#I was sobbing earlier today over how ill never escape the pain

[arthrimyalgia]

Y'all I feel so dumb.. I have thought for the past year that acetaminophen is ibuprofen... Uhhh no it's Tylenol. Tylenol helps with head pain specifically, ibuprofen helps with body. I swear I read about this but my dyslexic ass must have mixed things up... Anyways finally got some ibuprofen today and tried it for the first time (on like the sickest day I've had in years) and OH MY GOD AKDMSMAM

I can lie down and not feel pain?? I'm not limping as badly, I can stretch without feeling stiff?????? This feels surreal.. bless ibuprofen, oh thank you so much!!!

[blahkugo]

Omakase

Pairing: Shouto Todoroki x Reader 

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: 18+, smut, slight overstim, all characters are aged up, ofc. 

A/N: Happy birthday to the woman that literally birthed my blog, the writer of the best fics I’ve ever read-- *cough Notice, Seven Minutes, Of Love and Lemons, etc.*-- @lookslikeleese​. It’s 5 am right now and my brain cannot come up with the proper words, but just know I love you so much. Thank you for creating our entire friend group. I LOVE YOU. 

omakase (noun): 

(in a Japanese restaurant) a meal consisting of dishes selected by the chef; chef’s choice. 

Thirty minutes into supper with the Todorokis, you think your heart may actually stop beating. It’s not the awkward silence, nor the snowstorm of icy glares traveling across the table. You’ve long since made your peace with the scents of charred leather couches and melted silverware that linger in your hair whenever one of the men gets riled up. 

No, it’s an issue far more pressing than the typical family drama, a matter that needs to be resolved with stealth— immediately. 

It’s Shouto’s fingers, darting into his pocket and pressing a single button. It’s your heels digging into the cool tile beneath you. It’s every nerve standing on end, every passing second sending a wave of heat to your core. Your knuckles blanche, gripping the oak table with such ferocity that it may just snap, and your thighs shake, overwhelmed.

The issue is that there’s a little pink vibrator pressing against your clit and the bi-colored bastard chews his food as though this night is no different than any other. 

It doesn’t matter that the toy’s been placed at the lowest setting all night, doesn’t matter that your fingernails relieve a bit of the pressure every time you dig them into your exposed thighs. The only thought crossing your mind is your impending orgasm. How are you supposed to stifle euphoric pleasure when you’re barely able to hold it together now? 

“So, how’s that new job going?” Enji asks more out of courtesy than interest. While you typically humor his attempts at placid conversation, you’re too troubled to speak to the stoic man in front of you. What if your juices seep through your soaked panties right onto the chair? 

“It’s— ah- it’s really good.” 

And this has been your entire night thus far. Feeble efforts to remain coherent, whines and gasps hidden behind awkward coughs— anything and everything you can possibly do to maintain your dignity in the presence of your boyfriend’s father. 

“What was that funny story you were telling me earlier today?” Shouto doesn’t miss a beat, sending a quick slant your way before stuffing another bite of rice into his mouth. He knows precisely what he’s doing, can feel the pointed daggers you dig into the side of his head, but his relaxed smile reveals nothing to the three pairs of eyes gazing intently at you, awaiting your response.

“Oh, Mt. Lady, she— oh my god,” As soon as you begin speaking, he cranks the toy up to a new level. Though it’s only for a second, the sound that leaves your body is inhuman, a mortifying cross between a sob and a choke that has your palm slamming onto the table fiercely.

All at once, the table is bustling with concern for your safety. To their naive eyes, it seems you choked on a bite of food, and Fuyumi hurries to grab you a glass of water. Shouto simply remains seated, a slick grin plastered across his face at the sight of your heated cheeks and teary eyes. What the fuck could have possessed you to agree to this in the first place? 

“I-I’m okay,” you mumble out, embarrassment shaking you far worse than any sex toy ever could. And that fact— the way your eyebrows knead together in discomfort as you squirm in your seat— is precisely what Shouto wants. You’re no stranger to humiliation, no stranger to the tugging deep in your gut or the heated flush that darts onto your mattress and makes its home on your cheeks.

But this? This type of shame is foreign; it makes your head spin and refuses to waver no matter how much you silently gripe and plead. “Honestly, I feel a bit—” another pulse, another pained gasp from you, “ill.” The words barely make their way out before you’re gritting your teeth, thighs pressing together so tightly they may leave pretty purple marks. 

“Maybe I should take her upstairs,” Shouto sighs, faux apology slipping through his mouth with ease. When did the fucker get so good at lying? 

And then he’s helping you up from your seat, rubbing tender circles into your back, like any good boyfriend would. But every graze is unbearable, sends a tidal wave of warmth rushing through your core. The most innocent of touches has become obscene, twisted in a way only you and the cool man next to you are able to acknowledge. 

As you climb the stairs with shaky legs, you can only pray that the rest of the family doesn’t notice the slick juices trailing down your thighs. 

—

“Who knew dinner and a show could be so entertaining?” He teases, just barely dodging the fist you throw half-heartedly at his shoulder. His supple lips are glued into a smirk, one that probably won’t drop until the night is long over. 

“Please– I-” you attempt to stifle your moans, but in the comfort of his childhood bedroom you find yourself slipping into a high-pitched whine. “Turn it off.” He seems to debate the plea internally, slender fingers brushing over the buttons until you grip harshly at his bicep. You’ve endured enough misery to last you months. 

When he finally switches it off, you feel your entire body slacken and relief wash over you; however, it does nothing for the throbbing in your clit or the pool of desire still brimming in your core. What you crave is his touch, the warmth that pokes and prods at your every muscle, loosening each nerve until you’re a babbling mess— wholly at the mercy of his lithe fingers. 

“Shou,” you mewl, voice dripping with desperation. His eyes widen for a quick second, brows raised and shocked by your blatant come-on with his family only a level down. “I need you.” 

Those three simple words have him springing into action, shoving you against the mattress. Pinning you beneath him with ease, he hikes your skirt up to your hips before running a slender digit against your clothed slit. 

“You made a mess,” his words carry no weight, only amazement at the juices flowing freely through the thin panties and down your thighs. “Probably made a mess all over your chair too.” 

With that comment, your shame is back with a vengeance, tinging the tips of your ears and causing you to cry out. Before Shouto, you’d have never thought this sort of depraved commentary could have you shaking. Hell, you’re not sure he even knew what he was doing to you at first; ever oblivious, Shouto simply speaks his mind. 

Only when he noticed the effect of his words, did he begin using those passing observations against you. Now, he lives for your reactions, spurs you on if only to see how far a gruff remark can push you— and typically, your limit is reached in wanton sobs and bright red scratch marks down his back. 

He doesn’t bother with removing the lace panties, only tugs them to the side so he can brush his fingers against your naked slit. When he pushes a thumb against your clit, you can’t help the loud cry that escapes you. “Bite,” he offers up his wrist so that your moans don’t carry through the thin walls. 

Your teeth sink into his flesh, eliciting a sharp breath at the sudden pain. And he enjoys that part too— the lengths you’ll go to achieve pleasure, the stinging reminders of your desire. “Stay quiet for me, yeah?” He tests a finger, then two, knuckles deep in your doughy walls as you writhe on the bed. “Good girl.” 

“Mmph,” you feel your eyes roll back at the soft praise, thighs tensing as he begins to pump his digits in and out. “Faster, ah– please.” Your moans are muffled against his arm, but he complies nonetheless, fingers curling and hitting the spot that drums against your heartbeat, that rattles through your brain.

The second he brings his lips to your clit, you feel the coil in your stomach about to snap. Hair slick with sweat, your hands roam through his own wet strands, gripping and tugging him closer, closer, closer. He suckles hungrily, his last meal long forgotten as he pushes you further over the edge. 

All at once, you see stars. You’re unsure whether you’re keeping quiet like he asked or sobbing loudly, the tidal wave of pleasure consumes you whole, stomach going taut and twisting as he allows you to ride out your orgasm. With the toy slowly edging you all night, this bliss feels fully merited— is exactly what you deserve after being subjected to his teasing for so long. 

Shouto only lets up when your entire body has gone slack and you push his head away. Bringing his fingers up to your supple lips, he watches hungrily as you slurp at your own slick. 

His eyes are the darkest you’ve ever seen them, pooling with eagerness and a longing for more; he brings a thumb to his chin to wipe at your juices— licks a long stripe up the digit to fully savor you. The image is immodest at the least, animalistic at most.

It reignites your own thirst immediately. 

Though you’re exhausted, core spasming from overuse, you find yourself tugging at his waistband, pulling him close so he can sheath himself inside you in one fell thrust. 

“Fuck,” his voice is husky, groan stifled in the nook of your shoulder. “Still so fucking tight for me.” The only sounds that fill the air are your joint moans, the squeaky springs of the mattress, and the headboard clanging against the wall— sweat soaked skin as his hips snap against you. 

“Ah— please, please, please,” it seems to be the only phrase that falls from your loose lips. Every jerk sends shocks across your damp flesh, vision going foggy as he sends your brain spinning. Once again, you teeter at the edge, so close. Your legs wrap across his back, digging into the globes of his ass to pull him impossibly closer. 

“What do you want?” He grunts into your jaw, peppering wet kisses down your neck and across your chest. It may leave a mark or two, but it’s something to worry about later. 

“I–”At this point, you’re just a teary, blubbering mess, “please, Shou– need your cum.” You manage the words, knowing exactly what effect they have. His movements quicken, pace faltering as he chases his own high. 

And then, you’re both seeing stars. With one final shudder, his cock twitches, and then he’s spilling into you. Your groans intertwine, his a loud sigh of your name, you sobbing helplessly. 

Once he finally stills, he collapses on top of you, both of your chests heaving. His fingers smooth at your matted hair, whispers of ‘so good for me’ and ‘fuck, baby’ into the shell of your ear as he allows your body— still trembling uncontrollably— time to regain composure.  

Now you remember why you agreed to this little game of his.

–

“I hope you feel better,” Fuyumi hugs you goodbye, though your eyes are glazed over in post-coital bliss. Her gaze doesn’t quite meet your own, anyways. But they couldn’t have heard; you were quiet. Weren’t you? 

As you stumble into the passenger side of Shouto’s pristine Model S, you catch the gruff comment Enji murmurs to Shouto, 

“You two could stand to be a bit less obvious next time.” 

[jordanstrophe]

Going Once, Going Twice, part 12

Clever boy

(Bit of a short one, but I really wanted this part out)

CW: Pet whumpee, recovering from strangulation 

masterlist

“Keep ice on it and if he can swallow alright, give him some pain meds. Other than that, just let him rest.” Winola sighed, tucking Peter back into bed. He hadn’t woken up since the party, his face resting peacefully, his neck black and bruised horrifically. 

“Thank you for coming. I know you were busy.” Robert sadly muttered, sitting in a chair next to his bed. 

“Well, when I heard what happened I had to come.” She shrugged.

“I can’t believe the Barron pulled something like that... I was right there! One door away! I’m so stupid! I should have never let him leave my sight..” He cursed himself.

“Yep.”

“Win, that’s not helping.”

“Hey, I said I'd come to help him, not you.” She teasingly elbowed him.  “That’s the Barron for you though, he makes dozens of career destroying moves. Yet he gets away with it all. Probably why he let you off so easily, he didn’t want to get into any more trouble than he’s already in.” She said. 

“He burned the letter.” He muttered, staring down as his hands holding Peter’s. 

“Oh Rob... I’m sorry, I knew that letter meant a lot to you.” She sighed, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

“No, I deserve it.” He sighed, collapsing his face into the bed.

“I should have never brought him there. All of this is my fault, and he... He took the blame for it. He was just trying to help me and I should have told him no! But I just couldn’t! I was too weak to protect him. I don’t deserve both the letter, or him.” His voice cracked at the last word, covering his mouth to try and stop a sob from escaping his lips. 

“What’s done is done. But the good news is, he’s going to be fine. That’s what’s important. You got a strong young man on your hands.” She smiled, packing up the medical supplies. “I have to head out, call me if anything happens, kay?” 

“Mmkay.” He muttered into the blankets. 

“Ugh, come on Rob, this is seriously depressing. Maybe you can talk to Nina, she might have read the letter.” 

“I don’t care about the letter anymore.” He mumbled.

“Yes you do.” She sighed.

“No I don't. Look at what it did. Trying to get that letter, did this!” He shot his head up, motioning at Peter who was sound asleep, breathing shallowly. 

“I never want to see her again. I never want to contact her again, she’s not my family anymore. She never was.” He hissed. 

Winola took a slow breath, crossing her arms, giving Peter one last hair pet before standing up.

“Fair enough.” Winola said, setting a hand on his shoulder as she left. 

Robert sat clinging to his hand, like the more lovingly he held it the faster he would get better. He was going to make this up to him somehow, He wished so badly he could fix everything that happened, blot his memory for that night like it never happened.

He jolted when he felt his hand squeeze back. Peter’s eyes slowly blinked open, as his head turned from side to side trying to see where he was.

“Hey! Hey, It’s okay, you’re home, I’m right here.” Robert gasped, sitting up on the bed next to him, gently cupping his cheek. 

Peter looked up at him with tired eyes, half open, then giving him a small smile. 

Robert had no idea how on earth he could be smiling after what he just went through, but his tiny smile was so precious that he couldn’t help but to smile back at him. 

“Master?” He mumbled, squinting up at him with one eye. Robert stopped fumbling with the pain meds in his hand to look at him. He gave him a sad smile, taking his hand in his, running his thumb over his knuckles.

 “Th-the coat.” He whispered, nudging his hand. “Mm? Are you cold?” He asked, immediately placing the palm of his hand to his forehead.

“No, just the coat.” He nudged again. Robert puzzled in confusion, but grabbed the coat, gently laying it over him, smoothing it out. Peter pulled out his hands, Robert looked at them sadly with a guilty sigh when he noticed they were trembling. He dug through the pockets, until he pulled out a folded piece of paper. He gently wrapped his fingers around Robert’s wrist, sliding the paper in his hand.

“Yours.” He rasped, closing his eyes as his hands fell to his sides, that was enough energy used up for today. 

Robert’s heart pounded in his chest as he looked down at the paper in his hand, slowly opening it as his face went pale.

“This is... My mother’s handwriting.” He whispered, frozen in place.

“H-how?” He looked at Peter, as tears began to flow down his cheeks. “But the Barron... H-he burned...” He voice trailed off, staring back down at the letter clutched in his hands. 

“H-he did. He burned the envelope, but not the letter.” He glanced up at him, and gave off a small mischievous smile. 

“I found it in the cabinet earlier and switched it out with something. Didn’t think it would get burned though...” He let out a quiet giggle.

Robert jumped to his feet, clapping his hands together with pure joy plastered across his face. “AHA! You saved it!?” He cried, practically falling onto the bed, "That’s my boy!” He cheered, gently pulling him into a cradling hug. “Ohh, what would I do without you.” He laughed, planning a kiss in his hair.  Peter curled up in his lap, resting his head on his chest.

“It’s the least I c-could do. After causing you so much trouble...” He sighed, hiding his head in his shoulder. Robert went silent, tilting his head back with his fingertips to look at him. “Sweetheart, you did everything for me. Everything and more. I’m the one who failed you, I should have kept you safe. I wanted the letter so badly that I... I let you pay the price.” He sighed, gently brushing his hair back.  

“I’m sorry.” Robert muttered, a tear escaping his eye, as he sniffed and wiped it away. Peter let out a breath, closing his eyes to the gentle touch.

“Wait, what did you replace the letter with?” Robert asked.  “Um, I don’t know, I just grabbed another paper that was in the basket. It had something that said B-I-L-L on it.” He shrugged. Robert covered his mouth to try and keep in a snicker. “He.. He burned a bill?” He asked, trying desperately not to break down laughing on the spot. 

“I guess s-so. Is that bad? Did I mess something up?” He asked, worry growing in his voice. 

“No no! It’s fine! Everything is perfectly fine! You’re alright.” He smiled.

“Are... Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He smiled. 

“Mmkay.” He smiled, nuzzling his face into the palm of his hand. 

“Clever boy... Who knew you were so mischievous.” Robert laughed. Peter was already almost fast asleep in his arms, eyes closing, letting out a quiet murmur. Robert smiled, setting the letter on the table next to the wooden carved owl. 

“I don’t deserve you.” He muttered, brushing his hair back.

Tag list: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @moose-teeth @ill-eat-you-if-you-cross-me @yet-another-heathen @sillypizzazineoperator @freefallingup13 @alien-octopus @unicornscotty @whumpzone  @penny-for-your-whump @girlwithnoballons242 @whumpingredroses  @rippedjeansandfadeddreams  @cupcakes-and-pain @thinkingofausername

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Thank you for reading!

(You know you’re a writer when your history looks like this)

[natthebattygeologist]

A Brush with a Cursed Lily

Royal Court AU

King’s Advisor!Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

A/N: So here it is, a second part to A Kiss From a Rose. I’m sorry for the wait however I got very busy with work and my university projects. I do so hope you enjoy this. It’s written slightly differently to part 1 as this is all from the Reader’s POV.

I just want to thank @cockslut-padalecki for allowing me to write part 1 as part of the #notmyninth writing challenge and I hope that this angsty follow up does A Kiss From a Rose proud.

Word Count: 2208

Warnings: Angst, angst, more angst, some light fluff, swearing, implied smut, grief, mentions of loss.

Reader’s POV

I ran around chasing after the little squirt who was currently avoiding his bath-time before tripping up and landing square on my backside in a patch of tall Calla Lilies. They were a stunning shade of deep violet and brought back the memories of 6 summers ago. The day I was married off to my best-friend, Steve Rogers, Lord of Rosebury-upon-Sale. I chuckled to myself as my husband rounded the corner of the orangery with our son, covered in mud head to toe, a huge smile plastered on his face. The last few years had been trying at times, and unbearable in others but somehow, we managed to make it through.

“Frolicking in the flowers are we, my petal?” A deep laugh resonated from Steve’s chest as he took in the sight of me, dishevelled and dirtied from my tumble.

“Yes, it’s a rather delightful hobby I have found. Quite the thrilling end to chasing our little gremlin child. Now if you would be so inclined as to help your pregnant wife out of the flower bed, I would greatly appreciate it.”

“Come now love, you know I love to see you in a fluster, but I suppose it would do the baby no good leaving you there.”

I took the hand he so graciously offered me and took our muddied little boy from his father’s hold.

“Now honestly Charlie, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Prince as muddy and dirty as you are right now, you little rascal. Let’s get you cleaned up and fed, then maybe we can go and visit Uncle James before bedtime.”

----------------- 4 Years Earlier----------------

The King summoned us back to court, and what was meant to be a joyous visit quickly became a permanent stay. Upon our arrival we were greeted by a bleary-eyed Prince and an equally as troubled Princess. The King was dying and had called upon his advisor to help prepare for Bucky’s transition into power. To anyone else nothing would’ve seemed amiss, except it was.

When James’ back was turned, I had witnessed Princess Maia acting rather strangely, gathering bouquets of foxglove and trimmings of deadly nightshade. I was almost certain of her intentions but feared my own safety and so kept it to myself, until one night where I couldn’t bear the burden this knowledge held over me any longer.

“Steve, my love, I have something troubling my mind.” My voice came out a hushed and broken whisper.

“What worries you so my petal? I know it hasn’t been easy for you being back, and having to pretend to like Maia, I assure you that I am always here to listen to you and love you.”

“Well, you see, I think I know why the King is sick. On several occasions I have witnessed the Princess with my own eyes gathering bouquets of foxglove and cuttings from the nightshade bush down by the lily patch. I worry that she is poisoning the King, taking advantage of both his and James’ compromised states to hold a sway over decisions that will likely see our kingdom lost to that of her own father.”

I spoke confidently now, having been an integral part of the court for all my childhood. Steve knew better than to question my knowledge of how things ran. He also knew that I would be one of the first to notice if anything was awry, be that with the account books or even the numbers of armed men stationed at each watchtower. After the death of his wife the King only had James as an heir, and so, he vowed that in case any ill befall him I would also be trained, so that if required, I could become a successful Queen someday.

“Steve, I do believe wholeheartedly that this is all a set-up and that we have been blindly infiltrated by our enemy. Things aren’t adding up. The number of guards stationed at The Keep has been halved in sized since the King has fallen ill. It leaves the West of the kingdom in a precarious position. One where an attack could easily happen and be kept quiet. I don’t like the look of it, any of it, and something needs to be done before we are conquered, you are killed, and me resigned to a life of slavery and servitude at the hands of the despicable Wyvern family.” My voice broke and a sob tore through me at the thought of losing everything I have left to the family that has already taken so much from me, starting with my mother shortly after I was born.

“Hush my petal. Tears will do nothing to fix this. The King is aware of the situation, however in our absence the Prince has changed, and he has become blinded by his love for ‘his lily’, though I daresay snake would be the better term for that venomous bitch.” A scoff escaped Steve’s lips before he continued. “The reason the King summoned us is because he has seen what fate has befallen James. He has made his bed, albeit a rather uncomfortable bed, and now he will have to lie in it. The King wishes for you to become Queen after his passing. He wants to stop the plans of Maia’s family before their tendrils of poison can run further into our kingdom than they already have. You my love can bring all this to an end, and I believe you would be able to unite the Kingdoms in a peaceful treaty that could last.”

I curled up into Steve’s side placing a chaste kiss to his lips. He returned it with a hunger and passion before carding his fingers through my hair and tracing them along my jaw.

“Please my petal, let me chase away your worries, after all, if you are to be Queen, we shall need to work on producing some heirs.”

A smirk befell his lips before he ducked his head, nipping at my neck, knowing full well that I would cave to his carnal desires.

