#I was hoping for a normal school year // this is kinda better ( Class );

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Meaty Post Since It's All You're Getting for a Bit

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

*** This blog will be on mini hiatus for most of May 2025. Not dead just busy. You'll be fine without me. Don't burn down this hellsite anymore than normal while I'm away.

April 2025 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Stubborn (Sun iQIYI) ep 1-2 of 10 - Mflow's latest high heat office romance involves best friend's younger brother, boss meets intern, bit of a love triangle, GL crumbs, and few other tropes.

It's... raunchy.  And it's giving me Deep Night vibrations. So to speak. Similarly cringe but still fun to have on our screen. I don't mind a "teach me daddy" trope. The leads are serving up BossNoeul in LITA and the other pairs seem decent too. It’s messy gay but it’s low stakes high melodrama soap opera messy gay so I guess I'm okay with that style. Shall we call this "sloppy gay"?

I'm not mad about it.  

The BangkokBoy (Thai Sat Gaga) ep 1 of 12 - Action, crime, and revenge meets gangs, street fights, mafia, and more. Oh my. Intriguing premise. Not a bad beginning in terms of acting and family strife set-up. The terrible dubbing is sending me. The terrible fight scenes are sending me even further. They better give us some BL within the next two episodes or I don’t know if I can take this level try-hard.

Sweet Tooth Good Dentist (Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - I am so happy to have Jimmy back on my screen. I can’t even tell you. No additional thoughts, only Jimmy in glasses.

Top Form (Thurs WeTV) ep 6 of 10 - this time I reminded myself going in that this is based on Japanese IP. But I still couldn't take it. I fast-forwarded through most of this ep. I knew it was coming but I still couldn’t stomach it.

Akin better get everything tested. And some counseling.

Boys in Love (Sun iQIYI ) ep 1-2 of 12 - Our only true high school BL from GMMTV this year and it's fresh faces for the youths and old favs for the teachers. I want to like this (and be surprised by it) as much as My School President in 2023 but so far that is definitely not the case. I do love the teachers (shocker) and I like the sides but I’m not sold on the main couple. With a kiss already in ep 2 the pacing is off. If this were Japan I would 't be worried, but this is GMMTV messing with the formula and that could be rough for all of us.

Side note... how does Papong look so daddy in Not Me and do damn ingenue here? Best chameleon in GMMTV's stable? I think so. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Heesu in Class 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 9-10 end - omg they are ridiculously cute dancing round each other. Please just kiss! Bah, this did take too long to resolve. I was worried about that.

The people (aka me) want more BL in our BL! Rah rah rah.

I also wanted more Heesu advising others and less of the hets hetting about the place. Sad we got not kiss but also no time to develop it.

Conclusion

What started out with a great core concept (KBL version of Sex Education) rather lost its way getting mired in the slowest of slow burns which effectively turned the BL storyline into a sub plot for multiple het dramas should have just added flavor. The acting was sweet all round, and sincere, and the lead character of Heesu very engaging. There was even some chemistry with his love interest, rare from Korea. The extra length (so rare in KBL) turned out to be just enough for them to hang themselves with. Should we be shocked that Korea didn't have enough faith in the queer romance thread? No, but I had hoped for better. This was almost great but missed the mark by simply not being gay enough. 7/10 

I will add the handling of the coming out sequence was... deft.

I think I need to go rewatch Light On Me.

Business as Usual (Korea Thurs Viki) Ep 4 of 6 - Gah this is so sad. They like each other so much and made such stupid mistakes! i guess Jin Hwan won't let it stick? Honestly I'm kinda glad this is a short one.

Something Is Not Right (Korea Weds Viki) ep 2 of 8 - The library scene made me laugh.  Every single on of them is such a drama queen. It's awfully angsty but i like it. 

Fight for You (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - Oh this is getting kinda good. That fantasy was lovely. The rest of the story is rough. But the chemistry is great.

Exclusive Love (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 12 end - Pretty much just a wrap up episode with lots of sex and a double wedding (never a good idea). But all of it was very pretty. 

Summary 

Taiwan gave us this weird premise of funeral home + mafia + secrets, yet somehow no excitement or real tension because they then slapped it with a pathetic excuse for a plot. Everybody in it was pretty, but the chemistry really wasn’t what I’ve grown to expect from Taiwan. The suits were nice, i guess? Ultimately, given the initial concept, this is remarkably forgettable. 6/10 

It's airing but......

Sashes and Hearts (Pinoy YT) 13 eps - Philippines is doing Drop Dead Gorgeous only all gay boys queening their asses off. Doesn't interest me, not sure if it's BL.

Last Meal Universe (Thai ????) 8 eps - An alien who has come to destroy earth instead falls in love with Thai food and then the Thai boy who cooks it - realistic, actually. I got a link to watch but it still wouldn't work for me, so I guess I'm waiting to see what happens.

Lost in the Woods (Weds Gaga) 7 eps - Not my thing, dropped at ep 2.

Secret Ghost (Thai Sat Viu) ?? eps - The trailer dropped and it looks so bad.

My Golden Blood (Weds iQIYI) 12 eps - dropped at ep 5. Recent thought process as follows: Oh, I think I would have loved this if it were OffGun.

What a thing for me to think.

Still, I'm not wrong.

The Rewatch BLigade!

Jazz for 2. I wasn't sure about this when it aired and I'm still not sure about it. I think I like it. But how much do I like it?

Cherry Magic Thailand. Still very enjoyable but there are more slow and lagging episodes than I remember. Lots of fast forwarding through the slow bits. But TayNew still deliver like only they can. Now I kinda wanna do a Deep Blue Kiss rewatch.

Wandee Goodday. I fast forwarded through everything that wasn't YakDee on screen together. Solid choice. I love them so much, and I suspect they might be the healthiest sexual relationship we have ever seen depicted in a BL. (On Viki these days)

Unintentional Love Story. Yeah a regular rewatch for me. I put it on to check something, and then just ended up running through the whole series. Will I ever recover from Gongchan's eyes? Not in this lifetime.

Your Sky. Yeah I finished the 3 ep special and then immediately rewatched the whole darn show. This is my 3rd or 4th time. I love it, totally my type of so bad it's good, so sweet it hurts, BL pulp. I don't ask for much from my BL. This show gave me exactly that much and no more.

Mr X & I - Us Against The World. One of those obscure shorts I love, this one from China pre 2016 crack down. Yep. Still love.

I'll be doing a ton of rewatching over the next month because of all my travel. Wish me luck!

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming in May

5/2 Pit Babe The Series 2 (Thai Fri iQIYI) 13 eps - More conspiracy and struggles and past coming out to play but even less omegaverse.

5/3 The Next Prince (Thai Sat iQIYI) 14 eps - Hotly anticipated 3 yr production featuring ZeeNewNu in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince fighting for his right it inherit. Plus Jimmy with a new partner. Should be pretty and hot if nothing else.

5/16 Knockout (Thai Fri WeTV ) 12 eps - A low quality less fun/funny version of Wandee Goodday?

5/19 I Promise I Will Come Back (Thai Mon WeTV) 10 eps - A Thai Taiwanese colab. Stars two Thai actors and Taiwanese identical twins from H3. However the lead and co-producer Tontae is actually a very good actor, so this could be good unless it's oen of those mostly intended to be a tourism advert for the Thai countryside. We shall see!

5/16 My Sweetheart Jom (Thai Fri YouTube) 12 eps - I admit I wasn't sold on this one from the trailer but Saint is back and I'm disposed to be intrigued by the kind of script that would pull hm in. But it is certainly not my kind of script.

May? Season of Love in Shimane AKA Ai no Kisetsu: The Season of Love (Thai) - Sequel to Kiseki Chapter 2 which I intensely disliked, must we?

May ? Sweetheart Service (Korea Gaga) - Strongberry is back with a fake dating trope?! After being pressured by his family to get married, Min U proposes to Yu Ha to pretend to be his fiancé. As they spend time together, feelings begin to develop between them.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Lap sit kiss teaching sesh with this boy you kinda hate who is now also kinda your boss... sure, why not?

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[babygirlwritessmut]

♡︎ part8. a complete silence rule

MINORS DNI!

・❥・pairing: vi (arcane) x fem!reader

・❥・ summary: you and Vi came to library for studying, but she can`t resist touching you

・❥・ genre: smut + kinda friends to lovers

・❥・ word count: 1.9k

✎ warnings: 18+, smut, dom!vi, oral sex, fingering, sex in public place

WHEN I NEEDED YOU masterlist

a week after Vi was discharged from the hospital, she returned to college. she wasn’t allowed to play yet, but she didn’t miss a single practice, even if it just meant warming up with the others and then sitting on the bench to watch. she recovered quickly, but if you hadn’t insisted, she would’ve tried to play on the first day back. the doctor had strictly forbidden it, and you made sure to keep an eye on her. though Vi was eager to return to her normal pace, full recovery required time, as the risks were still too high.

another bit of good news - Troy was no longer on the team or even at college. you saw him clearing out his locker as his parents and security escorted him away. when you asked your dad if he knew anything about it, he simply kissed your forehead and told you not to worry. either way, you didn’t mind; whatever your father had done, it had worked. truth be told, it even scared you a little, but Troy got what he deserved. naturally, all accusations were dropped, and your mom mentioned in confidence that your father had threatened Troy’s family, saying you’d press charges for assault and all the vile things their son had done. it was a relief to finally exhale; for a moment, it even felt like the air without your ex was lighter.

without Troy’s bullying, Josh finally left the team, free from the person who’d tormented him for years. he seemed to have started playing guitar in his garage. but the biggest surprise was that he’d found a partner. according to Trish, they met at the last match and hit it off, though homophobic Troy had always intimidated Josh, and for good reason. long story short, many people in his social circle felt better without him, and you were glad it was over.

after classes, you met Vi in the parking lot. she kissed you on the lips and wrapped her arms around your waist, letting her hands slide lower. smiling mid-kiss, she murmured, “maybe I should transfer to another school”

“and why’s that?” you teased, slipping your hands under her shirt, pushing her jacket aside, and pulling her closer, which made Vi bite your lip.

“I can’t focus on school or anything serious when you walk around looking so gorgeous and tempting,” she said, squeezing your hips and leaning you against the hood of her car.

“I can’t stand my loneliness, especially when you two are kissing so sweetly out here for all to see,” interrupted a voice. it was Trish, standing behind you with her arms crossed. “just a reminder, Vi, that I was the one who first told your new girlfriend how beautiful you are, so both of you owe me”

finally, you and Vi let go of each other and laughed. Vi took your hand and said, “and I’ll be forever grateful to you for it”

“ready to go?” you asked Trish, who was still grinning as she watched the two of you.

“I came to say I won’t be able to make it today. mom’s not feeling well, and I want to stay with her. do you mind if we reschedule for tomorrow?” Trish said, looking a little apologetic.

“of course, no problem at all. send her my best and wish her a speedy recovery. if she’d like, I can bring over some of my mom’s special soup; it’s really delicious,” you replied understandingly.

“that would be wonderful. thank you, I’ll text you about tomorrow” Trish gave you a quick hug goodbye before hurrying home.

“where were you two going, and what’s been rescheduled for tomorrow?” Vi asked, curious.

“the library. we have a history test coming up, and Trish and I often go there to focus. there’s a total silence rule, so we can’t gossip or listen to music. it sounds odd, but we get distracted so easily that the library’s our only hope,” you explained.

“want me to go with you?” she looked into your eyes. “unless this is some kind of special friend ritual?”

“no, no, nothing like that, but are you sure you want to sit quietly for an hour with a history book?” you raised an eyebrow at her.

“yes, especially since I have the test too. I’m not playing right now, so the coach won’t be able to get me extra credit for athletic involvement,” Vi said a little sadly, clearly missing her usual active lifestyle. but you weren’t giving in - the doctor’s orders were law, especially for Vi, and she deserved the best care.

“alright, then, let’s go,” you decided to steer the topic away from sports to take her mind off it.

“why an hour, though?” Vi asked, referring to what you had mentioned earlier.

“well, it’s not strict or anything, just a rule Trish and I came up with: an hour of uninterrupted studying, then any break or distraction we want. it’s like a little motivation,” you shrugged with a smile.

“if it’s the rule, then let’s follow it,” Vi said as she opened the passenger door for you and got behind the wheel.

ten minutes later, you arrived. there weren’t many people there, so you took your and Trish’s usual seats near the bookshelves. as you’d told Vi, there was complete silence, only occasionally broken by the sound of turning pages. Vi sat next to you, taking off her jacket and hanging it on the back of the chair. when she turned back, she caught you staring at her hands, biting your lip, which made her smile and raise an eyebrow. you felt a bit embarrassed, but it wasn’t surprising - you never focused on Trish this way, yet with Vi nearby, you realized it might be a little harder to concentrate.

you quickly looked away, pulling out a sheet with the test questions. each question had a list of recommended books to review. pointing out a few titles to Vi, you both set off to find them. the history section had plenty of books, so it took a little time to gather what you needed.

Vi leaned over to you and very quietly asked where she should find a particular book, you pointed to the bottom shelf, and she nodded. running your eyes over the stand with books, you saw that a little higher is hidden a book, the author of which is your teacher, usually it is occupied by someone, but today was a good day. when you reached for her, Vi looked up and was very pleased with what she saw. the length of your skirt gave a good view of your underwear, which made Vi feel incredible desire and attraction. she carefully stood up and slowly ran her hand down your leg from your ankle to your thigh until her fingers were under your skirt. you almost didn't let go of the book from your surprise, your eyes became round and goosebumps ran through your body, you wanted to say something, but Vi only put her index finger to her lips. she took the book and placed it on the shelf, leaving her other hand on your butt, glancing over at you, she smiled at you, desire burning in her eyes, you felt incredibly attracted to her, so you moved a little closer. her lips covered yours, you tasted her as her warm tongue slipped between yours, Vi pulled you closer to you, squeezing your butt tighter, her other hand ending up under your shirt, her thumb gently caressing your skin as her lips kissed you.

she pulled away from you and leaned into your ear, saying “the rule of complete silence, remember?”. her fingers ran up the fabric of your panties under your skirt and she ran her hand down touching you. she smirked when she felt how wet you were, running a finger over your clit you rested your head on her shoulder holding back a moan. every movement seems very slow and you wanted more, you could feel the vibrations going through your body when her finger started stimulating your clit more actively, you held on to her with your hands so you wouldn't fall. she covered you with her lips again and you felt her finger enter you, a wave of pleasure covered your body, you immediately started to move on it, kissing her more passionately, your hips moving and your body getting heavier. she wasn't about to stop, her finger digging into you harder and harder as you struggled to hold back a scream. only the rustle of the books reminded you where you were now, you almost didn't care, you could feel your wetness running on her finger, you were so wet and excited that you didn't care if they could hear you now, you wanted her touch, you wanted to cum from her fingers, you wanted to show her what pleasure she brings you. when her second finger was inside you tightened your grip on her, and Vi sped up as much as possible, your legs were just shaking at this point. Vi's other hand pulled your bra down and squeezed your breasts, you threw your head back and surrendered to the feeling, you came so hard it made your head spin. holding you, she pulled her hand out of your panties and pressed you against the bookshelf, kissing you again. her lips moved to your neck and trailed down.

“what are you doing?” you said almost inaudibly in surprise.

Vi just looked up at you and answered “you said we had an hour”

goosebumps ran down your spine and she returned to your neck again, kneeling, Vi placed your leg over her shoulder and lifted your skirt, putting her index finger to her lips again to keep you quiet.

her fingers gently pulled your panties to the side, and she ran her tongue over your pussy, collecting a mess you had done earlier. your body was so heavy that you grabbed the shelf with one hand to keep from falling. her lips pressed against your wetness, she didn't tease like before, her tongue was immediately inside you, you opened your mouth again in a silent moan and ran a hand into her hair. Vi's hands wrapped around your ass, and she ate you out greedily as you held back a moan. she was sucking your clit and running her tongue which was giving you incredible pleasure, you were moving your hips to ride her face as she explored your most intimate place. the second orgasm didn't take long, you came from her tongue even faster than from her fingers. you didn't have any strength left, but how nice it was. she put your panties back in place and climbed on top of you.

“I see you liked it,” she said teasingly. you just bit your lip and nodded, straightening your skirt.

“maybe next time I can sit on your face properly” you winked at Vi and ran your finger over her lips which were still wet from you.

“no reason to wait, you can still stand so…” Vi smiled and took your things and led you by the hand out of the library to the questioning looks of the others.

[jenscx]

BET ON IT — ahn yujin x f!reader

stereotypical jock ahn yujin is given a bet by her friends; take you, one of the smartest students in school, on a date. too bad you’re aware of the bet.

TAGS — literally all fluff, jock!yujin, yuj gets rejected a lot, popular x kinda nerd trope, ice hockey players r so fine, cursing

WORDCOUNT — 4.3k

when you first stepped into your new class, the tall brunette girl sitting at the back had caught your eye. she was wearing a varsity jacket and on her face adorned a boyish grin.

your cheeks had heated up when she sent a glance your way, and that’s when you realised, you had just found your newest object of infatuation. ahn yujin was just another hallway crush, blending into the crowd of high schoolers and standing out when she passed by your locker. she was eye candy for you and whenever you would see her, your day got significantly better.

once you were more settled in the school, you found out that yujin was unobtainable. way out of your league. a typical jock with a scholarship to an ivy league school. one that cared for neither studies nor academics. her only passion? playing ice hockey and with people’s hearts.

you had realised the latter when passing by a toilet cubicle. the sobs inside were too emotional and excruciating to ignore. despite your best efforts, your fist ended up knocking on the door and you had asked, “are you okay in there?”

inside of the cubicle was a girl, sobbing her eyes out. apparently, ahn yujin had promised to take her out on a date and even invited her back to her house but ended up ditching her. you had frowned, you could never have imagined the puppy-like girl you saw on the first day doing such a thing.

your infatuation for her slowly disappeared as you heard more and more stories of the atrocious things she would do to people. stomping on flowers, laughing at confessions and spreading rumours about people. ahn yujin was an asshole and a jerk. unfortunately she was an attractive one.

“y/n,” jiwon whispers, “is the answer x equals to negative five?”

you look up from your worksheet, for which you had doodled ahn yujin’s familiar smirk and quickly covered it.

“no. my answer is positive five. i think you made a mistake in the quadratic formula,” you explain, taking a peek at jiwon’s working. jiwon frowns and a shadow appears next to your desk.

the shadow actually startles you slightly. since the end of year examinations were nearing, lessons meant for teaching content were swapped to self-study sessions. normally, not a single person would move around, in fear of jeopardising their grades to fool around with friends.

thus, you were extremely confused as to why ahn yujin stood next to your table, eyes crinkling in a smile.

“hi,” she says, “i wanted to ask, how did you get a positive five for your answer?”

you can only stare at her in shock. due to her scholarship being on the line, you had thought yujin would have the top students tutoring her, as she had to keep an average of 70% for every semester.

so why was she talking to you now? wasn’t jang wonyoung a better option to ask?

“uhm, i think you forgot to…” you stare at her worksheet, “times 2 to the denominator.”

yujin’s eyes widen and you can’t lie that it’s adorable. jiwon shifts next to you nervously and you place a hand over hers, comforting her nerves.

“thanks! i owe you one!”

“oh… there’s no need…”

before you can even complete your sentence, she bounces back to her seat and smiles brightly at you. a quick whip of your head faces you with jiwon.

“did ahn yujin just talk to you?” she mumbles.

you rub the back of your neck, “i guess she did.”

for the first time in three years, you felt your feelings of infatuation resurface. ahn yujin, the girl at the top of your school’s social pyramid, just talked to you? and looked adorable while doing it?

and what does she mean by ‘she owes you’?

you just hoped it wouldn’t interfere with your studies. yujin was an enigma, one that would need countless hours of observation and detailed assessments to figure out her true colours. was her playboy act all a facade? or was this nice and cute classmate that you had actually just another one of her acting personalities to get what she wanted?

there were so many questions in your head that you didn’t even notice the bell ringing.

jiwon pulls you up and links your arms together, flashing a smile which snaps you out of your daydream.

“let’s go meet rei,” she says. you nod in agreement and let yourself be pulled all the way to the cafeteria. only at the table, you realise that you had left your phone back in the classroom.

rei had soon joined the table and you stood up abruptly.

“i left my phone in class, i’ll be back soon!” you inform your friends who wave you off. a quick few steps and you had arrived back at the classroom. notably, it was empty as students had all crammed to the cafeteria for a quick break before going back into revision.

except for the trio that sat at the back.

you raise your eyebrows and instantly recognise the smirk and brown hair of ahn yujin. she had kim gaeul and jang wonyoung sitting beside her, both of which had questioning looks on their face.

without much thought, you were planning to just walk in and take your phone swiftly. yet, the mutter of your name had made you pause in your steps.

“what was that with y/n during class?” wonyoung asks, head tilting in curiosity.

“what was what?”

gaeul scoffs, “you definitely knew how to do that question.”

“hm, did i? didn’t i look more like a stupid jock just needing assistance from one of the top scorers?” yujin laughs.

“you literally have me, the actual top scorer. y/n isn’t so stupid to buy your whole act. she’s actually a challenge,” wonyoung says. despite them discussing your intelligence in the open, you felt pride simmer at wonyoung thinking you were too smart to fall for yujin’s tricks.

“watch me.”

“okay… if she agrees on a date by the end of this month,” gaeul picks at her fingernails, “lunch is on me for the rest of the year.”

yujin chuckles, “it’ll be too easy.”

“and don’t fall for her,” wonyoung adds.

“still easy. this will be the easiest bet of my life.”

you hear the chair scraping against the floor afterwards. still debating on whether to retrieve your phone, you decide to ponder on what the bet entailed for you.

so one, yujin was definitely still a jerk. two, you would have to agree to a date by the end of the month for her to win. and three, she had no idea that you knew of this secret agreement.

huh.

you smile, finally having the upper hand over yujin for once. maybe this bet would teach yujin a lesson and help you live out your young fantasies.

“y/n!” you almost instinctively start to walk faster at the sound of yujin’s voice. all eyes turned to look at you and jiwon’s grip on your wrist tightened.

“good morning,” you nod. in one hand, a chocolate milk carton and in the other, a chemistry textbook.

yujin smiles sheepishly at you, “i was wondering… were you free this afternoon to tutor me in chemistry? i heard you were the top student of our year—”

“i’m not. wonyoung is,” you reply firmly. yujin falters for a second before bouncing back, “she isn’t free today since she has student council duties. i already tried asking her!”

if you didn’t know about the bet, you genuinely would have believed her convincing act.

“ah, well, i’m not free today.”

“oh? why?”

you gesture to jiwon, “going on a date!”

at that point, you hadn’t realised the impact of your words. those four words changed the trajectory of your life.

“d-date?!” yujin gapes.

you thought she looked like a fish. meanwhile, jiwon was desperately trying to drag you away from the crowd that was forming to witness ahn yujin being rejected.

