#I was told to ‘limit’ screen time I’m LIMITING

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

I took a nap and made soup so I am going to get a good grade in concussion which is both normal to want and possible to achieve

[maybeicanbesaved]

just had to yell at two kids because they had the audacity to come dump the water i’ve been keeping out for the stray cats (which i go to great lengths to keep cold/cool throughout the day bc of the severe heat) & then proceed to try and throw the container up onto the roof over our door,, they didn’t know i was looking out the peephole as soon as i heard kids outside the door, because i happened to be in the kitchen at the time. yeah i don’t fucking think so. little shits. didn’t even apologize or anything, just went from brief shock to running off, probably to cry to their parent about the mean lady wahh. yeah good i wish their parent or whomeever would come knocking on my door to ‘confront’ me, because i sure as fuck have a lot to say to them

[webslingingslasher]

Unknown Sender

happy valentine's day!

MONDAY: 13:52 

‘hi.’ Peter squints at the message, then the unsaved number. He's not sure how, but it’s a scam. 

‘i’d like to have your attention, please.’ Peter rolls his eyes, swiping left to not only delete but report the number as junk. No doubt it was a bot or someone with a flair for sextortion. 

A new number. ‘that was actually so rude of you, parker.’ 

‘unblock me right now.’ 

Peter shifts in his seat, he does a slow look around the room and finds nothing off putting or alarming. 

‘Who is this?’ 

Green bubbles pop up. ‘unblock me and i’ll tell you.’ Peter was right to guess about extortion. Another swipe, blocked and reported. Peter wasn’t participating in any games. 

A new number. ‘oh, now you’re just being cute.’ 

Peter feels his heart pick up a bit, it’s a tad threatening and now he’s overthinking it a little. What if someone has it out for him? Is there a mark on his back? ‘Please leave me alone.’ 

‘no.’ 

‘can we play 21 questions?’ 

Peter’s face scrunches up, he spins his head around one more time, someone is fucking with him. He has no clue who has time for something like that in university, but he’s not a willing participant anymore, not since high school. 

‘Leave me alone. Go torment a freshman.’ 

‘i don’t like freshmen. i like you.’ Peter chews at his bottom lip, there was a second of hesitancy but he knows the truth deep down. ‘I’m blocking you.’ 

‘sure. i’ll keep texting you, too.’ 

‘I’ll change my number.’ 

‘noooo please don’t do that. i had to work hard enough to get it the first time.’ Peter doesn’t respond. He blocks the number and moves on, and they don’t try to text him again.

Until the next day and Peter knows two things for certain. There is a note in his backpack, and it wasn’t there before his econ lecture. He remembers pulling that pocket open before he started notes, then when he went to zip it up, a note. 

This upsets him. What good was any sense when someone could get that unnoticeably close to him without him knowing? Second, it’s a little frustrating not to know who this person is and how it most likely is connected to the texts he had a few days ago, and that it’s an extremely long played joke that’s mostly boring. 

‘Peter Parker- 

You’ve been secretly admired. It might not be very secret, because I think you’ve caught me staring at you a thousand times. I like you a lot. 

Hopefully liked back, 

-X’ 

But a part of him believes it’s true. He’s trying to think of who’s in his lecture, if he’s caught them staring then they’re either to the side or behind him. There are too many faces, too many times he’s been looked at, he’s almost centered, it’s his fault for choosing a focal point. 

Instead of throwing it away, he refolds the pink handwriting and puts it back into place before hitching a strap over his shoulder and sliding behind chairs. One, two steps up he glances at your face, you have a weak smile, he returns the same kind, it’s more like a polite nod. Peter’s always thought you were pretty and he thinks you're nice. 

But really, he’s wondering who left the note. 

10:30

‘did you get my note?’ Peter does his normal scan across campus, again, his fault for being out in the open. This person could be anywhere, he’s on a picnic bench with a group of friends. If he’s smart, he’d start limiting himself to contained spaces and make you show yourself. 

‘Yeah. Who is this?’ Peter’s thumbs dance around the screen waiting for a reply, it comes quick. ‘i told you. x.’ He stops himself from rolling his eyes, he doesn’t know anyone with an ‘X’ anywhere in their name. 

‘Is that an initial?’ 

‘actually, i’m pretty sure it’s british for kiss.’ 

‘That’s a wild take. Are you saying the UK is responsible for XOXO’s?’ 

‘i’d like to make you responsible for my xoxo’s.’ Peter chews his bottom lip, he won’t play into anything in writing. He doesn’t believe this for a second, everything about this feels off. Someone’s fucking with him and they’re also in his class, or they have someone in on it in his class. 

But this is too advanced.

‘sorry. i don’t mean to like harass you or anything. you’re really hot but you scare me, i don’t think you would like me so idk, maybe if you talk to me you’d like me for me or something.’ 

‘i just think i’m punching wayyyy above my weight class here and i may be making this worse because there is no doubt you think im weird.’ 

‘i am weird. i should leave you alone now. i’m sorry.’ 

Peter reads his screen four times, it’s still not clicking. He’s nothing special and he doesn’t mean that in a way to dog on himself, he’s just nerdy and quiet. It seems a little too authentic to be fake, but he’s got to make sure. 

‘How’d you get my number?’ 

‘your friend. they have been sworn to secrecy but they know what i’m doing and they are in full support. take that as you will.’ 

‘Depends on the friend.’ 

‘i’ll tell you when you find out who i am.’ 

‘I’m going to find out? You’re not going to tell me?’ 

‘i don’t think i’ve been hiding it. you just haven’t been paying attention and now i want you to.’ 

‘Oh, but you’re shy?’ 

‘i’m about to pass out on the lawn behind this fucking screen, don’t play with me parker.’ A slip, you’re around him and you just admitted it. ‘Tell me, admirer, what are you wearing?’ The more detail the better, but he could work off of just a color. 

‘nice try. but you’re looking mighty handsome in the blue.’ A glance down, he suddenly feels watched. ‘Are you stalking me?’ 

‘oh no! no no no. i PROMISE you i’m not that fucking psychotic.’

‘i’m just a “sneak a note into your backpack” level of crazy. i’m here with my roommate and her boyfriend. i saw you and just wanted to know if you got it, i promise.’ 

‘You do understand that this situation makes you seem psychotic, right?’ 

‘yes. but i am not.’ 

‘That sounds like something a crazy person who got my number from a third party would say. Especially after I blocked you six times.’ 

‘it was three and you didn’t understand my intentions but okay. you have a fair point and i extend the olive branch of brett. he gave me your number and he knows me pretty well.’ 

Brett? Easy enough, he nods his head towards him and slides his phone across the table. “Explain.” His friend scrolls through the thread, a trustworthy smile spreads. “Yeah, I gave her your number.” Her. Okay, it’s something. “Who is she?” Brett shrugs, “you know her. She’s kind of a firecracker, you just make her nervous.” 

“That gives me nothing, Brett.” His friend blinks, “she’s not crazy. She likes you a lot for whatever fucking reason and has no idea how to approach you.” Peter’s letting his words soak in, “don’t believe me? Ask her about the grilled cheese, and make sure you tell her that I told you about how she went on for five fucking minutes about the grilled cheese.” 

“What grilled cheese?” Brett slides Peter’s phone back, he’s telling him to ask you. Something tells Peter it’s enough to embarrass, or it might be Brett being the ultimate wingman.

‘I’ve been told to ask you about the grilled cheese.’ 

‘oh god. there is no need to ask about the grilled cheese, did brett tell you about the grilled cheese?’ 

‘He told me to ask you. And to specify that you went on for five minutes about it.’ 

‘five is excessive, it was more like three. second, there is nothing to speak about.’ 

‘I would like to hear about it.’ 

‘i’d prefer if you didn’t.’ 

‘But you’ll do it for me?’ 

‘i’m weak for you and you know it. it’s sicking, parker.’ 

‘i heard you talking about making one in class and you said something about the crust and i really fucking love grilled cheese’s so i had a trip to fantasy land where you made me one and how it’s probably the best thing i’ll never get to taste.’ 

‘Wow. Five whole minutes on that?’ Peter won’t admit it made him feel a little warm on the inside, the most mundane of things to have someone so squirrely makes him feel unworthy. 

‘three.’ 

‘Tell me who you are and I’ll make you a grilled cheese.’ 

‘you have no idea how much that almost worked.’ 

‘What’s the plan then, master manipulator?’ 

‘i don’t know yet. i’m hoping you show me how smart you are and figure me out, then you can do all the hard questions.’ 

‘Hard questions?’ 

‘you know, do you wanna go on a date, do you wanna be my girlfriend, do you want to take my hand in marriage and have a summer home in the french alps? that kind of stuff.’ 

‘Totally not psychotic.’ Peter tucks his bottom lip between his teeth to hide the smile that wants to spread. 

‘mostly not.’ 

WEDNESDAY: 13:57

Peter doesn’t know who X is, but they’re clever and have zero effect on his sixth sense. He doesn’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. Either way, he’s reading a note scribbled in blue pen and as he studies the words he knows it was rushed. It’s proof that he wasn’t being followed everywhere, instead you saw an empty table and an opportunity. 

‘Peter- 

You use mostly gender neutral pronouns. I think that’s very cool. Is it weird that I notice those things about you? Also- what is it that you’re always drinking from Nuthouse? Asking for a friend… 

Have a good day! 

-Your not so secret admirer, X. 

‘Not so secret,’ Peter isn’t sure about that. You’ve done a good enough job at not trying to be obviously known, he might have looked up your number last night to find dust. One was from an app, but the one you’ve been using is a burner phone. 

What he’s really not understanding is how you’re able to get so close to him without him noticing. You had to have been millimeters away when you rested the letter on his backpack, he was gone for less than two minutes and he had zero awareness. 

Peter folds up the note and sticks it in the same pocket as the other one, his back slung around one shoulder as he moves up the stairs for the library. At the same time, you come down the opposite side, Peter gives a friendly acknowledgement. 

You choke down the lump in your throat. “Hi, Peter.” He’s already past you, it’s echoed behind his shoulder. “Hey.” It’s something. You’re trying, you’re trying to be bold for him. But he’s not going to notice, he’s never going to notice you and if you tell him who you are you’ll never live past his disappointment. 

Your phone vibrates, the other phone. Your heart picks up, Peter texted first. 

 14:02 

‘Dirty chai.’ 

‘best of both worlds. how fitting. you’re such a nonconforming king.’ 

‘I don’t even know what that means.’ 

‘But thank you?’ 

‘you’re welcome!’ 

‘anything fun on the roster today?’ 

‘Roster? Who are you?’ 

‘idk you make me nervous. blame yourself.’ 

‘Well, coach. Nothing fun on the roster, just some math. Wanna swap places with me?’ 

‘gross. i hate math so if you like it that’s good with me. one of us has to be smart and it’s not me.’

‘Smart enough to use a burner phone.’ 

‘oooooh, someone tried to find meeee.’ 

‘Can’t blame a guy for being curious, can you?’ 

‘were you disappointed when you found nothing?’ 

‘A little bit. But, you know, it keeps the imagination alive. A little unfair advantage on your side though, you already know what I look like.’ 

‘if it helps, you already know what i look like too.’ 

‘I do?’ 

‘yeah. we’ve talked before.’ 

‘Wait, so I know who you are?’ Brett said he did but Peter thought he meant you’d be familiar, not that he actually knew you. This just opened the floodgates to a million more possibilities. 

‘not really but yeah i guess. you know i exist but we’re not friends or anything.’ 

‘I’d like to think we’re friends, but okay.’ 

‘not outside the texting.’ 

‘That’s your decision.’ 

‘HATER.’ 

‘Anymore hints?’ 

‘.... no.’ 

‘HATER.’ 

FRIDAY: 12:15

You’re about to spill hot tea everywhere but it’ll be worth it to see his face. You ignore your pounding heart and stand in front of him. He’s got no clue you showed up, zoned out looking at the clock on the wall across from him. 

“Hi, Peter.” 

Full frontal attention, he’s looking at you. He’s perceiving you, he’s smiling at you. “Hi,” your eyes expand, he knows your name and it sounds so nice coming from his mouth. Sure, you’ve chatted with each other- even shared a few highlighters, but nothing serious. You’ve always been too scared to try anything else but maybe your fear has been mistaken for indifference. 

“I um, I lucked out today at Nuthouse so if you like dirty chai’s I got an extra one.” Your knees feel weak at his bright eyes, “my favorite. I’d love one, thank you.” You pass over the paper cup, your fingers brush and you think you’re about to collapse. 

“Yeah,” a weak laugh. “I had a feeling.” Peter tilts his head at you funny, you wonder if you pushed a little too far. “Okay, um, I’m gonna… have a good… lecture.” Peter nods and watches you go two rows up, he’s finally got a gut feeling. And it tells him to keep an eye out for you. 

TUESDAY: 12:10

Not that Peter was reliant on your attention, he was used to it. So when the texts stopped for three days and he was unable to find any letters he assumed you had lost interest and moved on. That felt fair to him, no harm no foul, at least he never really got to know you. 

Nevermind, there’s a folded notebook page on his miniature desk and his heart speeds up. His next task, put eyes on you. Bottom level, book and pencil in hand. He makes sure to note it’s a pencil and not the green ink that’s spread across the page. 

Peter thinks it’s a mind game, you were smart enough to know he’d look. Unless he was totally wrong on his guess. 

‘Peter- 

I ran out of minutes on my phone and I’m having a broke college kid moment. However, a friend took pity and donated a twenty to the campaign. I hope you’ve been good- I’ve missed talking to you. 

- Your not so secret admirer, X’ 

ps. stop keeping your backpack so close to you.’

It wasn’t anything personal, you just ran out of minutes. Peter smiles so wide he has to drop it, he almost clutches the paper to his chest in a thank you. Eyeing his backpack, he nudges it a little further behind him, following instruction. He’s kept it close in hopes to catch you, but instead he’s pushing you away. 

Peter’s committing the writing to memory as if he’s going to find you by the handwriting alone. A quick glance at footsteps, you’re three steps away when you smile. “Hi, Peter.” He nods, “hey.” You pause for a moment, mind racing for words. 

“Did you, um- did you do anything fun this weekend?” You’re about to crawl into a hole and die, it takes a moment to click that you were speaking to him. He went as far to look behind himself, then he spewed the answer to try and make up for the lost time. 

“Oh, uh not really. My aunt got a new bed so I had to lug the old one down seven flights of stairs.” Your eyes widen, you feel your mouth go dry and your tongue go thick. “By yourself?” Peter crosses his arms over his chest, a boyish grin swept over and you feel heart eyes form. 

“I’m a good nephew.” You want to pat his head and tell him you’re sure he is, then maybe hold him at gunpoint and tell you more stories about how he’s a perfect humanitarian. But you act like a normal human and smile back, “you sound like it.” 

Peter thanks you and you return to your seat with wobbly knees and a weak stomach, it’s silent torture to tease yourself like this with him. But you can’t help it and it’s only in effort to go after what you want. Even if it blows up when he figures out who you are. 

12:13

‘you’re looking mighty handsome today, mr. parker.’ 

‘I’m wearing a hoodie, but thank you.’ 

‘i said what i said.’ 

Boldly, ‘i see someone had another dirty chai. can’t stay away from them, can you?’ 

Another tick in Peter's stomach, he almost looks behind his shoulder at you, but he doesn’t. ‘It was a generous donation from a classmate.’ 

‘oh? pray tell, peter. pray tell.’ 

‘What? You don’t have a clue about who gave it to me?’ 

You swallow thickly, before you could get something out he sent another message. ‘No chance you didn’t see it go down?’ 

‘how could i? I was still on my way.’ 

‘... or was i?’ 

‘Tell you what, X. It one of the best teas I’ve had in a while.’ 

And you’d be damned if that didn’t make your entire chest flutter. 

FRIDAY: 15:29

“Here,” Peter’s hand clasped over the paper slapped into his chest. A hint of a syllable, Brett cuts himself off. “She asked me to give this to you.” Peter quickly read it and stared down before confiding in his friend for a second. 

‘Peter- 

Roses are red, violets are blue, all that I think about is you. 

It’s sweet in a cringy way, right? Boo on you for skipping class today, if you want, I could get you some notes. 

I hope I’ll see you Tuesday. 

-Your (really) not so secret admirer, X

ps. A pen exploded in my pocket. 10/10 chance my thigh will be stained.’

“I think I might know who it is.” 

“Uh, huh.” 

“But, she’s way out of my league.” 

“Correct.” 

Peter raised his eyebrows, “so it’s her?” He clarified with your name, Brett shrugged back. 

“I won’t be confirming or denying.” Peter knows what that means, “the lack of a no usually means yes.” 

“Bro,” Peter starts sputtering, “oh, c’mon! You know what I meant, I just meant that, I just- c’mon, Brett. Is it her?” 

“I have no idea who that is.” Peter wants to call bullshit, he has a gut feeling and he swears it’s you. You’re right, it’s not so secret. In fact, you’re painfully obvious. 

FRIDAY: 23:14 

‘you are soooooooo cute’ 

‘like your hair is so cute’ 

‘i looooove curly hair on guys and you have that!!!!!!!!!’ 

‘and you’re really funny cause like it’s so quick and witty like you have such good one liners’ 

‘also you’re really fucking hot and i KNOW you’re hiding something under those fucking sweaters and the second i see skin i WILL go feral.’ 

‘Something tells me you’re at the Kappa party.’ Peter’s pretending he doesn’t have a searing blush. If he’s got an inkling this could be you… then he might have proof for the non-believers that god exists. 

‘yes!!! are you here?? i should come see you.’ 

‘I hate to disappoint you, but I’m currently at a friend's house playing a Mario Kart drinking game.’ 

“But it’s nice to know that you’d give me your identity that quick.’ 

‘oh i can tell you who i am.’ Peter frowns at the text, he’s been doing nothing but crave the answer to who’s behind the love letters but it feels wrong. It’s not satisfactory enough for him, it’s also not what you want, you’re just drunk- and Peter’s going out on a limb here- horny. 

‘Save it for later.’ 

‘And maybe drink some water.’ 

‘i’d do anything for you cause you have the world's prettiest brown eyes’

‘Thank you for the compliments.’ 

‘you’re super welcome i try to hold them back because i’m a good girl but you’re just so cute i had to let you know’ 

‘I think you’re going to super regret this in the morning.’ 

‘false. maybe fact idk’

‘i should trust you tho because you’re super smart and you’re a nerd.’ 

‘I fear this is taking a turn for the worse.’ 

‘and that is so fucking HOT’

‘Oh. Back to compliments. Thank you.’ 

‘if you were here i’d give you a kiss’

‘IGNORE THAT!!!!’

‘I DIDN’T MEAN TO SEND THAT!!!! IGNORE IT’ 

‘Not ignored. How cute.’ 

‘screaming crying throwing up’ 

‘i really didn’t mean to send that it was a joke ha ha funny.’ 

‘Idk, sounded authentic to me.’ 

‘peter?’ 

‘Yeah?’ 

‘i’m a little drunk rn. and you should know how cute you are.’ 

‘Oh, I’m talking about record breaking levels of regret. This is amazing.’ 

‘i have to pee but i do not reget this!!!!!!’ 

SATURDAY: 09:54

‘i stand by my claim and do not regret a thing.’ 

‘correction. i regret this hangover and the way my previous texts are not very cool girl of me.’ 

‘but i would like to know if you won mario last night.’

‘also, who’s ur fav character?’ 

11:12

1. Proud of you for owning it, that’s very cool girl of you. 

2. I did not win. 

3. Petey Piranha. 

‘who tf is petey piranha.’

‘Mario Kart Sunshine. Came out in 2002. (Originally on GameCube but recently released on switch.) (Hell yeah.)’ 

Your heart thumps, he’s such a nerd and you wanna kiss the air out of his lungs. ‘out of all the characters and u choose him. why petey piranha’ 

‘One guess.’ 

‘PETEY PIRANHA.’ 

‘OH MY GOD.’ 

‘you’re petey piranha <333’ 

Peter fights a grin, ‘I am.’ 

‘you’re so cute. i love that.’ 

‘Personally, in the past 24 hours I don’t think I’ve heard enough about how cute I am.’

‘you’re insufferable and it’s sexy.’ 

‘Oo, new one to the mix. You’re making me blush.’ You really are. He’s never been considered sexy before and it feels really nice. 

‘and i bet you look super cute.’ 

‘Super true.’ 

TUESDAY: 12:34

‘white t shirt white t shirt white t shirt WHITE T SHIRT.’ 

‘You like?’ 

‘i’m about to cry i’m biting my fist so fucking hard.’ 

‘:)’ 

‘you’re so ubuibabeyia.’ 

‘Bless you.’ 

‘?’ 

‘Sorry, I assumed you sneezed.’ Peter never whipped his head around so fast at an audible laugh behind him. It was short, it had escaped without being thought about. He’s looking for you, but it doesn’t seem like it was you who laughed. You’re engrossed in chatting to your neighbor. 

On the other hand, you almost blew it by clasping your hands over your mouth. Instead you looked next to you and said, directly and with a burning gaze, “I need you to pretend we’ve been talking this whole time.” 

‘Someone’s losing their edge, you’re just begging to be caught.’ 

‘oh, i’m begging all right.’ 

‘can you hear me whimpering too?’ 

‘Easy, killer. Let’s not start sexting at noon on a Tuesday.’ 

‘are you saying there is a time for it?’ 

‘Give me a little wave and we’ll see.’ 

‘too late, i’m passed out on the floor. the only thing that can resuscitate me are those thick arms wrapped around me.’ 

‘Let these strong arms sweep you off your feet, all you gotta do is come talk to me after lecture…’ 

Peter says that, but he doesn’t mean it. He’ll definitely eat his words when he sees it’s you, then he’d be coming up with a thousand ways to back out of it. He’s so much more than you deserve, you feel so safe behind a keyboard but in person you can barely say a sentence. 

It’s stupid and a little humbling because you’ve never felt this way about a guy before. 

‘trust me, i’m better in your imagination.’ 

WEDNESDAY: 14:22

‘Peter- 

You know a little about a lot and I think that is one of my favorite things about you. Or maybe it’s your voice. I could listen to you talk forever. 

-Your not so secret admirer, X’ 

A note under his textbook, if he follows his hunch then he’d be looking for… you. Conveniently three tables away and to the right of his own, you’re not looking for his reaction, you’ve got your focus on your own textbook but he swears you’re retaining none of it. It’s a distraction, or maybe it’s a diversion. 

Peter doesn’t mind. He’s going to wait. He has all the time in the world today and he’s going to sit here with his eyes on you until you look up at him because he knows you’re going to and once you do, he’s going to have his answer. 

If he’s right, and he swears he is, he’s going to absolutely lose is shit because what do you mean you like him and are intimidated? You boldly lied when you said you were punching above your weight class. Does it make him a jerk to say he wasn’t even thinking of you as a suitor and maybe a girl with a much more average look?

 Peter counted to sixty twice, you glance up, eyes shooting to the note you left on the table. The next stop, Peter’s face. And oh, you were not prepared to have him looking right back. Panic, you shoot a wave, a desperate attempt to pretend you’re seeing a familiar face. 

Peter waves back but he looks much more satisfied than you did, you wonder if the jig is up. Did he crack the code? Was he just trying to find a friendly way to let you down? Deny til death, he has no proof it’s you. You pack your things up, a hurried scramble before you could lose your cool. 

On the way out you almost stop breathing, your forearm caught in Peter’s hand. You’re staring down at it, he’s not removing it. It burns in the best way. “Hey,” you wait, you can’t stop looking at his hand, the muscle, the subtle flex, his fingertips paler to show his grip. “Hi, Peter.” 

It’s breathless, you think you’re about to die. If he asks, you don’t know how you’ll lie your way out. 

Guess who’s got a stained pocket? The corner edge darkened with black ink that would never be washed out. Peter has his answer. You’re her. You’re X. “Thanks again for the tea.” 

 Maybe you wanted more, you feel a bit deflated when it’s all you receive.

“You’re welcome.” Your arm feels cold when he drops his touch, you linger for a second too long, you’re not sure when you’ll be this brave again. It was too much of a close call. “I hope the rest of your day is good.” 

Peter’s got a charismatic grin, he feels settled now that he knows you’re the anonymous lover in his life. Even more so when you find yourself shy and reserved in person, it almost makes him giggle to think of the stark changes in confidence.

“You too.” Your body engulfs into flames when your arm is caught again, you’re struggling to keep calm at his boyish smile. “Quick question,” you nod slightly, trying to show zero paranoia for the following words. 

“Do you have a boyfriend?” 

Short circuiting. You see black spots, you think you’re about to pass out. There is only one thing that means, no guy asks that if they weren’t interested in changing that, right? 

“No.” It’s anything but graceful. It sounds like you’ve never had a boyfriend before. It makes you sound like you’re scared he asked it. 

But, Peter doesn’t take it like that. He smiles wider, like he already knew the answer before he asked it.

THURSDAY: 16:37

A new letter, stuffed under the top handle of his backpack. Peter listened and stopped setting it next to him, in return he was rewarded. He can’t stop the small smile, you make it involuntary at this point. Peter’s never felt so special in his life, a little part of him wants this to never end. But he’d much rather look you in the eyes. 

‘Peter- 

I had a dream with you in it last night. Don’t worry, you had your clothes on. I’m not sure what we were doing but you were across from me at a diner and we were sitting in those super thick booths and our friends were there. 

I don’t know who these friends were, and I don’t think you do either. But I knew them as our friends. 

It felt really nice. I’m happy to know you, even if I just get this little piece. 

-Your not so secret admirer, X’

Peter’s been wrong a lot in his life but this time he really thinks he has it figured out. He’s much more bold now, this letter tells him it’s not infatuation, it’s love. 

You love him and he thinks he could love you too. 

FRIDAY: 20:08

‘Hey.’ Peter could be making the worst decision of his life here, he could be reading everything wrong and ruining this for himself. 

‘hi peter!’ But he really thinks he’s got it right.  

‘I really, really liked talking to you for the past few weeks but I think I should tell you that I like someone else.’ 

Gut wrenching despair. You knew it was too good to last, you knew he’d find someone more in his league. Someone who’d be willing to show him their face. There was no reason to respond because what would you say to that? 

‘thank you for letting me know that opening up to you was all for nothing!’ 

‘thanks for making me doubt love!’ 

‘hope you and her are so fucking happy together!!!!!’ 

Fuck it all and fuck Peter. He just liked the attention until it came from somewhere else. You don’t think you like him all that much anymore. You think you’re lying, too. Before you can give into the desire of hurting him just as bad, you calmly turn the phone off and stuff it in the back of a desk drawer to never be uncovered again. 

You slowly sit in bed and tug the blankets over your head. And only then, do you allow yourself to sob. 

Peter chewed on his bottom lip and waited an hour with constant phone checks before he realized a response was never coming. It really set in during the weekend but even further when he got no note or letter on monday. Not even when he left his backpack unattended for five minutes. 

TUESDAY -he was able to see you and how you avoided his eyes. How you pretended you didn’t see him send a small wave. How you had pulled back from him. 

And if he hadn’t hurt your feelings, or X’s feelings, why would you do that? 

You look up at a two fingered knock at the corner of your desk. “Hi.” You blink and ignore the white noise buzzing in your ears at the sight of Peter standing in front of you. “Hi, Peter.” 

“How was your weekend?” Bitter. Terrible. Lonely.

“Fine. Nothing exciting.” Besides you breaking my heart. 

Watching his fingertips dance on the edge of the plastic, you feel everything in you brighten. “You look sad.” There’s a burn in your stomach, he’s the reason for both the sting and the sadness. 

