#I was gonna save this for tomorrow but I know I’ll just forget to post

[seventh-district]

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[paperweight91]

Like I’m Gonna Lose You

Part 1

Summary: your crush on your married lawyer friend gets a little out of control…

Warnings: smut, Daddy kink, infidelity

Pairing: Andy Barber x Reader, mentions of Andy Barber x Laurie Barber

A/N: This is something inspired by the lovely @georgiapeach30513 ! If it wasn’t for her AMAZING fic Desperate Affairs I’m not sure this would exist.

If you would like to read more I am hoping to post the next part soon.

Autumn set in early this year, much earlier then you ever remembered it setting in before. Only the first week of September and you were already wearing your fall jacket to work. You always loved fall, but wish that summer could last just a little longer.

You locked up your apartment as you set out for work, earlier than usual so you could stop and get a nice warm coffee, heck maybe you’d even spring for one of the seasonal drinks since it was pay week.

As you walked into the little cafe and joined the line, which was already so long despite the early hour, you spotted him. ADA Andy Barber. The man you had secretly crushed on for months. It was embarrassing at this point. Mostly because he’s married. It was so hard though, he was always so kind and attentive. In those moments it was easy to forget why you shouldn’t be crushing on him.

“Hey!” Andy smiled at you, and your heart jumped into your throat. Why did he have to have such a nice smile? “I didn’t know you came here. It’s been a while.”

Yeah because I’m avoiding you.

“I don’t usually,” you tried to smile but it probably came out more like a grimace. “With how cool it’s been I wanted a warm treat and no better time than pay week.” Ugh, why? Why were you so awkward?

Andy made small talk as you both progressed through the line. It was wonderful, and so horrible at the same time. Once you placed your order, he quickly sidled up beside to place his own and pay for both.

“Andy! You don’t have to do that!” You look up at him pleadingly.

“My treat.” He says, and he has his courtroom voice on. “Maybe this means I’ll see you here again since you didn’t have to splurge today.” He winks at you.

He WINKED! That has to mean something. God you wish you were better at this.

“Thank you Andy. I really appreciate it.” You smile shyly. “Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow since it’s my day off and I can actually sit and enjoy a coffee for once.” You laugh at your own joke.

“I’ll be here same time, I’ll even save us a table.” Andy says as he reaches for both your cups from the barista saying a quick thanks.

“It’s a date!” You smack you forehead. What a stupid thing to say to a married man. Married, he’s married! “I uh I didn’t mean, you know date as in dating. Oh god. You know what I’m uh I have to go to work. Thanks again Andy.” Your face heats up as you speed walk to your car.

Stupid, stupid! How could you have said that out loud, to his face! He’s gonna think you’re crazy. Scratch that you are crazy. Pining after a man who’s married with a kid. Just ridiculous.

You look up hearing a tapping on your window - it’s Andy. You roll down your window, looking directly at your steering wheel, still too embarrassed to look at him, you can’t even ask him what he wants, it’s too much. He’s probably here to tell you to stay away from him.

“Hey sweetheart,” ugh the pet name is back. He always calls you this when you do something embarrassing. Usually it’s something small like tripping or dropping stuff. Nothing like proclaiming seeing him as a date.

“I’m so sorry Andy, that was so innapropriate. I should not have said that.” You speak barely above a whisper. Not even sure he heard you.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll see you tomorrow same time, okay? Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He reaches his hand through the open window and strokes your hair back from your face.

Huh. Andy’s always been affectionate with you, maybe he’s taking pity on your by now obvious crush on him.

“Th-thanks Andy. See you tomorrow.” You put the car and gear and drive away. God that man he did something to you.

Your day at work was mostly wasted as you spent most of your time thinking of how your date with Andy would go tomorrow. Coffee, he invited you for coffee. That doesn’t mean it’s a date. It’s true lots of friends just get coffee with each other.

Finally, your work day over you sign off and say good bye to your coworkers. Getting in your car, you decide to stop at the grocery store to pick up a few things since you planned to spend all of tomorrow reliving your date with Andy. Whatever, it’s in your own head. Enjoy the moments while you have them right?

Picking up your essentials for the week on autopilot, you barely realize when your back in the car and are halfway home before your brain comes back online. Oh well, at least it wasn’t far. Although you should probably stop day dreaming about Andy while driving. That was a sure fire way to get in an accident.

You spend most of the night tossing and turning, not sure what to think about tomorrow. You finally pull yourself out of bed at 5, knowing you won’t be getting any sleep. You shower and decide to wear one of your favourite fall outfits. A brown sweater dress that has always fit you well. Putting on some light make up, you look at the time and realize you’re running later than you thought and rush out the door.

Pulling up to the cafe you see Andy through the window. As promised sitting at a table, with two cups infront of him.

You take a breath and look at him closely before you walk in. He looked good when he’s not in a suit. He also looks good in a suit, but casual - in jeans and a sweater? This is new and fantastic.

“Andy!” You say as you walk over to the table. “I thought you might be working today?” You don’t mean it to come out as a question but it does anyways.

He laughs and smiles at you. “ I have to go by the courthouse later, but wanted to see you this morning.” His eyes sparkle at you. “I got you the same as yesterday, I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s great but you didn’t have to. I thought I was paying today.” You pout at him as you sit across from him. This kinda feels like a date, right? You can pretend at least.

“I know, I know. But how could I let you pay on our date?” His smile is mischievous. Like he knows he’s doing something he shouldn’t.

Your blush reaches your toes if possible.

“Oh God. Andy I’m so sorry, I know this isn’t a date, I can’t believe I said that, to your face!” You cover your face with your hands but not for long. Andy reaches across the table, and holds your hands in his.

“Andy?” You’re confused. Very confused. And maybe reading into the situation a little too much.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. There’s no reason to be embarrassed.” His smile is so warm on his beautiful face. And you’re not sure what to say so you take a sip of coffee.

“Did you order black?” You ask him and he nods. You quickly switch the cups and sigh at the sip of your over priced pumpkin spice whatever.

From there the conversation flows for more than an hour. You’ve never been able to speak to someone like this. Not friends or ex-boyfriends. Andy is such a great listener and so passionate when he speaks. You get lost staring at him while he tells you about a case he just wrapped up.

Watching how his eyes light up when he mentions something he was clearly proud of. How his neck flexes when he recalls something seedy the defence did. He’s just beautiful.

“Hey,” he waves a hand in front of your face. “Did I lose you for a minute?”

“N-no, of course not. You were talking about how Neil’s been trying to steal this case from you?” God you hope that’s right.

He sighs, wrong. Dammit.

“Laurie finds this stuff boring too. I’m used to it. We can talk about something else if you want.” You definitely don’t want that. He seems so sad, and put out by your obvious distraction, it’s natural when you reach across the table to cup his cheek.

“I’m sorry Andy. It’s not boring I promise. I just um…” you trail off, unsure of how to say what was actually happening.

“What sweetheart? You know you can tell me.” His face is a mix of confusion and worry. And you don’t like that so you know you have to tell him.

“Well I just was watching you while you spoke, and I know it sounds creepy. But Andy you’re so passionate and it shows throughout you. I really admire that about you.” There that wasn’t terrible. He won’t think the wrong thing, right?

The smile that spreads across his face makes your insides jump around. Beautiful.

“Thank you sweetheart. You want to get out of here?” Wait what? Isn’t that what the creepy dude you met at the bar asked you? It must have shown on your face because he quickly added, “I’d like to spend some more time with you, but I’m not gonna lie. These chairs? They’re killing my back.” He laughed.

You laughed too. “Would you want to come back to my apartment? I could make us a bite to eat?”

“That sounds great sweetheart. Text me your address, I’ll meet you there.”

You text him your address and start to gather your things. He walks you to your car with his hand on the small of your back the whole time. It’s not weird, friends do this. Right?

You race back to your apartment to do a quick tidy before Andy shows up. Just when you begin to think he isn’t showing up, there’s a knock at your door.

“Sorry! Couldn’t find parking” he must have parked pretty far away. You see the slight sheen of sweat on his brow.

“That’s alright, please come in. And excuse the mess I was planning to clean when I got back.”

His eyes take in your apartment and you squirm like he’s inspecting you.

“Is something wrong?” You ask. His silence is making you nervous, and you shuffle your feet.

“Oh sweetheart no, nothings wrong. Your place is wonderful. I was just trying to find this ‘mess’ you speak of.” He pulls you into his arms. And you giggle at his joke and the closeness. “ is this okay?” He asks wrapping one arm around your waist. The other has found it’s way to your face cupping your cheek and bringing you closer.

“Uh Andy what’s going on?” You’re nervous it’s obvious. He can’t be doing what you think he’s doing.

As leans in you can see his lips get closer before he whispers. “Please don’t tell me it’s all in my head. You want me, don’t you?”

Before you can respond he’s kissing you. Actually kissing you. And the world stops for a moment, because this? This is perfect, and wonderful and-he’s married.

You push him away. “Andy, you’re - you’re married. What about Laurie?” God it hurt to push him away. But you can’t do this right? Even if you’ve never felt like that kissing someone before.

Andy sighs and pulls away from you. And that hurts worse than stopping the kissing. He begins to pace around your living room, before he gathers his thoughts. He finally turns to you and places his hands on his hips.

“Just answer me. Do you want me?” He looks sad again, and that’s a look you don’t want to see on his face. And worse to know you put it there.

“Of course I do. But-“ he cuts you off.

“Sweetheart, things with Laurie they’re - complicated. And you, I feel so much more like myself around you. Please, if you don’t want this I will walk out that door, and never bother you again. But if you do…” he trails off. The most earnest look on his face.

Your body makes a decision before your brain can catch up and somehow you’re kissing him again. But this time it’s much more heated.

“You’re sure?” You mumble against his lips. His only answer is to wrap his hand around your thighs and lift. Blindly carrying you over to the couch. He trails kisses down your neck to the line of your sweater dress. His hands skimming up your thighs underneath your dress to your panties.

“Wanted you for so long.” He says between kisses to your collarbone. “Wanna see you sweetheart, can I?”

You nod bashfully and he gets up so you can pull your sweater dress off. There you are standing in front of Andy Barber in nothing but a nude lacy bra and panty set.

“Don’t hide from me sweetheart. You’re beautiful like this.” His hands reach out to you and you go into his embrace. And he’s kissing you again. Pushing you down to the couch he starts to grope at your breasts, before releasing the front clasp on your bra.

The groan Andy lets out when he sees your breasts spill out flips a switch in you. This man wants you so badly, he’s willing to cheat on his wife for you. You reach down to remove your panties, but Andy’s hand stops you.

“Want you to keep them on sweetheart. Gonna fuck you, then fill you up and then you’re gonna keep it in there all day till I tell you to clean up. Cause you’re my good girl right?” His pupils are blown wide as he looks down at you. And all you can do is moan and nod.

“Please Andy…” you’re writhing and mewling beneath him and he’s barely touched you. You reach down to pull at his fly and button to get his cock out.

“Such a good girl for me aren’t you sweetheart?” He starts to pinch on of your nipples, while massaging the other breast. “Want Daddy to take care of you? Get you all cockdrunk and full?”

“Please Daddy,” you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore as you slowly jack him off. “Want you so bad, always wanted you, only you.”

Andy groans and surges forward to kiss you again. His hands leave your breasts to line himself up with your core. He pulls your panties to the side with one and runs the head of his cock between your lips with the other.

“Look at you, drenched for me and I’ve barely even touched you. Tell me how bad you want it baby, and then I’ll give it to you.” You reach up to cup his cheek.

“Want you so bad Daddy. Need you. Feel like I’m gonna lose it if you’re not inside me soon.” You whine and whimper as he teases you with his cock.

Finally he starts to breach your pussy. It’s a stretch, he’s bigger than you have had before, and you reach up to his arms and squeeze.

“You’re doing so good for me baby. Just a little more. Daddy will take care of you, I promise.” He’s whispering as he leans his forehead against yours. His eyes staring straight into yours.

“You’re so big, I don’t think it’s gonna fit.” You whimper and he kisses your temple. Finally you feel his balls slap against your ass and he’s all the way in.

“Oh baby, gonna fuck you now. You ready?” His hips are already pulling back before you can answer and they snap forward roughly.

Your eyes roll back as he gets into a rhythm. No one has ever throughly ruined you like this before. He may have ruined you for other men.

Andy sets a brutal pace, his hips snapping into you fast and rough. His right hand cupping and playing with your breast and the left sneaking into your panties to rub circles on your clit.

“Daddy please ‘m close.” It’s building inside you and before you can warn him your screaming out your orgasm.

“That’s it, such a good girl for Daddy. I’m right behind you baby.” And somehow Andy’s pace picks up again. You didn’t think he could fuck you any faster or harder, but here he is railing you within an inch of your life.

“‘M close baby, almost there.” He groans his release and you feel his cum flooding into you.

He pants into your neck for a few moments as you stroke one hand through his hair. The other is shamelessly clinging to his ass.

“You did so good for me baby.” He leans over you to pepper kisses all over your face causing you to giggle.

“Andy!” He laughs and finally gives you a break. Looking down at where you’re both connected he slowly starts to pull out, causing you to shudder. He lets your panties snap back into place, and slides down to kiss over your covered mound.

“Remember baby keep it all inside until I tell you to clean up okay?” This is new. The sex you’ve had with men before was…meh at best. And now you’ve slept with a married man, who wants you to call him Daddy and keep his cum inside you all day.

“Uh Andy?” You’re not sure if you want to tell him this. But you probably should.

When he climbs back up your body and gazes into your eyes it’s to see a searching expression on his face.

“Yeah baby, what is it?” He’s so kind, so sweet.

“What does this mean?” You can’t look him in the eye. It’s too embarrassing.

Andy sighs before responding. “I want to do this with you. Get to know you, spend time with you, fucking ruin you for other men. I don’t know where it will god, but we’ll figure it out as we go. Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.”

And that’s how your affair with Andy Barber started.

After that it became a regular thing. When he could sneak away from Laurie he would text or call you to come over. There was nagging guilt building, but you always managed to push it away.

He was choosing you over her!

You let it carry on for months, trying all of Andy’s newest ideas to bring you both pleasure. After the first time, he didn’t linger around for very long after. Usually leaving as soon as he had you stuffed full of his cum. And you of course just kept falling for this unavailable man.

As you tidied up the house on your day off you heard your phone start ringing from the kitchen where you must have left it.

“Hang on!” You rush through the living room to answer, knowing that the only person who ever calls you is Andy.

“Hey Sweetheart,” ugh his voice. It got you every time.

“Hey Andy, what’s up?” That was casual right?

He laughs across the line, “I miss you sweetheart can I come see you?”

“Oh course! I was just tidy-“he cuts you off.

“Great I’ll be there in 20.” With that the line clicks off. You hum as you lose interest in tidying and decide to change, since you know what’s coming.

Slipping out of your pants and t-shirt, you decide on a floral dress with spaghetti straps. Andy always likes when you wear dresses for him.

15 minutes later you hear the knock at your apartment door that can only be him.

You smile as you open the door. “Hey, were you in the neighborhood?”

He doesn’t answer, just closes the door behind him, and pulls his jacket off. He goes to sit on your couch and gestures you to follow him.

“Is something wrong?” You ask him with a worried look on your face.

Andy’s face softens as he pulls you into his lap. “No sweetheart, I’m sorry. It’s not you. Just a bad day and I needed my good girl around to help me feel better.”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and nuzzle into his neck. Peppering kisses along the collar of his shirt. “I’m sorry, can I do anything to help you feel better?”

His smile is watery as he turns his face to look at you. “Can I take you to bed baby? I just need to feel you.”

“Of course Daddy, always want to feel you.” You wrap your arms tightly around his shoulders as he lifts you bridal style to take you to your bedroom.

He gently lowers you to your mattress, and himself above you. The kiss he plants on your lips is different from all the times he’s kissed you before. It’s slower, more passionate, like he’s trying to convey more without words.

You thread your fingers through his hair with one hand and use the other to start unbuttoning his shirt. Which he quickly shrugs out of. He moves to the zipper of your dress, normally something like this he’d barely undress you, but today something was different. Did he feel it too?

When you were both fully naked he cupped your cheek and stared into your eyes for a few moments, before slowly easing himself into you. Slowly he began to rut into you, his eyes never leaving yours. You could feel the pleasure building, slowly, but in a delicious way you had never felt before.

Using one arm to brace himself he brought the other down to your clit and started rubbing figure eights.

“Oh Andy, please I’m close. Don’t stop.” You were panting.

“I know sweetheart, I’m close too. Come on, I want us to cum together.” He adds more pressure to his fingers and changes the angle of his hips so he’s hitting your g-spot with every thrust.

“Oh! Oh, right there, right-“ you cut yourself off with a loud moan as your orgasm tears through you. It almost feels like you black out for a moment, because the next thing you know Andy is collapsing beside you and pulling you into his chest.

Through the afterglow you manage to murmur a few words to Andy. “I love you…”

He stiffens underneath you, the slow strokes of his hand running up and down your arm stop immediately.

“Andy?” He starts to sit up, not looking at you. In that moment you realize how wrong you had gotten everything. He didn’t want more than the sex. That was it, and here you were falling in love with a married man.

“I have to go.” He quickly gathers his clothes, still not looking at you as he dresses himself. While you sit alone and naked on your bed, in shock. Once he’s dressed he spares you a glance before walking out your door.

As soon as the latch clicks into place it’s like the last few moments finally hit you. You told him you love him, and he left. You turn over and sob into your pillow, uncaring for your nakedness, or how cold your bedroom is. Still smelling his cologne there makes you sob harder, to the point you feel like you’re going to throw up. It’s too much. You gave him too much of yourself, and now what do you have to show for it?

The days seems to stretch on after that. Everything seems to be passing in a haze around you. You call in to work on Monday, because why bother.

On Monday night you get a text from Andy. To say you’re shocked is an understatement. You stare at the notification for a while, unsure if you want to see what he has to say.

Deciding that you pretty much already knew what it was going to say you decide to jump in the shower, since you can’t remember the last time you did that. Stepping out you see your phone taunting you from the counter. More notifications from Andy.

Hey Sweetheart, just wanted to check in. Can I call? Pffft yeah right.

I’m sorry Sweetheart, please just let me explain

Nope, not gonna work.

At least just let me know you’re okay? Why were you starting to feel guilty? Of course you weren’t okay. Of course you didn’t want to speak with him. Of course you were falling for it.

Before your brain catches up to what you are doing you’re phone is ringing to Andy.

“Hello?” His voice is rough, like he was sleeping. Maybe he’s as upset as you?

“Sweetheart? Are you there?”

“Hey, yup, sorry. What do you want Andy?” Ugh, why are you almost crying again.

“Can I come over and we talk? Please? I want to explain and I don’t want to do it over the phone or through text.” He’s pleading. Well good, he broke your heart.

“If you want to come over to make it clear that this was just sex to you, no need. You walking out the door after I told you I love you-“ your breath gets caught in your throat but you power through. “That made things pretty clear.”

“That’s not-“ this time you cut him off.

“No Andy. Unless you’re about to say ‘I’m leaving Laurie’ this conversation is over.” You pause waiting for him to say something, anything. After the longest moment of silence you’ve ever experienced in your life passes you hang up.

It’s like you have no more tears left. You stand there alone in your sad apartment feeling the worst you have in a long time. You decide you need to move on, avoid Andy at all costs and live your life like you used to before the tornado that he was, came blustering in.

[harryleatherfit]

Upper East Side || A.U || Frankie Morales

Chapter 10: Hands

Chapter Playlist

Family Tree- Ethel Cain

Novacane- Frank Ocean

Butterscotch Goddamn- Fischerspooner

words: 5481

warnings: alcohol consumption, thigh riding, being held back?? orgasm, mentions of blood (fake tho) mentions of abusive parents, soft!dom frankie

pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader || Slowburn x Teacher Student x Soulmates

authors note: kinda a filler, but smut no worries. leading up to my favorite chapters i promise. had a few requests for one shots so working on those too!

🪩Main Master List🪩 Series Master List🪩

Frankie +POV

It was a night at the bar for him and the boys. One of their last free nights before it was time for the show. They were all exhausted from teaching during the day, to working on the set at night. He stayed with Benny and you for your lesson, to fortunately have a night of his life that he’ll never forget, but he was exhausted. The set for the Broadway theater had to be perfect. So many people were coming, and the school was going to be the talk of many social media outlets, newspaper columns, and this would bring in so much money for the spring musical.

Ultimately, he wanted this to all be over and to spend time with you. He wanted to put everything aside and swish you away for a vacation, or to go away and be around people that wouldn’t know you both. This feeling was eating him alive, he needed to be alone tonight with you, but you had previously told him you were sleeping early tonight to save your energy for the weekend, and the boys wanted to pull him away for a few drinks.

“Hello, Earth to Fish.” Pope waved his hand. “What’s up with you man?”

“Nothing, I’ll take a whiskey on the rocks.” He tells the bartender. It was 10ish, the night life at this specific bar was more older. Jazz was playing, attracting an older crowd. The guys ordered their drinks and food, making small talk about the show.

“Nah I know what this is about, it’s about that girl isn’t it?” Ironhead states. His girl.

He caught Frankie in a daze, “What?” He was already daydreaming about you. Longing for your soft heartfelt touch.

“You know who I’m fucking talking about, don’t play dumb with us man.”

He chuckles, “What can I say, this is different.” He sips his drink.

“You’re happier,” Refly adds.

“I haven’t had these many heart palpitations in a long time. She’s gonna kill me.” Frankie scratches his head, he didn't want to give too much away, but they all already knew about you. They had to pluck it out of him when he was drunk on poker night.

“About damn time dude.” Pope cheers, “Get this man more drinks he’s fuckinnnn pussy whipped! Had to find out the hard way you brought in Timothee for her, and that’s he’s comin tomorrow too? I feel betrayed.” He gasps.

“Calm down, calm down. It’s complicated, we can’t be screamin it to the world.” He hushes Pope down.

“How? You posted her, it's everywhere man.” Ironhead pips.

He’s thought about this a million times, talked it over with you a billion, “I just feel bad, being her teacher. I don’t want her to ever think I have some ulterior motive with her, or her to think I’m usin her. I mean we’ve talked about it before, and we know the risks of doing this. But I won’t lie and say that I’m not scared. She’s scared. If we’re open to the public this could ruin the both of us, and we’ll be looked at differently.” He gulps the last of the drink, “I mean when I told you guys, you all didn’t give me shit which I was surprised you didn’t clown me at first but-.”

“Fish, we saw how you reacted when we went to UNCSA to see her perform. Remember that night, after he hugged her and she didn’t even pay any attention to him? He practically cried like a little baby.” Redfly deadpanned, “I mean we could all see her talent from that stage. You were just the old grump that wanted her to jump your bones.” Abruptly bursting into laughter Ironhead and Pope clapped Redfly on the back.

“Very fucking funny man.” Frankie grumbles. He rips his hand around his glass cup, thinking about what you were doing right now, he hasn’t seen you since your voice lesson.

The first time he saw you was at your last performance of Cabaret. He couldn’t believe your performance, the way you fit Sally so well. Blowing the whole crowd away, the makeup on your face shimmered in the magnetic lighting, the costume flowing with the curve of your legs. Every miniscule facial expression is meticulously made up in your head. He could feel your character soaking in everyone's life, walking out of the show changed. A star. The next night, the whole team was tasked to go to your music recital, and your voice made people cry. Your emotion in singing was mood altering. This night reminded him of his childhood, how badly he wanted to let his creative brain flow but was inevitably allowed to. He had an older brother that would get under his skin, and parents that would eventually throw him out. Events in his life he wouldnt change, but still broke his soul nonetheless. He understood exactly what it was like to be a foreigner to your blood family, and seeing you shake from your mom took him back to when he was a little boy. He craved a love that would devour his body eternally at such a young age, he never thought he would find it. Because of this, he had to get to know you somehow. Once he knew everyone finalized for you and Laylah to come, he vowed to himself that he had to learn to be close to you, and find a way to protect you from evil New York, no matter what happened between you two.

Ultimately, being with you has changed him, and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to scare you, but he wants more with you, he wants more for you.

“It happens, and that’s okay. We’ll help you figure this out. Benny, have you got any wise words of yours?” Redfly asks.

Frankie knew this wasn’t an easy topic for him, you being his star student. Of course you were the star student, they all fucking knew that. Emails from every agency asking about you, asking when you’d be done with college and ready to have your acting reel done. Ready to come to Hollywood and work with the real dogs. But, Benny was being the quietest of them all, he was happy for Frankie and you, not letting you know he knows, but this was a serious matter. Benny would be the one to help you for the rest of the year to make sure you would get a good part in the musical, as well getting booked after college.

It was his job to make sure the world sees your talent, as well as hears how well you sound. From a teacher's perspective he didn’t fully agree with it all, of course it would be a scandal, a teacher with a student. But as a long time friend with Frankie, he understood. He knew his life, knew what he has gone through and observes that this is the happiest Frankie has ever been.

“Well you flustered her, the entire lesson. She was trying really fucking hard to not be unfocused, but you do something to her that distracts her.”

