#I will never be perfect i don't want to settle for less but I cannot for the life of me just go take a loan and go in debt for a course

[river-selkie]

It took me 7 years to figure out my theriotype. Here's what I learned.

Hi everyone,

I've been in and out of the community for a few years now and during that time, I've had to do a lot of introspection and stablizing. I'm an adult now at 23 and have been questioning my alterhuman identity since I was around 15 years old, but knew I was "other" since I was very small. Here are some little points of wisdom I'd like to give to people who are new, confused, have been questioning for a while, or whatever else they might be feeling or experiencing.

1. Identity is often impermanent. You will change a lot, especially if you are a kid or teenager. This is to be expected. Don't be surprised if you're often confused or unsure about yourself. Even as an adult, I still question my label and I expect that from myself. I just question it less so than before and feel more firm in how I see myself. Let yourself try a million labels and test the waters a thousand times if it's going to help you feel sure of yourself. Gender, hobbies, therianthropy, all of it is allowed to be tested, dropped, changed as needed. Just be wise about it and meaningful. It can take years before you even begin to settle down at all in some cases. You may even consider things you wouldn't have considered before with experience, i.e. going to places you've never been able to go before. And please, don't be afraid of questioning the "common" theriotypes! We're a minority of individuals in the world as it is, you can identify as a wolf, cat, or dog if you feel it best suits you at the time!

2. Being an adult will change your experience. You will probably go from being very animalistic to being less so. It will be in the background of your life, but you will still experience it. It will just be different now. It may even seemingly fade away all together for a time (human life is stressful after all), but it is common for things to ebb and flow. Don't expect to experience every possible feeling, shift, or even high intensity animality 24/7 like you may have as a young kid or young teen.

3. Your therianthropy might go away with time or you might realize that the term doesn't suit you anymore. That's okay. You weren't an impostor or a fake, your experience was still genuine. Let yourself be honest with yourself. You also cannot fake something you are not actively faking. You would know if you're faking what you're feeling because it would be intentional, and it could also come back. Regardless of the outcome, don't fret on what might or will happen, focus on the present and now. How you feel in the now is more important than the future sometimes.

4. Social media is not the end game of therianthropy. Living your therianthropy is. Not everyone will approve of you, and the amount of followers and comments you have don't dictate your validity. Don't fall into the trap of being a certain way to please others. You are meant to explore yourself, not put on a facade to entertain everyone else. Don't scramble for a label just so you have a "role" in this community, and you don't need to post every single thing if you don't want to. You have a role in this community even if you're looking at the whole spectrum of animals and honestly, I love following people who question things anyways. Anyone who considers you a fraud for it or puts you down isn't worth your time or energy. A label of any kind isn't worth crying over or feeling like your value or opinion is dependent on it, especially online.

5. Not everyone has your best intentions at heart. This is self explanatory. Be careful about who you tell about your therianthropy, and especially be careful about people taking advantage of your therianthropy to hurt you. This is especially true online where anyone can lie about their real intentions.

6. How you see yourself comes above all else. You are human too, at least biologically. Not everything you experience will be a theriotype thing, and your experience doesn't need to be perfect. When I was growing up, research down to the fine details meant everything. Now, I identify as what feels right and makes me feel complete. I am not perfect in what I identify as, and I never will be. I am an animal having a human experience. It is to be expected that I will experience lots of things, including empathy, odd cravings, and weird reactions. Focus on what soothes you, what you expect when you look in the mirror, and the overarching way you feel in life. Look at your shifts, look at how you feel in various situations, etc. Research helps, but in the end, it's your label(s). You could even not be a therian at all, you could be a spirit of some kind or a fantasy creature etc. Keep your horizons wide and your doors open.

7. Psychological and spiritual therianthropy are both equally valid. One is not more "real" as an experience than the other since it's a belief and an experience as a whole. Your therianthropy could be caused by a mental illness or be related to neurodivergence, but that's fine. You're still a therian, whether you believe it's because your soul is an animal or because your mind is one or both. Even if your therianthropy disappears one day, the experience is still valuable and is real to yourself (which is who it matters to the most).

8. Therianthropy is a spectrum. Some people are deeply animal and never waiver, never lose their traits, and are perpetually the "perfect example" of their theriotype (note: social media makes them seem this way!!). Others feel it very lightly and may have no shifts at all and experience their therianthropy in a more gentle, symbolic way. Both of those and everything in between is real.

9. Being otherhearted is just as valid as being a therian, and can still be just as important. Identifying WITH something can easily be as impactful as identifying as something, and can have important meaning that's worth being appreciated. I've been rodentkith my entire life because of the wild mice that I watched growing up, and those have a deep, explainable history to me. I talk about it just as much, and it impacted my life drastically even if I don't currently identify AS a mouse. It's okay to even just be otherhearted and nothing else.

10. My final point: just be genuine about it. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind. Be safe. Remember to live your experience offline too, and remember that everything you see online is idyllic and romantic. You are going on your journey in the way that is meant for you, and no one else can tell you who or what you are. You can trust yourself, and even if you're "wrong", you weren't wrong for considering something. Walk on your path, and expect that stumbling now and then is just part of the hike. You've got this.

[Reposted from my Reddit if this seems familiar to some critters!]

[simplyreveries]

Hello! I would like to make a request for Riddle, Kalim, Ortho, and Malleus (gn reader, platonic or romantic. except for Ortho, platonic for him)

How would they react to finding out that the reader wasn't allowed to celebrate their birthday back home and has never had a birthday party?

riddle rosehearts

I have a feeling riddle never really had experienced a birthday party himself, unless it was someone like trey or che'nya doing some little kid attempt at giving him one during their childhood and that is until he came to nrc and got to feel that more. Yes, riddle is saddened when he hears that you've never gotten to have one yourself more so greatly upset. you’re the last person he would ever think deserves to have that happen to, he will make sure to go completely out of his way with the help of trey and other dormmates he made help to ensure that your first birthday would be positively perfect..! riddle really wouldn't accept anything less than best for you.

because of his own experiences with… unpleasant birthdays he knows what a dreadful feeling it can be so it only amps up his own feelings into making it good for you. The roses will be painted your favorite colors, he’ll make sure trey makes you the tastiest cake/pastries of your liking, decorations are of your taste he is going above and beyond here. ace and deuce even make sure to tread more lightly around him as he's invested in this… they cannot cause any trouble on your special day hjsdjklsdg

all he can think about is the smile that will be on your face once you've seen what he has done, at least he can hope so. he frets about choosing a gift for you, but he’d settle for something small but sentimental like a necklace. his tension and initial worry do seem to evaporate when he sees you having a good time, he feels a sense of relief and simply cannot keep his eyes off of you.

kalim al asim

kalim literally cannot fathom this... he is immediately planning and preparing your birthday as soon as he hears about it and yes, it's going to be his best one yet (”kalim my birthday is in two months-”) he talks to jamil all the time about his plans and how it's going to be absolutely perfect for someone as perfect as you. kalim really is observant, especially towards you— he knows what you like and will implement any of that into this celebration of yours.

I don't just mean a big loud party with a bunch of people— kalim already knows if that really isn't your thing but trust me, he will still go above and beyond even if it's just some sleepover with him and some friends of yours. we haven't even discussed the amounts of gifts you’ll be receiving. I 100% believe he’d be like giving you some gift every day in your birth month, he’ll claim they're all to make up for the birthday gifts you didn't receive growing up.

on the day of your birthday, you could look at what he’s done and be like “isn't this a bit-” “too little??” hahaha. he is so full of energy that day; he tries to get you to dance with him even if it's just him making some fool of himself to get you to laugh. because, despite all the things he does and gets you objectively kalim’s priority is to see you happy and laughing throughout the day. that will be his biggest reward.

ortho shroud

ortho knows you pretty well, he does analyze people incredibly. so, he can easily understand what exactly it'd bd you’d want for a birthday… the issue may be is how do you get a bunch of people to celebrate something in ignihyde?? he’d settle to making some surprise party for you at ramshackle and drag idia to help him out. Along with the other first years.

he would make sure to let others like grim, ace, deuce, and the ghosts that live in ramshackle know what he’s doing as he still asks for some advice from them quite often. it's cute to see how serious he takes it; he gets all stern with people like ace or grim to make absolutely sure they don't spill and reveal the little celebration they're setting up for you, it's almost a little intimidating until he switches a 180 to a cheerful and excited demeanor when the plans seem to be going his way.

the party would end up becoming some sleepover with him and the first years, a little chaotic, but really fun. on top of that, ortho is getting his own experiences with things like this with friends for the first time too and he loves it.

malleus draconia

he has had spent most of his birthdays, rather lonely. i mean, he literally doesn't like cakes for the fact that they once gave made him sick because he didn't have really anyone to split it with. not to mention, his birthdays may become quite repetitive and boring with his years of age. however, he almost seems confused when you mention that you’ve never really have had one before. malleus believed that it was normal for humans to always have one, it's what he's been the most exposed to.

malleus could not stop getting that fact of you out of his mind, he seemed to be troubled and lost in thought on how to make you feel better about it. most likely, coming to lilia for help since he’s usually the one to do birthdays, obviously. of course, malleus would be quite happy and excited even to have one celebrated for you at diasomina— silver is quick to suggest he handle cake after past experiences with lilias cooking and baking skills.

he tries to actually keep to a surprise but he’s so obvious about it as he can't help but feel excited as he awaits your reaction to it all. you could ask him one night outside of ramshackle if he's planning a party for you and he’d chuckle and be like “am i?” (disappears??). he doesn't seem to leave your side once the day comes, content and pleased with how happy you seem. you’ll catch him staring at you the whole time as you go about your day, blow out candles for the first time, open gifts (which are obviously some rare, expensive accessory from him) and experience what it’s like for the very first time.

[avaleigh16]

I found a post on here, I can't find the tags but it really upset me because the person was bashing Yautjas and their honor codes and I just want to add my opinion.

First of all what was said that Yautja's honor code is fucked because they killed women and child and they dehumanize their prey.

Humans dehumanize humans. Theories about social Darwinism and racism were invented by humans. Wars were started by humans on humans just because of pettiness. Humans kill women and children.

Yautja aren't dehumanizing humans because they don't even know what it means. They are hunters. Humans are their prey. They are just acting like their instincts wired them too.

Secondly it was said they 'nuked themselves because they lost'. Bro stfu.

Yautja did not nuke themselves because they lost. They bombed themselves to leave no trace of them or their weapons so humans can't find it and study it or them.

Thirdly they bashes the yautja about what they did in predator: killer of killers because the predatora took the three humans.

Dude, if you are a fan then you would know they take humans and xenomorphs to breed the perfect prey. Or for future hunts so they can grow stronger.

All I want to say is do your research before you bash the Yautjas.

I'm leaving what was noted about the yautja and some of it is their honor code.

Code Violations: Those who break the code are Bad Bloods, and are considered an insult to Yautja culture. They are to be destroyed when encountered.

Hunting Intelligent Species: According to War, there are strict rules concerning the hunting of intelligent species. Those who are not blooded cannot do this at all. However, some hunters want these laws overturned.

Hunting Worthy Game: When hunting, the hunter must be sure that their prey is considered game and lawful to kill. Worthy game must fill the following criteria:

The prey can defend itself and/or is able to kill the hunter themself.

The prey is of age (killing children and the elderly is considered highly dishonorable).

The prey is not linked to other lives (so that removing the prey will not doom another, e.g. pregnant women).

The prey is not weakened by diseases.

Equalize the odds: Killing prey when using less equipment is considered a greater prize, and hunters should typically give their prey a fighting chance for honor's sake. If the prey demands close-combat, the hunter is to fight to their prey's standards, and should minimize use of their Plasmacaster or other projectile weapons.

Failing in the Hunt: Should the hunter fail in one's quest, he should take their own life to retain their honor than to live in shame. However, some cowards prefer to live in obscurity rather than die. This is considered to be dishonorable and suicide is then "assisted" by an Enforcer.

Claiming the Kill of Another Hunter: To take the Trophy of another Yautja, living or dead, is considered to be a great insult. For example, two Un-Blooded go on their first Hunt: one Yautja takes on a Xenomorph, and both are mortally wounded. While the wounded hunter is dying, the other hunter conveniently finishes off the prey and claims the kill as their own, abandoning the wounded Yautja. This is a crime that can be paid for with abandonment, or death.

Murder of Another Yautja: To kill another Yautja intentionally holds severe consequences. This excludes self-defence and killing an opponent in a fight to settle a dispute. Murder is the worst crime.

Show Mercy: Those who were defeated in a fair hunt, or who are the victors in a deadlier hunt, should be considered equals and must be shown respect.

Never harm the innocent: Those who have done no harm should have no harm done to them. (It can be inferred that this rule must pertain only to harming other Yautja in their society since they hunt and kill members of many species one could call "innocent". It can also be inferred that Bad Blood Predators would ignore this rule either in part or in whole.)

Hunting for Food: When hunting for food, only the weak should be taken. This is to purify the species' line.[citation needed]

Wounded Game: When coming upon game wounded by another hunter, and the prey is dying without sport, show honor to another's kill. If the game still shows sport, it is to be a joint trophy.

Joining Another Hunt: Do not join another's Hunt, or Hunt in their territory, without their permission. All trophies taken in this manner are stolen trophies and shall be dealt with by the rightful owner.

When in a duel with an enemy, one must reveal oneself: In the novelization of Alien vs. Predator, Lex Woods was about to be killed by a cloaked Predator, but before it prepared to deliver the final blow, it deactivated its cloak. According to the book, it is "hunting ethic" to reveal oneself to the enemy at the climax of a fight. However, the movie ignored this part, and showed the still-cloaked Predator attempt to kill her.

