#I was going to put them side by side with the text version but they're soooo pretty

[taylor-titmouse]

2024 Book Retrospective

i did this last year for all the books i released in 2023, and i've been looking forward to doing it again for this year because it was Such a wonky ride. i released 3 new novellas, collected 3 old ones in a new illustrated release, put out a new freebie, and dipped my toes into artbooks for the first time. that's not even including the multiple extra things i wrote this year but will release next year. it felt to me like i barely got anything out in 2024, but looking back i really did plenty.

anyway let's get into it! these will probably contain spoilers for the books because i want to talk about them openly. if you haven't read them yet... they're on sale for 40% off until the new year!

The Masson Circle Collection (1-3), released in January

so! we started out the year with this updated version of some of my earlier works. daffodils, carnations, and laurels were among my first forays into publishing novellas, and were the last of my romances before i transitioned more deliberately into erotica. the distinction is practically arbitrary since i do still write about people in love, but it's not the focus so much as the sexual titillation.

but anyway. because these were romances and not Porn (despite having explicit sex in them), and because they came out before i'd really hit my stride as an erotic author/illustrator in 2021/2022, they never got the attention i'd have liked for them! they were the last before i made the switch to properly illustrating my books; they had sketchbook sections at the back instead. i started the roger crenshaw series shortly afterward, which is when my work really took off. so it's like these stories just missed their window.

but i wanted people to read them! these stories and characters are dear to my heart and i felt like they deserved a fair shake, so i spent a month or so at the end of 2023 revising the text to be closer to my standards (though they were pretty good to start with!) and made 30 new illustrations for it. i kept myself Busy getting this ready. it would be a huge release to kick off the new year!

.... and then it didn't do very well anyway. lmao. maybe i priced it too high, maybe i didn't hype it enough, maybe it's because as much as i love all the characters, they're hard to draw and not as exciting as a monster of the day. who knows! but i'm glad i did it, if only for myself. as i've said, these stories were important to me and my growth as an author. if you like historical queer romance with a crime thriller edge, something like kj charles (because she was my biggest inspiration at the time) you should check these out! i promise they're really good despite being on the older side.

The Long Road, released in May

boy that's a big gap between january and may. so what happened there is i actually wrote the night guest first in january-february, and then the long road in march-april. but IMPORTANTLY, i learned my editor @petitemortality was going to become available for work again in april. it'd been probably a year since i'd had his hands on my work and i was Gasping for it. i've compared it to receiving the sponge treatment--just being put through the wringer and coming out So much better for it after a year of bad habits and complacency building up. so basically i put all publishing on hold until he could Fix Me.

and then i ended up rewriting both of those books practically from scratch based on his advice and godddd they really Were so much better for it. it's AGONY in the moment, but the work is worth it. anyway let's talk about the actual work huh.

the genesis of these characters is So funny, because i don't think a single one of them was created for the purpose of this story, rather they all existed as various mobs/nobodies to draw. the goblins and bandits beside vanesse were just designs i used a few times when i wanted to draw characters getting gangbanged. vanesse and angre were created Just for a patreon suggestion of "trans femme bandit queen fucking a trans masc knight". and tourmaline only exists because i wanted to draw a princess getting gangbanged and eveline didn't feel "right" for it anymore. and i ended up with this perfect mishmash of characters that slotted together into a story so naturally that i remember waking up in the middle of the night and banging out the outline in the notes app before falling back asleep and starting to write it the next day.

and it was received pretty well! it had a ton of buildup from me drawing the characters constantly for the duration of the writing and doing a ton of public worldbuilding for dwarves. god i love the worldbuilding for the dwarves. i'm desperate to get deeper into it, i just need to find the story for it. and the goblins. everybody loves the goblins and so do i. and vanesse. ahhhhh.... i'm just so fond of everybody in this book lol. just a big confluence of Toys.

oh yeah and since last year i picked favorite scenes, i think my favorite is angre's internal monologue at the start of his chapter. we get a lot of the worldbuilding there (so of course i like it) but also the Point of the book comes together. i'd struggled a lot with that whole bit in the first draft, but the final draft really just *chefs kiss* it works, for me.

The Night Guest, released in July

as i mentioned before i actually wrote this one much earlier into the year! and immediately had known it wasn't ready, and so backburnered it for months until my editor could essentially fix it. and he fixed the hell out of it. it was a directionless mess in the first draft because i hadn't figured out the characters' voices, what they actually wanted, why they behaved how they did, none of it. it was his idea to structure it more deliberately like an old folktale of a woman outwitting a best, and it snapped into place. of course it was a nearly total rewrite that added like 7000 words (and to this day i'm still not sure how) but it was completely worth it. i feel like i've said that multiple times in this post but it's always true. i cannot stress enough how much i was gasping for a good editing. it's like a cleanse.

this is another story that just sort of Happened out of nowhere. mrs. arakawa was a side character in the dragon double feature 2, and people liked her, and asked about her getting her own monster boyfriend, and so toru was born. partially to get practice drawing that bodytype, partially because i think onis are hot, and then the general shape of a story came to me and i started writing it. without a perfectly clear vision of what it would be. and that's how we got to where we were at the start of this. oops.

i have two favorite parts, the first being this illustration:

when toru is describing the oni woman he was supposed to marry. his entire narrative arc and personal struggle was constructed for the purpose of this joke. i agonized for DAYS, maybe weeks, trying to make his motivation of "i didn't want to get married" work with mrs. arakawa's own feelings about marriage and him having to leave at the end and come back and all of that. it was killing me. but it worked out in the end and i'm so happy it did because i still think the joke that he didn't want to marry a shoujo nadeshiko archetype because he thinks she's ugly is fucking hilarious.

my actual favorite scene is him and mrs. arakawa telling each other stories about themselves. i had a lot of fun trying to ape the rhythms of kabuki performance and rakugo with it.

Spring with the Unicorns, released in June

technically this ought to go before the night guest because it came out first but considering i wrote the first draft of the night guest in january *waves hands* it's all loosey goosey anyway

so this came about because i had the idea to do a book called Season's Breedings (so many of my books happen because i thought of a title and worked backwards from there) and it was literally just going to be the breeding habits of fantasy fuckworld creatures arranged by season. i wrote this one first because it seemed the easiest and then it was less than 4k words, and every other story i had in mind was going to be Much More than that and also didn't come together as easily. so on a very last minute whim i illustrated this and threw it out for free on the last day of pride.

it's me at my loftiest because i was going for a sort of third person omniscient fable type beat, because that's what unicorns deserve. i like it, and it's a good little treat to give out for free. especially because everybody loves the unicorns and loves asking me the same four lore questions and i can just say 'go read the free story' lmao.

it's too short to really have a favorite Scene but barberry is my favorite unicorn. just love everything about that guy. angry little bastard.

Poker Night with the Arizona Dogs, released September

it's not prose but it counts! this is the first artbook i've ever released, though technically not the first i ever made. the unicorn stockades series came before it but will be released sometime next year. it's a bit more spring-seasony. but anyway.

these are a lot of fun to make! i am, at my heart, a comic artist (my day job is graphic novels, buy my graphic novel it comes out in february) so telling a single story in multiple illustrations is kind of my bread and butter. and free use/gangbang stuff is like. perfect for it. everybody has to get a turn! and on top of that it lets me play in a space in a way prose doesn't. prose feels so much more official, more canon (which is how i think of the difference between my drawings and my books--books are canon, drawings are not). but with something like this it's easier to say it was just for fun. because it was! it was a lot of fun.

my favorite illustrations were the jackie-ralph licking ones (because i think i did a good job with the mouths and the folds and all) and the one with johnny with his hand over roger's face and hiding his own. jackie-ralph is probably my favorite of the dogs to draw because he's easiest but johnny is certainly my favorite of the Boys.

Objects of Affection, released in December

boy, this one huh! there is so much to say about this one. this one has like three separate catalysts that blasted together at the end of the summer and it just Happened all at once. there was a person requesting variations on "a mechanic taking advantage of an android they're repairing" for a few months on patreon that i kept meaning to do because it kept winning second place. there was another story i wrote that was too short to publish alone that i was like "okay what if i make a sci-fi anthology and one of the stories is robots..." and then i started rereading chobits for inspiration and it Pissed Me Off So Much how little it wants to engage with its own ideas.

and then the sci-fi anthology idea became only about the robots and i never published the original little short (which will come out next year as a freebie). and then my editor's computer Exploded for two months and he wasn't able to edit it ; ; the wait was Agony because this was one i really, Really did not want to release without proper feedback. something fucking Possessed me with this book and what it says about women and consent and masculinity and all the shit. like those are themes i've already touched in my other works, but in this one it was like turning the knob on a pressure cooker.

it's tough to think of what to say about it that i didn't say in the days after it was released. i've always been frustrated with robot stories that preoccupy themselves with the Theory of rights for artificial life and not the reality of rights for the people we already have. i'd watched astro boy 2003 and pluto shortly before starting (so i guess that's actually 4 things that came together) so Robot Rights!! stories were fresh in my mind and i'd found astro boy particularly frustrating with its insistence on pacifism from the oppressed robots as the government and populace kept abusing them. it is very hard to watch something that says "violence is never the answer! don't fight back, choose peace!" while your own country is aiding and abetting a genocide and obsessing over retribution for a single attack born of decades of settler violence as if they are in any way equivalent.

breathes out

so anyway that's why i chose to write about robots who undeniably do not have sapience, humanity, or rights. because we haven't come even close to solving the issue of rights for ourselves, particularly women (an admittedly easier topic to approach in an erotic work than the horrors of racially motivated war). and between chobits, which suggests a world obsessed with androids but doesn't deeply explore the social ramifications of a female-shaped servant class, and my research into real dolls, the closest thing we already have to fuckable brainless androids, there is a lot of material to draw inspiration from. how a person treats an unperson, particularly one shaped like a woman, will reflect upon how they treat a real person, a real woman.

to be less of a bummer and talk about the Stories, ratna's was the first i wrote, and went through the most revisions between drafts as i tried to figure out her whole deal. she was always going to be a stone butch dyke mechanic, so how would that sort of person feel in her line of work? would she be a stereotype of man-hating lesbian, and sympathetic to the android girls she has to send home with them? or would she be an unrepentant sleeze, just as bad as everyone she works for? i think i ended up somewhere in the middle. she doesn't like men, but doesn't think of herself as better for not being one. she thinks she's better because she isn't better, but at least acknowledges it. and figuring that out was important to figuring out the character. and also going in way harder on the beauty of the mechanism. that was mainly for You Guys, but it was crucial to her character working.

touma and shima's story came to me like a lightning bolt as i was leaving for a vacation. it was going to be, if you can believe it, Even More toxic yaoi. touma ws going to jerk shima off from behind as he fucked mari-ko, it was going to be way more explicit that he was mainly attracted to shima. but ultimately none of that served the actual purpose of the book, about treating people as objects and tools, so i dialed it back. but don't get it twisted touma is still insane and obsessed with shima and wants to touch his cock. but the story as it exists is a more realistic place for him to be at.

and samart and marinette's story was pretty much unchanged from first to final draft. the concept waffled a bit before i started writing, where my first idea had been that he makes her participate in taboo fantasies (calling him big brother, telling him no etc) and the narrative basically asking the question--is this wrong? is it better because she's not real, because he's doing it with her and not a real woman? does her 'no' matter if it's a 'no' she was ordered to say? is it worse because she can't meaningfully consent to the play either way? does any of it matter beyond the effect it has on him?

but as much as i'm interested in unpacking those concepts, i decided they would be too difficult for the audience and potentially open me up to scrutiny and abuse, because you can't even breathe the word "incest" without having your doors beaten down. the book as a whole is difficult, and i want it to be difficult, but i didn't want it to become about That. so instead i went with exploring the sort of loneliness and misanthropy of a person who lives the way he does, and i'm satisfied with it. i think it's the sharpest of the three stories.

wow i had nearly twice as much to say about that one than the rest. lol.

but that's it! that's everything i released! as i hinted throughout there were several other things i wrote this year that will see release next year. i have a free short, a $3 short, a novella awaiting editing, and at least two more artbooks to release. there'll be plenty for me to write about in next year's retrospective.

my writing goal for 2025 is to finish a novel. i did actually reach a finished draft with starbuster, the novel i've been pecking at for the past two years, but having done so and mapped out all the work it needs to be submission-ready, i've put it down semi-permanently. it simply needs too much and it's a bit too niche for traditional publishing, and it's in a genre (contemporary) i don't really want to write more of. so the best use of my time is on something else. it's a shame, but it's for the best! hopefully something will crack me upside the head with inspiration and it'll just Happen like all my best work seems to, lmao.

but if you've read all of this, or just read some of it, thank you!! thank you for supporting me for another year, or the first year if you just got here. if you haven't read everything i put out in 2024, it's on sale until jan 1st! go pick it up for cheap!!