“yup. so i can’t help you,” you say and wave goodbye to yujin, who stays rooted to the ground, almost jaw-dropped. truly, this was amusing. her reaction was terribly funny, considering that she had never once in her life been rejected before. and for you to be the one to do so? amazing.

yet, jiwon didn’t find it funny and began cursing you for ruining her school year. once word got out that her best friend was the one who rejected yujin, she would not be able to live a peaceful life.

this cycle of rejection only continued despite jiwon’s attempts to hide you from yujin. the requests ranged from, “can you help me with calculus?” to, “there was a new tteokbokki store that opened near school, wanna go together?”

you soon realised that yujin was determined to win this bet. with the countless amount of sweet post-it notes taped to chocolate milk cartons that appeared on your desk every morning… how could you not?

yujin had willpower, you acknowledged that fact. it was just a shame that you had overheard the conversation. maybe she would have actually won the bet by now.

while you were gloating about yujin’s loss, the jock was almost heartbroken with the number of futile attempts.

“she just isn’t falling for it!” yujin exclaims.

wonyoung raises an eyebrow, “i told you she isn’t that stupid. and your methods are so lame.”

“i thought they were cute,” yujin sniffles, pouting. the mere thought of her not being able to persuade a girl was devastating. this would mess up her reputation! she wasn’t the one who chased others!

“you’re not winning this bet,” gaeul states, snickering at yujin’s misfortune.

yujin, despite their claims, was still persistent in trying to get a date. it didn’t matter what she needed to do, she would do it. anything to win this bet.

she couldn’t lose her hard-built reputation as a heartbreaker. that was crazy. if she had to get down on her knees to beg…

well yujin might just consider it.

unbeknownst to the things yujin would do for a date with you, you walk with jiwon peacefully, almost reaching the front gate when your best friend halts.

“ah,” jiwon says out of the blue, “I can’t go home with you today. i need to show the new exchange students around school.” you frown but nodded anyway.

“i’ll see you tomorrow then?” you ask. jiwon sends a smile and quickly walks back to the school doors. you sigh, taking out your airpods when a tap on your shoulder spins you around.

ahn yujin again.

“hi,” she flashes a grin, “mind if i walk with you?”

“don’t you normally go that way?” you point in the opposite direction. yujin turns her head and laughs, “so you’ve been observing me?”

you think for a moment. “no, but your fanclub is waiting there for you.”

like you said, a group of girls and boys alike were standing at the other gate, eyes darting around for yujin. she tilts her head, reminiscent of your puppy back at home, and says, “i’m walking this way so i don’t get bombarded by them.”

“fair enough,” you take out your airpods again and try to drown out yujin’s attempts at conversation.

“hey!” she continuously taps you on the shoulder. you ignore her.

“don’t ignore me!” you do that.

“y/n-ssi..!”

ugh. you think. who the hell said that yujin was like a puppy? (you.) she was more like a parrot that couldn’t shut up.

“yujin-ssi,” you huff, “keep quiet.”

said girl just turns to you with a pout. eyes glistening with hope when you falter ever so slightly. with a sigh, you take out your airpods and raise an eyebrow.

“okay, i won’t ignore you anymore.”

“great! i was wondering,” yujin pauses, a hint of hesitation in her voice that you’ve never heard before, “do you wanna grab lunch together? wonyoung heard from jiwon that you liked the cafe nearby, i’ll pay.”

your voice wavers, “uh, sure.” no one could blame you; your favourite cafe paired with a free meal? anyone would have accepted (regardless of the puppy-like girl who shrieked in excitement).

“great!” yujin discreetly grabs your wrist, pulling you to walk faster. slightly taken aback, you willingly let yourself be pulled away.

on the way there, the typically chirpy yujin doesn’t say a word and instead keeps quiet. it’s only until you both find a seat in the cafe that she speaks up.

“y/n-ssi, do you hate me or something?” you watch as the jock twirls the fork in her hand, eyes gleaming with curiosity. perhaps she’s never experienced being rejected before.

“you’re just too much for me.”

“oh? what do you mean by that?”

you choose your next words wisely, “it’s a bit strange to have someone popular talk to someone so mediocre.”

yujin’s head snaps up, fury in her eyes. you think she’s about to storm out, offended by your words. yet, she grasps your hands into hers, passionately saying, “how could you be mediocre?! y/n-ssi, you’re like the most intelligent person in our grade, and you’re super nice and helpful too!”

you feel relieved. her outburst was just defending you. giggles escape your lips as you reply back, “nice and helpful? after rejecting you so often?”

the sight of yujin’s cheeks being flushed makes you marvel. it’s a rare sight to see the jock so flustered. she’s usually so composed and witty.

“ah… i was a bit insistent and annoying, i understand why y/n-ssi avoided me…” yujin mumbles shyly, letting your hands drop onto the table. your hands feel cold without yujin’s warmth but you quickly diminish that thought.

stop it, yujin is just playing with you.

you straighten up naturally, catching yourself before replying with anything flirty. you had to remember that yujin’s primary reason for talking to you was because of the bet.

unfortunately for you, yujin notices your change in demeanour.

“are you okay?”

“yeah,” you eye her carefully, “i’m just hungry.”

yujin sends you a toothy grin and starts another conversation. you end up talking about her puppy, azzo, her ice hockey training and your art portfolio before the food arrives. you realise even though ahn yujin was a stereotypical jock, she was probably smarter than most.

“y/n-ssi, can i call you unnie?”

you raise your eyebrow, “how do you know my birthday?”

yujin looks startled. frazzled, she quickly replies, “i just asked wonyoung… she’s close friends with jiwon…!”

“doing background checks on me?” you say, stuffing your mouth with the red velvet cake in front of you.

“no… maybe, yes? i was just curious!”

“you just want to talk informally, don’t you, yujin?”

the jock bows her head down, you hate how you find it cute.

“yeah… you caught me.”

you smile, “okay, you can call me unnie.”

it’s like yujin just won the lottery with the way she’s grinning. you would tease her even more but it’s better not to get attached to her.

after this month, she wouldn’t even bat an eye at you.

soon, you finish up your cake and yujin does too. when paying, you sense yujin’s impatience and chalk it off to being her realising that you wouldn’t wield so easily. shrugging it off, you try your best to make a quick exit before yujin drags you to somewhere else again.

after paying, you swiftly leave the cafe, only to be caught in yujin’s grasp again.

“unnie, can we exchange contact info?” her eyes are shining now. you hesitantly nod and hand her your phone.

yujin 🐶 [4.38pm]:

yn unnie! ^^

“there! i sent you a message,” yujin exclaims, “where’s your house? i’ll walk you home!”

“huh?! no… yujin, you should go home, i can walk by myself…”

the puppy-like girl only pouts. you’re mostly helpless to her, unable to really say no to a face like hers.

“unnie, i need to know if you reached home safely! bad guys would obviously kidnap a girl as pretty as you!” yujin scoffs. you try to hide your blush as you finally nod again.

yujin brightens up and takes your hand into hers, “let’s go!”

you feel bad for the younger girl; she was usually the one who played with other people’s feelings and now, she didn’t even realise that she’s the one getting played with. you wonder if yujin has ever seen the aftermath of her entertainment. would she be shocked that she caused someone so much pain? or would she just laugh?

the closer you got to your doorstep, the more you didn’t want to leave yujin. fuck, you think, that’s a bad sign.

how did yujin manage to attract you in only a day?

what the hell type of sorcery was she using?

“thank you for walking me home,” you bow, “send me a text when you get home too.” yujin nods but she stares at you expectantly. maybe she wanted you to invite her into your house?

that wasn’t going to happen though.

“uhm,” you mumble unintelligently. not even giving it a second thought, you quickly plant a kiss on yujin’s cheek and run into your house, slamming the door behind you.

what the fuck! you and yujin both think, your hand covering your mouth, shocked that you even did that. meanwhile, yujin traces the outline of your lips on her cheek with her fingertips, her face resembling a tomato the longer she stands outside your door.

yujin 🐶 [5.02pm]:

unnie…? ㅠㅠ

yn unnie 🤍 [5.03pm]:

IM SINSORYR

I DID IT WITHOUT THINKJNG

yujin 🐶 [5.03pm]:

ure too mean…

kissing me then slamming the door

yn unnie 🤍 [5.03pm]:

im sorry yuj

yujin 🐶 [5.04pm]:

ur lips r so soft tho?

do u use the laniege lip mask? ㅋㅋ

yn unnie 🤍 [5.04pm]:

what are u saying…

go home…

yujin 🐶 [5.04pm]:

yes ma’am!

(￣^￣)ゞ

ah fuck, you flop onto the couch, cheeks aflame, ahn yujin, i think you’re winning that bet.

it’s an early morning, gaeul hums happily, bathing in the sunlight. sometimes she’s glad that she has the window seat, when the sun rises and sets, she gets to watch it all. other times she’s not so grateful. like when it rains heavily and the raindrops splash at her.

life is great—

“yah, kim gaeul.”

the girl opens her eyes, facing an irritating sight; an ashamed ahn yujin. she only looked like that when her suitors yell at her, or when her mother nags her for her grades.

having known yujin for years, it was probably the former.

“which girl was it now?” gaeul huffs.

“y/n unnie.”

gaeul almost falls off her chair, did yujin win the bet? already worrying about her pocket money for the year, gaeul ignores everything yujin says, not until she hears, “i want to call the bet off.”

“what?!” she shrieks, “she didn’t agree to a date?”

yujin shakes her head, deflated but not for the reasons you’d imagine.

“i didn’t ask her on one,” she explains, “because… it didn’t feel right to do something so reckless.”

gaeul widens her eyes, naturally gesturing for yujin to continue. how could something like asking a girl on a date scare yujin? it was second nature to her at this point!

“asking y/n unnie on a date…” yujin’s gaze feels dreamy now and gaeul thinks she’s staring at a different person, “ah… it feels wrong to do it now..?”

“why? you wanted to win the bet though?”

yujin’s gaze hardens, “the bet isn’t as important as her.”

“y-yujin?! you’re saying that…”

“gaeul unnie, i like y/n.”

there’s no need to further explain. ahn yujin, the typical high school jock, falling for a girl that she only talked to for her own entertainment. how did she even manage to fall for you? yujin doesn’t know it herself. maybe it was after that day at the cafe, when you actually showed interest in her life. maybe it was the many online conversations you had with her, talking about mundane things. maybe it was the first day you locked eyes, yujin subconsciously always kept an eye on you afterwards.

or maybe it was all of that combined.

you tap your feet nervously on the bench. after you had kissed yujin’s cheek, she always brought it up, genuinely asking why your lips were so soft or even boldly declaring that she wanted another. maybe because it was rare for you to be so affectionate. even with jiwon and rei, skinship wasn’t so common. honestly, you weren’t sure what you were even doing with yujin. after many midnight conversations, you would consider you two friends. or perhaps even close friends.

yujin had forced you to wait for her to finish practice so she could walk you home. it was almost a routine at that point. there was some speculation of you two dating and you could imagine how happy that made yujin feel. yet mysteriously, yujin hadn’t made any super flirtatious advancements on you. the month was ending soon and the bet would end in her loss. so why wasn’t she doing anything? (not that you wanted her to do anything).

“y/n,” you turn your head. why on earth was kim gaeul and jang wonyoung staring at you from behind?

“yes…?”

the two girls glance at each other and rush up to you. you were currently standing outside yujin’s ice rink, watching her play hockey with her teammates. sometimes while playing a game, she would score and send you a wink. even through the helmet, you could see her mouth, ‘this is for you!’ it was embarrassing and cheesy but you still ended up flustered, covering your red face with your hair.

“we have something we need to tell you,” wonyoung starts off.

gaeul nods earnestly, “we’re very sorry but…”

you realise where this is going.

“ah, is this about the bet you guys and yujin made about me?”

wonyoung and gaeul both have their mouths agape, eyebrows furrowed. you almost laugh at their reaction.

“h-how did you know?!”

“i overheard you guys that day, i was going to get my phone but then i heard my name. sorry for eavesdropping.”

“no! we should be sorry for making that bet! but, if you already knew about it, why are you still hanging out with yujin?” wonyoung asks.

you chuckle, “i just wanted to see what she was planning to do. it was plain curiosity.”

“ah! but yujin likes you!” gaeul blurts out.

huh…?

“what?!”

“yeah! she told me a few days ago, that’s why she called the bet off,” the girl says. wonyoung groans, muttering about how gaeul shouldn’t have revealed that.

you absentmindedly say, “i like her too…”

the subject of your conversation immediately butts in, “you like who?”

you instantly clamp your mouth shut, heartbeat in your ears as you turn to face yujin. luckily you weren’t so out of it yet, if you were, you wouldn’t be able to control blurting out how handsome yujin looked in her gear. even brushing the ice off her jersey looked attractive to you.

“gaeul unnie, isn’t it time for us to leave?” wonyoung briskly drags gaeul out of the ice rink, leaving just you and yujin inside.

“aren’t you going to change?” you ask, facing a different direction from the jock before she manages to fluster you.

“i saw my two idiot friends talking to you, so i came here first,” she says, plopping down on the bench too.

“what were you guys even talking about?”

“oh… we were, uhm,” you stare at your lap, on top, your fingers playing with each other.

yujin senses you hesitate and places a hand on top of yours, holding it tightly.

“talking about… the bet you made about me,” you gulp, anticipating a huge, overblown reaction. you close your eyes but you don’t hear anything from yujin.

the silence begins to become worrying and you open your eyes, only to see yujin barely breathing, her eyes blown open and a pale face.

“unnie, i’m so sorr—”

“i’m not mad!” you quickly say, “i sort of had a crush on you on the first day of school, so having you interested in me, regardless of the bet, i mean, it made me feel good.”

“you had a crush on me?” yujin questions.

“yeah? like a hallway crush.”

“you’re seriously not mad about the bet?”

you shrug, “i was at first. but then your friends told me something.”

the girl’s body becomes stiff, more stiff than when you told her about your knowledge of the bet.

“they told me you like me, that’s what we were talking about before you came over,” you turn to her, “yujin-ah, is it true?”

yujin nods shyly.

“they’re so annoying… i wanted to have this cool confession but, ugh, unnie, i really wasn’t expecting myself to like you. is it crazy to say i’m happy that i made that bet? because it let me become closer to you?”

“yujin, before i accept your confession…” her eyes light up again, “can you tell me why you treated all those girls like that?”

“you mean…”

“you played with their hearts, how can i be sure that you won’t play with mine?” you ask.

yujin sighs, “honestly, i don’t know either but unnie, i need you to trust me that i like you a lot. i like you so much that i don’t know how to live through a day without thinking about you. everytime i experience something, i want to share it with you. please let me show my love for you.”

love… you smile, gently removing yujin’s helmet.

“you’re already thinking about love?”

yujin’s hair is unkempt, her bangs are swept messily, blocking her eyes slightly. yet, you can still see the whole galaxy in her eyes.

reaching out for her jaw, you pull her closer.

“ahn yujin, if you ever play with me, you’re dead.”

your lips are almost touching and you can feel her breath. almost panting already, yujin breathes out.

“there’s no point living if you’re not by my side.”

[jogetsobsessed]

Always an Angel - Paul Lahote

Ok, I've been obsessed with the lyric “Always an angel, never a god for a few days now. I don't know why all of a sudden but it's been all I can think about. I know there are a bunch of literal interpretations but I look at it as a version of “always the bridesmaid, never the bride”, always the side character, never the main character. So I hope this comes across how I want it to lol. 

Also, the timeline is kinda messed up in this, just live in ignorant bliss and ignore it pls, and thank you!

---------

Always the option, never the priority. 

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. 

Always the lover, never the loved. 

Always the fighter, never the fought for. 

Always an angel, never a god. 

------------

You were used to being sidelined, looked right through. 

No matter what you were doing, or who you were with, you were never the main focus. 

Growing up boys never spared you a glance, your best friends being the main targets for their glances and flirty remarks. You were never the one asked to dance, always the one asked to hold a friend's purse or bag. If the car was full on the way to get ice cream, you were always the one that was going to be left out. You never learned inside jokes and standing alone at parties, you didn't even know why you went, it's not like anyone would notice if you left anyway. 

At night when you would break and confide in the one person you knew truly loved you she would always question why you remained friends with the people that caused you so much pain. And through your blubbering, you would look at her like she was crazy. Explain to your mother that it must have been too long since she was a teenager. Because that's not how it works. Living in a small town the pool of potential friends is small, and having friends that treat you horribly is better than having no friends at all. 

You would apologize to her years later, after maturing, and realizing that the remarks you directed towards her were uncalled for. The anger you threw her way was misguided and unfair. She didn't deserve the way that you treated her. 

When Bella Swan moved to town you thought everything was going to change. She was from a big city, you didn't know much about Phoenix but you knew they probably didn't harbor the same small-town mindset that Forks did. 

She had no clue who you were. She didn't know the unspoken reputation that hung above your head like a storm cloud. 

And at first, you were right. 

The two of you became friends quickly, Bella taking a liking to your quiet demeanor, such a drastic change from Jessica and her goons. 

Your friendship appeared surface-level, to everyone but the two of you. In school, you both kept to yourselves and didn't talk much, even to each other. You would drag her along with you when you gathered the strength to hang out with your old friends. But you didn't do that often, seeing as they saw her as a shiny new toy and didn't treat her as a second-class citizen. 

But after school the two of you would talk, your friendship would come alive in the comfort of your own homes, and you two would look like actual teenage girls and not two seventeen-year-olds who should be on the highest dose of Lexapro. 

She was the first person that you saw as a true friend, that was until she committed, in your opinion, a cardinal sin. 

Bella had gone off the deep end and you hadn't seen her in days. But that was normal, she would spiral, skip school, and then show up as if nothing happened. So you weren't concerned, sent her a few texts checking up on her and getting one-word responses back. Then the following Monday came around. You were waiting by your truck, lazily twirling your hair, eyes glazed over as you dissociated waiting for the bell to ring. 

But amid your dissociation, you were pulled back to reality when a shiny black Volvo came to a screeching halt a row over. You knew who drove the expensive car so you tried to be as nonchalant as possible as you peered over your shoulder to get a good look at the owner. 

You wished you hadn't. 

Because getting out of the passenger seat was the person that you considered your best friend. Your best friend was sitting in the passenger seat of the car of the guy you had a crush on since he arrived at Forks High School. 

She knew about your long-standing crush on Edward, she was the only person other than your mother who you had told. It came tumbling off your tongue one late night about a month after she had arrived in town. And you had sworn her to secrecy, begging her to never tell another soul. 

But now it seemed to not matter, she had broken your trust and your heart. 

------------------

The next year drug on. With Bella being completely infatuated with Edward you were left to crawl back to your old friends. They accepted you with barely open arms, reluctantly saving you a seat at the lunch table, sometimes sending you the location for Friday night activities. 

When the Cullen clan abruptly left Forks Bella did to you exactly what you had done to your friends months earlier. Part of you didn't know why, but you let her back in, although this time keeping her at an arm's length away, never fully trusting her, 

Eventually, however, Edward came back. First making his appearance walking hand in hand with Bella in the dreadful hallways of Forks High School after she had disappeared yet again for a few days with not even a courtesy text. 

This time seeing them together didn't feel like a hot knife was piercing your skin. How could it, you no longer felt the same that you had for Edward. Because he had proven himself to be just like everyone else. He made you feel invisible. 

------------

The heat of late spring had arrived and you took in all the warmth that you could as you walked down the small rocky path to the mailbox. Graduation had come and gone and you found yourself in isolation. The people you had forced yourself to be friends with in high school no longer mattered. You didn't have to play the uncertain game of high school politics anymore. Starting university was on the horizon and while you dreaded leaving the comfort of home you were excited, this was going to be your chance to reinvent yourself. You were no longer going to be the person no one cared to look towards. 

Pulling out the various envelopes you felt your heart stop beating when the light lilac envelope was pulled to the front. You knew what it was, you didn't even have to open it. But you did, ripping it open, praying that you hadn't torn apart the coveted invitation. Sure enough in bold letters, you read “Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan request your presence…”. 

The phone call with Bella that night was awkward. You haven't talked much since graduation but she assured you that she wanted you to be at the wedding. You had wanted to push and ask her why she was rushing to get married. I mean you along with everyone else knew that they had only known each other for a year and hadn't been dating for the entirety of said year. But she sounded happy, the happiest she had ever seemed. So you didn't say anything, instead prying for details about the impending nuptials. 

-------------

Thousands of flowers cascaded down creating a custom perfume in the air. Your eyes darted between the bunches of wisteria and sweet peas and you were in awe. The wedding had snuck up on you. So much had happened over the summer leaving you feeling unprepared to start school in the fall. Leaving you to make one of the hardest choices that you had ever made, deferring your acceptance into your top school to the following fall quarter. 

So when you got a reminder on your phone that read “Bella and Edward wedding tmr” you were at a loss for words. I mean you had everything you physically needed, a dress, a present, the right pair of shoes. But you had forgotten one important thing, a date. 

It wasn't going to be the first time you had shown up to an event without one, but it was probably going to feel the most embarrassing. 

So here you were, standing next to your group of “friends'' from high school as they gossiped about the possibility of Bella being pregnant. “What do you think?”Erik asked you, giving your arm a soft nudge with his. “I don't know guys '. Jessica of course had a counter, pointing out that out of the group you were the closest with her. Luckily before you had to come up with an excuse of why you didn't know for certain the music began, signaling that it was time for everyone to turn their attention to the altar. 

A few tears managed to slip down your cheeks as you watched your sometimes best friend say “I do”. In that moment all the turbulent times the two of you experienced didn't matter. You were just happy to be in the presence of two people who were madly in love and confessing it to each other, permanently sealing their love with a dramatic kiss. 

The reception area was decorated equally as beautiful. You were grateful that Bella, or more likely Alice had set you close to the dance floor. That way you could watch people without feeling like a total loser, hanging out in the corner by yourself. At least this way you could still enjoy the happiness of the other guests without feeling the gross amount of body heat from the dancing bodies. 

The ice was melting quickly in your lemonade, the night had not been rewarded with a cool late summer breeze so you were appreciative of the cool drink. The night had seemingly been going according to plan. Your ‘friends’ had migrated to another table across the dance floor with the excuse of wanting to talk to some of the other guests, but they had not returned in almost two hours so you were holding your breath. 

Mentally you were planning your escape plan, glancing at your watch. Waiting for an acceptable time to leave, not too early into the night but not too late that you were leaving only minutes before the bride and groom's big exit. As you granted yourself yet another glance at the heirloom watch you wore and looked back up a gasp unwillingly left your lips. 

The mystery man, who looked almost familiar, chuckled at your surprised look. Confidently he took the empty seat next to yours, turning his body to give you his full attention. “May I help you”, you didn't recognize your own words, your tone was a bit rude and you didn't even give him a second to introduce himself after she sat. 

“I’m Paul Lahote”. 

Once he gave his name to you your eyes moved up to meet him and the electric shock that you felt in your veins almost felt real. There was no doubt blush forming on every inch of your face and you were praying that the low light of the Edison bulbs did a good job at protecting some of your dignity. You gave him your name, barely squeaking out your last name. 

Things like this didn't happen to you. A man that looked like him didn't talk to you. A part of you wondered if Jessica or someone like her had already turned him down, because let's face it, you were always the option but never the priority. 