“Do you need something? Or are you just doing a friendly check in?” Peter bites back the grin when you snap at him, he’s so, so, so right and it feels so, so, so good. “Neither. I’m just confirming my suspicions.” 

“Suspicions?” 

“Yeah. You passed.” Your eyebrows furrow, before you could try to question further Peter was giving half a wave, saying bye, and skipping a step to his aisle. 

FRIDAY: 12:08

You stop breathing for a solid second before feeling your brain spark back to life. It could be anything, it could be from anyone, but you know there’s only one person who would’ve left a note on your desk. 

Your fingers slightly shake when you unfold the graph paper, little squares bled through with black sharpie. 

‘X-

Am I right?

Hopefully, 

-  Peter’ 

You can’t breathe, you can’t talk, you can’t move and you definitely can fucking not look at him. No, no, no. You can feel his eyes on you, you know he’s watching for your reaction. Peter figured you out and had his own fun along the way. 

You were the girl he liked. Oh, wow. Is this how special you’ve made him feel? Something just for your eyes, from him. A secret you both shared between lines. 

You spin and swear you can feel his gaze running over your back, he’s aching for the answer. You almost scream at a tap on your shoulder, a peek lets you know it’s the person you’re hiding from. 

Another note, folded up just like the other one. It’s pushed into your hand, Peter doesn’t say a word, he just offers and leaves. He’s not watching this time, he’s sitting and focused on the front, you feel air leak back into your lungs. 

Full on panic shaking, you’re so happy he’s not watching. 

Your name is addressed on the front, just like you do for him. 

‘I like you. 

I think you not so secretly like me too. 

We could talk more about it at dinner tonight. Will you let me take you out?

Circle yes or no. 

- Peter.

PS. XOXOXO now you’re responsible for mine, too.’ 

[yandere-daydreams]

Screening: Rosemary's Baby (1968)

Pairing: Yandere!Ieiri Shoko x Reader (JJK).

Runtime: 3.2k.

TW: Fem!Reader, Non/Con (False Pretenses), Mentions of Pregnancy, Cheating (Reader is in an Established Relationship With Gojo), Fingering, Medical Malpractice, Manipulation, and Overstimulation. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.

The examination table was cold as ice against your back.

She’d been nice enough to put down a sheet of sterilizing parchment, but not much more. You fidgeted with the hem of your skirt as you waited, too nervous to check your phone and risk seeing the newest addition to Satoru’s never-ending barrage of texts, too obedient to do anything other than stay where you were and stare blankly at the chipped, white tiles of her ceiling. That was what she told you to do – or, at least, what you thought she’d told you to do. It’d been difficult to understand her through her surgical mask, only pulled down slightly to accommodate the cigarette she was holding up to her lips, and come to think if it, she might’ve just meant to wait near the table, not strictly on—

The door opened, creating a break in the silence just long enough for you to pull yourself back together, and you bolted upright before your thoughts could start to slip, again – the stiff parchment crackling in protest underneath you. Your eyes found Shoko just as she slipped inside, letting the door fall shut on its own behind her.

Out of all of Satoru’s friends, Shoko had always been your favorite. There was obviously the gender bias (you’d be lying if you said you wouldn’t have gravitated towards any woman in Satoru’s overall civil, but absolutely male-dominated social sphere), but even if that hadn’t been the case, you liked to think that you would’ve gotten along with Shoko, regardless. She was always so calm, always so level-headed, rarely smiling but slow to lose her temper, too. Being around her made you feel a little less like the awkward, oblivious non-sorcerer who’d stumbled into a world you still didn’t completely understand and a little more like someone who knew what they’d gotten into and who to rely on, when your own limited abilities fell short. You trusted Shoko, even if you’d only talked to her alone a handful of times. If you didn’t, you never would’ve come to her for something like this.

She stopped at the nearest counter, retrieving a pair of latex gloves from a nearly empty container, before coming to stand next to your table. You knew she’d been smoking, but the heavy scent of disinfect and rubbing alcohol smothered any traces of lingering smoke there might’ve been. You were thankful. You’d been sick with nerves for the better part of the past week, and you didn’t need another reason to feel like you were on the verge of throwing up.

(In the back of your skull, something cruel and vile whispered that there might be another explanation for your sudden bouts of nausea – something less ignorable than pure, ungrounded anxiety. You drowned it out before it could reach your conscious mind.)

Shoko broke the silence without prompting. You were grateful for that, too – you really didn’t have the courage to speak up first. “So,” she started, leaning on the edge of your metal slab. “You wanted to see me because of a… late period?”

Her mask hid most her expression, but you could make out the faint hint of a chuckle underneath her bedside manner. Your eyes fell into your lap. “A missed period,” you corrected. “I haven’t gotten it this month, either.”

She hummed, but didn’t respond. You sighed. Shoko was grounded, but she wasn’t kind. You should’ve known she wouldn’t make this easy for you.

“I’m worried I might be pregnant.”

To her credit, if she was surprised, it was impossible to tell. “Have you been taking your birth control?”

“Yeah, obviously, but I’m terrible about remembering condoms and Satoru never manages to pull out.” It felt strange to describe your sex life to your boyfriend’s closest friend, but you soldiered on. She was a medical professional, a doctor. Your preferred methods of protection (or lack thereof) couldn’t have been the worst thing she’d heard that day. “I’ve already taken a test, but I just want to make sure. Cursed energy is already so complicated, and I know Satoru exceeds a lot of expectations. I don’t know if he, like, has—”

This time, she cut you off with an airy, but blatant laugh. “You think he’s got magic sperm?”

“He fights invisible monsters and teleports,” you snapped, your anxiety turning into irritation in the blink of an eye. “I don’t think ‘magic sperm’ is that unrealistic!”

For a moment, she seemed to regard you – her dark eyes boring into your wrinkled clothes, your disheveled hair, the bags under your eyes nearly deep enough to match her own. Even if she didn’t understand why you were worried, she’d have to recognize that you were, in fact, worried. And, if she really was your friend, she’d at least offer to help.

You held your breath until finally, she cracked, straightening her back with and audible sigh. “And why, exactly, couldn’t you go to a standard obstetrician about this?”

“Because you’re the best doctor I know and I’d trust you with my life?”

“Try again.”

“Because I can’t afford the co-pay and if I use Satoru’s card, he’ll find out.” You deflated after finishing, crossing your arms over your chest. “I… I really just want to know. If it turns out I did have a reason to worry, I’ll figure out what to do next, but—” This time, your voice cut out all on its own. You forced yourself to swallow before going on. “I just want to know, first. Satoru doesn’t have to be involved.”

It was an awful position to put her in, you knew. For as much as you trusted her, she’d known Satoru for years. She had every right to go to him about this, even if you really, really wished she wouldn’t. She didn’t owe you anything, much less her help. Much less her silence.

But there was a reason you trusted Shoko, that you felt as unreasonable close to her as you did. Above her mask, you saw her eyes soften before they flickered away from you, landing on the counter she’d already visited. “Lay down and take off what you need to,” she said, her gruff professionalism back in full force. “It might not be conclusive, but the most I can do is a physical examination. It’s not much, but if you don’t trust a real test, it’s the best thing I can offer you.”

You couldn’t help yourself – nearly falling off the table as you pulled her into a bone-crushing, lung-flattening hug. “Ieiri, you’re the best,” you nearly shouted, your voice bouncing off the blank walls of her office. You moved to thank her again, and again, and again, but she pried you off of her before you had the chance, muttering a curt ‘you’re welcome’ before turning away to make her preparations and escape your unwanted gratitude. You managed to stop yourself from chasing after her, and yet, you were still smiling as you settled back onto the table.

Still, embarrassment quickly dampened the brighter edges of your relief as Shoko glanced over her shoulder. “Are you comfortable with undressing here, or would you rather leave the room?”

You blanched, and Shoko was kind enough not to laugh before going on. “You did know you were basically coming to be for a gynecological exam, right?”

“I mean, yes, but—” You hadn’t, but then again, you weren’t sure what else you’d expected. This made sense, even if it was leagues beyond anything you thought to brace yourself for. If Shoko thought it would help, then it’d help. “Do I get a gown, or…?”

Her eyes fell to your skirt, long enough to fall just an inch or so above your knee. “That won’t be necessary. Take off your panties and lay down – I’ll be over in a second.”

Your face burnt, but you nodded, and she turned away. Biting your inner cheek, you swung your legs over the side of the table and kicked off your shoes. Shoko pretended to be preoccupied while you shrugged your panties down your legs and, with no other option, stuffed them into the pocket of your jacket. It was awkward – lying down and spreading your legs with Shoko less than a full ten feet away. It was one thing to ask your acquaintance for medical advice, and another to let your boyfriend’s friend act as your pro-bono gynecologist.

You heard a few tools clatter onto a metal tray, the padded feet of a stool scrape across the tiled floor, and wordlessly, Shoko positioned herself at the foot of the examination table. “This should only take a few minutes,” she said, as her gloved fingers skirted along the inside of your knee, then your thigh, before reaching your pussy. Your labia, you corrected, internally. If she could be a professional about this, so could you. “Let me know if you feel any pain.”

You nodded, keeping your eyes focused intently on the ceiling above you. Even if you had looked down, your skirt would’ve blocked most of your view, which was how you preferred it. You couldn’t see Shoko, and hopefully, she couldn’t see the way you flinched as she spread a cold, pricking sort of lubricant over your entrance, as she eased two fingers into your otherwise dry cunt. You’d assumed she would use a tool, but then again, you couldn’t imagine what kind. And besides, you really shouldn’t have been questioning a doctor.

Shoko’s voice was gruff, distracted. “How’s that?”

“F-Fine,” you squeaked. “Please, do whatever you need to.”

“Satoru’s got you that worn down, huh?” She let out a breath of a laugh, but leaned in, easing her digits into until she was knuckle deep. Her fingers were thin, but long and graceful in a way that made them difficult to ignore when paired with the strange tactility of her gloves. Her free hand curled around your ankle, as if to hold you in place. “I’m going start the test. It might feel a little strange, so try not to move.”

She gave you a moment to brace yourself before spreading her fingers apart, inadvertently pressing against the sensitive walls of your pussy. On reflex, you snapped your thighs shut, but Shoko caught you by the knee before you could attempt to break her arm. “Easy there.” And then, as her thumb pushed slow circles into your skin, “Think you can hold these open for me?”

You didn’t try to say anything, but with more than a little effort, you spread your legs – planting your feet more firmly on either corner of the table. “Thatta girl,” Shoko muttered, seemingly more used to comforting scared pets than nervous patients. “Remember – we’re here because you wanted to be. If you want to back out, just say the word.”

You shook your head furiously, instinctually. You’d never do that to Shoko, and she seemed to know that – not waiting for verbal confirmation before starting to move. She seemed to need to stretch you open, judging by the repetitive, scissor-like motions of her fingers, the way she huffed in irritation as she slipped yet another digit inside of you. You knew it was inappropriate, but it would’ve been impossible to stop yourself from heating up, from squirming, from dampening around her in a way that you couldn’t entirely separate from arousal. You kept your hips still and dug your teeth into your bottom lip with enough force to break the skin (you would’ve rather died than moaned during a medical exam), but your cunt wasn’t as easily reigned in. It wasn’t long before a sickeningly slick clicking-type noise accompanied every little movement of her fingers. Hopefully, she’d just assume she’d used more lube than she’d meant to. You didn’t know what you’d do with yourself, if she didn’t.

“Like I said – it’s a quick procedure, not a comfortable one. Most patients have a difficult time staying still.” It was humiliating – how steady her voice was while you were falling apart, fighting just to keep yourself from bucking into a medical professional’s hand. It took everything you had not to whimper when the scissoring slowed, then stopped altogether, only to be immediately replaced by the awful, terrible, embarrassingly wonderful feeling of her fingers curling inside of you, grinding against the most vulnerable part of your cunt. “It’s important to be thorough, though. I’m sure you understand why this is necessary.”

She couldn’t have done it on purpose. Nothing about this could’ve ever been intentional, and yet, when her wrist slipped, the heel of her palm seemed to land perfectly onto your neglected clit. It wasn’t much, just the hint of stimulation, but it was enough for you to seize-up – your nails scrambling helplessly over smooth titanium as you came, silently, around her fingers. Shoko, ever the professional, didn’t so much as slow down.

She only hummed, keeping her hand where it was – her palm now grinding broad, harsh patterns into your clit. “Are you usually this easily stimulated?”

You opened your mouth, but all you could seem to choke out was a single, jagged whimper. Shoko clicked her tongue. “I’m sorry, I should’ve phrased that in a way you’d understand.” And then, as she spread her fingers apart cruelly, “Do you normally cum in less than a minute with Satoru?”

This time, a strangled cry was as much of an answer as you could’ve possibly given. You weren’t sure why she was asking, but… this wasn’t normal for you, was it? And now that she mentioned it, you did feel more stimulated than you should’ve during anything remotely medical. Your skin felt hotter, more sensitive where it’d come into contact with her lubricant, and it was getting hard to think, hard to justify not grinding into her hand as she curled and twisted her fingers inside of you. God. You knew you’d been a wreck, lately, but you never would’ve thought that it gotten this bad.

The nails of Shoko’s free hand bit into your ankle, and too strung-out to stop yourself, you let out a whine by way of protest. She chuckled, and suddenly, you were empty, left bucking your hips into vacant air as she drew back. “Poor thing,” she muttered, her sympathy tinged with a sardonic sort of condescension. “I’ve got one last test. Think you can bear with me?”

“Ye—Yes,” you chirped. At that point, it was meaningless – you would’ve agreed to anything so long as she was the one suggesting it. You’d shut your eyes at some point, but you could still hear Shoko’s footsteps, feel her standing above you as she positioned herself at your side. One gloved hand cupped your cheek while the other pressed something blunt and thick against your cunt and, with no warning other than a mumbled reminder to ‘breathe, pretty girl, breathe’, thrust it inside of you.

Her reminder, sadly, proved useless. The air hitched in your lungs as a ribbed shaft filled your overeager pussy, the object curved in a way that made it feel like it was pressing into every fucking part of you at the exact same fucking time. Your hands shot to Shoko’s wrist, searching for something more forgiving than cold metal to ground yourself with. You tried to pull yourself together, and you might’ve been able to if two distinct, silicone-wrapped prongs hadn’t slotted against your clit or, even more damningly, if whatever tool Shoko was using hadn’t started to shake.

Saying you came embarrassingly quickly would’ve been an understatement. There was no pretense of dignity, this time; just grit teeth and twitching legs and one long, miserable sob. Shoko nursed you through it, rocking her vibrating tool inside of you gently until your climax had died into total limpness and the occasional, unsteady gasp. The tool was drawn back, but Shoko’s hand lingered, her thumb tracing patterns into your cheek. “Such a good girl,” she mumbled, and you melted into her touch. “Feeling a little tired?”

It was sickeningly guilt-inducing, just how nice she was being to you after you’d done nothing but humiliate yourself in front of her. “A little,” you admitted, smiling sheepishly. Shoko smiled back. You couldn’t remember when she’d taken off her mask.

“Close your eyes and catch your breath. I’ll finish up while you get a little rest.”

It was all you could do to nod before slumping into yourself, your body going slack despite your best attempts to hold yourself up. Her reassurance was nice, but unnecessary.

In less than a full second, you were out like a light.

~

In Shoko’s defense, she did actually take the time to check. After you passed out, as delicate as Satoru had always bragged you were, she tested the blood sample taken prior to your “exam”. It took a total of three minutes, and left her with good news and bad news to deliver when you woke up.

The good news was, predictably, that you’d been right. You were pregnant. About a month along, in fact. Congratulations, mazel tov, etc.

The bad news was, of course, that you were pregnant, and that Satoru had finally managed to knock you up. Thoughts and prayers, get well soon, etc.

 From her make-shift desk on the far side of the room, she spared a glance to where you were still sleeping on her autopsy table. You’d rolled onto your side since she last checked on you, your pleated shirt bunching at your waist as you used your arms as a rudimentary pillow. It’d be a lie to say she didn’t understand why Satoru had gone so crazy about you so quickly. What you were – an ordinary human with enough cursed energy to see, but not act – was rare, your continuous ability to gloss over the uglier parts of their world in favor of perpetual, delusional optimism even more so. It’d be impressive, if she didn’t know it was going to get you fucked over eventually.

You were cute. It’s surprised her when she first met you in-person, when she first realized that.

It’d surprised her a little less when she realized that you even cuter mumbling gibberish as you came around her fingers.

Her eyes fell back to the phone in her hand. Her messages with Satoru were already open, what she’d been deliberating on telling him already typed out. She sighed, checked the picture she’d taken of you sprawled out on her table, three of her fingers buried in your cunt, and hit send.

[1 attachment]

your girlfriend has something to tell you.

sending a bill for my time btw.

Three dots appeared at the bottom of the screen, signaling that Satoru was typing a response, before disappearing just as quickly. He tried calling her a second later, and she muted her phone before tossing it half-heartedly in the nearest drawer and turning back to you. Judging by your durability (or lack thereof), she’d have a few more minutes before you woke up, and another half an hour before the aphrodisiac gel she’d used on you started to wear off. You’d likely want to rush home to Satoru, when you finally got your hard-earned results.

Again, Shoko sighed, a slight smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

It’d just be a waste not to have a little fun while she could, right?

[tortillamastersblog]

ᗢ Enough | Wanda Maximoff ᗢ

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Warnings: mild injury

Summary: It seems as though no one can stop Wanda Maximoff from getting what she wants, and what she wants is America Chavez so she can steal her powers and travel to a universe where you and her children are still alive. . .

It turns out, no one doesn’t include you though.

Continuation of Take My Hand, but the two parts can be read separately which is why I’m not naming it “Part 2”

________________________________________________

“Fuck!” I sit up with a yelp, clutching at my pounding head.

It feels like someone is jumping around on it and when I open my eyes it takes a couple of seconds for everything to come into view.

That “everything” turns out to be Wong, standing right in front of me with wide eyes.

“Ahh!” I scream again and jerk backward to get a bit of distance between us. “What the hell?!”

One minute I’m at peace, floating around in nothingness with no sense of time or self and the next I’m. . . here.

I look around, and freeze when I realize I’m no longer in Wakanda.

I’m in a dark, wood-paneled room with a single window that is covered by a wooden screen. It has intricate designs carved into it and only allows a tiny amount of light to enter.

Red and yellow pieces of fabric are draped over the ceiling beams and the whole room is filled with smoke coming from a golden incense burner that is shaped like an antique oil lamp.

I’m sitting on a simple cot in the middle of the room, and stare at Wong.

“What happened? Where am I? I died?!” I shriek with realization, but before Wong can answer, an explosion rattles the building and bits of dust and rubble rain down on us.

He pulls me to my feet and dusts me off before dragging me out of the small room into a long hallway.

“There’s no time to explain! We need your help,” he says as another explosion shakes the ground beneath us.

Being a bit unsteady on my feet since I literally just returned from the dead, I stumble and trip after him as he leads me through what I’m now realizing is a temple.

Oh my God, this is Kamar-Taj. Why am I here? How am I here?!

“Wong, stop!” I whimper, ripping my arm from his grip and leaning against a wall.

My head is pounding in time with my heartbeat and every now and then black dots dance across my vision.

Wong seems conflicted about not going on, but lets me rest nonetheless.

“How am I here?” I ask softly. “I’m supposed to be DEAD. . . Wanda. . . she d-destroyed the stone.”

Wanda.

I smile sadly at the thought of her sparkling green eyes and the way her lips would twitch whenever I told a corny joke.

“You were dead,” Wong explains. “And you were sent here for burial. But as time went on we realized your body wasn’t decomposing. It wasn’t even turning cold.”

I tilt my head in question and shudder when the ground beneath us shakes yet again.

Wong looks around frantically, obviously dying to get going, but he continues to explain nonetheless.

“The mind stone is what brought you back to life all those years ago when Hydra experimented on you which is why it killed you when Wanda destroyed it. But then Thanos turned back time and used the stones. You were trapped between life and death for six years and it took me until now to realize that all you needed to come back was just a little bit of a jump start.”

I wince. “Jump start?”

“I shocked you with a spell,” Wong dead-pans and I stare at him with disbelief.

“But it won’t keep you alive for long,” he continues. “You need the stone to actually live. This is only temporary, but I didn’t have a choice.”

Great. So I’m running on limited time.

“B-But, why?!” I ask, clutching at my head.

Wong averts his eyes and shifts on his feet uncomfortably. “It’s Wanda, Y/N.”

I straighten up and ignore the resulting sting of pain that runs down my spine.

“What about her? Is she okay?” I say with wide eyes, but Wong doesn’t answer.

He just stares at the portal ring on his hand and as the seconds go by, I realize what is happening.

“It’s her, isn’t it?” I whisper when the ground shakes again.

Wong just nods and I sigh, gesturing for him to show the way.

This is exactly what I was afraid of. . . She couldn’t take any more and broke.

And now she’s attacking Kamar-Taj for some reason.

We continue down the hallway and Wong throws open the huge oak door once we reach the end of it.

The sight that greets me makes my blood freeze and I hold onto the doorframe, trying to process everything that’s happening.

Hundreds of sorcerers are in the courtyard, holding up shields of glowing orange magic and countering every strike of red energy that rains down on them from the sky.

A couple of sorcerers are already on the ground amidst the smoking rubble and for my own peace of mind I’m telling myself they’re just unconscious and not dead.

My Wanda wouldn’t kill anyone. Not on purpose.

“Fall back!” I hear a familiar voice and when I look to my right I see Stephen Strange.

He looks worn and battered from the fight, but when his eyes meet mine he perks up.

Not with a smile though. No, he’s scowling like there’s no tomorrow, but luckily it’s not directed at me.

“Wong! I can’t believe this— I told you—“

“I’m the sorcerer supreme, Strange!”

“What happened to letting the dead rest?!” Strange counters as red streaks of magic continue to rain down around us.

Wong just scoffs and makes a shield just in time to stop one of the red streaks from hitting us.

“I didn’t have a choice!” he counters loudly and all of a sudden everything around us goes quiet.

The assault from above stops and the smoke begins to clear.

“I knew you were a hypocrite, Stephen, but I never thought you’d stoop this low and resort to cruel trickery.”

Wanda’s voice makes my heart skip a beat and when I look up there she is, floating above the temple.

I feel myself smiling, but that smile quickly vanishes when I take in her appearance.

She is still my Wanda, yes, but she looks very different than the last time I saw her. Her eyes are sunken in and they don’t sparkle the way I remember. Her cheekbones are also more prominent, which seems to be the result of losing quite a bit of weight.

And then there’s the whole Halloween-ish outfit she’s wearing. I mean, is that a crown on her head?

Don’t get me wrong, she looks great, but so unlike the fiancée I left behind.

She gracefully lands in front of us and easily deflects the attack of one of the injured students close by.

“Wanda. . .?” Stephen prompts, but Wanda ignores him and narrows her eyes at me.

“Who are you?! Some kind of shapeshifter?” she asks, her voice low and threatening. Her eyes glow red and and she tilts her head slightly.

“I— No, Wanda. It’s me,” I say with a hesitant smile. I push myself off the doorframe and hold out my hands in front of me in an attempt to soothe her, but before I can even take a single step in her direction, I’m hit in the chest by her magic.

It sends me flying backwards through the oak door and into the hallway. When I hit the ground, the breath gets knocked out of me and I blink rapidly in an attempt to stay conscious.

What the hell?!

“Y/N!” Wong exclaims, but he too gets knocked off his feet when he goes to help me.

Stephen follows shortly after when Wanda flicks her hand and she steps over him with a snarl.

Then her eyes land on me again and she bares her teeth. “No, you’re not! Y/N is dead! So, I’m asking you again. . . Who are you?”

“Darling—“

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!” she screams with wild eyes and before I know it, I’m hit by another streak of magic.

This time it does more than just take my breath away and I yelp in pain, clutching at my chest where she hit me.

It feels like I’ve been electrocuted and the current is still running through me, forcing tears into my eyes and down my cheeks.

“Wanda,” I gasp. “Please, stop.“

Another blow hits me, this time in the stomach, and I squirm in pain with a sob. My hands are trembling and I feel myself getting weaker with every second that goes by. Wong’s spell must be wearing off.

“No!” she howls, using her magic to lift me into the air. It wraps around my body and throat like hot wires and I try to claw at it to get it off me. “How dare you pretend to be the love of my life?!“

“Wan. . .” My voice dies in the back of my throat when her magic tightens around my neck.

Her eyes glitter menacingly and for the first time since knowing her I feel actual fear creep into the pit of my stomach.

“You are not my Y/N,” Wanda hisses through gritted teeth.

I swallow harshly and avert my eyes so I don’t have to keep enduring the hate and distaste she is looking at me with.

What happened to her? Why doesn’t she believe me? And why is she hurting me? She’s never hurt me. . .

“Wanda, enough!” Stephen cuts in. He’s struggling to get back on his feet and leans against the wall for support.

“Zip it, Strange,” she counters. “Did you honestly think I’d fall for this little stunt of yours? Did you honestly—“

A whimper that claws its way out of me cuts Wanda off. My head is feeling like it’s being split in half and I know what that means because it’s the same thing I felt when the mind stone was being destroyed.

I’m running out of time.

I close my eyes and instantly, images of Wanda’s smile flash through my mind. I hear echoes of her giggles and happy squeals and my heart flips at all the memories we share.

I remember the feeling of her warm body beneath me and the sting of her nails digging into the skin of my back.

I remember the taste of her tears when we kissed after I proposed and she said yes, and I remember how her eyes lit up every time I entered a room.

Oh, how I love that woman, or should I say loved? Because that woman doesn’t seem to be the same as the one in front of me right now.

This Wanda is ruthless and cold hearted, and it breaks my heart to see what she’s turned into.

I’d honestly rather still be dead than witness this side of her.

“Y/N?”

The ropes of magic around me disappear and I feel myself being carefully lowered onto the ground. Once I make contact with the cold stone, I shudder and wrap my arms around myself.

Everything hurts and I just want to go back to being dead, but then a pair of warm hands on my cheeks makes me open my eyes.

“Y/N?” Wanda whispers, horrified, and her voice cracks when her eyes connect with mine and fill with realization. “Oh my God.”

She strokes her thumb over my cheek and I flinch at the small gesture which makes her eyes fill with tears.

“Moya lyubov. . .” She crumbles on top of me and clutches at my shirt with shaking hands. “It’s really you.”

I freeze beneath her and squeeze my eyes shut again when another blinding pain shoots through my head. This makes Wanda pull back and look at me with wide, worried eyes. “I hurt you, my love. Oh my God. I-I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen— I can’t believe I—“

I groan and wince again, lifting one hand to push against my throbbing temple.

Wanda’s hands cup my cheeks and I watch a tear roll down her face. “W-What is it? What’s happening? Am I still hurting you?”

She pulls back and stops touching me completely, frantically looking me over for any signs of injury.

Wong takes the opportunity to get to his feet and comes up behind Wanda to place a hand on her shoulder.

She doesn’t react to his touch and continues to run her eyes over me.

“What is it?” she asks, terrified. “What’s going on? What hurts, Y/N?”

I blink helplessly, not able to get any words out as another wave of pain washes over me.

“Wanda,” Wong says softly. “There nothing you can do.”

Her head whips around and she looks between Wong and Stephen. “What?“

Wong sighs with a sympathetic look and squeezes her shoulder. “I— The spell I used to bring Y/N back to life only works temporarily,” he explains.

Wanda gapes at him before turning back to me. Her chin is trembling and she takes my hands off my temples, lacing our fingers together.

It’s only then that I realize her fingertips are completely black and I have half a mind to pull away, but then my eyes meet hers and all my fears from earlier are washed away.

Looking back at me isn’t the new, heartless Wanda. It’s my Wanda and the agony on her face makes my own heart hurt.