Frankie frowned, he didn’t want to distract you, he didn’t want to hurt you in any way. He didn't want to be in the way of anything for you.

“I mean they’re practically fucking teenagers, if you all were there you would’ve felt the energy, they couldn’t keep their eyes off of each other.” He laughs, how Benny had no idea what had happened after her voice lesson, and leading up to it, “I’m happy for you Fish, and I support you guys every step of the way, I will always be here to help with Media, or anything that comes out. I will use my power in this fucked world. We all will, right?” Benny gets nods from the guys, “See we’re all here to help you, just be careful with her. Don’t fucking break her. You saw how fragile she is. She’s strong but one wrong kick coming from the wrong person.” Referencing your mom and Nina, “Then she can bring the world down with her. She’s emotional, but she’ll turn that emotion into her craft. We literally saw it in her audition, so this can’t be some one night stand shit.” One night stand enrages Frankie. You were definitely not some one night stand.

“She isn’t some one night stand Benny. Can’t fuckin believe you’d think that.”

“Hey, don’t fuckin talk to me like that. Or you aren’t allowed in her lessons anymore.” He snarls back at Frankie, “All I’m saying, we’ve seen you spiral after being with someone. Okay? This, whatever this is with her, is fucking precious and if you break it, if you fuck it up, and this ruins her career, you have to live with that.”

The air was stagnant with the boys, heavy and thick. Words said in the air to make Frankie overthink, was he in the way of your life? Was he gonna ruin you?

“I think I’m in love with her.” But, he could never truly say this to you, “I am gonna ask her to be my girl after the first show. I think it’s time, I want to take things slow with her.”

“Well congrats Fish, first step to finally settlin down.” Pope assures, ordering another round of drinks.

--------

Last rehearsal before opening night, the longest night of them all. Earlier in the week, it was the first dress rehearsal and there was magic in the air. Getting to work with the full set and props on Broadway, feeling the lights on your skin. Makeup sponged into your pores. Costumes sewed to your body, it was all so surreal.

The sleep you had gotten the night before was rejuvenating enough for your body, at least enough for your head to properly perceive the next few days. You were excited and couldn’t wait to become someone else for a while, you had the opportunity to really wow an audience again.

Techies were called at 5PM, thirty minutes after the last class had ended for the day, and actors were called at 6, but you decided to take today as a rest day, per Ms. Royalce’s order. You hadn’t gotten to see Frankie all day, you hadn’t seen him since your voice lesson, but you decided to go in with Laylah for her call time so you could at least see him even though he was going to be outrageously busy.

After having your ID checked by the outside ushers of the theater, you were met with the authentic air. The air that you could live, breathe, eat and sleep for eternity. Tonight was your last night of freedom, tomorrow can’t be safe.

As you always have seen, Frankie was on a ladder fixing something on the stage, all the other professors/ directors fiddling with papers, making phone calls, and having their assistants book food for the night. Nina is nowhere to be found. A sigh of relief fell from your heart.

You came with Laylah early, always eager to see what each rehearsal has in store.

“Over here! The perfect people, get over here!” Ms Roylance shouts from the apron of the stage.

You and Laylah shake your heads, wondering where that could have come from, she was always a stressed woman but you make way.

Frankie looks down from the light he was fixing and as he immediately lays eyes on you, you see the giddy boy smile on his face as he rushes down the steps. The swell in your heart.

“My perfect star girl, are you excited?”

You chew your cheek, “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t, I mean look at this.” You turn to all the empty seats that will be filled the very next night.

“I am so grateful you guys are here early. Laylah can you get her into her makeup right now, once you’re done coffee would have arrived by then so first dips for you both.”

“Hey I made the call to that company,” Mr. Miller objects, “I should get first dibs over them.” He pouts.

“You’ll drink about anything with caffeine in it man.” Frankie shakes his shoulders.

Their banter makes you happy, all of them being able to work together makes the performing arts world ten times better.

“Ok head off, go get all beautified.” Ms Roylace shoos you both away, “And hey Morales? Go with them to update them for the night.”

His face drops and you laugh under your breath, turning away with Laylah going to the dressing rooms where the makeup would be.

You make your way into the room, admiring all the signatures over the walls, the wigs on the shelves and beautiful products you would never have the money to buy. You sit in the chair and clean your face with a soothing toner, clawing your hair pack for Laylah.

Frankie walks in and you look at him through the mirror, smiling so hard you knew the crinkle from eyes would be permanent all night.

“Evenin ladies, I wanted to let you know that I called some people to watch the show tonight, we’ll have a little audience. Hope that doesn’t frighten you.”

“If I may ask,” Laylah inquires as she starts rubbing your face with moisturizer, “Who will be in this audience.”

“I wanted Timothee to come back with some of his co-stars from the French Dispatch to come.”

You immediately choke on your saliva, remembering why you met Timothee in the first place. You open your eyes to see his smirk.

“Any tips for tonight to impress our impending crowd, Mr Morales?” You tilt your head in his direction.

“Be yourself, you’ll dazzle them all. Don’t worry darlin.” He tangles his arms together, “Hey Laylah, put that gold glitter all over her collar bones, I think we should do that tonight. The blood with the glitter will react with her skin well.”

“I like your thinking,” Laylah rummages through the boxes, “I found it!” They cheer.

“Now grab a bowl, dump a spoon of glitter with liquid highlighter, and after set with hairspray on her chest. That’ll make it stay all night.”

As Laylah flicks the glitter over your collar bones, covering up most of your tattoos and spraying Lady Macbeth over your body, Frankie gazing over you. The glitter makes you a trophy. He was so soft, explaining everything to them.

You noticed how hard he was with his students, he had this front to him that was horrible to break. But once you got to work with him, got to know him and understand his tough love thought process, he was like that to make you work harder. You appreciate him so much. You were surprised how he never had children of his own, he knew parental parameters so well. His delicacy turned you on, in reality he was really touchable to everyone.

“All done.” They spink you towards Frankie, “It’s beautiful on you.”

He caught his breath, “Gorgeous.” And his eyes never leave you.

“I’m gonna continue her makeup if you don’t mind.” They smile at him and you smack yourself in the head, that was definitely awkward for Laylah. He gets up and leaves with no explanation.

They pause, “So you gonna tell me what the fuck that was about?”

“No comment.” You smirk.

“After tonight, you-me, The Bear, and you’re fucking tellin me what’s going on.” They shake their head

“Deal.”

----------

You were given your cue to walk on stage, it was your final dress rehearsal, you were in Lady Macbeth's gown and makeup, your hair was done and you were in more character than ever.

As soon as you were on the stage alone, you could feel the presence of these important people. You could see Timothee’s curly hair in your eyesight. When you walked up to the apron of the stage to deliver your first monologue you could feel the personality of Saoirse Ronan. You could feel the life of Wes Anderson in front of you, you can feel the scarcity of Adrien Brody. This was your only opportunity to impress- you can not fuck it up.

You move through your dialogue, making sure to slow down. As an actor, you have to anticipate, and live through the character vicariously.

Just as you had done during your audition, just like rehearsals, you dig through your mind of every piece of advice you had been given to complete this character. Before the show was set to start, you listened to rain. You listened to women screaming for their lives, shaking from the decibels resonating through your head.

You and Mattias moved through the stage carefully, and when it was time for your death monologue, you felt the strength to scream, you felt your throat viling up to convulse. You thought of your mom’s phone call. You thought of your father, the tone of voice he had with your mother. You felt the syrupy blood that was thrown on you before hand seeping through your clothes, all over your face. Dripping from your fingertips, your character wanted vengeance, she wanted a life. You wanted a life. Your scream filled the entire theater. You wanted it to hurt your throat, you liked the threading dull pain it felt in your throat. This wasn’t acting anymore, this was you purely on the stage. You weren’t mad that you didn’t save your throat, Mr. Miller can take it up with you for another day.

Finishing the end, you sleep walk off stage, ending your final collapse. Gasping, flinching for air. You could contort your body so easily in a character role, it almost freaked you out. Never realizing how inflicting pain on yourself for something, or at least acting like it, was memorable in your heart.

You get pulled off stage by a crew member, walking off to your dressing room to clean yourself up. Applauded on the way from the tech crew, you felt relieved that it was finally over. Your first real performance would be the next day.

You turned the corner and the, already smirking in the mirror. Frankie sitting in your chair.

“That was,” He rubs his chin, “That was different.” Looking at his heavy eyes, you both were tired.

You shrug, “It was.” The fake blood was seeping off your body, “I think I hurt my voice.”

“It felt too real, c’mere, come sit on my lap.” He leans back in the chair, “And lock the door.”

“Frankie, they’ll see the blood on you and what if they need you in the booth?” You shudder.

“They’ll fuckin survive, I wanna be with my girl and I’m wearing black clothes.”

He reaches his arms out, pulling you in close. The dress you were wearing was beyond thick at the bottom.“You never cease to amaze me, they all couldn’t stop talking about you.”

You sit on his thighs, he tucked loose strands of hair behind your ears, heart beating faster than ever, “How do you know?” You ask, head falling underneath his chin.

“I sat with them for your scenes, I left the crew in the booth. They should have it down by now anyway. That Anderson man was shocked how loud you can scream.”

“You’re saying that to make me feel better.” You laugh.

“No beautiful, they all couldn't take their eyes off you. You upstage Mattias a lot in your scenes and they couldn’t stop talking about how beautiful you are.” He hums.

“Liar,” You shut your eyes, inhaling his usual intoxicating scent. The room was small enough that being there for minutes you could only smell him. He starts to kiss your neck, getting the blood all over his face.

“Frankie, we need to go before we get caught,” You start to shove him off, “ or before bows.”He pulls you back down immediately, “We have time, I promise.”

He wraps his arms around you, lacing his hands on the bodice of your dress.

“You look perfect in this, the fabric and beading of it is so intricate.” He traces the middle seam of the bodice, moving up all the way to your chest, loosening the ties to the corset top.

“Frankie, what do you think you’re doing? It took three people to get me into this.”

“Let me make you feel good, I know you’re tired sweet girl, always workin so hard.” You straighten up against him, he always knew how to sugar coat your brain.

“Bring the dress over your head, let me see you.” You do as he says, lifting off his lap, moving the tulle and silk layers away from your legs up to your head. He grabs it over your head throwin it on the floor, leaving you in your basics that practically looked like lingerie. You had on sheer black tights that showed your tattoos, and your basics couldn't leave much to the imagination. You were glad you hadn’t worn rags underneath this, you were lucky that no fake blood got on any of it either.

“Wearin this for me?” He mutters, “Who knew that basics underneath a costume could be so promiscuous, huh?” He kisses your arm, trailing back up to your neck, almost whimpering when he leaves your skin to breathe.

“I have much more to wear for you, Frankie.” You breathe.

His mind goes blank, getting to see you in such delicate clothing that you liked was a world phenomena. “Well, I have a surprise for you after the show tomorrow.” He coos, “Been waiting to show you for a while.”

“You can’t tell me now?” You close your eyes, leaning back behind his head. His hands lingering near your lower stomach. What does a suprise mean to him?

“That would ruin all the fun, sweetheart.” He purrs. He was being so soft with you, taking care of you after such a long week of working. You squirm against him, of course heat was growing beneath you. You could feel the padded fabric enclosing your pussy go damp. If you lifted yourself off of his leg, there would be a pool beneath you. Frankie has this power over you that couldn’t be controlled. You noticed today he was wearing tighter jeans than usual, his bulge being so prominent that nothing could hide it.

“Keep movin darlin, I can feel that soaked pussy pulsating on my leg.”

“You want me to- you want me to keep rubbing-?” You mumble.

“Don’t be embarrassed, pretty girl, use my leg. Move those hips back and forth on my thigh and get yourself off.”

Your brain short circuits and before you can do anything, his fingers pull your nipples, delicately circling them. He watches you tick, back almost giving out.

You start to move up and down, bracing your hands on his knee for stability. You couldn’t get enough friction, the padding of your underwear keeping you away from him. You drag a hand to your clothed cunt, pulling aside your underwear, exposing yourself on his thick muscle. Feeling his body hug you, you clamp down on him. Your clit flutters against the perfect spot on his jeans.

“Dirty girl, pussy out in the open. That’s my girl. Keep rubbin, keep fuckin soakin my leg.”

The bulge of his quad muscle working against your core had you shrieking. He wraps a hand around your mouth.

“You can’t be loud honey, and that voice needs to rest. Think you can be quiet for me?”

“Nh- Frankie- feel’s good. Your leg is so- so thick.” Your gasps are muffled by his hand, your eyes crossing from the pleasure. The weight of his hand on your face makes you crack.

“That’s right pretty girl, rub on my leg like it’s my cock. So beautiful when you’re gettin yourself off on me. I can watch this all my life baby.” He brushes his face into your hair. Sweat was building all over your body, you were beyond flushed, and you were getting goosebumps on how this orgasm felt too different.

It felt slower, but the anticipation of it all was driving you fucking crazy. His hand covering your mouth, and his arm holding you down felt like gold. Your orgasm hitting you so painfully that if he didn’t hold you back, you would’ve screamed your head off, convulsing from the rippling of your muscles intermixing with his.

You could breathe perfectly through your nose, chest heaving but never forgetting how good this felt for you. You fall back into him, laying limp.

“Baby, was that too much? You’re silent-was I holding you down too tight, can you breathe-” He rushes.

“Can I breathe? Frankie that was amazing. Your so fucking strong, I needed you to hold me back, “ You weave your hands through his hair, “So fucking strong, fuck.”

You thought of him, fucking you. You riding him and him pulling you down onto you. You craved that moment. You were beyond blissed out.

“Just tie me down and fuck me already Frankie.” You relish.

“You’d like that, huh?”

You nod seductively, you’re fucking ready to do anything with him.

“Jesus girl, that mouth’s gonna get you in trouble.” He laughs.

"Let it, wanna do everything with you.” You crash your lips with his, you mean every word. Your heart swells when you're around him now.

You get up from his lap, shakily looking for the clothes you came to the theater with. You look into the mirror, the blood smeared all over your neck. Frankie laughs that he has it all over his face from kissing you.

You check your phone, it was 20 minutes after your death scene, bows.

“Frankie, bows are any minute!” You panic

He finds the closest wipes, rubbing the blood off. The only noticeable stain on him now was on his jeans. Nobody could possibly know, right?

You open your door slowly, checking to see if the coast is clear for you both to walk out. You pull his arm with you, quickly rushing out of the dressing area.

You guys get back to the stage, holding hands with him in the dark, leading you off. You hurry to get to your spot in the line, taking bow with your castmates, channeling the biggest smile in your face. Squeezing Mattias’s hand, the perfect duo on stage.

A row of accomplished faces in front of you steer into roars, all your worries run away. Your standing ovation from them was minutes.

The lights go back to normal and everyone's hugging each other. After so long working on this show, everything is paying off.

Timothee runs up the stairs to the stage giddishly, weaving through the cast, to come up and hug you. You gasp, you can’t believe that he remembers who you are.

“I mean I saw you in that monologue, but fuck man,” He prods, “You’re amazing. Frankie was right.”

You smile stupidly, uncanny that he knows you because of Frankie. “None of you had to come, I mean this is too much.” Timothee hugs Mattias and you two feel like children at Disney World.

“Man they wanted to, I said I was going to see a friend of mines show,” He whispers under hsi breath, “That his girl is gonna be on broadway you asshole- on fucking broadway,” He yells, “And they all wanted to tag along after a long day of filming and dealing with busy people.”

You can see all of them talking to Frankie in the corner, bracing yourself as they move closer to you in a group, slightly hiding behind Mattias.

“And this is your Macbeth and Lady Macbeth.” Frankie introduces you.

You all shake hands and exchange names, butterflies killing your stomach.

“I just wanted to say, thank you all for coming to see the show, this is more than I could have ever dreamt of.” You blurt.

Wes not saying much, smiling and partially shy.

“Please, this was a delight to see. Up and coming talent is the most important.” Saoirse hugs you, her Irish accent so thick.

Adrien pats Frankie on the shoulder, “We knew this man made a perfect set, but you actors are gonna put us out of jobs.” He says, such a hot man. You couldn’t breath with all this talent and beautiful people around you.

“Where you both from?” Adrien asks.

“I'm from the Bronx and she’s from North Carolina.” Mattias points at you.

“Ah, the Carolinas. Like it there?” He asks.

“It was alright, treated me well. Not much to do but it’s pretty.” It was such a pretty state.

“We had to go film there for a scene in a museum, it was a scene for Timothee. Have you been to the art museum?” Wes pipes up, surprised that he was even talking to you.

“Yes I have!” You nod, “I think that’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.”

“Wait til you go to Europe, your mind will explode.” Timothee adds.

You think about it, “If I may ask, was there anything that you all saw that I, or we both could work on?”

“No, don’t change anything. This is beautiful. Beautifully casted. You both work so well together, and the dialogue is magnificent. And you, I mean that scream blew all our eardrums out.” Saoirse says.

TImothee and Adrien agree.

“I would, “ Wes moves closer to you both, “Shake your legs, and breathe. Look at me.” You and Mattias do as the strange man says, “ How do you feel, exactly every word in your head.”

“Scared and nervous to be around people like you, my hearts gonna burst and my words could slur and strew together.” Mattias spits.

Frankie coughs.

“And you?” Wes turns.

You nod fast, motioning to everything Mattias said.

“That’s the thing. It doesn’t matter if there's people like us in the crowd. We are ordinary people in the crowd. We are nobodies. You two are the stars of the show, so feel like it.” His funky smile shows.

The stress falls off your shoulder in an instant, feeling Mattias’s relief.

“Everythings gonna be okay, you two. Nothing to worry about.” Frankie pulls you and Mattias in for a hug. Hand falling to your lower back.

------

You made it back to your suite, Hannah and Rose already asleep, but Laylah not failing to go through her word with a self care night.

She bombards you when you walk through the door, “What's going on with you and Mr. Morales? Why was he being so awkward? You have to tell me please please please…”

“Get off me.” You giggle, “They can't hear this.”

They settle on their bed, handing you a sheet mask and a cup of lemon tea.

“You pinky swear, I mean Laylah this can end both of us, if I tell you. You can’t tell anyone. No one, not even the boy you were with.”

“I promise with my life, I will never tell anyone.” Crossing their fingers with yours.

“I don’t know just that night at the club, he was there with all the other teachers, and he saw me. I went to the bathroom and things just started to happen..”

“No need for the details,” They shake you, “ But what the actual fuck! So the eyes at the beginning of the year were real!”

“They were real… that picture he posted, the one you guys were talking about in the group chat was me.”

“No fucking way, what the fuck.” She whispers

“Trust me I know, I didn’t know what to say, and he just did it and I had to act dumb in the group chat.”

“You fucking bitch, the whole time it was you and you knew!”

“I know I’m a criminal, I can’t help it,” Sipping on your tea, “But it’s all so new you know. We’ve both been so busy with everything and trying to stay away from the public together and yeah, all so new.”

“Andd…”

“And what?”

“Are you guys dating? Fucking?”

“No, and not yet. I mean we're monogamous, we're only seeing each other right now but it's all so risky and we graduate in less than a year, wherever I go he can’t follow me. I’m happy with where we’re both at right now. And imagine people find out Laylah, I would never be casted again and he’d be fired. It would look like I’m fucking my way to the top when I’m not.” You huff, the whole situation works you up.

“You’re smart, do not let this get in the way of loving him. The way he was staring at you today. They way he said he’d check on you in the booth a couple weeks ago, he’s in it deep.”

“God I’d hope so.” You fucking hope so.

——-

previous || next

[skeletalgalore]

ABLAZE - Chapter Two: Fall Breeze

WIP: F!Reader is new to Hawkins High and is immediately drawn to the school's misfit. NO Y/N/OC USAGE!

part one | part two | part three

What's that? A playlist to go along with the fic? My, I do have a lot of time on my hands... Listen along here: link!

Originally posted on my Wattpad: link!

Chapter Two: Fall Breeze

You were stood at the end of your driveway waiting for Robin and her friend, Steve, to come pick you up. Robin had called you last night to make sure the number was right and to definitely make sure where to pick you up from.

"...so we make a left here after the gas station, and then drive straight for half a mile?" she asked.

"Yeah, for the third time, Robin," you laughed. "I'll be stood at the end of the drive waiting, saves you stressing about going too far,"

"What about if we're early and drive past when you're not there?"

You couldn't help but laugh again at her worries. "Look, you'll be fine. If I miss you guys and you're not here by 8:30, then I'll just walk. I walked home today, I should be a-okay walking to school if needs be,"

"Okay, okay, sorry," you heard Robin take a deep breath. "So what did you think of your first day? Any stresses? Any questions?"

You were hesitant to tell Robin about the Hellfire guy incident on your way home, so you thought that it may be best to try and talk about it face-to-face. "Nah, I'm all good. If I think of anything, I'll bring it up tomorrow."

You were wrapped up in a long, black, fleeced coat, and a red tartan scarf to help keep the fall breeze at bay. Rucksack sitting on the gravel next to your feet, Walkman on, feet tapping along to the beat of This Corrosion by The Sisters of Mercy - a new track added to the mixtape. You had put one of the earphones to the side to keep an ear out for Robin and Steve, worried that you might miss them and not the other way around. All of a sudden, you could hear a car coming from down the road. Squinting to see the vehicle approaching from the distance, it looked burgundy in colour and quite a nice model too. It eventually pulled up a couple of feet away from you, and as you seemed slightly hesitant to approach, you then saw Robin stick her head out of the passenger window.

"Hey! C'mon, let's gooo!" she waved and smiled. You ducked your head into your scarf hiding a smile at how silly she was, picked up your rucksack, and headed towards the car. Your assumption of it being a nice car was reaffirmed when you got closer and sat in the back. A BMW, snazzy. You pulled off your headphones and stopped your tape, tucking it all into the deep pocket of your coat. "Steve, this is our new friend," Robin introduced you. He turned around in the drivers seat and gave you a little head nod, hair bouncing a bit as he did so. "We're in, like, all the same classes together so we're gonna be best buddies, aren't we?" She smiled at you through the rear view mirror.

"Best buddies, huh? I've already been demoted, I see..." Steve teased. "I'm guessing you won't be needing a carpool to and from Hawkins High now. I get it. No need to let me down lightly, think I've got the hint--" Robin punched his arm. "--OW! Hey! C'mon, you know I was teasing,"

You laughed at their playful nature all along the journey to school. They seemed like really good friends, and couldn't help but smile at their inside jokes that you didn't even know. It was just nice to be around. The three of you arrived at the school parking lot shortly after, and you and Robin began to gather your things.

"Okay, kids, I'll be here ready and waiting to pick you up at 4pm sharp! Don't forget to eat all your packed lunch or I'm gonna be disappointed again," Steve seemed to be the joker but you really didn't mind at all. As you went to leave the car, he turned around in his seat to face you. "Hey, I know we've literally only just met but I hope you like it here. You've got a good friend in Robin, she'll look after you,"

"Thanks, Steve. I really appreciate it," you slightly blushed at him being so caring. The guy hardly knew you. You'd only been in the car for 10 minutes. You hopped out the back and adjusted all your belongings. You and Robin waved Steve off as he drove away to his day job at Family Video, and then decided to walk to your lockers inside the school. At least it would be warmer than outside. The Indiana fall breeze had a certain chill to it that was hard to shake off.

The hallway was just as busy as it was yesterday, people congregating by certain lockers, the cliques began forming yet again for their morning catch up. Thankfully, you'd been assigned a locker a couple of spaces down from Robin so you didn't have to worry about any unwanted interactions, especially from the Jocks. You side-eyed them teasing this young kid for no reason other than to make themselves laugh and to make the kid feel smaller than he already was. It made you feel uneasy and reminded you of being in the same shoes as that kid at your old high school, thankful that eyes weren't on you for once. Robin could see you tense.

"Are you alright?" she had stopped organising her books in her locker.

"Yeah, it's just seeing that kid being teased... Reminds me of my old school, that's all," you shuffled your feet a bit, focusing on grabbing your textbooks and throwing them into your bag.

"Is that why you moved?" you paused when she asked. "Oh shit, I'm sorry. If it's a touchy subject, it's fine. I'll leave it. Don't have to tell me until you're ready, Scout's Honour!" You could tell Robin was apologetic for touching a nerve, trying to make things better with some lighthearted humour.

"It's okay, you didn't know about it. Maybe I'll tell you another time, somewhere not so busy," you flashed her a small smile. She gave you a comforting one in return. The bell rang, so you closed your lockers up and headed towards your first class of the day.

The morning absolutely dragged its heels as the subjects being covered in the classes were something you'd already brushed upon in your old high school. You made some brief notes, but mainly doodled something to whip up into a proper art piece at home. You looked over towards Robin at one point and noticed she was curling her hair around her finger, idly staring at the back of a girl's head - presumably the girl she was staring at yesterday. Finally, the bell for lunch rang, everyone snapped out of their daze, and the class couldn't escape the room fast enough. Clearly they've been suffering as much as you.

