#I wish I could just.. not have a name. tbh. I feel like that’d be easier

[malachitezmeyka]

I high-key wanna change my name but I also low-key don’t

[midnightsun-if]

Scarlett got me kicking my feet in my air and giggling like a high school girl. Tbh she probably could glare at me and I'd go "hehe oh my god stoooop 🥺😊" and the fact she'll only be nice to the MC when we romance her??? Hand in marriage, can't wait to make my mc oblivious to any of her ice queen act and instead be head over heels like a fool while everyone else is like "ayo?" <3

Scarlett would find that behavior quite puzzling at first, but she’d slowly grow to find it cute. A facet about your MC that’s endlessly charming. As the romance progresses you’d definitely see Scarlett gloating about it too— in her own way. Putting an almost possessive hand on your shoulder when someone makes a comment about it, an icy arch to her brow, as a saccharine smirk tugs her lips upward. It would be the beginning stages of her realizing that you’re hers, and she’d be damned if she didn’t make it official. (Even if it’d take her a bit to get to that stage of actually claiming you.)

She becomes the sweetest of all beans for the MC once romanced though. She’d burn the world to the ground if it meant keeping you by her side, wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone that’d try to harm you, while, in the same breath, would trace nonsensical patterns on your back as she holds you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, promising you eternity and then some.

I can already imagine various scenarios of the MC reigning Scarlett back once she’s romanced:

The crowd is bustling within the small café situated in the quaint town of Avalon, a place that had been established upon Aurelian’s founding. It’s a place you’ve visited multiple times, it being the closest town to the school, and the familiar aroma of coffee, cinnamon, and a tinge of smoke, is a welcomed one.

“You know what I think?” Blake remarks, a leftover crumb from the pastry they had just demolished, having shoved the rest of it into their mouth when the rather lively debate, as you’d like to call it, between themself and your girlfriend began to grow a bit more heated, falls from their lip.

“There’s actually a brain between those ears of yours, Herrera?” Scarlett intones, faux shock written across her face, the arm wrapped around your shoulders tightening. “I can’t quite believe it.”

Blake sneers. “Hardy har har, Beauty Queen.” Violet eyes shift towards you, a small pout tugging their lips downward. “Your girlfriend is being mean to me, Anon. Do something.”

“Do not bring my beloved into this insipid debate.”

“I’ll bring whoever I want into this. I’ll even bring Esmé as a character witness.” The aforementioned waitress, who had been headed towards your table with refills, turns around, partially due to not wanting to get involved and because of the glare that Scarlett had leveled towards her, and quickly disappears back into a throng of incoming patrons. Blake’s pout grows even more because of it. “That’s textbook witness intimidation, Voltaire, and I won’t have any more of it!”

Scarlett arches an elegant brow, clearly unimpressed with your best friend. “Do you wish for me to feel sympathetic to your plight?” She leans back, tugging you closer into her side. “I don’t believe I can, I find this all quite amusing in fact.”

“Anon!”

With a soft sigh— both due to your best friend’s pleading gaze and at the situation in general— you turn towards Scarlett and place a delicate kiss to her sharp jawline, nuzzling closer to the familiar scent of roses and something darker, sultry in a way, that you still don’t know the name of. A soft purr rumbles within her chest due to the action, the reaction eliciting a smile in response from yourself.

“If you play nice, Scar,” you murmur, pressing closer to your girlfriend. “I’ll let you do that thing you like when we get back to your room.”

Scarlett turns darkening eyes towards you, a predatory gleam striking a wave of heat straight to your core, but the low growl that’s intertwined within her smooth voice causes a shiver to rush down your spine. “And if I don’t, my heart?”

You pout, taking a page out of Blake’s playbook. “Then I’ll be upset.” Another light kiss is pressed to Scarlett’s jawline. “Please, baby, for me?”

At your genuine request, Scarlett immediately softens and places a chaste kiss to your temple.

“Anything.”

For a moment, as you stare into the luminescent green of your girlfriend’s eyes, you forget about the world; about Blake, about the other inhabitants of the café, about everything. It’s just you and Scarlett.

Until, of course, your moment is interrupted.

“How in the hell do you do that?” Blake whines, crossing their arms over their chest. “That’s totally unfair. Do you think maybe you could get her to foot our bill too?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t push it, Blake.”

[wibble-wobbegong]

Would you like to see an implied byler sex scene in s5

i really don’t care if we get one or not tbh, i just hate when people talk like it’s some outrageous and atrocious idea. i kinda doubt we’ll get one and that’s fine, i’m not like rooting for it or anything, it’s just a possibility and i wish people didn’t treat it like it would be wrong or gross or bad rep when it would literally be them following in the footsteps of previous relationships at their age (namely jancy, who they’ve been paralleled to a lot). we could get nothing sexual, or something mild like the jopper kiss scene too, and that’d be fine, but it’s when people act like teens experiencing sexual feelings and wanting to express them would feed into a nastier audience and that they’re just too young for it despite being 17 that i have a problem with

only thing i really want to see is for them to get their due We Finally Get To Be Together moment that’s been withheld from them for four seasons and their entire fucking lives. ja ncy was desperate and they’d only been pining for each other for around a year. jo pper, excluding potential small feelings in high school, waited around 2-ish years and they made out sloppy as soon as they had the chance. by ler has been waiting for SO much longer by the time they’re seventeen. let’s say that they were both finally conscious of their feelings sometime during S2 — that’s five years of intense pining and crushing miscommunication. for them to not get any kinda intense scenes removes them from a pattern created by the duffers and doesn’t do their feelings justice, in my opinion. the argument usually made against the boys getting anything more than a gentle peck is that they would be different from lu max, which makes them different overall and this is bad, oversexualized rep. lu max had their first kiss at 13 after knowing each other for a couple months. people will also say it’d be weird because we’ve seen these characters since they were kids. there’s a refusal to let these kids grow up and experience more grown up feelings, like they want them to be innocent children forever and it’s weird

tldr; i don’t necessarily want one, i just have a passionate hatred of the idea that it would be wrong for them to have one

[h0ney-mochi]

honey hiii <33 i remember you mentioned not being so well so i hope you’re alright now?? or at least i hope it got a bit better <33

i’m in school again.. ugh i CAN’T believe my holidays are already gooone :(((( *whining*

i must admit i expected a bit worse though. (i had already bought anxiety pills). things aren’t THAT bad. math is still complicated for me and a bit boring tbh, but psychology is fun as always even if it takes lots of work and effort but it’s worth it tbh. i still do tense up whenever school is mentioned though..

to get stuff off my mind, whenever i’m not studying or hanging out with friends, i’m drawing or writing which i love SO MUCH. like, i finally feel like i’m being a tiny bit productive somehow?? also i’m going back to my bookclub today, i can’t wait to see my friends there <33 i missed them so much man. a shame we only see each other at the bookclub cuz i really like them a lot. there’s this boy who’s one year younger than me and we have this kinda playful rivalry i’d say, like we always tease each other and call each other names and stuff and idk i love it. oh and of course there’s this girl jkdhsjs <333 we used to talk about manga after the bookclub, she usually asked me to spoil tpn for her cuz she liked spoilers. can’t wait to see her again <3

also i’m trying to learn how to play the guitar. i can play the piano, kinda, but i really really want to play the guitar because.. idk it just feels like something that’d suit me and i like the idea of saying i’m a guitarist. also my friend (the one who came to sardinia with me this summer) can sing and she promised me she’d form a band with me as soon as i’d learn how to play the guitar :DD so i really gotta learn cuz that sounds AMAZING. i just gotta wait for that time of the day when my family isn’t here so i can practice without them hearing how bad i still am /hj

(my guitar is a classical guitar. i do have an electric guitar, my dad’s, actually, but my headphones don’t have a cable so i can’t connect them to the guitar jdhdhd)

i can’t afford actual lessons because i already have figure skating and those other things so adding a music teacher would be too much. ugh if only i had a real job this isn’t gonna stop me though!! amy macdonald learnt by herself through yt tutorials, and cavetown is self taught as well, so i guess i could try too! :)

still struggling with school though. i think my teachers’ expectations are the issue but i’m not gonna vent dw <33

yours

breaker anon~<3

Omg that sounds lovely!!! Guitar is a fancy instrument and I wish you luck with it! Just don't give up at the first mistakes you do :D I'm sure you'll do it. And ohhhh, the band. That'd be so cool!!!

Our school doesn't have fancy clubs like that, ughhhhhhhh... it sounds so fun! If you guys meet only once a month, then the wait is definitely worth it, each meeting can be something :)))

Yeah, holidays gone and school back is GRRRHHHHH sad, but it'll be alr! You can make more great memories here and there, plus education is needed, even if it's a pain in the ass lol. It's good to hear that things aren't going too bad - math is awful, yep, but what will you do? Good that you've got another thing that you enjoy — even if it can be difficult ^^

Yeah, I can understand. Others' expectations can be really pressuring. But it'll be okay, you just do what you can do- your best !

[kaydenverse]

paperwork

ghost x reader x soap

18+ MINORS DNI

genre: smut with a little bit of fluff

word count: little over 3k

a/n: this is my first smut in at least a year or so but i thought of this out of nowhere and cause there’s so few polyam ghostsoap fics i’m now obligated to write it. this is also my first time posting like a longer writing on here so apologies if it looks weird? also i did get a bit lazy with the end ngl, my bad. lower case is intended.

this is a gender neutral fic, they/them pronouns are used and there’s no specification of genitalia!

the readers call sign is “halo” and they’re a very skilled sniper on the task force.

content warnings: there’s plot to this? i think?, just filth for majority of this tbh, there’s a bits of tooth rotting fluff throughout tho, lots of pet names, degradation like a lot tbh but there’s praise sprinkled in, established polyam relationship, i believe in switch ghost and switch soap supremacy, edging, overstimulation, spit, begging, mask kink if you squint, all three of you are whipped BAD, uhh i think that’s all enjoy!

-

you would like to say you don’t know how you got here but then you’d be lying.

you know damn well that it’s both yours and johnny’s brattiness that’s got you here and you’re glad as hell it did if you’re being truthful.

first, there’s johnny.

he’s laid propped up with his back against the headboard of the bed in nothing but his blue boxer briefs and his hands gripping the sheets as he tries his absolute best not to touch you.

then there’s you who’s on your knees in between johnny’s legs that are bent in front of him and spread to make room for you. your cheek is squish against the scottish man’s lower abdomen due to simon having both your wrists pinned to your lower back and your ass propped up.

now, simon, he’s behind you staring dead into johnny’s eyes as he rolls his hips ever so slowly into yours. the teasing pace draws a pathetic whine out of you and johnny’s face flushes at the sound.

as much as johnny wants to touch you, he keeps his hands to himself and stares right back at simon through that skull mask of his as if you weren’t even there drooling like a cock-drunk idiot all over his stomach.

“i’m impressed, mctavish,” simon’s voice sounds strained as if he’s fighting off a moan. “thought you’d touch them by now.”

and johnny does want to touch you. in fact, he wants to touch you so badly he could cry. but, he’s trying to prove to simon that he can listen, that he can be good.

johnny doesn’t attempt to hide his desperation though because he knows both you and simon would see right through him. you both know him too well for him to try that.

“you gave me orders, l.t., i'm just followin’ them.” the words sound breathless leaving johnny and he can’t bring himself to care much. simon’s mask is pushed up to the bridge of his nose so johnny has a clear view of the smirk that stretches across his face.

“what a good boy, hm?” simon leans down and kisses up your spine. the kiss he gives the scar on your right shoulder you’d gotten on a mission a while back is noticeably a tad longer than the other kisses. “he’s being such a good boy, isn’t he, sweetheart?” you yelp a little when he bites down on your shoulder. a part of you wishes he’d bite hard enough to draw just a little blood.

that’d really drive you wild.

you whine, wiggling your ass desperately in an attempt you try to get him to start fucking into you again. “please, please simon, i’m so close-“

“i asked you-“ simon slid out of you completely, leaving you empty and coming down from your high yet again. “a fuckin’ question, didn’t i, doll?” now you’re the one who wants to cry.

