#I was debating over making this post but I couldn't remain silent

[pinkandpurple360]

yikes at that anon lecturing you, but especially at this part

Paying attention to Stolas language in Murder Family, fucked up context aside, he don't bring up consequences if Blitz didn't accept the trade neither mentioned his power to threat him to accept it either, he offered and even asked if it's fair, someone as powerful as Stolas could control Blitz easily, yet he doesn't and it shows a lot about his character, but of fucking course you all don't care about that, Stolas is a big meanie.

what is it with Stolas fans and acting like what he says is the only thing that matters in that scene? saying 'fucked up context aside' is just trying to sweep away the entire problem people have with that scene

the context is what makes it unfair. the context is the threat to make Blitzo accept the deal - Stolas knew Blitzo was in danger and couldn't think straight and kept the call going anyway. there was a literal threat to Blitzo's life that Stolas was leveraging to get him to agree. the context is also where the control comes in - Blitzo needs access to the book therefore Stolas has control over him, because Blitzo has significant reason to agree regardless of whether he wants to or not to be able to keep being able to eat and house both himself and Loona. this isn't that hard to understand; it's no different than a power difference between a tenant and a landlord. except Stolas is worse because he's literal royalty and Blitzo is part of a species considered less than dirt

and Blitzo especially has reason to think there will be consequences for saying no because Stolas is showing him through ignoring all the signs he's in danger on that phone call that he does not care for his wellbeing - he called when Blitzo's life was in danger and he knew that full well. there's no 'yeah but'-ing to get out of that one. saying 'well Stolas could have been way more overt with his control!' is not a defense. Stolas is such a malicious abuser because he's the one person in the cast who isn't a mustache-twirling silent movie villain about it, because he'll do things like say 'sound fair?' when everything about the situation is weighted in his favor. this part is basically saying 'he could have been super obvious about how he was going to force Blitzo into sex but because he tried to pretend like he was being fair (even when he blatantly wasn't) that shows what a good person he is!'

also this:

This misconception you all have that Stolitz fans think all this needs to happen is Blitz to confess, and that Stolas has nothing more to improve is just wrong. Just plain wrong. I love both of these characters and I hate seeing an enormous mischaracterization of both.

I personally haven't seen the (remaining) Stolitz shippers saying this for one simple reason: I avoid their spaces. I don't like seeing posts similar to anon's where anything Stolas does wrong is the result of a misunderstanding or just Blitzo taking it badly because he's insecure or something, or worse where the very obvious signifiers of abuse on Stolas' part are handwaved away. I know that stuff will bug me so I avoid it

but anon clearly doesn't abide by the same rules. they're so bothered by a 'mischaracterization' of their faves that they're marching into people's inboxes to write long screeds about how antis are just missing the point or whatever else.

if there's only one anon or several my advice is the same: stay out of anti spaces. you clearly can't handle it and you need to stop making it everyone else's problem. if this ramping up of pestering people is some strange attempt to shut down criticism of the next ep before it even drops, you're wasting your time. the view counts on helluva show it's turned off a lot of people and you can't debate someone back into loving something that's let them down too many times

just go enjoy the show in your own spaces and block tags/people whose takes you don't want to see. trying to police people's critiques on helluva is both a losing battle and a waste of time

“Stolas is great if you just pay attention to his sad backstory and try not to think about the bad stuff he did. And attribute all the bad stuff to Blitz being a mentally ill tsundere”

Any time I am exposed to a owlizard shipper it’s always against my will despite my best efforts, because they are absolutely everywhere. The creator of the show is one of them, the entire show was thrown out to instead be catered to them and their headcanons. They make up almost the entire fan space and in fact shippers write and animate the very show itself.

But it’s still not good enough? They still have to rant about people that aren’t on their team?

[yujeong]

I didn't have a Tumblr account when the scandal started. I actually created one around the end of May 2023, a little before Build had his comeback concert. However, I had a Twitter account, which means I saw everything: I saw Build crying at the sponsored event he had with Bible, I saw the confusing translations, I saw the official announcements, I saw all the hate and vitriol, I saw Poi's unhinged behavior, I saw it all. Those were some of the worst months of my life. Build's story felt personal. Not only because Pete became so important to me, not only because KinnPorsche the Series became a second home, but also because his story was similar to what I'd been through. I was experiencing my previous relationship that finished a mere few months before the scandal started all over again, and it fucking hurt. It hurt seeing him get so much hate. It hurt seeing people celebrate him leaving BOC. It hurt seeing him at the verge of tears outside the court house and it hurt not knowing if he was ever going to come back to acting or to the public eye at all. It still hurts. It's something that is never going to stop hurting. To me, this story has been over since last year. I knew he was innocent already, I didn't need the court decision to tell me that. But what happened today reminded me of something I'd always known but temporarily forgot: it was never over for Build. It will never be truly over for him. Today was a much needed victory, one he deserved a long time ago, but the scars this whole thing has left on him will remain there. And that's also something that hurts me and will never stop hurting me. I'm glad, too, Build. I'm glad you're still here and that you have your fans to support you. And since I'll probably never be able to tell you this up close, Thank you for giving me Pete. Thank you for everything.

[heirofnight]

coffee for two

pairing: azriel x reader

word count: 1.1k

summary: reader introduces coffee to azriel, he falls in love - and not just with the hot beverage.

a/n: this is just a fluffy little oneshot that was born from a headcanon that someone posted where it was mentioned that azriel would love black coffee. and like, i agree. and i had to write this immediately. also, hurricane hits tomorrow morning, and i'll likely be without power for an extended period of time. i'll post as i can! pls keep sending requests so i have things to write when i finally have power again. love u all! <3 talk soon.

azriel had a knack for trailing behind you - a moth to a flame, he couldn't help but find himself right next to you whenever the opportunity presented itself.

you hadn't yet noticed.

a newer addition to the inner circle's family, you were initially introduced to the group through your recruited assistance on a job - by rhysand, who had now become the protective older brother that you'd never had in just several short months.

however, you'd first ended up hitting it off with mor, and the rest was history - you'd since become an indoctrinated member of the family, and your presence was welcomed wholeheartedly - you were boisterous, funny, a bright, beaming light.

and azriel could not, for the life of him, stay away.

you'd become comfortable with every one of his loved ones to some extent - they all adored you, took care of you, worried after you.

but az .... there still remained a question mark over the male. you couldn't quite figure out how he felt about your presence.

sure, you'd caught him softly smirking over at you when you'd crack one of your witty jokes. and sure, he'd often speak up whenever you found yourself in a pointless debate with cassian over various family dinners - the shadowsinger never failing to stand up for you and take your side, even if the mock argument was all in good fun.

one time, you were running late for said dinner, and az had gone out of his way to make sure the house had prepared your favorite meal - your plate was steaming hot and waiting for you on a placemat right next to his own seat whenever you'd finally made your way into the dining hall.

cass had just snickered down the table, waggling his eyebrows at his brother's obvious show of affection. azriel remained silent, shooting daggers back towards the war general. that was enough of a response to shut cassian's mouth.

this morning, you'd taken a spot at that same table for breakfast, nursing a mug of hot, dark liquid. the pungent aroma trailed throughout the bottom level of the house, and azriel caught a whiff of it as soon as his boots met the landing of the staircase.

he inhaled deeply, the scent engulfing his senses. it was pleasant - deep and calming. he followed it all the way to the threshold of the dining hall, his gaze finding your small frame tucked into one of the large, cushioned chairs immediately.

you were still wearing your silk nightgown, a matching robe adorning your shoulders. he noted the way the fabric had slipped down just slightly, your bare skin glistening in the morning glow that trickled through the windows behind you.

your hair was tousled, but in the most endearing way. you'd clearly very recently woken up, opting to find your way to this very table before doing anything else.

you stared down at the mug cradled in your hands, your eyes still heavy and tired.

"good morning," he said softly by way of greeting. he began to walk quietly to the chair opposite yours - the thump, thump, thump of his boots against the hardwood floor breaking the calm silence.

you peered up at him, tired eyes slightly squinted. a strand of hair falling in front of your eyes. azriel's gaze snagged there, his fingers twitching with the urge to tuck it behind your ear. he didn't, though - his external expression remained as neutral as possible. however, internally, he couldn't help but let the word adorable sluice through his thoughts.

you gave him a sleepy smile, nodding your head once in greeting.

"good morning, az," you offered, voice still maintaining a fatigued rasp. azriel's knees went weak at the sound, and that's when he decided it would probably be best to sit.

he stared at the contents of your mug for a moment. you weren't indulging in tea - the aroma was much stronger than any he'd personally had before, and azriel thought himself to be quite the tea connoisseur.

"what are you having?," he questioned after a moment, his voice more gentle than you'd ever heard it.

you swallowed the sip you'd just taken, humming quietly to yourself, "coffee," you lightly pushed the mug towards his side of the table, "would you like to try?"

you met his gaze, and azriel realized right then that he'd try anything you'd ask him to - without question, if only to make you happy. even if he hated it, he'd pretend to love it. he longed to make you smile the way his brothers had.

he'd not tried coffee before, although he had heard of it. the opportunity had never arisen, and he figured now was as good a time as any to broaden his scope of morning beverages.

he, too, really enjoyed his alone time right after awakening. it gave him space to sort through his thoughts, his obligations for the day - and he always enjoyed a nice hot cup of tea while doing so.

his scarred hands reached for the mug, and he lifted it to his lips slowly. you smiled fondly while watching him, nodding slightly to urge him on.

"it's a bit strong," you said softly, "i do prefer mine black - without cream or sugar," you added, explaining yourself.

he hummed, taking a generous sip into his mouth. it was bitter, and azriel wasn't quite used to the depths of flavor that he sorted through as soon as the liquid hit his tongue. he thought for a long moment, before taking another small sip.

he nodded in finality, pushing the mug back towards you gently.

"i like that," he decided, nodding once more.

your smile grew as you clasped the mug between your hands once more, "i thought you'd might," you said sweetly, reaching over to tap his hand affectionately.

azriel preened to himself, wishing he could take this moment and pause it for eternity. to never leave this chair, to never have to give up this alone time with you - your silk nightgown, messy hair, and tired eyes. your rosy cheeks. the scent of coffee twining around the both of you, making the air thicker in the sweetest way.

yeah, azriel wish he could freeze-frame this moment forever.

but instead, you both sat in comfortable silence, and the house knowingly presented azriel with his own identical cup of warm, black coffee. his large hand immediately reached out to tug it towards his frame.

you both huffed out a laugh at the same time, and your eyes flicked up to his in realization.

finally, you thought, i've gotten through to him. common ground.

little did you know, azriel had been scrambling after you for months - trying to stand on any ground you'd give him.

and the next morning, when you entered the dining hall bright and early - hair disheveled and half asleep, azriel was already there - waiting for you.

with two mugs of hot, black coffee already on the table.

a/n: yall i have no idea where this came from. someone posted a headcanon where they mentioned azriel loving black coffee, and this idea came to mind immediately. i hope you love it <3

[50calmadeuce]

Ch. 25 Home Between the Holidays

Warning: Mention of miscarriage. Some chapters have sex.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.

The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.

I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.

These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know. :)

You and Jake returned to your home in Wisconsin early on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. True to his nature, Jake insisted on handling all the heavy lifting himself, ensuring you remained comfortable. While he brought in your luggage, you strolled into the kitchen.

Your cell phone buzzed, and you saw that it was Dr. Colson calling. You answered with a casual, "Hey, Jason."

"Y/N, I was just calling to follow up on the Wyoming study," Jason said, diving straight into business.

You let out a sigh, feeling the weight of the conversation. You still hadn't broached the subject with Jake, and you knew how he'd react. Heading towards the office for some privacy, you replied, "I reviewed what you sent, and you're right. It doesn't add up. But, Jason, I can't go to Wyoming right now. Jake's home, and I need to talk to him about it."

Jason's voice was sympathetic. "I understand, Y/N. Family comes first. Just keep me posted on when you can make it out there. We need to get to the bottom of this."

"Of course," you replied, grateful for his understanding. "I'll talk to Jake tonight and let you know as soon as possible."

After ending the call, you took a deep breath, resting your head in your hands, you were lost in thought when you heard Jake's voice.

"Darlin', you alright?"

Startled, you lifted your head and turned to see Jake standing in the doorway of the office, concern etched on his face.

You managed a small smile, trying to mask your inner turmoil. "Yeah, I'm fine," you replied, hoping he wouldn't see through the facade.

Jake stepped into the room, his concern deepening as he approached you. "You sure? You seem a bit off."

You hesitated, debating whether to confide in him about the Wyoming study. But you knew you couldn't keep it from him any longer. Taking a deep breath, you decided to be honest. "Actually, Jake, there's something we need to talk about." You slowly walked over to him. "Before Thanksgiving, Jason asked if I would travel to Wyoming," you began, meeting Jake's gaze. "Apparently, Stryker's info isn't making any sense. Even the information he sent me isn't adding up."

Jake listened quietly as you spoke, his expression becoming more serious with each word. When you finished, he remained silent for a moment, processing the information.

Finally, he spoke, his voice calm but firm. "You know how I feel about Stryker," Jake said with a hint of frustration.

"I do," you replied softly.

He walked over to you, his hands gently finding their place on your slightly swollen tummy. "And you know how I feel about the pregnancy."

You placed your hand on his, the connection between you grounding and reassuring. The two of you locked eyes, sharing an unspoken understanding. "I do." Feeling the weight of his words, you took a deep breath, the reality of the situation settling in. Despite the challenges and uncertainties, you found solace in the unwavering support and love you shared with Jake.

"I just want to protect you and our baby," Jake said, his voice filled with emotion.

"I know, Jake," you replied, your voice gentle yet resolute. "And I appreciate that more than you'll ever know, but I still have a job to do."

"A job you said you didn't want, that's why you took the one here," Jake stated, his tone tinged with a mixture of concern and apprehension.

You nodded, acknowledging his concern. "I know, Jake. But this isn't about what I want anymore. It's about doing what's necessary to ensure our family's future, especially with the baby on the way."

Jake sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I just don't want you putting yourself in danger, especially now."

"I'll be careful, Jake. And I won't do anything without talking to you first," you assured him, your voice soft but determined. "But right now, we need to figure out what's going on with Stryker and the Wyoming study."

Jake looked at you, his expression softening as he realized the weight of your words. "Alright," he said finally, a hint of resignation in his voice. "But I'm going with."

You looked at him, incredulous. "Seriously?"

He met your gaze with a firm nod. "Seriously."

"I'll call Jason and let him know then," you said, determination in your voice.

"And Chuck is coming too," Jake added, confirming the decision.

"Okay," you replied, a bit surprised by the sudden addition but trusting Jake's judgment. "I'll let him know."

With the decision made, you felt a sense of relief wash over you.

"I'll call work and talk with them to see when we can leave," you said, already heading over to the desk.

"I'll finish bringing in the luggage," Jake offered.

"Just leave it in the mudroom," you instructed, already dialing John Andrysiak's number.

Jake nodded and exited the room, leaving you to make your call. As he left, Chuck entered the kitchen.

"Lieutenant. Welcome home. I have to say, I was shocked when Doc texted me that you were home," Chuck greeted, his surprise evident in his tone.

Jake looked at Chuck with a serious expression. "Chuck, what do you know about this Doctor Stryker?"

Chuck's surprise was evident as he considered the question. "I'm not a fan of his, that's for sure. Why do you ask?"

"Y/N has to go to Wyoming to fix something he screwed up," Jake explained, his frustration evident. "I want you to go with us."

Chuck nodded without hesitation. "Of course. I'll make sure everything is taken care of before we leave," Chuck assured.

"I'd appreciate it," Jake said, acknowledging Chuck's words, just as you walked out of the hallway from the office.

"It's all set. We leave Wednesday," you announced, glancing at Chuck. "Did he tell you?"

Chuck nodded. "Yes, Ma'am. I'll make sure everything is squared away by then."

"Thank you, Chuck," you replied gratefully, then turned back to Jake. "I'm going to go check on some emails."

"That's fine, darlin'. I'll take care of things here," Jake assured you with a reassuring smile.

You turned back around and headed towards the office.

You sat at your desk, your eyes fixed on the numbers displayed on the computer screen. You were trying to decipher what Stryker had done differently compared to the first time you went to Wyoming. While you understood that circumstances could change, the magnitude of the discrepancies suggested something more was at play. It was clear to you that there was more to this situation than initially met the eye.

There was a gentle knock on the door and you looked up and saw Jake.

"You looked so lost in thought that I didn't want to startle you," Jake said softly as he walked into the room.

You smiled warmly at him. "I don't think there's ever been a time when you've startled me, Jake. Surprised me, yes. Startled, no."

He approached you, his concern evident in his eyes. "Darlin', why don't you come eat dinner and get some rest? It's been a long day."

"You're right," you admitted, realizing just how exhausted you felt after the day's events. "Dinner and rest sound perfect." You slowly stood up, neatly organizing the papers into a pile and shutting down your computer.

Jake couldn't help but notice the weariness etched on your face. "Y/N, don't you think you're overdoing things?" he asked, his concern evident in his tone.

You paused, considering Jake's words. His concern was always genuine, and you appreciated his attentiveness to your well-being.

"I might be," you admitted with a soft sigh, feeling the weight of the day's responsibilities settling on your shoulders. "But this is my life, Jake. Just like being a fighter pilot is yours, this is mine," you explained, a hint of frustration in your voice. You wobbled slightly, feeling the strain of the day, and Jake rushed to your side.

"How about you go and take a bath, and I'll bring dinner to you?" Jake suggested gently, his concern evident in his voice. "Y/N, I know this is your life, and I still struggle with it, but you're wearing yourself out."

You paused, considering Jake's suggestion. His caring tone softened your frustration, and you realized he was right—you were pushing yourself too hard. Taking a deep breath, you nodded in agreement.

