#I will eat everything dragon age up when offered. I may complain the whole time but Ill eat anyway. and somehow find enjoyment out of it
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It's really interesting to me how varied the reviews on veilguard are - I've seen so many people praise it, talking about how amazing it is. Both new and old fans - but just as many people saying how terrible it is and filing for a refund after 2-3 hours.
I fall somewhere in the middle of that rn, I'm nowhere near the end of the game and have been disappointed by a massive pile of things in it - but also see some good in it still. I love the characters above all, even with some really, really painfully awkward and badly written dialogue. If all of the dialogue was that I would've probably dropped the game, thankfully there's both good and bad dialogue. Some of it works, while some absolutely does not.
Above all to me it truly does feel like a dragon age game bc I have to overlook a pile of jank to find the enjoyable bits LMAO, that for me has been the experience with all of the games
#idk man. Im still enjoying it despite it all#but then again Im actively fighting to get the utmost enjoyment out of it. Youll have to pry dragon age from my dead stiff hands#I will eat everything dragon age up when offered. I may complain the whole time but Ill eat anyway. and somehow find enjoyment out of it#veilguard livejournal#I had a text post tag but I forgot#Im going to save like. a bigger review for once Im done with it#bc I cannot really fully review the writing etc if Im in the smack dab middle of the story and character arcs#is anyone even reading these I have no idea nor do I care I just have to put my thoughts somewhere#dragon age#dav
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A Year in Reading: 2019 - Blue
So real life kind of kicked our asses in 2019 and we weren’t able to keep up with the monthly Mods’ Reads posts. We’ve gotten some questions about them and we still intend to keep them a thing, hopefully, in 2020. But for now, this will have to do. Below the cut is everything I’ve read in the past year:
(It’s a long list and I may have missed some things we try and warn for, so make sure to check tags and warnings on any fics that catch your eye <3)
January
Slainte mhaith by Speranza (oneshot | 1,180 | M)
Under the Bridges of Fame by alby_mangroves, notlucy (complete | 89,678 | E)
For better or for worse (usually worse), Steve Rogers has been the most famous guy in the room for a while. And though newsreels have given way to YouTube, people’s reactions haven’t changed much in seventy-some years. Steve’s become an expert at keeping his head down and getting on with his life.
A head-on collision on a busy street sends books flying and sweeps Steve off his feet. The point of impact has a name: James. A charming mess of long hair, thick glasses, and a crooked, not-quite-smile. If he recognizes Steve, he chooses not to comment, placing him firmly in Steve’s good graces.
As far as Steve can tell, they might be Bogie and Bacall all over again, save for the group of idiots with selfie sticks who surround them. But for once, the request isn’t for Steve.
Which begs the question: if James is James, then who the hell is Bucky?
So, You’ve Adopted a Fruit by Nejinee (complete | 17,769 | E)
Steve knows that Bucky’s trying his best to stay whole in this new modern world. Then Bucky finds a struggling little scraggly creature and decides immediately to wrap it up in his open heart and take it home. It’s a bit bizarre seeing a former assassin taking to something so small and helpless, but to Steve it all makes sense.
Part 1 of 2 lovestruck idiots and a dog
Sandy Cheeks by Nejinee (oneshot | 4,227 | T)
A day at the beach with Steve, Bucky and Blueberry.
Part 2 of 2 lovestruck idiots and a dog
The Job Between Here and There by Pohadka (series, ongoing | 182,404 | M)
He might be free from HYDRA’s command and making his own life now, but James Buchanan Barnes is far more lost than he’d ever been before. Nothing matches the vague memories he’s recovered so far, and the world has progressed far beyond needing soldiers. To find out what he wants, and how to get it, he just needs a little… Leverage.
all systems snot by galwednesday, silentwalrus, skellerbvvt (oneshot | 2,962 | T)
They don’t let you suck dick in quarantine.
A Hatemance For The Ages by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (series, ongoing, restricted | 28,750 | E)
This is what happens when you find your soulmate… and instead of birds singing and roses blooming, you discover they’re an insufferable jerk. But an insufferable jerk that you low-key really want to bang, if nothing else because MAYBE THEN THEY WOULD SHUT UP.
Features the worst, most annoying iterations of Cap!Steve and Modern!Bucky. There is nothing these two wouldn’t do for each other… out of spite.
[A series of occasional short fics that I write when I just want snark and hate sex]
The Department of Special Collections by alby_mangroves, Speranza (oneshot | 4,867 | T)
It was a messy thing of leather and papers and rope. It looked like Phillips had carelessly thrown a bunch of documents onto an old piece of black leather and then rolled the whole thing up and tied it … The papers inside were all different sizes, everything out of order and haphazardly stacked, like someone had been in a hurry and just grabbed it all.
love is blind (steve and bucky are just dumb) by talkplaylove, wearing_tearing (oneshot | 4,409 | T)
“You shouldn’t have interrupted their date, then,” Natasha pipes up, finally showing her face as she gives Bucky a wave and a tiny smile. “I like the hair.”
“Thank you.” Bucky preens a little. He ignores the teasing about this being a date; Nat and Sam somehow got it into their heads that Steve and him were dating via Skype calls. They’re not. They’re just friends who video call sometimes. Friends do that.
Part 3 of Happy Steve Bingo
Part 1 of men with no plans
i love him and our goat children by talkplaylove, wearing_tearing (oneshot | 5,526 | T)
“Bucky, why does Sam have a photo of you surrounded by goats and the words “Always be happy with Jesus” on it?” Steve asks, looking at him on the screen.
Or the one where Steve and Bucky move in together, adopt some goat kids, and live happily ever after.
Part 2 of men with no plans
Part 4 of Happy Steve Bingo
February
Treasured by Dira Sudis (dsudis), Sealcat (complete | 24,609 | M)
When everyone in town became convinced that a dragon really had come again to the Old Lair, and that the town would have to offer it tribute, they all looked at Steve.
Honestly, he was relieved.
The Joy of Little Things by obsessivereader, Sealcat (complete | 29,744 | E)
"Do you want me to eat you?"
“No, but—” Steve broke off his instinctive response. All his life, he’d believed in doing what was right… he was not about to stop now. Wincing at the prickling pain in his feet, he straightened up to his full height. “Yes. If it means you’ll leave this place.”
"But you don’t look very filling." The tip of the dragon’s tail twitched. "I don’t suppose you’re a virgin?" he asked hopefully. "I’ve heard they taste better."
Steve gritted his teeth and refused to answer. The dragon could very well find that out for himself. He stared at the dragon. The dragon stared back. Then the dragon got up, turned around, and went back into his cave.
"Well? Come on, tribute."
or, how Steve ends up working for a dragon with a very odd sense of humor
It's A Funny Story... by perfect_plan (oneshot | 6,009 | M)
Bucky just had the most mind-blowing sex of his life with a handsome stranger and nothing can ruin his day. That is until he goes out to breakfast with his room mate to meet Sam's best friend who just moved to town.
total eclipse of the bark by Deisderium (oneshot | 2,627 | T)
Steve's first day at the flower shop, he walks into the break room to find an extremely large and muscular man having a breakdown because his dog is sick. Only an asshole wouldn't try to comfort that large and muscular man.
Karma's A Fake Orgasm by gracie137 (complete | 51,653 | E)
There’s another abandoned mug, festering with mould in the living room — Steve offically has the world's worst roommates. And complains about them. Often. Bucky, tired of his lack of action, decides it’s time to avenge Steve's sleepless nights and unsanitary conditions once and for all. They’ll pretend to be the world’s most annoying couple: excessive PDA, loud fake sex, and general repugnance. The plan sounds easy enough; it will be strictly platonic. Or will it?
Part 1 of Revenge Is Best Served Horny
A minor misunderstanding, solidarity, and reunion by owlet (oneshot | 2,456 | T)
Barnes should know better. Lidia should charge her phone.
Part 8 of Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail
Licence To Thrill by roe87 (oneshot | 4,153 | M)
James is a Russian spy, ordered to take down American agent Steve Rogers.
Steve is an American agent, ordered to take down Russian spy James.
But when they first meet, things take a different turn.
(Or, a spies meet cute)
You Can't Take the Sky from Me by LeisurelyPanda (oneshot | 6,259 | M)
Captain Bucky Barnes and his crew were flagged by an Alliance ship after innocently minding their own business during an illegal salvage operation. It's not Bucky's first scrape with the oppressive, bureaucratic Alliance military, and it won't be the last. However, most Alliance vessels don't send someone so... adorably susceptible to Bucky's charms to interrogate him.
Steve was conscripted into the Alliance at a young age. He's been around long enough to know that it's not what everyone said it was when he was conscripted. A dashing rogue in his interrogation room, however, offers what might be his only chance at escaping this life.
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year by stevergrsno (noxlunate) (oneshot | 5,186 | E)
“You should come over for a drink.” Christmas Stealing Hot Neighbor says instead of answering Steve’s very valid question.
“I really don’t think I should. Sounds like fraternizing with the enemy.” Steve says, even as he’s abandoning his tree and moving towards the gate.
“Look at is as a know thy enemy thing instead,” Christmas Stealing Hot Neighbor says before flashing Steve a smile and oh, oh no, Steve is screwed.
Aka Steve Rogers is competitive, Bucky Barnes is into his hot new neighbor, and Christmas Feelings ensue.
The New Super by gr8escap (oneshot | 3,001 | T)
Steve Rogers is trying to get comfortable in his almost affordable apartment and the New Superintendent of the building is a cruel distraction.
Part 6 of Happy Steve Rogers - [Bingo]
10-94* by gravesecret, softcorehippos (complete | 38,817 | E) *graphic violence
Late at night, when the city sleeps, they race.
Bucky Barnes owns a garage and race for pinks, Steve Rogers is an FBI Agent with a lot of people to prove wrong.
Destiny Knows Better by Polska_1999 (oneshot | 4,251 | T)
When Steve woke up after the ice with a new soulmark, and one that offended him no less, he made it his personal promise to hate the person that the universe chose to replace Bucky. Shame that the universe didn’t quite get the memo.
Part 9 of Sprint Towards Blackout (Happy Steve Bingo 2018)
Sergeant Hot Pants by cleo4u2 (oneshot | 11,798 | E)
When Sergeant Bucky Barnes is assigned to temporarily take over for Maria Hill, Steve can't quite keep his shit together. Not around Bucky, who is the hottest Alpha Steve's ever seen.
Lessons Are So Cold by herecomesbucktofuckshitup (complete | 57,575 | E)
Steve knows that he's small. He knows that someone has to go undercover at the local high school, and he knows that he was the right person for the job. He just wishes he wasn't. And Steve really really wishes that the cute boy he'd hooked up with the night before his mission hadn't turned out to one of his teachers.
Patience by cleo4u2 (oneshot | 5,073 | M)
You should never Google yourself. Steve knows that, he's been out of the ice for over a year, but he just can't help himself. After finding a gorgeous, sexy brunette thirst tweeting about calling him Daddy, he can't help himself from responding, either.
We Are The Lucky Ones by blithelybonny (oneshot | 28,563 | E)
The Soldiers will be drift compatible -- of that, there is no question. They were bred for perfect synchronicity; two halves of one whole, one mind in two perfect bodies.
But they cannot be allowed to remember. The drift may be catastrophic.
Seashore by Speranza (oneshot | 505 | not rated)
No Kind of Life by Speranza (oneshot | 1,995 | not rated)
"You know I have to do everything the hard way, Buck. It’s the fundamental fact of my nature.”
The Gentleness That Comes* by doctormccoy (oneshot | 8,566 | M) *sex work
Steve Rogers never really views the things he had to do to get by before the War with any sort of shame or embarrassment. People ask him for his opinions on modern issues in interviews, but Steve has gotten good at talking around those types of questions. Fury insists that there's no way to answer them without casting a shadow of controversy across the reputation of the Avengers, and that's the last thing Steve wants.
But then a sex tape is released featuring Tony Stark in bed with another man, and Steve can't stay quiet any longer.
Expressive Force by Avaaricious (oneshot | 3,795 | T)
AKA the "You punched me in the face while gesticulating wildly to a friend" AU
Part 1 of Meet-Ugly
Bite Your Tongue by Avaaricious (complete | 34,193 | T)
AKA the "I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold a shirt and then leave it one more time I'm going to stuff it down your throat" AU
Part 2 of Meet-Ugly
March
Misdemeanor by Avaaricious (complete | 9,140 | G)
Based off this tumblr post by peterssquill:
Some cop, unlucky enough to pull over Captain America of all people: Sir um could I see ur... uh... license?
Steve Rogers someone who never bothered to get one: ....no
Part 6 of Meet-Ugly
P.O.W. by Avaaricious (oneshot | 20,420 | T)
AKA the "You're strapped to a table in a lab and I've come to rescue you, but you think you're hallucinating and kiss me" AU
Part 5 of Meet-Ugly
Part 1 of Fixed Points
The New Super by gr8escap (oneshot | 3,001 | T)
Steve Rogers is trying to get comfortable in his almost affordable apartment and the New Superintendent of the building is a cruel distraction.
Part 6 of Happy Steve Rogers - [Bingo]
Seashore by Speranza (oneshot | 505 | not rated)
Fan the Flame by Avaaricious (WIP | 253,880 | M)
AKA the "I thought you were a dude-bro and meant to swipe left on Tinder but I slipped. We matched and now I'm stuck talking to you" AU
Part 4 of Meet-Ugly
Heckin' Chunker for Love by canistakahari (oneshot | 2,708 | T)
On the inside of the big floor to ceiling window of the office across the street, someone has used Post-it Notes to spell out a message:
W H A T I S Y O U R C A T ’ S N A M E ?
Like Playing With Fire by GoldBlooded, LeisurelyPanda, wilfling (complete | 33,567 | E)
James is heir to his family's business, brought over from Mother Russia by his great-grandfather in 1917. In 1918, an Irish organization also moved to Brooklyn, a little too close for comfort. They've been rivals for over a hundred years, and it can get pretty stressful. Sometimes James needs to blow off some steam, and if a handsome stranger named Grant wants to do the same, James certainly isn’t going to say no.
Steve, heir to the Irish family, has never met James Barnes. But they all know that he's an arrogant, dangerous enemy without honor, as evidenced by the way the Russians are crossing lines again. On the way to a 'meeting' between the two families, Steve doesn't spare his counterpart a single thought... because his head is swimming with a man named Bucky and the earth-shattering night they've just spent together.
How will Steve and James cope when they find out they're sworn blood enemies? What happens when the 'meeting' is sabotaged by an unknown third party? Will the Irish and Russians be able to look past ancient, ingrained hurts for the sake of survival? More importantly, will Steve and James be able to ignore the ever-growing attraction between them?
I’m a Sucker for a Wild Boy by jinlinli (complete | 9,897 | T)
Steve is a vampire who’s never met a werewolf in his life before. Bucky is a werewolf who doesn’t even know vampires exist. Naturally, neck biting means two very different things to them.
