#I will probably have a review up later this week?

[jokeroutsubs]

📝ENG Translation: Elle Men Special: A Fashion Odyssey with Kris Guštin

Article written by Ajda Gregorc, published in the November/December 2024 ELLE Slovenia Magazine. Print and digital versions of the magazine are available for purchase.

Scans and English translation by @kurooscoffee, review by @weolucbasu and a member of JokerOutSubs, proofread by IG GBoleyn123.

Full article translation, scans, and Spotify link are under the cut 👇

🎧 Article available in audio form on Spotify.

Elle Men Special: A Fashion Odyssey with Kris Guštin

With Kris Guštin, the music author and guitarist of Joker Out, we escaped to another side of music, and with that, to his other passion. We talked about style and everything connected to it. There will also be no shortage of this in the band's third album, titled 'Souvenir Pop', which is released on the 15th of November—one week after the issue of Elle you’re holding now. How perfectly synchronised we are!

PHOTOS URŠA PREMIK, STYLING ALENKA BIRK

At Ljubljana’s Moderna Café, on a fresh but lovely autumn Tuesday, when everyone’s still at work or in school, he arrives in a dark green jacket with a checkered pattern, awesome trousers, and her necklace. This time, the menu is not serving music and life, but matcha and "all things fashion." I’m in a regular trench coat and a white T-shirt, but luckily he doesn’t judge people by their style—instead, the style might be what piques his interest to converse, if it's good, of course. Besides, he's the one being interviewed. So, let’s begin! AJDA GREGORC

Interviewer: When did you first discover your personal style or the field of fashion? Was it in childhood or a bit later?

Kris: I roughly divide my life into two periods: before I first held a guitar, and after. When I really got into playing and ventured into music, my world opened up in all areas. Discovering fashion definitely falls into this second period, so the post-high school era. To be completely honest, my style in high school wasn’t something I’m particularly proud of today. (laughs) My girlfriend and I still have a photo of me wearing cargo pants and a black sweater, which is a proof she truly loves me, since that look was far from the best choice. (laughs)

When did it evolve from just a aesthetic impression to self-expression?

My first contact with fashion as a form of art or expression was during our band's first music video or fashion shoot, when I realised that this is also something you need to consider as a musician. At first, it seemed to me like a fairly peripheral element, but as our career developed and we met new people who gave us more insight into this, I began to understand its significance, what I could personally gain from it, and what we as a band could gain. This quickly developed into standard practice. I was increasingly exposed to fashion; we had more and more costume rehearsals and stylings, and two years ago, we even got our first proper stylist. And then I really committed to it—at around nineteen or twenty. Before that, my philosophy was always to "just wear whatever I first find in the closet," but then I shifted to "I'll wear things that would make me stand out from others". But this process was a long one.

So, your style development with the band inspired your personal growth too? I’ve always wondered if a young person is compelled to mature in every area when so many 'big things' happen all at once, as they did for you.

Maybe you do "grow old" in terms of personality sooner. Yes, at first I wanted, and still want, to primarily express the difference or uniqueness that I feel inside myself through music, but then I discovered that this goes very much hand in hand with fashion, so I started looking for my expression there as well. Today, it's almost an equally important part of my day.

Which fashion ideas or directions attract you? You’ve probably encountered a lot of inspiration during your travels on tour, right?

Definitely, but speaking purely origin-wise, I think I’m just like any other rock musician—we draw from the rock aesthetic of the ’60s and ’70s, which was also very "in" when my fashion awareness was born. Back then, around 2016 to 2018, here were a lot of flamboyant shirts on the music scene, with a slight hippie influence, which was the starting point. Only later did I start getting interested in slightly more modern clothes. When I was younger, I found myself in street fashion, that sort of Eminem-esque, hip-hop vibe, so very baggy clothes, which I then began to reject when I made the shift toward the ’60s and a slightly psychedelic aesthetic. It makes perfect sense, as humans tend to jump between extremes. When I had worked through that style, I started discovering the aesthetics of the ’80s and late ’90s, which was also reflected in music at the time. The best example that comes to mind is Dua Lipa’s previous album, which was in the style of the “new ’80s,” and the fashion matched that as well. Today, the early 2000s style has come back, but I haven’t fully decided whether I like it or not. As a musician, I was, of course, initially inspired by other music groups. Arctic Monkeys were a big inspiration for us both musically and visually, as was the whole British rock scene, including bands like The Kooks and Oasis. That entire aesthetic has always been strongly present with us. I doubt there’s a single inspiration board at our shoots that doesn’t include a photo of one of those bands or, for instance, the Beatles. And that aesthetic has always been close to my heart, too.

Rockers have always been associated with more masculine fashion elements, while in recent years, many male musicians have been experimenting with more feminine style elements (for example, Harry Styles and Lenny Kravitz). David Bowie was already the one who back then started to blur these fashion boundaries. You, too, wear such pieces and dare to stand out with them.

It happened quite naturally, as the stylists we worked with always chose slightly more “unmanly” clothing for me. This doesn’t necessarily mean women’s clothing, but rather somewhat more androgynous pieces, which I quickly embraced. I found them interesting and appealing because there’s a lot of fresh expression in that style that I don’t find in traditional men’s clothing, though I don’t want to overdo it. I also started experimenting with them personally, choosing many more varied colours. For a while, I was very fond of pink, and lately, I’ve been playing around with orange. On the cover of the album 'Demoni', I wore an orange-pink sweater.

Are we, as an audience here, already mature enough for a musician to present his feminine side through fashion? Does that require courage?

It does, there will always be people who won’t understand you. But for me, when it comes to the stage or a shoot, I’ll wear anything, and if I feel good in it, I don’t worry about what someone thinks. When I walk around "in civilian clothes," however, especially in Ljubljana, I am still aware if I’m dressed somewhat "untraditionally." There’s a certain boundary that I still need to break within myself. On stage, it’s easier because it’s not necessarily a hundred percent my expression; I’m playing a certain character, but personally, sometimes I do need some courage to show up in a particular style. However, the awareness of being different is stronger in Ljubljana than in other parts of the Western world. For example, I never felt that way in London, but still, our capital isn’t the worst when it comes to this.

Speaking of influences, what about other artistic or cultural movements?

I love art deco, the aesthetics of the '20s and '30s, though it doesn’t influence my daily life. In terms of photography, Damon Baker’s black-and-white style is beautiful. The vintage camera aesthetic has recently won me over, which will also be reflected in our band. Musically, over the past year, I’ve been listening to old Italian chansons and older French music, chansons as well, so I’m clearly feeling very retro this year. (smile)

Will the third album visually stand out from the previous ones then?

Yes, it will be very different. In the last two, we used a lot of colours, but there won’t be as many in this one.

Style can be an excellent tool for expressing an artist's authenticity, but with increasing success, the artist can also become its slave; the line is thin. Do you ever feel the pressure of having to express your fashion style in your private life as well?

No, I’ve never felt like my style owns me; it’s always been the opposite. I’ve always felt like I want more, like I want to dress even better than the day before, especially when it comes to my music career. Perhaps style only hangs over my head a bit when I have no inspiration and would rather wear sweatpants on an ordinary, relaxed day. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but then I do think about what would happen if I ended up somewhere in the middle of the city dressed like that.

It seems that Joker Out has developed a distinct style despite outside influences.

Yes, today we are already very complete in our style. Others have definitely had an influence on us, and I think it’s great that each of them tried to express themselves through us – it was interesting to experience how Joker Out was seen by Ponorelli, and how Andraž Drobnič or Karlo Kirri did. Of course, there is a difference in this, but it also aligns with the development of our music and aesthetics, so all these influences are very welcome.

How much of your personal fashion identity is therefore reflected in Joker Out?

Maybe, as someone who is not an external observer, I can't answer that, but I can say that I was always one of the first to give feedback to the stylist when we were creating our outfits, approving moodboards, and so on. So, I have definitely shaped our style in a direction that suits me. On certain "blind stylings," when we just dressed up, I quickly threw something on myself and then helped look for pieces for the other band members.

What about this photoshoot, where Alenka Birk took over the styling? Did you let her take the lead with her tactics, or did you collaborate on fashion choices? How did the communication go?

I didn’t know Alenka, who, by the way, is an excellent stylist, before. She was recommended by Urša (the photographer, ed.). Later, she confided in me that she had also worked with my father. Alenka focuses on elegant men's fashion, which is a departure from this more fluid fashion; and this suited me because I had never really been photographed in a men's suit, jacket, and tie. I wanted to try something new. I hadn’t seen the outfits before the day of the photoshoot when we met in her small studio in the morning. There were nine of them in total, and we only swapped out a piece or two in at most three of the looks.

This is more of an exception than a rule in fashion photoshoots. Does that mean you felt good in them?

Yes. In some more so, obviously, but in others, you have to trust the people you're working with. When I first look in the mirror, I always keep in mind that if something isn't optimal, it doesn't mean it won’t work well on camera. Even if the pants are too short or creased, it's still worth photographing them, because the photo can be edited later, whereas on stage, it's a different story, and everything has to already be perfect in the mirror. Working with Alenka was very simple; we clicked really well, and I will definitely work with her again.

How linked are your confidence and the way you feel on stage with your styling?

Very connected. As a musician, you want to enjoy yourself as much as possible on stage, and the people who come to listen to you and pay for the ticket deserve to see you at your best, which means you have to feel good in every aspect.

You recently attended Ljubljana Fashion Week. Which of the local fashion designers do you like to follow?

As far as the Slovenian fashion scene is concerned, I’m still quite the beginner, so I only knew the designers we had worked with. This was my first time visiting the Fashion Week.

Which shows did you watch?

On the first day, all of them. I didn’t like everything, but what stuck in my mind was Sarivalenci¹ with their somewhat "country club", Lana Del Rey vibe, and golf moment. I also really enjoyed the Belgrade Fashion Week, as there was an obvious Balkan touch, which I would love to see more of in Slovenia.

¹Sarivalenci is a Slovene high fashion brand created by fashion designer Sari Valenci.

You are a fan of vintage clothes and second-hand shops. What do these pieces have for you that new ones don't?

Honestly, I don’t know if there’s an objective explanation why. I started getting into it because it was popular, and at the same time, it gives you the feeling of getting a more unique piece. At the same time, you're shopping sustainably and not contributing to the production of unnecessary new textiles on Earth, which is great, but I would be lying if I said that’s my main motivation. What I like the most is the experience of "flipping" through clothes, where each piece is different, like a treasure hunt, compared to regular stores where you "flip" through the same clothes in different sizes.

Did your mum, who comes from the Netherlands where people have been aware of this for many years, introduce you to this concept?

I wouldn’t say we talked much about it at home, but I literally lived it. This is probably true for Slovenians in general – almost all the clothes I had as a child were from older peers, or I would take something from my dad, too. When I was done with wearing the clothes, my brother would wear them too. Every piece of clothing that came into our house was passed around, which is a great practice, and it’s still like that today. My sister "stole" half of my sweaters, my mum sometimes takes something too, Maks borrows jackets from my dad, which I’ve also done myself. It's like we all share one big closet! (laughs)

So you have influenced each other’s style in your family, or rather, you still do so? Who has otherwise had the most influence on your style in the past, and who does today?

I don’t remember ever looking at my parents as role models in this regard, as I didn’t really think about it back then, but they definitely influenced me, at least subconsciously. When I see how my mom dresses today, I see parallels with my own style, so she probably did influence me, perhaps more than my dad. As for street style, which I mentioned at the beginning, it might have been inherited from my uncle, my aunt’s husband from the Netherlands, who wore loose sweaters and listened to hip hop. My mum also had an uncle from the Indonesian side of the family, whom I never met, but he was very eccentric. Some of his clothes made their way to us over the years, and when I looked at these pieces in the closet, I was fascinated by how they reflected his personality. Asian fashion became a bit closer to me because of this, and I might even explore it someday.

The heart necklace you wear all the time, even today, is from your girlfriend. Do you ever dress your girlfriend or does she dress you?

My girlfriend is very fashion-oriented and has played a big role in my fashion development. She has always encouraged me when I tried new clothes that, at the time, seemed more radical to me. In this way, she partially shaped me. We also really enjoy shopping together. She dresses me more often than I dress her, which means I ask her for opinion. There have also been times when we’ve dressed the same when it comes to basic pieces; we’ve never really styled each other, but there will probably be time for that in the future.

Where do you like to go for vintage pieces in Ljubljana? Did you find any gems while on tour across Europe?

Textile House Vintage Shop is, in my opinion, by far the best in Ljubljana. The next one is Humana on Stritarjeva street, where I find something every now and then. Abroad, we’ve visited many vintage shops in Dublin, Paris, and London. In the latter, I always go to Brick Lane, which is a street with vintage shops in the east side of central London, where the more hipster area starts. The downside is that it quickly becomes quite an expensive experience.

What kind of information can you deduce about a person based on what they’re wearing? Who, in your opinion, is truly well-dressed?

A person’s style is never a reason not to engage in conversation with them, but it is a very strong stimulator of my interest in that person. If I think someone is really well-dressed, I automatically assume they might think similarly to me and be interested in the same artistic, musical, or visual directions, so I’m more eager to talk to them. However, I’ve often met people who didn’t seem interestingly dressed, and later realised they were amazing people, even if they dressed completely casually.

Your audience expresses itself very differently in terms of fashion, as your parents also mentioned in a recent interview for Elle. How do you as a band perceive this?

Yes, what they meant was that it is no longer the case that you have to be "appropriately" dressed for a rock concert. When we observe the audience from the stage, I would say that the most typical thing for our time is that we are no longer genre-bound. Not just musically, but also in terms of fashion. 30 or 40 years ago, you would see people at a rock concert in leather jackets, black shoes, and jeans, and that was it. Today, you have flamboyant outfits with blue and green hair in one corner, gothic style in another, and of course, people in simple t-shirts and pants somewhere in the middle. And no one feels like they don’t belong; everyone sings our songs, and that’s really nice.

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❗Please do not repost without credit, and if you quote, please link back to this post!

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Holy fuck y'all i should NOT be awake 😭

[deramin2]

A Quick Guide To Getting Caught Up On Critical Role Fast

This guide is for people who want the fastest way official to get caught up on all 3 Critical Role campaigns without seeing the full actual play episodes. They're all made so that the AP will still be enjoyable later even if you know what happens. There's no "right" way to get into the series, and already having an idea of what happens can even help make the APs more enjoyable and easier to understand.

Summary:

The Legend of Vox Machina

Crit Recap Animated

Exandria: An Intimate History

Critical Role Abridged

Guide:

Campaign 1:

The Legend of Vox Machina on Amazon Prime is the animated adaptation of C1 by the same creators. Sam Riegel said the creative approach is this was the version in av later play. All the important bits are there, but they get to those moments differently.

The Legend of Vox Machina has 3 seasons out now that cover events up through at least episode 85. A 4th season is in the works and will probably cover the final arc.

Campaign 2:

An animated adaptation for Amazon Prime called "Mighty Nein" is in the works, but not out yet.

Crit Role Animated is an older comedic summary series presented by their Lore Keeper that covers the whole campaign in 10 videos. Great if you want the gist.

It's like a history crash course history video meant to get you curious to learn the full story later. Great way to get a sense of who people are and what they've done. Available on YouTube and their streaming platform Beacon.

Exandrian History Review:

Exandria: An Intimate History is a timeline review of key events in world history, starting from the creation.

It was released before Campaign 3 as bonus content. It represents what the average person in Exandria knows about world history up to that point.

Campaign 3:

Critical Role Abridged is the Campaign 3 AP condensed down into 1 to 1.5 hours. It mostly cuts down combat to the narrated results and reduces table chatter and indecisiveness. It's a great way to experience the full campaign.

Critical Role Abridged is coming out 1 a week at a time on YouTube and 2 a week on Beacon. YouTube is currently up to episode 25. Beacon is up to episode 47. The AP is at episode 109. At some point you'll have to switch to full episodes to catch up.

Wiki:

There's also 2 world-class wikis where's you can look up extensive and meticulously cited information about anything you need. I prefer The Encyclopedia Exandria.

Viewing Notes:

An important thing to know about "continuity" in Critical Role is that it takes a more realistic view of how history is passed down through the ages and even dedicated academics will never know the full story or be fully correct. They know versions colored by in-world biases and lost knowledge.

Which is great for you the viewer because any campaign you comes into, the characters don't know most of what happened in past games. What they actually know will come up in game. The players have above table reactions and some subtle in jokes, but try not to act on meta knowledge.

It's structured a lot like reading one history book and then wanting to go back and read more about past events that set the stage for all those things to happen. They've tried to make it easier to come into the story happening now.

I certainly enjoyed watching the full APs from the beginning, and I think you can get a deeper understanding of the story from them, but it takes thousands of hours to catch up on the story that way and it isn't realistic for everyone. Each series builds on the consequences of past events more than they rely on unexpected twists, so already knowing what happens just helps you notice all the little things that led to them. Similar to how Shakespeare's plays are often more enjoyable to watch unfold if you already know the basic plot points going into them.

Happy viewing, and I hope this helps you or someone you know get into this very rich and interesting story!

[mostlysignssomeportents]

How to have cancer

THIS WEEKEND (November 8-10), I'll be in TUCSON, AZ: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

I've got cancer but it's probably (almost certainly, really) okay. Within a very short period I will no longer have cancer (at least for now). This is the best kind of cancer to have – the kind that is caught early and treated easily – but I've learned a few things on the way that I want to share with you.

Last spring, my wife put her arm around my waist and said, "Hey, what's this on your rib?" She's a lot more observant than I am, and honestly, when was the last time you palpated your back over your left floating rib? Sure enough, there was a lump there, a kind of squishy, fatty raised thing, half a centimeter wide and about four centimeters long.

I'm a 53 year old man with a family history of cancer. My father was diagnosed with lymphatic cancer at 55. So I called my doctor and asked for an appointment to have the lump checked over.

I'm signed up with Southern California Kaiser Permanente, which is as close as you come to the Canadian medicare system I grew up under and the NHS system I lived under for more than a decade. Broadly speaking, I really like KP. Its app – while terrible – isn't as terrible as the other apps, and they've taken very good care of me for both routine things like vaccinations and checkups, and serious stuff, like a double hip replacement.

Around the time of The Lump, I'd been assigned a new primary care physician – my old one retired – and so this was my first appointment with her. I used the KP app to book it, and I was offered appointments six weeks in the future. My new doc was busy! I booked the first slot.

This was my first mistake. I didn't need to wait to see my PCP to get my lump checked over. There was really only two things that my doc was gonna do, either prod it and say, "This is an extremely common whatchamacallit and you don't need to worry" or "You should go get this scanned by a radiologist." I didn't need a specific doctor to do this. I could have ridden my bike down to the KP-affiliated Urgent Care at our local Target store and gotten an immediate referral to radiology.

Six weeks go by, and my doc kind of rolls the weird lump between her fingers and says, "You'd better go see a radiologist." I called the Kaiser appointment line and booked it that day, and a couple weeks later I had a scan.

The next day, the app notified me that radiology report was available in my electronic heath record. It's mostly technical jargon ("Echogenic areas within mass suggest fatty component but atypical for a lipoma") but certain phrases leapt out at me: "malignant masses cannot be excluded. Follow up advised."

That I understood. I immediately left my doctor a note saying that I needed a biopsy referral and set back to wait. Two days went by. I left her a voice message. Another two days went by. I sent another email. Nothing, then a weekend, then more nothing.

I called Kaiser and asked to be switched to another Primary Care Physician. It was a totally painless and quick procedure and within an hour my new doc's intake staff had reviewed my chart, called me up, and referred me for a biopsy.

This was my second mistake. When my doctor didn't get back to me within a day, I should have called up KP and raised hell, demanding an immediate surgical referral.

What I did do was call Kaiser Member Services and file a grievance. I made it very clear that when I visited my doctor, I had been very happy with the care I received, but that she and her staff were clearly totally overloaded and needed some kind of administrative intervention so that their patients didn't end up in limbo.

This is a privilege. I'm a native English speaker, and although I was worried about a serious illness, I didn't have any serious symptoms. I had the ability and the stamina to force action in the system, and my doing so meant that other patients, not so well situated as I was, would not be stuck where I had been, with fewer resources to get un-stuck.

The surgeon who did the biopsy was great. He removed my mass. It was a gross lump of yellowy-red gunk in formaldehyde. He even let me photograph it before it went to pathology (warning, gross):

https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/54038418981/

They told me that the pathology would take 2-5 days. I reloaded the "test results" tab in the KP website religiously after 48 hours. Nothing was updated. After five days, I called the surgical department (I had been given a direct number to reach them in case of postsurgical infections, and made a careful note of it).

It turned out that the pathology report had been in hand for three days at that point, but it was "preliminary" pending some DNA testing. Still, it was enough that the surgeon referred me to an oncologist.

This was my third mistake: I should have called after 48 hours and asked whether the pathology report was in hand, and if not, whether they could check with pathology. However, I did something very right this time: I got a phone number to reach the specialist directly, rather than going through the Kaiser main number.

My oncologist appointment was very reassuring. The oncologist explained the kind of cancer I had ("follicular lymphoma"), the initial prognosis (very positive, though it was weird that it manifested on my rib, so far from a lymph node) and what needed to happen next (a CT/PET scan). He also walked me through the best, worst and medium-cases for treatment, based on different scan outcomes. This was really good, as it helped me think through how I would manage upcoming events – book tours, a book deadline, work travel, our family Christmas vacation plans – based on these possibilities.

The oncologist gave me a number for Kaiser Nuclear Medicine. I called them from the parking lot before leaving the Kaiser hospital and left a message for the scheduler to call me back. Then I drove home.

This was my fourth mistake. The Kaiser hospital in LA is the main hub for Kaiser Southern California, and the Nuclear Medicine department was right there. I could have walked over and made an appointment in person.

Instead, I left messages daily for the next five days, waited a weekend, then called up my oncologist's staff and asked them to intervene. I also called Kaiser Member Services and filed an "urgent grievance" (just what it sounds like) and followed up by filing a complaint with the California Patient Advocate:

https://www.dmhc.ca.gov/

In both the complaint and the grievance, I made sure to note that the outgoing message at Nuclear Medicine scheduling was giving out false information (it said, "Sorry, all lines are busy," even at 2am!). Again, I was really careful to say that the action I was hoping for was both a prompt appointment for me (my oncologist had been very insistent upon this) but also that this was a very broken system that would be letting down every patient, not me, and it should be fixed.

Within a couple hours, I had a call back from KP grievances department, and an hour after that, I had an appointment for my scan. Unfortunately, that was three weeks away (so much for my oncologist's "immediate" order).

I had the scan last week, on Hallowe'en. It was really cool. The gadget was awesome, and the rad-techs were really experienced and glad to geek out with me about the way the scanner and the radioactive glucose they infused in me interacted. They even let me take pictures of the scan visualizations:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/54108481109/

The radiology report was incredibly efficient. Within a matter of hours, I was poring over it. I had an appointment to see the doc on November 5, but I had been reading up on the scans and I was pretty sure the news was good ("No enlarged or FDG avid lymph nodes are noted within the neck, chest, abdomen, or pelvis. No findings of FDG avid splenic or bone marrow involvement").

There was just one area of concern: "Moderate FDG uptake associated with a round 1.3 cm left inguinal lymph node." The radiologist advised the oncologist to "consider correlation with tissue sampling."

Today was my oncology appointment. For entirely separate reasons, I was unable to travel to the hospital today: I wrenched my back over the weekend and yesterday morning, it was so bad that I couldn't even scratch my nose without triggering unbearable spams. After spending all day yesterday in the ER (after being lifted out of my house on a stretcher), getting MRIs and pain meds, I'm much better off, though still unable to get out of bed for more than a few minutes at a time.

So this morning at 8:30 sharp, I started calling the oncology department and appointment services to get that appointment changed over to a virtual visit. While I spent an hour trying various non-working phone numbers and unsuccessfully trying to get Kaiser appointment services to reach my oncologist, I tried to message him through the KP app. It turns out that because he is a visiting fellow and not staff, this wasn't possible.