"Okay," you conceded, giving Jake a grateful smile. "A bath sounds heavenly right now."

Jake's concern melted into a gentle smile of his own. "I'll get everything ready for you," he promised, guiding you towards the bathroom with a supportive arm around your waist.

In the bathroom, Jake started running the bathwater as you began to undress, feeling the warmth of the steam from the water already soothing your tired muscles. You reached for a hair clip, quickly securing your hair into a loose bun to keep it from getting wet.

As you settled into the warm water, you let out a contented sigh, feeling the tension slowly melting away. The soothing aroma of lavender filled the air, calming your mind and easing your tired muscles. It was like stepping into a sanctuary, a moment of tranquility amidst the chaos of your day.

Jake kissed your forehead tenderly, his gesture filled with love and care, before quietly leaving you to relax and unwind in the comforting warmth of the bath.

With each passing minute, you could feel yourself unwinding, the weight of responsibility lifting from your shoulders. Jake's thoughtful gesture brought a sense of comfort and relief, reminding you that you didn't have to face life's challenges alone.

As you soaked in the bath, your thoughts began to wander, despite your earlier hesitations about Jake re-entering your life after four years. You couldn't help but imagine what it might have been like if you had chosen a different path, if you had quit your job and embraced the life of a Navy pilot's wife.

You imagined a life where you and Jake navigated the challenges of military life together, supporting each other through deployments and homecomings, sharing the joys and sorrows of a life intertwined with the Navy. You envisioned quiet moments at home, curled up together on the couch, sharing stories and dreams as the world outside seemed to fade away. Would you have had more than one child by now?

But alongside those idyllic visions, doubts and uncertainties lingered. Would you have been content living in the shadow of Jake's career, sacrificing your own aspirations for the sake of his? Would you have felt fulfilled without the sense of purpose and accomplishment that came from your work?

As the water began to cool, you found yourself torn between the familiarity of the life you had built for yourself and the allure of the possibilities that might have been. But amidst the swirling currents of doubt and longing, one thing remained clear: whatever path you had chosen, Jake would always be an integral part of your life, a constant source of love and support, guiding you through the twists and turns of fate. You loved him and he loved you even without each other for four years.

You sighed as you thought about your husband's handsome face and your hand gently touched your stomach. Would this child be more like you, more like Jake or a mix of the both of you?

As the water began to cool, you found yourself torn between the familiarity of the life you had built for yourself and the allure of the possibilities that might have been. But amidst the swirling currents of doubt and longing, one thing remained clear: whatever path you had chosen, Jake would always be an integral part of your life, a constant source of love and support, guiding you through the twists and turns of fate.

After a while, Jake gently knocked on the bathroom door, his voice warm and reassuring. "Dinner's ready, darlin'. Whenever you're ready to come out. Just come to the bedroom."

"Okay," you replied softly as you reached for the drain, allowing the water to begin its slow descent.

Carefully, you stepped out of the bathtub, the cool air enveloping your skin as you grabbed a plush towel and began to dry yourself off, feeling the tension slowly dissipating with each gentle stroke.

The softness of the towel against your skin was soothing, and you relished the simple comfort it offered as you dried yourself off. With each stroke, you felt the tension of the day melting away, leaving behind a sense of calm and relaxation.

As you wrapped the towel around yourself and stepped out of the bathroom, you were greeted by the familiar warmth of your bedroom. The soft glow of lamplight cast a gentle ambiance, inviting you to unwind and let go of the stresses of the day.

You walked over to your dresser, selecting a pair of comfortable lounge pants and a tank top. Just as you were about to dress, Jake walked in, closing the door behind him. He paused, his gaze fixed on you, clad only in a towel.

Slowly, he approached you, his steps measured. Coming up from behind, he enveloped you in his arms, gently placing his hands on your swollen tummy, a gesture filled with tenderness and warmth.

He kissed the back of your neck, his breath warm against your skin. "You are so beautiful," he whispered softly.

You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to be enveloped by his touch. The towel slipped to the floor, forgotten, as Jake's hands gently cradled your swollen belly, the moment filled with tenderness and love.

You turned towards him, your eyes meeting briefly before your lips touched in a gentle, loving kiss.

The kiss was tender and reassuring, a moment of connection that reaffirmed the bond between you. As your lips parted, you felt a sense of calm and comfort wash over you, knowing that despite the challenges and uncertainties, you had each other to lean on.

Jake's hand gently cupped your cheek, his thumb softly caressing your skin. "I love you, Y/N," he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity and warmth.

"I love you too, Jake," you replied, your voice equally soft but firm with conviction.

He pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you in a protective embrace.

Tags: @buckysteveloki-me @bellyliveslife @tgmreader @callsign-barbell @86laura11 @dizzybee03 @kmc1989 @guacam011y @nerdgirljen @hookslove1592 @dempy @djs8891

[trulybetty]

october | 16 x flying kites

pairing: frankie x f!reader word count: 1,371 warnings: none, as always un-beta'd. summary: Frankie comes clean. ao3: linked

{ x. series masterlist }

author note: prompts are not in chronological order, the story is told throughout the life span of the relationship. once all are posted, I'll post a list of the prompts in chronological order.

16 x Flying Kites.

The early evening sun cast a golden hue over the ocean, the waves gently lapping at the shore. You stepped out onto the deck, a half-empty cup of coffee cooling in your hand. You scanned the horizon, inhaling the salty air. The house was quiet—too quiet—Frankie had been nowhere to be found.

Setting your coffee down, you walked through the yard to the fence that bordered the beach. Beyond it, you spotted him—a solitary figure sitting on the sand, his gaze fixed on the distant skyline where the sea met the sky. A soft breeze carried the distant laughter of children, and as you looked further down the beach, you saw them flying kites that danced against the clear sky. 

You made your way down the wooden steps, the sand cool beneath your feet. Frankie didn’t turn as you sat beside him, the two of you in a comfortable silence, the kind that had become rare lately. His eyes remained on the horizon. You tugged the sleeves of your sweater to cover your hands, and as you did you stole a glance at his profile. His jaw was tight, eyes shadowed beneath the brim of his worn baseball cap—the one you’d given him years ago.

“Looks like they’re having fun,” you remarked softly, nodding toward the children.

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice barely audible over the surf, “Reminds me of when I was a kid”

You waited, resisting the urge to fill the silence, to give him the space sensing he had more to say.

“My dad used to take me kite flying,” he continued, “We’d come out to places like this, just the two of us. Not a care in the world.”

You offered a small smile, he always spoke fondly of his father, “Sounds lovely.”

He took a deep breath, the weight of unspoken words heavy, “I haven’t been fair to you,” he admitted, his eyes still fixed on the ocean. 

You nodded slowly, a knot forming in your stomach. “Okay.”

He took a deep breath, still not looking at you. “Colombia wasn't just a consulting job,” he confessed, “at least it started off as one. But Santiago…” he trailed off as if he could hear your jaw tense at the sound of his friend's name, “he had this idea, make some money and do some right by the people being affected by the ones he was trying to bring down.” he continued when he realized you weren’t going to interrupt with your usual tirades when it came to Santiago.

You felt your chest tighten but remained silent, urging him to continue.

“Santiago had it planned,” he began, his words measured. “He’d found the source of issues—drugs, but local law enforcement was being paid off and the people were no better. Pope thought we could take out the head of the snake and... take his money. Make it a better place and secure our futures.”

You swallowed hard, you weren't naive. You knew the kinds of missions Delta Force undertook and had pieced together bits about Santiago's activities in Colombia. But hearing it confirmed was different—especially from Frankie.

“It was supposed to be quick and clean,” he continued. “In and out. No one was supposed to get hurt.”

He paused, his hands clenching into fists in the sand. “But things didn't go as planned. We... we took more than we should have. The helicopter couldn't handle the weight, I said I could do it.”

Your eyes drifted to his hands, knuckles white. The distant sound of children laughing seemed jarringly out of place.

“We crashed,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “Then we were followed, that’s when Tom—” he paused as if debating to lay out the whole truth, “that’s when we lost Tom.” you didn’t need to know more to be able to piece it together. 

A sharp intake of breath caught in your throat at the idea of how easily it could have been Frankie. You blinked rapidly, trying to process the information. Frankie finally turned to look at you, his eyes glassy. “We tried to get the money out on foot, over the mountains,” he let out a bitter laugh, “but we lost most of it, barely made it out alive. And for what? Greed? Stupidity?” 

You opened your mouth, but no words came out. The air felt thick and heavy with unspoken emotions. You reached out instinctively, your hand hovering above his before settling back in your lap. You were frozen, the reality of his words sinking in. The man beside you was both familiar and suddenly a stranger, burdened by secrets and guilt.

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner,” he whispered. “I didn't know how.”

You took a shaky breath, finally finding your voice. “Why now?”

He sighed deeply. “I thought… maybe if I kept to myself, I could protect you from it, but all I’ve done is fuck things up further.”

“Are we safe?” you said, suddenly panicked.

Frankie nodded his head, “There’s nothing tying us there. We took care of that.” 

You looked out at the horizon, where the sun was beginning its descent, casting hues of pink and orange across the sky. “I knew Santiago was involved in dangerous things,” you said softly. “I’ve always known you’ve done things you couldn't talk about. But I never imagined…”

Your words trailed off, swallowed by the sound of the waves. Frankie removed his cap, running a hand through his hair, you wondered when you’d failed to notice how much longer it’d gotten. 

“If you want me to leave…” he began.

You shook your head slowly, finally turning to meet his gaze. “No. I just... I don’t know, I need time to process this.”

He nodded, a flicker of relief crossing his features. “I understand.”

Silence settled between you once more, but it was different now—heavy with a shared burden. The children down the beach cheered as one of the kites soared higher, its vibrant tail fluttering triumphantly. The simple joy of it was almost surreal against the gravity of your conversation.

“I always imagined bringing our own kids here someday,” he admitted quietly.

You felt a void in your chest, your mind playing a movie of the life that you’d pictured here fading away as another silence fell between you. 

“No more reccies,” your voice was quiet, but your words were firm.

He looked up at you, the weight of your words settling between you, a line drawn in the sand, “No more reccies.” he echoed. 

You stood up slowly, brushing the sand from your clothes. “I’m going inside,” you said with a finality that left no room for argument.

He looked up at you, a mixture of resignation and sadness etched across his face, “Okay.” he replied, his voice barely audible over the sound of the waves.

Turning away, you made your way back toward the house, each step feeling heavier than the last. You needed space—time to process everything he’d just told you. You felt nauseous at the revelation of what had gone down in Colombia. This was so much more than any of the other jobs he’d taken on in the past. This wasn’t something that could be fixed with a simple conversation or a promise. 

Inside, the quiet of the house enveloped you. You leaned against the closed door, taking a deep breath as you tried to steady your racing thoughts. The familiar surroundings felt strangely foreign, shadows from the setting sun stretching across the floor.

You walked to the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of water with unsteady hands. The cool liquid did little to ease the rising lump in your throat. Setting the glass down, you caught sight of a photo on the fridge—a candid of you and Frankie laughing, arms wrapped around each other.

For a brief moment you wanted to go back to that moment, to the Frankie and you of then. But it didn’t silence the voice inside your head, the one that told you that there were issues there too, smaller ones that laid the foundation for where you were now, and now, well you weren’t sure you could brush it aside as well as you had before.

[ember-knights]

hey thanks for posting about palestine and spreading info.

I wanted to ask about the post you made about "the reigning zionist supreme" that doubled down on his stance hours after ahli hospital massacre on this site,

I didn't get who you were talking about but you had neil gaiman in the tags so I scrolled through his blog until almost the start of the month which if my memory serves me right is before the al ahli hospital massacre, and I couldn't find anything like you said.

if you could please show us what he said in screenshots that would be great.

just saw this ask, because tumblr sucks, and i wanted to find the original post for you but .. guess what? tumblr sucks.

Anyway, here is a link to the post about this with the screenshots.

(and that is the ask answered on Oct 17th, same day of al ahi Hospital Massacre) To summarize the above lined post, on the same day of al ahli/ al mamadani hospital massacre, le great writer himself confirmed his 2015 statement that "israel has the right to exist" which is as we all know now is just Zionist rhetoric. Israel Does Not In Fact Have the right to steal palestinian land, bring in settlers from all over the globe while killing, torturing, raping, kidnapping, displacing, starving, and bombing Palestinians. "Israel" as an entity requires the oppression of Palestinians to maintain its ethnostate. Therefore, no it never has and it never will have the right to exist. Ergo, what he said is Zionism 101. I personally was unaware that one of my favorite writers holds that view because i don't do social media, and i don't make a habit of following people. Besides i liked terry better anyway. And even if we ignore all 75+ years of oppression as proof enough for neilman, one has to wonder why hasn't he changed his statement since then? Answer is he won't. His statement was "neutral" in times of debate to silence those unaware of what is happening or unable to recognize Zionist propaganda. And when the world is now screaming and there is no way to NOT TO BE AWARE, he himself remains silent. Anyone like him deserves to have his name dragged in the mud.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Far More Than My Love - Diluc

Author's Notes: I wrote this fic while listening to Dolly Parton's song "Don't Call it Love." (I recommend you try it, it's a really sweet song!) In initially it was going to be a fic for Twisted Wonderland's Azul Ashengrotto, but I just couldn't get it going so I spun the wheel of fortune and wrote it for Diluc instead. This fic has actually just been sitting a google document gathering dust for a while now, but I didn't know what to post today so it's finally getting to debut. Which reminds me, this is first Diluc fic I'll be posting which is both exciting and nerve-wracking since I've read a lot of good ficlets for him on here already. Reader is gender neutral as per usual. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Fluff/mild angst (kinda?)

Word count: 817

I sat, hand lazily intertwined with his and leaning against his side as we both gazed at the crackling fire in his hearth. 

No one could have predicted that so much snow would start falling quite so suddenly. If they had, I wouldn’t have come to the Dawn Winery for dinner no matter how much I’d wanted to see Diluc or looked forward to Adelinde’s cooking.

But I couldn’t say I regretted anything as I sat curled up by his side in an oddly domestic scene. It was almost enough to be embarrassing…. But then I felt too at peace to get flustered.

His thumb casually swiped across the side of my hand, rubbing in an almost rhythmic manner that was oddly relaxing. I glanced over to see him staring towards the dancing flames, their golden light reflected in his ruby-colored eyes. 

He was thinking about something. What exactly, was hard to say, but his thoughtful gaze was easily enough to make me curious. I tilted my head so I could better observe him, debating whether I should question his pondering expression or not.

Glancing down, he met my gaze, but his thoughtful, if perhaps concerned, expression remained, “If you were asked…. What would you say I felt for you?”

His question caught me off guard, but it did answer some of the questions I’d had. His invitation to dinner had been… sudden.

It wasn’t odd for Diluc to invite me over for dinner. He was, after all, quite affectionate. What was strange was that he’d done so in front of everyone over at Angel’s Share. Usually his invitations were more private, only being offered when it was just the two of us or even via letter. The fact he’d done so in front of so many people had struck me as odd. That, paired with the question he’d just asked, made me wonder if someone had said something.

Because despite being Mondstadt’s vigilante hero and uncrowned king, Diluc could be quite insecure sometimes. He seemed to have difficulty believing that I was happy being with him and loved him.

I had never once doubted his affections for me and I couldn’t be happier. But Diluc often seemed to question whether he was good enough for me. And that was sad, because no man could ever make me feel as loved or happy as he had done and would no doubt continue to do.

 I frowned slightly, at both his question and my thoughts before shaking my head and offering him a reassuring smile, “That would be rather hard for me to answer. After all, I don’t know your thoughts or feelings at any given moment. But if I were asked, I would tell them that you loved me.”

He nodded, but didn’t seem entirely reassured. In fact, he turned to look back towards the flames with an even more pensive expression than before. 

I frowned once more at my failed attempts to reassure him and found myself nudging him, determined to both improve his mood and change his thought processes.

He looked down as soon as nudged him with my shoulder, an expectant expression on face that made me smile, “If they asked you how I felt for you what would you say?”

He blinked in silent surprise as I echoed his question back at him. But then a slight smile appeared on his face, “I would say you loved me far more than I deserved.”

I shoved at him, half-playful and half-annoyed, “Don’t say that! You deserve every bit of love I give you and possibly more! Especially what with all you do for me and everyone here.”

He shook his head and opened his mouth, undoubtedly about to say something about how that wasn’t true, but I cut him off with a new question, “Well then, what would you say if someone asked you how you felt about me?”

He stopped, his gaze holding mine as a slow smile curved across his face. It was one of those moments where an impossible amount of affection glittered deep within his eyes. One of those moments where I didn’t see how anyone, including Diluc himself, could ever question his love for me or the fact that I loved him. Because how could I help but love such a man?

He twisted, carefully taking my hand in his, “I would tell them that you are far more than my love. Love could never encompass all of what I feel for you.” 

I’d been fully prepared to tease him, but all such intentions had disappeared as soon as he began to speak. That gentle look in those red eyes that so many viewed as too intense, but I had long viewed as the greatest comfort in the world.

“If someone were to ask me how I felt for you I would tell them that you are my everything.”

[arwenlalaith]

Between the Blues and the Pinks (Ch. 12)

Ship: Alex Blake/Emily Prentiss

Summary: The Baby Blues: The temporary feelings of sadness following having a baby. Also known as Postpartum Depression. The Baby Pinks: The mild mania experienced following having a baby. Also known as Postpartum Euphoria.

Warnings: Mental health issues, postpartum mood disorders.

Word Count: 1063

"Thank you for being flexible and meeting me here," Emily said with a polite smile as the other woman took a seat across from her in the coffee shop. Between taking care of Lindy and shuttling Alex between appointments, Emily had been struggling to carve out time in her schedule to interview potential nannies. She'd finally found a few spare minutes while Alex was seeing her OB/GYN and the only candidate who'd been able to make the last minute interview was, fortunately, the candidate Emily was most hopeful about.