Weapons of Warfare: Weapons of Warfare like the Blazer and Electroshock Missile Battery are strictly forbidden in hunts or even by use of non-Military Caste hunters. They are considered too destructive to constitute a hunting weapon.

Keep the Species Pure: The Yautja do not tolerate any genetic modification to their species. As such, Predaliens, Human-Yautja hybrids, and other abominations must be killed on sight, superseding any other hunt. This presumably includes Yautja Anathemas. When applicable, the creators of these abominations are also sentenced to death, preferably by Torture Ritual.

Leave No Trace: As evident throughout the franchise, lesser advanced species are forbidden from discovering or possessing Yautja technology.

A Yautja who knowingly or intentionally allows a lesser species to possess advanced Yautja technology is immediately sentenced to death.[16]

A Yautja who unintentionally allows a lesser species to possess Yautja technology is banished, provided he makes an attempt to recover/destroy the lost tech and submits himself honorably for punishment.

Should it become known that a lesser species possesses Yautja technology, the technology is to be immediately recovered or destroyed.

Humans in particular are especially forbidden from retaining Yautja technology; a human possessing Yautja technology is considered fair game, regardless of their status. This is due to their extreme danger when in possession of advanced technology.

[lazyalani]

| Rengoku Kyojuro × [F!]Reader

| angst, you know it, hurt no comfort, ofcourse there isn't a happy ending what are you expecting on a kyokyo fic, mentions of death, character death, this is for my kyokyo obsessed friend i hope this makes you feel worse better @rilzaly , first kny fic, might be ooc cuz i dont know him that well, idk what i just wrote, not proofread

| Won't you come home, dearest?

| Main Masterlist

| KNY Masterlist (not available yet)

i will stand by you,

"This isn't right, not this, not this either. That's ugly. No, that isn't the right shade at all."

This whole wedding planning is stressing you out. Sure, it's exciting and all, but who says it's not harder than the actual wedding? A special day needs special preparation too.

"Calm down, you'll find the right one eventually." Your bestfriend says, sitting on a chair and watching you ransack a pile of kimonos inside the fitting room of a shop.

"I know, but it doesn't make it less stressing. Kyojuro and I have dreamt for this beautiful wedding in the entirity of our relationship, I want it to be perfect." You huff in frustration. It's complicated when your fiance's isn't here too, what if he doesn't like the colors?

"I know, and it makes me happy that you've finally met a man who's willing to act like a proper man."

"Right? He's everything I could ever ask for. The wedding is in 5 days and I'm going to make sure it's never going to be forgotten."

And you so desperately hope that everything will go well. A part of you fears whatever tension your fiance and his colleagues are feeling.

I will stand by you,

"Kyojuro!" You waved at your soon to be husband, holding a rather large box wrapped in an orange cloth.

The sun haired man paused in his tracks along the street and made his way to you with his usual big smile and bright aura. "Dearest! Have you come with our lunch?"

You smiled at his never fading brightness. "Ofcourse, I hope you haven't skipped resting periods, honey. Don't overwork yourself." You replied and handed over the wrapped box.

His face turns into a frown as you settle the box in his hands. Does he not want it?

"Is there something wrong?"

i will stand by you,

The bento is placed on a big rock on the side and his hands are immediately inspecting your face.

"Wha- Eh? Kyojuro? Honey, mind telling me what you're doing?" You said, feeling his hands checking even the sides of your face.

"I have not been skipping rest, but have you, dear?" He crossed his arms and stared at your face. "Has the preparations been stressing you out too much? I knew I should be helping more, dear. I will take the rest of the days off if you wish."

You blinked. "What? Honey, what is this about?"

"Where is you bento?" He asks.

"What?"

"Are you not going to eat with me?"

Oh, so that is what this is about.

Your smile widened at your fiance. He truly is a ray of sunshine. How could you ever ask for more?

"Oh, honey, I can't go eat with you because I'm going to check on the cake design, and you're going on a mission on a train, remember?" You raised your hand on his cheek, brushing away a fallen leaf.

the war in your head will shoot you down dead,

"Oh! Well, that's unfortunate. But it's no big deal, we can eat together when I return tomorrow." He smiles big again as he brushes his hand against yours on his cheek.

The smile on your face never fades as your features turn into worry. "That's right, come eat with me tomorrow."

He presses his forehead to yours. "Tomorrow, and the next day, to the next, always, everyday." His lips press against your forehead as he hugs you, as cherished as ever.

"Be safe, we have our wedding to attend, come home to me, Kyojuro."

"Always, my dearest."

so don't even try to win, is it worth it all in the end?

You sat on your bed, hoping to relax as the day is almost on it's end. The preparations for the day are done, time to wait for the next day.

But you cannot sleep. Not when your fiance is outside doing his duty. Before you knew it, it was already dawn, you were so stuck overthinking, you couldnt get sleep.

i don't think so

You can never sleep nor stop thinking about him whenever he is out there battling demons, quite literally. He's got not only the lives of people on his hands, but also his own.

Your fiance is someone heroic. Someone kind hearted who is never one to leave innocents and those in need behind. He was, is, and will always be the kind of person who sticks to his morals and principles to the very end. His spirit will never let him yield, and that makes him the Flame Hashira, the sun haired man who's flame can never be extinguished, the brightest sun, the smiling softy, your fiance, him.

try to embrace the lines on your face,

It's what has drawn you to him. His never ending spirit and respect. A true knight and guardian of the people. A booming positive sun. A loving brother, a caring person, a kind lover.

the story of who you are, cuz i love what i've read so far

You love that about him. You love everything about him. As he does to you.

You have faith in his abilities, you've always had. But it can never erase the heavy feeling in your chest. The ache whenever he tells you about a new mission. The pounding in your heart when he comes home later than planned. The slight breaking when you see bruises. And the tears when you wash his bloodied clothes.

i mean it, i mean it,

You stand up to get some water and ease the fear.

But a certain picture frame breaks as you accidentally run into the table it is settled.

when you fight for every breath,

Your breath hitches as you struggle to pock up the broken pieces.

You don't know what's gotten into you as you cry from the slight pain when you get hurt by the broken glass. You can feel your own desperation. Of what?

Why is your chest pounding harder than it did before? Why is it that your heart aches again? Kyojuro promised to come home. He will, as always, more now that you have a wedding. So why is it that you can almost hear your ear ringing in pain? The eerie feeling in your heart.

and the waves are overhead,

A knock on the front door brings you back with a big breath. You take a few more breaths, catching yourself before walking to the door.

Kyojuro?

It was Mitsuri, your fiance's former tsuguko. You remember her, a lovely lady who always bounced around you and kyojuro, calling you his older sister and wanting to always help you with food and as kind as her teacher. Always full of energy and smiles.

However, her face was solemn.

And your heart pounded again.

let me lay your mind to rest

"Mitsuri-chan? What are you doing here this early?" You ask the girl. You managed to keep your voice steady, observing her shaking hands and trembling eyes. She couldn't even look at you, staring at the ground.

Maybe deep inside you always knew it. You've seen it coming the moment he mentioned a possible long mission involving a train. Maybe you should've listened to him. You should've listened to your guts. You should've asked him to stay and help you with the preparations instead. You should've listened to the eerie feeling in your head saying make him stay.

"Nee-san, he is..." The love hashira's voice trembled. This time, her swollen green eyes stared right into yours. The obvious message making its way into your throat.

i will stand by you

"Rengoku-san, he... an uppermoon was..." The girl bursted into tears, taking out a bright orange haori, neatly folded, the tinges of red making your vision blur.

"Always, my dearest."

when all of you dreams are shattered,

The sight of blood on your fiance's haori was enough to push out the bile on your throat as you kneeled on the ground.

Ah, you'd refuse to believe it, but the fresh smell of the blood, and the beautiful haori that represented your fiance's never extinguished flame—

Ah, the flame is out.

Mitsuri rub your back as you let out the rest of the bile on your throat out. She cried with you, mourned with you, grieved with you, suffered with you, cared for you.

"I'm sorry... We're so sorry..." The hashira beside you repeated the same again and again.

and your world is left in tatters,

And at the day of your wedding, was your fiance's corpse lying on a casket.

Your stare at his casket was empty. Your mind was blank, your eyes were clouded. You could not even cry anymore, not after those sleepless nights spent crying, being haunted by his smiles even in your dreams and then waking up to nothing.

He was still so beautiful even when you couldn't see him inside the closed casket. Your fiance's smiling face on the picture frame presented kept you awake.

Your parents comforted you beside, his brother was crying beside you, his father was silent, but you could tell he was finally awake too. Too see his son's hardwork. But it was all too late. He too, was awake, to see his son's corpse.

The whole Demon Slayer Corps were present. From the hashira's silently kneeling behind you, to the Master and his family on the other side, to the kakushi's and some mizunotos Rengoku had helped. You were all mourning beside each other, present as a sign of respect to the most loved hashira.

when you're lost, we're lost together

i'll stand by— i will stand by you

You kneeled infront of your fiance, wearing the wearing dress you cut off, turning it into a simple white dress. His tailored coat was put on top of the casket, the ring on your hand and the other with him.

It is clear that when dreams are turned to reality, they warp into a nightmare when you least expect it.

if black is your brightest color,

if hurt is your only lover,

[inoreuct]

During a supply run with Zoro, a well-meaning lady tells Sanji he's pretty. Not handsome, no--PRETTY. "Your swordsman over there is handsome," she says, pointing at Zoro, who's examining liquor bottles over at another stall. "YOU are pretty." How does he react, & what happens next? 👀 (1/2)

he just laughs at first, if only to cover up how that one word from a stranger has hit him like a punch to the gut.

he looks like a man, and people don't call men pretty. rogueish, certainly. even charming; he's gotten that before at least, but pretty? he laughs some more, gives her a smile and a few words that he doesn't even register, and the merchant lady tilts her head. "you don't get that often, do you?"

"never gotten it at all, actually," he answers, bravado draining away to leave a mumble that he isn't even sure she can hear.

but she must have, because she slides his purchases to him and hums, "well, you're very beautiful. anyone'd have to be blind not to see it."

"maybe," he allows hesitantly, taking the bag with a nod of goodbye. he cannot help but feel as though he's realised something that he won't be able to ignore.

and sure enough, back on the ship, the words swim in his mind. they pop up in blinding white font against the dark of his eyelids as he tries and fails to get to sleep. you're very beautiful.

do i want to be beautiful? he asks himself, and halfway through he already knows, he knows the answer. feels it like an ache in his bones.

sanji's never let himself think about it, but once he starts he can't stop. he imagines himself in makeup, pots and pencils and brushes in front of a mirror, his hair fluffed to perfection, lips red as the dawn and a beauty mark beneath his eye. he thinks about what it would feel like to put on a dress, a proper one; cotton and linen traded for silk, starched dress shirts abandoned in favour of satin blouses and full skirts that nip in with ribbon at the waist. he thinks of the wicker wedge sandals that nami sometimes wears. he thinks about being a man, with a little something more.

he flips over and shoves his face into his pillow. he needs to stop thinking about things that he wants but can never have.

*

sanji's usually better at keeping his secrets, but eventually he slips. he should have known it was only a matter of time before the magnitude of it all became too much to bear and spilled out across the floor.

fortunately, his crew is there to catch him.

they take all of it in stride, even though sanji himself doesn't even know what all of it is yet; he figures things out as they go along. he finds clothes that aren't his in his closet, accessories appearing on his dresser. zoro keeps buying him silk blouses and it makes him want to laugh and cry in equal amounts. nami sees her chance to snag a makeup practice dummy and grabs it, which results in many a night in the girls' quarters, fooling around with makeup until they're either too tired or too giddy with laughter. the rest of the crew show their support in smaller ways, though no less significant—

and now, a year later and leaning against the bar counter of a vaguely familiar town, sanji suspects that he's somehow found himself. it hits him with all the grandeur of someone realising oh, it's stopped raining, or oh, tomorrow's tuesday— sinks into him honey-slow like the burn of the whiskey he sips, warm and comfortable, like a coat he hadn't realised he'd been wearing this whole time and had become his favourite without him even knowing. put like that, it sounds incredibly silly; sanji chuckles as he takes another drink, and a hand settles low on his back where the blue velvet of his dress dips down.

"hey, beautiful," zoro whispers by his ear, pressing a kiss to his cheekbone before leaning over his shoulder to order, and sanji smiles as he swirls his glass with a slow twirl of his wrist.

maybe he'll go look for that merchant lady again. he's fairly sure he owes her a thank you.

[c4qwp]

leon kennedy x fem!reader

| a mistake he made that he cannot erase.

📎 tags : angst, female reader, you’re the other woman, ada mentioned, no use of (y/n), cheating, leon being a bitch (whoops)

📎 author’s note : this story is really short, s’gonna have 2 chaperd ig, i cried like a bitch whereas i love angst so thihihi i love it :3

prologue

prologue — a lana song — chapter one

in the beginning, your life together was like a fairy tale. you were deeply in love, sharing dreams and aspirations. every day was filled with excitement, laughter, and new adventures. you would surprise each other with thoughtful gestures and spend hours talking about your hopes and plans for the future. it seemed like nothing could ever break their bond.

as time went on, however, their perfect life began to settle into a comfortable routine. you fell into predictable patterns and became accustomed to the stability you two had created. the once-thrilling surprises became rare, and your conversations became more focused on mundane tasks and responsibilities.

at first, you didn't notice the subtle changes. you two were both busy with your jobs and work, and the routine provided a sense of stability amidst the chaos of life. but as the days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, a sense of dissatisfaction started to creep into your relationship.

your once-passionate love life became less passionate, as intimacy became more routine and predictable. you started to spend less quality time together, getting lost in your individual pursuits. the dreams and aspirations you once shared began to fade, replaced by a sense of complacency.

he was really busy with his work. he had a mission in spain to save the president's wife. which was something very important and stressful.

he never sent you a single message. maybe it was because he was busy or something else...if it was the case. you called him once at 2AM because you were very worried. he did not answer. you called again and miraculously it picked up! you were about to start your sentence with the words you had kept inside you for days saying you were worried sick; when suddenly you heard a...growl? from a animal, right? yeah that's what you guessed since it would be weird if it was something else —

a kiss?

why did you hear a kiss?

