#I will never let go of Pastor Ian-

[polterwasteist]

i found a cool pose reference so yeah

[femmmie]

Review of Smosh's Funeral Roast

I am harsh at times, but know it all comes from a place of love!

Spoilers under the cut

I live in Europe. This is relevant because of timezones: the funeral roast of Anthony Padilla was live at 6pm for them, meaning 3am for me. I am not the youthful insomniac I once was so I had to train my sleep schedule the entire week - otherwise I would miss it because I fell asleep. But I wanted to witness this live. I love smosh.

The trailer for this roast deserves an award: Ian and the cast have a movie night as suddenly the light turns blue and everyone but Ian freezes. He seems to know what's going on and discovers a zombie or ghost like Anthony levitating. The cast of the roast are all introduced and all play a gothic, churchy kind of character. See the full trailer here (it's currently at 666k views, how fun):

Around 1am I got impatient and decided not to wait for my alarm clock but to install myself on the couch, with a blanket and a scarf, and a hot cup of tea, god knows I would need it. I watched episodes of the Scott Pilgrim Netflix series to kill the time. The character Todd Ingram reminded me a lot of Anthony and I wonder whether Anthony has 'vegan superpowers' as well. Probably so.

Finally, the pre-show begins. This is pretty uneventful as they play a game and succesfully convince thousands of viewers to buy their tickets to the main show. I look at them. Everyone is gorgeous. But I can't look away from Ian and Anthony. And here is where I stray from actually reviewing the show to let my inner fangirl out: holy fuck they are hot. Me and my friends on tumblr have been making 'forgive me Father, for I have SINNED' jokes because his character, 'the pastor', just brings that out in people. We're not used to Ian in black, or in a robe, and he looks phenomenal. And then there is Anthony, clothed in a ridiculous Harry Styles-esque lace top with lace gloves, resting his head on Ian's shoulder. It's such a cute moment, Ian pushes him upright. He can be alive for a second before his funeral. My heart melts. Honerable mention: Courtney's bikini girl cleavage right behind Ian. The girls were ready to rock. Okay, okay, back to the review.

The room feels kind of small and a bit claustrophobic. The Smosh art dept. always steps up, so the stained glass "friendship never dies" high-five looks incredible, and the megachad-Anthony portrait hilarious. The casket is huge. But the props make the set look even smaller. I think the problem is the cameras. I realize how difficult camerawork is when you have multiple focus points to switch between, but next time they should do a lot of practice with this to streamline, to get everyone in the shot and better capture people's reactions to the roasts.

Ian walks in. He starts off with a bit about who Anthony is: a hot, hardworking guy with a big dick. Those are the main takeaways of his roasts.

Amanda is next. She looks beautiful but very wacky. Her deliverance and accent are stellar, though. She truly is top talent at Smosh. Her roasts are also some of the most scorching of the night. She doesn't shy away from calling out Anthony's past problematic behavior and less than stellar performance in the bedroom ("look it up!") She gets a round of applause and deservedly so.

Tommy follows with a kind of angry roast, and proceeds to read the will, from which nobody comes away unscathed. I feels like his words about Anthony supposedly hating the cast are a necessary evil. Just the same day Anthony posted his interview with Shayne on his personal channel. There we learned that Shayne didn't know before if Ian and Anthony actually had wanted to hire them. Anthony said they were very much involved, something I don't know whether to believe. As apparently, Ian never talked about it with Shayne either, for all those years. Shayne had also been very apprehensive when Anthony came back, not knowing what would happen and the first change was to boot the entire cast off the main channel. I feel like Tommy's roast puts the topic on the table and hopefully they will talk about it more until nobody has any doubt left.

Now I have to insert that one of my main critiques of the night is that lots of people both did a lot of obvious jokes (tattoos, leaving smosh, general appearance) and did not go hard enough. Anthony kind of has an awkward CEO vibe (he's not the ceo but still) about him that seems to make even the cast a bit wary of him. I had hoped for jokes about that.

Brandon Rogers is next and rightfully points out the lack of celebrities in the line-up. Doesn't Anthony have more friends who want to roast him? Either he doesn't or the rest of Smosh don't have access to them. Which is both fine, because it is a Smosh party after all.

Arasha comes in swinging with all kinds of Zoomer slang that I frankly don't understand but her deadpan delivery is like a breath of fresh air. She ends with a very nice message. That kind of undercuts her roasts though, I wish she would have been meaner.

Now it is time for the musical half-time show, which actually deserves its own review. Performed by Angela and Chanse, this is incredible. By far, the most professional part of the evening. These are no theater kids, as they still call themselves. These are Broadway acTORS! I was really taken away by their talent. Not only do they act, but they also sing amazingly? Did you hear Angela do screamo?! And Chanse's riffs? They pointedly mention the sexual tension between Ian and Anthony, both on- and off screen. This has been occupying my mind ever since. Wow, sorry I went fangirl-mode again. But the halftime show simply is that good. Keith makes an appearance at the end and brings the show back down to earth with his humor.

The biggest surprise guests are next in what I can only describe as Dan telling the horny tale of his years long obsession with Anthony, and the many, many times he unloaded on the 'sexy Anthony' calender (which is a real calender, I was there when it came out but was broke at the time, darnit). Dan and Phil have been shedding their PG personas on their own channels for a while now, but for those who don't watch them daily this December - they're doing gamingmas and it's chaos - it is shocking what X-rated stuff comes out of their mouths. Anthony is visibly taken aback. Good!

As the show progresses, Ian keeps moderating as the pastor. It is great to see him so in control and enjoying the roast of his best friend. The joke of Ian not being able to show his emotions comes up a lot, but today I see him mainly just having fun.

Of course, then there is Bikini Girl, whom I had high hopes for, maybe too high. She is hilarious, but nothing really stings. Courtney does also direct the whole show, so super kudos to her. I just don't think she has the best roasts. She is followed by Rhett and Link, who just do their regular thing. It is funny but not very original. You can only hear so many tattoo jokes before it gets old. We do see Link's bare torso, so a win for fangirls (gender neutral).

Then Shayne, or should I say the Chosen has his turn. He is absolutely in character and does great. I just don't know if the Chosen is the best person to deliver roasts. It feels more like a Shayne party than a roast of Anthony. Which enough people love all the same, I'm sure.

Angela is 'the vessel', a possessed girl, reading the roasts from the audience. These roasts are very mid (they should have included mine! /j), but her delivery is again stellar. Smosh is really lucky to have her.

And last but not least, Ian goes on a second roasting spree. Only, it isn't a roast? He just makes fun of Anthony’s baby picture and then proceeds to tell Anthony how grateful he is for him, how he's so glad they are friends again and that he loves him? Anthony is crying by this time, which makes the moment even more tender.

Of course, Anthony has to do a counter-roast. It is apparent that he is still affected by all the roasting or 'love-bombing' as Amanda calls it. And he's not as good at live comedy yet. Still, his jokes are funny and really in Anthony's own style. He concludes with Ian's quote of being happy to burn Smosh to the ground with him. I knew that quote would be ingrained in Anthony's mind. It was one of the sweetest things Ian had ever said to him, after all. Until Ian has now told him he loves him, of course.

And then it was 5 am. I got a healthy two hours of sleep in! I came away from this roast with a content smile and a full heart. This was well worth the ticket, the staying up late. I am happy to be a member and support them monthly, I've loved their humor even before they started their youtube channel. I love Smosh. I'm so happy that Anthony is back. Smosh is whole again. And it brings out that light in Ian's eyes. He is funny in an unhinged way again. I truly love Anthony and Ian and their dumb videos. I want them to continue to make them forever. These kinds of live shows are fun. But Ian and Anthony truly shine in their off the walls absurdist sketches.

Special shout-out to my bestie @only-frann who I could scream at this whole day.

[ilovetheseattlemariners]

Oh baby oh man

Where do i even begin. For one thing, i miss you. I’m sorry. We barely even know each other now. I promise we’ll keep in touch. I promise you’re my baby.

Can i just say that i’m so fucking miserable. Like fuck a poetic allusion to it, fuck some Keats-ian allegory to a pastoral romance. It’s just that I’m myopic (in more ways than one) and so I can literally have one minuscule and insignificant thing destroy me JUST BECAUSE it’s the nearest thing in my vision. Like I probably had a good day today, fuck I don’t know. All i remember is playing bad today at jazz and i let such a failure like that have it’s way with me and destroy me. Aren’t i lucky? I read poetry that people loved, went to a jazz night and people thought i cooked even though I played like shit and it just felt wrong. It felt wrong! There isn’t even something quantifiable to it. The hit felt wrong man.

And I’m unhappy! None of my relationships feel meaningful at all! I just want someone who, when the going gets tough, I can just collapse in their arms. Fuck. I want to collapse in the arms of Kelowna. I just want to eat something sugary and hold hands while we look out into a view that I’ll never know and fuck. Is that difficult. Am i begging to you for something i can never get.

I felt my muscles undergo entropy! Playing bass hurts so bad and i feel like i am undergoing a slow but early death and it’s inevitable and i may not write to you tomorrow but you’ll be writing to me it’ll be something to yell at my grave when i’m gone. Fuck im such a bad poet im such a bad musician. Make something meaningful out of yourself kretosek.

I’d take something easy right now. I could go for some kush or honestly at this point even a drink. I just can’t stand this shit anymore. Im so fucking miserable im so fucking miserable im so fucking miserable. Im sorry kretosek im so sorry im so so so so sorry i can’t be enough and i just cant do this any longer! FUCK!

[freeworldallahmbaclass]

Crying 😭 tears of love eat good and enjoy the rest of your day my bad with the typing on this computer enjoy your day .

I love my mother Joyce Meyer that is my mom my sister would be proud of me I was just reading the book overload page 37 she said it let the lord God be my helper and fighter to go outside and go about my day , then it came to pass I have Jewish flags flying in Brooklyn and Jewish posters calling me the Messiah it is all amazing to me I got my own incubator , park and now these flags and posters the sad thing about it I could never read enough of Joyce Meyer books you better go get you some , I love you Joyce Meyer she wrote me a collection of books for my personal exorcism I have over at least 10 to 15 books for me from her I'm the first to do that to get personal my own books from Joyce Meyer so I dedicate this post to my mother and your mother now Joyce Meyer .

Shallow those are not my Casals legends but it is okay that is before the Human Resource administration DHS , security guards and case managers and counselors set me up and got me jumped and cut and slashed multiple times now I have a scar on my face now King Arthur the movie I'm King Arthur then there is Jude law in the movie and his swimming pools of demons it is okay then that is the game they play not me apology accepted as for me I love my pastors and ministers and God first look at my accomplishments now today and notice that is after the fact that Governor Andrew Cuomo gave me my own incubator and told me not to trust the people in these surrounding neighborhoods and I still helped them . 50 Cent and me ended on good terms we aight I see he represented for me and accepted my apology and shot my enemies in the hood down for me these neighborhoods he shot them down for me we cool we friends and thank you Michael Ian Black for the book I accepted it a letter to his son and Winston in John Wick saying that to me for my friend MK Michael Drayton that work at Lorraine's bar in Harlem successful musician friend husband to his wifey and good father to his kids . I pray I read enough Joyce Meyer using it as my only weapons and get to move out of these neighborhoods . I see that all of my old friends from Harlem went his way and even family members went his way trying to sabotage my life and whatever I got going on they could move on from me and stop saying they know me no thank you good luck to them and their career just to stop the back and forth no thank you and yes get off of me and out of my life I got too much going on so they can break that attachment from me please get off of me and stop controlling me , good luck .

A picture of my Friend in his successful music career hot music and banging wifey check out his music with Mary J Blige l still believe in love , shout out to my friends mobsters forever 1991 the movie mobsters all four of us back together and Hallelujah for Joyce Meyer my teacher , mom and pastor , thank God .

Shout out to my friend Mark Wahlberg love your movies I'm you in alot of them , I did good and sad thing I own an incubator now in Brooklyn New York City so I got no choice but to be successful and my second stage theater in New York City so I'm great , now I know what happened to my family they left me without saying anything emphasis on they don't answer my calls ( again emphasis on they never answer my phone calls ) I got out of jail like nothing happened to me Upstate correctional facility solitary confinement Malone New York thank you Governor Andrew Cuomo for my incubator program see the definition of an incubator and what I do now you know what MK would say to me is stay to yourself and finish your projects what you got going on write your story yourself get your life out of people hands and read the book Michael Ian Black my last words to you , good luck free world that is your name now Allen Henry John Wick the boogie man baba yega and Susie and Neacy said hello and to get your life together .

Nice to meet you great song and Ring from Cardi B emphasis two great sngs they got a hex on me and they go I know I know what your names mean now and why they keep saying your names through me , I'm not a pedophile and I love your music and they can't pull my card they put curses on me and still try to control me and no ain't nothing funny about me or that situation with that voodoo on me and I asked to not be controlled anymore and choose to stay to myself and keep my privacy I'm just happy everybody is good and doing great better than me then I'm good something tell me I'm going to be okay .

We are beautiful people , I look just like my mom Joyce Meyer it is funny she told me to put a do not disturb sign on my phone she has been in it with the media before the media and the movie industry and music industry has been in my room watching me since my release from prison in the year 2013 and I done good with my incubator a lot of has been accomplished by now it's not good no more with other people with me running it by myself yes I just asked for my hospital and incubator to give free cancer screening to all people all patients that request it and for all hospitals on all 7 continents of the earth to give free cancer screening to all peoples all patients of people that request a cancer screening and free cancer treatment for all people regardless of their medical insurance or lack of medical insurance to cover for all people all kinds of patients of people no matter their ethnicity or race and then I'm like no with other people going forward running my incubator with me it is like everybody is thirsty to be famous they let them plug in my room where I'm at I said no and no attachments to me no courtrooms listening in on my room even the music industry do it now most recently it's the hood and the media I said no and no thank you I'm like nah that is a violation of my privacy and most likely when I do something it is going to be fun for me but a with a well paying job on my second stage theater my second call to do music I have no choice them people my people went all out and gave me that so I will do it for fun and with a well paying job I now asked those people that is in my room and my brain to remove themselves from me and give me my space and my privacy and no thanks from now on .

[chrancecriber]

Antenne Vorarlberg Chillout Lounge (July 01, 2023)

