#I wish I'd just been pessimistic all along

[leihaddock]

Someone get Steve Rogers on the line. We need him to punch some more Nazis

[mxrcurysb1tch]

Rating my astrology placements (and yours... maybe)

Inspired by @abyssalfaith

Cancer venus- 8/10 I feel like I feel this one quite strongly. I fall in love (or the idea of it lol) quite quickly and I can really romanticise people. I can't always tell if I am in love with someone or just really admire them platonically, which is a bit confusing ngl. I can never have a crush on more than one person at once. I have so much empathy and love for my friends and I'd genuinely do anything for them. I think there is so much beauty in longing and just emotions in general. ALSO I am obsessed with the friends to lovers trope.

Gemini rising- 9/10 Honestly if it wasn't for this placement I'd be the biggest freaking recluse ever. I literally have to give my opinion/share my experiences on everything especially online lol. I find socialising very exciting. My mind is all over the place and I have so many conflicting thoughts at once. Very adaptable, good at blending in with social situations. Having a broad knowledge of a lot of things is helpful too but sometimes I struggle when it gets too specific. I luuuurve being percieved as witty and funny. Sometimes I find it difficult to calm down or to focus on one thing. ALWAYS losing, dropping, forgetting stuff. INDECISIVE AF and childish in a good way.

4h Stellium- (sun, mars, mercury, jupiter) 6/10 Honestly have a love/hate thing with this one. I have such a weird relationship w/ my family, especially extended family. I love my home and I feel deeply connected to it, especially that I've lived in the same house all my life. My home is a sanctury to me and I want it to be as cozy as possible. Being an only child, it has always been my dream to grow up and have a fairly big family, 3-4 kids.

Capricorn moon- 7/10 Sometimes I wish I was more able to be soft. I am very nurturing but in my own way. So loyal and steady and reliable and strong but people don't always appreciate these things. Emotional nurturance growing up was almost non existent. Very sensitive underneath. This placement is kind of like an armour. I have to say though, although I am very dedicated to my work and use it to avoid my feelings, I have never met a capricorn moon that wants a corporate job and is the stereotypical 'workaholic'. We're actually susceptible to getting burnt out pretty easily. Very cautious even when I was a kid, hate taking risks. The pessimistic thing is absolutely true though, we're just good at hiding it.

2h venus and saturn- 8/10 I have never really had to worry about money which is great. Tricky relationship w/ food for most of my life but I really do love it and use it as a comfort.

8h moon- 5/10 This is a placement that everyone knows sucks. And yeah it kinda does especially as a child. Financial and physical support, big inheritance from family but basically no emotional support at all (+ capricorn so you can imagine). Guilt and other very heavy emotions imposed by family. BUT I do feel like this is a very baddass placement. I can feel the energy of people and places without even having the words to describe it. I have become very good at knowing who is good for me and who is not. I can always see things coming ages before it happens. Doesn't mean I listen to it though LOL so I am always disappointed but never surprised.

Leo mercury (retrograde) 6/10 Oh man. Having mercury retrograde is interesting. Leo mercuries are funny and bright and communicate with 'flare' I feel like. And while I do this to a certain extent, it can get a bit convoluted along the way. I am a pretty entertaining storyteller, I talk fast, I am pretty dramatic (outwardly at least) and I love making people laugh and love talking. I dislike small talk, I just kind of find it boring and pointless and kind of uncomfortable at times but I can do it fairly well, its not like I don't know how to, I would just prefer not to. (I feel like being a gemini rising kind of counteracts some of the issues I have with mercury being rx in my chart). Im very introspective but I think about myself way too much, too much internal jumbled dialogue, like pls just SHUT UP. Growing up I LOVED being on stage and I would still probably be doing it had life not taken me down a different path.

[now-that-i-saw-you]

I've been listening to folkmore and I noticed each track contrasts its sister track on the other album

Track 1: wishing a great love would've lasted forever vs wishing a great love will last forever

Track 2: a girl who was left vs a girl who had to leave

Track 3: a biographical story of a real person, a life that happened vs a life (and a love) that never happened

Track 4: meeting an ex-lover and either walking out or letting the moment take you and rekindle the flame even if it's just for a weekend

Track 5: walking out of a loveless relationship vs staying in one. There's also something to say about how the speaker in my tears richochet is so much more active. "When I'd fight you used to tell me I was brave" or "I didn't have it in myself to go with grace" vs "I sit and watch you"

Track 6: this is a little hard for me tbh. Could be about killing parts of yourself to change and please others vs killing someone for your own desires ('cause Este's husband didn't really need to die it was just revenge).

Track 7: childhood love that lasted forever even if the two are no longer in contact vs adult love that didn't last. "Hit my peak at seven" vs "it's the price I pay for seven years in heaven. Accepting change vs struggling to accept change

Track 8: a love that was never yours vs a love that used to be yours. "You were never mine" vs "you know, you'll always know me"

Track 9: trying to fix your mistakes vs regretting not fixing your mistakes soon enough

Track 10: the mistress vs the cheater. A love affair that kills you vs a love affair that brings you back to life.

Track 11: they're both so similar, looking at the past and what brought the speaker and her lover together. But invisible string is happier and more "naïve" whereas cowboy like me is a little more pessimistic "all along there was some invisible string tying you to me" vs "forever is the sweetest con"

Track 12: "my cannon's all firin' at your yacht" vs "I dropped my sword, threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door"

Track 13: her grandfather vs her grandmother. epiphany tells the story of the moment her grandfather lived in WWII while marjorie is taylor recounting her memories with her grandmother

Track 14: not being able to give your partner peace vs your partner giving you peace. I'd never give you peace, I'd always make things hard for you vs you saved me, you were the light at the end of the tunnel when things were hard

Track 15: "this has frozen my ground" vs "did you hear about the girl who got frozen?"

Track 16: wanting time to stop moving vs knowing when it's time to move on

[jezabatlovesbats]

Alright, fine. I’ll talk about Wish.

Here are some ideas I had for how I’d redo it. It might be bad, but I’ll give it a shot. Here goes nothing…

- I would've changed the title to something like The Wishing Star, or The Kingdom of Wishes, or Asha and the Wishing Star. 

- I'd keep the 2D-3D animation blend. I can see why they'd want to go with that. It's like, a nod to all eras of the Disney studio's animation. But, it would look better however possible. 

- I think we should redo the entire soundtrack to make it way less pop. The best movies from the studio have Broadway-ish soundtracks. I've read on YouTube comments and such that it's better for musicals to focus on the story and themes and not pop replay-ability. Not every song needs to peak on the charts like We Don't Talk About Bruno did. (We can probably keep At All Costs, though.) 

- For the soundtrack, I would have taken a similar approach to the SpongeBob Musical, where each of the songs are from different songwriters they’ve worked with. Like, one song from Lin-Manuel, one from the Lopezes, one from Alan Menken, etc. As I saw in one comment, they could even bring in Elton John and Phil Collins. Another way I would’ve done it is have all of them collaborate on the soundtrack together. That would have been impactful. 

- Definitely change the designs of the characters, the architecture and backgrounds of Rosas, and the music so that they better represent the Iberian peninsula/Andalusia. There's so much to work with from that area. Some of the characters' names can be changed to better fit the area, too. But I'm not from that area, nor am I of that heritage, so I'm not sure how that would be done. 

- The name of Rosas can also be changed so that it fits in with the theme of stars and wishes. I was thinking something along the lines of Estrellas. 

- What kind of a name is Magnificent? I thought of changing King Magnifico's name to something like King Maximilio. He can be called Maximilio the Magnificent (Maximilio el Magnifico). 

- I was thinking that Asha is his and Amaya's adoptive daughter. 

- The major supporting characters would be Star (as that shapeshifting humanoid being), Dahlia, and Sakina, who can be Asha's (biological) aunt.

- I'm not sure if Valentino would be there as well, honestly. 

- @annymation’s rewrite had the king and queen have a pet bobcat, and I think that's cool! I think they could have an Iberian lynx or something!

- I like the idea of Asha having a human friend group, and I understand basing them off of the 7 dwarves. While I've heard people say that there doesn't need to be so many of them, we could possibly make them all work. We've just gotta give them more recognizable character traits and more to do in the story. (Off-topic, but Bazeema looks like an OC I would make.) 

- I'd also keep the beginning of the movie having a storybook being opened and read from. But, what I think I'd want is for there to be some opening credits with a song, like in Cinderella and Alice in Wonderland. The prologue song can be about, well, starlight and wishing or whatever. 

- For the actual plot of the movie, and for Asha and Star's dynamic, I'd have it be pretty similar to these ideas because I have none of my own: 

^ Read the description.

- My ideas aren't exactly like these, of course. They're, like, adjacent to these. Do you understand what I mean? 

- Anyways, Rosas (or whatever it's called) wasn't founded by Maximilio and Amaya. It's been there. They're just the current rulers of the place. It's painted as this happy, colorful place where all of your wishes can come true just like that. You can do anything or be anything you want to be. 

- I wouldn't make Asha pessimistic. I'd make it so that she's living idyllically in her kingdom, which, like I said, is marketed as the world's greatest kingdom or something. But then, she learns the hard truth about the way it's run when she hears of the people's untold suffering. 

- Sabino can be a poor old man that Asha meets, and he can be her very first encounter with someone who knows the truth about what's going on. 

- Basically, there's a false sense of equality and equal opportunity at play in this kingdom, and the rulers don't care about what the people want and won't do crap about the kingdom's issues. It's basically this, except it’s actually happening.

- So, when Star is summoned down, Asha hopes he'll be able to fix everything in a snap because her parents told her the stars were capable of anything. But, he can't do that. He, of course, helps her on her journey, and she challenges her parents, who aren't who they claim to be and all that. 

- A scene where Asha's friends and Sakina explain their wishes would probably be good.

- Maybe the rulers colonized the stars. Like, they exploited them and their power to only benefit themselves, and that has a really negative effect on them. So then maybe, when Asha wished on the stars, they saw it as a chance to save them, and so they sent down Star. 

- So Asha feels like her happiness is tainted because of what she knows now, but she keeps her mind open and tries to fight for a better future where all the people's wishes can come true.

- When the rulers are defeated and the stars are free, Star wants to stay with Asha because they've caught the feels for each other. It's kind of a Ponyo-like ending because Star has to give up his magic in order to do that. Maybe he could change his name to something like Aster or Esteban. 

- When he becomes human, he sends his magic up into the sky, and it takes the form of the wishing star. It's there to remind people that the stars will be there to guide you, and they'll help anyone in need.

- The theme I had in mind for this is like, No one’s wishes can really come true unless we’re all truly free to make them. In other words, don’t be greedy or ignorant and actually care about people. 

[wheelin-after-midnight]

24.

What was the last thing you spent a lot of time thinking about?

Having to move and all the life changes that are gonna come with that. :/

What do you think about astrology/the zodiac? If you used to believe/not believe in it, what changed your mind?

It's not necessarily that I don't believe in it. It's fun to read about and look into every now and then, but I'm not gonna put a ton of weight into an astrological chart or horoscope to the point that it majorly influences my life decisions.

What is one conspiracy you believe in? Or one you think is total crap?

I'm not a conspiracy theorist. Most of them I don't really pay attention or put much weight into. I do think there was a lot more to Whitney Houston's and her daughter's deaths than the narrative the public wanted you to believe, but I'm not gonna get into my feelings on that.

Where was the last place you traveled to and what did you do/who did you go with?

The city with Brittany to go see Wicked, pick up some stuff from the store, and get a late dinner on the way home.

Where was the last place you didn’t want to go but had to anyway?

Sunday dinner.

If you could be doing anything right now, what would it be? >>

Eating the cheese pizza I just made. I'm waiting for it to cool down some.

What made you pick up the last book you read? Are you glad you did? >>

I saved the audiobook of My Love Story by Tina Turner on my Spotify and then started it a short time after that. I'd read her first memoir years ago and she's one of my favorite artists, so I wanted to read listen to this second one when I found out about it. It's very good so far, I just really wish the entire thing had been read by her instead of just the prologue because I love listening to her talk. She was getting older and in poor health at the time it came out though, I think. So I understand why it wasn't. She died a few years later.

When was the last time you yelled/screamed and why? >>

Probably when I yelled fucking shut the fuck up on the opposite side of the wall to where my neighbours dog was whining and howling incessantly all day and night a while ago and I hadn't slept. I can't think of another instance as I don't make a habit of doing this.

Why is your greatest fear your greatest fear? >>

Trauma is a hell of a thing, man.

What was the last big decision you made? Do you think you made the right choice?