In which Steve goes for a midnight snack and accidentally gets himself werewolf married.
The Very Heart of It* by merryofsoul (restricted, oneshot | 17,743 | M) *graphic violence
In which Captain America adopts a dog from Bucky and they become friends — and then more.
A Piece of Silly Affection by Reccea (restricted, oneshot | 11,687 | E)
Steve looked good, He looked hale and hearty and uninjured in his leather jacket, too-tight shirt, and jeans. He got off the motorcycle and his movements were graceful and fluid - no obvious signs of injury. He took off his helmet and --
Oh.
Steve had a beard.
Bucky’s mechanical hand spasmed oddly.
Life of the Party by AggressiveWhenStartled (complete | 21,689 | E)
“You know, kids,” Steve heard from the backyard, “one of the most common threats a superhero has to face is inside an active volcano! We’re going to have to work on your evasion skills, so for the next five minutes, the floor is lava!” This was met by a sudden spike in both volume and pitch from the small children as they scrambled onto every raised surface they could find and immediately launched themselves right back off.
“I’ve never seen actual lava in my entire life,” Steve said, vaguely offended.
“You got a superhero impersonator for The Falcon’s niece’s birthday party,” Sam said, incredulous. “The Falcon, who is an actual superhero.”
#TweetMeDaddy by StarSpangled (Senforza) (oneshot | 4,127 | T)
Coulson, for his part, stares up at Bucky with such a betrayed look of frozen horror that Natasha actually goes the extra step and presses another button, capturing the moment and airdropping the photograph to her phone for posterity. When he speaks, his voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. “Why…?” He swallows and starts again, trying for some semblance of normality. “...Why would you tweet something like that?!”
“If you must know, sir,” and somehow he manages to make ‘sir’ come out with the same inflection most people reserve for ‘motherfucking son of a bitch’, “it’s because I have a difficult time doing my job when my job involves monitoring the man with the best fucking ass in the United States of America.” He slowly lowers himself back into his seat until he’s at eye level, making extreme eye contact with Coulson until Coulson turns away to make mortified eye contact in Natasha’s general direction through the one-way glass. Natasha would take another picture, if she weren’t too busy catching Steve’s red-faced sputtering. “Sometimes, I vent to my Twitter followers. Sometimes, it’s about hot men with washboard abs. Can I go now, or do you need a graphic description of how I pleasure myself at night?”
Bad Moon Rising by spacebuck (complete | 57,533 | E)
Bucky Barnes is a lot of things:
- a nurse - the owner of a dorky dog that's too big for his own good - a lot older than he looks (by a lot more than you’d guess) - one of the last born-werewolves of his generation (namely due to point number one)
He's also one of the most powerful werewolves in New York City, not that he uses that power for more than keeping up with his work and playing with his dog.
But, when the once-in-two-hundred-years lunar event known to wolves as the Triple Moon comes along, Bucky's more than a little peeved to get to Central Park to find cloud cover blocking the majority of the power the moon is supposed to be giving him.
And then he finds an unconscious man in a clearing.
He doesn't connect the two, though in retrospect he should have - witches are sneakier than they appear.
much tattoo about nothing by Deisderium (oneshot | 14,579 | E)
Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.
Turns out tattoos give Steve boners.
April
My Arms Were Made To Hold You by portraitofemmy, rainbow_marbles (oneshot | 55,101 | E)
Tired of being kept awake at night by a screaming baby, Bucky decides to take matters into his own hands. Mostly he wants a good night's sleep, but what he gets is a beautiful baby boy with big blue eyes, a lonely father trying to move on from tragedy, and a chance at a family he never expected to have.
Part 1 of Never Let You Go
Coming Up Aces by greenbergsays (oneshot | 1,771 | E)
Bucky Barnes is a charismatic, flirty asexual man that lives with his awkward pansexual best friend, Steve Rogers.
Part 7 of Tumblr Ficlets
Don't Let the Tide Come and Wash Us Away by alittlewicked, hey_you_with_the_face (oneshot | 10,039 | E)
There was a man standing in the shop. A man with Steve’s leather jacket wrapped tight around him – or at least a jacket that looked like his seal skin.
Anyway.
A really beautiful, young man with a strong build and broad shoulders was standing in the doorway. His wispy brown hair framing an expressive face with beautiful pouty lips, an adorably cleft chin, and steel grey eyes that remembered Steve of the stormy seas of Ireland, of his ancestors’ home.
Steve was unabashedly staring (sue him, it was his shop).
Or: the one where Steve, the selkie with a coffee shop like they wished they had at 2 Broke Girls, gets accidentally selkie-married to Bucky, the dryad who just came back from an extended tree time, and they are both just idiots in love at first sight.
The Roommate by layersofart (layersofsilence), Niitza (complete | 28,632 | T)
In which Steven G. Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, gets a roommate. Who rapidly turns into his "roommate"—in the euphemistic sense of the word.
It takes SHIELD and the rest of the Avengers an absurd amount of time to notice.
Make My Wish Come True (all i want for christmas is you) by chicklette (complete | 27,516 | M)
Steve's spent his whole life pining for Bucky Barnes. Why should this year be any different?
A Holiday fic that begins on New Year's Eve and wraps up on Christmas Day.
Cause & Effect by Avaaricious (complete | 25,810 | T)
When Bucky falls from the train in the Alps, Steve will do whatever it takes to mount a rescue mission, consequences be damned.
One possible outcome continued from my fic P.O.W.
Part 2 of Fixed Points
And So It Goes by Avaaricious (oneshot | 9,267 | not rated)
Life goes on for Steve and Bucky as they enter a new century, but there are fixed points in the universe; things that are destined to play out a certain way no matter what.
Part 3 of Fixed Points
come as you are by silentwalrus (WIP | 10,897 | E)
Steve comes back to the States. He pursues truth, justice and the American way. Bucky comes back too. He pursues inebriation and intercourse.
Part 3 of Bucky Barnes Gets His Groove Back & Other International Incidents
Just This Once (The Everybody Lives Remix) by Dira Sudis (dsudis) (oneshot | 6,808 | T)
A way it could have happened.
Ain’t Gotta Hide This Heart of Mine by yourekindof_weird (oneshot | 3,882 | G)
“Uh, so listen, Steve,” Rebecca says. She seems nervous now and she’s biting her lip, “I don’t want to, uh, come across as rude or anything, but I don’t think a relationship between us would work out,” Rebecca fiddles with the straw wrapper from her cranberry juice, “Mr. Stark sort of sprung this on me and I agreed because I was sort of startled,” she makes eye contact with him, “but I’m actually pretty gay, so…” Steve can’t stop the sigh of relief that makes its way out of his mouth. ... Steve has been dating Bucky Barnes, an ER nurse, for over a year. None of the Avengers (excluding Sam) know about this. It leads to the Avengers (mainly Tony) trying to set Steve up on dates.
Kiss Me Once Again by ShowMeAHero (oneshot | 1,171 | T)
Steve’s quiet for a moment, then says, “I’m sorry, Buck.”
“Why?” Bucky says. “It’s been half a minute for me.”
Blood Is Thicker Than Carpet Cleaner by Alexicon (oneshot | 5,872 | T)
Just because it had been a joke didn’t mean it was a bad idea. Steve opened the phone book to the business section and searched fruitlessly for the right entries for about six minutes until he finally came across ‘Cl’ by sheer luck when a few pages stuck together as he turned them.
For some reason, his eyes were immediately drawn to a small, bleak ad in the corner, with only a few words, a phone number, and a thin black border.
The ad’s content:
“Winter’s Cleaning Services. Fees paid half up front. Specializes in blood removal.”
Well. That was. Specific.
Steve Rogers is Captain America, a superhero. Bucky Barnes is the Winter Soldier, an assassin. Steve needs someone to clean his apartment. Bucky shows up to a meeting with a potential client. Neither of them got quite what they expected.
Part 7 of marvel works
May
before we can breathe easy by belovedmuerto (oneshot | 22,052 | T)
No one touches Steve.
Bucky sets out to do something about that
Check, Mate? by talkplaylove-art (talkplaylove), wearing_tearing (oneshot | 1,938 | T) (reread)
A notification from Check, Mate? blinks back at him. Steve’s heart speeds up when he opens the app and then his face breaks into a blinding grin when sees what’s waiting for him.
James likes him back.
Part 1 of endgame
Part 5 of Happy Steve Bingo
Check, Mate! by talkplaylove, wearing_tearing (oneshot | 13,097 | E)
Bucky gasps and stares down at his crotch, sex-addled brain making it harder for him to focus on what the fuck is going on. Steve himself takes a second to realize what the fuck just happened, but when he does, well.
“Did you just fuckin’ knot me?” Steve asks, eyes wide and voice loud with shock.
Or the one where Steve and Bucky meet on a dating app, and everything happens way faster than anyone expects.
Part 2 of endgame
You Will Meet a Stranger by spitandvinegar (restricted, oneshot | 3,061 | M) (reread)
When the mask falls off Steve recoils.
He'll never forgive himself.
Idioglossia by hotelmichelle (oneshot | 20,434 | M)
“James and Steve. If I have to tell you one more time to stop talking, you will be separated. Do you understand?”
Bucky stares up at Mrs. Wheatley with the face that gets him out of trouble when his ma is in a good mood. Steve becomes suddenly fascinated with his correction work. It would have been convincing enough, if their papers weren’t blank.
Or: Steve and Bucky make up a secret language
Part 1 of secret language 'verse
My Arms Were Made To Hold You by portraitofemmy, rainbow_marbles (oneshot | 55,101 | E)
Tired of being kept awake at night by a screaming baby, Bucky decides to take matters into his own hands. Mostly he wants a good night's sleep, but what he gets is a beautiful baby boy with big blue eyes, a lonely father trying to move on from tragedy, and a chance at a family he never expected to have.
Part 1 of Never Let You Go
Don't Let the Tide Come and Wash Us Away by alittlewicked, hey_you_with_the_face (oneshot | 10,039 | E)
There was a man standing in the shop. A man with Steve’s leather jacket wrapped tight around him – or at least a jacket that looked like his seal skin.
Anyway.
A really beautiful, young man with a strong build and broad shoulders was standing in the doorway. His wispy brown hair framing an expressive face with beautiful pouty lips, an adorably cleft chin, and steel grey eyes that remembered Steve of the stormy seas of Ireland, of his ancestors’ home.
Steve was unabashedly staring (sue him, it was his shop).
Or: the one where Steve, the selkie with a coffee shop like they wished they had at 2 Broke Girls, gets accidentally selkie-married to Bucky, the dryad who just came back from an extended tree time, and they are both just idiots in love at first sight.
Super Soak That Ho by silentwalrus (oneshot | 1,434 | T)
It all starts with them going to a movie. “Let’s see this one,” Steve says, pointing to the listing for ARRANGERS: RAGE OF MEGATRON. “It’s supposed to be based on a true story.”
“Fine,” Bucky says. They go to the movies.
This is crack, guys. Expect no redeeming features here.
liquid measure by silentwalrus (oneshot | 2,594 | M)
Just a normal domestic afternoon with two supersoldiers.
sneeze disease by silentwalrus (oneshot | 5,540 | M)
Bucky starts to believe in a vengeful god on May the twelfth, year of our Lord two thousand and fucking eighteen, because that’s the day he makes fun of Clint Barton for carrying around a dainty little packetful of tissues in his pocket and honking into them like a congested donkey every fifteen minutes. “Fucking polleb,” Clint swears, wiping at his watering eyes. “Fucking claritin. Fucking zyrtec. Fucking bastards, all of dem.”
“What’s happened to your pokeymen now?” Bucky asks distractedly, not looking away from where Natasha is very slowly setting the last Joker on her vast, exquisitely balanced house of cards.
“Dat’s not - dey’re not pokémon,” Clint says, aggrieved. “Dey’re drugs. And dey don’t work for me.”
couples therapy by silentwalrus, skellerbvvt (series, ongoing | 19,275 | E)
“You can be rougher,” Bucky says. “If you want.”
They’re about four minutes post orgasm and Steve is still trying to figure out where his legs are. “Muh?”
snackfic by galwednesday, silentwalrus, skellerbvvt (series, ongoing | 12,300 | G-T)
Convenience series for my off the cuff ficlets, largely unrelated to each other or my other works unless stated otherwise
death of an artist by silentwalrus (oneshot | 2,237 | G)
our intrepid heroes take a day trip to sunny, idyllic Giverny.
ain't really quaint by quietnight, silentwalrus (complete | 44,045 | M)
Natasha stops by on a Tuesday, early enough in the morning that it would have been late by Steve’s old standards. Now, though, it takes him nearly three minutes just to limp to the door, yawning, and when he opens it he has to lean heavily on the doorframe.
“Hi,” Natasha says, over the beginnings of birdsong. She’s not alone. “Can we come in?”
Part 1 of farm hell
You Sure Are Looking Good by Defiler_Wyrm, the_genderman (oneshot | 7,002 | E)
When your boyfriend’s a werewolf, some roleplay scenarios just fall into place so naturally. Bucky’s got some fancy lingerie, a danger kink, and a Red Riding Hood roleplay brewing up. Steve’s ready, willing, and eager to play his Big Bad Wolf.
at first chance i'd take the bed warmed by the body by spacebuck (oneshot | 8,238 | E)
This close, Steve can see exactly how beautiful his hands are. He’s never really noticed before, or at least he’s never really had a reason to notice, but the man’s hands are large, tanned like he works outside all day. There’s an endearing callus on the heel of one of his palms, and Steve can’t quite work out when calluses became endearing.
Steve pauses the video. Swallows hard. Casts his eyes around for anything that’ll keep his mind off the hands on his screen, off the words inked into those hands, the delicate shape of a bird’s wing, the curling edge of a vine.
He looks down. The name of the channel is right there, blaring the man’s name right into Steve’s brain until it feels like he’s known it all along.
Bucky Barnes.
OR: the one where Bucky's a youtuber who solves puzzles on camera, and steve's smitten and horny
Chlorophyll by Plumcot (series, ongoing | 19,095 | T)
Steve Rogers doesn't have time for your fancy relaxation. He doesn't have time for your comfy pillows, or your body wash, or your chamomile tea that tastes like plant matter with a side of "why". Steve Rogers only wants one thing in life; to work until the end of days, because at least then he can say he didn't waste his time on Earth doing nothing.
Bucky Barnes has flowers in his hair and chlorophyll in his skin, and he doesn't have time to be stressed. Why would he, when there's rain to dance in, sun to bask in, and philodendrons to talk to? So he is, understandably, very worried about his (sadly) human neighbor who wouldn't stop and smell the roses if he faceplanted in a flower bed. Obviously something must be done.
Steve isn't all that happy when a green-skinned stranger shows up at his door and tries to give him a plant.
June
get it together by silentwalrus (oneshot | 2,089 | T)
“You wanna go out?”
Boeuf Mystère by galwednesday (oneshot | 1,230 | T)
“Quick question,” Bucky said.