23:56 Moby - Natural Blues (Lulu Rouge Vs Stella Polaris Remix) 23:49 Edx - Conundrum 23:44 Cats On Bricks Feat. Zach Alwin - Planes Over Ushuaia 23:41 Emmit Fenn - Blinded 23:38 Nora Van Elken - Mount Fuji 23:34 Lstn - Undecided 23:31 Nora En Pure - Sphinx 23:27 Kygo & Tina Turner - What's Love Got To Do With It 23:23 Elderbrook & Bob Moses - Inner Light 23:17 Hraach, Armen Miran - Aldebaran (Original) 23:14 Christopher Von Deylen - Heliotrope 23:10 Alok Feat. John Martin - Wherever You Go 23:04 Mads Arp Featuring Julie Harrington - Alive 23:00 Above & Beyond - Out Of Time (Original Mix) 22:55 Jon Hopkins - Private Universe 22:51 Trinix - Vision Deluxe 22:47 Ck West & Sassi K - C Song 22:40 Marcel - Departure 22:37 Younotus Feat. Chris Gelbuda - When I Think About You 22:35 Carstn, Jason Walker - Could You Love Me (Munich Monstrs Remix) 22:28 Joris Voorn - Ringo 22:24 Lstn - Thoughts 22:21 Mellowdy - Rise Up 22:16 Groovecatcher - Never Alone In New York 22:13 Vize & Alan Walker Feat. Leony, Edward Artemyev - Space Melody (Edward Artemyev) 22:08 Thomas Lemmer & Andreas Bach - Deep Ocean 22:04 Dj Shog - In The Air Tonight (Sway Gray & Lokee Remix) 21:59 Victoriya - Nothing Remains 21:56 Madison Park, Beechkraft - Parts Of Me (Original Mix) 21:53 Lost Frequencies & Mathieu Koss - Don't Leave Me 21:47 Hraach & Armen Miran - Nowhere 21:43 Night Cruzer - Timeless 21:40 Alan Walker Ahrix - End Of Time 21:37 Backstreet Boys - Chances (Instrumental) 21:30 Finnebassen - If You Only Knew 21:27 Robin Schulz & Alle Farben & Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over The Rainbow / What A Wonderful World 21:23 Lstn - Sïstër 21:20 Danny Avila - End Of The Night 21:14 New Age Kings - Illusion (Instrumental Remix) 21:12 Gil Glaze Feat. Dante Thomas - West La 21:09 Geeno Smith - Stand By Me (Radio Mix) 21:06 Topic, Robin Schulz, Nico Santos, Paul Van Dyk - In Your Arms (For An Angel) 21:02 Jasmine Thompson - Adore (Teemid Remix) 21:00 Gibbs & Code X - Close To Your Heart 20:54 Airstream - Your Tears (Del Mar Mix) 20:51 Klingande Feat. Broken Back - Riva (Restart The Game) 20:47 Sum Wave - Malin's Song 20:45 Above & Beyond - Quieter Is Louder (Original Mix) 20:40 Lux - Northern Lights 20:36 Thomas Gold Feat. Bright Sparks - Seventeen 20:29 Doyeq & Jay Medvedeva - Break Into My Walls (Armen Miran & Hraach Remix) 20:25 Marit Larsen - I Don't Want To Talk About It (Nelsaan & Matoma Tropical Remix) 20:22 Freischwimmer - California Dreamin 20:19 Fedde Le Grand Feat. Vince Freeman - Devils 20:14 Rue Du Soleil - Manush 20:11 Tiësto - The Motto 20:08 Hagen Feetly - Not The One 20:05 Chicane Feat. Bryan Adams - Don't Give Up 20:00 Eelke Kleijn - Woodstock 19:57 Portugal. The Man - Feel It Still (Ofenbach Remix) 19:54 Together Alone - Let Go 19:50 Nora En Pure - Stop Wasting Time 19:45 Joachim Pastor - Joda (Worakls Remix) 19:42 Blank & Jones Feat. Coralie Clément - Cest Mieux 19:37 Tinlicker Feat. Roos Jonker - Come Back Home 19:34 Edx - Missing 19:29 Schiller - White Nights (Don't Let Me Go) 19:26 Vamero & Lizot - Bleeding Love 19:19 Sans Souci - Seaside (Extended Mix) 19:16 L'imperatrice - Peur Des Filles (Montmartre Remix) 19:09 Troels Hammer - Trans/ For/ Mation 19:00 Blond:ish Feat. Bahramji - Omnipresent 18:58 Martin Trevy Feat. Hedara - Talking To The Silence 18:54 Kygo Feat. Ellie Goulding - First Time 18:47 Soul Button - Circadian Rhythm (Hraach Remix) 18:43 John Summit & Hayla - Where You Are 18:38 Afterlife - How Does It Feel (Original Mix) 18:35 Dj Antoine Feat. Craig Smart - Good Vibes (Good Feeling) (Dj Antoine Vs Mad Mark 2k19 Mix) 18:33 Atb & Topic - Your Love (9pm) 18:27 Woolfy Vs. Projections - We Were There 18:24 Eli & Fur - Come Back Around 18:21 Famba Feat. Brando & Mkla - Games We Play 18:15 Ian Pooley - Stonyridge Terrace 18:08 Valeron - Jamal 18:05 Alan Walker - Alone (Restrung) 18:01 Tycho - Horizon 17:57 Schiller & Peter Heppner - Leben... I Feel You 17:53 Sia - Alive 17:50 Melonia - Sweet Child O' Mine 17:45 Cecilia Krull - Agnus Dei (Benny Benassi & Bb Team Remix) 17:40 Ensaime - No Me Contesta 17:37 Paratone - Time After Time 17:30 Worakls - By The Brook 17:25 Estelle Feat. Kanye West - American Boy (Lost Frequencies Remix) 17:22 Luca Schreiner Feat. Johnny Chicago - Its All Gonna Be Good (Junge Junge Edit) 17:15 Hraach Feat. Iveta Mukuchyan - Sarer Jan 17:11 Armin Van Buuren Feat. Josh Cumbee - Sunny Days (Original Mix) 17:07 Avira & Kiko Franco Feat. Nathan Nicholson) - Ocean 17:03 Jp Juice - Cette Planete 16:55 Blank & Jones - California Sunset 16:52 Wave Wave Feat. Evie - Real 16:47 Andrea D'amato - Jaipur Nights 16:45 Feder & Ofenbach Feat. Dawty Music - Call Me Papi 16:42 Neptunica & Lunax - We Don't Even Talk Anymore 16:38 Karen Ramirez - Looking For Love 16:36 Avian Grays & Azteck - Endlessly 16:32 Milkwish - From The Earth To The Moon 16:27 Riccardo Eberspacher - Sunetul De Seara 16:21 Jean-michel Jarre - Equinoxe, Pt. 4 16:14 Nora En Pure - Oblivion (Extended Mix) 16:10 Lenny Ibizarre - The Rain 16:06 Thomas Lemmer & Andreas Bach - Embracing Love 16:02 Los Alamos Country Club - Children (Ambient Remix) 15:59 Tiësto & Karol G - Don't Be Shy 15:55 Kygo Feat. Will Heard - Nothing Left 15:52 James Newton Howard Feat. Jennifer Lawrence - The Hanging Tree 15:49 Möwe - Bad Intentions 15:46 Blank & Jones Feat. Jan Loechel - Beautiful Life 15:41 Bacaro - Under Presure 15:38 Cyrillic Feat. Lara - Zero Gravitation 15:35 Above & Beyond Feat. Zoe Johnston - Treasure 15:31 Jamiroquai - Love Foolosophy 15:28 Hallmann - Always Be 15:24 Schiller - Once Upon A Time (Cahill Remix) 15:20 Minnie Riperton - Lovin' You 15:17 Nora En Pure - Branches 15:14 Thievery Corporation Feat. Shana Halligan - Depth Of My Soul 15:11 Consoul Trainin Feat. Steven Aderinto & Duoviolins - Obsession 15:08 Lizot - Daddy Cool 15:02 Bruno Be, Manimal, Vintage Culture - Human Remix (Club Mix) 14:59 Maxim Lany Feat. Freya Alley - Anymore 14:56 Sunnery James & Ryan Marciano - Let It Lie 14:50 Mic Max - Como El Viento 14:47 Swedish House Mafia & The Weeknd - Moth To A Flame 14:43 Sum Wave - Backyard Stories 14:39 Disco Meets Bossa - Could It Be Magic 14:35 Olga Scheps - How Much Is The Fish? 14:29 Christopher Von Deylen - Free 14:26 Blank & Jones Feat. Coralie Clément - Jardin D'hiver 14:23 Nora Van Elken - Sumatra (Lstn Remix) 14:15 Schiller & Tricia Mcteague - Universe 14:12 Jelly & Fish - Appreciation 14:08 Christopher Von Deylen - Infinity 14:03 The Swan And The Lake - Port D'andratx (Part 2 - Rain) 14:00 Lucas Estrada & Henri Purnell & Neimy - In My Fantasy 13:53 Firtz Kalkbrenner - Golden (Fideles Remix) 13:46 Max Manie - Laura 13:41 Rìfìs Du Sol - Next To Me 13:35 Joachim Pastor & Signum - Something You Need (Extended Mix) 13:33 Diena Van Diest - Don't Give Up 13:27 Jens Buchert - Cocoon 13:25 Nora En Pure - Wetlands 13:18 Lullaby Lounge - Chill De La Mer (Blank Guitar Cafe Relax Mix) 13:14 P. Lion - Happy Children (Special Remastered ) 13:11 Calvin Harris Feat. Sam Smith - Promises 13:08 Sneaker Pimps - 6 Underground 13:04 Filous - Let It Snow (Original Mix) 13:01 The Alan Parsons Project - Mammagamma (Instrumental) 12:57 Portishead - Revenge Of The Number 12:50 Blank & Jones - White Light 12:44 Fac15 & Jay C - By The Pool (Jay C's Classic Mix) 12:41 Brando - Don't Call Me (Galantis Remix) 12:37 Klangperlenspiel & Puzzls - Kyoto (Wish You'd Move On) 12:33 A Reminiscent Drive - Ambrosia 12:30 Gamper & Dadoni - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! 12:25 Lstn - Times Of Sorrow 12:20 Yonderboi - Sinking Slowly 12:17 Nto (Fr) Feat. Sofiane Pamart - Invisible (Piano Version) 12:10 Armen Miran - Precious Story 12:06 Klangperlenspiel - Million Words 12:03 Zoe - C'est La Vie 12:00 Serafim Tsotsonis - Small 2 11:55 Enui - Adieu (Arielle Lb Remix) 11:52 The Alan Parsons Project - The Turn Of A Friendly Card 11:48 Gary B. - Lead Me Home 11:45 Tomas Skyldeberg - Chillin With You 11:40 Blank & Jones - Into The Sun 11:37 Clangusar - I Promised Myself 11:34 Munich Monstrs - Shine 11:32 Zaz - Demain C'est Toi 11:28 Moya Brennan - Ancient Town 11:23 Mr.da-nos - San Francisco 2k20 11:18 Trentemoller - Miss You 11:16 Lunax - I Like 11:12 Robin Schulz - Moonlit Sky (With The Void Pacific Choir) 11:07 Nora En Pure Feat. Ashibah - We Found Love 11:01 Shkoon Feat. Fruiterama - Napauken 10:57 Glockenbach Ft. Clockclock - Brooklyn 10:51 Cantoma - Gambarra (Lexx Remix) 10:46 Tebra - Istok 10:40 Christopher Von Deylen - Euphoria 10:36 Blank & Jones - Wyb (Deeper) 10:34 Chaël Feat Kaii - Don't Speak 10:31 Hbz, Anna Grey & Agent Zed - Aloha Hey 10:27 Air - Talisman 10:24 Duboss - Losing My Religion 10:20 Matt Simons - Catch & Release (Deepend Remix) 10:14 Nora En Pure - Cognitive Fadings (Club Mix) 10:09 Blank & Jones Feat. Zoe Durrant - Adios Ayer 10:06 Bebo Best & The Super Lounge Orchestr - Come As You Are 10:02 Armin Van Buuren & Garibay - Phone Down 10:00 Trinix & Ian Urbina - Bad Things 09:56 Jens Buchert - 1000 Miles 09:50 Rodg - Heights 09:47 The Holy Santa Barbara Feat. Madugo - The Sailor Song 09:43 Lux - Golden 09:38 Schiller Feat. Jael - Tired (Live) 09:36 R3hab X Lukas Graham - Most People 09:33 El Profesor - Bella Ciao (Hugel Remix) 09:26 Rodriguez Jr. Feat. Liset Alea - What Is Real 09:20 Sweed Feat. Janana - Finally (Holter & Mogyoro Remix) 09:16 Undressd - Forever Young 09:13 Nora En Pure - Fibonacci 09:08 Mind Against, Dyzen - Freedom 09:04 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Diana Miro - You (Frankey & Sandrino Remix) 09:02 Christopher Von Deylen - She Never Told Him Her Name 08:57 The Dining Rooms - Existentialism (Milano Dub Mix) 08:54 Lucy Neville - Ransom 08:51 Carstn & Ten Tonne Skeleton - Safety Dance 08:47 Kate The Cat - I Was Made For Lovin You 08:43 Fritz Kalkbrenner - Good Things 08:40 Klangperlenspiel - Fraction Of Your Love 08:36 Sting - Cool Breeze 08:33 Pulsedriver & Tiscore Feat. Anna Grey - We Are 08:28 Schiller Mit Moya Brennan - Falling 08:25 Lika Morgan - Ding Dong 08:22 Leony - Faded Love (Noøn Remix) 08:19 Karsten Kiessling Feat. Zach Alwin - Live It Up (Peace, Live And Love Mix ) 08:16 Vinai - Hide Away 08:14 Meduza Feat. Goodboys - Piece Of Your Heart 08:09 Jasmon - Sanpo Suru 08:05 Sofi Tukker & John Summit - Sun Came Up (Radio) 08:02 Nihoni - After Sun 07:57 Moca - Flotter Tag 07:55 Dj Antoine Feat. Ablai - My Corazon (Dj Antoine Vs Mad Mark 2k21 Mix) 07:51 Fritz Kalkbrenner - Daylight Is Falling 07:45 Alle Farben - Sonoro (2018 Rework) 07:40 Three Drives On A Vinyl - Greece 2000 (Sebastian Davidson & Melosense Remix) 07:35 Schiller - Harmonia 07:30 Kid Massive, Yuji Ono, Dtale - Pray (Wolf Krew Remix) 07:27 Tomas Skyldeberg - Outside The Window 07:23 The Timewriter - Soulstickers 07:18 Worakls - Caprice 07:15 Majestic & Boney M. - Rasputin 07:12 Omi - Cheerleader 07:10 Mila Feat. Uwe Worlitzer - Teil Von Mir 07:05 Lyke - Stay With Me 06:59 Van Bellen - Morning Awakening 06:55 Kidsø - Fir 06:48 Beyhude - Akasha 06:44 Sting - Mad About You 06:41 Blank & Jones - Coastline 06:35 Marra Kesh Khetama - Sunshine 06:30 David Guetta, Robin Schulz, Cheat Codes - Shed A Light (Blank & Jones Remix) 06:26 Robin Schulz Feat. Alida - In Your Eyes 06:18 Rapossa - Oriental Tales 06:14 Above & Beyond - Is It Love? (1001) (Original Mix) 06:09 Atb & Anova - Route 66 06:03 Depeche Mode - Sister Of The Night 06:00 Sans Souci - Fenton 05:58 Vize & Tom Gregory - Never Let Me Down 05:52 Spiller (Royksopp's Malselves Memorabililia Mix) - Cry Baby 05:48 Robin Schulz & Felix Jaehn - One More Time 05:44 Joachim Pastor Feat. Nathan Nicholson - Saint Louis 05:38 Mahoroba - Chimes In Motion (Passion Cut) 05:36 Agatino Romero - I'm Feeling For You 05:32 Blank & Jones - Grown Minds 05:29 Mike Candys, Sb Mont & Salvo - Turned To Dust 05:22 Monolink - Don't Hold Back 05:16 The Rhythm Slaves - The Light You Will See 05:13 Kungs Feat. Jhart - Dopamine 05:10 Amely & Lvndscape - Losing My Mind 05:04 The Orb - A Beautiful Day 05:00 Klangkarussell And Givven - Follow 04:56 Above & Beyond Feat. Zoe Johnston - We're All We Need 04:51 Phil Mison - Just Landed 04:48 Trinix - Soweto 04:44 Above & Beyond Feat. Justine Suissa - Little Something 04:37 Blüchel & Von Deylen - Etoile Polaire 04:34 Lost Frequencies, Zonderling & Kelvin Jones - Love To Go 04:30 Chris Coco - Letter From Erika 04:26 Blank & Jones Feat. Kyle Pearce - All Of Me 04:19 Christopher Von Deylen - Opaque 04:15 Blank & Jones With Coralie Clement - Days Go By 04:12 Nore En Pure - In Your Eyes 04:03 Dino Lenny Feat. Artbat - Sand In Your Shoes 03:58 Cantoma - Alive 03:53 Deep Dive Corp. Feat. Dennis Le Gree - Water 03:50 Mount & Emdey - Venus 03:45 Hotlane - On My Own 03:40 Fous De La Mer - Luces 03:36 Sound Nomaden - The Morning After 03:31 Alan Walker & Gavin James - Tired (Kygo Remix) 03:29 Yves V X Bashkar - Halfway (Feat. Twan Ray) 03:23 Moby - A Case For Shame 03:17 Nora En Pure - Trailblazer (Club Mix) 03:14 Lost Frequencies X James Arthur - Questions 03:11 Meduza & Becky Hill X Goodboys - Lose Control 03:04 Armen Miran Feat. Jivan Gasp - Lost Memories 03:01 Klingande & Bright Sparks - Messiah 02:57 First Aid Kit - My Silver Lining 02:54 Julian Wassermann - Painfully 02:49 Blank & Jones - Twilight Moon 02:41 Timboletti - Strawberry Smell 02:36 Sirius & Nyla - Infinity (Remastered Remix) 02:29 Dale Anderson Feat. Anil Chawla - Pimento Grove 02:26 Mike Posner - I Took A Pill In Ibiza (Seeb Remix) 02:21 Thomas Lemmer & Andreas Bach - Sweet Lullaby 02:15 Wd2n - Sultans Of Swing (Original Mix) 02:12 Edx - Neptune 02:08 Rosa Linn - Snap 02:04 Elmara - Sky In Your Eyes 02:01 Ck West - Aldebaran 2021 01:55 Armen Miran & Hraach - Gravitation 01:52 Arizona - Oceans Away (Sam Feldt Remix) 01:48 Alle Farben & Fools Garden - Lemon Tree 01:46 George Geccoo Feat. Maik Pinto - Dolce Vita 01:40 Matvey Emerson - Luna 01:33 Julian Wassermann - People 01:31 Vievie - Sea Roses 01:25 Fluff - Silent Life 01:22 Felix Jaehn Feat. Zoe Wees - Do It Better 01:16 Lemongrass - Feel Good 01:14 Lunax & Zana - Gone Tomorrow 01:10 Nora Van Elken - Interstellar 01:07 Deepend - Only Love 01:00 Avira & Diana Miro - The Worship (Mark Knight Extended) 00:52 Timboletti - Dhunche 00:46 Mr. Sam Feat. Kristy Hawkshaw - Split 00:39 Nora En Pure - Thermal (Extended Mix) 00:32 Hraach - After Dark 00:27 Lenny Mac Dowell - Summertime 00:23 Klangkarussel & Poppy Baskcomb - This Love 00:21 Sons Of Maria - A Kiss Like This 00:14 Klangtherapeuten - Perlentaucher (Robin Schulz Remix) 00:09 Blank & Jones - High Fly 00:02 Claptone - No Eyes Feat. Jaw

[andmyvape]

"Please tell me you're not wearing that."

Elayn looked down, then back up with a wide grin. She tugged at her bright rainbow suspenders with her thumbs. "What, not tacky enough?"

Serana gave the ensemble another slow scan. "No, it's… definitely tacky. The combat boots with the khaki shorts is a nice touch."

The grin got wider as she stuffed her hands into her pockets. "They're going to be throwing candy, and I wasn't anywhere near prepared enough last time."

Serana rolled her eyes, but softened it with a smile. "You're ridiculous."

"Isn't that why we're dating?" her girlfriend asked as they headed out the door.

She took a moment to lock up while Serana laughed. "'Careless Whisper' on a boom box outside my window. I can't believe my dad didn't kill you. I know you stole that, by the way. We both went to see that movie when it came out."

"They marketed it as a romcom!" Elayn protested.

They were in the car now. It would be a trick to find parking, but they were running early thanks to Serana's habit of scheduling everything. Elayn was more the type to go with the flow, but living together had her adapted enough that the flow she went with was largely dictated by Serana's schedule. As a research chemist, she worked interesting hours at times, but Elayn was a good roommate, she cooked and cleaned, mostly because she had the time. Lacrosse wasn't a well paying sport compared to something like soccer, but the off seasons gave her plenty of time to maintain their loft. 

"Five dollars an hour?" Elayn griped as the machine printed out their ticket. 

"Homophobia strikes again," Serana said with mock solemnity. 

She snorted and wrapped an arm around her girlfriend's waste. "Which park did you say this thing started in again?" 

It was a little place surrounded by tall buildings, but it was a green patch in a city largely made out of grey. It being Pride Month, the grey was broken up by rainbows. The two wandered around as they waited for the parade to start. 

Well, at least, they started to wander when Elayn caught sight of a dog and all but dragged her girlfriend over to say hi. 

"What's his name?" she asked, so full of enthusiasm she practically floated. "Can I pet him?" 

The dog's owner, someone with a short haircut in a crop top that was orange, yellow, and white striped, nodded. "If he lets you. Sometimes he's not so-- oh gosh," they said, eyes wide as they watched Elayn kneel down and offer a hand to sniff that was immediately accepted. "You must have good vibes." 

"She's a dog person," Serana said with a laugh as the dog put its front paws on Elayn's shoulders so he could lick her face. 

"What's his name?" she asked through slobbery kisses. 

The butch grinned. "That's Duke, I'm Cas. It's nice to meet you!" 

