#I was hoping for a normal school year // this is kinda better ( Class );

[jenscx]

BET ON IT — ahn yujin x f!reader

stereotypical jock ahn yujin is given a bet by her friends; take you, one of the smartest students in school, on a date. too bad you’re aware of the bet.

TAGS — literally all fluff, jock!yujin, yuj gets rejected a lot, popular x kinda nerd trope, ice hockey players r so fine, cursing

WORDCOUNT — 4.3k

when you first stepped into your new class, the tall brunette girl sitting at the back had caught your eye. she was wearing a varsity jacket and on her face adorned a boyish grin.

your cheeks had heated up when she sent a glance your way, and that’s when you realised, you had just found your newest object of infatuation. ahn yujin was just another hallway crush, blending into the crowd of high schoolers and standing out when she passed by your locker. she was eye candy for you and whenever you would see her, your day got significantly better.

once you were more settled in the school, you found out that yujin was unobtainable. way out of your league. a typical jock with a scholarship to an ivy league school. one that cared for neither studies nor academics. her only passion? playing ice hockey and with people’s hearts.

you had realised the latter when passing by a toilet cubicle. the sobs inside were too emotional and excruciating to ignore. despite your best efforts, your fist ended up knocking on the door and you had asked, “are you okay in there?”

inside of the cubicle was a girl, sobbing her eyes out. apparently, ahn yujin had promised to take her out on a date and even invited her back to her house but ended up ditching her. you had frowned, you could never have imagined the puppy-like girl you saw on the first day doing such a thing.

your infatuation for her slowly disappeared as you heard more and more stories of the atrocious things she would do to people. stomping on flowers, laughing at confessions and spreading rumours about people. ahn yujin was an asshole and a jerk. unfortunately she was an attractive one.

“y/n,” jiwon whispers, “is the answer x equals to negative five?”

you look up from your worksheet, for which you had doodled ahn yujin’s familiar smirk and quickly covered it.

“no. my answer is positive five. i think you made a mistake in the quadratic formula,” you explain, taking a peek at jiwon’s working. jiwon frowns and a shadow appears next to your desk.

the shadow actually startles you slightly. since the end of year examinations were nearing, lessons meant for teaching content were swapped to self-study sessions. normally, not a single person would move around, in fear of jeopardising their grades to fool around with friends.

thus, you were extremely confused as to why ahn yujin stood next to your table, eyes crinkling in a smile.

“hi,” she says, “i wanted to ask, how did you get a positive five for your answer?”

you can only stare at her in shock. due to her scholarship being on the line, you had thought yujin would have the top students tutoring her, as she had to keep an average of 70% for every semester.

so why was she talking to you now? wasn’t jang wonyoung a better option to ask?

“uhm, i think you forgot to…” you stare at her worksheet, “times 2 to the denominator.”

yujin’s eyes widen and you can’t lie that it’s adorable. jiwon shifts next to you nervously and you place a hand over hers, comforting her nerves.

“thanks! i owe you one!”

“oh… there’s no need…”

before you can even complete your sentence, she bounces back to her seat and smiles brightly at you. a quick whip of your head faces you with jiwon.

“did ahn yujin just talk to you?” she mumbles.

you rub the back of your neck, “i guess she did.”

for the first time in three years, you felt your feelings of infatuation resurface. ahn yujin, the girl at the top of your school’s social pyramid, just talked to you? and looked adorable while doing it?

and what does she mean by ‘she owes you’?

you just hoped it wouldn’t interfere with your studies. yujin was an enigma, one that would need countless hours of observation and detailed assessments to figure out her true colours. was her playboy act all a facade? or was this nice and cute classmate that you had actually just another one of her acting personalities to get what she wanted?

there were so many questions in your head that you didn’t even notice the bell ringing.

jiwon pulls you up and links your arms together, flashing a smile which snaps you out of your daydream.

“let’s go meet rei,” she says. you nod in agreement and let yourself be pulled all the way to the cafeteria. only at the table, you realise that you had left your phone back in the classroom.

rei had soon joined the table and you stood up abruptly.

“i left my phone in class, i’ll be back soon!” you inform your friends who wave you off. a quick few steps and you had arrived back at the classroom. notably, it was empty as students had all crammed to the cafeteria for a quick break before going back into revision.

except for the trio that sat at the back.

you raise your eyebrows and instantly recognise the smirk and brown hair of ahn yujin. she had kim gaeul and jang wonyoung sitting beside her, both of which had questioning looks on their face.

without much thought, you were planning to just walk in and take your phone swiftly. yet, the mutter of your name had made you pause in your steps.

“what was that with y/n during class?” wonyoung asks, head tilting in curiosity.

“what was what?”

gaeul scoffs, “you definitely knew how to do that question.”

“hm, did i? didn’t i look more like a stupid jock just needing assistance from one of the top scorers?” yujin laughs.

“you literally have me, the actual top scorer. y/n isn’t so stupid to buy your whole act. she’s actually a challenge,” wonyoung says. despite them discussing your intelligence in the open, you felt pride simmer at wonyoung thinking you were too smart to fall for yujin’s tricks.

“watch me.”

“okay… if she agrees on a date by the end of this month,” gaeul picks at her fingernails, “lunch is on me for the rest of the year.”

yujin chuckles, “it’ll be too easy.”

“and don’t fall for her,” wonyoung adds.

“still easy. this will be the easiest bet of my life.”

you hear the chair scraping against the floor afterwards. still debating on whether to retrieve your phone, you decide to ponder on what the bet entailed for you.

so one, yujin was definitely still a jerk. two, you would have to agree to a date by the end of the month for her to win. and three, she had no idea that you knew of this secret agreement.

huh.

you smile, finally having the upper hand over yujin for once. maybe this bet would teach yujin a lesson and help you live out your young fantasies.

“y/n!” you almost instinctively start to walk faster at the sound of yujin’s voice. all eyes turned to look at you and jiwon’s grip on your wrist tightened.

“good morning,” you nod. in one hand, a chocolate milk carton and in the other, a chemistry textbook.

yujin smiles sheepishly at you, “i was wondering… were you free this afternoon to tutor me in chemistry? i heard you were the top student of our year—”

“i’m not. wonyoung is,” you reply firmly. yujin falters for a second before bouncing back, “she isn’t free today since she has student council duties. i already tried asking her!”

if you didn’t know about the bet, you genuinely would have believed her convincing act.

“ah, well, i’m not free today.”

“oh? why?”

you gesture to jiwon, “going on a date!”

at that point, you hadn’t realised the impact of your words. those four words changed the trajectory of your life.

“d-date?!” yujin gapes.

you thought she looked like a fish. meanwhile, jiwon was desperately trying to drag you away from the crowd that was forming to witness ahn yujin being rejected.

“yup. so i can’t help you,” you say and wave goodbye to yujin, who stays rooted to the ground, almost jaw-dropped. truly, this was amusing. her reaction was terribly funny, considering that she had never once in her life been rejected before. and for you to be the one to do so? amazing.

yet, jiwon didn’t find it funny and began cursing you for ruining her school year. once word got out that her best friend was the one who rejected yujin, she would not be able to live a peaceful life.

this cycle of rejection only continued despite jiwon’s attempts to hide you from yujin. the requests ranged from, “can you help me with calculus?” to, “there was a new tteokbokki store that opened near school, wanna go together?”

you soon realised that yujin was determined to win this bet. with the countless amount of sweet post-it notes taped to chocolate milk cartons that appeared on your desk every morning… how could you not?

yujin had willpower, you acknowledged that fact. it was just a shame that you had overheard the conversation. maybe she would have actually won the bet by now.

while you were gloating about yujin’s loss, the jock was almost heartbroken with the number of futile attempts.

“she just isn’t falling for it!” yujin exclaims.

wonyoung raises an eyebrow, “i told you she isn’t that stupid. and your methods are so lame.”

“i thought they were cute,” yujin sniffles, pouting. the mere thought of her not being able to persuade a girl was devastating. this would mess up her reputation! she wasn’t the one who chased others!

“you’re not winning this bet,” gaeul states, snickering at yujin’s misfortune.

yujin, despite their claims, was still persistent in trying to get a date. it didn’t matter what she needed to do, she would do it. anything to win this bet.

she couldn’t lose her hard-built reputation as a heartbreaker. that was crazy. if she had to get down on her knees to beg…

well yujin might just consider it.

unbeknownst to the things yujin would do for a date with you, you walk with jiwon peacefully, almost reaching the front gate when your best friend halts.

“ah,” jiwon says out of the blue, “I can’t go home with you today. i need to show the new exchange students around school.” you frown but nodded anyway.

“i’ll see you tomorrow then?” you ask. jiwon sends a smile and quickly walks back to the school doors. you sigh, taking out your airpods when a tap on your shoulder spins you around.

ahn yujin again.

“hi,” she flashes a grin, “mind if i walk with you?”

“don’t you normally go that way?” you point in the opposite direction. yujin turns her head and laughs, “so you’ve been observing me?”

you think for a moment. “no, but your fanclub is waiting there for you.”

like you said, a group of girls and boys alike were standing at the other gate, eyes darting around for yujin. she tilts her head, reminiscent of your puppy back at home, and says, “i’m walking this way so i don’t get bombarded by them.”

“fair enough,” you take out your airpods again and try to drown out yujin’s attempts at conversation.

“hey!” she continuously taps you on the shoulder. you ignore her.

“don’t ignore me!” you do that.

“y/n-ssi..!”

ugh. you think. who the hell said that yujin was like a puppy? (you.) she was more like a parrot that couldn’t shut up.

“yujin-ssi,” you huff, “keep quiet.”

said girl just turns to you with a pout. eyes glistening with hope when you falter ever so slightly. with a sigh, you take out your airpods and raise an eyebrow.

“okay, i won’t ignore you anymore.”

“great! i was wondering,” yujin pauses, a hint of hesitation in her voice that you’ve never heard before, “do you wanna grab lunch together? wonyoung heard from jiwon that you liked the cafe nearby, i’ll pay.”

your voice wavers, “uh, sure.” no one could blame you; your favourite cafe paired with a free meal? anyone would have accepted (regardless of the puppy-like girl who shrieked in excitement).

“great!” yujin discreetly grabs your wrist, pulling you to walk faster. slightly taken aback, you willingly let yourself be pulled away.

on the way there, the typically chirpy yujin doesn’t say a word and instead keeps quiet. it’s only until you both find a seat in the cafe that she speaks up.

“y/n-ssi, do you hate me or something?” you watch as the jock twirls the fork in her hand, eyes gleaming with curiosity. perhaps she’s never experienced being rejected before.

“you’re just too much for me.”

“oh? what do you mean by that?”

you choose your next words wisely, “it’s a bit strange to have someone popular talk to someone so mediocre.”

yujin’s head snaps up, fury in her eyes. you think she’s about to storm out, offended by your words. yet, she grasps your hands into hers, passionately saying, “how could you be mediocre?! y/n-ssi, you’re like the most intelligent person in our grade, and you’re super nice and helpful too!”

you feel relieved. her outburst was just defending you. giggles escape your lips as you reply back, “nice and helpful? after rejecting you so often?”

the sight of yujin’s cheeks being flushed makes you marvel. it’s a rare sight to see the jock so flustered. she’s usually so composed and witty.

“ah… i was a bit insistent and annoying, i understand why y/n-ssi avoided me…” yujin mumbles shyly, letting your hands drop onto the table. your hands feel cold without yujin’s warmth but you quickly diminish that thought.

stop it, yujin is just playing with you.

you straighten up naturally, catching yourself before replying with anything flirty. you had to remember that yujin’s primary reason for talking to you was because of the bet.

unfortunately for you, yujin notices your change in demeanour.

“are you okay?”

“yeah,” you eye her carefully, “i’m just hungry.”

yujin sends you a toothy grin and starts another conversation. you end up talking about her puppy, azzo, her ice hockey training and your art portfolio before the food arrives. you realise even though ahn yujin was a stereotypical jock, she was probably smarter than most.

“y/n-ssi, can i call you unnie?”

you raise your eyebrow, “how do you know my birthday?”

yujin looks startled. frazzled, she quickly replies, “i just asked wonyoung… she’s close friends with jiwon…!”

“doing background checks on me?” you say, stuffing your mouth with the red velvet cake in front of you.

“no… maybe, yes? i was just curious!”

“you just want to talk informally, don’t you, yujin?”

the jock bows her head down, you hate how you find it cute.

“yeah… you caught me.”

you smile, “okay, you can call me unnie.”

it’s like yujin just won the lottery with the way she’s grinning. you would tease her even more but it’s better not to get attached to her.

after this month, she wouldn’t even bat an eye at you.

soon, you finish up your cake and yujin does too. when paying, you sense yujin’s impatience and chalk it off to being her realising that you wouldn’t wield so easily. shrugging it off, you try your best to make a quick exit before yujin drags you to somewhere else again.

after paying, you swiftly leave the cafe, only to be caught in yujin’s grasp again.

“unnie, can we exchange contact info?” her eyes are shining now. you hesitantly nod and hand her your phone.

yujin 🐶 [4.38pm]:

yn unnie! ^^

“there! i sent you a message,” yujin exclaims, “where’s your house? i’ll walk you home!”

“huh?! no… yujin, you should go home, i can walk by myself…”

the puppy-like girl only pouts. you’re mostly helpless to her, unable to really say no to a face like hers.

“unnie, i need to know if you reached home safely! bad guys would obviously kidnap a girl as pretty as you!” yujin scoffs. you try to hide your blush as you finally nod again.

yujin brightens up and takes your hand into hers, “let’s go!”

you feel bad for the younger girl; she was usually the one who played with other people’s feelings and now, she didn’t even realise that she’s the one getting played with. you wonder if yujin has ever seen the aftermath of her entertainment. would she be shocked that she caused someone so much pain? or would she just laugh?

the closer you got to your doorstep, the more you didn’t want to leave yujin. fuck, you think, that’s a bad sign.

how did yujin manage to attract you in only a day?

what the hell type of sorcery was she using?

“thank you for walking me home,” you bow, “send me a text when you get home too.” yujin nods but she stares at you expectantly. maybe she wanted you to invite her into your house?

that wasn’t going to happen though.

“uhm,” you mumble unintelligently. not even giving it a second thought, you quickly plant a kiss on yujin’s cheek and run into your house, slamming the door behind you.

what the fuck! you and yujin both think, your hand covering your mouth, shocked that you even did that. meanwhile, yujin traces the outline of your lips on her cheek with her fingertips, her face resembling a tomato the longer she stands outside your door.

yujin 🐶 [5.02pm]:

unnie…? ㅠㅠ

yn unnie 🤍 [5.03pm]:

IM SINSORYR

I DID IT WITHOUT THINKJNG

yujin 🐶 [5.03pm]:

ure too mean…

kissing me then slamming the door

yn unnie 🤍 [5.03pm]:

im sorry yuj

yujin 🐶 [5.04pm]:

ur lips r so soft tho?

do u use the laniege lip mask? ㅋㅋ

yn unnie 🤍 [5.04pm]:

what are u saying…

go home…

yujin 🐶 [5.04pm]:

yes ma’am!

(￣^￣)ゞ

ah fuck, you flop onto the couch, cheeks aflame, ahn yujin, i think you’re winning that bet.

it’s an early morning, gaeul hums happily, bathing in the sunlight. sometimes she’s glad that she has the window seat, when the sun rises and sets, she gets to watch it all. other times she’s not so grateful. like when it rains heavily and the raindrops splash at her.

life is great—

“yah, kim gaeul.”

the girl opens her eyes, facing an irritating sight; an ashamed ahn yujin. she only looked like that when her suitors yell at her, or when her mother nags her for her grades.

having known yujin for years, it was probably the former.

“which girl was it now?” gaeul huffs.

“y/n unnie.”

gaeul almost falls off her chair, did yujin win the bet? already worrying about her pocket money for the year, gaeul ignores everything yujin says, not until she hears, “i want to call the bet off.”

“what?!” she shrieks, “she didn’t agree to a date?”

yujin shakes her head, deflated but not for the reasons you’d imagine.

“i didn’t ask her on one,” she explains, “because… it didn’t feel right to do something so reckless.”

gaeul widens her eyes, naturally gesturing for yujin to continue. how could something like asking a girl on a date scare yujin? it was second nature to her at this point!

“asking y/n unnie on a date…” yujin’s gaze feels dreamy now and gaeul thinks she’s staring at a different person, “ah… it feels wrong to do it now..?”

“why? you wanted to win the bet though?”

yujin’s gaze hardens, “the bet isn’t as important as her.”

“y-yujin?! you’re saying that…”

“gaeul unnie, i like y/n.”

there’s no need to further explain. ahn yujin, the typical high school jock, falling for a girl that she only talked to for her own entertainment. how did she even manage to fall for you? yujin doesn’t know it herself. maybe it was after that day at the cafe, when you actually showed interest in her life. maybe it was the many online conversations you had with her, talking about mundane things. maybe it was the first day you locked eyes, yujin subconsciously always kept an eye on you afterwards.

or maybe it was all of that combined.

you tap your feet nervously on the bench. after you had kissed yujin’s cheek, she always brought it up, genuinely asking why your lips were so soft or even boldly declaring that she wanted another. maybe because it was rare for you to be so affectionate. even with jiwon and rei, skinship wasn’t so common. honestly, you weren’t sure what you were even doing with yujin. after many midnight conversations, you would consider you two friends. or perhaps even close friends.

yujin had forced you to wait for her to finish practice so she could walk you home. it was almost a routine at that point. there was some speculation of you two dating and you could imagine how happy that made yujin feel. yet mysteriously, yujin hadn’t made any super flirtatious advancements on you. the month was ending soon and the bet would end in her loss. so why wasn’t she doing anything? (not that you wanted her to do anything).

“y/n,” you turn your head. why on earth was kim gaeul and jang wonyoung staring at you from behind?

“yes…?”

the two girls glance at each other and rush up to you. you were currently standing outside yujin’s ice rink, watching her play hockey with her teammates. sometimes while playing a game, she would score and send you a wink. even through the helmet, you could see her mouth, ‘this is for you!’ it was embarrassing and cheesy but you still ended up flustered, covering your red face with your hair.

“we have something we need to tell you,” wonyoung starts off.

gaeul nods earnestly, “we’re very sorry but…”

you realise where this is going.

“ah, is this about the bet you guys and yujin made about me?”

wonyoung and gaeul both have their mouths agape, eyebrows furrowed. you almost laugh at their reaction.

“h-how did you know?!”

“i overheard you guys that day, i was going to get my phone but then i heard my name. sorry for eavesdropping.”

“no! we should be sorry for making that bet! but, if you already knew about it, why are you still hanging out with yujin?” wonyoung asks.

you chuckle, “i just wanted to see what she was planning to do. it was plain curiosity.”

“ah! but yujin likes you!” gaeul blurts out.

huh…?

“what?!”

“yeah! she told me a few days ago, that’s why she called the bet off,” the girl says. wonyoung groans, muttering about how gaeul shouldn’t have revealed that.

you absentmindedly say, “i like her too…”

the subject of your conversation immediately butts in, “you like who?”

you instantly clamp your mouth shut, heartbeat in your ears as you turn to face yujin. luckily you weren’t so out of it yet, if you were, you wouldn’t be able to control blurting out how handsome yujin looked in her gear. even brushing the ice off her jersey looked attractive to you.

“gaeul unnie, isn’t it time for us to leave?” wonyoung briskly drags gaeul out of the ice rink, leaving just you and yujin inside.

“aren’t you going to change?” you ask, facing a different direction from the jock before she manages to fluster you.

“i saw my two idiot friends talking to you, so i came here first,” she says, plopping down on the bench too.

“what were you guys even talking about?”

“oh… we were, uhm,” you stare at your lap, on top, your fingers playing with each other.

yujin senses you hesitate and places a hand on top of yours, holding it tightly.

“talking about… the bet you made about me,” you gulp, anticipating a huge, overblown reaction. you close your eyes but you don’t hear anything from yujin.

the silence begins to become worrying and you open your eyes, only to see yujin barely breathing, her eyes blown open and a pale face.

“unnie, i’m so sorr—”

“i’m not mad!” you quickly say, “i sort of had a crush on you on the first day of school, so having you interested in me, regardless of the bet, i mean, it made me feel good.”

“you had a crush on me?” yujin questions.

“yeah? like a hallway crush.”

“you’re seriously not mad about the bet?”

you shrug, “i was at first. but then your friends told me something.”

the girl’s body becomes stiff, more stiff than when you told her about your knowledge of the bet.

“they told me you like me, that’s what we were talking about before you came over,” you turn to her, “yujin-ah, is it true?”

yujin nods shyly.

“they’re so annoying… i wanted to have this cool confession but, ugh, unnie, i really wasn’t expecting myself to like you. is it crazy to say i’m happy that i made that bet? because it let me become closer to you?”

“yujin, before i accept your confession…” her eyes light up again, “can you tell me why you treated all those girls like that?”

“you mean…”

“you played with their hearts, how can i be sure that you won’t play with mine?” you ask.

yujin sighs, “honestly, i don’t know either but unnie, i need you to trust me that i like you a lot. i like you so much that i don’t know how to live through a day without thinking about you. everytime i experience something, i want to share it with you. please let me show my love for you.”

love… you smile, gently removing yujin’s helmet.

“you’re already thinking about love?”

yujin’s hair is unkempt, her bangs are swept messily, blocking her eyes slightly. yet, you can still see the whole galaxy in her eyes.

reaching out for her jaw, you pull her closer.

“ahn yujin, if you ever play with me, you’re dead.”

your lips are almost touching and you can feel her breath. almost panting already, yujin breathes out.

“there’s no point living if you’re not by my side.”

[jogetsobsessed]

Always an Angel - Paul Lahote

Ok, I've been obsessed with the lyric “Always an angel, never a god for a few days now. I don't know why all of a sudden but it's been all I can think about. I know there are a bunch of literal interpretations but I look at it as a version of “always the bridesmaid, never the bride”, always the side character, never the main character. So I hope this comes across how I want it to lol. 

Also, the timeline is kinda messed up in this, just live in ignorant bliss and ignore it pls, and thank you!

---------

Always the option, never the priority. 

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. 

Always the lover, never the loved. 

Always the fighter, never the fought for. 

Always an angel, never a god. 

------------

You were used to being sidelined, looked right through. 

No matter what you were doing, or who you were with, you were never the main focus. 

Growing up boys never spared you a glance, your best friends being the main targets for their glances and flirty remarks. You were never the one asked to dance, always the one asked to hold a friend's purse or bag. If the car was full on the way to get ice cream, you were always the one that was going to be left out. You never learned inside jokes and standing alone at parties, you didn't even know why you went, it's not like anyone would notice if you left anyway. 

At night when you would break and confide in the one person you knew truly loved you she would always question why you remained friends with the people that caused you so much pain. And through your blubbering, you would look at her like she was crazy. Explain to your mother that it must have been too long since she was a teenager. Because that's not how it works. Living in a small town the pool of potential friends is small, and having friends that treat you horribly is better than having no friends at all. 

You would apologize to her years later, after maturing, and realizing that the remarks you directed towards her were uncalled for. The anger you threw her way was misguided and unfair. She didn't deserve the way that you treated her. 

When Bella Swan moved to town you thought everything was going to change. She was from a big city, you didn't know much about Phoenix but you knew they probably didn't harbor the same small-town mindset that Forks did. 

She had no clue who you were. She didn't know the unspoken reputation that hung above your head like a storm cloud. 

And at first, you were right. 

The two of you became friends quickly, Bella taking a liking to your quiet demeanor, such a drastic change from Jessica and her goons. 

Your friendship appeared surface-level, to everyone but the two of you. In school, you both kept to yourselves and didn't talk much, even to each other. You would drag her along with you when you gathered the strength to hang out with your old friends. But you didn't do that often, seeing as they saw her as a shiny new toy and didn't treat her as a second-class citizen. 

But after school the two of you would talk, your friendship would come alive in the comfort of your own homes, and you two would look like actual teenage girls and not two seventeen-year-olds who should be on the highest dose of Lexapro. 

She was the first person that you saw as a true friend, that was until she committed, in your opinion, a cardinal sin. 

Bella had gone off the deep end and you hadn't seen her in days. But that was normal, she would spiral, skip school, and then show up as if nothing happened. So you weren't concerned, sent her a few texts checking up on her and getting one-word responses back. Then the following Monday came around. You were waiting by your truck, lazily twirling your hair, eyes glazed over as you dissociated waiting for the bell to ring. 

But amid your dissociation, you were pulled back to reality when a shiny black Volvo came to a screeching halt a row over. You knew who drove the expensive car so you tried to be as nonchalant as possible as you peered over your shoulder to get a good look at the owner. 

You wished you hadn't. 

Because getting out of the passenger seat was the person that you considered your best friend. Your best friend was sitting in the passenger seat of the car of the guy you had a crush on since he arrived at Forks High School. 

She knew about your long-standing crush on Edward, she was the only person other than your mother who you had told. It came tumbling off your tongue one late night about a month after she had arrived in town. And you had sworn her to secrecy, begging her to never tell another soul. 

But now it seemed to not matter, she had broken your trust and your heart. 

------------------

The next year drug on. With Bella being completely infatuated with Edward you were left to crawl back to your old friends. They accepted you with barely open arms, reluctantly saving you a seat at the lunch table, sometimes sending you the location for Friday night activities. 

When the Cullen clan abruptly left Forks Bella did to you exactly what you had done to your friends months earlier. Part of you didn't know why, but you let her back in, although this time keeping her at an arm's length away, never fully trusting her, 

Eventually, however, Edward came back. First making his appearance walking hand in hand with Bella in the dreadful hallways of Forks High School after she had disappeared yet again for a few days with not even a courtesy text. 

This time seeing them together didn't feel like a hot knife was piercing your skin. How could it, you no longer felt the same that you had for Edward. Because he had proven himself to be just like everyone else. He made you feel invisible. 

------------

The heat of late spring had arrived and you took in all the warmth that you could as you walked down the small rocky path to the mailbox. Graduation had come and gone and you found yourself in isolation. The people you had forced yourself to be friends with in high school no longer mattered. You didn't have to play the uncertain game of high school politics anymore. Starting university was on the horizon and while you dreaded leaving the comfort of home you were excited, this was going to be your chance to reinvent yourself. You were no longer going to be the person no one cared to look towards. 

Pulling out the various envelopes you felt your heart stop beating when the light lilac envelope was pulled to the front. You knew what it was, you didn't even have to open it. But you did, ripping it open, praying that you hadn't torn apart the coveted invitation. Sure enough in bold letters, you read “Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan request your presence…”. 