Having to move. I don't think it's the right choice at all and I don't feel the least bit good about it or the potential outcome, but it was my only choice, given the situation. I'm hoping it'll turn out better than I think, but I'm very pessimistic on that.

If you could have any animal as a pet (in a magic universe where wild animals can be tame or something!) what animal would you choose? >>

A dolphin! I freaking love dolphins.

What Hogwarts house are you in? What do you think about the “stereotypes” regarding your house? >>

Gryffindor.

What is your favorite song to sing? How about dance to? Do the DO to? >>

I don't have just one favourite song and this changes often but lately

To sing: what's love got to do with it? - Tina Turner

To dance to: (I can't walk, so I can't actually dance. I just kinda move the top half of my body along to the beat and wave my arms around and shit):

Proud Mary - Tina Turner's version or American Woman -Lenny Kravitz

Have sex to: (if I love her, which I obviously love my gf now) Motivation - Kelly Rowland or

I Am - Christina Aguilera

What is something you want to do, but you don’t think you’ll ever be able to? >>

Stay here and not have to move.

Have you ever given something up for another person? >>

Not that I can think of right now.

What was wrong with you the last time you felt sick? >>

Y'all, my stomach has been fucked. I've no idea why but damn. So that. Or migraines.

What is something about your personality that you hope never changes?

How compassionate, empathetic and funny I am.

If you could be famous/known for something, what would you want it to be?

I have talents and skills, but I have no desire to be famous or known for them at all. That just seems like my worst nightmare, tbh.

Do you prefer to watch movies with other people or by yourself?

By myself if not with Brittany.

What, if anything, are you trying to change about yourself?

Limit the obscene amount of self loathing and mental spiralling I experience.

How would you describe your soul (old, young, wise, like some sort of animal, flower, etc)? >>

It's definitely very old, and I quite hate that.

Where were you when you first listened to your favorite song? Did it become a favorite immediately or later on?

I have so many favourite songs I have no idea how to answer this.

When was the last time you were embarrassed?

Uhh?

When was the last time you felt especially good about yourself?

When Nippy was being especially needy and clingy and directly on me cuddling with me. Makes me feel like I'm taking very good care of her, which I know I do. I'm proud of that.

What was the last thing you ate? Would you have preferred something else? If so, what?

A Kind brand breakfast bar in the peanut butter flavour. I want pizza, which I'm gonna have once I finish this.

The last time you drank alcohol, what were you doing/who were you with?

I drank a couple cans of Simply Spiked Lemonade with dinner a few days ago. I was just here by myself.

What kind of a drunk are you?

I don't really get drunk since I can't adequately stand up/transfer or take care of myself in the ways I need to if I'm absolutely smashed. I'd be much more likely to fall, and living alone this would be an especially dumb thing to do. When I've got a decent buzz on though, I'm definitely more social and outgoing and talkative. I'm more overt about the fact I think my girlfriend is the best and hottest thing ever and I'd like to be all over her, lmfao.

What’s the most fun you’ve ever had on a drug/trip?

Idk. I don't really use drugs.

What’s the most dangerous or risky thing you’ve ever done? Did you enjoy it or regret it? >>

Idk I can't think of anything I've personally done, just things that have happened to me that I've been through.

From how far up have you fallen/jumped before?

Idk I used to fall a lot. Thankfully hasn't happened in a while. Let's not jinx it!

Other than this survey, what was the last thing to get on your nerves? >

This survey isn't getting on my nerves, but Nippy was a little while ago.

What was the last thing to make you laugh?

Also Nippy. And this conversation with my girlfriend from last night, when something reminded me of it again.

What is an inside joke you have between you and a friend/etc?

Idk. My brain is melting atm, lmao. There are a lot, though.

What was the last new thing you learned?

Probably new stuff in a Swahili lesson. I've picked it up again.

How would you describe your blog content? Do you only reblog specific things or does anything go?

This one is relatively new. I used to do surveys before, stopped, then came back. I also used to have a poetry blog as a main.

When was the last time you left somewhere for forever (or at least don’t plan on returning)?

Ugh this will be me in a few months pls don't remind me.. Blah.

What is the most destructive thing you’ve done? >> purposefully cut myself, drank daily for a year after my Nan died.

What was the last big decision you made? Do you think you made the right choice?

I answered this.

What video game are you playing now? Do you prefer to play alone or with others/multiplayer games/online games?

I'm not playing anything now. I usually prefer to play alone.

What was the last thing you found? >>

Nippy when she was hiding.

When will you be going out again and where? >>

Possibly tomorrow for family dinner.

Do you prefer to stay at home or do you like to be out and about? Where are your favorite places to go? >>

I love to be out and about if it's plans I've made and there's no access barriers for me to do a particular thing or go a particular place. Otherwise I'd rather be home.

Generally (or specificially, hell idc) what would you like your dream life to look like?

I wish I were able bodied, able to have children, never had to worry about my living situation and could have my partner living close to me always.

When was the last time something about your life changed drastically/what happened?

It hasn't happened yet, but it will be.

What is one talent you wish you had? What about one you are working on?

I wish I could draw well.

What makes you feel “not good enough”? >>

The ways my disability makes life difficult and puts me behind others.

What was the last thing you quit? >>

I didn’t quit drinking, but I quit drinking the way I was drinking. - yeah, same.

What is one drug you want to try? With who/where? >>

The only time I've ever seriously wanted to do drugs is during suicidal ideation and contemplating overdose.

Has any movie totally freaked you out? What’s the craziest movie you’ve ever watched?

I've not been terribly freaked out. I can't think of the craziest one I've seen atm.

What is something you don’t like to do alone? >>

Exist for ungodly amounts of time without human connection or contact.

What about something you only like to do alone (like, something besides the expected things)? >>

I'm not sure.

What is something you find difficult that many others do not?

Walking? Idk. I mean I can't, so.

When was the last time you smiled and why?

Nippy had zoomies and slammed into the wall.

Do you like to help people? How about animals? Which would you rather help, if it applies?

I absolutely like to help both if there's some ways that I can, but I definitely have a soft spot for animals. I love my cat more than pretty much anyone.  

What was the last thing you wasted? >>

Time.

What was your last purchase? 

Groceries.

As an adult, what is the most & least you’ve weighed?

Most: just under 185.

Least: 128.

Who was the last person to leave your life and what caused this to happen, if anything? >>

My gf when we broke up. I don't feel like getting into it. We're together now and going strong for over three years and have worked through it. It doesn't do anything to go back over it.

What was the last compliment you recieved? Insult? >>

Probably babe saying that I was beautiful. Insult was probably my brother saying some stupid shit about my dexterity or lazy eye or something else related to my disability.. Cause y'know... Always just gotta throw that in there every time you see me.. :/

What did you order at the last restaurant you went to? >>

I got a ten piece chicken nugget meal with some hot mustard sauce and a drink from McDonald's on the way home from seeing Wicked.

When you are sad/etc, what kinds of things help you feel less shitty?

My cat, music, my girlfriend, things that make me laugh.

What’s the latest you’ve stayed up this past week? Latest you slept in?

Stayed up: 5 am.

Slept in: 2:30 pm.

Is there anything you feel like you have to do every single day or its not complete? >>

I mean, yeah. If I don't feed and take care of Nippy she'll die.

What was the last chore you did?

Dishes.

What is causing the most stress/anxiety in your life right now? Will this situation end/resolve soon?

Having to move. Idk. I feel like a lot of things are gonna be worse afterwards. :/

When you think about outer space, what thoughts/feelings come to mind? >>

How vast the universe is.

What is the most immature thing you do (or laugh at)? >> I laugh at stupid sex jokes all the time. - buahahaha me too, actually.

Have you ever intentionally hurt someone?

No, not on purpose.

What was the last lie you told? Did anyone notice? Did you feel bad? >>

That I was fine when I wasn't.

When was the last time you went to the doctor? >> pffft idk. I hate my doctor. I avoid going even when I should.

Have you ever been in therapy? If so, what did you think of the experiences? >>

Counselling. It turned me off ever going back.

What kinds of clothing do you like to wear?

Whatever I find that I like. Idk. Leggings. Graphic tees, comfy pants. Sweaters. Dresses.

What is something you like that no one else you know likes too? >>

A lot of things, tbh.

What is something you don’t like that everyone seems to like?

Weed. I don't dislike it. I just don't really partake in smoking or using it.

Do you judge other people based on the foods they eat? >>

No.

Do you follow a particular diet/meal-plan/ethic?

I used to be a vegetarian and would like to go back to it someday. Right now I don't follow anything in particular.

Are you involved in politics or do you tend to avoid them?

I can't afford not to care at all. I vote. I try to stay informed but it's a fine line between staying informed and losing my sanity at times. Sometimes I need to unplug and not pay attention for a while.

What is a subject you tend to avoid with other people, for whatever reason? >>

I tend to tune out my family's political discussions and not contribute to them, as I'm not the same political persuasion as any of them and have a vastly different mindset.

When was the last time you changed your mind about something? What made things change? >>

Deciding what I wanted to eat.

If there was a colony on Mars and you could actually feasibly go live there, would you want to? >> No.

What kinds of things make you homesick, or do you get homesick very much?

I don't get homesick, per se. I get to a point I'm glad to be home where it's easy to do everything without having to struggle or needing help.

What is the longest (or most involved) thing you’ve ever written? >>

When I was working on a novel, likely. But I used to write all the time, so there's a lot of long involved things I could use for this answer.

If you could choose, would you be yourself or someone else?

I would be able bodied.

What is something you really like - it could be anything - just gush!

I really fucking love my cat.

What about something you just can’t stand, a pet peeve, a resentment, etc? >> I really don’t like when people make fun of people for being excited about things. It doesn’t matter what the thing is. I just... I really don’t like that. You don’t have to like whatever it is, but just... don’t fucking piss on their parade, okay? No one asked for your downer ass opinion anyway. - omg say it louder! I experience this a lot and it genuinely just boils my piss! Please stop. Let people have their joy! Jesus.

What is the highest elevation you’ve been to? >>

I somehow missed this question at first. I guess when I was on a plane in 2004.

What do you think of love?

I think it's wonderful, when it's right. I love seeing other people happy, too.

What is one food you used to like but no longer do?

Nutella.

How would you describe your eating habits?

A bit disordered, I guess. I don't have set, elaborate meals. Nothing too unhealthy.

Do you prefer to live with others or by yourself? Why is this?

I live alone. This is changing soon and I'm not happy about it.

What scares you about getting older?

The way my disability changes as I age deteriorating my body even further and robbing me of the independence I do have/a decent quality of life before I'm really even what society sees as old.

What is one thing you find attractive? >>

Compassion.

Who did you last tell a secret to? Or just sensitive info?

Babe.

What kind of blogs do you follow?

Survey takers. Cat blogs.

Have you made any good friends online? How long have you known them? >>

Babe and I have known each other 18 years next year. We first met online.

What is something really weird/embarrassing that you’ve done? >>

Idk man. I'm just a little ball of weird, embarrassing energy.

What about something you’ve done that sounds too wild to believe?

Idk a lot of things I've been through or deal with are usually just hard for others to understand or relate to.

What does it mean to you to trust someone? >>

It means everything. It's very hard for me to trust and open up to others. If I let you in like that you mean a lot. I'm basically giving you the ammunition to wound or destroy me and believing that you'll choose not to.

What was the last thing you drank?

Coffee.

What’s the weather doing where you are?

It's cold. I think clear. But cold.

What was the last thing to go completely wrong? >> When I found out I'm gonna have to leave here next year.

What kinds of things do you like to talk about? >> I'll talk about anything, just has to be with the right type of person, that's all.

What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? >>

My dexterity and my weak eye.

Name a book or movie from childhood that holds a special place in your heart? >

Annie.

What are some of your favorite words/word meanings? >>

I'm basically fluent in Spanish and I prefer it to English just because I prefer the way that it sounds. I can't think of specific words.

When was the last time you procrastinated something?

When I was hungry and had to decide what to make to eat.

What mood/attitude do you tend to have when taking surveys, or does it vary?

It depends what's being asked. But I always answer honestly. Rarely I might skip or delete a question or become mildly irritated.

Has another survey-taker ever bitched you out for one of your answers?  >>

Yeah.

Have you ever bitched anyone out for theirs? >> No, I came back at them with kindness and it was fine. Just a misunderstanding. No big deal. I'll never bitch someone out for an answer they give.

How did you celebrate the most recent holiday? >> Went to a restaurant that was open instead of cooking or going to someone's house.

How does your birthday make you feel?

I hate it.

How would you describe your relationship with your parents?

