#I was late to unmuting so I had no idea that it was this song until the chorus kicked in

[bullshxtvixen]

On Mute

Pairing: Kenma x Reader

Request: This is me making the request for sucking Kenma while he streams. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I NEED IT! - @queenktbigal​

Word count: 3.2k (oops)

Warnings: 18+, Softdom!Kenma, Bondage, Spanking, Finger fucking.

Song: Gravity by John Mayer

A/n: Thank you to @kiribakuho​ and @egghoe-waffle​ for reading this over for me, and to everyone in the karasuhoe discord server for thirsting over this idea with me, i hope i did it justice!!

You can find the sequel to this fic here

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

“Kenmaaaaa.” 

Standing in the doorway of your boyfriend's gaming room in nothing but one of his old volleyball shirts and a thin pair of underwear, you looked at the back of the brunette’s head with a pout. He’d spent the last 2 hours streaming with the boys and you were desperate for some attention.

Pulling his headset back slightly to free up an ear, he mumbled to the guys about hopping off for a second before he turned to you, a sheepish smile playing on his lips. You watched his eyes widen slightly as he took in your bare thighs and his old shirt loosely clinging to your form -even though he no longer played, he still got a thrill out of seeing you wearing his number. He shuffled in his seat, tempted to reach out and slip the shirt off of you.

His eyes lingered on your thighs a moment longer, his tongue darting out to coat his bottom lip before his golden eyes met yours. A smirk forms on your lips at the blush covering his cheeks.

“I-I’ll be done after this game, I promise, bunny.” He turned back to the game, repositioning his headset. He needed to finish the game but his mind was already distract by thought of his fingers running up and down the soft skin of your thighs.

Your smirk disappeared. 

You were well aware that ‘After this game’ could mean anywhere from another 20 minutes to an hour, and you were too needy for that. You needed to feel his hands on you.

 You watched him a moment longer before a thought occurred to you. Let’s see if he can concentrate after this. Peering over his shoulder, you checked to make sure that he was only streaming via audio before shimmying your underwear down your legs and kicking them to the side. His shirt fell just below your butt so you were still covered.

Without bringing too much attention to yourself, you crept over to the side of his gaming chair before sinking to your knees. He was so engrossed in the game and mumbling commands under his breath that he didn’t notice you until you began to slowly turn his chair towards you, and even then his eyes never left the monitor in front of him. It wasn’t unusual for you to climb into his lap when he was gaming so he didn’t think anything of it. 

However, his head did snap in your direction, when he felt your fingers tug on the waistband of his sweatpants, “what are y-oh” it was too late for his hand that was reaching out to stop you. His cock was already released from it’s confines with your hand wrapped firmly around it, gently stroking his shaft. He immediately became hard under your touch and knowing that you had that effect on him had desire pooling in your stomach. 

You subtly rubbed your thighs together to create some friction.

Covering his mic with one hand, his free hand shot out and wrapped around your wrist, halting your movements. “What are you doing, bunny?!” He hissed, though you felt his cock twitch in your hand. He was getting turned on just as much as you.

You shot him a wicked smile before stroking your thumb over the tip on his cock, a move you knew would drive him wild.

His reaction was immediate, his hips bucked up into your hand as he bit back the moan that was threatening to leave his throat. 

‘I want to suck your cock’ you mouthed before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the head of his now leaking member.

Kenma knew he should’ve pushed you away, or at least quit the game and carried you to the bedroom so he could take you there, but the sight of you pulling back from his cock with his precum coating your lips as if it were lipgloss, had all sense of reason flying out of his brain.

If that’s how you wanted to play, then so be it. 

“Give me a sec, guys.” He mumbled into his mic as he uncovered it before hitting the mute button. Releasing your wrist from his grasp, he reached for your chin, his soft fingers tilting your head so you could meet his eyes. Desire swirled in them, causing your body to heat up under his gaze. 

His usual laid back demeanor had gone and was now replaced with hunger. He wanted you, and the look alone told you his was going to have you begging for him.

He leaned forward so that his face was hovering just above yours, forcing you to crane your neck to look up at him. His warm breath ghosted over your lips, sending another shiver down your spine as his scent wrapped around you.

“You want to suck my cock, bunny?” His thumb swiping across your bottom lip before giving it a gentle tug. You nodded, giving his cock a gentle squeeze to convey your need for him. He leant back, a small smirk falling on his lips.

“Then suck it,” he held up a finger before you could move an inch, “but I’m going to finish this game and unmute the mic while you do it.”

You tensed. While the thought of sucking him off when there was a risk of people overhearing turned you on, you couldn’t help but still be a little apprehensive about it. Looking at Kenma, you could see that he thought he’d won as a smug smile settled on his features. He didn’t think for a second you’d go through with it.

Reaching over his desk, you pressed the unmute button so that the light switched from red to green, meaning that the mic was back on. “Game on.” You whispered.

Then your hot tongue was on his cock, licking a slip up his thick shaft before taking the tip into your mouth. He had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from moaning as your tongue danced around his tip, licking up the precum that was still collecting there. God, he did he taste good. There was no way you’d ever get bored of the way he tasted.

Turning his head back to the game, he managed to keep his voice level as he let the other players know that he was back in.

That just wouldn’t do. You wanted to see him writhe under your touch. 

Hollowing your cheeks you began to take more of him into your mouth, sucking and swirling your tongue around him as you did. You loved how big his cock was, even as it hit the back of your throat and caused you to gag, you only continued to suck harder.

Your free hand gripped his thigh as your head continued to bob up and down his length, your hand working what you couldn’t fit passed your lips. Meeting his eyes, he mouthed ‘all of it.’ before giving a gentle thrust of his hips and turning back to the game. As he hit the back of your throat once again, you felt your throat protest. Pulling away for air, you felt his hand reach down to fist in the back of your hair, preventing you from taking his cock all the way out of your mouth.

You moaned around what was left between your lips, the vibrations almost causing him to spill into your mouth right there. Fuck, did you feel good, he should’ve known his third favourite hole of yours would be able to work him well enough to have him ready to cum in minutes. He wasn’t going to let you have that satisfaction though.

Even still, that mouth of yours knew exactly how to work his cock and he was having a hard time remembering how to breath properly, let alone concentrate on the game in front of him. 

“You good, Kenma?” Kuroo’s voice came through the headset.

“Y-yeah, just having some issues...with my controls.” He said, his voice higher than he’d meant it to be as your mouth made a sinful sound around him. 

“You sure, I thought I heard a weird noise…” 

“It’s nothing!” He said quickly, too quickly. He hoped they didn’t press any further. He held his breath for a few seconds, but if Kuroo and the rest of the party suspected anything, they didn’t voice it. He let out a shaky breath.

Good. He didn’t actually want them to hear the lewd sounds your mouth was making as you took his cock down your throat. Those sounds belonged to him and only him.

He loosened his grip on your hair but you continued to take him further as your throat relaxed around his length, your nose now hitting the spatter of dark pubic hairs at the base of his cock. When you hummed around him and brought your fingers up to gently massage his balls, his whole body seemed to convulse under your touch.

Shaking his head, he tried to focus back on the game, his grip on the mouse a little tighter. His eyes followed his player on the screen when he spotted movement in the corner of the screen.

“Sniper, to the r—” He heard Kuroo -or maybe it was Shoyo, he couldn’t tell anymore, his mind was hazy with lust- call out, but it was too late. It was game over.

Throwing his headset onto the desk, he turned to you, his eyes burning into yours. You felt your walls clench between your thighs, your arousal beginning to leak out of you.

“Up, now.” You didn’t need to be told twice. You stood up in front of him, waiting for him to make the first move.

“Bunny, that mouth of yours...it’s sinful.” His voice was low as his hand reached out to caress your inner thigh, his fingers leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. “I couldn’t even concentrate on the game, I just wanted to watch you taking me between those beautiful lips.” Up and up his fingers went, “but now, now I want to see myself disappearing into the ones between your hips.” His fingers reached the apex of your thighs and he groaned.

“You’re not wearing any underwear, Bunny. Did you plan this?” He already knew the answer. You could only moan as he slipped two fingers in you, his thumb beginning to make tight circles on your throbbing clit.

“You’re already dripping and i’ve hardly touched you,” his fingers picked up their pace inside you as the knot in your stomach began to tighten, “always so ready for me like the good girl you are. Even if I couldn’t feel how wet for me you are, I’d be able to tell from those sounds your pussy is making around my fingers.” 

You could only whimper at his words and grasp onto his shoulders as he curled and scissored his fingers, stretching your walls in the most intoxicating way. Your legs began to tremble as his other hand shot out and gave you a firm smack on your ass.

“Put your foot up here, bunny.” his fingers continued to work inside you as you placed your foot on his chair next to his leg. Your head fell back as he was now able to slide another finger inside you and reach even deeper than before, brushing against your sweet spot with every movement of his wrist. 

“Fu-, Kenma, fuck. Oh god.” Your words were failing you as he continued to pump his fingers inside of you, his palm now pressing against your clit as your fingers dug into his shoulders. He groaned at the feeling, dipping his head down to kiss your inner thigh. You were his and only he could ever make you feel this good, you both knew it.

“I want you to cum on my fingers, now.” Then his teeth were nipping at your inner thigh as he pressed his fingers against your g spot. Kenma watched as your orgasm consumed you, your hanging out the side of your mouth and your eyes closed as the ecstasy ran though your body. 

His cock was throbbing unbearably now, his hand reaching down to stroke himself as he felt your walls continue to clench around his fingers that were still moving inside you, prolonging your orgasm as much as he could. He wasn’t done with you just yet.

Before you had a chance to come down from your orgasm, he was removing his digits from your greedy cunt, your juices coating his hand. Your eyes were heavy as you watched him bring the hand to his mouth so that he could lap at your juices.

“You taste amazing, bunny,” he licked some more of your release off his fingers as you brought your foot back down to the ground, your legs unsteady, “no one else will ever get to taste you, you’re all mine.” You were his, you always had been, you both knew it.

“All yours, Kenma. Forever.” you whispered, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. He leaned into it, pressing a kiss to your wrist. His heart swelled at your words, he’d never wanted you more than he did right now. 

“Turn around for me, hands behind your back.” You hesitated for a second, searching his eyes for any hint of what he had planned. Unable to find anything you turned and did as he said. You heard shuffling before you felt something being tied around your wrists, securing them in place behind your back.

“Wha-” 

Before you could ask what he’d used to tie your wrists, you were spun around and pulled into Kenma’s lap, a knee falling on either side of his thighs. His hands reached out to steady you as you were unable to use your hands to stop you from falling. 

His face was just inches from yours. You could see your breath moving the hairs that fell on his forehead, pushing them out of his eyes as they peered up at your disheveled state. His hand came up to brush some of your own hairs out of your face, tucking them behind your ear. He took your chin between his thumb and index finger, bringing you even closer to him.

“Do you have any idea how crazy you make me, Bunny?” then warm lips were on your throat as his hands slipped beneath his shirt you were wearing, trailing his fingers over your stomach and under your breasts before settling on your thighs. You shivered under his touch, your arousal beginning to coil in your stomach again. You whimpered as you pulled at your restraints -that you now realised must’ve been some kind of spare cord from his computer- wanting to touch him. 

You could feel his cock pressing against your entrance, your juices coating his tip so that he’d be able to slip inside you so easily.

“Please, Kenma. I-I need you.” You grind down onto him, needing him to fill you.

He let out a groan, his hips coming up to meet yours so that just the head of cock was inside you. He was teasing you, finally getting his own back for how you’d snuck up on him earlier. You tried desperately to sink down onto him but his grip on your hips stopped you. It was driving you mad.

Every nerve in your body felt like it was on fire, there was no one who could drive you crazy like him and he knew it.

Removing a hand from your hip, he reached around your back before grabbing a fist full of your hair and giving it yank, making your head fall back so that your throat was exposed to him. 

You yelped at the pain but it was quickly forgotten as Kenma used your vulnerable state to press a kiss to each of your collar bones, before licking a hot path up the hollow of your throat. You shivered at the feel of his tongue on your skin.

Then he was wrapping his free arm around your back and easing you down into his cock, your jaw hanging loose as he finally filled you in the most delicious way.

“Good girl, take it for me.” And you did. He didn’t give you anytime to get accused to his length before his hands were back on your hips and he was guiding you up and down on his hardened shaft.

The feel of him stretching you had your head swimming as you braced your forehead on his shoulder and began to match his pace. The grip he had on your hips was sure to leave marks, but you didn’t care, you craved his hands on you.

Your moans filled the room as you felt another orgasm building. His lips latched onto your neck as he angled his hips to a new position that allowed his cock to hit a spot inside you as stars danced across your vision.

“Kenma, I’m close, I’m so close, please.” 

He knew you were, he could feel your walls beginning to clamp around him, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer either. 

His thrusts became sloppy as a thin sheen of sweat coated the both of you. His hand grasped your chin and pulled your face to his, needing to feel your lips on his. Your breaths mingled as your stomach tightened once again.

“Cum for me, bunny. Cum on my cock like a good girl.” he whispered against your lips as his arms wrapped around your waist, stilling your movements. He picked up his pace, giving a few more hard thrust inside your sopping pussy, feeling your body seize up in his hold as another orgasm ripped through you.

“Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou.” was all you could say as you were lost to the ecstasy that flowed through your body. It had your eyes squeezing shut and your toes curling as you rode it out. 

Kenma followed not long after, his teeth latching onto your shoulder as his warm cum coated your walls. His breathing was heavy as you sank into his chest, his now limp cock falling out of you. 

You felt empty for a second before warm lips were placed on your forehead, his hand coming up to brush your hair from your sweaty forehead. He reached around and removed the makeshift restraint from your wrists, placing a soft kiss to the raw skin on each one.

“That was...” you started, unable to find the words.

“Mind blowing?” He muttered into your hair, his voice sleepy. He shifted you in his arms, picking you so he could carry you to the bedroom.

You peaked up at him through your lashes and he gave you one of his private smiles. It made your heart squeeze. He shared so much of himself with you that no one else got to see and it made you unbelievably happy.

Sighing with content, you looked over his shoulder at where he’d just fucked you and you froze in his grasp.

“Um, Kenma...”

He stopped in the doorway. “What is it, bunny?”

You could only nod your head towards the gaming set up and the bright green mute button that you knew should’ve been red if it was on mute.

He turned his head to see what you were referring to. When he realised what you meant, his whole body tensed.

“Oh fuck.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

Yeah, so i got a little bit carried away with this request and i’m not sorry. I can’t even begin to describe how much fun i had writing this. I live for soft dom Kenma!! - Vixen

[whats-rambled-rambled]

stuck in stories - a hostage situation

Neil x Reader

summary: the intel you’d received was shit lacking, and as the mission got awry, you had to improvise.

+ song: Nothing But Thieves - Particles

warnings: language, some violence, blood mention, hand content

author’s note: thank you so much for inspiring me to write this little piece, my dear friend. And for that fantastic song.

This one is more action-packed than the previous works, I hope you’re going to like it!

This is a one-shot, but as usual - hits differently in you’re familiar with Neil and Reader from Stuck in Reverse series.

Enjoy and let me know what you think! 

___

You ducked between the crates. The dim light of the warehouse was working to your advantage. 

But you could already hear the ruckus at the corridor, the doors you’d barricaded were not going to hold for much longer. 

You checked the ammo - two bullets left. 

“I’m almost out, you?” you whispered as you stopped in the darkest spot you could find.

Neil crouched right next to you and shot you a quick, panicked look. 

Shit. 

You gritted your teeth, your mind racing to find a solution for the unfortunate situation you’d found yourselves in. Aborting the mission was one option, but both of you knew that an opportunity like this is not going to happen anytime soon. What else? 

“We could wait for them here, let them spread out, and take them one by one.”

Neil raised a brow, quite amused at the idea. “And rely on your sneaking skills?” he snorted and shook his head. “Just shoot me now.”

“Fuck you, darling,” you huffed, punching him in the arm. He got a point though. You sighed. “Fair enough, we need a distraction, then. Any ideas?”

He chewed on his bottom lip as he glanced over his shoulder at the other side of the hall. His face was tense, but the corner of his mouth curled into a smile. “You’re not going to like it.”  

You were sure of it. But the time was running out, and so were your options. 

“Hit me.”

Neil took a deep breath. “Remember Munich?” he said and his eyes lit up. “I believe it’s my turn now.”

Of course you remembered. You’d had to improvise to buy some time for the rest of the team to get on the site, so you’d acted as a decoy. What you also remembered was spending the next two weeks in the hospital. 

And that agonizing pain.

You winced at the memory. You were not willing to see anyone in that state ever again. Especially not him. 

“Forget it, I’m not leaving you--”

Neil turned your way and placed both hands on your arms. “Those guys are pawns. I’ll be fine.” His voice was calm, but it sent a cold shiver down your spine anyway. You knew he’d made up his mind already.

A loud bang on the other side of the hall. 

They were getting closer. 

A spike of panic was trying to force its way through your mind, but you were so deep in your mission mode, you barely felt it. The only indication of its presence was the pulse pounding in your ears. 

“But-”

Neil’s gloved hand covered your mouth as he peeked from your cover. He clenched his jaw and looked back at you with determination. “Don’t argue with me. Get the pass-codes and radio-in the cavalry,” he said, searching your eyes for any sign of compliance. You stared back at him in a silent protest. “Please.” His dark gaze got softer, finally breaking your will. 

You nodded. 

Neil exhaled slowly and lowered his hand. You grabbed it and squeezed his fingers reassuringly.

“I’ll find you.”

He quickly pulled you closer into a kiss. “I know. Run.”

And so you did. 

You reached the first door and managed to force a lock when you heard the sound of the barricade being breached. You rushed into a corridor and cocked your pistol, just in case there was any leftover security personnel at this side of the compound. There shouldn’t be any, but the intel you’d received at your briefing had already turned out to be lacking. 

Finding the right room wasn’t a problem. Neither was overriding another, more advanced lock. Late-night lessons with Neil turned out to be invaluable. You could almost hear his clear instructions in your mind, walking you through the whole process. 

The memory of one of your first lockpicking lessons flashed before your eyes. Losing your patience and groaning in frustration after breaking yet another tool. Neil’s arms wrapped around you, his hands on yours, slowly but steadily guiding your movements.

You smiled to yourself as the door gave in with a quiet click. You slipped into the room and looked around. Someone definitely tried to make it look like an elevated boss office, but you didn’t have time to muse over the poor choices in interior design. You jumped to the desk, reaching for a pendrive hidden in your vest. As you plugged it into the computer and ran a script to help you sneak into the system, you could finally signal the team. 

“Ives, do you copy? We need a backup over here,” you barked into a walkie and tossed it on the desk. 

“Copy. ETA to secondary breach location - thirteen minutes. Hang in there.”

No questions asked? Must have been something in your tone. 

A minute later, you gained access to all files and after a quick search, you found what you’d been looking for. You copied the files and hesitated. Biting your lip, you typed in a few commands and pulled out feeds from the security cameras on the screen. You browsed through the images from different locations, trying to find any clue about Neil’s whereabouts. 

You inhaled sharply. There he was, sitting on the chair in the middle of a room, with his hands tied behind his back. A woman in a black security uniform was standing in front of him, her back facing the camera. She punched Neil in the face, the force of that blow almost sending him to the ground. You spurted out a litany of cuss words as you unmuted the feed.

“I’ve asked you a question, pretty boy.”

You clenched your hands on the edge of the desk, watching as Neil spat out blood on the ground. 

“So that was the annoying ringing in my ear,” he scoffed, his lips curled in a sly smile. “Blimey.”

The next punch landed on his stomach, making him bend in half breathless.

“Where is your partner?” the woman snarled, grabbing Neil by the hair and making him look at her.

“Got out and left me here,” he said, coughing out. 

“If you’re lying-”

Even with the questionable quality of the feed, you could see his eyes lighting up. “What, you’re gonna beat me?” he mocked with a shit-eating grin.

“Oh honey, I’ve barely touched you,” the woman chuckled, taking his chin in her palm and squeezing it. She glanced over her shoulder and you realized there must have been someone else in the room with them. “Check it.”

“Take your time!” Neil called after the person leaving the room. For a brief moment, his gaze focused on the camera, as if he knew you were watching him. He shifted slightly, wincing. You noticed a trickle of blood coming down his face from the cut on his cheekbone. The way he wanted to look relaxed, leaning back on the chair with his legs spread wide, made you grit your teeth. The corner of his lips twitched as he raised a brow. “So... you come here often?” 

A hysterical giggle escaped your mouth. Oh god, he was going to get himself killed.

You reached for the walkie. “Got the codes, on my way to the rendezvous point.” 

“Copy. Meet you there in five.”

Packing your things and erasing every sign of your presence from the room, you took one more look at the screen, just in the right moment to see a precise kick landing on Neil’s ribs. You closed your eyes, but you could still hear his muffled groan.

“Ives,” - you said, turning off the computer and making your way out - “hurry up, please.”

With the help of the squad, you secured the area in no time. As you burst into the room where Neil was being held captive, you didn’t hesitate. It took you a second to lock on the woman you’d seen on the screen just minutes before, another second to put a bullet into her head. Few more shots echoed through the room. Only when Wheeler called all clear, you allowed yourself to look at Neil, sitting still on the chair in the middle of the room. 

The vacant stare he gave you made your heart clench in your chest.

Before you could run to him, Ives grabbed your elbow. 

“Child’s play, eh? What happened here?”

You glared at him, flashing your teeth in frustration. 

Couldn’t it wait?

“We’ve run out of luck. Or your intel was shit. You pick.”

“Fucking hell,” Ives let go of you, his face tense as he considered your words. He glanced towards Neil and rolled his eyes. “Oi, mate, stop slacking, could have gotten out of those knots like three times since we came in.”

That made Neil finally focus his gaze. 

As you walked up to him, he blinked a few times and winced, releasing his hands from the ropes. He rubbed his wrists and scoffed, “A little sympathy wouldn’t kill you, you know.”

Now that your adrenaline rush was wearing off, you were slowly getting overflown by the emotions you’d kept bottled up since the moment you split up in the warehouse. Seeing Neil’s face up close, covered in bruises, bleeding from cuts on his eyebrow and cheekbone, brought a choking lump to your throat. 

You knelt in front of him and carefully took his hands in yours, only then realizing that he no longer had his gloves on. You held your breath as your eyes ran along the wounds on his knuckles. His long fingers trembled lightly as he interlocked them with yours, making you glance up to meet his eyes.

Neil looked at you tenderly, but he clearly struggled with concentrating his gaze on a single point.

“I’m fine,” he said softly and gave you a weak smile.

You bit your lip. You desperately wanted to kiss him, but you were too afraid to hurt him to even graze your fingertips against his face. There was also the tiny part of you not willing to make a scene in front of your team, but to be honest, you were way past caring at that point. As your thumbs gently stroked his fingers, you let out a shaky breath. 

