#I was testing out a new editing app to see if it was better than my others

[hargrove-mayfields]

Steve isn’t too impressed with Billy’s driving…

[elvenbeard]

Today's modding shenanigans!

Today I wanted to test out ACM a bit :D I think I'd most enjoy using it as an additional tool for making custom outfits and seeing how different item appearances work together, less as my primary tool to creating custom outfits as such (also, it is a bit buggy for me and I can't seem to export appearances reliably for some reason).

Since you can alter custom appearances with it too, though, you could definitely mod one "base outfit" and then change the colors spontaneously for a different vibe (for example, I could make an apperance for Kerry wearing one t-shirt and then change the shirt decal or color on the fly in game without cluttering his .app file with a dozen different appearances that are virtually the same just different colors!). Wondering though if there exists a resource that lists every item's appearance names (cause some are super specific and hard to guess, like... instead of "black" or "smiley-face" you have appearances like "6th street" or "black_capsules") for this purpose... and if not, I'll probably make one just because I would find it useful to have xD

Also, ACM is really neat for taking off Kerry's jewelry on the fly for certain pics XD Or changing nail colors and things like that! In all these regards this is a super useful resource as is already, but I'm excited where the mod makers will take it :D (also... random sidenote, but can we talk about Dante for a moment? I'm a little bit in love, and I need his shirt not only for Kerry but also for Vince XD).

Then some silly behind the scenes stuff xDD @netcess said that Reed really needs a party outfit with a cool hat, so I put something quick and simple together for her and... I wanted to take a pic and as I went into Photomode, Vince spawned straight across from Reed and looked so disappointed at him partying without him when so many pressing issues are at hand XD Just really fun little moment I wanted to capture, intensified by facepalm XD

Honestly he rocks it XD Might make a recolor to fit his suit when the mood strikes xD

And finally: who wore it better? XD

(giggling and kicking my feet at how his hair and beard match now :3)

No but I actually tried my hand at editing this hair mesh for Kerry, cause it was clipping a bit here and there! This is done super quick and dirty like... In theory I know I could export his headmesh and then fit it exactly to that, but for now this aint so bad already actually! :D No more clipping into the side of his head and the hairline in the front looks better. I left out Johnny's hair cap and all that because I wanted to go for a really really short, very freshly shaved look for this like...

Something he would've done at the end of his tour right before coming back to Night City. Keeping the long hair consistent for all concerts. And as I said, I 100% get why he has that look, like... It has old, seasoned rocker vibes, it's so much less clean and more himself than his 2077-appearance like... natural hair color, not styled at all, embracing himself again with the whole "I'm gonna name my next album "Kerry Eurodyne" and go back to my roots thing, he looks like he just came off stage, sweaty and tousled, so... yes!! I do love it for all those reasons, but idk... I feel like, it's also at the same time something low maintenance that he doesn't have to pay a lot of mind to, escaping into his music and career after apparently losing V. And I think with the tour over and with getting V back so unexpectedly, he'd change things up a bit again. It's a concert/tour look for me. And this style is also low maintenance, while still Kerry, still rebellious, but a little more cleaned-up, in control of his life, if that makes sense?

@pinkyjulien sorry for stealing your tags from my other post, but you put it into words so well, on point!!

Especially your last point, cutting/shaving your hair to mark a new beginning is 100% such a thing he'd do!! So yeah, I think I'll stick with this for his two-years-plus-four-months-later look xD

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT ECOMMERCE NEWS (INCLUDING ETSY), Early May 2024

Welcome to my latest coverage of Etsy and other ecommerce news, early May edition. I am off for a short vacation Monday, so thought it best to get this report out now.

Want to get shorter versions of these reports but more frequently? Become a paying member of my Patreon. I will be adding new resources and content there once I get back from my trip.

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TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

Etsy’s first quarter financial report for 2024 was not great, but that was expected.  The real news is that they no longer expect the current quarter to be much better [Tumblr post by me]. Also, they are still planning on changing search. 

Canadian shipping service Chit Chats is shutting a dozen offices in 4 provinces, starting April 29 through May 15 [LinkedIn Post by me]. It appears they expanded too fast and have much more competition now than when they first opened, so the additional locations were not very busy. Some may be replaced by drop off points. There is a thread in the Etsy forum with more info.

Etsy CEO Josh Silverman made over $16 million in 2023, roughly the same amount as 2022 [pdf; see page 56]. Almost all of that was stock options. Chief Financial Officer Rachel Glaser made over $8 million, as did Chief Technology Officer Rachana Kumar. 

ETSY NEWS 

Etsy buyers are receiving emails asking them to rate their recent purchases, as discussed in this Etsy forum thread. The owner of Garden Path Rosaries at Peter's Square Marketplace sent me the screenshot below, which popped up after they clicked the email to confirm they had received the order.

These questions may be connected to details popping in recent reviews, even though the popups and emails say the feedback “won’t be shared with the seller or shown on Etsy.” See this screenshot from Kathie from PillowDetail’s shop:

It’s also possible these review details come from a different test, or even from the act of leaving a review, as some buyers report getting similar options when they leave public reviews. [As is usual with Etsy, they change a lot of things without explaining how any of it works.]

Etsy seems to have deleted most Messages in seller spam folders without any warning, and some shop owners are not happy about it. [The only one I have left is a recent Message that Etsy moved there erroneously.]

Etsy is still promoting its TurboTax discount to Canadian sellers - even though the integration only works in the US. [post by me on LinkedIn]

Canadians no longer need to have a Canada Post Solutions for Small Business account to use Etsy Labels - and the discount for Tracked Packet to the US is very good. [Patreon post by me]

NBC News calls out Etsy for AI crochet patterns that don’t work. While the article blames the images being made by AI, I’ll bet the patterns were too. 

Despite this type of criticism over allowing AI items to be sold on the site, Silverman told a recent investors conference that he is still all in on AI in many forms. “Many sellers on the platform are generating content in collaboration with a machine, Silverman said, and a large amount of new item listings are generated in collaboration with GenAI. But given that Etsy is a platform for handmade goods, the boundary between man-made and machine-made required some clarification. “We had some discussions about, is that handmade or not? Does that belong on Etsy? And we decided, ultimately, that it was—in the same way that electronic dance music, the most popular form of music in the world right now, is collaborations between humans and synthesizers,” said Silverman. “I think this collaboration between humans and machines to generate art is actually going to be the next frontier.” He did admit that the search chatbot tested on the app many months back was poorly received. [The article is really worth reading, in my opinion.]

Gift Mode has now launched worldwide [text with embedded video], and gift teasers will soon include videos from the giver. The teasers have been growing in popularity, with 7% of gift orders in March using the teaser. 

The Marketplace Trends report for spring & summer is out, and apparently there has been a 266% increase in searches for divorce gifts. Even more impressive is a ”2,159% YoY increase in searches on Etsy for lawn games”. Skim through the whole report if you want to know what is trending up. 

Etsy released 2 different “impact goal” posts on Earth Day, which included Reverb and Depop. While you can read a lot more detail in the 2023 Integrated Annual Report [pdf], here are the individual posts: 

Environmental impact goals: reduced carbon emissions, on track to be net zero carbon emissions by 2030. “[S]ellers created 108 million listings with circular attributes on the Etsy, Depop and Reverb marketplaces, including vintage, upcycled, used and secondhand items.” The document mentions increasing Disaster Response Grants (for U.S sellers only) and “open source resource guides that help makers access climate-related disaster information and funding.” 2024 goals are listed. 

Social impact goals: discusses gender, race and disability representation in its workforce, and funding for “creative entrepreneurs from low-income and underserved communities.” 

Related to the environmental impact goals, Etsy published a disaster guide (mostly US-focussed), and put out a (very short) funding guide for US sellers at the same time.  

ECOMMERCE NEWS (minus social media)

Amazon

Amazon added over 5 million sellers since 2018, 2 million of them in the US. That's only about 100,000 more than Etsy in the same time period, comparing 4th quarter 2018 to the end of 2023. 

There are now Amazon shoppable livestreams on Prime Video and Freevee. “Amazon Live’s FAST channel will feature 24/7 programming from popular creators and celebrities, such as reality TV stars …Brands like Tastemade and The Bump will also host streams to sell their products.”

Amazon drone delivery is ending in California, but continues in Texas and will soon start in Arizona. 

Amazon’s first quarter was great, but note that ⅔ of its operating income comes from the cloud services, not ecommerce. 

BigCommerce

BigCommerce announced many new features, including more country localization, new builder options, syncing inventory through Feedonomics, and of course, AI. 

eBay

eBay is now testing an Explore feature to put together a clothing shopping feed with AI. I don’t have this in Canada yet, but it has been spotted in the US and the UK, and the links in the article do work in Canada. I selected a bunch of women’s options and was presented with a feed that had a lot of men’s clothing, so this appears to work about as well as Etsy’s Gift Mode, which Liz Morton compared it to.

eBay’s sales and revenue were both up slightly in the first quarter, while active buyers were down 1% from the year before. 

Shopify

Shopify is reorganizing Support, in part to inject more AI into the process. Employees are worried about possible layoffs. 

Walmart

Cart.com is now helping new sellers start on Walmart Marketplace, and is offering multi-channel syncing for existing businesses as well. 

All Other Marketplaces

Vinted has turned a profit for the first time, riding the trend of interest in secondhand clothing.

Ruby Lane will be increasing its shop fee to $45 from $25 as of June 1, and will be removing the rebate for listing 15 new items monthly. 

Bonanza’s annual Spring sale runs May 8th to 15th. The coupon code sellers must activate is SpringSale2024. 

The EU has forced Shein under the umbrella of the Digital Services Act.”The European Commission specifically noted new requirements for Shein around illegal products on its site. The company will have four months to submit a risk assessment report and will need to introduce mitigation measures against “the listing and sale of counterfeit goods, unsafe products, and items that infringe on intellectual property rights.”

Shipping 

Labels service Shippo is introducing paid tiers for any businesses printing over 30 labels a month through its service. Anyone printing 30-200 labels a month will be charged $19 monthly; under that is free.

Canadian customers - who are already being charged 5 cents USD per label - are also affected, although we get fewer features and carriers [Shippo just confirmed this via support ticket.] Sounds like there are cheaper options for most of us elsewhere now.