“No, not again,” she whimpers. “I can’t watch you die again.”

Around us, all the injured students and masters who’ve been hesitant to approach move closer. To my surprise though, they’re not getting ready to attack. They’re simply watching us with sympathy and sad smiles.

Stephen and Wong share a knowing look and I realize that this was Wong’s plan all along.

“Darling,” I finally managed to gasp out. “It’s okay, just stop this.”

Wanda sobs and squeezes my fingers. “No, it’s not. Please, stay with me. . .”

I smile sadly and twitch when the last of my energy disappears.

“No! Please, please!” she cries, her eyes glowing red with emotion. “I love you.”

I love you, too. . .

The last thing I see before closing my eyes is the black slowly crumbling and chipping off her fingertips and the crown on her head glowing a bright red before disappearing.

A year later. . .

“What are you doing out here, darling? It’s cold,” I whispered against Wanda’s ear, coming up behind her on the balcony and wrapping my arms around her waist.

Wanda chuckles and leans back against me, tilting her head so she can look at me. “Just thinking. . .”

I quirk an eyebrow and run my thumbs over her stomach. “Are you okay?”

She smiles and lifts one of her hands to pull me down by the back of my neck, connecting our lips in a soft kiss. “I’m perfect. I was just thinking about what comes next.”

I still my thumbs and smile when she turns her attention back to the ocean below us. “And what might that be?” I ask.

Wanda intertwines our fingers over her stomach and raises our left hands to kiss the wedding ring on my finger. “I don’t know. A dog, maybe, and-and some kids?”

She says the last part a little hesitantly and I can’t help but smile even more, rubbing my nose up and down her neck, saying, “I’d love that.”

“Yeah?” she asks quietly and I nod, pressing a kiss to her neck right below her ear.

“Totally.”

A comfortable silence settles over us and I straighten up to watch the sunset, slowly swaying us from side to side.

Over a year ago at Kamar-Taj she lost her powers in order to keep me alive. It turns out that I don’t need the mind stone to keep me alive after all, but rather a source of energy and Wanda’s power are enough to last me a whole lifetime. Literally.

Which is why we’re here now, in our own little beach house on the coast of Rhode Island.

After making sure I would definitely be okay, she told me everything about Westview and how she began studying the Darkhold after.

She also told me about everything she did to get her hands on America and once all was said and done she gave me the choice of leaving or staying with her.

I obviously stayed, not deterred by her actions or the pain she inflicted upon me, and we eloped soon after.

We bought this house together with the money I saved before what happened in Wakanda and we’ve been living in married bliss ever since.

“I love you,” I whisper, tightening my hold around her when the sun finally sets, leaving behind an orange glow across the horizon.

“I love you, too,” she replies easily, chuckling when my stomach growls. “How about some dinner?”

I smile sheepishly and kiss the top of her head. “Yes, please.”

She lets go of my hands and turns around in my arms. “Then let’s go inside.”

I hum in agreement and bend down, pecking her lips a couple of times before following her into the house.

________________________________________________

This is not as good as Take My Hand, but I just had to write a follow-up because I hate angst without a happy ending and because I think Wanda didn’t deserve what happened to her.

[starlit-typewriter]

Genshin SAGAU, Creator of Teyvat, but not Humanity Part 1

Playing around with the idea of The creator of Teyvat, not being the creator of humanity.

Masterlist | Next Part

~~~

You were never much of a gamer.

Not that you disliked games of course, but it never quite clicked with you the way it did others. You’d try a couple of games on and off, but there would always be a point where it’d become boring.

Not that there was anything bad about the games themselves, you freely complimented the design and effort it goes into making these masterful pieces of art and code.

You just, weren't a gamer.

Until Genshin Impact

You can still remember the day you heard of it.

You were chatting with friends and one of them brought up this new game they saw a promotion for that they were interested in trying.

It was this anime-esque gacha game.

They showed you a couple trailers and promotional materials, and you must admit they were quite appealing.

However you didn’t intend to try it, knowing that you’d eventually drop it and move on.

But your friend still pestered you, claiming that there’s no harm in trying and dropping another game, after all it’s free anyways, so you’re not losing out on anything monetary.

Skeptical, you joined them in trying out the game.

And

Well

Let’s just say your friend got more than a couple of “I told you so’s” that day

It was beautiful.

The art, the music, the characters.

Everything about this game just, clicked.

You understand why people got so obsessed with certain games.

Why they would be willing to pay for things such as this.

Why this is such a large industry.

It’s, well it’s fun.

It was honestly quite frightening how quickly the game pulled you in.

You never understood the term “completionist”, until it started to apply to you.

Every quest, every domain, every achievement

You did it all

Every dialogue, every story, every entry in the archive.

You read it all.

You scoured the forums for bits of lore, and shrieked with your friend every time something new was dropped.

Genshin was all consuming.

It was honestly quite concerning, if it weren’t for the fact it was time gated with its resin cap and limited content, your outside life probably would’ve suffered.

On some level you probably knew that this was not normal. Your friends who were all gamers as well were never as obsessed over a single game as you were over Genshin.

But you reassured yourself, this is the first game that made you feel this way, its natural for you to go a little overboard.

I’m sure it’ll die down as I try out other games.

But you never really did.

No other game, no matter how popular or similar or highly rated.

Other games from Hoyoverse fared slightly better in terms of attention span.

But you always went back to Genshin.

Not that it bothered you.

Genshin was enough, considering you still had real world responsibilities to balance.

And that was that.

Until, well.

Until Fontaine.

You see, you’d always enjoyed the characters of Teyvat.

But you’ve never quite simped after them the way the fanbase did.

You admired their aesthetics and enjoyed their stories. But they never quite drew you in.

Even your main, was quite honestly determined by meta and whatever character you’ve managed to get your hands on.

There was never a “waifu” or “husbando”.

It was always the world and story that drew you in rather than individual characters.

Iudex Neuvillette was an exception.

The exception

He felt right.

You immediately knew you had to pull for him.

So you did.

And playing him was amazing. He was as meta breaking as you’d hoped and, well, you just liked him.

“Your first official Husbando” your friends would tease. You understand why they would go such lengths for a specific character now.

He was special.

He was a Dragon.

He felt, right.

You quite never understood why

Not until you entered the world of Teyvat.

That story,

Well,

That begins from the other side of the screen.

~~~

“I bet we can definitely open up a whole new sector in Fontaine if all goes well don't you think?” Hu Tao chattered as she and Zhongli strolled back to Liyue Harbor.

Zhongli hummed in agreement, only half paying attention to the conversation. He could tell Hu Tao noticed, since she was keeping the topic of conversation to light topics that anyone with half a mind could parse through. Only enough relevance so that he wouldn’t get lost in thought, but not so much that he had to focus on the conversation.

She was considerate like that, he knew since she had let many of his oddities slide, especially when he was still adjusting to mortal life.

Not that he was free from old habits mind you.

Zhongli doubted he would ever truly be able to blend into a crowd of mortal without some level of adept arts concealing his presence, however he was able to blend in enough so that the average nosy person was able to wave off his eccentricities a simply a facet of his personality rather than something deeper.

He cannot forget that it was thanks to people such as Hu Tao who were willing to let him in without many questions that allowed him to get to this point. Something he will be forever grateful for.

Be that as it may, it did not change the fact that some things will forever be kept secret.

His near encounter with the Hydro dragon for one.

Even from the other side of Qiaoying village where he’d made himself scarce, he could feel the amount of blessings placed upon the man.

He truly was favored by the creator.

Not that that was any surprise.

What was surprising was his own blessing.

Though much smaller, he still treasured the gift given to him by the creator of Teyvat.

Teyvat, after all, was a world of Dragons.

It was due to the advent of The Primordial One, did they lose their authority.

Not that many people knew.

Most people didn’t

The true History and creation of Teyvat was kept tightly wrapped, even the most learned scholars of the Akademiya could only infer at what truly happened, as well as the origin of humanity.

The true name of the creator was lost to time, only their title of the creator of Teyvat remaining. The mortals who lived on Teyvat daren’t give them another for fear of evoking their wrath.

They had plenty to be wrathful about.

Zhongli would only imagine his own rage, if anything similar happened to Liyue.

Imagine putting in centuries upon centuries of work only for an outsider to come in, destroy your work and reshape it for their own people. Before proceeding to have the audacity to name him as a contributor to their success and praise alongside such an usurper.

Just imagining it makes him angry.

That is why, the creator’s title is rarely evoked.

Names have power after all.

Names of gods even more so.

To evoke their name, their title, is to ask for attention.

Attention that would be safer left elsewhere.

Not that mortals knew the true reason.

The commonly accepted reasoning was that the creator of Teyvat has long turned their gaze elsewhere, satisfied with the current ruling of Teyvat, having entrusted their powers to Celestia and the Archons.

Zhongli would feel guilt at this blatant lie and rewriting of history if he could.

But he cannot, because to feel guilt would be to regret his actions and to wish something was different.

But he knew that he, along with all of humanity, Liyue Harbor, his Adepti and friends. They would not have existed, they would not have lived, has history played out justly.

The world is not just.

The world simply is.

He feared to an extent that the Hydro dragons would try to force a more cruel version of justice upon Fontaine, condemning them all as usurpers, when they had no idea, or even power over what had happened in the past.

Thankfully it seems that Focalors’s plan to integrate him into humanity worked. Stemming any sort of “justice” he may enact on humanity for the crimes of The Primordial One. In fact, he seems to have great fondness over humanity, absolving them of their sin and saving them from the prophecy that threatened Fontaine for so many centuries.

However, he knew that he was exempt from this mercy. Zhongli knew that when the time came, the Hydro dragon, or well Iudex Neuvillette would spare no effort in holding him accountable for his actions in usurping the original order of Teyvat.

Which is exactly why he avoided the man, dragon? as he did.

“-ello, earth to Zhongli, ”

Zhongli blinked, Hu Tao’s voice dragging him back to their situation at hand.

“Ah, my apologies, I seemed to have been lost in thought”

She clicked her tongue at him, “Aiyyaa, honestly Zhongli, I wonder sometimes if your age is getting to you, I was trying to get your attention for quite a while”

“Is that so,”

Zhongli couldn’t help but smile at her exaggerated groan.

“I was merely thinking about some old history,” he started, preparing himself to finish the history of Qiaoying village that he was telling Hu Tao on their way over.

“Oh no, there’s no need for that,” she waved off, a slight grimace on her face.

He knew how bored she was by the story the way over, so it served as a perfect distraction on the way back to stop her from questioning any further.

“Honestly a girl can only listen so much about the different varieties of teas and their subtle notes and flavoring before she has to burst yo know,” she complained.

“Well, the history of tea has a -”

“Oh look we’re almost there!” She pointed out, most likely in a desperate bid to stop him from droning on.

He was being slightly unfair to her, he knows, but it never ceases to become unassuming when people try to fake interest in a topic, only to regret it when they realize just how much there is to know about it.

Of course it can never compare to when someone has a genuine passion for the topic and wants to engage further, but those mortals are rare.

More often than not, he can use his vast knowledge as a smokescreen too, well, as Paimon would most likely put it. Bore people into leaving him alone.

He waves off Hu Tao as she bounces back home, and allows himself to take a stroll through the streets of Liyue Harbor.

The Lantern Rite was ending, another celebration successfully done under the hard work of the Qixing

He gazed around at all the sights, the lanterns, the food stalls, the beautiful atmosphere of people enjoying the celebration.

No

He could never regret what he did.

Not since it lead to peace and happiness like this.

And

If things are as he suspects.

He may never have too.

He feels it once more.

The glow of the creator's blessing.

He can feel it swirling within him as he steps through Liyue Harbor.

He wonders if they can see it as he does. Sees the beauty and resplendence of humanity.

Look, he wants to scream

They are nothing like The Primordial One

They are good, kind and beautiful.

Humans may not be your creation, they may not have originated from this world but that does not mean they do not deserve to stay.

But he doesn’t

First of all because he feels that screaming these things in the middle of a busy street may attract some weird looks.

But also out of fear, fear that any attempt to disrupt this fragile peace could lead to destruction.

Because it is fragile, it has only been a couple of years since the creator has turned their eyes to Teyvat.

Those who have been blessed have been careful in their own way not to destroy this chance that the creator has given them.

A chance to prove themselves, not only as people deserving of their attention and blessing, but as a people.

To prove themselves just as worthy of the dragons of staying in Teyvat.

Because they all know, in their hearts of hearts, that what the creator has created, they could just as easily destroy.

While some may tease him for his age, there is no denying that with age comes experiences that the younger generation may never know.

He himself, whilst having been born long after the disappearance of the creator, witnessed firsthand how it had affected the world.

How Godly remains tainted the earth for far longer than it used to.

How miasma and abyssal energy started to leak forth.

How Leyline disorders became more and more commonplace.

Teyvat was breaking.

It was falling apart.

But perhaps.

With this new chance, it could be fixed.

He could still remember the day the creator first turned their gaze upon Teyvat.

Or well, more specifically, the first time they turned their gaze on him.

He had heard rumors of an outlander from Mondstatdt making their way to Liyue. Tales of their feats and defeating Dvalin with the wayward Anemo Archon were as prevalent as talks about the upcoming Rite of Descension.

He had taken note of it of course, outlanders were rare after all, but he hadn’t expected this one to be quite, consequential.

Not until he met them.

He felt their approach funnily enough, the unbranded aura they carried within them. While he could’ve written it off as an aspect of their outlander status, internally he knew it not to be true.

He was far too young to have ever met the creator, or even the original dragons.

But he has stumbled upon their remnants.

Pure remnants, unlike the gnosis which have been twisted and altered by the time it had spent in the hands of The Primordial One.

It was, indescribable.

Free, yet grounded.

Unwavering yet fluid.

Swift yet languid.

It

It simply was

It was the essence of Teyvat.

The essence of the land he lived and fought and bled and laughed in.

How could he not worship it.

How could he not fear it.

He had felt Childe walk in with bated breath, distracting himself with his cup of tea to settle his nerves.

What did this mean?

Was this the end of Liyue, of humanity, of Teyvat?

Over the centuries people have accepted the creator’s complacency in the affairs of Teyvat.

What does it now mean that they have focused their gaze once more on this land.

Destruction

Salvation

He daren’t hope or guess.

But

Well,

The Traveler was kind.

They had no ill will towards the people of Teyvat.

While it was clear they had their own mission to stove for, they did not hesitate in helping those they can along the way.

If the creator has blessed one such as them, one so kind to humans, one with no ill will.

Perhaps.

A seed of hope planted itself in him, and refused to budge.

As time went on, the seed grew.

Hope grew.

The tiny seed of hope that he tried so hard to ignore and deny could be ignored no longer when he received a blessing himself.

He could still remember it so clearly.

It was a normal day, nothing out of the ordinary. He went to work, had tea, chatted with passersby.

There were no great feats.

No great revelations, or offerings.

Yet he felt it for the first time.

A blessing.

A pure, gentle, powerful blessing.

He could feel the sentiment behind it, weak as it was.

Relief, excitement, apprehension.

He wanted to cry, to pray. To thank them for giving him a chance, for giving the people of Teyvat a chance.

But fear held him back.

It still does to this day.

That’s the problem with gods, their pleasure and their wrath can often look the same.

Even as he compared notes with Barbatos and the Adepti, confirming that many of them have been given blessings.

While some like Ganyu, rejoiced in this blessing eager for a chance to prove themselves worthy of this world.

People such as him were still fearful.

Fearful of what this meant and what they wanted.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he realized that xiangling was also blessed.

Not that the girl knew, after all the creator was very rarely spoken of, only ever mentioned in ancient rites and the most descriptive of history books.

But she had the blessing, a human.

From that point he saw so many others, so many humans, mere mortals given their divine blessing and gaze.

An exorcist, an author, a member of the Qixing.

It spread across Teyvat, whispers as people soon realized that there was a god, an unknown god blessing them.

Granting them abilities beyond their visions, oftentimes enhancing them to levels beyond previously known human limits.

No one dared to say their name, they were insinuations, and speculations, but no one dared disturbed the fragile peace that has settled.

It is an understanding between those who have it.

Those who know, know and those who don’t are kept in the dark.

But it seems that the Creator has turned their gaze to Teyvat and to humans.

~~~~

Masterlist | Next Part

~~~~

Tell me what you guys think!

[inthedoghousern]

settle down

pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

summary: lando has always been a good friend of your brother, so you know he's off limits, but sometimes you just can't help yourself. guess you'll never learn. inspired by "settle down" by the 1975.

contains: 18+, cursing, alcohol/drinking/smoking, suggestive content (make outs!).

4.4k words

a/n: ok let me clarify: loosely inspired. this isn't reallyyyyy the 'storyline' of the 1975's settle down, but that's okay!

You're wearing your hair down and it slightly covers your face as you go to answer the knocking coming from your front door. When you open it, you're surprised to find your brother's best friend standing there. 

"Oh, you're early, no?" You ask, puzzled, while pushing your hair behind your ears. You knew your brother was throwing a party tonight, but that was in a little bit, and your brother wasn't even home at the moment. 

"He told me to come early to help set up. Whatever that means," he answers. 

"Not sure if he knows that because he's not here," you tell him. Your brother is an idiot. "Well come in I guess." You shrug and move to the side, motioning Lando in. 

You didn't really mind. Of course, you and Lando were friendly, considering he was so close with your brother. When you were younger you even hung out with the two of them a lot. As you got older, their racing and your school stuff just caused the friendship between you and Lando to be more casual. And it was fine. Sometimes schedules would work out and Lando, your brother, and you would cross paths. But for the most part, you just followed his life online like everyone else. 

Though you had to be honest, back then, Lando didn't seem to have much of an effect on you, but now as he stands in front of you, you feel a lump forming in your throat. When did he get so good-looking?

You don't know what has come over you as the two of you enter the house. You feel like falling all over the place. You two make your way to the living room and sit on the couch. It's silent for a moment before Lando speaks up.

"Where even is he?"

"Pretty sure he's stocking up on drinks for tonight. I don't know why he wouldn't have waited to bring you, or just like, tell you to come later." You shake your head. 

Lando laughs and shakes his head too and the silence returns. 

Now you ask a question. “Hasn't been just us in a while, huh?”

“It's been a minute.” Lando chuckles along with you, the silence now slightly less awkward.

You lean back on the sofa. “So how are you? I haven’t seen you in forever,” you ask with a smile. 

“I’m good, I’m good. Honestly, nothing too interesting going on.” He shifts on the couch.

The two of you sit in silence again, until Lando speaks up. 

“You're staying for the party, right?”

“Yeah. Thought I’d stick around this time.”

Lando tilts his head to the side. “Is that so?”

Your stomach does a flip. You try to shake away the thoughts entering your mind. He’s your brother's best friend, you've known him for years, you need to relax. 

“Mhm,” you hum in response. 

Lando looks down for a moment and then over at you. 

“When’s your brother getting back?”

“Not sure.” You open your phone and check his location. As you look away, Lando eyes wander to your neck, then your torso and legs, then your lips, all in the span of a few seconds as you sit on the couch next to him. He had spent countless hours with your family, sat and talked with you many many times. What a familiar face yours was to him. But today he couldn't help but notice something had changed between you. Was it all the time you had spent a part? Or maybe the fact that he's finally seeing you in person and not through a screen. Lando would never admit it, but lately he tended to linger on your social media posts longer than he should.

Lando meets your eyes again when you look up from your phone.

“Yeah, I have no idea, looks like he's still shopping. Do you want me to ask?”

Lando shrugs, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. 

“It’s alright, I was just asking.” He leans back again, stretching his arms over his head as he does.

You can’t help but look at the exposed skin of his stomach when his t-shirt rises. Your eyes glance down, but you look away as quickly and inconspicuously as possible. 

But Lando does notice your brief glance down and back up again. If you could see his expression, you’d notice it’s a mixture of amusement, and something else. He doesn’t say anything though. Instead, he leans forward, speaking slightly softer. 

“You know, I've missed seeing you.”

You can feel heat rising up the back of your neck. Still, you feel a smile tugging at the sides of your mouth and now the two of you are making eye contact. “Oh really?”

Lando can feel your breath on him. He lets out a small breath himself, letting out a shaky laugh. He looks you deeply in your eyes and brings his arm to the back of the sofa behind you. 

Time seems to move extremely slowly. The atmosphere is charged, your eyes locked on to one another. Lando holds your gaze for a moment, waiting to see if you have anything more to say. 

You lean towards him. He feels you press yourself against him. The two of you are so close together, you can feel Lando’s body heat rising, his muscles tightening.

He leans forward, brushing his lips against yours very softly.

You kiss him back. As you do so, Lando gently moves his hands to your waist and pulls you closer to him and you wrap your arms around his neck. The kiss continues and grows much more passionate. You feel Lando’s hands moving up and down your back, the two of you fully enveloped in one another.

Your position shifts, and now you’re sitting on his lap. Still connected in your kiss. 

Lando’s mouth moves along your jaw, “Fuck Lando,” you breathe out as he kisses your jaw and neck. Your hands are buried in his hair. 

Your words bring a small chuckle from him, and he smiles into your neck. He's finding himself so fixated on the girl with the soft sounds. Her hair all over the place. 

You're also fixated on this boy. Lando Norris. The guy you've known your whole life. The guy who's best friends with your brother. The guy who was off limits. He isn’t supposed to be the guy to make you feel like this, and yet, here you are, on top of him. 

Lando’s hands slide under your shirt as he continues to kiss you. 

The feeling of Lando running his hands all over you and his suffocating kisses are almost enough to make you forget where you are. Who you are. Almost. The illusion breaks when you hear a sound from outside. 

A car door shutting. 

The two of you freeze. As one, you both turn your heads. The sound is followed by footsteps. Heavy footsteps. 

It’s your brother.

“Fuck,” you laugh, panicking. You quickly slide off of Lando. 

“Goddamnit.” Lando shakes his head with a smile and sits back. 

You’re both a bit of a mess. You two are breathing heavily and you're flushed. Your hair disheveled. You’ve just barely finished fixing yourself when you heard your brother’s voice from the front door. 

“I’m back.”

“Hey!” You clear your throat. “Lando’s here." 

“Thought so, I saw his car in the driveway.” Your brother steps into the living room, a bag in his arm. 

“What’s up man,” Lando gets up. “You got more stuff in the car?” He asks your brother. 

“Yeah a few more boxes,” he responds. 

“Alright let me help.” They walk back outside together and you lean back on the couch, looking up and covering your face with your hands. 

You sit there for a moment, feeling a bit shaken. You feel a little dirty almost? But you can’t stop thinking about the way Lando kissed you.

You let your hands fall to your sides before the two of them walk back in. Your brother sits on the couch and Lando sits in a chair across from you. Just a few feet away. It’s like nothing happened. You know he can't be found with you.

Luckily, your brother is completely oblivious. 

“People should start getting here in like an hour,” he comments. 

You get up from the couch. “Alright, I’m gonna get ready then. See you guys later.” 

You rush upstairs and shut the door. Your heart is pounding, and you’re still in disbelief. As you lie down on your bed, your mind races with everything that just happened. 

You cannot let your brother find out.

He would probably kill you, or kill Lando. 

No, he’d kill both of you. 

-

You spend more time than you should getting ready, but you’re hoping to calm down a little. Eventually, you start to hear music from downstairs, and the bass shakes your floor. You also begin hearing the sound of voices and laughter as your brother greets people at the door. 

You take a deep breath as you look at yourself one last time in the mirror. Now or never. Just avoid him. 

You walk down the stairs and are immediately met with 'hellos' and 'heys' from different directions. You greet as you weave your way through the house, and finally, you get to the kitchen. You beeline to the fridge, getting a drink. 

“Hello helloooo,” you hear from behind. When you turn around you're met with your best friend. 

"Hey!" Her arrival is a breath of fresh air after feeling so out of sorts with Lando. She gives you a big smile and hugs you tightly.

“Thank god you’re here,” you say as you pull away from the hug. “Get a drink and then we need to talk. It’s important.”

Your best friend gives you a curious look, raising her eyebrow at you in surprise. She glances around for a moment and then back at you. 

“What is it? Is something going on?” People are in and out of the kitchen around you two. The house is getting busier and busier. You look around quickly and then whisper in your friend’s ear, “It’s about Lando.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” she whispers, a look of excitement in her eye and concern as well.

“Yeah, I know. Now get a drink and let’s get outside or something,” you laugh. 

“Are you being serious? Did you fuck Lando?” She leans in closer as if she doesn’t believe what she’s hearing is real.

“Shush! Oh my god come on.” You pass her a drink and grab her hand, pulling her behind you. 

Though, as you try to exit the kitchen people are also walking in, causing a bit of a standoff. And of course. It’s Lando and your brother. 

“Hey what’s up!” your brother greets your best friend. 

Out of you four, your brother is the only one who is out of the loop on the current... situation.

Lando directs a nod toward your friend but soon looks back at you. You're staring back. 

“Hi nice to see you both I was just going out for a smoke talk to you later goodbye," your best friend quickly rambles to the two boys, and then you both push past out of the kitchen. 

You can feel Lando's eyes on the back of your head as you go out the door.

-

You sit on the porch and she lights a cigarette, taking a drag, and then turning to you, “I can’t believe it. You’re not fucking with me right?” She says laughing. 

You laugh and put your head in your hands. “I’m being so serious," you mutter but then look up again. "But we didn't sleep together. It was just a... heavy makeout...? That got interrupted."

She starts laughing and you laugh with her, the two of you in disbelief. 

“Dude you can’t just hook up with Lando! Oh my god, your brother is going to freak out.” She says, still laughing. 

“I know. He cannot find out.” You smile and take a sip of your drink.

Your best friend looks at you over her cigarette, “…well, I mean, was it good?”

"It wasn’t bad…” you trail off with a grin. Your best friend smirks as you speak, raising her eyebrow and laughing out loud. 

“It wasn’t bad.” She repeats, and you can hear the amusement in her voice. 

“You’re a mess.” She says, and the two of you burst out laughing as if it’s not a big deal at all. She's right, you are a mess. You're avoiding him and yet wondering if he's talking 'bout you too. 

The two of you keep talking and drinking on the porch until your cans are empty. “Alright,” you say slapping your knees and standing up. “We should be social, and I need another drink.”

“You would be right," your best friend says immediately and gets to her feet. You’re relieved to have her with you, maybe she’ll help you keep your mind off of Lando and what just happened. And getting another drink wouldn’t hurt either. 

“C’mon.” Your best friend pulls you away from the porch and the two of you reenter the party.

-

You're back in the house and the night resumes. You have fun for a bit, talking to your other friends, drinking, and doing some shots. You know Lando is here somewhere, but you don’t know where and you don’t really care. Don't want to care at least. 

At one point, your best friend pulls you aside again, “I’m gonna have another smoke, you coming?” she asks. 

“Yeah sure, I could use some air.” You two go outside again. It's gotten later and you're feeling the cold air prickle against your skin. 

She lights her cigarette as someone else from the party comes out, and they light up too. The three of you talk for a while, but you're starting to feel too cold, and you're the only one not smoking. 

“Hey, I’m going back in,” you tell her. She nods, “Cool, I’ll see you inside later, I’m gonna chill out here for a bit.” 

You head back into the party, and once again it’s crowded: people are moving between rooms, there’s music blasting, and you can smell the liquor in the air. 

You're pushing through bodies as you walk through the living room. You pass someone and the two of your arms collide hard. You go to mumble a 'sorry', but you stop yourself when you see who it is. 

Lando. You both pause. 

You feel the heat coming off of his body and your chilled skin from the night air touches against him. You're cold and he burns. You shiver, unsure if it's from the temperature outside or the man standing in front of you. 

