#I was just thinking about how pens games are the only ones I’ll keep watching when they’re down bad

[yarrummal]

As someone who watches penguins games solely when Tristan Jarry is playing i am having the time of my life tonight

[asunflowerana]

eye candy — Sakusa Kiyoomi

summary: only you have kiyoomi's heart. and he'll make sure every single one knows that.

It's lunch break, and Kiyoomi peacefully savors his beef stew, his cousin making him company as usual, sitting beside him at the table far from the noisy students. Among the cafeteria, comments about the next volleyball match can be heard, especially with the semifinals of the spring tournament qualifiers, wondering if the team’s star will keep up with his performance or fail to give the school another victory.

What does he think about their opinion? 

Well, actually, he just doesn't care. 

Sakusa doesn’t play to get fan’s approval or popularity: he plays because he enjoys what he does. Being noticed is just an effect of his efforts to become a professional someday, and even though the spotlight brings some benefits, he wouldn’t mind if his whole fanclub disappeared suddenly. Most of their support is superficial and sham, too shallow for his liking. 

Who truly matters to Omi is those who have always been there for him, way before his rise. Like you, for example. 

His favorite fan.

He cares for you so, so much, in a way he never imagined he could do it. It’s strange, now thinking of it, how someone so skeptical about love before now does anything possible to show you how much he appreciates your existence, and how grateful he is for being yours, and for having the honor of calling you his. 

If it depends on Sakusa, this will remain for the rest of his life.

Motoya’s a front row spectator of your relationship, being there since the moment you and his cousin first interacted with each other, you politely asking to borrow one of his pens in History class. Imagine the blonde’s shock when he saw Omi not cleaning the pen after you’ve returned.

He was the first one to hear about the brunette's feelings, the one who helped him pick the first date place, the flowers, the gifts, even the dorky letters Omi sent to your address, wanting to be different from the usual texting-guys. If there’s one person in the world who knows how crazy in love Sakusa Kiyoomi is for you, it’s Motoya. He isn’t bothered at all, having a lot of fun every time he watches his cousin getting all doki doki whenever you’re around.

And how protective he gets when you’re not. 

“Sakusa.” A girl suddenly approaches their table, her sultry but invasive voice interrupting the chewing of both cousins. If Motoya’s not mistaken, this girl is Tai, one of Class D students. He secretly grimaces, already predicting the reason she came to talk to Omi, like all the other girls that has been crushing on his cousin. 

Poor girl.

Kiyoomi doesn’t even look up from his food, preparing a spoon full of vegetables. “Yes?”

“Um-” She fidgets a little with the disinterest in his tone, but a charming smile appears on her face nonetheless. Oh, she’s trying hard. “I just came to wish you a good game this Friday. I’ll be cheering for you on the stands.”

“Hmmm.” He doesn’t even hide his boredom, contemplating the pleasing taste of the seasoned stew. He hopes the staff used gloves while preparing it this time. “Didn’t know you were part of the cheer’s team.” 

“N-no!” She chuckles a little too loud, trying to hide her nervousness. “I’m not part of the team. I just… I wanted to cheer just for you, you know? Give you some boost for the game.”

Unfortunately for her, this time he raises his gaze until it finds her anxious eyes, which averts when they notice the unpleasant frown on his face. “Boost? Do you think I need your cheers to play well?”

“N-not at all. But, you know, having an eye candy could help you play even better.”

Motoya snorts loudly, not being able to hold how impressed he is by the girl’s dumb confidence. Is she that clueless? Sakusa has been dating you for almost six months, there’s no way she doesn’t know by now that he’s taken. He watches as his cousin stares at her for a few uncomfortable seconds, his cold glare making even him uncomfortable. Thank goodness, he is not the target this time.

“I don’t see any eye candy here.” Short and frank, Omi answers her move.

Tai looks clearly dejected, but she took the hint that insisting wouldn’t do any good to her side. To lessen the embarrassing moment, she nods at him, pretending his words didn’t have an effect on her heart, and she offers him a brief goodbye before rushing away from their table, shoulders slowly falling with shame.

“Oof, that one hurted.” Motoya breaks the silence, his eyes widening as he checks his wristwatch. “Twenty-five seconds! It’s your new ditch record, Omi-kun.”

Sakusa rolls his eyes at his comment, having another spoon of his stew “She's been trying that for weeks. She even knows ______.”

“Well, I think she got the message now.” The blonde chuckles, eyes twinkling as he spots you entering the cafeteria right after his comment. He raises his left hand and waves at you with a smile, succeeding in catching your attention.. “And look who’s coming to the party.”

From his cousin's excited tone, Omi has a pretty good guess on who he’s referring to, and he instinctively searches through the crow to check it out. It’s amazing how Omi’s semblance lights up when he sees you. The transformation is visible, and if he could, Motoya would totally take a picture of his cousin’s starstruck face right now.

“Hey guys!” You greet them as soon as you get closer, and your boyfriend immediately takes a chair from the closest table and arranges beside him for you to sit on. Motoya holds back a laugh, and you thank him with a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Omi.”

Hearts could come out of Sakusa’s eyes.

“You’re so beautiful today.” Is the first thing that comes out of his mouth, making you giggle in that sweet way that makes his heart flutter every single time.

“Okay lover, you can go back to eat, she won’t go anywhere.” His cousin cracks a joke, but the brunette doesn’t even pay attention to his words, choosing to focus on you instead.

The displays of affection don’t stop, and he doesn’t even notice how sappy (but sweet) he’s being with you. He holds your hand on top of the table, absently stroking your skin with his thumb and occasionally kissing the back of it; he nuzzles your head when you cuddle his arm, loving to smell the scent of your shampoo; he looks at you intently as you speak about your last class, paying attention to every word that comes out of your pretty mouth like it’s the most important speech he’s ever heard.

Motoya doesn’t know if he looks the other way in disgust, or if he just smiles, happy that his cousin has finally found someone special for him. Or if he takes some pictures of sweet Omi, which would be a good opportunity to make fun of him later.

“Okay guys, I’ll catch up with you later.” The blonde announces, figuring you’d better have your privacy; being the third wheel can be really tiring sometimes.“ Omi, see you at the warm-up. Enjoy your time together, lovebirds.” The blonde leaves, leaving the two of you more comfortable getting closer to each other. Omi kisses your cheek sweetly before caressing it with his palm.

“Will you watch the match today?” He questions, loving the idea of spotting your beautiful self in the middle of the game. 

The question sounds a little strange to your ears, because you almost never lose his games. But you choose to answer regardless, caressing his scalp full of curly locks, to his delight. “Yes, of course I’ll be there.”

“Good.” A small smile of his grows with your touch. “I need my eye candy.”

© asunflowerana 2024 — all rights reserved.

[matsunoluvr]

୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ love and deepspace men and their random habits

warnings: none!!

characters: rayafel, xavier, zayne, sylus

link to master list here!

author’s note: feeling like a short and sweet one today, sometimes writing more than i want can take the fun out of writing so i’ll stick true to myself this time 🗣️

more below the cut! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

he like, drums his fingers a lot. you know like that rhythmic tapping on desks?

rafayel enjoys moving around his fingers and stimulating his brain in little ways whilst he’s waiting for some paint to dry to paint another layer or when waiting for you to finish an activity.

he also picks at things, paint on the wall or at scabs (bad habit, you tell him but he never stops) - he complains and says it doesn’t hurt when you bandage it up

rafayel hates growing out his fingernails but he doesn’t bite them, he tends to pick them until they peel shorter then clip them neat with nail clippers

how to combat both his picking habit and nail peeling at the same time? slap on some nail polish, he gets to peel to his hearts content and look amazing at the same time!

“Cutie, come here. I peeled off all my nail polish, can you redo it?”

i feel like in game xavier already blinks quite a lot more than all the LIs, but i can see him also doing those like, long hard reset blinks

he’ll blink loads at once then do this longer blink and then be fine, i can just see him doing this

maybe it’s because his hair looks like it’d get in and irritate his eyes lolol

when you and him get plushies he keeps the ones he keeps on his bed, i feel like he’s usually minimalistic when designing his house but his bed??

it’s like a plushie fortress, when you visit you could literally drown in them

“I like sleep, and I like you. It’s the best of both worlds, want to join me?”

zayne is the type of person to ACTUALLY rub his temples, like what person actually does that? zayne of course.

he also subconsciously clicks pens a lot, not loud and at a high frequency - but if you pay attention to his hands you’ll notice he gently clicks and then un-clicks the pen when in deep thought

he definitely does this more when he’s stressed, the feeling of the pen popping out against his thumb is therapeutic

zayne keeps around fake plants and a watering can because he somehow found a sick sense of amusement watching you water them every time you came to his office.

“Why am I smiling? No reason.”

he genuinely rubs his hands together and it makes sylus look like a fly, he just looks so sinister and mischievous when he does it

if you ask him why he rubs his hands together he just shrugs his shoulders

“Just habit, sweetheart.”

really it’s because he has sweaty palms LMAOO and he’s an old man, of course he’s gonna do old man things

i feel like sylus likes to chew on things, imagine one time you catch him clenching his jaw and decide to give him some gum

it’s not like he doesn’t know what gum is he just never really though about buying some

after that you find stacks of gum in his draws and he’s always chewing a piece, the only thing he dislikes is discarding gum.

AN; silly silly men doing silly silly things, i didn’t think too much about these just slurred random ideas and wrote them down LMAO

[wosoamazing]

Injuries, Confrontations and Apologies

Summary: Your Ma gets hurt but pretends she is fine and ends up in hospital.

Warnings: Concussions, Vomiting, Hospitals, Angst I guess

A/N: This was meant to be a soft comfort fic but somehow it turned into this – I mean I’m not mad. Hopefully you like it.

Last Saturday a bee stung you, it made you feel icky and you had to go to the hospital. The doctors at the hospital gave your Mum’s these weird pen things. The doctors taught your Mum’s how to use them, as well as Steph and Sam for just encase. You were upset about your trip to the hospital, as it meant you had to miss the game but you get to go to the game this week.

You slept almost the whole bus ride, much to everyone’s delight, today was an important game, so with you sleeping it meant everyone could focus on the game. When you did wake up there was only 10 more minutes of the trip left, you decided to go walk down and sit next to Steph, once she realised you were trying to climb into the seat next to her she helped you up, you didn’t make any noise though, you just sat there as you took in the world around you.

In the locker room you sat in your Ma’s cubby as you ate your snacks, everyone kept looking over to you and whispering to your Mum’s that you looked extra cute today.

You were sitting on Leah’s lap, well more so her good leg as you watched the game from the bench, there was around 20 minutes of game time left when your Mum doubled over before she started losing her stomach contents on the pitch.

“Weah,” you said

“mmm” she hummed to let you know she was listening “Ma sick” you informed her pointing “What do you mean?” she asked clearly not looking at the pitch.

“I think if you stopped having a nap and looked at the pitch you would see what she means” Beth joked.

“Oh shit,” Leah said as she looked at the pitch before looking over to Beth and Viv, who just made funny faces you didn’t understand.

“We see Ma? See if okay?” You asked as the medics took her off the pitch.

 “Sure munchkin,” Leah put you down, stood up and was reaching to pick you up, before she was interrupted by Beth “Leah, you can’t carry her yet, it's too risky,” “I’ll be fine beth,”

“No Leah, Beth is right, it isn’t safe, or good for you, we will come with you” Viv said in a sterner tone. Leah huffed as Beth picked you up, before the three women took you to see your Ma.

When you arrived in the medical room your Ma was laying on one of the beds with her eyes closed.

“What happened?” Leah asked without warning, slightly startling your Ma.

“I started feeling a little dizzy and then next thing I knew I was throwing up” she replied.

“So, what you actually mean is that when you got hit in the head and feel backwards onto the pitch hitting your head again, you actually did feel it and really should’ve gone off then, but you wanted to keep playing so you risked your own health” Viv said as though your Ma was in trouble.

You stayed with your Ma until the game finished, you kept yourself entertained with a glove that Beth blew up.

____

When you got home your Mum told you to go play in your playroom for a bit, which you did, she then came in to talk to you. “Ma isn’t feeling too well, but you can see her if you want,” “O-tay, I go now?” “Yeah, you can, but you have to make sure to keep the lights off and be very quiet, and try not to move much, okay?” “O-tay,” you toddled down the hall and into your Mum’s room to see your Ma, while your Mum put some washing on.

“Ma,” you whispered as you walked up her side of the bed, her eyes slowly opened and she did some slow blinks, before she spoke.

“No Y/N, go away,” she said harshly, you quickly spun around as tears started rolling down your cheeks and ran out of the room, crashing into your Mum’s legs as your eyes were full of water and you couldn’t see.

“What’s wrong?” “M-Ma, said go way,” “Oh baby, I’m sorry,” your Mum said as she wiped some of your tears away, but as soon as she could wipe the old ones away new ones replaced them “How bout I put you on the couch and you can watch some frozen while I speak to your Ma.” You perked up at the idea of frozen and quickly nodded your head, your Mum put you down on the sofa and turned frozen on before she quickly filled one of your sippy cups with water and gave it to you. “I’ll be back okay,” you just nodded your head not really listening to her anymore because frozen was playing.

“Why did you tell Y/N to go away, you really upset her,” your Mum questioned your Ma.

“I feel like shit Cait, and I don’t want Y/N to, I don’t know” she huffed.

“I know you feel like shit, but it’s partly your fault, and it doesn’t give you the right to push everyone away who is just trying to help you and it especially doesn’t give you the right to get mad at your daughter and tell her to go away when all she was trying to do was help, I’m going to take y/n to the park, I’ll will be back in a bit, if you need anything please call me, I will come back and help, anything at all, I promise, but Beth and Viv have offered to take her to the park so I’m going to walk her around there,” before your Ma could say anything your Mum had walked out of their bedroom door.

____

“Katie, Babe, I just came back to check everything is alright, Y/N is still at the park with Beth and Viv” Caitlin said as she walked through the door, there was no response, “Katie, Babe,” the house was oddly silent, so she walked further through the house. “Shit, Katie,” Caitlin exclaimed as she rounded the corner to find Katie passed out in the middle of the floor, “Katie, babe, wake up” she shook Katie to wake her up.

“What, oh God,” Katie said as she woke up, she quickly got up off the floor and ran to the toilet before hunching over it, emptying the remains of her stomach’s contents.

“Why didn’t you call? You shouldn’t have gotten up and walked around,” Caitlin wondered what the point in asking that question was. Of course she didn’t call, she doesn’t ask for help and constantly pushes help away when she is offered it.

“Because you were mad,” Katie replied through gags. Shit she thought to herself. Was this her fault?

Katie stopped throwing up but soon passed out again, Caitlin quickly grabbed her phone and called Leah, in which Kim answered.

“Kim, Leah, I need your help. I’ve fucked up but that can be explained later, Katie needs to go to the hospital because I found her passed out and when I woke her up, she ran to the toilet and threw up heaps before she passed out again, but she isn’t going to listen to me, please help.” Caitlin stopped talking while her captains must’ve been talking, “Okay thank-you, I’ll go unlock the door, we’re just in our bathroom. Beth and Viv have Y/N.”

____

Thankfully the girls had been directed to a private waiting room, meaning they didn’t have to worry about fans. 

As Beth and Viv walked into the room Leah and Kim looked at them in confusion, “We called Steph, she called Sam, Y/N is staying at Sam and Kristie’s, we told her it’s just a last-minute sleepover type thing. Steph is on her way here now.” Kim and Leah nodded with slight relief, hoping Steph would be able to talk to Caitlin, and maybe calm her down. She had been pacing the length of the room, wiping away her tears as they fell since they arrived.

Steph arrived and looked at the four women before her gaze moved over to Caitlin, she cautiously approached her and gently put a hand on her shoulder as she softly said, “Hey Cait, can you sit down for me,” Caitlin looked up at her and just about broke, almost collapsing in the chair behind her.

“I’m so stupid, this is all my fault” she blurted out.

“This isn’t your fault, this is her fault, she is the one that played with a concussion and made it worse, she is the one that didn’t ask for help when you told her too,” Steph said as she put her arm around her shoulder and rubbed her hand up and down her arm, trying to comfort her.

“Yeah, but I left her alone, I left her alone after I got mad at her, I left the person who doesn’t take help let alone ask for it alone, with instructions to call the person who just got mad at her for help, what was I thinking she would’ve never called for help anyway let alone after I just got mad at her. I, I can’t believe I was so dumb to think that, I literally left her to fend for herself, what if she had hit her head on something on the way down, she could’ve died, I could’ve killed her, oh god, I can’t believe I just did that, I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have left her alone,” She blurted out, she leant into Steph’s side before continuing, “I was, I was,” she stammered before taking a few deep breaths as she suddenly felt sick “I’m going to be sick” Steph quickly reacted and thankfully as they were in a hospital there was just about sick bags on all the walls, in little dispensers. Steph rubbed her back as she lost some of her stomach contents, before Beth handed her a bottle of water which she took a small sip from. “Can you please lie down for me?” Steph asked, concerned for her friend, Caitlin did as she said and rested her head in Steph’s lap, falling asleep.