[3dpe]

Update for 2024

Lads, ladettes, misceladious, time to lay out The Plan.

As 3dPE discord members know, I spent most of 2023 building up the battle systems; I was aiming towards releasing a new demo game, to test serverlessish multiplayer. However, something was nagging at me about it: how to make a game like that worth replaying?

I think the discord threeple might have organised some battles with one another, and I was planning a Friday Night Fight kind of event to encourage getting people together - but the problem with multiplayer is always finding opponents. Also, it's not any kind of brand new type of battles, and has quite a limited roster of mons and moves. I thought if I expanded the scope with a single-player story mode, it might boost engagement, but it increased dev requirements way more than it did the likelihood of people playing regularly. This had all been bothering me towards the end of the year, and along with burnout from work and personal things, I was finding it hard to move forward with the project.

However, I don't want to give up on that, because I'll definitely need multiplayer testing, and I like the stupid story and other stuff that I came up with for the demo game. So for this year, I'm going to rearrange the schedule a bit.

My primary focus now is to get the engine beta running. I'll drop battles for now, get the map editor stable, and get the core app to a place where it can self-update. We'll run it through more alpha tests, then start a semi-private beta where anyone in the discord will have access to it without me building it for them. Discord is a requirement for now, so that I can get feedback directly - but if you're interested in helping with alpha testing, join up now and ask about it!

With a healthy beta core, I'll have plenty of test subjects willing participants for multiplayer battles - because I'll be able to distribute it to beta testers as an editable project, where they can add custom mons and moves! That has a lot more replayability than 9 mons. I'm looking forward to seeing the first person work out how to rickroll with it. With a demo game release too, so non-beta-testers can battle threeple with crazy custom data, it should be some glorious chaos.

As always, thank you for your support and encouragement. I'm still recovering from burnout so progress will stay slow for a while. But I'm feeling better about this direction, so watch this space.

[growwithrandom]

The Best Notion Template for students in 2023 | Notion for Students | Notion Templates | Notion Progress Bars

With this article, I intend to inspire you with some useful ideas, for you to implement and get Notion working for you better than how you were already using it. Notion is the best tool I’ve come across when it comes to organization and productivity.

I heard about it for the first time 2 years back, and since then with each new update, it has only made my amazement and expectations go higher and higher. It comes power packed with some really cool features which allow you to customize notion in the most unique and personal way possible. The wide variety of formulas and tweaky tools offer you to make a one-of-a-kind program that works for you, however, you want. It’s no less than making your own app that functions to make your life easier. Thousands of notion templates available on the internet are the best examples of what all you can do with notion. My Notion Template is just one of them.

Now, this program/app of yours can perform various functions in different domains, depending on your use case and needs. It can be a daily/weekly planner, life tracker, budget/finance tracker, business workspace, etc. Today, I’m gonna elaborate on one from the ocean of use cases, which is, academics. Something I used Notion the most for. When I first got aware of the possibilities that come with Notion, and many intriguing YouTube videos showing how people, particularly students, ace productivity using Notion, I decided to use it on my own.

It took me a little while to understand how different features on Notion work, and how I can mold them to work for me in the most efficient, modern, and automated way. But after much effort, I’m finally satisfied with what I have come up with. If you are a student, or anyone, learning anything, and want to have an automated system that keeps a track of your progress, your data, your tasks, reminds you of the deadlines, tests, etc., basically where you can have your mind free for innovation and productivity, and the not the tension of remembering them. Then you are at the right place. This Notion Template can start your Notion journey.

Below is my Notion template which is packed with the formulae, and functions required to keep me productive and able to multi-task, at the same time.

*It’s NOT a tutorial, just a walkthrough.’*

Overlook

I avoid having too many things going on when it comes to work and focus. Especially when I already have so much work to be tracked, like my progress, ongoing tasks, due deadlines, reminders, routine, etc. So I aim for a minimalist layout, which conveys everything, without being cluttered. One which is modern enough to have every function successfully automated, but at the same time not overwhelming. As you can see below.

Apart from just reminding you of upcoming deadlines, this Notion template also has a table that populates with routine tasks due for the current day, out of the list of mundane tasks you will list down in the second table below the first one, to declutter your mind.

The Course Structure and Notion Progress Bars

The courses section, allows you to add new notebooks for every new topic/subject/project you start working on. Inside of it is a whole program sort of thing that shows the overall progress you made in that subject/topic/project, on the basis of the work, and the progress you made in the sub-tasks associated with it.

This is my favorite part of the entire database. This is the notebook template. Every time you click ‘New’, a new notebook is created with a fixed structure. But it’s not just an ordinary notebook that has pages for you to fill. But, it’s an entire program. Firstly it has an editable view of the ‘Notifications’ panel you had on the home page. A ‘Home’ button, to go back to the home directly. Then ‘Sources’ and ‘Notes’ sections, which, as the names suggest, are for having your notes and important sources for easy future reference.

The key feature though is the Template Button named ‘Create Subject Structure’. Every time it is pressed it makes a table. It’s not an ordinary table, it’s the whole and soul of my entire database. Because it is where you have your actual tasks and sub-tasks, and in return get the progress report. This becomes possible with the brand new ‘Notion Progress Bars’ feature.

It has 3 levels of difficulty columns, ‘Hard(H)’, ‘Medium(M)’, and’ Easy(E)’. The ‘Next Review’ Date column gives you a date based on the level of difficulty you choose for a certain topic. According to your understanding, it suggests a date of revision so that each topic gets as much weightage as required to make your grasp stronger in it.

The progress column is very important because it not only shows your progress in that topic, based on the ‘Review Count’, but also is the base for calculating the overall average reflected on the cover of the Notebook.

The ‘Review Count’ is nothing but the number of times you have gone through one topic. If it’s your first time, then the Review Count will be 1, and so on.

At the end of the ‘Topics’ column, the number of entries is automatically calculated, these have their own importance in calculating the overall progress score. At the top of the Notebook, you are asked to enter the number of entries, in the ‘Total Topics’ row, and the sum at the end of the ‘Progress’ column in the ‘All Topics’ Progress’ row. This gives you the desired result.

Overall progress, reflecting on the very cover of my subject notebook helps me decide which subject to prioritize and in which I am falling behind.

Extra-Curriculars and Relax

I also have a picture gallery section, this is optional, but personally, I feel that for small breaks in between your focus sessions, this is a very nice way to relax and refresh.

If you are a university/college student, you know how much is college life and extra-curricular important for you along with your studies. To keep a track of that, I maintain these very simple sections. I just add anything I am currently working on or involved in. Every new addition is made to form a page, so anything you do, plan, etc. can be easily stored there.

With these, all the things I need to care about, come together in just one page, which has an entire database inside. It keeps me productive, and on time, along with being easy, manageable, and fun.

Lastly, as is clear by the screenshots attached, you should definitely utilize the ‘Dark’ and ‘Light’ appearance features in Notion, this helps you give an altogether different look to your Notion template. I have different color combinations for both modes, I find it to be another nicer way to play with Notion.

If after reading this you feel pretty confident about your Notion template-building skills, then you can build a high-paying side hustle successfully out of it. Click here 👉 to know more.

Thanks for reading. Hope you got some useful ideas and tips from the database design and tools of my Notion Template. Do let me know if you wish for a detailed article on anything mentioned in this article. Do share your thoughts and suggestions below.

[hydrus]

Version 568

windows

zip

exe

macOS

app

linux

tar.zst

I had a good couple of weeks mostly figuring out better behind-the-scenes URL handling.

full changelog

urls

For normal users, tl;dr: URLs better now, you don't have to do anything.

I made a dumb mistake when I first created the downloader engine in how I handle URLs behind the scenes, and today it is fixed. You don't have to do anything, and you shouldn't see any big changes, but in general, URLs and query texts with unusual characters should work better now. You may also notice a URL in the file log or search log will appear one way, e.g. with japanese kanji, but when you copy it to clipboard, it is all encoded to %EF kind of stuff--your browser address bar probably works the same way. It should just mean things copy between your hydrus and other programs with fewer hiccups.

If you regularly use some very odd URLs or downloaders, there might be a hiccup or two. A file that relies of strange encoded characters in its known urls might redownload one time if a subscription hits it, or one extremely strange query text (it'd be a single tag query that has a % character somewhere in the middle) might need to be renamed to %25. If you have a crazy custom downloader that relies on %-encoding tech, please pause it before you update, and then do a test afterwards--it may be the hack you added for the old system is no longer needed. In any case, let me know how you get on, and if we run into a problem with a certain downloader, we'll fix it together. Overall, I'm hoping that working with encoded URLs exclusively will make more complicated downloaders easier to figure out in future, rather than having to fight with odd characters all the time.

I decided to cancel this release last week because I wasn't confident on how I was handling the advanced edge cases of encoding here. I am happy I did, because while all the 'just download from a booru' style downloaders (like the defaults) were fine, the most experimental downloader situations (that e.g. needed encoded parameter keys) needed more work. If you are a downloader maker, then you will be in the guts of these changes, so please check out the changelog. There's new UI in 'manage url classes'--path components and parameters now have their own edit panels with linked text boxes that show the normal and encoded values of the stuff you are entering, and there's also new 'ephemeral token' tech that lets you decide in what ways undefined parameters should be clipped before the URL being sent to the server. The idea of the 'request URL' being different to the 'normalised URL' is broadly elevated and exposed across the program.

other highlights

I also added a 'tag in reverse' checkbox to the new 'manage tags' 'incremental tagger' thing. It adds tags like 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 instead of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

And all new system:url predicates have new labels. They are all a bit simpler, and they should copy/paste into the system predicate parsing system. All existing system:url predicates still have their old labels, so if this is a big deal, you'll want to recreate them and re-save your session/search.

Thanks to a user, the new docx, xlsx, and pptx file formats get some nicer thumbnails and a little metadata. It should all recalculate soon after update.

The Client API is now more careful about which files you can undelete, and it also now lets you clear file deletion records.

next week

I want to put proper time into getting a 'future build' working. Last time I tried, I ran into some technical problems related to the newer libraries I wanted to bundle, so I'll see if I can fix it all and have a test release for people to try. Otherwise, I just want to clear out some small jobs that this URL work boshed.