You stood up and reached out your hand to help him get up, but he waved at you dismissively. You rolled your eyes, still ready to provide a safeguard at any moment.

And you were right to do so; as soon as Neil got up and tried to take a step, he lost his balance. 

“I’ve got you,” you said, taking his arm and tossing it on your shoulders, wrapping your own arm around his back. Neil leaned on you and frowned, shooting you a thankful look. 

As you guided him towards the door, you noticed his clenched jaw and a pale shade on the uninjured parts of his face. 

He was far from fine and both of you knew it.

And to think he could have escaped his bounds way before you got to him if only he’d wanted to. You shook your head. “Why the hell did you let them do all of that to you?” you said under your breath.

His brows drew together as if you just asked about the most obvious thing in the world.

“Because as long as they were focusing on me, they wouldn’t be focusing on you.”

[litwitlady]

Prompt 38: “I’ve spent all my nights dreaming of you in my arms peacefully sleeping and here you are.”

Alex is at work late on a Friday night when his phone buzzes on his desk. It's one of his security cameras and he frantically clicks through the app to find Michael Guerin smiling at him from the front door of his house. He points to his ear and Alex raises the volume, sticking his earbuds in his own ears.

'Hey, do you mind?' He jiggles the door handle indicating he wants inside.

‘No. Won’t be home to later anyway.’ Alex watches at Michael concentrates his telekinesis on unlocking the door and stepping inside. He smiles and gives Alex a little wave. ‘Thanks!’

Since they’ve returned to being friends, Michael has started spending large amounts of time at Alex’s house. Hours watching Netflix when Alex isn’t home or cooking something to take to one of Isobel’s famous family dinners. It’s a very careful dance they are both participating in with no real idea of how to move things forward.

Alex tries to return to his work. Manages for all of twenty minutes before clicking back into his security feed. He finds Michael on his piano bench, guitar tucked under his arms. It’s not at all the sight Alex had expected. He puts his earbuds back in and unmutes his phone.

Michael’s pleasantly scratchy voice plays through the tiny speakers.

‘I’ve spent all my nights

dreaming of you

in my arms peacefully sleeping

and here you are’

It’s not a song Alex recognizes, no matter how hard he racks his brain. He watches as Michael tugs a small notebook out of his back pocket and removes a pencil tucked behind his ear. He makes several notes and then tosses both items aside.

Alex clicks the voice button on the living room feed. ‘Are you writing a song?’

Michael jumps at the sudden interruption and smirks up at the camera. ‘Are you spying on me?’

‘It’s my house!’ Alex laughs and then softens. ‘I like it. It suits your voice.’

Michael strums a few stray chords. ‘I was thinking you could write an accompanying piece for the piano. Maybe we could sing it together.’ He looks back up at the camera. ‘Next open mic night.’

Alex shuts his eyes in silent prayer as relief washes over him. The dance is finally nearing its conclusion.

‘I’d like that.’ Michael smiles and returns to his song. Alex closes his laptop and decides his work can wait.

He pulls into his driveway forty minutes later and can hear the guitar as soon as he steps out of his car. Alex heads to his front door and reaches into his pocket for his keys, but the lock clicks open before he can pull them free. He hesitates at first, but eventually, shoves the door aside. Not bothering to remove his hat or his boots as he moves towards Michael’s voice.

Michael stops playing as soon as he sees Alex. He puts the guitar gently on the sofa and stands. Several quiet, drawn-out beats pass. Clock ticking loudly on the fireplace mantel. Michael searches for something to say, but then Alex takes the first step forward. And his brain entirely forgets anything that’s not Alex’s mouth.

Their lips crush together so hard their teeth clink. So many of their kisses have been desperate, hungry things, but this time it’s different. It’s still desperate. It’s still hungry. But now it’s grounded in a certainty that was always lacking before. The certainty that this won’t be the last time. The certainty that this is only the first of many.

They order delivery and spend the rest of the night finishing Michael’s song - their song. Fucking each other into orgasm several times along the way. It’s a pretty good estimation of how the rest of their lives will play out.

[tiphansia]

long and negative post under the cut that’s just a giant wall of text with no breaks lmao

ah lads now i’ve really done it, accidentally left myself unmuted in the voice chat of a discord server of online friends to whom I never said a word about being trans. In fact I lied about it, when asked earlier I said I was a cis dude. I even played up being a little homophobic/transphobic as a joke to reinforce the perception of cis-ness. But now they’ve found out I’m actually trans which is the most wildly humiliating thing that could happen to me on there. This sucks ahah god now they’re going to think of me differently and accidentally misgender me sometimes like they do with the other trans people in the server which i don’t mind in principle but the big problem is that it means they aren’t perceiving me as male anymore which. Really sucks. God it’s really my fault for lying to them but all I wanted was to be treated as normal. That’s not a crime, right? All I wanted was to be one of them and not a weird outsider like how they treat the other trans dudes. I feel like I’ve betrayed my own kind in some way. I even have an irrational hatred towards everyone who heard me, which is completely stupid given that it’s my fault for leaving myself unmuted. I wish they would hate me because it would make me feel a lot better if they did, but no one is mad at me and it’s making me feel sick. Hmm. Privileged problems, right? I know people out there have it worse than me and that I don’t even deserve to feel sad about this because nothing bad has ever happened to me in my entire life but still. I can’t help but be sad, and it makes me feel better to post this into the unfeeling void. Might get hate for this, but I really wish conversion therapy actually worked and was legal, I’d be the first in line to sign myself up. To me, the thought of becoming a woman makes me absolutely scared and sick, and therefore I am scared of conversion therapy in this hypothetical scenario, but just like dying, once it’s over I won’t care anymore. So it’s the most logical thing to wish for out of all my stupid fantasies, even though it’s the most painful one. My other fantasy is to go back in time and mess with my dna so that I’d grow up a cis boy, but of course that’s impossible. I once saw a post about how any religion that touts the idea of suffering as a virtue is one to be wary of, but I subscribe to that idea myself. Even though I don’t really have much real pain in my life since it’s not like being trans is actually the worst thing in the world (to me it is the ultimate shame), the idea that my being trans (very minor pain compared to others I know) is somehow a test of my character comforts me. I don’t know what scares me more, the fact that I’ll be like this my entire life, or the idea that it’s temporary, I’ll detransition, and all this pain was just made up for nothing. I also don’t believe in god logically, but whenever I’m in pain it’s comforting to think that there’s someone I can talk to, even if no one is actually listening. I think the most use that could come out of my life would be as a murder victim of a trans hate crime, so people can use my death to advance the cause. At least I’d be doing something useful for once. I think I’d make a fine martyr, too. I feel subhuman a lot of times, like everyone around me is looking at me and speaking to me without noticing that I’m a cursed and rotten creature to be crushed under their shoes. I almost wish people would hate me more so I wouldn’t feel like such a liar all the time, even though really I’m not lying about anything. I feel though that even by attempting to pass as male, I’m deceiving people. I’m a man inside I know but it’s so hard to even say the words or even think them because of this stupid shell of perception. I look and sound like Minnie mouse, anyone I told would burst out laughing if I told them: “I’m a man.” God, it even sounds so stupid here. I get by by presenting as ambiguously as possible, and saying nothing about pronouns unless directly asked. I’m such a pussy, not strong enough to stay female-presenting, too weak to correct pronouns and perception, and not even man enough to kill myself when I should have. It’s been 3 or 4 years since I was severely suicidal, and still I think life would not have changed for those around me if I had died then. I still wish I’d killed myself then, or at least tried. It’s kind of my life motto at this point: “Too pussy to do anything”. Even now as the grand landmark age of 18 draws near, all the hopes I placed on it in years past are evaporating. I told myself, “When we’re 18 we can get on hormones, we can change are name, we can finally live a full life”. And now, life’s realities are becoming clear. Transition with what money? And how are we going to deal with the family? I’d rather die than come out, but I’d also rather die than not transition. Real sticky situation we got here. Looks like I won’t be able to transition until my late 20s, which is horrifyingly far away to me. I thought I couldn’t make it until 18, but here I (almost) am. I know I can make it until then, but it makes me so unbelievably sad, and I can already imagine the amount of suffering in my future between now and then. Plus, I was on track to have a beautiful and privileged life. Was a 4.0 student, in multiple honors societies, great standardized test scores, the works. Now I’m none of that except the test scores  due to me being a dumb piece of shit this entire school year and letting my half a decade of hard work swirl down the drain along with my life prospects. Hell, it’s starting to look like I’m gonna be a highschool dropout. Me! It’s unthinkable. I’m gonna end up working in retail or at mcdonalds or something and while all work is honorable work, I’m not going to be making enough to fucking live off of, much less transition. I was set up for greatness, man. I let everyone down cause. Well, I don’t even know what happened,w as probably depressed or something but I can’t remember most of this entire school year so I’m not sure. Being trans ruined everything for me. I wouldn’t have ever even been depressed if I wasn’t trans. I’d be in the qualifying race for the cross country junior olympics if it wasn’t for being trans. To be honest I miss track, but guess what! You’re trans, no sex-segregated sports for you. You either have to come out and do sports with your chosen gender, or stay closeted to your parents and out yourself as a tranny to your entire fucking high school. I mean sure the whole world’s probably thinking, “Boo fucking hoo tumblr user tiphansia, let me play you a song on the world’s tiniest violin, those are first world problems” and yeah they certainly are but it doesn’t make it any less upsetting to me. Just let me have my little pity party in my little corner of the internet. I miss my online friends. Normally my response to anything painful that has to do with my being trans is just denial denial denial until even I forget the event, but I’m pretty sure my brain can’t take any more forgetting. I’ve forgotten this entire year I can’t do this anymore. I have to be strong and face it and stop being a pussy. I hope it turns out well for me. and for whoever made it this far reading hope your life goes well too. Thanks for listening. Goodnight.

[once-upon-a-spemily]

What You Really Need (1/2)

Summary: All Hanna wants is for her two best friends to fall in love, get married, and spend the rest of their lives together. Is that too much for a girl to ask?

A/N: So. I decided to try something...different with this fic. This is an au spemily fic told from Hanna’s perspective. So she (and Caleb) are featured pretty prominently, trying very, very hard to set up Spencer and Emily. I think it’s cute and fun, and I hope you all like it!

Hanna’s a good matchmaker, okay? She’s set up lots of people. She’s good at it. She tells this to Caleb when they’re watching Project Runway (her idea, not his, but god love him, he does actually pay attention) and he just looks over at her from where he’s sitting on the couch, with her legs in his lap.

“I know,” he says. He reaches out, massaging her ankle. Hanna flexes her foot in spite of herself. “What brought this up?”

Hanna shrugs. “Who said it had to be something? Maybe it���s just random?”

Caleb gets this little shit-eating grin like he doesn’t believe that. Hanna huffs. She really can’t get away with anything in front of him. “You know the housewarming we’re having next week?”

“Yeah.”

“I invited Spencer.”

“Cool,” Caleb says. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Hanna shrugs and she unmutes the tv. “I invited Emily, too.”

Caleb just laughs, and Hanna kicks him. “Spencer moved to town, what, two weeks ago? Isn’t it a little early to be messing with her love life?”

Hanna rolls her eyes. “I’ve known that girl my whole life. If anyone knows what she needs, it’s me.”

“Of course,” Caleb says, nodding solemnly. Too solemnly. He’s so full of shit. Hanna kicks him again, just for good measure.

--

It’s not a housewarming party, really. It’s an apartment-warming. She and Caleb will get a house someday, but the apartment is huge, and it’s actually really gorgeous, thank you very much, and Hanna loves any excuse for a party so. Housewarming.

“Han!”

Hanna is already into her second glass of sangria when she hears Spencer call her name.

She immediately peels off from Caleb and runs to Spencer, giving her a big hug.

“Hey!” she says. “You made it!”

She presses a glass of sangria into Spencer’s hand before she can say anything, and then Hanna loops their arm together.

“You ready to meet some people?”

Spencer looks at the drink in her hand apprehensively, but she manages a smile at Hanna. “Sure.”

Look. Look. When she was younger, Hanna might just haul Spencer right over to Emily. But she’s not in high school anymore. She’s not even in college. She’s an adult, and she has tact, and so she bides her time. She introduces Spencer to Mona and they hate each other immediately, as expected.

Then, when Hanna looks across the room and sees that Aria and Emily are talking, Hanna grins to herself, takes Spencer by the hand and drags her over.

“Spencer! This is perfect,” she says. “Spencer, this is Aria Montgomery and Emily Fields. Aria, Em, it’s time for you to meet Spencer Hastings!”

It’s about time for her childhood bestie to meet her college besties and vice versa. Hanna can’t really get swept up in the sentimentality over it, though, because she’s trying not to stare at Spencer as she watches her look at Emily for the first time.

She’s right about this. Hanna knows she’s right about this.

Spencer’s quick about it. She’s subtle. But her eyes rake down Emily’s body before they slide up again, and she’s reaching out her hand, shaking Aria’s first and then Emily’s and shit, it’s barely there, maybe Hanna just wants this too much, but she swears Spencer is staring.

Hanna talks with them for about a minute before she excuses herself to go play host. She waits another five before she calls Aria over because she “needs help with something”.

See? She can be subtle, too.

“It’s so nice to finally meet Spencer,” Aria says as she uncorks a malbec that Hanna definitely could’ve opened on her own. “We’ve only heard about her for what, six years? Seven?”

“Something like that,” Hanna muses, letting her eyes slide over to the corner of the living room where Spencer and Emily are still talking.

Emily is perched on the arm of the couch, hair all swept over one shoulder, looking up at Spencer who’s still standing.

“She’s really nice. You’ve got good taste in friends, Han.”

“Yeah, glad you guys finally got to meet,” she says. “Spencer actually just moved into a place like...five minutes away, so I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of her.”

Emily and Spencer stay glued to each other most of the night, because Hanna is a genius and no one should ever doubt her.

When they do finally peel apart, Hanna sidles up next to Emily, slinging an arm over her shoulder and pressing a dry kiss to Emily’s cheek.

“You know,” she sing-songs to Emily, but like...quietly, so no one else hears. “She’s single.”

Emily rolls her eyes, leaning into Hanna’s side. “She’s hot,” she admits, and Hanna feels like a million bucks, “but I’m seeing someone.”

And now she feels bankrupt.

“What?” Hanna pulls away abruptly. “No you’re not! Since when?”

Emily shrugs. “Few weeks?”

“And you didn’t say anything? What the hell, Em?”

Emily laughs, which Hanna does not appreciate because this is not funny. “We were taking things slow, you goofball, it wasn’t personal or anything.”

Hanna narrows her eyes. It’s deeply personal, actually, but before she can point that out, Spencer is back and handing Emily a cup of...whiskey?

“Where did you find that?” Hanna asked. She knows she didn’t buy any whiskey for the party. So what the hell? Also - Spencer is already getting Emily drinks?

“Oh, Caleb pointed me to it,” Spencer muses.

“Sorry,” Emily says. “The sangria was a little sweet for me.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Spencer mutters. “I think I have a cavity.”

Emily laughs, light and warm, and Hanna catches the way Spencer smiles into her glass.

She. is. So. Right.

It’s just that Emily is so not single.

--

The party goes late, but Aria, Emily and Spencer are the last ones to leave. They, god bless them, actually help Hanna and Caleb clean up.

Hanna’s more than a little wine drunk, and throws plastic cups in a trash bag declaring, “I’m never doing this again. Parties are too much work.”

The others roll their eyes, but she catches the way Spencer leans into Emily to whisper something in her ear, the way Emily bites her lip to try and stifle her laugh. Hanna’s like...99% sure they’re laughing at her but she pretends not to notice.

She’s being nice. She’s letting them have their moment.

Spencer’s the last one to go and Hanna gives her a tight hug.

“I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so glad you’re close,” she says.

“Same,” Spencer replies.

“They’re good, right?” Hanna asks when she pulls away. “Aria and Emily. I was in good hands while you were at Stanford.”

Spencer rolls her eyes, but she smiles. “I already knew that before I even met them. But yes,” she says, “they’re great.”

Hanna nods sagely. “Emily’s really something, isn’t she?”

Spencer hesitates, but after a moment she shrugs. “Yeah. She is. They’re both something.”

Hanna will take that, she supposes. There’s not much she can go with it right now anyway. She feels two hands come up around her, grasping her arms, and she leans back against Caleb. He presses a kiss to her temple.

“Say goodnight Spence,” he says.

“Goodnight Spence.”

Spencer laughs, and Caleb lets go Hanna long enough to get the door for Spencer. “Text us when you’re home,” he says.

“Will do.”

The door closes behind her, and Caleb wraps a blanket around Hanna’s shoulders, pulling her to bed.

--

Her drunk declaration to not throw another party lasts...oh, two months.

Thanksgiving is coming up and now that all of her friends live within driving distance she is going to have Friendsgiving, damnit.

Besides, she happens to know that Emily and Paige split up about a month ago and she figures that’s more than enough time for Emily to be ready to date again.

To date Spencer, specifically.

“Is it better to have them sit next to each other?” Hanna asks as she draws up the millionth version of a seating chart. “Or is across from each other more romantic?”

Caleb looks up from where he’s googling turkey recipes. “Uhhh, who are we talking about?”

She rolls her eyes and snaps her fingers. “Emily and Spencer! Get with the program.”

“This again?”

“Yes! I want to go to their wedding in two years. We’ve got to get a move on!” she says.

Caleb just laughs and goes back to searching. Hanna goes back to, fruitlessly, arranging their friend around their table.

Then, after about five minutes of silence Caleb says, “across from each other. They can look at each other that way. And play footsies or whatever.”

Hanna gets up from her seat, drapes her arms over Caleb and steals a kiss. “Love you,” she says.

He hums, leaning back against her.

She still can’t believe he just said ‘footsies’.

--

Honestly, Hanna could’ve been a party planner if she wanted to. Her eye for detail? Incredible. She has the table set with the usual plates and napkins and such, yes, but she’s made a centerpiece of fall leaves and tiny pumpkins, and there’s a soft glow from the candles that is warm and comforting, but will also leave them all awash in candlelight.

A perfect table for falling in love.

The week leading up to Friendsgiving Hanna called and texted Spencer left a few strong - but subtle! - hints on what to wear.

Hanna almost keels over when Spencer actually shows up in the dress she’d hoped.

It’s a deep maroon dress, which makes Spencer’s eyes pop, and while it’s tasteful, it’s also short enough to show off Spencer’s amazing legs. Spencer also took the time to curl her damn hair and Hanna might legitimately cry.

“Oh my god,” Hanna says. “You look amazing! You put in, like, effort!”

Spencer grunts. “Excuse you!”

Hanan waves a hand. “Sorry, sorry, you know what I meant.”

Spencer grins, pulling Hanna into a hug. “Yeah, yeah I know. I brought wine, by the way.”

Hanna takes the bottles from Spencer and puts them with the rest of the alcohol. Aria’s already there, and she’s dating some guy who’s talking to Caleb on the couch (honestly at this point Hanna only half-bothers to learn the names of Aria’s dates) and Mona couldn’t come, which all told is probably a good thing.

It’ll be a quiet, intimate dinner, and Hanna’s fine with that.

A moment later there’s a knock at the door, and Emily is coming through balancing two different pies. Hanna’s about to go grab one when Spencer swoops in from out of nowhere, relieving Emily of one dish and Hanna can’t help but feel smug.

The feeling increases tenfold when she watches Emily’s eyes trail up Spencer’s legs, taking their time before meeting her gaze.

“Thanks,” she says breathily.

Hanna looks at Caleb, but he’s not paying attention. She’s the only one seeing this right now.

Spencer and Emily set the pies down on the kitchen island and then, Hanna thinks she needs to hold something for support, Spencer is helping Emily out of her coat.

She is a matchmaking god and she is invincible. Fear her.

“Happy Friendsgiving!” Emily says, giving Hanna a big hug. “The turkey smells amazing!”

Hanna laughs. “Please, we both know that’s all Caleb. I didn’t even know how to turn the oven on this morning.”

“She’s only half-kidding!” Caleb calls from the couch.

Emily leans into Spencer then and stage-whispers, “thank god I was in charge of the pies, then.”

Spencer smirks (smirks!) and Hanna looks at Caleb, raising her eyebrows to ask if he’s seeing this. He just shrugs and turns back to what’s-his-name.

“Rude, all of you,” Hanna says. “Now, the alcohol is over there, feel free to help yourself!”

“Okay,” Emily. She turns to Spencer, cupping her elbow gently. “What’s your poison?”

“Surprise me,” Spencer says, and Emily crosses the room to get them both drinks.

These two. Hanna is honest-to-god going to scream. It’s like she doesn’t even have to try. They’re practically already dating.

--

Okay so Caleb is right.

About a few things.

One, yeah maybe Hanna didn’t know how to work the oven but in her defense it’s a new oven and she hasn’t gotten used to it! Sue her!

Two, putting Emily and Spencer across from each other was truly a stroke of genius.

They talk almost the whole night, and their positioning means they basically have to stare at each other, and Hanna strategically placed candles so they’re both bathed in soft light, and they look great, and seriously. Two years. Wedding. Hanna is counting on it.

It’s Caleb’s turn to say what he’s thankful for this year and he just slings his arm over the back of Hanna’s chair and when she tears her gaze away from her friends to look at him, the look in his eyes...shit, it kind of takes the air out of her.

“I think it’s pretty obvious,” he says, and reaches up one finger to graze Hanna’s cheek. “Grateful for this one, every day.”

Hanna melts.

She mumbles something equally corny and hopes he knows she means it from the bottom of her heart.

Then it’s Spencer’s turn. She rakes a hand through her hair and looks around the table. “I’m thankful for everyone at this table…” she trails off. They know she doesn’t mean Aria’s boyfriend. It’s fine. “For helping me make a home so quickly. I think I would’ve been drowning without you.”

Everyone’s saying awwww, and laughing, and Hanna doesn’t miss the shy smile Emily casts towards Spencer.

Yeah. It’s a good night.

--

Aria takes a few pictures of them at the table after dinner, and then finally (finally!) it’s time for pie.

Emily made two. Pumpkin and chocolate pecan. They are both, predictably, amazing, and Hanna is in heaven.

So is Spencer, apparently, because she makes this little moan when she bites into the chocolate pecan one and Emily’s gaze snaps up to hers so fast that Hanna swears she’s going to pull something in her neck.

Hanna has half a mind to call Spencer out on it but then Caleb is offering her a shot of whipped cream and yeah, Hanna gets distracted.

The next time Hanna looks over, Spencer is staring downwards, into her lap, her face illuminated by the blue light of her phone screen.

Hanna doesn’t mind...but then it’s been like three minutes and Spencer still hasn’t looked up and. Um. Rude much?