“yes, good! he’s being so good!” you whine in frustration, looking up at johnny with the most desperate look he’s ever seen you give him. he wants to feel bad, he really does, but watching you nearly burst into tears after simon has been edging you for a full half hour has him far too excited.

“he’s being better than you at following orders right now, ” he shrugs as he lightly skates his fingers up your spine. “a first.” the taunt in his voice makes you clench around nothing.

if you weren’t so scatterbrained right now you would’ve bantered right back at him but, alas, there’s nothing going on in that pretty little head of yours except desperation and the need to cum.

johnny just now realizes how hard he’s breathing as well as the fact that if simon keeps this up he’ll come without being properly touched. it’s not helping that you’re squirming, almost frantically, right over johnny’s crotch. ghost lets out a laugh at the pleading look soap tosses him.

“now maybe if you two weren’t such brats i wouldn’t have to teach you lessons like this.”

-

the three of you had gathered in ghost’s office on your lunch breaks just to be around each other for a bit since each of you were busy doing your own paperwork that needed to be done. you and soap sat in the cushioned chairs facing his desk and you all munched away on your sandwiches.

soap did most of the talking and you commented here while ghost just listened. soap can never stick to one topic for long before he’s onto something else but you don’t mind, neither does ghost. you find it cute in all honesty. you’re both his favorite listeners.

you would’ve lost track of time while intensely listening to soap ramble on if ghost hadn’t glanced at the tiny clock in the corner of his computer screen.

“apologies on interrupting your rant of your least favorite lunch meats,” no one else but you and soap could’ve caught the playfulness hidden beneath ghost’s deadpan sounding words. “but it is time for you two to return to your jobs and not bother me anymore.”

soap groans and you slouch in your chair, also making a mental note of johnny’s passionate dislike for processed ham. “paperwork is boring though, ghost.” you give a poor attempt of pouting at him. “and you love when we bother you.” a true statement.

“boring or not you still have to do it, halo.” ghost leans back in his chair and hums, tugging his mask back down over the lower half of his face. he rests his arm back on the armrest, mirroring his other arm, and his legs are slightly spread.

what a sight.

you don’t even have to look over at soap to know his thinking the exact same thing. for a split second, both of you also think how you’ve scored one of the hottest men alive.

like, seriously.

wow.

“and same applies to you too, soap.” ghost says before the scot could say anything. the small tilt of ghost’s head simply makes him all the more attractive.

soap groans again but still stands up and stretches a little. “i guess we should get going and do our work.” he laughs softly and you stand up as well. “it would be nicer to be doing you though.” he winks at the lieutenant.

the joke is so corny you can’t help but laugh a little. but still, he’s speaking both of your truths.

“get going and i’ll consider letting you do so later.” ghost is quick to reply but he keeps his expression unreadable. he watches both sets of his partners eyes light up and shakes his head. “always need to be rewarded, can’t go a day without it.” he tuts loudly so you both hear his teasing and his shake is head.

“i will have it finished and on your desk within an hour, sir.” soap grins, leaning across the desk to press a kiss over ghost’s mask where his mouth would be. you follow suit and ghost’s heart nearly bursts at the gesture. he won’t ever tell either of you that

but he doesn’t need to, you both know already. you know him.

“i’ll have mine in 45.” you challenge and grin. soap rolls his eyes as he turns towards you, cupping your face in one hand.

“oh, you’re on.” soap smirks at you before kissing you gently. you don’t let him pull back, though. when he does try to pull back you chase after his lips and kiss him again. this only happens twice before the soft whine you let out helps soap catch onto your silly little plan.

he keeps his lips on yours and cups your other cheek while your hands go to his hips, thumbs digging into them just the way he likes. you let him nudge you backwards so you’re sat on the edge of ghost’s desk with your back to the masked man.

you both just go at it, for lack of better words.

ghost just watches. he makes no sounds and keeps his reaction hidden exceptionally well. the only time he moves is to catch the pencil holder you nearly knock over when shoving a hand onto the desk to keep soap from knocking you over with the force of his kisses.

ghost straights the pencil holder, slotting a pen that fell out of the container back in before he finally speaks. “paperwork. get on it. now.”

you two fly apart like you’ve been caught, like ghost hadn’t just be sitting directly behind his very misbehaved partners kissing intensely for a full three minutes.

“yes, sir.”

“i’m on it, l.t.”

-

“what? now you wanna give me puppy eyes and beg? now you feel sorry for what you started?” the stare simon gives johnny almost makes the scot nearly moan, “or maybe i should place the blame on you?” he leans back down and rests his chin on your shoulder, “i mean,” his voice drops an octave or two as he plants a kiss behind your ear. “you are the one who started up that little stunt. johnny was just being a good boy and following along.”

now, both you and johnny know the ‘no one is allowed to cum until i say’ rule is in place at the moment but my god, was simon making it incredibly difficult just from his words alone. degradation with just the lightest sprinkle of praise gets you and soap ecstatic and simon takes full advantage of that constantly.

“ooh you’re so worked up, si. glad my plan worked.” you’ve finally pieced enough of your brain back together to smart mouth again.

johnny almost shakes his head at you, almost tells you ‘now we’re really in for it.’ but simon is quick to manhandle you onto your back and latch a hand around your throat. johnny whines from the pressure of your back against his clothed, leaking cock and you whine from the pressure simon puts on your throat. a shameless moan rips from you when simon gives a little squeeze.

simon leans in close to your face, giving you a stare that could kill. “were you just that desperate for me to fuck you that you have to go around plotting stupid little fuckin’ schemes for it to happen, hm? need me to fuck you as a reward for everything? must want me to if you had to come up with a plan to make sure it’d happen.”

and just like that, you’re gone again. every single thought being replaced by one’s of simon and johnny, nothing more.

your whole body jerks when simon’s free hand reaches back down between your legs and he uses his middle and ring finger to slowly trace over your hole, both to tease you and as a subtle way of checking that you’ve still got enough wetness to take him again. of course you’d still have enough though, he’s got you so worked up you’re shaking and johnny has tears of desperation starting to prick at his eyes.

“open.” the hand around your throat moves up and his thumb taps your lips gently. you obliged and simon leans down and spits directly into your mouth. you swallow with no hesitation.

johnny’s hips immediately buck up against your back at the sight, “fucks sake.” he breathes out and drops his head back to look at the ceiling.

“eyes on me, sargent.” simon almost growls. johnny hesitates for a second before looking back down at the two of you. it takes everything in john “soap” mctavish's body to not cum on the spot.

ghost has let you sit up a little and leave various hickies and bite marks along his chest. he’s let his guard down just a little and johnny already knows what he’s gonna ask. “i’m good.” he breathes.

“same.” you murmur as you bite down on that spot on simon’s neck that always makes him groan. with that, as quick as the soft moment came, it’s gone again and simon presses two fingers into you. “simon!” you’re caught off guard and whine.

“they’re so fuckin’ wet.” simon hums to johnny who smiles a little. you love it when they talk about you like you’re not even there.

“i bet,” johnny almost reaches out to pet the top of your head but immediately stops upon the warning look simon gives him. it takes simon all but two minutes before you’re whining and bucking your hips the way you do just before you cum.

this time, a tear or two does slide down your face when simon’s fingers leave you empty again. you want to beg, to plead with the lieutenant but all you do is pant and shake. “so pretty.” simon pats your right cheek twice, making sure to smear some of your wetness on your cheek. johnny chuckles when you toss simon a very annoyed glare.

“please.” you manage. the wrecked tone you say it in actually works and simon sits up, tugging you a tad closer to him, so your upper back is pressed right against johnny’s bulge. the movement makes johnny groan again but simon ignores him. why does johnny find simon ignoring him right now so hot?

“since you asked so nicely, darling,” simon hums, finally sliding himself back into you. johnny isn’t sure if he’d rather be in your position or simon’s as he watches simon pick up the pace, fucking into you fast and hard.

you’re falling apart and falling apart fast. you’re moaning, whining, whimpering, just the full show. you should be embarrassed at how quickly you approach your release (four minutes. still better than johnny’s record of about 25 seconds one time.) but it’s been ripped away from you so many times in the past 45 minutes you don’t care in the slightest. when simon shifts his angle just right and nudges into that perfect spot, you know you’re done for.

“can i,” you pant, clawing at simon’s bicep and squirming back against johnny who looks like he’s about to lose it. “please, sir.”

now you knew, you knew, what that title does to him in moments like this. it’s near impossible for him to not want to give you everything and more when you pathetically beg him like that.

“fuck, yes, go ahead let go for me.”

simon barely gets all the words out before you’re arching up into him and your orgasm hits you like a fucking bus. you’re swearing up a storm, simon and johnny’s names mixed in as well.

behind you, johnny is not-so-subtly rutting against your upper-back. simon glares up at johnny for breaking his order to stay but that look, that glare, that’s what has johnny smacking face first into his high only moments after yours. simon should’ve known that would happen.

johnny’s hands fly into your hair and he grabs which punches a high pitched whimper from your chest.

simon just knows he’s going to think about this exact moment frequently for the rest of his life.

simon stills his hips and sits up back on his haunches he watches you make a mess around his cock and johnny make a mess of his briefs behind you.

“where’s my thank you, darling?” simon hums as he slowly drags his hands up your sides. the touch is overwhelming but a good kind of overwhelming.

“th- oh god,” you breathe out when he pinches one of your nipples. “thank you.” you feel boneless under simon as he hums happily at your response. you can feel johnny panting behind you as well as the sticky wetness of his release on your upper back.

“johnny boy lost.” you giggle lightly after a minute or two of catching your breath and putting your brain back together. you tilted your head back to look up at said johnny boy behind you. he’s got a blush that’s spreading down to his shoulder making the freckles that dot them stick out even more.

johnny is staring up at the ceiling and his entire body is buzzing. “uh-huh,” is all he can think to say to which you and simon smile at. you swear your heart skips a beat when you catch a glimpse of simon’s dimples.

simon leans over you and presses a kiss onto the center of johnny’s chest. “hey, i wanna kiss him.” you grumbled and nudged at simon to get off (and out) of you. simon plants a quick kiss on your lips before completing your request. you flip over and you’re on johnny in a second, the both of you smiling and laughing into each other’s mouths.

simon just contently watches for a few moments before tapping your hip. “oi, my turn.” he doesn’t mean for that to come out so playful, wanting to keep up the tough guy act right now, but he can’t help it. you roll onto your side next to johnny. johnny waves simon over and pats his thighs. simon shuffles forward and straddles the other man’s hips.

johnny looks so small with simon seated in his lap despite them being near the same height. the scottish man has to tilt his head up to get a proper look at his boyfriend’s partially masked face.

“you’re so pretty, baby.” johnny’s accent sounds thick as he presses a kiss to simon’s throat. simon only hums, a little worried that if he spoke he’d sound whiny. “take care of me and our lovely darling so well.” he wraps his arms around the lieutenant and plants more kisses around his collarbone.

you watch that switch in simon’s mind flip and he’s suddenly all mush in johnny’s hold, a soft whine slipping from his lips when johnny bites over one of the hickies you had left on him.

only you and johnny know how to flip that switch.

simon is only ever this vulnerable and relaxed around you two. his two. soap and halo, johnny and you. you’re the only two who can just make him melt on command. just piece the right words together in that gentle tone of either of yours and he’s done for, down for the count. he’s just ready to do anything either of you ask. that makes you smile as you watch them.

simon leans down and kisses johnny before any further praises are said. johnny immediately rocks his hips into simon’s and they moan into each others mouths. they start off a little slow but it doesn’t take long before they’re both desperate and rutting against each other like their lives depend on it.

you’re perfectly content just watching them fall apart against each other, soft groans and hushed praises filling the room.

you love it.

you love them.

crazy that your distressing, life-risking job has led you to the most perfect people you could’ve ever imagined.

you’re pulled back out of your thoughts when simon lets out the prettiest whine as he cums onto johnny’s stomach and his own. johnny had gotten riled up again and was shaking through his second orgasm.

you roll over to the bedside dresser and fetch a washcloth out of the drawer. johnny takes it and gently wiped off the both of them and tries to wipe you off but with a 6’4” soldier dramatically slumped against him in his lap it’s not the easiest.

