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stellamarielu · 3 days ago

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rusty

jack abbot x female reader

summary: after a dry spell in his sex life, jack would’ve never imagined the next women he’d have naked in his bed would be his favorite first year resident.

content: nsfw, 18+, mdni, resident!reader, touch starved!jack, established relationship, a little bit of fluff smushed in there, but mostly smut, jack being nervous to have sex for the first time in years, but then ofc something in him snaps and he gets a little freaky with it, jack uses the nickname kid for the reader (1) time, also uses the nickname sweetheart, fingering, handjob (if you blink you’ll miss it), p in v sex, dirty talk, condom use and the crowd boos (sorry had to keep it realistic! if i’m having sex with someone for the first time and they’re not wrapping it….questionable)

word count: 4.5k

author’s note: wanted to write something about big tough jack abbot being a little nervy to see you naked but i also wanted to write something about him having an inappropriate relationship with his resident…. so alas this was born. enjoy!

“I haven’t done this in a while.”

The words stumble from Jack’s lips in an exasperated sigh. They nearly get lost between kisses, the confession hidden amidst the steamy exchange as your bodies barrel through his front door.

Reaching up to thread your fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck, your forearms rest on his shoulders to steady yourself as he maneuvers you into his bedroom.

You don’t reply to his admission, just smile into the kiss as your hands trail down his torso finding the hem of his shirt. Your fingertips carefully tracing his skin underneath the material.

He wanted to tell you it had been years since he’d been with a woman like this— wanted to apologize in advance for being a bit rusty, but the light touch of your hands exploring the skin just above the waistband of his jeans, had him losing his previous train of thought.

He couldn’t think about how long it’d been since he’d brought a woman back to his place, couldn’t even think about how insanely wrong it was to be kissing you in his bedroom.

With that being said, he should be proud of himself for holding out this long.

It had been months of having you on his shift.

Week after week of watching you prance around the ER with that cute little smile on your face, following every last one of his orders. Always meeting his sarcastic remarks with witty comments of your own, the two of you working effortlessly together like there was some sort of magnetic field between you that pulled him to every case you worked on.

It was so innocent at first, shared inside jokes and granola bars in the breakroom. Him giving you a hard time for your absurd coffee intake through the night, making comments about how the quad shot of espresso you walked in with was going to send you into cardiac arrest.

But then, there was the time he put his hand on your lower back to squeeze behind you at the triage desk. The second his touch met the polyester of your scrubs, applying just enough pressure to seep through the thin fabric, your head turned in his direction.

You didn’t mean to look at him, but you couldn’t help it. His fingers stayed splayed out on your back for one second too long, and your eyes shot to his, the electric current running through your body impossible to ignore.

A sudden tension emerged in the small space between you, his stare raking down your body to where his hand sat just above your waist, taking his time trailing them back up with a knowing smirk on his lips.

The moment was fleeting but it played out in slow motion before his hand was gone and he was breezing past you into the trauma bay.

After that it became a game of cat and mouse, both of you sensing a pull of desire toward the other but almost too afraid to do anything about it.

For Jack, it was because you were his intern, just a first-year resident looking to him for guidance and education. His apprentice. It felt wrong to look at you in any other way. He wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if he took advantage of the obvious power imbalance at play in the situation.

Not to mention he was off his game.

He had no problem coming across abundantly confident at work, but as far as dating went, Jack hadn’t waded into those waters for years. There was a part of him that gave up on his love life. Maybe that’s why he threw himself into work, to avoid the loneliness that found him in his lack of companionship.

You could sense his apprehension.

The way he would subtly flirt with you and then walk away from the conversation like nothing happened. He was trying to avoid the guilt of getting too familiar, but it left you confused about his intentions.

It wasn’t until one morning that you decided to rip off the band aid entirely, asking him to join you for breakfast after your shift.

It was a simple invitation, one that could’ve been strictly friendly, but the way he smiled when you asked, looking around to see if anyone else heard, told you it was the start of something else entirely.

And it was.

The two of you went to breakfast, talking for hours in a corner booth, over a stack of pancakes and a few slices of bacon.

It was the first time you saw each other outside of the hospital.

Everyone else in that restaurant could recognize the two of you for what you were; happy. Finding joy in each other’s presence through constant laughs and affectionate smiles. But Jack couldn’t see it that way— couldn’t shake the conflicting feelings of guilt.

It wasn’t until you reached over him to dip your bacon in a pool of syrup on his plate that he finally relaxed. He soaked it in, sitting with you like that, because when the nagging thoughts of how inappropriate it all was began to cloud his mind, the gentle touch of your hand brushing his thigh chased them away. Your fingertips curled just above his knee as you continued telling him a story, the hold making him forget why he was even worried about saying yes to your invitation in the first place.

That was the first time he crossed a boundary with you. Allowing himself to get lost in your voice, hidden away in some diner down the street from the hospital. But it didn’t stop there.

The next time was when he walked you home after work, only three days after your shared breakfast date.

He knew he shouldn’t have done it, but you parted ways outside the sliding hospital doors and he watched as you walked down the street, all by yourself.

For a split second he could imagine what his frame would look like walking next to you, and so he followed, catching up to your stride with satisfaction running through his veins at your surprised smile to see him standing at your shoulder. You lived in an apartment building a block away, he knew because you mentioned it one time, and even though his leg was killing him after such a brutal shift, he walked next to you all the way to the front door of your complex.

Your bodies lingered on the sidewalk, palpable tension bouncing between them through prolonged goodbyes.

That was the first time your gaze fell to his lips.

The curiously hopeful look in your eyes made his mouth go completely dry, because Surely you weren’t going to kiss him in broad daylight… right? The world spun around him while your eyes stayed fixed on the straight line of his mouth, until they fluttered back up, meeting his line of sight and smiling brightly.

“Goodnight Jack.” Your hand met his bicep, squeezing lightly as you turned to walk into the building with a small wave.

Goodnight, even though it was nearly eight in the morning.

It was something you said to everyone after each shift, bidding your coworkers a good stretch of sleep, knowing you all shared a fucked-up sleep schedule due to working the night shift.

Jack found the greeting endearing. Smiling wide every time he heard the sing-song chime of your voice wishing everyone a restful day before leaving work in the morning.

His days were hardly restful though, he never got much sleep when he went home, because you were always on his mind.

After that day in front of your apartment building, he went out of his way to walk you home nearly every morning, if only for a few extra minutes of hearing your voice, and a small hope that you would look at his lips like that again.

When you finally did kiss him, it was well worth the wait.

It happened on the roof.

An especially hard night landed you outside for some fresh air, overlooking the city as you tried your best to clear your mind.

Jack came up to check on you.

Avoiding him entirely, your apathetic stare stayed plastered on the lights of the city. He stood next to you in silence for a while before placing a gentle hand of reassurance on your cheek, bringing your gaze to his and searching your eyes to make sure you were okay.

It was emotionally charged, the way you crashed your lips into his.

He held your face delicately in his hands, using his jaw to dive into the kiss, hungry and sloppy and undeniably passionate.

More than anything he wanted to explore every inch of you— to let his hands travel your entire body, but instead his palms stayed strictly on your face, careful not to push things too far.

In fact, weeks of suppression followed while Jack tried to respect the unknown undercurrents of your relationship.

A few more kisses were shared, even some heated make out sessions and heavy petting in the on-call room at work, but nothing more.

He’d be lying if he said his trepidation wasn’t slightly due to the rather lengthy sexual hiatus taking place in his life. But he could only deny his urges for so long, and this morning after breakfast, instead of walking you back to your apartment, he invited you over to his place for the first time.

An unspoken agreement hung in the air the whole way home, one laced with heavy sexual tension.

That’s what landed you here— barely two feet past the threshold of his bedroom door with your hands dangerously close to the waistband of his pants, and Jack couldn’t dare to think straight.

The only thoughts he could muster revolved around how much he fucking liked you. This other worldly figure standing before him, toying with the ties on his pants, fingertips brushing his abdomen and fuck- he was on another planet. Your touch was sending a vaguely familiar heat rushing through his body and he wanted more— needed it.

Something about the situation sent him on a power trip. His cock pushing against the lose restraint of his scrubs at the sudden realization that he finally had you right where he wanted you after all this time. Months of getting to know each other and countless dates ending in polite kisses and lingering goodbyes— all of it leading to this moment with his fingertips curling into your waist.

But there was still a little sliver of him that felt nervous, slightly unsure of venturing into unknown territory with you.

He was still trying to convince himself that you were genuinely interested in him, because when he looked at you he saw this beautiful woman, all radiant and self-assured, on the arm of some guy nearly twice her age who rarely smiled and always had a grumpy wise-ass remark on his tongue.

His hands went rigid at the thought, the doubts taking him out of the moment for a few seconds, and you could sense the uneasiness in his touch.

Pulling away from the kiss, you watched his expression, his lips parted to make way for fast shallow breaths as he stared back at you, his eyes hooded with desire but swimming with hesitation.

“We don’t have to do anything Jack.” Your words were sincere as you continued looking for any sign of regret in the hazel of his eyes.

“No, I want this.” His brows furrowed as the winded confession fell from his lips. His hands grasped at your hips, holding firm while his thumbs rubbed into your sides.

“You sure?” Voice changing slightly, you moved into a more playful state, fingers coming to the tie on his pants as you kept your eyes trained on his face.

“We could just talk.”

A playful whisper slid between your lips as you undid the drawstring between your fingertips.

“Or maybe watch a movie.”

Then, your hand slid into the waistband of his underwear, only a few inches, just enough to make his breath hitch.

He tried to cover his surprise at your touch, now dangerously close to the base of his cock. Mustering enough self-control to speak, his words come out calm and collected despite the dizzying effect of your hand down his pants.

“You’re funny, kid. You know that?”

Kid.

A nickname he'd been calling you since the day you were assigned to his shift.

You were just an intern; young, hungry, and passionate. Had he known you’d end up with your hands halfway down his pants in the middle of his bedroom, he might've opted for a different title of endearment.

“Seriously Jack, we can take things slow-“

A low chuckle interrupts your attempt to comfort him, trying to give him a chance to back out.

He guides you back to sit on the edge of his bed, smirking and shaking his head from side to side.

“Stop talking.” The words are rushed. A deep rasp from his lips as he leans in to kiss you, pushing your body until your back meets his mattress.

“I don’t think you realize how long I’ve thought about this.” It was apparent that Jack was hungry— starving even— to see more of you. His hands working quickly to get your pants down your legs and onto his bedroom floor.

“And what do you think about Jack?” He’d never heard that tone in your voice before, low and sultry while you leaned up on your elbows to look at him through your lashes.

“Jesus- I’ve thought about having you on my bed like this,” There was nothing subtle about the way his eyes scraped over your as he paused between words. Eyes drifting to your lower half, legs parted slightly, a pair of black panties acting as the only barrier between his eyes and your naked body. “all spread out for me like this.”

At his words, your legs open further, sending a muffled growl straight to Jack’s closed mouth as he lets his hand fall on your inner thigh. Trailing upwards, his fingertips come in contact with the hem of your underwear.

“Can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about pulling you into the on-call room after our shift.” He’s leaning above you, eyes glued to your clothed core, fingers toying with the thin material of your panties at the inside of your thighs.

“How badly I’ve wanted to fuck you on one of those shitty beds, or maybe even against the wall…”

“But you deserve better. To be treated right, on a real bed.” Suddenly the smooth linen of his comforter feels much warmer beneath you, your hands splaying over the pillowy fabric at your palms.

Jack watches the way your shoulders relax, and your head falls an inch to the side at his words, your body melting into the moment of shared desire.

“Want to take my time with you. Make you feel good. Watch you fall apart.” He leans in to kiss you, right as one of his fingertip’s dip below the fabric of your panties to run along your slit. You gasp into the kiss, and he takes the opportunity to pull away.

“To hear the little noises you make for me.” His lips are only inches from yours as his breathless whisper fills the space between them. His hand fully pushes your panties to the side, his touch light as a feather, and lingering at your core.

“Bet you sound so pretty when you cum.”

Your mouth falls open and you’re not sure what triggered it, his words, or the way he pushes a single finger into you. The movement is slow and precise as he watches your eyes flutter in pleasure.

For someone who’s sex life was currently non-existent, Jack didn’t miss a beat when it came to the rhythm of your gratification. The moan dripping from your tongue coming right on cue as he slips another finger in with the first, stroking with purpose and dedication as his name comes floating from your lips.

“Jack.”

The word was foggy and desperate as his touch subdued you, his fingers curling at the sweet call of his name, hooking at just the right spot.

“Fuck that’s it.” A whine of pleasure rippled through you at the pressure of his fingers against your walls. With one stroke after another, the building tension in your abdomen threatened to overflow.

Jack’s stare falls on his fingers as they work you open.

He can hardly handle how responsive you are to his touch; your hips bucking into his palm, little pleas falling from your lips— It’s enough to make him cum right there in his damn pants.

“God- you sound gorgeous.” The compliment is almost primal, his voice nearing a growl as he looks down at your body writhing on the simple motion of his fingers inside you, a slave to his touch.

He lets himself get lost in the noises flowing from your mouth, allowing each moan to act as a signal, showing him exactly where and how you want him.

“Even better than I could’ve imagined.” He finishes his thought and brings his stare back to yours, the fucked-out expression in your eyes telling him just how close you are.

His words send you reeling, acting as a catalyst for the strain pulling in your abdomen.

He can feel your body preparing to tumble over the edge, walls clenching around his fingers, and thighs flexing.

“There you go sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. That’s new.

It surprises you both the second it leaves his lips. But the surprise of it barely registers, instead the word is unleashing a flutter in your chest and a warmth between your legs. You’re obsessed with the way it sounds in the rasp of Jack’s voice. In fact, you like it so much your body trembles and whimpers fill the air as you come undone on his fingers.

His eyes watch as his movements slow, digits coated in your slick and pushing into you continuously even after your body finishes shuddering.

It’s almost sadistic the small smirk he’s wearing as his eyes stay fixated on his fingers sliding in and out of your body.

He was starved. Starved of touch— the warmth of another’s body. The way you pulled him in with each thrust of his fingers made him want to stay there all night, making you cum over and over again to feed his craving of your body at his mercy.

If it weren’t for your delicate hands gripping at his forearm, forcing him back to reality, he would’ve kept going, would’ve seen just how much more you could take.

“Jack.” Your voice breaks him from his trance, hand wrapping around his arm and pulling him back to hover parallel over your body.

An unsolicited grunt erupts from deep in his throat as your hands, once again, slide into his underwear. Only this time, they fall far enough to envelop his cock in your soft touch.

His hand comes down forcefully next to your head, palm flat against the mattress to hold himself steady as pleasure washes over him.

You’ve only pumped over his length once and he’s already squeezing his eyes shut in focus, trying not to spill into your hand.

“Sweetheart.”

In retrospect, he probably shouldn’t have used that nickname again. Not right now, when he was seconds away from having an embarrassingly quick orgasm.

Your grip tightened slightly at the word, hand working a little faster, and paying extra close attention to his overly sensitive tip. He has to put a hand over yours to conceal your efforts.

“I’m not gonna last long if you keep that up.” His brows raise at your smug expression, your hand still stroking him despite his attempt to stop you.

“I’m serious.” A breathless snarl meets your ear as his head falls lower, nearly resting in the crook of your neck.

You hum in response, one hand continuing its work between his legs, the other pushing at the pants still around his hips.

He was quick to oblige your unspoken request, bringing his own hand down to rid himself of his pants and underwear. His hands are then at your hips yanking your panties down your legs.

In a heated frenzy both of you took a few seconds to take off any remaining clothes. Sitting up to swiftly pull off shirts, and while you’re reaching to take off your bra, Jack stretches to his bedside table, fishing out a condom from its box that’s been sitting untouched in his drawer for far too long.

Then, you’re back to square one, his body hovering over yours, and his lips kissing down your neck.

Your hand finds him again, palm encircling his member as he freezes under your touch.

“You sure you wanna do this?” His voice is lost in the skin of your chest, his lips melting against your collarbone.

“You’re asking me? I thought you were the one who needed convincing.” The giggle in your voice has Jack nipping playfully at your skin, his hand confidently fitting between your legs.

“What can I say, you’ve persuaded me.” A teasing tone slips through his lust clouded whisper, fingers collecting the slick at your core with a groan on his tongue.

You grab the condom out of his hand, tearing it open and rolling it onto him with ease, the feeling causing him to lean further into your touch.

This was one of the reasons Jack was so drawn to you.

You held such discreet authority. Always taking charge with a charming smile and a sweet command in your voice.

He couldn’t have imagined the same power he witnessed at work would roll over into the bedroom. Your captivating ability to take quiet control was suddenly so obvious in the way you were guiding his now protected length to line up with your entrance, body shimmying down the bed to coerce him into you.

When the head of his cock finally pushes into you, you both let out noises of relief.

The placated gasp from your lips, and the profound groan on his, proves that you’d both been longing for this exact moment for weeks.

He takes his time. Learning the hug of your body. Savoring every inch of pure bliss, as he fills you at a painstaking pace. Your hands shoot to his back, fingertips digging into the broad expanse of his shoulder blades, just enough to encourage his movement until he enters you completely, pushed in to the hilt.

His eyes stay on yours, watching the way your lids almost close while you adjust to him, your mouth parted slightly at the stretch.

Then he’s pulling out and thrusting back in, moaning at the way you feel wrapped around him.

Your head tilts back into his comforter at the sweet friction of his strokes, and the sight beneath him has another moan bubbling up Jack’s throat.

It was exactly how he’d dreamt this moment— your back on his bed, with your head thrown back in pleasure. Getting to watch your body respond to him his perch above you, your naked figure far more beautiful than anything he could’ve imagined. It was all so perfect. You were perfect.

He picked up the pace of his thrusts, not too fast, but perfectly timed with the squeeze of your fingers on his back. He knew he must be hitting something right in the way you were gripping his shoulders and crying out for him. Crying out for him. Your voice was strained and winded as his name fell from your lips in a chant.

His self-control must’ve been at an all-time high, because he closed his eyes for a moment, gaining his bearings and talking himself down from cumming at the sounds of your whines.

He collects whatever composure is left in his body and brings a hand down between the two of you, fingertips finding that sensitive spot just above where his cock is driving into you.

He rubs steady circles into your clit, and judging by the way his name jumps from you an octave higher than before, he knows he’ll get to watch you cum again.

He makes it his goal. Setting his thrusts at a fixed pace, as his fingers deliberately stroke your bundle of nerves. He focuses completely on your pleasure to distract himself from the pulsing pressure running through his veins.

He needs to see you let go for him one more time before he can finish. An easy task given the way your back is arching off his bed, sending your hips further into him.

“I’m gonna-“ The words are hardly coherent as they slip between your gasps and moans— wanting to tell him you’re close but unable to string more than two words together.

“Come on sweetheart.” His words were directed straight to your core, eyes back down and watching between your bodies as he slides into you. His mind growing hazy at the sight of you taking his cock so well.