[landofanimes]

7th Time Loop

Light Novels' Textless Covers (Vol. 1 and 2)

[words-4u]

don’t shut me out

pairing: jordan li x f!reader

wc: 750

a/n: i combined the two requests bc they felt kinda similar but i hope you guys enjoy <3

(NOTE: your super power is the ability to transform into any animal you want)

you stared at the last message you sent jordan.

to j 💗 i miss u. text me when u see this pls

you had sent that text at 8 pm last night and it was almost noon the next day and you still hadn't heard back from them. sighing deeply, you locked your phone, stuffing it in to your backpack.

is it me? did i do something? you thought.

it might seem over the top reacting this way but jordan is so communicative especially at night so it was off brand for them to go ghost like this. you were going through the different possibilities in your head as walked the god u campus to get to your next class, you had almost missed your friend calling your name.

“hey, y/n!” 

you looked up and saw cate beckoning you over to a table she’s at with andre.

“hey guys,” you said with no excitement which the blonde found weird.

“did your cat die or something? what’s up?” she asked patting the seat in between her and andre.

you huffed and set your bag on the table and your head on andre’s shoulder.

“okay this is gonna sound so stupid but i’ve been texting jordan all night and all morning today and i haven’t heard so much as a peep from them. i know the messages are going through, i just don't know why they're ignoring me”

“oh y/n. you haven’t heard,” andre begins. ”jordan’s parents are in town. we don’t know much about them but we know they are jordan’s least favourite topic.”

“i mean they’ve told me the basics but…” you trail off.

if their parents are in town then that explain why they’ve been so hard to reach. jordan's parents have never understood them and always made them feel ashamed of their powers which is ridiculous because they are ones who’ve injected their kid with compound V.

"guys i’ve got to go,” you said grabbing your bags and transforming into an eagle, flying off to jordan's student accommodation.

you knock rapidly on your partner’s door, once you arrived. “jordan, open up!”

silence.

you grabbed your vphone out of your bag and checked the “find my” app. “i can literally see that you’re in there so either you open this door and let me in or i turn into a snake and slither in… your choice.”

you hear some metal clanging and something unlocked and in a second you were faced with your gorgeous significant other who looked like they have been crying their eyes out.

no words needed to be said between you before you dropped your bag and pulled them into your arms, rocking them side to side.

you let a few moments pass before you spoke. “why didn't you just tell me?”

“i’m sorry,” they said pulling away. “i fall into this pit of self hatred when my parents come around.”

you guided them to the bed and played with their fingers as you shared your thoughts. “you know i thought you were ignoring cause i might've done something to piss you off or something…”

“no, baby” they whispered. “it’s not you. like at all. it’s them. they… they’ve never accepted my full powers. the girl version anyway. to my parents, i’m their golden boy and nothing else. i came to god u and swore that i would never feel ashamed of myself and would never be forced to choose one gender like my parents desperately want.”

“that’s a lot to carry by yourself, jord,” you move their short black bob out of their face and tuck it behind their ear. “i’m here if you ever need to talk. about any of it.”

“i know,” they smiled softly.

“and for what it’s worth i like…all of you,” you confessed which made jordan put on their sexy grin that you fell for.

“is that right? and which parts of me do you like?” they asked switching to their male form and placing you on their lap.

“hmm now that i think about it, i actually can’t remember,” you stroked your chin jokingly.

“how about i make you remember?” they replied, capturing your lips in an over due kiss. you breathe them in as you run your hands through their short hair.

you pulled away still holding their face in your hands. “promise to tell me when things bother you, big or small okay? i don’t want you to shut me out.”

jordan nodded, whispering, “i promise,” before kissing you once more.

[jiniret-writings]

Warm Blankets Pt. 2

Genre: angst, fluff

Pairing: Platonic!ot8 x 9th member!reader

Warnings: self-doubt, feelings of worthlessness

The actions of the members in this story do not represent how they are in real life. This is all fictional and should not be taken seriously.

Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3

After buying snacks (and your favorite drink because crying really does numbers on your hydration), you headed back to your dorm and the minute you opened the door, you were met with quite the scene. The entire place looked like a scene from Alice in Wonderland: chaos in the kitchen, chaos in the living room, and something sounded like it crashed in the bathroom, but over it all, the dorm smelled delicious.

When you two walked deeper into the dorm, Minho was the first to look up from what looked like beating eggs. "Hungry?" he asked, pouring the egg mixture onto the pan. Truth was, you were starving. You'd skipped breakfast that day because of an early vocal lesson. Your stomach rumbled low enough for Hyunjin to hear who laughed lightly.

"I think we both are," he said, nudging you in more. Then, like a switch flipped, Hyunjin whined, "Hyuuuuuung! When will it be readyyyyy?" He flopped onto the island seat and laid his head on the counter, watching Minho cook. Minho glared at his younger member, picking up the spatula.

"When you're done cooking in the air fryer," he said in a monotone voice, flashing a Cheshire smile before dropping it and going back to the eggs. You laughed at them, sitting next to Hyunjin and across from Felix. Chan's words still circled your head.

It felt heavy, your head and your heart burdened with the hit of his words and the weight of your thoughts. It had been five years since Stray Kids debuted, yet the whispers never stopped. Comments circled online every month or so about whether you really fit into the group:

I don't know, it's just that the group might thrive more if it weren't for them.

Have you seen the new talker? See how they're off to the side most of the time? They're definitely going to leave the group soon.

I trust Chan and all but I don't know if he was right about them.

It was normal to get hate as an idol but maybe, just maybe, they were right? Hyunjin had reassured you that you were wanted and he was just saying whatever came to mind in his stressed state but, but maybe there were some truth to his words.

As thoughts raced through your head, you stared blankly at the counter. The boys around you looked at you worriedly, giving Hyunjin a look with one question: what happened? He hadn't told them why you had a bad day or what was wrong, but they still rallied to give you warmth and comfort. But you were worrying them. They just wanted the best for you and to do whatever it took to cheer you up.

Wanting to pull you from your thoughts as soon as possible, Hyunjin texted them the short version:

Chan-hyung said he shouldn't have fought for them to be in the group. 2RACHA are on placating duty.

With that sent, Hyunjin put his arm around you to not scare you, but the second you snapped out of your personal trance, Felix ran at you and tackled you to the ground. The little attack came as a surprise to everyone around, leaving them all frozen. The only sound being Felix's "lixie" sounds.

You were shocked as well, arms coming around the slightly older boy on instinct, but eyes still wide. "Felix?!? What was that?!?"

"I love you," he said, digging his face into your neck, causing you to hold in slight laughter because of how much it tickled.

"I love you too but what's this?" you asked, gesturing to the fact that the two of you were still on the floor. At that, he looked down at you, small pout forming.

"My love, y/n/n. Accept it," he said, leaving no room to argue. And in a flash, he stood up, pulling you up with him, and pointed to the pan he was working on with a big smile. "Look! I made brownies, cookies, and a cheesecake! Help me decorate?"

You wanted to refuse, to slip away to your bedroom to lie down and think--no matter how much of a bad idea that was--but the way he was looking at you like you were the sun, how could you not agree? Nodding your head, you walked behind the counter to where Felix was just starting to put on a final layer of frosting on the chilled cake. At that moment, Jeongin and Seungmin strolled. Seungmin sat in the seat you left and Jeongin came up next to you, putting an arm on your shoulder.

"I wanna help too! How do you want to decorate it?" he asked, pointing the question at you. You thought about it and your mind drifted to a movie you had watched recently.

"Lets do it Alice in Wonderland themed?" you asked, unsure if it was a bad idea. The voices around you did well ot drown out your thoughts but they'd pop up every now and again with a new sort of vigor. But with no hesitation, Jeongin just smiled and nodded. Felix brought out red and black food coloring, and started mixing it into different bowls of frosting. At that moment, Minho walked to you with a pair of chopsticks holding a piece of meat. He just brought it to your face and you opened your mouth without a second thought. It was like second nature: if one of your members was feeding you then it must be good.

Your members

The thought brought a feeling of warmth in your chest. Suddenly, tears filled your eyes. You looked away, trying to get them back under control. You shook away the ones that came up, but the warm tightness in your chest refused to let go. You excused yourself to go to the bathroom and once inside, sat on the edge of the bath tub, letting the tears flow.

My members, you thought, letting the tears flow freely.

Back at the kitchen, everyone looked at each other, more worried than before.

"How bad?" Seungmin asked, turning fully to face Hyunjin. He just shook his head, remembering the fight he walked in on.

"Really bad. He was yelling and they were yelling and he suddenly just yelled it out. I grabbed them and took them out right after," he said, looking at all the boys. They shook their head, knowing what it was like when they poked the too-still bear.

"How is he?" Jeongin asked, knowing how this went. Chan cared about all of you, more than he could put into words. Jeongin knew it would only be a matter of time until the eldest realized what he said and started spiraling himself.

"I don't know. The others haven't texted but they're probably just keeping him occupied with work like he wants to be."

Seungmin looked towards the bathroom door, then to the pile of blankets laid out on the living room floor. The table in front of the TV had a cute pink table cloth over it so they could bring all the food out there to eat and watch your favorite show and movies. "Is the food almost done?" he asked, looking at Minho. He nodded and took the lid off of a nearby pot, giving it a final stir.

"Its all done. Just need to plate it and bring it to the table," he said. Jeongin took out the plates from the cabinet behind him and spread them out to make plating easier. Minho thanked the youngest by ruffling his hair and got to plating. Felix and Hyunjin in the meantime were trying to finish up the cake. Felix had just finished doing a slightly lopsided, but still made with love, checkerboard pattern and now Hyunjin was...it was hard to tell if that was Alice or the Cheshire cat, but either way, it was very "Wonderland".

When you walked out of the bathroom, having checked your eyes one last time to make sure they weren't red, you walked straight into Seungmin's back. When he turned around, he just smiled and put an arm around your shoulder, guiding you to the mess of blankets.

"What movie should we watch first?" he asked, sitting you down front and center. The boys were each bringing out plates of delicious food and your stomach growled again, much louder this time. You blushed slightly, looking down. Seungmin just laughed and handed you the remote.

"What type of movie?" you asked Seungmin.

"Whatever you want. We're happy with anything," he shrugged, leaning back against one of the pillow piles. With the food finally set, Minho sat behind you, patting your head lightly. You leaned into his hands, which then started massaging your head. The other boys came around too, Felix sitting on your other side and Jeongin and Hyunjin sitting on either side of Minho on the couch.

Felix grabbed one of the blankets from behind you and draped it across your back so it was hugging you. He then started passing around the plates of food to everyone as you finalized a movie.

With everyone snuggled in, you watched the movie and ate happily, laughing with your members as they recreated scenes, repeated funny lines, and made comments throughout the entire movie. Finishing your food, you put the plate back on the table, passing Minho’s and Jeongin’s plates onto the table as well, before putting your head on Felix’s shoulder and snuggling close.

Felix smiled down at you, grabbing a duck plushie and putting him gently into your arms. You looked from the stuffed duck to Felix and back to the duck. You smiled at it and gave it a squeeze.

You suddenly felt a small pressure on your hand and turned to see Seungmin had scooted closer to you and put his hand on top of yours. He gave your hand a squeeze and gave you a small smile before turning back to the TV.

Now feeling someone pat your head, you looked up and saw Minho patting it softly. Next to him, Jeongin was looking through a bag of clips you hadn't seen before and was picking out all the clips in your favorite color. You looked forward again and the tears were building up again. You held them back as much as you could when suddenly, Hyunjin huffed from above.