I eventually got through to the oncology department and had the appointment switched over. The oncology nurse told me that they've been trying for months to get KP to fix the bug where fellows can't be messaged by patients. So as soon as I got off the phone with her, I called member services and filed another grievance. Why bother, if I'd gotten what I needed? Same logic as before: if you have the stamina and skills to demand a fix to a broken system, you have a duty to use them.

I got off the phone with my oncologist about an hour ago. It went fine. I'm going to get a needle biopsy on that one suss node. If it comes back positive, I'll get a few very local, very low-powered radiation therapy interventions, whose worst side effect will be "a mild sunburn over a very small area." If it's negative, we're done, but I'll get quarterly CT/PET scans to be on the safe side.

Before I got off the phone, I made sure to get the name of the department where the needle biopsy would be performed and a phone number. The order for the biopsy just posted to my health record, and now I'm redialing the department to book in that appointment (I'm not waiting around for them to call me).

While I redial, a few more lessons from my experience. First, who do you tell? I told my wife and my parents, because I didn't want to go through a multi-week period of serious anxiety all on my own. Here, too, I made a mistake: I neglected to ask them not to tell anyone else. The word spread a little before I put a lid on things. I wanted to keep the circle of people who knew this was going on small, until I knew what was what. There's no point in worrying other people, of course, and my own worry wasn't going to be helped by having to repeat, "Well, it looks pretty good, but we won't know until I've had a scan/my appointment/etc."

Next, how to manage the process: this is a complex, multi-stage process. It began with a physician appointment, then a radiologist, then a pathology report, then surgery, then another pathology report, then an oncologist, then a scan, then another radiologist, and finally, the oncologist again.

That's a lot of path-dependent, interdepartmental stuff, with a lot of ways that things can fall off the rails (when my dad had cancer at my age, there was a big gap in care when one hospital lost a fax from another hospital department and my folks assumed that if they hadn't heard back, everything was fine).

So I have been making extensive use of a suspense file, where I record what I'm waiting for, who is supposed to provide it, and when it is due. Though I had several places where my care continuity crumbled some, there would have been far more if I hadn't done this:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/26/one-weird-trick/#todo

The title of this piece is "how to have cancer," but what it really boils down to is, "things I learned from my own cancer." As I've noted, I'm playing this one on the easiest setting: I have no symptoms, I speak and write English fluently, I am computer literate and reasonably capable of parsing medical/technical jargon. I have excellent insurance.

If any of these advantages hadn't been there, things would have been a lot harder. I'd have needed these lessons even more.

To recap them:

See a frontline care worker as soon as possible: don't wait for an appointment with a specific MD. Practically any health worker can prod a lump and refer you for further testing;

Get a direct phone number for every specialist you are referred to (add this to your phone book); call them immediately after the referral to get scheduled (better yet, walk over to their offices and schedule the appointment in person);

Get a timeframe as to when your results are due and when you can expect to get a follow-up; call the direct number as soon as the due-date comes (use calendar reminders for this);

If you can't get a call back, an appointment, or a test result in a reasonable amount of time (use a suspense file to track this), lodge a formal complaint with your insurer/facility, and consider filing with the state regulator;

Think hard about who you're going to tell, and when, and talk over your own wishes about who they can tell, and when.

As you might imagine, I've spent some time talking to my parents today as these welcome results have come in. My mother is (mostly) retired now, and she's doing a lot of volunteer work on end-of-life care. She recommends a book called Hope for the Best, Plan for the Rest: 7 Keys for Navigating a Life-Changing Diagnosis:

https://pagetwo.com/book/hope-for-the-best-plan-for-the-rest/

I haven't read it, but it looks like it's got excellent advice, especially for people who lack the self-advocacy capabilities and circumstances I'm privileged with. According to my mom, who uses it in workshops, there's a lot of emphasis on the role that families and friends can play in helping someone whose physical, mental and/or emotional health are compromised.

So, that's it. I've got cancer. No cancer is good. This cancer is better than most. I am almost certainly fine. Every medical professional I've dealt with, and all the administrative support staff at Kaiser, have been excellent. Even the doc who dropped the ball on my biopsy was really good to deal with – she was just clearly drowning in work. The problems I had are with the system, not the people. I'm profoundly grateful to all of them for the help they gave me, the interest and compassion they showed, and the clarity and respect they demonstrated in my dealings with them.

I'm also very grateful to my wife, my parents, and my boss at EFF, all of whom got the news early and demonstrated patience, love, and support that helped in my own dark hours over the past couple of months.

I hope you're well. But you know, everyone gets something, eventually. When you find yourself mired in a broken system full of good people, work the system – for yourself and for the people who come behind you. Take records. Make calls.

Look after yourself.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/05/carcinoma-angels/#squeaky-nail

[nightsmarish]

Summary: after talking to Regulus, you both decide to take the offer to stay with the Potters, and barty gets thrown across the slytherin table by Evan

Pt1

A/n: very focused on Reg for some reason, not 100% sure why, but it's lovely, also we love bestie barty. ALSO ALSO, reader is aggressively, very aggressively, hinted to be slytherin

Poly!moonwater x reader (Remus lupin x regulus black x reader) | 1.4k words

Tw: toxic family, running away? Family disappointment, ect. Barty jinxing Gryffindors for sport and an owl flying into a chess game

Asked to be tagged: @misacc08

★⋆｡°⋆𖦹✮₊★⋆｡°⋆𖦹✮₊★⋆｡°⋆𖦹✮₊

It's finally two weeks until the end of this year at Hogwarts. Class times have been filled with going over study guides and reviewing for the final exams only a few days away. 

Neither you nor Regulus have said yes to staying at Potter Manor this summer. Despite James being very adamant about it.

“I’ll just mention you blokes might be joining us.” James told you when you visited Gryffindor table one morning, as he wrote his parents. 

“James-” 

“No, no, let ‘im. No harm in it? Is there?” Sirius cuts you off, feet extended to rest on the bench across the table from him. 

“But Mrs. Potter shouldn’t prepare an extra room if neither of us will be joining.” Your points are acknowledged when James hums to confirm he heard you, but his quill never stops moving.

Remus has been looking at you the whole time. Not in a creepy way, you're both pretty sure not in a creepy way at least. Just in an undivided attention way. Practically ignoring the other two boys to admire you, other than when he occasionally slaps away Sirius’ hand on his fifth attempt to grab Remus’ food. 

You look down to where Remus sits as well. Honestly, he's not that much shorter than you sitting down, but wherever. Your hand that's not holding the strap of your bag gently scratched the hair at the base of his head before kissing his cheek, mumbling a small promise to see him during your study time later. 

ᯓ★

It's not like you don’t want to go to stay with everyone else. It’d be amazing; it really would. But the idea of going when Regulus stays at the Black House feels wrong. You know being with your parents won’t help him, nor will being at James’ house, but it feels wrong. 

Remembering how destroyed he was when Sirius left. When he came back to school, you two hadn’t known the Marauders like you do now. The anger he knew was misplaced, but he couldn’t help but feel abandoned by Sirius. You remember it—the crying, the way he couldn’t focus until a month into school. And you remember Sirius being disowned.

And maybe that's part of it too. The idea of being disowned. Even if you know they are horrible people, people you don’t wish to be related to. The idea still makes you sick. Their horrible and evil, but dear Salazar, parent approval is so addicting and you hate how much you still want it. 

So which is worse, feeling like you betrayed one of your boyfriends, or your parents disapproval? 

“Regulus?” You keep your voice low in the library. The aforementioned boy looks up from his textbook sitting across from you. Remus, next to you, pauses, moving his quill to focus on you two as well.

“Yes?” His voice matches yours, despite being a little more stiff. 

“I wanna talk about it again. About James’ house.” You rush the words out. Probably because you know Regulus will want to shoot it down immediately.

“Love, you know I’m not going.” He sighs, sitting up straight in his seat. 

“Why? Why not go?” 

"Dove-" Remus tries to interject, not sure how well direct confrontation will go after Regulus has already denied it far too many times.

“What would I do?”

Both you and Remus pause, looking right at Regulus. Who stares right back at you.

“What do you mean?’ Remus says what you think.

“I leave, I get disowned, I lose the family fortune.” There are unspoken words there; everyone knows. He loses the Black name, he loses the reputation, and he loses everything he ever knew. Sirius had always wanted to leave; he had dreamed about it long before the possibility ever even crossed Regulus’ mind. The older Black had an idea of what would happen long before he left. Regulus hasn't gotten that right. 

“We can figure it out when we get there, love.” Remus rests his quill in the small ink pot, reaching both his hands to cup Regulus’ hands between his own. 

All three of you stay silent for a second, Regulus looking down at Remus’ hand covering his own, you staring at Regulus, and Remus looking between the two of you, trying to figure out what to do. 

"If..." you sigh, shifting in your seat, “if... you go... I’ll go, and we can figure it out together.” 

Gray eyes shoot up to yours. “Are you serious?” His voice is unsure, like you're going to take your offer back for no apparent reason. 

“Yeah. I’m scared too, but I don't think I can bring myself to go back, not this time. But at the same time, I won’t be okay with going if you don’t go.”

Remus takes a deep breath, one hand still holding the younger boy's hand, other moving so his arm wraps around your shoulder, gently rubbing your upper arm. “So, it's settled. I can tell James.” 

“Thank you,” You whisper, and Regulus takes one of his hands from the lycan to intertwine your fingers. 

ᯓ★

The letter felt wrong to write. Less than a week before you're off to Potter Manor is when you get a response.

You're sitting at the Slytherin table in the morning when the letter holding their response arrives. Your owl landing smoothly, unlike the poor Hufflepuff owl you see sly head first into a game of Wizard Chess.

The seal of the letter belongs to your family, and it's painfully obvious. Regulus had gotten his response within a few days. Hurtful and harsh, despite never reading it yourself.

Looking around, Regulus is watching Barty, who is sitting on the long table rather than at it, cast small, mostly-hopefully harmless jinxs on a few older Gryffindors who haven't seemed to notice who's doing it. While Evan is whispering more and more jinxs for Barty to use.

Deciding that you might as well get it over with, you break the wax seal. The letter was nothing but vile, as you expected, the threats, the anger, the disappointment. Yet, you are honestly relieved. Like a huge, bolder is off your back. Sisyphus would envy you.

"And what do you have? A secret admirer? Are you planning on finally leaving the wild beasts you call boyfriends?"

Barty turns his attention to you as you finish reading, snatching the letter to inspect it.

"Ew, is that from your parents?" Evans nose scrunches up, noticing the names signed at the bottom of the parchment when he leans over Bartys shoulder.

"Yeah, I wrote them last week that I'd be staying with the Potters this summer, and they finally got back to me." Your voice remains surprisingly even, despite feeling somewhere between calm and like you're going to vomit, cry, and punch a wall.

Evan and Barty continue to scrutinize the letter, the phrasing, and how your mother writes the letter S weird. While Regulus leans closer to you.

"Everything okay?" His quite, a stark contrast two the boys sitting acorsd from you as Barty pushes his boyfriend off the seat for something or another and Evan kicks a little too close to Bartys dick.

"Yeah, it'll be okay." You hum, scooting closer to the pale boy, "would you and Remus want to come stay at my dorm tonight? At least for a little? Serenella and Iris are both going to be out all night."

"Of course, love. I'll grab Remus after charms and we can meet you there before dinner?" A soft kiss is placed on the top of your head when he finishes his sentence.

"That sounds good."

The peace of the situation is cut off by Barty falling off the table towards you, taking you down to the floor with him.

"God damnit Barty!" A smile far to big for the situation paints your face face.

"Evan threw me, gem! He tried to kill me! I'm wounded." Barty sits half on hus knees, half laid out on the gross Hogwarts in such a pathetic manor Regulus chuckles under his breath.

"And I'll do it again idiot!" Evan sits back on his spot at the long table. Huffing while smoothing out his hair and uniform.

"Oh God, gem, I won't make it." Barty throws himself onto you, your back to the ground as you laugh. "If I die will you leave your loser boyfriends to join me and Evan?"

"Okay, junior, that's enough." Remus appears in your vision, slightly nudging Bartys side, like touching him too long will make whatever is sodding wrong with the boy rub off on him.

"Hello, big boy." Barty stands up and takes you with him, dusting off his and your clothes. "You know, both of you could leave Regulus and-"

"Okay Barty!" Regulus pushes Barty to sit back down, shutting him up as he begins to bicker with Regulus next.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Steady Love (Slight NSFW)

Synopsis: After Joe learns of a secret that you've been keeping from him, he has a big decision to make on whether the relationship is worth saving and if he can accept it

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Do not engage if underage

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Joe was deep in thought as he was on a popular restaurant's website looking at their menu to see everything that they offered. He knew that you, his girlfriend, was extremely picky and had a shit ton of allergies and had to make sure they had options that you could pick from.

He was convinced that your diet consisted of chicken nuggets and iced coffee and got on you all the time about it. His goal was to take you there for date night seeing as you had both been busy all week and now you were going to spend the weekend with him before going to his game on Sunday.

The restaurant had amazing reviews and the person who had told him about it and also made the reservation for it was Ja'Marr who was also on the phone, as Joe had put it on speaker so that he was able to talk to him and look at the website at the same time.

“I think Y/N is hiding something from me.” He blurted out as it had been on his mind for the last few days and he thought that he was going to explode if he didn't say anything to someone soon. He figured that telling one of his best friends was a good choice.

“Wait, what? That was random. Why do you say that? Your girl literally worships the ground you walk on and you do the same thing with her.”

“Something just seems off. I find her sometimes going to a different room to answer her phone, which she protects with her damn life by the way.”

“Don't we all? That doesn't mean anything.”

“No, not like she does. And do you know that I've never stayed at her place before?”

“Huh? The two of you have been together for what seems like forever.” Ja'Marr asked as he was moving around his kitchen and trying to find something to snack on.

“A few months but it's weird. Whenever I propose the idea, she immediately shuts it down. Claiming that my house is closer to her job, which is true but I don't know.”

“I think you’re paranoid and probably thinking too much into this. Y/N is amazing and she can do no wrong in my eyes.”

“Because you love whenever she cooks and tells me to invite you over too, but what if I'm right?”

“Hey! That just happens to be a plus but if you're right then confront her about it and the two of you act like adults and go from there. Just keep in mind she's making me salted caramel cookies next week. Don't mess up my supply.”

“Your supply? You act like we're talking about drugs when we are literally talking about cookies. And she just seemed so stressed out this week so the last thing I want to do is send her over the edge.”

“When it comes to her cooking, it might as well be crack! It's addicting! Look, if it comes up then you two talk about it and if it doesn't just wait for the right time. I'm sure that there's a good explanation to all of this.”

“I'm ignoring the part about the crack.”

“But you didn't ignore it because you just mentioned it.”

“Talking to you should not stress me out as much as it does.” Joe replied as he rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

“Keep in mind, YOU called me and I made the reservation for you so be nice!”

“Mm hmm.”

“Look, just let me know how it goes once you talk to her.”

Later on that evening, the two of you were now sitting across from one another in a secluded corner of the restaurant sharing the dessert that you had picked out. Joe wasn't one to eat a lot of sweets during the season, however for you he'll always make an exception.

You held your fork up to Joe's mouth and was encouraging him to take a bite but he was looking at you suspiciously before looking at the dessert and then looking back at you.

“Joey! Open!”

“Um.. what is this again?”

“It's a pistachio cheesecake. It's good, come on taste it.”

“It looks weird. And wait! Aren't you allergic to pistachios?”

“No, I got an allergy test done recently and apparently I'm not allergic anymore.”

“How reliable is that? The last thing I need is your throat closing. Do you have benadryl just in case? I'm about to call 911 so that they can be on standby.”

“I planned for my throat to close around something else tonight, but yes.” You told Joe as you winked at him.

Being caught off guard by your comment, his eyes went wide but he quickly recovered as he sent a smirk in your direction.

“Oh, is that so?”

“Mm hmm, I haven't seen you all week so I'm excited to spend the entire weekend with you which also includes plenty of activities that do not require clothes. This week was a lot and I really needed to be around you so this was absolutely perfect. Did you pick the place or did Ja'Marr?”

“We'll definitely get to that later. I know this week was a lot for you and there were a lot of things happening so I'm happy you're spending the entire weekend with me. And yes, it was Ja'Marr’s idea. I had never been here before and he recommended it.”

“Doesn't surprise me since you're such a homebody. I'm going to have to make him more cookies for that one.”

“All of my snacks and streaming services are at home. What do I need to leave for? And no, absolutely not. He's starting to stalk me just for your cookies. Any time he calls me now it's about you and your cooking. First thing out of his mouth is if you were at my house and if you cooked anything and if he can come over.” Joe told you as he laughed with you joining in with him.

“Okay, now open.”

“This better not be nasty.”

“Joey! Stop acting like you're five and open!” He did as he was told and slowly started to chew with his head nodding in approval.

“It's not bad, but I know something that tastes even better and I've been craving it all week actually.”

“What? You said you had never been here before.”

“I was talking about my girlfriend sitting on my face.”

—

“Get over here and stop running from me.” Joe told you as he pulled you back onto his California king bed since you were literally about a few centimeters from hitting the floor.

“I am nowhere done with you. Keep in mind you talked all that shit in the car on the way back and now look, a whimpering dripping mess underneath of me. So wet for me.” He whispered in your ear as he once again inserted two of his fingers into you, pumping them at an even and slow pace knowing that it would get you that much closer.

His fingers slipped out and he held them up to your mouth as you opened and sucked on them.

“See how good you taste?” Joe asked as he leaned down to place several kisses on your lips and slipped inside you at the same time making you gasp and quickly wrap your arms around his neck.

“Look at my pretty girl, she's taking me so well.”

He placed his hand around your neck and slightly squeezed, but not too tight as he increased his pace moving in and out of you.

Your moans were the only thing that you could get to come out of your mouth because of how much pleasure that you were in and knew that you being sore later was inevitable.

“Taking me so well that she can't even utter a single word, huh? This dick got you speechless?” Joe laughed, but was caught off guard when you suddenly flipped him onto his back and began to ride him.

“Damn, wasn't expecting that.”

“Not quite speechless, but you're about to be once I finish riding you.” You explained to him as you smirked with him taking hold of your hips in order to help guide you.

“Come on then, princess. Let's get to it.”

It was now three in the morning and you were wrapped into Joe's tight embrace when your phone began to vibrate violently on the nightstand.

Quickly picking it up to look at it, you were startled go see that it was Jayson, your daughters father and slowly moved from Joe in order to hopefully not wake him up and went into the master bathroom and closed the door behind you to answer it.

“Jayson, what's going on?”

“It's Nalanie. She won't stop crying and she's simply asking for you. She kept asking me to call you and wouldn't take no for an answer.”

“Just hand her the phone.”

“Hello?”

“Mom! I…” She started to say, but couldn't continue her sentence without crying.

“I'm coming, okay? Be there soon.” You comforted her and quickly hung up as you made your way back into the bedroom to still see Joe resting peacefully.

You quickly started moving around with the use of the flashlight on your phone to be able to see and this made Joe wake up and he quickly sat up to reach over to turn on the bedside lamp.

“Uh? Baby? What are you doing?”

“Looking for my clothes, I need to leave.” You told him as you had discovered your outfit that you had worn earlier all the way by the bedroom door suddenly remembering that Joe wasted no time in taking it off of you.

“Why? What's wrong? Did something happen?” He asked while you were hurrying to get dressed and you ignored his question. Not on purpose, but because you had no idea what you were about to walk into once you left there and went and got Nalanie.

Seeing how frantic you were, Joe pulled you over to him since he was sitting on the bed still to try and calm you down.

“Joey, I...”

“You need to breathe for a second and then tell me what's going on with you. You have me worried. What can I do to help you?”

“Just…. let me go please. I want to tell you but…”

“But what? You tell me everything. Or at least I thought you told me everything.” He replied as he took your smaller hand in his large one.

You hesitated before you answered him and it was clear by the look on your face that you didn't want to. The man in front of you had always been honest with you since the two of you had gotten together and it was necessary for you to do the same thing in return. He never deserved to be lied to despite your reasoning for it.

In your mind, you didn't necessarily lie to him, but you definitely didn't tell him the truth either.

“I just got off the phone with my daughter. She was crying and scared and I could barely make out what she was saying. I need to go get her from her father's house. I promise to explain more after I know that she's okay.”

“Wait, what? You’re joking right? Since when do you have a daughter?” Joe asked dumbfounded and he was waiting for the punchline of the joke that just came out of your mouth.

“Since I got pregnant when I was a teenager. Joey, I promise I'll explain but not now. Move so I can get up.” You said as tears were threatening to fall down your face.

“So you mean to tell me that you lied to me? And you've been lying to me this entire time?! I knew that something was off with you and I was right! What else are you hiding?! Are there more kids that I don't know about? Why would you lie about something like that?”

“Nothing. I'm not hiding anything else, I promise.” You said as you slipped on your shoes.

“Hmm, your promises have now been proven to come up empty so I don't want to even hear it. Just do what you have to do.”

“Joey…”

“No, I don't want to hear it. I hope your daughter is okay, but….”

“But what?”

“How am I supposed to be with someone who lies to me? Especially something as big as that?”

“It’s not that simple. I'll explain if you just give me the chance.”

“Oh, but it is. Get your stuff and you can leave.”

“I… fine.” You told him as you grabbed your overnight bag from the chair in the corner and your cell phone that had been placed on the nightstand after you had gotten that frantic call.

You looked at your keys and quickly took the key to Joe's condo off and left it on the nightstand that was closest to his side of the bed.

Without another word, you walked out of his bedroom and down the steps to eventually make it to your car. Once your belongings were in the backseat, the water works that you had been trying so hard to hold in, made themselves known and it was like a dam had broken.

After sitting there for a few minutes and giving yourself a pep talk, you made your way to Nalanie's father's house to make sure that she was okay.

It didn't take long before you were knocking on the front door and it was whisked open by Nalanie herself who then placed you in a bone crushing hug as tears were still streaming down her face. You rubbed small circles along her back as you kissed her cheek in order to get her to calm down.

“Lady Bug, are you going to tell me what's wrong? I'm here now and you're okay.”

She slowly nodded her head and broke her embrace from you and moved to the side so that you would be able to come into the house. Once she did, you were greeted by Jayson and his wife Sabrina who had come from the kitchen in order to greet you.

“Hey, she’s been like this for the past hour. Won't say anything to us. All she wanted was you.” Sabrina told you as she hugged you.

You nodded your head before also hugging Jayson, but Nalanie stayed quiet.

“Lady Bug?”

“Can we just go home?” She quietly asked and the first thing you did was nod.

“Go get your things and meet me back down here.”

Nalanie took the steps two at a time before Jayson looked at you and sighed.

“I was trying to handle it without us calling you, but I didn’t know what else to do. Anddd I just realized I ruined date night for you. How's you know who by the way?”

“Very upset with me because he found out about her like this before I could tell him properly and I think we just broke up? I had literally planned on telling him in the next two weeks or so and I was going to tell her too. But it's not important right now. What is important is my daughter so, if he can't accept her then he's not the one for me.”

“He's probably more upset about finding out in the way he did and not the fact that you have her.”

“Either way, we're probably done, so…”

“Don't give up on him so easily, he may surprise you.” Sabrina said before walking back into the kitchen.

“Just see how it plays out. This is the happiest that I've ever seen you and I would hate for you to miss out on that. Just give him time to process.” Jayson told you and you simply nodded as Nalanie reappeared with all of her bags in tow.

Nalanie said her goodbyes to her father and Sabrina and you picked one of her many bags up off the floor to carry outside. You never understood why she needed so many bags for a three day weekend, but then again she was your child and simply took after you when you thought about how you would do the exact same thing.

The two of you were now home and as soon as you opened the door, you wasted no time in asking her what was wrong.

“Okay, out with it.”

“I got my period and got really scared.”

“Oh, Lady Bug, that is nothing to be scared about. It happens to everyone that has a uterus.”