His encouragement was all you needed to let go. Your release washing over you in waves of bliss.

Jack’s eyes make the journey back to your face, watching in awe at your expression as it takes on a state of utter relief, your head falling even deeper into the blanket underneath you.

That image is what finally makes him succumb to the persistent chase of his release.

He’s groaning and panting, one of his hands coming to grip your hips, the other balancing himself on the mattress, pressed flat on the space next to your face.

He’s grunting profanities as he spills through his orgasm, allowing his elbow to bend so he can rest his forehead against yours. Both of you breathing heavy, eyes meeting in a moment of vulnerability and understanding as you bring a hand up to lace through his hair. Almost petting his grey curls, you lazily smile through the puffs of breath on your lips.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever get over seeing you like this, an angel laid out on his bedspread— just for him. Giving you both a moment to recover, he stays like that for a minute. He’s leaning into you, listening to your soft breaths even out, and he can feel himself getting hard again. His dick is still throbbing, not even fully soft and he’s already ready for another round.

His cock getting hard again, that fast after sex, was something he hadn’t experienced in over a decade.

These days Jack needed plenty of time between orgasms to even think about getting another erection, but in this moment, still buried in you and hearing the tiny gasps of breath coming from your heaving chest, he wanted more. He could feel his addiction to you growing stronger, reminding him of the forbidden nature of your budding relationship.

“What are we getting ourselves into.” Speaking his thoughts aloud, his voice fills the room, a grin lingering in his lips.

He can’t help but smile as he imagines what the future holds for your relationship, his forehead still pressed gently against yours.

my masterlist

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luna-azzurra · 2 days ago

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10 Lies Your Character Believes About Themselves (And They’d Die Before Admitting It)

These aren't the fun, Disney Channel lies like “I'm just a regular girl” while literally being a secret pop star. These are the ugly ones. The ones that get in your character’s blood and start rewriting their whole life without them noticing.

» “If people really knew me, they'd leave.” Not "might." Would. No question. So they smile bigger. They edit harder. They keep conversations surface-level. All while carrying this bone-deep certainty that love is conditional... and they are dangerously close to failing the test.

» “I have to earn every good thing.” Rest? Happiness? A day without guilt? They treat those things like prizes at the end of a brutal obstacle course. No one told them they could just have good things. No strings. No blood price. (So they keep bleeding anyway.)

» “I'm too much.” Too loud. Too intense. Too sensitive. Too complicated. They know it. They've been told. So now they pull themselves in, hold their breath, bite back everything real until they barely take up space at all. (And ironically, they still think they’re being "too much.")

» “I'm not enough.” Neat little trick, right? They’re both "too much" and "not enough" at the same time. Magic. They're convinced everyone else got the secret manual for how to be lovable and they somehow missed it.

» “If I'm strong enough, nothing can hurt me.” They call it resilience. Other people call it stubbornness. Reality calls it self-destruction. They've mistaken numbness for healing and independence for invulnerability. But hurt still gets in. It just hits harder when it’s been bottled up for years.

» “I’m responsible for everyone's happiness.” Caretaker. Peacemaker. Therapist friend. Emotional sponge. They’ve appointed themselves as everyone's safety net, believing that if they don’t hold everything together, everything will fall apart. (Newsflash: it's not their circus, and it never was.)

» “I don't need anyone.” Need is a dirty word. It’s weak. It’s dangerous. So they white-knuckle their way through life, collecting scars and pretending it’s freedom. But late at night? In the dark? They’d sell their soul for someone to just... stay.

» “I'm the villain in someone else's story and they might be right.” They know they've hurt people. Made bad calls. Left damage. And no matter how much good they do now, some part of them whispers, You don’t get to come back from that.

» “My best days are behind me.” Whether they peaked in high school, lost their shot at something important, or just carry a chronic ache of nostalgia, they believe it’s too late. That nothing good can be built from where they are now. (Which, ironically, makes them waste even more time.)

» “This is as good as it gets.” They settle. For bad love. Boring jobs. Half-dead dreams. They tell themselves it's "realistic." "Mature." "Practical." But underneath? It's fear. It's heartbreak. It's the quiet belief that hope is something they can’t afford anymore.

#writing #writerscommunity #writer on tumblr #writing tips #writing advice #character development #writer tumblr #writblr #writing help #i am a writer #writers on tumblr #aspiring writer #female writers #writer #indie writer #writer community #writer stuff #writer things #writer problems

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elodieunderglass · 2 days ago

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Horses are often referred to as prey animals, but what are their natural predators?

Any large grassland predator in the biome, including humans! This is an interesting question, though, because it takes in the axes of time and space. "Wild" horses, the ancestor of domestic horses, are currently extremely rare. The only existing ones in a wild state are Przewalski's horses, also called the Takhi or Mongolian Wild Horses, which live on the Mongolian steppe. Their "natural predators" in that environment would include wolves and snow leopards (which are themselves endangered). However, it isn't an entirely natural setup; they were reintroduced to their native habitat after becoming essentially extinct, through an incredibly complex and fascinating recovery project. In the spacetime pocket in which Earth has wild horses, that's the current state of play: wild horses live in Mongolia and are occasionally eaten by wolves, but are being preserved fiercely for the benefit of humanity.

Meanwhile, we do have things like Dartmoor ponies in England and mustangs in North America and Brumbies in Australia. Dartmoor ponies aren't eaten by anything and are considered feral in the sense that they're domestic animals that live wild, but more or less on purpose, with the moor being treated as a common for keeping ponies on, and the nominal owners can just grab one if they want one at any time. Mustangs are accidental colonists of the American West. They are preyed on by wolves, cougars, and other local large predators, but are not wild. they are feral because they're all descendants of European horses and honestly, if we aren't being sentimental about it, they're invasive.

North America has not had a native population of horses since humans arrived on the continent. The facts are often associated. It is commonly held that humans, upon arriving in America, ate the native horses all up. The typical line goes that "when the first humans populated North America, they were so greedy and invasive that they overhunted most of the local large mammals to extinction". but I personally - and in an unhinged I'm-allowed-to-randomly-hold-ONE-fringe-belief-that-I-Made-up-Myself way - don't like that narrative, and there might be evidence in oral myths indicating that First Nations people at least remembered contact with horses prior to European colonisation. At any rate, there aren't wild horses on that side of the planet any more. The mustang - the most classic "wild horse" in imagination - is not wild, but is currently preyed on by everything that WOULD have eaten the OG native horses of America, minus the large predators that have gone extinct since then (sabre-toothed tigers). Whether mustangs are a nice reintroduction that adds a missing element of Horf to the landscape, or agents of ecological devastation, is kind of up in the air. But they are regularly and routinely preyed upon by the same "natural predators" as the wild cousins would have been, albeit in lower numbers. Take-home message: to visualise how interactions of wild horses with predators and the environment would have looked, mustangs are a very good model.

Going back to the "time" element, human interaction has really decreased a lot of the "natural predators" of horses; they were once preyed on by a larger variety, diversity, and number of animals. In the pocket of spacetime when wild horses were common and had a large range, there also used to be a lot more things like hyenas in Europe and Asia. Here's a diagram showing the "prey animals" and "predators" of Pleistocene Europe. Horses are on the bottom shelf on the far right, at a lower opacity, to show they're "prey animals". You can see that there was a greater diversity of predator types, while today there are usually just Your Local Wolf and Your Local Big Cat.

But this diagram puts "people" as "prey animals" - and humans are traditionally The Natural Predators of horses. Looking at that diagram, you can see that the common, smallish-but-not-too-small herd animal, whose defenses are Having Friends and Being Fast, is a delicious-looking proposition. The spectacular depictions of cave horses in Lascaux are showing our kin, but they're also showing our food.

There is a very important Middle Pleistocene site at a lake in Germany called Schöningen 13II-4, with hominin remains dating back to 300,000 years ago (!!!!!) and it's called the Spear Horizon (for the incredibly well-preserved evidence of spears) but a common nickname is the Horse Butchery Site. One of the most ancient preservations of hominin behaviour, culture, skill, tool-making - their/our priorities, their/our methodology, their/our view of the world - is a narrative of eating horse meat. And the hominins at the Horse Butchery Site did it in a way that seems quite rapacious. Entire family groups of horses, coming to the lake to drink, would be butchered at once: Persistent predators: Zooarchaeological evidence for specialized horse hunting at Schöningen 13II-4 - ScienceDirect It seems like the hominins were killing a lot of horses and not using a lot of the meat, because they wanted fat, and horses don't have much of that.

At any rate, human-shaped people and horse-shaped horses have a very, VERY long history of us eating them. WE are their natural predators. And it makes sense. Humans and Equines are all social animals of relatively small sizes and have interacted with each other for an extremely long time. We have observed them, we know them, we grew up together. For quite a lot of that history, we had a simple relationship; we ate them. Now we much prefer to ride them.

Horses have not entirely forgotten this, but appear to have largely forgiven it.

#horfposting

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bluebellles · 3 days ago

Text

"i'll take a quiet life"

gentle moments of reciprocating their affection

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, sfw

cw: varying relationship stages, brief callbacks to child experimentation (canon compliant), zayne’s describes a poor relationship with food, heavy on dragon sylus sorry i wish i could be different, ur down bad and a little embarrassing in Xavier’s but he’s worse, author is still settling into character analysis for these guys so pls forgive any ooc

Your hunting partner excelled in many ways. His skill in the field was both undeniable and terrifying, his ability to fall asleep anywhere concerned you as much as it impressed you, and his calm demeanor even in the face of the most stressful situations set your mind at ease whenever you fought alongside him.

The only area he truly lacked in, in your humble opinion, was in his ability to give a straight answer about anything to do with himself or his personal life.

He was, in many ways, a vault of information for everything from the history of wanderers to arbitrary and niche subjects that a normal person would have had to spend a lifetime studying to be able to reference as easily as him. If you had a question about nearly any subject, your walking encyclopedia of a partner likely had the answer ready to deliver to you accompanied by a yawn and that sleepy blink of his eyes.

Answers about himself, however, were much harder to come by. He never declined your inquiries outright, but he had a litany of creative and mildly infuriating ways to dodge the question. He was very adept at distracting you, often with food or confusing questions of his own. You once asked him what he did over the weekend and he pulled a bag of your favorite candy out of his pocket to offer to you, waited until you started munching on it happily, and then just said “and what about you?” as if he had already answered your question. You were also highly suspicious about the timing of his naps on the train to get to missions – always falling asleep right after you try making small talk about where he grew up or his family.

It's not like you didn’t want to respect his boundaries. He was probably just a very private person or a secret criminal and either way it was ultimately none of your business. It’s just that it was a little difficult to jump into battle alongside another person on a daily basis and trust them to have your back when you couldn’t even get him to tell you about his hobbies. Nothing to do with the way your heart sped up a little seeing him at his desk in the mornings at all. Completely sensible and utilitarian curiosity.

So, rather than continuing to pester him for answers you decided you would simply observe him to get to know him better. Admittedly, as far as subjects for study he was an interesting one. And very nice to look at.

You learned quite a bit about the sleepy man through your observations, jotting down everything you learned in a small, unassuming notebook you kept on hand during work hours.

For example, he spends an hour in the break room every day eating concerning amounts of convenience store ramen and reading random books about obscure subjects like 101 Facts About Wooly Mammoths and Dating Advice for Older Men. Always a different book, and he always manages to finish it by the time his self-imposed break is over. If anyone tries to make conversation with him during that time period, he will pretend to fall asleep. You’re honestly starting to believe he has narcolepsy or something. Or just very selective hearing.

Contrary to your initial assumptions, he also does have a sense of humor. All of his jokes are told with his usual flat affectation and could easily be mistaken for serious comments, but once you start to look so closely at him it’s easier to pick up on the subtle, teasing drawl at the end of his quips or the way his nose twitches a little with the effort not to smile when he’s messing with you.

You were in the middle of conducting a very serious investigation about his various micro expressions one night when the two of you stopped by a crepe stand on your way home from work.

You had already been to the crepe stand a few times a few times with Tara. It was a cute little business run by an older man and his son who had recently graduated from university. You had rambled to Xavier enthusiastically about how they were the only place that had your favorite combination of fillings and how you were craving something sweet, and he had only nodded and said “mh”, which you had learned to translate as enthusiastic agreement.

The owner’s son happened to be running the stand that day and was just as friendly and outgoing with you as always, winking at you when he asked if you wanted your usual. His easygoing smile had faded, however, with a quick glance behind you before he busied himself with making your crepe.

You turned around in confusion, only finding Xavier with the same mild, spaced out expression as always looking innocently off to the side.

A few minutes later, you dutifully hand over a delicious looking savory crepe filled with meat to the silver-haired man before looking over your own, practically salivating over the combination of fruits and cream. He stared it with what you had recently identified as confusion before looking to you imploringly.

“Not sweet?”

“Oh!” you flustered a little, realizing how presumptuous you had been in ordering for him, “Sorry, I just thought- you prefer savory to sweet right? I mean, when Jenna brings pastries in you always take a croissant instead of a donut-,”

You cut yourself off before you could start listing all the different ways you had been a total creep recently.

“I can get you a sweet one if you prefer,” you whispered out, trying your best to look completely unaffected.

A soft huff left Xavier’s lips, and you looked up to see that gentle half-smile he sometimes gave you and a very soft look in his eyes.

“It’s fine,” he assured you, “I do prefer savory things.”

The second half of his sentence, oddly enough, was accompanied by a very smug glance at the owner’s son who looked rightfully confused and possibly a little nervous.

Armed with your contrasting crepes, the two of you chose to stroll and eat, enjoying the gentle spring breeze that blanketed the evening as you walked. Absentmindedly, you mentioned the owner’s son again in passing, praising him for his skill in creating the perfect ratio of fillings. Xavier suddenly made a face you hadn’t seen on him before.

A tiny twitch of his nose, similar to when he was trying not to laugh, but followed by a miniscule pout before he took a rather aggressive bite of his crepe as if it had done something to offend him personally.

Your fingers twitched with the urge to whip out your little notebook to record this breaking update in your investigation but refrained for the meantime, tilting your head to the side and studying him closely.

“Is something wrong with your crepe…?”

He froze, glancing down at his food contemplatively.

“…Yes.”

“Yes?”

“I’m done,” he declared bluntly, turning to glare at your almost finished crepe with equal hostility, “Are you done?”

“I mean- I guess?” You blinked at him.

“Mh.”

Wordlessly, he took your crepe from you and ambled off to find a nearby trashcan. You took the opportunity to whip out your notebook to catalogue all the new data you had collected.

The nose twitch was multipurpose – sometimes indicating amusement and sometimes indicating… irritation? And the tiny pout. Did he have a stomachache? More information was needed.

You were so wrapped up your excited theorizing that you failed to notice the presence of someone coming up right behind you, peering over your shoulder to read the words you were jotting down.

“I don’t have a stomachache,” a deep voice rumbled directly in your ear, causing you to shriek and fling the notebook further down the sidewalk. It scraped against the concrete before flopping pathetically next to a storm drain.

You whipped around in abject horror only to find Xavier’s face two inches from yours, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“That was not at all what it looked like,” you lied blatantly, eyes darting between him and the notebook.

“What did it look like?” he asked mildly, his face betraying nothing of his current mood. He was still close enough to you that you could count all of his individual lashes and make out a few tiny scars along his jaw.

“I’m not stalking you.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not.”

“Mh.”

Xavier didn’t press the subject, instead going over to retrieve the notebook. Mortification rolled over your entire being as he began rifling through the pages. You wished a car was driving by so you could throw yourself in front of it.

“It’s seriously not as creepy as it seems,” you sound delusional even to yourself, “I just wanted to get to know you better.”

While you were panicking and wondering how soon you could transfer departments, Xavier was staring down at the pages filled with your cute handwriting in contemplation.

It would seem that he had underestimated you once again.

Finding you in this lifetime, as a dying star well past its expiration date, he hadn’t been expecting much in the way of your relationship with him. It was simply an impulse he could not ignore – the honor of being close to you. He sought out your brilliance and would always endeavor to orbit around you but it was hardly even a thought in his brain that you would be drawn to him in the same way. Not when he was so tired. Not when he could only offer you a beautiful afterimage of what he had once been.

He should not have doubted you. In every life, you were always the only one to really see him. The only one to even bother looking beyond his blinding light. After so many years of existence and so many different identities, he only ever really saw himself through the reflection of your gaze. He was a fool to have assumed your soul would falter even if he was scattered across the galaxy instead of whole as he once was.

“Forgive me,” his voice was hoarser than his usually airy cadence, his gaze more focused than you were used to when he looked over at you.

Confusing as it may have been, you didn’t need your notebook to identify his current expression. When Xavier finally looked back at you, the way you had been looking at him all these weeks, it was impossible to mistake the devotion in his eyes.

Rafayel turned the conch shell over in his hands, letting out a thoughtful hum as he let his fingers dance across the spikes. The outside was a gradient of pretty blues that melted into a soft pink closer to the center. A small sticker with a price that had been hastily covered up with marker stuck to the side. The artist’s eye twitched minutely at the sight of it clashing against the otherwise pleasant color palette, already using a sharp nail to carefully peel it off.

“Isn’t it pretty?” you gushed a little, a self-satisfied grin tugging at your lips as you pointed at the shell as though couldn’t see it, “If you put your ear against it, you can hear the ocean!”

He let out a petulant scoff at this, eyes narrowing at the conch shell like it was guilty of scamming you and he was about to put it on trial.

“It’s lying to you, cutie,” he scowled a bit, as though the conch had advertised this gimmick itself, before pointing dramatically at the waves crashing right outside the glass of his windows, “and did you lose your vision or something? The ocean’s right outside if you want to listen to it so bad. …Maybe if you visited me more often you’d-,”

“No, shut up, I know,” you rolled your eyes and nudged him a little before brightening again, “but still – it really sounds like waves! Besides, I thought you could take it with you when you go on your trip for that client meeting. I looked it up. There aren’t any beaches nearby, the whole city is landlocked. I figured you might get homesick or something. Now you don’t have to!”

Rafayel stared at you. Things had been strange the whole morning, starting from when you showed up at his doorstep lacking any of your usual complaints about his antics and without any coercing on his part.

You had come to visit him of your own accord? You had looked up the geography of his business trip because you were worried about him getting homesick? He mentally scanned through all the elaborate schemes to get your attention he had acted out recently, wondering which one of them had prompted such a reaction from you. He had been so busy with a new series for a very annoying client the past few weeks and he couldn’t think of anything he had done recently that would have warranted this. So why?

“Besides, it kinda looks like your eyes, right?” You said off-handedly, only half paying attention as you adjusted a setting on your watch, casual as if you hadn’t just said something that made his already rapid heartrate speed into overdrive and the tips of his ears flush a pretty red.

Just when he thought he was starting to get a handle on this version of you, that he had figured out the proper tune to draw you closer, you decided to change the rules of the game again. He supposed he should have been used to it by now. Every version of you always managed to shatter his expectations as easily as you breathed. As unpredictable as the ocean, and just as beautiful to him. But honestly, what was a fish to do? How was he supposed to ever prepare for you?