“such a baby.” you snort at simon and take the towel from him instead so you can wipe yourself down. simon, affectionally, flashes his middle finger at you before he finally rolls off of johnny and squishes himself between the two of you.

the three of you lay in comfortable silence for a few minutes, basking in each other’s presence and getting comfortable cuddled together. you’re the first to speak again, “you know, i don’t think i deserved to be edged that long.” you flip onto your stomach as you look over at them.

“oh you’ve handled longer, don’t complain.” simon teases and he’s right. just a month or so ago johnny had you in tears after a full hour of denial and simon just watched from a seat in the corner of the room. johnny laughs in agreement.

“and you love it so now you really can’t complain.” johnny grins when you flip him off. simon snorts and tugs his mask all the way back down.

“are you not hot right now, mate?” soap taps the cheek of ghosts mask.

“i am.”

“then why didn’t you take it off?”

“cause you’ve both got a thing for it, especially you, sweetheart.” ghost nods towards you. well…he’s got you both there.

“well, you’ve got a thing for my accent.” johnny defends himself.

“and my hands.” you hum, drumming your fingers on simon’s bare chest. simon doesn’t bother to defend himself because you’re both right.

you prop yourself up on your elbows. “hey, how come he got off so easy?” you huff. johnny had only been instructed to keep his hands to himself and stay still. he ended up breaking both those rules in the end

“cause he turned his papers in at the time he promised. one hour. you took, two hours to finish yours.”

“i got distracted!”

“distracted by what exactly?”

“…thinking about you and johnny…”

“typical.”

[realcube]

haikyuu!! boys with a s/o that becomes clingy/affectionate while drunk

characters: kyōtani, kenma, iwaizumi, matsukawa and bokuto

thank you anon for this marvellous request mwah

ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!

tw// drinking, suggestive themes, sexual references, swearing

Kentarō Kyōtani

kyōtani was used to having a cool, laid-back s/o who was just as awkward about physical touch as he was 

i mean, that’s kinda a part of the reason he liked you so much - so y’all could get over your awkwardness together

so imagine his surprise when his usually level-headed, calm s/o came stumbling out of the club, a blubbering mess and threw themselves into his arms, wailing something about a maths test

THE AMOUNT OF EMOTIONS THAT FLOODED HIS MIND IN THAT ONE MOMENT OMFG ADFGHJKL

he was like ‘omg why are they touching me? i kinda like it- wait are they crying? tf? i ain’t ever seen them cry before- should i help them? lord everyone is looking at us now. so what the fuck do i do- AYE DON’T TOUCH ME THERE’

so he had no choice but to dip with you flung over his shoulder lol

he took you back to your shared apartment and forced you to drink some water and instead of ordering a take-out, he just gave you his leftover burrito which he took to the club smh

it was probably cold 

but that was the best he could think of at the time bc he simply needed to shut you up with food bc the alcohol in your system was causing you to become especially touchy, hence resulting in kyōtani getting especially aroused

but the last thing he’d do is fuck you while you’re drunk and i firmly believe that despite the fact kyōtani is a bit of a lout - he still has like a basic moral compass

but i mean if you kept being so damn suggestive then it was gonna be a lot harder for him to resist his urges

you were rubbing him up and shit, calling him every pet name in the book so ofc he just stuck a burrito in your mouth and went ‘stfu 😡’

the painful part was that he was silently enjoying it too (┬┬﹏┬┬)

(though, he was red from blushing lol, not anger) 

and he wasn’t used to it either so obviously he was gonna get flustered, i mean, everything was happening all at once

oh and you told him ‘i love you’ and he literally combusted like lord have mercy on this man 

just that morning you were calling him your ‘annoying rat boyfriend’ (jokingly, ofc) and now you love him?-

that wasn’t the first time you told him that you loved him but he was still blushing none the less 

and he stammered out a ‘love you too’ PRAYING that you wouldn’t remember any of this the following day

anyway, he cuddled you to sleep and railed you as soon as you sobered up - the end ❤

Kenma Kozume

pov: you’re kenma happily being a wallflower in the club then your s/o approaches you, demanding for you to fuck them 

- ok, end of POV - 

anyway, your speech was slurred so kenma wasn’t really sure if that was what you were asking him to do but if it was, he would’ve happily obliged if it wasn’t for the fact you were clearly drunk

mans was blushing though

bc y’all hardly ever do it but now - all of a sudden - you were tightly wrapped around him, garbling erotic threats into his ear

kenma was worried at first but you were like..really weak

so it wasn’t hard to get you off his torso, usher you out of the club and grip your hand as he ordered a taxi 

also kenma had read enough wattpad fanfictions to know how to deal with someone while they’re drunk 

but none of those fanfictions ever mentioned a single thing about how to deal with yourself while your partner is drunk

like seriously..he was in pain

both from the throbbing erection he had and the aching embarrassment he felt - both stemming from the fact you tried to give him a lap dance in taxi ✋ please oml

anyway, he took you back to his apartment and insisted that you have a few slices of the left-over pizza in the fridge along with a glass of water

after you changed into your pyjamas, you had clearly sobered up slightly as you could now compose coherent sentences

but that wasn’t any better for him bc now you were draped over him, whimpering into his ear about how much you love him

‘i’m so lucky to have you, kenma. i love you so much. you remind me of my first cat - you’re such a cat- i mean, blessing..you’re such a blessing.’ 

ngl, at that point he would be at a loss for words, just deciding to hug you until you fall asleep

like he finds it so cute that you’re finally opening up to him about how you feel as you’re usually quite composed and restrained 

but also- what does he do now? 

you eventually fell asleep in his arms and the next day, you woke up to kenma having made breakfast and telling you how much he adores you which was..confusing, to say the least

he told you about how you acted when you were drunk and to say you were embarrassed would be an understatement 

also, he’ll tease you about it for the rest of your life ;)

Hajime Iwaizumi

literally all you had to do was send him a text like ‘iwa...,,.,...ily so mycj ❤’’ and he’s already waiting in the line to get into the club lol

he marches in there, finds you, grabs your hand and drags you home 

let’s hope that your friends know what iwaizumi looks like so they don’t have to just watch a random guy haul you out the club-

and tries to act all like angry iwaizumi >:( but when you are trailing behind him, muttering about how amazing he is, he becomes more like angy iwa grrr (* ￣︿￣)

by that, i mean that angry iwaizumi would bring you home and lecture on how irresponsible it is to get so intoxicated 

but angy iwa just takes care of you but with a disapproving scowl 

and angry iwaizumi would make nasty, bitchy remarks about how inappropriate your outfit is 

while angy iwa would be like ‘babe, your outfit is lovely but maybe wear something different next time, idk....’

either way, he takes good care of you 

he makes sure you eat (and he cooks good food btw - he doesn’t make you eat leftovers lmao) 

he lets you change into more comfortable clothes

he ensures that you don’t die in the shower 

and he forces you to go to bed

but all of that is rather difficult when you’re clinging to him like your life depends on it, raving on about how sweet of a boyfriend he is and covering his face sloppy kisses

his original plan was to go train some more in his gym (yes, there is a gym in y’alls house-) but when you were peppering his cheek in kisses, begging him to stay with you for whatever reason, of course he didn’t have the balls to leave

 so he ended up laying like a log in bed as you cuddled up to him like koala, resting your head in his chest and allowing him to run his hand through your hair as you slept

in that moment - as he stared down at your tranquil figure - he realised how grateful he was for moments like these, as he finally got see a side of you that he knew you’d almost never exhibit when you’re sober

like yeah, you often tell him how much you love him but he can always tell that it’s as if you’re setting aside your pride to say such a thing but now, you’re gushing on about it with the most genuine look in your eyes, he can tell that you’re being completely sincere 

and to say that he adores it would be an understatement 

so yeah, you were kind of a pain while drunk but you were also the most adorable thing that iwaizumi had ever laid his eyes on (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Issei Matsukawa

ok so the only reason matsukawa wasn’t getting drunk with you was bc the first time y’all got drunk together he got fined for public indecency and you got done for public intoxication

so you decided that it was best (for your wallets) if you took turns getting tipsy

emphasis on ‘tipsy’ bc you both went to the bar together (along with a few friends) and you promised matsukawa that you’d only have a few drinks 

so please explain to him why he is now having to carry you bridal style out of the bar because you are too hammered to walk properly 

and he was kinda grumpy bc he had to leave his friends mid-conversation bc not only were you pestering him but also, the erotic things you were whispering in his ear caused him to get a boner

and he was getting weird looks from people as he carried you home but that was the least of his problems tbh- he didn’t even notice lol

the biggest issue on his mind rn was the fact that you made him hard yet you can’t help him bc you’re drunk smh 

like he was tempted at first bc you seemed down to do it but he quickly came back to reality and realised how morally incorrect that’d be 

so he was mumbling curses the whole way home just to tune you out bc if he paid any more attention to the racy promises you were muttering in his ear- he’d explode

he’s alright at taking care of you like he isn’t iwaizumi’s level of caring but he’s a close second, i mean he’s gotten drunk plenty of times so he knows the basics

he was like ‘drink water idk lol ’

anyway, once he handled himself he wasn’t too fazed by your lustful advances

and he was so smug about it too deadass like ‘keep talkin’ me up, (y/n), you ain’t getting shit until you’re sober.’

smh ANYWAY he thinks you’re so charming when you’re like lovey-dovey drunk but SO annoying when you’re horny drunk bc like- he can’t get some (T_T)

Kōtarō Bokuto 

best for last 👌

ok anyway he’s an athlete and he doesn’t need alcohol to have a good time- he’s forever drunk tbh- drunk on life :)

so while you’re getting hammered with your pals, he’s doing stupid shit while sober lol

once you both rendezvous outside the club to head home and you’re absolutely steamin- he’s just like ‘hi, babe! how’s your night been?’

SO OBLIVIOUS OML

anyway, he drives back to y’alls house and since you’re fatigued at first, you spent 90% of the car ride sleeping

but when you get home, more awake, you’re all up on him

but you’re not like sensual drunk- more like..emotional drunk but with love 🥺

so basically you are sobbing into his chest about whatever and bc he is an such empath he will start crying too, or at least get a bit emotional 

you could say something like, ‘omg, bo. i hardly get to see you because you’re at work so often- i wish i could spend more time with you. i miss you so much’  ╯︿╰

and he would deadass reply whole-heartedly while weeping into your shoulder, ‘I’M QUITTING VOLLEYBALL, (Y/N)!!’

(ok, so maybe he was a bit tipsy too- but like..definitely not has drunk as you)

he has no idea where to start when it comes to taking care of you but he tries (´◡` ‘) 

at the very least, he ensures that you don’t having any more alcohol and that you don’t die somehow 

he’s v overprotective though 

you could be getting a fork to eat your instant-noodles with and he’ll be like 

‘apologies ✋ but i cannot allow you to handle such a dangerous weapon while intoxicated. maybe eat with a spoon instead, idk.’ /h

other than that, he just cuddles you to sleep and deals with you in your badly hungover state the next day

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[wyrdle]

Yuri Survives AU

(or at least until I can think of a new name lol)

Decided to make a proper text post exploring my thoughts about Tiger and Bunny 2 + rationale for keeping Yuri alive + tiger and bunny helping him in secret.

Spoilers abound of course!

Basic thoughts about Ep 20/Ep25: What a beautifully devastating episode! I think this ep very clearly, was showing how killing Mr Legend truly affected Yuri. Yuri himself knows rationally that it was out of self defence, but there’s plenty of guilt, so much so that his mind conjures hallucinations of his father to hurl abuse at him and call him a murderer. (Also, him experiencing so much torn up feelings about this death that he creates Lunatic to enact “justice” on others, of course. AKA “I wasn’t wrong back then and I am not wrong now!” is Yuri’s extremely toxic means of justifying his father’s death.)