The two introduced themselves just in time for a volunteer to come up with bottles of water. "Our city got voted best water in the state," she said cheerfully. "Take a few, it's gonna be a hot one." 

Before the march, there were speeches. The first was an introduction to the city's first pride parade since the 80s. The second was from a drag queen inviting everyone to the show later that night. Finally, the speeches were closed by an Episcopalian pastor trying to make up for the rest of Christianity's sins. 

"It's starting!" Elayn said excitedly when the crowd started to funnel out of the park. 

The march went down the sidewalk for a few blocks. Traffic was halted and the waiting cars honked while passengers waved. Elayn waved a lesbian flag, Serana had a bi flag, and the two of them dragged a rainbow striped cooler. 

"Mom! Mom!" Elayn heard behind her. "Look, it's two cicadas going at it!" 

She glanced behind her. There was a set of twins, about twelve years old, one of them draped in a trans flag and holding the cicadas that were indeed trying to reproduce. Elayn snorted and hit herself in the face trying to keep a laugh contained. "You like bugs, huh?" 

The girl in the trans flag beamed. "They're my favorite! Well, except for tarantulas, but Mom won't let me have one." 

"The rabbit gets out of its cage enough." The way the girl's mom said it, this was an age old argument. "I don't want to squash it when it ends up in my shoe."

"I had a snake when I was growing up," Serana chimed in. "A corn snake that never got out." 

The twins turned out to be part of a family unit. One twin was trans, and their older brother was too, and as Elayn found soon, was very excited to start HRT. "Get a Gc2b binder," she said. "When I'm feeling like a flat day, it works really well." 

The boy, a younger fourteen, practically floated with excitement. "I will!" 

Serana chatted with the parents while Elayn occupied the kids. "Have you folks been to Pride before?" 

Their mom, a woman named Chelsea, shook her head. "Nope, both kids came out last September and they've been talking about the festival ever since." 

"You seem like really supportive parents," Serana said. It carried the weight of one speaking who has not had contact with their parents since high school. 

Chelsea could tell, and she opened her arms for a hug that Serana was more than happy to accept. 

The march was only about a mile long, and it ended in another park. Elayn craned her neck and said, "I think I see the beer line, wait here?" 

"We will!" said the girl, who was very proud to be named Luna now. 

Serana and Chelsea shared a grin. "I guess we'll wait here," the mom said. 

It was a bit of a line, which was probably not a good thing, but apparently people were restricted on how many drinks they could buy, so at least there was that. While Elayn waited, she was joined by two people wearing pronoun pins that said "she/her". 

Elayn's jaw dropped at the sight of one of the girls' dress, which was a flowing, fae like ensemble. "Holy shit!" she said. "You look amazing!" 

She blushed and ducked her head as she smiled. "Thank you, I got it from Amazon." 

"It's her first Pride," her friend added.

That just amazed Elayn more. "With the sparkles and the green eyeshadow, I wouldn't have guessed. Everything you've got going on is just amazing."

"Thank you!" she squeaked. 

Elayn wasn't alone in thinking the dress was gorgeous. Another person came up to compliment it, and they had such dope tattoos that Elayn could not help but comment. 

"The guy that did them is great," they gushed. "He does blacklight work too!" 

So she got a website saved on her phone for the next time she really wanted to get a tattoo on top of the three she already had; scrollwork on her bicep, a wolf on her shoulder blade, and a small date on her wrist that was the day she met Serana. 

When she got back to her girlfriend and the others, an IPA in hand that was frankly piss, she told them about the girl in the fae dress. 

"I saw her!" Serana exclaimed. 

"Amazon." 

"No way." 

Next was food, especially if she was going to drink a beer. Assuming she actually drank it. "There's some food trucks," she pointed out. "I could go for a corndog." 

"I'm going to get some mac and cheese," Serana said. 

"Mom! Mom!" Luna's twin brother, Ian, tugged at his mom's sleeve. "Can we get pretzels?" 

Chelsea sighed good-naturedly. "I suppose. Do you two want to meet up after?" 

"Over by the stage?" Elayn suggested. 

The group separated. She found the line for corndogs and funnel cake. While she was waiting, the woman ahead of her glanced her way, so Elayn said, "Howdy!" 

"Hey there, hun!" She clapped her on the shoulder. "Having a good time?" 

"I am," she said with a grin. "Everyone here is so nice. There were some moms back there handing out hugs!" 

"Well, I'm a mom, would you like a hug?" 

"I would love that." 

It was a lovely hug, the woman was warm and smelled floral. When they separated, she said, "I'm Elayn! It's good to meet you. Can I get you a corndog?" 

As she pulled out her wallet, the woman waved her money away. "It's Nessa, and actually, I'd like to buy you a corndog." 

"You don't have to--" 

Nessa laughed. "I miss my daughters, you'd be doing me a favor." 

They chatted while the line went down, about lacrosse and about university. It turned out Nessa's two daughters went off to college in other cities, so it had been a while since she saw either. "I had a son," she said. "But now I have a very happy daughter, and I'm so proud of her." 

"I wish I had a mom like you," Elayn said, thinking about growing up foster care. 

Nessa grabbed her in another hug. "Now you do!" 

When she got back to Serana and the others, they were listening to the music booming from the speakers. She had to yell to tell the group about her new mom. 

Chelsea looked a little sad, because she could connect the dots, but Luna and Ian were too busy freaking out over the cotton candy Nessa had bought her too. 

Not long after, the stage was occupied. Elayn was chatting with Luna with her back turned, so she missed it until Serana tapped her shoulder and turned her around. 

"Holy shit!" She hollered and clapped at the sight of a gorgeous, sequin clad drag queen in four inch heels doing a backflip off the stage and onto grass. "Holy shit!" 

As it turned out, the drag queens took tips, and it was at that point that Elayn knew she was about to spend a lot of money. Each queen that performed, and there were many, got a five in exchange for the sheer joy Elayn got when the queen before her touched her hand. 

When there was a break in the performances, she went back to Serana, who had a smirk on her face. "Should I be jealous?" 

Elayn cupped her face, and in a fit of sheer enthusiasm, kissed her girlfriend soundly, to the delight of the twins who hooted. "Don't worry, babe," she teased. "You're the only queen for me." 

"Flatterer." Serana swatted at her chest, but the smile on her face was pleased regardless. 

It was all a blur from there. Fair food, loud music-- and Elayn found beer that wasn't piss! She taught the twins a new vocabulary of cuss words the moment she found out their mom was fine with foul language. They parted around five in the afternoon, when a voice through a megaphone warned attendants that the festival was about to start catering to adults. There was a concert with more drag queens, this time in much more risqué outfits that Elayn would have given a kidney to see on Serana. 

When she said something, her girlfriend got a light in her eye. "Really now?" she purred. "Maybe for your birthday." 

By 11pm, Elayn was high on the party atmosphere and a few beers. The festival was over, and the walk back to their car would be a trick. "Did you have fun?" she asked Serana as they walked hand in hand. 

She got a kiss on the cheek. "I'm so glad I have you. When are we getting married?"

"When I figure out how to surprise you with a ring." 

[doof-doofblog]

"Us Staying Together Is The Biggest Mistake Of All!"

Thursday 12th November 2020

Hello again everyone! Hope you're doing okay. Okay so even though I'm writing about yesterday's episode (Thursday 12th) - today is Friday 13th! I know it's just superstition, but I hope your day goes well without any issues or unfortunate happenings. I hope today will be lucky for us all! As it's Friday, EastEnders will not be on tonight due to Children In Need, which is why there was two episodes on Tuesday evening. I'm looking forward to getting right into it, so let's not dilly-dally! Let's get started!

The episode begins with Kat waiting by her Dad's taxi, it looks as if this could be the day she and Phil plan that robbery. Phil makes an appearance as he walks out of his household towards her whilst carrying a carrier bag, he makes a slight point that he won't be going into an office whilst wearing what's inside the bag. I'm beginning to wonder what it might be, considering he's doing a job with Kat, who knows! Kat informs him that they will have the whole place to themselves as everyone who works there will be working at home, but she instructs him that she will the uniform she's provided for him. Can I just mention that I am loving the recent scenes between Jessie Wallace and Steve McFadden, it must've been so much fun to film!

At the Minute Mart, (again, another brilliant scene I thought) Shirley and Tina are discussing the things that Gray owns in his house. How he specifically uses almond milk and how he owns a juicer, an ice maker, a rice cooker and all sorts, Tina appears jealous that her sister is living in the lap of luxury, but then Shirley does remind her that he has just lost his wife and he hasn't been in a good place recently. It's then she changes the subject to Mick, admitting that she hasn't been sleeping properly since Katy arrived. She reveals to Mick that since Katy appeared on the Square, she has been in the dog house and it looks like she will be for quite some time, Tina tries to reassure her sister that she was literally just trying to help her son and that he can't stay angry at her forever.

Meanwhile, out on the Square, Denise is taking little Raymond off to church. Little Raymond looks incredibly smart and yet still a bit shy as Jack approaches the young boy. Can anyone else sense that there's still love between Jack and Denise? Something tells me they might rekindle their romance, who knows - it might end up being because of little Raymond that brings them back together? They both visibly flirt with each other as they leave for the church.

In a posh looking building, Kat is waiting for Phil, only when he appears from behind she looks highly amused, and needless to say - I never thought I'd see the day that Phil would wear something with leopard print! Not looking very satisfied, he appears wearing a leopard print piny. But what followed afterwards was even more hilarious, Kat appeared to know someone who worked in the building and was making friendly conversation as Phil was stood not saying a word, Kat informed the man that he was actually named Malcolm and was her cleaning apprentice. I just love the fact that Phil just had to grin and bear it, but just to wind him up that little bit more, Kat informed the bloke that he pretty much a 5 year old stuck in a middle aged man's body. As Kat and man walked on ahead, Kat informed Phil to and clean the men's toilets, now of course, none of us can actually imagine Phil cleaning anything, least of toilets! I really do love these scenes, I hope we'll get more of Kat and Phil in the future.

At the Prince Albert, Tina is confiding in Iqra about her family issues at the moment, explaining that things are going to be completely different this year regarding Christmas if Mick and Shirley don't make up by then. Iqra tries to persuade Tina to get them together and talk things through, but Tina explains that they have already tried, Mick seems to be the one causing the problems at the minute, but whereas Shirley has done nothing but beg for her son's forgiveness, but he's just not having any of it. Tina then mentions that Mick hasn't been the same since he's moved out of the Vic, which then Iqra suggests that maybe it would help if he was given a job back at the pub, perhaps it would make him a bit happier? Tina admits that Mick wouldn't ask, but then it makes perfect sense, why doesn't she ask on his behalf? But then again, will that be something that Mick will be happy about? Who knows? He may feel right back in his element if he was back behind the Queen Vic bar.

Arriving at the church, Denise is visibly nervous as she approaches the doors. Gospel singing can be heard from behind the door, Denise turns to Jack before they enter and suggests that it was a bad idea and they turn back. But it looks to be a little too late as Raymond happily wonders in ahead of them, with a huge smile on his face he heads towards the front of the stage watching the choir singing. Denise and Jack slowly sneak in and sit at the back, taking in everything around them. Denise turns to Jack asking his thoughts, his response made me giggle a bit "Yeah, it's better than the Lord Is My Shepherd!" - with that they both smile and share a laugh, just then Denise turns to the front to see Raymond enjoying every single minute, clapping his hands with a huge smile on his face, Denise smiles seeing her son look so happy.

At the Vic, Tina has approached Ian about giving Mick a shift, at first he seems reluctant to help, explaining that they haven't got enough space on the rota. However, Sharon speaks up and claims that she is in desperate need of some help behind the bar now that her son, Albie is sleeping less. It's then that Ian agrees to give Mick and shift and that he will tell him himself, as Tina begs him not to let on about Tina asking for him.

Returning to Phil and Kat, Phil dressed in his piny and pushing along a mop bucket, walks into a room to find Kat chatting away with the man she was with earlier. Once the man disappears, Phil questions Kat on what he was talking to her about, she explains that they were talking about his Mum and how ill she's getting and that how tomorrow the place would be empty, and she has volunteered to clean again the following evening. Phil then asks her what her plan is for the following evening, it's then Kat reveals about a safe that they keep two floors down and she believes that there must be somewhere between 9/10 grand inside it, she proposes that if Phil helps her then she will split the money 50/50 and they will get £5,000 each! But Phil seems less than impressed of her idea and admits he doesn't want to risk the chance of going to prison for such a small amount of money. Much to Kat's disappointment, she kicks off at Phil for making her feel small and instructs him to finish his shift before they leave the premises.

Back on the Square, Kush approaches his stall and apologises for keeping Shrimpy on it for so long. Martin looks on as his friend makes himself comfortable on his stall, he slowly approaches him and asks whether he's okay. Kush admits that he's had a bad morning, but what happens next is what Martin reveals, he mentions to his friend that he called around and Jean informed him that Kush was still in bed, even though Kush tries to defend himself saying that it's not what he thinks and that he's put all the gambling behind him. But Martin reveals that in fact last night, he was snooping through all the poker and gambling websites trying to find his friend and reveals that it only took half an hour until he spotted his friend online gambling again. Kush once again has been caught out and admits to Martin that he simply can't help himself, he claims that he's trying his absolute best to try and fix the situation that he's caused, but Martin tries his absolute best to get through to his friend that by gambling again to get himself out of the situation is not going to help, as it was the thing that got him there in the first place! How is Kat going to react when she finds out he has once again been gambling behind her back? Especially when he promised her he wouldn't do it again!

Back at the church, the gospel singing comes to an end. Raymond is still clearly enjoying himself, after the pastor makes a speech, he notices Raymond stood right in front of him and acknowledges the little boy, saying how good it was to see him. After her persuades little Raymond to play with some toys, the pastor approaches Denise and begins informing her how nice it was to see Raymond again after they were concerned about how he never turned up again with his Grandmother. He questions who Denise is to young Raymond and she admits to him that she is in actual fact Raymond's birth mother and reveals that the little boy is now living with her. She informs him that she's seeking help regarding his family, as she hasn't been told much about them, the pastor introduces himself and smiles as if he'd be glad to help her out.

Returning to Phil and Kat, Phil is making his way to some kind of parking bay as he's taking some bins out. He seems to notice the handful or flashy cars parked up and dumps the bins to one side as he goes to take a look. As Kat appears, he questions her whether they always park their cars there, to which she admits they do as they must think it's a safe place. Phil laughs and informs her that she was in fact right, there is a job for them there, but she could've been looking at the wrong one. Something now tells me that perhaps Phil might nick one of the cars and attempt to sell it, we know that Phil is known for dodgy car deals, so perhaps this might be the way that he and Kat get a decent amount of money?

Back at the Vic, Mick is looking dapper and happy to be working a shift at the place he once called "Home!". As he makes himself comfortable behind the bar, Shirley and Tina make their way inside. Shirley is surprised to see her son working at the Vic and questions her sister, who simply just smiles and shrugs but Shirley knows instantly that he sister set it up for him. As they approach the bar, Tina, pretending to act suspicious questions her brother as to why he's there. Mick informs them that Ian approached him and asked him to help out. Tina acts very happy for her brother and happens to mention how nice it is for all of them to be back in the Vic again together.

(I know this is quite repetitive, I apologise about that!) Returning to the church, Denise is getting all the information she's seeking about Raymond. She questions whether Raymond knew he was adopted, and the pastor informs her that his parents did tell him when they felt he was at the right age to know. Sorry to be so blunt here, but am I right in thinking that Raymond is only 3 years old? Or is perhaps a little bit older? Only because a child that age I don't think will understand what being adopted means, how could they even begin to understand? Hmm - but I'm not one to judge, who knows, maybe some kids are told in their much younger years that they're adopted, I really don't know?! The pastor can tell that Denise is nervous to inform Raymond about who she really is to him, and Denise admits that she feels that she fears it would be betraying them in a way. The pastor reassures her that Raymond's adoptive parents wouldn't have seen it that way, and they would only want him to be happy and want what's best for him. He assures Denise that Raymond knows exactly who his parents are, but also gives her some food for thought, for him at such a young age, living with a stranger who he has no connection with, is bound to be confusing for him. Perhaps this may give Denise the comfort to tell him the truth about her identity? She asks whether she'll be able to bring young Raymond back to the church more often, just for him to keep that connection to his adoptive family and the pastor is more than happy to oblige.

Ahh so, Kat and Phil have returned from their cleaning job. They're sat in the Mitchell household around the table with Ben. It looks as if they have informed Ben about everything they know about the potential building and plan they have made to rob the place. As the conversation continues, Kat is adamant that it's still her job whether she came up with the plan or not, considering she was the one who found the building in the first place. As they discuss their way of getting inside and the possibility of needing another driver to make their escape. Kat informs them that she wants to make sure either Phil or Ben are inside with her, otherwise the job won't happen. It's understandable, I guess you could she wants to make sure her share of the money is safe. It sounds as if the people involved in this robbery is going to be Phil, Ben, Shirley, Kat and someone else - who is going to be that 5th party? - Who will Kat drag into doing this job with her? Kush? or Stacey? Only what they don't know is while they're discussing their plan, Callum has been listening to everything behind the door. Something tells me that their plan is going to go horribly wrong - is Callum going to use this information and tell DI Thompson that this will be the only way of getting Phil behind bars? Also I do fear that perhaps the 5th person they get involved in the plan will also cause them problems, I don't know why, but something tells me something is going to go wrong. A successful robbery between Phil, Kat, Ben, Shirley and someone else - nah! Something is going to happen!! What do you guys think?! Maybe if Ben finds out that his boyfriend knows, he could persuade him to take part?! You never know?!