_____

Viv was in Katie’s room as she woke up, sitting on a chair at the side of the bed, she started to speak before Katie could. “I’m really disappointed in you, you really need to learn to let people help you, it’s not weak, Caitlin is literally out there in an absolute state, she literally made herself sick because she feels like such a crap person for getting mad at you and leaving you, when in reality she did nothing wrong, she left you with strict instructions to call for help. You do realise if she hadn’t come back when she did we could be in a very different situation. You might not even be here. In all honesty McCabe it’s hard when we try and help you and all you do is push us away, so I can’t even imagine what it is like for Caitlin, I get it you’re mad at the world in these situations, I’ve been there we all have, but you can’t push people away, especially the people in your life who love you the most, Caitlin absolutely adores you and for the most part you two have a great relationship but currently she is out there in shambles because she offers and offers when you need help and you don’t take, I don’t understand it.”

Katie couldn’t reply to that, Viv was right, there was nothing to do or say, other than to apologise to Caitlin who wasn’t there.

After quite a lot of awkward silence Katie spoke “Where’s Y/N?” “She is having a fun sleepover at Kristie’s and Sam’s, that’s all she knows.”

_____

Caitlin walked in hesitantly, her hair was a mess, her cheeks were tearstained, she had big bags under her eyes. Katie started crying, knowing it was her fault her girlfriend was looking this bad. Caitlin walked over to where the chair was sitting next to Katie’s bed, she sat down in it as she took Katie’s hands in hers before taking a deep breath. 

“Katie, I’m sorry I left you alone, I didn’t know it was this bad, if I did I wouldn’t have ever left you alone, no matter how angry I was. But this is why you need to communicate with people, with me Babe. It’s dangerous when you don’t tell us how you are feeling. You could’ve died.” she sighed before continuing “I just don't understand why you won't accept help, needing help isn't a weakness it’s normal. I love you, I want to help you, try and help you feel slightly better. I’m not going to judge you or complain or tell you that you’re overreacting. I just want you to let people help you, at least let me help you, please” she kissed Katie’s hands and let them go. Katie sat up shifting forward in the bed, before she looked longingly up at Caitlin, who realised this was Katie asking for her help, even though she wasn’t using her words, it was a start. Caitlin climbed onto the bed and situated herself behind Katie, placing her legs either side of her before pulling her in towards her, Katie rested her head back to rest in the crock of Caitlin’s neck.

“I’m sorry Cait, I love you,” was all that Katie whispered in her ears before her eyes fluttered shut.

Caitlin awoke to the sound of gagging, she quickly grabbed the sick bowl and placed it in front of Katie before helping her to sit up slightly, Caitlin rubbed her back, as she dry heaved.

“Cait, help” Katie managed to say through gags, she sounded as though she was in tears, Caitlin pressed the call button, “I know babe, it’s not nice, but I’m here, I’ve got you, you’ve got this, you’re going to be okay,” Katie stopped and collapsed back into Caitlin, as they nurse walked in, she spoke to Katie, however her words were more directed too Caitlin “I’ll give you some anti-nausea medication,” she said, before she started sifting through draws, once she found it she put it into Katie’s IV and said, “hopefully that helps but if it doesn’t let us know and we will try and figure something else out.”

“Thank you,” Caitlin said as she smiled at the nurse who was walking out of the room. The pair very quickly fell asleep again, their day had been hectic to say the least, leaving the both of them exhausted. 

It was the third time that night that Katie had woken up dry heaving, the second time it happened she was sent for another MRI to check she didn’t have a brain bleed or a clot, it came back clear, so they gave her antihistamines to see if they did anything, but they apparently didn’t. “Cait, please” Katie cried out.

“I know babe, I wish it would stop too, I wish I could make it stop, but I’m here and I’ll stay here, I love you, it’s okay, I’ve got you, you’re doing great babe,” Caitlin said trying to reassure her girlfriend as she continued to dry heave. Caitlin eventually pressed the Nurse’s call button again as Katie hadn’t stopped, after consulting with a few doctors and specialists they decided to give Katie more anti-nausea medicine even though she had had the maximum amount, thankfully they did the trick and Katie stopped, allowing the pair to sleep through the rest of the night.

_____

You sat on the floor of the living room in your house playing with your toys, as Steph sat on the couch, watching over you, when you heard a familiar car engine pull into the driveway, a few moments later you heard Keys in the door unlocking it as Steph said “That’s your Mum and Ma,”.

As the door opened you tensed up, not knowing what your Ma might say to you, you saw your Ma standing next to your Mum and you ran upstairs into your room.

Your Mum and Steph helped your Ma into her room and got her all sorted before Steph left, telling them to call her if they needed anything. Your Mum told your Ma she was just going to check on you quickly and then she would be back.

Your Mum opened your door and saw your sobbing body splayed out on your bed, she picked you up. You tried to fight her hold but she just tightened her grip causing you to give in.

“Ma doesn’t want me,” you sadly say.

 “Oh Monkey, that’s not true, your Ma was feeling very icky and that made her mad,” she said wiping the hair out of your face.

“Like it always does?” you question, your Ma had never been so mad when she was icky that she made you go away.

“Yeah but extra mad. But we have talked and she is going to try and not get so made when she is icky. Do you want to see her? I think she would like to see you,” you nodded hesitantly and you were carried into their room. The light was very dim in there, but your Ma could still see your red tear stained cheeks and your puffy eyes, and she felt very angry with herself.

“I’m super sorry Munchkin, I shouldn't have yelled at you to go away, you were only trying to see if I was okay,” she said as your Mum put you down on the bed, you didn't reply to her, but instead crawled over to her and curled into her side, falling asleep almost immediately. Your Ma was confused by you falling asleep so quickly, and furrowed her brows at your Mum who answered her.

“Sam messaged me this morning, said she didn’t sleep very well last night, go to sleep I might too, but let me know if you need anything please.”

“I love you, Cait, thank you, for everything,” Your Ma said, before your Mum leant over to place a quick kiss on her lips. They both quickly joined you in sleep.

[carryonafi]

games we play.

ashton irwin x reader; SMUT!!🔞

a/n: hiii 😋 there’s a ton of really cool stuff coming up!! but for now here’s this little college oneshot that i wrote sort of on a whim. it’s a short little thing, but possible part 2??

enjoy!!

words: 2.1k

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

It was hard to focus on the lecture when all you could see in your peripheral vision was the impatient shuffling and sounds of fabric against each other. He cleared his throat, adjusted his pants, twirled his pen, tapped his fingers on the desk — Jesus, what was his problem?

Your head whips in his direction to finally look at him, shrugging your shoulders in an exaggerated, animated way to get his attention. You mouth those exact words to him, “What’s your problem?”. Oh, that boy. His cheeks were flushed a light shade of pink, his pupils were dark and blown out which hid the forestry green of his irises. Ashton wanted something from you.

He reached into his pocket, slipping his phone out and began furiously tapping the screen. Instinctively, you reached for your own — but not before rolling your eyes and giving a faux sigh of annoyance. Before you could even type in your passcode, your phone vibrated in your hands.

“i need you.”

“like, right now.”

A few days ago, you had met Ashton at a party and he insisted on giving you his number. The way you two met would be a story for another time, but it didn’t leave much imagination to how he suddenly became attached to you. He blew up your phone every night with one text after another, each vibration making you wonder why you had ever agreed to do anything with him in the first place — but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. Something about having this guy, notorious for having countless girls on his arm 24/7 made you feel pride. Ashton was texting you, asking you to hook up on his lonely nights when he didn’t want to keep his hands to himself.

However, your eyes scanned the texts with caution, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you thought and… maybe it was on purpose just to make that visibly uncomfortable boy driven even further into his teenage mind.

“… and?”

You replied quickly, seeing him jump out of the corner of your eye, to which you smiled and immediately drew yourself back into watching the text bubble.

“you should meet me in the bathroom.”

You could see him, biting his nails and tugging on the collar of his shirt as he waited for your reply. You wanted to tease him a bit more, but he looked so antsy and you couldn’t deny that you wanted this too.

“fine, go. i’ll be there in 5”

It was like a switch went off, his chair was roughly pushed out as he tripped and struggled to push it back in towards the desk. You bit back a smile, shutting off your phone and keeping your eyes on the professor at the front of the room while others around you two looked at Ashton struggling to stay quiet. You didn’t give him a glance, instead, you listened to the sound of his footsteps as he moved among the aisles and exited the room.

A minute or two went by, you checked the time, then your surroundings before moving out of your seat much nicer than Ashton did a few moments prior and exited the room yourself. You would be lying if you said your heart was beating at a regular speed, that was the only thing you could hear accompanied by the sounds of your boots on the floor as you made your way through the halls.

“You know what my favorite thing about this is?” You heard a voice from your left, startling you and causing your heart to beat even faster.

“Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with you?” You whisper-yell, my eyebrows furrowing as Ashton gestured with two fingers for you to come closer.

“I don’t think there’s that much ‘wrong’ with me.” He whispered back, a cheeky grin on his face as you approached. You didn’t have to be this quiet… but the pressure of trying to make minimal noise made this much, much more arousing. “Anyway, I was going to say I love how considerate this place is, y’know? The family bathrooms with one stall?”

“Yeah, very considerate.” You mumble, taking a few steps into the bathroom and closing the door behind yourself. Ashton locked it, the sound ringing in your ears. Nothing could have prepared you for the moment that he cupped your face and pressed his lips to yours, hastily walking you backwards so his back was pressed to the tile and you were standing in front of him. It was always like a competition with him, trying to see who could make out with the other faster, who could bite the other’s lip first, who could shed their clothing the fastest — but you needed to be quick.

“Want you to suck me off.” Ashton sighed against your lips, his hands tracing the curve of your neck, down your shoulders and over your sides… each feathery touch of his fingertips sent shivers down your spine.

Despite your need, you pulled away from his endless string of kisses and looked him in the eyes. There it was again, the sparkle in his eyes and the swollen pink of his lips which gave you that one last push to give him what he asked for.

“That's all you want?” You tease, your eyes trained on the way his tongue darted out over his bottom lip before he sucked in a sharp inhale.

“No.” The reply accompanied a smile. “But I don’t think we have much time.”

“Hm… this might have to continue after class, won’t it?” Ashton was thinking the same, you could see it in the way he blinked and swiftly nodded his head. His floppy hair fell into his eyes, removing one hand from your hip to push it to the side to get a clear view of you in front of him.

“You’ll actually let me come over this time, right?” His lip stuck out slightly, showing your boring eyes a pout. “Please, baby?”

Ashton could make you melt, you gave him a sigh just like you did before and nodded. Without you saying a word, he was already smiling like an idiot. Then with one last sweet peck to his pouty lips you slowly dropped to your knees. One first to brace your impact then the other, your skirt was short enough to not cover your knees and you could feel the cold tile beneath your skin. You could hear Ashton, pulling in a shaky breath with your lips inches from his clothed erection. This drove you crazy, but hell, it would be a while before you admitted that.

“Come on… stop teasin’.” He whined above you, soft edges to each word he spoke. You couldn’t deny him any longer, your own eagerness halting any further rational or creative thought. Ashton just looked so good, and this vulnerability he was showing set a fire burning within your abdomen.

Your hands slowly wandered up his thighs, playfully struggling with the stubborn button and tugging down his zipper in one swift move. Ashton bit back a sound of relief from the pressure being released, he replaced that sound with a soft sigh. It was obvious he was holding it in.

“You’re so tense.” You mumble, fingertips creeping up towards the hem of his jeans and catching the fabric of his boxers. Your plan was to remove them both at once, but these pants were tight… how the hell did he wear these? “Didn’t even know you could get like this.. so pent up.”

“Jus’—“ Ashton hissed, getting visibly impatient. His words came just before you tugged his jeans down to give you more than enough access. The sound that slipped past his lips once you wrapped a hand around his dick sent another chill down your spine, the way his eyelids fluttered and his head fell back against the wall. Ashton was a sight. You wanted more, you wanted more than anything to see him come undone within minutes then having to go back to class with non-stop thoughts of you on your knees making him dizzy.

Your eyes stayed trained on his face, not breaking the hold you had on him as you leaned forward and let the tip gently brush across your lips.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He pleaded, unable to take his own eyes off of you despite how badly he wanted to lean back against the wall again.

You wanted to say so much, but that wanton look on his face stopped you. Ashton looked too good to resist, and you weren’t one to deny him his pleasure anymore.

You slowly took him in your mouth, watching his lips part again and those wide green eyes gradually blinking and flickering closed. Ashton made so many… expressions, ones that urged you to take more of him in your mouth so you could see the other faces he could make.

“Shit…” He mused, hips pushing off of the tile wall as he rested a hand atop your head to guide himself further down your throat. His eyes lit up like a genius. “Wanna fuck your mouth, can I do that, please?”

That’s definitely not what you expected to come out of his mouth, but with your own quite occupied, you hummed an affirmative response around him and he caught the hint. Ashton bit down on that swollen bottom lip of his, letting out another groan that sounded more like a cocky laugh of satisfaction from deep in his chest. “Too fuckin’ good to me.”

Everything moved a bit quickly, but he was still quite gentle. His hand held your hair tightly, the sting just enough to bring you to whine but not enough to cause awful pain. Ashton acted all “bad boy”-ish, like he didn’t care who he was fucking or how, as long as he got to cum— but oh he cared. Even as you whined his grip loosened to a more comfortable position.

His hips lazily rolled to feel the drag of your tongue against the underside of his cock, that warm, inviting feeling of your mouth engulfing him completely as he cautiously analyzed your face. These soft, pleasurable sounds would make themselves known in the echo of the bathroom over those minutes. Through labored and uneven breathing he used you to his disposal, the thought making you squeeze your legs together.

You swallowed around him and hollowed your cheeks, but that’s what made him lose control. He sucks in another breath, muttering a few curses as he pleads with you to repeat that action without any words. Ashton was getting close, how his hips stuttered and lost the slow, steady rhythm they had just a few moments ago.

“Fuck, fuck— yeah, just’a bit longer, baby.” He said in this obscene tone of voice which dripped from every syllable. His hand held you tighter again. “Fuckin’ look at you, god…” With one final moan which sent vibrations coursing throughout his nerves, that was the last thing he needed as he reached his orgasm without a second thought.

Ashton caught his breath, his chest rising and falling under the force of his rough exhales. Another idea crossed his mind.

“Fuckin’ hell— can you swallow? Want you to show me.” He breathed, and it left you no choice but to deal with the taste and obey. You stuck out your tongue coated in his cum long enough for him to see, then retracting and doing just as you were told. Swallowing him down, then opening your mouth again to show Ashton that every last drop was gone. He nodded in approval, taking his eyes off of you just for a moment to straighten himself up and zip up his jeans.

“What do I get in return?” You asked playfully, expecting him to have a dumb response already on the tip of his tongue. But he hesitated.

“You’ll see if you let me come over.” There it was, he wet his lips and flashed a bit of a smile. You returned it, rolling your eyes as you straightened out your own outfit. “Wanna let me get under that skirt, maybe?”

“Quit talking, go back to class. I’ll wait a few minutes.” You looked over at the mirror, running your fingers through your hair as you followed Ashton’s movements in the reflection. His eyes tracing over your frame, lingering a bit too long on your skirt.

“No one cares, you know? Just come back with me.” He pressed, catching your eyes in the mirror. Once he realized that you weren’t budging, it was his turn to roll his eyes and sigh. “I’ll see you.” Ashton mumbled, a hint of amusement still laced in his voice that urged you to smile as you waved him off. This would continue, the game you were playing wasn’t over.

[sxtvrns]

kiss witness

🎶 now playing: old with you - grentperez

P: Tetsuya Kuroko x Fem!Reader

S: Your last year of junior high may have not been the smartest time to start going out with Tetsu. Puppy love was fragile with the transition into high school meaning potentially going separate ways, but the sport that brought you together in the past brings you closer after finding out your boyfriend is going to the same school as you.

W: fluff, knb spoilers, a tad bit rushed, goes over first bit of first season, bare minimum of basketball knowledge

N: Y/N is your first name, L/N is your last name. Words in quotation marks and italics are thoughts. I’ve only watched the first season so far but me and my friend have been screaming at every single competitive game. Giving the blueberry some love since he deserves it. I’ve been wanting to get this out of my drafts since the Suga blurb did so well.

please interact if you enjoy!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

A tall man with red hair lingers at the basketball club recruitment table for a moment, writing something down before walking away. “Are you sure you don’t have any questions for them, Tetsu?” You ask, looking at your practically invisible boyfriend.

“No. I’d rather you do all the talking.” He says, dragging you along with him to the table. They don’t seem to notice him standing right beside you, their attention focused on you. “Hi! Are you looking to sign up for the basketball club?” The girl asks, an eager smile on her face. “I don’t think this school has a girl’s team... but I was just wondering if there were manager spots open.”