'i knew you hadn't changed, pretty boy.'

a woman. a woman voice.

'say no if you don't want it.'

you heard the sound of a kiss. again. it doesn't stop. fuck

your boyfriend was cheating on you. the shock and betrayal cut deep, shattering the trust you had placed in him. you were crying on the phone silently but you finally hung up.

he saw his screen on and saw the call interface in the middle of a call disappear. you heard everything.

he tried to call you back. once. twice. three times. it stays on your answering machine.

you didn't have the courage to see him face to face. his handsome face to discuss all this. you didn't want to cry in front of him. suffer even more. you wrote him 3 letters telling him everything you had in your heart and left your apartment.

3 letters from you

and

1 letter from him

['read them but don't send

me an answer.']

['i don't deserve you. you don't have to forgive me, but please let me talk to you.']

[ninesbey0nd]

Sweet Venom | Heeseung

Fallen Angel! Heeseung x Reader | Oneshot

SYNOPSIS. Unbeknownst to you, one of your fellow classmates happens to be your guardian angel. He watches over you silently, as he is to never interfere with your life’s path. He was sent to protect you. Alas, Heeseung seems to have tabled his duties after your classmate Jay starts getting too close for comfort.

PAIRING. Fallen Angel Heeseung x Reader

GENRE. slight angst, possessive Heesung, strangers to friends to lovers

WARNINGS. Violence, Profanity, Implied/NSFW, Death, Religious Aspects (not really but)

WORD COUNT. 4.5k

if you wanna be added to my tag list lmk! :) <3

“I would give up heaven if I had to, just to get another taste of your sweet venom.”

"I really don't wanna go to this lecture," you whined, taking sloppy steps as your friend Gaeul pulled you behind her.

"We have an exam in this class soon! I don't wanna be responsible for helping you cram a day before." She shook her head, drawing her lips into a thin line.

The two of you hurried to your seats and set down your belongings. The professor hadn't arrived yet, so you both had time to take a breather.

"I hate this fucking class." you groaned, slumping back into your chair while holding your head in your hands. Gaeul nods in agreement, "Literally no one cares about statistics, but we need this class to graduate."

You exchanged a blunt look with Gaeul. She was right, but that didn't make you want to be here any more than you already did. As the professor made his way toward the front of the classroom, you noted a presence settling beside you.

"Oh! Hey Jay." Gaeul gave him a little smile, waving her hand in his direction.

“Ready to be bored to death for an hour?” Jay snickers, elbowing you softly. The class began and the three of you did your best to at least try to understand the professor. He might as well have been a broken record from how much information he repeated, you weren’t complaining though. Less to study, less to remember. The clock hit 11:00 and the students arose from their seats. You stretched out your arms above you, a small yawn escaping through your lips.

“Lunch?” Gaeul pointed toward you and Jay, motioning in the direction of the dining hall.

“Down,” You replied, settling your backpack strap onto your shoulder. Jay nodded along, following after you and Gaeul. 

Most of the students had cleared the lecture hall at this point, however, Heeseung remained seated. His eyes trailed toward where you exited, and he let out a long sigh. His duty was quite simple. As your guardian angel, he must protect you. Granted, he cannot save you from the petty day-to-day interactions however, he does his best to try and steer you away from trouble. He’s already been reprimanded for interjecting himself a little too much in your life, but Heeseung ignored his superiors' comments. He had not broken the golden rule of all guardians: You shall not directly place yourself into your human’s life. Heeseung would never be able to talk to you, sit next to you, interact with you, or anything. He was bitter. As much as he loved being your angel, he wanted to be more to you. He had such a burning passion for you, and he doubted anyone else could match his efforts. You were perfect, in his eyes. 

Heeseung decided to get up, trudging toward your dining area. His expression was anything but pleased. He couldn’t stand sitting afar, watching as you and Jay shared a conversation. Even from a distance, he could still see how your eyes twinkled with playful mischief. How you smiled so brightly, full of pure joy. The way the corners of your lips would curve upward before you laughed at something Gaeul said. 

This was his life. Doomed to watch over you for the rest of his life, without being able to admire you for himself. He hated it. He hated to admit that he was jealous of some worthless human. A long sigh escaped his lungs as his fingers scrunched his hair into a messy fistful. He shook his head, eliminating these thoughts from his mind. He shouldn’t be thinking about this. He shouldn’t be thinking about you. He was your angel, and that was all he would ever be to you. 

The day went on and you attended the rest of your usual classes. Luckily, a professor had cancelled your afternoon class due to roadwork. You silently pumped your fist beside you, thanking the universe that you could leave early. 

Heeseung eyes crinkled into tiny crescents and chuckled to himself, you were just too cute. 

You snacked on some food you brought on your way to the dorms, humming to yourself. Fortunately for you, your campus was on the smaller side. The walk was manageable, and you honestly enjoyed it. It was nice to get a breath of fresh air after being holed up in classrooms for hours. 

You made it to the main campus crosswalk, impatiently waiting for the traffic light to change. When it finally did, you began to briskly walk. You just wanted to be in your bed doing nothing. You were halfway across the road when a car comes racing down the street. The putrid smell of gas floods your senses before you can even think to move. 

I’m gonna fucking die. 

It almost felt like slow motion. You saw the car coming toward you and yet, you couldn’t find strength in your legs to move. Even if you had attempted to dodge, you were simply not fast enough to compete with a speeding vehicle. Your eyes screwed shut, turning your back to the car as if to shield you from the damage it would inflict. When the car had passed and the roaring engine died down, you hesitantly opened your eyes. You were across the crosswalk, untouched. Safe. You stood there for a second, taking in your environment. This was impossible. You definitely did not imagine that car, nor did you believe you made it across the crosswalk in time. 

“Are you okay? That was close," a voice questioned. You lifted your gaze up to meet the boy standing before you. He had fluffy blonde hair that framed his features. His gaze was soft, and a warmth seemed to radiate off of him. He looks like he walked out of a magazine, he’s gorgeous. You stop yourself from gawking and straighten your posture. 

“Hi,” you looked him up and down. Where had he come from? “Uh, yeah I think I’m alright?” You pat down your clothes, as if checking to see that you’re in one piece. 

“If you hadn’t ran last second that car would have seriously hit you! Watch where you’re going,” he scolded with a light and airy tone. 

“I thought–” You paused. You definitely were not even close to the other side of the road, let alone outrun that car. “I’m sorry for worrying you,” you bowed your head awkwardly. “I don’t recognize you, what’s your name?” 

He can’t help but feel a little giddy inside. Had he broken the rule that he swore to never break? Yes. Did he care? Not at all. His lips quirked up into a little smirk. “Heeseung. You’re (Y/N) right?”

Your eyes widened suspiciously. “How do you know my name?” Your brows knit together, looking at the boy with a stern gaze. 

“We have a class together I’m pretty sure. I sit in the back so it makes sense why you wouldn’t have seen me around.” He explained.

“Ah, I guess you’re right.” You nodded, checking your phone for the time. “Well, I should get back to my dorm. It was nice meeting you Heeseung! I’ll see you in class.” You waved at him before you trekked your way to the dorms. 

He returned your wave with a smile, hesitating to walk away to make sure you were alright. Heeseung was more worried about your well-being than the fact that he broke his oath to the Arch Angels. Surely they wouldn’t find out so quickly, right? There were millions of guardian angels occupying Earth with the same duties. He sucked in a breath, holding it in his lungs before exhaling. It was time to go ‘home’. He frowned, drawing what looked like a star in the air before vanishing.

“What were you thinking?” The Arch Angel gazed down upon Heeseung, her voice strained with concern. “You made an oath, Heeseung.” Another chimed in. Heeseung knelt before the Arch Council, his head hanging low. 

“I couldn’t watch them die. You have to understand–!” He cried out. 

“Silence.” The Arch Angels hushed the crowd. 

“Heeseung,” she began. “You broke your oath to us, your brothers, and your assigned heavenly duties.” She paused, a look of disappointment flashing across her soft features. 

“Come forward.” She gestured Heeseung to stand and come forth.

He stood from his knees, his hands folded in front of him. 

“You will not return here. Ever” She declared. “You are to be stripped of your angelic features and sent to earth as a mortal.”

Heeseung nearly choked on air. “What do you mean–?” 

She silenced him again, beginning to make her way down to where he stood. When she arrived, Heeseung was trembling. What was she going to do? She came face to face with Heeseung, pressing her thumb to his forehead. A searing pain ripped through his body and he nearly doubled over. He felt like his soul was being torn away from him. 

“I’m sorry, Heeseung.” She embraced the quivering boy who now gargled sounds of pain. He had never felt physical pain before. Her hands made their way to his back, running down his shoulder blades before his face contorted in agony. She was stripping him of his wings. He couldn’t begin to process the burning sensation that erupted from his back. He couldn’t even speak. He dropped to his knees, barely catching himself with his hands. He couldn’t breathe. His entire body was trembling and burning. Is this really just punishment for offending the oath?

The Arch Angel stepped back from Heeseung. “Goodbye, Heeseung.”

Heeseung awoke in a daze. He couldn’t move. He didn’t know where he was. He was mutilated. He shut his eyes, rallying the strength to pull himself up and off the ground. His head was throbbing, not to mention his arms that were going numb from the pain. He appeared to be in some sort of school building. Doors lined the hallway with various name tags and decorations. What was this place? He stumbled around, doing his best to act as normal as he could. He wandered around until discovering a room with his name on it. He paused. After abusing him in heaven they were ‘gracious’ enough to give him someplace to stay? He scoffed to himself, rolling his eyes before he gripped the door handle and slowly swung it open. It was very bare, but he wasn’t complaining. Better than being left on the streets. He sprawled out onto the twin sized bed, sucking in a sharp breath. 

“Fuck.” His eyes fluttered shut in frustration. He would explore his surroundings later. For now, he opted to lay on the dingy little mattress. Anything to slightly relieve him of the pain he had endured. Resting his body, Heesung drifted off into a slumber. Tomorrow, he hoped it would be better. He silently wished that this was some sort of sick prank his superiors were playing on him. To get him to abide by the rules. Despite knowing in the back of his mind that it was not the case, he entertained the thought. 

The sun dripped over his features, a gentle reminder that the next day had come. He pulled himself up, wincing slightly but felt his arms regaining some of their strength. He only had one pair of clothes, and near zero essentials that humans typically have. He sighed. He had a bank account on earth just because, however, he never thought he’d actually have to use it. Money was a funny concept to him. He had never had to exchange paper for an item. He found it odd. Regardless, he gathered up his things and set out to explore.

It was a surprise to him when he exited the building to find himself on your campus. He was back here? He knit his brows together in confusion, then suddenly he was elated. He was on your campus. He didn’t have to abide by those stupid rules set for him. He could talk to you freely without consequence! He felt a sense of excitement rise in his chest. He had to find you somehow. He knew where your classes were, so maybe he could catch you in an afternoon class you had. He silently prayed he would get an opportunity to talk with you today.

The afternoon rolled around and you had just sat down at your afternoon lecture. You haphazardly yanked the notebook out from your back and smacked it onto your desk. This week had been too long. You needed this class to be over and done with. The door handle twists and a familiar face appears. 

His eyes meet yours and he shoots you a grin, “mind if I sit with you?”

“Yeah that's fine with me,” you nodded your head, scooting over so that Heeseung would have a comfortable amount of space. “So this is the class where you sit all the way in the back, hmm?” You quirked an eyebrow toward the boy.

“Ah, yeah. I sat in the back row.” Heeseung sheepishly admitted, running a hand through his hair. 

“Well, at least now we can sit together!” You beamed.

“Cute,” Heeseung whispers under his breath, his lips curling into a smile at your sentiment. “You better watch out and hope I don’t distract you during lecture,” he nudged her elbow.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t mind. This class bores me to death anyways.” You stretched your arms out in front of you, folding them into a pretzel and resting your head on them. “At least this is the last class for the day, or, at least for me.” You chirped. 

Heeseung nodded. “Do you have any plans after class?” He wrung his hands together under the desk, praying you didn’t have any obligations.

“Yeah I do! I’m going to a really cute cafe with my friends Gaeul and Jay. Do you know them?”

Heeseung held himself back from cringing at the mention of Jay’s name. He shook his head, “No I don’t think I recognize those names, are they our year?”

You nodded, pulling out your phone to bring up the many pictures you had of the three of you. “I think you’d get along with them, they’re super fun and sweet. Actually, did you wanna come with us?” You looked at him expectantly.

Heeseung never said yes faster in his life. He coughed, catching his breath calming himself to avoid future embarrassment. “Yeah, I’d love to,” he grinned, meeting your gaze with a look of giddiness. 

“Yay I’m glad! I’ll let them know you’re coming,” you began tapping on your phone, opening the group chat you had with Gaeul and Jay. 