“Are you trying to win employee of the month or something?” he scrambled a little, whipping his head to the side and trying to keep the squeakiness out of his voice, “I won’t be giving you a bonus for it. Just so you know.”

You scowled at this, glancing away from your watch and trying to swipe the conch shell out of his hands.

“Whatever. If you don’t want it just say that,” you huffed as he held it out of your reach, still without looking at you.

“Be quiet,” he sniffed haughtily, holding the shell up to his ear and pushing you away gently by your forehead with his other hand, “I’m listening to the ocean.”

“I thought you said-”

Insufferably, he hushed you and closed his eyes under the guise of concentrating so you wouldn’t see the softness of his expression. All he could hear was random ambient sound, not even close to the vibrant complexities of the sea that encompassed his birthplace. Even still, as he pictured you carefully rummaging through different shells at the pier market and comparing their hues to his eyes, he had never felt closer to home.

As much as he'd like to pretend he was the siren ensnaring you into his trap, he was well aware that that honor belonged to you. Regardless of the time or the place or the bodies you both inhabited, your song was a tune that could never be erased from the core of his being and one he would always walk towards willingly. How annoying.

For a man who lived his life with complete precision, who planned out every day with strict control and little room for superfluities, it was nearly impossible not to notice even the slightest changes in routine.

As such, every tiny alteration you made to his otherwise balanced life was meticulously documented and filed away. Not with annoyance or disapproval, as some might expect, but instead with the intention to figure out how to best accommodate for your whims without disrupting his own routines or, infinitely more abhorrent to consider, burdening your own carefree sensibility with his neuroses.

Pausing in the doorway to straighten out the shoes you had haphazardly kicked off on your way in. Making sure you had a glass of water next to your daily iced coffee so that you wouldn’t get dehydrated. Carefully holding onto your hand and keeping you steady as you insisted on walking across the side of a bridge rather than the sidewalk next to him. Despite the stoic expression and steadfast seriousness he exhibited while preforming these simple tasks for you, he did not consider them to be a burden. It was a privilege to bear witness the vivacity you brought into his world.

He was content, in this way, to watch you bulldoze through life with reckless abandon and dutifully reorganize the chaos you left in your wake. It was enough to feel the brilliance of your warm light soak into his cold skin. He would remain steady and controlled for the both of you.

You were, however, a little less content with this arrangement. Zayne was steady. Constant. A stone pillar for you to rest against when you couldn’t handle standing up on your own. You loved this about him, but he wasn’t infallible. Wasn’t impervious to desire and indulgence. You loved this about him too. You just wished he could learn to love it about himself.

You knew your boyfriend loved sweet things. It was something you often teased him about, mostly joking in every respect besides the potential cavities. To be honest, you found it endearing and loved to see evidence of the gentle, sweet man hidden beneath his frosty exterior.

The only thing that really concerned you about the doctor’s habit was that despite his propensity for baked goods and sugary candy, he didn’t actually seem to enjoy the process of eating them very much at all.

It was often during times of stress that he’d make a detour by the local bakery after a long shift. He would eat pastries as quickly as possible, a stark contrast from his usual habits that left little time for savoring the flavor. It almost seemed like an uncontrollable urge, a shameful impulse that he wanted to push through as quickly as possible. As utilitarian as one could be while digging into a strawberry shortcake.

Zayne was a tempered man, driven by the ideology that if he lost even an ounce of control, he wouldn’t be able to stop the spiral. He wasn’t someone who could integrate indulgence into his routine halfheartedly. There was no true enjoyment to be found from acquiescing to his desire, only a temporary slip that would be accompanied by unfulfilled resolutions to abstain in the future.

You disagreed.

The two of you had a nice, cozy dinner together every Friday after work. Usually consisting of takeout, often delayed due to both of your hectic schedules, and sometimes taking place on the uncomfortable wooden benches outside the hospital but you always made it happen without fail.

One night after a good meal with lighthearted conversation about your respective days, you retreated to Zayne’s fridge and returned with a miniature cake and an excited smile.

Zayne stared. It was a pretty cake, artfully piped cream and strawberries between layers of sponge cake with a delicate dusting of powdered sugar on top. His brow twitched minutely, mentally scanning through significant dates or anomalous recent events that could have prompted such an extravagance as you carefully removed it from the plastic bakery box.

“…What’s the occasion?” he finally asked with great reluctance, disappointed by his own inability to decipher what he was missing.

“Hm?” you blinked, setting out two dessert forks and keeping your countenance deliberately casual, “No occasion, it just looked good.”

He stared at the cake as if it held all the world’s secrets.

“Did something happen today?” he pressed on, carefully assessing your mental state as if expecting you to suddenly have a mental breakdown.

“I had a craving for cake, that’s what happened,” you shrugged, not waiting for him before digging your fork into the side of dessert.

He watched as you savored your bite of cake with simple contentedness, no hint of stress or shame about the enjoyment you took from a useless indulgence. Not giving in to any kind of uncontrollable urge or distracting from any kind of emotional need. Pleasure for pleasure’s sake.

“You aren’t going to make me eat this whole thing by myself, are you?” you pouted playfully at him, making the puppy dog expression that always got you an exasperated huff followed by the immediate entertainment of whatever you asked for, “It doesn’t taste as good if we aren’t both enjoying it.”

Zayne, as always, weighed out his options out. If it was for you, maybe it was okay. As always.

He picked up the fork and took a slow bite.

After that night you had decided this was now an inherent part of your weekly routine, showing up with brightly colored macarons, beautifully decorated tarts, and decadent chocolate creations depending on what caught your eye at the bakery. You started calling it your ‘mandatory sweet treat’ and continued the tradition without fail. Always eaten in tandem with a balanced meal and shared slowly over happy conversation. A celebration of your bond rather than a shameful impulse.

Zayne continued to tell himself that he was just playing along with your whims as usual. After all, how could it be wrong when you smiled so sweetly at him as you handed him his fork?

It wasn’t until one week, when you stumbled into his house flustered after an unusually difficult mission and no time to stop by the bakery before closing that he finally had to admit his own enjoyment for the activity.

There was a brief silence after dinner was finished that week. He stared at the cleared table as if expecting something delicious to appear out of thin air. When it didn’t, he cleared his throat and clasped his fingers together on the table with his usual sense of decorum.

“…No sweet treat today?” he asked ruefully.

You couldn’t contain your grin, whipping out your phone immediately to scroll through bakeries and ice cream parlors that stayed open late for sugar fiends like your adorable boyfriend.

Something had shifted recently. A tiny change in your dynamic that pricked ever so slightly at the center of his chest. Like everything else with you in this new lifetime, he tried his best not to sink his teeth into it and drag it forcefully out into the open. Used all his self-control to let you tend to it on your own terms and pretended not to notice.

In hindsight, maybe the first change had been after he showered in your apartment for the first time. He had taken a polite amount of your body wash, trying his best not to infringe on your hospitality like a normal, human house guest, but as the scent of it (the scent of you) rolled over him his pupils had dilated. Fingers clenching against the bottle with the minute tingle of claws that no longer existed trying to come to the surface.

Smelling like you, knowing if anyone else walked by they would associate him with you and you with him, fed that deeply hidden instinct he tried so hard not to bother you with. You had scarcely gotten over your disgustand he was going to do his very best to keep it that way, annoying and primal dragon brain be damned.

But still, just this once. Just this little thing would be okay, right?

Before he knew it he was drenching himself in the scent. Indulgent and greedy and marked by you.

When he confessed nonchalantly to having used your entire bottle of body wash, playing it off as a taunt and hoping you didn’t notice the faint flush of his cheeks, he expected your usual annoyance or scathing remark. Some sort of sly dig that he could latch onto and use to keep your attention on him. It was the game this version of you liked to play, and like every version of himself he was happy to indulge.

Instead, you had just hummed thoughtfully. Eyes a little distant as though ruminating over something in your head. The switch up made him tense just a little. Wonder if you could see through to the most feral part of him and if you would scorn him for it.

“You’ll have to give me a bottle of yours, then,” you said instead, eye contact oddly intentional for the moment, “to make it even.”

He almost jolted in place, clenching his fists at his sides for just a moment before relaxing.

She doesn’t know what it means. How could she? Swallow it down. Keep pretending that you can be human.

“Your negotiation skills have improved, kitten,” he speaks mildly, instead of pinning you to the couch the way he wanted to, “I suppose fair is fair.”

The second shift came in the form of a necklace, elaborately encrusted with bloodred rubies and sparkling diamonds. It rested in its glass case at an underground auction, the gleam of it against black velvet activating that familiar desire to possess and hoard away treasures so that nobody else could have them. He pictured it laying delicately across your neck and had to stop the rumble that threatened to emit from his chest.

He sprung it on you right before an undercover mission to gain intel about a powerful protocore, one of many he had sought out and curated to spend a little more time with you. Tried to feed you some line about how you needed to fit in with the wealthy crowd you were attempting to infiltrate that night.

He expected you to remark about the exorbitant tastes of the uber rich or fluster about the idea of accidentally damaging such an expensive item and try to force it back into his hands. Both reactions were equally endearing to him, as was everything about you.

Instead, you only looked at him with that same thoughtful expression, allowing him to gently drape it over you and fasten it while narrowly avoiding the urge to take a deep inhale of the back of your neck.

You examined yourself in the mirror, fiddling with the stones delicately, but your gaze was on his reflection behind you when you spoke.

“It’s pretty,” you spoke simply, your tone of voice one he hadn’t heard from you before. Something more gentle, not quite complacent but almost approving.

As if you were praising his tastes. Praising his hoard. Accepting his courting gift.

It was more difficult than ever to swallow that rumble back down again. The reaction was new, but you couldn’t possibly have understood the delusions you were feeding. Stay human. Keep letting her come to you. You already used up all your luck the first time around, you have to be more careful now.

His eyes scarcely left your neck for the rest of the night.

It wasn’t until days later that the final thread of his self-control snapped. The intel mission had taken longer than expected, and you were staying in his house to avoid the tedious commute from Linkon. A practical solution, he insisted to both you and himself, nothing to do with the primal desire to keep you firmly in his territory.

He could scarcely pinpoint how it had happened, but sometime during your quiet evening routine of reading next to each other on the giant, plush couch in his living room you had ended up curled between the couch’s arm and him. You weren’t pinned down by any means, but you were entirely engulfed by his larger frame. If someone were to walk by they would not even be able to see you beyond him.

Completely covered on all sides. Protected from threats. Guarded by him. Nothing could touch you tucked so deeply into his territory, surrounded by him and his hoard and completely at ease.

Despite his most sincere efforts, he couldn’t stop the rumble from finally emitting from his chest. Couldn’t stop the deep purr that vibrated throughout him and rolled over you.

He froze. Cut himself off from making any noise and, for a moment, even breathing. It was with great hesitation that he forced himself to meet your gaze. Fearful of the disgust and reproach that clouded your first meeting in this lifetime making a reappearance as you finally recognized the part of himself, he tried to keep buried for you.

Instead, that curious expression scanned over his face. Your head tilted to the side just a bit. Tentatively, you reached for his hair from where he was resting against your side and began running delicate fingers through it. His breath hitched. You glanced away from him, returning to your book but keeping up your gentle ministrations.

His purring started up again. A tiny smile twitched at the corners of your lips.

Caleb dutifully held the umbrella above your head as though he was getting paid for it, but you caught his gaze drifting to the puddles collecting near the sidewalk multiple times. Your mind drifted to rainy summer days when you were kids, sloshing around in puddles and competing to see who could slosh the most water at the other before Gran would poke her head out the front door to scold you both inside. Something twisted in your chest. Without thinking much further about it, you ducked out beneath the umbrella and took a flying leap into the nearest puddle, delighting in the small splash kicked up by your boots.

“You trying to catch a cold, Pips?” Caleb’s tone was shrouded in playfulness, the way it always was around you, but underneath it was a brief waver, a sharpening of his gaze that revealed the true panic he felt at even the possibility of harm befalling you under his watch.

The hypervigilance that couldn’t differentiate between a mild sickness and the sight of your battered, tiny body strapped to a white table.

“So what if I do?” you challenged him then, hopping to an adjacent puddle and trying to keep the intention out of your voice. He flinched, as if you had just said something absurd. Opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again before trying to adjust to something more casual. Teasing and relaxed instead of the phrenetic and overbearing mess he tried so hard to hide from you.

“If you get sick you’ll have to skip the congressman’s dinner, and I’ll have to go alone. You wouldn’t do that to me, would you?”

Right. An annual, stuffy dinner party where a bunch of government officials got together to talk about boring politics and pretend it was necessary to use four different forks for one meal. Half of them actively held grudges against Caleb for his unprecedented skyrocket to authority within the fleet and the other half thought he could be manipulated into granting them favors because of his youth. None of them deserved his time, you thought petulantly, not in the way you did.

“So come get a cold with me,” you rebutted, tilting your head to the side playfully, “Then we can just stay home and play video games all day instead.”

Caleb paused at this. You could practically see the cogs whirring in his brain as he tried to reconcile his pathological need for your safety with the temptation of staying inside with you all day, just the two of you, maybe curled up together on the couch as you ate snacks he would carefully prepare for you as he nurses you back to health, maybe sick with the same germs. His head tilted to the side like a puppy who had just heard the words walk, treat, and good boy in succession.

“…I bet we could even knock out a whole Lego set before we get better,” you sweetened the deal.

Caleb practically flung the umbrella onto the sidewalk at this, giving no warning before launching himself into the puddle next to you and causing a significantly larger splash. You shrieked in both offense and thrill and splashed him back, reveling in the delighted laugh the usually curated man let out. The grin on his face was a little more crooked and uncontrolled than his usual teasing smile, the shrewd look in his eyes when he looked anywhere besides you just the tiniest bit lighter. It wasn’t a lot, but you were grateful for any amount of levity you could offer to him. Listening to the sound of his unrestrained laughter, something in you settled just a bit.

For all his intelligence and capability, Caleb’s perception of himself was skewed by his self-imposed reluctance to ever look in the mirror. Caleb believed he was a feral wolf, with teeth too sharp to be filed down and starved by his trauma in a way that meant he’d never feel full again. So instead, he tried his best to show you a puppy. Docile and obedient without any appetite for vengeance or destruction. Someone who could curl up at your feet without you getting scared he’d sink his teeth into you the way he wanted to. You were the only one that knew he was neither.

Caleb was not the perfect, golden boy he spent so much of his life curating for you. He also wasn’t the cold, unfeeling weapon of destruction he desperately tried to hide away from your sight. He was something in between, childlike in his rage and his joy in equal measure. Calculating, certainly, and more than a little manipulative, but the end goal had always been to protect the both of you from a world that had never been as kind as he deserved. Caleb was not a monster, as he thought, or a perfect shield, as he so desperately wanted you to think. He was just a man, and once just a very scared boy. Just yours. And you would spend the rest of your life trying to prove that to him.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #lads #lads x reader #lads fluff #lads hurt/comfort #love and deepspace fluff #xavier x reader #rafayel x reader #zayne x reader #sylus x reader #caleb x reader #belle's bakery

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reignpage · 9 hours ago

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In which Nanami and his wife suffer a loss Tw: grief, death, miscarriage, depression

“Sweetheart,” he begins, a strain in his husky voice, “you should eat something.”

You don’t respond. There’s a lot to say, but none you can get through without crying, you think, so you sit in the garden, feeling a warm breeze brush over you. It had only been days since it happened, and a dull silence has filled your home, mocking and taunting. Practically catatonic, you only get up from the chair you dragged from the dining room to the garden to use the toilet or to lie in bed awake all night.

Kento, ever the rock, has been picking up the pieces — he’s cleaned the blood from the floor, dealt with the paperwork, spoken to all the doctors, and has begun making those dreaded phone calls to your closest friends and family. He doesn’t sleep, either.

“Please, honey. The doctors said you need to recuperate your energy.”

A scoff leaves you. “The doctors said a lot of things, Kento, and we did it all. We did everything right. Everything. And for what?”

He sighs.

“I know.”

And that’s all he can say.

He leaves a plate of food with you and disappears inside the house. You’re sure he’s just giving you space because that’s what he thinks you need or want, though, in truth, it only makes you feel worse. As if he can barely look at you, he never sits with you, never stays in the same room for very long after checking on your health, and doesn’t reach for your body at night or in the morning. Probably because he wouldn’t be able to stomach the reminder of what had been lost. Of what you lost.

Or rather, what you took from him.

Maybe some of those phone calls he takes are to his lawyers. Maybe instead of a fresh birth certificate, all you’ll have to commemorate those months you’ve spent creating life are divorce papers. You can’t blame him. You resent yourself, too.

There are going to be a lot of changes in the house and none that you had been anticipating. The baby proofing will have to come off: the gates at the stairs, the rubber guards on the table corners, the locks on cabinets. And the nursery…

How long will that room stay as it is?

How long before those gentle clouds are painted over and the onesies are thrown away or donated?

Your feet take you there on autopilot, you’re not even really sure where you are until you blink and realise you’re holding a stuffed toy of a giraffe to your nose. It doesn’t smell of anything, never had the chance to smell like anything, not baby powder or even vomit; it’s just empty.

“Sweetheart?” Kento looks tired. There are dark circles under his eyes, a scruffiness to his jaw that you’ve never seen, his hair is messy like he’s run his hands through it many times, and his socks are mismatched. You haven’t looked in a mirror in a while, so you can’t say if you look just as bad or worse, and nothing in how he looks at you gives it away. “Are you al—“

Always so thoughtful, he stops himself from asking what he knows is a ridiculous question. Of course, you’re not alright. How could you be?

Even at his worst, he doesn’t ever want to hurt you. You come first, even if the whole world wouldn’t blame him if he was selfish for just one second. That's your husband. Always so perfect, so deserving of…well, more.

Without needing him to say the words, you answer the question that hangs in the air. “I just wanted to see this place one last time before we turn it back to a guest room.”

“Is that what you’d like? To clean the room out?” His words are measured, voice restrained, and it switches something in you, sparking guilt and life, both of which come hand in hand, you realise now.

You feel terrible; you haven't even considered what he wants.

He sees something in your eyes, something that softens his gaze and urges him forward, wrapping his arms around you. Gentle and warm, you immediately melt into his embrace — you’ve forgotten how good it feels, how right, and you slot back together like puzzle pieces.

Holding him tight, you whisper, “I don’t know what I want to do with the room. It feels wrong to erase it all, but I don’t think it should just sit here, collecting dust, y’know?”

“I understand. But if it’s okay with you, I’d like to keep it around for a little longer. I’m not quite ready to say goodbye.”

You’re going to cry — you always did when he bares his soul to you. With a nod, you shuffle out of his embrace and make your way out, passing the toy to him, but he holds on, keeping you there with him. His grip is unsteady, shaky, and desperate.

