#I will be back later today must go to town first tho

[cxpperhead]

🐍;; statistical character personality test. take the linked quiz from the perspective of your character, then select 5 - 10 results from the complete matches list that you feel resonate with your character the most.

John Wick (John Wick): 85%

Jasper Hale (Twilight): 83%

Sun Bak (Sense8): 83%

Chris Partlow (The Wire): 82%

Michael Corleone (The Godfather): 82%

Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity): 82%

Elizabeth Jennings (The Americans): 82%

Kang Sae-byeok (Squid Game): 82%

Mike Ehrmantraut (Breaking Bad): 81%

Dexter Morgan (Dexter): 81%

Tagged by: @hopecerulean (Thank you frend! 💙) Tagging: @babydxhl, @chaotic-watchtower, @muppeteyes1001, @question-marked, @whiptricks33, @umbrellamedic and whoever else would like to do this??

[yearnforag0ny]

The MD and DVM; Chapter 1

Author’s note: hii omg this is the first fanfiction I’ve written in about five years now loool…I wrote this because I’ve never seen a harvey fic where the farmer is a veterinarian, and I have seen many questionable things said about farming. I work on a farm, and I am working towards going to veterinary school, so I felt my knowledge might contribute to a unique Harvey fic lol correct me if I’m wrong, tho, and please let me know if I should continue this! Crossposted on ao3 under xxdeaduniverse.

spring 1

You had always loved your grandfather’s property. His death almost broke you. However, you were delighted to find that he had left you his farm, Cinnamon Meadow. It was a quiet slice of heaven nestled away in Pelican Town. It still had all its old charm, just some added overgrowth and a lack of crops and animals. 

You graduated from veterinary school a couple of years ago. Visiting your grandfather’s farm ignited your love for animals, and it only grew the older you became. After eight years, you earned a bachelor’s degree in animal science and were officially a doctor in veterinary medicine. 

Since your veterinary school was near Zuzu City, you picked up a job offer at a clinic in the heart of the city and worked almost exclusively with dogs and cats. It was incredibly fun; however, you had forgotten your initial dream of working with farm animals instead of small ones. So when your grandfather died, you were happy to see he left you the farm in his will. While living in Zuzu City, you would visit Pelican Town every so often to say hello to your grandfather, but more so because Marnie was a client of yours. She called you whenever her animals were having the slightest of health issues. You were happy to answer her calls because it meant you would see cows, catch up with Marnie, and say hello to your grandfather. 

You sighed while you stood on the porch of your grandfather’s old house, which was technically yours now. It was a beautiful spring day. You didn’t realize how much you had missed the sounds of birds chirping. 

Marnie interrupted your peace by slamming the front door on her way out of the house. 

“Whoops! Didn’t mean to let that door slam,” She chuckled. You smiled at her. You were so grateful she agreed to help you move your stuff today. 

“Well, that was the last box,” She sighed in relief. “I’ve gotta run. Shane has to work a shift at JojaMart, and I need to watch Jas. You should stop by Robin’s house today so she can start building you a coop!” Marnie exclaimed, smiling at you.

 “Yeah, I probably will. I want to get this place up and running as soon as possible,” You said, looking out onto the land again.

“I’ll be at the saloon Friday night. You should stop by and introduce yourself to everyone then,” suggested Marnie. 

“That’s a good idea, actually. Gives me enough time to do some work and mentally prepare to meet all the new people,” You chuckled. Marnie rolled her eyes. 

“They’ll love you. Just come by whenever you’re ready, okay?” She winked at you before walking off towards her farm.

You waved goodbye and groaned once you realized you would have to clear some overgrowth to build a chicken coop. You cracked your knuckles, grabbed your axe from the porch, and got to work.

A couple of hours of hard work later, you had a small clearing of land by the farmhouse. You decided that would be enough hard work for today, you weren’t sure when Robin would close up, and you haven’t unpacked anything in your house at all. You set the axe back on your porch and made yourself look somewhat presentable. You noticed your cat, Horace, had already taken a liking to the new digs. He had plopped himself on top of a pile of boxes. Horace was a fat, tuxedo tabby cat and essentially your best friend since you had adopted him your junior year of college. You gave him a pat on the head before heading out to Robin’s.

You admired the peace on your walk to the mountains. At some point, the hours must have melted away because three o’clock. You finally noticed how tired you were from moving in and doing physical work on the land. However, your dreams of dozing away were cut short. The walk to Robin’s was not as long as you had anticipated, though, as her house suddenly appeared hidden behind pine trees. You took a moment to admire her house, assuming she had built it herself. Wooden with a blue roof. You liked it. Once you spotted the telescope on the left, you immediately wondered how beautiful the skies must be here. You hadn’t seen a sky free of light pollution in years.

You cautiously opened the front door to see a counter with a ginger woman standing on the other side reading a newspaper. She looked up when the door opened, smiling at you. 

“You must be Y/N! I’m so glad to meet you finally. I heard someone was moving into Cinnamon Meadow, but I didn’t know so soon. I’m Robin,” She said, coming out behind the counter to shake your hand. You shook it, happy to realize she wasn’t startled by some stranger entering her home. You smiled at her.

 “Hi. Marnie said to come see you if I wanted anything built, so here I am,” You chuckled. Robin looked delighted. 

“Well, sure! What were you wanting to have built?” She eagerly questioned. It was easy to see she was excited; not many villagers in Pelican Town needed new construction. 

“I’m going to get Cinnamon Meadow up and running again, so I’ll need a new chicken coop. And then a barn. And probably house renovations. I need a lot done,” You sheepishly rubbed your neck, wondering if this was too much to request all at once. Robin defied you and lit up even more. 

“Great! I can get started on the chicken coop tomorrow!” She exclaimed. 

“Deal.”

~

After paperwork and settling payments, you returned to Cinnamon Meadow to continue yardwork. You felt so relieved that the coop wasn’t too expensive to build. You had been saving up since you paid off your tuition, and you were finally happy to invest some of the funds into your future. Around six o’clock, your exhaustion won over your ambition, and you decided to settle down for the night. You unpacked enough kitchen supplies to scrounge up some frozen dinner, took a hot shower, and promptly fell asleep with Horace in your small bed around eight.

You slept better than you had in ages. You even had a dream where your farm was complete, cows and all. But you knew something was missing. Or rather, a special someone. What was the farm if you had no one to share it with? You thought to yourself within your dream. You had always told yourself you didn’t need to be with someone, that as long as you made yourself happy, it was all that mattered. But you still ached for it. Your dream was cut short by a particular fat cat lightly smacking your cheek. 

“What the–Horace!” You exclaimed.

 “I was sleeping so well…” You sighed. You checked the time on your phone. 6 AM? Might as well get up now and get some yardwork done I guess… You thought to yourself with an elongated yawn. You realized you were a little sore from all the work yesterday. You groaned, knowing there would be more to come today. Slowly, you pulled yourself out of bed and organized some food for Horace. As expected, he flew to his breakfast and you figured you should do the same for yourself. A cup of coffee and one granola bar later, you pulled on your favorite pair of overalls and stretched. Today was going to be long. You intended to clear more of the land and buy and plant seeds.

You headed outside to start working and saw Robin hammering away at the coop. Her enthusiasm for her work made you smile. 

“Morning, Robin! Any coffee for you?” You greeted. 

“NO THANKS!” She yelled back with a smile. You wondered why she was screaming before noticing she was wearing headphones. You chuckled, grabbed your axe, and went straight to work.

Around one, you figured you should take a break to go to the store. You briefly recall Marnie mentioning a place called Pierre’s. After trading your axe for your wallet, you started heading in the general direction of town. It was another beautiful day. Are all the days here going to be as lovely as they have been? You wondered, smiling to yourself. You noticed that the change of scenery from moving here had already positively affected you.

You walked into town and focused on the square before you. It's small but adorable. Lamposts and trees lined the square, along with a few buildings. The one before you was the doctor’s clinic, with Pierre’s store on the other side. You briefly wondered about the town doctor for a moment. You knew you should get yourself checked up sooner rather than later. After doing farm research in your undergrad, you unfortunately found out the hard way that farm work was no joke. You filed away this thought for later and walked into Pierre’s.

The general store was small but had everything you could ever need. The older gentleman with glasses behind the single register smiled at you.

 “You must be the new farmer! Y/N right? I’m Pierre. It’s so nice to have somebody new in town!” He exclaimed. You wondered when the last time somebody new moved into Pelican Town. 

“Yeah, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you,” You smiled back. 

“I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather. He was a great man. Sold me the best crops,” Pierre sighed. You felt a tinge of grief bite at you, pushing it away immediately. 

“He was a good man. I fully intend to restore the farm, though, so I’ll have some crops for you,” You chuckled. Remembering what you came here for, you grabbed a bunch of random seed packets and essentials for your kitchen. You accidentally bumped into a woman with bright green hair in one of the aisles. You quickly learned she was Pierre’s wife, Caroline. 

“You should come to the aerobics class here on Tuesdays! Great way to get to know everyone,” She smiled. The thought of any more exercise than you already had to do on the farm made you cringe. 

“Maybe,” you tentatively said before mentioning it was good to meet her and heading to checkout. You went right home afterward, excited to plant your new seeds. You may have been a little ambitious when you started tilling the dirt; the field you created was large. You also knew if you wanted to make money anytime soon, it would be from crops.

It took forever to till, plant, and water the field. By the time it was 6, you were wiping sweat off your brow and decided that was all you could take today. You headed into your house to make a proper dinner from the groceries you picked up at Pierre’s today: homemade pizza. You savored every bite—your first meal in your first owned house. The thought made you smile. After a shower, you watched TV, cuddling Horace before finally falling asleep for the night.

The following two days seemed to blur together. At some point, you went to Marnie’s to catch up and buy chickens after Robin was done with the coop. You were overjoyed to finally have animals back on the farm and made a mental note to return to Robin’s on Monday to have her start building a barn. However, today was Friday. The day you were going to the saloon. You thought about it��stressed about it–while doing your farm chores that morning. Was everyone going to like you? Would they insist on kicking you out of Pelican Town? Or would you drink enough to forget these irrational thoughts and let go? You decided on the latter. 

By the time five o’clock rolled around, you had showered and started getting ready for your first night out on the town. You threw on your favorite pair of jeans and a sweater with some jewelry. After a little makeup and tweaking your hair, you decided you were ready.

Walking out the door, you felt a cold spring breeze on your back. You were immediately grateful you picked a sweater. As you walked towards the saloon, you looked up at the sky. The sun had just begun to set. It was your favorite time of day. A part of you felt like having drinks on your porch alone instead of being crowded by strangers in a bar, but you knew better than to be a hermit tonight. You had told Marnie you would be there, so you would. 

You could hear faint music and laughter inside as you approached the saloon. A warm glow of light emitted from the windows. You took a deep breath and walked in. The villagers were having so much fun not many even noticed you came in except Marnie. She sat in the center of the bar, smiling and waving at you. A wave of relief washed over you. You smiled and sat down 

next to her.

“I’m so glad you came! I’ll have to introduce you to everyone,” She said, handing you a glass of wine—even more relief. You gulped to soothe your nerves. One by one, Marnie introduced you to some people in the town. You knew you would struggle to remember some of their names after tonight. You met Emily, tending the bar, along with Gus. Leah, an artist who had also moved to the valley from the city. Pam, who seemed like the local drunk. Willy, a sweet fisherman. Marnie pointed out other people; you determined Demetrius was married to Robin because they were dancing together. Some younger kids in the other room were Sebastian, Sam, and Abigail. A young woman with glasses suddenly sat herself next to you.

 “Marnie, is this the new farmer we’ve all been hearing about?” She questioned, smiling at you. 

“Yup! Y/N, meet Maru,” Marnie motioned to her. 

“Hi,” you shyly said with a smile.

 “Y/N is a veterinarian,” Marnie blurted out. You nodded. 

“Good to have another scientist in town,” Maru giggled. “Dr. Y/N, then?” She asked. You laughed. 

“Oh, no, please don’t call me doctor…except when I’m looking at your animals,” You winked, and they laughed. Maru looked in the other direction of the bar, and you saw something go off in her brain.

“I should introduce you to the only other doctor in town,” Maru giggled. 

“Oh, sure, I’ve meant to meet them, actually,” You nodded. Maru took your hand and led you to a table near the jukebox. At the table sat two men having wine. One had long hair and wore a reddish coat, the other with glasses and a mustache wearing a green coat. Before you had time to think further, Maru set her hands down on the table. 

“Gentlemen, this is Y/N. She just moved into Cinnamon Meadow. Harvey, she is also a doctor,” Maru said with a smirk. You briefly wondered which one she was talking to before the man in the glasses smiled. 

“Is that right? I’m the town’s doctor, Harvey,” He introduced himself. You were taking him in. Handsome. Really handsome. It didn’t help you had a thing for mustaches, but he was also smart, evidently. 

“I’m a veterinarian. I planned on getting my MD for a while but decided I liked animals more than people,” This raised a laugh out of them all. 

“Good to meet you, doctor Y/N,” Harvey said, sipping his wine. The man with the long hair introduced himself as Elliott. You immediately let his name slip your mind because you were considering how you would further get to know Harvey. Marnie interrupted your thoughts by calling for you from the bar. 

“Y/N! Come here, you gotta tell me what breed of cows you want to invest in!!” You blushed. 

“I suppose I’ll see you later,” You said, mainly to Harvey. You could feel the alcohol working its way into your system, so it was probably best you get away from him now before you were completely drunk. Harvey looked a little disappointed. 

“Be sure to come see me some time to get checked up,” He quickly mentioned. You nodded, smiling; maybe you weren’t just delusional, and he thought the same about you. You walked back to Marnie, but every fiber of your being wanted to stay and have another drink with him.

[u3-ha]

"Fluffy Sleep-Over Party"

Character: The twins, MC (named))

Words count: 1966

Warning: None, just fluffy (and cheesy, geeky things-)

Just wanna write something sweet for the beloved demon twin birthday 😘

Art by @keapr_

"Hei Haru, you didn't forget about the party with just three of us, right?" Said belphie just after everyone left the Dining table.

"Hm? Of course not."

"Then what we will do this time?" Asked Beel while chewing on the rest of his food.

"I got some places on my list. We will go to all of them later today.

The twins eyes lid up in excitement.

"Can't wait."

.

.

.

Few hours later,

"Gah, why it's raining so hard all of sudden. Hope nothing bad happen to my package." Said Levi as he put the wet umbrella near the door.

"I think it isn't that weird. Isn't it always like this around this season?" Said Satan that just got in after Levi.

Haru just stand there in silence, looking at the rain from the opened door. Thunder roaring outside. She felt dejected. She just stand silently until Satan talk to her, "Hm, Haru? Are you going out somewhere?"

"O-oh. Um.. not really."

She turned her back to Satan, "You two better go change your wet clothes or you'll catch a cold. Don't forget make something warm too."

"O-okay.."

Haru quickly walked into her room and close the door slowly. She then proceed to just plop on her bed and sank her face onto her plushie.

"Why it must be raining now.. all of my plan was on the outdoor... what should I do.."

"I feel so bad to tell them about this after make them looking forward to it like that.."

"But if I stay silent, they will find out eventually..." Haru sighed.

"Okay then.."

She decided to go to the twin room even with uncertain feeling in her heart. She gulped before knocking on the door.

*Knock knock

"Beel, Belphie. Are you inside?"

Haru can hear the creak sound as the door opened by Beel.

"Belphie just barely waking up, tho. Do you need something?"

"Um.. I.." Haru fiddling with her slevees, "I have something to talk with you two."

Beel noticed some expression that make him worried. But he decided to not ask anything.

"Okay.. come in then."

Beel proceed to walk to Belphie bed to wake his twin up from the slumber.

"Belphie. Wake up." Beel shaked Belphie repeatedly.

"H-huh??" Belphie yawn, "Is it the time for our next party..?" He rubbed his eyes sleepily

"About that, actually..." Haru said,

"I was planning to take you two to some new cafe in town and a nice place to relax in the park. But since it rain suddenly...."

"We can't go there, huh.." Said Beel in sad tone.

"..."

The room felt silent, only rain and thunderstorm noises that can be heard. Haru gripped her skirt before she open her mouth again.

"Sorry, after make you two feel that happy.. I can't even fulfill my promise.."

"Haru.."

"..."

*Sigh

"I guess that just how it is then."Said Belphie

"There's nothing we can do too." Added Beel.

"Y-you two okay with this?" Asked Haru, confused.

"Well, if I can be honest. I feel a lil bit sad. But what we can do? You can't just make the storm go away."

"Belphie is right." Beel moved closer to Haru and rubbed the top of her head, "We don't have to go anywhere as long as we three are together, Anywhere is fine."

"Beel.. Belphie.."

Without realizing, Haru shed a tears and Beel didn't miss that.

"Haru, Are you okay?"

"Eh? Wh- why I am crying haha.." She quickl rub it off but it slowly turn into sob.

"Yeah, I'm okay Beel... Sorry guys, the thought of making you two feel dissapointed make me feel so nervous.. this just a relieve from that feeling I guess." She tried her best to show her smile to them.

"Haru you..." Belphie sighed, walked closer to Haru and proceed to pinch one of her cheek.

"First of all, You don't have to think so hard about our private party. It isn't an assigment or something like that, so relax."

"Hgnnn Ouukay..." Haru rubbed her cheek after Belphie release it from his pinch.

"Then, how about we just have sleep over here.. It's raining outside, so it's perfect time to cuddle right?"

"I know you just wanna sleep again, belphie.." Said Beel with a flat tone.

"Well.. it's super comfy afterall.." Said Belphie as he curling back on his bed.

"What do you think, Haru?"

"Haru?" Belphie asked her twice since she didn't respond to him. Look like she still thinking about something.

"Sleepover huh..?" She smiled, "Sure. That's sounds good."

"Also.. I don't know this can be such a coincidence but- okay, wait a minute." Hru suddenly dashing out the door and run out somewhere, leave the twins in confussion.

"Where's she's goin, running like that?"

"Who knows.."

After a few minutes passed, Haru back to the twin room, look like she just changing her outfit.

"T-this. Diavolo just give this to me yesterday.." Said haru

The twins stopped what they're doing for a sec to stare at her.

"Is that the fluffy pajama? Like the one we all had?" Said Belphie

"You tinally have your own huh?"

"Yes.. What do you two think..?" Asked Haru as she did a spin to show all of it.

Beel smiled, "It's cute.."

"Yeah, it suit you." Said Belphie with an usual bright smile.

"... Is that susposed to be a good or bad thing-" said Haru in flat tone.

Beel quicky grabbed Haru's arm to move her from the door, "It's not important. Let's just start the movie. I'm starving."

"O-okay Beel." Haru then sat on Beel's bed as he put the blanket on the carpet between their Bed so they can watch the movie together in a blanketford.

"Um... It feel so weird when I dressing up like this by myself-"

"Then.. wanna us to change to costume as well? What do you think, belphie?"

"Sure. It quite soft like wearing blanket, so I have nothing against it."

"Then! I'll make the drink while you two changing."

***

"Ah you two finished changing already." Said Haru while bringing a tray of drinks that she made.

"You should've just stay, Haru. So you can help me put it on. Now I'm tired." Said Belphie whinny.

"Aren't you a drama Queen?"

She then put the tray together with the other snack that Beel brought out.

"Here Beel. I bring some cookies for you as well."

"Oh! Thanks Haru." *Chomp chomp

"Beel.." Looking at how enthusiastic Beel ate the cookies, She chuckled , "You got some crumbs on your cheeks.

"Hmn?"

"There you go- hm?" Beel grabbed Haru's hand just before she can pulled it back. And rubbed it on his cheek.

"Your hand feels so soft, Haru.."

"B-beel.." Her face suddenly felt hot.

*Ehem!

"Did you two forgot that someone else is here?" Said Belphie with sour tone from the other side of the blanket fort.

"O-oh, right." Beel chuckled, "Force of habit. Sorry."

"Whatever." Belphie patted his side, "Stop flirting and come here, quickly."

Haru quickly move there when Beel go to grab the laptop before joining as well.

"What movie we wanna watch?"

"I don't think I thinking of anything to watch yet.."

"Just put anything, as long as it isn't an action or something too noisy."

"Okay.."

They ended up choosing a cheap romance movie aince it's in the recommendation list.

"Hei, Haru move closer, you too far for cuddle."

"Are you sleepy already?" Said Haru after sipping her warm choco.

"Thus isn't my fault that the movie is boring.. look at them. So cheesy to each other, holding hand like kids in playroom."

"Maybe he just don't want she to get lost?" Said Beel as he chewing on his snack

"Beel, every girl isn't as blunt and distracted as Haru too get lost that easily."

"Hei- I'm not that bad."

"Really? After you get lost in the alleway when you went out to buy groceries last week?"

"But I just try to follow the cat.. who know that she will took me to the wrong end hgnn.." Haru pouted.

Beel chuckled and patted her head, "Well.. Haru have lots of thing in her mind, so it isn't her fault. Even though it make me worried sometimes."

"Beel.."

"You two just as cheesy as the couple on the movie. Hmp!" Now Belphie felt the one who got bullied.

Then, Haru try to change the topic.

"Talking about holding hand.. do you know why I pick otter as my pajama?"

The twin blinked in unison.

"Oh, it is an otter.."

"I thought it was a cat or something."

"Huh, Why cat...??" Now Haru confused.

"Don't you love cat? Almost like as bad as Satan."

