#I was thinking about ensign Tuvok again

[bumblingbabooshka]

I wonder how different aliens shorthand laughter through text (Ex: LOL, HAHA)

[divinemissem13]

An addendum to @25daysofvoyager day 8 submission:

Final chapter of A Very Voyager Holiday is now up on AO3!

There's a bit more Hanukkah in there too, for @hanukkahbingo

Full final chapter is below the cut, but if you want to read the whole thing, you'll have to go to AO3

The morning briefing was just wrapping up when Captain Janeway turned her attention to her morale officer. “I believe that concludes all official business. Now, Neelix, how is the holiday party planning coming along?”

Neelix sat up a little straighter in his chair and tried not to appear flustered. He hadn’t been expecting to give a report today and there was still so much to do and only a few days left to do it all! “Right on schedule, Captain,” he declared. “With so many traditions to incorporate, it looks like the celebration will go for several days! Uh, several evenings, rather. We can’t have the whole ship at a stand still for a whole week, now can we?” he chuckled to himself.

Janeway looked mildly horrified when she interjected “A week, Neelix? That sounds a little… extreme, don’t you think?”

“Oh, no, Captain! A lot of the holidays last for several days! Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Las Posadas all last a week or more!” Neelix reassured her.

“Yes, I understand and people who celebrate those holidays are welcome to do so for their full duration. But let’s keep the official celebration to…” she glanced at Chakotay and Tuvok for confirmation, “... no longer than three days? Three evenings,” she ordered gently. 

“Er, ah, yes, Captain, I can make that work,” Neelix acquiesced. 

Janeway rose to her feet and called the meeting to a close, dismissing the senior staff. Neelix lingered, however, and he approached her once everyone else was gone.

“Was there something else, Neelix?” she asked curtly, though not unkindly. 

He fumbled for the right words. “Well, it’s just a small thing… barely worth mentioning really… only…”

“Spit it out, Neelix,” Janeway ordered.

“I’m concerned that we don’t have enough dilithium for me to prepare everything in only three days,” the Talaxian blurted out. “There are a lot of different types of food, and decorations, and I was planning to spread out my replicator use over a week so there would be time to recharge, but now I have to do it in less than half that time and–” 

The captain held up a hand to keep Neelix from babbling again. “Neelix, you have my permission to replicate as much as you need to. It’s been a rough few months; the crew deserves a good celebration. And besides, Seven thinks she has found a planet rich with dilithium about a week from our current position so we’ll be able to restock soon.”

“Oh! Thank you, Captain! If you’re sure… oh, that’s wonderful!” Neelix bubbled. 

“Of course, I’ll have B’Elanna keep an eye on the energy levels and if we are getting too low, you’ll have to stop immediately. Understood?” 

“Absolutely! Oh, Ensign Kim will be so happy that I can make his patjuk - there really isn’t a good substitute for the red beans, you know - and we’ll be able to have the Bajoran fireworks display on the holodeck, the talent show for Kwanzaa’s evening of creativity… Oh! And Lieutenant Paris’ Festivus pole! Thank you, Captain. You won’t regret it. This will be a holiday to remember!” Neelix exclaimed as he rushed out of the room.

Captain Janeway shook her head in amusement as the doors slid closed behind Neelix. His unbridled enthusiasm was both contagious and exhausting. She turned to pick up the small stack of PADDs on the table and stopped suddenly.

Did he say ‘Festivus pole’?

***

Neelix most certainly had said ‘Festivus pole.’ Further research into the holiday of Festivus had led him to an acceptable alternative to fighting the captain, and the newly replicated pole now stood proudly next to the Christmas tree. 

With Naomi’s help (and unlimited replicator access), Neelix had put together a holiday celebration for the ages. 

In addition to the tree and the pole, a Hanukkah menorah and a Kwanzaa kinara were prominently on display in the center of the mess hall, each fully lit with holographic candles that could last all night. There was even a Vulcan prayer candle, despite Tuvok’s insistence that it wasn’t necessary to include any Vulcan rituals as their holidays were usually celebrated in solitary meditation. 

Tables of food lined the room, representing all the different cultures and religions. Neelix was far too busy playing host and running between the mess hall and the holodeck  to explain the dishes in person as he usually would, so it had been Naomi’s idea to include labels explaining what the dish was and which tradition it belonged to. 

Thanks to the captain’s generosity with the replicator, Neelix was able to make both traditional and Delta Quadrant versions of many of the dishes. In most cases, the traditional dishes were more popular, but the surprise hit was Neelix’s Leola root latkes. Tom even went so far as to suggest that this be the primary preparation for Leola root going forward but Neelix insisted that they would be reserved for the holiday so that they remained special. 

The holodeck was very busy for the three days as well. There was a packed schedule of performances and activities, including traditional spirit dances of both the Trebus and Earth varieties, Klingon opera (performed by the Doctor and a troupe of holograms, of course. B’Elanna refused to have any part of it), a talent show to celebrate creative expression, and a nightly Bajoran fireworks display, just to name a few. 

During the daytime, the holodeck was transformed into a winter wonderland. Off-duty crew (and there were a lot, since the ship was operating with a skeleton crew for the holidays) could stop by at any time to build snowmen, go sledding, or sit by the fire with hot cocoa. Neelix even heard a rumor that Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay had spent some time strolling in the snow together hand in hand - but he found that harder to believe than the rumor that Lieutenants Paris and Torres had started a massive snowball fight between bridge officers and engineering.  

On the morning after the final evening of celebrating, Naomi found Neelix in the mess hall, sitting next to a half-packed box of ornaments. He had a sort of far away look on his face and, sure, enough, he jumped in surprise when Naomi tapped his shoulder. 

“Oh! Hello, Naomi!” Neelix exclaimed with a tired smile and just a bit less exuberance than usual. 

The perceptive child squinted at him, threw her arms around his neck, and asked “Neelix, are you ok?”

Neelix caught Naomi in his arms and hugged her for a moment before placing her back on the floor. “Oh yes, just a little post-holiday blues. Nothing to worry about,” he reassured her. He chuckled softly and added, “Who would have thought that I’d run out of energy before the replicators?”

“Oh! That’s what I came to tell you!” Naomi remembered suddenly. “It’s a Hanukkah miracle!”

Neelix looked at her quizzically so Naomi explained further. “The replicator shouldn’t have had enough energy to last the whole week - but it did! And Mom says we’ll even have enough to get us to that dilithium planet to restock!”

“That’s wonderful, Naomi, but what does that have to do with Hanukkah miracles?” Neelix wondered. 

“Neelix!” Naomi whined, starting to get annoyed. “It’s like how the oil was only supposed to last one day but it lasted eight!”

Neelix’s eyes grew wide with realization. “Do you know, I spent so much time planning the party, I never learned about any of the actual holidays!”

Naomi giggled, “Neelix! We’ll have to work on that for next year. Like, did you know that Bolians celebrate because…” 

Naomi continued to catalog all she had learned about holidays but Neelix wasn’t listening. His brain had shut down at the words ‘next year.’

[wingedpastafreakbat]

Things About Star Trek Voyager That I Wish Had Been Fleshed Out

There was an assumption that, going into this series, Voyager would have been the most technologically advanced ship in the Gamma Quadrant. They even had an entire little Kazon-centric arc that sort of solidified that fact, which made them a target for the Kazon; but as soon as Seska (and thusly the Kazon) is defeated, that entire plot point kinda just fizzles out? It started to fizzle out before that, too, and we had a whole series of off- and on-screen Kazon attacks that would often push Voyager to her limits. I wish they would have either kept that or gotten rid of it. Had they kept it, that could have made Voyager a target for bounty hunters, scavengers, thieves, pirates, and other species seeking power. It would have added higher stakes to have them be a massive, gleaming target until they got closer to the Alpha Quadrant.

The Maquis should have been a lot more of a struggle. Three, dispersed episodes was not enough to establish them as part of the crew. This is actually a relatively common critique of the show; the writers clearly didn't think beyond the first episode about integrating a small band of untrained, voluntary rebels into a Starfleet crew. I liked that they had an episode that focused on their lack of respect for doing things the Starfleet way, but there should have been more of it. The Maquis should have been a bigger thorn in Janeways side, even having to be thrown in the brig for occasional disruptions and possibly violence (since Chakotay seemed to have implied that the Maquis Way sometimes involved brute force).

There was not nearly enough focus on the homesickness and the resulting effects it would have had on the crew; particularly ensigns, like Harry Kim, who's first mission landed them 70,000LYs away from their friends, families, support systems, and safety nets. Seasoned officers, like Tuvok, would've had an easier time, of course, because they'd have been used to going long long stretches of time away from their homes. We should have seen a lot more mental breakdowns, maybe even some scrambling to find someone who could act as a ship counselor for the time being.

Speaking of the crew, they started with approximately 152 people (the ship only required 100 to be operational) because their mission was a seemingly routine search and rescue/arrest (no, we will not be discussing the fact that the Defiant was *right there* and ready to do that job). The ship proceeded to spend 7 seasons being battered and beaten in so many ways, it was beyond miraculous that their numbers never dipped below 100 by season 3 (yes, even with the added Equinox crew, their numbers should not have been above 100, realistically). And Janeway's initial refusal to allow her crew to fraternize, knowing damn well that their journey was going to take 70 years, makes it even more frustrating. There was only one child on board until the four abandoned drones were found. One. Again, absolutely miraculous that a majority of them survived. They should have added more alien members to their crew.

Okay that's all I can think of rn goodbye

[kosher-martian]

I'd like to think he just muttering to himself with a thousand-yard stare between segments.

Neelix: "My entire sense of self is gone. I'm not the man that entered that transporter. My body isn't mine. Are my thoughts really my thoughts, or are they Tuvok's thoughts trapped in the flesh prison of my brain? Reality is a vulgar absurdity. Neelix is dead, so who am I? WHO AM I!?!"

Guest: ...

Neelix: "Oh! What was I talking about again? Right, the show... So tell me about the secrets of yo-yos, Ensign O'Hare

It's canon that Neelix hosted a peppy morning show about everything that ever happened on Voyager but they rarely showed it, what was the post-Tuvix episode of A Briefing With Neelix like. Did he have to unpack all that in between introducing Ensigns juggling

[halfblood-fiend]

Thinkin' 'bout Mirrorverse Vorik today. Hope he's okay.

Don't @me

[itsclydebitches]

Robert Picardo as The Doctor is the best thing about Voyager. Now I’m just imagining him teaming up with Penny.

It’s “Write incredibly niche crossover fic in response to an ask” hour! 🥳️

***

One might assume that when the ship hit an unknown anomaly, resulting in a non-organic entity that produced life signs appearing on the bridge, claiming she was from another reality significantly different from their own, that someone of significant rank would see fit to inform the Chief Medical Officer of this threatening, precarious development.

They didn't. The Doctor only found out when Paris stumbled into his sickbay, arm wrapped gingerly around his waist.

"Hiya, Doc. Don't suppose you know anything about treating hugs?"

"Hugs?"

His programming demanded that he focus on the most life threatening problem at any given time. Nevertheless, the Doctor found his gaze shifting to the woman behind Paris, hovering anxiously in the doorway. She appeared human at first glance, but the mechanisms attached to her legs and the soft, nearly undiscernible hum of a power source gave her away. She smoothed hands down the front of her skirt, casting him curious glances in turn.

Paris heaved himself onto a bed, biting off a curse. "Penny, meet the Doc. Doc, Penny. I bet you two would make great friends, I'd just prefer it if you started gabbing after we figure out if I'm dying."

"If only we were so lucky," the Doctor said, already in the midst of a scan, "Hmm. Sadly, the crew will have to weather your presence a while longer, Lieutenant Paris. Your rib was broken."

"Oh, that's just great, I — wait. Was?"

"Already healed." The Doctor waved the osteogenic stimulator in Paris' face. He bat at it like an obnoxious fly. "Really, you people do make a fuss over the smallest bumps and bruises. You're fragile too. Am I to understand that your eighth rib cracked under the force of a hug?"

Paris gestured across the sickbay, his other arm lightly palpitating his side. "Yeah? Maybe? Ask Ms. Super Strength over there."

The address seemed to break whatever stupor Penny was in. She let out a little gasp and flew to Paris' side, fast enough that the Doctor was left blinking at the near teleportation. He made a note to run a self-diagnosis later, just to ensure his optical processors were functioning properly.

"I did not mean to hurt you, Mr. Paris," Penny said, her voice soft and, seemingly, sincere. She reached out towards the biobed, only to draw her hands back before touching his leg. "I thought for sure that someone on such a dangerous mission, a part of your bridge team, would have his aura unlocked."

Paris blinked. "Aura?"

"Whatever it is she's emitting, I'd wager," the Doctor said, now scanning Penny from the top of her curls to the toe of her boots. At his words a shimmering green light appeared on the surface of her skin, seeming to be both a part of and separate from her. "Huh. Fascinating."

Penny nodded. Crisis averted and conversation turned scientific, she seemed to shake off the previous anxiety, beginning to bounce with a child-like glee. "Yes! Where I come from everyone has aura — it is the manifestation of our souls — but only a few are able to use it. You must train for a very long time and then your aura can protect you!" Penny looked down at her gloved hands, deflating just a bit. "I would like to show you, but I am not a human girl. Or a faunus one. Aura creates a shield to absorb damage and it can heal minor wounds, but though I am the first synthetic being to generate aura, my body is inorganic. Injuring myself would not provide you with the demonstration my friends could give you. I am sorry."

"That's, uh..." Paris pinched the bridge of his nose. "Let me see if I understand this. You're sorry that you're not the one who's injured and instantly healing?"

"Yes."

"Right. Well, that's enough alternate reality for one day." Paris hoped down from the bed, patting Penny's shoulder. "Don't even worry about it, kid. Doc's given me a clean bill of health — "

"I've done nothing of the sort. There's clearly something wrong with you, though nothing I’m capable of fixing."

" — and you saved me from another of Tuvok's drills. Can't tell you how grateful I am."

Paris only had two inches on Penny, if that, but she looked up at him like he was larger than life. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. Safety drills with a Vulcan? That's this reality's torture. You're a hero, Penny, no question."

The Doctor was just opening his mouth to remind Lieutenant Paris of their protocols, which included trying to limit the subjective information given to visiting species, when the door opened and in stumbled Ensign Kim.

His expression was poised somewhere between worry and humor. It was, all in all, an unbecoming look.

"Salutations, Harry!" Penny gave a rather exaggerated wave considering they were only a few feet apart. Kim playfully held up his hands, warding off an advance.

"Don't tell me you're injured too," the Doctor said, but it seemed the trio was inclined to ignore him. What utterly rude behavior. He'd certainly never experienced that before.

Harry slung one arm around Penny's shoulders, his other over Paris', drawing the two close together. "Do you want to know a secret?"

"Oh yes!"

"Depends on the secret, Harry..."

He shot a feral grin at Paris. "Remember the fight last month? Gordon laying into Maria over those power couplings?"

The Doctor certainly remembered. It wasn't every day he got to extract a fork from a man's back. Not that Maria had pushed Gordon onto the utensil on purpose. Their rather dramatic fight had led to an equally dramatic makeup, the majority of which, sadly, took place in his sickbay.

"Well," Harry went on, "the Captain wanted me to install some cameras in the mess hall. The whole ship, really, given the number of anomalies we've encountered, you among them." He poked Penny in the ribs, eliciting a giggle. "But the majority of incidents tends to happen over meals, for whatever reason, and what I'm getting at is that I now have a recording of Tom Paris getting tackled by a little girl and crying like a baby."

"Delete it," Tom said at the exact moment Penny apologized again. For a second their three voices overlapped, demands, guilt, and elation all blending together. The Doctor observed the strange phenomenon, trying to follow what precisely had taken place. Something about Lieutenant Paris sharing his replicator rations, thus earning said, rib-crushing hug? Not that it mattered. The point, according to Ensign Kim, was that he'd secured the best moment in Voyager history on tape and, yes, he'd already sent a copy to everyone on board.

Such interactions, though humorous in their own way, were not meant for a professional environment. The Doctor had just opened his mouth to tell them all to get out, take the reality-bending anomaly with you, when the Captain saved him the trouble.

"Ensign Kim, Lieutenant Paris, please report to my ready room immediately."

"You're busted," Paris sang, doing a strange little dance.

"I'm busted? You're the one who tried to counterfeit extra rations for her — !"

And away they went, bickering all the while. The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief.

That is, until he realized that Penny hadn't gone with them.

"Ah... hello?"

"Salutations!"

The Doctor winced. "No need to shout. I'm right beside you."

"Oh. I am sorry." Penny came even closer, rocking forward on the balls of her feet. "Mr. Paris called you 'Doctor.' My father is a doctor too. He is the one who built me."

"And he did quite a remarkable job of it," he said, taking another few, discrete scans. "But I am a medical doctor, not a... biological engineer, I suppose, and as impressive a specimen as you are, I have a great deal of work to do. Not the least of which is adding your information to the ship's database in case your presence causes more than just a cracked rib. Because we certainly wouldn't want to inform the Chief Medical Officer of a new passenger, now would we? So if you would please...?" The Doctor made a few shooing motions that he hoped she understood. There was no way to tell how people in her reality might communicate, especially through something as complex as body language.

Case in point: Penny gave him a salute in return. The Doctor could only stare. No one had ever saluted him before.

...he rather liked it.

"Doctor?" Another hiss as the doors opened. Penny began vibrating.

"Salutations, Kes!"

