#I was stumped how to answer this; he's not really one to just accept random kisses from strangers personally | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jkstompers · 4 years

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just to study | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

summary: your seat partner asks if you’re free after class, just to study.

genre: fluff, college!au, established friendship, flirtationship, mutual pining, they go to a ‘frat’ party together, also yugyeom! a sweetheart<3 we love him.

warnings: mature!!, mentions of alcohol + alcohol consumption, mentions of sex, strong language, SEXUAL TENSION, mentions of dick sucking??, hints of a wet dream on oc’s end, very strong urges to kiss each other but no kisses today </3, that’s pretty much it!

word count: 7.4k (i...kinda went overboard)

authors’ note: hello!! this is a pt. 2 to sleepyhead! it’s based a few weeks after so yeah <3 also the pacing is kind of weird but… i don’t really know how being drunk is so............(＞人＜) i’m sorry about that! one scene was inspired by this post haha it was just so cute to think about i had to do it. ALSO i literally haven’t taken anatomy since high school so i just used random terms from quizlet T_T pls excuse that as well! but otherwise, enjoy!!!!!!!!! (っ^_^)っ

(if u see any typos...ignore them pls T_T)

side note: imagine jk looking like this when he goes to the party lmao classic fboy look with the camo bomber and his piercings ugh <3

banner pic creds here ! <3

you made it to class on time today, woke to your alarm and even had enough time to eat breakfast before you came. in a particularly good mood, you made your way up the stairs to the row jungkook was sitting in, hoping that the seat next to him was empty (you didn’t have to hope, jungkook always saved the seat next to him for you, no matter what.)

“good morning, ___!” jungkook’s voice greets you the same as always as soon as you appear next to him. he moves his bag out of the way for you to sit down.

he looks especially cute today. his long floppy hair framing his face, his sweet smile beaming up to you. you wonder how dumb you looked drooling over him for a minute before you replied, “hi jungkook, how are you?” with the same smile on your face that you show him every time he sees you. it never changes, but it never fails to make jungkook’s heart skip a beat.

“i’m doing okay, you?” he answers while you pull out your laptop.

you didn’t have a chance to reply before your professor starts talking. informing the class about the test that’s planned at the end of the month, finals in two months, and then dropping the bomb that there’s a quiz tomorrow about the things you’ve learned in the past week. a slight panic takes over you, although you didn’t know why, you understood what he was teaching and you were retaining all of the information well. but when the professor pulls up all the information on the screen to review it all, all of the words and pictures overwhelm you.

to make things worse, jungkook is to your left, not paying attention to a word your professor is saying. instead, playing some game where he has to click his touchpad an obnoxious amount of times. your attention is split between jungkook’s erratic tapping and the notes that the professor projects onto the screen, even though his computer barely made any noise, his incessant movement was distracting you.

“jungkook, you’re taking notes and playing a game?” your voice comes out as a rushed whisper. there’s a snort that comes from him before he nods. you couldn’t be mad at him. “there’s a quiz on all of this tomorrow, you know?”

“i know,” he continues to tap and click, the motion growing incredibly annoying. you didn’t know why you couldn’t have just tried to block it out, but he was just so close to you and admittedly, you looked at his hands, a lot. the way that his fingers tapped against his keyboard and his veins that accentuate his already beautiful hands, it was free art you could look at, how could you not? at this point, you’re contemplating holding his hand to make him stop tapping.

you were in the middle of typing when he finally stops, leaning back and stretching his arms up into the air. you let out a sigh of relief, until he starts again. apparently he reached the next level on his game, tapping even faster, if that was even fucking possible.

quietly, you groan. turning your attention solely on him. you place your hand on top of his, the tapping ceasing almost immediately. “please, jungkook, you’re distracting me.”

he looks at your hand before he looks at you, his chocolate doe eyes wide to the action. he gulps, “sorry.”

you remove your hand, focusing back to the presentation. jungkook feels the heat from his cheeks travel to his hand. the feeling of your hand on his wasn’t something he was expecting to experience today, but he wants nothing more than for you to do it again. he exits the game tab and changes his focus to the lecture.

or moreso, you focusing on the lecture.

you look so cute. your cheek pressed up against your fist. he stares at the way that your forehead creases in concentration. he taps on your arm that’s resting on the table, “hey, you look like you’re stressed out.”

you turn your head slightly to look over to him. “that’s because i am,” you send him a quick smile before you go back to looking at the projection.

he furrows his eyebrows, “why? you’re smart, there’s no need to worry about what you get on this.” you were an a+ student, never anything less than that. jungkook knows that you ace every test that you take, so he doesn’t quite understand why you’re so stressed.

“because jungkook,” you groan. you expected a lot from yourself, sure b’s were okay, but a’s and a+’s were what you wanted and what you thought would make you feel satisfied. there was no way you could explain this without sounding like an overachiever. so you just sigh, “i’m just not really prepared.”

jungkook thinks of the perfect way to spend more time with you, snapping his fingers before suggesting, “we should study together after class, studies show that studying with someone else will give you an a+, guaranteed.” the confidence in his voice makes you smile, and helps you ease up a little bit.

you raise an eyebrow, a laugh creeping up from your lungs. “source for that statistic, sir?”

he taps his right temple, the gesture making you snort. “no but seriously, i’ll help you out,” he assures. his laptop turns towards you to show you all the notes he took, different words highlighted and colored differently.

you act like you think about it, staying quiet for a minute or so. but you know the answer was yes no matter what. “just to study?” you tease. jungkook raises his eyebrows in surprise, an amused smile on his face, “just kidding, we can go to mine? i owe you for the ride you gave me like two weeks ago.” you tap your fingers against your laptop nervously, your teeth taking in your bottom lip as you ask. you haven’t had a guy over to your apartment, not since you’ve moved in. there’s a certain anxiousness that comes with the suggestion.

jungkook nods, “sounds good.”

“okay, again.” you brush your hair behind your ears, preparing yourself once more for another pass of the flashcards. the two of you have been at it with these cards for the past hour or so, you were determined to get these right no matter how long it took. jungkook knew you were gonna get it down, you only had three more cards, these ones specifically stumping you.

“aponeuroses,” he looks at the card and then to you.

“connective tissue that forms a broad sheet which attach muscle to bone or muscle to other muscles,” you speak confidently. jungkook nods, moving onto the next card of the set of three.

“endomysium,” he reads the card. you hesitate on this one for a second, he plays with the corner of the card until you snap your fingers.

“that’s the connective tissue surrounding the… the— uh, oh! muscle fiber?” your brain works extra hard. jungkook rewards you with another nod, flipping to the last card.

“fascia.”

“dense connective tissue,” you begin, pausing to think of the rest of the answer. you start biting your thumb nail, knowing there’s more to it but it’s not coming to your brain quick enough.

jungkook just stares, watching your facial expressions as you search for the answer in your brain. this could be the worst crush he’s ever had, he thinks you’re cute when you’re just sitting there, thinking. he doesn’t remember ever liking someone this much, most of the time his crushes went away after a few weeks or so. but it’s almost been an entire year since he’s started crushing on you, and it still hasn’t stopped. you still manage to find a way to make his thoughts surround you.

“separates and holds individual tissues? it’s the one that extends into the tendons, right?” you perk up after a minute or so. your brain finally coming up with the answer. you blame jungkook’s presence for slowing you down. maybe you shouldn’t have accepted this offer to study together, because how could you focus when jeon jungkook is sitting right in front of you?

“you’re amazing,” he praises, setting the flashcards down onto the table. you blush at the compliment, jungkook takes notice, but he doesn’t mind, he thinks pink is pretty on you. he’s never wanted to kiss your cheeks as much as he did now, and trust, he’s thought about it many, many times. “all done?” he asks after staring at you for the longest time.

you nod, “just gonna highlight these terms to review them later so i can get it down 100%.”

jungkook watches as you diligently reread your notes and highlight them. an apple on the table taking his attention away for a second when he realizes he hasn’t eaten at all today. he takes a bite, the loud crunch noise seemingly startling the both of you. it makes you turn your head and raise an eyebrow towards him.

“sorry,” he chews, “hungry.”

your stare lingers a little longer than you wanted it to. his cheeks are full of apple, you can’t help but laugh a little. “there’s still the sticker on it,” you point out.

he turns the apple around to see the blue sticker. peeling it off, he holds it on his fingertip, an idea sprouting in his mind to see that sweet smile of yours again. so he places the sticker on your cheek, your gaze moving from your screen to him and then to the fruit sticker now stuck onto your cheek. “get it? ‘cause you’re sweet like this apple is,” he smiles.

oh my god. you blush embarrassingly, your entire face flushed pink as you hide your cheeks behind your hands. he laughs at your reaction. jungkook was feeling bold today, so he moves forward, gently taking your hands away from your face to see the cute pink tint he caused. he sits back, admiring your pretty face.

you feel yourself burning hotter and hotter the longer he stares, looking everywhere but his face, too scared to make eye contact. you look back to your computer screen, “um— there’s pasta in the fridge— if you’re hungry, i made it last night.” you offer, but he declines politely, telling you that he has to leave pretty soon because his friends are expecting him to join them today.

begrudgingly, you watch as jungkook packs his things up. he thinks about how content he felt hanging out with you today, and how he wanted to do it again, as soon as possible. a thought pops into his head before he opens the door to leave. he turns on his heel.

you weren’t expecting the sudden turn, accidentally bumping into his chest. “oof! sorry.”

“it’s alright,” he laughs, helping you steady yourself by holding your shoulders. “i just wanted to ask— uh, my friends are throwing a party tomorrow night, do you— do you wanna come?” his words come out jumbled, jungkook never fails to trip on his words whenever he’s near you.

tomorrow night...it’s a friday tomorrow, the quiz is tomorrow, why the fuck not? a stress reliever from all the studying you’ve done. “sure,” you answer after a minute or so of deliberation. you look up at him with a smile, suddenly realizing how close the two of you are.

your eyes flicker between his eyes and his lips, the close proximity makes you hold your breath. “great! i can pick you up? be your DD?” he quirks his head, a smile that matches yours on his face.

you nod, “yeah, i’d like that.” with that, jungkook takes a step back, widening the space between you both as his right hand goes to hold the strap of his bag.

“okay, i’ll text you the details.” before he turns around, turning the knob of your front door and letting himself out. before the door closes, he sends you a wave, one which you reflect as he pulls the door closed. you move up and lock the door, your forehead resting against the cold metal slab.

you wonder if this crush will ever advance into something more. neither of you really push the agenda, most of the time just cutely flirting with each other and only talking to each other during class. maybe this party will be a chance to further the bond the two of you have. you could only wish that you could drop this nervous shield that pops up everytime you’re around him, but jungkook is just so cool. the campus heartthrob, everyone wants to be him or be with him.

for the rest of the day, jungkook seems to occupy your mind, as he always does. when you get to sleep, the fantasies of jungkook’s lips on yours drift you into a deep sleep, one that eventually leads to a dream that has you rubbing your thighs together. his hands were all over your body, his cologne that you were so familiar with tormenting your nose, it all felt too real. so when you woke up to the sound of your alarm, sweat beaded at your hairline. you took deep breaths, cementing the fact that he isn’t here, and he certainly isn’t doing those things with you right now.

it was not helping that you dreamt of him sexually on the day of your quiz, the one that you were immensely stressing over. now, you’re gonna have to walk into class, act normal around jungkook even though your brain produced pornographic images of him, (it’s not the first time, but it’s the first time you’ve had to face him right after it happened) and ace this quiz.

you tried almost everything you could to have cleared your brain of your dream sequence. taking a shower, eating breakfast, studying once more, etc. but when you’re walking into the lecture hall, flashes of the dream and the sound of his imagined moan echo in your mind.

you walk up the stairs with your eyes down, not sure if you could make eye contact with jungkook without turning red. “hey, ___, good morning!” the familiar voice greets you.

“morning,” you reply, dryly. taking the seat next to him and silently taking your laptop out, waiting for the professor to start the quiz. jungkook seemed a bit taken aback by your cold answer, but he took into account that you’re probably just super nervous and stressed out because of the quiz, so he doesn’t take it too personally. instead, just sitting back in his chair and waiting patiently to take the quiz as well.

at this point, you were psyching yourself out, swearing that you already forgot all of the terms. if you were quizzed on the parts of male anatomy, specifically jungkook’s, then maybe you could ace it, but the terms that you were working oh so hard to memorize yesterday slip from your mind. when the professor tells you to separate and start the quiz, you start to bite your thumb nail again.

jungkook takes a look over at you, noticing the bad habit of yours. he gently takes a hold of your arm, pulling your thumb away from your teeth. the action causing you to make eye contact with him and his big doe eyes that hold so much love and light. you find yourself a bit speechless then, too many thoughts running around in your mind.

he whispers, “you’ll do great, okay?” the statement soothing your nerves. his voice somehow makes your body relax, even though you thought you would freak out if you made any sort of contact with him.

“you— you too, good luck,” you mutter. a half smile on your face. you were grateful that jungkook broke you out of your trance, his words of encouragement suddenly placing you in the testing state of mind. the images from last night's dream seem to put themselves away for now.

the next twenty minutes are complete silence. everyone focused on the questions before them. of course, you zoomed through the quiz, prepared for the trick questions and the harder ones that come up. jungkook finishes after you. it wasn’t a surprise, jungkook didn’t even have to try, you swear you’ve never seen him stress out before. nobody was perfect, you believed that, but jeon jungkook was the closest to it.

“okay, class! the quiz will be graded by tonight hopefully, you’re free to leave,” your professor alerts the class. jungkook waits patiently until you’re standing, following you down the stairs and out the door.

you decide to speak first, since you greeted him with such a dry response this morning. it wasn’t his fault that you dreamed of him on top of you, so why were you punishing him for it? “how’d you think you did?” you asked, turning to look at him.

he shrugs, “good i guess, i think i fucked up on one or two questions.”

“was it the striation part? i think i messed up on that one too.”

he shakes his head, “you know you aced that, don’t lie.”

you stay silent, the two of you walking to the campus parking lot. neither of you engage in conversation as you usually do. the images of last night’s dream slipping into your consciousness once again. you try to shake your head, to rid yourself of the thoughts. nothing else to distract you from them because jungkook was oddly silent the entire walk. you fear that he can actually read your mind and see all of your thoughts. if he could, he doesn’t mention it. not saying one word to you until he walks you to your car, greeting you with a ‘see you next class!’ before leaving to go to his car. not even mentioning the party to you, you start to wonder if he regrets inviting you. up until you heard your phone ring when you parked in the lot of your apartment complex.

[10:24 am] jungkook: hey! forgot to remind u about the party 😫

[10:24 am] jungkook: ur still down to come, right?

[10:28 am] you: hi! yeah :)

[10:28 am] you: is there a dress code or smth? haha

[10:29 am] jungkook: not that i know of 😂

[10:30 am] jungkook: u can wear anything u want

[10:30 am] jungkook: ur cute whatever u wear

[10:31 am] you: oh stop it jeon ur making me blush

[10:32 am] you: but tell me :( should i wear something casual? pants? a dress?

[10:34 am] jungkook: 😂

[10:34 am] jungkook: it’s kind of like a frat party…

[10:35 am] jungkook: so anything is okay

[10:37 am] you: ah okay

[10:37 am] you: i’ll surprise u then ;)

[10:40 am] jungkook: alright :)

[10:41 am] jungkook: i’ll come by around 9 to pick u up? sound good?

[10:42 am] you: yeah! gives me enough time to nap and get ready lol

[10:44 am] jungkook: great :) see u then cutie

you wake up from your nap around one, you had more than enough time for you to get ready for a party. so you decide to clean your apartment first, little chores to waste time before you get yourself dolled up. when you finished, it was around seven thirty. you washed your face, brushed your teeth, all that good stuff before sliding on a simple black bodycon that you got last summer. styling your hair and spraying on your favorite perfume before looking at yourself in the mirror. this wasn’t too much, right? lots of people wear stuff like this to frat parties, so you didn’t find it too fancy. the notification sound from your phone goes off, you move to check and see if it was who you were expecting.

[8:54 pm] jungkook: i’m here :)

[8:54 pm] you: ahh gimme a sec i need to pee haha

[8:55 pm] jungkook: take ur time cutie

[8:56 pm] jungkook: i’m right in front

jungkook only really had to wait about five minutes. the visual of you walking out of your apartment doors, looking the way you did, was breathtaking. his jaw drops, mouth slightly agape as he watches you walk up to his car through the passenger window. you are so gorgeous. it’s probably the first time jungkook’s seen you in clothes that really compliment your figure, most of the time you show up to class in hoodies and sweaters. so greedily, he takes in the way the dress hugs your curves deliciously. he shakes the thoughts from his head to get out of the car and open the door for you.

“what a gentleman,” you tease, getting into the car.

he joins you soon after, “you look...gorgeous.” jungkook doesn’t seem so shy now, his eyes taking in your beautiful self.

“thank you,” you blush under his stare. “is it too much?”

“no! no— not at all, all eyes will be on you tonight.” he smiles, turning the car on. now you were able to gawk over him. a simple outfit, all black with a black and white camo bomber. his side profile is perfect, his long hair draping over his face so gracefully and his piercings somehow sparkling in the dark of the car.

he doesn’t drive too far, somewhere in the suburbs where the big houses are. a huge iron gate in the front, seemingly too fancy for a frat party setting. jungkook rolls his window down to greet someone waiting in front of the gate with a couple of other guys.

“jeon! you’re late dude,” one of the guys gives him a handshake through the window.

“sorry man, i’m here now though,” jungkook laughs. the guy giving him the greenlight and opening the gate for him, jungkook parks inside on their stone driveway, decorated with a fountain and a beautiful garden.

“your friend lives here?” you inquire, impressed by the look of the place.

he nods, “fancy right? his parents are ceo’s.” makes sense, and it would also make sense as to why they were throwing a frat party here, rich sons always seem to stir up trouble whenever they’re bored.

he steps out of the car to open the door for you, always a gentleman. he takes your hand and helps you out, the two of you walking to the huge open double doors. as soon as you walk in, the smell of alcohol hits your nose, you try your best not to cringe. the blare of the speakers is the second thing you notice, along with the shouting of jungkook’s friends greeting him. “who’s this?” one of them asks, referring to you.

jungkook seems to hesitate at first, not really knowing how to introduce you. he settles by saying, “this is ___!” not attaching any ‘friend’, ‘classmate’, or anything to the introduction. his friend holds his hand out to shake yours.

you take it with a smile on your face, “i’m yugyeom, it’s nice to meet you!” a smile that reflects yours is on his face, it made you feel welcome. you were never really the type to go to parties, your time is spent working and/or going to school, but this interaction helps you ease up a little more.

“hello, yugyeom!” you reply, shouting over the music.

“do you wanna take a shot?” he asks. pointing to the enormous kitchen where they’re housing all the alcohol, you look to jungkook first who’s paying more attention to his phone rather than the conversation you were just having.

you shrug, “why not?”

yugyeom leads the two of you to the kitchen, jungkook following behind you blindly. he looks up from his phone, done with whatever business he was dealing with to ask, “where are we going?”

“taking a shot,” you answer, pointing to yugyeom who’s already pouring three shots.

“dude, i’m not drinking, don’t pour three.” jungkook tries to stop him before he fills up the third shot glass but his arm knocks yugyeom’s in the process, the bottle spilling the clear liquid into the third shot glass.

“i’ll take two,” you suggest, feeling a bit wild and down to venture out of your comfort zone.

yugyeom smiles at this, “i like her, jeon.” he hands you the two shot glasses full of vodka, jungkook stands next to you and watches as you down the first shot. your face cringing as soon as the alcohol touches your tongue.

“you didn’t even give her a chaser,” jungkook notices, scolding yugyeom who's already downed his shot and is sucking on a lime. “here, suck,” holding a slice of lime up to your lips. his choice of words disorienting you, especially since he was holding the lime up to your mouth instead of just handing it to you. your eyes flicker between the lime and his face, but nevertheless, you suck. sinking your teeth into the sour fruit. jungkook’s eyes zeroed in on how your lips wrap around the slice, slightly grazing his fingers. it’s not long before you’re making a cute scrunched up face from the sourness. “good,” he praises. you don’t deny the slight burn your lower belly felt when he said that to you. you swear he was making sex eyes to you, but you couldn’t tell. he broke eye contact with you soon after, throwing the fruit into the trash below the table that the alcohol was perched on.

yugyeom hands you another lime for your second shot, this time no jungkook to hold the fruit for you. the second shot burning down your throat with the lime chasing after, both yugyeom and jungkook cheer, congratulating you for being a trooper (even though two shots were their warmups).

the next hour or so, jungkook brings you around. he introduces you to his friends and making conversation with them. one certain group, you didn’t really enjoy. a group of five girls, clearly swarming jungkook as soon as he turned around from talking to another one of his friends. the girls ask how he’s been doing, all of the basic conversation starters. when jungkook tries to introduce you, they all turn to you and give you a little head nod before turning their attention back to jungkook. he stands there, conversing with them longer than he had with any of his other friends, and you found yourself getting, hm, jealous.

so you search around the room crowded room, looking for some way out. your eyes spot yugyeom in the backyard through the huge sliding doors, sitting on one of those lawn chairs with the one next to him empty. you decide to leave the group you were currently getting pushed out of and join yugyeom. he notices you when you step onto the grass, trying your best not to sink into the dirt with your heels. “you doing alright? where’s jungkookie?” he asks, sitting up.

you plop down onto the lawn chair next to him. “he’s in there,” you point to the house, “with five girls.”

the last bit of the sentence makes him laugh, a cackle where he holds his stomach because he was laughing so hard. “do you want a shot?” he offers after he recovers from his fit, pulling a tequila bottle out from nowhere.

but you agree, “two, please.” he fills the two shot glasses, but not completely like he did with the vodka earlier. there were no limes, or any type of chaser for you to take around, so you take the two shots like ripping off a band-aid, quick.

“you’re a funny girl,” yugyeom compliments when you’ve downed the shots.

“thanks?” you cough, the feeling of the alcohol still burning your nose and throat, “what did i say that was funny?”

“i think it’s because i’m tipsy, but that joke you made about jungkook being with five girls was hilarious.” he slaps his knee, almost making himself laugh up a storm again, but you weren’t laughing.

you raised an eyebrow, speaking with a serious tone. “it wasn’t a joke, he’s in there with five girls.”

yugyeom tries to collect himself, sitting properly on the lawn chair when he asks you to clarify, “you mean he’s fucking them? or he’s talking to them?”

you’re silent for a second before replying, why did you say it like he was in there fucking them? maybe it’s because he might as well be, so engrossed in whatever the hell they were saying to even notice that you were gone. “just talking to them,” you reply.

“that’s what i thought, jungkook isn’t like that anymore,” yugyeom nods his head, pouring another shot out for you.

“anymore?” you ask. he hands you the shot, you hesitate this time, starting to feel the effects of the first four shots you took. he doesn’t push you to take it. he just leans back onto the lawn chair as he sighs.

“you could say he’s retired,” he shrugs.

the term makes you laugh, “...a retired fuckboy?” you sit back into the lawn chair as well, looking up to the night sky. the shot glass forgotten on the table next to you. your body feels like it’s floating.

“yeah, he hasn’t really been doing stuff like that recently,” yugyeom spills. you stay quiet after he feeds you this information. yugyeom offhandedly telling you that you shouldn’t be jealous makes you feel guilty. why were you even jealous? jungkook was technically still just a friend to you. just because the two of you flirt every now and then doesn’t mean you’re together. of course he would be surrounded by girls, just look at him!

“there you are! i was looking all over for you,” jungkook interrupts your inner monologue. his voice comes from across the lawn, you look up to see him walking over to you and yugyeom.