‘She’s so pretty… is she really a first year?’

She looks at you with a glimmer in her eyes, her clasping your hands together while jumping up and down. “Yes! Yes, absolutely– we could definitely use a manager. Do you have the sheet?” Her hands are practically begging to receive the document. “Riko, calm down…” The man seated beside her says, you taking the pen from the clipboard and writing down some extra details before giving her the paper.

You check for Kuroko’s sheet on the desk, him simply lingering behind you with a gentle grip on your wrist. “Thank you so much, we’ll see you at practice!” She exclaims, a dead giveaway that you made it onto the team.

“Yo, you forgot this club request.” Koga says, handing his coach the sheet. “Oh, sorry. Tetsuya Kuroko… huh?” Riko’s suddenly shaken by her team captain, him nearly crumpling your sheet. “What’s going on with you? Calm down, seriously!” She says, Hyuga completely ignoring her. “She’s– that girl is from Teiko!”

“Huh!?” Riko then looks back at the sheet she was holding in her hand, being left equally shocked. “This guy’s also from the Teiko basketball club! If they’re both first years, then they must be from the Generation of Miracles!” She suddenly slams her head down on the desk, wailing. “Ugh, why can’t I remember that golden egg’s face?”

“Tetsu, they didn’t even notice you. I know it’s a part of your whole thing and all, but sometimes it gets to me, how you’re always… ignored.” Both of you trail behind the tall, red headed man from earlier, Tetsu’s grip moving from your wrist to your hand. “It’s okay, Y/N. I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be fine. I like it when you’re the only one that sees me.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Aida!” You greet from the door, Tetsu holding onto your hand as you walk towards her. Given his lack of presence, he didn’t seem to be worried about keeping your relationship a secret. If something happens, it happens. If they find out about you two, then they find out. “L/N! Welcome! I’m so glad we have a manager this year; it’s gonna be so fun having another girl on the team!”

“Are you the coach? Or is there someone else?” You ask, looking around the mostly empty gym. “I’m the coach! Everyone thinks I’m the manager all the time…” She sighs, understanding why one would assume so. Aida is pulled aside by one of the boys, leaving you to observe the rest of the players.

“Y/N, where do I go?” Tetsu asks, also staring at the players. “Go with them. Line up.” He nods, letting go of your hand and going to join the players. He doesn’t say anything, mostly because he’s being ignored but even so, you felt a little bad.

“Hey, isn’t the manager cute?” Furihata whispers. “I think she’s in our year. She’s kinda sexy.” Kawahara replies, both of the boys being punched in the back of the heads by Hyuga. “Morons.” Aida introduces herself, her true position on the team coaxing gasps out of everyone. “Listen up!” She yells, attention being brought to you.

“Y/N L/N. I’m the basketball club manager this year.” You introduce, feeling awkward saying your own name. “L/N, is this your first year managing?” Someone asks, you shaking your head no. “I managed for Teiko in junior high. I’ve played a bit of basketball myself.”

Aida then takes the stage from there after gasps could lead to more questions, her first order a strange one that caught you off guard. Your eyes darted towards her and shifted between her and Tetsu repeatedly, realizing he never took his shirt off.

“Aida, you forgot someone.” Everyone seems to give you a confused look. “What? Who?” You point at Kuroko. It isn’t until he fully introduces himself that everyone finally notices, the fact that he was also part of the Generation of Miracles suddenly relevant. To your demise, no one seemed to believe him.

Practice was more of an introductory to the members and program, for there was no actual playing involved. You met with Tetsu outside the gym, his hand fitting with yours. It was a small but meaningful gesture and almost the only one that he did to express affection. “Y/N, are you okay with walking alone?” He says after his attention was suddenly brought to something else.

“I am, are you?”

He nods, giving you a hug before walking the opposite direction.

Sometimes you can’t tell what your boyfriend is thinking.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“A practice game? With the second years?” You ask, dribbling the game ball. “Just so they get a feel for who they’re playing with. I also wanna see how the first years do, so I can coach them better.” Aida explains, watching you dribble the basketball. “You said you played, right? Unfortunate we don’t have a girls team.”

You shrug. “I was good.” She cocks an eyebrow, now curious. “How good?” Her arms are crossed, her intense stare focused on you. You crouch, dribbling the ball in between your legs followed by a behind the back, approaching the net with solid dribbles, running under to make a reverse layup.

“I obviously can’t dunk, but…” You quickly run out to the three point line, the spin on your shot so perfect that it goes in swiftly, rolling back to you. “I was taught some things at Teiko.” Aida’s mouth hangs open, the sight of her frozen nearly scaring you. “You’re amazing! Why’d you quit?” She took the ball from you. “It wasn’t something I enjoyed. I don’t want my whole life to revolve around doing something that I didn’t want to do.”

“I can understand that.” She says, yelling at the boys that walked in to hurry up. Hyuga ruffles your hair out of nowhere. “We got a sharpshooter!” He goes to talk to the coach, Tetsu appearing beside you. “When will you teach me how to shoot?” His head rests on top of yours, making you giggle. “When you actually pay attention when I try to. You’re always spacing out.”

“I do not.”

“You know I read you better than anyone else. Yes, you do. Now go join your team. I’ll be with Aida.” You hand him a penny jersey, noticing him reluctantly walk away from you to linger behind the red haired boy, who you found out was Kagami, his presence not noticed by his team like usual. Even when the game started, it was like they couldn’t see Tetsu the entire time. Kagami took the lead the entire time, dunk after dunk.

It wasn’t until Tetsu actually said something for once that the first years finally noticed him. In fact, everyone finally noticed him when he was under fire from Kagami.

“Hey!” Your voice booms across the gym, your stare hard and cold at the tall boy. “Drop it.” You add, the first years suddenly freezing up and going back to the game. Aida’s eyes are wide at their instant submission, surprised at the power you seem to hold despite it being only the second practice.

You cheer after he finally pulled off his ghost touch pass for the first time, the trick being pulled off again and again there on. You changed the score with such enthusiasm, Aida had to remind you twice to do so. The takeback practically had your heart racing at the end, giving a gleeful double high five to Tetsu before taking the pennies back.

Aida saw both you and Kuroko out of the corner of her eye as she was putting away the small scoreboard, your head resting against his arm for a brief moment. She didn’t think anything of it, while the second year players thought otherwise.

Meanwhile Tetsu held your hand as you walked across the street, stating that he deserved a treat for winning the practice game today. It worked out since you were also hungry, having a small lunch today. He waited at a table booth while you ordered, his signature vanilla shake and a burger and fries for you.

You sat beside him, Tetsu talking about his classes that day while sipping on his drink to let you eat without interruptions. It was nice having something he didn’t share with others; Tetsu’s talkative side mostly reserved for situations when it was just you two. Otherwise, he was never this chatty with people.

Someone suddenly sits down in front of you, the amount of burgers on their tray making your eyes go wide. Only then you realize that it’s…

“Kagami?” His head perks up at the sound of his name, eyes on you first before he sees Kuroko beside you. He nearly chokes on his food, bewildered to see the two of you together. “Hello.” Kuroko greets, sipping on his drink. “Where’d you come from? What are you doing here?!” Kagami seems more surprised at the fact Kuroko was there, making you the invisible one.

“I was sitting here first. Me and my girlfriend stopped by to eat. I like this place’s vanilla shakes.” The sudden mention of the label makes your face heat up and hide your face in his shoulder. “Tetsu…” He looks at you, confused. “What? Are you not?” You really don’t feel like dumbing it down in front of Kagami. “I am, but it was so sudden.”

“Girlfriend?! You two are dating!?” Kuroko nods, taking a fry from you. “Hey, hands off. If you wanted fries, you should’ve told me.” He pouts, Kagami sighing. “Here.” He tosses Kuroko a burger while you check your phone, the time having you rush to grab your things.

“What’s wrong?” Tetsu asks, watching you scurry. “I really need to get home. I don’t want my mom to ground me. Are you gonna walk with Kagami?” You feel like a parent, asking who your boyfriend is with. “Maybe, but I can walk alone. Text me when you get home.” His hand glides over yours as you both say your goodbyes, Kagami there to witness the whole thing.

“I feel like I’m interrupting something.”

“You aren’t. What were you saying?”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The sliding door opens, the person you’re looking for happily sipping on a milk carton with her head in the clouds. Tetsu then strays from you, standing at the side of her desk. “I’d like an official club membership form.” He says with no greeting, Aida spitting her drink everywhere. You have to stifle a laugh to avoid her from flaming up at you.

“Geez, Kuroko, you came out of nowhere!” Aida wipes down her desk, noticing you standing by the door. “I was standing here the whole time.” She sighs, reaching into her bag and pulling out a sheet of paper, handing it to him. “I’ll only accept the forms Monday at 8:40 on the roof.” Kuroko nods, meeting you at the door. “Thank you.” He says before sliding the door shut.

An article posted outside the library catches your attention, Tetsu stopping beside you to read it. It was their debut in a tournament from last year, which displayed and wrote about Seirin’s excellency for a now school. “They’re good.” You say, mostly to yourself, hearing your boyfriend huff in response.

“Hey L/N.” Kagami greets, stopping to read the article as well. “He wasn’t kidding.” His eyes scanned over the article, eyes mostly drawn to the two images on the sides. “Yes, they’re strong.” Kuroko says, making him jump.

“What is wrong with you?! Stop coming out of nowhere!” Kagami seems to completely forget about your presence, only focusing on Tetsu when he shushes him and points at the sign for the library. He grabs his head, threatening to beat him up until you whack him in the gut. “Stop that.” You say, walking away with Tetsu while Kagami doesn’t seem to notice.

For as long as you’ve been hanging out with Tetsu, he’s been quite antsy waiting for Monday, mostly worried about forgetting the whole ordeal on the roof. He couldn’t forget with how much he was thinking about it. The whole thing being 5 minutes before the morning assembly was your only concern. You stood beside Aida on the roof, the first years lined up in front of her as she makes a motivational speech for them.

Frankly, you thought it was too early in the morning for this.

“Give me your year, class, name, and your goal for this term and announce it to the entire student body! If you fail to achieve them, you’ll come back up here, strip naked and confess your feelings for the girl you love.” That last part definitely caught you off guard, knowing Tetsu was either unwilling to be so bold or work his ass off in order to avoid the humiliation.

“I have a question.” Kuroko raises his hand, Aida giving him permission to speak. “Since I’m dating Y/N, do I have to comply with the punishments in front of her?” The coach’s eyes go wide while you’re left with a hot face, flustered, practically informing part of the team of your relationship with him. Kagami was simply surprised at his boldness while the other three were yelling in shock.

“You’re dating L/N!?”

“Since when?!”

Aida blew her whistle, the three shutting up and standing still. “I suppose… that works. It’s only fair.” Tetsu was calm and collected about everything, but this? How could he be so reserved when he just agreed to go nude in front of you if he wasn’t a good player?

Something felt off while the players yelled, the students staring up at the balcony rather than paying attention to the assembly. You moved from the rail to the side of the entrance where no one could see you, Aida letting you be since Tetsu was the last person to go.

He never went, those in sight being ridiculed by staff while you stayed hidden, holding in your laughs. You’d rather be yelled at by the coach than an actual teacher.

You met with Tetsu after school, him placing a hand on your shoulder before asking you something. “Again? Really? Fine, but you’re gonna be alone this time. I have to go home.” He sighs defeatedly, giving you a hug. “Text me.” You nod, going ahead while Tetsu walks into the diner.

You wonder if Tetsu was ever going to announce his goal publicly after receiving a text from him that reminded you of the whole ordeal. After running into Kagami on the way to class, you both enter the room to see students lined up against the windows, seemingly looking at something outside. You make room for yourself and the tall player and notice writing on the field outside.

We will be the best in Japan

You turn around and see Tetsu standing behind you, looking at you before saying, “I’ll do it for the school, for the team, and I’ll do it for you.” You try to say something, but to know you’re one of his motivations for such a difficult goal made you fall in love with him even more. You hugged him, making him jump a little bit before he hugged you back.

Luckily everybody was too focused on the field that nobody noticed you two, besides Kagami. He simply gave Kuroko a thumbs up.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Ryō?” You mutter, noticing him sitting on the stage with a line of girls going out the door. You didn’t pay attention to the coach, the only important thing she was saying being a practice game against Kaijo High anyways. Tetsu would remember. You walk over, catching Kise’s attention. He says something to the girls that you can’t make out.

“Is that Y/N L/N? The former manager of Teiko Middle School Basketball Club?” He asks in an overdramatic tone, jumping down from the stage to meet you. “What are you doing here?” You ask, a pout appearing on Ryō’s face. “Wow, not even a hello to your older brother? We haven’t seen each other in ages! Where’s Kurokocchi?” His eyes eventually land on Tetsu. “It’s good to see you again.” Tetsu says.

“Brother?!” The team yells.

“No. Everyone called them ‘practical siblings’ in middle school since Y/N was always scolding him.” Kuroko explains.

“Good to see you, too,” Kise replies. “Going back to your informal greeting, Y/N-cchi, when I heard our next opponent was Seirin, I remembered you two went here, so I came by to say hello. And besides, the three of us got along best in middle school.” You scoff, hitting him in the side. “You sure about that?”

“You haven’t changed at all! Still so mean…” He fake cries.

“I’m staying that way.”

“‘Ryōta Kise. Though he started basketball his second year of middle school, his exceptional physical ability and sense got him on the Teiko team as a regular in a heartbeat.” Furihata says, the article having you feel sympathy for Tetsu. He never got his own personalized interview for that magazine, and every time it comes up, you can’t help but feel bad for your boyfriend.

You obviously care more than Tetsu does.

“That article exaggerated quite a bit, y’know? I’m glad to be called part of the Generation of Miracles but I’m the worst of the bunch.” Kise says. “You really are.” You joke, him shoving you. “Don’t make me feel worse about it than I already do!” He cries. You laugh at him, seeing the almost angry look on Kagami’s face, who stood at a distance.

You never really knew what was going on in Kagami’s head, so you assumed that he wasn’t really angry. If anything, that was his excited face.“Kise, get out of here, practice is still going on.” You nudge him repeatedly in the side. “Aw, why?” He drags out the ‘y’, pouting. “Do you not miss me? I wanna know what you’ve been up to!”

“I’ll talk to you at the game, okay? Just get out, you’re interrupting.” You shove him away from the team.

Aida begins to intervene. “Actually, we still have 5 minutes left–“

“Do you really want this idiot having full knowledge of our plays to inform his coach about?”

“Hey, I am not an idiot!”

Aida looks at you bickering with the Kaijo player before sighing, “Well, I guess we can cut it short for today–“ Suddenly, a ball is thrown at him, everyone turning to Kagami after seeing where it came from.

And the rest of practice consisted of you shoving Kise out of the gym after his little scrimmage against Kagami.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

One of the things that was going on in the minds of the benched Kaijo players’ mind was:

‘Damn, Seirin’s manager is cute!’

Meanwhile you were thinking…

That was one hell of a block.

Kagami practically climbed into the air, pushing himself up with Tetsu’s head and blocking Kise’s three-pointer.

“Fast break!” Kagami shouts, prompting everyone on the court to turn around. Kise turns around quickly, not paying attention to his surroundings, his hand whacking Kuroko in the face.

“Te– Kuroko!”

He falls back, lucky to not have hit his head. You look at Aida, who’s attention is on the injured player. You try to run to him while she’s distracted, but grabs and holds you back from going onto the court. He gets up slowly, footsteps uneven with his eyes focused on the ground.

Kagami and Hyūga check up on him, everything supposedly going okay until Tetsu collapses onto the ground. Only then do you realize that he’s bleeding. You break free from Aida’s grasp, running over to pick him up, supporting him with one of his arms around your shoulders back to the bench.

“Y/N-cchi…!” Kise merely looks at the two of you, your backs facing him. “I didn’t mean for this to happen– I’m sorry.” Your head turns just enough for you to see him out of the corner of your eye. “Don’t apologize to me. If this ever happens again, I’m going to rip your piercings out of your ears.” You threaten, walking away. Kise knows that you joke around when you say things like that, but you sounded completely serious this time.

For once, he was intimidated by your unknown sarcasm.

Tetsu laid on a mat behind the bench, bandages wrapped around his head, a bit of dried blood here and there but nothing too drastic. For the rest of the second quarter and a bit of the third, you stayed by his side, holding his hand and keeping your ears open for anything important the coach had to say when the game was paused. Aida kept track of points, rebounds and assists for you while you tended to an unconscious Kuroko. After a bit, you feel a squeeze on your hand, noticing that Tetsu’s eyes opened a little bit.

He tries to get up, but you usher him to lay back down for a bit, noticing he’s visibly tired. “Are you okay? Does your head hurt? Do you need anything?” You ask him these questions knowing he may not have been in the best state to comprehend all of them. “Have you been sitting with me this whole time? You should be working.” He says, looking at the benched team members.

