#I was also thinking of Stranger Things when I wrote this

[starvingnarcissistmusic]

Happy one year anniversary to In Stars And Time! tldr; i wrote a song about it. if you wanna skip all the gushing and just listen to it, click here. (spoilers for act 5) If not, behold this big rambly mess of a thing i wrote:

So funny story, I kind of wasn’t planning on releasing anything for the rest of the year. The album wore me out, and the only other idea I had sort of fell through, so I was content on just letting the album be the only thing of note I would make in 2024.

… and then, in September, I played a little RPG called In Stars And Time. beat the whole thing over the course of three days, then spent the next couple weeks ravenously consuming all the fan content I could get my hands on. my friends have been forced to stare at my siffrin pfp every day for two months straight at this point and frankly i think they are tired of me talking about it.

i love the art, i love the story, i love the music, i love the characters, i love the world. siffrin sort of immediately became one of my favorite protagonists like,, ever. and it definitely did not help that i am also a scrawny forgetful person who has to regularly fight off the part of my brain that convinces myself that All My Friends Secretly Hate Me.

I’ve never really been so called out by a character before. The spiraling, the deflection, and the agony of being a stranger to yourself. the yearning for something you cant even name, because how could you? you cant even find the words on your tongue. not being able to tell anyone how you feel because its just easier to live with it, easier to let it eat you from the inside out then to bother anybody else. its easier to keep the mask on, stick to your lines, let the show go on.

all that hit just a bit too close to home. so i did what I usually do When Things Hit and wrote about it.

(like i said, spoilers for Act 5; It’s pretty devoid of context but they’re spoilers nonetheless)

MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) is a song about cyclical burnout, self-estrangement, and homesickness. It’s half about Siffrin, half about me, but mostly it’s a rumination on loneliness and the hell that is the self.

Out now wherever you listen to music.

“How can you be homesick if nowhere is home?"

[steddieas-shegoes]

cw: mentions of scarring, canon-typical violence, flashback (not graphic), minor body horror (again, not graphic, mostly just emotional feelings about scars)

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

Everyone gave him weird looks when they walked in, quickly schooling their features when they noticed he was awake and watching them.

He didn’t know exactly what that was about.

They had him on a lot of good drugs.

But eventually he got weaned off them, and he noticed the pull of bandages on his side, and his arm, and his neck, and his face.

He was still unable to get out of bed. Still couldn’t even reach his arms above his chest for more than a few seconds.

But he damn sure reached up to feel the cloth and plastic surrounding his cheek. How had he not noticed for days? How had no one bothered him about it?

Maybe they had and he just didn’t notice. The morphine was one hell of a drug.

Wayne was soft, patient with him. Saw him touching it, saw the way his eyes filled with tears. He’d never been particularly vain, hadn’t cared much about what he looked like to others, but this felt bigger than that. This felt like he was changed in a way that everyone could see.

Add it to the list of things people could bully him for.

He cried himself to sleep, Wayne’s hand in his, silently comforting in the way he’d always done.

When he woke up again the next morning, he was alone.

It was the first time he’d been alone since the boathouse.

He could swear he heard bats outside his door, screams coming from the attached bathroom, flashes of someone dying on the ceiling.

He felt the sharp sting of teeth puncturing his skin.

He felt hopelessness creep into his bones as he gave in.

Maybe this time they would finish the job.

“Eddie!”

Steve Harrington’s voice broke through the thoughts, panicked enough to bring Eddie back to his hospital bed within a second of hearing it.

“Shit, are you okay?” He continued, hand brushing against Eddie’s bandaged cheek.

Eddie nodded once, closed his eyes, leaned into the touch.

He could blame it on any number of things if Steve felt weird about it. The morphine, the flashback, the loneliness.

“You’re okay, Eddie. I promise. Won’t let anything happen to you,” Steve whispered.

Eddie believed him.

He fell back asleep with Steve’s hand gently cupping the mangled side of his face.