“I know that I could have asked Sabrina, but I just wanted you. I remember you telling me about what to do if you weren't around and it happened so I took a pad from underneath the sink. I'm sorry that I took you away from whatever you were doing.”

“Don't apologize. You needed me and never ever apologize for needing me. So, how about this?”

“What?”

“Take a bath, put on pajamas and we'll sleep. When we wake up, I'll do your makeup and your hair while we watch Mean Girls?”

“Ooh, deal! Can we make popcorn too?”

“Of course we can and then we're going on a snack run. You can't be on your period and not have a supply of chocolate and ice cream in the house.”

It had been almost an entire two weeks and Joe's finger kept hovering over your number as he debated on calling you while he sat in his living room.

This had happened ever since he had told you to leave that night. The guilt crept in not too long after he had heard you close the front door and he debated on running after you, but decided against it.

He admits that he should've given you a chance to explain everything, but in that moment he was too mad to even listen to one. He couldn't begin to wrap his mind around how you have a daughter.

His mind kept going to you and quickly decided that after practice was over and he was home that he would call you and hopefully you wanted to talk to him, but he honestly wouldn't blame you if you had told him no.

Thinking that it was now or never, he pushed down with his thumb on your number and the phone began to dial.

It rang for a while and Joe was about to hang up, before he heard your soft voice come through the phone.

“Hello?”

“Um, hey.” Joe responded hesitantly.

“Surprised to hear from you. Did you dial the wrong number by chance?” You curiously asked as you were fumbling through your kitchen cabinets looking for ideas on what to make for dinner for you and Nalanie.

“No, I wanted to talk to you. Are you busy right now?”

Startled by this, you placed the box of macaroni noodles on the counter and sat down at the island, trying to take in what he had just asked you.

“No, not at the moment. I'm free to talk.”

“Uh, can we do this in person? I would rather do that than talk on the phone.”

“Sure, I can be over there in 15 minutes.” You told him as you glanced down at your watch. After going over there to see him, you would have to go straight to Nalanie's middle school to pick her up from practice.

“Okay, I'll leave the door open for you.”

It didn't take you very long to get there as you had anticipated, but the anxiety of seeing Joe again after the two of you had left things was starting to kick in.

Maybe this was a formal break up?

No, he probably just wants an explanation and as far as you could tell he was long overdue to hear the truth from you about everything.

Reaching his condo, you pulled into the driveway before getting out of your car and walking up to the door. Turning the handle, it was open just like Joe had promised and a deep breath escaped your mouth before turning it and walking inside.

You found him in the living room and he gave you a small smile before getting up to hug you which caught you off guard. You tightly hugged him back just in case that was the last time that you were able to do it.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

The two of you were now sitting next to each other and Joe was the first to speak.

It was time to get it over with. Now or never.

“Y/N, why would you keep something like that from me? And you've done it for MONTHS. I'm just trying to understand.” he asked you, trying to make sense of the situation. He simply couldn't believe that you lied to him and lied to him about something as big as this.

“I wanted to tell you when I felt that the time was right. Please understand that. I had actually planned on doing it soon, but then everything happened so…..” You quietly said, but all he did was shake his head.

“And when did you exactly plan on doing that? At this rate, you probably weren't about to tell me until we got married.”

“That is not fair and you know it!”

“I knew something was up when you would go to another room to answer phone calls, never let me stay at your place with you and always shut down the idea when I asked, leaving early from date night. I care about you, so you could at the very least let me know what was happening. Even if you weren't ready for me to meet her.”

“I just didn't want her to get attached to you just in case we didn't end on the best terms. It's happened before in the past and I don't want her to be disappointed again. And I also didn't know how you were going to take it.”

“Hmm, I would have dealt with it because I love and care about you. But I see that you obviously don't give me enough credit. If something or in this case, SOMEONE is important to you, they're important to me too. How old is she anyway?”

“She just turned thirteen.” You quietly said and Joe's eyes went wide.

“I still can't believe you tried to hide the fact that you have a child from me.”

“Like I said, I was going to tell you. If you don't want to be with me anymore because I kept this from you, I get it. I think you made that pretty clear two weeks ago. I ultimately was just trying to protect her.” You quietly said feeling defeated.

Even though Joe was definitely upset with you, he moved closer to you and took your hand in his and started rubbing small circles on the back of it.

“What's her name?” He asked and from that point on, the light in your eyes returned.

“Nalanie Rue. But I've always called her Lady Bug. When I brought her home from the hospital and we were walking outside with her to get into the car, one landed on her nose and it's been her name since. I never call her by her real name unless she's in trouble, which isn't often. She's a really good kid and I honestly couldn't have asked for more. I'm really proud to be her mom.” You confessed as you told Joe about your daughter.

“I see the way you lit up when I asked you about her.”

“I got pregnant when I was 15 and was obviously scared out of my mind. I tried to hide it from my parents for a while but then my mom noticed that I wasn't using the tampons or pads she would put in my bathroom every month for me and she confronted me about it. They’ve always supported me even though I know deep down that they think that I robbed myself of my childhood, which is fair in a sense. I couldn't really go out with my friends unless I took her with me.”

“And you get along with her father? I'm assuming he is in the picture since he's the one who called you first?”

“Yes, he was there from day one when I told him and didn't back down. He's a year older than me. He got a job and would buy her as much as he could. Jayson. He's amazing to her and they have a good relationship. We're still close and he’s married now. But his wife treats Nalanie like she's hers and that's the best thing I could have asked for. I really lucked out because I know a lot of other people aren't as fortunate. My only prayer was that whoever he decided to marry would do right by her.”

“When did she meet his wife?”

“Literally right before he proposed to her and that was something that we both agreed on, but she did know about her. We never bring anyone around her unless we're absolutely sure that they'll be there for the long haul because both of us have messed up in the past with that. We want to protect her like I said before.” You honestly said and Joe was taking in everything that you had told him.

“And I told Jayson about you, but not Nalanie. From his perspective and the way that I talk about you he's really happy for me and all for it. But he did say that he wanted her to meet you. It might also help that you're his favorite player but who knows.” You said to Joe and a small smirk broke out onto his face.

“You're the one calling the shots here. I just want you to do whatever you're comfortable with. I would love to meet her whenever you feel that the time is right. But Y/N….”

“Hmm?” You asked as you turned once more to look at him and he sighed before answering you.

“You can't keep things like this from me. We've been together for a while and you know better than anyone how much I'm going to be there to support you with whatever is going on in your life, just like you do for me. No more secrets. Promise me. I get your reasoning behind it, but you having a daughter was not going to be a dealbreaker for me.”

“Promise. No more secrets from here on out.” You replied back to him as he leaned over to place a kiss on your forehead. He relaxed into the couch as you brought your head slightly to the left to be able to lean against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Do you want to see what she looks like?” You asked Joe at the same time that you had reached for your phone, not really waiting for an answer.

You never wasted an opportunity to show off your daughter and let people know how proud you were of her.

Joe nodded as you went to your gallery and pulled up the most recent photos of the two of you and moved it closer so that he could see it.

“She literally looks just like you.”

“My little twin. Everyone says the same thing when they see her except she's a little taller than me. She is literally my baby. I cried when she turned thirteen. I can't wrap my head around me now having a teenager.”

“And you’re going to do such an amazing job with her. I can see that you already are.”

“Well if you're ready to meet her, we can do it tomorrow. It's Thursday and she likes football just as much as her parents do.”

“How about football and an ice cream date? Does she like ice cream?”

“She does. Mint chocolate chip is her favorite and I always tell her how weird she is because I never met a kid that said that was their favorite flavor. Oh, and I should tell you something….”

“That's wild that she likes that flavor, but what is it?”

“The Bengals are her favorite team and for good reason but…”

“But what?”

“Ja'Marr is her favorite player so she is going to interrogate you about him.” You confessed as you stifled a laugh and Joe held his hand over his heart pretending that he was hurt.

“But I think the two of you will get along just fine.”

“Oh, and I think you'll need this back.” Joe told you as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the key that you had left on his nightstand.

Staying over with Joe lasted around forty five minutes until you told him about going to get Nalanie from practice. Once you had picked her up and the two of you were eating dinner and watching Netflix, you figured that it was a good time to tell her about meeting Joe tomorrow and nudged her to get her attention as she was sitting next to you on the couch.

“I have something that I want to tell you.”

“Okay, I'm listening. Is everything okay?” She replied as she turned to look at you.

“Everything's fine. I want you to meet someone really special to me tomorrow after you get home from school. We're going to get ice cream and…”

“MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP!”

“Yes, you can have that disgusting flavor and we'll watch Thursday Night Football with him.” You told her as you turned up your nose and she promptly stuck her tongue out at you.

“That is literally the best flavor of ice cream, you are such a hater. But wait a minute… him?”

“Yes, him.” You replied as you nodded your head.

“Hmm, I have to approve. I need to make sure that he's good enough to be in a relationship with my mom. If the two of you are in a relationship that is.” She said as she narrowed her eyes at you suspiciously.

“We are and I forgot how overprotective that you can get but I definitely think that the two of you will get along really well. You two like a lot of the same things including football.” You said as you thought about her probably wanting to go to every Bengals game once she meets Joe.

“In my eyes, only very few people meet my expectations of being good enough for you. And I want to see you happy, but you look happy so I guess he's doing something right so I'm okay with it. And I know he must be important because I never meet anyone that you date.”

“And be nice. No interrogating.”

“No promises.”

You and Joe agreed to meet at one of your favorite ice cream stands that wasn't too far from your job and you found yourself going there sometimes when you got a break to destress by eating a treat that you knew was going to satisfy your craving. It also had a small park nearby and that's where you planned on meeting him.

Nalanie was actually bouncing off the walls and very excited to meet the mystery man, or it was the fact that she was going to get ice cream in the middle of the week.

It was probably the latter.

The two of you were in line and you were about to pay for your ice cream as well as Nalanie's when you felt a presence behind you. You got a whiff of the cologne that you grew to love so much and knew that it was your boyfriend. Joe then slipped the cashier his card as you shook your head and smiled while Nalanie was looking around confused.

“Wait, mom, where's your man? Is he late? I thought he was supposed to be here already. And why is Joe Burrow here? Wait! Is Ja'Marr here too?” She asked as she was looking around to see if she could spot her favorite player.

“Lady bug, this is my boyfriend Joe and Joe this is my daughter Nalanie.”

“It's nice to meet you Nalanie, your mom has told me all about you.” Joe told her and she slowly nodded her head up and down indicating that she was still taking everything in.

At that moment, her eyes went wide.

“I.. wow… It's nice to meet you too. I had this whole speech in my head to interrogate you with but now I can't remember a word of it.”

“Nalanie! I said NO interrogating!”

“He seems like he would be able to take it anyway.” She told you and you shook your head at her.

“I didn't bring Ja'Marr, but maybe next time. Since someone did tell me that he was your favorite player.”

“Don't be jealous, you're a close second.” She replied as she smiled.

Over the next several months, you watched as Joe and Nalanie grew closer and was happy that they were building such a good relationship with one another. There were even a few conversations that had happened regarding the two of you moving in with him and of course Nalanie was all for it, but you on the other hand wanted a little bit more time before you came to a final decision about it. Joe told you that there was absolutely no rush and that the offer would stand.

It was currently Friday and you were stuck in traffic due to an accident as you were on your way to get Nalanie. You didn't want to keep her waiting and since it was her weekend with you instead of spending it with her dad, you quickly asked Joe if he could get her for you.

You- Joey, I'm stuck in traffic, could you go and get Nalanie for me? But only if you aren't busy. I owe you for this.

Joey- You don't owe me anything and of course I'll go and get her. We'll wait for you before we decide on dinner.

You- Thank you, I love you 😘💕

Joey- I love you more and be safe.

Nalanie was surprised to see Joe instead of you as he pulled up in his Porsche, but quickly slipped into the passenger seat as Joe had leaned over to open the door for her.

“Hey, where's my mom? Not that I’m not happy to see you or anything.” She told him as she brought the seatbelt across her body.

“Stuck in traffic so she asked me to come and get you. We'll decide on dinner once she gets back. How was your day at school?”

“Hmm, it was okay, but this boy Cody is convinced that girls don't know more about football then boys so we got into an argument at lunch about it.”

“Did you know that there are more women who actually watch it then men do?” Joe told her and she quickly nodded.

“See!? And that's what I told him. I was firing off all these stats about my favorite players, you were included, and he was just looking at me like he didn't know what I was talking about.”

One thing Joe knew Nalanie was passionate about was football and sports in general and that you and her were never one to back down from an argument or discussion regarding it.

“He sounds like he talks a big game, but can't back it up.”

“I'm convinced that his head is full of air instead of a brain.”

“You literally sound just like your mother.” Joe told her as he laughed and came to a slow stop at a red light.

“I have a question. Well, two actually.”

“Ask away.” Joe told her as the light turned green.

“Well first, when are you going to marry my mom? She's really happy with you and I can tell.”

Hearing Nalanie ask this caught him off guard, but he quickly composed himself.

“Hmm, funny you should ask. Can you keep a secret? And I also wanted to ask you something.” He said and she quickly nodded.

“I already got her ring, just have to plan when I'm going to do it. And I wanted to ask your permission too, because I feel that it's important.”

“Really!? Well you already know that my answer is yes. I already consider you my bonus dad and that's a plus. This is the happiest that I've ever seen her. What does it look like? Can I see it?”

A million thoughts were running through Nalanie's head about how excited she was about the entire thing. She finally felt that now her family would be complete.

“I have it hidden in my room, hoping she doesn't find it but I'll show you later. What was your next question?”

“Are you two going to have a baby? Or babies? I like the idea of at least three. I want a sibling or siblings to play with.”

“I… you are so full of questions today.”

“I only asked you two questions and you are definitely stalling. I guess all that media training has led you to be able to learn how to dodge questions.”

“I'm not dodging the question!”

“Lies! Then answer it!”

At that moment, Joe's phone rang indicating that it was you and quickly answered it as Nalanie made a face at him.

“Saved by the phone call. But I'm definitely going to ask again later.”

It was around eight at night when you were painting Nalanie's nails on the floor in the living room while Joe was sitting on the couch behind both of you and she noticed that you kept glancing at her.

“Uh, mom? Everything okay? You literally only do that when you have something that you want to tell me.” She asked as you were now painting a second coat. This also caught Joe's attention and he quickly looked over at you.

“Well there is something….” You said as you gestured for her to put her hand in the nail dryer.

“What is it?” She asked as she looked between the two of you and you looked at Joe to give him permission to tell her.

“I think that the role of being a big sister is going to look pretty good on you.” Joe told her and her mouth was now hanging wide open.

“Now I see why you didn't answer my question earlier.”

“Wait, what question?” You asked her and she sent a smile in your direction.

“I asked him when the two of you were going to give me a sibling, but I see that was clearly already in the works. I want at least three by the way.” She told you as she pointed to your midsection.

“Umm, we'll have to see about that and we wanted to make sure that everything was okay before we said anything about it.”

“Well I'm excited for that obviously and now I guess there's only one more part left.”

“And what part is that?”

“The part where you two get married and then we'll be a family for real.”

Taglist:

@hoodharlow

@a-moment-captured

@wickedfun9

@dandelionwrites8

@keiva1000

[bet-on-me-13]

Valerie Gray gets a Security Job in Gotham

So, basically, Valerie's dad gets a new high paying Security Job at Wayne Tech, and he decides to bring his daughter into the Business since she can use her Red Huntress Skills

Not like she's gonna have much use for them, Phantom managed to establish a peace treaty between the Ghost Zone and Amity Park, so now there's no need for a Professional Ghost Hunter/Hero.

Also, she kind of needs to get away from that period in her life, and maybe move on from her breakup with Danny (and the argument that happened after the reveal)

So Val applies for the Wayne Tech Job alongside her dad, and during the Interview she manages to reveal most of her secrets, by the virtue of the face that she doesn't really care anymore. Not like it matters at all.

...

Interviewer: So, do you have any reverent work experience?

Val: I'm a retired successful Superhero from Illinois, Red Huntress, and I managed to fight off multiple Other Dimensional beings during that time. I also have experience traversing dimensions if that's helpful.

Interviewer: Uh...

...

Interviewer: How do you feel about fighting super-powered Villains once a week?

Val: Please, those guys are cool and all, but many of the Ghosts I've fought have the same powers but dialed up to eleven.

Interviewer: OK, gonna have to look that one up later...

...

Interviewer: How would you deal with attempted Theft by a Super-powered Rouge?

Val: Aim for the knees.

Interviewer: Can you elaborate?

Val: Aim for the Knees. Then the [REDACTED]

Interviewer: Remind me not to get on your bad side...

...

Inrerviewer: How do you feel about potentially/probably dying on the job?

Val: Basically everybody in my town is so Ecto-Iradiated to an absurd extent. If I got killed I would just become a Ghost and be back in by Monday.

Interviewer: OK that's just ridiculous

Val: My Ex's dog, Cujo, was killed while working as a Security dog, and came back to work the next week. If he can do that, I can do the same.

...

Interviewer: *pulls off fake Groucho Marks glasses to reveal Tim Drake* I regret deciding to review this batch myself.

[libraryofgage]

Addams Family Steddie AU Part 3

Part One | Part Two

To preface, a bitch is sick rn so if you see any typos, no you didn't lol

"Robin, this is serious."

Steve can perfectly see Robin rolling her eyes through the phone as she says, "Oh, right, I'm so sorry your fiance-to-be is the perfect boyfriend who takes you on wonderful dates and romances you every single second you're together."

"I'm starting to think you're jealous."

"I'd only be jealous if Eddie had tits."

"He'd probably get some if I asked."

In the silence that follows, Steve can imagine Robin's scrunched face: her crinkled nose and curled lips and generally disgusted eyebrow furrow. He counts down from six in his head and then mouths along as Robin says, "I'd hang up if I weren't so invested in your love life."

"For someone so invested, you're not helping."

He hears a put-upon sigh through the speaker and returns it with a sigh of his own. Steve gives up on sitting properly and collapses back onto his bed, staring at the unmoving ceiling fan Hulyet is currently hanging from to nap.

"Fine, fine, what's the actual problem again?" Robin asks, her question followed by the sound of her shutting a book (one of her science textbooks based on the sound it makes when closing) so she can give Steve her full attention.

"Eddie is always planning our dates, and they're always really good, right? So I want to plan a date in return, but I have no clue how to plan something we'll both equally enjoy. In fact, I have no clue how Eddie plans our dates in the first place."

"Just start with something he likes and try to find something you'll like in it."

"Okay, say it again, but pretend I'm five."

Robin sighs again, and Steve hears the creaking of her bed as she collapses onto it. "Okay, the last date he planned, it was a hockey game, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, you like sports. Hockey is an obvious jump from there, but was Eddie also having fun at the game?"

Steve hums, reviewing their date from the week before. He hadn't expected Eddie to pull out hockey tickets, but he'd looked forward to it nonetheless. The game itself was fun, and the rink was cold enough that Steve had been able to scoot closer to Eddie and complain about being chilly.

Of course, Eddie's immediate response was to pull out a lighter, open it, and flick a flame to life while asking, "How big of a fire do you want, Stevie?"

For a brief moment, Steve had considered the question. But then he'd realized a fire would disrupt the hockey game, so they probably shouldn't start one.

After grabbing the lighter and stuffing it into his own pocket, Steve leaned closer and whispered, "Wouldn't you rather put your arm around me?" Eddie had lit up, and his smile was wide enough to make Steve feel blinded as he wrapped an arm around Steve's waist and pulled him closer.

It had been wonderful and romantic, right up until both of them got way too into the game and completely forgot about cuddling in favor of shouting at the players to hit harder and actually draw some blood to get the puck.

Steve smiles a little at the memory. "Yeah, he enjoyed the violence."

"Well, we all enjoy seeing buff people get a little bloody," Robin says, and Steve can see the way she's nodding like a wise man. "Anyway, he probably knew he'd enjoy the whole violence part of the sport. So, follow that formula."

"What formula are you seeing here?"

"Thing fiance-to-be likes plus a small part of it you could probably enjoy equals romance. If that's too hard, just get him a gift and plan the date around that."

Well, it sounds easy when she says it like that. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because I'm the genius here, obviously. Now go plan a date so you can tell me all about it later. And I expect details, Steven. Sordid details. If I'm not quivering in my bodice, what's the fucking point."

"You don't even have a bodice. And my name isn't Steven."

"I'll get one, and your name is whatever's comedically appropriate."

"I found a good website for bodices and corsets, actually. I can send it to you."

"What are you doing on that website, Steve?" Robin asks, her voice light and eager.

Steve smirks, pulling the phone away from his ear and saying, "Wouldn't you like to know," before quickly hanging up. The phone stays silent for three whole seconds before Robin immediately calls back, but Steve is too busy laughing to actually pick up.

Part of why the Munsons moved to Steve's neighborhood is the cemetery within walking distance. The cemetery is at the very back of the neighborhood, hidden from people who don't actually live there. The front of the cemetery is perfectly presentable. The gravestones are clean and new, and flowers decorate most graves while others hold pebbles and stones of various sizes and colors.

The back of the cemetery, however, is a Munson paradise. The grass gives way to brown, under-watered weeds and dirt, the faded gravestones are covered in moss and plants climbing them, and the trees are perpetually leafless and spindly to create the perfect horror movie atmosphere. It was like that even before the Munsons moved to the neighborhood, but Steve doesn't actually know why.

The back of the cemetery is where Steve leads Eddie, occasionally looking back to make sure the blindfold covering Eddie's eyes is still in place. "You know, I was expecting more than walking when you pulled out the blindfold," Eddie says, squeezing Steve's hand.

"We're almost there," Steve promises, looking around them until he spots the picnic blanket and pillows he'd laid down earlier in front of a blank gravestone. There's a small projector on the edge of the blanket, facing the wall of a mausoleum, with a DVD player connected to it.

Steve stops at the edge of the blanket, takes a deep breath, and moves to stand in front of Eddie. "Okay," he says, reaching up and carefully pulling off the blindfold.

When it comes off, Eddie looks straight at Steve, not sparing a glance at the set-up behind him. "Are you the surprise?" he asks, sliding his hands around Steve's hips and pulling him closer.

"I'm not much of a surprise," Steve points out.

"You're the best gift I could ask for," Eddie says, sealing the words with a kiss that would be too easy for Steve to get lost in.

And he almost does, but he pulls away before Eddie's tongue can get too far into his mouth. "No, wait, you haven't seen the actual surprise," he mumbles, putting a few inches between them and gesturing to the picnic blanket.

Eddie's eyes light up, and he pulls Steve to the blanket. He sits against the headstone and tugs Steve down next to him. "Movie date in a graveyard? Very romantic, sweetheart," Eddie says, leaning close and kissing Steve's jaw.

"Well, that's not the whole surprise," Steve replies, leaning his head on Eddie's shoulder. He hears a quiet hum from above him and adds, "This is our spot."

"What? Like a make-out spot? We gonna sneak out in the middle of the night to make out right here twice a week?"

"Only twice?" Steve asks, his voice teasing as he tilts his head back to see Eddie smile. He doesn't give Eddie the chance to answer, though. Instead, he takes Eddie's hand and plays with his engaged-to-be-engaged ring. "I mean, this is our spot. We're leaning on our gravestone."

A few seconds pass before Eddie seems to actually process the words. When he does, he straightens up, tugging Steve away from the gravestone with him so he can see it. "Is this...a couple's plot?" he asks, his eyes wide as he looks from the stone to Steve.

Steve flushes, heat rising in his cheeks as he looks away. He takes a deep breath, deciding to just verbalize his thought process when he'd bought the plot. "I figured, well, we wouldn't want to be apart even in death. So we'll be buried together, you know? Our corpses will be embracing as we rot for eternity, becoming skeletons and dust that will only know each other."

The words are followed by silence, making Steve wonder if he somehow fucked up with his gift. He braces himself and glances up at Eddie to ask if he doesn't like it only to be pushed back on the blanket. Steve blinks, his brain barely catching up as Eddie kisses him. This is, by far, the most desperate kiss Steve has ever received from Eddie. It's a kiss that's practically begging Steve to give Eddie permission to swallow him whole, tuck him securely into the marrow of his bones, and hold him there so they'll never be apart.