“I did help a bit during halftime. Aida let me stay with you, said she needed someone to watch over you.” A smile grows on your face knowing that he’s okay. You’re still concerned. “Are you still gonna play?” You ask. “Yes.”

Tetsu was a persistent person, so whatever he says he will or will not do is the thing that sticks through. But knowing he was going to play after getting hurt? It scared you. “I’ll be okay. If I get hurt again, you’ll be there to help me. Please don’t worry.” He sits up, his hands cupping your face. He pulls your face towards his, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

There’s too many things going on right now. Your heart is racing, your face is hot, you feel so giddy but also so surprised. That was the first time he ever… kissed your cheek. He didn’t care if anyone was looking. He didn’t even care if no one or everyone saw, he just did it.

“What’s the matter? Are you okay?” You’re left stunned while he looks at you confused. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine, I’m great!” You get up, brushing off your skirt and helping Tetsu up. He pats your head, walking over to Aida to let himself back into the game.

For the rest of the game, you can’t help but think of how gentle he was when he cupped your face. How his kiss was soft and sweet on your cheek, He might’ve noticed how warm your face was, but if he did, he would’ve called you out for it. Your hand rested on the cheek where he kissed you, spacing out continuously.

“Y/N! Kagami scored again!” Aida yells, prompting you to mark it down on the clipboard. “Geez, what’s gotten into you? First Kuroko, now you?” You giggle while your hand rests on your cheek again, Aida knocking you on the head so you could pay attention.

You’re thankful that she did, because you got to witness your team’s first win. Even if it was only a practice game.

100 - 98

They worked hard for it. They deserved it.

You even witnessed Kise cry for the first time. Part of you feels bad for him, but the other part is glad karma has done its job. It may have been an accident, but it still pissed you off.

Quiet mutters come from the spectators up on the balconies.

You cry out a celebratory roar from the bench, Kagami following right after. The third years return Aida’s thumbs up, while she jumps after feeling a pair of arms wrap around her. “We did it! We won, Aida!” She has no idea how to react, resorting to resting her arm and patting you on the back.

Tetsu breathing heavily on the court catches your eye. Sweat drips from his forehead as he pants, but weirdly enough, he looked handsome.

After the winning declaration, you swear you’ve never seen Coach glow with such brightness before. She’s practically beaming. Tetsu sits down on the bench while you hold his towel, wiping the sweat off his face and checking his bandages. His face rests in your hand, while your eyes scan over the bandages. “We’re gonna go to the hospital after this. I don’t wanna risk anything.” He nods, leaning in to have his forehead touching yours.

You’re hiding the fact you’re freaking out very well since he isn’t saying anything.

“I’m going to kill Ryō.” You laugh. “Don’t do that. It’s not his fault.” You pull away first, getting up to get the sheet from the scorekeepers. Kise appears at the table as well, taking the other sheet. “Y/N-cchi, can I talk to you?” He asks. You don’t say anything but nod, following him out of the gym. Tetsu watches you walk off, unsure of how he should feel at the sight of the two of you together.

Alone.

“You and Kurokocchi are going out? I never thought he’d really own up to it.” You freeze, having to run to catch up with Kise. “Wha– how did you know? What do you mean by that?” He scoffs, stopping at an outside faucet. “I don’t think a manager would run onto the court for any boy, like him or not.”

You don’t respond, your phone buzzing in your small bag. “How long?” Kise asks before turning the faucet on to splash his face. “Since January.”

Tetsu had been the one to make the first move. At first, you were worried about the opinions of other people; your parents, your friends, Satsuki. You slowly started to realize that he didn’t care what others thought. He liked you and confessed to you for a reason. He’s done things with you he wouldn’t dare to do with another person. It showed how much he trusted you, and your face goes warm every time you think about it.

“He never showed you off in middle school like he did in the game today.”

“Tetsu mostly kept it a secret from you guys. He was… wary around Satsuki. It was harder since I hung out with her a lot. Otherwise, he was open about it when all of you weren’t around.”

“So he’s been kissing you at school and I’m just never there to see it?”

A rush of heat grows onto your face, making you hit Kise in the stomach. “We have not! You are so ridiculous…” Your phone buzzes again, this time you check who it is. A bunch of texts from Tetsu appear on your screen, a few calls as well.

Y/N

Y/N

Y/N

Where are you?

Please come back, we’re waiting for you

I miss you

Please hurry

Y/N

Don’t ignore me

I know you’re holding your phone right now

Please pick up

I’m getting worried

Coach is getting frustrated

“He’s really hung up on you, huh? He’s liked you since October, y’know. He always came to me for advice or just to talk to me about you.” Kise laughs at the memory. “Really?”

“Yeah! He’d say, ‘Y/N is so pretty’ or, ‘Y/N looks really good today’. He said you looked good every day, actually.” Your brain goes into overdrive, the thought of being admired like that seeming unreal. “We should keep in touch! I’ll give you my number.” He holds his hand out, you tossing him your phone. “Make it quick.”

Kise punches in his phone number, handing you back your phone. “See you at the Inter-High!” He waves, watching you walk away. You meet up with the team, Tetsu welcoming you back with open arms. “What took you so long? Is everything alright?” He questions, holding your hand. “Ryō wanted to talk to me. He found out we were dating.”

Tetsu tenses up a little bit. “He didn’t… tell you anything, did he?”

‘He’d say, ‘Y/N is so pretty’ or, ‘Y/N looks really good today’. He said you looked good every day, actually.’

“Well… he may or may not have said one thing.”

Tetsu suddenly jerks, covering his face with his other hand. It’s one of the only times you’ve seen him embarrassed, but really, it makes you laugh. His face is a bit red and he refuses to make eye contact with you, avoiding your gaze.

“What did he tell you?”

“That you talked about me every day with him.”

“Oh, that’s not… I thought he told you something else.”

“Like what?” Tetsu doesn’t respond, simply walking along like he didn’t hear your question. “Tetsu, don’t ignore me, now I’m curious!” You shake him slightly, emitting a giggle from him. “You know that love note you got in your bag that you wouldn’t stop talking about?”

“The one I got the day before Christmas break?” He nods. “That was me. I wanted to be the one to tell you about it, not Kise.” That’s why he seemed a bit antsy earlier at the mention of Kise saying something. “I reread that note over and over again for a week trying to figure out who wrote it. I have it hung up in my room.”

“I know. I saw.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I figured I’d bring it up sometime, but I didn’t know how to say it.”

He pauses, feeling you lean against him. “Why didn’t you call me that when I got hit?” He asks, leaving you confused. “Call you what?”

“Tetsu.” He refers to the moment where you called his name, being held back by the coach from running onto the court. “Ryō only knew I called you by Tetsuya before we graduated. I think he would’ve caught on if I called you that. I tried to play it safe.”

“I guess I can understand why you did that. Kise’s one to gossip.”

“I’m sorry if it hurt you.”

“It’s okay. Knowing Kise, you did the right thing.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Momoi’s gonna freak when she finds out you two are a thing.”

“You aren’t going to tell her, are you?”

“No, no, I won’t. I’m sure she’ll find out on her own. Why?”

“Because I want to be the one to tell her.”

Kise freezes, surprised. ‘So bold!’

“Y-You’re really okay with her finding out?” He stutters, spinning the ball on his finger. “She knows I don’t like her back.” Kise drops his finger, catching the ball in his hand. “Well, yeah, but her and Y/N-cchi were best friends! Don’t you think she’ll feel a little hurt after knowing her best friend of her entire junior high career is going out with the guy she loves?”

Kuroko pauses, Kise passing the ball for him to catch. “Momoi needs to know. Y/N is my girlfriend, not her. She needs to accept that. Besides, Y/N’s changed. She’s tougher and isn’t afraid to confront others.”

“Hasn’t she always been like that?”

“She got into an argument with the captain and won. She’s broken through our coach’s shell multiple times. She made me run extra laps after conditioning.”

“Okay, I get your point. Still, you know Momoi. She doesn’t stop.” Kuroko shrugs. “You underestimate Y/N. If anything happens, I’ll intervene.” He says, a look only Kise could recognize on his face. “What’s wrong? You okay?” Kise hunches to look at Kuroko’s face, the doubt more visible.

“I’m fine.”

“Well, you don’t look fine. We’ll never see each other again after this, so might as well tell me now.” Kuroko sighs, embarrassed to look at his former teammate in the eye. “Is it too soon for me to make any moves on Y/N?” Kise cocks an eyebrow, catching the ball that Kuroko passed back to him. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve only been going out with Y/N for three months and I don’t wanna make her uncomfortable but… we haven’t kissed yet.” Kise nearly bursts into laughter at his worry. “I never thought that Kurokocchi would ever worry about kissing!” He giggles, getting up from the table he was sitting on. “I haven’t even gone out with anyone yet, now that I think about it. Geez, you’re one lucky guy.”

Was Kuroko’s kiss on your cheek so discreet that even Kise didn’t see it? Not even out of the corner of his eye?

“What should I do?” Kuroko asks, Kise trying to come up with a solution. “The guy always has to make the first move, remember that. You confessed to her first, so you should initiate it.”

“So do I just kiss her out of nowhere?”

“What– no! Let me finish!” Kise stutters. “You didn’t pressure her into forcing her to go out with you. She already liked you, right?” Kuroko nods, Kise going back to thinking again. “Well, I think you should… no, I know you should ask her first before you kiss her. You don’t want to pressure her into something she doesn’t want to do. If she’s ready to kiss you, then she’ll let you do it. Like how she was ready to be in a relationship with you.”

“I see.” Kuroko mutters. “If she says no, then you wait. Good boyfriends are willing to be patient. Don’t be greedy.” Kise plays around with the basketball in his hand, Kuroko’s eyes stuck on him the whole time. “You know, you give good relationship advice for someone who hasn’t had a girlfriend yet.”

“Why’d you have to say it like that?!”

“You idiot, why’d you disappear like that?” Kagami looms over Kuroko, Kise’s eyes wide.

“What are you looking at?” Kagami sneers, staring down Kise. “What is she doing?!” He panics. Kagami turns around, seeing you confronting a much older boy on the basketball court behind them. “Y/N! What’s wrong with you– get out of there!” Kagami yells to no avail, feeling a hand on his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go help.” Kise pats him, guiding him towards the court.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“I didn’t even know you played! Why didn’t you tell any of us?” Kise wails, stretching after the win against those thugs. “Tetsu knows. I played club basketball; none of you would’ve known.” You answer, feeling Tetsu’s fingers intertwine with yours. “How come you stopped?”

“I started to hate it. It made me hate myself.” You confess, the air suddenly becoming awkward. “Sorry! You just asked, so I answered.” You laugh, embarrassed at killing the mood. “You would’ve gotten crushed playing alone. You’re lucky we were there.” Kagami scolds.

“I still think I could’ve done it on my own.” You shrug, feeling Tetsu let go of your hand. His arm then wraps around your shoulders, pulling you in a little bit. “Please be careful next time. You might’ve gotten hurt.” You blush, stuttering over your words. “Y-You’re one to talk! You ran off with Kise without even telling me!”

“Did I not text you?” You flip open your phone, showing him a message from earlier that day. He then takes out his own phone, showing that his message wasn’t delivered. “Tetsu…!” You hit him on the head, his other hand rubbing over the spot. He noticed Kise looking at the two of you, more specifically him, giving him a look and a thumbs up before being tackled by their coach on the spot.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The day before Seirin’s first preliminary match against Shinkyō, both you and Tetsu planned for him to come over to your house, since it was closer to the meeting spot the team had planned for the following day. He’d been working hard, balancing athletics and academics, managing to stay on top of both things with your help. Sometimes Kagami tagged along with the two of you, always worried he was third-wheeling.

This time, it was just you and him. You both got home after an evening outdoor court practice since Tetsu was so antsy, luckily you weren’t out for long. You looked over your notes, taking peeks over your book when you suddenly remembered that this was your own room.

Meaning there was only one bed.

Sure, Tetsu’s stayed over before, but you always insisted on sleeping on the floor since your relationship was just starting at the time and you didn’t wanna make it awkward. But now that you two were closer, you wondered if it would change.

“Tetsu, I can sleep on the floor again if you’d like.”

“No thanks. We can share.”

…Huh? Did he really just say that?

You two would be so close if you slept in your bed together, way too close, in fact. “Are you really okay with that?” You ask, making sure you’re fully awake by pinching yourself. He nods. “I am. Are you?” You break eye contact, trying to bury your face in your book. “I mean, as long as you’re okay with it…”

He gets up and turns on the lamp by your bed, turning off the main light and sitting down next to you. Meanwhile, you’re trying not to freak out being in such close proximity with him in your bed. You’re too busy freaking out that you don’t notice him taking your notes out of your hand and putting them on your desk. “We revised yesterday. We should be okay.”

“Oh, I know, I was just… I don’t know, looking over it.” You say, Tetsu getting back under the covers. “Is this too uncomfortable for you? I can sleep on the floor.” He seems to notice your distress by making that offer. “No, no, it’s okay! I just… haven’t shared a bed with anyone before, so this is kind of… new to me.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to pressure you or anything. I just figured since our previous sleepovers that this was okay.”

“It’s fine, Tetsu, really. I’ll just face the wall the entire night. I do kick in my sleep, though, just a warning.” He eyes you, his lips pursed shut for a moment. “Can I kiss you?”

“Eh…” Your face bursts into flames, flustered and shy at his sudden question. “WHAT?! Where did this come from…!?” You mutter, looking at your boyfriend’s completely monotone face. “I was told to ask you first in case you didn’t want to. Is this a no?”

“No,” you say repeatedly, panic imminent in your voice. “It was just so out of nowhere and so sudden and… I’m sorry for panicking but yes, you can kiss me but–“ Tetsu suddenly leans forward and presses his lips on yours, his hand then gently holding your jaw. Your eyes shut and so do his, your lips shifting and resting at a more comfortable position.

He pulls away, admiring every part of your face. “Is it too soon for this to happen?” He asks innocently, hand still resting on your jaw. “No. Why?” He leans in closer, your foreheads touching. “I want to do that again.” You smile, this time you initiate the kiss, planting your lips against his. This kiss was smoother, comfortable, his other hand holding you close to him as if you weren’t already close enough. Your lips glide awkwardly against his, but his follow every time you move.

Is this really what making out is?

You pull away after a few minutes, noticing the mix of disappointment and eagerness on Tetsu’s face. “We need to rest. You have a game tomorrow.” He pouts while you lean across him, turning off the lamp and laying back down. Your hands hold onto his arm while your head moves closer to his, resting on his shoulder.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Tetsu was full of surprises that night. Your heart begins to race at those three words, your face warming his shoulder. “Really? You mean it?” You feel him nod and turn his head, his chin resting atop of your head. “I understand if you aren’t ready to say it yet. I can wait.”

God, he was so patient with you, and that made you fall in love with him even more. “I love you too. Goodnight, Tetsu.” You feel him give you a peck on the top of your head, his arm wrapping around you and pulling you closer to him. He was so warm, his presence comforting, his hugs tight and secure, like he wanted the moment to last forever.

At the same time, he hoped the feeling of his own heart racing wouldn’t wake you up.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You waited in the change room labelled for your school while waiting for the rest of the team to arrive. You both had left early in fear of arriving late, but the crosswalks were on your side today, and you got there way earlier than you should have.

You peeked out of the room every once in a while, none of the team outside making you panic. Until you remembered that you were supposed to meet up somewhere with all of them. You frantically turn around and pull out your phone, hearing Tetsu say your name.

“I texted Kagami already. He knows.” You let out a sigh of relief and walk over to Tetsu’s side of the room, sitting down next to him and letting your head fall on his shoulder. His hand ghosts over yours for a second before he finally holds it. “Shouldn’t you get changed?”

“We have time. I want to stay with you like this for a bit.” He says. You lean into his touch, drowning yourself in the sound of your own heartbeat. Your head turns, chin perked up on his shoulder to look at him. He notices, staring deep into your eyes like he could see the thoughts behind them.

“If you’re gonna kiss me, just do it.” You mutter with a smile, Tetsu taking the hint and leaning forward to kiss you. Your lips meet, the moment so sweet that you don’t hear the door open.

The sight of many bewildered second years appears out of the corner of your eye, prompting you to pull away and hide your face. “Hello.” Tetsu greets nonchalantly, as if he didn’t just have his lips on yours earlier. A symphony of shocked cries come from the second years.

“When–?!”

“You two are dating?”

“Why did we not notice…!?”

“I thought it was obvious! Didn’t Aida tell you? Kagami?” They look at you, still stunned. “Any of the first years?” They all shake their heads, leaving you surprised at their cluelessness. “They hold hands all the time, idiots, you think that regular friends do that normally?” Kagami sneers at their obliviousness.

“To be honest, they never told us. I didn’t think Kuroko was the type to start dating so early.” Hyūga admits. “And Kagami…” He starts. “Learn to respect your upperclassmen, okay?” Kagami flinches at his captain, immediately going to claim a locker.