If Steve could still touch him there, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

Steve came by every day, sometimes in the early morning, before visiting hours officially started, sometimes well after Wayne had left to get some sleep. He always smiled when he walked in, a genuine one, not the one everyone else gave that was so fully of pity and pain he couldn’t bear to make eye contact. He sat down on the side of the bed, not the chair like everyone else, not scared to be close.

And every single day, without fail, he would run his finger along the edge of Eddie’s bandage on his face, watching his own movements and cataloging any changes.

Eddie sat quietly, still, scared to put words to anything happening. Scared to tell Steve what it meant to him to have someone acknowledge his pain in this way. Scared to think Steve could mean anything by it.

It was easy to pretend Steve was doing this because he cared.

Maybe he did care.

But he didn’t care the way Eddie wanted him to, needed him to.

So he stayed quiet, still.

He watched.

He fell asleep while Steve talked about his day, the kids, what Joyce made Hopper do around the house.

He woke up alone most days, but that was okay, because Steve would be there eventually.

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

“You ready to get that thing off?” Wayne asked, gesturing to the bandage.

“Oh. Today?” Eddie suddenly didn’t want to ever be without the bandage. Removing it meant he’d see what was under it.

It meant seeing how much that place had ruined him.

The pull of the stitches hadn’t been as obvious with the pull of the bandage masking it.

But now it’s all he felt.

The nurse smiled at him as she put some antibiotic cream over the area, saying he would probably still have to keep it extra clean for the next week or so while the stitches did their job.

Wayne smiled at him in the way that meant he didn’t really want to smile at all, but knew Eddie needed him to.

Steve didn’t come.

Eddie didn’t sleep.

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

He woke up with panic in his chest and a silent scream in his throat.

He woke up with Steve’s hand on his face.

Gentle, soft, but a strong comfort.

“Promise I washed them first. They said we have to be careful about germs,” Steve said quietly.

“You don’t have to. I know it’s…it’s gross. It’s ugly. I’m ugly.”

Steve shook his head. “No. Not gross. Not ugly. Alive.”

“Steve-“

“You’re alive, Eddie. You could have your entire face held together by staples and you would still be a miracle. You’d still be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Well, Steve’s charm wasn’t an exaggeration, was it?

He wasn’t even sure if the skin barely pulled together could blush anymore, or if the heat that should be on his cheek was burning on the outside the way it felt like it was on the inside.

“It’s gonna be awful when it heals. I saw it in the mirror.” Eddie could feel every stitch in his jaw, the few that spread across the corner of his mouth and bottom lip, the ones that were nearly up to his ear. “I’ll always have a crooked face. The scar will always be huge. It’s all anyone will see.”

“Then they aren’t looking.”

Eddie bit his lip, eyes searching Steve’s. “But you are.”

“No. I’m seeing. There’s a difference. I see you. I see what you’ve survived. I see the mark it left on you. I know it wasn’t just the scars that cover your skin.” Steve leaned his head down, touching Eddie’s forehead with his own. “We all have them. And we’re all still here. Your heart’s beating. That’s all that matters to me.”

“Who knew you were so good with words?” Eddie smiled sadly.

“Robin says I’m just good at not having a filter.”

“She’s right as always.” Eddie wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist, turning as slowly as he could to kiss his palm. “You’re not scared of it.”

“No. Are you?”

“I’m scared that you’ll change your mind when it’s always there as a reminder of what happened.”

Steve kissed his nose, making him smile for the first time in what felt like years.

“I’ll have the reminder that I got you out of there. That no matter what, the bats couldn’t finish the job. That you were stronger and you made it.” Steve let his hand drop, but quickly laced his fingers with Eddie’s. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you to trust me, but will you? For today?”

“Just today?”

“I’ll ask again tomorrow.”

“And what? Every day after that?”

Steve smirked.

His eyes were glistening with tears, but Eddie could tell it wasn’t sadness or fear.

“If that’s what I have to do.”