“I think you should share a dance with me, no pretty girl like you should be sitting alone at a wedding”. The flare in your cheeks was visible now, you were sure of it. No matter how low the light was you could have sworn a red glow was emitting from your body, like an accusing halo. 

“Paul…you don't have to dance with me, I was just getting ready to leave”. Gathering your belongings as you begin to stand up. “No!”. He said, eyebrows raising to the top of his forehead once he realized how loud he exclaimed. Sheepishly he looked around offering small smiles as an apology to a few of the guests who looked at him like he had three heads. 

“Please, I noticed you when I walked in before the ceremony and I haven't been able to shake you from my eyeline all night. I don’t think I can take no for an answer”. 

The fact that your heart was still caged behind your chest was an act of god. Because at this point it should have flown away due to how hard it was beating. You were at a loss for words. The thought that someone was putting you first, taking interest in you was unbearable. And you were crumbling at his gaze. 

His outstretched hand found yours that you slowly had begun to uncurl from against your body. Swiftly he whisked you out onto the dance floor, pulling your body flush to his. 

Clumsily your feat matched his falling into routine with his steps, your body swaying in unison to the light melody. He hummed along softly to the quiet music as he kept a firm grip on you, almost like he was afraid to let you go. 

The song ended and awkwardly you looked around not knowing what to do. Paul however looked happy as can be, letting go of your hand but keeping the one on your lower back in place. He led you back to the table where you had spent most of the night, pulling out your chair before you could even react. You thanked him as you sunk into the back of the chair trying to ground yourself. 

“Man, I feel like the luckiest guy here at this whole damn wedding I got to dance with the prettiest guest of them all”. He said matter-of-factly triumphantly, taking a sip out of the glass he abandoned when he first approached your table. You scoffed, there was no way he was being for real, the alcohol had to have been getting to him now if he was saying such an untrue statement. 

“I think you've had enough”. Your voice was shy and your eyes barely peeked through your almost closed eyelids. The embarrassment you hadn't felt earlier had returned and you were suddenly hyper-conscious of everything happening around you. 

“Doll this stuff doesn't make me feel anything, you, however, are making me feel alive for the first time”. His drink was abandoned yet again as he scooted his chair closer, invading your bubble, and causing you to squirm under his gaze yet again. 

“Paul, I'm flattered but again I think your choices are impaired. There's no way you feel anything like that for me”. 

Paul was out of his chair before you could continue your babbling, cutting you off by capturing your lips in his. 

After he pulled back for air his forehead rested against yours, the two of you matching your breathing. You were yet again at a loss for words, kissing the hottest boy at your best friend's wedding was not on this year's bingo card. But as per usual it seems Paul had the perfect thing to say, “My angel forgive me if this is forward, but l you need to let me love you, I have a feeling that you're gonna be stuck with me for a long time”.

[thelovelyruin]

𝖘𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 : yandere choso x fem reader

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : choso fell in love with you freshman year and it was finally time to make you his.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 : smut, porn with plot, vaginal sex, praise, love, manipulation, murder (not you!)

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 7.1K

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from saccharine by jazmin bean.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello lovelies, thank you so much for reading! this was a request i’ve been working on for a while lol; i hope you enjoy it; if so, follow me for more. au revoir!

18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT

Everything you do, I'm obsessed with you.

“Exciting, isn’t it?”

“Huh? I mean, yeah it’s cool.”

“Are you rushing too? I really wanna go Kappa!”

“That’s, uh, aren’t they kinda…”

“What, cunts? Yeah, I’d fit in nicely.”

When Choso first met you during rush week a couple years ago, you were an aspiring freshman looking for a sorority to pledge to, and he was a normal guy. Sorta. You’d spoken to him once and he became absolutely in love with you. Not like he hadn’t been with other girls in the past, a few relationships here or there. But you were different. Not like any other girl he’d seen. You hadn’t shared too much with him that day, but he was determined to figure out, well, everything about you.

I don't mean to scare, but you're just so cute.

It started with your name, which he’d simply just asked someone in your class. But then, Choso needed to know more, when was your birthday, were your zodiac signs compatible? He’d gotten that information from stealing your campus ID out of your purse while you two were in class together. Choso was paying really good attention to other things too though. He’d paid attention to your screen while he sat behind you, online shopping when you were supposed to be paying attention to the lecture. That’s how he found out what size you were and the brands you liked, but other things got a little trickier. He noticed the way you did your makeup, it was always so pretty, but it’s not like he knew what any of it was, so he’d slowly started stealing things out of your makeup bag. It was harder to get your perfume, though, until you reapplied it on the campus lawn one day. Pink sugar, huh? Sweet just like you. Choso wanted to be even better, he’d send you flowers with no receipt of who sent them, an array until he found your favorites. He’d pay for your food when you went out to eat, then leave to remain anonymous. He just loved seeing that smile on your face whenever he surprised you with something, always grateful, looking around to see if you could catch your secret admirer, but blushing when you realized you wouldn’t. God, you were perfect.

Lucky for you, you had actually gotten into Kappa. You walked around on this high horse though, one of those kiss-my-ass kind of attitudes. Not like anyone was gonna check you for it, well, ‘cause you were hot. Always well dressed, always groomed, always punctual. There was nothing anyone could really say about you other than you being a bitch, at least never to your face. Little did you know, Choso was your bitch. If you ever even glanced at him, he’d almost faint, and as the sophomore and junior years came and you’d gotten classes with him, he’d go back to his dorm and fuck his fist at the thought of you every day. But now, it was Senior year, and he was running out of time to make you his.

Every move you make, you're fucking sweeter than a cake.

Choso originally planned to just ask you directly, but he had to make sure it was gonna be perfect. He couldn’t leave room for error in the possibility that you weren’t interested at all. So, he’d gotten as close as possible to you. It wasn’t stalking, it was just studying an interest. He was pretty good at photography, so he got hired as a photographer for school events, such as parties or games. He’d walk around and take pictures of everyone like usual to not raise suspicion, but whenever he could, he’d snap as many pictures as he could of you, slipping them into his pocket. When there was too much going on at the party downstairs, he’d sneak upstairs to find which room was yours, for research purposes of course.

Well, that research went directly to Choso knowing which window to take pictures outside of. You were so oblivious, often leaving your curtains wide open as you just got out of the shower, dressed in nothing but a towel. Now, Choso never got a snapshot of you naked or anything like that, but the hopes of the day he could got him pretty damn hard. He’d take pictures of you walking around campus, doing fundraisers with your sorority sisters, running for the pageants that you always won, with the exception of Miss Junior, who you exposed for cheating on her boyfriend so she’d be out of the running. So, you’d won that too. You were practically perfect, Choso felt you were made for him, there was a true possibility he could nurture and care for you, allow you to let your guard down a bit and let him someone in. He imagined himself taking you out to all your favorite restaurants, he had all of them written down along with your favorite menu items. Nights in his room cuddled up watching all of the movies you liked, you’d be so excited to see all of your favorite snacks already waiting for you. You’d wear that glitter lipgloss you loved, he’d make sure you had more than enough, considering he’d already bought two tubes for whenever he made you his. He imagined making love to you, hearing you moan for him as he pleasured you, then put you on his chest as you fell asleep, resting his eyes as he held you. You two could truly be in love. 

I'd love to wipe these other bitches out, so it's just you and me.

But, you had a fucking boyfriend. It’s not like he didn’t like seeing you with other guys. He fucking hated it. Choso thought the guy was pretty scummy, he had that douchebag personality and always looked at guys like Choso like he was a piece of shit. But that asshole was truly a piece of shit. Megumi, or something like that. Choso didn’t bother doing too much digging up on him because it wasn’t gonna matter very soon. You guys had been dating since the beginning of the school year, not very long, but that didn’t stop him from talking to other girls when you weren't around. He’d forget your dates, and make you cry. Wouldn’t post you on his socials, almost pretended he was single. Choso had half a mind to stab him to death, mostly because he didn’t like the way he treated you, but also because then he wouldn’t be in the way anymore.

Then, there were your damn sorority sisters. Those bitches were definitely in the way. They took up too much of your time, making you busy every day with planning and meetings, to do what? Party and maybe, fundraise? He’d see them sometimes talking shit about you, saying you were weird or a bitch, or something else that wasn’t true about you. Choso would never say those things about you or treat you like that. You deserved someone who actually loved you and cared about you, none of these other distractions. He would give you the world, but that meant getting rid of the world you had first.

Oh, oh, this shit is scaring me…

Now, when Choso originally thought of doing this, he thought it was a little nuts. It was a little extreme, sure, but it was just an obstacle in the way to get to you. Sometimes, we do bad things for the people we love. It doesn't mean it's right, it means love is more important. 

Choso originally thought of actually stabbing Megumi like he wanted to. That fell quickly when he really considered the situation. Megumi was on the lankier side which meant it would be more tactical to get a hit in, plus he’d need to find a time he’d be alone in a discreet location to hurt him with no one noticing. Not that he’d really care if someone saw, it would just mean he wouldn’t be able to live the rest of his life with you; that was not an option. Shooting would be just as difficult, shell casings and the sound of gunfire could get him in deep. Could steal the brakes from his car, but then there was the possibility you were in it when it crashed, and for that, he’d never forgive himself. He’d need something that anyone could have done, an accident perhaps, something that wouldn’t kill Megumi, just get him out the fucking way. Then he got a little idea.

Don't wanna stick my fingers in this, or I'll start to bleed…

“Hey, Megumi!”

“Do I know you?”

“Well, we literally live on the same floor, but um, no. Anyways, wanted to talk to you about something…”

“Get on with it.”

“It’s her birthday today, your girlfriend that is.”

“Oh yeah. Well, why the fuck do you care?”

“We’re kinda close, wanted to get her something, but I’ll be too busy with classes to give it to her. Do you mind giving it to her for me?”

“You got my girlfriend a gift, bitch? What the hell’s in this box?”

“Well, that’s kind of a surprise for her…”

“Get the fuck out of my face before I beat your ass. Leave my girl alone, you fuckin’ weirdo.”

Megumi had slammed the door on him, just like that. Usually, Choso would’ve been really torn by his insult. He was pretty pissed Megumi forgot your birthday too, but how could he be pissed, truly? Not when a sweet resolution to Megumi’s shitty ways was on the horizon.

“Megumi’s like totally dead!”

“Omg, what do you mean he’s dead?”

“Well, he went to the hospital ‘cause he came down with like a fever or something? Todo said he couldn’t even talk when he found Megumi in the hallway and his eyes were all watery. The doctors said he died of, shit, what’s it called again? Whatever, like he couldn’t breathe! I don’t know what the fuck happened, but damn, really sucks, ya know?”

“Babe, I’m so sorry. To be fair, he was a dick.”

“Yeah, you’re right. He didn’t have a big one either TBH.”

Well, shit. Choso didn’t mean to kill him, not really. He knew Megumi was a fuckin’ asshole, though. Paired with someone crushin’ on his girlfriend and his ego, Choso knew Megumi was gonna open that box. And what was in it? Initially, Ricin covered the inside of the box, which when inhaled, caused damage to the respiratory system, which Megumi could technically recover from. Choso had extracted the Ricin from some castor beans. The same castor beans that were crushed inside of the cupcake sitting in the box. All 10 of them. Originally, Megumi would’ve lived, had he just thrown it away and not have been nosy, and if he did end up giving it to you, Choso would be there to intervene and he’d deal with that explanation later. But Megumi chose to be a nosy bastard, open it, AND EAT THE CUPCAKE! It was comical, really, considering Ricin can’t be found in an autopsy, so Choso got away with it. It’s okay. It had to be done. That greedy asshole got what was coming to him, and with him out of the way, Choso was cleared to enact Phase 2.

It's sweet like saccharine, what I’d do to have you sitting here next to me.

A couple of days after Megumi died, you pretty much got over it, walking about as if nothing happened. To be fair, he was cheating on you all the time, lied to you, and overall treated you like shit, so it wasn’t that hard. What Choso didn’t expect was for you to get kicked out of your sorority house.

“Listen, babe. Your dead boyfriend is really throwing off the vibe here. Plus, it’s bringing a lot of bad looks to the rest of us because it seems like you honestly don’t give a fuck that he died, and truthfully, neither do we, but damn bitch, try acting like it!”

“Please, Chapter President, I can act like I care, I just-”

“Sorry girlie. You’re still a sister, don’t worry. You do have to leave the house though.”

Choso felt a little bad. A little. They really were bitches, but this was perfect. He’d just saved himself from starting a gas leak at the Kappa house when you weren’t home. He didn’t like that your feelings were hurt though, and he beat himself up about it. Choso himself wasn’t really a good guy, killing your boyfriend on your birthday? Almost killing your sorority sisters before they pretty much kicked you to the curb? He was doing the exact opposite of being a good boyfriend. He’d be on his toes from now on, can’t risk ruining his chances with you. However, it was all in good light. You were becoming more and more ready to fall into his arms.

Apparently, you pretty much kept to yourself and stayed in your room. Your classwork was slacking a bit, and you couldn’t live at the house, but that didn’t stop you from still trying to be involved, participating in some campus events, and fundraising with your sisters despite your exile. You were a normal girl, humbled for sure, but Choso didn’t like that very much. He never intended to break you down like this, while you were still sweet in his eyes, he knew you loved the life you had before. He can’t unkill Megumi, which wouldn’t make sense anyway because Choso was your boyfriend now, but he’d give you a life even better than the first. One where you and he were together.

Like cherry pie, will you be mine?

Now, Choso was a real sweetheart, getting you so many gifts for when you came along, preparing how he’d approach you, compliment you, fuck you. But he was getting a little impatient. At this point, it was already the tail end of courses before winter break so he didn’t have much time to see you every day, even though he’d make that happen regardless. Plus, all of the shit that had happened to you would wear off in a couple of days, so he needed to act now. Choso knew he couldn’t make you fall in love with him overnight, and it would be too hasty to try to take it slow with you now. So, he had no choice. He was gonna kidnap you.

Now, “kidnapping” is a rather strong way to put it. In reality, Choso was gonna come to see you and talk a bit, but if that didn’t work, he’d hold you at knifepoint and make you come back to his dorm with him to enjoy all of the things he’d set up for you! He would never hurt you intentionally, so it’s not like he was gonna use it, but he had to make you think he would. He wished kidnapping you was legal, why wouldn't he want to be able to love you and take care of you all the time? It’s okay, you’d learn to love him back. After all, Choso wasn’t your ‘maybe’. Choso was your ‘one’.

Sweet to the core, I want some more.

Choso decided he’d make his move on you the night of the last Kappa party of the season, too many people for anyone to notice him running off with you, plus he knows you’d look so pretty in your party dress, hair all done up, heels making those legs of yours look so pretty. And you did! Except, you were crying. When Choso got to the party and spotted you, you were sniffling as you walked out the back door of the house. Now, he had to be strategic about this, so he exited out the front in time to catch you walking from the back. When he’d gotten outside, he saw you walking down the sidewalk, but it wasn’t very well, your heel had broken and you were having to walk barefoot. He felt terrible seeing you like that. You looked so sad, so scared, just broken. Choso had to make things right.

“Hey, you okay?”

I love you.

I can hear your words breaking down my core…

You looked up at him with those beautiful doe eyes of yours, bloodshot and watery from crying, but still, you looked stunning.

“Oh, hey Choso. Honestly? No, I’m like not okay at all.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, my ex died and everyone’s making a super big deal about it. Like, people kept coming up to me asking questions and stuff like I was there when he died or something.”

“Oh, um-”

“Sorry, I know I sound like a twat right now, but he cheated on me like all the time! It’s honestly a long shot to say we were even together, not be cocky or anything, but I think he dated me to make himself look better. Plus, he got me in hot water with my sisters, like he’s haunting me after death or whatever.”

“Sounds like he wasn’t really a good guy…”

“Yeah, pretty much. Anyway, now I have to walk back to my stupid dorm with no shoes because I fell over like a klutz and just embarrassed myself to the nines. I don’t even wanna go back there, just makes me sad, ya know? I came out to this stupid party to get my mind off things and it’s like things are just bleh. It doesn’t even feel like anyone likes me anymore. I wish someone just loved me for me, ya know?”

I think about you every day at least a hundred times or more.

Choso walked up and hugged you, bringing you into his embrace. It was a bold move for sure, especially with the knife sheathed on his waist, but he just hated seeing you cry like that. Soon, you’ll feel how nice it is to have someone care about you so much. To have someone who wants to revolve their entire life around you.

“It’s okay. Know you don’t know me very well, but I’m here for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t wanna be too forward or anything, but you can come back to my dorm for a few, that is, if you don’t wanna go back to yours.”

“That’s so sweet, thanks!”

Fuck, this was perfect! He didn’t even have to threaten to kill you! Choso offered to pick you up, which you happily agreed to, holding your heels in your hand as he carried you back to his dorm. On the way, you talked about a bunch of stuff you liked, mostly things he already knew about you, but there were a couple of new things that enticed him. You’d stopped crying, that sweet smile back on your face as you found comfort in Choso’s arms. He’d gotten back to his dorm fairly fast, not wanting to waste much time to get things rolling. He figured he’d start with telling you about his love for you, really seeing if you-

“OMG, YOU HAVE THIS???”

You pointed at the movie poster on his wall, one of your favorite movie. He’d studied it a lot, trying to figure out why you liked it so much. He’d watched it over ten times by now, buying the poster as a touch when you finally came, which worked!

“Yeah, it’s a pretty good-”

“Pretty good? It’s like the best movie ever!”

“We can, uh, watch it if you want.”

“Yes, I’d love that!”

Choso was so lucky. Here you were, sitting with him on his bed as you watched the movie. You’d stop every few minutes and point out something about it you knew a fun fact about or laugh at the parts you’d seen so many times. You were so damn cute. You’d pretty much forgotten all of the stuff going on, able to just relax with him for once. Don’t you see how nice this is? How special things can be? 

“Oh wow, it’s getting late. Shit, I still have to walk back.”

Just like that, the movie was over. You looked tired, not just physically but mentally too. You couldn’t leave though, that’s not how this was gonna go.

“Are you sure you’re good to walk?”

“Whatcha mean?”

“I mean, your heels are broken and it’s too dark outside to be out there by yourself. Something could happen to you.”

Fuck, Choso was a little too bold with that last part. He was probably coming on too strong, he’d need to fix-

“You’re worried about little ‘ol me?”

“Something like that…”

YES. He was so fucking worried that sweat was about to drip from his face, red with anxiousness that the love of his life was about to leave him behind.

“Well, you could always walk with me. Or do you just wanna spend more time with me?”

You gave him a little smirk and wink, it went straight to his dick as he tried to think of a way to respond.

“I, um… yeah, I would.”

Your answer to his statement would be the deciding factor between you staying or him picking up that knife from his jacket on the chair. Fortunately for you, you smiled and put your things back down, sitting on the bed as you looked up at him.

“Fine, but we’re gonna watch another movie. Your pick this time.”

You make me afraid, come closer, wait no, go away…

Ten minutes into this movie and he felt like he was gonna fucking explode. This time around, you’d gotten closer to him. Instead of sitting at the end of the bed, you laid beside him, not quite touching you, but he could definitely smell you, and fuck, you smelled so good. It was becoming painful to not touch you, but he couldn’t risk fucking this up. You looked so nice like this, chest moving up and down as you laid comfortably, eyes low, obvious you were getting tired. 

“Hey, Choso?”

“What’s up?”

“Thanks for, ya know, being nice to me. I’m not anyone’s favorite these days…”

You looked so sad, but Choso couldn’t be happier. You were starting to recognize the only person who really cares about you is him!

“Yeah, but you’re my favorite.”

“Really? But, you barely know me.”

Choso actually knew you very well. Probably better than you know yourself.

“You’ve just got that type of personality that’s really easy to like, is all.”

You sat up now and looked Choso in the eyes, making him blush instantly.

“Oh yeah? So, you like me?”

Choso started stuttering and sweating, flustered beyond reason as you gave him one of those smirks. At this point, he didn’t even have to tell you. His body language was more than obvious.

“I was just kid-”

“Yes, I mean-”

You both looked at each other in shock. Why the fuck would he say that? You were fucking joking. Choso was stupid to think you were serious, not like he really had any chance with a girl like you. But that’s okay. He was gonna make one. Although, he didn’t know whether to love or hate you right now, most likely both. You looked up at him optimistically, like you were waiting on his response, but also blushing a bit as he nearly popped a blood vessel in front of you. He couldn’t even speak, choked up on his words as you brought your hand on top of the one he had leaning on the bed.

“Tell me, do you?”

“I do, for a while now.”

“So, why not ever talk to me?”

“Because you’re pretty hard to talk to.”

“How’s that?”

“You’re usually, um-”

“A bitch? Yeah, I am. But these past few weeks have humbled me.”

Choso wanted to laugh a little. Of course, it was because of him and the precautions he’s put in place for you two to end up together. You didn’t need to know that part though. You looked down, that same broken look you’d been putting off all night. Everything in him told him to stop, don’t be too hasty and he could probably get back to the plan, but it hurt him to see what he’d caused. It definitely didn’t help that you were crying again, bringing your knees to your chest as you fell into the realization of how messed up you felt. Choso pulled you into his arms, laying your face into his chest as he rubbed your back. You felt so warm, so soft, he didn’t want to let you go. Ever. 

“It’s not your fault. So, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“Thanks, you’re right.”

It was hard to feel like the bad guy when you were smiling at him, finding comfort in his words. You two were dangerously close now, eye contact had him feeling like a deer in headlights, while you remained cool and collected, like usual. That’s one of the main things he loved about you, despite all of the crazy shit going on, you still try to appear fine, but that was far from the truth. He’d be a shoulder for you to cry on, someone you could depend on and pour your feelings into. Give your heart to someone who’s worthy of loving you back and spending their every breathing second devoted to keeping you happy.

Saccharine, what I’d do to have you sitting here next to me. 

You’d kissed Choso softly, leaning in slowly enough to feel his breath hitch on his lips when he realized what you were doing. It was perfect. Your lips felt even softer than he thought they would, gentle and loving as you brought yourself closer, closing the distance between you. He had to get his head together, he’d practiced this part over and over again, and all he had to do was focus and execute it. First, cup your face with his hand. You smiled into his lips when he did this, allowing him to move to the second step, and bring his hand to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss. You softened into his touch as he laid your back on the bed, opening your legs to let him on top of you. You were so sweet, moaning softly into the air as he began sucking the skin of your neck. Choso wanted to claim you, he’d finally gotten to kiss you and he needed everyone to know you were his. He sucked a little harder and felt ecstatic when you didn’t stop him, instead groaning as bruises began to flower on your skin.

