#I will paddle this lonely little canoe with vigor

[tabbyclaw]

Before season four comes along to utterly break our hearts, I wanted to have at least something of this idea posted. Please enjoy the first -- and very rough -- bit of what will eventually be a bit of Hamid/Sasha fluff.

*

Hamid looked around the small crowd that had gathered in the dining room for breakfast and couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable. Everyone here was someone he was happy to be in the company of, of course, but the combination of them was somehow unsettling. His friends seemed out of place in this room where he had grown up, and their presence made the absence of some of the people he'd grown up expecting that he would always see here all the more glaring. There were empty spaces where his parents should have been -- his father gone and his mother in no state to deal with visitors -- and Aziza, and Saleh, and nether Azu's gently looming presence nor Grizzop's bubbling energy could fill them. It was as if parts of his world had collided imperfectly, the pieces colliding and breaking and trying to spin off into a new combination that didn't fit anything that had come before.

He wasn't the only one who seemed to be feeling this tension. His friends -- at least, the two who were present -- were treading as carefully as could be expected in the home of near-strangers who had been recently bereaved, Grizzop clearly trying to keep his usual impatience in check and Azu appearing distraught that there was so little she could do to help. Of Sasha there had been no sign yet, which Hamid didn't think was cause for immediate concern even if her absence seemed to make the rest of the scene even more dissonant. But on his family's side the twins were being the twins, now in these uncertain times even more so than usual, and it seemed to have fallen to Saira to take on the role of both hostess to their guests and babysitter to her two littlest brothers. It was a role Hamid didn't envy, although he doubted there was much else he could do to help.

She did seem to be doing a fairly decent job of it, though, whatever worries she might have. She kept the conversation... well, not exactly flowing, but she was accustomed to making people feel welcome and at ease, and she was doing that for their guests now. She let out a polite laugh at something Grizzop said, and then she turned to Hamid with a questioning look. "And will your other associate be joining us this morning?"

Hamid tried to look as if the question hadn't caught him off guard, nor had the way that his little brothers immediately perked up at it. "Yeah, is Sasha coming down for breakfast?" Ismail asked eagerly, leaning across the table to catch every bit of Hamid's response.

Ishak was right behind him. "Do you think she has any more knife tricks to show us?" He was closer to Hamid, and bent forward to jog his elbow. "It's about time you got some cool friends," he said.

Hamid batted him away impatiently. "Far too cool for you," he shot back, almost a reflex. As much as he'd missed his family, he had to admit that it was far easier to be an older brother at a distance, where he could just stick to his vague, hazy memories of a pair of wild little children who had looked up to him and wanted his company without the actual pestering of their wanting his attention. Saving the world didn't seem like such a chore when the other option was putting up with them.

"'S a good question, though," Grizzop added. "Where is Sasha, anyway?" He glanced around the room as if he half expected to see her lurking in a corner, which was probably not the most improbable thing. "We've got things to do today; has anyone seen her?"

It seemed that all eyes were turning to Hamid at this, for reasons he couldn't fathom, and he couldn't help an absurd desire to shrink from them. It felt a bit weird, the way they all suddenly seemed to think that he was going to be the person who would know where she was. But also a bit pleasant, somewhere in the back of his mind, that other people would draw that connection between them, be aware that he was the person here who'd known her the longest and thus might well know her the best. He couldn't help hoping that that was an accurate thought. "I don't believe she's feeling up to any social interaction at the moment," he said, as tactfully as he could manage. It was a guess at best, but knowing Sasha he felt it was probably the closest one. "She'll probably join us a little later, when she's ready to get on with her day."

There was a knowing silence that passed between the members of LOLOMG, obvious enough that Saira raised an eyebrow. "I do hope she's all right," she said, still in hostess mode and being careful not to pry despite what Hamid knew must be a burning curiosity about this strangest of the strange people he had brought home. "Is there anything she needs, do you think? Obviously we want her to be comfortable here, and if there's anything the household can provide..."