They hadn’t even talked about feelings, not really. Nothing that made any sense to Eddie, nothing that they could define. A part of Eddie was still convinced he was in a coma and dreaming this entire conversation up.

But even the nurse had noticed the way Steve watched him, how he touched him, how he fought for him. She said he’d been a firecracker from the moment he carried him into the hospital, dripping blood on the tile, staining the halls with his demands for help.

Wayne said he barely left his side the first day, only doing so when the doctors had told him they would call the cops if he didn’t.

Erica even noticed how things had changed between them, stating that she refused to watch her babysitter and the only DM she had respect for make out.

But Steve held Eddie, made him feel like he could get out of the hospital bed and live a life that wouldn’t keep him running. Steve was there.

Steve might even love him. If not now, then some day.

And Eddie could trust him today.

He could probably trust him tomorrow.

“Kiss me?” Eddie probably shouldn’t. The stitches tugged when he talked, and another mouth anywhere near his wounds was just asking for an infection.

But Steve would be careful. He knew what Eddie could handle.

It was barely a kiss. A graze of the lips at most.

But it was the best kiss Eddie had ever had.

At least until tomorrow.

[strawberrybyers]

STOP IF WILL IS WITH MIKE AND EL AT THE RADIO STATION PLACE AND THE STRANGER THINGS BROADCAST CHANNEL POSTED BOOKS ABOUT ELECTRICITY AND LIGHTS AND RADIOS WHICH I WROTE IN A POST ABOUT HERE AND ONE OF THE BUILDINGS THEY’RE FILMING AT IS CALLED 5000 WATTS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT WHICH HAS TO DO WITH LIGHTING AND WILL WAS ABLE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO COMMUNICATE FROM THE UPSIDE DOWN WITH LIGHTS AND GOING BACK TO S2 THEY USED THE RADIO TO PLAY MUSIC TO COMMUNICATE WITH WILL AND WE KNOW MUSIC PLAYS A BIG ROLE IN BEING PROTECTED BY VECNA AND EL CAN ALSO COMMUNICATE WITH RADIO FREQUENCIES AND SOMEHOW ALL THIS TIES INTO MIKE BEING THERE TO SAVE WILL ONCE AGAIN AND THAT LEADS TO BYLER ENDGAME

[psychotic-nonsense]

Steddie Week Day 4: Trade / Body swap

------- it starts off super rough, warning for suicidal thoughts/intent and brief descriptions of gore -------

Steve is going to die.

He went to his room for privacy. His thoughts have gotten so loud lately, headaches so deep he can hardly see, and he just needed a moment to breathe.

But then he went to sit on his bed, and fell straight through it into the Upside Down.

Panicked, Steve had scrambled to get up. A hand had reached down to help, and without thinking, he grabed it.

Then he recoiled with how cold and rotten it felt. He looked up to face its owner, and was met with Barbara Holland. Half eaten, swollen faced, glossy eyed, dead Barbara.

When he tried to crawl away from her, two hands reached down to forcefully haul him up from the ground. Hands that were soaking wet, filling the thick air with an equally suffocating metallic stench. As soon as Steve regained his footing, he whirled around and backed away from the moving corpses.

It's Billy Hargrove. Bloody, beaten, black veined Hargrove, skinny from the chunks taken out of his torso and swaying with the imbalance of it.

They began speaking, bemoaning in their haunting voices how he let them die and left them to rot, Steve the Hero running like the true coward he was. The forest came alive with the chittering of Demobats, underneath it all an unrelenting mantra. I told you to make him pay, why did I have to pay in his stead, you didn't even kill him, you lost you lost you lost and I died for nothing-

And Steve didn't hear anymore. Because he ran.

He's being Cursed, no one knows it, and he's going to die.

No matter how far he runs, the forest gets no smaller, the calls of animal and ghost alike getting no quieter. He strains, runs though he can't breathe, crying out for help. But all that does is worsen the voices. Calling him a failure, selfish, why does he get to live, why did they have to die-

Steve loses his footing. Skids forward over the rough ground further than he should, unable to stop. Then his feet fall over a sudden ledge and he isn't slowing down and his clawing hands are barely able to catch a stray hanging branch before he's dangling over a cliffside.

