicts that tomorrow will be a sunny day, so I know you’d rather not walk three blocks to the store.” He rambled nervously.

“You know me well, Spencer.” A cheeky smile snuck onto your face, and in a moment of false bravado, you said what was on your mind. “7am. It’s a date, then.”

Spencer’s face turned beet red.

You didn’t wait to dwell on his reaction, dumping the last of your paperwork into a pile and picking up your bag. But as you walked to the elevator, you couldn’t help yourself from grinning ear to ear. It was a date. Kind of.

-------------- 

You couldn’t sleep. You had gotten home earlier than usual, but the extra time to plan for your “date” tomorrow proved to be a bad idea.

What would you wear? What would you talk about? Should you extend it to a meal, or dessert, or maybe coffee?

Although you were confident in the moment, you were beginning to regret teasing Spencer before you left. You’d known him long enough to know how he reacted to embarrassment, and there’s a good chance he might back away because of your forwardness. 

You groaned, trying to get these thoughts out of your head. The reality of the "date" was sinking in now. This would be the first time that you and Spencer would be alone in a non-work setting. To say that you were nervous was a gross understatement. 

But there was something worse than showing up nervous, which was showing up nervous and sleep-deprived, so you turned off your bedside lamp and tried to will yourself to sleep. That's when your phone began to buzz.

You were so on edge that the sound almost made you fall off your bed. Turning over your phone, your heart leapt to your throat.

Spencer, 2:03am: Sorry to disturb you when it's so late, but I realised I don’t have your address. Could you send it to me when you're awake?

You gulped. Just relax, just relax, you repeated in your head.

Me, 2:05am: It’s alright, you didn’t wake me up. I’ll attach my address below.

Spencer, 2:06am: Thanks. Having trouble sleeping?

Me, 2:07am: A little

Spencer, 2:08am: Me too.

What was I supposed to reply to that? You silently screamed. But it turned out you didn't have to figure it out.

Spencer, 2:11am: To be honest, I'm a little nervous about tomorrow.

Me, 2:13am: Why?

Spencer, 2:15am: I suppose it’s because we've never spent any time alone before.

Hearing the genius act so shy made you feel a little more brave.

Me, 2:16am: Well, I'm looking forward to the chance

Spencer, 2:17am: I am too.

Despite your nerves, you smiled at his small confession.

Spencer, 2:19am: We should get some sleep.

Me, 2:19am: I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night, Spence

Spencer, 2:20am: Sweet dreams.

Your anxieties were washed away and replaced with the biggest smile on your face. Without knowing it, Spencer’s words rippled a sense of calm over you, and you fell asleep shortly after. 

The next morning, you woke up with a newfound clarity. You knew what you were going to wear. 

-------------- 

Spencer couldn't stop tapping the edge of his steering wheel. He knew he was nervous, and admitting it to you last night didn't do much to stop that fact from eating away at him.

He texted you 3 minutes ago that he was waiting outside your apartment, but you hadn't replied. Although he knew that there were plenty of logical reasons why you might have missed his text, his hands didn't stop itching to call you and see if you were alright.

Then out of the corner of his eye, you emerged from the corridor and he felt his heart speed up.

You were wearing a blue flannel that he'd never seen you in before with a pair of dark jeans. Your hair, which you usually kept in a up-do at work, was let down in waves, touching your shoulders. And then there was the pièce de résistance, you were wearing a Doctor Who t-shirt with the TARDIS on it.

Hook, line, and sinker.

He didn't break his gaze on you the entire time you got into his car. Even when you beamed at him and wished him a good morning, a small yawn escaping your perfect lips, he was completely tongue-tied.

"Earth to Spencer," you called out, looking up at him curiously. "You there?"

Spencer shook his head suddenly, cursing himself internally for being such a doofus. "Sorry, uh, I was distracted. Good morning." He smiled sheepishly, tucking a stray hair strand behind his ear.

"Anyway," he cleared his throat. "I was thinking we could grab some coffee before we headed to the store? We can make it quick. I know there'll be some people already lining up."

He peeked at you rubbing your eyes and thought it was the cutest thing he's ever seen. “Looks like you might need it," he said without realising he'd just flirted with you.

You giggled, lowering your hands from your face. "Sounds great." 

