#I will Not be answering a single other negative ask related to this subject

[dalishious]

About Davrin's little blurb on the official website for Dragon Age: The Veilguard...

"Though he was raised in a Dalish clan, he craved excitement and adventure. He'd rather make history than reflect on it."

There's actually a lot to unpack about these two sentences.

First off, placing the word "though" in front of being "raised in a Dalish clan", gives such a thing a negative connotation. The word "though" is used in a way that sounds like "despite", as in, somehow wanting excitement and adventure must go against being Dalish. This correlates with sentence that follows. "He'd rather make history than reflect on it." The word "rather" is yet again used to separate Davrin from his Dalish origin. All together, this promotional description of Davrin is insisting that he is "not like other Dalish".

Now, obviously the game is not out yet, so we do not have total confirmation on what the nature of Davrin's relationship to his culture is really like. But there is absolutely something to be said about promoting the character this way, regardless of however he actually turns out in game. There is absolutely something to be said about how, as @/the-eldritch-it-gay put in their tags here, why do writers feel the need to make fantasy minorities hate or distance themselves from their culture? As a selling point?

Maybe this is completely misleading bullshit, maybe it isn't. All we have to go by, is what BioWare chose to say here, and their past track record with elves:

Zevran may talk about his mother in a font way, but he still has the line, "Too many of our kind think we deserve pity simply because we have failed to defend ourselves."

Velanna is one of the two elves we've had who is overtly proud of her culture, yet she is treated like she is unreasonable and too angry because of it.

Merrill too, is proud of being an elf, and of being Dalish. The story punishes her left and right for this, treats her like a child, and in the end she is either ostracized from her clan or they end up dead because... she cared too much?

Fenris has pretty much zero engagement with elven cultures, and spends his time ridiculing Merrill for being proud of hers.

Solas complains about the Dalish from the start, and says plainly that he does not see himself as having anything in common with elves of current time. "Oh, you mean elves" he says, when the Inquisitor asks how he feels about his people; the thought does not even occur to him.

Sera is... Sera is a character who could have been a really interesting examination of overcoming internalized racism, if she was written by someone competent with the subject. Instead, she just cringes at everything "too elfy" through the entire main game, and only has a single line in Trespasser that hints that she may have a personal struggle going on. But it's still left unresolved.

That's a lot a lot of negativity. So of course seeing a suggestion that more is to come with Davrin has people wary and tired.

Let us also consider the fact that Davrin is overtly Black as well, and what that means. Acting as if one must disregard history in order to make it, as his description so claims, is bullshit. It sounds too much like promoting gentrification/assimilation in my opinion; the idea that you cannot keep your culture if you want to be successful.

I also think that it goes even deeper, on a meta level - I think that BioWare is afraid people will not be able to like or relate to Davrin, if he is "too ethnic". I think that BioWare is taking this Black character and instead of questioning how he can best represent marginalized fans - particularly Black fans - they are questioning how to make him more relatable to white fans. And the only answer to that is to, of course, make him seem like he is an exception to marginalization through separating him from his people.

I am still holding onto hope that Davrin will overall be an interesting, well-written character. And I sure as hell will still be defending him from the people who are already hating on him or ignoring him completely because of their racialized biases. But that does not exempt BioWare, and specifically his writer, John Dombrow, from any criticism. This is not about Davrin the character, this is about BioWare the company's handling of Davrin the character. And in that regard, they're not off to a great start with this.

[gem-de-lune]

i know the members loves him and wanted him back and they are family but do you think their feelings changed even a bit after what happened? i saw reader on twt said that the relationship between them changed and isnt the same and they want him back but not as much as before so im scared if what happened affected them

Mydearwonbin I apologize for the shit show of an answer I will give just know not all of this is directed at you, but I am taking the opportunity whilst on this subject to address several related things in addition to answering you.

I am gonna go on a little rant here bc some of yall have been mentioning other readers a lot, and to be frank, that is quite literally enough. So this is the last time I will be expressing my opinion on this matter and why yall need to stop referencing other tarot readers who are saying wack ass shit.

Here we go

There are a LOT of readers on twt who are solo stans and OT6- or just non boycotters. These people are DESPERATE for ANY REASON to not boycott and return to normal. That is one thing you must take into account. Some people just want this to end.

So, separately, I want you to know that you do not just "stop wanting something" unless you now believe something is not as good as you thought or unless you already have it or something better.

If you want something LESS, it is because there is something BETTER or because you are exhausted and someone has been kicking you so hard into submission that you can't take it anymore.

There is absolutely no REASON for Riize to want him back LESS that is not a DIRECT EFFECT of SM's terrible management. Do you understand?

Therefore, we need to use our common sense.

The most probable option is that they are simply tired of this situation and the dragging of SM's feet. This does not mean they "want Seunghan less" that is not even a thing. It's abt wanting the situation to be over. It is about losing your motivation after a long time of being berated and told no.

Also, the spiritual vibes have been BLOCKED leading up to MAMA LA. Anyone who is doing a reading on their feelings as of the 15th is getting mixed messages that they could be interpreting wrongly. Whoever is doing a read on all the members' feelings rn and DOES NOT MENTION this block- means they are not getting all of the info they need to be getting and worse- they don't notice it.

Im not telling yall to only believe me as a reader, I am telling you to follow transparent people. This doesn't mean people to tell you "harsh truths" or people who don't shy away from a negative reading. I mean follow people who are going to explain this shit to you and who HAVE. COMMON. SENSE when it comes to people and interpersonal relations, are empaths or empathetic, and use critical thinking to navigate their readings. You should not follow or trust every single reader you see bc a lot of them will jump to conclusions and not use any forms of common sense or navigating a situation.

Every reader has their own way of doing things. But when you are looking into how an individual feels, you must understand how that person got to that point. If the reader can not explain logically and emotionally how that happened, then they do not understand that individual nor their own reading. Their reading will be slightly off. You need to listen to readers who know how to read for the particular question they are asking.

I spend a lot of time explaining these things to you guys because I care, and I want yall to have the facts here. Not every reader is built the same. Not every reader is reliable for certain questions. For example- I am terrible at past tense questions. My energy hates it and prefers present or future readings. If you are gonna listen to tarot readings you need to use discretion, not take things as 100% truths, and understand that there is a margin of error that can be widespread based on all the things I stated above including personal negativity and lack of critical thinking skills and common sense.

So, before you go believing any tarot reader, see if they explain anything. Critical thinking. Use it.

To answer Anon's original question: No, their feelings for Seunghan did not change bc there is no reason for them to. They are just tired and drained like all of us are.

Sorry again, Anon. Not all of this is directed at you unless what I said directly applies to how you are feeling or thinking. No matter, either way, i love and appreciate you.

I hope this was helpful to some people newer to tarot.

Not me calling u anon lol

[havenofcybele]

Some thoughts on feminism from a trans perspective

What has feminism done for trans people? This is, surprisingly, a question that isn’t often asked. But the answer is quite revealing: nothing, unless one wants to include negatives, in which case, a lot of bad things.

There’s an expectation for trans women that you’re supposed to be a feminist. So much as questioning feminism, or even expressing indifference to it, is frequently met by vitriol and hostility, typically expressed through misgendering, whether covert or overt. I’ve even had trans women say I deserve transphobia for not being a feminist. ‘Vitriol and hostility’ are really understatements of how tense other trans women can get when you don’t have the right opinion on this subject. The only possible outlet for criticism of feminism is criticism of TERFs, and transfeminists are extremely eager to point out that the TERFs are supposedly a minority, and hell, they’re probably not even real feminists anyway!

But again, my mind just returns to that question. What has feminism done for trans people? If you actually pose that to a transfeminist, they begin to stumble. They’ll stop talking to you, or they’ll deflect, or they’ll ignore the question and focus on something else you’ve said, or they’ll claim that somehow feminism laid the foundations for trans rights and that we don’t owe trans rights to the trans men and trans women who fought for them, or even to the researchers and surgeons who developed lifesaving transition-related care, but instead to activists who were fighting for unrelated concerns and who, by and large, were and are hostile to us.

What they’ll never do is actually name something substantive. I’m not saying individual feminists have never done anything substantive for trans people, but I can’t think of a single thing, and seemingly even transfeminists can’t either, otherwise they’d tell me. I can think of a large number of bad things feminists have and continue to do in regards to trans rights. Janice Raymond contributing to the removal of trans healthcare coverage under the Ronald Reagan administration of the United States, resulting almost certainly in the deaths of trans people, for example. Or the fact that gender recognition reform in the UK has been utterly derailed by feminists, or the fact that feminists have effectively destroyed youth transition resources in the UK. Or how about the time Sheila Jeffreys called trans people parasites to the Houses of Parliament? Feminists have been calling for the elimination of trans people since at least the second wave, constructing glossy looking pieces of academic tripe from The Transsexual Empire in 1979 to the Declaration on Women’s Sex-Based Rights in 2019. In my own homecountry, the people spearheading the anti-trans movement aren’t a bunch of far-right Handmaid’s Tale larpers, dreaming of a Gilead knock-off they hope to institute one day–they’re feminists.

Of course, I’m ready to hear the cry of ‘those are TERFs!’ or ‘those aren’t real feminists!’, well, where precisely are the real feminists? Again, what have feminists done that is good for trans people? Can you blame me for being antifeminist, when all the feminists I see having any influence on my life and the lives of my people, both now and in the past, are ones who want to eliminate us? At the very best, most feminists are utterly indifferent to trans issues, in which case, why should I support a movement indifferent to my suffering? At worst, most of them harbour transphobic viewpoints–not, perhaps, as toxic as your average TERF’s, but transphobic nonetheless, and such a conclusion is the one I lean to, considering how prevalent transphobic attitudes are in all areas of society, and my own anecdotal experiences.

What is interesting though, is that even if the correct choice is to support feminism despite its sordid history, the response to antifeminist or even just feminist-sceptical trans women is still insane. You think a movement which has been tarnished so badly by transphobia would be a little bit more understanding to those trans women who are reticent to interact with it, but instead all they receive is shaming, misgendering, and outright hostility. There aren’t even attempts to create dialogue around this issue, unless you first kiss the feminist ring and swear undying allegiance, in which case any dialogue you do attempt to make will be neutered from the start, set out entirely according to the terms of cis feminists. 

A retort might be that feminism means equal opportunity for women, or ending oppressive structures against women, or gender equality, or whatever else, and so the only reason you could be opposed to it is due to being a misogynist who hates women. This is a specious argument. Movements are defined by their members’ actions, goals, and political stances–not by a pithy, idealised definition which floats in a vacuum. Unless you transfeminists think that the only reason one might be opposed to MRAs is simply because one thinks men should have no rights?

In sum, I see no reason to support a movement that hates me and wants me gone, nor do I see any reason for my sisters to support it either. Antifeminism is the only path to true liberation for trans people, and I dream of the day most trans women shed this unhelpful ideology.

[no-phrogs-in-hats]

If I Could Turn Back Time

Larissa Weems x Fem!Reader

A/N: This fic is cross-posted on Wattpad and Ao3

Chapter 6

Two weeks had gone by since Larissa offered me the teaching position at Nevermore. It was impossible to decide. It would certainly be an increase in my wage, but I’ve taught at Jericho High School for the past two years. I’ve gotten to my students, and I’d hate to leave them.

However, there was the subject of the students at Nevermore–children who don’t fit into societal standards. Children who needed all the love and care in the world. Children who were deprived of that love and care. 

I sat at my desk as my students worked on their assignment, zoning out on my computer screen for so long that it went to sleep. Contrasting thoughts bounced around my head.

You should go.

No, don’t do it. 

Yes, do it. It could be good.

But your students love you.

I came out of my trance when a chill ran down my spine. One of the girls from my class approached my desk after class, her voice quiet and meek.

“Um…Miss Foster,” she spoke. “At the beginning of the semester you had mentioned you had relations to Outcasts. Well…I’m doing a research paper on them, and I was wondering if you’d be able to answer a few questions for me.”

I smiled softly at her. “Of course, ask away.”

“So, you said you had relations with Outcasts,” she said after pulling out a notebook and pen. “Would you care to evaluate on that?”

If I was being honest, I truly didn’t mind her interviewing me. “Everyone on my mother’s side is an Outcast.”

She scribbled down my answers and continued asking me questions.

“If you don’t mind me asking, are you an Outcast?”

“...I am. But not many people know, so I’d prefer if you’d keep my name out of the paper.”

“Did you go to Nevermore when you were younger?”

“No, I never had the opportunity. I attended Jericho High School.”

“What’s your experience been as an Outcast?”

I thought for a moment before answering. “Well…I won’t lie to you. Most people didn’t know I was an Outcast. And because of that they treated me like any other Normie. So, it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. However, because I couldn’t go to Nevermore, I never had the chance to be myself, and I think that was the most damaging part of it all.”

A few days later, I was sitting in the teachers’ lounge, scrolling through my phone as my coworkers sat around the table laughing and carrying on as they ate their lunches.

“Seriously,” one of them laughed. “I will never wrap my head around why they still let those freaks into Jericho! They can stay at Nevermore through and through.”

“Careful, Rachel, you don’t wanna get canceled!” another jeered. 

Everyone around the table was laughing, except me. To stop myself from berating every single one of them, I stuffed my sandwich in my mouth.

“Oh, come on, (Y/N).” The guy next to me elbowed me playfully. “Why don’t you ever join in on our jokes?”

Another teacher across the table scoffed. “Don’t even try, Dave. She’s always been sensitive. You should’ve seen her back in school! You couldn’t even mention something negative about Outcasts around her or she’d beat your ass.”

“I just don’t find it funny,” I murmured. “That’s all.”

Before they could respond, I stood from my chair and threw my trash away. When I left the room, I could hear snickers from my colleagues, but I ignored them and kept walking down the hall. While I had aimed to go back to my classroom, I ended up running into the Principal, throwing him a friendly smile.