“Please talk to me, sweetheart.” His voice breaks, a sound you’ve never heard him make. You can’t bear to look at what expression has taken over his features. If you did, you’d break, and you know it. “Let me back in. I know you’re mad at me. I know I failed you and our b-baby, but please just look at me, okay? I need to know you’re alright. That you’ll be alright.”

The tears fall in waves. “I’m not mad at you, Ken. I could never. I thought you were mad at me. I thought you hated me 'cause it was my fault. I-I must have strained myself too much, o-or something. I’m sorry.”

Kento rushes forward and holds you as if you’ll vanish before him like the future you’ve been building. He holds you like he can will life back into you, even if it robs him of his, like he wishes he could take your pain and wash it all away. “No, sweetheart. God, please don’t talk like that. Please. I-I can’t bear it.”

He fights off the overwhelming silence of loss with admissions of love, filling the room with what it should have been filled with from the very beginning. No words of comfort can be given. Nothing about a grand plan, a test, and talks of a better place could ease any of what you feel. He makes no promises that it will get better; he can’t say for sure it will. But he’s willing to try, and that’s more than enough.

At night, you lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. It’s intimacy you’ve been yearning for and didn’t realise it. He smells clean and familiar, and he radiates so much heat you hardly need covers. The hairs on his chest aren't scraggly or chafing; they're comfortable. And his fingers tickle, eliciting goosebumps as they dance up and down your spine. These are the things about him you've forgotten, that younger you would hate to ever forget, and yet you did.

From the very beginning, it had been him who dealt with everything. He took you to all your doctors appointments, read out chapters from parenting books to you, practised studies about the benefits of talking to the baby, grilled sales assistants on strollers and cribs, threw out everything in the house that could be dangerous to you — alcohol, strong perfumes, snacks and foods unadvisable to be consumed — even installed a handle in the bathroom in case you slipped.

He spoke with great pride about your development, how strong you are for being able to bear so much weight, for powering through the lethargy to attend parenting classes, and for being so diligent in your diet. Every step of the way, he had gazed at you like you hung the moon and stars, stared in wonder and in awe.

In his wallet, he carries a picture of the sonogram. He showed it off to anyone he could corner, would even kiss it for luck. In the hospital, just hours after you’re been told the news, you caught him looking at it when he thought you were asleep. You wonder if he’ll keep it now that nothing more will come from it, now that it’ll only prompt awkward conversations and won’t bear any luck.

Quiet and brimming under the surface, you know he grieved like it would be a bother to you.

“You would have been a great father, Ken,” you mutter against his chest. “I’m sorry I took that away from you.”

Shushing you, he says, “You didn’t take anything from me. You’ve given me everything. Every ounce of happiness I’ve ever felt came from you. Every wonderful memory worth keeping has been with you. I know I would have made a loving father, but only because you’d be an amazing mother. I’d never want to do any of it without you, do you understand? For better or for worse, remember, sweetheart?”

“In sickness and in health…” The words carry a bitter taste in your mouth. “What if we can never…what if I can never…?”

“Then, we can adopt. Or, we can just travel the world together. That sounds fun, doesn't it?”

He brushes a thumb over the gold band on your finger like it’s soothing, but you only feel its chains tie him down. “Maybe you should start anew with someone who isn’t broken, someone who can give you—“

“That’s enough."

There's a finality to his words that shames you into silence. It's scolding, unyielding, and almost angry.

"Don’t talk about yourself like that — like you’re a breeding machine. I won’t let anyone disrespect my wife, not even you.” Your face is cradled in his big, firm hands, forcing you to see the fierce sincerity in his eyes, which don’t waver even in the face of the tears that threaten to brim over in yours. “I love you. I love you. Nothing will change that. Nothing. I already know, without needing to search for it, that my happy ending is with you and that no one else can make me feel the way you do. You’re the woman of my dreams, with or without a baby. You’ve given me more love and happiness than I deserve and I hate when you talk about yourself like that.”

“But, Ken...”

“No, sweetheart. Listen to me. What happened was terrible. Is terrible. And we’re both allowed to feel the loss, to feel however we need to feel to process it all. But for as long as we love each other, we can face whatever the future has in store for us. Together. Whatever you want. Whether it’s to try again or to find a child already out there to love, or if it’s just each other — I’ll be happy with anything because it’ll be with you. Because I love you, and I need you a-and if you suggest leaving me once more, I think I might just die.”

You kiss him through the tears. There are no words left to be exchanged; he’s made it abundantly clear what he wants, and only in your actions can you declare to him that you’re just as much in this as he is, that you’re just as willing to fight for your shared happiness as you were before.

He clasps you to him like he believes you. Like he needs to.

For the first night in a while, you fall asleep lighter than ever, and it doesn’t feel so bad anymore.

#jjk angst #nanami angst #jjk x reader #jjk oneshot #jjk x you #jjk drabble #nanami x reader #Nanami Kento #nanami x you #nanami drabble #nanami oneshot #jujutsu kaisen nanami #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen drabble #jujutsu kaisen fic

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justwinginglife · 3 days ago

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Sleeping (Or Trying To) Beside Your Two LADS Mains

Okay, we all know the LADS men don't share, but this is hypothetically if you were able to convince two of them to get into bed with you. To SLEEP, and by sleep, I do mean sleep lol I know we horny up in here but no smut today. Thank you @tbaluver for beta reading for me, I love youu!!

Caleb/Raf

You start the night all laying on your sides; Caleb spoons you from behind while you spoon Rafayel from behind.

At first, Rafayel is completely smug and satisfied about this. If anything, it’s like you’re ignoring Caleb and lavishing your love on Raf and Raf alone. You literally have your back turned to Caleb. There’s no question about who is your favorite in this position. Or so he thinks.

It isn’t until he starts to feel the bed shaking ever so slightly that he realizes your butt is rubbing up against Caleb and Caleb is rubbing back. Rafayel sits up in bed immediately, demanding to switch spots. Caleb simply smirks, amused, and allows it.

Raf doesn’t think too much of it; once again, he’s thinking he’s got the better end of the deal. He proceeds to resume where Caleb left off, happily snuggling up behind you. That is until he realizes your face is buried in between Caleb’s shoulder blades, and your arms are wrapped tightly around him, and now suddenly, Raf is feeling very cold and very lonely from his position behind you.

You suddenly start to feel like you’re playing a game of musical chairs as Raf demands yet another switch.

Eventually, in the end, you all just lay flat to play it fair because you don’t feel like having the bed shift to and fro all night like a boat rocking on the waves just because Raf can’t make up his mind about where he would rather be.

Caleb/Xavier

You have to lay flat while Caleb and Xavier flank either side of you. There’s no other way to sleep.

You’re also the only person that can fall asleep, as Caleb and Xavier lie awake, engaging in a private war of who can subtly (it’s not actually that subtle) lay claim to more and more of your skin. When Caleb lays his arm across your chest, Xavier latches his hand onto your hip. When Xavier latches his hand onto your hip, Caleb curls a leg around your left leg. When Caleb curls his leg around your left leg, Xavier claims your right leg by doing the same. And if Caleb squeezes tighter, so does Xavier. And if Xavier tugs you closer to him, so does Caleb.

Eventually, you do wake up and sigh, “Are you trying to split me down the middle? Because I’m feeling very much like I’m a game of tug of war right now when I’d rather be feeling asleep. If you don’t cut it out, you’re both sleeping on the floor.”

Spoiler alert- they do end up on the floor because as hard as they try to fight it, they can’t help their own jealous tendencies. But, hey, at least you got to find out what a king sized bed feels like when you’re the only one in it.

Caleb/Zayne

Caleb and Zayne originally agree for the three of you to all lay flat with you in between them.

But in the middle of the night, Caleb secretly tries to tug you over to his side, his hand inching its way across your body to pull you towards him, only to be stopped by Zayne’s hand nudging him off. Caleb shoots a glare at Zayne but Zayne’s eyes are closed as if he’s been asleep this whole time. Caleb tries again but, again, Zayne stops him, still feigning asleep (though a small frown has formed on his face that shows he disapproves of Caleb’s childish behavior). Eventually, Caleb resorts to using his evol to draw you to him and Zayne freezes his hands in response.

Zayne never tries to take you for himself as he can tell you’ve probably noticed by now what’s going on and he knows you’re likely to lecture his head off for resorting to the same measures so he falls asleep peacefully by your side, thinking about the earful Caleb is going to get from you in the morning when you’re awake enough to lecture him (though Zayne has scooted closer to you, squeezing your hand tight, as his own way of laying claim to you subtly). He may be more mature about it than Caleb, but he still gets jealous.

Caleb/Sylus

Caleb discovers that Sylus doesn’t sleep at night so he makes Sylus “stand guard” because “at least one of us should be awake to protect you at all times,” and then he quickly falls asleep with his arms around you before Sylus can protest. He thinks he’s getting the better end of the deal, having cuddled you all night to his heart’s content, until morning hits and you’re still fast asleep and Sylus wakes him up by shoving him off the bed with a grin, saying, “It’s your turn for a shift, didn’t you say that at least one of us should be awake to protect her at all times? Time to clock in, lover boy.”

Caleb’s ready to fight for his position by your side, but by the time he’s gotten up from where Sylus shoved him to the ground, you’ve already cozied up to Sylus, encircling your arms around him protectively. Sylus falls asleep smirking, as he sinks into your warm embrace.

“Traitor.” Caleb mutters as he watches the way you wrap yourself around Sylus like his own personal shield. How’s he supposed to kick Sylus out now when you’re clinging to him for dear life?

Eventually, he stops sulking (he can’t stay mad at you when you look so precious dozing off like that, sleep buried beneath your lids, and hair tousled from tossing and turning) and he actually takes his job as your guard seriously. Of course, he’s all too happy when you finally wake up and it’s his turn to shove Sylus off of you.

And the next night, when it’s time to do it all over again, Caleb is sure to hold you tighter, to hold you closer, to hold you more intimately, just to rub it in Sylus’ face while he can. Before the “shift” changes again.

Raf/Xavier

Xavier knows if he forces Rafayel off of you with physical force or with snotty remarks, it’ll only make him look bad in front of you. After all, Rafayel has the biggest, brightest eyes and those big, bright eyes are an extremely dangerous weapon when put to good use (aka pouting). He can’t be seen taking out his jealous aggression on someone as innocent looking as Rafayel (even if he’s far from innocent). If he doesn’t play his cards right, he’ll be sleeping on the floor and Rafayel will be the one closely cozied up to you all damn night.

So Xavier decides to fight fire with fire.

Using HIS big, bright eyes, he snuggles up beside you and asks if you want to sleep beside the plushies that he won you from the arcade earlier (making it very clear that he’d be oh-so-happy if you did). You oblige him, heart melting at the sweet sight, and Xavier decides that Rafayel’s side is where he should put the plushies.

Rafayel is NOT having that. Using the same sickeningly, sweet smile, Rafayel asks if you could please sleep with the plushies HE won you as well. And when you agree, though puzzled at the sudden similar request, he proceeds to tuck HIS plushies in between you and Xavier.

Eventually, the bed is filled with so many plushies that you end up sleeping buried beneath them, and with no room left, Raf and Xavier end up sleeping on the floor. But it’s hardly sleeping, as the second one of them inches closer to the bed with the intention of slipping in beside you, the other is instantly awake to fight them off (with another phony smile, murderous eyes, and carefully placed plushie).

Raf/Zayne

Zayne sleeps flat and is very much an unbothered king, and you lay on your side, resting your head on his outstretched arm. Rafayel ends up spooning you from behind because he feels it’s the only way he can be close to you like this. But… that means that Rafayel is also somewhat snuggled up to Zayne, as he’s got nowhere to lay his head but on top of Zayne’s arm as well.

He finds it very uncomfortable at first, as you’re the only one he wants to cozy up to, but you’re already cozied up to someone else. How else is he supposed to get your attention?

Then he realizes that, at times, Zayne’s evol fluctuates throughout the night as he falls in and out of deep sleep. Rafayel can’t stand the way you shiver, even with his arms wrapped so tightly around you, so he uses his evol to keep you nice and warm. He’s just happy to finally be of some use to you. And eventually, he realizes that Zayne is of some use to him too. When Rafayel starts to get too overheated, Zayne cools him right down. Not too much later, the three of you fall into a comfortable slumber as the balance of Zayne and Rafayel’s temperatures ease you into a relaxing night’s rest.

Raf/Sylus

At first, Sylus pays no mind to Rafayel sleeping in your bed. To him, Rafayel is a child. Why would he be intimidated by a child? But as he observes Rafayel more, he starts to realize how similar they both are. They both have a dark side, hardened by the harsh realities of the world, but when it comes to you, they can’t help but soften. They both paved their own ways in their respective industries and now make monumental amounts of money. And they both have a poetic way of speaking to you, yet sharp tongues when it comes to anyone else. It’s eerily somewhat like looking into a mirror. If the mirror was shorter and less handsome, Sylus thinks to himself, smirking.

So, of course, Sylus decides to test out the playing field.

“You know,” Sylus leans over, causing Rafayel’s grip to instantly tighten around you (which, in turn, amuses Sylus immensely), “crows eat fish for breakfast.” His tone is taunting, like he’s daring Rafayel to try and fight for you with whatever measly arsenal he’s got.

But Rafayel has dealt with his fair share of the Underworld. He knows how to talk to men like Sylus.

He snorts. “And gods eat dragons for breakfast, so what?”

Sylus grins, loving every second of this conversation. “Now, now. You don’t have to be so touchy.”

“And you don’t have to be here at all.” Raf retorts.

Eventually, they’re completely ignoring you. They spend the night bantering back and forth and you almost start to get jealous that they’re paying more attention to each other than you.

Finally you interject, “Do you guys just want to sleep with each other??”

Xavier/Zayne

Charlie the baker is a nobody; Charlie the baker can get the fuck out of here. All it takes is a few snide remarks and Charlie is a goner. But Zayne? Doctor Zayne, Childhood Friend Zayne, Grandma’s First Pick Zayne, he’s a different story. If Xavier wants him out of your bed, he’s going to have to do a lot more work than just passing petty comments.

He spends all day prancing around town, telling young and old alike, whether it’s at the library, or the grocery store, or the post office, that if you have any affliction whatsoever, big or small, that Dr. Zayne at Akso Hospital will fix it for you, just ask for Dr. Zayne, that’s Z-A-Y-N-E.

When Zayne calls to tell you that he just can’t make it to bed tonight, he’s completely overbooked at work, Xavier feigns sympathy and then proceeds to hog you all to himself.

If, by some miracle, Zayne makes it home on time to sneak in an hour or two of sleep with you, snuggling his way into bed beside you, running his fingers lovingly through your hair, before trying to wrap around you from behind (you’re currently cozied up to Xavier’s chest), Xavier will notice the sudden shift in the bed, the extra weight, and he’ll mumble in his sleep (he has it down to a reflex) something along the lines of, “Does anyone hear a phone ringing? Sounds like the hospital calling…” and then he’ll tighten his grip around you, slumbering all the while, innocent as a baby.

Xavier/Sylus

Sylus, with his millions of mansions and his extravagant cars, is not threatened in the slightest by Xavier with his measly apartment and his peasantly subway pass. So when Xavier, like a rabid dog, pulls you onto his side of the bed, metaphoric teeth snapping and snarling at any sudden movement on Sylus’ part, Sylus can only respond with amusement.

Xavier is not sure what is worse, the fact that you’ve forced him to share a bed with another man (who’s also your lover), or the fact that said lover seems to care so little about Xavier’s presence beside you, even having the audacity to pull out a book and start reading it on the complete opposite end of the bed as though he has no care whether you’re in his arms or not. Xavier would lose his mind if he couldn’t hold you. And here’s a man who appears unbothered by the sight of having his loved one nestled so tightly in the arms of another man. Xavier doesn’t understand him at all.

Sylus doesn’t understand Xavier either. He knows there’s no changing your mind once you’ve made it up. You wouldn’t have asked for the three of you to all sleep in one bed if you hadn’t already thought about the weight of the situation, and you wouldn’t have invited either of them into bed at all if you didn’t care about them both tremendously. Of course, Sylus has his own opinions on the matter of sharing, but he knows he’s important enough to you that he doesn’t have to prove he deserves a place by your side, so he doesn’t understand why Xavier is fighting tooth and nail just for a scrap of your attention. He lets Xavier have you (for tonight, at least), just because he feels sorry for him. And he makes sure to enjoy his book immensely so as to set Xavier more on edge.

Sylus/Zayne

While neither Sylus or Zayne are too thrilled about having to share you, they’re both in agreement that neither of them are getting any sleep anyway (as work keeps them both up late), so they plant themselves on either side of you with their laptops and tablets (set to the lowest brightness settings so as not to disturb you) and proceed to busy themselves with their work.

Occasionally, Zayne will reach over to tuck your hair behind your ear and Sylus will reach over to brush his thumb across your cheek, or Zayne will tug the blankets around you tighter and Sylus will blow warm air on your icy hands, and for a moment, it seems like there might be a truce in place. Of course, they’d both like to be the only one on your mind, but it’s slightly less worrisome to know that if anything were to ever happen to them, you’d have someone else to look after you, someone that cared for you just as immensely.

Maybe it’s this unspoken truce that allows them both, once the exhaustion has seeped into their overworked bodies, to fall asleep peacefully by your side with no huss or fuss on either end. You simply get to sleep beside the two people who care for you the most.

Taglist: @pixelcafe-network @minasfwoopyponytail @ouiouimochi

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sinofwriting · 1 day ago

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Engineer in Law - Max Verstappen

Words: 1,758 Summary: Max and GP are far more close than most race engineers and drivers, which might have to do with the fact that Max is dating his daughter. Note(s): Takes place in 2021. Reader is GP’s daughter. Reader is 21, Max is 23. I don’t know what GP’s wife’s name is IRL but in this fic her name is Sarah. Also, reader is only given one physical descriptor which is that she has GP’s eyes, apologies if (like me) you don’t know have that eye color, but we can imagine and/or wish! This might end up getting a part two.

Masterlist | Support Me!

“You're happy.”

It’s not something GP normally comments on, Max’s moods. Not unless it’s to make a sarcastic comment about how thrilled he looks to be going to a press event or something of the sort, but Max is beaming like he just won a race. It’s an odd look on the young driver, an unusual one, sadly.

“I asked the girl I was seeing to be my girlfriend, she said yes.” Max’s voice is quiet and GP leans in, his eyebrows going up at the news, at the soft but excited tone the words hold.

He smiles at the younger, reaching forward and clasping him on the shoulder. “That’s fantastic, mate. Want to tell me about her?” It’s a rather stupid question because if Max didn’t want to talk about her, he wouldn’t have said anything. And GP is rather happy to sit here and listen to Max talk about this new girl in his life.

“She’s amazing, GP. I mean really smart, funny, and she never backs down. She always has a response to anything I say. And even if I’m in a bad mood, she doesn’t let me just sulk. She knows exactly how to get a response from me and she knows it. She’ll get this little smirk on her face after I snap back at her and she’s great.”