“Choso…”

Shit, you moaned his name. It felt exhilarating, something he’s been waiting for for so long finally coming true. It lit a fire under his ass, coming up to kiss your lips once before he brought his lips back down to your collarbones, moving lower as his hand massaged your side. Once he’d reached the skin of your breasts, he’d stopped, looking up to you for the green light to keep going. Even though you didn’t really have a choice in spending the rest of your life with him, consent was still pretty important to him, so when you gave him a nod, he took off. Choso brought his fingers to the hem of your dress, pulling it over your head as you brought your arms up to aid him. God, you were beautiful. Your tits were on full display to him now, nothing covering you but a lacy pink thong. He was gonna start hyperventilating, your tits lifted as you breathed, nipples calling out to him like they needed saving. He brought his lips down swiftly and wrapped his tongue around one of them, immediately putting the other between his fingers to pinch as the rest of his palm massaged your breast. You started whimpering for him now, touch-starved since your boyfriend died, but Choso hoped it was also because he was doing things better than anyone you’d been with before. He alternated his mouth, groping and sucking as much as he could, relishing in the feeling of your tits in his face for the first time. As much as he could stay there all day, he knew you needed more, so he kissed his way down your stomach, lips grazing your pantyline. Choso sucked the skin of your stomach as you bucked your hips against him, turned on as he took care of you.

“Choso, please…”

He looked up into your eyes as he brought his lips off your body, fingers hooking into the fabric of your thong as he pulled them off of you. Holy fuck. You were soaking wet, lips glistening with your juices as your hips shifted slightly to invite Choso in. Without hesitation, he brought his lips down to your pussy, beginning to devour you. You tasted amazing, drinking the nectar of a fruit long awaited and it almost made him regret not planning to kidnap you sooner. You smelled so fucking good too, your pussy engulfing all of his senses as he ate you like his last meal. Your fingers found their way into his hair, moaning his name into the air with every lick of your clit. Sideways, up and down, circles around your bud, anything he could to hear you moan for him, to make your pain go away. He’d brought your legs over his shoulders and rested his hands under the arch of your back, angling your hips so he could eat you exactly how he wanted. Messy and slow, he took his time spreading your juices all over his face as you panted and pulled at the sheets. He was self-indulgent, tongue pumping in and out of you as he lived out his fantasies of eating your pussy.

“Choso…I-I…”

Shit, you were close. Choso was about to make you cum! He doubled down immediately, bringing his arms over your thighs to keep you in place as you felt your orgasm approaching. He’d picked up his pace too, tongue moving at a hungry pace as he anticipated your cum in his mouth. The hand you had in his hair gripped tighter, Choso taking it as a cue to bring his lips up and suck your clit, suction bringing your bud against his tongue. You came fast and hard, grinding your pussy against his face as you came for him, his name slipping off your lips over and over as you rode out your high.

You’re sweet to the core. 

You looked so pretty for him, chest rising and falling as you caught your breath. Choso slowly kissed his way back up your body, lips finding themselves on yours. This kiss was different from before, more intense and confident. At that point, you’d already started unbuckling his jeans, kissing him feverishly as you helped him take his clothes off. Hovering over you, he looked at you in awe. Legs on either side of his, big doe eyes looking up at him, waiting for him to fuck you.

“Holy shit…”

Your hands found his hair, gripping and tugging at it as he slipped in at a slow pace. Choso took his time, exploring the walls he longed for the feeling of. Every stroke nearly sent him over, wet and warm, you were like heaven wrapped around his dick. You felt even better than he’d imagined, much better than his fist he fucked to the thought of you. Especially with how you were moaning for him, it was driving him crazy, all he could do was praise you.

“You’re perfect…so fuckin’ perfect…”

“I know…”

God, he’s never felt like this. You were sucking him in like you were made for him, holy shit, he was losing his mind. Touching him, feeling your warmth on his shaft as he fucked you faster. You were so beautiful, lips pursed as you breathed up and down, eyes fluttering as he fucked you.

“You feel so good, baby…”

“Choso…”

His name was killing him. He’d put in so much time to make sure he fucked you exactly the way you needed him, he had to make the first time perfect. A man that could care for you. Love you. Please you. Choso finally had you, and he was going to give you the fucking world.

I need to hate you before it's too late…

“So fuckin’ pretty, baby…”

Choso gripped your legs tight as he fucked into you fast, making you scream his name out into the room. You were doing this for him! Moaning for him! And you felt so fucking good wrapped around him, more than anyone ever before. There wasn’t anyone before you and there wasn’t anyone before him. Your world would revolve around him now like his revolved around you, every waking moment of being in love would be magical. 

“Choso, I-”

“Let me have it, baby. I’ve waited so long for it…”

He didn’t care what he was saying anymore, too high on you and your pleasure that he couldn’t think straight. If you were gonna cum for him, he needed it now, like his life depended on it. Something to signify the beginning of all of the pleasure he’d give you from this point forward.

“You know how long I’ve wanted this, baby? Fuck, I’m close…”

“That’s it, baby, let go, let me make you feel good…”

“So pretty, cumming on my dick like this…”

Choso was so fuckin obsessed with you. You came down like an angel, eyes fluttering as you murmured his name softly, body melting into the bed. He halted inside you as he came, losing his mind over the way your nails dug into his arms. You two lay there panting for a bit, Choso’s arm bringing you into his chest. So beautiful like this. He’d finally made it, you in his arms, right where you belonged.

Before I crave you…so please go away. 

“So, I’m not going back to my dorm tonight, am I?”

No, of course, you weren’t.

“Do you really want-”

“I don’t want to.”

Choso was shocked to hear your words. You actually wanted to stay here with him, he didn’t even have to scare you into doing it! 

“Do you have a T-shirt or something? It’s kinda cold in here.”

“Uh, yeah, let me grab-”

“No problem, I’ll get it!”

Stop it. FUCKING STOP. You were getting too comfortable, about to open Pandora’s box with your hand on his closet door. Choso should stop you, whatever it would take. By the time he’d gotten to the knife, you’d opened the closet, pictures of you all over the walls. Choso lingered behind you now, knife behind his back as he waited for your reaction. You just had to be so fuckin nosy, you’d ruined everything. 

“Choso…are these pictures of me?”

He gripped the knife tightly in his hand as he watched you look through them. He couldn’t even speak, heartbreak and murderous intent flowing out of him. Every picture put another pin in his heart. Photos of you around campus, through your dorm window, in class, all open for you to see. You brought your hand up to one, pulling it down as you looked over it. The picture he took of you on Valentine’s Day. You’d been sitting in class that day, sad because Megumi hadn’t gotten you anything, which Choso figured he wouldn’t. That’s why he had three dozen roses delivered to you on the lawn later that day, eyes brightening as you held them and read the card: “Happy Valentine’s Day, Princess. ~ your secret admirer.” You were so damn happy that day, so perfect. Now, you had to die.

“It was you, huh? All this-”

“Yes. It was always me.”

You pulled another one down, the one of you winning Miss Sophomore. Your face had the brightest smile, holding that crown on your head as you cried tears of joy. You smirked at it, cheeks blushing a bit.

“I look really good in this one, glad someone got a shot of it. So, you liked me this much?”

You’d turned to look at him now, giving him a confused face. Probably because Choso was sweating buckets. His hand shook behind him as he looked at you nervously, analyzing everything about you, any sign that you were scared or wanted to leave.

“I’d call it more than that.”

“So, why not-”

“Because I wanted things to be perfect. I wanted to be perfect for you.”

You gave him a nervous nod and turned back to the closet, pulling down a photo of you in your room back at the Kappa house.

“How’d you do it?”

“I…huh?”

“How’d you take this without getting caught?”

You looked back at him now, a serious look on your face that told him he better fuckin’ answer. What was he gonna do? There was no point in lying to you, everything was there for you to see.

“I learned you and the other girl’s schedules to make sure everyone was asleep.”

“So, what else ya got? Pictures can’t be the only thing.”

Choso pointed to the top shelf of the closet hesitantly. You brought down the bin carefully, sitting it down on his desk as you opened the lid.

“What the fuck, Choso? I was looking everywhere for this lipgloss!”

You’d begun rummaging through the bin, picking up things in remembrance of when you lost them. A couple of hair ties, eyeliner, lipstick napkins. You acted as if there was nothing wrong with this, and it was making it really hard for Choso to read you. His hand alternated between wanting to drop the knife or use it, heart pulsing frantically as you tried on old jewelry of yours. Satisfied with your findings, you moved back to the closet, pulling down the other box on the shelf. The one with his gifts for you.

“Wait! You’re not supposed to see that yet!”

“What is it?”

“It’s something really special... just please, you’re gonna ruin everything!”

You shot him a concerned look and rolled your eyes, walking back over to the bed to take a seat. 

“Answer a couple of questions for me, ‘kay?”

“I-I…”

“Question one, when did this start?”

“...Freshman year, rush week…the first time we met…”

You looked at him surprised. That meant he’d been stalking in love with you for almost four years now and never acted on it.

Just confiscate you, my teeth are in pain…

“Question two, what’s behind your back?”

“Nothing…important…”

Choso was shaking in fear, so much so, he dropped the fucking knife. You both watched it fall to the floor behind him, your mouth agape in shock as he frantically bent over to pick it up. He couldn’t tell what was more awkward, him dropping it on the floor or him picking it up and sitting it on his desk like nothing happened.

“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT?”

“DAMAGE CONTROL.”

“FOR WHAT?”

“FOR WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!”

“YOU WERE GONNA STAB ME?”

“NO, I WAS JUST GONNA MAKE SURE YOU DIDN’T LEAVE!”

“ARE YOU FUCKIN’ CRAZY?”

“I’M NOT CRAZY, I’M IN LOVE!”

You scoffed and chuckled, stunned at his statement. Choso was bright red, on the verge of a panic attack. So many thoughts, so many mistakes, you knew almost everything now. All of the things he wanted to do for you, show you, give you, it all meant nothing now. Still, you sat there completely calm, aside from the fact the guy who just fucked your brains out was possibly about to kill you.

“Question three, this is an important one. Did you kill Megumi?”

“It was ruled a death from natural causes.”

“Yeah, tell that shit to someone else, did you kill him?”

Choso didn’t really care to hide things now, too far gone. Especially not how he got rid of that asshole you called a boyfriend.

“Yes, I did; and I don’t regret it.”

“How’d you do it?”

“I poisoned him with Ricin.”

“RICIN? HOW THE FU-”

“I put it inside of a box I told him was supposed to be for you.”

“Why?”

“Because he was a terrible boyfriend to you and you didn’t deserve to be with a guy who couldn’t even remember your birthday. Not to mention, he would’ve never died if he didn’t open what was meant for you, nosy fucker.”

“So, you were jealous? Most people would just beat the guy’s ass, you definitely knocked it out the park with that one.”

“Yes, he didn’t deserve to have you! He took you for granted when there was somebody much more fit to make you happy!”

“And that’s you?”

“Yes, just…please…don’t leave. Not before I make things perfect for you!”

You sat back on your hands, thinking a bit and bouncing your leg. Choso had said too much. Not only did he admit to killing Megumi, but now if you really did hate him, you could get him arrested too. Which meant you two would have to live apart. That was no longer an option.

“Even If I wanted to leave, I don’t think you’d actually give me the choice. Plus, it’s kinda…sweet?”

“Sweet?...”

“Yeah, never had someone like me this much, let alone kill my boyfriend to get closer to me.”

“So, you’re not mad?”

“No, not really. Well, maybe for planning to stab me. Not like I can make you untake the pics, but I’ll need some of my stuff back. I’m more impressed than anything. I’m not even gonna ask how you got the Ricin or half of this stuff.”

Choso didn’t know how to feel, or how to react. Why were you so calm about this? Why weren’t you scared? Why were you still here willingly? He couldn’t move at all, locked in place in fear as he watched you get into the bed and turn on another movie.

“You gonna come lay with me or just stand there?”

“I just…I-”

You sat straight up now, looking him dead in the eyes as his body quivered in reaction.

“What’s your deal, huh? Didn’t you kill a guy to be with me?”

“Yes, technically, I-”

“So, be with me, Choso! Unless you’re just like a murderer or whatever, that’s kinda fucked up.”

I'm gonna break you before I can say…

Choso was lost for fuckin’ words. You were laying on his chest now, holy shit, he was losing his mind. Touching him, feeling your warmth as you finally relaxed. Everything he had done to get you with him had paid off. You were so perfect, lips pursed while you breathed up and snuggled your face into him. Just his sweet, sweet girl.

“So, the whole, um, thing…”

“What, you being fucking insane?”

“I’m not insane, just very dedicated to the woman I love!”

“Well, the way I see it, all my other boyfriends couldn’t stop looking at other girls, but you? You’re perfect, you’re already obsessed with me! Just don’t kill anyone else, ‘kay?” 

“I’ll try.”

I love you.

♱ the song used in this story is saccharine by jazmin bean. 🖤

♱ masterlist.

♱ all fics playlist.

𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.

[ink-stainedkiss]

On Campus: The Prize of Affection

pairing: Geto x Reader x Gojo

← 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 / 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝟏 / 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 →

Contents: college au, SLOW BURN, fluff + angst + smut, alcohol, frat parties, attempts of spiking, harassment, some violence, jealousy, pining, flirting, MULTI ENDS, happy ending.

Well, after two years of the same thing—rambling professors and poorly written notes—you were finally starting your third year of college. It felt dreadfully monotonous. Mostly because you knew the first day of your freshman year you were going to keep your identity on the down low and your grades higher than ever. It was great because this plan worked better than ever. You had a steady job, the local coffee shop, working with two of your closest friends, and most of all, your transcript practically screamed a high paying job in your future.

So yeah, it kinda made you jealous seeing the frat parties houses being raided by energetic students alike. Would you love to dress up and act like you didn’t have a test the next day? Of course. Almost everyone in college pictured their nights to look like that. They also thought college would be a breeze, but even you were caught off guard your first year.

“Thinking hard over there?” A deep voice chuckled, nudging your arm. Pulled out of your trance, you blinked, and faced the sound. Choso, your coworker here at the cafe, had seen your focused expression and was not doing a very good job at hiding his smirk. Scoffing, you pushed off the counter you had been leaning against, and sent him a glare,”Yeah, imaging different jobs to apply for, so I can get away from you.”

Choso raised a brow and it wasn’t long before your faux look dropped and you giggled. He smiled,”It’s about class, isn’t it?” You shrugged with an expression mixed with unsureness and agreement,”I mean I guess, but I’m not like nervous to go back…if you get what i’m saying.”

His lips trilled,dismissing your words,”You have Professor Yaga, I would be shitting myself.” Rolling your eyes, you stared out to the rising sky, content with the almost purple ambience across the street. The first hour of the morning shift was always the best,”You’re such a baby. He’s not that bad.”

Choso walked toward his premade coffee, sipping it and watching you with unamused eyes behind the mug,”The difference is because he actually likes you.” Glancing back toward the glass front of the shop, you saw your first customer of the day walk toward the door,”No, the difference is I have the intelligence to keep up with his lectures.”

Your coworker’s jaw dropped, but he couldn’t say anything, since the customer walked in with a pleased smile. What you didn’t tell Choso was that you were slightly nervous for class, but not about the teacher. It’s just, something felt off. You knew your routine like the back of your hand and it brought you comfort, so waking up early before the sun approaches was just normal for you. However, today just didn’t sit right in your chest. Like you knew something was going to go wrong.

You liked being right, but at that moment you hoped you were entirely incorrect.

𖤓

It was a bit shocking how your boss was so lenient with your work schedule. You woke up around five, opened the shop at six with Choso or whoever was assigned to the morning, then waited till nine to leave. Your class starts thirty minutes after that, so it gives you so much down time. Walking across the campus, books held against one arm while you moved, you prayed that the nauseating feeling was just a bad muffin you snuck from the front.

One thing the movies did correct was that college was pretty packed. It seemed every second you were maneuvering around barriers of people that also seemed to have no special awareness. Still, it was just a customary thing for college, so you trudged forward. The entrance to the school was just ahead, its path covered in chiseled quotes on its stone floor, and a majestic statue of a crane ahead of the doors.

You were only halfway when your phone buzzed and after a cautious glance in front of you. Good. No people. Taking out your phone, your eyes caught onto the notification bubble, but your phone couldn’t even unlock before your side slammed into someone’s shoulder.

“Shit.” You groaned, feeling your books slip from your hold. Ah, this was what that feeling was warning me about. The problem wasn't that you had dropped your things, it was the fact the culprit didn’t have the decency to stop and help or at the least apologize. You whipped your head around, locking onto the pure white hair already strolling away from the scene. Anger flooded to your veins and before you could stop yourself, you opened your mouth.

“Thanks, Asshole.” Figuring, since he barely reacted to running into you, that he wouldn’t hear your remark. Regardless of how he picked up the sound, the guy had heard you, and you stared as he turned his head. He didn’t make a comment, but instead gave you a quick glance. Oddly enough, his eyes cut deeper than any insult could.

You hated to admit it, but his eyes were beautiful. A shade of blue that could make the sky jealous. They were enticing, but the spiteful gleam made you immediately tense up. Still, you held your ground, no matter how intimidating his look was. Before you knew it, he was already facing the front, bothered by nothing. Your teeth grinned together and picked yourself up off the floor. You’d be damned to look like a helpless fawn in front of these people.

In your heart, you told yourself to chase after him, scream and cuss, but you stayed calm. It was just another dick that believed he had some sort of untouchable god complex. It was useless to sit there and complain. After all, college is huge and you wouldn’t see that guy again.

As you walked to the front doors, your eyes remained straight forward. Paying no mind to the curious glances, you trudged forward to your first class.

𖤓

“-okay, it seems all of you are here.” Your professor started at the front of the room. Maybe it was bias, but you believed that Professor Yaga worked the hardest amongst the other teachers. You’ve had him since the beginning of your time here at college. He taught loads of subjects and you always seemed to shine throughout each,that’s why you were the so-called “favorite”.

“Today we’ll just be a go over of materials and lessons I will be teaching.” He explained, glancing back at the plain slide show he created.

Before Professor Yaga could say the first item, the doors in the back opened quickly. Everyone’s attention shifted as the commotion grew. You had to admit your curiosity got the better of you and you turned to watch who came in so late. Little did you know, you weren’t prepared for the storm about to swoop into the lecture hall.

It seemed almost fake like before you arrived the scene was choreographed. Two men waltzed in, neither of them showing guilt on their faces. The first one had very long hair; dark and it was put up in a claw clip. He gave half a smile, one that was supposed to be an apology, but his other friend did not share this gesture.

The friend raised a hand toward the professor, waving like he didn’t just interrupt him,”Hey, sorry the line at the coffee shop was super long.” You have to be kidding. Your mouth parted at the audacity, but Yaga only let out a disappointed sigh,”It's fine, just sit down.”

The room was packed but no one around you looked to be disturbed—or at the least shocked—their rude enterace. Was this common? No. Most people give a short ‘Sorry’ and skitter to their seat, but they just didn’t care. Your brow furrowed as they walked, showing no signs of picking up their speed. You scanned over there faces, making mental notes to stay away from both of them. Though, as you stared at the other male, your heart sank. Bright sapphire eyes locked onto your own and a wave of Deja vu hit you harshly.

It was the same guy who knocked into you without so much as a word. Your hand resting on the desk tensed into a fist. While in the middle of a staring contest, you expected him to throw you a cocky smirk, scoff, just something. You never guessed he would show you a look of genuine amusement. His lips turned upward and he winked at you. Did he even recognize you? You hadn’t interacted with the other guy, but he didn’t look any better.

These two were practically the stereotype for coming of age movie jock’s. Complete disdain grew in your chest as you watched them stroll down the lecture hall stairs. They dapped up their friends loudly, tossing sultry smiles toward the audience, and—ew did someone just squeal? Whoever they were, their egos shined too bright for your liking. Consider yourself uninterested.

You swiftly turned back around,but sadly the only available seats were the ones directly behind you. Their obnoxious chuckles grew slightly and you were pretty sure you heard the rude one mumble something to his friend. Whatever. Just pretend they aren’t there. It was easier said than done, since throughout the entire lesson their muffled conversation kept skimming past your ears and even as you tried paying attention, it seemed two sets of eyes were burning into the back of your skull.

if you would like to be added to the On Campus: Taglist, feel free to comment/ message me. I will send back a “🤎” once you’ve been added!

Taglist:

@inthedarkshadows000 @se-phi-roth @thattbitchwiththehair @kardi0n @loneworldgazer @geektastic84 @galactacium @love-me-satoru @stilldontknowwhatiamdoing

[inkedbydesire]

Can’t Let Go (Pt 1)

Jimmy Uso x Black Fem Reader

A/N: This is inspired by an Adele song called “Can’t Let Go.” Please give it a listen if you’ve never heard it. It will enhance your reading experience (I hope 😂).

Warnings: None.

Summary: You thought you would never hear from him again. And truthfully, even that was too soon. They say that time heals all wounds. So with time, you convinced yourself that closure wasn’t necessary, that you didn’t need to understand why he ripped your heart to shreds. Somewhere along the way you even managed to persuade yourself that you were completely over the whole ordeal and completely over him. But after a full year of silence, a single letter arrives, threatening to undo everything you fought so hard to move past.

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Jimmy is kinda sorta my muse right now. So here’s another one *Dj Khaled voice.* I apologize in advanced for any grammatical errors or typos I may have missed during my proofreading.

*************************************************

"Jonathan fucking Fatu." 

You muttered the words to yourself, then took yet another sip from your wine glass. Well, honestly, it was more of a gulp. You practically downed the whole thing. And this wasn't even your first or second glass. Normally, you never drank this much in a day, but tonight seemed like a special occasion. After a grueling shift in the ER, you'd expected to come home to a warm bath, a good meal, and reruns of Bob's Burgers. Not a letter from your ex-boyfriend, Jonathan, who you hadn't heard from in over a year.

When you stopped by your parent's house after work because your mom said she had something for you, the last thing you expected was a letter from Jonathan. No wonder she'd sounded so strange on the phone. No communication had passed between you and Jonathan for so long that he had no choice but to send the letter to the last address he remembered, your parent's house. He knew nothing about your apartment. He knew nothing about your life anymore. And why would he? He wasn't a part of it.

"I'm not doing this." You muttered aloud as you stood up, holding your wine glass in one hand and the letter in the other. You slowly walked into the kitchen and hovered over the trash can, you held the letter there for a moment before you dropped it in. Then, you turned off the light and returned to the living room, sinking back onto the couch. You tried to focus on anything else other than that damn letter but no more than five minutes later, you were back in the kitchen, digging through the trash.

This time, you didn't waste a second before heading back to the couch with the letter clutched between your fingers. You decided to leave the wine alone telling yourself that there was no need to add a hangover to your list of problems tomorrow. Shifting your attention to the letter you finally opened the envelope and unfolded the pages. As your eyes skimmed over Jonathan's neat handwriting, memories that you'd worked so hard to suppress rushed at you all at once as if you'd just been blindsided by a semi-truck.

High school. Sophomore year. That was when you first met him. Your parents had uprooted your whole life and moved you to Florida when your dad got a better job offer. You'd been terrified, forced to leave behind everything and everyone you knew. You were social, but not enough to feel okay with walking into a new school where everyone already had their friends. You had no idea how to approach anyone. You knew if you didn't find a way to fit in, you'd spend the next few years alone.

Before you could muster the courage to talk to anyone on your first day, Jonathan was the first student to speak to you.

"You must be new" he said to you casually as you stood in the hallway staring down at your schedule. The guidance counselor had only shown you to your first class and then left you to fend for yourself. This school was far bigger than your old one so on your way to second period you got a little lost.

"It's that obvious huh?" you responded back to the stranger then looked over at him and smiled. He returned it, warm and friendly.