--------------- Present Day -------------

After having cleaned up the mucky Prince, Steve and I walked with him through the gardens as evening began to draw in. Fireflies filled the air as we made the trek to the rose garden. As a child it had been mine and Bucky’s favourite place to hide, and on more than one occasion hugs and kisses had been exchanged.

Today this garden holds a whole new meaning as at its centre, beneath a beautiful weeping willow, lay James’ grave.

------------- 3 Years Earlier ------------

Before the King’s passing, he ordered his kings-guard to imprison and execute the Princess for treason against the throne. She was hung at The Keep as a warning to her family that they were next. Their years of planning and scheming had come to an abrupt and distasteful end.

What the Wyverns deemed as an unlawful murder incited a full war between our Kingdoms, it saw both Steve and Bucky fighting on the front lines with me at the helm, as Queen. Soon I had treaties signed with other Kingdoms aligning us for generations to come, until the only one stood against the alliance was the Kingdom of the Serpents. The battle of Roseknappe in the Western borders was the bloodiest battle of all. By this time, I was no longer part of frontline action as I was holed up in the castle under the watchful protection of my elite Queens-guard. When news got out that I was with child the Wyverns stopped at nothing to try and kill me or at the least cause me harm enough for my body to rid itself of the heir I now lovingly grew inside of me. But they needn’t have worried.

When I was around 5 months along tragedy struck our kingdom. The arrival of my husband looking grey in pallor, with sunken eyes and covered in injuries was the first sign that something was very wrong. When the two had left to fight they rode off, side by side, settling any grievances they had over the arranged marriages and uniting to fight to save the Kingdom and keep me on the throne. Steve’s return signalled the end of an era and feelings in my gut that had been dormant for years surfaced in cry of grief so great that it silenced the birdsong for days. Although James was not King, he was still a beloved Prince. My first love and the person who would forever hold a piece of my heart.

In my grief-stricken state I had fallen and managed to land with the sharp riser of the marble stairs squarely in my abdomen. The shock I was in meant that I hadn’t noticed the blood that began pooling nor do I remember what happened over the next few weeks as the doctors and healers frantically worked to keep me alive.

“Steve? Steve? Where’s James? I…. I want to see him. I…” I was interrupted by Steve coming over and pulling me tight to his chest.

“Praise to the Old Gods, my petal, are you okay? Are you in any pain?” worry had seeped into his tone and what looked to be a pang of guilt crossed his normally stoic face. “My love, how much do you remember of the last three weeks?”

A confused expression befell my features before Steve decided to continue.

“Oh, my sweet love, James... James isn’t coming back. The fight at Roseknappe, he saved my life by taking the arrow that was meant to pierce my heart, he sacrificed himself because he wanted me to be able to return to you, so I could love you the way he was never allowed to. So that I could raise a family and keep our Kingdom strong. He died in my arms after begging me to pass you on this letter that he wrote, almost as if he knew he wouldn’t make it back from this war.”

Fresh tears began to fall as Steve handed me the bloodied paper.

My dearest Rose,

How I wish things had been different, and that it was I that got to hold you in my arms at the end of the aisle. I begged my father to change his mind, but he wouldn’t budge. I will never forgive myself for the horrid things I said to you when father made you queen. I was poisoned by the words of a traitor and knowing now I hurt the one true love of my life is the reason why I will fight so hard to save you.

If you are reading this it means I am gone my sweet girl. I know that you will grieve me but please, for my sake as much as your own, I want you to love Steve as wholly as you once loved me. I beg of you to take care of yourself and to keep me close as you grow through the years. I am sorry I will not be there to see my little nieces and nephews, but I know that you and Steve will be the most wonderful parents.

That day in the rose garden, after your first dance in front of the court, when I kissed you. I wanted to tell you then just how much I loved you, but I couldn’t do it. It’s almost as if in my heart I knew you would never truly be mine.

I love you my Rose and I will see you in the next life,

Your Prince,

Bucky

xx

4 months later after grieving the loss of the Prince, the Kingdom was celebrating, not just a victory of war and a long lasting treaty of peace, but the birth of their future King.

Prince Charlie James Buchanan Rogers, heir to the throne of Rosehall and Duke of Snowblossom Grove.

----------- Present Day ----------

“…… and that is the story of how your brave Uncle James battled the terrifying Wyverns to protect your mummy.”

I could hear Steve talking with Charlie as I sat on the bench staring blankly at the grave, wishing with every ounce of strength that I could, hoping to gain just one more moment with my soulmate.

“Come Charlie, let’s get you into bed, then tomorrow we can go riding and Papa can show you the waterfall where him and Uncle James decided to scare me into thinking that your Papa had drowned. Really, they just wanted mummy to go swimming with them, but they knew I wouldn’t go unless there was an emergency.”

After settling Charlie into bed, I took a stroll around the halls before heading to my shared chambers. Laying on the bed next to Steve he protectively wrapped his arms around me, as if he could shield me from the pain the world would throw at me.

“I love you Steven Grant Rogers. It may have taken me a while but, I have always cared for you, and I vow to you now that I will love you until my dying breath.”

“I know my petal, as I will love you, and Charlie, and this little one that we have yet to meet, until mine.”

Taglist: (My Humble Peeps)

@missyredbean

[hawks-is-kinda-chicken-little]

Voicemail

Hawks X Reader

Summary: Commitment is sometimes scary, especially when Keigo already has so much on his plate. So instead of communicating that to his lover, he grows distant.

-part 1-

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

—————————————————-

One moment Keigo was flying through cloud nine and the next he was falling faster than ever.

(Y/n) was the first one to break his walls. See the broken man through the believable facade portrayed by the media. She loved him, the real him, not the picture perfect model on the tv young boys and girls dream about and idolize. All his flaws and scars never repealed her for even a moment, she loved him unconditionally. She was the first to do so, the first to show him that he didn’t have to be perfect.

Keigo remembers when she shattered those barriers. Oh, how he cried. It was only a week until their one year anniversary. But, this was the first time (y/n) had seen him all battered and beaten from a fight earlier. No feathers on his back, nasty gashes on his face and arms, Hawks might as well have been fresh out of a human sized shredder. Really, he should have gone to the hospital, but he figured he could just handle the damage himself. He remembers being frozen in place when his eyes landed on her after just walking into their shared apartment. She should have been asleep already, yet there she was standing in the dim lighted hallway with the worry shining in those doe eyes of hers. Her cheeks were puffy and her eyes were red as if she had been crying moments ago. Quickly, she scurried over to him scanning over his torn form. From there gently but quickly guided him to the bathroom where they kept the medical supplies.

He was sitting on a stool near the bathroom sink as (y/n) sat right next to him with her legs folded on the floor. The silence was deafening, no questions were asked. Hawks quietly watched her shaking hands delicately wrap one of the bandages around his wounded arm. Making sure the fabric was not to tight, but not too lose that it would come undone. Sighing, he reached the hand she previously wrapped and cupped her cheek, rubbing his ever so gently under her eye, causing her to stop her actions and place her hand upon his own, closings her eyes. She lowered her head as her shoulders started shaking ever so slightly with every sniffle and hiccup that came from her. Hawks used his other hand guide her face towards his wiping away freshly dropping tear that cascaded down her puffy red cheeks. It was only a couple for minutes before she broke the silence.

“I saw it on the news,” Her bottoms lip quivered more as she spoke.

“What did you see, my love?”

“Them hurt you,” She sobbed “It was all over the news, you were- you were thrown through the building and pummbled into the ground, the- then the power shut off and I did know if- I didn’t know-”

The poor thing couldn’t even finish the sentence, she was now curled over her knees sobbing into her hands in attempt to muffle her cries. Hawks was in shock, he knew she cared and worried for him, but apparently underestimated the extent at which it went. Never in his life has someone genuinely cried on his behalf, not even his so-called parents. This was the moment he broke down. This was the moment he knew she truly loved him and he truly loved her.

Shifting so that Keigo was now on the ground with her, he pulled her to his lap, rocking them both from side to side, as he burying his face in her hair. In this moment both of their hearts beat for each other and nothing could change that. He hadn’t even realized his own tears that were falling until she pulled back just alittle to stare into his eyes and wipe them away. There was nothing but love and care in those glazed over her eyes.

Hawks remembers sitting on the tile of the bathroom floor the rest of the night in eachothers embrace. No one in the rest of the world mattered, it was only them, both vulnerable to each other’s love.

She meant so much to him, she was like the feathers on his back, freeing and always there to lift him up. Everyone at the agency loved her, she was motherly to the interns and alway there to vent if someone needed to talk. She was a true blessing to all those around her. Time went on and there love only grew stronger.

Lately something had seemed off with Keigo, he was acting cold and distant, and not even he could pinpoint why. Maybe it was the stress of all the hero work piling up. Being the number Two Hero came with a lot of responsibility and a lot more work which he had to keep on top of. Keigo had been staying at the office later doing paperwork into the early hours of the morning for the past three days. And when he did return home (y/n) was always draped over the arm of the couch in her night time attire asleep. It was obvious that she was trying to wait up for him, but always seemed to fail. Shaking his head with a small smile at her silliness, he picked her up and brought her to bed. It wasn’t long before he joined her, but Hawks was always gone before she would wake up.

She would leave him encouraging texts and voicemails throughout the day, to which he never replied to. It seemed like they hadn’t even really had a real conversation in a couple of months. Every time she would try and reach out to her, he’d blow her off, avoiding any sort of confrontation. Keigo already has so much going through his head with all this league of villains stuff, the last thing he needs is another person giving him problems.

Today marked the 3 year anniversary of their relationship. It was a quiet day at the agency, so (y/n) came to visit. Of course a bunch of the women pulled her into the break area to gossip. They were all talking and giggling when he was walking by. Hawks stopped to listen at the door when one giggling in particular reached his ears making him smile. The ladies wanted juicy details about Hawks and his lover’s relationship. He couldn’t stop the smile creeping up his face hearing her stutter out haste responses obviously embarrassed by their questions.

A couple more questions were thrown around and he put his hand on the door getting ready to barge in and save his poor baby like the hero he was. Hawks was half way through the door when one of the ladies asked about marriage making him halt. All eyes were on him, but his eyes were on (y/n)’s as his smile slowly fell. He shifted his gaze to the ground as he backed out the door, the sound of a chair being pulled back followed by the hurried steps of his lover close behind him. Her hand reached out and grasped the hand in an attempt to make him stop, which was successful and he turned to look at her, his face void of emotion.

“They were only joking, you know,” She said, hoping to lighten the mood, but there was some sort of panic or desperation hidden in her voice, Hawks could hear it.

He didn’t say anything, he only stared at her with a straight face. By the grace of whatever higher ups there were, his work phone went off signaling an emergency.

She squeezed his hand “I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but know that I love you and I will listen if there anything you want to talk about when you come back, we can skip our dinner reservations and just chill at home if you want.”

“I can’t talk about this right now, ill see you at home,” He muttered, ripping his hand from her hold.

Keigo turned around, walking away from her, but not miss the shocked and pained look that spread over her face. As he walked towards his office, the employee’s mouths hung open in shock. With shame and guilt beginning to set in, Keigo quickened his pace to his destination, slamming the door behind him as he arrived. A frustrated sigh escaped his lips as his hands tugged at the untamed locks on his head. Pulling himself together, Keigo grabbed his gear and headed to the destination at which he was needed.

The mission was a breeze, but he didn’t return to the office, instead he opted to clear his mind soaring through the night time clouds. He flew out of the city bounds and landed on a tree that stood miles away, facing the glowing outline of the city. Hawks sat on one of the sturdier branches leaning against the thick core it sprouted from and closing his heavy eyes.

What was his issue? What had changed to make him act so harsh? God, (y/n) probably hates him now. Can’t say he would blame her though, he’s been nothing but a jerk to her these past couple of days. Damn, he was such an asshole at the office. Ignoring her, snapping at her, pushing her away when she had done nothing wrong.

But that’s not what she thought. These past days all she could do was pick her own mind over and over again. This has been going on for an entire month, nothing has been resolved, it only seems to be getting worse. She tried staying up and waiting till he got home to talk to him, but he was always home so late. (Y/n) tried calling, but that never got anywhere. It was alway go straight to voicemail. The same old:

“Heyyyyy, sorry I can’t answer at this moment. If its urgent or you have chicken that you can eat/ just want to give me chicken call my bussiness number at (***)***-****. Talk to ya later.”

She would alway leave a sweet and encouraging voicemail, sometime she would ask when he would be home, or if he maybe wanted to meet her for food or something.

So now here she sits at 1am, holding the tiny wrapped box she was going to give him for their anniversary while tears streamed down her face. Stuffed inside is a pregnancy test, they always joked about kids before this issue started. She found out about two weeks ago, deciding to wait to give it to him today, or yesterday, since she could never really get a hold of him lately.

She can’t do this much longer though, it was really starting to get to her, maybe it was the hormones talking, but it hurts nonetheless. No matter how she twisted it in her head she couldn’t understand where they went wrong. Setting the present on the counter, she walked to their shared bed room so she could grab a couple of necessities for the night. As of right now she was planning on crashing at a friends house who was already informed of (y/n)’s current predicament. Rumi Usagiyama always knew how to cheer her up.

After stuffing the duffle bag, (y/n) wrote a little note and left it at the edge of the night stand before grabbing the car keys and heading out the door. Making sure to turn off all the lights and lock the door on her way.

Unfortunately, in her rush she left the small box neatly wrapped bright colors and a golden bow resting forgotten on the counter.

It was hours till Keigo finally got the courage to head home to her for the night, or morning, as it was past 1 am. It felt cold inside, it felt empty. Keigo didn’t like it. Normally (y/n) kept the kitchen light on as she would always try and wait up for him when he came home.

The further he walked in the more he panicked, (y/n) wasn't passed out on the couch. Uneasiness settled deep in his gut as he started searching the apartment in a frenzy. Heading towards their bedroom, he froze at the door frame seeing, it was empty, she wasn’t there.

He started yelling out her name, desperate for some sort of response while he searched every room. Keigo checked his phone, nothing. He called her, no response. Maybe, she was somewhere outside. Yeah, (y/n) loved going on early morning walks.

While rushing back towards the front door, a shiny gold sparkle caught his eye. It stood out of place in the dark kitchen. The glittery glow illuminated from golden ribbons wrapped around a package all connecting to form a bow on the top.

Cautiously walking over to the counter he picked it up, immediately eyeing a tag that had flopped to the side. Two fingers grasped it, flipping it from one side to the other. On the opposite side was written ‘To: Keigo’ in the beautiful handwriting that could only belong to (y/n).

His heart sunk as guilt started eating away at him. Pulling the ends of the ribbons, he slowly unwrapped it, taking the lid off the small box. At first he was confused, inside was just a bunch of tissue paper and some kinda plastic stick. When Keigo saw the 2 bright red stripes going down one side, it clicked. It was a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test.

Keigo’s mind went blank as the world around him froze. Tears started racing down his now damp cheeks. God what has he done. After placing the stick back in the box and then shoving it in his coat pocket Keigo bolted to the closest window, phone in hand attempting to call her phone.

All calls went to voicemail. There was no sign of her anywhere. Keigo could feel his wings shake in panic and desperation. Two hours had gone by and there was nothing.

Where was his (y/n), where was his angel? The woman who put up with all his shit throughout the years. The woman who loved him unconditionally, even when she saw how truly broken of a man he was. The woman who worried for him, cared for him, healed him, knew him. The real him. The woman who was carrying their baby, the woman- the one he pushed away. The one who he ignored and made cry. The one he hurt.

He needed to find her, try to mend all his mistakes. Hell, beg on his knees for her to forgive him. Ask how he could make it up to her. Let him show her that he can be a better man for not only her, but their baby. Oh, god they were going to have a baby. Just the thought of the little chick, made his heart cry out of joy and love.

There was so much he had to say to her. So much time he wanted to make up for. He wanted, no, needed to hold her, encase her and their little chick away from the world in a cocoon of red feathers. But, first he had to find them.

Landing on the barren street he began searching on foot, choosing to call up a few other heros in hope that they had either seen her or would help search for her. No one had seen her, not even Rumi, her best friend, had heard from or seen her the whole day. The few heros that were awake in the early morning, including Endeavor and of course Rumi, went out to start looking for her.

Another hour went by and there was no news, at this point Rumi was using her phone to try and call her. As Rumi was calling, Keigo faintly heard the familiar tone of (y/n) ringtone.

It was faint, but if he followed its sound, it kept getting louder and louder, and almost seemed to be more distorted from its original sweet tone. He followed it right to the entrance of an alley. The ringing stopped signalling the reject of the call. Leading into the dark shadowy ally was a smeared red looking substance that glistened in the moonlight.

Rumi caught up to him, eyes following his gaze to the ground. She watched as her friend shakingly pulled his own phone from his pocket, calling (y/n). A lump formed in her throat as the ringtone of her best friend went off a couple feet before them as a light illuminated from the receiving device.

Neither of them could move as Endeavor came from behind them, witnessing the whole thing. Endeavor used his fire to create a light source, giving them a better view.

Before the heros was a blood splattered ground, all over the brick walls and objects on the ground. But there was not a source of where that blood might have come from. The reminisce of a duffle bag lay abandoned on the side next to a dumpster. It’s contents were scattered all around, ripped clothes and other items which blood splattered all over.

There was only one person who all there’s items belonged to. They all knew it. Especially Keigo.

He took a couple steps in stopping right before a bright screen in the center of it all. The device displayed warped images of the two of them on the shattered glass of the screen. Keigo could make out both of their faces, he was holding her on a bridge. Arms wrapped around each other, him kissing her blush covered cheek as she sweetly giggled.

Keigo fell to his knees in front of it. Rumi started wailing, yelling to (y/n) that this was not a joke, demanding she come out. Endeavor stepped to the side calling for backup and a forensic team.

Curling over his knees, Keigo started sobbing hysterically. His wings slumped to the ground shaking with every sob that racked through his body.

The phone kept ringing, as if it was mocking him. Ringing. Ringing. And ringing. Over and over again. Until it went on, until it stopped and caused his phone to go to voicemail. Her angelic voice came from his speake

“Sorry if I couldn’t answer right away, make sure to leave a message and i- hey! Keigo stop, no, Keig-,” “She obviously busy, if it is urgent call a hero or something,” “Keigo for God sake, give me my phone” “Leave a message or call later, i really don't care which,” “You dorky chicken leg, give it back!”

Then it cut out, ending the voice over. Her voice faded out, leaving his broken cries the only thing to be heard.

Keigo never moved, he sat there hurled over in the middle of the alleyway, wings splayed out over the ground.

Endeavor had to drag Keigo to his feet and haul him out of the way so that the investigators could get to work. He made Keigo sit on a bench by the front of the building next to the alley. A bunch of heros were trying to console Rumi through her mentally breakdown, as she cursed the world, threatening the worst to those who took her family.

Keigo stared back towards the ally littered with a team of investigators through blurry eyes. He felt his world come to an end. No damage he could or had taken amounted to his current pain. It squeezed at his chest and restricted his airways. He couldn’t control his muscles, everything ached from head to toe.

The one person who kept him from falling was stolen. Not even the wings on his back can keep him from falling into the cruel hell hole that is society.

Reaching into the coat pocket his coat pocket he pulled out the box, holding it in his lap. Tears once again spilling down his face. She was pregnant. They were going to have a baby. Someone took away his babies.

She always called Keigo her hero. She promised him that nothing would ever change that.

(Y/n) could be alive somewhere, the investigators came over and informed that there is no sign of a body, but a blood trail that leads to tire marks through one of the connecting alleyways.

Keigo is going to find her. He’s going to bring his babies home. Shower his angel in all the love she deserves. He’s going to fix everything.

Hands clutched the box in a tight grip as razor eyes narrowed at the alley. Keigo could feel his feathers sharpening from his state of anger. There was going to be Hell to pay. Blood to shed. Bones to break. May God have mercy on those who took (y/n), because Keigo will have none to give.

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Edit: I’m not sure if I should just leave it there or make a part 2 so let me know what all y’all think.

[shapeshiftersandfire]

The Osprey and the Barn Owl, pt. iii

Emma, finally rescued from Sinister’s lab, begins her road to recovery. But, even while she’s freed, she finds that Sinister’s grip on her isn’t quite gone.

previous

for @amonthofwhump​’s bracket challenge!

Bracket Two; Trope: betrayal

taglist: @whumpinggrounds​

cw: psycholgical whump, lady whump, referenced wing whump, referenced lab whump, recovering whumpee, scalpel mention, self-blame, collar mention

The mattress could have been the hardest thing in the world and Emma still would have found it comfortable. She sinks into it, feeling the pressure come off her body after so long spent either strung up or lying on a hard floor. Her joints don’t ache, her hip isn’t sore, and it doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep. 

When she wakes next, the sun is beginning to set, and there’s an orange glow to her room. Emma sighs and closes her eyes again, having no intentions to fall back to sleep, but to instead lay contently in the shadow of the setting sun. One month. One month she’d spent locked up, away from the sun and any view of the outdoors. She hadn’t realized how much she missed it until the day she’d nearly escaped.

And then— 

The sound of scissors at work echoes in her head. She cringes, tightening her still-aching wings against her back, pulling the blankets tighter around her. It’s a sound she can’t escape, and the feeling of a cruel hand taking a grip of her feathers. And with those comes the crushing knowledge that until she molts again—in one year— she can’t fly.

She can’t fly.

Can’t fly. Can’t fly. Can’t fly.

She’ll molt, eventually, she always does, it happens every year. But it’s knowing for that entire year she’s going to be grounded. Unable to join her teammates in the skies. And every time she thinks about why, she’s going to remember the sound of the scissors, the even snip snip snip as it ate through her feathers, Sinister’s tight grip, the toothed clamps biting into her wings.

Emma pulls the blankets over her head. All she wants to do it hide away for the next year, until her ruined primaries fall out and regrow. She doesn’t want the X-Men to see her like this, not shattered and grounded. Hank already has, when he cleaned and treated her wings and cleaned the blood off her face, and even one of the team seeing her is one too many. 