The phone call with Bella that night was awkward. You haven't talked much since graduation but she assured you that she wanted you to be at the wedding. You had wanted to push and ask her why she was rushing to get married. I mean you along with everyone else knew that they had only known each other for a year and hadn't been dating for the entirety of said year. But she sounded happy, the happiest she had ever seemed. So you didn't say anything, instead prying for details about the impending nuptials. 

-------------

Thousands of flowers cascaded down creating a custom perfume in the air. Your eyes darted between the bunches of wisteria and sweet peas and you were in awe. The wedding had snuck up on you. So much had happened over the summer leaving you feeling unprepared to start school in the fall. Leaving you to make one of the hardest choices that you had ever made, deferring your acceptance into your top school to the following fall quarter. 

So when you got a reminder on your phone that read “Bella and Edward wedding tmr” you were at a loss for words. I mean you had everything you physically needed, a dress, a present, the right pair of shoes. But you had forgotten one important thing, a date. 

It wasn't going to be the first time you had shown up to an event without one, but it was probably going to feel the most embarrassing. 

So here you were, standing next to your group of “friends'' from high school as they gossiped about the possibility of Bella being pregnant. “What do you think?”Erik asked you, giving your arm a soft nudge with his. “I don't know guys '. Jessica of course had a counter, pointing out that out of the group you were the closest with her. Luckily before you had to come up with an excuse of why you didn't know for certain the music began, signaling that it was time for everyone to turn their attention to the altar. 

A few tears managed to slip down your cheeks as you watched your sometimes best friend say “I do”. In that moment all the turbulent times the two of you experienced didn't matter. You were just happy to be in the presence of two people who were madly in love and confessing it to each other, permanently sealing their love with a dramatic kiss. 

The reception area was decorated equally as beautiful. You were grateful that Bella, or more likely Alice had set you close to the dance floor. That way you could watch people without feeling like a total loser, hanging out in the corner by yourself. At least this way you could still enjoy the happiness of the other guests without feeling the gross amount of body heat from the dancing bodies. 

The ice was melting quickly in your lemonade, the night had not been rewarded with a cool late summer breeze so you were appreciative of the cool drink. The night had seemingly been going according to plan. Your ‘friends’ had migrated to another table across the dance floor with the excuse of wanting to talk to some of the other guests, but they had not returned in almost two hours so you were holding your breath. 

Mentally you were planning your escape plan, glancing at your watch. Waiting for an acceptable time to leave, not too early into the night but not too late that you were leaving only minutes before the bride and groom's big exit. As you granted yourself yet another glance at the heirloom watch you wore and looked back up a gasp unwillingly left your lips. 

The mystery man, who looked almost familiar, chuckled at your surprised look. Confidently he took the empty seat next to yours, turning his body to give you his full attention. “May I help you”, you didn't recognize your own words, your tone was a bit rude and you didn't even give him a second to introduce himself after she sat. 

“I’m Paul Lahote”. 

Once he gave his name to you your eyes moved up to meet him and the electric shock that you felt in your veins almost felt real. There was no doubt blush forming on every inch of your face and you were praying that the low light of the Edison bulbs did a good job at protecting some of your dignity. You gave him your name, barely squeaking out your last name. 

Things like this didn't happen to you. A man that looked like him didn't talk to you. A part of you wondered if Jessica or someone like her had already turned him down, because let's face it, you were always the option but never the priority. 

“I think you should share a dance with me, no pretty girl like you should be sitting alone at a wedding”. The flare in your cheeks was visible now, you were sure of it. No matter how low the light was you could have sworn a red glow was emitting from your body, like an accusing halo. 

“Paul…you don't have to dance with me, I was just getting ready to leave”. Gathering your belongings as you begin to stand up. “No!”. He said, eyebrows raising to the top of his forehead once he realized how loud he exclaimed. Sheepishly he looked around offering small smiles as an apology to a few of the guests who looked at him like he had three heads. 

“Please, I noticed you when I walked in before the ceremony and I haven't been able to shake you from my eyeline all night. I don’t think I can take no for an answer”. 

The fact that your heart was still caged behind your chest was an act of god. Because at this point it should have flown away due to how hard it was beating. You were at a loss for words. The thought that someone was putting you first, taking interest in you was unbearable. And you were crumbling at his gaze. 

His outstretched hand found yours that you slowly had begun to uncurl from against your body. Swiftly he whisked you out onto the dance floor, pulling your body flush to his. 

Clumsily your feat matched his falling into routine with his steps, your body swaying in unison to the light melody. He hummed along softly to the quiet music as he kept a firm grip on you, almost like he was afraid to let you go. 

The song ended and awkwardly you looked around not knowing what to do. Paul however looked happy as can be, letting go of your hand but keeping the one on your lower back in place. He led you back to the table where you had spent most of the night, pulling out your chair before you could even react. You thanked him as you sunk into the back of the chair trying to ground yourself. 

“Man, I feel like the luckiest guy here at this whole damn wedding I got to dance with the prettiest guest of them all”. He said matter-of-factly triumphantly, taking a sip out of the glass he abandoned when he first approached your table. You scoffed, there was no way he was being for real, the alcohol had to have been getting to him now if he was saying such an untrue statement. 

“I think you've had enough”. Your voice was shy and your eyes barely peeked through your almost closed eyelids. The embarrassment you hadn't felt earlier had returned and you were suddenly hyper-conscious of everything happening around you. 

“Doll this stuff doesn't make me feel anything, you, however, are making me feel alive for the first time”. His drink was abandoned yet again as he scooted his chair closer, invading your bubble, and causing you to squirm under his gaze yet again. 

“Paul, I'm flattered but again I think your choices are impaired. There's no way you feel anything like that for me”. 

Paul was out of his chair before you could continue your babbling, cutting you off by capturing your lips in his. 

After he pulled back for air his forehead rested against yours, the two of you matching your breathing. You were yet again at a loss for words, kissing the hottest boy at your best friend's wedding was not on this year's bingo card. But as per usual it seems Paul had the perfect thing to say, “My angel forgive me if this is forward, but l you need to let me love you, I have a feeling that you're gonna be stuck with me for a long time”.

[thelovelyruin]

𝖘𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 : yandere choso x fem reader

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : choso fell in love with you freshman year and it was finally time to make you his.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 : smut, porn with plot, vaginal sex, praise, love, manipulation, murder (not you!)

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 7.1K

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from saccharine by jazmin bean.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello lovelies, thank you so much for reading! this was a request i’ve been working on for a while lol; i hope you enjoy it; if so, follow me for more. au revoir!

18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT

Everything you do, I'm obsessed with you.

“Exciting, isn’t it?”

“Huh? I mean, yeah it’s cool.”

“Are you rushing too? I really wanna go Kappa!”

“That’s, uh, aren’t they kinda…”

“What, cunts? Yeah, I’d fit in nicely.”

When Choso first met you during rush week a couple years ago, you were an aspiring freshman looking for a sorority to pledge to, and he was a normal guy. Sorta. You’d spoken to him once and he became absolutely in love with you. Not like he hadn’t been with other girls in the past, a few relationships here or there. But you were different. Not like any other girl he’d seen. You hadn’t shared too much with him that day, but he was determined to figure out, well, everything about you.

I don't mean to scare, but you're just so cute.

It started with your name, which he’d simply just asked someone in your class. But then, Choso needed to know more, when was your birthday, were your zodiac signs compatible? He’d gotten that information from stealing your campus ID out of your purse while you two were in class together. Choso was paying really good attention to other things too though. He’d paid attention to your screen while he sat behind you, online shopping when you were supposed to be paying attention to the lecture. That’s how he found out what size you were and the brands you liked, but other things got a little trickier. He noticed the way you did your makeup, it was always so pretty, but it’s not like he knew what any of it was, so he’d slowly started stealing things out of your makeup bag. It was harder to get your perfume, though, until you reapplied it on the campus lawn one day. Pink sugar, huh? Sweet just like you. Choso wanted to be even better, he’d send you flowers with no receipt of who sent them, an array until he found your favorites. He’d pay for your food when you went out to eat, then leave to remain anonymous. He just loved seeing that smile on your face whenever he surprised you with something, always grateful, looking around to see if you could catch your secret admirer, but blushing when you realized you wouldn’t. God, you were perfect.

Lucky for you, you had actually gotten into Kappa. You walked around on this high horse though, one of those kiss-my-ass kind of attitudes. Not like anyone was gonna check you for it, well, ‘cause you were hot. Always well dressed, always groomed, always punctual. There was nothing anyone could really say about you other than you being a bitch, at least never to your face. Little did you know, Choso was your bitch. If you ever even glanced at him, he’d almost faint, and as the sophomore and junior years came and you’d gotten classes with him, he’d go back to his dorm and fuck his fist at the thought of you every day. But now, it was Senior year, and he was running out of time to make you his.

Every move you make, you're fucking sweeter than a cake.

Choso originally planned to just ask you directly, but he had to make sure it was gonna be perfect. He couldn’t leave room for error in the possibility that you weren’t interested at all. So, he’d gotten as close as possible to you. It wasn’t stalking, it was just studying an interest. He was pretty good at photography, so he got hired as a photographer for school events, such as parties or games. He’d walk around and take pictures of everyone like usual to not raise suspicion, but whenever he could, he’d snap as many pictures as he could of you, slipping them into his pocket. When there was too much going on at the party downstairs, he’d sneak upstairs to find which room was yours, for research purposes of course.

Well, that research went directly to Choso knowing which window to take pictures outside of. You were so oblivious, often leaving your curtains wide open as you just got out of the shower, dressed in nothing but a towel. Now, Choso never got a snapshot of you naked or anything like that, but the hopes of the day he could got him pretty damn hard. He’d take pictures of you walking around campus, doing fundraisers with your sorority sisters, running for the pageants that you always won, with the exception of Miss Junior, who you exposed for cheating on her boyfriend so she’d be out of the running. So, you’d won that too. You were practically perfect, Choso felt you were made for him, there was a true possibility he could nurture and care for you, allow you to let your guard down a bit and let him someone in. He imagined himself taking you out to all your favorite restaurants, he had all of them written down along with your favorite menu items. Nights in his room cuddled up watching all of the movies you liked, you’d be so excited to see all of your favorite snacks already waiting for you. You’d wear that glitter lipgloss you loved, he’d make sure you had more than enough, considering he’d already bought two tubes for whenever he made you his. He imagined making love to you, hearing you moan for him as he pleasured you, then put you on his chest as you fell asleep, resting his eyes as he held you. You two could truly be in love. 

I'd love to wipe these other bitches out, so it's just you and me.

But, you had a fucking boyfriend. It’s not like he didn’t like seeing you with other guys. He fucking hated it. Choso thought the guy was pretty scummy, he had that douchebag personality and always looked at guys like Choso like he was a piece of shit. But that asshole was truly a piece of shit. Megumi, or something like that. Choso didn’t bother doing too much digging up on him because it wasn’t gonna matter very soon. You guys had been dating since the beginning of the school year, not very long, but that didn’t stop him from talking to other girls when you weren't around. He’d forget your dates, and make you cry. Wouldn’t post you on his socials, almost pretended he was single. Choso had half a mind to stab him to death, mostly because he didn’t like the way he treated you, but also because then he wouldn’t be in the way anymore.

Then, there were your damn sorority sisters. Those bitches were definitely in the way. They took up too much of your time, making you busy every day with planning and meetings, to do what? Party and maybe, fundraise? He’d see them sometimes talking shit about you, saying you were weird or a bitch, or something else that wasn’t true about you. Choso would never say those things about you or treat you like that. You deserved someone who actually loved you and cared about you, none of these other distractions. He would give you the world, but that meant getting rid of the world you had first.

Oh, oh, this shit is scaring me…

Now, when Choso originally thought of doing this, he thought it was a little nuts. It was a little extreme, sure, but it was just an obstacle in the way to get to you. Sometimes, we do bad things for the people we love. It doesn't mean it's right, it means love is more important. 

Choso originally thought of actually stabbing Megumi like he wanted to. That fell quickly when he really considered the situation. Megumi was on the lankier side which meant it would be more tactical to get a hit in, plus he’d need to find a time he’d be alone in a discreet location to hurt him with no one noticing. Not that he’d really care if someone saw, it would just mean he wouldn’t be able to live the rest of his life with you; that was not an option. Shooting would be just as difficult, shell casings and the sound of gunfire could get him in deep. Could steal the brakes from his car, but then there was the possibility you were in it when it crashed, and for that, he’d never forgive himself. He’d need something that anyone could have done, an accident perhaps, something that wouldn’t kill Megumi, just get him out the fucking way. Then he got a little idea.

Don't wanna stick my fingers in this, or I'll start to bleed…

“Hey, Megumi!”

“Do I know you?”

“Well, we literally live on the same floor, but um, no. Anyways, wanted to talk to you about something…”

“Get on with it.”

“It’s her birthday today, your girlfriend that is.”

“Oh yeah. Well, why the fuck do you care?”

“We’re kinda close, wanted to get her something, but I’ll be too busy with classes to give it to her. Do you mind giving it to her for me?”

“You got my girlfriend a gift, bitch? What the hell’s in this box?”

“Well, that’s kind of a surprise for her…”

“Get the fuck out of my face before I beat your ass. Leave my girl alone, you fuckin’ weirdo.”

Megumi had slammed the door on him, just like that. Usually, Choso would’ve been really torn by his insult. He was pretty pissed Megumi forgot your birthday too, but how could he be pissed, truly? Not when a sweet resolution to Megumi’s shitty ways was on the horizon.

“Megumi’s like totally dead!”

“Omg, what do you mean he’s dead?”

“Well, he went to the hospital ‘cause he came down with like a fever or something? Todo said he couldn’t even talk when he found Megumi in the hallway and his eyes were all watery. The doctors said he died of, shit, what’s it called again? Whatever, like he couldn’t breathe! I don’t know what the fuck happened, but damn, really sucks, ya know?”

“Babe, I’m so sorry. To be fair, he was a dick.”

“Yeah, you’re right. He didn’t have a big one either TBH.”

Well, shit. Choso didn’t mean to kill him, not really. He knew Megumi was a fuckin’ asshole, though. Paired with someone crushin’ on his girlfriend and his ego, Choso knew Megumi was gonna open that box. And what was in it? Initially, Ricin covered the inside of the box, which when inhaled, caused damage to the respiratory system, which Megumi could technically recover from. Choso had extracted the Ricin from some castor beans. The same castor beans that were crushed inside of the cupcake sitting in the box. All 10 of them. Originally, Megumi would’ve lived, had he just thrown it away and not have been nosy, and if he did end up giving it to you, Choso would be there to intervene and he’d deal with that explanation later. But Megumi chose to be a nosy bastard, open it, AND EAT THE CUPCAKE! It was comical, really, considering Ricin can’t be found in an autopsy, so Choso got away with it. It’s okay. It had to be done. That greedy asshole got what was coming to him, and with him out of the way, Choso was cleared to enact Phase 2.

It's sweet like saccharine, what I’d do to have you sitting here next to me.

A couple of days after Megumi died, you pretty much got over it, walking about as if nothing happened. To be fair, he was cheating on you all the time, lied to you, and overall treated you like shit, so it wasn’t that hard. What Choso didn’t expect was for you to get kicked out of your sorority house.

“Listen, babe. Your dead boyfriend is really throwing off the vibe here. Plus, it’s bringing a lot of bad looks to the rest of us because it seems like you honestly don’t give a fuck that he died, and truthfully, neither do we, but damn bitch, try acting like it!”

“Please, Chapter President, I can act like I care, I just-”

“Sorry girlie. You’re still a sister, don’t worry. You do have to leave the house though.”

Choso felt a little bad. A little. They really were bitches, but this was perfect. He’d just saved himself from starting a gas leak at the Kappa house when you weren’t home. He didn’t like that your feelings were hurt though, and he beat himself up about it. Choso himself wasn’t really a good guy, killing your boyfriend on your birthday? Almost killing your sorority sisters before they pretty much kicked you to the curb? He was doing the exact opposite of being a good boyfriend. He’d be on his toes from now on, can’t risk ruining his chances with you. However, it was all in good light. You were becoming more and more ready to fall into his arms.

Apparently, you pretty much kept to yourself and stayed in your room. Your classwork was slacking a bit, and you couldn’t live at the house, but that didn’t stop you from still trying to be involved, participating in some campus events, and fundraising with your sisters despite your exile. You were a normal girl, humbled for sure, but Choso didn’t like that very much. He never intended to break you down like this, while you were still sweet in his eyes, he knew you loved the life you had before. He can’t unkill Megumi, which wouldn’t make sense anyway because Choso was your boyfriend now, but he’d give you a life even better than the first. One where you and he were together.

Like cherry pie, will you be mine?

Now, Choso was a real sweetheart, getting you so many gifts for when you came along, preparing how he’d approach you, compliment you, fuck you. But he was getting a little impatient. At this point, it was already the tail end of courses before winter break so he didn’t have much time to see you every day, even though he’d make that happen regardless. Plus, all of the shit that had happened to you would wear off in a couple of days, so he needed to act now. Choso knew he couldn’t make you fall in love with him overnight, and it would be too hasty to try to take it slow with you now. So, he had no choice. He was gonna kidnap you.

Now, “kidnapping” is a rather strong way to put it. In reality, Choso was gonna come to see you and talk a bit, but if that didn’t work, he’d hold you at knifepoint and make you come back to his dorm with him to enjoy all of the things he’d set up for you! He would never hurt you intentionally, so it’s not like he was gonna use it, but he had to make you think he would. He wished kidnapping you was legal, why wouldn't he want to be able to love you and take care of you all the time? It’s okay, you’d learn to love him back. After all, Choso wasn’t your ‘maybe’. Choso was your ‘one’.

Sweet to the core, I want some more.

Choso decided he’d make his move on you the night of the last Kappa party of the season, too many people for anyone to notice him running off with you, plus he knows you’d look so pretty in your party dress, hair all done up, heels making those legs of yours look so pretty. And you did! Except, you were crying. When Choso got to the party and spotted you, you were sniffling as you walked out the back door of the house. Now, he had to be strategic about this, so he exited out the front in time to catch you walking from the back. When he’d gotten outside, he saw you walking down the sidewalk, but it wasn’t very well, your heel had broken and you were having to walk barefoot. He felt terrible seeing you like that. You looked so sad, so scared, just broken. Choso had to make things right.

“Hey, you okay?”

I love you.

I can hear your words breaking down my core…

You looked up at him with those beautiful doe eyes of yours, bloodshot and watery from crying, but still, you looked stunning.

“Oh, hey Choso. Honestly? No, I’m like not okay at all.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, my ex died and everyone’s making a super big deal about it. Like, people kept coming up to me asking questions and stuff like I was there when he died or something.”

“Oh, um-”

“Sorry, I know I sound like a twat right now, but he cheated on me like all the time! It’s honestly a long shot to say we were even together, not be cocky or anything, but I think he dated me to make himself look better. Plus, he got me in hot water with my sisters, like he’s haunting me after death or whatever.”

“Sounds like he wasn’t really a good guy…”

“Yeah, pretty much. Anyway, now I have to walk back to my stupid dorm with no shoes because I fell over like a klutz and just embarrassed myself to the nines. I don’t even wanna go back there, just makes me sad, ya know? I came out to this stupid party to get my mind off things and it’s like things are just bleh. It doesn’t even feel like anyone likes me anymore. I wish someone just loved me for me, ya know?”

I think about you every day at least a hundred times or more.

Choso walked up and hugged you, bringing you into his embrace. It was a bold move for sure, especially with the knife sheathed on his waist, but he just hated seeing you cry like that. Soon, you’ll feel how nice it is to have someone care about you so much. To have someone who wants to revolve their entire life around you.

“It’s okay. Know you don’t know me very well, but I’m here for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t wanna be too forward or anything, but you can come back to my dorm for a few, that is, if you don’t wanna go back to yours.”

“That’s so sweet, thanks!”

Fuck, this was perfect! He didn’t even have to threaten to kill you! Choso offered to pick you up, which you happily agreed to, holding your heels in your hand as he carried you back to his dorm. On the way, you talked about a bunch of stuff you liked, mostly things he already knew about you, but there were a couple of new things that enticed him. You’d stopped crying, that sweet smile back on your face as you found comfort in Choso’s arms. He’d gotten back to his dorm fairly fast, not wanting to waste much time to get things rolling. He figured he’d start with telling you about his love for you, really seeing if you-

“OMG, YOU HAVE THIS???”

You pointed at the movie poster on his wall, one of your favorite movie. He’d studied it a lot, trying to figure out why you liked it so much. He’d watched it over ten times by now, buying the poster as a touch when you finally came, which worked!

“Yeah, it’s a pretty good-”

“Pretty good? It’s like the best movie ever!”

“We can, uh, watch it if you want.”

“Yes, I’d love that!”

Choso was so lucky. Here you were, sitting with him on his bed as you watched the movie. You’d stop every few minutes and point out something about it you knew a fun fact about or laugh at the parts you’d seen so many times. You were so damn cute. You’d pretty much forgotten all of the stuff going on, able to just relax with him for once. Don’t you see how nice this is? How special things can be? 

“Oh wow, it’s getting late. Shit, I still have to walk back.”

Just like that, the movie was over. You looked tired, not just physically but mentally too. You couldn’t leave though, that’s not how this was gonna go.

“Are you sure you’re good to walk?”

“Whatcha mean?”

“I mean, your heels are broken and it’s too dark outside to be out there by yourself. Something could happen to you.”

Fuck, Choso was a little too bold with that last part. He was probably coming on too strong, he’d need to fix-

“You’re worried about little ‘ol me?”

“Something like that…”

YES. He was so fucking worried that sweat was about to drip from his face, red with anxiousness that the love of his life was about to leave him behind.

“Well, you could always walk with me. Or do you just wanna spend more time with me?”

You gave him a little smirk and wink, it went straight to his dick as he tried to think of a way to respond.

“I, um… yeah, I would.”

Your answer to his statement would be the deciding factor between you staying or him picking up that knife from his jacket on the chair. Fortunately for you, you smiled and put your things back down, sitting on the bed as you looked up at him.

“Fine, but we’re gonna watch another movie. Your pick this time.”

You make me afraid, come closer, wait no, go away…

Ten minutes into this movie and he felt like he was gonna fucking explode. This time around, you’d gotten closer to him. Instead of sitting at the end of the bed, you laid beside him, not quite touching you, but he could definitely smell you, and fuck, you smelled so good. It was becoming painful to not touch you, but he couldn’t risk fucking this up. You looked so nice like this, chest moving up and down as you laid comfortably, eyes low, obvious you were getting tired. 

“Hey, Choso?”

“What’s up?”

“Thanks for, ya know, being nice to me. I’m not anyone’s favorite these days…”

You looked so sad, but Choso couldn’t be happier. You were starting to recognize the only person who really cares about you is him!

“Yeah, but you’re my favorite.”

“Really? But, you barely know me.”

Choso actually knew you very well. Probably better than you know yourself.

“You’ve just got that type of personality that’s really easy to like, is all.”

You sat up now and looked Choso in the eyes, making him blush instantly.

“Oh yeah? So, you like me?”

Choso started stuttering and sweating, flustered beyond reason as you gave him one of those smirks. At this point, he didn’t even have to tell you. His body language was more than obvious.

“I was just kid-”

“Yes, I mean-”

You both looked at each other in shock. Why the fuck would he say that? You were fucking joking. Choso was stupid to think you were serious, not like he really had any chance with a girl like you. But that’s okay. He was gonna make one. Although, he didn’t know whether to love or hate you right now, most likely both. You looked up at him optimistically, like you were waiting on his response, but also blushing a bit as he nearly popped a blood vessel in front of you. He couldn’t even speak, choked up on his words as you brought your hand on top of the one he had leaning on the bed.

“Tell me, do you?”

“I do, for a while now.”

“So, why not ever talk to me?”

“Because you’re pretty hard to talk to.”

“How’s that?”

“You’re usually, um-”

“A bitch? Yeah, I am. But these past few weeks have humbled me.”

Choso wanted to laugh a little. Of course, it was because of him and the precautions he’s put in place for you two to end up together. You didn’t need to know that part though. You looked down, that same broken look you’d been putting off all night. Everything in him told him to stop, don’t be too hasty and he could probably get back to the plan, but it hurt him to see what he’d caused. It definitely didn’t help that you were crying again, bringing your knees to your chest as you fell into the realization of how messed up you felt. Choso pulled you into his arms, laying your face into his chest as he rubbed your back. You felt so warm, so soft, he didn’t want to let you go. Ever. 

“It’s not your fault. So, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“Thanks, you’re right.”

It was hard to feel like the bad guy when you were smiling at him, finding comfort in his words. You two were dangerously close now, eye contact had him feeling like a deer in headlights, while you remained cool and collected, like usual. That’s one of the main things he loved about you, despite all of the crazy shit going on, you still try to appear fine, but that was far from the truth. He’d be a shoulder for you to cry on, someone you could depend on and pour your feelings into. Give your heart to someone who’s worthy of loving you back and spending their every breathing second devoted to keeping you happy.

Saccharine, what I’d do to have you sitting here next to me. 

You’d kissed Choso softly, leaning in slowly enough to feel his breath hitch on his lips when he realized what you were doing. It was perfect. Your lips felt even softer than he thought they would, gentle and loving as you brought yourself closer, closing the distance between you. He had to get his head together, he’d practiced this part over and over again, and all he had to do was focus and execute it. First, cup your face with his hand. You smiled into his lips when he did this, allowing him to move to the second step, and bring his hand to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss. You softened into his touch as he laid your back on the bed, opening your legs to let him on top of you. You were so sweet, moaning softly into the air as he began sucking the skin of your neck. Choso wanted to claim you, he’d finally gotten to kiss you and he needed everyone to know you were his. He sucked a little harder and felt ecstatic when you didn’t stop him, instead groaning as bruises began to flower on your skin.