Back at the Vic, Tina is adamant she's wanting to celebrate Mick working behind the bar again, back in his comfort zone. As she starts speaking about a memory about her and Mick getting drunk on vodka, she recalls how Katy had to put Mick to bed. But Mick's mood does a complete U-turn as she mentions Katy's name. Tina pleads to her brother to try and make up with Shirley, but as Mick move his arm along the bar he knocks off an expensive bottle of vodka on the floor. Ian comes from behind and (in typical Ian style) has a go at him for breaking an expensive bottle, Ian also lets slip that it was Tina who got Mick the job. Mick once again looks disappointed and leaves the pub, Tina following him as he does so. Once their outside, Tina is begging her brother to tell her what's troubling him. She mentions how she can see he's been struggling the past couple of weeks, she explains how she was trying to cheer him up by asking Ian to give him a shift at the Vic. As the camera zooms closer onto Mick's face, it looks as if he's about to admit something to her, it looks as if he's finally going to tell someone exactly what's been troubling him. But instead he tells her sister to not apologise and acknowledges that she tried to do a nice thing for him, he admits that he's not angry with her and makes up the excuse that it was hard for him to be working at the Vic as it brought back so much memories of what he missed. As he goes to walk away, he calls back to his sister not to worry about him, he reveals he'll go and stay with Lee for a few days to help clear his head. They send each other their love and as Mick walks away Tina looks over to pub to see Ian look back at her with a really smug grin. She softly speaks to herself threating Ian to enjoy it while he can - what does she mean by that?! Is she going to attempt to get the Vic back off Ian?! What do you guys think? We know Tina will be leaving, could this be the start of her exit storyline, could she get herself in so much trouble in an attempt to get the Vic back that she'll need to leave the Square? What are your thoughts of this?!

The final scene of this episode, Kat arrives home, she informs Kush that she now has Phil on her side. Kush is stunned to hear that Phil has listened to her plan. She admits that if her plan is a success, they wont have to worry about money for a long long time. They make themselves comfortable in the kitchen and Kat informs Kush about everything, the fact that Phil knows someone who will be able to give them 100 grand for the cars. The only thing they need for the plan to work is one more driver, Kush then suggests himself for the role, but Kat isn't sure whether Phil would agree, but Kush insists that seeing as he was the one to get them into this mess, he wants to help get them out. Kat admits that it's a big job and there is no room for mistakes, she makes the point that she could go to prison for doing this job, she has her children to think about. It suddenly becomes clear to Kush that she no longer trusts him, but then again - she probably has good reason to, as she makes the fair point that he has been making a lot of mistakes recently. He pushes her to admit that she doesn't trust him and eventually she does, which appears to hurt Kush as he then asks her why are they together? Why are they still a couple if she no longer trusts him? He then states that perhaps them still being together is the biggest mistake of them all and he leaves the room, leaving Kat speechless.

But does he have a point? Her point is also a valid one? Will she agree and let Kush help her out with the job? What do you guys think is going to happen? Will the robbery be a success or will something terrible happen? What do you think Callum will do now he knows the full idea that they're all planning?! I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions as to what's happening in the soap at the minute and all the storylines. Please feel free to drop me a comment or a message and I'll always reply when I can. Thank you for reading, I hope you all have a brilliant weekend! Love you all xXx

[gadgetgirl71]

Amazon First Reads September 2020

It’s that time yet again! For me and other Amazon Prime Members to take our pick of this months Amazon First Reads. So if your an Amazon Prime member don’t forget to get your free First Reads Book.

This months choices are:

Thriller

Every Missing Thing by Martyn Ford, Pages: 367, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: One family. Two missing children. A lifetime of secrets.

Ten-year-old Ethan Clarke’s disappearance gripped the nation. Just as his parents are starting to piece together a life ‘after Ethan’, their world is ripped apart once more when their daughter, Robin, disappears in almost identical circumstances. They’ve lost two children within a decade … and now doubts about their innocence are setting in.

Detective Sam Maguire’s obsession with the first case cost him his own family, but he has unfinished business with the Clarkes. He is convinced that discovering what happened to Ethan holds the key to finding Robin. But what if the Clarkes know more than they’re letting on?

With the world watching eagerly, the clock is ticking for Sam as he embarks on an investigation that forces him to confront his own demons. To uncover the truth, he must follow a trail of devastating deception—but the truth always comes at a cost …

Book Club Fiction

Millicent Glenn’s Last Wish by Tori Whitaker, Pages: 340, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: Three generations of women—and the love, loss, sacrifice, and secrets that can bind them forever or tear them apart.

Millicent Glenn is self-sufficient and contentedly alone in the Cincinnati suburbs. As she nears her ninety-first birthday, her daughter Jane, with whom she’s weathered a shaky relationship, suddenly moves back home. Then Millie’s granddaughter shares the thrilling surprise that she’s pregnant. But for Millie, the news stirs heart-breaking memories of a past she’s kept hidden for too long. Maybe it’s time she shared something, too. Millie’s last wish? For Jane to forgive her.

Sixty years ago Millie was living a dream. She had a husband she adored, a job of her own, a precious baby girl, and another child on the way. They were the perfect family. All it took was one irreversible moment to shatter everything, reshaping Millie’s life and the lives of generations to come.

As Millie’s old wounds are exposed, so are the secrets she’s kept for so long. Finally revealing them to her daughter might be the greatest risk a mother could take in the name of love.

Police Procedural

The Unspoken by Ian K Smith, Pages: 295, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: In this new series from #1 New York Times bestselling author Ian K. Smith, an ex-cop turned private investigator seeks justice on the vibrant, dangerous streets of Chicago.

Former Chicago detective Ashe Cayne is desperate for redemption. After refusing to participate in a police department cover-up involving the death of a young black man, Cayne is pushed out of the force. But he won’t sit quietly on the sidelines: he’s compelled to fight for justice as a private investigator…even if it means putting himself in jeopardy.

When a young woman, Tinsley Gerrigan, goes missing, her wealthy parents from the North Shore hire Cayne to find her. As Cayne looks into her life and past, he uncovers secrets Tinsley’s been hiding from her family. Cayne fears he may never find Tinsley alive.

His worries spike when Tinsley’s boyfriend is found dead—another black man murdered on the tough Chicago streets. Cayne must navigate his complicated relationships within the Chicago PD, leveraging his contacts and police skills to find the missing young woman, see justice done, and earn his redemption.

Contemporary Romance

Roommaids by Sariah Wilson, Pages: 301, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: From bestselling author Sariah Wilson comes a charming romance about living your life one dream at a time.

Madison Huntington is determined to live her dreams. That means getting out from under her family’s wealth and influence by saying no to the family business, her allowance, and her home. But on a teacher’s salary, the real world comes as a rude awakening—especially when she wakes up every morning on a colleague’s couch. To get a place of her own (without cockroaches, mould, or crime scene tape), Madison accepts a position as a roommaid. In exchange for free room and board, all she needs to do is keep her busy roommate’s penthouse clean and his dog company. So what if she’s never washed a dish in her life. She can figure this out, right?

Madison is pretty confident she can fake it well enough that Tyler Roth will never know the difference. The finance whiz is rich and privileged and navigates the same social circles as her parents—but to him she’s just a teacher in need of an apartment. He’s everything Madison has run from, but his kind hearted nature, stomach-fluttering smile, and unexpected insecurities only make her want to get closer. And Tyler is warming to the move.

Rewarding job. Perfect guy. Great future. With everything so right, what could go wrong? Madison is about to find out.

Literary Fiction

A Single Swallow by Zhang Ling, Pages: 299, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: The eagerly awaited English translation of award-winning author Zhang Ling’s epic and intimate novel about the devastation of war, forgiveness, redemption, and the enduring power of love.

On the day of the historic 1945 Jewel Voice Broadcast—in which Emperor Hirohito announced Japan’s surrender to the Allied forces, bringing an end to World War II—three men, flush with jubilation, made a pact. After their deaths, each year on the anniversary of the broadcast, their souls would return to the Chinese village of their younger days. It’s where they had fought—and survived—a war that shook the world and changed their own lives in unimaginable ways. Now, seventy years later, the pledge is being fulfilled by American missionary Pastor Billy, brash gunner’s mate Ian Ferguson, and local soldier Liu Zhaohu.

All that’s missing is Ah Yan—also known as Swallow—the girl each man loved, each in his own profound way.

As they unravel their personal stories of the war, and of the woman who touched them so deeply during that unforgiving time, the story of Ah Yan’s life begins to take shape, woven into view by their memories. A woman who had suffered unspeakable atrocities, and yet found the grace and dignity to survive, she’d been the one to bring them together. And it is her spark of humanity, still burning brightly, that gives these ghosts of the past the courage to look back on everything they endured and remember the woman they lost.

Supernatural Thriller

The Haunting of H G Wells by Robert Masello, Pages: 393, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: A plot against England that even the genius of H. G. Wells could not have imagined.

It’s 1914. The Great War grips the world—and from the Western Front a strange story emerges…a story of St. George and a brigade of angels descending from heaven to fight beside the beleaguered British troops. But can there be any truth to it?

H. G. Wells, the most celebrated writer of his day—author of The Time Machine, The War of the Worlds, The Invisible Man—is dispatched to find out. There, he finds an eerie wasteland inhabited by the living, the dead, and those forever stranded somewhere in between…a no-man’s-land whose unhappy souls trail him home to London, where a deadly plot, one that could turn the tide of war, is rapidly unfolding.

In league with his young love, the reporter and suffragette Rebecca West, Wells must do battle with diabolical forces—secret agents and depraved occultists—to save his sanity, his country, and ultimately the world.

Nonfiction

Welcome to The United States of Anxiety by Jen Lancaster, Pages: 288, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster is here to help you chill the hell out.

When did USA become shorthand for the United States of Anxiety? From the moment Americans wake up, we’re bombarded with all-new terrifying news about crime, the environment, politics, and stroke-inducing foods we’ve been enjoying for years. We’re judged by social media’s faceless masses, pressured into maintaining a Pinterest-perfect home, and expected to base our self-worth on retweets, faves, likes, and followers. Our collective FOMO, and the disparity between the ideal and reality, is leading us to spend more and feel worse. No wonder we’re getting twitchy. Save for an Independence Day–style alien invasion, how do we begin to escape from the stressors that make up our days?

Jen Lancaster is here to take a hard look at our elevating anxieties, and with self-deprecating wit and level-headed wisdom, she charts a path out of the quagmire that keeps us frightened of the future and ashamed of our imperfectly perfect human lives. Take a deep breath, and her advice, and you just might get through a holiday dinner without wanting to disown your uncle.

Children’s Picture Book

The Monster on the Block by Sue Ganz-Schmitt, Illustrator: Luke Flowers, Pages: 32 Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: Monster is excited to see what kind of creature will move into Vampire’s old house on the block. He even starts practicing his welcome growl for the new neighbour. But when the moving truck pulls up, it’s not a greedy goblin, an ogre, or a dastardly dragon that steps out. Instead, it’s something even more terrifying than Monster could have imagined! Monster quickly rallies the other neighbours to unite against the new guy on the block. But what if the new neighbour isn’t exactly as bad as Monster thinks? Join Monster as he confronts his fears in this charming and light-hearted look at what it means to accept others who are different from us.

*** Which book will you choose? I have no idea which book I’ll choose as there a couple of books that interest me this month. ***

#AmazonFirstReads, #Amazonkindle, #AmazonPrimeMembers, #BookClubFiction, #Books, #ChildrensPictureBook, #ContemporaryFiction, #Kindle, #KindleBooks, #LiteraryFiction, #NonFiction, #PoliceProcedural, #SupernatuarlThriller, #Thriller

[dustedmagazine]

Dusted’s Decade Picks

Heron Oblivion, still the closest thing to a Dusted consensus pick

Just as, in spring, the young's fancy turns to thoughts of love, at the end of the decade the thoughts of critics and fans naturally tend towards reflection. Sure, time is an arbitrary human division of reality, but it seems to be working out okay for us so far. We're too humble a bunch to offer some sort of itemized list of The Best Of or anything like that, though; a decade is hard enough to wrap your head around when it's just your life, let alone all the music produced during said time. Instead these decade picks are our jumping off points to consider our decades, whether in personal terms, or aesthetic ones, or any other. The records we reflect on here are, to be sure, some of our picks for the best of the 2010s (for more, check back this afternoon), but think of what follows less as anything exhaustive and more as our hand-picked tour to what stuck with us over the course of these ten years, and why.

Brian Eno — The Ship (Warp, 2016)

You don’t need to dig deep to see that our rapidly evolving and hyper-consciously inclusive discourse is taking on the fluidity of its surroundings. In 2016, a year of what I’ll gently call transformation, Brian Eno had his finger on multiple pulses; The Ship resulted. It’s anchored in steady modality, and its melody, once introduced, doesn’t change, but everything else ebbs and flows with the Protean certainty of uncertainty. While the album moves from the watery ambiguities of the title track, through the emotional and textural extremes of “Fickle Sun” toward the gorgeously orchestrated version of “I’m Set Free,” implying some kind of final redemption, the moment-to-moment motion remains wonderfully non-binary. Images of war and of the instants producing its ravaging effects mirror and counterbalance the calmly and increasingly gender-fluid voice as it concludes the titular piece by depicting “wave after wave after wave.” Is it all Salman Rushdie’s numbers marching again? The lyrics embody the movement from “undescribed” through “undefined” and “unrefined’” connoting a journey toward aging, but size, place, chronology and the music encompassing them remain in constant flux, often nearly but never quite recognizable. Genre and sample float in and out of view with the elusive but devastating certainty of tides as the ship travels toward silence, toward that ultimate ambiguity that follows all disillusion, filling the time between cycles. The disconnect between stasis and motion is as disconcerting as these pieces’ relationship to the songform Eno inherited and exploded. The album encapsulates the modernist subtlety and Romantic grace propelling his art and the state of a civilization in the faintly but still glowing borderlands between change and decay.

Marc Medwin

Cate Le Bon — Cyrk (Control Group, 2012)

There's no artist whose work I anticipated more this decade than Cate Le Bon, and no artist who frustrated me more with each release, only to keep reeling me in for the long run. Le Bon's innate talent is for soothing yet oblique folk, soberly psychedelic, which she originally delivered in the Welsh language, and continued into English with rustic reserve.

Except something about her pastoralism seems to bore her, and the four-chord arpeggios are shot through with scorches of noise, or sent haywire with post-punk brittleness. In its present state, her music is built around chattering xylophones and croaking saxophone, even as the lyrics draw deeper into memory and introspection, with ever more haunting payoffs. It's as if Nick Drake shoved his way into the leadership of Pere Ubu. She's taken breaks from music to work on pottery and furniture-making, and retreats to locales like a British cottage and Texas art colony to plumb for new inspirations. She's clearly energized by collaboration and relocation, but there’s a force to her persona that, despite her introverted presence, dominates a session. Rare for our age, she's an artist who gets to follow her muse full time, bouncing between record labels and seeing her name spelled out in the medium typefaces on festival bills.

Cyrk, from 2012, is the record where I fell in, and it captures her at something close to joyous, a half smile. Landing between her earliest folk and later surrealism, it is open to comparison with the Velvet Underground. But not the VU that is archetypical to indie rock – Cyrk is more an echo of the solo work that followed. There’s the sharp compositional order and Welsh lilt of John Cale. Like Lou Reed, she makes a grand electric guitar hook out of the words “you’re making it worse.” The homebound twee of Mo Tucker and forbidding atmosphere of Nico are present in equal parts. Those comparisons are reductive, but they demonstrate how Cyrk feels instantly familiar if you’ve garnered certain listening habits. Songs surround you with woolly keyboard and guitar hooks, and one can forget a song ends with an awkward trumpet coda even after dozens of listens. The awkwardness is what keeps the album fresh.

She lulls, then dowses with cold water. So Cyrk isn't an entirely easy record, even if it is frequently a pretty one. The most epic song here, reaching high with those woolly hums and twang, is "Fold the Cloth.” It bobs along, coiling tight as she reaches into the strange register of female falsetto. Le Bon cranks out a fuzz solo – she's great at extending her sung melodies across instruments. Then the climax chants out, "fold the cloth or cut the cloth.” What is so important about this mundane action? Her mystery lyrics never feel haphazard, like LSD posey. They are out of step with pop grandiose. Maybe when her back is turned, there's a full smile.

Who are "Julia" and "Greta,” two mid-album sketches that avoid verse-chorus structure? Julia is represented by a limp waltz, Greta by pulses on keyboards. Shortly after the release, Le Bon followed up with the EP Cyrk II made up of tracks left off the album. To a piece, they’re easier numbers than "Julia" and "Greta.” The cryptic and the scribble are essential to how Cyrk flows, which is to say it flows haltingly.

This approach dampens her acclaim and her potential audience, but that's how she fashions decades-old tropes into fresh art. She’s also quite the band leader. Drummers have a different thud when they play on her stage. Musicians' fills disappear. She brings in a horn solo as often as she lays down a guitar lead. The closer tracks, "Plowing Out Pts 1 & 2," aren't inherently linked numbers. By the second part, the group has worked up to a carnival swirl, frothing like "Sister Ray" yet as sweet as a children's TV show theme. Does that sound sinister? The effect is more like heartbreak fuelling abandon, her forlorn presence informing everyone's playing.

Fuse this album with the excellent Cyrk II tracks, and you can image a deluxe double LP 10th anniversary reissue in a few years. Ha ha no. I expect nothing so garish will happen. It sure wouldn't suit the artist. In a decade where "fan service" became an everyday concept, Le Bon is immune. She's a songwriter who seems like she might walk away from at all without notice, if that’s where her craftsmanship leads. The odd and oddly comfortable chair that is Cyrk doesn't suit any particular decor, but my room would feel bare without it.

Ben Donnelly

Converge — All We Love We Leave Behind (Epitaph)

Here’s the scenario: Heavily tatted guy has some dogs. He really loves his dogs. Heavily tatted guy goes on tour with his band. While he’s on the road, one of his dogs dies. Heavily tatted guy gets really sad. He writes a song about it.  

That should be the set-up for an insufferably maudlin emo record. But instead what you get is Converge’s “All We Love We Leave Behind” and the searing LP that shares the title. The songs dive headlong into the emotional intensities of loss and reflect on the cost of artistic ambition. The enormously talented line-up that recorded All We Love We Leave Behind in 2012 had been playing together for just over a decade, and vocalist Jacob Bannon and guitarist Kurt Ballou had been collaborating for more than twenty years. It shows. The record pummels and roars with remarkable precision, and its songs maniacally twist, and somehow they soar.  

Any number of genre tags have been stuck on (or innovated by) Converge’s music: mathcore, metalcore, post-hardcore. It’s fun to split sonic hairs. But All We Love… is most notable for its exhilarating fury and naked heart, musical qualities that no subgenre can entirely claim. Few bands can couple such carefully crafted artifice with such raw intensity. And few records of the decade can match the compositional wit and palpable passion of All We Love…, which never lets itself slip into shallow romanticism. It hurts. And it ruthlessly rocks.  