Please, please make it stop. 

It’s going to haunt her at every waking moment. It’s going to haunt her in her sleep. The sounds, the feeling, she’s never going to be able to forget.

She pushes herself further into the bed. Every inch of her body still aches, even with the pain medications Hank had given her earlier.

And then, a knock at the door.

Emma lets out a soft, strained sigh, reluctantly pulling the blankets down from over her head. Come in.

Jean slips through the door, gently shutting it behind her. “Hey.” She sits at the edge of the bed; Emma doesn’t mind. Jean’s quiet, gentle company is a welcomed change from what she’s had. “How are you feeling?”

Emma takes a breath and groans. She’s slept all night and well into the next day, but she still feels overly exhausted, like she could sleep the rest of today and into the next. “Tired,” she whispers. Her voice still feels raw, it’s still hoarse from her month spent screaming at Sinister’s hands. “Sore.”

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” Jean says softly. “To think that I’ve almost been there…” She shakes her head, wings fluffed, a haunted look in her eyes. “I would never wish that on anyone.”

And years ago, he was intent on using Jean Grey in his experiments. But we stopped him.

Emma remembers that. She sighs heavily. “Nor would I.”

“Emma—” Jean reaches for Emma’s shoulder; Emma flinches away. Too many violent, ill-meaning hands have been on her wings already, she can’t bear the thought of any more.

“Don’t—”

Jean draws away. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Emma says wearily. “But please, don’t touch me until I’m ready. I need to be...left alone.”

“Of course.” Jean pauses. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Not unless you can—” Emma stops herself. “No. No, thank you.”

And then they’re silent; Emma, watching as the sunlight in her room fades under cloud cover; and Jean, sitting quietly at the edge of Emma’s bed.

“Jean,” she says softly.

“Hm?”

“He clipped my wings,” Emma whispers. “I can’t fly.” A wave of nausea sweeps over her. She’s thought it so many times, had the thought rattle in her head and makes her sick in her heart and her stomach, but she’s never said it out loud. To hear the words out in the world for the first time is something else entirely. She closes her eyes, gulping.

For a moment, Jean says nothing. Emma imagines her wings are fluffed at the very thought.

“Emma, I’m so sorry…”

And then, after another, “Can I see?”

Emma opens her eyes, expecting to see some twisted kind of morbid curiosity in Jean’s eyes; as though her clipped wings are some kind of sick amusement. What she sees instead, is a kind of concern, wanting to see how bad the damage is, if there’s any hope of salvaging whatever’s left.

“If you must,” she whispers, and closes her eyes as she pulls the blankets down far enough to extend one wing. She doesn’t want to see what’s left, she doesn’t want to see what kind of damage Sinister had done to her wings. She’s already seen the bloody marks he’d left on her wings, the cuts and empty spaces where he’d ripped out feathers; she’d stopped looking at the new injuries after Sinister clipped her.

For a while, Jean says nothing. Emma doesn’t know if she should be relieved or terrified, if she would rather Jean be silent or not.

Then finally, the tanager lets out a breath and says slowly, “Are you...are you sure?”

Emma snaps her wing back, flinching at the pain that comes with the action. She opens her eyes, expecting a sneer on Jean’s face, but what she finds instead is...confusion. Genuine confusion.

And it lights a fire in Emma’s stomach. Didn’t Jean hear her? Sinister had clipped her wings. She can’t fly. Her throat scratches as she forces out her next words. “Yes, I’m sure, I--”

I felt him take a handful.

His harsh fingers digging into her wings as he took the scissors to her flight feathers. The snap as the scissors cut through the feather shaft.

She knows what she felt. She knows what she heard.

She shudders, curling tighter. Her voice lowers to a whisper. “I’m sure.”

“Emma, I--” Jean says, gently, but still confused, and sounding like she’s about to try to convince Emma of something. “I don’t doubt anything you’ve experienced in the slightest, but...but there’s no damage, Emma. All of your flight feathers are intact.”

Emma blinks. All of your flight feathers are intact. No. No, that can’t be, it can’t. Sinister had cut them, she felt it, she heard it, she knows what he did, and it was all because she had the audacity to try to escape. She rolls over halfway, wings tightly folded against her back. “They can’t be,” she breathes. “He cut them, I know, I—That’s not possible.” She knows what she felt, she knows what she heard.

“I know,” Jean says, and still, it’s so gentle, and it nearly drives Emma mad, “I do, but…” She shakes her head. “They’re all intact. I swear to you, Emma, they are. Not a barb out of place.”

“No,” Emma whispers. She pulls the blankets tight around her, shaking. It’s not possible. It’s not possible. He cut them, I watched him cut them. I felt it. I felt everything. How could that be? How could her flight feathers be perfectly intact? She knows what she felt, she knows when someone clips her wings, it isn’t possible, it isn’t, it can’t be, it—

Something occurs to her then, that wrenches her gut and brings tears to her eyes—and damn it, she doesn’t want to cry now, not in front of Jean— and she grips the pillow until her hand aches. She sniffs heavily, fighting to keep her voice in control.

“He’s— he’s a telepath, isn’t he?” Emma doesn’t wait for an answer. She buries her face in the pillow. He’s a damned telepath. I had that collar on—

“Yes.”

One word is all it takes. Emma sobs into the pillow, even as every breath she takes hurts her ribs and her shoulders. Sinister had never clipped her wings, had never been anywhere near them, but he’d made her think that, an illusion, from one telepath to the other, and she couldn’t tell because she’d had a power-dampening collar on.

“Oh, Emma. I’m so sorry.” She can hear Jean sigh and feel her shuffle closer, and all at once Emma wants her to stay and leave and get away from her— But Jean stays. She stays, and she rubs circles on Emma’s back, between her shoulders, and says nothing while Emma cries.

It’s not the revelation alone, it’s the month of pain and exhaustion and gnawing hunger and her failed escape attempt catching up to her. The realization that Sinister had made a fool of her—had put her under an illusion and let her spend the rest of her time thinking she would never fly again—that cuts her deeper than any scalpel. 

And once Emma’s worn herself out, she lays there, sniffling and blinking stray tears down the bridge of her nose, still with an iron grip on the pillow. She can’t deny she’s grateful for Jean’s company. 

The feeling she’s left with isn’t catharsis. It’s a deep, aching, heavy hurt. The kind that makes her chest tight. She’d been duped, and she’d let it happen.

But what she feels, more than anything, is betrayed.

“Don’t blame yourself,” Jean says softly. “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.”

I know. But I wish I had. Emma takes a deep breath. The sun peaks back through her window, warming her face. A reminder that her freedom is here to stay, and so is the sun. And with that, and Jean’s help, she’s able to sit up at the edge of the bed. 

Emma takes a tissue Jean offers her with a whispered “Thank you.” She wipes her eyes, blows her nose, and leans over, elbows on her thighs. Her body aches. The exhaustion comes back, tenfold. She’d like nothing more than to go back to sleep and wake up two days later. 

“Why don’t you take a look?” Jean offers after a moment. 

Emma’s wings feel heavier on her back. She’s not sure she wants to. “I don’t know that I want to…” What if Jean had been lying to her, too?

No. She would know it. 

She looks up at Jean. “Stay with me.”

“I will.”

Emma braces herself. She’s stopped looking at her wings since Sinister supposedly clipped her, she doesn’t know what they’ll look like. Hank had bandaged and stitched every little thing he could find, more than Emma ever realized she had. Even if her wings aren’t clipped...they’re still going to look incredibly rough. She doesn’t know if she’s prepared for either of those things. 

But she takes a breath, and slowly gingerly, mindful of the stitches and bandages, opens her wings, and one by one forces herself to look at them.

The feathers are stained pale red. Purple suture sticks out from underneath feathers. Awkwardly placed yet effective pads of gauze sticks out at odd angles, noticeable in the gaps between her feathers. The evidence of the very real damage Sinister had done is there. 

What isn’t there, or rather, what is, are the tips of her flight feathers. Rounded and untouched, not even the slightest evidence of a pair of scissors having ever touched them. She’s missing one, one of the ones Sinister pulled for his catalogue, but that one will grow back, as will all the others she’d lost. But the rest of her primaries are there. There, and intact. Just like Jean said. 

The tanager was right.

She leans into Jean’s shoulder with fresh tears. It’s not relief that makes her cry, not entirely, but a combination of relief and hurt. She hasn’t been clipped, she hasn’t been grounded. She can still fly. She can still feel the wind through her wings and the sun on her back. There’s nothing that will stop her once she’s fully healed.

She’d thought for so long she’d been clipped, and Sinister had let her think it for so long, just to keep her from running again. And that? That’s going to hurt her more than anything.

[locria-writes]

Omg do you have a snippet of MCs cherry pop with lothar??

i actually do

(also the first chunk was already posted here as a different snippet, but i never posted the ending, so here’s the full thing)

For as long as he can remember, Lothar never liked other people looking at what he thought was his. It was negligible at first, for his mentor made certain to destroy anything that could be deemed his own.

Maybe that’s why he feels the need to protect and hide away his belongings – including yourself.

It was too easy to convince you to shy away from the world. It took some carefully engineered incidents to terrify you, some creative use of his magic to pretend as though there were those out to harm you, and a few words to convince you to stay at his home. From there, it only got easier and easier to persuade you to stop your visitors, then to stop all social functions, and then to simply stay within your shared quarters.

But Lothar isn’t a heartless man. It pains him to hurt you in any way, but it’s the only way to keep you safe, hidden away from all that can possibly harm you.

Even if that means hurting you himself.

To the outside world, he merely tells them you’re ill, suffering from constant fatigue and dizziness. Nobody thinks to doubt him – the perfect gentleman, the kind and well-mannered dog of the court.

“My darling, were you all right without me?” There’s a rush of relief when he sees you in your chambers, as always. He knows it’s foolish to expect you anywhere else, but the fear is still there. He still remembers the panic when you went to visit your brother and weren’t back when he was.

He thought you’d left him, just like everyone else.

You’re sitting by your vanity, brushing those lovely locks of yours, as you turn to him. Your face lights up as you rush over to him, flinging your slender arms around his waist. “My lord…”

He chuckles, running a hand through your hair. “Did you miss me, my sweet girl?”

“I did.” Your voice is muffled as you nuzzle your face into his chest. “It was scary again today.”

“My poor girl is so brave.” Lothar leans down and kisses your cheek. “I’ll make it all better.”

He picks you up, cradling you close to his chest, and sits down your shared bed, with you on his lap “You must have been so scared.”

“Not while you’re here.” Your gaze is still fractured, and it hurts him to see you like this.

It hurts him more that a part of him is thrilled to see you like this.

He smiles wanly, brushing your hair once more. “Before that, I have a gift for you.”

“A gift?”

“Mhm.” He reaches into his pocket for the small jar he bought earlier. “I heard that this is popular with the young ladies.”

You take the ornate jar, examining the floral patterns on it. “What is it?”

“Rouge.”

You take off the lid, and the aromatic fragrance of it fills the room. The colour is a rich and deep red, not the colour you normally wear. “This must have cost you a small fortune.”

“It’s nothing compared to you.” Lothar takes one of your hands – so delicate and untainted – in his gloved ones, dipping one of your fingers into the pot. “Try it on. The colour might be deep, but I think it will suit you wonderfully.”

The bashful flush that dusts your cheeks wipes away the day’s fatigue. How wonderful it would be if he could spend the rest of his life only coaxing such adorable expressions from you. Forget everything and everyone – that would be his heaven on earth.

He gently uses your finger to paint your lips with the rouge. It’s a bit too heavy for someone as fresh-faced and innocent as yourself, but it’s a good match nonetheless, at least aesthetically. He’d much rather you only wear the light and pastel colours of youth, not the dark and mature colours of the jaded.

“You look lovely, my sweet girl,” he murmurs, raising your dirtied finger to his lips. “Absolutely stunning.”

Your shy expression as he licks your finger is bliss. The trembling of your lower lip when he begins to suck on it is almost too much for him.

He really wants to push you down and take you right then and there, but he’s a man of patience. You’re the most darling girl he’ll ever know, and you deserve to be worshipped thusly.

“M-my lord…” you murmur, voice quivering ever so slightly.

He hums around the digit, dragging his tongue from the base to the tip of it, relishing the quiet whimper that escapes you. He pulls away, purposely allowing for a trail of saliva to form to see your flushed cheeks grow darker. “Nothing should ever mar your beautiful skin, my dear girl.”

“Nothing but you, my lord.” The soft smile you give him feels like it can absolve him of all his sins.

“You’re absolutely adorable.” He pushes you down onto the bed, golden eyes flashing crimson for a second. “You make me feel like both a terrible man and the most blest.”

“You’re not a bad man.” You reach up to cup his face, but he grabs your wrist, and leans down to kiss you.

It starts off soft, lips moving against each other, breaths mingling together. Lothar drags his tongue against your bottom lip, almost reverently as though he seeks permission, which he knows you’ll grant without fail. You moan when his tongue touches yours, and your free arm grabs onto his hair, lightly tugging it.

He groans into the kiss, releasing your hand to reach for something under his pillow. You heed little attention to it as the kiss grows more and more fervent. It isn’t until you feel a prick of pain that you realize he grabbed a dagger and was slowly cutting off your dress.

He breaks the kiss first, smears of rouge left on his lips as he gives you a saccharine smile. “It seems I’ve ruined your rouge.”

“It’s fine if it’s you, my lord.” Your breath hitches as he tears off your dress, thin trails of blood following his blade. “What are you doing?”

“Have I ever told you how beautiful your skin is?” he whispers, dragging its tip along your stomach. “I want to keep it unblemished, but at the same time, it’s the perfect canvas.”

“I’m afraid… It hurts…”

“A love as grand as ours will always hurt.” His dagger digs into your upper thigh, your whimper of pain makes him chuckle. “How can there be love if there isn’t pain?”

“Please, my lord – “

“I understand.” He sets the blade down as he moves down to your leg. “It’s a shame for such beautiful skin to break, for such precious blood to be spilled.”

Your moan is of pain and bliss as his lips press against the cut. His tongue darts out, greedily lapping away at the blood that escapes from your wound. Your blood has always been special to him – it’s the only thing he’s ever been able to taste, and it tastes of heaven and innocence.

He wonders if it will still taste like that when he’s done with you.

Your trembling and whimpers all feed into his joy. Only he can hurt you like this, and only he can bring you such pleasure. It’s his utmost honour to be able to do so.

“My lord…! It hurts, it hurts!” He ignores your cries as his tongue digs into the cut. Your blood is just so intoxicating, so alluring…

“Please stop! Please…” You’re openly sobbing now, fingers tangled in his hands. “I can’t…it’s too painful…Lothar…”

The sound of his name leaving your sweet lips pull him out of his reverie. Lothar pulls away to see tears streaming down your face. He feels conflicted – on one hand, he wants to kiss away your tears and tell you everything will be all right, that he won’t hurt you, but on the other, he wants to hurt you. He wants to spill your blood and drink it all; he wants to wrap his hands around your dainty neck and see you struggle for breath; he wants to see your sweet face twisted in pain.

“Did it hurt?” he asks softly, licking his lips for any residual blood. “Did it scare you?”

You nod pitifully, eyes wide with fear. “That’s what I always dream of – of those shadows hurting me like that.”

“Ah, that sounds awful, my darling girl.” It’s too easy to feign a sympathetic look. He has no intentions in helping to allay the nightmares he’s so lovingly crafted.

When you’re awake, he’s there to soothe you, to play the part of the concerned lover. He’ll cradle you gently in his arms, kissing away your tears, and coaxing you to calmness with soothing nothings and by feeding you his blood, citing it as a way to keep any bad magic away from you.

When you’re asleep, he makes those dreams happen, twisting whatever pleasant ones you may have into nightmares. He longs to see you truly defiled like him, so you’ll never leave him. He longs to see the light in your eyes diminish, to see your innocence wither away by his hands so you can stand with him on equal grounds.

Lothar runs a gloved hand along your thigh. “Do you want me to make it better?”

“Please…” He loves hearing you whimper.

He smiles, lowering his head to between your legs. It’s a delicious sight, to see you already so wet for him. “You seem quite excited today, my darling. Maybe it didn’t hurt so much after all.”        

He doesn’t wait for your response, licking along your slit for your wonderful moans. It’s a shame he can’t taste for he’s certain he would love the taste of your honey. Instead, he settles for those seductive sounds you make as he pushes his tongue inside of you. Your hands are gripping his hair so tightly that it hurts, but it’s a satisfying hurt. It’s not like the pain he used to feel.

“You’re so wet,” he murmurs against your folds. “So wet, and just for me, darling girl.”

“Please…don’t tease….me…” You moan loudly this time as he gives you a few nips, feeling the pleasure spread throughout your body.

It only adds to his feast, luckily. He begins licking and sucking, determined not to let a single drop of you go to waste. How heavenly you must taste. “You’re…just overflowing…” He continues, ignoring the slight ache in his jaw. Your sweet moans are reward enough for him as you come for him over and over.

You’re a trembling mess by the time he pulls away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before licking that off. The sight of you -- legs splayed out, slick with sweat and your own honey, ruined rouge, and a flushed with teary eyes brings his attention to the uncomfortable strain in his trousers.

“Are you all right?” He tucks a lock of hair behind your ear. “Was that too much?”

You shake your head, though he figures you’re lying. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“It’s…it’s not fair if only I get something…” Your eyes dart away from his, and it’s so cute he almost laughs.

“I can take care of it myself.”

“No!” You grab his arm, albeit rather weakly. “I…um…I want to help…”

He almost believes he misheard you until you reach for his trousers with a red face. “My dear rose, you needn’t do this.”

“But I want to!” You pout, and his heart melts. “We…um…we still haven’t….m-made love…”

Your sentiment is so adorable, but he shakes his head. “We just did.”

“That was just you loving me though.”

“That’s enough for me.”

“No, it isn’t.” In his lowered guard, you somehow manage to undo his trousers.

“Please, my lord, Lothar – “

That’s all it takes for him to indulge you. He tugs off his clothes hastily but loses his nerve as his length touches your entrance. “Are you absolutely certain?”

“Yes, please.” Your voice is breathy as you stare up at him. “Please make love to me.”

He pushes inside you, slowly to gauge your response. You wince at first at the unfamiliarity, and your arms start to wrap around his back, but his holds your hands down instead, lacing his fingers through yours. “It hurts at first, my love. But it’ll be over soon.”

“You’re so warm.” Lothar groans once he’s fully inside, reluctant to start moving as your walls tighten around him. “So tight, so soft.”

“It…hurts a little…” You’re squeezing his hands tightly and he can see the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes.

“It’ll hurt more if I don’t move.” He makes a few shallow thrusts, and your moans are slightly pained. “It’ll feel good later.”

You slowly nod your assent, and he slowly begins to move, getting deeper and deeper with each thrust, and your moans growing more and more pleasured.

“You feel…so good…” The words almost get caught in his throat. “I love you, my darling…. I love you so…so much…”

“I…I love you too…Lothar…”  

Somehow, that ruins him entirely. The measured pace he so painstakingly maintained is gone now, replaced by a wild and erratic one. He pulls out of you, smirking at your needy whine.

Gone now was the fear of hurting you, and now he only wishes to see you in pain.

He lets go of your hands, gripping onto your hips with bruising force as he lifts them off the bed, changing the angle so he can hit deeper inside of you.

“Does it hurt?”  

You don’t respond, instead, crying out as he re-enters you.  

“You’re…a lewd girl…aren’t you?” He pounds into you with such fervour that it almost seems angry. “The sweet…innocent girl…likes being fucked like this…”

Your arms wrap around his back, fingernails digging painfully into his back, but it feels so wonderful with your lovely sounds.

He doesn’t know how many times you come until he does. He almost forgets to pull out, and it isn’t until he feels himself over the edge. He spills himself over your stomach, and that snaps him out of his

It was close – too close. He just got you, how could he possibly lose you?

“Lothar…”  

“What is it, my darling?” He wraps his arms around, careful not to touch the cuts from before.

“Do you really love me?”

What a silly question. “Of course, I do.” He kisses your sweaty forehead. “I love you more than anything in this world.”

Your eyes tell him you don’t believe him, but before he can question you further, you snuggle up against him. Your breathing becomes even, and you’ve fallen asleep.

Lothar sits there, stroking your hair absently. If you’re questioning him like this, you must know something.

Whatever it is, he’ll destroy it and remove it from your memory. You should only remember the good things that he does, and the evil things of the world.

You should only remember that you are his, and he is yours.

The rest of the world can burn for all he cares.

[kookiesjar]

Takane No Hana Part 1

Hello, I’m back from the dead. Will soon comeback with BTS x Reader fics but I really wanted to get this out. Enjoy ~ 

Summary: Hanahaki disease is an illness from a one-sided love. Patients will cough up petals in earlier stages and at later stages they will cough up whole flowers. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.It all began with a single petal. Taehyung has been diagnosed with Hanahaki Disease and the longer he goes on loving Jungkook, the more the pain of a one-sided love grows inside him. Who knew loving could be so deadly.

Word Count: 3148

Part 1 of 3

Genre: Angst. Tragic Romance

When it first began, Taehyung was choking inside the library’s bathroom stall. He coughed violently when he felt it first come up. Tears streaked down his face as he stared at the toilet water. Many thoughts ran through his head, he wanted to understand why he suddenly felt so sick. Did he catch a new strain of the flu? What his body had been trying to expel finally came out, dancing in the air slowly as it made its way into the toilet bowl. Floating on the toilet water was a single lilac petal. Taehyung began to laugh hysterically. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. He flushed the toilet and stepped out of the bathroom stall; Jimin watched him with eyes wide open as he came out.