GP has to stop himself from clearing his throat at how head over heels in love Max looks. It was oddly like looking in a mirror when GP was just four years younger than him and seeing his wife holding their newborn daughter.

“I hope you're not snapping at her too much.” His dad mode is in full force, nearly shuddering as he thinks of his twenty-one year old daughter getting snapped at often by a boyfriend. He further shudders at the reminder she currently has a boyfriend.

“Not like that.” Max reassures. “It’s kind of like us in the simulator.”

GP lets out a laugh.

It wasn’t often he joined Max in the simulator but every time they did, other people would gather around to hear the pair mock argue with each other.

“Well I’m happy to hear she’s keeping you on your toes.”

—

Max is practically vibrating in his seat as he waits for GP to sit down.

“She planned a date.”

GP stills from where he was about to reach for his water.

“Like a whole date. From everything, the food, the drinks, what we watched and it was all stuff I liked and fit in my training plan.”

He watches the younger closely, hearing something off in his voice.

“I thought I missed something. Like an anniversary or something, even though we’ve only been together five months.”

GP eyes shut for a second, rage threatening to overtake him. Max was never treated kindly enough and Max had never really talked about his few previous relationships before and he can’t help but wonder if this is why. Because Max never felt truly happy in them. Always something just wrong, always on the edge.

“She just wanted to do something nice for me. Said it wasn’t fair, I had been planning most of our dates.” Max looks confused, but there’s a slight flush to his cheeks.

“Y’know, my wife and I trade off.”

Max tilts his head a little.

“I mean, we only do a date about once a month, but we trade off. I did the last one, so tomorrow, she’s planning our date. We used to do the same with vacations, but the whole thing stresses her out a little too much, so I plan them and get the travel plans sorted while she handles looking at things to do and places to go while we are there. It's a partnership, Max. It should be an equal give and take. And that doesn’t mean that it has to be you guys both are giving and taking the same thing equally, you just need to find the balance that works for you. Like you take out the trash, she does the dusting.”

“She has a dust allergy. And we aren’t living together yet.”

GP smiles, coughing to hide his laugh. “Yet, I see. And if she has a dust allergy she needs certain pillowcases and sheets, I’ll send you the ones I bought for my daughter last Christmas.”

“Thank you, GP.”

“I’m always here for you, Max.”

—

“You were out again.”

“Good morning to you as well, dad.” His daughter says, eyebrows raised even as she steps closer to press a quick kiss to his cheek before going to the fridge.

He glances at the clock, slightly miffed to see it is just after eleven am. “Closer to the afternoon.” He comments.

She signs, leaning against the counter, a Red Bull in hand, and he watches as her fingers play with the tab but not open it. It’s a habit he’s never seen from her before. “Dad,” He looks at her face at the sound. “Is me having a boyfriend bothering you that much?”

He softens a little. “No, well, yes. It’s just I don’t know anything about him. All I know is you have a boyfriend and that’s it. I don’t know his name, how old he is, what he does for a living, if he treats you well. And you're spending an awful lot of nights as his and I’ve never met him.”

Her fingers still against the can’s tab. “Is that something you want?”

“Well I’d prefer to meet him before you fully move in with him.” He gives her a look. “But yes, I would. He makes you happy.” It was a hard pill to swallow, the reason for his daughter seeming to be so happy being a boy, but that was the reason.

“Alright, I’ll text him and maybe tomorrow we could do lunch?” She offers.

“I’d like that.”

—

“I’ve been listening to Max talk about our daughter for months.”

Sarah’s lips thin as she struggles not to laugh, running a soothing hand over her husband’s back. “You said it was sweet how he talked about her.”

“Well, I didn’t know he was talking about our daughter then did I?”

His head somehow manages to drop further into his hands. “He talked for thirty minutes straight about her eyes. Her eyes, Sarah. She has MY eyes.”

Sarah can’t help the laugh that spills from her lips. “Well at least it was just her eyes you heard about.”

GP’s face screws up at that remembering the hickey he had seen high on Max’s neck last week and apparently he had some interesting scratch and bite marks as well. Those thankfully he had not seen. “Please, love, put me out of my misery.”

His hands fall into his lap and he presses his face against his wife’s neck, smelling the slightly faded scent of her perfume and her lotion.

“Oh hush.” She says, lightly swatting his shoulder. “It could be much worse. You like Max, you know Max. He’d never hurt our baby.”

GP softens, pressing a kiss to her neck before sitting straight, his back thanking him for it. “No, he wouldn’t. I just,” He sighs. “This is serious for Max and it’s obviously serious for her. She’s never invited a boy around the house that she’s been seeing. When she said lunch, I thought she had booked our usual table.”

“I know. You were all ready to go, wallet and keys in hand.”

“She let me think that as well you know.”

Sarah hums, “I wonder who she got that from.”

He smiles at her. “No clue, love.”

Her eyes give a slight roll and then she’s leaning forward. Brushing their lips together. “Max is good for her and it’s obvious that she is good for Max as well with what you’ve told me. And just think you always joked that Max was like a son. Now it’s just more official.”

“Oh my god, they’re going to get married.”

Sarah laughs at the horror and awe in her husband's voice. “I’d say don’t get ahead of yourself, but you saw exactly what I did at lunch.”

—

“Max, if you talk about my eyes one more time, I’m going to report you to HR.”

Max snickers at the older’s expression. “But, I’m not talking about your eyes.”

“She has my eyes.” GP cuts him off immediately, already knowing his defense. “We have the same exact eyes.” He holds up a finger, silencing Max. “And don’t even think of starting to list the difference between them.”

He kicks a little at the ground, faking a sigh. “Fine. Can we at least talk about you talking in the braking?”

GP sighs, but nods. “Yes, we can talk about it.”

They both fail to notice the Sky Sports camera that had been filming the conversation until much later, when Max is sitting in his driver’s room, chuckling at the broadcast that had just ended and the tweets on his phone.

“Listen to this one, Sky Sports seriously reporting that a female employee is threatening to go to HR because of Max’s comments while playing the video of audio of GP, his MALE race engineer, is seemingly joking about going to HR, is sending me. How is this a serious news source?”

GP snorts, looking at his texts with his daughter. “She just sent me this one, ‘Sky is doing nothing but proving their British bias and stupidity. How much do you think they suck Lewis’ dick for every year now?’ Honestly, they have a point.”

“More than a point.” Max says, tossing his phone to the side. “It’s one thing to say I’m a shit driver that shouldn’t be anywhere near Hamilton, but this? This is ridiculous even for them. They have the footage and audio, aired both, and are saying that it’s a female employee. Vicky is having the time of her life right now, and so are my lawyers.”

“Your lawyers?”

Max shrugs. “They’ll be working with Red Bull’s as well, but this is more than that.”

“It is.” GP agrees. “Sarah was with her when it aired. She was livid.”

“I could tell.” The driver chuckles. “My texts are filled with it. She wants to come to the next race, well, two.”

“Team home race. That’s a statement.”

His cheeks are a little pink. “She wanted to wait for Zandvoort to officially come as my girlfriend, but she wants to be with me for these next two now.”

“It will be nice to see her at both.”

#max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #sins fics

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tbaluver · 16 hours ago

Note

hihi !! ^-^ I hope you’re doing great! I want to see your take on how the lads men would react when they’re lovemaking and you fall asleep and they realize the condom broke what do you think ?? take your time !! ❤️

The Condom Broke- The Love And DeepSpace Men

parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader, Caleb x Reader genre: smut, suggestive a/n: hihi anonnie! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ i hope you're doing well too! apologies for posting late hopefully ill post more this week! i hope this was alright and that you enjoy reading! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

tags: mentioning of backshots

you were both utterly tired. just minutes ago, the room had been filled with ragged breaths and tangled limbs, your bodies moving with desperate need for each other. now, the adrenaline has faded.

he watched how your breathing grew slower, your body sinking deeper into the mattress. your eyes fluttered shut a while ago and he could tell by the way your chest rose and fell that you’d surrender into sleep.

xavier’s eyes were heavy, his body aching to rest, but he knew he couldn’t sleep just yet—not without cleaning you up first. as he moved carefully to not wake you, something caught his eye. a small tear on the rubber material.

a quiet frustrated sigh leaves his lips. of course. what did he expect when your arousal stains the length of his cock. his cock hits deeper and deeper with each stroke and your cunt grips on his cock so tightly like it wants to keep him inside forever. the way your arms are shaking like jelly and how your words are muffled against the pillow only spur him on more. he can’t get enough of you and your sweet little cunt.

his heart sank a little. a quiet sigh slipped out, more tired than frustrated. he should’ve noticed earlier.

he says nothing, simply tending to you first with slow and gentle hands, wiping you clean as you sleep soundly. he pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder then to your lips. he makes a silent promise as he watches you sleep. tomorrow, he’ll be up before you. first thing in the morning, he’ll be out the door, making sure he gets the pill before you even have to worry or wake up. it’s his responsibility and he’s not going to let you face it alone.

Zayne:

tags: mentioning of p in v

zayne sighs, his eyes closed shut for a moment in annoyance when he catches the tear in the rubber material as he pulls out. perhaps he did go a little overboard tonight.

it’s been too long—days turning into nights, and both of you pulled in opposite directions because of conflicting schedules. so when you finally came back to each other’s arms, it was desperate and intense.

he kisses you hungirly, open-mouthed. you gasp, taking in his tongue as it dances with yours. your eyes roll in the back of your head as he thrusts into you deeply and impatiently. the bed starts to creak at his strokes, desperate to feel more of you.

luckily, zayne had prepared for moments like this. he quickly disposes of the used rubber before heading to the bathroom to grab the birth control pill he keeps on hand- just in case times like this happens. after pouring a glass of water he returns to the bedroom, kneeling beside the bed.

“my love,” he whispers, cradling your cheek, “can you wake up for just a moment?”

you stir, your lashes fluttering open to meet his gaze-warm and apologetic. “i may have..gone a little overboard tonight,” he murmurs awardly, holding out the pill and glass of water. “i’m sorry. are you alright?”

you take the hint and give a sleepy nod, taking the pill before downing the water. he stays close, wiping you down. “i didn’t expect to miss you this much,” he murmurs, quietly.

Rafayel:

tags: mentioning of p in v

he holds the broken rubber in the palm of his hands, a look of horror on his face. what did he do? the question haunts him in his head. a mix of ‘she’s going to kill me’ and ‘it’s my fault’ follow his mind as well.

his mind was so foggy as you slowly sank further down on his cock. you were so warm, so soft. your weeping cunt wrapped around him so heavenly that he thinks he might just see his lemurian ancestors early.

rafayel continues to babble incoherent words as your walls clench around his pretty cock, the tip of his cock rubbing deliciously at your sweet spot. you both know that you were so close once he saw your hips falter in keeping pace. his pretty hands grab your ass, helping you move up and down his length as both your breathless babbling echo off the walls.

“cutie..” he whispers, gently patting you, trying to coax you awake. “cutie—i..uhm..”his voice falters as you blink at him sleepily. he glances down at the torn rubber in his hand, then back at you with wide, apologetic eyes.

“i’m so sorry. what can i do?” the words tumble out of his lips quickly. “i can run to the pharmacy, okay? just tell me what you need. you can stay here—i’ll be quick. i promise imsososososorry.” despite how fast he speaks, you understand him. the guilt is written all over his face.

when he returns, he brings you a glass of water and carefully hands you the pill. there’s still guilt etched on his face but you reach for him, gently reassuring him that you’re okay. he nods even though he’s not sure he deserves the comfort. that night, when you curl into his chest, he holds you just a little tighter.

Sylus:

tags: mentioning of p in v

ah. sylus won’t lie—he definitely saw this coming. a part of him always knew it might happen eventually. even a high end, top-rated brand can only handle so much. he knew his size can push the limits.

but the way you pleaded breathlessly, begging him to go harder, deeper—how could he possibly deny you?

you were gasping for air from how his ruthless cock pistoned in and out of your pussy. waves of pleasure flow over your entire body as you find yourself stretched in a way you didn’t think was possible. your fingers or any toy could possibly match up to his.

the tip of his cock repeatedly prods at your sweet spot while you wrap your legs around his waist. you feel so impossibly full from his entire length that your nails rake down his forearms that will for sure leave marks the morning after.

still, he wished he had caught it sooner—while you were still awake. he checked the time on his phone. it’s late. the shops are well closed by now but luckily sleep doesn’t come easily to him during the night. carefully, he shifts to clean you up— his hands gently wiping you clean.

once you were settled, his arms find their way back around you, pulling you in until your head rest over his heart. he stays like this for a while, watching the slow, steady rise and fall of your chest as you sleep. he doesn’t move, not yet. he waits, counting down the minutes until the pharmacy opens. when the time comes, he plans to ease himself out from under your sleeping form, careful not to wake you. by the time your eyes flutter open, he’ll already be back as if he never left at all.

Caleb:

tags: mentioning of p in v

caleb sighs as his eyes fall on the tear in the rubber, a quiet curse falls under his breath. he glances back at you, fast asleep—so beautiful. a small smile tugs at his lips, but it fades quickly.

he knows this is on him. he’d let himself get carried away tonight—too caught up in the way you were squeezing him so well that made him forget everything else but wanting more of you.

the sound of both your breathless babbling bounces off the walls. his fingertips dig into your thighs as he ruts into your tight cunt in desperation. both of you barely catch any of your words, both your minds turning into static every time his cock hits against your sweet spot. a guttural groan escapes him when your velvety walls flutter and- no.

he shakes his head, he can’t get hard again. he has to get the morning after pill quickly.

he slips on his clothes quickly but before he leaves, he returns to your side. his hand gently rests on your head as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. carefully, he tucks you in, making sure you are warm and content. then, he heads out the door, carrying a promise that he’ll be back soon before you even know it.

ʚɞ cr. for the dividers @/ cafekitsune

ʚɞ thank you to my lovely beta reader @ilovemitsuya MWAH (˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶)

ʚɞ 𝘕𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯:

ʚɞ my other works if you want to check it out! The Love And DeepSpace Masterlist, Pg. 2

ʚɞ Others:

Wattpad

Twitter ( but like i barely know how to use it )

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inseobts · 3 days ago

Text

A Swordsman’s Resolve

zoro x reader

when you awaken a new power that lets you take others' pain as your own, you begin secretly protecting the strawhat crew—until zoro finds out and decide to train you to grow stronger without relying on your gift.

words count: 3.1k

warning: reader is like a voodoo doll so self harm, blood and injuries are mentioned for the fights

tags: injuries, fluff, a bit angst maybe, training with zoro

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

You ate a Devil Fruit when you were a kid, and got a strange ability that let you use your own pain as a weapon.

If you stabbed yourself, your enemy would feel the wound instead. A direct exchange. Pain for pain.

It wasn’t perfect. The more damage you took, the weaker you got. Sure, you healed faster than the one you hurt, but it still hurt like hell.

And if you pushed too hard you wouldn’t heal as fast as your usual.

Still, it was useful. You used it to protect the crew, especially during battle. If someone was about to get hit, you’d cut yourself transferring the damage to the enemy instead to stop them.

Painful? Yes. Worth it? Always.

But then, something changed.

It happened a few weeks ago.

The battle had been rough, but the crew had won. You stood on the Sunny’s deck, covered in sweat and blood, catching your breath.

Across from you, Luffy was clutching his side waiting for Chopper to finish patch someone else.

“Oi, you okay?” you asked, stepping closer.

Luffy grinned, but it was weaker than usual “Yeah! Just a little cut.”

A little cut was Luffy speak for ‘I’m actually bleeding a lot, but don’t worry about it.’

You frowned, crouching beside him. His shirt was torn, revealing a deep gash along his ribs. It wasn’t fatal, but it didn’t look good either.

Without thinking, you pressed your fingers over the wound and then a sharp, searing pain shot through your own ribs.

Your breath caught as you felt the wound disappear from Luffy’s body… and appear on yours.

Luffy blinked, confused.

“Huh? It stopped hurting!” He poked his side, then looked at you “…Wait, why do you look like you’re in pain now?”

You gritted your teeth, trying not to hiss “No reason.”

Luffy tilted his head “Did you just—”

“Shut up,” you muttered, standing up quickly “I said it’s nothing.”

Luffy’s eyes narrowed “Did you just steal my injury?”

You froze “…No.”

“Yes, you did!” His expression lit up like a kid discovering a new game “That’s so cool! Can you do it again?”

You groaned “It’s not cool, Luffy.”

But he was already poking at his arm “What if I get a cut here—can you take it?”

“Luffy.”

“What if I break a bone?”

“LUFFY.”

He pouted “What? It’s a fair question!”

You sighed, rubbing your temples “Look. I didn’t even know I could do this until now. It just… happened.”

Luffy blinked, processing.

Then, to your absolute horror, he grinned “That means you can heal everyone! You heal faster so it must be already gone..”

Your stomach dropped “No. It actually hurts. A lot more than my usual power.” You crossed your arms “Seems like it takes longer for me to heal. It’s not some magical fix.”

Luffy hummed “Mh then I'd say you don't use that anymore... but you’d still do it, right? I know you”

You hesitated.

Of course, you would. If it meant protecting the crew.

But before you could answer, Sanji’s voice rang out from the kitchen “Dinner’s ready!”

Luffy immediately forgot everything and ran inside, laughing.

You exhaled. Crisis averted.

For now.

Because if Luffy knew then it was only a matter of time before someone else found out.

You keep your secret safe for weeks! Apparently Luffy forgot...

At first, it’s easy. You start small, taking tiny injuries from the crew when no one’s looking. A scraped knee here, a bruised knuckle there. Nothing big.

No one notices.

But then the fights get tougher.

The New World isn’t kind. Enemies get stronger, battles last longer. The crew starts walking away from fights with barely any wounds. But you start feeling it.

The constant ache in your bones, the sharp sting of deep cuts that aren’t healing fast enough. But you push through it, hide it well.

Or at least, you think you do.

Until Zoro catches you.

It happens after a particularly brutal fight.

The crew had just finished raiding a marine base. Nothing too crazy, but the enemies had been tough.

You stand on the deck of the Sunny, bandaging your arm. Another wound you had taken from Usopp. He had been hit bad, you hadn’t even thought before reaching for him, absorbing the injury.

Now, you regret it. This one hurts.

“You’re doing it again.”

You freeze.

Zoro’s voice is sharp, too sharp. When you turn, he’s standing near the railing, arms crossed, eyes locked onto you.

You force a smile “Doing what?”

His expression darkens “Don’t play dumb.”

Your stomach twists.

“Taking our damn injuries” he says flatly.

Your grip tightens on the bandages “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Zoro steps closer “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not—”

Before you can finish, he moves. Too fast.

One second, he’s in front of you. The next, he’s grabbing your wrist forcing your hand away from your bandages.

Your breath catches.

His eyes drop to your arm.

To the wound that wasn’t there before the fight ended.

His jaw tightens “So that’s how we’ve been walking away without a scratch.”

You yank your hand back “It’s not a big deal.”

“The hell it isn’t!” His voice is low, but angry “You’re hurting yourself for us.”