You kiss Tetsu on the forehead before getting up. “Get changed, okay? You got this.” Before you can leave, he grabs your wrist.

Kagami watches as his duo says something to you, making you rush out of the room.

“What did you say?” He asks.

“I’ll win this game for her.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

well, if i ever grow old… (old with you!)

i’m needin’ your hand to hold. (just us two!) 🎧

[em1i2a3]

I Saw You In A Dream (Part One of Two)

Bjorn x fem!reader

Author’s Note: Hey everyone! I’m really getting into this format right now and I am honestly loving this community a lot! I wrote this one kind of out of the blue, but I broke it up into two parts because I was really wanting to build things up more. For this particular part I was hoping to bring some aspects of Alien Isolation into this by including the Seegson Synthetics (or the ‘Working Joes’), but don’t worry it isn’t that integral to the plot, and I’m trying to not touch the lore too much. I hope you guys enjoy this first part though, I will be working on this and many more so keep an eye out for the updates :)

Warnings: Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Blood/Surgical Procedures, Some Angst, and a little tiny bit of fluff, no smut in this chapter, keep an eye out for the next part tho hehe.

A P.S From the Writer: The title is taken from a song by The Japanese House. I typically listen to music when I write to put me in a good headspace so the song that I tune into to wrap up the chapter usually inspires the title. I will probably make a playlist at some point.

Word Count: 5,615 (Another chunky one!)

The blueprints were laid out on the table. The only light that illuminated the trailer was just above where everyone was sitting.

”This.” Tyler points with the edge of his pen, “Is where we would enter.” He instructed.

”How do you know the doors will even be open?” Bjorn chimed in, interrupting the game plan Tyler was trying to lay out for the team.

“Because I’ve scoped out the place already. You think I’m going to send you in without knowing the ins and outs of the fucking place?” Bjorn shrugged.

”Don’t know, that’s why I asked.” He shot back, walking away from the blueprints. You glanced over at him, watching him settle on the couch with a rough sigh, extending his arm out across the top, getting himself into a comfortable position away from everyone.

”Bjorn, you know you’re gonna have to look the blueprints over to actually know where the fuck you’re going right?” Navarro commented, staring daggers at him from over her shoulder.

”I’m sure I’ll be able to get a play-by-play from all of you, so I’ll stay right here, thank you.” He responded.

“This is an abandoned Weyland-Yutani building Bjorn. We need to be on our fucking game if we don’t want to get caught, now is not the time to have one of your fits.” You said, the backs of your ankles hitting gently against the cabinets below where you were sitting. You knew Tyler had been planning this for a while, and he had worked hard to obtain the blueprints of the place. Not only that, but you knew he was worried about Bjorn copping an attitude, he always did that when he was either jealous or when he didn’t have anything better to do with his time. In this situation, you couldn’t tell why he was being this way.

“If it’s abandoned I’m sure we won’t have any issues, honey.” He smirked. You could feel your blood begin to boil, as your cheeks turned a blush red. He definitely knew how to push everyone’s buttons.

”You think nobody has the same idea of scavenging the place for parts?” Tyler’s voice was filled with disbelief, taken aback by how stupid one person could be. “This is basically a suicide mission if we don’t have a plan. It could be a trap for all we know.”

“Then why are we even trying?” Bjorn questioned, trying to catch Tyler on his own words, his grip tightened on the table, and his teeth bit the flesh on the inside of his lip.

”Because if we don’t try we will be slaves to the corporation for the rest of our fucking lives. If you want that, then you can suit yourself, but we are willing to give it a try.” He said, motioning to the group. At this point everyone was staring at Bjorn, trying to see if any of his features were indicating that he was going to give in and return to his spot at the table, but when he didn’t budge, Tyler just continued with explaining the plan.

————

“Do you know why he was being such a dick today?” Kay asked, leaning against your workstation, looking down on you, watching as your hands worked on fixing your headlamp. You shook your head, wiping the sweat off your forehead, making a note that you needed to find some spare parts to fix your fan.

“I don’t really care, he’s gonna get himself killed if he comes with us though, that’s all I know.” You commented, your nimble fingers working to rewire one of the cords that had been fried. A pang of silence slipped into the room, as you glanced up at her, seeing a small frown appear on her lips. “What? What do you want me to do? Talk to him? Convince him to ask Tyler to show him the blueprints and go over the plan again with him?” You said, the disbelief in your voice almost palpable.

”Rain, Navarro and I have already tried, and Andy….Well you know he won’t take well to Andy.” She says, watching you lean back in your chair so you can get a better look at her, seeing the hidden desperation in her pleading brown eyes. Even though Bjorn could be an asshole at times she still cared about him, and she wanted to make sure that he was going to be safe. Kay would always tell you that family was family regardless of how stupid or mean they could be at times, this was one of those times. You placed the headlamp down on the desk with a defeated sigh.

”Fine…I’ll try, but I’m not promising you anything, if he walks back in with a black eye, don’t blame me. He really pushed my buttons today.” You replied, standing up from your seat, grabbing your sweater, cigarettes and lighter from your work area. She nodded with an understanding smile.

”I know he isn’t fun to be around most of the time, but whether you like it or not we need to have each other's backs, even if it may be hard.” You pulled the sweater over your head, fluffing your hair up, and shaking out the static, shoving your hands into the big pocket to make sure the fabric was covering your oil-stained tank top.

“Yeah, yeah I get it.” You sighed, “I’m gonna go have a cigarette, I’ll update you if my approach works.” She nodded, as you walked by her, down the cramped space of your work area, managing to shift by all the things that you had stacked by the door. You stumbled out into the living room area of the trailer, pushing open the door to step outside onto the makeshift porch you all pitched in to create. You were surprised to see that Bjorn was already outside smoking, sitting on one of the crates everyone used as chairs, watching people go by in their machines. The bright work lights above you were dimmed as the workers were trying to fix the generators that powered them, which allowed your eyes to easily adjust to the surroundings.

“Hey,” You greeted causally. Bjorn glanced over at you, eyebrows going up at your voice as you took up your spot on the other side of the door, leaving a large gap between the two of you. Your hands dug around the pocket of your sweater, slipping one of the cigarettes out of your previously opened pack, and retrieving your lighter in the process. You wrapped your lips around the filter, shifting slightly to get it positioned well before bringing the flame up to the end, breathing in as you lit it. You slid the lighter back in with your pack, and pulled the cigarette away from your lips, blowing the smoke out.

“Y’know, if you’re out here to talk to me about getting on my knees and begging Tyler for forgiveness so he can show me the blueprints and go over the plan again, I’m not gonna do it.” You looked over at him, motioning to your cigarette.

”Does it look like I’m out here to talk to you about that? You made your choice, I’m not here to coddle you like the people in there do.” You commented, shifting your head to the trailer, “They actually care about you.”

“And you?” He pressed, the end of his cigarette glowing, as he took a deep drag, his cheeks hollowing out while doing so. You shrugged.

”Me? I’m indifferent. Couldn’t care less what you choose to do, but I always have to play middleman and run interference when you get out of hand.” You lied. Even when Bjorn was being an absolute trouble maker you still had that little piece of yourself that wanted to make sure he was okay and safe, and breathing. You were hard on yourself and practically refused to admit that it was more than just a friendly concern you had for him. He rolled his eyes, pulling the cigarette away from his lips, forcing the smoke out of his mouth as he spoke.

”Yeah but you don’t have to do that.” He states.

”I’m sorry, it seems like you haven’t met your cousin Kay before, maybe I should introduce you to her sometime.” You shot back, flicking some ashes off onto the ground below you, crossing an arm over your torso. He smirked.

“I’ll repeat myself again sweetheart, since it seems like you didn’t hear me the first time. You don’t have to do that.” Your eyes shot daggers at him, watching his tongue lick his bottom lip, moistening it. “You always have the option to say no, you just choose to step in 'cause that’s the way you show you care.” He stated.

”No. That’s the way I keep the peace.” You emphasized, taking a quick drag “And fix your stupid mistakes.” You added, blowing the smoke out in the process.

“My mistakes?” He exclaimed, pointing at himself, a laugh escaping his throat, “You’re fucking ridiculous love.” You kicked around some rocks that surrounded you, as you stepped toward where Bjorn sat, watching his back straighten.

”Remember the time the mines laid you off 'cause you wouldn’t stop fucking around on the job?” He glanced away from you, looking down at the ground, the rocks crunching under your feet as you leaned into the crate he was sitting on with the side of your hip. “Tyler called, told me all about it, he was revved up because you didn’t have anything else apart from that to fall back on, asked me for a favour to help you out, and practically begged me.” You inhaled against the filter feeling a gentle burn in your lungs, breathing out a cloud of smoke. Bjorn’s eyes returned to you, watching your movements closely, examining your facial features, the way your pupils were blown out due to the dim lighting, and how your lips pursed as you continued the trip down memory lane.

“I refused to help at first, you put yourself into that situation so why should I care? Then all the others called me, and I couldn’t stand it. So I called your manager and made a trade with him to fix some equipment. He hired you back the very next day...Do you remember?” You could see his jaw clench in the dim lighting.

”Yeah. I remember. Didn’t know that was you, I thought I-“

”Was just that important?” You interrupted, your eyes meeting his shiny blue irises, catching him staring, a smirk drawing up on the corners of your mouth as you took another drag from your cigarette, blowing it off to the side out of courtesy, shaking your head. “No. He was adamant about keeping you away from the place actually. It took a lot of convincing.” Bjorn bit the inside of his cheek, tapping off the excess ash onto the rocks below him.

“The people in there knew how much you needed that job to keep you distracted. They care about you.” You took a moment to take another drag, breathing out before leaning in close to him, almost as if you were going to kiss him. “My honest recommendation for you would be to go in there and ask Tyler to go through that plan before you get yourself killed…Because that will be one mistake I won’t be able to fix.” Your voice was smooth, and sultry in a way even if the context of the conversation didn’t fit that type of tone. It made Bjorn’s stomach twist in knots hearing it change so quickly. He dragged his teeth along his bottom lip. You tilted your head a bit, before leaning in even closer, swaying to the side right when you were in close enough proximity so your mouth was at his ear. You pressed the cigarette out on the metal of the trailer, hearing a gentle hiss. Bjorn closed his eyes a disappointed sigh exiting his mouth, feeling your warm breath tickle his ear. “Thought I was gonna do something else?” You asked, leaning back to put your unfinished cigarette into your pocket, a playful smirk dusting your lips, as you shook your head, seeing his dazed eyes studying you.

“In your dreams Bjorn.”

———-

It was you, Tyler, Bjorn, Rain, Andy, and Navarro standing outside the fence that surrounded the abandoned Weyland building the next week. Kay had come down with a fever that day, so she stayed behind to recover and keep the trailer under supervision.

”Andy, you’re with me in the basement, we have to see if there’s anything valuable in the computer system. Rain, Navarro, you two stay together, search through the first two levels.” Tyler paused, looking over at you apologetically, “You and Bjorn will go to the top floor.” You nodded at him sharply, as he threw over a walkie-talkie to you. “Keep in touch, okay?” You slipped the communication device into your pocket, adjusting your headlamp.

”We will meet back here in an hour, right?” You asked, making sure all the plans were understood. Tyler nodded. You sighed, looking over at Bjorn, “Alright, let’s get going.” Motioning your head towards the hole in the fence that Tyler had stretched out a few moments before, fixing the handgun that you had strapped on your thigh. Bjorn crouched down, sneaking underneath the secret entrance as you followed closely behind. You glanced over your shoulder, giving the crew one last look before running towards the building.

From the outside, the building looked like it had been out of commission for decades, even though it had been a mere month since the corporation had let all its employees go. None of the security lights were on, and the emergency lights that were backups for the outage were barely working, this allowed the both of you to easily sneak in through the side door.

The inside of the building looked as if time had stopped within it. Papers were still strewn about the desks, coffee mugs half full with films of mold encrusting the liquid that remained at the bottom of them, and of course brochures with advertisements painted on them, promoting their featured items; insurance, synthetics, and computers.

“How’s it looking?” Tyler’s voice echoed from the walkie-talkie. You dug into your pocket and brought the mic up to your mouth.

”Looks like a building that was owned by a multimillion-dollar corporation. Making our way up to the top level now, I’ll call you if I need you.” You stated, sliding the device back into your pocket, tilting your head towards the emergency stairway.

”There’s an elevator right there.” Bjorn pointed out, you paused.

”Yeah? And this is an abandoned fucking building. If you want to risk getting stuck in there by all means go ahead…I’m gonna take the stairs.” He sighed.

”Always your way or the highway huh?” He commented, pushing by you to go towards the door, once again with you trailing behind him closely. You turned on your headlamp, and walked up in silence, your hand holding the handle of your gun, making sure you were prepared if you ran into anything. By the time you reached the top level, Bjorn was winded, hunching over his knees to catch his breath.

”My god that was a fucking workout.” He said, wheezing slightly. You stared down at him, your eyebrows raising at the way he tried to stabilize himself. It took him a few minutes to finally get his breathing under control before he stood up straight, his face darkened by the blood that had rushed to his head from the positioning, a sigh escaping his lips.

“You good now princess?” You asked mocking the nickname that he used with some people, catching him off guard.

”Yeah yeah. I’m fine.” He brushed the comment off, pushing against the door of the top floor, walking into the dimly lit room, with you following. “Jesus fucking Christ,” Bjorn murmured, you looked up at him, then followed his gaze to what he was going on about. It was a room full of desks, and different designs for synthetics, with a wide range of styles, big, and small, from human-looking to robotic and many more. One of the models stood out more than the most, one that you had never seen before. They were scattered among the rest, but you couldn’t recognize the make even though you had done extensive research on Weyland's production scheme, their goal of making the synthetics as human-looking as possible. These were extremely far away from that goal. The models looked cold and rubbery, the pale blue finish making your spine straighten. No wonder they wanted to make them look human, You thought.

“Just our fucking luck we get sent to a level that has a bunch of synthetics.” Bjorn pressed his fingers into the sides of his head, continuing to rifle off expletives as you grabbed the walkie-talkie.

”Tyler, we’re on the top level.” You informed, trying to make it quick so he didn’t catch Bjorn’s rant, but to no avail.

”What’s going on up there? What’s all the noise?” His voice was muffled, cutting in and out. You figured he might have been going down into the basement and losing connection.

”There’s synthetics up here.” You whispered, your eyes following Bjorn’s rapid, and chaotic pacing, his hands running through his hair nervously. There was a beat of silence, as you pressed down on the side of the device again, “Hello?” You mumbled, realizing that you lost connection. You slid the walkie-talkie back into your pocket, ignoring Bjorn’s panic, your eyes scanned the surrounding area, your hand clenching the gun on your leg once again. From where you were standing you could see files on each desk with prototype names written down on bright green sticky notes. You moved towards one of them, flipping it open to look at the typed notes that you assumed the developer had written out, trying to find any information you could on the state the synthetic was in.

“-Fucking stupid goddamn things are gonna kill us.” You turned your attention back to Bjorn, watching him seethe. You knew he had always had a weird thing about synthetics, and you didn’t blame him, he didn’t have a positive experience with any of them, except Andy, and that was saying something. He always toted the line of tolerating his presence, but this reaction was overboard even to his standards.

“Bjorn-” You cut in.

“I knew this was a bad idea, I fucking knew we were going to run into something like this-”

“Bjorn!” You yelled over him, causing his voice to cut off mid-sentence, stopping him dead in his tracks, “They’re not going to turn on.” You lifted the file in the air for him to look at what you were reading, “Their software isn’t even installed yet, they’re just the shells.” You threw the papers on the table, now going through the drawers, shuffling the contents around to see if there was anything that could be of use.

“H-How do you know that all of them are like that?” He stuttered out, slowly moving towards you, hoping that if anything were to happen there would be an advantage in numbers. His eyes glanced over at the synthetic you stood beside, the hazy blue skin tone practically glowing in the darkness that surrounded the both of you. A shiver went up his spine, seeing the unnaturally empty look the eyes had.

“Well, we’ll just keep checking the files and searching the desks for parts. The power is out in the building so I don’t think-.” Suddenly the sound of the bright fluorescent lights turning on interrupted your explanation, your eyes burning from your pupils trying to adjust to the harsh change, a conjoined hiss echoing between you and Bjorn. The low hum of the computers turning on grabbed your attention immediately, you glanced up at the screen to look at what was loading, not knowing what kind of codes were popping up.

“You were saying?” Bjorn commented, looking over your shoulder so he could see what you were seeing, not realizing how close he was to your exposed neck, his hot breath causing your skin to become sticky. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, ignoring the feeling, a loud locking noise echoing through the space.

“Fuck.” You muttered, running over to the emergency staircase door, pushing against it, not feeling any give to it, “Oh fuck.” Bjorn let out a forced laugh.

“We’re fucking screwed.” He leaned against the desk, his head tilted back to look at the ceiling. “We are so FUCKING screwed!” He screamed, kicking the synthetic in front of him causing it to fall onto the ground, unplugging from the computer. You flinched at his outburst.