Steve looked up, but didn’t stop moving passports and stacks of cash into a nondescript blue duffel, his mind busily ticking through logistics. He’d grab the glock taped behind the hidden drawer in the desk on their way out, and they could buy new clothes once they got across the border into neutral territory, so they didn’t need much else, apart from whatever Bucky wanted to bring. One duffle should be enough. “Yeah, honey?”
“What the fuck.”
Part 12 of Tumblr ficlets 2018
Part 1 of Steakout au Poivre
The Sins of Our Fathers* by inflomora, noirhound (complete | 33,943 | M) *graphic violence
His family called him Bucky.
The arenas in Athens called him the Winter Soldier.
The Spartan Brotherhood calls him Iakov. He defends the light from the dark that once coursed through his veins.
When the location of the Tesseract—a powerful Piece of Eden—is made known to the Brotherhood by a pair of Assassins from Athens, it is up to Iakov and his men to secure it before the Order of Hydra does, and it will take the cooperation of both Bureaus to succeed. His job is not made easier when he finds himself falling for his commanding officer, a certain blond Athenian Assassin who hides a powerful secret.
But they are not the only ones after the Tesseract. With the fate of the world hanging in the balance, a dangerous enemy looming unseen over their shoulders, and nobody left to trust, they must find and bring the Tesseract to Athens before it falls into the wrong hands—that is, if they manage to survive the trip.
Part 1 of Death is A Debt (We All Must Pay)
might never be normal again (but who cares) by napricot (complete | 51,540 | E)
The beginnings of a plan took shape in Steve’s mind, as clear and simple as a tactical frontal assault. He’d prove to Bucky that this was it, he was staying: Steve was retired from the fighting game, Steve wasn’t going to let anything keep pulling them apart. Maybe then when Steve finally told him he loved him, Bucky would believe him.
All things considered, Steve thought he’d handled the whole Thanos killing half the universe thing and the ensuing bitter, desperate quest to defeat him pretty well. Sacrificing his super soldier serum to use one of the Infinity Stones wasn't a problem either, not when it meant getting back the half of the universe they'd lost, and especially not when it meant getting Bucky back. But retirement and finally confessing his feelings for Bucky? Those were proving to be more challenging.
can't hardly weight by stevergrsno (noxlunate) (oneshot | 3,760 | T)
When Steve Rogers woke up in the future he was given a phone and shown how to use social media.
Well, no, in all actuality he was given a two week crash course entitled The Future And You, a six hour sensitivity course, a brand new id, and a credit card.
In which Steve gets a crush on an instagram gym thot and laments over it a lot to the intern stuck with him.
The Art Of Cooking For Two by littleblackfox (complete | 92,761 | M) (reread)
“Any questions?” “Uh. What the fuck am I doing here?” Bucky offers.
I just met you (and this is crazy) by littlesystems (complete | 41,784 | E)
After Steve gets outed by a grainy cell phone picture, it takes the media less than 24 hours to discover Captain America’s secret relationship with James Barnes: classical musician, teen heartthrob, and son of a former president.
The only problem? Steve has never met James Barnes in his life.
Part 1 of I just met you (and extras)
All of Your Love is Sunlight by canistakahari, WarlockInTraining (complete | 22,657 | E)
Sometimes the path to happiness involves bad timing turned good, a butt plant, and a little everyday magic. For Steve and Bucky, it's all that and more.
Dirty Pics by lillupon (oneshot | 3,117 | M)
There’s this one guy Bucky slept with three months ago who still sends pics of his ass whenever Bucky asks. What can he say? Grant’s got an ass that just won’t quit.
Hey, Asshole! A New York City Love story by bunnymaccool (oneshot | 14,818 | T)
Bucky's running late for the bus and he's stuck in line behind some ridiculous shoulder to waist ratio bastard who's too busy flirting with the baristas to get his frickin' order in. After he tells the dude off, completely in his rights he feels, the damn oversized puppy-faced ass keeps following him around and trying to apologize. And okay, dude is hot like burnin', but Bucky just doesn't have the time or patience for soothing the wounded ego of some gymrat wannabe with an obsession for dressing like he's hiding from the mob and .... why are you laughing, Sam?
Part 1 of New York City Assholes
Snapshots by layersofart (layersofsilence), newsbypostcard (oneshot | 18,579 | M)
Steve picks up the picture to be sure of what he saw, but there's been no mistake. "It doesn't even have a Navy stamp," he says, turning the photo toward her. "What is this?"
"Are you asking me?"
"It looks like a pin-up."
"Yes," Natasha agrees. "It does."
---
Post TWS: Steve is trying to find Bucky. Instead, he finds the sexy Navy "propaganda" Bucky somehow never mentioned he modeled for before the war.
I Wished On The Moon For You by stevergrsno (noxlunate) (oneshot | 14,581 | T)
“Holy shit,” Sam says, and then delighted, “Holy shit. You look like my nana’s dog. This is incredible.”
“Yeah, funny that, when they gave him the serum it only really worked on the human bits.” Bucky, whose reaction to Sam thus far has been standoffish at best, and like a wolf whose territory has been invaded at worst, sounds amused, the asshole.
Steve growls a little.
Or rather: A story in which Steve Rogers is the littlest werewolf who could and Bucky Barnes comes in from the cold and makes him his home.
Love in a Time of War by cleo4u2, cobaltmoony (complete | 20,775 | G)
James Barnes is a world renowned opera singer who has dreamed of performing in an opera composed by Steve Rogers. When his dream finally comes true, he quickly regrets what he’s always wished for. But while Steve can’t stand James, Bucky can’t stop wishing they could have some kind of future together. Will Steve realize he’s wrong about Bucky? Or is the damage from their first meeting too much to overcome?
Brooklyn by togina (oneshot | 8,749 | T)
"Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"
Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.
I [Heart] You by writeonclara (oneshot | 1,138 | G)
“Steve’s been hit with a curse,” Natasha said. She said it calmly, so Bucky didn’t immediately go flying out of the apartment to tear apart the Tower in search of Steve. Then again, Natasha would probably be calm if New York City spontaneously burst into flames. He lowered the coffee pot and squinted at her.
“Of course he has,” he said. He felt, abruptly, exhausted. “What is it?”
“The witch kept ranting about sexual repression and archaic moral principles,” she continued blithely.
“It’s not like you to prevaricate, Romanov.”
Natasha pressed her lips together. For a moment, Bucky thought she might start laughing. “It might be easier just to show you.”
OR: Steve’s been hit with a rather telling curse.
Ruff Day by ellebeesknees (umetnica), emptydistractions (complete | 20,570 | M)
Bucky's life is a mess: The US government's been breathing down his neck ever since his trial, the Avengers are a constant pain in his ass, and putting his brain back together hasn't exactly been a walk in the park. This wasn't exactly what he had in mind when he fled Hydra.
He's doing okay, but what he doesn't need is any extra stress. And what he definitely doesn't need is for Steve to tangle with an amateur sorcerer and end up a massive, overly friendly, eighty-pound, shedding, slobbering dog. That Bucky's now responsbile for. For the foreseeable future.
But hey, silver lining. At least now Steve can't talk him to death.
This Side by brideofquiet (restricted, complete | 35,321 | T)
Bucky Barnes restores antiques for a living. Steve Rogers saves the world. Bucky has no reason to believe their paths will ever cross, right up until they do.
Or: the Notting Hill AU.
Behold, a Man by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen) (oneshot | 9,296 | T)
At sunrise tomorrow, Bucky knew he was going to turn into a rooster. He wasn't sure if it was better or worse knowing it was coming. What he did know was that it didn't matter where he slept: his room, Steve's room, Stark's lab—it was going to happen. The curse of the were-cock had struck and there was no escaping. As the elevator carried them back down to their floor, he started chuckling.
Steve gave him a look of concern.
Bucky waved it away. "Just thinking. Curse of the Were-cock'd probably make a lousy movie."
Steve snorted, then said thoughtfully, "I don't know. Maybe it depends on what sort of movie you're making."
Rusted Gate by hafital (oneshot | 19,677 | E)
How many times has he replayed this scene? The young private, the forest path, the rusted gate. Steve and him. This last chance to tell him. He knows what’s about to happen. Why can’t he tell him? How many times has he tried to change how it ends? Maybe this time, he can get it right.
Honestly, Fuck Brooklyn by stfustucky (iwillpaintasongforlou) (oneshot | 8,243 | E)
So, aliens are attacking and have shredded Brooklyn to smithereens, which pretty much makes it a typical Tuesday afternoon in New York. Bucky Barnes, long time Brooklyn resident, has Been There and Done That. What's less typical is the redhead who breaks into his apartment to rescue him, the underground bunker he's stashed in, and the sudden appearance of masked superhero Captain America kissing Bucky breathless and calling him baby. Good thing Bucky knows how to throw a punch.
((Or, the one where it takes yet another apocalypse for the somewhat oblivious Bucky Barnes to figure out that his dorky artist boyfriend Steve is actually Captain Goddamned America. Whoops.))
I saw you there, I saw you then by cleo4u2, xantissa (oneshot | 19,320 | E)
An accidental slide of a thumb brings Steve and Bucky back together.
Art Nouveau by voluptuous_panic (oneshot | 12,246 | E)
Steve's on the worst date of his life. At least the bartender's cute.
No One Wants Your Opinion by thepinupchemist (oneshot | 5,600 | E)
Wherein Bucky loves to cuddle Steve Rogers, Steve comes out on national television for the sole purpose of spiting conservative politicians, Tony sees things he wishes he hadn't, and Pepper doesn't know why she even bothers.
July
Honey Honey* by justanotherStonyfan (series, ongoing | 544,594 | E) */others, past but explicit
The kid is maybe, oh, twenty years younger than him? Clean-shaven, and looking out of the corner of his eye at Steve in the same way Steve feels he must be looking at the kid – i.e., like he wants to do any number of unmentionable things to him.
Because boy does Steve ever want to do unspeakable things to this kid.
AKA, the Accidental Sugardaddy!Steve AU I always wanted.
Through The Woods by alby_mangroves, VenusMonstrosa (complete | 64,082 | E)
There’s a legend in Mansewood, nearly as old as the town itself, about a pack of werewolves that once lived in the forest. They say only one survives; a monstrous and snarling beast with fur like a blizzard and fangs the size of daggers. They say it guards the lands and all creatures in it, and no hunter has faced it and lived to tell the tale.
Steve doesn’t care about any of that. He only wants to know if it prefers T-Bone or ribeye, and would it please stop tracking dirt through his house? He just mopped the floor.
Part 1 of Through The Woods
streamlined by nickel710 (series, ongoing | 56,248 | G-M)
In which Bucky Barnes, Iraq war veteran and bicycle enthusiast, streams Overwatch on the side for fun under the handle President15, and one day his friend-of-a-friend FalconKnight introduces a new player to the crew, THECapRogers. It would be totally absurd for the actual Captain America to hang out in his stream and argue about baseball, right? ...right?
BuckRogers vs. the Internet by galwednesday (series, complete | 5,642 | T-M)
“Remember what I said about internet trolls?”
“Don’t feed the trolls.”
“Exactly. Did I not say the same thing to Barnes?” Tony asked rhetorically. “Were those not my exact words? I could have sworn they were, and yet.”
“Bucky’s feeding the trolls?”
“He’s throwing a goddamn seven-course troll banquet. Every time someone on Twitter asks if your relationship announcement is real, he replies. Colorfully.”
Steve opened his mouth to ask what “colorfully” meant, then caught the gleam in Tony’s eye and put two and two together. He blushed. Colorfully. “Oh.”
(Steve and Bucky announce their relationship in a very dignified press conference. Bucky then replies to every goddamn tweet asking him to confirm it with a different dirty euphemism. Things escalate from there.)
Just About Half-Past Ten by rohkeutta (oneshot | 1,978 | T)
But as he reaches Madison Avenue, Stark Tower a mere block away, the skies open with a whoosh, and he barely manages to duck under the construction scaffolding perched over the sidewalk. Thunder rumbles overhead, and Bucky frantically checks every compartment of his bag for an umbrella he knows is there.
It’s not. He does find some loose glitter, though, and a lipstick he wore for Pride and had thought he’d lost, plus a spare MetroCard he can’t remember buying.
He also gets a crystal clear flashback of leaving the umbrella under his desk to dry yesterday morning, and never picking it up again.
Leave Those Umbrellas At Home by rohkeutta (oneshot | 2,441 | T)
Bucky watches the watery snow come down and thinks about it, his mood deflating steadily. He imagines Steve going home the next morning, sitting down at his desk and opening his Super-Secret Sexcapade Journal and writing Bucky’s name in next to a carefully-thought Preparation & Performance Grade.
B+ for the effort to look nice naked, C- for being embarrassingly vanilla and wanting to do it face-to-face so he could scritch his fingers through Steve’s beard and hair. Not worth a repetition. Kinky Grade: F.
Bucky’s being uncharitable and he knows it, but Hangry Barnes can be a sad sack of shit when he wants to.
Page One Rewrite by thedoubteriswise (oneshot | 3,008 | T)
World War II enthusiasts and film geeks rejoice! Much like the Sentinel of Liberty himself, a few reels of missing Cap footage have been brought back to life.
We're All in the Gutter, but Some of Us Are Looking at the Stars by chipofftheoldblock (complete | 45,045 | M)
I’m sorry, sir,’ he said, and Maria looked a little appeased, though now she was gesturing for him to get off stage. And then he smiled real big and wide and sincere and said, ‘Guess I’m just real fuckin’ tired of everyone treating me like an idiot. To answer your question, ain’t a lot I really miss. Polio was pretty fuckin’ awful, and so was the food, and the racism and homophobia and hatred so many folks had for one another for dumb-as-shit differences was so goddamn stupid -’
Maria was suddenly on stage beside him, pulling his microphone away and grabbing his arm with a steel grip. Steve just leaned over to Nat’s mic with a shit-eating grin on his face and said, ‘Thank you so much for your time.’
Steve's tired of the world treating him like he doesn't know a damn thing about the future. Bucky's tired of not knowing a damn thing about the past.
They meet somewhere in the middle.
when he gets older, he might be the one* by cobaltmoony, CoraRochester (complete | 32,398| E) *underage
In which a freak run-in with the Cosmic Cube ages Steve into his fifties, and Bucky— still trying to figure out who he is after decades of brainwashing— decides it’s time to come home.
Part 1 of when he gets older, he might be the one
crowding the hitter by rooonil_waazlib (complete | 12,917 | E)
But the trash monsters are coming closer, and Bucky’s going to be pissed if he has to get his grate replaced tomorrow.
He turns off the panini press, heads into his bedroom, and pulls his college baseball bat out of the closet, pausing only to pull on the slacks he’d just taken off. He’s going to go defend his shop, and he’s not going to do it in his underpants.
Nobody Likes Unsolicited Dick Pics (Except When They Do)* by Blondie_Bluue (complete | 21,864 | E) *chose not to warn
When Bucky Barnes accidentally sends a dick pic to a wrong number while looking for a little action, he never expected to get a positive response.