The woman waved away her apologies with a good-natured smile. "Believe me, I understand how difficult the first few months can be," she said.

Emily couldn't help but laugh a little because difficult may have been the understatement of the century... Rather than get into that can of worms, though, she turned her attention to the woman's resume. "So, Jennifer, why did you leave your last job?"

"First of all, call me JJ," she said. "And in the interest of complete transparency, I left my last position because I had a miscarriage and I needed some time to work through the emotional fallout. It worked out okay because the boy I was caring for was going into first grade that fall, so the need for constant help wasn't as prevalent."

Emily felt her heart go out to the other woman. "I'm sorry," she murmured, reaching across the table to rest a hand on top of hers.

JJ's smile was soft and appreciative. "But I want you to rest assured that I've been through counselling and I'm fully capable and prepared to give your daughter the care and attention she needs," she insisted. "And I'm still on excellent terms with the family and they've assured me they'll give me a glowing recommendation. You're more than welcome to call them."

She nodded slowly, thoughtfully, but remained silent for several long moments.

JJ must've mistaken her silence for doubt because she was quick to try and keep the interview going. "Your ad said your situation was a little unconventional?" she prompted. She smiled reassuringly, trying to convey that she wasn't about to judge or condemn. In her years working as a nanny, she'd encountered just about every kind of family situation imaginable, so it was extremely hard to shock her.

"Yeah, umm..." Emily paused, tongue flicking out over her lip as she debated how best to explain things. She'd purposely left the job posting rather sparse on details, not wanting to air too much of their dirty laundry for all to see. But something about JJ made her feel like she could trust her... "My wife is struggling with some postpartum mood concerns," she explained, remaining vague even now. "I'm getting her the help she needs, but it requires a significant amount of time and effort and I didn't want either her or Lindy to suffer for my being spread too thin, which is why we're looking for a nanny." A beat. "Well, I haven't actually told my wife yet, but that's neither here nor there."

Several long moments of silence followed.

Immediately, Emily was giving her an out, "I'd completely understand if, knowing that, you'd like to withdraw your application."

Anything further she might've said on the subject was cut off by Lindy waking up and squalling. Emily moved to tend to her cries, but JJ was quick to interrupt the movement with a gentle, "Let me."

Emily watched, stunned, as JJ was able to soothe Lindy's cries with practiced ease – as if she'd been looking after her since birth. "Wow..." she said on an exhale. She was Lindy's mother and she couldn't even soothe her quite so easily. "You're a miracle worker."

JJ just laughed, shook her head. "Years of practice," she said modestly.

Emily laughed as well, though hers was borne more of relief than any actual amusement. "How soon can you start?"

________

Alex had initially been, shall we say, rather irate about Emily's decision to hire a nanny for Lindy. Irate, in this case, meaning she'd said flown into a rage and said horrible hurtful things to her wife. Emily had done her best not to take them to heart, knowing that Alex never would have said them if she were in her right mind...but it was hard because Alex knew exactly how to push her buttons.

Once Alex had had some time to warm to the idea, though, and after actually meeting JJ and seeing how wonderful she was with Lindy, she seemed to begrudgingly accept the situation. (That didn't mean she couldn't hold a grudge against Emily, though...of course, that may have just been because Emily continued watching her like a hawk in spite of the many many times she'd insisted she was fine.)

Their definitions of fine, however, seemed to be drastically different.

Alex's version of fine seemed to mean gradually slipping into a depressive episode. She spent more and more time in bed and less time doing the things she used to love. Emily could see the light fading from her eyes little by little, though she knew it was still inside her somewhere...

Alex also remained convinced that someone or something was out to get Lindy and continued to be hyper-vigilant over her. She refused to allow formula to remain in the house and, as such, spent as much time as humanly possible pumping breastmilk.

(When Emily had asked her why she didn't just breastfeed – seeing as she'd been extremely insistent before the birth that she wanted to breastfeed as much as possible – she'd been unable to articulate a reason. Unable or, perhaps, unwilling...)

It wasn't just the breastfeeding, though...it was also that Alex seemed reticent to so much as hold Lindy where she'd previously been reluctant to set her down for even a second. It seemed to Emily that JJ's presence had created a vacuum wherein Alex either felt unneeded or unwanted as Lindy's parent.

She'd tried bringing it up on more than one occasion, but was only ever met with unyielding refusal to talk about it.

[88y53]

Maybe I just don't like Zack Snyder movies?

So I'm pretty far into Rebel Moon, and, at the moment, it has failed to really wow me with anything it has to offer.

Is it just me? Am I the problem here?

It's not like I wasn't giving this movie a chance–I was very excited to see a film he had complete and total creative control over... that wasn't Army of the Dead.

I understand that Zack Snyder movies have a lot of themes and metatextual messages. I know this mainly because he very openly talks about it, like a comedian explaining a joke when the audience remains silent after the punchline. And if that fails, he has a veritable army of people–most of whom I'm fairly certain are not astroturf accounts–who will sing from the highest rooftops that yes, indeed, this thing means a thing.

How clever.

This is an issue that I've been noticing with every single one of his movies post 300; they're all saying something meaningful, but in a way that makes it totally meaningless.

300 was a lot like that (to the point that people as still debating whether it can be interpreted as propaganda or not), but it had this raw, over-the-top machismo that gave it a crucial campy edge that made it seem like it was more self-aware than it probably was intended to be.

Pretty much every movie after that–this one included–is trying so hard to be multi-layered that it handicaps itself, turning everything into thematic white noise.

To it's credit, this film does have a surface-level story–The Seven Samurai with the cast of Star Wars–but it's completely smothered under the weight of the subtext. Can this even be called subtext? Having a long horizontal spaceship come out of wormhole in the shape of a vagina doesn't exactly scream "subtle" to me. Maybe we should make up a new term for this–what's the opposite of subtext that isn't just text? Astrotext? Supertext?

I know that Netflix has dreams of this becoming a lucrative franchise, and to that I say three things: "Good. Fucking. Luck."

It's not awful, it's just... not very interesting. There are these flash-in-the-pan moments that work and seriously threaten keep my attention, but they don't gel together into anything that keeps the crucial flow going.

And every character expressing themselves in these awkward, lengthy exposition-dumps also doesn't help. Maybe it's trying to keep within the style of Akira Kurosawa–I wouldn't know, I've never seen The Seven Samurai, and I most likely never will.

Rebel Moon, like most of Snyder's filmography–is either going to really fucking speak to you, or completely leave you cold; it'll all depend on whether you personally relate to the characters or world he's building like an over-excited dungeon master who spent 4 whole days hyper-focusing on this project and just wants one person to say they liked it to make it seem like all the effort was worth it.

"Bitch, we're here to fucking role-play! Not be your fantasy sounding-board!"

The movie didn't start out well for me either. We get a lengthy backstory narrated by Sir Anthony Hopkins (who seems to be willing to be in any movie, these days), and then it shifts to a woman plowing a field with an alien horse before having to dig a large rock out of the ground. And that was precisely the moment where the film lost me: I just couldn't believe that this girl would need to dig that rock out of clearly loose and freshly turned earth.

This is an an edited version, so maybe the director's cut is better. And on that subject I have to ask "did we learn nothing from Batman v Superman or Justice League?" You either let Zack Snyder make the movie exactly how he wants to make it or you get a shit movie. I mean you'd probably still get a shit movie, but at least it would have integrity.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad if the film didn't have this subtle off-putting feeling of indulgence that permeates every single fucking frame. I understand you're making the movie you want to make, Mr. Snyder, but if this movie were to be even 1% more self-gratifying there would've been a 40-foot statue of your dick that pisses fire while Rock Me Like A Hurricane plays in the background and F-16s do barrel-rolls overhead.

Maybe 300 was just the one good movie he had in him? It happens. One day you're directing The Sixth Sense, next you're directing The Lady In Water.

According to a recent post in his safespace blog he's sworn off making movies for the "main stream," which is for the best, I suppose. The mainstream has not been particularly kind to him.

I'm certainly not wishing he'd stop making movies–you make all the weird films you possibly got in you, you mad bastard, but I think you're done surprising me.

And, in case you're wondering, no, I probably wouldn't say all of this to his face.

[ducknotinarow]

[Metronome Boys uwu]

Now that Rhodes had calmed down after the, casual, revelation that both Charlie, and Buddy, casually touched themselves to thoughts of each other, the Rooster couldn't help but asked what he thought was a fair question.

"Why were you so freaked out about it...?" Charlie asked, "I mean...it's pretty natural, even more for Roosters..."

"Yeah Rhodes," Buddy spoke up, eyes always on the screen as they easily stayed in first place, "Roosters are like one of the horniest birds out there; kind of a miracle Charlie doesn't do it more often."

"Depends on my mood," Charlie shrugged, "Seriously though, was it because it's me that admitted to it, or just...an in general surprise?"

They kept playing, Charlie and Buddy taking Rhodes explanation in. The two silently decided that they were going to tease Rhodes about this for a good while.

"...Soooo...do you?" Buddy asks, glancing Rhodes way, "Yanno, jerk it while thinking of us? C'mon we were honest with you, only fair your honest with us~"

| Muse Interaction [in reference to these posts 1, 2,]

Rhodes watched as Buddy went and selected Yoshi and Charlie went and picked out princess peach. he debated for a moment and went with Link this time alone. Buddy running the game went and set up the race tracks they were going to do. Not that Rhodes cared much for which one they did, he played the game enough to know the short cuts and when best to make use of jumps and wheelies in the game. He just wanted to beat Buddy who like always had a good lead for their game night. But Rhodes was having an off day even losing against Charlie. Buddy he can sometimes accept since they were always plugged in to a game after all so it just made more sense to lose against him. Charlie was more of a sore spot in all truth. So Rhodes being well Rhodes thought the best way to get an edge here would be to play some physiological trickery. That instantly back fired on him.

Worst part? It didn't even help him win, if anything it helped the other two with their own wins. Rhodes set his controller to his lap before letting his head rest back against the bed. "Man I have failed my boy today!" Rhodes complained to himself as they let the the Mario kart session finally come to an end. Rhodes in the middle of mourning his loss at the time was really only take out of his dramatics by Charlie suddenly speaking up about the topic that had come up.

"Why were you so freaked out about it...?"

Rhodes tilted his head up slightly so he could better look at Charlie, even when sitting on the floor the guy was a giant and still required needing to look up just to meet their eyes. "huh?" Was all the pigeon could offer in response having slightly forgotten what happened before they went back into their gaming session. Hard to say why it was still on his mind maybe part of him just wasn't trying to talk about it? The image of being the cool one laid back and hardly phased tended to be everything to the pigeon after all. Even if he often broke that illusion about his boyfriends.

"I mean...it's pretty natural, even more for Roosters..."

"This is natural for Roosters?" Was Rhodes response he had a hard time believing that, and he couldn't see it as some sort of flex on beating Rhodes. Even the rare times he beat Buddy they never egged it on.

"Yeah Rhodes,"

Rhodes now turned his head to the other side, Buddy's own attention had remained on the screen. As the next course was starting on the count down. Rhodes had basically gave up at this point even if he took the first place finish it's wouldn't do anything for his over all score in the end. Even the NPCs were ahead of him. Forgive him Link it seems you will not be the hero of this race.

"Roosters are like one of the horniest birds out there; kind of a miracle Charlie doesn't do it more often."

"what?" Rhodes said only bow catching on he had kind of forgotten already trying to focus more on his game over anything else going on.

"Depends on my mood,"

"Oh that." Rhodes said under his breath as they wete back to the charater selections he was toggling between who to pick. Link was his usual go to. But Bowser or dry Bowser had been sitting on the shelf for him lately maybe he'll switch it up? Go for thier heaviness over Links sleek?

"Seriously though, was it because it's me that admitted to it, or just...an in general surprise?"

Rhides chewed over his thoughts for a moment “Yeah” he began with he knows they will tease over his reaction no matter what he say anyway better to get it over with and deal with that for likely ever guess he can’t blame them they seemed to love anytime he broke out from the chilled out persona he held most the time. “If Imma be honest here with you both I was more surprised you did it at all cause well no offense look at you both of you really. I just sort of thought neither of you hade that vibe to you. Though I guess Buddy makes more sense now that I’m really thinking on it.” He ponders as he finally picks Link once again needed to redeem them he decided. “You though?” Looking back to wards Charlie “Kind of thought you let under the ace spectrum despite being a rooster and all.” Rhodes expressed. “So yeah you caught me off guard with the fact you do in general, not so much to me I mean I’m a catch clearly” Rhodes said flattering himself. “Mostly just how openly you said it used to you being all shy and quite about..well anything really.” Rhodes expressed finally as he focused on the build of his kart a bit better this time around.

"...Soooo...do you?"

Rhodes' arched his brow before looking towards Buddy, guess answering the one questions wasn't going to be the end of this.

"Yanno, jerk it while thinking of us? C'mon we were honest with you, only fair your honest with us~"

Yeah definitely not the end of this conversation. He dose smirk a bit at Buddy's choice of phasing though.

"Well yeah course I do" He confesses stealing Buddy's controller sl he could pick the circuit, he wanted to play one the most. Hey if he was getting grilled here he should least get that much he decided. "I mean you two may not see it but your both my type. Smiles, your pretty as all hell with the eyeliner and without it. You got an amazing coloring to your feathers and your eyes always fascinate me." Hey of he's gotta answer might as well, well answer fully. "And you big daddy C" he smirks over to Charile knowing at least that would give the reaction he wanted before. Handing Buddy's controller back once he made his selection. "Your excatly what people mean by more than the whole meal your the whole ass buffet. In other words your hot." Rhodes stated as he looked back to the screen at the race was starting up now.

"But unlike you two I got that experience so yeah course I didnt think much on you doing it me? Nah that was obvious."

[chosonore]

ephemeral

ephemeral [adjective. something that lasts for a very short time]

pairing: scaramouche/reader

summary: after years of radio silence, scaramouche returned to you, no longer the mellow and friendly person that you’d taken in and grown to love. it was hard for you to trust him again but here he was, promising you the future that you wanted. all the wanted was to protect you and so he kept his word.

wordcount: 5.8k

content/warnings: major character death, suggestive content, 2.1 spoilers so please do not read ahead if you haven’t played the archon quest + also aren’t familiar with the sus leaks about his future [UNEDITED]

a/n: i don’t know, this idea kinda popped up in my head and it all accumulated into this piece. i am very sorry. this is my first time writing for genshin like ever and i debated for a very long time whether i should even post this. not sure if i’ll write more for genshin but i love scaramouche a lot and i can’t wait for him to be playable. anyways, i hope you enjoy and sorry againfajefgazfe

"do you not want me?" he breathed against your neck, arms tightening around your waist ever so slightly. you remained silent, staring at the wall in front of you as you refused to acknowledge the male behind you. perhaps it was your pride that prevented you from answering, letting him know what he probably already suspected. or it was the deeply ingrained hurt that ran through your soul, having planted its roots in the depths of your heart. you couldn't answer, couldn't tell him that you wanted him. every fiber of your body yearned for his warmth, his touch and soul. but the person you were currently with, it wasn't him. so much had changed since he had joined the ranks of the fatui harbingers, so much so that you didn't recognize the person that he became. 

his touch felt foreign, chilling you to the bones as rough, cold fingertips skidded over your skin. though his question was innocent in nature, you could hear the venom that was lacing his voice. an underlying threat that told you he would to and take as he wished. could he really be the curious stranger that you'd welcomed in your home all those years ago? the person that yearned to learn about human nature, about the funny feelings that you'd evoked in him. "i came back just for you," he added in a whisper, pressing his lips against your neck. goosebumps spread across your skin, you hated the reactions that he could still elicit from you and so effortlessly at that. your mind raced, a whirlwind of longing and recoiling, wreaking havoc.

"i've missed you," his voice grew quiet, so indiscernible that you'd almost mistaken it for the wind that was hissing outside. though it was quiet, the shakiness was still noticeable to you. as if he was scared to let you know, to show you the vulnerability beneath the layers of his brazen and brash persona. 

"why did you leave me?" you questioned, though you were scared of his answer. had he never loved you? was this all a farce because he needed someone to warm his bed? back then, you were proud of his progress, believing that he was slowly growing to learn what it meant to love someone, to care for them and be kind to others. all that despite his disdain and ill feelings towards the raiden shogun, the person that created and tossed him aside, leaving him to his own devices as he roamed the wilderness of inazuma. the contrast to his self now was jarring, witnessing how he tore through the mobs of enemies without so much as batting an eyelid - it scared you to the core. he disregarded the consequences of his actions, merely scoffing at the incapability of his opponents and underlings. 

shuffling behind you, he pulled himself up until hovering over you. automatically, you squeezed your eyes shut, not wanting to look into his eyes. it would undoubtedly make you cry because of all of his being, his eyes were the most honest. like a lake mirroring the glittering night sky, his innermost and hidden feelings reflected from his eyes. you were scared of knowing the truth, scared to hear him say that he didn't want you anymore or got bored of the life that you'd led, that he found something better. that his intentions had never been to be with you and that you'd merely been another step towards the top for him.

your breath hitched as you felt his fan across the expanse of your neck and face. scaramouche was close and yet holding back, inner turmoil preventing him from going through with his actions like he normally would. it was true, he grew to be ruthless and uncaring of consequences - but you were the exception, one that made him stop in his tracks. fingers curled against the sheets, fisting them in his hands as he willed himself to calm the raging tide in his mind. soft lips pressed against the corner of your lips, hesitant and searching, waiting for you to reciprocate. it was a testament of his unwavering feelings for you, feelings that motivated his rash decision to take you to the lion's den.

scaramouche had been pleased to find that you still lived in the same house that you'd inherited from your parents, still tending to herbs and plants that you sold to merchants and pharmacists alike. the very place that you let him live in, sheltered from the stormy inazuman climate. seeing you, still glowing and beautiful as ever as you talked to your customers, an all too familiar ache welled up in his chest. with the gnosis in his hands, he got what he wanted; the last missing puzzle piece was you. even years apart from each other, different attire and attitude, you recognized your former lover as he approached you. something about him had changed, you were able to tell immediately. the sardonic smile didn't quite match the emotions in his eyes as scaramouche let you know that he came to take what was his.

the tone in his voice was, though friendly and warm, commanding and didn't leave room for negotiations. despite the threat in his voice, you stood up to him, demanding to know who he thought he was, to come back after all these years and causing such a ruckus. you weren't a couple anymore, not acquaintances but merely strangers at this point. with a haughty grin, scaramouche declared that he was number six of the fatui harbingers, dubbed the balladeer. horror spread across the faces of your customers as they scrambled to leave your estate. even you couldn't hide the shock as you now knew of his whereabouts. he had left you, only to join the harbingers. he must've acquired great strength, far greater than you could imagine, greater than it already was as you first met him. he was the raiden shogun's creation after all, made to be able to wield her power.

as a visionless person, you stood no chance. to protect your neighbours and the innocent passersby, you agreed to come with him. the aura surrounding him was suffocating you, pulling you into the abyss of your own thoughts and long forgotten doubts. scaramouche was dangerous, traces of his former mellow self long gone. his hand was rough against yours, forceful as he tugged you along with him, inside the safety of your house. why did he come back for you when he had left you in the first place?