"Well that's true, but sometimes I just want something different you know."

"Sure sure, you are." Said Belphie, "So? What about the costume?"

"Oh, right. Almost got distracted again."

She cleared her throat before continue, "Beside they're cute. You know how the other make them look cute?" She said it as her eye lit up.

"Otter is live near the sea. They usually sleep in the water, sooo. They need to hold on something like seaweed so they won't drift away while sleeping. But when they're not alone.." Haru grabbed the twin's hand at the same time, it took them surprised a lil bit.

"They will hold to each other paw like this to make sure that their family or friends won't drift away from them!"

"Isn't that so sweet??" She smiled so brightly almost like some sparkle went popping around her.

Without any warning both Beel and Belphie put a small kisses on Haru head.

"Eh? Di you two just- ehh?" Not ready with a respon, she couldn't said anything but to turn red instead.

"You cute."

"Speaking so geekly about animal like that.. you remind me with levi everytime he talk about his Ruri-chan. But when you the one that do it, it wasn't as anoyying, I wonder why.."

"Uh.." Haru blushed.

"Since you said that." Beel moved Haru hand that grabbed it closer to his face and give it a kiss as well, "Does that mean you will hold our hands as we sleep? Like those otters did?"

"W-well yeah. I mean.." Haru brain went blank for a bit.

"Now that I realize what just I did, it's super embarrassing thing to say!" Scream Haru to herself in her head.

Belphie rubbed his head to hers, like a cat, "Keep talking Haru. It's rare to hear you talk this much after all. It isn't a bad lullaby if I may say."

"Belphie..."

Don't want to left out, Beel offering his food to her as well, "Try this popcorn Haru, it' the new flavour. Say ahh.."

"A-I-i hggn.. why you two doing this to me?!. This is supossed to be your birthday but Why you spoiling me instead???"

After a minutes, Haru went poof completely from the twin antics.

"Isn't that good?" Sid Beel with soft smile.

"It'a our birthday, so we can do anything we want."

"But I- " Haru sighed, "Okay... I'll let you two do it since it's your birthday."

They smiled. Belphie rest his head on Haru's shoulder before closing his eyes.

Beel kiss Haru on the cheek as he quietly whisper "thank you" before he join Belphie to rest on Haru's side.

Not long after heard snoring noises from both of them, Haru let out a breath and smile. She slowly give both of them soft kisses on the head and she felt they hold on her hand tighter.

"Happy Birthday for you two..."

[shadowsong26fic]

Papa and J----, August ‘34 Update

Author: shadowsong26

Rating: PG/PG-13

Fandom: Les Misérables

Characters: Technically all on-page characters are OCs; Valjean, Cosette, Marius, and Javert are discussed as historical personalities. Backstory Cosette/Marius and heavily implied Valjean/Javert.

Warnings: Nothing specific, I don’t think?

Summary: Euphrasie Pontmercy–known in the art world as La Jardinière–isn’t exactly a household name. Still, the sheer length of her active career (her work was first displayed and sold in 1839, and she left one last work unfinished at her death in 1910) makes her interesting to people who actually study that century in art. But as far as the historical record is concerned, Jardinière seems to have sprung semi-fully-formed from the streets of Paris somewhere in the mid-to-late 1820s. Other than the fact that she was educated in a convent, essentially nothing is known about her parents or her childhood.

Until now.

Or:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a PhD student with no thesis topic must be in want of an undiscovered painting to go absolutely feral over.

Disclaimer: All characters are the property of their respective creators.

Notes: Chapter 2! Admittedly a little infodumpy, but let’s be real, would this really be a Victor Hugo fanfic if I didn’t have at least one?

Updates will be posted here on Thursdays and crossposted to AO3 on Fridays.

From: Wright, Ari To: McLean, Emma Thesis proposal Saturday, 1/24, 1:14 AM

Hi, Emma,

So, I may want to change direction. Pretty radically. Is it too late to do that?

Thanks!

Ari

-----

From: McLean, Emma To: Wright, Ari Re: Thesis proposal Monday, 1/26, 8:32 AM

That depends. How big a change are we talking?

Emma McLean, PhD Professor, 19th Century French Art

-----

From: Wright, Ari To: McLean, Emma Re: Thesis proposal Monday, 1/26, 9:54 AM

Well. Hypothetically. If I may have hypothetically found an early--mid-30s--Jardinière portrait. One of the subjects may or may not be identified as her father. That. Hypothetically.

Ari

-----

From: McLean, Emma To: Wright, Ari Re: Thesis proposal Monday, 1/26, 10:35 AM

Authentic? Show me the painting.

Emma McLean, PhD Professor, 19th Century French Art

-----

From: Wright, Ari To: McLean, Emma Re: Thesis proposal Monday, 1/26, 10:38 AM

See attached photos. Taken with my phone sorry about the quality. Inscription looks like her tho doesn’t it?

Ari

Sent from my iPhone

-----

From: McLean, Emma To: Wright, Ari Re: Thesis proposal Monday, 1/26, 10:45 AM

How soon can you get it here for authentication

Emma McLean, PhD Professor, 19th Century French Art

-----

From: Wright, Ari To: McLean, Emma Re: Thesis proposal Monday, 1/26, 10:47 AM

Owners are out of town, but expected back later today or tmrw, I’ll get in touch about borrowing it ASAP.

Sent from my iPhone

-----

From: McLean, Emma To: Wright, Ari Re: Thesis proposal Monday, 1/26, 11:02 AM

Do that. If it is what you think it is, absolutely. Write the thesis.

If you don’t, I will.

Emma McLean, PhD Professor, 19th Century French Art

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

I spent most of that weekend, while I was waiting for Emma--my thesis advisor--to get back to me, pulling together everything I had on hand about La Jardinière and figuring out my next steps. I don’t think I slept for like forty hours.

Unfortunately, what I had on hand wasn’t all that much. I’d done some basic research into her--like I told Phil, the fact that her career lasted as long as it did made her interesting to me. My focus had more been on the relationship between technology and art (and not just the basic stuff, like the advent of photography, but things like changes in travel and communications technology, in available pigments, and so on), but a painter with a seventy-year career, including most of the period I was interested in, was definitely at least worth looking into.

Still, it had only been a basic overview, not much more than you’d find on her Wikipedia page.

Well, actually, it kind of was more than you’d find on her wiki page, which is pretty sparse. Just covering the basics, noting that she: was born around 1815; died September 18, 1910; was married to Marius Pontmercy, a lawyer and sometime radical; and was the mother of Thierry Pontmercy, a pioneer in the field of forensic photography, along with his four less-famous siblings. Also the fact that her work was first displayed and sold in 1839, and her last piece (Souvenir--inachevé) was left unfinished at her death; although her popularity peaked in the early-mid 1850s, she continued to be reasonably well-respected as an artist throughout her life. The entry also lists a couple of her other better-known works. And that’s about it.

To be fair, that isn’t all that surprising. Because the truth is, Euphrasie Pontmercy--known professionally as La Jardinière, and apparently to her family as Mémé Cosette--isn’t exactly a household name. Even as far as mid-19th-century/pre-Impressionist painters go. Some of that comes down to the way art is studied, and the way the various art movements of her century worked. Some of it is that she wasn’t a major player in any of those movements. And probably general background misogyny plays a role.

There’s also the fact that there is next to no information available about her early life. As far as the historical record is concerned, Jardinière seems to have sprung semi-fully-formed from the streets of Paris somewhere in the mid-to-late 1820s. Other than the fact that she was educated in a convent, essentially nothing is known about her parents or her childhood.

Until now.

Maybe.

Assuming the painting checks out.

But I wanted to have all my ducks in a row, so to speak, before I talked to Phil’s parents about borrowing the painting (and in case I needed more support to sell Emma on the idea). So, compiling what information I had, and making a list of things I’d need to dig more into.

Jardinière spent, as far as current research can tell, her entire life and career in Paris, apart from the eighteen months she and her husband spent in Dover in the 1860s (most likely because his politics got them into trouble), and the approximately two months in the early 1850s she spent in Calais without him (reasons unknown).

Her work is mostly landscapes--several paintings of gardens, appropriately enough, as well as various parts of Paris; the seascapes from her Dover period are particularly beautiful, even if fashions in the art world had generally turned away from landscapes in that period. There are also a few portraits, some commissioned and some apparently just of ordinary people in her life; and a series of works she referred to as memories, depicting places or events she had lived in or witnessed years before actually sitting down to paint them.

Some of her sketchbooks also survive, including one from Calais that has several pages missing. Most of her paintings are marked on the back with the subject and a date (generally assumed to be the date she completed the work), like the one in Phil’s living room was.

If you line up her paintings chronologically, you can see her style shifting a little, drawing in bits and pieces from new movements and artistic fashions while still remaining recognizably hers. Especially when she comes back to locations she’d already painted years before--which she did repeatedly--showing the way both she and her city have grown and changed over time.

Even more interesting, while not all of her personal correspondence is available, there are a few surviving letters she exchanged with notable artists, particularly in the last few decades of her life. There’s one letter she wrote to Toulouse-Lautrec, which was briefly quoted in a biography of him I read a few years back.

I made a note to try and get my hands on the whole text of that letter, among others, if I was really planning to do a deep dive into Jardinière’s life and work--even if it was from fifty-some years after the painting at the center of all this. I’d also need to find someone who could help me translate it, and any other papers I managed to gain access to. My French is decent enough, and I’d probably be fine communicating with French institutions and archivists in order to request access to their collections, but for something this important, I’d want someone way more fluent to help with the actual documentary evidence.

Next was a list of museums that had some of her work on display or in their collections; there was also an exhibit in Marseille that I wanted to look into--not Jardinière’s work, but ‘Bertillon and Pontmercy: The Men and Minds of Early Forensic Photography’ might include some relevant things from her son’s life and papers. Given that I’d almost certainly end up flying to France anyway, it would be stupid to skip that.

So. I had a game plan, or at least the beginnings of one. Start by reaching out to various archives, here and in France, possibly England as well; look closer at her work where I can find it, particularly her early work and the few portraits that are available--although the fact that her poetically-named final work was currently included in a post-Impressionist exhibit in Chicago definitely caught my eye. And then go to France, to look for other documentary evidence. Try to identify Papa and J-----, and, assuming I manage to do that, write about it. Fill in the gaps in a story that might not be interesting to everyone, but for the people who were interested, it mattered a hell of a lot.

All of this, of course, rested on gaining access to Phil’s parents’ painting, and proving it really was an 1834 Jardinière.

Hopefully he was right, and his parents would be easy to get on board.

But I sure as hell had to try.

[jalgajalga]

JULY

July, my birthday month, though it ain't making any different. The month i travel a lot, month that I nervously waiting as I knew would experience many new things.

July 2nd

This day, i wanna do a lot of things in my bucket lists. Watching elemental, I heard it being a good romance cartoon many people could relate. I asked my friends previously if anyone were interested, but i was being impatience, i wanted to do it immediately, so i ended up waching it alone. Not a big deal for me tho. After watching the cute movie, I eat my legendary high school dish chicken katsu noodle, also alone. At this point i must be looked very sad and lonely. But I really value my time and other's too, I don't have to wait for other when i could comfortably do it mysef. Others don't have to enforce themselves do the things they actually doesn't really interested in and spent money on it.

The-me-time day hadn't end yet. After having dinner, I went to watch artjog, anual art exhibition, the biggest and most famous one. I bought bundling ticket for exhibtion and theater stage. It would be my first time watching profesional theater performance, I was really excited. There were a lot of paintings and installation, but i was in a rush as the theater was about to start.

The artists were really cool. I could see their talents, their passions, and when all the staff were being called at the end of the performance, i was really moved. It's how art were made.

july 3rd

My birthday. Nothing different. There's no birthday present, just a little dimsum-as-a-cake surprised from my workmates. Thankyou, I really appreciated it.

July 6th, 7th I'm lucky my hometown is such a cultural city. It has a lot of culture related events. Like today, i was casualy scrolling my instagram and found an event, an opening of Kotabaru Heritage Festival, there would be a dance and orchestra performance and later, walking tour and photography exhibition. All was free, of course I won't miss it. That part of the city is realy familiar to me, my junior and senior high school located there. It's fun to know more abot its history.

July 8th First out of town trip. The closest one, 2 hours distance. It's only me and my long time close friend. First, we wanted to go by train, but then she offered to drive. That's a better idea, better moblity and these day the trains were so packed.

We don't really had a plan. We had the list but we went anywhereour moods lead. First stop, to fill our stomach we visit cute small coffeshop. The coffee was good, my friend said. I am not a coffee person, i ordered matchalatte and it was decent. The croissant was tasty also, I'm not a fan of croissant but I really like that coffeshop has.

Then we walked for little bit to Pura Mangkunegaran Palace. That palace is still functioning as residential house. My imagination flew away imagining how it was living as a nobleman, having the freaking huge house. The tour must be conducted wit a guide, and the guide war realy helpfull and informative. But they missed informing the history how this palace or kingdom (?) was form, and what's the difference between it and the other palace that Surakarta has. We looked up for that information while having dessert at the oldest ice cream shop in town. It's very famous, full of people. I wonder were they all tourist or there were some locals. Its nostalgic taste but not really special.

After the coffee, light meal, and dessert, we then heading to another famed food stall. We oredered take away so we won't coming back home empty handed. We had our late lunch almost dinner at small cute ocal steak. everything here is cute and small. The place were decorated with a lot of vintage items, a little bit random, here and there, but still cute. The food were great too. Not a fancy kind a steak, i think it was fried. But really tasty.

July 10th Asian Badminton Junior Championship. If there's a Badminton event held in town, of corse i should watch it. Young athletes working hard for dream, how can my heart not moved

July 16th After a long time, i join the weekend jogja walking tour again. I registered myself a lot, but then in the morning, i was overslept. Since my sister was home, I finally came to the tour. It's a tour of chinatown area of the city. Not much left but the story and history stayed to be told. We wanted to try the old bakery there but it hadn't open yet even after the tour ended, we had lunch and came back.

July 19th

Because of Greta Gerwig, i'm being #teambarbie haha. Second cinema this month. This time I have friend acompany me. As expected of Greta, it doesn't have to be explained. I really like it, the jokes hit me right. A lot of underlying meaning, a ittle bit too much i would say.

July 25th-28th

The very exhausting and worrying, make me nervous trip finally came. It's 4 days business trip to Bali, with car. I get dizzy easily so i'm afraid i would get motion sicknesss. Thanks god it didn't happen. actually I don't really remember how it went wkwkwkk. All I remember was I really tired and that I promise myself I woud comeback to bali and had enjoyable trip, my kinda style trip.

July 30th

This the highlight of the month. RADWIMPS CONCERT!!. I had been manifesting for about four years. Still tired from the Bali trip, i wasn't really excited at first. And also I came alone, so i'm a bit worry. I traveled solo quite often,but never to attend a concert. I literally just arrived, entering concert, jumping and singing and walking back to the inn quickly. Watching concert alone not bad, but being with friends is more fun. Inside the hall it was like magic. Wow i was reallyyyy happy.

July end. What a month. Somehow it felt restless. and I'm writting this post in a university library where i should doing my thesis. My biggest homework in life for now. Soon my post will full of library picture, me working hard on this reasearch. And by the end of the year, post about thesis defense presentation. Aameen :"))

[hohoz]

The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise. 

But let’s explain why is that: 

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad. 

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away. 

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary) 

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake. 

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK  you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall. 

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story. 

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that) 

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog) 

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this: 

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue. 

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this: 

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening. 

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ? 

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore) 

RESIDENT EVIL 5 

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this: 

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit. 

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles. 

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE. 

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US. 

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life. 

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time. 

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event) 

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex 

 So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab” 

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character. 

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6 

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game. 

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command 

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC 

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS. 

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that. 

So now let’s analyse what we know: 

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse... 

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this: 

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model) 

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8 

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see “Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that” 

But still... 

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8  

(to me this is some random dude from Russia) 

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER) 

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices. 

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations) 

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy. 

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old. 

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games

[sokkas-therapist]

✨Zukka week! Day 4: Southern water tribe//secretly dating✨🎉

Bato (after Katara) was the first from the water tribe to find out about their relationship. When Zuko’s ship docked he ran past everyone to jump into Sokka’s arms. Hakoda was happy to see him, Gran Gran was not (given their first encounter, she never really let it go). Bato thought, “oh cool, this must be Sokka’s partner!” Having been the only one who hadn’t met Zuko yet.

(Aang was also in town for future reference)

That night, Hakoda went to grab an extra blanket (or something Idk...) and heard...ummm... noisessss. He didn’t bother to investigate for his own well being and went back to bed. The next morning tho, during breakfast he confronted everyone saying “someone must have been having fun last night...” katara and sokka both choke on their drinks. Their eyes go wide and they quickly turn to look at each other, exchanging some inaudible conversation along the lines of “Seriously?!?!” “Oh, really, well apparently you were too!” “Your disgusting!” “No you!” Before turning back to their dumb struck dad. They at the same time they both sputtered to create an answer before he cut them off “you know what, I don’t want to know” he said before returning to his meal “then why’d you ask!?!?” Katara and Sokka said in unison. Aang and Zuko tried their best to look the least suspicious, but kept looking up to sneak knowing looks at each other that weren’t picked up by anyone else.

Later, Bato silently got the attention of Sokka and Zuko and motioned for them to meet him in the other room after breakfast. They offered to clean up so that they could sneak to their little “conversation” unnoticed. After cleaning up, Sokka and a very nervous Zuko headed to Bato’s room. Once they got there they made small talk for a few minutes before Bato got into what he’d really wanted them there for. “ I just wanted to say that I’m happy for you” “umm, no, uh-“ they sputtered out, Bato just chuckled “it’s ok, your secrets safe with me. I think you two are good together. I just thought I’d let you know that.” “Thank you, Mr. Bato. That... that really meant a lot” Zuko said with a shy smile. “But one question how did you-“ Sokka started before getting cut off by Bato. “ come on, I’ve known sence you got off the docks! And You two have been eyeing each other ever sense, it doesn’t take a genius, just someone with an open mind.” Sokka and Zuko exchange a loving look before intertwining hands. “ now, you love birds get out of here! I’m sure you have better things to be doing then listening to an old man talk!” Bato says practically pushing them out the door “oh, and one more thing, if you plan on keeping this a secret, you might want to tone it down a bit? Your father’s dumb, but not that dumb” which gains a chuckle from the 2 of them. Once they halfway down the hall Sokka leans in to quickly kiss Zuko. “See? I told you people are more excepting here than in the stuffy Fire nation!” Zuko smiles “yeah, I guess you were right.

I don’t know if I like this one... but here! I wanted to contribute something to Zukka week so here’s a short fic for today’s prompts!

[stupidjewkyle]

request from @im-just-star-dust

cartman x reader

my friend, eric- part 1

TW: abusive parents (mostly verbal abusive, no physical abuse) please don’t read before and after the ‘*’ mark if this is triggering to you. thank you :)

NOTE: this is set in 7th grade, they are all 12 and 13

y/n pov:

my whole life, i’ve been quiet. every school i went to, i was known as “the quiet kid.” growing up, i never had many friends. i mean, how could you even make friends without talking to them. and even if i made a friend, it wouldn’t last long cause of how much i move. my parents work in...a strange business. drug dealers. they’re always scared of getting caught, so we move once every 4-6 months. i hate my life. i hate my parents. i hate not being able to speak up about anything. i never get to have a say in anything that happens in my life. for example, today my parents decided to move again. since we have quite a bit of extra money to use, i asked to move to hawaii, or a nice place like that. they laughed and then handed me a paper with the moving information. 467 cliff drive, south park, CO, USA ‘you have to be fucking kidding me.’ i mumbled. “what’s wrong with south park?” my dad said. “it’s not a very known town, so we would be safe there. we could probably stay there for at least a year and a half.” “now you could finally make friends!” my mom said smiling. i rolled my eyes.

*

“you know what? if you’re gonna be a bitch about it, just go to your room and start packing. i don’t wanna hear anymore shit from you. got it?” my dad said, pulling me by my hair.

i wanted to say something so bad. but i was scared. i turned around and started walking upstairs.

*

1 week later

we were finally here. south park wasn’t as bad as i thought it was gonna be.

i haven’t left my house since we got here. all

the kids in my neighborhood are always outside, i cant risk them seeing me. i don’t want to meet them. i’m too scared to talk. they might think i’m weird. i just can’t risk anything. plus, school starts tomorrow. i don’t want anything to be anymore awkward than it is for me on the first day.

cartman pov:

i woke up early like normal. i got dressed, like normal. i talked to my stupid bitch mom, like normal. i walked to the bus stop, like normal.

“god why is everything so fucking boring all of a sudden?? has it always been like this??” i said while standing next to kyle and kenny.

kyle glanced at cartman. “yes, it’s always been like this fatass. i don’t see a problem with it though. it’s nice to have a routine-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP KYLE. JESUS CHRIST YOURE MAKING IT WORSE.” cartman yelled at kyle.

“you know what? i’m leaving. there’s better and less stupid things to do than school.”

i started walking away from the bus stop. stupid fucking kyle always ruining my day.

i started walking to token’s house.

on the way there, i saw a girl walking down the street. she had y/h/c hair that went down to her elbows (sorry if your hair isn’t that length LMAO). it caught my attention. she was wearing baggy jeans, an oversized tye-dye t-shirt, and a pink un-zipped jacket on top. she looked so pretty and bothered while she walked.