“Yo, Spence,” Hanna snaps. “Wanna join us or what?”

Spencer looks up, and at least has the decency to look embarrassed as she puts her phone away. “Sorry. Just texting someone.”

Hanna’s about to let it go but Aria is grinning now. “Oooh, who’s the lucky person?”

Spencer grins into her wine glass. “Alex.”

Aria like, legit squeals and leans forward in her seat. “The tennis instructor? Spencer, no!”

Spencer laughs, and it’s ice water down Hanna’s back.

No no no no no.

This cannot be happening. Not again.

She shoots a glance at Emily and notices...nothing. She looks. Fine. Okay, so maybe she pulls back a little so she’s not leaning over the table towards Spencer as much but she seems. Okay. Too okay.

“A tennis coach?” Hanna scoffs. “Pretentious.”

“Hanna!” Aria scolds.

Hanna shrugs. She’s not pouting. She’s not.

--

Everyone’s gone, and Hanna’s sitting on the couch, with pie, and a shot glass of tequila, and she is, now, definitely pouting. Caleb puts the last of the leftovers away and drops down on the couch next to her. He nudges her knee.

“Hey. Tonight was great.”

She nods. “It was really special,” she says.

“So why are you,” he gestures to her, “moping?”

She shows him her phone. Aria’s already sent over some of the pictures she took. There’s one from early in the evening and Emily and Spencer are standing all close to fit in the shot and the light is bouncing off of them softly and their smiles are so real and candid it makes Hanna’s heart swell. These are her friends and she wants them to be happy.

She’s sure this is the best way to make them really, really happy.

Caleb laughs and kisses her forehead. “This again? You did hear Spencer say she’s seeing some tennis coach, right?”

Hanna whines. “But you saw them, they were like...glued to each other all night.”

“Right,” Caleb says. “And that had nothing to do with the fact that you strategically placed them next to each other or anything.”

“They were flirting,” Hanna says. “They have the chemistry! Why do they have such shitty timing!”

Caleb reaches over and grabs her hand, playing with her fingers. “We had shitty timing there for a while,” he says quietly. “We worked out okay.”

Hanna sniffles, and she’s not crying! She’s not. But she leans into Caleb, pressing her face against his shirt sleeve. It smells nice. It smells like him.

“I really thought it was gonna be them.”

Caleb rubs her arm. “I know, babe.”

--

There are a few casual get togethers after that. Game night. A girls’ brunch. Nothing serious, just short little moments.

--

And then.

New Year’s Eve.

--

Hanna had to throw a party. Obviously.

She and Caleb have roof access at their new place and they’ll be able to see the fireworks and everything.

She goes, maybe, a little bit overboard with the guest list.

So what if their apartment currently has twenty seven people in it. It’s fine! Totally fine!

She pushes past the throng of people to go get herself another drink, and she runs into Aria and whatever her new-new boyfriend’s name is.

“Hey!” Hanna says over the music. “Need a refill?”

“Please!” Aria says, and grabs Hanna’s hand so they can make it to the kitchen area in one piece.

They make it and Hanna starts rummaging for a can of coke. She knows Aria’s been sipping on rum and cokes all night and hid a few cans so no one else would take them.

“It’s sweet they get along so well,” Aria says.

“Hmm?” Hanna asks as she cracks open the soda. Aria just nods her head and Hanna follows.

She’s nodding at Emily and Spencer who are standing at the other end of the kitchen, standing a literal four inches apart, and Spencer is...fuck, Spencer is pouring them both tequila shots. Tonight’s getting messy.

“Yeah,” Hanna says noncommittally. She pours the coke into a glass, followed by the rum, and hands it to Aria.

“Thanks,” Aria says, and then she’s gone in a poof.

Hanna’s like. Over it. Really. Over her master plan of getting two of her best friends to get married. But she still sneaks a look over at Spencer and Emily anyway. Mostly because she hasn’t seen either drink tequila in years and expects it to be hilarious.

She does not expect to see Emily standing there with a fucking lime wedge in her mouth. She doesn’t expect to see Spencer, with tequila in hand, fucking lick the nape of Emily’s neck, and then sprinkle salt there. She really, really doesn’t expect to see Spencer lick the salt off from Emily’s skin, take the shot and then angle her mouth against Emily’s to gracefully transfer the lime to her own lips, throwing her head back in triumph, leaving Emily’s face a little flushed.

They’re doing motherfucking body shots. In Hanna’s kitchen. In front of literally everyone. And yet literally everyone doesn’t notice.

Hanna almost spills her wine.

Emily is staring at Spencer with dark eyes and Spencer drops the lime wedge from her mouth, haphazardly tossing it in the sink and she says something lowly that Hanna can’t hear but can definitely read lips well enough to know she said, “you taste really good.”

What. the. Fuck.

Spencer runs her tongue over her lips  and it all clicks. It absolutely all clicks. The casualness of it all. The way they’re standing there, doing this, looking utterly unhurried by it all, with this weird tension sitting between them, like they’re playing double dutch with a line they’ve definitely jumped over before.

They fucked.

They definitely, absolutely fucked.

Hanna doesn’t know when. She doesn’t know where. She doesn’t need or really want to know, to be honest. But she would bet good money that Spencer and Emily have slept together.

It’s almost like vindication.

Almost.

She hightails it out of the kitchen, without her wine, and finds Caleb and yanks on his arm, dragging him to a spot where he can see Spencer and Emily but without being like, obvious about it.

“Do you see?” she hisses.

Caleb laughs. “See what?”

Hanna rolls her eyes. “Look at them.”

Caleb finds what she’s talking about. “Oh man, Emily and tequila. Tonight’s gonna be interesting.”

“Not that!” Hanna says, swatting his arm. “Well, kind of that. Spencer just took a body shot off of Emily. In our goddamn kitchen!”

Caleb laughs. “What? No way. How much gin did you give her earlier?”

“Caleb! This is serious! They’ve slept together!”

Caleb looks at her, and then at Spencer and Emily, and then back at Hanna.

“Han…”

She stomps her foot. “A body shot, Caleb. Come on.”

Caleb just shakes his head. “Look, I know what you want it to mean...but come on. It’s New Year’s, and this place is crazy. They’re probably just having fun.”

Hanna rolls her eyes. “Well, yeah. Sex is fun.”

Caleb like. Giggles then. Actually giggles, which is cute. Then he just shakes his head, again, and kisses Hanna’s forehead. “Babe, they’re just being festive. I’m gonna go get another beer.”

Hanna sticks her tongue out at him as he walks away. If he won’t believe her, maybe Aria will.

She finds Aria talking to...whoever she’s dating, and shoos him away. Politely. Kind of.

“Okay, question. Doing a body shot off of someone. Sexy?” Hanna asks.

Aria shrugs. “If it’s done well.”

“Okay. New question. If Spencer just took a body shot off of Emily, are they fucking?”

Aria nearly chokes on her drink. “What?”

“Answer the question, Montgomery.”

Aria cranes her neck to find Spencer and Emily. They’re still like, distressingly close to one another, and their eyes are all dark and Spencer looks like she’s about to undress Emily right there, but Aria just shrugs.

“You know, I don’t really know Spencer well enough to say.”

Hanna’s patience is so far gone it’s not even funny.

“But you know Emily well enough!”

Aria pauses, and looks at them again. “I don’t know, Han. Emily’s probably just drunk. You know how she gets.”

Hanna is going to scream.

Spencer and Emily either have fucked, or are fucking, and no one but her knows. She feels like she’s going to go insane.

--

At 11:55, half of the party is inside, watching the tv, and the other half is upstairs, on the roof, waiting for the fireworks to start, listening to the countdown on an old radio that Caleb dug up.

They’re passing out flutes of champagne, but Hanna just has a whole bottle in her hands that she’s going to uncork right when midnight hits.

She’s mellowed out throughout the evening, thanks to some choice drinks and Caleb’s hands on her waist.

11:57, and Aria slides up next to her. Caleb is behind her, arms around her. Aria is to her left, and Spencer and Emily are to her right.

It’s the perfect way to end one year and begin another. Surrounded by the people she loves most in this world.

11:59, and the countdown starts. She can’t wait to pop this champagne. She can’t wait to kiss Caleb...she can’t wait to kick everyone out of her apartment and get some sleep.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Hanna feels Caleb trying to spin her around but she’s focused, okay? She twists the cork off the champagne, and she just shook it so it shoots into the sky, and fireworks are going off and she starts spraying everyone with the champagne.

The roof is a cacophony of cheers and fireworks and squeals and Hanna is blissed out beyond belief. Caleb finally turns her around, smiles down at her, and thumbs her wet hair from her face. She stands on her tiptoes and kisses him, licks the champagne from his lips and hopes this year is as good as the last one.

When she breaks off the kiss and sees everyone’s smiles - when she sees the look on Emily’s face as she stares at Spencer…

Well. Hanna’s pretty sure this year will be even better.

[lovinitkpop]

영구 -Everlasting

So this is yet another EXO story but it’s the squeal to It Will Rain story. If you have not read it just click the link to the story. But yes I loved this one so much I making a squeal to it. I hope you like it just like you liked the first one.

Rated: ?

Paring: You x Xiumin

Warning: All of them

Word Count: 5706

Chapter 1

It’s been four years since you and Minseok got married. Y/D/N is now five years old and now you have a three year old baby boy. A lot has happen since you two have gotten married. Even though you turned down your sister in law dads’ offer he still lets you record and release music.

Y/D/N does a few commercials and videos appearance here and there. But all in all everything was going great. And now you were on your way back to Seoul after spending time with your family in the states.

“So you are coming back next week right?” Xiumin whines on the other end of the call and you giggle just picturing the pout on his lips. You reach over grabbing the kids hand games for them to play.

“Yes next week you don’t have much longer.” You smile to yourself trying not to laugh. Before you left you told him your schedule and when you would be back. But luckily for you finished everything and could come back early. “I promise you will be okay.”

“But I really miss you.” Xiumin sighs and you pout shaking your head. “Let me hear their voices.” His voice perks up just thinking about the kids and you giggle looking at them.

“Okay hold on.” You mute the call looking at your daughter. “Daddy wants to talk to you but don’t tell him where we are okay.” You daughter nods holding out her little hands for the phone and you unmute it handing it to her.

“Hi daddy what are you doing?” She smiles holding the phone up to her ear. You smile looking down at her moving hair from her face. “Yeah I'm having fun we went to both Disney in Florida and California.”

You look over at your son seeing him fall asleep and you pick him up putting him on your lap. He yawns resting his head on your chest closing his eyes. “No brother is sleeping on mommy lap we had lots of fun today too.”

You watch her talk on the phone for an hour to Xiumin and you just sigh smiling. Those two were so alike in many ways it was crazy. Were as your son was like you most of the time but you love them both the same.

“Here daddy says he has to get ready for the concert.” Y/D/N hands you back the phone and you look at it then put it to your ear hearing noise is the back. You sigh shaking your head waiting.

“Okay I’m coming now, hey bye Y/N love you.” Xiumin says and you reply with a quick love you and bye before he ends the call. You put your phone up then reach over grabbing a blanket from your bag covering your son up.

“Are you not sleepy?” You asks looking at your daughter handing her blanket to her. She shakes her head yawning and you leave the cover over her. “Okay then keep playing your game.” She nods looking down at her game.

After another hour your daughter was out cold sleeping. You take the game turning it off and replace it with her plushie and she grabs it hugging it close. You take your phone out snapping a quick picture of her and your son. After another hour or so on the flight you finally land in Seoul.

“Wake up sleepy head.” You reach over pulling the blanket off your daughter and she whines rubbing her eye. You smile kissing the top of her head and she looks up at you. “We made it back home.”

You carry your son in your arms while your daughter holds your hand. You all make your way to get your luggage when Y/D/N let’s go of your hand running off. “Uncle!” She yells running over to your brother and you sigh in relief.

“Hey kiddo you know not to run away from mommy like that.” Sungjae picks her up and walks back over to you. “Hey sis good to see you again now let’s go.” He smiles helping you with the luggage.

“Good to see you too.” You say grabbing a bag and follow him to the van. Once you get home you give the kids a bath before the concert. “So you’re giving you daughter a princess cruise party?” You look over at your brother who fights to put Y/S/N clothes on him.

“It was my wife’s idea okay.” He finally gets his clothes on and you just laugh watching him. You look back at your daughter as you finish her hair. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“I’ll think about it but they can go.” You say nodding your head then grab you bag and keys. “Are you riding with us or is your wife picking you up?” You pick up your son and follow Y/D/N downstairs to the front door.

“She’s outside waiting right now.” He nods his head to the door and you look at him and smile. “See you there I guess.” He waves bye and you walk over to your car putting the kids in their car seats.

You starting the car and pull out onto the street and head towards the venue. You look at the time and smile knowing you only missed a few songs. You look back at your kids seeing them dance and sing to the music.

“Who’s ready to see daddy?” You say and they both scream smiling and you just laugh. “Good then let’s go.” You make a few turns after reaching the venue and head to the back parking lot. After turning the car off you get out and you can hear the fans screaming.

You stand there putting the passes around the kids and your neck. Next you place the headphones on their heads before unbuckling them. You pick up Y/S/N holding him then you take Y/D/N hand and she jumps out the car and you lock it.

As you make your way to the door security smiles bowing to you and walks you inside. They lead you to the side stage so you are out of view. You sit there watching them jump and dance around watching their father.

You take out your phone and record them laughing. You save the video smiling at them. “Make sure you watch your brother.” You say looking at your daughter and she nods standing next to him. As the show goes on you look out at the stage smiling. Time to time you check to see where the kids were.

You laugh watching the boys get into one of their water fights. They all run around the stage throwing water at each other and the fans just scream and laugh. “I wanna go see daddy.” Y/S/N says trying to pull free of his sister grip causing them both to fall. He then walks off heading into the stage.

Halfway through the last song you grab your bag to head back to the dressing room when you look over to the kids but only see one. “Y/D/N where’s your brother?” You look around calling his name your daughter looks out in stage seeing him.

“Mommy he’s out there.” She says smiling pointing at her brother. “Next to Kai and Chanyeol oppa.” She runs out going over to them you try and grab her but it’s too late. She runs over jumping up into Kai arms smiling.

“Aww they’re so cute.” The staff laughs watching them and you just sigh rubbing your face. They look over at you smiling and you just bowing apologizing. “They must have really missed their father.” You nod looking back at them then out at the stage.

Xiumin walks over picking up his son then looks back to the side stage seeing you standing there. You look at the staff and they hand you a headset. “I’m sorry they weren’t supposed to go out there.” The boys laugh looking at each other as they head to the center of the stage.

“Daddy surprise!” Your daughter yells holding her hands up seeing Xiumin and just laughs poking her tummy. “We came back early.” She leans over climbing onto his back.

“Well it looks like we have some new members.” Baekhyun says looking over at Xiumin who just stands there smiling. “Aren’t they so cute?” He smiles poking Y/D/N and she laugh smiling.

“Yes they are very cute.” Suho smiles watching them as they dance around Xiumin. The boys look at each other nodding hearing the staff. You look over at the staff shaking your head.

The boys keep talking about today show and how much fun they had. “Come on they release the song in like two hours just go out there and sing with them.” The staff manager says giving you a headset and mic.

You look at your outfit sighing glad you picked out something good. You take the microphone holding it in your hand then look out at the boys. The staff leads you under the stage and you stand on the platform waiting.

“Well we have one more song before we go.” Suho says the ending words before the song starts. “We are One EXO!” They all yell and the beat starts and Chanyeol smirks as he starts jumping up and down getting the fans hype.

Sehun follows his lead and the fans start screaming louder. The others move to the beat when all of sudden the platform springs up and you go flying into the air. You do a flip landing on your feet as you start off the song.

The staff all nod watching you and you just smile watching the boys. You walk over seeing your son walking around and kneel down smiling. He looks behind you then takes off running and you just laugh standing up.

Xiumin walks up behind you grabbing you and you covering your mouth as you scream. He laughs spinning you around before putting you down. You watch as he runs off and you keep singing as Chen hands you a bottle of water and you bow your head smiling.

Chen takes off after Xiumin and you follow him smiling. Xiumin stops waving to the fans as he sings. They all scream reaching out to him and he smiles. You and Chen nod pouring the water over him the run off.

Your daughter laughs watching you run by and she walks over to Chanyeol who picks her putting her on his back. She smiles holding on to his shirt laughing. As you slow down Baekhyun and Sehun corner you smiling.

You shake your head looking at them and they both nod. You smirk as you start to do Sehun rap and he smirks pouring the water on you and Baekhyun follows then runs off. You take off after them holding your bottle in your hand.

At the end of the song you were all pretty much all wet head to toe. Your son reaches over for you and you take him from Lay holding him. You all bow saying bye then head backstage. You pull the headphones off your kids head and they run around the room playing.

“You weren't supposed to be here till next week.” Chanyeol says hugging you and you smile looking up at him. He smiles back then walks over grabbing at towel wiping his face.

Xiumin grabs you from behind and you scream covering your face. The boys laugh at you then start changing. “You said next week what are you doing here?” He hugs you from behind kissing your cheek.

“Well I finish early so we came back early.” You pull free from his hug then walk over to your bag. “When you called we were really on the plane back.”  You reach in and grab your phone texting your brother.

“I see you’re still evil like your sister?” Chanyeol pulls his shirt over his head looking at you and you smirk rolling your eyes. You reach over grabbing a pillow throwing it at him.

“First off she got it from me, but when you’re as cute as me you can be evil.” You smile taking his picture and he rolls his eyes. Xiumin shakes his head watching you.

“Let’s not be like mommy okay, use your cuteness for good not evil.” Xiumin says looking at the kids kneeling in front of them. They both nod smiling and he smiles back hugging them. “I missed you guys.”

“Pup monkey good to see you.” Sungjae says walking into the room smiling. Chanyeol looks over at the door sighing. Sungjae bows to everyone smiling then looks at you. “You.”

“Hey I didn’t think they would run out there.” You fold your arms looking at him and he sighs. “The staff didn’t mind too much most of them just laughed.” You smiles using your aegyo on him and he just sighs looking away.

“So what are you guys doing now that you are back?” Lay asks as he finishes changing then looks over at you. You look back over at him and shrug. “Why don’t we all go out to eat?”

“Sounds good to me.” Chen agrees with him as he dries his hair. The others nod agreeing and you look at Xiumin who starts changing then at the kids. “What do you say little ones want to go out to eat?”

“Can I sit next to Kai oppa and Baekhyun oppa?” Y/D/N asks looking at you and you just stand there watching them. Sehun walks over and picks her up looking at her.

“I thought I was your favorite?” Sehun asks pouting and she looks at him a small smirk on her lips shaking her head. “Yes I am you said so.”

“No I’m her favorite and she’s sitting by me.” Baekhyun folds his arms looking at Sehun then you look at your daughter trying not to laugh. The other boys start yelling about who her favorite is and she jumps out of Sehun hands walking over to you.

Chanyeol stands next to you covering his mouth laughing watching them. “Guys!” He yells and they all look at him then at you and your daughter. “She’s already start doing it, cuteness equal evil.” He says waving his hand over to your daughter then you.

You start giggling cover your mouth kneeling down to look at your daughter. “Go say you’re sorry silly.” She laughs and nods hoping over to them standing in the middle of them.

She looks up at them using her cute baby face look putting her hands behind her back. “I’m sorry oppa you are all my favorites.” She tilts her head watching them. “But I want to sit by Kai oppa and Sehun oppa.” She smile grabbing their hands.

“Yes I knew I was her favorite ha.” Sehun smiles looking at Baekhyun who just rolls his eyes. He picks her up hugging her. “I’m everyone’s favorite.” He nods closing his eyes.

“I wanna sit by daddy.” Y/S/N says as Xiumin picks him up nodding. You son smiles hugging him and you just smirk. You grab you bag taking your keys out then walk over to the door.

“Come let’s go I need to get my clothes out the car.” You grab your son then look at your daughter who runs over holding onto your leg. “I’ll be in the car, next time leave me out of the water fight.”

“Not going to happen.” Baekhyun says watching you leave and you just smirk closing the door behind you. Your brother follows you outside and you give him the keys.

“Just stand there so I can change okay.” You climb into the back and start to change. You sigh in relief happy that you darken your windows. After a quick change you hop out and brush out your hair shaking your head. “Well half my hair is still wet but it doesn’t matter.”

“And there’s my wife let’s get the crazy ones in their seat.” Sungjae says walking back over with your kids. Xiumin runs over carrying his bag and you laugh seeing his hair. Sungjae looks back at him and nods.

“Thanks Sungjae.” Xiumin says as he hands your son to him and Sungjae nods. Xiumin leans over putting your son in his seat strapping him in. You look over as you buckle your daughter in and he smirks. “Do you want me to drive?”

You close the door after buckling her in then walk around grabbing your bag. Xiumin looks over still seeing fans outside. Chanyeol slowly pulls in front of you and rolls his window down. “Hey sis when did you get back?” You look over seeing your sister and laugh shaking your head.

“Are you ready?” Chanyeol asks and you nod then point to your brother car. “Yeah I texted him telling them where to go.” He says nodding and you hand the keys to Xiumin.

Xiumin looks at the keys and shakes his head as you walk around getting into the car. “Okay then let’s go.” Xiumin opens the door climbing into the car and starting it up. Chanyeol nods rolling up his window and drives off.

You all follow behind him heading to the restaurant to eat. “So how exactly did you handle a year and half without us.” You asks looking at Xiumin then back at your phone. “I mean you texted and called me all day and night.”

“I didn’t text you that much, and I called you may be like twice a day.” Xiumin looks over at you and you hold up your phone showing him your call list. “Okay so it was more than twice.”

“You worry too much, they did just fine with daycare and everything.” You look through you photos smiling. “They now speak English and Korean.” You look up at him as he parks then look back the kids.

You get out and take them out the car and your daughter runs over to Kai and Sehun. Xiumin holds you son hand letting him walk and holds your hand with the other. When you get in they put tables together for you all to sit.

Once everyone sits you all order your food and wait. “Okay let me see the video.” Jiwoo looks over at you looking at your phone. You pull the video up turning the phone to the side letting it play. “Aw that’s so cute he saying his alphabet, his English is way better.”

“What’s that?” D.O asks looking over at you and you look up hearing him. You hold up your phone towards him and he takes it.

“Y/D/N helping Y/S/N with his English.” You take a bite of your food watching them. You look over at your daughter seeing Kai feed her some meat. “They both did pretty well in daycare and homeschooling.”

“Wow and he’s only three.” Suho looks over at the video and nods. You smile looking down at your son as Xiumin gives him some food. “What else did you guys do over there?” He looks over at you.

“Travel a lot Florida, California, Texas, Louisiana, and New York.” You grab your drink taking a sip. “Filming, playing and working.” You look back as D.O hands you your phone and you nod.