Lunch was much of the same as yesterday, all that changed was the cafeteria food and apple juice instead of OJ. Robin was still staring the girl from band, who was the person she was staring at in class too.

"Poor girl's gonna have two holes in the side of her head if you keep staring," you leaned over to Robin's ear, speaking in hushed tones. She snapped out of it, blushing as she turned to face you. Even though it was obvious to you that Robin had a crush on her, you could tell she was embarrassed about being caught out. "Don't worry, I won't say anything. I know it's a difficult conversation to openly discuss," She looked at you, tilting her head to the side, narrowing her eyes briefly and then opening them a bit wider in realisation. She went to point at you as if to say 'you too?'. You turned your hand in a so-so motion but mouthed the word 'bi', and Robin nodded in response. 'Huh, I don't think I've ever openly come out to anyone before... That's a first,' you thought.

Shrugging it off, you both then dipped in and out of conversation with the people on your table. You drifted away subconsciously and began gazing around the cafeteria again, just like yesterday. The Goths reapplying their purple and black lipstick after tucking into the school's mac and cheese, the Math Nerds trying to hide in their corner using their textbooks as shields, and the Jocks using whatever they could get their hands on to try catapult towards the said Math Nerds. And yet again, your eyes fall upon the Hellfire Club table. All of them sat in their designated places, and the curly haired metalhead leader sat at the head of the table. Robin had said yesterday to you that they played Dungeons and Dragons, and you wouldn't be surprised if this was the same formation they sat in for their campaigns. The metalhead seemed to be telling the premise of the next session which he was planning, hands flailing in the air, standing on his chair at one point with one foot on the table. The others seem captivated, and honestly, so were you (even if you couldn't make out a single word he was saying). Snapping you out of your concentration, the bell cut things off and all the bodies scuttled out the cafeteria into the next classes. 'I wonder if I'll bump into him again,' you thought to yourself.

The last couple of hours dragged by just as slow as this morning, with you and Robin sharing a knowing look of 'kill me now'. The final buzz of the day rang, with kids ignoring the teacher's plea into making sure they do their homework as there will definitely be a pop quiz about what they've studied today. Their voice sounded just as tired as you all felt. You gave a nod to the teacher, acknowledging their speech. It's the least you could do.

"So obviously Steve is gonna be waiting for us outside, but he's gotta get back to his shift at Family Video. And I'm gonna be working with him too. You wanna come hang out at the shop? He'll be able to drop you off when we're done. If not, we can always drop you off at home first," Robin asked you. You hadn't really seen much of Hawkins since you moved here a couple of weeks ago. "I can give you some free popcorn..." she said in a sing-song voice, trying to tempt you. You laughed at her persuasion skills.

"Ha, okay, you had me at popcorn. Better be sweet 'n' salty, or I'm not coming," you said half-seriously. Sweet 'n' salty was your favourite, it better be a part of the deal.

"Deal," Robin fist bumped you as you walked out the front doors of Hawkins High. Steve honked his horn as you both approached the burgundy car. Robin sat in the front again, so you threw your rucksack in first on the backseat and sat in the original place you were in this morning.

"We dropping you off home?" Steve asked, as he turned around to see whilst reversing.

"Nah, I'm tagging along for the shift," you replied. "Besides, there's some free popcorn in it for me,"

Steve gave a stern look to Robin. "What have I said about giving away popcorn? We need to sell the snacks! You know Keith doesn't like me and will use this as an excuse to fire me,"

She shrugged at him. "Whatever, she can have my allocated share for the day," Robin gave you a wink and you inwardly laughed. Steve rolled his eyes and got the three of you on the road, Robin took off her coat and slipped on her Family Video vest over her blouse, and you sat and stared out the window. 'I could get used to this...'

Not too long after leaving the school, the three of you pulled up into the forecourt where Family Video was situated alongside a small arcade and a couple of other shops. It was busy in the parking lot, filled with kids of all ages, but they seemed to be hanging out closer to the arcade so it wasn't too much of a hassle getting into the shop. When you walked in, the sound of Raiders of the Lost Ark played faintly in the background. Keith swapped with Robin and Steve so the pair could start their shift together. His drawl voice was obviously ticking Steve off, so Robin buttered Keith up to ensure that all the tasks he had now delegated onto them would be done. As he walked out the door, you heard Steve mutter 'schmuck' under his breath and you stifled a laugh.

"Popcorn now, or popcorn later?" Robin shook the empty bag towards you.

"Now's good, thanks," you replied. She filled up the bag, nearly overflowing, and passed it to you. Your eyes bulged at the amount. "You sure this is just your share?"

"Mine and half of Steve's," she tried to whisper.

"Hey!" he yelled.

"Oops," you both laughed. "Take a stroll, pick a video of your fancy. We can watch anything we want--"

"Within reason," Steve chimed in.

"--within reason," she repeated after Steve. "That's only 'cause we got watching Alien first thing one Saturday morning and traumatised the young kids picking up Mary Poppins,"

"Yeah, someone nearly lost their job for someone else's explicit VHS choice, didn't they?" Steve gave a stern look at Robin, but she refused to turn around and face him.

"I'm never gonna live it down. But I still don't regret it," you both laughed as Steve leaned his hip against the counter.

You began walking up and down the aisles filled with different tapes. You weren't particularly sure what to pick. Disney? Another Indiana Jones? All you knew was that any thriller, horror, or B-Movie special was off the cards. You stopped in front of the 'New Releases' display and picked up one of the tapes. It had 5 kids posing on the cover all looking a little moody. "Five teenage students... Saturday detention together... Bared their souls... Yeah, that'll do," you read the synopsis a bit to yourself before taking it to the counter and handing it to Steve. He nodded in appreciation for your choice and waited for the Indiana Jones flick to finish.

It was fairly quiet in the shop to be honest, so you weren't really sure as to why Robin and Steve both had to work - easily could be manned by one of them at least - but you were glad they were both working so it got making to know them both and their friendship together a lot more fun. There were plenty of little digs at each other and inside jokes were explained a bit, and you got to find out a bit about the rest of their friendship group. They didn't go into much detail but had said something pretty serious happened so a couple of their friends, El and Will, had to move away to California, and you could see that it was still pretty fresh so it still hurt. But they explained some of the recent gossip within the group; Max and Lucas had just split up - and Max was suffering really bad with the death of her brother so she'd been pretty distant, Lucas was in the basketball team but was also playing D&D with Hellfire, Mike played D&D in Hellfire was seriously missing his girlfriend and best friend, and Dustin was really enjoying being in a new D&D group as he'd missed it a lot since shit happened with Will - which was one hell of a story, but not even the full tale according to Robin (she said they'd probably tell the tale another time in the future). They both said that they all occasionally pop by to rent a movie together and hang out, but they'd all sort of found their groups in high school so didn't really see each other much apart from maybe weekends.

After learning all this new stuff about the friendship group, you realised you hadn't called home to say where you were. You excused yourself for a moment and went outside to use a payphone. Outside the arcade, you saw who you thought were Dustin, Mike, and Lucas based off the descriptions Robin and Steve had told you. Dustin and Mike seemed a bit pissed off that Lucas was bailing, and they watched him hop into a Jock's car. They both then walked into Family Video so you were pretty sure you'd be getting a full introduction shortly. You slotted in a couple of coins into the payphone and dialled home. The air had even more of a chill than before, so you pulled your coat tighter.

"Hey, mom," you said quietly. "Yeah I'm sorry I didn't call, my friends Robin and Steve gave me a lift to the video store... Uh-huh, the ones who picked me up for school this morning... No, it's okay, they're dropping me home when they've finished their shift... Okay, yeah I won't be late. Love you," and you hung up the phone. Surprisingly, there was no berating down the phone for once. In your old town, if you were calling up saying you were going to be home late, you didn't hear the end of it and would be grounded for two weeks at the least. It felt suspicious, but you might as well enjoy the peace whilst you can. You walked back into the store and the two boys you'd spotted just a moment ago were chatting animatedly with Steve and Robin.

"I just can't believe he's ditching us to play some stupid basketball! He's a nerd at heart, he should be at Hellfire with us," Dustin frowned, crossing his arms in a huff against the counter top.

"Uh-huh, and I can't believe you're ditching hanging out with me to play D&D with 'The Freak'," Steve sulked at him. Dustin hit his arm. "OW! Hey, what is with everyone doing that to me today?"

"He's not a freak," Dustin said defiantly. "Anyway, you're just jealous that I've got other friends than you,"

"No I'm not," Steve crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You just don't make time for me any more,"

"You are jealous! Is it because there's another guy older than me taking me under his wing and you don't like it?"

It hit a nerve with Steve and you could tell, hell all of you could, but he tried to play it off nonchalantly. "Look, you can hang out with anyone you like, but I was here first okay so that makes me the best,"

Dustin rolled his eyes and laughed, pushing at Steve across the counter.

Mike didn't really say too much, he just seemed to be in his own world. But he turned to face you, and gave you a puzzled look. "Hey, erm, you're new here, right?"

"Yeah, I've been in Hawkins a couple of weeks. Only just joined the high school this week," you replied. You introduced yourself and the two boys introduced themselves back, explaining what grade they were in, and that they were going to Hellfire tonight for the much anticipated campaign session. Mike then looked at his watch.

"Oh shit, Dustin, we're gonna be late! I didn't think it was so late, Eddie is gonna be mad at us,"

"Shit, shit, shit, okay, erm Steve? Can I get some Milk Duds?" Dustin rushed.

"Are you gonna pay for them this time?" his arms were still crossed. Man, he was pissed.

Dustin exhaled in frustration through his nostrils. He threw a dollar bill on the counter. Steve threw the Milk Duds directly at Dustin, causing him to fumble trying to catch them. Dustin frowned at his friend, and nudged Mike as if to say they were ready to go.

"Heh, Milk Duds are for Eddie. Hopefully it'll appease him for being late," Mike shyly explained to you whilst taking the chocolate candy from Dustin, giving them a slight shake.

"Yep, but he's still gonna be pissed when he realises Lucas is gonna be late turning up too, if he turns up at all," Dustin replied. "C'mon, let's go before he goes all Behemoth on us," the pair waved goodbye and left sharpish.

Steve ended up leaving the counter to sort some of the tapes out as some kids had been in trying to mess up the displays and spilling popcorn all over the floor. You turn to face Robin as you seemed to have a quiet moment to yourselves.

"So, who's this Eddie guy that they were talking about? Is he the head of the Hellfire group they're in?" you queried.

"Yeah, they more or less joined the group within the first week of the semester. Dustin, Mike, and Lucas were all sat together on this table in the cafeteria, and obviously they stuck out like a sore thumb. Being the charismatic character he is, he saw their fresh new faces and could tell instantly they'd be up for some D&D. Quite lucky really, they played it with their friend, Will, before he had to move," Robin explained. You nodded, finally finding out the metalhead's name who you'd accidentally bumped into yesterday and who you couldn't stop staring at. Maybe now was a good time to bring it up?

"I used to play D&D too, y'know," you casually slipped into conversation.

"Aw nice, why didn't you say something? Looks like they could've used an extra player tonight if their conversation was anything to go by,"

"Well I don't really know them, and I don't have any characters ready--"

"I'm just joshing," she playfully nudged you. "I know you wouldn't have gone anyway. Maybe another time though, get a character prepared... Just in case," she winked. It was your turn to nudge her playfully this time and you both laughed.

"I, erm, I bumped into Eddie on my walk home yesterday actually," you said. You weirdly felt shy about it, but with Steve calling him 'The Freak' and hearing others in the background say it too, it was only natural to be a bit cautious about bringing him up.

"Oh yeah? What happened?"

"Well, nothing really. I was walking back and I got near the trailer park, then this big gust of wind just blew on by. Got a face full of my own hair, couldn't see shit, ended up bumping into the guy. I thought he was gonna give me a load of shit for walking into him, but turns out he's actually quite nice," you explained.

"Steve gives Dustin a hard time about Eddie, but I've heard nothing but good things about him really. Mind you, the good things are from Dustin so maybe he's biased. But Steve has a good reason for being so harsh," Robin went on to say. She leaned forward towards you on the counter, speaking lowly so that if anyone passed by they couldn't hear what she was about to tell you. "The lowdown: Eddie's parents aren't in the picture, don't know why, but he lives with his uncle at the trailer park. He gets a bad rep 'cause he gives off stereotypical 'bad guy' vibes. He listens to metal, he's retaking his final year again, doesn't dress like everyone else, smoking pot, and well, he's also known around school for selling drugs too,"

"Oh," it took you aback slightly. "I see. I'm guessing it's mainly the dealing part that Steve is bothered about,"

Robin nodded in reply. "Personally, never had a problem with the guy. He comes in sometimes, borrows a movie, drags the kids out when they're running late, and he's always pleasant with us. I guess Dustin is right with what he's saying though, maybe Steve is a bit jealous that there's another older guy with influence in his life,"

"Maybe Steve is worried they'll end up selling or doing drugs like him," you replied. "I mean, I've only just met the kids but from what you've both told me today, they seem to have pretty sharp heads on their shoulders. They'll know to steer clear of that. They just wanna play D&D. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with a spliff every so often,"

"Right? And Steve's no person to judge for that," Robin blurted out. You raised a brow at her and mimed smoking a joint and subtly pointing at Steve, who was still sweeping up the popcorn kernels. "Shit... Yeah, Steve used to be a bit of a 'bad boy' in Hawkins High. He was the good looking popular guy. Nancy, Mike's older sister, told me that when they were dating he was smoking it at a small house party he was hosting,"

"Huh, no shit," you laughed. "Not as innocent as he seems to play then," you were a little hesitant to say what you were thinking, but if you didn't say this now, then it would eat you up. "I think he might have flirted with me?"

Robin was mid-sip of her water and nearly spat it out. "Who, Steve?!"

"No! No, no, Eddie,"

"Oh... OH. Wait, there's no might about it. He either did or he didn't,"

"Well, when I bumped into him I was really apologetic 'cause I'm clumsy, then he mentioned he'd seen me looking at him during lunch, said I should maybe introduce myself if I was gonna keep staring, called me 'sweetheart', and then walked off home,"

Robin smiled at you, resting her head on her hands. "Oh, that's a definite," you blushed at her response, trying to hide the crimson under your scarf and hoping the red would merge well with your face. "Told you he was charismatic,"

'Huh, and good looking to boot-- Oh, for God's sake...' You could feel the warmth of your cheeks getting hotter. Your thoughts were definitely not helping. "I'm just gonna go outside, I think I need a bit of air," you pointed both your hands towards the door awkwardly. Robin laughed at how shy you'd become all of a sudden, and just waved her hand at you to go outside.

The air hit you like an ice cold brick wall. If your face wasn't red from the embarrassment before, at least you could blame that damn fall breeze. You took in a couple of deep breaths, straightened yourself out, and walked back into the store. Steve had finally put on The Breakfast Club tape you'd handed him a couple hours previous. He'd managed to slip on The Goonies before your choice.

"It's his favourite," Robin said. "We have to watch it at least once a week when we're working together, don't we Steve?"

"Shut up, Robin," he called back at her. "It's at least once a fortnight..."

The store has gotten incredibly quiet just before The Breakfast Club on, it was mid-week and getting towards 8pm. There was only a couple of drifters that came in for a browse and then leave.

'Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?' Bender gave a dig at Vice Principle Vernon. The three of you chuckled.

"Hey, you know what? You look a bit like you've raided a bit of Bender and Allison's wardrobe today," Robin pipes up, looking at you. Long black coat like Allison, red tartan scarf like Bender's shirt... Damn, she's right. You could help but shrug and laugh.

"At least you won't forget about me," you shot finger guns at her, only to receive a groan at the joke from the pair. This made you laugh harder knowing that they enjoyed the joke but sure as hell won't admit it.

The movie came to an end and Robin was running around doing the last bits of tidying before they closed. Steve started rewinding the movie. The door sprang open which made all of you jump and shoot your heads up to see who'd walked it. Dustin and Mike were back with Lucas, so it looked like he eventually turned up to join the game. They were all laughing about what had happened as they were explaining it to Steve, who just seemed to nod his head along to their tales. You sat there at the counter overhearing their trials and tribulations when the door opened again, albeit not as harshly as before. You turned to see who had come in and there he was. Eddie strolled on in to come and grab the boys.

"C'mon, guys, time to go," he squeezed Dustin's shoulders. Steve tried to hide his grimace but it didn't really work, making Eddie smirk a little. "Harrington can hear your heroic tales another day," The boys wrapped up their conversation and said bye to you all, then headed to Eddie's van outside. He held the door open for them, and just as he was exiting the store himself, Eddie swung on the door as it was closing and gave you a cheeky little wink. "See ya, sweetheart."

'Jesus fucking Christ almighty...' your stomach was suddenly home to a thousand butterflies, flitting about the place. All you could muster up was a small wave goodbye, cheeks tinted pink. The door closed behind them all and all you could hear was Eddie's van rumbling into the distance. Robin came up behind you with the dustpan and brush, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Wow. Definitely flirting," she patted your shoulder and went to put everything away. You looked over at Steve and he was the one to have a little smirk on his lips this time. You hid your face in your hands. 'Get me home!' you shouted in your head.

The three of you hopped into Steve's BMW and began the journey home. You could tell Steve was itching to say something about Eddie's comment as he kept glancing at you in the rear view mirror. You were nervous thinking about the fact of his name being brought up, but nothing had even happened to constitute any nerves. All Eddie did was be a little flirtatious with you after bumping into him, nothing to get all worked up about.

"So... Eddie," Steve finally piped up. You scooted in your seat a little at his name. Robin's head snapped around to look at Steve as if to ask if he was really serious about bringing it up. "What was all that about?"

"I-- I don't know," you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "All I did was bump into him on my walk home yesterday,"

"Yeah, and not keep your eyes off him all lunch yesterday and today," Robin teased.

"Hey!" you raised your voice. "You've got no room to talk," Robin tried hiding her face by looking out the passenger window, but she knew Steve was giving her a glare.

"I'm only teasing," Steve ended up breaking the tension. "Look, he's not exactly the best influence in regards to his, ahem, career, but I do know he can be a pretty nice guy,"

"I can't actually believe what I'm hearing," Robin had turned back around to face Steve. "You give Dustin all this shit about hanging around with 'The Freak' and you're singing his praises now? Maybe I'll ring Dustin when I get home--"

"Alright, alright, yeah I do give him a hard time about it, sure. But I do it 'cause it's funny to wind him up,"

"Pfft, yeah right. Definitely jealous that he's hanging out with another guy older than him,"

"Whatever, anyway!" Steve had pulled over just by your house now. He turned around to face you. "As much shit as I give Dustin about Eddie, he's right in what he tells me about the guy. He makes sure to drop them off home after D&D, keeps them out of trouble away from the Jocks, would easily take a punch for them too... He seems alright, you should actually speak to him." he turns to look at Robin, who begins to nod.

"I mean, yeah, I agree. There's no harm in saying hi, right? Not gonna lose something you never had in the first place," she gives you a soft smile.

All you can do is just sit there, stiff as a board. You felt like your parents had given you 'The Talk' and felt too embarrassed to move.

"...Okay, thanks for that. I'm just gonna slide on outta here, crawl up to my room and die. Bye, guys," you opened the back seat door to the car and stepped out into the dark. You began to walk up the drive home.

"Same time tomorrow?" Robin shouted through Steve's open window.

"Sure, see you in the morning." you shouted back. The pair drove away and all you could do was bury your face into your scarf again.

You unlock your door, kick off your boots, take off your scarf and coat, and throw yourself onto the sofa. Your mom calls through from the kitchen to see if it's you and tells you dinner is in the microwave ready to reheat. You shout back to her that you'll be there in a minute, sinking into the sofa a little.

'I've been here two fucking days and I've already been told to make a move on someone I don't even know,' your inner monologue spoke again. '...he is pretty cute though, so I guess that helps.'

[thenasoneshots]

Remus Oneshot - Visiting Hours

Requested?: No

Prompt: None

Type of oneshot: Songfic (it’s more just a random oneshot with a bit of fluff that uses a song for  a small portion of the oneshot)

Song Used: Visiting Hours - Ed Sheeran

Timing: Golden Trio Era, specifically Prisoner of Azkaban timing, with a small bit of ‘Pre-Philosopher’s Stone’ at the start

Reader's Relations: None/Best friends with James (cause it’s for the plot, okay)

Reader’s House: Not Applicable

Reader’s Blood Status: Muggle-Born

Warnings: None/Sadness

Other notes: This was originally gonna be set after the Battle of Hogwarts with the reader being Remus’s sister and being the one to look after Teddy, but it evolved into this instead, let me know if you’d like to see that one too.

A small bit of context, after his parents were killed, he was sent to live with you rather than the Dursleys.

------------------------

I hummed a tune to myself as I put the finishing touches on Harry’s 11th birthday cake. I had just finished washing up the bowl that the icing had been in when Harry walked into the room, “Post’s here.” He smiled up at me and handed me one of the two letters that were in his hands. I returned the smile and turned the letter over to remove the envelope and read the contents;

“Dear Miss (Y/n) (L/n),

On behalf of Professor Dumbledore, I would like to invite you to come and teach Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. We require a new teacher, and it was agreed that you would be the best fit for the job. Of course, you do not need to worry about Harry, as I’m sure, provided both letters arrived on the same day, that he will be coming with you. I await your reply.

Yours,

Professor Minerva McGonagall,

Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry”

I smiled at the letter, turning towards Harry who was staring at the letter in his hands. I gave a small chuckle, alerting him to the fact that I was watching him and he turned to me, “So.. when do we go and get my school things?”

“Whenever you wish, Harry, but how does tomorrow sound? There’s a birthday cake with your name on it here.”

He nodded and smiled, handing me the letter, so I could read over it, as it had been twenty years since I’d been in his position. I folded it and put it safely on the kitchen counter, beside my purse, so we wouldn’t forget it the next day and turned back to the cake, picking up the stand it was on and bringing it over to the table where Harry was sitting.

“Happy Birthday, Harry. It’s not much, but I hope you like it anyway.”

“Awesome. Thank you,” he replied, as I took out my wand and cut two slices after he’d blown out the candles. We both dug in and managed to eat half of the relatively small cake, between the two of us, saving the other half for the next day, or a later point, as it would last a few days.

------------------------

“I want three paragraphs on the uses of rubber ducks, due by the end of the week,” I spoke out to the class of 4th years. Groans were heard across the classroom and I rolled my eyes, “You should be glad I’m not making you write thirteen pages! Class dismissed!” I spoke, leaning my hands on the desk in front of me, as the students started packing up their stuff. I started to pack up a few of my things as it was the last class of the day, and I wanted the classroom to be clean for the next day. Just as I was collecting a few of the remaining quiz papers from desks, a voice disrupted the quiet, “Professor (L/n)?” I turned around to see one of the 5th-year Hufflepuffs standing at the door. I smiled and nodded, “Come in, Jen. Did you need something?”

“Not technically, I just wanted to hand this in. I finished it early and I didn’t trust it being left in my dorm until our class on Friday, so I thought I’d just come and give it to you now,” she replied, taking a piece of parchment out from her bag. I walked over and took the parchment from her, seeing it was her essay on (Random muggle objects) I’d given her year the previous day.

“Thank you, Jen, I’ll mark it this evening and give it back to you tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Professor, bye.”

“Bye, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The Hufflepuff girl adjusted her glasses and nodded before running out of the classroom. I shook my head slightly as she reminded me of myself in my school days and returned to the small office adjacent to the classroom. Sirring down at th desk, I placed the pieces of parchment in my hands down, taking out the photo of me and my school friends, the Marauders, Lily and Marlene, I kept in the top draw of m desk and rubbing my thumb over it, “I wish that heaven had visiting hours so, I could just show up and bring the news,” I took my thumb over to where James and Lily were standing, the former’s arm around the latter and giggled at the memory, before tears starting to come to my eyes. It wasn’t fair that James and Lily had been killed, they didn’t deserve it, “That he's getting older, and I wish that you met him. The things that he'll learn from me, I got them all from you,” I paused looking at the younger version of Remus in the photo. He’d helped me so much with my schoolwork, and with how to be a decent human being, his friends not being responsible as they were pranking Slytherins most of the time. During our school years, I had the most obvious crush on him and it was a surprise he hadn’t worked it out, or maybe he had and didn’t feel the same so he kept quiet about it, “Can I just stay a while, and we'll put all the world to rights? The little one has grown, and I still drink your favourite wine and soon they're going to close, but I'll see you another day, so much has changed since you've been away.” I’d been best friends with the Marauders, helping Sirius and James out with homework most of the time, and helping Remus with his/doing it for him when a full moon came, Peter doing his homework himself, “I wish that heaven had visiting hours so, I could just swing by and ask your advice. What would you do in my situation? I haven't a clue how I am to raise him. What would you do? 'Cause you always do what's right. Can we just talk a while until my worries disappear, I'd tell you that I'm scared of turning out a failure. You'd say, "Remember that the answer's in the love that we create". So much has changed since you've been away.” 