My relationship with my mum is very transactional. I feel like a big burden on the life she wanted for herself and like something she's obligated to deal with. She doesn't seem to have too much interest in spending genuine time together or in me as a human being. I don't really feel like I can talk to her about anything beyond necessity that can't be avoided. I feel like there's a lot of resentment on both sides. I've tried to change this and extend olive branches and stuff, but it's not something I can change all on my own. My dad is always driving for work and had to move a good distance away from me, so I hardly physically see him anymore. I try to call him once every week or two. We've had our ups and downs, his alcoholism playing a big part in the downs, but he was there to raise me when the one who should have been chose to step out and is still around in my adulthood even though he's no longer with my mother. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have really had a father at all. So I'm grateful to him in a lot of ways, too.

What is the longest amount of time you’ve spent alone (or mostly alone, since this is the age of the internet and all, hah)? >>

Months.

What was the last thing you asked for help with?  >> I guess when I asked the maintenance guy to come check the lights when half of them randomly stopped working out of nowhere.

[flowersfortomorrow]

Sweetheart Letters - 1st December 2024

[Brooklyn - Emily James]

Dear Sweetheart,

My eyes are heavy but I don't think I can cry anymore. I feel nothing inside and I can't see color. The sun is gone, just like I wanted, but now I don't know who I am. I don't know what to do. I wish I was sad. I wish I was outraged. I wish I felt the need to vindicate myself for what's happened. But I feel nothing at all. It doesn't even feel lonely. It doesn't feel surprising. I wish I could say this is all new to me but it's always been this way. Pessimism about what comes next with the destruction of any falsely created ideas of hope. The answer I knew all along being the answer to it all.

If I was outraged that it happened to me maybe I could see a new color. Maybe a new painting could be made, but I'm walking down these streets staring at my own reflection in shop windows and looking away.

A shop you cant afford to enter. People you don't have connections to. Haunted down turned eyes that always ruin the mood. Jokes that don't make you laugh. Religion that doesn't inspire change and the only other person who knows is the shop window reflection.

You would think I was the first person to stumble into depression with the words I write, but it's always been here. It nips at your ankles and if you pay it's fee it becomes interwoven in your skin, a second layer to give a falsified sense of armor to the wearer.

If you don't pay its fee you may as well be walking through waist deep dried mud to perform any task. An unnecessary difficulty added onto your plate to work through.

What used to make me smile doesn't anymore. My own words make me wish to cut my own tongue out. If you knew what I knew and saw what I saw you would understand it all. Confirmation of the answer only makes it worse and creates the pessimistic attitude.

A window shop reflection is all I'm willing to pay attention to these days. Everything else seems pointless. I wonder if you know what I mean, maybe we can have our reflections window shop together.

Two hollowed out, haunted eyed individuals with no optimism left, holding hands window shopping while saying nothing at all, knowing there is no way we are checking those price tags.

Optimism these days looks like comfort and nothing is more comforting than shared pessimism for dreams that can't be. Rather than closing my eyes and wishing for dreams, I'd rather wake up next to you and curse we both lived to see the next day. A terribly unfair price to pay for all the misery we hold.

Life is miserable Sweetheart.

Love, Ruby.

[ray-talks]

1/31/24

today went mostly well.

i had a small portion for my meal and no side dishes. unfortunately though, nothing other than water came out when i tried purging it. i'm not extremely hung up about it because of the size of the meal.

something i've thought about -- and have struggled with in the past -- is being more conscious of liquid calories. it's almost like my brain doesn't register them the same. obviously, i don't go all out and drink anything without restriction. i only drink diet (or generally zero cal) sodas. my general substitute are sparkling ice drinks -- they are only around five calories each. my biggest concern is that i tend to drink too much coffee, which isn't necessarily bad if it is black, but i put creamer in it. sadly, i can't get myself to sacrifice it. it's such a big comfort for me and i have strong cravings for it. i probably crave coffee more than i do food, which i deprive myself of much more. maybe i justify it in my head, because i restrict my food intake just enough, so i can spend a little more on liquid calories and still lose weight. i suppose if this turns out to be hampering my ability to lose weight, i may have to cut ties. for someone like me who is so obsessed with suffering, it's likely ridiculous that i can't bring myself to endure the pain of giving up cream in my coffee (lol).

something i have yet to discuss here is that i have been referred to an electroconvulsive/ketamine clinic. i go along with this simply out of mild curiosity -- and to paint myself as someone who cares about getting help -- but i have full-confidence it will have little to zero effect on me. this isn't even me being pessimistic, and ultimately, hopeless. in fact, i have no investment in alleviating my depression, so it's not something i was hoping for to begin with. i'd rather prefer it not change me, otherwise, it would negatively impact my goal. i guess it could be argued if it did do something, i would not care as much about my goal. but as of right now, i do not feel this way. maybe this isn't how it works, but i believe if i have no desire to recover, that it will not do much. the reason this gives me pause anyway, is that i may not have any control over an utter shift in my brain chemistry -- so perhaps, there is a possibility i'll completely change. i don't count on it, though. i've been through countless medications -- i am even currently taking six (embarrassing, right?) -- and it is pretty evident that i am still mentally fucked. so, i've endured other things that change my brain chemistry with little to no traditionally positive results.

a question i posed to my therapist today was, "is it a win for me to be alive, even if i am perpetually miserable?". their answer was essentially no and that it would be quite terrible -- of course, outside of the slight chance of change that is only permissible with life. i wonder if this will be my fate, if i don't commit or fail to, that i'll still be alive in five years, but i'll be the same as i am now. i think i've become increasingly more apathetic about my lack of happiness, so this may not necessarily be the most nightmarish scenario for me, but it does make me worry about how burdensome i will be to others. i wonder about my capacity to be independent, hold a job, or not be in-and-out of the hospital. if these are an impossibility, that horribly burdens my family. i may sound like a broken record, because i think i've said this multiple times, but it conflicts me that my self-destructive nature is destructive to others too, particularly people i care for. then, i experience additional guilt that, despite this confliction, i do not resolve to change myself, like they are not enough for me to change. i must be a bad person and incredibly selfish for this. they deserve someone much better than me.

these are all my thoughts for today. if anyone reads this, i wish you a good day.

[kenxmatsui]

Ken gave an innocent smile in return, "Well, I can excuse some of that because we're in a small town and see each other often enough, but you could stand to eat better I suppose." While he wouldn't go as far as to fuss over the man, Ken cared deeply enough for the feeling to be shown.

He nodded, this life he led now was leagues better than when he had been alive, "I know I know, I've grown to accept that, I have, but just how you will continue, I can't not be a pessimist about things." To fully accept he deserved it after three decades of knowing he was not worthy of a morsel of happiness was difficult, but slowly and surely he came to terms with that. "So he's gullible, not surprising," Ken commented, but eased with the remarks with a low chuckle, "Yes yes, of course I'll have to ask her first, this is all dependent on that one word." He fell into an easy smile at the shared sentiment, "Always. Thank you, truly, for being here."

Ken scoffed loud, "Am not. You wish." He listened on, "No, you're right, most of us won't be, I'm not either." It was less magical for him, but the essence of it remained; he was entirely different than he had been. "A reunion in a magical town could be a first, but we have humans and non-humans here already, how well do they along normally?" Ken shook his head in strong disagreement, "First off, I'd never siphon you. Secondly, no, that would not be funny." When the cat in question appeared, Ken looked to Rohan, "He agrees, doesn't he. I wouldn't put your familiar through that nonsense."

Giving a dismissive scoff, Rohan waved a hand through the air. "Who are you, my mother? You and her could have teamed up to make sure I'm eating in the big fancy city and complain about me never calling home." He rolled his eyes, but his face spread into an easy grin. "Okay. One thing. I promise." He nodded.

Rohan clicked his tongue. "You give me too much credit," he admonished jokingly. "And it's Jonah, really. He makes me better, so maybe it's rubbing off." The smile which followed was genuine. "You've always deserved it, you know. But...look, Ken, I know I spend my fair share of time moping. And I'm going to continue to mope. But we're so blessed. To have good friends. To have people we love. We're turning into a pair of Rockwell paintings, and we'll just have to accept it." Rohan shrugged. "I needed him to turn around so I could take out the ring without him seeing. It's very easy to do, you know. You just...point to a sea creature that may or may not be there, and he's off," he laughed, but as Ken continued, Rohan felt himself soften, overcome, really, with a more gratitude than he knew what to do. "Of course. I will play any role you want me to play. I owe you more than that. But...ask Leyla the big question first, huh?" He lightly jostled his friend's shoulder. "And you do the same for me. I love you. You're the best friend I've ever had. My brother. I'm honored to be part of this milestone in your life."

A gasp of faux offense broke through his lips, and Rohan clutched his chest. "Wow. I see how it is. That makes you dork by proxy, but we knew that." Rohan shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not the same person I was back there. Are any of us? Mine's just more literal." A phantom, magical wind rolled through the room, rustling them. "Would it be nice, though? To have a reunion of some kind? Here? In this house? Prove that we humans and non-humans really can all get along and be happy?" He scoffed at how juvenile this sounded. "You can't hear Bustopher, but he has a comic villain voice. It's deeper than one would expect. Siphon him sometime if you want to cat-sit. It'll be funny." Said cat materialized as if from nowhere to bound onto the sofa between them to deny this assertion.

[twinksintrees]

Finally got my Lark Oak character playlist breakdown done, hope y’all enjoy.

Fair warning it is long and sad, cw for mentions of sexual assault in the song cut corners on short walks

a link to the playlist for those interested ^^

We are the kids: I think I found this one on someone else’s Lark playlist and I think it really fits him. “We are the kids that you never can kill” is what Lark thinks of himself and the other s1 kids. And the bit that’s like “i rip holes in my shirt/there’s mud on my shoes/there’s sun on my skin/i am brand new” really represents his chaotic youthful nature and just really speaks to him as a kid. “We howl at the moon” is him and Sparrow because you know for a fact they howled at the moon together because hashtag love wolf am i right.

Always gold: sad brother song !! this one’s just about like brothers growing apart and being all angsty and sad and i thought it fit. “You would kill for me/and I knew that I'd do the same” is a very Oak twins attitude. Technically the song would be from Sparrow’s perspective with the lines “we were opposites at birth/i was steady as a hammer/no one worried cuz they knew just where i’d be/and they said you were the crooked kind” i think these lines really just demonstrate the difference between the two brothers, but more importantly the difference in how everyone else viewed the two especially after the rogue card was drawn. Everyone views Lark as ‘the crooked one’ ‘the angry one’ ‘the problem twin’ meanwhile Sparrow gets swept in the shadow and no one worries or thinks too much of him, because he’s ‘easier’ to deal with than Lark is. Also all the lyrics about everything leaving and dying and then the other person being like “i’ll always be here for you’ is Very Lark vs Sparrow energy. Lark is pessimistic and angry and Sparrow, for better or for worse, will always welcome him in. no matter what atrocities he commits along the way.

Used to the darkness: the sound of this one just felt very Lark to me. The heavy, dark sound suits him well I think. Also the title, he’s been through so much and has been used to fighting and killing and all sorts of other shit since he was like 13 in the forgotten realms, the dude’s absolutely used to the darkness, if you will.

I was just a kid: “i was just a kid/i needed answers/i pulled the trigger/and nothing happened” Lark was just a kid when he stabbed his father. He was just a sad angry kid, manipulated into making a bad decision. He ‘pulled the trigger’ and let the doodler loose. A mistake he will work tirelessly to fix.

The devil you know: this one just fucking BOPS. pretty much the only reason this one’s on here is because of nark/Nicky. Kind of a cute little ship song for them ig.

Icarus: gotta be honest i just really like this song and it has similar Vibes as Lark in my head, i don’t have much concrete evidence for why this one fits Lark. The lyrics ‘icarus is flying too close to the sun” can be read as like, Lark throwing himself into fights against the doodler/other monsters in a wreckless attempt to make himself feel better for causing the end of the world, kinda.

I wanna be your slave: straight up nark. This song just screams nark to me. It works both ways in my mind, it could be about either of them.

Discord: So replace ‘discord’ with ‘doodler’ and I think it applies pretty well to Lark and his view of the world in season 2 especially.

Broken man: this one doesn’t go much further than Lark Oak is uh…a pretty broken man, if you will.