“hi, jungkookie,” you smile up at him. the alcohol having more of an effect on you the longer you let it sit in your stomach.

he almost freezes up at the nickname, looking over to yugyeom and asking, “did you tell her to call me that?”

yugyeom holds his hands up in innocence, “i didn’t tell her to do anything, she’s like five or six shots deep though.”

you take the shot that was forgotten on the table and down it. “six,” you clarify.

“alright, slow down, iron liver,” jungkook jokes. yugyeom stands from the lawn chair, receiving jungkook’s telepathic signals to get the fuck up to he could talk and hang out with you.

“play beer pong with me later, ___! i’m gonna go look for eunwoo,” yugyeom points to you, giving you a thumbs up before leaving the backyard and moving into the house.

“feeling okay? think you might throw up soon?” jungkook asks, replacing yugyeom in the chair next to you.

“feel like i’m surfing, you know? like wavy,” you answer. the feeling was hard to explain, you weren’t dizzy but at the same time your brain was telling you to stop moving, even though you were completely still.

“ah, you’re getting there,” jungkook snorts. you didn’t have much willpower to answer, so the two of you sit there in a comfortable silence before a group of people coming towards, all greeting jungkook and you. they offer you a red cup, despite your current predicament. leaning against the chair and your droopy eyes, telling them that you’ve taken too many shots. a lightweight at her peak.

jungkook tries to deny it for you, but with a smile, you accept the cup. it was filled with the fancy mixed alcohol juice they had. “thank you,” you place the cup onto the table, “i’ll drink it.... later..” your words begin to draw themselves out. jungkook somehow finding a way to make the entire group leave, making it just the two of you again.

“give it to me, you’re starting to slur your words.” his hand is open, laying on the table and waiting for you to surrender the cup.

your eyes flicker from the red cup, to his face, then to his hand. a smirk on your face when you hold the cup up to your lips, tilting it back and drinking the cursed juice. you weren’t able to down it all, it was too much, you drank maybe ⅔ of it. you cough, taking in a deep breath as you try to steady yourself.

you weren’t sure if it was because you were drunk, but the way that his face looks in the moonlight was so pretty. so you just had to tell him. leaning forward, you speak, almost a whisper, “you’re so handsome.” you drag your finger across the expanse of jungkook’s hand. “did you know i have no gag reflex?” you smile, not your typical sweet smile that he’s used to, but a devilish grin.

jungkook’s eyes widen, his cheeks flushing immediately at your remark. “alright, you drank way too much.” he takes the red cup from your hands, dumping it out onto the grass in front of you both.

“hey, i wasn’t done,” you pout, but jungkook didn’t give you much time to mourn your spilled drink before he was holding your arm, lifting you from the lawn chair you were sitting on. “where are we going?” you ask, trailing behind him with your hand in his.

“gonna get you some water and something to eat,” he answers. the two of you move through the house, jungkook pushes through groups of people and makes sure you’re safe behind him.

“i have to pee.” you tip toe to tell him your emergency in his ear. he stops at the stairs, knowing a bathroom where no one else goes. his friend specifically telling him to use that bathroom when they have parties because the other ones get way too gross.

he brings you up the stairs to the guest bedroom, opening the door to reveal one of the biggest rooms you’ve seen. “the bathroom is there,” jungkook points to the door on the left. you nod, your wobbly legs making their way to the toilet.

jungkook sits on the bed patiently, waiting for you to finish. he hears the flush and the sound of the sink running, the door opens and you’re coming out of the bathroom, pulling your dress down. “are we gonna have sex?” you utter, slurring the end of your sentence. your alcohol poisoned mind taking over your ability to speak.

his eyes widen at the question. “no! no— oh my god, this is just the room with the cleanest bathroom, we’re not—“

you’re next to him now, “you don’t want to?” you pout. glassy eyes looking into his.

“no! i mean, yes, i want to but— fuck, just— just not now, yeah?” jungkook stumbles over his words, his face blushing a blood red. your pretty face peering up at him makes him even more flustered, his hands start to sweat.

“okay,” you nodded. your drunken brain deciding to stop the interrogation of jungkook’s desire for you. to which jungkook lets out a sigh of relief, taking your hand and bringing you out of the room, down the stairs, and out into the driveway. he brings you to his car, opening the passenger door for you. “wait, are we leaving already? yugyeomie wants me to play beer pong with him,” you complain, wiggling your hand from his grasp.

goosebumps appear on your arm when you make it outside of the house. jungkook notices when he turns around to look at you. without a second thought, he takes his jacket off and places it over your shoulders. the newfound warmth shielding you from the cold night. he didn’t mind the breeze, especially since he was still recovering from the stunt you pulled in the guest room.

“we can come back later if you want, let’s just go grab something to eat first so you won’t regret this tomorrow morning.” his explanation is pretty solid according to your drunken brain, so you oblige, moving to sit in his passenger seat.

he joins you in the driver’s seat not long after. “can we get mcdonald’s?” you ask as soon as he sits down.

a smile appears on his face as he starts the car, “sure.”

the drive made you feel a little dizzy, it makes you laugh. “you okay?” jungkook asks, but you nod your head. he’s so sweet, always asking if you’re okay, making sure you weren’t feeling too awful, etc. it only makes sense that you were falling head over heels for him.

“totally fine,” you look over to him with a smile on your face. he’s so fucking pretty, his side profile is something you could rave about for days. as he’s pulling into the mcdonald’s drive through, he’s talking into the intercom, ordering the two of you something to eat when you’re suddenly mumbling, “mcflurry, kookie, oreo mcflurry.”

he looks back to you, an amused smile on his face, “oreo mcflurry?” he repeats. you nod, “okay, anything for you.”

he reiterates the request into the intercom and the server gives him the greenlight. he drives forward and waits until the next car moves up, in the time being, he looks to you. your head laying up against the door and your eyes slowly blinking, warning him that you might fall asleep. so he reaches into his backseat, his arm looking for the water bottles that he usually keeps in his car.

“hey,” he taps your arm gently, “drink some of this first.” he hands you the water bottle, you blink slowly, trying to figure out what he was handing you. once you realize it was a water bottle, you take it, opening it and gulping some of the water down. jungkook is grabbing the food when you’re screwing the cap back on. he parks somewhere in the parking lot and tells you to start eating.

you grab your mcflurry first, the feeling of the cold ice cream on your tongue soothing your dizzy brain. “yum,” you think out loud.

jungkook laughs, taking out his hamburger while he takes out your chicken nuggets. “make sure to eat some of this, yeah? don’t want you throwing up and hating me.”

the thought makes you smile. jungkook was taking such great care of you. sure, he let you down the alcohol like it was nothing, but you never opposed to it, always taking the shot because you wanted to. now jungkook is here, taking care of you, because he wanted to. you knew that if it were anybody else, they probably would have left you at the party, letting you fend for yourself. the sudden warmth in your chest makes you want to tell jungkook everything.

with his jacket wrapped around you instead of him, you can see the bulge of his arm muscles peek out from the short sleeved shirt he was wearing. even drunk, your brain seems to travel back to the images from your dream. “you know, i had a dream about you, a reeaaaallllllyyyyy dirty dream, jeon jungkook.” you blurt out the confession before your thoughts catch up with you, the alcohol still very much blocking off the common sense part of your brain.

he tries his best not to overreact, but you had a dream about him? a dirty dream at that? it awakens something in jungkook, but he pushes it down, ignoring the feeling as he asks, “you did? what was it about?” he curious as to what you meant and what your dream entailed, but he didn’t want to push too far. especially since you were drunk and most likely just spilling everything because your brain doesn’t have the willpower to hold it back.

you stick your hand into the bag to steal some fries, stuffing them in your mouth. “oh, you don’t wanna know,” you chew.

jungkook quirks a brow, “well, was i good at least?” he jokes.

you scrunch your nose, nodding nevertheless. “too good, couldn’t even focus during the quiz because of it.”

jungkook is silent for a second. the conversation making him hot even though he wasn’t wearing his jacket anymore. so he clears his throat, trying to change the subject in a subtle manner. “is that why you were so mean to me this morning?” he pouts, connecting the dots.

you laugh at the question, “sorry, i didn’t mean to, i swear.”

with that, the rest of the time is spent eating. jungkook makes sure that you ate enough and drank enough water, the empty water bottle in his cupholder as proof. “do you want me to take you home now?” he asks, the two of you finished eating and now a silence takes over the car.

“are you going back?” you ask, fiddling with your fingers. he thinks you’ve started to sober up, or maybe have gotten to the point where you just want to sleep.

he shakes his head to your question, “honestly, i’m kind of tired, but if you want to go back, we can go.”

“no, i’m okay,” you decline the offer. jungkook laughs, starting the car again and driving back to your apartment complex.

you take this time to try to get yourself together. you know you’ll regret confessing to jungkook that you had a wet dream about him in the morning. but in the moment, it felt right to confess, (to your drunken brain of course). you tilt your head back, pushing your head against the headrest, and suddenly, you’re reminded of the stars jungkook has on his ceiling. you were silent as you admired the lights, jungkook takes a look at you when he’s stopped at a red light.

so cute, he thinks, staring up at his ceiling like it’s the real night sky. when he pulls up to your apartment complex, he wishes the night could be longer, that he could spend more time with you. he parks the car in the front, exactly where he picked you up. you’re looking to him now, your hands in your lap and your heart seemingly beating three times as fast as it usually does. it wasn’t the alcohol.

“did you have fun tonight?” he asks. his voice never fails to make you melt.

you nod, “i did.”

“i’m glad,” he smiles. there’s a small silence before he speaks once more, “also, y’know, you don’t have to stress yourself out so much, i know you might have expectations for yourself and stuff, but you should give yourself a break from time to time.”

the alcohol’s effects fading slowly from your brain when you start to realize that the entire reason jungkook invited you out was to help you destress. it makes you fall even harder, he was so thoughtful. even though a party wasn’t your scene, he invited you to give you a glimpse into how he has fun and hoped that it would help you loosen up a bit. you were grateful for the mental break he provided you.

you didn’t reply, purely because you were thinking about how much you want to kiss him right now, but it wouldn’t be right. when he speaks up again, there’s a nervous lilt in his voice, scared that he’s overstepped. “if you need anyone to help you— i don’t know, let loose? you can— you can always call me.” he scratches the back of his neck.

but you try your best to reassure him, smiling at the offer. “i will, thank you for tonight, jungkook, i really enjoyed it, despite being a lightweight.”

he laughs, staring at the way your face cutely scrunches when you giggle. he too, is fighting the urge to kiss you, because right now isn’t a good time. he wants to do it right. he doesn’t want to fuck it up with you. so instead, he hops out of the car and moves to open the door for you. helping you out of the car and walking you to your door, your hand in his.

“i’ll see you in class?” you turn to face him, squeezing his hand.

he nods, “yeah.” his signature bunny smile coming out to greet you a goodnight. “text me before you sleep?” he requests. you give him a thumbs up before he’s letting go of your hand and you’re sticking the key into your door, it’s then that you realize that you’re still wearing his jacket.

“oh!” you exclaim, taking the jacket off and handing it to him. but he holds his hand out to stop you.

“keep it, you can give it to me the next time we hang out, or something,” he suggests. you try to hide the growing smile behind a nod.

you hold onto his jacket, “goodnight, jungkook.”

he sticks his hands in his pockets, sending you another grin, “goodnight, ___.”

jungkook drives home, his empty apartment welcoming him. he plops down onto his bed, not even bothering to change out of the clothes he was in because he was that tired. the events of today running through his mind.

he hopes you don’t think he was doing anything with those five girls. he saw you walk away when you did, he tried his best to escape the conversation, but they kept pulling him back. he gave up after ten tries of trying to get away, standing there for a good fifteen minutes listening to them babble about how much they missed him. jungkook had never rolled his eyes so many times in a conversation.

the talk the two of you had after was another thing taking over his mind. your dirty flirting and your dream you mentioned in the car had his imagination running all over the place. he didn’t want to push you when you explained, but he was very curious as to what he did in your dream, and how good it was for you to have it run through your mind all day.

his phone rings next to him. he turns and opens it, a smile on his face when he reads your message.

[12:32 am] you: hi jungkookieeeeeeeee

[12:33 am] you: im sleeping noww

[12:33 am] jungkook: alright cutie

[12:33 am] jungkook: goodnight! again 😂

[12:34 am] you: goodnight <3

he turns his phone off after that. looking up to his ceiling with a dumb smile on his face. his mind thinking of you and only you.

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wolfish-trickster · 3 years

Text

Old oak tree

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 2,3K+

Warning: typos, angst, itsi bitsi fluff at the end

Tag list: @gaitwae @lucywrites02 @hard-to-be-the-bard @birdgirl90 @laramoonworld @forevernthensome @kozkaboi

"So, what do you think?" Loki asked spreading his arms and showing you his new outfit.

You shrugged. "Looks good to me."

"Don't you think it's too much?" he checked himself in your mirror.

"Is anything EVER too much for you?" you asked with a smirk.

"I just...I really like her and I don't want to mess up."

"You won't, trust me," you reassured him.

He hugged you tightly, to your surprise. "What would I do without such a friend like you?"

The younger prince bolted from your room faster than you could answer. You sighed and closed the doors after him so no one could hear your heart breaking, again.

You and Loki were friends. Best friends actually. But you started to to see him more than that years ago. And you hated it.

You already accepted the fact he'll see you as only his supportive friend. If only he could stop asking you to help him woo his love interests. He always asked your opinion on everything. Flowers, his outfits, gifts he wanted to give them.

Once he even asked to kiss you so he could practice. It was in general your and his first kiss ever. Your head spinned when your life long best friend and crush in one person gently placed his lips on yours, his tongue sliding to your mouth. When he pulled away he just mumbled simple 'thanks' and ran away, leaving you flustered and with a face on fire under your favourite tree. At first you often sat under that old oak, remembering the feeling and smiling to yourself. However with every new interest of Loki you started to avoid the poor tree. Hate it even. You hated how it represented how you foolishly threw away your first kiss.

You still stood by Loki. What else could you do? Confess your feelings? As if that'll help.

You started to see pattern in his interests and you never managed to tic the boxes. You were only average among everything; intelligence, looks, skills. There were hundred and one people who were exactly like you. Loki would never choose you over a noble woman or man he was used to courting.

Now, when you were finally alone, you could think about what are you going to do about your never ending crush. You layed down on your bed and stared at your white ceiling. You already tried to avoid him in hopes you will loose your feelings for him, that didn't work. You wrote down every negative thing about him, trick your mind he isn't a good boyfriend material. Didn't work either since he is the kindest person you've ever met. And the gentlest. And nicest. With the most beautiful smile and eyes. And arms that give the coziest hugs.

"Fuck," you whispered and closed your eyes. It always ended like this. No matter how much you tried, you could never see him as something less than a great person he was.

Suddenly you heard his melodic laughter under your windows. As well as some girl's. You couldn't take it anymore.

"You know what? If he can date around, so can I!" you told yourself in pure desperation to get rid of the jealousy and pain from knowing he will never love you.

First thing you did was hiding everything he gave you as a child, every little trinket you cherished in false thought he's starting to catch feelings for you. You removed all of it from your shelves and put in a big box sliding it under your bed.

There, now onto the more complicated part: the oak of your very first kiss. Your heart ached with every step you took towards it. It was already old and not so full of life like it used to be. Its bark was dry and overgrown with moss. The poor thing didn't have enough energy to grow its leaves as viscoulsy like few years ago. No one visited it anymore. It was lonely just like you.

"Looks like you're few years from death, old buddy," you patted its trunk. "Let's end your missery now."

You were on your way back to your room holding a little pot filled with soil. Nothing was growing out yet, but in few months you were expecting a small oak sappling to grow. You couldn’t say goodbye to your old wooden friend just yet.

There, deep in halls, sounds are resonating. Sounds you soon came to hate. Kissing, Loki chuckling, some woman moaning, door closing.

You sadly looked down at the pot and took the biggest diversion to your room, avoiding coming any near Loki's bedroom.

Few days later you still avoided Loki. That time was the first time he had brought anyone to his bedroom to do....that. It was good he didn't ask you to practice on you. If he did, you would've.... you don't know what would you do. Probably panic first and get angry next.

While Loki was, let's say, occupied you got closer to one soldier, Arne. He was kind, tall, ginger with freckles and very skilled fighter. He wasn't the smartest but he had a sense of humor and always tried to make you laugh. He wasn't Loki though, but it didn't matter. At least you kept yourself busy, so your heart could heal.

Right now you were in stables with Arne. He was telling you how he got his first horse when he finished his soldier training few decades back. You were braiding his mare's mane as he stood right beside you, his shoulder lightly touching yours. Everything was at peace.

"Y/N! Y/N, WHERE ARE YOU?" came Loki's voice.

Almost everything.

You turned your head towards his voice. He was rushing towards you until he stopped when he noticed Arne standing so close to you.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked a little irritated.

"Well-"

"It doesn't matter, I have to show you something," he took you by the hand and started dragging you out of the stables only for you to slip your hand from his and hugging Arne. "See you tomorrow," you waved him goodbye and walked out, Loki trailing after you.

"So, what is it you wanted to show me?"

"What the Hel was that?" he pointed at you and behind him at the stables, completely ignoring your question.

"A hug. Why?"

"Since when are you hugging random soldiers? And since when are you even hanging out with low ranking soldiers like Hofferson?"

"His first name is Arne, and I'm allowed to hug whoever I want. Same goes for hanging out. Now are you going to show me the thing or can I return to him?"

"Right," he remember, took your hand again and ran to gardens. To the familiar now empty corner. "Look what some bastard did," he pointed at the wide oak stump.

"Yeah, I know."

"You do? Oh, darling," he threw his arms around you. You fought with yourself internally to not hug him back, but being close to him after a very long time felt just too good not to give in.

"I'm so sorry. I know it was your favourite tree. I will find the culprit and-"

"You don't have to," you interrupted and pulled yourself away from him.

"I do! That tree meant a lot to me too. I was actually working on a spell to bring life into it again."

"And how exactly did it mean a lot to you? I never saw you even near that tree."

Loki stuttered. "E-ehm, we had our first kiss underneath it."

"As if that meant anything to you," you muttered.

"What?"

"I said it was old and it had to be cut down."

"Well you could've asked me before you killed it," he spat rather angrily.

"My family planted it, I get to do whatever I want with it!"

"Did it mean so little to you?"

"No. On the contrary, it meant the world to me! That's why I had to cut it down!"

"What? Why? I don't understand you," he shook his head.

"Well excuse me for wanting to destroy the biggest thing that reminded me how my best friend stole my first kiss!"

"Stole? I asked and you complied!" Loki defended himself.

You groaned. "Okay fine, you didn't steal it, I lost it. Now can I go back to Arne?"

"Lost it?! Have you got any idea how many people would murder for a kiss from a prince? And why do you want to go to Arne so desperatelly? You never talked to soldiers before, so why the change of heart?"

"I like him, he's nice and courageous and-"

"I forbid it."

"What?!" you couldn't believe your ears.

"I forbid it. You can't whore around with soldiers like him, think about your reputation!" he crossed his arms infront of him.

"Whore around? Look who's talking! You've had at least 5 lovers in the past month!"

"T-that's different."

"And how exactly is it different, Loki?"

"I-"

You waited. Nothing came out of him.

"That's what I thought."

Few days passed, you continued avoiding Loki and he started to close off from everyone. Occasionally you saw some green sparkles in a shape of a person sitting on the oak stump. You figured that must be Loki under cloaking spell. All you wanted to do was run to him and hug him, he looked so depressed and lonely. Just like you were when you saw him with all those lovers in the past.

You felt bad for him. But you doubted he felt bad for you back then. Or now. So you always walked pass him, pretending you didn't notice him.

*knock knock*

You looked up from watering your growing oak sapling. Who could it be? You weren't expecting anyone. "Who's there?"

"Guess," came a dull voice.

You put away your watering kettle and hid the pot behind courtains. "Come in, Loki."

He stepped inside wearing one of his ordinary clothes, his hair wasn't slicked back like he used to style it and he had apologetic expression on his face.

"Y/N, I came to apologize."

Loki is apologizing. Now that's new. "What for?" you asked teasingly.

He sighed. "For saying you were whoring around. It wasn't right from me," he pulled out your favourite flower from behind his back, "friends?"

You took the flower. "Okay, friends."

Loki clapped his hands excitedly. "Great, now that we're at good terms with eachother I-"

"No!" you silenced him. You knew there had to be a catch. He made up with you just so he could ask you for help. Just like always.

"You don't even know what I was about to say."

"Oh, I think I do. You want me to give you advices again. Well, guess what? That's not happening. So you can, as mortals say, do 180 and walk out that door," you pointed behind him to your bedroom door.

Loki held out his hands in surrender. "I wasn't going to ask you that! I just want to talk."

"Oh," now you felt stupid. "Okay, a little talk never killed anyone I guess."

"Thank you," he let his hands fall down and took a walk around your room. "I see you were redecorating," he noticed all of his trinkets he gave you were gone. He assumed you most likely threw them out or burned them. Just the thought of it hurt him.

"Yeah," you hugged your arms to comfort yourself. "I still have them, I just didn't want to look at them anymore."

He turned towards you. "Why? First the tree, then my little gifts. What's next, me?" he joked to ease both your and his growing anxiety.

You chuckled lightly and shook your head. "No, don't worry."

He walked to you and put his hand on your shoulders. "Then why? We're best friends, right? We can tell eachother everything."

"That's exactly what I can't do," you grabbed his hand on your shoulder and slowly removed them.

"Why? Do you... do you hate me?"

"What? Heavens no! I could never hate you!"

He sighed from relief. "Good. But then why? I can't think of a single reason you would do those things. Wait. On a second thought," he held his chin between his thumb and index finger and looked down like he always does when he was thinking. He shook his head then and chuckled to himself. "No, that's absurd. You could never be in love with me."

You involuntarily tensed up. He noticed.

"Or could you?"

Tears started burning in your eyes as you nodded. "Sorry."

"For how long?"

After few minutes of thinking you shook your head. "I don't remember when it happened. It just happened."

"Well, when did you realise then? That you...you know? Are in love with me?"

"Few days before the oak kiss, I guess."

"But that was decades ago! This long time and I never saw," he facepalmed.

"And you...?" you asked hopefully. Maybe he will tell you he loves you too, right?

He sighed. "I'm sorry Y/N. I love you, but not like that. You have always been like a little sister I always wanted."

You nodded. Of course he doesn't love you like that. How even could he? You turned away from him and let some tears escape.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," he rubbed your back. "We can still be friends. Nothing will change between us. I promise."

But it already did. Everything changed for you. How could you even look him in the eye?

You wiped away your tears and put on a perfectly rehearsed fake smile. "Okay, I can work with that," you offered him your hand, "friends?"

Instead of shaking it he hugged you. "Friends."

You hugged him back and let your fake smile fall. Your naive little self told you he will change his mind in the future. You are already so close with eachother. Closer than anyone you know. It's just a matter of time. For now, you can only dream.

#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki fluff #loki angst #loki x female reader #loki x reader angst #my writer's block is finally gone and I can write again!#wohooo!#loki oninson #loki laufejarson #loki

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hellfireclub-at-thebau · 3 years

Text

Boy Wonder

Chapter 3: The Cabin

Content Warning: Small fluff, mentions of serial killer, cursing

Word Count: 2.2k

-----------------------------

I set my bags down with a sigh, almost laughing at the sight in front of me. “They stuck you with protective custody watch?” I asked, setting my small handbag on the wooden table, which was close to a comfy and small kitchen.

“No, actually, I volunteered.” Spencer explained, going to help me grab my bags and help me unpack.