Jonathan Shaw

EMA — The Future’s Void (City Slang, 2014)

When trying to narrow down to whatever my own most important records of the decade are, I tried to keep it to one per artist (as I do with individual years, although it’s a lot easier there). Out of everyone, though, EMA came by far the closest to having two records on that list, and this could have been 2017’s Exile in the Outer Ring, which along with The Future’s Void comes terrifyingly close to unpacking an awful lot of what’s going wrong, and has been going wrong, with the world we live in for a while now. The Future’s Void focuses more on the technological end of our particular dystopia, shuddering both emotionally and sonically through the dead end of the Cold War all the way to us refreshing our preferred social media site when somebody dies. EMA is right there with us, too; this isn’t judgment, it’s just reporting from the front line. And it must be said, very few things from this decade ripped like “Cthulu” rips.

Ian Mathers

The Field — Looping State of Mind (Kompakt, 2011)

Looping State of Mind by The Field

On Looping State of Mind, Swedish producer Axel Willner builds his music with seamlessly jointed loops of synths, beats, guitars and voice to create warm cushions of sound that envelop the ears, nod the head and move the body. Willner is a master of texture and atmosphere, in lesser hands this may have produced mere comfort food but there is spice in the details that elevates this record as he accretes iotas of elements, withholding release to heighten anticipation. Although this is essentially deep house built on almost exclusively motorik 4/4 beats, Willner also plays with ambient, post-punk and shoegaze dynamics. From the slow piano dub of “Then It’s White,” which wouldn’t be out of place on a Labradford or Pan American album, to the ecstatic shuffling lope of “Arpeggiated Love” and “Is This Power” with its hint of a truncated Gang of Four-like bass riff, Looping State of Mind is a deeply satisfying smorgasbord of delicacies and a highlight of The Field’s four album output during the 2010s.

Andrew Forell

Gang Gang Dance — “Glass Jar” (4AD, 2011)

Instead of telling you my favorite album of the decade — I made my case for it the first year we moved to Tumblr, help yourself — it feels more fitting to tell you a story from my friend Will about my favorite piece of music from the last 10 years, a song that arrived just before the rise of streaming, which flattened “the album experience” to oppressive uniformity and rendered it an increasingly joyless, rudderless routine of force-fed jams and AI/VC-directed mixes catering to a listener that exists in username only. The first four seconds of “Glass Jar” told you everything you needed to know about what lie ahead, but here’s the kind of thing that could happen before everything was all the time:

I took eight hours of coursework in five weeks in order to get caught up on classes and be in a friend's wedding at the end of June. Finishing a week earlier than the usual summer session meant I had to give my end-of-class presentations and turn in my end-of-class papers in a single day, which in turn meant that I was well into the 60-70 hour range without sleep by the time I got to the airport for an early-morning flight. (Partly my fault for insisting that I needed to stay up and make a “wedding night” mix for the couple — real virgin bride included — and even more my fault for insisting that it be a single, perfectly crossfaded track). I was fuelled only by lingering adrenaline fumes and whatever herbal gunpowder shit I had been mixing with my coffee — piracetam, rhodiola, bacopa or DMAE depending on the combination we had at the time. At any rate, eyes burning, skull heavy, joints stiff with dry rot, I still had my wits enough to refuse the backscatter machine at the TSA checkpoint; instead of the usual begrudging pat-down, I got pulled into a separate room. Anyway, it was a weird psychic setback at that particular time, but nothing came of it. Having arrived at my gate, I popped on the iPod with a brand new set of studio headphones and finally got around to listening to the Gang Gang Dance I had downloaded months before. "Glass Jar," at that moment, was the most religious experience I’d had in four years. I was literally weeping with joy.

Point being: It is worth it to stay up for a few days just to listen to ‘Glass Jar’ the way it was meant to be heard.

Patrick Masterson

Heron Oblivion — Heron Oblivion (Sub Pop, 2016)

Heron Oblivion by Heron Oblivion

Heron Oblivion’s self-titled first album fused unholy guitar racket with a limpid serenity. It was loud and cathartic but also pure beauty, floating drummer Meg Baird’s unearthly vocals over a sound that was as turbulent and majestic as nature itself, now roiled in storm, now glistening with dewy clarity. The band convened four storied guitarists—Baird from Espers, Ethan Miller and Noel Harmonson from Comets on Fire and Charlie Sauffley—then relegated two of them to other instruments (Baird on drums and Miller on bass). The sound drew on the full flared wail and scree of Hendrix and Acid Mothers Temple, the misty romance of Pentangle and Fairport Convention. It was a record out of time and could have happened in any year from about 1963 onward, or it could have not happened at all. We were so glad it did at Dusted; Heron Oblivion’s eponymous was closer to a consensus pick than any record before or since, and if you want to define a decade, how about the careening riffs of “Oriar” breaking for Baird’s dream-like chants?

Jennifer Kelly

The Jacka — What Happened to the World (The Artist, 2014)

Probably the most prophetic rap album of the 2010s. The Jacka was the king of Bay rap since he started MOB movement. He was always generous with his time, and clique albums were pouring out of The Jacka and his disciples every few months. Even some of his own albums resembled at times collective efforts. This generosity made some of the albums unfocused and disjointed, yet what it really shows is that even in the times when dreams of collective living were abandoned The Jacka still had hopes for Utopia and collective struggles. It was about the riches, but he saw the riches in people first and foremost.

This final album before he was gunned down in the early 2014 is full of predictions about what’s going to happen to him. Maybe this explains why it’s focused as never before and even Jacka’s leaned-out voice has doomed overtones. This music is the only possible answer to the question the album’s title poses: everything is wrong with the world where artists are murdered over music.

Ray Garraty

John Maus — We Must Become Pitiless Censors of Ourselves (Upset The Rhythm, 2011)

We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves by John Maus

Minnesota polymath John Maus’ quest for the perfect pop song found its apotheosis on his third album We Must Become Pitiless Censors of Ourselves in 2011. On the surface an homage to 1980s synth pop, Maus’ album reveals its depth with repeated listens. Over expertly constructed layers of vintage keyboards, Maus’ oft-stentorian baritone alternately intones and croons deceptively simple couplets that blur the line between sincerity and provocation. Lurking beneath the smooth surface Maus uses Baroque musical tropes that give the record a liturgical atmosphere that reinforces the Gregorian repetition of his lyrics. The tension between the radical ironic banality of the words and the deeply serious nature of the music and voice makes We Must Become Pitiless Censors of Ourselves an oddly compelling collection that interrogates the very notion of taste and serves an apt soundtrack to the post-truth age.

Andrew Forell

Joshua Abrams & Natural Information Society — Mandatory Reality (Eremite, 2019)

Mandatory Reality by Joshua Abrams & Natural Information Society

Any one of the albums that Joshua Abrams has made under the Natural Information Society banner could have made this list. While each has a particular character, they share common essences of sound and spirit. Abrams made his bones playing bass with Nicole Mitchell, Matana Roberts, Mike Reed, Fred Anderson, Chad Taylor, and many others, but in the Society his main instrument is the guimbri, a three-stringed bass lute from Morocco. He uses it to braid melody, groove, and tone into complex strands of sound that feel like they might never end. Mandatory Reality is the album where he delivers on the promise of that sound. Its centerpiece is “Finite,” a forty-minute long performance by an eight-person, all-acoustic version of Natural Information Society. It has become the main and often sole piece that the Society plays. Put the needle down and at first it sounds like you are hearing some ensemble that Don Cherry might have convened negotiating a lost Steve Reich composition. But as the music winds patiently onwards, strings, drums, horns, and harmonium rise in turn to the surface. These aren’t solos in the jazz sense so much as individual invitations for the audience to ease deeper into the sonic entirety. The music doesn’t end when the record does, but keeps manifesting with each performance. Mandatory Reality is a nodal point in an endless stream of sound that courses through the collective unconscious, periodically surfacing in order to engage new listeners and take them to the source.

Bill Meyer

Mansions — Doom Loop (Clifton Motel, 2013)

I knew nothing about Mansions when I first heard about this record; I can’t even remember how I heard about this record. But I liked the name of the album and the album art, so I listened to it. Sometimes the most important records in your decade have as much to do with you as with them. I’d been frantically looking for a job for nearly two years at that point, the severance and my access Ontario’s Employment Insurance program (basically, you pay in every paycheck, and then have ~8 months of support if you’re unemployed) had both ran out. I was living with a friend in Toronto sponsoring my American wife into the country (fun fact: they don’t care if you have an income when you do that), feeling the walls close in a little each day, sure I was going to wind up one of those kids who had to move back to the small town I’d left and a parent’s house. There were multiple days I’d send out 10+ applications and then walk around my neighbourhood blasting “Climbers” and “Out for Blood” through my earbuds, cueing up “La Dentista” again and dreaming of revenge… on what? Capitalism? There was no more proximate target in view. That’s not to say that Doom Loop is necessarily about being poor or about the shit hand my generation (I fit, just barely) got in the job market, or anything like that; but for me it is about the almost literal doom loop of that worst six months, and I still can’t listen to “The Economist” without my blood pressure spiking a little.

Ian Mathers

Protomartyr — Under Colour of Official Right (Hardly Art, 2014)

Under Color of Official Right by Protomartyr

By my count, Protomartyr made not one but four great albums in the 2010s, racking up a string of rhythmically unstoppable, intellectually challenging discs with absolute commitment and intent. I caught whiff of the band in 2012, while helping out with editing the old Dusted. Jon Treneff’s review of All Passion No Technique told a story of exhilarant discovery; I read it and immediately wanted in. The conversion event, though, came two years later, with the stupendous Under Color of Official Right, all Wire-y rampage and Fall-spittled-bile, a rattletrap construction of every sort of punk rock held together by the preening contempt of black-suited Joe Casey. Doug Mosurock reviewed it for us, concluding, “Poppier than expected, but still covered in burrs, and adeptly analyzing the pain and suffering of their city and this year’s edition of the society that judges it, Protomartyr has raised the bar high enough for any bands to follow, so high that most won’t even know it’s there.” Except here’s the thing: Protomartyr jumped that bar two more times this decade, and there’s no reason to believe that they won’t do it again. The industry turned on the kind of bands with four working class dudes who can play a while ago, but this is the band of the 2010s anyway.

Jennifer Kelly

Tau Ceti IV — Satan, You’re the God of This Age, but Your Reign Is Ending (Cold Vomit, 2018)

Satan, You're The God of This Age But Your Reign is Ending by Tau Ceti IV

This decade was full of takes on American primitive guitar. Some were pretty good, a few were great, many were forgettable, and then there was this overlooked gem from Jordan Darby of Uranium Orchard. Satan, You’re the God of This Age, but Your Reign Is Ending is an antidote to bland genre exercises. Like John Fahey, Darby has a distinct voice and style, as well as a sense of humor. Also like Fahey, his playing incorporates diverse influences in subtle but pronounced ways. American primitive itself isn’t a staid template. Though there are also plenty of beautiful, dare I say pastoral moments, which still stand out for being genuinely evocative.

Darby’s background in aggressive electric guitar music partly explains his approach. (Not sure if he’s the only ex-hardcore guy to go in this direction, but there can’t be many.) His playing is heavier than one might expect, but it feels natural, not like he’s just playing metal riffs on an acoustic guitar. But heaviness isn’t the only difference. Like his other projects, Satan is wonderfully off-kilter. This album’s strangeness isn’t reducible to component parts, but here are two representative examples: “The Wind Cries Mary” gradually encroaches on the last track, and throughout, the microphone picks up more string noise than most would consider tasteful. It all works, or at least it’s never boring.

Ethan Milititisky

Z-Ro — The Crown (Rap-a-Lot, 2014)

When singing in rap was outsourced to pop singers and Auto Tune, Z-Ro remained true to his self, singing even more than he ever did. He did his hooks and his verses himself, and no singing could harm his image as a hustler moonlighting as a rapper. He can’t be copied exactly because of his gift, to combine singing soft and rapping hard. It’s a sort of common wisdom that he recorded his best material in the previous decade, yet quite apart from hundreds of artists that continued to capitalize on their fame he re-invented himself all the past decade, making songs that didn’t sound like each other out of the same raw material. The Crown is a tough pick because since his post-prison output he made solid discs one after each other.

Ray Garraty

[cowgirlontheloose]

Hello Central, Give Me Heaven

Hello Central, give me Heaven

For I know my mother’s there…

And you’ll find her with the angels

Over on the golden stair...

How did Bluegrass get a hold on a clan of middle class Scottish Presbyterians in rural Quebec during the 1950s? I’ve long wondered why my brothers and I, my son, a sprinkling of nephews and now my two granddaughters — the eldest who is aiming for a science degree at university — fell under its high lonesome spell.

I can’t speak for my brothers, but Bluegrass has been a godsend for this repressed black sheep girl-child growing up in the miasma of “Father Knows Best” and “I Love Lucy”.  Where else could I safely wallow in lyrics such as  …Get that dust off the Bible and redeem your poor, poor soul. Plus Bluegrass brings death to the conversation with every breath, something that White Anglo Saxon Protestants prefer to ignore until far too late. I’ve always admired those who address elephants in the room. Go tell that ball room lady/ All dressed in worldly pride/ That death’s dark train is coming/ Prepare to take a ride.

Before the Hamilton clan met Bluegrass, however, came the rock n’ roll revolution. My hormones exploded. Hello Bill Hayley, Chuck Berry and Jerry Lee Lewis! In a tossing sea of ponytails and tinkling charm bracelets I shrieked at Elvis during “Jailhouse Rock" in Ottawa’s jam-packed Capitol Theatre. Goodbye to music charts topped by crooners Perry Como and Doris Day. Farewell to Dad’s stack of blues and jazz records:  Billie Holiday, Cab Calloway and Woody Herman.

My girlfriend Joanie and I jived in our living room caroling:  …we’re gonna rock, rock, rock till ba-rod daylight…  Mum observed, her face a blank. Our two hounds rose from their snooze and left the room. Upstairs my older brother, Ian, a Johnny Cash wannabe, whaled on his guitar, moaning “…his earthly race is over and the curtains round him fall, We’ll carry him home to Dixie on the Wabash Cannonball.” Then there was Dad, quite likely downstairs soaking up a chunky stack of 78 rpms. I can see him now, a long leg cocked over one arm of his favourite chair, rustling through the newspaper to Glenn Miller’s  “Tuxedo Junction”:  Feelin’ low, rockin’ slow, I want to go right back where I belong…

My father had a 4-string Silver Belle banjo which he never played. He was sheepish about it; said he’d only played when he was courting Mum. He wore a straw boater then and a bow-tie too. “Well, it worked” he said, waggling his hands like some vaudeville gigolo.

My younger brother, Derek, showed no musical leanings whatever until the day he vanished into his room with the Silver Belle and a Pete Seeger record on learning the banjo. He taped  “Do Not Enter” to his door and was incommunicado for six months. My friend Jane still remembers listening to him struggle through “Darling Cory” played to a dangling phone receiver. 

“No wait — I gotta start again. Wait! Listen to this!” 

But one day he emerged, purchased a 5-string long necked banjo and wowed us all with his Scruggs 3-finger picking style. 

Our friends were soaking up Bob Dylan, Joan Baez or The Brothers Four, but we fell like miserable sinners, my brothers and I, to the down-home delivery and heartache harmonies of Bluegrass. We gloried in graves in the valley, Memphis trains, bootleg likker, burdens and lonesome souls. We worshipped like hungry hounds at the feet of Bill Munroe, The Greenbriar Boys and Flat and Scruggs. We need a whole lot more a’ Jesus and a lot less rock n’ roll.

My mother, whose middle name was Cultured, did her best to steer us right. Had she been a Bluegrass lover, she would have played Vince Gill singing Come to Jesus today, let him show you the way/ You’re drifting too far from the shore…   Instead she put Beethoven or Mozart on our stereo player, then served up bacon and eggs to my brothers and I at our glossy dining room table. Morning sun spattered rainbows from glass prisms in a girandole on the sideboard while we sat like lumps, barely awake. We rolled our eyes.

My Presbyterian ancestors I suspect viewed all emotions with narrowed eyes. The notion of long-gone generations of Elizabeths and Johns stomping along to “Foggy Mountain Breakdown” or “Rollin’ In My Sweet Baby’s Arms” seems a stretch. Yet according to many sources, including Bluegrass aficionado Pastor Fred Martie of Missouri’s KJAB 88.3 Christian Radio, that soulful Bluegrass energy lurks in my DNA. The Irish and Scots who came to America in the 1600s brought the roots of Bluegrass with them. So did the African American slaves. Over centuries the two traditions entwined, evolved, but it took Kentuckian Bill Munroe’s musical genius to braid those tangled roots into Bluegrass. In 1939, he swerved away from traditional country music with his group The Bluegrass Boys. They sang hard-driven harmonies accompanied by mandolin, banjo, fiddle, guitar and bass. When Earl Scruggs joined the band in 1945 with his innovative banjo-picking, classic Bluegrass was born.

I am now pushing 80 and Bluegrass still rambles round my soul.  I’m a long-gone Christian, lapsed dabbler in Hinduism, a Buddhist groupie and a traveller in Western mysteries plus friend to Tarot archetypes (call me The Fool) along with a heavenly host of gods, goddesses and deities. 

Like Walt Whitman, I am large; I contain multitudes. 

I’ve had epiphanies and train wrecks with all of it. Yet running like a mountain echo throughout has been Bluegrass, especially the gospel tunes. There’s nothing like it to soothe this wandering soul:  …Sometimes it’s dark, sometimes you’ll swear you’re blind/ But I believe that we'll be all right/ As long as you keep on/ Lookin’ for the light.

Or as some Bluegrass tenor named Slim or maybe Doc nailed it:  I’m just a pilgrim on this road, boy,/ This ain’t never been my home.

[jusdisslotus]

Attack on Stainglass #13: Clingy Brighton

http://fav.me/dchvr21

A blush from secondhand embarrassment began to spread, over the bridge of his nose when he saw that Thorn had removed his jean-jacket and his shirt as well, revealing his perfectly-sculpted abs. Thorn hissed lightly, in pain as he touched a hand to the black slime that was oozing from the obvious cut that was just, along the center of his diaphragm. With a sigh, Thorn picked, up his worn-out Bible and began to read from it.