[linuxlife]

Linux Life Episode 83

Well, here we are again ladies and gentlemen back at the blog stuff regarding my ongoing Linux experience.

Well since we last spoke I am afraid I had to retire my Dell Inspiron M6800 (Mangelwurzel) as the sound card finally decided to give up. So that meant the touchpad, the sound card and the top pair of memory sockets had stopped working so it had to go.

I have recovered the two 480GB SSDs that it had so I can reuse them in another project should the time come for it. However when one machine exits stage right to the farm. Luck would have it I managed to get a new laptop.

The machine admittedly is another Dell laptop but this one is new. The machine in question is a Dell Inspiron 3525. It's a 15.6” laptop with a Ryzen 7 5200U with 16GB RAM, an Integrated Radeon Vega 8 graphics card, and a 1TB NVME drive.

Sure enough for the first 2 hours of its new existence, it did have a copy of Windows 11 Home (stop spitting at the back there). However, after a bit of learning how to get around the BIOS, I managed to install Endeavour OS Galileo (the latest version).

As I had an AMD graphics card (even if it’s integrated) I decided to run KDE Plasma (in the past I have ran MATE but I thought I would change it up).

Now for the first few days, I was running just the basic setup but when I installed Steam only a few games would start. Terraria, Stardew Valley, and Starbound worked fine as they, I believe use Open GL. However, when I tried to run a game using Proton there was no dice as Vulkan was not listed.

I had to install the version of MESA with Vulkan from the extras and then I could get Untitled Goose Game to run including picking up my XBOX 360-style gamepad. However Path of Exile and Pacman Championship Edition 2 both threw errors running Linux native versions.

However, I then turned on Proton usage, and using the Windows versions both games worked without error. Strange but I am not going to argue they work and I am not going to question beyond that.

For some reason they work if it’s through DXVK but not through the actual Linux Vulkan driver go figure that. Considering I can now play them both fine I am not going to fight it.

Parkitect 1.9a works fine through Wine as it’s a GOG game version I am using.

I admit while I am not a huge game player it’s nice to see them in action.

I have also installed and tested various emulators the list includes Fuse (ZX Spectrum), VICE (c64), Caprice32 (Amstrad CPC), Atari800 (Atari 8 bit), and DOSBox-X (MSDOS). I will probably test a few more in time but all successful so far.

I even did my usual build of GDASH and it works fine. So I can play various incarnations of Boulder Dash should I ever feel so.

Set up OBS Studio, KDEnlive, VLC, Audacity, and more so it can be used to create videos or podcasts should the decision take me.

Also, Cairo-Dock is my choice of on-screen dock as it has been for many years. It’s pretty reliable and I can set it up pretty quickly now.

I have also installed some productivity apps in the form of LibreOffice, RedNotebook, Obsidian, and Focuswriter. I also installed InMyDiary via Wine as the Windows version is the most up-to-date one (I like Lotus Organiser and it looks/works the same).

So it has been running for over a week and I admit I am impressed with its capabilities.

However, it does seem the world of Linux is looking to dump X11 in favour of the Wayland compositor. Now on Mangelwurzel, I could not use Wayland as Nouveau could not run it.

But this new Dell (currently named Parsnip but could be subject to change) has a better graphics card and I have installed the version of KDE Plasma Wayland also.

So I can log out of X11 and switch to Wayland if necessary. It works and I admit speed-wise, it's slightly faster at program opening than X11, but Cairo Dock doesn’t support Wayland just yet.

However, I did manage to get a dock in the form of Latte Dock and it does work fine.

However Steam doesn’t like Wayland it works but man is slow and problematic so at this time I still have the system boot into X11 and change up to Wayland should I need it.

So where do I go with this new Dell laptop so far it has performed more than adequately. Also, EndeavourOS once again proves to be my preferred Linux flavour and I won’t be going back to a stable (Debian, Mint, Ubuntu) environment anytime soon unless forced.

Well, that’s a wrap for the moment… In turn, I will probably install MAME and maybe play with QEMU but that’s for the next episode should I get around to it.

Until next time… Take care.

[questioningespecialy]

Black Conversation; Everybody else stay ya ass outta it

oh shit this gon'be alot

pre-edit: This is all my own perspective. I don't recommend others follow suit with my mentality. Got my own tastes and my own issues. Do what works for you, booboo.

Context

So~ I should start off with context I guess. I'm AMAB and from the South (USA), moved to the Midwest for college (for opportunity), and the Southwest after ('cause i couldn't find a job basically 🤷🏿‍♂️).

First and foremost ('cause y'all mofos in here), the Midwest wasn't less racist. It was just less blatant. (iow: they had a bit more "class" 🙄) As for the Southwest? I'm noticing racism still, mostly from light(er)-skinned BIPOC's since I moved outta Colorado. Is there less now? I think? 🤔 Barely get out enough to say for sure. And haven't done the "look like you're on a date with a light-skinned/Euro woman" test yet. 😅 I'mma stop there before I end up writin' 4 different essays on the topics I brought up.

Let's Get In

Now, I already got a passport and been havin' the idea of gettin' dafuq outta this mud since middle school iirc. Why haven't I, though? 'Cause by time I had enough income to actually make a move I was caught up havin' too much fun. That and my options felt hella limited. Time for some more context.

I'm Black. Surprising, I know. There are only so many countries outside of the African continent that aren't gonna be full of people who only see me as a racial stereotype (positive or negative). [insert essay on how representation matters] Nevermind the places where there'll be plenty of folk who do not want my foreign (nationalists), dark (colorists), Afro-ass there. I ain't tryin'a deal with dem mofos, so any country that's got a low-ass percentage of African descended gets filtered out by default. Is that extreme? Am I not givin' places (and its many peoples) a chance? Yep. You think I'mma spend hella time lookin' up "is x country racist towards Blacks?" 140-ish times? Fuck dat. How'bout 10-20. And how would I get to 10-20? By filterin' out a mofo. Suddenly, dating apps.

How Africa Be, Though?

But what about countries within the African continent? Well, that's where it gets funny. See, I've seen how a handful of the Africans that went to my PWI viewed Afro-Americans. There's a default filter of what kinda person can "make it" to an American university in the first place, so I just assume they're representative of most well-off (or lucky) Africans. In short, 1 mofo thought they were better (like a Black sellout tbh), 1 just (benefit of the doubt here) fell victim to America's lies/propaganda, and 2 were both. 🤷🏿‍♂️

Why even bring this up if I've got the tiniest of sample sizes? Well, I later watched group discussions from The Grapevine (defunct as of 2022) where a buncha Afros brought up some things I took note of. One was of a brotha mentioning that, while he was accepted by the Africans in his area (New York iirc), he had to show them that he wasn't a stereotype first. So "one of the good ones" basically (aka: Some Euro shit). I'm sure somebody's gettin' ready to explain dat shit away. Go ahead. I'll probably read it. But here's the thing, I'mma talk how I wanna talk. And I'mma dress how I wanna dress. And I don't really feel myself in places where I don't fell "allowed" to wear a wave cap, locs, or a muscle-t. So why would I want the company (or intimacy) of somebody who thinks I should "talk properly"? Das a flag for me. Yeah, I've got plenty of people in my family who talk propa. And yeah, I'll do it when I feel like I need to. But a friend? A neighbor? The whole damn town? Fuck dat. I'd rather be me in a medium crime rate area than live in a low crime rate area where I can't actually relax.

And how much does this filter of mine limit my options in life? Hellas. Speaking from experience on the opposite end, I doubt I'll regret it and I'm pretty sure I'll be a happier healthier person for it, which is a whole'nother essay. 🤷🏿‍♂️

...Caribbeans 😐

There's another piece I should bring up before getting back to Africa: the Caribbean. First thing's first (yes, i've got an NPR bias), consider listening to or reading these:

Tell Me More's Behind Closed Doors: 'Colorism' in the Caribbean (July 16, 2007) 11min

Code Switch's Amara La Negra: Too Black To Be Latina? Too Latina To Be Black? (March 28, 2018) 35min

Code Switch's Black Like Who? by Gene Demby (April 15, 2020) 34min

Code Switch's Puerto Rico, Island Of Racial Harmony? by Adrian Florido (April 24, 2020) 32min

So the late Ayesha (a panelist on The Grapevine) brought up, during group discussions about colorism/racism in the Caribbean, quite a bit that the above links get into. Simply put, my Afro-ass gonna be treated a certain way for bein' dark and light-skinned mofos are likely to think they're better than me because they're White passing (outside the States). I don't feel like dealin' with dat bs. Sure, there are gonna be areas where it's less common, but I've got no reason not to expect those areas to be pockets compared to the size of the country itself. Which brings me back to the same issue I've had in the USA: "Where can I live?"

So, like,... where?

And that brings us to the next piece of the puzzle: I'm part of multiple marginalized groups. I'm an agnostic non-traditional "dark"-skinned brotha who's also a non-binary transfem with gynesexual-leaning omnisexuality. And I'm neurodivergent. And quite socialist. 😐 So~ my 10-20's gonna get filtered down to 5-10 real~ quick after a "Is x country homophobic/transphobic?" search. And I already know I'm gonna have to ease up on some of the "bear no ism against me" criteria if I don't wanna end up where there's ≤1% African-descended. 🤷🏿‍♀️

(hella anti-gays in the comments; 2 out of 3 of the hosts aren't allies)

So Nothin' Then?

You know a country that caught my eye a few years back? A place I ain't even heard of 'til they were on the news for ditchin' da Queen's ass in late 2021? Barbados,... which is >90% Afro 👀. And you know what I found? They had only just taken significant pro-LGBTQ+ steps. naw fuq dat

Well, Shit. 🤷🏿‍♂️

So where does that leave me? Well, I've felt hopeless about this from time to time. Depressed, pissed, etc. I mean, either I'm gonna start diggin' and find a place that's ideal or I'm gonna give up a part of myself that I know I won't want to... again. Which raises a question: Why bother? Why not stay? Why not just ride it out and try to resist/fight the bs where I reasonably can? Well, that's where we get into the usual territory. Genocide. How bad does it have to get for me (just me) to say "fuck this" and bail? We might be clearly heading in that direction with these damn Conservatives and Republicans my fucking god, but I'm not sure it's certain yet. Real talk, though, if Jewish (trans) people say "we're there" then we're there.