He volunteered? Usually, no one volunteers for the duty of watching the subject in protective custody, so why would Spencer willingly spend so much time, for who knows how long, in this cabin with me? Sure, he was my best friend, but I would think he’d rather be more hands on with the team.

“You volunteered? I didn’t know you could volunteer for duty.” I shrugged, grabbing another bag and walking towards the main bedroom with him, while he struggled with carrying my heaviest of all bags: my clothes.

“I figured I should before you were placed with a random agent. I know familiarity and comfort is probably what you need right now.” Spencer groaned, as he picked up my bag and placed it on the queen bed.

There’s only one bed. How was this gonna work? Were we gonna share it, or was one of us gonna take the couch? My mind told me to just claim the bed before he did, but my heart desperately wanted us to share it.

Did I really admit that to myself? Sure, he was cute, but I didn’t see him in that way, did I?

“Need some help there?” I asked.

“What do you have in here? A ton of bricks?” He asked, as sweat started to form on his forehead.

I laughed, grabbing the bag from him with ease and unzipping it. “It’s clothes. I know damn well that we are gonna be here for a while.” I smiled, biting the tip of my tongue as I did.

Spencer gave a slightly shocked look at the contents of the suitcase, but finally gave into the facts of the situation and shrugged.

RING!

My cell phone rang in my pocket. I put up a finger as if to say “Excuse me” and I looked at the caller ID: Luke Alvez. I twisted my mouth to one side of my face, before giving a sad look to Spencer.

“I should probably take this.” I said, about to press “Accept call” on my phone.

“It’s alright. I’ll leave you to settle in.” He nodded, closing the door as he left to the main room. I finally answered the phone, putting it on speaker.

“Hey, Luke. Didn’t expect you to call. Everything okay in Boston?” I asked.

“Everything’s fine, just frustrating. Not to scare you, but this is a different level of sophistication. Rossi is practically stumped.” Luke explained.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. We always do.” I practically lied.

“I meant to talk to you before we all went our separate ways. I wanted to check in on you. I know it’s awkward, but… I’m worried about you.” He finally admitted.

I sighed to myself. Yes, it is a bit awkward at the moment, being in such a stressful situation and yet, my ex is more involved than I am.

“I’m fine. I’m just… nervous. But, I’ve got Spencer, and Teddy is being taken care of. I’m sure it’ll all blow over soon.” I kept nodding, like a calming motion to myself in order to not break down in tears.

“Don’t let the kid get too nerdy on you.” He laughed to himself. “If you need anything, anything at all, I am right here. The whole team is right behind you. And we love you. I love you.”

Fuck, how do I respond to this? It’s been six months, Luke.

“You too.” I muttered.

“I gotta go, but I can give you a call later if you-”

“No, that’s alright. I think Spence and I are gonna order pizza or something, so I’ll be okay. I’ll see you later.” I quickly said, before hanging up the phone.

I lied back on the bed, finally letting my hair out of my high ponytail. I took a deep sigh, closing my eyes as I ran back the events of the day so far.

It’s my birthday. My serial killer father has an obsessed copycat fan. I’m stuck in a cabin for maybe a month with my best friend. My ex is possibly starting to crawl back to me.

If anything, I should get a purple heart just for not crying today.

I figured at this point, there was no use in wearing my work clothes, so I rummaged through my bag of clothes and found an old T-shirt and a pair of black leggings. Changing out of my pencil skirt and blouse, I quickly put on the comfy clothes and felt more in my element. Taking off my heels, I decided to go barefoot around the cabin. Fuck splinters. If anything, a splinter was nothing compared to what I’ve had to deal with today.

I opened the door to the main room of the cabin and saw Spencer, hanging up the landline. I guess he had just ordered the pizza.

I sat down on one of the armchairs and sighed, running a hand through my dark brown hair. Spencer looked kind of sad at my state, and he gave me a small look of worry.

“Spence, I’m fine.”

“Did you forget I’m a profiler?” He asked.

“Did you forget I’m also a profiler?” I snapped back at him, almost out of nowhere. I stammered and shook my head, putting my head in my hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that. That wasn’t meant to be mean.” I leaned forward, letting my head rest in my hands.

I felt him kneel in front of me, putting his hands on the outside of my thighs. “I know today sucks. And right now, it feels like things are getting worse. But let’s not focus on that, okay? The pizza is coming in about half an hour, and we are gonna celebrate your birthday the way you want to. Does that sound okay?” He asked.

I nodded, not daring myself to look at him. I couldn’t cry. I’m desensitized to crying. After seeing what I have seen in the field, there is no reason why I should cry over a small little thing like a birthday or a case.

“We can watch Friends on TBS while we wait.” He suggested.

“But you hate Friends.” I said, finally looking at him.

“I know. But I might like it if we watch it enough in this cabin.” He smiled, giving me a small laugh.

His laugh was the breath of summer air that I craved every June. He could be crying, and still have the most beautiful laugh.

Stop it, you can’t do this. This is cabin fever, and this is your best friend. Besides, he has other things in his life to worry about, and you do too.

—-----------------------------------------

“Oh! He’s a… transpondster!” The laugh track echoed through the set.

“That’s not even a word!” Monica practically screamed, as the laugh track got more intense.

The cheese pizza on my plate was practically gone within five minutes of getting it, while Spencer was taking bite by bite in order to enjoy it. You can’t go wrong with Papa John’s.

I looked over to check on Spencer, like the normal thing one does when you show a friend a funny video or TikTok, and he was… smiling? He was laughing at Monica’s freakout over the loss of the apartment. The reaction from the boys made Spencer give a chuckle.

“You actually like this?” I asked, setting my plate down.

“Of course. It’s kinda funny how a simple trivia game, and an argument over a chicken and a duck, cause the loss of their apartment.” He sped through, his eyes lighting up.

“So, are you a fan of Friends now?” I asked, which triggered an emphatic nod from the kid genius.

“You have totally convinced me. However, I wonder how much they’re paying for rent in that place?” He asked.

“Don’t ruin it with your reality check!” I pleaded jokingly, which triggered him setting his plate of half eaten pizza down on the mahogany coffee table.

“I’m just saying, the average rental price in Greenwich Village is $3,505 a month, and with that size of an apartment complex, plus the balcony, it’s gotta be way more.” Spencer spat out from his encyclopedic mind.

I rolled my eyes, picking up his plate from the coffee table in order to throw it away. I laughed to myself, shaking my head as I threw both plates away, and explored a cabinet near the kitchen. Upon opening it, I found an old record player, and a box of records.

“Look, they have a record player! I’ve always wanted one of these!” I exclaimed, setting the device on top of the cabinet and grabbing the box of records.

Spencer then turned off the television, coming over in order to examine the contents of what I had found. “See if there’s anything good in that box. We could play some.” He suggested.

I scrolled through a few of the records. Bob Marley, Frank Sinatra, even Adele. But then… I found it. The absolute Mecca of all records.

Tina Turner’s Private Dancer.

I gasped louder than I ever had before, quickly taking the fragile record out of the slip and placing it on the record player. “Spence, please tell me you’ve heard at least one Tina Turner song.” I pleaded.

“I’ve heard Proud Mary.” He said, which triggered another gasp from me while I placed the needle on the spinning record.

“This album is one of the best. This is her comeback album when she became a rockstar! Has her best solo hits on it!” I smiled, as the 80’s synth exuded from the record player.

Spencer gave me a wide eyed look, as he was surprised that I had somehow mustered this much energy.

“All the men come in these places. And the men are all the same.” Tina’s sultry voice sang.

I sang along with the wonderful woman, grabbing a fake flower from a vase as a microphone. “You don’t look at their faces, and you don’t ask their names.” I sang along, somewhat horribly.

Slowly, but surely, Spencer pried the flower from my hand, and extended one of his towards me, which caused me to stop in my tracks.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I remember you told me that you’ve always wanted someone to take you out dancing. Even though this isn’t the best scenario, would you… want to dance with me?” He asked.

I softly took his hand, my delicate skin touching his calloused palms. It was as if the background disappeared, and all I could see was him. I stepped closer in order to place a hand on his broad shoulder, and I shivered when his other hand was placed on my waist.

We began to sway back and forth, and I couldn’t help but focus on his chest, or his shoulder. It was as if I had nowhere to look. He was taller than me, so looking him in the eyes would have been awkward, though it would have been awkward nonetheless.

But as if by instinct, I stepped even closer, pressing my body against his, and placing my head on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat, and it was beating as fast as mine. Still, we continued to sway to the music.

“I’m your private dancer, dancing for money. Do what you want me to do…”

Tina’s voice became even more angelic, as I swayed around the room with Spencer Reid. His thumb carefully caressed my waist as we danced, and it was comforting.

The music died out, and we slowly stepped apart from each other, looking each other in the eye.

Something told me to kiss him. But I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, I shouldn’t.

I have never thought about anything like this with Reid. It was never a possibility. I have never thought of him like this, felt like this about him.

We stared for a moment, before Reid broke the uncomfortable silence. “I think we should get some sleep.” He suggested, almost whispering.

I nodded. “Yeah, it’s been a long day.” I said, breaking eye contact with him.

I pulled my hand away from his, feeling uncomfortable with the loss of his touch.

“I’ll take the couch.” He said. “I need to get some work done anyway.” He quickly made his way to the couch, but he looked as though he regretted it.

I nodded, almost floating in the spot where I stood. “Goodnight, Spencer.” I said, as I made my way to the bedroom and closed the door. I leaned against the door, closing my eyes.

This night can’t end like this. But then again, he could never go for a girl like me. He needed someone smart, someone beautiful, someone who’s dad wouldn’t kill them if he got out of prison.

But my heart told me to go out there. I went to turn the door handle, but I couldn’t. I shook my head, rubbing my eyes.

There was no way I was falling for my best friend.

#spencer x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid fluff

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resignedseraph · 3 years

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I decided to read through my old diary today, and I found this... honestly sad part of it from 2018, a few months before I left the cult.

(TW for: PIMI-type talk, body horror relating to animals)

Transcript of the entry:

———

2/27/18

Today I was getting out some quarters, and I was pulling up a lot of cash. While I was taking it out, I thought,“If I pull out one more twenty dollar bill, I will—“ and then I did pull out a 20 dollar bill. I’m not sure what the last part of that thought was going to be. It might have been “I’ll be annoyed,” or “I’ll give it away,” or “I’ll sell something.”

Dunno about that last one though. I also had this really random thought saying “Give $11 to the church,” and I’m not sure if that was me or God or what. Then the notion of giving the three twenty dollar bills in my hand to the church popped into my head. Again, not sure where that came from. My decision: I will give $11 and keep the $60 to be used only for God’s glory through me. I am satisfied.

2/28/18 (at 2 AM specifically, for some reason)

I am sitting on my bed upstairs right now because I had a disconcerting dream. There were three miniature ponies in a white room, they had skulls for heads and no hooves; just stumps. It wasn’t like they had been tortured — actually, they didn’t seem to mind. Then one by one they fell over and just became skeletons under skin. While I was dreaming, I supposed this was for the horse hides to make into leather or something.

Then I woke up because I didn’t want to watch that anymore. And then I reminded myself that people weren’t being cruel to animals, but that I invented that dream whether I like it or not.

I went upstairs where I am now and wrote this all down. While I was writing I wondered if this was an answer to a prayer that I sort of asked for so I could know if I should donate the $60. I unintentionally put the dream into a context that is less strange. I don’t know why I did that, but I saw it like the horses with skull heads and no hooves are Christians who are wishy-washing and look okay on the outside and are better on the inside but still have problems.

The second stage, with only skeletons and hide, is like Christians who aren’t being used because they don’t obey immediately and miss the opportunity.

Then they are ready for their skin, tanned, and to be sold because a person decided to put the animals through such agony even though it looks like they’re fine and actually really good. But without feet or a mouth to hold the bit to the reigns, a horse is completely and utterly useless.

The selling of the skin is the Christians filling seats in a sermon and going to youth events, but [not paying attention (I put an ableist analogy here at the time but this was the gist)] to any of the lessons. Then people ask the Christian how God has worked in their life, out of curiosity. The Christian thinks and can’t find a single thing to say besides “He has given me a good job, friends, shelter, food, money, and entertainment.”

What is missing from that is the fact that He has given you tech at your fingertips to use for Him, He has given you a place to live in a country that doesn’t persecute Christians, and the list goes on. But no miracles, nothing about making ends meet, nothing about being asked to do something hard and being rewarded seven-fold.

Now I’ve decided what to do about my dilema. I will give the $60 to my church to use (towards missionary work, hopefully). Why? Yes I could use it to buy things to praise God (like art supplies to draw pictures praising him), or I could save for college, or get newer clothes (newer, but not new), or any number of things.

But what’s the point of some of those, actually all of those, if it’s not what God wants? In Heaven, sixty measly dollars isn’t going to mean anything when you’re walking on gold streets. When I’m older, who cares what the heck I spent $60 on? But if I gave it to be used, a person might accept Jesus because of it. Last time I said I was satisfied with my decision, I asked myself, “Are you sure you’re not lying to yourself? Because I know if you are” and I answered, “Yes I am satisfied,” because at that moment I was.

I did it know what to do but I tried to compromise with God. Not a great idea. “Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice good. For wisdom is better than rubies, and all things one may desire cannot be compared with her,” Proverbs 8:10-11. I wrote that down because it’s exactly what I’m dealing with. Now if someone asks me “What has God done in your life?” I will answer,“He told me to give $60 to the church, and I don’t regret the loss of it.”

I hope God rewards me for doing this, but even if He doesn’t (which I don’t think He won’t reward, it’s just the Bible says He rewards), I will don’t regret it.

———

So. That was a thing. I later got $75 in the mail because of a thing I had participated in, and just assumed that was the “paying back,” but I’m honestly a little pissed that I gave that sixty bucks away. The entry is just.. full of jumping to conclusions about symbolism and grasping at random thoughts. That and the way I talked at the time threw me off tbh, what with the capitalized “he”s and the verse-quoting.

Also that part where I implied that it’s not enough to say that God had provided someone with their basic necessities and more? And that at the time I valued sacrifice and struggle more? Sheesh... It’s still so weird to see how I talked and wrote and thought about things at the time.

I’m not sure what the purpose of this post is, but reflecting on entries like that is important to me, since I can see how far I’ve come since then.

#Esrah talks #how it was growing up #ex christian #ex cult #ex fundamentalist #ex evangelical #ex baptist #long post

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the-blackest-spider · 3 years

Text

Random Asks | Always Accepting

@myuuzupunk left a message: Hermine stands in the middle of the bridge into Madripoor, armed with a rifle in one hand and various knifes. "I didn't think the Black Widow would ever actually come here," she states. "Whatever you're looking for, you won't find it. There's plenty of people here who ache to kill you." She's ready to fight if needed. This is her home after all.

It was a rare day when a man standing next to Natasha wasn’t that much taller than she was. Or in this case behind her, until she takes a step to the right to reveal him. Natasha didn’t even have to look to know his current mood. Already Logan was none too pleased, but he also wasn’t the type not to help a friend in need.

“You. Are gonna owe me big time for this one. All over a damn robot?” Logan grumbled around the cigar between his lips.

“I have a feeling I’m going to end up owing a lot of people before this is over, so one may as well be a person I trust,” Natasha shrugged, “and yes, only he isn’t a robot… I’m not even entirely sure he’s an android and if he is, he’s extremely advanced. He makes Vision look like a paperclip, well would.”

“An’ you think The Hand is gonna have answers, you know they ain’t gonna sing for free. You sure you wanna owe them? They wanted to own you once or did you forget ‘bout that?” Done with the smoking stump between his teeth, Logan let it fall to the ground and rubbed it out with the heel of his boot, “Stubborn as fuckin’ ever. When do we leave?”

“No I haven’t forgotten, I’m counting on the fact they haven’t either and as soon as you’re ready,” it wasn’t like she had her soul to sell them, but she would within tightly negotiated reason offer her services in exchange for the information she was seeking. “You’re mad at me I can tell.”

The Wolverine laughed, “well here I was thinkin’ we were friends or somethin’ considerin’ how many times I’ve saved your ass over the years, but usually friends tell eachother when they ain’t dead anymore.” Something smelled different about her too, but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. She was alive, but the stench of death was there, lingering just beneath her natural scent.

“I didn’t tell anyone, don’t take it personal. I was trying to figure things out,” and she still was, but at least now she had some semblance of structure to lean on.

“We ain’t even inside the city yet,” the short, gruff man huffed, “since when did a welcomin’ committee become a thing?” He eyed the young woman, sharp blue eyes narrowing as his nostrils flared, “you don’t look or smell familiar, what’s your name, girlie?”

It was supposed to be somewhat simple. Step One, get to Madripoor. Step two, head for the Princess Bar and step three, wait. It wouldn’t take long, but clearly step two and three were about to be irrelevant.

“Huh, news really does travel fast and you are definitely not The Hand,” she was a part of something though the Widow easily surmised.

#widow responses #myuuzupunk: hermine #saving private germaine #SHIELD 2.0 verse #mcuverse

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inquisitive-mess · 3 years

Text

Kin to A Beast with A Human Heart

Featuring Will Parr and mention of Juan Trastámara by @weirdbutdecentart100

Monster AU created by @spooner7308

T/W: Hints of Past Abuse and Imply Self-Harm

It was a clear starry night at a park on outskirts of London. A young man was walking through carrying two plastic bags with him on each hand. This has been his daily routine for the last two week when he get off of work. Will had a lot things in his mind due to recent events that happen to him and trying to handle it as anyone in this kind of situation as best as they can. He soon arrived at the bench he been sitting at in those weeks, which was well lit due to the street lantern shining from above and large bush behind it. Normally this isn't great idea for anyone who was outside all alone this late at night to sit somewhere that was easy for anything to happen, but he already knew there wasn't anything worse then what he had been dealing with.

Will place the bags on the bench, unpack one of them, pull out well packed item in paper, and place it at the edge of the bench. He then sat down little further from the package, place other bag on his lap to unpack it, and pull out a bottle drink and a wrapped sandwich. He place his drink next to him, took the wrapper off the sandwich, and start eating it. He take in the silence surrounding him to clear his mind and recollect his thoughts. Of course that ended when he heard little ruckus from the bush behind him which cause him to stop briefly. He already knew the cause of it and seeing that the package was gone when he only moving his head slightly confirmed it. It was Ann, his younger recent new manticore sister.

Will didn't know what going on or how it was happen, but all he know was after seeing Juan as a gargoyle, he try calling Ann to see if she was okay. After multiple attempts of no response, he went to her home and work to see she was there with no luck. He spent two days looking for her all over the city and found no clue on where she was. He started to think the worst may have happen and have lost her forever. This is when he decided to sit on large rock in local small park and look up at the sky trying to clear his mind. He soon saw a large figures flying over him from a distance and him being curious on what it was decided to follow hoping it would lead him to some answers. He follow figure until he end up in a open field far from the city where he lost it. He look around to see if he can find it, but he saw nothing until he heard something close by. He slowly walk to the source and saw what it was.

A large feline creature laying on the grass with their eyes closed and ears listening to sound surrounding it. This of course scared him and he started to step back quietly, so he doesn't alarm it. As he was withdrawing, he accidentally tripped on a raised tree root from a nearby stump, which cause him to fall and made a sound. This alert the creature as Will watch it got up on their feet, turn toward him revealing their piercing green eyes, and was walking to him. Will was freaking out and try to get up, but his ankle stung a bit. When the creature got close to Will, it open their mouth showing him it fangs and Will knew it was over for him. He closed his eyes and wait for the attack to end his life, but it didn't come. He heard a sad moan, which cause him open his eyes, saw the creature had stop near him, was in tears, and shivering. He was confused by this and didn't know what was going on until he noticed it was scared. Out of instinct, he raised one of his arms and try to pet it, but it took a step back when his arm got close to it and tense up even more. Will then took a good look the creature and realized that this was Ann.

After learning this, Will try talking to her, but she didn't reply back. He soon discovered that she can't talk anymore after asking some yes and no questions. He even asked what cause it, but Ann looked down to the ground while she shake a bit and Will learn that this may a sensitive subject to her, so he didn't push it further. Since then he try to get use to Ann new form, but was having some differences. He know she still the same person and hasn't done anything to change that, but he can't get over the fact that she was this dangerous being and could attack or kill him. He witness how she ate her food first time he brought her some, which he though it was cute at first when she got in a certain position and was pretending to stalk it before the horror came when he saw her attack it and shallow it whole leaving nothing behind. He almost dealt with a random needle hitting him when he accidentally surprised her. Luckily, Ann was able to use her tail to move him before the needle touch him. Ann felt bad after this incident and Will learn why Ann was always hesitate whenever he gets to pet her. Will took these things into consideration and thought he was able to overcome this, until a few days ago where Ann stop showing herself and stay hidden in the bush throughout the visits. He didn't know why she was doing this and it was bothering him. He want this to stop and would like to know what's on Ann mind, so he can finally understand her and be a good brother to her. Will plan to talk to Ann to tell her how he feels and maybe learn the reason behind her evasion.

What Will didn't know is that Ann had been able sense his emotion ever since their first meeting. She knows whenever he felt stressed, scared, worried, and happy. She can tell Will was trying accepting this and understanding it, but Ann know what Will really want and she can't do that. As soon she ate her first meal with Will and saw the look of horror on his eyes, she knew the truth. She then try to be careful around him, so she gives him time to get use to it, but after the needle incident, she knew how impossible it would be. This is why she start to be distant with Will. She doesn't want him to worry about her, become a burden to him, and be force accepting this. She also knows that Will on the verge of fearing her and would leave her completely. All would it take is for him see Ann do something that would endanger his life or him to realize that Ann isn't there anymore. What doesn't help either is that she have this whisper that keeps on telling her on how Will fear her, how she was this horrible person, and how Will would be glad to leave her.

Will finish his sandwich and took a sip of his drink. He knew it was time for him to talk to Ann, so he got up, threw his trash away, walk around the bench to the large bush Ann was hiding, and said calmly " Ann, can you come out of there please? We need to talk." After few minutes pass by, Ann emerge from the bush with a light gray sleeveless sweatshirt and stand in front of Will. Ann's eyes were not looking at Will and she was shaking a little. She had a feeling that today was the day Will is going to tell her that he doesn't want nothing do with her and abandon her, like what she fear would happen. Will notice Ann wasn't looking at him and ask her " Please Ann, this is very important what I'm going to tell you." Ann moved her eyes to look at Will, which made her more nervous because she wasn't ready for this. The whisper soon begin, " Looks like he done dealing with you. Maybe if you were normal and not this horrible person, maybe he won't throw you away." Ann try to ignore it, but knew they were speaking the truth. Will clear his throat and try to overcome his nerves on talking to Ann. Ann sense Will currently mood, which proved that this was it. It's going to happen. " Times up for you. Say goodbye to first people who care for you. You nuisance." The whisper was telling her, which started to affect her now and trembling badly. Will finally said " Ann, there something I have to..." This is when he saw Ann stressing out and went up to her. Will place his hand on her shoulder and ask " What's wrong Ann? Are you okay?" Ann wasn't able to hear Will due the whisper drowning his words " I guess I was right. You truly are worthless piece of....." Before whisper could finish, Ann yell "Shut up" not realizing that she said it out loud, which resulted her letting out a mighty roar.

This scary the crap out Will, which cause him to withdraw his hand from Ann and made him falling onto ground landing on his butt. Once Ann got done yelling, she closed her mouth and didn't hear the whisper anymore. She was relieved about it, until she sense uneasy emotion coming from Will that cause her to look at him and her heart sank. What she saw wasn't her brother, but a frightened person who had fear in their eyes. Someone who fear for their life and saw her as not a person, but a monster. After seeing this, Ann turn away from Will and knew what she had do. She need to stay away from Will to free him from this burden and lock herself somewhere she can't scare or hurt anyone anymore. She looked at Will one last time with sadness before running away from him, spread her wings out, and flew away from the area.