I put the photo down, unable to continue singing as I put my head down on my desk letting the tears come. That was when I heard a knock at the door. I quickly wiped my tears, allowing the person entry, and stood up, to make it seem like I hadn’t been crying, but I froze when the person walked in, “P-Professor Lupin. This is a surprise.”

“(Y/n), don’t act like we don’t know each- Have you been crying?” he asked, looking me in the eye. I shook my head, “No! Why would I have been crying?”

“You can’t lie to me, (Y/n). I was at school with you for seven years, I can tell when something’s wrong,” Remus replied, walking over to me and taking my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him, “Tell me? I know we haven’t seen each other in more than twenty years, but I’m here for you if you need to talk.” I smiled and nodded, shaking slightly, “O-Okay. It’s just I’ve been so stressed. I don’t know if I’m doing a good enough job!”

“You are. You’re the best Muggle Studies professor this school’s ever had.”

I sighed, “No, I don’t mean job as in occupation, I mean with raising Harry. I don’t know why James and Lily wanted me to look after him if something happened to them!” I choked out, the tears coming back to my eyes. Remus just pulled me into a hug, “Let it out, (Y/n). Let it out. I won’t judge you.”

“Thanks, Rem. T-this is what made me fall in love with you all those years ago.”

The minute I’d said that my face turned bright red and I squeaked, quickly backing out of the hug, “You should really go, I’ve got a lot of papers to mark, and I want to get it-” I was cut off when Remus grabbed my upper arms and pulled me closer to him, kissing me. My eyes widened, but after getting over the shock, I wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers tangling in his hair. We broke off a few minutes later and I raised a hand to my mouth, “You just kissed me…”

“I’m sorry, I should have asked first. It’s just that when we were in school Sirius told me that if I ‘ever got the opportunity to kiss you, I should do it’.”

I smiled, pecking his cheek, “It’s okay. I confessed first anyway, accidentally but still. By the way, that was my first kiss.”

“Want me to be your second too?”

I giggled and nodded, “Most definitely. D-does this mean we’re together now?”

“Does this answer that?” Remus responded, kissing me again.

------------------------------END OF ONESHOT

I probably had an idea for more of this… but ehh I wanna draw so I’m ending it here

[death2normalcy]

So, I have tomorrow (today) off, and I’m spending Thanksgiving alone this year, but I figured it’s the perfect time to try and watch a few more Ateez videos!

I’m gonna keep this post saved and add to it as I watch more. For context, I’m sticking with their music videos for now. After I’ve seen all of them, I’ll move on to all the songs without videos and so on. (Okay, I ended up watching some tonight, so this is post 1 and tomorrow, I’ll make a post 2!)

Also, just in case I haven’t made it super obvious. I’m pretty new to these guys, for the most part. I’ve seen them pop up here or there, but I genuinely don’t know that much about them. If there’s anything I should know, any issues the fandom has, if I mess up, etc, let me know. I don’t want to offend anyone here, or get things really wrong.

In this post, I talk about my thoughts on Hala Hala, Promise, Illusion, Wave, Aurora, and Wonderland. I had to stop after Wonderland, because it was a lot, lmao.

Hala Hala - This is the 4th official video I’ve watched (technically 5th, but I’ve decided to pretend I haven’t seen anything else). I love it. I enjoyed the first three, for the most part, but this was the first one where I was like, hell yea. I can’t say that I understand the story line at all yet, but I’m still new, hopefully I’ll learn, lmao.

But yea, since I’m still not 100% great with knowing who is who (although I’m almost there!), I actually loved the masks and not really knowing who was who. Eventually, I’ll look it up to find out who sings what because the singing in this one was stunning.

Promise - I had to pause this one a minute in so that I could say this before I forget: Wooyoung’s voice would fit in with any 90s boy band. I can’t explain it exactly, but it just would. Thank you. Let me continue.

Okay, I’m back. So, I love the setting! I looked in the comments and it looks like this was filmed in Moscow, which is stunning. I loved that it had a performance video feel and a street version feel.

Also, listen. I’m...I’m loyal to Seo Changbin, okay. His rapping is just *chefs kiss* perfection, but ...Hongjoong is so charismatic. Like, he’s my current favorite in the group, but that may change, it’s too early to tell.

I have no idea what the song is about, as there were no English captions, but I’ll look it up later. It was good. Also, not even gonna comment on how great Jongho is here, I already knew he was talented as hell after that Love Poem performance.

Illusion - I don’t know what to say about this one. I liked it. I could tell it seemed to have a double meaning. Like, it seems like a happy, upbeat song, but the lyrics may not be? This might sound dumb, but I sometimes struggle to pick up on the meanings of some kpop songs with the English translations. That’s my own shortcoming though, not anyone’s fault.

The video was bright and interesting, though, so yea. I don’t have a lot of thoughts on this one.

Wave - Did they just say Hakuna Matata?  ...Yes, yes they did. That’s actually so cute, bye.

Okay, I’m back. This one was so cute! Chill songs are usually not my favorite songs, but I still enjoy them from time to time and I definitely think I’ll enjoy this one. I love that it’s a great summer song, and all the talk of the beach. I grew up near the beach, so it holds a special place in my heart. I’m also always a fan of the video where groups look like they’re having fun. It’s why I love Stray Kids’ street version videos so much, even if the songs themselves aren’t my favorite.

Aurora - Okay, this one confused me at first, I won’t lie. Again, it was the English captions, again, its my fault. But I think it’s about someone being the light in the darkness? Because at first, I thought they were saying that the other person was the darkness and they found the light. Let me know if I’m wrong, lmao.

So, it’s definitely a great song, they all look fantastic in the video and they sound amazing. I don’t think it’s going to be on repeat for me, just because of the style of song and everything, but it’s a really good one. OH. And I loved the choreography here.

Wonderland - Okay, wow, okay. This is the last one for tonight, since I need to breathe after this, lmao.

This one was chaotic and intense. I loved it. It’s scratched that itch in my brain that Stray Kids songs usually scratch.

I will say that it’s a little hard to tell who’s who at times, during the more chaotic scenes, since I’m not 100% used to them yet. But I had the same problem with skz, I’ll figure it out eventually, lmao.

I love how aggressive the choreography is. It looks like they performed this one on some music shows, so I really wanna see the whole choreography, I bet it’s amazing. But yea, really fucking great.

[st-hedge]

Wishing to see the trees that once stood as tall as mountains

[venomous--fics]

Anon Requested: Omg wait can i request a fic where reader feels like they aren’t good enough for eddie and venom so reader breaks up with them and eddies sad and just a lot of angst (BUT happy ending) if not thats okay !

A/n: Day 5!! I'm think about just extending the weekathon to the entire month! Not too sure yet, but I should decide quickly huh!! I just think it'd be fun to do something like that. Maybe get more and more festive along the way. What do you think?

Song: Halley's Comet by Billie Eilish

"So, that's just it? You're just gonna up and leave and not tell us why?"

He wanted to sound mad, but his voice gave it all away. You couldn't stand the thought of what you were doing to them both. You couldn't even bring yourself to look at them as you left. You didn't even bother to grab your things. You just left emptyhanded.

Subconsciously, maybe you knew you'd find your way back eventually. But...Not now.

The weight of the world began to crush you with every step you took away from their place. You knew they were watching you from the window. If you had to leave, they'd at least make sure you'd stay safe.

It all felt like a cruel punchline to an unfunny joke. How could you be such a fool to think you'd be good for them? They....They were a protector. A lethal one, but still a protector. They helped people and saved the world from every threat imaginable. You sometimes couldn't even drag yourself out of bed.

It didn't seem fair to drag them down like that. They deserved better. They deserved the world, and you just couldn't give them that. Someday they'd find someone who would.

That night was spent alone on a friend's spare guest bed. The world was so quiet. There were no streetlights beaming into your room. There was no more sounds of late night traffic or the people talking and walking as they passed under your shared window.

There was no more fighting Venom for the comforter because he'd purposely hog it just to get your attention. It always worked. There wasn't the usually jokes about forgetting to set your alarms for the work morning ahead.

You simply set your alarm and laid down. The world seemed so much colder and emptier. It didn't seem fun and bright anymore. The bed felt much more spacious now.. The pillows felt too squishy and new. The sheets looked nothing like his.

Staring at the wall wasn't going to put you to sleep any faster, so you rolled over and clamped your eyes shut. You willed yourself to not cry.

The tv kept repeating the same old stuff. Robbery after robbery. Someone got shot. A car accident. Oh, it's going to rain tomorrow.

We should be fixing that..

"I don't feel like doing anything anymore."

"I don't feel like doing anything anymore either, V."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Normally there'd be some form of a pep talk from you, but now.. Your spot on the couch was empty. All that was there to suggest that you even existed was your favorite throw pillow.

With hesitation, Eddie grabbed the pillow and held it in his lap. It still looked brand new, and that's simply because you always knew how to take care of things. Nothing of yours ever really got broken or misplaced..And you always knew just how to handle things.

"I miss them."

A thought they shared in common. It's felt like months, but it's only been a couple of weeks. Your things were still occupying space here. It was almost torturous having to look at them each day and know that you weren't going to come home.

It was that thought that broke them both. They curled up on the couch, sad and defeated. The world was incomplete because you weren't here to make ti better. A rough day at work? You'd say, "Oh, don't worry." as you made some hot coco to relax with. Emotions getting out of control? You were always there with ways to fix them.

Did they take you for granted? Did they forget to cherish you? Did they do something wrong? Everyone always told them that they were just screwups who ruined everything, so maybe they just fucked it up again.

Maybe they'd learn to live with it. Just not today.

It's just not home anymore. Home is where you were.

The rain was awfully heavy today. But you were thankful. Today was hitting you harder than the last few. You were stumbling down the sidewalk, tears streaming down your face. Nothing seemed to hold any meaning anymore. You'd pass by Mrs. Chen's shop, and normally you'd stop by there to get Eddie and V a snack or two. But now, you simply keep walking.

Today you just let your body walk. To where? Wherever you felt like you needed to go. You were so tired, and so worn down. That only help cement in the fact that you just... You were an absolute nobody. Who could love a nobody?

If only you were born gifted with the brains, the talents or even the powers. Maybe you'd be worth something. Maybe you'd see yourself as more. Maybe if you felt like you held any importance to anyone, you'd find a reason to stick around anywhere, with anyone.

Despite wanted to be more to literally anyone, all you could think is being better for them. They meant so much, no, no, they mean so much to you. It felt so dumb and childish to be so hung up on two of the goofiest creatures on this planet. You couldn't lie to anyone. You were hopelessly in love with Eddie Brock, a man who truly was a breed of his own. And you were in love with Venom, an alien with a heart bigger than his stomach but he's too embarrassed to say it.

You don't want to love them anymore. Because you still believe it was better to not be with them.

You slumped against a light post and wiped your eyes. You tried everything to stop the tears from flowing, but that only made them multiply. You'd scold yourself if you had the energy.

The world really did begin to feel more and more empty. People seemed to walk pass and not even give you a second glance. None of them cared, and to be honest, neither did you. Normally you never noticed other people, because you'd be so wrapped up in whatever it was you and Eddie, and yes, Venom too, were doing.

But they aren't here anymore. You were back to where you started. Alone and afraid of what the world had in store. You used to wake up knowing what you'd be doing...But now you weren't sure.

You remained leaned against the streetlight for an eternity. The sun had set and the moon had risen, yet you remained put. Everything was cold now. The rain had subsided, but the light continued to drip down on you, but even then, you didn't have the willpower to move.

It's better to be cold than to have never been warm, right? That is how the saying goes...Right?

You sniffled, waiting for the next set of drops to hit your head, but they never did. You slowly looked up and saw someone's hands holding up a jacket. They looked like they were doing their best to hold it up like an umbrella, and without touching you. You recognized the jacket immediately, even just from seeing the inside of it. You'd worn it so many times.

You stood up straight and turned around, being greeted with the sight of Eddie. He looked just as tired as you, and just as lost. He looked like he had a million things to say, but it seems like the cat had his tongue.

The universe was giving you a chance. For some reason.

"I'm sorry." was the first thing to spill out of your mouth.

"We're sorry, too."

"You didn- It was me. I was.." You took a step back from under the jacket, but it seems like Venom wasn't having any of that. He moved Eddie's body for him, this time, draping the jacket on your shoulders.

You gently crossed your arms and held them close, appreciating the gesture now.

"You can leave now. If you want." Eddie moved back a little, "We just saw that you were cold.."

"I don't want to go." you gripped onto the jacket, trying to fight the new wave of tears threatening to come out, "I just.. I had to because I felt like I wasn't good enough."

You were about to ramble on when Eddie cut you off, "That's why you left?"

"I'm sorry." You felt like you could just curl up and die on the sidewalk.

You looked down, staring at the cracks that littered the walkway. You'd find someway to make this poetic.

Two hands, one human and the other very much not, wrapped themselves around you as they pulled you into a warm embrace.

"Did we make you feel that way?"

The way Eddie's voice cracked made your arms go limp at your sides.

"No. I made myself feel that way- But I can't help it. You guys do so much good and I-"

"We love you."

The hug got tighter, "We used to do what we did because it was the right thing to do. But then we met you and it all changed. It seems so cliche to say that, but...It's true."

"You're just saying that."

"We adore you. We promised to do everything we can to make sure we leave this world a better place for you."

Your hands shook as your fought with yourself. You wanted to hold them just as close as they were holding you, but you felt-

"I don't deserve this.."

Unworthy.

In typical Brock fashion, and never knowing how to truly deal with his emotions, Eddie clung to you, almost pleading, "Would you just listen to what we're saying."

"You can't love me."

"Why the hell not? Huh? Whose going to stop us?"

"Nobody's going to stop us."

"Why is it me. Out of all the worthy people, why me?"

"You're such a good person. I know you don't see that..But you're the kindest person I've ever met."

"Certainly the nicest I've met..."

Every last word you wanted to yell out into the night sky just vanished from your mind. You wrapped your arms around Eddie and squeezed as hard as you could.

"How many times do we have to say it to make you believe it?"

"I'll say it a billion times," Eddie said, "Most guys would quit at a million but me? I don't know when to quit."

"It's true. He doesn't. But if saying it a billion times gets you to come home, then I'd do it a million more than him."

"I," You started, taking in a deep shaky breath, "I wanna go home regardless."

"We can talk more there if you're comfortable."

"With coco."

"I would like that."

The walk home was a talkative one.

Eddie's hand held yours tightly, but not too tight. He was so afraid that if he didn't hold it firmly enough, you'd simply slip away again. He was sure as hell not letting that happen again.

The apartment looked the exact same as when you left. You were so surprised by that. Normally they'd be a mess if you were gone for too long, and the apartment would reflect that.

"It all looks the same."

"Oh. Yeah." Eddie busied himself with fetching the hot chocolate ingredients.

"We couldn't bring ourselves to ruin your hard work...Or move your things." For the first time, Venom seemed sad.

They both seemed tired. You wanted to feel bad, knowing that they felt that way because of you. But knowing that they loved you meant that they felt bad, not because of you, but because you were gone.

Without thinking, your hand reached out and grabbed Eddie's arm, startling him a little.

"Can we go lay down for a little bit.." you asked quietly, "I think we all need a little rest."

Relief washed over him as he set down the cups and lead the way to the bedroom. There was no more words as you three crashed onto the mattress. Venom used a small tendril to turn the lamp off and pull you closer to Eddie.

"Are you okay with loving a nobody like me?" you asked as you watched him shut his eyes.

"Are you okay with loving two nobodies?"

"We are all losers."

Venom pulled a blanket over you and Eddie, going so far as to fluff the pillows under your heads.

"And that's okay. I love us the way we all are."

You yawned for the first time in ages as your eyes closed, "I love us too."

There was that familiar light coming through the window. And there was the sounds of the cars and the people. The world felt just right and you were home. You moved closer to Eddie and placed a quick, soft kiss on his lips, and his arms were quick to wrap around you.

You felt a soft tendril wrap around your arm.

"I know what you're feeling and what you're thinking." His voice sounded surprisingly quiet, "But you are more than enough for us. We don't say it, but sometimes we feel the same way. You could certainly do better than us. But.."

The tendril tighten a little, but not enough to really do much.

"You left and we realized...We don't know what to do without you. We didn't feel like doing anything anymore. It felt pointless."

You turned your head to look at your arm, seeing two small white eyes staring at you with a mixture of sadness and adoration.

"I know I'm not good with these human emotions..I might never be good with them, but..I know that I love you. And Eddie loves you too. We always try our best to show you..But you are truly all we need to be happy in this life."

You were a bit shocked with how much Venom had to say. Most of the time, he tried to use the least amount of words possible to get his point across, so you knew that he meant it.

"You both complete me, and for once, I finally have the courage to say it, because I don't know when I'll get the chance to say it again."

You smiled softly at him, and moved your arm in a way where you could place a soft kiss onto the top of his tiny little worm head.

"I won't leave again. I promise we can talk about it first."

"Talking is good."

"I love you, V."

"I love you too." He seemed to pause as he shot a glance up to Eddie, just to make sure he was still asleep, "More than that guy."

"Not possible." Eddie groaned, adjusting a little.

You smiled a little as you curled up under the blanket and actually shut your eyes for good for the night. Finally, a good night's rest. You still had doubts, maybe not many and none as big and frightening as before, but that was normal.

Not everything in life is a given or a certainty. You're not promised to tomorrow and it's not a give that you'll be a millionaire. But where you are now is where you're supposed to be. Don't doubt it. The two halves of your heart will quite literally walk to the ends of the universe just to see you smile, and that's more than enough for you.

[fruitcoops]

Sometimes I forget that Leo is 19 and can’t drink in the states. I think he would get away with stealing drinks from the boys or having someone on the team order for him in public for a while but once the season’s started and people are actively watching the games, the bartenders and wait staff start to figure out who he is and catch him being sneaky

I only write drunkenness on a case-to-case basis because it squicks me out sometimes, but something about this ask really stuck with me. To @lalalasocks, I hope your sinuses feel better! Have some outside perspective of Coops to soothe the soul <3 SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for a drunken rookie (no explicit alcohol)

“Pots and I are going to take it up the left,” Sirius said, never taking his eyes off his whiteboard as he drew out the lines of the play. iPads were generally the more conventional tool, but he had a thing for tradition and Sirius Black’s flair for the dramatic never ceased to amaze. “Knutty?”

Leo nodded and leaned forward, swiping a drop of sweat off his temple with a glance toward the game as Talker flew past. “I’ll be in for the rest of the period as soon as Coach calls it.”

“Bien.” He tapped Remus’ shoulder pad with the end of his pen and marked a path up the other side. “Loops, the puck is coming to you fast, so you need to keep eyes on us. Once you get it, turn on the jets and get it in. Good?”

“Good,” Remus confirmed, bumping fists with James. Leo watched them with no small amount of surprise—even though Remus had only been a player for six months, their line was rock-solid. James was the powerhouse while Remus flashed down the ice; Sirius counterbalanced them both in the middle. He was grateful he wasn’t the one to see them coming at him on plays.

“1, 6, 7, 12!” Coach barked. Leo clenched his teeth around his mouthguard and got ready to hop the boards. A swish of skates, a bump of Kasey’s shoulder, and it was game time.

-----------

“I love you,” Leo hiccupped, plopping himself down in Logan’s lap and tangling a hand in his dark curls. He went to kiss his cheek, then frowned. “Oh.”

“Hi,” Sirius laughed with a gentle pat his side. “Good night so far, Knutty?”

Leo made a face. “Where’s my Canadian?”

“I have no idea.”

His lip slid out even further into a pout. “He told me I could sit on his lap,” he whined plaintively, resting his head in the crook of Sirius’ shoulder with a heavy sigh. The bar was warm—a little too warm, actually—but it felt nice to be sitting on something soft rather than feeling the sticky floor under his sneakers. And there was one more reason he needed to find Logan, one other highly important thing… “An’ I gotta give him a kiss.”

“Do you want to go look for him?”

Leo made a noncommittal noise and swung his leg under the table absently, letting the alcohol in his system lift all his post-game tiredness away. His head hurt a little from being awake so long. “How ‘bout I stay here and wait?”

“I think it’s about time to get you home.”

Leo sighed again, picking at a string on the knee of his ripped jeans. “Am I squishing you?”

“Non.”

“Mmkay.” A bright square of light half blinded him and he squinted. “Who’re you texting?”

“Finn.”

“Why?”

“So that he can pick you up and get you home before you fall asleep on me,” Sirius said, quite amused for some reason. “Comfy, rookie?”

He shifted even closer into the warmth and closed his eyes. Usually he got horny when he drank, but that feeling had already passed and a nap was sounding awful nice. “I like it when you call me that. Hate when other people do it, but it’s different with you.”

Sirius gave his upper arm a light squeeze. “Glad to hear it.”

“Used to drive me nuts,” he snorted. “Those first couple’a weeks on the team were rough.”

“…why?”

“Cause I had a huge crush on you.”

Cozy silence fell between them until Sirius moved to look at him. Leo blinked sleepily. “You what?”

“Well, Kasey was my first crush, right? I had his jersey an’ his poster an’ he’s fucking hot, but you’re the captain.” Sirius was so nice to him. Not everyone would have let a 6’4” hockey player sit on their lap and wait for their boyfriends. At the moment, though, Sirius looked a bit like Leo had thrown ice water in his face. “And obviouslyFinn and Logan are my boys and I love them so much and they were sopretty when I met them but, y’know, it’s the thrill of the captain vibe.”

“Am I interrupting something?” a new voice asked through poorly-suppressed laughter.

Leo turned his head to look up with a smile. “Hey, Loops, how’re you?”

“Pretty good.” Remus shared a look with Sirius, grinning, before taking the seat next to them. “You two look…content.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Sirius said immediately, though Leo felt his chest hitch with a laugh; he tapped Leo lightly on the elbow a moment later. “Finn’s heading over, d’accord?”

“But I just got here,” he mumbled.

“You’re in my spot,” Remus teased, sliding a glass over. “Drink up, bud.”

Leo narrowed his eyes. “What is it?”

“Water.”

He thought for a second—he wasn’t thirsty, but his mouth was getting dry—and yawned, sitting up enough to stretch before grabbing it. In two gulps, it was gone. “Aw.”

Remus bit his lip and passed a different glass over. “You can have mine too, it’s okay.”

“How are both of you so nice?” he asked, looking between them in something like distress. The music was getting too loud, but they were both watching him intently. “It’s not even fair, man. Can’t you just be an asshole for once so the rest of us don’t look bad?”

Sirius shook his head and pressed the water cup into his hand. “Been there, done that. Do not recommend. Besides, the designated drivers don’t get to be mean.”

Leo felt a little better once the water was gone; he blinked slowly, scanning the crowds for any signs of Finn’s hair or Logan’s ass. Both were identifying features he would never get tired of. “Loops?”

“Yeah?”

“Why is your hair soft?”

“I—” He tilted his head to the side in confusion. “Have you ever touched my hair?”

He leaned back against Sirius, stretching his legs out until his knees popped. “No, but it looks soft. Like Finn’s, if Finn was blonder and had curls. Fluffy.”

“It’s very fluffy,” Sirius confirmed, pulling him up a little more.

“Hey!” Leo protested. “Watch the hands, your boyfriend is right there!”

Sirius rolled his eyes with a huff. “I was making sure you didn’t slide off the bench.”

“Sure,” Leo said with a suspicious glare. “Just ‘cause I won MVP for this game—”

“Okay,” Sirius groaned, standing and detangling his limbs to transfer Leo’s weight onto Remus. “I’m going to go get your boyfriends from wherever they got distracted, and then you’re going to go home and sleep so you’re not dying at practice tomorrow. Oui?”

He disappeared into the mass of people without giving Leo time to respond, wiping his hands on the thighs of his jeans as he craned his neck to see over people’s heads. “Rude,” Leo sulked, cuddling up into Remus’ side instead.

“I know, right?” He took a sip of something lemony and Leo pulled a face. “What?”

“Aren’t you DD?”

“Last I checked, DD’s are allowed to drink lemonade,” he laughed, patting the top of his head. “That was an awesome save in the third, by the way. You could’ve got the hat from that one alone.”

“Which one?” Leo yawned again, licking his lips to rid them of the stickiness he could feel forming.

“The splits one.”

“Mmm, yeah, that was pretty badass.” More people darkened his periphery and he scooted over to make room. “Hey, mes amours.”

“I hear you were bothering our dear captain?” Finn asked, kissing his cheek with a grin. There was no alcohol on his breath, only the mint from the peppermint candies he always stole from the little container by the bar. “Come on, baby, time to go.”

“But Loops and I were talking,” he whined, though it only took a small tug on Finn’s part to get him to snuggle up into his soft shirt. “He was telling me how good I did in the game.”

A warm hand stroked his hair out of his eyes; warmer lips brushed his forehead, and he felt Logan’s hand on his knee. “Bedtime, love,” he said in a quiet voice, almost too soft for Leo to hear over the noisy bar. “Wanna be in the middle?”

Leo looked up in hope. “Really?”

“Ouais. C’mon, Knutty, up you go.”