Liar: I added this one while I was still pretty early in season 2, around episode 5/6 when Lark and Sparrow were under the influence of the doodler question mark ? and now honestly I think it applies to Sparrow more. “I’m not in the right state of mind/I just wish I had the strength to admit it” is pretty straight forwardly about Lark not being in the right state of mind at the dance, when he and Sparrow are under the doodler’s influence. It can also have a double meaning and be about his teenage years, where he’s not in the right state of mind and blinded by rage and hurt and confusion and self hatred from stabbing his dad and blaming himself and wanting to fix his mistakes and all of that spiraling out of control. “My stubbornness will put up a fight/but i don't deserve to win it” is just more of Lark’s self hatred and thinking he deserves everything bad coming to him. “I’m left in the dark pondering my mistakes/in the light i swear i will/deny it all” Lark has so many insecurities and anger and hurt within him, but all of that will stay firmly locked in his head, he’s not going to tell ANYONE anything. He’s not letting anyone in, he’ll deny it all. “I am the host of this hostility” is more just of just Lark feeling bad. “My life’s become this grand game of deception/my mind’s ignored all my heart’s good intentions” is Lark as an adult kind of looking back on his choices, regretting what he had to do with swapping the realms, and (this isn't really canon but) kind of missing Nicky, missing what they used to have and stuff. “We all feel this tension/we all have our own illusions” is the entire Oak-Garcia family, all feeling the tension between Lark and Henry and not knowing how to deal with it. And then in the outro how it repeats the chorus but with the use of ‘our’ feels like it could be about the Oak-Garcia family as a whole.

An honest mistake: first off, this one bops, second, this one’s also pretty much on here for the title, Lark was like, a small teenager when he stabbed his dad, and he was manipulated into doing it by Willy, so like, while it is his fault he started the apocalypse and unleashed the doodler, it’s also kinda not? It’s complicated. Regardless, it’s on here for Lark’s regret and y’know, all of that. “My old friends/i swear i never meant for this” is Lark talking directly to the other s1 kids. That’s pretty much it for this one.

You’re gonna go far kid: this one really speaks too and sounds like a manifestation of Lark’s anger. He’s angry and frustrated and the pure aggression behind the words “now dance fucker dance” really represents that well i think. “I never had a chance/and no one even knew it was really only you” speaks to Lark thinking he only has himself/him not trusting others. Also ‘i never had a chance’ is really specifically about the rogue card and Henry. He never had a chance of a happy relationship with his father because of the rogue card’s prediction, but also he never really stood a chance of turning out ‘normal’ or whatever just sort of based on Henry and Mercedes’s parenting style and also Henry’s own daddy issues really affecting how he parented his own children.

Polarize: no one judge for having twenty one pilots on one of my character playlist’s when the lyrics “i wanted to be a better brother, better son” apply so perfectly. “Wanted to be a better adversary to the evil i have done” is also very Lark, it represents his thoughts about the doodler and how he wishes he could finally, actually defeat it. “My friends and I we've got a lot of problems” speaks to the s1 kids and how they’ve been left with their parents' mess. The chorus of “deny, deny, denial” also feels very Lark to me.

Cut corners on short walks: I know this one sounds very different compared to the other songs on this playlist but the lyrics are too perfect to leave it off. I mean, the very beginning lines “the sour substances that make up my hind brain/have slowly become stagnant and i have surely become insane/and the anger i feel in my veins/has stopped pouring out of the hole in my face” already connect so deeply with Lark when i think about them. The ‘sour substances’ that make up the hind brain is I'm assuming intended to be about mental illness or something similar, but in the case of Lark and the Oaks in general I interpret that as the doodler, sitting idle in the Oak’s brains and bodies, waiting for a chance to surface. “Broken by 14 with no chance for absolution” is Lark going through everything he did and being so traumatized and hurt by the time he’s 14. By the time he’s 14 he’s already stabbed his father and everyone knows and there’s no coming back from that, it is a bloodstain on his history. “We were searching for joy with apophatic conclusions/we started savoring apathy and all of our bruises” Lark was a very happy child. He and his brother did everything together, they had great loving parents, they had everything they wanted and needed. Then they get taken to the realms. And then Lark isn’t so happy anymore. “We used to be so pure, so fragile and raw” is Lark mourning the loss of his and his friends innocence and childhood in the realms. “Well out of the flames we reclaimed our decay/and the world became a stage, complete chaotic, how we played” could be about the s1 kids being left with the ruins and decay of the world their parents left behind. The world becoming a stage is like the doodler being unleashed, everything is loose and chaotic now. The rest of the song, the bit about experiencing sexual assault and then the end being about healing i don’t think really apply to Lark in particular because frankly i don’t think either of those things happen to him.

No children: “i hope that our few remaining friends/give up on trying to save us” I mean. That line is pretty straight forward. Lark doesn’t have much hope for the future, he just wants people to stop caring, stop trying with him. It won’t work. “I hope we come up with a fail safe plot/to piss off the dumb few that forgave us” is Lark talking about Henry. He thinks Henry still loving him and forgiving him is stupid, he doesn’t understand why Henry hates him as much as he hates himself. “And I hope when you think of me years down the line/you can’t find one good thing to say” Lark’s self hatred. “And I’d hope that if I found the strength to walk out/you’d stay the hell out of my way” Lark hopes that if he left Sparrow wouldn’t follow. He knows he’s wrong.

Sometimes: credit to tumblr user @s-ccaam-era-crepe for this one, he has a breakdown of it for all of the dads but I thought it fit Lark especially. (Also it just Sounds very Lark to me so)

Screwing in a lightbulb: credit to tumblr user @s-ccaam-era-crepe for this one (ly scam <33)

Gun.: Everything about this one screams Lark to me. The sound, the lyrics, the fucking TITLE, it’s all perfect. My chemical romance is also just a very Lark band to me, conventional weapons especially (yes im projecting it���s fine). “Well as soon as i get my gun/i’ll point it out the window at the setting sun” can be about the black hole/doodler eye/sun. “As soon as i get my gun/i’ll tell you about it when you fall in love” is Lark talking to Sparrow, he’s always going to be focused on fighting the doodler, that’s always going to be his top priority. Sparrow meanwhile is going to try and build a normal life for himself, so lark will always be telling Sparrow about his fights and stuff while Sparrow is busy doing his own thing with his own life. “Well the uniform isn’t sewn/they make ‘em like we give ‘em out to anyone” can represent how D.A.D.D.I.E.S. isn’t an official organization, it’s just a bunch of dads and sons trying to fix what’s wrong. The uniform isn’t sewn because they don’t have uniforms, they're just guys trying their best. “Well if i’m old enough to die for your mistakes/then let’s go” this is very much teenage Lark to me. 17 y/o Lark feeling so sick and tired of his dad telling him to stay out of fights and keep himself safe, when Lark just wants to go out and get bloody and get in the heat of battle again. He’s already fought, already been through an insane amount of shit, he’s old enough to die for both his own and his father’s mistakes. And maybe a part of himself wants to. “Can I bleed enough to fill up what the engine takes/we don’t know” is along similar lines, Lark will do whatever it takes to make up for what he did, he will fight and bleed until he’s dead if it means the doodler will die. “But if you’re watching up above/they're teaching me to kill/who’s teaching me to love” is incredibly specific and maybe doesn’t fit with canon, but this is like, if Henry died and Lark is still angry with him, then that line is Lark speaking to Henry after he’s gone, like Lark is learning to kill and all this very violent stuff that he knows Henry doesn’t love, and he’s slowly like leaving behind his softer, open side of himself that Henry really did love and did his best to nourish. It’s also like, the phrasing of “who’s teaching me to love?” really hits because we the audience and Lark himself knows that Henry was the one who taught Lark to love, taught all this hippie dippie shit that he just left behind and completely abandons. “I’m never gonna have a son” is like, Lark won’t bring a new life into this broken world until he’s able to fix it. He’s never going to have a son, and it’s also like, he’s the only of the s1 kids who doesn’t have a kid so it speaks to that as well.

Six feet: I found this one on another Lark playlist and thought it went hard so I put it on mine. I think this one just speaks really clearly to Lark’s dedication to fight and fix the world. He’ll work himself to death to make things right. Also it just bops so.

Prologue: credit to tumblr user @s-ccaam-era-crepe for this one. (You can read Scam’s post analyzing all of the songs I took from him here)

I’m not angry anymore: I don't even have a good breakdown for this one it’s just THE Lark song to me. It’s everything. It’s pretty much just the title and the vibes of the song and everything, I can't even explain it that well.

Anti-hero: listen i'm sorry i put the new biggest taylor swift hit on my lark oak playlist but hear me out, it fits. Just read what @terrific-fish wrote when it dropped:

Nark song ^^ that is all <3

Brother: oooooooh my god this one hurts me. Imagine Lark leaving to go off and try to plan and take down the doodler, the mission or whatever is unsuccessful and goes bad, and he arrives at Sparrow’s doorstep out of nowhere, because he knows his brother will always take him in. Sparrow will sit with him and listen and bring him down from whatever self hate and doubt and everything in his head that he's going through. He’d patch up any physical injuries Lark has as well. “Remember when you and I would make things up?/so many nights, just take me down/to the place we can hear them play/i miss that sound/cuz no we don’t sing so loud” is Lark wishing to go back to his and Sparrow’s childhood, before the realms and before the rogue card and before all the hurt and anger. He wants to be carefree and happy again. He misses it.

Brother: well. Going to be honest I didn't really have a good reason for this song to be here aside from the title, but going over the lyrics I have a truly tragic reading and interpretation for it. “Oh brother of mine/it’s been a long long time/since i’ve seen my face in your eyes” is Lark and Sparrow getting older and while they will always look like each other because, y’know, twins, as they grow older they develop more of their own sense of style and expression and change their looks a bit. Sparrow grows his hair long and shaves his face. He looks just like his father. Lark doesn’t have the patience to shave and so his beard is messy and unruly, but in a cool hot way. He looks nothing like his father. “I left you alone in a house not a home” is Lark tearing the Oak-Garcia home apart with his hatred of Henry. Mercedes and Sparrow don’t know what to do, Henry is in shambles, and Lark is just so, so angry. Sparrow becomes the middleman, facilitating Lark’s hatred while never speaking against him, never telling him how much it hurts to have the people he loves unable to speak with each other. “Brother i watched the sky burn/and all i learned was smoke fills the lungs like a disease” i think this is Lark learning that like, hurt and violence don’t only have to be physical? Like, he learns that words can cut just as much as knives. The ‘smoke’ can hurt just as much as the fire, just in a different way. He watches as words and social norms slowly kill his brother, as Sparrow inhales so much smoke it kills him and beats him down. “Oh brother i confess/there is little of me left that could care about dowsing the wildfire” is Lark losing so much of himself in anger that only the smallest part of himself cares about his father anymore. He can’t bring himself to forgive him but he misses him so much and everything hurts.

[rehkkuma]

she's all yours | okuyasu x reader

summary: unlike his partner in crime, Okuyasu lacked experience in the dating field. Once he believes that he may have a chance with his crush, his best friend begins to get in the way.

words: 1.8k

disclaimers/tags: fem pronouns, modern AU (basically just phones being involved), tiny bit of angst, fluff, and cursing.

He was staring again. The poor 16-year-old boy couldn't help but notice every single detail about her: the slight tilt in her walk whenever she went up the stairs, how she would tie her shoes, and the unfortunate glint of light in her eyes whenever she spoke with his best friend.

Y/n L/n was someone extremely special to him (whether she knew it or not). She could read his expressions so clearly, sometimes knowing more about Okuyasu than Okuyasu did himself. The emotions he couldn't quite put his finger on, she always had an answer to. At times, he felt undeserving of the friendship he had with her. After coming to terms with his developing feelings for the girl, of course she began to get closer with his best friend.

He was painfully aware of the difference in treatment he received compared to Josuke. While Josuke could be referenced as Morioh's pretty-boy delinquent, Okuyasu was more like the intimidating ruffian that stood by his side. Obviously, Y/n did not think of Okuyasu in that way, but her perception of him didn't matter if he was considered nothing more than a friend.

"Hey," Josuke called out, concerned for his friend.

"Y-Yeah?" Okuyasu stuttered, trying to regain his thoughts.

"Whatcha lookin' at?"

Okuyasu silently thanked Y/n for standing in a crowd with other students. If she stood any further from the school's front entrance, it would've been easy for Josuke to pinpoint who he was eyeing.

"Nothing, really. Just thought I saw a cute girl."

Josuke shrugged his shoulders, repositioning himself so his back laid more comfortably against the tree. "Well, if you do see one, ask 'em out or somethin'. I wanna see you have your first kiss before we graduate," he chuckled.

"Mhm, yup," Okuyasu responded, eyes now glued to the grass he was sitting on. He was about to spew out a self-deprecating joke but stopped himself once he noticed Y/n approaching the two of them. Immediately, he recognized Josuke's energy shift from disinterest to eagerness.