The Doctor winced. "Is that the only greeting you know?"

"Says the man who begins every conversation with 'Please state the nature of the medical emergency.'"

Today was just a bundle of discoveries. The Doctor found that he didn't like the look Kes was casting him, nor the implications of her statement. "I tried others," he defended himself. "That was the best way to greet my fellow crewmembers! It's what I prefer, thank you very much."

"'Salutations' is what I prefer too," Penny said, seeming to have missed his earlier criticism. "It's such a fun, happy word, don't you think?"

"I don't — I'm not — " The Doctor cut himself off with a huff. From the corner of his eye he saw Kes snatch a vial off the nearby tray — Ensign Harver's medication — and give a jaunty wave and she trotted out the door. He'd raised his finger to point sternly at Penny, turned it on Kes, only to turn it back when she abandoned him. Rude. 

"I am a doctor," he said, “not an entertainer. It is my job to fix any and all medical problems that may develop on this ship, not to have fun with wordplay. I'm not programmed for fun."

"...programmed?"

Dismissing the whispered word, the Doctor decided that the best course of action was to simply ignore the girl. She was clearly attached to the rest of the crew already, so if he ceased engaging with her she would become bored and leave him in peace. However, no sooner had he turned away then Penny had zipped in front of him, demonstrating that impressive speed again. One moment there were the pristinely white walls of his sickbay, the next a mass of red and green had assaulted his vision, not unlike an exuberant Christmas tree. The Doctor stumbled back with a squawk.

"You are programmed? You are like me!" she cried, snatching his hand. He was too stunned to immediately pull away and Penny took full advantage of his shock, poking and prodding at his palm with an intensity he might have otherwise admired. "You feel very human. Father said that I must not get too close to people. They might notice the metal I am made of, but your father has done a most excellent job! I would never have know that you are an android too."

The description of Doctor Zimmerman as his father made something hot coil in the pit of the Doctor's nonexistent stomach, the feeling undercut only by the strange sensation of Penny holding his hand. Yes, now that she'd mentioned it, he could feel the difference: she possessed a heavier, less pliable appendage than a human would. It wasn't unpleasant, just an intimacy he hadn't asked for, and the Doctor snatched his fingers back, settling on the easiest of her assumptions to correct.

He straightened his shirt, adopting a sardonic smile. "I am not an android, I am a hologram. I am produced using a magnetic containment field and I can modulate my own projection to interact with the matter around us, or pass through it, if I so choose. It is a very convincing imitation of life, dependent on the ship's computers and the projectors in this room. In short, my existence is a far less impressive display of technological advancement than yours, something I suspect Lieutenant Torres would greatly admire. Perhaps you should visit her and leave me in peace."

Penny didn't leave though, just continued to stare up at him, obscenely innocent. "Imitation?"

"Are you programmed to repeat whatever I say? Perhaps I should be clearer: please leave!"

"You are not an imitation."

Reports were a common occurrence on Voyager, of first contacts, missions gone wrong, the current status of the ship. The Doctor considered himself quite qualified to explain any and all situations he might experience and, due to his increased memory, was arguably in a better position to provide an objectively accurate account of events. It was rather a point of pride, in fact. Yet if the Captain had asked him to explain the change that had just taken place, he would have been at a loss. Penny was a kind and soft-spoken girl, outside of her exuberance, of course. Yet someone different stood before him now, hard-eyed and burning with passion. Quite literally. The Doctor felt her core temperature rising by several degrees, the space between them growing hot as her mechanics responded to whatever emotion was currently coursing through her circuits.

How interesting, in a rather intimidating way. 

"I'm... not?" The Doctor suspected that any disagreement would be a mistake.

Penny furiously shook her head, curls whipping about her face. "You are not! And I find it very upsetting to hear you speak that way. I... I suppose Ruby must have been very upset too."

Ruby?

The Doctor didn't get the chance to ask. Penny grabbed his hand again, gripping it with a strength that made him better appreciate Lieutenant Paris' injuries.

"I used to think as you do, Doctor," she said, all green-eyed intensity. "That I was not a real girl because my father built me, because I could do more than a human girl could and, sometimes, less than as well, but I was wrong. And you..." Penny took a deep breath, her face lighting up with a smile. "You’ve got a heart and a soul. I can feel it. You think just because you're got a computer and projectors instead of nuts and bolts that makes you any less real than me?"

"I... no." And to his intense surprise, the Doctor found that he meant it. So what if he didn't have a physical stomach to experience anxiety in? Or if he could only exist in here and the holodeck? He thought, felt, could learn, make decisions... what else was life, really? Unconsciously, the Doctor squeezed Penny’s hand back. "You’re right. I’m not an imitation, but the real thing. Quite a stellar example of life too, if I do say so myself."

Penny squealed and flung her arms around him, pulling him into one of those deadly hugs. The Doctor winced, hesitantly reaching up to pat her back, but it appeared that this quick formality wouldn't appease her as it did Ensign Kim. With a sigh he rolled his eyes and resigned himself to the attention.

It wasn't horrible.

"I am so very glad that I have made a new friend today," Penny said, rocking him side-to-side.

"Oh. Are we friends now?"

"Yes!"

"Ah, well then, as a friend..." The Doctor cleared his throat, letting her take just a little more of his weight. "I don't suppose you have any advice on choosing a name?"

[ezrisdax-archive]

b7 + texted the wrong person (feel free to also combine it with a group chat AU) for the sapphic september bingo!

also here on ao3 for my sapphic september bingo card~

~~

September 1st 2376, 18:54

[ace pilot changed the group name to party bus]

you wouldn't like me when I'm angry: tom why?

Tuvok: Captain, permission to transfer.

sad clarinet noises: we're in the delta quadrant? where are you transferring to??

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: permission denied

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: you're suffering alongside me tuvok

Tuvok: Captain at least change your name here.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: no.

  September 1st 2376, 21:12

[you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry >> Seven of Nine]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I’m bored, meet me at the holodeck

Seven of Nine: If you feel you have insufficient work I can provide some more. I believe the warp drive coils need to be looked at.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: my warp coils are fine and don’t touch them.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I meant to message harry

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry:  you guys just both start with ‘s’ and I wasn’t paying attention.

Seven of Nine: Ah, I am a victim of you impulsiveness then.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: lighten up seven, it’s just a mistake. even you can make those.

Seven of Nine: Have you found flaws in my work?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: in the work no.

Seven of Nine: You took seventeen minutes to answer, I assume you were going over my work.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I was trying to be tactful for once. you could learn how yourself.

Seven of Nine: You meant to say something else then?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: learn to read between the lines, seven.

September 1st 2376, 22:24

[Seven of Nine >> you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry]

Seven of Nine: I find it difficult to discern the tone in these chats.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: now who’s taking too long to respond.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: okay I get it.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: look just assume most of us have a second meaning behind what we type.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I’ve learned it’s easier to just get that most people don’t mean what they say the way they say it.

Seven of Nine: That could have been written at once.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: lesson two:

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: learning to text.

 September 2nd 2376, 07:40

[party bus]

ace pilot changed their name to captain proton

captain proton: you can all call me captain, it’s okay

sad clarinet noises changed their name to mom’s not home play the forbidden clarinet

captain proton: seriously harry? you were supposed to change it to buster kincaid

mom’s not home play the forbidden clarinet: why do I always have to be the sidekick, tom?

captain proton: okay that’s captain first of all

Seven of Nine: I believe no one will refer to you with that title.

Seven of Nine: Nor is anyone interested in your juvenile holodeck adventures within this chat.

captain proton: wow rude, seven

mom’s not home play the forbidden clarinet: hang on, Seven did you just text twice?

captain proton: oh no seven’s been infected again, @virtuoso you online yet?

virtuoso: I am always online, Lieutenant, benefits of being a holoprogram.

Seven of Nine: I am functioning at peak performance.

Seven of Nine: I was merely informed by Lieutenant Torres that this is how humans communicate.

captain proton: you’re listening to b’elanna?? you never listened when harry and I tried to teach you to use this chat.

Seven of Nine: Lesson six:

Seven of Nine: “Never listen to Tom and Harry.”

mom’s not home play the forbidden clarinet: that’s probably for the best but @you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry, rude

chakot-eyyyyyy: I truly taught b’elanna the right lessons in life.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url is online

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: tom believe me when I say I’m the only captain allowed in this chat.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url changed captain proton’s name to demoted™

demoted™ permission changed

mom’s not home play the forbidden clarinet changed their name to buste(d) kincaid

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry is online

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: savage

great talaxian bake off: breakfast is ready everyone, for today I’ve got a selection of human and hanonian delicacies, with the substation of leola roots of course but don’t worry I’m certain you won’t be able to tell the difference. why I’ll bet if I hadn’t said a word you’d never even know.

great talaxian bake off: except that I did just tell you then.

great talaxian bake off: oops.

Tuvok is offline

 September 2nd 2376, 09:44

[you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry >> Seven of Nine]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: not bad seven

Seven of Nine: I am not certain I should be seeking your approval.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: and you ruined it

Seven of Nine: I take that to be sarcasm?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: you can take it however you like

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: are you not coming to breakfast?

Seven of Nine: I have already taken my meal.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: no people watching to learn how to socialize today?

Seven of Nine: I believe you were against me doing that.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: no I didn’t like you doing it to me

Seven of Nine: You were a fascinating subject.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: you say the nicest things

Seven of Nine: I did not mean to insult you with that.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: no I know that now.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: just get down here and socialize already

Seven of Nine: Very well.

 September 2nd 2376, 19:32

[you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry >> Seven of Nine]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: meet me in the holodeck in ten

Seven of Nine: I believe Ensign Kim is on duty right now.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: yeah which is why that message was for you

Seven of Nine: I see.

Seven of Nine: What is the activity we will be doing?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: sparring >:)

Seven of Nine: Very well.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: lesson eighteen:

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: just say ‘okay’

Seven of Nine: Very well.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I know that one was on purpose.

Seven of Nine is offline

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: well played seven

  September 2nd 2376, 22:17

[you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry >> Seven of Nine]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: don’t say anything

Seven of Nine: This conversation was initiated by you.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: shut up

Seven of Nine: I am uncertain what you mean.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: oh you know exactly what I mean

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: don’t think I don’t know you play the ‘pretend not to know social cues’ on purpose when it suits you

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I’ll win the next round seven don’t you worry

Seven of Nine: I was not concerned.

Seven of Nine: Except perhaps for your shoulder.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: shut up

Seven of Nine: Is this to be a regular event then?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: depends

Seven of Nine: On what?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: did you enjoy it?

Seven of Nine: It was not bad.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: yes or no seven

Seven of Nine: The experience is repeatable

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: ugh, yes or no seven?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: if you don’t want to spend time with me don’t worry I won’t take offense to that

Seven of Nine is offline

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: guess that answers it

  September 2nd 2376, 23:48

[Seven of Nine >> you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry]

Seven of Nine: Yes.

Seven of Nine: I would like to spend more time with you.

Seven of Nine is offline

 September 3rd 2376, 06:27

[you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry >> Seven of Nine]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: come down for breakfast then

Seven of Nine: You are up early.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: you said you were taking breakfast earlier than us

Seven of Nine: I shall acquire coffee then.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I didn’t think you drank that

Seven of Nine: I do not enjoy it.

Seven of Nine: You however do.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: oh

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: just with a little milk

Seven of Nine: I am aware.

Seven of Nine: I noticed you drinking it as such during the time I was observing you.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: that’s….weirdly sweet seven

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: stalker

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I’ll get you some nutritional supplements

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: even typing that sounds gross

Seven of Nine: I prefer it to the current food choices.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: actually looking at what neelix made this morning I can’t blame you

Seven of Nine: Then will you be picking one up for yourself?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: hell no

 September 3rd 2376, 08:29

[buste(d) kincaid >> you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry]

buste(d) kincaid: did you eat breakfast with seven this morning?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: yeah

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: what about it?

buste(d) kincaid: texting her a lot too

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: get to the point Starfleet

buste(d) kincaid: 👀

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: go look elsewhere

buste(d) kincaid: I’m just saying

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: maybe I just get that it’s not easy to understand a ship full of humans all the time when you feel like something else

buste(d) kincaid: b’elanna

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: don’t

buste(d) kincaid: all right. I’ll drop it for now.

buste(d) kincaid: but if you need romantic music playing during your dates I know a great clarinetist

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: there’s someone else on this ship who plays?

buste(d) kincaid: ouch

 September 3rd 2376, 08:42

[party bus]

demoted™: can I get permission to change my name again?

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: no.

demoted™: @Tuvok c’mon, you’ve got admin rights on here too, right?

Tuvok is offline

buste(d) kincaid changed their name to I stan 1 (one) Vulcan

demoted™: shut up harry

  September 3rd 2376, 09:32

[betting pool]

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: I want to change my bet to this fourth week this month

demoted™: hey insider knowledge is cheating

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: I can’t read all of a sudden

chakot-eyyyyyy: change of timeframe noted

great talaxian bake off: oh do you know something mr kim?

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: maybe. maybe not.

chakot-eyyyyyyy: by the way captain, I changed the roster a little

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: putting seven and b’elanna on the same shift all week is also cheating @chakot-eyyyyyyy

chakot-eyyyyyyy: you did it last week

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: I can’t read all of a sudden

virtuoso: is there an epidemic going on I need to know about? Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: we’re fine, doctor. don’t worry about it.

virtuoso: very well. Seven appeared to be in good spirits this morning.

chakot-eyyyyyyy: she and b’elanna were seen leaving the mess hall together

chakot-eyyyyyyy: arguing, but it’s progress

great talaxian bake off: they did seem quite close while they were eating. a shame I couldn’t convince seven to try my new oatmeal, much better than those nutritional supplements she keeps eating.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: we’ll get them there yet

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: put me down for first week of next month

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: I’ll hedge my bets

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: now everyone get back to work

demoted™: @chakot-eyyyyyyy, you have admin rights, right?

chakot-eyyyyyyy is offline

 September 4th 2376, 21:38

[you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry >> Seven of Nine]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: does everyone seem to be watching us more lately?

Seven of Nine: It would appear so.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I’ll question harry what that’s about

Seven of Nine: I do not enjoy the scrutiny.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: well now you know how I felt

Seven of Nine: Noted.

Seven of Nine: Apologies.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: hang on, I’m screenshotting this.

Seven of Nine: I will delete this thread from both our padds.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: good luck hacking mine

Seven of Nine: I have considerable more patience to try.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: and I’m a damn good engineer and you know it

Seven of Nine: You have a considerable skill there.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: wow and an apology and a compliment

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: damn maybe tom and harry were right and you are compromised

Seven of Nine: I am not suffering from any internal or external conditions

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: doubt

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: your not bad at your job either seven

Seven of Nine: *You’re

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I take it back

Seven of Nine: I have already committed it to memory.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: dammit seven

Seven of Nine is offline

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: STOP DOING THAT

  September 6th 2376, 06:45

[Seven of Nine >> you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry]

Seven of Nine: You are late.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: sorry, we had an emergency in engineering last night and they woke me up

Seven of Nine: Did you requite assistance?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: maybe later

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: it’s all set now

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: vorik caught the mistake made in time

Seven of Nine: I presume it was not your own.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: no, it was just one of my staff

Seven of Nine: Should I speak to them?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: don’t terrorize my staff seven

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: that’s my job

Seven of Nine: Your coffee is cold, I am ordering you a new one.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I don’t have any replicator credits left for this week

Seven of Nine: I am using mine

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: oh

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: thanks

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I have to head straight to engineering, carrey just pinged

Seven of Nine: I will meet you there.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: seriously don’t terrorize my staff

  September 6th 2376, 15:47

[you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry >> Seven of Nine]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: hey you texted first this morning

Seven of Nine: Should I not have?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: no no, I was just surprised

Seven of Nine: I see.

Seven of Nine: I will endeavor to do so more often.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: yeah

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: you do that

Seven of Nine: Sarcasm?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: maybe not this time

Seven of Nine: I see.

Seven of Nine: My attention is required in astrometrics, I shall see you tonight at the holodeck.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: make it dinner

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: to make up for breakfast

Seven of Nine: I will see you then.

  September 8th 2376, 17:39

[betting pool]

great talaxian bake off: they arrived at dinner together!

  September 8th 2376, 17:42

[I stan 1 (one) Vulcan >> you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry]

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: 👀

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: don’t say anything

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: 👀👀👀

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry is offline

  September 9th 2376, 08:53

[party bus]

demoted™: @Tuvok, c’mon!

Tuvok is offline

demoted™: @chakot-eyyyyyy

chakot-eyyyyyy is offline

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: lol

 September 9th 2376, 12:00

[Seven of Nine >> you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry]

Seven of Nine: What is the importance of celebrating someone’s birthday?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: it’s just showing them you were glad they were born

Seven of Nine: It often appears to be an excuse for celebration for that sake of it.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: that too.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: but mostly the first thing

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: it’s just nice to know people care about that enough

Seven of Nine: Another important human lesson?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I’m the last person you should really ask for those

Seven of Nine: I find your information on them to be enlightening.

Seven of Nine: You have a different perspective I find easier to understand.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: us outsiders have to stick together, hunh?

Seven of Nine: Indeed.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: then meet me for lunch. I’ll save you some cake.

Seven of Nine: I do not require cake.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: seven

Seven of Nine: I shall be there shortly.