You glare “I’ve always done that.”

“Not like this.”

“It’s the same thing!” You step closer, frustration bubbling up “I take pain to protect the crew, that’s what I’ve always done!”

Zoro’s expression hardens “You’re not protecting us. You’re making yourself weaker.”

You scoff “Oh, so I’m the weak one now?”

“Yes.”

The answer is immediate.

Your breath catches.

Zoro exhales, rubbing a hand down his face. When he speaks again, his voice is quieter.

“You rely on this power too much.” He shakes his head “What happens when you take too much? When your body can’t keep up?”

You look away.

He notices.

His voice drops lower “You don’t know, do you?”

You swallow hard.

Zoro sighs. When he speaks again, there’s no anger. Just frustration.

“You can’t keep fighting like this.” His gaze locks onto yours “Train with me.”

You blink “…What?”

“Train with me,” he repeats “You want to protect the crew? Then get strong yourself. Not through your Devil Fruit. You.”

You hesitate.

This is Zoro. The most stubborn, relentless, brutal fighter on the crew.

But deep down, you know he’s right.

You exhale “…Fine.”

A smirk tugs at his lips “You’re gonna regret that.”

Training with Zoro is hell.

You expect it to be hard, Zoro is one of the strongest swordsmen, after all. But you don’t expect him to be this relentless.

“You call that a punch?” he scoffs, blocking your attack with one arm “I’ve seen Chopper hit harder.”

You grit your teeth “I don’t need to be strong like you. I have my Devil Fruit.”

Zoro’s expression darkens “That’s the problem.”

Before you can react, he moves, sweeping your legs out from under you. You hit the ground hard.

Pain explodes through your body, but you refuse to transfer it away.

Zoro stands over you, arms crossed “If you lost your powers tomorrow, could you still protect the crew?”

You don’t answer because you don’t know, and Zoro sees it.

He sighs, holding out a hand “Get up.”

You glare at him, but take his hand anyway. He pulls you to your feet with zero effort.

“We’re doing that again” he says.

You groan “You just knocked me on my ass.”

“Then stop letting me.”

Over the next few weeks, something shifts.

Training with Zoro is brutal, but you keep up. You stop relying on your Devil Fruit in fights. You block, dodge, counter without using your power as a crutch.

And Zoro watches you closely.

At first, you think it’s just him being a tough mentor. But it’s not just that.

Because sometimes, when you push yourself too far, his frustration turns to something like worry.

You don’t question it. Not until the day everything changes.

The crew is ambushed on an island.

It’s not the worst fight you’ve had, but it’s bad enough. The enemy captain is strong, and before you know it Zoro takes a hit.

A deep slash across his chest. Blood spills onto the ground.

Your body moves before your brain does. You reach for him.

Pain floods your body as the wound transfers to you. Your knees buckle, breath hitching but Zoro catches you immediately.

“The hell do you think you’re doing?” he snaps, eyes blazing.

You grit your teeth “Saving your life, dumbass.”

“I didn’t ask you to!”

“You didn’t have to!”

Zoro scowls. He grips your shoulders, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“You can’t just take pain like it’s nothing,” he growls “You think it doesn’t matter?”

You glare back “It doesn’t.”

“It does.”

His voice is low. Firm.

Your chest tightens “You wouldn’t get it.”

His grip tightens “I do get it.”

You freeze.

Because there’s something in his eyes, something familiar... and then, you remember.

You were awake when the Rumble Ball incident happened. The damage Luffy took at Thriller Bark. The moment Zoro stood covered in blood, refusing to say what happened.

And suddenly, it all makes sense.

Your breath catches “You took Luffy’s pain back then.”

Zoro’s jaw clenches.

You stare at him and his gaze softens. Just for a second.

Then he looks away “It doesn’t matter.”

But it does. Because now, you understand you and Zoro are the same.

You both take pain so the crew doesn’t have to.

But Zoro never let it break him.

And maybe that’s why he’s so angry now. Because he sees you going down the same path. And he doesn’t want that for you.

You swallow hard “…Zoro.”

His eyes flicker back to you.

For a moment, neither of you speak.

Then his voice is quieter “Don’t do that again.”

Your fingers curl into fists “I can’t promise that.”

Zoro exhales sharply “Then I’ll just have to stop you again.”

Your heart pounds.

Because the way he says it, it’s not just a threat. It’s a promise.

You and Zoro don’t talk about what happened.

Not at first.

The crew is too busy celebrating the win. Luffy’s laughing, Usopp’s boasting about some made-up feat, and Sanji’s grilling enough food to feed an army.

But Zoro stays quiet.

And you pretend your body isn’t aching from taking his wound. You pretend Zoro’s eyes aren’t constantly on you.

But you feel the way he watches you. The way his jaw tightens every time you wince.

And then, late that night, when the crew is asleep, he finally snaps.

You’re on the deck, staring at the sea, when you hear heavy footsteps.

Zoro stops beside you, arms crossed.

You sigh “Here to scold me again?”

“Tch.” He leans against the railing “Don’t act like you didn’t deserve it.”

You roll your eyes “I saved your life.”

“I wasn’t dying.”

“You were bleeding everywhere.”

Zoro gives you a pointed look “So were you.”

You open your mouth, then close it. Because he’s right.

You shift uncomfortably “I can handle it.”

Zoro scoffs “That’s what I said back then.”

You glance at him “What?”

His gaze darkens “It almost got myself killed.”

You’re confused but you don’t need the details to understand. Silence stretches between you.

Zoro sighs, rubbing his neck “I know why you do it. But you’re an idiot if you think you can keep this up forever.”

Your fingers tighten on the railing “…So what do I do? Stand there watching everyone getting hurt when I know I can do something about it?”

Zoro exhales sharply “Just let me help you.”

Your breath catches.

Because it’s not a demand. Not a command. It’s an offer.

You swallow hard “I don’t need—”

“Don’t start.”

You blink.

Zoro turns to you fully, expression serious “You need to stop acting like you’re alone in this.”

Your chest tightens.

Zoro doesn’t do speeches. He doesn’t waste words.

So if he’s saying this…

He means it.

“…Okay.” you murmur.

Zoro raises an eyebrow “Okay?”

You roll your eyes “Yeah, okay. I’ll let you help me. Happy?”

He smirks “Ecstatic.”

You laugh, shaking your head “Asshole.”

His smirk widens “You love it.”

Your heart stumbles.

Because he says it too casually. Like it’s obvious. Like it’s true.

You look away “Shut up.”

Zoro just chuckles. And somehow the weight on your shoulders feels lighter.

Training with Zoro doesn’t get easier.

If anything, it gets harder.

Every day, he pushes you past your limits, forcing you to fight without using your Devil Fruit, making you stronger on your own. You hate him for it, but you also hate that it works.

Your body stops aching as much. Your reactions get faster. Your movements sharper.

And Zoro never stops watching you. But you ignore that.

Until the day everything falls apart.

The training session is brutal.

Zoro blocks every attack with zero effort. He moves too fast, dodging your punches like they’re nothing.

You’re tired. Frustrated.

So when he steps in close, you react on instinct.

You try to sweep his legs, but he sidesteps, and suddenly, you’re off balance and before you can stop it, you crash into him.

Zoro grunts as you both hit the ground, hard.

And just then you realize where you landed.

Your body is on top of his. Your hands are on his chest. His very solid, very warm chest.

And Zoro is just staring at you.

His breath is warm against your skin. His hands rest lightly on your waist, like he’s not sure whether to hold you or let go.

Your heart pounds.

Neither of you move.

Neither of you speak.

And then, without thinking, you kiss him.

It’s quick. A fleeting brush of lips. But it’s enough. Because for a split second, Zoro freezes. His grip on your waist tightens as his breath catches. And that’s when it hits you.

What the hell did I just do?!

Panic floods your chest.

You pull away. Scramble to your feet.

Zoro sits up instantly, eyes wide “Wait!”

But you don’t. You turn and run.

Because holy shit, you just kissed Zoro and you don’t know if he wanted you to.

You avoid him after that.

It’s stupid. You know it’s stupid.

But every time you see him, you hear his sharp inhale. Feel his hands tightening on your waist. See the shock in his eyes.

And you can’t face that.

So you just... don’t.

You dodge his training sessions. You sit as far from him as possible during meals. When he walks into a room, you walk out.

The crew notices.

Luffy is confused. Nami is amused. Usopp keeps giving you looks.

And Zoro is pissed, because he might be shy, but he isn’t dumb. And you’re not subtle.

So after three days of this he corners you. And you realize, too late that you’re screwed.

You’re about to slip away again when you feel that familiar, heavy stare.

You freeze.

And before you can react a strong hand grips your wrist. You spin around.

Zoro stands there, arms crossed, brow furrowed. His eyes lock onto yours with an intensity that makes your stomach flip.

“You,” he says, voice low, “are avoiding me.”

You swallow “No, I’m not.”

Zoro raises an eyebrow.

You try again “I’m just... busy.”

His jaw clenches “Bullshit.”

You flinch because Zoro never calls you out like this.

You pull your wrist free, looking away “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Zoro exhales sharply and then “Is it because of the kiss?”

Your stomach drops.

Your entire body tenses.

You should have known he’d bring it up.

But hearing him say it out loud... you can’t breathe.

“I—” Your voice catches “I didn’t mean to—”

Zoro steps closer “Didn’t mean to what?”

You step back “Forget it.”

“No.” His eyes darken “I won’t.”

You clench your fists “Just drop it, Zoro.”

His hand catches your chin. Gently.

Your breath hitches.

“I’m not dropping shit,” he murmurs “You kissed me. Then you ran. Now you won’t even look at me.”

You force yourself to meet his gaze.

And fuck, he looks serious.

Your heart pounds.

“I thought…” You swallow hard “I thought you didn’t want me to.”

Zoro stares.

Then he curses under his breath, and before you can react his hand cups your face and he kisses you.

Not soft. Not hesitant.

But actually firm and certain. Like he’s making a point.

Like he’s saying “You’re an idiot if you think I didn’t want this.”

Your brain short-circuits.

Your hands fist in his shirt. You kiss him back desperate, dizzy.

His arms lock around you, because now that he has you he’s not letting go.

Zoro’s kiss is rough, unyielding.

Like he’s making up for lost time. Like he’s claiming something he should’ve had all along.

You barely have time to breathe.

His hand tightens at the nape of your neck, tilting your head just right, deepening the kiss until your knees threaten to give out.

You clutch at his shirt, gripping the fabric like it’s the only thing keeping you standing, and maybe it is.

When you finally pull away, gasping, your head feels light, hazy.

Zoro doesn’t let go.

His forehead presses against yours. His breathing is uneven and when he speaks his voice is low, rough “Still think I didn’t want it?”

You shudder.

Your fingers tighten on his chest.

“…No.”

His lips curve “Good.”

The crew finds out immediately. Not because you tell them, but because, apparently, you’re both terrible at hiding it.

The next morning, you walk into the kitchen and the entire crew is staring at you.

You freeze.

“…What?”

Sanji smirks, leaning against the counter “So…you and the mosshead, huh?”

Your stomach drops.

Nami hums, sipping her coffee “Took you long enough.”

Usopp grins “You guys weren’t exactly subtle.”

Your face burns “I—I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Luffy just tilts his head “Zoro was smiling this morning.”

You blink “So?”

Luffy grins “Zoro never smiles like that.”

Your mouth opens and then you hear the sound of approaching footsteps.

You turn and there he is.

Zoro strides in, yawning. He looks relaxed, more than usual, like he actually slept well for once.

Then his gaze lands on you.

And without hesitation he reaches out, grabs your wrist, and pulls you into his side casually, like it’s natural, like he’s done it a million times.

And when he notices the crew watching he just raises an eyebrow “…What?”

Silence.

Then Sanji groans “Oh, great. Now he’s even more unbearable.”

Nami just smirks “About damn time.”

Usopp whispers something about losing a bet.

And Luffy just laughs “Shishishi! You two are weird.”

Zoro just grunts “Tch. Whatever.”

But you see the way his fingers linger against your skin. The way his shoulders relax just slightly when you don’t pull away.

526 notes · View notes

wwinterwitch · 2 days ago

Text

friendly banter — bucky barnes

summary: sam asks for your help on a mission. you're reunited with him, Joaquín and Bucky. the last one really likes to banter. you think it's just a friendly exchange. it's actually a bit more than that

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader (+ platonic friendships with sam and joaquín)

word count: 5k

tags: friends to lovers, sharing feelings (awkward but cute), reader is a hacker and former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, fluff, undisclosed feelings (mutual), kissing

note: this was kind of a mess but i'm back after a long time on not writing any fics! i'm currently in my last months of studying to become a lawyer (yay) and writing fics has proven to be very therapeutic during this time. this may or may not suck but i enjoyed writing it so i hope you enjoy it

please reblog and/or comment if you enjoy!

all masterlists | marvel masterlist | part 2 (features the thunderbolts* now)

"Got eyes on it?"

You stop walking as soon as you hear that question, staring ahead in disbelief. "You mean...the huge panel in the middle of the room?" you ask with obvious sarcasm, trying to speak as quietly as possible through your comm as you make your way further inside the darkened room.

It’s a typical security room with tons of cameras pointing to every corner of the building. To your relief, the presence of your group is apparently still unnoticed as your eyes wander across the various screens in front of you, noticing no commotion or an unnecessarily large group of unfriendly-looking guys rushing to find you. The large panel control installed in the middle of the desk before you is the thing that immediately gets your attention as you walk closer, always keeping in mind the task at hand.

All you really have to do is hack into the system to disable the security protocols long enough for Sam and Joaquín to sneak into the top floors of the building to retrieve the data that they wanted from the bad guy's records in order to find out more about the gang they'll be (hopefully) putting behind bars soon.

This is not the first and definitely not the last time you'll be doing these kinds of favors for Sam. Your friendship goes way back, when you were still a nobody at S.H.I.E.L.D. that somehow managed to get on Captain America's good graces after that whole Washington fiasco. You're still unsure why Steve always thought so highly of you. Then again, he was the type of guy who never failed to see the potential in other people, even when they couldn't quite see it themselves.

Now, you get to help the new Captain America, who's also as dear to you as the previous one was...perhaps just a tiny bit more annoying, but one of your dearest friends regardless.

As you rush over to the panel, you have to jump over the unconscious body of a security guard that Bucky (another dear friend you met thanks to Steve) took care of before you walked inside, quickly taking a seat in front of the large keyboard to start doing your part of the job.

You hear the unmistakable chuckle from Joaquín as you quickly type in a series of codes and commands. "Jeez, I missed having you on our missions!"

"Awwh!" you mutter with genuine endearment. "I missed being part of these missions too, buddy!"

"And we're still going out for drinks after this, right?"

"Are you genuinely asking me that, Joaquín Torres?" you ask, sounding overly offended on purpose.

You hear him laugh again, but before he can say anything back, you hear Bucky interrupting the exchange. "How about we focus on not getting caught here and then you guys can discuss your night plans?"

"Uh-oh, old man got upset," you joke soon after, finishing to type in the last few codes to fully disable the security system. Surely they have some backup protocol that would soon trigger the alarm to alert these guys of an unwanted visitor, but by then all of you will be long gone. It really is a very simple mission.

"He's jealous you're not taking him out for drinks," Sam jokes back, and then you immediately hear Joaquín agreeing with him.

It's a normal occurrence for Sam to be making those kinds of jokes involving you and Bucky. He has been making those types of remarks for as long as you can remember, fully convinced the two of you "have something going on" as he has put it before. You really try not to think too much about it because, first off, Sam loves to say shit just for the sake of pissing you and Bucky off and, second...you really don't want to let those comments get to your head.

You don't want to let yourself wonder about the what if's of that. There was a time in your life when you did allow yourself to fantasize about the possibility of actually "having something going on" with him, but you learnt to shut off that part of your brain in order to avoid getting your hopes up regarding a situation that just wouldn't happen outside your imagination. Hearing Sam’s silly remarks would only bring you back to those days.

Bucky has been one of your best friends for years and he has never shown the slightest of hints that he might be interested in you in the way you would like (at least not that you're aware of), and there was absolutely no way that you would ever make the first move and risk embarrassing yourself in front of him or, even worse, losing the friendship you two have. You eventually just got comfortable in the abyss of eternal friendzone and learned to accept it. If there was ever going to happen something between the two of you, surely it would've happened by now.

Still, Sam seems to be holding onto that rope for dear life and refuses to let it go. You can't deny it’s a bit uncomfortable to hear those jokes though. They somehow make you feel like somehow you got caught and everyone knows you have a secret crush on Bucky, but you've learned to adapt over the years.

"First part's done.” Leaning back on the chair, you watch the percentage bar on the screen before you, completely ignoring Sam's little joke. "A few more seconds and you're up guys!"

"Hallway’s clear," you hear Bucky say, still guarding the room where you're currently in. "How much time do we have to get out of here?"

"Uh...I can't say for sure. Anywhere near five to thirty, maybe?"

"Minutes?"

"Seconds."

"Oh, great," he mutters ironically.

"Well, I'm sorry. We're hacking into a very sophisticated system that I don't entirely know how it works!" you snap back at him. "Besides, the whole point of this is to give Joaquín and Sam enough time to sneak inside without having to deal with a bunch of guards going straight for them. Bad guys will know we're down here and they'll come looking for us first."

"Isn't hacking your whole thing? How do you not know how it works?" he asks, and just by the tone of his voice you know he's trying to piss you off, because he knows that's exactly the type of comments that would make you upset. If that type of comment came from a stranger you would be strangling them right now, but it’s Bucky, and he seems to enjoy annoying the shit out of you.

"Big talk coming from someone who still asks for my help because he barely knows how to unlock his own phone."

The sound of his faint chuckle immediately makes you smile, perfectly picturing the way he's probably rolling his eyes just barely right now, trying to suppress a smirk as if you could possibly see him right now, knowing he hates when you point it out to him.

"You have to give me some credit, though. I know how to program emails on that thing now. Soon enough I'll be taking your job, so you better watch out."

You can't help but laugh at his reply, slightly shaking your head as you realize you’re getting distracted by him, trying to keep your focus on what you're supposed to be doing right now rather than indulge in a never ending back-and-forth with him. As soon as you type the last codes and the large SECURITY SYSTEM: DISABLED alert pops on the monitor, you quickly rise up from your seat. "You're up guys, hurry!"

"On it!" Sam replies as you rush outside the room.

Before he even says anything to you, Bucky is quickly guiding you down the hallway with the intent of getting out of there as soon as possible, turning to look at you with a confused expression when you stop walking and, instead, start yanking his arm to go in the opposite direction.

"What are you doing?"

"The exit is that way," you point out as if it’s obvious.

He looks even more confused now, and slightly annoyed. "Don't think so. That's the way we entered, but there's another way of leaving this place a lot faster."

"No, we can't change the plan!"