Feelings are caught, drama ensues, things work out in the end
i'm a ghost, you're an angel (one and the same) by voxofthevoid (complete | 31,133 | E)
“You fucked him.”
Bucky licks his lips and nods. Fury lets out a deep breath and leans back in his chair in a movement that’s terrifyingly controlled but spills danger out the edges.
“Twenty years,” Fury says slowly, taking special care to imbue each word with his personal brand of bone-chilling judgement. It used to make Bucky quiver in his boots back when he was a baby S.H.I.E.L.D agent with two functional arms. “In that time, I have asked, threatened, coaxed, and damn near begged this man to work for us, or at least with us, and what finally gets it done is your dick?”
“Ass.”
“Excuse me?”
“Listen, I’m not saying any part of my anatomy is what persuaded Commander Rogers to agree to this, but hypothetically, if that’s what did it, let’s just say he would have found my ass far more persuasive than my dick.” Bucky pauses, secretly relishing the sour-lemon look on Fury’s face. “It still hurts, in case you’re wondering.”
- Steve tries to seduce Bucky over to the dark side. But the Avengers are more grey than dark, and it’s still a paler shade of grey than what S.H.I.E.L.D’s got going nine times out of ten. Bucky really should be more concerned about the seduction part.
Part 2 of i'm guilty of treason (i've abandoned control)
turn me up when you feel low by faerietell (oneshot | 13,891 | T) (reread)
Steve Rogers is a man out of time, in a city that used to be his home, a city he no longer recognizes. Through charming radio host, Bucky Barnes, he relearns his city, adopts a dog, and falls in love.
August
A lot of Good Omens reading happened in August.
When the Season Comes Around by theheartischill (oneshot | 34,447 | T)
The other problem is that Steve loves him, and Bucky isn't sure he remembers how to love.
Despicable by TheVagabondBoy (series, ongoing | 8,450 | T)
Bucky Barnes just wants to scavenge spaceship-wrecks and get a nice payday for it. He really wasn't planning on finding a survivor on his latest wreck.
The Joy of Little Things by obsessivereader, Sealcat (complete | 29,744 | E)
"Do you want me to eat you?"
“No, but—” Steve broke off his instinctive response. All his life, he’d believed in doing what was right… he was not about to stop now. Wincing at the prickling pain in his feet, he straightened up to his full height. “Yes. If it means you’ll leave this place.”
"But you don’t look very filling." The tip of the dragon’s tail twitched. "I don’t suppose you’re a virgin?" he asked hopefully. "I’ve heard they taste better."
Steve gritted his teeth and refused to answer. The dragon could very well find that out for himself. He stared at the dragon. The dragon stared back. Then the dragon got up, turned around, and went back into his cave.
"Well? Come on, tribute."
or, how Steve ends up working for a dragon with a very odd sense of humor
Quench by AidaRonan (complete | 9,417 | E)
This guy, he had never met. He definitely wouldn’t have forgotten it if he had. Shaggy dishwater blond hair run through with natural golden highlights, a thick brown beard, and a body like a Mack truck made out of ribeye.
“Fuck me,” Bucky gasped.
“Excuse me?” Or the one where archeology intern Bucky Barnes meets actual archeologist Steve Rogers and reaches levels of thirst scientists once believed to be theoretically impossible.
haha, jk by relenafanel (oneshot | 13,523 | T)
(A tale of Not Unrequited Love)
Steve: I love you. Bucky: oh no. (and other fallacies)
Bucky learns to never say never when it comes to the effect his best friend can have.
Like Real People Do by 2bestfriends (complete | 67,777 | E)
Seven years into an isolated retirement after the Battle of New York, Steve has carved out a place for himself in the foothills of the Catskill Mountains. He has a best friend (his dog, Lady), a frenemy (a local black bear named Rufus), and a cabin in the middle of the woods, an hour's drive from the nearest town. As November comes to a close, he heads into town to pick up supplies and ends up with a stowaway.
Bucky hasn't had much luck over the past seven years. Disaster caused his family to move from New York to Indiana, and his life has steadily fallen apart ever since. After one too many heartbreaks, he decides to hitch his way back to the last place he remembers being happy: Brooklyn. He's in the homestretch when he finds himself stranded in a half-empty tourist town in the Catskills and decides to take a chance crawling into the back of someone's truck.
--
AKA the "Lumberjack Steve/Twink Bucky" fic of our hearts. Bucky spends so much time thirsty as hell.
Part 1 of All That You Are to Me
Pod Bless America by Deisderium (complete | 6,13 | T)
Bucky can't believe his favorite podficcer recorded his newest fanfic AU of the show Commandos. He's even more surprised when the customer who busts him listening to fic while he's working in the office supply store turns out to be that podficcer.
* The guy—maybe bi_shield?—took his phone, looked down at the screen, and smiled. "Yeah, that one's mine," he said with no evidence of embarrassment. "It was a good one." He handed the phone back to Bucky.
"I wrote it," Bucky croaked.
Thunder and Ice* by Quarra, TrishArgh (complete | 18,027 | E) *tagged rape/noncon for mentions of sex pollen
Bucky is back with Steve in Avengers Tower and recovering well from his time with Hydra and the Avengers are working together better than ever too; but Steve still feels like something is missing in his life. At the urging of his loved ones, Steve takes up creative writing in his free time to help him regain a sense of happiness and purpose.
And his favorite subject to write about? Having sex with Bucky.
It turns out that other people seem to like what he's writing about too. So much so that Steve picks up a pen name and becomes a published romance novelist. But how long can Steve's secret smut writings stay secret, especially given who he's writing about and how public it becomes?
Be Careful What You Post on the Internet by itshysterekal (oneshot | 19,117 | E)
Bucky just wants to get on to the next mission, but the therapist he's forced to see insists he take up a hobby. Cue his writing of highly explicit Avengers RPF to make fun of Stark and his headlong dive into social media. He never expected a hobby to change his life.
September
THE Steve Rogers PROBLEM by relenafanel (series, ongoing | 85,015 | T-M)
Meet SSA Bucky Barnes: Hostage Rescue Team member extraordinaire. He loves his job, his body, and hooking up. He hates civilians and local enforcement officers trying to do his job and fucking everything to shit.
Meet Bucky Barnes: fan of the television show The Howling Commandos extraordinaire. He loves writing fanfic, creating fanart, and staring at Steve Rogers' ass. He hates the long journey of doing the necessary physical therapy on his arm (and also that no one told him he knows Steve Rogers).
Meet Bucky Barnes: Steve Rogers' boyfriend. He loves Steve. He hates the idea of that being his sole identity.
Green (Heart)-Eyed Monster by TheIntelligentHufflepuff (oneshot | 1,822 | T)
He shakes his head, tries to turn away. But his eyes rove back, insatiable. Steve is spinning Sam, goofily. Sam stumbles, and Steve instinctively grabs Sam to his chest to keep him up.
For a wild, petty moment, Bucky wishes he'd just fall.
[Post-Endgame, except an Endgame where nobody died. Bucky gets drunk and jealous at the after-party, but makes up with Sam and gets together with Steve the next day]
Love's Just a Feeling by fadefilter, Mystrana (complete | 26,359 | E)
Not Without You is on tour, and the lucky fans at their sold out shows are always treated to the best show: great music and excellent entertainment, courtesy of Steve and Bucky, who can't seem to keep their hands off of each other—both onstage and off.
The tour's almost over, but Steve's got a bit of a problem. Despite constantly reassuring the rest of the band that neither of them will develop feelings...
...he's pretty sure he's developed some feelings.
No Retreat, Baby, No Surrender by itsnotbleak (complete | 39,792 | T)
"You think your old army buddy is working at Subway?”
“Of course not,” said Steve, trying to sound like he thought the idea was ludicrous. ���Bucky died in 1944. I just...” He didn’t know what to say, so he slapped on his best lonely soldier face and lied. “It’s just it’s nice to pretend for a bit, you know?”
“No,” said Natasha. “It sounds deeply unhealthy, but you do you.”
In which Steve finds a man that looks a lot like Bucky making sandwiches in a Brooklyn subway. Except Bucky died seventy years ago, and this guy shows no sign of remembering Steve.
The Boy With The Thorn In His Side by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (restricted, complete | 21,980 | E)
“Holy shit,” says Steve. “I’ve been knocked out twice by the same guy.”
Introduction to Fake Dating Your Best Friend 101 by crinklefries (oneshot | 24,627 | T)
Bucky stares at his best friend as though he’s absolutely lost what’s left of his dumbass mind.
“Excuse me?” he asks dumbly.
Steve sighs and sags back onto the couch, covering his face dramatically with one large, well-manicured hand.
“Dean Coulson thinks we’re dating. And gay. But like, for each other. And now I need you to fake date me so I can convince the Chancellor to fund my research.”
or;
Steve and Bucky are a pair of professors who have to fake date for academic purposes and are real dumb along the way. It's not so much a forest of pine as a whole landscape of it. It turns out fine, probably.
Beyond the Yellow Book Road by crinklefries (complete | 30,057 | T)
Before he was Captain America, he was Steve Rogers, knobby kneed and wild-eyed, with scrapes on his knuckles and a book in his hands.
In 1942, he leaves for war and eventually crashes the Valkyrie.
That's only the beginning of his story.
In 2011, Steve's body is dragged from ice off the coast of Greenland.
In 2015, he meets a bookstore clerk.
This is what happens when a superhero loses his way home and the only way back is through the Yellow Book Road.
October
In The Next Life We'll Be Good by Nori (series, ongoing | 83,018 | M) (reread)
Steve is resurrected 500 years into the future. Humanity is on the brink of extinction, hostile aliens are clawing at the door, and the only thing standing in the way are Guardians. Figuring out how, exactly, to be a Guardian doesn't come easily for Steve, no matter how much he wants to protect the innocent. Luckily for him, he has friends who're more than willing to show him the way.
---
Breaking your hand doesn’t actually help in any way,” a voice says from behind him. Steve twists at the waist, less surprised than he probably ought to be.
“Hey,” Steve says, feeling a smile breaking over his face. “You’re all about clandestine meetings, huh?”
“Maybe I wanted to be a spy in my last life,” the scout replies breezily, drifting like a shadow to stand adjacent to Steve.
Far Strayed* by eyres (complete | 18,344 | M) *chose not to warn
They’re not going to stop coming after me,” Bucky tells Steve, somewhere in the air above Siberia.
“Let them come,” Steve replies, furious still.
After Siberia, instead of seeking refuge in Wakanda, Bucky and Steve go on the run.
The Biggest Part of Me* by Anna_Heyward (complete | 69,992 |E) *chose not to warn
Newly divorced single dad Steve Rogers moves his kids from the suburbs to Brooklyn to start their new life together, and becomes captivated by the young man who works at the coffee shop downstairs from Steve’s apartment.
Bucky Barnes is 25 years old, working part-time in a coffee shop and still living with his mom. When a handsome single dad in a pinch offers Bucky a job as his nanny, Bucky takes him up on it.
(AU of the movie The Rebound.)
Part 1 of The Biggest Part of Me 'verse
Knit One, Purl Two, Is How I Say "I Love You"* by Ignisentis (oneshot | 4,636 | T) *chose not to warn
Bucky looks up from the book he’s reading at the sound of the familiar gentle clacking of the wooden needles Steve has always preferred to use when he’s knitting. He used to knit back in the day whenever he wasn’t drawing. He said it helped calm him down, that he liked making things, especially for Bucky, that it made him feel like he was contributing more since it was hard for him to hold down a regular job.
Bucky thought it was all of those things but also that Steve Rogers was never the kind of man who could keep his hands still.
He used to knit Bucky socks and hats and scarves whenever he could get his hands on some yarn. He’d always wanted to make a sweater but never could get the same kind of yarn in sweater quantities.
Now, though. Now Bucky has a handful of sweaters that Steve’s made for him: a cable-knit fisherman’s sweater with a shawl collar; a simple pullover; a replica of Steve’s WWII dancing monkey sweater he wore on stage that Steve gave him with a smirk; a chunky Tweed cardigan with elbow patches; the lightest, most sumptuous cashmere henley-style pullover; even a Fair Isle with the Ghostbusters symbol worked into the yoke. Fuck, but Bucky loves that movie. And the sweater.
i just called to say i love you* by brideofquiet (oneshot | 7,895 | T) */others
Both times Steve makes a fool of himself in front of the soccer coach, it’s mostly an accident.
Grass, Fire, Water? My Only Weakness Is You! by powercrow (complete | 52,725 | E)
Steve first notices Bucky at a Pokémon GO raid at the local Target.
He’s immediately intrigued, but interpersonal relationships have been a real struggle since his mother’s death. Bucky’s not without his own bullshit after the disastrous end of a prior relationship. PoGo somehow brings them together anyways, and they become friends, catch lots of Pokémon, deal with their issues, and eventually fall in love.
November
You can't hurry love by obsessivereader (oneshot | 8,547 | E)
“Jesus!” Steve hurries forward. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Before he’s even halfway into the room, the man’s already on his feet and turning around. He has a face as perfect as his ass. High forehead, square jaw, pink lips with a hint of a natural pout. Short, wavy, dark brown hair. His wide, deep-set eyes are a clear and luminous gray. Those eyes widen as the man takes in the sight of Steve staring at him.
Something about that wide-eyed, slightly nervous look catches at Steve’s memory. “Bucky?”
Steve remembers a shy, sweet teenager, with soft round cheeks, eyes too big for his face, and a wild head of hair. If this really is Bucky, some time in the last few years, he grew into his face and is now so gorgeous that Steve’s having a little trouble breathing. The lean, toned body beautifully displayed by a black shirt and gray pants don’t help the breathing situation either.
“You… have a beard now,” Bucky says faintly.
or, Bucky finally gets to do something about his decades-long crush on his best friend's older brother...
Part 1 of Happy Steve Bingo!
Stay with Me* by em_dibujsb, maikurosaki (complete | 79,903 | E) *graphic violence
When Bucky Barnes accompanies his family to a ceremony dedicated to George Barnes' activity, he expects free food and drinks, the occasional boring speech, and watching his dad blush furiously as he gets to finally meet his childhood hero. What he doesn't expect is saving Captain America's life and getting shot in the process. What follows is a slow road to recovery, eating hospital food (still disgusting), making new friends (Avengers!!! Seriously, the Avengers!) and pining over Captain America (he won't comment on that). It sounds simple, but it really isn’t!
Anything You Ask by thepinupchemist (oneshot | 6,187 | E)
A skinny blond kid appears in Bucky's candy store, and when her frantic father comes looking for her, Bucky doesn't realize he just met his mate. Over the course of several months, he falls in love with Steve Rogers and his daughter. Fortunately, they love him right back.
Poppies of the Field* by kaasknot (complete | 63,417 | M) *chose not to warn, temporary major character death
"Thank you for purchasing a StarkTech Companion 'Bot! Please state your name for licensing."
Wherein Bucky is a severely agoraphobic combat veteran, and Steve is the android he buys out of loneliness.