He wobbled a little as he stood, but got his feet under him within a few moments with the help of Finn’s arm around his waist and waved off everyone else’s offered help. “Gonna be fine for practice,” he promised, patting Sirius’ hand with a nod. “Totally fine, don’t worry. Go—hic—go grind on your boyfriend, ‘kay? You both need it.”

“Sweet Jesus,” Sirius muttered. “I pity your head in the morning.”

“I’m fine,” Leo scoffed. He was already sleepy—there was no way he would have a headache, not after he had two whole glasses of water. “G’night.”

“Drive safe,” Sirius and Remus chorused as Logan fit himself under Leo’s other arm to kiss his neck twice, sending butterflies through his stomach. The outside world was nice and quiet; Leo barely got himself buckled into his seat before dozing off with his head against the cool passenger window.

[letarasstuff]

“Do you mind sharing?”

(A/N): It’s a little sweet something based on this post. I hope you like it.

Summary. Based off of the events of 4x24 “Amplification” (the end to be more specific). How does the end look like with Spencer’s daughter being there?

Warnings: A little bit of angst, but it’s mostly fluff

Wordcount: 0.9k

✨Masterlist✨ ____________________________ “(Y/N) Sweetheart? There is somebody to pick you up”, the little girl’s kindergarten teacher calls out for her. Immediately she toddles over, leaving piles of books behind. “Is it my daddy? Is he picking me up earlier today?” (Y/N) looks up to the still young woman with hopeful eyes.

She crouches down in front of the three year old, a heavy sigh leaving her lips. “No, Sweetheart. But it is a kind agent from the FBI, so I’m sure he will bring you to your father. Now go and get your stuff, we don’t want to waste our time, do we?” Then she boops her little nose.

(Y/N) giggles. “Ok, but I don’t think you can waste time. I’ll tell you more about it tomorrow.” And off she goes, leaving her teacher stunned by her intellect.

Not long after that she jumps out of an FBI issued SUV and runs to her Uncle Derek, hiding in his legs as he doesn’t expect an attack like that. “Hey there shortcake, I didn’t know you’ll be here this fast.” He picks her up and sets the toddler on his hip. Shyly she puts her head into his neck.

“There are so many people here. Where is Daddy? The agent told me I’ll see him, same as my teacher.” For a short moment Derek forgets why they all are at Dr Nichols’ house. He sighs. “You are doing the same thing as my teacher, the loud breathing. Why?”

This makes the agent smile. Sometimes (Y/N) is too smart for her own good. “You know what, smarty pants? I’m gonna take you to your father but you have to promise me to listen either to me or him. Ok?” She nods eagerly, ready to face Spencer again.

The sight she is met with shocks her. “Daddy! What are you doing in there? Why don’t you come out? You seem to be hot.” Worried, the toddler puts her hand on the glass door.

“Hey Honey, what are you doing here? You are supposed to be in kindergarten”, flabbergasted he looks at his daughter. It’s not that he isn’t happy to see her, but the father doesn’t want her to see him in his state.

“An agent picked me up, which was ok. I had my homework done and was just reading. But why don’t you come out?” Innocently she looks at him. Spencer tries to smile through the pain he is feeling, keeping it coughing at bay. “You know, sometimes you are clumsy and break things? I am as clumsy and I broke something important and now I’m going to fix that. Go to Uncle Morgan, ok?”

Spence really doesn’t want his daughter to go, but he has to put  his own needs and wishes  aside in order to protect her. He knows he doesn’t have much time left and if they don’t find the cure soon, he won’t make it. Also the young doctor doesn’t want her last memory of him being overall sweaty and coughing like a mad man.

“Ok Daddy, I see you soon. I love you!” After she goes to her godfather, Dr Kimura looks at Spencer with sad eyes. “Seems like she takes after her father”, she says while pointing to (Y/N), who talks to Morgan animatedly and gestures with her hands.

Dreamily he absorbs the picture, thankful for his eidetic memory, because it’s a sigh he doesn’t want to forget. Unfortunately the moment is cut short by a coughing fit, leaving Spencer struggling for air.

Motivated by the sole presence of the child, both of them try harder to find the cure. Pretty quickly Dr Kimura spots the inhaler and with that Spencer finds himself in a mobile shower.

“I’m not gonna leave you, Reid, and this little peanut also stays with you the whole time”, Derek assures him, patting (Y/N)’s head. She nods along.

“As much as I love the both of you, but they are going to strip me naked and I want to save you this sigh”, Spencer tries to smile, which seems a bit sad given he isn’t far from looking like a wet poodle.

Knowing that his state worsens the more time passes, Morgan takes the toddler to an SUV and drives with her to the hospital.

A few hours later Spencer slowly awakes, relieved by the absence of pain and coughs.

“And corals can die from stress, though I’m not sure what stresses them out. If you want to I can look it up for you”, (Y/N) tells Derek while eating from a red cup of jello. Luckily for him, he spots Spencer opening his eyes.

“Hey, look who's back. Doctor!” In an instant she is in the room, taking the doctor’s vitals.

“Do you mind sharing with me?” Spencer ignores her and his best friend completely, his focus is solely on his daughter.

“Of course not!” Her chair is close enough for her to take the little spoon and point it towards the vague direction of her father’s mouth. “Thank you, Sweetheart.”

Even though he just awoke, Dr Kimura holds back any scolding. It’s more important now to see the little family happy and content than any regulations.

After just three spoons of the sugary dessert, Spencer looks like a mess. But he doesn’t mind, because (Y/N) insists on “Feeding you like you do to me.” And a Reid is stubborn. You can’t change her mind once it’s made up.

Taglist: 

Spencer Reid:

@calm-and-doctor @agentshortstacc

x child!reader:

@ilovetaquitosmmmm

[ichigopanhpff]

Mitsuya x Fem!Reader: Begin Again Ch. 4

[Previous Chapter] -- [Masterlist] -- [Next Chapter]

Posting a day early this time since I'll be knocked out from the booster tomorrow.

Warnings: Violence

“What’s up, Chifuyu?”

“Mitsuya-kun, please listen very carefully,” the vice captain’s voice was calm and steady over the receiver. “Hakkai’s planning on killing Shiba Taiju tonight,” he revealed.

“Wh--”

“Takemitchy and I tried talking to the other division leaders to stop this, but it was turned down out of not wanting to ruin the truce you made with the Black Dragons,” the blond cut in to explain.

And there it was.

The uneasiness he’s been feeling these past couple of weeks finally revealed itself.

He composed himself before asking, “So what’s goin’ on now?”

“We’ve hesitantly enlisted the help of Kisaki and Hanma. Frankly, I don’t trust ‘em one bit. I just know they’re scheming somethin’. Mitsuya-kun…” Chifuyu paused for a moment. “I’m really sorry if we fuck up the truce but… Takemitchy and I can’t sit around knowing we can still stop him. If you show up, you could at least talk sense into Hakkai if Takemitchy can’t.”

“What time will you be there?”

“Around 11pm at Udagawa Christian Church.”

“I’ll be there.”

He hung up and closed his phone. “Looks like you jinxed me, (Y/N).”

“Eh?”

“Those two idiots from the first division’s been making moves. Hakkai’s gonna kill Taiju tonight.”

“What?!” she exclaimed. “We gotta stop him!”

“I’m going to stop him,” he firmly replied.

“But the rest of Toman won’t be there due to the truce!”

“I got Takemitchy and Chifuyu,” her silver purple haired friend reasoned. “They wanna save Hakkai, but Chifuyu doesn’t trust the two newly appointed captains they teamed up with.”

“Then I’m coming with,” she heavily insisted. “I’m not about to abandon you and let you get hurt!”

“You’re not aban---”

“Did you forget the pact I made with you?” (Y/N) harshly interjected. “Or do Toman captains only pay lip service?”

Mitsuya sighed deeply. Knowing the odds were stacked against them in this fight and as much as he hated to admit it, he needed as many allies as he could get at this point.

“… We might have to fight Taiju,” he warned with a tone of hesitancy, feeling guilty for involving her and putting her in harm’s way. “That bastard’s real strong.”

“The throwdown was bound to happen. Are you fine with breaking the truce?”

“If it’s to save Hakkai from doing something stupid, I’ll take responsibility for what may come,” he declared and looked at his friend solemnly with worry. “(Y/N)… Are you sure you wanna do this?” he asked again with unease. “We’re not gonna get out of this unscathed and I won’t be able to watch your back the entire time.”

“Look, I know what I’m getting into and I’ll be fine,” she reassured. “It’d be a Christmas miracle if we come out not battered and bruised, if we’re being realistic.” She felt her hands shaking a little in anticipation and balled them up in a fist to calm down. “But we have an advantage here.”

“How so?”

“Stealth is our weapon.”

“While that’s great in other situations, that’s not how Toman rolls,” Mitsuya plainly stated. “I was just gonna go through the main entrance.”

“Then I’ll use stealth, okay?” she replied and rolled her eyes, shifting the weight in her legs to one side and placed her hands on her hips. “Since this Chifuyu-kun’s only expecting you to show up.”

“Alright.” Mitsuya pounded his fist into his palm with a confident, toothy grin. “Let’s get warmed up.”

Running back into his apartment to change, Mitsuya reemerged with his Toman officer uniform on under his jacket. Throwing a spare helmet to (Y/N), she caught it with ease and hopped on. It was as if the two riding Impulse together was second nature now. Traffic was light on this holiday night and they were able to speed down the highway with barely any cars around.

Next thing they knew, they were already in front of the church. Hastily charging up the entrance, the two did their best to lift the heavy doors as quietly as possible. Making their way up, they heard someone shuffling with muffled cries.

“Chifuyu!” Mitsuya rushed over to untie him from a pillar.

“Those two bastards got me…” the blond huffed out the moment the tape was removed from his mouth and got up with the second division captain’s help.

“We’ll deal with Kisaki and Hanma later.”

Regaining his balance, the newly freed blond noticed a new presence from behind.

“Who’s this?” he asked with a tone of suspicion with a slight glare at Mitsuya’s friend.

“The Calvary,” (Y/N) flatly answered without pomp and circumstance with her hands in her leather jacket pockets, cocking her head sideways. “I’m (YF/N).”

“She’s a close friend of mine,” the lilac haired boy reassured to ease his nerves. “And she can fight.”

“You brought a girl to a fight?! Are you nuts?!” Chifuyu exclaimed.

“I insisted he brought me,” she jumped in, disregarding the fact he made light of her gender not being able to throw hands.

“It’s a long story,” the captain finalized and sighed. “But we’re wasting time standing out here.”

The party of three made their way to the main chamber entrance of the church.

“I’m gonna hide behind the seats and attack from the blind spots,” she whispered and gently opened the door with a wide enough crack to slip through and made her way to the right. From there, she could see the stand off between Taiju, Hakkai, a blond boy wearing the Toman uniform with a white sash tied around his back and… Yuzuha?

Hiding behind at the edge of one of the benches in the back, she debated whether or not to reveal herself at this moment to save the ashy blonde girl; she was unsteady on her feet and wavering with a knife in hand. The Shiba female looked to have been beaten pretty thoroughly by her older brother.

That asshole, (Y/N) thought to herself and clenched her fist.

His violence has escalated to this point, huh?

Fine by her. She’ll feel less guilty punching his face in now.

“… I’ll… protect Hakkai…” Yuzuha uttered out between ragged breaths, swaying between consciousness before falling down. And it was then Mitsuya intervened by holding the blade of the knife in his left hand.

“This isn’t something used to protect others,” he told her, announcing his presence.

(Y/N) continued moving in a crouched position to get closer to Taiju while their attention was on the second division captain. As her eyes were trained on the Black Dragon leader, her first initial thought was Mitsuya wasn’t joking when he said he was strong; his aura practically radiated intimidation. Feeling a nervous sweat roll down her left temple, she inhaled quietly to calm down.

“Don’t tell me you’re a scum who breaks his own promises?” Taiju accused Mitsuya.

“I’m gonna tell you something more obvious than that,” the second division captain’s voice calmly replied; his face however, said the opposite. “Never hit your little sister no matter how badly she misbehaves.”

He then ripped open his Toman jacket, exposing his chiseled torso.

“That’s what being a big brother’s all ‘bout, you asshole!” he shouted.

As the fight between Taiju and Mitsuya went underway, she had to wait like a hunter timing its attack on its prey. She watched on with anticipation, feeling her stomach churn with anger every time Taiju hit Mitsuya in their exchange of blows. There were two things that took her back the most: One, his vigor in getting into a fight; she always saw him as the peacekeeper with anything and two, his muscles. If she were being honest with herself, (Y/N) found herself a little distracted by it.

He was… surprisingly defined.

Her breath hitched in my throat when she saw someone in a white coat with the Dragons’ logo on their back come out of nowhere and him in the head with a lead pipe.

Shit.

Where the hell was that guy hiding?!

“Taka-chan!” Hakkai yelled while running to his now fallen body.

As Taiju and his underlings cackled in victory, Takemichi and Chifuyu prepared to rush the two Dragons officers who suddenly appeared. (Y/N) snuck up from behind and jumped up in the air with the help of a bench arm, her menacing energy radiating out of every pore in her body. The Black Dragon leader noticed in time and intercepted her hard kick aimed at his head with his muscular forearm. She immediately pulled her leg back and landed her feet the stone floor in a defensive stance a few feet from the podium.

“Looks like we have another busybody in our midst,” Taiju glowered down at (Y/N) and cracked his neck.

“Is this how the cowardly Black Dragons roll?” she taunted. “When the fight looks tough, divert to dirty tactics?”

“That’s rich comin’ from someone who tried to kick me from behind!” he barked back defensively with his signature evil grin.

“At least I don’t use weapons.”

“Inui, Koko. Waste her.”

Inui ran at (Y/N) with his pipe ready to swing down, only to have her dodge it with ease as Koko took a swing at her. She immediately grabbed his forearm from the side and threw him over her shoulder, knocking the wind out of him the moment his back hit the floor. The boy with the left scar swung at her again, with her blocking the pipe just in time with her forearm. Koko recovered quickly and slugged her across the face and in the stomach. She stumbled a few steps backwards and spat out some blood.

“Heh. That all you got?” the black haired boy sneered.

She immediately changed her fighting stance and rushed the black haired boy from below, flowing in between blocking Koko’s hits with her forearms and delivered a powerful punch to his midsection directly followed with a roundhouse kick to his face. The hits were highly effective against the black haired captain as he staggered backward. The albino boy swung his weapon down at her again, only to be intercepted by her hands catching it by clasping them in prayer position and kicked Inui dead center in the stomach, flinging him into the side of a bench as she tossed the pipe aside with a loud, echoey clatter.

“If you’re a real man, fight with your fuckin’ fists!” she shouted with a growl.

“Holy shit…” Chifuyu blurted out while watching the two against one fight. “She downed ‘em.”

“Told ya she could fight,” Mitsuya remarked and pulled himself up to support himself on the edge of one of the benches.

“Whoever she is, I’m glad she’s on our side,” Takemitchy added, staring on in astonishment she’s able to stand toe to toe with two Black Dragons captains. “She’s strong.”

“That’s Mitsuya-kun’s friend,” his partner answered.

“Wait…” Hakkai paused for a moment and then it all clicked when he saw her face. “T-that’s (Y/N)-chan?!” he exclaimed and immediately turned his head to see her mid-attack.

Mitsuya chuckled as his hand reached up to his forehead, examining how much blood he’s bled from Inui’s hit with the tips of his fingers. “Takemitchy, Chifuyu. Listen carefully.”

While the Toman members were formulating their plan, (Y/N) kept the two Black Dragon captains occupied. If she could at least whittle down their stamina to where they could turn the tides, she’d be satisfied with that.

“Where’s the gusto you had before huh?” Koko chided and wiped some blood from his face from the hits he received from her. “Your punches are gettin’ lighter.”

“Please. Yours are like mosquito bites,” she retorted back with a cocky smirk. “When you got nothin’ to protect, your fists will forever be light.”

A vein throbbed on Inui's temple, having the words hit a nerve. As he charged at her, Taiju suddenly came up from behind and took a shot at her with his right straight. She instinctively blocked with her arms in an X formation in the nick of time. The force of his punch slid her body back half of the walkway, feeling the tread of her boots warm up from the friction of the carpet.

“(Y/N)-san!” Chifuyu called.

“Shit,” she hissed out under her breath through gritted teeth. Her arms and knees shook from grounding herself from the impact of the hit, sapping half of her stamina.

“Ohh, not bad, girl,” the Dragon’s leader praised with a grin. “You were able to read the hit I put 75% of my strength into that instant and blocked it. I’ll give you that.”

“She’s tenacious,” Inui added and picked up the pipe off of the ground. “We should recruit her.”

“How ‘bout it, girl?” Koko offered with an arm stretched out toward her slumped form. “We can pay you a handsome sum to be under Black Dragons.”

“Shove it up your goddamn ass, shit stain!” she barked back in a Sendai dialect with annoyance. She noticed it only came out when she was pissed off. “Do I fuckin’ look like I can be bought by you fuckwits?!”

“That potty mouth though…” the platinum haired boy tutted. “So unlady-like.”

“Everyone has a price,” the black haired boy coolly replied and shrugged with a shit-eating grin.

“Maybe for you, shit for brains. My strength, respect and loyalty’s gotta be earned.”

This was looking bad; the damage from blocking Taiju’s punch was slowly catching up to her. She could still fight, but not at the condition before. (Y/N) then felt a pair of hand clap down both her shoulders; it was Toman’s first division.

“Thanks for holdin’ out,” Chifuyu thanked, his glaring blue green eyes not leaving Inui. “We’ll take it from here.”

--

Taglist: @netzukochannn @toobsessedsstuff

[theasstour]

𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟏𝟐.𝟏𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞

A/N: IT’S FINALLY HERE! ARCHITECT!HARRY! 🏛️❣️✨ It’s been ages since I posted writing on here and it feels good to be back! Believe me when I say that though nothing much happens in this chapter, something will go down in absolutely every chapter, so you’ll hopefully be entertained at one point AOIJFOIREJ! I absolutely adore architect!harry (yearly as much as I adore you lot), I hope you lot will too! Now, let’s start this journey, shall we? 🥰🌟

Friday, 15 September 2017

Monday September 8th 2014. Y/N had spent an abnormal amount of time thinking about that day over the last three years. Sometimes, even if she were in the middle of something else or thinking about a topic completely unrelated, it would just come back to her. Like a flash, as if someone turned on the dim light inside a dark room, she would be taken back to a time, a moment, that would be burned into her brain forever. It would paralyse her for a few seconds, making her unable to do or think or be anything besides that memory. It was almost like, at this point, she thought the ghost of her sister would never quite leave her.

The countless times she had recounted this specific memory, Y/N could never remember exactly what it was that had woken her that late Monday night, or morning rather, in September 2014. One second she was asleep, and then the next, she was awake. She remembered herself looking at the blinds of the window, how they weren’t fully closed that night for some reason, so the orange light from the streetlamp outside shone through the small slits, her room completely silent. This must have been what woke her up from her trance. The blinds were always closed, and the window was always open, letting in fresh air and the noises of Nottingham into her room. It was like her conscious had done it for her, alerted her that something was off and she needed to check her surroundings.

Y/N blinked, realising that the only sound in the room was her eyelids meeting and parting, and the rustling of her bedsheets as she made to sit up in bed. That was when she noticed a flicker of movement in the shadow beside her door. Something unexpected, something unlike what normally was.

“Hello?” Y/N asked, voice hoarse as she sat up completely in bed.

The room was quiet save for the sound of a trainer against Y/N’s carpeted floor. It was faint, and had Y/N’s window been open, she probably would not have heard it. She didn’t remember how she felt in that moment, it was like all emotion was stripped from that memory in order for her to objectively pick it apart over and over and over again. She could therefore not remember how she had felt when she recognised her sister, but she knew she must have been shocked.

“Marcela?” Y/N asked when she recognised the short brown hair of her sister in the shadow on the wall.

A small sigh and Y/N’s older sister stepped forward, letting the dim light of the outside streetlamp wash over her. Y/N had always envied her older sister for right about anything. The colour of her brown eyes, the way her hair looked almost bronze-coloured if the sun hit it just right on late summer afternoons, her wide and pretty smile, charming personality, and slim body were some of the many things that Y/N was jealous of. It just seemed like her sister lived a better, more eventful and meaningful life than Y/N ever would.

Even standing there, wearing a white and lilac floral summer dress, dungaree jacket and white Vans, in the middle of the night or early morning, Y/N thought Marcela had everything together. But whatever happened next to Y/N’s sister, Marcela could never have had it fully together, Y/N realised that now. Nothing that gruesome, that unknowable, could happen to someone who had it all figured out.

“Mari, what’re you doing here?” Y/N asked, reaching for her glasses on the nightstand and pushing them onto her face. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Newport?”

“Yeah,” Marcela answered, smiling at Y/N as if her being in her little sister’s room that late at night, when the world was asleep, was completely normal.

“What’re you doing here?” Y/N asked again.

“I forgot some things. Kit and I are on the way back. He’s waiting in the car.”

In that moment, Y/N did not think to ask Marcela of what exactly her sister had forgotten in Y/N’s room, which was again something she had beaten herself up for since.

“Y/N,” Marcela said, cocking her head to the side and smiling ever so slightly. “You should be asleep.”

Y/N forgot how to speak, just looking at her older sister as her still slow and sleepy brain tried to comprehend what was going on.

“It’s late, you’ve got school tomorrow.” Marcela walked backward towards the door, still directing that same reassuring smile at Y/N on the way there. “You know how grumpy you’re gonna be tomorrow morning if you don’t get your eight hours.”

“When will you be back?”

Marcela smiled. “Next weekend. I told you this.”

Y/N nodded again, feeling like this was all some sort of hallucination. Maybe it was just a dream.

Marcela held up her right hand and showed off the tattoo just below her thumb. One letter, for Y/N. Y/N’s hand immediately fell to the M just below her own right thumb. A M for Marcela. They had gotten it four months earlier for Y/N’s 16th. Y/N still remembered how scared she was, she did not want to be in pain. Marcela had informed her that it would hurt, but it would all be worth it in the end. Her sister had gotten a few tattoos, most of them up and down her arms, but Y/N knew she wanted even more of them. Y/N supposed her love for tattoos had started because of her sister. After her sister died, Y/N had just gone on to get more and more tattoos. She supposed it had been a coping mechanism in the beginning, to somehow feel close to Marcela, yet forget about her and everything for a little while as the smell of fresh ink, the sound of the needle, and the feel of a tingling pain took over all she knew.

“I’ll be back next weekend. Promise. Just let me have this week with Kit, yeah?”

Y/N swore she could hear a slight tremor to her sister’s voice. However, Marcela was not shaking as she took a hold of the door handle, and she did not look the slightest bit scared or like she was crying for help. No, she just looked like the Marcela Y/N had always known. And that was the problem. Nothing had been out of the ordinary. Something had to have been out of the ordinary.

“Y/N?”

She blinked, realising that she had been fixated on the M tattoo by her thumb again. She would sometimes drift off like this, thrown back to that moment in time that haunted her still, three years later.

“Amorzinho?”

Y/N looked up at her father who glanced over his shoulder at her, a slight furrow to his brows as if he knew exactly where she had just been. Davi and Y/N had always understood each other like that, especially after everything with Marcela happened three years ago. They would sometimes just find the other one staring out into thin air, or at something significant to Marcela, and the other would know right away where the other one had gone. Y/N did not know what memory her papai went back to, she never asked and, quite frankly, did not want to know. That whole experience was hard enough as it was, she had enough with her own memories and regrets.

“Y/N, you alright?” Davi asked, reaching for his daughter’s knee and squeezing it lightly. His positioning was a bit awkward from where he sat in the passenger seat and she sat right behind him in the car, but she felt reassured by his tender action nevertheless.

“Alright, pai,” Y/N answered, laying her hand on top of his.

Her father had always been the affectionate type. He would always go around touching the people that meant the most to him, whether it was a light caress to their cheek, a squeeze to their shoulder, a long hug, or a kiss to their cheek. Having grown up with a single mother and an older sister, he had learned from the best, and had not changed, even for his wife who had never been huge on showing affection. Y/N guessed that, in the case of her parents, opposites really did attract.

Where her father was loud, welcoming, and vulnerable, her mother was a bit more reserved, quiet, and tough. However, when Lottie had, at the ripe age of 24, travelled around South America with her mates after finishing her business degree, she had met Davi in Santos in Southern Brazil, the state of São Paulo, and they had fallen in love right away. It took a year for Lottie to leave Santos after that, bringing her then fiancé with her home to meet her family in Nottingham. Since then, the two of them had been together, and had brought Marcela and Y/N into this world.

It would be weird to not spend every single day with her parents. Everything was about to change drastically. The last time abrupt and extreme change had happened was that morning when Y/N’s parents realised Marcela hadn’t made it home from their cabin in Newport, Wales in time. It had been the day she disappeared. When they had gotten the news that she was murdered.

Y/N hoped her papai couldn’t tell that she was shaking.

“It’s not far now,” Lottie said from the driver’s seat. “Just a few minutes.”

Y/N nodded, looking out at the busy streets of North London as they drove on.