Will only can watch as she saw his sister with regret and sadness in her eyes before flying away to the unknown. After he recovered from shock, he tighten one of his fist and slam it to the ground. This wasn't part of the plan and he was beating himself for it. He hate how he just stand there like an idiot for letting Ann run away knowing something was wrong with her and didn't mean to roar at him. He need to find her and help her with she is dealing with like how big brother suppose to do. He failed her once in his life and doesn't want to lose her again, so he got up from the ground, head to where she ran, and start looking for her. He didn't know where she would be, but he had a feel that she would head somewhere she feels safe.

Ann soon land in the backyard of her house. She was lucky that she bought a house a little away from the city and had large yard. It would be hard to explain that a manticore was roaming around the area. She head to her house and went through the custom window she had build for herself that led into the basement. Once she was inside her basement, her eyes adjusted to darkness and walk up the stair that leads into the sitting room with a lot in her mind. She blame herself for what happen and ruin the relationship she had with her brother. She walk past boxes and stacks of books on the table she though would help her ease Will, but looks it will go to vein. She then head up another flight of stairs and went to her room to hide. Her room was bare as it could be. It only had a bed, bedside table, chest of drawers, and a bookcase. She wasn't the kind person who had a lot of stuff due to past experiences on how she was raised in current time. She walk up to her bedside table and look at the picture frame that was on it. It was a picture of her and Will at her graduation. This was one of the best days and one of the happiest memories she had. She soon started crying as she stare at it because it hurts her so bad knowing nothing changed. She thought her life was going to get better and be able to enjoy her new life, but her past mistakes mess things up for her and transform her to who she truly was.

The whisper soon returned " You know this was bound to happen. Once he saw how horrible of a person you are, he was going to abandon and hate you. Just like others had and matter of time until you be all alone again and be forgotten. Like you supposed to be." Ann didn't even fight it and let it sink in, because it was the truth. The whisper continues " And what makes it worse is that you play Will along making him think he still has his little sister, but the fact is she's gone and only the monster exist. They don't call manticore 'man-eaters' for nothing. I won't got past you if had thoughts on eating him, since that's what they do. Lie and kill people." Ann blood ran cold when she heard this and questioned herself. Would she done that? Would she go that far to kill and eat Will like he was another meal to her? Is she that horrible of a person? All this thoughts were hurting her deeply that it cause her to bump the table as she turn around knocking the picture frame off the table on to the ground and crack the glass on it. Once she realized what happen and done, she head to nearby corner, sat down on the ground, curled herself up as she closed her eyes, and let herself get swallow in her own sorrow and pain of being alone again.

Will soon arrive he thinks Ann would be at, since he knows there wasn't many places she would go to. He walk up to the door to her house and knock on it hoping she would answer. When she didn't, he sigh and should of known better she wouldn't answer. It wasn't going to be that easy. He decide to walk around her house and hope he can find a way to get inside. He discovered a little large window close to the ground that was slightly open and went to it. After some close inspection on the window it, he concluded that this must be how Ann gets in and out of the house and proved that she was here. He decide to go through it, so he open the door to the window and slide inside as he held it. Once inside, he turn on his light on his phone, saw he was at the basement, and head up the stair to the sitting room to see if Ann was there. He looked around and didn't see her, but something caught his eyes on the table. He walk to the it, pick up the books on it, and notice some of the titles on it. Like 'Mythical and Fantasy Creatures' with bookmark on manticore, 'Human Behavior', and 'Animal Anatomy'. He was confused by these books, put them back on the table, and head to another room. As he walk in each room using light on his phone, he notices boxes with a weird cloth that cover something, sharp metal tools, and some rope, saw broken metal pieces on the floor in the dining room, and scratches and dents on the walls in a hallway. This made him wonder what Ann was doing and what's really going on here.

He soon found the other flight of stairs and walk up it knowing that there wasn't many places left to check. As he walking on the top level of the house, he heard a faint noise coming from a certain room coming up and head to it with caution. He soon got to the room, slowly open the door, walk inside it, and used his light look around. He notice how little stuff was in this room and made him remember how Ann used to be when they first met. He always want to ask Ann about her time here with her new life, but decide to wait until she was ready to tell him about it. He only knew what he saw and heard from the former owner of the shop that Ann owns now, which was little. He soon saw a frame on the floor, which Will walk to, pick it up, and saw it was cracked a little, but still could see the picture of him and Ann. This made him smile a little when he saw this because it made him glad that he was there for her. He then place it back on the table facing up and was ready look around more when he heard a familiar moan nearby that cause him to turn to the noise and found the person he was looking for in a corner all curled up, looking sad, and using her wings and tail to cover her body.

This hurt Will when he saw Ann like this because she look like one of those cage animals who looks so helpless and accepted their fate. He though to himself as he walking to her " Ann...." He slowly try to comfort her by putting his hand on her, but Ann's ears moved when she heard Will approaching and needles spout out all over her, which he avoid touching by pulling back in time. Ann's needles soon retract back into her body, steadily open one of her eyes to see who was here, and saw it was Will. If Ann was in the right state in mind, she would have been trilled to see Will, since it would show her that he did care for her. But as it stands now, this only Ann feel worse knowing that she only endanger Will the longer she interacts with him. Ann moved her eyes to look at the ground and thought to herself " Please leave, Will. You don't deserve to get more hurt than you already have. I don't want to continue burdening you." Will notice Ann looking at him before turning her eyes to the ground and could see the grief she was. This was killing him, since he couldn't understand Ann and didn't know what was going on. He though to himself "If only there was a way to cheer her up a little, so I can learn what is going on with her." Then he had idea what he can do and got started on it.

He headed out the room, which Ann heard and though he finally left, until he came back a few minutes later. He sat down in good distance across from her as he crossed his legs, place Vincent on his lap, scrolled through something on his phone, until he found it, and tap on it. Ann's ears perk up when heard this and made her cry a little in a good way. This was a song from the musical Will took her on the night of her graduation, which was a surprised for her and was her first musical. Will saw Ann's reaction and they both continue to listen to it. After the song was done, Will turn his phone off and started talking " Do you want know something, Ann? I wasn't interested on going to see that show, but after seeing you at the shop and how you looked so defeated, I knew I had to do something. I know how it feels to be so alone, especially when we got reincarnated to a new time and how life can beat you up time to time." He looked at Ann and told her " I may not know what happen to you during your time here up to our meeting and why you transform into what you are now, but I'm sorry that I haven't been a good brother to you. I know in the past, we weren't really in good term per say, but when I met you again in the current time, I knew this was my chance to do that. I though I was doing a good job, since I already know what you been through in the past. But when I saw you in your new form, I though I failed you due to how scare you were when I saw you. " Will took a deep breath, pick up Vincent to place him little closer to Ann, and continue "I been trying best to accept this, which has been a little hard to tell you the truth. At first, I couldn't look pass the being you become due to how easy for you to kill something and threatening you got thanks to additional feature you gained, which scared me a bit. But overtime, it became more easier to do, since I know you were same person despite all that. I felt like I was able to do this, then you started to put some distance between us and I didn't know why, which made me think I did something wrong, like not accepting you soon or did something to hate me. That what I want to ask you when we were at the park. I would like to know if it was something I do to fix this and a way for me to do that."

Once Will was done talking, Ann took in everything he had said and felt what he was feeling. This hurt her knowing that he blame himself for being a bad brother and thinking it was his fault why she been acting like this. Ann need to tell him the truth, so he knows what was really going on. So she got up on her feet, grab Vincent by her mouth, and carry him as she walk out of the room to head to another room. Will got curious on what she was doing, so he got up and follow her after her. When he got the room where Ann was, she already had keyboard in front her, Vincent right beside her, and monitor behind her on the computer desk turn on. Will look confuse by this and wondering what Ann planning, until he saw her move tail and begin typing with it on the keyboard, which cause him to look at the monitor and saw the words appearing on the screen. This surprise him because he didn't think he would finally have a way to communicate with her and how creative she was to figure this out. He focus back to the screen and begin reading what she wrote.

" Will, I don't blame you for anything. You did nothing wrong and been a great big brother to me. You did a lot for me and I appreciate for all you done." Will smiled a bit as he read this and Ann continue " You been patience with me and help me out in ways you can't imagine. I wish I was a good sibling to you like you been for me and be able to pay you back for it, but I know that not going to happen.." Ann tighten her paws a little and wrote " Thanks to what I have become revealing who I truly am and how I cause nothing, but pain and trouble to people." Will was shock when he saw this and didn't know why Ann though this. Ann started to shake a little and resume " I been able to sense your feeling ever since our first meeting due to new instincts I developed, so I could tell what mood you were in. I knew how scare and angry you were when you first saw me, what you felt when we had our first meal together, when my needle almost hit you, and the fear you had when I roar at you." Ann look at Will in the eyes with sadness and typed " I'm so sorry Will. I'm sorry that transform to this creature and not your human sister anymore. I try really hard to act normal around you to give you time to get use to my new form, because I knew you were scared of me and I know that what you wanted. That why I try to teach myself eat with utensil again, but I kept on breaking them by biting them off or in half with my paws. Then I try walking on two legs, but I fell every time and hurt myself doing so. I even try read books to help me out, but that didn't work either. I also wanted you to be more safe around me and was ready to do something for that." Ann start to tear up and went on writing " After the needle incident, I knew I what had to do, so that when I started to be distance with you. I didn't want to burden you anymore or think you have to accept this because we're family. I wanted you to enjoy your new life and fulfill your dream on being a songwriter, like you plan to be and told me. What happen earlier proved to me what you truly want and how I won't ever be that sister you see. Just a monster in your eyes" When she was done, she push the keyboard away from her showing she finish talking, look down, grab Vincent with her paw closer to her hugging it on her side, and wait for Will see the truth, so he can leave her. Like she knew would happen.

Will just stand there reading this and couldn't believe what he had just read. Is this how Ann saw things every time they were together? What she though he wanted due to it? How she thinks he saw her as nothing, but this ferocious monster? This hurt him deeply knowing Ann felt like this way and what she was going through just for him. What made him curious on what she meant by wanted to be more safer around him, until he remember the boxes with stuff inside them. He list the items in them in his head and wonder how would that help. Then he though about the books and how one was about manticore and the other about anatomy. After some thinking, he finally realize what she meant and it horrified him completely. In fact, it downright killing him inside finding out how far she was willing to go just to satisfy him and making sure she doesn't hurt him anymore. His hands started to shaking thinking about it and he rush to her.

He grab one of her shoulder, which result her freaking out, having a needle shooting out of her, and him getting hit by it directly, but he didn't care about that. He look at her dead in the eye and told her in serious tone " Listen to me very well, Ann. I don't blame you for what happen and how you turn into what you are now. I would still care for you and love you no matter what. I don't want you to ever think that I would wanted you to harm yourself just make me happy. It's true that there were times I wish things were back to what it use to be, but I rather deal with a large cat who scare me a little than losing you again." He started to feel the numbness running through this body and spoke some more " I'm sorry that I haven't been telling you personally how I feel, rather you guessing what they were. I don't see you as a monster at all, nor I will never will. As I say earlier, I already know you're the same person and the fact that you care so much about my safely and willing to push yourself to the point where you hurt yourself proved that you are still that same person I remember and love to call my sister." The numbness soon took over his body, knock him out, and begin to fall to the ground, but Ann was able to catch him with his paws and gently place him on the ground. Ann smile in her head and though to herself when she heard what had said "Thank you, Will. I need to hear that" Ann took the needle out of Will, which she got rid of, lay down near Will as she rest her head on her paws and begin humming a familiar tune as she wait for paralysis to wear out. She was very glad to have someone like him here to help her with her thoughts and very proud to call him brother.

What Ann didn't know was that as Will was knock out, he was able heard Ann's humming and it reach into his dream, which cause it become something light and heartwarming. His dream involved him and Ann in her manticore form on a open field, where he was comforting her by petting her to make her feel relaxed. He plan to do this once he wakes up, so she would feel better about herself and to show her how much he is happy to have a sister like her, despite being human or not, which didn't bother him one bit. Not any more.

#six the musical #sixtended verse #six monster au #monster au #Ann Parr #Manticore!Ann #manticore #Monster!Ann #Will Parr

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hasliaran · 3 years

Text

Undertale is owned by Toby Fox

Sooner or Later You’re Gonna be Mine is written by Staringback.

TimeHealsTale - Still a WIP by me.

Meet my undertale OC from TimeHealsTale which is an AU living rent free in my head. They are a canon MC that replaces the real Sans (age 5) after he got dumped into a tub of Void by Gaster to be forgotten.

Name: Comic Sans Du Font (Comic/Komi)

Age: 22 (5 years younger than canon Sans and 8 years older than Paps)

Job: Monster Healer that does House-calls. (Not a Judge; Sans disappeared because he was a Judge)

Profile in Game: Toriel’s Contact, The Smuggler, Summon Healer (after befriending; limited to 5 calls (diff. work phone no.); rapid calls will assume it’s a prank and not be picked up for a certain period of time.)

This is not her usual outfit but I just really wanted to post it.

In my head, the scene goes …

- she fell into the void trying to pull out a deformed still 5 years old Sans when she was going through her father’s stuff in his lab dungeon. (Occurred after the barrier broke)

- Sans was in a mega huge test tube floating in pitch black Void essence (frozen in stasis as no time passes through Void), so she couldn’t see anything or knew he was inside. Only after she accidentally tipped it over, smashing it to pieces, when trying to push it out of the lab that she realised there was an effing toddler inside it.

“Dad, seriously?” Comic got fed up already with the mess her father left behind after he got scattered.

- Cue her trying to grab the kid out of the muck only to fall in and be dropped down into another universe with the little one.

(Yes, this is the multiverse travel scene excuse and I love it)

Back then, Sooner or later your gonna be mine just uploaded a new comic chapter on YouTube. Hence, my brain went overdrive and said it’s a free real estate. So, I imagined the duo getting found by the skeleton brothers before the story started from rumours of them pillaging around trash sites, random food thefts and small skeletons offering up to do odd jobs.

Other skeletons than them, huh, curious.

Them skeletons in that story was already huge as heck though, now imagine a five a year old and a roughly five foot skeleton with a slight build running around what was essentially a mob era in the 1920’s.

The first thing that would go through their thick skulls was KIDS, THEY ARE KIDS, WHO HERE F***ED AND DIDN’T USE PROTECTION ?!

So much shenanigans from just trying to chase them down. ^_^

In the end, Komi and Void/V (little Sans; Komi’s not that creative at naming) were lured in by food, an offer for a roof over their heads and warm baths. Yep, tragic.

Little sans doesn’t look like a sans anymore here but a mere smooth skull shell with two big eye sockets and nothing else. I meant that literally. No lips or teeth as those were melted away and a pitch black body with stumps for legs. (look at Hollow Knight; Ghost but without the horns and has smoothen out round cheeks at least. I love that game.)

The last thing he remembered was that his aunt (step sister actually but he knows her as auntie) giving birth in the Underground Hospital and his uncle (Gaster) pushing him into a tub of black liquid, watching him drown.

And now he can’t talk since his lips is sealed shut.

Moreover, someone with his name who looks like a lot like his auntie and a bit like his uncle was dragging him around somewhere. It’s hella weird and confusing and he can’t cry properly. (Yes, HK reference here)

Yes, there is a story here for the duo that will coincide with SoLY’reGBM. Mostly, with Komi claiming Bara Sans courting skills were lame as hell no wonder Frisk ran screaming. This happen only at the time they were all comfortable enough to diss each other. Still, she and V were treated like sassy annoying younger siblings.

One’s assumed to be a teenager another a preschooler. So both were admitted to schools by force and with threats for Komi by Gaster since he didn’t want them in the house 24/7. Also to just enjoy the fact they have money now to send someone in their place to experience school. Papyrus here loves it that someone gets to experience and tell him all about while also not being the youngest in the family anymore.

Komi, in hindsight was 50/50 about it. Hating the idea at first before going, huh, maybe it’s not so bad… Hence the outfit up there. ^

She only has been to pre-school when her mother was alive and nothing else since, Gaster, her father, deeming it useless and only had been homeschooled by him. As much as you could call being locked in a room and told to read/answer these sheets of questions or not she’s never allowed to feed Papyrus as homeschooling activities. It happened in a period of when she was 10 - 14, so Paps would be 2 - 6. Damn well, she learned to memorise and spit everything out like a photocopier.

Seeing the Gaster in this universe sorta freaks her out. Making her wait to be ordered and when she doesn’t gets the order or the orders were just a pat on the skull and be told to behave, nothing else. She will proceed to look at him funny only to realise that oh, this is not dad. The three brothers can see that gal there has been through some shit and it’s not the fun kind. This also makes them question whether they should let them go back to wherever they came from, and that’s a whole other bag of fish to fry.

Komi knows they are a mob family, accepts it because hey her dad had a dungeon where he cuts up humans and eats SOULs for breakfast so why not this?

Only to find out they are pretty nice for a family and was this what a family suppose to be like? She liked it.

Komi with V/Void -, I will protect you my new baby brother that I have adopted at first sight with my body and SOUL. Which she does, she was raised with her Papyrus who was always aimed at gunpoint by her father. Basically, a rinse and repeat cycle situation in her eyes. Only to find out that no, nobody was out to get V!

She felt so gosh darn free in this universe but felt as though she was missing something all the time.

Yep, her found family from back home. So, definitely gotta get out of here somehow.

While also going to high school and befriending your adopted uncles’s enemy’s niece. Fuku Fire. Definitely not telling them what she did. They are gonna get so pissed.

Fuku - I have befriended the cool kid that’s not afraid to talk back against adults and was already a pro in home economics, who is also a skeleton Monster, meaning from a rival family. My parents and Uncle *pedo* Grillby must never know.

Comic will also be going through the motions of life here while figuring out how V’s powers work to send them back home and be getting a supply of Uncle’s favourite mustard since he’s been bitching about it every day by now.

He and Gaster will most definitely never know.

Nah, they know. Comic is a freaking blabber mouth that tells everything to this version of Papyrus just like she does in her own universe. Confirmed, she’ll be outed within 3 days by Paps and a fight about who she befriends was not their business.-at Gaster - who then sees it as an opportunity. Which leaves her storming out yelling they are all the same. Gaster and her Gaster.

Shit goes down that day, and everything went A-okay. Komi would make attempts to not overlap her father’s image over this guy because really, this Gaster is the farthest thing to her dad that’s a centuries old psychopath craving the secrets of the multiverse who would instead have not let her run out the house unscathed for yelling nor talked through things with her when she was brought back.

Darn guy was pretty nice.

Sans and Papyrus of this universe : who are you and what have you done to our brother?

G: What was that?

S&P: Nothing. S: (mutters under his breath) bias piece of sh*t

Then there’s that scene where they now got a new area to govern. Komi and V finds it weird but okay. *shrugs*. It felt like they were going to govern their territory or something. Sounds like basic Royal Guards one-o-one shtick her middle bro’s and friends’ kinda work. Seems simple enough.

It was not simple. I repeat, it was not simple.

G: No, we do not have to patrol the area.

G: No, we do not do shifts to monitor criminal activities.

G: It’s just an area that we will get a claim to.

G: But I need the humans here to be comfortable with Monsters, so I am going to let loose Papyrus on them. Since, we also have you two as well. Feel free to interact with the Humans. Tell me if anyone gives you three any trouble, Sans and I will personally deal with it.

S: wut? Yes? Yep, whatever he says goes. Better listen to your elders, brats.

P: Really, Sans?

C: So-, you want us to help around with the people in the area? Like charity work? Give free food and all that?

G: (how did she jumped to that? but otherwise, she’s not wrong.) … Yes-, that. Feel free to use your green magic on them as well if you have to but only when necessary. I don’t want you to suddenly disappear because your own loose lips.

C: Alright. (Does an excited fist pump) This is gonna be awesome~! …. Heyyy, did you just-

P: And I will be sure to guard them. (No arguing here from the other brothers)

V: (pouts and hand signed) N-O-T—B-A-B-Y

P: (could only stare at this being that barely reaches his kneecaps) Of course, little one.

All I know is, all of them are sassy sarcastic shits and there’s way more to be continued here.

So byeeee~

#timehealstale #undertale #undertale au #fanart #fanfic #fic ideas #sooner or later you’re gonna be mine au idea #do not repost #do not copy #multiverse #dimension travel

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i-will-physically-fight-you · 4 years

Text

Bronze Statue Chapter 2

Chapter Title: Twilight Vows

Summary: In which Virgil receives more questions than he does receive answers.

Pairings: platonic prinixety

Chapter Word-Count: 1.5k

Warnings: cursing, injuries, implied past corporal punishment, death mention, panic attack

Previous | Present | Next AO3 LINK

@lonelyanxiousbean requested to see a continuation of this as part of my Follower Milestone Celebration which you can click here to learn more details about!

When someone bonked their head on a random-ass bronze statue in the middle of the godsforsaken forest while running for their life with stolen goods and said-statue came to life, killed your pursuers and declared you a prince, it’d be only natural for them to assume it was all just a fucking bizarre dream.

Or at least this was what Virgil assumed. In the murky dusk of twilight, he jerked back to consciousness with a sharp inhale. A field. He laid in an empty field, in the tall thickets and wildflower blossoms. No bronze statue in sight.

A dream then. Surely just a dream. Virgil must’ve evaded his pursuers and then promptly collapsed in a panic-induced coma. It seemed like a logical thing for him to do. He sat up, wincing as his head twinged in agony. The head injury was very much real. Perhaps he ran into a tree? Or a boulder? Either one sounded plausible.

It didn’t stop anxiety from stretching across his chest like one big spider web.

He attempted to ignore it in favor of searching for his satchel. Squinting through the dim light, he saw it about a horse-length away next to a large stump. He rose to his feet when he’d forgotten one teensy-weensy detail; his ankle.

It was like stepping on a sharp needle. A needle that happened to be very large and more akin to a spear than of the sewing variety. He screamed because holy fuck it hurt.

“My prince!” The stump moved, its branches hovering over him trepidatiously.

Virgil groaned, blinking back tears to look up to see it was not a talking sentient stump addressing him. Rather, it was a talking sentient bronze statue. A talking statue who was very capable with that sword of his. He skewed through Virgil’s pursuers like they were nothing. What if he did the same thing upon realizing Virgil wasn’t a prince? Maybe it’d be best to play along for now. Yeah he’d do that.

He opened his mouth, breath hitching, “I’m not a prince.”

Nailed it.

The statue’s head reared back a little and Virgil flinched from the motion. The statue just laughed, an unnatural coppery tinny sound to it.

“Oh, you must’ve hit your head harder than I thought,” The statue said, “We should return to the castle posthaste.”

Virgil’s heart pounded. “No!”

“No?” The statue frowned, “Whyever not?”

“No--you can’t make me--I’d rather die than go back.” Virgil shook, the words tumbling of their own volition.

The statue spoke to him, but it was lost to the fog of panic swelling around him. He couldn’t go back. Not when he just escaped those grey oppressive walls. The only thing that awaited him was execution or worse yet, a living punishment of some kind. The king wouldn’t take well to a servant running off with some of his valuables, after all.

The half-faded half-fresh scars on his back flared up. Almost as painful as when he’d received them, if not worse. His head pulsated and his ankle throbbed to the same intensity as those phantom aches. Breathing felt impossible in this state. Short gasps of air that did nothing to bring oxygen to his lungs.