To finish up,

yeah, people who can leave probably should leave for their best interest. Though, it'll make things harder for those who remain. People who can't or have things tieing them here (e.g.: family) should resist/fight to keep it from getting worse (and try to live in racially safe areas). That includes votin', y'all. For every ballot election. (gonna be clear here that i'm of the "research every issue/candidate" mentality; i rarely ever take trusted individuals' word for it)

As for what I think I should do? Stay resistin' and votin' like I been doin', but also... get on dat research so I can have an immediate backup plan and be out this mud real quick. 👍🏿

Here Ya Gifts

ILGA's 5 LGBTIQ world maps: https://ilga.org/ilga-world-maps

Equaldex's collaborative knowledge base (and 14 maps) for the LGBT movement: https://www.equaldex.com/

SafeHome's 2023 LGBTQ+ State Safety Rankings (USA): https://www.safehome.org/data/lgbtq-state-safety-rankings/

(read the tags)

edit: Just realized days later that "every ballot" kinda sounds like "each political party's ballot". I meant every local and national election.

Do we stay or do we go

i have a serious question to my brother and sisters, all those stolen of africa and those that immigrated from their of their own volition and the generations that came after.

ive been doing a lot of listening to the goings on in the world, and ive been learning of our past and our history and philosophy and i have a question that we of the diaspora(not counting the islands in many regards and you'll see why) have not seemed to really be able to qive a definitive response to in the over 200 years since i've first seen this question be raised, and yes the context is different today from when it was first asked, and you may have guess what the question really is.

Do we stay and fight this oncoming wave of fascism and antiblackness that is sweeping through Europe and its settler states that it spawned? or do we turn towards Africa and the carribean nations?

I dont feel i need to say this, its very clearly not a "well if you dont like america, go back to africa" situation. but what im saying is, the western experiment, is falling apart at the seams, im sure we all see it at this point, most the other black folks i speak to are feeling pretty jumpy about it rn, my mother and my great aunt who hate each other and agree on nothing, are getting real strong get out vibes and pushing everyone to have passports. it feels like no matter where we look the white world is trying to position itself as being oppositional to and a defense against POC, the far right is gaining major traction enough in germany they are considering banning a political party(which they should) and that not to speak on much the rest of europe, which is trying to convince us not to be worried about the dudes waving nazi flags and making claims about russians being asian and thus being less human, american police violence just keeps going up to the point we aren't even safe in our own four walls, and much like the past they kill you and then take everything you owned so your family doesn't even get anything. france is proving how much distain it has for the people of africa living in its borders and the cops there are mad that they can't do even more extrajudicial violence against brown people. you got in nearly every EU nation at this point 1 or more parties who's whole thing is "we hate poc and immigrants and lgbt people" and they seem to be gaining support more than losing it.

so i guess im saying, is it worth staying in these places that just hate us? even when there is another place we can potentially go to that doesn't require us to do colonizer shit?

like don't get me wrong i get the idea, we been in x place 200, 300, 400 years why should i leave, my great grandpa had people like that in his life, they didnt make it long. but like you or i most likely aren't anywhere near where our families started in america or britian or france etc,(tho for us in settler states that shit gets even more complicated tbh) chances are your family much like mine has been pushed and pulled across the place to the point that we are damn near nomadic, we are the most if not the second most poverty stricken group in these places, we are more likely to be charged more for half par services goods and the state just refuses to support use to the extent where vast swaths of us are in food desert, areas with low access to internet services and more issues. i dont feel like we really leaving much behind except of course the friends and extended families we have made(which tbh is huge).

This shit sounds super doom and gloom and im aware of that, this isnt really for me to present a sunshine are roses situation, in fact i am really putting that on who ever sees this. if you can read what i laid out here and feel you have something constructive to say one way or the other, i wanna hear it. like i really want to hear both sides, this topic been around a long time, i feel its really about to become super relevent again and i'd like for as many of us to have discussed and thought about this as physically possible(talk to your families and friends about this too, they dont have to come reply)

so black folks, reblog, message in the replys, talk in the tags whatever, just think about this stuff critically and talk about it. poke holes as best you can, bring up whatever figure you can think of that ever even had a thought about this topic. learn about this topic as best as you can, its older than garvey by a lot. theres bad sides to it and not so bad sides to it.

non black folks, please just leave this alone, its truly not the type of topic you should involve yourself with.

anyway i go more i wanna say about it. and im not myself sold that i should move to say ghana(more likely to move with my gfs in Australia rn) and ill likely add more in reply to other people. be safe Everyone of the world.

[autiezo]

6, 12 and 28 for the ask game :D

heyyyy Riem! Thanks for the ask :D

I used to care a lot about my YouTube stuff but not anymore lol. Not caring has been super freeing.

The best parts about being online are the fantastic fanart on stuff I love, and the wide variety of amazing comedy.

The worst part is seeing people argue about stupid celebrity drama I don't care for. Urgh. I'd literally pay money to never hear anything about USA singers against my will. AJR is the only exception, I love AJR so much.

Also billionaires should shut the fuck up about money, and just donate to the poor, and stop fucking around with humanity. Every time I see news about a billionaire, my mood gets soured for at least 10 seconds.

hmmmmm...

a) All that positive talk like "Be yourself", "The power of friendship", "Forgiveness and Love are the answer.".... I find that many people don't relate to them, because they are hurt. They are tired. They have been burnt too many times before. I was one of those, kind of, a little. I only started believing in goodness, when I was further along in my own healing journey. I only learnt it after years of therapy and emotional support from loved ones, and there's no shame in that.

b) To get people to change their mind, shaming or accusing them of being the bad guy is... a very bad idea. It almost never works. You'll instead need to meet them half-way, and try to understand their point of view first. Then you can structure your side of the discussion, in a way they can understand.

For example, I was homophobic when I was a teenager, so more than a decade ago. To be fair, I didn't know any better and only heard about LGBT from the bible and misguided christians. When people told me to fuck off or insulted me about my views, they didn't really explain why. Even if they did, they would have already lost me, because they viewed me as an enemy. Teen Zo's response to that was to double down, see the 'haters' as enemies in return, and then follow more extreme Christian stuff.

The way I was very slowly convinced to be a LGBT ally, was by people sharing their personal stories about their sexuality. By education that gave me the benefit of the doubt. By LGBT friends who weren't afraid to be themselves.

Of course, there will be people who will never listen to your opinions, no matter what you do. In that case, telling them to fuck off is incredibly justified. I'm just saying that a "Two strikes and you're out" system is probably better than instantly insulting a jerk.

c) If you are a teacher, don't punish your student for simply speaking their mind or asking questions. They're exploring and learning more about the world everyday, of course, they'd test the waters. You should only correct them when they are being intentionally disrespectful or malicious. However, most children don't really do that. It's much more likely that they're trying to have fun, or that they are parroting a phrase they don't really understand.

Treat the youth like humans, like your equals. Their opinions are valuable even when they sound silly at first. They'd respect you more in the long term.

d) Do not befriend fake people or those who like to talk smack about others behind their back.

e) The NSFW / porn online community is weird as fuck, and the number of creeps and gold-diggers on there are much, much higher. If you venture there, it's best to be a lurker.

Yes, there are good people, but it's still a dangerous place...

f) If you wanna get started with voice-acting, you can the Audacity audio editing and recording software. It's free and very useful. All you need is that app, and either a cheap microphone or good headphones with a mic, plugged into your computer.

g) For voice acting again: If you are trying out a new voice, and if your throat feels scratchy after a few minutes, stop using it. No new voice is worth sacrificing your throat for.

besides disco elysium fanart? Nope lol. Does my decorating Livly Island game count? Probably not

[doctorstrangeaskblog]

How to use AI image creator Photoleap - Some hints -

Okay, so. What I have been understanding so far. The app will try to generate from zero anything you describe. However, since it's an AI and quite new, images might have distorted parts and not make sense. It might be hard for the AI to understand what you want, so it keeps trying multiple combinations. In order to get a picture that matches what you want you might need to try many times, so, in order to increase the chances of getting an AI generated picture that you want, you have to type things in certain ways and select the type of AI generated picture you want (you can choose many styles such as "film", "photo", "fantasy" and more.) Try a few of all of those styles so you know the style you want. Now, how to write the keywords. If you want a LOCATION Type: General location + elements in it + colors Ex: LIBRARY WITH PLANTS BLUE This will sort of narrow the image creation to what you want. Writing a color will induce the AI to use similar color spectrum You can also use other concepts, your imagination is the limit. Ex: ENDLESS TOWER MADE OF CHOCOLATE If you want a CHARACTER You can just write the character's name, but it will be generic. A hint is to write action and location. Colors too and other concepts if you want to specify more. Ex: DOCTOR STRANGE STUDYING IN THE LIBRARY Some characters have generic names, so you can specify the actor name. Ex: ELIZABETH OLSEN AS SCARLET WITCH WALKING IN NEW YORK. You can add more and more elements and try and try to see what you get. Remember to select the style- some styles work better for one thing...other styles work better for...other things. You have to try and find out. If you want to narrow MORE You can use: WEATHER in the rain, VIBE evil, dark, malicious, happy, sad. CONCEPTS endless, alone, distant, close. ACTIONS + OBJECT + COMPLEMENT. reading a book, attacking with fire green Ex: DOCTOR STRANGE WALKING IN THE RAIN IN NEW YORK DARKNESS ATTACKING WITH PURPLE FIRE.

If you want more than 1 character. It works better if you use actions to establish the relation between the 2 characters, or the AI might interpret as if you want 1 character with the traits of both characters (like, if you just write DOCTOR STRANGE AND WANDA, the AI might make Wanda wearing Doctor Strange like clothes or something.) Prefer: DOCTOR STRANGE WALKING WITH WANDA IN TEMPLE If you want a specific APPROACH There are many ways to approach a character. The character can be portrayed as a statue, as some sort of deity, happy, sad etc. So prefer: YOUR CHARACTER + AS + APPROACH Ex: DOCTOR STRANGE AS A STATUE Then, continue the phrase with the descriptions you want as I said before. Ex: DOCTOR STRANGE AS A STATUE IN THE RAIN IN A TEMPLE GREEN SUNSET.

I hope this was useful. I'm still testing how the thing works. Anyway, have fun combining stuff.