There most definitely wasn't, Hamid could tell her that right off. His mind was still burning with the last time he'd seen Sasha in the early morning, even more pale and ashen than usual, the blood pooling through her shirt. It was why he hadn't pressed her today, only knocking on her door to reassure himself that she was there and alive -- for whatever value of 'alive' she was currently occupying, not that he wanted to dwell on that -- without actually trying to get an answer. He'd told her that they were all going down to breakfast and she was welcome to join them, there was a muffled, mumbling grunt of acknowledgment from the other side of the door, and he'd left it at that. Left her at that, to deal with things in her own way and in her own time, as he generally tried to do no matter how much it worried him not to have a more complete understanding of her current situation. "I don't think she does," Hamid said as lightly as possible, not trying to think about how much help she did need and how powerless he and his friends were to do anything but intercede on her behalf with a higher authority and pray that it saw fit to grant her assistance. "But she knows that help is here for the asking," he added, while also reminding himself in his concern that she was still unlikely to ask for it even if she was confident it would be granted. "Right now, I think the best thing is just to leave her to herself for a bit."

Saira was looking at him curiously, and he suddenly felt as if everyone else was, as well. As if he'd said something weird without realizing it, or maybe all the worry he was trying to hide about her was writ large across his face. Saira could always spot his tells, no matter how cool and collected he tried to be, and it seemed that that particular sisterly superpower hadn't diminished with time and distance between them. "Of course," she finally said, breaking the strange tension that had come over the table before turning her attention to the twins. "And that means the two of you, as well. I expect you to be on your best behavior with all of our guests, no matter how unusual the circumstances around them may be."

Ismail rolled his eyes for the both of them. "All right Mum," he sighed.

"Don't be unkind to your sister," Azu scolded gently, and her calm and clear voice cut through the other conversations with surprising, gentle effectiveness. "You're family, all of you, and all of you have gone through a difficult time of it lately. The last thing you need is to be bickering among yourselves." She inclined her head towards Saira. "Although I beg your pardon for speaking out of turn," she added.

"No, you're absolutely right, thank you," Saira said, looking at her little brothers with amusement. "It's always wise to listen to a paladin," she observed to them, and they seemed to have come to the same conclusion as they both settled down a little further into their chairs. Azu might not carry the same fascination for them that Sasha did, but a woman over twice their size and dressed in glowing pink armor was still enough of a spectacle to make them sit up and take notice. Hamid hid his own smile at that, feeling just a bit smug at having been defended from the minor irritation that had been haunting him, but Saira fixed him with a look just as firm as the one that Azu had aimed at his brothers a moment before. "And that goes for all of us." He sank down just the same as Ishak and Ismail had, feeling about six years old under his older sister's inexorably watchful eye. 

The conversation continued, bobbing off in a different direction with Saira giving them an overview of some of what was going on in the city and surrounding areas, as well as updating Hamid on some bits of local gossip and notable events that had occurred during his long absence -- and dodging revealing more than was necessary about the family's affairs even more deftly than she dodged revealing anything about the more secretive parts of her job -- while on his other side Grizzop and Azu tried to work out what their next move was for the rest of the day and beyond. Meanwhile Ishak and Ismail appeared to have taken at least part of Saira's warnings to heart, although the only part seemed to have been 'not in front of the guests.' They continued to chatter between themselves, but very quietly and in Arabic. The few snatches of conversation that made their way to Hamid's ears sounded like the standard grumbling and slightly rude jokes of any kids stuck bored at the breakfast table while the adults were talking. They were at least making some effort not to interrupt anyone else, and they weren't saying anything directly insulting -- except occasionally about him, and he knew it was because they knew he could hear -- so he figured that there was no real point in scolding them further. Let Saira deal with it if she felt it was necessary, but he didn't think she would. There was also a little amusement to be derived from the way Azu's eyes would occasionally flicker in their direction as a word or two caught her ear, and the questioning looks she would throw at Hamid as she debated whether or not she should interfere again. His brothers had apparently forgotten -- or just never noticed in the first place -- that one of their guests was just as fluent in Arabic as they were. Just don't believe a word they say about me, all right? Hamid thought silently at her, giving a faint smile at how interested she seemed to be in their conversation.

By the time the second course of breakfast was being laid out on the sideboard and Sasha still hadn't made an appearance, Hamid was starting to worry in earnest. Grizzop had begun tapping the table impatiently, one eye fixed on the door as he awaited her appearance, and even Saira was beginning to falter a bit in her pleasantness as she noted their distraction. "She does know we're all down here, right?" Grizzop finally asked, fixing Hamid with a concerned and curious look.