“Miss Foster,” he smiled. “I was just looking for you! Can you come with me to my office?”

I was confused, but still, I followed him. 

When we arrived at his office, I took a seat in front of his cluttered desk. He folded his hands on the table, sighed, and averted his eyes. 

This isn’t going to be good.

“It has come to my attention,” he said, “that there are rumors of you being an Outcast.”

My heart dropped. I had completely forgotten about the interview my student had me do. But how did it get out? She hadn’t used my name in the paper. But then, it dawned on me. As soon as my student left, another walked in to ask me a question. I had no idea how long he had been standing there.

There was no use in denying the rumors. It would come out eventually.

“Um…the rumors…they’re true,” I mumbled.

“This is not an easy thing to do, (Y/N).” He finally looked me in the eyes, and I knew instantly what was coming. “But, after the recent murders, a lot of suspicion lies on the Outcasts.”

Here it comes.

“And, I cannot have an Outcast working at this school.”

I took a deep breath as I processed his words. “But, Principal Miller, it isn’t–”

“I’m sorry,” he interrupted. “But, if parents hear word of it, they’ll become angry. They’ll insist on not sending their children to school, and we can’t have that.”

Tears of anger sprang into my eyes as my voice strained. “We can’t have that? Or you can’t have that?”

“(Y/N),” he said, “I know it’s–”

“It’s what?” I asked, my voice rising and the tears starting to fall. “It’s unfair? It is. You will never know what it is like to be treated lesser than everyone else. To be fired from your job for being different!”

He huffed. “I cannot have a…a…freak…on my staff!”

The way he shouted at me–the way he called me a freak–made me realize that no matter how many Outreach days we’d have, no matter how much Normies and Outcasts appeared to get along, they will never see us as equals.

“You’re to be gone before the end of the day,” he stated. “I’m sorry, (Y/N).”

After standing up, my hands balled into fists, I looked him dead in the eyes with a sneer on my tear-streaked face. “No you’re not.”

Without another word, I turned and left the room and made a direct line for my classroom to gather my things. It wasn’t until I had slammed the door to my house that I finally broke down. And, it was evident then, that the universe had made the decision for me.

So, after calming myself down, I picked up my phone and went into my contacts. With a shaking voice and trembling hands, I sniffled as I made a phone call, praying that she’d answer. “Larissa? Yeah, it’s me. Um…I was just wondering. Is that teaching position still available?”

[padded-daydreams]

Hello there. This is a sideblog of @pensarecool2 for sfw age regression content. This blog is mostly focused on diapers, so if you don’t like that, leave. If you would like to see our other sfw sideblogs, check out @smol-squid-says or @tiny-prismatic-tot. This blog is a safe space for pet regressors, age dreamers, age regressors, system littles, etc.

ABOUT

Call us James or Squid if there is a need to use a name. Trans-Masculine Genderqueer Man. Please use masc/neutral terms.

Body Age 19

Little age…. Not something we care about and anyways it varies a lot. We have littles/syskids and age regressors in our system.

DID system with autism.

We have a caregiver. She is our girlfriend, and we love her.

INTERACTION & TAGS

Please do not DM me with vague intent.

If you have a question about a specific diaper, please use the search bar and/or tags to see if I have talked about it before. If you cannot find an answer to your question, leave an ask, but please try to avoid asking questions that have been answered recently.

Feel free to submit sfw asks (try to avoid swearing). Please use complete sentences, and try to make any questions as clear as possible, so that I understand what you re asking. Brief asks devoid of context confuse me. Below are some examples of the types of asks I am and am not ok with. (List is not all inclusive. Like the rest of this pinned post, it can be subject to updating over time.)

Discussion/sharing of pleasant, sfw agere scenarios.

Questions regarding age regression, diapers, etc.

Positive statements and affirmations.

Non-invasive personal questions you’re curious about. (ex. “What is your favorite color?” - The answer is light blue.)

Pleasant images such as photos of your pets, coloring pages, diapers (in the package), or other regression items. (Do not send photos of yourself such as selfies, or you wearing a diaper. Do not send anything that is not completely SFW. Do not spam images. Be polite about whatever you decide to share.

Please do not submit asks with an expectation that we will be friends or that I will be a caregiver or other parental role towards you.

Anon tags -> 🌟

#💚 my diap -> Pictures still in the package, or otherwise clean diapers (for example, a single diaper shown in detail to demonstrate what it looks like).

#💚 in dips -> Pictures of myself wearing diapers. Please don't sexualize me.

#💚 diap talk -> Diaper discussion. Note that some asks on this topic may not be tagged with this.

#💚 little gear -> Stuffies, pacis, etc

#💚 smol gear review -> Reviews of various items related to age regression. I post my thoughts on many things, but longer reviews (such as how I feel about a specific product) will be tagged with this. If you want to see less detailed posts on something with random thoughts, check other tags with the product name.

#💚 smolspace -> Posts made while little. They may not always make sense.

#💚 smol thoughts -> Posts about being little while not regressed.

#💚 tiny vent -> Light vents regarding being little. Do not respond to these via the ask box.

#💚 reblogs -> Reblogs.

#💚 this was queued -> Queued posts.

#💚 positivity/affirmations -> Positive content! This tag will have various affirmations if you’re feeling down.

#💚 i was the anon -> This is a sideblog so sometimes I use anon. If I reblog your post using this tag, that means it was me.

#💚 miscellaneous -> Nonspecific category posts. Posts about the blog and blog interactions tend to be tagged with this.

#💚 ask response but positive -> Positive asks or responses or both. Also agere affirmations.

#💚 ask response but neutral -> Off-topic asks, often short of conversational. Basically a miscellaneous’ category for asks.

#💚 ask response but negative -> Rude asks, or asks about negative topics.

#💚 ask about regression -> Sometimes people ask me questions about regression topics.

#💚 ask about diapers -> Sometimes people ask me questions about diapers.

#💚 ask about pull ups -> Sometimes people ask me questions about pull ups.

#💚 ask about ‘stigma’ stuff -> Sometimes people ask me for my opinion on various diaper communities.

SPREADSHEET/DISCORD

We made a Discord group for age regressors who enjoy/are supportive of wearing diapers! The requirements to join are that your age be 18+ and that you be transgender (any and all non-binary identities are included). Send us a DM if you would like an invite to The Safe Little Crib. While the server is adult only, it is purely sfw.

We also made a Google spreadsheet organizing various diapers of different diaper brands. They are sorted by absorbency, material, color, and more! This spreadsheet took a very long time to make, and will be updated as necessary. This is intended as a resource to help anyone who wears adult diapers to find the one that is best for them! Click here to check it out!

DNI

Transphobic/Homophobic/Transmed/TERF/Acephobic/etc

Non-Disordered/Non-Traumagenic/Pro-Endogenic/Pro-Tulpa/etc

NSFW (Do not bring anything inappropriate or kinky to this page. I will not shame anyone who engages in kink, however, this is not the place for it. Do not interact here.)

If I notice you interacting from a NSFW account, especially if your bio and stuff is blank, I will block you. This account is SFW. Do not sexualize my content. I will not shame you for your content; but as an individual, you need to learn how to respect consent. The core of kink is consent, and if you do not understand that, then you are not welcome here or anywhere decent.

Also under this, please no sissy kink. Like most kink, I’m not judging. This is just not the place for it. Please none of that. Bye bye. Nothing personal. Just do not want to see it.

Pedo/MAP/Transage/etc

Under 18 physically (you can interact, just do not DM me, thank you)

Racist/Sexist/Xenophobic/Ableist/etc

Against age-regression & sfw diaper wearing

If you automatically infantilize autistic people regardless of if they are ok with it or not.

-> Click here for the more detailed list.

This post may be updated whenever. Failing to respect DNI will result in a block.

[trans-axian-archive]

i agree with most of the people in the list but i don't know about the nikudon one. i don't think they didnt color the nie brothers darker with the stereotype in mind. it's kind of harmful to put someone who may not know these things also like anon who didn't know about genderbending being transphobic. if you've talked to them they might be more aware? you're getting hate, but people who might just be unaware is also getting hate putting them on a list w/ people who ship incest is a bad move imo

I love how everyone responding with this criticism just completely ignores the fact that nikudons ships characters who met for the first time under intense power dynamics. jiang cheng was 15 when he went to the cloud recesses and met lan xichen, who was at least 20 years old, already a fully fledged sect leader, and probably even taught or at the very least assisted in some of the lessons jiang cheng received

jiang cheng, still age 15, met nie mingjue shortly after, who was Also at least 20 (more likely around 22/23) and a fully fledged sect leader. nie mingjue addressed jiang cheng and wei wuxian with respect and honor but he still addressed them like they were children and he was an adult because they Were

if jiang cheng had met the two of them for the very first time when he was like 25 and already a sect leader, that would be a different story. but he didn't. he met them when he was a child and they were adults. even if you don't think they would have gotten together until later, its incredibly insidious to suggest that nie mingjue and lan xichen would "wait" for someone they met when they were adults and he was a child, to grow up. if you change it so they meet later or alter their ages to make the age gap when they meet less troubling, you're just admitting theres something wrong there in the first place

further more, it is Not my job to educate every single person who creates and supports genderbends. if someone comes to me very politely asking me to explain it to them, then I'M the one making the choice to do so. telling me who I should spend my emotional labor on is incredibly disrespectful and rude. minorities do not exist for the soul purpose of educating every ignorant person on the planet

do Not compare people too cowardly to stand behind their own words and opinions with a face and a name calling me ugly, telling me theres something wrong with me, and completely disregarding my personhood, to me making a list of people who are popular but participate in behavior that I, or people I want following me, would not be okay with. I didn't tag them. I didn't tell anyone to send hate. I didn't spread lies about them. I provided information and sources. if you do not like my list, then block me. how dare you come into my ask box Anonymously trying to tell me what morals I can and cannot have

[anton-rasputin]

Hi! My sister is doing research on propaganda in Russia and she'd like to ask some questions and talk to an actual Russian person. Unfortunately she has had great difficulty finding someone and the deadline is tomorrow. If that is too short notice, I completely understand!

If you do have time, could you answer the following questions:

How do you experience propaganda in Russia?

Do you notice is, does it influence you or your friends/ family?

What is your opinion?

How do you experience living in Russia with propaganda/influence etc.?

Anything related to propaganda would be fanatastic!

Kind regards,

RoMythe (Robin)

Well, hello

I will be happy to answer these questions, because it is really important and you need to know about it.

▫️I have the most negative attitude to our propaganda. This stuff affects all spheres - from politics to the most ordinary household. The authorities (and their vile mutts at their beck and call) blatantly lie to ordinary people about everything. And unfortunately, this lie is very, very effective. It starts from the school bench. I'm one of the few who have understood this since childhood.

Yes, it affects my family. In Russia, there has long been a cult of hatred for the United States and the European Union, for their values (about which, by the way, there is also a lot of nonsense). My family believes that they want to seize Russia.

When the war with Ukraine began - and this, I note, has been going on since 2014 - there was a lot of rubbish on TV about this country. Ordinary Russian citizens were brought up with a persistent hatred of Ukrainians in the manner of the attitude of Germans to Jews during the Second World War.

My friends, fortunately, were not subjected to such propaganda. At least the ones I'm close enough to. Alas, I can't say the same about my family. This is the most typical picture - these people hate all NATO countries, hate everything connected with it. They firmly believe that Russia is "just defending itself from the terrible influence of the Western world". Well, fuck.

My opinion on this? I fucking hate this shit. It's good that I live alone now. I always tried to convey truthful information, but in response I received "you have been subjected to Western propaganda." Ironic.

▫️For those who know how to think and analyze - life in Russia is a living hell. There are many uneducated and aggressive people in the country who live like animals, in poverty and drunkenness, but still continue to love Putin and believe that everything is fine. Their favorite slogan is "others are jealous of us."

Peaceful protests and single pickets are aggressively suppressed by law enforcement agencies. People are fined and jailed for telling the truth. Politicians with a liberal and peace-loving position are being killed (I strongly recommend reading about Boris Nemtsov and Alexei Navalny).

Fascism reigns in all points, and this is a fact.

That's all. Of course, I can talk about a lot of details for a very long time and give many examples. But in that case, I'll have to release a whole book.

And thank you for the questions,

Anton

[elminx]

How did you gain such extensive and well rounded knowledge of astrology? Any book/resource recommendations? I’ve been highly interested in learning more about it for a while and I feel ready to dive in!

