#I will literally never get over Boromir going oh hey you dropped this lol

[heavymetalchemist]

Okay so here's the thing about me and LOTR. I love LOTR, because I read it as a kid. My dad had these old copies from the 70's with ancient art on the covers and I read them when I was like eight years old. It took me time to really like it - I read The Hobbit first, which is much more child-oriented, and I had trouble getting into LOTR because the whole birthday party thing came across as kind of boring to me. I was young and usually if a book didn't hook me right away I gave up.

But I did persist and I was drawn in and there was so much I loved. I loved the conspiracy that Merry, Pippin, and Sam made, how much they had managed to put together about the Ring and Frodo and Bilbo, how they were ready to leave at a moment's notice if Frodo tried to take off without them. How Gandalf had to do research, so much research, because how could Bilbo have found The One Ring, that had been missing for so long? Ludicrous, surely! I loved the way the world felt ancient, that there was the Old Forest with semisentient trees, the relationship with the land, the way the Shire was insulated from the politics of the rest of the world, the old bones of vanished kingdoms.

And I could go on but basically, This Vibe means that I just don't like the Peter Jackson movies. And there's a lot that's good in them! The cast is amazing and the visuals are stunning and yet... it just frustrates me! I don't like the comedic relief of Sam just, like, what, forgetting he got a sword in the mines of Moria so he can hilariously hit an orc with his beloved precious frying pan? Like, it's that kind of thing. That's the level of my irritation. I see something and it breaks my suspension of disbelief. You're telling me that in this universe Boromir literally holds the One Ring in his hand and is like "oh hahaha oops sorry Frodo you dropped this" like WHAT? The ONLY people that have EVER given up the One Ring willingly are Bilbo and Sam! They are the only ones! Even Frodo couldn't do it in the end!

But! But. Dan Olson just made a video about Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings (which I have seen and also remember telling people about and then being told there was no animated adaptation? I guess that's how obscure it became) and it actually really pinned down what I think my main problem is.

Lord of the Rings is slow. It gives time and space to small character interactions. It sinks into the lore and explanations and the ways people feel. It gives character to the world to make it feel full and complex and ancient. There are long lulls in the story where the characters are traveling and suffering and while there is humor it's not really that, like, punchy?

And Ralph Bakshi really leaned into that. And Peter Jackson didn't. And I have realized that the reason I have such an issue with the PJ version is because he made it into an action adventure, and to me, from the feel of the original books, I want it to be a weird meandering 70's era thing that gives space for these characters kind of wandering around in the woods just trying to do their best.

Although full disclosure: I own the Rankin Bass Return of the King on DVD, "Where There's a Whip There's a Way" is 1000% a banger, and I won't apologize for liking it. And again - it's the vibe. I like it because the vibe is right.

I am writing this post because I got a lil into it in some tags and it's my tumblr I do what I want. I remain frustrated with how good the cast and visuals and sets and everything were in the PJ movies, and then they make the mines of Moria look so stupid and have spider-orcs coming out of the ceiling. It kills me! But now I realize I simply do not vibe with the blockbuster-movie adaptation that requires things to be more punchy. It's the same thing as the original Star Wars trilogy (made in the 70s) compared to the newer stuff. It's the vibe, it's the pacing, it's how everything has to pop-pop-pop.

PJ's Minas Morgul looks like it's made from green styrofoam and that's a mistake you can't change my mind.