“Cold?” he asks leaning close so you can hear him over the music. 

You laugh, “I was just outside. Won’t take long to warm back up in here though.” 

He smiles slightly at you and nods, but the look in his eyes reveals he knows there’s more to it than that. 

You can still feel the heat coming off of him, and you don’t know how to avoid it. You’re trying to block out the memories of what happened in this living room earlier, but it’s pretty obvious the tension between the two of you is still there.

“Wanna go get another drink?” he asks. 

There’s a part of you that knows you should say no, but there’s also a certain adrenaline rush that courses through you in his presence. He doesn’t seem to care about the circumstances, and he’s actually making this interesting.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Let’s get a drink then,” he says, grabbing your shoulders and turning you towards the kitchen. You walk ahead as he follows with his hands on your shoulders. The sensation of him holding you makes your heart race, you feel like his touch could burn a hole right through you. 

You get to the kitchen and Lando lets go of you, making his way to the fridge, grabbing you both drinks. You sit on the counter as Lando stands in front of you with his own drink.

You take some time to just look at him, your eyes locked on his, and he looks right back at you. There’s this air of tension between the two of you and despite neither of you outright acknowledging it; you both know. 

“Having fun?” you ask him, taking a sip of your drink. 

“Yeah, I’d say so,” he teases you, taking one step forward so that he’s standing closer than he was before.

“Are you having fun?”

“Yes, I am,” you say looking down at him from your position on the counter. 

“Good.” 

It’s such a simple word, but the way he speaks it is almost provocative. Everything about him right now is like that.

You both sip from your drinks, and he’s so close to you that you feel like you could lean forward and kiss him without moving. The idea has you feeling a bit dizzy.

You don’t say anything and neither does he; everything between the two of you is so intense, so silent. You're losing your words. You two are speaking in bodies. 

You break the eye contact and don’t say anything as you put your drink down and get off of the counter. You and Lando are nearly pressed together for a moment when you get down, but you move to the side and start leaving the kitchen. 

Confusion is all over Lando’s face, he turns as you walk by. 

“Where are you going?” He laughs as he starts to follow. 

You start moving through the party to the stairs, and you don’t look behind you to see if he’s following. You know he is. As you get to the staircase you start climbing up and Lando's nearly on your heels with every step you take. 

When you reach the second floor and it’s dark and quiet. You open the door to your room and walk inside, Lando is right behind you as you do so. You enter the room and hear Lando closing the door and clicking the lock. The party is downstairs, and up here it’s a different world. 

You and Lando stand there for a moment, and the silence is deafening. You both know why the other came to this room and in the low light, he moves closer to you. 

You can feel his hand wrap around your waist slightly and he pulls you towards him. Lando smiles softly as you wrap your arms around his neck. Your fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck, and your body is pressed against his. 

“You know…” he whispers to you, “I really would like to finish what we started earlier…”

“Or is the idea of your brother being downstairs too much?” he whispers softly, as his hands move to the small of your back, holding you gently and close to his body.

The air seems to be hot as you press yourself against Lando. Your hands wrapped around the back of his neck, the heat coming off of his body as he leaned his own against you. 

“I love the guy but I really wish he wasn’t here. Or that anyone was here,” his voice almost a whisper, “but I guess that means we have to be really quiet…”. 

You smile and shake your head, “I guess…” your eyes are flickering from his eyes to his lips. You shouldn’t want this, but you really do want this. 

Lando smiles back, his hand trailing your back slowly. It’s a tease and you know it. His one hand starts to move up your back, making its way towards the back of your neck, and he brings his free one to the side of your face. Your arms are still wrapped around him. He traces his fingers along your cheek slowly, and you feel your breath catch in your throat. 

Your bodies are close together and you can feel their heat against each other. The air is thick, and you know what needs to happen next.

You both lean towards each other and meet in the middle, finally tasting each other again. The kiss is filled with passion and you can feel his lips on yours, his tongue meeting your own.

Lando deepens the kiss and you're pushed back into the door. Pinned between his body and the wall. He doesn’t break the kiss and his hands slide down your body, moving down to your hips. 

Lando starts kissing down your jaw and neck again. There is an ease about the way he moves now, he can take his time now that you're behind closed doors. 

He makes his way down your neck, leaving a trail of kisses behind him. The feeling is electric as his hands rest on your hips still, his touch is soft and tender as he moves his lips back up and kisses you again on the lips.

The feeling of your hands in Lando's hair makes him grin against you. Your kiss becomes more passionate as you pull his hair, and you can feel touch of his hands beneath your shirt. Fingers against your skin. Your mind is hazy from the kiss and the alcohol but you let the feeling wash over you. 

He tugs at the hem of your shirt and pulls it off of you. 

You break the kiss finally and breathe in the heat of the room. With your shirt removed his hands trail the bare skin of your back and sides, and his lips trace your neck.

The heat is so intense it makes your body feel like it has a mind of its own.

You lightly push him off, towards the edge of the bed, with a laugh. He laughs with you and goes along with your push, sitting down. You see that he has a smirk on his face, and as you look him over he leans back on his hands and continues to watch you. 

The air is tense with a build-up of tension, waiting for the next move.

You stand in front of him and grab both of his arms, lightly pulling them up above his head. Lando chuckles softly at the move, and with your help, he lifts his arms fully to keep them there. 

You pull the shirt off of Lando slowly, revealing his bare chest. You can see his muscles twitch slightly from your touch.

When the shirt is tossed, Lando’s hands rest on your hips again, bringing you closer and pulling you down on top of him. 

He's watching you with half-lidded eyes, a soft smile on his face, and his hands slide up your sides and your back. The feeling is intoxicating, you feel your breath coming quicker and quicker as Lando’s hands make their way up your body.

You kiss him again, hands grasping his shoulders. Your bodies are pressed together and the heat of the moment is too much to resist. You can feel Lando’s hands all over you, caressing your shoulders and neck, and playing with your hair.

He groans as you grind against him, and he lets one of his hands move to the small of your back to pull you closer to him. Lando wants more of you.

Then

Suddenly someone is trying the door handle and there's knocking. You and Lando quickly break away from the kiss. For crying out loud. 

“For fucksa-“ Lando starts but you slap your hand against his mouth. 

“Settle down,” you mouth at him. 

“Hey, are you in there?” You recognize your best friend's voice from the other side of the door. You can feel Lando smiling into your hand. He shakes his head and leans into your shoulder. 

You clear your throat, “Yeah I’m in here!” you answer. You hear Lando chuckle softly but he keeps quiet as he is pressed against your shoulder. 

“Are you alright?” your friend asks from the other side of the door, “I’ve been looking downstairs for yo-”

“Yeah I’m alright” You interrupt. 

“Okay, well….” you hear your friend hesitate for a moment, “...wait. Shut the fuck up.” You hear her familiar laugh. 

“Do you have Lando in there with you?” she asks, her voice sounding louder, she must be closer to the door now. 

This question makes Lando laugh out loud. You hit his chest. He was the one who was saying we had to be 'so quiet' and now he just confirmed his presence.

You can hear your best friend laugh as well on the other side of the door, and you know she won’t stop until she hears you answer the question. 

“Yes, I do," you admit, “Now go away!”

Your best friend laughs even harder outside. “Alright alright. Bye. Bye, Lando. I’ll try to keep your brother away too, you're welcome!” She finishes and you can hear her leave. 

“She knows?” he laughs against your ear, “I thought this whole thing was secret…”

“Shut up. Be happy it was her at the door and not you know who,” you joke. 

Lando grabs your hips and lifts you off of him. In a few swift motions he has you lying on the bed and he’s on top of you. He leans down and kisses up from your collarbone to just under your ear.

“If we get interrupted one more time…,” he trails off into your ear and then pulls away looking at you. His face right above yours. 

You shake your head smiling, you run your hands through his hair looking up at him. 

Lando smiles back at you. You can see the desire in his eyes. 

You can still feel his breath all over you from his kissing just moments earlier. Your skin is sensitive from the heat, from him, and you feel a wave of goosebumps run up your body just from his touch. 

Lando leans forward and the two of you kiss again.

The bass from downstairs vibrates through the floor and drowns out the music, the voices, the party. 

Your head is spinning. This is so wrong. But also it feels sort of right. Whatever was happening between the two of you was going to make your life chaotic. But even so, the same thought keeps running through your head…

Now I just can’t stop myself around you. 

[rafedarling]

𝐯𝐡𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐞

pairing: rafe cameron x kook!reader

summary: you’re a strong, confident, and nobody’s fool—certainly not even rafe cameron’s. when you stumble upon a tape hidden in his room, containing something far more personal than he ever shared with you, it’s not about sofia or the past. it’s about the trust rafe shattered by not telling you. his refusal to be upfront about it breaks something between you, and when you confront him, it becomes clear he’ll do anything to keep you—even when you decide to walk away. but you aren’t going to crumble or let him control you. you move on and live your life, but rafe doesn’t know how to let go. in the end, the choice between holding onto your pride or the fire between you burns brighter than you imagined.

warning(s): toxic relationship dynamics, dark themes (possession, emotional manipulation), strong language, sexual content (18+), emotional intensity. MINOR DNI!

au: another angst again? really? i know but i’m a angsty bitch so yea. like, reblog, comment & feedback are much appreciated. discussion can be send through my ask box, please feel free to send in anything. taglist | tagging: @rubixgsworld @rafeyslamb @bisexualcvnt @tracymbcm @maybankslover @mileyraes @akobx @noobmazter69 @xoxohoneymoongirl @xoxosblogsblog @wearemadeofstardust0 @saviorcomplexrry @littlelamy @enjoymyloves

You sat at the kitchen island in the Cameron household, staring at the coffee in front of you while Rose, Rafe’s stepmom, hummed softly to herself, clearly pleased with her latest floral arrangement. The normalcy of the moment clashed sharply with the unease gnawing at you, but you kept your emotions in check.

“Rafe’s been a bit on edge lately, hasn’t he?” Rose asked, glancing at you from over the top of her cup.

You kept your tone even, despite the knot of unease tightening in your chest. “He’s always like that.”

She gave you a knowing look, the kind that said she’d been through more than she let on. “Sometimes, with people like Rafe, you have to draw a line. Push back when they push too hard.”

You nodded, your fingers curling around the cup in front of you, but you didn’t respond. What could you say? That you knew Rafe’s darker edges better than anyone? That you understood how his secrets ran deeper than he let on, but you thought you’d seen enough of them to know where his limits were?

You excused yourself, leaving Rose in the kitchen as you headed upstairs to his room. It was familiar, the place you’d spent so much time together, but today it felt different. There was something off in the air. Rafe had been distant lately, but you hadn’t pressed him, giving him space to brood, to work out whatever was on his mind.

But today, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

You found yourself in front of his dresser, drawn to it without even thinking. One of the drawers was partially open, and inside, you saw a stack of VHS tapes. Most of them were innocuous—old football games, random recordings of parties, but one caught your eye.

“Rafe & Sofia.” the label read, scrawled in Rafe’s unmistakable handwriting.

Your chest tightened at the sight of his ex’s name, but it wasn’t jealousy that gripped you. It was curiosity. What was he hiding? And why hadn’t he told you about it?

Your fingers moved almost of their own accord, slipping the tape into the player. The screen flickered to life, showing a younger Rafe and Sofia, laughing and carefree on the beach. You could feel the tension knotting in your stomach, but you told yourself it was just a piece of his past. Until the video shifted—suddenly, jarringly intimate.

The camera cut to a bedroom, his bedroom. The footage was raw, unfiltered, and it wasn’t just a casual memory anymore. It was a sextape.

You felt a sickening twist in your gut, your breath catching in your throat. Your heart pounded, not from the act itself, but from the betrayal—the fact that Rafe had kept this, hidden this, and never thought to tell you.

The front door slammed downstairs, and you barely had time to process what you’d seen before Rafe’s footsteps echoed up the stairs.

He walked in, stopping cold when he saw the VHS player running and the tape on the screen. His jaw clenched, and the air between you crackled with tension. “What the hell are you doing?”

You stood up, holding the remote tightly in your hand, your voice sharp but controlled. “I found your tape. Rafe and Sofia’s tape. Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

His face darkened, and he took a step toward you, his posture rigid. “Because it’s not something you needed to know about.”

“Not something I needed to know about?” You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “Rafe, you kept this. You hid this. It’s not about Sofia. It’s about you lying to me.”

He ran a hand through his hair, pacing as frustration bled into his tone. “I didn’t lie. It’s old, Y/N. It’s from another time. It means nothing.”

“Then why keep it?” you fired back, your voice rising. “If it means nothing, why hide it? You didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”

Rafe’s eyes were hard, his jaw clenched as he spoke. “Because I knew you’d make it into something it’s not. I didn’t want this—didn’t want to deal with this.”

Your anger flared, hot and consuming, but you didn’t let it overpower you. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Did you think I wouldn’t care? Do you still watch it, Rafe? Do you still watch her?”

His face twisted, a mix of frustration and something darker. He didn’t answer, and that silence cut deeper than any confession could have.

“Did you...” you took a steadying breath, your voice colder now. “Did you jerk your fucking self off to it?”

For a moment, he didn’t respond. His eyes locked on yours, and the weight of the question hung heavy between you. Then, he took a step closer, his voice low and dangerous. “No. But it doesn’t matter what you believe. You’re already making up your mind.”

You stared at him, the gravity of his words settling in your chest like a stone. “You didn’t think to tell me. That’s the problem, Rafe. It’s not about jealousy. It’s about trust, and you broke that.”

Rafe’s jaw tightened, and his eyes flashed with a mix of anger and desperation. “I didn’t want to lose you. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d walk away.”

You met his gaze, your voice firm. “You know what Rafe, maybe you should’ve thought about that before keeping secrets.”

His hands curled into fists at his sides, and he looked away, breathing heavily. For a long moment, the room was thick with tension, the silence between you louder than words. Then, finally, you spoke again, your voice steady but final. “We’re done, Rafe.”

He froze, his eyes snapping back to yours, dark and intense. “You’re not serious.”

“I am.” Your tone was resolute. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me enough to tell the truth.”

Rafe’s expression hardened, a dangerous edge creeping into his voice. “I’m not going to beg, Y/N. If you want to leave, then leave. But I’m not going to keep you.”

You felt the weight of his words, sharp and cutting, but you didn’t falter. “I’m not asking you to.”

Without another word, you turned and walked out of his room, your chest tight with the finality of it all. You passed Sarah in the hallway, her eyes wide with concern as you stormed past her, but you didn’t stop. You didn’t look back.

In the days that followed, you tried to push the pain away. You were strong, and you wouldn’t let Rafe Cameron be the reason you fell apart. You threw yourself into your own life, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you broken. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the feeling of his eyes on you, the lingering weight of his presence even when he wasn’t around.

He didn’t call, didn’t text, but he was always there. Watching. Waiting.

One night, determined to prove to yourself—and to him—that you were moving on, you went out with a guy you’d been talking to. Ryan was charming, confident, and exactly the distraction you needed. He pulled you close on the dance floor, his hands resting on your hips, his breath warm against your ear as the music pulsed around you.

You knew Rafe was there before you saw him. You could feel his presence, the intensity of his gaze burning into you from across the room. When you finally met his eyes, you saw the fury there, the barely-contained rage simmering beneath the surface.

Ryan leaned down, whispering into your ear. “He’s watching us. Want to make him mad?”

You smirked, leaning into the challenge. “Let him.”

But Rafe wasn’t going to stand by and let it happen. He pushed through the crowd, his jaw clenched, his eyes locked on you with a dangerous intensity. When he reached you, he grabbed your arm, pulling you away from Ryan without a word.

“Let go of me,” you snapped, trying to pull free from his grip.

He didn’t listen. His voice was low and deadly as he growled, “You’re coming with me. Now.”

You jerked your arm out of his grasp, eyes blazing with defiance. “I told you we’re done, Rafe. You don’t get to control me anymore.”

His jaw clenched, the anger swirling in his eyes making him look almost dangerous. But beneath the fury, you could see something else—desperation. He wasn’t just angry; he was terrified of losing you. “I’m not letting you walk away from this,” he bit out, stepping closer, his towering presence casting a shadow over you.

You stood your ground, refusing to be intimidated. “You already did, Rafe. You chose to keep things from me. That’s on you.”

Rafe’s eyes darkened, his breath heavy as he stepped closer until there was barely any space left between you. “You’re really going to throw us away because of one mistakes?”

Your heart twisted painfully, but you didn’t let him see it. “It wasn’t just one mistake. It was a choice. You chose to keep that part of your life hidden from me. If you can’t be honest with me about something like that, then what else are you hiding?”

Rafe stared at you, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths as the tension between you crackled in the air. He ran a hand through his hair, his voice raw as he said, “I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d react like this. I knew it would hurt you, and I didn’t want that.”

You crossed your arms, your voice cold. “You hurt me more by keeping it from me. Don’t you get that?”

His eyes flickered with frustration, and he took another step toward you, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. “I fucked up, okay? I know that. But I don’t want to lose you.”

You clenched your fists, feeling your resolve wavering under the weight of his words. “Rafe, I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep pretending that everything’s fine when it’s not.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The sounds of the club seemed to fade away, leaving only the tense silence between you. Then, in a low, almost broken voice, Rafe whispered, “Do you really want to walk away from this? From us?”

You swallowed hard, your emotions a tangled mess. You wanted to stay strong, to walk away and never look back, but the connection between you was undeniable. You still cared about him, despite everything. But could you trust him again?

Rafe’s hand reached out, his fingers brushing against your cheek, and you felt a shiver run down your spine at the touch. “I’ll do anything to fix this, Y/N. Anything. Just tell me what you want.”

Your eyes met his, and for the first time, you saw the vulnerability in his gaze. He wasn’t just angry or desperate—he was scared. Scared of losing you. Scared of being alone.

“I want honesty,” you said quietly. “I want to know that I can trust you.”

Rafe nodded, his thumb brushing lightly over your skin. “You can. I’ll prove it to you. I swear.”

For a long moment, you just stood there, the weight of his promise hanging between you. Then, finally, you let out a shaky breath and pulled back, stepping away from his touch. “I need time, Rafe.”

His face softened, and he nodded slowly, though you could see the tension still coiled in his body. “I understand. I’ll give you time. But I’m not giving up on everything we had.”

You swallowed hard, not trusting yourself to say anything else. Without another word, you turned and walked out of the club, feeling his eyes on you the entire time.

Days passed, and despite everything, Rafe kept his word. He didn’t press you, didn’t bombard you with calls or texts. But you knew he was still there, watching, waiting for you to come to him.

The quiet between you felt strange, almost like a storm waiting to break. You found yourself thinking about him more than you wanted to, your mind drifting back to his words, his touch, the raw emotion in his eyes. You missed him, but you weren’t ready to admit that just yet.

Then, one night, as you sat alone in your room, your phone buzzed with a text from him.

Rafe: Can we talk? Please.

You stared at the message for a long moment, your heart pounding. Part of you wanted to ignore it, to stay strong and keep your distance. But another part of you—the part that still cared—wanted to see him, to hear him out.

Against your better judgment, you found yourself replying.

You: Come over.

Rafe showed up at your door within minutes, looking more disheveled than you’d ever seen him. His usual cocky confidence was gone, replaced by something raw and unguarded. He stood in front of you, his shoulders tense, his eyes searching yours.

“I didn’t think you’d let me come,” he admitted, his voice quiet.

You crossed your arms, keeping your face neutral. “You said you wanted to talk.”

Rafe nodded, running a hand through his hair, his eyes never leaving yours. “I messed up, Y/N. I know that. I should’ve told you about the tape. I should’ve trusted you.”

You watched him carefully, your heart beating a little faster at the sincerity in his voice. “Why didn’t you?”

He hesitated, his jaw clenching before he finally answered. “Because I was scared. Scared you’d think I wasn’t over her. Scared you’d leave.”

You frowned, your anger flaring up again. “I’m not Sofia, Rafe. You should’ve known I’m not like that.”

He shook his head, his expression pained. “I know you’re not. That’s why I didn’t want to lose you. But by not telling you, I did the exact thing I was so afraid of.”

You took a deep breath, your emotions swirling inside you. “I can’t promise things will go back to the way they were but you’ll have to earn my trust back.”

Rafe stepped closer, his eyes filled with determination. “I’ll earn your trust back. I don’t care how long it takes.”

You felt your resolve crumbling under the weight of his words, but you forced yourself to stay strong. “I can’t do this alone, Rafe. You need to be better. For both of us.”

He nodded, his voice low but firm. “I will. I swear.”

For a long moment, the silence between you stretched on, thick with tension. Then, without thinking, you reached up and touched his cheek, your thumb brushing lightly over his skin.

Rafe exhaled sharply, his eyes closing as he leaned into your touch. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

And in that moment, something inside you softened. Maybe it wasn’t forgiveness yet, but it was a step in the right direction.

Without saying another word, you leaned up and kissed him. The kiss was slow, tentative at first, but it quickly deepened, the fire between you rekindling in an instant. Rafe’s hands gripped your waist, pulling you closer as he kissed you back with a hunger that sent shivers down your spine.

You didn’t pull away this time. You let yourself get lost in him, in the way his body pressed against yours, in the way his hands moved over you like he was afraid to let go. It was desperate and raw, but it was also real.

Rafe’s hands slipped under your shirt, his touch warm against your skin as his fingers trailed up your sides, igniting a spark that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long. You gasped softly into his mouth, your hands gripping the front of his shirt as he pressed his body against yours, backing you up against the wall.

“Y/N…” he breathed against your lips, his voice low and rough, filled with desire.

You met his gaze, your heart pounding in your chest as you whispered back, “I’m still mad at you.”

Rafe’s eyes darkened, his lips ghosting over your neck as he whispered, “I know.”

But in that moment, the anger between you faded, replaced by something else—something neither of you could deny any longer. His lips found yours again, harder this time, more demanding, as he lifted you effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist. You felt the heat between you growing, the connection too strong to ignore.

Rafe carried you to the bed, his movements slow and deliberate as he laid you down, hovering over you with that same intense look in his eyes. “Let me show you how sorry I am,” he whispered, his voice thick with need.

Your breath caught in your throat as his lips trailed down your neck, his hands sliding lower, gripping your thighs as he tugged at your clothes. You arched into his touch, your body responding to every move, every kiss, as he worshiped you with an intensity that left you breathless.

It wasn’t just about the physical connection. It was about the emotions between you—the trust that had been broken, the anger that still lingered, but also the undeniable love and passion that couldn’t be ignored.

As Rafe’s body moved against yours, as his hands roamed over every inch of your skin, you felt the walls between you begin to crumble. The anger, the hurt—it was all still there, but so was the need. The desire. The love.

You gasped as he pressed deeper into you, his forehead resting against yours as he whispered your name, his voice raw and filled with emotion. “I’ll make it right, Y/N. I swear.”

You didn’t have the words to respond. Instead, you kissed him, pouring everything into that kiss—the frustration, the anger, the love, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, things could be different.

That day just you and Rafe moved together in a rhythm that felt both familiar and new, you realized that maybe—just maybe—maybe it was a new beginning.

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [26] - Breaking the Rules

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: Fighting for the crown comes with decisions.

Word Count: 2600

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Warnings: Violence, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship, mentions of sex. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

Growing up as your father’s heir, you had to memorize certain rules.

Honoring the alliances was one of them. No family could survive on its own in this line of work against all the others, and it was a matter of honor not to cross or go behind your allies.

Not putting civilians in danger was another. The business and its deals or disagreements could only affect the people who chose to be in it, civilians were always off limits.

But the most important rule that was drilled into your and every heir’s head?

Never, ever do anything to break the truce.

“Y/N?”

Your head shot up and you tried to smile at Becca. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

No.

No you really weren’t.

What you and Bucky were planning was way too dangerous, which meant that you couldn’t say that to anyone, Becca included.

“Sure!” you said as Leila came back to the table, carrying coffees.

“Thanks babe,” Becca pecked her on the lips and she smiled at her.

“Not a problem!” she said. “So, is there any reason why you look so gloomy, Y/N?”

Shit.

“Gloomy?” you asked with a small laugh. “I don’t look gloomy.”

“Is Ethan being his tortured lover self again?”

“He’s not—” you stopped yourself. “I haven’t talked to him in a while actually.”

“Bucky then?”

“Oh is this about that girl you told me about?” Becca asked. “Anna?”

You blinked a couple of times. “Uh…”

“Anna?” Leila asked and Becca waved a hand in the air.

“This incredibly hot woman Bucky is doing business with.”

“Did I say she was incredibly hot?”

“You said hot and I stalked her,” Becca said helpfully, “She is incredibly hot.”

“Thanks a lot Bec,” you muttered and Leila tilted her head.

“Let me see!”

“I’m not gloomy because of Anna,” you said and paused for a moment. “Although, Bucky does have a meeting with her today.”

“Here,” Becca said, handing her the phone and Leila raised her brows, staring at the screen before licking her lips.

“Maybe she just has a terrible personality.”

“You guys are the best,” you muttered and Becca let out a laugh.

“We’re joking, obviously you’re hotter.”

“For some reason I highly doubt that,” you pointed out and Leila rolled her eyes at you.

“You are,” she said. “But jealousy is less about looks and more about the vibes.”

“I’m not jealous!” you said, your voice going a pitch higher before you cleared your throat. “I wasn’t even thinking about her until you brought her up.”

“Then what—” Becca started but your phone started vibrating on the table, making you grimace when your eyes fell on the caller ID.

“Excuse me for a moment,” you said and grabbed your phone, then walked out of the café to answer it. “Auntie?”

“Y/N hi honey!” her cheerful voice reached you. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

“Nah, I’m just with my friends,” you said and she hummed.

“Well then, clear out your schedule for the afternoon because we’re having an aunt-niece lunch,” she said, making your eyes widen.

“Oh I actually—I had this thing—”

“I already made the reservation, I’ll send you the details,” she cut off your stammering. “See you in two hours!”

With that, she hung up and you threw your head back, letting out a groan.

“Great,” you muttered to yourself. “Just what I needed today.”

                                                       *

Of course your aunt had picked a restaurant in your father’s territory and of course it was already swarming with your father’s people. Unlike you, she had no problem with being followed by bodyguards even if the restaurant seemed to be closed to any other people but you two and the bodyguards, so you tried not to roll your eyes as you sat down, the waitress bringing your food almost immediately. You pulled your brows together and your aunt sat up straighter.

“I ordered for the both of us already,” she said, making you hum.

“Wonderful,” you said. “Thanks.”

“So,” she smiled at you. “I figured today is as good of a day as any to catch up!”

No, today was supposed to be about you having an existential crisis at home, and yet here you were.

“How’s marriage going?”

Jesus Christ.

“It’s going well,” you said curtly before digging into the salad in front of you. “And you? How are you after the break up?”

“Oh,” she waved a dismissive hand. “Let’s not talk about that. Bucky seems like he grew into such a gentleman!”

“Mm hm.”

“And George is happy being retired?”

You thought for a moment, then shrugged your shoulders.

“Bucky is doing a great job,” you said, unaware of the proud tone in your voice. “So yes. He probably does miss being more involved in the business but it’s Bucky’s time now. George knows it.”

“Promising heir turns into successful king, not much of a surprise there,” she commented and you sipped your wine.

“Exactly.”

“And speaking of heirs…” your aunt said, making your eyes shoot up to hers.

Fucking—

Yeah, you had walked right into that.

You knew that everything you said and did, even the smallest reaction would be reported back to either Ian or your father, so you had to keep your calm. Even though anger had started to boil deep inside you, you lowered your wine glass, tilting your head at her.

“Hm?”

“Your father may have mentioned that things between you and him are rather tense lately,” she said. “Especially after him naming Ian as his heir.”