“Choso…”

Shit, you moaned his name. It felt exhilarating, something he’s been waiting for for so long finally coming true. It lit a fire under his ass, coming up to kiss your lips once before he brought his lips back down to your collarbones, moving lower as his hand massaged your side. Once he’d reached the skin of your breasts, he’d stopped, looking up to you for the green light to keep going. Even though you didn’t really have a choice in spending the rest of your life with him, consent was still pretty important to him, so when you gave him a nod, he took off. Choso brought his fingers to the hem of your dress, pulling it over your head as you brought your arms up to aid him. God, you were beautiful. Your tits were on full display to him now, nothing covering you but a lacy pink thong. He was gonna start hyperventilating, your tits lifted as you breathed, nipples calling out to him like they needed saving. He brought his lips down swiftly and wrapped his tongue around one of them, immediately putting the other between his fingers to pinch as the rest of his palm massaged your breast. You started whimpering for him now, touch-starved since your boyfriend died, but Choso hoped it was also because he was doing things better than anyone you’d been with before. He alternated his mouth, groping and sucking as much as he could, relishing in the feeling of your tits in his face for the first time. As much as he could stay there all day, he knew you needed more, so he kissed his way down your stomach, lips grazing your pantyline. Choso sucked the skin of your stomach as you bucked your hips against him, turned on as he took care of you.

“Choso, please…”

He looked up into your eyes as he brought his lips off your body, fingers hooking into the fabric of your thong as he pulled them off of you. Holy fuck. You were soaking wet, lips glistening with your juices as your hips shifted slightly to invite Choso in. Without hesitation, he brought his lips down to your pussy, beginning to devour you. You tasted amazing, drinking the nectar of a fruit long awaited and it almost made him regret not planning to kidnap you sooner. You smelled so fucking good too, your pussy engulfing all of his senses as he ate you like his last meal. Your fingers found their way into his hair, moaning his name into the air with every lick of your clit. Sideways, up and down, circles around your bud, anything he could to hear you moan for him, to make your pain go away. He’d brought your legs over his shoulders and rested his hands under the arch of your back, angling your hips so he could eat you exactly how he wanted. Messy and slow, he took his time spreading your juices all over his face as you panted and pulled at the sheets. He was self-indulgent, tongue pumping in and out of you as he lived out his fantasies of eating your pussy.

“Choso…I-I…”

Shit, you were close. Choso was about to make you cum! He doubled down immediately, bringing his arms over your thighs to keep you in place as you felt your orgasm approaching. He’d picked up his pace too, tongue moving at a hungry pace as he anticipated your cum in his mouth. The hand you had in his hair gripped tighter, Choso taking it as a cue to bring his lips up and suck your clit, suction bringing your bud against his tongue. You came fast and hard, grinding your pussy against his face as you came for him, his name slipping off your lips over and over as you rode out your high.

You’re sweet to the core. 

You looked so pretty for him, chest rising and falling as you caught your breath. Choso slowly kissed his way back up your body, lips finding themselves on yours. This kiss was different from before, more intense and confident. At that point, you’d already started unbuckling his jeans, kissing him feverishly as you helped him take his clothes off. Hovering over you, he looked at you in awe. Legs on either side of his, big doe eyes looking up at him, waiting for him to fuck you.

“Holy shit…”

Your hands found his hair, gripping and tugging at it as he slipped in at a slow pace. Choso took his time, exploring the walls he longed for the feeling of. Every stroke nearly sent him over, wet and warm, you were like heaven wrapped around his dick. You felt even better than he’d imagined, much better than his fist he fucked to the thought of you. Especially with how you were moaning for him, it was driving him crazy, all he could do was praise you.

“You’re perfect…so fuckin’ perfect…”

“I know…”

God, he’s never felt like this. You were sucking him in like you were made for him, holy shit, he was losing his mind. Touching him, feeling your warmth on his shaft as he fucked you faster. You were so beautiful, lips pursed as you breathed up and down, eyes fluttering as he fucked you.

“You feel so good, baby…”

“Choso…”

His name was killing him. He’d put in so much time to make sure he fucked you exactly the way you needed him, he had to make the first time perfect. A man that could care for you. Love you. Please you. Choso finally had you, and he was going to give you the fucking world.

I need to hate you before it's too late…

“So fuckin’ pretty, baby…”

Choso gripped your legs tight as he fucked into you fast, making you scream his name out into the room. You were doing this for him! Moaning for him! And you felt so fucking good wrapped around him, more than anyone ever before. There wasn’t anyone before you and there wasn’t anyone before him. Your world would revolve around him now like his revolved around you, every waking moment of being in love would be magical. 

“Choso, I-”

“Let me have it, baby. I’ve waited so long for it…”

He didn’t care what he was saying anymore, too high on you and your pleasure that he couldn’t think straight. If you were gonna cum for him, he needed it now, like his life depended on it. Something to signify the beginning of all of the pleasure he’d give you from this point forward.

“You know how long I’ve wanted this, baby? Fuck, I’m close…”

“That’s it, baby, let go, let me make you feel good…”

“So pretty, cumming on my dick like this…”

Choso was so fuckin obsessed with you. You came down like an angel, eyes fluttering as you murmured his name softly, body melting into the bed. He halted inside you as he came, losing his mind over the way your nails dug into his arms. You two lay there panting for a bit, Choso’s arm bringing you into his chest. So beautiful like this. He’d finally made it, you in his arms, right where you belonged.

Before I crave you…so please go away. 

“So, I’m not going back to my dorm tonight, am I?”

No, of course, you weren’t.

“Do you really want-”

“I don’t want to.”

Choso was shocked to hear your words. You actually wanted to stay here with him, he didn’t even have to scare you into doing it! 

“Do you have a T-shirt or something? It’s kinda cold in here.”

“Uh, yeah, let me grab-”

“No problem, I’ll get it!”

Stop it. FUCKING STOP. You were getting too comfortable, about to open Pandora’s box with your hand on his closet door. Choso should stop you, whatever it would take. By the time he’d gotten to the knife, you’d opened the closet, pictures of you all over the walls. Choso lingered behind you now, knife behind his back as he waited for your reaction. You just had to be so fuckin nosy, you’d ruined everything. 

“Choso…are these pictures of me?”

He gripped the knife tightly in his hand as he watched you look through them. He couldn’t even speak, heartbreak and murderous intent flowing out of him. Every picture put another pin in his heart. Photos of you around campus, through your dorm window, in class, all open for you to see. You brought your hand up to one, pulling it down as you looked over it. The picture he took of you on Valentine’s Day. You’d been sitting in class that day, sad because Megumi hadn’t gotten you anything, which Choso figured he wouldn’t. That’s why he had three dozen roses delivered to you on the lawn later that day, eyes brightening as you held them and read the card: “Happy Valentine’s Day, Princess. ~ your secret admirer.” You were so damn happy that day, so perfect. Now, you had to die.

“It was you, huh? All this-”

“Yes. It was always me.”

You pulled another one down, the one of you winning Miss Sophomore. Your face had the brightest smile, holding that crown on your head as you cried tears of joy. You smirked at it, cheeks blushing a bit.

“I look really good in this one, glad someone got a shot of it. So, you liked me this much?”

You’d turned to look at him now, giving him a confused face. Probably because Choso was sweating buckets. His hand shook behind him as he looked at you nervously, analyzing everything about you, any sign that you were scared or wanted to leave.

“I’d call it more than that.”

“So, why not-”

“Because I wanted things to be perfect. I wanted to be perfect for you.”

You gave him a nervous nod and turned back to the closet, pulling down a photo of you in your room back at the Kappa house.

“How’d you do it?”

“I…huh?”

“How’d you take this without getting caught?”

You looked back at him now, a serious look on your face that told him he better fuckin’ answer. What was he gonna do? There was no point in lying to you, everything was there for you to see.

“I learned you and the other girl’s schedules to make sure everyone was asleep.”

“So, what else ya got? Pictures can’t be the only thing.”

Choso pointed to the top shelf of the closet hesitantly. You brought down the bin carefully, sitting it down on his desk as you opened the lid.

“What the fuck, Choso? I was looking everywhere for this lipgloss!”

You’d begun rummaging through the bin, picking up things in remembrance of when you lost them. A couple of hair ties, eyeliner, lipstick napkins. You acted as if there was nothing wrong with this, and it was making it really hard for Choso to read you. His hand alternated between wanting to drop the knife or use it, heart pulsing frantically as you tried on old jewelry of yours. Satisfied with your findings, you moved back to the closet, pulling down the other box on the shelf. The one with his gifts for you.

“Wait! You’re not supposed to see that yet!”

“What is it?”

“It’s something really special... just please, you’re gonna ruin everything!”

You shot him a concerned look and rolled your eyes, walking back over to the bed to take a seat. 

“Answer a couple of questions for me, ‘kay?”

“I-I…”

“Question one, when did this start?”

“...Freshman year, rush week…the first time we met…”

You looked at him surprised. That meant he’d been stalking in love with you for almost four years now and never acted on it.

Just confiscate you, my teeth are in pain…

“Question two, what’s behind your back?”

“Nothing…important…”

Choso was shaking in fear, so much so, he dropped the fucking knife. You both watched it fall to the floor behind him, your mouth agape in shock as he frantically bent over to pick it up. He couldn’t tell what was more awkward, him dropping it on the floor or him picking it up and sitting it on his desk like nothing happened.

“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT?”

“DAMAGE CONTROL.”

“FOR WHAT?”

“FOR WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!”

“YOU WERE GONNA STAB ME?”

“NO, I WAS JUST GONNA MAKE SURE YOU DIDN’T LEAVE!”

“ARE YOU FUCKIN’ CRAZY?”

“I’M NOT CRAZY, I’M IN LOVE!”

You scoffed and chuckled, stunned at his statement. Choso was bright red, on the verge of a panic attack. So many thoughts, so many mistakes, you knew almost everything now. All of the things he wanted to do for you, show you, give you, it all meant nothing now. Still, you sat there completely calm, aside from the fact the guy who just fucked your brains out was possibly about to kill you.

“Question three, this is an important one. Did you kill Megumi?”

“It was ruled a death from natural causes.”

“Yeah, tell that shit to someone else, did you kill him?”

Choso didn’t really care to hide things now, too far gone. Especially not how he got rid of that asshole you called a boyfriend.

“Yes, I did; and I don’t regret it.”

“How’d you do it?”

“I poisoned him with Ricin.”

“RICIN? HOW THE FU-”

“I put it inside of a box I told him was supposed to be for you.”

“Why?”

“Because he was a terrible boyfriend to you and you didn’t deserve to be with a guy who couldn’t even remember your birthday. Not to mention, he would’ve never died if he didn’t open what was meant for you, nosy fucker.”

“So, you were jealous? Most people would just beat the guy’s ass, you definitely knocked it out the park with that one.”

“Yes, he didn’t deserve to have you! He took you for granted when there was somebody much more fit to make you happy!”

“And that’s you?”

“Yes, just…please…don’t leave. Not before I make things perfect for you!”

You sat back on your hands, thinking a bit and bouncing your leg. Choso had said too much. Not only did he admit to killing Megumi, but now if you really did hate him, you could get him arrested too. Which meant you two would have to live apart. That was no longer an option.

“Even If I wanted to leave, I don’t think you’d actually give me the choice. Plus, it’s kinda…sweet?”

“Sweet?...”

“Yeah, never had someone like me this much, let alone kill my boyfriend to get closer to me.”

“So, you’re not mad?”

“No, not really. Well, maybe for planning to stab me. Not like I can make you untake the pics, but I’ll need some of my stuff back. I’m more impressed than anything. I’m not even gonna ask how you got the Ricin or half of this stuff.”

Choso didn’t know how to feel, or how to react. Why were you so calm about this? Why weren’t you scared? Why were you still here willingly? He couldn’t move at all, locked in place in fear as he watched you get into the bed and turn on another movie.

“You gonna come lay with me or just stand there?”

“I just…I-”

You sat straight up now, looking him dead in the eyes as his body quivered in reaction.

“What’s your deal, huh? Didn’t you kill a guy to be with me?”

“Yes, technically, I-”

“So, be with me, Choso! Unless you’re just like a murderer or whatever, that’s kinda fucked up.”

I'm gonna break you before I can say…

Choso was lost for fuckin’ words. You were laying on his chest now, holy shit, he was losing his mind. Touching him, feeling your warmth as you finally relaxed. Everything he had done to get you with him had paid off. You were so perfect, lips pursed while you breathed up and snuggled your face into him. Just his sweet, sweet girl.

“So, the whole, um, thing…”

“What, you being fucking insane?”

“I’m not insane, just very dedicated to the woman I love!”

“Well, the way I see it, all my other boyfriends couldn’t stop looking at other girls, but you? You’re perfect, you’re already obsessed with me! Just don’t kill anyone else, ‘kay?” 

“I’ll try.”

I love you.

♱ the song used in this story is saccharine by jazmin bean. 🖤

♱ masterlist.

♱ all fics playlist.

𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.

[yongility]

NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 3/?

genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.

warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.

word count: +10k?

a/n: I’m sorry this took too long to post!! 😭😭 but I been so busy with college rn, I’m going to graduate this year so I’m like having a lot of work lately, and I wasn’t satisfied with what I was writing so that was the reason it took longer than expected, sorry!

I'm a sucker for cliche stuff so as soon as this fic popped in my mind l had to write it down, english isn't my first language tho.

I'm sorry if this is too long TT, but this is kinda a slowburn? it might contain a lot of parts so wait for part 3! One of the reasons this is long af it's because I would like to show you how Jaehyun and (Y/N's life is before they get together! So pls pls don't skip anything I hope you like it!

if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!

The third day of the week arrived promptly, where (Y/N) found herself comfortably seated in one of the library chairs, with her chemistry books scattered on the table in front of her as she studied for the exams she had coming up, with Jungwoo beside her.

It was becoming her routine for the week; after last Friday's party, what she most desired was to avoid being at home, especially after having an argument with her mother when she returned from the party.

She didn't want to deal with her in a good time.

Annoyed that her mother had thought it was a great idea to take away her right to use her own car as punishment for disobeying her that night and leaving the house... staying in the library seemed the most pleasant option; with silence, able to listen to music through her AirPods, without her mother bothering her every five minutes and being able to review what she had learned in her last classes: it was something she could take advantage of. She took a sip of her vanilla latte, which had been sponsored by Jungwoo, who, in an attempt to apologize for abandoning her in that way during last Friday's party, promised to pay for each of her daily drinks for a week and a half, no matter the cost.

And even though (Y/N) could afford that or even triple, she was still happy about it. Gifted things tasted even better anyway.

Of course, she first gave Jungwoo a -no- beating after telling him everything that had happened during his absence, but still, she appreciated that her friend was okay even though she hadn't heard anything from him until Saturday night.

During these last few days, with a new routine, (Y/N) was almost always in the same places, at the same times, and if she was honest, she was surprised not to have bumped into Jung Jaehyun at any moment.

It was weird; she would normally see him somewhere around the school, either accompanied by Lucas or just sitting on one of the benches while smoking his 'n' cigarette of the day. But simply, since Friday, she hadn't heard anything from him... she hadn't even bumped into Lucas, which increased the level of strangeness, considering he was a social butterfly, he was always around. (Y/N) had been aware of her words after Jaehyun had taken her home: she could no longer continue with whatever deal they had, with all the stress of her own tasks and knowing that no matter what she did, her cousin wouldn't give up his addictions, it was best to give up.

Although it would hurt her soul to know that there was no way to help Daeho.

But thinking about it, she didn't know if she had really been sincere about each going their own way... apparently Jaehyun had taken it very seriously to not show up anywhere, and although (Y/N) knew very well that being close to him didn't bring her anything good... his presence hadn't been so bothersome in the last few days. Really, after sharing a few words and spending more time with him, she couldn't say that she disliked his existence. It was funny if you asked the (Y/N) from a month ago, there would be no way she could have imagined that, somehow, she would be related to none other than Jung Jaehyun, who, on the outside, just seemed to be one more problem.

She tried to stop thinking about it and tried to focus her gaze on the book in front of her, but after a few minutes... it was difficult for her. There was something inside her that made her feel uneasy but she couldn't think what it was.

"There’s a race in Kosmo today" her best friend's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

Kosmo was the neighborhood that was right in the middle of the city, dividing Kwangya and Neo Zone. (Y/N) knew that there were usually illegal races in that area because it was when the rich kids from Kwangya usually dared to compete against Neo Zone.

"And why should I care...?"

"Your cousin will go to bet," Jungwoo replied, interrupting her study session.

The girl opened her eyes in surprise and asked, "How do you know?"

"Daeho told Mingi, and Mingi told me," he replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. The boy fell silent for a moment and cleared his throat. "Don’t you want to go?" He asked curiously.

(Y/N) looked up from her books and observed her friend incredulously. "Why would I want to go?"

"To keep an eye on Daeho," he answered.

"I'm still mad with him, I've decided not to help him anymore. I really tried, I've been trying for the past few years, but he doesn't want help and now I understand," the girl confessed, closing her book and letting out a sigh.

"Still... don't you think it would be fun? Getting out of our comfort zone a bit... seeing what all this racing stuff is about. I've heard they're amazing," Jungwoo insisted.

"Jungwoo, my mom will kill me if she finds out I went to an illegal race," the girl continued, taking a sip of her coffee.

"She won't find out."

"Jungwoo..."

"Come on, (Y/N), we won't even be in Neo Zone, it'll be in Kwangya only. We'll go, watch the race, and leave. We won't even make contact with anyone. We'll go on our own," the boy assured her, moving closer to her. "Please, I think it would be interesting to break out of our routine, just for one night, what could go wrong?"

"Many things could go wrong, Woo," she replied.

"We won't know unless we try," he pouted, clasping his hands together. "Please."

She hated how persuasive her best friend was.

She sighed and shook her head. "Fine, but at the first sign of trouble, we're leaving without a second thought."

"I love you so much," Jungwoo replied, hugging her shoulders.

"And I really hate you."

______________________________________________

The night fell faster than she expected, and among the roar of engines and the intense music that could be heard on the outskirts of Kosmo, (Y/N) felt something cold run through her body.

She could see familiar faces here and there, some of her classmates from Kwangya were in the place, and from the opposite side, the cars and familiar faces of Neo Zone were present.

It was a strange atmosphere for her; she had always played it safe, and now she didn't even know what to think. She felt herself getting closer to Jungwoo to not lose him, the last thing she needed was for them to separate like they did at the party.

She didn't think she could survive alone.

And it's not that she was dumb to think otherwise, but her parents raised her in an environment where they made her believe that she shouldn't do things outside her daily life. (Y/N) was afraid of adventures. Her life was governed by being obedient and doing the right thing; she didn't know when the moment of rebellion she had a few days ago when she left home the night of the party had been wise.

And now finding herself in Kosmo secretly from her mother at an illegal race? She must have gone crazy.

She believed even more so that she had gone crazy when something inside her hoped to run into none other than Jung Jaehyun.

She didn't understand why the urgency of what was happening, and even less why she expected to run into Jaehyun before running into Daeho.

Maybe it was because she found it strange not to have seen him since last Friday's party.

But she knew that if there was one place Jaehyun wouldn't miss... it would be the race tonight.

"Are you looking for Daeho?" Jungwoo asked when he saw her looking around. "He's probably with Mingi."

How could she explain to her friend that the person she was looking for was none other than Jung Jaehyun?

She nodded without saying more, and they both continued on their way while cautiously observing their surroundings. The smell of marijuana and car engines was embedded in the place, the music made their ears ring, and the night breeze made their bodies tremble.

(Y/N)'s eyes drifted away when she noticed Lucas in the distance, having a conversation with another guy. Lucas felt her gaze on him and looked at the girl with confusion before approaching her after apologizing to his companion.

"Hey, Kwangya kiddos, what brings you here on this magnificent night?" Lucas asked enthusiastically.

"We wanted to know what these races are about," Jungwoo replied simply.

"Hmm, interesting," the tall guy nodded. "Well, you're in luck, Jaehyun will race today, are you sure you want to see the show? The best of the area against someone from Yellow Wood," Lucas explained while cracking his fingers slightly.

Upon hearing the guy's name, (Y/N) looked up and paid attention to Lucas's words.

"If you're interested in betting, come to me," Lucas advised.

"I think we're fine like this," said (Y/N).

"Alright, take care. I'll go look for my guy to get him ready for the race," Lucas announced as he patted Jungwoo on the back.

The guy walked away from them with a smile, and Jungwoo responded with one of his own, then he looked at his friend and frowned, "relax, you're anxious."

How could she not be?

But before she could even answer anything, a few meters away, she saw the familiar face she had been looking for. In the distance, the silhouette of Jung Jaehyun was leaning against his car while talking to a few guys from Neo Zone, his neck tattoos weren't very visible due to the darkness of the night but she could distinguish them a bit, then... as if he had called him, Jaehyun's gaze moved to connect with hers, making her freeze in place.

Jaehyun frowned when he saw her standing just a few steps away from him, looking like a lost puppy as she stood beside Jungwoo.

The sight reminded him of a month ago when Daeho had clumsily brought (Y/N) to Neo Zone. Although this time she was accompanied by her best friend, another rich and spoiled kid from Kwangya. He observed the outfit she had decided to wear, once again, just like that time, it wasn't extravagant, no famous brand could be seen in her attire, and the only piece of jewelry she wore was a pair of earrings that definitely looked like gold...

He hoped she wouldn't lose them tonight.

Because they made her look good.

The surprise was evident on the girl's face when she took a better look at the brunet's body, who was now walking towards her, wearing a hoodie with its hood over his head and as he got closer, the darkness of the night was no longer so intrusive. It hadn't been enough to hide the bruises that were scattered across his body.

There was one under his cheek, just below his left eye, and it was reddish, as if it were flushed. Then, looking at the ones between his jaw and his neck, she noticed how they subtly mixed with the ink of the tattoo he had on his neck. That one was difficult to distinguish thanks to the dark lines that adorned that part of his body, but if you paid enough attention, it was alarming.

When she lowered her gaze over his torso and then looked at his hands, she could see the intense shades of red that his knuckles contained, as if ground blood had accumulated on each of them.

It wasn't the first time she had seen Jaehyun or Lucas with a bruise or two on a school day, but it was the first time she had seen it up close.

Her heart was pounding a mile a minute. Why was it suddenly doing this?

"Did you lost your way home?" Jaehyun asked when he was in front of her.

"Jaehyun," she muttered quietly, "... are you okay?"

The girl didn't need much to realize that was the stupidest question she could ask right now, of course he wasn't okay. And although she knew this happened regularly in Jaehyun's life, she couldn't help but fill her head with doubts; what had to happen for him to end up like this?

... was that the reason he hadn't gone to school?

A small smile appeared on the boy's face, and even with the different colors decorating his face, she could still notice the dimples that formed in it.

Why did he still look good?

"I don't think you came here to ask that, Angel," Jaehyun replied mockingly. "I really believed in your whole story about us going on our ways, so what are you doing at a race where most of the spectators are from Neo Zone?"

The girl was left speechless. "Jungwoo brought me here."

"Well, if that's the case, enjoy the races, I think it'll be fun for you to spice up your Wednesday nights a bit," he continued with a sarcastic smile.

"What happened to you?" She asked again.

Jaehyun didn't answer.

He had gotten himself into big trouble... all thanks to Jeno.

He had trusted that all his merchandise would be sold by the time Monday came around, but after being at Johnny Suh's party, where other dealers were also present, he didn't manage to sell what he needed.

He had a little less than half left in his pockets and in Lucas's.

Luck had not been on his side this time, and when he had to be accountable to Lee Sooman, he had to take responsibility for his brother's actions. And despite telling him that he would not take care of him like he used to after the argument they had... he'd much rather take the beatings he had received than see Jeno the way he did in the mirror.

That time, it really felt eternal. He still remembers the angry (but also mocking) look Sooman had on his face when Jaehyun and Lucas brought the money to his office and after asking Lucas none too kindly to leave, that was when Jaehyun knew what was coming.

With Cheol Uk by his side, leading him out of the office to the vacant lot not far from the warehouse, Jaehyun could do nothing but accept what was coming.

It was one blow after another, and he knew well that at that moment, defending himself was not something he should do or he would end up worse.

He remembers feeling every punch with tremendous pain, and all he could think about was Jeno and how he would have felt if it had been him getting beaten up.

At least Jaehyun was used to the beatings and had no choice; he already knew that all of this was part of being someone from Neo Zone, so he simply had to continue to comply with what Sooman demanded to the letter unless he wanted to end up again in the position he was in.

What felt like hours was really just a few minutes; Cheol Uk stopped hitting him after a while and without saying more, he left. Leaving Jaehyun in the middle of the vacant lot with a broken lip and eyebrow as he spat blood and reached for his abdomen for some support to get up and walk to where he knew Lucas was waiting for him.

How much more? How much longer would he have to keep with all of this?

But, right now, it wasn't something he should talk about.

"It's really not something you need to know," he replied with a smirk. "You came to enjoy the race, right? Then do it, I'll be running in a few minutes, if you don't get scared by the atmosphere here before that, I'm sure you'll want to see me," Jaehyun continued, winking at her.

"I think it'll be fun to see you in second place," the girl teased.

"Baby... I always win," Jaehyun bragged, looking her directly in the eyes.

It was then that the girl didn't say anything else, she just kept her gaze on his. She hated feeling intrigued by Jaehyun himself. Because right now she didn't even feel like she was in Kosmo, with Jaehyun in front of her looking directly at her, she didn't even feel real. She was getting into fire and she knew it.

And she didn't know if she could escape from it.

For a moment she felt a heaviness on her shoulders and warmth surrounded her, causing her to snap out of her thoughts and notice that the jacket that Jaehyun was wearing over his hoodie was now over her body.

"You were trembling like a chihuahua," Jaehyun explained. "Don't consider it an act of kindness, I'm just returning the favor after having done my jobs those two weeks... at least now they won't kick me out of school this evaluation period," he continued.

"I'm not sure if I should feel good knowing that I'm indirectly helping an illegal business," she replied, adjusting the jacket.

"No one needs to know," he replied. "Good luck tonight, don't get lost too much because things get interesting," he said, and without further ado, he turned around to go back to his friends.

(Y/N) stood perplexed in her place, and it was then that she felt Jungwoo's presence next to her.

"What was that?"

"I have no idea."

_______________________________________________

The next morning, after putting her books back in her backpack, (Y/N) looked at the jacket folded inside her bag, feeling a heaviness and remembering the events of the previous night.

The rumors were true... Jung Jaehyun was the best street racer in the area, because he not only competed once the day before, but two more times, winning 3 victories in a short time, and to be honest, it had been impressive.

She hadn't run into him again after the brief conversation they had, and even though she had been waiting for it... she and Jungwoo bolted from the place when they heard the police sirens approaching Kosmo.

The last thing she needed was for her parents to find out about her escapade.

She didn't hear anything from Daeho the night before, she even doubted if he had really gone to the race.