So Alive by GottaSaveBucky (Cosmic_Entity_1of4) (complete | 108,978 | E)
A man wearing a light denim jacket over a dark blue shirt came into the shop, a box tucked under his right arm. Despite it being late afternoon, he was wearing sunglasses with bright blue lenses, and his long, dark hair was pulled back in a messy little bun. A few strands had escaped, framing his strong, unshaven jawline. The man looked into the café, smiled widely, and waved in Clint’s direction as he kept walking into the bookstore, and Steve’s mouth went completely dry.
Beautiful, was the only word to describe that smile; straight, white teeth framed by full, lush, red lips, bracketed by laugh lines and an adorable dimple in his right cheek, a charming little chin cleft just visible under the light stubble—Steve was struck literally speechless. And that was before he got a glimpse of the man’s backside. Slim hips and a round, firm-looking ass led to long, lean legs that were encased in snug, dark blue jeans.
“Guh,” Steve said, watching the dark-haired man continue on to the back of the store.
__________
A bookstore AU starring our favorite OTP, set to the song “So Alive” by Love and Rockets (from their fourth album “Love and Rockets,” 1989).
** COMPLETED **
Part 1 of Brooklyn Heights Books
backs treat boys by rohkeutta (oneshot | 2,570 | M)
“What? No, you��re not boring,” Steve protests, bless his heart. “It’s just—I have this kink in my back, probably from work or the gym. It’s hard to get comfortable.”
“Where?” Bucky asks, looking back down at his tablet and swiping to the next slide. He took a beginners' massage therapy course at the community college last summer to keep himself from doing something dumb, like fucking his way through the city because he was bored while Steve was on a work thing in Europe. Missing his best buddy was perfectly okay, but even Bucky, a self-proclaimed Cheerful Thot, felt it might be a little excessive to go on a one-night-stand binge just because his pal was out of town for a few weeks.
Part 9 of a pocketful of mumbles
Metallurgy by eyres, TheFriendlyPigeon (complete | 22,129 | M)
he battle quieted for the moment, the great metal giant turns, at last, and sees Steve. Dark, almost human hair frames a sharp, steel face - but, Steve is caught by its eyes. They’re bright silver, sparking in the sunlight, shot through with gray and blue, visible even at this distance. Something about them nags at Steve, calls to him, reminds him of…
Instead of making the Winter Soldier, Hydra transfers Bucky's consciousness to a metal body, locking his mind within a prison of steel and programming. However, Bucky is stronger than they could've ever imagined.
Press Play to Start by layersofsilence, talkplaylove-art (talkplaylove) (complete | 31,502 | M)
Steve still doesn’t understand; and then he does, or he thinks he does, in a burst of clarity that he immediately wishes he hadn’t gotten.
The thing is that it’s not possible. James shifts his position ever so slightly; his shoulders shift smoothly under his tac gear, and it’s not possible that Steve could be programming another human.
CA:TWS AU - in which Steve Rogers, SHIELD agent, finds out that HYDRA is not so old and defeated a foe, and that the Winter Soldier is more than a whispered rumour.
Something that Feels Like Hope by BeaArthurPendragon (oneshot | 7,669 | E)
Captain America, feeling gloomy around the holidays and exhausted from hobnobbing with the rich and famous at yet another charity gala, escapes into an empty room for some peace and quiet.
Army veteran James Barnes is the founder of the Gulmira Project, which provides high-quality prostheses to civilians injured in the Afghanistan and Iraq Wars, and needs to find a place to practice his speech.
You'll never guess what happens next.
Eight Invitations* by alby_mangroves, RevolutionaryJo, Speranza (oneshot | 3,345 | E) *chose not to warn
Part 15 of 4 Minute Window
December
Cute Stitch Witch Discount by stevergrsno (noxlunate) (onesoht | 3,089 | T)
He’s barely finished with his drink when Bucky appears in front of him, a cup in hand. “Our famous cocoa,” He says, setting it onto the little table next to Steve, “On the house.”
Steve plucks the cup up off the table and cradles it close, inhaling the smell of chocolate and cinnamon. “Thank you,” Steve says, and then, “I can pay though, really.”
“Call it the cute stitch witch discount,” Bucky says with a wink before he’s turning away and disappearing behind the counter to take care of another customer.
In which Steve has magic, meets Bucky 70 years later, and as always, falls a little bit in love with him.
Part 24 of Happy Steve Bingo Fills
How to Woo the Winter Soldier* by writeonclara (complete | 21,566 | G) *chose not to warn
“I think I’m ready to date again,” Steve said.
“What,” Natasha said.
“What?” Clint said, lowering his binoculars. He blinked at the dumbstruck look on the Captain’s face, then followed his gaze to where he was staring dopily at—at the Winter fucking Soldier.
“Steve, no,” Clint groaned.
Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.
Ever Mine, Ever Ours by hitlikehammers (oneshot | 2,914 | E)
Steve goes back to return the Stones, for the sake of the universe.
The extra Pym Particles he palms when Bruce isn't looking, though? Those are for the heart he has now and the heart he took into the ice; those are for the loves he's known and held and lost and found, those—
Those are for the sake of his soul.
Avengers: Endgame Fix-It.
Gone, Baby, Gone by crinklefries (complete | 38,943 | M)
An entity known only by the name LEVIATHAN finds each of them, sending, initially a solitary text: Our name is LEVIATHAN. We have a job for you. You have three minutes to decide.
Well, what’s a group of bored, reckless thrill-seekers with very specific skills and long criminal histories to do? They needed the money and, well, it sounded fun.
[ or;
Steve is the head of a new criminal crew, Bucky is the getaway driver, Sam wears a LOT of bold outfits and gold jewelry, and the rest of the Avengers help too.
There's heists and fast cars in a neon-noir setting, but most importantly, Bucky wears a crop top that says be gay do crime and he is, in fact, gay and he does, in fact, do crime. ]
Home Is Wherever I'm With You by cydonic (complete | 88,570 | E)
This is what happens when you buy a house to flip having only seen the online images: you get more than you bargained for. Bucky Barnes brings all the tools to handle a dilapidated home, but he's hardly prepared for a smart-mouthed child (with poor aim), a crying baby, and the hottest dad he's ever seen in his life living right next door.
That House-Flipper!AU.
Part 1 of Flowers in our Eyes
Caramel Macchiato by littleblackfox (complete | 15,450 | E)
"You ate my bees," Bucky says. Because his own tongue fucking hates him.
Empires Fall, but Not Us by AidaRonan (oneshot | 21,611 | T)
When Steve was ten, he met a boy with a clockwork heart.
A cyberpunk tale of friendship, love, loss, and reunion; framed by the battle to bring hope and joy back to a City drowning under Hydra's rule.
No More Shame by thepinupchemist (oneshot | 3,287 | T)
“I think the Winter Soldier is going to our synagogue,” Billy said, apropos of absolutely nothing.
Or: Billy Kaplan helps Bucky Barnes find his way.
No, Mr. Bond, I Expect You to Pine by galwednesday (oneshot | 16,466 | T)
"Agent Rogers. We have to stop meeting like this." The Winter Soldier crouched in front of where Steve was slumped against the wall, hands and forearms glued to the stone behind him by some kind of sticky polymer. "Comfortable?"
"No," Steve lied. "My blood circulation has been cut off. I've lost all feeling in my hands."
"Oh, so I should probably cut you loose," the Soldier deadpanned.
"It's a medical emergency. You don't want to be responsible for me losing limbs, do you?"
"Tell you what, if you lose your hands, I'll make you some new ones." He held up his metal hand, smallest finger crooked. “Pinkie promise.”
Secret Agent adversaries-to-lovers AU where the Winter Soldier keeps tying Captain America to walls and sticking around to chat. Shut up, Natasha, it’s not flirting, okay? (It’s definitely flirting.)
Part 2 of The Adventures of Captain America, Not-So-Secret Agent
Proprietary Information by notlucy (complete | 85,141 | E)
Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.
Part 1 of Additional Information
you, the moon by dirtybinary (oneshot | 2,339 | T)
Stimulus. The sight of one Bucky Barnes, age seventeen, best friend, roommate, favourite nuisance, coming home after work. Subject’s Response. A swoop of the stomach, like when one pointed one’s bike down that steep hill beside the church and pedalled really fast, but without the inevitable sprained ankles and bloody scrapes.
Steve likes Bucky. Bucky likes food and cats and girls and maybe, just maybe, Steve.
Steve deals with this very well indeed.
Local Raccoon Befriends Angry Chihuahua by charlesdk (oneshot | 15,314 | T)
Rogers was a tiny man. Bucky was sure he easily disappeared in a crowd and became invisible. He was tiny and short and skinny and didn't look like much. But his fists were clenched to his sides in anger, his jaw was jutted out, his boney shoulders were square, and his voice held more power than his body looked like it did.
Screaming and yelling and swearing like a damn sailor and asking for a fight, Bucky found him breathtakingly gorgeous. Like a tiny ball of energy and rage and justice that shined brighter than the fucking sun, punching his way through the evil and disgusting trash of the world.
Bucky never believed in love at first sight and the way his heart warmed and pounded at the mere sound of Rogers didn't really change his mind. But it did make him stop and stare, desperately reaching out for the feeling he felt when he looked at him because it was good and Bucky hadn't had good in his life in years.
OR – in which one armed veteran, suffering insomniac, and grump extraordinaire Bucky Barnes gets turned into a puddle of goo by the tiniest, angriest, most wonderful guy in the entire universe.
Stop Dragon My Heart Around by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen) (oneshot | 15,127 | T)
All Bucky had wanted was gold. A few jewels. Not a king's riches, not a prince's fortune, just enough he'd never have to worry about anything ever again. It was what had sent him racing to the dragon's cave when he'd overheard the news that the Prince had killed her.
But he should have known better. Nothing good ever came from eavesdropping, and nothing good ever came from listening to men in pubs, and now instead of gold, instead of jewels, he had an egg. A dragon egg, and no idea how he was going to keep it alive.
The dragon egg wasn't all he had, even if he didn't know it. He also had a full-grown dragon on his trail, one who'd sworn he'd find the egg--and the human who stole it.
I Know the Drill by castiowl (oneshot | 4,869 | T)
Bucky says some explicit things to his dentist while under the influence of anesthesia following a wisdom tooth removal. The rest is (embarrassing) history.
Our Broken Parts (Smashed on the Floor) by This Girl Is (non_sequential) (oneshot | 11,702 | E)
Steve is sent undercover to catch an elusive Russian assassin. He didn’t want to do it in the first place; he’s damn certain he won’t be asked again.
great whales of the sea by canistakahari (oneshot | 3,002 | T)
“Whales make sounds,” says Bucky, shocked.
“They sing,” Steve says absently.
show me your insides, show me your secrets (show what you wanted, so i can be it)* by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 8,731 | E) *chose not to warn
They took down a lab full of mutated animals today. It was normal enough at first, James with his metal arm and Steve with his shield, the two of them armed to the teeth with guns and knives. But then the creatures kept coming. Steve wrapped himself around a horse-sized something that might have been a wolf in another life and broke every one of its bones with a single, heaving squeeze of his limbs. James punched through the chest of a biped taller than him with his flesh arm and ripped its heart out for good measure.
There was no pretending after that.
James smiles at Steve, a small, heated thing.
“I want you to fuck me until I can’t talk."
“And if I say no?” Steve asks.
James shrugs, and the gesture is nonchalant, but Steve can see the tension underneath.
“Then I will be very disappointed, and I will leave and take my whiskey with me.” James tilts his head to the side, an animal-like motion that’s a strange cross between predatory and adorable. “But somehow, Captain, I don’t think you’ll say no.”
- Captain America and the Winter Soldier are assigned a joint mission by their respective masters. They are strangers until they're not.
Part 1 of lay your heart into my perfect machine
Yours is the Only Ocean by seapigeon (oneshot | 6,256 | T)
"Sirens aren’t monogamous. She’s free to mate with whoever she wants.” Steve turns his head, and for the first time, he looks tentative. “So am I.”
It takes Bucky almost a full minute to understand.
“Oh,” he says, going warm down to his tailfin.
A Puppy Dog's Tale by roe87 (oneshot | 1,630 | T)
Bucky finds a lost puppy running around in the park, but who does the pup belong to?
Part 24 of Steve/Bucky modern au's
a modern feast (from one-hundred-and-two feet) by Spacedog (oneshot | 3,061 | E)
steven grant rogers is a good neighbor. he vacuums at times that aren’t ten-thirty at night. all his parties end at nine on the dot. and when he brings someone home, he’s cool about it. which makes it even more a shame that 106, the guy living across the hall from him, with the big, blue eyes and the adorable chin dimple and the ass steve can bounce quarters off of, is practically a thoughtful, neighborly, ghost.
luckily, when steve needs something from the local bodega, he strikes an agreement that 106 is more than willing to oblige.
(or: alternate universe, neighbors to hookups to lovers.)
some of them want to use you (some of them want to get used by you) by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 14,136 | E)
He’s dragged forward, his thrashing not doing a thing against the hydra’s shocking strength. At its widest, his tentacle is as thick as Bucky’s wrist. It tapers off towards the end. It’s subtly textured, not slimy like expected, but no less terrifying for it. The hydra pauses once Bucky’s under the cave’s opening, halfway between Pierce and the darkness on the other side.
“Johann is dead,” says the hydra. “I killed him.”
The words mean nothing to Bucky. But when he twists around to see, Pierce’s face is bloodless.
It’s the first time he’s seeing true fear on Alexander Pierce’s face.
“The deal you made with him is null and void, Alexander Pierce,” the hydra says. “And your people shall be better off for it.”
Pierce’s face tightens further.
“But you,” the hydra says – no rumbles, his voice making the water tremble. “You, not so much. I don’t appreciate this sacrifice.”
- Bucky is chosen as his shoal's annual sacrifice to the hydra that lurks in their territory. Things take an unexpected turn when the monster that greets him in the dark turns out to be a wholly unfamiliar beast.
Discord and Rhyme by velvetjinx (oneshot | 9,148 | E)
Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are werewolves. They have feelings for each other, but are too busy pining to notice that they both feel the same way. Their inner wolves have had enough, but will that be sufficient to bring them together as humans?
Rose-tinted Glasses by Niitza (oneshot | 11,215 | T)
It all started because of Becca.
All I Want for Christmas by Pineau_noir (oneshot | 8,377 | M)
We're gonna live like it's 2012! Everybody lives at the Tower and they're all happy! All the domestic fluff!
Steve is retired from action, living his best life, helping with the Avengers and gently flirting with his favorite art store employee, Bucky Barnes, at Christmastime.
Written for the incredibly kind and talented TrishArgh who won my 2019 FTH auction.