Also, remember you can take an AI generated picture and edit it to fix things as well.

[niksfics]

↬ FATE

↬ PAIRINGS: kenma x f!reader (side aka rebound mention) miya atsumu x f!reader

↬ WARNINGS: a whole lotta angst, breakup, it’s an online relationship, kenma is cold and hurts ur feelings

↬ SUMMARY: your relationship with kenma really had felt like the last one. He was it, turns out he didn’t have similar feelings.

↬ A/N: alright loves!! This isn’t proofread at all it’s 2 in the morning I’ll edit when I wake up, butttt Thanks to my lovely ex girlfriend you are now being graced with this steaming pile of trash. (Lovely was not meant sarcastically at all she is in fact very lovely.) Ngl almost, if not all of this story is about my relationship with my ex gf. This is how I cope people. ￫ It’s taken me awhile to actually be able to right something that’s why things kinda stopped. Tbh after she broke up with me it’s been very hard for me to write so hopefully this helps! And I hope you enjoy!! I would also just like to say if it feels a lil weird it’s cause these are things I’ve actually written in my notes I tweaked it a little to fit the story but it’s straight from the source 😩

WC | 2.5K

You sighed as you opened your notes app. Your eyes scanning over all of the little facts and quirks he had told you about himself. All the stuff you’d wanted to remember. The stuff that had seemed so important to you before. Now it was meaningless, almost like facts about a stranger. Almost as if you hadn’t spent four months learning about and growing with eachother.

You scrolled down a little bit right under, how his favorite marvel character is Spider-Man and you chewed on your lip. Your fingers hovering above the keyboard on your phone. You looked over the facts again. The things he dislikes and the stuff he adores, the things he likes to collect to the way he feels passionately about a certain topic. You begin to type.

Friday June 25th 2022 12:22 Am

I cried again tonight, because I still love you. It’s been a month and six days since we broke up. It feels like there’s a hole in my chest. You seem to be doing fine though, so I’m happy for you! This is the second time since we’ve broken up that I’ve felt actual physical emotional pain in my chest. Remember when I told you how bad it hurt after we broke up? Remember how you didn’t even ask if I was ok? Didn’t even bother to answer. Do you remember that? I remember. I’ve thought about it every day since. I remember it being so bad I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. Wasn’t until I’d called tetsu crying that he’d told me it was just emotional and I should probably try to relax.

I read through our old messages. I’ve never wanted something back so bad. Never wanted to beg anyone to stay till now. I wish you loved me like I love you. I wish I hadn’t grown so attached, wish I hadn’t fallen so deeply into love with you. I wish it wasn’t my fault that we broke up. I wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I wish I was fearless. Wish I could rise into love bravely. I wish I was brave when it came to you. I keep telling myself it was me. It was me not you. You didn’t love me anymore. You don’t love me anymore and you’re just too nice to say that. So you told me in the only way I could handle. Except you hadn’t used the words you should have. You got bored. We both know it’s true. You were bored of it, and I don’t blame you. I know we’ll never talk again, and part of me is so glad. Another part of me forces myself to read through all our messages though. I wish I could just tell you one last time. I love you.

You sighed saving it before closing out of it. Tears you hadn’t known were falling finally became known to you as they streamed down your cheeks. Your eyes puffy as you wet your lips, the salt of them coating your tongue. You were bitter and so were your tears. I briefly wondered what he was doing right now. Probably playing a video game. You knew his schedule all to well by now. Probably testing out a new game for his stream.

A new set of fresh tears fell as you remembered how you used to call him right before he went on. Being lulled to sleep by his occasionally curses and the clicking oh his controller or his keyboard.

You never expected things to end this way. You really thought he was the last one. Yes it had only been four months, but the way he made you feel. The way that it had felt. It had felt final, and you’d been friends before you even started dating.

You sniffle moving yourself to the kitchen to poor yourself a glass of water as you remembered how nervous you were when you first texted him. You had acumulated quite the crush on him back in high school. As Inarazaki’s manager you were required to go to the games, and even after your team lost you had stuck around. Watched him play and cheered him on. Two weeks later you had begun to text, as friends of course. It wasn’t until four months ago that you’d gotten together.

Your anniversary was only two days prior to your break up. You both had never been one to even care about that stuff. You had agreed early on in the relationship that we wouldn’t do anything due to the distance, and the business of our schedules. You were never one for remembering things like anniversaries anyways.

He really did feel like the one. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes you can just feel it. Like, you know that feeling you get when you know something is off or you know for sure something is about to happen even without being told it’s going to. That’s what it felt like to be with kozume kenma.

You thought you knew, you thought this time, this time its for real. You thought it was finally safe to say, that he was the one. You both had even admitted to looking for each others initials in those stupid soulmate tik tok videos.

You were finally in a mature relationship with someone you could talk about anything to. You had gotten so caught up in it, that you didn’t even see the end creeping up on you.

↝

You’d finally gained the courage to text him again. Unfortunately it was in a drunken daze. Your hands shaking as you fumbled with your phone typing things you’d come to regret in the morning. You’d sent him a series of texts telling him how much you missed him, how you didn’t understand how he was so okay. You had been a wreck that night. One of your friends puking in her toilet as you cried. You were happy of course that he was doing so well, but you’d been a wreck for so long and he hadn’t even changed. You told him you wished you could be okay.

When you’d awoken the next morning hair knotted in a complete mess and wiping drool from your chin your heart had sunk even lower. His response was cold. You knew that kenma could be cold. You knew that it was just who he was, but this particular text had felt so unfeeling and unfamiliar, it was as if he hadn’t even sent it himself. He had only ever talked like this to you once and that was when you first became friends all those years ago.

Kozume ❤️

Hey, it’s okay. And yeah you see what I choose to put up. I could be better. But I choose to stay optimistic and busy. Sorry that things are this way.

You had never seen so many periods in a text before. He only used grammar like that when he was peeved, and maybe you were wrong, maybe he’d done that on purpose, but it had hurt so bad. It had caused an ache so deep in your chest that you weren’t sure if you’d ever even dated him at all.

Yeah.

It was the only thing you could bring yourself to respond back with. How were you supposed to respond to that? You’d stared at it for so long and after you’d sent it you wished you had said more. Wished you would’ve said something more insightful than a simple, heartbroken, “yeah.”

Not too long later there was another ping and you held your breath. His name briefly appearing across your screen.

Yeah. I could be better. But I hope you do well soon. I’m sorry that I can’t really do much to help out

And of course you did the only thing you could do. Deflect. Pretend like you hadn’t said what you’d said not even fourteen hours ago.

No it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that you could be doing better.

He left you on seen. You knew you sounded like an asshole. At least to you, you felt like an asshole. Why couldn’t you have come up with something else. Why couldn’t you tell him the truth. Tell him how you felt. Tell him that you didn’t think you should be broken up anymore. That the month long cruel joke was over and you were ready to spend your nights falling asleep to him playing video games again. You didn’t though, and you never would. You’re not brave enough, too prideful to even try.

You swallowed down the bile rising in your throat as you realized even if you did beg him. Begged him to take you back. Tell him that you still love him. You were too late, and you just couldn’t be selfish when it comes to him. He is over you and it was so plainly obvious. You know that deep down. Know that he’s moved on, and it kills you inside. So you did the only thing you could do. Try and put it into words.

So as you lay in bed the warm body you let occupy your space sound asleep beside you, his toned blonde hair tousled slightly and you sighed. Finally away from the shenanigans of your friends you took a deep breath before you closed your eyes.

You opened up your notes app again and scrolled past the last entry. You swallowed again as you blinked the tears out of your eyes. Your thumbs beginning to move before you even gave them permission.

Wednesday June 30th 2022 1:39 Am

Here I am again. Stuck. Stuck in the same place I’ve been for so long. You know, I write so beautifully when I’m broken. I’m most of my best work is written when I’m being torn apart. But I just, I can’t seem to find the words. I can’t seem to put it into a document and turn out little story into a different story to cope. Can’t seem to write it out. Can’t seem to move on.

I hovered over the unfollow button on your page today, to keep myself from scrolling through your things again. To keep myself from getting hurt. So I don’t have to be reminded. I want to delete it. Delete where we officially met. On a chat through my screen. I wanna wipe the messages clean. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I want to delete our conversations. The hours long talks we had, but then, what happens afterwards? What keeps the memories alive. I’d never been so in love with someone before. I’ve never actually…. Been in love before. I thought I’d been in love, but it didn’t feel like that, and losing them never hurt like this. Losing someone has never hurt this bad before.

I’ve never felt the emptiness you left so deep in my very being with anyone I’ve ever met before. I can’t seem to pull myself together. And it’s pathetic I know. It’s pathetic that I’m still here. In the same place I was a month ago. It’s about to be two months we’ve haven’t been together. I’m hurting. Hurting so bad. It’s painful to look at you.

I haven’t deleted the photos even though I probably should. They’re still tucked away in an album in my camera roll labeled “us <3” the one one I made specially just for you. The way I’d been so excited when I was finally ready to tell my friends. I even have this stupid notes folder from when we were dating where I wrote all the little things about you that I never wanted to forget. I find you so endearing. Everything you do. I just couldn’t help but right it down to keep it safe so it never leaves my mind. So that I never forget. But now, forgetting is all I want to do.

I never thought there’d be a time in my life where I was more emotionally stunted that I normally. So stunted I can’t even put this, our split up, into words. Make it something entertaining for somebody else to read. Write a book about it. My publicist keeps asking when the sequel for my book will be done. I don’t know if it’ll ever be finished. I can’t do the one thing I’ve always been good at. I’m crying as I write this.

And I wish it would just end here in this little notes app. Wish the love would die in here. I always think I’m over you and then I see you again, and nowadays your everywhere. A very big hit and I’m happy for you and your success, but seeing you makes my heart squeeze in my chest.

I think I’m over you until I play that stupid fucking game that causes me to scream at my phone, or my laptop in frustration, but I just can’t seem to delete it because I know it’s something that you love. That show we used to talk about. I know you know which one, I can’t seem to watch it without thinking of what was. You’ve ruined it forever cause now it only reminds me of you. I know you’ll never see this, but I like to imagine you can. That my time for closure has somehow come.