She didn't want to give too much importance to the situation, which is why she chose to continue her path through the school hallways, hoping to return the jacket that was at the bottom of her bag and trying to divert her thoughts to something other than Jaehyun.

And as if she had summoned him, she saw him under the entrance roof as he leaned against the wall and took a drag from the cigarette in his hands. (Y/N) checked the day's weather and cursed when she noticed the raindrops falling lightly. She had forgotten about today's forecast.

Jaehyun was lost in his thoughts as he watched the rain and let out the smoke in his chest.

The bruises were still visible.

She stopped abruptly to take the jacket out of her bag and, without saying anything, approached him and handed it back to him.

Jaehyun looked at her with a raised eyebrow and blew out the smoke from his lungs.

"You're welcome," Jaehyun said as he took the jacket in his hands.

"Yes, thank you," she said, feeling her cheeks flush.

"Where did you park your car?" Jaehyun asked out of nowhere.

"I didn't bring it with me, my mom confiscated it," she blurted out without thinking, and when she turned to look at Jaehyun, she noticed a mocking smile on his face.

"Oh, mom took away your Porsche," he pouted mockingly and shook his head. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"I'm fine, Jaehyun. Thanks," she said as she looked at the rain.

"Come on, it wouldn't be the first time I've taken you. Plus, the school won't be closing anytime soon."

She thought about all the possibilities that crossed her mind, but something about her was excited to think about the ride home.

"Where's your car?"

______________________________________________

It was fortunate that his car was nearby.

Jaehyun turned on the heater as soon as they got into the car, and without further ado, the journey began.

It was just like the first time they had been together in the same car. Without saying anything, both with their eyes focused on the road, and it was then that they both realized that they didn't have a topic of conversation. The few times they had interacted had been about their interests and what they needed from each other at the moment. However, Jaehyun didn't know anything about (Y/N) that he hadn't heard at school, and (Y/N) didn't know anything about Jaehyun that she hadn't heard in the hallways or from her parents about the people from Neo Zone.

At this point, they weren't even acquaintances.

They had just coincided in something and that was it.

(Y/N) took the opportunity to send a text message to Jungwoo and tell him that he no longer needed to pick her up, without explaining more, she sent the text and subsequently, Jaehyun's phone rang.

The boy sighed and cautiously looked for a quick place to park even with the sound of the mobile phone ringing filling the car. He took the device and (Y/N) could notice the slight tension that seized Jaehyun's body as he read the caller ID, without thinking twice he answered the call.

The brunette felt weird being able to hear Jaehyun's conversation, so she tried to distract herself with something else. First with her phone, then looking out the window where she could see the rain beginning to dissipate, and then she could hear a "I'll be there in a moment" that made her react and turn to see him end the call.

The boy scratched his neck and then brought his hands to his face to rub it, let out a deep sigh, and looked at (Y/N).

“Uh, I need to do something quickly and your house is still a bit far... Do you mind if we stop by that place first? It's on the way” he asked with no other option.

“Does this has to do with your job?” She asked.

It took him a moment to respond: — No, it's not about my job. You can stay in the car, it's just that, I really need to get there.

After seeing Jaehyun's face and not being able to decipher what he was trying to say, (Y/N) nodded, not very sure, and that was enough for Jaehyun to quickly start the car.

Thousands of thoughts ran through (Y/N)'s mind. Eager to know where they were headed; she didn't know if she should believe Jaehyun that this wasn't about picking up or delivering goods or meeting someone who worked on the same thing he did.

She was only sure they wouldn't go to Neo Zone because they were far from there.

She could see how impatient Jaehyun seemed while driving, and that only made her even more nervous. What exactly did they tell him in that call to make him like this? She wanted to ask, but she knew she wouldn't get an answer.

She didn't know how many minutes had passed, she only knew that the rain stopped just before the car parked and she finally noticed where they were. A gray building was a few meters away from them, and it wasn't hard to recognize it.

It was the National Rehabilitation Center.

A long and large building, which was accompanied by an extensive garden, and from the outside, you could see that there were a huge number of rooms inside it.

Her head was flooded with even more questions knowing that this was the place where Jaehyun was needed.

“You can stay in the car if you want. I'll be back in a moment” Jaehyun said as he opened the car door and got out.

Curiosity got the better of her.

And that's why she got out of the car and followed Jaehyun. Without saying anything, they entered the building where they were immediately greeted by a nurse who seemed to know the boy well.

“Jaehyun, I'm glad you were able to answer the call” said the woman as she greeted them. “We need to talk to you”.

The boy nodded and turned to (Y/N), who just nodded and said, “I’ll wait for you.”

He smiled slightly and walked with the person until they reached the reception where she was able to pull out a few papers.

It had been, perhaps, about two weeks since the last time he had been there. A place he was very familiar with and where he regularly went; he had become good friends with the friendly nurses who apparently didn't care where he came from.

He was grateful that the nurse didn't say anything when his bruises and wounds were clearly visible.

“Has something happened?” he asked after a few seconds.

“ He's fine” the nurse said with a smile “but we need to talk to you about his stay here” she continued.

That's when the small smile on his face disappeared. Jaehyun knew what she was referring to. He swallowed hard before the nurse could speak.

“The payment is overdue, Jaehyun," the nurse confirmed what he already knew. "We care about Sicheng's health, but this is not my concern. You know that the center relies on patients' monthly payments, and the administrators in charge of them request them punctually," she commented as she handed Jaehyun one of the papers. "I understand your situation and Sicheng's, but there's nothing more I can do even if I wanted to; I've tried to delay the payment as much as I could, but unfortunately, it can't be delayed any longer. The administrators expect the payment soon, or we'll have to discharge Sicheng and send him home," she concluded.

It was difficult at first for Jaehyun to process everything the nurse had said, as more than ten things ran through his mind at once; one of them being his good friend Winwin, then, thinking about how he could quickly get the money he knew he owed to the clinic, considering the beating he had just received for not being able to complete a sale. So, what would he do? He still needed half the money for that monthly payment, and between the clinic's expenses and those of his own house for his family, he couldn't see a way to get the money on time.

He would have to ask for more stash to sell if he wanted to do it.

He couldn't let them discharge Sicheng.

Not while he hasn't made progress.

"I'm sorry," Jaehyun said. "I... I still have a little left to complete the payment. It's just that lately, it's been harder, and... how much time do I have to pay it?" the breathless boy asked.

"Considering that it's only the first few days of the month, and the payment is already two weeks late... I can't give you more than three days," lamented the nurse, making a grimace.

"I'll try the impossible to bring you that money on Saturday. Sicheng still can't be discharged; he hasn't progressed the way he was supposed to," he affirmed, a slight pout evident in his mouth.

What a contrast there was between his expression and the bruises, accompanied by the tattoos on his body.

Being in the Rehabilitation Center was the place where he could be most vulnerable.

"How is he?" he asked, lowering his gaze.

"Same as the last time you came to visit him," commented the nurse. "We're doing what we can, Jaehyun, but as long as he stays the way he is, we can't move forward. We need his will to help him."

When no words came out of his mouth, the nurse continued: "Jaehyun, you know you can go see him."

For Jaehyun, each visit was just as difficult as the day he decided to admit Sicheng to that clinic, and each one left him more tormented than the previous.

He would give everything if that means that Sicheng would go back to be himself.

He nodded after a few seconds and cautiously glanced back, where, not far away, (Y/N) was reading some brochures and observing the facilities around them; when she noticed the boy's gaze on her body, she walked toward him carefully.

The brunette didn't really know what came to his mind or what caused those words to come out of his mouth, but when he wanted to back off, it was too late, because they had already been expressed.

"Are you coming with me?"

And although (Y/N) had no idea why they were there or where they were going, she accepted anyway. So they found themselves walking down the long whitewashed hallway until they reached an elevator, and then they went up about three floors.

The atmosphere was cold, the hallways and rooms were well-lit, and they could see a few nurses and what she assumed were doctors walking around in their lab coats.

Jaehyun didn't know why he was allowing himself to show her that part of his life, especially when it was such a fragile part for him. He had tried to protect it cautiously for the past few months, and now he was there, accompanied by Hwang (Y/N), with the person he never thought he would meet at that moment.

He hadn't really thought of her when he asked if they could go there before going home; his head was only thinking about the clinic and Sicheng when the call had ended, and it was too late to change his mind when they had set off.

He just hoped the girl would be discreet enough.

They reached room 119, where Jaehyun pushed the door open and where in a wheelchair, they both could see Winwin, who was facing the large window of his room, looking outside.

(Y/N)'s surprised face did not go unnoticed; she was confused in a thousand ways. She knew who Dong Sicheng was; everyone in her school knew him, however... she thought he had simply left the city. She had no idea he was in that place. So in her head, thousands of questions arose about him, why he was there, and why he was in a wheelchair.

She could only react when she heard Jaehyun's voice: "Hey, buddy. How are you today?"

Nothing.

That's what he received.

Jaehyun walked over to him, and when he stood next to him, he crouched down enough to be able to observe him better. Winwin had his gaze fixed forward, his cheeks were a little rosy, his hair fell over his forehead, and his hands were resting on his legs.

Jaehyun sighed.

"Oh, I see you've taken a shower today," the boy mentioned with a smile, and again, there was not a single response.

When he noticed the presence of the girl, who had remained in her place throughout the visit and hesitated to approach them, he spoke: "Today I'm not alone; I brought company. Maybe you'll find it helpful to hear another voice that isn't mine or Lucas's... or the nurses'," the boy teased and gestured to the brunette to come closer, who obeyed. "Do you remember (Y/N)? She was in our class; we've coincided a couple of times, that's why she's here."

"Hello, Winwin," she greeted softly. Jaehyun made a grimace and stood up from his place to be at the girl's height.

"Don't expect an answer," Jaehyun commented. "There won't be one."

"I thought... I thought Winwin had moved to China," (Y/N) confessed.

Jaehyun snorted: "Yes, that's what everyone thinks."

Those words took her by surprise, and it was when she decided to remain silent, watching from a distance the little interaction between the boys: it was just Jaehyun saying a few words while adjusting Sicheng's hair without expecting any response.

Dong Sicheng and Jung Jaehyun had been friends since birth, being two little boys who grew up on the streets of Neo Zone, it was easy to click with each other. Winwin's parents had decided to move to the infamous area after his father had met Lee Sooman in some low neighborhood in Wenzhou, China, and he had offered him a job where he could have his family at least a little better off than in his country.

Winwin had not joined the gang since it had not been of great urgency to him; his father was the active member needed by the family, and if he were honest... the farthest he could be from the Neo Zone gang... the better. He was always Jaehyun's companion at all times. Best friends who shared every detail of their lives for years, Jaehyun took care of Sicheng, and he provided the most sincere friendship he had ever had... then, a while later, Lucas Wong and Mark Lee joined their adventures.

Four boys from Neo Zone with the desire to conquer the world, but unable to leave their sad reality behind.

Jaehyun still remembers that fateful day a year ago, and he still feels like it happened yesterday.

The guilt gnawed at him every passing day, terrorizing each of his nights as he wondered: Why?

Why did something like that have to happen to someone as good as Dong Sicheng was?

A year ago, when Jaehyun had chosen to go deliver a package of stash after Winwin had asked him to stay and keep him company, and he had denied that request... that decision still drilled into his head.

Winwin's family and he had been robbed in their own home. Knowing who had done it, the reasons for the event, and who had ordered such inhumanity, were still a mystery. When Winwin's parents along with him tried to flee the place by leaving in a car; it had not been the wisest decision they had made at the moment... because not long after, outside of Neo Zone, after the group of people who had robbed their home managed to shoot a clean shot in one of the tires of the rear part of the car, causing Winwin's father to lose control of his own vehicle and not a few meters later it would impact hard enough for the car to be shot in another direction, causing immediate damage.

Jaehyun only remembers receiving a call from Lucas and minutes later finding himself at the entrance to the Emergency Room of the General Hospital, where a stretcher with Winwin's body was being transported.

He remembers seeing the blood. He remembers hearing Lucas and Mark's screams asking to see their friend. He remembers standing still at the entrance to the Emergency Room.

But above all, he remembers thinking, what would have happened if instead of deciding to go sell that stupid package of stash, what if he had stayed at home with his mother and Sicheng?

A week in a coma and a diagnosis of paraplegia was what made Jaehyun lose his mind.

It had been a year since the accident, and Winwin had not even progressed a bit. After being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, it had been difficult to help the injury in the dorsal spine that he had suffered; the damage had been partial, Winwin could handle his movements and his sensitivity to walk again... if only he would come out of the state of shock he was still in.

There were too many things he experienced in so few minutes, so much physical and mental pain for what happened, that now, Sicheng couldn't react.

It had been a year since Sicheng hasn’t spoken.

The doctors assured that he could hear and understand everything, but he was simply mentally tired to process the words and make them come out of his mouth.

His body didn't react as it should either.

And until Winwin had the strength of his own will to do it, the only thing they could do at that clinic was to keep him on medication so that the pains would not persist.

But Jaehyun couldn't take it anymore.

What he would give for Sicheng to be able to enjoy life again.

Unfortunately, the visits he made to the hospital... didn't last more than half an hour since that was the place's regulation. So, his farewell was as quick as his arrival.

"See you on Saturday, Win," he put his hand on his shoulder. "Don't give the nurses too much trouble."

He could swear he heard Winwin laugh and say goodbye.

Even though that really didn't happen.

(Y/N), who throughout the visit remained silent observing both boys, could feel her heart in her hand. She had never believed she would see that vulnerability on Jaehyun's part, and knowing what it was about because of the importance his best friend had in his life, made her heart ache with sadness even more.

"Now I'll take you home," murmured Jaehyun when he passed by her without saying anything else.

The girl glanced back, looking for the last time at Sicheng's silhouette, who hadn't moved from the same place since they had both arrived in the room. She took a deep breath and left the room when Jaehyun was already far enough away.

She didn't know what to say. There were no words of comfort for the situation, and she knew it, that's why they both silently said goodbye to the nurse who had received them and continued like that until they entered the car, which was not parked far away.

Jaehyun allowed himself to lean back on the driver's seat as he closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

"I guess you have many questions," Jaehyun said without opening his eyes.

She had.

"I don't know if I really should ask them," (Y/N) confessed as she looked at him.

The boy remained silent for a few seconds.

"Sicheng and his parents had an accident a year ago," Jaehyun said, opening his eyes to look at her. "An accident that was caused."

"By whom?"

"No one knows," he replied, taking his hands to the steering wheel of the car and squeezing it tightly. "His parents died instantly... Winwin arrived at the hospital in critical condition; it was a miracle that he came out alive."

"Why...?"

"Why is he in this clinic?" he interrupted, and she nodded with a knot in her stomach. "The accident had a great impact and damaged on his dorsal spine; the doctors diagnosed partial paraplegia; his sensitivity in his legs was minimal, and he couldn't make any extensive movements with his legs that didn't make him cry from the pain. After seven days, he woke up from the coma and realized everything that had happened, including my uncle's death... he hasn't said a single word since then... the doctors said it would take time for him to recover, and that eventually, he would speak, but Winwin doesn't have the will to do it; he's still in a kind of state of shock, and that has delayed his recovery," he explained, unable to see her in the eyes.

"Who... who pays for all this if Sicheng's parents aren't here?" she asked curiously.

Jaehyun sighed; "For the first few months, my boss covered part of the monthly fee, until suddenly he stopped doing it. Since then, I've been taking care of it."

The girl's expression was one of surprise.

"How do you do it?"

"That’s the reason I'm in the business that I'm in," he replied, changing his gaze to her, being able to see directly into her eyes and causing her to feel a shiver run through her body.

There was something about those bruised eyes that had done something to her.

"It must be hard," the girl said in a murmur.

Jaehyun snorted and nodded slowly. He hated being seen in his less tough character. The only person he allowed himself to be like that with was Lucas... or Winwin. And for a stranger to see him like that... made his blood boil.

"You know? Winwin loved dancing," Jaehyun said, smiling sideways as the memory came to his mind.

That fact wasn't strange for (Y/N), she remembers seeing Winwin at the school theater... the only boy from Neo Zone who was part of the dance team. She didn't even know how he had managed that, but he must have been good if the Kwangya students allowed him to be in the group.

"Now nobody knows if he'll be able to do it again," Jaehyun continued. "Winwin was the only one of all of us who really had a future, he wasn't even a gang member... he hadn't even gone through his initiation, and look how he ended up."

(Y/N) swallowed.

"Mark Lee is no longer friends with you, right?" The girl asked curiously.

"Things got complicated with him after the accident."

The brunette fell silent for a moment and then shifted her body to face him.

“Haven't you thought about looking for another alternative?” she questioned again “You know? If you let me help you, maybe I could get you a position at my father's company and...”

“Shh. I think I've told you it's not that easy.”

“ But it could be” she insisted.

Jaehyun scoffed and shook his head as he looked away from her.

“I not only have to cover this quota, I also have to bring money home, for my mom and for Jeno. It's the easiest way to get what I need” he confessed “besides, I told you once... in Neo Zone there's no way out, once you're in, you're in forever.”

The tattoos on his neck were what sentenced him to a miserable life forever.

But as long as that miserable life helped to ease the pain and managed to make Sicheng return to who he was, it would be worth it.

“It doesn't have to be like this” she murmured, focusing on her own hands.

"You don't know what it's like to be part of this," he countered in a low voice.

How had they opened up to have such a conversation so suddenly?

The girl felt her lip tremble as she remembered the scene she had witnessed minutes earlier in that room, and she couldn't help but think about how it would feel to lose a loved one in such a way... knowing that physically they were present, but mentally they weren't there.

(Y/N) had always had a heart easy to move, but she really never believed that Jung Jaehyun would be able to achieve that.

"Is that why you insist on continuing school?" she asked, looking at him again.

"Students are my best clients," he replied with a half smile.

(Y/N) didn't know how to take that.

She closed her eyes for a moment and then said, "I can help you with a few more assignments," she assured. "But only for a while and in my own way. But, I don't want you to involve me in any of the problems you're in, it will only be school matters. I don't want to be associated with anything you do, if anything you do is enough to help Sicheng, I'll try not to question it."

Jaehyun couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"If that helps you help me and me stay in school..." he paused "...I might be willing."

"What's the reason for your change of heart?"

"Because if I were in the same situation as you, I would also want someone to somehow help me," she replied, hugging herself.

The boy nodded with a half-smile, and without further ado, he started the car.

"Only school matters," Jaehyun confirmed.

She definitely didn't know what he had just gotten himself into.

______________________________________________

The day after the visit to the National Rehabilitation Center, something happened that made (Y/N) unable to concentrate enough during class hours. Her mind kept going back to the place over and over again, but how horrible was the situation the boy was in. One day you're capable, and the next... not even being able to move. How could anyone endure that?

At some point in the morning, during the physics period, her mind was spinning, her leg moving anxiously, and she bit her lips. She tried to erase the conversation she and Jaehyun had had the day before a thousand times and tried to erase the image of Winwin in that room.

But it was impossible.

Just when she thought she had succeeded, the image returned immediately.

She hated being someone who cared too much about things.

Because she knew something wasn't right with her when she found herself in front of the doors of the Rehabilitation Center.

Her coat shielded her from the cold breeze on that day, and as she clutched her bag to her, she didn't think anymore and entered the place.

She felt a little out of place when she entered the center, but after a few minutes, a presence came in front of her.

"Hello, good morning," the nurse greeted her. "Oh, you're the girl who accompanied Jaehyun yesterday, right?" She asked in confusion.

The girl smiled and nodded. "Yes, I'm Hwang (Y/N). I'm Jaehyun's classmate... and Winwin's."

"How nice of you to visit us... are you here to see Winwin? It's rare to see someone come for him other than Lucas or Jaehyun," confessed the nurse.

"Um, yes... I could say I'm here for a visit," the girl smiled. "But, to be honest... yesterday I overheard a bit of his conversation with Jaehyun... I know Winwin's payment is delayed this month."

"Yes, usually Jaehyun finds a way to pay on time," she sighed. "But this month it's been delayed for a few weeks, and if I'm honest, I've been doing everything I can to keep Winwin from being discharged."

The girl nodded and asked, "Do you think Winwin's treatment will still take time?"

"I can't answer that accurately," admitted the nurse. "It's all a matter of Winwin's will, but to be honest, right now he has no will at all, so far as we're concerned, and if the payment continues to be monthly... he could spend another half a year here."

The girl understood the situation, and although she would like to think more about it... she didn't, so she didn't even know when she blurted out those words: "Is there any way I can pay for the next six months?"

The nurse's eyes widened with surprise, and she looked at the girl with enthusiasm. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," she replied. "I would like to help one of my classmates as long as I can. Money is not a problem," she confessed.

"Wow... thank you, i really appreciate that. Winwin is a boy with a lot of potential from what we know, and although we're sad that we haven't made the progress we want, we know that someday he will leave through that door better," (Y/N) smiled nostalgically.

"I just need to ask you something," the brunette confessed. "Could you not tell Jaehyun that I've paid?" she questioned.

"I don't know if it's easy to lie to someone like Jaehyun," the nurse laughed. "But since it's something good you've done... I'll try," the nurse walked to the desk with (Y/N) behind her. "(Y/N)?" She called and paid attention. "I know there may be many things about Jaehyun... but he's a good guy... beneath all that facade; he really has something good."

Those words hammered in her head. "Thank you."

_____________________________________________

(Y/N) reviewed the same line of text she had read five times now on some molasses topic. Trying to understand the topic deeply.

The air coming lightly through one of the library windows was enough for her to try to hug herself to take warmth, read a bit from the physics books on the table, and impatiently move her leg.

She didn't know at what exact moment a tall figure stood in front of her, but what she did know was that that person didn't seem very happy.

"Why did you do it?" Jaehyun let out while looking directly at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," (Y/N) replied while looking at her book attentively.

"I know you know. I thought I told you I don't need your money," Jaehyun repeated with annoyance.

"I still don't know what you're talking about," the girl stopped seeing her book and changed her gaze to the boy.

"Don't play with me," the boy exclaimed exasperatedly. "Why did I went to the center today and they told me Winwin's treatment has been paid for the next six months?"

The girl shrugged. "It could have been your boss."

"My boss doesn't give a shit about Winwin!" Exclaimed the boy. "I told you I didn't need your money, I was clear, I don't want to owe anything to anyone from Kwangya."

"You don't need to pay me back," the girl assured, standing up in front of Jaehyun. "With the money you'll save from that, you'll be able to sell less."

"It seems you don't understand a fucking thing!" Jaehyun raised your arms with annoyance. "Paying or not paying for Sicheng's treatment, it doesn't change the fact that I sell drugs!" The boy explained regardless of where they were; they were lucky the library wasn't being occupied by other people.

"Everyone starts somewhere!" the girl attacked. "I just wanted to take a weight off your shoulders."

Jaehyun scoffed and looked at her with a sarcastic smile.

"Why? I don't need your pity! If you hadn't accompanied me yesterday, you'd still be thinking Winwin had moved to China! You didn't give a fucking damn even when he was your classmate!"

(Y/N) started gathering her things and putting them in her backpack.

"Saying thank you would have been enough, Jaehyun!" the girl remarked. "I know you can do better with your life," she murmured as she turned to look at him.

Jaehyun's blood was boiling; he hated when people interfered in his life, as if he didn't already have enough to deal with.

"You don't know anything about me! You said it yourself; we're not even friends," he retorted.

"And what if I want to get to know you better?" the girl exclaimed without thinking. They both fell silent, staring into each other's eyes. (Y/N) didn't even want to say those words, but she did.

She couldn't deny that Jung Jaehyun was intriguing. She didn't know why. She didn't know why she had been avoiding him for weeks, but since that night at Neo Zone, when they had talked about the deal, she knew it would be difficult to shake him off, and when she had... something inside her wanted them to meet again. Why are things so difficult? They are two different people from different backgrounds; why would she suddenly be interested in him? Was it because she saw him vulnerable the day before? Or was it because she believed there was something good in him, just like the nurse had said?

She must be crazy to think like that.

"You really don't want to do it," Jaehyun said with a bit more calmness.

"I know you can get out out of that hole, Jaehyun."

"Winwin's parents tried, and look how that ended up!" he exclaimed. "There's no way out in Neo Zone, get that through your head," he explained. "There's nothing good about me. I don't even know why you think so, just because yesterday you saw something different or because I drove you home a couple of times, doesn't mean you know everything about me!"

"Stop acting like a fucking jerk."

"Like a jerk? This is reality! Your act of charity isn't going to change my life. I was born a dealer, and that's how my life will end!"

"I really believe there's something good in you."

"Well, keep believing it."

"If you ever feel grateful, you know where to find me," the girl said, gathering her things and walking out of the library.

Jaehyun cursed under his breath and shook his hands in frustration. In just a few days, the girl had managed to push his buttons faster than anyone else from Neo Zone.

But when he saw her walk out the door, why did he feel regret for lashing out at her?

_______________________________________________

The week had been slow this time. (Y/N) and Jaehyun had been avoiding each other like the plague, not even looking at each other when they crossed paths in the hallway. For the girl, it seemed like childish behavior, especially coming from Jaehyun and his usual façade; now he seemed nothing more than someone throwing a tantrum after she only wanted to help him.

But she still thought she really wanted to get to know him better.

What was behind his façade? What was it that made him who he was? Not the boy from Neo Zone, not the dealer everyone knew... who was Jeong Jaehyun really?

That question had been on her mind for weeks, and it disappointed her a bit to know that she might never know the answers to those doubts she had about the boy.

Today was warm compared to the weather last week. The sun was shining brightly, and luckily for (Y/N), her mother had decided to return her car. So her day had started off on the right foot, and hoping for a good day, she took the opportunity to stop by her favorite coffee shop in Kwangya. Ordering her usual vanilla latte and just before it was time to pay, a thought invaded her mind, and after debating it internally, she decided to follow her thoughts.

An hour and a half later, when she was the last one to leave her physics class, someone blocked her path at the classroom door. Holding her book to her chest, after the unexpected startle, she looked ahead to find no one but Jaehyun. Who stood silently in front of her, with the same leather jacket he used to wear, the same combination of marijuana and vanilla scent, and with the same enchanting eyes, that she had just noticed.

She was in dangerous territory.

And she knew it.

"I need to go to my next class, Jaehyun," the girl said shortly.

For a few seconds, the boy in front of her didn't say anything, he just watched her, until he sighed and slowly said, "Thank you."

Short and to the point, he didn't say anything else, and that was enough to make (Y/N)'s heart flutter in a thousand ways.