Steve is a little confused, but he's far more interested in kissing back, sliding his fingers into Eddie's hair and tugging playfully as he bites Eddie's tongue. A rough growl in response sends shivers down Steve's spine, goosebumps spreading across his arms as Eddie pushes his hands under Steve's shirt.

Surprisingly warm fingers trail across Steve's abdomen before Eddie's hands settle on his hips, his pinkies teasingly pushing past the waistband of his jeans. Steve sighs softly, relaxing at the familiar sensation as he hooks one of his legs over Eddie's waist, pulling him close until their hips and chests are flush against each other.

Eddie grins against Steve's lips, his left hand trailing down Steve's waist to rest on his thigh, holding it in place as he teasingly grinds their hips together. Steve jolts, a surprised, quiet moan escaping him as his hands start to tremble with adrenaline and...well, sheer horniness if he's being honest.

"Please tell me we can fuck on our future grave," Eddie says, his voice low and husky as he speaks against Steve's lips.

Steve groans, fully agreeable to the idea only to realize two very important things. One, he doesn't have any lube, and two, he was actually looking forward to watching movies with Eddie, which wouldn't really happen if they got too distracted. Plus, you know, the whole sex in public thing, but that's not as big of a deal. Who's going to be visiting the cemetery on a Wednesday?

But Steve doesn't want to completely dash Eddie's hopes and the sheer joy in his eyes at the idea, so he presses another kiss to his lips and promises, "Later, Eddie."

Despite his disappointed expression, Eddie doesn't argue. He just sits up, pulling Steve with him so he stays in his lap. "I'll hold you to that, sweetheart," he whispers, kissing down Steve's neck until he reaches the point where it meets his shoulder. He bites down there, causing Steve to inhale sharply as he licks and sucks a hickey onto his skin.

Steve shakily exhales, biting his bottom lip to keep himself grounded. When it feels like Eddie is about to start on another hickey, Steve uses his grip on his hair to pull him back. "Stevie," Eddie breathes, his eyes dark as he looks up at him, "you know what pulling does to me."

Steve snorts, kisses his cheek, and climbs off his lap. "Keep it in your pants for now, babe. I actually want to get to the other part of this date," he says, moving over to the projector.

"And what's that?" Eddie asks.

"Classic monster movies," Steve says, grinning at the excited gasp that comes from Eddie as he turns on the projector. Once it boots up, the mausoleum wall shows the opening menu for a Monster Movie Collection DVD. Steve puts on Frankenstein, making sure the movie actually starts and the opening credits begin rolling before climbing back into Eddie's lap.

"I love you so fucking much," Eddie says, wrapping his arms around Steve's waist and hugging him close as he rests his chin on Steve's shoulder.

Steve grins, leaning back against him and idly playing with one of the rings on Eddie's fingers. "I love you, too. Now shut up and watch the movie. No more making out until at least this one is over."

"Yes, sir."

Steve can't help a soft laugh. He takes Eddie's hand, raises it to his lips, and playfully bites his palm before lacing their fingers together and focusing on the movie.

Tag List: @estrellami-1, @justforthedead89, @starman-jpg, @abstractnaturaldisaster, @sugartin, @ashwagandalf, @xjessicafaithx, If anyone else wants to be tagged in potential future parts, just let me know!

[shawnxstyles]

the only one

DATE: JANUARY 2, 2024

summary: you go on your first date with peter, and it ends even better than you could have ever expected. ;)

request: yes!

words: 6.3k

warnings: SMUT (f-receiving [oral, fingering, multiple orgasms], protected sex, dirty talk), language, and the most gentlemanly man.

note: i cannot believe i’m finally writing another gyno!peter after all this time… anyway, this is NOT an actual series, simply just more situations/scenes of these two together!

gynecologist!peter x patient!y/n

–

Every date that you’ve been on in the past never made you this nervous. You didn’t spend two hours just deciding on what to wear and taking an extra hour to prepare yourself. You worked for a fashion magazine, editing and reviewing comments and critiques. You were surrounded by clothes and creativity all day, but struggled to pick a “first-date look” from your closet. You swore you read something about that before…

You never thought first dates were anything more than a simple introduction, a first impression of another human being. It was one of the foundations of the question, “Could I get along well enough with this person to go on a second date?”.

You had only been on two first dates: one with your ex, who you were with for four months, and recently with that guy from your work. The second one was mainly just a hook-up, and the first one obviously led to some type of relationship that didn’t work out in the end. Maybe you didn’t have enough experience in the dating world to be wondering if the amount of nerves you had right now was healthy.

Your hands were clammy as you strapped on your black heels. You noticed you were swallowing more frequently than normal, and you didn’t understand why. When you looked in the mirror, your hands flattened out your black dress more times than you could count, ridding wrinkles that aren’t even there.

After your appointment a few weeks ago, you had texted Peter. More specifically, you texted him the next day. Immediately after simply saying hello and your name, you thought of how many other people he may have given his phone number to. Or worse, how many people he had fingered in his office… You started worrying if you shouldn’t have texted him at all because he was a doctor. He was probably too busy for anything. It was just a nice gesture, maybe?

But an hour later, in the evening, he had texted you back with a short apology. He was working a little past the clock in order to get more doctor stuff done. Even his texts were sweet with a dab of charm. How do women control themselves around him?

Or maybe it was just you, and you were a fucking weirdo.

Yeah it could be that.

Peter and you went on to texting every now and then to texting daily. Texting him was something to look forward to after a long day at work. It also became pretty clear that he wasn’t texting anyone else because well, he was working throughout the day doing doctor stuff while you were doing editor stuff. He would even text you during his lunch break and that always made your heart skip to see his message in the middle of the day.

One night in particular, you were complaining to Peter (yes, you had gotten to the point where you could complain about little inconveniences) about your sink malfunctioning. Instead of asking you to send pictures of the pipes under the sink, he had you FaceTime him. It was the first time you guys have ever called and the second time you’ve ever seen his face, so your heart was a little race-y. But when that charming, wide grin flashed on your screen, he easily slipped into conversation. Peter helped you fix your sink with a little wrench movement along with replacing a broken screw through the phone.

It wasn’t awkward. It was relieving.

You didn’t have to force a certain personality in order to engage in a conversation with him. You felt more yourself than you ever have when talking to him, flowing easily like two streams into one. You hadn’t even realized how late it was by the time you guys ended the call until he was gone. The serenity of your place felt a little more emptier than usual without the sound of his beautiful accent from your speaker. It was nearly midnight by the time you went to bed, wondering how things would be if you and Peter took your friendship a bit further.

Would talking always be this simple? Would he always be this charming?

After that night, you would make excuses to call him. He never denied you, even after he told you he had a long day at the hospital. You guys were not only texting now, but calling daily. You would get excited for his texts and calls, looking forward to talking to him. That’s when you realized you wanted more with him. It felt like you knew each other forever, but it had merely been a few weeks. You wanted to go on a date with him, wanted to be with him in person again. And of course, your mind wandered to the thought of how he is in bed.

If he was that good with just his quick fingers, then how good was he with more space and time? You began to dream about it.

Then he finally asked you. It was so sudden, you honestly didn’t expect it.

You were debriefing your plans for the week and what you had to do at work.

“Sometimes, I feel like my life is on repeat,” You chuckle, but it sounds tired.

“You’re always doing the same thing every week?” Peter questions. He found that he loves just listening to you talk for hours about whatever. He prompts you with questions, and you always answer thoroughly. It’s like an unspoken routine for you two.

“I mean, it feels like that. I never have time to go out and do anything. And when I do, I don’t go out,” You half-smile to yourself as you look down at your lap. You sounded kind of lame, so you were trying not to cringe at yourself.

“You told me your agenda for this week, but what about Saturday and Sunday?”

“Oh, well, you know I don’t work on the weekends. Sometimes, I get extra stuff done at home, but only because I’m bored. I watch TV…” You squint your eyes, trying to think of things you do on the weekend when you’re not busy. “You know, I’m listening to what I’m saying, and I am so lame. God, I need a life outside of work.”

“You’re not lame. Just busy. Give yourself some credit,” he waves off your dig at yourself, and you don’t stop yourself from smiling. He’s just too nice. You can’t take your eyes off him through the small screen as he watches you back.

“Yeah, yeah. Enough about me. What are your weekend plans?” You definitely talk too much, so you always attempt to ask him questions back.

“Well, I was thinking of taking you out,” he very casually says, nonchalantly staring at you through the camera. “Unless you’re busy watching TV.”

“W-What?” Heat crawled up your neck and ears, skin flaming off of his quick words. He’s always charming and always confident with you, so why are you surprised he’s this smooth? You wonder if he’s been thinking about it for a while or if he just got the idea randomly. “Are you serious?”

“Yes. Unless you don’t want to. In that case, I am joking…”

“I want to, Peter,” You smile with the words. It feels impossible to lower your cheek muscles because of the giddiness coursing through you. “If I’m honest, I’ve kind of been waiting for you to ask me.”

“I was a little slow, yeah?”

“Yeah, both the turtle and the hare beat you to the finish line,” His wonderful laugh echoes through the speaker of your phone, and it fills you with warmth.

While other people have belittled you and forced you to be one way, Peter naturally allows you to be yourself. Your wit flourishes, and your insecurities fade into unique parts of you. Whether you two are friends or more, you need more people like Peter in your life.

After you two had confirmed the plans for Saturday, you two both went to bed when the call ended. When your head hits the pillow, it’s instantly filled with scenarios of you and Peter. Mostly how your first date might go. Is he the type to pull out a chair for you? Definitely. Would he pay without a second glance? Probably, knowing he has that doctor paycheck. Would he kiss you after walking you back to your door? Maybe, maybe not.

But he did finger-fuck you in his office, so nothing is really that impossible.

So, you let your mind wander for the rest of the night while you sleep peacefully. Yes, you had some great dreams.

–

Instead of texting you that he’s here, Peter knocks on your door. The sound itself made your heart accelerate instantly as you stride quickly to answer it. You’ve been overthinking all the ways that this day could go bad, seriously hoping that it doesn’t.

“Hey,” Peter says, clearly eyeing you up and down. He sounds slightly breathless, but not as if he just ran to your door. No, more like he’s speechless. But you could just be overanalyzing every little detail.

“Hey,” As you repeat the word back, you’re both silent for a second. It’s not awkward as it is tense. You’re both just observing and taking in the appearance of the other, appreciating the time and effort in the looks. Peter’s wearing a navy button-up with black slacks. The first two buttons are undone, giving you a peek at his seemingly smooth chest. He’s not wearing a jacket, so you get a view of his arms. From the way the rich fabric stretches around his muscles, it’s obvious that he works out. He just keeps getting better. He continues to check more of your boxes. “Let me just go grab my purse really quick.”

You snatch your bag off of the coffee table after checking you have everything. What if his one flaw is that he won’t pay for at least half the dinner? You must prepare for all the possible outcomes.

“You look brilliant,” You can see him swallow before his compliment, and you wonder if he’s as nervous as you are. He never makes it a point to look even the slightest bit unsure, which you admire. He’s very charming, which takes a lot of confidence, and he’s very good at it. When he asked you out in his office, you saw that persona slip just a tad, enough for you to see that he is human and that he gets nervous too. You found him adorable. You still do.

“You as well,” You blush as you shut the door behind you. The two of you walk to his car, and of course, he opens the door for you. You can’t stop blushing. “Seriously, how do you make such a simple outfit look so good?”

“Unbutton it,” he answers before gently shutting your door closed. Your mind instantly went to places that it shouldn’t have, making your skin burn. You thought about unbuttoning his shirt slowly and sensually until it fell down his bulky arms. You thought about unbuttoning his slacks and palming his cock. He would be so hard for you, and you didn’t hesitate to get on your knees. God, you wished it was real because you truly would not hesitate for this man.

You shake your head, attempting to rid yourself of those dirty thoughts, so you can have a peaceful date. A first date with Peter.

–

When you guys get to the restaurant, that small voice in the back of your head expects it to be awkward the second you sit down. But once again, you were proven incorrect.

Peter instantly engages in a smooth conversation, asking how your week was overall. You told him all about work and the papers you’re reviewing, and he told you about some of his patients. Every time he mentions anything doctor related, it just makes you swoon. It’s impressive how intelligent he is, and even more so how hard he works. It’s obvious he loves what he does, and you never realized that loving one’s passion was a must-have in your partner checklist.

You also just love the way he talks. His accent makes your skin hot and your spine tingle. Your mind wanders to places it shouldn’t more often than not. And his gaze never leaves yours, only when talking to the waiter when ordering.

There is never a dull moment. Even as you were patiently waiting for your food, you still found things to talk about.

“What do you think they’re celebrating?” he asks, observing two people in the back corner with smiles on their faces.

“They’re dressed nicely, and they’re holding hands too much to be together for that long. I’m going to guess the three or four month anniversary.”

��What about them?” he nudges his head in the direction of the people not too far from you two, sitting with straight faces.

“Oh, they’re not celebrating. Probably breaking up.”

“Who goes to such a nice restaurant for a break-up?”

“I don’t know. Sounds like rich people problems to me,” You joke, and you both share a chuckle. It feels nice to casually chat and people watch with somebody else. When your food arrives, you both eat with more adding silence, slipping in words slowly.

“Did I tell you you look really good tonight?” Peter changes the topic, eyes fixating back onto you.

“Yes… Thank you,” You feel yourself blushing all over your body. You use your napkin to wipe your lips, but you’re really using it to protect your face. It was so obvious what his words did to you, that’s probably why he said them. Suddenly, the room feels a little too hot, even just in your dress. “Took me a while to find out what to wear.”

“You could have worn a garbage bag and still looked great,” Peter says, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Oh, stop it. You’re such a charmer. What’s your game? What do you want?” Your words are playful, but the look in Peter’s eye seems more serious. More powerful and heated. Eyes you haven’t seen for a long time in another person, and it freezes you still. The only thing that’s countering the lust circling his irises is the uprising smirk on his lips.

“To take you home.”

Boy, was he a charmer.

“Don’t ask if I’m kidding because I’m not,” he adds, setting down his napkin on the table. He leans over, a curl falling onto his forehead. A hand reaches halfway across the white cloth and rests delicately on your hand. Even his touch was warm and soft, not forceful in any way. “If you want, I’d like to.”

“I…” You were speechless. You knew what your answer would be, but you were just starstruck. How can one person be so gentlemanly yet hot? Cocky yet so sweet? God really didn’t give anyone a chance when making Peter. “Yes, I would like that a lot.”

Your thumb rubs reassuring circles on his thumb while you smile like a fool. Peter’s smirk only got bigger as the night went on.

–

You talked. You laughed. You smiled.

But as he drove you to his house, you got nervous again. Maybe you guys would do something as normal as watch a movie. Maybe even cuddle a bit. But you really, really hoped it was more. Especially after your first meeting, you knew Peter wasn’t too shy about sexual matters. However, maybe he didn’t want to do that with you yet and just wanted to take things slow.

But his office…

When his hand was on yours on the table, your memory was brought back right to the moment of his fingers inside of you in the chair. You remembered the feeling of him pushing his digit in and out repeatedly and how good it felt when he removed his latex gloves. Your core rumbled with lust, getting off on the mere fantasy of it all.

When you arrive at his house, you both silently get out of the car. Besides the sound of nature, you could only hear your racing heart and how it was racking against your ribcage in intense beats. He unlocks his door, keying jingling while the breeze flows past. You’re hyper-aware of every noise as if Peter could hear your choppy breath. When he finally opens the door, he lets you in first and you smile, trying to not let your obvious nerves surface.

But you clearly fail when he points it out.

“What are you thinkin’ about?” Your eyes lock on his hands as he rests his key on his door side table and feet as he casually slips off his dress shoes. Everything about him was mesmerizing. You swear you could just watch a documentary of a regular day in his life and you could be starry-eyed.

“Bunch of things.” But it was really just one thing.

“Care to share?” Peter shifts to the kitchen and you follow him like a helpless dog, clutching your bag for dear life.

“I keep thinking about…the last time we were together,” the words fall from your mouth as you round the counter. You felt like you needed to create some distance between you two if you were going to admit something like that.

“What about it?” Peter’s knack to ask questions right now is making your face burn from embarrassment under his bright kitchen lights. He grabs two glasses and fills them up with fridge water without even asking if you wanted some.

“You know, the fun part,” You round the counter to reach the water, slowly taking a sip. When you set the glass down, your eyes don’t leave his chest. You’re too afraid to look into his eyes.

“I thought it was all pretty fun,” he says, placing down his own glass and taking one large step towards you “Especially the part where you came all over my hand.”

Your skin flames, eyes peering at him for a moment before dashing away. His finger slides beneath your chin to turn your face back to him. He could feel your radiating heat and could see the widening of your pupils under the luminous lights.

“Were you thinking of that?” His finger directs your chin upwards, forcing you to look at him. His voice was low and husky, only for you to hear. “Because I haven’t stopped since the day I walked out of that room.”

“Peter…”

“Just say the word, honey, and I’ll kiss you right now.”

You could just melt into a puddle on the floor of his kitchen. His words are so sensual, there is no way you could ever say no to this man. He’s irresistible without trying too hard.

“Please,” You mustered out seemingly breathless while your eyes were locked into his surely.

He doesn’t miss the beat. His head turns as his lips crash against yours. Your lower back hits the island of the counter of marble, but you don’t flinch. His lips electrocute yours, sending jolts of energy coursing through your body like a shock. Your hands naturally find his neat yet messy styled hair on his nape, fingers rummaging through the curly ends. One of his hands holds your waist down from moving as if he already knows you’re antsy to grind on him. His other caresses your jaw in a stable position, the type of dominance you’ve been craving since that day in his office.

His hand goes underneath your thigh, leading you to wrapping your legs around his waist. You thought he was going to sit you on the counter, but he walked all the way to a bedroom without breaking the kiss.

Peter gently lays you on the bed, causing you to depart from the kiss. He wordlessly goes to unbutton his shirt, but you quickly sit up to do it. You’ve been thinking about doing it since he picked you up, so it only seems right that your fantasy comes true, right?

Just like you imagined, you slowly flicked off the buttons and delicately removed the fabric until it was a bundle of cloth on the floor. On the edge of the bed on your knees, you stare up at Peter with a lustful glint in your eye. That glowy look caused Peter to kiss you again, hungrier than before. His force makes you fall onto the mattress again, making you gasp. He trails down your neck in sloppy kisses, touching every inch of your neck and chest with his lips.

“Where did you get this dress?” You didn’t expect him to ask you that while he was groping your breasts through the material. You moan at the feeling of his rough thumbs on your nipples. It’s very distracting while you try to remember where you got the dress that is currently in the way.

“Um Zara? I-I don’t remember,” You moan loudly, not having time to conceal it as he suckles a mark on your neck.

“Do you like it?”

“What?”

“The dress.”

“S-Sure, yeah. It’s-It’s not my favorite, though,” His tousled hair tickles your face as he gets closer to your boobs.

“Maybe you should have worn a garbage bag.”

“Why?” You pull back a little, moving his head up so you can see his face. You thought maybe you would see some expression of disgust, but he only has pure enjoyment. His soft smile turns into a smirk that you’re growing really fond of. It means he’s about to do something hot.

“Because then I wouldn’t feel so bad about ripping it off of you.”

Just like that, the thin straps are easily snapped from his large hands while he yanks the long dress down your body and onto the floor. His mouth instantly went onto your nipple, sucking until he was satisfied with the raw peak of it. He repeated the same movement the opposite one until you were a panting mess, huffing and puffing from just his mouth on your chest.

You can tell he knows how to do this. Yes, he works in gynecology so it’s a benefit that he knows the female body inside and out. But he’s actually skilled in his technique. Although he is hungry and nearly primal, he takes his time with certain areas, making your body want him more and more each time. It’s incredibly smart, and you’re wondering why every man doesn’t know how to properly treat a woman.

You don’t even know your body the way he seems to know it.

His mouth is at your panties before you could even process it. Right when you think he’s about to widen your legs like you so desperately want him to, he stops when his hands rest on your knees gently. He had been going at a fast pace, but now, he’s slow and controlled. Taunting in a way. Torturing.

“I’m going to remove these now, yeah?” He knows you want it now because he has you in his bed right where you want to be. His tone is not as shy as it had been in the office. It’s more controlling yet still soft. “Words, Y/N.”

That demand was all too similar to his words back in the chair with his hands on your waist. He was about to pull off your underwear then for professional reasons, and now, he’s going to yank them off for selfish ones.

“Please take them off,” Just like you had then, you clenched around nothing. Just his sensual words that make you spiral into horny oblivion. Your wavering tone makes him smile as he tugs down the thin material from your legs, tossing them somewhere in the room.

Then he finally widens your legs, facing your aching pussy that hasn’t forgotten about him since all those weeks ago. You were throbbing and leaking to the damn bed sheets, but you couldn’t give a fuck less. You wanted his fingers, his mouth, his cock–anything that he was willing to give you.

“That day,” he starts, “I really wanted to taste you. You were dripping all over my fingers. It was so hard to stay professional.”

He leans down and gets really close to your cunt, inches away from doing what he really wants to do.

“You’ll let me taste you, right?” he asks in an innocent kind of way, but there’s hints of taunt in there. It makes your core burn, and you almost moan at the way his breath hits your center.

“Yes, please. Do whatever you want,” You say that because it’s true–he can do whatever he wants to you, and you would be grateful.

“So polite. So eager,” he kisses your thigh, dangerously close to you now, “And so, so wet.”

“Peter, please,” You were begging now, but you didn’t care. You would beg all night for Peter to touch you the way he did in his office. You’ve tried to replicate it, but it’s no use. You’ve been craving that feeling for weeks now, and he seems to be the only one who can get you there.

“So polite. Good girl.”

To your luck, he doesn’t say another word. He finally puts his mouth on your pussy by slurping up all of your juices. You immediately moan, just by the mere knowledge that his mouth is on you. His tongue slips through your folds all the way up to your clit. Peter suckles on it, feeling it throb in his mouth.

“Taste even better than I imagined,” You don’t know if his whispered words were meant to be heard by you, but you heard them. They caused you to clench right as his tongue slotted inside of you, desperate to taste more of you.

His large hands are pressed against the insides of your thighs, forcing you to stay spread for him. You can feel them ache, but nothing feels as prominent as his tongue inside of you. And then, just when it starts to feel good, he makes it feel even better. One of his digits finds your clit, circling pressure until you’re a moaning mess.

“Fuck, Peter. That’s… so good.”

His mouth pops off of you for a second to catch a breath. But he could honestly drown in the taste of you. He smoothly slides a finger to replace where his mouth was, filling you up just like in his office. Now, his mouth is sucking on your clit, needing to make it throb. You feel that feeling you’ve been chasing for the past few weeks building up in your stomach, and you know it’s not going to be long at all until you achieve it.

“Come. Show me what only I can make you do,” Peter grumbles, his words cascading over your body. The deep rumble of his voice tips you over the edge, causing you to come all over his fingers again. After cleaning up some of your orgasm, he lifts his mouth, but doesn’t remove his fingers. He continues to pump them in and out, even though you’re sensitive.

“So fuckin’ tight, and I haven’t even given you a second finger,” one of his fingers taps of your clit, causing you to gasp at how sensitive you are. “Can you give me another?”

“A-Another one?” You’re panting and sweating from just one, but he wants to give you another? Who is this man, and where has he been all your life? “I can’t.”

“Oh, but you can. The body is an amazing thing,” he inserts another finger into your cunt and increases his intensity on your nerves. You gasp again, moaning without caring how loud you are. “See, your clit makes you do that. And I love that.”

“Oh, Peter,” You helplessly whimpered. As he thrusts his fingers inside of you with that charming smile and a hint of a smirk, you already feel your high approaching you again. The sight and the feel of him was just too overwhelming. With each thrust of his fingers, his arms bulged, forearm veins popping deliciously. He was a sight for sore eyes.