“Did you get any sleep at all?” Sungjae asks looking over at you and you shake your head smiling. “So weird, you need sleep.” He says watching you and you just shrug.

After everyone finish eating you all get up and pay for the food and leave. You walk over putting the kids into the car. Xiumin helps you and look over seeing them yawn. You smile reaching into their bag grabbing their covers.

“Really you carry that with you?” Xiumin asks and you nod covering them up and he watches then gets in the car. He starts it up as you get in and you look back at them.

“They don’t sleep without them.” You says pointing to them and he looks back at them smiling. He kisses your cheek then pull onto the street heading home. Once you get home you get the kids ready for bed.

“So did you miss me at all?” Xiumin asks handing Y/S/N his plushie then covers him up. He looks down at him kissing his forehead. He walks over kissing Y/D/N forehead then turns on the TV for background noise. “Come on so you didn’t miss me?”

“I never said that.” You turn the sound down a little then turn off the light walking out the room. Xiumin follows you leaving the door open a little bit. You walk into your room and pull your shirt off putting it with the other dirty clothes.

Xiumin grabs you from behind and kisses your neck biting you. You moan covering your mouth as you step out of his arms. You turn looking at him and he smiles closing the door then heads over to the bathroom.

“I’m taking a shower.” He smiles evilly grabbing his towel. You sigh as you finish changing into your pajamas. He whistle closing the door and you roll your eyes shaking your head.

You get into bed getting under the covers looking at your phone. Xiumin walks out the bathroom with his towel wrapped around his waist and you look over at him. He walks over putting on his boxer then shorts.

“Took you long enough.” You look back down at your phone. He smirks climbing into bed next to you. He takes your phone putting it up as he climbs on top of you. You look up at him smiling and he leans closer kissing you.

“And to answer your question.” You smile looking up at him. “Yes I did miss you, and sending me pictures did not help.” You pout laying there and he smile kissing your nose. Xiumin smirks rubbing your thigh.

“Want to make sure you didn’t forget about me.” He leans down kissing your neck and you smirk tilting your head. “It worked didn’t it?” He kisses along your neck and you laugh a little.

“One that tickles and two I had two mini version of you trust me I wouldn’t been able to forget.” You wrap your arms around him pulling him closer as you capture his lips with yours. Xiumin runs his hands up your thighs then grips your hips.

He reaches up and grabs the waistband of your shorts pulling them down. You lift your hips letting him pull them off. He then reaches up pulling your shirt over your head as he kisses along your neck and shoulder.

You moan out his name as he sinks his teeth into your skin. “You have to be quite or you’ll wake the kids.” He reaches down grabbing you breast and squeezes it as he bites your ear. You grip his hair pressing your lips against his.

He lowers his hand sliding in over the thin fabric of your panties. You whine feeling him glide his finger over your folds. He smirks slightly pressing his finger against your folds. “This is how we ended up with Y/S/N; all your teasing and taking it slow.” You look up at him and he smiles running his finger against your clit.

Not that you mind when he did things slow. You enjoyed when you made love instead of quick hot sex. The bad thing you would say was that he knew every part of you and your hidden spots. He knows what drives you crazy and what makes you beg and cry out not that that was a bad thing.

You jerk your hips trying to get more friction. He smiles kissing down your chest to your stomach. “You say it like it’s a bad thing” He says between kisses looking up at you his eyes filled with lust. But he had more control than you sometimes and it seem like one of nights.

He runs his tongue over the fabric and you throw your head back moaning his name. He smiles seeing how wet you were licking his lips. You look back at him watching as he leans down biting on the edge of panties pulling them down with his teeth.

You shamelessly spread your legs apart biting your finger looking at him. He tilts his head watching then leans forward licking a long stride up your folds. You close your eyes moaning again. He groans hearing you and the vibrations from him sends a shiver up your spine.

You run your fingers through his hair gripping some as you grind your hips against his mouth. You let your head fall back as you moan. He reach up pressing his thumb against your clit.

You squirm underneath him but he pulls your hips back. “Be quite or I’ll stop.” He growled looking up at you his eyes dark and a smirk on his face. You look down at him seeing his face being more aroused and you just nod.

As he leans down he grips your thigh his fingers digging into your skin. You bite you lips looking at him seeing how the moonlight cast shadows on him showing all his muscles. As he presses his tongue past your folds you grip the sheets trying not to moan.

He moans tasting your juices on his tongue and you grind against his face. He bites the inside of your thigh making you stop. You groan feeling yourself on the edge and about to lose control. He looks up at you as he start to suck on your clit and you look at him stuck in a trance.

You watch as he releases your clit replacing his mouth with his thumb. He pinches it between his fingers as he sucks on your folds licking them. You close your eyes your whole body shaking as you hit your high.

Xiumin smiles licking up all your juices he then climbs back up your body. You look up at him and he smiles leaning in and kisses you. You moan tasting yourself on lips as you come off your high. He smiles and kisses alongside of your neck.

You look down seeing his bugle and whine. He watches you tilting his head then you push him onto his back. “You have got to stop that.” You sit on top running your fingers down his chest.

“Stop what exactly?” He smiles watching you trying to play coy. You smirk watching as you roll your hips grinding against him. He closes his eyes biting his lip and you lean down kissing his neck.

He moans gripping your waist as you grind against him. “Fine if you want to play like you don’t know what I’m talking about.” You say in between kissing and biting his neck. “Let’s see how long you can last.” You bite his ear then look him in the eyes as you move down his body.

Once you reach his boxers you look up at him with a smile as you press your tongue against the fabric. “Fuck…” He lets out a shaky breathe watching you. You move your tongue around making a small wet spot on his boxers.

You look back down seeing the spot get bigger and you knew his tip was covered in precum. You slowly pull down his boxers slowly running your finger against his member.  You smile as it springs up all nice big leaking precum.

He watches you carefully trying to figure out what you are going to do. You stick your finger in your mouth sucking on it before popping it out and rubbing it against his tip. Xiumin groans trying to main control. You spread the precum around then bringing your hand to your mouth you lick it then wrap it around his base.

You slowly start pumping him as you watch him lay there. “Wow you’re really trying to keep control.” You look back at him as you change the pace of your hand going a little faster. You bend down running your tongue across the head of his member.

Xiumin throws his head back out of frustration. “Why are you like this?” He moans running his hand through his hair. You smile knowing he can take much more but you choose to keep teasing him. You take the head of his mouth into your mouth lightly sucking.

He reaches down grabbing a fist full of hair. “Now now you have to be patient.” You look up at him and he groans rolling his eyes. You smile laughing a little before taking him in your mouth again. You pull back only to slowly lick him from the base up.

His grips tightens as his leg shake slightly. You then look him in the eyes as you take him into your mouth letting your head sink down before coming back up. You relax your jaw as you sink back down then hallow cheeks coming back up. Never breaking eye contact he moans out watching you.

You pull away watching him and he sighs. “If you’re too loud I’ll have to stop.” You smile licking your lips. He growls looking at you and you squeeze his member and he stop eyes wide. “Mmm good boy.” You loosen your grip taking him back in your mouth.

You moan as he pulls your hair pushing you head down further. You look at him taking in every face he makes, every muscle that flexes and every moan that leaves his mouth. Only you get to see these face and hear these sounds.

He thrust his hips up and you moan as he hits the back of your throat. He breath hitches in his throat and from the way you feel his legs shaking you know he’s close. You look back at his face letting your jaw relax letting him hit the back of your throat again.

As you do he tries and thrust again but you dig your nails into his skin causing him to moan. He stops moving watching you as you work. As you run your tongue against his length you feel his fingers flex in your hair as his release into your mouth.

Xiumin closes his eyes laying back and you watch him as you catch every drop. You slowly pull away trying to suck every last drop. “Fuck y/n….sto…ah shit…” He tries pushing you away trying to stop you. You smile sitting back up watching him.

You crawl back up sitting on him watching as he tries to slow his breathing. You lean down kissing him and he grips your waist flipping you over so you’re under him. “You are so lucky right now.” He looks at you then leans down kissing your neck. “If the kids weren’t here I would make you scream my name.” He growls into your ear as he pushes length into you and you gasp as he fills you up.

You grip his back as he pulls out only to snap his hips thrusting back into you. “But I will make sure you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” He smirks as he keeps thrusting into you. You try and keep your voice down but with the force of his thrust it doesn’t help.

Xiumin captures your lips with his to silence you. You grab the back of his head pulling his hair as you moan into his mouth. Xiumin thrust hard but slow somehow gently but very powerful at the same time. You try and thrust your hips but he grips your waist pinning you down.

You whine knowing you will find marks on your waist the next day. You slowly start reaching your high and your legs start shaking. You let out a breathy moan as Xiumin kisses your neck. You’re both covered in a lite blanket of sweat and you run your nails down his back. And it causes him to slow his thrust down more making sure he hits your sweet spot each time.

Xiumin grips your thigh pushing your legs up getting a better angle. You feel your walls tighten as he grips your thigh. His thrust start to get sloppy and you know he is close too. You press your lips onto his hitting your climax. You both moan into the kiss as he releases his load into you.

You both lay there breathing heavy and he pulls out of you quickly getting up. He grabs a small towel clean you off a bit then cleans himself off. He then reaches down grabbing his boxers putting them back on. You look over trying not to move as he picks up your clothes putting them in the basket.

“You don’t have to do that.” You whine watching and he smiles walking over with one of his shirt. He places a small kiss on your lips then pulls the shirt over your head. You try and move but can’t still feeling a little too weak.

Xiumin laughs covering his mouth and you glare up at him. “I’m sorry.” He giggles helping you put the shirt on. You lay your head back down sighing and he just smiles getting back up. He turns the fan on knowing you love sleeping with it on.

He walks around to his side of the bed getting back under the cover. He then reaches over wrapping his arms around you pulling you close. You whine your body protesting the movement. “I know I know, but now you can sleep in tomorrow.” He looks down at you smiling and you rest your head on his chest closing your eyes.

He was right you had nothing to do the next day plus he just finished his tour and was off for a couple of weeks. You rest your hand on his chest and he reaches up placing his hand on yours. Xiumin looks down at you watching you closely and he starts singing softly.

He moves his hand reaching over moving hair from your face. He keeps singing lulling you to sleep. Once asleep he smiles kissing the top of your head. “I love you.” He whispers softly before falling asleep himself.

[inyournightmares97]

Your Fault (Suho)

Suho wonders if he should really be letting himself fall for his roommate's best friend, but you just can't help who you fall for, sometimes. Suho/OC. AU. Appearances from other EXO members.

Masterlist  Mobile

Suho entered the apartment after a long day. He’d secretly been hoping that none of his flatmates were around- it was often noisy when they were all at home, especially with Baekhyun and Chanyeol yelling all the time.

But the sight he came home to was Sehun sitting on the couch with a game controller in his hand. The maknae was frowning at the screen intensely, his hands tilting the controller in concentration. Sitting next to him was Jieun. She had her legs crossed and a bowl of chips in her lap- munching on them as she watched Sehun play, looking slightly bored.

“Hey,” Suho greeted them, as he took off his shoes.

“Hello, hyung,” Sehun greeted distractedly. Jieun, however, turned her entire body to face Suho and gave him a bright smile and a small wave of her hand cheerfully.

“Suho-oppa! Back from work? You look tired,” she said to him, sympathetically.

They had a no-girls rule in the shared apartment. The walls were thin, and overnight guests were inevitably overheard. It usually wasn’t a problem. Kai was the only one with a girlfriend, but he never brought her over because she had a much nicer apartment. Suho often wondered why Kai didn’t just move in with her, but it was none of his business.

Jieun was the only exception to the no-girls rule. She and Sehun weren’t dating- they both maintained that they were just friends. They’d known each other for a long time and currently even attended the same university. Sehun was a dance major and Jieun had wanted to be one too- but her parents were so controlling that they wouldn’t let her, and she’d had to take up Economics instead.

“I’m okay,” Suho reassured her. Jieun always had a big smile on her face for him and it made him feel a little embarrassed; she was three years younger than him, and probably thought he was old. But considering that Jieun practically spent all her time at his apartment, Suho was wondering how much longer he could hide his feelings for his roommate’s best friend. “Isn’t anybody else home?” he asked awkwardly.

“Baekhyun-hyung went shopping with Chanyeol-hyung,” Sehun muttered. His eyes were still on the television screen. “He has a date tomorrow. He asked out one of the senior girls from the Economics department.”

Jieun smiled and raised her hand happily. “I played wing-man!” she announced proudly.

Suho smiled. Jieun was cute without realizing it; it wasn’t like she intentionally did aegyo, but there was something innocent about her child-like behavior. He sometimes felt his heartbeat thump when she shot him a cute dimpled smile. But Jieun wasn’t stupid- far from it, her innocent looks actually hid a much more cunning nature.

Jieun’s phone rang and she jumped, shushing both Suho and Sehun and instantly moving to mute his game. Sehun glared at her but didn’t say anything as Jieun answered the phone.

“Hello? Dad?” she whispered into the phone. Suho watched her, amused.

“Yes, Dad, I’m in the library. I have an exam tomorrow. I’ll be home a little late, I’m not done studying. Yes, I had dinner. Dad, the librarian’s glaring at me, I’m going to hang up now- bye!” she cut the call, before sliding the phone into her pocket and coolly unmuting Sehun’s game.

“Sorry,” she apologized lightly.

“What do you do if he goes to the library to check on you?” Suho wondered as he pulled at his tie uncomfortably.

Jieun shrugged. “He’s never done that yet. But I have an arrangement with the librarian; there’s a corner seat in the library where she lets me leave one of my bags with a couple of books. So it looks like I just stepped out for a few minutes and I can always run over and pretend to have been there all along.” Jieun gestured lightly out of the window. “It’s around the corner from your apartment anyway.”

Suho blinked. “You have a lot of guts.”

“No, I just have really controlling parents,” Jieun replied. She suddenly smiled at Sehun. “Remember that time my Dad thought I was dating that friend of yours- Taemin? And he told me I was forbidden from having a boyfriend until I’d graduated college and had my own job?”

Sehun cracked a smile. “Taemin doesn’t even swing that way. You got scolded for nothing.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” Jieun muttered, flopping back into the sofa and picking up the bowl of chips again. “You guys are out of food, by the way. This is the last packet of chips.”

“Who’s fault is that? Go buy some more!” Sehun scolded. “Seriously, woman. You know how to cook, and you live with your parents. The least you could do is bring some food around or cook for us now and then, but no, you steal food from poor, struggling bachelors.”

Jieun made a face at him. “Why do I have to cook? Because I’m a girl?”

“No, because it’s basic decency.”

“Then consider me indecent,” she replied cheekily.

Suho cleared awkwardly. “I’ll buy the chips,” he offered lightly. “I was going to go get some beer anyway. Do you guys want anything else?”

“I’ll come with you to the store,” Jieun perked up.

“Okay. Give me a second, I’ll go get changed.”

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Suho walked silently alongside Jieun as she hummed to herself lightly. Her long hair was tied back in a messy ponytail and strands of dark hair framed her face. Suho had no idea what song she was humming, but it sounded like an old classical song.

“Why do you still live here?” Jieun asked suddenly.

Suho blinked. The sidewalk was crowded with people going home from work and he grasped Jieun’s arm to prevent her from banging into a man rushing past. He turned and looked at her sideways. “Uh-what?”

“Why do you still live with Sehun and the others?” Jieun asked again. Her eyes blinked up at him innocently. She didn’t seem to mind Suho’s hand on her arm, but he dropped it awkwardly. “I mean- I understand why you used to before- you were still in college. But now you have a decent job and you can probably afford your own place. Why don’t you move out?”

Suho shrugged. He had contemplated it before- but he knew that he could never really bring himself to be the first to leave. The others were a mess- they wouldn’t be able to manage without him. “I don’t know. I’m too used to this place, I guess.”

Jieun raised an eyebrow. “To that dingy old apartment?”

Suho nodded. “Why not?”

“Because it’s awful. It’s a place where broke college students live. Even Sehun whines about it, and he’s one of the messiest people I’ve ever seen.” Jieun looked up at Suho and tilted her head. “So why do you stay? I heard Kai-oppa saying he might move in with his girlfriend soon.”

“Well, that’s lucky for him, but I don’t have a girlfriend to move in with.”

Jieun smiled. “It’s because you know that if you leave, the others can’t make the rent without you, right?”

Suho blinked. “What?”

“I saw your rent check lying on the table the other day. You pay most of it. I know Sehun is always broke, I pay for his meals half the time. Baekhyun-oppa buys way too many video games with his part-time job salary to have much left towards rent-paying. And neither Kai-oppa nor Chanyeol-oppa have regular jobs.”

Suho stared at her, dumbstruck. “I mean… it’s not like a burden or anything…”

Jieun smiled. “You don’t have to look so embarrassed about doing a good thing. You’re a really thoughtful person, oppa. Girls like that sort of thing.” She titled her head and frowned. “But don’t be too subtle about it. Sometimes people don’t realize how much someone is doing for them. Your good deeds shouldn’t go unrecognized.”

Suho blinked, his cheeks flushing red. “I don’t mind.”

She giggled. “You’re like one of those parents from a drama who works three jobs for their kids, but they don’t want their kids to know because they’ll worry,” Jieun joked lightly. She smiled as they entered the convenience store together and her eyes lit up happily. “Oh- wow, they have those hazelnut chocolates on sale again! Oppa, will you buy me these?”

He laughed and nodded, wishing he wasn’t falling so hard for this girl.

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“Hyung, Jieun’s going to come by later and ask you for a favor,” Sehun said coolly, as he walked past Suho to open the fridge and pull out a large carton of juice. He shook it, only to realize it was empty and made a face. “Don’t agree to do it.”

Suho blinked, his toast half hanging out of . “Favor?” he asked, blankly.

Sehun nodded. “Yeah. I have to go, I have an early class. I won’t be back until late tonight.” He tossed the empty juice carton into the trashcan and then grabbed his backpack. He left the apartment before Suho could call after him, the sound of the front door banging.

Suho finished breakfast, and left his plate in the sink. He wondered briefly if he should go and wake Baekhyun or Chanyeol up before he left for work. The two of them had a tendency to sleep in and then whine about how he left without waking them up. He sometimes wished he wasn’t the only responsible one in the apartment- then again, these guys worked hard too. It wasn’t fair to them. He grabbed for his tie lying on the dining table and swung it around his neck, when he heard the front door open again.

“Suho-oppa? Oppa, are you here?” Jieun called out hesitantly.

Suho froze, his hands on the tie. “Oh- Jieun-ah. What are you doing here so early?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Jieun admitted, entering the living room slowly. She looked a little hesitant, and her hands were rubbing each other nervously. “I kind of need a favor. I mean- you can say no, I know this is kind of a weird thing to ask of someone and it’s not exactly right, but-“

As if I could deny you anything. “What is it?” Suho cut her off.

“Will you pretend to be my Dad?”

Suho nearly choked. “What?”

“One of Sehun’s dance professors- the one whose class I really wanted to take, but I couldn’t because my Dad made me register for an Economics course that clashed with it- he teaches at this private institution in the evenings. So I managed to get some contacts and he’s agreed to let me join the course, but he says that since I’m a female student, and it’s an evening course, I need to get a parent to call him up and give permission for safety reasons.”

Suho blinked at her. “Oh. Your Dad won’t give his permission?”

Jieun bit her lip and looked down at the floor. She seemed miserable, and Suho was filled with the sudden urge to wrap her in his arms and do something to make her smile. “There’s no point even asking my Dad,” she muttered. “He would say no. He thinks I won’t have time to focus on my studies if I joined dance classes.”

There was a long silence. Suho wanted to say yes, he really did. But impersonating her parent over the phone was a risky thing to do.

“Please, oppa?” Jieun asked, pouting. “It’s not like it’s illegal or anything, I’m above eighteen. I shouldn’t need parental consent to join a dance course. This professor’s just being annoying. You only need to talk to him over the phone, once, that’s it. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Suho took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

“Please?” Jieun bit her lip. “I don’t know who else to ask, oppa. You’re the only person I trust enough to help me with this. Besides… if this doesn’t work out, I’m honestly thinking of giving up dance for good.”

Suho felt his heart break a little. “I’ll do it,” he promised.

Jieun’s eyes widened. “Really?” she beamed brightly, before stepping forward and closing the distance between them. Suho froze in shock as she wrapped her arms around his waist, giving him a hug. She was too close; her cheek was pressed against his chest and he could faintly smell her lavender shampoo. Jieun smiled a little awkwardly as she released him and rubbed the back of her neck.

“Oh- sorry. You’re all dressed for work and I just crumpled your shirt,” she apologized sheepishly. She pressed her hands against the front of his chest to smooth the shirt out and Suho felt his breath catch in . Did she not realize what she was doing? How could she so coolly rub her hands all over his torso? He stared at her in shock as she leaned forward and smiled. “Oppa, I like the smell of your cologne. What brand is it?”

Suho couldn’t think straight. “I… I’m not sure.”

Jieun laughed. “Yeah? You should lend some to Sehun. He goes around smelling like old sweaty clothes half the time.”

“Oh.”

Jieun stepped back and finally looked up at him, dropping her hands from his chest. “Sorry. I’m probably making you late for work, right? I’ll let you go now. I’m going to the library anyway, I have to catch up on some coursework.”

Suho nodded, clearing his throat. He took a few seconds to compose himself.  “Oh. Do you want a ride to the library?”

Jieun blinked. “It’s just around the block from your apartment.”

“I’ll pass by it on the way to work anyway. It’ll be faster,” he reassured her. He grabbed his bag and hurriedly smoothed his hair down, before starting to walk towards the front door. Jieun laughed loudly, and grabbed his hand, pulling him back a little.

“Oppa! Are you really going to leave like that?”

Suho blinked, her warm hand around his wrist feeling like it was burning through his skin. “Eh?”

“Your tie,” Jieun pointed out. She stepped forward and tugged slightly on the loose tie that he had merely slung around his neck, forgetting to actually tie it properly. He was surprised when she picked up the loose ends of the tie and began to tie it swiftly. “How can you be so responsible and mature, yet so clumsy at the same time?” Jieun asked with a smile.

Suho blinked. “Ah- what are you doing?”

“I always watch my Mom doing this for my Dad. I thought it looked really romantic,” Jieun mused, focusing on the tie in front of her. Suho stood stiffly and stared down at her in silence. She was humming to herself as she did his tie, and then she suddenly froze. “That… doesn’t look right, does it?”

Suho glanced down and couldn’t help himself- he burst out laughing. Jieun had made some sort of clumsy-looking knot that didn’t even remotely resemble a tie. Her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment, and she lifted her hands to cover her face.