Before you could ask what happened, the tall boy made his way in font of you, Seungmin, and Felix and just flopped on all three of you. You all groaned at the sudden weight, moving every way to avoid getting his by his arms and legs as he found a position that wasn't extremely uncomfortable. Once settled, he looked at you with a cheeky smile, that then turned into a soft one. He brought his hands to your face and wiped the few tears that had escaped. He didn't say anything further, just patting your cheek and turning back.

Everything was calm now, the second movie now playing. You felt warm, both outside and inside. You always believed actions spoke louder than words, and the way the members all cared for you and spent time with you, how could you not feel welcomed? This was your family. Now, this was part of your family. You still had three members that you know care for you too.

Chan's words still hurt and you weren't just going to blindly forgive him, but he was still part of this big and crazy family you found when you found them years ago.

"We're never letting you go, I hope you know that," Seungmin muttered next to you, now holding your arm. Felix and Jeongin nodded, Felix placing a small kiss on your wet cheek.

"Never. It doesn't matter what people online say or what's said in the heat of an argument. We're never letting go," Jeongin said, squeezing your shoulder for good measure.

"The big bad wolf was extra grouchy today, which means everything out of his mouth was a big bad lie," Minho said, kissing the top of your head.

"If he's the big bad wolf, who is little red riding hood?" Hyunjin asked, turning his entire body--eliciting a groan from you, Felix, and Seungmin--and looking at Minho.

Without missing a beat, he looked at Hyunjin and said, "You are, you're going to get eaten soon."

"Do I taste good?"

"Go into the kitchen and find out," Minho said, standing up and going to grab Hyunjin, but he was quick. He got off of you three and ran to the kitchen, and he and Minho had a mini chase around the kitchen island. You laughed at their chase, moved by the kind words and the usual shenanigans of the members.

Jeongin came down in front of you and laid his head on your lap, looking up. "You're a important part of our group, y/n/n. We all love you here." You smiled at the youngest and wiped the last tears before they could escape. The lull of the TV, the comforting sounds of chaos from the kitchen, and the warmth from the members around you made you feel safe, and stopping yourself from fighting it off, you fell into a comfortable sleep, the negative thoughts nowhere to be found.

Here's the second part! I am genuinely so thankful for everyone who has read and liked part 1. I didn't even think it would get as much attention as it did! I finished part 2 early so I figured I would upload it a bit early!

I'm in the process of writing part 3, but I hope to get it done soon! Part 3 will have a happy ending, so I hope you enjoy that when it comes out as well! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated. And as always, have a great morning, afternoon, evening, and night!

-Jini

Divider made by: @cafekitsune

Taglist: @neyangi

[haologram]

araneae 🕸️ k.sy (teaser)

🕸️ synopsis: when you realize your friend (with benefits) actually has feelings for you, a tangled web of lies and avoidance ensues. 🕸️ genre: friends with benefits au ; big dummy dumb idiots to lovers because it's the only trope ever ; ta x student dynamics ; fluff, angst & eventual smut (surprise?) 🕸️ pairing: zoology ta!kwon soonyoung x marine biology major!reader | side pairings: joshua hong x sana minatozaki ; vernon chwe x roh jisun (fromis_9) ; mentions of reader x yuta nakamoto (nct) 🕸️ word count: 2.8k | full fic: i don't fuckin' know but hopefully under 20k. 🕸️ rating: 18+. minors do not interact i beg. 🕸️ warnings: mentions of knife play (none involved), alcohol, mentions of protected sex (dw it'll get freaky later), mentions of cum, loss of virginity talk, mentions of marijuana (stoner!hoshi be off the honeypacks!!), they're naked for most of this snippet. a lot of parties later in the fic, just wait LOL. 🕸️ what to listen to: good kisser - usher ; magic stick - lil' kim ; more to come.

LAST YEAR – Sunday, October 23.

You were never opposed to a nice Halloween party. Lots of thematic drinks, stupid boys dressed as Ghostface trying to explore knife kinks, and girls going all out with their glitter make-up and tinsel in their hair for the optimal fairy costume. 

You loved a good Halloween party, music blasting out of the speakers that were stolen from the AV Club by the softer version of the Beta Tau Omega brothers. Dancing with strangers in sweat-soaked facades, and waking up with smeared face paint all over your neck and shoulders from whatever disguised hook-up you'd taken home that night.

Last night's rager had to have been one for the books, because you have no idea how you ended up in this absolute mess of a bedroom – owned by none other than your close friend, Kwon Soonyoung. The same Kwon Soonyoung who also happens to TA the class you've put off taking for the last two years, and are set to start taking the upcoming spring semester.

The same Kwon Soonyoung that was related to the wife of the Dean, and the same Kwon Soonyoung that showed up everywhere stoned or ready to get stoned. The very same Kwon Soonyoung that made infused pre-rolls and edibles for nearly the entire campus…for free. Even you could see that was a horrible business call, and you were a Science major.

Soonyoung who helped people sneak kittens into their dorm rooms and make homes for them under lofted beds. Soonyoung, who taught a dance class and self-defense class back to back, so he was never free until after nine at night. Soonyoung who made hanging out seem like he was trying to get into your pants because he was just naturally flirtatious (and somehow, still absolutely bitchless.)

Soonyoung who you've kissed twice since meeting him two years ago, both times at Halloween parties hosted by his stupid fraternity. Soonyoung, who has had his hand up your skirt twice before someone interrupts you by asking if he has any weed at hand. He always does, and it's always in his car or his bedroom. He always goes, and a part of you, no matter how into it you may be, knows it's for the best. He keeps his circle small, of friends that is. You were added to the mix sometime after your first Halloween party (and first kiss together) your  freshman year, when he slammed into you in the middle of the economics hallway, breaking your laptop in the process. He'd felt so bad he took you to Best Buy that same night and shelled out two grand for a new one and even invited you out to lunch the next day.

He did not remember making out at all. To be fair, neither did you until the digital photos came back and he texted you a picture of the two of you kissing against the Beta Tau insignia on the wall. You were so embarrassed you avoided him for a week after, but he quickly forced you out of your dorm for a movie night. The two of you became fast friends, bonding over silly little things and enjoying each other's company – but it didn't stop the rumors from flying that you were a freshman stealing a guy from the sophomores. 

You remember that he adamantly denied any and every dating rumor flung your way, and even went as far as distancing himself from you for a bit – but when you tried to pull the same move he had earlier that year, he said maybe it was best for the two of you to remain friends from a distance. You didn't speak to him for the rest of the year, choosing to spend your time with friends your age and even dating a transfer student named Yuta Nakamoto, who was also in Soonyoung's year.

When word got around, Soonyoung was pissed – but didn't attempt to rekindle your friendship. He still followed you on Instagram, and still felt a bit of anger puddle in his stomach as he liked photo after photo of the two of you together, biting his tongue at the empty smile you held by his side.

This continued well into summer, and he saw the two of you take a trip to Jeju Island together, before breaking up the following week. Soonyoung heard from your friend, Nagyung, that he was transferring back and neither of you wanted to try long-distance. 

The following school year, he watched as you got recruited by sorority after sorority – eventually joining his frat's sister sorority, Alpha Sigma Delta. You hardly had to rush, the girls actively pushing you to pledge and you were far too nice to say no. 

You saw him again for the first time at the Halloween party planning, when you and your fellow pledges were tasked with helping the frat pledges in hauling in liquor. You weren't very happy about it, but Soonyoung whisked you away without a word from you, telling everyone that he needed your help with a certain task.

That task? "Can we talk?"

And you did. You talked, and talked, and talked. He even left at one point to get drinks for the two of you, returning to you fishing through his bag of pre-rolls for the ones infused with lemon balm. He smiled, telling you they were in his car, and you rolled your eyes at it.

You kissed at that party, too. It went further this time – the two of you on Seungcheol's balcony. The idea had been to go up to the roof and get crossed, but it seems a rather tipsy Soonyoung had other ideas. You didn't mind it, in fact you encouraged it – you slipped his hand up your latex dress, you let him slip your panties down your legs. "Hey, Hoshi! Do you have any pre-rolls?!" 

Just as he'd started undoing his pants.

"Fuck, I'm sorry baby."

"It's fine."

You passed out in his bedroom that time, too tired to go back to the sorority house with your sisters. You got out of clean-up, and Soonyoung left you a kimbap roll and an electrolyte drink on his nightstand, with a note asking how you got there 'haha.' 

It hadn't been fine. Again, neither of you remembered this happening until digitals were printed. And it was freshman year all over again – except this time, Soonyoung stuck around. Soonyoung defended you tooth and nail, and even dropped a few of his friends that bad-mouthed you. When you asked him about it, he shrugged, "Nothing wrong with kissing your friends every once in a while." So, here you are. Again.

The third year in a row you and your stupid friend have made out, and somehow, you're in his bed. There's no other explanation as for why your underwear is across the room, hanging off his lamp and why his head is gently laying on your chest. There's literally no other explanation.

"Soonyoung." You rasp, patting his cheek. He doesn't stir, but pouts into your bare breast. "Soonyoung." You speak louder, shaking him slightly as he peels open one of his eyes. 

"Yeah?" It takes him a moment to realize that it's you, sprinkled with glitter from his eye look last night and practically doused in his saliva.

"Oh, fuck." He just furrows his brows, rolling off your chest with a groan. He sits up at the edge of the bed, surveying the room before realizing he's got no pants on. "Son of a bitch. Did we…Yup. Yup, it's right there." His painted fingernails point at the discarded condom atop his dresser, flung hastily in a half-asleep attempt, most likely. You sigh, letting your head fall back on your pillow with a hmph. He does the same, his fingers only reaching up slightly to close the blinds with a jerk of the liftcord.

"You think it was good?" You ask with a small smile, and he snorts. "It was with you, I doubt it would've been bad."

Silence permeates the air again, before he sees your bare bottom half also covered in glitter. You have a tattoo on your hip that you didn't have when you first met. It's a stick-and-poke kitten. "Nice tattoo." "Thanks, I got it on Jeju Island." "When you and Yuta went?" "Yup." "Cool." He sits up, peering down at you with tired eyes. "What'd you see in that guy, anyway?"

"Hm?" "Yuta." "Oh. You want the truth?" It's like being nude in front of each other isn't a big deal. It's like having slept together after years of being in limbo means nothing. It's all so normal, the way you allow him to practically eye fuck you.

"I was sad you stopped being my friend." He blinks at you, watching the way you carefully pick at a thread loose in his comforter. You pull it out, discarding it behind you with a soft smile. "Does that answer your question?" "You fucked another guy because I stopped being your friend?" He asks incredulously, and you shrug. "Not just, but it was a large reason."

"You lost your virginity to him." His eyes are wide, and you shrug once more, nodding your head. "Yup." "Did he make you cum?" "Soonyoung-" "Did he?"

You sigh, patting his comforter. "Not the first couple of times, no. He got better at it, though. It was decent." 

Nodding, he clears his throat.

"Do you think I-" "Maybe. I don't know. I don't remember much, just the Pink Whitney Mingyu gave me." "Mingyu does love his Pink Whitney." You flip onto your back again, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling. Tucking your hands behind your head, you speak again. "Do you think I went down on you?" "There's lipstick on my tip." "What color?" "Uhh…wine red." You wipe a finger across your bottom lip, the small amount of residue a bloody, Cabernet red. "Hm. Checks out."

The air feels…comfortable.

"Wanna shower?" "Yeah." "Can I shower with you?" "Yeah, Soonie."

The two of you stretch simultaneously, before rolling to the side of the bed and standing up. He grabs the discarded condom off the dresser, holding it like a used tissue and taking it to the bin. You dig through his dresser for a towel, and he fishes out something for you to wear.

"Boxers okay?" "Hm, I prefer briefs." "On me or on you?" "Your underwear choices are your business." He holds up a pair of Spiderman briefs. You bite back your laugh and nod silently, extending your hand for them.

He disappears into his bathroom, flickering lights on and turning the shower head on. "Hot?" "Boiling." "Got it."