"Y/n!" Josuke cheerfully said, waving at the girl.

"Hi, you two!" she waved back. Once coming close enough, she sat down along with the boys, her knees lacing together in a criss-cross position. Because of the short distance between her and Okuyasu, the boy could smell the flowery essence emitting off of her body. He wasn't too fond of fragrances, but the one Y/n had was light and sweet-- perfectly suiting her personality.

Before he knew it, Okuyasu was staring again. The only thing that got him to snap back into reality was the cry of laughter Y/n let out after Josuke made a funny remark.

"Did you hear that Okuyasu?" Y/n choked out, leaning back with both hands on her stomach.

"Y-Yeah." Okuyasu fake laughed, really having no clue what the hell was going on.

"God," Y/n sighed as she wiped off the faint tears forming in her eyes. "I wish I could hang out with you guys a bit longer, but I just wanted to drop by and say hi. I gotta help out with some chores tonight."

"It's all good," Josuke smiled. "But only if you promise to call me tonight."

The girl rolled her eyes while getting up from the ground. "We'll have to see about that, Jojo!" She then stuck her tongue out before scurrying off to her house.

Josuke chuckled, slowly placing his chin on the palm of his hand. "She's pretty cute, isn't she?" he said, eyes glued to the girl's figure in the distance.

"Yeah, she sure is."

* * *

Okuyasu could remember the first time he met her as clear as day: his hands were tucked deep into his pockets, feet dragging along the sidewalk while he was on his way to school. Unlike his regular routine, Josuke was unable to walk with him due to an argument breaking out between him and his mother. It seemed like a bummer at the moment, but maybe it was actually a blessing in disguise.

"Fuck!"

In front of Okuyasu's feet laid a girl. Her uniform was stained with a bright red juice and its can rolled next to her. He didn't recall exactly what happened, but he did feel someone's face hit his chest before hearing a thud.

"I didn't get any on you, did I?" the girl asked with panic.

Okuyasu, hands still in his pockets, shook his head. "Mnn. Don't think you did."

"Okay, thank God. These stains are so hard to get rid of."

That was one of the first things that Okuyasu remembered from Y/n. Her casual way of talking was enough to make any stranger feel like a good friend. Something about this girl piqued his interest.

"Guess it's not your first time, huh?" he hummed.

"You'd think I'd learn my lesson after the third time."

After the small accident, Okuyasu took the girl to the laundromat. Classes would begin in any minute, but neither one of the pair minded skipping it.

"Oi, what're you gonna be wearin' in the meantime? Don'tcha think the teacher's gonna kick your ass for showing up like that?" Okuyasu pointed at the revealing tank top she wore.

"Yeah, definitely. That's why you should totally let me borrow your top," she winked.

"Don't get too ahead of yourself. I don't even have a clue on what your name is."

"L/n." she replied crassly. "It's Y/n L/n."

That was several months ago. Since then, their relationship started to significantly grow. From sending short texts to sharing a few inside jokes, to hanging out every other day after school. In Okuyasu's eyes, it was inevitable for him to fall for a girl like her.

Right before he could spill about his crush to his best friend, Josuke had already introduced himself to her. It crushed Okuyasu to see the girl he loves slowly start to move on from him-- to his own best friend nevertheless.

All of his frustrations were best to be kept to himself. No way could he express his jealousy to Josuke or Y/n. Out of all the girls that fawned over Josuke, why did she have to be one of them?

**Brring**

Okuyasu rolled his body to the other side of his bed. On a nightstand was his phone that rang. The alarm was just loud enough to break through the pessimistic thoughts roaring through his brain.

"Who's this?" he asked, too lazy to check the contact number.

"It's me, Okuyasu! Why, is it that hard to use a second of your time to check the contact name?"

He recognized that voice anywhere. It was her.

"Aw, look. I was in bed, alright?" he smiled, feeling his mood change immediately after speaking with her.

A small giggle echoed from the other end of the phone. "Alright! I wasn't here to nag you all night anyways." The girl then cleared her throat with a cough before soon speaking again. "I was thinking we should hang out tomorrow. For ice cream, maybe. Just us."

Small butterflies began to form in his stomach from hearing the last sentence. "Just us" had never sounded better.

"Sounds good to me."

"Great!" she nearly interrupted. "A-Ah, sorry! I just got excited. It feels like we've been parting ways the past couple of weeks, but I promise tomorrow's gonna make up for it!"

"It's alright," Okuyasu sighed. "See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow!" she repeated.

* * *

Was it just Okuyasu or did she look way cuter today? The makeup she wore differed from the one she usually had on, her accessories managed to compliment her eyes even more, and she even put an effort into customizing her uniform like Josuke and Okuyasu despite expressing her laziness multiple times. She looked like an absolute doll.

"Hmph." She huffed. "You've been doing that a lot lately," she said flatly.

"Doing what?"

"Staring at me like I'm some crazy person."

Okuyasu internally panicked for a few seconds but composed himself. "You just look pretty lately, that's all."

He expected a cheeky comeback in return but was left with a bashful smile from her instead.

"Let's just hurry up and get ice cream..." she said, eyes faced to the ground.

Okuyasu nodded at her suggestion and began to walk, making sure his pace wasn't too fast for Y/n. He'd occasionally give a glance at her direction to know if he was walking at a comfortable speed for her.

Several minutes of walking and a few casual conversations later, the duo made it to the ice cream shop. Y/n ordered a mix of her two favourite flavours while Okuyasu ordered two scoops of mocha almond fudge. Feeling a bit more gentleman-like today, Okuyasu insisted on paying for the both of them.

"Thanks for the ice cream!" the girl said, taking a small lick of the cone. "I feel like the more I hang out with you, the more things I owe you back," she chuckled as the two left the shop.

"Don't sweat it. Hangin' out with you's enough for me." Okuyasu smiled.

"Ah, really?" she blushed. "That's... really sweet of you."

There she did it again. No witty comeback. Just a flustered reply.

"Somethin' up with you? Eat something bad today?" he asked.

"Hm?"

"You're just actin' a bit different, that's all. Not sayin' it's bad though. I kinda like it." Okuyasu continued to walk on the sidewalk but stopped once he realized Y/n was frozen still. "Hey, you comin'?"

Y/n began to slowly jog her way to Okuyasu. When she caught up with him, she paused once more, now looking into the young boy's eyes. "I feel like you don't hear yourself talk sometimes," she said. "I can't tell if you're flirting or you're just naturally this oblivious."

He didn't know how to respond. He was starting to get nervous from how close their faces were. If he wanted to, he could practically count each beauty mark on her face.

"Well?" she said.

"Well..." Okuyasu tried to come up with something but found himself paying more attention to the girl's lips. They looked plush and soft with a slight glossy coat from the ice cream.

Eventually, the girl noticed where he was looking at. Slowly, she closed the already small gap between the two.

"Okuyasu," she breathed out with a gentle tone. "I really like you."

"I-" he stuttered. "Not Josuke?"

"Josuke?" She covered her mouth with the back of her hand and chuckled. "I don't know what you think is going on between us, but it's not that. He's not exactly my type either."

Okuyasu couldn't believe what he was hearing. Before he could say anything back, he felt her lips against his right cheek. It was a delicate kiss. Maybe a bit sticky, but it made his heart do several backflips nevertheless.

Once her lips left his skin, she stood awkwardly in front of him. The way she looked up at his eyes with that lovestruck gaze made Okuyasu realize something he didn't before: he wouldn't need to jealous of other guys. It was clear that Y/n L/n was all his.

[spongebob-connoisseur]

stupid question but who in the cast would be a tumblr sexyman

Sorry this is an old ask, I'm sorry I kept you waiting for so long. I did initially respond but tumblr deleted my original answer for some reason.

Anyways I'm redoing it. I know this is referencing the MildBobbySauce post about who would be tumblr sexymen. I largely agree with that list. So instead of repeating. I'm just gonna explain why.

**this is a joke btw

Mr. Krabs - I've already seen too many people being 📯 for Mr. Krabs. Gruffy dilf who's been in the navy. Y'all are nasty but respect😤

Plankton - both the musical and the tv show, even the voice actor somehow. A lot of people LOVE Plankton. Its the deep voice and rage and charisma paired with a good heaping of tragedy. A good combination. His musical counterpart is good looking. His voice actor has a lot of fangirls amongst the SB fandom. This is all no coincidence.

Squidward - both the musical and the show. If SB came out today I just KNOW Squidward would instantly become a tumblr sexyman. Tall, lanky, nasally voice. I can see his human counterpart being drawn with an oblong face and longer nose. Idk that's usually the stuff you see reoccurring in the most generic male tumbkr sexymen. Squidward's features would instantly be woobified into the most stereotypical sexyman imaginable. Minus the suit.

But that aside, he's snarky and sarcastic. He's aloof and disinterested. He's a snooty artist type. Come on. I know all the signs. Also his musical counterpart was *chefs kiss*

I actually had a bit of a crush on his musical counterpart 👉👈 like waaaay back when I was 16🤢

The Flying Dutchman - he's a ghost pirate. Ghost pirate dilf man. Idk I know some people who really like him, I wish them all good luck. I simply enjoy the chaos he brings along with him into any episode.

Dutchman's sea monster date - I wrote a list about tumblr sexymen so I know what to write here. This one wasn't on the list but I had to add her. Monsterfuckers gonna LOVE this one. She's so powerful she gets to on this list.

Charlton Hawkfish - you cannot google this character without fanart of him shirtless coming up.

Perch Perkins - I'm surprised he doesn't have more fangirls, suit, voice, generally decent looking lolllll. Nah I'm kidding but he's a blank slate. All you need is some insane person to project and create fanart for him and I can see this ball rolling into a cult.

That being said there were mega simps for him when the musical came out. Of course why not?

Spongebob - the musical one had lots of simps because Ethan Slater. but I can see the main series one also having simps. People would go crazy for the squidward/spongebob dynamic if it came out. Goofy optimist and bitter pessimist is a natural combination.

But to be fair, I think he'd be more the tumblr precious bean. Cinnamon roll boy. Too pure for this world UwU.

Larry - I'd say he's a himbo but compared to other residence of bikini bottom, he actually has brain cells. I'm not sure if its because everyone else is just incredibly stupid, it makes Larry seem smarter by comparison. Anyways he still got the strong and sweet part down. Go crazy.

King Neptune - both og and movie. Og version is built like a Greek god. Good luck. Movie version is a dilf.

Squilliam - idk snarky rich boy. Someone's gotta like him.

Master Udon - hehehehehe I added him here because I know someone who would LOVE this dude. I can already imagine. He's built like her favorite type. So he went on the list for that reason. I think she'd hate me if I told her xD but there must be other girlies or dudes or simps who'd be the same.

Manray - there's a lot of simps for Manray already. Sometimes he's a little too detailed physically in some episodes. Like in Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III and the tickle belt.

Young mermaid man and barnacle boy - nearly forgot these guys. They're jacked. In the comics they get more development and I can imagine it becoming a thing. Now old mermaid man and barnacle boy. Seek help.

The dirty bubble - tbh I've seen someone on here draw the dirty bubble in lingerie. Idk tf was going on there but good luck.

Gale Gobbler - suit, eccentric, insane. He'd use the weather as pickup lines. Someone can roll with that. I'm sure.

Don Grouper - he's gross. Falls into ugly sexyman but if Pearl likes him then I know some nastyass motherfucker here would like him too.

Fred - voiced by Doug Lawrence lolllll also he had his own episode. He's very sweet, loves his big buff nurse gf.

Norton - he's adorable. Especially in the recent seasons where you get to know more about him. He's so likable. He just wants to make friends and he's pretty enthusastic. I know some people were upset how he became nicer in the later seasons because they liked mean he was in the earlier seasons but lol who cares.

Though if someone was truly insane enough, they too can make him into a sexyman.

Incidental 70 - he's got a cult already. Who's to say a good portion of that cult doesn't have fangirls? I'm leaving that out there for ya.

Stanley Squarepants - despite the fact that the Stanley Squarepants episode being not that good. Stanley still remains well liked. I like him too even despite how frustrating the actual episode was. He had potential.