“Oppa, don’t laugh! I’m so sorry! It looked a lot easier when I watched my Mom do it!” she insisted. Suho was extremely attractive when he laughed and she could feel her face heating up. He smiled at her kindly and then shook her head.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” he said lightly, reaching up to fix the knot himself. He looked at her flustered face and chuckled. “You’re cute.”

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“You called up Jieun’s dance teacher?” Sehun demanded, as soon as he entered the apartment later that evening. Suho was watching television, and he blinked in surprise at the younger boy’s sudden entrance. "Hyung, I told you not to do it.”

Suho blinked. “Why not?” he asked.

Sehun dropped his backpack on the sofa and sighed, sitting down next to him. He looked tired, and ran a hand over his face. “Damn it, this girl is always giving me a headache. Those dance classes go on till about 12:30 am. And the studio is in one of those alleyways behind the all-night pubs. It’s a shady place and Jieun wants to go there alone every night.”

Suho sat up, startled. “You didn’t tell me that!”

Sehun raised an eyebrow. “Hyung, I told you not to give in to what she said.”

“But you didn’t tell me it was dangerous! I wouldn’t have done it! I already called up the dance professor and pretended to be her father, he even believed me!” Suho insisted. He was well-spoken and sounded very mature over the phone, no wonder the dance professor hadn’t doubted anything. He sighed and frowned. “Is she seriously going to come back home alone from that shady place at that time of night?”

Sehun blinked. “Well, there’s no stopping her now that you’ve given the permission-“

“I’ll call the teacher back and tell him Jieun’s not allowed to attend the classes anymore-“

“She’ll hate you.”

Suho hesitated, his fingers freezing on his mobile phone. He couldn’t do it. Jieun had looked so excited about those dance classes, she’d even squealed when Suho had called to tell her that his impersonation of her father had worked. Suho sighed and rubbed his temples. What was he going to do now? He couldn’t possibly let her attend those classes. It would be completely irresponsible of him, she could get seriously hurt in that area.

“There’s no other way,” Suho muttered.

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Jieun’s smile dropped from her face instantly.

“What do you mean, I’m not allowed to go?” she asked, her eyes wide. “Oppa, you told me yesterday that the professor believed you, and he gave me permission to start attending the evening dance classes!”

Suho clenched his fists. He couldn’t look at her big, horrified eyes. He was too afraid that he would give in to her. He’d always been too soft, and he turned to mush in front of Jieun in particular. He took a deep breath and reminded himself that he was the adult in this situation; that he had to be responsible and use his head.

“You lied to me, Jieun-ah,” he told her quietly. “You didn’t tell me that the class went on until late at night, and you certainly didn’t tell me that the studio was behind that line of shady pubs.”

Jieun clenched her fists. “So what if it is?” she demanded.

“Are you insane? Don’t you know how to look after your own safety?” Suho demanded, exasperated. “You’re not a child, you know what sort of crimes happen in places like that! No wonder the professor wanted your parents to give you permission!”

Jieun bit her lip and folded her arms across her chest. Her hands were trembling. “Y-you know how much dance means to me. I thought you were among the few people who understood.”  

“I understand,” Suho said firmly. “But this isn’t safe. I can’t let you do this, Jieun-ah. You could get hurt.”

“I can take care of myself!”

“Are you stupid? How are you going to do that? Have some sense, your safety has to come before anything else!” he replied sharply. “I’m sorry, Jieun-ah. But you’re not going to those dance classes on my watch.”

“You know who you sound like?” Jieun spat. “My father.”

Suho bit his lip, trying not to feel guilty. “I’m not telling you not to dance. Join a dance class elsewhere. At a better place, at a more reasonable time. I’ll help you find one, okay?”

Jieun glared at him. “If I wanted to join another class, I would have! This Professor came from Juliard, he’s one of the best. He even told me that I had the potential to take up dance professionally if I put in the effort and that’s not going to happen by attending the local dance classes they take for kids! Do you even know what it’s like to have a dream?”

Suho clenched his fists. “You think I don’t know-“

“No, you don’t! You went to college and got a bloody boring degree in Accounts and then went on to do a white-collar job that makes you miserable in life! Do you want me to end up like you?” Jieun demanded. “Do you want me to be that pathetic?”

There was a long, painful silence.

Suho closed his eyes. “You think I’m pathetic?”

She froze and her eyes widened. “Oppa, that’s not-“

“Go, then,” he told her quietly. He stood up and pointed shakily to the door. “Do whatever you want. Don’t let pathetic me stop you.”

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Sehun was pacing up and down the rug in his bedroom. Jieun sat silently on the edge of his bed, while Sehun walked up and down and breathed heavily. He was a generally relaxed and casual person, barely caring about anything enough to give it his attention. But for once, he looked frustrated.

“You’re really stupid, you know that?” Sehun demanded, finally.

Jieun bit her lip hard, so that she wouldn’t burst out crying. “I know,” she whispered.

“Do you even know how much Suho-hyung’s been through in life? He wanted to become a professional singer. He gave up that dream because he knew that his family couldn’t afford to support him through it, and because it wasn’t a stable career. He worked his way through college so he could earn enough to support his parents. And you called him pathetic?”

Jieun closed her eyes. She felt like throwing up. “I didn’t mean to,” she mumbled. “I- I was angry and upset, I know it was selfish-“

Sehun stared at her. “Jieun-ah. You’re my best friend, but I have to tell you that what you said was seriously out of line. Suho-hyung didn’t deserve that. He’s only trying to help you.”

Her throat was closing up. Jieun could feel tears coming to her eyes. Her shoulders shook, and she brought her hands up to cover her face. She’d never felt so horrible about herself. Suho had been one of the few people she looked up to, whom she could trust and who treated her with respect. And she had lashed out at him like an unruly child.

“I know that,” she whispered.

Sehun raised an eyebrow. “Good. Then you should at least-“

There was a noise from the living room, which was unmistakably the front door opening. Jieun stiffened and her eyes widened. Somebody had clearly entered the apartment. There was the noise of shuffling in the living room.

Sehun noticed Jieun’s panicked expression and sighed. “It’s probably Kai. Suho-hyung doesn’t get off work so early-“

“Sehun-ah!” Suho’s voice came unmistakably from the living room. There was the sound of footsteps and suddenly the door to Sehun’s room opened abruptly and Suho stepped in. “How many times have I told you not to leave your laundry lying around on the-“

He fell silent as soon as he saw Jieun sitting on the edge of the bed, her eyes red and looking like she’d been crying. The room was silent for a few moments, and Sehun finally decided to excuse himself from the awkward atmosphere.

“I’ll go pick up my laundry,” he muttered, walking out quietly.

Suho moved aside to let Sehun exit the room, before taking a deep breath. He glanced at Jieun and noticed that she was avoiding his gaze, looking at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. Her knuckles were white. She took a deep, shaky breath before speaking.

“Oppa, I’m so s-sorry,” she whispered. “I should never have talked to you that way or lashed out at you yesterday. I-I was upset and I know that’s no excuse, I feel horrible and-“

He cut her off. “It’s a good thing you’re here,” he said simply. “I was going to call you anyway. Do you have your dance things?”

Jieun blinked up at him, her eyes red. “W-what? No.”

“Okay. We’ll stop by your house, then. Give me a few minutes to get changed.”

“Changed for what?” she croaked, confused.

Suho sighed and pulled at his tight, uncomfortable tie as he tried to unravel it. “I’m driving you to dance class. I’ll wait nearby and once you’re done, give me a call and I’ll come pick you up. Don’t leave the studio for anything unless I’m around and if I call, you have to pick up immediately or else the deal is off.”

Jieun stared at him, her eyes wide.

“You don’t need to-“

“I gave up my dreams,” Suho said quietly. His eyes were shining as he looked at her. “You shouldn’t have to, not for such a small reason.”

Jieun stared at him, her heartbeat thudding. She could barely believe what he was saying. “You have work,” she pointed out.

“I’m taking on an earlier shift, so I’ll get off sooner in the evenings. It’s not really an issue.” Suho finally managed to yank the tie off his neck, and he turned around to leave the bedroom. Before he could take a step, he felt Jieun’s arms suddenly wrap around his torso tightly from behind. He froze as she clutched him, pressing her face into his back and letting her tears soak his white dress shirt. He could feel her shaking as she sobbed.

Suho stiffened and bit his lip. “Yah, don’t cry like that, seriously. You’re making a big deal out of nothing-“

“I was horrible to you,” Jieun whispered shakily. Her small arms tightened around his waist and she held back a sob. “I shouldn’t even matter to you. I’m just your roommate’s annoying friend that eats all your food. W-why are you such a good person?”

You don’t really want to know. Suho bit his lip. He placed a hand on her arm that was wrapped around him and gently removed it. He turned around to face her and gave her a small smile. “Look, don’t worry so much. Just let me go get changed, okay? You can go wait by the car, I’ll meet you there in two minutes.”

Jieun nodded and stepped back from him, reaching up to wipe her tears away. “Oppa,” she muttered.

Suho blinked at her. “Hmm?”

“You really shouldn’t be such a good person,” she said softly. “People will end up taking advantage of you.”

Or they’ll fall for you, she thought silently. Which could be a lot more dangerous.

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2 months later.

“Personally, I’m highly satisfied with this arrangement,” Baekhyun declared, as he stuffed more food into his mouth. He looked mildly disgusting talking with his mouth full, but he didn’t seem to care. “How did we not know that Jieun was such a good cook, before? She’s at our apartment 24/7, and she eats all my chips but she doesn’t have the decency to tell us she’s an amazing cook?”

Sehun leaned forward in his seat as he twirled his chopsticks in the bowl of noodles. “She’s always been a good cook, she’s just really lazy. That’s why she doesn’t tell people she can cook; she’s afraid they’ll ask her to.”

Chanyeol let out a loud of satisfaction. “Oh my God, this food…!”

Baekhyun sighed happily. “Why is she suddenly bringing us meals, then?”

“It’s a mixture of guilt and gratitude, topped off with her crush on Suhp-hyung,” Sehun replied, munching. “Jieun feels so bad about the fact that Suho-hyung drives her to and from those late-night dance classes every day, so she fusses over him and makes him home-cooked food. But if you’ve noticed carefully, it all began after Chanyeol’s birthday when Suho-hyung got a little drunk and started talking about how his ideal type was a woman who could make good food.”

Baekhyun snickered. “No kidding. How do you even deal with those two?”

Sehun made a face. “I try not to think about it.”

There was the sound of the front door opening, and they heard Suho and Jieun’s voices coming from the entrance to the apartment. They were talking cheerfully, having just returned from Jieun’s dance class. Both of them looked surprised to see Sehun, Baekhyun and Chanyeol sitting around the dining table and eating happily.

“Oh- you guys are still up?” Suho asked lightly. “What’s all this food? Jieun-ah- did you cook again?”

Jieun smiled and nodded shyly. “You mentioned that you were missing your Mom’s japchae, so I decided to try the recipe. I kept it in the fridge to heat up later, but I guess these guys found it already. There’s kimchi too- it’s my grandmother’s recipe.”

“It tastes really good!” Baekhyun said with a grin, giving her a thumbs up.

“Really? I’m glad you like it! Take some more!” Jieun placed a hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder and leaned over him to put some more of the noodles into his bowl. He smiled happily, until she quietly placed her face beside his ear on the pretext of serving him and her grip on his shoulder tightened. “Eat the food I made for Suho-oppa again, and you’ll be feeding out of a tube for the rest of your life,” she hissed quietly.

Baekhyun’s smile dropped. “I think I’m kind of full,” he said nervously. “Let’s leave the rest for Suho-hyung, okay, guys?”

“Oppa, you sit,” Jieun insisted, pushing Suho towards a chair and making him sit down. “You must be tired. I’ll heat up the soup for you, it must still be in the fridge if you guys didn’t find it yet.”

Suho smiled at her. “Jieun-ah, you don’t have to keep doing all this-“

“It’s okay!” Jieun insisted, disappearing into the kitchen. Suho was left sitting at the dining table, his face flushed slightly red. Secretly, he loved it when Jieun made food and fussed over him. They’d grown a lot closer ever since he’d started taking her to dance classes every day and he could see the change in the way she spoke to him. Suho was often oblivious but even he could see that the way Jieun treated him was different from the way she treated other men. He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing.

“So, when’s the wedding?” Chanyeol joked, once Jieun had disappeared into the kitchen.

Suho flushed. “What are you saying?”

“It’s clear Jieun likes you,” Baekhyun pointed out. “She never used to make food and fuss over your health and stuff before.”

Suho shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “She’s just grateful that I’m driving her to those dance classes-“

“-and the way she calls you oppa,” Chanyeol pointed out.

“She calls all of you oppa, except Sehun!”

Baekhyun shook his head. “No, no. It’s not the same. When she says oppa to you, she does it in the sweet, sort of high-pitched tone that girls do when they want to look cute. The intonation is different. It’s not just calling you oppa, it’s like ‘oh oppa, look at me, I want your attention.’ Or ‘oppa, aren’t I cute?’. Trust me. I know the difference.”

“She does like you, hyung,” Sehun admitted.

Suho felt his cheeks turn red. He’d never imagined Jieun returning his feelings. He’d always thought that she would never see him that way, that he was like that older brother you respected and only really went to when you needed something. But if even Sehun was admitting that it seemed like Jieun liked him… his face flushed red. He wouldn’t let himself think about that. It was too much to expect. “She’s three years younger than me,” he muttered. “And she’s Sehun’s friend-“

Sehun scoffed. “Don’t put this on me. I don’t care who Jieun dates.”

Suho opened to respond, but Jieun re-entered the room with a heated bowl of soup and placed it in front of Suho with an excited smile. She handed him a spoon and sat down opposite him. “Oppa, tell me what you think! I tried something different with it today!”

Baekhyun tapped Jieun on the shoulder. “Excuse me.”

Jieun tore her eyes away from Suho to blink at him. “Hmm?”

“You brought out one bowl,” Baekhyun pointed out, before gesturing to himself, Sehun and Chanyeol. “But there are three more people here.”

Jieun smiled at him sweetly. “Good. Three people means three pairs of hands and legs. You can go get it yourself.”  

Baekhyun shot her a dirty look and leaned back in his seat. How rude. Just because she had a crush on Suho was no reason for her to treat the rest of them so badly. He smiled to himself and leaned back in his seat. He would get his revenge. “Suho-hyung,” he said lightly. “What happened to that girl from work you said you were interested in?”

Suho blinked, swallowing a mouthful of soup. “Girl from work?”

“Yeah. The pretty one that works at the reception, and keeps flirting with you. Didn’t you say that you asked her out for coffee? How did it go?” Baekhyun pressed. He glanced at Jieun and smirked when he saw that she had frozen, and her face had turned white.

Suho’s eyes widened, as he understood what Baekhyun was trying to do. “What? No, no, there’s nobody like that, seriously-“

“She’s really attractive. I saw her the other day when I came by to give you some of your files. She has a really pretty smile too, right? I would have asked her out myself, if you hadn’t already snagged her,” Baekhyun continued casually. “Seems mature, too. Is she older than you, hyung? Seems like you would be into noonas…”

Jieun stiffened. “I’ll… um, I’ll go get the rest of you some soup,” she muttered, quickly hurrying out of the room. She looked flustered and her cheeks were pink. Suho sighed as she ran into the kitchen quickly and then narrowed his eyes at Baekhyun.

“That wasn’t nice.”

“Neither was she,” Baekhyun replied simply.

Suho stood up slowly, biting his lip. He wondered if he should just ask her- did she like him? Were there actually any feelings there, or was she simply acting this way because she was grateful for everything he did for her? He couldn’t tell for sure, and it was killing him.

“Are you okay?” he asked Jieun quietly, following her into the kitchen.

Jieun bit her lip. She was facing the stove, having poured the remaining soup into a pot and was heating it silently. Her heartbeat thudded as Suho approached. She took a deep breath and swallowed. “I’m fine,” she replied.

Suho cleared . “You don’t need to heat up the soup for those guys-“

“I don’t mind, really,” she insisted. She turned and smiled at him. “Oppa, you should go eat. You’ve been losing weight recently and I think it’s because you don’t eat your meals on time.”

“You’ve been working hard too. You know that you don’t need to do all this, right?” Suho asked softly. “It’s not your responsibility to feed us, Jieun-ah. We’re all adults.”

Jieun stared at him and flushed. She suddenly felt ashamed. What was she thinking? What was cooking a few measly meals going to change? Suho was still out of her league. She suddenly felt pathetic. She felt like a pre-school child that cheerfully made mud-cakes for a her high-schooler crush, oblivious to the fact that she really had no chance with him and he was just humoring her. Suho was older, and he was perfect. She was just a child in front of him. “I’m sorry,” she muttered.

“No, don’t apologize-“

“I’m such a burden, right?” she sniffed slightly as she turned back to the stove. Suho stared at her back, shocked. Was Jieun crying? He wasn’t sure if it was the onions that she’d put in the soup or if she was really crying. Her back was facing him. “You don’t want me hanging around all the time and imposing myself on you. Sorry. I’ll go home, I won’t bother you-“

Suho stared at her. “Who told you that you were a burden? That’s not what I’m trying to say at all.”

Jieun bit her lip and forced a watery smile. “Of course not. You’re too nice to say something like that.”

“Jieun-ah-“

“I just don’t know what to do. You do so much for me. You take care of me, and you give up sleep just to take me to dance classes and you’re such a good person that I can’t help but fall for you. But I must be annoying you. It’s okay. I know how silly my position is.” Jieun took a deep breath and held back her tears. She couldn’t help but feel so pathetic. “Oppa, you don’t need to take me to dance classes anymore-“

Suho felt his breath catch. “What are you trying to say, Jieun-ah?”

Jieun felt her shoulders tremble slightly. “I’m not good at hiding my feelings. So you must know already, right? Everybody else does. They’re probably laughing at me because I’m so silly for thinking I have a chance with you.”

“Nobody’s laughing at you,” he said softly. “Least of all, me.”

“But to be honest, it’s your fault too, oppa,” Jieun replied. Her eyes widened and she suddenly turned to face him. “You can’t- you can’t be so nice, and kind, and selfless and expect a girl not to fall for you. You should have seen it coming. It’s even worse when you get embarrassed and pretend to be oblivious about your own charms because it makes me fall for you even more.”

Suho flushed red. “That’s not-“

“It’s okay. I know you’re too nice to reject me. So I’ll just go, and you should date that girl from your office. I know you’ll treat her like a princess, and-“

“There’s no girl from my office,” Suho cut her off firmly. “My receptionist is 55 years old. Baekhyun was messing with you.”

“Oh.” Jieun avoided his gaze.

Suho took a deep breath and stepped closer to her. “Jieun-ah, look at me.”

“I can’t,” she mumbled. She was too afraid that his kind smile and warm eyes would her reel in again. She felt to embarrassed to even glance at him. Why had she let herself fall so hard for someone like Suho? Her hands shook. “Please don’t reject me nicely. I’d rather not have to listen to that, it’ll only remind me of what a good person you are and I know you hate hurting people’s feelings-“

“I’m not rejecting you.”

She stiffened as Suho gently grabbed one of her hands, and pulled her closer to him. Jieun couldn’t help it. She let herself look up at him. He was smiling down at her kindly, and Jieun felt weak under his gaze. Her heartbeat was thumping loudly in her chest. Her face was red. “Oppa, please don’t-“

“Let me kiss you,” he said softly. “’You don’t know how long I’ve been holding back.”

Jieun stared up at him in shock. Suho gently stroked her cheek with his thumb, giving her time to process the idea before leaning down and pressing his lips against hers. It was a short and sweet kiss. His lips were warm and Jieun’s head spun as he slowly pulled away. Suho pressed his forehead against hers, and Jieun could feel his warm breath on her face.

Jieun’s head was spinning, and she stared up at him with wide eyes, her lips parted a little in surprise. “You-you’re really not going to reject me?” she whispered, shocked.

Suho bit his lip and smiled. “Not at all.”

“But-“

“I know you think I’m some great, selfless person,” Suho cut her off. “And that I do so much for you because I’m just nice, but the truth is, I’m not. I do these things because I care about you, and I’ve had feelings for you for a long time now.”

Jieun blinked. “R-really?”

“Hmmm,” Suho said softly. His hands came up to cup her cheeks. “But honestly, it’s your fault too. You can’t be so beautiful, and innocent and cute and expect a guy not to fall for you.”

Jieun couldn’t hold back her smile. “Sorry,” she said lightly.

“You don’t sound very apologetic this time.”

“I’m not.”

Suho nodded. “Good. You shouldn’t keep apologizing for everything. Some things don’t need an apology.”

“Like this?” she leaned up and pressed her lips to his again. Suho was taken aback, but he smiled and wrapped his arms around her tightly. He pulled her close to him, pressing kisses to her lips in between smiles and loving the way she felt in his arms. Jieun’s arms wound their way around his neck and she fisted his shirt in her hands as she kissed him back. For a moment, they completely forgot about the group of boys in the other room, until somebody cleared their throat loudly.

Suho pulled away and flushed as soon as he realized that Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Sehun were standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Uhh….” Suho flushed red and gently unraveled himself from Jieun.

Baekhyun had a smirk on his face. He folded his arms across his chest as he leaned against the doorframe cockily. “Hyung. You’re aware that according to our agreement, if you and Jieun start dating then she’s not allowed in the apartment anymore, right?”

Jieun whirled around and glared at him. “You know that according to your agreement, you’re each supposed to be paying one-fifth of the rent, right?”

There was a brief silence, before the three of them turned and left the kitchen quietly. Jieun could hear them grumbling from the living room, something along the lines of ‘is she his girlfriend or his lawyer?’. Jieun turned back around to face Suho, who was smiling down at her.

“You’re adorable,” he told her gently.

“Me? Oppa, I swear. If you’re so nice, people are just going to keep taking advantage of you all the time.”

Suho smiled. “Lucky I have you to defend me.”

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

[dragonydreams]

Steal the Air - Captain Canary Pump Up the Volume AU

Title: Steal the Air Fandom: DC's Legends of Tomorrow Rating: Teen Pairings/Characters: Sara Lance/Leonard Snart Summary: Leonard Snart is your regular quiet nerdy guy by day, but at night, make sure to catch his Facebook Live posts as the mysterious Captain Cold. Modern Pump Up the Volume AU Timeline: n/a Word Count: 5,142 Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over these characters. I am merely borrowing them from Berlanti Productions, DC Entertainment, and Warner Bros. Television. Betas: Thank you to angelskuuipo and shanachie_quill for looking this over for me. Author's Note 1/Additional Disclaimer: I love the movie "Pump Up the Volume" and thought it would work so well as a Captain Canary story. It's so brilliantly written, that I couldn't bring myself to change many of the words from the film, so much of the text belongs to Allan Moyle and New Line Cinema. Author's Note 2: Written for @ficcingcaptaincanary​'s Movie AU prompt. (Told you I was going to be late with this.) Author's Note 3: Youtube links to songs used in story as you read or listen to playlist for this story on Spotify

Did you ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up? You know that feeling that the whole country is like one inch away from saying, 'That's it, forget it.' We live in a world where vigilantes dispense justice in the cities and metahumans rule the streets. And we're expected to survive high school and go out into that crazy world. I can barely think about surviving another day of mediocre education, let alone making it in the "real world". You know what I'm talking about, Starling City. So sit back, relax, and do not adjust your screen because I am Captain Cold and this is live. This is life.