Yeah sure, a pastor such as Thorn who doesn’t look like he works out and is rather wimpy throughout most of the story has “perfectly sculpted abs.” Just sounds like useless, no sense making fan service to me.

“I really don’t want anyone else to know about this but you, Lord…Brighton is already angry with me and if he finds out about this, he’ll just make fun of me and tell me that I deserve it…The others will grow to hate me as well…” Thorn’s eyes began to fill with thick, blackened tears as he struggled, desperately to keep them from spilling, over.

The fact that he’d think Brighton would say such a shitty thing to him proves my point even further on how the 2 aren’t compatible as friends and how it isn’t a believable friendship.

So now Brighton’s trying to hunt down the child to give him a beating or whatever and Monarch asks him what’s up.

“Do you remember how Thorn was coughing, earlier?” Monarch asked.

“Yeah, I remember his stupid, loud, annoyin’ coughin’! What about it?!” Brighton snapped.

“Well, I followed Thorn to see if I could discover the source of his strange coughing-fits and well…I think he may have The Sludge…” Monarch worriedly informed him.

“The Sludge?” Brighton sounded momentarily concerned, even though Melania was currently unable to see the expression on his countenance due to the fact that his back was turned to her.

“Ah, whatever! He prob’ly just has The Sludge ‘cause he knows he screwed up!” Brighton scoffed as he turned to continue on his way, along the corridors.

“But Brighton, Thorn said this disease was serious!” Monarch exclaimed as he quickly sprinted, after Brighton. Melania gently turned her body to watch them leave as that all-too, familiar feeling of anger began to boil within her. She knew why Thorn had contracted The Sludge and she knew for a fact that Brighton had not been the one who was responsible for infecting him with it. Thorn and Brighton have gotten into petty arguments that were much worse than this one before and none of those prior disagreements were serious enough to give Thorn The Sludge. Besides, what friendship never had their petty differences?

“Relax, Q.-er…I mean, M. Thorn’s not entirely an idiot; he knows how to take care of himself. Once he quits bein’ stubborn and makes this all up to me, his little Sludge-problem will go bye-bye…” Brighton reassured.

Omg Thorn was right about what Brighton would say. God, Brighton’s such a petty bitch, his “friend” has this serious disease and all he cares about is Thorn “making it up to him”. Making it up to him?? Thorn doesn’t have to make up shit! It’s not Thorn’s fault that Brighton’s inept at being responsible and has to clean up the messes he made, Brighton’s so clingy and bitchy he’s UNBEARABLE.

The word: ‘Preach,’ was a word that had been unable to make Melania chuckle, beneath her breath for quite, some time but that word was such an ironic word that she could have ever used to describe the non-believing enemy to all.

Non-believing enemy? What’re you trying to get at here? What does being a non-believer have to do with anything?

http://fav.me/dcnfn0v

“The dark deed you’ve requested is done…Soon, all The Churches of the World will be destroyed…” A woman in a masquerade mask explained to Helva, Ian and Lainey. Behind the masked-woman, stood three, other, masked figures who were just as ominous as her.

“I don’t know…Something…just feels wrong about all this…I mean, we just went against everything we ever stood for to destroy someone else…” Helva sighed, beginning to have second thoughts about her actions.

“It’s just this one time…Anything will be worth it to destroy those bigots after what they did to our group…” Ian argued.

“That Church…They were different…They were never bigots…They openly accepted the L.G.B.T. Community with open arms…They never once tried to change any of them but we…we just slandered Thorn for not following the typical, Christian stereotype…” Helva finally began to realize the error of her ways.

“Helva, are you seriously thinking of backing out after they killed all of our friends? Your family members?” Ian reminded.

“You’re right…” Hela reluctantly agreed with Ian as she let out a sigh but she was still unable to shake the guilt she felt about going against someone who agreed with her on a certain topic. She had just contradicted herself by calling Thorn out for allowing gays as well as transgenders to attend his sermons without trying to change their minds at all, for teaching them about how God was a loving Father, Who accepted all of His children, no matter what. However, she proceeded to smother the guilt with the horrific memories of Brighton turning her cousins into nothing more than ashes that scattered away in the wind, before her eyes.

This is why I feel worse for Helva than any of the main protagonists. She has some sort of conscience, she thinks about her actions afterwards and actually feels some sort of guilt. Sure, it’s forced and it’s trying to make the church look good even though Thorn literally can’t help anyone that doesn’t convert and can’t even get anyone mature enough to watch the orphans but it still gives her more layers. And she ends up getting rid of the guilt by thinking about how Brighton murdered all of her friends and family in cold blood. She debates with herself and her thought process is sort of believable.

Aaaand then Melania supposedly vores her or something.

“Look at you…You truly are pathetic…That is why you go around destroying people’s lives…so you can have this entire, fallen planet as a ‘safe-space’ all to yourself…You think you are just so edgy but you are and always will be a pathetic, scared, spoiled, little child…Once I am through with you, The World really will be a safe-space…” Melania taunted Helva before turning her back to her to reveal the head of a Venus Fly-Trap that was protruding from the back of her head.

Melania’s smirk of satisfaction was hidden behind her paper-plate mask whilst she listened to the cries of Helva as her vine-tentacles pulled the struggling-girl into her new, second mouth.

Melania just looks like the villain here. She talks and acts like one in this scene and even gives a smug smirk like Brighton does. Yeah, I’m totally rooting for Maniac number 2 as she eats Helva while she screams and cries out.

“Finally caughtcha, ya little brat!” Bradly was horrified when he looked up to see Brighton standing over him. The blond appeared to be more furious than Bradly had personally ever seen him.

“You won’t come between me and my best-buddy anymore…” Brighton growled before running his index and middle fingers along his ruler.

“And Micheal, The Arch Angel struck him DEAD!” Brighton chanted as each number and line on his ruler began to glow.

“No! No! Please!” Bradly begged, on the verge of tears as Brighton raised his ruler, above his head in preparation to strike.

“Brighton! Stop!” Thorn shouted from across the hall, despite the endless amount of Sludge pouring from every exit-hole on his body. Brighton stopped in his tacks, dropping his ruler at the sight of how sick Thorn looked.

Is Brighton REALLY about strike a child DEAD because he got in the way of him and Thorn hanging out even though it’s Brighton’s fault he’s loose in the church? ARE WE SUPPOSED TO LIKE BRIGHTON OR NOT??? WHAT A CLINGY PIECE OF SHIT.

So then the kid calls them gay and cringey. The sludge makes Thorn snap and makes him yell at the kid, saying:

“The only thing that is ‘cringey’ is that your parents actually let a selfish, ungrateful, bratty, emo-wannabe, wall-eyed, giggling, stuttering, smirking, glass-smashing, DISEASE-RIDDEN abomination like you draw breath!”

“That’s right, I said it: Your parents should have been ProChoice because you do not deserve to breathe the same air as us, you filthy, pile of donkey ca-ca in human-form but yet, here you are, burdening us with your boondoggling!”

“If you’re so miserable, then just die! FIND A DARK HOLE TO CRAWL INTO AND DIE!”

And then Thorn drops unconscious

[koganphrancis]

And Now Shameless Slanders The Littlest Milkovich?  FUCK YOU

My recap of Season H8 Episode H8

They really had Vee refer to Yevgeny as a “little psychopath”, just to retcon every decent Milkovich that ever was.  Completely unnecessary and untrue, and WHERE THE FUCK IS IAN, WHY ISN’T HE IN THIS KID’S LIFE ANYMORE, HE STATED FLAT OUT HE LOVED YEVGENY.  Thank goodness there’s a gif of a Henckel flipping the bird to help me through this trying time.

I’ll try to temper my bitterness for the rest of this, but I make no guarantees.  

That horrific remark about an innocent child aside, this episode had little to get me riled up over-it was one of the most boring episodes they’ve ever done-every week they seem to outdo themselves on that front.  

This piece of shit-pardon me-episode was written by day-to-day showrunner Nancy Pimental and it was either her lame attempt at trying to win Macy that Emmy OR her purposely sabotaging him, because his storyline was the longest and most painfully unfunny this week.  

Also it was directed by Emmy Rossum and she gave herself a shit ton of close ups which I suppose is her prerogative and heaven knows the writer didn’t give her much story to shoot.  

This week opens with the dog Rusty staring at a still in bed Fiona and kicks off the aforementioned close ups.  I still want that dog to be explained-the law isn’t “dogs that have eaten human flesh must be destroyed-unless someone’s willing to take a chance on rescuing them”.  Why is there zero fucking research on this show?

Meanwhile, Franny’s screaming but Debs is too busy in the bathroom taking a half dozen pregnancy tests and acting like the world owes her something-that will be her theme throughout the episode, as it has been for the past few seasons. 

Nancy tries to capture some of that “all the Gallaghers in one place at one time” magic by having everyone crowd around the bathroom and giving Ian his first spoiled toddler line of the ep, “Guess I won’t shower today-gonna get filthy anyway cleaning that shitty building my sister found for homeless kids.”  Whatever that meaningful moment on Ian’s bed was last episode is being forgotten or ignored by this dumbass show.  Will it ever be revisited?  Who knows. 

Lip, who this season is like Mrs. Kravitz on Bewitched and seems to have this compelling need to insert himself into other people’s drama while ignoring his own, volunteers to take Debbie to Planned Parenthood where she again acts like a total bitch who needs a reality check, and where Lip just happens to be there to see Charlie (Snore’s ex) walk in with a very pregnant woman.  Such fortuitous timing!

There’s a gross scene of Carl peeing into a toilet between Kassidi’s legs as she sits on the back of the toilet-good god, Nancy, is that what you think the kids are into these days?  All I’m gonna say about Kassidi is that she’s exactly like Sammi only younger and even more charmless.  Whoever the fuck thought the show needed that vibe back needs to be fired.  And I get that Carl is supposed to be thinking with his self-inflicted deformed dick, but, really?  After seeing his father and Monica over the years, plus living with Sammi for a bit, he wouldn’t know enough to run from that type of chick?

Frank has this totally convoluted “only on Shameless” business venture going where he’s going to smuggle immigrants who feel unsafe in the USA over the Canadian border and bring back his car loaded with prescription drugs.  Sure, Frank.  Anyway, the only scene of note in the many long and boring scenes he got this week is when he’s listing talented Canadians-and when he DOESN’T say “Noel Fisher” we all hear it anyway and laugh at this lame show for letting all that talent go.  Assholes.  

Instead of recycling Mickey’s shirts this week, the show does something even more stupid: they use the VFW hall where Mickey got married as the new youth shelter AND they use the basement where Mickey and Ian banged before his wedding as the food bank Debbie goes to!  Okay, Cam, I gotta say, that’s a version of audacious-reminding us of those classic Mickey moments the show can’t come close to having using any of the characters they’ve kept on.  

Speaking of Mickey (not that the show ever does), Nancy tries to recreate some of that old Mickey magic with having Terror call Ian a “Negative Nellie” when he bitches some more about the new youth shelter.  Pinning nicknames on Ian is a Mickey thing only-why are they constantly reminding us of the gaping holes that losing Noel has left?

Anyway, here’s how Nancy tried to bring some shit talking South Side back into the show: Ian: This place is a dump. Terror (to Geneva): Don’t listen to Negative Nellie he’s still mad about the church. I: (sarcastic) Ye-ah, cuz you got pity fucked by my sister with this building. T: (imitates Ian) Ye-ah-and she was really good.

Side note-can you imagine Ian ever trying to joke with Mickey about him fucking his sister?  Sheesh.

I: I bet-she’s great at getting what she wants and screwing everybody else.

WTF?  Has Nancy ever seen the show?  Fiona always winds up screwing herself over.  I’m not a huge fan of Fiona’s big sister act, but even I can admit she sacrificed a lot for her younger siblings and never did things to screw them while advancing herself.  The thing Ian should be mad about is Fiona’s comments about Mickey-and even then she didn’t screw Mickey or Ian, she just said some stupid shit that Ian didn’t have to listen to.

Anyway, Geneva tells Ian and Terror about the gay conversion church, so now I know taking on organized religion wasn’t what Ian referred to as “larger concerns”.  One of the youths tried to commit suicide after being subjected to it, so Ian and Terror go visit him and the kid holds up his bandaged wrists and asks if they like his hot wristbands and even though it’s canon that Ian witnessed his mother moments after she slit her wrists and Terror spent his prom night in an emergency room because he slit his, neither of them bat an eye or react in any way to the kid’s injuries.  

Emmy throws in a way too long scene of Fiona dancing around in her underwear (after more way too long Frank scenes).  Again it amazes me how this show just recycles the same shit over and over-anyone remember Fiona’s happy dance in the church she went to check out for her and Sean to get married in?  

Ford catches her in the act and entices her to go out and look at Chicago architecture with him-I want the jobs that either of them have where they have all the free time in the world to lollygag.  And why is the show wasting all this time on all this crap in one episode?  Paint drying on those historic buildings would’ve been more interesting to watch than this hour of television.  

At the end of their tour, Ford shows her the inside of a house he’s working on (all by himself, apparently, I guess he doesn’t work with a crew) and asks her to lie down on an improbably placed mattress and she’s a tad hesitant at first, but when she does it, he points out art on the ceiling to her.  She’s impressed with its beauty and then starts making out with Ford in a total recreation of Ian with Faileb and thinking that guys who show any bit of interest in them as people must want to fuck them.  It was stupid with Faileb, it’s stupid with Ford.  

There’s a scene somewhere along the line with Kev and Vee that’s bordering on spousal abuse-I really wish they’d end this “Kev grows some balls” idea immediately. "Big neanderthal man” is not a thinking person’s idea of an ideal partner.  

Ugh, now for more of the Ian crap.  He goes home and asks if they have a Bible laying around.  He finds one, and the next day-THE VERY NEXT DAY-he and Terror go to the gay conversion church and Ian gets into a Bible quoting match with the pastor/minister/whatever he is.  I’m sure Cam was hard as a rock thinking he was coming off like Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, but the movie character I was thinking of was Rain Man-how else could he have memorized several Bible passages overnight unless he’s some sort of idiot savant?  

Terror is basically an Ian accessory in the scene-a backpack or a briefcase or a Trapper Keeper, holding Ian’s Bible for him until he needs it.  And the whole, “We’ll probably be banging again soon” right after Terror calls himself Ian’s ex was stupid-not funny or sexy, which I bet was what good old Nancy was going for. 

Cut to a scene of Snore getting a bit of a story thread that they probably originally kicked around for Mandy, and she has the triggering line that she’ll “run away to Mexico” if her father is released from prison.  Sure, Snore, whatever.  

Then there’s the scene where Kev is trying out his domineering dick act for the second time this ep on Svetlana, and Vee gets turned on and hands Yev over to Svetlana calling him that P word.  Fuck you, bitch.  I hope Svetlana is scheming to fuck Kev and Vee over big time-they have a scene where it looks like Svet’s doing that, but with this show, who knows if it’ll be alluded to again?

In the time it took Ian and Terror and the refugees from the gay conversion church to walk to the youth shelter, a video a person recorded at the church on her phone has been uploaded to You Tube and Geneva tells Ian it has a thousand hits already-cuz, yeah, Nance, that’s how the You Tube works.  Homeless kids working to clean up a dilapidated building have their iPhones turned on to get alerts whenever a video that has anything to do with gays gets posted to YT and they all drop everything and watch it.  

The only other thing I want to mention is the preview for next week-they show a quick clip of Ian and Terror pulling their shirts off that’s a ripoff of Mickey and Ian’s first time, a shot of Ian watching Terror asleep next to him in his bed where he’s awkwardly as fuck touching his face, and then a clip of Ian saying, “Kinda nice-us being a thing again.”  (WHAT HAPPENED TO GET OFF MY PORCH, DICK????  But I digress.)  Terror answers, “Jury’s still out.”  Well, if by jury he means FANS, we handed down our verdict a long time ago.  

I wonder if the show is trying to set up them finding their way to be a “true” couple (GAG), and then “tragedy” will strike and pull them apart when Ian gets arrested and they think  it’ll be poignant and painful for the fans, when actually we’ll be cheering and yelling, “Throw Ian in prison for 15 years, bitches!  Throw away the key and don’t have anyone visit!  Have Terror say it’s too painful for him to see him behind glass like that!!!!”  

But then again, this show is so inconsistent maybe that’s not where they’re headed at all.  Maybe they just think Ian needs the chase to stay interested, and for some misguided reason the writers think that’s what the fans want to see.  

We really, really don’t, though.  

And I can’t say it enough: Fuck this show for that line about little Yev.  It seemed like another very deliberate slap to the face of Mickey Milkovich fans everywhere.  

[saltydogscast]

When Pastors Aren't Actually Pastors

*Welcome this guest blogger and SDP listener to the Salty Blog! Thank you Jean Gaffer for the article.

What is the difference between a Preacher and Pastor? Many would say that the words are synonymous, and simply different titles for the same role within the church. However, I venture to say that the two are very different. Not all gifted preachers are gifted pastors. I dare go further to say that if you are just a preacher, do not attempt to be a pastor! Before I go further, I want to clarify a few things so that you truly understand my point of view and my reason for writing this blog.

First, please do not take my statement above as me diminishing the role of a Preacher. Just as Paul said that all gifts of the Spirit are necessary to the church, I too see both roles as vitally important to the edification of the church (1 Corinthians 12). However, I have witnessed many of those that are gifted Preachers trying to stretch their gifts to be Pastors and when one attempts to do that, they end up Pastoring from the flesh and not from the Spirit. This has caused feelings of hurt among those in the congregation and creates a burden for those in leadership in attempts to keep them as a member of the church.

I have witnessed many come through the doors of my church that left their last church because of feeling let down by their previous “Pastor” and I have watched many leave the doors of my church to never return for the same reason. When someone calls themselves a Pastor, it creates an idea to the congregation of what you will do for them. If they are hurting, they expect a Pastor to answer their text or accept a meeting with them to talk. If they are tempted, they expect a Pastor to be there to lead them in the right direction. If they feel they have a mission from God, they expect the Pastor to at least help them discern that calling and lead them in the right direction to follow it.