"She should," Hamid assured him. "I mean, I told her. And she..." Well, she hadn't really responded, had she? But she'd acknowledged him, at least, and that was probably the best he could expect at any rate. "She's... having a hard time," he finally said. It was the only answer he could offer.

"We all are," Grizzop returned at that, although he didn't sound completely devoid of sympathy as he said it. "And she's the one who needs to be here so we can figure out exactly what we need to do next to take care of her 'hard time,' right? So there's only so far that we can do her a favor by giving her some space before it turns into way too much space."

"Yes, but--"

"Not really room for a 'but,' is there? If she's not going to come to us, then someone has to go to her." Grizzop began to push himself away from the table, clearly intent on being the one to do so.

"I'll do it," Ishak said quickly, practically vaulting from his chair.

Ismail was right behind him. "No, I will!"

"No," Hamid said quickly. Probably too quickly, judging by the stares in response. Somehow the thought of letting someone else go after her in her current state felt like some kind of betrayal, especially when it was someone as overeager and wild as his brothers. It was bad enough that he'd seen her in the morning, when he was sure she'd rather he hadn't. If she was suffering something similar, or worse, at least it being him at her door again wouldn't be an additional problem on top of that. And besides, if she really was in some kind of trouble, he wanted to be there for her, just on the off chance that he could do something to help. "No, I mean, you're right," he tried again. "She should be here, and I should have made sure she got down all right. If anyone's going to go haring off after her, it should be me."

Did the stares continue as he started to stand up and head for the door? He didn't know, suddenly too stiff and uncomfortable to actually look at anyone, but he could hear little whispers of Arabic curling around him as the twins took in the situation.

"Oooh, he's jealous now, isn't he?"

"Doesn't want to share her with anyone else, I guess. I told you he fancied her."

"Yeah, fine, you were right."

"Oh."

That last was from Azu, listening in again, and it was the sound of the clouds parting and a mystery that has been left unsolved and uncertain suddenly coming into perfect clarity. The unruffled calm with which Hamid had been ignoring his brothers so far, borne of years of similar teasing from his other siblings every time he'd so much as looked at a girl, evaporated in an instant. "What?"

It was a sudden enough outburst to get everyone else's attention, as well. Saira tensed suddenly, startled out of the way she had been carefully ignoring the twins' gossiping, and Grizzop flicked an ear, newly part of a conversation that had been passing him by and clearly interested in where it was going. All of them seemed to be looking at Hamid, who had been the one to make the most noise about it, but it was Azu who flinched. "I know," she said apologetically. "I should have figured that out already. But I'm still piecing together how exactly this group works, and..." A quick look at Grizzop. "You should have mentioned that, when you were filling me in on all of it."

Grizzop's brow furrowed, and then an eyebrow raised as Hamid's stomach sank. The addition of Grizzop to this conversation could only go badly. "Mentioned what, exactly?"

To give whatever shred of credit might be due, the twins did seem to have figured out that something had gone drastically off the rails with what was supposed to just be a little harassment between siblings. "It was a joke," Ishak hurried to clarify, shooting Hamid a sheepish look. "Just having a bit of fun with him."

It wasn't enough; it would never have been enough. Not to stop that relentless goblin curiosity and the drive to keep tabs on all of the people around him. Grizzop cast Ishak only the barest look, and Hamid one that was only slightly longer, before turning back to Azu as the apparent expert on the situation. "Mentioned what?"

In the brief time that he had known Azu, Hamid had already come to two conclusions: That she was deeply, intensely, fundamentally honest, and that she had very little ability to read a room. It was hard to tell, at this moment, which part of that was going to make this worse for him. She did at least spare a look for Hamid, and he tried to convey some subtle signal that would beg her not to get anyone else involved in this without actually turning it into a desperate flail that would attract even more attention. Far too subtle a signal, apparently, as she returned her attention almost immediately to Grizzop. "That Hamid is smitten with Sasha."

She said it so simply, as if she were commenting on the weather or their itinerary. Not gossiping, just letting him in on the topic of a conversation that he had been inadvertently excluded from, a topic with which she assumed he was already familiar. All of which just made it worse. On the balance, the desperate flailing might have been the less embarrassing option.

"Eh?" Grizzop flicked an unimpressed ear at her. "Why would I bother? It's your lot thinks that kind of thing is relevant." His voice was cool, just restrained enough not to actually come across as contemptuous but with an obvious undercurrent of disdain. He gave Hamid a scrutinizing look. "If it's even accurate."