He bared his teeth as he tried to push away the panic. He couldn’t afford this moment of weakness. Not after everything he endured to get here. Not in front of a sentient bronze statue with delusions of grandeur. Who knows, perhaps the statue was really a figment of his imagination.

Because the last thing he needed was a somehow sentient statue proclaiming him royalty. Stealing kingly possessions was one thing, but claiming you had a blood right to the throne? So, so much worse--he’d been a lowly servant, nothing more, nothing less.

A weighted hand rested upon his shoulder. Heavy enough to crush him but it’s touch delicate and light as a feather.

“My prince,” The statue said, his words like a lighthouse shining through a stormy rage of terror. Virgil snuck a glance up at him, struck by the somber expression worn by the statue. “I hope you can accept my most fervent apologies.”

“W-what for?” Virgil asked, almost laughing as a dizzy spell hit him.

“I’ve been in this forest for a long time,” The statue informed him, “I’d almost--well. I’d quite forgotten that an incorrigible cur now dwells in the castle and that the true King and Queen are no more. You must understand I did not mean to cause you undue fright.

“I know you do not know me, but I swore an oath to protect the royal family. I--I failed before. But I will not fail you this time.”

Virgil stared at the statue, wide-eyed and scarcely breathing. He referenced an event that took place a couple decades back. An event that was spoken in only hushed murmurs. One that Virgil only heard and held no memories, for he’d been only a babe when it occurred.

The current ruling King took hold of the throne by force, killing all the previous royal family and anyone devoted to them. Those who were left quickly learned to obey or else face similar fates.

The statue must think he was the son of the previous monarchs. Who’d also been just an infant when the coup happened. An infant, unlike Virgil, that had also suffered the same fate as his parents.

“How can you be sure that I am the prince?” Virgil swallowed, unsure how to tell the statue his beloved prince was dead. That he’d been too late to save him, from the king’s enforcers or the king himself for that matter.

“I know in my heart of hearts, you are. And I will hold no allegiance but to you.” A lightning bug flittered past the statue, lighting the small grin on his face for a brief moment. The statue’s hand slipped from his shoulder, falling to clasp one of Virgil’s hands. He bowed down one knee, head lowered to the ground.

“I, Sir Roman of Redwood, Knight of the Realm, pledge my unbounding fealty to your royal highness, my prince and rightful heir to the throne of Xiety.”

Virgil couldn’t breathe, his heart had leapt into his throat and now he was choking on it. At dawn, he’d been a cowardly servant. At midday, he’d been a terrified thief on the run. At twilight, he’d been declared a prince and sworn loyalty by a sentient bronze statue. It really was all too much for both his heart and soul to process.

He knew he was the first two things. He’d been in the King’s servitude since almost birth and he had indeed stolen possessions of the King. But a prince? No, no, no. He was the furthest thing from a prince. His hysteria at the mere mention of going to the castle should’ve clued the statue--or Roman he supposed--of this fact right then and there.

But instead, Roman seemed insistent he was a prince. Not of any of Virgil’s doing, but because he was a hopelessly naive moron. He was fooling himself into thinking Virgil was the prince. No doubt so that he reprove himself in his own eyes once more.

Despite all of this, Virgil couldn’t find it within himself to deny him that. He was exhausted, injured and famished. He hadn’t eaten in two days aside from a few breadcrumbs he had to fight off a rat for. He was likely to die in the forest without Roman.

“I, Virgil of Farraway,” He faltered, swerving away from proclaiming himself royalty, “accept your fealty for as long as you see fit to aid me.”

“I shall serve you for long as I am able to, your royal highness.” The knightly statue said, pressing his metallic lips against Virgil’s hand for a brief kiss.

“Please,” The not-prince said, averting his gaze, “just call me Virgil.”

“Of course, your hig--Virgil, if that is what you wish.” Roman said, dipping his head in reverence.

This shocked Virgil. He thought perhaps Roman would be more pushy on that. Did he readily adhere to his request because of the oath he took? Did that mean he’d do whatever Virgil demanded of him?

Of course, he’d known what fealty entailed. He saw an enforcer swear fealty to the King once. He witnessed the enforcers carry out the King’s orders countless times. But being confided with unearned trust and loyalty like this? Guilt already began twisting his intestines into knots.

If Roman took notice of this internal turmoil, he did not say anything. Instead, he stood up, surveying the field. “It is late, and you must be tired. I will take watch and make sure nothing will harm you in your slumber.”

“What about you?” Virgil asked, “do you...do you need rest as well?”

“You need not worry about me!” Roman laughed, loud and boisterous, “In this ghastly form I do not sleep. I will be fine.”

“Okay.” Virgil whispered, lying in the soft grass once more. Roman stood a few paces away from him, a hand resting on his hilt. So still, like a statue. That almost emitted a weak laugh from Virgil.

For what his appearance suggested, Roman did not seem to possess a silent countenance. From his bright booming voice to the way his hands painted a tapestry to accompany it. The comment about “this ghastly form” nearly confirmed he had not always been a bronze statue.

But then if that was the case, just how did Roman end up becoming one?

#thomas sanders #sander sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #platonic prinixety #kat writes

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jkstompers · 4 years

Text

don’t go | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

summary: you and jungkook were simply roommates, nothing more than that. no matter how much you wanted to get to know him, jungkook always left before you were able to get any deeper than two weeks into his past.

word count: 3.3K

genre: roommates, established friendship, hidden feelings, angst, slight fluff

warnings: none! :) (except maybe some typos...ignore that...haha...)

author’s note: yes hi hello! i’m so sorry i haven’t posted in so long AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS FIC THE DAY AFTER VALENTINES UGH!! I’M SLACKING, I’M SORRY!! i’ve been writing but i don’t have the motivation to finish and ugh it’s a mess in my brain right now. this fic i was able to finish though! hopefully u enjoy it ♡(ŐωŐ人) please let me know what u think! sorry again for being so inactive T口T.

side note: this is how i imagined jungkook in this fic! his pink sweater and long hair (╯°▽°)╯ ┻━┻ .crying.

also banner picture cred: here <3

“welcome home roomie! how was your month long vacation from me this time?” you greet jungkook when he walks into the kitchen for breakfast. he just came back last night from one of his month long rendezvous that occur way too often in your opinion. jungkook would disappear and reappear every other week or so. he never told you where he went and you never really found yourself dedicated enough to find out.

“fun,” he answers flatly, “and to be specific, it was only two weeks.” he clarifies the time he spent away, sitting down at the island and surveying the food you laid out. you outdid yourself this morning, an array of different breakfast foods. “you made all of this?”

you nod, “they were about to go bad, so you better finish all of it.”

he sends you a half smile, teetering on a smirk as he takes the plate you hand him. “you doing anything today?” he asks. his fork stabs through two pancakes and moves them to his plate, shoveling bacon and eggs onto there as well.

“on this fine sunday? sadly, no, just some homework i need to finish.” you sigh, taking a sip from your glass of water. your seat is to the right of jungkook, at the head of the island. it’s now that you really take your time to look at him. his morning look in all it’s glory. a face swollen and hair messy in the cutest way. it wasn’t fair that he was attractive during times when you’re supposed to look unattractive. his hair has grown a little longer since you last saw him, the ends of his hair touching the apples of his cheeks now. speaking of his cheeks, he stuffs them full of food and chews, his eyes wandering around the apartment until he makes contact with yours. catching you staring.

he swallows, bringing his glass of water to his lips before speaking again, “my face that interesting to you?” the question comes with a piece of pancake on his fork, offering it to you.

like a reflex, you open your mouth to accept the pancake. but you scrunch your nose at the remark he made, “you look different.”

the statement is meant to be innocent, speaking of the way his hair is a little longer and how you notice a new tattoo gracing his arm. but jungkook seems to take it a little deeper, your words ringing in his head. different? does that mean you look at him different? is he prettier now? uglier? what do you mean by that?

“do you want to go grocery shopping later?” he asks. hoping you didn’t notice the long pause he took to overthink.

“sure,” you shrugged. a small bubble of excitement forming in your stomach. “we’re out of ice cream anyway.” you try to carry a nonchalant reaction when nods.

when the two of you finished filling your bellies, jungkook helped you wash the dishes and clean everything up. the feeling of having him around makes you feel at ease. you wish it was like this more often. for the past two years jungkook had been your roommate, he paid his dues, cleaned his messes, and kept you company from time to time. when he wasn’t there (which was ⅔ of the time) it didn’t feel right. it would feel colder in the apartment, even if the heater was turned up. just...empty. sometimes you wished his socks or hoodies were left lying around the apartment for you to pick up and bicker with him about. rather, he cleaned every spot, no laundry to pick up, no spills to wipe, nothing. leaving no signs that he lived here at all.

“nap for a little bit and then we’ll go?” jungkook asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. you nod, telling him to wake you up when it was time to go.

you felt a warm hand on your shoulder, gently shaking you awake. your eyes open to see jungkook in front of you, pink sweater and black hair, contrasting perfectly in the sun that’s shining through your window. “let’s go now,” he says.

you nod, getting up from your bed and stretching as you walk over to your closet, grabbing a sweater to wear. jungkook offers to drive, you sit in the passenger seat, mind focused on what you had to buy for the house. you make it to the store and grab a cart, jungkook following behind you, “do you need anything?” you ask.

“some shampoo and conditioner,” he answers. you nod, moving to the bath section and waiting as jungkook chooses his items. the rest of the trip consists of you and jungkook asking each other if you needed said thing for the apartment. “we have to get more blankets,” he declares as you pass the home goods section, grabbing a fluffy blanket.

you scold him, “we have too many blankets, put it back.” he presses his lips into a tight line, showing his dissatisfaction. you both continue to walk around a little longer, moving to the food section. “see, this is what we need!” you pull out the cookie dough tub.

“dough?” he snorts, taking a look at the bucket as you hold it.

“it’s ready to eat cookie dough! no salmonella for us!” you smile, dropping it into your cart. jungkook doesn’t say anything after that, you knew he wanted the cookie dough too, you were just taking one for the team.

walking a little further into the food section, jungkook taps your shoulder, pointing to the other side of the freezers. “ice cream?”

“oh, yeah,” you nod, pushing the cart that way. you pull the vanilla ice cream out and place it in the cart, jungkook furrows his eyebrows.

“vanilla? out of all the flavors here? really?” he stares at you, a serious look on his face. you can’t help but start laughing, his face breaks, a small smile appearing on his face but he tries to get back to a serious expression.

“it’s good! and you can eat it with the cookie dough,” you reason. jungkook rolls his eyes, you always seem to find a way to stump him, he can never argue with you for too long, you’re just too good of a talker. he takes out a mint chocolate tub from the freezer. you don’t say anything but your face scrunches, visibly disapproving.

“don’t start, i will argue for mint chocolate until the store closes.” he warns. you decide to stay quiet, a smile cemented on your face as you make it to check out. the rest of the trip goes smoothly from there, picking up some food on the way home and then making it back to the apartment.

the two of you decide to do some things on your own when you got home. jungkook had to clean his room and do some laundry while you had to finish your homework. a period of comfortable silence fills the apartment, unlike the cold silence that you were terribly used to. you couldn’t have felt any more content than how you feel now.

a few hours pass before jungkook finishes his chores, you were finished with your work and were now scheduling your next week. he peeks his head into your room, coughing to get your attention. your head turns at the sound, “movie?” he suggests.

you smile, standing from your desk. the two of you travel to the couch and plop down on the seats, your hand reaching out to the coffee table for the remote. “which one?” you ask, turning the tv on and clicking random buttons that bring you to netflix.

“that blue one, with the blonde.” he points as you scroll through the selections.

“mamma mia?” you snort.

“looks interesting,” he shrugs. unfolding the blanket and splaying it over the both of you. the first fifteen minutes of the movie plays before both you and jungkook start getting hungry. a rock, paper, scissors game ensues to figure out who’s gonna get up to get the snacks. you lose, 2 to 1.

you grumble, pulling the warm blanket off of you and moving to the kitchen. taking a bag of chips out, some candy that you had in the pantry, and then the tub of ready to eat cookie dough out of the fridge. the weight of it proving you to be one of the weakest human beings. the tub practically slams onto the counter. the lid once again proving that your strength was not that of thor’s. “jungkook!” you shout from the kitchen.

“what?” he yells back.

you try once more to pry the lid open, but to no avail. so you shout once again, “help me open the cookie dough!”

you hear jungkook groan, but nevertheless he comes into the kitchen, his face silently asking what you need him to do. you show him that the lid is basically stuck and he takes it from you, trying to take the top off but he seems to struggle as well. “here, you hold and i pull,” he suggests, holding onto the lid as you hold onto the bucket part. something told you this wasn’t going to work, maybe you should have left it out to thaw first before you tried to open it.

if someone were to walk in, the two of you would look ridiculous, but the cookie dough gives after a minute or so of pulling. the effort makes both you and jungkook stumble onto the kitchen floor. both of your laughs overlapping each other. you hold the cookie dough, “let’s stay here first, i’m tired.” your breathing is exaggerated to add effect.

he grins, moving to grab two spoons before sitting down next to you, against the cabinets on the floor. he sticks the two spoons into the cookie dough, the two of you start digging in. “you know what would be perfect with this right now?” jungkook sits up, standing again and moving to the freezer. you raise an eyebrow, wondering what he’s got in mind. “your vanilla ice cream,” he pulls the tub out.

“and to think you were making fun of me in the store for it,” you narrow your eyes, taking the ice cream from him. jungkook stands above you, smiling at the way you remain on the ground instead of going back to the couch in the living room. nevertheless, he joins you with his spoon in hand.

he watches as you scoop from the container, over exaggerating a shiver when you put it in your mouth. “cold?” he asks, but you shake your head. he looks over to your arm, your goosebumps raising. “liar,” he snorts, taking off his hoodie and handing it to you.

you give him a puzzled look, “i can just get my own—”

“just take it,” he cuts you off, throwing the jacket into your arms. secretly, you smile to yourself, throwing the hoodie over your head and sliding it on. it smells just like him, an overbearing scent that you’ve found comforting these days. a sudden warmth rushes over you.

the sound of the tv is in the background of your conversation, but you only pay attention to jungkook, the man who’s digging into your vanilla ice cream and feeding it to you. “you like feeding your roommates or something?” you mumble as you eat the cold cream.

he shakes his head, a smile on his face. “you’re the first roommate i’ve had.”

you raise your eyebrows, “like ever?” he nods. “makes sense, you don’t know proper roommate etiquette, because you’re never here,” you snort. it was a joke, but it was true. you were projecting your upset through the statement. he is never here, and you just wanted to know why. did he not like being around you? is he just using this place to shower and store his things? was that it?

jungkook doesn’t reply to your remark. completely disregarding it when he speaks again, “yeah, i’ve lived on my own before i moved in here, i moved around a lot.”

“why?” you ask. jungkook never answered ‘why’ questions. always said that it was never your business, that you were always so nosy.

but this time he sighs, “not really sure.” his spoon stabbing into the cookie dough, scraping the sides for the softer dough. “never really had a reason to stay.”

that was the most you’ve ever heard from him. no matter how much you wanted to ask why he stayed here, why he stayed with you. you knew that maybe it was pushing a little too far. one question at a time, baby steps, you tell yourself.

but you couldn’t help but think— wish that you could be a reason to make him stay.

“must be tiring,” you comment, taking a scoop of dough for yourself. he doesn’t reply after that, instead just smearing some of the dough on your cheek and nose. a gasp leaves your throat, wiping the stickiness from your face and transferring it to his. “you’re gonna give me acne,” you groan.

“oh relax, i’ll help you wash it off.” he smiles as he stands up, holding his hand out for you to take. he sets the ice cream on the counter, you copy with the cookie dough. both of you travelling to the sink to wash your hands and your faces. jungkook dries his face off and stands by, watching as you splash water on your face. you miss a spot on your cheek, which he helps you wipe off. his thumb coming up and swiping against the dough. his hand is warm, if it were there any longer, you would have leaned into his touch.

after you both dried your faces off, you both agreed that you’ve consumed enough cookie dough and ice cream for the night. after returning them to the fridge, you make your way back to the couch. the movie almost over, nearing the ending scenes when you sit down. jungkook chooses another movie, legally blonde. “lots of blonde today, thinking of bleaching your hair?” you joke, throwing a blanket on the both of you.

“you read my mind.” he gasps sarcastically.

another comfortable silence falls in between you both, the sound of elle woods speaking replaces your conversation with each other. you turn and watch as jungkook’s focus remains solely on the tv. you lean back into the couch, smiling to yourself. there was a bittersweet feeling to this moment. you were happy that jungkook was here, but something felt off. you felt yourself getting lonely. you feel this way every time jungkook is about to leave, it’s like you have a warning signal. like that one time last year where jungkook left for two months, december and january, the two most festive months of the year. you were out buying christmas decorations when you felt something inside of you grow cold. it’s when you got in your car that you saw his text.

[7:58 pm] jungkook: *jeon jungkook has sent you $1,000*

[7:58 pm] jungkook: ^^ for rent

[8:21 pm] you: leaving again?

[8:23 pm] jungkook: yeah

[8:24 pm] you: when r u coming back

[8:24 pm] you: i just bought christmas decor :(

[8:25 pm] jungkook: :( sorry

[8:26 pm] jungkook: also not sure

[8:26 pm] jungkook: i’ll be back to see them though! promise. i’ll help you take them down too

with that, you went home and decorated the apartment with a christmas tree, a snowman, and stockings with yours and jungkook’s initials hanging below the tv on the wall. waiting patiently all december and the first two weeks of january to see if jungkook would ever come back to see how cute you made the apartment.

he never did.

rather, he came back the end of january, when all the festivities were done and the decorations were down.

“where are the decorations?” he asks, shrugging off his jacket and walking into the kitchen.

you rolled your eyes, picking up your mug of hot tea. “took them down myself, didn’t think you were coming back.” after that you moved into your room, watching tv and sulking to yourself. sure, you were upset but you shouldn’t have expected anything more from him. it’s become one of the only personality traits that you see in him: ghosting you and coming back like nothing happened. plus, it’s not like he owed you an explanation. you and jungkook were simply roommates, nothing more than that. no matter how much you wanted to get to know him, jungkook always left before you were able to get any deeper than two weeks into his past.

you close your eyes and shake off the memory. breaking the silence when you speak, “you’re leaving soon, aren’t you?”

his gaze moves away from the tv. his eyes meeting yours, “why do you say that?”

you break eye contact before you shrug, “i can always feel it.”

he doesn’t say anything after, letting you wallow in the feeling washing over you once again. jungkook was leaving again and he knew you knew. there was nothing he could say, because what did you want to hear? that he’ll stay? maybe it was because it’s only been a day, and he’s already leaving. the whole thing makes your head ache. the both of you continue to watch the movie until the end, the clock striking four in the morning. jungkook turns the tv off when you yawn.

“tired?” he asks. you nod, standing from the couch and turning off the lights. he follows suit, stretching and trailing you down the hall. you walk into your room and lay on your bed, jungkook stays at your door, turning your light off before softly saying, “goodnight.” and then closing your door.

sometime in the morning, around seven or eight, you feel your bed dip beside you. it’s jungkook, you can tell by the smell of his body wash. a strong fruit smell that always feels like it burns your nose. you’re barely awake, your head still lightly aching. your droopy eyelids beckon you to sleep. jungkook doesn’t say anything, instead just sitting there.

in his head he’s saying something, apologizing to you for all the times he left you alone in this big apartment. you must have felt so alone, probably scared too. he’s too much of a coward to say it out loud. so for now, in his head, he repeats the apologies over and over again.

“sweet dreams,” jungkook says. rising from your bed. you can feel it, the comforting weight next to you as you fall back asleep disappears.

you blame your drowsiness for the way you reach out for his arm, gently holding his hand. he stutters in his step, looking back to you and your connected hands. “don’t go,” you mumble, eyes still closed.

and for once. jungkook hesitates. for a split second, he wonders how it’ll feel to stay with you.

but he doesn’t know. and he’ll never know. because in the next minute, he’s slipping his hand away from yours and grabbing his bag. walking out the door. again.

in the morning you wake to an empty apartment. jungkook’s door is closed and it’s just you again. your feet pad against the cold floor into the kitchen, a paper on the island catching your attention.

jungkook’s handwriting is specific, you could tell the marks apart from someone else’s. a smile spreads across your face when you read the note. terribly, your heart pounds and your cheeks flush.

be back in two weeks.

was supposed to be gone the entire month, but i wanted to stop by and see you.

sorry i only stayed for a day.

didn’t say it yesterday, but happy valentine’s day. there’s something in the fridge for you.

take care.

Xx, J.

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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 4 years

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The Truths Found On Petram Viridios IV (1/?)

What started out as an idea for a short one shot grew into a multichap that I'm almost done editing. I think 🤔 it'll be either 4 or 5 chapters long depending on how long each chapter will be after I'm done editing. Anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy.

In this fic you learn how easily things can change, but how it effects you isn't always a bad thing.

________________

Chapter 1: The Phenomenon

There was little difference to what was happening around you at the moment. There were no little green men, or yellow submarines, neither were there tangelos, or bags of golden rings, but there was a blue-haired man with plenty of dreams. Still, life was swell; summer was around the corner, and you were reading in the garage just to be near Zeta-7; he was working on his latest piece of tech, and you were distracted by his charming quirks and ticks. If you hadn't known any better, you'd say it was business as usual. Yet, it was because you had been acquainted with Rick that the previous blindspots of your world were made known to you; conscious of the rare events which were going to take place in another quadrant of space.

A phenomenon was going to occur; one which would not happen again for another 1000 years; the blooming of the Milleannos flower. Legends say that those who touch its pollen might live forever, and those who smell its perfume might be cured of all that ails them, but those claims were supposedly unsubstantiated. There was to be a gala to celebrate the occasion; all in attendance were respectable, distinguished guests and because of Rick, you were also invited, but there were rules; strict guidelines which were to be obeyed unless you wished to throw away your life. And although you weren't happy about them, you were willing to abide by them for Rick's sake. However, there were a few things you didn't understand. "Rick, why won't we be allowed to dance together?"

His hands paused their activity, and his body sagged a little; dreading the reminder not because he's informed you already, but because it pained him to remind himself that he couldn't spend a once in a lifetime occasion with you. "B-because according to the laws of Petram Viridios IV, you are assigned a um - a party companion which is determined according to the alignment of your spine, carbon dioxide levels, as well as daily water intake. And due to the variety of guests, everyone must stand at least six feet apart to avoid air poisoning. However, if given an a-air helmet in order to assist with breathing, then I believe that the last rule isn't as severe. It's - there is a-a lot to remember."

Currently, he was piecing together the circuits and connecting the wires which would power his reflective shield. It was going to be worn under his dress shirt and would be undetectable under their scanners; as a precaution of course. "Ricky, you know I barely drink water." You weren't a fan of water, but you enjoyed flavored beverages and if you did drink water, it was always carbonated first. "I mean, I can get past the distance thing, but what am I supposed to do if I'm assigned to someone I don't like, and have to spend hours being bored and jealous that you're next to gorgeous, realistic fembots from Westworld?"

Unlike you, Zeta-7 drank so much water, you wondered how he wasn't rushing to the bathroom every five minutes. The only other people who drank that much water were beauty gurus who wanted to keep their skin in tip-top shape; you could really try harder if you wanted to. Good naturedly, he answered. "Gosh, y-you don't have to worry about that. I know a fembot when I-I see one."

You raised a brow at this, but seeing as he meant it literally, you listened on. "No s-siree, I won't be assigned a party companion because I'm going t-t-to be assisting the king in protecting their sacred relic."