(Y/N): Hey!! I invited my friend Heeseung to come with us today after class, is that alright with you guys?? He doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends and I think you guys would really like him :)

Gaeul <;3: Yes omg!!! Please bring him we need more energy in this group,,

Jay: What’s that supposed to mean… 

Gaeul <;3: Anyways, I’ll see you both later ! <3

Jay: Okay,, ╥ ╥

(Y/N): Love you both, see ya <3 !!

You slid your phone back into your pocket, looking back at Heeseung. “Ah, lecture’s gonna start now,” you pouted, fixing you’re posture and opening your notebook.

“At least we have something to look forward to after class,” Heeseung reminded you, which seemed to lift your spirits. The lecture went on as normal, the professor talking for a straight hour of bullshit. You really couldn’t comprehend how he managed to waste an hour of your day every time this class was scheduled. The time eventually hit where students began to prematurely pack their bags and put away their things so they could bolt out of this godforsaken room. You couldn’t blame them, you were the same.

“Heeseung,” you loosely grabbed his sleeve. It took Heesung by surprise, he flinched before his eyes landed on your hand. 

“Uh. yeah what’s up?” He smiled, trying to suppress the large grin his face threatened to display. 

“We’re gonna meet Gaeul and Jay at the main parking lot, lets walk together!”

The two of you walked side by side across the campus. He learned a bit more about you, granted, he saw you everyday of his life. You just didn’t know he existed until a day ago. He didn’t mind though. Being able to talk to you was more than enough to satisfy him.

“(Y/N)!” You heard Gaeul yell, her body jumping up and down while she waved her arms in the air. You giggled to yourself, beginning to quicken your pace toward your friend. “You excited? I can’t wait to try all the yummy pastries!” Gaeul pumped her arms next to her, a fire blazing in her eyes. She had a very bubbly persona at school, but when it came to food she was so serious. There was nothing more she enjoyed than a good sweet treat. 

“Me too, I was looking at the menu earlier and I saw they have a lot of crepe flavors.” You licked your lips, imaging the sweet sugary dessert already.

“Alright alright, let’s get moving then shall we?” Jay interjected. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was really excited to try their cute drinks and little treats. Heeseung stood beside you, hands resting in his pockets. He really didn’t care about Gaeul or Jay. They didn’t concern him right now, at least. He tolerated them though, only because they were your friends.

Jay and Gaeul sat in the front while you and Heeseung sat next to one another in the back. The car ride was short, but the moments where your knees would accidentally touch made Heeseung crazy. He still couldn’t believe this was his reality. It was absolutely horrid that he was denounced as an angel, but he would give up heaven for you. 

The four of you sat down at a circular table in the center of the cafe. A white table cloth was neatly draped over the wooden platform and gold rimmed plates and saucers decorated the table. Even the silverware was painted with dainty gold detailing. 

Gaeul was absolutely going wild, taking pictures of literally anything and everything in this room. She was so in love. “If the place looks this good, I bet the food will be even better,” she squealed excitedly. 

“Don’t eat the whole cafe, Gaeul.” Jay jokingly nudged her, shooting her a smug look.

“Hey, don’t yuck my yum.” She huffed, crossing her arms and turning away from Jay.

You couldn’t help but laugh. Being with them always made you feel safe. The three of you always shared such a carefree attitude that made your school days go by much quicker. 

“So, what are you thinking about ordering?” You leaned over to see what Heeseung was investigating on the menu. 

“I don’t know, do you have any recommendations? I haven’t really had many of these desserts before.” He spoke sheepishly, reading down the list of pastries and confectioneries. 

“I really like crepes! I think they're sooo fluffy and sweet and–” You took in a breath, shutting your eyes. “They’re just so good you have to try them,” you placed your hand on Heeseungs. “Like, you have to try a crepe while we’re here.”

Heeseung grinned at your antics, he of course, ended up ordering a crepe like you suggested. The time at the cafe went well without a hitch. Although Heeseung didn’t really talk much, you sensed that he felt comfortable.

“Hey (Y/N), what kind of crepe did you get?” Jay tilted his head, eye-ing your dish from beside you. 

“Oh! I got the honey mixed nut banana one. It’s honestly better than I thought,” your fork poked your crepe softly. “Did you wanna try some?” You began slicing at a small portion of your dessert.

“I mean, if you don’t mind,” Jay looked to the side, a small smile painting his lips. 

“Yeah I don’t mind!” You beamed, setting the piece on Jay’s plate. 

“Can I try it too?” Heeseung leaned toward you, almost to the point where you could feel his breath fanning across your face. 

“A-ah yeah! Of course,” you shook your head to get yourself out of that trance. You were probably imagining things. 

When you cut off the crepe piece, you were about to set it on his plate when he tilted his head. He looked up at you expectantly, touching his lips to your fork. You flushed, he wanted you to feed it to him? It felt more intimate than it should have when his lips nibbled at the fork, cleaning the utensil of any stray crumbs. You watched his expression change into a euphoric expression.

“Wow, that is really good.” He looked back toward you, his tongue swiping any honey tidbits that stuck to his lips. His gaze lingered on yours just for a moment longer before he pulled away from you, straightening himself and returning to lounging in his chair. 

The entire time this scene is playing out Gaeul is watching Jay. He did not look pleased at all. She had a suspicion that Jay had liked you for some time, but this confirmed it for her. After all, what man would NOT be upset watching the girl feed another man. When she stole a glance toward Heeseung she could’ve swore he glared at Jay. Awkward. She knew they hadn’t met before, but the tension between them felt vicious already. Regardless, you didn’t seem to pick up on it so she opted to ignore her suspicions for now.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” You waved toward Gaeul and Jay. They lived in a different dorm complex than you, so you parted ways in the parking lot. 

“Can I walk you home?” Heeseung offered, it almost came out as a whisper. Was he nervous?

“Y-yeah thats fine,” you nodded your head vigorously, unsure of what to say next. 

The walk back to your dorm was quiet. Heeseung strode next to you comfortably. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but instead a mutually agreed upon atmosphere. The two of you would occasionally bump arms and mutter a string of apologies to one another before laughing. Despite not knowing Heesung for long, you could already tell you felt safe in his presence. It wasn’t something you could put into words, but whenever you were around him you just felt as if you were weightless. 

“Well, this is my dorm building,” you stopped in front of a long stone building. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Heeseung smiled, his eyes twinkling. 

“Yeah for sure!” You nodded eagerly. You began to take a step back toward your dorm when you felt Heeseung loosely wrap his fingers around your forearm. Spinning around, you looked him up and down. Your heart was beating out of your chest, and you swore you could hear the blood rushing through your ears. 

“Sorry if I startled you,” Heeseung released his grasp and hugged his arm back to his own chest. “I was just wondering if I could get your number? So we can maybe exchange notes or hang out if you want?” He internally cringed, hoping he wasn’t coming off as weird.

“Yeah!” You almost exclaimed a bit too loudly. “Um, yeah here’s my phone if you want to put in your contact info,” you fished your device out from your pocket and handed it to Heeseung. The tips of your fingers tingled as his hand brushed against yours in that moment. After he was done inputting his info, he handed your phone back to you. 

You couldn’t help but grin when you saw he named his contact ‘Heeseungie <3’

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Heeseung smiled softly, lingering before walking further down the street. 

Today couldn’t have been better. His head replayed the moment in the cafe with you on loop. He could tell Jay was furious with his actions, but he didn’t care. He was just ahead of the game compared to Jay. He didn’t stand a chance. And even if he did, Heeseung wouldn’t let Jay get any further.

“Oh my god (Y/N), is that what I think it is?” Gaeul’s eyes widened to the size of saucers as she eyed the small purple blotch sitting on your collarbone.

“Gaeul!” You hissed playfully, pulling your shirt collar up to try and hide the mark. 

“No way…” She gaped at you. “(Y/N)? (Y/N) that has never even held hands with a man? Is this the real (Y/N)??” Gaeul kept asking questions, disbelief washed across her features.

“Okay Shh SHhh,” You shook Gaeul’s shoulders gently. Your lips curved into a sly smile before sucking in a deep breath. “Yes it is what you think it is,” the words spilled out of your mouth quickly.

“(Y/N) what the fuck! You didn’t tell me anything about this, I thought we were besties. Who was it?” Gaeul frowned dramatically, drawing a fake tear down her cheek. 

“I just– I wasn’t planning on anything happening! But then y’know it just,” you flailed your hands in the air. “Please don’t tell anyone,” you clasped your hands together. “I don’t want rumors to start or have people get the wrong idea about me,” you pleaded.

“Who would I tell? You know I don’t really talk to anyone else except you guys. So, who was it!” Gaeul stated, referring to the group.

“Okay okay fine it was–” you stammered.

“Morning Gaeul, (Y/N).” Jay appeared from the turn in the hall. You both turned your heads to acknowledge his appearance and greet him. 

“Hey Jay,” Gaeul shot him a sympathetic look, her lips tightening into a thin line. She had talked with Jay the night before about how he felt, and was actually planning on asking you out today; had it not been for the peculiar bruise on your chest. Your weight shifted uncomfortably from side to side. You had picked up that Jay wasn’t in the best mood, and looked between Gaeul and Jay. 

“You guys wanna do anything after class? We could grab dinner at that new restaurant down the street,” you proposed.

“Yeah! That sounds yum,” Gaeul excitedly clapped her hands together. Jay opened his mouth to respond but was quickly gagged when a pair of arms wrapped around your shoulders lazily. 

“Morning,” Heeseung pressed a kiss to your temple, settling his head atop your shoulder. “So, dinner tonight?”

“I’m good.” Jay remarked, hiking his backpack further up his shoulder. “Anyways, I’m gonna get to class early. Bye.” 

The three of you watched Jay walk off, disappearing into the halls. Meanwhile, Gaeul was stupified.

”Oh my god, (Y/N).” She punched you in the arm.

“What??” You laughed, wrapping your hands around Heeseung’s arms. 

“Ah, I guess I got you in trouble,” Heeseung looked to the side, a smirk toying with the edge of his lips. “Sorry baby,” he mumbled into the nape of your neck.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. You should be glad I’m not mad at you,” you lightly tapped him on the head.

He grinned, simply cuddling into you and savoring your scent. Although he hadn’t succeeded in the heavenly duties he was assigned, it no longer mattered to him. In his eyes, he would give up heaven for you anytime. Always.

[howlingday]

for most of remnant you strengthen your aura by strengthening your body, jaune and ren discover that you can do the opposite and strengthen your body by strengthening your soul and gaining greater enlightenment. the only issue is now they keep talking like philosophers and reacting to everything their friends do with "hmmm yes very wise" or "hmmm no not very wise" if it weren't for the fact that they were now the strongest in beacon they'd probably get beaten up

Wise Men

Jaune: Mm...

Ren: Mm...

Jaune and Ren sat across from one another, nodding their heads in agreement. Nobody's sure what exactly happened, but all of a sudden, the two of them were so buddy-buddy that they started hosting Bro-Wisdom sessions. During these, they would sit on beanbags they bought, lay back and share "wisdom" with one another like they were college monks.

Jaune: The pizza guy is running late.

Ren: Mm. Should we pay him in full?

Jaune: Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.

Ren: Mm. That is very wise, but also unwise. Perhaps he is late for matters beyond his control? Perhaps the oven broke, or he was attacked by pizza-hungry Grimm.

Jaune: Would Grimm eat pizza?

Ren: Pizza is a construct of mankind, and they will consume and destroy all that humans create, including other humans.

Jaune: Mm. That is very wise.

And it wasn't just each other that the two would share their supposed "philosophies" with. For example, Jaune and Ren happened upon a struggling Weiss Schnee, who was attempting to perfect her glyphs to match her older sister's level. The advice was... offered.

Ren: Mm. Quit, don't quit.

Weiss: I'm not quitting.

Jaune: Glyphs, don't glyphs.

Weiss: I'm doing my glyphs!

Ren: You are too focused on what was and what will be.

Weiss: I... What?

Jaune: There is a saying. The past is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift!

Ren: That is why it is called the present.

Weiss: ...

The two would then retreat to their beanbags, and begin anew with their "discussions". Nora tried to join in, but she couldn't get it at all! She wanted to throw them out the window. As she reached for Jaune, though, he didn't react at all. All he did was share his wisdom.

Jaune: Your mind is like a pond, Nora. When you are agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow your mind to settle, the answer becomes clear.

Nora: ...Are there ducks in my mind pond?

She spent the rest of the afternoon on that question. Pyrrha tried to reach them as well, but they were somehow less open-minded to the idea of change than they seemingly preached. It especially didn't help that they continued to off their nonsensical notions as "philosophy."

Jaune: When people say clean as a whistle, they forget that a whistle is full of spit, and thus unclean.

Ren: Mm. That is very wise.

Pyrrha: Jaune, I don't think it's a scenario people think too hard on. You need to get back to training!

Ren: Mm. You're only young once. Once you learn that, you're on your own.

Jaune: Mm, that is unwise. Youth is a state of mind, though it is affected by how one treats their body. If you load up on junk food, your body will slow itself and you will feel old.

Ren: Mm. That is very wise.

Pyrrha: NO, IT ISN'T! Ack! I'm sorry~!

Jaune: Pyrrha, you are too obsessed with the notion of destiny. You must remove yourself from the illusion of control.

Pyrrha: Illusion?! I am in control of my destiny, Jaune! That is no illusion!

Jaune: Mm. That is very unwise, Pyrrha. Look at Nora chasing that squirrel. I cannot make her stop when I want her to.

Pyrrha took her spear in hand and tossed it in front of Nora and her fuzzy quarry. In fear, the squirrel ran towards the school, and Nora followed. Then Pyrrha pulled back her spear, and then tossed her shield with Nora's pancake mix on it. Nora followed the floury discus until she was no longer chasing the squirrel, instead eating raw pancake dust with her bare hands.