His breaths are heaving, and his hands tense hard to keep hold of the branch. He knows he shouldn't but the creature sounds have only gotten louder, so he looks down.

Hundreds of feet down it's a rolling mess of black vines, dark smoke, and demo-creatures. They're all lunging for him, their snarls and screeches mixing with the ghostly moans, urging him to just give in submit fall.

A sudden crack breaks through the mess of sound. Steve turns back around, sees the rock holding up his branch begin to splinter, and he's going to die.

In between his desperate panting, words fall out. Words he means that no one who matters will ever hear. "I'm-I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Dustin, Nancy... R-Robin, Barb, Hargrove... I should- should've been more... I'm sorry, I can't-" He's cracking, the last of his desperation crumbling with the further breaks in the rocks. "I can't do it, I'm not... I'm not Max- Max, I'm sorry..." And as the cracks grow and his fingers slip, the tears finally fall. "I'm s-sorry, Ed... Eddie, I'm so sorry... It should've been me..."

And at the same time the crack finishes its journey, Steve lets go.

Everything quiets. Everything goes slow. It's almost freeing, knowing it's all going to be over, even though the terrified faces of his family flash through his head with every tear that falls. He doesn't want it to be over, he wants to live... but what right does he have-

Someone's calling out his name. A voice that gets his eyes to open, shocked at the blatant fear and desperation in it. Someone's falling right behind him, before him, reaching out for him.

Eddie. Eddie Munson. With all the same terror and need and pleading eyes that Steve remembers.

Steve automatically reaches back, shock urging him to beg just once more, somehow catching Eddie's hand. Immediately, he's crushed to Eddie's chest. Arms hold him tight, hands clenching hard at Steve's clothes.

Eddie feels real. Breathes and sobs like he's real. Warmth pulses through his clothes like he's real. Each brush of skin feels solid and soft and desperate and real.

So Steve holds him back. Tight, desperate to not lose him in their fall, no matter how real this may be. Shoves his face into Eddie's shoulder and closes his eyes and feels.

At least he won't go alone... At least in the end, he's not alone...

And then, like an electric shock, the world wakes up with noise. A familiar voice invades his senses, lamenting about a Mr. Crowley, as the world lights up in pure bright white behind his eyes-

Then another shock and he's gasping for air, falling from his suspension onto his bed and rolling off onto the floor.

Steve heaves, trying to regain his senses. The voices of his family surround him, echoing in his delirium, worried and scared. He breathes deep, attempting to respond... but his own voice beats him to it.

He finally opens his eyes, looking up from the ground he was kneeling over. There's no one around him, he's alone in his room.

His room that looks vaguely... fuzzy. And, come to think of it, uncomfortably wrong. There's a large mirror that rests opposite his bed that's now on the wrong wall, and the reflection is clearer than his own surroundings.

Except it's less of a reflection, and more of a portal. Through it, he sees his own body, sitting where Steve is kneeling, and staring at his hands. Shock and confusion is evident in every tremble of his fingers, and this reflection doesn't respond when someone says Steve's name.

There's something about it that feels familiar, a presence that Steve has longed to feel again for months. Steve unconsciously copies the reflection's position, and reaches out unsteadily. He wants to grab what he sees, catch the eye of it at the very least, just to know this is real like it was before.

Then another shock travels through his body, but this time, it lands hard in his fingertips and temples. He recoils sharply, face tensing up with a groan of pain.

But to this, his family reacts. Steve's eyes go wide, and he's suddenly met with reality. No fuzzy surroundings, with everyone right beside him. He shakes his shocked hand, rubs it, watches it flex and move just to convince himself. The presence from before is still there, but stronger now, like the person is right beside him.

He remembers the mirror, looks over at it, and freezes.