He definitely looks annoyed now, trying not to snap at you. "I'm not changing the plan. Exiting that way has always been the plan. If we go that way, we'll-"

Before he can say anything else, the loud sound of an alarm blasts through the entire building, signaling that you've been discovered and you'll be having company very soon. As if that wasn't enough, the door of the room you were previously in opens violently, and the guard that was previously unconscious on the floor is frantically alerting more people through his radio.

“Oh, that’s great,” you point out, slightly panicking right now because you’re still inside the building. “You decided to wake up early, huh?”

Bucky immediately grabs the guy by his bulletproof vest to throw him against the wall, taking his barely regained consciousness to his advantage. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice about six other guys coming towards you, turning around the same corner you wanted to run towards as part of your escape plan. Sadly, that's when you realized maybe the direction Bucky was suggesting was better.

You’re unsure of what to do now. It's not like you haven't been taught how to take down a few bad guys, but your specialities have always involved computers rather than physical combat. Almost as if he could read your mind, Bucky turns towards you for a quick second. "Go! I'll catch up to you." Again, almost as if he knew that you'd try to ask if he was sure about it, he immediately shouts yet another "Go!" before you're finally deciding to do as he says, running down the hall in the direction he has intended to go before.

Hours later, second after second that passes by, you’re more and more convinced that you'll never hear the end of it. If only you could go back in time and just agree with Bucky's plan rather than trying to argue with him. It would have spared you a lifetime of him reminding you how he was right and you were wrong.

Turns out his exit plan was the one you should've followed all along, because it actually led to the engine room which immediately meant being in a much less crowded part of the building to escape without risking bumping into more people.

All of you had enough time to change into something more comfortable to go out for drinks. Initially it was something you and Joaquín had planned alone, but evidently the two of you didn’t hesitate to invite Sam and Bucky. Of course they accepted the invite, and of course Bucky has done his very best to keep reminding you of your little mistake.

"Listen, if you don't want shit like that to happen again, just let me know your plan beforehand."

"But I did let you know. The problem is that someone is not really a good listener."

"No. Letting me know- like, properly letting me know, would've been telling me before we got inside that building."

Bucky smirks as he leans back on his chair, and it's obvious to you he's really enjoying this banter. "Plan changed at the last minute. If you would've just followed my lead, we could've left that building a lot faster."

"Ah, so you do recognize that wasn't the original plan!" you exclaim with a triumphant grin, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "You changed it all by yourself and didn't tell me."

"Changed at the last minute," he repeats, as if to correct you. "You wanted me to stand there and explain every detail to you?"

"Oh, as if explaining it would've taken you hours! You’re always so dramatic."

"Children," Sam commented, interrupting the banter with an unamused expression. "I had to trust the operation to literal children."

Bucky scoffs at that comment, watching as Sam lets out a chuckle, shaking his head after witnessing this whole interaction between the two of you.

"Kinda makes you appreciate having an actual professional around, huh?" Joaquín says right after, flashing a charming smile in Sam's direction.

"Oh, please!" you, Bucky and Sam reply in unison, earning an offended look from Joaquín.

Soon after, Bucky is speaking again. "You know what? I'll give you some credit. You managed to do your part of the job…decently."

It’s obvious he wants a reaction from you, but even if your banter is entertaining, you know you can't keep bickering the entire night. Once again, you can’t help but to feel embarrassed, as if everyone at that table knows your little secret regarding your feelings towards Bucky. As if some innocent banter between friends could ever give it away. Besides, the four of you are here to celebrate your mission was a success, and the fact that you haven't seen the trio in a long time makes it the perfect opportunity to catch up.

Pretending to fully ignore his last comment, you turn to look at Sam from across the table. "You. I haven't seen your lovely face in a while," you start, watching him physically get ready for whatever silly comment you might come up with. "Tell me what you've been up to...I've seen the photos of you shaking hands with the President," the reference to Everett Ross sounding anything but endearing.

Sam sighs, shrugging. "Yeah, well, I guess you can say it's part of the job," he simply replies before taking a quick sip of his beer. "I can't say I'm thrilled about it, but I figured it's best to compromise a bit and keep the man happy. As long as he stays in line, I'll cooperate."

"Of course you're not thrilled about it, Sam. That's the same guy that put your ass in a prison in the middle of nowhere like you were some kind of top security criminal!" you reply almost immediately, still in disbelief at the revelation of any sort of alliance between him and Ross. Sam's expression lets you know that even he is still conflicted about it, not really knowing what to say. After taking a brief pause, you try to say something else to lighten the mood, not wanting him to think like you’re judging him for it. "Hey, I understand having to keep up appearances. I get it. And please accept my deepest condolences for having to deal with that piece of shit."

Your last comment makes the three of them laugh, and Bucky takes the opportunity to change the subject. "And what have you been up to?" he asks, sounding genuinely curious. "It's been a while since any of us has seen you."

"Well, my life has been all over the place the last few months. As all of you know, I moved into a new apartment. I loved my roommate, but I felt it was time to just live by myself, you know?"

"So no plans of leaving New York to move to D.C., huh?" Joaquín asks with a smile.

You return the smile immediately. "As fun as it would be to live closer to all of you weirdos, no. I plan to stay in New York for now. I'm just really comfortable there with the new apartment, the promotion I got a few months ago, the fact that most of my family and friends are there..."

"But not all your friends," Sam quickly points out, pretending to sound incredibly offended by your last statement. "But since we’re talking about friends and just social life in general...are you still single?"

"Why are you always so interested in my love life?" you joke with a playful grin, taking a sip of your margarita to leave him wondering the answer just a few seconds more. "Yes, I'm still single. Queen's full of creeps," you added shortly after. "Are any of you seeing anybody?"

"Proudly and happily single," Joaquín replies, raising his drink up as if to cheer before taking a sip.

Sam gives him a very visible side-eye. "Yikes," is all he says regarding that, turning back to you. "I'm not interested in dating right now, to be honest. I’m quite a busy gentleman, you know?"

“And you say ‘yikes’ to me?” Joaquín says immediately after, looking dumbfounded.

You chime in before any of them could add anything else regarding that. “Bucky?” you ask, turning to look at him as you await his answer.

It was a bold move to directly ask him that question. On one hand, you know Bucky has always been a loner so you’re almost certain that he’s single. But there’s always that tiny percentage of probability that you’ll learn a truth you’re not sure how you’ll handle. He’s your best friend, of course you’ll be happy if he’s happy…but the idea of him revealing to you that he’s dating someone might actually make you physically sick.

You notice Bucky gets uncomfortable right away. “I’m single too.”

The pleasant feeling of relief lasts just a few seconds. The fact that Sam laughs at Bucky’s reply has your mind spinning, not understanding why he would laugh at that. Why the fuck is he laughing? Should you start panicking already?

"Actually, our buddy has been on a few dating apps, I believe."

Oh no.

Even when you try to remind yourself not to care about anything remotely romantic involving Bucky- or at least, not to care more than a platonic friend would, you can deny the news of him possibly dating someone or even just randomly talking to any person in those apps makes your stomach turn. It really wouldn't be dramatic to claim that you could quite literally throw up right now at the thought of him and someone else right now.

It's not common to hear any sort of updates regarding Bucky's love life because...well, there's never any developments. He's never shown interest in anyone, and as far as you know he's never had any sort of relationship with anyone like that– serious or casual. What if he's interested in exploring that part of his life now? What if he has found someone already and you're about to hear him talk all about them? It makes you genuinely sick, but you try your best to act as unbothered as you possibly can, forcing you to mask your disgust and heartbreak with pleasant surprise.

"Is that so?" is all you say.

He looks even more uncomfortable by the subject, choosing to look down at his almost finished beer. "It's not...I was just trying to put myself out there," he says awkwardly, shrugging. "Long story short, online dating is not for me. I hated it."

You could tell he doesn’t really like talking about this subject, so you try to quickly ease the tension with a bit of humor. Besides, you're probably better off without hearing anything regarding that topic anyway. "It's because you couldn't figure out how the whole swiping thing worked, isn't it?"

Bucky immediately seems to relax with your joke, chuckling a bit. "It took me a few days actually." He takes a quick pause before continuing. "I probably should've asked you for help."

If there was any hidden message behind his last statement, it completely goes over your head because you genuinely thought it was just part of your playful banter regarding his lack of skills when it comes to technology. You laugh, and in return Bucky offers you a smile because that's as much hinting as he dares to do out loud, especially if Sam and Joaquín are sitting right there. He's incredibly used to you never getting his subtle implications anyway.

In front of you, the other two guys are watching this exchange unfold, and it's hard to tell which one of them has a bigger urge to tell you to stop being so fucking oblivious already. As subtle as he can be, Joaquín pokes Sam's side with his elbow to give him a quick heads-up before speaking. "Considering everyone's almost finished, Sam and I are getting another round of drinks."

The two of them are standing up when they notice you're grabbing your purse and standing up as well. "Oh, I can go with you. I have to go to the restroom anyway."

The two of them want to yet again yell at you to please get a grip on the situation, but Sam just silently takes a seat as you and Joaquín go over to the bar, quickly telling him what you want to order before heading towards the restroom.

A few drinks later the four of you are finally leaving the bar. Sam and Joaquín left to their respective houses while you and Bucky shared an Uber back to his own place. He was kind enough to let you crash in his spare room for the night. It's not like this is the first time you've ever stayed at his apartment when you visit the boys, but you can't deny the idea is both thrilling and terrifying- not like anything would happen to make you feel like that...you two are just friends...but, still...your silly head likes to get silly ideas sometimes.

Deciding not to indulge in your little fantasies, you decide to start a conversation. "Update on the food?" you ask, turning to look at Bucky, who sits comfortably on the sofa of his living room.

"Like ten minutes away," he says, taking a quick look at the screen. "How come you haven't congratulated me for knowing how to order food with this thing?" he added with evident surprise, making you chuckle.

"Because you keep saying 'this thing' like it's some mysterious device completely unknown to mankind," you reply, and before you can stop yourself, you continue. "It's cute, I guess, so congratulations."

Bucky's grin grows wider. "Oh, so it's cute?"

You try really hard not to panic, feeling incredibly embarrassed. The fact that he seems to be enjoying what you just said makes it even worse, because you know he’ll use that to tease you now. He just finds any possible excuse to do it. "Cute as in lame."

He chuckles. "Right."

Not knowing what else to say, you clear your throat before walking towards him, taking a seat next to him as you try to come up with something else to change the subject immediately. "I'm starving," is all you say, mentally scolding you for such a poor effort.

As soon as you're sitting, you unsuccessfully try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach when he leans just a bit closer...perhaps if you weren't hyper vigilant whenever the two of you are too near you might've missed it. And then, he stretches his arm across the back of the sofa, right behind you.

For a second, you even thought of mocking him for such a move, but bringing more attention to it would only make you that much nervous, and you really don't want to embarrass yourself. And most importantly, you don't want your silly mind and your silly heart to get their hopes up. You're just friends, nothing else.

"Me too," he agrees, the playful grin on his face still not disappearing. "Might have to steal a few fries from you."

"Oh, I'd really like to see you try stealing my food," you reply in the same playful tone, leaning just a little closer to him without even noticing that you were actually doing that.

"I think I deserve some compensation after what happened today. You know, for all the unnecessary ass-kicking I had to do."

"Just when I thought you had moved on from that!" you reply, jokingly slapping his knee. "It wasn't my fault, it was yours for not telling me the plan on time!"

"You should've just trusted me," he insists. "But you always have to be right on everything..."

You know he's joking. There's something about bantering with you that seems to absolutely fascinate him. "Yeah, and you always want to piss me off."

Bucky chuckles again, and that's when you feel his hand gently resting on your shoulder, his arm fully around you. What the actual fuck is going on. "What, you think I like pissing you off?" he asks, tone slightly lower than before, which inevitably makes the butterflies in your stomach multiply. "Is that why you think I do it?"

You were quiet for a moment, your brain not entirely registering what's happening. "I mean...yeah."

He stops for a second, and you almost see a hint of hesitation on his face before he speaks, letting out a frustrated sigh. "For someone who claims to be so much more clever than anyone else, I would've expected you to figure it out sooner," he starts, shaking his head with a soft smile. "I've been actually flirting with you, doll."

The comment evidently takes you by surprise and all you can do is to stare back at him like a complete fool. His arm around your shoulders, the proximity, the fact he had the fucking audacity to call you that nickname...did you somehow fall asleep on his couch without noticing and this is the type of oddly-realistic dream your brain decided to come up with? Are you still standing there like a fool just fantasizing and this one just got way too immersive? And did he really just say that he's been flirting with you?

Noticing you weren't saying anything, he decides to continue, looking a little hesitant and disappointed with your silence. "You know, it'd be really nice if you say something..."

"Awful way to flirt," is all you could come up with, which immediately makes him burst out laughing.

"Maybe," he agrees. "But I can’t believe you didn’t figure it out. I mean…Sam and Joaquín did a long time ago."

"The three of you share the same brain cell, of course they figured it out a long time ago,” you reply, still in complete shock to be having this conversation with him. Were you really that blind? "You could’ve just asked me."

"You know I'm not direct like that," he replies, and the shy look on his face almost makes your heart melt. "Like I said, I was relying on your impressive intelligence to figure it out."

You let out a soft chuckle after his last comment, immediately giving him a warning look. "Don't." He looks back at you for a few seconds, almost wanting to challenge you after noticing the way you’re looking at him. Soon enough, he’s unable to hide his smirk anymore. "There it is," you point out, knowing he hates that.

Bucky lets out a soft grunt as a complaint, resting his head on your shoulder. Encouraged, you immediately move a hand up to his hair, affectionately playing with it. The two of you stay like that, simply enjoying being so close to each other. It feels incredibly right.

"So how do you feel?" he eventually asks, perhaps feeling braver to ask now that he doesn’t have to look into your eyes when he does.

You don’t reply right away, still feeling incredibly nervous despite knowing he does like you back. Eventually, you do build up the courage to say something. "I like you. Like, a lot."

Bucky moves back to look at you know. The look on his face gives you the impression that he wasn’t expecting you to be so honest with your answer, perhaps expecting another silly joke or sarcastic remark. And even though you thought about the possibility of choosing a more humorous approach, after keeping your feelings for him locked up and stored away for so long, you really needed to just say it.

Instead of saying something back, Bucky tightens his grip around your shoulders just enough, using his other hand to grab your chin right before kissing you. It certainly takes you by surprise, but you're quickly returning the kiss as you just completely melt in his arms, still trying to convince yourself that this is not some kind of hyper-realistic dream.

His hand swiftly moves to your cheek as the kiss continues, the gesture so incredibly delicate, a sharp contrast with the pure need he’s transmitting through the kiss. It’s desperate, passionate, intense…like he’s been waiting an entire lifetime to finally be able to experience this, grateful for the absolute privilege that it is to kiss you.

One of your hands moves up to the back of his neck and your touch seems to encourage him that much more because before you know it, he's taking the opportunity to gently bite your bottom lip, right before continuing to make out with you.

Much to yours and Bucky's disappointment, the sound of his apartment's doorbell echoes through the apartment, indicating the food you previously ordered has arrived.

He reluctantly pulls away with a soft grunt. "Food's here," he comments out loud, offering you a soft smile. He takes a brief moment to look at you, brushing his thumb against your cheek in an affectionate manner, dreading the idea of having to leave this couch. "I'll get it."

"I can help," you offer almost immediately.

Instead of replying right away, he leans in for a short kiss. "I'll get it," he insists, quickly making his way to the door after another buzz could be heard.

You sat in his living room in complete disbelief of what just happened, thankful that he's not here right now to see your goofy smile and blushed cheeks. He'd probably tease you to no end if he did see that.

Not knowing what else to do, you immediately reach for your phone, opening your messages. You knew exactly who would be the right people to share the news with.

'uhm so we just kissed??????' you texted, the first message in the group chat you just created with Sam and Joaquín.

Joaquín is the first one to reply. 'HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!'

'FUCKING FINALLY.' Sam texts shortly after.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you

664 notes · View notes

firewasabeast · 2 days ago

Text

The Thing That Breaks You

a little bucktommy fic. set 3 weeks after Bobby's funeral. cockroaches are mentioned several times.

“It’s me, Evan!” Tommy called out as he walked in the front door. He’d picked up some Thai on his way to Buck’s place, ready for them to sit and eat and talk about their days.

It had become a habit, of sorts, for them to spend all of their free time together again. It was different from before, in some ways. They hadn’t really taken the time to talk about what they were. But all that mattered right now was being there, for each other.

Tommy continued into the kitchen, smiling when he saw Buck sitting at the table. He ran his free hand over his back. “I know you said spice level three, but that’s what I got last time and you said the flavor of your food was ‘ow,’ so I got a level two.”

He set the bag on the counter and began to unpack everything, but stopped when he realized Buck had never answered him.

Tommy set the container in his hand down and turned to Buck. He had his elbows propped up, head in his hands, staring down at something on the table.

Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed. “Evan? A- Are you okay?”

“I killed it.”

Tommy’s eyes drifted around the room, hoping there was something somewhere that could clue him in on what Buck was talking about. When he didn’t spot anything, he stepped closer. “What did you kill?”

Buck’s hands moved down to the table, fingers forming a little triangle around whatever it was he was he couldn’t take his eyes off of. “This,” he replied simply. “I killed it.”

Tommy pulled out a chair next to Buck and sat down. He looked down at the thing.

“A… A cockroach?” he questioned. “You killed a cockroach?”

Buck nodded, blinking rapidly. “I didn’t mean to,” he said, voice breaking halfway through the sentence. “I knew you’d be here soon so I came in to get our drinks ready and I- I heard a crunch under my foot. When I lifted it up, it was lying there. Dead.”

“Well, you didn’t mean to,” Tommy replied, trying to be supportive even though he still had no clue what the problem was. He rested his hand over Buck’s wrist. “It’s okay, Evan.”

Buck’s head whipped up, looking at him with wild eyes. “It’s not okay!” he exclaimed. “Don’t you know what this is, Tommy?!”

Tommy was slightly taken aback by the outburst, but he kept his composure. “A… A, um, a roach?”

Buck shook his head, pulling his arm away from Tommy’s grasp. “This is a wood-feeding cockroach, Tommy. A wood-feeding cockroach!”

Tommy’s eyes darted back and forth between Buck and the bug. He nodded. “Oh okay, I… I see.”

Buck glared at him, scooting his chair back to stand. Hands on his hips, he walked over towards the sink, then turned back around. “Do you not remember the documentary we watched last summer?”

Tommy could fly straight through a hurricane, or evade the FBI and the military, all without breaking a sweat. But right now, under Buck’s gaze, he was nervous. “There were a few documentaries last summer.”

“The one we watched on insects, Tommy! Specifically insects. It was also the night of the first time I-”

“Oh!” Tommy definitely remembered that. They had started making out halfway through the documentary. By the time the credits rolled, Buck was begging for Tommy to be inside him. They’d done everything else up to that point, but that was… Tommy shook his head, clearing his throat. “Yes, I remember that.”

“Then you should remember that wood-feeding cockroaches mate for life. For life!”