“You know what?” Davi said.

“What?”

“I think this is gonna be amazing.”

Y/N smiled at that, squeezing her father’s hand. “Yeah… I think it might be, too.”

“You will meet so many new people and learn so much. It will be the best time of your life.”

“I’ve told you, love. University was the absolute best time of my life.”

Davi looked at his wife.

Lottie clicked her tongue. “Oh, you know what I mean!”

“I do not. You say the best thing to ever happen to you is me, and yet-“

“-Darling, uni was the best time of my life, but meeting you was the best thing to happen to me.”

Davi threw his hands up in the air in exaggerated frustration, muttering something in Portuguese that Y/N did not catch. However, she couldn’t help her slight chuckle, and the grin on her face only widened when she saw her mother smiling, and then her father taking her hand, planting a lingering kiss to her skin before putting it back on the steering wheel. It was nice to witness casual affection between them like this. It was normal for Y/N to see it at this point, they had been like this her entire time growing up, but it was nice to be reminded that her parents loved each other.

“We’ll be on Orsman Road in five minutes tops,” Lottie said, looking back at Y/N as she stopped at a red light. “Nathan’s gonna meet you outside with your flat keys and such, yeah?”

“Yeah, he said he’d pick them up for me at the letting firm before I arrived.”

“Good,” Davi said.

“It’s nice that you get to move into an actual flat your first year of uni so that you get to be with someone you already know,” Lottie said. “As long as the uni’s got your address and knows you’ve got someplace to live, not living in uni accommodation is alright, if I understand correctly.”

“That’s what they said, anyway,” Y/N said.

“You just need a home. You’ll be home with Nathan.”

Y/N nodded, looking out at Hackney as they drove on. “Yeah.”

“He’ll take you to campus after, yes? So you can register and everything?”

Though Y/N had gone over this plan with her parents countless of times these last three hours, as well as the days leading up to departure, it seemed that her mum needed to be reminded one too many times. Taking a deep breath, Y/N said, “Yes.”

“Good. It’s important that you make it there by your time slot at 5. Reckon there’s heaps of students that are going to register at Helmond today.”

“Probs.”

“It’s important to be on time.”

“We will be.”

“Yeah, remember-“

“-Charlotte,” Davi said, putting his hand on his wife’s thigh. “Y/N’s got it under control.”

Lottie chanced a look at Davi as she turned off the main road and onto a smaller one. Y/N recognised this street from the FaceTime calls with Nathan where he had shown her around the street and flat. Though Y/N had been looking forward to this day for what felt like centuries, parts of her were still nervous, and Nathan’s video guides around her new flat and new neighbourhood had calmed her nerves considerably. She felt like she had already been here, but she could not wait to explore the areas of Hoxton and Hackney that she had yet to see.

As they drove down Orsman Road, Y/N could make out a figure in the distance that she felt like she had not seen in ages. A grin was instantly planted on her face and she fidgeted in her seat, wanting to jump out of the car and in Nathan’s direction. Her tall, lanky, slim, red-haired best friend stood by the entrance to what Y/N assumed would be 36 Orsman Road, squinting in the direction of Y/N’s car. At the sight of it, he started jumping up and down, waving enthusiastically as if he was stranded on a deserted island and a plane was flying by over him. Davi laughed, recognising his daughter’s best friend from the countless sleepovers, dinner parties, and drives home drunk from house parties on the other side of town.

Nathan banged on the window as Lottie parked the car by the side of the road, walking as the car was reversed into place, grinning at Y/N the entire time.

“Oh, my life,” Nathan said through the window, hands pressed against it. Y/N pressed her own against his. “I swear, you’ve taken ages. Thought you were gonna stand me up there.”

“Mate,” Y/N said, opening the car and throwing herself into Nathan’s arms. “Couldn’t miss going to uni with you, could I?”

Nathan squealed and hugged Y/N back, though he had to bend at an unnatural angle in order to do so.

“Nate, how are you?” Lottie asked as her and Davi started unloading the boot of the car, putting bags and boxes on the pavement to be carried upstairs.

“Can’t complain, Lottie, I really can’t. Just moved into a flat with me mates, we might go out tonight, and I have the pleasure of seeing your beautiful face today.”

Lottie laughed, squeezing Nathan’s arm before putting one of Y/N’s bags on her shoulder.

“Right, it’s the first and second floor,” Nathan explained, and upon seeing Davi’s confused expression, added, “It’s split-level.”

“Ahh!”

“Right.” Nathan bent down, taking one of the cardboard boxes. “I’ll show the way.”

“Stay behind, will you, darling?” Lottie asked Davi. “Just so we don’t leave anything on the pavement for anyone to nick.”

“Yes, you go ahead,” Davi answered, waving them off.

Nathan opened the front door and let Y/N and Lottie enter first. From the video calls, Y/N knew that once she arrived at the first story landing, the door to the left would be her and Nathan’s flat. Her new home. She was unsure if it would really dawn on her that she was going to be living on her own, without her parents, for the next three years, two of which were spent with Nathan in this flat. Living without her parents seemed liberating, but also terrifying. How was she going to survive without her papai’s cooking? Without the sound of her mother’s sewing machine? Without hearing their laughter as they watched something on the telly in the living room right below her room? How would she just go on living normally without them being close, like they had been all her life?

Nathan used his elbow to open the door and walked on in first this time to hold the door open for Y/N and her mum. Now, with her own two eyes, Y/N took in the place she would be living in over the next year, maybe two. The foyer they entered wasn’t long, but it had no particular furniture in it except for a painting on the wall opposite the stairs. Y/N suspected the landlord had printed out the popular painting and put it in a frame.

To her left was a slim white door – which matched the rest of the walls of the flat – that she knew to be the very spacious wardrobe. She would put her cardboard boxes and bags there once she was done unpacking, at least that was what Nathan had told her over FaceTime because he had done just that himself. To the right was another white door, this one with a window over it, and yet again, she knew this was where the kitchen would be. The door was open as she walked by, so she sneaked a look at it. The European Oak parquet stood in nice, warm contrast to the white cupboards and black countertops that went along the right wall and the wall right opposite to the door. Above the counter to the right, along the white tiled wall, was a long and small window. The view was nothing to brag about, just a greyish brick building and the pub on the other side of the road, The Stag’s Head.

Further along, the door into the living room stood open. As Lottie studied the kitchen, Y/N stood in the doorway to the shared space to just take a good look with her own two eyes. This, along with the bedrooms upstairs, was the only place in the flat with carpeted floor. The grey carpeted floor looked worn, as if it had been stepped on and used for countless of years prior, there were stains some places from what Y/N could only assume to be red wine and coffee. The left wall had four sets of windows; two smaller ones on the side and two bigger ones in the middle, where the smaller ones were the only ones it seemed that the tenants could open. The windows overlooked Regent’s Canal and the dark brown brick buildings on the other side. Not the prettiest view, but then, they were students and there weren’t many places in Haggerston, London that offered something pretty to look at.

Right underneath the windows, there was a radiator, and right beside that, positioned with its back against the wall opposite to the door where Y/N stood, was a blue sofa. In front of it, positioned against the wall facing it, was a table where a small telly was propped. A PlayStation was already plugged in and Y/N hoped it would be possible for her to somehow play Mario Kart on it as any other games did not interest her. Beside the sofa and the wooden coffee table in front of it, stood a red Poäng Ikea armchair with a footrest to match. That one also looked as worn as the rest of the living room. Y/N was sure that if she sat down, the chair would simply give out and turn to dust under her.

“Up we go,” Nathan said, walking straight past Y/N and up the stairs that leaned against the wall opposite to the living room and kitchen.

Before following her best friend, Y/N looked out through the windowed door, leading out to a mini terrace. You could barely fit two people out there, but she reckoned it would be a lush way to start her mornings. A fresh cuppa and the dreary sight of Haggerston.

“Y/N, you coming?!” Nathan called, making Y/N jump.

She looked back at her mum who just flashed a tight-lipped smile her way. Taking that as a good enough sign, Y/N followed Nathan upstairs. The hallway she was then presented with looked exactly like the one downstairs. However, right in front of her were two doors; the one to the left leading to the small toilet room, and the one beside it to the sink and shower. There was a door to her right as she came upstairs, two to her left, and another one right above where the terrace would be downstairs. That was the room Nathan was in now, putting down Y/N’s cardboard box.

“I’ll run downstairs and let Davi up so he can have a look,” Nathan smiled, walking past Y/N and Lottie to run down to the ground floor again.

The only things the room had to offer were a queen-sized bed, which at 204cm, took up all the space from wall to wall, but luckily enough, there was a drawer behind the door where Y/N could at least put all her clothes. This was the smallest room she had ever lived in.

“This is… rather spacious,” Lottie said, walking over to the windows above the bed and opening them both to let some fresh air in.

“Can’t really expect much if I’m gonna live in London, though. And I’m a student.”

“Precisely.” Lottie took her hands on her hips, looking out at the view from Y/N’s window. It was the same one as from the terrace just under them. The weather that day had been just as nice as Y/N had suspected of the South; a little-too-hot early autumn afternoon, partly cloudy, with busy pavements and crowded parks. She knew that the weather would soon match what she was used to from the Midlands. Even though she would now live farther south, she knew lousy weather was just as likely in London as it was in Nottingham. Y/N was suddenly very happy her mother had opened the windows to let in some of the canal wind.

A small sniffle sounded, and Y/N immediately looked to Lottie who still had her face turned away from her daughter.

“Mum?”

“Look at that!” Davi exclaimed, entering the room with a massive grin on his face.

The different reactions her parents had to the flat just reminded Y/N of how different they were.

“I know, pai,” Y/N said, looking around her room. “A wee bit small, but I’ve never needed much, have I?”

“With all those clothes you’ve brought?!” Lottie asked, looking down at the bag where Y/N’s clothes were, still not meeting anyone’s gaze. “You have too much clothes for your own good. When do you even use most of it?”

“Well, I don’t usually bring out the crop tops and see-through shirts for family gatherings, mum. Might be it.”

“Thank God.”

Y/N watched her mum for a few seconds, knowing something was wrong the moment she started fussing over the bare bed in front of her.

“You need a nightstand,” Davi pointed out, walking over to stand by the bed, indicating with his hand where the nightstand would go. “And a desk.”

“Nathan and I talked about popping by an Ikea. Nearest one’s in Greenwich, I think. Or Wembley.”

“Good! Nathan hasn’t brought his car down, has he?” Davi asked.

“No, he left it-“

“-Speaking of Nathan, I’ll go downstairs and let him carry the last box upstairs.” Before either Davi or Y/N could say anything else, Lottie was out the door and down the stairs, walking down to the car again.

Y/N looked at her papai, seeing a slight furrow to his brows as he regarded his wife retreating downstairs.

“What’s wrong?” Y/N asked in a low voice, listening to the sound of her mother’s footsteps down the stairs.

Davi met Y/N’s eyes, shrugging one shoulder. “Think she’s a little sad.”

Y/N bit the side of her mouth, sighing slowly.

“It’s a weird day. You’re moving away to University, and last time… last time we drove one of our daughters away like this, she didn’t come home.”

For some reason, Y/N had seen something like this happening. Though her mother had a weird way of showing it, she was constantly terrified after what happened to Marcela, and she was especially protective of Y/N. It had been hard for Lottie to let Y/N have any sort of social life that first year after Marcela. She would want to know everything about where Y/N was heading, who would be there, what they were going to do, and when Lottie could come and pick her up. Though this had been alright in the beginning - Y/N had known even then that it must be her mother’s way of coping with everything – it got a bit much as months, and then years went on. Y/N loved her mother, she really did, but she acted as if Y/N could not protect or take care of herself, something she was more than capable of.

“Pai, I won’t die at uni.”

“I know,” Davi said, wrapping an arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “But your mother still has a hard time taking it all in. You won’t be home, and she won’t have you near anymore. It’ll be a lot.”

Y/N nodded, resting her head back against her papai’s arm.

“Cosy moment,” Nathan smiled as he entered the room with the last box, placing it down on the floor beside the other ones.

“Is mum downstairs?” Y/N asked.

“Yeah, she’s by the car. Think she’s waiting for you two.”

Y/N and Davi nodded, Davi then taking a last look around his daughter’s room, smiling as he already knew she would make the bleak setting one many would envy. Y/N, after all, had always had a sense for these kinds of things.

“I’ll wait in my room, which is the one by the toilet,” Nathan informed, pointing to the open door behind him. “Just come knock when you’re ready to head for the uni, yeah?”

“Yeah, I’ll only be a minute.”

“No worries, babes, take all the time you need.”

Y/N smiled, walking past Nathan while Davi gave him a hug, wishing him good luck to come in the approaching first semester of University. It would be Nathan’s second year, so he knew what he was going into compared to her, but she knew Nathan appreciated Davi’s encouraging words regardless.

Y/N walked down towards the ground floor, her papai right behind her as they exited the flat building. Lottie stood by the car, arms crossed and eyes on something further up the street. It was as if she was looking for something, making sure it was safe for her Y/N to live there without her mother’s supervision.

“Mum,” Y/N said, now recognising the worry on her mother’s face. “Mum, it’ll be alright.”

She walked straight for her mother, wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace. Though it would normally have been the other way around, the parents reassuring their kid they would be fine on their own, Y/N now patted her mother on the back and felt her bury her face into her daughter’s shoulder. Davi walked over as well, placing a hand on Lottie’s arm, squeezing her lightly. Some time went by without any one of them saying anything, just feeling and processing the words left unsaid.

Soon, Davi let out a small sigh, hugging the back of Y/N’s frame and mumbling her name against the top of his daughter’s head.

“We’re going to miss you,” he said, leaving a kiss against her hair.

Too caught up in her mother’s sadness, Y/N did not realise until just then that this was the moment she had been dreading. This one, where she stood by her parents’ car, saying goodbye to them and watching them start on their drive back home to Nottingham without her.

It was a complex state of being. Going away to University, starting a new life for herself, was something Y/N had dreamed of for as long as she could remember. She wanted to experience new things and to study something she was passionate about. But part of her was still pulling her back towards Nottingham, home. It would feel wrong, maybe even like being abandoned, thrust into adult reality, when she watched her parents drive off.

The thought of her living in the biggest city in the country by herself, did not sit right with her in that second. She was suddenly six again, her papai teaching her how to ride a bike. She was eleven, getting her period for the first time and her mother showing her how to use a pad. She was sixteen, having forgotten she had an important maths exam the next day, resulting in her and Davi sitting up for hours until she knew what she was doing. She lived at home, where her parents could protect her, help her, guide her, and provide for her at any given second. They would always be there whenever she needed them, always close and ready to pour every ounce of love onto her.

But now, even though she knew her parents would still love her the same and always be at her service whenever she needed them, now they would live separate lives. She would still be part of their lives and they would be part of hers, but they would not intermingle, get stuck, and weave themselves together like they had done since Y/N’s day of birth and until now. Y/N had not lived a single day in her life where she had not physically been close to her parents in one form or another. She had known it would be hard to watch them leave, she knew she would hate herself for this once she sat in her room all alone that same night or when researching information for an essay in a month’s time. Even though part of her was looking forward to what was to come, another part did not want to be left. She wanted a new life, but she was terrified of letting the old one, the safe one, go.

“Oh, my baby,” Lottie said as she pulled away, taking Y/N’s face in her hands. “My wee Y/N.”

Y/N went back in for another hug just so her mother wouldn’t see how glassy her eyes were. She felt them stinging and knew she would shed a tear soon.

“You will have no problems at uni,” Davi said, squeezing his daughter.

“How do you know that?” Y/N mumbled into her mother’s shoulder, closing her eyes as to make sure no tears escaped. She felt pathetic, but the overwhelming realisation that her parents would leave her in a few minutes had hit her like a brick.

“Because we know you. We know you’ll make friends; we know you’ll excel.” Davi took a step away, placing both hands on her shoulders. “Deep down, you know that, too.”

“As much as I hate the fact that I won’t get to see you every single day or know what you’re doing, I know you’re going to love being at University and you’re going to love London,” Lottie said, rubbing Y/N’s back.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Y/N sounded like a wee child, refusing to let her parents leave her at kindergarten for seven hours.

Davi squeezed Y/N’s shoulders again. “It’ll be alright, querida.”

“You don’t know that.”

“But I do. You feel like this now because this is a huge change. University is the beginning of adult life, it’s scary, but you’ll love it.”

Y/N chose not to argue with her papai as she knew he was only trying to make her feel better. And also, though she did not want them to leave, she knew that the longer she stayed there with them, the higher the risk was for her to bawl her eyes out into her mum’s shoulders. Slowly, making sure to wipe her eyes discreetly against her mother’s shoulder, Y/N stepped away from her parents, trying to smile at them both. She knew they could tell she was about to cry, but was grateful that neither one of them pointed it out.

“Goodbye, my baby,” Lottie said, stroking Y/N’s cheek. “Please call us tonight or tomorrow, we want to see your room when it’s all finished.”

Y/N nodded. She always kept her mouth shut when she was about to cry, it was as if speaking made all emotion float out of her through her open mouth, and she started crying uncontrollably.

“We’ll see you soon,” Davi smiled. “Remember to have fun, yes? This is going to be so much better than you think.”

She smiled, watching her father sit down in the passenger side and her mother climb into the driver’s side.

“Remember your time slot, Y/N. Remember to get to the uni on time to register-“

“-Lotts,” Davi warned.

“Right, alright,” Lottie sighed, getting the car going. She turned back to Y/N one last time blowing her a kiss. “Love you.”

“Te amo!” Davi shouted, waving and grinning at his daughter.

Y/N was left standing there looking after the car as her parents drove off. She was unable to move for a moment, the only thing she managed to do was stare after the car until it was out of sight. When it was, Y/N felt an instant sort of empty feeling in her stomach. She was on her own. Her parents were on their way back to Nottingham, and she was here. In London. Alone. Momentarily, Y/N’s excitement about uni and everything she would experience these next three years, was all insignificant. The lack of her parents’ presence was like stripping reality of warm colour, replacing them with the dreary and cold.

She felt her eyes begin to sting and let one tear roll down her cheek. Then, wiping the next few off her face, she started making her way up to her new flat. She closed the ground door behind her, and then the front door of the flat when she reached it. Nathan was out on the balcony with a cigarette in one hand and his phone in the other. He did not notice Y/N as she walked up to her room again and she was very happy he did not.

Walking straight for the bathroom, the door right in front of the stairs once you reached the first storey of the split flat, Y/N closed and locked the door afterwards. She turned water on, scooped some coldness into her hands and splashed it over her face. Without hesitating, she did it again, turning the tap off before looking at herself in the mirror above the sink. She wiped the water off her face with the sleeves of her jumper, cursing herself for not having brought a towel in with her.

“You’re a bad bitch,” she hissed at her reflection. “Why’re you crying?”

A small gasp left Y/N’s lips and she turned the tap on again, splashing her face with more cold water. She had no idea if it was helping any, but she had a strange sense that by doing it, she would feel better afterwards. However, looking at herself in the mirror again, she did not feel the least bit better.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked herself in a whisper. “Can you stop crying? There’s literally no need to cry.”

But there was, her brain retorted, and that alone brought more tears to her eyes. Y/N knew that had she been driven down here by her parents to be on holiday for a week or two, she would not have cried. Maybe she would have cried the day before going home because she would rather be in London than Nottingham because she loved it so much, but she would not have cried when her parents drove off. In fact, she was sure she would have loved to see them go and known she was free to do whatever she wanted, when she wanted.

But this was different. She lived in London now. Her mother couldn’t just come whenever Y/N needed her, and her papai couldn’t stop whatever he was doing to help her with whatever she was struggling with. It was a new life. A new beginning. And she had to do it all alone. She was used to being alone by choice, she didn’t like this feeling of alone.

“Y/N?!” Nathan called as he walked up the stairs. “Y/N, you in your room?!”

Taking a deep breath and wiping a little excess water off her cheek, she unlocked the bathroom door and stepped outside just as Nathan stood in the doorway of her room. Nathan took one look at her and said, in a quiet and low tone, “They left?”

Y/N inhaled slowly. “Yeah.”

Nathan walked over to her, bringing her in for a hug. Y/N hugged him back tightly, appreciating the reassurance. She knew she wasn’t alone, she had Nathan after all, but it was still strange to be here without her parents.

All her time throughout school, Y/N had looked forward to moving away to University. Her and Nathan had planned out their lives once they got to uni, in detail, and could spend hours on end just making plans for Freshers Week and the parties they would attend. Having been friends since year three of school, the two of them had made a lot of plans throughout the years. Most of the plans, they had never gone through with, but it was still fun to imagine. Neither could remember what exactly had gotten them to talk to one another that first time, but they had always suspected it was their mutual friend, Ella, who had gotten them talking. Since then, Nathan and Y/N had been inseparable.

They always did the stupidest things together, annoying all their friends and family. They got their license on the same day, would often sleep out in one of their gardens just because they could, always made the other a Build-a-Bear for their birthday, knew each other’s favourite scents, tastes, turn ons and turn offs, and everything in between. It was a friendship that was seen as maybe a little too close, but once you found your soulmate, there were no boundaries anymore. At least that was how Y/N and Nathan saw it. Besides, there was a sense of bond between them that only people identifying as queer could understand. Though neither of them had known at the age of seven when they met that they would grow up to identify as gay and bisexual, they knew now that their bodies, on some level, had known, and therefore drawn them to one another.

When you’re around other people from the LGBT community, there is not only a sense of understanding between you, but also undeniable, immeasurable comfort and support. No matter what. It’s a home, someplace to be completely you, without feeling like you need to tone it down or be ashamed, something the outer world sometimes could make you think you needed to. Y/N was therefore incredibly happy that her, as a bisexual, had found Nathan, who was himself with his whole heart, and who encouraged her to be the same.

“You ready to go to uni?” Nathan asked.

“Yeah, I’ll just change into a tee shirt.”

Nathan let go of her and followed her into her room.

Having always been plus size, Y/N broke a sweat rather easily. She therefore knew that she might freeze a bit in the beginning, but if her and Nathan were supposed to walk up and down stairs at tube stations and walk indoors at Helmond, she would need to wear a tee shirt to cool herself down some.

She took her jumper off, lobbing it on the still empty bed before she opened her bag filled with tops. She dragged a tee shirt out at random, taking a look at the black tee shirt with a white half moon embroidered onto the chest. Dragging it over her head, she walked to the full-body mirror that her mother had insisted on her bringing. She said there were rarely mirrors in student houses, and she was right. Looking at herself, Y/N ran a hand over her black denim shorts, studying how her faux leather sock boots went with the rest of her outfit. The chunky soles were amazing for walking, and she knew her feet would be aching by the time they got back home.

“Hmm,” Y/N said. “Might change into jeans, actually.”

“Why?” Nathan asked, furrowing his brows. “You look good in that.”

“I know, but the chafing.”

Nathan, who had heard this before, only nodded. With his noodle legs, he had never experienced chafing, and therefore did not say anything. Y/N knew this and appreciated him not trying to relate to her problems as a plus size woman. He could understand many of her problems, but never that.

Bringing her trouser bag forth, she got a pair of black jeans out, putting them on, making sure the sock boots were on the outside of the tight-fitted denim, and then the two of them were on their way. Y/N brought a tote bag, putting her phone, purse, and flat keys in it.

They arrived at Haggerston tube station on Lee Street, and once they were there, Nathan helped Y/N set up her Oyster card. The card would be an easier payment method for public transport around London, and though she could easily just tap her bank card, an Oyster card was, according to Nathan, a better way of doing it.

“You can use it for right about anything,” Nathan explained as they stood by the Overground platform, waiting for the Crystal Palace / New Cross / West Croydon train to arrive. “We’re talking Underground, Overground, Tramlink, all buses, River Services, you name it.”

“You always take the tube to uni.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Nate, you literally send a snapchat every single day before you go to uni of you sitting on the Overground.”

Nathan tutted, shaking his head. “I also walk.”

“When?”

“Blimey, I can walk. I do have legs, have you seen them?”

“Pretty hard to miss when they take up 80% of your body.”

Nathan gasped, nudging Y/N before the two of them laughed. The train arrived, and they got onboard, sitting down on one of them orange seats along the walls. They got off at Whitechapel, weaving past people to get to the Underground this time. They took an escalator down to the District and Hammersmith & City lines, Y/N following Nathan as he made a right turn for the Eastbound route.

“I know that exact walk, from the Overground to the District Line, like the back of my hand,” Nathan said, grinning proudly as they stepped aboard the train, holding onto the pole in between two doors. The doors closed, and Y/N had to hold on tight as not to faceplant onto the tube floor. That would not have been an ideal way of starting her conversion into a proper Londoner.

“Thought you said you walked to uni as well.”

“Well, I still do!”

“Alright.” Y/N nodded. “When’re we getting off?”

“Stepney Green.”

“This is Stepney Green. Change here for Hammersmith & City-“

Y/N raised her eyebrows at Nathan. “Really? Not even one stop?”

“Leave off, you hag.”

“Please, mind the gap between the train and the platform edge.”