  September 11th 2376, 16:08

[Seven of Nine >> I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url]

Seven of Nine: Captain, I have a personal inquiry.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: oh?

Seven of Nine: What is the conclusion to draw in enjoying someone’s company.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: could be a lot of things seven

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: friendship, romance, anything in between

Seven of Nine: I see.

Seven of Nine: There is no logical conclusion then.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: do you want to talk about it more?

Seven of Nine: I find myself drawn towards someone. I am uncertain what this means.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: how do you feel about them compared to let’s say…the Doctor

Seven of Nine: Ah.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: ah? You’re typically more succinct seven

Seven of Nine: I have to go.

Seven of Nine is offline

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: good luck seven

  September 11th 2376, 17:21

[Seven of Nine >> you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry]

Seven of Nine: I will be unable to attend dinner or the holodeck tonight.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: ?? everything okay?

Seven of Nine is offline

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: seven?

  September 12th 2376, 06:29

[you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry >> Seven of Nine]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: you going to stand me up for breakfast too?

  September 13th 2376, 10:58

[you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry >> Seven of Nine]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I need your input on the latest dilithium crystal chamber designs.

Seven of Nine: I have sent Ensign Kim your way.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: seven

Seven of Nine is offline

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: fine

  September 13th 2376, 20:47

[I stan 1 (one) Vulcan >> you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry]

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: b’elanna?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: don’t

  September 14th 2376, 09:18

[I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url >> Seven of Nine]

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: you still have to be able to work with her seven

Seven of Nine: I shall endeavor to do so.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: what happened?

Seven of Nine: I made a mistake.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: caring isn’t a mistake seven

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: it’s the human in all of us

Seven of Nine: I did not wish to be human.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: neither did any of us

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: we are anyway

Seven of Nine: I will speak to her.

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: good because I was about to make it captain’s orders

  September 14th 2376, 09:34

[party bus]

demoted™: this isn’t even funny anymore

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: disagree

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: disagree

chakot-eyyyyyy: disagree

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: the people have spoken

Tuvok: It has improved crew moral.

demoted™: tuvok?!?!

Tuvok is offline

   September 15th 2376, 07:37

[Seven of Nine >> you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry]

Seven of Nine: I wish to apologize.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I don’t care

Seven of Nine: I attempted to speak to you at breakfast.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: you’re lucky I didn’t shove that coffee in your face, seven

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: also saying you wish to apologize isn’t an apology

Seven of Nine: I am sorry.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: good for you

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry is offline

  September 15th 2376, 16:29

[you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry >> I stan 1 (one) Vulcan]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: was this you?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: [img: cake]

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: no? can I have some?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: help me figure this out and maybe

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: I’ll ask around

  September 15th 2376, 16:33

[betting pool]

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: hey anyone leave b’elanna cake?

great talaxian bake off: :ooooooooo

great talaxian bake off: seven asked to use my kitchen earlier today. she didn’t let me see what she was making though, or ask much for my help.

demoted™: the plot thickens

  September 15th 2376, 20:47

[you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry >> Seven of Nine]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: did you leave me cake?

Seven of Nine: Yes.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: why?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: is this another apology?

Seven of Nine: I was informed that people celebrate others birthdays as an appreciate for the other being alive.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: my birthday is tomorrow

Seven of Nine: I did not wish to distract you from celebrating with ones you cared about.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I see

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: stop moping seven, come to my damn party that tom keeps saying he’s not throwing

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: thanks for the cake

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I’m not mad anymore

Seven of Nine: Your username is incorrect.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: ??

Seven of Nine: I still like you even when you are angry.

Seven of Nine is offline

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: what is that supposed to mean?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: dammit seven

  September 16th 2376, 06:26

[Seven of Nine >> you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry]

Seven of Nine: Happy birthday.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: bring coffee

Seven of Nine: As you’d like.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: and that better come with an explanation.

Seven of Nine: If you’d like.

Seven of Nine: I dealt with my feelings poorly. I could not understand them and they confused me.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: they do that

Seven of Nine: After examination however I would prefer you in my life knowing the truth and that my actions were unfair to you.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: and the truth is?

Seven of Nine: I have feelings for you that are not just of friendship.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: hunh.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: bring me a kiss too

Seven of Nine: You are taking this better than predicted.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I’m unpredictable seven, keep up

Seven of Nine: That would be an oxymoron.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: your an oxymoron

Seven of Nine: *You’re

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: just get over here seven

Seven is offline

  September 16th 2376, 07:04

[betting pool]

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: pay up

demoted™: this isn’t fair

chakot-eyyyyyy: actually harry someone beat you by having the third week of this month

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: what?! who?

chakot-eyyyyyy: tuvok

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan: tuvok?!

demoted™: tuvok?!

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: tuvok?!

great talaxian bake off: :o mr vulcan?

virtuoso: this simply can’t be right commander

Tuvok: I believe I was ordered to participate in this by you Captain.

Tuvok: It was simply logical.

Tuvok is offline

I stan 1 (one) Vulcan changed their name to the absolute betrayal

   September 16th 2376, 13:17

[party bus]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: who started the betting pool? which one of you was it?

the absolute betrayal: tom

chakot-eyyyyyy: tom

I had sex with amelia earhart and all I got was this lousy url: tom

virtuoso: Lieutenant Paris

great talaxian bake off: mr paris

the absolute betrayal: who told?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: tuvok just handed me a bunch of replicator ration credits and told me where they came from

the absolute betrayal: well happy birthday?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: blocked

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: @demoted™ I want to talk

demoted™ is offline

  September 16th 2376, 17:41

[a collective of two]

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: there, now we have our own chat away from the traitors

Seven of Nine: Was that not just our private messages anyway?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: shut up seven

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I can’t believe they did this!

Seven of Nine: It would seem in line with previous actions. You yourself have taken part in such betting pools.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: not the point

Seven of Nine: I see

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: come over

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I want a few more birthday presents from you.

Seven of Nine: That is an innuendo.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: you’re taking the fun out of flirting

Seven of Nine: Apologies.

Seven of Nine: I will be over when my shift finishes to make amends.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I could get used to this.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: hey seven

Seven of Nine: Yes?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: for the record I like you too

Seven of Nine: I have committed it to memory.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: you better have

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: don’t worry, it’ll just be the two of us for dinner and you don’t have to come to the party afterwards

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I know crowds aren’t your thing

Seven of Nine: I will adapt.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: the point is you don’t always have to

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: I’ve got your back either way

Seven of Nine: I appreciate the sentiment.

Seven of Nine: I am surprised by the title you have chosen for this chat.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: yeah well

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: so long as it’s an ex-borg turns out it’s not so bad

Seven of Nine: I see.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: lesson twenty

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: pick something to say other than that too

Seven of Nine: How many more lessons are there?

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: who knows. I’m still learning them too.

Seven of Nine: Then we shall learn them together.

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: yeah

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: yeah we will

Seven of Nine: I am off shift. I shall see you soon.

Seven of Nine is offline

you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry: see you soon

[galaxy-class]

Star Trek Voyager Chakotay/OC

Hello! This is the first fic I’ve ever written, it’s a 6k Chakotay/OC PWP with some fluff and touch starving sprinkled in here and there. Janeway has an honorable mention in the beginning because I love her, but this isn’t a J/C fic (at least not this time lol). Possible triggers under the cut! 

Possible triggers (If you think of anything to add let me know!): Alcohol consumption, descriptions of male/female sex, themes of dominance and submission (power dynamics between commander and subordinate), mild choking (hand on throat positioning), mild restraining (holding wrists, no ropes/equipment)

A thank you to @marigoldseesstars and @burntheparameters (and other friends not on tumblr so I’m unable to tag them) for encouraging me to post! I hope you guys like it and I welcome feedback good or bad! <3 

Chain of Command (Title is trash because I am trash, thank you!)

Although the Delta Quadrant was full of new experiences and discoveries, the days between each excursion were full of the necessary, albeit mundane, tasks that it takes to run a starship. Duty rosters, shift trades, meetings… Terribly dull, and yet required for the ship to function. Captain Janeway insisted on it. Looking out of some unnamed observation window with a distant gaze, she would lecture crew members who tried to oppose her strict adherence to protocol. “I know, believe me, and I’ve thought long and hard about whether or not it’s wrong for me to impose these rules on this crew, knowing that the institution upholding them is so far away… But these rules help bring us together. They give us purpose and cohesion, and remind us of our principals while we’re so far away from order and reason…” Most people stopped listening the second she got that look in her eye, knowing there isn’t any amount of complaint or protest that could change her mind. And it isn’t too terrible a concept anyway. After all, someone has to be the one to wipe off the com panels when they muck up with the fingerprints of the crew members who insist on using the touch features rather than the voice commands, and someone else has to review the available personnel to cover for Ensign Baytart’s requested personal time off and Tuvok's mandatory fitness training.

Chakotay felt the days growing shorter, while the workload of monotonous tasks crawled on before him. The days of course, where perfectly timed on the ship’s chronometer to ensure maximum efficiency among the crew while allowing for adequate time to rest and relax between shifts. It even took into account the differing night and day cycles each species had grown accustomed to on their home planets and calculated a perfect medium between the variables. What the ship’s computer did not account for however, was Chakotay’s tendency to linger in the small moments between tasks. How he would stop to appreciate the soft thread in a blanket gifted to him by a friend, or steal an extra second to smell the spices mixed in with Neelix’s latest “coffee” blend. And so, his days grew shorter, while the soft glow of the padds laid out on his work station encroached in his peripheral vision, beckoning him to finish up this week's chores. 

Chakotay stood from his chair stretching his arms and looked down at the bottom of his mug, no longer filled with the thick brown liquid Neelix described as “Better than coffee.” He chuckled to himself about what a luxury real coffee had become in this quadrant. ...Duty roster.. Hmm… Why don’t I just go down to each station and see who’s available… Maybe the crew will have some personal insight I could use… His thoughts began to trail off and he found himself wandering towards stellar cartography. 

As the cool metal doors slipped open, light poured in from the hall onto the darkened work stations of a diligent crew, carefully mapping out this new region of space. They had their work cut out for them, creating detailed maps based on Voyager’s data and comparing them to patchwork resources acquired along the way. Slowly adjusting their eyes to the bright light silhouetting Chakotay in the doorway, spines began to stiffen at the sight of their commanding officer. Lieutenant Kelly, who’d recently been promoted to this division, tripped over a few words beginning a report of their progress. “Sir! We didn’t expect- We’re currently running a scan on the left-”

Chakotay put his hand up in protest. “I was only wondering if anyone wanted to spend tomorrow on the bridge, Ensign Baytart requested a day off, and if I have to scroll through any more names on that padd I might just go crazy.” His expression was soft and lighthearted, but the crew shared nervous glances concerning the surprise visit from the ship’s first officer. “At ease” he insisted, and held out hope for a few more seconds that anyone would take up his offer. 

“I’ve never had bridge duty before” someone spoke up from the back of the room.

“Who is that?” He asked, trying to see through the dark. 

“Ensign Salva sir, I have.. some experience with being on the conn, just not Voyager’s bridge… If no one else wants the shift that is.” 

Ensign Bobbi Salva was not tall and commanding, nor did her voice carry well in any way that demanded attention, but she was never one to pass up a new opportunity. What else are star ships for? In fact, she had found herself in stellar cartography on a similar request. Although she was trained as a medical assistant, she found ways into almost every corner of the ship. A recent favourite of hers being the aeroponics bay, where Kes had invited her to learn about cultivating plants after spending time with her in sickbay. “Growing a plant is just like treating a patient” Kes would say to her, “You just have to know what they need, and they can flourish on their own.” She liked Kes, they were similar in size and stature, but very different in personality in a way that complimented each other well. Bobbi had a square face, and curly dark hair which she tried a variety of ways to pull back into the intricate designs that reminded her of all ways her mother would style her beautiful curls. She had high cheekbones, and deep set eyes that sparkled with reflections of scarlet in the dark brown of their center. Sometimes she appeared to have a bluish tint, her father insisted that she was mixed with a Bolian on her cousin’s grandmother’s aunt’s side of the family, but mostly she had olive undertones on lovely brown skin.

"Salva… Aren’t you usually working in sick bay? I wasn't aware of any personnel changes in that area of the ship" Chakotay started. 

"Well actually sir, it's a funny story really, me and Kes were in the aeroponics bay discussing-" 

"Sir, I apologize for interrupting, but if there is nothing further we do have a few more things to get done." said Lieutenant Kelly, who was admittedly happy that Salva had found something else to do. As interesting as Bobbi found it, stellar cartography was not her strong point. 

"Of course" Chakotay responded, "Salva if you'll come with me we can go over the details of the assignment. As you were Lieutenant." With that Bobbi followed Chakotay into the hall, leaving behind her curiosity for star maps and replacing it with apprehension about serving on the bridge. 

"Sick bay, aeroponics, stellar cartography, is there anywhere besides the bridge you haven't been Ensign?" Chakotay chuckled. 

Bobbi was struck with the sudden realization that, not only was she talking to the second highest in command on the ship, but she had neglected to inform him or anyone else about her incursions. 

"I, well, only went to sections that I was invited to observe or help by other crew members, I never meant to break protocol.." 

"That's alright, I was just curious." Chakotay let out a sigh. He knew most of the crew respected him, and he trusted them. In the Marquis however, things were different. Sure, he was their captain and they followed his command like any good crew would, but there was rarely tension between him and his subordinates solely on the basis of rank. Starfleet vessels are polished and prideful, and senior officers are revered for their accomplishments. Marquis ships are built on trust and bonds between crew members fighting for a cause they believe in, and sometimes respect in senior officers is only granted because they can hit harder than you can in a bar fight. A bit far off from the Starfleet sparkle of an extra pip. 

Tired from his daily tasks and determined to have a sense of normalcy, he started again, “Are you looking to explore another career option? We could always use extra hands in engineering.” said Chakotay.

Bobbi let out a breath and relaxed her shoulders, realising how tense she had been. Chakotay’s warm voice and reassurance took away some of the stress she was carrying around while trying to maintain an aura of professionalism. “Actually I love sick bay. I’ve never felt more right than when I found medicine, I had changed my area of study so many times before…” A small smile escaped her lips, thinking of how many nights she spent worrying she would never find a place to fit in, now feeling so at home with a medical tricorder in her hands. “But as much as I love it, I’m still so curious about everything else. I want to see it, be a part of it for a small time. And seeing the other divisions in action reminds me just how much I love what I do.” she laughed, and looked up at Chakotay to see that he was smiling too. She never noticed before, how his face seemed to light up when he smiled, and caught herself holding her breath again. 

He stopped in the hall outside of his room. “I’m glad to hear you’ve found your calling. It’s a rare gift to know where you fit in. But I’m happy you’ll be joining me on the bridge, even if it’s just one shift. How about I make us some tea and we’ll go over the details of your assignment?” 

…Glad I’ll be joining him on the bridge.. ‘Joining me’ he said… Wait, his quarters? The First Officer’s quarters? Ensign Salva felt her cheeks flush, and the little slice of Bolian blue in her veins sparkled through, turning her subtle blush into a beautiful, almost purple crimson. 

He was nearly caught off guard, watching her face. She’s almost glowing, I wonder what... oh I should have realised that would make her uncomfortable… “Of course we can go in the dining hall if you prefer, I just have to get the padds, I’m sorry if-”

“No no it’s alright, I could use some tea.” She looked up at him again, settling her gaze on the part in his lips forming  what was going to be the next word in his apology, turning her glance quickly back towards the doors to his room. He smiled and welcomed her in.  

Chakotay’s room was softly lit, and sprinkled with things that had been given to him by the people he cared about. A lovely red and orange throw blanket from his grandmother, a crystal set of whisky tumblers from an old pilot he used to know, little pieces of the people who’d helped shape him. 

“Tea first, then work.” He gestured towards the couch for her to sit, and walked over to the replicator for two cups of yerba mate. A red, earthy tea, made from the leaves of a South American holly tree. One of his favourite blends that he didn’t often indulge in, because he didn’t want to spoil it. Tonight it felt appropriate. 

“Bridge duty on Voyager? Maybe I need something stronger than tea.” She could feel herself smiling nervously. Why did I say that? He’s going to think I’m not up for the challenge… 

Thinking for a second, tilting his head ever so slightly, “You know what you’re right. Let me get something… Here it is, warm vanilla brandy from a group of Bajorins that helped us restock on a very cold, very long night with the Marquis. It compliments the tea perfectly.” Adding the brandy to the tea, he joined her on the couch. ...What I wouldn’t give to see that lovely color in her face again… We’re supposed to be discussing bridge duty, I think…

As he sat down next to her she crossed her legs up onto the couch and held the tea in her lap, feeling the warm mug in her hands, letting the steam from the mixture of herbs and brandy curl up around her and closing her eyes for a second. Has he always been so welcoming and kind? Is he always this easy to be around? We’re supposed to be discussing bridge duty, I think… 

He put his arm on the back of the couch, and rested his cheek against his fist “Where are you from?” he wondered. 

“From?” she blinked 

Chakotay smiled and put his hand down in his lap, mirroring her posture and feeling the warmth in the mug he was holding. “Yes, before Starfleet, did you live on Earth?” 

“Oh no, I mean I’ve been there plenty of times, but my dad worked in one of the schools on Mars, he’s a teacher there for kindergarteners.” Bobbi laughed and looked up as if she was watching a memory play on the ceiling, “He used to tell stories to his kids about me being in Starfleet, he was always so proud of me. I wonder what he told them when…” She stopped and looked down, it wasn’t a happy memory any more, not knowing if he had given up hope that her ship would be found, not knowing if she had given up hope that they would make it back either. 