"i came back for you, didn't i? does it matter?" scaramouche questioned with a low voice, he was dodging the issue. another kiss was pressed against your jaw. 

"you left me," your voice was choked up, quivering with overquelling sadness as you pushed at his shoulders. "i don't- i don't understand why you came back, why you took me with you. why did you leave? did you not love me at all?" 

scaramouche let out an irritated noise, head slumping against the crook of your neck. "you didn't answer my previous question."

"and you didn't answer mine," you retorted, frustrated at how he couldn't be honest with you. you were nothing but a prisoner now, an answer to your sorrows was the least you deserved. 

abruptly, he moved back up, hovering over you as he grabbed your hands. his skin felt scorching hot against yours, it matched his fiery gaze. he hissed at you, demanding you look at him. it was overwhelming, facing him like this, in such a vulnerable state. you were at his mercy, should he decide to lash out at you, there was nothing you could do. a myriad of emotions was swirling in his eyes, deep and dark like the bottom of a well that was gleaming with mystery. they were filled with determination, as if wanting to sear his answer into your soul, lest you never forget what he was going to tell you. nimble fingers intertwined with yours, so oddly intimate and gentle that you almost forgot about the predicament that you were in. if you only leaned up a little more, you could embrace him, kiss him like you had before. forget about the hurt that he had caused you.

“i left so that i could protect you,” he confessed behind gritted teeth, the words hardly wanting to leave his lips as if he vowed to never speak them out loud. “couldn’t be more useless than i already was as a puppet, could i?” a humourless laugh resounded from him. “discarded to the side, all strength sealed so that i could never use it. what use did i have? i was pathetic, a mere experiment that was faulty, one that ei could never control. what use would it have if i couldn’t use the power to protect what is dear to me? i wanted to learn how to wield it so that i could proudly stand by your side and protect you.”

bitterness laced his voice as he recounted his reasonings, eyebrows furrowed in irritation. “tell me, wouldn’t i be even more pathetic if i had the power but couldn’t protect someone i love? you gave some meaning to my existence, to my very being and i wanted to honour that. can you really fault me for that?”

hearing him refer to you as someone he loved, it made your heart flutter. he still loved you, even after all this time. his motivation behind his actions could hardly be faulted. love was a funny thing, it made people do things out of their comfort zone, that they would otherwise never engage in. though his intentions were pure and noble, you couldn’t endorse the crimes he must have committed in the name of tsaritsa and the fatui, just to climb up the ranks among the harbingers. you were conflicted. should you give in and embrace the male in front of you? the one that you still, undoubtedly, loved and cherished? should you hold onto the feelings of hurt and resentment that you harboured for he had never once considered your feelings in this?

even after several moments of silence, you couldn’t answer him. the tug of war in your heart made it difficult to drown out unreasonable thoughts, to sift through reasonable ones until your answer crystallized in front of you. could the past ever be forgotten if you admitted that you still wanted him? you couldn’t imagine how to proceed, you didn’t want to associate with him for as long as he still remained with the harbingers. 

your silence made scaramouche feel restless, his throat constricting as he waited. his patience was dwindling, rapidly being replaced by the cold persona that he had taken on while he had been with the harbingers. though he did not wish to force the answer out of you like he would with enemies, he couldn’t wait any longer either. his breathing grew shallow as he wagered the possibility that you no longer reciprocated his feelings, that he was too late. panicked, he looked for any telltale signs in your eyes, he couldn’t face another rejection, another person discarding him as if he was a mere plaything that they grew bored of. the feeling was jarring, still deep seated in the core of his being. only you had shown him warmth and comfort, only you had loved him so dearly.

“say something,” he croaked, voice shaky and trembling as he grappled with himself. “do you not want me? i- i love you. i didn’t want to stay weak as i was, i wanted to be someone you could be proud of. i want to be with you, i want to come back to you-”

his vulnerability surprised you, seldom did he show this side to you. though he had been mild mannered and mellow when you first met him, there was an underlying authority in the way he carried himself, a silent strength that didn’t show any cracks or gaps in its facade. his breath had grown ragged, panic now evident on his face as he stared at you with wide eyes. beneath the layers of pretense, you could see him. the person that you knew he was, that you gotten to know through the expanse of your relationship. you cupped his face in your hands, snapping him out of his spiral of thoughts until his attention was finally on you.

“kunikuzushi,” you whispered, observing as shudders ran through his body. scaramouche had almost forgotten his name, his actual name. no one had called him that in a long time, only you and ei had known of its existence. it felt good hearing it. it made him feel like part of himself was reignited, slowly coming back to life and melting the ice around his heart. ever so gently, he leaned against your hand. “i understand, i really do. but i don’t think i can be with you, the fatui… they’re not good people, no one that i want to associate myself with and i’m disappointed to find that you even colluded with them-”

“this is my last mission,” he cut you off hastily. “i have one last thing i have to do here before i return to you. then i will leave them, that was my goal.”

“you don’t understand. even if i wanted to be with you, i can’t condone what you’ve done or will continue to do to people. all to accomplish the tsaritsa’s goal? what about yours?”

“they’re small fish in the sea, mere sacrifices for my own goal,” scaramouche scoffed, pulling away from you. obviously, you didn’t understand, how would you? couldn’t you see that sacrifices have to be made in order to get to a goal? how foolish of you, no one was purely good in this world. it was a give and take and only the strongest would survive. it was the only solution he had seen, the fatui had been so willing to unlock his power and help him acquire the strength that he sought for. there was one last puzzle piece that he wanted, one last that would let him rest easy, knowing that he then had enough power, even against the archons.

“i will make you see, i will prove myself to you. i’m still… your kunikuzushi. i’m still yours. but i need to know, i need to hear from you. do you still love me?”

the walls around your heart broke at an instant at the innocent question, swallowed up by the unstoppable tsunami that was your yearning for him. no one could replace him, he was your first love, forever having a special place in your heart. never had you looked at anybody else, too caught up in being his. perhaps your subconscious had never stopped hoping, always wishing that he would come back to you. and so he did, not in the way you had expected him to, but he was here. with you. one last time you could indulge, now that you knew that you couldn’t be with him any longer.

“i do, but i-”

hearing those two words was all he needed - scaramouche leaned in, pressing his lips against yours in a heated kiss. he couldn’t hold back any longer, wanting to be close to you again. oh how he had missed you, the unmistakable feeling of euphoria that you evoked in him. you loved him and that was all he needed to hear, everything else he could figure out later. as he marked up your neck, your fingers tangled in his dark hair, tugging gently at the onslaught of pleasure. the whimpers and moans that left your lips were music to his ears, he grew greedy, wanting to draw more out of you to compensate for all the time that he was gone. he would make you sing for him, reminding you that you were his and his only and he was yours. scaramouche didn’t care that you were still wavering, still hesitating - he would prove himself to you, one way or another.

"i've missed you, so much," he gasped against your neck, impatiently tugging your kimono apart to reveal the expanse of your skin. squeezing your hands, he pressed his body against you, capturing your lips in yet another longing kiss. you whimpered against his lips, another needy noise slipping from your throat. it filled him with delight, each sound shooting straight to his groin. "did you feel the same? was every day away from each other a torture for you as well?" of course you did.

scaramouche's fingers wandered, curiously so, across your skin and pushed at more fabric, revealing more of yourself to him. you could see the focused look in his eyes, as if he was trying to familiarize himself with you again, to memorize you. lips danced across your chest, following their pursuit further down. "i miss your touch, being close to you. being able to hold you and just be with you. every fiber of my being yearns to be with you. i love you, so much."

true to his word, scaramouche had disappeared the following day, only to come back the week after. he returned with flowers, your favourite flowers you noted, and helped you with your garden. neither of you spoke a word about his work in inazuma, nor did you bring up your previous conversation. you were wary of him despite him acting like he did before vanishing but you couldn’t help but soften up with time. inazuma had grown to be an uncomfortable and sad country, riddled with sorrow and anger towards the vision hunt decree. but his presence somehow comforted you and brought warmth into your home. his visits were infrequent and sporadic, he came at any time of the day. there were times that he came with flowers or a basket of fruits and vegetables, other times you only took notice of him as your bed creaked underneath his weight when he slipped in next to you. it was an odd and yet natural routine.

rumours had it that a mysterious figure, a certain traveler was stirring up the scenes in inazuma. though you had never come in contact with them, your customers had told you that they had traversed through the small village you lived in. they caused ruckus in the already turbulent inazuma, with the sole goal to get rid of the vision decree. while you agreed with their ideologies, you were also worried about the consequences. there was a significant increase in injured and distraught persons, demanding more of your medicine and expertise, which you gladly provided. the only hope you had was for it to end soon, for inazuma to become a land of peace and tranquility. but scaramouche's presence in inazuma could only mean one thing: the fatui had their fingers in this and it couldn't end well.

a strong breeze, followed by an almost silent thud let you know that scaramouche had returned home again. he came through the windows, as he usually did when it was late, carelessly chucking his clothes into a corner. you sat up in your bed, welcoming him as he dove into your arms and nuzzled his face in your neck. "'m sorry it took me so long to come back. ran into some trouble," he explained and wrapped his limbs around you, playfully pecking your cheeks and lips as an apology. "is it that mysterious traveler?" you questioned, turning to face him. you brushed the indigo strands of hair out of his face, revealing his brilliant violet eyes to you. scaramouche grew quiet, exhaling loudly. so he was involved in whatever was going on with the vision hunt decree.

"don't worry about it, it'll be over soon. and then i'll return and stay for good, how does that sound?" 

"is the thing that you're doing so unspeakable that you can't tell me? i told you how i felt about your work and i want you to be honest-"

"why can't you let it go?" he asked, annoyed, narrowing his eyes at you. despite his attempts to woo you, you still couldn't recognize him for his efforts, instead focusing on the fact that he was a harbinger. he was exasperated, wanting you to see him only - kunikuzushi, your lover. "it'll be over before you know it. we'll leave the past in the past and- and i'll be with you, forever."

"i want to," you whispered, wrapping your arms around his waist as you hugged him tightly. scaramouche didn't realize how much you were struggling with your own decisions. could he really redeem himself when he was the villain? a villain that was willing to give up his position and power to return to you and live with you in peace. lead the life that he'd always wished for, finally free of his own expectations and goals and focused only on you. it sounded like a dream, one that you'd previously lived before being rudely awoken. undeniably, you were scared. if power to protect was what he wanted, would he be seduced by it? would he really stay by your side? 

"i still have my doubts and i'm still finding it so hard when you keep disappearing with no explanation, leaving me to wonder when you'll return."

"two weeks." scaramouche kissed you gently, cradling your head in his hands. "give me two weeks and i'll be all yours."

shortly after the downfall of the vision hunt decree as well as the revelation that the fatui had conspired the downfall of inazuma and the raiden shogun, scaramouche had returned to you. inazuma slowly got back into a peaceful rhythm with the help of the traveler - it was slowly healing and coming back to its original strength. the people of inazuma were flourishing once more, free from the fear and horror that the vision hunt decree had instilled in them. it filled your heart with warmth to see how people were smiling more, going about their life more carefree and with content hearts. in the midst of it, you slowly regained your own happiness. staying true to his promise, scaramouche stayed with you. you could hardly believe it, waking up to your lover every morning. the soft touches and kisses that you shared in bed and throughout the day, his mellow nature slowly shining through and revealing his true personality. wall after wall was taken down, ice slowly melting into puddles as he stayed with you.

scaramouche was happy helping you in the household, staying hidden most of the time as he knew that the villagers were scared of him due to his association with the fatui. he assured you that he had cut all ties with them, no longer carrying their insignias or even being in contact with them. though still doubtful, you chose to believe him. the topic remained sealed and hidden, only once had you discussed it with him when you were particularly exasperated with him being secretive - he had explained any necessary details but informed you that he wanted to leave it at that. the less you knew, the lower were the possibilities of you getting hurt or coming into the crossfire, should anything happen. he meant it, he wanted to protect you. with all that he had. no longer did his touch feel foreign, no longer did an ominous premonition follow you as you laid in his arms.

maybe you could forget all that had occured. the future seemed to be nice enough.

days bled into one another, until you were sure that you were living your blissful dream once more. you didn’t want to wake up from it again, not wanting to let it go after living in hurt for so long. scaramouche had briefly left the village to fetch some supplies for you, leaving you to your own devices as you harvested the herbs and flowers. the creak of the front gate made you perk up, looking around for the possible visitor or customer. a tall, auburn-haired male approached you with a friendly smile, waving as he greeted you. he looked unfamiliar, possibly a traveler from overseas. you supposed that inazuma did have more visitors now that the borders were open to anyone.

“welcome. is there anything i can do for you?” you placed the baskets to the side, greeting the stranger with a gentle smile. oddly enough, he looked around before addressing you, as if he was looking for someone. perhaps he’d heard of scaramouche, wanting to see the former harbinger up close.

“is scaramouche around? i was looking for him,” the visitor told you. it did strike a chord in you, usually no one was openly looking for scaramouche like this. customers came to buy your herbs, skiddling around the topic expertly and never directly asking to see your lover. could it be…? no, they wouldn’t step foot back on inazuma again, not while the traveler was still around and the entirety of the shogun’s army wary of the fatui.

taking a deep breath, you prepared to reject him. “no, he went out. is there a message i can relay for-”

“tartaglia.”

a sharp voice cut through the tense atmosphere, your head jerked to the side to see scaramouche quickly approaching the two of you. immediately, he hid you behind him, glaring at the taller male. “what do you want? i thought i’d made it clear that i don’t want any contact. i have nothing to say to you or the tsaritsa,” he gritted out, visibly annoyed by his acquaintance. you surmised that it was one of his colleagues, a harbinger that had sought him out. but for what purpose? he had cut all ties. curiously, you peeked at tartaglia from behind scaramouche. he looked friendly enough but similar to scaramouche when he first returned to you, you could tell that it was a facade, one that hid the danger and cunningness.

tartaglia let out an amused laugh, giggling at the former harbinger. his voice returned to a serious tone shortly after as he regarded him, glaring at him knowingly. “you know what i’m here for. the tsaritsa ordered me to retrieve it and bring it back to her.”

“bring it back to her?” scaramouche echoed, regarding tartaglia with a disdainful look. you didn’t understand. what was it that he possessed that the harbingers wanted back? “the gnosis is mine, rightfully so. i will not hand it out, now hush and report to her like the loyal dog that you are.”

“you seem to misunderstand me, that was not a request. it was an order,” tartaglia threatened, slowly creeping closer. what your unknowing eyes couldn’t make out, scaramouche was immediately able to tell and pushed you out of harm's way as the auburn-haired male charged at you. you scrambled to hide behind some barrels, watching with increasing anxiety as tartaglia repeatedly lunged at scaramouche, expertly wielding his hydro daggers. again and again, the evening sky lit up with lightning as scaramouche defended himself and attacked with as much vigor, deadliness sparkling in his eyes as he aimed to take the harbinger down. you felt helpless, not being able to call for help or assist him in any way. but his time with the fatui attested his newfound strength, easily did he defeat tartaglia. 

as your nature was to help people, you immediately went to check up on him, looking for signs of vitality. of course, scaramouche hadn’t killed him, having promised to not engage in such foul and wrong behaviour ever again. though his fingertips had itched, every fiber in his body telling him to get rid of tartaglia before he could hurt you. he knew that tartaglia had deliberately approached you as you were by yourself, seeing an opening to use you as leverage in exchange for the gnosis. ei didn’t have any use for the gnosis and as yae had handed it out to him, it was rightfully his. as one of the former raiden shogun prototypes, he was able to wield its power and so he would if he was in dire need. defeating tartaglia was an easy feat, the younger male not having the same levels of strength just yet. he was much too eager, not refined enough.

“you didn’t have to defeat him like this,” you sighed, relieved that tartaglia was still breathing and seemed to be somewhat stable. you’d provide some first aid, not being able to bear the sight of someone hurt. 

“you don’t need to tend to him like this. one of the underlings will come to fetch him, don’t worry.”

“but-”

sheer cold suddenly chilled you to your bones, wrapping around you and engulfing you as if you were caught up in a blizzard. your limbs refused to move and you were confused. where did this coldness come from? it was slowly suffocating you, stilling the blood in your body. with horror, scaramouche watched as ice engulfed you, his eyes skirting around to find the very person that was responsible for this - it could only be the tsaritsa, only she did possess the strength to wield the cryo power like this. surely enough, the archon stepped closer and closer, leaving a wake of ice and snow in her wake. the flowers in your plants were slowly freezing, layered with fine snow as she came closer. “not only do you leave chaos as you leave the harbingers, now you’ve gone and defeated one of them as well,” the tsaritsa made an irritated noise, stopping right in front of scaramouche. “do you not have any shame? abusing my trust like this, when i allowed you to leave.”