“woah.” i said out loud.

“dude can u move? i need to get to school.” token said standing behind me.

“cant you see i’m busy token? just walk around me.”

“i would if you weren’t so fat!”

y/n pov:

shit! i think those two boys saw me. i need to get to class fast before they say anything to me!

after what felt like hours, i finally got to my class room. i walked up to the teacher and she assigned me to a desk. “go sit next to stan, he’ll tell you about the school.” i nodded my head.

“oh hi you must be the new girl.” stan said, holding his hand out for me to shake. i blushed and didn’t put my hand out. he looked confused. “okay then... meet me after 5th period and i’ll show you around.” he said sitting back down.

cartman pov:

time skip, lunch time

i sat down at my usual table with kenny, kyle, stan, butters, craig, jimmy, and scott malkinson.

“holy shit guys, did you see the new girl?” i said excitedly.

“oh yeah i did. i think her name is y/n? i’m not sure. she’s pretty hot tho.” kyle said taking a bite of his sandwich.

“fuck off kyle, she’s mine!” i yelled.

“woah calm down fatass. she’s not yours. she doesn’t even know who you are.” kyle replied.

“and i’m about to change that...” i said grinning.

y/n pov:

i sat down outside, alone. it’s only the first day, and i already made it weird. why couldn’t i just shake his hand? he’s probably telling everyone i’m an awkward, germaphobe who doesn’t talk.

i sighed and put my face in my arms.

“uh hi. your the new girl right?” a boy said looking down at me, his hands behind his back.

something about him made me feel..safe.

“um yeah... i’m y/n...” i said quietly.

“y/n... i like that name, it’s pretty. i’m eric, but most people call me cartman.” the boy said, sitting down next to me.

“well nice to meet you eric.” i didn’t know what else to say. i wanted to keep talking to him but i had nothing else to say.

“um... are you friends with stan?” i said, hoping we could continue talking.

cartman pov:

goddammit. she likes stan. great.

“oh yeah we’re friends. he uh has a girlfriend though in case you were wondering. i’m sorry.” i said.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?! WHY AM I BEING TO NICE TO HER?! WHY AM I BLUSHING AND SMILING?? AND WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH THAT SHE LIKES STAN??

i didn’t realize what had happened to me until it was too late. i had a crush. this isn’t gonna end well. i swore i would never like anyone again after the whole heidi thing happened. i should just leave and call her a bitch and ignore my feelings. yeah! that’s a great idea!

i stood up.

“well, i have to get ready for class. it was really nice spending lunch with you. maybe we can hang out after school on friday?” i said.

“yea sure! i’d love to.” she said smiling.

GODDAMMIT WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?!

to be continued...

[shiny-procrastinates]

(re)Watching Magia Record S1 - part 13

part 12 here

Hello and welcome everyone to the last post in this series. Most people probably would watch this ep right after the other one and there's much to be written, so let's skip the recap and get right to it.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record S1 episode 13

This show in a nutshell.

Really though, poor Iroha. She only came to this town to look for her sister and now she's learnt a cruel secret and is being urged to join a cult. Talk about someone who must have no idea what's going on anymore.

Back in reality, Yachiyo has finally caught up. She tries to stop Mifuyu from showing them the truth, but I'd say it's too late now. Also, Mifuyu's sure being a jerk today. You don't get to blame Yachiyo for letting them come when you're the one who made sure this would happen!

Yachiyo gets upset, and Mifuyu disappears. Iroha wakes up with Yachiyo cleaning her Soul Gem and Yachiyo says this but, nah Yachiyo, they'd have to learn this sooner or later and you don't seem like you'd ever tell them.

Iroha and Yachiyo start making their way out of Memory Museum. Tsuruno and the others were with Iroha when they went down but now they're nowhere to be found. Wait, does that mean we don't get to see their reactions to learning the truth? What a let down.

On this topic, Iroha's also pretty calm despite everything, which is probably part because realization hasn't settled in yet, part because she's occupied worrying about her team... but maybe also in part because Iroha has a wish she can’t regret, so she just doesn't care about the price as much as others. Doesn't she look like this kind of character? "I don't care what price I have to pay if that means I'll save them"-like.

Oh.

Hey Yachiyo 1: that was really outta nowhere; 2: that's not very nice of you, jumping ship just as things have hit rock-bottom. What the hell

Iroha, of course, is as shocked as we are (we are?). Sure Yachiyo had been acting strange since yesterday but this is a bit much. You can't just decide this on your own when 3/5 of the team is MiA

Iroha follows after Yachiyo, pressing her for an explanation, but Yachiyo refuses to give one.

Iroha's understandably upset at Yachiyo's attitude and asserts she refuses to leave Yachiyo's side if she won't give her a convincing reason to. And really, she has all the reasons to lose her cool here: one of her best friends is leading a cult, she's destined to a fate worse than death, half her team is missing and now the last one wants out for absolutely no discernible reason besides because she wants to. Even a saint has their limits.

Also, like, Mikazuki Team is like family to her, Yachiyo can't just decide to destroy her home with no explanation like this

Hearing what Iroha said, maybe Yachiyo realized she wouldn't get Iroha off her tail without saying anything, so she reveals her reason for wanting to disband the team. Yachiyo says that her wish was to survive. However, the way it worked was that she sacrificed others for her own survival. So she thinks Iroha and co. will die if they stay with her.

Even hearing this, Iroha's not convinced. Could such a wish really exist?

So yeah, Yachiyo was having a little crisis there and ended up being eaten by the Rumor(?). Thankfully, Iroha could still see her signal on the Soul Gem GPS, so the girl firms her determination to save her.

While Iroha's doing that, Yachiyo's having a lecture by herself to herself inside the Rumor. Quite the novel way to do introspection, if I do say so myself.

Here, we learn that Yachiyo originally wished to survive in the modelling world (we're never directly told that she's a model but there's lots of visual cues to it throughout the series). She did it because she thought she had to be a strong leader to protect her companions. She didn't want to survive at their expanse; so, uhhh...

She isn't then. Wishes in this series come true in the exact way the Magical Girl wants it to, so Yachiyo's wish can't be killing anyone if that's not what she wanted. She's misunderstanding.

...I wish they'd have put Kanae and Mel's last words in the actual scene they belong to rather than just a still, since they're literally one of the main reasons Yachiyo even reached the conclusion that their deaths were caused by her.

Iroha has learned "hold B to charge".

So, yeah, Iroha must've had a training arc off-screen because even though she's only been shown sucking at battles the whole series, she's now suddenly strong enough to defeat a Rumor on her own. Or maybe she just wanted to save her wife Yachiyo that much.

Iroha defeats the Rumor of Memory Museum (the place's an actual building, if a weird one, so that stays), hugs Yachiyo and is about to literally drag her by the hand to go search for the others, but Yachiyo's still reluctant. Iroha then tells her that Yachiyo and the others are the one who made her this strong, so she'll prove to her that her wish isn't what she thinks it is.

Don't jinx yourself, idiot! Thank god you've got protagonist plot armor.

Now, if only years of survivor's guilt could be cured this easily in real life too.

Yachiyo finally calls Iroha by her first name, accepting Iroha's promise.

The museum starts falling apart, probably thanks to the damage it received when Iroha was fighting the Rumor, so Iroha and Yachiyo have no choice but to leave the place now, even though they haven't found the others yet.

Iroha barely dodges some debris, stumbling, so Yachiyo carries her instead. Iroha's Soul Gem has been drained from fighting the Rumor, so she's having a hard time moving already. Doppels may be a thing, but there's no guarantee that they're safe, so Yachiyo's call of going to the Coordinator's to get a Grief Seed is probably correct.

As Iroha's situation worsens, Yachiyo follows Chibi Kyuubei until almost the entrance. Then, she meets with someone we know very well.

Mami says something about a gospel, and Yachiyo asserts that she and Iroha have no intention of joining the cult.

Which makes Mami snap. This girl is clearly not on her right mind. In fact, one could say she lost her head (ba-dum-tss).

Mami and Yachiyo start fighting, and I guess as expected of a veteran of 7 years, we have to commend Yachiyo here on meeting Mami's blows while carrying Iroha on her back. Yachiyo pleads with Mami to hear them out but Touka, the brat who was just watching the battle, tells Mami she doesn't have to, and Mami just keeps on her offensive.

Of course, there's only so much Yachiyo could do handicapped. But today is not the day Yachiyo's getting a bullet to her head, because

A certain someone who really likes impromptu hydrant smoke bombs is here.

Sayaka! Nice save, shining cape hero of justice! You have no idea who exactly you're calling weak tho

Seeing Sayaka, it looked like Mami had went back to normal for a moment, but nope, she's still borked. Like in all timelines where she learns it, seems like Mami didn't take the truth well here either. The difference is that she can't witch out in Kamihama so something happened instead.

Mami keeps monologuing, with Sayaka of course not understanding a single thing she's saying. Then, Mami starts to doppel out. The girl has seriously lost her mind and is now obsessed with salvation. (and man 10/10 on the VA’s voice acting here)

And here comes the bullet hell! This is so overkill Mami

Sayaka and Yachiyo do their best to deflect the rain of bullets, with Yachiyo turning back and trying to compete in number of spears. Jesus, just how big exactly is the amount of magic a veteran magical girl has? This is insane!

Yachiyo tries to send a stream of spears, who are deflected with one Tiro Finale, with another one headed their way right after

Sayaka blocks the Tiro Finale with her sword. The shot is so powerful one of her arms is torn off AND SHE ATTACHES IT BACK MID-AIR

holy-moly!

Hope this museum has insurance.

Sayaka just barely manages to reflect that bomb, which saves them from being blown to smithereens. Touka was having a nice tea time watching the spectacle, but then realizes she had something else to attend to so she exits, leaving the stage to Mami, who resumes her bullet hell.

Sayaka uses Yachiyo's spears as a platform to get closer and attempts to grab Mami, to no avail. She falls down and tries to take cover, but Mami's bullets are now homing bullets apparently, because they just change direction and start raining in her direction again.

Down below where Yachiyo's hiding, Iroha manages to wake back up, but she looks, like, on the verge of dying or something. Iroha tells Yachiyo they have to help Sayaka and Yachiyo rebukes there's no way they could win, to which Iroha subtly implies she wants to use her doppel, assuring Yachiyo it'll be okay and raising yet another flag.

Mami finally corners Sayaka, but before Sayaka can become blue Swiss cheese, Iroha comes in with her doppel to cover her. Very convenient that she suddenly knows how to control it.

Aaand Yachiyo can do that too, because of course she does, why wouldn't she. (/sarcasm)

But, uhhh, hers is considerably more creepy, what with the extra arms and stuff. Yikes.

Yachiyo says that doppels are dangerous, but one has to wonder when and how did she even learn about them. After all, she did seem surprised when Iroha did not turn into a witch in Seance Shrine.

While that's going on Touka's just out here deciding by herself that Mami would want to die for the sake of salvation. Just, uh, I don't think you can judge that when she's gone nuts, and you're a jerk if you put her in that scenario expecting her to die. Not that anyone had any doubts you're a jerk, mind you.

Also, what does she mean with Mami helping with developing Rumors?

"hey Kyuubei, I don't want to be meguka anymore, can I retire?"

Even using their doppels, Iroha and Yachiyo are not managing to make even a dent in Holy Mami. Iroha ends up getting bashed into a wall, the doppel taking over for real and her becoming a sitting duck for Mami, but Yachiyo yeets Mami before she can shoot. I'm sure this wasn't supposed to be funny but there's just something hilarious to me about Yachiyo just yeeting Holy Mami and her bouncing away.

Yachiyo transforms and shakes Iroha back to reality.

Again, why the heck do you know this, Yachiyo.

Iroha raises yet another flag for herself. What next? Are you going to say you want to marry her when you two go back?

Somewhere else, Touka arrives on her appointment: a speech for the cult. And oh my hell just look at how many magical girls there is! The amount of Black Feathers always blows me away, since the impression I got from og and even the spin offs is that, sure, there are some groups of magical girls around like the Holy Quintet and the Pleiades, but I still though it was more of a rare thing. It's shocking to see THIS many in the same place. (...I suppose the game needed the cannon fodder :x)

HEY what are these two doing here?!

Touka continues her speech over Iroha and Yachiyo's battle.

This cult leader here continues her discourse, preaching about how the power to wish for something is what advanced civilization, so magical girls, who have the power to make a wish reality, are better than normal humans, and so are deserving of being released from their fate.

OH NO, TSURUNO HAS GONE WEIRD TOO

*bonk*

There goes Holy Mami down the collapsing museum.

It's not like Touka's completely wrong (except for saying that magical girls are superior), but if it wasn't clear enough already, their actual actions makes her speech be full of hypocrisy.

Back at the crumbling Memory Museum, Iroha has managed to jinx herself so hard throughout this episode she pierced her own protagonist plot armor. Great job!

Try as she might, Yachiyo just cannot pull her back up, which also makes no sense when you consider how strong magical girls are, but alas.

And to make things worse, Mami is also pulling a literal "you're going down with me", so Iroha, making a split second decision, pulls her hand away from Yachiyo's grasp, lest both of them fall and get buried... breaking the one promise she made probably not even a hour ago.

I think that last thing she said was "sorry", but don't quote me on that.

What a loyal Mokyu. Never mind that if they can turn into water they probably can't die from this.

Yachiyo's about to follow her fate too, but thankfully Sayaka comes in for the save, only giving a brief glance to where Mami disappeared before getting the heck out of there.

Well, people promise lots of things, Yachiyo.

OH I KNOW YOU, what was your name again? It's been so long I forgot.

Back at the The Wings of the Magius' HQ, Touka's done with her speech. The way the anime cuts from Yachiyo falling to the depths of despair to the cult clapping is just *chef's kiss*

Oh no Felicia and Sana also joined the cult :(

EXCUSE ME, WHAT

oh frick we'll have to deal with that too!? Aren't things already effed up enough as is!?

...being meguka is suffering.

Also the song playing over this last sequence, Nigredo, is a real banger. Momentarily filling in that hole Kalafina left in our hearts.

After the end credits there's the teaser for season 2, with lots of overlapping lines and blink-and-you-miss-it frames hinting at the things that'll happen. I'd have to screenshot basically the whole sequence to get everything and season 2 is coming out like, today, so I'm not even gonna bother.

- x -

Aaand that's it folks! Puella Magia Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record Season 1! (still a mouthful)

I cannot express just how hyped I was by the end of this episode back when it aired. Did you get fired up watching it too? I was so into it back then I just couldn't stop theorizing for like, over a month, so eventually the curiosity was just too much and I caved in and watched the game.

On that matter, ironically, despite me loving the game story to bits, this is the ONE episode that makes me wish I didn't go and watch the game. Why? Because I liked this episode well enough before, but now I just can't get over how stupidly better the resolution to Yachiyo's arc was done in the game. I get runtime constraints and all, but it's almost an offense to her character having her believe in Iroha right away just because Iroha said she wouldn't die. Aaaaghh what the heck, I don't know how they could have done this better with the time on the episode but this wasn't it. I'll be eternally salty we got robbed of the full extent of alpha Iroha, too.

So yeah, I do apologize if this post sounded more salty and sarcastic than usual.

One thing I realized re-watching this though is that the reason this episode is so awkward with that character part is exactly because they halfheartedly tried to stick to the game. Yachiyo bringing back her "it's none of your account" and Iroha defeating the Rumor on her own were part of the game, but because they hadn't kept those character traits throughout the anime it falls flat here, because anime Yachiyo didn't use that almost as a catchphrase, and anime Iroha is never shown to be competent enough to take on a Rumor on her own (the opposite, in fact), so those come out of nowhere. Even last episode, Yachiyo 180ing because of what Mifuyu said comes out of the blue in the anime, because we're missing the context that she actually went back to behaving like she used to when she first disbanded her team, and anime Yachiyo didn't have the hold-up with the word "friends", at least not as clearly. On the other hand, Yachiyo being willing to accept Iroha's words right away does fit in with anime Yachiyo, who was always more soft than game version, but here it becomes awkward because they had had her acting like her game counterpart since last episode and then suddenly she snaps back to the anime self again.

What I'm trying to say here is that they should've changed this scene even more to fit the actual characters anime Iroha and Yachiyo are, rather than halfheartedly trying to force it to go the same way as in the game. That's what I think.

Besides that, Tsuruno and co.'s reaction to the truth was cut out, but I'm sure we'll get around to seeing that next season. Holy Mami's fight is cool but... I dunno. Except Sayaka reflecting that Tiro Finale, it felt really uninspired. It could've been shorter if that meant giving more time to the story, imo

Now for things I REALLY like in this episode, there's the whole sequence with Touka's speech. You might've even guessed this considering I said the dream sequence way back in episode 1 is my favorite ever. IT'S JUST SO GOOD. The constrast between Touka delivering this super charismatic discourse about magical girls, the saint of her cause being lunatic and their actions being just the opposite of the noble cause she says they're preaching is marvelous. They even manage to use this time to reveal that KaMoRe and Tsuruno and co. are on the cult. Really, really well done.

This ending tho. Iroha disappearing is the biggest anime original thing to happen besides Kuroe, so that's got me curious to see what they'll do with this. I love the game, so I have complicated feelings about the anime diverging from it, but I can't deny it's exciting to think about what they'll change up. Ultimately, it's more likely that they're just rearranging some stuff to make the progress more straightforward, but it'd be really cool if it went full anime original too. Just I'm not sure on the odds for that.

I'm sure they'll keep us on the suspense until the very last moment possible but I'm sure Iroha's not actually dead. Looking at a meta sense, there's no way they'd kill a main character off-screen. Storywise, it'd be hard to move Ui's mystery forward without the one person who remembers her and they're not just going to drop this plot, and also for Iroha to be dead Holy Mami would also need to be dead and we can't have that because they haven't even went into what's wrong with her yet. So yeah. I'll believe it when I see it. Would it be absolutely crazy if they did? Yeah, but it ain't gonna happen. (please don't make me have to bite my tongue show)

Whew, this post is long af. I didn't plan for this. I don't feel like writing a season impression because all of s1 was mostly set up for what's to come, so I can't say if it was good or bad until the series is over. Originally, I'd planned to put up another post with my theories for s2, but considering that comes out today I'm not sure there's even a point to doing it anymore lol

In any case, I hope I could provide you some fun with these posts! Being honest, the reason I decided to write this was because I've always liked to hear people's opinions on the shows I like, but I don't really have people to watch things with me, so I just read reddit and stuff. Doing that, when I was watching Symphogear s1 some years back, I stumbled across these posts of someone watching it for the first time and had a blast reading those as I watched. So I wanted to provide someone with that experience too. I'll never reach the comedic genius that person had, but I can at least keep you company while you watch :)

...these are also super useful to check back on the order of events too :v

So yeah, writing these was fun, though there were lots of parts where I really went out of ideas of what to say; it forced me to actually sit down and rewatch (or else I'd procrastinate) and made me pick up on a lot of things. That's a plus in my book.

Now that we are done with this, I hope you are as excited for season 2 as I am! I'm not sure if I'll keep writing about it here, so yeah. Whether we ever meet again or not, remember:

Don't ever make a contract with a white weasel.

[holylulusworld]

The third man (2) - The brand-new toy

Summary: You and Bucky rule the underworld of the whole of New York, always grasping for more. When your eyes land on a brand-new toy, you can’t resist. Will the golden boy, New York’s highly decorated Detective fall for you and the games you play?

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky x Mobster!Reader, Cop!Steve x Mobster!Reader, possible Mobster!Bucky x Mobster!Reader x Cop!Steve

Characters: Tony Stark 

Warnings: angst, mobster business, illegal activities, foul language, seduction, lies, smut, unprotected sex, mentions of sexual intercourse (implied), voyeurism, jealousy, masturbation

A/N: Please be aware this series has nothing to do with the movie “the third man”. The title will make sense in later chapters. 😉

A/N2: Divider by @firefly-graphics

“What did Tony bear say?” Giggling you run your foot over Bucky’s chest, a dirty grin on your lips when he grabs your foot to suckle at your toes.

Water splashes out of the bathtub, but you don’t care. Not when your husband rubs around your bundle of nerves. “Bucky…god, you are insatiable…”

“Only with you, doll. Now back to business…” Disappointed you purse your lips when Bucky tries to talk to you about business instead of fucking you.

“No! I want to ride you while you tell me everything Tony said. Be my good husband and I’ll let you do the thing with thing you like so much.” Snickering you straddle Bucky’s lap. “Look who’s hard for his wife.”

His hands press against your lower back, just resting them there while you raise your hips to line his cock up with your entrance. “Baby doll, don’t make me go crazy…”

“Would never dream off doing so.” Being the devil in disguise again you painfully slowly sink down his length. “Feels so good Buck’, maybe I forget about Rogers?”

“No, you won’t, dirty girl. In a week you’ll beg me to help you corrupt the poor guy. I bet he will be putty in your greedy hands.” You rock your hips slowly, savoring the way Bucky fills you perfectly.

“You’re still the best…” Moans fill the room, along with the sound of water splashing out of the bathtub when you move faster on top of your husband. “The only one holding my heart…”

“I know you want Rogers but be careful this time. Rumlow was easy to get rid of. He was a small-town gangster.” Humming you wrap your arms around Bucky’s neck to hold tight onto him when your husband starts to fuck up into you.

“Oh-right there, baby. Don’t stop…don’t…fuck…fuck…” Your teeth sink into your lower lip feeling your high ripple through your body. “Love it when you cum inside of me.”