"For the coffee," the boy finished. "And for the notes."

"I did my part, I told you I would help you," said (Y/N) as she fiddled with her fingers.

"I thought you wouldn't after the last time we met," Jaehyun confessed.

"I'm sticking to that."

A small silence ensued. Two people face to face. With thousands of doubts between them and things to resolve. What had drawn them together? How was it that the universe managed to put two completely different people in the same place?

"Did you mean it?" Jaehyun asked, and when he noticed that (Y/N) didn't understand what he meant, he continued. "About wanting to get to know me more."

(Y/N) swallowed hard and looking him in the eyes, nodded.

"I still believe there's something good in you."

"Why?"

"I don't know yet," she replied honestly. "And it's killing me. A while ago, I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with you, not even to cross paths, but now, I don't know what's changed, but every time I try to stay away, it's like something brings me back here," she confessed, leaving Jaehyun speechless, who just watched her, trying to decipher everything she was saying.

It was killing him too.

"Let's go to my car," he said.

"Huh?" she asked, confused.

"You want to know more about me, then get in my car," he said again, this time making his way to the parking lot, with (Y/N) behind him, who didn't say a single word, just followed his lead.

What was he doing?

When they reached the car, Jaehyun opened the passenger door, causing (Y/N) to get in without protesting. Then Jaehyun got into the driver's seat and without further ado, started the engine. She didn't know what was happening or what would happen next, but right now she could only trust Jaehyun.

Even though she didn't know how bad an idea that might be.

A few minutes later, as they had traveled a long distance, (Y/N) noticed they were approaching Neo Zone, and with her eyes wide open, she panicked.

"This is me," Jaehyun said out of nowhere, catching the girl's attention. "See all these streets? This is where I belong. This is what I am," he explained carefully.

(Y/N) looked out the window, a couple of people smoking on the sidewalk, others passing joints, and other silent streets. The houses weren't that big... rather, they looked cramped. Unlike what she was used to, to her lifestyle, this didn't seem like it would be enough for a family.

But what did she know with the privilege she had?

"I grew up here, this is what I know," he commented. "Most people are born and die here, it's something that seems to be already written," he continued as his car slowed down. "Those of us from here have a different perspective on life... people from Kwangya lives for the money... we live to survive, and although it's getting harder and harder, we manage to do it," the car finally stopped, and still looking out the window, (Y/N) saw a small house in front of them. One story, not much to describe or point out, it was small but for some reason, it looked cozy.

(Y/N) changed her gaze to Jaehyun, who was still looking ahead and spoke.

"Is this your house?"

Jaehyun nodded.

(Y/N) smiled softly.

"Would you invite me in?"

______________________________________________

He doesn't know how (Y/N) managed to have an effect on him, but now they were there, inside his little house, (Y/N) carefully examining the walls around them and analyzing every aspect of the small space.

He was grateful there were no one at home.

"It looks cozy," (Y/N) said as she looked at one of the frames hanging on the wall.

"I guess it's not even a third of your house," Jaehyun assured to (Y/N).

“And no matter how many people are there, it always feels lonely," she confessed. "It's like no one leaves anything there, like it's something unimportant. As if it's not a home," she finished.

Jaehyun looked at her gently, and as she looked around, thousands of things went through his mind.

"To be honest with you," the girl spoke. "I see more vibes from Jeno in this house than yours," she said. "Many things here seem related to Jeno... but I don't see many things related to you..." she continued. "It's like you don't even think about staying here for long."

"I don't plan on leaving Neo Zone," Jaehyun asserted, crossing his arms.

"Don't you want a different future?"

"There's no future for me," Jaehyun pointed out. "And if there were, I'd prefer to give it to Jeno. He has much more to live for than I do."

"You also have a life to live. A future to write, you can change what is today, for something better," (Y/N) turned around to face the boy.

"I have no way out," the boy replied. "Do you think this is easy? After seeing my dad die and doing everything my bosses ask me to do no matter what. Taking care of my mom, Jeno, and now Winwin? Huh? Making sure Winwin becomes who he was again and that my brother doesn't end up being a fucking addict are enough reasons for me not to leave here," Jaehyun concluded, getting dangerously close to her, with a few centimeters separating them.

The words echoed in her head strongly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't pity me," Jaehyun said under his breath.

"It's not that. It's just that every time I think about all this and now that I see your place and I don't see anything that seems to belong to you, it makes me think that's what you're looking for, to belong to something and leave here as soon as there's an opportunity,"

Jaehyun looked directly at her, not knowing what to say. And afraid to think that maybe she was right.

Because yes, maybe he wanted to get out of there, along with his mom, Jeno, and Winwin; maybe he wanted to do something with his life that wasn't illegal, but what was the point of thinking about it when he knew he wouldn't make it? He was afraid to admit that he wanted to be able to change things, to be able to make his family okay, that no shadow from the past would follow them, that they would have a place where they could forge a clean and safe future.

"This has never been about what I want," Jaehyun commented with a future. "Since I was born, everything around me was the gang. After my father's death, I knew what was coming, and I knew I would never be able to get out of it. It doesn’t matter what I want. It matter what my boss wants, he has that kind of power, no one below him has their own decision. The whole life of Neo Zone is ruled by him," he concluded, even closer to her.

(Y/N) looked him in the eyes, her breath uncontrolled. Her chest heaved, and her hands were sweating.

"What do you want, Jaehyun?" she whispered.

The boy paused for a moment and looked at her lips.

"Now?" he asked, and she nodded. "Would it be unrealistic to say that I want to kiss you?"

"How realistic would it be to say that I want you to do it?

She didn't even finish the question because Jaehyun's lips collided firmly with hers. The boy's long hands slid through (Y/N)'s soft hair, her hair smelling of lavender shampoo. He gently covered her cheek with one of his rough hands, and she melted into the touch.

It wasn't a hurried kiss, as (Y/N) thought it would be; actually, Jaehyun was taking the time to savor every passing second. As if this moment would disappear at any minute and he wanted to hold onto it.

Was he looking for something to belong to?

His hand moved from her cheek to her waist, and she took the opportunity to press her body against his and release a moan of pleasure. As if she felt complete leaning against Jaehyun's warmth.

As if it was something they both longed for for a long time.

And even though she wanted to continue with the act, they were severely interrupted when a car horn sounded incessantly outside the house, causing them to separate with tremendous confusion. (Y/N)'s red cheeks were enough to make Jaehyun's heart race, but when he heard another horn, he took her hand and they walked outside in hurry.

And then, there was Jeno, being thrown out of the back of a car, blood streaming from a cut on his eyebrow, bruises scattered all over his body, and falling firmly to the ground after being thrown.

"I want this to be the last time your brother sets foot in our zone. Next time it won't be him we throw," the familiar voice of a boy from the opposing gang spoke up. Chris. Who was with the window down and smiling maliciously. "Neither will it be you, Jung. It will be the girl who will end up like this,"

Jaehyun moved abruptly from his place to try to reach the car, but it left as fast as it could, (Y/N) shocked to hear those words, didn't do anything more than approach Jeno to help him up. Then Jaehyun cursed under his breath and looked into the distance at the girl and her brother together.

And his chest tightened as he realized that now, she too had been involved.

And he believed there was no turning back, because she was right... Jaehyun wanted to belong to something.

But how selfish would it be to belong to (Y/N)?

a/n: well now you know what happened to Winwin TT. Once again I’m sorry if this took too long I promise I’ll try to update sooner this time!

taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)

taglist: @spicyryujin @kriizztin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae

[l0ve-bug-m1les]

hii I was wondering if you could write a

miles morales x male! reader

where the two kiss because they’re curious about their sexuality and that leads to them finding out they aren’t exactly as straight as they initially thought

Ahhhh this is such a good idea!!! Thank you so much!!

🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸

The Answer Sitting in Front of Me

Miles Morales x Male!Reader

Summary: All questions have an answer to find. You just didn’t think you’d find yours in your best friends lips…

Warnings: No actual warnings, just two teenagers figuring themselves out!

It’s the final class of the day, and you’re struggling to stay awake. This isn’t like you, considering the fact you normally go to bed at a decent time so at the end of the day, you’re pretty awake. But today was different. Or rather, last night was different. Recently, you’ve been having…doubts about yourself. Specifically your sexuality. So to—hopefully—get your answer, you spent all night on Google searching up different tests, articles, and videos to answer your burning question. But alas, flashy Buzzfeed quizzes aren’t the remedy you hoped for. So now you’re just here. Tired, ready to get back to the dorms, and still unsure.

A crumpled up piece of paper lands onto your desk. You know exactly who it’s from as you open the note and read it.

"Hey, you don't look so good. Are you alright?”

“Damn, I look so tired you can tell from behind me..” You reply, and ball the note back up as you nonchalantly stretch your arms and drop the note onto his desk. This is how close you and Miles are. It’s easy to tell how the other is feeling just from body language. But at the same time, it wouldn’t take a genius to tell you’re pretty out of it today. You patiently wait for his reply as your teacher drones on and on about something you’ve forgotten about and, frankly, don’t care for. The note returns.

“Yeah. But for real, you’re normally pretty awake when we’re about to leave. What’s wrong?”

You think for a long time. You couldn’t possibly just tell him you’re going through a sexuality crisis! It’d put your relationship in jeopardy! A sigh escapes your lips as you try to think of a bluff, only to scrap the idea knowing Miles would catch it and hound you until you cave in. But what could you possibly say? “Oh, yeah, i think I’m gay and stayed up all night thinking about it. No biggie.” Yeah, right. But at the same time, he opened up to you about him being Spider-Man, so why can’t you just explain your problem to him? “Because he’d hate you.” is the lie your brain is plagued with. You know Miles isn’t homophobic and you know he’d probably just try to help you out. You’ve been through thick and thin with him. He can trust you, and you can trust him.

You realize you’re taking too long when another note flies onto your desk. You don’t read it and just answer the other one: “It’s kinda complicated. Swing by my room when you get a chance, alright?” You toss it back and refocus your attention to the lesson.

It'll be alright.

Right?

🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸

Time flies and you’re now sitting at your desk in your dorm. Your roommate’s off to who knows where, so you’re by yourself just waiting for that fateful tap on your window from Miles. Normally after school he’ll do some spider stuff before coming back and chilling out for the rest of the day, most of the time with you. That is, unless some guy tries to wreck havoc on Brooklyn, and it’s up to Miles to take them down. As much as it sucks when he has to leave, you admire how dedicated and passionate he is about doing what’s right and protecting what he loves most. You also appreciate how much he’s helped you throughout the school year. High school is no joke, and there have been some times when you felt like all was hopeless. But with Miles there, you came out of those slumps for the better. You also admire the way his eyes shine with that cheeky glow when he says an exceptionally cheesy joke, with that charming smile to go with it. And his kinda cute laugh and—

Oh no.

You groan and lean back in your chair. It’s those thoughts again. The very thoughts that have you so tired and confused. The line between admiration for guys and attraction towards guys has been blurred and now you’re not sure if there even is a difference for you. You close your eyes and continue to think before a shadow blocks out the sun and you hear a knock at the window. “Here we go..” you think to yourself as you unlock the window and open it for Miles.

"How you been?" Miles says as he steps through with that same sweet enthusiasm. He’s not in his Spider-Man suit so you figure all went well. “I’ve just been chilling out,” you say and sit back down, “nothing too exciting.”

He hums in response before taking a seat on your bed. “So what was it you needed to explain that was so complicated? Don’t tell me you’re having an identity crisis!” he jokes. You don’t smile because that’s exactly what it is. He notices the change in your demeanor and grows worried. “Ah..I see,” he looks over you for any hints as to what’s bothering you, “uhm…would you feel comfortable explaining?” he asks.

You take a long moment to think. Is this really a good idea? Should you even tell him? It’s not like you’re confessing to him so bad how could it be? You take a slow, long breath in, and release it just as slow. “I think….i think i like guys…” You finally say. “And i spent all night trying to figure that out, which is why i was so tired in class today.”

Well there it is. It’s out.

You both sat in silence and stared at each other for a long moment. Miles looked like he was in disbelief. Great, you blew it. You go to try and reverse the damage before Miles speaks up.

“Wait, really?! You too?!” He exclaims much to your surprise. You too? Wait so does he…

“You’ve been thinking the same thing?” You ask him.

“Yeah! Like, all the time!”

This is some news. You thought he was gonna try to leave and awkwardly forget about the situation. Never did you consider the possibility of him thinking the same thing. But now what? You know he’s possibly not straight like you, but what are you supposed to do with this information? Honestly you didn’t think you’d make this far. “So,” you speak up, “what now? I mean, we’ve got the same problem. How do we solve it?” A good move on your end. Not too leading, but leading enough to keep the conversation going without you both just changing the subject.

“Uhm…have you ever kissed a girl before?” He asks, his eyes avoiding yours.

“No, why?"

"Well, i was just thinking we could..." he trails off, hoping you get the memo.

"Think we could—“ you’re cut off by the realization hitting you— “Oh…i…get what you’re saying. Kiss and compare how it feels when we kiss a girl, right?”

He sheepishly nods. “Yeah, but neither of us have kissed a girl so it wouldn’t work.” His eyes fall to the floor, and you’re stuck looking at the wall. A kiss? Would that really work? Maybe neither of you need to have kissed a girl—or anyone else for that matter—to see compare how it feels when you kiss a boy. You’re a boy. He’s a boy. Why should you have any prior experience? But is it a good idea? What if you like it, but he doesn’t? There’s only one way to find out..

Forget words. You get up and stand in front of Miles. Your hands find a spot on his face and they stay there as you look deep into his eyes. A question. A silent way of asking for permission when words aren’t good enough. He nods and you lean in, gently bringing his face to yours.

After what feels like an eternity, your lips meet. At first you’re both hesitant, but it’s as if a spark went through you both as you relax and lean in to the kiss. Miles holds your hands on his face and let’s the kiss linger for a moment longer than you both thought it’d last. It’s the sweetest first kiss one could have. The world only starts to spin again when you both pull away, practically breathless.

"Did…did that answer your question?" Miles asks, his voice soft.

"Yeah. Did it answer yours?”

Miles nods and leans in again for another kiss with more confidence. His hands find yours and he brings you down onto the bed to sit beside him, before slowly pulling away again.

“Yeah…” he breathes.

You’re a lot more awake now.

🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸

[perfectlyoongi]

THE NUMBERS BETWEEN US

ㅤ↬┊synopsis ... you had a little habit that had been with you since you were little: you loved to count, everything. but when yoongi went to visit his future university and left you alone in the city, this little habit became more addictive.

ㅤ⚘.fandom ... bts. ㅤㅤಇ.ft. ... yoongi x gn!reader. ㅤ⚘.genre ... long-shot. ㅤㅤಇ.content ... fluff, pre-college!au, kinda ocd reader, shy best friends with feelings. ㅤㅤಇ.word count ... 4.2k. ㅤ⚘.cole's note ... dont ask how and why i thought of this, i dont have an answer for u lol i hope u like it tho ♡

You had a little fascination with numbers.

Since you were little, you felt involved in the tender and delicate lines of numbers, finding a little pleasure in counting everything that surrounded you, everything you did, everything you said.

Your life was a routine that revolved around infinite numbers. It was all you knew and it was all you needed. Every day you ate exactly four slices of apple and two cookies and drank a glass of milk; before leaving the house, you always gave your mother two kisses and, when you came home from school, you hugged your father for exactly three seconds. It was all a routine that had been created for a long time and that you couldn’t break.

Numbers have always been important to you, captivating you in the complexity of the vast numerical world since you were little, always leaving you enchanted by their magic.

However, as you grew up, you realized that a lifetime dedicated to numbers and routines was quite complicated – and painful.

Your first heartbreak was when you turned eleven: the typical hug and three seconds with your father had turned into a bitter touching of arms that couldn’t even reach the first second. It was a small disappointment, your first, but it was the only one you needed to start seeing the world in a different way. Maybe numbers aren’t that important after all.

So, even before you entered high school, you had already stopped counting how many steps you took to school, how many minutes you remained silent in class, how many ‘kids’ your teacher said. You believed that now, free from your habit, you could have a normal life, a life that would expand with your enrollment at the university.

However, in your first year of high school, you met Min Yoongi.

In a room full of students, the probability of you pairing up with the new student was a little low, but, perhaps due to your numerical history, the odds were in your favor and, in an English class, you and Min Yoongi met for the first time.

Yoongi’s cordiality invited you to get to know him better. Amid study sessions, a friendship between you began to slowly germinate; your English work was finished almost immediately, but that didn’t stop Yoongi from continuing to send you messages through texts – he always felt more comfortable behind a screen.

The complicity that was created between you and Yoongi was something unusual for you, something you didn’t know how to deal with. In a certain way, you felt that the seed planted by Yoongi in the middle of notebooks and books was taking root in your heart, branches of comfort and security drawing an extensive tree of friendship within you.

In the space of two months, you and Yoongi became inseparable.

But, no matter how much comfort Yoongi provided you, no matter how much warmth Yoongi fed your heart, Yoongi also brought with him a kind of anxiety, a nervousness that forced you to return to that annoying habit of counting – you couldn’t understand why.

And everything went back to numbers.

And everything went back to being a routine.

Every day it took you exactly eleven minutes and four seconds to get to school. Every day you always waited three minutes for Yoongi to appear and offer you two simple words that, in a way, brightened your day. Every day you spent five classes writing exactly thirty lines of notes using just a pen. Every day you had exactly an hour and a half for lunch, which was always shared with Yoongi. Every day, at the end of classes, you always waited five minutes for Yoongi to meet you at the school gate and walk the eleven minutes and four seconds with you to your house.

But, no matter how routine your life was, no matter how many days passed, your little habit brought by Yoongi began to irritate you: you felt like you had gone back in time and been that naive child – but it was stronger than you, you couldn’t help it.

Was there a way to break this habit?

The reality is that during the three years you shared with Yoongi in high school, your life had become a routine surrounded by numerical sequences that you repeated day after day after day after day aft–

No matter how much you thought, you couldn’t understand why Yoongi had such an impact on your life to the point that your heart raced exactly two seconds every time you were with him. This behavior of yours was strange to your heart and year after year it only got worse, reaching the point of confusing all the numbers in your mind.

You blamed Yoongi.

Your heart was unstable whenever Yoongi’s energy approached you. It was practically difficult for you to follow a logical thought because of Yoongi: so quickly your heart beat exactly sixty times a minute, and then it accelerated to a crazy ninety heartbeats.

All because Yoongi was, in reality, that person you always dreamed of.

And now, in the last year of high school, when universities were mentioned and futures were planned, everything seemed redundant, everything seemed meaningless.

“It doesn’t feel real.”

Yoongi’s words were embellished by an intense sunset, the vibrant colors in the sky guiding your path to your house.

“What doesn’t?”

“It’s our last year,” Yoongi had a sad smile on his lips, as if that thought alone carried with it all the negativity in the world. “High school.”

“Yea.”

You used the same smile as Yoongi and, after blinking your eyes twice, you tilted your head a little to watch the sky: among the vibrant colors of reds and oranges, you could make out small white clouds that were trying to create a shape, a story.

“It seems like it was yesterday that we met.”

Your words were covered with pure longing. As if carrying all the memories shared between you and Yoongi, your words caressing Yoongi’s lips, giving truth to that shy smile of his.

Two seconds passed and Yoongi’s smile expanded on its own.

Lost in his thoughts, Yoongi didn’t realize that he was now smiling widely, letting the warm air of the day kiss his lips, his brown eyes shining brightly.

“I’m grateful you’re in my life.”

Yoongi’s confession took exactly three seconds to settle in your heart and five seconds to be processed. Yoongi’s words repeated exactly three times inside your head and lit a single fire inside you.

He was grateful. Because you’re in his life. You.

“Your presence in my life,” every syllable uttered by Yoongi was bathed in longing, peppered with the memories of three long years filled with pure happiness and understanding, “made high school an experience worth living.”

Every word Yoongi released made small palpitations in your heart, your heartbeat becoming irregular when commanded by your best friend’s honesty.

“Having you with me brought me so many emotions, so many dreams, so many…”

“Dreams?”

You couldn’t control yourself. At that simple six-letter word your lips curved into a perfect smile full of curiosity and enthusiasm.

Yoongi told you everything.

There was an desirable complicity in your relationship.

It seemed natural, something that slept inside you and Yoongi and woke up only when the first words were exchanged. Yoongi swore it was timeless. Just two months of your friendship were enough for Yoongi to be sure that the complicity that existed between the two of you was too strong to be new. In other lives, Yoongi used to say, in other lives we shared memories and dreams. In other lives, you used to say, in other lives we had a lasting relationship. In other lives, however, in other lives you weren’t together. But Yoongi believed. You believed.

“What dreams?”

“None.” Yoongi took exactly two steps away from you and, after holding back a smile for exactly one second, he spoke again, his voice full of amusement. “No. It doesn’t matter.”

“Yoonie!” your best friend’s name sounded in laughter, your hands looking for Yoongi’s arm to hold him. “Tell me, what dreams?”

“None, no. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please!”

Your voice had dropped in timbre and, as you gently pronounced those six letters, Yoongi sighed.

Two blinks. A smile.

“I want to join the university basketball team.”

Yoongi’s secret was exposed. Painted with the fire of the sky, Yoongi’s secret flew gently into your ears, basking in your mind, racing your heart.

Ninety-two heartbeats.

Basketball. Yoongi dreamed of basketball. Yoongi dreamed. Basketball. Os course.

“And… I would like you… I would like you to come and watch me play.”

Ninety-seven heartbeats.

You. You were in Yoongi’s dream. Your presence. Your soul. You. In Yoongi’s dream.

You smiled.

“If you make the team, I promise I’ll watch your first game.”

“You don’t need to go. It’s just a dream.”

You could tell from Yoongi’s shy tone of voice that he was embarrassed by his confession, feeling exposed for having told a simple secret.

But it was Yoongi’s dream. It was Yoongi’s genuine and only dream. You. You. You.

“I promise.” your promise was joyful, sprinkled with the sundust that illuminated your conversation. “I want to cheer for you. I want to see you doing what you love most. I want to see my best friend happy.”

“But I’m already happy with you.”

One second. Ninety-four heartbeats.

Two seconds. One hundred heartbeats.

Three seconds. Happy with you. Yoongi was happy. With you. Yoongi was happy with you.

“I’m happy with you too.”

Two perfect smiles. Two genuine smiles. Two silent seconds.

You and Yoongi looked at each other, letting the intense shine in your eyes speak for you. You and Yoongi looked at each other, letting the soft breeze of the day caress your faces. You and Yoongi looked at each other, and the entire world had disappeared.

“My days feel incomplete without you.”

A confession from you.

Seventy-eight heartbeats.

“I can only be myself when I’m with you.”

A confession from Yoongi.

Ninety-one heartbeats.

“Yoongi?”

Your voice came out in a thread, shaky. It didn’t matter how many times you repeated your best friend’s name, the reality is that your heart beat exactly seventy-eight times a minute whenever you thought of that name, whenever you pronounced that name, whenever you waited for that name to respond to you.

Yoongi’s eyes focused on you, a small, shy smile appeared on your best friend’s lips, that curve expanding as if automatically – it was the effect you had on Yoongi.

He didn’t utter a word. Only Yoongi’s gaze spoke for him, shining with the happiness of that moment, showing you the contentment he felt in that moment.

For a instant, your heartbeat dropped to exactly forty-two heartbeats per minute.

“Do you think we will continue to be friends?”

Your question was carried by the breeze at the end of the day, your words spreading across the street as if wanting to drive away all the fear you carried with you.

“I hope so.”

Yoongi’s confession stuck on the sidewalk, his words settling on the street as if cementing all the hope they carried.

“But… you’re going to Seoul, aren’t you?”

“Mhm,” Yoongi seemed unable to utter any statement, it was as if in that single monosyllable he hid something that he was afraid to show.

You continued to walk in silence, the sunset painting you a picture of anxious reds and shy oranges. An entire city graced your walk, where every car and every person played an urban melody that was already well known to you.

“I need to tell you something.”

Yoongi stopped walking and you stopped exactly two steps in front of him.

You were curious. When Yoongi said exactly those six words to you, the possibilities were endless: he could talk about the team of that sport he really likes, he could talk about a restaurant that just opened, he could talk about so many possibilities that the numbers started to jumble inside you.

Yoongi looked at you nervously.

Two blinks. A deep breath. A blink.

“I like you…” Yoongi sighed again and looked at the ground, searching the sidewalk for some of the courage that might have been lost there. Scratching the back of his neck, taking a deep breath once more, Yoongi looked at you again, still nervous, still without courage. “You know I…”

“Yoongi,” you let out a small laugh that hid itself in Yoongi’s ears, resonating over and over and over again. “Don’t be nervous. You know you can tell me everything.”

“Everything, yes.”

A blink. A deep breath. Two blinks.

“You know you’re my best friend,” Yoongi’s voice was low, hoarse, still nervous about the words he was choosing in detail. “You know that I… that I really like you, don’t you?”

Four words.

I really like you.

One word.

Really.

“Yea…”

Pathetic. What a pathetic word. What yea so pathetic. What was happening to you? Why did you let those four words affect you so much? No. One. One word.

“There’s something I didn’t tell you. I didn’t have the courage.”

Courage. Why did Yoongi need that one word?

Forty-five heartbeats.

“There is a program at the university. Where first-year students can receive extra credit and get used to the university. And I am in that program.”

“That’s it?” you laughed at your best friend’s speech. Why was Yoongi so nervous about saying those five words? “You didn’t need to be so nervous.”

“It’s this summer.”

Three words.

Three words that were carried by the wind to distant lands to surprise as many people as they could. Three words that were heard by you with amazement and nervousness. Three words that simply won’t leave your mind.

“It lasts three months.”

Three. Three. Three.

What could you do? What could you say? Was Yoongi waiting for an answer? For a reaction? Nothing crossed your mind other than the number three. Your whole world had collapsed, everything had disappeared, total darkness painted you inside leaving the number three floating, floating, floating, floa–

But you just smiled for exactly two seconds as the last rays of the day gently painted Yoongi’s figure and you waited exactly another two seconds to speak.

“I hope you have fun.”

Your smile was genuine, quite wide and captivating, the kind of smile that would make anyone else smile too. But Yoongi didn’t smile. Yoongi just stared at you, blinking exactly five times before turning his sigh into a small, shaky smile “Thank you.”

In a way, you thought those two words hid more than they showed. In a way, you thought those two words were a disguise for Yoongi’s true feelings.