~~*~~

"Hey, Sin, have you seen this?" Sara asked, sidling up next to her best friend as they headed into Starling City High School.

"What?" Sin asked, taking the cell phone from Sara. She glanced down at the open Facebook app. "Captain Cold? Yeah, I've been watching. You like every one of his posts so I was curious. Who is he?"

"No one knows," Sara said, taking her phone back and pulling up his profile. "The only photo is his profile photo with the huge parka and dark goggles. You can barely see his face."

"Maybe that's the point," Sin said. "He leaves that photo up blocking the camera for the live videos on purpose."

"I know, but he's gotta be a student here. He's as much as said so," Sara pointed out. "I'm gonna find him."

"Good luck with that," Sin said.

~~*~~

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed Everybody knows the war is over Everybody knows the good guys lost Everybody knows the fight was fixed The poor stay poor, the rich get rich That's how it goes Everybody knows - Everybody Knows, by Leonard Cohen

Okay, down to business. I got my Black Jack gum here and I got that feeling, mmm that familiar feeling that something rank is going down up there. Yeah, I can smell it. I can almost taste it. The rankness in the air. It's everywhere. It's running through that old pipeline out there, trickling along the dumb concrete river and coming up the drains of those lovely track homes we all live in. I mean, I don't know. Everywhere I look it seems everything is sold out.

My dad sold out. And my mom sold out years ago when she took off after birthing my sister. And then he went and brought us here, to this this shitty corner of the world. He made me everything I am today, so naturally, I hate the bastard.

~~*~~

Laurel Lance sat on her bed, laptop open on her outstretched legs as she watched Captain Cold's live feed. She muted the video as her dad came into the room.

"I don't know how you get perfect grades when you're on that thing all hours of the night." Laurel felt like her smile was more of a grimace. "Don't forget that your Harvard interview is tomorrow. Don't want you looking tired. Good night, Sweetheart."

She kept the smile plastered on her face until her dad had closed her bedroom door before unmuting the video almost violently.

She didn't know why, but this Captain Cold seemed to understand her in a way her father never would.

~~*~~

I'm getting a lot of comments and private messages here. 'Dear Captain Cold, my boyfriend's giving me the cold shoulder. How do I show him that I really love him?' Why do you keep asking me for love advice? Do I seem like I have a lot of experience with relationships? If I had a girlfriend I'd be making out with her instead of talking to all you lonely freaks. 'Dear Captain, I think you're full of crap. High school isn't as bad as you make it out to be. Cheer up, buddy.' Well, you may be one of the few teenagers who doesn't hate high school, but let me tell you something, you're in the minority. You wanna know why I'm not "cheery"? I just got dragged to this dumb city. I don't have any friends, no money of my own, no car, and oh yeah, no license. I don't know what good a license would do since there's nothing to do here anyway.

~~*~~

Leonard Snart hesitantly went up to the librarian's desk in the school library, handing over the book he was returning to the cute blonde girl who was working at the desk.

"Hi," she greeted him.

"Hi," he automatically responded, adjusting his glasses.

"You're in my writing class, right?" she asked.

Leonard really wished the teacher hadn't read from his paper in today's class, drawing this girl's attention to him. Pretty girls like her made him nervous. "Uh huh."

"I like Mrs. Smoak. She's quirky." She turned away to look at his check out slip. "Now you're in trouble!" She paused dramatically. "You owe me twenty-five cents. 'How To Talk Dirty And Influence People' by Lenny Bruce. Who's he? Any good?"

Leonard shifted uncomfortably as he dug a quarter out of his pocket and handed it to her. "He's all right."

"Talk a lot?" Sara teased.

"Not too much, no," Leonard responded, making his retreat.

~~*~~

Sara pulled out a school newspaper with pictures of all the senior class in it as she watched the quiet new guy practically run from the library. She found his photo and circled it, then crossed it out. "Cute, but no way," she mused.

~~*~~

Curtain’s call Is the last of all When the lights fade out All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave And the masquerade Will come calling out At the mess you've made

Don't wanna let you down But I am hell bound Though this is all for you Don't wanna hide the truth

No matter what we breed We still are made of greed This is my kingdom come This is my kingdom come - Demons, by Imagine Dragons

Guess who? It's ten o'clock; do you care where your parents are? After all, it's a jungle out there. I don't know. Everywhere I look it seems that someone's getting butt surfed by the system. Parents are always talking about the system, and the sixties and how cool it was. I hate the sixties, I hate school, I hate principals, I hate vice principals! But my true pure refined hatred is reserved for guidance counsellors. Captain Cold just happens to have in his very hands a copy of a memo written by Mr. Slade Wilson, guidance counselor extraordinaire to one Miss Amanda Waller, high school principal. "I found Miranda un-remorseful about her current condition." Bastard can't even say she's knocked up. "And she's unwilling to minimize its effect on the morals of the student population." Guidance counsellors! If they knew anything about career moves would they have ended up as guidance counsellors?

~~*~~

Carter Hall was sitting in front of his computer, Captain Cold's livestream open in one window with a blank Word doc open in another.

He hastily muted his computer as his mom knocked on the open door. "Carter have you finished your homework yet?"

"Yes," he somberly answered.

"Your father and I are downstairs, why don't you come and join us for once," she implored.

"No," Carter refused.

"Okay, Carter, have it your way," she said, sadly.

"Thanks," Carter said as she retreated.

Carter unmuted his computer as he typed: Dear Captain Cold, do you think I should kill myself?

~~*~~

I took the pistol and I shot out all the lights I started running in the middle of the night The law ain't never been a friend of mine I would kill again to keep from doing time You should never ever trust my kind

I'm a wanted man I got blood on my hands Do you understand I'm a wanted man - I'm a Wanted Man, by Royal Deluxe

Send me your most pathetic moment, your most anything, as long as it's real. I mean I want the size, the shape, the feel, the smell. I want blood, sweat, and tears in these messages. I want brains and ectoplasm all over them. Hallelujah! And now, all my chilly listeners, get comfy because my White Canary is back. "Come in. Every night you enter me like a criminal. You break into my brain, but you're no ordinary criminal. You put your feet up, you drink your mug of hot chocolate, you start to party, you turn up my stereo. Songs I've never heard, but I move anyway. You get me crazy, I say 'Do it.' I don't care what, just do it. Jam me, jack me, push me, pull me -talk hard!" I like that. Talk Hard. I like the idea that a voice can just go somewhere uninvited and just kind of hang out like a dirty thought in a nice clean mind. To me a thought is like a virus. You know, it can just kill all the healthy thoughts and just take over. That would be serious.

Sara was lying on her bed, listening to Captain Cold read her message for all the world to hear. "That would be totally serious," she agreed.

I know all of my chilly listeners would love it if I would just call up the pretty bird lady. But no! Because she never encloses her number.

Sara laughed. "Tough luck, creepoid."

She's probably a lot like me, a legend in her own mind. But you know what, I bet in real life she's probably not that wild. I bet she's kind of shy like so many of us who briskly walk the halls, pretending to be late for some class, pretending to be distracted. Hey, poetry lady, are you really this cool? Are you out there? Are you listening?

"I'm always out here," Sara promised.

I feel like I know you, and yet… we'll never meet. Ah, so be it. I don't know; drugs are out, sex is out, politics are out, everything is on hold. I mean we definitely need something new. We just keep waiting for some new voice to come out of somewhere and just say, "Hey, wait a minute, what is wrong with this picture?" Well maybe this is the answer to everything, wouldn't that be nice, huh? "Dear Captain Cold, do you think I should kill myself?" Great! Signed, "I'm Serious." And of course there is a number here. Hello, Serious?

Carter Hall took a deep breath and answered his phone. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" Captain Cold asked.

"Yep," Carter answered.

"I guess what I'm asking is how serious are you? How are you going to do it?" Captain Cold asked.

"I'm gonna blow my fucking head off," Carter responded.

"Oh! Well, do you have a gun?" Captain Cold asked.

"No, I'm going to use my finger, genius," Carter said, sarcastically.

"All right. So where is this gonna take place, huh?"

"Right here," Carter said.

"Where is this alleged gun? Do you have it with you? Did you at least write a note? You have a reason, don't you? You're not going to be one of those people who kills themselves and nobody has any idea of why they did it? Hey, that's why we need a note, pal!" Captain Cold cajoled.

"I'm all alone," Carter admitted.

"No, hey, look, maybe it's okay to be alone sometimes, everybody's alone," Captain Cold insisted.

"You're not," Carter said.

"I didn't talk to one person today, not- not counting teachers. I sit alone every day you know, sitting in the stairwell eating my lunch, reading a book. What about you?"

Carter hung up the phone. His mind was already made up. He loaded the gun.

I hate that, now I'm depressed. Now I feel like killing myself, but luckily I'm too depressed to bother. Great! Straight to voicemail. Rejected again, that's okay I'm used to it, terminal loneliness. People always think they know who a person is but they're always wrong. Most parents have no idea. It's just that mine had me tested because I sit alone in my room alone, naked, wearing only a cock ring, heh heh! I mean it really bugs me, everyone knows what a person should be, who cares how I should be! You know, in real life I could be that anonymous nerd sitting across from you in Chem. Lab, staring at you so hard, you turn around, he tries to smile, but the smile just comes out all wrong. You just think how pathetic, then he just looks away and never looks back at you again. Well, hey, who cares, that's my motto. Well, sleep tight, Miranda, sleep tight, White Canary, sleep tight, Mr. Serious. Maybe you'll feel better tomorrow.

Sara went to the paper she had taped to the wall of what she knew about Captain Cold so far. She wrote down that he ate lunch on the stairs reading a book.

She had a pretty good idea where to go look now.

~~*~~

Leonard was sitting outside with an open book and his lunch the next day, like he did every day.

The pretty girl from the library skipped down the stairs and stopped in front of him. "Hi, got a stick of gum?" She grabbed the package out of his shirt pocket, triumphantly. "Black Jack! My name's Sara, what's yours?"

"Leonard."

"Leonard," she repeated. "Well, hi, Leonard."

"Hi," Leonard said, marking his place in his book and closing it.

"Listen, I was gonna cut fourth period, do you wanna join me in the art supply room?" Sara asked.

"Er, no, I can't, got to go, sorry," Leonard said, awkwardly getting to his feet and practically running off.

"Sorry!" Sara called after him. "Maybe next time."

~~*~~

Mrs. Smoak was somber as she got the class's attention. "I have some very upsetting news. Last night one of our students, Carter Hall, took his own life. For those of you who knew him, there will be a memorial service at Dempsey Hall on Friday. I know it hurts, it's painful to lose someone."

~~*~~

Leonard found a quiet corner on campus and pulled out his phone. He opened Captain Cold's Facebook account and read the newest message from White Canary aloud, to himself. "You're the voice crying out in the wilderness, you're the voice that makes my brain burn and makes my guts go gooey. Yeah, you gut me, my insides spill out on your altar and tell the future, my steaming gleaming guts spill out your nature. I know you, not your name, but your game. I know the true you, come to me or I'll come to you."

"So you are him," Sara exclaimed from behind Leonard, causing him to jump. "Don't worry I'm not going to bust you or anything. Aren't you going to ask who I am?"

"No, I don't think so. No!" Leonard said.

"I'm the White Canary!" She boasted. "You don't believe me." She grabbed his phone and quoted without looking at the screen, "'I know you, not your name, but your game. I know the true you, come to me or I'll come to you.' Hey, relax, I'm not really like that, except when I am."

Leonard tried to get away from her, still upset from learning about Carter's suicide. "Look, I really can't handle this right now, okay?"

Sara looked at him sympathetically, as if she could read his mind. "Look, it's not your fault. I was listening last night. I didn't think he'd go through with it."

~~*~~

You're free to do what you want You never thought of consequences You created your own little world Where you could always be different

A place where the rules do not apply You could never be denied You took advantage of a good think Now the void you filled is empty

Put the mask back on Put the mask back on Don't take it off 'til everybody's gone

Put the mask back on Put the mask back on No disguise has ever lasted so long - Cover Up, by Trapt

You see I never planned it like this. I set up this account to talk to my old friends, but they didn't know to look for me under this handle. I thought I was talking to nobody. I imagined that nobody was listening. Maybe I imagined one person out there. Anyway one day I woke up and I realized I was never going to be normal and so I said fuck it, I said so be it and Captain Cold was born. I never meant to hurt anyone, honestly, I never meant to hurt anyone. I'm sorry, Carter. I never said, "Don't do it." I'm sorry. Um, anyway I'm done, stick a fork in me it's been grand. This is Captain Cold saying sayonara, over and out.

Sara sat staring at her computer as the video ended. "Come on, you can't do this," she told the screen.

Laurel shook her phone in the bedroom next to Sara's. "This is a joke right?"

"C'mon, Captain baby, don't stiff," Mick, Sin's boyfriend, complained as they watched together.

Leonard Snart paced around his bedroom, staring at his computer equipment. "What am I doing? Fuck It!" He sat back down and queued up a new video session.

You hear about some kid who did something stupid, something desperate. What possessed him? How could he do such a terrible thing? It's really quite simple, actually. Consider the life of a teenager. You have parents and teachers telling you what to do. You have movies, magazines, and TV telling you what to do. But you know what you have to do. Your job, your purpose, is to get accepted, get a cute girlfriend, and think up something great to do with the rest of your life. What if you're confused and can't imagine a career? What if you're funny looking and you can't get a girlfriend? You see no one wants to hear it, but the terrible secret is that being young is sometimes less fun than being dead.

"This is great, he's making it worse," the reporter commented to his cameraman outside the high school the kid who'd killed himself had attended. Whoever this guy was behind the parka and goggles, he'd made an impression. Whether that impression was good or bad, remained to be seen. What would get better ratings?

Suicide is wrong, but the interesting thing about it is how uncomplicated it seems. There you are, you got all these problems swarming around your brain, and here is one simple, one incredibly simple solution. I'm just surprised it doesn't happen every day around here. Now, now they're going to say I said offing yourself is simple, but no, no, no, no, it's not simple. It's like everything else, you have to read the fine print. For instance, assuming there is a heaven who would ever wanna go there, you know? I mean think about it, sitting on this cloud, you know it's nice, it's quiet, there's no teachers, there's no parents, but guess what? There's nothing to do! Fucking boring. Another thing to remember about suicide is that it is not a pretty picture. First of all, you shit your shorts, you know. So, there you are, dead, people are weeping over you, crying, girls you never spoke to are saying, "Why? Why? Why?" and you have a load in your shorts! That's the way I see it. Sue me. Now, they're saying I shouldn't think stuff like this. They're saying something is wrong with me, that I should be ashamed. Well, I'm sick of being ashamed. Aren't you?

"Sick to death!" Laurel agreed.

I don't mind being dejected and rejected, but I'm not going to be ashamed about it.

"Hallelujah," Sara called out.

At least pain is real. You look around and you see nothing is real, but the pain is real. You know, even this show isn't real. This isn't me; I'm using a voice disguiser. I'm a phony fuck just like my dad, just like anybody. You see, the real me is just as worried as the rest of you. They say I'm disturbed, well, of course, I'm disturbed. I mean we're all disturbed, and if we're not, why not? Doesn't this blend of blindness and blandness want to make you do something crazy? Then why not do something crazy? It makes a hell of a lot more sense than blowing your fucking brains out, you know. Go nuts, go crazy, get creative! You got problems? You just chuck 'em, nuke 'em! They think you're moody? Make 'em think you're crazy, make 'em think you might snap! They think you got attitude? You show 'em some real attitude! Come on, go nuts, get crazy. Hey no more Mr. Nice Guy! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh god!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh yes.

We're all excited But we don't know why Maybe it's cause We're all gonna die

And when we do (When we do) What's it all for (What's it all for) You better live now Before the grim reaper come knocking on your door

Tell me, are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down? Oh, no let's go!

Let's go crazy Let's get nuts Look for the purple banana Until they put us in the truck, let's go! - Let’s Go Crazy, by Prince

~~*~~

Laurel Lance took Captain Cold's words to heart. She grabbed her ribbons and trophies - symbols of her academic achievement, of her so-called perfect life, and carried them down to the kitchen where she stuffed them in the microwave. Just before she slammed the door closed, she ripped off her stupid pearls and tossed them in, too. She punched something into the timer and watched in fascination as the items slowly spun around until the microwave exploded, spitting debris hit her in the face, knocking her out.

The explosion drew Sara out of her bedroom and down the stairs where she found her sister unconscious on the floor. She looked around, bewildered, until she saw the microwave and she burst out laughing.

"You tell 'em, Captain Cold," she muttered, reaching for her phone to call an ambulance.

~~*~~

The next day, Leonard watched as students rearranged the cards on the notice boards to spell out STAY COLD and hung signs that said THE TRUTH IS A VIRUS. Some of the teachers were running around freaking out, trying to get it all down. Others thought it was about time someone made a stand.

Sara tracked down Leonard and got him alone in the art room. "So, I don't know if you know this, but my sister is the perfect Laurel Lance." Leonard shook his head to indicate that he had not known this. "So, last night she burned up all her shit right after you suggested it, in our kitchen! Oh, her precious pearls were flying like bullets. Dad was un-thrilled."

Leonard ran a hand over his closely shorn hair. "This is out of control."

"Yeess!" Sara emphatically agreed, grinning maniacally.

"That's it, it's over. I just hope it isn't too late," Leonard said.

"Leonard!" Sara called after him as he ran away, again.

"Just leave me alone, okay, please?" he called back over his shoulder.

~~*~~

Leonard allowed his dad to drag him to the PTA meeting at the school. He slumped down in his chair as Principal Waller tried to conduct regular business when all the parents wanted to do was talk about him. Well, Captain Cold. He sat up straighter as Laurel Lance walked up on the dais.

"My name is Laurel Lance and I have something to say to you people. People are saying that Captain Cold is introducing bad things and encouraging bad things. But it seems to me that these things were already here. My god, why don't you people listen? He's trying to tell you something is wrong with this school. Half the people that are here are on a probation of some kind. We are all really scared to be who we really are. I am not perfect. I've just been going through the motions of being perfect, and inside I'm screaming."

"Laurel, you were a model student," Waller said, disappointment evident in her voice.

Leonard made a hasty retreat after Laurel left. This was all getting to be too much.

~~*~~

Leonard stood leaning against the wall outside the sliding door of his basement bedroom, deleting messages for Captain Cold on his phone.

"Hi! What are you doing? You having fun?" Sara asked as she approached him.

"Yeah," Leonard said, absently.

"Hey, look, I took some of these off the wall for you. I mistakenly thought you might want them," she said, thrusting some handmade signs at him.

"Thanks," Leonard said, letting them fall to the ground.

"So I guess you're not going on tonight," Sara commented after a few minutes of silence.

"Brilliant," Leonard drawled, pushing off the wall and going back into his room.

Sara huffed, following him. "Is this all just a game to you? You know you can't just shout 'fire' in a theatre and then walk out. You have a responsibility for the people who believe in you. What is this? C'mon say something, say anything. Open your mouth and say, 'Get the hell out of here bitch.'"

"I can't," Leonard said.

"You can't what?" Sara demanded.

"I can't talk," Leonard ground out.

Sara snorted. "Sure you can talk."

"I can't talk to you," he clarified. He let out a noise of frustration as he sat in front of his computer, put on his headset, and opened Facebook.

I got a message from this guy who's got a problem, he can't talk. I mean he can talk, but never when he wants to, not to girls, not to people. He just opened up his mouth and nothing came out. And this jerk finds somebody that he likes, which is probably the worst thing to happen to a person who can't talk. So, I don't know what to tell this guy because lately every time I give out advice the fit hits the shan. So, I don't know, maybe the best thing to do is just turn around and face the music and try to talk.

Leonard turned around to talk to Sara but she's gone.

"Leo," Lewis called, knocking on the door.

"Coming," Leonard called back, pausing the video and turning off the monitor.

"Leo, it's just me. I wanna come in for a minute," Lewis said, turning the locked doorknob.

"Yeah, just give me a second here, two seconds," Leonard said, taking off the headset and hiding it under a dirty tee-shirt.

"Open the goddamn door," Lewis shouted.

"On my way," Leonard said, checking the room one last time before yanking the door open.

"I have been out there for two minutes, what the hell are you doing in here?" Lewis demanded, looking for evidence of drugs or alcohol. Or a Facebook video.

"I was just reading," Leonard said, gesturing to the book on his desk.

"Oh c'mon, Leo, I heard you. I heard you talking," Lewis said.

"I was reading aloud," Leonard quickly said.

"Oh c'mon, do you really expect me to believe that?"

"Okay, I'll tell you the truth," Leonard said, not sure what he was going to say.

"He was talking to me," Sara said, popping up from behind the loveseat. "Hi, I'm Sara Lance."

"Nice to meet you," Lewis said, stunned. "How do you do?"

"I was afraid you would be mad at me for disturbing Leonard's homework," Sara said.

"You don't know how happy I am to meet you," Lewis said, looking at his son with new appreciation.

"Listen, I've got to go, but it was really nice to have met you. Bye, Leonard," Sara said, taking a step towards the sliding door.

"No, you don't have to go. Leo, she doesn't have to go," Lewis said.

"Bye now, see you tomorrow," Sara said with a wink to Leonard as she slipped outside.

"You've been a bad dog, haven't you?" Lewis said, punching his son lightly on the arm. "You know, for a second there I thought you were that crazy Facebook character they've been talking about on the news."

"Maybe he's not that crazy, Dad," Leonard suggested.

"Right! Very funny. Go get her, go on. That's my idea of homework," Lewis cajoled.

After his dad left, Leonard got his microphone back on and resumed his session.

Sorry about that, folks, technical difficulties. Let's see who we have out there tonight. The usual band of teenage malcontents. I certainly hope so, because Captain Cold is feeling kind of rude tonight.

~~*~~

Let's go out in flames so everyone knows who we are 'Cause these city walls never knew that we'd make it this far We've become echoes, but echoes are fading away So let's dance like two shadows, burning out a glory day

Devil's on your shoulder Strangers in your head As if you don't remember As if you can forget It's only been a moment It's only been a lifetime But tonight you're a stranger Some silhouette - Silhouette, by Aquilo

After Leonard put on the song he went outside to get some air. It had been a surreal night so far. He'd called Mr. Wilson again and was informed that his phone was being traced. Too bad for the cops that it was a burner phone. They could triangulate his signal, but not to his specific address, especially once he removed the battery and sim card from the phone.