Pyrrha: No, but I can control where the squirrel runs to. And I can control what Nora chases after! THAT is no illusion!

Jaune: Yes, but she will always be Nora. You may want her to be a Pyrrha or a Jaune, but she will always be Nora.

Ren: Mm. That is very wise. Very wise indeed.

[an-annyeoing-writer]

yandere!Kai x Reader: petty theft. [+18]

Word count: 3 371

Tags: yandere!AU, smut, obedience training, bratty behavior, extreme degradation, sadom*sochism, in case you feel like Reader is high don't worry it's just subspace.

Warnings: s*xual content, potentially triggering themes such as toxic relationship traits, friendly reminder it's a fiction and not what we expect our IRL Nini to be.

Author's note: It's been a while since I wrote anything like that. Took quite a bit of effort as for such a small piece, but I hope to be releasing more content in the future~ Probably a Baekhyun fic will come around Halloween, so stay tunned!

His word was an order and you were addicted to giving up the sense of control. It was a perfect kind of deal between the two of you: him who would take everything without asking, and you who’d follow him without a moment of doubt.

Your relationship was anything but reasonable, anything but right, and anything but prosperous. But it was giving you some sense of fulfillment that no other had ever given, and it was a form of self-destruction that you could take with masochistic pleasure.

It would be a lie to say that it was the only unhinged thing that you enjoyed. Some things you liked more, some you liked less. Maybe it was your toxic trait to allow his obsession to get this far without objection, so you could drink up from all the pain and torment that he could offer.

“You have done it again.” His voice rumbled through the apartment. “Give it back.”

Recently, you felt lonelier than usual. When he would work and do other business stuff, or meet his friends even, you’d be locked up in his apartment with close to no source of entertainment. You were over with attempts to get out or to contact someone from the outside – these never brought anything good.

But you still felt the need to itch him in some way that would make him come to you and take it out on you. He had taken note of the pattern, you noticed – you’d be surprised if he didn’t. When someone steals your wallet three times in a row, it cannot be an accident.

The wallet was stored neatly under your pillow and the moment he entered your room, hand extended in expectation of receiving back the stolen item, you didn’t even pretend not to know what’s it all about.

Without hurry but neither taking too much time, you pushed yourself off the mattress and retrieved the wallet, then walked over to Jongin and placed it in his hand. The man’s eyes were fixated at you, although you couldn’t yet tell what he was thinking.

“Why do you always do that?”

You shrugged, a bit too embarrassed to state aloud your silly reasoning.

“You just wanted attention, didn’t you?”

He could read you like a book, couldn’t he? You hesitantly nodded your head.

The man shook his own with a sigh.

“What do I do with you. If I punish you as you want so badly, you’ll keep doing it whenever you feel like it.” You pouted. “I need to correct you in a way that discourages you from doing it again, right?”

There was a sense of fear mixed with excitement starting to grow within your stomach.

He stared at you with his face unreadable, and you felt like that stare had no other purpose but to make you start doubting in yourself, with nervousness arising that you were not sure you enjoyed anymore.

There was some sense of negative emotion on his side. As long as it was only irritation, you could handle it. But what if he was actually upset? What if you acting up had ruined something within his daily schedule? What if he wasted too much time trying to look for it or picking up stuff he then couldn’t pay for? Hopefully he didn’t get a fine on his way for not having his documents on.

“[F/n].”

You straightened up as if on command. Sensing the fear finally settle in and uneasiness become tangible on your face, Jongin’s demeanor started to shift. From cold and emotionless, a smug smirk appeared in the corner of his lip, and he crossed his arms with the wallet still held between his fingers.

Suddenly, his grip on the wallet loosened, and the item fell out of his hand and dropped to the floor with a thud. The noise was objectively quiet but in the silence surrounding you, it made your heart thump. Jongin didn’t flinch.

“Pick it up.”

You didn’t hesitate, crouching down and picking up the item, carefully putting it in his hand again.

However, the man didn’t move, and neither did he put any effort in holding it, and so the wallet fell back down. You stared at him in confusion.

“Pick it up.”

You gulped. The task was confusing, but refusing it was out of question. You picked the wallet up again and put it in his hand, this time holding it in there until you felt his fingers wrap around it securely. You breathed a soft sigh of relief when they did.

And then he dropped it again. The noise of the item falling down echoed with a nervous pang in your chest, as if it was not just a sound of a wallet falling, but a thunder at least.

You didn’t hesitate before crouching down yet another time, picking it up and extending your hand, although ready for the item to be denied again.

Jongin tilted his head to the side.

“I didn’t tell you to pick it up.”

He stepped forward, making sure that the step made noise on the wooden panels, and that noise was yet another sound that made you flinch, as if any motion coming from him could be a threat right now.

“You know what I mean, don’t you?” he spat. “If I tell you to do something, you do it. If I don’t tell you to, you don’t. If I tell you not to breathe, you fucking don’t.”

His hand shot forward, wrapping around your throat, and you thoughtlessly released the wallet, hands reaching to hold his wrist instead. You knew that fighting him would be futile, and to be frank, you wouldn’t even dare to do so. His hold wasn’t too strong, fingers pressing against the veins but not depriving you from air just yet. But a single attempt of taking a bigger breath made you choke on your own saliva and you gasped, trying to loosen his hold at least a little.

“Hands down.” The command was simple, and you felt tears gather in your eyes when you forced yourself to ignore the discomfort and take your hands off his own. The tips of your toes and fingers started to tingle.

Without any warning, the hold on your throat finally disappeared, and you coughed, bending in half because your legs almost gave up underneath you. You had just a few moments of rest before the next words came.

“Pick it up. With your teeth.”

You didn’t have to courage to look up at him.

Besides, from your position it was closer to the ground anyway.

You crouched down shakily, letting your knees and palms hit the floor. You repositioned yourself slightly so that the wallet would be in a convenient proximity and lowered your head, briefly thinking of how dirty the item must have been, being one of those never-washed items that are constantly in use outdoors. But that was not important. Your task was.

Your mouth was merely centimeters from the leather surface when you felt something touch the top of your head. From a brief sensation, it gradually strengthened into a pressure that pressed your face down into the floor. You peeked to the side, confirming the suspicion that it was nothing else but Jongin’s shoe weighing down on top of your head.

Your body quivered. It was a natural reflex to try and fight against the force, but you knew better than that – the only way was to give in, even when your cheek started to hurt from the pressure. It would hurt just a bit longer, and then you’d feel the bliss of submission overcome any and all pain. You breathed heavily, trying to at least position yourself a bit more comfortably.

Wordlessly, Jongin took his foot off your head, allowing you to finish the task. The wallet’s texture felt gross on your tongue, and you did your best to touch it only with your teeth. You lifted yourself until you were kneeling, and then tiled your head upwards, praying so that he would just take the wallet back without playing any more games.

You breathed a sigh of relief when his fingers pulled the item gently from between your teeth.

Noticing your saliva gathered on the surface, Jongin brought the item to your face, and you flinched, muscle memory awaiting a slap to your cheek.

But the slap didn’t come, and instead, he wiped the wallet on your face, and you pressed your lips together, doing your best to stay still during the humiliating treatment.

Upon finishing the act, he smoothly tucked the wallet in his back pocket, the item quickly forgotten and nothing left to stand in between you and Jongin’s mercy – or lack thereof. His attention, now focused on you solely, felt intimidating.

“Up.”

Although the order was rather vague, you didn’t hesitate rising onto your feet.

“Down.”

Your mind was already hazy, and so it didn’t feel so weird anymore to fulfill the Sisyphean task.

“Up.”

In fact, there were no thoughts left in your mind to even think about whatever the point of the requests was. There was only full obedience, and as long as he told you what to do, you had a goal to live for.

“Down.”

The floor already managed to warm up underneath your body, although your legs were growing tired. But all of these were just secondary sensations, your eyes, half-lidded in your masochistic high, were fixated on his own.

“You like it?”

You nodded, your tongue like a jelly making it hard to speak a word, but Jongin didn’t seem to mind.

“See? It’s so much better when you listen. You feel so good and I’m happy. Why change that?” You sensed a threat lingering in his voice and felt an urge to soothe it, so you leaned forward and pressed your face into his thigh, like a pet asking for that little bit of intimacy from its owner. The comparison seemed very accurate in your situation. “Are you tired, yet?” You nodded with a lazy smile. “I don’t think so.”

The next motion came completely unexpected, the man’s fingers grabbing your hair at the roots, pulling you off his thigh and pressing your face into his crotch instead.

“You’re not tired, sweetheart. I haven’t told you to be tired yet.”

The persuasion took your breath away. You dreamed of nothing more than of succumbing to the drugged-like state of your mind, but Jongin was merciless as he unzipped his pants with one hand, the other wrapped around your hair tightly when he pushed his length into your mouth before you could even take a good glance.

You gagged, your throat completely unprepared for the rough treatment. Jongin only pushed in harder until your nose touched his abdomen, and then held you in this position for a few seconds despite you gagging and choking. He pulled out, letting you take a short breath, and then pushed back in – your reactions much weaker this time.

It took some moments, a few pushes like that, until you finally started giving up again, and Jongin picked up his face, aligning it with his own pleasure. Your throat started to accommodate around him, but every rougher motion teared your eyes up. His movements were frantic, almost wild, and nothing but selfish.

There was no regard for your comfort, and it made you thrive. Your mind – covered in a fog. Nothing felt real. You diverted your attention from the sloppy noises of your own mouth being used, because somewhere not so far away, Jongin’s beautiful, although sparse moans filled the air like a heavenly music that you could just not get enough of.

Your jaw was starting to ache. It was hardly possible to breathe. You were lightheaded and too dazed to even acknowledge your own arousal starting to pool between your legs. Your skin was tingling all over, your scalp – burning, and you could swear you saw stars for a moment.

But Jongin’s pace was relentless, and something about that cruel, degrading demeanor was turning you on even more. He was making such good use of you, his obedient little doll.

It didn’t even matter that your hands were too weak to try and help him feel even better, because all Jongin seemed to care about was that your mouth felt so warm and nice.

It was just mere minutes that your mind barely registered before you felt him harden even more. You heard no warning, but his heavy pants and gasps – the ones you already learned to recognize – told you enough.

He suddenly pushed into your mouth with full force, his fingers holding your head in place as he came hard and fast, not even a taste present on your tongue with how his semen ran straight down your throat.

You gagged, a cough fruitlessly trying to tear through, everything inside of you screaming for relief that for those few seconds was completely unreachable. You only fought for his cum not to get into your lungs or leave through your nose, a desperate attempt on remaining at least remotely human in this absolutely dehumanizing experience.

Jongin finally pulled out of your mouth, and you frantically choked and coughed, catching desperate breaths, careless of his semen and your saliva running now down your chin and dropping onto your shirt and the floor below.

Your hands were still too weak to try and wipe it, your legs felt like cotton candy that absolutely wouldn’t hold you up, and you only bent down, leaning into his leg for comfort again, which this time brought even more peace and relief when you felt him reach down and place his hand on top of your head, stroking your hair gently, giving you all the time to catch your breath and recover. You felt so dizzy and so tired, so lowly but also so at ease.

“Up.”

Your body moved on its own before you consciously registered his voice. With legs feeling like a jelly, you forced yourself up. He must have composed yourself while you were down on the floor, and there was a stark contrast between him – looking as neat as ever – and you, completely whored out, not even remotely decent in appearance.

“That’s my girl.”

The praise tasted like champagne, sedating you further.

“Come here.”

He circled you and put his hands underneath your elbows. With mellow motions, he led you towards your bed and then pushed you onto the mattress. You landed softly and helplessly among cloud-like pillows and blankets.

The strong urge to melt and fall asleep has been abruptly interrupted by the man’s hands tugging at your pants and pulling them down to your knees. You hazily thought that it would be nice to get used once again, although your muscles wouldn’t really support you much and you’d be just a limp doll trapped underneath him. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Wake up, princess” he mocked, tapping your face – too gently to call it a slap in your dictionary, but not particularly affectionately either. You must have not noticed when your eyes slipped closed, and so you forced them back open.

You sensed Jongin’s hand hovering your womanhood, its warmth spreading all over your skin in a pleasant manner.

You could swear you could fall back asleep, but his two fingers suddenly intruded your entrance, making sure to cause a little bit of prickling pain even despite all that wetness that would make it so easy to accommodate to him. You let out a small whimper of discomfort.

“Wake up, love. There’s one more lesson you need to learn.” The pet names persuaded you to muster last bits of strengths – his words tasted so delicious, sweet proofs of Jongin’s own devotion for you, and what more could you possibly want? You reached with your arms to wrap them around the man’s neck in a loving, albeit somewhat pleading embrace.

“Could I be tired…?” you asked a bit jokingly, but also knowing that he’d appreciate that you kept his words in mind.

Jongin laughed softly.

But then his smile suddenly fell and his face darkened.

“Not. Yet” he spat out, fingers pushing deep into your core. Sensation wouldn’t be so pleasant normally, and it was clear that he also did not mean to please you, but you were growing deprived and just as the humiliation earlier, mere touch of him on your private parts made you squeal in arousal.

He joined one more finger, stretching you out easily with a sprinkle of pain. Small brushes of his thumb against your clit made you overflow with thirst, but he just wouldn’t do enough to quench it for you.

“Please…” You tried pressing yourself against his palm for any more of the sweet friction, but the other hand was quick to wrap around your neck and push you down into the mattress, rendering you absolutely helpless. The position yet again sent warmth down to your core, and you felt as though if he was to slap you in the face at that exact moment, you could simply cum just from that.