You frowned, feigning confusion before taking your fork into your mouth again.

“I didn’t think they were tense,” you said after swallowing your bite. “Is that what he thinks?”

She paused only for a moment.

“It is,” she said. “And you know how important family is. We don’t always have to see eye to eye, but we do have to support each other.”

“Does father think I won’t support Ian?” you asked silkily and she licked her lips, deep in thought.

“Ian worked really hard to be where he is right now, Y/N,” she said, making you pull your brows together. “I am aware that you might feel some resentment but that position belongs to Ian now. And we as his family must make sure to make his job easier.”

You wanted to laugh at the audacity but managed to keep your expression under control. Of course she supported him, that much wasn’t surprising but—

Ian working for where he was?

He hadn’t even bothered to go through half of the training you had.

“I don’t know why you’re telling me this,” you told her. “It’s father’s job to make Ian’s job easier, he was the one who named him heir. What I think about his decision doesn’t hold any power in this, I’m not in the business—”

“Yes you are.”

You scoffed. “Well, that’s news to me then. Do you know something I don’t?”

She shot you a look.

“You and I both know that some bosses in the city support you to become the heir, not Ian.”

You bit back a smirk and took another sip of your wine.

“Which is normal, outsiders can have different ideas, it’s the family that decides on the heir,” she said. “But Bucky…Bucky is family now.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t control Bucky.”

“Yes you do,” she insisted. “And Bucky doesn’t necessarily like Ian, does he?”

The realization dawned on you in a second; your father hadn’t put your aunt up to this.

Ian had, because he felt threatened by Bucky.

Which in all honesty was a bit insulting, because even with other bosses supporting you to become the heir, he still didn’t think you yourself were a viable threat to him.

You pushed at your salad with your fork, pretending to be nonchalant.

“Strange as it may sound, me and Bucky don’t really spend our time talking about Ian,” you said and your aunt heaved a sigh, then reached out to clasp her hand over yours.

“Honey,” she said. “You know what will happen if a war breaks out.”

“Tell that to Ian, not me,” you said. “He seemed to be very interested in a war the last time we spoke. I know what happens if a war breaks out, does he?”

“He’s still very excited to prove himself,” she said, making you clench your jaw. “So he may come across a bit… wild but he will not start a war.”

“Funny how everyone around him seems to have to make excuses for him.”

“So many people died before the truce,” she insisted. “So many families. I know that your father promised you that position, but you cannot set the whole city on fire just because he changed his mind. Ian is the heir now, you and everyone else need to make your peace with it.”

Anger was pulsing through your veins and you dug your fingernails into your palm, then pushed at your plate and stood up.

“I have this thing, so…”

“Y/N—”

“And for the record, I’m not setting the whole city on fire,” you told her. “Make sure to hear the same thing from Ian, will you? Because from the looks of it, people aren’t that thrilled to do business with him when he’s been foaming at the mouth to start a war.”

With that, you walked out of the restaurant with your bodyguards following you.

                                              *

As much as you hated to admit, your aunt’s words did manage to make you even more restless. You had tried to take a nap but it was no use, and by the time Bucky got home, you had been pacing in the apartment for almost an hour now. He had some blood on him so he had gone straight to the bathroom to take a long shower, and when he came back, he found you by the window, your gaze fixed on the skyline.

“Hey beautiful.”

You looked over your shoulder and tried to smile at him.

“Hey,” you said. “Whose blood was it?”

“Some idiot,” he said. “Not important. Are you okay?”

“How was the meeting with Anna?”

“It was good, everything is going pretty smoothly. Are you okay?”

You turned around to see him better, then nodded your head.

“Sure!” you said. “There’s uh…there’s dinner in the—”

“What’s going on?” he cut you off, stepping closer to you and you heaved a sigh, then shrugged your shoulders.

“Nothing, it’s just…it’s been a long day.”

“I thought you were meeting Becca today.”

“I did,” you said. “Then my aunt asked to have lunch together so that totally ruined my day.”

He raised his brows. “What did she say?”

“Usual bullshit,” you said. “She wants me to support Ian.”

Bucky snorted. “Yeah, that’s gonna happen.”

“And Ian is intimidated by you.”

“Good,” Bucky said. “Does he also know the only reason he’s alive is because of the truce he’s been so excited to break? Someone should let him know.”

“He thinks he’s untouchable, you know that,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “He doesn’t even carry a gun, he’s that sure of himself. Ryan carries his gun for him.”

Bucky threw his head back. “Does he—” he started but was cut off when his phone vibrated on the table. Your heart skipped a beat as he read the text message, then held up the phone.

“So…” he said. “Are we doing this tonight?”

You swallowed thickly, your heartbeat getting faster before you ran a hand over your face.

“Bucky, is this a mistake?”

He tilted his head. “Why would it be a mistake?”

“We’re ordering a hit on a shipment,” you whispered. “That’s breaking the truce.”

“Eh, it’s not like they’ll know who did it.”

“But if they somehow figure it out?” you insisted as you stepped away from him to pace in the room again. “I keep telling myself Ian is the wrong choice, but what does it say about me that I’m willing to risk war? That I’m willing to risk so much bloodshed just to get there?”

“That you have what it takes.”

“Do I?” you asked him. “At that cost? You heard the same thing I did while we were growing up, over and over again. Never break the truce—”

“We’re not breaking the truce,” he assured you. “No one will know it’s us, and even if they did somehow figure it out; your father will kill me on grounds of breaking the truce sweetheart, nothing will happen to you.”

Even the thought of it was enough to send a shiver down your spine.

“Don’t say that,” you murmured, rubbing at your eyes. “Just don’t.”

He shot you a playful smile. “I thought you wanted me dead.”

“If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead,” you grumbled as you approached the window to look outside again. “It just feels…”

“Overwhelming?” he asked you as he came closer before his hands clasped over your shoulders, massaging there, making your eyes flutter close.

“A little,” you admitted and he hummed.

 “Of course it’s overwhelming, we’re pushing you to the top.”

You opened your eyes again, then turned around to look at him better.

“Why are you risking your own life for this?”

“Because I want to see you at the top of the food chain,” he said, then flashed you a smirk. “And on top of me but—”

“Bucky,” you said warningly as if that didn’t make your stomach do a happy flip despite the tension and he chuckled.

“Because unlike what your father seems to think, you’re the right choice for this.”

“And you still think that about me even if I’m putting the truce in danger right now?” you asked and his smile widened.

“You could shoot me right now and I’d still think that, princess.”

You nibbled on your lip, a warmth spreading in your chest before you let out a bitter chuckle.

“We’re both fucked up, you do realize that?”

“I know,” he said. “But fucked up or not, will you be alright when Ian inevitably burns your father’s empire down? The empire that belongs to you?”

You swallowed thickly as he ran his fingertips over your bare arm, awakening fire underneath your skin.

“Stop playing by your father’s rules,” he said, his voice a low murmur. “It’s your game now, you make the rules.”

You pursed your lips together before taking a deep breath, then looked up at him.

“Give the order.”

Bucky smiled at you, then touched the phone’s screen before taking it to his ear.

“Do it,” he said, then hung up, making you let out a breath, your head spinning because of the adrenaline rushing through you. Bucky stepped closer to press a kiss on your temple and you rested your forehead on his chest for a moment, letting his irresistible scent fill your nostrils.

“You’re alright.”

“I’m alright,” you muttered to his chest and pulled back to nod your head as if trying to convince yourself. “I am.”

“You are,” Bucky said, then smiled at you. “So let’s get drinks and dessert, hm? To celebrate your first ever hit order in the business?”

A nervous laughter climbed up your throat. “What?”

“Yeah I’ll even put a candle on the champagne— or on the cake, I haven’t decided yet,” he told you, pulling you by the wrist through the room while you giggled.

“Bucky wait, I need to do my makeup if we’re going out—”

“Less whining more walking princess, come on,” he said and you snatched your coat off the hanger as you walked past it, then followed him out of the apartment, still smiling.

Chapter 27

[henneseyhoe]

Velcro.

Jude Bellingham x BLACK!FEM!Reader

WARNINGS: SMAU, Rude(ish) comments, A bit smutty at the end but nun too serious, Jude being a velcro boyfriend, basketball player!Reader, Touch me not!Reader, Nonchalant(ish)!Reader, Clinginess, fluffy, reader is a bit of a tomboy (but it’s not really implied ig??), Readers sexual preference is questioned a few times lmao.

✮✮✮✮

Ahh, a tale as old as (you*) time if you ask me! It seemed that since you were little, no one could read the sign you mentally placed on your forehead that said DO NOT TOUCH. that included Jude.

100% use to be time limit on how long he can hug you when you two first started dating and he thought he was slick going over a few seconds just to see if you’d notice. 😭

He respects you not wanting to be touched so often but sometimes he genuinely does forget and slips up.

Sometimes you let him get away with it, other times you smack his hand away like you’d do a naughty child.

He’s so touchy that sometimes you don’t even notice until he moves.

“Jude…”

“Hm?” He hums, eyes on the computer screen resting on your stomach that was playing princess and the frog.

“Jude” You call even firmer than before.

“Yes, baby?”

“Your hand, dude…”

His eyes dart to the suspecting hand, his entire palm softly groping your boob under your shirt as if the hand was supposed to be there.

“Oh! Sorry-“

He waits till you’re asleep to cuddle you when you two are finally together again and on break; you wake up with a full grown man nearly on top of you.

You once told him to start asking for kisses instead of just kissing you and you ended up answering more than ten questions in just one evening.

He doesn’t even get jealous of you interacting with other men that may be interested in you because you kinda hate everybody??..💀

He’s also leaving multiple hickeys on your neck so they can see just in case but you had to immediately stop him from doing that before a coach or a teammate saw and bullies you for it.

Hiding the relationship from the public was difficult enough but he quite literally acted like you two were conjoined at the hip at times.

When you soft launched you two’s relationship your friends were in such shock that you even let a man get close enough to you to speak without him being pepper sprayed.

✮✮✮✮

ynusername

Liked by jkeey4 and 567,086 others

do not disturb.

ᴠɪᴇᴡ ᴀʟʟ 2,758 ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ

-

YBSF GIRL WHAAAAT???

❤︎ ʙʏ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ

YBSF2 YOU WIT YO WHOOO??

ynusername You know who i’m with! 😹

USER1 AHHHHHHHHH

❤︎ ʙʏ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ

USER2 WON A RING HER ROOKIE YEAR AND GOT A MAN??? IKTRRR

❤︎ ʙʏ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ

USER3 could have sworn she liked girls—

USER4 Y/N plays basketball so good she got ppl thinking she a lesbian wow

USER5 Lesbian allegations in her first year of playing in the WNBA omg we made it yall!!

USER6 Girl we know who that is

USER7 right, she covering his face like we blind???

ynusername Never tried to hide him lol

USER8 Oh so this is why we aren’t winning any games lol…

USER9 Lost to the fuckin SPARKS bro…

USER10 Is it really that deep?

USER9 YES BITCH!

USER11 I KNOW THAT AINT MY MANNNN

ynusername your whom?

USER12 GAG HER MOTHER LMAO

USER13 NOOOO GET OFF OF HERRR

USER14 IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE US NOT HIM

judebellingham ???????

judebellingham 🤍👩🏾‍🤝‍👨🏽

❤︎ ʙʏ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ

judebellingham I live to breathe the same air as you.

❤︎ ʙʏ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ

USER15 okay tone it down a little jude-

USER16 He’s so- 😭😭😭

USER17 I have a hunch that she’s gonna eat him and use his football talent to gain powers

ynusername My plans have been foiled

USER18 a sports crossover i never expected to see ngl????

USER19 right? 😭

USER20 It’s a pr stunt guys lol

✮✮✮✮

There’s a good bit of people that still don’t think you two are actually together, exhibit A:

He surprisingly ignores all of these comments cause he knows what’s real.(you show em jude!)

Everybody can just tell he bagged you by being absolutely delusional and they were correct.

All those story likes, comments and convincing you that he was cool finally paid off!

Also he was very much so one of those “omg you’re so smallll” type of flirts 💀 and it took you every bone in your body not to kick the back of his knees in.

Now you probably wouldn’t have won that fight but while he was down on the floor you’d have enough time to run for your life.

He’s definitely that boyfriend that walks with his hand in your back pocket.

Has told you multiple times before that not being with you feels like he’s having withdrawals. 😭

Poor baby HATES when you tour but he still roots for you, posting pictures of your team on his story and all. 😖

Sharing location? He has yours on every single device and watches it occasionally when you’re traveling lmfao.

✮

✮

You wouldn’t be surprised if he secretly has a burner account where he claps back at people who come for your game performance.

It wouldnt be the first time he’s said something to critics. 🧍🏽‍♀️

If he can’t make it to a game then best believe he’s watching it on his phone and jumping up every time you get a point of your own. 😭 (we love a supportive wag)

He definitely has one of your jerseys and you absolutely have his.

Because you didn’t like being touched so often, naturally your favorite sexual position was riding. (it was also a great leg workout) You loved that you could be in control of him and how he touched you. If he got too handsy, you weren’t a stranger to pinning his arms down to your mattress and he would practically be too weak to protest against it anyway.

When you did allow him to touch you how he wanted, his favorite position was sideways spooning. A position where he could hold you as much as he wanted, keep you still within his arms and still fuck your brains out while getting his fix of touching you without limit. He basically went feral anytime it happened, the first time he was surprised he could cum that much, all the evidence laid across the dimples of your back (i’m sorry i couldn’t help myself LMAO)

By the time you two were together for over a year, Jude could just feel you softening up for him a little more day by day and he just couldn’t wait till you were as touchy as he was

✮✮✮✮

💌~ I hope yall like this, i wrote it along with this lewis fic that’s kinda the same but also not? 💀 yall will see it soon lmfao

also, give Jude his WNBA gf(me) NOW!! we got league babies to make frl

[larissaloveschenle]

PHONE SEX | Z.CH

“hi my love” Chenle said speaking into the phone, his tired voice after performing for todays concert. “Hi baby, how was the show?” You asked him as you smiled softly behind the screen, knowing he was letting out a smile too from his response, “it was good, i’m so tired though..just tell me about your day, hm?”. You couldn’t help but let out a little giggle before speaking about how your day didn’t go as it was supposed to go.

While you were speaking, you noticed Chenle wasn’t talking as much as he normally would do, yes he would be tired but he’d still show reactions. “Maybe he’s just extra tired today” is what you told yourself, until you paused to let out a frustrating whine at how you were complaining about your boss putting extra work on you. That’s when you heard your boyfriend from the audio call let out a groan, making you pause.

“Are you okay lele?” you ask him as which he responds in a breathy tone, “y-yeah i’m good baby, keep talking for me?” he replied as you knew what he was doing. You knew how to push his limits as you smirked to yourself, letting out another whine as you complained, “he’s just so! ugh I just wanna…ugh lele!” You stretched out his name, whining it out as you heard him groaning louder.

You stayed silent as you listened to your boyfriend stroke his cock, you could hear the sounds as his hands were probably covered in pre cum. “lele baby..” you said to him, hearing him snap as he let out the biggest groan and started stroking himself faster. “f-fuck! keep talking baby i’m near..whine my name” He said in a raspy tone, your thighs rubbing against each other before you slipped your hands in between your pants, rubbing yourself through your panties and letting out small whines.

“lele..need y-you..” You whined out in a breathy tone, hearing Chenle suck his breath in as you heard him move against his sheets. His audio becoming clearer as his phone was rested next to his head, speaking into the phone while rutting into his hand. “ mm yeah? I need you too baby..wish your hand was wrapped around my cock..spitting and stroking it all messily..” Chenle said, his mind taking over him as you slipped two fingers inside, thrusting them in and out as you moaned into the call. “mmgh feels so good sir..” you whimpered, throwing your head back as you heard your boyfriend shuffling.

There he turned on his camera, facing his camera towards his cock as he thrusted into his hand, squeezing around the tip and let out the most pretty sounds. This left you shocked as your fingers moved faster, your moans getting louder as Chenle fucked his hand. “Let me see your pretty face baby..i’m so fucking close..” He demanded, turning the camera around to show his face as his hair was sticking to his forehead, his chest rising up and down, his eyes furrowing as he opened his mouth to let out a groan.

You turned your camera on as you showed him your pretty face, tears falling out and biting down onto your lip with your shirt lifted up, exposing your breast as you made eye contact with him through the phone and whimpered. You swore you saw his arm moving faster as he threw his head back and placed his phone down, “fuck fuck! i’m gonna cum..shit baby!” He groaned out loudly as your fingers moved faster, setting the camera angle to your wet clit, your fingers pushing in and out as you moaned into the background.

Chenle looked down at his phone as he lost his mind, breathing heavily as his hips thrusted into his fist, “gonna breed you when i’m home baby..fill your pussy up with my cum, you want that hm? bet you do fuck..” He groaned even louder as his thrusts became stronger, staring at the view on his phone as he squeezed his cock one last time, throwing his head back and letting out the loudest groan ever. “ oh my f-fucking god princess..” His cum splashing onto his shirt and sheets, he couldn’t stop cumming as for you, you came as soon as you heard him release. Your whines being the loudest he’s ever heard as you both panted heavily, you heard a hangup noise as you saw he hung up, you knew he went to go clean and call you back when he was done.

You heard your phone chime as you saw two messages from Chenle, a photo of his cock leaking cum with his shirt all sticky and his fist still around it. Another photo being his messy hair, his lips bruised from biting it and his eye makeup slowly ruined from tearing up about how good it felt.

•

Chenle : can’t wait to see you tomorrow baby 💙

god you were so excited for when he returns home.

[blue-aconite]

the offside rule || j.h.s

Summary: Jake learns that his girl is crazy about football, but not the kind he expected.

Warnings: jake being a sweetheart, no use of y/n

Word Count: 1.5k

Pairings: Jake Seresin x f!reader

Authors Note: This is inspired by @roosterforme's Sundays Are for the Boys and @teacupsandtopgun's Jake and Flick universe. This is also very self-indulgent and somewhat based on parts of my life.

“What are you doing?” Jake emerged from the bathroom, only to find his girlfriend on the couch, watching what looked like soccer. 

“I’m watching football, what does it look like?” She didn’t take her eyes off the screen as she reached for the beer bottle on the coffee table. 

Jake didn’t know how to respond. He knew what soccer was, he wasn’t an idiot but he never knew that his girl enjoyed the sport. 

“Soccer, baby. It’s called soccer.” 

Jake knew it was the wrong thing to say as she turned around, an unimpressed look on her face. 

“I’m going to forgive you this time. But in the future, for your information, it’s called football. Not your ridiculous term soccer.” She was all business, a sharp edge to her tone that Jake hadn’t really experienced in their relationship so far. 

There was a sparkle in her eyes that told him she wasn’t as serious as her tone suggested though. Jake flopped down on the couch next to her, plucking the beer out of her hands. “Is this MLS?” 

She snorted, rolling her eyes as she looked him up and down. “MLS is a shit league. It only got interesting since Messi signed for Inter Miami and it’s still shit. You know, we call it the retirement league because it’s where all the greats come to wind down and just kick around.” 

“Hey!” Jake protested. “Doesn’t it have a somewhat good reputation?”

She shook her head. “Baby, I love you but you’ve been greatly deceived.” She patted his cheek, opening another beer, seeing as he had stolen hers. 

Jake grumbled, sinking lower into the couch. Granted, his soccer knowledge was limited but he thought that MLS at least was a popular league. 

“What’s this then?” He pointed to the screen where the game was playing. 

His girl clapped excitedly, tossing the cap onto the table. “This is the greatest league in the world. I give you the Premier League.” She dramatically spread her arms, as if showing him something of great importance. 

In a way, Jake guessed that she was. He had no idea she was this passionate about this but he found it endearing that she did. 

“I recognise that, it’s England, yeah?” Jake was 80% certain he was right but he could also be wrong. Like he said, his knowledge of soccer was limited. 

“Yes! PL is played in England and it’s hands down the most popular and watched league. But there’s obviously others as well.” 

He was a bit intrigued and Jake also wanted to know more about something that made his girl this excited. “Others?” 

“Oh, you’ve got La Liga for example, and Ligue 1. And then there’s Serie A and Bundesliga. My dad used to watch a lot of Eredivisie too. He was a lifelong fan of Ajax.” She quieted down a bit at the end, a sad smile on her face as she remembered her dad. 

Jake pressed a kiss to her shoulder, hand finding hers. He gave a supportive squeeze. He understood now why this was so important to her. 

“Did you guys watch a lot together?” He asked as the game seemingly was paused, the players leaving the field. 

“Yeah. He took me to my first game when I was 4. I barely remember it but I remember the feeling. And he coached my team for as long as I played.” 

That surprised Jake. “You used to play?” It wasn’t something that had come up but he guessed it was somewhat of a sore subject. 

“From the age of five til I was fifteen, maybe sixteen,” she paused. “Uh, I quit playing when he got sick. He wanted me to continue but it just wasn’t the same. It was our thing and then all of a sudden he wasn’t there and..” 

Jake pulled her into his arms, lips pressed to her forehead. “Baby, why haven’t you told me about this before? I would have loved to know more about football if I knew it meant this much to you.” 

She smiled when he called it football and Jake counted it as a small victory. “I honestly don’t know. You’re more of an American football fan and I just figured you didn’t care about this.” 

“I would have cared if you told me. Hell, I know you don’t really care about the Cowboys but you still hang out with me when they play. And wear the jersey.” 

She laughed then, leaning back from his embrace but kept their hands intertwined. “I wear the jersey because I know it gets you all hot and bothered.”

“Well, that’s definitely a perk. You do look very good in blue.” Jake kissed her then, hands sneaking under her shirt to trace her skin. 

She was blushing when they pulled apart and Jake grinned, proud to be the one to make her that way. 

“So is Ajax your team?” He asked, playing with the hem of her shirt. 

“No. As much as I respect and enjoy Dutch football, the Premier League always called to me more. And then I fell in love with Manchester United.” 

Jake’s eyebrows shot up, teasingly pinching her sides. “Fell in love, huh? That means I got competition?” 

She rolled her eyes, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you for the Red Devils.” 

“Good. Is this them then?” He gestured towards the screen, where the game had resumed. 

“No, they play Aston Villa tomorrow. This is Newcastle vs Arsenal.” 

Jake watched as the team in black and white kicked the ball back and forth. “Okay, you’re going to have to explain this to me. I know nothing.” 

She launched into the game, explaining what was happening as well as informing him about the rules and terms. Jake tried his best to keep up but figured he was going to have to do some independent studying to catch up. 

If this was important to his girl, it was important to him. He watched as she kept on talking, gesturing back and forth with her hands, eyes alight with excitement. 

“But there must be leagues outside of Europe, yeah?” He asked after learning that the ones she had rambled off earlier were all based in European countries. 

“For sure, but those are the most popular ones. And considering how much of an impact the Champions League, Europa League and Conference League have, it’s difficult for leagues outside of Europe to compete.” 

Jake’s mind was reeling, trying to piece all the information together. “Wait, Europa League and Champions League? Conference? Where’s that?” 

“All of those are played by teams in Europe. You qualify for UCL when you win your league in your country, and the second tier goes on to play in the UEL and third tier in UECL.” At Jake’s confused expression, she smiled apologetically. 

“Sorry, this is way overboard. How about we keep that for another day and we just keep to the basics for now?” 

Jake breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes please.”

She handed him another beer, smiling softly. 

“So, do I get a Manchester United jersey? It’s only fair, I got you a Cowboys one.” Jake asked. 

He was comfortably leaning back against the armrest of the couch. Initially he had tried to get her to snuggle with him but quickly found out that she wasn’t going to sit still while watching the game. 

“Babe, you’ll get a jersey when you deserve one. Maybe earlier if you can explain the offside rule to me.”  

He was screwed then. “Never mind. I’ll wait.” 

“It’s really not that difficult. A player would be seen as offside if their entire body is in front of the last defender of the opposing team, on the opposing team's half.” 

Jake tried to imagine what it would look like but his mind came up blank. “You’re just speaking gibberish, that doesn’t make sense.”

She smiled softly, a gleam in her eye. “Don’t worry, I’ll make you a football fan. Just you wait.”

“I can’t wait. I’m also very excited to see you watch your team play.” 

The game was now over and she climbed into his lap, hands finding the back of his head. “Oh, you’re in for a wild ride.” 

Making the most of their position, Jake grabbed a hold of her thighs as he stood up, ignoring her squeal as he headed towards the bedroom. “How about I give you a ride right now?” 

Two months later, when Jake officially got the offside rule right, a package was waiting for him on the kitchen table when he got home. 

His heart swelled as he pulled out a bright red Manchester United jersey, embroidered with his callsign on the back. There was a note inside the box as well and Jake laughed as he read what his girlfriend had written. 

Now you’re a real football fan. Glory glory Man United! 

Ps. Come find me ;) 

“You’re playing a dangerous game, sweetheart.” He called, jersey in hand as he stalked the house. 

Her laughter echoed through the house. “Come claim your prize, cowboy.”

Taglist: @wildbornsiren​ @ryebecca @imjess-themess @reels-and-wheels @antiquitea @writercole @hederasgarden @yanna-banana @bobfloydsbabe @hollandorks @anniesocsandgeneralstore @ereardon @luminousnotmatter @roosterscock @thedroneranger @fandomxpreferences @honkytonk-hangman @princessmisery666 @bradshawsbitch​ @a-reader-and-a-writer @green-socks @angstybluejay @seresinhangmanjake @ayorooster​@notroosterbradshaw​ @indynerdgirl @gigisimsonmars @girl-in-the-chairs-void @bradshawbabes @unhinged-btch @horseshoegirl @sadpetalsstuff @bradshawbaby @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @ummjustfics​ @septemberrie​ @somenamewithepineapple​ @seresinsweetie​​ @crescentwolf​ @seresinhangmanjake​ @waklman​ @roosterforme​ @rosiahills22​ @dempy​ @i0veless​ @ilovewriting06​ @kmc1989​ @demxters @amortentiadrops @teacupsandtopgun @hangmanscoming @hangmanssunnies

[ugh-yoongi]

the very last thing i decide | pjm

(or, the one in which a love exists that's easy and instinctual as much as it is painful and self-destructive.)

✘ PAIRING jimin x f. reader ✘ SUMMARY you learn what it means to love with blood on your hands. ✘ GENRE hitman/assassin au; angst, smut ✘ RATING explicit. minors dni. ✘ WARNINGS they are both hitmen (hitpeople?) so there's all the content that goes along with that: violence, death, mentions of blood (a lot) and weapons, murder, but no explicit gore. everyone is morally grey at best and downright psychotic at worst (especially yoongi). reader gets stabbed. no one knows how to be a functional human being. swearing, smoking, light smut (penetrative & oral sex), miscommunication and unrequited love but not really, i drop a classic tumblr meme in a line of dialogue. ambiguous/hopeful ending!! some of the themes here are kinda heavy and i am not entirely sure how to tag them so if you have any questions pls don’t hesitate to ask! ✘ WORDCOUNT 12k ✘ LISTEN TO manchester orchestra - telepath ✘ THANK YOU i cannot remember everyone i’ve showed this to over the years. @the-boy-meets-evil for looking this over and brainstorming with me today. @hot-soop for always being a help. @effortandmore because you told me an embarrassingly long time ago this was worth finishing. and i’m pretty sure i also sent this to @jihopesjoint at some point too. i did a quick edit of this on my own, but after nearly three years i just wanted it posted and out of my wips so i'm sure i missed things. pls ignore them. ✘ AUTHOR'S NOTE fic drops two days in a row?? who am i?? i started this in may 2021 and it was supposed to be a simple pegging fic. i abandoned it bc i was convinced no one would want to read it. between today and yesterday i have written thousands of words and made it across the finish line. i hope you like it. the violence is a metaphor for love or whatever.