The two walked up to the surface again and started on their ten-minute walk to Helmond from there. Y/N thought it would take them longer to get there considering she was a slow walker, something Nathan always had to consider when walking around with her, but it did not. The lack of her parents’ presence still hung in the air around her, it was still thick as fog, and she knew the longing for their closeness would not clear away within the next few days, but the moment she set her eyes on her University, she forgot about everything for just a little bit.

Helmond, University of London rose up before them in beautiful red and white bricks, shining in the late September sun like a lone castle in the middle of a vast and dark forest. It felt like Y/N had been without food and water for days, and the sign of the castle, the sign of life, brought a new sense of meaning to her. The massive University took up an entire 175-acre rectangle in London, enrolling a total of 20 thousand students, and being the second biggest London University for that reason alone, only barely beaten by Battersea, University of London, who hosted 35 thousand. Regardless, Helmond was the oldest uni in London, the first one to be established in the capital in 1817. Y/N felt very small looking at it, even though it wasn’t a particularly tall building, but she knew how big it was from the Open Day she had spent walking around campus grounds with her parents.

Nathan led Y/N over to the stairs and the two walked on in. It was like stepping right into a Renaissance painting. The ceilings were tall and vaulted, grand pillars against the walls up and down the halls. This hall was white, but Y/N knew that in other places in Helmond, the ceilings were painted, making it look like a sort of Versailles rip-off.

Immediately as you walked in, you stepped into the entry hall that was filled with first years trying to find their way around the uni. Right ahead was the reception area and a statue of Victor Helmond, the founder of the school and the first headmaster. To Y/N, he looked right about just like those old statues from the 1800s did, he was no different with his medium height, messy hair, and beard. Through the tall French windows behind the reception and statue, Y/N glimpsed one of the two massive courtyards in the middle of the University. 

The uni was built around two quads, separating them was another quad just behind a red and white brick bridge, making it easier for students to get to lectures on time instead of walking their way through the long hallways, past lecture halls, cafeteria, and shops. Y/N could envision herself walking that bridge quite a few times over the next few years. There was another statue in the middle of the courtyard Y/N could see now, red and white tiled paths leading up to the fountain it stood on from each of the four walls facing it. The other courtyard was a replica of this one, only the statue was different. The one Y/N could see was Victor Helmond’s wife, Maud, and she knew that in the other courtyard, there was a statue of Queen Victoria. She had been told all of this on her Open Day months ago.

People were sitting in the grass of the quads, either with books in their hands or surrounded by friends. No one looked to have a care in the world, not even another oncoming year at uni. Y/N wished she could be as relaxed as them, and told herself that at one point, when she felt more at home here, she would.

“Coming?” Nathan asked after a little while, walking backwards while keeping his eyes on Y/N.

“Yeah.”

She followed him and the two walked further down the hall where there was a queue. Nathan stopped there and smiled at Y/N, nodding in the direction of the open door.

“Won’t be too long, there are tons of student representatives standing there, so it’ll take us ten minutes,” Nathan explained.

And he was right, it did not take them long to get to the front of the queue. They were stood in what Y/N could only assume to be a room specifically used for meetings. The table was fixed to look like a horse shoe, right about ten student representatives standing there, helping to register those that were there to start their first year.

“Next!” a woman called, and with one last look at Nathan, Y/N walked in her direction, giving her, what she hoped to be, a friendly smile as she approached.

“What’s your surname?” the student representative asked.

“Montes.”

She looked behind her, taking some time to find a M. She walked up and down the row of tables behind her, but once she finally came back to Y/N, she placed a manila folder on the table in front of her.

“Y/N Montes, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Studying English Literature?”

“Yup.”

“Brilliant,” the woman said, bending down to retrieve something more Y/N had to bring with her. “Just sign your name, date of birth, and the student halls you’re living in on the paper in front of you, please.”

“I don’t live in halls.”

“Ah, well, then you just write your address down. The uni just wants to know where you live, really. Especially if you’ve moved here to attend uni.”

Y/N nodded, taking the pen laid before her and writing under Jack Williams that had been before her.

“English Lit?”

After only having signed her name, Y/N looked up at the girl to her left who had just talked. She was looking straight at Y/N with a small smile on her face.

“I’m doing English Lit, too,” the girl said, her smile growing.

Y/N smiled back. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she blonde said, grinning now. “I’m Chloe.”

“Y/N.”

Chloe made a small bow. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“And yours.” Y/N cursed herself for not being funnier. This girl would not want to be her friend if she wasn’t funny.

“Not to be like this,” the bloke helping Chloe out said. “But could you do this outside? We need to register more people.”

“Of course,” Chloe said, sounding a little too charming for her own good. She glanced back at Y/N, hugging her manila folder to her chest. “See you around, Y/N.”

“And you.”

Y/N’s entire chest burst with a sort of contentment only strange encounters could bring forth. It was a sort of reminder that Y/N was appreciated and seen by someone she barely knew; someone she appreciated and saw in return. Knowing that, even though they might not stay friends for their entire time at uni, they would at least lean on each other as lectures began. She could find Chloe and sit down next to her, and it would not be weird.

“Wicked,” Nathan said as Y/N came walking in his direction with the Helmond folder in her hands. “Now, let’s go for dinner. I’m famished.”

And so they did. They stopped by a pub on the way home, staying there for two hours just talking, eating and drinking. It was nice to finally be with Nathan again. He had been in London for well over a month, and as much as Y/N wanted to come down there, she needed all those hours of work to earn money for uni. New Look did not pay well, but at least she had a bit of money to use right off the bat. She’d need a new job, though. And fast.

This time around they walked back to the flat, taking the hour it took to just take in the stroll that Y/N knew she would take more than she would take the tube. There was just a lot to look at, and no hills, meaning that the stroll would not kill her. Another bonus was the time she would get to spend just listening to music, something she adored. Once again, she completely forgot about her parents and them leaving, until they reached the flat an hour later. Remembering brought a white-hot ball of aching to Y/N’s stomach, making it hard for her to swallow properly. She assumed it would be like this for a few days, if not weeks. She’d have to find her place and her people before the feeling of longing for her parents and life back home in Nottingham, would dissipate.

It was very dark in the flat when they finally got home around 8. Nathan stumbled a bit when they walked through the door, making Y/N laugh her ass off. Nathan only flipped her off before urging her to walk on in. She did, taking her shoes off and leaving them by the door. The light in the kitchen was on, and because Y/N assumed they must have left it on before they left, she did not bother to take a proper sweeping look over the room before reaching for the light switch. She stopped.

Nathan was busy closing and locking the front door, humming to that Tinie Tempah song that was always played in any sort of club setting. He must have been clubbing the night before, she reckoned. The rest of the flat was quiet. It was left in darkness. It was therefore weird to Y/N that she saw a hallucination in the middle of the lit-up kitchen. Would it not have been wiser of her brain, a bit scarier also perhaps, to put that hallucination in the corner of her dark room? Why was she seeing it right there, in the kitchen, in vivid detail? She wouldn’t remember ever having hallucinated… him. Her sister sometimes showed up, but Y/N never saw her in detail, only as she remembered her from that last time she saw her. But this… this was different. Y/N fucking hated it.

“Y/N,” he said, voice darker than she remembered it.

Blinking a few times to get the sight of him out of her head, she turned the lights off and turned to Nathan who struggled taking his shoes off, now humming to another song.

“Nate, literally shut up. Chainsmokers is rank.”

“Oi! Closer is a fucking belter!”

“Y/N, could you turn the lights back on, please?”

There it was again. His voice. She closed her eyes and shook her head forcefully, as she did to get rid of Marcela’s image. With a hand on the strap of her tote bag, Y/N started on her journey towards the stairs.

“Oi, Y/N, why’re you leaving the man in the dark?” Nathan asked, frowning over at Y/N as she stopped moving. What… What did Nathan just say? Had he seen Y/N’s hallucination as well? Were they both hallucinating? What had been in the two pints they’d just had? Nathan wasn’t drunk, was he?

She could tell by the yellow light that flooded into the hallway from the kitchen that Nathan had turned the lights back on. Slowly, she looked over her shoulder at Nathan, meeting his gaze right away. Nathan glanced into the kitchen, giving the hallucination a smile before asking, a little too casually, “You’re home early.”

“Work was slow. Let me off early so I could get a few extra hours sleep in before uni starts.”

Y/N shook her head again, walking over and putting a hand on Nathan’s shoulder to check if he was real and not just another hallucination. Nathan looked to Y/N right away, a deep furrow to his brows as Y/N felt his neck and cheek.

“Have you cracked your skull? What’re you doing?” Nathan asked.

“You can see him?” Y/N blinked at Nathan, nodding in the direction of the kitchen.

“Of course, I can see Harry. I’m not blind and I did develop the ability to sense another human beings’ presence when they’re in the same room as me. He’s standing right there, isn’t he?”

“No, he… he’s not…”

Y/N looked at the hallucination again then. Harry Styles. She had not thought about him in months, had not seen him in years. They had not been in each other’s proximity since he lived in Nottingham with his father three years ago. Had not spoken properly since that day in late August 2014 when they spent the night together. And there he was, standing in the kitchen of her new uni flat. She could not believe it. There were so many questions running through Y/N’s head in that second that she did not know which one to ask Nathan, who, it seemed, had no problem with Harry Styles being in their kitchen.

“Yes, he is,” Harry answered slowly, looking at Y/N with his eyebrows raised. They rose even higher up his forehead once he caught Nathan’s eye. “You didn’t tell her.”

“What?” Y/N looked at Nathan. “Didn’t tell me what?”

Nathan raised his shoulders in a shrug that Y/N knew was only done to buy her best friend some time. He pursed his lips, refusing to meet either of their eyes. “Might’ve slipped my mind.”

Harry cocked his head, putting the glass of milk he was holding back onto the counter. “Slipped… your mind?”

“I forgot.”

“You forgot?!”

“Y/N’s blind, you’re deaf. What’s next?”

“Nate, please, for the love of fuck, tell me you told her.”

“Nate?” That made Y/N retreat, two lines etched between her brows as she looked to Harry again, then back at Nathan. “You only let your mates call you that.”

Harry let out a short, high-pitched laugh. “Brilliant. You didn’t even tell her about me in general. What’s that about? You ashamed of me?”

“Oh, don’t take the piss, you wank-stain.” Nathan rolled his eyes. “I knew it would not go down very well.”

Harry crossed his arms. “And this way it would?”

“I was gonna sit her down and tell her, but I never got around to it. Alcohol called, she wanted us to have two pints at a pub.”

“Don’t blame this on a pint, you could’ve told her ages ago.”

“Can someone please,” Y/N called, making Nathan stop whatever he was about to say. “Tell me what the bloody hell is going on?”

Nathan and Harry looked at one another, exchanging a sort of glance Y/N could almost decipher, but in her confused state was too dizzy to try and comprehend. They stood like that for a few seconds, making grimaces at one another, having a telepathic argument that Y/N wanted in on.

“Hello?!” she called, making both boys jump and look at her again.

“Nathan,” Harry said, picking his glass of milk up again and taking a sip.

“Right,” Nathan sighed, turning his body in Y/N’s direction. “Y/N, Harry’s gonna be living with you for the rest of the year.”

Harry huffed. “Want me to move out next year, do you? Don’t wanna live with me our third year?”

“Oh, you know I do, but one year at a time, yeah? Don’t need to traumatise her more than necessary.”

Y/N did not know what to do. Out of all possible scenarios, out of all horrible happenings at University, she had not seen this one coming. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought this would ever happen. She quite frankly thought she had left Harry Styles behind her in her past, never to be in contact with or meet him again. But he was one of her new flatmates. She would be living with him for at least a year, two if she did not decide to move out. They had been each other’s first time, and then never spoke to each other again, despite everything else. That was three years ago, and now what? Were they supposed to talk it through? Were they supposed to ignore it? Ignore each other?

Y/N’s head was spinning, and it seemed the rest of the flat was spinning with her. Taking one last look at Harry and Nathan, she started walking in the direction of the stairs. Whatever the two were arguing about, they stopped the second they saw her strolling away.

“Oi, what’re you doing?” asked Nathan.

“I’m fucking going to my room to get away from you,” Y/N asked, voice razor sharp. “Unless you forgot to tell me there’s a corpse hidden inside my wardrobe?”

“It’s just 8. The night’s still young.”

“I don’t care.”

“Mate-“

“-Is there a corpse in my room? Or lice in my mattress? Or any other rather big news you’d like to tell me?”

Nathan must have known this would happen, but he still looked nervous as he shook his head, indicating that there was nothing else he was supposed to have told her but hadn’t.

“Good,” Y/N said. “I’ll deal with whatever kind of situation this is, tomorrow.” She paused. “Or maybe the day after that.” Another pause. “Fuck this. Fuck you.” She pointed at Nathan.

“I’m just trying to make us all be friends here,” he said. “Besides, don’t fuck me, I’m gay. And…” Nathan nodded in the direction of the kitchen where Harry stood. “You’ve already fucked him-“

“-I’ll literally murder you, Nathan,” Y/N hissed, and she swore she could hear a grunt of disapproval from Harry’s end as well, not having appreciated Nathan’s comment.

Without another look at them, she walked up the stairs and to her room, locking herself in there. It was then that she realised she hadn’t gotten her bed ready for the night. However, in her infuriated state, Y/N did not care. She got her pillow out from one of her bags along with her duvet, opening the windows to let some fresh air in and pulled the curtains close. She wasn’t really about to go to bed, but she knew that she would cry in not too long because she missed home, and her anger at Nathan and Harry did not help. If she got angry enough, she’d cry. Hard.

She could not believe this. It did not feel real. Ever since that night in August, she had not talked to Harry, and she did not think she ever would again. However, here she was, living in the same flat as him. It wasn’t as if their time together had been more awkward than they had anticipated, but the reason why she could not stand him was because, even though had kept every single other promise he’d ever made, he had not even done as much as look at her after they had sex. He had not called like he promised he would. Had not kept in contact with her after moving away. Had not been what he had promised he would be: different. A mate.

They had promised each other at the time that this would not be awkward, they would just get it over with, be awkward with one another, and then forget it ever happened. They would go back to being mates. But then Harry had shut her out, and they had not talked since. At times, when Y/N thought about this not too long after it had happened, she was scared that the entire reason why Harry had even been friendly in the first place was so they’d fuck and forget about one another. Sometimes it was easier to tell herself that than to remember all the lovely times. Y/N chose to repress those. He was not worth it.

She heard Nathan’s voice and then Harry’s along with footsteps. They were walking up the stairs, talking in hushed voices as if scared to wake anyone up. Y/N supposed it was the last flatmate that she had yet to meet, and considering how Nathan had not told her she would be living with Harry for the next year, she was scared to think who the last flatmate would be.

There was a knock at her door.

Y/N rubbed a hand over her face. “Drink piss.”

“Y/N, I just wanna talk.”

“No, Nathan.”

He jiggled the door handle. “Please.”

“Nathan, I need to be alone or else I’m sure I’m gonna fucking choke you till your eyes pop,” Y/N said. “Harry Styles, Nathan!”

“Yes, Y/N, I know!” Nathan said, sounding genuinely conflicted as well. “I know I should have told you he goes to Helmond! And that we’re mates here! I know!”

“Why didn’t you?”

“’Cause I knew you wouldn’t live with me if I told you,” Nathan admitted. “I had been looking forward to you coming here for so long, and Harry, Mason, and I kind of agreed to move in together. I told Harry, but he never had a problem with it, but I knew you would, because… well… everything that happened in Notts.”

Y/N rolled her eyes.

“But believe me that I didn’t do this as a way for you and Harry to, like, start talking again-“

“-‘Cause if you did-“

“-Oh, I know I would’ve been dead by now if that was the case, I know.” Nathan sighed. “Y/N, he’s not as much of a knob-“

“-He is a knobhead. Now, then, forever. Now, leave me alone.”

Nathan knew there was no way for him to make this any better. Once Y/N had made her mind up, it was hard to change her perspective on things. Getting her used to Harry, to living with him, to accepting this fate of hers, would take a very long fucking time.

Nathan said a small, “Later” from down the hall, and Harry replied with a “Have a good one” that seemed a bit closer somehow. Before she knew it, the door just beside hers opened, a small creak to it as Harry stepped in. It closed just after Nathan’s did, and Y/N heard the sound of footsteps from the room just beside hers. Not only was Harry Styles, the person who took her virginity, and Y/N Montes, the person who took Harry Styles’ virginity, living in the same flat. No, their rooms were also right next to one another. Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. Not only had she cried an abnormal amount today, sprained her ankle some on her walk home, and been uncharacteristically awkward when meeting new people, but she had also moved into the same house as her ex-friend.

Y/N turned her face, burying it into her pillow, and screamed.

Monday, 18 September 2017

There were people everywhere. Y/N was used to there being heaps of people everywhere she looked and did not mind crowds. She liked the company of people around her, the sounds of civilisation. In fact, it relaxed her much more than a calm countryside ever could. When walking through Canada Water, she did not mind people bumping into her or them walking right past her. It just showed signs of people and she loved that. She hated being alone, hated the sound of her own breathing and nothing to accompany her.

That was one of the reasons why she had looked forward to moving to London in the first place. She wanted the comfort of never being alone, of always having someone around, which she knew she would appreciate about London. Of course, she knew there were places in London she could go to be on her own, but she liked the idea of never, truly, being alone. The prospect of being alone, terrified her. She was never lonely, she had a lot of friends, she was close with her parents, but being alone, with no one else around, was something else entirely.

She did not feel lonely, even though she did not know any of the people around her at this precise moment in the tube station, she was surrounded by people and there was a comfort in that. Years & Years blasted from her earbuds and it was hard not to sing along when Desire went as hard as it did. So, instead of singing with her whole chest in the middle of the tube station, Y/N settled for miming the words with her mouth. She loved Years & Years more than she could articulate, so it was hard for her not to go crazy while listening to them. She could not wait for their second album to drop sometime next year.

Y/N walked towards the Eastbound platform as she reached the Jubilee line level. Nathan would be waiting for her at Ikea in Greenwich, as he had gone for a few other errands in the area, which ones Y/N did not know, but she had no problem meeting him there. However, she would have much more preferred it if he could have gone there with her, as she much more preferred to hang out with her friends than getting to places by herself. She just needed to take the Jubilee line to North Greenwich, and then take the 161 bus to Millennium Leisure Park East, and there Nathan would be waiting for her. That was all she had to do on her own, then she would have company.

She had not yet forgiven him for not telling her about Harry, but she didn’t have anyone else to take to Ikea, so she’d just have to ignore it until she had the energy to talk it through. Until then, she’d be passive aggressive and make Nathan feel bad for keeping it from her. Not the best way to go about it, she knew, but it would do for now.

The train arrived and Y/N waited patiently before she boarded it, letting the passengers that were already aboard get off before she started making her way on. Too anxious to sit down, Y/N took to standing by the pole just by the door she just entered, holding onto it with two other business men, neither who paid anyone on that train any attention as all of it were on the phone in front of them. Y/N reached for her phone then, typing out a message to Nathan that she was on her way. Or… at least she hoped she was.

“This is a Jubilee line train to Stratford; the next station is Canary Warf.”

Y/N let out a small sigh of relief, mentally patting herself on the back for managing to make it this far on her journey to Ikea Greenwich without getting completely lost. She felt her phone vibrate in her hand, and she immediately raised it to look at her new notification.

Nathan

Glad you’re finding your way around London, can be quite challenging

Nathan

Especially when you have a pea brain

Nathan

Like you do

Y/N snorted, started typing a text out right away as she held onto the blue pole for dear life.

Y/N

Scientists have been working for years to find a brain inside your gigantic head, seems it’s too small to be found, even under a magnifying glass

Because of poor reception, the text did not send, and the thought of being so low underground that she had trouble reaching her loved ones, suddenly scared her a bit. Y/N closed her phone and looked up at the tube map as the speaker overhead announced their arrival at Canary Wharf, people milling on and off the train.

Y/N saw something just before the door closed. She stopped breathing. It was only for a split-second, but she could swear she had seen something. She recognised the denim jacket, the hair, the smile. No matter the scenario, where she was, what was happening, Y/N would remember and make out her sister. She would recognise her anywhere. This was no different.

However, it had only been for a single second, not even that. The doors had closed before Y/N got to take a proper look. Right away, she closed her eyes tightly, willing her violently beating heart and pulse to slow down. It had just been a hallucination; it had not been real. I had just been a hallucination; it had not been real, and she continued to tell herself that until the train started driving away from the platform. Once she finally opened her eyes and looked out of the train windows, the darkness of the underground tunnels had surrounded them. Marcela was nowhere in sight.

Y/N leaned her forehead against the blue pole, feeling a slight layer of sweat over her cupid’s bow and forehead. The Marcela hallucination had affected her more than she thought it would have. Taking a deep breath, Y/N kept her eyes shut and her mind closed until she reached North Greenwich. Then, forcing the image of her sister away, Y/N walked off the train the second it stopped and almost ran for the exit and fresh air. Marcela was not alive; she had been dead for three years. She had been murdered three years ago. Neither hallucinations nor will would bring her back, it was time Y/N made her brain believe that as well.

NEXT UPDATE: Sunday, 28th February, 9PM GMT!

Huge thanks to my AMAZING beta readers! 🏛️ @aileenacoustic 🏛️ @devil-in-bw-the-sheets 🏛️ @sunflowerstache​ 🏛️ @fromyourstrulyh​ 🏛️

FIC PAGE | COME TALK !!!

[quindolyn]

🖊Can it be James writing a letter to y/n, but she’s dead and he writes letters to her time to time and “tells” her about everything going on, with the Marauders and Harry. P.S. y/n died basically protecting James and Harry(sorta how Lily did). And can it be a little sad...? But a bit happy as well? Thank you!:)

Warnings: really angsty, I actually like it but I liked it more as I was writing it than I did proof reading it, James angst might be the only fanfic that can make me cry and trust me I did

My Sunshine,

I know I haven’t written to you in a while and I’m sorry, life’s been hectic and every time I mean to sit down to write to you Harry starts crying, or Padfoot and Moony show up and I forget. I don’t like forgetting things about you, forgetting about you, but every time I look at our little boy and I see that scar on his forehead I remember. 

He’s got your eyes Sunshine, exact same ones, everyone still says he’s the spitting image of me, but he’s got your nose. I swear it. I know I used to tell you that when he was a baby but it’s even more obvious now and I don’t see how other people miss it. Minnie sees it, she comes over all the time and plays with Harry, says she’s already saving him a spot on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, he’s such a strong flyer already, he’s gonna be amazing baby, I can feel it.

Moony’s talking about taking the DADA post at Hogwarts, Padfoot’s made sure that neither of them will ever have to work a day in their lives but you remember how he always talked about that being what he wanted to do. Third year he came into our dorm after tutoring a first year and told us all that he wanted to be a professor, wanted to teach, it was right after a moon and the first time I’d seen him smile all that year. If anyone has the patience for it it’s him.

Think if he accepts Dumbledore’s offer Sirius might find work too, always told us he was gonna be a trophy husband but with every passing day another restriction is enacted, another law is passed and the love of his life loses more and more of his rights. You know our Padfoot, he’s not just gonna let that go, not for Moons.

Haven’t been doing much myself if I’m being honest, Mom and Dad come by when they can but they’re getting older and most of the time it’s easier for Haz and I to go to them. He’s just as feisty as you are baby, he’s our little spitfire and his cheeks puff up and his face gets all red, he’s the most adorable sight you’ve ever seen.

Took him to get fitted for glasses this week, he’s got my shit eyesight and now he has these little tiny round frames perched on his nose and he keeps pushing them up because they won’t stop sliding down his nose. Makes him look more like Moony than his Dad but he’s mine, he’s ours. Mom keeps telling me he looks exactly as I did when I was his age, guess she’d know better than I would but m’not sure.

If I’m being honest there’s a real reason I haven’t written to you in a while, made a decision a little bit ago, and telling you makes it too real. Because if I don’t tell you then I can just pretend it never happened but if you know there’s no backing out of it, I can’t fail you, my love. But it’s tomorrow so there’s no more delaying the inevitable. I’m going on a date. Marls keeps telling me that it’s time, that I need to start the healing process but it’s still scary. I’m not ready to say goodbye, I’m not ready for you to be gone.

But every time I tried to talk myself out of it I could hear your voice in my head, telling me not to be stupid, not to play it safe, because I’m James Potter, and since when have I ever played anything safe?

So I’m not looking at it like I’m losing you like I’m saying goodbye. I’m looking at it like the next step that you’d want me to take because I know you Sunshine, and you’d kick me if I sat around forever wallowing. 

S’getting late and I should get Harry ready for bed, thinking I’ll take him to Diagon Alley tomorrow. I love you (Y/N), I’ll always love you. I’ll write you afterward, after the… you know, tell you all about it. 