When you told me you were sorry that things were this way, it was a real slap in the face. It stopped my false hope. My wishing. It all came to a halt. I’m glad. Glad that you’re happier. That you’re better without me. But god, now I’m so fucked up and I can’t even talk to you.

You were the only person I had left. The only one who understood me. And now you’re gone. You took a part of me with you that night. A part that I’ll never get back. I should’ve known that you would leave. I’ve never been able to get someone to stay for longer than three to four months.

I thought I could let my guard down though. I thought we were in the clear. I’d thought finally. Finally someone is gonna stay. I thought you were my person. I still think that to this day. I thought we were gonna make it. And now I’m with this guy I don’t even like. He’s not you, he doesn’t act like you. He doesn’t like video games like you do.

He doesn’t talk to me like you do. Like you did. But you know how it ended I don’t need to put it here. Unfortunately I’ll always love you even if you don’t love me. This is so scattered, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy.

With that you closed the app and put down your phone. Plugging in it and as it dinged miya atsumu rolled over in his sleep. He reached for you his hands wrapping around your waist to tug you against his strong body.

His gravely voice whispering through sleep, “mmm finally decided to come to bed?” You hum moving an arm under on of his to wrap around his thin waist. “Mhm, thought you might need the company.” You began to draw little shapes and letters against his back as he chuckled, “oh yea? How thoughtful of you princess.”

Suddenly it was quiet and your closed eyes opened to his wide brown ones, his eyebrows furrowing .

“Did you just spell kozume on my back?”

[manonamora-if]

Hey👋 So I'm thinking of making an interactive fiction game but I'm having some difficulty deciding in the tools/IDE I'm going to use.

1.Do you think it's better to use VS Code or using Twine directly?

2.What are the advantages of Sugarcube over Harlowe? Which is better: Sugarcube,Harlowe or Tweego for making an IF?

3.What should I consider doing for the stat page and the stats themselves?

Hi Anon!

There are pros and cons for every system/tool you could use to create IFs. Some have steeper learning curves, some have less customisation. It all depends on what you want to make at the end. Personally, I can only give you my experience/opinion on stuff that I tried. But just because it worked for me may not mean it will work for you!

Note: I am very bias on SugarCube and it being used in VSCode, because it works best for me.

1 - This is a preference thing:

Twine has passage mapping, will create new passages everytime you create a link, automatically publish the file in HTML for direct use, has set up passages to add CSS and JavaScript. You can also see the debug version/test your game in one click. Twine is mainly user friendly (bugs are being ironed out in the last version).

VSCode can feel nicer to code, but it will require some language extensions (I highly recommend T3LT, for code highlight) and a compiler (Tweego, you can find my template folder here). You will also need to format your file with the Twee Notation. Also: VSCode can look very daunting.

If you are planning on using Harlowe, Twine is already a great option. It is the only language with syntax highlight, button formatting (instead of typing code) and list boxes for macros.

If you are leaning towards other Twine formats, I would recommend using VSCode/Tweego together.

Note: T3LT will work with all basic Twine formats, has passage mapping and will highlight the macro code.

2- There is no better, it just depends on what you want to do with your project.

Harlowe is the most friendliest out of the Twine formats for beginners (similar to ChoiceScript in this sense). The toolbar for macros and formatting, and the syntax highlighter in the Twine App is really helpful to start dabbling with IF creation. BUT JavaScript use is limited at best, there is no Save menu built-in (but there is a macro you can use), limited audio support. And most importantly: not very optimised for large or complex games (it is still possible!)

SugarCube is the most popular and one of the more customisable format if you have limited knowledge of CSS/JavaScript. There are fewer built-in macros than Harlowe, but other coders have created their own macros (the best known being Chapel and HiEv). It does not have a toolbar on Twine (mentioned in the previous part), but the documentation is pretty extensive and tutorials are more available online. You can do more with the UI as well (audio/visual/settings): adding JSon to your JavaScript, editing the base HTML of the UI, etc...

I made the first version of Meeting the Parents in Harlowe (see my dev logs), but moved on pretty quickly to SugarCube when I got the logic being Twine coding (mainly because of the UI).

Note 1: The IF Forum*, Twine Reddit and Twine Discord are open to all for questions/help no matter the format. Everyone is super nice and helpful there (if you are encountering issues).

Note 2: Tweego is just the compiler. You will still need to learn either Harlowe or SugarCube.

*The IF Forum can help with most if not all IF Systems, not just Twine.

3- Everything will depend on the format and your story.

Does your story needs stat? Meeting the Parents doesn't, but will track ending reached.

What kind of tracking your stats should be doing? Exquisite Cadaver counts the rounds played and how many words written. SPS Iron Hammer will show your behaviour on the ship. CRWL shows the relationships meters. TTTT will have a tip "jar".

How should the stat be coded? Similar to achievements (true/false)? A counter than goes up/down? Should all stats be nested in an object or in an array (if you are not sure, just use the basic $variable) ?

What do you feel most comfortable coding/How do you want it to look? Check out my answer on the Stats Bar introduction (SugarCube).

I HOPE THIS HELPS AND THAT I DIDNT CONFUSE YOU |EVEN MORE 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

[help-im-a-medstudent]

Resources that got me through (UK) med school

Hello everyone! As we are at the start of a new year, I’ve collated this list of online resources/apps that saved me during my revision at various points of med school. I’ll put the links and why I think they are good. These are UK-based resources as I often found when I searched things that US stuff came to the top of the list and that wasn’t always helpful for learning management because guidelines etc differ. 

1. TeachMe Series

These are developing all the time and they have added Obs and Gynae, Paeds and Physiology which are new and I haven’t used. They are kept up to date and written by current health care professionals, and edited to ensure they are correct. The topics have really good diagrams, clinical relevance and key points. 

a) TeachMe Anatomy

When: Preclinical years

Pros: colour-coordinated diagrams, each topic has a clear structure, including vasculature, nerves etc. Clinically relevant links

Cons: detail can be a little overwhelming, I would use this to make notes that I then revised from (definitely not for last minute revision!)

b) TeachMe Surgery

When: Clinical years - especially final year when we had a specific surgery placement

Pros: there are two ways you can approach things - by presentation or by diagnosis which really helped me for linking differentials. Also it has topics on the practicalities of surgery and perioperative care which I will probably continue to use as reminders for my surgical job next year

Cons: If you need to know exactly how a surgery works it might not go into specific details about the operation, but it is aimed at med students and we didn’t really need to know that. Also, it is kept up to date but check the date the topic was written and consider triangulating sources for management because guidelines change

2. Geeky Medics

These are again all topics written by healthcare professionals then edited. They have a wide range of topics but are less focused on conditions like diagnosis and management and more about practical OSCE guides or how to be a doctor, with videos and checklists. It also has an app but you have to pay for it. 

When: Throughout medical school (and beyond!), particularly for practical or data interpretation exams (I go back to their interpreting LFTs and also death verification and certification posts a lot) 

Pros: good for demonstrating how to do various examinations and for revision because you can test other people and use a checklist. Also have lots of free quiz questions on geekyquiz and also loads of cases to take histories from each other without having to make it up yourself

Cons: not comprehensive when it comes to revising, and the search function i find can be a little...erratic with what it shows you.

3. BNF

There are two places you can find the BNF - NICE or Medicines Complete. There’s the same information on both, try them out and see which you like better in terms of layout. Also download the app, because the interactions checker is a lot quicker to use than on the web. 

When: whenever you’re learning about management of conditions and in the run up to the PSA you’re going to need to be very familiar with this website, so may as well start early (and you will carry on using it beyond med school) 

Pros: The treatment summaries are up to date and based on NICE guidelines so are UK specific. I liked to refer to them in revision because it’s a good single reference point when doctors give you conflicting treatment ‘preferences’. The pages for the drugs are set out in a uniform format and it’s really easy to find the information you need. 

Cons: the website is not always great for the pharmacology of drugs/saying which class a drug is part of. The treatment summaries are wordy and you have to sift through them sometimes, so not for last minute revision.

4. Almostadoctor

Again articles are written by doctors and then edited and ensures they are up to date. They have references at the bottom of the page for more detail but are a very good summary of conditions. 

When: all through med school. Has basic clinical skills, diagnosis and management 

Pros: The drugs section is very helpful for common drugs and has some simple pharmacology in there, and has flashcards for each topic if you find it helpful revising off those 

Cons: tends to be split by condition rather than symptoms, there are some ways of comparing differentials for example chest pain but it makes a big table which i find confusing

5. NICE CKS 

Oh boy is this site my saviour in GP, but I did use it in final year for some core conditions. It has referral criteria, decisions for management but it does allow for plenty of your own clinical judgement.

When: definitely more for finals to aid your revision, but after that if you end up on a GP rotation this is like a bible.

Pros: It’s really good for reminding you of red flag symptoms to check and also gives contraindications to certain management options

Cons: Not necessarily good for telling you what examination findings to expect and the site can involve clicking on lots of links taking you to other pages and then you can’t remember which part you came from. 

If anyone has any others that I’ve not mentioned feel free to add! sorry for the long post, but I hope these are helpful and good luck everyone starting a new year of med school! 

[failedthetopikexam]

My Top Korean Resources [2020 edition]

I have been discussing resources with a few people on private message and have been thinking a bit about what resources were the best on my journey.... so here’s my final (maybe) compilation of resources for the year that will hopefully be helpful for anyone who is looking at resources between the beginners and upper intermediate levels.

NB. This list is based off materials I have used in the past and is not an exhaustive list of ALL the resources I have used - it is just a selection of some of my favourite. There are so many Korean resources out there so there might be some that work more for you that I haven’t even looked at.

Course Texts

In my opinion, the perfect course text isn’t going to teach you everything you need to know, but a good course text will at least give you a clear framework to chunk up and guide your studies. I have used a few but the most user friendly one is definitely:

Talk To Me In Korean - they set things out clearly so nothing feels overwhelming and provide a sensible framework to follow for self-study. Other course books tend to be better suited for in-class settings and not great for self-study.

Grammar

The course texts will teach you about grammar but I think they don’t teach you how the grammar structures are related to each other. So I think it is key to look at one or more of these books:

Korean Grammar In Use: Beginners

Korean Grammar In Use: Intermediate

The above series is incredible and a serious MUST for all Korean learners. They clearly and concisely set out the grammar points and show how they are all related to each other. There is an Advanced book as well which I have yet to use and will teach quite complex structures.