He wasn't surprised that Sara was out there, listening to his cast on her phone.

"It's okay, you don't have to talk, you don't have to say anything and you don't have to do anything, unless you want to," she said, approaching him slowly.

"You're so different," Leonard said. "I mean, you're so fearless. I wish I could be like you."

"You are," Sara said, stepping close to him. They're so close but still not touching. Swaying together in the warm breeze. Almost dancing.

"I wish I could say things to you," Leonard said, raising a hand to hover over her cheek before lowering it.

"You do," Sara said, so earnestly. She grabbed his hand and placed it over her heart.

"Everything's so strange," Leonard whispered, his fingers flexing against her shirt.

"Yeah," Sara agreed, her breath hitching at their nearness.

"Maybe we're just crazy," Leonard said, meeting her eyes.

"So be it," Sara said, rising on her toes and pressing her lips to his.

Leonard wrapped his free arm around her back, pulling Sara closer as she wound her arms around his neck. The kiss was clumsy, messy, all teeth and hard lips, but neither cared. They paused, panting for breath before coming together again in a much more satisfying kiss.

"So be it," Leonard whispered against her lips.

The End

[celestial-leaves]

This Is Our Land

2 o’clock AM, November 9th, 2016

               The lounge is silent; on the TV screen, the spokesperson is droning but no sound emerges from the speakers. It’s as if the entire world has been muted, there’s an irritating buzzing in his ears but when Maël lifts a finger to clear them there’s nothing there. He lets his hand fall back to his side and takes a breath, it catches on the way in but he forces it through, and turns his head to look around the room. Oscar is seated at the base of their raggedy armchair, scarily still, and eyes fixed on the monitor. The comforter he’d dragged from his room pools around him, the scarlet color painful to look at. Maël forces another breath and looks away, Nathan’s sudden flurry of motion catches his attention.

               “I need a cig,” is all the other boy says before he strides from the room, the outer door slamming closed behind him. The loud sound is jarring but while Maël jumps it doesn’t even draw a twitch from Oscar. Maël swallows and stands up, hands clenching, and unclenching restlessly, he shoves them into his pockets but it doesn’t help.

               “I-I think I’m going to make some hot chocolate; do you want any?”

               Oscar doesn’t react.

               “Oscar?” Maël tries again, taking a step forward. He hates how weird his voice sounds it’s all whiny and catches in his throat, like it has claws.

               “Don’t you have an exam tomorrow?” Oscar’s voice is low, unencumbered with any emotion. He doesn’t look away from the TV screen and Maël remembers suddenly that the Physics major can read lips.

               “I do,” Maël says, “do you want me to unmute the TV?” Oscar remains silent for a moment before he sighs and stands up, the TV screen flickers to black.

               “No,” Oscar says quietly. “I’m going to bed, don’t stay up too late.” His footsteps are heavy as he leaves the room, blanket trailing behind. Maël follows him with his gaze until he’s out of sight and then makes his way to the kitchen. The dishes in the sink aren’t appealing in the least, nor is the big pot of pasta that’s been left out on the stove. Mechanically he gets out the tupperware and puts the food away. The dishes he leaves for someone else, and instead reaches for the hot cocoa container. It’s empty, barely a spoonful of cocoa powder left at the bottom. The sudden unexpected urge to cuss is surprisingly strong, he doesn’t, instead he turns and throws the container as hard as he can. The part of him that was looking forward to the smash that it would make when it hit something, withers up and disappears when Nathan’s hand snaps out and catches it instead.

               “It’s on the list,” Nathan says, he flicks off the lid, tilts his head back, and brings the container up to his lips. Maël groans and looks away towards their white board, true enough in Oscar’s scratchy penmanship ‘Cocoa Powder’ has been written. Maël groans again.

               “Alex called, he needs a ride home,” Nathan says as he tosses the now empty container back to him. Maël fumbles the catch and the can skids off under the table. Grumbling, he ducks down after it and then rinses it off in the sink before placing it in their recycling bag. When he turns around again, Nathan is brewing up a cup of instant coffee. “Do you want to come?”

               Maël hesitates, his fingers tightening around the hem of his sweatshirt. While the thought of leaving campus for a while is appealing, he’s not sure it’s a good idea. “I have to study,” he says instead and is rewarded with Nathan’s patented expression of disbelief.

               “And throwing a cocoa can at the wall was going to help you study?” Nathan straitens up and continues, “Don’t kid yourself, no one is getting any studying done tonight. I on the other hand am looking at an hour long drive, there’s no way one cup of shitty coffee will be enough to keep me awake.” To further his point, he drains the cup, and pulls a disgusted face. “Beurk.”

               Maël smiles a bit, despite himself and nods. “Alright, I’ll tag along then.” Nathan nods his approval and pours another cup. Maël leaves Nathan to his energizing and heads to his room, his phone is charging on his bed, but the blinking yellow light tells him he has a lot of messages. He ignores it for now and ditches his shorts for a pair of sweatpants, he keeps the sweatshirt but doesn’t bother with a jacket, if all goes well he won’t have to leave the car. He does fish his wallet out of his backpack though, before securing his phone and heading back to the lounge. Nathan is waiting for him, an unlit cigarette spinning around his fingers. They make their way towards the door, mindful of not waking Oscar.

               Nathan’s car is parked outside, the Honda is getting a bit up there in the years and has the scars to prove it but it’s served them well since the group had been tossed together at the beginning of the semester. Maël clambered into the passenger seat and scrunched himself up, while Nathan fiddled with the controls. Once they’re on their way the car soon warms up, and he relaxes, pulling out his phone when it buzzes insistently.

               “Put some music on,” Nathan requests. Maël complies and turns on the radio, the first station that the search pulls up is spewing out comments from celebrants. Maël turns the radio off and fishes around for the phone jack instead. He then snags Nathan’s phone and plugs it in, scrolling through the apps until he can hit ‘play all’ on the song section.

               When ‘you will not be able to stay home’, fills up the car. Maël catches sight Nathan’s grin across the car and doesn’t need to be told to turn up the volume or to roll down his window. That done he slumps down in his seat, one hand drumming out the beat on the window sill, the other scrolling down the list of messages. The most recent is from Bianca dating ‘2:39 AM’, he keeps scrolling until he gets to a text from Pierre. His friend has only texted him three messages; Maël smiles as Pierre’s eloquence comes across, in a simple ‘What the Fuck?’, followed by ‘I am so so sorry’ and then ‘Don’t do anything stupid.’

               “What’s so funny?”

               “Pierre thinks I’m likely to do stupid things,” Maël answered, as he texts back. “He says he’s sorry.”

               Nathan snorts, “He’s not the one that should be apologizing.” Maël hums an agreement, he’s vaguely relieved that Pierre hasn’t answered his text, one of them at least should be able to get some sleep. The next person he checks the messages from is Louise, most of his sister’s messages are pre-results, vague commentaries then there’s a time gap with her latest message dating to half an hour ago;

‘Well that happened. I’m going over to Claire’s, Elliot said she’s pulled out the whiskey. Stay safe.’

Maël texts her back, he’s not worried though, Claire may rage a lot but she’d never drink while with child. None of his other siblings or cousins have texted him, but there’s a message from Pearl, and he hesitates to read it. Instead, he checks out Bianca’s. Maël isn’t really surprised when it comes across as a mixture of gibberish, and angry GIFs. The final text though makes his throat clench painfully, and he has too clear it before he can formulate an answer, as if that would help.

‘How’s your studying going?’

‘Not well. Surprisingly, Nathan’s playlist doesn’t make for good studying music.’

‘What’s playing?’

‘Tears and Rain. Is anyone else still awake?’

‘Mamma’s retired to her study, Papa’s out on the back porch with the dogs. Ombre misses you.’

‘I miss her too, give her a good scratch for me.’

The next message is a GIF of a pile of cute puppies, Maël smiles but doesn’t send a GIF back. Instead he instructs Bianca to get some sleep, and flicks back to Pearl’s message. Bianca’s reply is immediate though. ‘As if I could sleep’.

‘I know’ Maël types, ‘but if you think Mamma’s going to let you miss class, you’ve got another think coming.’

‘Shaddup, you’re awake too.’

‘I’m in College.’

‘So?’

‘And I’ll be going to bed soon.’

‘With James Blunt as your sound track?’

‘No, with Green day. I’ll talk to you later, okay?’

‘Kay… G’night Maël.’

‘Good Night, Sorellina.’

The only thing Pearl has to say though when he finally gets to her message is, ‘I love you.’ Maël feels lips quirk up but he’s not smiling. ‘Love you too, will I see you at 8 for bk, as planned?’ That done he sets his phone aside and looks out the window, they’ve left the city and are now cruising along towards Alex’s hometown. It’s peaceful for a while, as ‘Wake me up when September ends’ fades away to ‘How to save a life’. Sometime during his texting, Nathan had shut the windows and turned down the volume, it’s now nothing more than a quiet sound track. Maël leaned his head against the window and fighting the urge to close his eyes. It’s a battle that he loses.

When Maël comes too, it’s to the sound of Alex scrambling into the backseat, shoving his duffel bag in front of him. ‘Sorairo Days’ is playing. Maël straightened up, rubbing at an eye as he scooted his chair forward. “Hey, Alex.”

“G’morning, sorry man, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Alex replies, he flops forwards stretching out a fists which Maël sleepily bumps. “Guess who’s now disowned?” Alex asks, his voice way too chirper for the early hour. He continues before Maël can question him, “I already got Oscar’s permission but do you two mind if Ilian chills at the dorm with us for a bit?”

“You woke Oscar up?” Nathan sounds impressed, he backs them out of the driveway and then they’re off again. Maël doesn’t know what to say, so he keeps quiet.

“Yeah, he was pissed. Wanted to know why I wasn’t texting Maël, I told him that you were studying, and that Nathan was driving. I wouldn’t be able to live with it if Nat got into a crash, you know, so that’s what I told him, plus you never text and drive, do you Nathan?” Alex flopped back into his seat, readjusting his seatbelt, but a moment later he’s taping his fingers and his feet.

“Of course Ilian’s welcome to stay with us,” Maël says, and is awarded with a wide grin. “As long as we don’t have to drive back and fetch him.” Alex laughs and leans forwards again.

“So why are you here anyway, Maël? Don’t you have an exam in like,” he checked his watch, “8 hours?”

“It’s alright,” Maël replies, “it’s an Italian exam. The teacher might even cancel it.” He yawns and then turns his full attention on Alex. “How about you, don’t you have a paper due tomorrow?”

Alex deflates, eyes wide and guilty, “Um…maybe, probably, I wonder if I can get an extension? But I’ll probably be fine it’s only a small one, like seven pages. I’ll finish it tonight. More importantly, what’s everyone doing for thanksgiving?”  

“Don’t know yet, but you’re welcome to come over to mine.” Nathan offered, “just be quiet for a minute, I like this song.”

There’s instant silence as the familiar cords of ‘Einer gegen alle’ start playing. Maël lowers then raises his window questioningly, and in reply Nathan turns up the volume. Soon they’re cruising down the highway again, blaring music despite the cold wind that’s blowing into the car. Maël finds himself mouthing along, the words make no sense to him but they’re pretty. Alex is fluent in German and has no problems bleating out words, except that he can’t sing. The subsequent five songs are all in German, and Maël wonders if the shuffle disengaged or if Nathan just has that many German songs.

“I have two German playlists,” Nathan tells him when pressed. They’re approaching the city limits again, and so the volume has been obligingly turned down.

“And a Danish one!” Alex pipes up. “You know between the four of us it’s a wonder that we don’t start our own multi-linguistic club. I’ve got the German, Maël has the French and Italian, Nathan has the Japanese, and Oscar has the Spanish. We could totally form a detective’s club!”

“No.”

Maël leaves the categorical denial of their dreams to Nathan and instead finds himself laughing at Alex’s face. His fellow sophomore sighs, and informs them that they lack imagination, but he’s back to his usual self a moment later. Except, it’s not normal, Alex being excited about things is the usual but not like this, there’s something wrong and Maël finds that he really doesn’t want to think about it. They’ve all calmed down, the early hour catching up to them as Nathan pulls up to the front of the dorm. Maël stumbles out of the car, stretching towards the sky in an effort to loosen his muscles, it doesn’t really help. Alex does the same and then slings his duffel over a shoulder, leaving both hands to cradle Ilian’s carrier. To avoid waking Oscar up they make their pit stops on the first floor and it’s bordering on 5 o’clock by the time they stagger back into their apartment. Maël heads straight for his room, kicking off his shoes on the way and collapses on his bed.

His alarm doesn’t wake him up, nor does the morning sun streaming through the open blinds, not even someone knocking at his door. Maël wakes up because falling out of bed and landing on a hard floor, hurts, that and the sudden loss of his blanket brings the unwelcome sting of cold. He blinks blearily up at Oscar who’s standing above him, fully dressed, and glaring.

“Your girlfriend’s at the door, apparently you stood her up at breakfast,” Oscar informs him and leaves. Maël groans and sits up, holding his head. Alex sitting up on his own bed, laughs but saves his commentary for himself. It takes Maël another moment to register what Oscar said, and then he yelps, stumbling for the outer door. He jerks it open, Pearl’s not in the hallway, she’s not in the staircase either, and Maël doesn’t think about who he’s about to wake up when he hollers her name down the hallway.

“Yeah?”

The voice comes from behind him, Maël turns around wide-eyed.

“You called?” Pearl asks leaning towards him over the kitchen counter.

“You’re…” Maël says, his voice doesn’t come out right so he tries again. “Yeah, Oscar said you were at the door.”

“I was,” Pearl says, “And now I’m in the kitchen.” She tosses a teasing grin over her shoulder and flips her hair comically. Maël makes his way over, thoughts still to muddled to do anything other than stare, it doesn’t help that Pearl’s pretty. This morning she’s gone full out blue with a fluffy silk skirt and blue blouse. Maël has no doubt that it’s a political statement, just as much as her pink, white, purple, black, and blue hair tie is. “Oscar came and fetched me at the dining hall, he said that you all got back at an ungodly hour,” Pearl adds, providing the much needed explanation for her presence in the apartment compound.

“Morning Pearl, Nathan and Maël came and broke me out,” Alex says, sliding past them into the kitchen. “Wachya making?”

“Scrambled eggs, coffee, and toast,” Pearl replies, she finished whatever she was doing at the stove and turned around holding her arms open. “Oscar did mention something to that effect, c’mere you and I can be outcasts together.” Alex beams at the invitation and darts forward, sweeping Pearl into a swinging hug.

Pearl’s comment though sets off an alarm bell in Maël’s head. “Attends une minute, you said that Oscar met you at the cafeteria and then brought you back here?”

Pearl confirms this with a nod of her head as she passes him a plate and a cup of coffee. “Eat quickly, I want to make my 11 o’clock class.”

Maël complies, the dullness from sleep starting to wear off, still he’s not sure of the answers he’s come up with. He’s still thinking about it as he gets dressed and then walks to class with Alex and Pearl. Nathan had cussed at them when they’d tried to wake him so they’d made an executive decision to let him sleep. Alex leaves them at the Science Quad with a cheerful wave and a promise to meet up for lunch. Maël walks Pearl to her gender studies class, and then climbs another flight of stairs for his French class. It’s only, several hours later, when he’s sitting down to take his Italian exam that the answer, written in block letters across his exam paper, hits him square in the face.

(MISSING SOMETHING, LIKE THE ANSWER)

8 O’clock PM, November 9th 2016

                 Maël wants to laugh, he really does, a good deep laugh that would make his belly ache but he’d feel so much better after. He wants to cry, maybe scream and shout a bit for good measure. He does neither though. Instead he stiffens his posture, lifts his chin, and tightens his grip on the door.

               “Either you leave or I call Campo and they escort you to the nearest holding cell,” Maël says, he feels an internal flicker of pride that his voice doesn’t shake. But the man on the other side of the door isn’t impressed, nor intimidated, not one iota apparently. Standing at several heads taller than Maël, he merely glares down at him with his arms crossed.

               “I have a better idea for you, young man, why don’t you and your friends head to the library and hit some books while I have a chat with my son,” Alexandro Senior says. “I hear exams are hitting heavy this week.”

Maël doesn’t bother with words and just shakes his head, scrunching up his nose at the smell of alcohol. Alex’s face when he’d recognize Senior’s voice was enough to convince Maël that door duty is his post for the extended future. It’s clear though that Senior doesn’t agree, nor does Senior’s brother. He doesn’t know his name, but two of them is warrant enough to call Campo. However, there’s no way he can free a hand to make the phone call.

“Is this a bad time?”

Pearl, Maël decides, is a god send. He can’t see her over Senior and his brother but he’d recognize her voice anywhere.

“It’d better not be, I’m not climbing back down these stairs,” Oscar’s voice joins the mix and Maël grins.

“It’s not a bad time, these two gentlemen were just leaving,” Maël calls to them, rising slightly on his toes in an effort to appear taller. “Was practice that brutal, Oscar?”

“Practice is always brutal,” Oscar replies and then he’s standing next to Senior, only a head and a half shorter than him. “Excuse me.”

Senior looks like he’s about to comply, perhaps realizing the futility of his exercise but he doesn’t instead he makes an unarticulated sound of rage and strikes out. Maël still can’t see what’s going on but he does hear Pearl yelp, Oscar snarl, and then his view is clear. Senior is picking himself up from the ground, one hand to his bloody nose, looking thunderous. Pearl, no Paul is standing a few feet away from him, balanced on his toes and looking ready to knock him down again. Maël’s distracted by Oscar’s hand suddenly hitting him in the chest and he’s sent stumbling back, out of range of Senior’s brothers fist.

“Call Campo!” Oscar yells, and Maël scrambles to obey backing away from the fight and tugging out his phone. Fingers dialing a number in seconds.

“Bonsoir, Fratello!” Bianca’s voice chirps on the other end, and Maël finds himself unable to reply, unable to even hang up.

“Maël?” There’s confusion blossoming in Bianca’s voice now. “What’s wrong? Are you alright? Hang on, PAPAAAAA!” Her scream is enough to snap Maël out of it.

“SorrywrongnumbergottacallCampo,” Maël says and hangs up, this time he checks the number he’s typing.

“Campus Police, what is your exact location and nature of your emergency?”

“5th floor CAJ Complex! Um, I mean C. A. Johnson Dormitory Complex. There are two intruders’ kind of duking it out with my roommates right now, and they won’t leave they want to kidnap another of my roommates buthedoesn’twanttogowiththem!”

“There’s a squad car en route less than four minutes away. Take a deep breath. Can you give me an exact description of the situation without endangering yourself?”

“I’m sorry, Oscar just got slammed, yes I can give you a description. Paul and Oscar are fighting Alexandro Mullins Senior and his brother, I don’t know his name,” Maël describes, as he makes his way back to the door. He peers around it. Senior and Paul were still going at it, though it was mostly just Paul dodging and trying to make his way closer to their room. Oscar isn’t looking too good but he’s still on his feet, and trading barbs with Senior’s brother. Maël tells the responder so, and almost drops the phone when Oscar drops again.

“Hey, I’m going to put the phone on speaker and go help my friend, alright?” Maël doesn’t wait for Campo to reply, instead presses the speaker button, drops his phone on the couch, and charges at Senior’s brother. He doesn’t jump on him though, he knows better, instead Maël goes low and launches all of his weight at Senior’s brother’s kneecaps. It works like a well-oiled machine, and the larger man topples. Maël scrambles onto the man’s back, reaching for his arms and dragging them back in an effort to pin him. It’s not very effective, and the man is still struggling besides the grip Maël and Oscar have on him. There’s a loud thump from behind him, followed seconds later for a shout for everyone to freeze.

Maël looks over his shoulder and stares. Senior has also collapsed, though he’s on his back looking distinctly nauseous. Elian is standing over him, looking murderous, and holding a large book. Maël suspects that that is what felled Senior. The Campo Squadron has arrived.

In the end, despite his vehement protests, Campo leads Senior and his brother away. Maël flops down to the ground and sighs, relief making his muscles all shaky. Oscar groans and also lays down, he’s taken the worst of the beating with a blossoming shiner and a split lip. Paul makes his way over, looking just fine and smiles down at them. Maël grins back, even after a no doubt hard karate practice and getting into an uncalled for fight, his boyfriend is still pretty.

“I just showered,” Paul says letting out a put upon sigh, his hands resting on his hips. “I even rushed to get the best stall, now I have to shower again. Unfair.”

“At least you won’t have to get a sponge bath,” Elian says as he makes his way over, he’s carrying the first aid kit, and an officer follows behind.

“Too true, thanks for your help back there, Eli,” Paul replies, as he sits down, reaching up to redo his ponytail. Elian shrugs and it’s quiet for a bit, as the intern works on patching them up. A few bandaids on Paul, and an ankle wrap for Oscar settles the score. The officer clears them and they’re free to drag themselves back into their room. Maël helps Oscar limp over to the sofa and then relocates himself to an armchair. Paul tracks down Ilian and sits on the ground crooning to him softly.

“Shouldn’t someone go fetch Alex?” Oscar eventually asks.

“He’s not here,” Maël replies, “I sent him to find Nathan when those guys showed up.” There’s nothing to say after that, and Maël allows himself to relax as they wait. His phone bays a moment and effectively shatters the silence. Maël groans, and pats around for it only to remember that he dropped it on the sofa. He sits up properly, clicking his fingers at Oscar, the latter complies and tosses him his phone. It reads ‘three missed phone calls’, the latest phone a few seconds ago. Maël sighs and hits call back, dreading Bianca’s wrath, should she be the one that answers the phone again.

“Allo?”

“Salut, Papa,” Maël says, exhaling in ill hidden relief. “Sorry, about earlier I accidently dialed your number instead of Campo’s.” He ignores the curious sounds that both Paul and Oscar make.

“I see, is everything solved now?”

“Yeah, mostly. Alex says he’s been disowned but his Dad showed up looking for him, which wasn’t welcome. But Oscar and Paul held them off till Campo got here.”

“Them?”

“Senior and his brother. Is Bianca alright?”

“She’s fine, and Alex?’

“He’s…” Maël shrugs helplessly, even knowing that his dad can’t see him. “No, probably not. Nathan and I went and got him after the results were announced, he was already pretty messed up by then.”

“Physically?”

“Hunh? No, mentally like twice as hyper as usual. He was better this morning though, once we’d gotten some sleep. Oh, and I had my Italian exam today, the teacher didn’t cancel it.”

“And?”

“It was shitty, no one wanted to be in class but the teacher sent out an email reminding everyone that we had an exam. I passed it, but that’s only because I’m a native speaker, most likely.”

“How’re your other friends?”