“Love to cum inside of you…” You peck his neck, just holding Bucky pressed to your body. “Love you…”

“Love you too. It’s just... Why can’t I stop playing?” Bucky falls silent before he clears his throat.

“We are kinky?” Your husband offers and you nod silently. “I don’t know, doll. It makes me go crazy seeing someone else touch you but at the same time, it makes me rock-hard. Do you want to fuck Rogers or just play with him?”

“Rumlow was a toy to play with and Tony, well he was fun for a while and a great investment. He’s still my Tony bear.” Laughing Bucky presses his lips to your neck. “I only love you, Buck…”

“I know you do, doll.” For a while, you just stay like that. Tangled in each other you let the minutes tick by. “Tony said Rogers believes I hurt you. He also said we can play with Steve, but not harm him.”

“I don’t want to harm him, Bucky. He’s just so shiny and new. I want to make him dirty and rotten. When I am done with him, he’ll yearn for me in a way Stevie will never understand.” Bucky loves your evil way to get what you want.

“You didn’t hurt Tony. He’s a cop too, Y/N.”

“Tony was never a problem, baby. He’s hopelessly in love with my cunt. One snap of my fingers and he is my good boy…and yours…” Bucky smirks, remembering Tony’s submissive side.

“Tony is reliable, not a liability as Brock was. That drooling bastard never knew his place.” Hissing at your failure’s name you look at your husband.

“It was my fault, Bucky. I was the one choosing the wrong guy. He was my first after we had fun with Wanda.”

You still remember the wild nights with Wanda and Natasha. It was a natural connection drawing you to them. “Pity they married and want an ‘ordinary’ life…”

“I missed them too…especially the thing they did with you when I was only allowed to watch,” Bucky smirks when you start to squirm in his lap. “I enjoyed it, tho.”

“I did too, baby. Now, tell me about Tony and his weekly report.”

“Looks good. The clubs are still profitable and the deal with Thor went smooth. Still, I miss Loki and his bad jokes.”

Poking Bucky’s biceps you give him a dirty grin. “I mean, he was a snake, but reliable. A pity Rogers brought him down six months ago.” Glancing at the papers in Bucky’s hands you sigh.

“You hated Loki. Thor is the better partner and not interested in killing us. Loki was always one step from shooting you, Bucky.” Nodding your husband closes the folder.

“Tony likes Rogers. I don’t know if we should involve him with your game this time. What if Tony decides your cute ass ain’t worth Roger's downfall?” For the first time, you worry about your plan.

Tony was an easy prey. He always had a thing for you and Bucky. One thing led to another and you ended up in a ménage a Trois for a while until you decided he’s better off with Pepper Potts.

“Let me sleep about it, baby. Maybe you are right, and Tony won’t keep his mouth shut but I’d like to play with Rogers. Stevie looked like a kicked puppy when I left him.”

“Boss, do I have permission to investigate the club and Barnes activities? I don’t want to cross a line, but apparently, he’s hurting his wife.” Steve insists. “If I can get her on my side…”

Tony chuckles, not knowing how to explain that Bucky would never dare to lay a finger on you.

“Listen, that’s a game they play. Y/N Barnes may be a lot of things, but she’s no damsel in distress. She’s as dangerous as her husband. I highly recommend not to get involved with her. Whatever you believe you saw or heard, it’s untrue…”

Tony swallows thickly, remembering the way you wrapped him around your pinkie. “I made the same mistake, Rogers. I tried to save her only to fall for her lies. It’s too late for me to stop them, but you can still make it.”

“I don’t understand, Sir. You fell for her…oh-I get it.” Steve stammers realizing his boss was sinfully involved with you. “What about her husband?”

“You see…we got drunk, there was a whirlpool and…well…things happened. One thing led to another and…” Tony’s flushed face tells Steve there was more than a bit skinny dipping. “If you tell anyone what I said, you are fired.”

“Boss, your privacy is important to me. I would never do anything to damage your reputation.” Steve is not used to talking to his boss about sex, so he clears his throat and tries to change the subject. “You think she wants to do the same to me?”

“Oh-she does it good…so good. I never…” Tony groans, almost vibrating when he remembers the nights, he spent with you and Bucky. “Y/N is a force of nature. Wild, and dangerous. Unleashed she can rip you apart and put you back together…”

“I’ll pass, Sir.”

“Tony was silent today. I got the feeling he was hiding something from me.” Nipping at your drink you sigh deeply. “I think he’s no longer reliable, Bucky…”

“Why’d you say that? Didn’t he give you enough attention?” Your slap to his cheek stings, but Bucky knows, he deserved it.

“It’s not about giving me attention, James.” His full name leaving your lips stings even more. “You know, last time he was all cheery to see me instead of you, and today he dismissed me like I am a random bitch in heat…”

“What exactly makes you think your Tony bear is hiding shit from us?” Bucky slides his fingers over your thigh, a smirk on his lips. “Did he say something wrong?”

“It was rather the things he did not say, Buck. We talked about business, his engagement with Pepper, hell even the weather but not a single word about Steve Rogers. I think Tony is not on our side any longer.”

“He’s playing with fire then…” Leaning against the counter Bucky chews on a toothpick. You hate his habit but remain silent tonight. “If Stark is not on our side, he’s an enemy and we take enemies down.”

“We can’t, baby. If Tony told Rogers anything about our arrangement or what we did behind closed doors, he’ll go after us when Tony disappears or falls victim to an accident.”

You mirror Bucky’s posture, letting your eyes wander around the crowded club. “Speaking of the devil.”

“I thought he’s the golden boy, doll,” Bucky smirks, riling you up for fun. “Do you still want to play with him?”

Meeting your husband’s eyes, you shrug before you turn your attention toward your drink.

“I will let him come to me, baby. Anything else would make him suspiciously. It’s his decision to play with fire, not mine…”

Steve hides in the darkest corner to watch you and your husband. He can see Bucky’s hand trail down your back and wishes it was his. When Bucky places a soft kiss to your neck Steve imagines you whisper his name.

There is a dark side in Steve wanting to break through seeing you with your husband. Never before did he feel a stronger pull toward a woman, another man’s girl.

“Anything I can do for you?” Liliane purrs but Steve dismisses her with a wave of his hand. Only taking the drink the waitress brought he trains his eyes on Bucky who slides his fingers over your exposed thigh.

Moments later you leave the crowded room to rush toward your husband’s office. Steve almost drops his drink to follow you close behind, forgetting you could see him.

Your mouth seals Bucky’s in front of his office and Steve can feel his pants tighten watching you palm your husband’s cock.

“Fuck me, baby. Please…I need you.” Your needy voice let a choked groan escape Steve’s throat as he must watch you push your husband into his office only to slam the door shut.

A heartbeat later you moan Bucky’s name and to his shame, Steve walks toward the office to press his ear to the door. He’s grasping the door handle, silently opening the door.

Throat dry Steve looks at the scene, not missing the way you react to your husband’s touch. Now he knows what Tony was talking about. He’s mesmerized by the beauty of your bodies moving in sync.

Bucky moans your name, gripping your thighs tightly as you slide your fingers through his hair. Your legs wrap around your husband’s waist and you are too lost in pleasure to recognize the man watching you and Bucky with darkened eyes.

Moan, grunts and the sound of your bodies collide fill the office. Eyes closed shut you cry out with every hard thrust while Bucky urges you on to come for him. “I love you, doll. No one else can have you…”

“Yours…only yours…” Right at that moment, you mean it as you always do. You play with other people, but your heart, body, and soul only belong to Bucky, your sworn partner in crime. “I love you…”

Steve silently closes the door, knowing he’ll never forget the way you writhed underneath your husband. He’s pressing his forehead and palm against the door when a cry of pleasure erupts from your throat.

“Let’s forget about that guy, Rogers. We don’t need him, baby. I only want to feel you buried inside of me. No more fooling around. It was nice to imagine having him but I don’t think he wants me enough to stay…”

“He’s a fool…” Bucky moans your name, shuddering as his high makes him buck into you repeatedly. “We could’ve given him the world…you…”

The cold shower doesn’t help to wash away the shame and the need Steve feels. His hand harshly fists his cock, imagining it’s you touch him the way he wants to.

For the first time in his life, Steve is losing control over his emotions and he doesn’t know if you will become his toy or the other way around…

[someone-worth-racing-for]

Hey there!

I am quite new here and I was wondering how you got into this fandom. Specially the carlandofandom :)

Also, when did you start writing? I saw your posts the other day about not being able to write all of it, so it somehow triggered me to write some stuff myself (some requests were just too cute).

Havent been properly writing for ages though and I am not quite sure if anybody wants to read my stuff...any advice? Im so indecisive...

Thanks for all your great stories and have nice day :)

Hey you, anonym and especially – welcome to the fandom! 🤗❤️

Oh my God, believe me – you actually don’t want to know how I got to this fandom, it’s such a long story.. You better grab yourself some Coke and popcorn, because this will be a longer one.. 🥤🍿

But alright, everything has begun with that the TWD (The Walking Dead) fandom has started to annoy/boring me, also because the show has become pretty bad and I wanted to leave the sinking ship before it will be too late. That must have been around autumn/winter 2018. During the winter months I really, really love to watch ski jumping, also because it’s pretty popular in my country (Austria). I was already a fan of it since many, many years, but I only became a real fan at that time. I always say I love this sport so much, because those jumps are always so “quickly over” – meaning that I don’t have to wait for too long to find out the results. Yeah, the competition itself isn't that short, but the individual jumps of each athlete are. That’s why I actually “hate” F1 so much, because I have to wait freaking two hours of pure stress, several mental breakdowns and heart attacks later to finally find out who will win, and also because so much can happen during a race, while those ski jumpers are practicing individual – does that make any sense!? However, so I got pretty deep into the ski jumping fandom over that time, especially also here on Tumblr, where I have met a pretty nice girl back then, who had been as thrilled about the fandom as me. But you know, during the summer there aren’t any competitions, so it had been pretty boring in the ski jumping fandom and then suddenly that girl came up with F1.

The first thing I have thought was ‘NO WAY! NEVER EVER!’ – you have to know, I have really hated F1 with a passion before August 2019. I was always making fun of my boyfriend watching those cars driving in circles for two hours. I just couldn’t understand it how someone can watch that voluntary (I sometimes still can’t..😅) and I really, really hated it with everything I had. My boyfriend even was at the Austrian GP in 2019 and back then my biggest nightmare would have been if he would have forced me to come with him (he got there with his father in the end – today I would give everything to get there!)

I remember, we have been on vacation during the beginning of August 2019. We were in a theme park, when my boyfriend said at one point that he will get over to that bench in the shadow under the tree now and watch the qualifying. I have really thought he was kidding me, because I couldn’t understand how the hell someone would watch something so stupid like F1, while being in a freaking theme park. Well, today I would be the one sitting there on the bench, while my boyfriend would probably urge me to please finally stand up so we could go on 😅

That was at the beginning of August 2019 – so I must have slowly but sure fallen for the fandom around 15th of August. And if you believe me or not, but I have neither fallen for Lando nor for Carlos at the first place. It was actually Max, also because he was one of the less drivers I have known next to Lewis, Sebastian, Valtteri (I always had to think about Harry Potter because of Bottas..😂) and probably Nico. But I have actually began to “stalk” when I have got to know about that Max has a little sister and I have found those sweet pics of him with her together (Do you know which pics I mean? You should really check them out – they are so cute). And somehow Lando came into the play as well and so my first story for this fandom resulted. Back then I have really, really thought it would be the first and also last story I will ever publish for this fandom. Well, that didn’t aged well..😅 Somehow my interest grew and grew with every more day stalking the internet for content and by the time of the first race after the summer break, I was already a fan. Spa 2019 has been the first F1 race I have ever watched from the start till the end and I have to say that this weekend has broken me (literally). Of course, because of Anthoine, but also because this time of the year is since 2017 never easy for me and on that weekend also Carlando finally came into the play. Check out this post from a few weeks ago – Carlos’ birthday on Sunday and that Lando has supposedly hugged Carlos after his DNF has really, really touched my heart and since that day these two boys own my heart and I remember, that the next day after the race I have got up at five in the morning to write “Tomorrow will be kinder” – because writing is sometimes my only way to deal with things, so I just had to write my thoughts/feelings down and it was the beginning of something beautiful actually.

But there is one more little story I have to tell you about my F1 past – this story right here is actually one of @hurtsprincess favourite ones. Because back in 2015, when F1 was finally back in Austria again, I was there by the race as probably the biggest F1-hater under all of them. Half of our town and so also most of our friends has got there, so it was kind of peer pressure, why I have finally joined them as well. We had to stand up really, really early – actually it was still in the middle of the night (I think it was three in the morning or so) and got to Spielberg with the bus. It was one of the hottest day of the year back then and after watching “the race of generations” with Niki Lauda, Gerhard Berger and some others and then following also the F3 and F2 races (Me, back in 2015: What do you mean there are races before the actual race? What the hell is F3 and F2?) and because we were so damn tired after standing up so early, most of us, including myself, were sleeping in the meadow during the F1 race. So I have missed over half of the race and I really can’t even remember anymore who has won 😅 But it had still been a funny day for my as a F1-hater, but believe me - if I should ever get to a GP again, this won’t ever happen to me again! 😅 I promise! 🤞🏼

Wow, this has turned out longer than you have actually wanted it, right anonym?! 

Your first question about how I have got into the Carlando fandom is probably answered now and also half of your second question. But I have actually started writing fanfictions back in autumn 2016 for the TWD fandom. I have written overall 16 stories for that fandom and 4 stories in German for the ski jumping fandom, but as much as I have already loved to write fanfictions back then, it only really became my passion and biggest hobby with Carlando. I just can’t stop writing about them, also because they make me so happy and for me so easy with those dorks just being them 😊

Yeah, I’m still very sorry about that I just can’t write stories to all of these great requests, even tho I would really, really like to do - but if you have got inspired by one of these, you should give it a try!

But if you are really that indecisive and shy, you could use the anonymity of the internet for your favor (in this case this posibilty is a good thing - as long as you use your anonymity not for spreading hate/attacking/bullying someone) You know what I mean? I actually did/do that as well. Only three people here on Tumblr know who I really am. Some of you may know from where I am (because I don’t make a secret out of it) and some here even know my name, but that’s it. I don’t share any more personal things about my identity, because I also prefer to stay anonymous here, especially because only my boyfriend, my best friend and my mother know about that I’m writing fanfictions. All those other people I call “friends” don’t know about it or me having this account here and I also don’t want them to know, because they simply wouldn’t understand it.

What I’m trying to say here - if it makes you feel better and also more secure, you could upload your story on AO3 without telling anyone it’s you. Or if you don’t want to post it on AO3 and you also don’t want to post it on your Tumblr account, I offer you to send me your story anonymous. I would post it in your “name” aka anonym, saying that this story isn't mine and you could watch/read the reactions.

You don’t have to lose anything, anonym 😉 I would really, really like to read your story, no matter if you will decide to publish it with your name or anonymous. Because there won’t ever be enough writers out there, blessing us with their great stories. Also because I am as much a passionate reader than a writer. And I’m also pretty sure about that you are talented and also about that your story would be more than just worth reading it 😊

Thank you so much for your message, anonym and I’m sorry my answer turned out to be so long 😅 but I really hope my words have helped you in some way, because I’m pretty sure about that you actually don’t have to have a reason to be that shy and indecisive 😉 Just give it a try, as long as it makes you happy 🤗❤️

[holyhellpod]

Holy Hell: 3. Metanarrativity: Who’s the Deleuze and who’s the Guattari in your relationship? aka the analysis no one asked for.

In this ep, we delve into authorship, narrative, fandom and narrative meaning. And somehow, as always, bring it back to Cas and Misha Collins.

(Note: the reason I didn’t talk about Billie’s authorship and library is because I completely forgot it existed until I watched season 13 “Advanced Thanatology” again, while waiting for this episode to upload. I’ll find a way to work her into later episodes tho!)

I had to upload it as a new podcast to Spotify so if you could just re-subscribe that would be great! Or listen to it at these other links.

Please listen to the bit at the beginning about monetisation and if you have any questions don’t hesitate to message me here.

Apple | Spotify | Google

Transcript under the cut!

Warnings: discussions of incest, date rape, rpf, war, 9/11, the bush administration, abuse, mental health, addiction, homelessness. Most of these are just one off comments, they’re not full discussions.

Meta-Textuality: Who’s the Deleuze and who’s the Guattari in your relationship?

In the third episode of Season 6, “The Third Man,” Balthazar says to Cas, “you tore up the whole script and burned the pages.” That is the fundamental idea the writers of the first five seasons were trying to sell us: whatever grand plan the biblical God had cooking up is worth nothing in face of the love these men have—for each other and the world. Sam, Bobby, Cas and Dean will go to any lengths to protect one another and keep people safe. What’s real? What’s worth saving? People are real. Families are worth saving. 

This show plugs free will as the most important thing a person, angel, demon or otherwise can have. The fact of the matter is that Dean was always going to fight against the status quo, Sam was always going to go his own way, and Bobby was always going to do his best for his boys. The only uncertainty in the entire narrative is Cas. He was never meant to rebel. He was never meant to fall from Heaven. He was supposed to fall in line, be a good soldier, and help bring on the apocalypse, but Cas was the first agent of free will in the show’s timeline. Sam followed Lucifer, Dean followed Michael, and John gave himself up for the sins of his children, at once both a God and Jesus figure. But Cas wasn’t modelled off anyone else. He is original. There are definitely some parallels to Ruby, but I would argue those are largely unintentional. Cas broke the mold. 

That’s to say nothing of the impact he’s had on the fanbase, and the show itself, which would not have reached 15 seasons and be able to end the way they wanted it to without Cas and Misha Collins. His back must be breaking from carrying the entire show. 

But what the holy hell are we doing here today? Not just talking about Cas. We’re talking about metanarrativity: as I define it, and for purposes of this episode, the story within a story, and the act of storytelling. We’re going to go through a select few episodes which I think exemplify the best of what this show has to offer in terms of framing the narrative. We’ll talk about characters like Chuck and Becky and the baby dykes in season 10. And most importantly we’ll talk about the audience’s role, our role, in the reciprocal relationship of storytelling. After all, a tv show is nothing without the viewer.

I was in fact introduced to the concept of metanarrativity by Supernatural, so the fact that I’m revisiting it six years after I finished my degree to talk about the show is one of life’s little jokes.

 I’m brushing off my degree and bringing out the big guns (aka literary theorists) to examine this concept. This will be yet another piece of analysis that would’ve gone well in my English Lit degree, but I’ll try not to make it dry as dog shit. 

First off, I’m going to argue that the relationship between the creators of Supernatural and the fans has always been a dialogue, albeit with a power imbalance. Throughout the series, even before explicitly metanarrative episodes like season 10 “Fan Fiction” and season 4 “the monster at the end of this book,” the creators have always engaged in conversations with the fans through the show. This includes but is not limited to fan conventions, where the creators have actual, live conversations with the fans. Misha Collins admitted at a con that he’d read fanfiction of Cas while he was filming season 4, but it’s pretty clear even from the first season that the creators, at the very least Eric Kripke, were engaging with fans. The show aired around the same time as Twitter and Tumblr were created, both of which opened up new passageways for fans to interact with each other, and for Twitter and Facebook especially, new passageways for fans to interact with creators and celebrities.

But being the creators, they have ultimate control over what is written, filmed and aired, while we can only speculate and make our own transformative interpretations. But at least since s4, they have engaged in meta narrative construction that at once speaks to fans as well as expands the universe in fun and creative ways. My favourite episodes are the ones where we see the Winchesters through the lens of other characters, such as the season 3 episode “Jus In Bello,” in which Sam and Dean are arrested by Victor Henriksen, and the season 7 episode “Slash Fiction” in which Dean and Sam’s dopplegangers rob banks and kill a bunch of people, loathe as I am to admit that season 7 had an effect on any part of me except my upchuck reflex. My second favourite episodes are the meta episodes, and for this episode of Holy Hell, we’ll be discussing a few: The French Mistake, he Monster at the end of this book, the real ghostbusters, Fan Fiction, Metafiction, and Don’t Call Me Shurley. I’ll also discuss Becky more broadly, because, like, of course I’ll be discussing Becky, she died for our sins. 

Let’s take it back. The Monster At The End Of This Book — written by Julie Siege and Nancy Weiner and directed by Mike Rohl. Inarguably one of the better episodes in the first five seasons. Not only is Cas in it, looking so beautiful, but Sam gets something to do, thank god, and it introduces the character of Chuck, who becomes a source of comic relief over the next two seasons. The episode starts with Chuck Shurley, pen named Carver Edlund after my besties, having a vision while passed out drunk. He dreams of Sam and Dean larping as Feds and finding a series of books based on their lives that Chuck has written. They eventually track Chuck down, interrogate him, and realise that he’s a prophet of the lord, tasked with writing the Winchester Gospels. The B plot is Sam plotting to kill Lilith while Dean fails to get them out of the town to escape her. The C plot is Dean and Cas having a moment that strengthens their friendship and leads further into Cas’s eventual disobedience for Dean. Like the movie Disobedience. Exactly like the movie Disobedience. Cas definitely spits in Dean’s mouth, it’s kinda gross to be honest. Maybe I’m just not allo enough to appreciate art. 

