#I will punt Helpy into the moon.

[i-am-hoo-iyam]

@jankybones

I saw the sun and moon upgrade story so I wrote a fan fic story. Moon gets shoes tossed at him and yn has technology trouble. lol.

The reason moon tossed the dangerously heavy helium was the virus and he slammed the projector cuz it was old and broken anyways and he was also trying to entertain the kids while they waited.

A day in the daycare.

“Hey sun! Where’s moon?” Sun sighed. “He has a headache again so he’s going to rest upstairs till Nap time.” The kids looked sad. “Can we wake him up by shouting good morning like we do with you when you’re still charging and it’s playtime?” Sun put a finger to his lips. “Nooo! He needs his rest. The new Helpi antivirus is just making it worse so he needs all the rest he can get!”

A kid took his shoe off and punted it as hard as he could. It went flying into sun and moons room way up right as yn left the bathroom. You know how if you go into a school gym there’s all those balls in the rafters? Kids can kick hard. There was a yelp. The shoe floated down on a helium balloon a minute later. Un and sun turned to the kid. “We just said DONT BOTHER HIM LET HIM REST”.

The kids put pieces together and you could see the gears turning in their lil heads. “So if we get a shoe up there we get a balloon?” Sun and yn rushed from time out. Sun stopped theee kids and yn got a kid before their shoes were off. Two other kids got their shoes off. One, an older kid, punted it hard. It slammed against the curtain frame of the room above the pit. It landed on the balcony. A shaky blue and silver hand reached out and took the shoe. It floated down on a helium balloon with a note thst read “ it was funny once. Please stop before you hit me in the head”.

The kid was grabbed by sun but another one got free. They thought maybe a loud noise would get moon to come out. They popped one of the balloons. POW. Half the kids started crying. Moon stepped out on the balcony. The older kid took the opportunity to kick his other shoe. He hit it square with his foot and it went flying right into moons noggin.

Moons eyes turned red and a big heavy tank of helium went flying out of the balcony. Sun caught it. “YOU WANT BALLOONS? MAKE EM YOURSELF”. Moon stormed back into the rooms above the pit. Sun pit everyone in time out and went to check on moon.

Yn was taking care of a babies diaper and trying to settle the other crying kids. The older kid pulled out a soda and a mentos while yns back was turned, yn focusing on settling the baby and getting a new diaper on. The other kids settled down immediately and gathered around to watch the older kid.

The older kid put an entire roll of mentos in this huge bottle of soda he pulled out of his backpack. He shoved the entire thing in and put his thumb over the opening and shook it hard. He let it fly and it shot across the room making the kids cry from being scared again. It sailed into sun snd moons room.

There was a loud yelp and sun fell off the balcony. He escorted the hysterical kid to the door. He shoved them out and yelled “AND NEVER COME BACK. Oh sorry about him yn. Do you need help with that diaper?

Soon it was nap time. The kids settled into their mats and sleeping bags and fell asleep. Someone coughed. Moon shushed. “SSH”. Yn dropped their phone and it clattered. “SSH”. The vent squeaked. “SSH”. “Moon that was the vent-“ “SSH”. A kid snored. “SSSH”. “Mooon we can’t sleep when you do dat! Shtaaap!” “SSH”.

The kids woke up and looked at moon. “Aw you owkay?” “Noooo that stupid bear is meddling around and giving me a migraine”. Helpy chimes up from inside moons systems. “I told you it would hurt but I would be able to suppress the virus and (insert tech mumbo jumbo here) the make it go away again. I’m almost done… andddddd… done! That virus has no chance of hurting you now!” Moon stopped holding his head. “Oh? Thank you Helpi! I feel a lot better now”.

“Sun my headache is gone! Yn do you need help with pulling up the movie?” Yn shook their head. “I’m ok but thanks”. The projector turned on. Helpi now had orange eyes. “I can pull up the movie for you. Just get your hands off the keyboard and let me do my thing.” He pulled up a video of a man in a metallic beaten up rabbit costume peering over a little girls shoulder as she played an old arcade game.