"Lemme see" he said as he reached for your schedule and you allowed him to have it happy to have someone who seemed like they wanted to help. 100s of other students had brushed past you so far and he had been the only one to stop.

"Oh, we got the same second period. Follow me. I got you." He told you as he handed you back your schedule and you thanked him as you folded it and slid it in your back pocket.

"What's your name?" He asked as you fell into step beside him.

"Y/N" you responded as he zigzagged you through the hallways. Quickly you picked up on the fact that Jonathan was pretty popular. On every hallway that you followed him down some dude was dapping him up or some girl was saying hey. And for some reason, he kept taking it upon himself to introduce you to every single person you two encountered. He kept telling people "This the new girl Y/N."

Like it was his duty or something.

You were a little embarrassed that he kept making you the center of attention but if you were going to meet anyone other than him it had to be that way. And you guessed he figured that. You think he just wanted you to feel included. And you did. During your lunch period, you spotted someone who looked like Jonathan so you went over to thank him for helping you again, only to discover you were talking to his twin brother Joshua. That's how you ended up meeting both of them on your very first day.

Jonathan talked to you every day after that. Over time you managed to find your place in a good group of friends when you joined the cheerleading team. This caused you and Jonathan to grow even closer because you spent more time around him due to him and his brother being football players. By Junior year you two were dating and experiencing a lot of firsts together. You were high school sweethearts for two years but mutually broke up after graduation when you saw that life was taking you in two completely different directions. It wasn't a sad or bitter breakup because you both understood and respected each other's futures. You just wanted to see each other win. And you knew that no matter what you would always keep in touch.

Jonathan went to college for a little bit before moving away with Joshua to pursue wrestling which was a part of their family legacy. You stayed in Florida went to college and worked tirelessly to follow your dream of becoming a nurse. You and Jonathan barely ever saw each other anymore.  Years passed. But still, you kept in contact here and there.

Jonathan and Joshua got signed to the WWE. You remember him being so excited on the phone when he called and told you about it. You became a nurse and started working at the hospital of your dreams. And crazy enough you even almost got married. You were engaged to a Doctor that you met at one of the hospitals you interviewed at before finding your perfect fit. He seemed like a amazing person on the surface but you later found out that it was all just a hoax. 1 week before your wedding you found out that he had fathered an outside child and had basically been unfaithful throughout your whole relationship. That was a horrible time for you but you managed to get through it. And although Jonathan couldn't be there for you physically you could always count on him to send you some encouraging words every other day.

When it seemed that you and Jonathan had finally solidified yourselves in your careers that's when you two reconnected on a deeper level. It started with texting each other as much as your work schedules and sleeping arrangements would allow. Then to falling asleep on Facetime with each other every night. Then to catching flights to see each other. He came to see you. You went to see him. And then on one of your trips, he just didn't want you to leave. So you decided to say goodbye to Florida and moved to the state that Jonathan was calling home. You found a hospital to work at and easily settled into life with him. For 3 years you and him had a relationship that you had convinced yourself you could only read about. You thought Jonathan was your forever and you found solace in thinking you would never know heartbreak again. 

But then it happened. 

It started like any other day. It was your off day so you were going to run a few errands and spend the rest of the day relaxing. Jonathan was on the road as usual living the hectic life of a wrestler so you were going to spend some time missing him too. But that was basically it. There were no warning signs. No strange feeling in the pit of your stomach. Nothing. You went through the day totally oblivious to the fact that your whole world was about to collapse.

Later on that night out of the blue your notifications started going insane. Jonathan had posted you on his Instagram here and there over the years so people knew who you were through him. Due to that, his fans started interacting with you. So you assumed that's what it was. That they were just tagging you in random things like normal. But you saw that everybody kept sending you the same link to a TMZ article. You ignored it until your best friend sent it to you with a message that read "Have you seen this? Are you okay?"

Nothing could've prepared you for what you saw. The headline was still engraved in your memory.

"Jimmy Uso exposed for stepping out on his now girlfriend Y/N: Woman reveals picture and text proof."

Your phone moved from side to side in your shaky hands as you read the article. Your heart pounded and your stomach turned as you read the claims of a woman who said she had been with Jonathan intimately a month ago. There were text messages and you knew for certain that it was his number. He had the same number since high school. But if that wasn't the nail in the coffin she also had a picture of him in her bed. Tears began to blur your vision as you read away every ounce of trust and security you ever had in Jonathan and your relationship.

Barely being able to process what was happening you moved in a zombie-like state as you located your laptop. Your brain was on autopilot as you booked a flight back to Florida for 6 am the next morning. You knew that you had to be out of that house before Jonathan came back. You were sure he knew the news by now. He had to. And you didn't know if he would drop everything and try to rush back. You didn't want to see his face. You didn't want to hear him try to explain himself. There was nothing that he could tell you. Life as you both knew was just completely over now.

And he only had himself to thank for that.

You packed what you could fit into your two suitcases and decided you would leave everything else behind. You had 3 years of stuff here but none of that mattered. With your heart feeling like somebody just snatched it out of your chest with a butcher's knife ..... nothing mattered. Shutting your phone off to silence the noise of the constant calls and texts you were receiving, you then climbed into the bed that you and Jonathan shared and cried your eyes out until sleep somehow found you. You woke up the next morning in time enough to take a shower, cry in it, and then leave Jonathan a note. You tore a piece of paper from a notebook and wrote,

Dear Jonathan, I hope it was worth it. Bye.

You left it on the coffee table in the living room before running out to catch your Lyft to the airport. Later that evening when you arrived in Florida you took a taxi to your parent's house. You knew your mom had already heard the news by the way she greeted you when you rang the doorbell. She just allowed you to fall into her arms and she held you as tight as she could. You were mentally and physically drained as you climbed the stairs and went to your childhood bedroom. You went to the bathroom that was connected to it and caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You looked exactly like what you were going through. Your eyes were swollen from all of the nonstop crying and somehow your brown skin looked pale. After taking off the hoodie you had on and stripping down to your panties you went back to your bedroom and got into the bed. When you were under the covers you decided to turn your phone back on for the first time in over 12 hours. You had what seemed like 100s of text messages, missed calls, and voicemail messages from Jonathan.

You opened one of the voicemail messages, your heart breaking all over again as you heard the desperation in his voice.

............. "Baby, where did you go? I swear that shit didn't mean nothing. I ... I fucked up. I really fucked up. And I regretted that shit instantly. I wanted to tell you about it. I just didn't want what's happening now to happen. I didn't want to lose you Y/N. Please say something to me." .......

Well there it was, he admitted to it. So any stupid hope of this somehow not being your reality was lost. You shut your phone back down ignoring him again as tears streamed down the side of your face. Somehow through all of the pain you felt in your chest sleep still found you. You woke up later that night with more voicemail messages from Jonathan.

............ "Look Y/N I'm going out of my fucking mind. Just let me know where you at. I need to know that you alright." .........

............. "Curse me out. Do something. I can't take this silent shit."...........

.............. "I don't know if you even listening to these but I love you Y/N. I know you might not believe or wanna hear that right now but I love you."

You ended up blocking his number. But things didn't end there. You still had a long road ahead of you. He blew you up on every single social media app which you eventually had to delete. What Jonathan did to you was very public and people were talking about it. And you needed to ignore the world and him if you were ever going to get back to you.

As time went on you started to function like a normal human being again. You didn't end up sitting on the shower floor every time you took one and you started to eat more than once a day again. But it seemed like every time you tried to make a step to move on Jonathan would contact you and set you back. When he couldn't reach you on social media anymore he started sending emails. You blocked him there too. Then he put two and two together and figured you were at your parent's house and started abusing their phone lines as well. When his number was blocked yet again he even resorted to catching a flight and randomly showing up to their house. Rightfully so your father refused to let him in and sent him on his way.

Jonathan had turned your whole world upside down but you still communicated with his family through all of it. His mom and Dad checked on you. But you mainly talked to Joshua the most because you two had a friendship outside of him. Joshua genuinely wanted to know about your well-being, so you responded to him often while still being radio silent when it came to his brother. When Jonathan caught wind that you were still talking to Joshua he tried reaching out to you through him. You told Joshua not to allow him to do that or you would also have to cut ties with him. You didn't want to do that because Joshua hadn't done anything to you but you seriously wanted absolutely nothing to do with Jonathan. You didn't need his explanation. His apologies only infuriated you. You didn't need anything from him.

He tried to get you to communicate with him for almost a year but you never took any of the bait. Time passed and Jonathan's crazy measures to reach you eventually slowed down. 

Year two rolled around and for the first time, you heard no signs from him for a whole two weeks. But still, he was known to pop out when you got the most comfortable so you wearily anticipated him. But then two weeks turned into a month. One month turned into four. Before you knew it a whole year had passed with nothing from his end. In that time you managed to get your life back on track. You moved out of your parent's house into a nice apartment and were able to get the old job that you had before leaving Florida to be with Jonathan back.

It had been two years since you removed yourself from his life so you thought that the Jonathan Solofa Fatu chapter in your life was closed. You thought you would never hear another peep from him but yet here you were holding this letter.

And any peace you thought you had found with the situation was now completely disturbed.

Part 2

[crabdrabbles]

Hiii Crab so happy to see you write outside of our rants/idea chats and my fellow delulu cod enjoyer! Would love to request Platonic!141 + Reader (sorry if this is long and somewhat confusing lol). You can do headcanons, drabble or whatever you comfy for. An idea that popped in my head kinda semi personal: Civ or 141! Reader though has parents and family is the reader is quite something else. Reader despite having somewhat normal upbringing still feel empty; they shouldn't be feeling this numb and empty deep inside of them. The reader craves the love that they give but couldn't or lack of receiving it back, though they don’t expect it or selfishly want it. Just someone who understands them even in their deepest darkest secret or flaw then boom cue the task force 141 unexpected yet welcoming to their life and maybe the one that the Reader can lean and let them be vulnerable on (finally).  

Take your time on doing this Looking for to your other writing genuinely -Cee, your fellow Soap delulu

GN!Reader & 141 (Mostly Price)

Warnings: Slight angst Ships: None. A/N: This absolutely ran away from me and I do not at all regret it, hope you enjoy, Cee!!! Words: 3549

Almost your entire life had been a cycle of self doubt that also started to churn and twist into self-hatred. You blamed yourself for the feelings. Afterall, you had a relatively normal upbringing. Two parents who were both present in your life, both of whom worked so that you all had food on the table and a roof over your head. A luxury that very few had.

The least you could do for them is follow the path that they wanted to put you on, no matter how much you didn’t want to do it. Because you loved them. 

So you excelled in your education, studying hard to try and impress your parents– to make them love you just as much as you loved them for everything that they did for you for your entire life. They wanted you to do all three sciences despite the additional workload it would add to your already stretched thin time? Then you would do them, take any extra classes after school in order to keep up with the work and not lag behind any of your peers. 

There was no such thing as a social life, either, not when you had homework and projects due. Friends were few and far between. Generally, most people left when they realised how hyper focused you were on your grades instead of social interaction. 

Did a classmate get a higher grade than you on a test? Well obviously you didn’t study hard enough, you just needed to dedicate more time to school even though school was all you had.

Did you get the highest marks in the class? Good, that was what was expected of you. Why didn’t you get full marks? You were better than that. You would do better because you loved your family. They showed it in their own way, of course, by encouraging you to study harder and get better grades. That was their love language, and yours was doing as they asked without a second thought. Because, at the end of the day, you were lucky to have an upbringing like you had. You would ignore the hollow void clawing at your chest because you had no right to feel that way– not when you had a roof over your head and parents that loved you(?).

It was when you came top of the class with full marks in a recent test, you came home with a beaming smile on your face and proudly showed the test to your parents. They took the papers from your hands, flipping through your work with critical eyes, before handing the papers back to you. 

‘Well done, we’re so proud of you.’ That was all you wanted them to say to you. That was all you needed to hear. To know that they loved you. 

‘Your penmanship is terrible.’ Was what you got instead. When you tried to point at the big 100% in green pen, you were waved away. ‘How are you expected to get a job when you write like a child? I’m surprised the teacher could even read your answers’. 

After several years of balancing a work and educational life and paving a way for a line of work that you didn’t want for parents you should have been grateful to have, you decided that enough was enough. 

No matter how hard you worked, no matter how high your marks were, they would never be proud of you. They would never return the love that you had for them until you nearly killed yourself trying. 

Spending your entire childhood, teenagehood and all of your current adulthood trying to please your parents predictably would damage one’s psyche. You had no friends, family who had never been devoted to you as you were to them, and high grades serving as the foundations to a prison-like future.

You dropped out of University. The only option forward that you saw was joining the army in the vain hope that the empty feeling inside of you would dissipate when you actually did something that you believed was more worthwhile than any University course. 

So you threw yourself into the military, working harder than all of the other recruits and training at every chance you could.

Your skills and determination became widely recognised amongst your peers. It took several years, but you eventually caught the eye of none other than Captain John Price. 

Impressed by your willpower that not many soldiers possessed, he offered you a place on the 141. 

Naturally, you agreed. You believed that being part of such a well renowned and respected team would finally beat back the lingering self doubt and emptiness that had curled itself around your heart.

It didn’t. If anything, it made it worse.

You were invited to join the 141, sure, but they had already established their own relationships between each other, had already bonded into a close knit group, and you were simply an outsider. Yes, you had been hand picked by Price himself, but that didn’t mean you were part of the team. They had their own inside jokes that they told to one another, leaving you feeling left out on most days.

And you felt… lacking around them. Ghost was stronger, Gaz was faster, Soap was smarter (he was a demolitions expert for crying out loud!), and Price was almost all of those rolled into one. They all complimented each other as a team. Meanwhile you felt like a spare tyre, a master of nothing and barely a jack of any trade. 

Despite how you felt about it all, they all called you ‘kid’. Regardless of age gaps between yourself and the rest of them, the nickname stuck mostly because you were the newbie. It came as a surprise that it wasn’t spat with vitriol as your peers before had, but it was in fact said with… an affection you couldn’t quite place.

You couldn’t ignore the hole in your chest that had been chipped at over the years, forming a gaping maw that no reassurances could really mend. 

Doubt lingered in the back of your mind, chipping away at your sanity as you prepared for the worst. How long would it take before they realised you weren’t good enough? 

You were so deep in your doubts that you didn’t realise that you had been distancing yourself even more than before until you overheard a conversation in Price’s office a few months down the line.

“-- they don’t belong on the team.” Gaz said as you passed Price’s office and your heart dropped. It was only the tailend of what he had been saying but you had gotten the gist. You wanted to stay, to listen to the conversation more and listen to what your team had to say about you, but you didn’t. What you were going to hear were likely things you had already told yourself right from the start. You keep walking on, ignoring the sting of tears burning in the corners of your eyes. The blood rushing in your ears prevented you from heating the rest of the conversation. 

“-- not only are they acting like they don’t belong on the team, but they’re acting like they’re not good enough.” Gaz continued, sighing in frustration.

“Maybe they need more time.” Ghost rumbled in reply, “Let them come out of their shell a little bit. Best not rush these things.” He was talking from experience, after all.

“Aye… maybe I can invite them out for drinks or sommat? I wouldn’t want them getting transferred before we got to know them a little more.” Soap had been the one that had tried the hardest to get close to you but had also tried to give you space so as to not suffocate you with his personality. 

“They won’t be getting transferred.” Price said with conviction, tapping his desk, “I chose them to be part of this team and this is where they’re going to stay. Let me have a word with them first.”

“Aye, sir.”

— — — — — —

You found yourself in the smoker’s shelter outside the main building. It was late enough that most of the soldiers had gone to bed or off to do their own things elsewhere so you doubted that you would be bothered for a little while. Just enough time for you to get your thoughts together. Your tears had dried in your eyes a few minutes ago, making them sting in the cold air. You didn’t need to look in your reflection to know that you probably looked like a wreck– entirely unbecoming of a soldier of your apparent status. 

You didn’t want to get transferred. Despite your distance with the 141, you didn’t hate them. Far from, actually, you held a great deal of respect for each and every one of them. It was just that you felt like you didn’t have your place amongst them. Not good enough to be associated with them. 

“Bit late to be out here in the cold, chuck.” A voice startled you out of your thoughts– one that you would recognise anywhere from the low rasp of a smoker's lungs. 

“Captain.” You croaked, wincing at the patheticness in your voice. There was a scuff of boots as Price came closer, leaning into your line of vision with a furrowed brow which only furrowed more as he took in your dishevelled appearance.

“Something on your mind?” He asked kindly, perching on the arm of the bench to give you some personal space. He left his question open, allowing you any chance to steer the conversation how you wanted to. There was no judgement for catching you at your lowest, no disgust at your red rimmed eyes— just polite understanding and a non verbal offer of pleasant company. 

“Why did you pick me, Captain?”

The question made him tilt his head, a frown beginning to tug on his features. You were worried you had insulted him.

“What brought this on, huh? Someone say something to you? Need me to have a word with them?” He straightened his back, scowling. Whilst you felt like you didn’t have a place in the 141, you could never deny the shield of protectiveness that Price held over his team. You remember in the back of your mind the day that some General who thought he was hot shit had the audacity to undermine Soap as nothing more than a ‘yappy dog’ when offered the Scot’s demolitions expertise. Price had appeared almost out of thin air and almost ripped the General a new one and things would have escalated into a fist fight had Laswell not intervened. It wasn’t as though Price didn’t think his own soldiers were capable of defending themselves, but he couldn’t care less about punishments aimed his own way over that of his Sergeants and Lieutenant. It was just a surprise that the protective streak extended over you, too, despite your distance to your teammates.

“I’ll sound stupid.” You mumbled, looking down at the ground as if expecting him to chastise you like a child. He didn’t.

“I’ve had my fair share of stupid over the years. Try me.”

“... and ungrateful.”

“I once had a guy punch me in the face two seconds after I took a bullet that would have killed him.” Price countered with a cut off chuckle once he remembered what was probably a mission long finished and cleared his throat. “C’mon, tell Captain what’s on your mind.”

And he sounded so sincere when he said it. Sounded like he genuinely wanted to hear what was going on in your head– that he was willing to waste what was already his important and limited time on someone like you. 

“Sir—”

“John.” Price corrected gently, crows feet more noticeable at the corners of his eyes scrunched up when he smiled, “We’re off duty, you don’t need to be so formal.”

“... John.” You echoed, finding that you really didn’t like saying that. It felt like calling your teacher by their first name in primary school or a classmate’s parent other than their last name. 

“Now, c’mon, tell me what’s on your mind. Might not be a therapist, but I’m better than bottling it up.” You wondered in the back of your mind how often Price did this. Sat with his soldiers and talked with them, offered them a listening ear to hear their vents and fears. You couldn’t help but feel honoured to be one of the few he willingly offered said time to. Your silence stretched on as you thought of the words to say, how to phrase what you wanted to say without sounding unappreciative of the opportunity that Price had offered you when he requested you join his team. 

“I don’t feel like I belong here.” You blurted once the silence had stretched on for long enough to border on uncomfortable. John’s face fell and you quickly realised how bad that sounded and rushed to correct yourself.

“No, no, wait, let me explain–” the Captain closed his mouth to allow you to continue speaking, but you could tell that it was hard for him. “I just… you could have anyone better than me, you know? I’m not a demolition expert. I’m… I’m not the best Sniper. I’m the slowest on the team, pretty sure I’m the weakest–”

“Nope.” Price interrupted, finally breaking the bubble of your personal space as he took a proper seat next to you on the bench but still respecting the distance enough to keep a few inches between you. “Nope, not lettin’ you say another word.”

“But–” 

“Nope.”

“Cap–”

“No.”

“But you could have anyone better—“

“But they wouldn’t be you.” He deflected easily. Far too easily. He leant back on the bench, crossing one leg over the other as he folded his arms over his chest. His fingers twitched and you could tell he was itching for a cigar but didn’t light one out of respect. 

“Alright, sure, I can ask Laswell to give me one of the best soldiers in the SAS and have them brought here tomorrow. They could be the best of the best, top of their class, better than you and maybe even better than me. But that’s a bit of a stretch.” He winked and earned a weak chuckle from you. “But they won’t be you. I don’t pick just on skill alone, kid, I pick based on how I feel people would fit into the team. I chose you because I knew that you’d be perfect.”

“As for not being a demolitions expert, let  me let you in on a little secret. I’ve no fucking clue about demolitions, either. And you don’t have to be on the team to be the ‘best Sniper’. You’re better than most, and that’s what’s important. As for being the weakest– did you or did you not bodily lift Gaz in a fireman’s carry during training the other week while he was trying to act as an injured civilian? Quite dramatically, might I add. Swooned and everything.”

You remembered that practice mission. Quite fondly, actually. Gaz was a civilian and , after being struck by a foam bullet from Soap, had dramatically screamed in agony and crumpled to the floor. When you had lifted him up and over your shoulders, the bastard continued to wail something along the lines of telling his non-existent spouse that he loved them and that his money be given to his equally non-existent children. Soap got in another shot to the man’s head, knocking off his cap in the process. Distracted as you were trying to haul your teammate out of the danger zone, you couldn’t help but laugh thinking about it now. 

“Last time I checked, Gaz is somewhat heavier than a sack of flour. Don’t tell him I said that, I’ll hurt his feelings.” Price was right, you supposed. You were more than capable of carrying Gaz over your shoulders, maybe even Soap or Price himself if the time called for it. Ghost you weren’t so sure about, though. The man was a walking mountain. 

“What I’m trying to say is that you have to give yourself more credit. You’re more than good enough to be on my team. I chose you for a reason.”

You… did not expect that sort of reassurance from Price. You had hoped for something along those lines, yes, but perhaps with a thrown in criticism or three. You waited for a ‘but’ that never came. The man snorted beside you and when you gave him a quizzical look, he waved off your concern.

“Shit, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think the next thing out of your mouth would be that your parents never hugged you as a kid.”

Your silence made him slowly turn his head towards you. It would have almost been comical if the situation wasn’t. His face crumbled and a wounded sound emerged from his throat.

“Sometimes they did!” You rushed to defend the people that raised you. “And they gave me food and shelter, clothes when I needed them–”

“Fucking hell. No, that’s what they’re supposed to do because they’re your parents. What about telling you that they were proud of you? That they loved you? I saw your records. Top of your class in not just your training but in your education, too. Triple sciences, mathematics, all of it. They had to be proud of you for that? My parents would have killed for me to get even a passing grade in my GCSEs.” You looked down at the ground and it was Price’s turn to have his eyes fixed on you. 

“They were proud of you, weren’t they?” He asked again, leaning forwards so he could catch your eye, his own filled with concern. “Kid?”

“I don’t talk to them much anymore.” 

Price inhaled sharply and he leaned back again, looking around and clenching his jaw as if fighting back his anger. His fingers twitched again. You admired his self control as he was still yet to grab a cigar that you knew he kept on his person. Usually in his breast pocket while his lighter was in his right pocket.

“Listen to me.” The Captain said, a more stern edge to his voice now that he had gathered his thoughts together. “Whatever your family said to you— how they treated you? Forget it. They showed you obligation. Not love. They didn’t want what was ‘best’ for you, they wanted bragging rights. What you’ve achieved– here, in bootcamp, in university and in school, is something to take pride in– no, no, look at me.”