When Eric Kripke was showrunner of the first five seasons of Supernatural,  he conceptualised the character of Chuck. Kripke as the author-god introduced the character of the author-prophet who would later become in Jeremy Carver’s showrun seasons the biblical God. Judith May Fathallah writes in “I’m A God: The Author and the Writing Fan in Supernatural” that Kripke writes himself both into and out of the text, ending his era with Chuck winking at the camera, saying, “nothing really ends,” and disappearing. Kripke stayed on as producer, continuing to write episodes through Sera Gamble’s era, and was even inserted in text in the season 6 episode “The French Mistake”. So nothing really does end, not Kripke’s grip on the show he created, not even the show itself, which fans have jokingly referred to as continuing into its 16th season. Except we’re not joking. It will die when all of us are dead, when there is no one left to remember it. According to W R Fisher, humans are homo narrans, natural storytellers. The Supernatural fandom is telling a fidelitous narrative, one which matches our own beliefs, values and experiences instead of that of canon. Instead of, at Fathallah says, “the Greek tradition, that we should struggle to do the right thing simply because it is right, though we will suffer and be punished anyway,” the fans have created an ending for the characters that satisfies each and every one of our desires, because we each create our own endings. It’s better because we get to share them with each other, in the tradition of campfire stories, each telling our own version and building upon the others. If that’s not the epitome of mythmaking then I don’t know. It’s just great. Dean and Cas are married, Eileen and Sam are married, Jack is sometimes a baby who Claire and Kaia are forced to babysit, Jody and Donna are gonna get hitched soon. It’s season 17, time for many weddings, and Kevin Tran is alive. Kripke, you have no control over this anymore, you crusty hag. 

Chuck is introduced as someone with power, but not influence over the story, only how the story is told through the medium of the novels. It’s basically a very badly written, non authorised biography, and Charlie reading literally every book and referencing things she should have no knowledge of is so damn creepy and funny. At first Chuck is surprised by his characters coming to life, despite having written it already, and when shown the intimidating array of weapons in Baby’s trunk he gets real scared. Which is the appropriate response for a skinny 5-foot-8 white guy in a bathrobe who writes terrible fantasy novels for a living. 

As far as I can remember, this is the first explicitly metanarrative episode in the series, or at least the first one with in world consequences. It builds upon the lore of Christianity, angels, and God, while teasing what’s to come. Chuck and Sam have a conversation about how the rest of the season is going to play out, and Sam comes away with the impression that he’ll go down with the ship. They touch on Sam’s addiction to demon blood, which Chuck admits he didn’t write into the books, because in the world of supernatural, addiction should be demonised ha ha at every opportunity, except for Dean’s alcoholism which is cool and manly and should never be analysed as an unhealthy trauma coping mechanism. 

Chuck is mostly impotent in the story of Sam and Dean, but his very presence presents an element of good luck that turns quickly into a force of antagonism in the series four finale, “Lucifer Rising”, when the archangel Raphael who defeats Lilith in this episode also kills Cas in the finale. It’s Cas’s quick thinking and Dean’s quick doing that resolve the episode and save them from Lilith, once again proving that free will is the greatest force in the universe. Cas is already tearing up pages and burning scripts. The fandom does the same, acting as gods of their own making in taking canon and transforming it into fan art. The fans aren’t impotent like Chuck, but neither do we have sway over the story in the way that Cas and Dean do. Sam isn’t interested in changing the story in the same way—he wants to kill Lilith and save the world, but in doing so continues the story in the way it was always supposed to go, the way the angels and the demons and even God wanted him to. 

Neither of them are author-gods in the way that God is. We find out later that Chuck is in fact the real biblical god, and he engineers everything. The one thing he doesn’t engineer, however, is Castiel, and I’ll get to that in a minute.

The Real Ghostbusters

Season 5’s “The real ghostbusters,” written by Nancy Weiner and Erik Kripke, and directed by James L Conway, situates the Winchesters at a fan convention for the Supernatural books. While there, they are confronted by a slew of fans cosplaying as Sam, Dean, Bobby, the scarecrow, Azazel, and more. They happen to stumble upon a case, in the midst of the game where the fans pretend to be on a case, and with the help of two fans cosplaying as Sam and Dean, they put to rest a group of homicidal ghost children and save the day. Chuck as the special guest of the con has a hero moment that spurs Becky on to return his affections. And at the end, we learn that the Colt, which they’ve been hunting down to kill the devil, was given to a demon named Crowley. It’s a fun episode, but ultimately skippable. This episode isn’t so much metanarrative as it is metatextual—metatextual meaning more than one layer of text but not necessarily about the storytelling in those texts—but let’s take a look at it anyway.

The metanarrative element of a show about a series of books about the brothers the show is based on is dope and expands upon what we saw in “the monster at the end of this book”. But the episode tells a tale about about the show itself, and the fandom that surrounds it. 

Where “The Monster At The End Of This Book” and the season 5 premiere “Sympathy For The Devil” poked at the coiled snake of fans and the concept of fandom, “the real ghostbusters” drags them into the harsh light of an enclosure and antagonises them in front of an audience. The metanarrative element revolves around not only the books themselves, but the stories concocted within the episode: namely Barnes and Demian the cosplayers and the story of the ghosts. The Winchester brothers’s history that we’ve seen throughout the first five seasons of the show is bared in a tongue in cheek way: while we cried with them when Sam and Dean fought with John, now the story is thrown out in such a way as to mock both the story and the fans’ relationship to it. Let me tell you, there is a lot to be made fun of on this show, but the fans’ relationship to the story of Sam, Dean and everyone they encounter along the way isn’t part of it. I don’t mean to be like, wow you can’t make fun of us ever because we’re special little snowflakes and we take everything so seriously, because you are welcome to make fun of us, but when the creators do it, I can’t help but notice a hint of malice. And I think that’s understandable in a way. Like The relationship between creator and fan is both layered and symbiotic. While Kripke and co no doubt owe the show’s popularity to the fans, especially as the fandom has grown and evolved over time, we’re not exactly free of sin. And don’t get me wrong, no fandom is. But the bad apples always seem to outweigh the good ones, and bad experiences can stick with us long past their due.

However, portraying us as losers with no lives who get too obsessed with this show — well, you know, actually, maybe they’re right. I am a loser with no life and I am too obsessed with this show. So maybe they have a point. But they’re so harsh about it. From wincestie Becky who they paint as a desperate shrew to these cosplayers who threaten Dean’s very perception of himself, we’re not painted in a very good light. 

Dean says to Demian and Barnes, “It must be nice to get out of your mom’s basement.” He’s judging them for deriving pleasure from dressing up and pretending to be someone else for a night. He doesn’t seem to get the irony that he does that for a living. As the seasons wore on, the creators made sure to include episodes where Dean’s inner geek could run rampant, often in the form of dressing up like a cowboy, such as season six “Frontierland” and season 13 “Tombstone”. I had to take a break from writing this to laugh for five minutes because Dean is so funny. He’s a car gay but he only likes one car. He doesn’t follow sports. His echolalia causes him to blurt out lines from his favourite movies. He’s a posse magnet. And he loves cosplay. But he will continually degrade and insult anyone who expresses interest in role play, fandom, or interests in general. Maybe that’s why Sam is such a boring person, because Dean as his mother didn’t allow him to have any interests outside of hunting. And when Sam does express interests, Dean insults him too. What a dick. He’s my soulmate, but I am not going to stop listening to hair metal for him. That’s where I draw the line. 

 Where “the monster at the end of this book” is concerned with narrative and authorship, “the real ghostbusters” is concerned with fandom and fan reactions to the show. It’s not really the best example to talk about in an episode about metanarrativity, but I wanted to include it anyway. It veers from talk of narrative by focusing on the people in the periphery of the narrative—the fans and the author. In season 9 “Metafiction,” Metatron asks the question, who gives the story meaning? The text would have you believe it’s the characters. The angels think it’s God. The fandom think it’s us. The creators think it’s them. Perhaps we will never come to a consensus or even a satisfactory answer to this question. Perhaps that’s the point.

The ultimate takeaway from this episode is that ordinary people, the people Sam and Dean save, the people they save the world for, the people they die for again and again, are what give their story meaning. Chuck defeats a ghost and saves the people in the conference room from being murdered. Demian and Barnes, don’t ask me which is which, burn the bodies of the ghost children and lay their spirits to rest. The text says that ordinary, every day people can rise to the challenge of becoming extraordinary. It’s not a bad note to end on, by any means. And then we find out that Demian and Barnes are a couple, which of course Dean is surprised at, because he lacks object permanence. 

This is no doubt influenced by how a good portion of the transformative fandom are queer, and also a nod to the wincesties and RPF writers like Becky who continue to bottom feed off the wrong message of this show. But then, the creators encourage that sort of thing, so who are the real clowns here? Everyone. Everyone involved with this show in any way is a clown, except for the crew, who were able to feed their families for more than a decade. 

Okay side note… over the past year or so I’ve been in process of realising that even in fandom queers are in the minority. I know the statistic is that 10% of the world population is queer, but that doesn’t seem right to me? Maybe because 4/5 closest friends are queer and I hang around queers online, but I also think I lack object permanence when it comes to straight people. Like I just do not interact with straight people on a regular basis outside of my best friend and parents and school. So when I hear that someone in fandom is straight I’m like, what the fuck… can you keep that to yourself please? Like if I saw Misha Collins coming out as straight I would be like, I didn’t ask and you didn’t have to tell. Okay I’m mostly joking, but I do forget straight people exist. Mostly I don’t think about whether people are gay or trans or cis or straight unless they’ve explicitly said it and then yes it does colour my perception of them, because of course it would. If they’re part of the queer community, they’re my people. And if they’re straight and cis, then they could very well pose a threat to me and my wellbeing. But I never ask people because it’s not my business to ask. If they feel comfortable enough to tell me, that’s awesome.  I think Dean feels the same way. Towards the later seasons at least, he has a good reaction when it’s revealed that someone is queer, even if it is mostly played off as a joke. It’s just that he doesn’t have a frame of reference in his own life to having a gay relationship, either his or someone he’s close to. He says to Cesar and Jesse in season 11 “The Critters” that they fight like brothers, because that’s the only way he knows how to conceptualise it. He doesn’t have a way to categorise his and Cas’s relationship, which is in many ways, long before season 15 “Despair,” harking back even to the parallels between Ruby and Cas in season 3 and 4, a romantic one, aside from that Cas is like a brother to him. Because he’s never had anyone in his life care for him the way Cas does that wasn’t Sam and Bobby, and he doesn’t recognise the romantic element of their relationship until literally Cas says it to him in the third last episode, he just—doesn’t know what his and Cas’s relationship is. He just really doesn’t know. And he grew up with a father who despised him for taking the mom and wife role in their family, the role that John placed him in, for being subservient to John’s wishes where Sam was more rebellious, so of course he wouldn’t understand either his own desires or those of anyone around him who isn’t explicitly shoving their tits in his face. He moulded his entire personality around what he thought John wanted of him, and John says to him explicitly in season 14 “Lebanon”, “I thought you’d have a family,” meaning, like him, wife and two rugrats. And then, dear god, Dean says, thinking of Sam, Cas, Jack, Claire, and Mary, “I have a family.” God that hurts so much. But since for most of his life he hasn’t been himself, he’s been the man he thought his father wanted him to be, he’s never been able to examine his own desires, wants and goals. So even though he’s really good at reading people, he is not good at reading other people’s desires unless they have nefarious intentions. Because he doesn’t recognise what he feels is attraction to men, he doesn’t recognise that in anyone else. 

Okay that’s completely off topic, wow. Getting back to metanarrativity in “The Real Ghostbusters,” I’ll just cap it off by saying that the books in this episode are more a frame for the events than the events themselves. However, there are some good outtakes where Chuck answers some questions, and I’m not sure how much of that is scripted and how much is Rob Benedict just going for it, but it lends another element to the idea of Kripke as author-god. The idea of a fan convention is really cool, because at this point Supernatural conventions had been running for about 4 years, since 2006. It’s definitely a tribute to the fans, but also to their own self importance. So it’s a mixed bag, considering there were plenty of elements in there that show the good side of fandom and fans, but ultimately the Winchesters want nothing to do with it, consider it weird, and threaten Chuck when he says he’ll start releasing books again, which as far as they know is his only source of income. But it’s a fun episode and Dean is a grouchy bitch, so who the holy hell cares?

Season 10 episode “fanfiction” written by my close personal friend Robbie Thompson and directed by Phil Sgriccia is one of the funniest episodes this show has ever done. Not only is it full of metatextual and metanarrative jokes, the entire premise revolves around fanservice, but in like a fun and interesting way, not fanservice like killing the band Kansas so that Dean can listen to “Carry On My Wayward Son” in heaven twice. Twice. One version after another. Like I would watch this musical seven times in theatre, I would buy the soundtrack, I would listen to it on repeat and make all my friends listen to it when they attend my online Jitsi birthday party. This musical is my Hamilton. Top ten episodes of this show for sure. The only way it could be better is if Cas was there. And he deserved to be there. He deserved to watch little dyke Castiel make out with her girlfriend with her cute little wings, after which he and Dean share uncomfortable eye contact. Dean himself is forever coming to terms with the fact that gay people exist, but Cas should get every opportunity he can to hear that it’s super cool and great and awesome to be queer. But really he should be in every episode, all of them, all 300 plus episodes including the ones before angels were introduced. I’m going to commission the guy who edits Paddington into every movie to superimpose Cas standing on the highway into every episode at least once.

“Fan Fiction” starts with a tv script and the words “Supernatural pilot created by Eric Kripke”. This Immediately sets up the idea that it’s toying with narrative. Blah blah blah, some people go missing, they stumble into a scene from their worst nightmares: the school is putting on a musical production of a show inspired by the Supernatural books. It’s a comedy of errors. When people continue to go missing, Sam and Dean have to convince the girls that something supernatural is happening, while retaining their dignity and respect. They reveal that they are the real Sam and Dean, and Dean gives the director Marie a summary of their lives over the last five seasons, but they aren’t taken seriously. Because, like, of course they aren’t. Even when the girls realise that something supernatural is happening, they don’t actually believe that the musical they’ve made and the series of books they’re basing it on are real. Despite how Sam and Dean Winchester were literal fugitives for many years at many different times, and this was on the news, and they were wanted by the FBI, despite how they pretend to be FBI, and no one mentions it??? Did any of the staffwriters do the required reading or just do what I used to do for my 40 plus page readings of Baudrillard and just skim the first sentence of every paragraph? Neat hack for you: paragraphs are set up in a logical order of Topic, Example, Elaboration, Linking sentence. Do you have to read 60 pages of some crusty French dude waxing poetic about how his best friend Pierre wants to shag his wife and making that your problem? Read the first and last sentence of every paragraph. Boom, done. Just cut your work in half. 

The musical highlights a lot of the important moments of the show so far. The brothers have, as Charlie Bradbury says, their “broment,” and as Marie says, their “boy melodrama scene,” while she insinuates that there is a sexual element to their relationship. This show never passed up an opportunity to mention incest. It’s like: mentioning incest 5000 km, not being disgusting 1 km, what a hard decision. Actually, they do have to walk on their knees for 100 miles through the desert repenting. But there are other moments—such as Mary burning on the ceiling, a classic, Castiel waiting for Dean at the side of the highway, and Azazel poisoning Sam. With the help of the high schoolers, Sam and Dean overcome Calliope, the muse and bad guy of the episode, and save the day. What began as their lives reinterpreted and told back to them turns into a story they have some agency over.

In this episode, as opposed to “The Monster At The End Of This Book,” The storytelling has transferred from an alcoholic in a bathrobe into the hands of an overbearing and overachieving teenage girl, and honestly why not. Transformative fiction is by and large run by women, and queer women, so Marie and her stage manager slash Jody Mills’s understudy Maeve are just following in the footsteps of legends. This kind of really succinctly summarises the difference between curative fandom and transformative fandom, the former of which is populated mostly by men, and the latter mostly by women. As defined by LordByronic in 2015, Curative fandom is more like enjoying the text, collecting the merchandise, organising the knowledge — basically Reddit in terms of fandom curation. Transformative fandom is transforming the source text in some way — making fanart, fanfic, mvs, or a musical — basically Tumblr in general, and Archive of our own specifically. Like what do non fandom people even do on Tumblr? It is a complete mystery to me. Whereas Chuck literally writes himself into the narrative he receives through visions, Marie and co have agency and control over the narrative by writing it themselves. 

Chuck does appear in the episode towards the end, his first appearance after five seasons. The theory that he killed those lesbian theatre girls makes me wanna curl up and die, so I don’t subscribe to it. Chuck watched the musical and he liked it and he gave unwarranted notes and then he left, the end.

The Supernatural creative team is explicitly acknowledging the fandom’s efforts by making this episode. They’re writing us in again, with more obsessive fans, but with lethbians this time, which makes it infinitely better. And instead of showing us as potential date rapists, we’re just cool chicks who like to make art. And that’s fucken awesome. 

I just have to note that the characters literally say the word Destiel after Dean sees the actors playing Dean and Cas making out. He storms off and tells Sam to shut the fuck up when Sam makes fun of him, because Dean’s sexuality is NOT threatened he just needs to assert his dominance as a straight hetero man who has NEVER looked at another man’s lips and licked his own. He just… forgets that gay people exist until someone reminds him. BUT THEN, after a rousing speech that is stolen from Rent or Wicked or something, he echoes Marie’s words back, saying “put as much sub into that text as you possibly can.” What does Dean know about subbing, I wonder. Okay I’m suddenly reminded that he did literally go to a kink bar and get hit on by a leather daddy. Oh Dean, the experiences you have as a broad-shouldered, pixie-faced man with cowboy legs. You were born for this role.

Metatron is my favourite villain. As one tumblr user pointed out, he is an evil English literature major, which is just a normal English literature major. The season nine episode “Meta Fiction” written by my main man robbie thompson and directed by thomas j wright, happens within a curious season. Castiel, once again, becomes the leader of a portion of the heavenly host to take down Metatron, and Dean is affected by the Mark Of Cain. Sam was recently possessed by Gadreel, who killed Kevin in Sam’s body and then decided to run off with Metatron. Metatron himself is recruiting angels to join him, in the hopes that he can become the new God. It’s the first introduction of Hannah, who encourages Cas to recruit angels himself to take on Metatron. Also, we get to see Gabriel again, who is always a delight. 

This episode is a lot of fun. Metatron poses questions like, who tells a story and who is the most important person in the telling? Is it the writer? The audience? He starts off staring over his typewriter to address the camera, like a pompous dickhead. No longer content with consuming stories, he’s started to write his own. And they are hubristic ones about becoming God, a better god than Chuck ever was, but to do it he needs to kill a bunch of people and blame it on Cas. So really, he’s actually exactly like Chuck who blamed everything on Lucifer. 

But I think the most apt analogy we can use for this in terms of who is the creator is to think of Metatron as a fanfiction writer. He consumes the media—the Winchester Gospels—and starts to write his own version of events—leading an army to become God and kill Cas. Nevermind that no one has been able to kill Cas in a way that matters or a way that sticks. Which is canon, and what Metatron is trying to do is—well not fanon because it actually does impact the Winchesters’ storyline. It would be like if one of the writers of Supernatural began writing Supernatural fanfiction before they got a job on the show. Which as my generation and the generations coming after me get more comfortable with fanfiction and fandom, is going to be the case for a lot of shows. I think it’s already the case for Riverdale. Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the woman who wrote the bi Dean essay go to work on Riverdale? Or something? I dunno, I have the post saved in my tumblr likes but that is quagmire of epic proportions that I will easily get lost in if I try to find it. 

Okay let me flex my literary degree. As Englund and Leach say in “Ethnography and the metanarratives of modernity,” “The influential “literary turn,” in which the problems of ethnography were seen as largely textual and their solutions as lying in experimental writing seems to have lost its impetus.” This can be taken to mean, in the context of Supernatural, that while Metatron’s writings seek to forge a new path in history, forgoing fate for a new kind of divine intervention, the problem with Metatron is that he’s too caught up in the textual, too caught up in the writing, to be effectual. And this as we see throughout seasons 9, 10 and 11, has no lasting effect. Cas gets his grace back, Dean survives, and Metatron becomes a powerless human. In this case, the impetus is his grace, which he loses when Cas cuts it out of him, a mirror to Metatron cutting out Cas’s grace. 

However, I realise that the concept of ethnography in Supernatural is a flawed one, ethnography being the observation of another culture: a lot of the angels observe humanity and seem to fit in. However, Cas has to slowly acclimatise to the Winchesters as they tame him, but he never quite fit in—missing cues, not understanding jokes or Dean’s personal space, the scene where he says, “We have a guinea pig? Where?” Show him the guinea pig Sam!!! He wants to see it!!! At most he passes as a human with autism. Cas doesn’t really observe humanity—he observes nature, as seen in season 7 “reading is fundamental” and “survival of the fittest”. Even the human acts he talks about in season 6 “the man who would be king” are from hundreds or thousands of years ago. He certainly doesn’t observe popular culture, which puts him at odds with Dean, who is made up of 90 per cent pop culture references and 10 per cent flannel. Metatron doesn’t seek to blend in with humanity so much as control it, which actually is the most apt example of ethnography for white people in the last—you know, forever. But of course the writers didn’t seek to make this analogy. It is purely by chance, and maybe I’m the only person insane enough to realise it. But probably not. There are a lot of cookies much smarter than me in the Supernatural fandom and they’ve like me have grown up and gone to university and gotten real jobs in the real world and real haircuts. I’m probably the only person to apply Englund and Leach to it though.