“shouldn’t have sent that watchdog then,” scaramouche snarled, immediately lunging at the archon. “the gnosis is mine, you have no need for it. what use does it have if you possess all of the gnoses, unable to wield them?”

“what do you need it for? to protect this foolish girl?” the tsaritsa retorted, laughing at your demise. “is this how you wish to protect her? no matter how much power you possess, you can never take me down, not with this lack of experience in fighting an archon. hand it over and i shall let you live in peace.”

stubborn and unwilling to negotiate with the cryo archon, scaramouche attacked relentlessly, determined to take her down. he was tired, tired of archons and their pretentious goals. of how easily they discarded anyone that wasn’t of use to them and even worse, mere mortals. he didn’t realize how deep his hatred ran, wanting nothing more than a world without archons so that they may never abuse their powers like this ever again. having been tossed to the side by ei, seeing how easily she and her army were swayed by the fatui and how ruthless the tsaritsa was - he wanted to get rid of them. he wanted peace, a fulfilled life, devote himself to you. learn with you, discover the wonders of the world.

it was a moment of distraction that was scaramouche’s downfall, an opening for the tsaritsa to strike him down. he had to admit, it was silly of him to take his eyes off her for just a second to check up on you - had he just held on, pushed a little more. he was sure he could’ve taken her down. the tsaritsa watched emotionless as her former subject slumped down in front of her. blazing bright purple light erupted in the night sky as she retrieved the gnosis, inspecting it with satisfaction. she now was one step closer to her goal, though she would’ve preferred it being a more smooth process. and not having to get herself involved in it. she had to give scaramouche credit though, the electro archon puppet was a truly stubborn and terrific opponent. if only he had fought for himself and not his lover, he might have won. she supposed she could have a little mercy on the human, as a reward for how well her lover had fought.

the ice slowly melted as the tsaritsa left, disappearing as quickly as she appeared. it was cruel of her, giving you a glimpse of hope as the ice melted but not nearly fast enough for you to get to scaramouche. to patch him up to the best of your abilities as you were sure he would make it - he was strong after all, resilient and tough. tears streamed down your face as you helplessly watched his breathing slow down, limbs twitching slightly as he made slow attempts to move. but it was no use, she’d significantly injured him. only when the moon stood high in the sky was the ice molten so far that you could finally move again. you scrambled towards him, frantically tending to his wounds as you attempted to salvage anything that you could.

“it’s okay,” scaramouche croaked out, eyes bleary as he blinked at you. a tired smile was on his lips, head nuzzling against your lap as you pulled him closer. “don’t waste your energy on it. are you alright?”

his words made you sob, tears clouding your vision as you incessantly tried to help him. but even you subconsciously knew that his life force was slowly slipping through your fingers and you had to watch helplessly as the light in his eyes faded. why? why why why did it have to end like this. why had he been so stubborn and didn’t hand out the gnosis? you would’ve been okay, the tsaritsa said so. you couldn’t accept it, not like this. “i’m okay, but you- you-”

“i told you it’s okay,” he coughed, shudders wracking through his body as he curled up against you. “all that matters is that you’re alive and well. that’s all i could ask for.”

“how am i well? you’re hurt and there’s nothing i can do,” you whimpered, holding him closer. stupid. why couldn’t you have a vision? why weren’t you bestowed with any powers to heal people?

“ah, i’m sorry. i’m hurting you yet again,” scaramouche whispered, smiling sadly as he pressed a weak kiss to the back of your hand. “please don’t resent me, i’m sorry for leaving you again. all i ever wanted was to protect you, the one i love the most.”

“i could never resent you. i love you, kunikuzushi. always have and always will,” you assured him hastily, wanting him to know that you loved him, so very much. despite the coldness that was still clinging to his body, your confession filled him with indescribable warmth. it made it all more bearable. scaramouche had many regrets in his long, long life. but not once did he regret going such great lengths for you. all the kindness and warmth that he had felt throughout his life, all the good in the world that he discovered - it was all thanks to you. whatever he accomplished, it was only a fraction of what he could do to repay your efforts. if anything, he regretted being such a terrible lover. it wasn’t so bad, being in your arms like this once more. as the sun rose on the horizon, he fell into a deep slumber that he would never rouse himself from again.

[oops-all-knuxadow]

Nightmares

The host of Knuxadow week, late to posting her own prompts? It's more likely than you'd think. Have some hurt/comfort to make up for it.

The first time Shadow teleported to the island without invitation, it took over a minute for the echidna to get him to make eye contact. When he finally did, Knuckles saw dark bags under bloodshot eyes and a hollow stare.

"I'm sorry," Shadow had said, voice surprisingly soft. "I just...wanted to be somewhere quiet."

Knuckles understood. Above the rest of the populace as he was, the echidna was unbothered by traffic and whirring machinery and light pollution. Angel Island was full of nothing but Earth's natural sounds, soft on the enhanced senses of the artificial hedgehog and the emerald's guardian.

So he invited him to stay the night. Shadow was not a creature built for greed, and his continued displays of heroism towards saving the world told the echidna that he wasn't here for the Master Emerald. He didn't pry Shadow for details, and in turn, the hedgehog didn't overstay his welcome in another person's home. By dawn, the only evidence he'd ever been there was a handful of stray quills that'd been shed in the night.

Knuckles didn't give it any thought, and had crossed it off as a one-time event. Shadow hadn't caused him trouble, and that's all he could hope for.

But, then it happened again. One second, Knuckles was meditating on the shrine, the next, Shadow had appeared in a mess of labored breathing and raised quills, clearly in some sort of fight or flight mode.

The hedgehog nearly collapsed to his knees upon arrival, swaying dangerously in a way that made Knuckles worry he'd topple down the stairs. But, he'd steadied himself and merely asked that he might stay.

"Again?" Knuckles asked. Shadow didn't waver, but the slow flexing of his fists gave away his anxiety. If rejected, it was clear the striped mobian would leave without protest. "Fine. I'm meditating, so just be quiet until I'm done."

That settled, he relaxed back into his seat, legs crossed, and closed his eyes and breathed deep. He heard Shadow's breathing slowly steady, then the click of his skates walking up the stairs. He felt the heat of his body as he settled down beside him, obeying his request to stay silent.

They remained there together longer than Knuckles could reliably keep track of. When he finally reopened his eyes, he found the hedgehog beside him asleep, body lax and head bowed in his sitting position. His ears twitched now and then, but he seemed otherwise in a comfortable state of rest. He noted that his frown seemed less harsh, the draw of his brows less severe. It made him look more youthful.

The guardian debated leaving Shadow there alone and crawling into his burrow to sleep, but another part of his mind told him that wasn't the right thing to do here.

He sighed and closed his eyes again, letting his back press against the Master Emerald and settling in for an unavoidably sore back in the morning.

At dawn, as he stretched and listened to his bones pop and limbs complain about his sleeping position, he found another few stray quills on his shoulder.

--

Months went by. Every so often, Knuckles would find himself with company, and each thought about kicking Shadow off the island became dismissed faster and faster, until he grew to anticipate his arrival. At this point, he was welcomed with a simple, acknowledging nod and an invitation to join the echidna in whatever activity he was doing at the time.

He wondered what the hedgehog did to alleviate his nightmares before he'd started coming to Angel Island. Did he manage to go back to sleep, like he did with Knuckles? Did he run laps across the globe to work the stress off? Did he turn to anybody else for help, or had he been suffering alone until he couldn't take it anymore?

Knuckles didn't want to think about it. It also wasn't his place to ask; the wordless agreement they'd made was able to stay in place because the echidna didn't try to pry Shadow for information. He granted the hedgehog sanctuary by letting him decompress on the quiet paradise, not by digging into his business, and he would honor that.

At least, he would until he was awoken by his companion nearly seizing beside him one night.

After the little moment they had on the altar, Shadow had slowly tested the waters as to how much physical contact the echidna would allow. It was hard for Knuckles to accept it at first, being simultaneously touch-starved and averse, but the hybrid's presence had never really disturbed him, even when they used to operate on opposite sides of the battlefield.

He was comfortable enough in these little sleepovers now to allow Shadow to sleep side by side with him in his burrow, which is why he was able to feel him thrashing in the night. Knuckles rubbed his eyes, squinting in the darkness to stare at the hedgehog.

Shadow's breathing was unsteady, limbs frequently twitching and spasming as if he were restrained by something. His brows were furrowed and a thin sheen of sweat was slicking his fur.

He couldn't even begin to wonder what the nightmare was about. From what very little he knew of him, Shadow's past was tragic, so any number of things could be plaguing the mobian. The dilemma, here, was what to do.

He could ignore the fit and go back to sleep, hoping for it to pass. He could wake him, and risk a possible lash-out in Shadow's disoriented state.

Or he could soothe.

Knuckles blinked slow, in the dark, and inched towards his guest, praying he would not wake him. Carefully, he reached out his gloveless hands and brought them around Shadow's waist, then drew him close until they lied chest to chest.

Almost immediately, the shaking stopped. Knuckles held his breath for several, terrifying seconds, watching to see if the hedgehog's eyes opened.

Instead, the other male slackened, his chest rising and falling at a calmer rate, and the echidna allowed himself to relax as well. He closed his eyes in relief, head resting on the ground tiredly as he allowed himself to go back to sleep. In his last moments of consciousness, he reflected on the fact that it would be much harder for Shadow to slip away in the early morning, though he was too tired to figure out why that pleased him.

When morning came, Knuckles opened violet eyes to find a swathe of quills in his sightline, and the warmth of a body that wasn't his own. His gaze flicked down, taking in the sight of Shadow's head buried against his chest, red and black arms wrapped around his waist.

He stared for a few moments, then smirked.

"I know you're awake. Your ears twitch when you sleep."

The arms around him squeezed gently in an admission of guilt, and Shadow finally lifted his head, red eyes bright and rested. His expression was guarded.

"I know you aren't a cuddler in your sleep," the hedgehog replied, the question unspoken but heard nonetheless. Knuckles swallowed.

He looked away for a minute to gather his thoughts. Shadow waited patiently, neither of them moving to break away from their embrace, lest they also break whatever atmosphere was currently hovering between them.

Knuckles felt like he had to choose his words carefully, like whatever he said next would change the nature of their companionship. His heart beat faster at the thought of messing this up, of somehow pushing Shadow away.

"You were thrashing last night," he said slowly, "and I wasn't going to lie here and just let you suffer...you're here for comfort, and...and if I can give you that, then I will. I want to."

He looked to the hybrid again, gaze imploring. "Is that okay? Can I...can we..."

Knuckles didn't quite know how to form the words, but the way Shadow seemed to soften told him that he didn't need to. He watched the hedgehog look down and bury his fact in his chest again, arms hugging him tighter.

"Yes," came the muffled reply. "Thank you."

The echidna blushed, returning the embrace, and knew he much preferred to wake up like this. Together.

[mooniefics]

— first impressions

pairing : zeke jaeger / fem reader / reiner braun

word count : 7.5k

tags : sorta fluff (i can’t help myself i love reiner), eventual smut, threesome (f/m/m), situational humiliation, one night stand, spitroasting, drunk + unsafe sex

warnings : nsfw, mild sexual coercion

summary : a chance meeting between you and reiner leaves you enjoying an evening with the warriors upon their much anticipated return from the war. but doing your new friends a favor leads to a night you'll never forget.

— originally posted 12 / 22 / 20 on ao3 —

"reiner! is that really you?!"

you stood quickly from your place at the booth, unable to stop yourself from scrambling up to the small group of soldiers, who were all looking down at you with a mixture of confusion and amusment.

"you didn't tell us you had a girlfriend back home, braun." the dark-haired woman to his right teased, earning a crossed frown from your friend.

"not my girlfriend." he muttered, ignoring their chuckles as he turned his attention back to you, "i haven't changed that much in a few months, have i?"

you sighed, a relieved grin breaking out across your face as he opened his arms to you, gratefully accepting his invitation and squeezing him tight, face pressing into his shoulder. the scent of gunpowder that usually clung to him in his uniform was absent on his civilian clothes, replaced instead with the pleasant smell of fresh linen. "a few months? felt more like a whole year to me."

you stayed cognizant of the people behind him, now exchanging curious glances at the sight of their comrade's affection, the woman who'd initially teased him whispering something to the stern looking man by her side that made his expression crack into a small grin. he pulled away from you after a moment, a soft smile warming his usually sullen features, which dampened at a hand being placed on his shoulder.

"would you care to introduce us, reiner?" a low voice asked, the speaker stepping to reiner's side to get a good look at you.

you instantly recognized the man, face flushing with embarrassment as you scrambled to find your words. "c-captain jaeger! i apologize for interrupting your evening, p-please forgive-"

"nonsense." he said, holding out his hand for you to shake, "and no need for the formalities, feel free to call me zeke."

you clasped your hands gratefully around his, shaking vibrantly much to his amusement. you exchanged names with the remaining three, the tired looking but jovial woman, pieck, insisting that you join them on their night out. seeing as you had already planned to be at the old bar for the rest of the night by yourself, you had no qualms with inviting them all to fill the remaining seats of the booth you'd been occupying before they entered.

"pock here isn't much of a talker," she said after everyone got themselves situated, poking the cheek of the man she'd been whispering to earlier, "he's a little shy, but don't hold it against him."

"i thought i told you not to call me that.." he grumbled in reply, smacking away her hand and earning a small round of laughter from everyone at the table. the freshest face among them, colt, flagged down the barmaiden that was milling about the tavern floor, ordering a beer for everyone at the table with a kind smile.

"this'll be the only one for me tonight." you told him across the table after the woman had sauntered away, "i kinda didn't budget to be drinking more than one beer tonight anyways.."

"don't worry about it." you turned at reiner's voice beside you, gaze flitting down to see him thumbing through the bills in his wallet, "i'll pay for you tonight. my treat."

"nice to see that you know how to treat a lady." zeke quipped with a grin from his place on your left, earning another unreadable frown from reiner, but you could see the flush creeping up on his cheeks as a result of the implication.

before he could dismiss his friend, the barmaiden had returned, toting six mugs filled to the brim with beer on her serving platter. everyone murmured their thanks as she passed them around the table, her eyes lingered on colt before she slipped away to attend to another awaiting party.

"look at you, colt! haven't even been here for thirty minutes and you've already got the ladies swooning." pieck drawled, taking a long sip from her mug with a smile on her lips as she watched the young man stammer out an excuse.

you couldn't help but laugh along at the display, taking a generous drink of your own as you watched the conversation pick up around you. pieck seemed to be more than comfortable with everyone at the table, fueling the majority of the discussion with her playful words. porco, as she'd said, didn't seem to be much of a talker, but nodded along to what the others said, contributing a brief input when he saw fit and staying silent for the rest of the time. colt wasn't naive, but he was easy to tease, the perfect target for little jabs here and there from around the table that drew irritated, flustered protests from him and made everyone laugh.

the dynamic that had intrigued you the most was that between zeke and reiner. they didn't speak directly to the other often, mostly relaying remarks through their responses to the others, but when they did, there seemed to be an odd sort of tension between them. not exactly rivals, but not exactly friends either. they were on the same team, but there was a clear disconnect between them despite that. you felt every slight shift that reiner made when zeke addressed him, debating on whether you should request to move from your place between them for your sake or stay as a buffer for reiner's.

everyone was on their third glass—the only exception being reiner, who was nearly through his fourth—definitely loosened up though not quite drunk yet, but before you could put much thought into how you'd go about doing that, porco spoke to you for the first time. "so, how do you even know reiner?"

"oh! i'd also like to know too!" pieck piped up between sips, downing the rest of her mug in one go and resting her chin in her hands. everyone's attention had turned to you in an instant, intently waiting for your response, making your posture stiffen as you twisted your hands in your lap.

"well, it was a few years ago, when the war with the mid-east had just started ramping up." you began, tensing up the slightest bit when you felt your hand brush reiner's under the table, "i was working at the produce shop down on kaiser lane, and one day reiner came by with his mother on one of her grocery visits, she had always spoken to me about him when i was counting up her total. i asked her if this was son she was always talking about, and she said yes and introduced us. reiner looked tired," pieck giggled at that. "so i tried to hurry it up a little for his sake, and then she paid and they both went on their way. later that day i came here, and i saw him sitting alone at the counter, so i decided to sit down next to him and see if he could put up with my insufferable small talk for a little while. we ended up talking all night, and we've been great friends since then."

"well, isn't that the sweetest thing," pieck smiled warmly at you from across the table, balancing her head on one hand so could pensively drum her fingers across the wood, "if i didn't know any better, i'd say you two made a lovely couple!"

"pieck, would you stop bothering reiner." porco chided, waving a hand at your friend, "just look at him, he looks like he's one more girlfriend comment away from popping a blood vessel."

reiner grumbled out a low 'fuck you', gulping down the rest of his beer and flagging down the barmaiden as the rest of the warriors shared a hearty laugh at his expense. you yourself were similarly blushing at their constant assertions of something more between the two of you. it's not as if you hadn't mulled the idea over in your head many times before on all the previous outings you'd been on together, and the few times the two of you had gotten drunk enough to fool around a bit before one of you came to your senses and excused yourself for the night.

there were some days where you were glad you kept a modest distance between yourselves, and there were others where you wanted to do nothing more than throw all caution to the window and just enjoy one irresponsible night of doing whatever came to mind, no doubts or worries or responsibilities to get in the way, politics and the war be damned. you started to shake away those unnecessary thoughts, but zeke did a much better job of distracting you when his arm fell around your shoulders, giving you a friendly squeeze as he spoke.