Love,

Jamie

tagging: @randomoutsiders @weasleyposts @amourtentiaa @kittykylax @superbturtlemakerathlete @oliviashea05 @gxtitobxby @pinkandblueblurbs @st0nesnglitter @thatvenusbabe @itsmentalillness @zzzfour @greenlyblue @emmaev @temporaryissue @gubleryum @msmb @marauderswhore07 @miraclesoflove @velmasteas @drachoesimp @ashlovesthemarauders @artemis1orion @skaratjung @ava-brooke-blog1

Thank you for celebrating 1.1k with me, this celebration is no longer open but all blurbs and headcanons from this celebration and others can be found linked in my master list which you can find on my navigation page!

[johannstutt413]

(‘tis the season; Operators appearing based on this post) Happy Valentine’s Day from Rhodes Island

“No one should have to be alone on Valentine’s Day,” the Doctor sighed, reciting a mantra they’d heard from an Operator at lunch earlier that day. “How many times have I heard that one before?...Guess I should head to my room. No use staying-”

*knock knock* “Doctor? Are you still here?”

They got up and answered the door. “Something wro- is that…for me?”

“Y-yes.” The Cautus was blushing fiercely. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Thank you, Amiya. Um, here. I didn’t buy anything ahead of time, but I have some of these.” They handed her a mint - all they had to offer in return.

She could read their emotions well enough to know it wasn’t a comment on her breath. “Mmm. Have a good night, Doctor.”

“You too, Amiya.” They patted her on the head. “Say hi to Rosie for me.”

“Oh, she hasn’t seen you today?”

The Doctor stopped. “No, she hasn’t…Did she say she would?”

“She told me she’d bring you something, too.” Amiya frowned. “She should be home by now; we can ask her together.”

“I’d appreciate it - I’d like to know what kept her.” They followed the Caster’s lead back to the dorm she shared with the forgetting Feline. Hopefully it wasn’t anything serious.

It wasn’t anything serious. Just deceptive: as Amiya opened the door to a dorm the Doctor wasn’t familiar with (‘did she move at some point?’), there was a chorus of greetings from inside. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Doctor!!!”

“Eh?!” They stepped inside, spinning around as the Cautus closed the door behind them, to observe and absorb the moment. More than a dozen Operators were there, some with chocolates, some with flowers, some with present boxes, but all fondly looking at their leader. “Wh-what’s this? Amiya, this isn’t actually your dorm, is it?”

“Heheh. No, it’s not~” It’d been hard keeping the party a secret, but she’d known their reaction would be worth it.

The Doctor was simply stunned. “You guys…Thanks, really. I didn’t have a date or make any plans, and I was kind of worried when no one stopped by until Amiya came to get me…”

“We would have stopped by, but we couldn’t leave our posts, either.” Gravel pouted. “I’ve been waiting to see you since I woke up this morning.”

“We all found out that we wanted you to be our valentine, but it didn’t seem fair to leave it up to whoever got to you first, so we- rather, I, asked Amiya to help set this up. Apologies for the delayed gratification.” SilverAsh gave them a heart-stopping smile.

Angelina was the first to actually approach them, though, walking at first but switching to hovering to save time. “Remember that song we listened to the other day? I made you a CD with some other songs like that. You can listen to them and…and think of me.”

“Awww.” The Doctor hugged her on the spot. “That’s really sweet, Angie. Thank you. Alright, I don’t want to leave anyone out - everyone’s gonna get a turn-”

“Me next~” Before they could say “orderly fashion,” Gravel had already entered their personal space, kissed them on the cheek, and started rubbing her head against their shoulder.

They chuckled, kissing her forehead in turn. “I’ll see you tomorrow for your bodyguard shift, Senomy.”

“You don’t have to wait if you don’t want to~” But she relented, as there were plenty of people in this room that could wipe her off the face of Terra then and there if they so desired, and then how would she spend time with the Doctor?...Although haunting them would also be rather romantic, no? Still, another kiss for the road, and she made way for the next person to approach.

Skadi and Specter stepped forward at the same time. “I know I don’t say it often, and you know how I am about getting attached, but…I’m happy I met you,” the orca admitted in her usual way.

“Now that I’m back, we’ve gotta make up for lost time.” Sharky tapped the Doctor’s arm; it might’ve still left a bruise. “Yer the only landwalker I’d want down in the depths with me, no contest.”

“Not sure I’d be much help, but I appreciate it.” They gave each of them a hug - two similarly-strong embraces that managed to feel completely different, especially since Specter nibbled on their ear when she had the chance.

SilverAsh came forward next with a single flower. “I’ve always been serious about the merger offers, Doctor…Both of them.”

“Oh?” They took it, setting it in between their mask and hood. “Well, I can’t promise Rhodes Island, but maybe we can…come to an arrangement?”

“I look forward to our negotiations, then.” The Feline winked at them before extending a hand to shake.

Platinum strutted over to the Doctor and handed them a box of chocolates and a pair of concert tickets. “Amiya promised you’d be free to go with me.”

“She did, did she?” They looked over at the Cautus, who looked off to the side shortly after making eye contact. “Heh. I guess I am, then. Thanks for picking a band I can listen to.”

“As if I’d have bad taste.” Then the normally calm and collected Kuranta froze for a moment before kissing them on their non-Gravel’d cheek before galloping away.

Yato tapped them on the shoulder from behind. “Regardless of how events turn, and whose company you enjoy the most, I will still be by your side.”

“And regardless of my feelings, I will never forget you’re there.” They set their opposite hand on hers and gently pressed it closer. “Thank you for your faith in me.”

“Always.” As quickly as she appeared, the Oni blended back into the gathering.

Deepcolor had a…unique offering. “I painted the box in your image. Is it as beautiful as you are to me?”

“A picture is worth a thousand words,” they replied, gingerly accepting her chocolates(?), “but if this is how you see me, it’s absolutely priceless.”

“Mmm~ I wait for the day you’ll paint me in your colors, Doctor.”

Siege handed them a rivet, made in Londinium. “I have a few lollies, if you’d prefer them, but you deserve something more enduring.”

“As you do.” The Doctor smiled. “For want of a nail.”

“The kingdom was lost. I pray I will not lose you so easily.” The Feline bowed her head, and they took the once-in-a-lifetime chance to rub behind her ears. She audibly purred, but if she was embarrassed, it didn’t show.

Swire gave them an absurd bouquet of flowers. “You know how I am about splurging on gifts, Doctor…but if I only get to tell you once, I wanted to be sure you got the message!”

“Message received,” they chuckled. “Next time we go to the beach, take some leave and come with us, alright?”

“Only if you let me take you swimsuit shopping. Deal?...Good.” She probably didn’t realize she licked her lips after saying that.

Whislash handed them her gold card. “Another Valentine’s Day goes by, and I’m still single.”

“I can’t believe it myself.” They smirked. “Not even wine ages like you do, Zofia.”

“I-I’m not that old…but I know you’re complimenting me. Just don’t wait too long, or I might spoil on you.”

The Doctor shook their head. “You couldn’t possibly.”

“You might, though,” Carnelian noted as the Kuranta stepped away. “You look thinner than the last time I saw you. Are you eating properly?”

“Are you an interested party or trying to mother me?” they teased.

The Caprinae gave them a stare which left no doubt in their mind of the answer. “You know where to find me if you want the full answer, Doctor.”

“Heh…” She was certainly scarousing when she took that tone with them. They looked at Sideroca as she walked up. “I’m not getting thinner, am I?”

“You’re building muscle instead of fat, so it’s coming back in leaner. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you in top shape.”

They smiled. “Thanks for the chocolates.”

“You can afford to treat yourself every now and again.” The Forte looked him up and down. “But if you make yourself sick…”

“A day in bed with you doesn’t seem that bad, though.”

She smirked. “When I know you can handle it…Maybe.”

“Doctor?” Last but not least, Blue Poison came forward with nothing in hand, taking the Doctors’ instead. “Thank you.”

“Of course, Azureus. Someday, I’m sure more folks will understand. Until then, well, I’d never complain about holding your hand.”

The Anura’s neck glowed as she blushed. “Y-you can hold more, if…if you want to.”

“Perhaps.” They pulled her close for a hug. “As long as you’re comfortable with it.”

“Oh yes…” Operators watching from behind the Doctor at that moment might have noticed the smallest amount of sweat form at the notion.

With the guest having made their point, they spent the rest of the night playing games and chatting - playful spats, flirting with the Doctor, friendly rivalries developing - until the Doctor left to retire for the night without making any commitments.

At least, not in public…But it should be obvious who they called later that evening, I’m sure.

[myherofanfictionacademy]

Problem

A/N: This is the last story I'm going to be posting from my older stories. I think I might add onto this one in the future though...

Female Detective Reader

Their Pov.:

"Hey Aizawa fancy seeing you here." Hawks said as he spotted Aizawa in front of the agency building. "I just have some business to do here." Aizawa responded. "By hiding in those bushes? Are you spying on someone by any chance?" "Just drop it." "Always with a cold attitude."

Once Aizawa had started to help Dabi, it didn't take long for Hawks to start appearing around him often. He was a double agent, but besides that he had some history with Dabi. Aizawa didn't really get along with Hawks because of how flamboyant his personality was, so he could only tolerate him for so long.

"So how long are you just going to watch me for?" Aizawa asked Hawks, who had not moved away from him in over ten minutes. "Until you tell me what you're up to." Hawks responded. "I'm just looking out for someone. They helped me so I'm just trying to repay the favor." "Whose the person? Oh... Don't tell me it's a girl?" Hawks started to tease Aizawa, but he had already shut him out.

"Did I miss the memo for a meeting or something?" Dabi asked as he approached the two. "Oh hey Dabi." Hawks greeted. "Aizawa here finally got a girlfriend." "Just shut it you." Aizawa glared at him. Hawks had other plans and just continued to poke fun at him. "Come on, just point her out and I'll leave you alone."

The doors to the agency opened up as a few members of the agency headed out for lunch. After a few minutes the three watched as y/n walked out of the building. "Her." Aizawa said. "Are you satisfied now?" "No way!" both Hawks and Dabi exclaimed. "Wait you too?!" Hawks directed towards Dabi. "Looks like we have a problem. And there's no way you two are gonna steal her away from me." Dabi said.

"I Don't Think So." Hawks took off in the direction that y/n had gone. He didn't get very far as he found himself wrapped up in Aizawa's scarf. "Not before me you don't" Dabi and Aizawa began to race each other, with Hawks catching up a little bit later after freeing himself from the scarf. "No way am I going to lose to you two." This was going to end in the most heated competition, and with three passionate men after the heart of y/n, it was going to get very heated.

1st-Person Pov.:

The time was 12:15pm, and I was headed to my favorite café for lunch. "One cup of coffee and a bagel." I ordered. The day had been going great so far, and to top it off my boss gave me the rest of the day off, since I've been working overtime this past week. I also got the weekend off so I needed to find something to do.

"Hey there Kid." Hawks said as he sat down beside me. "How are you doing today." "I'm good." I responded. "Good to see you’re looking better." "Yeah, well.....would you believe me if I told you that I got a visit from a beautiful angel?" I became startled for a second. "You died?!"

Hawks burst out into a fit of laughter. "Actually I was talking about you." I felt my cheeks heat up a little. I wasn't used to receiving comments like this, so I lost my voice. Fortunately I didn't need to worry about replying.

"Hey Little Mouse." Dabi said as he took a seat across from us, Aizawa soon following. "I don't think I've ever seen you three in the same place at once." I commented. "It's not the first time." Aizawa told me. "We actually worked together, that's why I'm in a predicament right now." "Oh. I didn't know that Hawks was there though."

Hawks looked over at me. "I have some history with Dabi from years ago, which is why I became a double agent in the first place." I nodded my head as I followed along with what they were telling me. Hawks and Dabi's pasts connected when they were younger where they were put into a "program" to become "better".

"You seem to be getting along pretty well which is surprising." I told them. "We didn't get along very well before, but now we have a common denominator in our equation." Aizawa told me. "Anyways, the time has really flown by. Don't you need to get back to the agency?" "Nope. I'm off 'til Monday."

"Then how about we do something?" Hawks suggested. "Like what?" I asked. "We could go to the spring festival." Dabi said. We all agreed on it and that we would head there tomorrow morning, then went our separate ways. I was glad to see that the three of them were doing so much better.

I didn't bother packing that night and instead did it in the morning. We would be spending the weekend somewhere on the beach, but Aizawa, Dabi, and Hawks wouldn't tell me much. It was around 10am. when I received a text from Hawks:

Hawks: Good morning Songbird. Send me your address so we can pick you up.

I sent him my address and in no time at all, the three of them were knocking on my apartment door. "Looking good kid." Hawks complimented me. I gave him a quiet thanks then we headed off to the train station. It was only an hour train ride to get to the beach.

"Wow this place is packed." I thought as we waited for the train to arrive. "I'm guessing that it's going to be pretty busy at the beach as well." "Is something wrong little mouse?" Dabi asked me. "Just thinking about how many people are traveling." I responded. "It is spring break, but besides that it makes it easier on me because no one will pay attention to who I am."

The train was a little delayed due to some maintenance issues, but it was nothing major. The seats we were taken to were in business class so they were really nice. It wasn't as cramped as I thought it would be. I even got to sit next to the window with Aizawa next to me, and Hawks and Dabi in front of us.

The train ride was pretty calm, until Hawks pulled out a card game for us to play. He did step away with the other two for a couple minutes before the game started. I assumed that they made some sort of a bet because of how competitive they got over the simple card game. At the end of it, Aizawa won the first round and Dabi won the second one.

"Wow there really are a lot of people here." I said as we exited the train station. The beach was right in front of us. The crystal clear water sparkled under the light from the sun. The waves weren't very high, and all along the beach there were a ton of people.

"It might be hard to find a spot to relax on the beach." I sighed. "Don't worry Kitty." Aizawa said. "We already came up with a solution for that." "Don't tell her too much." Hawks said appearing behind me. "It will ruin the surprise. Now let's get a move on it." Hawks immediately picked me up and flew into the sky.

Aizawa and Dabi shouted as they ran after us. "Hawks....we should go back for them." I said after I could no longer see Dabi or Aizawa. "Come on Kid. I just wanted to spend some time alone with you." Hawks said. "Besides I was the one who put in the most work for planning this special trip. I'm also the one with the key." "Fine...But we have to stop and pick something up to surprise them."

Hawks landed near a café that was selling cakes. "This should work." He said. I looked at all the cakes before deciding on one that had chocolate and (insert your favorite flavor) pocky sticks. "How about this one?" I asked Hawks. "Looks good. Now hurry up before the other two beat us to our destination."

In just a few minutes we had arrived in front of a pretty big house that was right on the beach. "Wow, it's so beautiful." I told Hawks. "Did you rent this?" "Actually, it's a place that I own." He responded. "I have a few places for when I travel for work." He unlocked the door and gestured for me to enter ahead of him.

The place had a very cozy setup. I wanted to look around a bit, but I wanted to set the cake out in the kitchen first. I put out some cups by the cake and Hawks got out some drinks.

"What do you think your doing leaving us behind like that?" Dabi said as he and Aizawa entered the kitchen. They both had a dark aura around them, so I came up with something to save Hawks from becoming fried chicken. "Sorry, but I asked him to because I wanted to surprise you both." I said.

Fortunately, the mood seemed to have calmed down after that. "Don't forget that I won earlier." I overheard Aizawa say in the kitchen as I sat in the living room. "Yeah...yeah. Just stop rubbing it in." Hawks responded. "Still, I don't think I'm going to be able to hold back soon." "Me too. We should just all come out and tell y/n." Dabi said.

Their vagueness of things was really starting to get on my nerves. I decided to just go ahead and confront them. "What's up with you three?" I started. " You keep being so vague. You keep calling me by these pet names. You keep being so competitive w....."

"Okay I'm going to stop you right there before you run out of breath songbird." Hawks said. "It's not something that's easy to tell you." "You see Little Mouse, You have gained all of our attention." Dabi continued. "You've caused quite the problem between the four of us." Aizawa added. "Songbird...." "Little Mouse...." "Kitty...." "We adore you."

I was frozen for a few seconds because I could not believe that the three men in front of me just declared their fondness towards me. "But I..." I started. "Why?" "Why not?" Aizawa asked in return. "You're beautiful, kind, independent, and strong." "What kind of a man wouldn't be attracted to that kind of a woman." Hawks said.

My face was bright red, and I felt like hiding myself away from them in embarrassment. "All three of you though?" I asked. "Yep." Dabi said. "If you tried to get rid of even one of us, we might have to just tie you up." In my head I was completely freaking out, but I tried to remain calm on the outside, although I'm sure that it didn't work because of how the three looked at me.

[spencersmagic]

I thought I had you - SR

// Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 //

Masterlist // Taglist 

Summary: Reader tries to do a nice thing for Spencer but his self-doubt brings out the worst in him (a continuation to ‘I’ve got you’). 

Couple: Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (I think. I don’t remember being gender-specific but correct me if im wrong. You know the drill).

Category: fluff? pining? teensy bit of angst? idk 

Warnings: uhhhh nothing much, I think. The idea of Spencer feeling the stuff that I wrote makes my little heart go crunchy. Also, Spencer being a dumbass (JUST COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER Jesus Christ).

Words: 1779.

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The post-case bliss you were experiencing was short lived. You had merely managed to say your goodbyes and gotten home before you received a message from Hotch.

‘Get rest. Tomorrow will be paperwork day‘ the message read. Honestly, out of your options, this was the best one. Staring at the gruesome images that depicted the women you hadn’t been able to save was way better than finding yourself in the actual situation. Having another case right now was a terrifying thing to even fathom.

You couldn’t help but think back to the day before. Your skin hadn’t even begun to forget the touch of the pretty boy that had nursed you to sleep. Your heart hadn’t let go of the strings that were pulling it, making you feel jittery and full of pure adoration for Spencer. Your mind still could shake the thought that he had stayed up, being as exhausted as you had been, just to help you. To make you feel good.

It was such a beautiful gesture that all you could think of was doing the same for him. Not because you felt like you owed him anything, but because you wanted him to feel as full of appreciation and love as he had made you feel a mere couple of hours ago.

You didn’t mind going out of your way to do so. You woke up determined, setting aside the exhaustion that still lingered, and went to you guys’s favourite coffee shop to get him his own “latte with A LOT of sugar”, and your iced coffee.

You arrived 5 minutes later than you usually did, earning yourself a few reprimands and questions from Penelope, who had been waiting for you at to desk to tell you all about a guy she had met while you guys were away who was “definitely your type!! I have his number if you want it”.  As you walked in, you chuckled at Penelope’s eagerness before placing Spencer’s coffee in front of him, too absorbed in his paperwork to even realise. You didn’t mind the lack of recognition.

Without another word, you turned to sit on your chair, Penelope still telling you all about the mystery man she had met.

“He saw you on my lock screen and immediately asked for your number!! Said something about you looking like a sweet person. Wanting to get to know you or something”.

Penelope’s lock screen was a photo of the team that had been taken during one of Rossi’s famous dinner parties. You were standing between Prentiss and Spencer. Your arm went around her shoulders, pressing your index finger against her scrunched up nose. Spencer was looking at you with a bright smile on your face and your smile reached your eyes as you laughed. It was a truly pretty picture.

“I’ll think about it, Pen” you said. You didn’t intend on getting his phone number, your heart being otherwise occupied to see anybody like that. “Now shoo! I have so much paperwork to do and Hotch is gonna kill me if I don’t finish it soon”.

Spencer looked up long enough to see that you had appeared in front of him. Honestly, he was quite nervous about today, not knowing if your dynamic would change after the events of the day before. He had never been this intimate with anybody, let alone a coworker, and he really wasn’t looking forward to any looks of uncomfortable silences.

But nothing of the sort happened.

The team was not oblivious of your feelings for each other. So much so that when you started showing signs of having feelings the team would tease your about it, calling you “genius couple”. At one point, Morgan pointed out how close you guys were in the coffee station, when you had been giggling about theories on your mutual obsession for Doctor Who. “Guys, the PDA really isn’t appreciated here” he groaned, covering his eyes in a dramatic manner, before chuckling. But when he saw Spencer practically push you off of him, muttering a ‘gotta go’, and when he witnessed the way the light in your eyes dimmed, turned into a look of embarrassment, he decided that the team should let you guys figure it out yourselves.

“Wait, where did this come from?” Spencer said, grabbing the coffee in front of him and lifting it. You lifted your own, showing the same logo on your drink.

“I brought it in” you offered, with a smile.

“Why would you do that?” he scrunched his nose in confusion, a move you always thought he looked absolutely adorable doing.

“No reason” you shrugged. “I was gonna get my own and I thought of you and how tired you must be, so I brought you one too”.

He got up quickly. “Let me pay for it though” he took out his wallet from the side of his bag before you stopped him.

“No, there’s no need. It’s the least I could do.” you explained, sitting back down to work on what was in front of you. Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, putting the pieces together. Could you not see that he had enjoyed it as much as you did? That the mere thought of you wanting to touch him was heaven for him?

He immersed himself into the loads of paperwork once again, trying to finish it all before it got too late.

But he never did. He spent the rest of the day offering you little looks when you weren’t looking, trying to catch your beautiful eyes in his. You were a complete distraction to him, and he couldn’t think of anybody or anything better taking up the space in his mind. He wanted his whole existence coated with little pieces of you.

10pm came around way to soon, and Spencer was only halfway through his paperwork (he may have an IQ of 187 but when you got in his mind it was cut by half, leaving him inefficient and incapable of carrying through his responsibilities).

You, on the other hand, had taken a different approach, allowing yourself to ‘go under’, only seeing the words coating the documents you were supposed to read through. You were completely aware that if your eyes drifted a little bit they would find themselves fixed in the resident genius’ face, roaming around, trying to absorb every little ounce of his being. And you were still exhausted, despite the two iced coffee’s you had had during the day (making sure to grab a refill for Reid when you saw him yawning and rubbing his eyes too much).

But you had managed to finish your paperwork just in time, meaning you finally allowed yourself to look up at Spencer. His eyes were red, and his eyebrows were furrowed, positively giving him a headache without even noticing. The pile of “to do” paperwork was way too tall, something you found odd. Usually it was him who finished the paperwork before anybody else, but this time you could tell he wasn’t fully focused.

Without a word, you rolled your chair to the side of his desk and grabbed half of his documents. He looked up at you, allowing you to truly see the state of his being. He was going insane, and you made a decision.

“Go home, Spencer. I’ll finish this off for you” you said, offering a small smile before  moving to grab the files. His hands stopped your own before you got to them, and you looked up at him confused.

“You already finished yours, Y/N. Go home” he mumbled. “You need the rest”.

“Spencer you’re exhausted. I don’t mind doing it” you assured him, moving again to grab the files. This time, he didn’t offer any physical resistance, but rather a verbal one, in a tone way too aggressive for your own liking.

“Why are you doing this, anyway?” he questioned you, exhaustion clearly taking over him, showing the worst of him. “Why did you bring me coffee? Twice, if I may add. And why are you helping me with the paperwork? What are you doing?” he asked, way too quickly, and with a tone way too questioning. He talked to you like you were an unsub - like you were hiding something.

To be completely fair, Spencer had spent the whole day wondering why you hadn’t made a move on him, even if that meant just talking to him. Granted, you guys had plenty to do but you always found a moment to talk to each other. He had concluded that what happened the day before hadn’t meant anything to you. That the moment you shared, your skin against his, the feelings that had yet to stop lingering on his own skin, hadn’t meant anything.

Of course, this isn’t to say that he had helped you because he wanted something back. Not at all. But you had fallen asleep in his arms. He had felt every single part of your skin against his - something that, to be fair, he wasn’t at all used to -, his heart had felt full for the first time in way too long (a feeling only you could arise within him) and now you didn’t feel what he was feeling?

Here’s the thing: Spencer was more prone to feeling insecure when he was tired, not being able to shut out the dark thoughts that swarmed his head. The thought of you not remembering that moment like he had broke his heart. And the sheer sadness he was feeling, along with the exhaustion that had accumulated from the day before, really weren’t a great combination.

You sighed.

“Spencer, you’re exhausted. Your eyes are red and you’ve been yawning nonstop for the past two hours. Not to mention that you didn’t sleep during the flight yesterday. Go home. I’ll take care of it, doll” you said. His eyes narrowed, feeling ridiculous for ever thinking you’d want to spend more time with him. Without another word, he got up, grabbed his bag and moved to the door, before turning in his heels and walking back to you. You were already reading through the first file before he reached you. Your eyes met him as he stared down at you, and the words left his mouth before he even could think of stopping them.

“Listen, babe” he began in a condescending tone, exhaustion bringing out the worst in him. “I helped you yesterday with your headache the same way I would have helped anybody. You’re not special” he spat, before leaving, leaving you dumbfounded.

Spencer was fuming, trying to conceal a his broken heart. His mind could only think one single sentence, settling in his mind as if it were its new home. 

‘I thought I had you’.

And you had been thinking about the moment you two were done so you could offer him a ride to his apartment instead of having him take the subway. Excitement had been running through your veins, desperately trying to finish your paperwork in time to carry out your little plan. 

Needless to say, Spencer wasn’t the only one who left the bullpen with a broken heart.

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super short, super special taglist for cool kids only:

@lady-anon-x​  @inlovewithbabygirl​