But Jongin couldn’t care less. He turned from stretching you to fucking you with his fingers, brushing against your sweet spot so sparsely despite the fast pace that you felt like you could lose your mind. You were pathetically mewling for any sort of actual relief.

And that was when he just stopped.

You moved your hips as if it would provide the friction instead, but both of his hands were suddenly gone. You pressed your thighs together, reaching with your own hand to finish yourself off, but it was slapped away before you could even get close, and so you sobbed in frustration, wriggling on the damn mattress as if it would soothe your need.

It took you a few painfully long moments to come back to your senses. Breath slowing down, the buzzing feeling in your head subsiding, sensation coming back into your limbs.

Your eyes eventually registered Jongin – he was resting his cheek on top of your bent knee, arms wrapped loosely around your leg in an intimate, loving position, so different from his cruel demeanor mere moments before.

He sat there in silence, watching your desperate and chaotic state with a small, content smile on his face, as if he took pride in nothing more than making you this pathetic, this hopeless, in drowning you in your own despair.

Your heart was slowing down, but it would be a lie to say that you felt any better. Your thighs were all wet from your arousal, and everything down there ached with how the pleasure was ruthlessly drawn away.

“Please” you mumbled with remains of strength, although you weren’t sure if your body could take any more of mistreatment.

“You can be tired now, love.”

Your eyes widened in realization.

“B-but…”

“Hm?”

Jongin’s head tilted innocently, although the look on his face held a threat behind, one that you wouldn’t dare to try and challenge. Your face must have displayed absolute defeat, all while Jongin’s was nothing but pleased.

“That’s what I thought, sweetheart.” His hand reached and patted your cheek lovingly, although there was something objectifying in it, as if he was patting a pet, or a favorite car, and not his lover’s face. You accepted your defeat.

Jongin sat next to you as you succumbed into the embrace of sleep, watching over you. Like a guardian angel – although a demon would be more appropriate in regards to his persona. You smiled at the thought.

With a tender kiss to your forehead, he whispered a goodnight, covering you with a blanket cozily and placing the fluffiest pillow right by your head, so you could wrap your arms around it if you’d like. Eventually, when he was certain you were almost asleep, he carefully got up from his place on your mattress and walked to the door, shutting it quietly to let you finally rest in the peace of your own space.

And in the last moments before falling asleep, you only wondered how long you will be allowed to rest before he notices that you pickpocketed his wallet again.

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed this piece. Please reblog if you're able to, feedback will also be appreciated!!

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Rana/Neve ship alphabet to flesh out some dynamic headcanons - SFW version

Most of these are answered in a sort of post-canon together, when they're working in their detective agency. But also I'm inconsistent.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

They're sweeties once their walls come down. Neither is a big feelings-talker if they can avoid it; there are times when only words will do, but thankfully many other times when actions speak louder. What really counts for both of them is effort and time, so that's how they show each other their love day to day.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

We know all about Neve, thee ride or die, through her canon friendships with Rook and Bellara especially. Rana is pretty similar but more upbeat/less cagey - a ride or die (she learned her lesson when she didn't ride for Neve against Aelia in Tevinter Nights - and Neve almost died), a bit of an earnest dork, generally friendly and helpful.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cuddling comes to both of them slowly like awkward shelter cats. They have sex, then what? Is it okay to want to touch each other still, once they're "done"? It takes some time before they're comfortable touching each other outside of that context. Neve used to feel smothered being on the bottom at all, but she comes to love the feeling of Rana (taller, heavier) laying on top of her, head on her chest. She likes to scratch Rana's scalp or rub her shoulders. Rana likes it too; she feels reassured that Neve is safe, warm, and happy and there's no better way to be sure than listen to her heart and feel her full-body warmth. When they sleep, either Rana is usually the big spoon or she lies on her back with Neve cradled against her side. They each need their space sometimes, even in bed, so they don't sleep all tangled up every night.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

"Settling down" is a little off-base for Rana and Neve - neither desires a "traditional" life and neither is likely to want to slow down on work any time soon. But in the way "settling down" means "maturing in a relationship, choosing it, and prioritizing it in one's life", then yes, they want that. Neve is certified disaster woman and has limited domestic skills, as Rana and others tease her about. Her apartment is "clean" in the sense that she doesn't have anything in it and is never there to make it dirty. She has a hotplate and can Prepare Food but cannot Cook, but can wash a mean dish and pick a great wine. Rana was both raised to be a homemaker and is a generally fastidious person, so her domestic skills are great. Her room is always in perfect condition, her laundry is all ironed, she washes dishes as she uses them. She hasn't had much opportunity to cook, having spent her adult life living in the Templar quarters, but still knows all her family recipes and can make solid nutritious meals

E = Ending (If they had to break up, how would they do it?)

If they broke up, they would have half a conversation about it before feeling too vulnerable and cutting each other off and agonizing over the things left unsaid forever :c

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

The "commitment" part is probably the least of their apprehensions in being together. They ARE commitment to everything they care about, so once they get over themselves and commit to each other, it's a pretty natural progression. Do they care about being "married"? Probably not. Same-sex marriage is definitely not legal in Tevinter until Archon Pavus/Tilani gets their hands on the place, so it may not quite even register as a possibility let alone a priority. I could see them eventually marrying in a hush-hush, intimate ceremony with like 10 friends, but there's no rush and neither would be particularly bothered if they never got around to it

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Neve is far gentler than she'd like to admit. Rana can be a bit clumsy and single-minded, making her sometimes come off gruff/cold, but her heart's in the right place. Their relationship built off tentative contact, both physical and emotional. But they don't mince words - they'll argue, they'll call each other out, they'll push each other around, they'll grab the other to keep her from storming away. Rana is a little more hesitant, but not because she's gentler - she's worried about Neve icing her out if she pushes too hard. So they're a mixed bag. They're gentle, but they don't hold back when the situation calls for a firmer hand (for Neve especially, this would be a colossal turnoff).

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Sure, of course. They're tactile (and not usually chatterboxes), so they touch each other a lot in general as a means of communicating. sorry idk what else to say, describing hugs is boring

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

As much as I want it to be a very long time, it doesn't work with my headcanon timeline. I think it could go two ways - either they get the tortured "If I don't say it now..." moment that Rook/Neve shares before departing for the final battle, or they get basically the blightmance post-credits scene. So by my timeline, there's like max a month between quasi-getting together post-Aelia/forming their gay detective agency and vomiting out their feelings under duress.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Neither of them is really the jealous type - they don't feel possessive of each other, they trust each other, they're too old for any immature "that saleswoman flirted with you why didn't you tell her you have a girlfriend??" crap. Sure a bit of jealousy crops up sometimes - they're passionate women, hearts on their sleeves, oftentimes emotionally stressed by work - , but they take it as a 'me' problem. When Neve feels jealous, it's usually rooted in a self-defeating "well, she'd be better off without me anyway" fallacy which she increasingly knows is bullshit. Rana's more run of the mill jealousy from time to time - Neve's a popular girl, especially post-canon, so it grates on her sometimes to see people fawn over her girl. But she's too pragmatic to date the hottest shit in the world and get mad because other people have eyes, too.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Neve likes a slow, sensual kiss, even if she's not trying to warm up for sex. She allows herself so few indulgences, and that's one. She balances herself out with more chaste kisses on Rana's cheek, forehead, shoulders, knuckles - little affectionate things she'd have felt too skittish to do before. Making out has always been pretty easy because it leads to sex which is also easy; laying a tender butterfly kiss on the bridge of her sweetheart's nose as she falls alseep in her arms is intimate and thus vulnerable which is icky but she's getting better every day! Rana has a bit of the same hesitance, but it's more about her-and-Neve after years of keeping each other at arms' length than it is about intimacy in general. Rana's kisses are very physical, not just regarding her lips but how she holds Neve and touches her while they're kissing: cradling Neve's face in her hands, rubbing her back, squeezing her hands and also her ass. Rana likes to kiss Neve's new scars, her nose and boob freckle, the back of her neck every morning.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Neve's got a soft spot the size of Thedas when it comes to the little ones of Docktown. Of course she'll help find a puppy, of course she'll do whatever she can to make sure an orphan is looked after, of course she keeps little drawings and trinkets that the kids who look up to her give her. Rana is about as good as any adult who doesn't interact with kids much; she's a little awkward and doesn't quite know what they expect from her, but she's kind and tries to make them feel comfortable.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

They often work nights and sleep during the day, so instead of "morning" I mean "the time period after they awaken." They're both get-up-and-go people. They make their own schedule, so there's usually nothing super pressing first thing in their day, but they don't like to linger for too long. They'll have a quick snuggle or maybe a quickie if they're feeling saucy, make breakfast, wash up, and they're out the door if only to take a walk before the craziness sets in.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

They're often working nights so as above, this is more "the time period when they're both home before they go to sleep." After a day of working together, they both like to decompress and spend a little time alone. Neve likes to read or play with the not-theirs cats, or writes to friends. Rana also reads - she picked up Brom's romance serials after they put Aelia away, to her slight embarrassment - and exercise. Sometimes Neve pretends to join her, but she mostly just watches. They try to go to bed together, mostly because their apartment/bed is small and they'd hate to wake the other up, but also to reconnect a little (or a lot).

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

*extremely loud incorrect buzzer* If it weren't for a crisis like the one that unfolds in-game, Neve and Rana would probably never get over themselves and express their feelings. Hell literally froze over before they mustered a "so, what are we" conversation. They've lowkey been each other's 'person' for years; they seek each other out when they need help'; they trust each other more than anyone else. They're a classic slow burn, but shit ramps up so fast and they're both so emotionally constipated that it feels like going from 0-100 to hold hands the first time.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Both pretty patient and thick-skinned. Righteous fury, indignation, feeling insulted, etc - those come much much faster than "anger". They both will get heated on behalf of others long before they get heated on their own egos.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

They're detectives - goes without saying they're locked in on every detail forever. They both also hold grudges. Not against each other (mostly), but they'll beef with other people for eternity.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Neve will never forget when she warned Rana that she'll lose her job for going after Aelia, and Rana not even hesitating to stick by her because it was the right thing to do. Rana failed to show up for her when it counted once before - so the proof that Rana's both grown as a person since (developing her own morals and caring for more than just following the rules) and will stand by her through and through this time means a lot. Even though it opened up a can of worms and became awkward pretty much immediately, Rana's favorite is the memory of waking up together after the first time they slept together. She always knew Neve's coldness was a front, and she had empiric evidence to prove her hypothesis then. It's hard to express herself through words, but she could feel how much Neve needed the touch and it was a bit of a revelation to realize how badly she (Rana) wanted to be that for her.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Both of them are very independent, so they'd bristle and feel smothered by the other being overly "protective", nor would they expect the other to appreciate the same. This goes double for Neve, who profusely rejects anything she perceives as coddling due to her disability (definitely something Rana fucked up early on - she thought she was being courteous, but she was wrong). They'll each throw themselves in front of the other to take a nasty blow, but they're not going crazy over every lump the other takes. It's just the way the cookie crumbles when you do what they do, and they're both pragmatic on top of having faith in the other's capabilities. They'll go to bat for each other any time, for any reason, against any challenge. That's what counts for them both - it's not about feeling "protected", but about feeling safe. And knowing they can rely on each other, seek each other out for help, and share triumphs and failures is what makes them feel safe together.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

It's definitely more about everyday sustained effort for them VS any sort of big gesture. They're both sentimental, so they *like* going on dates and celebrating their anniversaries, but it's not what really makes them both feel loved so they don't put a lot of effort (or money - which is always pretty tight) into them. Everyday tasks like Rana making breakfast and Neve doing the dishes, Neve making the bed even though she doesn't gaf about that because she knows Rana does, Rana grabbing a new bottle when she notices Neve's favorite conditioner is running low, etc - that's their bread and butter. They don't always know what to say to show each other how much they care, but they can always figure out what to do.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Neve can really be her own worst enemy. She's prone to agonizing and suffering in silence, no matter how much she knows she doesn't have to. Eating primarily fried fish is also a bad habit, as is over-working herself, skipping sleep, and not resting enough. Rana can be judgmental and rigid, so she might put her foot in her mouth even when she means well or die on a hill she doesn't need to die on. Like Neve, she'll burn the candle from both ends to get the job done, and let her sense of righteousness lead her unprepared to places she probably should have gone with a gun.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

This is a certified Vain4Vain relationship despite both of them otherwise being pretty down to earth. It's not about Being Beautiful; it's about being highly concerned with the way they're perceived by others. Plus they're Tevene, and public presentation is part of their culture. Neve's appearance is wholly part of her costume and she's very deliberate about maintaining it: her ceaseless tidiness (despite being a disaster woman), her uptown vibe (despite being broke), her intimidating imagery (despite having the softest wettest heart in the world), her disarming beauty (but don't look farther than skin-deep!!). In many ways, Neve's beauty is a means for her to push people away, not to attract them. Rana is all about portraying an image of order and effort; her reputation as a 'clean' Templar is something she's proud of, and so she demonstrates it in her appearance. Her armor is shined, her boots are polished, her braid is perfect with every single hair in place, her spine is straight. That said, they know they're both hot and they don't *hate* it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you each other?)

Absolutely yes, they're pathetic in many ways but not this one.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Misc headcanons include:

Rana was among the small group of Templars who were on the job with Neve when she lost her lower leg, and helped carry her to a healer. Part of why they're awkward about each other as of Tevinter Nights is that they shared this highly sensitive and delicate experience as virtual strangers, probably about 45 minutes after making eye contact for the first time and mutually thinking "she sucks... smash"

They had sex exactly once pre-DAV: after Brom's funeral (grief, not wanting to be alone, also drunk) and never talked about it, so they still feel Conflicted about it months later. This is why they're even weirder about each other in the game than they were in Tevinter Nights.