[37.5665° N, 126.9780° E | Seoul, SOUTH KOREA]

Jimin’s hair had been red the first time he met you.

How fitting, he thinks, considering he’s currently bleeding out on a table.

Well, there’s still a bit of fight left in him. He hasn’t lost consciousness yet, which he assumes is a good sign; he can still hear Hoseok barking out orders quite clearly. The edges of his vision are fuzzy and the pain in his abdomen is sharp and unrelenting, but he still has enough brain power left to wish he’d died instead.

Because you’d saved his life. And now he’s further indebted to you.

(Jimin never leaves a debt unpaid, but he’s not sure how to make even on something like this.)

Jungkook and Taehyung are fetching supplies faster than Hoseok can ask for them. Two pairs of frazzled, spaced-out eyes. Four sets of trembling limbs. Namjoon’s wearing burn marks into the floor, his cuticles bloody and nearly worried to the bone since he can’t keep them out of his mouth.

And then there’s you.

Sitting cross-legged in a chair as you scroll through your phone. Jimin’s blood is still drying on your hands, leaving smears as you drag your thumb back and forth across the screen, and this doesn’t seem to faze you one bit.

Behind you, Yoongi takes a seat at the piano and starts playing Toccata and Fugue in D minor, and Jimin simply cannot die like this. He can’t die on a wooden table in a room with a piano on which Min Yoongi is playing Baroque organ pieces.

“What is this, a fucking funeral?” Hoseok snaps, though there’s a desperation creeping into his tone that Jimin does not like, does not want to hear. “Cut it out, Yoongi.”

Said man staunchly ignores the doctor, transitioning flawlessly into the fugue. Jimin barely hears the tinkle of your laughter but he hears it all the same, and he wants to pretend it doesn’t calm him, bring him back down to earth when he starts drifting too far away. But you do, and it does, and all he can think about is: will you miss him if he dies? Will it take you long to wash his blood from your hands?

Hoseok’s absolutely incensed, pushed to the limits of his stress at the thought of not being able to save Jimin’s life, and Jimin appreciates this, really, but not when Hoseok pushes two gloved fingers deep into the wound in his stomach so hard all he can do is cry. “Yoongi—”

You snort. You don’t even look up from your phone.

Namjoon, for all his leadership and stoicism and poise under pressure, is just as frantic and panicked as the rest. It’s not everyday one of his people is inches from death ten feet away from him. Most people usually die in the shadows. Kim Namjoon has faced down death more times than most, yet watching the life slowly fade from Jimin’s eyes is too much even for him. “Yoongi, please—”

But the fugue keeps going, tempo change after tempo change, the two pillars of this organization spiraling completely by the time the coda starts, unfocused and sweating and praying. To gods they don’t believe in, to hope, to chance—whatever and whoever might be listening. Jimin usually loves hearing Yoongi play. It’s the only thing that humanizes him, and Jimin had spent so many restless nights shoulder to shoulder with him on that exact bench in the blue hours of the early morning, hypnotized by the way the older man’s knobby fingers moved across the keys.

This is it, he thinks.

Jimin’s going to die with Toccata and Fugue in D minor playing in the background.

He’s imagined his death so many times. Stupid not to in this line of work. Violent, quick and painless, in his sleep, drawn out and gory, a message. And in all of those scenarios, it’s either jarringly silent or there’s someone screaming. Usually him, sounding much like he is now, two fingers stuck in his gut. In all of those scenarios, Min Yoongi is never playing Bach as everything fades to black.

You sigh. “Shut the fuck up, Yoongi,” you say, your tone as blasé and inconvenienced as ever.

Shocked at your audacity, one of Yoongi’s fingers slips and hits the wrong key, something dissonant and metallic as it rings out. But the music stops all the same, the silence nearly giving Jimin whiplash. Now he can hear the clinkof Hoseok’s tools, the squelching of his wound, Jungkook’s desperate pleading for him to just be alright, please God, just hang on. He wants the music back. He doesn’t want Jungkook’s crying to be the last thing he hears. Doesn’t want the sound of his own organs imprinted into his memory.

“What’d you say?” Yoongi asks, because no one talks to him that way. They wouldn’t dare. Most people try not to talk to him at all.

But you do.

And, inexplicably, Yoongi listens.

You roll your eyes. “You go deaf in your old age? I said shut the fuck up. Hoseok’s two knuckles deep in Jimin’s fucking stomach and you’re over there having your little Amadeus moment.”

He bristles. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” Yoongi repeats, and Jimin can’t see him, but he knows his eyes are narrowed, lips pulled back in a snarl, fists clenched at his side.

“Oh, princess,” you coo, and Yoongi’s fury is palpable, permeates every inch of this place, overrides all the fear and anguish. “I’m talking to you, baby. I know Jiminie’s busy trying not to die and that’s stressful for all of us, but please do try to keep up.”

Jimin hears the flick of Yoongi’s switchblade. Then he hears him say, “Please let me fucking kill her,” in that lazy Daegu drawl of his, like forming full words are beneath him. Not worth the effort when they’re directed at you.

Still seated, you uncross your legs and, through blurred vision, Jimin watches you grab Yoongi by his belt loops to tug him closer, grab the wrist that holds his knife and press it to your own throat. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Yoongi. Be a good boy and make it hurt.”

Jungkook’s near hysterics at Jimin’s side. “What the fuck is wrong with you two? He’s dying!”

Jimin tries to say I’m not, Kookie, I’m okay but the pressure on his abdomen is too intense. He can barely breathe, and Hoseok’s still digging around, still looking for that stupid fucking bullet, had to do something and do it quick so there’d been very little anesthetic and finesse, and he’s silently screaming for someone to just comfort Jungkook, tell him everything’s going to be okay, but instead—

“Serves him right for being a fucking idiot,” you say, words muffled by the knife still pressed to your throat. “What a painful, permanentlesson in not forgetting your fucking vest.”

“Stop it!” Jungkook sobs, fingers ghosting along Jimin’s matted fringe.

Yoongi’s still scowling. “Just say the word, Joon-ah. I’ll make it quick.”

You actually laugh at that. The kind of full-belly laugh Jimin would kill to be able to produce. “You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.”

Someone snarls. Probably Yoongi. “You’d look so good gutted on the floor like a fish,” he replies, and if Jimin knows him at all, he knows he’s got that dreamy, faraway look in his eyes. The one he always gets when he’s about to kill—the one that makes him so unhinged and dangerous. “Left there to bleed out and die all alone like the trash you are.”

No one’s survived that look before, but you just grin, as if being on the receiving end of it is nothing more than another simple inconvenience. “Do it, then,” you prompt. “You’re so big and bad, yet here you are, waiting for Namjoon’s permission like some kind of pathetic fucking dog.”

“I’m no one’s dog.”

Your eyes slowly flick over to Namjoon. “No?” you ask, smile widening as Jimin watches you drag your heeled foot up the inside of Yoongi’s calf, his thigh, stiletto coming to rest in the center of his sternum. “That’s a shame, princess. That pretty neck of yours was just made for a collar.”

There’s no doubt in Jimin’s mind now that he actually died back in that penthouse and is now residing in whatever level of hell is watching you give his associate a semi despite him being a millisecond away from murdering you.

Yoongi would do it, too. No hesitation. You’ve been on his shit list for as long as Jimin can remember, and you’ve been daring him to put his money where his mouth is and just kill you already for just as long.

Taehyung groans. “Can you two just fuck already so the rest of us can be spared of this?”

You click your tongue, tone melting like butter. You’re fond of Taehyung, soft on him. “No can do, angel. Yoongi here knows I only have eyes for our Jiminie, and god does that hurt his little feelings.”

Your wicked smile gives away nothing—whether you’re telling a bold truth or just unnecessarily needling Yoongi further—but Jimin’s caught off guard and chokes on your words nonetheless.

Hoseok’s forceps still digging around in his stomach, there’s a quiet hurrah of triumph as he finally locates the bullet. Jimin feels nothing as he retrieves it and plucks it out, a reverberated clank! as he drops it into a kidney dish, your words the anesthetic he’s needed as they play on a loop in his head.

When he finally blacks out, either from the pain or the adrenaline or both, it’s your face that greets him. He never gets the chance to tell you why he forgot his vest.

[64.1466° N, 21.9426° W | Reykjavík, ICELAND]

Jimin’s hair is blue when it happens the first time.

It’s November. Namjoon has sent the two of you to Reykjavik and it’s dark all the time, the midnight hue of his hair blending into the impenetrable nighttime that surrounds you. Jimin works best like this—out of sight, part of the shadows. He’s light on his feet, lithe in ways no one else is, not even you, and he’s impossible to anticipate under the cover of darkness.

That’s why Jimin always takes care of the appetizers.

It’s your job to clean up the main course.

The two of you are two halves of the same lethal coin, working together flawlessly after years of carefully honed practice. Jimin slams an unsuspecting man’s head into a wall and you’re right behind him to put a bullet in it.

It’s just how it goes.

And he trusts you. He has to, otherwise he would’ve gotten taken out years ago. You’re not always in his line of sight, but he always feels you, senses your movements before you’re even on your feet. The times it’s gone wrong—and it’s gone wrong so many fucking times, despite how cautious and skilled the two of you are—you’re always right there to catch him before he even hits the ground. Just like a ghost, as if your only purpose in life is keeping Jimin safe and alive.

(It isn’t, but it sure feels that way.)

Tonight it’s another hit carried out in an overpriced penthouse overlooking the northern shore. You’re in and out, don’t waste a second more than you need to. Jimin doesn’t spare a glance at the carnage left behind. Nothing he hasn’t seen a hundred times before. All blood bleeds the same, but he still wonders, foolishly, if his looks different to you. If it feels wrong when it stains your hands and seeps into your clothes.

Jimin has never been covered in your blood before, but he likes to think it would.

The two of you don’t speak until you’re in the quiet safety of yet another hotel room, chain lock thrown across the door, deadbolt secured. A small arsenal of weapons is retrieved from ankles and waistbands and cleaned and packed away meticulously. Jimin’s the one who makes the call to Namjoon, tells him in code that the job’s done. You’ve barely broken a sweat, but under the fluorescent light of the bathroom, Jimin can see a small smattering of blood just along your temple when he closes the distance between you.

Someone else’s, of course.

Anyone who made you bleed your own blood wouldn’t be a quick, clean kill. Jimin would make sure of that.

There’s less to be done about the half-inch scar in the hollow of your throat—a pearlescent reminder of the twin scar he has just below his navel; a callback to the day your devilish mouth said the words Jimin can’t stop thinking about.

“No can do, angel. Yoongi here knows I only have eyes for our Jiminie.”

Maybe it’s stupidity. Maybe it’s the feral, years-long build up that’s been simmering between the two of you—low enough to keep warm, contained enough to never evolve into a rapid boil. Maybe Jimin’s just finally desperate enough to go seeking out answers to questions he’s far too scared to put a voice to.

(Really, Jimin knows it’s adrenaline. Nothing more than chemicals. The two of you high on it, heads floating above the clouds. Powerless; or, at the very least, indifferent to stop the very clear path that’s unfolding on the ground below.)

But, god, he needs to know.

Needs answers.

Needs to know if there’s even a chance you feel it, too: the magnetic ebb and flow the two of you have been dancing around for years. If you see how fondly he looks at you. If you have any idea how easy it is for him to get lost in you. If you know he’d let someone put a bullet between his eyes before he placed his life in the hands of anyone else.

Jimin knows he loves you. He’s known it for a long time, just like he knows all those other things that are second nature to him. Loving you is easy and instinctual as much as it is painful and self-destructive.

At least that’s what he’d thought. Until your devilish mouth said those devilish words and sent him into a tailspin he’s yet to recover from.

You have to feel it. God, can’t you? The way the air crackles between you. The way his skin ignites with a simple look from you. The trembling of his fingers at his sides, desperate to just reach out and touch you—fingers that have been bathed in blood, that have taken life. Fingers that now just want to graze softly across your cheekbones, catch on your bottom lip. Fingers that want to hand you the world on a silver platter. Jimin would do anything for you, give you whatever you wanted. You wouldn’t even have to ask.

Can’t you feel that?

He needs to know.

Jimin is composed, elegant. He kills with grace and still maintains as much of his softness as he can. Isn’t ruled by emotion the way Yoongi and Jungkook are. But now, as he teeters on the edge of the unknown, all he wants to do is jump. Wants to buck all his training, all his resolve and forethought, and jump.

“Did you mean it?” he asks, voice thick. Fingers curl into the expensive silk of his shirt just so they have something to do—something to keep them from reaching out and touching you. “Back in Seoul.”

You’re the smartest person Jimin knows. When you ask, “Did I mean what, Chim?” he knows you’re fucking with him. Dragging this out. You know exactly what he’s asking and he knows you’ll never give anything away so easily.

“What you said to Taehyung,” he answers.

You tsk, eyebrows raising in intrigue. As much as Jimin trusts you, as well as you know him, know all those dirty, dirty secrets he’d never tell anyone else, he’s never been so bold with you. “That those long fingers of his would look good wrapped around my throat? Yeah, I meant that.”

Jimin’s jaw clenches at your taunt. “Don’t play games with me.”

A smirk graces your lips. “Trust me, sweetheart,” you say, voice sickly-sweet as the affection starts popping at the last seams holding him together, “if I wanted to play with you, there’s nothing you could do to stop it.”

With Jimin pressed into the wall behind you, you turn to meet his eye in the mirror. Another smile, teeth bared as you run your tongue across your lips, and this one is his undoing. Makes his cock twitch in his dress pants. Makes him bold. “Do you want to, then?” He takes a step forward—close enough to smell the gunpowder stuck to your clothes, your hair. Close enough for the sulfur and metal to sting his nostrils each time he breathes you in. “Do you want to play with me?”

You love Jimin. Maybe it’s a trauma bond or the implicit, unwavering trust the two of you have in one another, but you know you love him limitlessly. But you also know you can’t love him the way he loves you, the way he deserves to be loved by someone, which is why your mask slips as you say, “I can’t give you what you want, Jimin.”

You try to make him understand that. Really, you do—because Jimin is the smartest person you know, and you know he’s thought about every possible consequence down to the most minute detail and has decided this is worth it anyway. You want to believe in something the way Jimin believes in you, even though he’s wrong. You want something worth throwing all of this away for.

Maybe it’s Jimin, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just been so fucking long since someone has looked at you with any gentleness in their eyes at all that when Jimin meets your gaze and says, “I don’t want anything more than you’re willing to give,” you take his hand and jump, too.

And there’s nothing gentle about the first time.

It’s all raw, urgent need, Jimin trying desperately to convince himself it’s more than it is while you convince yourself it’s less.

It’s the two of you finally giving up and giving in, letting yourselves be pulled taut by that invisible string tying you together.

It’s Jimin’s sharp intake of breath when you fully step out of your clothes, the sight rendering him immobile. Whatever plans he’d had before seeing the curves of your body, all the scars from years of working by his side, the mottled yellow-greens and purples from the bruises lining your skin—he has no plans now. Can barely think. Wouldn’t be able to tear his eyes away from you with a gun to his head.

It’s the final bricks of the wall he’d built around himself—around his heart, around all those words and feelings he’d never put a voice to—crumbling into ash at his feet. Now he knows he can’t go back. Can’t return to a reality where this isn’t his truth. Where there’s no you and him, him and you. Where it’s just a physical exchange, a give-and-take, tit for tat.

And god, he knows he shouldn’t think like this; knows he’s keeping the truth buried somewhere deep behind lock and key.

…But now that he knows how it feels to move inside you, what else is he supposed to do?

You’re everywhere. Clenched around him. Your taste on his tongue. The feel of you on the pads of his fingers. The smell of you making a mockery of all logical thought. No—no, he can’t do a goddamn thing to stop the avalanche now it’s started.

“Fuck,” he whines, fingers digging into your hips. The soft skin he finds purchase in such a contrast from your hardened exterior, but Jimin knows. He knows you, knows the person behind the mask, sees straight through you each time it slips.

What stared back at him had always been just out of reach.

Taunting him.

Screaming come and get me, come make me yours, come and fucking take what you want.

Until now.

Now it’s tangible. Now it’s breathy, fractured moans that echo off tile walls. Now it’s the sound of his name thatleaves your lips like a prayer. Now it’s the sheen of sweat that covers both of you. Now it’s nails scraping down his back, tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck.

(And Jimin won’t tell you this, but those red welts are proof that this is real, this happened, and later on when he’s alone, when his mind is working overtime, he’ll look at them and he’ll smile. Because they’re real. Because this happened.)

Now, it’s the way blue becomes his favorite color. Because he can see his reflection in the mirror as he unravels and comes to his own demise as he spills inside of you; can see the fluorescent lights reflecting off the hue of his hair.

Jimin’s hair is blue when he realizes he’s in love with you.

[34.6037° S, 58.3816° W | Buenos Aires, ARGENTINA]

Jimin is blond when Namjoon sends you to South America.

The details had been scarce: a diplomatic advisor with a rap sheet of human rights violations that have been continuously swept under the rug and his equally-corrupt lawyer. A candid photograph paperclipped to another manila folder, Namjoon a fan of all those old cliches. Likes being a little cheeky that way when he can get away with it, because god knows he can’t get away with much, doesn’t have much of a sense of humor.

It’s a simple job. You and Jimin will have it dealt with in a matter of hours. Less if you’re lucky and the universe is agreeable. But the humidity sticks to your skin, has sweat seeping into your clothes and rolling down your temples, and if there’s one thing you can’t stand it’s the heat. Makes it hard to think. And Namjoon—Namjoon, who makes sure all of his agents want for nothing—is a cheap bastard. Rarely approves nice lodging, says it’s too risky despite your arguments to the contrary, that people don’t care what you do when you have money, so you’re stuck in some shithole motel room with an aircon unit that keeps blowing out stale, warm air.

And maybe you shouldn’t, maybe you should be more cognizant of Jimin and all his feelings, but it’s fucking hot, so you peel your shirt over your head and undo the button of your pants. Sit on the edge of the bed and try to think about anything other than the temperature, how it’s starting to prick uncomfortably at your skin.

Jimin clears his throat, keeps his eyes glued to the disgusting carpet. “Got a text from Seokjin-ssi,” he says, words strained. “Looks like they’ll be solo jobs.”

You groan. Leave it to Seokjin to change the plan at the last minute. “Tell Kim Seokjin he’s a useless piece of shit.”

“Done. Anything else?”

“Tell Kim Namjoon if he ever sends us to South America in the summer again I’ll kill him myself.”

Jimin has a laugh like an anodyne. A laugh that takes all those broken, bleeding parts of you and soothes over them like a balm. “Seokjin-ssi says he’s not passing along that particular message.”

“Tell him he’s a bitch, then.”

“He’ll kill me if I say that.”

“He hasn’t done field work in years and he’s probably too vitamin D deficient to leave the basement. He couldn’t even kill a fucking rat.”

There’s another laugh. More forced, less tinkling. You recognize it right away, the sound of anxiety. Solo jobs aren’t common for the two of you. For Yoongi and Taehyung, sure, but not you and Jimin. You’re a team for a reason, and though you’re more than capable of getting this done and out of the way, it doesn’t feel right. Settles in your gut like something rotten, knowing you’ll be without Jimin.

And you know he’s thinking it, too. How he turns the burner over and over in his hands, as if there’s some combination of words he can send back to Seoul to get Seokjin and Namjoon to reconsider. Plans don’t change often; not like this, anyway. These have been declared solos for a reason, and that’s a thought you can’t linger on too long.

“Are they leaving it up to us?” Jimin nods, still not meeting your eye. “Do you have a preference?”

He shrugs, tossing the phone on the small table in the corner. Nothing else to be done. “Not really. What do you think?”

“Nah, don’t care, either. Just toss me one.”

Santiago Aguirre… 47 years old… Resides in a high-rise luxury apartment in Retiro…

Your eyes skim the file, study the black and white photograph of the lawyer. Read over the list of all his high-profile, degenerate clients and all their high-profile crimes. You read about the previous attempts on his life, the seemingly never-ending list of people who want him dead. Your eyes go back to his photograph, frowning at the smug look on his face. What stares back at you is a man who thinks he’s invincible, who thinks a penthouse apartment on the top floor and a security team in the lobby means he’s impervious to harm. A man who has made money off people just like him: dirty, corrupt, hands stained red.

“Okay?” Jimin asks, looking up from his own file.

He’s so striking. So safe. And you know what he’s done, giving you the hit he thinks is easier, willing to risk himself on a solo mission to ensure you make it out. There’s no guarantees in this line of work, in life in general, but Jimin’s brand of selfless love is certainly one.

So you just nod, knowing someone slimy like this can quickly go sideways, and decide you can do the same.

“I’m gonna get ready,” you say. “The plan is the same as all the other solo jobs. Get in, get it done, get out as quickly as possible. Lay low. Don’t come straight back here.”

Jimin rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “Anything else?”

You exhale. Try to quiet the nerves roiling in your stomach. Barely resist the urge to press a lingering kiss to Jimin’s forehead before you swallow hard and say, “Yeah. Stay alive.”

It comes out more like a plea.

—

You’re good at your job.

Rarely feel much guilt over it, either, which—well, you’re not sure what that means. That something is permanently broken in your psyche, probably. Being able to take life so easily and without remorse. It’s not natural.

Kim Namjoon is a man who plays God, is the one who decides who gets to live and who has to die. His word is the only law you adhere to. And that’s… that’s something. Makes it less burdensome, takes some weight off, because Kim Namjoon wouldn’t accept a morally-ambiguous job. He wouldn’t ask you to put your life on the line for some petty bullshit.

This is how you’ve lived for the last four years. Four years of blindly following Namjoon’s word, of being a good little soldier and doing whatever is asked of you. Four years of being responsible for not only your own life, but Jimin’s as well, just as he is for yours. Four years that have served you well, all things considered.

Until now.

Something about this job hits you hard. Doesn’t settle quite as quickly as the ones that have come before. For the first time, you’d looked down at the lifeless body at your feet and couldn’t stop the trembling, could barely quell the nausea. Thought what the fuck am I doing, what kind of life is this for the first time. Thought back to that day four years ago when Kim Namjoon saved your life and offered you a job and wondered, for the first time, what would’ve happened if you’d said no.

Now, as you suck on a cigarette, legs dangling off the roof of a building looking not far from collapse, a new thought:

Would Namjoon let you go if you asked?

He’s taken care of you. For four years you’ve wanted for nothing. Have socked away more money than you’ll ever be able to spend, even if you live to a thousand. You could go anywhere, become anyone, and no one would suspect a thing. There’d just be you and a million lifetimes’ worth of transgressions, alone under the weight of all that burden; alone, except for all the ghosts that come to greet you every time you close your eyes.

Doesn’t matter. Namjoon might be willing to let you go, give you the chance to salvage something from this life in the name of normalcy, but Yoongi would gladly put a bullet in your head before he let you disappear with all his secrets.

Doesn’t matter.

You stub out the cigarette and put the butt in your pocket. Make your way down to the street. Stay under the shadows—just visible enough to redirect any suspicion shot your way. You pretend to take a call, flawless Argentinian Spanish falling from your lips as you tell the imaginary person on the other end all about your fucked up day at work. How your manager never gets off your ass, doesn’t trust you, thinks you’re too fucking stupid to run a simple executable.

No one spares you a second glance.

Not here, on this nondescript street in a nondescript Argentinian neighborhood, and not when you stumble into the tiny lobby of your shithole motel. The poor kid behind the desk doesn’t even glance up, just mutters a good evening, miss under his breath that you return in a voice far too high-pitched to be your own.

Better to be seen and be unremarkable than draw attention to yourself trying to stay invisible, you figure.

The cameras in the stairwell are broken so you take the steps two at a time. Pull the room key from its place inside your boot, happy to no longer have it digging into your skin. Pause just long enough to make sure you don’t hear anything on the other side of the door before you’re unlocking it with your free hand wrapped around the trigger of your gun.

It’s empty.

Of course it is.

Jimin stashed the burner in a place no one but you would think to look. You text one simple word to Seokjin—Hey!—and you get two in return: Who’s this?

You know who it is, you fucking dickhead.

It takes a few seconds, but the reply is a simple—

Sorry.

Then you toss aside the phone and float in the darkness of the room. There’s nothing to do but wait, because you don’t dare to do anything alone. There’s sweat and blood and fuck knows what else stuck to your skin, your hair, but you can’t risk taking a shower. Can’t risk the water dampening your senses. Can’t risk being cornered in a moldy bathroom, only one way out. Can’t risk doing anything alone. Can’t take a fucking shower.

It’s this thought, more than anything else, that has your body flushing with rage.

What kind of life is this?

Namjoon had never mentioned repaying your debt. He’d never insinuated you owed him anything at all for saving your life, but you know something like that never comes for free. Namjoon doesn’t do anything just because. Has no goodness in his heart to do anything in the name of it. Watching Jimin nearly die in front of him had been the exception to his usual nature; a rare slip-up by an otherwise detached, uncaring man.

Still, whatever you owe him has surely been repaid by now. Tenfold, if the bloodstains along your collar are anything to go by.

It’s time for Namjoon to let you go.

—

Something is wrong.

Two hours have ticked by and there’s no word from Jimin. No word from Namjoon or Seokjin, either, which is the only reason you’re still in this nauseating motel room and not out on the streets searching for him. Solo jobs don’t go like this. The two of you are always in and out, tragically efficient. Back to where you started and then back on a plane, nothing left behind except a singular bullet hole and another fragmented piece of your conscience.

You’ve had a lot of jobs go wrong, but never two hours.

You’re about three minutes from coming out of your skin. Sick to your stomach with worry, anxiety weighing you down like an anchor. You wouldn’t be able to go out searching for Jimin like this even if you could, and there’s no point in dwelling on that, examining it further. All you can do is wait.

It’s another hour before you hear the click of the lock. You’re nearly on your knees in relief, but you stay rooted to the flimsy mattress. Try not to think about how you’ll have to sleep on it, even though you’ll be up half the night with residual worry. All those lingering ghosts.

Jimin doesn’t say anything, so neither do you.

[55.6761° N, 12.5683° E | Copenhagen, DENMARK]

Jimin’s hair is orange when you go to Copenhagen.

Not for a job, just to breathe. You wanted to see the city at Christmastime; Jimin’s never been.

You crack a joke. Point out buildings of similar color, have him stand in front of one as you take a picture. Everyone smiles when they pass the two of you on the street, Jimin’s eyes fond even though he rolls them as you pose him how you want. Still stands against an apricot-colored wall and flashes a smile and a peace sign, cheeks pink from the cold. Does a good job of pretending the two of you aren’t here just for fun, that this is something more.

It’s not.

The two of you fucked in a hotel room in Reykjavik and haven’t spoken a word of it since.

You nearly lost your mind over him in Buenos Aires and haven’t spoken a word of that, either.

Instead, his hand finds yours as the two of you walk around Tivoli Gardens. You marvel at the lights and Jimin marvels at you. You share mulled wine and spiced doughnuts. Jimin tries to drag you on the swings but you plant your feet and refuse, laughing through your refusals. As dangerous as your lives are, motion sickness might be the most. He gets his revenge and poses you in front of a giant nutcracker, then again in front of one of the endless Christmas trees.

Jimin pays for the two of you to decorate honey cakes. You’re surrounded by families with shrieking children and palpable adoration, and it’s all you can do not to wonder if anyone you’ve taken out had ever had something like this. Something that makes your soul warm; something that still lingers in your bones years later.

The two of you take a selfie when it starts to snow. It stings when you have no one to send it to, so it just lives in your phone. Maybe it’s enough.