The both of you get in, and you close your eyes as the water pelts your back. Soonyoung says nothing as he moves your hair off your shoulders and away from your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "You should've asked me." He mumbles, reaching for the shampoo in the caddy behind you. Peeling your eyes open, you look up at him with a confused stare. "Asked you for what?" He shrugs, holding the shampoo bottle upside down over his hand and squirting some out. "I would've made you cum the first time." You snort, shoving his chest lightly. "Yeah, well…you didn't. It's fine." "This isn't weird to you?" "What? Showering together?" "After fucking, yeah." "Could be worse." "How?" "I could be that girl you've been flirting with since last year, wondering when you're going to text her back." "Who? Yujin?" "Yeah." "I'm not flirting with her, what made you think that?" "Stolen glances, flirty touches, you give her pre-rolls all the time." He rolls his eyes as he cards his fingers through your hair, his dull nails scrubbing your scalp gently. Your eyes flutter shut, and he huffs. "I give everyone pre-rolls." "Because you're a horrible business magnate." 

"No, because I'm nice." You smile without opening your eyes, your hands reaching out to touch his chest. His body feels good under your fingertips, you realize. "Are you mad you don't remember any of it?" "Furious." He mutters, gently tilting your head back to wash the soap out. You can't see the way he's looking at the sweet slope of your neck, just barely making out small nips of his teeth across your throat. Your necklace hangs nicely. The rest of the shower remains silent, as he carefully washes you before himself. His attention to detail is insane, the way his fingers hold the washcloth taut so he can feel every inch of you. He has to commit this to memory.

After, you're drying your hair with a random t-shirt he gave you. He remembers you told him that towels can be too rough for your hair texture sometimes. It's only when you're brushing your teeth with a brand new toothbrush he pulled from his cabinets that he speaks. "Let me change my bedsheets." "Don't wanna lay in the sin of fucking your friend, do ya?" The navy blue sheets are quickly replaced by ones with light grey ditsy floral print, and his comforter is shoved off and replaced by a few throw blankets. He watches as you change his pillowcases, only looking away when he hears his phone ping.

Msg From: Cheol [9:32am] hosh [9:32am] who is the girl in ur room and is she missing a pair of cat ears

"What was your costume last night?" He asks, and you snort. "I was a sexy witch." He smiles to himself as he picks up his phone.

Msg To: Cheol [9:33am] not missing a pair of cat ears [9:34am] and it's y/n

Your head snaps up when you hear a pair of feet thundering up the stairs, followed by silence. You give him an odd look, only to hear excited giggles down the hall and the pitter-patter of two adult men coming towards Soonyoung's room. You cross your arms as you hear the door creak open, an expectant look on your face as Jeonghan and Seungcheol's noses appear through the crack. "Hey, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here." Jeonghan remarks sweetly, and you just roll your eyes.

"He wasn't bluffing." He whispers to Seungcheol, receiving an annoyed huff from Soonyoung. "If you're done intruding on my personal business, I'd appreciate it if you left. The pledges still need to clean up last night's mess." Jeonghan gives you a wry look. "Can I say something and you don't get upset?" "If it's about sex, I will punch you in that pretty face of yours." You say pointedly, fluffing the pillow in your hand before throwing it onto his bed. Jeonghan purses his lips, nodding before sliding out from under Seungcheol. He nods his head, a satisfied look on his face. "Have a good…don't fuck too loud, okay?" Soonyoung barely misses Seungcheol's face with the charger he throws across the room, his giggle being heard in the hallway as he barrels down the stairs.

"Idiots." He huffs, running a hand through his damp hair as you flop onto the bed. "You don't mind if I stay here a bit? My head's killing me."

He lays down next to you, a sigh escaping his lips.

"You okay, Soonie?" Turning only his head, he scans your face. Tired eyes lined with thick lashes, plump lips covered by the Aquaphor in his bathroom. Slightly unkempt brows and your shoulder tattoo peeking out from the collar of his shirt on your frame.

"Kitty?" You grimace at the pet name, one he christened you with when the two of you met. He'd been dressed up as a cowboy, and dancing with a skeleton that was stolen from the comparative anatomy students (with the help of Junhui, of course.) He also had a lit joint between his fingers, one that sprinkled ash over your newly healed shoulder tattoo and made you yelp in pain.

"Shit, I'm sorry, kitty." He quickly put it out in a nearby ashtray, dusting your shoulder of any ash residue. "It's fine, it's fine. Just…can I get a hit?"

"Yeah?" He sits up, leaning against his bed frame before looking down at you.  "Would it be weird if I asked to try again?"

You glance up at him, an amused smile playing on your lips. "Try what again, exactly?"

He clears his throat, a beet red blush coating his cheeks. "You said Yuta didn't make you cum. And we don't know if I made you cum. So…can I have a redemption round?"

You've sat up at this point, a small laugh falling from your lips as you push your hair back, "You want to fuck me?"

"I can just go down on you, if, uh…if that's what you'd prefer." He stutters, mentally cursing himself. You glance at him, eyes scanning his face. "And we're still friends after this? You won't dump me?"

"I won't. I promise. Cross my heart, kitty." He holds his pinky finger out, insinuating you link yours. Sighing, you do just that. "Fine. Hop to, I want breakfast."

haologram © 2024 || no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

[thewanderingmask]

my submission for the hermitcraft season 10 fan art gallery: Xisuma Eternal! (actual size on left, embiggened version on right)

there are a ton of little thoughts that went into this and i will now go off about them at length (ramble under the cut)

let's start with the image layout and composition! my first idea was to do an homage to the original doom box art because of X's skin, but ultimately I decided on referencing this Eternal cover (hence the title of the piece) because it sparked some stronger ideas in my brain.

i still wanted to keep that link to the original though, so i did my very best to emulate the original logo with X's name - replacing the original texture with binary as one of many references to X's role supporting the technical side of the server.

(for no reason other than my own amusement, the binary in the letters is translated lyrics from X's verse in the hermit gang song. i don't even know how much of that is still visible after lining the letters, but i liked putting it there)

i've only been watching hermitcraft for a few months, and there's an awful lot of history i don't know about. so i focused on doing my best celebrating builds X has worked on here in season 10! i would have loved to include his base as well, but ultimately i ran out of room.

(there are still a few nods to other seasons based on knowledge i've acquired through osmosis. evil X is the most obvious, but i was also able to sneak in a couple small carvings next to the X in the title text!)

coming back around to xisuma's work on the technical side, that's why Evil X is backed by error windows. it's also why xisuma is holding a toolbox! it was the best visual metaphor i could come up with for the digital job of maintenance and repair.

(and of course he has a lovely cup of tea as well)

the allays (holding redstone) are partially in reference to farms X has been making, partially bringing back in that angelic/demonic vibe of Doom, and mostly because their intended role of supporters and helpers feels very thematically appropriate for X.

the lines in the sky are of course meant to evoke the shapes of mace race, and the black cube is a minecraft-ified version of the Soulside Eclipse logo.

(if you're not familiar, that's xisuma's music! it's good!! give it a listen sometime! it's on youtube!)

the silverfish at the very bottom are visual reference to the demon hordes of Doom - and of course they're also much more directly referencing X's very clever prank in impulse's city.

finally, on the walls of spawn we have the carved symbols - one for every other hermit. i remember X mentioning in a stream once something about fulfillment from supporting others. (i apologise if i'm remembering less than clearly.) it just felt like if i wanted to represent X, it felt important to include them as well.

and of course it made me happy to do something for Every hermit, since all of them

(smallishbeans/joel was actually the one i got most stuck on! there wasn't really a single item or symbol i could think of to narrow him down to. ultimately i decided on a torii gate and a little letter J, but i'm honestly still thinking about it)

ah right, and the Actual last thing: this turner out to be totally unnecessary, but i absolutely did draw this in the minecraft map hex code colours. it's a tricky palette to work with, and i learned a LOT about pixel art while trying to get the sky to look nice!

this piece took about 10 days to complete, maybe the longest i've ever spent on a single illustration like this - and honestly, i'm really happy and pretty proud of how it turned out!!

[mizzcap]

you're not him

@b-l-a-n-k-d-r-e-a-m inspired this batch of HCs! Send your love to them! (I hope the tag worked!)

TW- Meltdown, Panic attack, Bullying, Mention of SA and Murder, mention of Jimmy (character), fighting

Actor! Jimmy x Reader

ACTOR AU: Jimmy is feeling distant and closed off- curly has even taken notice and brought it to your attention. Maybe this role was too much for a first role?

Continuation of Jimmy's last part

And yes, Curly's partner is a ACTOR AU! version of Y/N from the part 1 scenarios! They're referred to as (P/N)(partners name)

-Jimmy was excited to start the project. Him, Anya, and daisuke hit it off right away

-it made Curly so happy to see Jimmy coming out of his shell and becoming more and more comfortable around his co-actors.

-it made you happy to know that you finally could get your thesis done.

-you started noticing a few older guys in your film class hanging around to talk to Jimmy, though you chalked it up to Jimmy making more friends

-you knew the guys as dudes who kept hitting on Anya, though she couldn't care seeing as they didn't take it too far and well. Anya doesn't like men.

-one day, Jimmy just didn't show up to film a shot

-you had seen him in class that day, and around campus, so you knew it wasn't sick

-now that you thought back on it, Jimmy had become slowly reserved all over again- hesitant about any form of touch.

-so you went looking for him

"Sexually aroused by horses? Oh- so your a freak freak."

You paused up on hearing the familiar voice of your classmate, and the familiar line that Anya improvised one day during filming (truthfully it was funny enough to not only make the cut but encourage a retake because curly wouldn't stop laughing. His partner had to bring him water because he wouldn't stop wheezing)

You found the corner in time to see Jimmy practically curling into himself. Now, Jimmy wasn't small. He was in weightlifting with Curly since the 10th grade- (you learned that while texting Jimmy late one night talking to him before the first shoot)

With that being said

Jimmy hated confrontation. He wasn't a big fan of physical altercations- and only ever went as far as wrestling in the grass with Curly. (Which resulted in (P/N) scolding them for staining their dry clean only varsity jacket)

"What's going on?" You quickly butted in. Pushing past the two over grown men to stand next to Jimmy. Your side pressed briefly to Jimmy's though he was quick to lean away. He was tense, and looked a bit pale. What's wrong with him

"Just talking to Jizzy here-"

"Jimmy." you spat his name, correcting the rude ass boy almost immediately with a glare.

"-right.. we're just having a chat is all. 'bout horses and shit" the other guy laughed at his friend's comment. But the way it made Jimmy's fist ball up as a distraction from the uncomfortable situation, the rage boiled deep in your skin

"if that's all.." you pushed through grit teeth. "We'll be taking our leave now" you sneered and tried pushing past

The two boys whistled as you and Jimmy went past them "Go one now Jimmy boy- Master's callin'!" One whooped after he said that, the noise ringing annoyingly in your ears

You turned so quick the world felt dazed for a moment as you got up in the guy's face. His hot stank breath making you more pissed than before "you got a fuckin' issue, bud? Cuz we'll fix it." You snapped

"I don't, but maybe put horse fucker on a leash. Or not- maybe he'll diddle you next-" the man laughed in your face

The insult made your blood bubble and burst. In your peripherals, you could see Jimmy tense up at his words almost uncomfortably.

"fuck off man!" You snapped, shoving him back without properly thinking first.

You watched his red shoes stumbled back a few steps before sliding forward. Barely having time to process it as a stinging feeling ripped through the side of your face.

You whipped your head up at the man to strike back, only to be met with the back of Jimmy's head and his arm. Stumbling back a few steps as you watched wide eyed

The normally reserved and peaceful man- the one you would watch wrestle in the grass with Curly after shoots. The one who ever showed a hint of anger (though it was more confusion) when he and Anya could understand why Daisuke was winning (you're positive he was eating the game pieces), The man who you would eat being reassured by curly after every shorty that he was not his character..

You watched the same man's fist sink into the center of your classmate's face- a loud crunch sounding as his nose was crushed between his face and Jimmy's fists.