They don't 'adopt' cats together per se, but they don't stop cats from coming into their apartment and they feed the strays in their alley. They're all named "Wisp"

Rana comes from the type of middling Soporati family that sees themselves as temporarily-embarrassed Altus mages, so they had high hopes of pushing her into an illustrious marriage in hopes of starting the Savas mage line. She ran away and joined the Templars as soon as she came of age. Although the attention embarrasses her, she does lowkey love the possibility that her parents are out there fuming reading the shitty rags and hearing alll about their daughter being the main squeeze of Thee Neve Gallus, notorious shit-strirrer, extremely powerful mage, and Hero of the Veilguard

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Any sort of spinelessness or posturing is a huge turnoff for them both - stand for what you stand for, and mean it, or sit down. Despite recognizing its major issues, they're both proud to be Tevene and Mintrathous natives, so outsiders shit-talking their homeland pisses them both off. In a partner, Neve can't stand someone who's too clingy - she'll feel smothered. She's starved for affection and touch, but there's definitely a too-much that would make her skin crawl, just as there's a too-little that would make her feel vulnerable and rejected. Shelter cat style. Rana also doesn't want to feel tied down, but she's not as sensitive about it. Her biggest turnoff is crassness - excessive swearing, rude language, crass jokes. She's also sensitive to feeling disrespected (she got enough of that every day as a Templar in mage-supremacy Tevinter)- she likes Neve's gentle ribbing, but her boundaries aren't far past that.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Neve routinely passes out in her dirty street clothes and makeup on the top of her covers out of sheer exhaustion. Rana does NOT allow this whenever they crash at her place/when they move in together, partly because she also doesn't let Neve run herself that ragged anymore; sure, they'll both go-go-go until an important case is done, but Rana ensures they rest between cases so they don't get totally rundown. (Rana once had a job and is familiar with the concept of "clocking out" unlike Neve). Rana can't go to sleep unless she puts her clothes away and at least washes her face/brushes her teeth, so she introduces Neve to the concept of a "nighttime routine".

[haylee-bb]

Kalijah Sneak Peek!

These are some excerpts from an upcoming chapter in my Kalijah fic Redamacy! I'm posting this for my greatest source of Kalijah inspiration @umaficwriter since without their edits, I never would've been able to write a halfway decent story for these two.

Link to the fic(pls ignore how bad chapter 3 is😭) https://archiveofourown.org/works/53393533

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katerina crossed her arms with a scowl. “Well I'm so glad that they've finally deemed me worthy of tolerance, but that doesn't mean I'm eager to play house. Honestly, Elijah, did you expect us all to become one big happy family?”

Realistically, no, but as always, he had foolishly, idiotically, hoped that somehow it would all come together in the end and he could have it all. Truly, he was a selfish creature.

Reading the truth in his eyes, Katerina's face softened, and she stepped closer to him again, smoothing the creases in his brow and soothing him with her touch.

Her tone was gentler, but no less honest when she spoke again. “I could deal with Rebekah, but Klaus took everything from me. I won't plot against him, but I'll always hate him. It's not fair of you to ask otherwise.”

Elijah sighed. Of course, she was right, and he knew that. He would never expect so much from her. It was just that he wished so much for better, perfect circumstances, but theirs was a world far from perfect.

He leant his forehead against hers, lightly brushing their noses until she smiled. “I understand, Любов моя. It was never my intention to suggest such a thing. I just don't want to be apart from you.”

“So don't be,” she whispered against his lips, the move so enticing he had to kiss her.

After a moment, he pulled away enough that he could see her. She was still smiling slightly, and it brightened his mood.

“Go with your siblings to New Orleans, take care of your family, and once everything is settled, give me a call. We'll go back to Willoughby, or we can pick somewhere new. Doesn't matter.”

He stared into her eyes, searching them desperately for signs of deceit. “You would wait? While I was gone, you would wait for my return?”

Katerina placed a hand on his face, tenderly stroking his cheekbone. “I love you, Elijah. I'll love you while you're gone, and I'll love you even more if you come back.”

Elijah pulled her into a deep kiss, wrapping an arm around her waist to press her as close as possible and attempting to pour his devotion into her through touch alone. He only separated from a breathless Katerina just enough to speak a promise against her lips.

“I will always come back to you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I made them a promise that I would stand by their side and protect her and the child. Niklaus is playing a dangerous game. One misstep and everything will be lost. I cannot let that happen. They need me.”

Katerina pulled her hand from his grip. “And what about your promise to me? What about us? What about you? What do you want, Elijah?”

His own eyes were tearing up as he looked at her helplessly. “You know I want nothing more than to be with you. I love you.”

She squeezed her eyes closed like she couldn't bear to look at him, her lips, normally so full of color, were pressed so tightly together they were white. He knew she was struggling to maintain her composure, and he could do nothing but watch.

When she opened her eyes, they were resigned. The look on her face was similar to when Kol had said he could no longer help her. It was disappointed acceptance, the heartbreaking stare of someone failed far too often. He was sure nothing alive had ever felt as wretched inside as he did while meeting that stare.

“I know. That's what's so sad, Elijah. You love me, just not enough.”

“I-”

“You are devoted to a fault. You've given yourself entirely to your family, and there's no room for anything else. That's not how I want to be loved. I won't spend forever coming second to Klaus.”

Like always, she unapologetically forced him to stare his greatest flaws in the face, made him study them in great detail until he had a new understanding of some fundamental truth of himself. However, this time, knowing wasn't enough to make a difference. He wanted to say he would change, that he would leave Niklaus to live his life however he chose and put his love for Katerina first the way she deserved, but he couldn't make that promise. He couldn't fully let her go either.

“Forever is a long time, my Katerina. I may not be able to give you what you deserve now, but I still intend to keep my vows. I will come back to you. It may take time, but even though I'm not by your side, I will never leave you.”

Katerina took a deep breath, blinking away gathering tears stubbornly. She linked her hand with his again.

“You do that, and I'll stand by what I said too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His gaze swept over her body, drinking in every detail of her beloved form before settling on her fathomless eyes.

“I don't think I can say goodbye,” he choked out around the swell of despair in his throat.

Her face crumpled, and she breathed a watery sigh before stepping closer to him. She stroked over his brow with soft fingertips, looking at him with so much adoration and heartbreak.

“Close your eyes,” she whispered.

He did what she said without thought and felt the heavenly sensation of her plush lips against his. The kiss was soft, tender, a loving caress, and a promise of more. It lingered like a last kiss but held the hope of a first.

Elijah reached to touch her, wind an arm around her waist, and never let her go, but his hand cut through thin air. He opened his eyes, and she was gone, the press of her against his skin imprinting itself into the familiar places it once called home.

He blinked a tear from his eye, feeling it trail down his cheek as he stared at the empty space she just occupied and reacquainted himself with her ghost.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

I really have a weird and difficult relationship with love. I kind of was taught I need to be enough to receive it, to give it away mostly (people please) and to never ask for it or anything much. To settle with whatever I could get and even be thankful about it. To fly low. I also was taught to not be too much, to not ask as I would be getting a no and that this would have been somehow bad (me not being enough ig), to really do not annoy others or be a bother. And that often I'm a bother and too much. And even bad, so I need to behave well and obey, do not get out of a fixed route that everyone considers perfect and good for me (do I too, honestly?) and make everyone proud of me so that I could feel okay and safe. But part of me always wanted more, never really understood the reasons behind this (yes, playin' it safe... but is it so?). I wanted to be seen, to be acknowledged, to be accepted and loved for the person I am, even wrong, even bad, even difficult. Am I really that difficult anyway? I think the main point is that I wasn't taught about self respect, or I kind of was taught it's something negative, as if it was selfishness (especially boundaries/privacy)... when actually it's far from that. Maybe my caregivers just followed their control/anger issues and narcissism, and kind of unconsciously manipulated me and my need for love to please them and behave properly (so that they could feel enough, safe and okay; judging me while actually judging themselves).

But anyway... despite this need for more, I closed myself off from love. I kept giving it away, doing my best, often failing anyway (when others project their needs on us and how they see themselves on us, they cannot accept anything less than whatever they consider perfect and even then, it may not be enough as it's them not feeling enough anyway). I have tried loving, but it never went well. Being blocked, being a weirdo scared of how I was feeling (not fully being aware of that either) and how I was making others feel, I scared/pushed away many people and others just left cause they couldn't get to give to me the way they wanted to. And at times I couldn't even give properly to them either: I think in order to give, we need to know what we're giving, and also to learn to receive to understand that feeling better. I came to think it was better to love people who didn't know about me, love them in silence and imagine (daydream) a fake me (a better me) and a fake life with them... it was safer: they could never push me away but only love me the way I wanted them to (even toxic love, as I thought that was the good kind of love for me). Not sure this was the reason behind my feelings, but I guess? Anyway there's nothing bad in wanting to be wanted, accepted or loved, at all. But it may be wrong what value we give to that act (or its absence) on us. What we make it mean. If our worth only resides in how much we get and how deserving we feel for others, than that's not good.

But love is something nobody knows much about, they don't teach you about it in school nor at home (unless you have a dog: you can taste unconditional love this way, something you'll always miss in your life after first trying it). Nobody is really ready when it comes to it, we all deal with some demons in our heart anyway. This is why we need to be patient and talk, also with ourselves. It's something you try, learn through the way, make lot of mistakes about, feel weird and unacceptable, unapproachable... and then it's confidence again when you start getting a little back again (but we lose it when the other person gives attentions to other people... jealousy is often a sign of our insecurity and fear of losing someone that we "possess" cause we see in them our only worth and lovability; but why don't we trust them respecting us and choosing us anyway? If they have red flags is it really entirely our fault -us not being enough for them compared with the third person- -and is it really so or just our fear sabotaging us-?). It's too much focused on the outside, on how much we get and how "acceptable" we feel according on whatever social standard we consider we should fit into (we just find flaws in us or in others, if we feel not enough for them), but love should start within, knowing how to love ourselves and what we desire and need, and how to meet those desires and needs. Knowing our worth, knowing how much love and respect we deserve just because we're alive and we have to do nothing impossible to receive it (and that basic respect and kindness have nothing to do with a love interest, very often: we may mistake them as so as we're not used to feel enough and when we do... it must be something very big). Doing what's best for us, accepting only what's really best for us: when we don't, when we only want to be loved (even if what we get is only what we think love is or should be and not what it really is) we just fall into others' traps and play games we may not even want to play to start with (be it in friendships or romatic relationships). And not trying to change others so they meet our standards (the same ones we were taught we need so much to meet to feel lovable enough) or change ourselves to fit their likes (they may be leaving anyway sooner or later, if they are the ones not feeling enough for us). I think love is a meeting of two people working together toward the same goal which is learning and improving, making life less bad and sharing every part of it, every part of them (despite some secrets about our past and stuff we feel bad about are okay to be kept). But it doesn't always work, and that's okay. It only means we weren't the right person for each other. It's not that we're unlovable, especially not at all. We are enough to be loved, even if someone cannot love us the way we would want them to. Someone else will, for sure. Receiving (or saying) a no in a specific situation, of whatever kind it may be, doesn't mean we're gonna get no's forever in every situation because that's what we are enough for or what we deserve (or that we're pretending too much and cannot settle or won't be able to find anyone anymore). Do not make a specific situation something general about your life and/or you.

Move the focus away from those people and remember not everyone thinks the same: being pushed away even more than once by the same type of people (cause we were always searching for love in the people who couldn't give it to us, just because we wanted to prove ourselves we were enough for them -but it's not us the problem...) doesn't mean we cannot change how we look at things (us, love) and start searching for love in the people who can actually see us and love us for who we are. It doesn't mean we're any less, it doesn't mean we're not lovable or that the first people were right. It doens't mean these people loving us are doing it out of pity or because they want something from us. It means they prolly are just the right ones for us. And that maybe we've just learned a little more about us, our worth and how lovely and deserving we are. So we're accepting what we really want and need. And are no more afraid to ask or try, even if things still look deeply scary and we're not really sure of how they'll turn out to be. But we know we have ourselves by our side, and we can survive anything. And being vulnerable is okay: if someone takes advantage of us it's not our fault, not us being naive, it's them not being correct or respectful of another human being. It's not about love or our worth. If we give trust, we're not responsible of what others do with that trust. Love needs vulnerability, needs openness to possible pain. Asks us to not cage ourselves: only this way we can really experience it fully and for real. And find what it is and should be for us (everyone of us has their own definition of love, their own needs and all, and that's fine! Find people who share yours, or that can understand them and meet them through proper compromise with you. Communication is always the key in relationships). And please, find people who supports you and your dreams, and don't block you at every given chance just because (prolly) they want to be the best among you two or because they fear losing you (and try to make you believe you cannot make it). You deserve to try, to ask and fly high always.

[haleigh-sloth]

Okay, cool! I wanted to make it was okay before I sent you any questions regarding the new chapter.

After this week's chapter, how are you feeling with the new circumstances? Do you think the new crying character is Tenko?

At the very end, we see Endeavor in front of the glass window with presumably Touya inside. It's good to see that Endeavor is keeping his promise of watching Touya.

I feel like Touya is at a safe point in the story, I can't imagine him dying. I am sure Touya is here to stay.

Regarding pretty much all the other villains, I'm 0% worried about them. Honestly. Even with the shell shock of what's going on with Tenko right now, I'm still just not worried. At all.

Tenko---I 100% HOPE it's him. I am also fairly convinced it's him. The only reason I cannot fully commit is just because of my trust issues right now, that's it.