-------------- 

Spencer wasn't lying when he said it'd be quick, although in truth you could have taken all the time in the world and you would still be happy. The initial awkwardness between you washed away almost immediately as you fell into a quiet conversation about your favourite Doctor Who episodes. 

You wanted to commit the sight of him driving in the morning to memory. The sun had just rose, lighting a gentle halo around Spencer’s messy hair and sculptured face. He was wearing a bigger sweater than usual, the sleeves hanging around his wrists loosely. While his eyes were focused on the road, his lips parted slightly as he softly bantered with you about David Tennant. 

You felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and kiss him despite the driving hazard. And despite the fact that you’ve never kissed him, of course. But you could hope. And hope you did. 

Your hope had grown when he parked in front of the coffee house you’d once mentioned was your favourite. Spencer made your coffee order perfectly and you had found yourself hoping that it was because he’d paid extra attention to you, and not because of his brilliant memory. 

And when you reached the video game store and he opened the door for you, you hoped it was because he wanted to make a good impression, not only because he was a gentleman. 

And when he stood between you and a video game rack in line, you hoped that he was trying to shield you from the other people in the store, and you hoped that he was thinking of pressing you against the rack and kissing the daylights out of you. 

You needed to get a hold of yourself. 

The conversation had swapped to the reason why you two were here in the first place, and you found yourself talking to Spencer about Breath of the Wild, a game that brought you back to fond memories of your childhood. 

“The Legend of Zelda was the first video game I ever played, on the first console I ever owned.” You shared, smiling fondly. “It was the video game that my brother and I bonded over, and we bought every game together since.”

Spencer nodded in rapt. You felt him leaning closer to you, although it may have been your imagination. 

“This is actually the first time I haven’t been with him for a new game,” you realised. “Due to our jobs, we haven’t seen each other in awhile, but we still text each other!” You tried to end on a lighter note, not wanting to bring the mood down on this “date”.

Spencer looked at you as if he wanted to say something, but he kept his lips shut. 

“What about you? What was your first video game?” You threw the question to him, trying to divert attention away from your sad-enough story. 

He blushed in response to your question and looked down at his black converse. You noticed he began touching his sleeve in a familiar motion and you looked at him suspiciously. “Spencer?”

“W-well, the t-truth is, I didn’t actually c-come here to buy a Switch, and I don’t play video games at all.“ The last part of his sentence came out rapidly. You might have missed it, if you weren’t already used to the tongue twisters he spit out on a daily basis.

“What?” You exclaimed a little too loudly, causing the other shoppers in line to glance at you weirdly. “Then... Then what are you doing here?” You said quieter this time. Your eyebrows furrowed as your mind scanned the possibilities. 

“W-well, I, uh, wanted to spend time with you,” he blurted out. He raised his eyes to meet yours, his face completely red.

It was your turn to be flustered now. Your voice was quiet and you could feel your hands shaking. “Is this a date, Spencer?” 

“Only if you want it to be, I mean, I want it to be but your opinion matters to me, and I wouldn’t want to bring you on a date if you didn’t want to. We can just hang out like friends if that’s more comfortable--” 

You grabbed his free hand, gently lowering it from where it was moving as he rambled, until your fingers were intertwined. 

“I would like it to be,” a large smile took over your face. You were a little teary despite how weird it was to confess your feelings for him in a video game store of all places. 

Spencer was quiet for a moment, squeezing your hand in return. “Would you like to go for lunch after this? As a date,” he clarified this time. 

"I would love that,” you beamed at him, “as a date.” 

-------------- 

Spencer had always imagined the kind of girl he would fall in love with. Caring, intelligent, had an appreciation for classic literature, maybe. But when he saw you for the first time, every expectation he held flew out of the window.  

You were beautiful. Wavy dark hair tied into a high ponytail, wearing a navy shirt, and funnily enough, a beige cardigan and black converse. Morgan joked that it was like meeting Spencer 2.0, but he disagreed: the two of you were worlds apart. 

You were incredibly tech savvy, although not as much as Garcia, but certainly more than the rest. You loved the smell and taste of coffee without sugar. You were happy to hug everybody you met, from colleagues to victims. You didn’t like paperback so you read everything on a Kindle. 

But the biggest difference between the two of you, was that you were emotionally intelligent. 

All of your brilliance, combined with your PhD in psychology - having worked as a psychiatrist affiliated with Sex Crimes before joining the BAU - you were able to pick out the team’s moods from a single glance. It’s what endeared everyone to you immediately, and what made you such a great profiler.   