But you couldn’t say anything. You couldn’t force Yoongi to talk. So you just continued walking with Yoongi by your side, silently casting prayers to the sun to keep Yoongi safe.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You knew Yoongi’s program would be long. What you didn’t know was that the program forced your best friend to disappear completely for three months.

No.

It wasn’t three months.

Ninety-two days, four hours, three minutes, ten seconds since your last hug.

Thirty seconds since his last smile.

Forty seconds since your last goodbye.

You were lying in bed counting precisely the seconds that were ringing loudly on the clock hanging on the wall.

You were trying to distract yourself by following the clock, naming the various seconds that passed. You were simply using that habit of yours to comfort yourself; you were looking for some relieve to protect you from the longing you felt for Yoongi.

Your body was completely relaxed on the mattress, trying to calm your mind a little.

But it was unnecessary. And you knew that. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t overcome the physical lack that Yoongi made you. Yes, you continued to talk almost daily, only when he could and had free time; but talking via texts couldn’t make up for the lack of Yoongi’s laughter, to make up for the lack of Yoongi’s jokes, to make up for the lack of Yoongi.

You sighed and got up from the bed exactly four seconds after letting your sigh of frustration wander into the emptiness of your room, of your heart.

You approached your desk and looked longingly at the last letter you had exchanged with Yoongi.

You let out a small wistful smile.

Yoongi knew how much you liked to count, especially the words, the minutes of waiting, the various spelling mistakes he made on purpose just to make you smile, to give you something more to count.

And that letter was, in fact, something very important to you – not because it was the last one you had received, but because those simple eight words had touched you in a way that you didn’t even know you missed. However, although Yoongi’s ‘we have to talk when I come home’ had moved you, the reality is that it wasn’t in the good way you were used to, but to the point of making your anxiety reach extreme peaks every time you saw that sheet of paper.

You read those words exactly five times before deciding to keep it in the blue box that Yoongi had offered you before leaving. After counting the thirteen letters that rested silently there, you closed the box and placed it on the shelf.

You sat on the bed again.

You counted the seconds on the clock again.

You thought about those eight words again.

What did Yoongi have to say? You thought of exactly eleven scenarios before you heard your cell phone ring and, before you saw who was calling you, your heart dropped to exactly fifty-three beats per minute.

But when you read the name, oh!, when you read Yoongi’s name shining on your small screen your heart accelerated to hundred and eleven heartbeats per minute and you needed to take four deep breaths before gained courage and answered the call.

“Hey.”

Yoongi sounded exactly as he always did: calm with a hint of joy trapped in the syllables. You immediately relaxed, as if that greeting was the magic word to control all your nerves.

“Just got home. Do you want… Do you want to meet me?”

Oh. Yeah. The eight words. Those words were still something you should worry about.

 At the mention of that possible meeting, your body became rigid, your heart slowed down significantly and you simply forgot to breathe.

Yoongi needed to talk to you and you couldn’t decipher what he wanted.

During these long three months, nothing serious had happened to you – but what if something had happened to him? What if he found someone else to share his life with? What if he found someone else who made him feel the same way you once made him feel? What if he had found another best friend?

“Are you still there?”

“Yea, yea,” two yeses, one omission; you were hiding something, you were hiding what you really felt, you were hiding what really worried you. “So… let’s meet at the cafe in twenty?

“See ya.”

You hung up the call and stared at your phone screen for exactly one minute and two seconds.

Silence fell in your room, no thought running through your mind other than those eight words from Yoongi and his request. You couldn’t think of anything else, no matter how hard you tried – and it was slowly destroying you.

You sat in your room for five minutes and thirty-two seconds.

You didn’t want to meet Yoongi. You didn’t want to find out what he wanted to talk to you about so much. Your heart raced just at the thought of Yoongi saying that he found someone different, someone better.

You didn’t want to lose Yoongi, you couldn’t afford that luxury.

But he was here... Yoongi was here and these ninety-two days, four hours and fifty-three minutes were too much – and it was what moved you.

You got out of bed and got ready for that meeting you were dreading so much.

Walking to the agreed location was like a walk to purgatory. Your feet were slow, your mind was thinking fast. The day was hot, the end of August arriving proud in its majesty and warming every corner of the city, every building in the city, every person in the city – except you.

Wrapped up in your worrying thoughts, the sun of that day found itself unable to tear you away from that block of ice that you had created in your mind with those eight words from Yoongi.

You walked with your head down, hands moving frantically with your fingers looking for a distraction other than the numbers.

But it was needless.

After exactly three steps, you started counting the number of cars that passed you. The number of steps you took. The number of people who were on their cell phone. The time: ninety-two days, five hours, twenty-eight minutes and forty-nine seconds.

Ten more steps and you arrived at the cafe. You knew you had to wait for Yoongi, but you preferred to arrive early rather than spend endless minutes anxiously in your room. Still, you made those ten steps last, dragging them out and distracting yourself with everything you could.

One step, three more people on the cell phone.

Two steps, the memory of your first hello to Yoongi.

Three steps, a couple holding hands – the first that day.

Four steps, your first hug.

Five steps, three pigeons flying.

Six steps, that day he gave you his coat because you were cold.

Seven steps, another person on the cell phone.

Eight steps, when he said he really liked you.

Nine steps, a boy riding a bicycle.

Ten steps, Yoongi.

Ninety-two days, five hours, thirty minutes and two seconds was how long it took you to see Yoongi since your last goodbye.

Two seconds was the time you couldn’t breathe after seeing Yoongi’s relaxed figure.

Forty-five were your heartbeats per minute.

Two minutes was the time you and Yoongi needed to assimilate that reality.

You were together once again.

You ran exactly four steps until you found yourself in Yoongi’s strong arms who, thinking that the world could ruin that moment, didn’t let go of you. Yoongi just held you tightly against his body and you could smell his sweet perfume, the perfume that you missed so much.

That hug lasted exactly two minutes and forty-three seconds. Your breath stopped for two seconds. Your heart beat seventy-eight times a minute. For two minutes and forty-three seconds your mind was blank. Your only thought was to focus on the feeling of comfort you felt being in Yoongi’s arms once again after not seeing him for so long.

No.

It wasn’t ‘so long’.

You knew perfectly well how long it had been.

Ninety-two days, five hours, thirty minutes and two seconds contained a profound eternity of fear and longing.

It didn’t matter. Finally you were in Yoongi’s arms. Finally you were being welcomed by Yoongi’s tenderness. Finally you were being touched by Yoongi’s affection. Finally you were with Yoongi – that was all that mattered.

But, after two minutes and forty-three seconds, Yoongi broke the hug and looked at you, his brown eyes always shining, the smile that only you gave him beautifying his face.

You trembled because, looking at Yoongi now, you remembered why you had met at that moment, without giving Yoongi any time to rest.

Yoongi wanted to talk to you.

“So? What do you want to tell me?”

“I missed you so much,” was all Yoongi said to you, cutting off your question, your reasoning, leaving you looking at him in shock, completely confused by what he told you. “I missed you so, so much.”

You stood there staring at him. You repeated those five words to yourself in total disbelief, confused with what was happening, with what could happen after those words from Yoongi. “You… You missed me?”

“I know you like to count,” Yoongi smiled wistfully, blinking with each word, looking at you with tenderness and a lot of… love? “But I also know that you like being with me. I thought it was more… special… to tell you… in pers…. Nevermind. It’s stupid.”

Yoongi let out a weak laugh and you waited exactly four seconds before answering him, your voice coming out in a slurred, shaky, shy thread.

“No. It’s not stupid.”

Because it was true.

Those five words had a different impact when said in person and you never realized it. In ninety-two days, five hours, thirty minutes and two seconds. In thirty hours of calls exchanged with Yoongi. In thirteen letters written with Yoongi. In two thousand, one hundred and thirty-four messages with Yoongi. In three months you never realized that Yoongi never, not once, said those five simple words to you.

I missed you so much.

Yoongi smiled fondly, a light and shy shade of pink appearing on his cheeks when he, very unsure of the situation, slowly touched your hand for exactly two seconds.

And you smiled back, slowly opening your fingers and waiting a second for him to intertwine his fingers with yours.

ㅤㅤ♡ feedback is appreciated ♡

[crabdrabbles]

Hiii Crab so happy to see you write outside of our rants/idea chats and my fellow delulu cod enjoyer! Would love to request Platonic!141 + Reader (sorry if this is long and somewhat confusing lol). You can do headcanons, drabble or whatever you comfy for. An idea that popped in my head kinda semi personal: Civ or 141! Reader though has parents and family is the reader is quite something else. Reader despite having somewhat normal upbringing still feel empty; they shouldn't be feeling this numb and empty deep inside of them. The reader craves the love that they give but couldn't or lack of receiving it back, though they don’t expect it or selfishly want it. Just someone who understands them even in their deepest darkest secret or flaw then boom cue the task force 141 unexpected yet welcoming to their life and maybe the one that the Reader can lean and let them be vulnerable on (finally).  

Take your time on doing this Looking for to your other writing genuinely -Cee, your fellow Soap delulu

GN!Reader & 141 (Mostly Price)

Warnings: Slight angst Ships: None. A/N: This absolutely ran away from me and I do not at all regret it, hope you enjoy, Cee!!! Words: 3549

Almost your entire life had been a cycle of self doubt that also started to churn and twist into self-hatred. You blamed yourself for the feelings. Afterall, you had a relatively normal upbringing. Two parents who were both present in your life, both of whom worked so that you all had food on the table and a roof over your head. A luxury that very few had.

The least you could do for them is follow the path that they wanted to put you on, no matter how much you didn’t want to do it. Because you loved them. 

So you excelled in your education, studying hard to try and impress your parents– to make them love you just as much as you loved them for everything that they did for you for your entire life. They wanted you to do all three sciences despite the additional workload it would add to your already stretched thin time? Then you would do them, take any extra classes after school in order to keep up with the work and not lag behind any of your peers. 

There was no such thing as a social life, either, not when you had homework and projects due. Friends were few and far between. Generally, most people left when they realised how hyper focused you were on your grades instead of social interaction. 

Did a classmate get a higher grade than you on a test? Well obviously you didn’t study hard enough, you just needed to dedicate more time to school even though school was all you had.

Did you get the highest marks in the class? Good, that was what was expected of you. Why didn’t you get full marks? You were better than that. You would do better because you loved your family. They showed it in their own way, of course, by encouraging you to study harder and get better grades. That was their love language, and yours was doing as they asked without a second thought. Because, at the end of the day, you were lucky to have an upbringing like you had. You would ignore the hollow void clawing at your chest because you had no right to feel that way– not when you had a roof over your head and parents that loved you(?).

It was when you came top of the class with full marks in a recent test, you came home with a beaming smile on your face and proudly showed the test to your parents. They took the papers from your hands, flipping through your work with critical eyes, before handing the papers back to you. 

‘Well done, we’re so proud of you.’ That was all you wanted them to say to you. That was all you needed to hear. To know that they loved you. 

‘Your penmanship is terrible.’ Was what you got instead. When you tried to point at the big 100% in green pen, you were waved away. ‘How are you expected to get a job when you write like a child? I’m surprised the teacher could even read your answers’. 

After several years of balancing a work and educational life and paving a way for a line of work that you didn’t want for parents you should have been grateful to have, you decided that enough was enough. 

No matter how hard you worked, no matter how high your marks were, they would never be proud of you. They would never return the love that you had for them until you nearly killed yourself trying. 

Spending your entire childhood, teenagehood and all of your current adulthood trying to please your parents predictably would damage one’s psyche. You had no friends, family who had never been devoted to you as you were to them, and high grades serving as the foundations to a prison-like future.

You dropped out of University. The only option forward that you saw was joining the army in the vain hope that the empty feeling inside of you would dissipate when you actually did something that you believed was more worthwhile than any University course. 

So you threw yourself into the military, working harder than all of the other recruits and training at every chance you could.

Your skills and determination became widely recognised amongst your peers. It took several years, but you eventually caught the eye of none other than Captain John Price. 

Impressed by your willpower that not many soldiers possessed, he offered you a place on the 141. 

Naturally, you agreed. You believed that being part of such a well renowned and respected team would finally beat back the lingering self doubt and emptiness that had curled itself around your heart.

It didn’t. If anything, it made it worse.

You were invited to join the 141, sure, but they had already established their own relationships between each other, had already bonded into a close knit group, and you were simply an outsider. Yes, you had been hand picked by Price himself, but that didn’t mean you were part of the team. They had their own inside jokes that they told to one another, leaving you feeling left out on most days.

And you felt… lacking around them. Ghost was stronger, Gaz was faster, Soap was smarter (he was a demolitions expert for crying out loud!), and Price was almost all of those rolled into one. They all complimented each other as a team. Meanwhile you felt like a spare tyre, a master of nothing and barely a jack of any trade. 

Despite how you felt about it all, they all called you ‘kid’. Regardless of age gaps between yourself and the rest of them, the nickname stuck mostly because you were the newbie. It came as a surprise that it wasn’t spat with vitriol as your peers before had, but it was in fact said with… an affection you couldn’t quite place.

You couldn’t ignore the hole in your chest that had been chipped at over the years, forming a gaping maw that no reassurances could really mend. 

Doubt lingered in the back of your mind, chipping away at your sanity as you prepared for the worst. How long would it take before they realised you weren’t good enough? 

You were so deep in your doubts that you didn’t realise that you had been distancing yourself even more than before until you overheard a conversation in Price’s office a few months down the line.

“-- they don’t belong on the team.” Gaz said as you passed Price’s office and your heart dropped. It was only the tailend of what he had been saying but you had gotten the gist. You wanted to stay, to listen to the conversation more and listen to what your team had to say about you, but you didn’t. What you were going to hear were likely things you had already told yourself right from the start. You keep walking on, ignoring the sting of tears burning in the corners of your eyes. The blood rushing in your ears prevented you from heating the rest of the conversation. 

“-- not only are they acting like they don’t belong on the team, but they’re acting like they’re not good enough.” Gaz continued, sighing in frustration.

“Maybe they need more time.” Ghost rumbled in reply, “Let them come out of their shell a little bit. Best not rush these things.” He was talking from experience, after all.

“Aye… maybe I can invite them out for drinks or sommat? I wouldn’t want them getting transferred before we got to know them a little more.” Soap had been the one that had tried the hardest to get close to you but had also tried to give you space so as to not suffocate you with his personality. 

“They won’t be getting transferred.” Price said with conviction, tapping his desk, “I chose them to be part of this team and this is where they’re going to stay. Let me have a word with them first.”

“Aye, sir.”

— — — — — —

You found yourself in the smoker’s shelter outside the main building. It was late enough that most of the soldiers had gone to bed or off to do their own things elsewhere so you doubted that you would be bothered for a little while. Just enough time for you to get your thoughts together. Your tears had dried in your eyes a few minutes ago, making them sting in the cold air. You didn’t need to look in your reflection to know that you probably looked like a wreck– entirely unbecoming of a soldier of your apparent status. 

You didn’t want to get transferred. Despite your distance with the 141, you didn’t hate them. Far from, actually, you held a great deal of respect for each and every one of them. It was just that you felt like you didn’t have your place amongst them. Not good enough to be associated with them. 

“Bit late to be out here in the cold, chuck.” A voice startled you out of your thoughts– one that you would recognise anywhere from the low rasp of a smoker's lungs. 

“Captain.” You croaked, wincing at the patheticness in your voice. There was a scuff of boots as Price came closer, leaning into your line of vision with a furrowed brow which only furrowed more as he took in your dishevelled appearance.

“Something on your mind?” He asked kindly, perching on the arm of the bench to give you some personal space. He left his question open, allowing you any chance to steer the conversation how you wanted to. There was no judgement for catching you at your lowest, no disgust at your red rimmed eyes— just polite understanding and a non verbal offer of pleasant company. 

“Why did you pick me, Captain?”

The question made him tilt his head, a frown beginning to tug on his features. You were worried you had insulted him.

“What brought this on, huh? Someone say something to you? Need me to have a word with them?” He straightened his back, scowling. Whilst you felt like you didn’t have a place in the 141, you could never deny the shield of protectiveness that Price held over his team. You remember in the back of your mind the day that some General who thought he was hot shit had the audacity to undermine Soap as nothing more than a ‘yappy dog’ when offered the Scot’s demolitions expertise. Price had appeared almost out of thin air and almost ripped the General a new one and things would have escalated into a fist fight had Laswell not intervened. It wasn’t as though Price didn’t think his own soldiers were capable of defending themselves, but he couldn’t care less about punishments aimed his own way over that of his Sergeants and Lieutenant. It was just a surprise that the protective streak extended over you, too, despite your distance to your teammates.

“I’ll sound stupid.” You mumbled, looking down at the ground as if expecting him to chastise you like a child. He didn’t.

“I’ve had my fair share of stupid over the years. Try me.”

“... and ungrateful.”

“I once had a guy punch me in the face two seconds after I took a bullet that would have killed him.” Price countered with a cut off chuckle once he remembered what was probably a mission long finished and cleared his throat. “C’mon, tell Captain what’s on your mind.”

And he sounded so sincere when he said it. Sounded like he genuinely wanted to hear what was going on in your head– that he was willing to waste what was already his important and limited time on someone like you. 

“Sir—”

“John.” Price corrected gently, crows feet more noticeable at the corners of his eyes scrunched up when he smiled, “We’re off duty, you don’t need to be so formal.”

“... John.” You echoed, finding that you really didn’t like saying that. It felt like calling your teacher by their first name in primary school or a classmate’s parent other than their last name. 

“Now, c’mon, tell me what’s on your mind. Might not be a therapist, but I’m better than bottling it up.” You wondered in the back of your mind how often Price did this. Sat with his soldiers and talked with them, offered them a listening ear to hear their vents and fears. You couldn’t help but feel honoured to be one of the few he willingly offered said time to. Your silence stretched on as you thought of the words to say, how to phrase what you wanted to say without sounding unappreciative of the opportunity that Price had offered you when he requested you join his team. 

“I don’t feel like I belong here.” You blurted once the silence had stretched on for long enough to border on uncomfortable. John’s face fell and you quickly realised how bad that sounded and rushed to correct yourself.

“No, no, wait, let me explain–” the Captain closed his mouth to allow you to continue speaking, but you could tell that it was hard for him. “I just… you could have anyone better than me, you know? I’m not a demolition expert. I’m… I’m not the best Sniper. I’m the slowest on the team, pretty sure I’m the weakest–”

“Nope.” Price interrupted, finally breaking the bubble of your personal space as he took a proper seat next to you on the bench but still respecting the distance enough to keep a few inches between you. “Nope, not lettin’ you say another word.”

“But–” 

“Nope.”

“Cap–”

“No.”

“But you could have anyone better—“

“But they wouldn’t be you.” He deflected easily. Far too easily. He leant back on the bench, crossing one leg over the other as he folded his arms over his chest. His fingers twitched and you could tell he was itching for a cigar but didn’t light one out of respect. 

“Alright, sure, I can ask Laswell to give me one of the best soldiers in the SAS and have them brought here tomorrow. They could be the best of the best, top of their class, better than you and maybe even better than me. But that’s a bit of a stretch.” He winked and earned a weak chuckle from you. “But they won’t be you. I don’t pick just on skill alone, kid, I pick based on how I feel people would fit into the team. I chose you because I knew that you’d be perfect.”

“As for not being a demolitions expert, let  me let you in on a little secret. I’ve no fucking clue about demolitions, either. And you don’t have to be on the team to be the ‘best Sniper’. You’re better than most, and that’s what’s important. As for being the weakest– did you or did you not bodily lift Gaz in a fireman’s carry during training the other week while he was trying to act as an injured civilian? Quite dramatically, might I add. Swooned and everything.”

You remembered that practice mission. Quite fondly, actually. Gaz was a civilian and , after being struck by a foam bullet from Soap, had dramatically screamed in agony and crumpled to the floor. When you had lifted him up and over your shoulders, the bastard continued to wail something along the lines of telling his non-existent spouse that he loved them and that his money be given to his equally non-existent children. Soap got in another shot to the man’s head, knocking off his cap in the process. Distracted as you were trying to haul your teammate out of the danger zone, you couldn’t help but laugh thinking about it now. 

“Last time I checked, Gaz is somewhat heavier than a sack of flour. Don’t tell him I said that, I’ll hurt his feelings.” Price was right, you supposed. You were more than capable of carrying Gaz over your shoulders, maybe even Soap or Price himself if the time called for it. Ghost you weren’t so sure about, though. The man was a walking mountain. 

“What I’m trying to say is that you have to give yourself more credit. You’re more than good enough to be on my team. I chose you for a reason.”

You… did not expect that sort of reassurance from Price. You had hoped for something along those lines, yes, but perhaps with a thrown in criticism or three. You waited for a ‘but’ that never came. The man snorted beside you and when you gave him a quizzical look, he waved off your concern.

“Shit, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think the next thing out of your mouth would be that your parents never hugged you as a kid.”

Your silence made him slowly turn his head towards you. It would have almost been comical if the situation wasn’t. His face crumbled and a wounded sound emerged from his throat.

“Sometimes they did!” You rushed to defend the people that raised you. “And they gave me food and shelter, clothes when I needed them–”

“Fucking hell. No, that’s what they’re supposed to do because they’re your parents. What about telling you that they were proud of you? That they loved you? I saw your records. Top of your class in not just your training but in your education, too. Triple sciences, mathematics, all of it. They had to be proud of you for that? My parents would have killed for me to get even a passing grade in my GCSEs.” You looked down at the ground and it was Price’s turn to have his eyes fixed on you. 

“They were proud of you, weren’t they?” He asked again, leaning forwards so he could catch your eye, his own filled with concern. “Kid?”

“I don’t talk to them much anymore.” 

Price inhaled sharply and he leaned back again, looking around and clenching his jaw as if fighting back his anger. His fingers twitched again. You admired his self control as he was still yet to grab a cigar that you knew he kept on his person. Usually in his breast pocket while his lighter was in his right pocket.

“Listen to me.” The Captain said, a more stern edge to his voice now that he had gathered his thoughts together. “Whatever your family said to you— how they treated you? Forget it. They showed you obligation. Not love. They didn’t want what was ‘best’ for you, they wanted bragging rights. What you’ve achieved– here, in bootcamp, in university and in school, is something to take pride in– no, no, look at me.”

Your gaze had trailed to the side so you avoided looking at your Captain in the eyes. He noticed and clicked his fingers to gain your attention back on him.

“Don’t look away from me because I want you to listen to what I’m gonna say and I want you to look at my face as I say it.” Your eyes met his blue ones, “You should be proud of everything that you’ve achieved in your life. I’m sorry that your family never told you that and I’m sorry that I haven’t said that enough to you since you joined 141.”

You opened your mouth to say something– to argue or disagree but he shook his head.

“No. It’s my turn to speak now. I’m proud of you. I am so proud of you. Everything you’ve done and everything that you’re yet to do, I will always be proud of you. You’re an exemplary soldier and I knew the moment I saw you that you would be a perfect addition to the 141 and you have proved me right time and time again. You belong on this team just as much as the rest of the boys. Do you understand?”

So many words– proud, proud, proud. That’s all you had wanted to hear for so many years from someone whose opinion mattered to you. You wanted to be seen and Price, this godsend of a man, had seen you and more.

“Kid, do you understand me?”

You nodded once and then realised that Price wouldn’t have been able to tell through your shaking. Tears blurred in the corners of your eyes and you nodded again, not trusting your voice in case it shattered. 

“What do you need from me?” Price’s voice was oh so soft, like he was talking to a frightened fawn. He could see how much his words had affected you and it clearly broke his own heart.

“A hug.” Your bottom lip wobbled and his face softened as he opened his arms, twitching his fingers to urge you closer.

“I can do that.” 

You leaned into him and he quickly wrapped his arms around you, drawing you in close. You could smell the lingering scent of his last cigar. The smell of his office and cleaning oil. You felt his chin on the top of your head and felt how his chest rumbled as he spoke.

“You’re part of the 141 whether you like it or not, alright? Me and the boys want you here for as long as you want to be.”

At that moment, for the first time in your life. You felt wanted. You felt appreciated and you felt seen.

have a request? send one in!

[sage-green-matcha]

MAROON - ETHAN LANDRY PT. 1 🍷🥀🔪

“The burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me, and how the blood rushed into my cheeks so, scarlet it was” - Taylor Swift

Content includes: mentions of murder, alcohol, pretty much it for this chapter!

Pt. 2 of Maroon | Pt. 3 of Maroon | PT. 4 of Maroon |

(A/n: This is the first chapter of a series! It’s gonna be ab 5-7 parts? I’m not sure yet. Hope you enjoy! )

<3

<3

<3

Your whole life you'd felt like an outcast, no friends, a broken family. You'd move around your entire childhood, you never had one place that you called home. You knew you couldn't get too comfortable anywhere you were.

That was until you moved to Woodsboro. You were there for your last two years of high school. Becoming friends with a group of "popular kids" but what you didn't know was that at the cost of having friends was death.

"Y/n, you okay?" Tara waved her hand in your face. "I- yea I'm fine" Your lips were agape, picturing the sight of the dead bodies you had seen in the past. You took it harder than everyone else. Sam kept trying to get you to go to therapy but you refused. You didn't think anything was wrong with you. But the situation changed how you looked at everyone and everything.

You couldn't trust anyone, nowhere was safe. You felt like there were eyes on you at all times. And you never dared to pick up any calls from unknown numbers. "I was asking what we should get for dinner? Everyone's coming over in a bit" "Oh uh, I'm fine with anything"

It was just a normal night to everyone else, but to you, the moon was the same as it was on that night. It was full, and it messed with your head. "Y/n...it might be last minute but do you wanna go to a party? It's Halloween themed and I know you've been wanting to wear your costume" She smiled at you.

She knew you would say yes, everyone loved when you were drunk. You were the same person from before the murders, the same funny, sweet, Y/n that gave no fucks. You let loose, you'd dance with anyone who asked and took whatever drink was handed to you.

"Yea, I'll get ready" "Nice" she squealed, leaving you alone. You kept your door open, finding your pink butterfly wing teeshirt, pairing it with a green mini skirt. It was simple enough but still cute, tying the shirt in the front to make the "slutty" aspect of Halloween come into play. You had a little flower crown, carefully placed butterflies all over it, a green bow in the back.