If these expectations are not met, it creates a hurt that takes much more time and effort to attempt to mend, or even worse it can diminish the view of the role of Pastor. It is this diminishment of the role of Pastor that has led so many to walk away from the church. It is no wonder that over half of those that call themselves Christian do not attend church or only feel it necessary to watch services online. I can go to any social media platform and find Preachers giving a sermon. And if that is all people expect from a “pastor” why then do they need to be a part of a church family? The statement I pose raises a question; what is the difference between a pastor and a preacher?

This can be answered simply by looking at the meaning and etymology of the words. Etymonline.com is a good place to start for this. The word “preach” is derived from late Latin praedicare meaning “to proclaim publicly or announce.” In today’s terms, it simply means to “deliver a sermon, proclaim the Gospel.” When led by the Spirit, a preacher can deliver a sermon that changes hearts and brings about the salvation of lost souls. The word pastor, on the other hand, brings about a whole different connotation. The word “pastor” is direct from Latin meaning “shepherd” which was derived from earlier Latin pastus meaning “to feed; tend, guard, protect.”

Let me break down the difference for you, a preacher is gifted to “feed” a flock with a message while a pastor is called to not just feed but to tend, guard, and protect the flock. What does it mean to tend, guard, and protect the flock? Having dealt with livestock in my life, I can tell you it means dropping what you are doing when a sheep is hurt, it means watching your flock to make sure that they are not going in places that they shouldn’t be, it means long nights of watching the horizon for the other animals that seek to steal, kill, and destroy those sheep that it may devour.

So, for a pastor, this means that one must not just feed the flock. It means that a pastor must be willing to take the time to meet with members of their congregation to counsel in any facet of the term, it means having the ability to call out members of the congregation with love and honor when they are doing things that are not becoming of a Christian, it means being willing to spend sleepless nights ensuring that the flock is protected from the attacks of the enemy, it means spending the time to truly know your flock and for them to know you. This role requires sacrifice, humility, and a Spirit-led love for the flock in which God has entrusted in their care. Are there sacrifices with being a preacher? Yes, but not at the same level as a pastor.

The big question: Are you a preacher trying to be a pastor without the gifting of the Spirit to pastor?

Are you simply feeding your congregation? Are you taking the time to tend to those in your congregation that are hurt to help them heal from an “amputation” as CS Lewis put it? Are you taking the time to protect them from themselves? Are you taking the time to get to know them? Are you taking the time to watch for the signs of the enemy trying to take hold of their lives? The simple way to answer this is to ask yourself this: “Am I being the pasture or am I being the pastor?” Are you simply the food or are you the Shepherd leading your flock to the food with safety and love? But what to do if after reading this you have found that you are a preacher and not a Pastor?

What do you do if you are a Preacher trying to fill a Pastor’s role? The first thing that you MUST do for the sake of your congregation, is to restructure the leadership below you. Members of the church expect all of the duties of a pastor to be filled in a church, so if it is not you that is filling them you need to find someone that will. This does not mean that you must step down as the head of the church you are leading, but you must clearly delegate those responsibilities to the leaders working with you. Perhaps you have someone gifted in the area of counseling others, another that is gifted in discerning spirits, another that is a strong prayer warrior, but none of them are strong at preaching, those are the people you need to delegate to those positions. Create a counseling role or team, create an intercessory prayer group, create a hospitality team. This will ensure that all the duties of the Pastor are filled without one person holding the role of the Pastor.

If you look around your church and do not see these people, one of two things is happening. It could be that you are not seeing the gifts of the flock before you. God will ALWAYS provide what is needed for His church, this includes the people with the gifts necessary to edify His Church. The other possibility is that you are not leading His Church. I pray that no one reading this will fall into this category, but there are some in this world that are pastoring a church, but it is not God’s church… it is a church of the flesh. And for that possibility, I have no suggestion other than to realize what you have done, humble yourself, and step down or shut the doors.

In closing, I want to reiterate that there is nothing wrong with being a preacher and not a pastor. Preachers are necessary to edify the church. But if you are a preacher trying to fill the role of a pastor, you need to reevaluate and realign the way you do things. Pastoring from the flesh and not from the Spirit is dangerous! And it will only lead to hurting people and possibly pushing them away from your congregation if not push them completely away from the Church altogether.

I pray that all that begin to question themselves after reading this truly look inward and seek God for the answer to the question of whether they are a preacher or a pastor. And if you are a preacher still feeling as though you are to be a Pastor, I pray that the Spirit gifts you with the necessary tools to fill all of those duties with love and joy.

MORE INFO

source https://www.saltydogspodcast.com/blog/when-pastors-arent-actually-pastors

[rosewoodlliars]

THE ULTIMATE PLOT HOLE AND UNANSWERED QUESTIONS LIST

(Not in any particular order)

1. How are you able to take a photo for the yearbook for a school that you never attended? 2. How are you prom queen for a school that you never attended? 3. So Wilden was a 12 year old cop when Mrs. D payed him off to rule Marion’s death as a suicide? Because lol CeCe and Wilden are the same age. 4. How was Marion alive in a flashback where Alison and Toby are teenagers but yet she was on the rooftop when Charles was 12? Oh no wait never mind it was interpretive. That flashback never happened like everything else in the past seasons. 5. How did CeCe have a roommate when she lived at Radley? 6. Why did Wren make CeCe a visitors pass if she was already a patient at Radley? She was already sneaking out of her room for “story time” with Mona so what the hell did she need the pass for? 7. How was CeCe able to go on a summer trip with the Dilaurentis family to Cape May when she’s suppose to be in Radley? But I guess since you have mental issues and you’re there for your safety and for the safety of others you’re allowed to take the fuck off out of the state and enjoy yourself🤷🏻‍♀️ 8. How did Charles transitioned into Charlotte in 3 days? You don’t just leave Radley for a couple of days then come back as a girl with hormones and a perfect body. It takes months and even years to go through that so how did that happen? Marlene doesn’t even know when that happened confirmed in via interview. 9. How did Spencer feel a familiarity with Charles in that vault? Regardless of CeCe being her sister, they barely interacted and they did not have this planned for them to be sisters back then…. so how the fuck? 10. Why would CeCe turn herself in? 11. Why would CeCe send a video of her burying Mrs. D when she loved her and Alison? Also Mary never confirmed she sent that video also Marlene confirmed in via interview that CeCe buried Mrs. D but yet Peter said that Mary killed her and buried her? Plot hole. 12. Out of all the girls, why would CeCe give 30,000 dollars to Hanna for college? Why not Alison or Spencer for that matter since she already fucking knew that Spencer was her sister since she met fucking Alex? 13. What does Sara Harvey have against Hanna since she was burning her head on the doll? 14. What was the point of Bethany Young? Why did Jessica tell her to call her “Aunt Jessie”? Why was the fact that she took Bethany fucking horseback riding never explained? Who are her parents? Why was she a big deal on this show? Or why wasn’t the drawings never explained? 15. Since CeCe always wanted to be girl all her life, why would she go back and dress as a dude in a tuxedo at the dollhouse? You can say it was Noel how many times you want to but it was never confirmed that it was him. 16. Why are the 5 girls irrelevant to the storyline? In the finale it was all about Spencer and Alex didn’t mention one thing about Alison. So Alison is basically irrelevant to Alex and Alex doesn’t give a shit about her when the SHOW IS ABOUT ALISON??? The girls are basically irrelevant to every motive every A on this show has ever had. So basically they’re making it seem like these girls became friends with the wrong people. It wasn’t Spencer’s fault that she got a good life. Alex SHOULD’VE TAKEN IT OUT ON HER MOTHER THAT SOLD HER. I will argue that the motives of every A were shit until the death. 17. Why wasn’t the night of Alison’s disappearance ever brought up again? Wasn’t that the main plot of the fucking show? But no it was interpretive it never happened. 18. Since Alex loved Aria so much, why would she try to ruin her wedding day? 19. Why the fuck would Jason see Bethany that night when he doesn’t know what she looks like? Why was CeCe wearing a yellow top that night? 20. When Jessica is about to smash Alison’s fingers in the piano, why would she come and say that Radley called her saying CeCe Drake was there pretending to be Alison when she was already a patient there? JESSICA CONFIRMED THAT SHE CONSIDERED CHARLES AS HER SON TO MARY. So it doesn’t matter if she was Mary’s daughter. Plot hole. 21. Why would CeCe date her own cousin when she can just be friends with him? That’s just disturbing. 22. How was CeCe able to work at a boutique when she’s suppose to be at Radley? Apparently she had get out of Radley free card. So they’re just going to let people in an institution work retail which can be the most stressful job…. but I guess you go for it. 23. How is CeCe running a fashion show when she’s suppose to be at Radley? 24. How was Melissa able to call CeCe and tell her to go visit Mona when she was already a patient there? 25. Wren and CeCe’s roommate both said that Alison got CeCe kicked out of college by pushing that girl down the stairs at the frat party, but yet we were told in 7x08 that Noel pushed the girl down the stairs IN A DREAM SEQUENCE but no it was confirmed by Bryan Holdman that it was true. So who the hell pushed the girl down the stairs? 26. How was CeCe partying it up with the Kahn’s on the weekends if she was suppose to be at Radley? 27. What was the point of the puzzle piece from the game board? 28. What the hell was the point of the Melissa mask? 29. What was the purpose of Ali and Bethany being pen pals? 30. What purpose did Sara Harvey serve and why make her both Red Coat and Black Widow? To torture them when she has never met them before for money? She obviously has some anger towards them so what the hell??? Where did CeCe find her? 31. Why was Mary at the blind school in 7x10? She didn’t know that Alex was AD by that time? 32. What was the significance of that Amish girl? 33. So what was Pastor Ted’s relevance? Just to bring an irrelevant character back to make him CeCe’s father? What? 34. What happened to the Cape May storyline? 35. Why would Alex take Wren’s sperm to impregnate Alison if she loved him so much? Why would you want your boyfriend to have a baby with someone else? 36. Why recruit Mona on your team if she killed CeCe? Wasn’t that your whole purpose for doing this? Finding out who killed CeCe? 37. Where was Rollins taking Alison in 7x03? 38. What was the point of all the Alison masks? 39. What’s the significance of 214? It comes up everywhere. 40. Why didn’t Mrs. D show any emotion to CeCe being arrested? She just glared at her. Again, Mrs. D considered CeCe as her daughter. 41. Who was the blond girl in the window of Alison’s bedroom in 1x01? 42. When and where did CeCe and Sara meet? 43. Why did Sara help CeCe and what were her motives? 44. Marlene confirmed in via interview that Ian killed himself, okay why? 45. What was Alison talking about in 4x24 that she saw Ian walk out of the church after pushing him off? I recall Ian looking colorless on that rope…. 46. Who was the person in 5x03 that was behind the glass with Mona while Hanna is getting her hair done? 47. Who was the person in the black cap talking to Melissa on the security footage in 5x07? 48. Why would CeCe frame her sister for murder if she loved her so much? 49. What was the point of the NAT club? What were on the videos that can bring everybody down? 50. Why would CeCe toss her fucking brother down an elevator shaft? “Oh Charlotte was angry.” Confirmed in via interview. um okay we need better answers than that marlene…. 51. Who was the blond girl at the reptile place in 4x20? With our luck they’re probably going to say it was Sara… 52. Who exactly knew that Alison was alive? Because it seemed like a lot of people knew…. 53. Who dug up Alison’s grave? Who exactly was there that night? You could say it was CeCe but it never came out of her mouth that she did it. 54. How did Maya die? Why didn’t we get any closure? Lyndon was the one who supposedly killed her but yet he had no relevance to the story… and he didn’t even confirm that he killed her. “What do you think?” Isn’t confirmation. 55. Was Melissa really the other queen of hearts? We didn’t see her. And that was never mentioned again. 56. Who gave Ali the bloody lip? “Girls fight much dirtier than boys” well??? 57. Why was Noel helping CeCe in the dollhouse? What did CeCe have on him? 58. What did Alison have on Noel? 59. What is Melissa’s significance to the story? Why did Melissa take that photo of Wilden, Alison, and CeCe on the boat at cape may? Again why was Cape May never mentioned again? 60. Why didn’t Eddie and Wren not like each other that much? “The minute that guy got here it wasn’t for the right reasons.” well what the fuck. The tension between them was never fucking explained. 61. Who did Mona, Jenna, and Sydney meet at the park in 5x05? 62. Who was Wren talking to on the phone in 4x10? 63. Was Bethany really the one who was writing to Alison or was it it CeCe? And AGAIN WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH BETHANY YOUNG? 64. Marlene said black widow was Endgame so is Sara Harvey endgame? You could’ve taken the easy way out and make Alex black widow but no. 65. Why did Melissa want the NAT club videos so bad? Again this was never brought up again. 66. WHAT HAPPENED TO VARJACK? 67. What happened to Cyrus? 68. Why were 3 people wearing yellow tops that night? Again, that night was never brought up again and that’s the reason this whole show started. 69. What did Maya know? That Nate was in town? Because Nate isn’t relevant to the story. And why add Maya’s niece when she had nothing to do with anything? 70. Why did Jason have a stab wound on his side? 71. Who did Aria stab with the screwdriver? 72. Marlene confirmed in via interview that Wilden was acting alone but yet we heard two voices talking? 73. Who did Spencer hear scream in 1x01? 74. Who was the person in the black hoodie that Mona gave the pills to in 3x13? 75. Who hit Toby over the head that night and planted that lighter? 76. Jenna said that Wilden saw Alison that night, how come Alison never mentioned this when she came back? Was Jenna lying? Again wee heard nothing else of the night Ali disappeared. 77. Why were Melissa and Ian in such a rush to get married? What did they need the alibi for? 78. What blond girl was Dr. Palmer talking about? Why was this never mentioned again? 79. Why are there two different versions of the kissing rock video? What was the point of showing that in 7x19? How did Alex even get that? 80. Who the fuck is Dr. Sullivan’s son? Mona was apparently threatening him in 2x25. 81. Why was Andrew being adopted brought up in the first place if it’s just going to be dropped? 82. Why were Jenna and Shana afraid of Melissa? Why was this never mentioned again? 83. What did Jenna give Shana at the park in 2x24? “You know what you have to do.” What did she have to do? 84. Who did Jason give the 50,000 dollars to? And what kind of information did they give him in order for him to give them the money? 85. Why did Mona tell Wren “that’s before I knew where your loyalties lie.”? 86. Who attacked Alison on Halloween? We were led to believe that it was Lucas but it was never confirmed. 87. Who opened the door to that creepy house in 2x13? And why was there a radley car outside of the house? 88. What was the significance of the ghost girl and how come only Ashley saw her? 89. Who was the person in the redcoat Wren was coloring in? 90. What led Ezra to believe that Mrs. D was A? 91. What happened at Ali’s house when Alison came over to Spencer’s house crying? 92. Who was that little boy at the doll shop referring to when he said “a man and woman with dark hair.”? 93. Why did Mike have 18,000 dollars in his bank account? 94. So Shana’s death was just forgotten about? Will anybody ever find out about it? 95. Where was Jason when he was suppose to be at rehab? 96. Did Cyrus really cut Alison’s leg? And if not where did it come from? 97. Why would Alison take pictures of Aria while sleeping? 98. Why did Melissa and Alison have masks made of themselves? 99. Who did Alison get in the car with outside of hectors? 100. Why did Alison need money from hector so bad? 101. What did the lawyer in 5x22 tell Ezra? He basically said that “If you don’t tell me then you can tell the police.” but yet he came out and said he wouldn’t tell him anything? What? 102. Who set up the A extravaganza bullshit at the park in 5x01? 103. Who was the guy that knew Emily’s name? 104. What was up with the bloody bandages in Jason’s trash? 105. Why was Holbrook kissing Alison at the ice ball? 106. Why was CeCe on Ezra’s payroll? 107. Why was CeCe eavesdropping on Aria and Ezra in 4x11? Yeah she’s A but for what purpose was she eavesdropping on them for? 108. What the fuck happened to Pepe and Tippy? 109. Why was Alison blackmailing people for money if she wasn’t planning on running away? 110. Who was Ali’s friends boyfriend that pulled the gun on her? 111. How is CeCe hanging out at a pub where Ezra and Ali met if she was suppose to be at radley? 112. What was Grunwald talking about when she said “Each one hated the other because each one feared the other because each one knew something about the other.”? 113. Who was hiding upstairs in the dilaurentis house? 114. Who was living under the crawlspace at the dilaurentis house? Was it Sara or CeCe? 115. Who was Bethany talking about on the tapes? 116. Why are there quotation marks around the word “Dr.” Kingston on the police board? 117. How did Alison’s ‘Jenna Thing’ bracelet get on Bethany’s body if she left it with Mona at the Lost Woods Resort? 118. What is the ‘plan’ Bethany is talking about on the tape? 119. Was the story Mona told Spencer about her seeing Alison as Vivian in Brookhaven in 2x25 true? Or did she just make it up? If it was true, who was Alison watching? 120. What was on page 5 of Alison’s autopsy report? 121. Who took the photo of Alison and the Liars in 4x13 that was given to Holbrook? 122. Who took the photograph of Alison with Spencer’s shadow in the background the night she disappeared? 123. Is Alison’s ghost story about the twins real? If so, who are the twins? 
Why would CeCe let the Liars think Ali was A? She said she was mad at the liars for being glad that Ali was dead, but she actively let them hate her. 124. Why did Bethany have Melissa’s riding helmet? 125. Why did Melissa say she saw Toby in London when she didn’t? 126. Why did Wren misspell the word “diagnosis”? 127. How did Wren know what Melissa and Spencer were talking about in 1x01 if he was in the barn and wasn’t present? Eavesdropping? 128. How did the moms get out of the basement? 129. Why was Alison threatening Spencer to tell Melissa the truth about Ian? She worded it as almost if someone else was going to plan on telling Melissa.. and why does it matter to Alison? 130. “Once she finds out the truth about you she’ll hate you.” What’s the truth about Toby? 131. Why was Toby in the girls locker room when Emily and Ben were in there? 132. Since the girls were blocking all unknown numbers, why was Wren’s number blocked when Wren tried calling Spencer? Wouldn’t Wren’s contact information be on Spencer’s phone since she tried to get in contact with him to tell Melissa the truth? 133. Why was Wren pretending to be drunk when he broke into Spencer’s house? 134. Who recorded Wren and Spencer and what happened to it? 135. How did Toby become a cop in 3 days? 136. Who was the fortune teller talking about when she said “There’s darkness in him maybe even violence or vengeance.”? She could’ve been talking about anyone…. 137. Why wasn’t Ian shocked to see Alison when she pushed him off the bell tower? He’s like “What are you doing here?” Did Ian know she was alive? 138. Mona sent a text saying “Thanks for getting Toby out of my way.” What the fuck was Toby in her way for? 139. Why weren’t Ali’s parents at the memorial service? 140. When Ian and Melissa went on their honeymoon they send a picture and Spencer says “isn’t that outside of dads office?” And Veronica says “Oh it doesn’t where they are when they’re in love.” so where did they go on their fucking honeymoon? 141. When exactly did Melissa loose her baby? Was Ian really the father? 142. Why did Mrs. D hire a PI if she didn’t want anyone to find out who hit Alison and that she buried her? 143. How did Toby’s sweater get back in his house? 144. Ian said “I’m doing this because I love your sister.” when trying to push Spencer off the bell tower but yet Melissa has been protecting Spencer all this time? So it doesn’t make any sense? 145. How come Mona didn’t know who pushed Ian off of the bell tower? A is suppose to know everything.. 146. Who cleared out Mona’s lair the day after she got revealed? CeCe couldn’t have done it. 147. Why didn’t nobody notice that Mona left for awhile to go hit Hanna with the car? Further more, all Hanna saw was Ezra and Aria making out and Noel writing on the back of the window so how did Hanna know “everything” like it was said in that text? She didn’t know shit…. 148. Who was Melissa talking to when Byron saw her on the phone where she says “do I have to call 911 to get your attention.”? 149. Charles liked vintage things and this was said by Jessica, but yet why did CeCe have a red convertible car in 3x09 that looked NOTHING like a vintage car? Again why weren’t the plot holes on CeCe cleared up before Marlene did anything else? 150. A has OCD and likes everything neat especially their black hoodies so why did CeCe have her books all over the place in her room at radley? They didn’t seem organized to me…. 151. Who was the lady in the red dress at the ball in 2x25? The camera kept focusing on her. 152. Who was the person that was wearing the black veil costume in the A mobile lair? Sara Harvey did not have a mask on when she came out of the church and got in the car with CeCe.. 153. Who got Wilden’s car out of the lake? Because I recall CeCe being at the lost woods and so was Sara.. 154. What did Spencer put in Alison’s casket? We learned about what everyone else put in there except for her. 155. What’s with all the apple references? 156. Who was the person in the greenhouse that attacked Emily? If it was Mona, then how would she have thrown Emily across the greenhouse if Emily is bigger than her? 157. Who set the fire at Jason’s when Hanna pulled out Jenna? Never confirmed if it was Mona. 158. Why was (supposedly) CeCe stroking herself on the computer screen in the Halloween store? (Was in Pretty Dirty Secrets) 159. Marlene confirmed on twitter that the bag Ian gave Jenna in season one had her flute in it….. why was Ian giving Jenna her flute? Why did he have it? 160. Who was Jason talking to on the phone in Pretty Dirty Secrets? 161. What the fuck happened to Meredith? We never heard from her again. 162. Who was the beach hottie? (Never confirmed but Marlene said she “thought” it was Wilden in an interview but I’m not taking that as confirmation when she doesn’t remember shit) 163. Who was the person in the redcoat at the Halloween store in Pretty Dirty Secrets? 164. Why was Jason staring at Lucas when they were on the Halloween train? Was it like a group thing to push Aria off? Like what the fuck. 165. Who was taking pictures for Ezra’s research? 166. Who smashed Connor’s car? 167. Were Alison’s visits to Spencer and Aria real? 168. What was the “prior engagement” Alison had to go to after leaving Emily’s house the day she disappeared? 169. How did Ali get Jason cut from their grandma’s will? 170. Why did Garret want to keep Spencer safe? 171. What else was in Ezra’s “research” boxes? 172. Why did Jenna wanna become friends with CeCe if she tried to drown her? 173. Why did Eddie Lamb recognize Aria? 174. Is Ezra really board shorts? That was never confirmed. 175. Who gave Emily the massage? Because according to Lucas, he didn’t start working for Mona until the ball in 2x25. 176. What was purpose of “Walking After Midnight”? 177. How did Mona end up in possession of Toby’s sweater, considering Alison did not have the sweater when Mona took Alison to the Lost Woods Resort that night? 178. Whose blood was on Toby’s sweater? 179. When Spencer was a person of interest in Alison’s murder, Veronica appears to trust that Spencer had nothing to do with Alison’s murder. However, in season four, Veronica tells Spencer to forget about that summer because she thought Spencer could have done something to Alison’s disappearance, based on how erratic Spencer was acting that summer. So why wasn’t Veronica more suspicious of Spencer when there was actually incriminating evidence against Spencer? 180. Considering Mona was the only “A” at the time, that would mean she was the one who got the picture of Alison leaving the hospital visiting Hanna. So does this mean that Mona knew Alison was sometimes roaming around Rosewood all the way back in season 1? 181. Who sent Alison the note saying “Your friends will see you soon” while she was in jail? 182. How long had A been planning/building the dollhouse? 183. Why didn’t Mona look shocked seeing Alison walking down the road when she got hit considering Mona thought she killed her? All of a sudden she realized in 6x10 that she killed Bethany? What? 184. Why did Leslie hate Bethany? 185. How does the hockey stick come in to play if Spencer was seen with a shovel and Ali was hit with a rock? 186. Why was Holden at the Kahn parties? What was Holden’s relevance? 187. Did Alison really lure Bethany to her house for Labor Day weekend or was someone contacting Bethany by pretending to be Alison? 188. Why aren’t the girls asking Alison questions or asking Ezra any questions since he’s got a bunch of important shit in his research? 189. Who did Nigel Wright call in New York City? 190. Since Sara Harvey is black veil, why was she delivering flowers to Bethany’s parents? 191. Since Sara Harvey is black veil, why was she delivering flowers to Bethany’s parents? 192. Who was the blond girl Ezra yelled at? 193. What was the original plan between Mona & Red Coat the night of the fire? (“you’re getting what you’ve always wanted”) 194. What was Garrett & Jason’s convo about on Jason’s porch? (Garret: “want to make sure we’re still cool Jason.” - Jason: “What does it matter now, it’s over.”) 195. Who’s blood is on Alison’s Ankle Bracelet? 196. Since it was “confirmed” in VIA INTERVIEW by Marlene that Shana was on the rooftop, why did it look like a fucking guy? 197. Who actually drugged Emily the night that the grave was dug up? Was it really Lucas? 198. Why were Lucas and Melissa told to distract Jenna at the Masquerade ball? 199. If Maya was already supposed to be dead how did she give Jason Ali’s belongings? 200. WHY ISN’T IAN’S SUICIDE BEING INVESTIGATED? 201. Beyond the Maya knew message is there more significants to Mona saying “miss Aria your a killer not Ezra’s wife”? 202. Why was Jenna at the Halloween store in a queen of hearts costume? 203. Why was Noel at the Halloween store fighting with Garret? 204. Other than Ali’s flashback, is there more to the importance of the isle of the dead painting? 205. Why was Toby driving the same car when he was trying to run down Lucas that Cyrus has? 206. What 2 things did Mona not do in season 1? 207. Why was Shana in ravenswood? 208. Why was Ezra’s lair in ravenswood? 209. Which friends cabin was it that ezra and Aria were staying at? 210. What ever happened to Ali’s grandmother and her will? 211. Did Garrett know Ali was alive because he said “people lie medical records don’t”? Or what was he talking about? 212. Where was Alison during those years when we thought she was dead? 213. What was the connection between Maya, Jenna, and Noel? 214. Why was Spencer attacked on the train and by who? 215. Who else was on the Halloween train? 216. Why were Jenna and Sydney dressed like twins? 217. Why did Noel kill Sara?