Your gaze had trailed to the side so you avoided looking at your Captain in the eyes. He noticed and clicked his fingers to gain your attention back on him.

“Don’t look away from me because I want you to listen to what I’m gonna say and I want you to look at my face as I say it.” Your eyes met his blue ones, “You should be proud of everything that you’ve achieved in your life. I’m sorry that your family never told you that and I’m sorry that I haven’t said that enough to you since you joined 141.”

You opened your mouth to say something– to argue or disagree but he shook his head.

“No. It’s my turn to speak now. I’m proud of you. I am so proud of you. Everything you’ve done and everything that you’re yet to do, I will always be proud of you. You’re an exemplary soldier and I knew the moment I saw you that you would be a perfect addition to the 141 and you have proved me right time and time again. You belong on this team just as much as the rest of the boys. Do you understand?”

So many words– proud, proud, proud. That’s all you had wanted to hear for so many years from someone whose opinion mattered to you. You wanted to be seen and Price, this godsend of a man, had seen you and more.

“Kid, do you understand me?”

You nodded once and then realised that Price wouldn’t have been able to tell through your shaking. Tears blurred in the corners of your eyes and you nodded again, not trusting your voice in case it shattered. 

“What do you need from me?” Price’s voice was oh so soft, like he was talking to a frightened fawn. He could see how much his words had affected you and it clearly broke his own heart.

“A hug.” Your bottom lip wobbled and his face softened as he opened his arms, twitching his fingers to urge you closer.

“I can do that.” 

You leaned into him and he quickly wrapped his arms around you, drawing you in close. You could smell the lingering scent of his last cigar. The smell of his office and cleaning oil. You felt his chin on the top of your head and felt how his chest rumbled as he spoke.

“You’re part of the 141 whether you like it or not, alright? Me and the boys want you here for as long as you want to be.”

At that moment, for the first time in your life. You felt wanted. You felt appreciated and you felt seen.

have a request? send one in!

[oh2z]

roommates. a jebe series

part pre one two three

summary: moving in with your (really attractive) uni friends..nothing too crazy can happen, right?

contents: plenty of suggestive/sexual content ! mdni read and tune in at your own discretion !!

word count: 2.1k (yay^^)

it was your fourth year of uni and you just transferred schools after a little incident happened last year that forced you to move. it was like a fresh start-- except you still had to go to class. (lol no shit)

you were angrily storming toward your first class of the day since you had already taken this class but of course, the credits didn't transfer so you had to retake it. huge waste of time.

you sat down in the closest desk to the door and tossed your bag on top of it, leaning back against the chair and crossing your arms in annoyance. you felt some eyes on you so you glanced over and caught a boy looking at your curiously. you normally would have snapped at him for staring, but he was pretty hot-- his messy brown hair fell over his forehead in his cute, slightly overgrown bowl cut and smiley eyes contrasted nicely with the sharp cut of his jaw and his large hands. you slid your eyes over him top to bottom, letting them linger on the way his shirt stretched across his shoulders. you looked back up at his face to meet his gaze and his eyes widened briefly before he looked away quickly, a little blush creeping onto his cheeks. you turn to front wordlessly, looking away from his with a small smirk on your face.

you had shown up to class hoping that this professor didn't have a strict attendance policy, and to your luck, he does. fuck. you rolled your eyes as your classmates passed the sign-in sheet around, and zoned out for the rest of class.

when the class was over you grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder and headed for the door. you had forgot to get coffee beforehand, so you decided to head to the nearest cafe. you felt like someone was following you as you headed down the sidewalk and you threw a glance over your shoulder to see that same guy from class a few steps behind you. his big eyes widened when you looked at him and he looked away from you but you narrowed your eyes and stopped walking, waiting for him to catch up.

he looked like he was panicking, not sure if he should stop or pass you. "you following me?" you asked, tilting your head.

"no! i just... wanted to go get coffee before my next class," he said quickly.

you hesitated a moment, suddenly feeling silly for being on the offensive. "oh. i was going to get coffee too..i'mm kinda new to town and i get anxious in unfamiliar places-- should we have coffee together?" you offered. he blinked in surprise.

"oh! yeah okay sure!" the two of your began walking again, next to each other this time, and headed toward the coffee shop. you each brought your own drink and then you sat down together at a small table. you couldn't help but judge him a little for getting a fancy blended sweet coffee drink, while you had a black iced americano.

"so are you a music production major too?" he asked, sipping his drink.

"no, i'm taking this class as an elective. i'm kind of annoyed actually-- i already took it but the credits didn't transfer. i mean it'll be easy now, but it's still a bit annoying," you complained.

"oh. that sucks." he replied, frowning. you shrugged.

"it's whatever. you know what would make it better though?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"what?" he asked, sipping from his straw and blinking at you innocently.

"if you would write my name on the sign-in sheet for me if i'm ever not there," you replied sweetly.

"we're not supposed to do that though..."

you pouted, looking at him through your lashes and slipping a hand up to toy with the neckline of your shirt. "oh...i guess you're right. thanks anyway."

"i mean-" he said quickly. "it's just that i would have to know what your name was first before i could write it."

you smirked, then pulled out a small piece of paper and wrote down your full name, jotting your phone number under it. then you stood up and handed it to him. he read your name and then looked up at you when he noticed your number. he tilted his head as he read it again.

"your name is--"

"don't call me that," you cut, pointing at the paper. "i go by y/n."

"okay! y/n it is" he said quickly, his cheeks going pink. you had to stop yourself from continuing the conversation-- you were going to be late to your next class. and so you tore your attention away from him somewhat begrudgingly.

"text me your name," you said as you turned away, flashing him a smile over your shoulder as you left the shop. he watched you go with his lips parted slightly in shock and then quickly pulled out his phone, typing your number in and shooting you a text right away.

unknown: hi :0

me: who is this?

unknown: oh sorry lol

unknown: i was supposed to text u my name

unknown: it's taerae!

me: cool :)

you saved his number and then silenced your phone, not really caring if he had said something else after that at the moment. you shoved your hands in your pockets and headed to your next class.

--

you were sitting in the coffee shop working on an assignment from another class when your phone went off.

taerae: hey u comin to class?

you frowned at your phone. who the hell is taerae? you thought. you glanced at the clock, remembering which class your were skipping. oh! music production boy! a smile crept to your face at the thought of him again.

me: no i can't make it today

taerae: did you want me to sign the paper for you?

me: yes please!

you set your phone down and went back to work. about an hour later you felt someone standing over you and you pulled you headphones off and looked up. there was the boy from that class. you blinked at him.

"yes?" you asked. he sat down, sipping his fancy coffee and frowning his cute, pink lips pouting around his straw.

"you said you couldn't make it to class. i thought you were sick or something," he mumbled.

"yeah...what i meant was...i'm not going back to that class. it's a waste of my time." you mumbled back, returning your gaze to your laptop.

"oh. well...the professor assigned homework." he said, looking at you.

you groaned. "ugh, seriously?" you complained as he opened his backpack and pulled out his notes. he took a picture of where he had written down the assignment and set it to you.

"here you go " he said with a little smile.

"y/n-ie" you replied absentmindedly as you opened your phone to check the picture. he perked up a bit at the thought of calling you in a cuter way.

"i can call you y/n-ie?" he asked cutely. you looked up from your phone at him, unable to keep yourself from smiling a little at his happy face.

"hm? oh yeah. you're my music production class buddy, of course you can" you said. he grinned back.

"okay! well um...i'll see you later y/n-ie"

-

you were lying on your bed at home, tuning out the sound of your roommate slamming doors by cranking up the volume on your headphones. you had just finished up the assignment for your music prod. class and you sighed, thinking you had better go to class and hand it in the next day. unless...

me: hey

taerae: hi y/n-ie!!

me: can we meet up before class tmr? wanna see u :3

taerae: ofc just lmk!!

you were so tired and your roommate was really stressing you out. your really hated this apartment, but it had been the only thing available when you moved to town. you sighed and went to bed.

--

you sat at the cafe sipping your coffee and staring at your laptop, feeling stressed about your course load and your living arrangement. you had no way to get your stresses out these days, considering you knew no one in town and that your favorite stress relief activities were best done...with others.

you eyes slide to the door when taerae came into the shop, accompanied with another boy today. he was the same height as taerae, and something about his perfect skin, messy blonde hair, and sleeper-built body screamed daddy. the smiley brunette boy made you feel dominant, but his handsome friend made you feel small and as the two of them approached you, you shook your head against the warring sides of yourself, trying not to get overwhelmed.

they were talking as they came in and taerae seemed to look at his friend in awe, hanging on every word out of the man's mouth. taerae said something that made the other laugh and it took up his whole face. his huge smile make his eyes scrunch and flush appear in his round cheeks. it was nice to look at, and it seemed contagious as taerae smiled as well. he gave you a little wave and his friend glanced at your curiously before they got drinks. once they both had coffee-- taerae with his usual fancy one and his friend with a plain cup, they came to your table.

"hi y/n-ie! why did you want to meet?" taerae asked cheerily, sitting down next to you. his friend took the seat across from you and you couldn't help but glance at him only to find his dark eyes on your as well. something about the man's cutting gaze made you shy and you looked away quickly. digging in your backpack to avoid looking at him.

"i...wanted to give you this," you said. pulling out your assignment and handing it to taerae.

he looked at it for a second and then undersood. "oh, you want me to hand it in for you?" he seemed like he wasn't thrilled about the idea, so you turned your full attention to him, slipping your hand casually onto the table and placing your fingers lightly over his. he looked up at your in surprise at the tough, and you blinked your eyes at him quickly.

"please?" you asked him sweetly, letting your lips pout into a tiny frown as you did so. he swallowed and looked away.

"y-yeah sure," he murmured, a tiny blush on his soft cheeks as he took the assignment from you and tucked it into his notebook. your eyes glanced to his friend again and you caught him smirking and looking slightly impressed at your actions as you slowly retracted your hand from taerae's, trying to keep yourself from blushing under his gaze.

"thank you" you said, smiling.

"of course y/n-ie"

-

after class, you were still at the cafe, scrolling through your phone and ignoring the paper you were attempting to write. taerae shuffled back into the shop, looking annoyed.

"hey," you greeted him, setting your phone down. "what's up?"

"the professor assigned more work today. and i don't think i did the first one right anyway. i'm not getting this class," he mumbled, pouting.

"let me see." he passed you the notes and you pursed your lips. "i guess i could help." i remember this from last semester."

he perked up. "really?? do you want to come over and go over it with me this evening?"

he was cute. you smiled to yourself. "yeah, sure bub" you said.

he blinked at the affectionate name and then looked down shyl. he suddenly seemed to remember something. "oh yeah- um. i have six roommates so. sometimes my house is a little loud," he told you, cringing.

"well i live in a tiny apartment on campus and my roommate is literally crazy. so whatever you've got can't be that bad." you looked at him for a moment, remembering how flustered his friend had made you earlier. "hey that guy from this afternoon...."

"oh matthew? he's one of my roommates! he said you were cute when we left," he said wiggling his eyebrows at you. you felt yourself blush immediately and taerae burst into giggles at the sight. then he frowned, "i think you're cute too," he pouted.

you scoffed, your blush immediately fading. "you don't get to call me cute, you're the cute one" you told him, winking. now it was his turn to blush.

"w-wait you think i'm cute?" he asked, his eyes wide.

adorable, you thought. "whatever. text me your address." you said, right before trying to refocus on whatever you were just working on.

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

parings -> park jay x reader genre -> non-idol au, school au, hybrid au warnings -> mental health, abandonment issues, etc. word count -> 2.2k

abstract -> everything is temporary so don't get used to it.

jay’s perspective

I… was starting to feel kinda bad. I didn’t mean to be so harsh with her but with everything, I had a right to be angry… but she didn’t ask for it. Especially since she started to cry silently on that desk while I sat on the floor trying to gather my thoughts. 

“You're… a scholarship student?” I asked and she tensed up but didn’t turn… instead she subtly tried to wipe her tears. “Y-yeah… Haechan’s friend and I met during my first year. She saw me struggle a lot with loans and offered to put a good word about me and advocated to get me a scholarship” she said. 

“Isn’t that… a bit unfair?” I asked, and she laughed softly. “Yeah… it is. I probably don’t deserve it, but that's why I have to try my best to keep it,” she said, finally turning towards me with that stupid forced smile. 

Her life differed greatly from any of my previous ‘owners’. 

“I’m sorry if I'm just a burden for the time we’re together,” I said and she shook her head. “You're not!” she yelled and it shocked me. “If anything… I am and I hope Haechan can find you a good owner who can afford the lifestyle you’re used to” she said and I didn’t say anything after that.

“Is there anything you want me to do for the time being when we are stuck together?” I joked and she smiled. “No… but thank you for the offer. If there's anything you want I'll try my best to accomplish it,” she said and I chuckled. “I guess… sorry for calling you an incompetent babysitter,” I said and she shook her head. 

“I guess in a way you were right?” 

She was beyond sweet. 

But also so pathetic at the same time. I have never met someone who so carelessly forgets to eat, to sleep at a competent time, to… simply live a normal life. 

She was sleeping on her desk when I moved her to her bed and tucked her in. She forgot to eat dinner. Now that I think about it… did she even have a meal card? She really was a hopeless kid. 

I heard a knock and if only others tried to take care of her this wouldn't happen. 

I opened it to see Haechan… “Ah! Where–" "SHHH, she’s asleep,” I said in a hushed yelling voice. He sighed and I tried to keep the door as closed as possible without locking myself out. “I wanted to take you out, I know she can't afford a lot of hybrid things so come on,” he said and I looked back at her worried…

“She won’t wake up anytime soon… she doesn’t even have classes today, don't worry,” he said and I nod following him. We went outside where I saw two guys his age.

“Oh? Is this hybrid stuck with our lovely girl?” Chenle asked… he was a Chinese international student. Also popular for being friends with the principal's daughter…

“Come on, we have to get some things… a collar, clothes, and apparently some groceries for the girl before she was hospitalized for not taking better care of herself,” Chenle said while reading a text message. 

“She’s going all out for y/n” Mark had said. 

“Well summer is coming up and she’s getting kicked out of her tiny dorm,” Haechan said. “How does someone live there? Anyway, she said the place is furnished, and because she has a hybrid now she qualifies for a better scholarship plan” Chenle said reading from his phone again. 

“A friend of Chenle helps y/n since well… she’ll get kicked out of the school otherwise,” Haechan said explaining. Kicked out?

“Why?” I ask and Mark shrugs. “All I know is the y/n doesn’t qualify for any awards since the spring semester last year so she had to get loans for that semester before getting sponsored by a friend” Mark explained. “It's a lot more complicated than that… okay come on it's a busy and long day” 

y/n’s perspective

I fell asleep again… but I swore I didn’t even make it to my bed before I fell asleep… I got out of bed hoping I didn’t step on Jay like he asked when I saw he wasn’t even there?

“Jay?” I asked… Did he run away?! I was responsible for him and he left… No no no no! I had to call Haechan and now. But he wouldn’t answer.

Why?! 

I had to run out and ask any passing student if they saw a loose hybrid but he didn't even have a collar… I was screwed… so royally screwed. “You look more pathetic than usual” I heard as I saw e/n. Not her again… “What should I expect from my ex bestie huh?” she asked as she sat next to me…

“I don’t need this right now," I muttered and she laughed. “Well, why are you running like a lunatic?” she asked and she was his ex owner. Maybe she had him…?

“Jay is he–” “You’re the one who has him now?! Pathetic!” she said while laughing… “Oh did he run away!” she said now laughing some more. She was as mean as ever, wasn’t she?

“Pathetic, really, I can't believe we were ever friends?!” she said and I sighed… “You and e/n/ii, can’t believe I ever associated myself with losers like the two of you!” she said and I sighed. 

“How many times do I have to tell you to get a life?” I heard as I saw Chenle… and Haechan, Mark, but I never felt so much relief before seeing Jay with them. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, you poor thing you're well… with someone who went from rags to riches,” she said as she left. “You okay?” Haechan asked and I nodded.

“I was worried when I woke up and didn’t see Jay in the room…” I said, “Haechan left a note no?” Chenle asked and I shook my head. “Oops…” Haechan said as the two boys shook their heads at him. “Well, you know how you were gonna live in the apartment for two months just for summer? Well she’s coming back and needs the place to be clear so we got another solution for you” Chenle said and felt dread.

“Your financial aid covers apartments–” “No it doesn't! The apartments the school offers are way more expensive–” Chenle put his hands on my shoulders calming me down. 

“Let me explain… Having a hybrid does help scholarship-wise, so they offer more aid to those who have a hybrid with them and can’t afford financially as long as you keep your grades up” Chenle explained and I nodded. “But… I told Haechan it was temporary. I can’t afford a hybrid–” “I know, which is why it’ll only be a year. It's a temporary solution” Chenle said and I nodded. 

“Ok… I guess that's fine as long as there's enough space for two people” I said and he nodded. “Good! The place is already furnished and you already have some things so you’d just have to move them and you’re good! You don’t need to worry about Jay, we covered everything including the collar on his neck” he said and I hugged him. 

“Ok! No touching,” he said and I chuckled forgetting he hates affection. Or at least from those he isn’t the closest to… “Just settle in today and remember to take care of yourself. She’s coming back for the next school year and if she sees you’re here not taking yourself then what? She scolds you worse than I am” he said andI chuckled. 

“I’ll try the best I can”

I was exhausted after moving everything and now that everyone was gone I could relax on the comfy couch. “Are you hungry?” Jay asked and I was hungry… i haven't eaten since yesterday morning. 

“Hmm? Do you wanna order food?” I asked knowing I still had some money for food. “I can cook… I did all the grocery food stuff… I didn’t know what you liked but I got a variety” he said and I was shocked…

“Oh… well if you're okay with it?” I said and he nodded as he opened the fridge and started to prep. I watched and he looked so professional at it. I didn’t know I stared too long until our eyes met. “Uhm… wanna help?” he asked nervously and I smiled. “Sure! Though Im pathetic at the kitchen” I said and he chuckled. “I think you’ll do just fine,” he said as he told me to do simple things as he made food…

I could honestly get used to this… and Jay looked happy cooking. Maybe… this wasn’t a bad idea after all?

jay’s perspective

I’ve never had an owner cook with me before let alone let me experiment on recipes. Her telling me she doesnt expect high end dishes made sense but also gave me some relief. 

Something about her didn’t make sense though… she had the manners of every owner i’ve had while sitting at the table with me. 

Was it just a coincidence? Maybe one of her friends taught her? That would make sense–

“Jay! You’re such a good cook!” she said grinning now finished…

“Thanks… but all I do is follow recipes,” I said and she smiled. “Trust me I couldn’t follow a recipe for the life of me… but if you want I can borrow some recipe books for you to experiment?” she asked and I felt myself smiling and even the few feathers I still had twitching. “I would appreciate that,” I said and she smiled. “Here I’ll clean the dishes,” she said and I nodded. 

“I’ll help clear the table,” I said as we did our jobs in a peaceful silence… “Hey, Jay… you know you don’t need to sleep on the couch I really don’t mind sharing the bed with you,” she said and I sighed. Just cause we now had a small apartment didn’t mean they gave us two rooms… just one bed and a couch, At least this time it was a double bed. 

“Sure…” I said and she smiled relieved… she was too kind for her own good. 

Too bad it’s only a temporary thing… its always temporary but even though I experienced the lavish life this might be my favorite. 

I shouldn’t be getting used to this stupid mundane lifestyle with her. I shouldn’t even be accepting her comfort or kindness when in the end ima… end up somewhere else. 

The next day I tried my best to not succumb to her kind smiles or sweet eyes. Instead, i tried to dismiss her, but I don’t think that’ll make her take the hint. 

I was again at my least favorite place in the world… the etiquette classes. I already knew everything i was just here because… everyone said there was something wrong with me and thats why I could never keep an owner. 

“I was told to be friendly with you” I suddenly heard as I saw Jake… I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Anyway, why would you think I'd return the favor?” I asked and he shrugged.

“Cause you're outcasted and have no friends,” he said and I stayed silent. “Not like im aby better” he said and I guess that was true… once a stray always a stray.... at least in their eyes. 

“What's your new owner like?” he asked and I scoffed. “It's temporary so don't worry about it” I mutter and he sighs. “Are you even trying to convince her?” he asked and I scoffed… she doesn't have the time for a hybrid and she’s constantly studying nor does she really have funds to take care of me… at least not really?

“Jay’s having trouble keeping another owner? Yeah just give up at this point!” Sunghoon said and I scoffed. “I could say the same thing about you, with her remembering you–” Suddenly he grabbed my collar pressing his claws at my neck. “Don’t you dare mention a thing about her” he muttered and I knew deep down he was having probably an even worse time than me. 

“You should be busy with yourself over my problems,” I said and he chuckled. “You don’t know a thing” he muttered. “Sunghoon stop before the both of you get in trouble” Sunoo now said and he scoffed. “Get out of my business, will you? What did I say? Leave me alone!” he yelled at the fox… how strange that Sunghoon switched up on Sunoo so quick… in the span of one week everything changed one day. 

“Ok class–” Suddenly he let me go and everything was calm again until the end of the day. 

She wasn’t late this time… instead, she was waiting for me. I need her to stop looking at me with those bright eyes… how could someone so tired and burnt out look at someone like me with those kind and energetic eyes? 

“How was class?” she asked but It was the best we didn’t get used it. 

“Why do you care?” 

taglist -> @ilovecheese09 @gudkc @nikisvanillaccola @blossominghunnie @mheretoreadff @k1ttylvr @starzniiky @kibs-and-bits @b3tt7boop @in-somnias-world @lol6sposts @xiaoderrrr @jihyosgfremade @b-a-nshee-blog @mimisamisasa @katsukis1wife @eggomi @thunderous-wolf @tinyteezer @lilactangerine @starfallia @sousydive @bearseulgs @rooomeo

please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

The Demigod On Earth - Steve Rogers x Reader (Better Late Than Never)

Summary: You and Steve get ready for your second little one to arrive

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Light Angst! FLUFF! Brief Mention of Childbirth!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Better Late Than Never

One of the things you missed while pregnant was coffee, especially when stepping into a coffee shop knowing you already had your one cup that day and couldn’t have anymore. You probably should have waited to have your one cup but you couldn’t classify yourself as human before your first cup of coffee in the morning. But it was where you and Steve had agreed to meet Sam and Bucky so you had to put up with it. 

“Hey, you’re looking great” Sam smiled as he got up from his chair to hug you. 

“Thank you, feeling pretty big, she’s a kicker too” you chuckled as you sat down. 

“We’ve got a future soccer player on our hands, what would you like princess?” Steve asked nodding to the counter. 

“Just a fruit tea, oh and a cookie and sugar doughnut,” you said making Steve chuckle. 

“At least your cravings are more normal this time” he muttered as he walked away. 

“How’s JJ?” Bucky asked. 

“He’s good, first day back at school today which he was pretty excited about, he loves seeing his friends” You smiled as you relaxed back in your chair, resting your hands on your bump. 