The Last Contract* by xantissa (oneshot | 29,681 | E) *graphic violence
The world was dying, at war for years with alien invaders who were slowly and methodically wiping out humanity. Steve’s hope for the future was nearly gone having fought a losing battle for so long. In what little free time he had, he looked for the dragon sleeping under an old castle that his mother had told him stories about. He knew it was just a fairytale, but at least it was something to do. He never expected to actually find a man locked in a cave filled with magic. Nor did he expect to agree to some strange bargain with him. Steve had expected him even less to actually be a dragon. In a world all but destroyed, can Steve survive the consequences of his own actions?
Once More With Foresight* by galwednesday (complete | 7,317 | T) *polyamory
Bucky left the towel draped over Steve’s head and pulled his phone out of his pocket when it chimed with a new text from Natasha. She’d sent him a picture of Sam asleep, his legs sprawled over the shield on one end of the couch and his head in her lap on the other. Bucky snorted and tilted the screen so Steve could see.
Steve shook his head, mock scandalized. “Captain America for five minutes, and he’s already using the shield as a footrest.”
“I know for a fact you scrambled eggs in that thing.”
“That was to feed my team, Buck. It was my sworn duty as field commander.”
“It was a dare from Jones.”
“So it was two things,” Steve said, and ducked out of Bucky’s half-hearted noogie attempt, pulling the towel back to use as a defensive barrier. Bucky sat on the couch beside him and leaned into Steve’s shoulder. It was sharper than Bucky remembered; Steve had lost weight since last week. Since five years ago.
If Only In My Dreams by odetteandodile (complete | 28,317 | T)
Bucky is a highly successful cooking and lifestyle blogger, the gay New England Pioneer Woman if you will. He writes all about life in his Connecticut home with his D.H. (darling husband). Only problem? It’s all complete fiction. He actually lives in a shitty Brooklyn apartment, is single as hell, and has visited Connecticut exactly one time at the age of eight.
When his agent Sam informs him that he's been offered an exclusive sponsorship deal with Stark Media and a three book contract to go with it, Bucky's forced to fess up to Sam, who's predictably...displeased. But Sam's also convinced the deal is too good to miss—even if they have to put on a little bit of a show in order to get it.
So Tony and Pepper descend on Bucky and Sam's fake home for Christmas with a devastatingly handsome War Hero in tow, and their already complicated plan quickly gets even more complicated as Bucky finds himself falling head over heels for Steve. Can he keep it together just for the holidays? Did he ever have it together in the first place?
Not Without You* by SevereStorms, wreckingthefinite (complete | 94,402 | E) *graphic violence
Six months earlier, Bucky would have said the prospect of dying back home in Brooklyn sounded like a dream. Now, faced with his own imminent demise in a Brooklyn that is almost unrecognizable, it’s decidedly less appealing.
Honestly, it’s just sort of bizarre. Survive Afghanistan and come home to die in the pseudo-zombie apocalypse. Can’t make this stuff up.
Servitum by justanotherStonyfan (complete | 42,745 | E)
Steve appears in the hallway, and James turns his head to look at him, doesn't move otherwise. Steve’s in pale blue jeans and a white button down with the four buttons open and his tag chain visible beneath, which is sexy as fuck, but it’s even sexier when he towers over James like this.
"James?" Steve says, and he's not worried, James can tell. He's on the edge of it, sure - he's bemused, and prepared for something to be amiss - but he's not worried yet, so James closes his eyes for a moment.
"Help," he says, and then looks up at Steve. "I've fallen and I can't get up."
Part 28 of Honey Honey
Wenceslas by dragongirlG, mcl4r3n (complete | 17,915 | M)
Steve is a short, skinny Brooklynite with a very stable, predictable life, which he built after losing his memories in a traumatic accident six months ago. He works from home on a steady stream of art commissions, goes to weekly trivia nights with his superhero friends the Avengers, and tries not to get bothered by the constant feeling that something is not quite right.
When Steve invites a homeless man with one arm to take shelter in his apartment during a December snowstorm, both of them enter a dreamscape that unravels the fabric of their memories and reveals the truth about their identities—and their relationship to each other.
A wintertime fic featuring dream-sharing, identity porn, and Steve in the 21st century, inspired by the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and the musical composition Wenceslas Suite by Bob Chilcott. Now complete!
Scenes From A Marriage: Captain America At Home by alby_mangroves, lim, Lunate8, RevolutionaryJo, Speranza (complete | 19,239 | E)
Welcome to the 4 Minute Window Advent calendar for 2019! As always, my goal is to tell a little bit of story in this universe each day (knock wood) between the Immaculate Conception and Christmas. Explicit eventually, the rest as it comes. This year there's loads of multimedia, as you might glean from the list of contributors.
Part 16 of 4 Minute Window
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Dragon Ball Z 011
Hot damn! It’s time for Terror on Arlia! This is probably one of the best filler episodes ever. It’s like, the driver’s ed episode, the Goku vs. Pikkon fight, and this. I’m not sure how I’d rank them, but maybe I’ll work on that sometime later.
First off, some time has passed once again since the last episode. Now, Gohan is strong enough that the dinosaur that keeps attacking him is no longer a threat.
Gohan just calmly runs away from it, then jumps right before he runs into a boulder, and the dinosaur hits it instead.
Then he hacks off a piece of the dinosaur’s tail while it’s stunned. Again. Gohan’s apparently been doing this for a while now, and he warns the dinosaur that it’ll run out of tail at the rate they’re going. The message is simple: Don’t eat Gohan’s friends.
Gohan has also figured out how to make his own ki blasts, which is pretty high-level stuff. His ki may only be powerful enough to start a fire, but it’s way more than most of the other characters could have done at age four.
Meanwhile, Bulam, Krillin, and Yamcha are looking for Tien and Chiaotzu. Or maybe they’re just talking about looking for them now that they have Yamcha. I’m pretty sure the Gohan scenes are taking place over the course of several weeks, while these Z-Warrior scenes are supposed to be playing out over the course of a single day. Even if it really is taking this long to find Tien, why would Krillin and Yamcha be with her for the whole search? They’d be better off heading to Kami’s Lookout, so they can start training for the Saiyans.
Speaking of Tien, Launch is on the run from the cops for stealing a bunch of money for Tien.
She eludes the police with a grenade launcher.
So she escapes with the loot. Most of it anyway, a lot spilled out of the back while she was being chased.
But never mind that, here comes Vegeta. He and Nappa are on their way to Earth, and they set their space pods to put them in stasis for the year-long journey, but Vegeta programmed it to wake them up at a certain point along the way, so they could get out and stretch their legs.
Seems he found a planet along their course for Earth, and since the Saiyans conquer planets to sell for profit, he sees this as a way to make some nice profit on the side. This seems a bit out of character for Vegeta, given what we learn about him later on. I would think that the Planet Trade business is just something he puts up with until he can find a way to get out of it. So it’s not that he wouldn’t want to take a pit stop on the way to Earth, but I doubt it would be to score some extra cash.
Anyway, Nappa just wants to get out of the pod and move around a bit, so he’s up for anything.
And here’s the lucky planet they’re going to. It’s called Arlia, and it looks really crappy, even from a distance. There was an episode of Mythbusters where they tested the futility of polishing a turd, and it ended up with them making piles of dung into spheres. That’s what Arlia looks like.
The planet actually manages to look even worse up close. I don’t know if the boys meant to set down in a desolate area like this, but I always got the impression that most of the planet looks like this, so they didn’t have much choice. Vegeta concedes that they probably won’t find a buyer for Arlia after all. I figure this is the sort of planet a Space Trillionaire would buy, but only because he wants to feel like a Space Quadrillionaire.
Suddenly these big bug people show up. I don’t know why they’re so much bigger than Nappa, when the rest of the Arlians we see are not. There’s a lot we don’t know about the Arlians, and we’ll probably never know. They threaten to arrest the Saiyans and take them to King Moai.
Nappa’s eager to fight them, but Vegeta orders him to stand down for the moment, since he wants to see this Moai guy for himself. I guess he figures the planets’ leader would be in a more advance (read: valuable) location, which would give Vegeta a better idea of what Arlia has to offer.
Notable, this is the first indication of Saiyans using telepathy. Goku uses it later on, and we’ve already seen Master Roshi, Crane Hermit, Korin, and Kami use it, but it always seemed to be this mystical thing that only wise old martial artists could do. Oh yeah, and King Piccolo could telepathically communicate with his offspring.
I guess what I find interesting about this instance is that Vegeta uses it rather casually, when he could just as easily whisper to Nappa, or maybe use some nonverbal gesture to get his point across. The point here may be to indicate just how scary-powerful Vegeta is, but the thing about Vegeta is that anything we see him do can be applied to every other Saiyan character. If Master Roshi can read minds, it sort of stops there. If Vegeta can communicate telepathically, that means Nappa, Raditz, Goku, and Gohan can too, along with every other Saiyan character that hasn’t been introduced yet. Vegeta might be the only one who knows how at this point, but that’s just a matter of skill.
So here’s Moai’s stronghold, and guess what, it’s also a dump. I’m not complaining about the artwork, mind you. This scenery is breathtaking. The twin suns sort of make this look like a face, with the clouds forming a furrowed brow. It’s like the Arlians’ god is looking down on the castle, and he’s not happy with what he’s seeing.
Also, while Moai’s fortress looks moderately impessive, it’s surrounded by absolutely nothing. What happened on this planet? My guess is that it was ruined by centuries of war, but it’s also possible that the Arlians prefer it like this.
Vegeta and Nappa are taken to a dungeon, which looks like something from a Prince Valiant comic. This is the paradox of Arlia, because it looks like the Arlians are generally familiar with alien visitors, implying that they’ve been exposed to advanced technologies, but their own world is backward and medieval. They don’t even seem interested in the Saiyans’ ships or their scouters. And they lock them up behind a wooden gate. And why do they carry swords when they all seem to have some sort of red mouth laser?
While they wait, the Saiyans meet Atla, one of the native Arlians who’s been imprisoned by Moai. Well, “meet” may not be the right word. Atla just starts introducing himself and explaining the backstory while they stand silently and face in his general direction.
From Atla’s words, it sounds to me like Moai took over the planet fairly recently, perhaps after a long civil war that killed anyone more qualified to rule. Unconcerned with actually governing his people, Moai just does whatever he pleases, using his unlimited power to enforce his whims. So there’s a good chance that the planet looks like a dump because of his indifference.
I dig this sort of thing, because it reminds me of the decline of the Western Roman Empire, where the emperors eventually became little more than figureheads backed by strong military leaders. Over time, the Roman armies became supplemented by foreign mercenaries, until eventually the top generals were all foreign mercenaries, and eventually they just dispensed with the figureheads and started ruling Italy outright. I get the impression that the emperors didn’t particularly care that their domain was being usurped by outsiders, because as long as they were comfortable in their palaces then everything was fine.
There’s kind of a similar pattern in the Bible, where you see David and Solomon’s descendants slowly letting the Kingdom of Israel decline. Rehoboam’s arrogance caused the kingdom to split in two, and while there were a few good kings who embraced piety and reform, a lot of wicked kings abandoned the principles that made their reigns possible. They worshipped idols and did whatever they liked, and then eventually they found themselves surrounded by powerful enemies. The later kings were reduced to vassals, but they didn’t seem too concerned about that as long they got to sit in their palaces and pretend everything was okay.
Atla laments that now Moai is capturing space aliens on top of oppressing his own people, which suggests that Moai only sees his rule as a right to oppress other people for his own amusement.
I wrote about this episode some time back, comparing Arlia to Westeros from Game of Thrones, or A Song of Ice and Fire or whatever the hell it’s supposed to be called. I’ve never read the books because I need that time to liveblog anime, but everything I’ve heard about it suggests that the whole story is about some backwater planet full of medieval fantasy tropes, and all the leaders are corrupt, venal idiots who only stay in charge because they’re protected by bullshit laws and traditions, or because they’re better at the endless palace intrigue that goes on in the story. There’s one kingdom that was ruled by a Draco Malfoy clone, and another run by a guy who hunts naked women for sport, and I think some character keeps fetuses in jars for no apparent reason. I get the impression that a lot of the books is just George R.R. Martin trying to use shock value to pad things out. That and lore. If Tom Clancy and Howard Stern co-wrote Lord of the Rings, you might have something pretty similar to Game of Thrones.
What I’m trying to say here is that Moai seems to just sit around all day watching his subjects fight each other for his own amusment. He forced Atla’s betrothed, Lemlia, to be his queen (she’s the pink bug lady in the back), and he has soldiers just roaming the wastelands in search of new prisoners to mess with. His men captured real live space aliens and he’s like “Oh goody! Bring them before me, because I actually believe they’ll respect the idiotic rules that keep me in power.” I’m pretty sure this is exactly what King Draco Malfoy Clone would do in this situation.
He looks and talks and acts like a complete buffoon, and he’s just begging for some hero to come along and punch him in the mouthparts. Except Atla’s in the dungeon, and some other, more competent hero must have gotten killed off three books ago (cf. A Sleet of Testicles).
And this is what I love about this episode. Vegeta (along with Nappa, of course) are sort of being put into this role of traveling heroes who enter a tyrant’s domain and set things right. They’re certainly powerful enough to do it, but we already know that’s not what they’re here for.
Vegeta kills all the gladiators and informs Moai that he only let himself be captured just to get this close to the king. It astonishes me that Moai needs to have this explained to him. He’s so used to having his own way that it never dawned on him that anyone could use his arrogance against him.
Nappa strikes his classic pose and kills all the guards.
Then Moai summons an even bigger bug creature named Yedi. Nappa asks permission from Vegeta to handle this one, which I think is a nice touch.
Nappa rips off Yedi’s finger and licks the monster blood off his face. Nappa’s awesome. He’s just havin’ a good old time.
I forget why now, but rocks start falling, probably because Vegeta’s powers cause the ceiling to break apart. Moai takes cover behind his throne...
...but a rock ends up killing him anyway. I woudn’t think that’s a vital area, but what do I know about Arlian anatomy? It’s kind of fitting that Moai should die like this, in his own throne room/gladiator arena, cowering behind his throne. He thought it would protect him like it always had done in the past, but in the end he met a power that didn’t respect anything he had accomplished. The Saiyans ignored his royal robes and saw only a fool, and so he died a fool.
Atla shows up and praises the Saiyans or liberating his planet from Moai’s tyranny. You know, he could have followed them up here and helped out. They were all in the same cell, and Vegeta and Nappa destroyed the door and killed all the guards, so what took him so long?
The Saiyans just sort of look at him, and then they get back in their spaceships.
I’m not sure why they even bother flying across the surface. Maybe they’re still surveying the planet, but it’s a crappy planet no matter what angle you view it from. At last, Vegeta gives up and they head back into space.
But before they leave, he gets out of his ship and decides to leave a going-away present. How does Vegeta breathe in space? That’s one way you can tell which ones are filler scenes. They usually play faster and looser with this sort of thing.
On the surface, Atla and Lemlia are reunited at last, and it looks like everything’s going to be okay from now on, thanks to those two heroic aliens who...
LOL JK, Vegeta blew up the whole planet.