Yn quickly overrode Helpi with a bypass code and shut the video down. The computer spat out “I always come back” in a dark creepy voice and then started smoking and shut down. Yn yanked the plug out. The computer calmed down. Yn went to the second computer, Jose’s. They pulled up the passcode Jose had given them. They logged in.

Helpi, with blue eyes, popped up. “My apologies. Somebody replaced the movie file and I got confused”. The kids were dissapointed. “Aww I wanted to watch the rabbit movie”. Yn sighed and pulled up the file Helpi showed them. “You sure this is the correct one”? “Certain”!

“This movie sucks! It had words bouncing around and I can’t even read yet!” Yn sighed. The projector had disconnected. Yn banged a fist on it. It shut off. Moon stepped forward. “Here let me try”. He picked up the projector and slammed it against the floor. He put it back. The movie popped up. “See you just diddnt hit it hard enough”. “MOON NOW THE PROTECTIVE GLASS IS CRACKED”.

Sun made moon sit in time out instead of watching the movie.

[lemonade-clown-official]

Lemonade Clown I will literally throw hands with you if you try and cut kids throats again, even CANDY CADET is better than you, and he tells stories about orphans being stitched together, now excuse me as me and Helpy drink fruit punch.

I will punt Helpy, Michael. The kids deserve it, and I will salvage your broken ass dad and your sister. Your family is dead.

[makerofmadness]

special thanks goes to @umbrarkzoo​ ‘cus them drawing my incorrect quotes just makes me want to make more

Toy Bonnie: Can you pass the salt? Bonnie: Can you pass away? Toy Bonnie: Too much salt.

-

Roxy: You use emoji’s like a straight person. Monty: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

-

Glamrock Freddy (talking about Gregory): Baby vibes... hold gentle... like hamburger. Vanessa (also talking about Gregory): Punt like football

-

Bonnie: Cassidy, no. Golden Freddy: Cassidy, yes.

-

The Puppet: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper? The Puppet: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Golden Freddy.

-

Michael Afton: *Locks Crying Child in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child. Crying Child: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?

-

Happy Frog: When life gives you lemonades, make lemons! Life will be all like "whaAttT?" Nedd Bear: Life lessons that schools can't teach you.

-

William Afton: I think it's time to start fucking some shit up. Henry Emily: Oh no. William Afton: More like "oh yes!"

-

Moon: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Gregory: Why not? Moon: Because I don't know what they mean.

-

Sun: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Roxy: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back... Gregory: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Vanessa: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Glamrock Chica: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Monty: Mental stability, my old friend! Sun: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

-

Ballora: Breathe, just breathe. Michael Afton: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure! Funtime Freddy: Awww, that never bothered you before.

-

Henry Emily: We all have our demons. Henry Emily, grabbing William Afton: This one’s mine.

-

Freddy: Any questions? Chica: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Freddy: Uh, a plan, duh... Bonnie: Chica, chill, I know it’s weird, but Freddy has a point. Chica: Chica: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

-

Michael Afton: Could you be any more annoying? Minireenas: Yes.

-

William Afton: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go. Henry Emily: Those are wanted posters!

-

Toy Freddy: Let me copy your homework. Toy Bonnie: I was gonna copy yours. Toy Freddy: Well, shit. Toy Bonnie: Guess I'm not doing it.

-

William Afton: You might not know this, Henry, but I am a flawed person. Henry Emily: I do know that.

-

Bonnie: You know, Puppet, when you generalize, you tell general... lies. The Puppet: ... The Puppet: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

-

Circus Baby: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone. Michael Afton: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

-

Foxy: You're a lying piece of shit! Bonnie: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Foxy: I'm leaving and I'm taking Balloon Boy with me! Freddy, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

-

Funtime Freddy: Good morning! Michael Afton: Is it? Is it really?