+-+-+-+

"it's not that bad" you sighed, sitting on your coffee table and holding a small mirror as Jimmy looked at his reflection.

a bit of blood seeped into and crusted on his scruff that he grew out for the sake of you movie. His bottom lip was puffy and split open on one side. An ugly bruise on his cheek spread to his eye that had nearly shut. While his nose has started bleeding- it was still bruised and banged up. On top of that his knuckles were raw and red from the fight.

Truth be told, you weren't in the best shape either. Your nose has started bleeding from that initial punch from the guy. And your sides ached from where you got hit.

The guys tried ganging up on Jimmy, and you tried jumping in to help.

"on a good note... I think I kicked them hard enough so one won't have kids" you chuckled, but Jimmy didn't reciprocate your enjoyment of the joke.

You paused for a moment, then silence almost suffocating

You grabbed the Gauze and Neosporin as scooted towards the edge of the table, your knees barely brushing against his

"here- I can-" "please don't"

You watched in shock as he tore his hands away from your own, grimacing at the touch

"Jimmy wha-...?" You furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head in confusion "what's going on"

When he didn't respond you pushed more

"Jimmy, you've just been acting weird- I tried talking to curly but he doesn't know either- is it the role? Jim, if it's too much you don't have to continue-" he yanked his hand away when you grazed your fingers over it accidentally.

You blinked in surprise

"What if they're right?" Jimmy choked out, head in the heels of his palms as his fingers curled into his dark brown locks. "What if I'm just like him- and that why I play him so well?"

"What?- oh.. Jimmy-"

"what if I end up like him- end up hurting everyone- hurting Curly-- he's like my brother man- I can't hurt curly" he choked on a sob.

"Jimmy.. I-" you sighed and ran your hand over your head as you tried to think of proper wording "This-.. you're feeling upset about playing a fucking horrendous character. That's completely normal- Seasoned actors have a hard time playing a role like this- You're a first time actor, for you to be thrusted into acting- having to play- y'Know.. it's normal to be upset or unnerved, but you have to talk to us, you can't just suffer in silence"

Jimmy shook his head, lifting it to meet your eyes with his dark, bloodshot ones. "But Those guys-"

"Drew and Max are pissy because you get to work so closely with anya- meanwhile they're barely allowed in the same proximity as her" you crossed your arms

"but-"

"are you sexually attracted to horses?"

"..what?"

"are you?"

"no-"

"have you ever...?"

"God no! I'd cut off my nuts before I'd ever-"

"ew dude! TMI" you giggled, grinning as he slowly sported a small smile

"and as far as I'm concerned you haven't off'd anyone or been a 'Manipulative Conniving Dictator', so you're fine" you heard him snort at the dictator part

"I just-"

"Jimmy- look at me" you slowly took his hands in yours- your eyes searching his for a moment as you drew circles on the back of his hand using your thumb "You're not him"

+-+-+-+

BONUS:

"Found you n Jimmy on the couch this morning" Anya hummed as she ate a granola bar, helping you build a medical bed by simply holding the screws

"We watched a movie last night and fell asleep- talked for a bit before hand but nothing happened" you muttered, hunched over a rod as you screwed it to the bed frame

"talked? Like when I hear you giggling at 2 am on the phone with him?" Anya has a lazy, teasing grin as she stared down at you, her tongue sticking out from between her teeth as she quietly giggled

Your ears felt extremely hot, and your heart felt like it stop

"shut up!"

You playfully picked up a piece of foam and threw it at Anya's legs

+-+-+-+

YAYAYYAYAYAYYA! up next will be part 2 of Anya x Circe reader, then imma do part 2 of curly, then part 2 of Daisuke!

[lilacgaby]

Gworly I've requested this to two people already and no one made😭(third time's the charm?)

But yeah is it alr if I request a bakugo OR/AND touya × Fem reader? (You can do either, or both. Totally upto you)

So the reader has strict parents + she's really really really insecure? Like this is kinda self indulgent but is it okay for me to ask or angst?? (I love destroying my brain) Like the reader is chubby and short and really insecure + her parents say smth which makes her even more insecure. She only has one close friend and she feels like they're growing apart. That's when katsuki/touya find out that reader has a crush on em through the doodles in her class notes (she forgot to take home ) and when they try to return it, they find her crying in her dorm(or room, if ur doing touya) then she kinda vents out her loneliness and they try to help her out?

I personally feel like this req is kinda long so you can do either one instead of both.

Tysm!! It's alright if you don't write about it, I still appreciate it!

Lot's of love, thanks again <3

it seemed nothing was going right for you.

you've failed another test. in reality, you just got a b, but that was unacceptable by your family's standards. you knew they'd take away your phone if they found out, so you just kept it under wraps.

standards were high everywhere, and you couldn't help but to compare yourself to everyone. people like momo, who were both brains and beauty? it made you feel horrible, the green bug of jealousy a constant presence in your life now.

you were shy too, so you didn't really have a way to let out your feelings. your friends from junior high didn't make it into U-A, and they've slowly stopped talking to you. stopped replying to your texts, stopped answering your calls, stopped inviting you places. and while the girls were all sweet to you and invited you out with them, it always tugged in the back of your mind that they were doing it out of obligation. passing by isn't the same as being a real friend after all.

the only solace you found was from sketching. should you have been focusing on the lecture mr. aizawa said was really important for the next exam? yeah, but you were just so out of it.

you finally started to take basic notes of the subject when the bell rang, you sighed and quickly got your bags and almost ran out of class, leaving your book of 'notes' splayed out on your desk.

katsuki noticed it, everyone else had already left at this point, so he couldn't just hand it to one of the girls and go on with his day so.. he went over to reach it.

however, he noticed the drawings of him that were randomly drawn around your notes, that he noticed you didn't finish. the drawings ranged from chibi versions of him in his hero outfit, to a sketch of his side profile of when he was taking notes.

he decided to give it back to you, as you now interested him. he almost felt flattered at the way you depicted him.

he was in front of your dorm, about to knock in his usually brazen manner, but the sounds of choked back sobs caught his attention. were you crying? about what?

he knocked gently, and after he heard a bunch of scrambling around the room, you opened your door. your eyes were clearly pink and swollen, still wiping your eyes as you answered. "oh, bakugo? what are you doing here?"

he held out your notebook, making your eyes widen. "you didn-"

"i did. let me in."

you took your notebook and stood to the side, letting him into your room.

he scratched the back of his head, eyeing you. eventually he sighed and just came out with it. "so, i'm not really good at this shit but, what's up with you? you've been acting weird."

you opened your mouth to protest, but he put a hand up. "none of that 'i'm fine' bullshit. i saw how upset you were."

you looked at the floor, feeling tears blur your vision.

he awkwardly held his arms out and you crashed into his arms, your face in his chest, your tears staining his shirt as he held you.

he sat you on your bed, and you relented. telling him everything, about your parents, about how you felt so socially isolated, about how you felt so hopeless when compared to the others in your class.

he sat quietly and proceeded to alleviate some of your stresses one by one. telling you how you were still talented, regardless of a grade. how your parents were in the wrong and that you shouldn't be ashamed. how the girls and the class all spoke highly of you in your absence.

it felt nice to finally be understood, you thought as you rested your head on his shoulder.

[epickiya722]

Reading Horikoshi's last works, Oumagadoki Zoo and Barrage, and checking out the end of that it reminds me of what is going on with My Hero Academia.

I'm about to recall on of my literature lessons here and make text-to-text connections here.

Both of those stories' endings had a big battle going on between the opposing sides. Once those battles are won by the good guys, everything goes "back to normal". People living their lives, smiling again, that deal.

However, not everything is completely okay. There still some changes to be made. Slowly, but surely.

Both stories end openingly. The future isn't for certain, but it looks slightly brighter than before.

That's what I think is going to be the case for MHA. We already see that society is rebuilding itself back here.

In the case of the villains, those previous stories while the bad guys are defeated and receive punishment, there is still that open air of opportunity for them to change. They also don't die in their stories.

Now, before someone gets a hissy fit and be like "Midoriya killed Shigaraki" (even more it was more on AFO than Midoriya... I feel like some of you think it's too easy to blame the villain but I digress), what if I told you... maybe there is a way for Shigaraki to come back or at least, his fate is hinted to be open and he did not have a certain death?

Hear me out! Spoilers ahead for both Barrage and OZ!

In OZ, the bad guys don't actually die after getting defeated. They do kind of just go about their lives. One of them even joins the Zoo in an aftermath story!

In Barrage, the "prince" is killed. However, Astro, the protagonist, makes a remark that he could have survived and he's still around.

That could be the case for Shigaraki. I know we got that mystery kid a while back, but here's my thought.

Horikoshi may go back to him later. Or! He may not! I'm leaning more on the "may not" because I feel like Horikoshi may leave it up to the audience to decide what happens.

A "Shigaraki may have died... or maybe he's reincarnated... maybe he's not..."

Simply what I'm saying is, while there are things that are certain, that doesn't mean they can't change. While it may seem everything is over and done with, it doesn't mean there isn't room for growth. The future can be a bright one when you're open for change and it will take time.

It what happens in both of Horikoshi's previous works. The protagonist is united with their allies and smile in the end, even when not everything is okay.

Especially, in the case of OZ. Horikoshi did an extra story where everyone is happy, but the Zoo still doesn't get costumers like that.

That's how it's going to be for MHA, I feel.

Things with be slow, but slowly getting better. The ending will lean more into being open for the audience to imagine what will happen.

Here's the thing with me and some of the fandom.

I don't think any of you are stupid or lack reading comprehension skills.

I feel like some of you are impatient. I get it, sometimes, you don't want to wait and you must know what happens next. But at the same time, that impatience shouldn't lead you into turning into the worse version of yourself.

Because of that impatience, you won't stop and think "what could this mean". You don't think to go back and reread to catch details that may have foreshadow something. Instead, you jump to conclusions and call the writing "bad".

It's not bad if you're too impatient to understand it.

Society in MHA isn't going to change overnight. There's time to change.

Sorry to tell you, some people will still worship the heroes. Some people will still hate the villains. That's the reality of it. Some laws will still be in place. Sorry, but just because Hawks put on that hot ass suit (and I don't mean it's an attractive one, he has a habit of wearing clothes that look like they're hot), doesn't mean he can make everything A-OK by snapping his fingers.

There are still people he got to work with.

This is the case with everyone. Just because Izuku is our hero of the story, don't mean he can clap his hands and "Oh my gosh, the villains aren't that bad. Oh my gosh, we should change".

He is still a high school student. Who just reached his second year. Just his second year.

These changes? WILL TAKE TIME!!!

And I know, some of you are thinking that ship might happen but given how Horikoshi has written them and his previous works... I doubt it.

I could be wrong, but I have doubts.

Horikoshi doesn't really rely much on romance on Barrage and OZ. In fact, in both of those stories it's more of a platonic close connection between the main male and female roles and the female character does her own story.

Now look, I adore Izuku, but when it comes to Ochako... he is a side character in her story and that's it. He is a supporting character. But that's just me.

[jaemmphilia]

☾ batshit crazy ☽

☾ synopsis: kyungsoo is getting reeeal tired of your crazy schemes. ☾ featuring: do kyungsoo x gn!reader ☾ prompt: "are you- what the f*ck is that?" ☾ warnings: humor, reader is known for doing crazy things, reader and kyungsoo are married, no pronouns used, but written with a male reader in mind ☾ disclaimer: this is simply a work of fiction and does not represent kyungsoo as a person. ☾ triplejracha, 2024. please do not copy, translate, or upload to other platforms.

read hjenthusiast's version here!

kyungsoo dreads opening the text messages between you and himself. he knows it could only mean that you've done something dumb and need his help getting out of the situation.

kyungsoo reads the message you sent him and he doesn't even stop himself from rolling his eyes.

now, kyungsoo loves you. loving you comes easy to him, he's sure of that. but, of course, every single person has their flaws. yours just so happens to be picking up random animals off the side of the road (where they belong, no matter how injured they might be).

kyungsoo often wonders how he ended up marrying someone as sporadic as you. you often say he's the black cat in the relationship while you are the overly excited puppy. at first, he didn't understand your comparison but as he rereads your message, his eyes scanned the unnecessary abundance of exclamation marks and emojis that don't fit what you sent him.

i got you a present, kyungieeee!!! 🤠🤠🤫🤫😇

kyungsoo feels his heart beat quicker and a soft smile creeping onto his face. now, he might complain about you more than praise you, but at the end of the day, it's you who puts a smile on his face.

kyungsoo steps out of his car and takes a deep breath as he steps up to the front door of his home. he unlocks the door and is welcomed by the heavy scent of spearmint and cucumber. as the pungent scent of the spearmint hits his nostrils, the annoyance he felt on his drive home washes away.