“C’mon, baby. Give me another. Want to feel you clench around my fingers. Imagine it’s my cock. Imagine how big my cock is going to feel in your little, tight cunt.”

His words oozed sex. So it only made sense that you came not long after. Your release coated his skilled hand once again, and this time, he seemed satisfied with your two orgasms.

When you could finally catch your breath, you didn’t see him reaching for his belt like most men do. But you really, really wanted him to reach for his belt.

“Are you tired? How do you feel?” The tone in his voice was soft. He was easily able to change from sex Peter to caring Peter. Your heart melted at his concern.

“Tired, but good tired. I’ve only ever had three orgasms, and you just gave me two of them,” You laughed breathlessly while he chuckled. “Would I be selfish to ask for more?”

That made him laugh. It was wholehearted and deep, echoing throughout the room. “Not at all.”

And then he reaches for his belt. You feel your organs twist in that lustful, horny way that they do when he does anything. When all his clothes are discarded and you’re faced with his raging cock, you’re practically drooling. He was right when he said he was big; thick and veiny all along the sides. It seemed unfair, really.

He reaches over to the nightstand and grabs a condom, ripping it and rolling it on easily. You continue to watch him in awe as he strokes himself a few times over the condom. Truth be told, he’s already incredibly hard. The second he slips inside of you he fears he will come on the spot because of how tight you are.

But he leans over your body, elbows holding himself up. You can smell his fresh scent, full of pine and wood.

“Did I tell you you look beautiful tonight?” he whispers next to your ear, his warm breath hitting your skin, which gives you the shivers. Your hands trail up over his body until they’re resting on his broad shoulders. You can feel his tensed muscles working to hold him up right, even though it looks like an effortless task to him.

“Oh shush. But thank you,” His comment makes your face warm, like a candle right next to your cheek.

“You look especially pretty under me,” his cock brushes your cunt, sliding delicately through the folds. You’re not shy of gasping, trying to mentally prepare yourself for his impeccable size.

When he finally pushes the head in, you take a deep breath and release it in a small whimper. You know you’re tight because you haven’t been with anyone in a few weeks. The most you’ve taken are Peter’s fingers, which are nothing compared to his cock.

He waits a few moments before moving again, giving you time to adjust. But you don’t think you’ll ever be able to fully settle with his size. It seems like he’ll always be stretching you out, no matter how many times you take him.

“Breathe, baby,” his words are breathy and wavering, but so sweet. The small nickname gives you the butterflies you haven’t felt for a while. Not the nervous butterflies, but that tingling, excited feeling of fondness. It’s one of your favorite feelings, and you’re so glad Peter gives you them.

You listen to him, taking deep breaths. He takes the opportunity to push himself a bit further until he’s fully inside of you. He stays still, looking at your face as you grow more comfortable. He watches as your expression contorts into desperation, which is what he’s been waiting for.

“You’re so tight, honey. But you’re taking all of me. Knew you could,” Peter reassures you, even as you clench snuggly around him. It’s embarrassingly hard for him to stay still, given how warm you feel wrapping him.

“Please move. Fuck, I need to feel you.”

Slowly, Peter removes himself and then slots in again. You remember to breathe as his movements become less languid and more fluidly quick. Soon, his thrusts have a bit of speed, causing you to scratch his shoulders at the intensity.

“You’re so big… so deep,” Your moan bounces off the walls of the room, making Peter smirk as he continues to move. His cock pins your hips, shutting down your squirming.

“No one’s ever fucked you like this? Never been this good, baby?” A small huff of his breath hit your skin and you were awed. His words alone could get you off, and then he’s pumping himself perfecting inside of you too, just making you go insane. He knows where all the right spots are, lifting up one of your legs with ease to get a better angle. You love that you can just let him take over you without having to work for your orgasm like you’re used to. You’re used to being on top, but it’s evident that Peter just wants to take care of you. He wants you to be satisfied for once, and you’ve never felt so seen. You’ve never felt so… good.

“Y-You’re the only one,” You sigh as you bite your lip, loving the way he's speaking to you. He’s all sultry in tone and even sexier with his words. You believe he has no flaws that are worth noticing.

“S’right. I’m the only one who can make you feel this good. You can only take my cock like this, deep in your cunt,” All you can do is moan and shake as you feel your next orgasm approaching.

Just when you go to reach down to your clit to push yourself even further, he reads your mind and does it for you. His thick finger circles the throbbing bud until you’re arching your back. Your fingers play with the pebbled nipples on your chest as your insides grow more tight. You haven’t had an orgasm feel this intense yet, so it’s hard to anticipate the feeling.

“Gonna come, baby? Come all over my cock, I need to see it. Need to know I’m the only one who can make you feel this way.”

With one entire pump inside of you, you’re coming over Peter’s cock and showing him that he’s the only one. All you can see is his charming, fatigued smile surrounded by stars. His brown hair is tousled and a dash of sweat is above his eyebrows, but God, he’s never looked so fucking hot.

It’s not long after that he’s coming after you, his release filling the condom completely. Peter was trying his best to hold himself for as long as possible. But with you, he discovered it was very difficult. Like he thought, the second he was inside of you, he could’ve come. You’re so slick and warm, just so alluring.

He gets up from the bed to discard the condom in done trash while you lay there in naked awe. You already know that you’re going to be sore tomorrow like the day after the gym.

As Peter comes back, he has a wipe that he uses to clean you up.

“What are you doing?” You ask before he starts to wipe you.

“Cleaning you up. You know, like aftercare. You can go to the bathroom and even take a bath if you’d like,” Peter answers while you sit straight up dumbfounded. “May I?”

“Yeah, yeah go ahead,” You allow him to soothingly clean you while you just accept it. Your mind is still whirling with confusion. Are all guys supposed to do this? Or is he really just that great? “Thank you. I… No one’s ever done that before.”

“Really? God, you were really with some twats, Y/N,” he shakes his head and walks back to the bathroom while you chuckle. It’s funny that you had to go through those two guys in order to get to Peter. Third time’s the charm. “Want to take a bath?”

You ponder for a second. You were tired, but not like you would drown in the tub. Maybe if you had better stamina you would ask Peter to join you, but for now, maybe you just need to sit and think about what’s happening alone. Peter is too good to be true. He’s such a gentleman, he never misses a beat. You hope you’re not overstepping by accepting.

“Can I? Or is it too much—”

“Nonsense, I want you to be comfortable. Now, do you like the right or left side of the bed?” You stare at him in confusion. One, because that was a random question. And two, because when did he put on boxers?

“What?”

“Which side do you sleep on?” You felt your cheeks burn for some reason, and then you realize you’re still naked while he’s semi-dressed.

“Um right, I think. Why?”

“So you can sleep there. You are staying, aren’t you?” Peter’s cheeks tint rosy red, that peek of nervousness shining through. It made you smile because even if he seems too good to be true, there is a little human in there who’s just like you.

“Yes, of course,” You can visibly see his tenseness fade as a small smile grows on his lips.

“I’ll start the bath then get you some clothes then, or else you’ll keep me hard all night.”

Your skin burns, but you feel like that’s not the last time that will happen to you. Not with Peter. No, you know.

—

thank you all for being patient!! i also think this is the longest taglist i’ve ever had, so thank you again!! 💞

taglist:

-> @motheroffae @noa217 @nelly-belly97 @spidermanffh3000 @httpscomexe @mysticdaisy21 @emilyparkerholland @deathst9r @ellenita98 @ellabellabus07 @mrstealuregirl @bisexual-desi @sherlockstrangewolf @madsttx @graywrites20 @bradtomlovesya @princesspannnn @sageisswaggg @purplerose291 @girlbossnancy @lockwood-lover @marzipaanz @eatshitanddiee @invisibletrolleyson-jeremy @lnmp89 @crybabyddl @pretty-npeach @marine-mayday @aerangi @justanotherpasserby-blog @tinafuentes @moniffazictress11 @eywaheardyou @alwaysclassyeagle @raajali3 @likeapplejuicenpeach @winuvs

crossed out= not able to tag

[anniebeemine]

omg omg omg pls can we have a part 2 to baby fever! Like we tell the team!

It’s a little longer than I anticipated but I can definitely do that!

It was a quiet afternoon at the BAU when you received a text from JJ, who was still on maternity leave after the birth of her son, Michael.

Thought I’d bring the little guy to visit the team. Be there in 20.

A smile spread across your face as you read the message. You quickly shared the news with Spencer, who was reviewing some files at his desk. “JJ’s bringing Michael in for a visit today.”

Spencer looked up, a rare, warm smile gracing his features. “That’s great. I’ve missed having her around.”

Twenty minutes later, you heard the unmistakable sound of baby coos echoing through the bullpen. You and Spencer exchanged excited glances and made your way to the entrance, where you found JJ cradling Michael in her arms. The team began to gather around her, everyone eager to see the newest member of the BAU family.

“Look who I brought!” JJ announced, beaming as she gently rocked Michael.

Penelope was the first to rush over, her eyes shining with excitement. “Oh, JJ! He’s gotten so big!” She reached out, her hands fluttering excitedly as she looked at the baby with adoration. “Can I hold him?”

JJ laughed, carefully handing Michael over to Penelope, who took him as if he were made of the most precious glass. “Of course you can. He loves to be held.”

Morgan sidled up next to Penelope, his usual swagger softened by the presence of the little one. “Hey, little man,” he cooed, lightly tickling Michael’s chin. “You’re gonna be a heartbreaker, aren’t you?”

As everyone gathered around, taking turns holding Michael and chatting with JJ, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of anticipation in your chest. You and Spencer had been quietly planning your own family, and seeing JJ with Michael made that dream feel even more real.

You were holding Michael when you were left alone with JJ. She smiled at you, sensing something in the air. “Thinking about joining the club?” She asked.

“We’ve been,” you paused to search for the right word, “trying.” You cringed, always hating the term but how else do you mildly say Spencer had been stuffing you like a pastry every night for the past two weeks.

JJ chuckled. “You’re going to be an amazing mom.”

You ran the pad of your index finger down Michael’s nose. He nuzzled into the warmth offered by your chest. “If you want, I can take him and bring him back when it’s time to pay for college.”

She laughed loudly. “I say go for it, but I’m not sure about Will.”

You smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to Michael’s forehead. “I think I’ll start with a few more practice runs before I take on the full job.”

JJ grinned, leaning in a little closer. “You’ve got this. Besides, you’ve already got Spencer wrapped around your finger. Imagine how he’ll be with a baby.”

You laughed, the thought of Spencer doting over a baby melting your heart. “He’ll probably read every parenting book known to man, twice.”

JJ nodded in agreement. “And quote them word for word.”

The two of you shared a knowing look before Michael let out a tiny yawn, reminding you both just how sweet this new chapter could be. You handed off Michael to JJ as Penelope returned to with a warm bottle.

Later that day, after wrapping up some paperwork, you and Spencer exchanged a glance. It was time. Spencer squeezed your hand as you both walked toward Hotch’s office, nerves and excitement bubbling up in equal measure.

Spencer knocked softly on the door, and Hotch looked up from his desk. “Come in.”

You stepped inside, Spencer right behind you. Hotch’s brow furrowed slightly as he noticed your hesitant smiles. “Is everything okay?”

You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “Hotch, we wanted to talk to you about something important.” You glanced at Spencer, who was practically vibrating with energy beside you.

“We’re planning on starting a family,” you said, your voice filled with a mix of excitement and nervousness.

Spencer couldn’t contain himself. “Soon!” he blurted out, his face lighting up.

Hotch’s serious expression softened instantly, a rare smile spreading across his face. He stood up from behind his desk and walked over to you both. “That’s wonderful news.”

Before you knew it, Hotch had wrapped both of you in a warm hug.“Congratulations,” he said, his voice filled with genuine warmth. “You’re going to make incredible parents.”

Spencer’s arms tightened around you as Hotch stepped back, a grin on his face. “Thank you, Hotch,” Spencer said, his eyes shining with excitement. “We’re really excited.”

Hotch nodded, a proud and almost fatherly expression on his face. “I’m happy for you both. And don’t worry, we’ll make sure to support you every step of the way.”

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of passion, anticipation, and a bit of chaos. Nights were filled with eager attempts to conceive, the room often filled with laughter and whispered reassurances between you and Spencer. The connection between you grew stronger, fueled by the shared excitement of what might come.

But it wasn’t just about those intimate moments. Spencer, true to form, buried himself in research, combing through books and articles on fertility and conception. He eagerly shared his findings with you, from scientifically-backed tips to more unconventional methods. You couldn’t help but laugh when he brought up trying different positions or timing based on your body’s natural rhythms. His enthusiasm was contagious, and you found yourself more invested in the process than you ever imagined.

One evening, after yet another round of passionate effort, Spencer surprised you by pulling out a list of old wives' tales he’d discovered in his research. “Did you know that some people swear by eating pineapple or even keeping your feet warm after...?” he said, eyes twinkling with a mix of amusement and curiosity.

You rolled your eyes playfully but agreed to give some of them a try. You both found yourselves experimenting with all sorts of little rituals—drinking pomegranate juice, trying specific positions, even propping up your legs afterward as you laughed together at the absurdity of it all.

“When can I stop?” You asked, your head grazing the floor as you sat upside down on the couch, knees draped over the back. He’d placed a pair of socks on your feet earlier.

Spencer, who was sitting nearby with a book in hand, glanced over at you with a small smile. “Just a few more minutes,” he said, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice.

You groaned, tilting your head to look at him. “You know this is ridiculous, right?”

He chuckled softly, closing his book and setting it aside. “Maybe, but it doesn’t hurt to try. Besides,” he added, moving to sit beside you on the floor, “I think it’s kind of fun.”

You gave him a playful glare, though it was hard to maintain with the blood rushing to your head. “Fun for you, maybe. I’m the one upside down.”

Spencer leaned in, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “Think of it as a bonding exercise.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, the sound echoing in the quiet room. “If this works, I’m making you do it next time.”

He grinned, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your forehead. “Deal.”

A couple of weeks later, the routine of trying, waiting, and hoping had become almost second nature. You had gone in for some routine blood work, not expecting much—just the usual check-up to make sure everything was on track. Spencer had insisted on coming with you, ever the supportive partner.

The nurse had drawn your blood, made small talk, and promised to call with the results in a day or two. It felt like a formality at this point. You and Spencer had become pros at managing expectations, keeping things light despite the heavy anticipation that lingered between you both.

But then the call came.

You were at work, finishing up some paperwork, when your phone buzzed. Seeing the clinic’s number, your heart skipped a beat. With slightly shaky hands, you answered.

“Hi, this is Y/N.”

“Hi, Y/N, this is Nurse Williams from Dr. Peters’ office. I just wanted to let you know that we got your blood work back.”

You held your breath, glancing at Spencer across the room. He was deeply focused on something at his desk, but as if sensing your gaze, he looked up, his eyes narrowing in concern.

“And?” you prompted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Well, everything looks good… and I’m pleased to tell you that it looks like you’re pregnant! It’s very early, but the levels are definitely there.”

You froze, the world around you seeming to still. “Wait, really? I’m… I’m pregnant?” You stood up abruptly, grazing Spencer’s shoulder as you rushed to the conference room for privacy.

“Yes, congratulations! We’ll want to see you again soon to monitor things, but it’s definitely looking positive.”

You barely managed to thank her before ending the call, your hand trembling as you lowered the phone. Spencer was up and across the room in an instant, his eyes filled with concern. “What is it? What did they say?” He asked as he shut the door behind him.

You blinked up at him, your voice catching in your throat as you tried to speak. Finally, you managed a smile, tears of joy welling up in your eyes. “Spence… we’re pregnant. It worked. I’m really early on, but… we’re having a baby.”

For a moment, he just stared at you, the words sinking in. Then, his face broke into the widest grin you’d ever seen, and without hesitation, he wrapped you in a tight hug, lifting you off the ground as he spun you around. “We’re having a baby!” he exclaimed, laughter and tears mingling in his voice.

You clung to him, both of you laughing and crying as the reality of it all settled in. After everything—the anxious waiting, the ups and downs—it was finally happening. You were going to be parents.

Spencer set you down gently, his hands cupping your face as he looked at you with pure adoration. “You’re amazing,” he whispered, kissing you softly. “I can’t believe it… we’re really going to be parents.”

You nodded, tears still streaming down your face. “We are,” you whispered back, feeling a warmth and happiness that you’d never known before.

For a long moment, you just held each other, soaking in the joy of this new beginning. Then, Spencer pulled back slightly, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “We have to tell the team.”

You laughed, nodding in agreement. “But first, let’s just enjoy this moment… just us.”

Spencer smiled, kissing you again, more tenderly this time. “Just us,” he agreed, his hands resting gently on your still-flat stomach, already protective of the life growing inside.

The first trimester had been a mix of excitement, nausea, and fatigue, but as it came to an end, the secret you and Spencer had been keeping became harder and harder to contain. You were both eager to share the news with the team, the people who had become your family over the years.

You’d just wrapped up a tough case, and everyone was exhausted. The jet ride back had been quiet, with most of the team catching up on much-needed rest. Even Spencer had dozed off for a bit, his hand resting protectively over yours the entire time.

Back at the BAU, as the team filed out of the jet and started to wrap up for the day, you exchanged a glance with Spencer. He nodded, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. It was time.

Taking a deep breath, you turned to the group. “Hey, everyone, before you head out, can you meet us in the conference room for a minute? We have something we’d like to share.”

There were curious glances all around, but no one questioned it. They all followed you and Spencer to the conference room. As they entered, they were greeted by the sight of a small cake with candles on the table, and next to it, a framed sonogram image.

Penelope was the first to notice, her eyes widening behind her colorful glasses. “Oh my God,” she whispered, her hand flying to her mouth.

Morgan, standing beside her, looked between you and Spencer, a grin spreading across his face. “Are you two…?”

Spencer smiled, unable to contain his excitement any longer. “We’re having a baby.”

The room erupted in cheers and congratulations. Emily clapped her hands together, her face lit up with a huge smile. JJ immediately pulled you into a tight hug, tears of happiness in her eyes. Hotch and Rossi both stepped forward to shake Spencer’s hand, with Rossi giving him a fatherly pat on the back.

Penelope couldn’t stop bouncing on her toes. “This is the best news ever! We need to celebrate!”

You laughed, feeling overwhelmed with joy as you looked around the room at your team—your family. “That’s what the cake is for,” you said, smiling as you gestured to it. “We wanted to tell you all together.”

Hotch, who rarely showed much emotion, smiled warmly as he looked at the sonogram. “Congratulations, both of you. This is wonderful news.”

Spencer wrapped an arm around you, his face glowing with pride and happiness. “We’re really excited,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “And we’re so glad to share this moment with all of you.”

As everyone gathered around the table, the candles on the cake were lit, and for a moment, you just stood there, taking it all in—the warmth, the love, the sense of family that surrounded you. Spencer leaned in close, his lips brushing your ear. “We did it,” he whispered, his voice full of wonder.

You turned to him, your eyes shining. “We did,” you whispered back, your heart swelling with love for the man beside you and the little life you were about to bring into the world.

[hgfictionwriter]

Handy - Part Two

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie isn't done helping you with household projects. In fact, she helps you undertake your biggest one yet. But can she finally tell you how she feels? To be determined.

Warnings: None other than it's sickly sweet.

A/N: Thank you SO much for the response to the original post. I'm excited to share Part Two with you all. I hope you enjoy! Part One is here if you need it.

"Good morning! How is your day going?"

"Morning Jessie :) My morning's going okay. It's still early, so not much to report yet lol. I have a couple of meetings later though. How is your morning going? Let me guess, even though you have the day off, you've been up since pretty much sunrise, you've probably fit in a run, a couple of chapters and had breakfast haha."

"Why do I feel like you're making fun of me? lol. And you may be right about all of those things."

"Not making fun - it's really more admiration. If I had the day off I'd still be fast asleep lol."

"There's nothing wrong with that either. For the record."

"I appreciate the sentiment lol. Very generous of you. So, what do you have planned for your day off?"

You leaned back in your chair and waited as the three dots faded in and out in sequence. A frown crossed your face as they disappeared. Before you could think too much about it they came up again. Another frown creased your forehead as they disappeared once more. You sat up. What was going on?

A few moments later the dots reappeared and shortly after a text mercifully came through from Jessie.

"I'm running some errands in the SW today. I probably won't be too far from your office. If you're not too busy or don't have plans already, maybe we could go for lunch?"

Another text came through a moment later.

"No pressure though."

You leaned back in your chair and smiled. She was really so cute.

It had been a couple of weeks since your impromptu night over at Jessie's. You'd seen each other since, including when Jessie did in fact come by your apartment to patch up the drywall.

That said, lunch together mid-week was something new.

"That sounds great. I'm in a meeting until 11:30, but can meet you after."

"Okay! You know the area, so you pick where and I'll meet you there."

The morning went by quickly and before you knew it you were walking into the restaurant and wordlessly searching the tables until you saw Jessie. If she saw you, she was making a point of not showing it. Instead, she leaned into the menu, studying it rather determinedly.

"Fancy seeing you here," you teased as you grabbed a seat. She looked up, eyebrows high in surprise and greeted you.

"Oh hey!"

You resisted the urge to blush as she - inadvertently or not - looked you up and down.

"I feel like I'm underdressed," she muttered, giving a nod to your business attire before leaning back in her chair and tucking her hands into her hoodie pocket. You gave her a look.

"Don't be silly. You look great." She gave you a dismissive frown and you went on, shrugging off your jacket and picking up the menu. "I hope you weren't waiting long."

"No, no," she dismissed readily as she began reviewing the menu once more. "Gave me time to figure out what I want."

"Okay, good. I always get the poke bowl," you told her and a wry smirk formed on her face as she looked at you over the menu.

"I knew it," she said in a very self-satisfied way.

"You know me so well." You rolled your eyes with a short laugh. "What kind of errands were you running in this part of town anyway?"

You frowned as she lifted her eyebrows high again, forehead creasing as she worked to respond. She didn't avert her eyes from the menu in her hands.

"Uh, just picking up something for the team," she relayed evenly.

"Oh. What was that?" You asked, curious and truthfully a bit skeptical.

The blush she'd been fending off broke through and her cheeks began to glow pink under your scrutiny. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Just some gear. Nothing exciting," she said with a laugh, her voice slightly higher than normal.

"Oh, I thought equipment staff would take care of things like that," you said lightly, immediately seeing her readying a rebuttal. You cut her off with a cheeky remark. "I would've said otherwise that if you just wanted to have lunch together you could simply ask."

Her face grew red and she subconsciously sunk into her chair a bit before righting herself and frowning at you.

"I know that." She nearly pouted before huffing exaggeratedly. She shot you a look and spoke pointedly. "Anyway, I have those new hinges for your cupboard. Does Friday still work for you?"

"It does, thank you," you said, allowing her some reprieve.

You enjoyed your lunch together, and although you wanted it to last longer, you had to be back at the office soon. You'd excused yourself to the washroom and when you came back Jessie was hunched over the table concentrating on something. When she heard the scraping of your chair on the floor she looked up.

"Good timing," she said with a quiet smile as she held out a small folded item for you. "His name is Bernard. He's for you."

The puzzled look on your face was quickly replaced with a wide smile as you realized what it was.

"An origami dinosaur!" You exclaimed excitedly as you looked it over. "The best use of a napkin I've seen yet."

Though Jessie wasn't outwardly beaming, the lift in her shoulders and the brightness in her eyes told you she was pleased by your reaction.

"He's awesome," you told her as you began to tuck him into your bag.

"Oh, I was just kidding, you don't have to keep him. I was just messing around," Jessie said, belated embarrassment now encompassing her. You stilled your movements and shot her a look.

"Throw Bernard away? And you kidding me?" You asked in mock offense. "He's mine now. For good."

Her cheeks were bright pink, but she laughed as she stood.

"So...Friday?" She asked again, a hint of nervousness sneaking back into her voice despite how nonchalant she was trying to make herself look. You nodded decisively.

"Friday."