What’s so great about this is that Arlia kind of deserved to die. Not in the strictest narrative sense, but from a metanarrative viewpoint, it was just a really dumb planet. Any world that could fall under Moai’s rule probably didn’t have much longer to live anyway, and it’s almost like Vegeta put it out of it’s misery. I’m not suggesting any of this rationalizes Vegeta’s actions. This is a horrible, horrible crime, and Vegeta did it like it was nothing to him. He’s done far worse things with even less compunction.
Even so, he’s not Arlia’s villain, he’s Dragon Ball’s villain, so it’s just satisfying to watch him squash some crappy filler planet that had no redeeming value to the story. It’s like watching your favorite bad guy wrestler clobber your least favorite good guy wrestler.
And the narrator sums it up very neatly. This is what’s headed for Earth. The Saiyans destroyed Arlia like it was nothing, and what can Earth do to avoid a similar fate? Z stands for The End.
But not yet. Not yet.
#dragon ball#2019dbliveblog#vegeta#nappa#goku#launch#gohan#bulma#krillin#yamcha#moai#atla#lemlia#yedi#dragon ball z#saiyans saga
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Sam Waller Interview
Sam Waller co-runs, the UK based Central Library, “a shop in the North West of England that sells zines, DVDs and other interesting bits and pieces.” He’s also part of the current resurgence of quality independent BMX media with his Red Steps magazine. In addition to that he finds the time to contribute to Challenger with his quarterly column, ‘Notes From A Fancy Island’ and of course, ride. And, when you talk to Sam, you can tell that riding reigns supreme.
Sam and I email back and forth fairly often because of the column but also about other random stuff like old spots, concrete skateparks, music, etc. It’s fun to email with Sam so I figured it would also be fun to ask Sam some more in-depth questions. Hit the link below for the full interview.
All photos by Gaz Hunt. Thanks, Gaz!
I know you live in Manchester, England now but where did you grow up and what is your BMX origin story? I grew up in the complete middle of nowhere in a place called Colton in the south of the Lake District. Whilst the countryside in film and television is often shown as a tranquil, quaint place, the reality is a fair bit different, and Colton in particular seemed like a hotbed for strange stuff going on. Only recently a large farmhouse was burned down by a wild woman who owned loads of pigs. She was exiled from the county, but the pigs remained to cause havoc.
Anyway, my older brother has played guitar since he was six or seven, but as I was a useless at it and couldn’t get my hands to move properly, I felt obliged to find a similar all-encompassing past-time.
I was mad on Formula 1 racing for a while (thoughts go out to the Schumacher family), and I went to a karate lesson once (a hobby quickly scrapped after the whole hour was spent being taught how to bow honourably), but up until the age of 12 or 13 it just felt like I was dawdling about.
All of this changed when, for some reason I’m not entirely sure of, me and my friends decided to make some jumps and drops and stuff to ride on our mountain bikes in some woods near a dual carriageway.
One of my friends knew some older lads from nearby who had proper bikes and Little Devil hoodies, so I think they must have planted the seed of raditude with him, but I think at that time I was just happy to be out the house and not playing Tekken 2. We later found out that the woodland we’d chosen was a popular dogging site frequented by truck drivers (I'm not sure if 'dogging' exists in America - maybe look it up), and quickly moved our spades and everything into another forest. By that point the damage was done and my mind was snagged.
After a bit of bouncing about on a mountain bike, I then splashed out on a second hand Standard that someone had painted post-box red, affixed some stunt nubs and never looked back (or lookbacked, for that matter).
The nearby town of Ulverston had a pretty big riding and skating scene, but thinking now about us lot trying to lay down ‘street style’ in this small historic market town, we may as well have been the Jamaican bobsleigh team — the rough ledges were strictly for stalls, and the closest thing to a flatbank was a grass verge round the back of a Texaco garage.
What were some of your biggest inspirations as a kid and what about now? I always think about how the 16 year old me would probably make fun of some of the things I'm into now. Is that the case with you at all? Apart from the receding hairline and the slight increase in responsibilities, I think I’ve stayed pretty much exactly the same since I was 16. Back then I think my favourite film was probably Natural Born Killers, and my favourite album was maybe something like Bad Moon Rising by Sonic Youth. Whilst I’ve maybe expanded my interests a little, I’ve pretty much been in a rut since then.
I’m not into memes or internet humour in the slightest, but I remember someone once showing me a video of a wrestling fan in America crying and shouting, “It’s still real to me, dammit.” That’s how I feel about a lot of things I was into back then. A lot of people who I went to school with moved on from being into music and films and pissing around on bikes, whilst I’m still snagged on it all, listening to The Minutemen and wearing check shirts. It’s pretty stupid really.
What's The Fancy Island? Good question. Just next to Strangeways prison and only a mere stone’s throw from Manchester’s slick centre, lies a true rat-pit of questionable activity. I’ve seen loads of stuff happen here, such as an aggressive man chase a prostitute with a two-by-four and a creep lying in an alley trying to lure small boys into his lair.
In amongst all this, there’s loads of naff wholesale shops that sell everything from low-end Halloween costumes to fake Air Jordans made out of cardboard and fuzzy felt. All these shops have mad names like EEZZEE and Vibe Centre.
Getting to the point now, coming up with titles for things is pretty difficult, so a few years ago when I was cobbling together a zine, I nicked the name Urban Mist from one of these shops, and then, when I went to set up a Tumblr during the carefree pre-Instragram era, I nabbed ‘Fancy Island’ from a similar establishment.
I think Fancy Island has closed down now, but it’s no doubt been replaced with yet another shop with a daft name selling cheap batteries and t-shirts with swear words on the front.
Whilst I’m explaining names, I’ll state that Red Steps is a classic spot in Manchester that I ride past on my way to work every day. It boasts a rusty, needle-thin flatrail, a few small stair-sets (that are indeed red) and a large flow of gormless students to crash into. I’m not too sure why I named a magazine after it, but it just struck me as a funny name for a spot and I was struggling to think of anything else.
One thing I struggle with is balancing how to take BMX seriously while balancing a sense of humor about it as well; i.e. it's pretty goofy but is also this amazing vehicle for new experiences, ideas, and a pretty incredible community. Do you ever think about this? Like with most things in life (except crucial necessities like eating and breathing), riding bikes is pretty stupid and abstract if you try and think about it too hard. That said, I don’t see why bike riding should look goofy (apart from actual goofy-footed grinding - as a self-confessed goofy grinder myself I’ve got a lot of time for George D, Ralph and Dave McDermott) — riding is loads better than pretty much all other activities, but it’s constantly being made to look daft, when it could so easily look dope.
I think to stay juiced and not turn sour, you’ve got to completely ignore most things going on with riding and stick firmly to the bits that you like. I treat riding like music or films or anything else. In the same way I don’t go to the cinema to watch big summer blockbusters, I don’t spend my free time watching Corey Martinez edits or endless hours of footage from some zany mega-comp.
I’m a simple man. As far as riding is concerned, I like smith grinds, bottles of Heineken, Galaxy chocolate, black and white photos, sitting on benches and talking complete nonsense. The rest of it is irrelevant to me.
I constantly hear/read people complain about the lack of BMX magazines but there's so much cool stuff being printed right now. We've discussed this in email a bit but it seems weird that people are complaining. It's almost like people just have an idea of what they think a magazine should be and if it doesn't have look or read a certain way they are just confused. How do you feel about all of this? A solid group of people do buy things and support these independent projects and whatnot, but I think it’ll take a while for the loud-mouthed Instagram warlords to come to terms with the fact that the new magazines around might have different names to the ones they used to subscribe to 15 years ago. I suppose it’s maybe easier to talk about the lack of magazines out there than actually go to the effort of seeking them out, but having said that, it’s not exactly hard to find stuff these days.
I remember years ago hunting down anything beyond Dig or Ride was an absolute hassle involving a lot of e-mail mither and blind faith - but now with yourself, Berks St. and 90East stocking interesting stuff in America, me and Clarky doing Central Library over here and the newly formulated Wiretap down under, it’s easier than ever for anyone to get their hands on zines and DVDs and all that.
The new stuff that’s coming out now is ten times better than Dig or Ride ever were anyway. Endless contest reports and dull bike checks have fallen by the wayside, and I haven’t seen a photo of Jimmy Levan’s zebra-print leggings in years. Things are really looking up.
What do you do for work? Thoughts on pursuing money via BMX and also what's the best job you've ever had? By day I work in an office writing stuff for a clothes shop. As you can imagine, trying to come up with an interesting way to talk about the 659th blue shirt you’ve seen this week can get a bit tough, but I can’t complain too much really. The office is fairly warm and there’s a kettle in the kitchen.
As for pursuing ‘serious wonga’ via riding, I’m one step ahead of you. Central Library has just received big investment from Duncan Bannatyne and Deborah Meaden (of Dragon’s Den fame), meaning we’re finally able to stock all those bizarre Caramac-coloured tyres that real bike shops seem to stock. We’re also expanding our print line to offer crime fiction and the Goosebumps novels. My main aim in life is to become one of those creepy industry characters who spends their time sniffing around young and naïve talent in the hopes of flogging a few ‘dad caps’.
My finest job was probably working for my dad in the family trade of dry stone walling (which explains my surname). I’m not sure if dry stone walls exist in America, but they’re those fairly humble looking stone walls you see dividing up the fields and forests around the English countryside.
Anyway, building them isn’t too bad as far as manual labour goes. When it’s raining and you’re miles up some hill wallowing in the mud lugging big stones around with nothing more for lunch than a chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle and a Penguin biscuit, then it’s a little miserable – but on a good day when the sun is shining and you’re working with ‘good stone’, it’s hard to beat.
The best days were when my dad would fall asleep just a few minutes before the end of the lunch hour, basically extending the break for at least another 45 minutes. Thinking about this job now, I’m not sure why I ever gave it up.
Do you have any other hobbies besides riding? Yeah, but I’d say the lines were pretty blurred. This is maybe a pretty boring answer, but I suppose riding lends itself to other hobbies pretty well. I might be wrong, but I don’t think keen swimmers or budding javelin-throwers get into photography or making videos in quite the same way. It’s sort of like the ‘pillars of hip-hop’ or something – riding, taking pictures, messing round with video stuff and generally snooping around all fits together nicely (or at least it does in my peppered mind).
It’s not like I’m slipping on my Etnies t-shirt for my weekly two hour power sesh and then the next night I’m wearing some short-shorts down at the climbing wall. Even when I’m on holiday with my wife, I’m still just snooping around the same way - we’re not buying tickets for some naff rollercoaster or dining out at exclusive restaurants with Abe Froman.
Are you able to take time off of riding and not feel like you're missing out or feel guilty? I have one friend who really goes in on the guilt tripping if I don't ride. Related: You said you like sitting on benches. Can you do that on a nice day? At the age of 28, I’d like to feel like I can just about deal with a few missed sessions. Obviously I still need a comprehensive run down of spots seshed and feats accomplished when I’m away, but it’d be mad if I was out all the time. The human body can’t handle that much raditude.
Fear of things going un-photographed does creep in sometimes, but Clarky will have filmed it anyway, and Gaz and Wozzy are better photographers than me, so if they’re about then hopefully someone caught the action.
Moving onto the subject of benches, these babies really come into play during my dinner break at work. I get on fine with everyone there, but when the clock strikes twelve I’m not going to be sat in the office spilling reheated chilli over my keyboard… I’m straight out into the city centre on full sit-off mode – hopefully getting into some daft conversation with one of Manchester’s many vagabonds.
A few months ago I was sat in town when I was approached by a fairly scruffy gentleman who was bleeding loads from his forehead after someone kneed him in the skull. The rest of my lunch break was spent trying to sort him out a bit. One meal deal, some wet wipes and a pack of king-skins later, he seemed alright. You don’t get these hijinks sat inside all day.
I was just thumbing through the new Red Steps (nice job) and I just realized how much I enjoy your interviews -- what is it that you like about interviews? Not trying to stroke the ego here but you are really good at it... Cheers. Any ego strokes are much appreciated. This maybe sounds a bit daft, but I want to know everything. This is probably evident to the people who know me, but I’m a complete mither, completely hassling everyone with questions all the time.
This pesky nature extends into everything, meaning that I spend a lot of time reading a lot of interviews about the things that I’m into. I buy a lot of old copies of magazines like Wire, Ray Gun and Sidewalk on eBay, and even though the interviews contained within those pages might have been conducted in the corner of a pub maybe 25 years ago, they’re still worth reading today.
A proper interview with a little intro and some photos laid out nicely on a page… it’s mint – it’s a finished thing – sort of like a well-edited video or something. I know a lot of people are into ‘podcasts’ these days, and that’s fair enough, but to me – they’re not complete enough. I don’t want to hear people say ‘um’ and ‘err’ all the time, and I want something sick to look at (and by that, I don’t mean a load of pundits sat around a table with headphones on).
I’m going to rattle on here whilst I’ve got the chance. Anyone reading this who gets the opportunity to answer questions for an interview, a ‘bike check’ or anything else…don’t just write a lazy sentence for each answer – go mad. Tell some funny stories. Or if you’ve got nothing to say, just make something up. No one cares about how responsive your headtube angle is or how you ‘usually just cut the bars down’. This could be your only chance to air your thoughts into the wider world, and you’re going on about what PSI you put in your tyres? COME ON PLEASE TRY HARDER YOU BORING GIMPS.
(above) Spread from Sam’s zine, Latvia Photos. (below) Cover of Sam’s zine, Around Town.
You also make photo zines/books not related to riding. Do you have any high art aspirations with this stuff? No real aspirations I’m afraid. Wine gives me bad heartburn, so I generally try and swerve anything resembling a gallery opening schmooze-off. As I was sort of saying before, making photo zines is just an extension of everything else. I like taking photographs, so it makes sense to put them together. It’s all pretty small-time really – it’s not like I’m getting thousands printed.
To be honest, it’s all a complete faff that I could easily avoid by not bothering and just sitting around watching American power-dramas, but it’s good to have stuff to look back on – even if it’s just a 40 page zine that nine people will see.
Crouching under a tattered old curtain processing rolls of film every night whilst being mithered by my cat isn’t particularly glamorous and I’d imagine there are probably easier ways to get cosy with the artistic elite.
What's your favorite slang word? Going back to my walling days, my dad uses some pretty intriguing slang terms. Unlike inner-city slang, which will usually be documented in music or useless BBC3 comedies, these more rustic words don’t get much recognition. I don't use these terms myself, but I certainly respect them. Here’s a few choice cuts…
“A few skins on the job” – a large workforce “Keitel” – a fairly humble work-jacket “Bait” – lunch “Bray it – hit it “Kessen” – when an unclipped sheep falls over onto its back and can’t get up due to its weight. This happens more often than you’d think.
You can buy scoop up a copy of Sam’s magazine, Red Steps, in the Challenger web shop here, look at the online shop, The Central Library, that Sam runs with Clarky here, and check out some of his other photo zines/books here.