“Are you okay?” he asked, worry laced in his voice for his best friend. Taehyung shook his head. 

“I’m fine,” he replied. Jimin continued to stare at his best friend. There was something off about Taehyung when he walked out of the bathroom stall, but he knew he would eventually tell him when he was ready. Taehyung lightly pounded on his chest, as there was a dull uncomfortable but bearable pain every time he breathed in. He cleared his throat, grabbing water with his palms and rinsing his mouth. It tasted like a flower. 

Taehyung grabbed his bag and quickly got up, he wanted to escape the room before he bumped into Jungkook. He didn’t know when it was that he fell in love with him. He didn’t know how he fell in love with him. He was only ever supposed to be just a brother to him. Much to his dismay, Jungkook approached Taehyung with a wide grin on his face and his girlfriend right beside him. She was smaller than Jungkook and beautiful to top it all off. Most importantly, she somehow managed to make Jungkook shine brighter and vice versa. Taehyung smiled at them both. There it was again, the stabbing dull ache everytime he breathed in. The pain was growing inside him. He tried his best to keep his composure so as not to call attention to himself.

“Hyung, we were thinking of going to eat, do you wanna go?” Jungkook offered. Taehyung’s vision began to blur as he stared at their hands clasped together. 

“What the hell,” was the last thing Taehyung managed to say before he collapsed. Everything went dark and cold.

In Taehyung’s unconsciousness, he relived the day Jungkook told him he loved his girlfriend, over and over. That’s when the petal incident happened. He immediately felt nauseous and had to run to the bathroom, he never knew a pain so painful. The thing is, he didn’t know when he fell in love with Jungkook. They’ve known each other since they were children, but the sight of Jungkook’s happy smile and eye smiles when he said he loved her. It tore Taehyung into pieces. 

Taehyung gasped in the air as he woke up. A big warm hand held tightly onto his. It was Jungkook. The younger was soundly asleep, laying his head on the bed to rest momentarily. His heart was at peace at the moment, but the pain in his chest did not subside. There was a knock at the door, causing Jungkook to jump up and wipe the drool of his cheek. Taehyung chuckled as the doctor walked in. 

“How are you feeling there?” the doctor inquired. Taehyung gave him a small smile, with Jungkook here, he didn’t know whether to lie or not. 

“I’ve got a little chest pain,” it was a half truth. The pain was slowly starting to grow in him, making it hard to breathe. The doctor nodded.

“Do you have someone responsible over you? A parent? Relative?” the doctor questioned. Taehyung nodded, on his records for everything it was Jimin. Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear. Jimin slid the hospital room door open.

“Tae, are you okay?” he cried. Taehyung’s eyes went wide with worry. He wouldn’t be able to hide this from Jimin for long, it was bound to come out. He knew he had to tell him today. Jungkook stood up from his seat, allowing Jimin to sit there.

“Min, I’m fine,” Taehyung reassured his best friend. The doctor turned to the both of them with x-ray scans. Jungkook’s doe eyes went wide as he caught a glimpse of the scan before the doctor asked him to leave the room. Flowers were growing inside of him. Jungkook took his leave and leaned against the wall next to the door, he wanted to try to eavesdrop. There was only one question on his mind, who was Taehyung in love with? Jimin began to sob as he saw the x-rays. A single flower was growing in Taehyung’s left lung, it was a death sentence. The three of them knew. 

“Taehyung has Hanahaki,” the doctor explained to Jimin, as Taehyung was still slightly high on pain medication. Jimin shook his head in denial, there was no way that could be it; Taehyung never once mentioned anyone to him. Realization hit Jimin when he remembered the day at the library. It was Jungkook. 

“Hanahaki is a very common disease but also deadly if you leave it be. In your case Taehyung you are still in the first stages. You can get it surgically removed but as you both may know, that will also mean the loss of romantic feelings for the person,” the doctor explained. Jimin immediately knew he wanted Taehyung to get surgery, but he also knew Taehyung hated it when others made decisions for him. He turned to Taehyung, giving him the chance to make up his mind for himself.

“Most times, we will give you time to think about what course you want to take but I want you to know if things do not work out, it will 100% kill you,” the doctor stated, sighed and continued, “I recommend surgery as soon as possible.” Taehyung shook his head fervently. Jimin observed Taehyung intensely, waiting on his answer.

“I know, Min. I’m endangering my life, but I want to cherish these feelings at least a little  longer before I get surgery,” Taehyung explained. Jimin frowned, he didn’t agree but if it was what his best friend wanted, he couldn’t say no. The doctor turned to Jimin for an answer on the course to take. 

“We’ll wait,” Jimin agreed. The doctor nodded and wrote on his clipboard.

“I will prescribe you pain medication to help with your chest discomfort, I do warn though it does not make the pain go away. It only subsides it slightly,” the doctor informed them both before he walked out of the room to give them both privacy. Jungkook cleared his throat to announce his entrance, the air hanging heavy in the room. Taehyung looked up and smiled at him. Jimin couldn’t stand to face him at the moment, there was an anger fueling in him towards the boy. 

“So, are you going to be okay?” Jungkook asked. He knew the answer to that, what he really wanted to ask was if he was going to get surgery. Jungkook just didn’t feel it was right to ask or to even leave the slightest hint that he had a clue about what was going on yet. He wanted Taehyung to tell him himself. It ached his chest to see Taehyung give him his usual boxy smile.

“I’m perfectly fine, just bad heartburn,” Taehyung lied. He knew love was painful, he just didn’t think it would quite literally kill him. Jungkook surveyed Taehyung’s face, he knew he was lying, he just didn’t know why he wouldn’t tell him the truth. It kind of irritated him, because he didn’t know why he had to be kept from the truth as if he were still a little kid. 

“If you say so,” Jungkook mumbled under his breath as he stomped out of the hospital room. Jimin got up, ready to give him an earful but Taehyung grabbed his arm before he could get any further.

“It’s okay,” Taehyung said, “Let him go. It’s better if he doesn’t know.” Jimin turned back at him, eyebrows raised.

“What do you mean? You’re not going to tell him?” Jimin asked. Taehyung shook his head slowly. It’s better if he doesn’t know, he thinks to himself. It would just further complicate things.

Taehyung dropped on his bed, stuffing his face in his pillow. He hadn’t seen Jungkook in a week. He was also starting to get used to the uncomfortable feeling in his chest. There was a light rapping on his door. Jimin walked in with his medication and a cup of water. Sometimes Jimin made Taehyung feel like a child, not that he minded, it was nice to be taken care of sometimes. Taehyung placed the two small pills in his mouth and swallowed.

“Do they make you feel better?” Jimin asked curiously. Taehyung gave him a small shrug, they didn’t really do much for him besides subdue the pain a little less. At least he didn’t constantly feel like he was choking. 

“Have you talked to Jungkook?” Taehyung wondered. His best friend shook his head sadly. Neither of them had seen the younger and Jungkook hadn’t bothered to come visit to see if Taehyung was okay. It stung at Taehyung’s wounds to know that maybe in fact Jungkook didn’t even at least love him as a friend or older brother. He was starting to feel like he was nothing to Jungkook. 

“You have to go to the hospital tomorrow right, do you want me to go with you?” Jimin offered. Taehyung snapped out of his thoughts and shook his head, he was alright going on his own. He didn’t want to feel more like a burden to his best friend.

Taehyung stepped into the hospital room, a cold gust of wind hit his chest causing him to cough uncontrollably and cough up a petal. He quickly shoved it in his pocket, scoffing in disgust. Sure, he wanted to cherish his love for Jungkook but he just hated coughing up petals in public, it was embarrassing. The hospital smelled of disinfectant. He never felt anything towards hospitals but lately it was a different story, because the hospital to him was synonymous to bad news. There really wasn’t much for the doctor to tell him other than he was closer to death with each passing minute. He walked up to the reception desk and beamed at the nurse. The nurse checked him in and sent him on his way to the doctor. He let out a loud sigh and gazed at the white tiling. He really didn’t want to hear what the doctor had to say, there was nothing to say. The flowers are growing. They’re going to continue growing and there was no way to get Jungkook to fall in love with him because Jungkook has a girlfriend and has also been avoiding him like a plague. His thoughts were killing him more than the flowers in this silence. The doctor called Taehyung in.

“How are you feeling?” the doctor asked him per protocol.

“My chest is fine, the medication is helping tremendously,” Taehyung answered. The doctor shook his head, that wasn’t the answer he was looking for. 

“No, I mean how are you doing?” he asked again. 

“I don’t know. I know in the end I am going to get surgery but I don’t think I can wrap my head around a life without loving him…” Taehyung trailed off. The doctor nodded. That was always the case with most patients, it wasn’t anything new to him. Humans were built to love, to take that love away would deprive them of feeling human. 

Taehyung walked out of the appointment feeling even more listless. The doctor recommended him to go to therapy for help and then sent him off to pick up his prescription. Taehyung ruffled his hair, frustrated that he was even in this situation to begin with. During his fit he accidentally bumped into another man. He was small but he had a cold piercing gaze and a confidence that Taehyung could never match up to. 

“Watch where you’re going,” the man hissed at him. Taehyung backed up, hands in the air. 

“Sorry, I’m just here to pick up my prescription,” Taehyung explained, showing him the paper. The man’s gaze fell and his face softened. He showed Taehyung his prescription. They were the same.

After picking up their prescriptions, the two sat together outside the hospital to talk and confide in each other. It was easier to talk to someone who understood you. Taehyung handed the man a cola can. 

“My name is Yoongi by the way,” he introduced himself. Taehyung gave him a small smile and introduced himself too. They sat in silence for a minute, understanding the situation the two were in and empathizing with each other. There was no feeling more painful than feeling suffocated by your own love for someone. 

“How long have you had it?” Taehyung finally asked. He had secretly been dying to know, especially because Hanahaki advanced quickly. Yoongi  took a sip of the cola and looked up at the sky. The weather was perfect today to spend with your significant other. 

“My love for him is finding roots in my lungs,” Yoongi began. Taehyung’s eyes went wide, realizing how advanced Yoongi was. He has clearly had it for a while already, much longer than Taehyung. Yoongi looked at Taehyung and gave him a gummy grin to reassure him. Whenever he told people what stage he was in, they would begin to pity him.

“It’s a pitable disease,” Yoongi stated. Taehyung crushed the can in his hand, his heart could only wish to do the same for his feelings towards Jungkook.

“You’d think that people would be smarter and not continue falling for people who don’t love them back…” Yoongi ranted. Taehyung looked up from the can in his hand and watched Yoongi. It was a pitiable disease. Pitiable because it’s inevitable to fall in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way.

“You can’t control your feelings,” Taehyung claimed. Yoongi shook his head. He observed the ground, something he found himself doing often lately. He knew that we are not able to control our feelings, but you’d think… the heart would be smarter about it so as to avoid such a painful death. You’d think the body would want to survive more than anything, but it allows something like unreciprocated love to kill it. Taehyung breathed in deeply, catching Yoongi’s attention, worry glazed over his eyes. 

“This love I have, it’s consuming me… and I don’t know what to do,” Taehyung despaired. Yoongi took Taehyung’s hands in his. His eyes pierced Taehyung’s.

“Love is supposed to be something great. You know, like the ones out of the movies. Where they love each other limitlessly and the only thing getting in their way is their parents. It’s not supposed to hurt, at least not like this. But we’re idiots Taehyung. We love people who could never love us back. Only a miracle could save us. There is nothing you can do,” Yoongi sighed. Taehyung let his head hang. Yoongi was right, there was nothing he could do. 

Yoongi dropped his prescription bag on the table. There was an extra pair of shoes in the cubicles in front of his front door. They were most definitely Hoseok’s. He opened his prescription bottle and popped the pills in his mouth as soon as Hoseok walked in with a glass of water. Hoseok made sure he never missed a beat to take care of Yoongi, but Yoongi knew he did it out of guilt. He selfishly accepted it, because at least he knew Hoseok cared one way or another. At this point, Yoongi was grasping onto straws in hopes that Hoseok would love him back eventually.

“You wouldn’t have to take these pills if you would just get the surgery you know,” Hoseok began. Yoongi furiously shook his head at Hoseok. If he were in this position then he would understand Yoongi’s predicament. 

“No, not yet. What if you do end up falling in love with me and I miss the chance to finally be mutually in love,” as soon as those words slipped out his mouth he began to cough harshly into his hand. Hoseok ran up to Yoongi, worry written on his face. Yoongi pulled his hand away from his mouth, his pale palm was now red. He quickly hid it from Hoseok whose eyes were already wide with fear. They both knew if he waited any longer he could die. Hoseok grabbed Yoongi by the shoulders and pulled him in for a tight hug.

“Please, please get surgery. I’m not worth your life,” Hoseok begged. Tears began to silently stream down Yoongi’s cheeks. There was no way he was going to get surgery yet.

“No, I’m going to hold out ‘till the last minute, just in case by a miracle you fall in love with me,” Yoongi proclaimed. Hoseok sighed, the guilt was eating away at him that Yoongi’s life was basically in his hands. They stood in each other’s arms in silence for what felt like eternity.

“Fine,” Hoseok finally agreed.

Taehyung lounged on the couch as Jimin warmed up tea for him. Still no sign of Jungkook. There was a deafening silence that filled the house with Jungkook’s absence, it was something Taehyung couldn’t get used to. Jimin handed him his cup of tea and took a seat next to him. Jimin attempted to make conversation with Taehyung but his head was in the clouds. There had been two questions constantly bothering Taehyung, the first was why he never noticed he loved Jungkook and the second was he wanted to know when he first fell in love with Jungkook. Was it when they first met or was it when Jungkook who was really shy first smiled at him. He thinks it was neither of those, but the day that Taehyung was being bullied by his peers and Jungkook came running to his rescue. Taehyung was ten and Jungkook was eight, it didn’t matter how much younger Jungkook was than Taehyung, he was always much cooler than him. Taehyung began to think that it was a good thing that Hanahaki only ever really affected teenagers and adults, or else he would’ve died at an early age. There was just really no way not to fall in love with Jungkook. He was great and he was him. Taehyung’s thoughts were interrupted by his cough, it sounded like he was going to cough up a lung. It wasn’t a lung he coughed up, but a whole flower. A mallow flower. Jimin looked at the flower that was on Taehyung’s lap and then back up at his best friend. 

“You have to get surgery soon or you’re going to die,” Jimin asserted. 

-----------

Part 2. 

[bitionraingang]

One Leads to Another pt.2

It sucks, but hope y’all enjoy it!

As I waited for Changmo to come to the table, I texted Chang Ill that we were in a cafe and that he can go home, which he replied with a big “NO!” to. We were finally seated in front of each other by the window. He took a sip of the hot chocolate that he ordered for both of us.

“So, how’s work going for you?” I started.

“Good, I got a new album out recently and I’m working on a single for now.”

“I heard your new album. It was good.” I replied.

“Yeah? Which was your favorite?” He asked.

“I liked Night Letter and Wrist Watch.” I said smiling.

He smiled back and said, “I was thinking of you when I wrote Night Letter.”

Shocked, I brought my hand to my mouth.

“What?”

“You were my muse for that song.”

“No way…”

“Yes way.”

My heart felt so fuzzy and began to race uncontrollably.

“Thank you.” I said.

“No, thank you. Because of that song, my album got a lot of recognition. I owe it all to you.” He said taking my hand.

“What about you? How have you been?” He asked.

“Umm.. you see… this is the reason why I needed to meet you. First I’m going to explain why I didn’t come earlier. Okay?” I said with a shaky voice.

“Is something wrong?” He asked worried.

“I was afraid at first about what you would think of me. Would you think I did on purpose, I was lying to you. And then I was being eaten by the thoughts of you telling me to get rid of it or even take my baby away from me. I was scar-”

“Baby?” He said taking away his hand.

“Wha- what do you mean?”

“Changmo, I’m pregnant.”

“What?”

“And you’re the father.”

“No way.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want things to becom-”

“You said you were on birth control.” He cut me off.

“I was. For the past 3 years, but birth control isn’t 100% effective.”

“Bu- but..”

“The reason why I came to speak to you today is not to throw sudden responsibility on you. I’ve thought about it for the past 4 months and it was only right for you to know, as the father, of your son. I don’t expect you to throw away everything to take on the proper role for our mistakes. But I’m here to ask you to let me please keep the baby. If you decide to not be a part of the baby’s life, then please I will never bring you into the picture ever again, so please don’t take him away from me.” At this point I was sobbing.

“I will understand and accept your decision, but let me keep my son please.”

Changmo stared at me blankly. He mouth was slightly agape. We sat in silence for a good 10 minutes.

“I… I…” He started.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not ready to become a dad.”

My heart squeezed with pain, as if I were shot. With tears brimming, I nodded.

“I understand… I wasn’t ready to become a mom too, but here I am.” I smiled sadly.

“I’m sorry y/n, but there’s so many things I have to do.”

I shook my head. “Just promise me that you won’t interfere with our lives. Please.”

He nodded. Feeling some sort of relief, I thanked him.

“That’s all I have. Sorry and thank you Changmo. Goodbye.” I said getting up.

“Can I…” He stopped me.

I turned to face him.

“Can I give you one last hug?” He asked.

I nodded with a smile. He pulled me into a hug burying his face into the crook of my neck. I was patting his back as he tightened his grip.

“Changmo, it’s too tight.” I muffled, my stomach feeling suffocated.

“Sorry…” He said slightly pulling away. His eyes ran from my face to my bulging stomach. His warm hand moved from my back to the top of my stomach. Where his hand was placed felt like it was burning.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered tears brimming in his eyes.

“We’ll be okay.” I whispered back placing my hand above his.

And with one last peck, I walked away with a pained heart, but with relief. I was about to press the call button on Chang Ill’s number, but stopped myself. I didn’t want him to see me crying. Mommy is hurt Peach. But I will only cry today okay? I thought as tears escaped my eyes. I made it home and slumped on the couch. I couldn’t hold in the tears that I’ve kept in for so long. I was expecting that kind of reaction from Changmo, but I guess somewhere in my heart, I wanted him to come and be with us. I cried my heart out as I rubbed my belly. I will only cry for today I promised myself. As I got up for a cup of water, my phone buzzed.

Did you go home?

-Chang Ill

I completely forgot that he was waiting for me and I came home without telling him.

Do you want me to come to you?

We could eat ice cream and watch movies!

-Chang Ill.

Sorry I completely forgot you were waiting for me… I’ll give you a call tomorrow, I want to sleep early today. I texted back. He probably knew that the conversation didn’t go well.

Okay, let me know if you need me. I love you, good night.

-Chang Ill.

I sighed at the last message feeling relieved at the fact that there is at least someone I can rely on. After filling a glass of water, I headed for my bedroom and sighed at the endless amounts baby furniture that Chang Ill and the other 1lliambition boys bought for me. Not wanting to do anything that required me to move around, I simply laid down resting on my side.

5 months have passed since that day, I was about to give birth soon. Chang Ill helped me come about the pain by hanging out with me more which led to more rumors. It was an ordinary day, I was supposed to meet with Chang Ill, but an important meeting for his work came up so I decided to travel the city by myself. I had my earphones on, listening to Hash Swan’s new album as I took a sip of my iced peach green tea. I looked around, looking for stores to go into until I felt a strong pull in my stomach. Something didn’t feel right. I was about to sit down at a bench until I felt water drizzling down my legs. My eyes widened realizing I was going into labor. “Fuck.” I muttered. Rummaging through my bag, I frantically looked for my phone. Once I was able to get a hold of my phone, I immediately dialed my emergency contact.

“Fuck… pick up…” I said.

Hey, still in the meeting, I’ll give you a call in 10 minutes.

-Chang Ill

Chang Ill, my water broke.

After that message, there was a call immediately.

“Where are you? Are you home right now?” He shouted panicking. I could hear his voice echoing, probably running in the halls of the studio.

“I’m at the cafe we went to the other day… near Swan’s new store…” I replied as calmly as possible.

“Why are you out?! I told you not to leave anywhere without me.” He scolded.

“I’m sorry… Chang Ill, should I call an ambulance?” I asked.

“No, I’ll be there in 5 minutes.” He said before hanging up.

“Ma’am are you okay?” a young man approached me. He saw the puddle by my legs as I stood in a weird position.

“Do you need me to call help?” He asked.

I shook my head no, “my fri-friend is on the way. He’s coming soon…” I tried to reply, softly.

“Would you like me to stand here with you as you wait?” He asked.

“Yes, please. If you don’t mind.” He immediately grabbed onto my arms, trying to help me keep balance. I tightly gripped his arm as I felt my contractions.

“Sorry, this baby is eager to get out.” I stated with a nervous chuckle.

“That’s okay, it’ll be okay. Do you know when your fri-”

“Y/n! I’m here!” Chang Ill yelled getting out of his porsche.

“Thank you.” I said with a smile to the young man that stood with me. A crowd of people was forming as they realized the rapstar that was here. Chang Ill tried shielding me from the phones of the people as he sat me down in the passenger seat.

“Hold on, okay? Everything will be okay.” He reassured me.

I nodded before he closed the door to run over to the driver’s seat and zoomed off to the nearest hospital.

After a dreadful 17 hours of labor, I finally gave birth to a beautiful baby boy whom I named Young Hoo, Lee Young Hoo.

I had my eyes closed until I heard the door open. Chang Ill came in, rolling Young Hoo’s bed. I smiled and tried to sit up.

“Stay still. I’ll help you in a few” he stopped me.

After parking the bed right beside my bed, Chang Ill helped me to sit up. I looked at him as he ever so softly held Young Hoo in his arms.

“He’s so beautiful.” He said with sparkling eyes. As Young Hoo came into my arms, I couldn’t help, but to tear up.

“I can’t believe this.” I whispered. Chang Ill sat down beside me placing his hands on my thighs.