“Bjorn calm down, please…” He looked over at you, his head shaking back and forth.

“Calm down? We are stuck in a fucking room chalked FULL of synthetics. We have no idea what their directives are, and we don’t have communications with that stupid fuckhead in the basement. Then you tell me to calm down?!” He yelled, staring down at the synthetic he had kicked. You stood against the door, grabbing the walkie-talkie out of your pocket, and pressing down on the button on the side, hands shaking from all the screaming as you kept your eyes locked on Bjorn’s.

“Tyler…Are you there?” The room's silence was deafening at that point, all you could hear was the faint buzzing of the fluorescent lights. From the other end of the line all you could hear was static, the sound of something scraping against the mic. “Tyler god damn it are you there?!” You snapped, noticing a pair of eyes begin to glow a dim red in the distance, your breath hitching in your throat. Bjorn could see your facial expressions change, twisting and forming into something filled with sheer panic. All your skin had lost colour, and you turned pale, almost translucent, your breathing speeding up, as you tried to get yourself back into check. “Tyler please, if you can hear me, we are locked in on the top level…We need help.” Your voice was in a low whisper, your eyes still trained on the synthetic that began to tap around its body, trying to locate the plug that kept it connected to the computer as you slowly slid yourself down the door. The thought of their directives now coming into perspective.

“W-What are you doing?” Bjorn questioned, moving towards you, a confused look appearing on his face. You were shaking your head, watching another set of eyes glow red, and another.

“Bjorn…Get down.” You said through gritted teeth, your hand going towards your gun again. He crouched onto his knees, getting in front of you, looking at your frantic eye movements, now drawing his attention to what you were looking at.

“Fuck.” Was all he could manage to get out as one of the synthetics unplugged itself, its head slowly, methodically, turning side to side, like it was scanning the area. You were about to say something but Bjorn’s hand clasped against your mouth tightly, his eyes glaring over at you, the pointer finger of his other hand coming up to his lips, signalling for you to be quiet.

“Get under a desk.” He mouthed, “And don’t make a sound.” He added, watching you nod, his hand slowly leaving your mouth, your eyes searching his for a moment before shifting onto your knees, and crawling towards one of the nearby desks, trying your best to be as quiet as possible. Your ears were in tune with how the synthetics slowly began to move around, not making a noise, like they were trying to be as sneaky as you and Bjorn. Your movements were quick as you shoved yourself under the nearest desk, your back pressed up against the hardwood, hoping that you were hidden enough. You looked across the way, seeing Bjorn take his spot across from you, under his separate spot, his eyes trailing over to you almost like he was silently checking in. From behind the desk, you could hear two objects drop to the ground, the sound of feet shuffling entering the environment soon after. Bjorn’s gaze locked in above the desk, his jaw tightening as he observed what was going on above you.

“Guys. Are you there?” Tyler’s voice echoed through the walkie-talkie line, your hand immediately grabbing it out of your pocket to turn it off, but it was too late. The synthetic had already made its way around the desk in one swift movement.

“We are only here to help.” The modulated voice said, grabbing onto your wrist as it dragged you out from under the desk, tugging you up onto your feet, “Just hold still.” Then everything went black.

---------

“Tyler, drive for fuck sake, I don’t know if he’s breathing.” Rain’s voice ripped through the darkness.

“I’m trying!” He yelled back. You could feel your head pulsing as it lulled to the side, your neck feeling limp. You struggled to take in a breath without your lungs feeling like they were about to collapse. A whistling sound escaped your throat as you tried to breathe in and out..

“Andy what’s going on with her back there?!” Navarro’s voice echoed through the truck, sounding exhausted as the wheels hit three consecutive bumps in a row, shaking everyone in the enclosed space.

“She may have an internal bleed of some sort, I hear wheezing, and she is cold to the touch.” He responded calmly, feeling his hands run down the sides of your ribcage, a low cry escaping your lips as he touched what you presumed to be a bruise on your right side. “Rain, I don’t know what is happening.” Andy’s voice trembled slightly, turning you to your left, as a louder, more guttural cry echoed through the space, your chest feeling like it was being ripped out from your flesh. Your lungs were on fire, as your mouth opened, trying to suck in as much oxygen as possible, another whistling noise accompanying your breaths. A high-pitched moan now joined in with the noises you were making. You tried to force your eyes open, but nothing was working.

“Bjorn…It’s okay, we are all here, just calm down, you’re in the truck.” Rain explained, you could feel Andy’s fingers press down onto one area of your ribcage, tapping against them.

“Rain I think she’s got blood around her lungs, the sounds are dull, she won’t be able to breathe properly until we relieve the pressure and remove the clot-.” Andy’s words caught in his throat, as there was aggressive movement happening from in front of you.

“Bjorn, relax man, don’t move, we will take care of her.” Navarro said softly “She’s gonna be alright.” You couldn’t make out what he was trying to say, but you could hear his voice, the hoarseness of it, the jumbled wording coming out like gibberish. From the darkness you could hear things being moved around, hearing someone searching for something.

”Andy here. Take this. Do what you need to do to keep her alive.” Rain interrupted, her tone firm. You felt your sweater go up, as cold fingertips pressed into your ribcage, trying to locate the space between. He stopped momentarily, keeping his finger on the spot. You could hear shuffling, and then the sharp tip of a blade pressing into the spot Andy had found. A screech escaping your throat.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Andy repeated over and over again, as he dug his finger into the slit it made, creating a bigger hole, tearing your flesh. You could feel hot sticky blood run down your skin, as he removed his finger, replacing it with something hard and plastic, threading it through.

“What the fuck are you doing to her?! Get your fucking hands off of her!” Bjorn yelled, his voice muffled by something, you couldn’t tell if it was your ears or something that was physically wrong with him that was causing his words to sound like that.

“Bjorn, he is helping her…Look at the tube.” Rain said, there was movement once again, as your chest began to feel less and less weighed down, until finally you could draw in a sharp breath, letting the air fill your lungs with ease.

————

The first thing you heard when you regained consciousness was the soft snoring of someone. It was calm, quiet, soothing in a way. You moved slightly, as pain shot up your side, a hiss escaping your throat. You could feel that you were propped up with a few pillows behind your back, as you forced your eyes open, the dim light of your cramped room coming into focus. You swallowed, taking in your surroundings, noticing Bjorn sitting at your bedside with his head tilted back pressing against the wall behind him. He looked roughed up, his face filled with scrapes that looked like they were almost healed. His lip was busted and bruised, and there was a bright red spot just below his eye, not being able to identify if it was a scar or not. If he looked like that you couldn’t imagine what kind of damage was done to you.

“B-B-Bjorn.” You breathed, your voice hollow and dry, as you reached out your hand, tapping against his leg. He hummed, his eyes slowly blinking open, his gaze meeting yours, a small smile coming up on his lips.

”Hey….Good morning.” He said in a joking tone, moving his chair so he was closer to your bedside. You swallowed loudly.

”How…How long have I…” You struggled to speak, watching him grab a glass of water off from your bedside table, holding the straw for you so you could drink, the liquid cooling the inside of your chest.

”About a week.” He responded softly, pulling the straw away from your lips, “You had a few clots in your lungs…Andy was able to remove them with this makeshift chest tube thing he created in the back of the truck, once they were out it was like you slipped into this deep sleep…We didn’t think you would wake up.” He admitted, breaking eye contact, hearing an unfamiliar sadness lacing his voice. You swallowed, nodding.

“And how long have you been sitting here?” You asked quietly.

”The entire time.” He responded, “Took a break to shower, but the majority of the time I was here, waiting.” You could feel your heart catch at the confession, he took in a shaky breath, “I was so scared.” His eyes met yours, as you noticed a tear fall down his cheek. You hadn’t seen Bjorn like this. You were around when his mother passed and even then the state he slipped into was that of rage, not tears. Your eyebrows knitted together as you reached a hand out, placing it against his stubbly cheek, catching a stray droplet that fell from the corner of his eye, “I thought I was going to lose you.” He whispered, his hand coming up to place it atop of yours. You could feel your eyes begin to fill with tears as well, the emotions flooding you quickly, overwhelming you, realizing how much Bjorn had done, how much time he dedicated to making sure you were going to have someone be there when you woke up. He took your hand off his cheek, bringing the back of it up to his lips, giving it a light peck as he held it tightly.

“Come here.” You beckoned, finding what little strength you had in your muscles to push yourself to the right side of the bed to make room for him. He looked at you, almost as if he was asking if you were sure. You patted the free space now, watching him get up and kick off his shoes, lifting the heavy covers so he could slide in next to you. His cheeks were wet with his tears as you wiped them with your knuckle, “I’m okay Bjorn, you don’t have to worry anymore.” His rough hand held your elbow gently, as he nodded, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours, the both of you closing your eyes, your hands holding his neck as you breathed him in. You laid there enjoying the silence for a moment, until you decided to lean in, placing a gentle kiss on his lips, tasting the blood that was caked on them from the cuts. His breath hitched in his throat as his hand rested on your waist. You pulled away quickly realizing what you just did.

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t know what I was th-.” He shook his head.

”Please don’t apologize, I’ve wanted that for so long, don’t ruin it with an apology.” Bjorn murmured, his forehead meeting yours again. You smirked.

”I don’t want you getting the wrong idea, thinking I’m doing it to thank you.” He leaned back to look at you, his eyes scanning over your face.

”Are you doing it for any other reasons I may not know about?” He questioned.

”Maybe it is the fact that we almost died in that building without giving ourselves a chance to admit there’s something between us that we never acknowledged.” You explained, your fingertips tracing his frowny face tattoo just below his ear.

”So you feel it too, hmm?” You glanced at him, “I knew you couldn't possibly resist.” He joked, leaning forward to place another kiss against your lips, “I didn't even have to wait to have a dream about it either.” He added.

[sugrrru]

— all i did was bleed | g. satoru & g. suguru

part one: never going back again

2007

“You get it, don’t you, Sug?” The nickname rolled off Satoru’s tongue with such ease that it disgusted Suguru. Because he couldn’t get it, he didn’t understand. He was furious, he was heartbroken, and he felt as though he had been betrayed. But, he was still a good friend. And he remembered the promise they made to each other when they were in middle school. No girl will ever get between us. A promise was spoken by chosen brothers then. Black and white. Yin and Yang. Day and night. The tallest mountain and the lowest valley. And yet, they had chosen each other—more than friends, family– brothers. They were brothers. And no one would destroy that bond; no girl would come between what they had. 

So, Suguru nodded, smiling at his brother. “Yeah, I get it. She’s a great girl.” He told him, tilting his head to blow the bangs from his face. The pesky bangs always fell from his tied-back hair and stuck to his forehead. So, even if Kaia had been his first, even though he had been working up the courage to ask her out for over a year, Satoru had been the one to seal the deal. So Suguru gave her up, anything to keep the peace between him and his brother. Even if that meant losing the best friend he had fallen in love with to Satoru. “So, uh- where are you taking her for this date?”  

“I remember you telling me about that geek café she likes, with the computers and the games, that nerdy shit you like, too. So I booked the whole place for an hour. Gonna show her some of the best street art after and then take her to some of the best food vendors. Thanks for the idea, by the way.” Satoru laughed, sitting down on the arm of the chair, watching Suguru intently, the way his brows creased just slightly, corners of his lips twitching in a frown. “Hey, I don’t want to mess up your friendship with Kaia or anything, so you’d tell me if I was overstepping, right?” He asked him, reaching forward to grab a handful of candy from the dish on the coffee table, immediately shoving one of the chocolates into his mouth. 

Suguru was supposed to be the one taking her to the gaming café, showing her his favorite street art, and taking her to the best food trucks. That had been his date idea, word for word. He should have never told Satoru. Ever. He should have never even let Satoru meet her. 

“Yeah… yeah. I hope you guys have a nice time. You’ll have to tell me about it when you’re back, so call me.” He offered a smile, one that barely met his eyes. It was a poor attempt, but he knew Satoru wouldn’t see through it. He was too in his own head now about his latest conquest. 

Satoru nodded, pushing up from the couch and clapping Suguru on the back as he smiled, mouth full of chocolates. “I’ll tell you what panties she wore later. They’d be coming home with me in my back pocket if I had it my way.” 

Pig. But Suguru didn’t dare say it; he was a coward. He knew the type of guy Satoru was, and he still let him get close to his Kaia. “Watch it, Satoru. She’s still my best friend.” He warned, letting out a pained laugh to make a joke of his threat. He wouldn’t do anything. He was nothing compared to Satoru. “Bye, Satoru.” 

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Now, Suguru was sat at his desk, phone on speaker as he listened to Satoru rant and rave about his third date with Kaia, talking about how hot she was and how funny, and Satoru was expressing regret for writing her off as some prudish nerd. Suguru only hummed every few seconds to act interested; instead, he focused on the pen in his hands and the marks it made against the paper. He didn’t know how he had let it get this far because now Satoru had planned their next date aloud, talking about some fancy restaurant Kaia might be into because it’s vegetarian. 

“Are you even listening, Sug?” Satoru groaned through the phone. Suguru wasn’t sure how long he had been trying to get his attention or what for. “I think I might really like her… at first, I just thought she was hot, but-”

“She’s not just another notch to be made on your bedpost.” Suguru interrupted him, a bitter taste in his mouth. He loved his brother, but he also recognized that Satoru was a total playboy, going through girls like they were nothing but toys to be used and discarded. The lucky ones he’d let go once he got in their pants. The unlucky ones he strung along for weeks, even months, doing the bare minimum to keep them around. Suguru didn’t want either of those to be Kaia. 

“No… I know. Suguru, I- I might actually want something with her. I know I’ve always said I’m not the committal type but… she’s really great, Sug. I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard or had that much fun. Thanks for introducing us. I can’t wait to take her out again.” Satoru spoke, letting out a nervous laugh through a stretch of uncomfortable silence. “Everything okay, Sug?” 

“Just peachy.” The black hair boy responded, trying to put on his most chipper voice. He was thankful Satoru couldn’t see him, because he’d instantly call him out for the lie. Suguru was never any good at hiding his emotions. He tried. God knew he tried. But he wore his heart on his sleeve. He wasn’t casual about everything like Satoru was… and things didn’t come easy to him like they did to his white-haired brother. 

“You sure? Are you taking your meds?” Satoru pressed on. “Are they working?” He knew Suguru hated when he asked that or when Satoru asked about therapy and how it was going, just to ensure he was still attending. “You can talk to me about anything, Sugie.”

“Don’t call me that,” Suguru muttered, finally putting his pen down and directing his attention to Satoru, away from the drawing on his desk before him. “Am I not allowed to just- just to have a bad day? Does it have to be because I’m not taking my zombification drugs? Which I am, by the way. Every morning and every night.” 

“You had a bad day?” Satoru hummed, almost as if he was amused. “I’m coming over.” He told him. Suguru could see the smirk Satoru wore if he closed his eyes. “Granny won’t mind. She’s gotta be asleep at this hour.” 

“It’s two am. I think it’s safe to say my 71-year-old foster mother is asleep, Satoru.” Suguru sighed, closing his notebook and picking his phone off, taking it off of the speaker. “Is there anything I can say to convince you otherwise?” He asked, listening to Satoru let out a hm. “I’m... I’m fine, Satoru.” 

“Well, I wanna see you anyway. Fine or not. Do you want to come over here? The house is empty. Too empty.” Satoru would never admit it, but that was the real reason he wanted to go over Suguru’s.

The boys truly were Yin and Yang in every sense. The crack of lightning and the boom of thunder. Oil and water. Fire and ice. Suguru had been raised in and out of foster care and group homes for most of his adolescence and bounced around from family to family. Sachiko, the older woman he had been placed with three years ago, had been his longest stop yet. But soon enough, he’d age out of the system and have nowhere to go. So he devoted most of his time to his studies, hoping to get a full ride to the college of his choosing and have another four years of housing before panicking.

On the other hand, Satoru was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. His parents were the CEO and VP of some big international tech company. But no amount of money could make up for their absence. Nannies, drivers, and housekeepers had raised Satoru, and he could count on one hand the amount of hugs he’d received from either parent. Neither was ever home, maybe two or three days a month. Satoru never put much effort into anything, he never had to. Things came easy to him, not like they did Suguru. 

But it didn’t matter. They found family and belonging and solace in each other. Every time Suguru ran from a foster or a group home, he’d end up at Satoru’s, only leaving when his parents demanded it. The Gojo’s looked down on him like he was nothing. Always telling Satoru what a bad influence Suguru was– when it was the opposite in reality. 

“Why do you wanna come over here? There’s nothing to do. I can come over there, and we can smoke this joint.” Suguru countered, letting out a chuckle at the heavy sigh he heard Satoru let out. “Is that a yes? See, I must be okay if I’m willing to get off my ass and come to you.” 