Basic Korean: A Grammar and Workbook (I have linked the forthcoming version being released in Dec 2020!)

Intermediate Korean: A Grammar and Workbook

The above Routledge series is great for its workbook feature. The layout is a little academic so it’s not super appealing but the way they explain grammar is clear and relatively detailed. The number of examples included in the workbook is fantastic, providing a lot of opportunity to practice. I haven’t used the Basic book but if it is anything like the Intermediate, it will be a winner.

Vocabulary

The part that people often miss out when learning Korean is vocabulary, because it can be so easy to just follow course texts and grammar books, but those will never teach enough words. To learn more vocab, it is really important to read around. There are so many Korean language books that you can pick up, but here are some books and resources that are catered specifically for language learners that I have loved:

Korean Culture in 100 Keywords - they give a paragraph on different cultural aspects of Korea in both Korean and English and highlight all the new vocabulary for you. The texts are graded from easy to more difficult.

News in Korean - lots of short news stories with translations in English and comprehension questions. Might be targeted more at intermediate learners

Mind Map TOPIK VOCA 2300 - this book sorts vocabulary into categories and shows them as mindmaps. It also gives readers sentences in context and has mini quizzes, HOWEVER it is written in 98% Korean so this is a book that is definitely more pitched at upper intermediate levels and above and teaches vocabulary that is a little less common 

Anki - my most used resource. Everyone has their own favourite for flashcards and this is mine. Anki do spaced repetition meaning that it will constantly test your knowledge on vocabulary, spacing the quizzes/tests depending on how difficult you find the word. It is more efficient than other flashcard platforms, but it is a little tricky to get started and create your own cards. If you want to download pre-made decks, you can, but this works best when you add the words you have learned yourself so that you get decks that are full of vocab that is relevant for you

Beelinguapp - This is an app that has some story books written in both Korean and English. It also has an audio function so you can listen to someone reading the stories in Korean. This is neat for pronunciation and listening, and also identifying new words, however the range of stories are limited.

Gloss - Gloss have a set of online lessons pitched at different levels which takes you through articles or texts (or audio and video), then asks a lot of comprehension questions. It follows a lesson format so it is far more engaging than your regular book, however it is a little on the difficult side.

[EXTRA] Your First Hanja Guide - you might not want to learn vocabulary this way and it is absolutely NOT an essential, but for me it is helpful to visualise the Hanja character when seeing the relationship between words, so if you like learning words like that, then this is the book for you

Listening / Watching

Like with reading, there are multiple resources that you can use to listen to native Korean, but here are some that are specifically targeted at learners

여보세요 - this app/website has a few short video clips and goes through slowly to examine the meaning and new words, then has a number of test quizzes through multiple choice or through speaking (via microphone). There are different clips graded by levels and the app tracks your progress and gives progress reports.

Real Life Korean Conversations: Beginners / Intermediate - this IS a book, but it is best used in conjunction with the audio files. The book gives the script, as well as the vocabulary, and also looks at key grammar points and structures used in the conversations

Speaking

There aren’t many resources that I find great for self-studying speaking - generally you need someone else to do that with you, but here is one that I thought was quite neat:

Teuida - I just did a very quick run through this app as it is definitely pitched at beginners, but I thought that it was a smart way of learning some basic conversational Korean. It teaches you phrases and you have to repeat them back through the microphone feedback function. Then to test your retention, they take you through a mock situation and you have to speak your answers - there is quite a strong focus on getting pronunciation correct. My biggest downsides of this app are that the free sections are really limited, AND they seem to have geared the lessons towards the idea of dating, which I just find so awkward and embarrassing hahaha!

Writing

I’m in the market to buy some writing books and have my eye on some but am waiting until I have the time to work on them, but this book is quite neat for learning different sentence structures and how to construct meaningful answers:

Korean Q&A Sentence Patterns - this book poses a question and looks at different ways of answering it. It also shows variations of the question, then examines form. It gives an example long answer and prompts you to think about how to construct your own response using the grammar and vocabulary given

[datleggy]

Post-demise At Hand

TW: mentions of past OD, past drug use, off screen death of character (Alex), grief, anger, misunderstandings 

TK isn’t sure how to react to the news, if he’s being completely honest with himself. 

He learns about the death of his ex through a post on Instagram via an old mutual friend of theirs that he hasn’t been in contact with since even before he packed up his life and moved to Texas. It’s hashtagged: #RIP #gonetoosoon and TK almost laughs out loud like some kind of maniac, because is that all Alex's life amounted to in the end? 

Two half-assed hashtags and a badly edited picture of Alex smirking at the person who took the stupid photograph in the first place. TK remembers that day; Alex had finally passed his drivers test and gotten his license. He remembers telling Alex to smile, remembers his ex boyfriend turning to him, rolling his eyes, saying something like “Why did I bother with this again? We live in New York.” except TK can’t remember what he said to Alex to be on the receiving end of that knowing little smirk. 

The one he can’t stop staring at now. 

“Earth to TK!” 

TK almost drops his phone onto the floor, blinking up at the person waving their hand in his face. “Huh?” 

Judd gives him a curious look. “Been calling you for like a straight minute, kid, you doin’ alright?” 

TK nods. “Yeah, sorry, yeah, I’m good, I was reading an article, I uh, got distracted.” he shakes his head. “What’s up?” 

“Your boyfriend’s downstairs lookin’ for you--” Judd tries not so subtly to peek at whatever it is that’s got TK so enraptured and catches a glimpse of a familiar face, one that gives him pause. 

He frowns. “TK, what the hell? Stalking your ex, seriously?” he blurts the accusation outloud without thinking, which is of course the very moment Carlos and Paul come gallivanting up the stairs, their laughter at something one of them said dying out abruptly. 

Paul’s eyes dart between the two men and he clears his throat awkwardly before motioning for Judd to skedaddle with him. Judd, who couldn’t take a hint if it hit him on the side of the head like a tire iron, simply folds his arms across his chest expectantly. “Well? Your fella’s right over there, so what’re you doing all up in your ex boyfriends business?” 

Paul sighs. Jesus. “Judd. Maybe we should give them some privacy?” Carlos is scarily silent next to him and Paul just knows shit’s about to hit the fan, and he’d rather be far far away when it does happen. 

Carlos swallows hard, wipes his hands against his uniform pants, and says, “It’s fine. I’ll um, I’ll see you at home.” before turning around and going back the way he came. 

“Man.” Paul stares at TK, who hasn’t uttered a single word as of yet. “You’re not gonna go follow after him?” 

Judd scoffs. “And do what? Tell him it’s not what it looks like?” 

TK blinks rapidly a few times, as if coming out of a daze. “I--” His eyes go wide when he realizes what’s happened. “Shit.” he runs over to the edge of the railing to call for Carlos, but his boyfriend apparently bolted, because he’s nowhere to be seen. 

Judd whistles loudly behind him, arms still crossed disapprovingly. “Carlos is a good catch, TK, shouldn’t be messin’ around with him if you’re not--” 

TK whirls around to face him, the look on his face mutinous. “I wasn’t stalking my ex on Instagram Judd! Get your head outta your ass and outta my business!” 

Judd takes a step forward and Paul can see where this is headed; he immediately gets in between the two men, arms raised. “Hey! Enough! You two need to relax.” 

Judd huffs. “I’m not the one tryna step out on my--” 

“Alex is dead.” Saying it outloud is surreal. 

Alex is dead. 

What the fuck. 

Paul and Judd both give pause. 

“What?” 

TK sighs, aggravated, and shows them the post he’d been caught looking at earlier. 

“TK...” Paul gulps. “I’m sorry man.” 

TK nods but doesn’t utter a word. 

Judd cringes. “Crap, I--” He wants to smack his head against the palm of his hand as hard as he can. “I’m such a heel, Jesus TK, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed--I’m so sorry.” 

TK leans his back against the railing and this time it’s his turn to cross his arms over his chest. “Yeah, well...tell that to Carlos.” 

“TK I’ll call him right now and tell him I misunderstood, I swear--” 

TK interrupts him again with a shake of his head. “No, no, it’s better if I just explain it myself.” he looks up at Judd through long lashes and manages a half hearted grin. “I guess I should be happy you respect my boyfriend enough to snitch on my ass?” 

Judd knows TK’s throwing him a bone, but still, he doesn’t feel he can take it. “I do,” he admits. “But that don’t mean I should’ve went ahead and assumed the worst. You deserve better than that and for that I’m especially sorry.” The whole thing with his own father in law stepping out on his Grace’s mother is still messing around with his head, but that was no excuse to think the worst of TK, of all people. 

But TK tells him not to sweat it, he’ll call Carlos and tell him everything, no big, really. And then he asks the two men not to mention anything about any of this to the Captain or to any of the rest of the team, if it can be helped. 

Paul frowns. “TK, it’s not good to try and go through these types of things alone, you know.” 

TK shakes his head. “I’m not trying to, really. I just,” he shrugs, looking a little like a lost lamb. “I don’t really know how I feel about it yet? So I’d rather not deal with everybody’s sympathies right now, if that’s ok.” 

**********************

He calls Carlos but gets sent straight to voicemail every single time and when that doesn’t work he texts him that whatever he thought was going on, there was nothing to worry about, that he would explain if Carlos would just pick up his damn phone. 

Work gets progressively busier after that and TK barely has time to catch his breath, much less to try and get into contact with his boyfriend, and so it’s not until the very end of his shift, hours later, that he’s able to rush home--that is, he thinks sullenly, if Carlos hasn’t changed all the locks on him.

TK shakes his head; Carlos wouldn’t do that. He’s probably stewing though, and that thought doesn’t make TK feel any better as he steps past the threshold and inside. He’s had such a long and tiring day he hasn’t even had time to properly process what’s happened to Alex. 

Carlos has cooked dinner, if the wonderful smell coming from the kitchen is any indication. He’s at the table eating alone with the TV on in the other room for background noise, and he doesn’t even look up to greet TK, only motions towards the stovetop vaguely. “Help yourself.” he mutters. 