But that's not why he's here. He's here because this dude seems to have a lot of fics and fanart and selfshippers attached to him. I think they like the quiet, timid, shy nature Stanley has. He hasn't much confidence in himself which props up the fan girl/simp mentality "I can fix him"

Slappy - my favorite boy! You know I couldn't forget about him :) he's ugly and weird. But he's got the tumblr sexyman suit and bowtie (can't forget the bowtie! Classic sexyman trait) also if the creepypastas could get fangirls, if SALADFINGERS could get fangirls then why not Slapzo?🥺

Also other peter parodies on here get some love like Yetch and the others. Slappy is the same flavor as them so he deserves some bitches too😌

Though I think I'd die if someone made a human form and completely tumblr sexyfied him. I'd projectile vomit blood. I just know it. He should look like Hans Beckert or bust😤

Anyways here ya go. This shouldn't have taken so long tumblr is just super buggy for me. Everytime this gets deleted I lose motivation to try to answer all over again. With this happening so frequently, you'd think I'd learn to write it out on the notes app then copy and paste it here. But that takes planning 👀 which ruins my flow.

Hope you enjoy because I'm gonna go throw up my dinner now👍

[h0tch-r0cket]

Infatuation (18+) {a.h.}: chapter 2

summary: you needed a job. aaron hotchner needed a babysitter. the rest was inevitable. 

word count: 3.3K

warnings: depictions of smoking, minor explicit language

table of contents

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"What if the kid doesn't like me?" you asked Esmé while buttoning up your satin blouse. You woke up early the next morning, your stomach doing somersaults in anticipation of going on the interview later on in the day. "I'd be shit out of luck."

Esmé simply nodded her head as she ran her hand along Artemis' back, who was asleep soundly on your bed. "Just be yourself. Don't try to fake it with the boy. Believe me," she said, with a small chuckle. "You'll be fine."

You sighed loudly and ran your hands over the blouse, trying to make it as presentable as possible. "I'm nervous, E. It's been a while since I've actually had an interview."

"Don't stress over it. What's the worst that can happen? You don't get the job. Sure, it'll be a bummer but there's plenty of other opportunities for you." You knew Esmé was right. This wasn't the end all or be all. You couldn't help but have a somewhat pessimistic outlook on life, considering how unlucky you were at times.

"I don't know if I'm more worried about impressing the father or the kid," you admitted. You started to brush out your hair, thinking about how you essentially had two different interviews with two totally different people; the father, who is expecting a caregiver for when he could not be around, someone else to watch out for his child; and the child, the one who wants someone fun to be around while his father is gone, someone who isn't a stick in the mud or a complete grouch.

"I'm sure with your resume that Mr. Hotchner won't have any hesitation hiring you. You're more than qualified to watch the little squirt."

"Aaron" you said quickly, correcting Esmé. She furrowed her brows as she continued petting Artemis.

"First name basis already?" she teased. You shook your head no, curious about the real reasoning as to why Aaron preferred to be addressed by his first name. You hoped that in due time, should all go well with the interview, that you would be able to put your curiosity to rest.

"He asked me to call him that," you shrugged. "What time is it?"

"12:30."

You took a deep breath and nodded, glancing once more over your appearance in the mirror. Sleek and moderately professional.  You figured the blouse and jean combo you had on was appropriate for a simple interview at the Hotchner home. You hoped it was enough to impress.

"Time to head out," you said, trying to make your voice sound more excited than what it really was.

You walked over to your bed and bent down, pressing a kiss on Artemis' head. "Wish me luck," you whispered in her ear. You received a small collection of snores from the bulldog in response and you couldn't help but laugh.

"Go get 'em, killer," Esmé said, holding up her free hand for a fist bump.

You rolled your eyes but returned the gesture before gathering the rest of your items together for the interview from the kitchen table.

Resume in hand, you left your apartment, ready to go through the grueling process of being interviewed.

Once you got settled into your car, your hands gripped the wheel tightly, knuckles turning white. You felt your hands begin to get clammy as you turned the key in the ignition, your car roaring with life. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes for a second.

Of course, you were overthinking things. You were you. You were more than qualified to watch a child but there's always the interview jitters that you could never shake.

You turned on the radio, the dull hum of whatever was the local radio station's 'music we'll overplay so much that you'll hate it' for the day filling the air. You punched the Hotchner home address into your GPS and began to drive.

As you drove, you kept thinking of possible answers to questions that Aaron was more than likely going to ask you during your interview.

If he asked why you chose babysitting, you settled on something along the lines of 'I've been having a difficult time finding something in my field because of certain requirements I have yet to meet.'

If he asked what happened at your last job, you were going to be honest. You planned on telling him that you were the new kid on the block so when the marketing company was merged with a larger one, they decided to let you go.

Different questions and scenarios ran through your head throughout the entire drive. You wanted to be as prepared as possible.

You pulled up to the Hotchner house at around 12:50, the day traffic not being your friend during your commute. You still arrived early, but not as early as you had hoped.

Parking in the street in front of the pristine lawn, you took in the appearance of the home. It was a traditional ranch layout, with beige paneling along the front of the house. There was a rustic looking stone walkway leading up to the porch that showed signs of the child who lived there. Broken chalk pieces, bottles of bubbles, and little construction trucks to play in the dirt littered the porch. You noticed the small bin labeled 'Outdoor Toys' underneath the wooden bench that rested against the house, chuckling at the idea that it had been so blatantly ignored by the boy.

You shut off your car and took a quick glance at yourself one more time in the mirror. Patting the stray hairs back into place, you figured it was now or never.

You gathered up your belongings, being mindful to not wrinkle your resume. The small chirp of your car being locked rang through your ears, your nerves building once again. Slowly but surely, you made your way up to the front door.

As you walked, it was as if everything was amplified a million times. The birds cawing, the cars speeding down the street, the rolling of garbage cans to the curb; it all became more prominent as you walked up to the door.

Standing in front of the wooden door, you brought your hand up to knock. It felt as if the world was moving in slow motion. Your knuckles connected to the wood, feeble knocks ringing out in their wake.

You took a step back from the door, clutching your belongings close to you. A deep voice resonated through the door, making your stomach twist into knots from nerves. The door opened a crack and you put on a wide smile. Warm, caramel eyes met yours and they looked you up and down.

"Hi there. I'm Y/N," you said, "I'm here for the interview for the babysitter job."

"Right. Hold on a second." You heard the light clanging of the barrel bolt on the door, finally letting you see the man you were talking to. You felt your eyes widen in shock.

He let out a deep laugh as soon as he saw you.

"Well, well," he said cockily. He leaned against the door frame, taking a long hit of his cigarette that he was holding in his mouth. He exhaled deeply, the white puff of smoke escaping his thin lips, the smell of tobacco instantly invading your nostrils. "If it isn't the dog park patrol."

The guy from the dog park yesterday.

The one whose dog broke free of its leash and came near you and Artemis.

You were thanking the universe that you didn't call him an asshole out loud.

Getting over the initial shock, you blinked a few times to focus back in on the situation. You weren't sure how to respond.

An awkward silence surrounded the two of you as he continued to smoke the cigarette. He cleared his throat as you shifted your weight on the balls of your feet.

He took a step forward out of the door frame, standing directly in front of you. The sunlight hit his glasses just right, glinting as he turned his head. "I only smoke when I'm working. Helps relieve the stress and frankly, calms me down when I read some of the shit that gets turned into me." He stepped over to the edge of the porch and crushed the lit end of the cigarette into the ceramic ashtray that rested upon it. "Hope you don't mind."

You shook your head no. You weren't a smoker yourself but it wasn't something that particularly bothered you that much. "No, it's alright."

"Good." A small grin appeared on his face. "Aaron Hotchner," he said as he stuck his hand out to you.

You returned the gesture, your hand quickly being enveloped by his much larger one. "Y/N Y/L/N. It's nice to meet you. Again," you laughed, trying to make the situation less awkward.

"Come on in." He motioned with his hand towards the door, urging you to walk inside. You obliged, sending him a small smile as you entered the home.

You could tell just by walking into the home that Aaron Hotchner was an organized man. Nothing was out of place, and everything was set up logically. The home was furnished with modern fixtures and there were small hints that the child lived there; a teddy bear resting on the sofa, the family pictures that hung up on the wall, and even small pairs of shoes that laid neatly next to the much larger ones for Aaron by the door.

"Can I get you anything?" Aaron asked as he shut the door behind you both. "Water? Seltzer? Something else that I can find in the fridge?" He walked in front of you and led you into the living room. He gestured towards the couch, urging you to take a seat as he headed into the kitchen.

You placed your belongings in front of you on the coffee table and ran your hands down your blouse as you sat. "No, thank you though."

He came back holding a glass of water for himself, taking a seat in the chair in front of you. He cleared his throat, sitting back in his seat. "So," he started, "tell me about yourself, Y/N."

You watched him as he took his glasses off, hanging them on the collar of his shirt. "What do you want to know about?"

"Your life, future aspirations." He took a small sip of his water, looking at you over the rim of the glass before resting it on his knee. "Really whatever you want."

"Well, I really enjoy marketing so I would hope to do something with that in the future. I'd love to have my own agency."

He nodded his head slightly, his way of showing you he understood. You saw his pointer finger and thumb rubbing together in his free hand, as if he was contemplating what he was going to ask or say next. "Why aren't you doing something in that area now?"

You leaned forward and passed him your resume. "I was up until a few months ago. The company I worked for was bought out by another. And being that I was their new hire and I was pretty much fresh out of college, I got laid off."

His facial expressions softened, a degree of sincerity filling his eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that."

You shrugged your shoulders. "It happens. I was really upset about it when it first happened, but I'm looking at it now as just the beginning."

Aaron read over your resume more thoroughly. You saw his eyes reading each and every line. "You graduated Summa Cum Laude from your college? Impressive."

"Thank you," you responded. You didn't want to seem too shallow in your reaction to his remark, considering the fact that you were extremely proud of yourself for your achievements at your college. Endless nights studying, missing out on hanging out with friends and going to parties, and taking every chance to expand upon your knowledge was the foundation of you being able to be so successful in school. It was extremely hard work and something that you hoped would pay off in the future.

Aaron leaned forward and placed your resume on the table in front of him. "You seem overqualified to be a babysitter. Why do you even want this job instead of trying to find something more related to what you went to school for?"

You contemplated for a second, trying to come up with the best response. You interlocked your hands together and placed them firmly on your lap. "Well to be completely honest, I just really need a job right now and the other jobs I've applied for have either fallen through after the interview, or they never even contacted me to begin with. I can't sit around my house waiting for the perfect job to come across my laptop. I honestly don't think I'll ever find the perfect job. No job is. This job seems like something that I am more than capable of doing and frankly, I'm pretty good with kids."

A few moments of silence passed as Aaron took another drink of his water before placing the cup on the coffee table. "I know that this is just a babysitting job, but I do have a few expectations for whoever it is that I find to fill the spot," he stated. "For starters, you're pretty much going to be spending a lot of time with my son, Jack. My job keeps me late at night at the office or sometimes I go in early. I'll try to give you as much of a heads up as possible, but sometimes having you come here early or staying late may be last minute."

"That's not a problem. I'm not too far away. Maybe about 15 to 20 minutes depending upon traffic."

"That's good to hear. I'd also need you to pick him up from school. He goes in at 8 in the morning and gets out at 2 in the afternoon. The bus drops him off at the end of the street so it's not that far." He leaned back in his chair more, if that was even possible, stretching out his legs underneath the coffee table as he placed his hands firmly on top of his head. "And then from there it's really just the basics; helping him with his homework when needed, possibly making dinner if I run late from my job. That's all I really ask."

"That's not a problem at all. I was wondering though-"

Your sentence was drowned out by the scuffling of feet coming from the kitchen. Aaron immediately sat up, clearly confused as to what was going on.

"Buster! Give me that!" a small voice called out. The footsteps grew louder and you saw the German Shepherd from the day prior bound into the living room followed by the little boy with blonde hair trailing behind him. "Dad! Help me!" the boy yelled.

Buster jumped up on the couch and sat himself down next to you, panting from running. He pressed into your side, belly up, laying in wait with hopes you'd pet him. You moved over on the couch, not wanting the dog to mess up your blouse. The dog turned his head towards you and then you saw the toy that the shepherd was hanging on to in his mouth.

"He's got my G.I. Joe action figure!" the boy yelled out as he pointed to the shepherd.

"Calm down, Jack," Aaron said as he stood up and walked over to the playful pup and opened up his mouth to release the toy. "Never should have got this fucking dog," he muttered under his breath.

Jack let out a loud gasp. "You said a bad word!" the boy hollered.

"I'll put the money in the jar later," he said, sounding defeated that his son heard him drop the f-bomb. He turned around from the couch and he gave Jack back the action figure and sat back down in his chair. "You have to be more careful with Buster. You know he thinks that your toys are his toys sometimes," Aaron said to Jack. The boy nodded his head, gripping the action figure tight to his chest.

He turned his attention to you rather quickly and a puzzled look grew on his face. "Who are you?" Jack asked.