The others take notice, look at it too. Then they're freaking out, asking if anyone else can see it too, because it can't be real. Yet to Steve, it feels so so real.

The mirror reflects the room, but wrong. Fuzzy, without the others who are present. Where Steve's reflection should be isn't Steve. It's Eddie.

Dressed the same as he was in his final moments. Eyes as wide as the night they first found him. And that presence - the one Steve only felt during an Upside Down walk, at the front of a winnebago, in front of a trailer covered in vines - no longer feels like its beside Steve. Rather, like it's nestled right inside his heart, his brain.

Like Eddie's sharing the space there with Steve.

[findafight]

Actually very funny when jncies say jncy does things/has a dynamic that canonically, stancy did or were like and jncy canonically doesn’t. Like it’s wild. I see you and I see your brain overheating because you want Nancy in a relationship with someone who treats her and looks at her and dreams about a future with her like Steve did and does, but you’ve dug yourself so far into a stancy hating hole that you have to invent reasons that don’t make sense and a relationship that jncy simply isn’t in order to avoid shipping stancy. Sad.

[kazhan]

Let's talk about Karen

You know what, fuck it, I want to talk about Karen Wheeler.

More specifically, I’d like to talk about the Duffers’ and, as a result, the fandom’s treatment of Karen Wheeler.

What does Karen do in the show again?

First of all, let’s note that Karen appears in every episode in season 1, and in 5 episodes in season 2, 3 and 4, with very little to basically non-existent lines of dialogue in most of those episodes. 

In the first episode of season one, her first appearance is her telling the kids to end their game because it’s a school night and they can finish this weekend. Later in the episode, Will Byers has gone missing and Mike wants to go looking for him, Karen insists he needs to stay home and tells Nancy the same when she asks if she can go out, she also scolds Nancy when she gets upset because she can’t go out “just because Will is missing”.

Ted barely participates/helps, and Karen “hopes he’s enjoying his chicken”, she leaves the room, clearly upset for not getting much backup from her husband.  

In episode 2, Karen is being supportive, letting Mike stay home because he “doesn’t feel well”, she tells him he can talk to her about anything, not to hide things from her, that she’s here for him. 

When Nancy asks to go to the gathering at school for Will, she tells her to be back at 10pm. 

When Nancy gets home much later in episode 3, Karen was up and waiting for her, she is upset, worried, and says Nancy should have called, then she starts asking questions about the sweatshirt Nancy is wearing, and telling her Nancy can talk to her, “whatever happened”, Nancy insists nothing happened and it’s pretty obvious Karen doesn’t believe her and is extremely worried, she looks on the verge of tears as Nancy goes to her room.

Later, Karen visits Joyce with Holly, to bring her food. She is gentle, reassuring, she asks about Jonathan, tells her that if Joyce needs anything, they’re here for her, etc… When Joyce starts acting weird and insisting Holly tell her what she saw in the wall, Karen tries to tell her to calm down, then leaves when told to.

At the end of the episode, Will’s (fake) body is dragged out of the quarry and Mike rushes home, where he runs to Karen for comfort, thinking he just lost his friend.

Episode 4 shows Karen looking extremely saddened by the news of Will’s death, but also very worried for her son, she tries to cheer him up and help him change his mind, and lets him stay home to get some rest, reminding him to call his dad at work if he needs to. 

We then see her sitting next to Nancy while the cops interrogate her about Barb’s disappearance, Karen doesn’t say a word during that scene, but her and Nancy start arguing the moment they get home because Karen knows Nancy lied to the cops, she is visibly worried and upset Nancy did this, and the conversation moves on to what really happened that night: Nancy admits she actually slept with Steve, but it doesn’t matter because Barb is missing and no one is listening to her. Karen says she is, Nancy says “no, you’re not” and goes to her room, leaving an anguished Karen behind. 

Karen appears at Will’s funeral in episode 5, with her children and to show Joyce support.

In episode 6, Ted wonders why Nancy still hasn’t come down to eat with them, and Karen goes to check on her. After getting no answer at all, she lockpicks the door to find that Nancy is gone.