On another day, Jimin holds your hand through Torvehallerne. This time you marvel at him while he marvels at all the food, eyes wide each time he turns to ask if he should buy something. You always say yes and he always shares, and it’s all you can do not to think about why you don’t have to budget yourselves. Why you’re able to walk through the market and buy whatever you want; how you could buy every item for sale and it wouldn’t make a dent.

(You pick up small trinkets for Taehyung and Jungkook. Not because you want to, but because it feels nicer than remembering that you have no one to buy gifts for. Not really. Not anymore.)

Jimin wants to ice skate, so you do. He holds your hand then, too. More out of necessity than anything else, and he has none of his usual grace. Someone hands you a free cup of hot chocolate, just because. Jimin pouts and then it’s his hot chocolate. It’s all you can do not to kiss away the whipped cream on the corner of his mouth.

Back in your lavish hotel, after countless days have blurred together and Jimin’s fresh from a shower, skin flushed, you finally ask yourself if it’s worth putting up such a fight. If it’s really all that bad to care for Jimin and be cared for in return. If it’s all that bad to be someone else, just for a little while: someone with a normal life who makes a normal living and has a normal capability to love. Someone who isn’t damaged beyond repair.

That will never be you. Not fully, and certainly not in this lifetime, but maybe it could be, a little.

“Jimin,” you say, because you need to try. Jimin loves you in ways you’ll never understand, and you want to be better for him. “We should talk.”

Your voice is small and hesitant, and Jimin hates it. Sees trouble where there’s only vulnerability, so he misreads. Shakes his head. Takes a risk and stands between your legs at the edge of the bed—yours, because there’s two—as he tilts your head back, thumbs pressing into the contours of your cheeks. The scar still sits in the hollow of your throat, and that version of you feels so far away. That life feels so far away.

There’s no violence here. There’s no blood, no fugues. There’s just you and Jimin, whose voice is small like yours when he shakes his head and says, “You should kiss me instead.”

The second time is nothing like the first.

Jimin moves delicately. Feels like silk lace, tastes like spun sugar. Moves both his mouth and his body fluidly, no hesitation, yet he still takes his time. Still pauses to look at you with endless devotion; with awed reverence. Makes a map of your body and marks all his favorite places with his lips.

“Tell me what you want,” he says. Speaks the words against the skin just beneath your ear. “Anything. I’ll give you whatever you want, just have to ask.”

What you want isn’t tangible, isn’t possible, so you stay quiet. Thread your fingers through Jimin’s hair, gasp when he mouths along the column of your throat. Jimin reserves all his softness for you. Bathes you in it. Would kill anyone to keep it that way.

So you say, “Want your mouth,” and let slip a quiet moan when he gives you what you’ve asked for. When he situates himself between your thighs and sucks and licks until you’re writhing, making a mess, grasping fruitlessly at the sheets, his hair, his shoulders, only calming when his hands find yours and your fingers interlock.

Jimin mouths at you until you’re trembling. Until you’re needy and desperate, hips moving on their own, fucking yourself against his face. Until nothing exists except the heat in your belly, the stars behind your eyelids, the heady, fucked-out sound of Jimin’s voice as he talks you through it, murmurs praise against your cunt.

Jimin mouths at you until you forget.

This isn’t your life. This is not something you can have.

But, in the grand scheme of things, what does it matter? You’ve made peace with death, and there’s only one of two ways it’s going to come for you in the end: by Namjoon’s hand or someone else’s. So what does it matter?

This time, Jimin fucks you slow. Kisses you with your taste still in his mouth. Thumbs over a hardened nipple just to see what earns him a reaction, and what you truly want is more time—something else that’s impossible.

Jimin’s hair is orange when you think you might be in love with him.

[ 48.8566° N, 2.3522° E | Paris, FRANCE ]

Jimin’s hair is pink when—

“Sit,” he says, gesturing to the toilet.

Soaks a washcloth in warm water. Wrings it out. Stands in front of you, and there’s water dripping onto the floor and Jimin doesn’t care, doesn’t seem to see anything in this moment except for you, your hands covered in someone else’s blood, and he reaches out, gently grabs your wrist. Palm up. Someone else’s blood. Everything smells like copper and iron. Looks too surreal beneath the fluorescent lights of this hotel bathroom for your mind to make sense of it.

There is care in the way Jimin cleans your hands. There is tenderness in the way he both refuses to see what you really are and the way he’s the only one to ever see you so entirely, when you look down at the blood he’s washing away and all you can see is stigmata. When all you see is sin.

“I know you don’t love me,” he says, and there is a conviction in his words that stuns you into silence. “Not the way I love you, anyway.”

That tenderness is still there as he says this. As he presses the wet fabric into the meat of your palm, wipes the stains away, and the warmth is as calming as it is undeserved. It feels like something forbidden. It feels like salvation and condemnation all at once, like whatever sick depravity permeates you is contagious, will take over Jimin, too, just from touching you.

Jimin is close enough to reach out and touch. Close enough to see the violence that he exists in alongside you: the rips in his clothes, the scars that decorate his skin. Close enough to know he smells sickly-sweet, just like death. Your hand shakes as it reaches for him and never follows through. Doesn’t want to contaminate him.

“I do,” you finally say. Whatever is in your voice is not conviction. “I can’t.” You suck in a breath, try to steady your breathing. This is where it all comes crashing down, you think, because in all the years you’ve done Namjoon’s bidding, you’ve never cried. You can take life so freely and without thought, but you cannot love Jimin. “Someone like me isn’t capable of it.”

Jimin pauses, the washcloth stuck in the space between your ring and middle fingers. “And who is someone like you?”

Water is still dripping to the floor. Serosanguineous: blood tainting something untouched. Not something one thing or another but both, watery-pink. Looks like Jimin’s hair. “I’ve killed a lot of people,” you answer. “More than I can count. More than I can name. More than the ones that come to haunt me at night.” Your free hand moves to your chest, covers your heart. “There’s nothing here, Jimin. I’m not sure there ever was.”

The washcloth drops to the floor, and all that blood belonging to a man whose name you never bothered to learn before you put a bullet between his eyes finds a new place to rest. “I think,” he begins, clasping your unclean hand in his own, voice dropping to a whisper, “you forget, sometimes.” You gasp as he places your palm to his cheek, drags it across his face, smears a stranger’s blood across his skin. “That we’re the same.”

Jimin is always overwhelming, but the love he has for you is even more so. It consumes you entirely, embeds itself beneath your skin, makes a home, would tear you apart, body and soul, to return to him.

[ 47.4979° N, 19.0402° E | Budapest, HUNGARY ]

Jimin’s hair is lavender when it all goes to shit.

“You’re being followed.”

Seokjin’s voice is garbled through the earpiece, tinny and metallic, and you roll your eyes. Some things don’t need to be said, because you’ve known someone was following you for the last three blocks. Average height, black peacoat, close-cropped haircut. Not the kind of person that’d stand out here, and that’s exactly why you’d sent Jimin in the other direction.

“No shit,” you respond in Hungarian, because you already know the man following you doesn’t speak or understand it. “Give me somewhere to go.”

It takes Seokjin a few moments to run the translation. “There’s a side street up on your right,” he answers. “It’s tight, but there’s an alleyway at the end. You can buy some time if you’re quick.”

“Where’s Jimin?”

You pass a vendor selling lángos and duck into the street behind the stall. Just as Seokjin had said, there’s a small alleyway up on the left, and your footfall is near-silent as you break into a sprint to reach it. “Safe,” is all Seokjin says.

You take a second to steady your breathing, knowing you’re good on time—the man following you was close enough to know where you’d turned, but, if you’re lucky, not much after that. That plays on a loop: if you’re lucky, if you’re lucky, if you’re lucky. What is luck, what does it look like, in a life left entirely to chance? In a life with no guarantees?

You tuck yourself away, focus on Seokjin’s metallic breaths. Think about his basement in Seoul, why he’s in it. Ask, “What happened in Addis Ababa?” because it feels important to know.

There’s not much you know about Seokjin’s life. Whatever happened in Ethiopia had been before your time, reduced to hushed whispers and gossip fodder after your arrival. No one spoke of it, Seokjin especially, but every now and then something would slip in the same way weeds grow in sidewalk cracks.

A job gone wrong. A bombing at the consulate with Seokjin inside.

His reply is simple, words spoken carefully: “I loved someone once, too.”

He can’t see it, but you nod nonetheless; an answer that doesn’t require a response, because you know. It’s enough to fill in the rest. What Seokjin’s trauma looks like. Why he doesn’t do field work anymore. Why he prefers the solitude of the basement, rarely a sound beyond the electric thrum of the server racks.

Who had gone in to retrieve him, and why Yoongi has the scar over his eye.

“You loved someone,” you conclude, “and he would’ve been willing to die for you.”

“Yes,” Seokjin says, and it’s like the word’s been punched out of him. Sounds like something repressed, something left to rot in the darkest corner of the world.

Love, to Seokjin, looks and sounds the same as death.

“I think most people spend their entire lives searching for a love like that,” he continues, and if you could see him you think he might look dazed, off-kilter. You think he might be an avatar. Seokjin is prying his ribcage apart, unwrapping the barbed wire from his heart, saying I once was in love and this is all I know of it. “But, to me, in this life, it’s a prison. Once someone is willing to die for you, how do you keep them alive? How do you—I kissed that skin. I worshiped it. I pressed my lips to it with whatever softness was left in me. How do you look at that same skin and know you’re the reason it’s mangled?” He exhales, all tremor. “You can’t. You can’t.”

You know this all too well. You know what it feels like to look at Jimin and know, intrinsically and subconsciously, that you wouldn’t even hesitate. You’d take and give life to keep him alive and safe. You know that when you exit this world at someone else’s hand his face is the last thing you want to see.

You know it’s a liability.

You know it’s a target painted on your back. Between your eyes.

You know there’s nothing left to say, that this particular conversation has run its course. The two of you sit in an amicable silence, and you hope Seokjin can hear the life that surrounds you, however mundane. Hope he can hear the lángos vendor trying to hawk his goods; hope he can hear a city 8,000 kilometers away; hope he can hear these regular, everyday people going about their lives and remember there’s hope beyond his four walls.

I think you’d like it here, you think, but you don’t dare to say it aloud.

Time passes in a meaningless blur. Could be minutes, could be hours. No one’s come to kill you, so you reckon you’ve long since been in the clear. And maybe it speaks to Seokjin’s idea that love is a prison, because you know something’s happened to Jimin long before Seokjin speaks it into existence.

You’re up and out of the alleyway before you’re told to move. Have no idea where you’re going, but you’re racing through the streets of Budapest with a panic you haven’t ever felt in your life. Feels like quicksand; feels like molasses; feels like you have to wade through all the blood you’ve spilled, now congealed, to get to him.

“Where am I going?” you demand. Your lungs are on fire. In the split-second of silence it becomes a desperate scream. “Seokjin, tell me where the fuck I’m going!”

“The—fuck, the wa-warehouse up on your right.” You can’t think about why he’s crying. “I don’t—I don’t know wha-what’s there, you need to be careful. Please, you have to—”

Twenty seconds and you’ll be there, you’ll be with Jimin, you just need to keep running. You need to keep your head on straight. Remember your training. Remember you’ve built a life in a viper pit.

A man in a uniform is unloading a shipment around the back of the building. Faces away from you, bent at the waist. Takes very little effort to smash his head into the stone exterior and knock him unconscious, pocket his badge. You can’t get stupid now. Tell Seokjin to make sure all the cameras are cut, ask what floor when you shut yourself inside the freight elevator, unwilling to take the stairs and run into anyone who might be waiting. All the way to the top, he says, so all the way to the top you go.

—

Over the course of your life, you’ve made peace with death. Have stared it in the eye more times than you can count. Have dealt it out, evaded it, shook its hand.

You are wholly unprepared for the sight that greets you.

Red. Everything is red—the walls, the floor, what used to be a beautiful parquet pattern in the wood. In the center of the room: two bodies, maybe three. Not much that’d be able to identify them beyond a pile of teeth, no saying whose is whose. Slaughterhouse scraps.

And this is not—Jimin doesn’t work this way. Isn’t his MO. Jimin’s kills are elegant and neat, topped with a bow. What you see before you is ultraviolence. It is unhinged, it is fury, it is a complete loss of control. It’s what love looks like to Jimin, because he sits at the very edge of a rotted chair, legs crossed. Face streaked with blood, clothes covered in it.

“Jimin,” you say, because what else is there?

He tilts his head to the side, smirks a little, looks at you beneath his lashes. Eyes that used to find you across a room and calm you. Eyes that have locked onto you in the throes of pleasure. Eyes you’ve seen yourself reflected in, bathed in love and adoration.

Eyes that now contain nothing.

“Jimin, what the fuck happened?”

He removes his gloves with his teeth and doesn’t flinch away from the taste of iron. “They said they hurt you,” he states simply, “so I did what needed to be done.”

“What—” Nausea claws at your throat; for the first time, it’s all too much. This isn’t Jimin. This isn’t your Jimin, who smiled as you posed him against apricot walls in Copenhagen, who took a bullet to the stomach to protect you and never, ever told you. This is not the Jimin who wasted the last of his goodwill on loving you. “What did you do?” you whisper.

He rises to full height and it makes you flinch. You are scared of Jimin for the first time in your life: scared of who he is in this moment, what he’s capable of. And he sees it, lets that brand of anguish overtake him. Reaches for you before he decides against it and lets his hand drop to his side. Says, “I would never hurt you,” as if the words could brand themselves into your skin so you’d never forget.

“No, you’d just—” You squeeze your eyes shut. Don’t think about how one of the men nearly embedded into the floor was the one trailing you earlier.

Instead, you think about Seokjin: Once someone is willing to die for you, how do you keep them alive? You think about: How do you look at that same skin and know you’re the reason it’s mangled? You think about: In this life, it’s a prison.

You drop to your knees. Let the blood seep through your clothes and into your skin, undeserving of shying away from it.

Namjoon should’ve let you go.

You think about the men in front of you. Who they were, who they loved. The grief all of this is going to leave behind, and it becomes impossible to breathe. You grasp at your throat, think about all the times you’ve been strangled and who’d been there to cut the rope. There is no limit to Jimin’s devotion, and you understand now, how it drove Yoongi to madness. How he loved someone so much he would’ve retrieved their corpse from a building and how that same person can no longer bear to look at the damage they’d caused.

“This isn’t love, Jimin,” you choke out.

He stands in front of you. Stigmata. You’re worshiping at the altar of some kind of devil. At least his hands are clean when he places his fingers beneath your chin, forces you to look up at him. “What is it, then?”

“Destruction.”

A quiet huff of cruel laughter. “See, this is the difference between me and you, darling.” He takes back his hand, runs it through his blood-streaked hair, and your chin sags to your chest without his support. “Because I already knew that. Because I have destroyed myself every single day loving you.” He squats down, eye-level, and he says, “I need you to listen to me when I say this, sweetheart: you do not love me the way I love you, because I would do worse. When it comes to you, there is nothing on this earth I would not destroy to keep you safe.”

He clears his throat. Collects whatever’s in his mouth and spits onto one of the bodies. “If this is enough to have you tucking your fucking tail between your legs, then go, because this doesn’t even scratch the fucking surface.”

You can’t bring yourself to say anything, and sometimes that says it all.

Jimin presses a kiss to the top of your head. Makes a call. Cleaners will be here soon, he says, better get going.

You watch him go.

[ 37.5665° N, 126.9780° E | Seoul, SOUTH KOREA ]

Jimin’s hair is black when Namjoon calls the meeting.

He takes the seat across from Namjoon’s desk because they don’t meet like this often. Assignments are usually manila folders slipped under doors, hushed whispers in hallways confirmed with a nod or a text on a burner phone. Assignments are not last-minute assemblies in conference rooms and offices.

But the way Namjoon is looking at him, with his clenched jaw and a gaze that’s meant to look barbed to anyone who doesn’t actually know him—Jimin doesn’t need to ask what this is about.

Had he bothered to look, he would’ve known by the way you stood in the far corner of the room, face obscured by the mid-afternoon shadows. Yoongi’s close to you, for some reason: dressed head to toe in black, perched on a lateral file cabinet, using a metal corner to sharpen his switchblade. Just like a harbinger of death. Some sort of fucked up omen, a warning that’s come too late.

Didn’t I tell you this would end badly, he hears Yoongi taunt in his head. This is what happens when you lay with trash.

Easy for Yoongi to say when he doesn’t know what it means to be cared for by you. Doesn’t know how it feels to give in to the freefall and plummet at your feet, stripped back and laid bare. Doesn’t know how it feels to kiss secrets into your skin like constellations, to map his tongue along every unspoken confession.

Easy for Yoongi to say, because he doesn’t have to survive the aftermath. Doesn’t have to feel the heartbreak, the agony of having you and watching as you slip through his fingers. Yoongi doesn’t have to struggle just to breathe, doesn’t have to endure the nights staring at the ceiling, watching as the daylight creeps into the corners of his vision. Doesn’t have to watch you looking so unaffected.

“Jimin.” Namjoon’s tone is flat, needlelike.

Behind him, Yoongi chuckles lowly. “What?” Jimin asks, his gaze trained on the painting behind Namjoon’s head. Looks like one he’d seen in Berlin, the time the two of you had gone just because and spent an afternoon ducking in and out of museums to escape the rain.

When he closes his eyes, he still sees the raindrops stuck to your eyelashes. The beads of water rolling off the sleeves of your leather jacket. How blinding your smile had been. The laughter in your voice as you ordered beer after beer after beer for the two of you in flawless Berlinisch. A brief, fleeting glimpse at normalcy. At the kind of life the two of you could have if you were just… different. Lived different lives. Were different people.

“You’ve gotten sloppy.”

Namjoon’s words are a cold bucket of water. Snap him back to reality, yank him back to the present where he’s forced to leave those river-lined streets behind. You’re silent and Yoongi’s still snorting laughter. “Okay,” is all Jimin can bring himself to say.

Jin had gotten sloppy once, too, and Namjoon stuck him down in the basement to work logistics. Might not be so bad, Jimin reckons. He’d be away from you, spared of this fucking misery. “So you know that’s unacceptable.”

Jimin just shrugs, resigned to his fate, whatever it may be. “I’m reassigning the both of you,” Namjoon continues. “You’ll both have new partners for your next assignments, since you clearly can no longer be trusted together.”

“Who?” Jimin manages to choke out.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, clearly having expected an argument. “You’re being sent to Shanghai with Jungkook. You,” he says, turning his attention to you, “are going to Moscow with Taehyung.”

She’s fond of Taehyung, Jimin wants to say. But you’d been fond of him too, once upon a time, and that’d only ended in heartbreak, so who fucking cares.

They’re cruel, the tricks Jimin’s mind plays on him. How he convinces himself you look pained. How his fingers wring together at the thought of entrusting his life in the hands of someone else, someone new. At your life being just as at stake; at Taehyung being tasked with keeping you alive. Would you die for him, too, the way you’d always told Jimin you would for him? Would Taehyung take a bullet to the stomach to keep you safe the way Jimin had?

Even more cruel is the way you scoff, pushing yourself off of the wall as you fold your arms across your chest and say, “That’s bullshit, Kim Namjoon.”

No one talks to Namjoon that way except you.

Yoongi’s knife stops twirling. Just like a bird sensing a storm, senses on high-alert as he flicks his gaze over to you. “I’m sorry?” Namjoon says. “What part of Jimin losing his mind and nearly outing all of us seems like bullshit to you?”

“Hm, let me think,” you retort, a manicured finger tapping against the hollow of your cheek. “The part where you’re reassigning me for someone else’s mistake?”

Which part was the mistake? Jimin wants to ask. Needs to know how much you regret. Was sleeping with you the mistake? Falling in love with you? Getting too caught up in all these daydreams and letting reality get away from him?

“This organization is more important than Park Jimin getting his goddamn dick wet,” Namjoon snaps. “Keeping all of you safe—keeping you alive—is more—”

You scoff. Take an entire container of gasoline and pour it right on top of Namjoon’s flammable ire. “Then perhaps you’d be so kind as to explain to me why Min fucking Yoongi can fuck damn near everyone in this establishment, yet I have to sit here and listen to your goddamn mouth—”

Jimin doesn’t think Yoongi even knows his arm is moving.

There’d just been the trading of barbed words. His own name being spoken into the ether. Yoongi’s arm moving away from his body, switchblade clasped tightly between his fingers as he plunges it into your flesh.

Jimin watches it puncture your arm in slow motion. Feels the bile in his throat, the heat in his belly. Looks first at Namjoon whose jaw has gone slack, skin pale, as he stammers over words that won’t come. Then he looks at Yoongi—expects to find shock or guilt but finds only a muted disinterest and flared nostrils.

Finally, he looks at you. Watches the white cotton sleeve of your shirt slowly turn red and sticky-wet. Watches as your lips move around syllables and vowels and consonants Jimin can’t decipher.

“—fucking piece of shit, this is my favorite shirt! I’ll never get all this goddamn blood out of it—”

Jimin thinks he hears Yoongi say you deserve it. But Jimin isn’t really thinking much as he clambers out of his chair and moves in Yoongi’s direction. Doesn’t think at all as he lets instinct take over, lets adrenaline steer him headfirst into yet another bad idea.

He’s always known there’d come a day he’d be face-to-face with the sight of your blood. Had always known it’d come from someone else’s hand. Had always promised himself that hurting you would be the last thing anyone ever did.

Jimin has his fingers wrapped around Yoongi’s throat and he finally understands it—the joy Yoongi finds in taking life.

“What’s the matter, Jimin-ah?” Yoongi taunts. Jimin tightens his grip. Suddenly hates that fucking scar across Yoongi’s eye. “You’re never on clean-up duty. Always make your girlfriend do the dirty work. Finally grew some fucking balls, huh?”

“Fuck you,” Jimin says stupidly. Can’t think of anything more to say. Not that he needs to. Wrapping your hands around someone’s throat sends enough of a message, he thinks.

Namjoon’s still tongue-tied as you yank Yoongi’s blade from your arm, immediately pressing your other hand over the wound to stem the bleeding. The sight of your blood is making Jimin dizzy; the smell of the iron hanging in the air. All he wants to do is choke the life out of the man in front of him, but more than that, he just wants to hold your hand. Wants to comfort you, even though he knows you don’t need it. Not from him, not from anyone, but he still wants to. Wants to press his lips to the sweat at your brow.

And Yoongi can see it, too, because he starts laughing. It’s an odd, fractured noise. Jimin isn’t sure if he’s ever heard him laugh before, decides he also hates the way it sounds. Feels all wrong watching it leave his crooked smirk. Makes Jimin’s stomach plummet to the ground.

“Oh, you’re fucked, aren’t you?” Yoongi teases around Jimin’s slackened grip. “You weren’t just fucking her, you’re in love with her.”

Weird how Jimin is the one with his hands around someone’s neck and feels like he’s the one suffocating.

[ 31.2304° N, 121.4737° E | Shanghai, CHINA ]

Jimin watches the life drain from an innocent woman’s face and feels nothing.

Jimin watches Jungkook cut a man down and feels even less.

When it’s over, he cleans up wordlessly and doesn’t eat for three days.

[ 37.5665° N, 126.9780° E | Seoul, SOUTH KOREA ]

Jimin’s hair has faded to brown by the time he returns from Shanghai.

The more complicated job had gone to you and Taehyung. Jimin had tried not to take it personally. The Russian hits are always unnecessarily violent and Jungkook still isn’t fully trained. There’s still a phantom pain in Jimin’s stomach that warns him of the consequences of taking on more than he can chew. So, sure, Shanghai had gone fine, but his mind had been nearly 7,000 kilometers away the entire time.

Good thing he’d returned to Seoul unscathed, too, because he’s sure Namjoon would’ve eliminated him without a moment’s hesitation if he’d fucked up again.

But Shanghai had only served to prove the leader right. Jimin can’t work with you anymore. Can’t focus, can’t stomach the violence, can’t keep his goddamn head on straight.

He sighs as he glances at Jungkook to his right. Jimin had watched him murder two men in cold blood not even thirty-six hours ago and now he’s doe-eyed and sucking down his third banana milk of the morning. It really makes his head spin, being paired with this grown-up infant of a man now instead of you, but for all of Jungkook’s apparent shortcomings, he’d kept Jimin alive. He isn’t dead.

And then you walk in with Taehyung and he wishes he was.

Because you’re laughing and Taehyung’s got his arm slung around your shoulder and you look happy. It’s the kind of happiness that should be contagious, bloom warmth in his chest, but it doesn’t. It just takes the last frayed strand of hope he has and sets flame to it.

You don’t look like you miss Jimin at all. Don’t look like you’ve lost sleep or skipped meals.

“Didn’t take you long, did it?” Jimin says, because he’s wounded and lashing out. Not because he means it.

You must know he doesn’t, too, because you don’t react. “Watch your mouth, Park Jimin,” Taehyung warns, because he doesn’t know, and this only sets Jimin off more. You don’t need defending. Or had you, and Jimin had simply thought it wasn’t his place to provide it? That you wouldn’t want it?

“Or what, Kim Taehyung?”

Taehyung is cherubic. It’s part of his charm, one of many reasons why he’s so effective. If you’re looking to die, you look for the guy who looks like Yoongi, not the one who smiles wide and warm like Taehyung. So when he sets his jaw and pokes his tongue into his cheek and says, “Or I’ll cut your fucking head off, you stupid fuck,” your attention is finally piqued.

“I’m so sick of this,” Jungkook wails, banana milk tossed carelessly in the trash. “All of you need to get your fucking shit together!”

Taehyung rolls his eyes at the same time you pretend to inspect your nails. “Is that why you’re so temperamental, Chim?” Taehyung prods, looking every bit the pretentious, murderous angel he is. “Because you got sent to China on a babysitting mission while the grownups did real work?”

“Fuck you,” Jungkook snaps, rising to full height. “I’m not a fucking child.”

“Oh? Could’ve fooled me.” Taehyung’s words are razor-sharp and smell like kerosene. “Tell me, then: were you on babysitting duty? Had to look after our precious little Jiminie while he nursed his broken heart?”

You sigh, full of faux-exasperation, and place a gentle hand on Taehyung’s forearm. Dig your nails in just enough to be a warning, and if Jimin hadn’t been looking he’d miss it: the way Taehyung deflates instantly, anger dissipating like smoke, back in control. Just because you’d touched him. Just because you were there. Jimin knows that touch, how it feels to be under your control, and it makes his chest ache. Makes everything feel like it’s sitting wrong in his stomach, and he’s either going to be sick all over Namjoon’s overpriced fucking rug or wrap his hands around Taehyung’s throat the way he’d done to Yoongi.

He’s out of his goddamned mind; he feels untethered. Helpless. Like it was always going to end like this, and maybe Jimin knew that and had just ignored it. Maybe now he’s paying the price—maybe he’s finally found something he can’t afford.

Jungkook’s still going off, nasty gaze set on Taehyung because he’s the only one playing along. They’re exchanging words Jimin can’t make heads nor tails of. Words he doesn’t care about. Words that ring empty and hollow because they sound nothing like the way you say his name. Shapeless, unlike the way your lips move around those syllables.

“Jimin,” you say, the sound finally registering and bringing him back down to earth. All he can do is stare. “Can we talk?” Taehyung and Jungkook are still trading barbs.

Wonders how he got here. Looks around the room and wonders if each and every one of them is destined for this same fate, this madness. Wants to tell you why he forgot his vest, why he was three hours late in Argentina. Wants to grovel and beg and leave this place and never look back.

More than anything, he wants to know what it feels like to actually be human.

So he shakes his head. Tries not to be haunted by the way your face falls at the rejection.