"This is Y/N. She might be your new babysitter," Aaron explained. "Is there anything you want to ask her?"

Jack stuck out his tongue and tapped his chin as he thought of what to ask, his eyes staring at the ceiling. "Oh! I got one!" he exclaimed. "Batman or Superman?"

"Batman, of course," you said without hesitation, a warm smile on your face. "But I'm more of a Marvel fan."

"I love Marvel!" Jack practically jumped for joy at your words. "What's your favorite movie?"

"Oh, I could never pick. They're all so good."

Aaron watched his son with a small smile. He placed his hands gently on Jack's shoulder and gave them a squeeze. "Any important questions you have for Y/N?"

The boy pondered again for a few seconds. "Are you a good cook? Daddy is. He makes really good food all the time."

"I think I am," you laughed at Jack's 'important' question. "I like cooking and baking new things. My roommate and I have come up with some good recipes since we've lived together."

Jack smiled wider. He leaned towards his dad and held his hand up to his ear, hiding his mouth from you. "I like her," he attempted to whisper. You heard him from a mile away.

Aaron nodded his head in agreement and repeated the gesture to Jack, his large hand blocking his mouth, cupping around the boy's ear. "I like Y/N, too," Aaron said, his voice in the same whisper yell tone that his son had had moments before. He cleared his throat and turned back towards you, his face serious. "Can you start Monday?"

"That sounds fantastic! Thank you so much!" You stood up from the couch and held out your hand for Aaron to shake.

He followed your motions and stood up, giving you a firm handshake. "I'll be in contact over the weekend with what time you should be here on Monday. Like I said, for the most part my schedule is the same, but there's times where it shifts."

You shook your head in understanding and held out your hand to Jack. "It was nice meeting you. I'm excited to spend so much time with you," you cooed.

Jack grabbed your hand and shook it dramatically, his entire arm moving up above his head and then back down to his waist. You laughed lightly at the wild movements that he was making.

"Let me walk you out," Aaron said, as he held out his hand again motioning towards the door. You grabbed your belongings from the couch before Buster could get to them and headed out to the porch with Aaron following behind you.

Crossing over the threshold onto the porch, you turned back and sent him a small smile. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"No need to thank me." He leaned up against the door frame again. He put his glasses back on, pushing them up against the bridge of his nose before crossing his arms over his chest. "In all that chaos before with the dog, I didn't get the chance to ask you if there was anything specific you wanted to ask me."

"I do have one question actually."

"And that would be?" his voice rang out, the tail end of his sentence being drawn out.

"What do you do for work? I'm curious."

"I'm a professor."

----- author's note: yeah...Hotch is lowkey a smoker in this fic but i mean come on...imagine Hotch with glasses AND smoking...sheesh anyway...hope you enjoyed this chapter!

[lilmissbacon]

Frozen 3 concept

I'mma start off with explaining that I'm not the biggest fan of Frozen and I'm definitely not a fan of Elsa's character in general.

But as much as I love the songs and outfits of the second movie, the inconsistencies and how it never explains how sh🤬 works in the world with magic and such are just infuriating. As well as why the spirit that connects them controls ice which is just a variation of water. And how the Frozen franchise just loves to make Elsa more special within every installment.

I am so very tired of it. So I came up with a way that it could all be fixed and make sense if they make a third movie.

Also to note that Anna and Elsa are supposed to be two halves of the fifth spirit but that's VERY briefly touched in movie (quote: well actually a bridge has two sides and mother had two daughters) and Disney themselves take Elsa as the fifth spirit alone so that's stupid.

Why Elsa specifically controls ice

We all know how we're frustrated with the fact that Elsa is supposed to connect all the elements when she only controls ice.

But let's think about it from another prospective. The first movie is based about the seasons. It's a seasonal theme rather than an elemental theme like in its sequel. So why not bring that back?

The enchanted forest cannot be the ONLY place that has mystical spirits. What if there were three other forests with their own fifth spirits and each fifth spirit represented a season?

And each seasonal spirit's magic is a mix of two elements.

Elsa/Winter: Ice = water + air

Spring: Plants = water + earth

Summer: Lava = earth + fire

Fall: Lightning/Storms = air + fire

This still fits in with the fact that the fifth spirit can play back moments in time as well. Each spirit has their own Ahtohallan. Elsa's is made of ice because it's just frozen water and the water is was plays back those moments in time.

Spring's would be like an island made of plants, fungi and marsh. Plants have water running within them so they can take the form of moments in time like Elsa's ice statues.

Summer's would be a volcano with a river flowing through it. Lava and water can mix to create lava rocks. When doing so the memories within that water would be imbedded into the rocks they form and therefore be able to play moments in time as rock statues.

Autumn's would basically be a fog bank with almost ghostly figures making up the memories since fog is a mist, aka: water. Kinda like the scene where Elsa fights the wind spirit and their powers mix for a moment.

Where the others come from

For this, I decided to look around other lands within that side of the world that has legends of spirits. I decided upon:

Spring = Scotland

Summer = Arabia

Fall/Autumn = Japan

I chose for Arabia to be summer, of course , because it's a desert country so it very hot. Japan is autumn because it's culture and everything just always reminded be of the beauty of fall. And Scotland is spring because that's what was left and when I think of Scotland, I think of it's green forests and plants.

Nothing too deep.

Personalities

You think I'd make Summer hotheaded and spring, giddy and bouncy, right?

No, because you see, as I've stated in another post of mine; Why Frozen Doesn't Work In The Big Four, I explained how Elsa's personality reconciles more with summer. The opposite season of her own.

Elsa is kinda quiet, gentle, diplomatic, practical, worries silently and is angelically innocent (even though she doesn't deserve to be).

All are traits relating to summer. So if her personality is opposed to her season, then it'd be the same for the other fifth spirits.

Spring would be a leader, confident, energetic, true to a cause, dependable, easily irritated and stubborn.

Summer would be reserved, well mannered, a good listener, natural poise and pessimistic.

And autumn would be energetic, tender-hearted, optimistic, friendly and overly talkative.

How the spirits work

I fully believe that the spirits have no physical form but rather inhabit certain things. Basically possession but the spirits don't have control over themselves once they choose a vessel and depending on the solidarity of what their element is, determines what kind of vessel they need.

The wind spirit is said to be a playful spirit and would want to make its own choices. Being an element you can't hold, it doesn't really need a host.

Water is liquid and needs something to be it's host but doesn't necessarily need something alive. Therefore it can inhabit a small animal or it inhabits its own element, hence a water horse.

Fire isn't a solid or liquid but it's not necessarily a gas either. Fire always needs to burn on something in order to burn. Therefore it cannot just make out it's own body like water but it doesn't need a large vessel. Hence, a little salamander.

Earth is the most solid of them all so it would need multiple hosts in order to sustain itself. That's why there are multiple earth giants and not just one like the other spirits.

I believe the spirits don't have control over their actions once they choose a host because all the spirits (besides wind) seem to not know what's even going on most of the time. And that would explain why the spirits didn't get rid of the dam themselves, because their vessels didn't know that was the problem.

I also believe that they need a host to begin with because they are actually susceptible to death. As it has been confirmed that Elsa is NOT immortal and there wouldn't have been a legend of a fifth spirit if people hadn't seen one before.

It would also explain how the spirits drove the citizens out of Arendelle without physically being there; they managed to leave their hosts for a time in order to do so. Along with what the light that Elsa was following at Ahtohallan, was. The fifth spirit was able to sustain itself by staying in its birth place and activated the memory of Elsa's mom singing, to bring Elsa there and when Elsa's dress transforms is when the spirit possesses her.

Why does the fifth spirit need to be human? Because humans are more durable. The fifth spirit doesn't control anything completely solid like rock so it doesn't need multiple vessels but it also controls more than a single element, therefore is too much to figure out/control for just any animal.

That's why it chose a very young child to give it's powers to rather than the person who actually did the deed of saving their enemy. It needs to be someone who will have the time to learn and control their powers by adulthood.

(Despite Elsa not truly being worthy and being a horrible sister, she was already chosen at birth and she at least gets the job done. At everyone else's expense but still.)

Plot

How would the seasonal spirits meet? Why would they leave their homes for this? What brings them together?

The four sided snowflake represents the elements connected to the winter spirit. Every season would have their own version of this. But there are also four seasons just like there are four elements.

So, could there be a fifth spirit for the fifth spirits? A fifth spirit to connect the seasons and if so, what is it? What's their power?

I believe, much like the winter spirit called to Elsa, the ultimate fifth spirit will call all the seasonal spirit's to come together at a single location. Anna would come with Elsa as well, of course, and during their journey, they'd all eventually meet each other along the way.

Eventually Anna would start to feel a little neglected when Elsa keeps talking to / about the other people who also have magic. Anna doesn't wish for magic, but she wishes for Elsa to finally see herself and Anna as equals (because Elsa clearly wouldn't after finding others like herself, let's be real). So Anna goes off to have her own sort of "Show Yourself" moment and is the one to find the location they've been looking for which is where she becomes their fifth spirit; the Aurora Borealis.

It was in one of the original scripts for the first movie that Anna was gonna have the power to control the Aurora Borealis, but then the creators decided that took away from Elsa's agency for self isolation due to her powers.

It's true that Anna having been able to accomplish what she did without powers is one of her best attributes but Anna becoming the light spirit is really the only way she's gonna get any appreciation within the fan base or the disney community. Plus Anna's done all the work to begin with so she deserves it.

With the other spirits being seasonal & elemental, it would only make sense for the one to connect them all would be light.

But all the spirits also have an opposite to balance them out:

Fire | Water

Earth | Air

Winter | Summer

Spring | Autumn

So maybe the reason they were all being called there is because Light's opposite is Darkness and it's plotting to take them all out. They are in charge of keeping balance and darkness wants to create chaos. But you also need darkness for balance, so maybe someone else will be with them through the journey and become the vessel for darkness in order to control it. Because, again, spirits have no control once they have a host.

This could be a possible redemption arc for Hans. We could learn about what he's been through and what truly drove him to be the bad guy because from what we know of his brothers, they were really bad. I think he just really lost a nerve due to unintentional (or intentional) abuse and was trying to prove to his family that he was better than they believed. People who suffer from abuse can be irrational like that.

I think it would be a phenomenal thing for him to overcome his inner darkness while also taking control of the literal spirit of darkness.

Metaphorical-wise it's beautiful.

Art/Designs

I edited the other seasons + Anna off of concept art for Elsa's white dress while Hans is kinda my own creation but I still used his concept art for a base. Everything after that are purely original.

Location they are led to ⬇️

Let me know what you all think 👍

[comebackassholes]

I’ve been lost in the Sterek and Stucky rabbit hole for months and just got back to reading Larry fics last week so here are fics I’ve read and loved!

🍉  What Side Of Love Are You On? by @fallinglikethis Ever since Harry finally made the decision to come out to his mother as bisexual, she’s been foisting women on him left and right, determined it’s just a phase. But when she puts out a personal ad to find the perfect partner for her son, things really get complicated. Suddenly, Harry’s heart is being pulled in two very different directions. On one side is the sweet, caring woman he has fun with, but doesn’t know his mother chose for him. On the other is a man who seems to be his mother’s worst nightmare, but makes Harry’s heart flutter in ways he’s never felt before. When all is said and done, maybe they’ll all learn that when there is no clear path to go down, the best option is to follow your heart. A Because I Said So Au with a bisexual twist.

🍉  Say Something by @kingsofeverything At fifty years old and recently divorced, Omega Harry Styles isn't interested in dating. When his doctor suggests a heat and rut matching service, he signs up out of necessity. It’s the only use he has for an Alpha in his life. Twenty-eight-year-old Alpha Louis Tomlinson aims to change that.

🍉  Missed Connection by @littlelouishiccups Soulmate AU where your soulmate’s first words to you are tattooed on your skin. With a boring and generic soul mark like Hi, Harry is pessimistic he’ll ever find his soulmate or that he’ll realize it when he meets them. But he could always have it worse, like his new friend Louis who had a drunken one night stand with his soulmate a few years ago and woke up the next morning alone.

 🍉 It Feels Different When You’re With Me by Rearviewdreamer Harry fell in love with sign language as a kid. He never imagined the first love of his life would lead him straight to his second. 

🍉  come as you are by @aliensingucci “I think it could be like this all the time,” Harry says. “I know it doesn’t make sense but I think you should consider it. I could make you happy if you let me.” louis is a professor of literature at oxford and harry is his newest and most eager protege. both are caught in a story about forbidden love, loss and second chances, in which one is on the brink of heartbreak and the other comes along when he's needed most.