“Alright, fine. But don’t walk. I’ll call you a taxi. It’s too late. Too many weirdos out on the streets right now.” Satoru told him. He was constantly nagging like he was somebody’s mother.  Suguru only laughed in response, but he wouldn’t put up a fight. He knew how the white-haired boy was.  Satoru could be the most carefree, nonchalant, unserious person in the world. But he was clingy, too, paired with a hefty dose of crippling anxiety. “Don’t laugh, Sugie. You’re a pretty boy… and with all that hair, some perv could easily mistake you for a girl.” 

“I’ll let you call me a taxi, but I draw the line at letting you call me a pretty boy. I’m getting off the phone. See you in an hour, Toto.” Suguru teased him back, the childish nickname causing warmth to bloom in his chest from the nostalgia. 

“Don’t call me-” click. 

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

And an hour later, Suguru was barreling into the Gojo family estate, stopping to wave at each and every security camera as he passed by them. When he was younger he’d make cruel and vulgar gestures as if it were Satoru’s parents on the other side and not the family’s own security team. He let himself in, the perks of having his own key, calling out for his brother as he left his combat boots by the door. He froze in the foyer though at the unmistakable sound of female laughter- Kaia’s laughter. His Kaia. Is this why Satoru had invited him over here? To gloat about how well the date had gone? To rub it in Suguru’s face that he had gotten the girl and not him? 

No. Satoru was many things, but he wasn’t cruel. Suguru knew that deep down, even if the pang in his chest never subsided… if the pain never dulled. Satoru was his best friend… his brother. He’d never do anything to intentionally hurt him. Suguru was just a coward, unable to speak up for himself. He contemplated pulling his boots back on and leaving, it’d be so easy, one foot after the other. He’d smoke the joint himself, the entire thing, allow himself to get so mind-numbingly high he wouldn’t remember a thing. But he didn’t. Against his better judgment, he followed the sound of Kaia’s laughter into the large family room. 

The girl was sat in an armchair, legs draped over the side, laughing as Satoru shoved a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. Both straightened up though at the sight of Suguru. Kaia excitedly stood to greet him, forcing herself into the dark-haired boy’s arms for a hug. “Suguru! I didn’t see you all break… I was beginning to think you’d fallen off the edge of the earth or something. I’m so glad ‘Toru picked me up! We haven’t hung out together in so long. I missed you!”

Suguru couldn’t stop his brows from knitting together at the nickname. Toru? Toru had picked her up. This might have been the worst thing to ever happen to him. They had been his friends first… and just like that he had been pushed out. He hugged her back though, burying his face in her soft honey blonde curls. “Hey, Kaia… missed you too.” He pulled away after a moment, looking down at her. She only smiled in response, her big brown eyes meeting his. He quickly looked away, clearing his throat as he sunk down into the plush couch. “So are we lighting this shit or what?” 

He rolled the joint between his forefinger and thumb, laughing as Satoru raced over to the couch next to him. His laugh got caught in his throat though when Satoru pulled Kaia down onto his lap, wrapping his arms around the girl’s waist, nuzzling into her neck. It made Suguru physically sick, the sight of the two of them. It wasn’t right. None of it was right. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He tried not to pay the two of them any mind, instead placing the joint between his lips and lighting it, taking a long drag to start it. He puffed on it a few times before he passed it to Satoru, knowing if he hogged the joint any longer he’d be accused of being greedy. And he couldn’t bear the sight as Satoru placed the joint between Kaia’s lips, encouraging her to take a hit. He searched for anything else in the room to fixate his sights on… the exquisite grand piano he wasn’t sure anyone in the Gojo family knew how to play… one of the fancy hand-painted family portraits hanging off of the walls… the overpriced artwork he was sure Satoru’s parents had paid hundreds of thousands or even millions for. 

Satoru had everything. Everything. And he couldn’t let Suguru have this one thing. And Suguru knew as soon as he watched Kaia turn to place her lips on Satoru’s and Satoru kissed her back, that things would never be the same between the two of them. 

[brisquad-unit-4402]

hello i’ve got some thoughts and updates for this blog.

i’ve been on a bit of burnout for a while, including life outside of writing. naturally the termination has sped up that burnout. i’m exhausted and struggling to be graceful about it, but that’s to be expected. i’m not one to sit on my feelings even though i’ve lacked the energy to write. which really bites because that’s my number-one passion really.

however i’ve taken some time to relax by diverting my attention away from social media and niji streams. i’ve relearned an old hobby and splurged a little too much on a new one, and i kind of can’t believe how much i missed drawing on real paper with a real pen and pencil. and thank god the love and deepspace sponsorship wrapped up before the termination, because that game has me in not just a chokehold but like one of those umbilical cords from astral projection. the silver cord? that

i’ve been watching other vtubers lately as well. i’ve always considered adding holostars en to my list but hesitated because everything else on my blog was niji-related.

consider this confirmation that i will be adding holostars’ tempus hq, vanguard and armis, and first stage productions’ avallum to my list of characters i will write for. i admit i’m not as familiar with armis, but i’ll be paying closer attention in the near future as i branch out from strictly watching niji only.

(might also be adding idol corp’s e-sekai? maybe? i watch them once every few months and i haven’t seen pochi or yuko stream since they debuted 💀 no clue on their gen 2 either)

i’ll be overhauling my masterpost for organization soon. so apologies for the horrors about to come… to be clear i will not delete any of my writing so don’t worry!

i’m unsure how much niji i’ll write in the future. give me some time to think as the situation hopefully cools down. i appreciate your patience.

and who knows maybe i’ll write for non-vtuber fandoms too

i think it’s about time i clean my inbox out soon too. i‘ll answer what asks i can and delete the remaining ones. i’ve had a few requests sitting in my inbox for nearly a year now and i’ve recently realized how stressed i was over them and learned about some boundaries i didn’t know i had beforehand, among other things, so so it’s about time i face them head-on. i apologize if i never got to your request! please don’t take it personally if i don’t answer your request. but above all else thank you for being patient, understanding, and kind enough to send in a request. even though i tend to bite off more than i can chew i always get so happy whenever i see a notif in my inbox and i appreciate your time for a little unit 4402.

even though i’m not watching niji streams atm i’m hesitant to stop writing for them because, like, i keep thinking of this clip of doppio saying he feels like he’s allowed to buy healthy/organic food because of fan support and donations, and among other reasons... it’s very easy to make conclusions on people you only know through a screen and i just can’t bring myself to cut them out so abruptly, even if i’m a fan creator on a site none of them use.

idk when i’ll post next and it feels nice to say that. i usually try to post once every 2 weeks, but considering how i’m trying not to think about niji right now and am instead embracing other parts of my life, i dunno. it’s nice. this blog is a major source of joy for me and it feels like i’m preserving what makes it so special for me instead of turning it into a chore. hopefully with time and rest i’ll have a clearer idea of where to go from here.

that’s pretty much everything on my mind, i think? thank you for bearing with me and my yapping. i hope to return soon and that the next time you see me, my blog will be cleaner, more expansive, and with a fresh mindset. take care of yourselves and don’t get immersed in toxicity. don’t forget to do what you love 💛

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

For the title ask game how about "Last Days"

Well, this seems right up my alley 😂 Thank you, anon! 💖

He's known it was coming for a while. Ice tried to hide it from him at first, but Mav knew him too well to buy his act. The cancer was back and this time there would be no stopping it. At first, Maverick was angry. How dare Ice try to keep this from him! After all this time, after everything they had been through together? What they meant to each other? How could you keep something like this from the person you claimed to love? But soon, he recognized the anger for what it truly was: pain. A pain so deep and consuming he just wanted to curl up next to Ice and fade away with him. But Ice would never forgive him if he did that. Especially not now that he was starting to make some progress with Bradley again. So, Mav did the toughest thing he had ever done in his life. He held his chin high, put a smile on his face, and resolved to make every single one of Ice's last days the best they could be. And he did. For the next month, they checked off every remaining item on the bucket list Ice had made when he first got sick: they had drinks with the all of the surviving members of the Top Gun class of '86, Maverick convinced Bradley to come by to see his uncle for the first time in almost five years, they flew together for the first time in the plane they had started building just weeks before Ice got diagnosed the first time, and they got married. As Ice deteriorated, it became harder and harder for Mav to stay upbeat and positive but he tried. And when it became clear it was nearing the end, Maverick drove Ice out to the beach one last time. As they sat there watching the sun setting into the sparkling blue water, Ice pulled out a notebook and pen. Though it took him longer than usual to get out what he wanted to say and his handwriting was more shakey lines than letters, Maverick always knew what he was trying to say. So, he waited patiently while Ice struggled to get his words down then took the pad when his husband offered it to him. It read: I know you hate goodbyes but I don't think we can put ours off much longer. This isn't how I pictured our story ending yet I wouldn't have had it any other way. I got to love and be loved by you and that was more than I ever hoped for. You gave life purpose outside of a cockpit and you gave me a reason to come home after every mission. So please, don't grieve my death. Instead, cherish my life-- our lives --together. And just know, where ever I end up next, I'll never stop being your wingman and I'll never stop loving you. Maverick only made it through the first line before tears began to blur his vision and by the end, he was sobbing so hard he couldn't really finish it. He gently climbed into the seat with Ice and cried into his neck as his husband rubbed his back and held him as tightly as he was able. Two days later, Ice passed away in his sleep. The second he woke up, Maverick knew. He felt it like a knife to the chest. And when he turned to look at the love of his life, there was no denying it. The funeral took a while to plan. Though Ice's death hadn't come as much of a surprise, he had been a Navy Admiral and it took a long time to organize a service fitting to his position. But the day soon came and Maverick found himself standing before his husband's casket. For a moment, he wasn't sure if he would be able to pin his wings as was expected, but a reassuring nod from Bradley gave him the strength he needed. After the ceremony, everyone else began to drift off or leave but Mav stayed behind, staring at Ice's Admiral portrait. And just as he reached out and brushed his fingers across his husband's face, a warm breeze blew through the cemetery. Smiling with tears in his eyes, Mav whispered, "There's my wingman."

send me a made-up fic title and i’ll tell you what i would write to go with it

[wandaluvstacos]

THE ONLY SECONDS THAT MATTER

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE IS UP!

Genre: Contemporary Romance Rating: 18+

Includes: Extensive horse nerdery + cowboys, mxm romance (1 trans + 1 cis), some discussion child abuse, some instances of trans/homophobia (it is rural Oklahoma, y'all), depression, occasional sex scene (but it’s a slow burn for sure)

Victor Ortiz-Bennett had some reservations about moving to Oklahoma, but his late aunt willed him a 70-acre horse farm, and he decides to fulfill his dream of running and operating his own training facility. Victor’s been around the reining horse show circuit for a while, and he’s ready to settle down, travel less, and spend more time with the horses he loves and away from the people he can do without. That is, until he picks up a horse at an auction with a bucking problem he can’t fix, and he has to take her to the one guy who can ride anything– Johnny Stearns, a retired professional rodeo rider.

Johnny Stearns is loud, chatty, eccentric, and fears nothing, exactly Victor’s opposite. However, Victor finds himself sinking into an odd friendship with this new foul-mouthed cowboy without a filter, diving deeper into the mess that is Johnny’s life until there’s no way to extract himself from it. Johnny may talk a tough game, but there’s more to him than he’ll let most people see. Victor knows getting in too deep will mean a rough ride, but if there’s anything Johnny’s taught him, it’s how to stay in the saddle.

Excerpt:

    Johnny leaned his arms on the top rail of the pen and watched the mare in silence for a few moments before saying, “I think if anyone can train a buckin’ horse to do anythin’, it’s probably you.”

            “I think you could do it, too.”

            “Takes a lot of patience.”

            “I believe in you.” Victor curled an arm through Johnny’s, rubbing a thumb along the light hairs on the side of his hand. “I think it’s a perfect match—retired rodeo rider with retired rodeo horse.”

            “I don’t have the money to pay you for her right now.”

            “That’s fine. I’ll cover her expenses for the first few months of training. It was my decision to buy her. Maybe tomorrow you’ll decide you don’t want her. That’s fine. I’ll do what I can and just resell her.”

            Johnny looked down at Victor’s thumb on his skin before curling his hand around and weaving his fingers through Victor’s. “Can’t believe you bought me a fuckin’ horse.”

            Victor snorted and leaned his temple on Johnny’s bicep. “Happy two-month anniversary.”

            “Most people just buy flowers.”

            “Shouldn’t date someone like me if you want flowers instead of horses.”

            Johnny smiled and leaned down to rest his head forehead on Victor’s temple. Victor turned and tilted his head up to catch his mouth. Johnny hadn’t shaved in two days, so it made the kiss scratchy and got Victor’s terminally gay heart more excited than a simple kiss warranted. When the kiss ended, Victor reached up to cradle his jaw with a hand to keep him close. Johnny’s face was pinkened with mild sunburn and in this light the scars on his face were more evident than ever, but to Victor’s infatuation-addled brain, he was probably one of the most handsome men in the world. One horse was nothing. Victor would buy and train a thousand for this man.  

[mithrilhearts]

Funniest passage from a fic

Thank you for another tag game, @i-did-not-mean-to!! This one is REALLY hard okay??

Honestly, this all revolves around one fic, the most crackshit thing I’ll probably ever write, and it’s always the best place to go whenever I’m feeling silly, it is absolutely the funniest, and that’s → Where The Shadows Lie

Chapter 2: Fucking Airpods

“What’s so important down here, Frerin?” “You have to watch this. I’ve discovered something today about modern technology that may help us in the future.” “This hardly seems important.” They came to a stop near the desk, watching Bilbo tap a pen against a notebook and seem focused on looking over some numbers. No doubt it was just business work, to which Thorin found incredibly boring right at the get-go. “Bilbo Baggins is a fucking twink,” Frerin cheerfully spoke, and Thorin practically squawked at the lack of manners. “Frerin!” Thorin hissed between his teeth, face ultimately twisting into something rather hostile before feeling a hand pat his chest to keep him from either tearing into Frerin or making a move to gain Bilbo’s attention. Thorin may not have found the human enjoyable, but there was still a thing called decorum. Something that Frerin severely lacked it seemed. “He can’t hear me. I’ve been standing down here for a while trying to get his attention with no response when he wears those little white things in his ears. They must be...super-powered or something!” Frerin could see the skepticism on Thorin’s face. “I even had Ori try. He’s nice enough that Mister Baggins wouldn’t ignore him, but he didn’t seem to hear the lad! Watch-” “Frerin, that’s enough.” “Bilbo, Thorin here is only a big huge grump because he hasn’t gotten laid in about six decades. He thinks you’re very handsome and wants to make freaky wild vampire sex with you-” “Frerin!” Thorin had his hands at Frerin’s collar, shaking the blond and noticing Bilbo shifted only when the desk was knocked a bit by that shaking. As Bilbo plucked one of the white earbuds from his ears, Thorin came to a halt, staring at Bilbo with a lump in his throat. “Thorin, Frerin, is something the matter?” Bilbo’s tone was calm and even, sounding oblivious to just about everything right now. “We were just talking about how nice this place was. I was showing Thorin some of the lovely pieces you have hanging about here. He has an eye for pretty and sharp things.” Frerin was grinning nearly from ear to ear, Thorin as pale as a sheet, which wasn’t a far cry from his normal hue if anything. “Thanks! My mother did most of the decorating around here, I’m glad you two enjoy it so much.” Though Bilbo wasn’t unaware of the words Frerin had been spilling all evening and had to keep from laughing to expose just how much he knew. Poor Thorin looked uncomfortable, and that was a great reward. Bilbo swore he could see a bit of that floppy hat Bofur wore from around one of the corners that led into the sitting room. “If you’re interested, I have a collection of old swords and daggers she used to bring me that I could show you sometime before your departure.” “That would be lovely, Bilbo. Thorin does so love to play with swords, and I’m sure he’d love to see yours.” And as if on cue, a terrible cue, Frerin was a small squeaky little bat, escaping before Thorin could throttle him any longer. “I…” Thorin cleared his throat and tried not to flounder as he felt a wave of exhaustion hit him out of the blue. “Good evening.” Tactful as ever, and Thorin made his exit on foot, tiresome as it was.

Non-obligatory tags for @necrobratz @fantasyinallforms @pomgore @sunnyrosewritesstuff @frosticenow @the-girl-with-the-algebra-book @blairsanne and anyone else who wants to play!

[concealeddarkness13]

WHG 21 Prompt 4 - Chess

About 1,200 words! Tagging: @ratracechronicler, @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, @drabbleitout, and @grailfish!

I knew enough about the Games to know I wanted to hide from my mentor. They’d talk about how I could win and tell me all about the Games, and that wasn’t important. I didn’t want to hear lies about how I could win. The Capitol wasn’t going to let me win, and anyway, I didn’t want to deal with someone staring at me, asking me to transform into a dragon, all of it. I was so fucking tired of everyone’s eyes on me.

So, I grabbed a plate of food and a bottle of alcohol and slipped away to the farthest car I could get to. Aeflin liked just injecting nutrients into me instead of feeding me, so I only really got to eat when I was at the Capitol, and even then, I barely had time to myself to eat. This would be different.