"Alright. Well," Jessie stalled momentarily scratching her temple idly, her gaze focused elsewhere before she looked to you again with a small smile. "Thanks for having lunch with me. I hope your afternoon goes well."

"Thanks for meeting me. Let me know if you have to run anymore errands around here," you said with the faintest hint of teasing. It was enough to get Jessie to look away and blush once more.

"Yep. I will."

"Bye, Jess," you said easily as you stepped towards her and pulled her into a hug. Though her hold on you was still a bit tentative, like she didn't want to relax into it too much, it was still a far cry from how she'd been that first night.

When you pulled away, her hands went behind her back immediately and she went up onto her tiptoes. "I'll walk you to your car."

------

"What's this?"

You looked over with a frown. You cracked a smirk as Jessie stood there, looking at you accusingly as she held up a paint swatch as if it was a piece of evidence.

"A paint swatch," you replied slowly.

"I'm aware," she said in exaggeration before looking a bit disappointed. "Why didn't you tell me you were planning to paint?"

You shrugged, really more distracted by how cute and endearing she looked as she pouted.

"Um, I'm sorry?" You offered with lackluster earnest.

She rolled her eyes and walked over to your wall with the swatch. You watched her as she frowned in concentration, lifting her other hand up to rest on her chin as she studied the colours in front of her.

"I think-" she started before turning her head to you. "Wait - do you want my opinion?"

You laughed. "Of course I do. You're my resident handyperson. Personal reno expert. Whatever title you prefer."

Jessie's lips pulled into a tight, shy smile as her cheeks began to grow pink. She turned her attention back to the swatch.

"I like this third one. I think the one above it will just end up too washed out and the one below will make the space feel closed in and small."

"Well, we're in luck, because that's the one I was thinking of."

She gave you a nod of approval before walking back over to you. She folded her arms across her chest, planting her feet and exhaled briefly. She took a moment before looking at you.

"Well. You're going to need a lot of supplies. So, we could go together and get them," she trailed off, her gaze following before resetting. "And it'll take you ages to do this whole place on your own, so," she waved her hand aimlessly for a few seconds, "I can help."

"Jessie." You gave her a pointed look. "As much as I appreciate that, painting is a big ordeal. You've already done way too much for me."

She surprised you by looking nearly hurt by the sentiment.

"I don't mind. Seriously. I told you I was happy to help and I meant it. Mean it." She gave a listless shrug. "I like painting."

"A whole condo?" You scrutinized, arching an eyebrow at her.

She blushed a bit, the smallest of smiles sneaking out as she shrugged once more. "We make a good team."

————

It should've been no surprise to either of you that it didn't take much convincing for Jessie to get her way. The following week you were driving around town together picking up paint and accompanying supplies.

Again, you had to give yourself a reality check when you and Jessie were wandering the paint aisle of the hardware store together. It was too easy to think of yourselves as something more as you controlled the list (though curated mostly by Jessie...) and she pushed the cart and dutifully retrieved items.

It was pathetic, really, how you were fighting for your life, trying not to smile as you two were leaned in together as you compared and debated two types of paint brushes. You had to roll your eyes at yourself. You were in way too deep.

To make matters worse, Jessie - after bouncing her knee all through lunch and determinedly avoiding eye contract with you - offered to have you stay at her place while painting was under way.

"I'll take the couch again. You really can't stay here with the furniture all awry and tarped, and the fumes."

She was going to be the death of you.

"Okay, so everything's set - we've moved everything, things are tarped, supplies are laid out-"

"Meticulously so," you interjected with a teasing smirk. She shot you a mocking glare.

"We can get taping," she announced patiently.

You walked over wordlessly and removed her hat. You saw her swallow as she looked at you with wide, brown eyes.

"Not your nice hat," you told her as you tucked it away and retrieved a hat of your own. "I don't want you to get paint on it. Here, you can wear mine instead." You placed it on her head with a gentle smile, sure not to laugh at how her cheeks were now burning red.

She cleared her throat and adjusted the hat. "Okay, well, let's get started."

It was only a few minutes in when Jessie interjected.

"What are you doing?" She asked, clearly aghast and not hiding it particularly well.

You sat back on your heels and looked at her.

"Cutting in?"

"Freehand?" She said, her voice rising and narrowing her eyes in sheer disbelief. "That's what the tape-" Jessie's words trailed off as she examined your work. "Oh," sounding nearly deflated. "That's actually quite good."

You gave her a teasingly scrutinizing look as you did air quotes. "'Actually quite good.' Wow. The disrespect." She rolled her eyes at you with a laugh and nearly stamped her foot.

"Come on, you know what I mean."

You shook your head at her. "You're not the only one with skills here, Fleming."

You bit back a smile as her cheeks started to darken. She distracted by readjusting her hat, tucking her hand into her pocket and idly shifting her weight from one foot to the next.

"Is that so?" She asked.

"It is. I just haven't had my chance to shine," you continued cheekily as you stood up.

"Well, what I'm hearing is you don't need my services," she said, a glint now in her eyes.

"Jess." Her name came out like a pout and you gave her arm a gentle shove. She grinned before lifting her chin haughtily and giving a shrug.

"I mean, I can go."

"Jessie," you protested once more, jostling her a bit this time and pulling a wide smile out of her. You gave her a look of warning. "Don't make me beg you to stay."

That glint was still in her eyes as she leaned in and gave you a soft nudge with her shoulder. "Fine. I'll get back to work," she deadpanned.

You worked steadily for several hours, you and Jessie finding a good cadence and coordinating seamlessly early on. You nicked the baseboards and doorframes on a couple of occasions, but it was Jessie's fault. How could you be expected to remain steady and focused when you could see the muscles in her back flex and her calves pop as she maneuvered herself along the wall to paint. And her t-shirt sleeves rolled up onto her shoulders? A little too attractive. Never mind her biceps being on display.

The other close call was when you nearly dropped the roller when you felt her hand on your back as she shimmied past you and around the furniture at one point. The contact was feather-light, but it sent a shiver through you nonetheless.

Eventually, you both took a break, sitting flush against one another on the tarped floor, your backs against the couch that had been moved into the center of the room.

You were taking a sip of water when Jessie's phone began to buzz. You saw her look at it and you told her to take the call.

"Mm. It's just my sister. I'll call her back later." Shortly after the buzzing stopped, a text came through. Jessie read it quickly and sighed before calling her back.

You rose from your spot, aware of Jessie's eyes on you as you did so. You retreated to the other room to give her some space. However, you could still overhear Jessie despite how hushed she was trying to speak. You weren't intentionally trying to eavesdrop, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't curious.

"...I can't right now...I'm out..." A huff. "I'm...at a friend's...No...No...No." Then, in an even more hushed tone. "Y/N's..." Another exasperated huff. "I'll call you later. Yes! Okay. Bye!"

You gave it a few moments, but couldn't resist much longer and came back into the living room to see Jessie looking flustered and a blush lingering on her cheeks. She met your eyes before her gaze darted away.

"Hey," she nearly mumbled before standing up and brushing off her shorts needlessly. You, again, tried not to get distracted by her paint-covered hands. "Shall we continue?"

You worked late into the night finishing a first coat across the rooms before packing it up. Your body ached.

"I can't believe you have a game tomorrow. I'm so sorry," you told her, guilt creeping in.

"What for?" Jessie looked genuinely puzzled.

"Aren't you sore? My back is killing me," you asked incredulously.

"Oh, no, I'm feeling fine. It's good conditioning," she joked. "We'll get you a heat pack when we get back to my place."

You were going to need a hell of a lot more than a heat pack, but you gave her a grateful nod nonetheless. You bent to pick up your overnight bag, but her hand shot out and grabbed it before you could. She stood and swung it effortlessly over her shoulder.

"Ready?"

A/N: You all have me so into this now that I couldn't fit everything I wanted into two parts. Third part is available here.

[ninjaturtlemaniac]

Part 1 Trolls Headcanons/ Theories/ Thoughts/ Ideas

Part2 Part3 Part4 Part5 Part6 Part7 Part8 Part9 Part10

Trolls - in general Trolls are pretty rare outside their usual kingdoms and it's considered good luck to meet one.

Brozone - drastically changed their looks coz they hate that they used to dress the same.

Bruce - one of those dads who would get a new barbeque and show off all the cool features to the other local dads.

Bruce - "No kids, we're not keeping that stray animal, end of story, no way..." - 1 week later and he's giving it kisses and building it an over the top kennel with a heated blanket and a water fountain.

Bruce - (canon?) carried all their eggs, indirect reason why his hair is so big. (Side note - I read somewhere someone called all their kids 'The Bakers Dozen' and I frigging love that)

Floyd - solo career after he left Brozone - all his songs were PINK FLOYD SONGS! (Maybe that could've been his stage name?)

Floyd - his hair is naturally pink but JD made him make it redder because 'we're a boyband and pink is a girls colour'

John Dory - has embarrassing baby pictures of his brothers as leverage

John Dory - over-exaggerates his retellings of stories "I fought off 30 no no no 40 snakes with one hand behind my back."

John Dory - always casually asking Poppy, Brandy and Viva to marry him, over small things too "Brandy, these pancakes are delicious, marry me."

Clay - writes long and very detailed critical reviews of restaurants

Clay - has reading glasses. Probably the ones that attach magnetically at the nose ridge.

Clay - labels everything (labelmaker is to Clay as Gary is to Branch)

Clay - very into color coded itineraries and always know everyone's business "Poppy is currently at Smidge's pod doing her hair" "How could you possibly know that?" "I have my sources."

Clay - also a notary and registered marriage celebrant

Clay - hair was always naturally green but JDs hair was already green. JD said he had to be yellow for the band, they needed that color coordinated group vibe.

Clay - has drafts for his own book series

Clay - actually plays golf

Clay - gets clumsy when trying to impress someone he admires (imagine him meeting King Peppy and he just knocks things over)

Clay - competitive af - brothers know better than to verse him at anything - has an over the top victory dance

Viva - that concept art of tiny Viva is the age she was when they escaped the Troll Tree. So like 15 maybe?

Viva - wants to make up for all the missed holidays/birthdays/parties with Poppy so she is constantly popping out from places with gifts yelling SURPRISE!

Branch - for Pop Trolls - being in a famous singing group is the equivalent of being a recognized expert in your field. So the fact that Branch is in TWO famous boy bands is like he has several PhDs.

Branch - Kismet formed inside a group home for Trollings

Poppy and Vivas mother - my theory is that they managed to keep princess Viva a secret from the Bergens. They chose the Queen for Trollstice when they discovered what they thought was her first egg. The Troll Tree escape plan came about when Chef promised the new royal trolling for the young Bergen prince.

[levisolace]

[6] Expendable Hearts (Levi x F!Reader)

Chapter 6: Busy Nights

WC: 6664 Chapter Warnings: just angst again Summary: Everyone in Levi's life knows he only ever dated one girl and that she left him wrecked, bitter, and heartbroken. Many years later, she's back in his life and he doesn't know what to do. Note: Levi POV in this chapter !! ^^ Oh, and unfortunately, there will probably no update until after the 17th of October. I have uni exams and my study schedule is clashing with work so I probably won't time have time to write until then. See you until then! (We're gonna get more angsty and a little steamy(?) when I come back, I promise.) check out the expandable hearts playlist here!

story masterlist | prev chapter > next chapter

Over the next few days, you found yourself checking your phone more than usual, a small flicker of anticipation stirring each time you saw a new message. On Wednesday afternoon, Kuchel finally texted you the details of the dinner, and to your surprise, it wasn’t at the restaurant.

Would dinner at my place this Thursday be good? 7PM. Just us. Don’t bring anything—just yourself. See you then. —Kuchel

You stared at the message for a moment, blinking. Kuchel’s home? You hadn’t expected something so personal, but it made sense. After all, this wasn’t just any casual dinner. It was a reunion, an intimate moment to reconnect outside the hustle and noise of her now-bustling restaurant.

A mix of emotions bubbled up as you responded with a quick response.

Sounds perfect. I’ll be there.

As the dinner date drew closer, you found yourself thinking about Kuchel more than you expected. Memories from the time you worked at her small, then unassuming restaurant resurfaced—late nights closing up, chats over coffee while you helped her organize orders, Levi’s rare moments of humor in between his sharp instructions. It all seemed so distant now, like a chapter of your life that belonged to someone else.

A couple of minutes after confirming the dinner with Kuchel, another message buzzed on your phone, pulling you from the stack of legal documents you’d been reviewing. You glanced at the screen and saw Hange’s name pop up and you remember she has been pestering you about her bachelorette party. She kept sending the same message everyday for the past week.

Heyyy! Guess what? You’re invited to my bachelorette party! 🎉🎉 It’s going to be WILD. Be there, or I’ll hunt you down!! This Saturday at 8 PM. The details are attached here. Can’t wait to see you!!

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you read the message. Hange hadn’t changed one bit. She always had this vibrant energy that could light up any room, and apparently, she was bringing that energy to her bachelorette party. The thought of attending the event tugged at something inside you—an old camaraderie, a time when things were simpler, messier, but undeniably fun.

The idea of being surrounded by familiar faces again—of slipping back into that old rhythm—both excited and unsettled you. But Hange’s invitation was impossible to refuse. She had a way of pulling people into her orbit, and you knew this wouldn’t be any ordinary night. Besides, Levi won’t be there anyway.

As the day unfolded, the prospect of Kuchel’s dinner and Hange’s bachelorette party loomed closer, each event pulling you back into the life you once had here. It felt as though the city, with all its memories and relationships, was welcoming you back in layers—one familiar face at a time. And you don’t even know if you deserved it. 

—

When the evening finally arrived, you made your way to Kuchel’s home, which was tucked into a quiet neighborhood just a few blocks away from the restaurant. The walk there felt almost surreal, the streets of Stohess now familiar yet filled with memories. When you arrived, you found the house just as warm and inviting as the woman who owned it.

Kuchel’s home was modest, but there was a charm to it—plants lining the windowsills, warm lights glowing from inside, and the faint scent of cooking wafting out the front door. You took a deep breath and knocked.

The door swung open almost immediately, and there she was, smiling as though no time had passed at all.

“You made it,” Kuchel said, her voice bright as she stepped aside to let you in. “Come on in, the food’s almost ready.”

You stepped inside, taking in the cozy, lived-in feel of the space. Photos lined the walls, some of Levi as a boy, and others of what seemed to be old family gatherings. The warmth of the place wrapped around you, instantly putting you at ease.

“I haven’t been here in so long,” you said softly, looking around.

Kuchel smiled as she led you into the kitchen, where a simple but delicious-smelling meal was simmering on the stove. “I figured it’d be nice to have dinner somewhere quiet. We can talk without the restaurant noise, and besides, I’ve been meaning to catch up with you for a long time.”

As you took a seat at her kitchen table, Kuchel poured you a glass of wine, her movements graceful and familiar. “It’s been too long. You’ve done so much since you left, and I want to hear everything.”

You smiled, settling into the moment. “There’s a lot to catch up on,” you admitted. “But I want to hear about you, too. Kuchel’s has grown so much—I couldn’t believe it when I saw how busy it was the other night.”

Kuchel laughed softly as she joined you at the table. “Levi deserves most of the credit for that. He’s been the driving force behind the expansion. I never imagined we’d get this far, honestly. But enough about work—for tonight, let’s treat each other like the old times.” 

You took a sip of your wine, feeling the warmth of the room and the comfort of Kuchel’s presence sink in. “It’s been a whirlwind,” you began, knowing that this evening would be one of reconnection, not just with Kuchel, but with the parts of yourself that you’d left behind when you moved away. You began to tell her what happened like how you tell it to everyone, how you left the city, moved your grandma, went to law school, how your grandma died, and how you began to work in Trost. 

And as the night unfolded, with laughter and stories shared over a lovingly prepared meal, you realized how much you had missed this—missed her, and the sense of home that Kuchel had always provided.

As the dinner with Kuchel neared its end, the conversation had drifted from light-hearted reminiscing to more personal territory. You both shared a bottle of wine, laughter mixing with memories, but there was a point where the ease of the evening gave way to something deeper. Kuchel, always observant, seemed to notice the way your smiles didn’t quite reach your eyes, the way you hesitated before answering certain questions.

She set her glass down, her expression softening as the last bit of warmth from the meal filled the quiet space between you. “I’m really glad you’re back,” she said, her voice gentle but with an edge of seriousness. “You were with someone else when I first saw you but it’s been plaguing my mind so I came to ask you to meet me. I’m sorry, dear… I have to ask, how are you really doing?”

You looked down at your plate for a moment, the weight of the question settling in. Kuchel had always been able to read you, even when you didn’t want to be read. She wasn’t one for surface-level small talk—not with you.

“I’m fine,” you started, instinctively offering the answer you’d given everyone else. But Kuchel’s eyes didn’t waver, and the sincerity of her gaze made you pause. She wasn’t letting you get away with that.

She leaned forward slightly, resting her elbows on the table, her voice a little softer now. “I know it’s been a long time, and I don’t expect you to spill everything right now… but I can see it. You’ve been through something. So, how have you really been?”

The words hung in the air, and for the first time all night, you felt exposed. You hadn’t planned on opening up—not tonight, maybe not ever—but something about Kuchel’s quiet persistence, her maternal presence, made you feel safe enough to let the guard down.

“You know—and don’t tell Levi I told you this but… when the breakup happened, Levi didn’t take it well. And I never got to talk to you about it. But if Levi experienced that… it was probably bad for you too, wasn’t it?” She reached for your hand across the table, placing a comforting hand on yours, and caressing it with care and love of a mother. 

It took all of you to control your emotions right there and then. For Kuchel to say this, the curiosity of what Levi endured during those times that you broke things off and what happened to everyone after you left only became stronger, accompanied with greater guilt that you have always been carrying. You look away and take a deep breath, setting your own glass aside. “I… it was hard for me too, I admit.”

Kuchel nodded, not interrupting, just listening in that patient way of hers. It encouraged you to continue.

“When I left, it was all I could think of doing. But it feels like I just ran. Away from here, from everything. And now that I’m back, it’s like… all of it is catching up to me, and I don’t know what to do with it.”

You hadn’t meant to be so honest, but once the words started spilling out, it was hard to stop. Kuchel listened intently, her eyes filled with understanding, but she didn’t say anything right away.

“I knew there was more under the surface,” she said softly. “You’ve always been strong, but sometimes it’s okay to stop carrying it all alone. I can see it’s hard to tell what really happened and I—we can wait. There’s still people that love you here. You can find your way back to them.”

Her words hit deeper than you expected, and for the first time in a while, you felt a small sense of relief—a release of the tension you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding. It was comforting, having someone like Kuchel, who knew you before the layers of adulthood and responsibility piled on.

“Thanks,” you whispered, your voice barely above a murmur. “I guess I just needed to hear that.”

Kuchel smiled warmly, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. But don’t keep it bottled up either. You’ve got people here who care, people who are still part of your life—whether it’s me, or Hange, or whoever else. Don’t be a stranger.”

You nodded, feeling the sincerity in her words settle over you like a warm blanket. There was something about the way she said it that made you believe it.

The evening ended on a note of quiet understanding, Kuchel walking you to the door with a promise to see each other again soon. As you stepped out into the night, the weight on your shoulders felt just a little lighter, knowing that at least here, in this corner of your past, you had someone who understood—someone who saw through the cracks and cared enough to reach out.

—

After saying your goodbyes to Kuchel and leaving her cozy home, the cool night air greeted you as you stepped out of the cab in front of your apartment. The streets were quiet, only the occasional flicker of distant headlights passing by, the buzz from your dinner still lingering in your mind. Kuchel's words played over and over in your head—her gentle insistence that you didn’t have to carry everything alone. You felt lighter, as if some invisible weight had been lifted, but also heavy with the realization that coming back to the city meant dealing with more than just the people from your past. It meant facing the reality that this is the present–your current situation, something you can no longer run away from. 

As you rounded the corner of your street, something caught your eye—a familiar silhouette, leaning casually against the building. At first, you thought you were imagining it, the streetlights casting long shadows that distorted the figure. But as you approached, the figure became clearer, the unmistakable stance of someone you hadn't expected to see, but somehow weren’t surprised by.

Levi.

He stood there, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his expression as unreadable as ever, but there was a tension in his posture that told you this wasn’t just a casual visit. His dark eyes flicked up as you approached, locking onto yours with the same intensity you remembered. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you heavy with unspoken words.

“What are you doing here?” you finally asked, your voice quieter than you intended, but firm enough to mask the sudden rush of emotions swirling inside you.

Levi pushed off from the wall, standing straighter as he took a few slow steps toward you. 

"How was the dinner?" he asked, the words falling out more out of habit than genuine curiosity. He didn't need to know about the dinner, not really. He just needed to say something.

“You knew?” You blinked, surprised that he even knew about it. Then you remembered, of course—Levi was always aware of things, especially when it came to Kuchel. He probably knew you'd be seeing her tonight even if she didn’t tell him. 

"It was nice," you said, carefully, as if you were trying not to give too much away. "Kuchel’s doing well."

Levi nodded, his gaze shifting for a second, as though considering whether to say something more. But instead, he settled on something simple. "Good."

Another silence stretched between you, longer this time. It was clear he wasn’t going to explain why he’d really come. Maybe you didn’t need to ask—maybe it didn’t matter. But the tension between you felt thick, almost suffocating. The years apart hadn’t erased anything. You can still feel the immeasurable amount of love he has for his mother. In honesty, you’d expected him to be angry that you reconnected with Kuchel. But of course, this was Levi. If it’s mother’s happiness or want, he would never question or fault her for it. 

Levi nodded, staring down at the ground for a beat, shoving his hands back into his jacket pockets. There was no reason for him to stay, but he lingered, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. The streets were quiet, save for the distant hum of the city around you both.

"You didn’t have to come all the way out here," you said, breaking the silence, your voice soft but carrying a note of hesitation. You didn’t ask him outright why he was there, but it was implied.

Levi shrugged, his eyes meeting yours briefly before drifting off again. "Maybe I did."

You swallowed, not sure how to respond to that. For all of Levi’s usual bluntness, there was always something deeper that he never quite let show. Something that made it impossible to fully walk away from him, even when you thought you had. 

“Get some rest,” Levi said after a moment, his voice quieter now, almost softer. “You look awful.”

He gave you a curt nod and turned to walk away, leaving you standing there, feeling like something had just shifted between you. Something unspoken, unresolved, and maybe destined to remain that way.  

—

The night of Hange’s bachelorette party arrived with the kind of energy that made the air feel electric. You stood outside the venue, a trendy rooftop bar in the heart of the city, the neon lights of Stohess Street reflected in the glass walls behind you. The place had been transformed—streamers, lights, and enough champagne to fill a small pool. You took a deep breath before stepping inside, knowing that wherever Hange was, chaos was sure to follow.

As you entered, you were immediately hit by a wave of laughter, music, and the unmistakable sound of Hange’s voice ringing out over the crowd. The space was filled with friends, both familiar faces and new ones, all gathered to celebrate. You spotted her almost immediately—Hange was at the center of the room, a crown of flowers on her head and a glass of champagne in hand, already in full party mode.

“There she is!” Hange’s voice rang out as she spotted you from across the room, her face lighting up as she waved you over. She was wearing a sash that read “Bride-to-Be” in glittering letters, and her energy was contagious. “I thought you’d never make it! Come here!”

You smiled, weaving through the crowd of partygoers to reach her. Before you could say a word, Hange pulled you into a tight hug, nearly spilling her champagne in the process.

“I told you it’d be wild!” she laughed, stepping back to take you in. “Look at you! You clean up well.”

“Thanks, Hange,” you said, unable to help but smile at her infectious enthusiasm. “This is… a lot.”

“Only the best for my bachelorette!” she declared, spinning around to show off the venue. “We’ve got drinks, food, and games—oh, and don’t forget the karaoke later.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Karaoke?”

Hange grinned wickedly. “Oh yeah, it’s happening. And you will sing, my friend.”

Before you could protest, Nanaba appeared beside you, already holding a glass of champagne for you. “She’s not kidding about the karaoke. Start thinking of your song now,” she teased, handing you the glass. “Long time no see, girl.”