🍉  Untamed Hearts by @laynefaire It could have been the heat of the summer sun; it might have been the silvered sheen of an early harvest moon. If he dug deep enough, Liam could find every reason ever needed to explain away what happened. In the end, though, it all came down to two meddling friends, a touch of Prince, a bit of Keats, and the moon over the ocean. Its a recipe for disaster. Or love. Probably love.

🍉  i must admit i thought i'd like to make you mine by @disgruntledkittenface Louis fell apart when her ex broke up with her and moved across the country. Just as she’s starting to move on, Zayn comes back to town for their mutual friends’ wedding – with a new girlfriend as her plus one. Blindsided and scrambling to save face, Louis lets herself get talked into a fake relationship with her new friend Harry. Their arrangement makes Louis feel pathetic and embarrassed, but it’s only going to last a few weeks. She just has to get through the wedding – what could happen?

🍉  Follow Your Arrow by @bitter-leaf  Harry was the golden child, blessed in every way; Niall was the charming miscreant, a bad boy; Liam was the future-son-in-law parents of daughters dreamt of, and Zayn was the kid parents wished was their son. But Louis, Harry thought, Louis was the special one. It's senior year and everything is about to change.

🍉  Front porch and one more kiss by @femstyles  A goodnight kiss on a front porch

🍉   We Had Everything by @lightwoodsmagic  “You know Harry’s coming, yeah?” Louis’ fingers twitched, faltering where he was straightening the knot in his tie as he tried to ignore the false nonchalance in Zayn’s voice. He had no idea how he missed the name on the invite list, how he skipped over the initials on the small gifts, didn’t notice the elegant swirl of Harry’s name inked onto an emerald green place card. Or, Louis and Harry fell apart, and Louis' never forgiven himself. He gets a second chance at Zayn and Liam's wedding.

🍉 Live a Thousand Lifetimes by @laynefaire It’s 2025. After secretly writing and producing their first album in ten years, One Direction is weeks away from releasing their first new single and announcing a world tour. With the whirlwind about to begin again, Liam re-evaluates the last ten years - the fame, the money, the people who changed his life forever - and the person who walked away.

🍉 Time Passed by coffinofachimera Louis struggles with their relationship as Harry grows into his identity.

[motleyfuckingcruee]

Rocket Queen

0.7: Unwanted Apology

Henley's P.O.V

It's been two days since that hectic night. Madeline and I managed to get home just before sunrise with the help of Duff and Steven. Luckily, they had a car and offered to give us a lift. Honestly, I don't know how it would've went if they hadn't gave us a ride.

Apparently, Steven gave Madeline his number. She's been calling him nonstop. The only reason I know that is because Jake calls me and complains about it.

"I don't know who she's talking to but it's getting annoying!" Jake told me last night.

I just laughed at him and told him to go to bed. We had school today, so yay. A fucking Monday. To be completely honest, I forgot about the threat that Hyde imposes.

That was, until Hyde came up to me after school, knocking me out of my thoughts from the past few days.

"Hello, Henley," Hyde says, venom in his voice.

I turn around, seeing how bad Hyde's face looks. I cringe at the sight. His face is swollen and purple with bruises everywhere. Damn, Duff sure did do a number on him.

"Hey," I say nervously. God, what does he want with me?

"I haven't seen you since the other night," He says, leaning against the locker behind him. "Tell me, how's your lover boy?"

I blush as I realize he's talking about Duff. His hazel eyes pop into my mind. I really want to see him again. "Uh, he's fine. You gave him a good scratch on his head."

Hyde laughs. "Good. The fucker deserved it."

I try my best to not let my anger flare up. "Duff didn't deserve any of that. I did. It was my fault. Besides, you right about all of it anyway."

Hyde huffs, looking down at his feet. "No I wasn't. I was already drunk and took out the frustration I had on you. You were right about Stephanie. I don't know why I went out with her anyway."

I laugh. "Cause you were lonely?"

"That had to have been it," He responds.

We both laugh for a few moments before growing quiet again.

"I actually came over here to apologize."

I sigh, looking at him skeptically. "I dunno, Hyde."

"I didn't mean any of that. I really did that. If anything, you're the most amazing girl I've ever met," Hyde explains, trying to get me to forgive his harsh words.

"Des mots saouls, des pensees sobres," I respond, grabbing the rest of my books from my locker.

"What?" Hyde laughs, shaking his head. "I didn't know you spoke Spanish."

I laugh, shutting the locker door. "For one, it's French. And it means, "Drunk words, sober thoughts"."

"And what exactly does that mean?"

I sigh, clutching my books to my chest. I fake a smile at him. "It means, yeah, you might have been drunk, but you said those words because of the liquid courage. It gave you the balls to say it to my face. I'm sure you thought all of that about me. And I don't blame you." I sigh, looking down at my shoes. "It's all true." My eyes snap back up at him. I narrow my eyes. "You may have been right but that in no way means I forgive you."

I walk away from Hyde, feeling a headache form. In a way I wish that Friday night never happened. But then again, Madeline never would've met Steven. She really likes him. More than she's ever liked a guy before.

As I walk through the halls, I see my favorite pair of siblings plus Evangeline. Madeline's eyes are wide with happiness as she animatedly talks to Eva about something. I smile at everyone as I stand next to Jake. Madeline is telling Eva all about this awesome outfit she got last week. She's beyond excited about it, which is very peculiar. She's never this happy about clothes. I mean, neither am I unless it's a new Motley Crue shirt that Tommy sent me.

"Hey, Henley," Jake says from next to me, a huge smile on his face.

"Hello, Jacob," I respond formally, causing a smile to appear on his face.

He's quiet for a moment, listening to his sister's high pitched squealing about the perfect shoes she found before tuning her out. "What're you doing tonight?"

"Uh, well, I was probably gonna phone my best friend from L.A. Why?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out or something?" He takes a glance at his sister who's full attention is now on us. "Just us?"

I open my mouth to answer, but Madeline screeches the answer for me.

"She can't!"

"I can't?"

"Yes! We have plans tonight, remember!" She responds, her eyebrows raising. She mouths the word "Stevie" to me without her brother or Eva noticing somehow.

I nod my head, understanding flooding my features. "That's right. Yeah we got plans. Maybe some other time though?"

"Oh," Jake says, looking rather put out. "Yeah, that's fine."

The bell rings, signaling the end of school. Madeline grabs my hand, pulling me out the front doors of this piss poor school. The girl is so happy she's nearly skipping after she links her arm with mine. I laugh at her, shaking my head. This is probably the happiest I've seen her. Stevie must be treating her right.

"So, how's you and 'Stevie" doing?" I ask, nudging her lightly in the ribs.

She giggles a bit at the sound of her new guy's name. "We're doin' awesome. In fact, we have a date tonight."

"Okay, that's nice and all. Don't take this the wrong way, but what does this have to do with me?"

"Because, Duff's tagging along so you are too," She responds, a smile still painted on her cherry red lips.

I laugh, side eyeing her. "When the hell was my Monday night decided?"

"Last night when me and Stevie made the plans," She says, shrugging her shoulders like she didn't just throw me into a situation I probably didn't want to be in.

"Thanks for telling me only hours before we're going out," I say, sarcasm thick in my voice.

"You're welcome," Madeline says, not phased at all. She takes a look at the watch that sits on her wrist. "We have an hour to get ready. You definitely aren't goin' out wearing that."

I look down at my outfit, instantly feeling offended. I'm wearing the newest concert shirt that Tommy sent me, my ripped up blue skinny jeans, worn out combat boots, and an oversized bomber jacket that I'm positive was Tommy's. I used to kinda steal his clothes when I'd go over to his place. What can I say? I like oversized things. Back to the point, I think I look great today.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just, that's not really something you'd wear on a date."

I scoff. "This isn't my date."

Madeline smiles, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Don't act like you don't like Duff."

"'Like' as in I only spent one night with the guy, then yeah sure. I like Duff," I scoff, rolling my eyes. "I barely met him."

"I barely met Stevie," She says, nudging me.

I sigh. "That's cause you don't have problems opening up to people like I do."

"Maybe Duff could change that for you."

I smile at her hopefulness. Between the two of us, she's always been the more optimistic. No matter what she's always got her eyes set on the bright side. Completely opposite of me. I've always been very pessimistic. I'm always skeptical with everything. Hell, I was even skeptical when Madeline wanted to be friends with me. I still don't let her in on parts of my life-such as Athena and Tommy-but I have let her in on a lot. I'm constantly looking at the worst possible outcome. My mom claims that it's because of how I dress. I know for a fact that's bullshit because Tommy nearly dresses the same as me and he's the happiest person I know. Er-well- I guess I should say goofiest.

"Maybe," I say, for once letting myself feel a little bit of hope. Maybe he will be able to change that for me. I just have to be willing to take that leap.

"Anyways!" Madeline exclaims, unlinking our arms. She grabs my hand and starts to almost run, pulling me along behind her. "We have some getting ready to do!"

I laugh, letting her pull me down the empty street. I guess this date can't be that bad.

Just be yourself. Don't let him believe you're something you're not.

Although, after that scary judge of character that night in the bathroom, I think he might already know everything about me.

TAGS:

All fics: @the--blackdahlia @sugar-content @sharon6713 @siliwanoel @charlyallise @lo-bells @lauravic @livingdeadharley @kawennote09 @ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness @hllywdwhre @abbysdogcollar @nikkisixxwiththebass @waywardprincess666 @tommyleeownsme 

@rock-n-roll-soul-frankie @unholy-brat @eak1996 @madsthegroupie @sinningsixx @kissyourrosegoodbyemotley

Duff: @daisystuffsstuff

[shadowalchemistofficial]

One of my favorite rappers is Vinnie Paz. He is a great man. I have had the honor of talking to him a bit off and on a few years back. His words are rough, but he is a man of much complexity. This song shows it. Usually his lyrics are gritty and harsh along with in your face, which I thoroughly enjoy that style. But this goes to show that even a man of such stature and intricate level of lyricism fights also fights demons as well.

[Hook: Yes Alexander]

Darkness comes beneath the dying stars

With all the blood and scars

My mouth will hunt you

With fear - I appear

Nothing will stop me

You crave the creature in me

Shattered, I will capture you

So run

[Verse 1: Vinnie Paz]

My family don't understand what I go through

Under diagnosed for 20 years, ain't never broke through

You ever been in such a fog you don't know you?

Never being able to do the shit you're supposed to?

I wouldn't wish it on anyone that I'm close to

Wouldn't wish it on anybody that I'm opposed to

There's not an accurate diagnosis to show you

Basic neurobiology isn't close to it

I'm watching life as a spectator

I can't help myself, even though I possessed data

It's not a part of my spirit to want to test nature

You think you know what I'm feeling, cousin, then let's wager

I'm having trouble retaining new information

Familiar scenes starting to look foreign- derealization

Everybody tired of being patient

Mama wondering why her baby crying in the basement

Constant rumination just exacerbates it

To the point where I can't even barely narrate it

I've had doctors tell me that my mind is fascinating

But they can't tell me why the sickness has been activated

[Hook: Yes Alexander]

Darkness comes beneath the dying stars

With all the blood and scars

My mouth will hunt you

With fear - I appear

Nothing will stop me

You crave the creature in me

Shattered, I will capture you

So run

[Verse 2: Vinnie Paz]

My head don't work, the meds don't work

But I don't want to be dead, dead don't work

Sleep's the cousin of death, the bed don't work

Maybe I'd rather be dead; dead don't hurt

Realization of an inherent emptiness

Maybe that's another sin for the pessimist

Possibly I am a jinn with a exorcist

I've fallen because I've been on the precipice

Maybe it's my mama's possible regret

Maybe it's a neurological neglect

Maybe it's the reason why water's wet

The angular gyrus and where the frontal lobe connect

But maybe I'm being too complicated for you

Maybe I should just be calm and explain it to you

The psychiatrist thinking they could fool you

Paxil, Zoloft, it's just wasteful to you

I've tried meditation, tried to sit in silence

But how the fuck that help a neurochemical imbalance?

Why would you tell a person that they were childish

Without an understanding of the pain that they surround in?

I always feel foggy somatic detatchment

It's like my body isn't connected to actions

It destroys everything that's affected the fragments

I don't have nothing but senses and sadness

[Bridge: Yes Alexander]

Darkness comes beneath the stars

With all the blood and all the scars

Nothing will stop me

You crave the creature inside

[Hook: Yes Alexander]

Darkness comes beneath the dying stars

With all the blood and scars

My mouth will hunt you

With fear - I appear

Nothing will stop me

You crave the creature in me

Shattered, I will capture you

So run