I made sure to eat slowly. I had already learned my lesson before when I had eaten too quickly and too much at one of the first parties I went to, and I had been sick the whole night. Luckily, Ashont hadn’t singled me out yet, or it might have been an even more hellish night.

I did actually get to finish my damn food and part of the bottle before someone showed up. I looked up and immediately transformed into my dragon form (about the size of a cat, with black scales, a flat head like an axolotl, and pink ruffles around my face) since it was more comfortable to be in around strangers, and it meant that I had an excuse to not answer questions. I growled at him, but he just sat down next to me and watched me with thoughtful eyes.

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Killian, and I am your mentor for this Games.” Oh brilliant. I made sure to grumble my protest, but he just chuckled. “Don’t worry. I know what the Capitol is planning for you. Believe it or not, I have been paying attention to what the Capitol has been doing, have even been to a few of their parties myself. I have an idea of a plan, and it might just surprise you.”

He watched me carefully, and his stare didn’t make my skin crawl like everyone else’s stares did. I chirped to let him know to keep going, but he just chuckled again. “I’d prefer for you to be in human form when we chat though, if that’s okay with you. Then I’ll know if you’re actually listening.”

I grumbled again but finally transformed back human, but I did make sure to keep my scales, tail, and fangs, so I didn’t look fully human. I smiled at him to make sure to show off my fangs as my tail lashed in annoyance. “There, I’m listening.”

He didn’t look bothered at all by what was clearly a threat. How the fuck did he survive his own Games? He leaned forward, his expression growing serious. “I know how the Capitol has treated you and how they will treat you if you leave on their terms. And I know of Aeflin. I believe you met my partner at the party where you last dealt with Ashont, and I wanted to reiterate that there are people who do actually care about you. I knew your parents, so that is why I have kept my eyes on you, and I believe you have ended up in a place they would have never wanted you to be.”

I knew where he was going with this, and I gritted my teeth and looked away from him before he could see the tears that blurred my vision. My parents had been gone for so long that I didn’t even remember what they looked like. “I have nowhere else to go. And anyway, I have to…” I had to make Aeflin proud. She made me into this.

“I have a place you can stay that’s safe. Safe from the Capitol and from Aeflin. Please, Ezra, I’m concerned with how the Capitol and Aeflin have been treating you. I can’t…I can’t force you to take this, and I would never dream of doing so. All I can do is plead with you. You don’t have to stay with people who just use and abuse you. I just ask you to think about it.”

I couldn’t look at him. I started shaking as I finally covered my ears. It was too much. Aeflin had expectations of me, and she only hurt me to make me stronger. The Capitol liked the entertainment I could provide, so of course they would use me for that. I hated the pain and abuse, but it was worth it to become what Aeflin wanted me to be. I had to make her proud. I just wanted to hear her say it. She had to say it. I was going to complete her task.

I shook my head. “Stop. I…I can’t.” I twitched and transformed back into my dragon form, curling up as small as I could and hiding my face from him. I couldn’t…this was all I knew. This was all that was safe. I couldn’t trust a stranger, that I would have any safe place.

Killian nodded. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Please, just think about this.” He stood up and left me alone. I covered my face with my feet, one of them a prosthetic version of a dragon’s foot, and covered myself in my wings until I finally got my emotions under control.

*

That night, after everyone else had fallen asleep, I snuck over to the food car, where the tv was as well. Checking out the other people who were chosen would be good, so I sat down and kept the volume as quiet as I could as I started the reviews of the Reapings. It wasn’t like Aeflin really let me sleep anyway, so I wasn’t used to sleeping so much.

The other chosen ones were impressive, and I hoped they would have a chance to win. But then I got to District 6’s Reaping, and I couldn’t help but stare.

His name was Safirel Beynleyra, and there was a glow about him. He even had golden light dancing on his hands. Like a Celestial. He had to be the one Aeflin wanted me to find. Why else would she give me this mission now, when I had been in the Capitol so many times before? He had to be the one Aeflin wanted me to capture. Now I just had to get close to him and make him trust me. He wouldn’t know I was here for him. Publicly, I was here as punishment. And it wasn’t public knowledge that I was hunting Celestials. He wouldn’t know. I’d be safe. This time, I had the chance to not even have to fight him. I just had to deceive him and capture him when he wasn’t expecting it.

I smiled a little, showing off my fangs. He wouldn’t suspect a thing. I knew how to feed someone’s ego enough to get them to let their guard down. Aeflin would be proud of me.

[maryelizagreg]

Black letter

Black envelope

Black paper

Black ink

I wrote to you

On the darkest night

The winter solstice creeping in

And no body knew except for me

Me and the black ink

On the tip of my pen.

There are so many things I want you to know

And I wish I could say but there aren’t words to cover it.

So I sent you a black letter

In black ink

In a black envelope

Written with a black pen

Thank you for the roses

I’ll say it a hundred times it’ll never be enough

I’ll say it in a hundred languages

You’ll never love me like her

And as for an explanation-

I simply don’t have the words

Thank you for the roses,

Said goodbye, in a hundred languages.

You said you like simple things,

So I sent you a black letter

In black ink

In a black envelope

In black pen

Thank you for the roses….

I was walking in the forest and brushed my hand

On a bushel of thorns

And my skin bleeds like red ink

Teeth marks bitten me

But thank you for the roses…

Thank you for the roses and thorns,

And the blood on my hand-

As I hold yours, it drips down on your watch

Keeping time in gold and silver

As if precious metals on our fingers

Gave us meaning

Just a girl you met on the street,

Probably didn’t mean much of anything

No diamond ring for engagement

Didn’t even get on one knee.

But thanks, for the roses.

I stood, at the door to our own house

But My name wasn’t on the lease.

And I waited for you to finish hiding something

Under the bathroom sink

You rushed to the door but I was watching from the window

Holding the phone to my ear

As it rang in the rain.

Then you have the audacity to

To think, after all the games, I’d still want to play?

I met you in the bar and told you to take a drink

I said, how many is there, or was I the first- who you’re cheating on your wife with

You told me I was the sixth

And you think I can live with this

Cigarette stain smell in the souls of my feet

And in every shirt I wear-

What was I to you, but a shiny new toy, to use and destroy

I’m not, a free pass, for pleasure

There’s no dignity, in this

And I’m ashamed of myself- and your sins

Being, the other woman….

I’ve never felt, more tainted- and you sealed your lips

Gaslit and withheld truth from me

Because you’re not a man of god who reflects with humility

So I went out searching for him

And you told me, I’d never find it, and I don’t deserve it

You repeatedly tried to drive it into me

That I was of less and less value, than I could imagine

Your ideas were ill-conceived and narrowly focused

You never let me speak anyway,

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a woman.

No matter what I say, you wouldn’t listen anyway.

So I wrote you a letter on black pages

With black ink

Sealed in a black envelope

With black pen

And said goodbye in a hundred languages

Despite I really liked you, I just didn’t like the way you treated me

I wasn’t allowed to have any qualms with this

You wanted blind subservience

Entitled, what did I owe you then? After everything, you cheated, and still wouldn’t admit it

Bonded over a commitment to the truth

Your sweet words said to me were sewn into my ears on a thread of lies

All your good deeds rancid with poison the whole time

Me I’m no fool, I knew and I let you do it to me

You’re not that slick. Only good at saying things people want to hear. I find this fact a little sad, but I accepted it about you, and wanted you to heal.

I saw your scars and I think it terrified you, I saw through your walls and, you weren’t ready.

You’ll never admit it, I don’t know why. What for.

A vessel for baptism by, fire…

I told you, I am a child of the light

And in its face, you will be exonerated-

Or you will hiss, burn, and boil, melting to the ground in a puddle

I didn’t think you’d be so wicked, the demons that hold you down came out of you to hold me down by the neck.

I hope to set each other free one day.

I hope you understand holy matrimony, and what it really means.

Life is short, and you got your wedding cake- and got to eat it too.

Don’t you think, me at 29- young and blooming with excitement- wanted a taste too?

I never got to wear a wedding dress, just a bunch of text messages from a jealous and obsessed woman.

When I asked for exclusivity, you told me, it wasn’t, in the budget.

You bought yourself braids, I brought you to the best places- you did it without me.

You asked for monogamy when I asked you what you wanted, and I pick you up from the strip club, smelling like a woman’s perfume.

You told me you wanted our home to be our home, it smelled like a bong and we didn’t have chairs to sit on for dinner.

I wasn’t allowed in, you left me standing out there in the rain- and lied to my face. Telling me, you were merely running, from ghosts.

How insulting you thought I’d buy it.

But thank you for the roses.

And after everything no apologies,

You asked me if I was scared I’d die alone.

I’ve already died before, so I’m not afraid of it.

You said you’re scared of nothing, except ghosts- apparently.

Im afraid of living lie, and I’d rather die alone basking in the truth, than be married to a lie

I told you this. Is the last thing I wanted.

So stale and dead, a marriage propped up on images and a false narrative, everyone plays along though none of it’s really true.

I want the love to be alive and real, and a heart of love that is pure. I honor truth

Not someone, who runs and hides in the night

From all the light

Like a monster- playing hide and seek, with me.

Deck of cards and roll the dice, I handed all your dirty things back to you in a bag of evidence

With photographs, and proof.

I said who was in that room with you, you said if I told you, they’d have you dead.

Yeah, sure does make a lot of sense- I’m sure you can explain your way out of this one

Another heaping pile of bull shit.

How can I build a relationship with someone who has no respect? No reflection. And you blamed it all, on me.

But thank you for the roses, I did everything for you, and they were pink…

And you didn’t ask how I was, just told me to keep your things, asked if I kept the ring

I waited for the truth and you wrote me poetry that was sort of a slap in the face,

You said you wouldn’t fold and tell me, even if I promised to be promiscuous

You referred to my body like a piece of a prize, a piece of game that you hunt, and take a slice of when you’re starving.

Your cowardly flesh mocked me as you tried to string me along further- than I deserved to be dragged already-

Not asking but demanding, I perform a certain way- and only then, would I deserve, your truth

Telling me to earn it. When all this time, I’ve put up with all this hell, you dare to ask more of me?

How many tricks does it take, to earn something that is owed to me outright, in a fair and healthy normal relationship no- I will not perform, just so you reveal to me, who you cheated on me with.

And then, you tried to call me delusional- novels and power points, and podcasts, explaining sexist, misogynistic, patriarchal, nonsense.

I never felt more invisible in my life. When I spoke you didn’t hear a word I said, much less understand.

You were so worried about protecting yourself, you never protected me.

You said you wanted to be a father, and wanted a family-

Then why act this way? And tell me, I’m not wife material? So what do you have me around for then? I left in an Uber because you just told me to my face you’re just using me for entertainment.

But thanks for the roses.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#86 Mary Anne and Camp BSC: Chapter 11

Vanessa Pike puts herself in contention for the “Most Annoying Camper” award and the BSC and kids go bowlling, spelling error intended.

Oh dear, we start out with a BSC Notebook entry...from Claudia! Though she must be upset because she opens the entry with Woe! Bowlling is an excelently fun sport. The way she spells bowling makes me imagine people hurling bowls down the alleys. What the hell...it's a really short entry (because writing a lot makes Claudia's brain hurt!), so I'll put it here for posterity:

Woe! Bowlling is an excelenty fun sport. Especialy when you play with kids. They are so funy. Even with the kid-sized bowlling balls, I kept expectting them to go right down the allie and into the pens.

Tumblr’s spellcheck has a huge task trying to keep up with all of that.

Anyway, the camp goes bowling today. Vanessa's being a pain in the ass and spouting off poetry about bowling. Whenever Vanessa starts up with her poetry, I just think of how someone in the LJ group said it reminds them of Mr. Friend from Rugrats:

“I'm glad that Camp BSC made Monday bowling day and included me!” See what I mean? How do the Pikes live with this everyday? Or have they learned to repress it by now?

Alicia, once again, is staying home with Mary Anne, who now has a reason to stay home instead of to just watch over Alicia. Mary Anne offers to help her with her camel costume but as she starts walking back to the barn, she sees Alicia is distracted, watching all the kids get into the cars, until Mary Anne calls her over. Foreshadowing? Let's hope so.

Claudia gets the wonderful honor of being in a car with Vanessa, who's sticking “bowl” into every song she can think of; we get a bowling version of “Heigh Ho!” “Row, Row, Row Your Boat,” and Claudia makes up “Take Me Out to the Bowl Game.” I wonder if Claudia wore her bowling shirt outfit she wore in another book.

If Karen wasn’t being such an unholy terror, I’d say Vanessa wins Worst Camper for this chapter alone.

They arrive with the three adults who deserve a medal for volunteering to chaperone: Mr. Braddock, Aunt Cecilia and Mrs. Pike. Mary Anne also adds, “Kristy, of course, being the organizer of the world, had called the bowling alley in advance and reserved enough lanes at the far end of the alley.” Well yeah, she'd call ahead! Imagine if she didn't and just showed up to the bowling with 20+ kids in tow? 

Typical shenanigans get underway. Jamie and the little kids have trouble lifting the kiddie-sized bowling balls, Claudia is left with the task of having to teach them to how to bowl. Claudia makes a gutter ball and Claire whines that she doesn't want that to happen to her. Uh...you'd think when Organizer of the World Kristy reserved the lanes, she would have asked for bumpers? It would prevent not only gutter balls but a lot of tantrums. 

Oh and Karen and her little group are quiet and not going on about how at a real circus camp, you wouldn't go bowling. Don’t worry, they're saving all their energy for later chapters.

What else happens...Linny gets a strike, Claire throws a tantrum after yet another gutter ball and in a move that's been done way too much in cartoons and the like, Jamie doesn't take his fingers out of the holes and ends up sailing down the lane with his ball, with Claudia running after him. They’re on a collision course with ~wackiness~! Claudia manages to free Jamie, just as the ball makes it way to the end and somehow he ends up with a strike too. We're not told if Claire threw the tantrum to end all tantrums.

And, thankfully, we're spared stories of Jackie Rodowsky getting his finger stuck in one of the holes or sticking his head into the ball return and getting clonked in the head by a bowling ball. Because you know he would have done that since he’s a WALKING DISASTER and all.

[chelseafcwmemes]

My time to shine and i’m very glad i’ve influenced my bestie into these thoughts too. Apologies for this maybe being long, i’ll make a “more”

Huge disclaimer this has nothing to do with the players at all!

There’s a few big main reasons why I don’t like Køge and they all stem back to the same thing: money. They love their money more than anything. I am aware that it’s important in football and I recognize that they have lifted the level of transfers and facilities a little in the danish league. Anyway

1) Their reasoning behind the women’s team

In a podcast a few years back the director of HB Køge flat out admitted that they didn’t care about a women’s team but only made it since their new US investor refused to buy into the club without it.

2) Money money money

The prices for their games are more expensive than seeing any wsl team - even in the big champions league games. I paid 3 times more to see any of the Køge games. On top of that when you’re at the game it is 90+ minutes of contant promotion. Either it’s what you can buy at the grill, merchandise or 50 call outs for sponsors. Each player have their own sponsor, which fair, but whenever that person is named they have to say “sponsored by..” and on top of everything else it’s just too much.

3) The atmosphere

I have NEVER been to a stadium with that awful atmosphere. Having been there around 7 times I always leave with a sour taste. No one watches the game, even the parents are just talking so loudy amongst each other that you can’t hear anything. Everyone is also constantly walking up and down and around so you’re constantly blocked by someone. I missed all chances + the pen at the Barcelona game due to people wanting to leave.

There’s constantly players parents screaming awful things at the ref and the other team - at the last Køge vs Brøndby, they kept yelling to the players that they should “go home to their disgusting vestegnen” when they were just playing fair?

Other than that there’s also just people treating it as a pub and yelling female hatred slurs at the players when they get a little too many beers.

4) The treatment of their “fans”

Again it comes back to money. You paid way too much money for a uwcl package and got assigned a seat. Our seats were by the sponsors who were treated way better at the cost of the supporters. They were let out 5-10 minutes after kickoff from their “fancy dinner” and spent the entire time talking shit about the women’s game amongst us usually people just trying to watch the game. Fair they mean a lot to the club but during those three uwcl games, it was clear they cared more about their comfort than us who paid to be there (again the walking in and out etc.)

5) the arrogance

The club is so arrogant and it’s clear they think the women’s league began with them entering it. They keep bragging about how they changed the league and made it more competitive and have “the best pitch” and let their women “play in the men’s stadium” when the fact is that the men plays in like 3rd division and they have no other stadiums. ((Also some of the arsenal players sated it was the worst pitch she ever played on))

It may seem like small things but coming together it is just a lot. The second you enter at a game it is all about you spending more and nothing about the game being played. It also annoys me that the club is doing nothing to stop all these things. Yes, it’s great they have the attendance record but is it really that great when only 5% cares about the game?

Why don't we like Køge anymore? 😅

@chelseafcwmemes explain please, you'll do it better than me