“Hey, I’m sorry.” Chakotay reached his hand out to put his palm on her knee. “We’ll make it back, I have to believe that. I’m sure your father misses you a great deal.” He let out a small smile, “Honestly I would miss you too, you seem like that type of person, who sticks with someone when you’ve gone.” He didn’t even notice that he had moved closer to her.

He may not have noticed his movement, but she was acutely aware of his hand on her leg, and the distance closing between them. She noticed that she leaned into his touch, and she noticed that she was hanging onto every word in that soothing deep tone of his. “I.. thank you sir.” Bobbi felt her cheeks flush again, and cast her eyes down at his hand. Am I flirting with the first officer? Is… Is the first officer flirting with me? She felt the brandy warming her stomach and a prickle at the tips of her fingers. Oh, this is real alcohol she thought for a second. It had been a while since she had the comfort of a genuine drink, and synthehol just doesn’t have that same feeling. 

He paused for a second at the sight of her. That wonderful color, shading the edges of her cheeks and the tips of her ears, stole the words he was trying to formulate. Chakotay didn’t usually like being called “sir,” he always thought it sounded a little pretentious, and while he understood and respected the purpose of formality on a ship, sometimes he just wanted a regular conversation. So then, why did it sound so good when she said it? He was fighting a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth, and felt that same warmth in his veins from the brandy that he hadn’t felt in some time. 

“I really appreciate you making me feel so... welcome.” She said, unsure if she should change the subject or push it further. She reached over and placed her cup on the coffee table, and watched as he mirrored her movement, setting his down as well. “I couldn’t have been your first choice for Baytart’s replacement, but I appreciate the opportunity, sir.” she finished, deciding to turn the conversation back to work. Even still, she couldn’t help but wonder where it might have gone instead. I’ve got to be reading too much into this… There’s no way he’s... I just need to get my thoughts together for a second… 

There it is again, ‘Sir’... It felt like honey coming off her lips. The way she said it, like she didn’t need to say it, like she had an inside joke and it was a challenge. “Honestly” Chakotay responded, trying not to linger too long on the thought, “I had no idea who I was going to pick. I spent so long looking at names on a screen, I just had to see someone face to face instead.” This time he did notice that his hand was still on her knee and he had, in fact, moved closer to her. He noticed too that she’d shifted positions and now the other leg was down on the floor, pushing her very slightly closer to him. Before he realised what he was saying, he started saying it. “I’m glad it was you that decided to say something, and that you came with me tonight. That subtle blue is so beautiful in your skin, has anyone ever mentioned that before?” His voice grew quieter and deeper, his eyes trailed across the line of her jaw. 

Oh… This wasn’t her over thinking anything, she realised. And now that she had figured it out, she wasn’t letting it go. Now it was a challenge, if it wasn’t before. Her eyelids lowered and she chose her words carefully, curious how far he was willing to take this conversation without her making it too easy. “Is that so? No, I don’t think I’ve been told that before.” Bobbi could still feel the heat in her face, and was finding it more and more difficult to take her focus off his lips, his shoulders, the feeling of his hand still on her leg, until she felt herself reach down and softly lace her fingers onto the spaces between his. It was almost jarring, how incredible it felt, the softness and warmth of his hand, all from a very small touch that she didn’t realise she needed until it was so obvious that she needed it. 

Chakotay could tell she was playing at something and could see the twitch of excitement on her face, even though she answered him so sparingly. …’Is that so’ Oh, I think you know it is, and I would love to see what else you know… But the feeling of her hand on his brought him out of his trance. He looked down at her delicate fingers fitting perfectly between his, knowing how good it felt to be touched. “Ensign… Bobbi. This wasn’t my intention with bringing you here. If you’re not comfortable, I would never impose…” He tilted his head back up to meet her gaze, “What I mean to say is that I don’t want to cross any boundaries you might have.” 

“Commander, I could say the same to you. But I think, if it’s alright, that I would like to stay for a little while.” She held his stare intently while she spoke, to be sure he would not miss-hear her words. No, commander, I do think I will stay here with you… I think that’s exactly what I want to do. Again, her eyes found his lips, and she moved closer to his seat, sliding his hand with hers further up to the soft middle of her thigh. His fingers tightened their grip just slightly, like he couldn’t help it, like he had to feel more of her, and she nearly lost all of her focus at once. Not yet, she thought, I want to see what you do. You’re the commander, after all, so make a decision. Make a command. Dizzy with the thoughts of what he might do, she waited, giving him no more before he would respond. 

Commander… Say it again… “Then stay.” He placed his hand gently on her cheek, using his thumb to feel the curves of her face before pulling her to him until their foreheads met. “I’m going to kiss you.” It wasn’t a question, his voice was deep and quiet, and full of desire. 

“Then do it.” She whispered. He smelled sweet like the vanilla brandy mixed with the faintest trace of eucalyptus, and his hand felt strong on her face. She could barely contain her composure, waiting for his lips to meet hers. 

Her words felt like another challenge, and without hesitation he pressed his lips onto hers and felt her whole body melt into him. His hand slid up her thigh to around her waist, pulling her deeper into him, and he moved the other hand to the base of her neck where he could feel her draw in a breath between each kiss. She let out a moan that he could feel with the hand on her throat, and he pushed her back gently, stopping her in the middle of her ecstasy. Lifting a thumb to her chin, he pulled down and parted her lips with his hand, and drew his face in close again, just barely brushing the surface of her mouth with his own. “I like that sound, does this feel good?” While he asked, his other hand trailed along the inside of her thigh, making her gasp. “No, I asked you a question. Does that feel good?” His fingers tightened their grip on her leg. 

“Yes.” She whispered again. How could it not feel good? Please... The strength of his hands, his lips, his tongue, he was intoxicating, and she didn’t want him to stop. 

“Good.” His lips were still brushing hers, he felt her trying to move forward and pushed her back again. “You want more?” 

“Yes.”

“Yes what? You weren’t so shy before calling me ‘sir’ and ‘commander’. I even thought you liked it.”

Her eyes turned sharp and hungry, and she waited just a little while, testing his patience until she felt another squeez on her thigh. He wanted to hear her say it. 

“Yes, sir. I want more.” 

This time it was him that let out a moan as he pulled her back. He wanted more too, her skin, her warmth, he wanted to feel every part of her, and more than that, he wanted to make her feel good and watch her move and gasp with every new touch. She smelled like clove and she was soft, so soft he didn’t want to hurt her by gripping her too tight, but everytime he strengthened his grip he felt her lean further into it, deepening her intensity. He stopped her again, this time putting distance between them. “Stand up.” Chakotay ordered. He looked up at her and smiled with that warm inviting smile as she stood. “Good girl. I want you to take off your uniform, I want to look at you, will you do that?” 

“Yes sir.” She turned away from him, and when he started to speak out in protest she silenced him with a look. He was driving her wild with anticipation and now it was her turn. Very slowly she began to undo her clothes, leaving the back open for a few seconds before carefully pulling off one shoulder, then the other, and sliding out each arm purposefully, drawing the fabric down the length of her arms and past her hands, but holding up the front to keep herself covered. Then she slowly turned to face Chakotay. His expression was  intense, his lips parted at the sight of her and his hand was drawn up in his lap as if he was going to start pleasuring himself to her, but he stayed very still instead, watching her movements intently. She nearly forgot what she was doing when she saw him looking at her like that, like she was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. 

He waited patiently, saying nothing. She continued with her game, pulling the fabric slowly off each leg while holding the bulk of it in front of her with the other arm. Chakotay leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, eagerly watching her every move. Once the final items of clothing were removed, and she stood in front of him with only the drape of an empty uniform left to cover her, she took a step closer to him and left the last of the fabric to fall on the ground around her. He sat entranced in her shape only briefly before reaching up to grab her hand, pulling her into his lap. 

Her hands rested on his chest, and she straddled his lap. She was surprised at how comfortable he was physically, and how easy it was to follow his direction. It felt natural, like a game they were playing that they both knew the rules to, and she was fixated on his every next move. His hands began to move up her thighs, onto her hips, up her waist, and up the sides of her breasts to her shoulders. She held her breath, he wasn’t really touching her, not completely. Still dancing around the edges, making her wait, making her want him. One hand curled around the nape of her neck, and the other slid back down to her hips as she let out the breath she was holding in. 

“Look at you, you look stunning.” Both of his hands moved to her breasts and his feather light touch cupped them and brushed his thumbs over her nipples. She lifted her head back and groaned, reaching a hand down to touch herself, but Chakotay grabbed her wrist and stopped her. “No, not yet.” He was still softly stroking her hard nipple with his thumb while holding her wrist away from herself. 

“Please?” She let out a whimper. 

“Please what?” He said. 

“Please, I want yo-” She groaned again, interrupting her words and her thoughts with the feeling his hands were providing. 

He chuckled at her reaction to his touch and felt her squirm in his lap. “Please what?” he said again, and gently squeezed her breast in his hand, shifting his grip to use his index finger to tease her instead of his thumb. 

“Please, I want you to fuck me.” 

“Is that how you refer to me?” His hand moved up from her breast to her neck, with his index finger resting on the line of her jaw putting a small amount of pressure on her throat, just enough to notice. His other hand let go of her wrist daring her to try again, and moved to undo his own uniform. “You were doing so well before. If that’s really what you want then you’ll have to ask me the right way.” 

She watched as he unfastened his uniform and took the length of his cock into his hand, touching himself like he wouldn’t allow her to do, and she was breathless again. He pulled her face close to his with the hand around her neck, and continued to stroke the length of his shaft underneath her. She whimpered thinking about how good he would feel inside of her. He could feel the tension in her legs, and he knew she could only go so much longer before it would become too much. “Go on, say it.” He said between stolen kisses on her open mouth. 

“Please sir, I want you to fuck me.” 

Chakotay took his hand from himself and reached up to her pussy, feeling the wetness between her lips, sliding his fingers up onto her clit and massaging it slowly. She groaned deeply at his touch and her hips began to sway in motion with his fingers. “There, that wasn’t so hard. I want to hear you moan.” He worked his fingers faster on her clit and felt her body reacting in waves to the feeling. 

It felt so good, that’s really the best way to describe it. It felt so good and she felt herself move along with him, her muscles tensing and releasing with his changes in speed and pressure. “Mm it feels so good, don’t sto-” she moaned again, louder this time. And just as she was about to direct him not to, he stopped and pulled his hand away, back to himself. “You’re not done yet.” Bringing her up to that edge, watching her body, her face, he loved every second of it. With one hand still around her throat, he pushed her off his lap so they were both standing and kissed her deeply, letting his other hand explore her curves. 

“Wait.” It was her turn again. She pushed him away for a second and he waited to listen to her demands. “Let me take off your uniform.” He smiled as she moved her hands over the fabric, as slowly as she did for herself she unfastened his shirt and slid it off his broad shoulders, then moved to his undershirt, giving him light kisses on the stomach and chest as she pulled it up over his head. His pants, which were already partially undone, were the easiest to remove. She found herself laughing with him as he tried to step out of them after they pooled around his ankles, falling back onto the couch and taking her with him. Their laughter moved their bodies on one another in a way that brought her closer to him, and she could feel his warm skin against hers. She layed on top of him for a second, feeling him breathe, listening to his heart beat, and feeling his arms coil around her again.

His hands began to explore, and he felt her shifting on top of him. She sat up looking at him, and his hands slid back up to cup her breasts then back down again so his thumbs were resting on her sex. He began to rub her clit with his thumbs, watching her move to the feeling and moan. He reached for his cock with one hand, and pulled it up to slide between her pussy lips, not letting her have it inside her just yet, rubbing the tip against her clit and letting her wetness cover it’s length. She moaned, the most beautiful sound in the world, and grinded her hips back and forth over the length of his cock. She tried to reach down again to touch herself and intensify the feeling, but he pulled her wrist and sat up slightly, bringing both hands behind her back. “Not yet.” he whispered. He kissed up her neck, brushing his lips against her as he moved and she lifted her head back to feel his mouth and tongue on her skin. 

“You feel so good Bobbi.” Chakotay let out a moan, and wrapped both arms around her, pulling her around underneath him. His hips slid between her legs and he paused for another second, putting his hand back around her neck drawing her focus up at him. “Tell me what you want.”

She could barely form the words now, her head still spinning from the feeling of grinding on top of him. “I want to feel you inside of me, I want you to fuck me.” 

“Is that what you want?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

Her words were ringing in his ears …’yes, sir’... and he thrusted the length of his cock deep inside of her wet pussy, watching her face change as she gasped when he filled her. She moaned into his thrusts, and floated her hands up his arms onto his shoulders where she dug in her nails to his back. He felt her nails pierce his skin and thrusted deeper, and her hips matched his rhythm pushing herself harder onto him. His grip on her throat tightened slightly, and he pulled himself up to watch her body move and quiver. Her moans became louder and surrounded him, and he slowed his pace, carefully feeling every inch coming in and out of her. 

Her sex was like velvet, soft and hot around his cock, he moaned at the feeling of her legs beginning to shake. He came to a stop still inside of her and watched her hips squirm around him. Slowly pulling out, he took his hand off her neck and moved it back onto her clit, rubbing slow circles with the pads of his fingers. Waves of pleasure were washing over her as she moaned again. “Turn over.” he said, still rubbing her clit. She groaned and pushed her hips into his hand. He leaned down to kiss her, and said in a low voice in her ear, “You’re not listening, I said turn over.” taking his hand away sharply, and stroking himself instead again. She sat up to turn over, and he stopped her abruptly, thrusting his fingers inside of her pulling them towards her g-spot. “What do you say?” 

Her head was dizzy again, but she knew the words this time. “Yes sir.” she moaned. 

“Good girl.” Chakotay kissed her again. 

She turned over with one knee on the couch and the other leg extended down to the floor, not bothering to hold herself up, she let her back arch and her arms slide forwards above her head. His hands trailed her spine and the curve of her hips before he thrusted into her again. She let out a cry from the pleasure, the change in position reaching new parts of herself. He filled her again and again, grabbing her hips to thrust harder and deeper, listening to her cries and moans change with his changes. “Fuck” she moaned again, “Oh fuck” her body was starting to tense and quiver, and he responded thrusting faster. “Please, you feel so good” she mumbled into the cushion between gasps. 

It felt so good to be inside of her, but hearing her say it brought him over the edge. He started to moan, thrusting harder and deeper, and bent down over her to pull her further into him, reaching a hand around to massage her clit while she quivered and begged. He spoke into her ear again in that low commanding voice “Tell me again, the right way.” 

“You feel so good inside of me sir, please don’t stop” She barely made the sentence out before she started shaking again with waves of pleasure. 

Chakotay felt her orgasam around his cock from the tightening pulses, and slowed his pace to match her body. “Do you want me to keep going?” He asked gently, knowing she might not tolerate more. 

She lazily nodded her head, and mumbled into the cushion again “mhm.” 

He chuckled at her response, and paused inside of her. “Turn over again.” She did so without hesitation. “That’s not right, what do you say?” 

“Yes sir.” She smiled up at him, like she had almost gotten away with it. 

In that moment she had the most beautiful smile in the world. He couldn't help but kiss her again, and again, and trailed down her chest, and breasts, and stomach, kissing her all the way until his mouth found her sex. She gasped again, as he slowly dragged his tongue over her clit, moving softly and carefully. She tasted like heaven, and she squirmed as his tongue began to flick faster. He thrusted his fingers inside of her, and started to suck on her clit, looking up as her body moved and swayed with his actions. Her hands curled into his hair, pulling his face down into her pussy. He reached down with his other hand and stroked himself again, before sitting up and putting the length of his cock back inside of her. 

She let out another gasp, and he began to thrust rhythmically with her hips pushing into him. He stayed with his body pressed against hers this time, feeling her every movement. Her moans became more intense, and he moved faster letting out moans of his own from the feeling of her body pressed up against him. “I’m going to come.” no longer able to resist the feeling, he managed the words between thrusts. 

“I want you to cum inside me.” She responded, feeling the length of him and hearing his moans, knowing it was her turn again. 

He had no time to correct her with their little game, he could feel his orgasam pulsing in her as he thrusted deeply one last time, feeling the waves flow through him, and cumming inside of her. She could feel the heat from the cum running down onto her thighs, and the pulses in his cock as he remained still. They breathed deeply together, being still, feeling each other's breath, dizzy from the orgasams, and happy.

A small laugh escaped Bobbi as she felt the weight of Chakotay laying ontop of her, and he started to laugh too. Before they knew it they were both laughing together, a mess on the couch. She sat up with him and curled into his arms. It still felt so good to be touched, by someone, by anyone. They were all alone together in this quadrant, and neither of them knew exactly how much they needed it, that is right up until they knew how much they needed it.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Something about this interaction between Harry & Janeway - specifically Janeway but it's notable that Harry's the one listening because I think, say, Chakotay or B'Elanna might push back against the idolization of this 'it was different back in those days' way of thinking.