"i see that even in good company, my colleagues' manners still aren't up to par," he said, directing his words at you but talking loud enough for anyone to hear, "allow me to apologize on their behalf."

"oh hush, zeke, you're the worst out of all of us!" pieck argued through her laughter, playfully kicking his shin under the table, "you're only playing nice because she's here."

her words didn't draw his attention away from your face, gleaming grey eyes intently drinking in the emotions passing over your flushed features. you laughed nervously, turning away to face the rest of the table, sneaking a glance at reiner as the barmaiden swept by to clean up the empty glasses and replace them with filled mugs. he had an irritated frown drawn across his lips, worry lines creasing his face as he gulped down half of his mug in seconds.

"look's like you're finally not the one overdoing it, huh colt?" you heard pieck whisper into the young man's ear, snickering at him when he turned away from her and huffed.

just glancing around at them all made you forget that everyone of them were living on borrowed time, that in less than a month they would most likely be shipped out on their next assignment to defend marley against any one of the neighboring nations that were just waiting to pounce at the slightest slip up. aside from reiner, they all seemed to be forgetting that fact as well in favor of just enjoying this night while it was still young.

another banter-filled hour passed, your table not noticing how the bar had been steadily emptying as closing time drew near. zeke had kept his grasp around you for the entire time, much to reiner's dismay, which was evident on his face each time you tried to coax him back into the conversation, always faltering each time zeke peered over you to repeat your question to him with a thinly veiled haughtiness. reiner had gone through more beer than anyone at the table, his flushed face and low-lidded gaze along with his slurring words letting you know just how drunk he'd really become. but aside from his borderline unpleasant exchanges with your friend, zeke was incredibly charismatic, almost overbearingly so, your own intoxication making it easy for you give in to his infectious energy and laugh along with him and everyone else at the table.

sure, you were worried about reiner, but he knew that you would always be friends at the end of the day, and you had to make a good impression on these newly introduced people who were so kind as to invite you in on one of their rare leisurely getaways from the military barracks. so you let yourself lean into zeke's side, relishing in the warmth that you'd been craving for so long—a warmth that the alcohol only made you want more and more—the break in your routine that you'd been searching for in an evening alone turning into a night that you were sure you wouldn't forget for a long time. they didn't even seem to care that you weren't an honorary marleyan, or even that you were a lowly blue-collar worker that made a measly sum at her meaningless job on a forgettable street corner.

but alas, the blissfully ignorant fun of the table's atmosphere was dampened by the arrival of the barmaiden with your table's tab, setting it down in front of colt with a coy smile as she gathered up the rest of your empty glasses and disappeared into the back of the tavern.

"aw colt, you never made your move!" pieck chided, giggling as she dug into the pocket of her skirt to reach for her wallet just as everyone else around the table was doing.

"reiner.. are you okay?" you gently nudged his arm, looking over with concern at the sight of him. his elbow was propped on the table, forehead resting in the heel of his palm as he stared down at his lap, mouth drawn into a slight frown.

"shit, he's loaded." porco commented snarkily.

"we can't let magath see him like this!" colt said nervously, looking around at his colleagues, waiting for one of them to come up with a plan to deal with this new issue.

you glanced from colt to reiner, then up at zeke, turning back to everyone as you made an offer. "well.. i have a guest room at my house, he could stay there for the night if it makes things any easier for you all."

"oh, you're an angel!" pieck sighed, reaching across the table and clasping your hands in hers, "and if the commander asks, i could say that he decided to stay with his family!!"

"sharp as always, pieck." zeke chimed from beside you, "though, i don't think it'd be fair to make her watch him all by herself, so i think it'd be best if i help her out with him for the evening, just to be sure he doesn't cause her any trouble."

he met eyes with pieck, and for a moment you thought you saw the briefest flash of realization cross her features, the slightest smirk perking up at her lips before her face relaxed back into its natural smile and she nodded at him. "great idea." she said, tugging at porco and colt's sleeves, "i'll deal with these two, and i'll tell the commander that you had a change of heart as well. reiner, hand me your wallet if you can't count the bills."

"i've got it." he grunted, fumbling with his wallet for a few moments before slamming a fistful of bills down in front of her.

"thank you very much!" she sang happily, getting all the money in order and putting her own small tip for the barmaiden before she slapped colt's arm a few times, prompting him to start scooting out of the booth.

zeke finally retracted his arm to begin leaving the booth, standing out on the floor and offering his hand out to you. you flushed, taking it and allowing him to help you to your feet. everyone got themselves situated, stepping out of the bar and saying their goodbyes, pieck, colt, and porco turning to make their way back to the barracks, zeke slinging reiner's arm over his shoulder and following you along as you gave directions on how to get to your home.

there wasn't many words exchanged between the three of you on your short walk, only having some small talk with zeke between the bouts of comfortable silence hanging around you in the warm night air. you arrived home within minutes, wrestling the key into the old lock and holding open the door for zeke to help reiner in.

"i can walk myself, jaeger." he muttered while kicking his shoes off, earning a low chuckle from the older man.

"then why aren't you doing it right now?"

he didn't get a response as you directed them to your bedroom, hoping to settle him down as soon as you could in the hopes of him being able to get enough rest to sleep off the worst parts of his hangover. while zeke assisted him, you scampered over to the guest bedroom to get it ready for your other, less intoxicated guest. but as you opened the door to the bedroom, you were mortified at the sight of your mess upon looking into the room. in the moment of wanting to do something nice for your friends, you'd completely forget about how you'd basically turned your spare room into more of a storage closet.

looking around to try and think about where to get started, hopefully make it look like you didn't completely neglect this room for the past few months before zeke finished putting his friend to bed, you felt a hand on your shoulder, stiffening in surprise as you slowly turned to look at him.

"i-i'm really sorry, i totally wasn't expecting guests tonight, and i promise i've been meaning to move everything to the basement-"

"don't worry about it, really." he stopped you before you could continue to profusely apologize, offering you another one of those warm smiles that made your knees feel weak, "let me help you, it's the least i could do after you opened your home to a couple of irresponsible soldiers." to your surprise, he brushed past you, picking up one of the many boxes that had accumulated on the bed and floor over the months. "you said you had a basement, right? would you mind showing me where it is exactly?"

unable to find your words, you pointed halfheartedly to the door at the end of the hall, watching him carry one of the few boxes that had left you panting by the time you'd transported them across the house with ease, not even having to set it down to open the door and begin descending the steps. his quick return up the steps finally spurred you into action, hauling another box into your arms and repeating his path of depositing it down in your basement and returning to your room to grab another, making sure to take it slow on your way down the steps from how heavy the alcohol made your limbs feel.

within a few minutes, you both had everything squared away. you let yourself take a seat on the now empty bed, breathing out a sigh of relief and wiping the sweat that had begun to bead around your forehead with the back of your hand, watching as he settled down next to you. "sheesh, you made all that heavy lifting look so easy! and thank you again, for doing such a generous favor for me."

"there's no need to thank me." he replied earnestly, a hand settling on your thigh, making you suppress a small flinch, "you have a lovely home, do you really live all on your own?"

you tried to laugh off the warmth of his hand on your skin through your long skirt. "y-yeah, it's just been me for a while. sometimes friends come over for the night, but for the most part, it's just me."

zeke hummed pensively, grey eyes shining with something dangerous as he gazed down at you. "makes sense that someone such as yourself hasn't found anybody qualified enough to settle down with," he grinned at your flustered expression, openly appreciating the way your eyes widened and you breathed out a soft, indecisive 'thank you', "though, i was so sure that you and reiner had something between you.."

"n-no! it's not like that." the words spilled out of your mouth before you could even think about them, the desire to answer him overriding any clear thought that might cut through your intoxicated embarrassment, "i'm sure s-soldiers such as him and yourself don't really have time to play around with people l-like me."

you mentally slapped yourself for coming to such a conclusion, let alone allowing it to actually exit your brain and be heard by the most esteemed guest you'd probably ever have the honor of hosting.

"oh?" he peered curiously at you, thumb rubbing a slow stroke over your leg, face seeming much closer than it was a few blinks ago, "and what exactly is that supposed to mean?" you knew just how intentional his word choice was, practically setting up a verbal trap for you to fall into, but how could you not take the bait when it was marley's strongest warrior dangling it before you?

"i-i-i'm sorry, s-sir— zeke!"

you scrambled to correct yourself, looking any place except his face and wanting to do nothing more than hide away somewhere where neither him nor reiner could find you to sober yourself up before you could humiliate yourself any further. but you felt the desperation that was now gripping your pounding heart start to squeeze like a vice around it when a rough hand found your chin, gently turning your head to face him again.

"again with the apologies.. what am i going to do with you?"

your bottom lip quivered, more frantic sorries threatening to spill out, but stopped by the lack of air that you were able to take in from his proximity. you hadn't even realized you were holding your breath until you felt a tight ache seize your chest, exhaling an alarmed breath as you stared up into the glinting grey irises studying your face, mirroring their actions at the tavern but containing all of the hunger he'd been hiding in front of his comrades. the hand of your thigh slid up your leg just an inch, zeke breathing out a chuckle at the feeling of you tensing under his touch.

"if you must know," his face was so close that you could even see the pale freckles dotting across his sharp cheekbones and the bridge of his nose, the shadowed contour of his face looking even deeper in the dim light of the guest room, parted lips exhaling a warm breath that fanned across your face, the scent of alcohol still evident as he slowly spoke, "a soldier such as myself can make plenty of time to play around with someone like you."

you couldn't barely contain your awe, drawing in another shaky, shallow breath at the feeling of his lips brushing across your own, just daring you to indulge in his offer. you could barely form a cohesive thought before your brain forced a new topic into your conscious, confusion and shock and abrupt desire drowning out all the rationality that you were so desperately grasping for in this moment.

you'd just met this man tonight, it didn't matter that you'd known of his grand legacy even from when you were a young girl or felt like you'd gotten to know him quite a bit in that short amount of time, you'd only shaken his hand and drank with him and sat face-to-face with him for the first time just a few hours ago. not to mention how the person you were truly familiar with, the one who wasn't nearly a decade your senior, the one you had really been yearning for was just down the hall in your bed, only two shut doors and a few thin walls away from this spectacle. but, zeke was right in front of you, and he was offering out an opportunity that was impossible to refuse—an offer that you really, really didn't want to refuse.

so you didn't. you gave in to the sinful temptation of his warmth, his skin, his soft touches with calloused, work-roughened hands, the knowledge that this kiss was only just the beginning of something unforgettable.

in contrast to his hands, his lips were soft, ridiculously soft as they pressed over yours, the fingers at your chin unfurling to cup the length of your jaw. you leaned into his touch, earning a pleased grunt from him when your trembling hand found his hair, slowly carding through it as you focused on maintaining the easy rhythm of his kiss. you stifled a small sound when the hand on your leg smoothed up to your inner thigh, not pressing any further, just gently stroking and giving the occasional squeeze to the pliant flesh through your skirt.

you could feel the light flutter in your chest heavy and knot into something familiar, twisting deep in your stomach as he sucked at your bottom lip, nipping at it before his attention wandered across your cheek, the hand at your jaw tilting your head up to expose more of your neck to his eager mouth. faint kisses gave way to teasing bites and licks, drawing a soft whimper as he sucked with the intent to bruise where your shoulder met your neck. he seemed to appreciate the way your grasp in his hair tightened, the hand on your thigh traveling across your waist to find the knotted string holding up your skirt.

the progression of his actions felt natural, but almost too fast at the same time, your hand giving an apprehensive tug to his hair when you felt the waistline of your skirt go slack with the undoing of its lacing. he groaned lowly at the sensation, spurring you to do it again when his teeth grazed over the forming redness just right. you could feel the haze of arousal fogged your mind already, all rationale dissipating under the influence of the alcohol and the hands that were now roaming your body, searching for a moment for the top button of your shirt before they began to messily undo those as well. each brush of his fingers across your bare skin sent goosebumps across the expanse of your chest, making quick work of your blouse as he pushed it over your shoulders, guiding your arms out of the sleeves before tossing it aside in favor of working on the clasp of your bra, never pulling away from his place at your neck for more than a moment before returning the bruising attention of his mouth back over the flushed skin.

you breathed out a weak whimper at the feeling of his thumb and forefinger taking one of your nipples between them, bra forgotten somewhere on the floor with your shirt, baring the entirety of your naked torso to him. he could feel how you squirmed when another hand smoothed down your stomach, slipping beneath your skirt's waistline and settling just between your legs, only a sheer barrier provided by your thin underwear, the arousal threatening to soak through the fabric leaving it clinging to every fold. he hummed appreciatively at the welcome surprise, drawing more stifled sounds out of you when his fingers slowly stroked over your clothed cunt.

"all this just for me?" he murmured lowly in your ear, thumb pressing down on your clit, rubbing slow circles over the sensitive nub.

his touch was electrifying, almost overwhelmingly good as you arched into it, the hand at your breast now groping at the supple flesh, palm offering a much-needed friction over your nipple. you finally registered his teasing question, barely managing a disoriented 'mhm' and a small nod, unable to think of anything else besides your heartbeat pounding loud enough that you though he might be able to hear, and the fingers prodded at you and teasing your body as they pleased.

your half-lidded gaze drifted to the door, blinking away the fogginess when you realized it wasn't actually properly shut. you opened your mouth to try and murmur out your observation, but the words in your head spilled out as an incoherent moan, feeling his mouth detach from your bruised neck before he urged you down onto the mattress. but the sight of him standing above you, tugging off his shirt and revealing the impressively toned physique of his stomach and chest, made you forget the ajar door behind him entirely. your hands moved without a second thought, pushing your skirt and underwear down your legs as far as you could, kicking them the rest of the way off as he began to unbuckle his belt.

you couldn't help the way your eyes widened when he shoved down his pants and underwear in one go, unable to choose between focusing your gaze on the smug smirk drawing across his lips or his achingly hard cock, already looking like more than you could handle even at a distance. he plucked his glasses off his face, setting them on the bedside table before he moved over you in bed, your hands tugging him down into a kiss and earning a low chuckle against your lips.

"eager little thing, aren't you?" he only pulled away for a moment to speak, knuckles dragging down the swell of your breast and curving down your waist. your legs spread in anticipation, back arching off the bed when his fingers finally trailed down between your thighs to smooth a finger down your pussy. "and so, so wet."

you squeaked at the intrusion of two thick fingers pumping into you, sliding in easily with a soft, wet sound. the rhythm of your lips faltered, whimpering as his tongue slid between your teeth, tangling with yours, mouth greedily swallowing every desperate sound you made for him. you were grateful for how he was muffling you, just barely remembering that there was another presence in your house besides you and zeke that you had to worry about, heat sparking up your spine at the feeling of his fingers curling just right inside you.

the thought of reiner finding you in here with the captain of his squad, so pathetically obedient and practically dripping from just his fingers, was horrifying and unnervingly thrilling all at once. would he be angry with you? why would he be? what did he even consider you as?

you couldn't dwell on that thought for too long, hips bucking and toes curling when his thumb rubbed firm circles over your clit, wordlessly begging for more. he seemed to be just as impatient as you were in the face of your desperation, pulling away from your lips and removing his touch from between your legs, rolling himself onto his back and tugging you on top of him in one swift motion. you flush even deeper as you watched him drink in the sight of your naked figure, large hands finding your hips, pupils blown wide enough to nearly swallow up the silvery grey of his irises as he eased you down so his cock was just at your aching cunt, offering a sliver of mercy by allowing you to seat yourself onto him as fast or slow as you'd like.

just the first few inches had you whimpering, hands settling on his chest to steady yourself, teeth worrying the skin of your bottom lip, trying to contain the borderline humiliating sounds that were making him grin so smugly up at you. you could feel tears pricking your eyes by the time you finally sank all the way down, deep, shaky breaths giving away your lack of composure even more so than the way the thighs on either side of him tremble, or the nails now digging into the toned muscles of his shoulders. he gave you just a moment of respite, letting you get used to the feeling of something so big before his grip on your hips fastened, fingers sinking into the soft flesh as he began to guide you up and down on his cock.

the low groan your motion earned from him was enough to make your already pounding heart race even faster, heat echoing through you in a way that made it impossible to silence the heated whines that were spilling out of you. the bed squeaked in protest beneath you, but you could care less as you quickened the pace he'd started you at all on your own, admiring the flush that had darkened over his handsome features and the parted lips breathing out low curses and appraising groans.

his eyes fell shut, head falling back before he forced it back up, gaze wandering across your face, then your body, then flitting elsewhere for the briefest moment before they returned to you, hips now thrusting up with even more vigor to meet your own. you moaned openly, struggling out a meaningless string of pleas, the ache beginning to burn in your legs drowned out when he reached out to rub tight, fast circles around your clit. he was grinning now, licking his lips before he spoke in a knowing slur, "you're gonna cum soon, aren't you?"

"yes, f-fuck yes..!" it took you a moment to find your words, embarrassed by how fast he'd managed to work you up to this point but unable to be dishonest in your current position.

his motions didn't falter in the slightest, only seeming to grow more and more urgent as you quivered and whined, bouncing yourself up and down on his cock like it was the last time you'll ever get the chance to do it. and while that's likely the case, you don't care to think about it, too wrapped up in the way you could feel that pressure that had been welling in your stomach finally reach a breaking point, stammered curses devolving into breathless cries as you came hard around him.

you could feel the movement of his hips slow significantly, still rocking up into you to let you ride out your high but not nearly enough for him to push himself over the edge along with you. but you're grateful for his mercy, knowing that if he'd continued at the pace he was going you probably wouldn't be able to walk the next morning. so you took it as a testament to his goodwill, falling forward onto his chest in a whimpering heap, trying to steady your breathing and calm your heart rate, remaining seated on his still hard cock.

you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist, the other resting across your shoulder so he could settle his hand on the back of your head, fingers working their way into your hair and gently carding through it. the attention was comforting, unexpected but definitely comforting as you pressed your face into the crook of his neck, still too hazy off of your post-orgasm bliss to have any shame about wanting to be close to his warmth. you didn't think about whether he was expecting you to get him off at some point, or if he was just content letting you rest on top of him like this, but you soon found that he had a much different answer—or rather, a question—that didn't at all take you into consideration.