"kyungie, are you home?" your voice calls out to him as he kicks off his shoes and sticks his feet in his houseshoes.

kyungsoo doesn't respond, he only follows your voice and finds you in the living room, lounging on the couch with some...thing swaddled in a baby blue blanket in your arms.

he doesn't even notice that you're holding something in your arms at first, he just starts talking.

"are you- what the fuck is that?"

you gasp dramatically, holding the thing closer to your chest. "kyungie, watch your language around the babies!"

kyungsoo is confused and he can feel a headache coming on. he rubs his temples and decides to approach this calmly. "y/n, you better explain yourself."

"come and look at them while i tell you how i got them!" you adjust your body to show kyungsoo what's in your arms after he plops down beside you.

kyungsoo's eyes go wide as he stares at two smaller pairs of beady black eyes look back at him. "i'm going to ask again. what the fuck are those?"

"they're baby fruit bats! which are also called-" you start saying, but your husband interrupts you.

"i don't want to know. where did you get them?" is kyungsoo's next question.

and you ramble on about how one of your close friends found some abandoned baby bats that need a place to stay and recover. you explain that your heart hurt seeing the poor things so sad and weak, that it was your duty to take care of them when their mother couldn't.

kyungsoo wonders how he married you (he allowed you to keep the baby bats until they were ready to be released).

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Fan Fiction: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: Not only did Chuck write books about your lives, but a damn musical theater is putting a play on about your goddamn lives. You try to let them handle this one on their own but they're not letting you go, and it's time to bring insurance to make sure you never leave them.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

Marie and Maeve are back in the auditorium but Marie is panicking.

"Hey!" Dean exclaims and rushes over to Marie. "Are you okay?"

"Not really," she gasps.

"Why don't you guys calm her down and I'll find wooden stakes in the trunk."

Sam leaves and Dean kneels down to get on Marie's level.

"Is Marie gonna get eaten?" Maeve asks.

"If we're lucky," you glare.

"Nothing is going to happen. Don't listen to her. Marie, look at me." When she does, he continues. "As soon as that curtain rises, we're going to be there to take out Calliope."

"This is all my fault. If I hadn't written this dumb play, none of this would've happened."

"First of all this play isn't dumb." You open your mouth to say something when Dean glares at you. "It's not dumb."

"I thought you didn't believe in this interpretation?"

"I don't. Like, at all, but you do. I need you to believe in it with all you've got so we can kill Calliope and save your friends. Can you do that?"

"Yeah." She takes a deep breath. "If Sam, Dean, and Y/N were real, they wouldn't back down from a fight. Especially my sweet, brave, selfless Sam. There's nothing he can't do."

"I'm not touching that subject," Dean shakes his head.

"Okay, let's do this!" She grabs a dark wig that the young woman was using who was playing Sam. "I understudy Sam. I used this for my one-woman Orphan Black show, last year. it's gonna have to work for Sam." She puts the wig on her head. "Writer. Director. Actor. I'm gonna Barbra Streisand this bitch."

Guess it's time for a fucking show. People pile into the auditorium once the show is about to begin to see this either rock or go up in flames. The curtains are closed so no one sees what's happening backstage. The girl who plays Dean walks past Dean wearing the amulet that Sam gave him all those years ago. You're not sure what happened to that necklace.

"The Samuelt?" Dean asks Marie.

"That amulet is a symbol of the Winchesters' brotherly love."

Sam comes back with three wooden stakes he's prepared for the fight that will happen. He hands you yours, and you yank it from his grasp angrily. All the girls line up and Sam scans them with a frown.

"Wait a second, where's Chuck?"

"Oh, I love him, I do, but the whole author introducing himself into the narrative thing is just not my favorite. I kind of hate the meta stories," Marie says.

"Alright, listen up, girl," Dean announces. "Now, you're all here because you love Supernatural. I know I have expressed some differences of opinion regarding this particular version of Supernatural. Tonight is all about Marie's vision. This is Marie's Supernatural. So, I want you to get out there, I want you to stand as close as she wants you to, and I want you to put as much sub and add text as you possibly can. There is no other road. No other way. No day, but today."

"Did he quote Rent?" Maeve whispers to Marie.

"Now, you get out there, and you kick it in the ass!"

The girls cheer from the pep talk and encourage each other. They all separate to either go backstage or on stage as they get ready. You and Dean stand on one side of the stage while Sam stands on the other side, all with stakes in hand. Marie slips through the curtain to address the audience.

"This is stupid," you hiss at Dean.

"Shut up and keep an eye out."

"Good evening, everybody! Welcome to our production of Supernatural. I'm not gonna lie. It might be a full-on Gallagher show opening up this piece. Uh, those of you in the front rows may want to use the ponchos we provided for you under your seats. You may, in fact, get wet on this ride. Um, I would like to thank the cast and crew--"

"She's stalling. Let's do this," Dean says to Maeve.

"Copy that. Curtain, kids. It's showtime."

The music starts playing, making Marie jump in surprise.

"That concludes our introduction for the night. Everybody sit back, relax, and enjoy the show."

Marie scurries on stage as the curtains open. The beginning number of singing your life introduction sounds and the girl who plays Dean steps forward. The song you heard when you first arrived starts playing, and she goes through the song about how John and Mary got together, had Sam and Dean, your mother dying, blah, blah, blah.

Dean seems to be enjoying the song while you're absentmindedly playing at the thing on your neck. You can't fucking believe Dean did this. When did he have time to search for something like this? Has he been planning this for a while? Was Sam in on it? You look over at Sam in time to see the big scary scarecrow appear behind him. Apparently, Dean sees it too because he starts warning his brother who is confused.

"Turn around!" Dean yells slightly lower than the music playing. Sam turns to face the scarecrow who grabs him. This is all happening while the girls on stage act and sing. "Come on."

"Do we have to," you complain. Dean drags you along backstage to get to where Sam is, but the younger brother is nowhere to be found once you get to his spot. "Where the hell did he go?"

The first act ends and goes straight into the next one where Fake!Dean and Fake!Cas are having a conversation on fake phones.

"Okay, you can pop in tomorrow morning."

"Yes. I'll just wait here, then," Fake!Cas sighs.

Another song starts playing which is a solo moment for the girl who plays Cas. You and Dean rush over to Marie who is already backstage. Apparently, she saw the moment Sam was taken.

"What do we do now?" she panics.

"Just, stick to the plan, okay? Keep singing until the scarecrow comes for you."

"Don't die, okay?" you grin and pat her back as you walk away from her.

Marie walks on stage as soon as Cas' part is over so she can begin singing her part as Sam. She is nervous about what's about to happen but is acting like a professional. The scarecrow appears behind Marie to consume her, and that's when Dean jumps into action. He jumps onto the scarecrow, forgetting he's on stage in front of a large audience. Both Fake!Sam and Fake!Dean keeps singing as if this isn't happening behind them. You look to the audience to see one of the members in the front row put his poncho on.

The scarecrow and Dean wrestle before the monster throws Dean across the stage over to you. He slides right in front of your feet, and Dean glares up at you.

"Help!"

"Fine," you roll your eyes.

You twirl the stake in your hands as you walk onto the stage. You're not fucking scared of this thing. You'll fucking take it down before it realizes what's going on. The scarecrow runs at you to tackle you but you quickly move out of the way before he can touch you.

"Missed me!" you laugh.

You jump onto the scarecrow's back to strangle him but he grabs both your arms in retaliation. He uses all of his immense strength to flip you over him and to the front of the stage. You quickly get up and ram your stake into his chest. You turn him so his back is facing the audience and yours is facing the backdrop of the set. You step back from the scarecrow when you see it start to tremble.

The scarecrow explodes in a purple goo substance, covering almost everyone in the audience. A bit of goo gets on your jacket to which you huff out in annoyance. You walk toward Dean and shove the stake into his chest.

"You're welcome," you scoff and walk off.

Silence falls on the audience until the guy wearing the poncho stands up and begins clapping. Everyone in the audience follows suit, and Dean steps next to a starstruck Marie.

"Take a bow, Sammy."

Marie, Dean, and Fake!Dean takes a bow for the audience. It's a good time to take an intermission for the rest of the crew to get ready for the final act. Sam suddenly appears with Ms. Chandler and the other young girl who went missing. It's time to finally get out of this shitty town and back to the Bunker, so Sam and Dean are saying their goodbyes.

"You did good out there, kid," Dean says to Marie.

"You're not so bad yourself."

"You know what? This has been educational to see the story from your perspective. Keep writing Shakespeare."

"Even if it doesn't match how you see it?"

"I have my version, and you have yours."

The light starts flickering to signal it's almost time to go on again.

"One minute, folks. One minute," Maeve announces.

You and Dean walk away from Marie, but she stops him from going far.

"Dean?" She must believe you're who you say you are. "You should have never thrown this away."

She gives him the prop Samulet he noticed earlier. Dean chuckles as he takes it, and he admires it.

"It never really worked. I don't need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother."

"Just take it. Jerk."

"Bitch," Dean automatically says.

He quickly realizes it's not Sam he's talking to and blushes in embarrassment. Marie laughs at him before turning to you.

"Y/N, look, I don't know what's going on with you, but the Y/N I read about has a love so strong for Dean that nothing can break it. I just thought you'd want a reminder of it."

You take two steps closer to her before Dean has a chance to do something.

"The last thing I'd want to remember is my lame-ass excuse of a husband."

You turn and walk away, not missing the way Dean's eyes fill with sadness and hurt. What you're saying to him and about him is really hurting him, and that fact brings a smirk to your face. Dean pushes back the tears and walks to Sam.

"You know what, Dean? You were right. Staying cooped up isn't helping us. We need--"

It's as if the universe aligned perfectly because the next scene starts with Fake!Sam and Fake!Dean in the car. They're having a conversation that perfectly fits with what Sam was about to say.

"We need to get back on the road, Dean. Doing what we do best."

"What is that?" Marie asks.

"You're right, Sammy. Out on the road. Just the two of us."

"The two of us against the world," Fake!Sam says.

"What she said," Sam smiles and nudges his brother.

The scene moves onto a different one where all the characters get on stage to sing a cover of Carry On Wayward Son. Characters you know in real life. A girl steps on stage that you're not sure you recognize, but when you do, a smirk grows on your face.

"Who's that?" Sam asks Maeve.

"That's Adam. John Winchester's other kid. He's still trapped in the cage in Hell with Lucifer."

Poor son of a bitch.

"Carry on my wayward son / There'll be peace when you are done / Lay your weary head to rest / Don't you cry no more / Once I rose above the noise and confusion / Just to get a glimpse behind this illusion / I was soaring ever higher."

The song continues as Sam and Dean watch with raw emotion in their eyes.

"Masquerading as a man with the reason / My charade is the event of the season / And if I claim to be a wise man / It surely means I don't know / Carry on my wayward son / There'll be peace when you are done / Lay your weary head to rest / Don't you cry no more / Carry on."

You grab both of their shoulders and fit your head between theirs so they both can hear you above the singing.

"I am so glad I don't have a soul because that was painful to watch."

When you leave, Dean turns to Sam with tears in his eyes.

"Purifying her soul better work because I need my wife back."