[ariella884]

Voyager Book Club - February Favorite Fics

So I put forth a challenge of sorts to our Voyager Book Club. I asked everyone to pick ONE Voyager fic that they consider to be their favorite. Now, you can imagine, this is pretty freaking hard! There are so many incredible fics out there. I didn’t say it had to be the best written, or the most in character. I gave examples such as: the one you read over and over or your go-to fic, however you want to phrase it. It was pointed out that a favorite fic can change every hour based on your frame of mind and what you are in the mood to read at any one moment. I get it. Even so....I challenged everyone to only pick ONE. And they did it! Or most of them! I got around 20 different favorites picked! So here is the list of our Favorite Voyager Fics, why they were chosen and by whom. Happy Reading!!

Note: Click on the name of the fic for a link to it! Also, this list is in no particular order.

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@curator-on-ao3: ‘Fragile Things’ by @mia-cooper

“Fanfic is about exploring possibilities. That’s what put this fic over the top to be my favorite. In Fragile Things, MiaCooper examines multiple versions of one relationship, pulling different threads to see how things unravel or knit together. It’s thoughtful, it’s meta, it’s realistic as hell, it’s damn good writing — it’s MiaCooper and it’s excellent.”

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@ariella884(yep, that’s me!): ‘2013′ by PCBW (@pcbw)

“I had a hard time choosing my favorite (like most people here), mostly because as i was gathering them all from everyone else I kept seeing ones and going, ‘Oh! I love that one!’.  I also didn’t want to have any duplicates so I had to change mine a couple times, that being said, 2013 is easily one of my top three (which of themselves is almost impossible to pick just one. I’m lucky that my other two were chosen already and I didn’t have to!). I love 2013 because it is a modern AU, without being a completely modern AU. No, that doesn’t make sense. But you get our Janeway and Chakotay, Starfleet officers and all, and you get them in the modern world. It’s incredible! We see the challenges they go through of being taken from everything they know and put into a world that is pretty much unknown to them. Add to that the personal differences they have to work out together. Splash in the normal challenges that we all go through when trying to live a life in this day and age (jobs, house, money, love, family, etc). This is just an incredibly beautiful story that I have read many times and will continue to read over and over. It’s also a long fic and those are my favorite because I like to get completely involved in stories!”

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@mia-cooper: ‘Deceiving’ by QuantumSilver

“Because it starts with a canon event that is absolutely devastating and shows just how devastated Janeway and Chakotay are by it (and Tuvok and Ayala as well, though they only make a brief appearance). It shows Janeway at her absolute best - every last inch the captain, going above and beyond for her crew not just physically but emotionally in spite of the absolutely gut-wrenching cost to her - and it really kicks off with one of my absolute favourite tropes: mutual pining to the Nth Fucking Degree.

It has Chakotay being every bit the commander, backing her up even though he's dying inside, and REFUSING to let her shut herself away even though he KNOWS she's going to want to murder him for pushing and pushing and pushing at her.

And then OH MY GOD, he's deliberately getting on her every last nerve just so he can wrench honesty from her because he knows if she doesn't tell him how badly he's hurt her, how she's absolutely bottomed out because of him, she will never open up to him or anyone else again.

AND THEY DRINK WHISKEY OMG GIVE ME KJ AND C UTTERLY MISERABLE AND DRINKING WHISKEY LIKE IT'S WATER AND PINING LIKE FUCK AND NOT SAYING A WORD BUT BLEEDING TO DEATH FROM THE HEART AND I WILL DIE HAPPY FOREVERRRRRRR

I'm sorry for yelling but this fic makes me want to rip off my clothes and run up and down the street screeching how everybody should read it and they are just BRUTAL with each other and they STILL do not understand, refuse to, CANNOT understand, that the other would not just die for them but MURDER WHOLE FUCKING ARMIES FOR THEM and it's tragic and devastating but then oH MY GOoOoOODDDDD

So that is my favourite fic and the one i read approximately every two months or more if i really hate my writing that day and want to torture myself with How It Should Be Done.”

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@bizships: ‘Fealty’ by MsDisdain

“My favorite story. I honestly don’t have to think about it. It’s one I always go back to.

I love the way the crew pledges their loyalty to her and the way subtle way they tell her that it’s okay that she’s happy too in that they effectively give her Chakotay for her birthday, by way of him “fighting” Tuvok(Starfleet)  for her hand.”

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@arcadia1995: ‘The Space Between’ by lauawill ( @joyful-voyager)

“The Space Between is a story I return to time and time again when I'm feeling down.  I like that it realistically portrays what might have happened between Janeway and Chakotay right after the returned home in Endgame.  I like that no one in the J/C/7 triangle ends up being a bad guy.  I like the hopeful ending and imaging what might have happened after the fade to black (lots of sex!!!)“

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@wishful-thinker-87 : ‘if you came this way’ by tree

“It’s always a go to for me, even though I don’t usually like AUs. The sex is intense and emotional. The characterization is pot on. And we get Phoebe being an awesome sister and some Chakotay/Molly bonding too. What’s not to love?!”

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BlackVelvet: ‘Bluffing the Crowd’ by @ralkana

“Even after years since i read this, just thinking about this story brings a warm fuzzy feeling to my heart and a huge silly grin to my face. I simply love it.”

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@purpledog47: ‘The Future is Ours’ by Dawn

“My favorite is most definitely Dawn’s ‘The Future is Ours. This is my one fic. It’s super long and it tells us what happened after Endgame and it has a little bit of everything in it: angst, romance, hurt/comfort, Q, babyfic, romance.” 

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@amoderngirl: ‘Time and Distance’ by northernexposure

“If I am ever loosing the thread with J/C, I can always read this and I am immediately in love again.”

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@coffeeblack75: ‘Soft Light’ by northernexposure

“There are so many reasons why I love it that I can't even, haha. I'll start with: it was the first piece of fanfic smut I read, so I love it for that reason - my first time haha. More importantly, it is just beautifully, beautifully written - it's plotted beautifully, it flows beautifully and the pacing is spot on. The author has complete control over all of that & over the language, which is just used masterfully. There's so much subtley going on in this story too - the author doesn't spell everything out for us and instead draws us to the details that reveal what is important - the beginnings of these two getting to know each other. Gosh, it's so hard to articulate haha! But lines like this just make me shiver in delight for their beauty and what they reveal: "he was kissing her, with a lot more sweetness than was wise. Ah god, I could go on and on but perhaps I'll finish with my favourite bit, which is when C feels that first stab of lust & realises she might too & tests his theory by blowing softly on the back of her neck. This moment, omg, the moment is just so beautiful, so quiet, so pointed and private and intimate. You really feel that moment as if you are there. Ahhhhh :)

Also….there are two sequels to it that are equally as wonderful ;)  

Oh and one more thing I adore about this story is the way that the C thinks he is lusting after KJ but it is quite obvious he loves her - even before they come together - but he hasn’t realized it yet. The way the author does this is just incredible - so deft! Everything for C is about taking care of KJ … it’s just beautiful.”

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@caladeniablue: ‘Lifeline’ by helenagray ( @picking-daisies-in-the-outfield)

“Why do I like that fic? An unfinished WIP at that (Started in 2013; last update in Jan 2019. No indication how many chapters to go.) The perfect serial story and that's part of the attraction for me.

The first chapter sets the scene: raw Janeway, alone, without the backup of her ship, her crew or Chakotay. Bare of essentials and with only her courage and intelligence and sheer determination to help her survive, and even she wonders how long those will last her.

And while we learn about Chakotay and how he seeks her while the crew has to move on, I am drawn to Janeway most of all.

The fic jumps back and forth across locations and in time from that first chapter to catch up with it again some 20 chapters later, but there is no jarring. The reader knows immediately what KJ is experiencing , but the past events that led to that situation are as important, and that's one of the many attractions of this story. No overlong flashbacks, no tedious info dump. It's all layered, making one wait for the next chapter and the next one, while knowing all the time where KJ has ended up.

The writing is gorgeous, which is a bonus. And it is pure J/C, distilled to its purest by separation.  Perfect.”

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@keiraniels: ‘Bad Ensign’ (Series) by @curator-on-ao3

“Ok so I chose Curator’s ‘Bad Ensign’ because I come back to it often - - it’s such a freaking brilliant idea that I can 100% imagine being canon, and it inspired so many Voyager Bookclubbers to write Bad Ensign stories”

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@cnrothtrek: ‘War Torn’ by @curator-on-ao3

“Why? I had the pleasure of beta reading this story, and I am so glad that I did. It has a great plot, is well-written and perfectly paced, and is hard to put down. The way it pulls together two pieces of canon backstories for Miles O’Brien and Kathryn Janeway is genius. The characters feel so real and their voices can be clearly heard in the text. And the supporting characters of Captain Benjamin Maxwell, Will “Stompie” Kayden, and Molly Walsh are incredible. The story is intense, absorbing, and emotional. I just can’t say enough good things about it.”

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@theshortywrites: ‘The Dragonfly Oath’ by Koneia

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@emmikamikatze: ‘All the Good Things We Never Did’ by northernexposure

“This story brings me to tears, makes me smile and shiver and fear and worry. It's given me phrases that won't leave me, that keep repeating itself in my head even months (years) after first reading it. There's just the right amount of show trivia to make it a fanfiction, but little enough to make it a unique and original story. ne makes me fall in love with these characters all over again as if I didn't know them beforehand.

This story is special and precious and it speaks to me on so many levels I can hardly comprehend how genius it is. It's a literary masterpiece of fanfic if there ever was one.”

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@missmil: ‘Here I Stand’ by lauawill

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@manalyzer13: ‘Gravitation’ by northernexposure

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@grace-among-the-stars: ‘Filling the Void’ by Spiletta42

“Filling the Void is the one fic I always return to. It has my fave ships, JC, PT and D7. Minor characters play major parts and it is just funny. It makes me laugh every time. 

JC’s relationship is really explored from all angles, this is not just your average, ‘the crew get them together fics’, it is so much more. It has sexual tension, smut, humour, sadness and is pure JC BLISS. It always cheers me up and I was so happy when Spiletta42 added it to Ao3 because this meant so many more people would find it.”

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Anonymous: ‘Bent, Not Broken’ by @killermanatee

“This is an incredible hurt/comfort Janeway/Chakotay fic. The story is painfully written from both characters' perspectives, showing how each is suffering in a different way from the traumatic event that has occurred. In the end, their love for each other will help them come together and they will both be able to heal with time, comfort, and support from one another. This is a beautifully told, emotionally heavy story of one couple's love overcoming tragedy. It is my favorite Janeway/Chakotay fic, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to read a heartbreaking yet fulfilling story.”

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@minakotenjou: ‘Mysterious and Curious’ by @h4t08 

“It was so hard to choose - there are a lot of incredible fanfics out there. This was one of the first...shall we say spicier J/C fics I read and for some reason I still think of it often. It's great smut for sure, but I think it stuck with me because of how it all gets tied together at the end.”

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@leisylaura: ‘The Bitter End’ by @mia-cooper

“We have post endgame books but not one about the original timeline, I remember reading “The bitter end” and thinking “this is it, this is what happened”.  I cried from beginning to end.”

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@killermanatee: ‘The Dying of the Light’ by @cnrothtrek

"This fic is such a gorgeous piece of art. I hadn't seen the TNG episode before reading it and when I did watch it I was very disappointed because this fic is just on such a completely different level. The storytelling is so delicate and intriguing, that combined with the poignant and elegant writing style, so that it was impossible to put my phone down. I can't recommend this fic highly enough."

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@cheile: ‘Marooned’ by Soliquilii9 (aka Running Horse)

“I love how she makes the story unfold in slow steady measures.  Also, she filled in the gaps left by the writers in regards to his heritage by using information from her own Cherokee background and it is done naturally (not in an info dump type manner). “

__________

What do you think of our list of Voyager favorites? Do you have a favorite that isn’t on this list? Reply to this post with your favorite!! And if you haven’t read ALL of these fics yet, I strongly suggest you get started!! Have fun and enjoy!!

[benka79]

Unrequited Love, But Not really

Tom Paris x Harry Kim (st voy meta)

I know I talked about Harry and his inner war with his own feelings and the clown representing his fears to face his gay love for Paris here, but... After "The Chute"...

All the episodes were foreshadowing something... Mostly gay subtext for KimRis.

Let's see ...

Bisexual characters, the most important, Kes being possesed by an evil mind, and the guy in her body was OBVIOUSLY BISEXUAL by selecting one woman and one man to be his lovers. (Also... Introducing the idea of poly-love for the incoming Kim/Paris/Torres).

The big decision between leaving or staying: Janeway deciding between go to the light or staying in the Voyager. Kes deciding between go for adventures with a handsome alien or staying in the Voyager. The alien that took the shape of an hologram deciding between the loneliness of her space station or come back to his planet. Tuvok deciding between go to the surface of the elevator or stay inside with the others.

The love triangle, unrequited love, passionate repressed feelings. Dark side. Jealous. A lot of characters fighting against their own desires, dark wishes. Sexual instincts. We had Tuvok helping Harry to suppress his feelings and desires for an impossible love (subtextually this applies to Tom, but textually, they symbolized it with the alien/hologram). Then, let's talk about the Vulcan with his pon farr it's a clear example of it. And making Kim going through meditation to try to control his dark feelings, adds more subtext to his desires on suppress something inside of him he's rejecting: the love for his best friend. Another huge example was the parallel with the Doctor and Kes. The Doctor said he was the darkest feeling, he was obssesed with Kes, trying to keep her close to him, trying to steal her from her lover. The jealousy and the passion gave built that new character inside of him. We were witnessing again a war inside of the Doctor. As we will see in Paris trying to make Kim stay in the Voyager.

And these little details... Chakotay's wound on his forehead was a foreshadow for Harry's tattoos in his forehead in 3x20. Neelix saying to the alien he likes Tuvok and he wishes the feeling were reciprocated, it's showing us the unrequited love idea placed inside of Kim and Paris about their love for each other. Paris saying to that girl in the 90s 'I won't find someone like you' and then the Chute happens and he literally INVITES HARRY TO A DATE (pic nic) and Harry just ruin it SAYING THEY SHOULD ASK THE DELANY'S SISTERS TOO. Like NO HOMO AFTER THE MOST HOMO EXPERIENCE OF THEIR LIVES IN THE PRISSON WHEN TOM LITERALLY CLAIMED HIM AS HIA SEXUAL PARTNER???

Neelix is representing Harry's instincts, romanticism and Tuvok is his reason, trying to suppress his love for his best friend.

Inside Janeway's mind, Tom and Harry are more than friends. In the episode in which Captain Janeway dies, when Harry is saying his speech to say goodbye to the captain, his voice cracks and immediately Tom is by his side, touching his shoulder and comforting him, and the atmosphere is not platonic at all. Tom is almost glued at him, and he touches Harry and stares at him lovely, and then guides him to a corner, and remains there with him.

Not to mention when we arrive to 'Favorite Son', Tom's reaction, (overreacting for a simple platonic bro), as Harry caress that girl cheek. Not only that, but the way he longingly and worriedly, he keeps himself to a side, watching Harry closely. The camera is always showing him to a side but eyes locked on his friend.

Tom's eyes filled with terror when Chakotay says they can't track Harry's signal to teleport him.

And when Harry is back, he is still kind is away from Harry, Neelix is between them, talking about how special Ensign Kim is. And then, again, Tom's reaction when Harry confess he would like to be more like him. (And Neelix sneaking in the background when he heard Harry saying that to Tom, like, Neelix knows.) Tom's face there is priceless. A mix of surprise and sadness. And also, love. Desperately trying to show he is not a role model, and mentioning THEY COULD ENDED UP IN PRISON again, why? Because they already were together in prison. And that experience marked him, why? Because the intimacy they shared over there was overwhelming. And because he will remover Harry's words for a very long time. And because he wanted to date alone with him after that experience, but Harry brought the Delaney sisters to it. And that's why Tom decided his interest in having something else that just friendship was unrequited. Just like all the foreshadows about unrequited love we had previously to this episode. So... Here we are now. Tom will try to forget his own feeling by B'elanna's side.

I know what you think about that alternative future in which Tom marries Kes, and Harry marries Linx, their daughter. But ... Remember Tom had lost his faith into having something else with Harry that's why he moved to B'elanna, and now to Kes... When he is recalling their marriage, the only moment he brings is the one in which HARRY WAS VERY NERVOUS AND DROPPED THE CHAMPAGNE ALL OVER HIM, (I wonder if this was a symbolism of jealousy from Harry) and Harry marries Tom's daughter, like? She looks exactly like Tom. Do you copy me?

Another thing is Neelix in his kitchen offering the same food for three days and Tom yearning for 'trying something different' (it could be taken as if he were tired of women -maybe try some Harry-, but it also could be related to B'elanna, bc she's different from other girls) And also the piece of the story Tom snatched from B'elanna's hands and then he reads, it's the exactly description of what happened between him and Harry in 'The Chute', when Harry was about to kill him, but he stopped.

To Conclude:

All the romantic foreshadows, the topic of "coming out" and "fears" in season 2 with that clown and Harry, and the bisexuality in season 3 can add to the homoerotic subtext between Harry and Tom. It's clear to me that after "The Chute" the intimacy Tom and Harry reached compound into fears to his own feelings, trying to repress it even with Vulcan technics (Harry) and tasting waters while trying to date without girls, pining in silence, searching for another one who make him forget about the feeling of being unrequited (Tom). And please... So much homoerotism when Tom kiss the Holo girl and immediately goes after Harry, inviting him to dinner with him, and massaging Harry's shoulder as they walk away from the holodeck, (season 2), or when they are modifying Neelix Holo program, Harry call for Holo girls, but Tom asks for fruit cocktail (which is an innuendo for gay orgies) and offers one to Harry.