Next, in episode 7, Karen is on the phone with Steve’s parents because she knows “she and Steve have been spending some time together”, she keeps getting interrupted by Mike, but she asks if Steve is home, probably to ask him if he knows where Nancy might be. 

Later, Karen is in the basement and finds El’s little den and a piece of blond hair from her wig when the people from the lab and Brenner show up, and immediately start feeding Karen and Ted lies about how this girl their son may have been hiding in their home is dangerous (Ted laughs at the thought of Mike being around a girl, while Karen very much looks like she understood from what she found earlier than it might be true), Karen asks what this girl did, she is obviously (again) very worried for Mike, and Brenner uses this, telling her that her son is “in grave danger��� but they’ll save him, if only she can tell them where he might be. 

In the next scene, Karen says they should be out there, looking for Mike, but Ted insists that they should let the government people do their job, because they’re obviously “on their side”. Karen points out that this man (Brenner) gives her the creeps, and asks if Ted thinks Nancy might be involved in all this. Ted assures her there’s no way. 

We should be out there looking for our son; Ted: they’re govt people, we need to trust them; Karen: this man (Brenner) gives me the creeps, thinks Nancy might be involved into all this; Ted: no way

In the last episode, after everything is over, Karen and Ted rush to the school, Karen clearly scared. She embraces Mike, crying, relieved. She is then seen at the hospital where they wait to hear from Will, and finally in the epilogue, where she tells Jonathan to wish Joyce a Merry Christmas.

So. What does season 1 tell us about Karen Wheeler?

Season 1 Karen is a housewife, a mother who is worried about the safety of her children (something she will keep showing throughout the entirety of the show). A child goes missing and she wants her own to stay home, her son’s best friend goes missing and is later found dead and she is shown trying to reach out, to comfort him. We also see her offering Joyce the same comfort and sympathy.

When it comes to Nancy, we are also shown a concerned mother, someone who is watching her daughter go puberty, start showing interest in boys and lying to her mother about where she’s going and what she’s doing. She is upset at times, but she is mostly worried and desperately trying to reach out, to remind Nancy that she is here for here, whatever happened. 

We can also see that Ted isn’t the most helpful husband, we always see Karen taking care of the kids while Ted is watching TV or reading the newspaper. We never see them being affectionate and it seems pretty obvious (especially after what Nancy says about her parents) that they probably got married because it was convenient, not because they were in love. 

Karen is also pretty observant: she knows when Nancy is lying at least twice, she makes the connection between the piece of hair from the wig she found and her son actually hiding El in their basement, she notices Brenner’s vibes were off, and she wonders if Nancy might be involved in the same mess Mike is (which, she is). 

In season 2, in episode 1, Karen punishes Mike for stealing from Nancy and being overall rude and misbehaving for months, she states that she knows he’s had a rough year and they’ve been patient, but enough is enough. 

We don’t really see Karen much after that, she only makes very short appearances until episode 9, where we see her relaxing in her bath while reading a romance novel when Billy shows up. She is obviously flustered by his looks, and Billy immediately starts flirting with her, stating he “didn’t know Nancy had a sister”, which flusters Karen even more. Billy says he’s been “worried sick” about his sister Max who’s been missing all day, and that he figured she might be here. Karen invites him in, gives him the Byers’ address and tells him to be careful, then very obviously ogles him as Billy leaves. 

There isn’t much to say about season 2 Karen, as she barely appears and her longest scene is the one she has in episode 9 with Billy. Before that, we only see her acting the same way she was in season 1, parenting her children—or trying to—and receiving very little help and support from her husband.

On to season 3. In episode 1, Karen is at the swimming pool, sunbathing with other moms while reading another romance novel, when they get all excited because it’s “show time”. Music starts playing, slow mo Billy comes out in his bathing suit and sunglasses, looking hot as hell, and the housewives all oggle him. He compliments Karen on her new bathing suit, which obviously pleases her.