Steve returned with your drink and snacks, you glanced over at his drink curious as to what coffee he’d gone for, hoping to get a sniff of caffeine “Tea, in this together remember” he said as he sat down “How have you guys been?” he asked turning his attention to Sam and Bucky. 

“Good, mostly uneventful” Sam started. 

You listened to what they’d been up to while snacking on your food, your little sweetpea clearly happy with the treats too as she kicked away. 

“You back to work?” Sam asked you. 

“Kinda, I don’t have any classes this year because of this little one,” you said pointing to your bump “and I’ll be going on maternity in a couple of weeks”

“Yeah we’re both taking leave when Y/N reaches 35 weeks just in case this one is like her older brother” Steve chuckled but you frowned over at him.

“Both?” you asked arching a brow, since this was news to you.

Steve took a long sip of his tea before answering “Yeah” he started as he wiped his lips “I cleared it with my boss that I can take early paternity leave”

“But why? We agreed I’d take leave at 35 weeks but you’d take it once she actually arrived” you reminded him. 

“I changed my mind, I didn’t like the idea of working when you went into labour again,” Steve told you with a casual shrug of his shoulders. 

You groaned and pinched the bridge of your nose “Steve, seriously? You didn’t think to talk to me about this?” you huffed.

“Should we step away for a bit?” Sam interjected pointing over his shoulder. 

“No this won’t take long” you said holding out your hands, not looking away from Steve “Why did you do this Steve? Why didn’t you talk to me about it”

“Because I wanted to be with you from the beginning this time! What if she’s early and I’m at work?” he argued. 

“Our OBGYN has been monitoring for that, she says I’m showing no signs of early labour and it was probably a miscalculation with JJ or the stress of being on the run!” you reminded him “Plus you work at the gallery now, you won’t be far away”

“I know but I want to be home with you!” Steve argued shaking his head. 

“But you don’t need to be!” you huffed.

“Guys back me up here” Steve said turning to Sam and Bucky who had been watching like it was a tennis match but now looked like deer in headlights. 

“Uh,” Sam muttered looking away, the basic decor of the coffee shop more interesting. 

“I um see both sides” Bucky offered hesitantly. 

“C’mon pal” Steve sighed. 

“Look we were both there last time remember, I get why you want to be there” Sam said leaning forward “but you were on a different continent last time and still got there in time, you work in the same state now if something happens while you’re working you won’t miss a thing”

“You might be overthinking this one Steve” Bucky said gently “and it was so stupid to agree to this without talking to Y/N” he huffed shaking his head in disbelief. 

“Thank you buck,” you said as Steve sighed “Look Steve I get it” You started turning as much as you could to face him “But honestly I was looking forward for it to be just me and JJ for a few weeks before our little sweetpea comes along” you explained “I’m not going to be able to spend much time with him and I don’t want him to feel forgotten”

Steve sighed and nodded his head “That makes sense, that was kinda my thinking too but with you”

“Okay, why don’t we compromise then? How about 38 weeks?” you offered “That way I have 3 weeks with JJ and you and I have 2 weeks if everything goes to plan and this one doesn’t arrive early. 

“That works, I’m sorry for not discussing this with you” he apologised. 

“It's okay, you’re just lucky we got our treats before we found out” you smirked making him laugh. 

“God I thought we were all gonna become icicles then” Sam muttered under his breath. 

As it turned out it didn’t really matter when Steve took his paternity leave. 36 weeks rolled around and there was nothing, then 38 and still no movement. You felt pretty confident that your sweetpea was going to arrive perfectly on time. Except 40 weeks came and went, and then 41. 

As much as you enjoyed the extra time you were having with JJ and Steve and you knew they you would eventually miss being pregnant. You were miserable. You were so large and uncomfortable and you were desperate to finally meet your little girl. 

You forced a brave face around JJ, his empathetic skills were top level and you didn’t want him to worry about. Steve could tell you were struggling though as he tried to take things off your hands, which sometimes backfired because you also didn’t want to be babied. Your mind felt like a minefield.

You had tried everything that your OBGYN suggested, bouncy balls, spicy food, sex, but nothing was working so they booked you in for an induction when you hit 42 weeks. 

The night before your induction you made sure you put JJ to bed since this was his last night as an only child and you wanted to be the one to do so before you became busy with his sister. 

You found it surprisingly emotional to say goodnight to him, you managed to hold back your tears though until you walked into your bedroom and sat yourself down on the bed. Steve who was in the bathroom instantly rushed over to you when he saw your tears.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Is it happening?” he asked cupping your cheeks.

You shook your head “No I’m just so tired and putting JJ to bed was more emotional than I thought and I know I should be excited that she’ll be here tomorrow but I wanted her to be here already” you pouted. 

“I know princess,” Steve said soothingly “These past weeks have been really tough on you, you’ve been so strong to get through them” 

“I just don’t get it, part of me thought she might come a little early like JJ or perfectly on time because she’s your kid,” you said earning a snort of laughter from Steve “But late? I just don’t get it”

Steve sighed as he moved to sit beside you, his arm looping around you as you rested your head on his shoulder “I wish I had the answers sweetheart” he rubbed your back soothingly, the aches you’d been feeling lessening with his touch “I would make a FRIENDs joke but I don’t think you’d appreciate that” 

You let out a watery chuckle “You would be correct” 

Steve gave you a soft smile before kissing the top of your head “Look let's get some rest, tonight is going to be our last night of uninterrupted sleep for a while so let's make the most of it and all of the uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings will be gone tomorrow and we’ll have our little sweetpea” he told you.

“You’re forgetting the excruciating part that is the actual labour” you pointed out. 

“Okay but you were incredible last time and you’ll be incredible this time, you can break my hand and cause a heatwave in the middle of October” Steve smirked earning another small chuckle from you.

“Thanks Stevie, I know I’ve been a bit of a monster recently” you apologised.

Steve shrugged “It's okay, I better get used to you two girls teaming up on me” he smirked “C’mon let’s get you ready for bed”

You weren’t sure exactly how long you’d been asleep, only a couple of hours at least, but you woke to a sudden cramping sensation followed by liquid seeping between your legs. You immediately knew what was happening.

“Steve wake up” you prodded him as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position.

Steve was up like a shot, almost like he’d been zapped with electricity especially with his hair stuck up in all directions “What? What’s happening? What’s wrong?” he asked quickly.

“My water’s just broke,” you told him, wincing as a contraction hit.

“Shit, right okay” he muttered running his hands through his hair which just made it even more wild “Let me call the hospital” he grabbed his phone from the nightstand, squinting when the bright light lit up his face.

“Okay I’m gonna get changed” you said as you pushed yourself out of bed. 

You grabbed the gown you had been planning on wearing at the hospital from the bag and waddled your way into the bathroom to change. 

When you walked back out Steve was just ending the call with the hospital “They said to come straight in” he told you as he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and pulled them on. 

“But Bucky and Sam aren’t supposed to be here until the morning” you pointed out. 

“I know I’ll call them from the car in the meantime I’m gonna run around to Tanya and ask her to come over and watch JJ until they can get here” Steve pulled on his jumper, initially the wrong way around before fixing it. 

“Okay, I’ll get the bags and meet you in the car” you nodded. 

The reality of what was happening suddenly sunk in, you were about to have your little girl. A smile grew on both your and Steve’s faces.

“Guess she takes after her mother” he smirked as you made your way downstairs, earning a confused look from you since you weren’t the kind of person to be late “She likes to do things on her own terms”

You scowled at him “Thin ice rogers”

Steve visibly gulped “Noted”

Once Tanya was in your house ready for if JJ woke before Sam or Bucky got there, you made your way to the hospital. You called Bucky and Sam on the way, both sounded groggy when they picked up but once you said you were in labour and heading to the hospital they both woke up pretty quickly. You didn’t think Tanya would be hanging around long. 

Soon after arriving at the hospital, you were taken to your room ready to settle down, your OBGYN coming in to check on you.

“Well looks like someone likes to work to their own schedule” she smiled as she walked in to examine you “Let's see where you are… okay you are at 7cm already”

“7 already? It took forever with JJ!” you exclaimed in shock.

“It's usually quicker the second time around, only a few hours, and the actual pushing part is shorter too” she explained as she stood back up “Do you know what position you want to use?”

“Uh yeah on all fours, I read the second can be bigger so I’m hoping gravity helps” you said, wincing when a contraction hit.

“Okay, not a problem, I’ll check back on you soon, get some rest and call if you get the urge” she nodded.

Once she was gone Steve turned to look at you “How come you were nice to her when she said the same as me?”

“Because she’s the doctor, I need her and her drugs on my side” you stated.

Steve nodded “Fair enough, do you need anything?” he asked.

You pouted “Rub my back? It kills”

“Sure thing princess” he smiled softly as he stepped closer. 

He offered you one hand to hold while the other rubbed your back, focusing on your lower back where the pain was.

Just like your OBGYN said it didn’t take long at all for your little sweetpea to be in your arms.

“She looks just like you, so beautiful,” Steve said softly, tears in his eyes as he looked down at the little girl in your arms. 

“I can’t believe she’s finally here” you sniffled as you brushed the top of her head gently, smiling as she shifted in your arms. 

“You did incredible princess just like I said you would” Steve smiled as he kissed the top of your head “You should get some rest, you look exhausted”

“Not yet, I wanna hold her a little longer” you yawned, shaking your head. 

“Okay, shift over then” he said before moving to rest beside you, one arm around your shoulder, the other resting underneath yours which held your little girl. 

You tried to stay awake for as long as possible, not wanting to take your eyes off of your sweetpea, but eventually you couldn’t fight it any longer. You felt Steve lift the little girl out of your arms as you drifted off. 

You woke a couple of hours later and saw Steve sitting in the chair beside you, his shirt off as he held the little girl so she was resting against his bare chest. You could see the love in his eyes as plain as day as he looked down at the little girl, you knew he was going to spoil her rotten. Steve was so distracted that he didn’t even notice you were awake and had taken a photo of the two of them until you reached out to put your phone back down.

“Hey, feeling better?” he asked softly. 

You nodded, a warm smile on your face as you looked back at him. It reminded you of when JJ was born and how little he’d been. 

“I’ve let Sam and Bucky know that she’s here and you’re both doing okay” Steve told you. 

“Is JJ okay?” you asked with a small yawn as you sat up. 

“Still asleep since it's pretty early still” Steve said nodding to the clock which said it was only 6 am. 

“Gosh, I thought it was later” you muttered, time didn’t seem to exist when having a baby. 

“Yeah, I suggested that they brought JJ over at midday so you could get some more rest” he told you.

“Good idea, I can’t wait for him to meet her though” You smiled, the thought alone was absolutely adorable. 

“Me neither, he’s going to be such an amazing big brother” Steve smiled softly. 

By the time midday had rolled around both you and Steve felt more rested and were frankly itching for JJ to get here and meet his little sister. 

You were holding her when finally there was a knock at the door and three heads popped in, the sight made you chuckle. 

“Hey, how are you?” Sam asked as they walked in. 

“I see no cremated plants so I’d say pretty well” Bucky smirked. 

“They’ve already taken the plant that she caused to burst out of its pot out of here” Steve answered making Bucky laugh. 

“Hey Bean” you smiled turning your attention to JJ who was holding himself back “wanna come meet your little sister?”

“Can I?” he asked bouncing slightly on his feet, like he was struggling to hold back the excitement. 

“We said he couldn’t come running straight in and had to be careful” Sam explained quietly to Steve. 

“Of course sweetheart,” you said to JJ patting the space next to you on the bed.

Steve helped lift JJ up onto the bed, the boy’s eyes widening in awe when he saw the little girl for the first time. 

“She’s so tiny” he muttered in amazement “She looked bigger in your belly” he added making everyone chuckle.

“She felt bigger then too” you smiled “Do you want to know her name?”

JJ nodded excitedly “Yes please” 

“Okay JJ this is Natalia Freya Rogers,” you said introducing him to her.

“Like Auntie NatNat?” JJ asked his brows furrowed slightly.

“Yes, NatNat meant so much to us that we decided to name your sister after her” Steve explained, his throat thick with emotion. 

“And you can call her Talia, it’s her nickname like how yours is JJ,” you told him. 

“It's really pretty” JJ smiled. 

“Where does Freya come from?” Sam asked as he smiled over at the three of you. 

“It's an English variation of Frigga” You explained. 

“That’s your mommy” JJ pointed out. 

“That’s right bean, like how your middle name is Daddy’s Dad, Talia’s middle name is my mom’s” you explained to him before looking over at Steve with a warm smile “Steve suggested it,” You had burst into tears when he suggested it and it was only partly due to the hormones. 

“Can I hold her?” JJ asked. 

“Of course, just hold your arms out like this” Steve said demonstrating how to hold his arms so he could cradle Talia. 

“We need to be very gentle remember, and she’s heavy so I’ll help hold her” you said as you carefully shifted Talia into his arms, making sure her head was still supported.

JJ giggled as she squirmed slightly at the movement before settling down once more. You smiled softly before glancing over at Steve who was taking a quick photo with tears in his eyes. 

“Congrats man, she’s adorable” Bucky smiled, patting Steve on the shoulder.

“Thanks, and thank you for coming in the middle of the night” Steve said to the both of them.

“It's nothing, we’ll do it again for the next one” Sam smirked.

A smile tugged at the corner of Steve’s lips, he glanced over to you with a silent question on his face. You nodded with a smile of your own. 

“Well we wouldn’t expect anything less from their godfathers” Steve said.

Sam blinked a couple of times before realisation dawned on his face “Nah man, really?” he said in disbelief. 

“Really, we’d love for you to be Talia’s godfather” you smiled. 

Sam smiled and shook his head “You two are gonna make me cry” he said making you chuckle.

“Welcome to the godfather club” Bucky laughed as he clapped Sam on the shoulders. 

The first couple of weeks as a family of 4, 5 if you included Scout which of course you did, had been incredible. You had been a bit nervous about finding your feet and a new schedule but it was like riding a bike. You and Steve found your rhythm easily and you could see that Steve was far more confident this time around. 

It was Halloween and for the day you had decided to go out to a local farm which was holding a fall fair. You had Talia strapped to your chest, her pumpkin beanie on which looked adorable. 

You watched as Steve and JJ scoured through the pumpkin field to find the perfect pumpkin to carve. Steve had suggested a few but none had been perfect enough for JJ. JJ definitely had an artistic vision in mind and was not willing to compromise for it.

Eventually, he had found one that was perfect and Steve lifted into the wheelbarrow which already contained the ones you and him had picked up for yourselves. JJ rushed back over to you and took your hand to lead you back to the barn. You glanced over your shoulder you smiled at Steve who was pushing the wheelbarrow.

“I picked out a pretty one for Talia too,” JJ told you as you walked back to the barn.

“That’s really sweet of you Bean, are you gonna help carve it?” you asked him. 

“Yeah, do you think she’ll like a cat on it?” JJ asked as he looked up at you, trying to peak at Talia. 

“I think she would really like that JJ, what are you going to do?” you smiled as Talia shifted slightly, snuggling further into you. 

“It’s a secret, only me and daddy know” JJ grinned up at you, he then paused and let out a dramatic gasp “What if Scout hates the cat pumpkin?”

You chuckled softly and squeezed his hand reassuringly “I’m sure Scout will be perfectly fine with a pumpkin cat, he’s a smart puppy”

JJ tilted his head as he thought before nodding his head “Yeah you’re right, I taught him to high-five yesterday” JJ grinned. 

“And now he’s the coolest dog at the dog park” you smirked. 

Back in the barn you got some hot drinks and got some food, you and Steve shared a pumpkin pie while JJ had a caramel apple. JJ sat beside you and kept smiling over to Talia who was sat on your lap, her eyes darting around the barn at all the different colours. 

Once you got back from the fair you fed Talia and put her down for a nap before joining the boys to carve the pumpkins. You had only been gone for 30 minutes tops and the kitchen island looked like a pumpkin explosion, both boys had pumpkin seeds and guts over them.

“We had a bit of a food fight” Steve explained with a sheepish smile when you arched a brow in question. 

“Well as long as it doesn’t become a regular thing” you said as you pulled a bit of pumpkin out of Steve’s hair and a seed from his beard. 

You sat down next to JJ who gave you a sideward glance and turned his pumpkin so you couldn’t see his creation until he was ready to show it off. You chuckled to yourself as you got your own tools and made a start on your own pumpkin. 

Once you were all done you carried the out to the front porch, you and Steve had both gone for a traditional design. Talia’s which JJ had helped with was a cute little cat face and JJ had carved out Mike from Monsters Inc. His was definitely the best out of all of them. 

It wasn’t much later that Sam and Bucky rocked up in their costumes, which were both Dogs costumes, one red and one grey. They both agreed to take JJ trick or treating for you so you and Steve had an evening alone together while Talia slept. JJ bounced down the stairs when they turned up in his blue dog costume, completing the trio as Bluey. 

“You guys look great” Steve chuckled as the three of them posed for photos. 

“Only the best for my godson” Bucky grinned as he ruffled JJ’s hair, knocking his dog ears slightly to the side. 

“You guys have fun and don’t stay out too late, or eat too much candy while you’re out” you reminded them as you walked them to the door.

“Sure,” Sam said with a conspiratory wink and a tap to his nose “C’mon little man” he held out his hand to JJ.

“You two have fun, but not too much fun” Bucky winked earning an eye roll from Steve. 

“Trust me we don’t have to worry about that for another month” Steve said you two walked them out, earning a slap on the chest from you.

“Disgusting” Bucky groaned “That is not what I meant at all”

“Have fun, we’ll see you pups later” you smiled waving goodbye. 

Once they were gone you and Steve collapsed on the couch together “So what kind of fun do you want to get up to? You do heal quicker than the average person” he asked with a smirk. 

“As much as I’d like to I think I need another couple weeks,” you said “and honestly I just want to curl up on the couch with you, eat some candy and watch a cosy movie”

Steve smiled softly over at you “Done princess” he said wrapping his arm around you and pulling you into his embrace. 

At that exact moment, the baby monitor came to life and you could hear the cries of Talia making both you and Steve sighed heavily “I’ve got it” Steve murmured, kissing the top of your head. 

A few minutes later Steve reappeared holding Talia who was snoozing away with her head on his shoulder “She wouldn’t stay down in her bassinet” Steve explained quietly as he sat back down on the couch.

“She’s already got you wrapped around her little finger” You smiled rubbing her back softly, smiling when she let out a yawn and nuzzled further into Steve’s neck. 

“Yeah” Steve sighed not even bothering to deny it “I didn’t realise how much I missed this age, even if the sleepless nights are hard”

“Me too, we’ll just have to savour it for now until we decide to have another” you agreed with a small smirk. 

Steve’s eyes widened “Really? So soon?” he asked.

You shook your head “Gods no” you scoffed, as much as you liked being pregnant and part of you already missed it, getting pregnant so soon after giving birth was not what you wanted “Let's wait until she’s at nursery at least, a 2-year gap seems like a good one”

Steve smiled “Yeah that sounds like a good plan, now c’mere I want to cuddle with my girls” he said holding his arm out for you to snuggle up.

Sharing is caring so please reblog if you enjoyed this and maybe even leave a comment to make my day!

I have no schedule, please don’t ask when I will be updating!

Masterlist / Masterlist

I don’t have a tag list so follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary​ and turn on post notifications for updates!

[fiend-shaped]

Teens sleep headcanons

Can you tell what im supposed to be doing rn lol

Taylor:

-Taylor has to build himself an exosuit of pillows in order to be comfortable (hence the exorbitant number of bodypillows)

-he has a large bed but always presses himself into the corner

-falls asleep very easily even when he's trying to stay awake

-one christmas morning when he was 8 Cassandra found him asleep in the living room with a sword

-when she woke him he cried because he'd missed his chance to challange santa to single combat and would have to wait another year to try again

-morning person, somehow in a non-obnoxious way

Normal:

-Normal always kicks off his blanket

-he moves around a lot and has fallen off of his bed on more than one occasion

-when he was 10 he begged his parents to let him have a bunk bed but they were justifiably worried he'd hurt himself

-he always has trouble falling asleep but once he's out it's very hard to wake him

-he tried using an alarm for a while but it didn't matter how loud or long it was, he always slept through it

-usually Hero has to wake him and more often than not she just drops a cold washcloth on his face

-pretends very hard to be a morning person

Scary:

-Scary tried to make herself sleep in a coffin pose but it didn't work

-She sleeps with socks on

-one time she had a dream where Terry Junior had been her dad since she was born

-after that she didn't really talk to him for about 2 days 

-when she was younger (before tj) she always made sure to arrange her stuffed animals so that they would all be equally close because she didn't want any of them to feel left out

-is genuinely not a morning person but also plays it up quite a bit

Lincoln:

-Lincoln has to be against a wall or he has a hard time sleeping

-he keeps his windows wide open, even when it's cold outside

-no problem falling asleep but usually wakes up multiple times a night

-is extremely comitted to making the football asmr thing work (at this point it kinda does but for the first few months it kept him awake and he just really didn't wanna admit it)

-is basically a morning person but not used to waking up for school yet

Bonus:

-Hermie has insomnia

-when he can't sleep he lies in the dark and 'runs lines'

-sometimes it's movies or plays he likes, sometimes it's rehearsed conversations and monologues

-when he can't remember a line (or hasn't thought of it yet in the conversation/monologue case) he repeats the last thing he said over and over until he figures out what comes next

-as part of his deep cover operation to steal the mascot costume he conviced his parents that he'd started taking a special morning class at chaparral. He needed to do this because his father always dropped him off on the way to work and he needed enough time to take the bus over to san dimas high in time for actual school to start. (Yes, this means that he hasn't been attending high school for the better part of a year and that his parents have somehow not noticed this)

-has to get up so so early for this stupid fucking scheme why is he doing this to himself i don't even care about chaparral high (internal monologue of the unfortunate compulsive scammer)

-tries (read: fails) not to nap throughout the day in hopes it'll fix his sleep schedule

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon(ish) Advice Asks - May 9

@ameliatheperson , @teasiswriter , hair anon, 100% anon, personal anon, folklore anon, therapist anon

@ameliatheperson

hi cas! this a bit of a vent/advice maybe? im not using anin bc I've talked about this on this acc anyway, but I just don't know what to do about this.

so I have severe scoliosis, right bordering the surgical threshold. it gets x rayed about every 6-9 months, since it's pretty likely to get worse as I become an adult. this should be fine, it's my reality. the only thing is that my back has been hurting a lot more than normal this past week, in the way that it did when my curve worsened after I stopped wearing my brace. I'm really anxious about it, because if I need surgery, it will ruin my entire senior year of highschool, and there's nothing I can do to prevent it from worsening and I can't even know whether it has gotten worse until August.

I know I shouldn't worry about things out of my control, but I just need to talk to someone about it. the thing is I hate talking to my siblings or parents because they get very uncomfortable whenever I talk about it (understandably) and I don't want to burden my friends and make them uncomfortable. there is one person who has gone through the same thing or almost, but tbh I don't know where I stand with her, it's complicated. we have a school counselor, but I'm scared to talk to her for a couple reasons. I'm just hoping you have any other ideas for what to do? I've tried to help by journaling, but that never really helps me. I'm sorry, this got so long!!!

Hi!