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Suposed to be babysitting, not falling for you all over again
So @harryanddracoarehusbands, I’m your @drarryexchange santa. This is like my 3rd Harry Potter fanfiction, the second one I really wanted to finish, so I really hope this one is up to par and I hope you like it. Merry Christmas
Draco didn’t know what he was doing here. After his mother divorced his father – finally in his opinion, he was glad to be free of that man – she re-established connections with her other sister, the aunt Draco never knew. He barely knew his cousins, Sirius and Tonks before they died but he did know Tonks’ husband. He had been a teacher at his school and as much as he complained about it, Remus was an extremely good teacher. He knew that his aunt had lost a lot, her husband, daughter and son-in-law and was only left with her grandson. He didn’t realise that his mother had offered him up as a babysitter whenever she needed.
Draco wasn’t good with babies, toddlers he could deal with but babies? What was his mother thinking?
In attempts to keep her spirits up, his mother proposed a weekend trip down to the Black family lake house.
“It was your favourite place to be. You used to beg mother and father to let us go there during holidays. And I don’t seem to remember any bad memories lingering there.” She said, pretty much convincing her sister to go.
“I can’t believe your making me do this. I have no experience with babies!” Draco complained, opening the passenger side door and going around to the boot of the car to drag out his suitcase and bag.
“Darling, you need to spend some time with your cousin. I plan on keeping in contact with Andromeda because quite honestly, I prefer her to your Aunty Bella.” Narcissa said, walking around to meet her son as he fixed his bags so they’d be easier to carry in.
“Mother, anyone would prefer a rabid dog to Aunty Bella.” Draco stated
“Be that as it may, you never grew up with your cousins and I’m upset that after I married your father I didn’t try reaching out. Your aunt needs this week Dragon, and I want to be able to talk to her again. I’ve missed her greatly.”
He couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. He never realise how badly his mother had it until he was a teenager. After he swore he’d do whatever possible to keep his mother happy and if that meant having to babysit, he’d do it.
“I understand. Shall we?�� he asked, holding out his arm for his mother.
“My little gentlemen. Now I’ve told Andromeda that your experience with babies is not good, so she said she’s invite Teddy’s godfather to help.”
“Godfather?”
“He’s the same age as you. He was practically Remus’ godson as well, so it was no surprise he asked him to be Teddy’s godfather.”
Draco was curious, but he could deal with strangers. The reached to door and after ringing the doorbell, the door swung open revealing a woman bearing a close rebalance to his Aunt Bella but her hair was brown instead of black and her eyes were much kinder.
“Narcissa, Draco, so good to see you.” Andromeda said
“You as well. Are you ready for the trip?” her sister asked
“As I’ll ever be. Please, come in, come in.” she let the two blond family members in, leading them out of the entry way and into the house. Draco could hear laughing coming from the living room. “Draco, I hope you don’t mind I invited Teddy’s godfather to help you? I didn’t want you getting flustered.”
“It’s fine. Thank you for thinking of me.”
“I think the two of you will get along well. Harry dear, my sister and nephew are here. Bring Teddy so I can introduce you.” She called.
As he heard movement, Draco’s mind went to the only Harry he ever knew. The git he went to school with who he could never get along with, no matter he quietly wished he could.
It was like every force in the universe converged for this to happen, because out, holding Teddy securely, was Harry Potter.
“Potter?”
“Malfoy?”
The two sisters looked at the two boys back and forth.
“Do you two know each other?” Andromeda asked
“We, uh, went to school together. I didn’t know you were related.” Harry said, still staring down Draco
“Yes my sister and nephew. Draco here offered to babysit Teddy while we sisters have a weekend to ourselves.”
‘Great so not only do I have to take care of a baby, it has to be with Potter as well. I did not ask for this!’
It seemed like no time at all that his aunt’s bags were in the car and Draco gave one last hug to his mother before the pair of sisters were off, leaving Draco with his cousin and Potter. He hadn’t seen him since they graduated and last he heard, he went straight into working, while Draco went off to college. He had forgotten about him, pushing him to the back of his mind, trying to forget what he ever felt for him. But now, it was all gonna come rushing back, he knew it. He was tempted just too hid in his room, but he was sure Potter would say something to his aunt and he was trying to be nice and help his mother out as well. He took a deep breath and went back downstairs, where Potter was playing with Teddy on the floor on a blanket.
Teddy was a nice kid, minus his odd hair. His mother had a love for dying her hair and when giving him a bath, apparently she accidently grabbed a bottle of hair dye that was in a shampoo bottle, giving him his slightly green hair that grew. Poor Tonks had been a panicked mess, Andromeda explained, but was reassure that it could grow out or at the very least they could dye it back when he was older. It was just the fact that he was a baby, fragile crying baby that scared Draco. Letting himself get shown up by Potter had his competitiveness brimming under his skin but honestly, he’d let Potter take the lead on this. He was completely out of his comfort zone.
“Look Teddy, who’s that?” Draco watched Potter lift his cousin into his arms, pointing at Draco. Draco was given a gummy smile in return, one hand reaching out trying to reach for him. “Wanna go to Draco?”
That was weird, hearing Potter call him by his first name. He only remembered after they graduated and everyone was saying their goodbyes, Potter came and shook his hand, telling him, “It was good knowing you.” He wasn’t sure what to make of that, but he was so sure that would be the last time he saw him. Now look.
“You wanna hold him Malfoy?”
Draco shook his head. “I’m not good with babies.”
He got a confused look for that statement. “But you were asked to babysit?”
Looking embarrassed, Draco looked away from the confused look. “Because my mother offered me up. She wanted a chance to reconnect with her and that includes me connecting with them, hence why I’m here.” He dared a glance at Potter who had this look on his face. “What?”
“Nothing, it’s just. I’m surprised that you’d do this for your mother. You must really love her.”
Deciding to actually go in the living room, Draco plopped down on the couch near Harry. “My father isn’t exactly the best person to be around and I didn’t realise it until I was a teenager. I just like trying to make her happy.” He didn’t know why he was telling this to Potter but everything just seemed to be flowing out.
“I’m sure she appreciates it. And I know Teddy wants to be with Draco, don’t you? Ahh, no Teddy!” he scolded when Teddy decided he’d rather have his glasses instead, pulling them partially off the moment he was lifted near Potter’s head. Draco couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “I see that you’re entertained. I could just leave you with him.” he gave him a smug smirk at Draco’s panicked look. “That’s what I thought. I’m not doing all of this by myself, so I hope you’re ready to learn.”
“Potter, I hope you remember I beat your bushy haired friend in exams. You are the last person I expect to be taught by.”
“But you can’t change a diaper or make a bottle can you.” Draco’s silence said it all. “Look, seeing each other after all this time is definitely odd but we’re both here because we want to help, so we might as well try and forget about any things from before. Hi, I’m Harry Potter, nice to meet you.”
Draco looked down at the hand that was stuck out; reminding him of the first time he met him. It didn’t end well and was the start of their rivalry. Part of him was tempted to do the same thing Harry-god, he even started to change how he called him in his head- had done to him when they met, but it was time to put the past behind him. And hopefully that meant all of the past and not some crush that part of him still held on to.
“Draco Lucius Malfoy.” Draco replied shaking Harry’s hand.
“That’s a mouthful.”
“I’m just being polite, something you obviously never learned.”
“Hilarious.” Harry drawled
It looked like they couldn’t do away with old habits in a minute.
Teddy didn’t seem to care. His attention was to Draco and he lifted his arms, little hands clenching in attempts to reach the blond. Harry took one look at him before depositing him on Draco’s lap.
“Potter! What do you think you’re doing?”
“He wants to be with you. Might as well learn what to do now. Who knows if the next time your mum wants to go out with her sister I might not be here to help. Now, stay here. It’s been a while since he’s eating so he’s probably hungry. Make sure he doesn’t fall off your lap.”
Harry disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Draco floundering as Teddy started squirming in his lap.
‘I’m doing this for mother; I’m doing this for mother.’ It was a baby, how hard could it be?
Very hard. In school, he and Granger, Harry’s bushy haired friend, had been extremely competitive when it came to who came out on top in academics and he and Harry would battle it out on the football field during matches. He liked proving he was good at what he was doing, but the babysitting thing, Draco was ready to concede defeat.
Teddy liked everyone, Draco could tell that, but when he didn’t like something, he let the whole world know.
“What am I doing wrong?” Draco asked, frazzled as Teddy cried his head off when Draco was trying to get used to holding him.
“He might need his diaper changed.” Harry said
“But he just ate!”
“He’s a baby Draco, food goes through them really quickly.”
He would usually push away any help people tried to offer him when he was struggling but he was grabbing on to every bit of advice and help Harry was giving him. Maybe it was because he was getting the chance to be close with Harry that he always wanted that he was willing to take whatever chance he got. But a small part of him wanted Harry to see him as capable.
“You might want to show him something to distract him, he can squirm away really quickly.” Harry said, pulling out the wet wipes, cream and a new diaper as they stood in front of the changing table in Teddy’s nursery
“Like what?”
“I usually show him something on my phone. Or distract him with a toy.”
The first thing Draco thought of was his newest animation video. He had been attending school for animation and was doing a small series about a small dragon. He pulled up the video and handed it over to Harry so he could show Teddy before pulling Teddy’s pants off. As he was starting to open the diaper he realised that Harry was looking at the video.
“Did you make this?” Harry asked
“Yes?”
“It’s really good. I remembered that you drew but I never realised how good you were.”
The comment tested Draco on how well he could keep the red from reaching his cheeks.
“The video is for Teddy, start it over and show it to him and do not drop my phone on him.”
Harry did what he was told, making sure to instruct Draco on what to do. Teddy was thankfully enamoured with the little dragon cartoon he was watching. When he was fully changed, he went grabbing for Draco’s phone.
“Looks like you have a new fan.” Harry said, handing Draco his phone back, once Teddy was secure in his arms. “Are you hungry? Andromeda said we could order whatever we want. There’s a really good pizza place not far from here.”
“That’s fine.”
Draco was able to manoeuvre washing his hands while still holding Teddy while Harry disappeared into the kitchen and took the time to breathe.
“Your godfather is going to drive me insane by the end of this weekend, I can tell.” He said to Teddy who just looked at him before trying to reach for his phone again. Draco sat themselves down on the couch and adjusted his hold on Teddy so he was leaning against Draco’s chest and could see the screen.
“You’re getting better at that.” Harry said, the menu for the pizza place in his hands.
“Not as good as you.” Harry was exceptionally good with Teddy. It was nice seeing Harry dote over Teddy whenever Draco couldn’t calm him down.
“Only because I spent so much time with him when he was born. He’s really easy to please though, aren’t you Ted?”
Draco could feel himself smiling at the sight. He liked watching Harry with Teddy. Harry was such a natural with kids that Draco was sure he’d be an amazing father.
‘And maybe an amazing boy-no, nope, stop it Draco. Enough of that.’
“So pizza, what are we getting?”
“I hope you like Zizi’s. They don’t deliver so I’d have to get an Uber down there. Think you’d be ok with Teddy or do you want to go get the food.”
Just that sentence sparked the old competitiveness in Draco. It sounded like a challenge even though he knew it was a genuine question.
“I can do it. And I want King Prawn pasta or Margherita pizza, take your pick.”
“You sure?”
“Yes Potter, go. We’ll be just fine.” He hoped.
Thankfully Teddy was easy to deal with after Harry left to go pick up the food.
“I tried forgetting how I felt about him, but your godfather can leave quiet an impression. It’s almost infuriating how I still can’t stand him but I still want the chance to be with him. I guess babysitting you was pretty good after all though.” Draco said, as Teddy lay on Draco’s stomach, his eyes drooping at the sound of Draco’s voice. “I hope I’m not boring you talking about my crush. If my mother wants to spend more time, I’m probably going to have to see you more often. It won’t be so bad. You’re actually rather easy to take care of, thank goodness. I hope you won’t hate me for wanting to see Harry more because of you.”
Teddy made a humming noise as he drifted off to sleep, cuddled up close on Draco’s chest. Draco dropped his phone next to him and gently wrapped his arms around Teddy. He had been apprehensive earlier, but he could see just how Harry could love spending time with him. He also realised something, he couldn’t move. “Great, I’m not with Nova and yet I still end up with a creature on me that’ll complain if I move him.” he said, thinking about his British Longhair who was staying with Pansy for the weekend. “You’re lucky I like you.”
Teddy just let out a little snore before dozing back off.
“I can’t believe he’s there though. I mean, Mum told me that Malfoy was related to them, but I never thought he’d be babysitting. It’s just, I can’t.”
Harry listened to Ginny talking on the other end of the phone as he waited in the nearby Zizi’s for his order. They were almost done, just waiting for the pizza.
“I know. Trust me I was surprised to.”
“And I’m sure many other things, hot and bothered maybe?”
“Gin!” even though he and Ginny no longer dated, they were still good friends. It helped that he was practically a Weasley. After Ginny found out about Harry’s small – she said gigantic but it wasn’t that bad – crush on Draco Malfoy, she would tease him and push him at every chance she got. After they graduated he never expected to see him again. But lo and behold, there Draco was, ready to help take care of Teddy. It was interesting putting their differences behind them and get along, though they still fell back into their usual arguments. Maybe that was something he loved, being able to just go at it but in good fun. He was learning so much about Draco while watching him with Teddy. But still, “I don’t think he thinks of me that way.”
“You’ve got a whole weekend, maybe longer if his mom wants longer with her sister and they have fun up wherever they are. I say take advantage of it, get to know him the way you couldn’t in school. You don’t have the pressures of school so you can be as flirty with him as you want. I insist upon it.”
“I thought you didn’t like him.”
“You like him and that’s all that matters. Harry, other than me and that really awkward relationship with Cho, you’ve never been in a committed relationship and I can’t believe I’m saying this because, yes, I don’t like him, but I think he could be good for you. Now stop stalling and go and seduce him so you can shag him into the next week.”
“Gin.” Harry said, sounding tired. Ginny had a one track mind at times; he had no clue how he didn’t see this before.
“Harry Potter!”
“Yes! I got to go Gin.”
“Promise me you’ll at least try flirting with him, even just a bit.”
“I will, bye.”
Harry collected the food and was back in the Uber heading back to the house, deciding he could at least listen to Ginny on getting to know Draco better. They weren’t in school anymore; he didn’t have to stop himself.
He opened the door, one hand balancing the food, not hearing anything.
“Draco?” Harry asked as he locked the door behind him. He didn’t hear any response and dropped the food off in the kitchen before going to living room, stopping at the sight before him.
Draco laid out on the couch asleep, his arms keeping Teddy on his chest, also sleeping. It was a simple thing, something he had done with Teddy himself but just seeing it with Draco felt different.
“Oh Teddy, your cousin is going to drive me insane.” He muttered, trying to make sure he didn’t take a picture of the cute scene in front of him. But it solidified it for him, he still liked Draco and he really wanted to get to know him more and hopefully date him. Now he had to just survive the weekend. Maybe he could ask Andromeda to stay at the lake house longer so he could spend more time with him.
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