You took it, laughing softly. “Oh my god, Nanaba,” you greet her with a hug. She hugs you back.

Everyone began to greet you. Out of all the attendees, you only knew Nanaba who thankfully treated you kindly like it hasn’t been years since you’ve last seen each other. Tonight, it will all be about Hange, that’s what she said. 

The party was in full swing, with drinks flowing and people chatting in every corner. You settled into the crowd, reminiscing about college days with Nanaba and meeting new girls, but the chaotic energy of the evening was starting to grow on you. Every time you glanced at Hange, she was in the middle of some new adventure—whether it was a game, making an impromptu speech, or trying to rope someone into a dance-off.

As the night went on, you found yourself at the bar, taking a moment to breathe. That’s when Hange sidled up beside you, a mischievous glint in her eye. “So,” she started, leaning on the bar, “I heard you and Levi ran into each other recently.”

You froze for a second, surprised she’d brought it up. Of course, Hange would know. “Yeah… he returned something I forgot in his car,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

Hange raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying your casual tone. “Oh, just a handkerchief? Interesting.”

You gave her a look. “It was nothing. We barely talked.” While we were having dinner, that is, you thought. 

“Sure,” she said with a teasing grin. “Well, just so you know, I mixed that drink myself.”

You stared at her, caught off guard. “Of course you did.”

She laughed, clearly enjoying your reaction. “What? It’s my party! I want everyone to have fun. Besides, it’ll be fun for everyone to let loose. Don’t worry, it’s not as dangerous as the ones I made from college. I’ve practiced a lot over the years.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. Hange always had a way of stirring the pot, even when she didn’t mean to. Before you could respond, she was pulled away by a group of friends, leaving you to your thoughts for a moment.

The night wore on, and as promised, karaoke eventually took over the party. You found yourself dragged into a group rendition of some 90s throwback song, with Hange leading the charge and everyone laughing so hard they could barely keep up with the lyrics. It was chaotic, messy, and exactly what you’d expected from a night like this.

As you looked around at the familiar faces, the laughter, and the whirlwind energy of the party, you felt a strange sense of belonging—a feeling you hadn’t realized you’d missed until now. It was like stepping back into a part of yourself you’d left behind, and for the first time in a while, you felt like maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to be back. Or maybe that was the alcohol in your system. You feel like you’re about to crash out soon. 

The party didn’t start winding down until the early hours of the morning, when even Hange began to show signs of exhaustion. You were one of the last to leave, standing on the rooftop as the city stretched out beneath you, barely alive with the hum of nightlife. The reason you didn’t leave yet is because your alcohol tolerance betrayed you. You fear that if you go home alone, you’d pass out on the street and wake up god knows where.

Hange caught up to you once more as you stood, leaning on the tall railings. “Hey,” she said, her tone more serious now, though still light. “Thanks for coming. It means a lot to me, you know? Having you back here.”

You smiled, feeling the sincerity in her words. “I wouldn’t have missed it.”

“Good,” she said, giving you a lopsided grin before pulling you into one last hug. “Now get home and sleep. We’ve got more partying to do at the wedding.” 

“Actually, can you grab me a cab? I don’t think I can book a ride on my phone at my state.” Your words are slurring off with a soft laugh as you talk, trying to pull out your phone out of your pocket only to find it empty. “Oh, other pocket,” you murmured incoherently as you finally had your phone in your hand.

You look up to already see Hange grinning at you, her cheeks flushed with the excitement of the night. “Oh, don’t worry about that,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Already taken care of.”

You furrowed your brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

Hange gave you a look that was somewhere between mischievous and knowing, her eyes twinkling with that signature glint she always got when she knew she was meddling in something. “I called someone to pick you up.” 

Your stomach dropped, and a sense of foreboding crept into your drunken haze. “Who?” you asked, dreading the answer. 

“For fuck’s sake, Hange.” 

For one good second, you sobered up, chills filling your entire body when you heard his voice. You look in his direction, already walking up to the two of you. He’s wearing a black jacket and jeans, his hair a little tousled by the windy air of the rooftop. 

“I thought you’d know better than drinking Hange’s mix,” he directly spoke to you now, arms crossed in disappointment. Him standing in front of you hit you like a splash of cold water. You blinked a few times, as if you don’t believe what you’re seeing in front of you. 

“Levi? You called Levi?” is what you would’ve said if you could even make some words out of your drunken mouth. You let out a long sigh, feeling the weight of the situation settle in your already tipsy mind. The way Levi is seeing you right now—drunk, disoriented, and in this state—is too humiliating, but it was too late to argue. Hange had made her decision without consulting you, and there was no undoing it now, with him already standing in front of you.

Hange laughed, patting you on the back. “Welp, here’s your designated driver. Moblit’s on his way to fetch me so you two go on ahead.”

With that, Hange left the two of you alone by the railings. The two of you stood there in silence. The long-sleeved shirt you wore does nothing for the chilly night, you wrap your arms tightly around yourself as the cold night air sobered you up just enough to feel the awkwardness building. Your heart pounded in your chest as you leaned on the railing, trying to steady yourself.

He approached you closer, his usual unreadable expression giving nothing away. “You good to go, or do I need to carry you to the car?” he asked, his voice dry but not unkind.

You blinked, trying to pull yourself together, but you could still feel the alcohol buzzing in your system. “I can walk,” you muttered, feeling heat rise in your cheeks despite the cool air.

Levi’s lips twitched ever so slightly at your response, a ghost of a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “Sure you can.”

You huff, trying to walk away from him. You swayed slightly on your feet, your mind racing with a mixture of embarrassment and dread as you head to the elevator. Levi followed closely behind you. Whenever you feel like you’re about to lose your stance, you’d feel a slight graze of a hand on your back. He never touches you. But you’re awfully aware of his presence behind you. 

The two of you waited in front of the elevator in silence. You don’t look at Levi. You feel like your face is going to be redder than it already is if you look at his handsome face. And what was he wearing? Did he go somewhere? Why does he look like that? It’s so unfair. He’s so hot. The all black fit always hits you differently, the alcohol is not helping either. 

Just as the elevator doors open, something draped on your shoulders. Levi’s jacket. “Wear it. You look like you’re gonna freeze to death.” 

As the two of you go in, due to actually feeling like you’re going to freeze to death, you don’t complain and wear his jacket. The smell of his cologne fills your nose and you bury yourself in the warmth of it. 

"You look like you’ve had a rough night," he said, his voice flat but with a hint of dry amusement.

You huffed out a breath, leaning your elbows on the railing again. “It wasn’t supposed to end with you showing up.” You paused for a moment. “Thanks for coming… but you didn’t have to. I could’ve called a cab.”

Levi shrugged, glancing over at the view of the city in front of you. “You were drunk, and she called me. Simple as that.”

You sighed, realizing there was no point in arguing with him. “Yeah, I guess.”

He glanced at you, taking in the way you leaned a little too heavily against the wall, the faint pink flush on your cheeks. As the two of you stood there, the awkward silence between you grew. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but there was an underlying tension—one that neither of you wanted to acknowledge.

You made it to the lobby  and then outside of the building, the cool air of the outside world hitting you like a fresh wave of another cold. Levi led the way to his car parked just outside, and you hesitated for a moment, feeling a strange mix of gratitude and reluctance.

When you reached the car, Levi opened the passenger door for you, motioning for you to get in. You do as he says, slipping into the passenger seat.  The ride was quiet, the hum of the engine the only sound between you as he drove through the city streets, which had quieted down in the late hours. You stared out the window, watching the lights of the buildings blur as you passed by. 

Levi finally broke the silence, his voice soft but steady. “Hange said you were having fun tonight.”

You let out a small laugh, still feeling the god-awful drink swirling in your veins. “Yeah, I was… surprisingly”

He glanced at you briefly. “Parties weren't really your thing.”

“Neither are late-night rescues,” you replied, shooting him a half-smile.

Levi’s lips twitched, the closest thing to a smile you’d seen from him all night. “Could’ve fooled me.”

The rest of the ride passed in comfortable silence, the weight of the night settling over you as your eyelids grew heavy. The rhythmic hum of the car and the gentle motion of the drive lulled you into a deeper state of relaxation. The alcohol in your system had finally caught up with you, and despite your best efforts to stay awake, your eyes grew heavier with each passing minute. You leaned your head against the cool window, the blur of city lights fading as your consciousness began to slip.

You barely registered Levi glancing over at you from the driver's seat. His expression, ever unreadable, softened slightly as he noticed your slow, even breathing. He kept driving for a few more minutes, but when he pulled up in front of your apartment building and turned off the engine, you didn’t stir.

—

Levi sat there for a moment, staring at you, your body curled up in the passenger seat, completely oblivious to the world around you. The faint rise and fall of your chest was the only sound in the quiet of the car. He let out a small sigh, looking around the area of your building as he considered his options. There were still some people outside in the streets. The underground never slept, filled with drunktards and no-good doers. 

After a moment of hesitation, Levi made his decision. Getting you inside your apartment, trying to find your keys, and getting you up the steep and unpaved stairs—all of it seemed like too much for someone in your condition. 

Without another word, Levi drove off your apartment and to his own home where you’ll be more comfortable. After he parked his car, Levi got out of the car and came around to your side. He opened the passenger door quietly and leaned down, carefully sliding one arm beneath your legs and the other around your back. You stirred slightly as he lifted you, your head resting against his chest as he effortlessly carried you out of the car. The smell of alcohol fills his nose but it didn’t bother him one bit.  His movements were slow and deliberate, making sure not to wake you as he adjusted your weight in his arms. 

You murmured something incoherent, your head shifting slightly as you nestled closer against him. Levi froze for a second, his gaze flickering down to you, but when you didn’t wake, he continued walking toward his building.

Once inside, Levi carried you up the stairs to his apartment. It was quiet and dark, the only light coming from the street lamps outside. He shifted you gently in his arms to open the door, then stepped inside, closing it behind him with a soft click. He made his way through the familiar space, heading toward his bedroom.

Levi laid you down carefully on his bed, pulling back the covers as he positioned you comfortably on the mattress. You stirred again, this time more aware, your eyes fluttering open briefly as you tried to figure out where you were. Your vision was blurry, your mind still fogged with sleep and alcohol, but you recognized the familiar scent of Levi’s apartment. 

"Levi?" you mumbled, your voice hoarse with sleep.

He was already adjusting the blanket over you, making sure you were covered and comfortable. “Yeah, it’s me,” he said quietly, his voice unusually soft. “Go back to sleep.”

You blinked a few times, trying to make sense of the situation, but exhaustion pulled at you like a weight. Your body relaxed into the bed, the warmth of the blankets lulling you back to the edge of unconsciousness. “This isn’t… my place…” you muttered, but even as you said it, your eyes were closing again.

“I know,” Levi replied, stepping back slightly as he watched you. “You fell asleep in the car.”

You didn’t have the energy to argue. Instead, you let out a soft sigh, sinking deeper into the mattress. “Yeah…” you mumbled, your voice barely audible as sleep finally overtook you.

As Levi carefully tucked the blanket around you, making sure you were comfortable, he turned to leave the room. But just as he was about to pull away, he felt a gentle tug on his arm.

In your half-conscious state, your fingers had wrapped around his wrist, holding him in place. He froze, staring down at you, his heartbeat quickening unexpectedly. Your eyes were still closed, your breathing slow and steady, but your grip was firm—gentle, yet desperate, as though some part of you, even in sleep, didn’t want him to leave.

“Stay… please…” you whispered, your voice barely audible but enough to make Levi’s breath catch.

He wasn’t sure if you were dreaming or fully aware of what you were saying, but the soft plea reached him. You shifted slightly, your hand sliding up his arm as you pulled him closer, nestling into the blankets. “hold me…” you murmured, the vulnerability in your voice tugging at something deep inside him.

Levi’s body went rigid, his mind torn between his instinct to distance himself and the raw emotion in your voice. He had never been good with moments like this—moments that demanded more than what he was used to offering. But the way you clung to him, even unconsciously, made it difficult to simply pull away. It reminded him of old, easier times. 

With a quiet sigh, Levi gave in. He gently sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb you too much. His movements were slow, uncertain, but deliberate. He stretched out beside you, keeping a small distance at first, though your hand never let go of him.

As you sensed his presence closer, you relaxed, instinctively shifting so that your head rested lightly against his chest. The tension in your body melted as you let out a soft, contented sigh, your hand still gripping his shirt as if afraid he might disappear.

Levi lay there, still and silent, staring up at the ceiling, his heart beating faster than usual. He didn’t know what to do with his free arm, but eventually, he let it settle around your shoulder, holding you with a gentleness that surprised even him. The scent of your hair and the warmth of your body against his was oddly calming, despite the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in his mind.

The room was quiet, save for your slow, steady breathing. Levi glanced down at you, watching the peaceful expression on your face, the way your brow had unfurled and your lips parted slightly in sleep. You looked vulnerable, and yet completely at ease.

For a brief moment, Levi allowed himself to relax, too. He wasn’t sure what this meant—this sudden closeness but as you snuggled into him, your body warm against his, he let himself be present in the moment.

Just for tonight, he told himself. Just for now.

As the minutes passed, Levi found himself unable to tear his gaze away from you. Your face was serene in sleep, the tension from the day and the alcohol completely dissolved. He hadn't seen you like this in a long time—peaceful, unguarded. There was something deeply comforting in watching you like this, something that stirred memories he had long buried. Only now was he able to stare at your face without fearing he’d crumble in front of you. The darkness under your eyes tells everyone that you’re tired but the years have painted a maturity in your face that didn’t take away your beauty. 

His eyes traced the familiar lines of your features—the way your lashes rested softly on your cheeks, the subtle rise and fall of your chest as you breathed. The room was quiet, save for the faint sound of your breathing, and Levi’s thoughts seemed to drift along with it. He wasn’t one to dwell on the past, but here, beside you, he couldn’t help but think of everything that had happened between you two—what you had been, what you could have been.

He wasn’t sure when it happened, but a deep, unspoken longing began to rise in his chest, a feeling he had been trying to ignore ever since the night he had shown up outside your apartment without a reason. The closeness of you, the way you had unconsciously reached for him, pulled at something deep inside him.

His gaze softened, lingering on your parted lips, the way your hair spilled across the pillow, framing your face. Slowly, as if drawn by some invisible force, he found himself leaning in closer. His heart began to pound louder, an unfamiliar rush of emotions building within him, making his movements feel almost inevitable.

He told himself to stop, to pull back before he crossed a line. But as his face hovered just inches above yours, he was overwhelmed by the quiet intimacy of the moment. The warmth of your breath brushed against his skin, and his pulse quickened. You were so close, and for a brief moment, he allowed himself to imagine what it would feel like—to close that final distance, to press his lips against yours once again. 

He hesitated, his breath hitching as his eyes traced your sleeping face. You looked so peaceful, so trusting, curled up against him. And yet, in that moment, the weight of what was unsaid between you—the unresolved tension, the memories, the regrets—hung in the air. 

Levi’s hand, which had been resting lightly on your shoulder, twitched as he fought the urge to touch you, to run his fingers through your hair, to let his guard down completely. But just as he was about to give in to the moment, he stopped himself.

A faint sigh escaped him as he pulled back, his forehead creasing with conflict. He couldn’t do it—not like this. Not while you were asleep and unaware. It wouldn’t be fair to you, and he knew better than to act on fleeting impulses, no matter how strong they felt in the moment.

With a deep breath, Levi settled back onto the pillow, keeping his arm around you but maintaining the distance between your faces. He stared up at the ceiling, his mind racing, the weight of the unspoken emotions pressing heavily on his chest.

As you shifted slightly in your sleep, your hand still clutching his shirt, Levi closed his eyes, trying to push away the longing that had nearly overtaken him.

But the truth lingered, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it: after all these years, he had never really let you go. 

He ran a hand through his hair, a mix of concern and something else flickering in his eyes before he carefully stood up from the bed, turned and quietly walked into his bathroom. He got two things, a cleanser and some cotton. 

He walked back to the bed, seeing you sleeping soundly. Gently, he sat down beside you and began to wipe the makeup off your face. He’s careful not to wake you, not applying too much pressure. He’s seen you do this back in college, telling him that makeup should always be removed before bed. If he could change your clothes he would as well. But you looked comfortable enough in his jacket. 

Levi walked back into the living room when he was done, his mind oddly restless despite the quiet of the apartment. He sat down on the couch, staring out the window at the city lights outside, knowing that tonight had been different. He didn’t know why he had brought you here instead of waking you up or why he had come to fetch you in the first place. He didn’t know why he didn’t refuse Hange’s call knowing that you were together. He didn’t know why he even dressed up and ran to your side without question. There were a lot of things he didn’t know and didn’t understand. Most of all, he doesn’t understand how you still have a hold of him like this all over the years you were gone. And to be honest, it angered him but mostly, it scared him. 

But as the minutes passed and the apartment remained still, he figured maybe it didn’t matter. And whatever questions you have, he'll figure it out tomorrow. For now, you were safe. And that was enough.

© levisolace. please do not copy, translate, claim any of my works. my works are cross-posted only on my ao3 account. thank you.

[studentbyday]

week 1. a stuttering start.

i can't believe autumn is already approaching. i feel like i haven't done much to truly live on my own terms this year... (the majority of my time was spent either chained to my desk, living the studying hermit life as usual, or...and this is a new one for this era of my life, feeling like a child following the real adults around on my travels which @zzzzzestforlife documents way better tbh. the travels, that is...)

in addition i've been feeling very unmotivated and numb this school year. even more so than usual. i've never been as zesty as...well, Zesty when it comes to new school years, but it has slowly been getting worse since i started uni and i think i'm getting dangerously close to falling off some cliff i'll later realize was an important cliff to not fall off of. do you get what i mean? i'm only speaking vaguely because i myself do not quite know.

i oscillate between wanting to be extraordinary and extra ordinary. i have fallen back into bad habits, which do not set a good precedent. and overall i feel lost. so so lost that i started reading designing your life. and dulled by the isolation of school i can hardly focus. it's not a new problem, i've just finally been able to put words to it after all these years. engaging and/or cathartic verbal conversation brings me back to life, whether i'm listening or speaking, but i don't get enough of that in my daily life...this is just a very weird mundane state to be in. don't get me wrong, i was relieved to get back to this life with a very predictable pattern after the hectic-ness of travel, but something about it always felt off and i almost can't believe that only now i've realized why.

anyway, feelings pass. and i have overcome the jet lag, so i am that much more energized (and perhaps a little more desperate) to bulldoze through this problem.

Study:

Read/skimmed all the syllabi for anything new (much of it is the same year-to-year as they're all courses in the same faculty and i am resigned to the fact that there will be weighty group work in at least one course out of every year)

Caught up on course announcements

Finished microbiology module for this week (hmmm i read like half of this module last year when i attempted and then dropped this course so it wasn't the most interesting the second time around but i think it'll get better as i get to the new stuff and the nitty-gritty details 🔬 mwahahaha 🦠 i also decided last minute to make flashcards for these and had to transfer my notes to anki. i wish there weren't so many isolated facts or similar but distinct processes i need to remember.)

Made flashcards for half of this week's immunology content (seems to be a memorization-heavy course and i think i really need the active recall since i barely remember the pre-req info 😅 luckily they review it in the module... 🤭)

Reviewed some of the flashcards made this week

Worked on (but didn't finish) global health slides for this week (i'm...not entirely sure what i should be taking notes on or how because...this all seems either very common sense or kind of..."woo-woo" based on my way of understanding the world...but ig that's my own biases talking? i hope they'll just test us on the common sense stuff. that will be easier for my brain 🥴)

Around half of pathology slides are left from this week (probably the most work intensive course i'm taking rn based on the timeline 😵 but also it's shaping up to be my favorite subject this semester because the modules are so well designed AND it's large processes or, even if it's smaller concepts, they're all connected to each other so i don't need flashcards!...i think! i can just pull on the thread of memory and it all unspools (...ideally...)!)

Wrote down due dates for all assessments this semester

Other life things: (yeah idk what to call this section)

I became a 6AM girlie!!! 🥰🥰🥰

Unpacked

Washed my water bottle

Caught up with a friend 💗

Health:

Yoga x2

Journalled x2

Early morning walk in nature x1 (the air smelled so so fresh i was so glad i went out...and even gladder that i went out when i did because after that the air quality got super bad from wildfire smoke 🥺)

Pilates x1 (i made it! in 2 split sessions, but still! and i feel great!!! 😃 i'm so glad i found this channel because she explains the moves in a way that i can get it even with my bad coordination 😅 she also goes slowly and there is no annoying workout music so i can completely focus on the movements and how they feel, it's perfect. 😊)

Music in My Head:

Blue Danube Waltz (OG piano version)

Treat People With Kindness

On the Sunny Side of the Street

Hikaru Nara (the perfect song for my current ambivalent mood because the whole theme of the anime, which is reflected in the sound of this arrangement, is the need to reignite your spark for the things that mean something to you and make the absolute most of it because life is short)

a few dark academia playlists that i put on loop to study to (links under the cut) (somehow the ones with new age music are the only ones i can listen to...light/quiet enough that it doesn't interrupt my thoughts but intense and melodic enough that it puts me in the mood to focus 😅)

[literaticat]

 If your book earns out (eventually)that's good for the author and publisher, right? Why is there a big stress on preorders, first week sales and what a book does right out of the gate? Shouldn't publishers wait a year before they make a final determination to a books success? Especially with things like TikTok that can help bolster sales out of nowhere. It seems like there's so much pressure on authors for success straight away. Do publishers just want their investment back ASAP?

I don't know how you got your question to be in bold? ANYway, since there are like 30 questions in here I'm just going to take them bird by bird.

If your book earns out (eventually) that's good for the author and publisher, right? Yes, of course.

Why is there a big stress on preorders, first week sales and what a book does right out of the gate? Well, for several reasons:

-- A book with a ton of pre-orders feels "exciting" -- if you owned a bookstore, and you had ordered two copies of GREATBOOK initially to come in -- but then 30 people pre-ordered it from you -- you'd probably strongly consider ordering EXTRA copies, right? That seems like an indication that people really are interested in this book, you should have a pile of them, not just two! You should put it on display!

-- A book with a ton of pre-orders and first-week sales has a much better chance to hit a bestseller list (specifically, the NYT bestseller list). Why? Let's say your author started asking people to pre-order six months ago and those orders have been stacking up in dribs and drabs. But that book doesn't go on sale until January 15th. ALL SIX MONTHS of pre-orders are going to get rung up on release day. The NYT is based on books sold during one week's time compared to all other books sold during that one week. Obviously, a book with a ton of pre-orders will get a big boost that week!

-- Books that hit the list get more visibility, they get people hooting about them on social media, they get to be called "NYT Bestselling" which seems fancy, ALL of that can very much help sales going forward. Is it the be-all-end-all? No, of course not. But there's no doubt that it's NICE!

-- The majority of publisher-led publicity and marketing efforts are focused on before or soon after release date -- getting gatekeepers like booksellers, librarians, etc whatever interested in ordering the book into their stores and libraries, getting reviews, pitching the book to media outlets, etc -- so IF those efforts are going to help a book, you're more likely to get that boost when the book is new. After several months have gone by, a thousand newer books have come out, focus has shifted to those books.

Shouldn't publishers wait a year before they make a final determination to a books success?

I mean - I think they do? These things are not mutually exclusive. Of course they'd like to have a lot of success right out of the gate. Obviously, they'd be delighted to have a lot of success later, as well. Plenty of books grow in sales as time goes on, etc -- I don't think anyone is deeming a book a failure if the book doesn't hit it out of the park immediately. I can't speak for adult books, but on the kid's side, we don't really know what kind of longevity a book might have for probably at least a year, because there needs to be time for books to make their way onto state lists, into curriculum, and stuff like that -- for teachers to read it to classrooms, for kids to get hooked and tell friends, etc etc. Once a book is out in paperback and really getting imbedded into schools, we might see BONKERS sales that could never have been predicted from a sluggish start in bookstores a year or two earlier. Publishers are well aware of this -- books are not going out of print in the first year after release.