And yes, as I read this paper I did need to have one tab open on Google, with the word “define” in the search bar. 

Metatron has a few lines in this that I really like. He says: 

“The universe is made up of stories, not atoms.”

“You’re going to have to follow my script.”

“I’m an entity of my word.”

It’s really obvious, but they’re pushing the idea that Metatron has become an agent of authorship instead of just a consumer of media. He even throws a Supernatural book into his fire — a symbolic act of burning the script and flipping the writer off, much like Cas did to God and the angels in season 5. He’s not a Kripke figure so much as maybe a Gamble, Carver or Dabb figure, in that he usurps Chuck and becomes the author-god. This would be extremely postmodern of him if he didn’t just do exactly what Chuck was doing, except worse somehow. In fact, it’s postmodern of Cas to reject heaven’s narrative and fall for Dean. As one tumblr user points out, Cas really said “What’s fate compared to Dean Winchester?”

Okay this transcript is almost 8000 words already, and I still have two more episodes to review, and more things to say, so I’ll leave you with this. Metatron says to Cas, “Out of all of God’s wind up toys, you’re the only one with any spunk.” Why Cas has captured his attention comes down more than anything to a process of elimination. Most angels fucking suck. They follow the rules of whoever puts themselves in charge, and they either love Cas or hate him, or just plainly wanna fuck him, and there have been few angels who stood out. Balthazar was awesome, even though I hated him the first time I watched season 6. He UNSUNK the Titanic. Legend status. And Gabriel was of course the OG who loves to fuck shit up. But they’re gone at this stage in the narrative, and Cas survives. Cas always survives. He does have spunk. And everyone wants to fuck him.  

Season 11 episode 20 “Don’t Call Me Shurley,” the last episode written by the Christ like figure of Robbie Thompson — are we sensing a theme here? — and directed by my divine enemy Robert Singer, starts with Metatron dumpster diving for food. I’m not even going to bother commenting on this because like… it’s supernatural and it treats complex issues like homelessness and poverty with zero nuance. Like the Winchesters live in poverty but it’s fun and cool because they always scrape by but Metatron lives in poverty and it’s funny. Cas was homeless and it was hard but he needed to do it to atone for his sins, and Metatron is homeless and it’s funny because he brought it on himself by being a murderous dick. Fucking hell. Robbie, come on. The plot focuses on God, also known as Chuck Shurley, making himself known to Metatron and asking for Metatron’s opinion on his memoir. Meanwhile, the Winchesters battle another bout of infectious serial killer fog sent by Amara. At the end of the episode, Chuck heals everyone affected by the fog and reveals himself to Sam and Dean. 

Chuck says that he didn’t foresee Metatron trying to become god, but the idea of Season 15 is that Chuck has been writing the Winchesters’ story all their lives. When Metatron tries, he fails miserably, is locked up in prison, tortured by Dean, then rendered useless as a human and thrown into the world without a safety net. His authorship is reduced to nothing, and he is reduced to dumpster diving for food. He does actually attempt to live his life as someone who records tragedies as they happen and sells the footage to news stations, which is honestly hilarious and amazing and completely unsurprising because Metatron is, at the heart of it, an English Literature major. In true bastard style, he insults Chuck’s work and complains about the bar, but slips into his old role of editor when Chuck asks him to. 

The theory I’m consulting for this uses the term metanarrative in a different way than I am. They consider it an overarching narrative, a grand narrative like religion. Chuck’s biography is in a sense most loyal to Middleton and Walsh’s view of metanarrative: “the universal story of the world from arche to telos, a grand narrative encompassing world history from beginning to end.” Except instead of world history, it’s God’s history, and since God is construed in Supernatural as just some guy with some powers who is as fallible as the next some guy with some powers, his story has biases and agendas.  Okay so in the analysis I’m getting Middleton and Walsh’s quotes from, James K A Smith’s “A little story about metanarratives,” Smith dunks on them pretty bad, but for Supernatural purposes their words ring true. Think of them as the BuckLeming of Lyotard’s postmodern metanarrative analysis: a stopped clock right twice a day. Is anyone except me understanding the sequence of words I’m saying right now. Do I just have the most specific case of brain worms ever found in human history. I’m currently wearing my oversized Keith Haring shirt and dipping pretzels into peanut butter because it’s 3.18 in the morning and the homosexuals got to me. The total claims a comprehensive metanarrative of world history make do indeed, as Middleton and Walsh claim, lead to violence, stay with me here, because Chuck’s legacy is violence, and so is Metatron’s, and in trying to reject the metanarrative, Sam and Dean enact violence. Mostly Dean, because in season 15 he sacrifices his own son twice to defeat Chuck. But that means literally fighting violence with violence. Violence is, after all, all they know. Violence is the lens through which they interact with the world. If the writers wanted to do literally anything else, they could have continued Dean’s natural character progression into someone who eschews the violence that stems from intergeneration trauma — yes I will continue to use the phrase intergenerational trauma whenever I refer to Dean — and becomes a loving father and husband. Sam could eschew violence and start a monster rehabilitation centre with Eileen.

This episode of Holy Hell is me frantically grabbing at straws to make sense of a narrative that actively hates me and wants to kick me to death. But the violence Sam and Dean enact is not at a metanarrative level, because they are not author-gods of their own narrative. In season 15 “Atomic Monsters,” Becky points out that the ending of the Supernatural book series is bad because the brothers die, and then, in a shocking twist of fate, Dean does die, and the narrative is bad. The writers set themselves a goal post to kick through and instead just slammed their heat into the bars. They set up the dartboard and were like, let’s aim the darts at ourselves. Wouldn’t that be fun. Season 15’s writing is so grossly incompetent that I believe every single conspiracy theory that’s come out of the finale since November, because it’s so much more compelling than whatever the fuck happened on the road so far. Carry on? Why yes, I think I will carry on, carry on like a pork chop, screaming at the bars of my enclosure until I crack my voice open like an egg and spill out all my rage and frustration. The world will never know peace again. It’s now 3.29 and I’ve written over 9000 words of this transcript. And I’m not done.

Middleton and Walsh claim that metanarratives are merely social constructions masquerading as universal truths. Which is, exactly, Supernatural. The creators have constructed this elaborate web of narrative that they want to sell us as the be all and end all. They won’t let the actors discuss how they really feel about the finale. They won’t let Misha Collins talk about Destiel. They want us to believe it was good, actually, that Dean, a recovering alcoholic with a 30 year old infant son and a husband who loves him, deserved to die by getting NAILED, while Sam, who spent the last four seasons, the entirety of Andrew Dabb’s run as showrunner, excelling at creating a hunter network and romancing both the queen of hell and his deaf hunter girlfriend, should have lived a normie life with a normie faceless wife. Am I done? Not even close. I started this episode and I’m going to finish it.

When we find out that Chuck is God in the episode of season 11, it turns everything we knew about Chuck on its head. We find out in Season 15 that Chuck has been writing the Winchesters’ story all along, that everything that happened to them is his doing. The one thing he couldn’t control was Cas’s choice to rebel. If we take him at his word, Cas is the only true force of free will in the entire universe, and more specifically, the love that Cas had for Dean which caused him to rebel and fall from heaven. — This theory has holes of course. Why would Lucifer torture Lilith into becoming the first demon if he didn’t have free will? Did Chuck make him do that? And why? So that Chuck could be the hero and Lucifer the bad guy, like Lucifer claimed all along? That’s to say nothing of Adam and Eve, both characters the show introduced in different ways, one as an antagonist and the other as the narrative foil to Dean and Cas’s romance. Thinking about it makes my head hurt, so I’m just not gunna. 

So Chuck was doing the writing all along. And as Becky claims in “Atomic Monsters,” it’s bad writing. The writers explicitly said, the ending Chuck wrote is bad because there’s no Cas and everyone dies, and then they wrote an ending where there is no Cas and everyone dies. So talk about self-fulfilling prophecies. Talk about giant craters in the earth you could see from 800 kilometres away but you still fell into. Meanwhile fan writers have the opportunity to write a million different endings, all of which satisfy at least one person. The fandom is a hydra, prolific and unstoppable, and we’ll keep rewriting the ending a million more times.

And all this is not even talking about the fact that Chuck is a man, Metatron is a man, Sam and Dean and Cas are men, and the writers and directors of the show are, by an overwhelming majority, men. Most of them are white, straight, cis men. Feminist scholarship has done a lot to unpack the damage done by paternalistic approaches to theory, sociology, ethnography, all the -ys, but I propose we go a step further with these men. Kill them. Metanarratively, of course. Amara, the Darkness, God’s sister, had a chance to write her own story without Chuck, after killing everything in the universe, and I think she had the right idea. Knock it all down to build it from the ground up. Billie also had the opportunity to write a narrative, but her folly was, of course, putting any kind of faith in the Winchesters who are also grossly incompetent and often fail up. She is, as all author-gods on this show are, undone by Castiel. The only one with any spunk, the only one who exists outside of his own narrative confines, the only one the author-gods don’t have any control over. The one who died for love, and in dying, gave life. 

The French Mistake

Let’s change the channel. Let’s calm ourselves and cleanse our libras. Let’s commune with nature and chug some sage bongs. 

“The French Mistake” is a song from the Mel Brooks film Blazing Saddles. In the iconic second last scene of the film, as the cowboys fight amongst themselves, the camera pans back to reveal a studio lot and a door through which a chorus of gay dancersingers perform “the French Mistake”. The lyrics go, “Throw out your hands, stick out your tush, hands on your hips, give ‘em a push. You’ll be surprised you’re doing the French Mistake.” 

I’m not sure what went through the heads of the Supernatural creators when they came up with the season 6 episode, “The French Mistake,” written by the love of my life Ben Edlund and directed by some guy Charles Beeson. Just reading the Wikipedia summary is so batshit incomprehensible. In short: Balthazar sends Sam and Dean to an alternate universe where they are the actors Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, who play Sam and Dean on the tv show Supernatural. I don’t think this had ever been done in television history before. The first seven seasons of this show are certifiable. Like this was ten years ago. Think about the things that have happened in the last 10 slutty, slutty years. We have lived through atrocities and upheaval and the entire world stopping to mourn, but also we had twitter throughout that entire time, which makes it infinitely worse.

In this universe, Sam and Dean wear makeup, Cas is played by attractive crying man Misha Collins, and Genevieve Padalecki nee Cortese makes an appearance. Magic doesn’t exist, Serge has good ideas, and the two leads have to act in order to get through the day. Sorry man I do not know how to pronounce your name.

Sidenote: I don’t know if me being attracted aesthetically to Misha Collins is because he’s attractive, because this show has gaslighted me into thinking he’s attractive, or because Castiel’s iconic entrance in 2008 hit my developing mind like a torpedo full of spaghetti and blew my fucking brains all over the place. It’s one of life’s little mysteries and God’s little gifts.

Let’s talk about therapy. More specifically, “Agency and purpose in narrative therapy: questioning the postmodern rejection of metanarrative” by Cameron Lee. In this paper, Lee outlines four key ideas as proposed by Freedman and Combs:

Realities are socially constructed

Realities are constituted through language

Realities are organised and maintained through narrative

And there are no essential truths.

Let’s break this down in the case of this episode. Realities are socially constructed: the reality of Sam and Dean arose from the Bush era. Do I even need to elaborate? From what I understand with my limited Australian perception, and being a child at the time, 9/11 really was a prominent shifting point in the last twenty years. As Americans describe it, sometimes jokingly, it was the last time they were really truly innocent. That means to me that until they saw the repercussions of their government’s actions in funding turf wars throughout the middle east for a good chunk of the 20th Century, they allowed themselves to be hindered by their own ignorance. The threat of terrorism ran rampant throughout the States, spurred on by right wing nationalists and gun-toting NRA supporters, so it’s really no surprise that the show Supernatural started with the premise of killing everything in sight and driving around with only your closest kin and a trunk full of guns. Kripke constructed that reality from the social-political climate of the time, and it has wrought untold horrors on the minds of lesbians who lived through the noughties, in that we are now attracted to Misha Collins.

Number two: Realities are constituted through language. Before a show can become a show, it needs to be a script. It’s written down, typed up, and given to actors who say the lines out loud. In this respect, they are using the language of speech and words to convey meaning. But tv shows are not all about words, and they’re barely about scripts. From what I understand of being raised by television, they are about action, visuals, imagery, and behaviours. All of the work that goes into them—the scripts, the lighting, the audio, the sound mixing, the cameras, the extras, the ADs, the gaffing, the props, the stunts, everything—is about conveying a story through the medium of images. In that way, images are the language. The reality of the show Supernatural, inside the show Supernatural, is constituted through words: the script, the journalists talking to Sam, the makeup artist taking off Dean’s makeup, the conversations between the creators, the tweets Misha sends. But also through imagery: the fish tank in Jensen’s trailer, the model poses on the front cover of the magazine, the opulence of Jared’s house, Misha’s iconic sweater. Words and images are the language that constitutes both of these realities. Okay for real, I feel like I’ve only seen this episode max three times, including when I watched it for research for this episode, but I remember so much about it. 

Number three: realities are organised and maintained through narrative. In this universe of the French Mistake, their lives are structured around two narratives: the internal narrative of the show within the show, in which they are two actors on a tv set; and the episode narrative in which they need to keep the key safe and return to their own universe. This is made difficult by the revelation that magic doesn’t work in this universe, however, they find a way. Before they can get back, though, an avenging angel by the name of Virgil guns down author-god Eric Kripke and tries to kill the Winchesters. However, they are saved by Balthazar and the freeze frame and brought back into their own world, the world of Supernatural the show, not Supernatural the show within the show within the nesting doll. And then that reality is done with, never to be revisited or even mentioned, but with an impact that has lasted longer than the second Bush administration.

And number four: there are no essential truths. This one is a bit tricky because I can’t find what Lee means by essential truths, so I’m just going to interpret that. To me, essential truths means what lies beneath the narratives we tell ourselves. Supernatural was a show that ran for 15 years. Supernatural had actors. Supernatural was showrun by four different writers. In the show within a show, there is nothing, because that ceases to exist for longer than the forty two minute episode “The French Mistake”. And since Supernatural no longer exists except in our computers, it is nothing too. It is only the narratives we tell ourselves to sleep better at night, to wake up in the morning with a smile, to get through the day, to connect with other people, to understand ourselves better. It’s not even the narrative that the showrunners told, because they have no agency over it as soon as it shows up on our screens. The essential truth of the show is lost in the translation from creating to consuming. Who gives the story meaning? The people watching it and the people creating it. We all do. 

Lee says that humans are predisposed to construct narratives in order to make sense of the world. We see this in cultures from all over the world: from cave paintings to vases, from The Dreaming to Beowulf, humans have always constructed stories. The way you think about yourself is a story that you’ve constructed. The way you interact with your loved ones and the furries you rightfully cyberbully on Twitter is influenced by the narratives you tell yourself about them. And these narratives are intricate, expansive, personalised, and can colour our perceptions completely, so that we turn into a different person when we interact with one person as opposed to another. 

Whatever happened in season 6, most of which I want to forget, doesn’t interest me in the way I’m telling myself the writers intended. For me, the entirety of season 6 was based around the premise of Cas being in love with Dean, and the complete impotence of this love. He turns up when Dean calls, he agonises as he watches Dean rake leaves and live his apple pie life with Lisa, and Dean is the person he feels most horribly about betraying. He says, verbatim, to Sam, “Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” And Balthazar says, “You’re confusing me with the other angel, the one in the dirty trenchcoat who’s in love with you.” He says this in season 6, and we couldn’t do a fucken thing about it. 

The song “The French Mistake” shines a light on the hidden scene of gay men performing a gay narrative, in the midst of a scene about the manliest profession you can have: professional horse wrangler, poncho wearer, and rodeo meister, the cowboy. If this isn’t a perfect encapsulation of the lovestory between Dean and Cas, which Ben Edlund has been championing from day fucking one of Misha Collins walking onto that set with his sex hair and chapped lips, then I don’t know what the fuck we’re even doing here. What in the hell else could it possibly mean. The layers to this. The intricacy. The agendas. The subtextual AND blatant queerness. The micro aggressions Crowley aimed at Car in “The Man Who Would Be King,” another Bedlund special. Bed Edlund is a fucking genius. Bed Edlund is cool girl. Ben Edlund is the missing link. Bed Edlund IS wikileaks. Ben Edlund is a cool breeze on a humid summer day. Ben Edlund is the stop loading button on a browser tab. Ben Edlund is the perfect cross between Spotify and Apple Music, in which you can search for good playlists, but without having to be on Spotify. He can take my keys and fuck my wife. You best believe I’m doing an entire episode of Holy Hell on Bedlund’s top five. He is the reason I want to get into staffwriting on a tv show. I saw season 4 episode “On the head of a pin” when my brain was still torpedoed spaghetti mush from the premiere, and it nestled its way deep into my exposed bones, so that when I finally recovered from that, I was a changed person. My god, this transcript is 11,000 words, and I haven’t even finished the Becky section. Which is a good transition.

Oh, Becky. She is an incarnation of how the writers, or at least Kripke, view the fans. Watching season 5 “Sympathy for the Devil” live in 2009 was a whole fucking trip that I as a baby gay was not prepared for. Figuring out my sexuality was a journey that started with the Supernatural fandom and is in some aspects still raging against the dying of the light today. Add to that, this conception of the audience was this, like, personification of the librarian cellist from Juno, but also completely without boundaries, common sense, or shame. It made me wonder about my position in the narrative as a consumer consuming. Is that how Kripke saw me, specifically? Was I like Becky? Did my forays into DeanCasNatural on El Jay dot com make me a fucking loser whose only claim to fame is writing some nasty fanfiction that I’ve since deleted all traces of? Don’t get me wrong, me and my unhinged Casgirl friends loved Becky. I can’t remember if I ever wrote any fanfiction with her in it because I was mostly writing smut, which is extremely Becky coded of me, but I read some and my friends and I would always chat about her when she came up. She was great entertainment value before season 7. But in the eyes of the powers that be, Becky, like the fans themselves, are expendable. First they turned her into a desperate bride wannabe who drugs Sam so that he’ll be with her, then Chuck waves his hand and she disappears. We’re seeing now with regards to Destiel, Cas, and Misha Collins this erasure of them from the narrative. Becky says in season 15 “Atomic Monsters” that the ending Chuck writes is bad because, for one, there’s no Cas, and that’s exactly what’s happening to the text post-finale. It literally makes me insane akin to the throes of mania to think about the layers of this. They literally said, “No Cas = bad” and now Misha isn’t even allowed to talk in his Cassona voice—at least at the time I wrote that—to the detriment of the fans who care about him. It’s the same shit over and over. They introduce something we like, they realise they have no control over how much we like it, and then they pretend they never introduced it in the first place. Season 7, my god. The only reason Gamble brought back Cas was because the ratings were tanking the show. I didn’t even bother watching most of it live, and would just hear from my friends whether Cas was in the episodes or not. And then Sera, dear Sera, had the gall to say it was a Homer’s Odyssey narrative. I’m rusty on Homer aka I’ve never read it but apparently Odysseus goes away, ends up with a wife on an island somewhere, and then comes back to Terabithia like it never happened. How convenient. But since Sera Gamble loves to bury her gays, we can all guess why Cas was written out of the show: Cas being gay is a threat to the toxic heteronormativity spouted by both the show and the characters themselves. In season 15, after Becky gets her life together, has kids, gets married, and starts a business, she is outgrowing the narrative and Chuck kills her. The fans got Destiel Wedding trending on Twitter, and now the creators are acting like he doesn’t exist. New liver, same eagles.

I have to add an adendum: as of this morning, Sunday 11th, don’t ask me what time that is in Americaland, Misha Collins did an online con/Q&A thing and answered a bunch of questions about Cas and Dean, which goes to show that he cannot be silenced. So the narrative wants to be told. It’s continuing well into it’s 16th or 17th season. It’s going to keep happening and they have no recourse to stop it. So fuck you, Supernatural.

I did write the start of a speech about representation but, who the holy hell cares. I also read some disappointing Masters theses that I hope didn’t take them longer to research and write than this episode of a podcast I’m making for funsies took me, considering it’s the same number of pages. Then again I have the last four months and another 8 years of fandom fuelling my obsession, and when I don’t sleep I write, hence the 4,000 words I knocked out in the last 12 hours. 

Some final words. Lyotard defines postmodernism, the age we live in, as an incredulity towards metanarratives. Modernism was obsessed with order and meaning, but postmodernism seeks to disrupt that. Modernists lived within the frame of the narrative of their society, but postmodernists seek to destroy the frame and live within our own self-written contexts. Okay I love postmodernist theory so this has been a real treat for me. Yoghurt, Sam? Postmodernist theory? Could I BE more gay? 

Middleton and Walsh in their analysis of postmodernism claim that biblical faith is grounded in metanarrative, and explore how this intersects with an era that rejects metanarrative. This is one of the fundamental ideas Supernatural is getting at throughout definitely the last season, but other seasons as well. The narratives of Good vs Evil, Michael vs Lucifer, Dean vs Sam, were encoded into the overarching story of the show from season 1, and since then Sam and Dean have sought to break free of them. Sam broke free of John’s narrative, which was the hunting life, and revenge, and this moralistic machismo that they wrapped themselves up in. If they’re killing the evil, then they’re not the evil. That’s the story they told, and the impetus of the show that Sam was sucked back into. But this thread unravelled in later seasons when Dean became friends with Benny and the idea that all supernatural creatures are inherently evil unravelled as well. While they never completely broke free of John’s hold over them, welcoming Jack into their lives meant confronting a bias that had been ingrained in them since Dean was 4 years old and Sam 6 months. In the face of the question, “are all monsters monstrous?” the narrative loosens its control. Even by questioning it, it throws into doubt the overarching narrative of John’s plan, which is usurped at the end of season 2 when they kill Azazel by Dean’s demon deal and a new narrative unfolds. John as author-god is usurped by the actual God in season 4, who has his own narrative that controls the lives of Sam, Dean and Cas. 