The short answer is that I've been studying astrology since the Fall of 1996 so we're coming up on 26 years of study. The longer answer is that I have read every single astrology book that I've ever gotten my hands on (I used to sit in the astrology section of Barnes & Noble and just read), I have investigated my own chart and the chart of every single person that I've ever been close to (and more than a handful of my "enemies"), and I am completely unafraid to ask questions. I have unabashedly made my friends, loves, and others my test subjects. This will be a long answer and I will write a separate post on astrology books (I've been meaning to anyway) BUT astrology is impossible to learn if you tackle it all at once. What you can see my synthesize IS 100% 26 years of study - I didn't start out here. Not by any means. I don't know where you are on your astrological journey, so I'm going to start very basic. The first thing that you need to learn is the signs. Inside and out. You need to understand the elements. You need to understand the modalities. You need to understand the seasons. You need to understand how each of these things comes together to create the energies that we associate with the signs. There is a reason that Taurus is fixed/earth/spring versus Virgo's mutable/earth/summer versus Capricorn's cardinal/earth/winter. You need to learn the ways that earth interplays with water and the ways the fire interplays with air and how the signs create oppositional energies with each other. Other than looking at your own birth chart (which you should ALWAYS be studying), I would not go any farther than that until you feel like you have reached a level of mastery of the signs themselves. Then, you need to understand the planets. These relate closely to the signs as each planet rules one or more of the signs, so your understanding of the signs will help you here. This is your first point of synthesis - you will realize that you were ALWAYS studying how the Sun shows up as a sign because that is what we are taught in pop culture astrology is. Don't focus on the outer planets - stick to the Sun and Moon here at first and then go on to look at the personal planets (Mercury, Venus, and Mars). This is where most of the meat of natal birth chart interpretation lies and is what you will, inevitably, spend the longest time in study. Until you think that you can explain why Mars in Scorpio is different from Venus in Scorpio which is different from Sun or Moon in Scorpio, you really need to remain here. Understanding how the energies of each sign work with each planet is vitally important - this is the longest course of study for a reason. Next, you need to understand aspects. This is how the planets interact with each other in positive or negative ways. This is a lot of math and you can have programs do it for you but you really should learn to somewhat do the math yourself if you are capable. This is really just basic geometry - everything is about angles because the horoscope is a wheel. The most important aspects are calculated at 30 degrees intervals - 30 degrees is two planets in conjoining signs, 60 degrees is a sextile or two signs in aligning elements (earth to water or air to fire), 90 degrees is square or two signs in non-aligned elements (earth to fire or air, as an example), and 120 degrees is rrine or two planets which share an element, and so on. Until you can explain this as well as I just did and understand the orb of effect (how many degrees apart from an exact angle if allowed for you to consider the planets in aspect with one another) - this is where you should remain. This is the meat of the natal birth chart - it shows our natural strengths and our weaknesses. After you have mastered this - you finally have a choice. If you are interested in continuing down the path of the personal birth chart, I would tackle houses next. If you are more interested in how we interact with each other - I would tackle synastry - the study of how two charts interact

with each other. If it's especially important to you, you could also specialize at this time by doing a deep dive into planetary retrogrades, or the outer planets and how they impact our lives, or some other astrological niche. (I went with Synastry here and no regrets, it's a fascinating subject) Transits - what I post about most often on this blog - as a synthesis of my knowledge of the signs, the planets, and the aspects. You need to have a deep knowledge of how a planet affects an individual who is born during a transit before you can start to understand how people living in the world will experience that very same transit. This point is the hardest to explain how to get here - all I can say is that I asked the planets to show me. This came to me when I started working planetary magic - primarily with Mercury and Venus but also with the others as well.

That was a lot. I hope that helps. Feel free to send me additional asks if this wasn't what you were looking for.

-Minx

[nerdygaymormon]

Hi, Uncle David! I can't express how happy I am that I found your blog and how helpful it has been in to me as a gay teen living in the heart of Mormon culture. My ward started doing second hour once again a few months ago. Every single time I go to Sunday school, our teacher ends up going away from the lesson and going off on a transphobic rant instead. 1/

Even though I'm cis, it hurts me a lot to hear him say horrible and mean things about a topic he clearly doesn't understand and has definitely never researched, especially when he spends the entire hour on this topic and never mentions the Savior once, which has happened a few times now. I can tell it doesn't just make me uncomfortable. 2/

I finally worked up the courage to talk to my transphobic parents about it hoping they would recognize how inappropriate this is for a Sunday school class, especially one for teenagers. (This was really difficult to me because they're very conservative (growing up, 'gay' was treated as a swear word) and I'm still in the closet to them and so bringing up anything related to the LGBTQ+ community has the possibility of outing me and I'm already walking on thin ice.) 3/

They didn't care and took my teacher's side, saying it was something kids my age needed to hear. I can’t just skip class and I really don't want to leave and let my classmates deal with it, but I don't want to talk to my teacher about it alone. My only friend in the ward is a closeted bisexual and he isn't willing to help me because he's afraid of ruining his reputation as the priests quorum first counselor. I don't blame him. I don't know what to do. 4/

I guess this isn't really a question, but I'm wondering if you have any advice or thoughts? Sorry that this is all over the place! Thanks you for all you do for the queer youth of the church. I hope you're doing well! ❤❤❤5/5

————————————————————

Thank you for the nice things you wrote about my blog!

I have found that people who think no one in the room might be tempted by a ‘sin,’ or if it’s something that won't affect them personally, they really go off on that ‘sin.’ It’s safe to make a big deal about it, to get even more extreme than the church’s position.

Gay and trans people are sometimes put into this category, they assume no one in the room is queer and they rant against these ‘sinners.’

I once went to my bishop and asked why we spend an hour lesson every year in Elders Quorum talking about gay people, when I’m the only gay person in the room? Why don’t we spend an hour talking about pornography, or adultery, or the Savior’s teachings on divorce, or something else that would be applicable to other men in the room, not just me.

I have a few ideas for you that I hope are useful

1) Speak to a leader you trust

Speaking to your parents was brave and a good move. It’s too bad they didn’t care and took the teacher’s side.

There is a ward Sunday School president. You could talk to him and explain that the teacher isn’t sticking to the lesson but instead is sharing his personal views about trans people and it’s really uncomfortable. You could point out there are LGBTQ people in the ward who are closeted and having a teacher rant and rave like this makes church feel really unsafe for them.

If you don’t feel comfortable talking with the Sunday School president, you could create an email account and message the Sunday School president anonymously. Obviously he’ll know it’s someone in the class, but he won’t know which of you it is.

If you feel comfortable speaking with the bishop, you could go to him instead of the Sunday School president.

2) Speak up in class. You could do so as an Ally

I know this is a very uncomfortable to do, and especially as someone who is closeted you may worry this directs a lot of unwanted questions about why you care about this subject so much.

When we speak up and challenge what the teacher is saying, we don't attack them and don't make it personal. Just because they're inflicting harm & trauma doesn't mean we want to do the same.

There's 3 ways to challenge the teacher. Point out the humanity of the people he's talking about. Speak of your own feelings & experiences. Ask him for sources that support his opinions.

“Hey, these are real people you’re talking about. You should be nicer. I have a trans friend and the way you describe them does not match reality.”

“You do know that trans people are allowed to join the church and be members, right? And we can use their pronouns and they can wear the clothes that match their gender identity. It’s in the online Handbook.”

“What did Jesus say about trans people?” “What revelation is the Church’s understanding of trans people based on?” (hint, Jesus is silent unless you count what he said about eunuchs not having to enter male-female marriages; we have no revelation to support the Church’s position about gay or trans people. If he says “Family Proclamation,” that’s a summary of our teachings, not a revelation, plus it says “other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.”)

“What does this have to do with today’s lesson on…?”

3) Ask a question when a leader is visiting or in a different class/setting

Sometimes leaders from the stake will visit a class and you can ask them a question and get them to speak. Granted, I’ve rarely seen visiting leaders come to Sunday School, but if this topic of queer people or trans people was brought up in another class or at a stake activity, you’ll have a different answer which you can then bring up next time your teacher starts talking about trans people.

If you get an answer in a different setting, you could comment that "This is very different from what Brother so-and-so says, thank you for providing a different point of view." It may cause someone to ask your teacher what it is he's saying.

4) Affirm yourself and push back against negative messages

Even if you don’t speak up, there is power in pushing back against negative messages, and replacing it with a positive message. Speak or think to yourself that queer people are loved by God, that we experience the world in unique and wonderful ways. We’re a blessing to the church and the world. Trans people are collaborators with God in their creation.

Negative messages affect us, we need to push back against them and replace them. Queer people do not get enough positive affirmations and reinforcements, particularly at church and other very conservative spaces.

[hatboyproject]

This is very long, but it might be of interest to someone, somewhere. I was asked recently about the direction I'm taking this romance in and whether or not I'll be addressing certain disability specific subjects within it. The answer, of course, is yes - I have always planned to do this in one form or another. Whilst no single piece of media can address everything I'd like to say on the subject, and I am working within the bounds of a larger story with its own pacing and focus to consider, there's still room to touch on some of these things.

I'm aware that my interpretations won't always be the same as others'. They are my interpretations, coloured by my experiences and feelings, and ultimately, this is my mod - I'm writing it for everybody who 'wears the ballcap,' so to speak! But, it's my interpretation of this character that I'm trying to share with everyone. Different people "took the helm" (laugh, I'm hilarious!) on writing Jeff across the trilogy, and as time has gone on I've been trying to convince myself that it's okay to have my turn at doing that, too - albeit in a non-professional capacity. So... Let's get into my interpretation of Jeff, where his stuff comes from on my view, and how things went to get him to where we are at the beginning of ME3, where the romance can occur.

A lot of how I interpret him comes from experiences in my own life with my own issues, and with those of my loved ones, some of whom are physically disabled in similar (but not identical) ways to Jeff. Some of this carries an element of catharsis for me.

Mechanically and narratively speaking, what draws me to writing this romance is the contrast between how these two characters are strong. It's this core idea that strength doesn't have only one manifestation in a person. That loving somebody doesn't have to be done only one way, that it can be beautiful and passionate and fulfilling - even if, when it gets physical, the headboard can't exactly be made to shatter with the force of it all. For me, it's also an exercise in insecurity and dealing with feelings of frustrated inadequacy - something that has plagued me my whole life.

Yes, yes, he's fictional - but the only way for me to really get into a character is to think about them as if they're a real being. When I look at Jeff as a person, I see many things... Some very positive, some pretty negative... I try to see him as a complete person with strengths and flaws.

On the surface he is often defensive, dismissive, sarcastic, and emotionally avoidant. But why is that? He is highly skilled, dedicated and capable, and knows it, but at the same time is a person who is constantly overlooked, underestimated, and asked to work thrice as hard to get the same considerations. Even then, his validity is questioned often by almost everyone around him. Over time, combined with the realities of living with his physical condition, this has given him some deep-seated insecurities. He feels the need to brag about his skills because they are, ultimately, the one thing about himself that he is absolutely certain has real worth. He overcompensates for this by abusing rules and technicalities wherever he can, because I think he knows that if he played life by the rules, he'd never have gotten anywhere. It's a stacked deck, so why not hide some aces up his sleeve? When you don't fit in the box provided, you question the value of every box you see.

When a person lives with this long enough, it can get hard to swim against the tide of society's expectations and still remain chipper about it, let alone not internalise some of it. It can cause a person to create a shell constructed out of distrust and untruth.

Living with a disability can really suck sometimes, and the suck is compounded when having to deal with your own frustrations plus those of others. In my personal experience, that happens a lot.

There is a certain sense of alienation that it can create, and it can become a kind of Sword of Damocles. It can be easier to anticipate rejection and others' assumptions, inabilities to understand or relate than to keep reaching out, only to have the same tired conversations about being different. I see a lot of this in him. I understand the chip he has on his shoulder.

I also see an extremely sensitive, empathetic, devoted and boundlessly loving person under all that. In fact, it's because of these things that I think he actively tries to distance himself. At the core of his being, I see Jeff as somebody who loves quickly and completely. I think he sees that as a vulnerability, incompatible with what he's learned he has to do to survive... and also with the machismo thing that comes with being a pilot. I think on some level he's terrified of that about himself, but he also can't help it. Jeff is ride or die. So, he tells himself he doesn't care and never lets anyone in. Any time anyone showed interest, he'd shut them down, alienate them, distance himself, and get in the seat of something that flies.

I think up until now, (ME3) he's seen intimacy both as a thing he longs for, but is also afraid of because of his fundamental knowledge that he is different. He thinks he can't "measure up" to what he sees all around him. He sees romance as something that will lead to his inevitable rejection and being crushed, emotionally - and if he's not careful, physically, too. I think he's embarrassed about that as well. He's very interested where it comes to all that, but the things he likes to watch, he knows he can't do like that. His only experience is second-hand as a voyeur, so some of his perceptions about that are unhealthy for him. I think any kind of attempt by the medical professionals in his life to broach the topic and offer support on, he's angrily changed the subject, or stopped listening to, because of the entire mess above. I think Jeff is kind of a lonely person, and some of it is self-imposed, though the reasons for him thinking it's the right thing to do aren't all within his control.

All this is difficult for him to reconcile with, because he has been desperately in love with his commanding officer since almost the moment s/he met him, but entirely unprepared to face it.

I think at first it was easy for him to dismiss it as a stupid crush. Everyone gets them when cramped up in close quarters in stressful situations and the Commander's magnetism was hard to ignore. But then it became clear that Shepard really hadn't read his file and really hadn't made any assumptions at all about him. S/he just wanted to know him, and as time progressed and that actually bore out, it got hard not to really feel something powerful, even though s/he was the Commander and it wasn't strictly appropriate to think that way. But, then there was that thing about not fitting in the box provided...

I think he agonised over coming to Shepard with it, but ultimately decided it would be selfish with everything they were going through. I think there was a part of him that decided s/he'd never be interested anyway, not when there were other, healthier people to choose from... People who didn't have these hangups or need special accommodations made for them. I think he decided to keep it to himself, for what he felt was both their sakes.

If/When the Commander quietly hooked up with someone else, I think he had a lot of feelings all at once. On the one hand, the person he cared for most was finding some peace in all the craziness. On the other, he wished that particular brand of peace was shared with him. Most of the time there were more important things to worry about, but during downtime, I think it was on his mind a lot.

I think he feels very sheepish about it, but occasionally his jealousy got the better of him and he interrupted Shepard at moments that got too hard to watch on the security cams. He watched the cams around the ship lot, and listened in on all the others a fair bit. I think because he saw himself as being at a remove from most people in a lot of ways, it was easy to justify that to himself. I think he saw it kind of like listening to a podcast or a soap opera or... Nature documentary, almost, or something. He got to know all of them in this way... Parasocially at first, but gradually, socially too. He felt better about trying, because he had this secret edge. Not the greatest stuff he's ever done, but... Complete person. Strengths and flaws.