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[lagomorphics]

Majora's Mask remaster for the Nintendo Switch OLED screen could you please make a relationship chart for your AU's 🥹👉👈

ABSOLUTELY. SMILES. i've only made charts for narigoatlamb / narilamb but at some point i'll probably do some big charts including the bishops and other side characters :)

PUTTING IT UNDER THE CUT THOUGH BECAUSE THIS GETS. VERY VERY LONG. because i looove overexplaining myself <3

starting with lucky card!! since i'm still working out everything for how i want these threes dynamics to evolve i only have one version of their relationship </3 but heres my longass ramble on each dynamic:

Ines and Jahel's relationship kinda takes front and center for most of the au, since they're in close proximity most of the time, and they care about eachother A LOT. pre-Ines' deal they were 'friends', and only got closer because of All This Mess. Ines likes the fact they can be themself around Jahel, and Jahel loves Ines for all their snark and charm <3

Ines and Nari spend a lot of time having a very hot n cold relationship. Narinder usually texts Ines and holds the deal over their head to get them to go somewhere or come to the casino for something, which pisses Ines OFF because they like DOING THINGS, NARINDER. Nari has a very hard time being emotional and is practically A Wall, and Ines is. well. the opposite. Ines does think Nari is extremely hot, and (while annoyed) does go along with the deal they have, but it's only really late into things do they actually start to genuinely Fall for Nari. Nari falls first, because Ines' presence starts becoming less of an annoyance and more of something she.. really enjoys. Sorry about the divorce in their future

AND FOR THE MOST STRANGE OF THE BUNCH. HOO BOY. Nari does NOT trust Jahel (for very funny reasons. haha. lmao. lol.) and thinks they're going to ruin everything she has been trying to accomplish. Jahel is doing everything they can to convince her like "hey. i know. i swear i'm not that." but its. a very very slow process. The two probably wouldn't ever be alone with oneanother until like halfway through the plot, where Nari DOES try to kill Jahel. lol. it's fine. I'd say after that they'd start trying to get along a little better. They don't fall in love until post Nari's 'defeat' though

i also included a little funny. Jahel has another connection that they feel very very conflicted about :) wow i wonder who that is. aha. whaat. runs away extremely fast.

SNAH au <33 three lil versions of their dynamic evolving (can you tell i REALLY rotate this au around)

to start off; when Narinder was TOWW, Lambert was VERY infatuated with him, to the point that they kinda convinced themself that despite how much he talks about sacrifice, they would be the exception. To TOWW though, he grew to care about them and admired how vengeful they were, but watched as that vengence slowly cooled and mellowed out, almost resenting it. He always planned to sacrifice them, because to him; what's a greater honour than that? he promised he'd make theirs meaningful, though. Obviously Lambert did not like this in the slightest.

Post-defeat and for the early days of their relationship, Nari just kinda hated them really bad. To him, Lambert took EVERYTHING from him, including his own death. my Nari is.... not the most stable at the start? he struggles a lot mentally, and (if the day ever came) he knew he wanted death to be his end, to not even have That pissed him off. Lambert, however, still has lingering feelings for him, because at the end of the day, Narinder was like a friend to them. he did listen to them, let them spend time with him, gave them advice etc etc... so it hurts a lot to know that a) he was gonna sacrifice them (they are very pissed off about that still) and b) he is actively making everything difficult. it does not help that Nari is able to read minds and can use magic, hes causing problems and its stressing them out </3

they do eventually get to a point of being friendly though!

AND THE LAST ONE. so in SNAH, Nari DOES die at a specific point (lol), and it is an extremely rough time for both of them because Narinder realises Oh actually. i dont want to die. and his time in the afterlife is horrible, and Lambert is freaking the hell out because Holy shit. Hes dead. Oh my god. They actually personally go and retrieve his soul because the last thing they wanted was to potentially fail the resurrection ritual, but after all that happens they both just... grow closer. Narinder realises that Lambert cares about him so much, always reaches out for him and is ready to catch him at any moment. He realises he does still care about them, and he also starts to appreciate mortal life and everything way more. what dying does to a mf.

Nari dying also made Lambert realise their infatuation HAD changed into being genuine love and care, and also it hurt really bad to see him like that. it also helped them connect better to the domain they now rule over, and just... they realise that they never want to see him hurting like that again. they really do love him and want him by their side, if he wants that too. (they get. way better at Being Normal about their own emotions)

AH!!! AGH!!! (BLOWS UP)

[3600frames]

Would you also consider looking over beika tweets for any new insights or maybe things the translation looks over?

[edit: made an easier-to-read version of my edits here]

ok this started getting MUCH longer than i expected so i'll put everything but the first one under the cut.

[...]and then after a little while, he told me that he had debuted with a band[...]

When I first read this and checked the JP text it seemed right but I’d also been looking for as many JP reactions to the booklet as I could possibly find and not a single one brought up anything akin to that… so checking the specific phrasing in the JP again

しばらくしてバンドデビューしたから��ていうんで

The literal information being communicated being “band debut-did”, ending with a quoting particle (って) and “to say” (いう). “って言う” being a way of directly quoting a statement... when written in using the 言 kanji. When spelled only in hiragana (っていう), it can gain an alternate meaning of quoting hearsay (explained here, using the more formal と form). So with this definition, it’d be more like

[...]and then some time later, I heard about how he’d debuted with a band[...]

There’s a part of me that wondered if it’s supposed to be ambiguous, but there’s the fact I haven’t seen a single native speaker read it like that, and how it seems you only use the 言 for something Actually Said, and the fuller tweet in context:

ハイカラ行くって言いだして行って、しばらくしてバンドデビューしたからっていうんで

言 IS used for the “I’m going to Inkopolis” statement, which makes that seem like a direct quote, contrasting with the “[the band debut]” being something only heard about...I think.

オマージュじゃんてよく言われるけど、あんたらの曲ならこれぐらいカッコよくできますけど？ていうかこっちのほうが300倍よくね？って言ってるだけで、オマージュとかそういうのじゃねーから

Well, people often say it's a homage to their song, but any of you guys would be able to make a song that's just as cool. I mean our song is this one 300 times better, right? Just wanted to make it clear that we're not trying to pay homage to it or anything like that.

→ I get a lot of people thinking it’s an homage, but just for the record, I was only trying to express, like “If it’s you lots’ “music” we’re talking about, then obviously we could make it SO much cooler, y’know. I mean like, our version is 300 times better, right?”. That’s all. It wasn’t meant as a damn homage.

Okay I assume the “あんたらの曲なら” is what got interpreted as “any of you guys would be able to[...]” but I absolutely think it’s “snidely referring to the original song in a way that implies it has much room for improvement”. Also wanted to emphasize the “じゃねーから” at the end.

今のハイカラはスカしすぎてると思う。ただ、ちょっと昔だけど、フロムボトムは面白いかな。

I think the Inkopolis scene is too pretentious, but Bottom Feeders are pretty cool even though it's been a while since I've listened to them.

→ I think the Inkopolis scene has become way too pretentious. However, I know they’re kinda old news now, but those Bottom Feeder guys are pretty cool.

The JP had the interesting specification of that “pretentious” comment being made about the Inkopolis of now (今のハイカラ). Also, the ちょっと(a bit) 昔 comment was very much directed at Bottom Feeders, which on the JP side was very much seen as an audacious way to refer to presumably still-active artists. (...and that immediately being followed with courting a collab with someone of Finn’s temperament, the response was mostly along the lines of “oh you’re gonna get your ass whooped for that.”)

C-sideで、きかせてやりたいんだよ。バンカラだろうがハイカラだろうが、このごちゃまぜの時代に鳴り響く、ほんとにピュアな音

I'd like to play songs for everyone. No matter if they're from the Splatlands or Inkopolis, I want to create really fresh tunes that make people feel at home in this era of chaos.

→I want to play along with the rest of C-Side so you all can hear it. This truly pure sound that'll reverberate throughout this era of chaos, no matter whether it's the Splatlands or Inkopolis.

pure sound(?).

Fun JP-specific quirks that may give insights:

1) The overall speech patterns are very informal/colloquial (even more so while drunk), except for the “Now or Never is a C-Side original” statement which suddenly ends with the formal sentence ender です/desu.

Now or NeverはC-Sideのオリジナルです。 

2) I said in an earlier post that Beika uses ore in kanji which is true but specifically during the drunk-tweeting they use it in hiragana for it instead (おれ同中だから)... which doesn’t seem intentional on their part on both a consistency level and hiragana-ore being this kinda paradoxical thing where softness of using hiragana clashes with the tougher image of ore. So what I think happened is that they drunkenly didn’t bother/forgot to hit the input that turns it into kanji. Very specific I know.

3) The word they use to collectively refer to Squid Squad is 連中(renchuu) which is a very fun word where the connotations drastically change depending on who you’re using it for (very derogatory here).

4) I get why this didn’t get TL’d because both the dialogue and song name being the same syllabary lessens the impact, but it’s very funny to be so smug about typing out the whole song name after not remembering (or pretending not to) their band name multiple times…

じゃなんで連中のSplattack（合ってる？笑をC-Sideでカバーしたの、

…while also forgetting to close the bracket.

So, you’re probably wondering why we covered that Splattack (did I get it in one? LMAO song of theirs.

(also you forgot the exclamation mark so no you didn’t)

5) Definitely a case of “this works more naturally in JP”:

Oh, their music? Well, I guess it's not as bad as it used to be.

The ? in the JP doesn’t explicitly end the sentence in the JP (あいつらの音？は前よりマシ) so it could also be read with the connotation of:

Oh, well, I guess their music(?) isn’t as bad as it used to be.

Whatever That Means. Also the TL of it is good I just wanted to mention the “compliment” used is マシ, which has the implication of the less bad out of two undesirable options lol.

[carnelianwings]

Since @orchids-skyflame asked me over on Twitter which version of the AsuCaga kiss in Seed I prefer more, I figured I'd just write the Massive Wall of Text here, because the post I was writing in Notes on my phone was getting crazy long, to the point where I'm pretty sure it's more than 4 screen shots.

As a refresher, this is a(n unsubbed) clip someone posted of the original version off of the original DVD release of Seed, and this is the same scene, but from the remaster. The dialogue for both versions is the same, but it's the animation that's different, and I think it leads to some changes in how the scene comes across, and I think it's worth discussing.

But if you're not here for a Massive Wall of Text (that will include discussion of AsuCaga into Seed Destiny and Seed Freedom) and just want the short version, the answer is the original, even if AsuCaga kissing with the Earth in the background makes for a very pretty and romantic picture.

(Long answer behind the cut, in writing about this scene I kind of just ran off on an entire tangent about them so, uhhh, take it as you will? XD)

The biggest difference between the two versions is what Athrun does is the opposite - in the original, he pulls Cagalli into his arms before telling her he's glad they met, whereas the remaster has him moving towards her and surprising/flustering her with the hug. And watching both back to back, I realized I came away with two very different sets of feelings from each version.

In the remaster, with Athrun going to Cagalli and hugging her, it puts a greater emphasis on his vow to protect her. He's moving towards her, to cover and shield her, and with the Earth behind both of them as they're kissing, it's putting this idea that Athrun is going into this final battle to protect Cagalli and the Earth. And while that does align with his character and nature as a protector first and foremost, it doesn't match his mindset at that time, and it's something that I think the original scene does a better job of.

With the original, there's a vulnerability to Athrun's body language pulling Cagalli towards him that mirrors his mental/emotional vulnerability in that moment - he has to open his arms (thus metaphorically opening himself up) to pull her in and hold her close. Up until the moment he was shot by his father, he'd believed that his own life had value and meaning to his father, that he was more than a tool, that he was doing something meaningful by fighting to protect PLANT in the service of its military. That his father, like him, was fighting to prevent another Bloody Valentine, and if Athrun had to sacrifice himself in the process, so be it. But GENESIS changed all of that, and it made Athrun realize his father was so lost in his anger and need for revenge that he could no longer see reason, let alone stop and listen to his last remaining family, his own son (who arguably, as a father, Patrick would be hoping to create a better future for) reach out to him to say "Hey, maybe killing all the Naturals isn't the answer here".

And in the process, Athrun's left adrift, separated by his father due to the massive difference in their ideals - despite having a new cause to fight for, it still doesn't help him deal with his inner turmoil in finding he no longer believes in the cause he risked his life for, and, by extension, his connection to his father. What hope is there for him, then, if he can't even talk his own father down from believing and spreading the idea that genocide is the answer? He hasn't given much thought to what comes after - after all, why should he if there's no reason he'd live to see tomorrow - but at the very least in joining the Clyne Faction and the Three Ships Alliance he can protect the people he cares about and stop both sides from destroying each other in an all-out war of mutual destruction.