How Rick became designated to assist with such a task was beyond you, but there seemed to be a glimmer of slight pride in the fact that he'd be so lucky and privileged as to be near the legendary flower, as well as to the beings who revered it. He was determined to find out the truth behind its properties, and if his hypothesis proved true, then he had a plan. You enjoyed when he was diverted with schemes; not the kind which was evil in nature, but the ones which could end happily or inconclusively. Anyway, you two were discussing how to go about it all.

The discussion had gaps of pause where he'd need to concentrate on bits of wiring that needed to be soldered or bent. Without distraction, you were more aware that it was humid, especially with the garage door being fully open for proper ventilation; bits of your hair stuck to your face and to the back of your neck despite how you'd try to tie it. As annoying as it was, it did have its draw; every so often, you'd catch Rick staring and you'd feel a thrill for it could be a year or ten years, but his shy tendencies would never stop being endearing; why he felt the need to reign himself when you were cool with him checking you out was something you hoped he'd someday become more comfortable with, but for now you'd simply giggle and wink at him to let him know you knew. He did his best to focus on the task at hand, but it wasn't going as well as he had hoped for it happened more than once that you'd have to hand him a tool he was blindly reaching out for. "You wouldn't happen to know who my party companion is," you inquired, as you were tying your hair up for the umpteenth time. "do you? And if you do, can't you change them?"

Giving you that look which always preceded his speeches of why he couldn't do that random illegal thing, he explained with kindly patience. "I could change th-the records, and assign you to someone I know, but that wouldn't be legal."

"I know."

"However," he brightened as he paused his work to face you fully. "I do have a copy of the guest list. Give me a-a moment to pull it up on my computer. Hmm," he wondered more to himself then out loud. "that's odd."

"What is it?"

Drumming his fingertips on his workbench, he double-checked his calculations, then went over and wrote it all out on a chalkboard to be sure. Tapping the freshly used chalk tip to his chin in thought, leaving a little powder on his face, he nodded when it seemed satisfactory. "According to um - to my calculations, it's possible that it's either the Salamandrian chemist, V'gha Khadaka or the Chordatan Knight, Noathamas."

"Is there a correlation between the two?"

"Other than their similar water intake levels, they both enjoy their privacy. However, I'm a-a little stumped as to how it might be possible to be assigned to them both. None of your occupations are similar, neither is there a species similarity, but I'm sure I'll figure it out before the event."

Great, just great. That sort of information wasn't all that helpful, but you pressed a kiss to his cheek to ease the worry which he had been hiding. You wondered if it was too late to back out, but for the most part you were determined to be there for him, even if it meant odd company. "Alright. Um… is there something I should keep in mind before I go dress shopping?"

A quick glance at your current outfit made him smile. You were wearing an old band tee and jeans with so many patches, that they were more patch then jean. "I-I don't think so. Almost anything is fine. Though, y-you might want to avoid plant-based materials in favor of synthetics just in case."

"Okay, I think I can do that, but don't be surprised if I look like I just walked out of a 1980s prom. I'll have you know that being slightly flammable is a dream of mine."

He chuckled at that and patted your shoulder. "Hohoho, I'm sure it'll be fine. You - you always look pretty in whatever you wear."

"If you mean that I'll be so fine, that I'll light up the room with my razzle-dazzle, then you better watch out. You never know who'll be charmed without my knowing."

Now, there had been little to no weight to your phrasing just now, but he felt differently. Giving your shoulders a squeeze, there was a distant, far off look in his eyes that you could only recall from specific occasions. It was a mix of longing, sadness, and regret, but you couldn't pin it on what exactly. It was as though he were trying to convey by sight that there was something he ought to do, that he ought to say, but as quickly as it had appeared, it left and was replaced by acceptance. He pulled away and returned to his previous task while you used a spare computer to begin the search for the perfect dress. He said it'll be fine, and you certainly hoped so.

____________

Adjustments in gravity made you feel as though you could jump in and out of craters as though you were wearing moon shoes; that is until you stepped onto a ship or station, then you felt as though you had fifty pounds tied to each foot. You were grateful for the terrain stabilizers that Rick placed in your flats a few adventures ago, otherwise, you would've already been worn out.

You two arrived a few minutes apart by way of the designated ship which held a variety of guests. To explain, the ship itself was a marvel and a work of beauty as far as intergalactic travel was concerned; its mechanical parts were held together by a compound whose main ingredient was a type of scarlet amber. Piece by piece, it had been crafted by a mixture of living matter and tech so advanced, that it'd have taken 300 years of Earth-based studies to understand a fraction of how one of its panels could work; probably sooner for someone like Rick.

Your eyes trailed the conduits as you were led through hallways that seemed to spiral and spill into larger hallways with varying temperatures and design and you wondered how it was those conduits crossed over and branched off like veins, but you had no time to find out and didn't feel privileged enough to ask as you were led into a cabin. Multiple voices hushed, but resumed to their usual loudness once you had settled into what appeared to be a loveseat with the coloring and texture of a pumpkin; it was your assigned seating, but it was not as soft as you would have liked.

It wouldn't be till later that you'd find out that Rick had traveled in a cabin on level 4 while you had been on level 2. In your cabin was a being composed of pure energy, with a name not spelled in letters but in frequencies, who was one of the musicians. A few feet away, was V'gha Khaḍaka; he was tall, sure-looking, had smooth, striped skin which glistened, and a tail strong enough to break someone's spine in a blink; the good thing was that he hadn't been trained in combat, but was simply a scientist who enjoyed the pursuit of knowledge. And a few feet away from the Salamandrian chemist was the knight Noathamas; he stood at half your height, but his chest was puffed out in such a way that made him appear larger, while his round amber eyes and curly whiskers gave him a soft, cuddly appearance; you had been warned by Rick that his appearance did not reveal much about his character and to watch out for him.

It was uncommon but not unheard of to be assigned multiple party companies as you had been; you were matched up to both V'gha and Noathamas due to your odd chemical makeup. Who would've thought that drinking a La Croix before leaving home would confuse their scanners? Goodness, you were grateful that it was a quick trip, and when it was time to depart the ship, you were escorted by two guards before you were given a helmet; it was nearly invisible except for its indicator light which was shaped like a flower, and it blended in with your dress; a colorful sequin cocktail dress you found on eBay. Not far from you were both your companions, who gave off the impression that they were your entourage rather than dates for the night. You saw Rick from a distance, and you knew he was trying to play it cool, but his eyes were sparkling with affection, although he knew he was supposed to suppress it due to the strict traditions imposed by the royal family; he looked away as he was escorted by six guards, but part of you wished that he hadn't.

You took a deep breath to calm your giddiness; this wasn't the time to allow your emotions to carry you away and affect the mission which was to get through the evening. V'gha could pick up on your subtle changes in body language, and thanks to a universal translator in your helmet, you could understand him. "From what I understand," he commented with a surprisingly smooth, velvety voice. "he's the smartest man in the universe. Is that true?"

"Maybe," you replied nonchalantly, "but he's more than just a brain. I heard he's a great lover. Not really my type," you lied because Zeta-7 suggested that you keep the details of your relationship with him a secret; again for safety, but you thought boasting up his reputation wouldn't hurt. "though, to each his own."

"Do you know him personally?"

When questions like this were thrown at you, it made you wonder about the curious people who meant it to sound nice, but in actuality wanted to test the waters as to how much can they ask so soon. Glancing at your nails, you feigned disinterest. "I'm not sure if I'm allowed to give out that type of information."

"You two are the only humans here." he stated matter of factly. There were humanoid beings but he was right. "It doesn't take rocket science to figure that much out."

"How would you know," you retorted with an air of certainty. "you're not a rocket scientist."

"You're right, I'm not. However, I do dabble into it from time to time. I'm sure he does too. I can smell the exhaust from here."

Hmm, perhaps this event was going to be more interesting than you thought. You shared a look of understanding with the chemist, and thought that perhaps you wouldn't need to be so wary of him; his charisma gave him a charm you hadn't yet decided if it was welcomed or should be ignored; whether his earlier comment was out of egotism or curiosity. And before you could make a comeback, Noathamas commented. "Shall we find our assigned seating and continue from there?"

"Sounds fine. Why don't you two walk ahead," you suggested with a coolness you didn't know you had. "I'll be sure to follow."

When you were sure that they were far enough, you took out your miniature glass terrarium necklace, which held a shrunken sunflower that had an iridescent shimmer on its petals; the one Rick had given you after a memorable date; it was made to remind you of how he saw you and you were very glad it had gone undetected under the scanners you passed through. And in your mind's eye you could still see the glimmer and shine of his electric blue eyes as he had taken in your appearance this afternoon before you two departed Earth; oh how he had wanted to kiss you and hug you but had refrained from doing so in order to double-check if he had all his supplies. His compliments had been many as he drove into the inky blackness of space, but when he parked at the station which was at the midway point, and you two lined up to board the ship which took you to this strange world, his face became neutral; his job made him good at that. You kissed your lovely necklace, replaced it so that it laid underneath your dress collar, and your heart called out to him in the void which was Petram Viridios IV; hoping you wouldn't have to go the through the evening without seeing your beloved again before you made yourself appear neutral and made sure to stay at least six feet apart from everyone in your midst.

Tbc

#doofus rick #doofus rick x reader #Rick Sanchez x reader #j19ζ7 #j19z7 #rick j19z7 #Rick Sanchez #rick and morty fanfic #rick and morty fanfiction #rnm fanfic #rnm #my fanfiction #My fanfic #My writing #My works #fanfiction #rnm fanfiction

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melinaajamie · 4 years

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35 Questions for Fanfic Writers

Thanks @bachint for tagging me! I’ll try to provide you with the best answers I can come up with ^^

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!) Probably three stars, maybe four? Yeah, four. I know it seems arrogant but aside from the occasional “OMG EVERYTHING I WRITE IS CRAP!” that ever writer experiences from time to time, I usually like what I’m writing and especially how I write ^^

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Bc I love exploring the universes and characters I love further. Ehy accept the canon as it is? ;D

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? Puuh, that’s a hard one? Maybe that I like to kill a bunch of characters? :D Naah, it’s probably the length of what I write. Once I get started I can’t seem to stop.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you? Since I study literature and read a bunch of books for it, absolutely. It can be any book from any author I read. But Arthur Conan Doyle inspires me a lot, Simon Beckett and Paulo Coelho.

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of? My Professor Layton fanfic “The Cogs of Time” ^^

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily? The start. I hear a lot of people say this is the hardest and in some ways I agree with them. But I usually just start writing and go with the flow. Or I immediately have the beginning of a story/chapter in my mind once I start thinking about it.

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most? Writing believable dialogue between parents and their kids. I’m fine as long as the kids are little (let’s say up to 8, maybe 10), but then I’m stumped.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write? Like in general or specific characters? I can write any characters as long as they are not parents. Then I have a bit of a problem.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write? Ah. Okay. Tying in with (7) here, parents (:

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for? To write for? Hm... probably adventure, crime fiction/detective fiction and Young Adult? I don’t know, I like a quite realistic approach that can and will take a dark turn.

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most? About the world. About what’s wrong. About relationships that took a wrong turn, about things that are almost right, about figure skating (big fan!), about growing up, about changing.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about. Currently, I’m absolutely excited about my Layton Brothers; Mystery Room fanfic “A Game of Murder”! I’m SO close to the ending and I can’t wait to solve the murder and finally reveal the killer! Everyone will hate me XD

13. First fandom you ever wrote for? Disney’s “Frozen”

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for? That changes according to my current obsession. At the moment, my favourite fandoms are Professor Layton and Pokemon.

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for? Weird in what way? I don’t believe in that concept, sorry :)

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)? Does murdering characters I and the audience love count? Then it’s that XD

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for. Probably more of a genre but romance. If romance is the main plot/trope I’m off. If it is a sub plot that’s interesting AND supports the story in some way, I will take a look.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written? Probably also “Cogs of Time”. So much death in the end that no one expected, so much heartbreak. I admit, I indeed was a bit of an asshole with that last chapter XD

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between? I like giving the canon a little twist and AUs ^^

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff? Gen. If it’s shippy, then it’s usually just something short. Like I said, I’m not one for romance.

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!) That also depends on my current obsession. At the moment, that would be LayClaire and Lemmy (both romantic, both Professor Layton) and Lucifendi (platonic and romantic, Layton Brothers; Mystery Room). And any Pokemon couple for friendship ^^

22. Do you listen to anything while you write? MUSIC! Always!!

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? independent ideas. But I often find myself including a line I’ve read as a prompt somewhere or making it the theme of a chapter.

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works? Multi-chapter works.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic?Tell us about them! I have dreamt about my fics being movies or TV series, but spin-offs? If I want a spin-off I write it :D

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try? So far, nope. As Margaret Atwood once said, “The paper basket is your friend. It was invented for you by God.”

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received? Someone saying I made their day with my writing :) I love to make people happy!”

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing? It does hurt but I know people want to help so I try to be open to it and look back into the part that was given critic.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out? I always do that when I have to write interaction between parents and older children. I always feel like it’s very stiff but my friends say it’s okay. Well.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst? MERCILESS ANGST ALL THE WAY.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them! Yep! I once created a Professor Layton OC whom was the dead (well, we never really got to know if she was indeed dead, she has just vanished) daughter of a character. She was instead just kidnapped by the criminal organisation her father was fighting and trained to be one of their soldiers. I never write the fanfic but it never left my mind. Might do that one day :)

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less. “Let’s play my favourite game. A game of murder.”

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process? That I put as much effort in as I can to make it as good as possible fir you guys!! And that I usually do a lot of research and put the most effort into the tiniest things to make it realistic and add another layer to make it a shade darker ;D

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. I’m really proud of this but it’s not a fanfic. I hope that’s okay. I can’t really think of one thing that I’m proud of bc there are many. It’ from the book I’m currently writing.

He let go of him so suddenly that the cold hit him like a brick. Mikhail gasped for air, needed a few seconds until he could open his eyes again. The view was heaven-sent. Vasja was standing above him, the gaze of his icy blue eyes troubled yet so piercing and captivating that Mikhail found himself sitting up without another thought as if someone had turned him into a puppet. At times, he felt as if Vasja was the great puppet master who made Mikhail’s entire world dance as he liked. And he loved dancing for Vasja. The gaze of his icy blue eyes contrasted with his ruby red hair which surrounded his face like a bloody halo; it made his snow white skin glow even more. He remembered the feeling of Vasja’s hair between his fingers, as soft as velvet, as clouds, as a mild breeze o fair on one oft he first days of spring. He reached out for Vasja but he was quick to grab the boy’s hands and place them low on his stomach. A shudder ran down Mikhail’s spine when he felt Vasja’s finger travel across his arms until they cupped his face. He lifted it so Mikhail had to look at him. „You know the rules, right, Micky?“

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want! Like, it’s so amazing?? You get millions of words for FREE and the authors don’t get ANYTHING but STILL we have this amazing community who keeps writing and reading and commenting... It’s just AWESOME!! I’m so glad I discovered fanfiction bc the community is so awesome and I always wanted to give some canons a good twist or just think of new things with characters I love!!

#fanfiction #fanfic #The Cogs of Time #professor layton #layton brothers mystery room #ao3 #i got tagged #35 questions for fanfic writers #writing #my writing #writer

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bamfoftheundead · 4 years

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Some random drabble that came to me while I was out workin with my aunt, it all started bc I read somewhere some guy said that he "looked 30 by the time he was 16" and it reminded me of darkholme. It was suppose to be funny but it took a sad-ish turn

@mikeellee and @dannybagpipesarecalling if you're interested

Enjoy

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" Uhhhh 40? 45? " Kitty answers innocently as darkholme chokes on the beer he'd been nursing for the past hour

" excuse me? WAS? did I hear you correctly? " The man chokes out as he wipes the german beer from his fur. Kitty flusters for a moment before breaking into a fit of tipsy giggles. Darkholmes jaw goes slack as the woman falls forward, arms crossed laughing flat out into the table, and at him.

" i-im sorryyyy " she squeals even harder into her arms.

Kurt's ears pull back in defense and partial embarrassment. Did he really look that old?

The jewish woman in front of him barely recovers before twisting open a new bottle and pouring its contents into her glass.

" it's just- you look much older than you are, it's probably " she fumbles to twist the cap back on " -probably the stress " finishing the bottle she tosses it into the recycling bin nearby. Darkholme deflates in place, he'd always know he'd looked older than he was, christ by the time he was 16 he'd been seen as a man in his 30s, it was irritating but he hadn't truly cared much for looks since his wife's passing. But now the newest object of his affections sat in front of him telling him how goddamn old he looked.

Kitty shakes her head to rid her drunken self of the giggles as darkholme sank into further into his chair.

" but you were always so attractive no matter- no matter what really " she hiccups as he perks up at the revelation " you have this swar- swau- SAUVE, look that makes you so goddamn foxy "

Leaning back into her chair she eyes him over and smiles, definitely a fox. Now fully re-engaged darkholme leans forward and props up his arms, eager to hear more about his apparent "foxyness"

" -and when you came out of the portal and we had that uh, that 'moment' " she awkwardly plays with her fingers as she recalls his earlier reaction. Darkholme looks away for a moment, regretful. " And after that I saw you, really saw you and I knew you were a different worlds Kurt, but like, I literally thought you were at LEAST a decade older " waving a hand is dismissal she giggles again "not that there's anything wrong with being older of course, I do like older men soooo- "

Darkholme chokes again, the statement leaves him speechless for a second moment. It wasn't like he was that much older than her! Fuck he was only a little bit older than this world's Kurt anyway, he was not old.

" your older but in like, a sexy way. It's not a b-bad thing it's just " she takes another long swig of her glass " well actually it's pretty damn hot " her blunt tone takes darkholme back for a moment as the woman squints at her empty glass, frowning she looks around for a different bottle as darkholme thinks.

Coolly the blue man leans forward and pours his own bottle into her glass, she would need to be absolutely shitfaced for their next conversation.

" Well then Katherine, tell me, why do you think I am *hot* " he knew it was a manipulative tactic but he wanted to hear the words from her. Kitty looks stumped for a moment as she drinks the rest of her glass. Slamming the cup back down the jewish woman leans her head back and stares up at the ceiling, solemnly.

" well, i- I think it's because your,,,, your you " playing with her cup she smiles as darkholmes heart stills. " It doesn't matter where or when Kurt's from it's him, it'll always be him and i ... I'll always love him " her eyes stare at the table as her tone shifts quietly.

Frowning the brunette suddenly shakes her head

" no it's not just that, not t-that. Your Kurt, you are but your you, you're darkholme, not wagner. But I- " grimacing she squeezes her glass as the man leans forward

" yes? " He asked gently, needing to hear her answer

" but I, I like you too. It doesn't matter who because I still like you, I .... might even love you "

Kitty laughs soberly as she slides a hand through her hair, laughter shifting into a sad grunt. Darkholme leans back in his chair as well, overwhelmed by his find. His heart beats painfully in his chest as he thinks carefully of his words

" it's stupid, f-e-rget it "

' NO! I mean ... It's alright, I like you too "

His tone lightens as he leans forward and gently places a hand over her own. Surprised kitty looks up and sees her reflection in the blood red eyes of her partner, her friend. Darkholme leans forward, hopeful and somewhat tipsy. Kitty freezes as he grows closer, leaning into her face and gently brushing his lips against hers. Darkholme waits for her to move, to accept what was happening and most of all, him.

Jittery she slides her thumb over his hand and kisses him. Darkholme removes his hand from hers and immediately slides a free arm around her waist. Uncomfortable with the position darkholme pulls kitty forward and watches delighted as she phases through the table. He pulls her onto his lap and holds her as tight as he can as she slides both arms around his shoulders. Pulling away he looks back into her eyes, he wouldn't let this be some drunken mishap or mistake, it had to be real. Instead pulls her close against him, pressing his face into her shoulder as she buries her face against his neck.

They sit there together for some time, not a word passes between the two. Darkholme feels a small wet sensation on his neck, she's crying. His heart freezes and doubt ravages him.

Kitty cries as she clings to the blue mutant underneath her. Fear and doubt claw their way into her mind. She thought of Kurt, her Kurt. This wasn't right, she couldn't just betray him like this. Her stomach clenched with guilt and cheap beer as her mind ran, Kurt would hate her if he'd found out about them, about darkholme. She knew it wasn't right, it shouldn't have felt so right, that she should wait for her Kurt to come back. And that's what she had been doing for so long, it hurt so much. The fear of betraying her first love, the fear is losing a second one- she couldn't take it. Kitty wasn't sure she could survive if she lost darkholme, she'd already lost Kurt and a part of herself the day the man had died but darkholme .... God she couldn't do it

She tries to pull away from his grasp -too drunk to fully rely on her mutation a second time- but the blue man resists. He holds her waist and further presses his face into her shoulder. Kitty squeezes his shirt and feels his own trembling.

As she turns to pull away she hers a sound that nearly breaks her. She feels a few drops of liquid on her shoulder -what she assumed to be beer at first- and came to the startling realization that darkholme, the god hating man was crying, he was fucking crying. No longer held back she lets herself collapse against him. His sobs are small and hard to hear but she can feel them.

Pulling back she looks at the man with watery brown eyes and gently takes his chin into her hand and guides his face. Wet golden eyes meet her own. His brow is furrowed in frustration and his fangs are made known. They see each other and kitty gently takes her other hand and slides it up his cheeks, wiping away his tears as they soak into his furry cheeks. It was obvious darkholme wasn't a crier and kitty was certain she'd never see him like this again. The things alcohol could do to a person was truly amazing. Still holding his face she pulls him close to her, his bigger nose pressing into the corner of hers as their lips meet again.

This time kitty doesn't let go, his fangs press against her bottom lip and she doesn't let go. Darkholme slides a hand through her hair, keeping the other firmly around her waist to ground himself. The two mutants sit together like this for some time, taking in their presence and filling themselves with each other.

Darkholme holds her this time, he doesn't push her away, he doesn't yell, he doesn't let go.

" I may even love you as well, kätzchen "

#kurt wagner #nightcrawler #x men #xmen #bamfs post #kurtty #bamfoftheundeads post #kitty pryde #kurt darkholme #x men nightcrawler #aoa nightcrawler #aoa kurt #darkholme #bamfs writing

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phantasticworks · 4 years

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If You Don’t Love Me, Pretend - Chapter Ten

hi guys!! Back with chapter ten. I hope you’re all doing well and staying safe at home (if you can) Thank you for all the sweet comments on this story so far, it literally means the world to me :’’)

read on ao3

Words: 10k

Summary: Dan and Phil have a few disagreements.

Warnings for this chapter: Swearing, mentions of past trauma (but subtle)

Over a week passes by the time Dan realizes that they haven’t addressed the Levi situation again. Not once had it been brought up, and he was starting to get antsy about it. Not doing anything felt just as bad as doing something that turned out to be the wrong thing, so eventually, Dan decides to take things into his own hands. He knows, even as he dials the number, that he needs to speak to Phil about it again, that they need to sit down and have a serious conversation about it, but right now that’s the last thing on his mind.

“You’ve reached Hazel at Bridging the Gap Fostering; what can I do for you today?”

Dan swallows hard before answering, and double checks that the door to his office is shut. “Hi, Hazel, this is Daniel Howell.”

Hazel’s voice immediately shifts. “Oh! Hello, Dan, how are you? Is everything alright?”

“I’m well, thanks. Everything is fine, the twins are doing well.” He hesitates before continuing. “They’ve started school, and they really seem to enjoy it.”

“That’s wonderful! I’m glad they seem to be adjusting well.” Hazel seems to realize then that the twins aren’t the reason he’s calling, and her voice picks up a more serious tone. “I have a feeling you didn’t just call to give me an update: is that right?”

Dan laughs uneasily at the astute assumption. “Yes, you’d be right about that. I actually had something I needed to speak to you about, regarding the twins.”