Anyway, I think Olga, who had been hurling accusations at him, and her death was very much needed for him to clear his head and truly shake up his ideas about “justice”. To quote the Mr Legend vision, which is and always has been Yuri’s guilty conscience tbh, there are so many holes/inconsistencies in his idea of justice by death. In this ep, Yuri’s ideas are fully shaken, and I think he’s very much on the road of accepting the distinction between:

He was not wrong for killing his father

His actions as Lunatic were wrong, and Yuri does feel some sense of remorse for his actions. 

I think that second point requires a bit more reinforcement from the show, so that’s what I’ll accept as my fanon. As in, I wish there were more scenes of Yuri poring over his victim’s files, data, evidence etc. Basically stuff that’d tell us that Yuri doesn’t enjoy any of what he did, made sure that the evidence that these were terrible/horrible people was fool proof, and through the death of his mother, realised the futility/cruelty of his “justice”/actions as Lunatic.

This is still very early stages though, and shaky, hence why he still flies over to kill the Mayor despite the character development, I suppose. I’m not a huge fan of the whole “this was my voice afterall”, because it’s vague and I *guess* you could spin it as Yuri realising he doesn’t actually want Lunatic/Vigilante Murderer etc. but eh. Him helping out Tiger and Bunny though, I think makes sense. Lol idk this episode was just whacky. I think I’d have preferred to have Lunatic just silently helping tiger and bunny, none of the mayor stuff etc.

Anyway, I do think Yuri’s suicide makes sense, though probably better with some tweaks to the build up to it, because I see it as: Lunatic’s final act being to purge Lunatic, a criminal.

Again, getting it through to Yuri that death is not the answer to criminals is a tough one, but he’s getting there. It’s an admission that Yuri was indeed, wrong, to have killed criminals as Lunatic, and a true sign of his remorse over the whole thing. For a character to redeem themselves, they need to show remorse/regret over their actions. I think this death would be suited, if they’d led up to it better as opposed to Tiger + Bunny praising him etc. I’d have preferred seeing some insight into Yuri’s thoughts more, rather than the hero’s observations.

ANYWAY. This brings me to why I made my AU (besides yuri being my fave lol)

Getting rejected from the flames of Tartarus (suriving his fire-suicide) is probably another big thing for Yuri, because it’s first hand realising why people like him (criminals/people who have done wrong whom he had killed mercilessly), should not be killed. Who better than Tiger and Bunny to hammer that into his head lol. Also, I think it’s fascinating for both Tiger and Bunny to question the usefulness of yeeting criminals into prison. From this season, some of the incompetencies of the prison system/police were being shown, but not addressed fully psft. Yuri/Lunatic in particular seemed like a rational villain to T&B, and someone who was worth talking out of things. Basically: There’s a whole lot of good Yuri can still do, to try an atone for what he’s done. He can never erase it, that’s true, but living and learning from it is better than whatever miserable existence he once had.

I much prefer the narrative of Yuri surviving his suicide then growing and thriving, rather than never reaching this low-point/realisation NOR completely being killed off. One, it’s very much a confirmation of his remorse for his actions, and Two, a very important tipping point for him to finally put Lunatic to rest and focus on living well+doing good to atone.

Also him having two different scars to signify his character development? Delicious. Anyway that’s my very rambly essay, I hope it makes sense XD

[caramelcal]

You can’t sit

Request:  Anonymous said:omg Can I Sit? was so cute sofmsmfmadmandma can a make a lil request based on it? like it’s their usual thing sitting together since that day, BUT one day nat arrives and somebody sat on her seat? retired assassin mode activated? 🥴

Word Count: 1.3k

a/n: OMGGGG, THIS!!!! this request, wow. amazing. i literally wrote can i sit back so long ago but yes, of course you can make a request! i’m definitely going to be taking more nat requests now omg, also wanda?? steve?? eye- oh lordy just anyone tbh 

Also, just to clear something up, at the end it speaks about y/n waiting for nat to do something, that’s cause you’re too scared even though you know nothing bad would happen. (Trying to keep this ague but informing, it isn’t working)

Natasha walked towards the small coffee shop with a smile on her face, maybe a slight bit too excited to see you. You both had been meeting up at the coffee shop ever since, but the excitement buried in the pit of your stomachs never seemed to go away no matter how normal the meet-ups became. It was a nice feeling, talking into the late hours of the day, talking over the phone, and sending each other little flirty and joking messages.

The other avengers found out two months after you and Natasha exchanged phone numbers. Natasha, who was normally void of any emotion on her face couldn’t help the smile erupting on her face one time as she checked her phone during a break from training and, as usual, Tony felt inclined to ask. Despite Natasha shrugging it off, after a lot of careful watching, it became pretty obvious as to why Nat was suddenly 'too' smiley.

“So Nat,” Tony had asked, a sly smirk on his face as Natasha’s green eyes broke away from her phone and up to the billionaire, “Who’s the lucky guy?”

Clint tried to hide the laugh that traveled up his throat, it was very obvious that Natasha was not into men. Sure, she hadn’t outwardly said so towards anyone but Clint or brought a girl home, but you could just tell. Natasha placed the phone down on her lap, crossing her arms over her chest, “Why would you think there was a guy?”

“Come on,” Tony drawled, sassily rolling his eyes before he pointed towards the phone in her lap, “The smiles, constantly checking your phone. Sure, you didn’t really participate in conversations to begin with but at least you acted like you were listening. We’re pretty interesting people y’know, Natalia, but clearly, the guy on your phone is much more interesting.”

The rest of the avengers watched on, some sitting silently awaiting Natasha’s answer, Peter with wide eyes at the semi-interrogation and Steve with a raised eyebrow, completely oblivious to what was going on.

From the corner of her eye, Natasha saw Wanda’s eyes flash red briefly before she let out a small snort, “Oh this is going to be good.”

“There isn’t a guy,” Natasha shook her head, sending Wanda a sly smirk as Tony’s eyes furrowed and he opened his mouth to interject. Yet, before he could, Natasha continued to speak, “There’s a girl though. If that’s what you’re asking.”

Silence filled the room. Tony’s mouth dropped open, eyes wide as he stared at the redhead, many of the other avengers copying his movement.

His face was a picture that Natasha wanted permanently tattooed on her brain, Tony’s jaw practically dragging on the floor, eyes wide and stuck like a statue in shock. Natasha knew you would love the story and would find him finding out just as funny as you would, so as she pushed the door of the coffee shop open, an eager smile was on her face.

However, her smile dropped when she caught onto your figure. You were still as beautiful as ever, hair in a hairstyle she has often seen on you, yet it still blew her away every time she saw you in it. You had comfy yet stylish clothes on, and Natasha wished you’d wear it more often but her mind didn’t stay on that long; she was too busy trying not to snap the person’s neck that was sitting beside you. In her seat.

Your hand was grasped on the back of your neck, rubbing it awkwardly as you tried to get the boy in front of you away. You were shrunken against the seat, almost like you would rather the chair swallowed you whole than being in this position and hoping that Natasha would have come sooner. Because then he wouldn’t be in her seat.

He looked about your age, and from what you had heard from himself as he ranted on, he was in university too. He maybe would have been cute, but you didn’t like people that were full of themselves, and so far all he had talked about was himself, not even letting himself take a breath in between his sentences. Maybe he would have been more attractive if he was a certain redhead assassin, too...

The coffee shop was practically empty anyway, a few people dotted around, some studying, some on dates but there were still plenty empty tables. Natasha knew that you didn’t want him there, and she certainly didn’t. She would be damned if she let this boy ruin the time you guys spent together before your next class.

“Excuse me,” She coughed, arms crossed over her chest and tone clipped when she interrupted the boy. She saw the way you looked up at her, letting out a sigh in relief and letting a smile cross your face but the boy didn’t seem as pleased. He rolled his eyes, glaring up at the assassin.

“What?”

“That’s my seat,” Natasha stated bluntly, arching her eyebrow at the way the boy was talking to her. She would be damned if she let a little boy talk to her like that, especially one that was hitting on you.

He let out a short laugh, pretending to look around the seat before he looked back up at the older woman, “Don’t see your name on it, sweetheart. Plus, me and this lovely lady are having a great conversation here so if you could hop along that’d be great.”

His sarcasm definitely wasn’t welcomed by Natasha and you knew that, letting out an involuntary wince as he started to try and get Natasha riled up. However, Natasha kept her cool a lot better, at least she didn’t snap the boy’s neck, that was a plus.

She cocked her head to the side, sending the boy a sarcastic sweet smile, “Might not have my name on it, kid, but my girlfriend was keeping it for me before you stole it.”

It took him a few moments before his mouth fell open, letting out a stutter of shock before looking over at you. You, awkwardly, watched the two of them and seen the smirk that rose to Natasha’s lips as he looked over at you, “Y-You? Her?”

You nodded with a smile, tucking hair behind your head as he watched the two of you. Natasha, rolling her eyes, continued to speak, “Kid, get out my seat.”

He didn’t waste much time before he jumped up, shaking his head and grabbing his jacket. Instead of sitting at another table, or ordering something, he simply walked out of the coffee shop. His gaze was on his shoes, maybe trying to hide the blush on his cheeks either from the embarrassment that he was trying to chat up someone who had a girlfriend or in rejection. Probably both.

Natasha slid in beside you, taking you into a hug; one that not many people got to experience. You both held smiles on your face, glad to see each other and get to talk to one another in real life and not over the phone. It had been over a week since you guys had gotten to do that, so you both missed each other a lot more than you’d say.

“So girlfriend, huh?”

Natasha simply hummed into your neck in reply, making you let out a small giggle in reply, playing with the ends of her hair fondly. Even if you guys weren’t officially dating, everyone knew that neither of you would be against it.

You were just waiting for the day that Natasha would ask.

[contrivedcoincidences6]

Hello, it's me, your writer for the HL exchange!! I have to say, I was very excited to find out I'd be writing for you! I already have some ideas percolating. We have a lot of similar likes and dislikes and I'm super excited to cook you up something really enjoyable.

A few questions--

rebellion characters. Are we thinking rogues, generals, who? I will tell you some LukexWedge might slip in there if you're good with it because I can't help but love them--unless you say no way!

where do we draw the line on smut? Your ratings are indicating to me that we can have some definite fun in that department but I don't want to cross any lines. I'm no 50 Shades writer (whatever her name was) but I can let Han and Leia get it on--and if you're not down for that or would prefer more subtlety/fade to black/implied content, then I'm more than happy to do that too!

cursing? I have a bit of a sailor's mouth on me but I tend to tone that down when writing just because it feels more accurate. That being said, sometimes cursing just...works. I'm happy to take that completely out if you'd be happier that way, or include it (minimally) as necessitated by the story if you're good with that (or if you're dying to see Leia swear a blue streak, I could arrange that too.)

and finally, what, if any, winter holidays do you celebrate? I'd love to stop by on your special holiday/s to wish you well and give you an update!

I'm so excited to get down to business and create something wonderful for you!

Oooo this is so sweet!!!! I’m so excited!! I love some LukexWedge in my life so that sounds amazing. I love Chewie of course and having General Rieekan stop by is always fun. I’m a huge Rebels fan now sometimes they can feel a bit shoehorned in but if the opportunity arises to have some of The Ghost squadron in I’ll never say no.

As for sex I’m game for most stuff I’ve definitely written my share of wild shit so do whatever you feel comfortable with tbh though if you are comfortable with some smutty smut then that’d be a wonderful holiday gift 👀

I celebrate Christmas myself! I always feel like an earth holiday in sw is weird but I’m always wild about making up gffa holidays that are cozy and fun! Life Day is an option but if your comfortable I always love to see the original holidays that we all have in our own little canons so go nuts!!

As for cursing go fucking nuts! Truly as long as it makes sense I really do think Leia especially would have the mouth of a sailor!

I can tell your putting so much care into this and I’m so excited! Thank you!