"so, reiner, are you just going to stand there and watch all night?"

there was confusion for a brief moment, then a horrifying realization that made an ice-cold fear prick under your spine, blood draining from your face as you felt the fine hairs on the back of your neck raise, completely frozen at the knowledge that the worst of the night you had imagined had come true. zeke's hand didn't stop its slow petting across your head, arm fastening around your body, seemingly in preparation for you to start squirming or fighting to get away. but you couldn't move an inch, not even enough to turn your head and risk a glance at your friend who was apparently right at the door.

"well?" his voice rumbled low in his chest once more, dripping with arrogance, entirely absent of any shame, just tempting him to step past the unseen boundary that had kept him there for however long he'd been watching, "i know, i know, you haven't your fair share all night. it's just so, sohard to let go once you finally get your hands on her. you should know all about that feeling, right?"

"fuck you."

you felt a warm curl in your stomach at the sound of his voice, breathing short and fast as your heart skipped anxiously, but mentally almost enjoying the fact that he was feeling something for you, even if it was some sort of possessive envy. the sound of his heavy, uneven footsteps making their way towards the bed.

he clearly still sounded drunk—who wouldn't be after so many beers in one sitting—and that was probably why he didn't hesitate at all to start tugging his clothes off, the ruffle of fabric and clinking metal of a belt being unbuckled finally snapping out of your compliant state, shaky arms trying to push yourself in bed. zeke allowed you to sit up, hands dropping to your thighs as your foggy gaze wandered from his face over to reiner at the bedside, heartbeat nearly drowning out the other sounds in the room as it drummed loudly in your ears.

"you don't mind, do you?" zeke called your attention back to him, gently stroking up and down your thigh just as he had been when you'd first accepted his offer.

your mouth had gone dry, leaving you struggling to get enough saliva back for your tongue not to stick to the roof of your mouth, feeling the heat of arousal flickering back to life when his cock twitched inside of you. did you mind? well you definitely minded the humiliation, the anxiety taut within your chest that made each breath an effort, the fact that you had no idea what was going on or would happen next. but did you mind enough to force yourself off of him, to struggle to collect your clothes from the ground and stagger out of the room with shaky legs that you weren't sure were capable of doing even that right now? did you really want this?

but it seemed that the choice had already been made in both of their minds, your answer—or lack thereof— speaking for your choice in the matter as zeke's hands lifted you up off of his lap, enough for him to slip out from under you. the sudden emptiness after being so full made you whimper, falling back down onto your calves in the middle of the bed and staring down at zeke's cock, slick with your arousal and still aching to be tended to.

the sinking weight of reiner clambering onto the bed behind you made you exhale a shaky breath, still in disbelief as his hand settled on your cheek, turning your head to face over his shoulder to press his lips onto yours. his kiss was messy but familiar, his low moan making you shiver alongside the feeling of zeke's stare wandering across the display before him. your exchange didn't last long before he pulled away, gazing at you with an unreadable look in his golden eyes for a moment, hand moving to the back of your head to push you down onto your hands and knees.

you obediently complied, met with the sight of zeke's cock once more, peering up to meet his gaze, features showing a mixture of eager expectancy and relaxed pride, just knowing that you were willing to do whatever he asked of you. and he relished in the changes your expressions went through in the next few seconds, the way your eyes widened when reiner's hands grasped your soft hips, how you swallowed thickly to try and get enough saliva down your tongue to get your mouth ready, and finally your mouth falling open and face twisting when reiner eased himself entirely into you in one solid thrust, finding little resistance from how soaked you were. you whimpered out a shaky curse, fists bunching up the sheets under you as he picked up a steady rhythm from behind you, zeke's fingers tangling into your hair and guiding onto your parted lips onto his awaiting cock.

he groaned out at the wet heat of your mouth engulfing him, tongue laving up over the underside of his length as you did your best to take as much of him in as possible without gagging. you wanted to be ashamed of how much you were enjoying the feeling of being entirely overwhelming, fuller than you'd ever felt in your entire life, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said that you'd made a mistake by giving in to the lustful temptations. you could feel your eyes water as zeke hit the back of your throat, your teary gaze and muffled moans against him only seeming to enthrall him further. reiner's hands felt up your waist, one reaching down your front to pinch and roll a nipple between his fingers, driving more stifled sounds and shaky breaths through your nose out of you.

you felt yourself squeezing around his cock, earning yourself a few low, muttered curses as he began to pound even faster into you, evidently approaching his limit just as fast as you are. the hand in your hair was guiding you up and down on the cock in your mouth, the tip of your nose just brushing zeke's stomach each time you surged forward with the momentum of the thrusts from behind you. it was all far too much in the best way possible, vision going hazy at the edges from the lack of proper air you could get into your lungs, insides aching from overusing alongside the tight knotting deep in your gut that was threatening to send you over the edge.

it was zeke that came first, heat pooling over your tongue and spilling down your throat, nearly too much for you to swallow as you tried not to choke. but he kept himself in your mouth and his hand firmly grasping your hair, if not to feel the hum of your desperate whines across your skin then to admire your pathetic expression, half-lidded eyes barely able to hold themselves open enough to stare back at him as you came hard for the second time that night. you could hear reiner give a generous groan of your name, thrusting as deep as he could go just a few times more, having enough sense to not cum inside you, pulling out and making a sticky mess of your trembling thighs.

only after you'd blinked away the glossiness in your eyes did zeke pull himself out of your mouth with a wet pop, holding your head up to appreciate the way your mouth still hung open to gasp in much needed gulps of air, tears and saliva dripping down your chin, halfhearted whimpers still escaping you as you trembled.

"you have good taste, reiner." zeke said, releasing your hair and letting you rest your cheek down against the mattress under you, grabbing his glasses off the side table and putting them back onto his face.

you watched as he stepped off the bed, picking out his clothes from the messy array of garments strewn about on the floor and tugging them on. he fished a handkerchief out of the the pocket of his pants, tossing it at reiner's side and glancing over your body, offering you a lazy smile when he caught your gaze.

"clean her up," he instructed, reaching out to give one last soft touch down your back, "and don't give her anymore trouble, alright? i expect to see you bright and early tomorrow."

you assumed that reiner nodded, since zeke turned without another word and exited the bedroom, making sure to shut the door behind him. for a moment, there was uneasy silence, only occupied by your breaths and the faint sound of zeke pulling on his boots somewhere in the living room and leaving out the front door. you gave a low hiss at the feeling of the fabric smoothing down the backs of your thighs, skin far too sensitive for your liking and legs aching uncomfortably.

you lifted your head up enough to wipe your chin with the back of your hand, eyes and limbs heavy with the desire to sleep. there were no words exchanged as he helped you move to lay down on your back, his face just as tired as he'd looked at the bar, but there was something else weighing down his expression as you took his face in your hands, staring up at him with a soft look of concern.

and though he still said nothing, he kissed you, so much gentler than he'd ever kissed you, with a tenderness that made you want savor this brief moment for as long as you could. but he eventually pulled away, and the brief worry that he might leave just as his captain had minutes before, but he rested down beside you with a low sigh. he didn't protest when you curled into the warmth of his body, head finding a comfortable place on his chest, not even bothering to try and venture out onto the floor to turn off the lamp before you settled down and let your eyes fall shut.

it was easy to fall asleep after he wrapped his arms around you, firm chest rising and falling with steady breaths, heart slow in your ear. you didn't think about the fact that you'd probably wake up alone in the morning, or that walking properly would be a monumental task on its own without even considering going to work to stay on your feet for the entire day—just appreciated this night while he couldn't slip away from you like all the other times before.

[spicycreativity]

Intertwined - Chapter 1

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: It's a hanahaki fic, so. Mild body horror, blood, respiratory illness. (Starts at Ch 3 and gets worse from there).

Characters: All

Pairing: Moceit

Additional Notes: This one was supposed to be Darker and Longer, but turns out I'm not in the headspace to write angst atm, so it ends up moving p fast. Swaps between Janus and Patton's POVs. Post-PoF, light angst. Not whump. They both get hanahaki, but there is absolutely no version of Moceit in my mind where Janus isn't the one who falls first. My AO3 username is WizatdGlick.

Summary: The story of how Janus and Patton find each other at rock bottom and fall in love anyway.

A gentle knock on Janus' door drew him out of his thoughts. He donned a mask of triumph as he rose to open it, straightening his hat as he went. It couldn't be Remus; Remus never knocked so softly, which meant that Janus had to perform. He slid into the role with difficulty, struggling to find the edges of this gloating persona when all he felt was numb and tired and lost.

It was Patton at the door, and Janus felt everything slip, and Patton's eyes lit up with recognition, and all of Janus' resolve fell away in the face of that beseeching gaze.

"Come for another debate?" Janus asked in a low voice, making no effort to hide his ironical smile.

Patton smiled too, though he dropped it a moment too soon. Janus got the distinct impression that Patton was also far too wrung-out to put on any kind of act tonight. "Just came to check on you."

It would be as natural as breathing for Janus to draw back, place his fingertips delicately to his chest, widen his eyes. ' Check on me?' he would say, all faux-innocence, ' Please, Patton, I'm not a child. I don't need your pity.'

But he didn't.

Here was Patton, reaching out, and hadn't that been what Janus had wanted all along? That tiny, fervent flame that he hadn't allowed himself to acknowledge, that smallest ember of hope that someone might just give him what he was convinced he had to take.

The seconds stretched out until the silence verged on awkward, and Janus' pride stood up to do what his cunning would not: "I'm fine." He was fine, strangely. Not happy, as he perhaps should have been, but nothing hurt.

Patton's brow furrowed. "Am I supposed to believe that?" he asked gently.

Something warm and soft and dangerous bloomed in Janus' chest at Patton's look of confusion. He had freckles on his nose, scattered like spilled cinnamon: a trait assigned by Thomas’ subconscious. "Patton," Janus said, flicking his gaze upwards to meet Patton's eyes. "Would you like to come in?"

"To your room ?" Patton asked, eyes widening. He looked past Janus' shoulder and Janus fought not to move and block Patton's gaze with his body. He had just invited Patton in; there was no point getting shy now. "Won't that, y'know, do something to me?"

"It's just a matter of self-control," Janus said, hoping to get a smile out of Patton.

Sure enough, Patton did smile. "What color is my shirt?"

Janus said, "True blue," and stepped backwards to let Patton in.

It was a risk to bring someone into his room like this, but he felt unusually clear-headed tonight, calm and strangely secure despite the fact he had just let a known enemy past his defenses, and despite the exhaustion that made every breath feel heavy.

"Warm in here," Patton remarked, looking around.

Janus motioned him over to a set of armchairs. To be seen was to be judged, and he wasn't sure what he would do if Patton found him lacking again . "I have a question for you, Patton."

In the low light, the tear tracks on Patton's cheeks glimmered when he tilted his head inquisitively. "You do?"

Janus nodded, slow and calculated. He was sure he already knew the answer to the question, and preemptive anger bubbled thick and hot in his veins. "Who," he said, unable to keep from glaring, "came to check on you?"

"Well," said Patton, "Ah… They don't-- Everyone's upset right now--"

"And you're not?" Janus demanded. "And don't you dare tell me that you're fine." His emotions were running too hot; he needed to check himself, but seeing Patton make excuses filled him with a passion he'd only ever felt on Thomas' behalf.

"I am--"

"Don't."

"But I have to be," Patton whispered. "I can't-- I know they told me… They said it was okay for me to be sad, but--"

"If you fall apart, there's no one there to pick up the pieces," Janus guessed. "Sure, you can be sad, as long as it doesn't interfere with your role."

"Don't be mad at them," Patton pleaded, and Janus realized with a jolt that he would get into no one's good graces by slinging around insults.

"It's just hard," Janus said plainly, only half-noticing the words coming out of his mouth. He had just become aware of a keen and sickening new desire, borne on the back of a newfound respect for Patton that he had even lasted this long without having some sort of spectacular breakdown. Janus' whole chest ached with it, that and the equally sickening knowledge that he had just become horrifically vulnerable, that he had fallen under a spell he could never hope to break.

He saw it in his mind's eye: he saw himself stand and lean over, take Patton's jaw in his hands, kiss him long and deep and slow. He saw himself lay his body and soul bare before Patton, getting on his knees to forgive Patton all his perceived flaws. He meant well, after all. He only ever meant well, and it wasn't really his fault that those good intentions were capable of morphing into a cruel and deadly weapon.

But he would plunge that weapon straight into Janus' heart before their lips could ever even meet. Janus could see it now, Patton pulling away in confusion and disgust. His tenuous patience would give out then and there, and Janus would have no hope of acceptance ever again. Same for Remus, probably. They would remain Dark Sides forever, damned to be eternal outcasts. All thanks to Janus' pathetic inability to control himself.

"Why do you care so much about…" Patton hesitated for a moment and gave a shallow sigh. "Well, about me?"

And now Janus found himself walking a chasm’s edge. His instinct was to lean hard into the opposite of the truth and insult Patton so deeply that he left and never came back. Eliminate the threat. But that wasn't an option now of all times. No, he had to maintain a friendship with Patton, somehow. He had to keep himself under control. How fun. "You're a part of Thomas," Janus said. He paused.

"So are the others."

"You've earned my respect."

"Oh," said Patton. "Wow, um. Gosh, that's…" His lower lip trembled. "I should go," he said in a broken voice.

Janus surveyed him in silent agony, teetering on the precipice of a lie. With a monumental effort, he pulled himself away from it and opened his arms. "Come here."

The floodgates opened. Patton fell into Janus' lap, already sobbing. Janus held him, all his muscles stiff and awkward. He was much smaller in the mindscape than he was in Thomas’ eyes and it was difficult to support Patton’s much larger frame. A sharp pain flared in Janus’ collarbone where Patton had buried his forehead and his tears were already starting to seep through Janus' clothes. He cringed at himself and the absurdity of the situation, wishing he had some way to make it better. He should have had words for this, all the right words to soothe away Patton's worries and set him right again. But he was so tired.

"I'm s-s-sorry," Patton said through shuddering sobs that dug his forehead harder into Janus' clavicle.

"It's okay," Janus said, concentrating hard on keeping the effects of his room at bay.

"Are you--" Patton sniffled " --sure you're okay?"

A rush of affection melted Janus' heart and he sighed and held Patton closer despite the shooting pain in his collarbone and the ache in his arms. Even in the midst of a post-breakdown breakdown, Patton was self-sacrificing (self- destructive) enough to check in on him. "You don't have a selfish bone in your body, do you?" Janus sighed, lamenting Patton’s bleeding heart. For some reason, this only made Patton cry harder. Janus cast his mind back to the last time Remus was this upset, found nothing, had to speculate. He and Remus and Virgil were self-sufficient, secretive. When it came to personal crises, they weathered them alone and bore the aftermath in stoicism. "Do you want me to play with your hair?"

"I don't know," Patton sobbed into Janus' chest.

Janus sighed and began to run his fingers through Patton's honey-colored hair, grateful that the thick material of his gloves kept their skin from touching. It was better this way, and a good reminder for Janus. He guarded his heart so closely for a reason.

 

Janus, despite the discomfort from the awkward weight distribution and the clammy feeling of cooled tears on his shirt, was half-asleep in the chair by the time Patton stopped crying.

"Sorry," Patton said, pulling away, and even with snot and tears all over his flushed cheeks, even with his eyes all red and puffy behind his fogged-up glasses and his hair standing up at strange diagonals from Janus' attempts at comfort, he was radiant.

"For having feelings?" Janus asked, gently imaging himself into a new, dry shirt.

"For making them your problem." Patton took his glasses off and began to polish them on the hem of his own shirt.

"Patton, I need you to know this." Janus waited until Patton looked at him before continuing, "I owe you nothing. If I had wanted you to leave, I would have asked you to leave and thought nothing of it."

Patton nodded and went back to polishing his glasses. They were silent for a long moment, during which Janus found himself unable to suppress a series of yawns. It must have been around 4:00 in the morning by this point. They had to have been the only ones awake.

"Hey, Janus," Patton said, finally putting his glasses back on. "You know The Breakfast Club?"

"Yes," Janus said distractedly, trying to figure out where Patton was going with this.

"This wasn't our version of that, was it?"

"What do you mean?"

"When tomorrow comes and we're back to, to some sort of normal… You'll still be my friend, right?"

Now here was a situation Janus had never once envisioned for himself. He had pictured winning over Roman, had pictured gaining Thomas' support. Never once had he expected real friendship with any of them, let alone Patton. "Yes," he said, feeling sick at the irony of it. He had been comfortable as Patton's enemy, was now yearning for his kiss… How could he be friends with Patton when he burned like this for Patton's wholehearted affection? Was he really just supposed to endure it?

Patton smiled, so sweet and earnest that Janus had to bite down on his tongue. "Good," he said. "Speaking of, do you wanna have breakfast with me?"

"Not right now, I hope," Janus teased.

"No, no, not right now." Patton muffled a yawn into his sleeve. "I guess I'd better go."

Janus nodded. "See you in the morning?"

"Um," said Patton, who didn't appear to have been listening. "Thank you, Janus. You didn't have to-- Well, thank you."

He sank out without another word.

Janus imagined himself into his pajamas, imagined the lights off and threw himself onto his bed. "Fuck."

 

--

 

Frigid air seeped from the hallway seeped under the crack where Janus' door stopped just short of the carpet. He didn't allow himself to notice, and continued to put his outfit on piece by agonizing piece. The cold air made his joints slow and achy, and he struggled to get the clasps done up. It was just as well that he hadn't put on his gloves yet. He had become quite adept at handling things while wearing them, but for this task, the bulky fabric would only get in the way. After all, just like his singular snake fang, his gloves were for aesthetics, not function.