-

Gregory Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container. Monty: The cow?? Glamrock Chica: What? Roxy: Monty, W H Y?

-

Bonnie: Puppet, I know you love Golden Freddy. I mean, we all do, they’re a very nice person and I respect them immensely. Bonnie: But I think they might be a fucking idiot.

-

Michael Afton: All the sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down.

-

Michael Afton, looking at his reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be? Helpy: Well, that's you. Michael Afton: Me?! Is that what I look like? Helpy You don't know? Michael Afton: Busy day.

-

Helpy: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

-

William Afton: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!? Pigpatch: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

-

Glamrock Freddy: What makes you all smile? Monty: Friends and Family. Glamrock Chica: Snacks. Roxy: Victory and success. Vanessa: Face muscles.

-

Daycare Attendant: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined. Gregory: Heck. Daycare Attendant: You're on thin fucking ice. Daycare Attendant: Oh no-

-

William Afton: Henry, my old friend! Henry Emily: I think you tried to kill me at some point. William Afton: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.

-

Roxy, trying to comfort anyone: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

-

Henry Emily: Charlie likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

-

Henry Emily: William... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? William Afton: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Henry Emily: Henry Emily: I wrote sanitize, William.

-

Freddy: You can do it Mike! Freddy: But if you can't, at least your death will be quick, painless, and really cool to watch.

-

Teacher: Your child was in a fight. Glamrock Freddy: Oh no, that’s terrible! Vanessa: Did he win?

(sb’s 3-star ending: the epilogue)

-

Glamrock Chica: It's locked. You got a lock pick? Roxy: Yeah- Monty: *kicks in the door*

-

Freddy: honk. Michael Afton: WHAT. Freddy: HONK. Michael Afton: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

-

Crying Child: What's the worst thing you guys have done? Michael Afton: Rickrolled my teacher in 4th grade. Fritz Smith: I kicked Jeremy in the shin- Jeremy Fitzgerald: -So I kicked Fritz between the legs. Gregory: I burned a town down. Crying Child: What?! Jeremy Fitzgerald: What the hell is wrong with you?!? Gregory: A lot of things. Fritz Smith: No shit.

-

Gregory: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun

-

Orville: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something! Nedd Bear: You left me, Pigpatch, and Happy Frog in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago. Orville: I did that on purpose, try again.

-

Orville: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on.

-

Michael Afton: So Baby was just using me? Ballora: I’m sorry, Eggs. Funtime Freddy, trying to contain his amusement: You must feel pretty stupid right now. Michael Afton: Ballora: Ok, that’s a time-out. Funtime Freddy: No, I was just trying to- Ballora: Go sit over there! Funtime Freddy *walks away in defeat*

-

Gregory: What are your three best qualities? Roxy: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

-

Scrap Baby: I'm bored. Scraptrap: Wanna commit first degree murder? Scrap Baby: Sure! Lefty, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Michael down!!

-

Glamrock Freddy: Vanessa, you need to react when people cry! Vanessa: I did. I rolled my eyes.

-

Monty: Do you know that we are made out of atoms? Monty: And atoms never touch each other. Monty: So in my defense, officer. I did not punch this kid.

-

Foxy: What's this? Balloon Boy, hugging Foxy: Affection! Foxy: Disgusting. Foxy: ...Do it again.

-

Circus Baby: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it. Circus Baby: Everything will be fine. You have no choice. Michael Afton: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that? Circus Baby: Ominous positivity.

-

Foxy: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Balloon Boy. Bonnie: You just said it again. Balloon Boy: Foxy: I am not a role model.

-

Pigpatch: Don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be crying all day.

-

Henry Emily: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Henry Emily: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

-

Phone Guy: If I die, my funeral will be the biggest party ever and you're all invited. Jeremy Fitzgerald: "If" Fritz Smith: Great, the only party I'm ever invited to and they might not even die.

-

Michael Afton, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVER’S CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.