And then, the unthinkable happened. He couldn't accept that the ship was dying. He was sure he could save it... But when Shepard's hand touched his shoulder, when s/he'd come back for him, he knew it was over. And then, it really was over. Shepard paid the price for his arrogance. The person he wanted to protect the most spun off out into space. The communicator between his mask and that helmet was still in range for long enough that he could hear the choking. For a long time afterward, even hearing people cough made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

The Alliance grounded him. I don't think he even had the capacity to be mad about it. I think that was a hard time for Jeff. I think between being burdened with the knowledge of the Reapers, the loss of Shepard, and the weight of his guilt, he was pretty close to the very, very edge when Cerberus knocked on his door and made him a bunch of promises. Pretty sure those promises had nothing to do with leather seats and everything to do with Project Lazarus. I'm very sure that the promise of Shepard coming back is the reason he even let Cerberus pay for the surgeries he agreed to undergo, because I don't think he valued himself much at all at that point. I'm pretty sure it was being ready to help Shepard that he was thinking about when he was learning to walk on his painful legs without crutches for the very first time. When Cerberus offered him a big shiny reset button I think he took it without hesitation because there wasn't anything else to hope for. I think seeing Shepard in the docking bay galvanised him and without ever telling them so, he pledged his life to them even harder than before. I think he told himself that he would support Shepard in every way he could. He would go wherever, do whatever, and when dealing with him, try to give them what he knew they needed; a goddamn break.

So, fast forward again, and now we are here. With all of this in mind... Shepard might have had a dalliance with someone else, or might've been too damaged by their previous love interest on Horizon, or whatever. Either way, I think Jeff saw it as not his business to even dream about that. I think the guilt tore him up every time he looked at Shepard. I think he felt like on some level, he deserved the pain of unrequited feelings which only ever got more intense. If he didn't think himself worthy of it back then, doubly so now. I think during the six months of house arrest, he tried to visit, but the Alliance denied his every attempt. Then the attack on Earth happened.

And so now we have Jeff, who, just like other humans is confused and groping about for a sense of what's up and what's down. Fortunately for him, Shepard is part of that sense of stability. He's just better at hiding it, because avoiding it and telling himself to focus elsewhere is second nature to him by this point. But things are a little different, now. Shepard seems looking around for a connection too. Future days seem short in number and the rulebook less and less important by the minute. Denying it to himself becomes impossible, and even EDI prods him about it. Shepard won't stop being so goddamn nice to him and even responds with things that if he didn't know better, he could interpret as... But then all the old insecurities come rushing back and he's walking on his own damn eggshells again. Fuck it. It's time to admit it. To come clean. S/he has to know.

So he asks. And s/he accepts. He's equal parts thrilled, stunned and terrified. He's even on some level, suspicious. Is s/he setting him up for a fall? Are they angry about his responsibility? What do they want out of this, actually? He hasn't explained what it'd be like. That what they're doubtlessly expecting of him is unrealistic. That he's completely inexperienced. I think at this point, he's a bit pissed off with himself and feeling a lot of dread because he's pretty sure how this is going to go. He realises he's got so caught up in it that he's done things in the wrong order. Damage control. He has to talk with Shepard and explain what s/he should expect from him, because it will be different. Manage expectations because he's had to manage his own. He goes in steeled.

But s/he knows it will be different, it turns out. As ever, Shepard has made no assumptions whatsoever. S/he only wants to get to know him. Wants him for everything he is, and accepts what he is not. It was never an issue for them beyond understanding how to work with it, because he is worthy just as he is, and has worked hard enough. He has to teach them about his limitations, about underestimating and overestimating... But where there's a will, there's a way. Time for a few shared moments of peace before the end of days, and through all the craziness, something feels right at last. He feels safe enough to let Shepard in properly. Thus begins his reassessment of himself and reckoning with letting go of the insecurities he has that aren't actually his own, but come from outside.

Also he totally gets to sext the Commander now when s/he's on missions. Nice.

So. There's a lot more I could say and expound upon but it's been hours and I have stuff to do. That's my direction. It's not going to suit everyone, and I doubt I can get everything across... But I'll try. I'm just one person, with just one perspective, with just one version of this story. But I hope people like what I come up with surrounding this framework, because I have lived a lot of it myself. Just a few less Reapers in my version. Not everyone's experiences and responses will be the same.

[btsandvmin]

Ask: Reply - 2021.04.16

Time to answer some more of your questions. I have a lot this time, and still a lot left I’ll have to save to another post. You are all very good at being curious and asking interesting questions. There are also some asks that are replies to old asks, and then I’ll include the link to the referenced post.

This time the topics will be:

Ask 1 - About KTH1 and expectations Ask 2 - KTH1 spoiler with “Oh lady” Ask 3 - Vminies getting superiority complex Ask 4 - Not dismissing the bond between Vmin and the other boys Ask 5 - Other people’s words can influence your thoughts Ask 6 - Vmin not sharing rooms in Bon Voyage Malta Ask 7 - Has being a Vmin shipper always been so overwhelming with all the content? Ask 8 - “Just a friend” interview Ask 9 - The garnet necklace Ask 10 - Vmin in CMs Ask 11 - Taehyung uncomfortable about shipping/tae*kook? Ask 12 - What did Jimin write on his shirt in Run ep. 53? Ask 13 - Gina Maeng ask follow up Ask 14 - Vmin’s love is beautiful (and so much nice praise omg)

Today’s post is a long one... Enjoy!

Ask 1 - About KTH1 and expectations

Ok, so I did write a shit post about this... (I mean… This is literally all Vmin’s songs so far ), but I still think your questions are worth a proper answer.

Honestly I think speculating about KTH1 is kind of hard, and as seen in the shit post I am quite torn with my expectations... In general I am the type who doesn’t like to expect too much in fear of being disappointed. I rather be pleasantly surprised. That being said Vmin does have a track record of getting involved in each other’s songs. I mean a lot is just speculation of course, but we do have confirmed cases as well, enough to not be too surprised if they would keep it up and do something for Tae’s solo album as well. (Tae saying his mixtape would be named Jimin back in 2016 still haunts me.)

On the other hand, they have already given us a lot of collabs. Adding more would feel more like a statement, at least if it would be only Jimin out of the members on that album. The thing is that if Vmin would have something “real” or at least if they are a bit careful with how they come across... I am not sure they would do something too “obvious”. But where such a line would be drawn is impossible to know. I mean clearly they managed to write and sing Friends and it worked fine, even if they did get more attention as a ship.

We also know Tae has been quite loud about Jimin in ways that single him out, so maybe they would really dare push the boundaries as far as actually including Jimin in the album somehow. It’s also very possible there could be other members, and honestly we probably shouldn’t hyper focus too much on it and that it has to mean something no matter if anyone is on it or not.

I think one of the rappers being on it is probably more likely out of the members, but it seems Tae has shown an interest in collabs with people outside of BTS, so that’s kind of what I am expecting the most. No matter who in the group is on it I am sure fans will make a big deal out of it, and maybe Tae would rather have his own thing for his first album. I really don’t know how his thoughts would go.

But again, looking at how Tae and Jimin has talked about working together, and have had moments like Tae promising Jimin a song or Tae saying they will work together again... It’s definitely not impossible to get another Vmin song. I do feel it’s more likely for any connections to be vague and not instantly noticeable though (at least not anything romantic looking because we know what happened to the Christmas song). Especially considering how they have only recently revealed things like 4 clock’s inspiration more openly and had Friends followed by Sweet Night. My main stance for any possible real ship is still that they have reason to be careful, and yet another Vmin collab, on Taehyung’s first personal album would probably raise some eyebrows considering everything else we already have. But it could also be me over analyzing them, and maybe they just really like and want to work together. Tae for sure has after all been vocal about this preference and want to work with Jimin.

So yeah, on one hand they have a track record that is hard to ignore... But on the other I wonder if they might want to add another “point” for ARMY to look at them and their songs. I also don’t want to assume that if there are songs on there that sound romantic that they automatically will be about Jimin. There will have to be legit possible connections for me to acknowledge them.

It’s tricky. I guess we will have to wait and see. I am kind of scared both that there won’t be anything or that there will be SOMETHING. Thank you for the ask, and I hope I shed some light on my thoughts on this subject. Either way I am very excited and looking forward to an album full of Taehyung’s own songs and the stories he wants to tell.

Ask 2 - KTH1 spoiler with “Oh lady”

I am not sure it is “lady”, since it’s a bit unclear in general. He also has a part that just seems to go “do be do” and I don’t know if the lyrics are even finished or if he worked with someone else etc. We basically lack a lot of information. But even so using lady/her/she etc. in a song doesn’t have to mean it is about a specific person or that the person is a she or that it is Taehyung’s own feelings (I know he said he usually sings about things he have felt, but just saying it doesn’t always have to be). 

Of course I don’t want to downplay it and say it doesn’t mean anything, but considering their fanbase is majority women, they live in a homophobic country and he has even been denied to sing a romantic song with a man before, it’s not impossible to add that to make it more “relatable” or less “gay”. God, that sounds terrible. I don’t want to start discussions where we don’t take their words for what they are, so I hope you might understand my point of view. That being said of course it could just as easily be to or about a specific woman in his life that we don’t know about. Or as you say, he isn’t actually in love but is simply writing love songs that could be inspired by non-romantic relationships or movies etc. as was the case for his inspiration for Winter Bear.

Tae also used “she” in Winter Bear, and that seems a bit forgotten. Or people try to say it has to be about his grandmother... Which we obviously don’t know, it’s just the woman people jump to since he used “she” and many people don’t like the idea of him dating a woman or writing about a woman we don’t know. Either way I think we need to remember that anything is possible and we don’t know them personally and how they think or why they choose to do what they do.

I think we need to remember that there is always going to be the possibility that ships aren’t real, that the romantic songs aren’t about Jimin and that either one of them could be in a relationship with someone else (all genders included).

Ask 3 - Vminies getting superiority complex

Hello! I want to address something that has been bothering me for a while now. I have been seeing some vminnies have a superiority complex just bcoz they ship vmin. Its very rampant among new vminnies and twt vminnies. I get that we all feel validated and happy when out OTP claim to be soulmates and bff. I feel that way too. But people have to remember that vmin are real people and their relationship is dynamic. Like they did grow from bff who used to tease e/o and fight alot to soulmates who are gentle and caring. Who is to say that one day they wont drift apart (i hope not and dont think thats gonna happen but for argument sake) so there is no reason to feel superior or look down on other shippers. 

If people think vminnies are superior bcoz they are not toxic they probably know they are lying. Lbr i have seen my share of toxic vminnies though may be a lesser number but they are there and its not the ship but its that particular person who is at fault. While i agree that some ship theories cultivate hate and toxicity there may be people among those ships who are just as sane and good as we claim to be. I just wanted to address this bcoz seeing some vminnies on twt saying locals thinking vmin were tgt after coway add is a validation kind of triggered me. I m sure there would have been similar responses to any other ship bcoz they all have been tgt for a decade and are very comfortable with e/o. I just wanted to talk to someone about this and i know you have discussed similar topics in the past. So yeah this was very long.

First of all, on request I won’t show your name, but thank you for sending me this and letting me know who you are. It’s always nice to know who is behind the question. But that being said I don’t mind people asking on anon, I totally get it being a lot easier to ask or question things when you don’t have to reveal yourself. Either way I am just glad to get interesting and important topics and I do think the things you bring up are worth talking about.

As you say, there is this thing when people start to feel and act superior for various reasons, and I too have seen some Vminies do this. Getting a lot of moments is sure nice. But honestly, just imagine if another ship came and mocked Vmin or gloated every time they got more moments. It has surely happened too, and I am sure it doesn’t feel very nice when on the negative end. Just be a decent human, ship moments will always vary and it’s great to be happy about getting moments, but there is no need to compare or look down on other ships. I say it again, shipping is not a competition, just enjoy your own ship and let others enjoy theirs.

As for feelings superior based on group behavior I think we really need to stop looking at groups and start looking at individuals, both when it comes to groups we are part of and groups we consider “bad”. I have said it many times, but individuals of other groups we don’t agree with won’t all be bad, or all stupid or young etc. We might want to tell ourselves they are worse, but it really doesn’t change much. 

Being “less bad” it not a merit and it shouldn’t be a competition. We all have our own selves to answer to and we should judge other people based on their actions and not based on what group they might belong to.

I think size and the toxicity of a narrative can lead to more people in certain groups behaving in toxic ways... But I think any person could happen to fall into these behaviors if not careful and aware. Often the change is gradual too, or you feel attacked by the other “rival group” and thus feel it’s justified to attack back, and so it escalates.

Vminies are at the moment as a group smaller, and thus have less “bad apples”. We likely also have a narrative for Vmin that doesn’t require as toxic mindsets, for example extreme jealousy or Vmin being forced to hide. But there for sure are still toxic Vminies, and there are also a lot of non-toxic shippers in all groups. Usually the louder ones are also the worst ones while the chill and nice will remain in their own lane and ship more peacefully. But being part of a smaller group doesn’t make you superior, your actions is what is important.

As for small moments getting noticed or other types of “validation” for your ship, of course it’s going to feel nice. However, what people see and think of any relationship in BTS is still just an outsider view and literally has no meaning for their actual relationship beyond it being a cute moment. That’s why size and popularity also doesn’t matter as any kind of “proof”. Interpretation will always just be interpretation, good or bad, if you like it or not.

Sadly I think we will get more and more toxic behavior from more ships as the fandom grows and as some things get more normalized within those ships’ communities. It’s about certain behaviors growing into a community culture... The more toxicity that is allowed the more others will follow. That’s why bringing up the problems is important, but trying to do so without shunning people so that they don’t go and create their own space where everyone else is the enemy. After all, being open and welcoming and understanding is much more likely to make someone listen and even change their mind than by attacking them.