“Eh, Paul hasn’t said anything but I can tell that he’s irritated. Pierre’s angry too, but he promised to call if he needed to rant. Oscar and Nathan, are okay I guess. I haven’t had the chance to talk to anyone else.” The conversation switches to less worrisome topics, and Maël is content to talk about his classes until the sound of a key in the lock catches his attention, he turns about in time to see Nathan and Alex stride in carrying bags.

“We got ice cream and cocoa!” Alex yells, and rushes into the kitchen.

“Ah, everyone is back so I’m going to hang up now. Say hi to Mamma and everyone for me, please?”

“Will do, stay safe Maël,” Robin answers.

“Oui, Papa,” Maël said and hung up.

[galysh]

This is our land

“This is Our Land”

2 o’clock AM, November 9th 2016

               The lounge is silent; on the TV screen the spokesperson is droning but no sound emerges from the speakers. It’s as if the entire world has been muted, there’s an irritating buzzing in his ears but when Maël lifts a finger to clear them there’s nothing there. He lets his hand fall back to his side and takes a breath, it catches on the way in but he forces it through, and turns his head to look around the room. Oscar is seated at the base of their raggedy armchair, scarily still, and eyes fixed on the monitor. The comforter he’d dragged from his room pools around him, the scarlet color painful to look at. Maël forces another breath and looks away, Nathan’s sudden flurry of motion catches his attention.

               “I need a cig,” is all the other boy says before he strides from the room, the outer door slamming closed behind him. The loud sound is jarring but while Maël jumps it doesn’t even draw a twitch from Oscar. Maël swallows and stands up, hands clenching, and unclenching restlessly, he shoves them into his pockets but it doesn’t help.

               “I-I think I’m going to make some hot chocolate; do you want any?”

               Oscar doesn’t react.

               “Oscar?” Maël tries again, taking a step forward. He hates how weird his voice sounds it’s all whiny and catches in his throat, like it has claws.

               “Don’t you have an exam tomorrow?” Oscar’s voice is low, unencumbered with any emotion. He doesn’t look away from the TV screen and Maël remembers suddenly that the Physics major can read lips.

               “I do,” Maël says, “do you want me to unmute the TV?” Oscar remains silent for a moment before he sighs and stands up, the TV screen flickers to black.

               “No,” Oscar says quietly. “I’m going to bed, don’t stay up too late.” His footsteps are heavy as he leaves the room, blanket trailing behind. Maël follows him with his gaze until he’s out of sight and then makes his way to the kitchen. The dishes in the sink aren’t appealing in the least, nor is the big pot of pasta that’s been left out on the stove. Mechanically he gets out the tupperware and puts the food away. The dishes he leaves for someone else, and instead reaches for the hot cocoa container. It’s empty, barely a spoonful of cocoa powder left at the bottom. The sudden unexpected urge to cuss is surprisingly strong, he doesn’t, instead he turns and throws the container as hard as he can. The part of him that was looking forward to the smash that it would make when it hit something, withers up and disappears when Nathan’s hand snaps out and catches it instead.

               “It’s on the list,” Nathan says, he flicks off the lid, tilts his head back, and brings the container up to his lips. Maël groans and looks away towards their white board, true enough in Oscar’s scratchy penmanship ‘Cocoa Powder’ has been written. Maël groans again.

               “Alex called, he needs a ride home,” Nathan says as he tosses the now empty container back to him. Maël fumbles the catch and the can skids off under the table. Grumbling, he ducks down after it and then rinses it off in the sink before placing it in their recycling bag. When he turns around again, Nathan is brewing up a cup of instant coffee. “Do you want to come?”

               Maël hesitates, his fingers tightening around the hem of his sweatshirt. While the thought of leaving campus for a while is appealing, he’s not sure it’s a good idea. “I have to study,” he says instead and is rewarded with Nathan’s patented expression of disbelief.

               “And throwing a cocoa can at the wall was going to help you study?” Nathan straitens up and continues, “Don’t kid yourself, no one is getting any studying done tonight. I on the other hand am looking at an hour long drive, there’s no way one cup of shitty coffee will be enough to keep me awake.” To further his point, he drains the cup, and pulls a disgusted face. “Beurk.”

               Maël smiles a bit, despite himself and nods. “Alright, I’ll tag along then.” Nathan nods his approval and pours another cup. Maël leaves Nathan to his energizing and heads to his room, his phone is charging on his bed, but the blinking yellow light tells him he has a lot of messages. He ignores it for now and ditches his shorts for a pair of sweatpants, he keeps the sweatshirt but doesn’t bother with a jacket, if all goes well he won’t have to leave the car. He does fish his wallet out of his backpack though, before securing his phone and heading back to the lounge. Nathan is waiting for him, an unlit cigarette spinning around his fingers. They make their way towards the door, mindful of not waking Oscar.

               Nathan’s car is parked outside, the Honda is getting a bit up there in the years and has the scars to prove it but it’s served them well since the group had been tossed together at the beginning of the semester. Maël clambered into the passenger seat and scrunched himself up, while Nathan fiddled with the controls. Once they’re on their way the car soon warms up, and he relaxes, pulling out his phone when it buzzes insistently.

               “Put some music on,” Nathan requests. Maël complies and turns on the radio, the first station that the search pulls up is spewing out comments from celebrants. Maël turns the radio off and fishes around for the phone jack instead. He then snags Nathan’s phone and plugs it in, scrolling through the apps until he can hit ‘play all’ on the song section.

               When ‘you will not be able to stay home’, fills up the car. Maël catches sight Nathan’s grin across the car and doesn’t need to be told to turn up the volume or to roll down his window. That done he slumps down in his seat, one hand drumming out the beat on the window sill, the other scrolling down the list of messages. The most recent is from Bianca dating ‘2:39 AM’, he keeps scrolling until he gets to a text from Pierre. His friend has only texted him three messages; Maël smiles as Pierre’s eloquence comes across, in a simple ‘What the Fuck?’, followed by ‘I am so so sorry’ and then ‘Don’t do anything stupid.’

               “What’s so funny?”

               “Pierre thinks I’m likely to do stupid things,” Maël answered, as he texts back. “He says he’s sorry.”

               Nathan snorts, “He’s not the one that should be apologizing.” Maël hums an agreement, he’s vaguely relieved that Pierre hasn’t answered his text, one of them at least should be able to get some sleep. The next person he checks the messages from is Louise, most of his sister’s messages are pre-results, vague commentaries then there’s a time gap with her latest message dating to half an hour ago;

‘Well that happened. I’m going over to Claire’s, Elliot said she’s pulled out the whiskey. Stay safe.’

Maël texts her back, he’s not worried though, Claire may rage a lot but she’d never drink while with child. None of his other siblings or cousins have texted him, but there’s a message from Pearl, and he hesitates to read it. Instead, he checks out Bianca’s. Maël isn’t really surprised when it comes across as a mixture of gibberish, and angry GIFs. The final text though makes his throat clench painfully, and he has too clear it before he can formulate an answer, as if that would help.

‘How’s your studying going?’

‘Not well. Surprisingly, Nathan’s playlist doesn’t make for good studying music.’

‘What’s playing?’

‘Tears and Rain. Is anyone else still awake?’

‘Mamma’s retired to her study, Papa’s out on the back porch with the dogs. Ombre misses you.’

‘I miss her too, give her a good scratch for me.’

The next message is a GIF of a pile of cute puppies, Maël smiles but doesn’t send a GIF back. Instead he instructs Bianca to get some sleep, and flicks back to Pearl’s message. Bianca’s reply is immediate though. ‘As if I could sleep’.

‘I know’ Maël types, ‘but if you think Mamma’s going to let you miss class, you’ve got another think coming.’

‘Shaddup, you’re awake too.’

‘I’m in College.’

‘So?’

‘And I’ll be going to bed soon.’

‘With James Blunt as your sound track?’

‘No, with Green day. I’ll talk to you later, okay?’

‘Kay… G’night Maël.’

‘Good Night, Sorellina.’

The only thing Pearl has to say though when he finally gets to her message is, ‘I love you.’ Maël feels lips quirk up but he’s not smiling. ‘Love you too, will I see you at 8 for bk, as planned?’ That done he sets his phone aside and looks out the window, they’ve left the city and are now cruising along towards Alex’s hometown. It’s peaceful for a while, as ‘Wake me up when September ends’ fades away to ‘How to save a life’. Sometime during his texting, Nathan had shut the windows and turned down the volume, it’s now nothing more than a quiet sound track. Maël leaned his head against the window and fighting the urge to close his eyes. It’s a battle that he loses.

When Maël comes too, it’s to the sound of Alex scrambling into the backseat, shoving his duffel bag in front of him. ‘Sorairo Days’ is playing. Maël straightened up, rubbing at an eye as he scooted his chair forward. “Hey, Alex.”

“G’morning, sorry man, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Alex replies, he flops forwards stretching out a fists which Maël sleepily bumps. “Guess who’s now disowned?” Alex asks, his voice way too chirper for the early hour. He continues before Maël can question him, “I already got Oscar’s permission but do you two mind if Ilian chills at the dorm with us for a bit?”

“You woke Oscar up?” Nathan sounds impressed, he backs them out of the driveway and then they’re off again. Maël doesn’t know what to say, so he keeps quiet.

“Yeah, he was pissed. Wanted to know why I wasn’t texting Maël, I told him that you were studying, and that Nathan was driving. I wouldn’t be able to live with it if Nat got into a crash, you know, so that’s what I told him, plus you never text and drive, do you Nathan?” Alex flopped back into his seat, readjusting his seatbelt, but a moment later he’s taping his fingers and his feet.

“Of course Ilian’s welcome to stay with us,” Maël says, and is awarded with a wide grin. “As long as we don’t have to drive back and fetch him.” Alex laughs and leans forwards again.

“So why are you here anyway, Maël? Don’t you have an exam in like,” he checked his watch, “8 hours?”

“It’s alright,” Maël replies, “it’s an Italian exam. The teacher might even cancel it.” He yawns and then turns his full attention on Alex. “How about you, don’t you have a paper due tomorrow?”

Alex deflates, eyes wide and guilty, “Um…maybe, probably, I wonder if I can get an extension? But I’ll be fine it’s only a small one, like seven pages. I’ll finish it tonight. More importantly, what’s everyone doing for thanksgiving?”  

“Don’t know yet, but you’re welcome to come over to mine.” Nathan offered, “just be quiet for a minute, I like this song.”

There’s instant silence as the familiar cords of ‘Einer gegen alle’ start playing. Maël lowers then raises his window questioningly, and in reply Nathan turns up the volume. Soon they’re cruising down the highway again, blaring music despite the cold wind that’s blowing into the car. Maël finds himself mouthing along, the words make no sense to him but they’re pretty. Alex is fluent in German and has no problems bleating out words, except that he can’t sing. The subsequent five songs are all in German, and Maël wonders if the shuffle disengaged or if Nathan just has that many German songs.

“I have two German playlists,” Nathan tells him when pressed. They’re approaching the city limits again, and so the volume has been obligingly turned down.

“And a Danish one!” Alex pipes up. “You know between the four of us it’s a wonder that we don’t start our own multi-linguistic club. I’ve got the German, Maël has the French and Italian, Nathan has the Japanese, and Oscar has the Spanish. We could totally form a detective’s club!”

“No.”

Maël leaves the categorical denial of their dreams to Nathan and instead finds himself laughing at Alex’s face. His fellow sophomore sighs, and informs them that they lack imagination, but he’s back to his usual self a moment later. Except, it’s not normal, Alex being excited about things is the usual but not like this, there’s something wrong and Maël finds that he really doesn’t want to think about it. They’ve all calmed down, the early hour catching up to them as Nathan pulls up to the front of the dorm. Maël stumbles out of the car, stretching towards the sky in an effort to loosen his muscles, it doesn’t really help. Alex does the same and then slings his duffel over a shoulder, leaving both hands to cradle Ilian’s carrier. To avoid waking Oscar up they make their pit stops on the first floor and it’s bordering on 6 o’clock by the time they stagger back into their apartment. Maël heads straight for his room, kicking off his shoes on the way and collapses on his bed.

His alarm doesn’t wake him up, nor does the morning sun streaming through the open blinds, not even someone knocking at his door. Maël wakes up because he falling out of bed and landing on a hard floor, hurts, that and the sudden loss of his blanket brings the unwelcome sting of cold. He blinks blearily up at Oscar who’s standing above him, fully dressed, and glaring.

“Your girlfriend’s at the door, apparently you stood her up at breakfast,” Oscar informs him and leaves. Maël groans and sits up, holding his head. Alex sitting up on his own bed, laughs but saves his commentary for himself. It takes Maël another moment to register what Oscar said, and then he yelps, stumbling for the outer door. He jerks it open, Pearl’s not in the hallway, she’s not in the staircase either, and Maël doesn’t think about who he’s about to wake up when he hollers her name down the hallway.

“Yeah?”

The voice comes from behind him, Maël turns around wide-eyed.

“You called?” Pearl asks leaning towards him over the kitchen counter.

“You’re…” Maël says, his voice doesn’t come out right so he tries again. “Yeah, Oscar said you were at the door.”

“I was,” Pearl says, “And now I’m in the kitchen.” She tosses a teasing grin over her shoulder and flips her hair comically. Maël makes his way over, thoughts still to muddled to do anything other than stare, it doesn’t help that Pearl’s pretty. This morning she’s gone full out blue with a fluffy silk skirt and blue blouse. Maël has no doubt that it’s a political statement, just as much as her pink, white, purple, black, and blue hair tie is. “Oscar came and fetched me at the dining hall, he said that you all got back at an ungodly hour,” Pearl adds, providing the much needed explanation for her presence in the apartment compound.

“Morning Pearl, Nathan and Maël came and broke me out,” Alex says, sliding past them into the kitchen. “Wachya making?”

“Scrambled eggs, coffee, and toast,” Pearl replies, she finished whatever she was doing at the stove and turned around holding her arms open. “Oscar did mention something to that effect, c’mere you and I can be outcasts together.” Alex beams at the invitation and darts forward, sweeping Pearl into a swinging hug.

Pearl’s comment though sets off an alarm bell in Maël’s head. “Attends une minute, you said that Oscar met you at the cafeteria and then brought you back here?”

Pearl confirms this with a nod of her head as she passes him a plate and a cup of coffee. “Eat quickly, I want to make my 11 o’clock class.”

Maël complies, the dullness from sleep starting to wear off, still he’s not sure of the answers he’s come up with. He’s still thinking about it as he gets dressed and then walks to class with Alex and Pearl. Nathan had cussed at them when they’d tried to wake him so they’d made an executive decision to let him sleep. Alex leaves them at the Science Quad with a cheerful wave and a promise to meet up for lunch. Maël walks Pearl to her gender studies class, and then climbs another flight of stairs for his French class. It’s only, several hours later, when he’s sitting down to take his Italian exam that the answer, written in block letters across his exam paper, hits him square in the face.

 8 O’clock PM, November 9th 2016

                 Maël wants to laugh, he really does, a good deep laugh that would make his belly ache but he’d feel so much better after. He wants to cry, maybe scream and shout a bit for good measure. He does neither though. Instead he stiffens his posture, lifts his chin, and tightens his grip on the door.

               “Either you leave or I call Campo and they escort you to the nearest holding cell,” Maël says, he feels an internal flicker of pride that his voice doesn’t shake. But the man on the other side of the door isn’t impressed, nor intimidated, not one iota apparently. Standing at several heads taller than Maël, he merely glares down at him with his arms crossed.

               “I have a better idea for you, young man, why don’t you and your friends head to the library and hit some books while I have a chat with my son,” Alexandro Senior says. “I hear exams are hitting heavy this week.”

Maël doesn’t bother with words and just shakes his head, scrunching up his nose at the smell of alcohol. Alex’s face when he’d recognize Senior’s voice was enough to convince Maël that door duty is his post for the extended future. It’s clear though that Senior doesn’t agree, nor does Senior’s brother. He doesn’t know his name, but two of them is warrant enough to call Campo. However, there’s no way he can free a hand to make the phone call.

“Is this a bad time?”

Pearl, Maël decides, is a god send. He can’t see her over Senior and his brother but he’d recognize her voice anywhere.

“It’d better not be, I’m not climbing back down these stairs,” Oscar’s voice joins the mix and Maël grins.

“It’s not a bad time, these two gentlemen were just leaving,” Maël calls to them, rising slightly on his toes in an effort to appear taller. “Was practice that brutal, Oscar?”

“Practice is always brutal,” Oscar replies and then he’s standing next to Senior, only a head and a half shorter than him. “Excuse me.”

Senior looks like he’s about to comply, perhaps realizing the futility of his exercise but he doesn’t instead he makes an unarticulated sound of rage and strikes out. Maël still can’t see what’s going on but he does hear Pearl yelp, Oscar snarl, and then his view is clear. Senior is picking himself up from the ground, one hand to his bloody nose, looking thunderous. Pearl, no Paul is standing a few feet away from him, balanced on his toes and looking ready to knock him down again. Maël’s distracted by Oscar’s hand suddenly hitting him in the chest and he’s sent stumbling back, out of range of Senior’s brothers fist.

“Call Campo!” Oscar yells, and Maël scrambles to obey backing away from the fight and tugging out his phone. Fingers dialing a number in seconds.

“Bonsoir, Fratello!” Bianca’s voice chirps on the other end, and Maël finds himself unable to reply, unable to even hang up.

“Maël?” There’s confusion blossoming in Bianca’s voice now. “What’s wrong? Are you alright? Hang on, PAPAAAAA!” Her scream is enough to snap Maël out of it.

“SorrywrongnumbergottacallCampo,” Maël says and hangs up, this time he checks the number he’s typing.

“Campus Police, what is your exact location and nature of your emergency?”

“5th floor CAJ Complex! Um, I mean C. A. Johnson Dormitory Complex. There are two intruders’ kind of duking it out with my roommates right now, and they won’t leave they want to kidnap another of my roommates buthedoesn’twanttogowiththem!”

“There’s a squad car en route less than four minutes away. Take a deep breath. Can you give me an exact description of the situation without endangering yourself?”

“I’m sorry, Oscar just got slammed, yes I can give you a description. Paul and Oscar are fighting Alexandro Mullins Senior and his brother, I don’t know his name,” Maël describes, as he makes his way back to the door. He peers around it. Senior and Paul were still going at it, though it was mostly just Paul dodging and trying to make his way closer to their room. Oscar isn’t looking too good but he’s still on his feet, and trading barbs with Senior’s brother. Maël tells the responder so, and almost drops the phone when Oscar drops again.

“Hey, I’m going to put the phone on speaker and go help my friend, alright?” Maël doesn’t wait for Campo to reply, instead presses the speaker button, drops his phone on the couch, and charges at Senior’s brother. He doesn’t jump on him though, he knows better, instead Maël goes low and launches all of his weight at Senior’s brother’s kneecaps. It works like a well-oiled machine, and the larger man topples. Maël scrambles onto the man’s back, reaching for his arms and dragging them back in an effort to pin him. It’s not very effective, and the man is still struggling besides the grip Maël and Oscar have on him. There’s a loud thump from behind him, followed seconds later for a shout for everyone to freeze.

Maël looks over his shoulder and stares. Senior has also collapsed, though he’s on his back looking distinctly nauseous. Elian is standing over him, looking murderous, and holding a large book. Maël suspects that that is what felled Senior. The Campo Squadron has arrived.

In the end, despite his vehement protests, Campo leads Senior and his brother away. Maël flops down to the ground and sighs, relief making his muscles all shaky. Oscar groans and also lays down, he’s taken the worst of the beating with a blossoming shiner and a split lip. Paul makes his way over, looking just fine and smiles down at them. Maël grins back, even after a no doubt hard karate practice and getting into an uncalled for fight, his boyfriend is still pretty.

“I just showered,” Paul says letting out a put upon sigh, his hands resting on his hips. “I even rushed to get the best stall, now I have to shower again. Unfair.”

“At least you won’t have to get a sponge bath,” Elian says as he makes his way over, he’s carrying the first aid kit, and an officer follows behind.

“Too true, thanks for your help back there, Eli,” Paul replies, as he sits down, reaching up to redo his ponytail. Elian shrugs and it’s quiet for a bit, as the intern works on patching them up. A few bandaids on Paul, and an ankle wrap for Oscar settles the score. The officer clears them and they’re free to drag themselves back into their room. Maël helps Oscar limp over to the sofa and then relocates himself to an armchair. Paul tracks down Ilian and sits on the ground crooning to him softly.

“Shouldn’t someone go fetch Alex?” Oscar eventually asks.

“He’s not there,” Maël replies, “I sent him to find Nathan when those guys showed up.” There’s nothing to say after that, and Maël allows himself to relax as they wait. His phone bays a moment and effectively shatters the silence. Maël groans, and pats around for it only to remember that he dropped it on the sofa. He sits up properly, clicking his fingers at Oscar, the latter complies and tosses him his phone. It reads ‘three missed phone calls’, the latest phone a few seconds ago. Maël sighs and hits call back, dreading Bianca’s wrath, should she be the one that answers the phone again.

“Allo?”

“Salut, Papa,” Maël says, exhaling in ill hidden relief. “Sorry, about earlier I accidently dialed your number instead of Campo’s.” He ignores the curious sounds that both Paul and Oscar make.

“I see, is everything solved now?”

“Yeah, mostly. Alex says he’s been disowned but his Dad showed up looking for him, which wasn’t welcome. But Oscar and Paul held them off till Campo got here.”

“Them?”

“Senior and his brother. Is Bianca alright?”

“She’s fine, and Alex?’

“He’s…” Maël shrugs helplessly, even knowing that his dad can’t see him. “No, probably not. Nathan and I went and got him after the results were announced, he was already pretty messed up by then.”

“Physically?”

“Hunh? No, mentally like twice as hyper as usual. He was better this morning though, once we’d gotten some sleep. Oh, and I had my Italian exam today, the teacher didn’t cancel it.”

“And?”

“It was shitty, no one wanted to be in class but the teacher sent out an email reminding everyone that we had an exam. I passed it, but that’s only because I’m a native speaker, most likely.”

“How’re your other friends?”

“Eh, Paul hasn’t said anything but I can tell that he’s irritated. Pierre’s angry too, but he promised to call if he needed to rant. Oscar and Nathan, are okay I guess. I haven’t had the chance to talk to anyone else.” The conversation switches to less worrisome topics, and Maël is content to talk about his classes until the sound of a key in the lock catches his attention, he turns about in time to see Nathan and Alex stride in carrying bags.

“We got ice cream and cocoa!” Alex yells, and rushes into the kitchen.

“Ah, everyone is back so I’m going to hang up now. Say hi to Mamma and everyone for me, please?”

“Will do, stay safe Maël,” Robin answers.

“Oui, Papa,” Maël said and hung up.