Finally, he donned his hat and faced the door, forced to confront that fatal truth: He could never have what he wanted. The moment he had achieved his goal of Thomas’ acceptance, the triumph had slipped away in his hands to be replaced with a truly unattainable goal.

Memories from last night, the phantom sensation of Patton in his arms, teased him until he had to sneer at himself. Pathetic. He was acting pathetic. Falling for Patton was strategically inadvisable, even if he couldn’t help it, but actively pursuing him was out of the question. It was all-risk, no reward. Still, his treacherous heart fluttered, teasing him with the thought of Patton’s lips on his own, Patton’s hands on his body, sharing heat, deepening the kiss--

“All risk,” Janus said out loud to himself, “no reward.” A mantra to see him through. He opened his door, his gloved hand slipping a little on the polished brass of his doorknob, and nearly walked straight into Remus as he passed by with an armful of dismembered dolls.

“Well,” said Janus, tilting his head to better examine the pile of plastic limbs and bodies in Remus’ arms, “I won’t ask what you’re up to.” He stifled a yawn behind his hand, visualizing a piping hot cup of coffee. A shudder wrecked his concentration and he frowned. “Are you the reason it’s so cold in here?”

Remus ignored the question, his feverish eyes darting from Janus’ mouth to his hand to his face. “I knew you were up late last night. That’s why I came this way.” He gave a crooked but strangely boyish grin. “I wanted to know where you’d gotten off to. Or who you’d gotten off with. ”

Janus, to his horror, blushed. Fragmented images flashed through his head-- What if he had kissed Patton? And Patton had kissed back? Mask, mask, mask! “I was spreading the Gospel.”

“You were spreading something , though, weren’t you?” Remus shifted the dolls in his arms and held up a masculine torso. “I know I heard Big Daddy’s voice. Play a little game of Patton- Snake , did you?”

Janus swore he could hear porcelain cracking as his heart began to race. “In all seriousness, Remus, we did reach an agreement.”

“Sounds like you reached more than that.” Remus waggled his tongue.

God, he was relentless when he was on the scent of something. Janus hid his face behind his hands, realizing a moment too late that this display of shame would only add fuel to the fire. So he took the only option left and muttered, “Boundaries,” into his palms.

“Oh,” said Remus, leaning back on his heels. “ Oh. Janus, you didn’t .”

“Of course we didn't!” Janus hissed, dropping his hands.

"But you wanted to?"

“How much did you hear yesterday, anyway?”

“Oh, I heard the whole debacle, including that heartwarming little moment at the end,” Remus said, rocking forward onto his toes. “Thanks for putting in a good word for me, by the way.”

They fell into an awkward silence as Janus once again reached for words that simply weren’t there. “I didn’t mean it,” he said finally, cursing himself.

“No?” said Remus. “Not even a teeny tiny little bit?” He poked Janus in the chest with the plastic torso, still clenched in his left hand. “Right here?”

“You,” said Janus, “are just as evil as I am.”

Remus backed off with a grin, leaving Janus in doubt that he had ever even been angry in the first place. “So where are you off to now? Roman’s got this place awfully cold; gonna go warm Patton’s snake?”

“You already made a ‘Patton snake’ joke,” Janus said, slamming another mask onto his face to hide his blush. “But to answer your question, he asked me to join him for breakfast.”

“Aww.” Remus wiped fake tears from his cheeks. “You better not start spending too much time with him or I’m going to get jealous.”

[sillyteecup]

What happens next?

Scott McCall x black!Reader

Post season 5, pre season 6.

Warnings:

Mentions of Death

Slight cursing

Overall terrible writing (because my english is bad and so are my writing skills)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Scott were about 20 minutes into The Princess and the frog when you needed the bathroom. "Yo please pause the movie. I'll be back in about a minute ," you said as you got up from your bed. Scott nodded and paused the movie on the laptop. He got off the bed to get his phone on your dresser. A framed picture of you two (well the whole pack but it was your million dollar grin that caught his attention) in junior year caught his attention. It was taken between the Alpha pack and Nogitsune sagas. The most peaceful week of your lives.

He put the picture down and was about to go back to the bed when he noticed a bunch of envelopes stacked on top of each other, all of them adressed to you and labeled "acceptance letters" in your handwriting. He noticed that they were already opened and had a mental debate about whether or not he should read the letters inside. He made his decision and stuck his hand in the first envelope. The letter was from Princeton university-before he could read further, your door swung open which startled him.

"Sorry I took so long, my mom," you said deciding not to give a further explanation. He didn't respond and thats when you noticed the letter in his hand. You pressed your lips into a thin line and bit the inside of your cheek. You knew it was about to get ugly. A rather uncomfortable silence settled in the room, weighing in heavily on both of you. Scott decided to break it by speaking. "So. Princeton," he said as he held the letter up. You weren't sure if he was angry or hurt, or maybe even both. "I was gonna tell you," you whispered. "When?" he asked softly. You could hear the small crack in his voice and it broke your heart. You couldn't find an answer so you remained silent. "When were you going to tell me?" he questioned, the hurt in his voice becoming more evident. "I-I don't know," you sputtered barely over a whisper.

He looked at you in disbelief and chuckled dryly. "You dont know," he drawled. You winced at his harsh tone. Scott had never been the type to get angry. Well not since he became a true alpha anyway. He had always been sweet and understaning. "How long have you known," he demanded. You remained quiet, knowing that your answer would make the situation worse, but Scott wasn't about to let it go. "How. Long Y/N?" You thought about it one more time and chalked up the conclusion that whether or not you answered, it would still piss him off, which meant you had to come clean. "A month." To the human ear, your answer was inaudible. To the true alpha's ears, they were loud and crystal clear. He wasn't liking them one bit. "A mon- a whole fucking month!?" he hissed. "And you decided not to tell me?" he asked, his voice getting softer. "I didn't know how. You were excited about us all going to schools in California and I didn't wanna hurt you," you rambled. For the first time since this argument started, you lifted your head to look into his eyes. His heartbroken chocolate brown eyes.

"You dont think I would've understood ? Why did you apply at Princeton anyway?" "Its one of the best schools in America." You had to admit that your lie was pathetic, and he knew it. He let out a tired sigh and spoke: "You know I can hear your heartbeat right? Please stop lying to me." You let out a shaky breath and decided to tell the truth. "Because I'm tired of Scott. Im tired of being hunted, I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of watching innocent people lose their lives. I'm tired of watching you get hurt, I'm tired of watching my friends die for fucks sake! I know its been a year since Allison and Aiden died but I can't get over it. There's still a part of me that absolutely despises and fears Stiles. I cant look him in the eye without seeing my friends take their last breaths and I'm sick of it! You were killed by Theo not so long ago. Like you literally died and I had to watch your grief stricken mother bring you back! And thats not even counting the amount of times I've almost died! I can't be anywhere near Beacon Hills Scott. I'm sorry that I have to leave you but if I stay here any longer, I'm gonna end up losing my fucking mind!" That was it. Everything you had bottled up in the past year just came flooding in tears.

Any semblance of anger that Scott had, automatically vanished as he rushed over to hold you whike you broke down. You two stayed like that for a while until you stopped crying. "Im sorry. I should've told you," you whispered. "Shh. Its okay, I should've handled it better. Im sorry too," he cooed into your braids.

You pulled away to look up at him. His soft yet conflicted eyes pierce into yours and at that moment you felt like you knew what he was gonna say next. You dreaded it.

"So what about us? You're going to Princeton and I'm going to UC Davis which are thousands of miles apart. What about our relationship after high school? What happens next?"

[queenattheopera]

Star-Crossed Lovers

Ben Hardy x Reader & Joe Mazzello x Reader

This will be a series..

Prompt: Reader tries to form a relationship with Joe Mazzello but things don’t turn out like planned.

Warnings: light swearing

I posted this later then I said I would, I’m sorry

Being friends with Joe meant spending almost all of our time free time together. Now as a huge fan of his I would have never expected to actually forge a friendship with him. He’s older, an actor, and he seems really busy. Despite all this we had found a way to become really close friends.

“Move your legs.” I was spread across his couch in his apartment when he had walked up to me holding a bowl of popcorn. Without looking up from my phone, I had lifted my legs and softly lowered them back onto his lap. I haven't known him for that long so I wasn't sure how he would react to this but he didn't seem to mind. He put the bowl between us and then pressed play on the movie. “I still don't believe that you've never seen Jurassic Park. I mean it's a classic.” I leaned towards the coffee table to put my phone down. He held my legs so I wouldn't fall, but as I was on the couch again he didn't pull his hand away from my thigh. I blushed a little and I could feel my heart start racing. Ignoring the feeling, I look at the t.v. but i continued to watch him from the corner of my eye.

“I'm not shiting you. I have never in my life, seen Jurassic Park. Do you know who’s in it?” I turn to look at him with a smirk as he playfully rolled his eyes. “Oh i'm not sure I remember, but my favorite character is this really smart kid.” I laughed. Even though the movie started I couldn't tear my eyes off of Joe.

He notices me staring and touches his face, my smile falters for a second because of the lack if warmth where his hand rested. “What? Is there something on my face?”

“No, I just thought I saw a dinosaur behind you.” Instead of rolling his eyes like I expected, his eyes went wide. He begins to turn around slowly. Once he fully turns around he pretends to get attacked and throws himself on me.

“Ahhhhhh, Y/N!! Save yourself!!” I burst out in laughter as thrashes around and tries to defend himself against the imaginary dinosaur. I try my best to hold the popcorn away from him. “Joe!! You’re going to spill the popcorn all over the floor, stop!” He suddenly lays motionless on my stomach. His mouth is wide open and I try to get him to move. “Joe, cmon I know your not dead.”

He still doesn’t move so I start throwing some popcorn towards his mouth. I miss the first few but he moves to catch the last one.

He starts to laugh while chewing the piece he caught. “You have terrible aim,” I rolled my eyes. “Like you could do any better.”

“I’m sure I can.” Joe rolls over onto his stomach, now resting in between my legs. He takes a hand full of popcorn and closes one eye to get a better aim. I open my mouth but I couldn’t keep myself from laughing as I watched him. He throws one and makes it into my mouth. “See! I told you I could do it!”

“It was a lucky shot!” He takes aim again and waits for me to stop moving. This time I moved on purpose so he would miss. I did this one more time before he gives up. “Those don’t count you cheated!”

I laughed at his pouty face, “What are you gonna do about it?” He smiled mischievously and before I could escape he starts to tickle me. “Joe!! Omg stop!” I was laughing loudly as I tried to pry his hands off me.

He suddenly stops and I look down to see him smiling gently towards me. I feel the butterflies in my stomach and I knew I started to blush. I look back at the t.v. and refuse to say anything.

I feel him move to get comfortable but he stays on my lap. We were both quiet for a while but I knew both of us would take glances at each other. Occasionally our hands would touch when grabbing popcorn but neither of us did anything after. When Joe was on screen I began to gush over him.

“Joe look at you!! You were so cute! Awww little baby Joey-“ “Hey!” I looked at him, he was slightly offended, “I’m still cute!” I tried to hold back a laugh and instead I ran my hand through his hair.

“Well I’d say you're definitely hotter now.” I give him a smirk and wink. I immediately regretted it as I started to blush. Still I tried to remain calm and looked at the t.v. I could see him still staring from the corner of my eye. When I face him again I could see a light blush on his face. We hold eye contact for what seems like forever. I’m trying to memorize the color of his eyes and the slight curl of his hair. He seems to realize he’s still staring and and quickly turns back to the t.v.

I run my fingers through his hair. It was really soft and it definitely felt longer than it looked. He hums at the contact and begins to settle into his spot. It wasn’t too long after that I heard a light snore come from him. I giggled and I pulled my hand away. Joe noticed and woke up an in instant. He didn’t open his eyes, instead he just felt around for my hand and placed it back on his head.

I started running my hands through his hair again and he slowly went to sleep again. I watched him move a bit as I continued to stroke his head. Not much time later I had fallen asleep too.

It doesn’t take much to wake me up so when there was a knock at the door I was the one to get up and answer it. I was still half asleep and I’m pretty sure my hair didn't look the best but at this very moment I didn’t care.

I opened the door and I was met with a very surprised Ben Hardy. My eyes went wide but I quickly put out held out my hand, “um hi, im y/n,,” he smirks and takes my hand.

“Ben.” I laugh lightly, “ohh um you must be here for Joe. He’s asleep in the living room.”

His face immediately lights up and I could see him beginning to put a plan together. He walks in and I close the door behind him. I watch as he slowly tries to squeeze next to Joe on the couch. He’s actually able to pull it off and is then spooning him. Ben tucks his head into the crook of Joe’s neck.

“Mmhm Y/n..” My eyes go wide and I start to blush as I realize that he thinks I’m the one cuddling with him. “That’s not my name love, try again.” Ben was whispering extremely close to his ear. It must have scared the crap out of him because a second later Joe threw himself off the couch. He was panting and had his hand over his heart. After seeing Ben and I laughing, he relaxed onto the floor and put his hands over his face.

I walked over to him kneeled next to his face. I stroked his head, “Joe are you okay?” I was trying not to laugh. He nods and I look back up at Ben. He was staring at me, I held his gaze before talking to him. “You really did a number on him.”

“Ohh he’ll be fine.” He sits up a pats Joe’s shoulder, “Right buddy.” Joe takes his hands off his face and quickly sits up. As he sat up I could’ve sworn his face was red. The boys stand up and start to greet each other. I begin to clean up the mess from last night then head to the kitchen.

“Y/n Darling would you like to join us for breakfast?”

“Ben I told you she’s busy today-”

“I would love to go.” Joe looks surprised, but he doesn’t say anything else.

Pushing past the boys I walk around the house to gather all my stuff. “Y/n I’m gonna go start the car, speed it up!”

“I’m almost ready!!” I fixed my hair and applied some chapstick before heading towards the front door. Ben is still standing there and rush towards him.

“Are you ready?” I nod, “Oh okay.” Before I could walk past him, he grabs my hand. His confident stance faltered for a second, “Are you and Joe dating or something?”

I freeze and debate what I should tell him. I mean I have the biggest crush on Joe but we’ve never crossed that line.

“No, um we’re just friends.” He smiles and he doesn’t let go of my hand. “We should get going, wouldn’t want to keep him waiting.” Ben nods and closes the door behind us.

The walk to the car was silent and I refused to look at him. We see Joe waiting at the curb and I decide to sit in the back. In the car we begin to listen to Queen songs and none of us hesitate to sing along. At one point the boys stopped singing. I didn’t notice as I sang some of the highest notes. When the song was finished both of them were awestruck and they gave me an applause.

“I’ve never heard you sing like that, where did that come from?” I looked at Joe through the rear view mirror and shrug.

Not long after we were sitting eating breakfast. Ben sat himself next to me and Joe across from us.Ben’s arm was resting on the seat behind me and he was sitting pretty close. Joe didn’t appreciate the proximity and he would occasionally glare at him.

“Joe are you okay?” He looks surprised by the question, but begins to nod. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” I could tell he was lying but I thought it best to ask him later.

“So y/n, we’ve been doing all the taking, why don’t you tell me about yourself?” I look at Ben and I’m a little shocked by how close we were sitting.

“Well I uhh work in retail while studying to get my masters degree in business management.” He nods, I notice that his gaze never leaves my face and I couldn’t help but be a little intimidated. I look at Joe with a plead for help but his gaze was purely on Ben. “What do you plan on doing after?” The question caught me off guard, but I quickly recover and turn my attention back to Ben.

“Well I’ve been think of opening a jazz club, it would put my bachelors degree in music to good use.”

“That’s not what you said before-” “That sounds awesome, you know if you ever need a drummer just let me know.” I avoid eye contact with Joe and Ben and instead look at the table. “Oh, thanks for the offer, I’ll keep that in mind.”

We were all silent for a few seconds and I thought it would be best to leave the tension.

“Um I’m going to the bathroom excuse me,” as soon as Ben had gotten up from the booth I quickly made my way to the bathroom. I then turned and looked at myself in the mirror. I don’t understand Joe, I haven’t know him too long but right now he definetly wasn’t being himself. I couldn’t tell what was going through his head. After pacing for a bit I took a deep breath and made my way back to the boys.

Walking towards them, I made eye contact with Joe. I smiled and gave him a small wave. He waved back and for a that very short moment he seemed okay. Catching Ben’s gaze was different. His gaze was longing. I decided to smile towards him too and his face lit up just like before.

I’m not sure what they had said while I was gone but the dynamic of the group was different. Joe was more withdrawn but Ben stopped flitting. “Miss me?” I was trying to lighten the mood but both of them just laughed awkwardly.

Soon the conversation balanced out and we were talking about how the two became friends. Ben kept trying to show off and started becoming more flirtatious. Before we left the restaurant Joe had left to the bathroom.

“Y/n I’m really enjoying spending time with you.” I look at him and he suddenly avoids eye contact. He was being shy, it was cute. “Um here’s my number, we should hang out. Let me know if your free next week.”

“Thanks, I’ll have to check my work schedule but I would really like that.” His cheeks begin to flush and he meets my gaze. He looked excited, it actually made my heart skip a beat. I suddenly felt guilty for feeling this way. It was like I was betraying Joe, but we weren’t dating. I felt my stomach drop when he came back. I wanted to apologize but I hadn’t done anything wrong.

Once Joe was back they drove me home, so I was left in my apartment to analysis today’s events. Walking into the bathroom I drew a bath and as I was taking off my jeans a piece of paper with the number Ben had given me fell out of my pocket. I stared at it for a while before puting it away in a box.

Back in the bathroom I slowly stepped into the bath. That’s when I decided that I would tell Joe about my feelings. I was nervous just thinking about telling him, but the flutter of my heart when imagining a future together made it all worth while.