You did your makeup with care, adding glitter and gems to the sides of your eyes. "Hi Y/n...we're leaving soon" you responded to the unfamiliar voice, looking up quickly "Oh, hey Ethan...right?" He nodded. You'd be lying if you said you didn't think he looked silly. He was wearing a cardboard hat, grey tape around the edges to give it a "cleaned up" look.

"Yea...Ethan Landry" "And what are you supposed to be, Ethan?" He was really cute, he had a shy look in his eye, his cheeks covered in pretty roses blush color. "I'm a Knight" "Your armor isn't really shiny" he looked confused and kinda offended at the same time.

"I- I'm just kidding, sorry. I'll be out soon" You smiled up at him. He had pictured your smile in his mind and it was so much better than he had imagined. You were always quiet and serious in Econ class, but you looked so good with a smile on your face.

Luckily, Ethan would be getting to see you smile all night, the first one when you took your first shot of the night. "To the Fab 5, and! To Ethan, my roommate" "Chad ew, don't call us that" Tara cringed. "Yea! And Sams not here so it's not the full 5" you laughed. "Okay, okay whatever. Cheers guys" You took the small glass to your lips, burning liquid smoothly going down your throat, tossing away old memories and letting yourself go.

"Let's dance!" You dragged Tara to the dance floor also known as the living room, the smell of smoke filling your nose. "Does Sam know you're here?" "No!" She laughed and you shook your head. "You know she's gonna track you down, right?" "Nah, she won't find me"

You stumbled back to the kitchen, Ethan scrolling on his phone silently. "Hey, E...you drink?" You held up a bottle tauntingly and he shook his head. "Uh, no" "yea, I saw you spit out that shot" you smiled, turning back to the table of alcohol, pouring two shots of vodka. "Here" you handed him one, his shaky voice thanking you.

You liked Ethan, sure you'd only known him for a couple hours but he reminded you of yourself. Getting dragged into new friend groups where they don't quiet except you, feeling left out of jokes since he hadn't been here long. "How long have you been in New York?" You strike up a conversation, Anika stealing you back after the long chat. "Got eyes for Landry, huh?" "He's cute" you shrugged with a smile, taking a drink from the red solo cup in your hand. "Chads gonna freak"

Her eyes widened and so did her smile. It finally felt like you were trusting someone, opening up, and starting a conversation. You knew the next time you'd seen him he'd be confused by the lack of energy you'd have. In reality, the alcohol was what was giving you that boost.

You sat down next to the two girls, Mindy explaining her logic behind being at this party and the small chance of almost being killed again. "What about you Y/n? Aren't you a bit paranoid?" "Yeah, I guess. But I feel safe around you guys" you smirked. "Oh also Y/n, I don't Trust Ethan at all. He looks too innocent" "Isn't that the best part?" You laughed, Mindy with a disgusted look on her face.

"I'm gonna go stand in line for the bathroom" You blew kisses at them as you walked away, walking around to find the bathroom. You felt yourself lose balance as you walked, someone catching you as you felt liquid splash on your shirt. "Ah man, my shirt" You held onto the randos chest, trying to stay balanced. "Shit, Y/n...you okay?" You looked up with drunk eyes, Ethan looking down at you with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But my shirt...not so much" You frowned, blush rushing into your cheeks as you looked at him. You untied your Tee, the Maroon color splashed all over your top, making it look like someone had stabbed you. "Is that wine?" He shrugged. "I'm not sure, this girl just gave it to me" he smiled, helping you hold yourself up against the wall.

"Thanks for catching me, I'm not completely drunk, these heels are just uncomfortable to walk in" You slipped off the gold shoes, Ethan standing next to you uncomfortably. "Uhm, let's get you a new drink, yea?" "Oh, no no it's okay. I wasn't gonna drink it...uhm it's fine" he stumbled over his words quite a lot. You couldn't tell if he was just nervous or if this is just how he was all the time.

"Ethan! My man!" Chads hand slapped over the poor boy's shoulder. "Whoah...Y/n, you look like you just got attacked...again" "Very funny Chad" you glared at him. "Hey uh, not to interrupt this throuple but your services are needed" Anika turned the corner as Chad sighed. "I'm needed, I'll be back" "Throuple huh...I think I'd like to just have fun with you, E" You held back a laugh, walking away with a smile and an awkward wink.

Ethan was left a flustered and confused mess, following to find Chad. As for you, you'd finally find the bathroom. Looking at your wine-splashed shirt. It was a familiar view. But instead of blood, it was an innocent drink. You lifted your shirt, your fingers tracing over the two, deep knife scars.

You were lucky to only get two lousy scars, compared to others...you told yourself you didn't have room to complain. After all, you were alive, you made it through the night and you took it to your advantage.

You snapped out of your trance as you heard a familiar voice. Sam, oh shit. "Excuse me" You struggled to push through the crowded hall, bumping into Ethan once you got to the scene. You moving to stand by his side. "Oh shit" you cringed as Sam took her taser to the man's crotch.

"Sam? Are you fucking kidding me? You're stalking me now?" You And Ethan watched in confusion, the dude now on the floor. "Holy shit! It's that psycho girl!" The room filled with laughter, grabbing Ethan's hand as everyone chased Tara.

"Is this like a regular thing in this friend group?" The group walked in unison, you And Ethan behind everyone else. "Yea," you sighed, feet aching with your shoes in your hand. "I like your flower thingy...by the way" "Thanks, made it myself" you took it off your head, handing it to him before stealing the cardboard hat from off his. "Trade me?" "Oh uh...yea" he placed the crown on his head awkwardly, trying to fix his hair as you slipped his hat over your head.

"Looks cute on you" The pink flowers matched with his soft personality, and his flushed cheeks. You on the other hand looked very strange, getting looks from the people that were once staring at Sam and Tara.

"Tara..will you stop?" Sam struggled to catch up with her sister, Tara not giving a fuck. "I cannot believe you did that, you embarrassed me!" "That gut was a dick! He was gonna take advantage of you" "So?!" You rubbed underneath your eyes, knowing that they were about to get into an argument yet again.

It was always like this, they argue just to never make up and argue again. It's a continuous cycle that has never ended. "So?" Sam repeated in shock. "If I wanna hook up with an ass hole that's my decision?! It's my decision" "Okay.." Sam scoffed.

"It's not about you!... You..you were out of my life for 5 years and then you can't leave me alone for 5 minutes" Sams's only and most used "comeback" was that Tara wasn't going to the councilor, That she wasn't dealing with what happened to her. You wondered if she thought the same thing about you, you were worse than Tara with the subject, you had completely blocked out any idea of it with anyone. Sure everyone knew what happened in the back of their head, but it was for the best if no one mentioned it.

"Hey...guys come on" Tara ignored Chad, trying to get them to stop. Tara rambled, even you thought her words were a bit harsh. "You just follow me here and you won't let me out of your sight" "Just...trying to look out for you" You could tell Sam felt defeated, rethinking her actions. "I know...I know you are. But you can't do it for the rest of my life, you have to let me go"

Next thing you knew the smell of cherry coke filled your nose, a drink splashed all over Sam by a random girl. The two were already at it, Sam trying to aggressively go after her, Chad pulling her back. "The fuck is wrong with you?" "You know what you did!" "I didn't fucking do anything!"

You waved at Ethan to follow you, chasing behind Mindy and the rest of the group. "I'm so fucking tired of this!" Tara's eyes watered in frustration, Chad rubbed her back Anika and Mindy holding hands as they walked. You only now realized how alone you were. Sure you'd have some flirty moments with Mindy or Anika but they were purely platonic, you'd never had an actual partner.

"Y/n, I heard what you said to Ethan, not that drunk huh?" She laughed. "He knows I'm kidding...or not. Right E?" "What?" He caught up and you smiled to the ground. "You talked to my bro? Damn, I guess you two would make a good pair" Chad laughed. "No, I don't trust him. He's weird, he always stutters when he talks. He's definitely hiding something" Mindy scoffed.

"I'm right here..." "No, he's just like that with Girls, Man has never experienced female contact" Ethan rolled his eyes, sighing. Mindy also rolled her eyes, she was always stubborn, especially when she was convinced someone was dangerous. "Well I'm gay, so I don't know why he's scared of me" "Maybe cause you're really intimidating, Mindy" Tara turned back, a broken smile back on her face.

"You are...kinda really rude too" "Am not, your face is just annoying to look at" your eyes widened. "Okay you two, cut it out" You all finally got to the apartment, running into your room to take off the wet, uncomfortable shirt. You placed Ethan's hat on your bed, finding a long sleeve and pj pants to switch into.

"Hey, here's your thingy back" he knocked on the door, handing it to you. "Oh, thanks" you grabbed his hat off the bed, giving it back. "I- I think I'm just gonna take it all off, restricting" you agreed. "Yea...plus the party's already over" "I...I'm really sorry about your shirt...by the way" "It's fine, ill just order another one"

"Y/n, hey I think you're gonna wanna see this" Chad called from the living room, you And Ethan rushing to his voice. He called out to Sam who was downstairs, the two of you meeting in the living room in shock. "Cute boy...nice" Quinn smiled and you smirked.

You stared at the Tv, "Also found at the scene were various Ghost Face costumes..." you heart dropped to your ass, you could feel tears start to form in your eyes. "I'm not doing this shit again" you rushed to your room, Sam chasing behind you. "Y/n...Y/n come on we can leave, I'll get tara" "Guys! Wait no! Hold on! No wait, let's talk about this for a second" the two of you had already made your way to the kitchen, knifes in hand.

"This might not have anything to do with us" "Are you serious?" Sam asked. Great, another argument. But this time you sided with Sam. This definitely had something to do with all of you. "It's Halloween! Everybody's wearing masks" "Tara! Tara, this isn't a coincidence!" Your eyes were wide, looking at her trying to find where she found the audacity to say that.

"Tara...we knew him" you spoke up. "He was in one of our classes! We Barley knew him" She scoffed. "Chad, Mindy back us up here" your eyes creased, heart pumping as if you'd just run a marathon. "I mean it is a little bit..." "close to home..." Mindy finished his sentence. "Quinn! Your dad's a cop right? Can you call him and see what's going on? Before you make the dumb ass decision to abandon my college education, and flee the fucking state?" Everyone looked up at Quinn, her Phone to her ear as she called.

You froze as you felt your phone ring in your pocket. Everyone's eyes on you. You slowly took it out, looking at the contact. "Who is it?" You let out a small sigh of relief. "It's just Gale, probably excited about the new book opportunity" you held your face in your palms. "Why'd everyone just freak out when her phone rang?" "You gotta keep up My Dude" you felt your heart beat faster, holding back tears.

"Sam, my dad wants to talk to you" you rushed to your room, closing the door behind you. You fell against it, tears spilling out. You thought you'd finally escaped it, but now your progress was ruined, you were back at square one. It was only bound to get worse, this was just the beginning.

[oh2z]

roommates. a jebe series

part pre one two three

summary: moving in with your (really attractive) uni friends..nothing too crazy can happen, right?

contents: plenty of suggestive/sexual content ! mdni read and tune in at your own discretion !!

word count: 2.1k (yay^^)

it was your fourth year of uni and you just transferred schools after a little incident happened last year that forced you to move. it was like a fresh start-- except you still had to go to class. (lol no shit)

you were angrily storming toward your first class of the day since you had already taken this class but of course, the credits didn't transfer so you had to retake it. huge waste of time.

you sat down in the closest desk to the door and tossed your bag on top of it, leaning back against the chair and crossing your arms in annoyance. you felt some eyes on you so you glanced over and caught a boy looking at your curiously. you normally would have snapped at him for staring, but he was pretty hot-- his messy brown hair fell over his forehead in his cute, slightly overgrown bowl cut and smiley eyes contrasted nicely with the sharp cut of his jaw and his large hands. you slid your eyes over him top to bottom, letting them linger on the way his shirt stretched across his shoulders. you looked back up at his face to meet his gaze and his eyes widened briefly before he looked away quickly, a little blush creeping onto his cheeks. you turn to front wordlessly, looking away from his with a small smirk on your face.

you had shown up to class hoping that this professor didn't have a strict attendance policy, and to your luck, he does. fuck. you rolled your eyes as your classmates passed the sign-in sheet around, and zoned out for the rest of class.

when the class was over you grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder and headed for the door. you had forgot to get coffee beforehand, so you decided to head to the nearest cafe. you felt like someone was following you as you headed down the sidewalk and you threw a glance over your shoulder to see that same guy from class a few steps behind you. his big eyes widened when you looked at him and he looked away from you but you narrowed your eyes and stopped walking, waiting for him to catch up.

he looked like he was panicking, not sure if he should stop or pass you. "you following me?" you asked, tilting your head.

"no! i just... wanted to go get coffee before my next class," he said quickly.

you hesitated a moment, suddenly feeling silly for being on the offensive. "oh. i was going to get coffee too..i'mm kinda new to town and i get anxious in unfamiliar places-- should we have coffee together?" you offered. he blinked in surprise.

"oh! yeah okay sure!" the two of your began walking again, next to each other this time, and headed toward the coffee shop. you each brought your own drink and then you sat down together at a small table. you couldn't help but judge him a little for getting a fancy blended sweet coffee drink, while you had a black iced americano.

"so are you a music production major too?" he asked, sipping his drink.

"no, i'm taking this class as an elective. i'm kind of annoyed actually-- i already took it but the credits didn't transfer. i mean it'll be easy now, but it's still a bit annoying," you complained.

"oh. that sucks." he replied, frowning. you shrugged.

"it's whatever. you know what would make it better though?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"what?" he asked, sipping from his straw and blinking at you innocently.

"if you would write my name on the sign-in sheet for me if i'm ever not there," you replied sweetly.

"we're not supposed to do that though..."

you pouted, looking at him through your lashes and slipping a hand up to toy with the neckline of your shirt. "oh...i guess you're right. thanks anyway."

"i mean-" he said quickly. "it's just that i would have to know what your name was first before i could write it."

you smirked, then pulled out a small piece of paper and wrote down your full name, jotting your phone number under it. then you stood up and handed it to him. he read your name and then looked up at you when he noticed your number. he tilted his head as he read it again.

"your name is--"

"don't call me that," you cut, pointing at the paper. "i go by y/n."

"okay! y/n it is" he said quickly, his cheeks going pink. you had to stop yourself from continuing the conversation-- you were going to be late to your next class. and so you tore your attention away from him somewhat begrudgingly.

"text me your name," you said as you turned away, flashing him a smile over your shoulder as you left the shop. he watched you go with his lips parted slightly in shock and then quickly pulled out his phone, typing your number in and shooting you a text right away.

unknown: hi :0

me: who is this?

unknown: oh sorry lol

unknown: i was supposed to text u my name

unknown: it's taerae!

me: cool :)

you saved his number and then silenced your phone, not really caring if he had said something else after that at the moment. you shoved your hands in your pockets and headed to your next class.

--

you were sitting in the coffee shop working on an assignment from another class when your phone went off.

taerae: hey u comin to class?

you frowned at your phone. who the hell is taerae? you thought. you glanced at the clock, remembering which class your were skipping. oh! music production boy! a smile crept to your face at the thought of him again.

me: no i can't make it today

taerae: did you want me to sign the paper for you?

me: yes please!

you set your phone down and went back to work. about an hour later you felt someone standing over you and you pulled you headphones off and looked up. there was the boy from that class. you blinked at him.

"yes?" you asked. he sat down, sipping his fancy coffee and frowning his cute, pink lips pouting around his straw.

"you said you couldn't make it to class. i thought you were sick or something," he mumbled.

"yeah...what i meant was...i'm not going back to that class. it's a waste of my time." you mumbled back, returning your gaze to your laptop.

"oh. well...the professor assigned homework." he said, looking at you.

you groaned. "ugh, seriously?" you complained as he opened his backpack and pulled out his notes. he took a picture of where he had written down the assignment and set it to you.

"here you go " he said with a little smile.

"y/n-ie" you replied absentmindedly as you opened your phone to check the picture. he perked up a bit at the thought of calling you in a cuter way.

"i can call you y/n-ie?" he asked cutely. you looked up from your phone at him, unable to keep yourself from smiling a little at his happy face.

"hm? oh yeah. you're my music production class buddy, of course you can" you said. he grinned back.

"okay! well um...i'll see you later y/n-ie"

-

you were lying on your bed at home, tuning out the sound of your roommate slamming doors by cranking up the volume on your headphones. you had just finished up the assignment for your music prod. class and you sighed, thinking you had better go to class and hand it in the next day. unless...

me: hey

taerae: hi y/n-ie!!

me: can we meet up before class tmr? wanna see u :3

taerae: ofc just lmk!!

you were so tired and your roommate was really stressing you out. your really hated this apartment, but it had been the only thing available when you moved to town. you sighed and went to bed.

--

you sat at the cafe sipping your coffee and staring at your laptop, feeling stressed about your course load and your living arrangement. you had no way to get your stresses out these days, considering you knew no one in town and that your favorite stress relief activities were best done...with others.

you eyes slide to the door when taerae came into the shop, accompanied with another boy today. he was the same height as taerae, and something about his perfect skin, messy blonde hair, and sleeper-built body screamed daddy. the smiley brunette boy made you feel dominant, but his handsome friend made you feel small and as the two of them approached you, you shook your head against the warring sides of yourself, trying not to get overwhelmed.

they were talking as they came in and taerae seemed to look at his friend in awe, hanging on every word out of the man's mouth. taerae said something that made the other laugh and it took up his whole face. his huge smile make his eyes scrunch and flush appear in his round cheeks. it was nice to look at, and it seemed contagious as taerae smiled as well. he gave you a little wave and his friend glanced at your curiously before they got drinks. once they both had coffee-- taerae with his usual fancy one and his friend with a plain cup, they came to your table.

"hi y/n-ie! why did you want to meet?" taerae asked cheerily, sitting down next to you. his friend took the seat across from you and you couldn't help but glance at him only to find his dark eyes on your as well. something about the man's cutting gaze made you shy and you looked away quickly. digging in your backpack to avoid looking at him.

"i...wanted to give you this," you said. pulling out your assignment and handing it to taerae.

he looked at it for a second and then undersood. "oh, you want me to hand it in for you?" he seemed like he wasn't thrilled about the idea, so you turned your full attention to him, slipping your hand casually onto the table and placing your fingers lightly over his. he looked up at your in surprise at the tough, and you blinked your eyes at him quickly.

"please?" you asked him sweetly, letting your lips pout into a tiny frown as you did so. he swallowed and looked away.

"y-yeah sure," he murmured, a tiny blush on his soft cheeks as he took the assignment from you and tucked it into his notebook. your eyes glanced to his friend again and you caught him smirking and looking slightly impressed at your actions as you slowly retracted your hand from taerae's, trying to keep yourself from blushing under his gaze.

"thank you" you said, smiling.

"of course y/n-ie"

-

after class, you were still at the cafe, scrolling through your phone and ignoring the paper you were attempting to write. taerae shuffled back into the shop, looking annoyed.

"hey," you greeted him, setting your phone down. "what's up?"

"the professor assigned more work today. and i don't think i did the first one right anyway. i'm not getting this class," he mumbled, pouting.

"let me see." he passed you the notes and you pursed your lips. "i guess i could help." i remember this from last semester."

he perked up. "really?? do you want to come over and go over it with me this evening?"

he was cute. you smiled to yourself. "yeah, sure bub" you said.

he blinked at the affectionate name and then looked down shyl. he suddenly seemed to remember something. "oh yeah- um. i have six roommates so. sometimes my house is a little loud," he told you, cringing.

"well i live in a tiny apartment on campus and my roommate is literally crazy. so whatever you've got can't be that bad." you looked at him for a moment, remembering how flustered his friend had made you earlier. "hey that guy from this afternoon...."

"oh matthew? he's one of my roommates! he said you were cute when we left," he said wiggling his eyebrows at you. you felt yourself blush immediately and taerae burst into giggles at the sight. then he frowned, "i think you're cute too," he pouted.

you scoffed, your blush immediately fading. "you don't get to call me cute, you're the cute one" you told him, winking. now it was his turn to blush.

"w-wait you think i'm cute?" he asked, his eyes wide.

adorable, you thought. "whatever. text me your address." you said, right before trying to refocus on whatever you were just working on.

[fiend-shaped]

Teens sleep headcanons

Can you tell what im supposed to be doing rn lol

Taylor:

-Taylor has to build himself an exosuit of pillows in order to be comfortable (hence the exorbitant number of bodypillows)

-he has a large bed but always presses himself into the corner

-falls asleep very easily even when he's trying to stay awake

-one christmas morning when he was 8 Cassandra found him asleep in the living room with a sword

-when she woke him he cried because he'd missed his chance to challange santa to single combat and would have to wait another year to try again

-morning person, somehow in a non-obnoxious way

Normal:

-Normal always kicks off his blanket

-he moves around a lot and has fallen off of his bed on more than one occasion

-when he was 10 he begged his parents to let him have a bunk bed but they were justifiably worried he'd hurt himself

-he always has trouble falling asleep but once he's out it's very hard to wake him

-he tried using an alarm for a while but it didn't matter how loud or long it was, he always slept through it

-usually Hero has to wake him and more often than not she just drops a cold washcloth on his face

-pretends very hard to be a morning person

Scary:

-Scary tried to make herself sleep in a coffin pose but it didn't work

-She sleeps with socks on

-one time she had a dream where Terry Junior had been her dad since she was born

-after that she didn't really talk to him for about 2 days 

-when she was younger (before tj) she always made sure to arrange her stuffed animals so that they would all be equally close because she didn't want any of them to feel left out

-is genuinely not a morning person but also plays it up quite a bit

Lincoln:

-Lincoln has to be against a wall or he has a hard time sleeping

-he keeps his windows wide open, even when it's cold outside

-no problem falling asleep but usually wakes up multiple times a night

-is extremely comitted to making the football asmr thing work (at this point it kinda does but for the first few months it kept him awake and he just really didn't wanna admit it)

-is basically a morning person but not used to waking up for school yet

Bonus:

-Hermie has insomnia

-when he can't sleep he lies in the dark and 'runs lines'

-sometimes it's movies or plays he likes, sometimes it's rehearsed conversations and monologues

-when he can't remember a line (or hasn't thought of it yet in the conversation/monologue case) he repeats the last thing he said over and over until he figures out what comes next

-as part of his deep cover operation to steal the mascot costume he conviced his parents that he'd started taking a special morning class at chaparral. He needed to do this because his father always dropped him off on the way to work and he needed enough time to take the bus over to san dimas high in time for actual school to start. (Yes, this means that he hasn't been attending high school for the better part of a year and that his parents have somehow not noticed this)

-has to get up so so early for this stupid fucking scheme why is he doing this to himself i don't even care about chaparral high (internal monologue of the unfortunate compulsive scammer)

-tries (read: fails) not to nap throughout the day in hopes it'll fix his sleep schedule

[formulawonu]

mingyu & dinner

summary: dinner with best friend!mingyu. you know him and he knows you – except for the little secret you both are hiding from each other :')

a/n: this is -kinda- related to this short blurb but it could also be read independently hdusikfjh i’ve been thinking a lot abt this dynamic!!!! and this is annoyingly fluff. the tension in the room whew is it hot in here or is it just me??? mingyu attending the louis vuitton show threw me over the edge

wc: 709 

tagging @friedparadiseprincess <3 feel free to ask to get tagged in future works/send in requests!

“open wide.” 

your eyes narrow at your best friend from across the table. he’s attempting to feed you part of the food he’s ordered with a cheesy grin on his face. he knows you get flustered whenever he attempts any kind of public display of affection with you. he finds it endearing.

“kim mingyu, i am not three years old.” you say, making an excuse. 

“come on, baby, open up.” 

his words go directly to the pit of your stomach, making you shift uncomfortably in your seat. 

“can’t you put it on my plate like a normal person?”

“no.” 

“then i don’t want your food.” 

you’re lying, and you both know it, because you had spent the last five minutes glancing at mingyu’s plate longingly. he does not break eye contact with you as he feeds himself the spoonful of food he was offering you a few seconds ago. he dramatically shuts his eyes, letting out a near-pornographic moan as he swallows. you reach over and slap his arm, glancing around the quaint restaurant to see if anyone heard him. 

his eyes fly open, laughing as he watches you hide your face in embarrassment. “see, it wouldn’t have been me making that sound if you just took my offering.” mingyu doesn’t know why, but he loves getting different reactions out of you. he would make a fool out of himself any day just to see what you’d do. he wasn’t afraid of looking stupid or managing his reputation when he was with you – he knew you would accept him for who he was. just as you always have. just as you are right now. “it would’ve sounded better coming out of you.”

you grimace at how he inches his face closer to you, smirking because he knows you won’t retaliate. you break eye contact, sighing as you shove another spoonful of your food into your mouth. “you’re frustrating, kim mingyu.” you hope he doesn’t see the small tinge of pink that has colored your cheeks at the near proximity of him. 

you hear mingyu chuckle then see a portion of his food getting moved onto your plate. “eat up,” he casually says. “i actually ordered this one because i knew you were choosing between this or the one you ordered.” you murmur a ‘thank you’ back, heart fluttering at his thoughtfulness.

he likes watching you – in general – and he’s never done anything to hide it. “stare any longer and we’ll end up switching bodies.” you say, taking a sip of your wine. you’d told mingyu a million times in the past that it wasn’t nice to stare at people and each time he would reply saying he only liked staring at you. he simply leans forward and continues staring at you, a small smile on his face. 

“i don’t mind switching bodies, but i just like looking at you.” 

“i know.”

“actually, i think i just like you.”

“i know- eh?”

he leans back in his seat after watching you, smiling. “of course i like you. who else would put up with you?” he says, raising his own glass of wine to toast you. you clink your glass with his. 

“mingyu, you’re stuck with me whether you like it or not,” you say, taking another sip and emptying out your drink. “we’re both stuck to each other. we made that clear ever since we skipped class that one time and got caught skipping.” he smiles at the memory. you were having a bad day at school and all he knew was he wanted to make it better for you – whatever it took. he had grabbed your hand and walked straight out of school. it makes you smile whenever you think of how silly you two had been then, thinking everything would be okay as long as you two were together. 

mingyu finishes the rest of his wine in one big sip, setting his glass down and getting up. “and i would do it again.” he says, holding out his hand for you to take. you knew leaving the restaurant didn’t mean going home yet. there was always room for dessert with mingyu. 

“and i would too.” you reply, grabbing his hand and walking out of the restaurant with a smile on your face. 