And then, both friend SHAMELESSLY MOANING IN PLEASURE ONE IN FRONT OF THE OTHER AS THE HOLO GIRLS ARE MASSAGING THEIR SHOULDERS? REALLY?

Okay, I will stop. I didn't see this coming when I was a little 13 years old watching Voyager for the first time... I just had to write all these things down.

[cautious-creation]

“Ensign.” “Commander.”

Fandom & Character: Star Trek:Voyager, Commander Chakotay

Pairing(s): Chakotay x 1st person female y/n

Word/page count: 3300ish words, 3.5 pages

CW/TW: fluff, superior officer x subordinate relationship, past loss of a grandparent, discussion of grief, power dynamic

Summary: an ensign and her commander fall in love in the Delta quadrant

“Ensign.” he walked into the lab, holding what I assumed was the information I needed,

”Commander?” it didn’t make much sense for him to come down to the lab to deliver it. He looked up from the data and gave me a smile in greeting, which put me at ease; at least there didn’t seem to be anything wrong. I returned the smile.

“I’ve got that data from Seven.” he handed me the data.

“Thank you, sir,” I turned in my seat back to my work station, “you really didn’t need to come down here, I was about to head to astrometrics.”  he leaned against the work station beside me, looking at another information pad he’d brought with him.

“Captain’s in command and I needed a break from the bridge. I’ve heard about how quiet it is down here this time of day.” he dismissed.

“That’s why I prefer this shift, sir.” he paused from his work, looking at me.

“You don’t need to be so formal, ensign. After two years stuck in the delta quadrant together I’d think we could all benefit from being a little more casual.” I chuckled.

“I���ll try. It’s become a bit of a habit. Early in my starfleet career I was told I had a tendency to speak a little too casually, particularly with senior officers. I had to… re-train… myself. I seemed to have unintentionally made a few officers feel disrespected.” I smiled, reminiscing.

He nodded in agreement, “I’ve always found it a little problematic, some senior officers seem to use it to stroke their egos.” I laughed,

“That was part of my problem.” he laughed with me. “I understand why it’s necessary, but some people take it too far and it gets in the way of strong relationships being formed by the crew.” he smiled, seeming to admire my perspective.

“I’m glad I came down here. I think we could have some very interesting conversations.” 

I nodded “I think so too.” 

He pushed off of the work bench, “I need to head back to the bridge, good luck with that assessment, ensign.” he headed for the door, giving a nod for farewell.

“Thank you… commander.” he gave me a smirk as he walked out the door. I grinned, turned back to my console to put that luck to use.

-

“Well, my professor for xenosociology seemed to have a burning hatred for students like me, who actually question things, so I decided to move to xenobiology and that ended up expanding out to botany, neurology, anatomy, I almost took a psychology course. That professor made me never want to take a sociology course again, and yet, I still keep on looking into it myself.” Chakotay and I both smiled fondly at the memories of our respective experiences at Starfleet academy.

“Considering the horror stories I’ve heard from some of my Maquis friends, I had smooth sailing through my days at the academy. Sociology is fascinating, but I’ve always loved anthropology.” 

“Anything else for you two?” Neelix came past our table, gathering our used dishes. It was something he tends to do when he’s trying to ‘subtly’ listen in on people’s conversations. He’d been doing it a lot when Chakotay and I had meals together.

“I’m alright thanks.” I looked at Chakotay, he shook his head,

“Thank you, Neelix.” Neelix gave a small nod and left the table.

I waited for Neelix to leave earshot before I spoke again.

“I think he might be spying on us.” I leaned forward and spoke in a playful whisper.

He chuckled “I’ve been told that our… association has become a subject of gossip among the crew.”

We smiled at each other.

“Well, aren’t they presumptuous.” he shook his head in amusement looking down at the table.

When he looked up, our gazes locked on one another. Everything around us seemed to go quiet. I tilted my  head to the side, a furrowed brow and slight smile on my face. He’s a handsome man, charming too. So kind and gentle, righteous, patient. A good man.

Subconsciously, my hand dragged along the table until the backs of my fingers touched the back of his hand. He hooked his index finger over mine. It was practically a ‘pinky swear’. Just that little bit of physical contact felt like so much. It was a good feeling. I looked down at our hands and sighed.

“Are you alright?” his question drew my gaze back to his now concerned expression. I gave a lazy smile and slowly nodded.

“I just… “ I decided to take a risk, “Why don’t we have dinner in my quarters this evening? There’s a family recipe I’ve been meaning to try and I could use the excuse to finally do it.” a small, thoughtful frown crossed his face as he looked at our hands.

“No obligation, commander. Just an option. I’ve put it off this long, and the recipe isn’t going anywhere.” I spoke softly.

“Actually, I was just thinking about timing. My shift ends at twenty hundred hours, yours starts at… oh three hundred?” I nodded, “That doesn’t give you much time to sleep.” his concern was sweet.

“I can manage with four to five hours.”

He beamed at me “Then, ensign, I accept your invitation.” 

I smiled. I couldn’t deny I was excited for this dinner. All our meals so far had been in the mess hall. I’d started to get uncomfortable with all the glances we’d get. Perhaps it’s a bit odd for an ensign and a ship’s first officer to spend so much time together, or to be so close with one another; but it’s not as if we’d been doing anything unsavoury and definitely nothing that would go against regulations. Little goes unnoticed on a ship like this and whatever gossip may be circulating is milked dry very quickly; any new material is quickly scavenged upon. I didn’t want to risk Chakotay’s reputation or even his position. Nothing unbecoming a Starfleet officer.

It would be nice to spend some off duty time together away from prying eyes. We’d come to enjoy each other’s company, and Chakotay was right, our conversations were quite interesting.

He was taking a sip of his coffee when Tuvok called him to the bridge. He excused himself, saying he’d see me later, I wished him luck on the bridge and went back to the novel I’d been reading. Neelix came by soon after Chakotay left, not-so-subtly prying into the nature of our relationship. I played dumb, not falling for any of his sneaky questions. It was amusing to watch him getting progressively more frustrated, my form of justice for his intrusion.

-

I spent that afternoon napping and cooking. At nineteen hundred hours I showered and changed out of my uniform. I couldn’t decide what to wear so I ended up putting on a fresh uniform, sans jacket. I spent probably more energy than I ought to on decisions like what tablecloth to use, candles or no candles, wine or no wine and I decided to only dim the lights slightly. I didn’t want to push it, we hadn’t defined the nature of our relationship, I’d prefer to go too platonic than too romantic.

Five minutes after twenty hundred hours my doorbell chimed and Chakotay presented me with a bottle of wine.

“Oh, fantastic. I couldn’t decide if I should open a bottle.” he smiled and I stepped aside to let him in. He’d clearly just come from the bridge. His uniform made him look quite dapper, but I could tell he was fatigued from his duty shift.

“So, what’s this family recipe you’ve been so excited about? It smells amazing.” he approached the dishes of food on the table.

“How about you sort out the wine while I dish up?” I handed him the bottle and a corkscrew, then moved to the table to give him the story.

“My great aunt gave me instructions for green beans, creamed spinach and butternut puree. The bread is my paternal grandfather’s sourdough recipe; a lot of research and development went into that one; and my uncle taught us the trick of dipping bread in a shallow bowl of balsamic vinegar and olive oil. There’s a tradition that I think my dad started, to fry or grill sticks of halloumi cheese and season them with lemon.” Chakotay had poured the wine and sat in the chair opposite me. I placed a plate in front of him and sat down to mine.

“It might not be the most cohesive meal but together it reminds me of home.” there was a pause, an unprompted moment of silence for those we were so far away from.

He lifted his glass, “To… our families back home, and the one we have right here on Voyager.” I smiled. The crisp sound of the glasses touching split the hum of the ship for a moment. Such a beautifully wholesome sentiment.

“How’s the bridge, commander?” I tore some bread and dipped it into the oil vinegar mix.

“The bridge is just fine, ensign. No alien contact, no helm challenges, refreshingly quiet. How about the lab?” he took a forkful of butternut.

“We’ve been getting some momentum on that analysis. Surprisingly, there’s been a lot of data to sift through. The sample turned out to be far more interesting than we thought it would be.” he nodded,

“That’s good news.” I took a sip of my wine, “Now, enough about work. How’s life?” 

I chuckled, “Life is work and work is life here on Voyager, commander.” he shook his head, amused.

‘Ensign’ and ‘commander’ had become our pet names for each other, an inside joke that he and I shared. With all the prying ears and eyes it was fun to have something they didn't understand, and it helped us to seem more professional with each other for the sake of those concerned or bothered by the relationship Chakotay and I had developed.

“I’m glad we could have dinner without spectators for once.” I nodded, agreeing. It had started to feel invasive.

“It’s kind of unsettling to have everyone watching and listening to us. I get that it’s a small ship but surely that doesn’t mean we’re no longer allowed at least a little bit of privacy.”

“You’d think a crew of Starfleet officers would have a little more discretion than this.”

I scoffed playfully, “at least we haven’t been getting much commentary from our colleagues.”

“The captain said something this morning,” I frowned

“She did?” he nodded

“It wasn’t about us specifically, but the implication was there.”

“What did she say?”

“Something along the lines of being sensitive to the consequences of specific relationships within the crew, considering that we’ll all be stuck with each other on Voyager for a long time to come.”

“I’m impressed, an approach like that to a situation like this takes a lot of finesse on the captain’s part. But I’m not surprised, we’re ‘stuck’ out here with one of the wisest Starfleet captains I know.” He nodded. I could see how he admired her.

“I can’t think of another captain who would’ve been able to keep Voyager going this long out here in the Delta quadrant.” I agreed.

“You know who else’s work out here has been exemplary?” I decided to lighten the mood, “Harry Kim. If it was up to me he’d be a full fledged lieutenant by now.” Chakotay seemed amused,

“His work has been exemplary.” The sentiment was sincere.

“You haven’t done too badly yourself, commander.” His smile was small and bashful.

There was a moment or two of silence and we continued eating.

-

“You must’ve used a week of replicator rations on this.” he sat on the couch, taking the mug of tea I handed him.

“Only two days, actually. The beans and spinach were from the airponics bay. I used some of a weird bulbous vegetable Neelix had in storage to stretch the butternut I replicated and he had some Talaxian spices close enough to imitate cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg. I replicated the flour for the bread but yeast was a bit more difficult to get my hands on. The halloumi I had to replicate.”

“What about the lemon juice?” I chuckled.

“Six months into Neelix’s cooking I decided we needed some citrus so I grafted cuttings of about five different plants. We’ve ended up with limes, lemons, grapefruit, blood orange and an oddly bitter variety of Bolian tangerine. Neelix seems to get quite excited whenever I tell him the franken-tree has yielded another fruit. Which is rare because of how small it still is. Fortunately, citrus keeps well. The lemon I used tonight was in storage for about a month and a half.” Chakotay smiled.

“I think that citrus franken-tree is  one of your greatest achievements yet in terms of crew morale.” I chuckled,

“It’s definitely been one of the more challenging undertakings I’ve had while on Voyager.”

“You put a lot of effort into this meal.” I shrugged,

“I couldn’t have done it without Neelix’s help.” I frowned, “And it’s something I’d been needing to do for myself, a little bit of self-care. I’m glad I could share it with someone.” I looked up at him. I was glad that I had him to share the experience with.

“I’m honoured to have been allowed to share this meal with you.” His sincere smile put me at ease. I placed my mug of tea on the coffee table in front of me and leaned back into the couch.

“I’ve been missing home a lot recently. I guess the anniversary of my grandmother’s death hit me harder than I expected.” he took my hand in his, 

“You could have said something.” I responded to his concerned expression with a sad smile and looked down at our joined hands.

“I wanted to try working through it myself. I thought it would last a couple of days and I’d be back to normal.” my gaze became distant as I thought back

“Her leg of lamb stew was legendary. Not even my aunt could recreate it. She’d been cooking it on the day she died.” a small forlorn crease grazed my brow, “Two months after she died, I think it was on her birthday, it was taken out of cold storage and we all sat down to eat the last meal she ever made. It was… almost like a last goodbye. There was such a finality to that meal. I was only nine years old.” a single tear ran down my cheek, Chakotay gave my hand a comforting squeeze, “Her death changed my whole world view.”

“In what way?” His gentle question refocused my gaze. I shook my head slightly.

“I don’t remember.” It was true, but I knew for certain that I wouldn’t have grown into the person I had become if it wasn’t for her influence on my life, as well as the influence of her death.

“She meant a lot to you. I’m not surprised things didn’t just go back to normal for you after two days.” I smiled fondly and sighed, looking up and seeing his caring expression,

“Thank you for having this dinner with me.” he smiled softly,

“Of course. I’m glad I did.”

We sat for a while, my thoughts starting to gather again.

“A while back I programmed a traditional malva pudding recipe into the replicator data banks, well, our family recipe. Would you care for a piece?”

“I have no idea what it is, but I’m willing to try it.” I chuckled, getting up and heading to the replicator.

“It’s a traditional South African dish. My version is a bit different from what you’d find described in an historical database,” I sat back down with two plates of the syrup laced pound cake type dessert.

“Usually it’s served with custard or ice cream, but I think that just dulls the flavour.” one bite and a smile spread onto my face.

“I haven’t ever had anything like this. You’ll have to give me the recipe.” I shook  my head.

“Sorry, commander, that’s a family secret.” he chuckled.

“I might just have to order you to, ensign.” I laughed at him.

“Good luck with that, Chakotay.” it was a little startling to both of us to hear me call him by name, before that, I never had. That sounds bizarre, but it’s true.

“Chakotay,” it still sounded odd, my plate made a thud against the coffee table “I think we need to talk about some things.” he nodded, placing his plate down beside mine.

I took a deep breath. My chest tightened in anxiety. I wasn’t quite sure what to say. I knew we needed to address some things about our relationship but I feel like I couldn’t quite describe them.

“I… “ I looked down trying to find the words, “we need to discuss… ‘us’, the nature of our relationship. What we… want out of this relationship, where we see it progressing. How we respond to the crew and commanding officers about… this.” he held my fidgeting hands in his and flashed me a soft, concerned smile.

“Well, I believe we’ve come to be close friends.” the smile that responded tried to hide my slight disappointment, “But, as for what I see in the future of our relationship… “ he looked down at our hands, “That’s a little more… sensitive.”

I gave an empathetic smile and chuckled, “I know the feeling.”

He sighed. “I care about you, a lot.”

“And I you.” I gave a small smile.

“I’d absolutely be happy to continue as friends,” he locked eye contact, searching for my thoughts, “but I’d hoped we could work towards a romantic relationship.” I grinned. I couldn’t describe the relief that I felt.

“Me too.” he beamed back at me and almost seemed to blush.

One of his hands released mine and came to the side of my face, my now free hand lay on his chest, beside his neck, against the undershirt exposed by his unfastened jacket. The warmth of his body against my skin brought a slight flush to my face. His thumb padded over my cheek. My fingers fiddled with the pips on his collar.

I looked up at his handsome face, his gentle, calming eyes focused on mine.  My fingers itched to trace along the lines gracing the skin around his left brow bone, cheek bone and temple. He was frustratingly close to me. I so badly wanted to reach out and touch those dimples that smiled at me. His eyes enthralled me. 

I took another risk, letting my other hand rise to meet his face, the tips of my fingers lightly dragged along his tattoo. He seemed to sigh into my touch, which made a contented smile cross my face. My heart fluttered, I felt so peaceful.

“I don’t think you’ve told me, why the tattoo?” he smiled.

“My father. He wore it to honour our culture, I wear it to honour him.” my heart swelled.

“That’s so pure.” he chuckled bashfully. I gave him a thoughtful smile.

“You’re a good guy, Chakotay.”

“I don’t think I’ve heard you say my name before today. I like the way it sounds when you do.” it was my turn to blush.

“Chakotay, what are we gonna do about this?” I chuckled. My palm settled against his cheek.

“Well, what I would like to do about it, is to kiss you.” how suave, I’d been smiling every few seconds that evening, now was no exception.

“I’m not quite there yet, Chakotay.” I liked the way it sounded too, “I hope this can tide you over for now.” I leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss on his cheek.

“I’ll hold out for you.” he took my face in his hands and gave an equally gentle kiss to my forehead. My hands rested on his shoulders. A gleeful smile spread across my lips.

[summahsunlight]

This Way Became My Journey, Ch. 19

"Tuvok to Janeway."

The Vulcan's steady, strong voice cut through her slumber. Kathryn opened her eyes and immediately realized that sleeping on the chaise lounge had been a big mistake; her neck was aching terribly. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes, and pressed her combadge. "Go ahead, Tuvok."

"The modifications are complete. We're ready to proceed into Rupor space on your orders, Captain."

Was it morning already? She felt like she had just laid down and had gotten no sleep at all. Stretching her neck, she told him, "I'm on my way. Hold our position until I get there."

"Understood, Captain. Tuvok out."

Kathryn climbed off of the chaise lounge and went into the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face. There would be no time for a shower today; a fresh uniform change, fixing of hair and makeup was all she had time for today. But being a mother she was used to not being able to shower in the morning. Speaking of the children, where are they? Kathryn peeked into the mirror, which gave her a clear view of the living room. Ava had moved from the chaise lounge sometime in the night and was now sprawled out on the sofa. Kathryn had no doubt that Michael was still sleeping peacefully in his room.

That won't last for long; I better take advantage of it. 