I answer for my own actions. So does every person. I don’t want to be judged for everything every Vminie or ARMY or Multi K-pop fan etc. has done. Generalization is a huge problem in general, not just in fandoms or ship wars. I do try to be a positive influence, to not judge too harshly and to remember that being hostile won’t help any situation. But that’s about it. I am glad you brought up this topic, because talking about it is important, but sadly I don’t think there is a lot that can be done about it. Just try to be nice and open minded.

Thank you for the ask, I hope you all understood what I wanted to say.

Ask 4 - Not dismissing the bond between Vmin and the other boys

Thank you. I really see no need for it. It’s clear as day that they all love each other, and even if one pair would happen to be romantic instead of platonic that won’t change. We don’t have to compare and we definitely don’t have to downplay the moments they share with each other. All shippers should at the very least accept the the things they do and say as mostly genuine. I trust BTS and what they show us, it’s that easy.

I know some also get influenced by toxic fans, but we really need to remember that no narratives by fans matter when it comes to reality and what bonds BTS share with each other. They are all great people and seem to have such love and respect for each other I frankly don’t understand how you can be a fan if you think any of it is played up to the point some claim.

Likely no ship in BTS is real, but if any is, to me I am sure the ones involved would be happy and supported by the rest of the members. That’s why it doesn’t really matter what ship would be real or not real as long as they are happy. We shouldn’t let our own views and sometimes want or hopes affect the way be judge their reality. This applies for things outside shipping as well.

Thank you for your kind words. :)

Ask 5 - Other people’s words can influence your thoughts

Indeed. The brain is a powerful thing. This is very obvious if you are a multi-shipper or a general fan, but BTS truly has a lot of questionable moments between all kinds of pairs. Focus is a interesting thing. If you like something you will notice it more, and you will also remember it more while you forget other moments. Likewise if something is “negative” like a rival ship you are likely to notice them more as well. This happens even if you just watch the general content and get your own bias. Imagine then how it might influence you when others keep repeating either your happy interpretations or things you worry about? You’ll get it stuck in your head and remember it more than other things.

Like isn’t it funny how we might gush about Vmin sharing beds, or worry about ji/kook or tae/kook cuddling while hope/kook literally sleep wrapped around each other in both Bon Voyage 3 and 4? Sometimes it’s all about perspective.

By now we need to realize that fan perspective will influence us a lot. And in particular if a lot of people say it or if it is presented in a way that makes it sound logical and intelligent. Words have power. 

I still think using “Vmin is dead” or spreading worry often in itself leads to people thinking it and it being somehow accepted as fact. In similar fashion getting to hear about certain ships or certain narratives will make us notice things in relation to that. My own words and posts too will have influence on some people that read them. That’s why I try to be so careful, and why I try to avoid using strong words or claims that might cement themselves in someone’s mind. (I’ll actually talk more about the power of language in my big analysis as well)

Thank you for your input, it’s definitely an interesting thing to consider and another aspect of why shipping mentality is so complicated. 

Ask 6 - Vmin not sharing rooms in Bon Voyage Malta

Hi and yes, I have answered this before HERE, but it’s ok. I know it’s not easy finding old topics amongst my collection posts.

Collection of asks - BTSandVMIN Collection of asks 2 - BTSandVMIN Collection of asks 3 - BTSandVMIN

In short I think Vmin wanted to share rooms but that Taehyung got fooled when Jimin stopped him from checking the upper room. Because it seemed like Jimin stopped him from walking into that room by saying he couldn’t peak Tae probably assumed it wasn’t Jimin’s room and that when Jimin said it was his room he was joking (his face was definitely something). So yeah, I think he just got fooled by Jimin’s statement about not being allowed to look inside the room before picking. There are other interesting things about this whole moment, but the one thing we should take away from it is how it is one out of now many examples that seem to show that Vmin have a preference to share rooms/beds. Thank you for the ask. :)

Ask 7 - Has being a Vmin shipper always been so overwhelming with all the content?

I wouldn’t say it’s something recent. I say it often, but we really do get very intense periods from time to time with many of the ships. For example in February 2017 with ISAC, fan signs and everything else we got a lot of Vmin too. I remember being overwhelmed myself, and that was coming out of BST era Vmin. We got many moments every day and that’s just one specific period I can remember. 

 Over the years sometimes we do get these very intense days or weeks with a lot of moments at once. Usually I get asks like “do you think something is up with Vmin lately” or “wow I can’t believe how much Vmin we have gotten lately” but really, it’s hard to tell, because it really does happen from time to time. I also still say we always get Vmin moments regularly as long as we get BTS content, but sometimes a bit more and sometimes less. I am sure there will be more times when we also get “Vmin is dead“ and worried people because we get less moments than they expect. It just happens, up and down and around it goes.

As for what ships are big I will definitely say Ji/kook and Tae/kook are the biggest, but that all BTS ships are big by now. Meaning as soon as we do get moments it will be seen online. Especially if you follow people who talk about it of course. I also think what platform you are on can result in some ships being seen more than others. For example I know ji/kook is by far the biggest BTS ship here on Tumblr while Youtube seems to have more tae/kookers.

Thank you for the ask. Let’s hope Vmin keeps overwhelming us. (But let’s not start to worry if they don’t) ;)

Ask 8 - “Just a friend” interview

Ah yes, I have a bit of a soft spot for this interview myself. I am not sure, but I think it might be from 2017 (since Tae wrote a birthday letter to Jimin in 2016), or at least that’s when I found it and saved it down. I haven’t actually tracked the original source. You can find the translation in the link shared HERE, credits to @95z​.

Seeing this close after the chaos of Let’s BTS and other letter confessions it really does seem very cringe for them to express sincere thoughts in these more formal ways. I can’t blame them. 

I do think this interview is yet another example of how much Vmin has tried to adapt to each other, learn and be more open with expressing how they feel. They literally inspire and learn from each other in how to express themselves. Isn’t it completely endearing? 

I also love how they get each other to feel strong emotions and how they are there for each other when in need. On a slightly more analytical note I also can’t help but note the “just a friend” vs “soulmate” descriptions and how they seem to have a hard time putting it into proper words. We already know this of course, but yeah... They really don’t have an easy time describing their relationship.

Thank you so much for sharing this moment. I was going to talk about it in my big analysis anyways, but honestly I can’t save everything for it, and you mentioned it so who am I to keep it to myself.

Ask 9 - The garnet necklace

Oh yeah, I know that JK wore it once and that the talk was that a fan gave it to all of maknae line. Not much was ever confirmed from what I know, but regardless it doesn’t change why I think it’s a Vmin/soulmate necklace and why I see it as special.

Here is the thing, when I use “Vmin thing” it really doesn’t have to be exclusive. To me it’s the context around it and how they have used it and even reacted to it that makes the garnet necklace something special for Vmin. In the case of the soulmate necklace Vmin wore it a lot. Almost constantly during a big part of 2017 and even a bit into 2018. They also wore it at the same time a lot. I find this very cute, and we all know “couple items” is something all fans enjoy even if it would just be a platonic relationship behind it. But if both of them wearing it was all there was, as a lot of Vmin sharing clothes (or BTS in general sharing clothes) I wouldn’t really think too much about it beyond it being cute. It could still be just a cute thing that Vmin did, but I personally see it as something beyond the normal clothes/jewelry sharing.

(At the very least you can remember Vmin did this while people thought their relationship was dead, which doesn’t make much sense to do if you hate or dislike someone.)

The things I find more noteworthy about this necklace is the fact that the fandom picked up on it and because they wore it so much and so often at the same time it was dubbed the “soulmate necklace”. Possibly knowing this Tae also brought specific attention to the necklace at two times, as if wanting to show it off. Interestingly enough, in one of these times Jimin seemed to ignore Taehyung who was bringing attention to it on purpose. For me it came across as another thing Taehyung wanted to show off and that Jimin was a bit more careful about. 

Of course I could have read it wrong, maybe Jimin just misunderstood. But even so, Tae did bring attention to it in specific relation to Jimin. You can watch the clip HERE. (BTS Tell Us What They Love About Each Other & An Update On Tony & Nate From America Hustle Life) 

The other time was in Run ep. 39, right after Vmin talked about being in school together and showing off their school uniforms. If Tae is the one to try and highlight something, I feel it likely has some meaning to him at least.

Either way the necklace is basically a symbol of Vmin’s relationship and the fact that they liked it so much and wore it together during a long period I think they liked wearing it not only because they both happened to like the design but because they both had it. If JK also had one and didn’t use it of course it could include him, but I will still say it remains significant for Vmin’s bond with each other.

As for buying a necklace together they haven’t talked about this one in particular, but Tae did mention he bought his tiger necklace with Jimin in NY, so maybe you are mixing the two things up?

Ask 10 - Vmin in CMs

Thank you for loving my blog and for the ask! :) I am not sure if you perhaps meant in a lot of BTS own photoshoots/units as well, but I’ll focus on CMs in this post since that was your direct example. I might go a bit beyond here, but I saw it as a good chance to revisit some Vmin ad moments.

I wouldn’t personally say we have gotten “way more” but I do think because of their Friends unit they got to do some more interviews together and some CM stuff too. I also think we have gotten more BTS commercials in general now, likely because it’s an income alternative to touring during the pandemic. So that obviously means more CMs, and more chances for them to be paired up. They also have gotten paired with others of course (like in the Bodyfriend CM or Baskin Robbins), but most commonly they aren’t divided in smaller groups at all.

We also have gotten Vmin paired up before, both in photoshoots and in CMs. Of course we saw some great ones in 2016 with Puma and NUGU, but I don’t think we got that much more in 2016 and before than in 2017-2019. I think what we can see is BTS having more endorsements after Covid.

Like honestly, the Puma adds are iconic. Of course the original one, but also the revisits from 2018. Puma definitely seemed to like to pair Vmin in particular. (There are so many good examples from Puma that I’m not including)

We also got a snippet in the Hyundai one, also from 2018.

Another snippet from the Coconut Chicken ad from 2017.

I mean, I don’t know if I should count the snippets at all, like from BTS x VT cosmetics in 2019, but I feel sometimes just being seen in the same frame seems to get attention as being paired up so. (I decided to not include being together when it’s at least a third member in the frame)

And guys... Have you ever watched BTS and the milk song?

What did we get so far more recently? In 2020 we had the Hyundai interview.

And the hyundai #PositiveEnergyChallenge

Fila provided a nice one, also from 2020.

Samsung gave us a snippet recently.

Coway was basically couple goals and like the best one in my own opinion (besides Puma because it is going to take a lot to beat Puma).

But other than that? I don’t think we have seen it that much, have we? I am not complaining or anything, like I am happy with what we got, but I don’t know if it’s that much. I might forget some obvious ones, but these were the ones I had top of mind. Feel free to add ads if you can think of more recent ones that I left out.

So I think we have gotten more BTS ads in general, also more where they are not all of them or single focus, and that we have seen maybe Vmin getting paired a little more after Friends. But to me there is such a small difference I can’t really say if it is anything particular to Vmin or just BTS doing more CMs.

I mean, I don’t have a sheet of who has been paired with who and how many times over the years. But either way I don’t think we should look too deeply into things like CMs or even photoshoots units. Thanks for the ask though, I hope you enjoyed this mini collection. :)

Ask 11 - Taehyung uncomfortable about shipping/tae*kook?

So this is a thought sent in after THIS ASK though it really brings up a new subject, which is that of Tae possibly being uncomfortable with shipping. As for Tae saying that to a tae/kooker in particular I think we have to remember it could very easily just have been in the moment and we can’t know why he decided to reply to that person in particular.

The Vmin post was not invasive and it wasn’t romantic. I mean, I do think Tae keeps showing again and again that if there is any person in BTS that is special to him it’s Jimin. But the difference in the posts also likely matters, but we can’t know how much. We don’t know if Tae would feel annoyed if a Vminie wrote the same thing as the tae/kooker did, and we don’t know if it was just in that moment that he got fed up with the shipping discourse in general, or if it was because it was tae/kook.

Honestly any shipper, regardless if a ship would eventually prove to be real or not, should not go and invade spaces where the boys get exposed to it. We don’t know if Taehyung would have reacted in a similar way if it happened to be another ship.

Personally I don’t think tae/kook drifted apart as a result of shipping, because honestly they still kept being pretty intimate physically and engaged in fanservice on stage etc. If they truly were uncomfortable with the idea I just don’t think they would “feed it” much at all. I think as they said in ITS they just, kind of changed and it became harder to talk. I’ve talked more about tae/kook and my views on their bond in THIS POST and a little in THIS POST as well as about BTS possible stance on shipping HERE.

I also think all of BTS has a pretty good distance from hate and fandom speculations in general. I think that because they know about shipping and partly also feed into it they probably expect crazy people to some degree as well, even if they probably don’t like it. Hetero shippers as well, or solo stans etc. have very toxic behaviors at times, but I think BTS can recognize that it is kind of “bound to happen” with their popularity, no matter what they do about it. Not saying they would like it, and they could definitely feel awkward or annoyed because of it, but it doesn’t seem to bother them too much as I think they can detach themselves from it pretty well.

I also think “fan opinions” in form of rival shipping wouldn’t really harm a hidden couple as it first would likely be a sort of “shield” and second because they have their relationships and are likely comfortable with them on their own terms. What fans think is probably secondary.

It is possible that they could get annoyed or frustrated at times, but again, if they truly felt bothered by it they probably wouldn’t do a lot of the things they do. Because I am sure they are aware to some degree that fans scrutinize their every move and ship moments. Both Tae and Jimin are some of the most physical out of the members, and also some of the members that seem to like to initiate fanservice moments... So I doubt they would have much problem and can feel secure enough in their relationship no matter what fans think.

Ask 12 - What did Jimin write on his shirt in Run ep. 53?