“You did it. You’re going to do so well and I’m going to be next to you in every step of the way, okay?”

I nodded with trembling lips. He pulled me into a warm hug and pecked my temple. We pulled away at the sound of the door opening once again. In came Dong Gab, Sungbin, Stephanie, Joonkyung, and Jinyoung.

“Hey, congratulations y/n!” They said coming in.

“Shhhhh….” Chang Ill shushed them pointing to Young Hoo in my arms.

“Wow, I understand why people would think you guys are a family.” Jinyoung commented looking from afar. Chang Ill and I smiled at each other, I was thanking him with my eyes and it seemed like he understood it.

After everyone took turns holding Young Hoo and conversing with me, one by one, took their leave.

Chang Ill stayed behind and even asked Dong Gab for a few weeks off to help me settle in with the newborn which I immediately refused to, but Dong Gab insisted on it.

“Are you okay?” Chang Ill asked while I was breastfeeding Young Hoo for the first time. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Young Hoo and just nodded.

“I’m happy. Thank you Chang Ill, for everything.” He shook his head, saying that he did nothing.

“You know, people really think that Young Hoo is my son after the video of us rushing to the hospital.”

I looked up at Chang Ill’s face.

“As long as you’re okay, I don’t mind.” I replied.

“I don’t mind people thinking that as long as you’re okay.” I said once more.

Chang Ill smiled, “Then I don’t care too.”

We were finally on the way home. There were even more rumors about Chang I’ll getting secretly married, having a child, and more as photos of Chang Ill and I leaving the hospital with a baby were released by fans. Chang Ill didn’t approve or deny anything, but posted photos of Young Hoo on his instagram which resulted in his posts firing up within seconds.

“Hey.”

“Hmm?” He hummed looking up from the sleeping Young Hoo.

“It’s been two weeks now, shouldn’t you get back to work? Or at least stop with posting Young Hoo on your story? People are literally attacking you..”

He walked away from the crib to take a seat next to me on the couch.

“Dong Gab said I could take as much time as I was off since I released 3 albums in the course of 2 months and who cares what other people think?!” He shrugged.

I sighed, lightly slapping his thigh.

“Did Changmo contact you yet?” He asked.

I froze at his name. Shaking my head, I said,

“I told him not to and he hasn’t. Which is good.”

“I mean, but he’s the dad. He’s not even a bit curious? He probably saw the pictures of us and he even saw my stories of Young Hoo, but he hasn’t even contacted me.” He replied.

“Is that why you keep posting on your story?” I asked.

Like a burglar caught in action, his eyes widened and vigorously shook his head no.

“I just want to share Young Hoo to the world.”

“Whatever Chang Ill. You should really go home now. You haven’t gone home in 2 weeks.” I said getting up to fold the small clothes I had hand washed with the help of Chang Ill before.

“I’m fine. I like being here with you guys.” He said following behind me.

“Chang Ill… you can’t keep doing this… I know, I know it’s because you care and maybe even pity us.” I sighed.

“What?” He exclaimed turning me around to face him.

“What do you mean? Of course I care, but what do you mean pity you? Where did you get that thought?”

Tears were welling up in my eyes and I couldn’t face him.

“No, stop. Don’t turn away from me. Tell me what you mean by that.” He said palming my cheeks that were getting wet with my tears.

“Y/n. I don’t know if you noticed, but I like you. I like you more than a friend. And I want to become a part of your lives.” He whispered.

My eyes widened. I didn’t know that Chang Ill had liked me more than a friend.

“I… I… didn’t know that… Chang Ill, you could do so much better than me. I have a son, that’s not even your child…” I said surprised.

He continued to hold me and looked deeply into my eyes.

“I don’t care. I love you for who you are and Young Hoo for who he is. He’s practically my son.” And my tears were activated like a waterfall. I couldn’t stop crying. Chang Ill pulled me into his arms and rubbed my back, trying to soothe me.

“I want to become a part of your lives.” He whispered.

I pulled away lightly, “Chang Ill I’m thankful for everything, but I can’t do that to you. You deserve so much better.”

He pulled me back into a hug and dug his face in the crook of my neck, “No. Don’t say that. Please. I want this. I want you. I want Young Hoo.”

I stroked the back of his neck. “Are you sure?” I asked.

He pulled away and with tearful eyes, he nodded. “I know I want this.”

Young Hoo was now 6 months old. Chang Ill and I were doing better than ever as we were deeply in love not only with Young Hoo but also each other.

“Y/n! I need another diaper!” Chang Ill yelled from the bedroom.

“Ugh! He always forgets.” I muttered as I let go of the laundry and trotted up the stairs. Just as I was going to nag him about forgetting to refill the diapers, I saw him leaning into blow bubbles on Young Hoo’s tiny belly which made him squirm in glee. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight and walked over.

“Chang Ill, I love you, but please stop forgetting to refill the diapers….” I said as I peck the side of his head.

“Oh my gosh and don’t forget to take a shower… you stink.” I said pulling away.

“I think we both need to take a shower babe.” He said as he changed Young Hoo’s diaper.

We were happily living in the moment. I got rid of social media of any sort because somehow people had found my accounts and started terrorizing me about Chang Ill. Knowing that, Chang Ill stopped posting about us and tried his best to focus on his music.

An alarm went off to feed Young Hoo. I picked him up and sat down on the feeding chair.

“How much longer are you supposed to breastfeed him for?” Chang Ill sked grabbing the bib and placed it under Young Hoo’s chin.

“I read around 6 months is good, so soon slowly start with formula and soft foods.” I replied.

“Can you get me the pillow over there?” I asked. Chang Ill walked over and helped me get comfortable with the pillow. After getting situated, he took a seat on the arm of the chair. He stroked the back of my hair as he looked at the two of us.

“Is something wrong?” I asked as I heard him sigh.

“Umm… I should probably tell you.” He started.

“Tell me what?” I asked.

“Changmo has been contacting me for the past couple of months…”

“What? Why?” I asked.

“Well… he obviously heard about Young Hoo and wanted to see him. I told him you wouldn’t like that, but he kept insisting. He wanted to call you, but didn’t have any way around it.” He sighed.

“He promised to stay out of our lives…” I sighed stroking the side of Chang Ill’s thighs.

“But you know, he does have the right to meet Young Hoo at least once.” Chang Ill said trying to persuade me.

“I will only if you’re there..” I said softly which he returned a nod with a big smile.

“Does the baby bag have extra clothes Chang Ill?” I yelled from the bathroom.

“Yep. I just put it in.”

“Okay, thanks.” I replied as I finally got my hair in a ponytail.

Chang Ill peeped his head into the door and asked,

“Ready to leave?”

“Yup.” I answered.

I walked over to pick up Young Hoo who was engrossed in playing with the new toy that Dong Gab had got for him for turning 6 months old.

“Let’s go baby.” I said pecking the top of his head.

“Porsche or Wagon?” Chang Ill asked before opening the front door.

“Babe. Young Hoo needs to go too, of course the bigger one.” I replied with an ‘are you serious’ look.

Chang Ill laughed and opened the door for us to walk out. Once we got off the elevator, I buckled Young Hoo into the car seat, I walked over to the passenger seat and sat as Chang Ill got the car ready to leave.

“Are you okay?” He asked grabbing my hand with his right hand.

I took in a deep breath, “I’m just nervous that’s all.”

“Don’t be. I’m here for you. Okay?” He reassured me which I responded with a nod and a big smile.

“Thank you.” Chang Ill returned the smile and placed a peck on my lips.

We were finally in front of the restaurant that we decided to meet up at with Changmo. Chang Ill got out first to get Young Hoo out of the car seat as I sat in the front trying to calm myself down. The door of the passenger side opened and there stood a tired Young Hoo, who just woke up from his quick nap, cuddled into Chang Ill’s neck.

“Everything will be fine. Trust me Y/n. Okay?” He said with eyes full of care. I nodded and got out of the car. As Chang Ill held Young Hoo in one hand, he held my hand in the other and we walked into the restaurant.

“Hi, we have a reservation for 4 under Chang Ill.” He told the host.

“Follow me this way please.” The host directed us to a private room. The people in the restaurant were going crazy as they saw Chang Ill walking in with a baby and a woman whom he was holding hands with. I tried to hide behind him as people were taking pictures and videos. Finally we were led to the room and the door closed. Chang Ill sat Young Hoo down in the highchair and took a seat in the middle. He saw me being tense once again and turned to calm me down. He was murmuring sweet words into my ear as he held my tightly by my waist. Just as he placed a peck on my temple, the door opened. I wasn’t active on social media after my last trimester with Young Hoo so I had no idea what to expect when Changmo walked in. There he was, with a smile, shining so brightly, flaunting his now natural brown hair.

“Hey, how have you guys been?” He asked as Chang Ill got up to give him a handshake.

“Good. You?” Chang Ill asked as they hugged.

“I’ve been doing good.” Changmo replied.

I was standing behind Chang Ill still nervous to greet Changmo

Chang Ill moved to the side and I came face to face with Changmo

“Hey, y/n.” Changmo said opening his arms.

I moved up to give him a hug.

“Hey Mo. Good to see you.”

“I missed you.” He said tightening the hug.

“Me too…” I said returning the hug.

We pulled away and I turned to Chang Ill who was smiling at me.

“Well, let’s sit down.” He said holding onto my shoulders.

“Is he?...” Changmo wispered as he sat down.

“This is Young Hoo, Lee Young Hoo.” Chang Ill answered as he picked up Young Hoo from the highchair and walked over to Changmo. I sat down in my chair and saw Young Hoo, for the very first time interacting with his blood related father.

Changmo’s eyes widened and any sort of hearing seemed to cease for me. All I saw was my baby that I loved very much in the arms of his father for the first time. After a good ten minutes of Changmo being with the baby, we finally sat down and began to order.

“He’s six months old right?” He asked.

“Yeah, just 3 days ago.” I replied.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” He said.

“Changmo, we made a promise before. I’m grateful you kept it. Really.” I replied.

“Then I’m sorry that I said I wanted to meet you and Young Hoo.”

“That’s okay, you have the right to meet him at least once.”

“It took a lot of work convincing her Changmo.” Chang Ill joked trying to lift the mood.

We all let out an awkward laugh. The air was incredibly thick in the room.

“So, are you guys like together?” Changmo asked.

I nodded as Chang Ill answered, “Yep, almost six months now.”

“Wow, that’s it? I thought you guys were together for longer than that, based on like the news and stuff.”

“Well, people think I’m secretly married and think Young Hoo is my child. What’s new?” Chang Ill laughed.

“You guys do look like a family.” Changmo muttered. “It looks great.”

“Thanks, I really do think of Young Hoo as my own son so I’m happy to hear that. I should thank you also for helping in giving life to Young Hoo.” Chang Ill said genuinely.

Changmo seemed like he was forcing a smile as he gave a nod.

Young Hoo who was sitting nicely until now started to throw a tantrum by throwing the spoon and fork he held.

“Hey, don’t do that.” Chang Ill scolded slightly taking away the utensils which led to Young Hoo crying.

“I’ll take him out for a second and get him settled.” He said warily walking out of the room.

Now with the room left with only Changmo and me, it was even more awkward.

I didn’t know how to start the conversation.

“The reason why I asked to see you was because…” He started. He seemed to think as he talked, trying to say the right words.

“I don’t want this to sound condescending in any way, but… I wanted to start fresh with you and Young Hoo.”

“What?” I gasped.

“I regret it so much. I regret saying that I wasn’t ready. I regret letting you go that day. I wanted to grab you after you walked out of the cafe door, but my body was frozen. I want you. I want Young Hoo. I want us to happen for real.” He said grabbing my hand.

Tears of anger were filling my eyes. How could he think that I would just let him in, in a snap just because he regretted it?

“Y/n. I know you’re with Chang Ill right now and that’s probably because you need someone to be with you, but think about Young Hoo he’s going to need a father, a real father who-”

“No!” I cut him off. “Don't you dare underestimate my love for Chang Ill. And as for Young Hoo, he does have a real father. He’s been loved even before he was born by his father who isn’t related to him with an ounce of blood, but with pure love. Don’t think you can squeeze your way into something you rejected before, but want now. I told you. I told you, if you were going to leave, I’m going to need you to leave for good.” I started crying.

“Changmo, please don’t think of breaking our family. I’m grateful that you took part in creating Young Hoo, but this family that Young Hoo has brought together is far more precious to me.”

“I’m sorry. I just realized what I’ve lost after I’ve let it go. I just hoped for you to come back.” He said.

“I’m willing to have you meet Young Hoo occasionally, but only after your heart of wanting something that will never happen to be gone. So until then, please don’t contact us.” I said picking up the baby bag and my bag and heading for the door. I was still in tears, but had to wipe them away to face Chang Ill. I didn’t want to tell him what happened. Before I could open the door, Changmo held me back. He grabbed me into a hug from the back.

“I’m sorry for everything. Please don’t hate me okay?” He whispered.

“I won’t hate you.” I replied as I pried away from his arms and out of the room.

As I was walking towards the front of the restaurant, Chang Ill called out for me.

“Y/n! Where are you going?”

“Changmo suddenly got called in from his company so he needs to leave. Let’s go.” I said pulling him towards the door.

“Really? I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

“He said he would call, come on, let’s go.” I rushed him.

We finally made it home and I prepared dinner that Chang Ill wasn’t able to eat before.

“I’m going to lay Young Hoo down and lay down for a bit okay?” I said as I placed the food in front of Chang Ill.

“Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

“Eat slowly, don’t choke like the other day.” I said before walking up.

After laying Young Hoo down in his crib, I walked over to our bedroom and laid down on the bed. I was lost in my thoughts as I felt strong arms wrapping around my body.

“You okay?” Chang Ill asked.

“Mhm.” I hummed.

“Thank you.” He murmured with his lips against the back of my neck.

“For what?” I asked.

“For saying you love me.” He replied.

“I heard you today. I was going to walk in, but heard Changmo start his whole speech. I’m grateful for this family too.” He continued.

I turned to face him. “I’m sorry you had to hear that. I didn’t want you to hear that..” I said pecking his forehead.

“I will forever be grateful for you being with me and Young Hoo. I really do love you Chang Ill. I will continue to love you even if you don't love us anymore.” I said with tears welling up.

“What are you saying. Of course I’ll love you guys forever. I’m thankful for you guys being in my life.”

This was it. From being miserable after being cheated on, to finding a man who loved my son and I unconditionally. Happiness came with the price of one thing leading to another. And I was 100% sure that I would go through every sort of pain again if that were the only way to be with this family.

[tinyghanouj]

Castle on a Cloud - Les Miserable G/T (#1)

Soooo I decided to take kind of a mini-break from GRG. Too much has been going on and because of how complex and long I want the story to be, my mind needed a rest.  

However, that hasn't stopped me from pursuing other g/t writings! I've been working on this mini-series of short AU's for my favorite musical: Les Mis!!! It's going to be like a compilation of moments from Les Mis, in an AU where giants and humans coexisted. Characters like Jean Valjean and Marius will be giants while Fantine and Cosette will be humans. I'm going to capture some of my favorite scenes, and just...GT-fy it hehe

This first blurb will be Jean and Cosette's first time meeting  Enjoy!!

(If you want to read it on DeviantArt: here)

————————————————————

“Come, Cosette, come, my dear

From now on I will always be here

Where I go, you will be”

“Will there be children and castles to see?”

“Yes, Cosette, yes, it's true

There's a castle just waiting for you.”

Cosette had never run so fast in her life.

Fear thumps inside panic-filled veins. There is only madness chasing after Cosette. Regret weaves in as she wished she did not listen to the request of her “caretakers.” She was being hunted down like an animal to eat whole, and the wolves did not see her as anything but supple meat to sate the winter’s bite. Her bare feet stung against the snow and rocks; tears began to well up on saddened eyes as the pain became unbearable. The Thénardiers, her unforgiving caretakers, ordered her to fetch a pail of water. She was merely a child of three who would only know fear when faced with the darkness of the woods. Their words had become law and punishment was in the form of unparalleled violence combined with maniacal laughter. An abandoned child by a weeping mother, she had no choice but to listen for no one else would shelter her. But now death seemed to be at her heels, the wolves nipping as they reached closer and closer.

She breathed heavy as she was able to keep a decent distance due to the adrenaline. Surprisingly she had held herself upright for a good amount of time before she had fallen, her toes had become caught from an overgrown root. Her face hit the cold blanket of snow, the tears falling helplessly onto the snow as she curled up within herself. There was no point in running, and she had resigned herself to death.

But little did she know that a giant by the name of Jean Valjean was traversing through the dark woods. He was in search of poor Cosette, a young girl who was spoken with eternal love by a mother who had passed away under pain of injustice.

The starved wolves had begun the ritual of death: they circled a frozen girl who was nothing but a mound on the snow-covered flooring, growls that stricken terror to any who listened and jaws that were ready to snap. However, before they could tear into her innocent flesh, they too now had begun to taste fear. The giant had come into view to stop the madness he was watching, a hulking figure that was rippled in muscles and strength.

Cosette turned to look at the giant man standing above her. He was the most massive man she had ever seen, his legs long and thick, his torso carrying up to a neck and head that led Cosette’s eyes to a face. The giant towered over the little girl, her tiny body looking like a speck next to him. His dark eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowing as he looked at her, his body perking up as he saw the wolves behind her. With his lips in a tight line he planted his heavy foot onto the ground, the sound deep and loud, the gang of wolves suddenly cowering, whimpers replacing their growls as they turned around, head and tails low as they ran away.

“Silly creatures,” the giant shook his head, adjusting his green coat.

Cosette let out a low cry, her whole body shaking as she stared at the man. She wanted to escape, but fear had taken over. The giant gave her a small smile; one Cosette couldn’t return. She instead placed her hands over her face, shielding herself from the giant as she sobbed quietly.

“Oh, poor thing,” the giant murmured. “Don’t be afraid. The wolves are gone, and I promise I won’t hurt you.”

The girl maintained her position, hands up in defense, far too afraid to look at the giant. She felt the softest caress on her head, making her jump and look up, watching as the man continued with his faint smile, his big finger gently stroking her hair.

“Don’t be scared, little one. I won’t harm you. Let me help you. Where are your parents? I’ll take you to them. You don’t have to worry about a thing, I promise,” the giant reassured her. “What’s your name?”

“I… I...” murmured Cosette. His voice was so warm and kind that her fast beating heart slowed down, her lips parting to speak up again. “Cosette.”

The giant’s soft smile fell into a frown. “Oh, no. Poor girl. Fantine is your mother…”

Cosette nodded wildly, her eyes wide at the sound of her mother’s name.

“I am so sorry, poor child. Your mother told me all about you,” the man shook his head. “My heart breaks as I tell you this… but your mother passed away. She had fallen very ill, but she loved you so much.”

Cosette couldn’t speak, she couldn’t even cry. It had been so long since she had seen her mother and heard her sweet, angelic voice. Cosette wrapped her arms around herself, looking up at the man with pleading eyes. He was her only hope now. What was a little girl to do without her mother? Tears pricked her eyes as her lips trembled, a low sob leaving her.

“I could never replace your mother, but I promise I’ll look after you. My name is Jean Valjean,” the man said softly. “And I will spend the rest of my life taking care of you, Cosette.”

“Will you be my f-father?” The last word so sacred and foreign to her that it came out stuttered and stumbled as if it was another language that she had yet to learn. The sparkle in her eyes made Jean smile in adoration.

“I will be your father and your mother.” Thunderous words that did not sound like calamity but instead the gospels of the heavens. His comment would forever be stitched into her scarred-heart to fix the broken pieces. “You shall never have to want no more, whatever is mine shall now become yours.”

He then slowly carried her into his palm and propped her onto his shoulder, and she clung tightly to his collar. Despite being so high up, she was not afraid. No, fear would no longer be her companion. Instead, she felt brave and full of strength as she looked down. The forest seemed so small and from above did not scare her as much as she thought.

As Jean stomped away, she took one last glance towards the abandoned pail on the floor. This would be the last memory she had of this place. Buried under the snow was her cruel past and new beginnings were waiting for her.

She was going home.

————————————————————

“Nevermore alone

Nevermore apart

You have warmed my heart like the sun.

You have brought the gift of life

And love so long denied me.

Suddenly I see

What I could not see

Something suddenly

Has begun.”

“Hm,” Jean murmured. “I only have this bed, and I know it’s far too big for you, but it’ll do for now. At least until I can build you a proper one.”

Cosette couldn’t help but smile as Jean placed her gently onto his large bed. It was fit for a giant and giant for a human, but she didn’t mind. Jean’s house was warm and inviting. The candle in the room gave her a calm, pleasant feeling she hadn’t felt in a long time.

She watched as Jean pulled back the blankets, his hands fluffing the pillows before he picked her up once more, settling her little body against the large, comfortable mattress. He brought the sheets up, being careful not to overload her with the thick material, a fond smile on his face as she slowly fluttered her eyes shut.

Cosette looked so tiny in his massive bed. It consumed her, looking like an ant pressed against the big, soft rectangle. Jean used his pinkie finger to give Cosette’s head a small rub, just like earlier, except this time much more delicate. He hummed a soft, pleasant tune, one that made Cosette smile. She felt so at ease, so relaxed despite the news she had received.

“Go to sleep, little one,” whispered. “Rest your head. Today was hard but tomorrow will be easier, and I promise I will never leave your side.”

Cosette's eyes shut completely; lips parted as sleep hit her. Jean made sure to stay until she looked settled and comfortable, the girl’s breathing steady, her cheeks a red color. He felt her skin there and smiled at the warmth from her. It was much better than her previous freezing skin.

Jean hummed happily before blowing out the candles, giving the little girl one last, long look. She was so tiny, so easy to break, her body far too small for his giant bed – but God, it made her look so pure and innocent. With her blonde hair pooling around the pillow, Jean nodded to himself, accepting his fate. Cosette was his to care for now, and he would die before he let anyone hurt her.