She quickly slipped out of the rumpled uniform that she had slept in, pulled on a fresh one, and shook her hair out, reaching for her brush. As she did so she heard the doors to the living room swish open and she smiled. "Morning, Tal."

The young Bajoran's face appeared in the mirror, watching as Janeway did her hair. "Good morning, Captain. Are the children still in bed?" A frustrated cry from the sofa indicated that Ava was no longer asleep. "I'll get her, Captain. Keep getting ready."

Kathryn watched in the mirror as Tal picked Ava off of the sofa and went to the dining area, picking out some ration pack that was suitable for children. After we retrieve Chakotay and Sarah, those damn replicators are getting fixed. Pinning the last bit of hair back into her bun, Kathryn touched up her make up, splashed on some perfume that had been her husband's favorite, and went out into the living room. A sleepy-eyed Michael had joined Tal and Ava at the table, and both children were looking at the ration packs pensively. Tal was telling them, quite animatedly, to just pretend that the ration packs were in fact, the best thing they had ever tasted before.

"The best thing Ava's ever tasted is that goopy cereal Mama gives her," Michael said, moving his fork about the dehydrated food. "I don't think this game is going to work, Tal."

"Oh come on," Tal interjected. "I did it this morning."

Michael looked up at his mother, pleading in his eyes. "Mama, do I really have to eat this?"

"I'm afraid honey, until the replicators are fixed, you do," Kathryn replied, leaning down to kiss the top of his dark hair. "I'll see you later."

She ruffled Ava's hair on the way out of the quarters and proceeded to the turbo lift. In a few short hours the nightmare of the past two days could be all over, she didn't know why that wasn't making her feel any better. Perhaps she was afraid of what they were going to find once they got back to that planetoid. Ensign Kim's long range sensor reports indicated that it was Class L, not the best place to try and survive for a few days while waiting to be rescued.

When the doors to the bridge swished open, Kvati, the engineer that had been assigned to lead the team modifying Voyager's shields greeted her, " Good morning, Captain Janeway, like we promised the modifications are complete. Voyager should be able to pass through Rupor space undetected for several hours."

Kathryn nodded her head in appreciation as she made her way to the command station. "Mister Paris, how far are we from the planetoid we tracked the shuttle too?"

"If we travel at warp six we could be there in two hours," Tom answered, sounding much more rested than the night before. "If we travel any faster than that we risk interfering with the shield modifications and being detected by our friends."

The Captain set her jaw. Two hours, it could all be over in two hours. "Mister Paris, set a course for the planetoid, warp six."

"Aye, Captain."

Harry Kim had been in engineering, helping B'Elanna maintain the constant change of shield variances to keep them hidden from the Rupor, when Captain Janeway had summoned him to the transporter room. Grabbing a tricorder and a phaser before he left, he told B'Elanna to wish them luck. She had responded that Klingons don't believe in luck, but offered it to him anyways.

He found Janeway already standing on the transporter pad, her own tricorder and phaser in her belt, Tuvok was standing with her. Harry bounded up onto the transporter pad, on the other side of the Captain, and she gave the transporter chief a small nod of her head. Soon he felt the familiar sensation of being broken down to the very last atom in his body. It tingled; he always had loved how it made him feel, like he was free to go anywhere he pleased.

A rocky and barren landscape soon materialized before him. Harry looked about, reaching for his tricorder and pulling it out of his belt. Opening it up he noticed a deep path cut through the rock and his tricorder was picking up traces of plasma and other alloys that were common in Starfleet vessels and shuttlecrafts. He swallowed, they had transported directly to the crash sight. "Captain, I'm not picking up any life signs," he said softly, his dark eyes searching the face of his commanding officer. Her deep blue eyes were conveying a deep sorrow, one that Harry had not seen in her before. She was on the verge of tears, he was sure of it, and he felt a strong urge to comfort her. But there were no comforting words, for he was in just as much pain.

"It's quite possible, Captain, that Commander Chakotay and Counselor Barrett abandoned the shuttle to look for supplies and a place to set up camp," Tuvok reasoned, breaking the silence. "We should have Voyager do a planet wide sweep for human life signs."

Janeway's only response was a curt nod of her head. She motioned for Harry to follow her while Tuvok made the arrangements with Voyager to scan the area for Chakotay and Sarah.

Harry walked a few meters with her before they came across the shuttle, crumpled against the cavern's walls. His heart sank at the sight. What are the chances that anyone could survive a crash like this? 

Janeway was picking her way through the open hatch, stepping over debris, scanning the area. Harry watched as her eyes took in the charred inner cabin, the smell of burnt plasma lingering in the chilled air. Suddenly she stopped and leaned down, brushing aside some ash to pick something up. When she straightened her form Harry could clearly see what she held in the palm of her hand; two Starfleet issued combadges. The sound of Tuvok approaching, his boots walking across the stone ground could be heard echoing off the walls, while Janeway ran her fingers absentmindedly over the two mangled badges.

"Voyager is scanning the area now, Captain," Tuvok stated, his eyes falling on the badges. The silence lingered, awkwardly, between the three officers.

And suddenly, Janeway's fingers closed in around the combadges, her eyes snapping up to meet Tuvok's. There was fire burning in them, Harry realized, the trace of the pain and sadness gone, replaced with a fury that was nothing like he had ever seen. "Get another team down here to search the area. Harry and I are going to go through this mess and see if we can piece together what, exactly happened."

With a nod of his head, Tuvok disappeared from the shuttle.

"Let's get to it, Ensign," Janeway said, turning about, venturing deeper into the destroyed shuttle.

Harry found that he had yet to learn how to bury his emotions like Janeway could and focus on the task at hand. His mind kept wandering to Sarah, how she had been becoming his friend, and now was added to the list of losses that Voyager had endured in just the three short weeks that they had been stranded out in the Delta Quadrant. Was this something that Janeway had learned over time, how to bury emotions? Was it the outcome of years in Starfleet? Or was it just a personality trait? Either way, Harry wished that he had the ability.

"Odd," Janeway's voice brought him out of his ponderings. He ventured into the shuttle to where she was standing, scanning the walls with her tricorder. "These conduits didn't explode because of the crash; they exploded because someone fired a Starfleet issued phaser at them to apparently catch the cabin on fire."

"So, the combadges were accidentally left behind?"

Janeway shook her head. "No, I think the combadges were left there as a ruse, to make the Rupor think the occupants in the shuttle had perished." She leaned down and started to scan the area where she had found the two badges. "Normally, there would be traces of human DNA, but I'm not picking any up where the badges where, meaning that Chakotay and Sarah weren't there when the conduits exploded."

Harry, feeling a new sense of hope, began to scan the rest of the cabin. Maybe the Commander and Counselor had survived this crash after all. Then his tricorder beeped, and he frowned, turning about to Janeway. "Captain, I think you should see this."

She picked her way through the ash towards him and began to scan the area that Harry was standing in front. With a frown she tapped her combadge. "Janeway to sickbay. Doctor, I'm sending up a piece of debris of the crash sight. I want you to confirm that it has either Commander Chakotay's or Counselor Barrett's DNA on it."

"Understood Captain," the Doctor's voice came over the comline. "I'll be ready for it."

Janeway took her tricorder and placed it on the piece of charred conduit that Harry had been scanning. She tapped her combadge again. "Voyager, lock onto my tricorder and beam it, along with the piece of conduit, directly to sickbay."

Harry heard someone answer, but his eyes were transfixed on the piece of conduit that disappeared in the transporter beam. It wouldn't take the Doctor long to determine if the traces of blood he had found on the debris were Chakotay's or Sarah's, and that would confirm, without a doubt that the Commander and Counselor had died in the crash, or been hunted down later. He felt something like a burning hatred swelling in his heart. The Rupor had murdered two officers, in cold blood. He didn't care if they had violated the aliens' twisted sense of authority. If Chakotay had been given the chance he surely would have retreated from Rupor space.

But the Commander apparently had not been given the chance. Him and Sarah had been shot down, tearing a path through thick rock until their shuttle came to a crumpled stop. If they had managed to even survive that crash, the Rupor must have gone after them, to finish the job. It didn't seem like them to just leave well enough alone.

Had their last few moments been terrifying? Painful? Or had they gone quickly? Harry prayed for the latter. He hated to think of his fellow officers, one whom he considered a friend, suffering a gruesome death.

"Tuvok to Janeway, Captain we've found something, it appears to be boot tracks leading up the mountain. Permission to continue?"

"Permission granted," Janeway answered, motioning for Harry to leave the shuttle with her. "Ensign Kim and I are transporting back to Voyager. Keep me informed, Commander, on your progress. Janeway out."

"The traces of blood on the conduit definitely belong to Counselor Barrett," the Doctor informed Janeway upon her return to Voyager. "But I can't tell you if she died in that shuttle or not."

Janeway rubbed her temples for a moment. "We didn't find any other traces of DNA, just one area with her blood. It could mean that they managed to get out of the shuttle before the conduits blew, or they made it look like the conduits had blown so the Rupor wouldn't come after them. Everything is up in the air right now Doctor."

"I wish I had more to tell you Captain."

The woman let out a frustrated sigh. It had been nearly thirty minutes since she had transported back to Voyager. She had heard nothing from Tuvok and the rescue team down on the planet's surface, and the Doctor's news wasn't what she had hoped to hear. "I'm going to assume that they're alive until otherwise notified, Doctor. I want you to be ready for causalities; who knows what kind of state we're going to find them in. The shuttle was a mess and after being stranded on a barren planet for two days their conditions may not be the best."

"Aye Captain," the Doctor replied. "I'll be ready."

"I'll be on the bridge," Janeway stated, making a quick exit out of sickbay and heading for the turbo lift. As she made her way to the safe, warm confines of the bridge, she had no way of knowing that her officers were fighting, at that moment, for their very lives.

The game of cat and mouse had been going on since Sarah had shaken him awake at dusk the previous day. Apparently their friends hadn't fallen for the destruction he had inflicted on the cabin to make it look like it had exploded in the crash. Chakotay had been forced to leave everything, but a tricorder, a canteen of water, and a blanket for Sarah, behind, and the two had left the tiny cave they had sought to seek shelter in. Now they were being stalked like prey, through the rocky terrain.

Chakotay hadn't actually seen the aliens, but he knew that they were there, the tricorder kept warning them of the life forms approaching. And every hour they seemed to gain on them. Sarah was loosing strength minute by minute, if she had even had any to begin with. For him, hypothermia had set in late that night as they braved the high winds at the peak of the mountain. Even the sunlight of the next day was doing very little to warm him up. If they didn't find a place to take shelter in that night, he was certain that they both were going to die out here. It didn't matter if Voyager was coming for them or not, they wouldn't survive long enough to see their crewmates.

"Chakotay, please," Sarah pleaded. "I need to stop. The pain…it hurts."

He shook his head, stubborn, determined to carry onward, even if his own legs were starting to give out. "We can't stop. Just grit your teeth and bear it. I promise, once we're back on Voyager I'll give you light duty shifts, but until then, just keep moving."

There was a tiny groan of protest, but she didn't say anything else. She probably didn't have the strength too. Since abandoning the shuttle the night before she had taken no medication to quell the pain or to stall the infection, both were running rampant through her body and here he was dragging her around over rough ground. I'm not making my case for First Officer of the Year, here, Chakotay thought with mild amusement, if there could be anything amusing about their current situation.

Sarah suddenly stumbled, taking Chakotay with her. "I…can't…Chakotay. I just can't…"

He felt a great weight tugging at his arm as Sarah sank to the ground. He was pulled down to his knees. For a moment he sat there, watching her as she stared up at the sky that was extremely reminiscent of her eyes.

"My father always made us lay out on cliffs to watch the clouds and stars when we were little. He liked to drag us on camping trip after camping trip; I hated every moment of it," she suddenly muttered. "Funny how the last thing I'm going to do is watch the sky."

Chakotay leaned over her and grasped onto her shoulders. "Don't you do this to me now! You're not through just yet, not if I have anything to say about it!"

She shook her head. "What's the point, Chakotay? Those aliens are only going to kill us. Let's consider it doing them a favor by dying before they get the chance."

"You are not going to die! Not when we've come this far!" Chakotay sucked in a large breath of air and tried to pull her back to her feet, but she was dead weight and he had very little strength left. With a huff he fell back onto his behind, the canteen rolling away from him, the tricorder smashing against the rock. He watched as Sarah's thick eyelashes soon closed over her eyes. It would only be a matter of time before she gave out, and he knew, that he wasn't going to be far behind her.

[terapsina]

How is it that they managed to do one part of Voyager episode Blood Fever so well and the other parts so incredibly tonelessly?

Like the side of things that was purely about consent on the parts of B'Elanna and Tom was done great. This is how you do a Sex Pollen trope without being gross. Have it acknowledged by Tom that B'Elanna is not capable of consent and so have Tom refusing to take advantage of her because it would not be okay for him to do so.

Tom was a good person here. And you know… not a rapist.

I also liked their conversation at the end of the episode where Tom made his feelings clear but did it without pushing or trying to use against her the words she said while under the influence. All he made clear was that he wasn’t scared by B’Elanna’s Klingon side which in essence was making sure she knew the ball was in her court now.

B'Elanna’s scenes with the Vulcan ensign were good too (well not ‘good’ he clearly tried to assault her, didn’t take her ‘no’ for a no, tried to make her think she couldn’t do better than him and was all around the classic self entitled douche, the ‘good’ in question was the fact she wouldn’t let herself be swayed from seeing him for exactly the douche he was). She rejected him, and she kept rejecting him, and getting infected with Pon Farr against her will didn’t make her in any way “drawn” to him after her clearly stated wish to have nothing to do with him. No means no, and there is no in-universe switch on that.

And watching her beat him up was very satisfying.

The problem lies with everyone else’s responses. Like Tuvok (and Chakotay by association) basically ordering Tom to have sex with B'Elanna. That was BAD. And somehow no one found anything troubling about the fact that the Vulcan had assaulted her and then continued making it clear he wanted to/was planning to do it again. That was BAD too (yes yes I know Pon Farr or whatever but I freaking hate the ‘he couldn’t help himself’ excuse and anyway whether or not he was in control of himself doesn’t make B’Elanna any less harassed, attacked and mentally manipulated).

So basically it was a well done story as far as just B’Elanna and Tom are concerned but not great as far as everyone else’s reactions and actions. Also I still hate that that Vulcan basically got off scot-free.

Still I guess for an episode that came out in 1997 they did okay.

(also also I still hate the holodeck ‘sex programs’ SO MUCH)

[sharpnothashtag]

The Good Ship CrushWay, Chapter 30

Author’s Note: I needed some time away from that last story.  Call it a mid-season break, if you’ll allow it.  Now, for something I’ve wanted to do for literal years. (Yes, the stardate is going to be inaccurate because as much as I want to care about it, I don’t.  Two years have passed since chapter 1; six months have passed since chapter 29.  That’s all you need to know.)

Seven is walking through the corridors, nodding at doctors who smile at her.

Seven: Personal log, stardate 97770.33.  Admiral Paris has called myself, Captain Janeway, B’Elanna Torres, Tom Paris, the Doctor, and a few people I have not yet met to an early morning meeting.  It is rather inconvenient timing, as I was beginning to incorporate a new aspect to the filing system that would improve its efficiency.  Now, until I am permitted to return to my duties, the system will remain in its current state of disarray.  

Seven walks up to a door.  She rings the chime. 

KJ: Come! Seven: (enters, it’s a conference room.  KJ is seated near the head of the table. Seven nods in acknowledgement.) Captain. KJ: Good morning, Seven.   Seven: How was your sleep? KJ: Beverly woke me up snoring.  (drowning her yawns in coffee.  ...) Since when do you care? Seven: The Doctor and I have been talking about little talk.  It seems an inefficient way of communication, but the Doctor tells me it is seen as polite. KJ: It’s called “small talk,” Seven.  And I am perfectly fine to sit in silence--my restless night has left me rather cantankerous this morning.  (Seven nods in acknowledgement.  They have one more moment of silence before Tom and B’Elanna enter.  They see the way the Captain is chugging her coffee and decide not to comment.  They have a seat as well.  AP enters, smiling warmly.)

AP: Good morning, all.  Tom, would you mind bringing the Doctor up on this panel so we can begin? Tom: Yes, sir.  Will there be anyone else joining us, sir? AP: Yes, but I need to brief you all on your mission first. Tom: Understood, sir.  (He goes to the panel, presses a few buttons, and the EMH appears.) EMH: Good morning, Lieutenant Paris.   Tom: Good morning, Doctor. AP: Good morning, all.  I’m so glad to see you all again.  You all know I don’t like to beat around the bush, and there isn’t much time before you need to leave.  I’ll be brief.  We’ve managed to narrow down the location of the Voyager crew to a section of M class planets toward the border of the Delta and Alpha Quadrants.  We’ve not been able to communicate, but the homing signal they sent finally reached us.  According to his report, there were several minor injuries, but the planet they landed on had a benevolent species that took pity on them and helped them get to a stable position.  They, as far as I know, are waiting to be rescued, as the escape pods were very badly damaged in the landing.  We’re giving you a ship to bring back your crew. (brings up an image.  smiling)  Friends, this is the USS Ohana. KJ: (smiling) Family.  Family means no one gets left behind. AP: She’s intrepid class, just like Voyager.  She should have more than enough space to get all of you back in one piece. KJ: She’s beautiful.  When do we leave? AP: Well, as soon as your new crew members get here. Seven: New crew members? AP: Yes.  First, (pulling up a headshot) your head of security and first officer, Lieutenant Commander Tasha Yar.   KJ: Yes, she can cover that and tactical until we get to Tuvok.  That still leaves Ops, assuming that Tom will be covering the helm. AP: Your new Ops officer, Ensign Ro Laren (headshot).  I will warn you, Captain.  Both women are extremely opinionated and headstrong. KJ: Outspoken, are they?  They’ll fit it well.  (as if on cue, the doorbell chimes.) AP: Come! (Tasha and Ro enter.) KJ: (to Tasha) Commander Yar, yes? Tasha: Lieutenant Commander, but yes.  Tasha Yar.   AP: Report to cargo bay 4 in 2 hours.  Dismissed.  Tasha: (to KJ) Good to meet you, sir. KJ: Just “Captain” is fine.  I’ll be calling you “Number One.” (They all walk toward the Turbolift together.)