Hi, I guess you got curious after I talked about this episode recently in my post Ask: Reply - 2021.03.30 (Ask 8 - Going down the rabbit hole, micromoments and shipping vs believing).

I don’t know hangul, but I do know what “Jimin” looks like. On Jimin’s shirt from behind the scenes of Run ep. 53 you can see he’s written his own name “지민” Jimin followed by what looks to be “ 님 “ which is nim. So basically the text on the container in the picture says Sir Jimin.

Jimin seemed very keen on writing his name on both his own shirt and on Tae’s and even tried on JK’s. He failed of course, but he sure did try. 

Thank you for the ask, and isn’t Tae cute?

Ask 13 - Gina Maeng ask follow up

Glad you liked my reply. :) (From Ask: Reply - 2021.03.30  Ask 4 - Idols dating members of the same group). Yeah I get what you mean, talking about it openly I suppose isn’t so normal. But since it seems to be more and more fans who assume it happens to some degree maybe it’s not so strange if it starts getting more talked about as well. I’ll take it as a good sign, even if the information is nothing new in itself, being more open is going to make it easier for fans to realize it’s possible for their idols to be LGBT+ or have hidden relationships.

As for K-Population it doesn’t seem to be too well known, but it’s one of few actual examples to be found. So yeah, interesting that we know it has happened, and also that it shows what risks it could mean to get involved with a group member. I think the risk of a falling out is something a lot of shippers tend to forget. Anyways, thank you for your reply. ^_^

Ask 14 - Vmin’s love is beautiful (and so much nice praise omg)

Oh my... I am not sure I have ever been called sweetheart by anyone ever before. Thank you! You are making me blush with all the praise.  💜💜💜

But really, we can all just watch Vmin in awe and be happy they have each other and feel such immense love for each other, no matter what that love is. It’s kind of amazing. Like even if they are platonic their relationship is so wholesome and they put so much love and effort into it that it’s truly inspirational. I love when we get bombed with moments like this with a very intense period of great Vmin interactions. As you, me too never fail to feel all soft watching them together.

95z is love and what a love they share. Truly wonderful. 💜

You take care too, and really, thank you so much for this lovely message. it means a lot and is very heartwarming.

And with that sweet ask I’ll end the post. There was a lot of very different questions and I feel I could have written more about many of them, but alas I need to remember I can’t write full essays on everything or I would never get anything posted. Thank you all for reading and I hope you found my thoughts and speculations interesting. ^-^

[harrysballerinahouse]

COVID ON TOUR

They had met in early 2021 an accident really, if it hadn’t been for the pandemic.

Y/n had moved to the UK from Australia, it was her dream to go overseas and after procuring a job as a travel nurse with the NHS her dream was coming true. She had split with her lying, cheating ex and wanted to live her life on her own terms.

The love on tour preparation is what started it all. Harry and the team needed a nurse willing to travel with them, Y/n fit that perfectly no partner, no kids young and healthy, a high ranked professional who had put in plenty of extra work to get here.

Two weeks before leaving for tour the pair had met and instantly connected but both thought they wouldn’t have a chance, he, a high profile celebrity, her, a travel nurse who probably didn’t want to be held down by anyone.

“Hi, I’m y/n” she smiles they knock elbows and their eyes meet,

“I’m….” He trails off

“Uh, I’m Harry” he blurts out quickly to not seem weird.

She smiles under her mask, he knew it was probably an infectious smile, her green eyes sparkling.

“Lovely to meet you Harry”

Before they could chat they were both whisked away to a meeting about tour and their COVID plan

They sat across from one another Jeff makes a start the pair glancing at one another periodically

“We made the choice to bring in a nurse for the duration of the tour, she will be taking point on anything and everything COVID and health related, y/n would you like to take over?” Jeff asks

There is an awkward silence

“Y/n?” Jeff asks again

She was consumed by the curly haired man sitting across from here, she looks up at Jeff,

“Um, yes…sorry, for those I haven’t met yet, I’m y/n, I’ll be taking care of everyone for the duration of tour particularly around COVID I know this is a super scary time for a lot of people but if we follow the COVID plan we have in place then we should be able to keep the team and fans safe” she smiles under her mask before Harry raises his hand she nods towards him

“What does our COVID plan look like?” He asks pushing his mask up his nose.

He wanted to keep her talking, her voice was like angels to him.

“We’ll be wearing masks in most situations, fans will be required to wear masks at shows, if we can social distance masks can be removed and we need to adhere to density limits, everyone here will be subjected to daily testing, and will be required to be fully vaccinated but still tested and isolate if they begin to show symptoms”

He couldn’t help but get lost in her eye he was so deep in thought when someone else asked a question,

“What about fans? How to we minimise risk of COVID being brought to us”

Y/n nods turning a page in her folder.

“The plan for fans is for them to be able to show they are fully vaccinated, or provide a negative test which can’t be any more then 72 hours old, if anyone has any other questions or concerns my number is on the bottom of our COVID plan, feel free to reach out anytime, I’ll also have a space set up at each tour location, except for London I have an office just down the hall if anyone needs anything”

She smiles under her mask before sitting down. The rest of the meeting was pretty dry the pair still glancing at one another.

(…)

They had grown closer the last few months, the daily testing gave them an excuse to see each other everyday even if it was for Harry to have a swab shoved up his nose.

Regardless, they had become good friends, she watched every single show as if she had never seen it before and he still yearned to get closer to her.

It was around 2am one night when y/n phone began to buzz, she rolled over and sighs looking at the number trying to wake up she had no idea who it was but answered anyway,

“Hello?”

“Y/n?”

A familiar voice belonging to the curly man she couldn’t stop thinking about echoed down the line,

“Harry,…” it was like she was instantly awake.

“Is everything ok?” She mumbles as she sits up in her bed rubbing her overly tired eyes

“I’m sorry to call at such a time but umm, I’ve um got some symptoms”

He sounded scared but who would blame him if he was, it took her a moment to register what he said

“That’s ok”

She tried her best to reassure him

“Um, send me a text with your hotel room number I’ll come and do a rapid test now”

“Thank you, I truely appreciate it” he obliged before hanging up seconds later she got a text with his room number quickly dressing grabbing a few things before leaving.

She made it to his door and all of a sudden she felt nervous, anxious even she knocked slowly after she had knocked she went to find her mask, dropping everything including her phone, she knelt down to pick everything up when the door opened, he towered over her he looked down a small smirk on his lips,

“Hi” he kneels down to help her looking into her eyes, I was rare he saw her without a mask

“Sorry” she apologised quickly looking down “I-I was trying to get my mask” she sighs

The pair pick everything up before heading into his hotel room sitting on the couch together, she set up the test and asked him about his symptoms the test processed in the usual 15 minutes

“It’s not COVID” she smiles taking her mask off he let out a sigh of relief

“May I?” She asks her hands out to feel his neck he nods lifting his chin slightly

“You know a huge part of staying heathy on tour is getting enough rest Harry, everything looks ok, I think your just run down”

He nods knowing full well she was right, he had been having late nights early morning and wasn’t really looking after himself very well

“Can I get something off my chest?” He looked nervous as she had when she had approached his room she nods her full attention on the perfect man sitting in front of her

“I get to do what I love everyday…” he sighs looking down at his lap

“But it’s lonely” he says quietly

“I surround myself with all these people at my shows but at the end of the day it’s just me, it’s lonely”

He sniffles softly, it broke her heart to see him like this she leans over pulling him in for a hug.

“I can understand that” she whispers

They hug for a while before she pulls away

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

She was sincere in her asking she only wanted him to be ok,

“It’s ok if your not comfortable with it…but would you stay here tonight?”

He looked so nervous his red eyes looked straight into her and at that point she knew she was gone, she had fallen for him, before she could even think of a response she found herself nodding

“Of course”

(…)

That night still played on his mind she was right there he asked her to stay with him and he couldn’t bring himself to make a move, they had been getting closer and closer since spending more time together

The last show in Texas was tonight and he had pulled some strings to make sure y/n had the night off to watch the show he had made sure she would be front and centre so she could let her hair down.

He started looking for her in the crowd as soon at the show started and instantly found her, all of a sudden he was almost breathless, she looked incredible a tight red dress highlighted her curves perfectly, it was by far the most energetic show he had for a while and there was only one reason why.

(…)

After the show y/n came backstage with the rest of the crew that attended she caught Harry’s eye as he walked by and smiled at him through her mask.

He was determined to make his move tonight.

She met up with Mitch and Sarah and some other crew while waiting for Harry to reappear they had planned to go out for drinks after the show before moving onto the next stop on tour.

They head out, Harry staying close to y/n side there were so many people round and she was honestly so tiny he thought she might just disappear in the crowd.

(…)

A few hours had passed and everyone was either drunk or almost drunk Mitch and Sarah had snuck off and everyone else had started to call it a night leaving just Harry and y/n.

Mitch and Sarah reappear after about half an hour her hair visibly messy and Mitch out of breath

“So we’re gunna go, you guys have fun”

He taps Harry on the shoulder knowing what Harry wanted before the pair scurry off.

Y/n was dancing not too far from where Harry was sitting, he couldn’t help but squirm a little, she was so fucking hot.

He stood walking towards her placing his hands on her waist, he was drunk enough to not be so worried about crossing lines and knew if he was going to get his feelings out he needed the help of the liquid courage.

He placed his lips next to her ear,

“Just me” he says as he starts to move with her

He looked down at her tension in her cheek releasing, she was smiling.

They danced together for a while Harry tying his best not to get hard.

“Wanna get some air?” Y/n says in his ear, it made skin dimple and sent chills down his spine, even with asking something so simple he was baffled at what she was doing to him, he nods taking her hand leading her outside.

He kept her close not wanting anyone else to touch what he wanted to be his so badly.

“I think I’m going to call it a night” she says, she was glistening with sweat on her neck and chest he bit his lip trying his best to not give his attraction away

“I’ll walk you back” he mumbles his voice rasping she follows Harry who got them dropped back at the hotel they were at.

Walking her to her room he knew this was his chance to make a move, but how.

“Thank you for bringing me back” she smiles up at him taking off her shoes

“Always a pleasure” he didn’t want to let go of her hand he longed for this for so long and it was right there.

This wasn’t nerves anymore, he was still drunk and so was she, he simply wanted it to be perfect he never wanted to be without her, he’s in love.

“Anyway I should get to bed” she says wobbling a little he couldn’t help but chuckle

“Umm, yes of course” he says letting go of her hand “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, or today really” he smiles, he was making this awkward for himself.

He leans down to kiss her cheek as she goes to do the same to him but accidentally brushes her lips against his they lock eyes for a moment.

She couldn’t help but breath heavily not moving a muscle Harry looked at her for a moment before pushing his lips onto her again,

She wraps her arms around him his hands running down her sides to her bum squeezing erotically, he opened the door to her room placing his foot in front so it wouldn’t close,

He picked up her both hands on her ass as she wraps her legs around him moving toward the bed was his goal

He laid her on the bed his lips still on hers their tongues dancing he slowly pulls away nibbling on her lip as he does so she smiles up at him biting her lip.

He smiles back at her “you’ve got no idea how long—” he didn’t get to finish his sentence before she pulled on his shirt to connect her lips with his again.

As they continued to make out he slowly moved his hand up her tight dress, he moved to kissing down her neck, small moans escape her mouth,

“H-Harry…” she moans softly breathlessly, this turned him on immensely he pulls her hips into his pelvis she smiles to herself feeling his growing member against her leg.

She tugs on his shirt trying to pull it off, he pauses for a moment coming back to her lips, she un-bottoms his shirt pushing it off his shoulders he smirks on her lips.

He pulls away and she admires his tattoos reaching out to touch them smiling, she begins giggling a little getting on her knees she pulls Harry down to lay on the bed straddling him she kisses him tugging on his bottom lip.

She moves down kissing his neck his torso until she got to the waistband of his pants. She looks up at him a devilish look in her eyes.

He can’t help but get harder at the way she looked at him, she was sweet but naughty he loved that and he loved this side of her.

She removes his belt, undoing his pants pulling them and his boxers off at the same time he eyes widen a little with what she was met with but didn’t hesitate in placing his member in her mouth he lets out a loud groan

“Fuck” he mumbled his hand grasping the sheets.

She could feel herself getting wetter by the second she moans on Harrys member hoping it would drive him wild, which it did. He quickly scoops her up flipped them so she was underneath him he ripped her dress off before placing his mouth on her breasts his right hand made it’s way into her underwear rubbing her clit she moans loudly spreading her legs wider.

He smirks licking down from her breast before kissing along her hips he pulls her underwear off before placing his tongue on her entrance feeling her juices coat his tongue drove him insane.

She let out a loud moan her back arching slightly he smirks on her knowing this was his doing, her licks from her entrance to her clit sucking softly

“Fuck me Harry” she moans her hands make it to his curly locks tugging on it he couldn’t help but growl, this was driving him fucking insane he had a stunningly hot girl in his bed moaning for him.

He continues to eat her out her juices mixing with his own saliva dripping from his chin he had his hands on her hips so she couldn’t squirm away when he felt her abs tighten, she was getting close.

“Oh…oh..fuck, Harry, I’m gunna cum”

He moves from her clit back to her entrance, moving his hand to work on her clit her moans start getting louder she begins to squirm

“Harry I’m cumming!” She moans before her body begins to shudder his tongue being covered in the sweet tasting fluid he was hoping for, he smirks cleaning her up with his tongue before coming back to her lips kissing her passionately.

“Tastes like strawberries” he winks in between kisses smirking at her she giggles realising the double meaning.

He lifts her legs so that her knees were bent giving him better access to what he needed most, he positioned himself before looking down to check she was ok, the pair had sobered up but this was what they had both wanted for so long, he slowly slides his throbbing member into her causing her to gasp biting her lip which went Harry into a craze.