"Yes, thank you," Hamid started to say, surprised and relieved to have this sudden ally. He had already learned from his siblings -- and his 'friends' at University had only reinforced the lesson -- that there was no point in defending oneself from this kind of accusations, and that the only real solution was to ignore the gentle and not-so-gentle gibes until those who were making them got bored with his lack of reaction, but if there was someone else on his side for once it might go a little bit better.

Azu looked as if she hadn't even considered that possibility. "Sorry," she said as she looked back at Hamid, her face apologetic and still so utterly guileless that he couldn't actually be as annoyed with her as he really wanted to be. "I guess I just assumed that the people who'd know best how to recognize it would be the ones who know you best."

"Which doesn't include my little brothers," he returned, slightly mollified by the turn that the conversation appeared to have taken in his favor. He raised a faintly smug eyebrow at the little brothers in question, and there was a synchronized rolling of their eyes. Apparently there was only so much contrition that could be wrung out of them.

But Azu didn't seem to consider the matter dropped. "And it seemed like such an obvious conclusion to come to, once someone else said it," she continued, as if she were questioning her own instincts in a way that was entirely unnecessary. Why she was looking to Hamid for some kind of confirmation of this he couldn't fathom, and when he continued to give her as blank a stare as he could manage -- he was absolutely aware that it was straining at the corners, thank you very much -- she seemed to give up on the idea.

"'Course you'd think so," Grizzop said quietly. It was still without any real true viciousness to it, but Hamid had the feeling that he'd missed something passing between them and that he might not actually want to know what it had been. He was just happy to take advantage of it if it meant the conversation was going to move away from the invasive and frankly bizarre turn it had taken. But as he sank back into his chair, exhaling relief and subtly letting his fists unclench, he was aware of Grizzop taking the same moment to lean forward towards him, cocking his head speculatively. "Could explain some things, mind," he added, almost offhandedly.

So much for having an ally. "Clearly you've all made up your minds already, then," Hamid said. He was aiming for a dismissive tone, trying to sound like he was more bored than anything without losing that edge of annoyance, but he could feel a tightening in his throat as his voice rose in pitch the way it always did when something bothered him. "I don't know why you're even bothering to talk to me about it, when you could have this entire conversation between yourselves and never have to involve me at all!"

And now he'd done it. There was no chance of getting away from the conversation now, not when he'd made it into a spectacle. He could feel the change in the air in the room, and it was worse now than the unbroken tension had been. Azu's face dropped, and she looked at him with new concern, her brow furrowing. "I'm sure none of us meant to upset you, Hamid," she said quickly and gently, laying a massive hand on his shoulder by way of an apology. "It was just..." She trailed off, seeming lost for an end to that sentence. "A mistaken impression," she finally concluded. "One that got out of hand."

Hamid closed his eyes and buried his head in his hands. He had just woken up, but he was already so tired. The previous weeks had contained so much horror and peril, so much loss, so much that was wrong with the world at large and his corner of it specifically. A little bit of familiar hounding from his family and his new friends shouldn't have been enough to unravel his composure yet again, and yet here he was feeling like everything had somehow gotten away from him again. He sighed through the sinking in his stomach as something in him finally gave in. "No, it wasn't."

He could feel the flurry of confusion rippling around the table at his muffled words. Confusion, and a bit of impatience at what must have seemed from the outside like self-pity. "That's not true," Azu said, still gentle, and he could imagine her eyes boring into his brothers and trying to urge them to offer the same reassurance. "It was well-meant, even if we got it wrong."

He could easily have argued that point, at least where Ishak and Ismail were concerned, if that was actually the issue at hand. But this time it wasn't his brothers he had lost all patience with, but himself. "No," he said again. "I mean, it wasn't a mistaken impression."

His face was still covered, his voice muffled as he made his confession, but he knew better than to think that that would actually stop anyone from hearing it. That friendly hand on his shoulder, still patting him awkwardly, suddenly stilled in its motion, and he could feel the rest of the room going equally quiet as this sunk in. Ironic, really, that he had gotten them to stop talking about him by giving them something to talk about. "Oh," Azu repeated after a moment. It was a sound of realization again, but rather than the sudden shock of a puzzle she hadn't known she was solving falling into place, this was a more gentle sort of understanding. "And she doesn't... oh dear." 