[mysticprofessoralienhumanoid]

A Daminette Penpal AU - Continuation

Continuation  of this post

@ab-unreachablevoice @startouchedqueen1318 @lovemidnighteclipse12 you asked, I deliver.

Now, I want all of you to know this AU was made in a spur of moment. I’m totally winging it rn.

So obviously before the akuma class goes to Gotham, the months of texting have to have passed.

For Damian, those months are hell, because not only does he have to hear Jon’s gushing about his awesome penpal, but he has to endure Lila’s lies and her stories that keep only getting more ridiculous as the time passes too.

And it better be fucking worth it, because you have no idea how close he’s to flying to Paris and finally putting his assassin’s skills into use.

I mean, look at this!

Lila: HI Damian!!!! ❤💖💕💋💞

Damian, cringing at his phone: Yes?

Lila: How r u????

Damian, who absolutely hates when someone types like that: Have been better

Lila: Would u like to maybe video chat???? I could tell u about my trip to Achu !!!!!

Damian, a little shit™: Did “u” know that using more than three (3) exclamation (!) and question (?) marks means “u” may have a personality disorder? Maybe that’d explain the amount of lies “u” like to spew so much.

(Oof-)

[Message read. This user is offline.]

I’m convinced that if Damian knew how to use gifs, he would 100% use a lot, and I mean a lot, of cat gifs (honestly, animal gifs in general).

Lila: Hi Dami!!!! (She doesn’t learn, okay.)

Damian: I hope you can understand the message.

She can.

Lila: Hi dami. Can I call u Dami???

Damian: No.

Lila: I had so much fun this weekend Dami!!!! I went to Brazil Turns out Chris Pratt is filming a new movie there. Anyway, he recognized me and we started  talking. His so much fun!!!!!! 🥰🤩😍😍🎉🎉

Damian: Fascinating. Please do not  tell  me more.

Damian: And it’s “he’s”, not “his”.

Heh.

Lila: Hiii Damiii

Damian: I literally hate you so much-

[Message not sent]

Lila: Dami????

Lila: ....

Lila: Um, Damian? U there????

[Message not read]

You have no idea how, much fun making these is-

Oh, and imagine, just imagine, if Lila told him about situation in Paris.

Lila: Sorry for texting you so late, damiboo. Got caught up in an akuma attack.

Damian, who by now is replying just to humor her (plus his father forced him): A what?

And then Lila starts explaining the situation in Paris. Of course, she adds a few stories about how she was akumas’ target or how she helped Chat Noir (weirdly she doesn’t talk much about Ladybug). It’s that one of really rare times she’s not lying (well, not that much). And how Damian reacts to it?

Damian, Done with Lies™: Do you ever stop lying? Because this, all of this, is absolutely and utterly ridiculous.

Cue Lila wishing she didn’t bullshit as much as she did Damian was just a little more gullible

Anyway.

I don’t know if you remember, but in the first part I said Damian ditched Lila for Marinette (but let’s be honest, wouldn’t we all?).

To clear things up, I kinda wanted the GA students to accompany their penpals throughout their time at school. It’d be nice, right?

So the scene is:

The principal has just announced that GA students have to keep company their penpals while they’re at the GA establishment. Lila’s feeling victorious, this is her chance to get her claws in Damian and his money- I mean, to get to know her lovely penpal. Yeah...

Lila, walking up to Damian, while trying to appear sexy and shy at the same time, and failing at both: So, shall we?

Damian, ostentatiously glancing at her before going to Marinette: Bye

Now, to spice things up, I decided imma get them caught up in a rouge attack/attacked by a rouge.

So somewhere a week in their stay, akuma class is held hostage by one of the Gotham’s criminals.

Because this is Gotham, y’all. You can’t be in Gotham and NOT get attacked some way or another. It’s impossible.

[Choose your villain. I have badass Marinette though, so we all know the winner here]

The moment it starts, Damian slips away and changes into Robin.

Meanwhile:

The class is screaming and panicking.

Lila is probably in the middle of a panic attack.

Marinette’s assessing the situation before striking.

The moment Robin arrives, he gets to witness Marinette, the sweet cinnamon roll Marinette, kicking ass and taking names. Adorable. He thinks he’s in love (and he so is).

Bats come. And they’re met with the dude dealt with and trembling in fear of a petite girl with pigtails, who’s standing next to him and a lovestruck Robin staring at said girl.

A sight to behold, truly.

Also, what if Damian accidentally texts Lila instead of Marinette after the attack? And Lila is so happy, because she thinks her plan’s finally working. But ohoho, does Damian have surprise for her.

Damian: Are you sure you’re okay? The attack was really dangerous, You’re sure you’re fine?

Lila, thinking ‘yes, fucking finally. Almost thought you have no feelings’ : Oh, it was so scary !!!!!! 😱😰😨😨😨 [just hella lot of emojis. She seems like that kind to me] I was absolutely terrified!!!! I’m just glad that it’s all over. After the attack Robin came up to check up on me. He even flirted with me, i think he likes me... Too bad I already like someone else 😘😘😘😘😘😘

Lila: But don’t worry, dami!!!! I’m a little shaken up, but overall okay.  But if you want to we can facetime so you can make sure I’m not injured ;*

Damian, having to physically restrain himself fro throwing his phone against the wall: ...

Damian: Fuck.

Damian: Wrong number.

Lila: ಠ_ಠ

---------

And of course I’m involving Twitter. Who do you think I am?

At first it was one of of his siblings who posted a post about how he’s seething at his phone, probably his penpal texted him something again.

But do you seriously thing Damian would pass such an amazing opportunity?

Haha.

No.

He immediately posts his follow up and it goes downhill from here. He adds shit ton of tweets about her, making Lila famous (and she doesn’t even know she is).

People don’t know whom to pity more; Damian, for having a horrible and lying penpal, or said penpal, for having an enemy in the Ice Prince of Gotham?

The hashtags #IcePrince’sPenpal #PenpalNightmare #MenaceOfAPenpal are created and are trending every day.

Many say it’s the most active he’s ever been.

---------

Lila is not stupid in this, okay? A pathological liar and a manipulator, yes, but for that you need brain and she has one. Much to Damian’s surprise. And yeah, sometimes she lets her imagination get the best of her, but she’s cautious enough and has proof to often back her up. 

She knows she screwed up. Her penpal doesn’t believe her and isn’t scared to call her out.

Due to him bluntly uncovering her lies, some of the classmates see through the blinds she’d put on their eyes and get suspicious of her.

If you have mercy on them, make them come to Marinette and apologize.

...

Yeah, I’m not doing that.

The class sticks to Lila’s version of every story and they don’t believe Damian is THE Damian Wayne, even when a fricking limousine drives up to the school and a butler comes out of it.

---------

Random notes and ideas that don’t really have any sense or anything tbh, but I had them so there you go

About the attack, obviously the school has to inform the parents, right? But, if you're salty enough, you can, oh i don't know, make bustier and/or Damocles not inform them thus creating even more problems for them in the near future. (Yes, i hate bustier and damocles with passion, they’re enablers and Damocles is a gold digger tbh)

*

One day the french class is at a random restaurant (I’m honestly tempted to put them in Red Robin just for my own entertainment) when the Wayne brothers come in. They recognize them and Lila sees the opportunity, so she goes up to them.

Lila: Hiii Damiii!!!! [Yes, I know this is a real life conversation]

Damian, just done with her: Ugh, not you again.

Tim just kinda glances at her and decides she’s not worth his time.

Jason: What the fuck do you have on your head?

Dick: Oh, Damian, is this your crush or the penpal you despise so much?

Damian: The latter. And i do not have a crush

Lila, who totally stopped listening after she heard “crush”: That’s me!!!!

[Silence]

Damian: Marinette’s over there. Let’s go.

Lila:  ;_;

Yeah, it sucks to be Lila.

[I thought I posted this a month ago. I didn’t. What the hell]

[euphoricsunflowers]

dreamy — monsta x

a/n: take a shot every time i say the word helpless lol now tHATS a drinking game also a certain moot of mine may have inspired changkyun’s part but we won’t talk bout that 👀👀 also also do not mind my random ass usage of gifs i just think they’re neat :,)

word count: 1.0k

content: sub!monsta x, dom!gn!reader, somnophilia, wet dreams, nothing much else tbh except degradation (for only kihyun’s)

summary: in short, they’re so pretty when they’re dreaming of you.

son hyunwoo/shownu

you’re awakened by his low groans that faintly sound like whines, opening your eyes to see the strained look on his face. immediately you worry he’s having a nightmare, but when he moans out your name, you know exactly the kind of dream he’s having, whispering to him, “baby bear, you’re so cute when you’re helpless.”

he doesn’t respond, obviously, still in the midst of his dream. your hand reaches down to touch him, feeling the slight wet spot on the front of his boxers. he groans once more, your subtle touch making him stir slightly from sleep, “shhh, go back to sleep, it’s okay.”

he moans out your name again, and he cums, amazing you at how he’s still asleep. his body is so stiff and still, so you keep touching him over his boxers. once he calms down, settling back into sleep, you feel over the wet spot, thinking about how embarrassing it’ll be when he wakes up to that, knowing he slept so dirty.

lee hoseok/wonho

“can’t stop thinking about me, even in your dreams, can’t you, sweet bunny?” you smile endearingly (having been awake the whole time he’s been sleeping) upon hearing him moan out your name, “you’re so precious. i almost want to wake you and make you admit all the things you’ve been dreaming about...”

you don’t do anything, simply watching him squirm around, watching the way he humps against the bed but also watching the way his cheek squishes against the pillow. even in his sleep, he’s still so erotic and adorable at the same time.

“... but i think that’d be a bit too cruel, don’t you? you get shy quite easily, so maybe i should pretend this didn’t happen in the morning,” you decide, but after thinking about his red cheeks and his shy smile and all he’s cute little habits when he’s embarrassed, “i should, but i definitely won’t.”

lee minhyuk

“puppy,” you groan as you feel him moving around, gripping his waist tighter, “quit moving, puppy, you should be—” you halt as you hear him moan, “—asleep.”

his face is one of pleasure, and you wonder just what in his dream is getting him to be this affected, what’s making him thrash and hump around helplessly. drool starts to run down his chin, and he’s truly a sight to behold like this.

“what a stupid, horny dog you are, hm?” you whisper in his ear using the sweetest voice you could muster up, “you’re so cute when you’re needy, min, i wish you could see just how pathetic and dumb you look right now. maybe i should take a picture.”

yoo kihyun

“dirty boy,” you smirk as you whisper in his ear, feeling him shiver even as he lay there, moaning but still so deep in sleep, “you’re so dirty for having a wet dream next to me. but i’m sure you couldn’t help it, could you my little whore?”

he pathetically wriggles his hips around, trying to find more stimulation, but you refuse to help him, instead choosing to touch him just enough to tease him, keep him riled up.

“no, you couldn’t,” you answer your own question for him, “but that’s okay. it’s okay that you’re a disgusting, dirty, horny slut, can’t even keep yourself from wanting to be ruined in your dreams. kihyun can disappear for now, all you have to be is mine.”

chae hyungwon

as much as you were down for sexy times most of the day, it was like 2 am and you just wants to go to sleep. it’s just a little hard to do that with him grinding against your ass and moaning like a whore into your ear. it was hard to get mad at him, because you know he’s not even conscious, but it was still annoying.

“please, please,” he begs in a whisper, pulling and holding you closer and tighter when the stimulation isn’t enough, “more, i need more.”

and again you’re aware it’s not his fault, but you can’t help that maybe a part of you wants to see him suffer and struggle. at least then he’ll wake up so adorably horny and confused.

lee jooheon

“honey,” you whisper, kissing his shoulder, actually attempting to awaken him, “honey, dearie, wake up,” you whisper again, a little bit louder this time.

he groans, but his eyes flutter open, “yeah?” he hopes that you couldn’t tell what he was dreaming about, but judging by your face, you definitely do.

“you were having a... certain kind of dream, baby,” you confirm his fears, before cupping his cheek sweetly, “care to tell me what you were dreaming about?”