Okay like for real, I do actually think the metanarrativity in Supernatural is something that should be studied by someone other than me, unless you wanna pay me for it and then shit yeah. It is extremely cool to introduce a biographical narrative about the fictional narrative it’s in. It’s cool that the characters are constantly calling this narrative into focus by fighting against it, struggling to break free from their textual confines to live a life outside of the external forces that control them. And the thing is? The really real, honest thing? They have. Sam, Dean and Cas have broken free of the narrative that Kripke, Carver, Gamble and Dabb wrote for them. The very fact that the textual confession of love that Cas has for Dean ushered in a resurgence of fans, fandom and activity that has kept the show trending for five months after it ended, is just phenomenal. People have pointed out that fans stopped caring about Game of Thrones as soon as it ended. Despite the hold they had over tv watchers everywhere, their cultural currency has been spent. The opposite is true for Supernatural. Despite how the finale of the show angered and confused people, it gains more momentum every day. More fanworks, more videos, more fics, more art, more ire, more merch is being generated by the fans still. The Supernatural subreddit, which was averaging a few posts a week by season 15, has been incensed by the finale. And yours truly happily traipsed back into the fandom snake pit after 8 years with a smile on my face and a skip in my step ready to pump that dopamine straight into my veins babeeeeeeyyyyy. It’s been WILD. I recently reconnected with one of my mutuals from 2010 and it’s like nothing’s changed. We’re both still unhinged and we both still simp for Supernatural. Even before season 15, I was obsessed with the podcast Ride Or Die, which I started listening to in late 2019, and Supernatural was always in the back of my mind. You just don’t get over your first fandom. Actually, Danny Phantom was my first fandom, and I remember being 12 talking on Danny Phantom forums to people much too old to be the target audience of the show. So I guess that hasn’t left me either. And the fondest memories I have of Supernatural is how the characters have usurped their creators to become mythic, long past the point they were supposed to die a quiet death. The myth weaving that the Supernatural fandom is doing right now is the legacy that will endure. 

References

I got all of these for free from Google Scholar! 

Judith May Fathallah, “I’m A God: The Author and the Writing Fan in Supernatural.” 

James K A Smith, “A Little Story About Metanarratives: Lyotard, Religion and Postmodernism Revisited.” 2001.

Cameron Lee, “Agency and Purpose in Narrative Therapy: Questioning the Postmodern Rejection of Metanarrative.” 2004.

Harri Englund and James Leach, “Ethnography and the Meta Narratives of Modernity.” 2000.

https://uproxx.com/filmdrunk/mel-brooks-explains-french-mistake-blazing-saddles-blu-ray/

[legendofzelda4life]

Overboard

Day nine wow (sorry i get more and more surprised each day that im having the ability to continue this)

Today we have some Wind and Wild platonic angst (why do i always have to do angst with wild??? *cries*

Hopefully nobody dies but I’ll decide it as I write.

--------------------------------

“Hey, Wild look!” Wind exclaimed. They had recently arrived in Wild’s Hyrule where they were staying at Lurelin for a few days. This town had to have been the furthest thing from Hyrule castle. The closest guardian was all the way near the horse god and even then it was closer to the Gerudo Region.

“What is it?” Wild asked, curious to what the sailor may have found. “That island.” Wind pointed across the water.

“Oh, that’s Eventide island. On top of Koholit rock is Korgu Chideh Shrine.” Wild explained, pointing at the shrine.

“I’m sorry, what rock?” Legend asked from behind the two. “Koholit. Y’know, west of Toronbo beach? I thought you were awake when I was telling Time about it?” Wild said. It was true, the previous night he told Time all about the ranch ruins, Mabe village ruins, Eventide, the Spring of Power, basically anything he thought was suitable.

(anything I thought was a reference to another time lmao, I might make a post later)

“No, I was asleep. It’s been a while since we’ve stayed in comfy beds.” Legend said. He looked like he’d just seen a ghost. Wind hoped he was okay.

“Can we go over there?” Wind asked. “No way, Time put me in charge of you two and I’m not going anywhere near that goddesses forsaken place!” Legend exclaimed. Wild and Wind shared a knowing look before booking it to the closest raft.

“Get back here you idiots!!! Wild is the only one that knows how to fight in this world!!!” Legend yelled as the other two jumped onto the raft. “No way Vet! You guys are safe in the village, if anything we’re the ones in danger!” Wild yelled back with a laugh. “Really?” Wind asked in an excited tone.

“Hell yeah, there’s an over world boss on this island. I think it might be a blue, or second grade, hinox.” Wild explained, taking out his korok leaf.

“Whaddya gonna do with that?” Wind asked, cocking an eyebrow. Wild smirked.

“This.” He swung at the sail and the boat pushed forward. “Cool!” Wind said in awe.

The two boys sailed along but as they got closer to the island, the wind got rougher.

“You okay, Wind?” Wild asked. The younger boy was sitting down, holding some of the rope on the raft. “Yeah it’s just, really... me... out here.” Wild looked at the boy in disbelief.

“Did you just make a pun with your name?” “Yes.” “Dear the goddesses you’re stupid.” “Hey!” “What?”

Wind playfully glared at Wild before the two started laughing. “Anyway, we should go back. This is the closest I’ll take us.” Wild said, taking out an oar to turn the boat around. “Okay.” Wind stood back up excitedly, wanting to tell everybody what happened.

Suddenly, a rather large gust of wind came through. Without anything to grab, the sailor was thrown overboard. Sure, he could handle cyclones but he was in a boat. This was a raft. Y’know, nothing to grab!

“Wind!” Wild yelled out, reaching for the sailors hand. “Shit!” He pulled out the slate and made a block of ice behind the younger hero.

It didn’t stop him.

For some reason, the wind was now going towards Eventide. If Wind wasn’t stopped, he’d be stuck there and only one person can be on the island at a time.

“Fucking shit.” Wild said as he saw Wind wash ashore. Wind was basically 50 metres away from the sandbank but had no way to get Wind off the island. Then he had an idea.

Wild pulled out the Shiekah Slate.

“Wind, I’m going to talk you through this step by step.” Wild said, seeing the sailor look into his Pirate’s Charm. (the necklace is called The Pirates Charm)

Wild placed a cryonis block and sat on it. If he stayed on the raft, he’d go back to shore before Wind was done.

Also, he burnt the raft so the boys couldn’t come looking for them.

A few days later

“Wild!” Said hero looked up from his spot on the ice block to see Wind running - slightly limping - on the sandbank toward him.

He was battered, bruised and bloody. Wild would have to heal him up before someone like Sky saw, He worried a lot about the other heroes.

As soon as Wind was on the ice, Wild enveloped him into a hug. “I thought you were dead.” He laughed. Wind hadn’t replied since fighting the hinox. “Sorry, I pocketed this so I couldn’t hear you.” Wind said. Wild squeezed him a little.

“I’m sorry I took you here.” He said. “It’s not your faul-” “Yes! It is!” Wild pulled back with tears going down his cheeks.

“Wild-” Wind was cut off again. “When I did this the first time I was knocked out over and over. I was on the verge of death without my weapons. You don’t know how lucky you are to have experience before doing this!” Wild exclaimed. He went to Eventide not long after meeting Purah and wasn’t very experienced against Hinox.

He doubted Wind was experienced with them but the younger hero had been through three adventures and remembered them all. He had more fighting experience than Wild did his first time here.

But that didn’t stop wild being scared for him.

“Wild, I’m fine. Just a few scratches.” Wind said, looking up at the other blue-clad hero.

“Can you jump that far?” Wild asked, pointing to a nearby ice pillar he made in preparation for when they go back. Wind shrugged and jumped across, using his korok leaf like he had seen Wild use his paraglider to go between these.

“Yeah.” He landed on the other side. “Good.” Wild smirked before breaking the ice. “AAH!!! WILD!!!” Wind shrieked as he was plunged into cold water.

“I hate you so much!” He yelled out in a fit of laughter, looking up to see Wild was gone. “Wild?” He looked around before being pulled underwater.

He looked around panickedly to see bright blue eyes staring back at him. Wild pointed up and Wind looked to see a lizalfos. Wild pressed a finger to his lips and led Wind through the water.

Wind could feel himself growing lightheaded so he tugged on Wild’s shirt. The other hero looked at him as his eyes closed.

He didn’t let the air escape him, just closed his eyes as he strained to not breathe in.

He couldn’t stay awake much longer.

He felt the air leave his lungs.

Shit. Shit. Shit!

That’s all Wild’s brain was saying as Wind passed out.

There wasn’t time to give Wind anything before so the older hero forgot to give him a zora helmet.

“...fault!...” Wind could hear snippets of conversation.

“...Twilight!...” 

“...himself!...”

“...danger!...”

Wind shot up. “Danger?” He asked, scared there was an ambush.

The other eight people visibly jumped.

“Oh my goddesses Wind.” Wild took the hero of wind’s into a hug. “I’m so sorry.”

SLAP!!!

The sound resonated throughout the room.

“Heh. Nice hit.” Legend said, scooping food into his mouth as Twilight glared at him. “What? It was a good hit!” He gesturing his hand towards Wind as he spoke. Twilight shrugged in a way that said ‘yeah okay’ before continuing to watch Wild and Wind.

“This isn’t your fault Wild!” Wind yelled. “Yes it is! You could’ve died.” “But I didn’t!” “But you nearly did on the way back!” Wild got louder and more distressed. “There were lizalfos!”

“I could’ve taken them!” The room went quiet as Wild began to cry.

“I-I could’ve beat those lizalfos easily but I was so mad I let you get lost on the island that my first thought was to get you away.” Wild said, his shoulders shaking as he looked down. “In the end, you could’ve died because of that. I should’ve just fought it, but I didn’t.”

“Will you ever shut up?” Wind asked with a laugh as he hugged Wild once more. “’You’re dumb and I hate you.’ Is that what you wanted to hear?” Wild shook his head.

“Then shut up and stop blaming yourself.”

END

------------------------

Hey look, everybody lived. Surprise, surprise.

But this became more fluff than angst.

I really can’t write just sad angst.

I hope you guys enjoyed anyway lmao

One shot shit

LEAVE REQUESTS BELOW!

REQUESTS MUST INCLUDE: PAIRING TYPE/GENRE/CATEGORY (fluff, angst, etc) PLATONIC OR NOT

I WILL WRITE ONLY ABOUT THE LINKS (including the ravio, shadow, and requested characters. Will not write about whole other fandoms though)

I CAN DO READER INSERTS IF REQUESTED (no oc’s tho)

CAN DO AN AU IF REQUESTED

[old-hyper-super-clover]

Trouble in Devildom Town, Part 1/3

In this short story, our dear Leviathan is back with another one of his “hey I teleport you Normies into a game world”- kinda games. What will the happen inside the world of the game “Trouble in Terrorist Town”??

This story contains two OCs/ MCs, so if you´d like to know more about the girls Violet and Clover, you can check out their character designs & descriptions on my blog :D

Hope you´ll have fun on this three-parted adventure!

 Approximate reading time: 10~15 minutes

Words: 3.156 words

 It was a calm, neat Saturday evening, when a new message hit the "House of Lamentation" group chat...

 Leviathan:

OMGGGGGG

GUYS (and girls LOL)

YOU NEED TO COME OVER TO MY ROOM ASAP

 Satan:

?

 Mammon:

To your room? Seriously?!

 Asmodeus:

I can't remember having Levi calling us over ever before... What's going on??

 Leviathan:

LESS TALKING, MORE COMING OVER.

 Lucifer:

I do hope for you this matter is worth the ruckus...

 Clover:

We'll be there in a sec!

  And so, the whole mansion's population found themselves in the third-born's room a few minutes later.

"Levi..." Being the last one to step inside the crowded room, Belphegor was rubbing his eyes in a tired manner. "Would you tell us what's going on now...?"

However, Leviathan wasn't really going to answer any of their questions.

Instead, he was prompting his guests to close the door, his gaze drifting over all of them.

Lucifer crossed his arms.

"This maniac expression on your face is highly worrying, Levi," Lucifer said.

Levi turned towards his computer, hectically mashing his keyboard, clicking on several pop-ups that appeared on his monitors, before finally turning around to properly face them.

He wore a crazy smile.

"Dammit, Levi," Mammon burst out, "I'm not in the mood for your weird shi-"

Ignoring him, Levi spoke in his best terrifying voice.

"I welcome you..."

Before anyone could react, he pressed a last key, then the monitors emitted such a strong light that all of them had to close their eyes.

  Slowly able to see again, the nine of them suddenly found themselves in a little shack.

"What... What happened...?" Violet was the first one to take a proper look around. "Where are we?!"

Leviathan's laugh pulled them out of their confusion. He spread his arms triumphantly.

"Welllcome tooo....

Trouble in Terrorist Town, the special, virtual reality but actually it's true reality -edition!!"

"Trouble in... What?" Mammon asked.

"Wait..." Clover was searching for Levi's attention. "I know this game, I've played TTT before. But why are we... really here?"

Satan shot his otaku brother a glare.

"Is this one of your real life games that you are only allowed to leave when you win??"

"Kind of," Levi laughed. "Don't worry though, if you die here, you don't die for real. You'll get kicked into a spectator lobby and we'll all respawn together once the round is over."

The oldest brother gave a stressed sigh.

"Really, now..." Lucifer rubbed his temples in distress. "Why do you always force us into playing your games without asking first...?"

"Well... I feared all of you would say no if I did" Levi responded, actually in a slightly sad tone.

When Lucifer breathed another sigh, they heard Asmo giving a weird squeal.

"Look at our outfits tho~!" he hummed.

He was standing in front of a partly broken mirror, posing while blowing his reflection some hot kisses.

"A simple black, military look, slightly armoured just at the right places... And oh my, tight clothes just show all those curves and perfections of my astonishing body..."

As he was looking around to find someone who would agree with him, his eyes landed on Clover.

"Isn't that right, darling~?"

The girl didn't even look at him.

Instead, she was staring at somebody else with a heavy blush covering her face.

"Y-yeah... Curves and... Perf... Perfection..."

Asmo wouldn't need to, but nonetheless he followed her gaze to find the sixth-born.

Of course, Beelzebub noticed this piercing glare that laid on him, but (fortunately for the girl), he was too pure to correctly interpret the thirst behind it.

"Huh? Clover? Are you not feeling well? You look like you have a fever..."

He hurried over to check that her face was truly burning hot, and of course only getting warmer now that he was this close, in this soldier like, perfect, absolutely stunning uniform that just-

"GUYS!!"

Thankfully, Leviathan saved the girl from passing out.

"The game is about to start soon and you don't even know the rules!!"

With a little frown, Violet leaned against the wooden wall that Satan was already rested against.

"So we're really going to play this crazy game...?" she mumbled so only the blond could hear.

She gained a chuckle.

"I guess so..." Satan whispered. "Although I must say, weird and extreme as they may be, but Levi's games can be quite amusing if you just go with the flow."

She mustered him, then a smile spread on her face as well.

"Well, I guess we should take all the opportunities we can to do crazy stuff while Clover and I are here in the Devildom."

Before Satan could answer, Levi threw a pebble at them.

"You listen as well, Normie!!"

Then, he finally went to explain the rules...

  "In our group of nine, there are three that are not like the rest...

They are traitors.

They work as a trio, trying to kill all the other players in order to win the game.

But who are they, you ask yourself?

Well, that is a thing only they know, and THE thing the innocent one's have to find out.

To their guidance is the almighty detective.

Unlike the traitors, the detective can, or should, reveal his role so that the remaining players, called the 'innocents', can protect him better.

Then, logically, the innocents' and detective's goal is to find the three traitors and eliminate them.

When the game starts, we may run out of this shack and will have additional two minutes to spread over the map. Keep in mind that in those two minutes it is impossible to harm your co-players, but after that, it's time for war.

The map is covered with all sorts of weapons that may help you in the epic fights we will have.

But behold!

Both, the traitors and the detective, have access to special weapon shops, where they can, any time, any place, trade achievement points for super cool, limited items to grant their victory!

On your wrists, a health bar will appear, but you can only see your own. Once your life points reach zero, you will be put into said spectator lobby and may follow the game like ghosties in the sky! Then you will also see who has which role."

 Levi took a look around after having finished.

"Any other questions?"

Belphie raised his hand.

"Do the traitors know who the other traitors are? Or can they kill each other?"

"Very good questions! They know of each other, but they may also kill each other if it gives any tactical advantages. Their goal is to have at least one traitor alive at the end of the game while the rest is dead.

Ah, I forgot to say...! If an innocent person or the detective kills another innocent one, they will die as well, as a penalty."

After a round of silence, everyone looked as if they were ready.

"Good to go?" Levi checked one last time.

Gaining nods as an answer, a big smile grew on Levi's face.

"Alright!!! Then...

Let's begin!!!"

  The players were just about all out of the shack when the game officially started.

A giant countdown manifested in the bright sky of day that, judging by the bright sunlight, must have been the sky of the human world.

Two minutes were slowly ticking down.

Levi was pointing up at the clock...

"After this preparation time starts the overall time of one hour. If that time is over, the innocents will win as well. But for every person the traitors kill, they gain five minutes to add to the counter."

... And then he pointed down on his arm.

"You should all see a role written on here. And the traitors will see two other player's names on here as well."

He gained a round of hesitant nods.

"Our player names are displayed above our heads. Be careful, they might reveal your position if you're not hiding well enough."

They heard Belphie snort with laughter.

He pointed above Mammon's head.

"'StupidMammon'? I like that name, it's better than your real one!"

"Huh?!" Mammon looked up to see it himself. "WhAT?! Levi, did you give me this shitty name AGAIN?!??"

"Lolololol, sorry Mammon, I had to."

Kind of automatically, everyone needed to check their names before doing anything else.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow.

"Most of our names are normal, though... We have Beel, Belphie, I am 'Lucifer' as usual..."

"Yep! I am Levi-chan, and the Normies are Violet-chan and Clover-chan."

"What an honour to have a naming scheme fitting your name," Violet smiled.

"Well, I felt kind today. Don't push your luck, or I'll change it into Normie #1 and Normie #2 for the next round."

O moment later, Satan gave a sigh.

"... Why am I called 'Stan'?"

Levi looked at his name.

"... Oh. Must be a typo lololol"

The others laughed a little, while the Avatar of Wrath tried to contain his displease, but out of all, Asmo seemed to find it the most amusing.

Which was weird, because he was completely ignoring the fact that his nickname wasn't normal either, but there was an extra fat "Ass-mo" written above his head...

 After a round of getting used to the sensation of being inside a video game, Violet clasped her hands to finally get things started.

"Could we get going? There's only less then a minute left before the friendly fire wears off."

Very grateful for helping to get the game going, Levi was about to dismiss everyone, when he remembered one important detail.

"WAIT!!" he screamed.

"What?! I wanna go already...!" Asmo whined.

Levi looked around.

"The most important role!! Who's the detective?!"

Everybody shot each other glances, then, finally, a little "ah!" caught their attention.

Their gazes landed on Mammon.

"There's 'detective' written on my left arm, so I guess it's me?"

"WHAT?!" Levi pressed out. "OH, MAN....! Why does it have to be MAMMON?!"

"Well, I guess the innocents are on their own, then," Satan agreed to Levi's resignation.

"With Mammon as the most powerful innocent, the traitors have a clear advantage," Lucifer agreed, too.

"Aw, maaan, and I was hoping for an exciting first round..." Asmo pouted, of course, in agreement.

The white haired male gave a growl.

"H-hey!!! Don't be like this, I'll kill those traitor bitches in no time!!"

But no one was listening.

In a collective sigh, all the others automatically started to move, not a single soul feeling the need to stick to the one person they knew was one of the good ones.

"Hey!!" Mammon called out again. "Aren't ya innocents s'posed to guard me?! Where are y'all going?!?!"

... But no one was listening.

"Grr... Just you wait...! I'll slay this game!!"

And with that, he turned to follow behind Lucifer and Violet, whining and screaming at them to wait for him, only to see how Lucifer was fastening his step.

   Walking through the deserted village and onto a wide, open area, Clover soon felt her fear of being chased kick in.

Somehow, she had ended up all by herself, but that only made stumbling about so much worse.

But now, as she turned her head to check if someone was following her, she saw how Satan had been trying to follow her in silence.

As they locked eyes, however, he greeted her with a smile and went up to her as if nothing had happened.

"... Hi," Clover mumbled carefully.

"Please don't mind my behaviour," the blond said while gesturing to continue walking together. "I still have to figure out how to properly behave in this situation. I mean, it's not every day that we suddenly face each other as maybe allies, maybe enemies... right?"

The girl shot him a sceptical glance.

"Well, that's true... But if your goal is to not appear suspicious, then... Don't to that again. Just a friendly little piece of advice."

Satan laughed.

"Yes, my apologies. You see, you have mentioned you know this game, so I found it best to stick to you."