He growls softly as he thrusts slowly, she’s looking up at him with the most innocent eyes but fuck was she dirty, she was a massive tease and Harry going slowly meant she got to have fun.

She started to grind her hips with Harry’s movements causing his knees to become weak, he leaned down grabbing her chin kissing her passionately she could taste the strawberries that he was referring to and pulled Harry closer.

“Fuck me harder H” she whispered in his ear causing that feeling in the pit of his stomach he grabs her ass with one hand the other beside her head he begins to thrust harder and faster he knew he wouldn’t last long if she kept talking like that.

The pair started moaning almost simultaneously and Harry couldn’t hold on much longer his groans start to get louder his movements become a little messy.

“Fuck babe, you’re so good” he growls into her ear sending her wild

“Harry, I’m gunna cum again” she moans

“I’m almost there babe” he groans her juices where dripping from him beads of sweat forming on his forehead his movements get a little slower his groans getting more intense and frequent before seconds later he finishes inside her cause her to climax again.

He lays by her side admiring the beautiful woman next to him pulling her close,

“I can’t believe I waited to so long to make a move” he smiles catching his breath,

“I’m glad you finally did” she smiles leaning over to kiss him softly the taste of their actions still on their tongues.

They lay for a while when y\n phone starts to ring

“Weird, it’s like 3am” she says getting up to go and find it,

“It’s Jeff” she calls out to Harry before coming back to bed answering it

“Y/n, hi have you seen Harry”

He sounded frantic

“Mitch and Sarah said they left you two at the club together but he’s not answering his door I’ve been here for 10 minutes and tried calling him so many times”

He was freaking out

“Ummm”

She wasn’t sure how to explain this

“Harrys with me, he’s ok he’s safe everything’s ok”

The line went silent

“Hello?” She asks

“He’s what?” Jeff voice echos now he just sounded angry

“He’s with me”

Harry hold his hand out to take the phone y/n obliges figuring Harry would be able to fix this

“I’m fine…yes we left together….We may have….I haven’t asked her yet….because I’m on the phone to you!”

Harry chuckles softly throwing himself into the pillows still on the phone

“Ok..bye” he says hanging up before passing her phone back

“So, I have a confession”

He smiles that cheeky smile that made her weak, she looks up at him grabbing her panties and his shirt putting them on.

“I really like you, and I would love to take you out sometime if that’s something you would like?”

He looked so nervous it was so sweet, she sat next to him on the bed.

“I’d love that Harry” she giggles softly, he smiles widely pulling her in for a kiss

“Mmm” she mumbles on his lips before he slowly pulls away

“Was everything ok with Jeff?” He asks

“Oh yeah, he asked if we left and came back here together for a reason” Harry had this cheeky smirk plastered on his face

“He’s been trying to push us together for weeks” he admits

She couldn’t help but smile laughing a little

“What do you mean? He knew?”

Harry nods

“He knew from the first day I looked at you” he chuckles

He snuggled down into the bed pulling the covers up on the pair before pulling her close

“I’m glad we made it here eventually”

He was smiling like a school kid, it made her so happy to see him smiling

“I’m never letting you go” he says brushing some hair from her face

“Kiss?” He asks she giggles a little at how sweet he is and nods

“Of course” she smiles

…

[akookminsupporter]

Hello there, I wanted to ask about your opinion since I respect you a lot and I think your incredibly reasonable...

I’ve been felling sad and conflicted the past 24 hours cuz I haven’t felt safe in the fandom to voice my opinions. I’ve been seeing lots of people criticizing others for not liking ptd calling them fake fans and the reasons for their dislike unreasonable. I don’t think that’s right. I’ve had someone say to my face I’m a fake fan and surely a don’t love them enough just because I had negative thoughts on this one song. I think being a fan is not idolizing(the irony😂) your idols in a way that you praise and “love” everything they put out, that is not realistic at all. It’s hard because I’ve been feeling slightly guilty for not liking the song and having thoughts about it, god forbid I voice them on any way, shape or form cuz that’s “crushing the fun” and being hateful. So here is my truth (anonymously, it has been long 24 hours I’m coward sue me) : I didn’t like the song. For several reasons. Some of the factors that made me dislike it was : I didn’t like the production in this song at all, I didn’t like the fact that rapline sang(not because I didn’t want them to sing in a song, but because considering since dynamite, we’ve been having very vocal line heavy singles, I REALLY miss rap line), and I hated the heavy hand in voice distortion, it was too much for me. This doesn’t mean I don’t love them enough or want to “be negative”. Besides, why come talk down on people who disliked the song when you could be enjoying it with people that did, when I put my opinion in here is to express myself and be relatable and relate to people who feel the same in different aspects, not to devalue other people’s feelings and thoughts because they are different then mine. I would never judge anyone for liking the song and enjoying this comeback (which just because I didn’t like the song doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying the comeback, I’m namjoon biased, believe me I’m THRIVING) I’ve just been feeling like we can’t say anything anymore in this fandom without “destroying positivity”, “offending people” or being “hateful towards the boys”. By all means, there are terrible people that do this but shunning everybody for voicing their “negative” feelings is bs. No relationship is perfect(including between fan+artist) and tastes are different. Listen, I may have lost my way in the word vomit, but my question is: am I being unreasonable? Should I feel guilty for not loving the song that’s suppose to bring joy to dark times? Does me talking about this stop people from enjoying the song? Gosh I get so dramatic late at night... what are your thoughts on this ? Thanks for your time anyway, have a lovely comeback.

No.

No.

No.

Those are my answers to your questions at the end of your ask.

You're not being unreasonable, you're being human. Nobody has to like everything their favorite artist releases. You don't have to like PTD, if it doesn't fit your tastes or if you don't like it for the reasons you mentioned above that doesn't make you a bad fan, an anti or anything like that. It makes you a person who knows what you like and what you don't like, who has preferences and that's it.

Being a fan of an artist is not blindly believing in everything they do or say or release, it's not spending your money or time because it's an "obligation", that's not how it works.

The reasons why you don't like a song or a video are yours and as long as those reasons are respectable everyone should respect them.

I've been saying that all day. Not liking something is fine, constructive criticism is fine but what you should always be is RESPECTFUL. Tastes are subjective. You don't like it but someone else does, the artists did like it and that's why they released the song and that should be respected.

But what many of us have seen or read today is not that. There are people criticising the Korean identity of these seven men, accusing them of basically abandoning who they are as artists in order to get their songs play on the radio. Accusing them of I don't know what else about Kpop. That's what a lot of people and I disagree with. And what's even more annoying is that it's white people making those kinds of accusations. It's non-Korean people making those kinds of accusations. That's not right.

Don't feel guilty because you don't like the song anon, that doesn't mean you're not a good ARMY, it just means you're a human being.

[thedreadvampy]

Hey Ruth! I noticed you've talked in the past about asexuality in quite a negative manner. As an ace-person (who has received backlash for it) I was wondering: do you still uphold these opinions?

Hey! I have in the past said I don’t really...like people popping up in my ask box asking me My Opinion On Asexuality, but I do appreciate you asking me as someone I kinda know and with your face turned on, so I’m gonna aim to answer in the macro. Though I mean it depends on what the opinions...are? I have had a lot of opinions over the time I’ve had this blog and I don’t necessarily know what all of them were or which ones have concerned you. I can give you a top-level view of how I see my views, though (however, since I have been largely holding off on answering this kind of ask for Literally A Year Now this is less an answer to your specific question and more an answer to the last year of asks)

(also if I get dogpiled in my inbox for Having Bad Asexuality Opinions which I do every time I talk about asexuality regardless of what I actually say then. my phone is broken I won’t know about it :) so I feel untouchable)

I don’t think I hold a negative opinion of asexuality as an identity (I say I don’t think bc we all have blind spots)? I have a lot of very important people in my life who are asexual, aromantic or aroace and. I mean it feels pretty condescending to say ~uwu it’s valid~ bc like. ace and aro people don’t really need my input to validate their identity. but a) it seems like a pretty accurate way to describe their experience and b) I know a lot of them have had a really huge boost from finding a name and community to fit their experience and have found that really helpful, and I’ve seen that make a huge difference in people’s lives and I’m really happy to watch my friends come to understand themselves and feel comfortable and accepted in a part of themselves they had felt really alienated or stigmatised by. In a broader sense, I think there’s huge value in decentralising romance and sex in our assumptions of What Human Happiness Means and for some people that’s not the most important thing, and for some it’s just not interesting. 

So like. I find it difficult to really express these opinions in any meaningful way because my opinion on asexuals and aromantics is much like my opinion on trans people or idk like people of colour. like very obviously those people exist and very obviously those people don’t deserve to be marginalised or stigmatised but it would feel. weird and performative to just make a post saying like “Asexuality Is Good And Valid, I Am Pro It” bc again like. who needs my permission or cares about my opinion. it’s not a Good Thing To Do it’s just. a thing you are that shouldn’t be treated as a bad thing.

however. and I suspect that this is what you’re referring to. while I love and appreciate ace and aro people, I think building communities and active support for ace and aro people is valuable and needed and, as above, I think Asexuality Is Good And Valid I Am Pro It, I do take some issue with elements of how discussions around asexuality are framed online (pretty much only online, I really haven’t run into the kind of black-and-white thinking in in-person queer spaces) 

and I also. think there are some issues with people extrapolating their experience of their own sexuality onto the world in a way which. I’m just going to say a lot of the time when I talk about The Ace Discourse in a negative way it’s around people assuming that the world is split into a binary between ace and allo people, or assuming that only aspec people experience a nuanced or complex or fluid relationship to their sexuality while pigeonholing allosexuality into a pretty flat image of sex and romance focus. and I have always felt like this does a massive disservice not just to people who don’t identify with aspec labels, but also to the general hope that we could work against the expectation that there’s a Standard Amount To Value Sex/Romance - I think that the assumption that there are aspec people and then Everyone Else Has The Normal Type and Level of Attraction just. reinforces the idea that there’s a “Normal” type and level of attraction. which is ultimately pretty self-defeating and also just. observably untrue. 

and this division of the world into Aspec People and Allo People also has some other weird knockon effects - I don’t think there’s anything intrinsically wrong with identities like gray ace or demi or other aspec labels beyond asexual and aromantic, but I do think that the way those labels are used is often. unhelpful. and they’re defined in such personal, subjective ways that you get weirdnesses sometimes like people Diagnosing Each Other With Demisexual or people saying ‘you can’t talk about this experience you share because it’s an Aspec Experience’ and again. there isn’t a concrete material experience there because the whole experience of romantic and sexual attraction, what that feels like and how sharply divisible it is is very, very personal and subjective. and everyone has different experiences of those and will name those experiences differently.

there’s also. historically a minority of Big Ace Blogs that kind of sneer at allosexuality or who would hijack posts about other issues to derail them to asexuality. but I don’t think they were ever representative of the community as a whole and I certainly think that inasmuch as those blogs remain around they’re a legacy of the Long-Ago (and a lot of them are trolls imo)

but there is. an issue I take that does seem to be more currently live which is the question of allo privilege. I think personally that framing all allosexuals/alloromantics as privileged over all aspec people on the basis of feeling sexual/romantic attraction is provably untrue in a world where people, particularly queer people, are actively oppressed and marginalised for expressing non-normative sexuality. it isn’t that I don’t think asexuality and aromanticism isn’t marginalised and stigmatised, because it visibly is, but it seems pretty reductive to boil it down to a binary yes/no privilege when both sexualisation and desexualisation are so actively tied into other forms of marginalisation (this is what I was trying to express in the argument about Martin a while ago - sex and sexuality are so often disincentivised for fat, queer, disabled and neuroatypical people that it doesn’t...feel like a reclamation that those tend to be the characters that get fanonised as ace where slim, straight, able-bodied and neurotypical characters aren’t. like it’s more complex than a binary privilege equation; sex and romance are incentivised and stigmatised differently at the intersection of oppressions and. for example. in a world where gay conversion therapy and religious oppression of gay and SGA people is so often focused specifically on celibacy and on punishing the act of sexual attraction, I don’t think it’s a reasonable framing to say that a gay allosexual man has privilege over an aroace man on the basis of his attraction) 

so those are like. things I would consider myself to feel actively negative about in online discourse (and again. in online discourse. not in how I relate to asexuality or aromanticism or aspec identities in general but in the framing and approaches people take towards discussing it in a very specific bubble).

but also. um. the main criticism I have of the online discourse culture of asexuality is that there are things I don’t have experience of that I have mentioned, when asked, that I don’t personally understand the meaning of but I don’t need to understand them to appreciate that they’re useful/meaningful to others. things like 

the difference between QPRs, asexual romantic relationships and close friendships

how you know the difference between romantic attraction and friendship

the distinction between sexual attraction and a desire to have sex with someone for another reason

and I hope I’ve generally been clear that this is. honest lack of understanding and not condemnation. I personally have a very muddled sense of attraction and often have difficulty identifying the specifics of any of my own emotional needs so like. it’s a closed book for me at the moment, how you would identify the fine distinctions between types of want when I’m still at step 1: identify That You Want Something Of Some Sort, Eventually, Through Trial And Error. but I think I’ve always been explicit that this isn’t a value judgement it’s just a gap in my own knowledge and yet. every single time I’ve said anything other than enthusiastic “yes I understand this and I love it and it’s good and valid” (and again. I have not gone out of my way to talk about it I have mostly only mentioned it because people keep asking me to talk about it) I have got a massive rush of anger and accusations of aphobia and “just shut up if you don’t know what you’re talking about but also answer my 30 questions to prove you think Correct Things about asexuality” and. I understand that this comes from a place of really unpleasant and aggressive backlash towards the ace community so it’s a sensitivity with a lot of people but like. it doesn’t seem proportional.