[sserpente]

A/N: Okay, this is incredibly sad, so I need you guys to prepare tissues, alright? I usually don’t write about stuff like this but I thought this up and then I cried and… I had to write it. Enjoy!

Words: 2184 Warnings: unwanted/unexpected pregnancy

If you like this story, would you care to support me by buying me a cuppa? I would appreciate it so much! ♥ ko-fi.com/sserpente Enjoy reading! 

Waking up next to the man you loved was the most beautiful thing in the world. Loki’s arms were wrapped tightly around your body, protecting you from any kind of harm. He was even keeping you save from your own nightmares, soothing you when they tormented you and using his seidr to ease your pains and fears.

You were the perfect couple—a modern Romeo and Juliet without the tragic ending and even the Avengers themselves admired your relationship. You had brought out the best in Loki. He was still the God of Mischief, there was no doubt about that, but with you by his side… he soon began to show the world more often he hid a warm heart beneath that black leather armour of his. When he did, you all but melted to a puddle at his feet.

It was love, admiration, comfort and safety you felt whenever you lay with him, when you enjoyed the warmth of his body heat and his protective grip on your naked body. Then there was sickness. Awful sickness.

Frowning, you opened your eyes.

No, this was wrong, sickness was definitely not among the sensations you felt when you woke up next to this gorgeous and handsome god. Something was wrong.

Gagging, you jumped out of bed all but alarmed, startling a very sleepy God of Mischief as you almost tripped with one of your legs getting caught in the blanket, then hurried to the bathroom attached to your room regardless of your nakedness.

Only the fraction of a second after, you were leaning over the toilet and threw up what was left of last night’s dinner.

This wasn’t right at all. You hadn’t drunk any alcohol, you hadn’t mixed milk with orange juice… perhaps you’d eaten something wrong.

“Are you alright?”

Loki appeared in the threshold within the blinking of an eye. Concerned and alerted, he frowned at your kneeling form and slowly approached you.

“It’s okay, I’m ok—“ You were interrupted by yet another gag, followed by your arms hugging the toilet seat once more. A food poisoning, maybe. You’d need to go to the pharmacy and describe the symptoms to get some medication. First, however, you should take a shower and then have breakfast.

Just the sheer thought of it made you throw up again.

By now, Loki was kneeling right next to you, about as exposed and naked as you were. You were used to each other’s bodies—even if your tongue itched to take his length in your mouth when you spotted it.

“It’s alright, really, probably a food poisoning. I’ll be fine again in a few days.”

Loki nodded, stroking your hair as he did. “I am unfamiliar with mortal diseases. I will look into it. Until then, you should stay in bed, rest and recover. Preferably with a bucket next to you.”

His concern was flattering, eliciting a warm feeling in your chest. Still, the timing was bad. You were supposed to be joining Thor and Valkyrie on a mission today.

“I don’t feel… ill, that’s the odd part, Loki. In fact, I feel much better already.”

You weren’t lying—that he would be able to tell anyway. Truth was, barfing was only one of the many tormenting symptoms of a food poisoning.

“If you think I will let you join my brother on his trip to a bunch of fairies in this condition, you are incredibly wrong.”

“Elves. They are elves. Loki, please, you know he needs me. It won’t take long and I promise, as soon as I get back I will go straight to bed and let you pamper me.”

The God of Mischief smirked. “Who said I was going to pamper you?”

Grinning, you bit your lower lip. “I know you will. And I love you.”

“I love you too.” He replied, sighing as he did.

In your imagination, elves had always been tender little creatures with glittering wings and pretty dresses, about as tall as a thumb and struggling with jealousy like Tinkerbelle in Peter Pan. These creatures, however, reminded you more of nymphs.

Eager to learn more about them, you stepped closer, careful to stay right behind Thor and Valkyrie, who were busy convincing them to blab the hidden location of yet another Infinity Stone. It was essential to find the remaining ones before Thanos did or else… well, you weren’t quite sure what “or else” entailed, only that the threat was very real and very dangerous.

Thus far, they’d had no luck whatsoever.

“Look,” you tossed in, taking a determined step forward. “If Thanos gets his hands on all of the Infinity Stones first, your race will not be the only one on the brink of extinction. He will go after you too. You know he will.” That was why Thor had brought you. Usually, your persuasion skills were remarkable.

The elves, however, were witty.

“You! You shouldn’t be looking for something so hazardous. The life within you… you will expose it to unnecessary danger.” One of them mused with a cheeky sparkling in her eyes.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I can sense its power. Aesir, Jötun and human…”

Your heart skipped a beat when you reached for your stomach to cover it with your palm. What? No… this wasn’t possible…

“The child will be invincible.”

You… you were pregnant? The morning sickness… could it possibly be?

Valkyrie and Thor looked about as shocked as you were.

When you returned to your vast living area in the manor, Loki wasn’t there. He was usually being very thorough when there was something wrong with you or when you had a problem and he was determined to help you out. For no one else would he spend hours on end doing research and sacrificing his sleep, not even for Thor.

In the end, so you figured, it was a good thing he hadn’t showed up yet.

Right after the elves had finally told you the location of the Infinity Stone, you had decided to stop by the next pharmacy on your way home and pick up a pregnancy test. You didn’t quite trust those elves… even if you were pretty suspicious yourself and after making Thor and Valkyrie swear not to tell anyone, you disappeared in your apartment and now stared at the white stick like a lunatic in the bathroom.

What if you were pregnant? Loki and you… you had never used protection, believing strongly that an Aesir… or a Jötun for that matter, was incapable of impregnating a mortal woman.

Apparently, you had been wrong. Two blue stripes appeared on the pregnancy test. It was positive.

“(Y/N)?” His smooth and velvety voice ripped you from your thoughts. You had been staring at the TV in your living room for the last hour without paying any attention to what was being shown, instead pondering over how to tell Loki you were going to gift him an heir.

You had, quite frankly, no idea how you felt about it. You were young. Way too young to be a mother and your profession… being an Avenger wasn’t exactly a bed of roses and still, knowing you were going to gift Loki a son or a daughter somehow filled you with excessive joy and pride. Could you manage to work this out somehow? You had never gotten a chance to think about it. You were pregnant now, the child was on the way already.

“I’m here!”

“You’re not in bed,” he stated reproachfully.

“Loki… I need to talk to you.”

He instantly frowned, his blue eyes widening a little. Your own voice sounded weak and tired—he had a right to be upset about your behaviour.

Slowly, he sat down right next to you and placed his hand on your thigh when you took a deep breath.

“I’m pregnant.”

Silence. Awful silence spreading in the room like poisonous fog. Loki’s lips parted.

“What?” He whispered.

“I’m… pregnant. Those elves… they could sense it.”

“The elves? My love, about half of what leaves those awfully perfect lips of theirs is lies.”

“Perhaps. But… Loki, my morning sickness… I took a pregnancy test earlier.” You paused. “It was positive.”

Again, there was a terrible silence clawing at your guts and making you nauseous once more. Was it normal for you to be this sick? You were carrying a child from another realm, after all.

Loki refused to look you in the eye. He was avoiding your gaze frantically; keeping a straight and unfazed face. When he spoke again, he caused your whole world to fall apart.

“Get rid of it.”

It felt like your heart stopped altogether. “What?“

“I said, get rid of it.”

“L-Loki… this is our child we are talking about. Your unborn son or daughter!”

Tears welled up in your eyes faster than a lightning bolt. When you looked up to take a hold of Loki’s hand and force him gently to look at you… you noticed he was crying as well. The salty tears rolled over his cheeks like poison singing his skin.

Then, suddenly, he yanked himself from your tender grip, stood and turned to leave.

“Get rid of it,” he repeated one last time before disappearing in a green shimmering of light.

Sobbing, you stroked your stomach. “I’m… not gonna get rid of our child.” You muttered into the now empty room.

You had been crying for hours. Pressing your face into your pillow on the bed you shared with Loki, you screamed and whined and shrieked until you were spent and had dried out, your whole body going limp on the mattress.

Sleep wouldn’t come. Instead, you would constantly think about the tiny little being growing inside of you. A tiny little Loki… another sob escaped your lips.

“(Y/N)…”

Your hand flew up to cover your stomach instinctively when he cropped up. He was quick to turn on the lamp on your nightstand and meet your sad eyes.

“You are still with the… you are still pregnant?”

Angrily, you narrowed your eyes at him.

“I haven’t given birth in your absence if that is what you mean.” But you knew of course that wasn’t what he meant.

Loki seemed all but unaffected. He had always been extraordinary good in hiding his true feelings and thoughts—even, or especially—when the two of you fought. You did not do so often. Never before, however, had you worried about trying to convince him to keep your child. You were not going to murder it. Abortion was not an option, you couldn’t ever live with that.

Silently, he produced a plain little bottle and set it on the nightstand with a quiet clonk.

“What is that?” You began nervously, new tears already threatening to wet your cheeks.

“You swallow three drops. Three drops and not more. It will kill the fetus overnight.”

It was then you started to sob again, not bothering to hide your tears.

“I will not drink this! Forget it, god damn it! This is our child, Loki!”

“And it will be cursed to live as a monster just like me, do you really think I want to pass on this atrocious fate?!” He suddenly bellowed.

Your heart clenched upon hearing his harsh words. You had told him dozens of times before he was no monster, that his race was insignificant. He was Loki and he was your God of Mischief—and it was all that counted.

“Besides, I did not have particularly good role models in terms of fatherhood. How would I bring a child into this world?” He continued, his voice now quieter.

“What… you think I am ready to be a mother? Loki, I am (Y/A) years old! I barely feel like an adult myself, how am I supposed to raise and care for a child?”

“You’re right.” He glanced over to the bottle on your nightstand.

“D-do you really not want it?” You asked, weeping. “Loki… you’re its father.”

“Of course I... it does not matter if I do. It will kill you.” He whispered.

Your lips parted. “What?”

“My birth mother was Asgardian, (Y/N). That is why I can willingly change my form, that is why I am no giant. She died when she gave birth to me because her body could not put up with a Jötun infant.”

“You think it’s gonna happen to me too,” you mumbled through your tears. Loki nodded. Sighing sadly, he finally lay down with you and pulled you into his arms.

“Loki… this child… the elves have told me that it is human too. Maybe… maybe this will be different and even if…” You took a shaky breath. “You’ll still have a part of me.”

The God of Mischief closed his eyes, letting down his guard as a tear escaped his eye and dropped onto the pillow.

“We will try and be good parents, Loki. You will be an amazing father. I know it.”

You did not hesitate when you gently took your hand in his and then placed it on your stomach. He didn’t pull away.

[helloicantevenrn-blog]

Take Me Home

A/N: Hi everyone ^-^ This is my first fic here and I have to say I’m pretty proud of myself, I began writing this when I was depressed 3 months ago. Since then, it’s been a work in progress until now. Happy reading everyone!

You hated when you got like this, the last thing the significant other of the Supreme Leader should be is weak. You tried to muster up all your strength to get out of bed but you can’t seem to escape its clutches. You must be the most pathetic creature in the galaxy if you couldn’t even leave your own bed; let alone complete your duties for the day. You roll over, expecting to find Kylo fast asleep next to you but all you find is disappointment disguised as a cold spot on the bed. You let out an exasperated sigh; how could you forget that your husband is literally the busiest man alive?

A sudden knock on the door shakes you out of your thoughts, a timid voice coming from behind it reminds you that you have duties to attend to. Your lady-in-waiting was usually not allowed in your shared quarters with Kylo so she stood outside every day to wake you and remind you of your duties for the day. She was one of the few people aside from your husband who knew of your condition and she was nothing short of kind and compassionate on those days. Seeing as you have not exited your quarters or even responded after a while, she went straight to the Supreme Leader to request for special access to your quarters. She knew that if she didn’t inform him of your current state, she would be punished severely. Besides being your lady-in-waiting, she was also your friend and confidant; no friend would want to see the one they cared about in pain.

Kylo was in the middle of a meeting with all the generals and warlords when your lady-in-waiting abruptly barged in. Every single person present glared at her and she merely bowed her head in shame. General Hux suggested that she should be executed for interrupting such an important assembly. He simply ignored the yapping of the ginger-haired man because as soon as she entered, he felt a disturbance in the Force.

“Forgive my intrusion Supreme Leader but there is an urgent matter you must attend to regarding your beloved,” she softly spoke; head hung low.

Hearing that something was wrong with you, Kylo immediately ended the meeting to the annoyance of everybody there and hurried back to your shared quarters; only for him to hear sobs echoing in the darkness as he opened the door. It didn’t matter how many times he had seen you fall from grace, it always broke his heart to see you so broken and defeated. You were always strong in the face of adversity, never backing down from a confrontation or a fight. It didn’t matter if it was on the battlefield or in the grand hall, your presence garnered attention from everybody; whether it be due to your agility while fighting your opponent or because of the charisma you carry yourself with. Your beauty was unlike any other, you were radiant in the light but you shined even brighter in the dark. He was constantly enthralled with how you could exist in such a poised manner, even in your times of desperation and need you were still beautiful; he almost can’t believe that he can call you his.

Your mother once told you that the tears of royalty were not cheap and thus, should be treated as such. Unfortunately for her, her child grew up mentally ill and as such would cry for everyone and everything. You cried for the worlds the First Order had destroyed, you cried for the lives that were lost, you cried for the tumultuous state of the galaxy and you cried for your disgusting self. Teardrops cascade down your cheek like a waterfall of sadness, taking your agony along with them. You were curled up in a ball underneath the blanket of total darkness until you heard the door to your quarters open, you assumed it was your lady-in-waiting coming in to check on you as she often would but to your surprise the person who peeled back the covers was none other than your beloved; Kylo.

He sat at the edge of the bed and placed a gloved hand on your cheek, you were so happy to see him you couldn’t help but shed a few more tears. He gave you a sad smile, removed his gloves and cupped your face gently before placing a kiss on your forehead. In times like this you were grateful that you had your husband to help you get through days like this, he didn’t shame you or scold you for not attending to your duties. Instead, more often than not; he would leave his own duties to comfort you and help you survive.

“My love, have you even left the bed at all?” he softly asks.

You shake your head and before you were able to protest; he begins to place one hand underneath your back while letting his other hand rest behind your knees, before gingerly picking you up bridal style and carrying you to the luxurious bathroom; which is a perk that he as the Supreme Leader gets to enjoy. He tenderly sets you down so that you can undress and then proceeds to fill the tub with warm soapy water. You step into the oversized tub with Kylo holding your hand for balance, your brain doesn’t register what’s happening around you until you hear humming coming from the direction of your husband. You can barely do anything but hug your knees close to your body as Kylo crouches down and starts to lather soap all over your whole body. In this moment, you feel so raw and vulnerable; the last thing you want to do is let him bathe you. All you want to do is hide away in a hole somewhere until your measly life ends, but you simply do not have the energy to carry out your intentions. Unfortunately for you, you forgot that your husband was able to read thoughts.

“Now Sweetness, why in Maker’s name would you want to do that?” he inquires as he moves on to washing your hair.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry Ky, I’m just tired. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I mean, wouldn’t it be better if I wasn’t here?” you reply with a sullen expression on your face.

Almost instantly, you find yourself in a bone-crushing hug as tears begin to blur your vision. You weren’t expecting that type of response when those words tumbled out of your mouth; you knew that your illness had a tendency to warp reality and make you believe things that weren’t true. It’s just that sometimes, you were overcome by the demons that waged bloody battles in your head and the vile things they whispered in your ears.

“Listen here (Y/N), you are important and you matter. Just because your illness tells you things, it doesn’t make them true. I know you, you are not worthless and you are not a burden. You are beautiful inside and out; you are a fair and just ruler as well as an incredible person to love. I know that I’m not good with words but please don’t ever doubt that, I beg of you,” Kylo spoke, his voice low and filled with fear.

You realize that he’s holding you like he’s holding onto dear life and you can understand why; he’s lost so many people in his life already. He can’t bear the thought of losing yet another person to something that’s within his control. The two of you stay like this for a while until the water in the tub goes cold. Afterwards, he helps to rinse out any excess shampoo in your hair and you step out of the tub to dry yourself with a towel. He then picks out a simple but elegant black tunic for you, before helping you into said tunic as he knows how tired you are. On days like today, Kylo’s main objective is to get you out of bed, make sure you are dressed and that you have eaten your medication. Everything else comes second to those three things but he knows that he will probably take the day or two off to take care of you.

You decide to sit on the bed while Kylo orders food for you from his holopad. Already, you were beginning to feel a little bit better than before and you have your lovely husband to thank for that. It only takes a few minutes for your lady-in-waiting to arrive at the door of your shared quarters with your meal and medication on the tray itself. You take the tray from Kylo and open the cover, only to be greeted by the sight of your favourite dish from your home planet next to a pastel pink pill. He sat next to you and hands you a glass of water so that you can swallow down the pill. Feeling resolve settle into your body; you picked up the fork and took the first bite of your meal. It was a small step but you felt like you had just conquered a planet. After you finished eating, Kylo asked what you would like to do today. You knew your husband didn’t mind going above and beyond if it meant he could cheer you up; but in all honesty, you were exhausted and you just wanted a reminder that you had a place in all of this so you said stargazing. This was something you used to do with your siblings whenever one of you felt sad about something and it brought back fond memories.

He took your hand in his and walked over to the windows. Seeing as you were hiding earlier on; the blinds had been lowered but now Kylo used the Force to draw them open for you to marvel at the beauty of the galaxy before you. You looked in awe at the stars that burned brightly in contrast to the emptiness of space and the asteroids and comets that zoomed past. It was a really simple gesture but it meant a lot to you because you needed a reason to live and Kylo was your reason to live.

[wowiejimin]

Safe - Chapter 1

This is a rewrite of my previous fic, “Safe”, after almost a year of publishing it and not working on it ever since, I’ve come back to it but with a slightly new plot :) Enjoy!

I’ve made a hashtag under “wowiejimin safe fic” just to make it easier to find :)

Pairing: Gang Member!Jimin x Weak Heart!Genius!Reader

Genre: Angst, Romance, Lots of Action, Humor, Fluff, & Smut (In the Future)

Length: 3.2k

Warnings: Swearing, Blood, Death, Smut (In the Future), Drugs, Drug Injection, Needles, IDK JUST A LOT OF TORTURE YKNOW OMG

Members Included: All of BTS, other KPop groups in the future

Chapter List Next Chapter

In his world, being a part of a mafia gang, known as Bangtan Boys, is a bit terrifying. They were truly a filthy rich and powerful group that everyone feared. 22-year old Jimin was described as the stealthiest and most skilled member of Bangtan, playing an important part in their group. Whereas for 20-year-old (Y/N), a genius with a weak heart is suffering inside the cruel world as she is punished and experimented on the daily basis. Jimin finds himself protecting a gifted girl whose memory can hold numerous things in a blink of an eye. Jimin finds an interest in her, visioning that she may be a valuable asset to their group. Jimin has never paid attention to girls. However, that started to change when he met her.

The young woman was thrown to the ground, grunting in pain. The man then punched her in the stomach, growling before grabbing her upper arm, sitting her down in front of his boss, also known as the leader of the Void. He stared at her unamusingly, “You’re lying to me.” She shook her head, “I’m not.” She replies, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I swear–!” She rambled and he cut her off, shaking his head, “You’re lying, and if you don’t tell me the truth, I’ll be using that lighter over there and use it on your body.” He threatened as her breath hitched. The leader then took out a sheet of paper, holding up a pen to her face, “For the last time, give me the numbers.” He yelled, slamming the pen down on the desk, making every other object on the desk shake.

A FEW DAYS EARLIER ~

Loud cries filled the porcelain white hall, “N-No!” The young woman cried as the two men, carrying her by her fragile arms, dragged her towards the one room she despised the most. The Injection Room is what she calls it.

(Y/N) whimpered as they strapped her to the bed, stopping her from escaping. “A-Appa!” She screamed, “Please–!” She was cut off as the men wrapped her mouth with duct tape. Her muffled cries bounced off the walls and echoed in the hallway. The man whom she called Appa looked down at her, the syringe in his hand. She stared at the sharp and thick needle, little droplets of the drug oozing out. She took short breaths as the man smiled, covering her eyes with his free hand before roughly stabbing the thick and long needle into her neck.

Muffled screams and cries came out of the young woman’s taped mouth. The man slowly injected the substance into her before pulling the needle out. Although he finished, the muffled cries continued. The man nodded at his men as they all left the room, turning off the lights, leaving the woman in the dark alone.

(Y/N) loud screams slowly got quieter and quieter and she felt her body twitch. Her eyes then rolled back, closing her eyes shut. She couldn’t even hear her own sobs, couldn’t feel her hot tears run down her flushed cheeks. 

Her body was intensified with burning sensations yet she felt cold.

~/~

Tired.

It was the only word that could come up, close to describing her current feeling. Her whole body felt frozen to the point she couldn’t imagine on ever moving again.

Deep breathes were only heard in her cell as she huddled her small body into the very corner of the room, shivering as she stayed away from the door as much as possible.

“You did absolutely amazing today, (Y/N).” The husky and rugged voice echoed in her cell as the man let out a little chuckle. “I’ve won thousands because of you.” He said, looking at the girl.

(Y/N) looked at the man who was her so-called father. (Y/N) didn’t do anything but stare back at the man with slightly terrified eyes. (Y/N) referred him to as Appa as he was the only person who kinda took care of her since she was abducted.

She wasn’t referred by her own name but was labelled as Tiny by the others as she was rather smaller than the rest of the test subjects. Although she was small, she was a genius. Her greatest strength lied in her intelligence.

(Y/N) shivered as the man chuckled once more before shutting the door, leaving the young woman in complete darkness.

She remembered the day she was taken away from her mother, never seeing her again after that.