“Evan-” Tommy paused to take a breath. He pulled out the chair beside him, opposite the one Buck had been in before. “Why don’t you sit?”

With a shaky exhale, Buck sat back down. His eyes were immediately drawn back to the roach on the other side of the table.

“Hey.” Tommy reached out and took Buck’s hand, squeezing it to get his attention. Once Buck looked at him, he continued. “What’s really going on, Evan?”

“I told you, I killed it!”

“I know that, but you’ve killed bugs before and it’s never bothered you like this. You told me you’ve even chopped a snake in half.”

“Th- This is different, Tommy!” Buck insisted. “What if he, or she, h- had a mate and I- I took it from them?! Now the other one is going to be wandering around, w- wondering where its other half is and it’ll think they j- just left!”

Tommy did a quick calculation in his head. Three weeks, to the day, since Bobby’s funeral. Tommy hadn’t seen Buck cry once.

“Do you think… Do you think this maybe doesn’t have to do with the bug, Evan?” Tommy asked cautiously.

“Wh- What do you mean?”

"I’m just saying that it might have something to do with… with Bobby.”

Again, Buck was retracting his hand from Tommy. “No. No, i- it’s not that. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with the fact that I just murdered an animal that has a wife, or a husband, and probably kids!” Buck’s breaths were coming in faster, his eyes welling up with tears. “Th- There could be a whole family w- waiting for it to come h- home and wh- what if it was bringing them dinner or something and now they’re g- gonna be waiting f- for… for- forev-”

Tommy was on his knees at Buck’s side in an instant, pulling him in for a hug. Buck gripped onto his shirt, burying his head into Tommy’s neck as he sobbed.

“It’s okay,” Tommy soothed, hand rubbing up and down Buck’s back. “It’s okay.”

The angle was awkward, and uncomfortable for them both. But Tommy waited until Buck’s breathing had returned to somewhat normal before suggesting they move to the couch.

Tommy kept an arm around Buck until they reached the couch. And as soon as he sat down, Buck was curling up to him, resting his head on Tommy’s chest.

“I really m- miss him, Tommy.”

Tommy hooked one arm around Buck, running the other through his hair. “I know you do, Evan.”

“We didn’t have enough time, you know? I- I didn’t even get ten years with him. I wanted more time.”

“I know.”

“It’s not fair.”

“No,” Tommy agreed. “It’s not.”

“I never got to tell him I loved him too.”

“He knew. He knew you loved him.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you love loud, Evan,” Tommy replied gently. “He knew.”

“I just w- wish I knew… what we were.”

"I kn-" Tommy squinted. The hand in Buck’s hair stilled. “Are we still talking about Bobby?”

Buck sat up, staring at Tommy. He shook his head.

“Okay.” Tommy took a deep breath, swallowing down the lump in his throat. “I’d like to know that too.”

“I like you being here, Tommy. With me.”

“I like being here. With you.”

“I think I scare you sometimes,” Buck admitted.

Tommy smiled softly. “You scare me all the time, Evan.”

“Like… bad?”

“No,” Tommy answered quickly. “No, like… I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for you, Evan, and the thought of- of being without you is… it’s terrifying.”

Buck was quiet, just watching him. For a second, Tommy wondered if he had even heard him. Then, “Tommy?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Tommy waited. Waited for the fear to kick in. Waited for the desire to run to overtake him.

It didn’t come.

Instead, he closed the distance between the two of them, brought one hand to Buck’s cheek, and kissed him.

“I love you too,” he answered once they pulled apart for air.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Buck wrapped himself back up in Tommy’s arms. His laid his head against Tommy’s chest, listening to the steady thumps of his heartbeat. “Do you think we could b- be like the cockroaches?” he asked. “Stay together?”

Tommy grinned. He liked the sound of that. “We can be like the cockroaches.” He paused, then, “Those are the same roaches that feast on each other’s wings, aren’t they?”

Buck nodded, running his sleeve across his nose. “Sexual cannibalism.”

“Mm.” Tommy pressed a kiss to the top of Buck’s head. “Maybe we don’t have to be exactly like the cockroaches?”

Buck looked up at Tommy, eyes wide and wet. “Just the mate for life part?”

“Yeah,” Tommy agreed, wiping a tear from Buck’s cheek. “That part I like.”

#bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #911 abc #911

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holyblonded · 2 days ago

Text

teenagers | stargirl

pairings: alexia putellas x teen!reader, olga rios x teen!reader

summary: you bring home a… friend, and alexia is not okay

warnings: toxic partners

notes: this is pre soleil!!

“Mami, please! Just sit down,” you begged, eyes wide and hands flailing toward the couch where Olga sat curled up with a steaming mug of coffee.

Alexia raised an eyebrow, suspicious. “Fine, but I have to go for my run after this.”

“Whatever,” you muttered, already distracted as your brain buzzed with nerves. You shifted your weight from foot to foot, heart racing like you were about to take a penalty in a final.

Both women stared at you expectantly as you stood in front of them, wringing your hands together.

You opened your mouth, then closed it. Tried again.

“I… I need to tell you something,” you started, voice cracking slightly.

Alexia leaned forward, brow furrowed. “You’re failing a class?”

“No!” you blurted out, too quickly.

Olga tilted her head, grinning. “You crashed the scooter again?”

“No! Oh my god, stop—just let me—”

Alexia raised an eyebrow. “You got called up to a brand deal without telling us?”

“WHAT? No! Just let me finish!” you snapped, half laughing, half exasperated.

You took a breath. “Okay, okay. I just want to say—”

“You’re moving out?” Olga gasped dramatically, clearly having fun now.

You let out a long groan. “No! I have a girlfriend!”

There was a moment of stunned silence.

Then Olga’s face broke into a delighted grin. “¡Ay, por favor! My baby’s in love!”

You gave her a crooked smile, cheeks burning. “I didn’t say love.”

But Olga was already leaning forward, wiggling her eyebrows. “Who is it? Do we know her? Is she nice? Does she have dimples? I feel like she has dimples.”

You giggled, nodding. “She does, actually.”

Meanwhile, Alexia sat back, arms crossed, her expression unreadable.

“What’s her name?” she asked sharply.

You blinked. “Carmen.”

“How old is she?”

“A year older than me” you replied quickly, already bracing.

“What does her family do? Where did you meet her? Is she serious about football? Does she understand the lifestyle you’re in? What are her intentions? Is she respectful? Do you—”

“Mami,” you groaned, throwing your head back. “Can you not turn this into an interrogation?”

“It’s not an interrogation,” Alexia said calmly. “It’s responsible parenting.”

“It’s an interrogation,” Olga muttered into her mug, barely hiding her laugh.

“She’s not a criminal! She’s literally the sweetest girl I’ve ever met,” you said, folding your arms.

“Have we met her?” Alexia asked, eyes narrowing.

“No. I was going to introduce her soon. I just wanted to tell you first.”

Alexia sighed, clearly biting back further questions. Olga leaned over and swatted her knee.

“Cool it, cariño. Let her breathe.”

Alexia looked over at you again, eyes softer now but still serious. “I’m just looking out for you.”

“I know,” you said, walking over and flopping down between them. “But I’m okay. Carmen’s really good to me. I wouldn’t be with her if she wasn’t.”

Olga wrapped an arm around your shoulder, tugging you close. “I’m happy for you, mi amor. I knew it was only a matter of time before someone fell for that little smirk of yours.”

You rolled your eyes but let her kiss the side of your head. Alexia still looked like she had more to say, but when she saw how content you looked curled between them, she let it go… for now.

Instead, she reached for the remote and muttered, “She better be a Barça fan.”

“She doesn’t hate us?” you said, wincing. “She actually supports Real Madr—.”

Alexia visibly flinched. “Do not cuss in the house.”

It had been just over a week since you’d told them that you had a girlfriend now. Her name was Carmen, and you’d said it so casually, with a little smile and your eyes darting between Olga and Alexia like you were bracing for impact. Her name made Alexia sick.

“Puppy love,” Olga had said later that night when she and Alexia were getting ready for bed. “She’s fifteen, Ale. Let her be a little stupid about someone.”

Alexia hadn’t said anything at first. She just frowned, tugging her shirt over her head, her mind turning over things she’d seen. Like the slight hesitation in your voice when you said Carmen’s name, the way you looked over your shoulder afterward, almost like you were checking for someone’s reaction.

The changes were small at first. You started missing dinners here and there. At first, it was excuses— “Carmen’s mom invited me over,” or “We’re just hanging out after school.” Olga would just shrug and wave you off, telling you not to be home too late, saving your plate in the fridge. She trusted you. She wanted to give you room to breathe.

But Alexia noticed more. She noticed how your spark had dulled a little. You weren’t your usual loud, chaotic self at practice. You still played well, but there was something off. When Lamine and Vicky had a ridiculous, animated debate about the best cookie flavor, you didn’t jump in with your usual “none of y’all have taste, clearly it’s snickerdoodle.” You just watched, quiet. You looked tired. Like you hadn’t slept properly.

You flinched when Alexia lightly nudged your shoulder during warmups one day. Not visibly. Not enough for anyone else to catch. But she did. You looked at her with that same defensive look you always gave when you felt caught.

“Long night?” she asked.

“Just tired,” you replied, brushing her off.

But it wasn’t just that. You were more sluggish during drills. You snapped at Aitana when she corrected your positioning. And when Alexia pressed again about where you’d been after practice, your tone had a sharp edge.

“God, why does it matter?”

Alexia didn’t push further then. She just filed it away, another piece of something that wasn’t sitting right in her chest.

Then one night, late, she passed your door on her way to get a glass of water. The lights were still on, your voice muffled but audible. She wasn’t trying to listen, she never would, but something about your tone stopped her. It wasn’t the words, not at first. It was how small you sounded. How not…you.

Then came the words. Low and quiet, desperate in a way she hadn’t heard from you in a long time. “No, I said sorry already.”

Silence. “Fine… I’ll come over now then.”

There was a shuffle. Then the unmistakable sound of your door closing—too hard, too fast, like you didn’t want to risk waiting long enough for someone to stop you. Alexia’s hand froze on the stair railing as she watched you slip out the front door in a hoodie and sneakers, barely pausing to check if anyone had seen.

She stood there in the dark hallway, her jaw tight. Her chest full of something like dread.

Because she knew that voice. That pleading tone. She remembered hearing it from friends, teammates, even herself once upon a time. That voice wasn’t tired from practice or teenage moodiness.

That was the sound of someone begging to be enough for a person who kept shifting the goalposts.

When Olga asked from bed why she’d taken so long, Alexia didn’t answer for a while. She just lay beside her, eyes on the ceiling, already planning how she’d bring it up to you the next day. Because whatever was happening with Carmen, she wasn’t going to let you carry it alone. Not again.

The door shut behind you with a soft click, your footsteps fading as you hurried out of the house, phone in hand and a lightness in your step that was becoming more and more rare lately. The image haunted Alexia. Olga was curled up on the couch with her iPad, flipping through something halfheartedly, but Alexia didn’t even pretend to be distracted. She was already watching the door you’d disappeared through, her jaw tight, her brows pinched.

“She left again,” Alexia said, voice low.

Olga didn’t look up. “She’s seeing Carmen. Let her have her fun.”

Alexia shifted her weight, arms folded. “She hasn’t had dinner with us in almost two weeks, Olga. And when she is here, she barely talks.”

Olga sighed. “She’s in love. First love, you remember what it’s like. Intense. Consuming. A little messy.”

Alexia turned her full attention to her partner, her tone sharper now. “No, this isn’t just messy. I don’t like the way she talks to her.”

That made Olga pause. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ve heard her, Olga. Carmen,” Alexia snapped. “She talks down to her. Like Estrella’s always doing something wrong. Like she’s too much. Like she should be grateful to even be with her.”

Olga tried to keep her voice level. “You might just be reading too much into it. You’ve always been protective with her.”

Alexia stared at her, stunned. “Of course I’m protective. You’ve seen what she’s been through. She’s only just starting to open up, and now she’s in a relationship where she’s already shrinking again.”

“She’s not shrinking,” Olga defended. “She’s figuring things out. Sometimes girls fall too hard, too fast, it happens. You can’t control this part for her.”

Alexia exhaled through her nose, frustrated. “I’m not trying to control her. I just don’t like that this Carmen girl makes her feel small. Have you seen the way she flinches when her phone buzzes?”

Olga opened her mouth, but there was no immediate reply. A seed of doubt cracked something in her expression, but she still said, “She’s a teenager, Ale. Everything feels like life or death right now. We can’t micromanage her every emotion.”

Alexia clenched her jaw. “No, but we can step in if something feels wrong. And this—this doesn’t sit right with me.”

Later that night, long after Olga had gone to bed, Alexia stayed awake. The house was still and quiet except for the occasional ticking of the wall clock and the soft hum of the fridge. The hours crawled. She sat at the kitchen table with a glass of water she didn’t drink, eyes flicking up every time a car passed outside.

When you finally opened the front door well past midnight, the last thing you expected was Alexia, still awake, still dressed, waiting. You froze, and so did she.

“You’re late,” she said simply.

You gave a careless shrug, trying to keep your voice light. “We lost track of time.”

Alexia stood. “Can I ask you something?”

You sighed, already tensing. “What?”

“Does Carmen always talk to you like that?”

You blinked, thrown off. “Like what?”

“Like you’re a burden. Like you’re something to fix. Like if you were just a little quieter, a little more obedient, she’d love you better.”

Your chest seized. You looked away, tried to laugh it off, but it came out brittle. “You don’t even know her.”

Alexia stepped closer. “I know what I’ve seen.”

“God, you never like anyone!” you snapped suddenly, your voice cracking like a whip. “You didn’t like anyone at school, you didn’t like half of my friends in La Masia, and now you don’t like Carmen! This is why I don’t tell you anything!”

Her face barely changed, but you could see it in the way her hands curled at her sides, in the faint tremble in her jaw. She took a breath but didn’t respond right away.

“I do like people,” she said quietly. “Just not people who treat you like you’re disposable.”

“You don’t understand!” you shouted, emotion choking your voice. “You think you know everything about how I feel, but you don’t! She gets me. She sees me!”

Alexia swallowed, her throat working. “No. She sees someone she can control. And you’re letting her.”

That did it. You turned on your heel, storming down the hallway. “Screw this,” you muttered as you slammed your bedroom door.

Left alone in the hallway, Alexia stared at the floor, still and silent. Her hands were shaking now, but not from anger. Just heartbreak. The kind of heartbreak that only comes when you see someone you love running straight toward the edge, and you’re powerless to stop them.

—

The night you finally brought Carmen home was supposed to feel exciting. Special. You had asked three times if it was okay, your voice small and uncertain, but Alexia had finally nodded, stiffly, with a short, “Sure. Dinner at seven.” Olga had tried to fill the space between you all with warmth, smiling as she planned the meal, asking you what Carmen liked. You tried to ignore the tightness in your chest.

Carmen arrived at 6:58 on the dot. She wore a perfect outfit, greeted Alexia with a sharp, too-white smile, and kissed your cheek a little too close to your mouth, her fingers lingering around your waist like she was staking a claim.

“Wow,” she said as she stepped inside, looking around. “So this is where the royalty lives.”

You laughed, too quickly. “Stop.”

She squeezed your hip and whispered, “Just kidding, baby.”

Olga welcomed her kindly, offered her a drink, tried to keep things light. Carmen accepted with a thank-you that didn’t quite meet her eyes. She made herself comfortable immediately, legs crossed, arm draped behind you on the couch, like she owned the place.

Alexia didn’t say much, but she watched. Carefully. Her fingers were tight around her tea mug, her eyes sharper than usual.

At dinner, it got worse.

“So, Estrella tells us you’re a writer?” Olga asked politely.

Carmen smiled. “Yeah, poem mostly. Not really into the fairytale stuff like some people.” She laughed and nudged you. “No offense, baby.”

You smiled a little too brightly. “I like fairytales.”

“Yeah, but you also cry when your soup is too spicy,” she said, with a fond eye-roll.

The table went quiet for a beat before Olga chuckled awkwardly. You stared down at your plate, cheeks warm.

Alexia asked a few more questions, about school, about her work, and Carmen answered them all confidently, but something was always just a little off. Like when you mentioned training, and Carmen interrupted to say, “She always exaggerates. Makes it sound like bootcamp, but she just runs around with a ball for two hours.”

Alexia’s expression didn’t change, but her grip on her fork did.

You kept laughing. Laughing and trying to smooth over the edges. You could feel how much Carmen didn’t fit, but you didn’t know how to name it yet. You just knew that when she put her hand on your thigh too tightly or cut you off mid-sentence, something inside you flinched.

Then came the final straw.

You were talking about something stupid, something small but yours. The story of how you scored your first goal in a match you weren’t even supposed to play in, how you kept the ball in a shoebox under your bed.

“And she cried, like, sobbed over it,” Carmen added with a chuckle. “Such a drama queen. I keep telling her she needs thicker skin.”

Your words died in your throat.

Alexia put her fork down gently, her expression unreadable. She looked up at Carmen, then directly at you.

“I don’t like her.”

Silence fell like a guillotine.

You blinked. Carmen let out a nervous laugh. “Excuse me?”

“I said,” Alexia repeated calmly, “I don’t like you.”

“Mami—” you started, your voice too high, panicked.

“I’ve been quiet all night,” she said, voice still calm, but there was steel behind it. “But I’m not going to sit here and watch someone belittle her in her own home. You talk over her. You dismiss her. You treat her like she’s lucky to have your attention. She’s not. You’re lucky to be here at all.”

Olga reached for Alexia’s hand, gently trying to diffuse it, but Alexia didn’t look away.

Carmen sat frozen for a second. Then stood. “I think I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

You stood too, voice trembling. “Carmen—”

“Text me when you’re done being a baby,” she muttered under her breath, loud enough for everyone to hear.

The door slammed shut a second later.

The silence left in her wake felt heavier than the confrontation itself.

You stood frozen, heart pounding, eyes wide. Then you crumpled into a chair. You didn’t cry right away. You just stared at your plate, numb.

“I’m sorry,” Alexia said quietly. “But I wasn’t going to let her treat you like that.”

You nodded. Slowly. “I loved her. Or… I thought I did.”

Olga got up and wrapped her arms around you, holding you tightly. You finally let yourself cry then, your face pressed into her shoulder, sobs catching in your throat.

Later, as you curled up on the couch in your favorite hoodie, your voice was small but clear.

“That’s not what love’s supposed to feel like, is it?”

Alexia shook her head. “No, bebita. It’s not.”

And you knew then that you were heartbroken, but not because she left. Because you had convinced yourself that being belittled was part of being loved. But now you knew better.

#woso x platonic!reader #woso fic #woso x teen!reader #woso x reader #woso community #woso fanfics #woso #barca femeni x teen!reader #barca femeni x reader #barcelona femeni x reader #barcelona x reader #barca x reader #barcelona femeni #barcelona femeni x teen!reader #alexia putellas x teen!reader #alexia putellas x reader #olga rios x teen!reader #⋆｡˚ stargirl

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