TK ignores the food and takes a seat right across from Carlos, leans over the table with a grimace. “Babe, I swear to you it’s not like that. Judd misunderstood what happened--” 

Carlos sets his fork down with a clatter that startles TK into jumping slightly. “Look, I get it, moving in is a huge commitment, it’s scary, I know, but I didn’t think you would--” 

“Please,” TK stops him. “Please let me just explain, please.” he hastily takes his phone out of his back pocket and opens the app. He can hear Carlos sigh above him but it doesn’t deter TK from finding the post and holding it up to his face. “This is what Judd saw me looking at.” 

Carlos reluctantly lays eyes on the photo, his irritation and hurt only peeking when he sees that it’s a photo of TK’s almost fiance. That is, of course, until he reads the caption, notices the hashtags below, and suddenly it all makes sense. He doesn’t know quite what to say, except: “Oh.” 

TK nods. “Caught me by surprise. I um, I haven’t heard from him since, well, you know. So I didn’t really know how to react when I found out and then Judd came up behind me and I mean, you know the rest of the story…” 

“Oh.” Carlos says again, because he’s still trying to process the news. 

“Yeah.” TK shrinks back in his chair and the wounded look of him finally snaps Carlos out of it.  

“Crap,” Carlos groans. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He gets up and rounds the table, kneeling down in front of TK. “I was hurt and I ran off without letting you even get a word in, that was messed up and I’m sorry. Are you ok?” He makes a face at his own question, because of course TK isn’t ok. The man he’d proposed marriage to a little over a year ago now has passed, after all. 

There’s no way he’s ‘ok’. 

“I uh, I don’t know.” TK admits quietly. 

Carlos puts a hand on his knee and squeezes gently. “It’s ok to be sad, Ty.” 

TK shakes his head. “It’s--I’m not. I’m not sad. I think? I mean...it’s not like we were on friendly terms, you know? I’m more surprised I guess, than anything else. He was still so young.” 

Carlos nods solemnly. “How did it happen, do you know?” 

TK clears his throat and scratches at the back of his head. “The obituary I found online said it was some kind of car accident near PA. I didn’t really find out any more details than that, though. The funeral was earlier this afternoon.” 

Carlos blinks. “Oh. None of your friends from New York said anything? Before today?” The fact that TK had to find out through Instagram is probably half the reason his boyfriend is finding it so hard to react properly to the tragic news. 

“I didn’t really bother to keep in contact with a lot of our friends when I left, to be honest. And plus, they were all Alexs’ friends before becoming mine. So he kinda had the right to keep them after the divorce...in a manner of speaking.” TK runs a hand through the greasy locks of his hair and grimaces. “Anyway, I should probably go shower, it’s been a long day and I’m kinda gross.” 

Carlos nods, letting TK worm his way out of the conversation without too much fuss. 

**********************

In the shower TK stands under the spray of hot water and stares blankly at the tiled wall in front of him, irritated by the jumbled thoughts plaguing him. God, he thinks, I could really use a drink right about now. 

What exactly is he supposed to be feeling right now? 

Grief? 

Anger? 

Or perhaps regret. 

It’s not as though TK ever got any real closure with Alex and now he never would. After being rejected by the man and worse yet, told he’d been replaced, TK hadn’t wanted to feel any of that pain and had gone to great and dangerous lengths to make sure he was good and numb that night. 

He hadn’t meant to overdose. But he’d popped a couple of pills initially, so sure that he could control himself this time, that this time it would be different. But twenty minutes later when the two little white pills had done nothing to soothe his aching heart TK thought, what’s two more? And then two more after that, and then maybe two more, and then he’d lost count, but fuck it, if he hadn’t felt better in the moment. 

The pills had worked! He couldn’t feel a thing, his head was blessedly empty and suddenly this giant weight had been lifted from his chest and he could breathe again. Until he couldn’t. 

The water is cold by the time TK steps out of the tub. He dries himself off and slips on a pair of boxer shorts and an old gray t-shirt. 

Carlos is waiting for him in the kitchen with a full plate, reheated, and normally the smell would be appetizing, but tonight it makes TK a little sick. “You alright? You were in there a while.” 

TK nods. “M’good.” 

“Here, sit, you should eat something before going to bed.” he sets the plate down in front of him and TK just stares at it like it’s the first time he’s seen food in a while and he’s not quite sure what to do with it. 

“Thanks, but I’m not really hungry. I think I’m just gonna go to sleep. I’m tired.” 

Carlos nods, his lips pursed like he wants to say something more, but instead all he says is, “Ok.” 

******************

It’s nearly three in the morning when TK wakes up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. He’s not sure how he does it, but he manages not to wake Carlos up as he sneaks out of their bed. 

A few minutes later he’s outside in his sweatpants and a hoodie, mindlessly jogging along his usual route. It’s not drugs or alcohol, but running does help. He runs and runs and runs until it hurts and even then, he keeps on running. It’s not until the cramping in his stomach is too much to bare that he finally stops and lets his body rest on a park bench. 

And it’s then that he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket and realizes he’s got three missed calls. “Shit.” he picks up immediately, holding the phone up to his ear with a shaky hand. “Hey.” 

“Where are you? TK, it’s almost five in the morning. What’s going on?” Carlos sounds frenzied on the other end of the line and TK can’t say he blames him. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep, I went out on a run and I lost track of time. I’m headed home now, sorry. Go back to bed.” 

“I can come pick you up, where are you?” 

TK sighs. “Carlos, seriously, I’m within walking distance, don’t worry, I’ll be there in like fifteen minutes.” he hangs up without letting the other man get another word in, which he knows isn’t right, but can’t really find it in himself to care. 

His legs feel like jello when he gets up and the trek back to their place is torturous enough to make TK regret telling Carlos not to bother getting him. By the time he makes it home he’s limping slightly and his stomach is in knots. 

The door swings open before TK can even take out his keys, and Carlos is standing there at the entrance looking a mixture of concerned and annoyed. 

TK rolls his eyes and ignores the look, pushing his way inside and kicking off his shoes at the door. “What?” he snaps, when Carlos won’t stop staring at him. 

Carlos frowns. “Stop that.” 

“Stop what? What are you talking about? I went out for a run. You’re acting like I went out to shoot up at a meth lab or something. I was gone for less than two hours!” TK half shouts, his frustration spiking up a notch. 

“Stop shutting me out. I know you’re upset about what happened to Alex, but you can’t just-” 

“About what happened to Alex?” TK scoffs incredulously. “Nothing happened to Alex, Carlos, he died. That’s not something that happens to someone and then they like, get the fuck over it! He died! He’s dead! Gone! Never gonna see him again, didn’t get to say bye or even fuck you to the guy, he just went ahead and died and that’s that!” TK lets out a choked little laugh that sounds more like a cry than anything and covers his face with both hands, tries his best to get his shit together and under control, but it’s no use. 

It’s quiet for a long time and then TK speaks again and it's soft and agonized, “I loved him.” 

And Carlos nods, takes him by the shoulders and leads him to the stairs, where they both sit down and TK buries himself into Carlos, into his safe haven, and his breath hitches loudly and Carlos says, “I know.” and TK lets out a big broken sob. 

“I’m here.” Carlos assures him gently, “I’m here. It’s gonna be ok.”

.

[hydrus]

Version 560

windows

zip

exe

macOS

app

linux

tar.zst

I was suddenly without internet for a while, so there was no release last week, but everything is back to normal now, and I had a great couple weeks' work. The 'edit times' dialog can now handle multiple files.

full changelog

editing times for multiple files at once

If you launch 'edit times' on a single file, everything is the same. If you open it on a larger selection, it will now show, in a summarised way, the range of each particular time type, and how many files in the selection have or do not have a time set there. The controls all work as before, but in general, when you set a time, all files are now locked to that new time. Give it a play and you'll see how it all works.

SInce we don't always want to set exactly the same time to a set of files, but rather ideally a similar, staggered time, there is also a new 'cascade step' system in the multiple file version of the dialog. Every time-edit you open up has the ability to enter a little step, say 100ms, which will cause the dialog to set each successive file in the selection to be that much later (or earlier, negative values are allowed!) than the last. This way, if you have a bunch of files of something contiguous, like a comic chapter, that all have different, merged, or otherwise awkward import times, you can now manually sort them in the UI using tags or hackery and apply a new import time based on the first file plus a few milliseconds each time. Thereafter, any time you sort those files by import time, they'll also be nicely in page order time, just as if you had imported them all together from one directory.

I am quite happy with the new dialog, and I plan to copy some of the new techniques I figured out to other dialogs for similar better multi-file handling. I'd also really like, as we have discussed before, to tackle a 'cascading' tagger in 'manage tags', so we can quickly set 'page:n' tags to many files at once.

misc

In v559, it turns out I did make a '54 years ago' mistake, on moving files from one local file domain to another. This is fixed, and on database update, any borked timestamps that were saved should be corrected too. Let me know if you encounter any more issues.

Mr Bones and the File History Chart are now under the database menu.

There's a new checkbox under 'files and trash', 'Remove files from view when they are moved to another local file domain'. This actually re-introduces the unintended behaviour we had a couple weeks ago, which was happening under 'remove when trashed', but targeted to the correct logical trigger.

The gallery downloader cog button now has a 'don't add new dupes' option, which discards the query_text/source pairs you add if they are already in the download list. If you need to paste a hundred queries from a big mishmash list, I think this will help.

As a very brief test, I've added 'sort files by pixel hash'. If you have some pixel hashes in your current query, this will make them stand out, but the rest of the sort data is meaningless. I had wanted to try out some similar hacky new tech with 'sort by perceptual hash', but thumbnails don't have quick access to that data yet, so it'll have to wait.

I wasn't sure when my internet was going to come back up, so I dumped a bunch of time into some longer cleanup jobs. There's a ton of updated code behind the scenes, particularly around the way files get informed about new metadata, but nothing you need to care about. I have some new plans here and can see the path to getting all sorts of new metadata commands integrated into the shortcut and undo systems. I changed a couple thousand lines, so there may be a typo bug somewhere--let me know if you try to set any unusual content changes and it throws an error!

next week

Now we have tech that relies on file order, I think it is time we get the ability to conveniently reorder thumbnails. This will also help when I figure out cascading tagging in 'manage tags'. I'd love to have reordering by simple drag and drop, but that may be too complicated to slip into one week. I'll see what I can do.

I have quite a few messages to catch up on, which I will try to tackle Saturday.