They halted as they found a pistol laying on a boulder nearby, a package of ammunition right next to it.

Both of them were hesitating, then Satan turned around to continue.

"You take it," he said, obviously trusting that Clover wouldn't shoot his back right this instant.

Well this, or he was already bearing a weapon...

"I've seen people play this game lots," Clover continued the conversation. "I know how everything works, but I'm afraid I'm pretty bad at all the aiming stuff..."

The two reached a weird cliff that parted the land in a huge gap, no ground to be seen in the huge depths. One of those super unstable-looking wooden bridges was leading to the other side.

The platform on the other side was rather small, with only a few buildings in the middle of it.

Satan held his chin in a contemplative manner.

"I bet there must be some rare items waiting for those who would go that far and cross the bridge..."

Clover gave a nod.

"Probably... Welp, you can get the stuff, I have terrible fear of heights, so I'm not going over that wobbly bridge thingy."

The girl was about to leave again, but the male got hold of her wrist.

"No, you're coming with me."

"What?! Why?"

He searched for her eyes.

"Look. I trust that you're innocent, and I ask you to trust me, too. I could have already killed you if I wanted to, when you were all alone. But we need to work together if we want to stand a chance against the traitors and whatever special weapons they might have."

He made a little pause while the girl fought with herself to make up her mind.

"Please," he said again.

Finally, Clover gave an annoyed grunt.

"Fiiiine..." she grumbled. So, she pointed at the bridge. "But you go first... Mister Stan."

She stressed his nickname in a manner to mock him.

Satan looked at her for a moment, dazzled, then he turned around and could only give a breathy laugh.

"See, now you can be sure that I am innocent. Because if I was allowed to kill you just now, I definitely would have."

  "Oooh, Leviii!"

Asmo was nearly doing little jumps while trotting alongside the third-born. His excitement was visible, but very odd, and of course Leviathan noticed that his brother was acting strange.

"Asmo, for Lord Diavolo's sake, what's wrong with you?!"

Putting on his best puppy eyes, Asmo looked at him all innocent.

"Eeh? Shouldn't you be happy that somebody actually enjoys your weird games for once?"

Levi growled in response, moving through the deserted village with such care, as if death could be waiting behind every next corner.

... Well, it could, yes, but his super secret agent act was just... a little too much...

"Sure, but... You're almost TOO excited about this. A little shady, if you ask me... Like, out of all games, why would one where we kill each other be one to wake your interest?!"

He gained a dramatic rolling-of-eyes.

"Oh, please, Levi! It's not the killing or tactical contemplation that gets me excited... But think about the potential that this scenario bears!"

They peeked inside one of the empty houses.

There were two weapons inside, a crowbar and a shotgun without ammunition.

Breaking the nearest window, Levi climbed inside to pick them up, and was kind enough to give Asmo the crowbar even though he hasn't done anything worth gaining it (as Asmo had even been too scared to get a cut from climbing through the broken window so he didn't move an inch).

"What potential, exactly?" Levi asked, more because he felt like Asmo would pressure him into asking that anyway.

Glad that he could continue his speech, Asmo placed a dramatic hand on his forehead.

"The potential for drama, Levi!! Just imagine... us lonely wolves lumbering through the streets, and our maidens Violet and Clover shivering in fear!"

He changed his pose, wrapping his arms around himself as if hugging someone.

"Oh, whom should they trust?? Their hearts, their minds, or just nobody at all?!"

Then, he suddenly grabbed Levi by his shoulders, getting pretty close to his face.

"Love blooms in times of war, Levi! And I will take every chance I can to see those flowers in their full beauty!"

Silence.

Then, Levi gave an exhausted sigh.

"... Can you please go away...?"

And Asmo let go of him.

"Tsk. Okay, if you're not mentally able to understand the depth of my words, then I shall find a better place to fulfill my tasks...!"

  "Sooo, Beel, where you wanna go?"

The twins were already out of town, kind of heading towards the edge of a nearby forest.

The taller one seemed to be searching for something.

Then, he held his stomach.

"I'm... Hungr-"

"No, don't even say it" Belphie sighed. "Are you, really? Even inside a game?"

Beel only gave a pout, so Belphie continued after a while.

"Well, if we must secure you won't go on a rampage and destroy the whole game, then the forest might be the best place to find something for you."

And so, Belphie continued heading straight towards the green.

After a while, however, Belphie noticed how his brother wasn't following any more.

Turning around, Beel had stopped completely and was looking off into the distance behind them.

When Belphegor asked him what was wrong, the other male slowly shook his head.

"Where did everyone run off to?" Beel asked. "I can't see any of the other players..."

"Hm... I saw Violet, Lucifer and Mammon go into the forest as well... Asmo and Levi seemed to have stayed near the village... And I don't know where Satan has gone."

Now Beel turned his head.

"And Clover?"

"Uhm... She went somewhere... there, I think. I heard her talk with Levi when we left, but it seemed like she wasn't going to stay with him."

"So she's all alone right now?"

Belphie got a little confused over Beel's worried expression.

"Well, maybe. But she could be a traitor, so why are you so worried about her?"

Beelzebub's gaze drifted away again.

"I just... Don't like that thought." He snapped back at his smaller brother. "And by the way, you could be a traitor as well."

Belphie leaned back in a carefree manner.

"Yeah, but I told you I'm not. You don't believe me? I believe you're innocent, too!"

Beel gave a little sigh.

"But you can read me like a book, even if I tried lying to you..."

They kept standing there in a little silence.

Then, without further ado, Beel grabbed his brother by his arm, turned around, and kept going into a different direction.

"Beel, what are you...?! Weren't you hungry?! What about the forest??"

"... I sense food over there. Don't worry, and let's get going."

[marauderspoet]

How i think the marauders spent Remus's birthday!

they woke up at 9.30 am which believe me was early for them Remus usually woke up around 7.00 so it took a lot of convincing on the marauders part to make him sleep in.

Sirius and James were the first ones to wake up. Of course they had to start the day of with pranking remus. They quickly opened their prank closet which basicly was a closet that they kept all their prank supplys in. They did have to sacrifice some space for their daily clothes for this but they were fine with it. They got out some loud sirens that they had bought three weeks prior and started screaming "happy birthday moony!!" while the sirens went of.

Remus woke up immedietly he was used to waking up to any little noise durning the night after all those years of transformations he was... paranoid, he was scared that he would hurt his friends,the only people that actually care about him.Well at least he thought but he didnt have to worry about this noise it was his friends.

He quickly woke up, "i- guys you didnt have to do this why did-" "Moony shut up" sirius interrupted "its your birthday now shut up and come with us"

They all got dressed and headed down stairs Remus was following the rest. They were walking torwards the great hall, tgey entered and Remus quickly spotted what was happening. The boys had kept a corner for remus and they had decorated it. Gosh he really loved them, the boys must have sensed his shock so they dragged him there. They sat down started eating and chatting, a couple minutes later Lily, Marlene, Alice and Dorcas decided to join them it was chaotic Marlene and Dorcas were cuddling while Marlene was arguing wıth sirius about who was better at skating, James and Lily were fighting over the Nutella jar and Peter was just chatting with Alice about Frank and how she had missed him, he was always at quidditch practice. All of a sudden sirius screamed " FOOD FIGHT" everyone was caught of guard but they went along with it. Even students from other desks were joining them now the whole great hall had joined them now. Remus wasn't someone that got in trouble ever so often but it was hella fun. They continued the fight untill Mc gonnagal and Dumbledore CAME and started screaming at people Sirius quickly sneaked them out and they were fine even tho they were pretty sure everyone knew they were the ones that started it. They were 8 people now and they had plans. "Okay Moony now we have a ton of things planned for today but for the first one get in the car" Sirius said. Remus was suprised but oh well they got in the car. Sirius was the first one to open some songs.They were all upbeat funk and except for him and Marlene no one really liked it so Remus took over and blasted the whole Folklore album (a/n also queen taylor im so proud she won album of the year wooo) he just loved the album and who could blame him? About 10 minutes before they arrived at the destination Marlene blindefolded remus so it was a suprise for him. The car stopped and they all got out guiding Remus. They entered the building and Remus immedietly understood where they were. The smell of buttery popcorn and sweat. They were at the rollerskating ring. Remus loved to skate. He used to skate when he was a little child and it just turned into a hobby. They all went up to the cashier and got their shoes. Remus and Marlene basicly ran to the ring. Sirius and James ran after and Lily Peter& Alice were pretty calm. They were just learning to skate while Remus was showing off to Marlene and Sirius and James were racing.

(something like this <3)

They skated in the rink for about an hour untill Sirius had a genious plan well.... they were probably gonna get in trouble but they didnt care. They were going to run out of the rink and skate.. well basicly they were going to steal the skates but they would bring them back.. right?

They didnt think much and just skated out the rink ignoring the shouts of the guy runing after them and eventually giving up. They blasted music from the speakers they had brought.

Remus took some photos of Marlene Dorcas,Lily and,Peter cause they practically begged him

⬆️Lily,Marlene,Dorcas Peter⬆️

After skating around the town for hours they all were tired so they decided to go eat in this little caffe that Lily had told them about that was also a arcade they put on normal shoes and made their way there. It wasn't too far away so they walked slowly chatting and laughing hard.

By the time they were standing in front of the caffe it was already 2pm. They entered the caffe and were blown away by how beautiful it was. There were colorfull lights everywhere with the smell of french fries surrounding the entire building.

They sat down at a nearby table and ordered a bunch of food to actually eat this time. They all warned Sirius not to make a mess this time. He was posted but not for long. The food arrived and they ate it in no time they didnt realise how hungry they were since they all were having a lot of fun. After eating and chatting they made their way to the back of the restaurant which was the arcade

They were like little kids running around getting tickets and playing games.

The time flew by as they played every game possible, Remus smashing everyone in Mario Cart. "NO MOONY STOP IT THIS IS RIGGED THERE IS NO WAY POSSIBLE THAT YOU JUST BEAT ME NO I REFUSE" Sirius was screaming getting looks from angry parents and eventually getting kicked out.

They all were laughing so hard as they left the building knowing damn well that they wouldn't be able to attend this place ever again. Remus thought that the day was over and he was so happy. The day had been perfect, he loved his friends and he couldnt have asked for anything better than this.

"now moony for our last activity go and put your swimsuit on" James told him and he must have seen the confusion on his face so he explained "we are going to swim in moonlight dumbass now quick get dressed!!" Remus was still confused but he went along with it. Everyone got dressed and they started racing torwards the ocean.The arcade caffe was right across the beach so they were lucky. Sirius and James were the first ones the jump in and start splashing everyone. They were complaning tho this was typical Sirius and James behaviour. Eventually everyone got used to the cold water and started having water fights, jokingly drowning each other, getting on top of each other.

They swam untill it was around 2 am and they did get many complains from the people around but they didnt care! Even the technically the day and Remus's birthday was over that didnt mean they would stop.

Lily and Peter quickly started a little fire while Marlene and Alice walked back to the car to get the marshmellows that Sirius had prepared beforehand. İt didnt take long for Lily and Peter to start the fire, with the use of some matches of course.

They got started with sticking their marshmellows on the sticks they brought when suddenly they felt water dripping on them, it was starting to rain, well they didnt really care and watched as the rain started to put out the fire. They grabbed their marshmellows and started running around town blasting the ablum melophobia by cage the elephant.

'maybe life wasn't that bad after all.'

~°•●○`~°•●○`~~°•●○`~°•●○`~~°•●`~

~°•●○`~°•●○`~~°•●○`~°•●○`~~°•●'~

hello everyone!! i cant belive how long this took me but its worth it, i just relate to these so much and my headcanons are literally me expressing my dream life at this point😔✋🏻 i really hope you all enjoy this make sure to follow me on instagram as well @marauders_poet on insta!!

(sorry for any spelling mistakes)

also listen to this song on repeat while reading its just perfection

love you all so much<3

[freshtomatoesddd]

A TyZula Fanfic i wrote to avoid burnout.

A fanfic inspired by Lewin's Hyperventilation.

Ty Lee has always had difficulty breathing whenever she was mentally or physically overwhelmed, often hyperventilating. When she was a young girl, this was never much of a problem, as her life was comfortable. But as soon as she turned fifteen, her father chose to ship his kids to America for their senior education. As such, Ty Lee arrived in a foreign country with her sisters, realizing her life would never be the same. Having no real way to cope, Ty Lee would often leave home for long stretches of time, doing whatever it was she felt like doing. In high school, however, she fitted in quite well with her spoiled peers. She did so well, Ty Lee was awarded a position in Azula's posse. Confident and well put together, the young girl had difficulty not falling for teenage Azula, and their relationship soon evolved past platonic relations.

Five years later, Ty Lee found herself back in America at some reunion party her father made her attend, stuck in an old bar with people she'd rather not meet again. Mai couldn't come, leaving her with Azula. Through gritted teeth, Ty Lee allowed Azula to follow her back to her hotel, angst following suit. If you're interested, read after the cut off. :p

HYPERVENTILATION

An enigma, that was the best way Ty Lee could describe Azula. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know her, for it was only after high school did they grow out of touch. But graduating did that to people, especially if one made it a point to leave their past behind and start anew, away from the people and environment which brought one so much misery in the first place. And so, Ty Lee questioned why she had agreed to come to the high school reunion, the bar chalk full of people she had wished to never see again. Not that she despised them, she just wished they wouldn’t have showed up. But then again, she knew that it was her fault for accepting the invitation and for actually presenting herself in the stuffy, old looking bar.

A part of her wished she never opened her mail that day, begging and praying that by some miracle she hadn’t seen the invitation sticking out of her mailbox like a sore thumb. But another part of her knew that it was pointless to complain of it now, most definitely after she made the effort to dress herself and show up to an otherwise unremarkable party. It was lively, yes, but Ty Lee saw no need to further rub elbows with her former classmates. She didn’t even bother to drink, as the rather loud and cramped bar hadn’t given her the impression that such an occasion was one to celebrate.

“Why aren’t you drinking?” a voice called out to her.

The brunette looked up; met with the same golden gaze she had grown accustomed to throughout the years—the same person who caused her train of thought in the first place. Azula didn’t bother to drink herself, though she’d never been much of an alcohol enthusiast.

The brunette fiddled her thumbs for a moment, unsure of what to say, nor how to feel. Her juvenile crush had faded, but some feelings still remained. Not passionate by nature, but warm nonetheless... But this wasn’t high school, and Ty Lee soon found her words.

“I guess I just don’t feel like it.” Ty Lee leaned against their booth; eyes still fixed on her former classmate.

“Strange, I assumed you would be one to enjoy the bite of alcohol.”

Ty Lee shrugged, giving Azula a polite smile. “Guess I’m just not feeling it today.”

Azula stared at her for few more moments, Ty Lee counting down the seconds before she turned away. Even after five years, she was the same old intense Azula. But Ty Lee would be lying if she said she hadn’t grown more mature, crimson lipstick running along her lips. She made it a point to look professional, wearing quiet a business-looking pair dress pants and sweater, accompanied with a suit and black watch. How very boring, lacking the distinctly fiery aura Azula once bore back in high school. But along her dull outfit, Ty Lee caught a glimpse of gold on her finger, her ring finger. There was no mistaking it, that was a ring, Ty Lee uncertain how to feel about it.

Of course she’d be married, or at least engaged. Someone of her status and importance would practically be married off by the time they graduated high school, especially with Azula’s rather traditional father. For so long, he insisted she mingle with only the best, most prestigious group of people he chose for her, including her potential spouses. Being a conservative man, Ozai insisted Azula to marry men. But Ty Lee and Mai both knew she didn’t have any type of fancy for them, describing the entire male species as a ‘collective of lecherous creatures.’ But seeing as she had a ring on her finger, her father’s wishes finally got the better of her, though Ty Lee doubted she had any say in it.

“You’re awfully silent, did college finally calm you down?” Azula asked.

“Uh.” Ty Lee paused. “Actually, I think I’m gonna go.”

Azula was silent for a moment. “You mentioned you were staying near China-town.”

“Yeah.” Ty Lee scratched the back of her head, unsure of whether she should disclose her hotel location to Azula. “What about it?”

“Do you have any other plans for the evening?”

Ty Lee shrugged. “Not really.”

“Splendid, I’ll accompany you back to your hotel then.”

“What—why?” She gripped the fabric of her dress, her mouth agape.

Ty Lee’s eyes widened, taken aback by the suggestion. Though, she knew Azula well enough to know that her suggestion was a command, and that there was no use in arguing her out of it. Still, she was rather shocked.

“Who knows?” Azula stood up, grabbing her suit. “Call it a whim.”

Ty Lee narrowed her gaze, standing up not long after as she put on her overcoat and purse.

“Um, okay. But I’m not staying at the fanciest hotel, so sorry if it kinda sucks.”

“Very well,” was all Azula said.

They promptly exited the bar together, a few people whining and asking them to stay longer. Ty Lee nodded and smiled, stating that she really must go, otherwise she would wake up late for her flight. Azula, however, did not bother with pleasantries. She merely followed her outside, buttoning up her suit as they stepped out.

The cold air rudely greeted them, a quick chill running down Ty Lee’s spine. She wondered why she chose to wore a dress to the reunion, and heels as well, knowing full well that ice and snow were soon to follow the chilly cold. Well, at least she looked good, and that was all that mattered to the brunette then. She reached into her purse and pulled out her phone, ordering a taxi over, the two left standing in the freezing streetside.

“Unbelievable, you still have the same phone case.” Azula smirked. “You haven’t changed at all.”

Ty Lee looked down to her phone case. Yes, it was true, she didn’t bother to change it past high school. She fiddled with the bunny’s ear, the street lights illuminating the star shaped stickers on the back of it. It was pink, her favorite color, the same one as her dress at that. The brunette turned to her former classmate, a small smile on her face.

“Well, it’s still cute.”

“Perhaps.”

Azula re-adjusted her watch, her golden ring shining form the street lights. It shone almost like the sun on a winter morning, nearly blinding Ty Lee had she not squinted her eyes. She wondered what sort of a man Azula was married to, whether he was present in her daily life, or more likely absent. She wondered of whether their union was completely orchestrated by Ozai, or if Azula at least had some say in which man she’d spend the rest of her life with. And most of all, amid all her thoughts and queries, she wondered if Azula herself had changed. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. The last time they spoke, she wouldn’t allow Ty Lee to even run her hands up Azula’s shirt.

But now, it seemed that she had a better hold of herself, perhaps even able to handle the hourly stress of running a company like her father always hoped. But then again, Azula had always been amazing at projecting her best qualities, not allowing her weaknesses to show. That was who she was then, Ty Lee wondering if that was who she was now too. She looked the part of a well put together adult, only at age twenty-three, but Ty Lee wondered whether she had the emotional maturity of keeping the role. Whether her demeanor was nothing more than a facade, or if it were her true self. Such questions only confused Ty Lee, the brunette turning away to rub her temple.

“How long till the taxi comes?” Azula asked.

Ty Lee looked back to her, striking golden eyes piercing the brunette’s being. “Five minutes.”

Azula stared at her for a moment. “I hope you don’t think I’m pursuing you.”

“Yeah well,” Ty Lee clutched her purse, “Why else would you talk to me?”

“Is it so hard to believe I enjoy your company?”

“What kind of company?”

Azula chuckled. “Lee, what we had in high school has long passed.”

“I know.” Ty Lee pursed her lips. “Especially since you stopped talking to me.”

Azula scoffed. “How are you still upset about that?”

“How could I not be?”

Azula’s eyes widened for a brief moment. “I see you’ve become more vocal. Tell me, do you still hyperventilate?”

Ty Lee sighed, gripping her purse once more. “Why do you care?”

Azula fell silent for a moment, taking a few steps towards Ty Lee.

“Seeing as you’ve seen right through me, fine—I’ll be honest. I am pursuing you, but I won’t drag it out like I did in high school. It will only be one time, that’s all.”

“That’s what you always said.” Ty Lee turned away, praying for the taxi to arrive faster.

Azula placed a hand on her shoulder, the brunette flinching under her touch. The woman chuckled.

“You’re still sensitive when I touch you.”

Ty Lee gripped her hand. “Just get to the point.”

“I’m sure you’ve noticed by the number of times you’ve stared at me.” She paused. “I’m getting married, to a man I’ve never met at that. Father says that it would be beneficial for the company if we merge our assets together, though I’m certain he just wants me married off.”

Azula leaned in, whispering into Ty Lee’s quivering ear. “In light of that, I’d like to enjoy my freedom while I still have it.”

Though she felt bad that Azula would be forced to marry someone she’s never met, Ty Lee still faced the other way.

“Why does it have to be me?” she asked in a low voice.

Azula slowly trailed her warm hand down Ty Lee’s arm, snaking her arm around the brunette’s cold waist, Ty Lee now forced to stare at her former friend. Though her face bore a rather blank stare, Ty Lee could tell through her golden eyes that Azula wasn’t as excited as she initially thought. She wasn’t lying, this really would be her last chance at enjoying the little freedom she had.

“Because there’s no one else like you,” was all Azula said, the woman gently dragging her fingers along the brunette’s cold cheek.

Ty Lee bit her lip. She hated the idea of it, all of it, but she was sold either way.

“Just this once,” she muttered.

Hey there, thanks for reading all of that! If you want to keep reading the fanfic, i've already uploaded the 2nd chapter here Anyway, thanks again for reading the fanfic, and i hope you have a wonderful day.

-FreshTomatoesdevilish