Tasha: I am honored.  Captain Picard used to call Commander Riker that. KJ: You served aboard the Enterprise? Tasha: Yes, many years ago.  I left for another position on a smaller ship that had the opportunity of advancement; Captain Picard gave me his blessing, as he and Captain Anton Farley were in the academy together. (smirking) He said I could learn a good deal from him. KJ: It’s a long story, but I became “Number One” after Commander Riker left for his position aboard The Excalibur. Ensign Ro, is it? Ro: Yes, Captain.  Thank you for using my proper name. KJ: No need to thank me for common decency. Commander Chakotay taught me well.   B’Elanna: Speaking of Chakotay, where is he? Seven: He is on an extended spirit quest.  He left messages with Starfleet Command that he would be back in a few months.  Admiral Paris felt it best to respect his religious practices and appoint you instead, Commander Yar. Ro: Now, Chakotay, why do I know that name? B’Elanna: It’s been a long time, but he and I fought with the Maquis against the Cardassians. Ro: But you aren’t Bajoran. B’Elanna: But Starfleet sure as hell didn’t give a damn.  We knew what needed to be done, and so we went to help, no matter what that meant. 

(Tasha and Ro share a look.  They’re uncomfortable and that is clear.  They certainly aren’t going to acknowledge what’s bothering them here. The turbolift comes and we are back with KJ and Bev.)

Bev: You’re going to call me every day at lunch, right? KJ: Of course.  I looked at the coordinates briefly--it doesn’t seem like it will be that long of a trip as far as navigation goes.  The species Tuvok has befriended seems docile and willing to learn from us according to his report.  I’d say I’ll be back in a month. Bev: Every day, Kate. KJ: 1200 hours.  We’ll keep up.  And when I get back, you’ll get to meet my crew. Bev: When you get back, can we tell your mom about us? KJ: (stopping dead in her tracks) Tell my mom? Bev: I don’t have parents to tell that I’m happy.  My closest friends and family already know you, especially since Wesley finally came to see me and you met him.  It’s time for your mom to know. KJ: I know it’s time.  I’m just worried that if we tell her, she’s going to fall apart.  It’s only been 6 months since Phoebe died. Bev: Her daughter is happy.  How could she “fall apart” over that? KJ: I don’t know.  I guess I’m just scared.   Bev: We’ll make a trip to see her and tell her in person.  It’ll be fun!  Plus I’ll finally get to meet Molly and Rocco.  I’ve been excited about that for a long time. KJ: Molly and Rocco will love you, and so will my mom after knowing that you’re my girlfriend.  (leaning in to kiss her) Just like I love you now.  (in each other’s arms) You’re the most loving, loyal, positive, funny, and sarcastic person I’ve ever known.  I love you. Bev: I love you, too.   KJ: I need to go. Bev: Do you have to? (starting to go in for another kiss)  KJ: I might have 15 minutes or so...(going in for a kiss on the neck) Bev: Good.  That’s just enough time.

Tasha is packing.  Ro enters.

Ro: Tasha, are we not going to talk about this? Tasha: There’s nothing left to talk about. Ro: Yes, there is.  We’re going to rescue some former Maquis. Tasha: Former Maquis who then became Starfleet officers. Ro: (sitting down on the bed) Tash, I need a friend right now. Tasha: A Maquis wanting to befriend a Starfleet officer? Ro: Will you just shut UP about that?!  (Tasha takes a deep breath and sits down next to her.) I defected to the Maquis, yes.  That’s only because I saw my people suffering.  I saw myself as a little girl again.  I couldn’t watch other people watch their fathers die like I did.  I just couldn’t.   Tasha: Listen...I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.  I was hurting for a long time.  You and I were really happy, and then you defected.  It felt personal. Ro: You know it’s not. Tasha: I saw the way you were looking at that Kira Nerys.  Don’t tell me that had nothing to do with it. Ro: That’s just it!  Kira had nothing to do with it. Tasha: Bullshit. Ro: Ok.  But not in the way you’re thinking.  She understood my passion for Bajor.  She knew that Starfleet couldn’t help me with that. Tasha: And that’s where the problem really is--you think that I didn’t understand, or that I couldn’t.  I grew up outrunning rape gangs, Ro.  I know what it’s like to have an unsafe, miserable childhood. Ro: But you don’t know what it is to have someone else understand that and be able to help you through that.  Be able to give you something to do about it. Tasha: ...I thought I did.  I really thought I did. (Tasha gets up from the bed and starts to finish up her packing.) Ro: Tasha. Tasha: Dismissed, Ensign.  (Ro sighs.  She looks at Tasha longingly one more time.  She leaves.)

Seven is in the Medical facility.  It’s clear she’s stressed out. Erin: Annika, just let me take care of that while you’re away. Seven: My name is not Annika any longer. Erin: What should your designation be, then? Seven: Seven of Nine is more than appropriate, even if it is a bit vague. Erin: Seven, please.  Just let me take care of the records while you’re gone. Seven: You won’t know what to do. Erin: Yes, I will. Seven: (stops what she’s doing) Show me. (Erin does the same sequence of events Seven has been doing.) You have forgotten to capitalize Biquv’s name under “assigned counselor.” Erin: But is the rest of it up to your standards? Seven: It is...passable.  Thank you, Erin. Erin: You’re welcome. (Seven starts to walk away.) I was wanting to talk to you. Seven: (Stops, turns on her heels.  slightly annoyed.) Proceed. Erin: We didn’t get the time to be mother and daughter.  When you return, could we start getting to know each other? Seven: When I return, I will have many things to do.   Erin: But you have to eat.  We could at least eat together. Seven: (taking a deep breath) We will attempt conversation once a week. Erin: Five times. Seven: Three. Erin: Sold.  Now hurry--your mission can’t wait.

[ezrisdax-archive]

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B'Elanna comes down with Ankaran flu, of all people she expected to show up every day Seven wasn't on that list.

Doesn't mean she can't get used to it. (also here on ao3)

~~

The problem with being on Voyager, on top of the many many things that kept going wrong, was that it was easy to pick up a cold or something from someone else when it came around.

B’Elanna found herself bitterly cursing Carey since she’d obviously got the Ankaran flu from him. But he’d bounced back and was taking care of her – her! – engines now.

Normally her Klingon side did her some good and allowed her to recover faster than her compatriots did but the Ankaran flu had never sat well with her.

Just like lying down and doing nothing for days didn’t even as feverish as she was.

Honestly it was because of the fever that she has assumed the Seven standing in front of her was nothing but a weird dream.

Except she wasn’t going away, just standing there.

“What are you doing here?” B’Elanna asked, finally tired of the staring.

“I was informed by Ensign Kim that you would do better getting ‘well wishes’ from your favourite people.” Even as Seven said it she had that minute twitch, the kind she got when she thought that the Voyager crew was being overly emotional and illogical.

It was no wonder she and Tuvok got along.

“Therefore,” Seven continued, clasping her hands behind her back. “Get better.”

“You’re my least favourite anything.” B’Elanna replied, burying herself further into the mountains of pillows that Neelix had stacked around her. Her tone lacked the usual bite though and Seven could clearly tell since she just raised an eyebrow.

“By process of elimination I assume I must be your favourite ex-borg.”

“By process of elimination you’re also my least favourite.” B’Elanna snarked. “Also you’re beaten out there by Icheb.”

“Ah.” Seven didn’t look affected at all and in her head B’Elanna cursed her cold attitude. Just once she wanted to rattle Seven, see a different side of her, get her to react.

“Guess that makes me your favourite and least favourite Klingon by that logic though.” B’Elanna said, mostly just to herself.

“You are correct in that assessment.”

B’Elanna rolled her eyes. “Whose your favourite human then?”

Seven didn’t answer, surprising her enough that B’Elanna frowned at her with concern.

“I’m joking Seven, you don’t have to answer that.”

Whatever awkward moment there was it was broken when she got a sneezing fit. She reached over to grab the tissues that Harry had replicated for her but growled in annoyance when she saw the box was empty and threw it at the wall.

It barely got halfway thanks to her tired muscles.

“Here.” Seven held up what must have been a freshly replicated batch.

“Thanks.” B’Elanna muttered and took them, under her breath cursing Carey and the Doctor and because really how could he cure Tom and Kathryn from being lizards that one time but couldn’t fix the flu?

“I believe that is because it is adaptive.” Seven said, answering her rhetoric question.

B’Elanna glared at her with bleary eyes.

“You appear to need sleep.” Seven said as she straightened up, halfway an observation and halfway an annoying order.”

“I’m not sleeping with you creepily watching.”

“Very well.” Seven nodded, “I will see you later.” She paused. “Get well soon, Lieutenant Torres.”

B’Elanna just waved tiredly at her, not bothering to answer.

She’d just see Seven when she got back to her station and then hear all about how borg nanites were superior or something.

Weirdly she was looking forward to that.

~~

Seven was back again and B’Elanna really was having a fever dream. She had to be. There was no way Seven would return the next day to a situation she had no control over.

“Did you bring me soup?” B’Elanna asked, blinking at the tray in Seven’s hands.

“It is high in nutrients.”

“Oh good for it.” B’Elanna huffed, “I was concerned about that.”

Seven didn’t take the bait, just set the tray down in front of her.

The tray that wasn’t going away just like Seven.

Not a dream.

B’Elanna took the spoon, squinting at the soup just one more time in case the hallucinations had gotten the best of her.

“Thanks.” She said quietly, trying to surreptitiously glance up at Seven.

Seven’s eyebrows rose slightly in her surprise and the corners of her lips twitched in something that might have been a smirk but she was quick to school her expression back to calm indifference.

It was too bad really, B’Elanna thought, a smirk was close enough to a smile and Seven looked good like that.

She froze at the thought after a second and shook her head.

Really the fever was getting to her.

When she woke up a few hours later she had a memory of the soup, the taste of it in her mouth, but the tray and Seven were gone and blankets had been wrapped around her where they’d been kicked to the bottom of the bed before.

~~

“Review this.” Seven said as a greeting the next day, pushing a padd into her hands.

The words swam on the screen when B’Elanna looked down at it. She was beginning to feel queasy looking at it but swallowed it down.

“What’s wrong, Seven? Can’t handle things without me?” B’Elanna couldn’t resist taunting even as she swayed a little.

The padd was tugged out of her hands despite B’Elanna’s protest.

“I can see it will need to wait.” Seven was frowning down at her again. Then she whirled and walked over to the replicator, coming back with a glass of water. “You need the hydration.”

B’Elanna took the glass, swallowing some of it and then pressing the cool glass against her cheek to alleviate some of the heat.

“You are not getting better.” Seven stated. “I will inform the Doctor.”

The glass was mercifully plucked from her grasp before B’Elanna spilled it on her by falling backwards into her pillows.

“Tell him to fix this.” B’Elanna said, her words slightly slurred by her exhaustion. “Cause you need me back.”

It wasn’t until she woke up later that she realized Seven hadn’t argued that fact.

~~

“She keeps coming by.” B’Elanna said to Harry the next day.

Harry didn’t bother to hide his amused grin. “You should hear her in Engineering. Carey keeps ducking out when she comes in because she keeps finding flaws in his work. Apparently it’s not as adequate as yours.”

“Seven finds flaws in everything.” B’Elanna said, refusing to feel somewhat charmed by that. “Including my work.” Which grated on her constantly, she knew what she was doing.

“Right.” Harry leaned back in the chair he was sitting in. “Except I haven’t heard the two of you fighting over your quality of work in months.”

That was…true. Their arguments of late had just been about the better way of going about B’Elanna’s plans rather than the idea of them.

“Guess Seven’s learned to appreciate some flaws.” Harry continued, still grinning at her.

B’Elanna narrowed her eyes even as she was certain with how red rimmed they were it lacked the effect she was going for. “You’re delusional, Starfleet.”

“I’m not the one with the fever.”

“And I’m still thinking straighter than you are.”

~~

Soup, B’Elanna had learned, lost its appeal rather quickly.

Which was why when Seven brought toast the next night B’Elanna actually made a delighted noise.

“It appears you are feeling better. The medication the Doctor administered must be the correct treatment.”

“Go Doc,” B’Elanna cheered with fake enthusiasm as she tore into the toast.

“You should be well enough soon to return to your duties.”

B’Elanna paused and looked up at Seven. “Did you miss me or something, Seven?” Her conversation with Harry came back to her with easier clarity.

Now she could even see that there was just the slightest of pink in Seven’s cheeks.

“In your absence the work has been lacking.” Seven eventually said after the silence went on too long.

“Uh hunh.” B’Elanna said doubtfully. “It’s nice to be missed.” She grinned sharply. “Guess someone can keep up with that brain borg of yours after all.”

Seven got that annoyed look on her face that B’Elanna could only tell because she’d been watching Seven’s face for reactions for so long. To anyone else the changes would have been minute and unnoticeable.

“If that is what you wish to tell yourself to feel better you may.” Seven said, her tone a little icier.

“I will, thanks.” B’Elanna kept grinning, feeling better than she had in days.

Seven gave a sharp nod. “I’ll take my leave, since you are better.”

It wasn’t what B’Elanna had been hoping for and she sighed as Seven turned away, “Seven, wait.” She called out, and scowled as Seven’s back. “Look,” B’Elanna continued and ran a hand through her hair and made a face at how sweaty it felt. She needed a shower and how Seven could stand to be around her like this when she’d made her displeasure on the unhygienic form of sick people clear she had no idea. “I didn’t mean anything by it. It is just nice to be missed.”

Seven turned her head back, looking over her shoulder at B’Elanna. She looked like she was struggling with her words again before she finally said, “It is not just your work that has been missed.”

Without another word she strode out of B’Elanna’s quarters, leaving B’Elanna blinking in surprise and staring at the spot where Seven had been.

“Damn.” B’Elanna sound out loud. “Starfleet was right.”

She’d never tell Harry.

~~

It took her another two days to be cleared by the Doctor who had given her a lecture on health that B’Elanna had tuned out for the most part.

She got ready that morning feeling energized, ready to get back to her engines and see what messes had been made while she was gone.

When she walked out her door however she stopped, seeing Seven standing there awkwardly.

“I was informed you were cleared for duty.” Seven said, she held out some padds for B’Elanna to take. “I have made several reports regarding incidents made while you were gone.”

B’Elanna rolled her eyes. “At least let me have breakfast first Seven.” B’Elanna groused but took the padds. She hesitated before reading them however and looked over at Seven. “You could join me.”

Seven’s eyes flickered over towards her, curious.

“I got lunches and dinners with you these past few days, well.” B’Elanna amended. “I ate while you stood creepily. I figure I’m owed a breakfast too.”

Slowly Seven inclined her head in what might have been a nod of agreement. B’Elanna clapped her on the shoulder, grinning.

“Good, you can tell your favourite Klingon, who you missed so much, how much you missed me again.” B’Elanna said, her spirits lifting in the moment.

Seven’s lips pursed in annoyance.

“I have observed Voyager’s crew over the last few days and come to a conclusion.” Seven clasped her hands behind her and started to walk, forcing B’Elanna to rush forward to keep up.

“Is it that you missed me?” B’Elanna teased again.

“That among the crew’s members you are unique.”

“Oh.” B’Elanna said numbly, taken aback by the sudden confession.

“It is not something I would have appreciated before. Your absence has made me value it even more.”

“Oh.” B’Elanna said again, swallowing. She leaned in as they walked, pressing her shoulder against Seven’s arm. “I appreciate you visiting me. It was nice. But I could do with dinners where we both eat.”

Seven stopped suddenly, making B’Elanna stop too. She stared down at B’Elanna, “You are proposing we take meals together.”

“I’m proposing dates, Seven, get with the program.” B’Elanna replied, a little agitated that Seven hadn’t picked up where she was going and feeling far too open.

Seven’s cheeks were just that slightest tinge of pink again, B’Elanna was beginning to find it more than just charming.

“Very well. As you have stated, breakfast is viable start.” Seven took a breath and began to walk again.

B’Elanna caught up with her once more, her fingers brushing against Seven’s.

“I lied before you know. You are my favourite ex-borg, no offense to Icheb.”

“I will inform him of such.”

“Seven, no. Don’t tell the kid that, it’s a joke.” B’Elanna’s fingers twitched when Seven’s ran against her own, feeling an urge to just grasp them. “But you never answered who your favourite human is.”

Seven glanced over. “You are half human.”

There was a warmth that spread through her and B’Elanna ducked her head to hide her smile. She reached over, taking the chance to grab Seven’s hand anyway just for that.

From the corner of her eye she could see the smallest smile on Seven’s lips and that was a reaction she could definitely get used to.