also I feel like ever since I hit like 700 followers my Tumblr life has been a constant cycle of people asking me Are You An Ace Inclusionist Are You An Exclus Are You An Aphobe Justify Your Opinion On Asexuality which. eventually yeah I’ve got pretty snippy about the whole thing. but you know. fuck it I’m just gonna lay it out and if you or anyone else is uncomfortable following me based on those opinions then I’m sorry to hear that and I will be sad to see you not want to engage with me any more but I also think that’s absolutely your prerogative. however I will not be taking questions at this time (and not just bc my phone’s broken) - demands for an argument about this Are Going To Be Ignored so if you want to go then go.

so like the big question I reckon is Do You Think Asexuality Is Queer and

yes. no. maybe. I don’t understand the question what does it mean for an identity to be queer? 

there are spaces and conversations where any form of aromanticism or asexuality makes sense as a relevant identity. talking about hegemonic expectations of normative romance. building community. combatting the idea that heterosexual missionary married sex between a man and a woman is the only rewarding or valuable form of relationship or intimacy.

there are spaces where I think heterosexual aros/heteromantic cis aces don’t. have a more meaningful or direct experience of the issues than allo cishets. because while being aro or ace or aspec has a direct impact on those people on a personal and relational level, disclosure is largely a choice, and the world at large sees them as straight. they don’t have the lived experience of being visibly nonconforming that SGA people and aroace people do. they may still be queer but there’s a lot of conversations where they bring a lot of the baggage of being Straight People (because. even if you’re ace or aro you can still be straight in your romantic or sexual attraction and if your relationships are all outwardly straight then you don’t necessarily have an intimate personal understanding of being marginalised from mainstream society by dint of your sexuality). this doesn’t make you Not Queer in the same way that being a bi person who’s only ever been in m/f relationships is still queer, but in both cases a) you don’t magically have a personal experience of societal oppression through the transitive properties of Being Queer and b) it’s really obnoxious to talk as if you’re The Most Oppressed when other people are trying to have a conversation about their lived experience of societal oppression. and they’re within their rights to say ‘we’re talking about the experience of being marginalised for same gender/non-heterosexual attraction and you’re straight, could you butt out?’)

(I very much object to the assumption coming from a lot of exclus that “cishet ace” is a term that can reasonably be applied to non-orientated aroace people though. het is not a default it really extremely doesn’t make sense to treat people who feel no attraction as Straight By Default. when I were a lad I feel like we mostly understood “asexual” to mean that identity - non-orientated aroace - and while I think it’s obvious that a lot of people do find value in using a more split-model because. well. some people are both gay/straight/bi and aro/ace, and it’s good that language reflects that. but I do think it’s left a gap in the language to simply refer to non-attracted people. this isn’t a criticism of anything in particular - there’s a constant balancing act in language between specificity and adaptability and sometimes a gain for one is a loss for the other)

some queer conversations and spaces just. aren’t built with aces in mind. and that isn’t a flaw. some spaces aren’t built with men in mind, but that doesn’t mean men can’t be queer. some conversations are about Black experiences of queerness but that doesn’t mean non-Black people can’t be queer. not all queer spaces will focus on ace needs but that doesn’t mean asexuality isn’t queer, or that queerness is opposed to aceness - sex, sexuality, romance and dating are all really important things to a lot of queer people, especially those whose sexuality and romantic relationships are often stigmatised or violently suppressed in wider society. there should be gay bars, hookup apps, gay and trans friendly sex education, making out at Pride, leather parades and topless dyke marches and porn made by and for queer people, romantic representation in media of young and old gay, bi and trans couples kissing and snuggling and getting married and saying sloppy romantic things. and there should be non-sexual queer spaces, there should be discussions around queerness that don’t suppose that a monogamous romantic relationship is what everyone’s fighting for, sex ed should be ace inclusive, etc. 

I think the whole question of inclusionism vs exclusionism is based on a weird underlying assumption that If An Identity Is Queer All Queer Spaces Should Directly Cater To That. like. aspec identities can be queer and it can be totally reasonable for there to be queer spaces that revolve around being sexual and romantic and there can be conversations it’s not appropriate or productive to centre asexuality and aspec experiences in and we can recognise that not all queer people do prioritise or have any interest in sex or romance. in the same way that there’s value in centring binary trans experiences sometimes and nonbinary experiences at other times but both of those conversations should recognise that neither binary or nonbinary gender identity is a Universal Queer Experience.

anyway that one probably isn’t one of the opinions you were asking about but I have been wanting to find a way to express it for a while so you’re getting it: the Ruth Thedreadvampy Inclusionism Take.

uh. it’s 1:30 on a work night so I have been typing too long. if there was an opinion you were specifically thinking of that I haven’t mentioned, chuck me another ask specifically pointing to what you want me to clarify my thinking on. sometimes I gotta be honest I’ve just been kind of careless in my framing (thinking of the Martin Fucks debacle where I spent ages insisting I didn’t say Martin couldn’t be aroace then read back like two days later and realised that I had said “he’s not aroace” bc I had written the post at 2am without proofreading and had meant to say “unless you think he’s aroace”) so I May Well Not Stand By Some Posts or might Stand By Them With Clarification

[rainbowsky]

Ask Policy

In the interest of ensuring I can answer as many asks as possible without making too many people wait too long, I’ve decided to give some guidelines for submitting asks. Some of this is just me setting healthy boundaries because I find a lot of asks I get are outside of the scope of what I feel comfortable with, but some of it is just meant to help simplify things for those wanting to submit an ask.

I am always happy to get asks from people so don't let this policy hold you back from asking a question. It's meant as guidance to help people frame their questions to increase the likelihood they'll be answered - and as an explanation for why I don't always answer every ask. Please don't feel intimidated or deterred by the policy.

This policy is subject to change and updates so feel free to check back if there's anything you are unsure about.

I do not answer every ask

I want to start by making it clear that unlike some other bloggers, I do not answer every single ask I get. It would be impossible for me to do that. I don’t have the time or the spoons, and I get a large volume of asks daily. However, I read every single one of them and I do my best to take what I read into consideration when deciding on what to post about, etc. so even if I don’t get to your ask, it will be taken into consideration.

There are also some asks I just won’t answer, some topics I won’t discuss. I will try to outline the primary ones below, to make expectations clear.

Timing of answers

Also, I do not always answer asks in the order they are received. That would not be practical. Some asks require research and thought. Some inspire ideas that take longer for me to articulate than others. Some are time-sensitive. All of these impact the timing of a response.

Someone asking me, “What makes you believe BJYXSZD?” is going to take me a long time (months, apparently) while someone asking me, “What time is the XYZ livestream happening tonight?” takes only a moment to answer. Sometimes I get fixated on tangents about DD’s hair and fashion and will answer several asks in a row about it, even though there are older asks in the inbox.

All I can say is, I try to strike the right balance between giving people what they’re asking for while ensuring that I enjoy being on Tumblr and don’t end up feeling like it’s a job I’m not getting paid for. Sometimes I will set aside my needs for the needs of the readers, and other times I will set aside the needs of the readers for my own. This is the best way I’ve found to keep that balance right.

Guidelines for submitting an ask

Please check my index post before sending an ask. Many common questions will be answered in those posts.

Please try to keep the total word count under 300 words.

If you are asking a question, please make sure it's stated clearly.

If you want me to comment on something you saw online, please include a link so that I can see what you’re referring to.

If you have submitted the same question to multiple bloggers, please be open and honest about that.

If you aren’t anon and want me to respond privately please make that clear.

Things I'm unlikely to respond to

Hateful, harassing asks are deleted without hesitation.

Asks that go beyond the word count will likely not be answered. I have frequently gotten asks in the 600-1,200 word count range, and it’s just too much. If you have a lot to say, I recommend starting a blog of your own. Now, if you have that much to say to me and you don’t care about it being replied to then feel free to send it in, but please understand that I will likely not post your ask.

Asks that speak negatively of GG and/or DD, or that frame GG or DD as rivals or in opposition to each other, will be deleted. Such messages tend to be anti messages, and I won’t let my blog be a platform for that. If you have a good-faith question relating to that topic please be careful how you frame it, and understand I might not be willing to post a response.

Asks that are obviously copy pasted to multiple bloggers I will not answer unless there's a clear reason why they want multiple perspectives, and only if that has been stated openly in the ask. Spammed asks will be deleted.

Asks that just repeat or affirm what's already been said are less likely to be posted than ones that add something new to the conversation.

Complaints about what other people are doing online are generally referred to my post about fan wars. That’s not because I don’t care how you feel. I do, and I know how frustrating the fandom can be. I tend not to respond to those asks because I don’t want to fuel those thoughts and feelings in others, or to be a platform for spreading negativity and anger about others (and that includes solos). If you really want to talk about something relating to fan wars, try to find a way to frame it that won’t violate those principles.

While I am always happy to get fic recommendations, I have a policy of not posting fic recs to my blog. I cannot be a platform for promoting anything I haven’t yet read. I have gotten some recs that fall outside the type of fic I’m comfortable with. However, if I like the fic you recommend, it might end up on my rec list.

Asks regarding other ships, other fandoms or other artists besides GGDD are outside of my purview. My focus is on GGDD and things immediately relating to them.

Asks about time-sensitive things that have passed. For example, asks that people sent me about a live event as it was happening, which referenced things that would have made sense if read at the time but make no sense now or feel out of place after the fact, are unlikely to be responded to now.

Topics I am working on at the moment

Here’s a list of some of the ask-related posts I am currently working on, in case you are wondering whether to ask about a certain topic. If your ask hasn’t been answered you might want to check back here to see if it’s on the list.

What makes you believe BJYXSZD?

An update to my timeline post.

The BTS is fake/fan service.

Oversexualization of GGDD, especially on Twitter.

Why do solos dismiss GGDD’s relationship?

Will GG and DD ever come out?

If your ask hasn’t been answered

If your ask hasn’t been answered and

It’s been longer than a few weeks

It’s a topic I haven’t already covered (refer to my index post)

It isn’t on the list of topics I am currently working on (above)

It isn’t on the list of topics I won’t respond to (also above)

then there’s a chance it’s been lost or that I just haven’t had time. If it’s a question that really matters to you then feel free to resubmit as long as your ask meets all four of the criteria above.

If you do resubmit, consider rephrasing or reframing your ask to make it clearer and easier to answer.

I can’t guarantee I will get to it any sooner, but I will do my best.

If you don’t have time to answer all asks, why not close your inbox?

Some bloggers close their inbox when they are getting a volume of asks beyond what they have time to answer. I suspect they do that because it works for them and for how they go about things. That approach would not work for me or for how I like to engage with the fandom.

To me there is a huge value in being able to respond to asks about issues and events as they arise. It’s important to me to be able to discuss things that are currently happening, with input from readers as it is contributed. Closing my inbox would prevent that.

A lot of asks can be answered quickly. Yes, I could close my inbox and limit my answers to the longer, more time consuming asks that are lurking there. If I did so, I would ironically be answering significantly fewer asks than by leaving it open.

I also try to think about it from the ‘do unto others’ perspective, and in terms of what I expect from other bloggers when I submit an ask to them. I regularly submit asks to other blogs and when I do so, I never expect a response. I might hope for a response, of course, but I don’t expect it. I understand that people respond if/when they are able, and there might be countless reasons they wouldn’t get to my particular ask. I hope that readers can feel the same way when submitting an ask to me.

Can I message you privately?

Yes you can, but if you are messaging me to ask me a question or tell me something that might be of interest to other readers, please consider sending it as an ask so that it can be shared with everyone.

[nerdygaymormon]

Hi, I'm so sorry to bother you but I have an uncomfortable question and I'm a little scared to look up the answer online without getting a bunch of anti stuff. My friends are saying that Joseph Smith cheated on Emma and married a 14 year old and it wasn't just like getting sealed to her, that he actually had relations with her... is that true? I'm sorry I don't really know who else to ask.

When we think of polygamy, we usually think of Brigham Young, however it seems Joseph Smith is the person who introduced polygamy to the Church.

The Church has put an article about polygamy in Kirtland and Nauvoo, which is when Joseph was in charge. Polygamy was illegal and anyone admitting to participating in polygamy could be arrested.

If any polygamous activity was occurring, Joseph lied about it to avoid legal trouble. One way it seems he tried to get around answering questions about polygamy without lying was to call it plural marriage. He swore he wasn't practicing polygamy...because he is involved in plural marriage, not polygamy. It's a linguistic sleight-of-hand meant to deceive people.

Joseph kept most of the church in the dark about plural marriage and those involved were careful about what they wrote, so piecing together an accurate picture is sometimes difficult.

For example, for her entire life, Emma Smith publicly denied that Joseph married any other women or even taught about the subject, while other people write about private exchanges when Emma was accepting of plural marriage and times where she wasn't accepting.

Here's what most scholars will agree on:

Joseph had a lot of wives, upwards of 40.

Most of the women were between the ages of 20 and 40 when Smith married them, but Helen Kimball was 14 years old and Fanny Alger was 16.

Some wives Joseph was sealed to for eternity, meaning after death. Other wives were for time and eternity, meaning this life and after death. Some women were single, some women were married to other men. There doesn't seem to be any restrictions or rules about sealings, it was a new concept and anything seems to have gone.

(btw, around 1990 the took all these women who were sealed to Joseph and sealed them to their husbands)

Joseph likely didn't have sex with the wives he was sealed to only “for eternity.” Did he have sex with the wives he was sealed to for "time and eternity"? Possibly, but it's difficult to say as that sort of detail was generally not written about by people back then.

A geneticist has done DNA testing of descendants of the plural wives to determine if they could also be descended from Joseph. All the results are negative. No surviving descendants of the plural wives is biologically related to Joseph Smith.