[skyteller143]

TILL DEATH DO US PART (1) • C.STURNIOLO

PARTS: 2

warnings: swearing, school😔💔

authors note: kinda shit but yk it gets better js stick around

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summary: the most popular girl in school being known as a goody-too-shoes and the captain of the schools hockey team end up sitting with each other in class, she hates him and he hates her. until one day everything changes.

but remember, not every story has a happy ending.

enjoyyy

——————————————————

People wish to be popular. They wish for the crazy parties and all the “friends” that comes with it. But this makes me wonder do they wish for the secrets that are kept, do they wish for the bitchy glances that you get given simply because you walked past. do they wish for the eyes that are always on them.

But it’s clear that they don’t care about that. they care about the attention and so called fame that they desire so desperately they’d practically trade their soul for it.

it’s the first day back from summer break and i woke up at practically sunrise just to make sure that the stares aren’t as judgemental. doing my hair and makeup, picking out about 5 outfits before finding a good one. gosh sometimes i wish i could trade lives with someone who wasn’t a cheerleader and i could go to school wearing sweatpants, not worrying about being watched.

my outfit was a skimpy black skirt matched with a white crop top and a black puffy jacket. i straightened my hair and did my normal makeup.

since it was the first day back my schedule had changed meaning i was in all new classes. great.

when i got to school i met up with my best friend ivy and we caught up about what happened over the summer.

“yeah and then vacation boy asked for my snap” ivy rambled on “butttt i had to turn him down because he was like 25 but he was so fine” she giggled leaning on me a little as we stood at our lockers. Me and ivy had been friends since middle school we always had our lockers next to each other. well that was until this year.

“oh our lockers are one apart” ivy mumbled opening her locker. “huh” i looked down at the paper i had been given “oh”.

“bummer i wonder who is gonna be our locker buddy this year, maybe they could like be our new best friend!” she jumped excitedly. “yeah maybe” i laughed at her, she looked like a kid in a candy store. “ok we’ll i gotta get going meet me here at lunch” she walked backwards facing me for my reply. “yep! of course” i laughed.

i reached into my bag getting out a few books and pictures to put in my locker. when i was finished i headed to class. i sat in the back corner and put my headphones in. it’s too early for this. i made sure to sit by myself so i wouldn’t have to deal with some weirdo yapping my ear off for an hour and forty minutes. since it was the first lesson we were just meant to be meeting new people and interacting. however i already knew everyone in here so what’s the point?

about five minutes in everyone had stopped talking and the teacher was explaining what we would be doing this year when the door swung open and some boy walked in. i honestly couldn’t care less who he was so i continued jotting down notes when he sat down. next to me. i looked up to see who it was and rolled my eyes. of course the captain of the hockey team decided ‘oh yeah let’s sit right next to the only cheerleader in the room, she’ll love that.’

he huffed as he leant in his seat, crossing his arms. i looked at him to see he looked pissed off and i noticed that every other seat was full. oh.

i turned my music up and just kept to myself when he taps my shoulder. “what you listening to?” he asks. “music” i reply dryly hoping he’d just leave me alone. “no wayyy” he smirks “let me listen” he puts his hand out as if i’m a dog.

“first off, no. second off why would i share with you i don’t even know you” i rolled my eyes. “oh princess everyone knows me and you definitely do being cheer captain and all” he smirks at me. “oh yeah Chris i’m in love with you here have my airpod” i say sarcastically “oh come on just give it” he begs like a child, “i know you secretly love me” he laughs. “the only thing i know is that your ego is bigger then you dick baby” i pout at him and out my airpod back in. that shut him up.

after class i went back to my locker to meet ivy and i see that our new locker buddy is there. “hey” i call out to see who it was. “what do you want” they reply.

you’ve gotta be kidding me.

“why are you just standing there looking like an idiot, did you want something?” he asked clearly still annoyed about earlier. “no i was going to my locker” i mumble.

after about like 30 seconds of silence i speak up. “soo, this your locker?” what a stupid question.

“noo, i’m just putting my stuff in here for someone else” he reply’s sarcastically.

“jeez don’t get your titties in a twist, was just asking” i laugh slightly trying to ease some tension.

he slams his locker door and leans down so he’s closer to my face. “at least i have some” he smiles and walks away.

cunt.

——————————————————

feisty

——————————————————

taglist (if you wanna be added js comment and i’ll add you): @lacysturniolo @breeloveschris

——————————————————

[brooooswriting]

Hello once again so,

Vada Cavell being high cuz of the whole shooting situation and R finds her past out on the sidewalk takes her home and takes care of her.

ofc if you don't feel like writing this for any reason

delete this

have a good day <3

Hi can I request Vada Cavell x reader where they both get high together and it leads to something more. Thank u I hope you have a amazing day

Higher than life

Vada Cavell x reader

Tw: weed, overdose, mentions of school shootings

You were on your way home from school after another dreadful day, teachers who tried to get the work done while ignoring the obvious pain of the students, consuls who tried to keep the moral up, security randomly checking peoples bag and students anxiously and depressed sitting in class counting down the seconds. For almost all of them it was the first shooting, it wasn’t for you. You moved here a year ago as your parents constantly had to move for their job and before you went here you were in schools in Texas and Ohio (just took random ones, please don’t come for me) where you were involved in shootings.

It still hurt, it still made you angry and mad and it still made you anxious but you knew how to cope with it, better than most. Sure Nick took his trauma and made something out of it but it may be him and around 10 other people while the rest is going down.

You sat in your car at a red light, staring out the window as your fingers drummed against your thigh completely out of space. At least until you saw someone familiar, Vada Cavell, sitting on the sidewalk starring into the sky. You thought for a moment before your turning signal went on and you took a right turn to hold in front of the girl.

Vada wasn’t quite the person you thought of becoming friends with, not that she wasn’t pretty and nice but there was just something about her that made you keep your distance at first. But in the end she just woed you with her humor and those damn pretty eyes, which was how you became friends. After the shooting you guys kinda drifted, just like she did with Nick, as she was always hanging out with Mia and while you actually really liked Mia you couldn’t disagree with Nick. The blond girl wasn’t a really good influence on Vada at the moment, it makes you sound prude. But while you weren’t really against some alcohol and weed you just knew that they weren’t a way to deal with the trauma.

“Vada, what are you doing here?” You asked as you stopped the car causing the brunette to tilt her head towards you. By now you could see her blood shot red eyes and the drowsy look on her face, she was barely responsive which made you hurry out of your car. “Vada, come on, get up” you told her as you tried to get her to keep her eyes open. After another two tries you just picked her up and sat her in the passenger seat of the car before lightly slapping her cheek. She grumbled a bit before slightly opening her eyes, “what did you take?!” You were quick to ask as it was obvious that she wouldn’t stay awake for long. “A lot of weeeeeeeeed” she giggled closing her eyes again, “how much Vada!” You buckled her in before she even answered. “Like… two and a half joints?”

You rolled your eyes as you closed her door, it wasn’t enough for her to have serious consequences. She’d probably throw up in the next couple of hours and then have a terrible headache but nothing more.

You sat behind the wheel thinking about where you would bring her. You couldn’t bring her home like this, you knew her mom and she would make such a big deal out of it. So you decided to bring her to your home, your parents were gone for the next two days anyway.

The drive was rather silent as the small girl next to you was still asleep and you were deep in your head. Normally driving cleared your head but right now you only wanted to arrive to take care of her, seeing her like this scared you, you were scared to lose her even though she wasn’t really yours.

When you arrived at your home you didn’t even try to wake her as you picked her up again and carried her into your bed room where you laid her under your blanket after you took her shoes off before sitting in the living room. After you read a bit you decided to cook something as you knew she’d get the munchies after weed, she always did.

So you balanced cooking and looking after her every 5 to 10 minutes to make sure she was still fine and breathing. It was crazy how many lives on idiot with a gun could ruin and how idiotic it was that this was even possible in America. Every student or teacher you saw that was shaking anxiously broke your heart.

You were nearly done with the pasta and the dessert when you heard some movement in your room, someone running to the bathroom to be more precise. Turning off the stove, you walked to the bathroom to find your friend laying on the ground with her head next to the toilet. “You alright?” You asked as you sat down next to her, taking a bit of paper to clean her mouth. “‘M great” she mumbled sarcastically causing you to smirk. “That’s what you get from overdosing on weed, idiot” you pulled her into a small hug which she gladly accepted as she leaned back into you. “Why don’t you take a shower? You can get some of my cloths and I’ll give you a toothbrush and then you can eat something” you suggested causing her to whine and shake her head. “Nooo, too tired”

You were and at the same time weren’t surprised. She just slept for like 3 hours but at the same time her body was fighting the overdoses. “How about you brush your teeth and eat a bit? Your body needs the energy and then you can sleep again, huh?” You were comfortingly rubbing her back as she kept whining and squirming. “Nooo” you finally had enough as you sat her onto the closed toilet lit and grabbed a toothbrush to brush her teeth yourself. Sure, it was a lot more complicated than her doing it herself but at least it was done.

After you were done brushing her teeth you made her walk into the bedroom while you got her food. “Here, eat at least a bit before you fall asleep again” your tone was strict causing her to pick up the fork and start picking at the food. “You still remember my favorite food” she drowsily smiled clearly showing that there was still weed in her system. “Of course I did, just because you forgot about me the last weeks doesn’t mean I forgot about you” you were truthful, while she didn’t reach out or answered you, you were constantly thinking of how she felt and if she was okay. Her smile disappeared as she guiltily kept eating.

Once she was done you went to put the food away until a hand on your wrist stopped you. “Can you stay please? I don’t like being alone” the look in her eyes broke your heart, so you sat down the plate on your nightstand and laid next to her. Her arms immediately wrapped around you, her head landed on your chest and one of her legs was over yours. You couldn’t deny the fact that you liked the way this felt. Which was probably why it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep too.

At least until Vadas phone started to blow up, texts and calls from her family, you completely forgot about them. Unsure of what to do, you stared at her phone. You could a) wake her up and make her answer the phone, but she was way to tired and high for that and b) was something you haven’t quite figured out.

Luckily you didn’t have to figure it out as your phone started to ring, your display showing the younger Cavells name. “Amelia, hey” you carefully whispered into the phone trying not to wake the girl next to you. “Y/n, do you know where Vada is? She didn’t come home, she isn’t answering her phone, everybody is freaking out” her breath was quick and her voice was unsteady, it was clear that she had been crying. “Oh, I’m so sorry. She’s with me, we fell asleep and forgot to text, her phone is probably on silent. Tell your parents that she’s with me, safe and that I’ll bring her to school tomorrow alright?” Your voice was kind and reassuring. “Okay, thank you. I’m sorry for spamming your phone” you grinned as the girl spoke. “No problem, I’ll see you around ok?”

After you hung up you decided to clean the kitchen before watching some Tv in the living room. The time neared 1 am when you decided to go to bed too, which put you up for another ultimatum. A) sleep next to her, like she asked you before or b) sleep in the guest room. You didn’t quite want to sleep next to her as she was still high when she asked you to do so and you felt like it wasn’t fair as long as she didn’t know how you felt, but you also didn’t wanna leave her alone so you settled into the arm chair next to the bed.

You woke up around 5:45 am to get ready before Vada woke up. You showered, brushed your teeth, did your hair, packed your bag, then put some painkillers and a water next to Vada before starting breakfast.

While you were cooking with your music blasting through the house, the brunette finally woke up. It took her a moment to realize where she was but as soon as she did notice that it was your house she relaxed. She was also more than happy to see the painkillers as she immediately chugged them.

You didn’t hear her walking into the kitchen nor did you notice her standing next to you until you bumped into her, nearly letting the pan fall. “Jeez, you scared me” you said as you put the pan down before turning towards her causing her to mumble a ‘sorry’. “How’s your head?” She groaned as an answer which made you grin, “well, I don’t wanna repeat myself, but that’s what you get for overdosing. Now sit down so you can eat breakfast before getting ready” you told her as you put a plate on the table before sitting down in front of her. “Thank you. For everything, not just for breakfast” her voice was small and quiet.

“Vada, we still have to talk about this” you started and her eyes immediately lowered. “I know that this shit is crazy and I get that it fucks with you, but drugs are not the solution. If you feel so terrible than come talk to me or talk to Nick but don’t overdose. You know how scary it was to find you completely out of it on a sidewalk after not hearing from you for over a week?” You were rambling, you knew that, but you just couldn’t stop yourself. Yeah, the situation wasn’t as bad but that doesn’t mean that it’s okay. “Don’t start this y/n” her voice suddenly turned cold and serious which made you flinch for a second. “Don’t start what?” You were genuinely confused. “Don’t talk to me or scold me like I’m a child” she was mad, more about taking it so far and nearly making you cry than about you scolding her but she didn’t know how to say that.

“I’m not talking to you like a child, you’re grown but that doesn’t make what you’re doing okay” you tried to keep your calm as your eyes watered even further. “You’re right! I’m an adult so I can do whatever I want” you scoffed. “Look, if you wanna hurt me by choosing Mia over me, while I’m pretty sure you know I’m in love with you, that’s fine but if you wanna hurt me, your friends, your family by overdosing then I’ll drive you to Mia. If that’s your plan, then keep away from me and Amelia, she doesn’t deserve this” you stood up and walked into the guest room slamming the door shut.

Vada has never hated anyone more than herself in this moment, how could she hurt you like this? You saved her yesterday, and she only hurt you. She loved you, she did since the first time she met you but she was too scared to do anything and now that she had an opportunity, she fucked it up.

“Y/n, please open the door” there was no movement on the other side, even after the third try. “Look, I’m sorry alright? I don’t know why I did it and it certainly isn’t my plan to do it again. I was confused and overwhelmed and it just destroyed me in that moment and then I thought, just a couple of hits to loosen up. But they only made it worse, I didn’t get chill, I overthought everything and when I was on my way to talk to you I realized that I would have confessed my feelings for you in that moment, I would have told you how much I love you and I was scared that that would ruin everything. So I took another couple of hits and it just kept going like that. But I promise I won’t touch anything like that anymore unless you’re with me. Now please open the door” her words were hectic, not well spoken and some barely understandable but they were true and that’s all that counted.

You opened the door and her eyes immediately met your bloodshot ones. She hugged you tightly trying to hide her own teary eyes. “I’m sorry” was a phrase she mumbled over and over again until you parted. “Can you stop apologizing and finally kiss me?” You asked her with your hands still on her shoulder. She grabbed your waist to pull you into her to finally connect your lips, causing you to melt into her.

This was everything you needed in that certain moment, it reassured you that she was still here, very much alive, and that you could influence her to stop doing drugs. Your lips moved against each other until your timer rang. “We gotta go to school” you whispered, your face inches apart from hers. “Fine” she grumbled before pulling you closer once more.

That day you walked into school hand in hand, Vada a bit less anxious. It was going to be a long way until she would be fine in school and didn’t touch weed anymore, but you promised yourself and her that you’d be there for her every step of the way.

[olysmile]

𝐌𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥📚

The past three years in high school were not the worst, but also not the best. You should all get ready because you will see me yapping a lot. Hope you make it untill the end :')

In high school i had only one real friend. It was the girl who was sitting next to me. We were getting along really well. We were also close with another girl, who wasn't always with us and she was associating with other students, which was not necessarily a bad thing. On the second year my ex bestfriend came to my highschool as well. There are many reasons she is my ex bestie but I am not going to get in further details, because they are out of today's topic.

Even if I did not have many friends, I can tell that I was not alone and I was happy with that. But.... There were many of my classmates who were trying to get my attention and hang out with me once in a blue moon. No, they were not showing pity and they did notwant me as their friend. The only think they wanted was the gossip. They knew pretty well that I am an extrovert, so they wanted to spend time with me and make me share some things that were happening in my life that time so they can mock me or gossip abou it,

Even when they did not use that method, they had their own ways to humiliate me and joke around. For instance, on Saturday nights, everyone from the school was out for drinks with their friends, or a casual work, like all teenagers do. Once, while I was on my second year in high school, I was out with a guy (currently boyfriend) and we bumped into one girl from my class. I guess we can all imagine what happened on Monday. We were casually chilling in class during breaktime and the girl had the nerve to say out loud: "Olyyyy!!! Would you like to tell the others with whom you were out on Saturday?!?!?!?!?!?" Everyone stared asking me questions and spreading the news about my new 'boyfriend'.... It was discussed every day for the rest of this school year. Someone mentioned some out loud about this during chemistry class. I still wonder how I didn’t throw a chair at him in front of everyone, but I showed pity for the teacher who was trying to do his job. He apologised right after class, but he only did because I screamed on his face that it bothered me. If this isn't torturous, then what is? The worst part is that even my friends were joking about it sometimes... And this wasn't happening just with this guy... It was happening with every person I was hanging out and wasn't going on the same high school as me. I don't know why it was so odd for them the fact that I have friends out of this shitty place...

Another issue that me and my friend had was that we were kinda treated as outcasts. What do I mean by that? I will explain. It was sports day. There were no classes and sports events were taking place all day at school. When these events were over, my friend and I went home, as any normal student would do. Twenty minutes later, I received some photos in my class's group chat. There were photos with all the children in the class. No one bothered to tell me and my friend: "Hey girls, don't leave yet, we want to take some photos with all the class!". And this did not happen just once.....

We had been on a school trip and everyone had arranged to go and sit in a restaurant together apart from us and without informing us with a phone call or a message. Even the girl who is supposed to be our 'friend' didn't inform us either. And you wanna know the funniest part? At the end of this trip, this girl and of the other clowns had the nerve to come and ask us: "Why didn't you join us? The whole class was there" I AM SORRY YOU BASTARDS, BUT NONE OF YOU MADE THE MOVE TO RAISE YOUR FILTHY HAND, GRAB YOUR PRECIOUS AND EXPENSIVE PHONE AND GIVE US A CALL! I think I replied well, don't you think?

For the record, even if it was just me and my friend alone, we had fun anyways. It was way better to explore the town rather than sitting on a restaurant and doing nothing.

So that is what was happening during the first and the second year on my high school. On the third year, which many of you might call “senior” year, things were somehow chill. No one cared about the others that much, because we were all focused at the upcoming final exams. I still was dealing with some boys who were treating me wrong. More specifically one guy who was sitting behind me in some classes. He was mocking me, stealing my stuff, my bag, ruining my stuff, like pens etc. He also stuffed my hoodie with many pieces of paper and some pens. Some of the classmates who were watching this situation were laughing and they were also supporting his actions against me. I was trying to ignore him as much as I could. But the situation was making me mad and most of the time I changed seat so I could avoid him.

Many of you might say that I am overreacting and that he could do worse. Well sure he could, but this year was important and I needed to focus on classes and my studies. I couldn’t deal with a jackass who didn’t care about school at all and wanted to spend his time messing around.

All in all, these are some stories about these years in high school. I graduated this summer and I am totally happy that I left from this circus. I am also happy that I won’t have to be obligated to see all these kids who I hate with my whole heart anymore.

I really wanted to write about all these, because I think it’s the best way to get a closure.

I don’t care if people call me dramatic after this and I surely couldn’t care less if anyone feels offended by reading all these things I wrote. So if any of my former classmates is reading this, I have this message for you: You are liars, manipulators, thieves and bastards too. Hope I never have to deal with your shit again. Toodles :)

[sunnysgraves]

[SUNNY GRAVES. 30. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER] is here! They’ve lived in Asbury Park for [20 YEARS] and are originally from [POINT PLEASANT, WEST VIRGINIA]. They are a [TOUR GUIDE/EMPLOYEE AT PARANORMAL BOOKS & CURIOSITIES/THE PARANORMAL MUSEUM] and in their downtime love [HORROR MOVIES] and [WITCHCRAFT]. They look a lot like [OLIVIA COOKE] and live in [MEADOWLARK APARTMENTS]. The song that makes people think of them the most is [ANDROMEDA BY WEYES BLOOD].

☾ playlist. ☾ pinterest. ☾ muse. ☾ connections.

━━ ⟢ i. the basics  full name → sunny louise graves birthday → 06/02/1994 big three → gemini sun, pisces moon, scorpio rising height → 5'5" sexual orientation → bisexual  mbti → infj hometown → point pleasant, west virginia

━━ ⟢ i. personality tidbits  - has that complex anxious avoidant attachment style - when she senses someones pulling back she's like swerve  - dropping hints like she's the queen of ghosting - she can be very all or nothing in regards to that so like you may get a text from her once every other week or she'll bomb you with them all at once in a span of five minutes - is a great friend but she's intense so she's not for everyone - always assumes everyone's mad at her  - her hometown is where mothman was famously cited, and yeah she makes that a personality trait - she practices witchcraft and has an altar to the deities she worships - though i feel as if she's still pretty skeptic if she believes in ghosts she kinda cancels out proof even if it's right in front of her face. her logical side of her brain kind of kicks in and clears it out. she can be pretty self motivated, even if its unbeknownst to herself. - playlists are her love language - finds comfort in meditation instead of going fucking insane, sometimes both - always falls for emotionally unavailable people, a lot of times her bosses 😭 - very into metaphysics like tarot, astrology, etc  - loves horror movies and probably watches at least one a day (probably while she's eating dinner ngl)  

━━ ⟢ i. go deeper tw: alcohol, drug use, abuse, suicide - m o m m y i s s u e s 🥳 - sunny grew up in a tumultuous household with her parents always fighting and money was always tight - it wasn't until she was 10 that she moved to asbury park where she was hopeful things would improve since her father landed a better job, but things quickly deteriorated - as she got older her mom developed bad habits with drugs, and her father coped with alcohol  - as a byproduct she was kind of abandoned emotionally, and didn't really have anyone to turn to - her mom was self medicating a larger problem under the surface, and sunny had the misfortune of walking in on her mom trying on several occasions to take her own life - as a result she couldn't focus in school or, would hyper focus on the wrong things and daydream instead of listening in her classes - got the rep of not only the new kid, but the weird new kid - and as things usually happen, one day when her guard was down because her mom appeared to be doing better, so she decided to go hang out at a friend's house after school one day.  - when she returned home later than normal, she walked around her house looking for her mom. to her disbelief, she found her mom hanging from the shower curtain rod, and was in denial that her mom was really gone since she'd always caught it in time before.  - hours later her father found sunny holding her mom up talking to her limp body about how she made a friend at school finally.  - when the emts arrived on scene trying to load her mom onto the stretcher, sunny wouldn't allow them to take her mom away from her until her dad had to physically pick her up and carry her away  - she blamed herself for not being there for her mom sooner - she hasn't ever really dealt with her mother's death, i think in a way she tried to acquaint herself closely with death instead. she would buy ouija boards trying to contact her mother from the other side. hire psychic mediums, go to palm readers, anything for a sign from her mom  - whew that was fun! thank you for sticking around if you made it this far into this dumpster fire 

━━ ⟢ i. connections  - literally anything and everything  - people she's once passed on the street and projected romantic fantasies on, friends, friends of a friend, cousins, exes, ex hookups, ex situationships, enemies, neighbors, old co-workers, old classmates, old classmates that used to bully her etc etc gimme gimme gimme 

[legodamianwayne]

BATMAN AND ROBIN 2023 #1 (Take 6 (yes))

(im not writing this as i go since ive already read the issue before. ill also be mentioning gotham war since this takes place during it (just a warning for spoilers!))

i just noticed the bat and robin on the cover! so cute

OH........(just noticed this too) that doesn't look good

look at them goofing off n having fun

this is cute but the way bruce acts here and in gotham war is so jarring its kinda funny

bruce in batman #137: can't stand my fake ass family

bruce in b&r: me and my son damian 🤗

bruce is in his "local dilf in the area" era rn

damian having talia's mannerism that bruce noticed is so <3

and here its confirmed that this takes place during gotham war. not sure how to feel about that

STILL INSANE OVER THIS baby first self insert fanfic

damian went from drawing hyper realistic gore vent art to anime eyes in the corner

i think it'd be fun if we see damian write more as the story goes on. like him daydreaming n doodling in class

wonder if theres any meaning with damian putting talia as a hero n bruce as a criminal here...or maybe its just a "totally original character do not steal" thing

you dont say bruce 🙄

"the last few years"?? pretty sure the events shown there all happened not even in 2 years since damian turned 14 around the start of the lazarus tournament

also why are alfred n talia not shown there? alfred's death has huge impact on damian (he literally hallucinated him) n talia was there as much as ra's

i dont like how damian looks here but that white connor should be a crime

"thats enough emotions for tonight father" [slams door]

i wonder why damian is staying with bruce tho (outside of making this book exist) didn't bruce n talia had a custody battle moment™ n damian's like "nah i have my own life (is literally 14)"

HELL YEAH MY BOY CAN COOK

he's quoting alfred ohhh im gonna sob

this is kinda embarrassing for bruce...like ur son is finally living with you again n he's the one up early cooking?? sir u better step up

aw he's making tea the way alfred did

*squints* did bruce get his hand back? thats a pretty normal looking hand to me

did damian's comment on it in batman #137 made bruce think "shit i cant give damian any ideas of getting a robot hand" n he just. magically grow it back

[GLASS SHATTERING SOUND]

gotham...heights? n. not gotham academy? no maps? no damian joining her dnd team?? no detective club finally hanging out with damian??

ik damian got expelled from gotham academy BUT. WHY

okay? whats the point if he's not going to the same school that his friend went to?

interesting how damian fantasize for a normal life in robin 2021 (with him liking the mundanity of shoujo manga) n now that bruce is offering him that he's rejecting it (or maybe he just rly don't like school which is. fair enough)

wellll just cuz we're not getting maps n the detective club doesn't mean damian's other friends arent showing up right? RIGHT? (maya plz come home)

THE ROBIN MOBILEEE it looks so ridiculous i love it

HOLD ON. DOES THIS CAR HAVE NO SEAT BELTS?? BRUCE UR LETTING THIS SLIDE?

ik that thing is rly loud too damian waking up the whole neighborhood here

not rumors abt the batfam fighting getting spread around?? this is so embarrassing omg

am i the only one getting gotham academy flashbacks here? with killer croc n the trio with the fox shark n bird masks

they're very comfortable with calling eachother father n son while in suits huh. ig everyone in gotham knows that batman is a dilf (who's beefing with his adult children) now

not much to say abt the rest: bruce got shot with something n now bats are attacking him

end thoughts: i hope with all the focus on animals here means that we're getting damian's pets back soon n that gotham war wont affect this book much since i rly want to see damian interact with his siblings again. also is it just me or does the day scenes looks very bright? saturated? it kinda hurts for me to read idk. the night scenes r pretty tho

next issue is damian's first day on his new school that is not gotham academy but im still excited for it! (coping)

bonus bestie corner