“Is everything okay, Dan?” Hazel sounds nervous herself now, and Dan nearly laughs again.

“I mean, that’s sort of for you to tell me. It’s weird, so just give me a moment to explain.”

“Alright,” Hazel says slowly, sounding more than a little apprehensive.

“So, I’ve overheard a couple conversations of the twins, and on both occasions, they’ve mentioned someone called Levi.” He pauses then, waiting to see how Hazel would react. If she knows anything, he’s pretty sure he’ll be able to tell.

“Alright, and who is Levi?” She asks, clueless.

He releases a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, relieved at not having been lied to. “I’m not sure, actually. That’s why I wanted to speak to you.” He collects all of his thoughts. “I could be wrong, but I think… I think maybe they have a brother.”

“What?”

As Dan recounts the conversations he’d heard the twins have, he can tell that Hazel is just as intrigued as he is, and probably just as stumped. He can hear typing on her end, and he wonders if maybe there’s some sort of database that allows her to check for possible siblings.

“And that’s all they’ve said about him,” Dan finishes finally. “But that’s enough for Phil and I to speculate, you know? And I didn’t want to just ask them about it, you know, I wasn’t sure if it would be traumatic, or-“

Hazel cuts him off then, her voice gentle. “You did the right thing, Dan. I need to look into it a little more to be sure, but you definitely made the right choice to come to me first.”

Dan lets out a sigh of relief. “Great,” he breathes out. “So, do you think you’ll be able to find out for sure who he is?”

There’s more typing, and Hazel sounds a little distracted when she answers. “Yes, I think so. I need to call Stephanie at the other agency to know for sure, since it was her case first, and hopefully she can give me some answers.”

“Thanks, Hazel.”

“No, thank you for letting me know about this. It’s very rare that they separate children like that, and I’m shocked the twins didn’t ask any direct questions to me or you and Phil. I’ll try to find out what I can, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks. Just give me a call when you know something?” He requests.

“Sure, Dan.”

Dan bids her goodbye then, chewing on his bottom lip anxiously. He hopes that she finds out something soon, and hopefully whatever it is that she discovers will be enough to relieve his anxiety about it just a little.

His phone chimes with a text, and he finds himself smiling before he even checks it, already knowing who it is.

Phil: Want to meet for lunch? I’ll pay

Dan: free lunch? Yes mate

Phil: smh you only want me for my money

Dan: um yeah?

Phil responds with an eye rolling emoji, and Dan snickers before telling him he would meet him for lunch at twelve.

Time passes predictably slow but eventually he was leaving for lunch, calling to Louise that he’d see her in an hour. As nosy as she is, she predictably leaned out of her office and gave him a narrowed gaze. “Where are you going?”

Dan rolls his eyes at her. “I’m meeting Phil for lunch,” he informs her, twirling his keys around his fingers.

Louise smirks at him. “Have fun, babe, see you later. Tell your man I said hello!” She winks suggestively as she waves him off.

Dan resists the urge to flip her off, heading out the door with a grumble. Despite how he acted though, he really wasn’t bothered by Louise’s teasing, if anything it usually just made him laugh. He knew it was just in good fun, and sometimes it gave him a warm feeling to pretend that the thing she was teasing him for was real. That was a dangerous game though, one that he wasn’t very keen on playing when he didn’t have to.

When he pulls up at the café he’d agreed to meet Phil at, he can spot Phil waiting just inside at a table, scrolling on his phone as he sips at what Dan assumes is a caramel macchiato. He hums to himself as he walks inside, smiling when Phil glances up at him. Seeing the other hot drink waiting for him, he moves over to the table rather than going to the counter to order, sliding into the empty seat.

“Hi,” he greets, knocking his feet against Phil’s playfully as he picks up the cup.

“That’s hot,” Phil warns, watching as Dan sips from it anyway, unbothered by the near-scalding liquid rushing over his tongue.

“And what?” Dan says mockingly.

Phil shrugs, then giggles. Even as he tries to hide it, Dan notices and quirks an eyebrow. “I just remembered something funny,” he explains vaguely, sipping at his own drink.

“Care to share?” Dan drawls.

“Dan is not on fire, more like Dan is on fire,” he snickers, grinning when Dan only glowers at him.

“That was like ten years ago! Can’t you let my stupid old username rest in peace?”

“Never! It’s fond mems, Dan; can’t let that go.”

Dan rolls his eyes at the explanation before tilting his head to the counter. “Did you order already?”

“I did. I only got here a few minutes before you, so it’ll probably be a few minutes.”

Nodding, Dan sips from his drink again, his eyes darting to look out the window. “It’s getting colder,” he observes.

“Yeah.”

“Do you know if the twins have winter coats?”

Phil shrugs. “I don’t know, actually. I haven’t noticed any in their closet, so I don’t guess so.”

“We should go shopping in a few weeks then. Just in case.” Dan stirs at his drink, debating whether or not he should tell Phil about the call with Hazel.

Before Phil has a chance to respond, their waitress is interrupting them with their food. “Do you guys need anything else?” She asks cheerfully, all smiles as she looks between the two of them, her gaze lingering on Phil.

Dan huffs, almost amused at her obvious staring. Almost. “We’re fine, thanks.” He not so subtly reaches for his cup with his left hand, not missing the way her eyes widen when they fall on the ring. He pointedly glances down at Phil’s left hand as well when the girl studies him, smirking when she blushes after noticing the matching ring on his hand.

“Oh, um. Well, enjoy your meals!” She calls, sounding embarrassed as she goes to leave.

Dan smirks around his drink, assuming that Phil had been oblivious to the whole interaction. His amusement is cut short, however, when he hears Phil snort.

“You really enjoy making people uncomfortable by making them think we’re together, don’t you?” He sounds bitter, and the smile is wiped off Dan’s face when he glances up at him.

“What?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

Phil rolls his eyes, his annoyed huff audible from across the table. “I saw you smirking after she brought our food. Does it really amuse you so much for random strangers to get uncomfortable seeing us as a gay couple?”

Dan’s jaw drops. If he didn’t know any better, he would think that Phil was offended for an entirely different reason. He nearly laughs when he realizes that Phil likely just thinks he was just trying to queer bait or something for his own personal amusement. “No, Phil. God, no. Did you see how she was looking at you? Like, c’mon, man, she clearly fancied you.”

Phil looks confused. “And? Even if she did, what the hell was that about?”

Dan shakes his head, laughing once without humor. “I don’t know, I guess I just-“ he stops himself when he realizes he was about to say he was jealous, or something equally as ridiculous. “I thought it was weird for her to be looking at you that way.”

A hurt look crosses Phil’s face. “Why, because it’s weird to think that someone would actually look at me like that?” He sounds offended, and Dan knows that if he doesn’t explain this, and fast, it’s going to turn into an unnecessary argument.

“No, love, I just meant that it was unprofessional for her to be looking at someone who wasn’t hers like that. I mean,” he stumbles over his words when Phil finally meets his gaze. “Not that we’re actually, like… you know,” he mutters quietly, so the other people around them don’t hear. “But she doesn’t know that we’re not, and I personally don’t like homewreckers.” It’s a half-assed explanation, and one that leaves him feeling a little too vulnerable and red in the face, but Phil seems to accept it.

“Oh,” Phil says slowly, seeming to process this information. “So, you were just playing the good fiancé bit.” He grins then, as if this is amusing to him. “That’s actually really cute, Dan.”

Dan flushes even darker, rolling his eyes before shoving a forkful of salad into his mouth. “Don’t,” he mutters, clearly embarrassed.

Phil coos, and Dan squashes his foot gently under the table. “No, I get it, actually. Like if we’re going to pretend, it’s kind of silly not to pretend to the people who couldn’t possibly know who we are or why we’re pretending.”

It takes Dan a moment to process it, but when he does he nods, then shrugs. “I guess.” Feeling increasingly awkward with the conversation, he moves on. “So, anything interesting happen at work today?” he asks, desperate for a distraction.

He allows Phil to carry the rest of their conversation with dramatic stories about his day at work, interesting in a way that only Phil could manage to make them. Dan props his chin onto his hand, watching Phil speak with a small smile on his face. It felt like it had been ages since they’d spoken like this, just the two of them, about ordinary every day life. It was refreshing.

“Are you even listening to me?” Phil suddenly asks, his lips in a pout as he crosses his arms, clearly unimpressed.

Startled at having been caught out, Dan nods quickly. “Yeah, of course.”

Phil narrows his eyes. “Why d’you keep staring at me? Have I got something on my face?” He wipes his mouth self-consciously, and Dan can’t help but giggle at that.

“No, you haven’t got something on your face, you spoon.” Phil glares at him, but Dan only smiles. “I’ve missed you.”

Phil looks confused. “We live together, mate, we’re almost never apart,” he says with an awkward sounding laugh.

Dan shrugs. “I know, but it’s different when we’re at home, since there we always have to be on parenting duty.” He realizes how that sounds and is quick to rephrase. “Not that I don’t love the kids, or our life with them! It’s just… I don’t know, it’s nice to just hang out, just the two of us. It’s nostalgic.”

There’s a soft look on Phil’s face, and he doesn’t speak for a long time. When he does, he sounds a little hoarse. “I’ve missed you too, bear.”

Dan ducks his head at the nickname, his face hot. He sips from his drink, allowing himself to pretend, just for a moment, that this is something different. It’s dangerous, that, but he’s just selfish enough that he allows it for just a moment.

Eventually, they finish their lunches and they both have to leave for work. Dan tucks his hands into his pockets as they walk outside, the slight breeze feeling comfortable rather than too chilly.

“I’ll drive you back to work,” he tells Phil, nodding to his car.

“I can call a cab, it’s fine,” Phil shrugs his offer off.

Dan rolls his eyes at this. “Nah, come on, I’m going to take you to work like the great fiancé I am.”

Phil snickers, walking over to the passenger side of the car in defeat. “I want it to go on the record that you said that, not me.”

Dan nods seriously as he climbs into the car and starts the ignition. Leaning closer to the radio, he talks loudly. “Hear that, government? Phil said I was a great fiancé.”

“Dan!” Phil laughs.

Snickering, Dan buckles his seatbelt. “Come on, Phil, the government isn’t going to care that you think I’m a great fiancé,” He says the last part loudly, earning him a playfully shove from Phil. “Babuse!” He screeches through a laugh. “You can’t be mean to the one driving, we could have an accident and be killed to death!”

“Oh yeah, I hate being killed to death,” Phil taunts.

Dan glares at him. “I’ll kill you to death,” he threatens, eyes narrowed playfully.

Phil giggles, and they continue teasing each other until Dan pulls up in front of the BBC office where Phil works. “Thank you for the ride,” Phil says sincerely, grabbing his phone and gripping the door handle. His eyes flicker up, and his face falls as they catch on something. He pauses before opening the door, and Dan’s eyebrows furrow as he looks around curiously.

“What is it?” He asks. “Is something- oh.” He finally realizes what has Phil nervous now, spotting PJ and Chris outside the building, close enough that they’ve noticed Dan and Phil in the car. They smirk and wave, causing Dan to roll his eyes.

“They’re going to give me shit,” Phil mutters quietly.

Dan narrows his eyes at them before leaning closer to Phil curiously. “About what? Being gay? They knew you were gay, so do they just give you shit because they think you’re with me?” He can hear the confusion in his own voice.

Phil shakes his head with a sigh. “No, they’re always talking about- don’t be mad, alright?”

The fact that Phil felt the need to interrupt himself to say that isn’t boding well for his friends, but Dan just nods uncertainly. “Okay.”

Phil sighs, staring down at his hands. “When I told them about it, they didn’t really… well they didn’t really believe me at first? They said they thought that… God, you’re going to hate this.”

“What did they say?” Dan deadpans. If whatever they said about Phil bothers him this much, he’s quite willing to exchange some unfriendly words with them so they don’t say it again.

“They said they were surprised that you’d be interested in… well, me, actually.” He says it so quietly that Dan almost isn’t sure he’s heard him right.

“Wait, what? Did they think I was straight?” Now he’s confused, because very rarely were there people he met who thought he was entirely straight, even before this whole fake relationship thing happened.

“No,” Phil shakes his head. “They just… They kind of implied that you, well…” He laughs then, but it’s a bitter sound and lacks the usual happiness his laughs are usually full of. “They basically said they thought you had better taste than me.”

Dan stares at him in surprise, having not expected that. “What the fuck?” He says eloquently, his gaze darting over to the building, where the two of them are still standing, pretending they aren’t watching. “Who the fuck- they don’t get to decide who I’m into,” he protests. He realizes suddenly that he’s not defending something real, so he doesn’t need to be so defensive. But then he glances over at Phil, and the way he seems so torn up about it just tears at his heart. “Fuck them, okay? Phil? Listen, they’re just talking bullshit. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”

Phil shrugs, as if it doesn’t bother him as much as it clearly does. “Are they wrong thought? I mean- it’s fine, obviously,” he laughs again, but it’s hollow, even when he looks up and smiles at Dan.

“Excuse me?” Dan’s hands find Phil’s, and he plays with the older man’s fingers for a moment, but Phil is avoiding Dan’s eyes like the plague. “Phil Lester. You are a brilliant, incredible friend, and a beautiful person. Honestly, Phil, you’re out of my league.”

Phil is still looking hollowly in the direction of his coworkers. “You think so?” He asks absently, disbelievingly.

Dan is having an idea. A stupid idea, no doubt, but before he knows it, his body is already enacting the plan. “Don’t be weird about this, please,” he pleads, holding eye contact with Phil as he leans closer.

“About- Dan?” Phil sounds almost alarmed as Dan reaches a hand up to gently cup his jaw.

“Please don’t freak out,” Dan says quietly, almost a whisper as he presses forward.

And obviously, he isn’t about to kiss his platonic best friend for real, so instead he presses his lips just to the corner of Phil’s mouth, just close enough so that PJ and Chris won’t know the difference from how far away they’re standing. Phil seems to catch on to what he’s doing, and quickly brings a hand up to Dan’s jaw, effectively making it seem more realistic. Phil’s lips are parted slightly in surprise, and Dan can feel the warmth of his breath against his face, almost straight into his own mouth, but not quite. He doesn’t linger long, only long enough to become flushed with how intimate this feels, pulling away and dropping his hand after a couple of seconds.

“They saw,” he confirms for himself and for Phil, glancing at them from the corner of his eye. He doesn’t bother gauging their reaction to it, instead focusing his eyes on Phil. “I’m sorry, I should have asked, or explained, but-“

Phil cuts him off then. “It’s fine- I mean. Yeah. It’s fine.” Dan’s not convinced, but Phil’s eyes have a kind of steel to them that he doesn’t want to argue with.

Dan nods, reaching a hand up to brush Phil’s hair back. “Hopefully they’ll fuck off and leave you alone about it now.”

Something flits across Phil’s face then, almost a moment of hurt, but it’s gone in the next blink, so Dan convinces himself that he must have imagined it. “Thank you, Dan.” He sounds oddly stiff. “That was really- er, nice of you to do.” Then he sighs and glances at the clock. “I should go, you need to get back to the school.”

Dan nods silently, and watches as Phil opens the door and climbs out of the car. “I’ll see you at home,” he calls, watching as Phil only nods and waves before walking towards his building.

Mentally cursing himself for the weird position he’s put them in, Dan pulls out of the parking lot, hoping that he didn’t just fuck up all the progress they’d made together.

~~~

When Dan gets back to the school, he’s barely had a chance to sit down in his chair before his phone is ringing obnoxiously. He sighs but pulls it out of his pocket, feeling aggravated, but his exasperation is wiped away when he reads the caller ID and sees Hazel’s name. Without missing a beat, he swipes across the screen to answer the call.

“Hazel, thanks for calling me back,” he greets with no preamble.

“Hi, Dan,” she replies, sounding a little wary.

His stomach sinks, and he already knows it’s going to be bad news. He swallows hard around the lump forming in his throat, lowering his voice as he speaks. “So, what did you find out?” He asks quietly.

She sighs. “You’re really going to hate this, Dan.” It sounds like a warning and an apology all rolled into one. Dan already hates it.

“I just want to know, Hazel. I don’t like this prolonging thing.”

Hazel seems to take a deep breath, as if bracing herself. “He’s their brother, you were right about that.”

For some reason, this doesn’t fill him with the relief he thought it would. “And?”

The line is quiet for a moment. “He’s in a group home.”

Dan really didn’t feel like he could be more shocked and broken hearted for this family, but he was apparently wrong. He can feel his throat closing up as he processes the words. “What?” He almost hopes she’s joking. It wouldn’t be funny, but he just doesn’t want the thing she just said to be true.

“I’m so sorry, Dan. I know that’s a lot to take in, but… Apparently he was a little violent, after the authorities were told about their situation at home.”

“Well obviously,” Dan almost spits venom at her through the phone. “His family was being torn apart.”

Hazel sighs. “Dan, look, they typically put older children into group homes if they don’t think they’re stable enough to be with a foster family. There’s probably a reason-“

“Can we foster him?” Dan interrupts her, not even waiting to process what she was trying to tell him.

She splutters at this. “Sorry, what?”

“Can Phil and I foster him?” He repeats calmly. “We’re already fostering his siblings, and I don’t feel comfortable knowing that they’ve been split apart.”

“Dan,” She says softly, as if she’s delivering bad news to a child.

He’s not a child.

“I know, they usually only put dangerous kids into group homes, or kids with disorders or habits that they think are almost juvenile detention worthy but not quite. I get it. I did my research on all this months ago, Hazel.” He pauses, trying to soften his voice. “I just don’t want to keep them separated if there’s any way we could foster him.”

Hazel is silent for a long time. Dan almost starts to think that he’s lost connection, but then she speaks again. “I’ll look into it. I’ll have to make some calls, and try to pull some strings, but…” She trails off, and Dan’s heart speeds up with hope for her words. “I think if anyone could help heal this family, it’s you and Phil.”

Dan’s heart drops at the mention of his fake other half, who doesn’t even know what he’s doing right now. He has no idea that Dan reached out to Hazel for this, and suddenly Dan can feel his stomach churning anxiously, knowing how offended Phil will probably be when he finds out about this.

Instead of revealing that to Hazel, though, Dan only chokes out some vague form of thanks before allowing her to hang up.

Immediately, he knows he needs to call Phil and tell him what he’d just done. He would likely be mad and would probably have an attitude when he got home later, but Dan prayed that he was wrong, that Phil would understand why he was doing it.

Dan chews on his bottom lip as he goes to his messages, remembering the last time he’d called Phil when he was at work without texting first, and the shitstorm that followed. There likely wouldn’t be a repeat of that today, but Dan wanted to be cautious, since this was more of a sensitive matter.

Dan: you busy?

Phil: Nah. Doing paperwork

Phil: What’s up?

Dan: can i call?

Phil: Sure.

Dan waits patiently for Phil to pick up, chewing away at his lip hard enough to break the skin. He’s surprised he hasn’t already. When Phil answers, he sounds only slightly off, which is better than what he seemed to be when Dan dropped him off at work earlier. But he’s not thinking about that right now, he’s decided, so he quickly averts his thoughts to what he actually called for.

“Dan? Are you ever going to say anything, or did you just call to breathe into the phone like a weirdo?” Phil asks, sounding amused but definitely concerned.

“I did a thing, and you’re going to be cross with me for it,” Dan announces, not beating around the bush at all.

Phil pauses then and seems to reconsider his playful tone. “Okay…” He says slowly, cautiously. “What did you do?” He asks, not sounding angry yet, just… wary.

Dan takes a few deep breaths, bracing himself for what he figures is probably going to turn into a fight. “I called Hazel about Levi.”

The line is completely silent. Dan hates it.

He stays quiet for as long as he dares, but when ten seconds turns into sixty, and a minute turns to two, he can’t help but burst. “Please say something,” he begs.

Phil clears his throat. “Without telling me?” He doesn’t need to remind Dan what they’re talking about.

“I’m sorry, I just- I couldn’t-“

He’s cut off by Phil speaking again. “I know, you just make the important decisions yourself and hope that I don’t care because it’s just like a game of house or something, right? It doesn’t have any real consequence, does it?” He taunts, his voice bitter in a way that Dan is unfamiliar with.

“No,” he protests weakly. “I didn’t make any decisions; I just wanted more infor--“

“So, you knew I didn’t feel comfortable talking to Hazel about it yet, and you still did it.” It’s not even a question.

Dan’s throat feels tight and he feels like his organs are squeezing their way up into his lungs. It’s uncomfortable in the worst ways, but he doesn’t know how to settle it. “I’m sorry, but it was important to me and I-”

Phil sighs. “I know. You’re always sorry.” He sounds exhausted, and his words make Dan’s stomach sink even further. They’re quiet for a moment, as Dan has no real rebuttal for that, but eventually Phil sighs again, ending the awkwardness. “I need to go, I have a conference call at two.”

“Oh… Okay. Yeah. Um, go ahead.” Dan feels the regret deep in his bones, and he knows it’ll likely only be worse once he’s hung up.

“I’d say something funny, but I’m honestly a bit annoyed right now,” Phil tells him, his voice carrying the hurt tone of his voice over the phone in a way Dan really wished it wouldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” Dan mumbles again, his vocabulary seemingly erased of everything else except for that sentiment.

“I know,” Phil sighs. “I-“ he stops himself. “Drive home safely. Don’t forget to wear your seatbelt.” Is what he says finally.

Even in a fight, he makes sure he reminds Dan to stay safe. Somehow, that realization hits him like a punch to the gut, and he lays his head on his desk, trying to breathe.

“I will,” he says tightly. He feels a buildup of emotion in his chest, but he can’t grasp the right words to convey what he’s feeling. “Thank you. I’ll see you at home.”

“Yeah. Bye, Dan.”

The line cuts off with a click, and Dan feels the guilt set in, heavy and dark, and he knows that the rest of the day is going to drag in a way it normally doesn’t.

~~~

The rest of the day passes by in a slow haze, and Dan really doesn’t feel that he’s gotten anything done by the time he leaves to pick up the twins from school. He stands outside of the primary school with some of the other parents, his hands tucked into his pockets as he waits for the kids to come outside. The twins look around anxiously as soon as they’re out of the building, and Dan waves to them, forcing a smile he doesn’t feel onto his face. They immediately start running towards him, and the smile turns into something more genuine as they both crash into his legs.

“Hey, kiddos. How was your day?” He asks, petting both of their heads affectionately as he leads them to the car.

“We had so much fun! They let us watch a film about the animal kingdom, and-“ Amelia explains excitedly.

She’s cut off by Jaiden, who tugs on Dan’s hand. “We learned all about the food chain!”

“Wow! You’ll have to tell me all about it on the way home, yeah?” Dan opens the back door on the driver’s side, allowing both of them to climb in.

They chatter the whole way home, telling Dan all about predators and prey and the differences between herbivores and omnivores. He tries to listen and not let his mind wander, but if they notice that he’s a little more distracted than usual, they don’t tell him.

As soon as they’re home, he sends them into the kitchen to sit at the dining table and do their homework, which turns out to be a worksheet about the film they’d watched. Between the two of them, they retained enough information to not really need Dan’s help at all, which he thinks is probably a good thing, as he doesn’t feel like he’d really be able to focus on it anyway. When they’re finished, they’re free to do whatever they want, and they both end up upstairs playing, which is almost a relief for Dan and his swirling thoughts.

He’s right about Phil being in a mood when he gets home. Not that he’d actually expected anything else, but Dan’s stomach sinks uncomfortably when Phil comes in and it’s clear that he’s still cross with him. Dan is standing in the kitchen and looking for something to make for dinner when he hears the door open, and he tries not to turn around as he listens to Phil’s footsteps carrying him into the kitchen. There’s the sound of a bag setting on the table, and Dan can’t help but glance over.