There is a scar on his abdomen and a scar on your arm that both tell the same story. There is a man in the basement who is in love with a man above ground and is too weighed down by guilt to do anything about it. There is a man here who plays god, has soldiers to do his bidding, and there is very little here that Jimin has only for himself.

The two of you will have that conversation, but he needs to be human, first.

[ 34.6901° N, 135.1956° E | Kobe, JAPAN ]

This is a waste of your fucking time.

Whatever Namjoon had thought would be here doesn’t seem to exist. Yoongi can barely tolerate you on a good day, threatens to stick a dagger in your neck at least twice an hour, but the more time the two of you waste chasing ghosts, the closer he comes to unraveling entirely.

“Stop fucking staring at me,” he snaps, blowing the smoke of his cigarette right in your face.

You tut. “But you’re so beautiful, Yoongi, I just can’t help it.”

He digs his switchblade from his boot. Makes a show of flipping it open. “I can cut your fuckin’ eyes out of your skull,” he intones. “Maybe that’ll help.”

In your ear, Jimin’s laughter rings like crystal.

Ricochets off of all the corners of Seokjin’s basement, makes the echo sound warped through the earpiece. “Please tell Yoongi-ssi to keep an eye on the man with the shaved head. In front of him, roughly sixty degrees to his right.”

You relay the message. Watch as Yoongi transforms—sharpened gaze, rigid posture, disappears into the shadows. More apex predator than man. “And me?” you ask.

“Backup,” comes Seokjin’s voice. “We haven’t found your mark yet.”

You hum. Pick up the cigarette Yoongi left behind and stick it between your lips. Smoke it nearly to the filter. “You got it, boss,” you tease, just because it flusters him.

“I’m—that’s not—knock it off.”

Exhale. Stub out the cigarette. Butt in your pocket. “Anything else?”

“Yeah,” Jimin says, and his voice is soft, sounds like spun sugar. “Stay alive, all right?”

Jimin’s hair isn’t dyed at all.

if you've read this far: thank you so, so much! i am more appreciative than i can put into words. this is very different from what i typically write, but i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.

i would love to hear your thoughts if you have any. &lt;3

[starkwlkr]

Oh I love your baby Leclerc works and I have a request like before you jump onto baby no 2, wouldn’t it be amazing to have a one shot of the day ruby was born like how Charles reacted to holding her for the first time. His feelings as a father and a girls dad thinking he has a huge responsibility to live up to his daughter’s expectations. Something like that.

your daddy’s here | charles leclerc

this is so cute 🤍 my knowledge about childbirth is limited but since my sister had a baby in december and i was with her the day before she gave birth i’m just going to use that to write this 🧍🏽‍♀️

January 2019

Y/n and Charles waited for the results. While she was calm, Charles couldn’t contain his excitement. He immediately started picturing them as a family. Him, Y/n and their new baby.

“Okay, do you want to look first or how do you want to do this?” Y/n asked as the timer on her phone went off.

“I want to look together if that’s okay with you.” Charles say next to her on their shared bed. Y/n nodded and flipped the pregnancy test over. She gasped when she saw the words Pregnant’ on the small screen. “We’re going to be parents. Holy shit!” Charles yelled as he immediately hugged the mother of his child and started kissing her face all over.

“Wait, what if our child decides to be born on a race day?” Y/n asked once Charles stopped his kisses.

“I won’t race, simple. I’m going to be there in the hospital with you. You’re crazy if you think I’m going to miss our child’s birth.”

Thank god that didn’t happen.

September 2019

Charles had won in Monza. Y/n wasn’t in attendance since she was days past her due date so she stayed in Monaco with Pascale. They watched the Grand Prix on the tv. Charles even blew a kiss to the camera for his family back home.

Y/n’s doctor had told her the due date was September third, but Baby Leclerc was being stubborn. Yeah, they kept the gender a secret until the birth so everyone referred to their child as baby leclerc. Arthur was the first one to call the baby that name. With the Singapore Grand Prix happening in less than two weeks, Charles was getting nervous.

“Okay, baby leclerc, you have to come out soon.” Charles said to Y/n’s large stomach. He took the opportunity to fly back to Monaco to be with Y/n in case the baby decided to be born.

“They loves hearing your voice. Maybe they’ll listen to their father and come out tonight.” Y/n teased. It was like the baby was listening to her because the next thing she knew, she was in a hospital bed with Charles in a chair beside her.

He had texted all his family members many updates every five minutes. Everyone could tell he was ready and excited to be a dad.

“I’m going insane, Charles, I just want the baby out already.”

A painful and long labor was what it took for baby leclerc to come out. A girl was what the doctor announced to the couple. Charles cut the umbilical cord. He watched as several nurses took the baby girl and placed her on Y/n’s chest. He walked over to his two girls and watched in awe.

“She’s here, she’s actually here.” Charles kissed Y/n’s forehead. “You did so good, mon amour.”

“I think she wants her daddy to hold her.” Y/n smiled even though all she wanted was to rest. She didn’t want to miss the loving moment when Charles finally held his daughter.

“She’s so little. My little girl.” Charles carefully took the baby into his arms. Charles had always heard how first time parents are afraid of holding babies because they think they’re going to drop the baby. But not him, he would never. He held her safely in his arms, smiling down at her. “Hi, baby. I’m your papa.”

Y/n never understood how some adults could look at a baby and say ‘she looks like her father/mother’. It never made sense to her because the baby was just born, how could they find the resemblance? Now she completely understood what they meant. Their daughter looked exactly like Charles. Their nose shape, the mouth, it was all him.

After getting the baby all cleaned, weighed and measured, Charles couldn’t wait to hold his daughter again. The nurse handed the baby girl back to him and congratulated the couple.

“Do you have a name for her?” The nurse asked.

“I have a name, but I wasn’t sure if you’d like it.” He shyly said as he turned his attention to Y/n.

“What is it?”

“Ruby. Like your birthstone.” Charles said.

“Ruby. I love it. Ruby . . . Jules. Ruby Jules.” Y/n confirmed to the nurse.

“I like the name Louise too. Ruby Jules Louise Leclerc.” Charles added. The nurse nodded and excused herself. “Ruby Jules.” He said once more. He loved how it sounded.

“I know you wanted to make at least one of our kids after Jules.” Y/n kissed Charles’ cheek.

“We’re going to have more?” Charles chuckled. “With you I’ll have all the babies you want. We can give Ruby Jules all the siblings.”

“Some, not all. You try popping out a kid.”

Liked by lorenzotl, pierregasly and 107,638 others

charles_leclerc Baby Leclerc ❤️

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Liked by estebanocon, scuderiaferrari and 102,678 others

y/nleclerc proud mama to my special girl ✨🫶🏼

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[redroomreflections]

All Play, No Work

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Not Easily Broken Universe

Masterlist | General Masterlist Summary: Reader walks in on their son yelling at Natasha

Natasha thought it was a simple request. One she’s asked him plenty of times before. It’s time for dinner and she needs him to put his toys and video game away. The mountain of toys and blankets around him signals he’s had his fun. Video games weren’t even allowed on school nights but she let him have it this time.

“Toys away please,” Natasha requests. “Say goodnight to your friends. You’ll see them tomorrow at school.” Ryan nods his head mindlessly the first time. His hands never leave the buttons on his controller. If anything, his fingers move even faster. He understands what she’s asking but he’s too into this round of Fortnite to actually do it. Just ten more minutes. All he needed was ten more minutes. Natasha wasn’t going to press him. He usually listens. Though these days he’s been testing his limits more and more. With a sigh, she goes back into the kitchen to finish prepping for dinner. It’s the first family dinner the four of you have had in a while. You and Emma stepped out to the store only an hour ago to pick up rolls. Emma’s favorites.

Natasha is finally putting the finishing touches on her baked salmon before she can put it into the oven. All of those cooking classes you two took years ago finally paid off. Her lack of cooking skills was her only weakness and you both joked about it constantly. Now, she was insanely good. Her need to perfect the craft-making her even more willing to try new recipes. And she wanted to be able to feed her children healthy meals. Natasha opens the oven with one hand while shoving the glass casserole dish onto one of the racks. She closes the door and walks over to begin chopping cucumbers for the salad. She loses track of time lost in her own world as she prepares the rest of dinner.

A scream from Ryan pulls her from her thoughts. Natasha sets her knife down. Hadn’t she told him minutes ago to put it away?

“Come on, go faster,” Ryan yells from his seat on the couch. Natasha walks with measured steps into the living room. She stands in his line of vision so that he can see her.

“I asked you to put it away, Ryan.” She interrupts his talking. He pretends to ignore her only sending her a glance.

“In a minute,” He hyper focuses on the screen in front of him. He’s having too much fun to finish now.

“Did you finish your homework?” Natasha asks. He’s seven. Of course, he didn’t. Even after she asked him to bring it to her to check.

“I can do it before the bus comes,” Ryan says.

“No, that’s not an option, especially when you don’t even like waking up early enough to finish the homework,” Natasha did not want to deal with a tired kid dragging his feet over addition and subtraction. “Off, now.” Natasha holds out her hand to take the controller from him. She waits, with a sliver of patience, for him to hand it to her.

Ryan smacks his lips. He makes a sound akin to a growl as he presses a few buttons to quickly turn the game off.

“This isn’t fair, AJ’s mom lets him play for however long he wants,” Ryan frowns.

“I’m not AJ’s mom,” Natasha replies. “I gave you more than enough time to play and to pick up your toys. Your mom and Emma will be back any minute and we’re eating dinner as a family.”

“Well, I wish she was my mom. She’s fun,” Ryan mutters. “I don’t want any stupid dinner.” He adds as an afterthought.

Natasha frowns. His anger is far and infrequent since you’ve been around more but he’s definitely still testing his boundaries.

“You don’t have to eat but you do have to put your things away,” Natasha says. She’s not going to argue with him on why he should. She’s not one of those parents that are controlling every aspect of their child’s life but she’s also not a pushover.

“I don’t have to do what you say!” Ryan stands from the couch. He’s barely taller than Natasha’s shoulders but he’s challenging her.

“Ryan Matthew Romanoff,” Natasha begins. “I’m not going to ask you again. Toys away. Video games on my dresser. If you’re going to act like this I’m not going to let you play on a school night anymore.” This seems to set Ryan off and he does something without thinking. A bad something.

You manage to catch the tail end of the conversation as you and Emma enter through the front door. He yells “I hate you,” while tossing the controller at Natasha’s head with full force. Neither of you was expecting this show of anger and you gasped when it collided with her forehead. Natasha’s quick reflexes aren’t quick enough as she stands in shock. For a second, Ryan does too. He looks up at Natasha with wide eyes and a look of fear on his face.

“Ooo,” Emma’s teasing, and surprised tone doesn’t help the situation at all. You pass her the grocery bag before walking over to them.

“Hey, that is completely unacceptable,” You shake your head. Your voice is a little louder than necessary. Just on the edge of yelling as Ryan jumps at your words. For a second he wonders if this is grounds for a spanking. You would never. Right?

“I didn’t mean-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” You shake your head. “What’s going on?” You turn to Natasha to inspect her forehead. An angry red bruise quickly formed just above her eyebrow.

“I asked him to put his toys away,” Natasha’s hushed tone and the tears in her eyes set you off more.

“And this is how you react? Throwing things at your Mama?” You turn back to Ryan. He doesn’t respond only dropping his head to the floor. “No, don’t do that. Pick your head up. You pick these toys up like she asked and you go to your room. Leave the video game on the bedroom dresser.” It’s an instruction just like Natasha gave. He doesn't question you or say anything this time. He moves quicker gathering his toys to put in the bin in a corner of the living room. You can see Emma teasing in the corner of your eye. “Unless you want to be in trouble too I suggest you go find a seat in the kitchen or in your room.” Emma scurries away hoping not to find out what trouble means. “We’ll be back in here in a few minutes and everything better be off this floor.” You grab Natasha’s hand to pull her down the hallway into the half bath. You tap the counter to instruct her to sit on it and she does.

“Has he done that before?” You ask and it’s Natasha’s turn to avoid your gaze. “He has?” Natasha nods slightly. “I know you said he’s been getting into trouble at school but this? He’s hit you before?” Natasha nods again. You remember the phase both kids had when they were younger. As toddlers learn to express their emotions and anger. You taught them better than that. At least you thought you did.

“He gets little bursts of anger,” Natasha shakes her head. “I can’t…I don’t know what to do with that.” She admits. “Kerry says she spanks Miles when he tried it but I can’t. I can’t do that.” Natasha bites her bottom lip nervously. “He’s going through a tough time and -” She doesn’t want to resort to corporal punishment. Her own childhood was riddled with exactly that and more. She won’t put her kids through that. Not even with their less-than-good behaviors.

“That doesn’t excuse it, Natasha.” You say firmly. You bring your hand up to caress her cheek and inspect the bruise on her head. “Jesus, Nat.” You breathe. “I didn’t know it was this bad.” You know you have to nip this behavior right in the bud. Now. It was unacceptable. “Are you okay?” You ask.

“I’m fine,” She lies straight through her teeth. You won’t push it. Twice now both kids have said they’ve hated her. A concept even you find upsetting. They’re directing their anger at her when it should be directed at you. Natasha doesn’t deserve it. She doesn’t.

“I’m going to go and talk to him.” You say. “Take your time in here and I’ll check on dinner.” Natasha’s eyes flutter closed at the kiss you place on her head. You look her over one more time before exiting the bathroom. The first stop is the kitchen. This is where you find Emma coloring at the dinner table. She’s humming to herself and swinging her feet under the table.

“Mommy, is Ryan going to get in trouble?” Emma asks. “Because he said he hated Mama and he threw his controller at her. That’s a no-no.”

“Don’t worry about Ryan’s punishment,” You tell her. “Worry about Emma’s punishment. She told me you said that to her too.” You close the oven after checking it to come and kneel beside her. “What’s with that?”

“I was just mad,” Emma shrugs.

“I understand that,” You tell her. “But that’s not something I ever want to hear you say about or to her. Do you think that makes her feel good when you say that?” Emma’s feet stop swinging as she thinks about it. “Would that make you feel good if someone said that to you?”

“No,” She shakes her head.

“Well, I’d suggest we find better ways of expressing ourselves, right, Baby girl?” You give her a small smile at her look of deep thought. “We’ve gone over better methods than this. You feel angry you talk. You go to your room and take deep breaths. You try again later.” Emma nods. She understands. “Now finish your coloring while I go talk to your brother.”

“I’m going to make a picture for Mama,” Emma decides. Her little legs continue to swing as she pulls one of her crayons from the box. Maybe that will make Mama feel better.

You stand to your full height and take a deep breath. Talking to Ryan may not be as easy. You go to the living room first to find it cleaner than before. All toys put away, tv off, video game missing. He’s done as told. You walk next up the stairs to his bedroom. He’s lying on his bed, arms folded while looking up at the ceiling. He quickly sits up at the sight of you. You try to cool off as you sit next to his legs.

“You want to tell me your version?” You give him a chance. You’re not here to be angry with him. Even if the scene before made you upset.

“I just wanted to play some more,” Ryan shrugs. “She told me to put it away. I didn't want to.” He summarizes.

“You didn't want to,” You repeat. “And how long had you been playing?”

“I don’t know. A long time.”

“Even though it’s a school night and she already allowed you to play in the first place,” You deduce. “And instead of listening and doing as told you decided that you would hit your Mama with an object that could have seriously hurt her. Am I getting that right?”

“Yes,” Ryan mumbles with a look of guilt. He drops his head again and you shake your head.

“Hey, look at me,” You gently prod. “This isn’t the first time you’ve done that. Hit her. Or said you hate her.” You question. “You’re getting into fights at school too? You’re in the second grade. What could you be fighting about?”

“Nothing,” Ryan dismisses a little too quickly.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” You place a hand on his leg. “ Did someone say something to you?”

Ryan pauses. “ Michael said Mama was the reason that you left. Because she’s the Black Widow and she’s a killer and that she did bad things. He said his dad told him that. I told him he was a liar. I don’t believe him. Mama’s not a bad person. She’s a good person. She’s an Avenger.” Ah. That’s where his conflicted emotions come from. While he's been protective of Natasha when it comes to you, he’s also battling feeling like she’s the reason why you left.

Left.

“I’m glad you told me that,” You thank him for his honesty. “I know how confusing it must be for you to hear that about your Mama.”

“But is it true?” Ryan asks. You don’t know which part he’s referring to. “That you left because of her?”

“No,” You sigh. “Ryan I left because I had my own things going on. Nothing to do with your Mama. We hit a rough patch. It’s. It’s not easy to explain but I felt that you would be much better off without me. All three of you. I didn’t want to hurt her anymore. Your Mama didn’t make me leave.”

“Oh,” Ryan’s bottom lip trembled. “I’m always so mad. I didn't mean to hit her. I didn’t. I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Whether you meant to or not you did.” You lightly scold him. “You know better than to hit people. I won’t have it. Especially not with your Mama or Emma. The same goes for her.”

Ryan bursts into tears emotions too big for him to express himself properly.

“I don’t want her to leave, too.” Ryan cries. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He buries his face into your neck clinging to you as he sobs. You raise a hand to cradle him in your arms. “I’m sorry. I won’t hit Mama again. I won’t yell at her. I don’t want her to leave.”

“I know,” You whisper into his ear. You feel like complete and utter shit. Truly. You allow him to cry in your arms for a bit longer. Finally, you pull back to look into his eyes. “No one is leaving. Not me. Not Mama.”

“B-but you did leave,” Ryan pouts.

“I know and it was the biggest mistake of my life,” You admit. “Just like I said in the diner I’m working to make that up to you.” Ryan sniffles. “That also means we have to work together as a family to make sure we’re all treating each other fairly. Which means no more of those temper tantrums or outbursts.” Ryan nods.

“Can I go say sorry to Mama?” Ryan questions. You sigh again.

“Ryan, are you hearing me?” You wipe the tears from his face. “Just because you apologize doesn’t mean it’s okay if you’re just going to do it again.” Words you should live by you know.

“I hear you,” He whispers. “I’m not going to do it again. I swear.”

“I’m taking your word for it,” You said.

“Is Mama going to hate me now?” He voices his fear. “Since I did something bad?”

“No, Mama could never hate you,” You say. “Go and talk to her.” Ryan scrambles from your lap to run downstairs in search of Natasha. You stay behind to take a breather. Family therapy may not be so bad.

Ryan finds Natasha in the kitchen marveling over the picture Emma has drawn for her. Before she has time to react he’s hugging her side and apologizing profusely. Natasha removes her arm from being squished between them to wrap them around his middle.

“I’m sorry, Mama, I won’t do that again.” His words are muffled as he pushes his face into her shoulder. “I’m really sorry. I promise.”

“Okay, okay,” Natasha leans back to look into his worried brown eyes. “I accept your apology, Ryan.” He looks up at her forehead before frowning.

“I’m sorry, Mama.” He repeats.

“I know,” Natasha says. “How about we finish dinner together? Hmm. Then we can talk about your punishment.”

“No game for two weeks?” He guesses and Natasha laughs.

“Three.” She smiles at his groan.

“I guess that’s fine,” Ryan still clings to her. “I can help with cooking.” He moves back to stand just as you reach the kitchen. You’re content to watch in the background as she works around them.

No more tantrums. For today at least.

fun question - how would you have handled this ?

[honeipie]

the perfect present

izuku midoryia x fem!reader

synopsis: izuku midoryia. the number one hero, and your husband. his birthday is coming up and you have to find a present that suits him.

animated banners from @cafekitsune

w/c: 2.0k

“we all know that our favorite hero's birthday is swiftly approaching! so we’re all itching to know.. what are you getting your husband? i’m sure everyone is wondering how you deal with getting him a birthday present. i mean, the man can quite literally have anything he wants. people either give it to him or he can buy it with all the money he has from being a pro!"

it was your fault for thinking you could just go get a coffee in peace. especially around this time of year. ever since izuku had become number one people are starting to see izuku's birthday as a small holiday. they would have a small parade for him whether he decided to attend or not. though every year he did post out his humble thanks on social media.

you got into your car quickly shutting the door in the paparazzi's face. it wasn't the first time that this was being brought to your attention. from the first time izuku hit the ranks people have sent him elaborate gifts. from friends, family, and fans (lots and lots of fans) it stretched out from small handmade gifts to free week long vacations at the resort of his choosing. so yeah, there was a bit of pressure when giving him gifts. he'd always reassure you though that gifts from you were hands down his favorite.

though this year you wanted him to actually mean it. because last year you were sure that whoever gave him that extremely rare, limited addition all might figure beat you by a long shot. given it's displayed in his home office right next to your wedding picture.

it had taken you a while to really figure out what would mean the most to him in a gift, but you had finally figured it out. the only hard part was putting it all together in the short period of time.

---

"hm" izuku hummed rubbing his hands up and down your sides. a cheap paper birthday hat sitting crooked on his head "when can i open your gift?" he mumbled looking up at you. it was clear that he was slightly tipsy from the way his cheeks were dusted pink, and the fact that you had just told him the answer. you gently placed one hand on his cheek leaning in to give his nose a kiss.

"i told you baby. when they're finished outside" you smiled at his small pout and weak attempt to pull you in closer. you all had decided that it would be nice to have a get together centered around him. since it was just old friends, none of them cared about the proximity of you both.

five minutes had passed before the guys came in giving you a thumbs up.

"it's all set!" kirishima wrapped his arms around katsuki and kaminari who nodded in agreement.

"you sure you don't need help cleaning up y/n? we can stay" ochako offered already throwing things away along with the help of iida. you shook your head getting up from izuku's lap.

"no it's fine! you've already helped so much already" you said your goodbyes along with coaxing izuku to do the same. once they were all gone you shut the door and immediately felt a looming presence behind you. izuku wrapped his arms around your waist with a goofy smile.

"is it a sexy surprise? is that why they had to leave?" his hands roamed lower making you yelp with a giggle.

"izuku, no! it's not that kind of surprise" you turned and pulled away making him frown "but maybe you'll get that later. now c'mere" you grabbed his hand pulling him outside. he trailed behind you with curious eyes. though curiosity turned into confusion as he noticed what they had set up. it was an inflatable movie screen with a projector in front of it.

you guided him towards one of the couched you had in your backyard "take a seat and i'll explain" he nodded going to sit down as you brought the projector back then placed the computer in his lap "okay, so this is my gift to you. it's kind of like a little trivia game and you get rewards if you know that right answer. all of the answers will be numbers and when you get the number you click on the file that matches" you pointed to the computer full of files with different numbers. he noticed the piece of paper you were holding and decided to take a peek "so this is your first little question. how many students were there in class 1-A?"

"twenty" he said with no hesitation and went to find the file on the computer. a smile found its way onto his lips when he found it, but before he could click it, he noticed the weight shift on the couch. you were leaving. his hand instinctively went to grab yours "where are you going?"

you placed your hand over his "izuku this present is just for you. i promised i wouldn't look and you'll see why" you leaned in to place one last kiss on his cheek before walking back into the house to clean up. he watched as you walked inside but turned back to the computer. if this was how you wanted it to go then so be it. he clicked on the file which made the computer screen go dark.

"what the.." he mumbled trying to see if he broke it somehow, but his attention was quickly redirected when a video popped up on the inflatable screen and started to play.

familiar faces popped up on the screen with smiles as they waited for ochako to set the camera up just right.

“it’s perfect like that!”

“just make sure it doesn’t fall!”

“okay! okay!” she carefully stepped back into the group with a smile "three.. two.. one.."

"happy birthday deku!" his old class yelled in unison, ringing out against the cool night air. his breath caught in his throat as he looked around at the people he once went to school with and was now fighting alongside in the real world.

well, almost everyone.

"we just wanted to let you know how much we love and appreciate you!"

"you've done something special for every single one of us man. we wouldn't be the heroes we are today without you! stay manly!"

"agreed, thank you for everything you have done midoryia. we owe you" iida nodded firmly giving him a thumbs up. each one of them making sure to give their love before ochako grabbed the camera bringing it closer.

"we love you!" they all shouted before the video shut off.

crickets replaced the sound of their voices. he could feel the slight sting in his eyes which was an all too familiar feeling for him. his hand was quick to wipe them away before looking down at the next card.

how many kids have you saved?

how many people do you protect in japan every day?

what was your childhood apartment's number?

all might was which wielder for one for all?

each video held people that he cared about. all of them expressing their love for the green haired hero. the more files he opened, the closer he was to crying. though he wouldn't let himself, not yet. there were still two more that he needed to open.

how old were you when you met kacchan?

the mouse hovered under the 'five' file. he had forgiven him a long time ago, hell, he didn't even know if he was mad at him in the first place. it was only during the war where he expressed any type of emotion about their relationship.

a deep breath left his lips as he clicked on the file.

katsuki's face showed up on the screen looking softer than usual "this fuckin' thing.." he mumbled going to make sure it was recording "alright.. if you're watching this then it means it's your birthday, so happy birthday deku" he sighed scratching his head "when your wife asked me to do this i'm not going to lie i thought it was dumb way to stroke your ego, so i said no. but then i thought about it some more and realized that i'm the one with an ego not you. you've always been humble even after you were given the most powerful quirk on earth to date" katsuki shrugged as if they talked like this all the time "as much as i hate to say it, you've taught me things. whether i was willing to learn or not. if i were to say i am the hero i am today because of only myself that would be a lie. you helped show me what a genuine hero is.. so thanks you idiot" katsuki went to turn the camera off but then another video was clipped at the end "and if you tell anybody i said this to you i'll blow your damned brains out you got that you nerd!-" the video then stopped abruptly cutting off the number two hero.

hot tears ran down the man's freckled cheeks as the clip closed out. it had taken years of hard work, but it felt like there was something inside him that finally healed. izuku sniffled taking one of the tissues from the side table which you had left out for him. always so thoughtful.

after taking a moment to gather himself once more, he picked up the very last card.

how many carats is your wife's ring? (which you did an amzing job picking by the way)

he chuckled at your little note beside it before clicking on the very last file. your face popped up on the screen with your bright smile right in the camera.

"oh! sorry if there's anything in my nose. i didn't check before this started" he laughed watching as you went to back up. you sat down on the couch of your shared living room. he couldn't help but admire you sitting there. he remembers when the two of you first bought the house. going from store to store to pick out the most perfect decorations that would satisfy both of your tastes. even though he said he was happy with whatever you loved.

"hi my love, and happy birthday. i hope you liked this little gift i put together for you. i know it's not some impromptu vacation, but i hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit. i guess my video is just going to be a repeat of what you already know. just that i love you and i am so so proud of you not only as a hero but as a person. i know how hard it is for you to ask for help sometimes, so just the fact that you feel comfortable with me is enough. you've come so far from all that you've endured in high school til now. i hope you had an amazing birthday izuku midoryia. i love you!" you blew a kiss to the camera before going to shut it off.

izuku let out a shutter of a laugh, that quickly turned into a cry. though these weren't tears of sadness, but the absolute opposite. he stood up and made his way back into the house. you had just finished wiping down the dining room table and felt him before you saw him. two big arms wrapped around your torso. a rather familiar feeling that you hoped you would never forget. you should feel a slight shake to his body which had you turning around.

tears could be seen streaming down the man's face but he didn't have an ounce of shame. you grabbed the bottom of your shirt going to wipe them off but he didn't give you a chance. his arms pulled you into a tight hug. one hand resting on the middle of your back the other on the back of your head. you wrapped your arms around him head laying on his chest.

and the two of you stood there. izuku's quiet cries being the only noise that filled your living room.

he needed this.

you didn't know how long it had been before he spoke up, but it really didn't matter.

"thank you.." he whispered out giving you one last squeeze. you pulled away ignoring the newfound wetness on your sleeve.

"of course izu. happy birthday"