218. What was the point of the comic book that Charles and Lucas made? What was the significance of that? Just to make Lucas look shady? What??

PLEASE REBLOG THIS IF THERE’S MORE QUESTIONS THAT WEREN’T ANSWERED. NOTHING was answered or explained in the finale except for the stuff about Uber A even though they’re a new character👏🏻

[damajority]

DaMajority Fresh Article https://www.damajority.com/my-10-takeaways-from-the-coronavirus-the-lucian-version-by-ian-mitchell-nsfw/

My 10 takeaways from the Coronavirus (The Lucian Version) by Ian Mitchell | NSFW

My 10 takeaways from the Coronavirus epidemic — (mostly) Lucian version…

Ian Mitchell

1. GREED IS A HELL OF A THING… Senators selling stocks while telling constituents everything is okay… Companies price gouging… People buying hand sanitizer in large amounts to resell at high prices… US senate trying to use the opportunity to make billionaires even bigger billionaires instead of helping ordinary people get through this in spite of interest rates being reduced to nearly zero… Pastors telling people to continue tithing if they want to avoid catching the virus (there’s an app for that now, wii)… I can’t possibly list how many of them I’d like to slap…

2. SELFISHNESS, ESPECIALLY NOW, IS REALLY, REALLY F#CKING STUPID… Hoarding hand sanitizer and toilet paper only means everyone else has infected hands and all manner of fecal-related diseases…Hoarding basic food items means poor people or those who are too late will rob you dumb asses when they get desperate and you won’t eat all those Crix crackers anyway… Jack ass!… And hoarding medication too?!? Jesus! So people have to die from shortages so you can have 12 months’ worth of refills done at once? Nah, man! You gotta be a really shitty human being… We can only overcome this as a community…

3. POLITICS IS ITSELF A DISEASE FOR TOO MANY OF US… Wishing the PM was really sick and would die because you’re not a supporter and disagree with his policies makes you less than human (and probably a sore loser)… Not wanting to hear from the opposition because they’re not in office means you don’t understand what it means to be in a democracy and have representation (and you’re probably are a classless winner)… Being overly critical of the authorities without exercising understanding and reason in your critiques just clogs up social media with less-than-helpful commentary while we need to get to facts and real information… Stop trying to incite panic or falsely discrediting public officials for political gain or just because you want to watch the world burn, SMDH… I mean, do you really want our leaders to fail now of all times? Yeh, I’m a big supporter of COVID 19 Order, 2020, Clause 21… Stop your shit! Salopla!!

4. AS FAR AS QUARANTINE GOES, WE GOT IT GOOD… Hotel stays (albeit in a limited but very nice space), with three daily meals, a/c, internet, cable, and ensuite bathroom isn’t exactly torture… Sure, you may be generally isolated but the risk is not worth it… so it’s best for you to enjoy your hotel stay… And for those who evade it, hold what you get, selfish! Oh, and thank God for Netflix!

5. SOCIAL DISTANCING AND PARTIAL SELF-QUARANTINE… SWEET BABY JESUS! WHERE HAVE  i BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!? Nobody breathing down my neck in line at the bank and supermarket… Sweet traffic flow! I can actually drive through Castries faster than I can walk through it… Lord, don’t wake me up from this dream!… Well, except for basketball… I miss my sweat, man… But I do worry about the homeless and how they will deal with the curfew… I guess home will really have to be where the heart is for these folks…

6. LET’S NOT STOP SOME OF THESE ADJUSTMENTS IF AND WHEN THIS DIES DOWN… AND USE ICT, FOLKS... Companies looking for ways to transact online… Expenses paid by credit/debit card… Well stocked ATMs… Data collection and dissemination online… More remote customer service… Work-from-home (as far as is practical)… Delivery and pickup from restaurants… Bus drivers unable to cram passengers (and a child being counted as a whole person)… Hallelujah!  Agriculture and agro-processing along with ICT and affordable connectivity are going to be prioritized as a matter of national resilience… there’s no other way…

7. WE MOVED TOO SLOWLY ON A NUMBER OF THINGS BUT LET’S NOT ACT LIKE THERE AREN’T CONFLICTING CONCERNS HERE… Borders were certainly left open too long, but the economic fallout is very real and greater than we have ever faced and trying to determine how to address that eventuality is no easy task… The ripple effect of no tourist presence is enormous and would give any government pause. We are not a rich country follow ECCB regulatory guidelines so figuring out how to provide relief to all sectors isn’t so easy for us… Some banks are giving sine relief but we don’t all have the income to afford mortgages, this only benefits some… (I’m not hearing from Courts at all eh…) I also agree that our priorities should have been skewed more towards that move to OKEU sooner, but again, we may do so now and experience all the issues of a lack of readiness that we have been warned about. So let’s not shout too loudly about it being done now because of the pandemic. You wouldn’t try to walk on a broken leg, but if a lion was coming for your ass, you’d find a way to run… And yes, we have to finish St. Jude’s (while managing the risks) because we need more hospital beds, services ans staff if the shit hits the fan… And BTW… Thanks Dr. Belmar! Keep doing your best with the little you have at your disposal… And thanks to all our essential services for keeping us resembling something of a civilized society when crisis hits…

8. FAMILIES AND COUPLES ARE RECONNECTING… I see parents and children exercising on the beach… couples playing online games together… parents home-schooling their children… adults checking on their elderly parents and binging them to Massy to shop… It’s a beautiful thing…

9. WE’VE BECOME COVID-19 EXPERTS OVERNIGHT… Thank this age of the Internet and social media…. If this happened in the 80’s, the vast majority of us would be ignorant about this… And in spite of those of us who still don’t listen (and it’s not because they don’t know better), the streets are much more desolate and Massy and my credit union has free hand sanitizer… Praise Jah for information…

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10. BE VIGILANT BUT NOT ANXIOUS OR AFRAID… Some say this is an attempt to control the masses (safety in exchange for liberty)… Some say this is about money through vaccine sales driven by fear… Some say it was the US who created and planted this in China as a strategy to win the economic war but it got out of control… The way I see it, any or all can be true or false, but it is here regardless… So use common sense and follow the instructions aimed at avoiding it altogether… Regardless of how it started, it still a killer… My heart breaks for Italy and it’s about to break for the US… May it never have to break for Saint. Lucia….

SPECIAL MENTION

I had to shout out to a special group of persons who are working really hard right now and putting themselves at risk for little remuneration… the security guards… They’re working 12-hour shifts while standing though most of it in many establishments…. They are acting as doormen all over the place with no masks in many instances. They sometimes distribute hand sanitizer to incoming customers and handle crowds that are sometimes times irate and showing a lack of patience while lining up outside supermarkets, banks, etc… I wish them well and we should grant them all the cooperation we can right now… their pay is really crappy…

[spence66]

Jessica and Mary were twins. Jessica’s actions put Mary in Radley. Jessica had an affair with Peter Hastings. Melissa was born and Jason was born AND GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW, but Charles was born too. I guess Pastor Ted were having sex with his mental high school girlfriend or something. Mary (WHILE BEING RADLEY PATIENT STILL!), pretend she was her sister and she seduced Peter and she had twins. She sold one of her daughters AND THEN SHE GET OUT OF RADLEY… Around this time Jessica and Kenneth send Charles to Radley, so at least we know that Mary and Cece wasn’t in Radley at the same time. At least. But I’m still curious why Jessica took Charles in a first place. But who cares about Charles.. It was only big deal in like two or three seasons, season 7 have nothing to do with previous seasons, let’s make that clear.

Ok, so Charles become Charlotte or Cece or whatever and transforming from boy to a girl haven’t really changed her twisted mind and she was jealous of Alison or Spencer or.. who cares? But it’s fine, she take the game from mona even when mona never had any real motive to start the game with, but let’s forget about this. Wait, no. I won’t forget.

Mona always wanted to be friends with Alison and she was obsessed with her. She even made herself a creepy room in Lost woods resort, and then she helped Alison to run away. And then she was popular and best friends with hannah, and then after a year Aria came back and she started blackmailing them and only explanation we’ve got was that SPENCER, EMILY AND ARIA TOOK HANNA AWAY FROM HER.. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

And then Cece took the game, and we should just ignore all time gaps and wholes, and all unanswered questions we’d ever have about Cece and how she used to kiss her own cousin.

But then she was blamed for Wildens death and she used Alison passport to get away from the country. And as we know now, she did it because Wren called her and told her that she has a sister. And then she met Archer Dunhil on the plane and they fall madly in love. Sure.

And ok, I’m willing to believe it. All of it. Alex as Spencers secret, evil twin, and Cece as transgender older sister. And I can believe that Cece and Alex felt like that because they were having some rough time and were jelaous. I’m willing to believe that all the clues were there only to hide the biggest secret what was left till the very end.

I’m going to forget about Maya, Ian, Garrett and Wilden.

I’m not going to ask why they never explained what was Jenna doing, I’m not going to ask about Lucas, Paige, Melissa and Jason anymore. NAT club? Forget about this! It was never important. I won’t ask why Archer was flirting with Alison and having an affair with her even when he was in love with Charlotte. Alison wanted to get Cece out, so he never had to persuade her to help her. I don’t care why you can’t turn your back on a Hastings, or what happened to Tippi the bird. I won’t even bother to ask for how long Mary was with Alex, was she with her while she was living in London? Or was it actually Alex dressed up as a guy in a dollhouse? That’s why spencer felt like she knew this person?

But tell me just one thing. Only one thing I need to know now..

   HOW THE HELL ALEX BUILD THIS BUNKER UNDER ALREADY BUILT HOUSE?

  I’d like to think that this show was special for me, and all journey was just great.

But let me say this, that since season 4 it was just different. It was tiring, because all we could get out of it is more questions.

And this whole Addison story was like a slap for me.

There were s omany ways to end this show. With Ezra, Melissa, Lucas and Cece together, even with Jason. But it’s not only the finale I’m pissed at. I’m pissed on whole last 3 seasons. It was like in season 4 all the writers decided they don’t give a fuck anymore. They were like:

Oh shit, look what all the fans are doing on Tumblr, all these theories and how they pick up the smallest things (WHICH WERE TOLD US TO BE IMPORTANT! JUST HAVE A LOOK ON ALL MARLENE PLL TWEETS AND CLUES………….) and making bad ass theories.

You know what, I’m just …

Just…

Disappointed.

Thank you all theorists here and fans who made this pll journey so great. You guys are the only reason that this show was special. Ok, you and Troian.

Thank you,

S .