Wow, that sounds so scary, and I completely understand why you're anxious about it. I feel like you have the right ideas for what do do about it- talking, journaling, etc. Is there any way you can go to the doctor sooner to get peace of mind?

Either way, you're welcome to vent to me all you want! I can't pretend to understand but I'm always willing to listen, and venting about things can be really helpful. Remember to continue to wear your brace and do whatever else your doctor has said to do!

___

@teasiswriter

Hihihi so I have a ton of rings that I wear daily (9 in total, 6 on one hand and 3 on the other) and I kinda have a problem with “main character syndrome” I guess? In the sense that sometimes I do things hoping someone will compliment me or notice me, so I can have self esteem, but I’ve been shifting away from that and have been doing things for myself recently and I realized how good that people noticing me for actually being myself (and also, actually being myself) can feel!

In drama class someone commented on all the rings and so I just had like, a group of 5 people ask me about all of my rings and the stories behind them and I got to tell them. One of them said “yeah with your hand gestures and movements you were doing when you were talking I kept noticing them and was wondering about them all”

Like, oh my gosh???? People noticed my hand gestures???? I’m known for having hand gestures???? I barely noticed that about myself???? You like my rings????? Thank you they’re the way I express things I don’t know how to write???? They’re the trinkets I keep with me that make me feel safe???? Thank you for noticing my existence???????? I love you?????????

Anyways, it rocked and today was an okay day! Soooo yeah :D

hahaha this made me giggle because it's relatable. I think it's nice to be noticed for something you do to be yourself, you know? Like instead of doing something purposely to be noticed, you do something for yourself, and then STILL get noticed. It feels a hundred time better.

I'm glad you had a good day!

___

usaid anon

Hey its usaid anon,

So... fuck. Not to anything in paticular just what the fuck.

But the point of this ask is theres been word of a 15% cut in EVERY department WITHIN the state department. And the med department (the department my mom works for) isnt that big. Not to mention the are only 10 people with the job she has, meaning her name is up there. As she said theyre "an easy part of the 15"

Ive been trying to look on the bright side of everything so rn the small comforts are that i will 100% be staying until the end of the school year (3 weeks but as i said, small comforts) and there are pros of going back to the u.s. so far i have:

I could actually go to protests

Chipotle

Family

If it happens to my friend in china too we could see each other more often

I think thats it.

SIDE NOTE: FUCKING JD VANCE CAME HERE TO INDIA. Its so stupid. He went for his kids spring break but he didnt want to pay for it so he sceduled some meetings on the monday and then got his vacation for free bc it was technically a """""business trip"""""". Kind of funny thing about the visit tho. They obviously need staff from the embassy and they were struggling to find people willing to join bc it was vance. Which is rlly funny to me.

Im really trying to find a balance between being informed and knowing whats going on and not focusing on this ALL the time.

Hi <3

I'm so sorry, that's terrifying. I wish I could do something to help. I do have to say though, chipotle being on your list of positives is such a vibe. And you're not wrong at all.

I'm sending you so much love, and please keep me updated. I hope things turn out well for you and your family <3

___

hair anon

Hey, how’ve you been? Sorry for the incoming vent

I’m having a very bad gender day. It’s spirit week and I was asked to dress either emo or preppy but it made me super dysphoric and I wore my normal stuff. And I might be late for school because of all the different things I was changing in and out of to make myself feel better. I don’t even know what gender I want to look like. I don’t even know what name I want to be called. It makes me sad and angry for no reason. I don’t want to hate my body, I worked so hard to like it again. And my binder doesn’t help much. I hate my boobs and I hate my legs and I hate spirit week and I want to scream and cry and yell.

—Hair anon

Hey Cas, I’m sorry for another ask so soon

I’m just, having a very bad gender day again. My hair, my chest, my legs, everything. I can’t wear a binder because it causes me so much chest pain, and my parents won’t be thrilled if I ask for another one, so now I’m stuck, in the summer, with some big annoying boobs that won’t go away! They’re like, the forefront of ALL my normal sized shirts and make me sweat so much. If my bra is too loose it flops and if my bra ACTUALLY FITS ME it’s all big and in your face. I hate it. Like, I don’t even know how to style myself with my boobs. And summers in like, 2 months which is usually when I experiment with my style and stuff so I’m stuck looking like a massive weird freak.

Sorry. I shouldn’t say that. I learned that my thoughts about myself can actually become things I believe if I say them enough. I just feel so gross and insecure. I feel disproportionate.

I just can’t wait until summer, where I won’t be around my classmates 24/7, so I won’t get so many questions if I braid my hair to grow it out, or if I start dressing differently, etc.

My hair is just stressing me out. Everything is so stressful especially when my mind is insistent on fighting itself!! :(

Anyways, I’m sorry for the downer of an ask. Thanks for being a listening ear

—Hair anon

Hi hon!

Please don't be sorry! I totally understand having a Bad Gender Day, and it sucks SO much. The icky feeling of changing a million times, feeling all itchy in your skin, nothing feeling right...it's awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You're always welcome to vent to me about that, and anything else. I wish there was something I could do </3 I'm proud of you for recognizing that your current binder isn't good for your chest. Have you tried TransTape? Sometimes it works better for people, depending on the shape of their body, or their other needs. If you do try it, make sure to follow the directions on ways to tape, and use oil to remove it. But yeah, a lot of people prefer it to binders!

___

100% anon

hii its 100% anon!

thank you sm for answering my ask<3

your like explanaition is so good bc ive been trying to undrstabd what it meens but now its clear!

and yeah ig i am kind of sure? or more or less sure that i dont like guys in a romantic way!

anyways thank you so much!

hope youre doing okayy<3

Yay, I'm so glad I could help! No problem at all!

____

folklore anon

folklore anon!

it took me a while to answer back but yeah..

i think youre right i shouldnt feel guilty abt how i feel but i still do and it sucks

but atleast,yes i had a great time there<3

my uncle gave me a kindle!

i hope youre having a great night/day

Yeah, it's definitely easier said than done- to not feel guilty. But I'm glad you had a great time! And a kindle is so exciting!

___

personal anon

heyy, its personal anon!

so my parents took us out last thursday for dinner, everything was good until they brought up grades abd school and how its "not my style" and how "i used to be so great" and how my grades are slowly dropping as if i dont already know that and hate myself for it!and guess what? they made me cry yay! so i went to the bathroom and cried for 5mins and didnt talk to them for the rest of the night<3 and the bext morning my mom was acting like nthg happened so yeah

Ugh that sounds AWFUL. And in public, too...I'd be so upset. I'm so sorry that happened. If you want to vent, I'm here <3

____

Therapist anon

Hi!

First of all, your sister sounds like a pain. Like yes, she's acting her age, but she's being annoying, and that's okay to say.

Honestly, Instead of just going to your parents and complaining, I would approach it like "___ is happening. What do you think I should do?" For example, "Sister keeps kicking me out even when I'm sick. What should I do?" And then see what they say. Don't say it sarcastically, say it like "You guys are smart, responsible adults. What do I do?" (even if you don't feel that way). Like.. make your problems their problems. Make THEM figure out a solution.

And if they won't? Idk, it's probably shit advice because it's not the nicest, but I'd probably find a way to make it their problem in another way. Like when you get kicked out, go sit with your parents and talk their ears off. When your sister won't hand you a pad, call your parents and ask them to hand you one. Make it their problem, because like...you're doing your best to cohabitate, so she needs to as well.

I hope things get better and your shoes are still perfect!

[skyteller143]

TILL DEATH DO US PART (1) • C.STURNIOLO

PARTS: 2 / 3

warnings: swearing, school😔💔

authors note: kinda shit but yk it gets better js stick around

——————————————————

summary: the most popular girl in school being known as a goody-too-shoes and the captain of the schools hockey team end up sitting with each other in class, she hates him and he hates her. until one day everything changes.

but remember, not every story has a happy ending.

enjoyyy

——————————————————

People wish to be popular. They wish for the crazy parties and all the “friends” that comes with it. But this makes me wonder do they wish for the secrets that are kept, do they wish for the bitchy glances that you get given simply because you walked past. do they wish for the eyes that are always on them.

But it’s clear that they don’t care about that. they care about the attention and so called fame that they desire so desperately they’d practically trade their soul for it.

it’s the first day back from summer break and i woke up at practically sunrise just to make sure that the stares aren’t as judgemental. doing my hair and makeup, picking out about 5 outfits before finding a good one. gosh sometimes i wish i could trade lives with someone who wasn’t a cheerleader and i could go to school wearing sweatpants, not worrying about being watched.

my outfit was a skimpy black skirt matched with a white crop top and a black puffy jacket. i straightened my hair and did my normal makeup.

since it was the first day back my schedule had changed meaning i was in all new classes. great.

when i got to school i met up with my best friend ivy and we caught up about what happened over the summer.

“yeah and then vacation boy asked for my snap” ivy rambled on “butttt i had to turn him down because he was like 25 but he was so fine” she giggled leaning on me a little as we stood at our lockers. Me and ivy had been friends since middle school we always had our lockers next to each other. well that was until this year.

“oh our lockers are one apart” ivy mumbled opening her locker. “huh” i looked down at the paper i had been given “oh”.

“bummer i wonder who is gonna be our locker buddy this year, maybe they could like be our new best friend!” she jumped excitedly. “yeah maybe” i laughed at her, she looked like a kid in a candy store. “ok we’ll i gotta get going meet me here at lunch” she walked backwards facing me for my reply. “yep! of course” i laughed.

i reached into my bag getting out a few books and pictures to put in my locker. when i was finished i headed to class. i sat in the back corner and put my headphones in. it’s too early for this. i made sure to sit by myself so i wouldn’t have to deal with some weirdo yapping my ear off for an hour and forty minutes. since it was the first lesson we were just meant to be meeting new people and interacting. however i already knew everyone in here so what’s the point?

about five minutes in everyone had stopped talking and the teacher was explaining what we would be doing this year when the door swung open and some boy walked in. i honestly couldn’t care less who he was so i continued jotting down notes when he sat down. next to me. i looked up to see who it was and rolled my eyes. of course the captain of the hockey team decided ‘oh yeah let’s sit right next to the only cheerleader in the room, she’ll love that.’

he huffed as he leant in his seat, crossing his arms. i looked at him to see he looked pissed off and i noticed that every other seat was full. oh.

i turned my music up and just kept to myself when he taps my shoulder. “what you listening to?” he asks. “music” i reply dryly hoping he’d just leave me alone. “no wayyy” he smirks “let me listen” he puts his hand out as if i’m a dog.

“first off, no. second off why would i share with you i don’t even know you” i rolled my eyes. “oh princess everyone knows me and you definitely do being cheer captain and all” he smirks at me. “oh yeah Chris i’m in love with you here have my airpod” i say sarcastically “oh come on just give it” he begs like a child, “i know you secretly love me” he laughs. “the only thing i know is that your ego is bigger then you dick baby” i pout at him and out my airpod back in. that shut him up.

after class i went back to my locker to meet ivy and i see that our new locker buddy is there. “hey” i call out to see who it was. “what do you want” they reply.

you’ve gotta be kidding me.

“why are you just standing there looking like an idiot, did you want something?” he asked clearly still annoyed about earlier. “no i was going to my locker” i mumble.

after about like 30 seconds of silence i speak up. “soo, this your locker?” what a stupid question.

“noo, i’m just putting my stuff in here for someone else” he reply’s sarcastically.

“jeez don’t get your titties in a twist, was just asking” i laugh slightly trying to ease some tension.

he slams his locker door and leans down so he’s closer to my face. “at least i have some” he smiles and walks away.

cunt.

——————————————————

feisty

——————————————————

taglist (if you wanna be added js comment and i’ll add you): @lacysturniolo @breeloveschris

——————————————————

[oppixite]

More Ronan Posting ft Temperance

Bc my new brainrot is about their relationship dynamic over the years <3

So like past posting said, Ronan and Emi met at a very very young age. Emi was kind of an antisocial child I think, just bc a lot of her socialisation happened with her siblings or in group settings normally one of her siblings could carry the conversation For her (shoutout Esperanza for being the sweetest and most social child ever 💯💯). So the first time Emi had to like stand alone and figure out how to navigate an interaction was when she started school, bc yk none of her siblings are in her class with her.

But ☝️ Ronan is

Ronan as a character is definitely more optimistic leaning? Like he’s friendly, he’s unintentionally charismatic, he’s kind of stupid but in an endearing way, resting cheerful face, very approachable. You may think baby him saw baby Emi and just like adopted her on the spot. WRONG!

Around the time Ronan started school was like the most difficult era of his childhood so he was very shy and anxious and avoided the other kids bc he was dealing with big complicated emotions and a whole new environment ! Ronan lore, his parents stopped being in his life (idk why yet tbh 💀) when he was little, and his aunts got custody - Emi met him shortly after this.

So their friendship was not extrovert adopting introvert - it was a small kinda scared kid with aggressive big sister instincts spotting a smaller and more scared kid and going “I can fix him… I can make it better”

And she could and she did! Emi being a buffer for Ronan gave him a source of stability he like desperately needed to find his footing in school, as well as a source of comfort in just having a friend who’s cool and nice to him and is entirely separate from all the bad parts of his life at that point. Escapism win ! She was really instrumental in helping Ronan get back to the sunny cheerful little kid he was always meant to be just by being his friend and understanding his anxiety 😎 they may be five years old but they are officially locked in to this friendship for life 💯💯

Emi doesn’t really remember much of when they were five because like. It was not a life altering notable time for her, so she low-key doesn’t realise how much impact she has had on Ronan’s life, while Ronan is like hero-worshipping her for at least the following three years LMAO

Emi also chose which random kid to pack bond with super well, because turns out her and Ronan really complete each-other. Ronan becomes Emi’s social buffer, while Emi’s the person he can go to to recharge and reset. And Emi is just happy that as long as she sticks by Ronan she doesn’t have to figure out how to talk to people. And even when she’s confident in her socialising she’s happy she doesn’t Have to talk to people. The mild downside is Ronan is the kind of kid who’s a little bit friends with everyone, so by being around him she has to be around a lot more socialising in general - but she doesn’t have to partake, and it means more people know to leave her alone. People definitely think Ronan has some kind of superpower for being able to make her laugh. But he just understands her, like she understands him <3

Not much more to say about their school years, they stay inseparable throughout it all, Emi spends like half her time at Ronan’s house because she gets along well with his aunts, and also even though she adores her family it’s nice to be at a quieter and less crowded house sometimes.

This brings us to Graduation 💀💀💀

Ronan moves away to unnamed big city, Emi moves away to nearby college, they lose touch (Ronan’s fault but like not really considering the circumstances) Emi blocks him thinking he ditched her for fame, you know all this already fr fr

But what I keep thinking about is. Emi last sees Ronan before the events of celebrity au, the day he moves away. She sees him, as like the epitome of himself, he’s full of hope and joy, he’s practically glowing with excitement, he’s off to chase his dreams and he’s clearly so so happy. That’s the last version of Ronan she sees.

And then when she sees him again, he’s . Kind of the same. He’s older, maybe a bit quieter, but hey that happens as you age, he’s so put together, he’s the image of a celebrity, and he’s . Here. On set of a movie that’s projected to be insanely successful. Everything clearly worked out for him. He’s got everything he wanted. And everything he wanted, his perfect life ,, didn’t include Emi.

Because she missed the in between 😭😭 she didn’t see the version of Ronan who’d lost a ton of weight from stress, who was burnt out and miserable every day, who was sad and scared and thought he’d ruined his entire life, and lost everything, that he was an unequivocal failure. The Ronan who thought his best friend cut contact because she knows him best, and she could see that ugly awful part of him everyone else politely pretended not to notice, but that Had to be there, and she left, because who wouldn’t? She didn’t see him hit rock bottom HARD - she saw the version of him who thought everything was gonna go his way, and the version of him who did have things going his way.

He’s much healthier when she does see him again but he’s not perfect, he’s still struggling with severe imposter syndrome, and he’s feeling a ton of pressure but Emi can’t read him like she used to be able to, so she doesn’t see it. Plus she’s a little biased 💀

When they meet again Emi is cold to him, like she’s purely 100% professional, but in a clearly weaponised way. He doesn’t get any of her kindness or her praise, she’s all business - which is a valid reaction based on what she thinks happened. To her she’s like, here’s a guy living his perfect life following his dreams and he got rid of me to do it - he might have everything, but he will not get my kindness. Fair! But unfortunately she’s wrong about what happened 😭

Ronan just accepts the way she treats him because he’s like yeah I deserve this (wrong but a remnant of his unhealthy mindset he’s 80% fixed, he’ll realise)

Eventually there’s gonna be something that pushes Emi to the edge and she’s gonna kinda lose it on Ronan or snap at him and expose how she thinks about him and what she thinks happened and Ronan is going to be like “what???” And she’s gonna get even madder bc she thinks he’s so uncaring he doesn’t even realise how messed up what he did was, but eventually she’ll realise he seemed. Genuinely confused. And that will be the start of them fixing things YIPPEEEEE

End of post even though I could keep going bc goddamn I really yapped for ages

[mattyriddlegf]

The Stupid Closet (25)

Happy release day Sunday! This is where the story kinda gets crazy, I hope you all buckle up and enjoy the ride ;)

Thank you for all of the support!!

-----------

Two weeks later, it’s finally the beginning of December and the semester is starting to rev up for finals. After this weekend, there are two full weeks left of school before the holiday officially starts.

You were trying to convince Mattheo to join your family at the Malfoy Manor for holiday instead of staying at Hogwarts…he never went home for the holidays. You had always felt bad but this year you were simply not going to let it happen. Even Draco liked the idea.

You walk down to the common room before class and instantly run into Theo, “Oh hey!”

You two had been acting normal with each other and occasionally studying together. Mattheo had been…skeptical at first but he knew what your relationship was before you were bed buddies.

“Hey” He responds, “wanna walk to class together?”

“Uh, sure” you smile. You didn’t have any classes with Mattheo today and Draco is preoccupied with Pansy at the moment so you walk out of the Slytherin house together.

You didn’t have the same class but your classrooms were next to each other.

“We’re still on to study for a bit tonight? That mythical creatures quiz is tomorrow and I’m not ready at all” he mentions as you walk through the castle.

“Yeah, wanna meet in the common room at 4? That gives me enough time to meet up with Mattheo after classes”

He glances to the side for a second, “right”

You reach your classrooms and turn towards each other, “see you later” you smile.

“See you later” He smiles lightly back before walking in.

Class goes by quickly, nothing really interesting happening. After you’re dismissed, you grab your books and start walking out. When you reach the hallway, you hear Cormac McLaggen call your name.

“I hope Mattheo can step up, I know being a father isn’t exactly he who shall not be named’s strong suit”

You turn around to face him, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Are you not pregnant? I thought you had gained a few in the past couple weeks so I just figured” He says cockily.

You stand there, your blood already boiling, “Cormac last time I remembered, you were still a virgin so I would focus on that if I were you”

“So defensive…I don’t hear you saying no”

You step forward, only inches away from him now, “Not that it’s your business but I’m not pregnant, asshole.”

“Better be careful, I’m sure Riddle will dip if it does happen” he says quietly. At this point, a couple of people are watching and Theo is walking out of his classroom. When he sees you, he stops and watches closely, ready to break the entire thing up.

“Don’t forget that Riddle can also beat your ass if he wants. You don’t want to see him live up to his family name, do you?” You practically spit.

Cormac stares at you for a second before smirking and walking off without another word. You watch him walk away, shaking your head as you scoff. Theo comes up and asks, “What was that about? Are you ok?”

“It’s about Mclaggen still being salty that I broke up with him in fourth year” you say emotionless, “I’m fine”

You smile softly before walking off in the other direction towards your next class. That jerk was so annoying. He always liked to get under your skin but to claim you’re pregnant? That was beyond childish of him. You didn’t want to tell Mattheo but you know that you should…you’ll tell him after class.

You go through the rest of the day, annoyed before your final class is finally dismissed, letting you go for the day. It was 3 o’clock, giving you an hour before your study session with Theo.

You walk back to the Slytherin house, finding Mattheo already in his room reading.

“Hi handsome” you say as you put down your books and get on his bed, sitting next to him.

“Hi baby, how was your day?” He asks, turning his attention to you.

“Uh, weird actually” You sigh, pulling your hands into your sleeves. Mattheo and Theo always kept their room cold and you were nervous to tell Mattheo about Cormac’s accusation.

“Really? What happened?” He sets his book down on his nightstand as he furrows his eyebrows.

You look at him for a second, contemplating before you speak up, “Ok, I’ll tell you but you have to promise to be normal about it. I’m serious, it’s already been handled, ok?”

He clenches his jaw a bit, skeptical about what you were going to tell him.

“Matty, I’m serious. Please?” You beg.

He takes a deep breath, “Ok fine.” You tilt your head not believing him, “I promise! I’ll even pinky promise” he adds as he holds out his pinky.

You interlock your pinky with his before you continue, “Cormac had a bit of a meltdown today and said some things…”

“Cormac? As in McLaggen? Didn’t you date him a while ago?”

You roll your eyes, “Ugh don’t remind me”

“What did he say?”

You stare into his eyes for a minute before finally admitting, “Well he said…” you pause for a moment, “ he claimed I was pregnant.”

“What the fuck?” Mattheo says, already pissed off.

“Oh that’s not it” You scoff before continuing, “he said that you won’t be there when or if it does happen because you’re a Riddle…” you trail off.

“That bastard is gonna wish-” he starts.

“Mattheo, you promised.” You say flatly, placing your hand on his arm.

He looks at you, jaw clenched, the gears obviously turning in his head.

“Matty. I swear I took care of it. He won’t be making comments like that again, alright? It’s ok. I promise.” you calmly explain.

Mattheo’s expression softens as he looks in your eyes. The look lingers for a minute before he speaks up, “alright, fine. I believe you.”

“Thank you” You smile before you lean in and kiss him.

He leans back on his bed so you can lay with your head on his chest. He holds his book up and reads out loud for a bit before you have to get up.

“Alright I have to go study with Theo” you mention as you scoot off the bed and slip your shoes back on.

“Funny how he suddenly cares about his grades.” Mattheo retorts quietly but just loud enough for you to hear it as he scoots, sitting at the edge of the bed.

You turn back and look at him, “Stop it. I picked you and I’m sticking with my decision. He can miss me all he wants but you are the one I love.” 

Mattheo stands up and adjusts his pants waistband, “I know and you’re so sexy for that”

You smirk as you walk up to him, looking up into his eyes as he looks down, “I have to go…but when I get back I’m all yours”

“Don’t tempt me.” He leans down and kisses you before you back away. You grab your books and head down to the common room to meet with Theo.

You find him sitting in the armchair by the fire, practicing spells with his wand quietly. 

“Hey” You smile as you walk up.

“Hey” he smiles back as he stands up, “Shall we?”

“Sure, let’s go” You head off to the library together. You were anticipating running into Draco and possibly Pansy but to your surprise, neither of them were seen.

“Alright let's get started” You say as you sit down at a desk and open your book. 

taglist: @helendeath @mayamonroem @princessluvssleep @hatakemrs @feistyfox47 @malydiavsss @schaebickel @swamp-box @iamdnb @cindyss @anime-tomicfox @gillybear17