But honestly, IF Hori was going to bring him back, this would be the best way to do it imo.

I think the fact that Deku was feeling depressed about the outcome with Tenko means that he'll do something to rectify that. Tenko wandering the streets right now? Alone? History repeating itself? It's almost too perfect of a set up for Deku to find him (instead of someone demented like AFO) and help him. That would not only be a solid showing of how Deku intends to stop history from repeating itself, but also fix the fact that he's unhappy with how things turned out before (I will wait to say my complaints about his characterization being dead in the water until the very end, though I am not super convinced Hori can redeem himself on THAT front). It would put the main character on par with the other two kids who saved their villains without killing them.

For reasons related to Tenko--I think this thread gives the best rationale as to why it would be/could be/should be Tenko. I do think the elephant in the room was "what the fuck is he gonna do about his physical body that's fucked all kinds of up from the inside out". We all sat with the potential for rewind to come into play. Right now, it's really looking like Kurogiri had some role in saving parts of Tomura's physical body at the last second and the other half of decay (which was very intentionally revealed right before he was punched to dust) putting him back together. And honestly, ik people are arguing that "the nose and eye shape are different!" and honestly who fucking cares. IF this character is in fact Tenko, it DOES make sense that he'd look different. The four bloody fingers, the covering of his mouth, the tears, the black shaggy hair, (the skinny bony ankles lmao), it just feels a little too on the nose to not be Tenko? I am convinced, but just with caution.

Then there's the whole "turn a minus into a 0" with Mirio, looking back at the chapter title "the story of how we all became heroes part minus 1". It's just...yeah idk. It all feels a little too perfect to just throw away.

Then there's the lack of closure and follow up on Spinner from the war, and we don't know if Deku delivered the eerie message (implying that Tomura still views Tomura as separate from who he is at his core because Tomura wanted to destroy until the very end). There's Kurogiri's last (possibly last? not sold on his death either but less invested in his return) words about how his friends are waiting for him, that also received no follow up. I don't believe Hori put those things in there to just move on and pretend they never happened. Tomura also said the villains need a hero of their own, which yes, but they also needed heroes who weren't gonna destroy things they cared about. And he needs to be around to see that none of them really want or need total destruction. It's just very unfinished.

Over all, I (and many others) have felt so weird about the last few chapters. They have felt so disconnected from the rest of the manga and from everything Horikoshi has written in the past and even in this manga. I'm kind of just settled on the very very likely and real possibility that Hori is doing this on purpose so he can get one last good GASP out of all of us and laugh maniacally about it from his stupid little manga studio. Fuck that guy. Respectfully.

That being said, if things don't go this way, I'm prepared. But I'll continue to hope for the best.

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

✧ ━━ 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙳 𝙱𝚈 𝙳𝙰𝚈𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴

Tagged by: @witches-and-weirdos (thank you!) Tagging: @bells-of-black-sunday (for Aita?), @agonizedembrace, @pitgritted, @manufactoredxbyxdesign, @coolrpblog, @leadxxr, @mxlevolence, @deathfxnds , @deathdxnces, @sanguisstella, @kalijhomentethi @steel-and-fire, @chaotick-musings, @thegoldentigress, @aquatic-hybrid, @dethdvncer, @risingshine, @seekslight, @yanlei

name: Robin A. Baudelaire

nickname: Birdie, Little Bird

gender: Cisgender Male

romantic orientation: Biromantic (closeted - male leaning)

preferred pet names: Darling, Love, Beloved

relationship status: Single

opinion on true love:

"Mortals cling to the idea of such fortunes, don't they? Two people destined for one another, capable of a never ending love that transcends all. It is quite a dazzling prospect, is it not? How many countless tales have been woven in its name? How much blood has been spilled for it?" Robin scoffs, a bitter twist to his lips as he recalls the image of Knight and his Pretty Bride, of their perfect union. A sinking feeling settles in his stomach; heavy and suffocating. He keeps his eyes facing ahead, focusing. "Love. The word itself reeks of mockery. In this cruel world, true, heartfelt love is nothing more an illusion, a weakness that people use to manipulate the pitiful. A lie concocted for fools who lack the wit to see reality for what it is: a harsh, unforgiving joke." His fingers curl into the loose lock of white hair framing his face like delicate tendrils of moonlight, "A myth. A story to sell books and make women swoon. A man would be a damned fool to waste his time chasing after it."

opinion on love at first sight:

"Love at first sight… More stupidity. Ha! Lust at first sight, certainly. The human heart is weak, emotional - primal. It can never make a decision like love that hastily; poisoning oneself takes time, after all."

how ‘romantic’ are they?:

━━ Just ignore ol mister soggy socks up there - he's just a bitter little thing. It takes a lot to keep his attention and curiosity, let alone for him to actually fall in love; it will take a lot of interaction and chemistry to work. I'm sure in some ... messed up, toxic way he is romantic; romantic cannibalism and obsession. Maybe once his story progresses and if he becomes less ... that - then perhaps more standard forms of romance would apply. Even then I cannot see a world where a romantic, or any type frankly, relationship with him would be strictly healthy?

ideal physical traits: ━━ Robin experiences basically non-existent levels of lust in Dead by Daylight, he cares very little for the physical and much more for the internal workings of a person. Even in life he was never tempted by the hot sin of desire; bodies are flesh and bone, but what makes a person tick? That is a measure of their soul. Maybe a nice voice - mostly because there's going to be a lot of conversation and I can't imagine him wanting to listen to a voice that grinds his ears. Maybe????

ideal personality traits: ━━ That being said there's plenty of these that are reaaallly important to him in regards to every interaction he has. Robin at his core is a dark empath who uses his understandings of people to manipulate and puppet them. He cares very little for people who let him do this, or who don't even realize its happening; so when someone plays against this his interest is immediately drawn. Keeping it requires pragmatism, sadism, being intellectual and being able to keep up with him in conversation and debate. Robin likes a high level of self confidence in the people he speaks to, as to match his own - catching him off guard or matching his wit will absolutely delight him. Robin is a monster who finds enjoyment amongst his own kind. Perhaps he falls in love with a darkness that he recognizes in himself; a place where the worst parts of him can find a home. Man, maybe he is romantic!

unattractive physical traits: ━━ Less so a trait and more so a habit but bad hygiene. Despite his carnage, Robin remains immaculate - he's well groomed, clean, and he does not smell. As I said prior, Robin's focus on the physical is so minimal that I can't even think of anything he'd be physically unattracted to because it matters that little to him.

unattractive personality traits: ━━ Ok now I can talk. There are quite a few personality traits that Robin hates, particularly in this verse. Stupidity, forgetfulness, being pretentious, lacking tact, childishness, being loud. He finds naivety and innocence to be pathetic, something to snuff out. Robin reaaallly has trouble trying to interact with anyone he thinks of as unintelligent; there are very few exceptions to this rule, but they would never be considered attractive to him. He's also incredibly pragmatic, so any sort of idealistic lunacy borders on the imbecilic to him. Being a ruffian, or a brute too.

ideal date: ━━ I think dates are pretty much ... constant when with him. He doesn't find romance in outings or decorative flair or anything like that - its just what's coming out of the person's mouth and the exchange between them. It's also practically impossible to have dates in the Fog I'd think - but then again a nice joint slaughter is always fun. Literally any interaction is quality time to him since it's all that matters to him. Although I imagine he would, at some point, love to see the ocean since he's never seen it before. But that's a pipe dream in the Fog. Plus, the pragmatism thing, there isn't really time for a fancy outing - it's a waste of time better spent else where rather than preening.

do they have a type?: ━━ See "ideal personality traits" because I accidentally went overboard and explained it all up there.

average relationship length: ━━ With the intensity and depth of his genuine relationships, I imagine its an all or nothing sort of thing. Anyone who is with him will see the most vulnerable parts of him, bold of you to assume he would ever let them go.

preferred non-sexual intimacy: ━━ Yes. Ok but seriously, like I said before Robin cares so little about physical things already that sexual intimacy is pretty much off the damn table and in the trash. That being said physical intimacy lends itself to strengthen emotional bonding; emotional intimacy is the bed and support and physical intimacy is the blankets. That sort of thing. The bed by itself is fine, its comfortable and easy to rest in, but blankets are never unwelcome. Granted its something he'd have to get used to since he never had any lovers in life, and with his role in his Church - had very little physical contact in general. He's so physically starved that he's sensitive, but overtime it'll be fine.

"What is this?" "Affection." "Disgusting................. Do it again."

opinion of public affection: ━━ Robin is a reserved person, and he often won't partake in PDA. Not because its "sinful" or because he didn't grow up seeing it everywhere within his small village - but because of his own need for privacy. Anything touchy or any vulnerable will take place in privacy, or well - given the thread he's currently in - dire moments of possible death, public or private. He does, however, like playful banter regardless of who's watching or where he is.

past relationships?: ━━ None. He had no lovers in life/before the Fog.

[whimsicallyserene]

Would you love someone that loves you-?

Could you start to do so? Are you willing to do so?

It's a question i ask myself a lot, usually coming back to it from time and interaction.

I sometimes think if being loved or loving someone is enough. Cause for some maybe that's all they'd desire, they'd develop the same for the other person & live their lives knowing there is someone who might not be the best of the bunch but is perfect for what is known to the definition of "love".

But for a lot of people that wouldn't be the case.

They'd want to be loved by someone THEY love. They wouldn't want to develop the feelings for someone, rather, they would want to fall for it at an instant.

✨ A third person perspective :

Isn't love practically based on how successful one is.

People date people who not only suit their interests but also other things. That they are academically great and have successful lives & ofcourse looking good is staple.

It's a vague view but it's still a true one.

Sure success depends on someones perspective but in a general trend that's what it is.

A'ight back at it again :

And besides the material factors also lies the desire to be loved by someone you'd want too & not by someone that loves them.

(Funny though how that sounds exactly same & might not make any sense at all but it infact does.)

And i get it that it's not necessary to like someone just because they love you or care for you. But this just adds up to the non-material-factors while choosing a date.

It gives off the "why settle for less" notion at the very least.

And a lot of times it's not even this, they just couldn't love someone back but they don't have any reasoning for it. It's how they feel. They simply aren't able too reciprocate similar feelings.

This hurts much more than any other thing, cause you do feel for the other, you know how they feel about you. And even knowing all this.

You aren't able to love them.

You cannot FORCE love afterall 🎀

I mean 🪻

When you see yourself not being good enough in front of so many people based on different things, you can't bother to care & gather any courage to think that you could get love.

No matter how much you are willing to sacrifice for the person, no matter how much you care & cherish them. That just might not be the factor for them to start liking you.

It's like an inferior feeling towards oneself thinking that one couldn't love someone specific knowing they could never touch the heights the other lives & expects someone to be in.

Gives off the "maybe I'm not good enough vibes."

Not flattering enough, not someone-someone would prefer.

I believe that there are people with the sheer absence of love trying to find it in people they think would be based on their outlook.

That's where they suffer the most.

✨ My perspective :

So it is true that you cannot love this way?

( It's not! )

( And then on top of that is the conditional approach of not accepting the fact that YOU COULD possibly start to love someone that loves you.)

So i suppose, Love isn't just based on love? ✨✍🏼

" If only someone looking for someone with the eyes of only warmth could find me, i would call that love" - Peak-A-Pooh ;)

[my-strange-attraction]

genuine question, why do you support bi lesbianism? bisexual/pan seems to have it fully covered meaning-wise, and it is kinda reductive to go and try to include men in lesbianism after it was established in the 70s and during the aids crisis. i’m just curious about your ideology behind it.

This doesn't seem in bad faith like a lot of the others so I will go ahead and answer it here, because even though I've explained it already, those posts were long and included a lot of other stuff, so it would be good to have a post dedicated to it. It won't be concise, because I'm wordy, and I apologize in advance for that.

First, I want to start off by saying I am always a proponent of using whatever label makes you feel most comfortable so long as it's not harming anyone else. As much as some of the people who hate me for this opinion want to think that bi lesbianism harms lesbians by saying men have to be included in their label, it's just not true. This is the same argument exclusionists make against the bi label. Just because it can include men for some people doesn't mean that it has to include men for all people.

I also support the label because I think that obviously there is a need/ demand for it despite the fact that bisexuality could in theory include everyone who uses this label. It makes people comfortable, it gives them joy in describing themselves in the fullest/ most authentic way possible. As fellow queer people, why should we shoot down queer joy just because it confuses us or isn't our exact lived experience?

Also, as someone who is personally going through the bi/lesbian is it this one or that one deal right now, I can understand why people may want to use it. I think I'm attracted to both, but I cannot see myself actually being with a man, because I'm just not comfortable around them (I keep making the joke to my friends—I just don't think we have anything in common! I know I could probably very easily be friends with men, but I just never really have and I've never gravitated towards them, so even talking to guys is somewhat of a foreign concept to me).

I use the lesbian label because personally I've tried out microlabels in the past and they're just not for me—as a former aspec-identifying person, I now prefer to have labels I don't have to explain to everyone I meet—but I can see another version of myself who really identifies with this label. And I think this is true with a lot more sapphics than we think, because sexuality is so fluid and confusing at times, and sometimes its easier to settle on a slightly uncomfortable label than to think about it more or go seeking out the "perfect" label for yourself.

I supported mspec lesbians before I even knew I had attraction at all, so this is less of an important point, but it is something that has come to light as I've had this discussion in the past few weeks as someone who now recognizes their own attraction.

Tldr: I support bi lesbians because they don't cause harm, and because I support queer joy in general. It's why I call myself a label anarchist—I just think we shouldn't be upset with people for using whatever the fuck words they want to to describe THEMSELVES!!