Whether she had inferred that Sasha didn't know how he felt or that she just didn't feel the same way, Hamid couldn't guess. Not that it mattered -- the safe bet was that both of those things were true, anyway -- and at the moment he was more focused on the sympathy in Azu's voice and her touch, a reaction that he simultaneously craved and hated. In a better time and place he might have been grateful for her comfort, but not here and now. Not when there was an audience to see him as something pitiable, and when there were so many greater burdens that they had to bear that this one was even smaller and sillier than it would have been normally. He just wanted to let everything go, not even caring anymore what anyone knew or thought they knew after this conversation.

It was Grizzop who broke the silence that had fallen after that remark, cutting in with his own particular brand of sensitivity. "Right, then, so you do fancy her," he said briskly, though not entirely unkindly. He sounded like he was trying to be the reasonable one, injecting a final note of calm into the proceedings before brushing them away, but really it was coming off far more like he had just lost all patience for the subject. Why couldn't he have done so two minutes ago? 

His head still in his hands, Hamid felt himself nodding, both reluctant and resigned. What was there to be gained now from protesting? From lying about one awkward, embarrassing little secret when there were so many others -- and so many worse -- that all of them were still carrying? Why should it matter to anyone else that he was suffering from a few butterflies over someone when the entire world was in danger and everything they touched seemed to be crumbling in its own way? If they were going to make a spectacle of his feelings, then let them do it and get it over with now, while he was somewhere familiar where he knew all the escape routes if such a thing became necessary. And while Sasha herself wasn't present. Gods, he would put up with no end of humiliation from his friends and family if only they'd leave her out of it. "Yes, all right?" he finally forced out. The words were weary, but there was also a growing burn of irritation to them as some of the exhaustion that had led to him getting caught up in a confession started to give way to anger at the people who had caused it, and the incessant hounding that had suddenly added this new complication to his life. "For gods' sakes, Sasha is one of the most amazing people I've ever met. She's brave, she's loyal, she's clever, she's got one of the biggest hearts I've ever known..." He could feel his voice going just a bit softer at that, as he said all the things that he'd wanted to say aloud about her for some time now. "Of course I fancy her. How could I not?"

It was possible that someone would have had something to say in response to that, but whatever it might have been was interrupted by the crashing of a plate being dropped that came from too far away to be anyone at the table. Everyone turned to follow the sound, and even as Hamid's head lifted to do the same he could feel his stomach sinking. Because there really was only one thing that could have made this whole thing worse...

Saira was the first to manage a reaction, her hostess instincts kicking in with a bright smile. "Good morning, Sasha," she said cheerfully, and if Sasha had been standing still before she was utterly frozen now. "Lovely to have you joining us. We didn't see you come in."

Hamid didn't think he'd ever seen Sasha looking so trapped before, standing next to the sideboard and clutching a slice of bread. "Right. That's... kinda supposed to be the point, yeah..." She straightened up slightly, clearing her throat. "Anyway. Just. Came down for a bit of breakfast."

"Of course," Saira said, still utterly unfazed. "Help yourself. And you're welcome to join us, as well, if you'd like."

"'M good, thanks," Sasha said vaguely, giving her half a wave, still crouched as if she was trying to escape all of the prying eyes. And while she wasn't making eye contact with anyone -- not terribly unusual from Sasha in any case -- Hamid couldn't shake the feeling that she was very specifically not making eye contact with him. "Think I just. Need some air."

"Take your time." It was Azu who spoke this time, that gentle hand still resting on Hamid's shoulder and keeping him from bolting from the room. "But do come back as soon as you're ready; there's still quite a bit we need to do today."

"Yeah, sure thing." Still not looking at anyone, Sasha collected a few strips of bacon to go along with the bread she'd already secured, and before anyone could say anything further she was gone, slipping out of the open window that had apparently been her point of entry as well.

In the ensuing silence, all the eyes that had turned towards the window now returned to Hamid, looking hungrier and more eager for a response than ever. Silently, he just pressed his head into his hands again. For the first time in a very long time, he felt that he had quite lost his appetite.

[thecosmiccuttlefish]

‘Till the 20th!

August 13th 2017 12:52pm

    What a day. Oh man, what a major day. I went for a swim, I went for a walk with Azadeh where I saw some cliff divers and managed to meditate some of the anxiety away, I went for a fun slip and slide event with my siblings, and I went to a rap battle in a sketchy part of town a solid 75min or so of car/transit away.