Phil isn’t looking at him, his eyes cast on his laptop bag as he rifles through it, pulling out a folder and setting it on the table. He must feel Dan’s eyes on him, because he looks up then, his blue eyes swimming with something that Dan thinks looks an awful lot like hurt.

“Hey,” he says softly.

Phil shakes his head, grabbing his bag and setting it off to the side as he normally does, holding the folder tightly in one hand. “I can’t talk to you right now.”

“Phil, I-“

“No, Dan.” Phil settles him with a hard stare. “Not right now,” Phil says, almost pleading.

Dan swallows hard around the lump in his throat before nodding. If Phil needed space, that’s what he would give him, even if it killed him on the inside to do it. “Okay,” he whispers.

Phil nods too, then, before going to the office. He doesn’t even give Dan a second look as he goes, which hurts more than Dan wants to admit.

Rather than drive himself crazy dwelling on it, he goes upstairs to ask the twins if they want to help with dinner. Naturally, being children, they do, so he leads them back to the kitchen and explains that they can make fajitas or spaghetti. They both vote for fajitas, surprisingly, and Dan has a moment of thanking whatever greater power there is that the kids they foster aren’t picky.

“Okay, so we’re going to start with the peppers and onions first. I’ll cut them up and let you guys put them in the pan, okay? Carefully. It’s very hot.” Dan stresses the word, already mildly anxious at the sight of his kids so close to the stove.

The children are surprisingly helpful, although several times Dan finds himself cringing with worry when they get a little too close to the sizzling pan or something. He manages to prevent them from maiming themselves, and eventually he’s letting them set out the other condiments and plates on the table. He feels his stomach churn nervously, well aware that now he’ll have to go tell Phil that dinner is ready, and without the task of cooking to distract him, he’ll be left to do nothing but worry about the conversation they’ll likely be having later.

He takes the coward’s way out, asking Mia if she’d go fetch Phil for dinner so he doesn’t have to do it himself. The six-year-old is all too willing to do it, skipping over to the office door, completely carefree. Dan can vaguely hear the sound of her voice as she tells Phil that dinner is ready, and he doesn’t hear anything but the low rumble of Phil’s voice in response.

A few moments later, Amelia returns to the kitchen, sitting beside her brother at the table. They start talking, but Dan’s barely listening to the words they’re saying, more focused on the sound of footsteps approaching. He tries to act busy, stirring the fajita mix in the pan as if he’s not already finished with it.

The footsteps stop right next to him, and Dan nearly flinches when he feels a hand fall on his hip. He barely glances up at Phil and finds a softer expression on his face than what had been there before. Phil reaches over with the hand not on Dan and takes the glass of Ribena Dan had been sipping from and takes a swig.

Dan refuses the urge to roll his eyes and glances back at the food. “Still cross?” He asks quietly, bitterly.

Phil looks over at him, shaking his head. “No,” he says gently. His eyes flit over to the twins momentarily before they settle back on Dan. “Can we talk later?”

Surprised, Dan nods. “Of course.”

Phil smiles before leaning in, surprising Dan even more by pressing a kiss to his temple. “I’m sorry I was mean earlier.”

Dan shrugs, staring down at the food rather than responding to that. He didn’t trust his voice not to waver right now, and he knew there was a time and place to discuss their disagreement, but it wasn’t here and now. “Okay,” he replies quietly.

He catches a glimpse of the frown on Phil’s face, and he tries to not take responsibility for it. Phil seems to shake it off, though, squeezing Dan’s hip before letting go and stepping away, moving to grab some plates from the cupboard. “So, who wants to tell me what you learned at school today?” He asks, grinning at the twins as he sets their plates out in front of them.

Amelia and Jaiden immediately start talking over each other, and between the two of them, Phil seems to understand the gist of what they learned about the food chain and such. He smiles broadly at them, nodding along as he moves to refill their drinks. Dan tries not to watch him, but it’s sort of intriguing to see him in parenting mode like this, and so Dan really can’t help it.

After setting the table with the tortillas and everything else they would need, Phil comes back over to stand beside Dan, pointing down to the pan. “That about done?” He asks.

Dan nods mutely, nudging the handle over for Phil to grab, handing him a potholder to set it on to avoid scorching the table. “Careful,” he warns.

Phil nods, carefully setting it on the table. “Alright, you guys get to pick what you want in your fajita and I’ll scoop it into the tortillas, okay? Amelia, what do you want?”

Dan moves over to make a plate for Jaiden while Phil works on Amelia’s, letting him point out what he wants. “You don’t want onions, right?” He asks, already shoving some of them out of the way so he doesn’t get any on Jaiden’s plate. The six-year-old insists that he can eat them, but he never does if they’re on his plate, and Dan refuses to make him eat something he doesn’t want.

Jaiden shakes his head just as Phil says, “They’re good for you, Jai-bird.” Dan shoots him a look, and he quickly reevaluates his words. “But you don’t have to eat them if you don’t want to.”

“Do I have to eat onions?” Amelia asks then, moving to sit up on her knees rather than on her bum.

“No, but you do have to sit down correctly,” Dan chastises, raising his eyebrows at her.

She grins sheepishly before moving to sit correctly in her chair. “I forgot,” She explains.

Dan smiles at her knowingly before handing her brother his plate. “I know.” After settling back in his seat, he makes his own plate, watching Phil as he does the same, making a mess with his shaking hands. “Hold the plate over the pan and you won’t spill it all over the table,” Dan says, rolling his eyes.

Phil glances at him, opening his mouth to respond before apparently thinking better of it. His mouth snaps closed and forms a straight line, and Dan can tell he’s holding back a comment that would likely start an argument. The plate is slightly shaking in his left hand, and Dan notices the way his grip tightens on the spoon in his right hand, trying to steady it.

Feeling guilty for being rude, Dan reaches over and gently tugs the plate and spoon away from Phil, filling his plate quickly and neatly before handing it back. “Here,” he says softly.

There’s an odd look on Phil’s face, but he takes the plate anyway. “Thank you,” he mumbles, looking almost embarrassed.

Dan only nods, reaching for his Ribena and taking a sip. Glancing over again, he realizes Phil doesn’t have a drink, and almost unthinkingly he stands and moves to the cupboard to grab a glass. “Do you want Ribena or something else?” He asks, opening the door to the refrigerator and hovering as he waits for Phil’s response.

Phil glances over at him, looking a little surprised. “Oh, um, Ribena’s fine.”

Nodding, Dan pours his drink, humming under his breath as he does. “Here,” he says, handing Phil the glass as he moves back to the table.

“Thanks,” Phil replies.

They eat in relative silence, aside from the children chattering and occasionally asking Dan and Phil questions about the things they learned at school. Dan knows that the tension between them is probably what’s keeping the conversation so scarce, as generally the animal kingdom is a subject Phil would be all too engrossed in. It makes him feel guilty, and he eventually loses his appetite, only pushing the food around his plate with his fork quietly.

When the kids are finished they ask if they can go upstairs and watch Netflix. As soon as Phil gives the okay, they rush out of the kitchen, bickering about what to watch the whole way. Phil stands too, gathering their plates up to take them to the sink. He looks over at Dan, and a concerned frown etches itself out on his lips. He drops the dishes into the sink before walking back over to the table and dropping a hand to Dan’s forehead.

“Are you alright?” He asks quietly.

Dan nods, pushing his plate away. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Phil’s frown deepens, and he drops his hand, looking at Dan’s plate in concern. “You didn’t eat very much,” he comments.

Dan shrugs. “Not hungry,” he mumbles, tracing shapes onto the table with the condensation dripping off his glass.

“Oh… Do you need to go lay down? I can watch the kids, if you want to go to bed early,” Phil suggests, his hand coming up to stroke Dan’s shoulder blades gently.

“Can you quit pretending we aren’t fighting?” Dan suddenly bursts, unable to keep the anger out of his voice.

Phil draws his hand back like he’s been burnt, a shocked look on his face. “What?” He asks, as if he doesn’t already know.

Dan rolls his eyes. “I know you’re pissed at me for calling Hazel without telling you. I’d rather you just be angry with me rather than pretending you care that I don’t feel well.”

Phil’s expression shifts from confused to surprised. “Excuse me?” He snaps. “I’m not pretending to care Dan. I’m worried about you because you’re acting like you’re ill, and that’s my first priority, not some stupid fucking argument.” The swear surprises Dan a little, enough that he realizes how serious Phil is.

“Well, I’m fine,” Dan mutters, moving to stand. “I’m just tired of you being mad at me.” His voice is smaller than he had intended, but he can’t swallow the words now.

Phil follows him, running a hand down his arm. “I’m not mad anymore. And I’m sorry.”

Dan tries not to sniff as he runs water over the dishes, refusing to meet Phil’s gaze. “For what?” He asks petulantly.

There’s a sigh, and then he feels Phil’s arms wrapping around his waist from behind. He tries not to shiver when he feels his breath against his neck. “For being a dick. And for ignoring you instead of having a real conversation about it like an adult.”

The water is hitting the dishes, not really accomplishing anything, and Dan slowly twists the knob to turn it off, staring at the stream as it disappears. “It really hurts me when you do that, you know,” Dan whispers. “I know you… I think you don’t mean to, but I hate when you ignore me like that. It…” He trails off again, swallowing hard.

Phil squeezes him tightly, and Dan feels his lips pressing against the side of his head, the pressure feeling grounding. “I know. I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I don’t want to hurt you, ever. And I shouldn’t have said what I did, about you doing things without telling me and not caring. I know you care, you care so much about those kids, you just want what’s best for them, and I know that.”

Dan turns the water back on, hot, and places his hand under the stream, allowing it to run over his fingers, hot enough to burn a little. “I want what’s best for you too,” he mumbles, the words easier to say when he isn’t looking at Phil.

His hand is pulled away from the stream of water by Phil’s gentle grip, the same hand pulling away to turn the tap off. “I know,” he whispers. Before Dan can think to protest, Phil steps away and tugs Dan’s arm to turn him around. Dan immediately drops his gaze, but Phil only steps closer, tugging him into a proper embrace. Dan’s arms move to wrap around Phil’s neck, burying his face in his shoulder as he feels his eyes begin leaking the emotion he feels eating away at him.

“Do you really think I try to control everything without asking you?” Dan asks, unable to help himself.

Phil squeezes him tighter, and Dan can feel him shaking his head. “No, not at all,” He says firmly. “I think you just take charge and make the hard decisions that I’m scared to make, and sometimes that overwhelms me because I’m afraid of what’s going to happen,” Phil whispers, almost too quiet for Dan to even process his words.

Dan pulls away enough to study Phil’s face. “I’m sorry,” he whispers back. “I don’t do that with the intentions of hurting you.”

Phil gently pets Dan’s curls, studying him with a soft look. “I know,” he replies with a nod. “And you couldn’t know how much it affected me, because I’d never told you.”

Settling his head back on Phil’s shoulder, Dan tries to ignore the racing of his heart as he formulates a response. “I think we need to talk more. Like we could have avoided this if we were better at communication, but apparently we suck at it.”

“Hey,” Phil says lightly, gently tugging Dan’s hair to pull him back enough to look at his face. “We don’t suck at it. It’s just different when we’re not the only people in the equation. We have two, maybe three, other people to think about now, and that changes things. We’re doing the best we can, yeah?”

Dan nods, his heart swelling at the reassurance that they don’t suck at the parenting thing, that they’re trying their best. And… maybe three. “Yeah,” he replies quietly.

Phil smiles and presses a kiss to Dan’s cheek then, causing the younger man to blush when he pulls away. “We can talk more about the Levi situation later, alright? I think for now we need to go upstairs and watch an animated movie we’ve seen a hundred times and have a cuddle.”

“That sounds amazing, actually,” Dan says, laughing wetly. He hadn’t realized that the tears were still steadily falling, but Phil’s hand comes up to wipe them away gently.

“C’mon, bear. We can use your fuzzy blanket and turn the lights out and everything.”

“Hot chocolate?” Dan asks, his voice small.

Phil smiles at him warmly. “Yes, I’ll make you some hot chocolate. Why don’t you go upstairs and ask the kids if they’d like any as well?”

Dan nods and pulls away, feeling colder when he’s no longer wrapped up in the warmth of Phil’s hug. He shoves that feeling away, giving Phil one last look before making his way upstairs to where the twins are still arguing about the movie. Of course, they want hot chocolate as well, and he tells them to decide on a movie while he goes to help Phil carry the drinks upstairs.

When he gets downstairs, Phil is moving around the kitchen, four mugs already placed on the counter. He glances up at Dan when he walks in, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

“They want some, too,” Dan tells him with a nod. “With marshmallows,” he adds, moving to the cupboard to get the bag of mini marshmallows that they kept in there. He watches Phil as he pours the chocolate powder into the mugs, carefully spooning it out so none of it spills over the sides. His hands are steadier than before, and Dan wonders if it’s because most of the anxiety about their argument has been relieved. He hopes it has.

The kettle beeps, and Phil jumps a little in surprise, glancing over at Dan with a sheepish smile before moving to pour the water into the mugs. “Did you want some snacks? Since you didn’t eat very much at dinner?” Phil asks, carefully tipping the kettle over the mugs, his tongue poking out slightly in concentration.

Dan shakes his head before realizing Phil can’t see him. “I don’t want any snacks. Phil?” He calls quietly. Phil glances up at him, quirking an eyebrow. “Are we okay?” He asks, his stomach swirling with nerves.

The older man smiles at him, a soft look on his face. “We’re okay,” he reassures Dan.

Nodding, Dan opens the bag of marshmallows and begins dropping them into the mugs, adding six to one of the mugs and three to the rest. When Phil places the kettle back, he moves to carry two of the mugs, a curious look on his face when he sees all the marshmallows floating in the one in Dan’s left hand. At his expression, Dan shrugs and turns to walk upstairs. “That one’s yours,” he says in lieu of an explanation.

He hears a soft laugh behind him as they make their way upstairs. “Do you want to make a whole thing out of this? Go put on some comfy pajamas and have a proper movie night with the kids?” He asks quietly as they get to the lounge.

Dan feels like that’s exactly what they all need tonight. “Absolutely. Hey, guys, why don’t you go ahead and go put your pjs on, and we’ll have a movie night?”

The twins chorus their agreement before rushing down the stairs, Phil’s call to be careful echoing after them. “They’re such good kids,” he says, almost to himself, as he places the mugs he’s carrying onto the coffee table beside the others.

Dan nods his agreement before moving to follow the kids downstairs, Phil following behind him. “They really are,” he agrees, even as he hears them bickering when he walks into his bedroom. He rifles through the dresser to find a t-shirt and some sweatpants, finding his Game of Thrones sweats and an old shirt of Phil’s. He tugs his shirt off and replaces it, glancing over to find Phil doing the same, having dug an old T-shirt out of the closet.

Something catches Dan’s eye and he points to it before Phil can drag the closet door shut. “Can I wear that?” He asks, gesturing to the offending bright green fabric.

Phil frowns, almost to himself, as he stares into the closet, probably trying to figure out what it is Dan wants. When it dawns on him, he looks surprised. “My York hoodie?”

“Yeah,” Dan nods, chewing on his lip as he waits for Phil’s response.

His eyebrows are furrowed as he reaches for the fabric, pulling it off the hanger carefully. “You haven’t wanted to wear this in years,” he observes, handing it over to Dan with what the younger man recognizes as a concerned expression.

Shrugging, Dan pulls the fabric over his head and tugs it down, the smell of Phil nearly overwhelming him. “It’s just comfy,” he says defensively.

Phil quirks an eyebrow at him. “Comfier than your Manchester hoodie, or the Yeezy sweater?”

Dan crinkles his nose. “I don’t know where my Manchester hoodie is, and you hate my Yeezy one.”

There’s a smirk on Phil’s lips as he begins tugging his jeans off, and Dan quickly turns around to do the same. “That’s because it’s ugly,” Phil teases.

Tugging his sweatpants up his legs, Dan turns to give him a look. “It cost more than one of your paychecks,” he deadpans.

Phil quirks an eyebrow at him as he pulls his pajama bottoms on, a smirk on his lips. “I know. I bought it, remember?”

Dan flushes. He did, in fact, remember that. He’d looked at the sweater for several weeks and whined about how expensive it was more than once. Then one day last fall, Phil showed up at Dan’s with a bag, and in it was the sweater. Dan had been so happy, and even now he finds himself smiling softly at the memory.

“Yeah, well…” Dan trails off awkwardly, not sure what to say as he makes his way up the stairs. “Shut up about it, if you thought it was so ugly you shouldn’t have bought it for me.”

The older man shrugs. “You liked it,” he replies, as if that explains it away completely. Dan feels a warmth flood into his chest at the comment, and he’s just about to say something sweet in response when Phil continues. “It still makes you look like a sack of potatoes, though,” he teases, following Dan over to the sofa.

In response to Phil’s comment, Dan huffs as he settles on the sofa, grabbing his fluffy blanket and holding it out for Phil to settle under. “I better get the best damn cuddles in the world since you’re making fun of me,” he demands.

Phil giggles at this, handing Dan his hot chocolate and grabbing his own before settling onto the sofa. He shifts so that his left arm is thrown across the back of the sofa, allowing Dan to snuggle against his side. “I’m sorry, I’ll be nice, I swear.” He’s smiling as he says it, but Dan can tell how pleased he is with himself.

“You’d better,” Dan mumbles, leaning into Phil’s side and making himself comfy. His head is resting on Phil’s shoulder and he has the impulsive desire to press his lips to some part of him. Since they’re having a whole cuddly night anyway, he does just that, subtly pressing his lips to the fabric covering Phil’s shoulder.

Phil tilts his head to look at Dan, and they maintain eye contact for several seconds, but Dan breaks it, looking away when he feels his stomach twisting under Phil’s steady gaze. There’s a soft laugh, and then he feels Phil press a kiss to the curls on his head. “I forgot how cute you look in my hoodie,” he mumbles.

“Yeah?” Dan murmurs back, feeling his heart swell with warmth.

“Yeah,” Phil replies. Whatever he might’ve said next is cut off by the sound of feet thundering up the stairs. Dan nudges Phil to reprimand them, having retired from being the strict parent for the evening. “Guys, we don’t run up the stairs, remember? You could fall and get hurt!”

There’s a pause in the stampede, and when it resumes it’s at a much calmer pace. Dan smiles at the twins as they come into view. “Did you two finally decide on a movie?” He asks with a quirked eyebrow.

“We wanna watch Zootopia!” Amelia announces, coming over to sit next to Dan on the couch.

He glances over at Jaiden, who’s frowning. “That okay with you too, bub?”

Jaiden nods and then points to where Amelia is sitting. “I wanted to sit beside you.”

Dan tries not to smile, but he can’t help it. “C’mere, you can sit in my lap,” he instructs, moving the blanket to allow Jaiden to crawl under and get comfy.

“I want under the covers!” Amelia protests with a pout.

Phil laughs. “Come over here, Mia, you can sit with me.”

Amelia’s face lights up and she quickly hops off the sofa and moves over to Phil, waiting for him to lift the blanket before she crawls onto his lap, settling herself there. Dan figures it’s going to be a pain handing them their hot chocolate when they want to drink it but seeing the happiness on their little faces makes it worth it already. He smiles to himself as he leans forward and grabs the remote, starting the movie.

When he leans back, he makes sure the blanket is tucked around Jaiden enough, struggling to keep it up on his own shoulder. “Here,” Phil whispers, grabbing the corner and tucking it behind Dan’s shoulder neatly. He leaves his arm across the back of the sofa, where his hand can stay pressed against Dan’s shoulder comfortingly. Dan not so subtly shifts so that he’s leaning against Phil’s side, dropping his head back onto his shoulder like before.

The new position results in Phil moving his hand to instead settle in Dan’s hair, petting gently through the curls as the movie begins. Dan feels a warmth in his chest, his eyes moving between the twins as he thinks about how grateful he feels for this life. This life where they could help these children feel safe and loved, in the home they shared. He feels a bit emotional about it all of a sudden, and he swallows hard and tries to focus on the movie so that he doesn’t do something silly like cry.

The twins chatter about the movie quietly, and Dan stays quiet, allowing Phil to remind them to be quiet and watch when they get too rowdy. Eventually they shift and move around to get their drinks and at some point, Jaiden decides he no longer wants to be held and moves to sit beside Dan instead, claiming he isn’t cold. Dan still drapes part of the blanket over his lap, just to be on the safe side.

Amelia falls asleep halfway into the movie, and Phil gently stands, cradling her in his arms to tote her downstairs to bed. “I’ll be right back up, love,” he says to Dan as he makes his way downstairs.

Dan nods silently, watching as Phil carefully carries their foster daughter. He really is such a great dad, and the thought pierces Dan’s heart in a way he really wishes it wouldn’t. He’s almost too wrapped up in his thoughts to hear Jaiden speaking.

“Are we going to finish this without Mia?” He asks.

“We can if you want to. It’s only a little after eight, you can stay up to finish it if you want.” Dan says with a shrug.

Jaiden chews on his lip but nods and moves to finish off his hot chocolate. “Okay. We can finish it.”

Dan smiles at him. “Alright, bub.”

Phil finally comes back upstairs then, running a hand through his hair. Dan holds the blanket up as he sits down, throwing it back over his lap once he’s settled on the sofa. His arm immediately comes up to wrap around Dan, no hesitation at all in the movement.

“We finishing the movie?” He asks.

Jaiden nods. “Just don’t tell Mia.”

Phil laughs but shrugs. “My lips are sealed.” He mimics zipping his lips and throwing away the key, causing Jaiden to giggle at the silly gesture.

Dan rolls his eyes and snuggles up to him, tucking his hands in the pocket of his York hoodie. A thought occurs to him when he sees Phil run a hand through his hair and he tilts his head back and studies it, reaching a hand out to touch the black strands gently. Phil glances at him with an eyebrow raised questioningly.

“Your hair is getting long,” he observes.

Phil smiles. “Yours too,” he nods, lifting a hand to tug through Dan’s curls as if to prove his point.

“We need to go get it cut again soon. Jai too,” he adds, glancing over at the boy, who isn’t paying them any attention.

“Yeah. Probably need to dye mine again once I’ve cut it.” Phil replies, his hand falling from Dan’s hair to rest on the back of his neck.

Dan crinkles his nose at this suggestion. “I think you shouldn’t.”

Phil stares at him in surprise. “Cut it or dye it?”

“Dye it. Definitely needs a trim, but I don’t want you to color it.” He knows realistically that he has no jurisdiction over this, especially given the fact that their current relationship is a fake one, but he has grown rather attached to the idea of a Phil who has more of a natural hair color, peppered in with some grey hairs that prove how much life he’s lived.

Phil frowns as if he’s considering it. “I dunno. Look a bit old, wouldn’t I?”

Dan rolls his eyes. “No, you’d look fine.” He suddenly feels a little awkward for suggesting it at all. “Do what you want, I just thought you might want to do something different.” His gaze is on the TV now, as he’s unwilling to meet Phil’s eyes.

There’s a hum, and Phil gently begins stroking his thumb along the skin of Dan’s neck. “We’ll see,” he says vaguely.

Not that he’ll actually do it, but the idea that he might consider it is enough to have Dan smiling a little. He hides it easily enough by nuzzling against Phil’s shoulder, taking all the warmth he feels in his chest and letting it spread through his body and calm his nerves from everything that’s happened this evening. There’d be a time for a serious discussion about the Levi situation later when they were alone, but for now he only wanted to cuddle with Phil and watch Jaiden watch this movie.

#phan #phanfiction #foster parent au #foster parent #bbc producer!phil #school counselor!dan #parent!au #parent!phan #friends to lovers #best friends #bed sharing #fake relationship #fluff #light angst #comfort #arguing

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