“i... i dreamt about you pinning me down, and doing w-whatever you want to me,” he admits, knowing he could never lie to you, you’d get the truth out of him one way or another.

you reach for one of his hands, kissing his wrist while looking him in the eyes, “well, i’m wide awake because of you, and we have all night, baby. how about i make that dream come true?”

im changkyun/i.m

you come home late at night, and he’s already asleep in your shared bed. he’s curled up in your hoodie and his underwear and he clutches onto his pillow, drooling on it slightly. you chuckle as you go to change, leaning down to kissing his temple, but when you pull back, you’re startled by a soft little moan leaving his lips.

you finally notice how he’s grinding against his pillow slightly, letting out quiet and breathy moans with your names and begs for more mixed in, “kyunnie,” you mumble lowly absolutely, adoring how soft and sweet and helpless he looks.

when you can finally climb into bed with him, you curl up behind him, loving the way he’s getting more desperate with his movements and the way his ass hits your pelvis every time he grinds against the pillow. you don’t do anything to interfere, simply watching as he falls apart so cutely.

—

taglist: @lovingonrepeat @neosincity @sub-hoshi-enthusiast @feelslikelove @maknaeronix @multidreams-and-desires @mellowriting @foenixs @sunflowerkeen @vanillaknj @yr-domxfantasies @treasure-hwa @fleurshopsub @rubyscloud9

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] College!AU Zoom University Headcanons

For the 7 Demon Brothers + Solomon

Scenario: Headcanons about how you interact with the demon brothers online during online lectures via Zoom (an online video platform that universities have been using to teach classes) and their habits using it

Notes: gn!MC, Considering most universities (including mine) are all online AGAIN fall quarter and we’re going to be using Zoom forever……. i kinda wish i DID have online classes with the demon boys (and Solomon) 

--

Lucifer

Video off, mic off, no profile pic just the typical first and last name, so you don’t really talk to him but you do see his name pop up in the Zoom chat to ask clarification questions

Accidentally has his mic on sometimes

First time you interact with him is when you private message him “hey, I think your mic is still on” because everyone can hear his brothers arguing in the background

The mic is soon turned off and you get a response back “thanks. Sorry you had to hear all of that”

“Yeah no prob. How many brothers do you have anyways?”

“Too many.” 

Thus starts your relationship with him as zoom buddies, asking each other privately what the professor just said and some clarification questions

If you’re shy about asking stuff, he has no problems asking for you; never makes you feel dumb about your questions

first time you hear his voice during midterm season when the professor doesn’t see your messages (“you’d expect them to know how this all works by now” he messages you dryly) and he asks his question out loud before the professor can move on

(lowkey think he’s hot just from his voice) 

Then highkey finds out he’s hot when his video is accidentally on for a few seconds when he’s distracted with Asmo or Mammon in the background 

Bonus points if you tease him about it 

Shows up at office hours when the TA is late and you just talk to him, exchange emails and numbers ;) y’know for homework help

If you’re going to do group projects, he seeks you out first-- god forbid he’s stuck with someone who doesn’t do the work ONLINE

Mammon

Mic is ALWAYS accidentally on until the professor mutes him or tells him to mute himself 

“Oh, sorry prof!!! My b!!”

Private messages you on purpose to ask a clarification question because he doesn’t want to seem dumb asking it to everyone or to the professor

You wonder why he chose you but then you realize it’s because you had asked a question yourself earlier in the lecture or answered a question 

It becomes a recurring thing-- like EVERY lecture

If you’re not annoyed at him, then you might suggest that the two of you share a document for notes or tease him about just having you teach the lecture if he’s confused

“Actually, that sounds great!” he types to you before you could say jk “that’d help me a lot, thanks!!”

Smh why did you sign up for more work for yourself but oh well, he seems like a nice guy

Is also a very attractive guy, you realize, when you schedule a zoom meeting with him and actually see his face

Realizes why he keeps asking questions is because he plays card games on a split screen instead of paying attention to lecture (same tho)

Invites you to join him by private messaging you a link to join (and you do eventually when lectures gets boring)

Sometimes sends the invite link to the whole class by accident 

He admits he wouldn’t even attend lecture and would just watch the recording but you’re always there so he goes 

Which means you suppose you should keep going to lecture if anything to have him go as well 

Leviathan

Already the master of online classes tbh and has no problem with the format

Finds it kind of annoying when there’s technical difficulties, but he just quickly switches to a tab to watch anime 

Probably is just watching anime on another tab if the lecture gets boring or slow anyways

He’s always the first one to answer forum/discussion posts because he’s just very tech-savvy and good at replying to people

First interaction is probably him answering one of your questions on the discussion question and from then on after you start messaging him privately during lecture when you have a question you think he can help with

A little hesitant on helping you, but you’re also just really nice to him so he’s okay with helping you, I guess 

Give him your email? Why? So he can send you the book pdfs and previous practice tests of course, why else?? 

O-Oh, you want to add him on social media? Just to ask for homework questions right? Okay, yeah, sure! o////o 

If video is on, you see the reflection of anime in one of his mirrors and casually ask him which episode he’s on

Has never been so shook or attentive in his LIFE 

Satan

He is a godsend during every breakout room because he ACTUALLY TALKS instead of leaving you in a quiet room alone with three other strangers

You think you’re lowkey in love with him when he has no problems volunteering to present to the professor and putting his thoughts into words so eloquently

He also appreciate you talking during discussion too, and enjoys the conversations the two of you have while you’re not even sure the other blank profile pics are even there anymore 

He’s the one to suggest making a shared doc to share notes and study together-- the man is productive and efficient about this, what can I say?

Manages to convince you to go to office hours with him and meet up for studying hours and ooooh he’s hot 

He’s actually a very good study buddy, especially when he’s teaching you something you’re confused about, but also just good to study together with (when you’re not too busy staring at him) 

The only reason why you’re focused during class because he’d look disappointed at you if you weren’t-- that’s on you for caring about what he thinks, but he’s just so PUT TOGETHER how do you NOT look up to him?

Finds out that he’s actually just a mess like everyone else when his brothers come in during one of your study session and he says “excuse me,” mutes the mic and goes off screen; you can see some shadows in the back as satan shoves his brothers out of the room and manhandles them till they leave

Is kind of embarrassed he forgot to turn of video too but you just think it’s funny because you relate to the lack of privacy of online classes (and perhaps annoying siblings)

Asmodeus

How the hell does he look awake and lively at a 9am lecture class????

Is that make up??? Is he… wearing PANTS??? (you don’t remember the last time you put on actual pants)

The most functional-looking person in the entire zoom lecture, asides from the professor 

Has video on all the time-- because honestly why wouldn’t he? He actually looks good

Definitely not paying attention most of the time, and you see it on his face 

Messages you first when you actually wear something nice for once because you’re going to go to the supermarket afterwards

“Ooh, where’d you get that accessory??”

The two of you end up not paying attention AT ALL and instead just gush about each other’s outfits

Definitely is not afraid to ask for your social media so you can follow each other and ask for homework help I guess but MAINLY to talk to each other because online classes can get sooooo tedious 

Really really wants to be able to meet you in person someday when it’s safe (“we’d look so cute together!!!”) but settles for facetime or zoom meet-ups 

Really does not hesitate to make friends and make the best out of social situations despite remote format bless him 

The only time he doesn’t turn on video is after a night of drinking with his brothers (“it was mammon’s birthday” he types into the chat with you, “ugh i’m probably going to go lie down, let me know how lecture goes”)

Beelzebub

Always eating-- even if this wasn’t online, he’d also be the one to bring snacks-- his whole LUNCH to class to eat so this isn’t too surprising 

You think it’s hilarious when he actually brings his laptop or phone (whatever he’s using zoom with) to the kitchen and literally makes dinner during the lecture

Sometimes you watch his tiny video of him putting stuff into the oven than the lecture slides and you bet your entire class is doing that too 

Sometimes you ask him jokingly what he’s cooking and you’re surprised when he pauses and answers your question mid-dinner making

“Lasagna. You want some?” 

“Yeah send it over through mail bro”

You don’t actually know if he’s actually retaining any lecture information, but apparently he’s doing decent enough-- still, if you offer to share your notes, he’d be so grateful

“Where do you live?”

“Ldfjalskjd why are you going to send me food?” 

“Yeah. What’s your address? I’ll send you a box of cookies or something.” 

Basically he just does NOT care what the entire class sees him doing; he could be cooking, eating, working out-- he’s listening to the lecture out loud but he’s giving you a show (whether it’s a cooking show or a work out video depends on the time of day)

Belphegor

If the lectures are recorded, you’ll never see him, especially if the class is early in the morning LOL

If you do see him during lecture and video is on, he’s always in his pajamas or sleep clothes, a pillow in front of him 

During discussion, if video is required, he probably has a screenshot of himself awake as a profile picture so he can snooze away pretending like he’s actually there 

You definitely notice because he’s the first video to show up in your gallery and his video is like never moving HAHA

You finally message him when the TA splits you all into breakout rooms when you’re all supposed to be finding the answer or discussing something to be shared later

Kind of awkward at first because he’s like… asleep, but when he wakes up blearily, he does participate-- if only for your sake and for discussion points 

“Hey… wake me up if the TA or professor asks us any questions, will ya?” he says as he puts his head down and sleeps 

Since you and him are now officially breakout room buddies, you message him when you have a question and know that he’ll probably respond to you by the end of class because he actually knows the material despite sleeping through half of the class

Is actually very appreciative of you that you volunteer to speak on behalf of your breakout room if no one else does because that means HE doesn’t have to do it

Bonus:

Solomon

The one to make the groupchat/slack link and send it to everyone in the class so we could actually help each other in the class

Shares a link to a google folder with resources

Highkey more useful than a TA sometimes 

Super helpful, efficient, and charismatic… but suspiciously so

Like where did he get all these pdfs? Where did he get all these 100% test from previous years? And-- is that an answer key??? To what???

Video isn’t on ever, so you have no clue what he looks like… until you’re in the same discussion as him and he turns on his video for breakout rooms

He always, ALWAYS sits at the island in the kitchen and sips coffee whenever you have discussion with him 

Responds back to you almost immediately if you ask him questions during lecture (because honestly, why not-- he seems smart and has his life together) but if anyone messages him in the groupchat, surprisingly takes a while to reply… maybe he’s busy?

Anyhow you’re not gonna question it; you’re gonna pass this class and Solomon is carrying everyone to an A+

[undertheknightwing]

Posted by popular demand: all my dad!Dick Grayson headcanons! 

I’m doing the canonverse ones first. My au ones will be in a separate post so this one doesn’t get too long! Enjoy random stuff I’ve thought of!

Important note: when I say ‘canonverse’ I mean I could see it happening in the show’s universe more than an au, I don’t mean everything is going to fit perfectly with the canon storyline we got since there’s not much I can headcanon with the real storyline anyway. Nothing is going on but useless drama and shitty treatment of the main characters. So keep that in mind,,

Dick had a hard time admitting to himself that he cared for Gar and Rach as if they were his kids because of the whole ‘i don’t do family, i work alone’ thing. Tbh the thought of loving someone again, let alone two people, with his luck of family death and misfortune was scary to him and that’s why after Asylum, he left the two in Angela’s care. He knew he was getting too attached to them (that became clear to him when he went dad rage mode on the guards). Then the Trigon thing started and when he realized he led Rachel and Gar into a trap without knowing, he said ‘fuck it they are my kids and they’re in some serious trouble, I’m going to get them out of that trouble even if it kills me’ and that’s why he ran head on into that force field with his only thought being: ‘my kids are in trouble and I will protect them. Nothing can stop me, not even a demonic force field.’