So here he is, getting ready to sortie into what's shaping up to be the final battle, and he's ready to sacrifice himself here if it means he can stop his father from ending all life on Earth as they know it (and simultaneously make up for it). And here comes Cagalli, telling him she's going out there this time too, because she "doesn't want him to die". And it's not even a general "I don't want more people to die (because I've had enough people I care about die)", it's a very specific "I'm going out there, to make sure you don't die ... and to make sure Kira, who's maybe my little brother (read: my last surviving blood family member) doesn't die either", with an unspoken "because both of you are so important to me I'm willing to risk my life to make sure both of you come back from this battle alive" attached to it.

And Athrun's surprised, because this entire time, he's been told "You're a soldier, if you die fighting to protect PLANT, if you die in battle carrying out your duty as a soldier, your sacrifice will be worth it to make sure PLANT stays safe for another day, so it's okay to throw your life away for this." And it's Cagalli who's reminding him (again) that here's someone who sees value in him continuing to live, someone who desperately wants him to keep living, because she genuinely and sincerely cares about and loves him as an individual, at least as much, if not arguably more than her last surviving family member. And in him pulling her into his arms, it's like he's taking those feelings and accepting and cherishing them, holding them close to him - his heart, really - because in doing so, she gave him a purpose and meaning and something to live for at a time when he felt like he had nothing.

And this sets the stage for the later scene inside GENESIS' reactor room, where she tells him it's a bigger battle to keep living instead of sacrificing himself there like that (so won't he take her hand, her offer of salvation, by hopping in the Rouge with her so they can escape together). And I'm sure it's here that he's decided (if he hadn't before when he kissed her) that he'd live (and die) for her, because more than any other person in his life, she's the one person who most consistently tells him to live, and to keep living no matter what, because he's as important to her as what's left of her family.

And it also feeds into his desperation in Seed Destiny - he really didn't want to go back to ZAFT, but as Alex Dino he had no power, and power is what he needed because between Cagalli's arranged marriage to Yuna and the world spiraling into war again, he felt powerless to stop anything and again, lost his sense of purpose. But at the same time, Cagalli did too, and it's not until the end, when she's sending off the Archangel and they, again, hold each other before a final battle, that there's this wordless exchange. They're both building a better future that has a place for both of them to be together, side by side. And like before, it's him initiating the hug by taking her into his arms, but this time it's the opposite; this time it's him saying "I know you're no longer wearing my ring, but it's okay, we don't need to rush, I still cherish and love you despite everything that's happened." And her hugging him back despite her initial hesitation (because she's the one who took the ring off in the first place as to say she's breaking up with him) is her response - even if she has to (publicly) let him go for now, he's still important to her, she still holds onto him in her heart as tightly as he holds her in his.

So is it any surprise, then, when the chips are (arguably) down, it's Cagalli that Athrun thinks of? That she is his mental (and emotional) shield, to the point that she's enough to turn the tide of the duel in his favor? That despite saying upon their first meeting that he'd kill anyone who tries to steal the Aegis from him, he willingly cedes control of both the Amazing Z'Gok and the Infinite Justice Type II to Cagalli, a less skilled pilot, for her to control them remotely? And when he finally taps into his inner strength to decisively win the duel, it's her colors that come bursting out of his Seed break animation as he's telling Shura that true strength isn't in combat prowess but the will to live (something that Cagalli's taught and reminded Athrun of time and time again)?

On the flip side, the remaster mostly has Cagalli present as a passive participant in the scene - Athrun surprises her with the hug, he's the one who makes the move to kiss her and it's not until near the end as the camera pans back that she kisses him back. It's set up to emphasize Athrun's half of the promise. The original still has her surprised by the hug, but the kiss? That was mutual. She meets him in the middle, and it makes her an active participant in that scene, on par with her Action Girl status up until that point. And it puts her on equal importance, that her vow of protection - despite being the less skilled pilot out of the two of them - is just as important as his, that to Athrun, her determination and desire to protect him is equal to his determination and desire to protect her.

And that desire is what drives her to keep trying her hand at diplomacy and politics even when she's (quite frankly) terrible at it in the beginning of Seed Destiny, because she's been out-maneuvered by people who don't agree with her world view that Naturals and Coordinators can live in harmony (because what they don't realize is that "Alex Dino" is as much her strength as she is his). And in the end, when she ultimately starts getting results (in large part thanks to Durandal conveniently killing off the Seirans and their political allies), it's in service of creating an Orb where Athrun also has a place next to her, not in disguise, but out in the open as himself.

And it's a real pity that Seed Freedom doesn't give Cagalli the opportunity to tap into her Seed mode, because despite the time they spend (physically) apart he's as much a part of her life as she is a part of his, and it would've been nice to have seen it represented on screen with his colors bursting out of her Seed break animation.

So all in all, I like the original version better, because I think it ties better into their future relationship and reflects their situations better.

[yuukei-yikes]

chatting with my kagefriend @hibihiiyo about ayaki

i keep imagining how whenever shintaro activates retaining, all the routes bleed together in his mind so post str since its his constant state it's confusing AND terrifying to live past that august once and for all. like, it goes on beyond what he has known and remembers hundreds of versions of. so picture that, but from ayaki's perspective.....

all those routes, and shintaro finally knows. constantly. because shintaro will ALWAYS remember at one point, but then he'll forget again. ayaki is used to it. in fact she resents how she looks forward to it because it's the only time she interacts with... anything!!! she has actual influence when shintaro activates her. depending on what she says shintaro will say something different. routes always differ, at least slightly, but seeing shintaro at the end before it starts again is her one chance to say ANYTHING before she waits thousands of years again until shintaro is born and grows to be 18. she has actual presence when he remembers, even if they're tiny pockets of time in her eternity. however post str this is constant. shintaro is There.

and you know who else is there. HERSELF. time for ayano math.

ayano just fucking hates herself that's like. ayano 101. but what happens when there's 2 of them. they both hate themselves for doing things but those things are vastly different from each other. so... same person, different contexts and choices. which one is most hated by both? the answer is. well. whichever is alive!!

Because THAT ayano, so basically our final route ayano, has everything. but... erm, SHE wasn't supposed to Make It. ayano is never supposed to survive. ayano staying is an anomaly. and ayaki will continue to be miserable as her family and friends are alive and she is not there to be by their side, but that's always been part of the deal, she knew that she wasn't ever getting "a happy ending" because her Happiest Ending is her family's safety. her very existence is being doomed for infinity. but this route's version of her staying around and... GETTING A HAPPY ENDING!??!?!?! THAT.... WAS NOT EVER EVEN CONSIDERED.

shintaro continues to astonish her when he pulls something like this, letting ayano survive? SAVING ayano? who the hell does he think he is. hasnt ayaki suffered enough? why is she also cursed to watch herself get a happy ending. she doesn't deserve it and ayaki knows ayano knows she doesn't deserve it.

THIS ayano roped kano into it, she basically threw haruka and takane at the wolves, she left her siblings completely unprotected. ayaki was Left because she was willing to do something extreme and awful and scared her siblings away and made it right in her mind by cursing herself to be This, just for her "succesful" version to kill herself out of the situation AND get put on a pedestal for it? bullshit!!!!

this route's ayano is glorified and praised by her siblings and welcomed back with open arms and tears. this ayano gets to apologize and make things right, she gets to eat her favorite food again, she gets to become friends with mary, she gets to go on a date with shintaro, she gets her siblings to trust her. she gets everything despite she was a coward and wronged everyone FAR MORE than ayaki did, and she only suffered 2 years of the daze compared to ayaki's eternity in there.

hope articulated so spectacularly their thoughts abt ayaki's psyche that i am straight up quoting her text rn:

"she decided she’d punish herself by dying over and over again, and watching the people she loves die over and over again for all of eternity, until she manages to find some way to get thru to shintaro and fix it and never be able to be a human being again and live normally. thus is forced to become so numb, desensitized, and uncaring to pain and suffering that her otherwise human brain, which was never meant or designed to be turned into an immortal demi deity and the patron saint of suffering, would split in half and make her go insane. which it probably did. her human brain was not meant to live forever, to suffer forever, to watch others suffer forever, to watch the same mundane endless events with no agency or control over how they occur. death, pain, and suffering became tools to win her ultimate game of 5 dimensional, temporal chess and thus she can no longer abide by morals to fulfill her ultimate purpose. deci and ryan’s self determination theory states all humans need to feel relatedness, competency, and autonomy to thrive in their environment, and by martyring herself into a snake, ayaki chooses to deprive herself of all of these things. she is not good at her job and must fail over and over again for eternity because the story playing in front of her is RNG out of her control. ayaki cannot relate to anyone because nobody knows she’s there, not even shintaro except on rare instances. and ayaki has zero autonomy over anything, except her incredibly cryptic vague dreams that rarely even work"

ayaki's big curse is her humanity remaining. It's the pain she feels because of the love she feels, over and over, it nevers gets any easier and it never hurts any less, her love grows stronger and stronger with each reset. ayaki hates herself so much which is why she hates our route ayano Even More

[broodingheroine]

tmagp thoughts (this will be pure nonsense I just need to write it down)

alice is so tim coded

obviously there's a connection anyone can make to the multiple statements abt urban exploration/spelunking in tma and the redcanary forum thread.... it invites the horrors (connection to danny?)

gwen is a ✨️bouchard✨️ (implication that while its a parallel universe the same ppl still exist? supports possibility of spelunking forum thread connecting to danny somehow (not actually super sold on that but seen a lot of ppl mention it so))

colin is definitely going to succumb to the horrors :/ (either first to die OR..... this universes version of an avatar?)

CHESTER AND NORRIS!!!

I'm of the firm opinion that they're jmart BUT! but but but! I do believe they're echoes of who they were, this just so happens to be Somewhere Else.

also! yes I understand that we most likely will Not get any tma characters in any meaningful way in tmagp, however I also believe that alex and jonny couldve very easily.... not...... voiced the text to speeches....... like yeah I dont think we're getting jmart as we knew them but..... come on

also also. the text to speeches got less robot sounding the longer they were reading and it really reminded me of how ppl reading statements would slowly get invested as they were reading and emote as if it were happening to them.

sam is on the archivist (or tmagp equivalent) pipeline already yikes

the turpentine line was raw as fuck. so was the canary one obviously. don't want to beat a dead horse by talking abt that bc so many others have already said it. but! the institute is deadly stay away!!

the sound engineering is god tier I love all the bleeps and bloops

colin knows smth is Watching. inadvertently feeding the eye by being paranoid? does the eye even exist the same way it did in tma?

theres definitely smth to be said abt whether or not robert smirke did his thing the way he did in tma and if anyone in the know uses the same classification or if the oiar is the only group categorizing. the fears always kind of blurred together at certain points so maybe without the human interpretation of it being 14 distinct entities it's more of an..... amalgam?

magnus institute is in a different place which is interesting. if it was built for the same reasons (outside of just research) is there another panopticon esque structure underneath? (brings us back to if smirke was doing his thing)

very curious to see if theres gonna be a leitner books equivalent.

I deeply deeply deeply desire a michaela salesa cameo at some point. he's one of my fav side characters.

sam and gwen using classic horror characters to help him try and memorize the classification categories was very cute

another thing I'm sure everyone has talked abt already but the whole world wide WEB thing and possible jmart in the computers and omg they're in the web and the oiar is part of the web and blah blah blah u get the image.

lena is intriguing to me. my guess is she's going to be a gertrude esque character who knows at least the basics of what's really happening and is trying to put a stop to it.

I havent seen anyone talk abt like...... what IS the magnus protocol. like tma was the archives in the magnus institute. the magnus archives. self explanatory from like ep 1. what the hell is the magnus protocol. is it smth fr3-d1 will run? or the text to speeches? is it tmagp's version of a ritual? using protocol to reference the updated tech from tma? is it smth the actual organization has to run in the event of Something Happening? WHAT THE PROTOCOL WHATS IT FORRRRR

I know nothing abt the ARG shit, just to note that

okay I think that's it for now..... feel free to discuss in the notes lol