(Y/N) wrote an equation on the board, correcting her teachers work, “Try it the other way, it adds up to 467. Only one answer is correct.” She erased her work on the board and turned to her teacher, “I mean no disrespect, Mrs. Soong, but your calculations are wrong.” The other students in the class giggled and the flustered teacher glared at the younger girl, “Office.” She says and everyone stopped. (Y/N) widens her eyes and obeyed anyway.

The principal sighed and twiddled with a pen. “Ms. (Y/N)…” He started, “We’ll be moving you to another school.” (Y/N) gasped, “Wait, what–”

“(Y/N), you’re smart, a genius. Truly a gifted child. You have to go to an appropriate school. You’ll make new friends.”

~/~

“Don’t be sad, (Y/N). We’ll always be your friends. I hear the kids in Daegu are cool, you’ll have a good time there.” Her friend reassured. (Y/N) was originally from Busan, but knowing that she’ll be moving to Daegu made her nervous. (Y/N) and her friends walked on the busy streets, coming home from school. (Y/N) sighs, “I don’t even like numbers. I like it here. I don’t want new friends.” She whined and her friend laughed, “Of course. But don’t worry, I’ll send you a letter every week.” (Y/N)’s face lit up, “You promise?”

“Of course. Think you want me to miss out on having a famous friend? It’s going to be great, (Y/N).” (Y/N) smiled up at her friend. Suddenly, a hand grasped her wrist and started to drag her away from her friend. “(Y/N)!” He screamed and the mysterious man shoved (Y/N) into the car, driving away. The young girl panicked, looking around. “Hold tight, kid.” The man smirked and they drove off to a peculiar place.

Within 20 minutes or so, they arrived at their destination. The man who grabbed her guided her to a building and led her to an office. A man in his 20’s was seated in front of a wooden desk and smiled. "Ah, (Y/N)!” He stood up and pointed at a girl her age, who sat in the corner of the room. “This is my niece, Soohyun. Recognise her?” He asked and she nodded, “S-She’s in my class.” The man nodded, “She says your mind is like a computer. We spoke to your teacher and she said the same thing. That’s why you’re here.” He rested his hands on her shoulders, “Lovely girl.” He mumbled as he grazed his finger softly on her chin. (Y/N) grimaced in disgust and he sighed, “Computers are so annoying.” He walks to his desk and smiled, “They say what you learn you never forget, is that so?” He asked and she shook her head, afraid of what was going to happen.

The man grew furious. He had an abacus calculator set on his desk and mixed the beads around randomly, “Then we will go to your home and kill your mother for making such a stupid girl!” He shouted making (Y/N) jump. He sat down and (Y/N) felt the tears welling up.

She had always known that her mother was always so ill. All (Y/N) knew is that her mother participated in projects as a test subject until she was pregnant with her. And with her being a part of a project, handling with tons of drugs and stress, (Y/N) was born with a weak heart. Other than that, her mother was all she had.

She quickly ran to the calculator and solved the problem as fast as she could. Within seconds, she finished. The man smirked, slowly clapping his hands. “So they are telling the truth. Mrs Soong said your father ran away when you were very little, left your mother, and your mother is very ill.” He looked at her as she held her tears in. “Soon you will be all alone. Do you want that?” (Y/N) slowly shook her head and he smiled, standing up. “Then we will take good care of your mother,” He turned to the man that drove her here. “This is Banjo, your new father. He’ll take you to Seoul, where you will count for us.”

It’s been almost 10 years since she’s been taken away. Now at 20-years-old, (Y/N) was trained by the man, Banjo whom she called Appa, in the laboratory through tests and experiments.

She was a subject of at least eight experiments which involved violent and unpleasant doings. (Y/N) tried her absolute best not to fail through these fights or experiments. But if she were to fail even just by a little bit, (Y/N) would be dragged into and locked in a cell with other punished test subjects for great periods of time with no food. She whimpered at the thought, remembering that there was a dead body present in the same room, probably died due to starvation.

This caused an experience of which severely scared (Y/N) with a fear of confinement and loneliness.

(Y/N)‘s breath hitched as she searched for warmth in her body. She winced as she gently grazed over a slightly swollen area on her back from a brutal whipping.

The things (Y/N) had to do with Banjo was absolutely tiresome and scary. After receiving many doses of the drugs, she was sent to underground gambling parties, using her intelligence to win the man tons of money. Sometimes she is even used for underground fights as a scrapper.

She was trained under a man to learn how to fight, who Banjo hired. But as soon as her trainer was killed by Banjo’s men for helping (Y/N) escape, she has been teaching herself.

Although her intelligence was her greatest strength, it doesn’t mean her physical strength is as powerful. However, her combat skills are shown to be more or less average, and she has yet to be shown successfully killing a target.

(Y/N) is noted as being one of the quickest test subjects mentally and physically when it came to problem-solving or fights. She is so fast that her fights only last a few seconds. As she can easily outmanoeuvre them, she is a very difficult target for others to catch, thus her agility and balance making up for her strength.

(Y/N) sighed before closing her eyes slowly, lifting them up every few seconds whenever a sudden noise was heard. All she had in her cell was a small tray of food and herself, tucked into the very corner of the room.

(Y/N) truly did not like to fight or use her intelligence for something that is not useful for her own being. At least in a way where thousands of people are bidding on you and where you’re forced to gamble or fight others in order survive or to not get punished.

She didn’t think that her life with her so-called new father would be like this. She thought far from that until he stuck the needle into her neck for the first time when she was only 11-years-old.

Not only that, but she had a weak heart. She knew was that her mother was a test subject as well and once she gave birth to her, (Y/N) was born with something called Heart Murmur. Although it wasn’t a disease, it may indicate an underlying heart problem.

(Y/N) hissed quietly, feeling the agonizing pain in her chest, placing both her hands to help ease the pain. The man that practically controlled her did nothing to help with her weak heart. But they did mention that they indeed put something to help ease the side effects of her weak heart in the drugs. However, (Y/N) thinks otherwise, knowing it’s only making it worse.

The fragile woman let out a cough before closing her eyes shut, hoping that the time before her next event gives her enough time to rest and heal.

~/~

(Y/N) sighed, rolling her side, placing a hand on her heart, slightly feeling the uneven heartbeat on her palm. She sweated nervously, waiting for the doctor. Once every two weeks, (Y/N) is checked up by the doctor and to hear if there was any other way to cure her heart problem. There was one way, but they deemed it was too risky. A valve replacement.

For as long as she could remember, her heart was in terrible condition ever since she was born. In short, she was born with an abnormal heartbeat, meaning abnormal heart murmur. It was the abnormal sounds of the heart due to turbulent blood flow. And that’s what (Y/N) had. Although there were innocent and harmless types of heart murmur, she just had to get the worst one, abnormal.

With the medicine she received, taking an anticoagulant, such as aspirin or warfarin, preventing blood clots from forming in her heart and causing a heart attack or stroke.

And finally, the doctor came in with a blank face. She hasn’t always liked him. Ever since she found out that he was the one who recommended the drugs, she despised his whole existence.

“There’s no other treatment, is there?” She asked quietly. The doctor shook his head, sitting down on a chair next to the hospital bed. The doctor takes out his stethoscope, lifting the earbuds to his ears and the chest-piece to her chest. (Y/N) watched as he listens to her heartbeat with bored eyes.

The doctor lets out a sigh before documenting notes on his clipboard. “It seems like everything is just fine, for now at least. You’re still going to have to use those anticoagulants, however. Although it seems like your heart is slowly shutting down.” He says as (Y/N) slowly sat up.

“Well, if it weren’t for those drugs that are constantly being injected into my body I would be perfectly fine right now.” She mumbled. The doctor says nothing but hands her a new bottle of medications. “Instead of taking one per day, take two.” He says before walking out.

And that’s how (Y/N)’s checkups went. They were short and boring but at least she knew how she was doing.

(Y/N) gave out a sad sigh, feeling the tears well up in her eyes. Who was she kidding, there was no way that she was getting better. Although the medication she was given actually worked, the injected drugs, the stress and pressure from the constant gambling and fighting worn her out more. Especially when it came to punishment, it was hard. Not being fed for a couple of days, not being able to take your medication and kept in a dark room for who knows how long. 

She shivered at the thought before closing her eyes, nuzzling her face into the somewhat comfortable bed. It wasn’t the best bed to sleep in, but it was by far the best thing she has ever slept on for the last 10 years.

~/~

PRESENT ~

(Y/N) sat in her dark cell; staring up at the ceiling as she chewed on the rock-hard bread she was given for breakfast. After scarfing down the bland bread, she opened her pill bottle, taking two of the small pills, swallowing them down dry. 

Suddenly, her door was opened as Banjo stood at the doorway with clothes in his hand, “(Y/N),” Banjo called and she looked at him from where she sat, “Mr. Han is here. Remember him?” He asked and she nodded, “The man that started all this.” She mumbled, referring to her life as of right now. Banjo then held up an outfit, “Take a quick shower and then change into these.” He threw the plastic bag of clothes to her chest, leaving.

(Y/N) scoffed before walking out of the cell, making her way towards the showers with two security guards following closely, making sure that she won’t escape. During her life here, all she wore was a hospital gown. But when it came to fighting or gambling, she wore something more appropriate for those events.

She locked the door behind her, placing the set of clothes on the counter before stripping the gown off her small body. She then turned on the shower, rinsing herself with the cold water.

She sighed, continuing to get ready.

~/~

After a few minutes, (Y/N) walked in wearing a simple black circle skirt and a white button down short sleeve shirt. Mr. Han smiled widely, “Ah, (Y/N), you’ve grown into a beautiful young woman.” He says walking towards her before guiding her to a table.

It’s been almost 10 years since she last saw him which was right before she came to the laboratory when she was just 10-years-old.

He pulled out a sheet of paper, placing it in front of (Y/N). (Y/N) scanned the sheet, noting that it was just full of numbers. “I want you to take this to your room and I want you to memorise it. Then—“

“I’ve memorised it.” She says and Mr. Han looked at her surprised, “(Y-Y/N), this is a very important number. For your mother’s sake, answer me carefully.”  He stared at her in the eyes, “Are you sure you’ve memorised it?” He asked and she nodded, “I’m positive. I can tell you without looking at it.” (Y/N) says with a blank face as Mr. Han chuckled.

Banjo came in with a smirk, joining the two, “If she says she remembers it, she remembers it.” He looked at her as she stared at him with slightly furrowed brows, “I can vouch for that.” Mr. Han chuckled, “Then I have an important job for you.” He turned to the young woman, taking the sheet of paper, crumpling it and throwing it into the fireplace, burning it.

~/~

They all left the laboratory, Banjo guiding (Y/N). Missions like these were normal to her, memorising many numbers and solving puzzles for Banjo. However, she never really knew why.

It’s been a long time since (Y/N) has seen the sun. Most of the time when she was out with Banjo, it was either midnight or it was raining.

She smiled softly, looking at the bright blue sky, loving the feeling of the warm sun on her skin.

“These are your instructions; Banjo will take you to a man who has the second set of numbers. You will memorise it and then you’ll be taken to another location where your final instructions are given.” Mr. Han instructed. (Y/N) only nodded, understanding the plan.

(Y/N) sat in the back of the car with Banjo and the rest of his men.

Banjo looked at her with a smile, “You’re learning fast, kid.” Is all he says before a van crashes into their car. The window was shattered and the glass shards stuck to everyone’s skin. Men then came out of the strange van, shooting their guns at the car they were in.

(Y/N) panicked, “W-What’s happening?” She muttered to herself as a gun was pointed at her face. She widens her eyes at Banjo, who looked at her with wide eyes as well. “I’m sorry, but I can’t let them have you,” Banjo says before a bullet was shot at the windshield, stopping him from killing (Y/N).

(Y/N) gasped and quickly got out of the car while Banjo was distracted, only to be grabbed by another man she didn’t recognize. More cars came into the scene, killing the rest of Banjo’s men. (Y/N) yelped and desperately tried to escape, only to have the man to hit her by the grip of the gun, throwing her into the van.

==

jimin will be making an appearance in the next chapter !! :3 thank you for reading ~~

[redrobin-detective]

The Long Way Around 1

Here it is! Chapter 1 of my BNHA story, I did promise I'd put it up today so here it is! I really hope you'll enjoy. Since this is a short, introductory chapter, I'll post it all but the rest will be under a read more. Please let me know what you guys think! A lot of time and love has gone into this.  

--> Chapter Two

Chapter One: What It Takes To Be a (Quirkless) Hero

All men are not created equal, that is a truth Izuku has lived with since he was four years old. But just when he thought he understood what it meant to be quirkless in a society full of amazing abilities, the universe finds new ways to remind him of his worthlessness.

Everything he's done up until this point has been trying to prove to everyone, to prove to himself, that it wasn't true. That he could be valuable despite his diagnosis, that he too could be a hero. But as he slinks home today, tired and empty, he feels more useless than ever.

Kaachan almost died today and Izuku couldn't do a thing about it. He rubs the palm of his hand roughly into his eye to fight off the frustrated tears. What had he been thinking? Running out like that when not even the heroes on the scene had been willing to tackle the delicate situation had been insane.

He's lucky All Might appeared out of nowhere to stop the sludge monster or both of them would've been killed. Normally meeting All Might would lift his spirits but the Number One had come and gone before he'd even had a chance to ask one of the hundreds of questions on his mind. It was like he'd somehow sensed that quirkless Izuku wasn't worth a second more of his time. Instead he was left sprawled on the ground beside Kaachan, shaking from the adrenaline, covered in sludge with the light rain All Might's single punch drizzling down on him; feeling like he's just missed out on something important.

Before he could even process what had happened, he'd been hauled to his feet by one of the heroes in the area. The very same heroes who stood by and did nothing while Kaachan was suffocating right in front of them, he'd thought bitterly. At first, there had been praise and congratulations but, of course, that dried up once they got around to asking about his quirk. As always, their cheer turned to disgust and their appreciation became a lecture on his recklessness and stupidity. It wasn't anything he hasn't heard before, but this time seemed to cut all the deeper.

Maybe it's because All Might swept in and ignored him just like everyone else. Maybe that the adrenaline and anxiety that had initially propelled him forward had left him even more tired and vulnerable than normal. Or maybe it was the fact that the heroes stood there lecturing him for doing their job all the while admiring Kaachan's bravery in the face of adversity. The double standard burned in his chest but not as much as his former friend's glare that said he'd have rather died than accept the help of a quirkless nothing.

Izuku hasn't been on good terms with Kaachan for a while... which is a nice way of saying that Kaachan has been making his life hell for the past ten years or so. But still as much as Kaachan infuriated him, terrified him, Izuku has always respected the other boy's strength and determination to succeed. Seeing strong, vibrant Kaachan with that fearful expression is what spurned him into action but the look Kaachan gave him afterwards made Izuku wonder if he should just learn to stop butting in and figure out that he really isn't good for anything.

He'd been able to gather up his scattered belongings and slip past the nagging heroes and nosy reporters. Only a few acknowledged Izuku's role in the fight and none of them bothered to ask him any questions. In this society, the quirkless might as well be invisible, it's practically a quirk in and of itself. He'd laugh if it wasn't so exhausting.

So Izuku stumbles home, feeling hyperaware of his surroundings but also in something of a distracted daze. He's not quite sure what he's going to do now. All he knows to do is dream; it's the only option he has available to him since no one, not his teachers, not society, not the Number One himself, was willing to give him a chance to do more.

But maybe they're right? It's not like he actually did anything useful back there. He couldn't save Kaachan, couldn't save himself after he rushed in before his brain caught up with his stupid legs. Maybe it was time he gave up on his foolish dream of being a hero.

"Deku!" Izuku automatically freezes at the angry cry. He turns to see Kaachan, breathing heavily and angrily behind him, as if he'd run all the way from the crime scene. Kaachan has already passed his house, why was he here now?

"I never asked for you to come help me!" the blond shouts, looking angrier than Izuku had ever seen him and yet, there were no explosions coming from his hands and he doesn't look like he was going attack. Izuku tenses up and prepares for the worst anyway.

"I didn't need to be saved, Ok? I could have taken care of myself! You're so goddamn useless Deku, what were you thinking, you didn't do shit!" With a final sneer, Kaachan turns on his heels and stalks back to his house leaving Izuku slightly stunned at the uncharacteristic confrontation. "Stay out of my fucking way, I don't owe you shit!" Izuku blinks as Kaachan leaves as a new feeling started to overwhelm all the anger and emptiness inside of him.

Relief.

Kaachan… was okay. He wasn't afraid anymore, he wasn't hurting and slowly being drowned in sludge. He makes Izuku sick with pent up fear, anger and hopelessness and yet... Izuku was still happy the boy he once called a friend was alive. Izuku smiles fondly to himself and continues his journey home. Kaachan was right, he didn't really do anything and, in the end, he only got in the way of the real heroes but that's not the point. The point is, no matter how insignificant he was, he'd played a role in getting his friend out alive.

He brings his head up, puts his shoulders back and walks forward with a new purpose. Izuku has no delusions of being a real hero; the path to Number One might as well be Jupiter. But that doesn't mean he couldn't be a hero in his own way. Not every hero was an All Might or Endeavor, they also needed smaller heroes for smaller things. It wouldn't be the most glamorous job and there would only be so much he could do, but it would be better than nothing.

The thought makes him smile as he picks up his pace and hurries home. Maybe this incident will finally convince his mom to let him take self-defense classes. He could do some research on strength building regimes and continue to hone his analytical skills and maybe, just maybe, someday someone will need a quirkless nobody like him.

XxX

"Damn sludge monster," All Might, currently in his true form as Yagi Toshinori, curses quietly in English as he clutches his wound and staggers back home. His breathing was rough and haggard, harsh with foamy blood clogging his throat. He pretends not to notice the frightened mother ahead of him who hurriedly pushes her baby stroller to the other side of the street when she sees him. He doesn't blame her but that doesn't mean it hurts any less.

Toshinori had just wanted to get some groceries was all. The small city he'd moved to was quiet but, most importantly, it was closer to Yuuei than his old apartment had been. He coughs wetly into his fist, he'd left Might Tower early today so he could grocery shop on his way home. Of course he had to run into a rampaging monster and of course he had to save the day. He was All Might, that's what he did and Nana would expect nothing less of her successor.

He'd almost used up One for All for the day and so he'd hoped to make an easy capture but the monster had been quite slippery, pun intended. At one point, Toshinori almost had the creature when it had started up a street drain but had changed its mind at the last second and given further chase through the sewers.

The worst part is he lost track of the damn thing when he was just barely holding onto One For All. For good or for ill, it was a scream that helped him locate the monster again. He'd come across a terrifying scene; a young boy engulfed in the sludge, clearly terrified and unable to escape despite his powerful quirk. There'd been another boy there too, small and plain, clawing desperately at the monster in an attempt to save his friend. All Might wasted no time in smashing that monster into tiny, manageable pieces and pulling the children to safety.

There were cheers in the air, the sound of clicking cameras and sobs of relief but all Toshinori could pay attention to was the slow steam beginning to rise from his body, thankfully disguised by the falling rain. With a smile and the obligatory assurances, All Might had leapt into the air like the majestic hero he is. He landed a short distance away in an alley where Toshinori appeared in his place and promptly spit up a good amount of blood. Today just hasn't been his day.

So here he is now, walking home scaring young mothers, without his groceries and feeling utterly spent. Toshinori rubs at his eyes and to think he'd wanted nothing more than to be a hero when he was younger. He wonders if he'd have been so eager if he'd known what heroism was really about: pain and shoving aside weakness to appease the public. His mouth twists unhappily. That's... not really how he feels, it's just been a long day is all.

As he walks, he thinks mostly about what he can eat tonight now that his groceries are lost and how he can justify this disaster to Tsukauchi who will be understandably upset over the mess he left behind. Toshinori doesn't think about his increasing need for a successor, though that is usually in the back of his mind, bouncing around without ever quite settling. He certainly doesn't think about the boys he'd saved earlier, two of millions he's rescued over his illustrious career. But even old, worn down by the weight of the world, there's a niggling sense like there was something he'd missed. Something important.

Midoriya Izuku is being inspired to not let his quirklessness get in the way of his dreams by the time Toshinori turns into his neighborhood. They walk in opposite directions but both of them carry a sense of loss, like an opportunity came and went without so much as a warning.

Neither can know this, but far, far away in another universe, Midoriya Izuku runs into Number One Hero, All Might, for the third time that day and is given an opportunity he can't refuse. But in this one, the hero and his potential successor continue on in opposite directions not knowing just how much work will be needed to reconnect their paths.

[littlemissgeek8]

Yo, here’s a follow-up to this short story I wrote last Sunday, (and the picture I drew earlier this week as well.) Hopefully it reads well, since I’ve not been able to sit and write for long periods this week. Sorry for those who liked the original post, I wanted to upload it with an illustration to match the first part.

It should not have been a surprise to anyone that, a few days after playing nursemaid to a sick Tommy, Deborah herself began to feel ill. It started small, just a few sniffles she blamed on allergies and continued on her way to work. Then came the sneezing and coughing, until finally one morning she woke up aching and shivering despite the July heat. Her throat felt like it had been scraped raw with sandpaper, her head pounded when she moved, and it was all she could do to just turn her head to one side and fumble for her alarm.

“You look like death,” was all AJ said when she poked her head into the living room, to see if Deborah was getting up. From her spot on the folded-out futon, Deborah groaned. From the door, AJ took note of her pale face and bleary eyes and frowned. “You’re not going into work like that.”

The moan that escaped Deborah’s lips might have been an attempt at AJ’s name or just a reflection of life in general at the moment, but it certainly didn’t sound like any actual words. She reached up towards her roommate, but she could neither reach nor properly see AJ, and her hand fell limply back onto the futon. AJ sighed. “I’ll be here until I have to go to work, and I’ll call the library to let them know you’re not coming in. Okay?” Deborah nodded, settling back in under the blankets.