But the way you treated him was different. You just, listened to him. While everyone else had gotten into the habit of cutting him off or simply ignoring him when he opened his mouth, your eyes would light up instead. 

He could always tell you were listening because you would look into his eyes when he spoke, and you would ask him questions after he was done. 

It made him feel like the world around him ceased to exist, except for you. 

So he started studying your interests to grab your attention, trying to throw in a few jokes hoping to see you smile. It only took one month for him to seize his chance. Still, never in his calculations did he think you would say yes. 

He smiled at the thought, stroking your hair gently as you cuddled on the couch together, watching you play Breath of the Wild. 

After a more than successful first date, you had asked him to come over the next day to spend more time together. A month ago, he would have politely declined with an excuse like needing to read a new academic journal, but when he arrived at your doorstep he allowed himself to be drawn into your arms, relishing the giggle he earned as a reward for being hugged. 

“Damn it,” you grumbled quietly as you ran out of stamina scaling a cliffside for the fifth time.

Spencer laughed. Without a second thought, he pulled you closer and kissed the top of your head. 

In the background Link fell off the cliff once again, the game playing a sound that he came to recognise as Link dying. But there were no curses this time, as you had turned to look at Spencer, nothing but adoration in your eyes. 

“That was our first kiss,” you said so quietly and sweetly that Spencer’s heart melted at the sound of it. 

“First?” He took his chance, leaning closer. “You know, the usage of the word ‘first’ almost always implies that there will be a ‘second’ and a ‘third’ and a...” 

His voice trailed off as your fingers left the controller to touch his lips. Your touch was intoxicating and he wanted more. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Spence,” you started, lifting your finger from his lips. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you-” 

“Don’t be sorry,” he managed to get out in a hurry before capturing your lips in his. He felt your astonishment at first, but you quickly lost yourself in the kiss as he brought his hands up to cup the sides of your face, deepening the kiss further. 

You finally broke apart after awhile, both panting for air and smiling widely. Spencer never thought he could be so lucky. “That’s the second one,” he said quietly, bringing up two fingers to indicate the number. 

You looked at him with love in your eyes and abandoned your controller on the table before throwing yourself at him, flattening the two of you against your couch. 

“Ready for the third?”

-------------- 

Derek Morgan wasn’t an idiot. That’s why he could tell that something had changed over the weekend between his desk mate and boy genius. 

The two came into work together on Monday morning, which was weird in itself, but they also took every opportunity to stick to each other, from coffee breaks to disappearing for lunch and “asking” about paperwork. 

When they vanished for the umpteenth time that day for coffee, Derek leaned over Emily’s desk to confirm his theory. 

“It’s not just me. Pretty boy finally made a move, didn’t he?” He cocked an eyebrow. 

“Definitely. Those two are so obvious that even Hotch has picked up on it. From his office.” She quipped, grinning as her eyes moved to the scene behind Derek. “Speak of the devil.” 

Entering the conversation, Spencer did what he did best. “Did you know that ‘speak of the devil’ is the short form of the idiom ‘speak of the devil and he doth appear’? The phrase can be traced back to the 16th century when mentioning the devil was considered prohibited. In fact, when people were caught saying the phrase--” 

Derek caught your eyes drifting to look adoringly at Spencer. He couldn’t take this anymore. “So what happened between you two last weekend, huh?” he interrupted, smirking. 

Your reaction was better than he gambled. You turned a bright red and your eyes darted between Spencer and Derek in panic, truly flustered for the first time since he’s met you. But Spencer was strangely calm, his eyes travelling from his best friend to Emily in the background trying to stifle her laughter, while a small smile tugged at his lips. 

“We’re dating now,” he announced to the two a little triumphantly, while rubbing your shoulder as a peaceful gesture. 

Derek and Emily were stunned by their friend’s directness, only to be shocked out of it as Hotch walked by. “Finally,” he muttered, loud enough for them all to hear. 

You were the first to crack a smile, then the rest followed suit with laughs and congratulations. Hearing the uproar, Garcia and JJ peeked out of their rooms, joining in and demanding more details about this new but not entirely unexpected development. 

Amidst the chaos, Spencer laces his hands in yours and gives it a squeeze. For the first time in a long time, you feel unequivocally, unmistakably happy.