Especially with things like TikTok that can help bolster sales out of nowhere. It seems like there's so much pressure on authors for success straight away.

Yep, there are plenty of examples of books that have surprising late-in-life success bc of TikTok (or whatever) -- HOWEVER, the difference is, the publisher and author have little to no control over a book suddenly going viral "outta nowhere"! IT'S AMAZING AND GREAT when that happens, we can all wish for it and hope for it -- but it feels kind of out of our hands -- whereas things like pre-orders, getting blurbs, yadda yadda, are at least things that the publisher and author have a MODICUM of control over. They can't MAKE people pre-order, but they can TRY at least!

Do publishers just want their investment back ASAP?

That would be great, sure. But profit margins are slim, and many books never earn out. Publishers know that they are probably going to just break even on a lot of books, and lose money on some, and have big hits with a few. I don't think anyone is expecting every book to have massive pre-orders or huge initial sales or whatever else.

Further: Most of this "pressure" is coming from the authors themselves. Like, the call is coming from inside the house. I've NEVER heard a publisher insist that an author do some enormous pre-order campaign or hit social media relentlessly for months -- actually it's more likely that a publisher in the year of our lord 2024 will say that they don't really think a massive pre-order campaign is worth the effort. I've NEVER heard a publisher say that anything in particular rides on first week sales, or insist that a book must hit a bestseller list. Of course they are hoping for it, it would be great! But it would be foolish for them to say that it WILL or MUST happen, and if it doesn't, it doesn't diminish the author or their efforts in any way. Obviously when award-time comes, publishers AND authors are likely crossing their fingers that a book will get a big shiny medal, and they might be a little disappointed if their book doesn't get one (especially if armchair experts online were predicting that it might) -- but I've NEVER heard a publisher put pressure on an author about that kind of thing, either, if anything, the opposite.

Publishers are, in fact, much more likely to be trying to temper outsize author expectations, rather than stoking them. There might be a few outliers -- huge-name authors where everyone really does expect instant NYT success and glory, so if it doesn't happen for some reason, there's some disappointment all around - but truly? That level of expectation is quite rare, and if you happen to be in that echelon, you probably aren't asking questions like this on Tumblr, you're busy swanning around the Isle of Capri or something. And actually you probably don't feel PRESSURE to hit the list in that case anyway -- you just expect you will as that is normal for you. Bless.

Regular authors? Which is 99% of the authors reading this post? You can go ahead and calm down. We love you regardless of your pre-orders or initial sales. If you feel "enormous pressure" for "instant success" -- really take a look at where that pressure is coming from. Because it's probably not from agents or publishers, who know from long experience that almost no success is "instant" by any stretch of the imagination.

[burrowbarbie]

warning: drinking, language, smut smut smut (didn't know y'all got it like that), MDNI!!!

“Oh my god, Hazel! I just finished my last class,” you yelled as you entered your dorm. The weight of school temporarily lifted off your shoulders, pushing away the lingering fear of finals. Hazel threw her hands up to congratulate you when you noticed someone sitting at your desk in the corner of your eye. Your head whipped over to see Ja'Marr waving at you. You placed your bag down and walked over to hug him.

“Hey! What are you doing here,” you greeted, a bit confused.

"We were just scheming,” Hazel said with a mischievous smile.

“As you know, this Saturday will be the SEC championship game against Georgia, which we’ll win. More importantly, Joe’s birthday is next week and we were thinking of doing one big party Saturday night. We’ve already rented out a club and now we’re just figuring out the details,” Ja'Marr explained.

“Aren’t you guys going to be tired,” you asked, worrying about the late game.

“We’ll just tough it out. We can sleep on the plane anyway, our flight is supposed to land at 10 and it won’t take long to drive back to campus, so we’ll probably get to the club around 11:30,” Ja'Marr said.

“What did you guys get him for his birthday,” you asked, stressed that you hadn’t purchased anything for Joe yet.

“I’m not sure what everyone else is getting, but I know Justin and his girlfriend, Nikki, are getting him something, and Hazel and I decided to go half on an AirBnB for y’all,” Ja'Marr shared, raising his eyebrows.

“And it’s 5 minutes away from the club and it’s not weird. We checked the reviews and you’ll have the whole house to yourself. No chances of you getting murdered,” Hazel said, throwing you a thumbs up.

“Joe might be murdering something, if you know what I mean,” Ja'Marr joked.

You and Hazel shot him a look.

“You know what, that was out of pocket. I apologize,” Ja'Marr said, stifling his laughter.

Your phone started buzzing. You answered it as Hazel and Ja'Marr went back to talking about Saturday. Joe’s voice greeted you from the other line.

“Hi Joe,” you greeted loudly, signaling to Hazel and Ja'Marr to stop talking.

“Hey to you too, what are you doing right now? I’m about to head over to your place,”

“You want to come over, right now?” you asked, repeating the question to see if they needed more time to plan.

Ja'Marr held up his hands, forming a one and a zero, and mouthed the words “minutes’. You nodded.

“Do you think you can come in like twenty minutes?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Um, hey, we can talk about it more tonight, but the guys were thinking about going to a bar on Saturday when we came back from the game. I know it’s not your thing, but I wanted to see if you could come with me. It’ll be a good chance for everyone to meet you officially,” Joe rambled.

“You guys are going to a bar Saturday?”

“Yes, why are you repeating everything I’m saying?” Joe chuckled.

“Just to help me process. I don’t think I’ll make it on Saturday. Hazel invited me to go to her family’s this weekend and we’ll be back Sunday morning.”

“Oh. Well, that’ll be fun,” Joe replied, sounding dejected.

Ja'Marr and Hazel waved their hands, mouthing ‘what the hell’. You waved them off and continued your conversation.

“I’m sorry again, but I’m excited to see you,” you turn quickly, “I’ll make it up to you,” you whispered.

“I’m going to hold you to it, alright I’ll see you later,” Joe teased, hanging up.

You turned back around to find Hazel and Ja'Marr making gagging faces and you rolled your eyes in return.

“He doesn’t know about the club, so I thought it would be fun to surprise him. Now I have to find him a gift,” you groaned, as you sat on your bed.

“If you play your cards right, you probably won’t have to get him anything,” Ja'Marr insinuated.

Hazel scoffed and shot him an ugly look, but after a second she turned to you and nodded in agreement. You sighed and fell back on the bed as Hazel and Ja'Marr continued planning.

————————————————————————————

“Go, go,” Nikki yelled, watching Justin run down the field. You and Hazel looked on in anticipation. You were all watching the game at the Airbnb. The three of you decided to watch the game there and get ready before the party tonight.

As you watched the game, your mind couldn't help but wander back to last week's game with Joe's parents. They made you feel included, discussing plays and making you feel comfortable. A pang of regret hit you as you realized all the games and memories you missed by staying in your dorm.

Hazel shook your shoulders, bringing you back to the present moment. On-screen, you saw Joe evade two Georgia players and throw the ball to Justin. Your heart swelled with pride and admiration as you watched him play.

“There’s your man,” Hazel teased, nudging you.

As you guys continued to watch LSU dominate Georgia, you felt nervous as the night grew closer. Hazel could see your tension and got up to go to the kitchen. She pulled out a bottle of tequila and some small party shot glasses. Dancing her way back to the living room, Nikki laughed and cheered as you giggled. You didn’t enjoy drinking too much, but it was always a good time with her. She poured the shots and the clock was seconds away from ending the fourth quarter, she handed you each a cup. You raised your cups as the game ended and quickly downed your shot. Your face winced as the alcohol burned your throat.

Hazel clapped her hands together, “Alright ladies, let’s get ready.”

She had promised with all certainty that she had found the perfect outfit for tonight, and to trust her. But as she revealed a gold, metallic mini dress with an open back and matching heels, you couldn't help but laugh in disbelief.

“Hazel, it’s like forty degrees outside,” you argued.

“Duh, that’s why I got you this,” she countered, holding up a white faux fur shawl.

“What is that supposed to do?”

“Grandma, we’re going to be outside for like 5 minutes, the club will keep you warm! Joe will keep you warm,” she insisted, exasperated. Nikki laughed behind her and motioned you to sit down so she could do your hair.

You and Hazel continued to argue throughout the process before she shoved the dress in your arms, pushing you into the restroom and closing the door.

“Just try it on,” she yelled annoying.

Arguments between you and Hazel were rare, but when they did happen, they were usually over nothing serious. You took off your clothes and admired the dress hanging in front of you. It was beautiful, but with the weather outside, you couldn't imagine wearing it. As you slipped into the dress, you felt alluring, admiring how it hugged your curves. Curious about how much skin it revealed, you turned to look at your back and let out a gasp before quickly turning back around. This was the most revealing outfit you had ever worn, but you couldn't help feeling confident in it. Just as you heard a knock on the door, Hazel's voice asked for permission to come in.

“I fucking knew it,” she smirked and Nikki followed up behind her.

“You look so good,” Nikki gushed, causing you to blush.

“Let me do your make up,” Hazel commanded, motioning you to sit on top of the toilet.

“I appreciate you doing this for me,” you said, looking up at her gratefully.

“It's no problem at all,” she replied with a cheerful smile, as if your previous disagreement had never happened. Hazel loved how you were, but sometimes she wanted to push you out of your comfort zone. As she finished applying your makeup, she asked about your plans for the evening and informed you of some items she had discreetly slipped into your bag.

“I didn't know if you had packed condoms or if Ja'Marr had put some in Joe's bag, so I added some in the small pocket. I also saw what else you had packed in there,” she winked at you.

Before you could respond, Nikki walked into the room. “Justin just texted me that their flight landed.”

“Perfect timing,” Hazel exclaimed as she completed your makeup. Everyone quickly checked themselves in the mirror before grabbing their shoes and bags to head out.

“You can leave anything you want in the other room. Joe and I can bring it back on Monday,” you offered as they gathered their belongings and left the room with a thank you. You placed your bag on the bed and searched through its contents, finding the condoms and your vibrator in a small pocket. You set them on the bedside table, not sure if you needed them but wanting to have them just in case.

Returning to the living room, Hazel raised a shot glass to you. “It's going to be a great night,” she toasted.

You quickly downed your shot and slipped on your heels as Nikki announced that the Uber was arriving. You wrapped the shawl around your shoulders as you stepped out into the chilly night, giving Hazel a look before she hugged you and laughed.

The Uber dropped you off in front of the club, and you thanked the driver as you got out. Hazel walked ahead to talk to the bouncer, who asked to check your bags and IDs. She explained that the club still allowed those under 21 inside, but they would be marked so they couldn't buy drinks themselves. As you made your way inside, the place was already packed with other students.

“I’m going to get us drinks, stay here,” Nikki informed you, disappearing into the crowd. Hazel stood beside you, casually dancing to the music.

“We reserved the section up there for us and the guys,” she pointed out. You looked up and saw a few people scattered around the slightly empty area.

Nikki came back and handed everyone a drink. She started making her way to the bodyguard who allowed you guys upstairs. The second floor was quieter, with tables and couches spread out for guests. There was even a private bartender serving limited drinks. You took off your shawl and set it down with your purse on one of the couches as Hazel made her way around to greet everyone there. Standing by the railing, you watched people dancing below. Nikki joined you at the rail to watch with you.

Your heart raced as you saw Ja'Marr walk in, throwing a quick signal to the DJ. You heard Hazel laugh behind you as ‘Get the Gat’ started playing. You leaned against the rail and watched as the guys walked in and you saw him. He was dressed casually, in a black bomber jacket and white shirt underneath, jeans, and an LSU cap donned on his head. Smiling, you watched him greet people and dance as he weaved through the crowd. Ja'Marr looked up and saw you, smiling and jokingly pointing at Joe. You immediately turn to Hazel.

“I feel sick, I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Oh my god, you’re fine,” she said, grabbing your arms, “here, finish your drink.”

You took a sip of your drink and turned to see a group of people entering the space. Your heart started racing when you spotted Joe among them. As his eyes scanned the room, they locked with yours. You mouthed a small "hi" and couldn't stop smiling. Joe weaved through the crowd towards you and you noticed a delicate gold chain around his neck.

"What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't make it," he asked in disbelief, pulling you into a hug. Then he pulled back to get a better look at you.

“I just thought it would be nice to surprise you,” you admitted, watching how his eyes scanned over your body. He’s never seen you in anything like this and it made him forget about the party, and even winning the game tonight.

He led you over to one of the couches, briefly introducing you to a few people on the way. As he sat down, he pulled you right next to him and placed a hand on your thigh, gently rubbing it as he continued staring at you in your dress.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered as he squeezed your thigh and pressed his lips against yours hungrily. You were taken aback by his show of physical affection. He pulled away and looked at you with darkened eyes.

"Come on, man, we just got here," Justin joked, handing Joe a beer.

Joe just smiled and took a sip. You gently lifted the chain from around his neck and examined it closely

“When did you get this? It’s nice.”

“It was a gift from Justin and Nikki,” he answered.

“I like it,” you say placing the chain back on his chest. Joe's hand began to slowly trail up your thigh, causing you to give him a warning look that made him laugh. All he could think about was how gorgeous you looked and how badly he wanted everyone to leave so he could have you all to himself. You asked him about the game and listened as he excitedly recounted his best plays.

Hazel walked up, handing you and Joe a shot, “Congratulations,” she shouted. As you took your shots, you felt a warm buzz settle over you.

“I’m going downstairs to dance, did you guys want to come,” Hazel asked. Surprisingly you were eager to dance, but before you could respond, Joe shook his head.

"Have fun,” you called after her.

“I will,” she shot you a wink as Ja'Marr trailed behind her.

You and Joe laughed as you watched them walk away. A few songs passed, as people came to talk with Joe and congratulate him on the game. You guys were talking when you heard ‘Wild Thoughts’ come on.

“Just this one,” you pleaded.

You stood up and pulled Joe downstairs towards the dancefloor, persuading him to join you. The two of you made your way into the group, and you turned to face him. You swayed to the music, impressed by Joe's dancing. As the music pulsed through your body, you turned away from Joe and continued moving, feeling his hands wrap around your hips and pull you closer. With your hands on top of his, you moved together perfectly. Joe was unable to believe how amazing it felt to have you dancing against him like this.

You tilted your head up to meet his gaze and placed your hand on his cheek, pulling him down for a kiss. As the music changed, his hold on your hips tightened.

"Let’s go," you whispered in his ear. Joe glanced at his phone to check the time.

"Yeah, I think we've been here long enough," he agreed, eager to leave with you. "Let's grab your things and say goodbye to everyone real quick."

Together, you climbed the stairs to gather your belongings. Joe said goodbye to Ja'Marr and he mentioned the Airbnb they had arranged for both of you.

"I think it was the dress that did it, but who knows," Hazel teased, referencing your sudden departure. You laughed as you hugged her tightly before turning to hug Nikki.

"Will you let me know when you guys get home?" you asked.

"Of course, now go on, your ride is waiting," Nikki winks, pushing you towards Joe. He immediately took your hand and led you downstairs and out of the club towards his car.

————————————————————————————

"Oh, wow. This place is nice," Joe murmured as he looked around the room.

You locked the door behind you, feeling the lingering effects of alcohol wearing off. Your feet felt rooted to the ground as you watched him take in the surroundings. Joe leaned back against the couch, resting his hands on the backrest, and looked at you, waiting for you to say something.

"We watched the game here," you blurted out. You couldn't seem to shake off the nerves that had taken hold of you.

"Come here," Joe beckoned with a small wave, his voice low and smooth. Suddenly finding your footing again, you walked over to him.

"Why are you so nervous?" he murmured, one hand sliding down to rest on your waist while the other cupped your cheek,"Hmm?"

"I'm not," you whispered, feeling a slight jolt run through your body as his hands roamed down to your hips and then further down to your ass. You bit your lip, unable to tear your gaze away from his lips. All you wanted was to feel them on yours.

"Then kiss me," he smirked, raising an eyebrow in challenge. You leaned in closer, your lips now centimeters away from his.

"Not here," pulling away reluctantly, you took his hand and led him to the bedroom. Joe could feel himself growing harder with each step, anticipation coursing through his veins. He couldn't wait any longer.

You pointed towards the bed as you walked towards the restroom, indicating for Joe to sit down. "Yes ma'am," he responded playfully, watching as you disappeared into the bathroom.

In the restroom, you rummaged through your bag and pulled out a dark purple babydoll set. The sheer fabric left little to the imagination, with delicate lace flowers on the bra and a small bow in the center. The matching thong was simple, with a small bow on the waistband. Hazel had helped you pick it out, deeming it the perfect birthday present. As you slipped out of your dress and into the lingerie, you couldn't help but stare at yourself in the mirror. You could already imagine Joe's reaction when he saw you, his hands roaming over every curve of your body.

Joe had taken off his shoes and shirt, leaving only his pants on. He looked over at the nightstand and noticed a few condoms and a small toy that you had set out. Sitting back on the bed, he waited impatiently for you to come out of the restroom. Feeling a sense of urgency and desire, he lightly palmed himself through his pants.

"You couldn't wait for me," cooing playfully, you walked up to Joe with a sultry smile on your lips. He couldn't find any words as you placed your arms around his shoulders. Running a thumb over one of your nipples, he admired how the lace flowers covered your chest. "Keep this on," his voice was husky with desire as he lifted up the hem of your top and pulled down your panties in one swift motion.

He looked up at you with a mischievous look in his eyes, locking gazes as he ran his fingers over your clit and then slipping them inside you. You moaned as you tangled your fingers in his hair, unable to contain the pleasure rushing through your body. "I can't believe how wet you are. What's gotten you so worked up, baby?" Joe teased, his lips placing soft kisses on your stomach.

"Fuck, wait," you groaned, gripping onto his forearm, "I want to make you feel good first." Joe looked at you with a mixture of surprise and arousal as you got down on your knees. Biting his lip, he couldn't help but imagine how perfect your lips would look around him.

You demanded for him to stand up, your voice filled with a sense of urgency. You quickly unbuckled his belt and pants, eagerly pulling them down along with his underwear. Your hand wrapped around him, tracing the length of his size. Your thumb glided over the head, causing a slight hiss to escape his lips. You couldn't help but lick your lips in anticipation as you pressed your mouth against him, silently preparing yourself. As you took him in, the sound of a low groan escaped Joe's mouth, lost in the pleasure of the feeling of your tongue. You locked your eyes with him as you moved your head up and down his length. You wrapped a hand around the base, pumping him as you sucked. Joe's hands tangled themselves in your hair as he gripped onto it tightly. As he slowly thrust his hips, he whispered for confirmation if this was okay for you. With an eager nod, you resumed your actions, taking him deeper into your mouth and opening your legs wider to massage your throbbing clit.

As Joe increased the pace of his movements, tears threatened to spill from your eyes as he hit the back of your throat.

"Fuuuuck me, you’re doing so good" he groaned, overcome with sensations. Suddenly, he pulled away from you and stared at your teary eyes and spit covered mouth as you smiled up at him.

"I have to fuck you," Joe whispered urgently before pulling you up and throwing you onto the bed. He climbed on top of you and spread your legs open with his knee before reaching over to grab a condom. You informed him that you were already on birth control, but still wanted to respect his choices. You couldn't help but hope he would want to continue without one. He nodded and returned to you, letting you know that he was okay without one.

"Can I be on top?" you asked nervously, unsure if you were ready for him to fill you completely. Joe could only think about how lucky he was as he laid back and watched you straddle him. You guided him towards your aching core, feeling the intense fullness as you slowly slid down onto him. Gasping in pleasure, you took him all in and began to move up and down at a slow pace. Joe's hands squeezed your waist as you both relished in the feeling.

"Does it feel good? Are you okay?" he asked, always concerned about your pleasure and well-being. All you could do was nod, your movements becoming faster as you rocked forward to grind yourself against him. The fluttering in your chest grew more intense, overwhelmed by the pure pleasure and Joe's constant attention to your needs. As the pleasure continued to build, you couldn't help but express it.

"You're such a good boy, Joe," you moaned, increasing the speed. These words only added to Joe's own pleasure, unable to resist begging for more.

"Faster," he pleaded, trying to hold back from bucking his hips into yours too forcefully.

With a sly smirk, you slowed down once again and leaned your chest onto his, teasingly slowing down your movements yet again.

"Do you feel like you deserve it?" you whispered into his ear, sucking on his earlobe.

"Please," he whimpered in response, feeling helpless.

"Why?" you teased further, showering kisses along his jawline before lightly nipping at the skin underneath. His answer came out in a choked voice filled with desperation. "Because...I'm a good boy."

Joe let out a deep groan as he felt you clench around him. His hands focused on your thighs, rubbing them as you sat back up on top of him. He moaned in pleasure as you began to bounce up and down on his cock. He couldn't tear his eyes away from you, mesmerized by the way your body moved above him.

Desperately wanting to explore every inch of you, Joe reached up and pulled down the straps of your top, revealing your breasts for him to see. He couldn't help but feel intoxicated by the sight. Part of him wanted to take control and be on top, but he loved watching you on top of him.

Feeling overwhelmed with desire, Joe pulled you down towards him and wrapped his arms tightly around your torso.

"I need to be on top," he whispered huskily in your ear. Before you knew it, you were lying on your back with Joe hovering over you, his chain dangling close to your face.

You locked eyes with him as his lips found yours once again, his thrusts becoming deeper and more intense. You moaned into his mouth as he bottomed out inside of you, hitting all the right spots and making your body quiver in pleasure.

"It's like you were made for me," Joe whispered between kisses. Feeling a surge of desire, he grabbed one of your legs and threw it over his shoulder, eager to feel even deeper inside of you. He reached for the headboard, hoping to find some stability. Your eyes watched as he disappeared inside of you. They trailed up to drink in the sight of him, his eyes closed and bottom lip tucked into his mouth. You stared at his arm, watching the muscles flex as his grip on the headboard tightened.

As he thrusted into you, he would quickly grind against your clit. You were desperate for constant stimulation, so you reached over to the bedside table and grabbed your vibrator. Nervously, you motioned towards it.

"That's so sexy," he replied, slowing down his pace. You turned on the toy and pressed it against your clit, moaning as waves of pleasure washed over you.

Joe stifled a moan and his breathing became even heavier. He lowered himself onto you, wrapping one arm around your back and clutching your shoulder while using the other to support himself against the bed. The added pressure of his body against yours and his relentless thrusts had a growing ball of pleasure building up in your lower abdomen.

Confessing your thoughts to Joe, you admitted, "You're all I can think about when I do this to myself." Your mind was clouded as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Joe groaned in response, his thrusts becoming even more erratic as he bit down on your shoulder. Your lower body started twitching with anticipation, feeling as if the climax was just within reach.

"I think I'm going to cum," you choked out, feeling the ball release and unravel inside of you. Joe couldn't even respond as he let out a low cry, releasing himself inside of you. Your back arched as you reached your high, the pleasure pulsing through every inch of you. As soon as it became too much to handle, you reached to remove the vibrator.

As you both came down from their highs, Joe's thrusts slowed down until he gently pulled out of you and rolled over onto his back. Breathing heavily, he placed one arm over his eyes while trying to catch his breath. You rolled over next to him, placing small kisses along his chest.

"Just give me a second," Joe laughed breathlessly.

Your hands slowly traced lines up and down his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breath as goosebumps rose in their trail. Joe pulled you closer to him, his heart racing with a mix of emotions. He wanted to express just how amazing and special that moment was for him. How connected he felt to you, more deeply than he had ever felt with anyone else before.

"That was incredible. Thank you," you shared, breaking the silence. Joe's heart felt full at your sentiment.

“I can't even put into words how much that meant to me," he replied, placing a tender kiss on your forehead. Your body melted into his, feeling safe and warm in his arms.

As you listened to the steady rhythm of Joe's heartbeat, you noticed an odd feeling of liquid run down your thigh.

"I think I'm going to shower," you explained shyly, blushing as you pulled away from him.

"Let me help," he teased playfully, trailing behind you with a sly grin on his face.

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