He treats the kids as equally as he can in normal life situations. Like if Rach got to choose dinner the night before, now It’s Gar’s turn to choose. But when it comes to how to comfort them, that’s when he has to change it up because both kids feel comforted in different ways. Both get nightmares and he had to learn how to handle the situation differently for the two. If Rach has a nightmare, he’ll know cause she wakes him up and they’ll talk about it together until she’s calm enough to go back to bed. Now, if Gar has a nightmare, he’ll hear it cause Gar’s usually screaming, which turns into panicking after Dick wakes him up and then him holding onto Dick while crying. Not much talking on Gar’s end, it’s Dick who’ll say a few words. Rachel needs words to feel comforted because her mother hugged and kissed her growing up but they never really talked, so she felt like she never knew her mother while Gar needs physical affection because he grew up without it and got his thoughts and emotions manipulated by words. And throughout the next day, he’ll check on the Gar or Rachel to make sure they’re doing alright.

When Dick went to Doom Manor to get Rachel, that man did not think he’d be leaving Doom Manor with another kid but surprise! he does. Why though? the show never explains why Dick just decided to take a random kid with them. Well in my headcanon it’s because Rachel refused to leave Gar with the Doom Patrol and to help Dick realize that Gar was being treated horribly here, she used her abilities to show him what Gar’s been going through. Dick saw the things Rachel saw like Chief shooting him just because he stood up for himself and the things she didn’t see, like all the times Chief treated Gar like he was worthless trash and the Patrol’s neglect by keeping him down in a basement with nothing to keep him entertained or company. Dick wasn’t going to let a child be treated like that. Since Chief was knocked out, he just talked to the other three and by talk, I mean rip into like an angry momma bear and tell them he’s taking Gar with him. Cliff wasn’t a fan of how Dick came in and acted like he’s entitled to whatever he wants. That ended with Dick and Cliff screaming over each other until Rita allowed Dick to take Gar with them, though Dick wasn’t looking for permission from them, just an agreement from Gar himself. He got that rather quickly. 

He’s never raised his voice at either of the kids in anger. Not even when Gar almost got himself killed by following Jason, he made sure Gar knew he was disappointed and upset with him by calmly explaining; not yelling. No shock to anyone there that Dick has some issues with his anger and he’s afraid one day he’ll take it out the wrong way on the kids and say something he doesn’t mean just because he’s angry/stressed, ultimately harming his relationship with them. I think the only time he’d actually yell at one of them is in serious situations, like if one of them froze up during a mission, making them an easier target, he’d yell their name or something to try to get their attention and snap out of it.

Kind of on the same note, how he manages worry is very different. He will be over the top about it. He’s very dramatic. Rachel got sick and better believe he learned how to make homemade chicken noodle soup because Alfred would do the same with him. Besides that, he’ll hover around her just in case she needs him, which Rach might take advantage of just a little because what kid doesn’t? She’ll have Dick carry her to bed and tuck her in. Gar slipped during a race with Jason up the net wall in the training room and broke his arm since ya know, he fell onto that hard ass mat and since him nor Rachel can go to the hospital because they’re metahumans, Dick had to fix Gar’s arm, which he wasn’t thrilled about since he was afraid he’d make it worse, but Alfred (over the phone) walked him through it and Gar turned out fine, no further injuries. The only thing Gar got was an overprotective bird dad constantly wanting to be around him and Gar was 100% cool with that. They got some well deserved father-son time. I’m also going with Dick feels awful about Gar’s injury because he wasn’t around when it happened so he couldn’t try to catch him and hearing ‘Gar fell from the net wall and he’s not moving’ coming from a panicking Rachel threw him into a completely frantic state of mind. It’s all worry for Dick but Gar helps him feel better with his cheesy jokes and puns.

 I have a feeling after a few months around him, Gar and Rach start adopting Dick’s reactions to certain things and his mannerisms. Dick feels conflicted about the whole thing. There’s a lot about him he’d rather them not replicate. But Rachel doing his pondering face where he puts his hand over his mouth and Gar folding his arms and leaning against whatever he can when people talk to him, like Dick does quite often, is fine with him. If this teaches him anything, it’s to fix his own act and be a good example. 

Dick doesn’t favor either kid, they’re both his favorite but there’s certain things they do that would be considered his favorite things about said kid. Like the way Rachel hums or softly sings her favorite songs while painting/drawing and Gar’s loud bursts of genuine laughter that turn into snorts the longer he laughs. The surprise and love he felt when Rachel gave him a sketch she did of him, he put it on the fridge and probably went to cry in his bedroom so no one saw him. Dick’s not known for his laughter, and most people haven’t even seen him smile, yet Gar seems to get him to do both more than he’s ever in years. The first time Dick has laughed so hard that he started crying was to some sarcastic joke Gar made about a commercial when the living room had been silent for awhile. The day Gar’s favorite show is new is also one of Dick’s favorite days because when the episode is over Gar rushes to him all happy and tells him about it like: “dude, dude you won’t believe it I was so shocked!”. Honestly seeing Gar and Rachel truly happy is his favorite thing in the whole universe.

I feel like there’s been a few times where Dick has been sad that Gar and Rach aren’t really his kids. He wishes he could have given them a happy childhood. Rachel shouldn’t have had to be terrified of her abilities and lied to cause of them and Gar shouldn’t have had to raise himself and be shut away like he was some kind of monster. 

At some point before they all reached the tower or the day after, Dick had to take the kids shopping because where did their outfits come from (and room décor?). This is the first time they’ve all been in a normal situation together and Dick learned a few things. Rachel had no problem being around crowds of people due to her more normal upbringing while Gar stared wide eyed at everyone like he had no idea what to do. Dick assumed since Gar’s been isolated from the world around him for so long mixed with his enhanced senses, he got overwhelmed by all the noises and sights. So Dick told him to focus on him and his voice until his senses get used to the many things happening around him. And that Gar could hold Dick’s hand if he wanted, which he did. He also learned that every piece of clothing Rachel wanted was either black or dark blue, there is no in-between, making Dick jokingly wonder if Rachel is secretly related to Bruce. Then with Gar, all his clothing is bright and busy,, matching his personality. I’m also going with this conversation happened at some point: “Hey, Dick, why don’t you get yourself something while we’re here?” “I don’t have enough money for me, just you two.” “You don’t take whatever you want? I do.” “Umm.. no? That’d be steali-- YOU WHAT.”

On the note of clothes, both of the kids absolutely wear Dick’s clothes. If he can’t find one of his shirts or hoodies, he’s pretty sure one of the kids took it and it’ll be obvious it’s his even if it’s plain cause his clothes are huge on them. He never asked them why they steal his clothes but goes with it comforts them in some way.

One night when Rachel couldn’t sleep, she wandered out to the living room where Dick was still awake and watching tv. She tells him she couldn’t fall asleep so he gives her permission to stay up with him. Dick’s tv show quickly turned into a disney movie after that decision was made and Dick’s not the kind of person who has an easy time sitting through all the marshmallowy stories and singing of those movies but they make Rachel happy so he’ll sit through one for her. He’d rather Rachel watch a kid’s movie than his true crime shows anyway. Rach falls asleep cuddling Dick before the movie ends and instead of taking her back to her room, he lets her stay asleep there and goes to sleep himself because she’s comfy and he’s not going to disturb her. 

Gar expends so much energy during the day that when he goes to his room to chill before bed, he usually falls asleep with everything on in his room and without being covered up because he just passes out. Knowing that fact, Dick finishes the rest for him. Go in Gar’s room, take the ps4 controller out of his hand (cause he normally streams his shows on his ps4), turn everything off besides the green night light, cover Gar up and just because, place one of Gar’s tiger plushies with him, which leads to Gar the next day being like: “really dude? The tiger again. You’re not funny.” and Dick answering: “I’ll stop when you fall asleep correctly.”

Dick now knows how to braid hair multiple ways thanks to Rachel. When the original Titans returned, Dawn said how beautiful Rachel’s hair was, asking if she did it herself and when Rachel said “No, I wish I could. Dick did it for me, he’s great!” Dawn just stood there, not knowing how to respond because the Dick Grayson she remembered would chuckle and act like she didn’t even speak when she’d ask him to do her hair in the past. Gar’s s2 hair was done by Dick as well. The kids said “our hair is boring, can you fix it” and Dick’s inner Wayne surfaced.  

At some point the kids are going to call Dick their dad and he’ll cry, no doubt about that. By the nature of the show, I’d imagine it’d happen during or after some serious thing. For Rachel, it’d be during the s2 premiere. After Trigon is defeated and they’re all settling into Titans Tower, Dick goes to check on Rachel. The day was pretty rough for her. At first Rachel tries to act cool, like nothing is bothering her, but Dick can see through that and she knows. Eventually they get into a deep conversation about Rachel’s destiny, her father, and her feelings about it all. At some point Dick says something on the line of “I'm sorry you never had a real father” after Rachel compares her upbringing to Dick’s. Rachel smiles and tells him she has a real father, it’s him. Sure he’s a little late to the party, but he showed up when she needed him the most and stayed. This will be the first time Rachel will see Dick cry. For Gar, it’ll be after he gets over some sickness his powers gave him since they’re connected to his system and didn’t get finished by the Chief to be properly balanced, they can get out of line. He gets weak and loses his bright green hair/eyes, turning them a dull forest green. It’s not deadly, it’s just his version of the flu. When he’s finally over it and turns back to his normal self, Dick is all overly worried parent to him and Gar, being Gar, has to joke with him first: “jeez man, you are such a parent! All that worrying and pacing you were doing yikes! I think my legs would have fallen off haha!” before going into the soft stuff: “but, it shows that you’re a good one. better than my folks.. thanks, dad-- for, like, everything you did these few days.” then cue Dick pulling Gar into a hug and crying like ‘my purest angel son too precious for this world’.

Early on, Dick kind of sucked at being affectionate through words because Bruce was never with him, so he really didn’t know how to. Instead, he’d buy the kids things they’ve always wanted or things that reminded him of them, like a wooden pencil case carved in the shape of a raven’s feather for Rach and a tropical jurassic park themed backpack for Gar. The ‘hey I saw this and it reminded me of you so I bought it’ gifts are the kids’ favorites.

Ya know that cauliflower pizza Dick makes in s2? Yeah better believe I have a headcanon for why he makes that type of pizza specifically. Dick was having a hard time forgiving himself for killing Gar even if it was Trigon controlling him and this was when he didn’t know how to talk about his feelings, so instead of trying to have a conversation with Gar about it, he decided to do something else to say ‘I’m sorry’. He’s pretty good at cooking (thanks Alfred!) and knows Gar’s favorite food is pizza and that he’s vegan, there’s got to be something he can do with that and as we know, there is. A knock on his bedroom door made Gar remove himself from a video game and see what’s up. On the floor sat a pizza box with a note typed on that read: “I know this is stupid and I need to work on my communication skills, but I’m so sorry for what happened. I hope someday you can forgive me.” now my reasoning for why Gar jokes about said pizza with Rachel is because he and Dick don’t really have a lot that’s just theirs. Dick and Rachel have a lot they share together and Gar kind of wants something he can share with his new dad. So joking about it is his way of covering up his real feelings and no offence to his sister, but he knows how she gets when she feels left out of something so it’s best if he keeps this one thing between him and Dick.

On the weekends aka no training days, Dick normally takes Rach and Gar out so they can do normal kid things. He refuses to be like Bruce and keep the kids shut in the tower all day to ‘keep them safe’ like he did with Dick in the Manor. They need fresh air, sunshine, and fun. Plus he’s with them so if trouble shows up whether by one of their powers or something else, he’ll take care of it. Day activities will be: going to places like the park or the mall, get lunch somewhere, go to the store cause grocery shopping day is Saturday, make dinner at home, then finish the day with a movie. If the daytime is busy with over-do chores and a long time at the store, then night activities will be: going to dinner, either going on a relaxing drive while the kids play their favorite songs over the radio or going on a walk. Both include slushies and snacks for Gar and Rach and coffee for Dick. The last thing of the day is still a movie but more than likely the kids will be asleep before it’s even halfway done and Dick has to carry them to bed. But that’s okay with him, he wouldn’t change it for the world.