I think it’s cause for a little celebration. It wasn’t perfect. At all; but I’ve made some break throughs.

It’s no use pushing intrusive thoughts away, or pretending they don’t exist, or you don’t need them. The best thing to do is just allow them to be there and leave the gate open for them to leave if they wish. Give them space. When I can manage my anxious/obsessive/impulsive thoughts I’m better at things generally. I procrastinate less on the internet. My inter-personal communication is better. I feel stronger, braver, and more creative. (I think me giving into impulses generally feeds into the strength of me needing to click on videos or google random thoughts and feelings.) I’m restricting less and calling myself out on bullshit more.

Tomorrow I’m leaving for an eating disorder camp. Well, that sentence is a little misleading. It’s not a camp that roasts kale around the camp fire and has HIIT paddling workouts on the canoes believe it or not. It’s a camp for people that have had eating disorders. So, it’ll probably be a camp for people that have suffered with anxiety, depression, add, adhd, obsessions, compulsions, impulses, low-self esteem, perfectionism, self criticism, and mental battles which have no name, classification, or text book written about them yet. There’s no internet or technology there (Yay!) So I won’t be writing here for a while (Boo.) Usually, when I do fun experiences like this so much happens it helps if I make a list of predictions I can check off after the fact which saves me the headache of having to recall every meaningful experience and nuance over seven days. Or at least lessens the obsessive blow.

So here goes:

Margo’s prediction for the ED Camp.

I will do some sort of backflip off of a dock. Obsessively or genuinely.

I will write something original and perform it.

I will write something funny. It may make people laugh.

I form hecka close friendships.

I make more than 3 good friends.

There are mean girls.

This camp is where all the arch-typical eating disorder girls have been hiding out through my entire treatment process. (Blonde, superficial, gossipy, dramatic, unlikely.)

I tell a spooky story.

I make up a spooky story.

I cry. For emotional or physical reasons.

There are some people that are not super recovery oriented.

There is surprisingly little talk of eating disorders.

It’s a little cringy in a it treats us like little kids sort of way.

I’m one of the oldest there.

It’s mostly white people.

It’s kind of a life changing experience, not going to lie.

It seems like a low budget operation.

I love my cabin mates.

The cabins are divided by age.

The showers are surprisingly nice.

The food is significantly better than hospital food, not as good as regular camp food.

The portions are good. Maybe a little on the big side?

There’s a few emotional breakdowns.

There’s an “emergency.”

I don’t feel very lonely.

Some shenanigans go down in the night time.

I develop a gay crush on a leader. Or camper.

It’s very beautiful.

It’s a little too close to civilization.

It inspires me to become a camp counselor.

The lake is small. It’s a small lake.

The sugary, possibly triggering food is kept to a minimum.

Stories about eating disorders are told, but not formally.

Lots of girls already know each other.

I am one of the more outgoing ones at the beginning.

It’s a little too structured.

Makes me wish I went to the treatment facility this is being run by instead of the other one.

The camp leaders are surprisingly funny.

It rains.

There are a surprising, or not so surprising amount of adrenaline junkies.

We vote on a  movie in movie night.

There is a small cohort of campers.

Camp rules are laid down first thing, like food, body talk ect.

There is singing.

You can see the stars.

We have worksheets we fill out.

The campers are chiller than the staff.

The “Mystery Activity” is maybe improvised?

It’s better than that one camping experience I had like, 6 years ago. That was two whole weeks longer.

It brings back memories for some strange reason.

It makes me glad to be moving away from my family eventually and crave independence.

I feel inherently optimistic when I leave.

You can hear wild life at night.

I have a surprisingly few amount of dares (impulses/perseverations)

I FORGOT SOMETHING.

I have a good story, one that I thought I might not get.

It makes me grateful.

So there you have it, 57 predictions. Till the 20th my friends. 再见

11:18am edit.

Bonus predictions

58. There will be a diverse range of body types, from the maybe unhealthy skinny to the maybe unhealthy fat.

59. Some people have trouble eating food.

60. The campers become divided by age.

61. Some people make physical activities such as rock climbing/canoeing questionably vigorous.

62. I have a great time.

Notes from me when I get back. (Hi future me!):