With another large sigh, AJ flopped onto one of the soft armchairs in the room. “I told you that Jarvis guy was trouble.”

Tourist season was the worst. That’s what Tommy’s coworkers had told him since he first started working at the small gas station and garage in Forest Green. By now, he believed it wholeheartedly. It was one of his quieter days, he was allowed to stock shelves and run inventory and not have to worry about working the pumps and being social. Now, however, his shift was almost over and he was busying himself by putting things back on the right shelves from where tourists had put them. A number of not-at-all nice things passed through his mind, aimed directly at the person who thought it was too hard to put things one shelf up from where they’d left them.

As Tommy reached up to replace a bag of potato chips on the shelf, a chilly tingle shot down his spine. It felt like someone was watching him. Not just watching, staring. Instinctively his pulse rose, his breaths becoming shorter and faster. He spun around, hands balling into fists, ready to defend himself… but it was just a young woman, standing there behind him and staring so hard it was like daggers in his skin. Tommy squirmed under the intensity of her gaze.

“Can I help you?” The words were hard to get out, sounding even quieter than he usually did.

“Deborah’s not coming by to see you today.”

What? Tommy had the strange sensation he’d walked into the middle of a conversation. His eyes darted from side to side, trying to figure out what she had meant. “I’m sorry?”  Again he looked at her, and a faint moment of recognition came over him. The young woman was curvy, with purple streaks dyed into her wavy brown hair and her dark clothes matching her somber expression. And Tommy had definitely seen her before. “Wait, you’re Deborah’s roommate, right? Uh, CJ… DJ…”

“AJ.” The reply was firm and he nodded instinctively.

“Right, AJ. And what’s this about Deborah? She’s where?”

AJ shrugged, crossing her arms across her chest. “Home. She was sleeping, the last time I saw her. A parting gift from her trip to play Florence Nightingale the other day.”

Oh. A flicker of guilt flared up in Tommy’s chest. He hadn’t asked her to come visit, and it wasn’t his fault she’d caught his illness, but still he felt just the tiniest bit guilty. She’d come all that way and made his day better– and then came down with the same bug that had been plaguing him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“–I know, I was just letting you know. I’ve gotta get to work before I’m late.” AJ turned to leave but paused at the end of the aisle, resting one hand on the shelf nearby as she turned to look back at Tommy. “We’re also fresh out of ginger ale.” The look she gave him couldn’t have been more pointed if it was made out of a bucketful of icepicks. Then she rounded the corner and was gone.

All the tension that had been building in his body released as AJ left the store. Other people were a minefield as it was, but short and unassuming as she was, AJ was intimidating somehow. It was like talking to a porcupine, knowing that at any time those sharp quills would stop being simply menacing and suddenly end up buried in your skin. Tommy almost leaned against the shelf in relief, until something caught his eye at the end of the aisle. It didn’t look like something that was supposed to be in the snacks section, and when he went to investigate he was certain of it.

It was a pair of keys, sitting right where AJ’s hand had rested a minute before. Not car keys, that was certain; most likely house keys. With a slight sigh, Tommy slid them into the pocket of his pants and glanced up at the clock. His shift was over in an hour, but any plans he’d had for the rest of the day were effectively scrapped.

It was rare for Deborah to get colds. She ate all her vegetables, was careful about washing her hands, she even took vitamins on a regular basis. More often than not it was other people who got colds around her, so she was used to taking care of them. Being on the other side of the coin for once was not only unusual, it was humiliating.

Everything ached, a deep throbbing pain that sapped all her strength and made her dread the times she had to stand to hobble to the bathroom. Whenever she pulled the covers up, she sweltered under the heat of her own body, but kicking them off left her shivering. She tried to focus on the TV that AJ had left on, but her brain felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls, and the plots of the daytime soaps were even more incomprehensible than usual. And in between it all she slept, drifting into fevered dreams of running and hiding and Tommy and then melting back into reality.

One dream was particularly vivid, so when she opened her eyes it took her a moment to realize the Tommy standing over her was actually the real one, and not swooping in on a daring mission to rescue her from certain death. With a startled gasp, Deborah yanked the covers up to her chin, staring up at the strangely blurry face over her head.

“Your roommate left these with me,” Tommy said, holding out something above her head, before setting it down on the coffee table. The metallic clink told her it must have been keys, but all she saw was a faintly grey smudge. He glanced over in the direction of the TV, which had just come back from a commercial apparently. “You watch this stuff?” Despite his efforts, a note of disdain snuck into the statement. Deborah shook her head a little, not having the energy for much else.

“AJ left it on so I wouldn’t be lonely.” Tommy looked back at her, then stepped over to the TV and switched the dial off. The faint voices cut out abruptly, leaving the room in silence. “Why’re you here?” Deborah asked finally, her throat rasping with each word.

“I was told you caught my cold,” Tommy said simply. “And your roommate was very persuasive.” He sat down on the –thankfully very sturdy– coffee table nearby. “I figured if I didn’t stop by she’d slash my tires. How are you doing?”

“Not bad,” Deborah said, trying to force a smile. It was a baldfaced lie and they both knew it. She hadn’t felt this awful in several years. Tommy leaned over, placing his hand against her forehead.

“You’re really hot,” he said after a few moments.

Something came over Deborah all of a sudden. Her brain was as foggy as her vision right now and somehow or other the inhibitions that normally kept her from saying anything that popped into head simply stopped working. “Thanks, you too Tommy!” she replied with a giggle. The blur that was Tommy seemed to frown.

“…No, you have a fever, Deborah.”

“Oh, is that all?” She forced a laugh. “I thought it was something awful!” Her rough attempts at laughter quickly shifted into sobs, and she rolled onto her side, burying her face in the mound of pillows and yanking the blanket up over her face. A few moments later she felt a hand rest lightly on her shoulder.

“Deb? Are you okay?” There was clearly worry in Tommy’s voice, and she rolled back over, raising her tear streaked face up to peer in his direction. Her chest tightened at the thought of worrying him more; he’d already come to visit her when he didn’t have to, and now she was making him worry about her.

“I’m a mess,” she moaned, tears welling in her eyes again. “I don’t want you to look at me like this. My hair’s not brushed, I don’t have any makeup on…” A level of horror rose in her chest as she realized what she was wearing. “I’m still in my nightgown!” Deborah had always been fond of her nightgown, with the lace around the neck and sleeves, but the material was ever-so-slightly sheer. Wearing it around Tommy, well… a hot flush not at all from her cold rose to her cheeks. She yanked the blankets up over her nose and mumbled, “I can’t even find my glasses.”

“Well, I was a mess too, if you remember” Tommy said softly. A few moments later, a blurry hand appeared in front of her face, holding a pair of black-rimmed glasses by the earpiece. “They were under the coffee table.” Deborah dried her face on the blanket and put the glasses on. The world felt a little less scary when she could actually see what was in front of her.

“You can’t ever look anything less than amazing, Tommy,” she found herself saying, even though in her right mind she’d never be able to say something so bold. “I just look like…” Clumsily she gestured at herself.

“You look like yourself,” Tommy said, catching her hand. “And you’re a lot prettier than you think.”

Deborah scoffed, but didn’t pull her hand away. “You need glasses,” she mumbled.

“So do you.”

She moaned and halfheartedly tried to pull her hand away. “No logic today, Tommy, I can’t think.”  Tommy let go of her hand, then reached out to tidy up her bangs across her forehead.

“It’s okay, you’re sick. You’re allowed to feel down.” A small smile crossed his face. “Have you even eaten today?”

Deborah shrugged. She too had noticed the reversal of the situation that had happened just a short time ago, and she tried to smile back but her face wouldn’t cooperate. “I don’t remember, I don’t even know what time it is.” She sighed, nestling into the mound of pillows. “I think there’s a can of chicken noodle soup in the kitchen that I didn’t use the other day. Don’t burn down the apartment, AJ would kill me.”

“It’s nice to know you have so much faith in me,” Tommy teased, standing up. No witty retort came from Deborah, though. She’d fallen back asleep on the couch.

“Okay, sleepyhead, you need to eat or you’re going to feel worse.” Tommy’s soft voice pulled her out of sleep, along with the feeling of his fingers lightly tapping her shoulder. Deborah shifted a bit, opening her eyes to look up at him.

“‘Didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she mumbled, trying to pull herself up into a vaguely sitting position. Ever since the first time she’d heard him speak, there was something about Tommy’s soft, earnest voice that she could listen to forever. “Guess I just like hearing your voice,” she said aloud. Tommy cleared his throat next to her with an embarrassed look on his face, before leaning in to place his hands on her arms and help her sit up.

Tommy left to grab a chair from the kitchen table to sit on as Deborah turned to look at the coffee table beside her. There was a bowl of soup, probably more full than she could handle at this point but it seemed like he hadn’t scorched it. A spoon rested on a napkin nearby, with an opened package of saltine crackers above it. Beside the bowl was a glass of bubbly, pale gold soda. “Ginger ale?” Deborah asked, definitely more amazed than she’d be normally.

“AJ mentioned you were out,” Tommy said, sitting down on the chair he’d brought over. “I figured I couldn’t exactly say ‘no’ about it.”

“AJ’s kind of intense,” said Deborah, struggling to take a few crackers out of the plastic sleeve while her soup cooled. “But I think she’s okay with you.”

“It felt more like she was daring me to mess up.” He reached forward to help, pulling apart the seam on the plastic sleeve so it was easier to reach the crackers inside.

Not eating all day had drained most of Deborah’s strength, and it was surprisingly hard just to get up the energy to chew, but she realized all of a sudden just how hungry she was. “If she really didn’t like you, you’d know,” Deborah said around a mouthful of cracker. “She’s really just shy. I thought she hated me the whole time we were setting up for camp, but she was the one who offered me a place to stay after…” Her voice trailed off and she lowered her eyes to her soup.

“Yeah,” Tommy said quietly.

“But she came and told you I was sick. She even gave you a key. I’d say she actually trusts you, even if she does keep telling me you’re ‘trouble.’”

Tommy laughed just the tiniest bit. “Trouble? I’m not trouble.”

“You are absolutely trouble.” Deborah smiled impishly at him as she took a sip of soup. “But you’re nice trouble. You didn’t even go home to change out of your work clothes.”

“I don’t mind, I didn’t want you left here all by yourself. And don’t tell me you would have been okay. You weren’t when I got here.” Deborah stuck out her tongue at him, then giggled.

“Touche, Tommy.” He smiled back at her, then leaned in close. A small squeak left Deborah’s lips as he impulsively pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Your forehead’s all sweaty,” he said, wrinkling his nose and making a face.

“Duh, I’m sick, remember?” Deborah teased, tossing a small fragment of cracker at him that had fallen on the couch. Tommy ducked away from it with a grin.

“I can stick around until AJ gets back, okay? I don’t want you left here alone.” For a moment, Deborah felt embarrassed to hear that. She’d never really had someone tell her they wanted to stick around for her sake, but it was a wonderful feeling too. Having Tommy around would definitely make the day less lonely.

The sound of the door opening made Tommy jump; Deborah had fallen asleep a while ago and he’d picked a book off a nearby shelf to keep him company. Evidently he’d dozed off as well, for the sun was low in the sky outside. He set the book down and stood up, coming face-to-face with AJ as he turned.

“She’s just sleeping,” he said, keeping his voice low. “I warmed up some soup for her earlier too.”

“She actually ate?” AJ whispered back. Tommy nodded. “Good.” Silence fell between them, draped over the scene like a heavy blanket. Finally Tommy sighed.

“I should be getting home, can you let her know I said goodbye?” He would have preferred to say it himself, but the night was coming fast and he still hadn’t been home. Driving along the road up to his cabin was still a bit unnerving at night too, even moreso after his last encounter with Jason.

AJ nodded. Tommy turned to leave, stopping by the door to take his jacket off a nearby hook, when AJ cleared her throat loudly. He glanced back over his shoulder. AJ had turned around, and she stood there, silhouetted against the light from the living room. “Thanks,” she said finally. “I guess you’re not as much trouble as I thought, Tommy Jarvis.”

If Deborah was correct, that was surprisingly high praise from AJ. Tommy smiled and nodded slightly in recognition, before slipping out the door and heading off into the night.

[avengerdragoness]

Trauma and Healing: Pride [Jason Todd x Reader]

A/n: Ch. 6! Sorry it took a while to get it out and I hope you guys like it! I loved writing it because I haven’t written for this series for a while. I hope you loves love it! Let me know what you loves think! Enjoy!

Italicized = Flashback

Warnings: Mentions of rape and assault, hearing whispers, mental illness, flashbacks to abuse

Tagging: @cherryignacio @queen-of-all-the-fandoms @keepjasontoddsafefromeveryone @aworldwideapart @just-a-girl-maybe @bat-lakota @sad-horchata @miraisnotavailable @comicbookworm @kazuha159

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9 - Alternate Ending

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Ch. 6 Pride

After they left that night you stayed on the roof, finishing your cigarette while watching the city lights. Listening to the voices whispering in your ears. Blowing out a puff of smoke you took in the feeling of the warm breeze tickle your skin. Letting out a breath you snuffed out your cigarette. Thoughts of the day rushed through your memory, shopping with Kori, getting samples with Roy, the bookstore with Jason. Is this what it’s like to have a normal life? Hanging out with your friends and enjoying life? You’d never enjoyed your life until now.

Taking a deep breath you took in the scent of the city with a hint of the ocean which was just a few miles away. Sighing you relaxed against the ledge, thinking ‘everything’s going to be alright.’

Saying goodnight to the city lights you turned around and headed to the fire escape. Climbing down you slipped in your window, closing it behind you and flipping the lock. Looking into the empty apartment a familiar, haunting, feeling of loneliness appeared in your heart. You hadn’t felt this in months, not since you were saved by Jason, Roy, and Kori.

Walking in the kitchen you chuckled at what was at the counter. Jason had left a note reminding you to eat and that there are leftovers in the fridge. “Such a worrier” mumbling to yourself before grabbing some left over chinese from the fridge. As it warmed up in the microwave you grabbed your book you had gotten earlier with Jason and flipped it to the first page. Reading the opening line aloud: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

“Hmm, ‘want of a wife.’” Repeating before the microwave went off. Setting the book aside you took out the food and grabbed a fork. Leaning against the counter you held the book in front of your face with one hand while the other scooped food up on the fork and into your mouth. Finishing up you tossed the dishes in the sink and marked your page before heading into your room to get ready for bed. After changing and brushing your teeth you nestled into your bed sheets. Missing saying ‘goodnight’ to Roy, Kori, and Jason. Along with the way one of them would always check up on you before the lot went to bed. Who where you kidding? They’re all worriers.

Falling asleep you had a dreamless night. Feeling as if you had just fallen asleep minutes prior, but light was peeking through your window, telling you it was morning. Slipping from your bed you found the apartment still empty, checking each of their rooms to find them abandoned. When checking Jason’s room you found some papers pertaining to the mission they were on now. Flipping through the pages you skimmed the text and pictures, though looking deeper into the pictures, it brought back terrifying memories.

“Would you restrain the little bitch already?!” A man yelled, your lungs burned from screaming. You felt belts tighten around your wrists and legs, strapping you to a chair. Your screaming continued until one of the men slapped you across your cheek, silencing you long enough to put tape over your mouth.

Seconds later a metal door was heard opening and slamming shut. A large man with dark hair and cold grey eyes appeared in front of you. A smirk that showed his yellowing teeth played on his vile features. “Well aren’t you a pretty one? My names King and we’re going to have some fun today princess.”

Your stomach turned at the way he eyed you and you felt the need to be sick. He walked over to a table with a bunch of tools. His hands hovered over them. “Now you can listen and behave, or you can be in a whole world of pain.” Tears streamed down your face as you watched him. You nodded as if saying you would behave. Smiling he removed the tape from your mouth. Crouching in front of you, his hand resting on your thigh, making you flinch. “Please” you begged, “Please don’t hurt me.”

“Oh I’m not gonna hurt you, princess.” His other hand held your chin before moving down your chest. That made you fight your bonds yelling “No! Stop! Don’t touch me!” His smirk dropped at your fighting. “Hard way it is” he growled before grabbing a prod and plunging it into your side, it sending electricity through you.

The jolt brought you back to reality as you jumped away from the pictures of the place where they break the girls and boys they kidnap. Break them to do their bidding, to be bought and sold. Breathing felt like the hardest thing on the planet, hands running through your hair before your knees buckled under you. A sob escaping your throat, your hand covering your mouth to muffle it. You weren’t sure how long you were crumpled on the floor, time seemed to stand still as your demons and nightmares came flooding back.

Not snapping out of it until hearing the apartment door open. Quickly, you wiped your cheeks and eyes. Composing yourself before walking out of the room. “[F/n]!” Kori cheered before tackling you into a hug. “Welcome home” but your reply was flat and void of any emotion. Kori looked at you quizzically but you shook it off. “Did you guys take the place down?” Asking as you walked away from her.

“Um we were just surveilling last night. Tonight we’re taking it down.” Jason answered. You turned to Jason, “I’m going with you.”

They all were shocked at your outburst. “No, nope, not gonna happen.” Jason shook his head. “Why not?!”

“[F/n] you’re not ready” Roy interjected. Your blood began to boil, “I’m going and you can’t stop me!” Yelling at them all. “It’s too dangerous” Kori put a hand on your shoulder of which you swatted away. “And I can handle myself! I’m going!”

“You’re not” Jason shook his head with his arms crossed. “And who's gonna stop me? You? Going to put a bullet in me? I’m used to it.” At that you turned around and pushed the window open, in desperate need of a smoke you climbed the fire escape.

Kori, Roy, and Jason exchanged a look. Sighing Jason went after you, slipping out on the fire escape. When he met you on the roof you already had a lit cigarette between your lips. “[F/n]” calling as he met your side. Looking at you, he waited for answers.

Sighing you turned to him, not meeting his eyes. “I just… I just need to go Jason. I have too.”

“Why?”

“Why?” You scoffed, meeting his blue hues with your own [e/c] ones. “Because… Because those bastards raped and tortured me. I want to be the ones to beat them to a bloody pulp, to break them the way they broke me.” You growled through grit teeth. Your tone was dangerously low and your fists were clenched so hard your knuckles turned white. If Jason didn’t know better, he’d think he was looking at some complete other person.

Jason stared at you, recognizing that look, that anger, he knew this was important. “Fine, but one condition. You’re with me the entire time. You never leave my side, understand?”

You nodded and his shoulders relaxed. He leaned against the ledge, “Got anymore of those?” Chuckling you handed him the pack. Turning he faced you, the cigarette hanging loosely between his lips. Handing you the pack back you returned it to it’s hiding place on the roof, walking in front of  him you held your lighter to his mouth. Your eyes flickered to his after lighting it, just now noticing how close you both were.

His eyes were trained on your lips before his flickered to yours. Both looking in each other’s eyes for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and leaned back against the ledge. You looked back out at the city, “I.. I didn’t mean to go off on you. I just, saw the pictures on your desk and recognized the place.” Shrugging before taking a drag of your cigarette.

“That’s where they break the people they kidnap?” He asked, looking over to you. You nodded in response, not having the courage to look over at him. “They did terrible things.” Your voice came out as a barely audible whisper, remembering the flashback you had. “I’m so---” He tried to say but you cut him off. “Please, don’t.” He nodded, before sighing. Snuffing out his cigarette, “If you’re coming we have to prep you.” You turned to him and followed his action of snuffing out the cigarette. “Let’s do this.”

Jason lead you back into the apartment. Roy and Kori were on the fence about allowing you on the mission but once you told them about what happens there, they understood. They briefed you on everything they had learned the prior night and Jason showed you the route you’d be accompanying him on. That lead all the way up until it was time to leave.

You were nervous, heart pounding while staring at your reflection in the mirror. The whispers ever so slightly in your ears. Your suit was black with [f/c] highlights. A domino mask covered your eyes and your hair was tied out of your face. A gun lay in a holster on your hip in case of emergency and a knife in the holster of your boot. You looked like a hero. Someone completely different. A new person entirely, someone stronger, more powerful, someone who could make a difference. For the first time in your life, you felt pride.

Nothing tore you out of your state or silenced the voices until a knock resounded on your door. “[F/n], you ready?” Kori asked as she came in the room. You nodded turning to her, “Do I fit the part?” She smiled and nodded, “[S/h/n] is going to be a force to be reckon with.” Kori’s encouraging words made the pride swell in your chest more.

Kori gestured for you to follow her and with a deep inhale and exhale you did, walking out into the living room where Jason and Roy saw you for the first time as [S/h/n]. “Whoa [F/n], lookin’ good.” Roy complemented soon after receiving a glare from Jason that went unnoticed by you. Looking at Roy you thanked him but your attention diverted to Jason, “What about you Jay? Good?” gesturing to yourself.

“Uhh” his mouth all of a sudden became dry and his two other teammates snickered. “Yeah, yeah you look great [F/n]. Really great.” You smiled at his words and nodded, that’s when Roy stood up. “Alright, now that we’re done fawning over [F/n]...Jason” He coughed, earning another glare from the marksman. “Let’s go kick some ass” Roy grinned and jumped out onto the fire escape. Kori close behind him.

Taking another calming deep breath, you went to follow. Though you were stopped by a hand on your shoulder, “Don’t worry, you can handle this.” Jason said as you turned to him. A small smile was quirked on his lips, and his eyes held a sort of adoration. “You’ll do great, just stay calm and focus. I’ll be right beside you.”

Grinning you gave him a confident nod, “I know, thanks Jay.”

“No problem, now let’s move out.” He gave your shoulder a light squeeze before heading out the window with you close on his trail. A smile adhered your features, they really believe in you.