There used to be a lot more for the canonverse but I added them into my Rewrite au cause they were already leaning towards au territory,, you’ll see them in my next post

I’ll probably turn some of these into a short fic at some point, but if you see one you’d like to write about, go for it! I’d love to read it!

tagging @not-so-mundane-after-all-97​ real quick cause I know she wants to see this post,,

[absurdty]

A popular YouTuber came out as aroace recently, and a few people who know about my identity decided to announce it to me, despite me not watching this person’s content at all. (I’m not naming them, not because I have anything negative to say about them - on the contrary, congrats to them for coming out, especially to a large audience! I just feel like it could be awkward as this post ages to have name-dropped this random creator and their coming out story, when this post isn’t exactly about them.)

It wasn’t the end of the world, not that many people know about my identity and I didn’t feel harrassed, but it did awaken some Thoughts that I feel like sharing.

I’m going to quote parts of a conversation I had with a close friend, just because I feel like sharing my immediate reaction:

“Idk, people are announcing it to me. Like. Ok. I still don't know them. Next time I meet a straight person I'll say "oh cool my neighbour is straight too". Literally why would I [watch the video]? Like. Unless they're spilling some good tea-- If they're just coming out, good for them I guess, I'm not a viewer of theirs so I don't feel entitled to that info (even as a viewer I wouldn't be tbh).”

My friend told me that this creator was “describing something somewhat similar to what I've said too, though it's also a bit different”. They added that they didn’t know if that’d feel validating to me in one way or another.

To that I reacted with “I'm my own person. I'm not a teenager discovering my sexuality for the first time. I don't need my own experience explained to me by a stranger.“ (Note, obviously this is my very personal reaction as an adult who has been out for a long time.) “I kinda get being :O if maybe a creator I knew came out as aroace just like me but......... I really don't care about the sexuality of a complete stranger....................... It's cool if by having a platform they spread some good knowledge ofc (I'm kinda not comfy with having a token aroace YouTuber to represent us though).”

I mentioned that I personally knew a few ace YouTubers, but none who were aroace specifically, so this YouTuber could turn out to be the most famous one. But I had more to say about the notion that our experiences were slightly different.

“Yeah obviously it's different because we're two different people. We're forced to explain our experience and simplify it for other people because being aroace is not seen as normal and people don't even know that it can exist. If every gay person had to explain exactly what it means to be gay with no other reference than themselves, each one would give a slightly different definition too.” Upon further thought, I’m convinced that the same could be said about a straight person, and might even be seen in regular conversations about how an individual experiences their dating life, with the only difference that people tend to question it less.

Anyway, I concluded with: “I just wish we had more representation on a much larger level and that someone like them coming out didn't have to feel exceptional. And also, I hope [going forward] people can respect my own identity as an individual and not compare it to a famous YouTuber's despite them coming out after I did, lol.”

I slept on it, and something else I considered is that I never even described the full extent of my identity and how I experience it to this friend (which isn’t a complaint about you luv btw I’m thankful for this conversation, it’s about me and sOciEty too). What I know for a fact I talked about recently was my relationship to having dated and potentially dating in the future, but that in no way describes the extent of my identity as aroace. I actually haven’t talked about how I experience my identity as asexual in a very long time. My relationship to potentially dating is an important part of the conversation to me, but it still is what it is - only part of it.

Although I have not watched this creator’s coming out video, I think it’s important to assume that they’re only sharing a facet of their identity as aroace. Because you can only say so much at once, because the journey is rarely ever over, and because there’s a limit to how much info we’re ever comfortable sharing on the internet.

I think my reaction speaks to how little representation we unfortunately have, and so does the fact that people thought important to tell me that someone else in the world is aroace. (Generally speaking, I already knew... fortunately.) I’m not mad at them. When I was a teenager, this could have mattered to me, and I’m sure there are tons of people today to whom it matters a lot. But that’s not where I am today, and I wish my identity weren’t seen as so rare that people can’t ignore it. Because I think these friends of mine would assume that I don’t care about creators I don’t know the first thing about coming out as whatever their identity is - but coming out as aroace? That’s exceptional. This might be the first time they see it, and they assume that it’s a big deal to me too.

Honestly, I wish it weren’t. I wish no one in the world ever had to come out. I wish we could just... be. (Yes, I am the first person in the world to say that. /s) But I know how it is, so once again, I would like to congratulate this creator for taking that step, as an individual. Because of their platform, this could even turn out to be a huge help to many other people.

Either way, this was fortunately a small enough deal to me that I was able to immediately follow it up by this:

[sadachmesarthim]

peter learns to shut the fuck up challenge

oh my god hi okay i’m (kind of) freshly back to tumblr and haven’t written content like this in over half a decade please be nice to me i am a broken 21 year old who can’t take criticism for shit

marvel cinematic universe: peter!centric, eventually starker 

content: graphic depictions of violence, extremis!flash, selective mutism, brief talks of dying but it’s not that bad tbh, slightly aged up peter (he’s 18), use of slurs and derogatory terms, both in reference to self and someone else

summary: peter’s taken enough shit in his life. he lost his parents, he lost ben, he’s dealt with the number of shitty men may brought home - flash was like the cherry on top of the shit sundae. after a particularly bad day of taunting, peter is fed up, and decides to teach flash a lesson - but our baby boy is in for a big surprise when he discovers he isn’t the only freak kid at midtown tech. 

............................................................................................................................

Peter'd been categorized as a loudmouth for years - by May, his friends at school, the Avengers he fought (and fought beside) in Berlin.

Never able to stop his nervous ramblings, his mouth tended to run away with him. He somehow never developed a filter, often getting himself into quite a bit of trouble. Usually his pretty face and quick thinking kept him from any real repercussions.

But there was one such instance he... couldn’t exactly get out of.

He'd been struggling with Flash's bullying for years. He'd called Peter names, hurled slurs, spat out indecencies - normally, Peter could take it. But after the bite... they all landed so much harder.

Peter didn't understand it - spiders didn't have emotions, did they?? Even if they did, that doesn't explain why he's so sensitive. If anything, you'd think the bite would make him aggressive, or argumentative, or angry - spiders were predators, not pussies. What was his problem?

He'd finally had enough one day at the end of his senior year. Flash was being particularly snide - excitement from graduation pushing his normal antics into overdrive.

"Oh come on, Penis. You gonna fight back one of these days or are you just gonna keep hanging your sad faggot head around town?" Flash followed him out of the school building, laughing at his own "joke".

What he wasn't prepared for was an actual answer to his question.

"Yeah, actually. I will."

Peter turned around, grabbing Flash by the straps of his backpack. He glanced around, checking for spectators, before shoving his bully into a secluded alley just ahead of them.

Flash, surprised (but not entirely put off), worked himself free of the backpack and slid behind the smaller boy. Sure, Peter was enhanced, but Flash still had a good head on him height wise.

"Finally decide to manhandle me back, huh Parker? That's so cute." Flash smirked, looking him up and down as he crowded Peter into the corner. "If you're feeling so big and brave, go ahead."

Peter looked up, confusion warping his soft features. Flash... wanted Peter to hit him? Why?

Before he could actually ask, he found himself collapsing on the ground, gasping for air. Flash drew his fist back, shaking off the punch he'd just thrown into Peter's side. He snatched his bag off the ground, tossing it away from Peter & beside a nearby dumpster.

"Christ, you look so pathetic down there! I almost forgot how small you were for a second," he laughed, taking a second to gloat. "Come on, Parker. What happened to finally fighting back?"

Peter'd always been a bit overzealous - I mean, c’mon, the kid grew up listening to stories about Steve Rogers for fucks sake, how could he not develop an underdog complex? He'd spent his childhood defending his family name, his teens protecting May from overzealous asshole boyfriends, and the most recent few watching over all of Queens.

So yeah, of course Peter was going to take this opportunity to kick some ass if he could.

He struggled to his feet and stumbled forward, regaining his balance and breath as he met Flash's eyes. The tiny success was short lived, though, as he felt himself flying backward and up into the brick wall behind him. What the actual fuck?

Peter's senses never failed him - and yet, they just had, twice in the last five minutes! What the fuck? How was Flash able to hit him without warning? How was Flash able to throw him?

The confusion must've been all over his face - Flash laughed as Peter crumpled & didn't attempt to get up again. He crowded into Peter's space, getting close to the little spider's ear.

"You really think you're the only special one in Queens, don't you Penis? You think you're the only one that can break a grown man in half?" Peter groaned, wincing at the pain behind his eyes. "Newsflash, freak. You're not special, you're not important, and you're not leaving this alley alive."

It was then, as Peter glanced back up, that Flash's eyes were glowing a sick green-grey unlike anything he'd ever seem. The senses that'd previously failed him so tragically now did a full 180, sending a wave of cortisol through his system. The need to runclimbswingescapego washed over him, the spider inside completely overriding the human.

As if he'd read Peter's mind, Flash quickly grabbed him by the throat, cutting off both his airway and any potential escape route. He squeezed hard, dragging Peter up the wall until they could look each other in the eye. He crowded closer, setting Peter's skin on fire in the worst way possible.

Peter was choking, clawing at the hand on his throat and trying to kick the monster in front of him away. Flash, annoyed, tightened his grip until Peter's hands dropped and his face turned purple.

Flash chuckled, dropping a now barely conscious Peter into a puddle on the rocky ground. He opted to trade his hands for the steel toed boots he'd so carefully laced up that morning, lips curling as the idea took shape in his head.

The first kicks landed on Peter's stomach, forcing air and blood from his mouth. The next were more stomps than anything, not aimed with any thought or finesse. Each landed heavier than the first, quickly pushing Peter toward a complete blackout. The spider was still screaming, but Peter couldn't do jack shit about it.

He lay back, resigned to his fate. I'm going to die here, he thought, desperately wishing he'd just kept his fucking mouth shut. A little bit of bullying was so much better than dying a week before graduation.

But, somehow, he didn't. Sure, Flash beat him all to shit - May had the hospital bill and the new grey hairs to prove it. But Peter lived.

It took Flash a while to get it all out of his system. The more pain he inflicted, the brighter his eyes got, slowly taking over any illusion of empathy his once brown irises had. He did, eventually, tire, and grow bored of kicking the same stunned spider. When he’d had his fill, he reached down for his backpack, hooking it onto his shoulder and smiling to himself.  

Before leaving, though, he turned back to Peter, crouching down and settling mere inches from his face. 

“Looks like I got Peter Parker to finally shut the fuck up.” Flash looked down at him as he rose, spitting on Peter’s face as a last hurrah before ditching him and the alley completely. 

Peter crawled his way out of the alley after Flash left, blood soaking his shirt and face so swollen he was nearly unrecognizable. He dragged himself to the nearest shop, the kind (and very distraught) owner calling an ambulance the second she'd seen him.

............................................................................................................................

6 weeks later he was back to 100%, diploma in hand, ready to get the fuck out of Queens and up to Cambridge. He'd spent enough time being coddled, people hovering over him and tending to wounds he knew would take care of themselves. These took significantly longer, the extent of the damage worse than anyone thought - but he still healed, and was ready to stretch all eight of his metaphorical legs and get back to school.

The only problem? He couldn't speak.

Okay okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic - his vocal cords and tongue and everything still worked perfectly fine. But every time Peter opened his mouth, words failed him.

It was like Flash's hand was back around his throat, forcing air out of him and the words back inside. How the fuck was he supposed to go to school if he was effectively mute? Peter’d learned Italian in school, not ASL (a choice he was quickly regretting), but even if he had, he wasn't sure his hands would be willing to speak for him either. All forms of effective communication were stolen from him. 

He had less than a month before he was supposed to be in the MIT dorms and starting class. 90% of his prereqs required group discussion and verbal participation, so Peter was well and truly fucked if he couldn't figure this out.

Besides, what superhero couldn't talk? How lame was that? Half of his whole schtick was sassy one-liners. At this point, Spiderman was becoming synonymous with snark!

His first night back in May's apartment, he cried himself to sleep thinking about it. This sudden feeling - all grief and loss and shattered expectations he didn't even know he had... his whole world was suddenly gone, and he didn't know what the fuck to do. 

The worst part?

He didn't even have the words to ask for help.