Next, we see her swimming, and Billy’s now the one ogling her, he then approaches her, starts flirting, and ends up inviting her to meet him at a motel for “private lessons”. 

Towards the end of the episode, Karen is getting ready to meet Billy, she looks at her wedding ring, hesitates, then takes it off. She goes downstairs, where she pauses before leaving, and looks at Ted asleep on his armchair, with Holly asleep on him. It’s obvious from her expression that she will not go have an affair with Billy.

When we see Karen again in episode 2, she is back at the pool with the other housewives, but she clearly looks uncomfortable. When she sees Billy, she goes find him and tries to explain herself, the exchange goes like this:

“I… I understand if you’re angry with me. I just… I wanted to explain… why I didn’t come last night. It’s not you, it’s just… I have a family. And I can’t do anything that will hurt them. You understand that, right? But I shouldn’t have said that…” (She is interrupted as Billy has some sort of vision of himself bashing her head against a shelf) “Billy… please, will you talk to me?”

“Stay away from me Karen.”

Karen appears next in episode 4, after Nancy got fired. They have a heartfelt conversation, where Karen tells her that “it’s not easy out there Nance, people saying you can’t, shouldn’t, that you’re not smart enough, not good enough. This world, it… beats you up again and again, until most people just stop trying. But you’re not like that, you’re a fighter, you always have been.” She says she doesn’t know where Nancy got it from, Nancy jokes “Dad” and they both laugh, then Nancy says “I get it from you, Mom.” Karen is very emotional, and tells Nancy she’s proud of her for standing up for herself, and that if she believes in this story, she should finish it.  

We don’t see Karen until episode 7, where she is at the 4th of July parade/fair with Ted and Holly. Joyce and Hopper find them and ask if they know where the kids are and Karen admits she doesn’t, she doesn’t think they’re here yet. She starts listing off where the kids have been today and then says she can hardly keep track these days, and it’s summer after all. 

Finally, in episode 8, she comforts Mike after the Byers and El move out of Hawkins.

Season 3 Karen is once again trying to be a supportive mother, and we see her struggling even more with her marriage, even going as far as considering cheating on Ted with Billy before she remembers that she can’t do anything that would hurt her family. 

In season 4, Karen doesn’t appear much either, we see her in episode 1 telling Mike to be home by 9pm because he has an early flight to California the next day, we don’t see her again until episode 5 where she is making breakfast for the kids and says she thinks it’s sweet that they’re sticking together, Ted makes a rude comment about having freeloaders, to which Karen says that they’re always welcome here. 

In episode 6, Karen is horrified by Patrick’s death, she goes to the town gathering like the other parents and looks worried during Jason’s speech, she and the others rush home to look for their children who “should have been back by now” as she thought they were at the cinema. Erica says that they’ve clearly been lied to, and Karen calls the police. 

She is here in episode 7 when the cops interrogate the kids, but she doesn’t really say much, and is only shown running outside when the kids leave, looking worried. 

In the epilogue of episode 9, she is sorting clothes to give away, she doesn’t believe the whole “gate to hell” story they’re talking about on the news, and when Mike comes home, she rushes to hug him and says he’s “never going on vacation again, in fact you can forget about college”.

I feel like a broken record, but… well, season 4 Karen is once again trying to be a good mom, and worrying about her kids. 

Phew. Now that we’ve established all of Karen’s appearances and actions throughout the show, let’s finally get to the reasons why I’m writing this whole thing, yeah? 

Karen Wheeler is a good mom, actually

For the Duffers, Karen Wheeler is nothing more than a housewife and mother in a teen movie, her character doesn't exist beyond fulfilling those roles. Her children live in a horror/monster hunter movie, so do other adult characters like Joyce and Hopper, but Karen doesn’t. Her world is normal, she has normal problems: her husband is boring and unhelpful, her two oldest children are acting up and lying to her about things she can only assume are very normal. 

Karen doesn’t know about the Upside Down because the Duffers don’t want her to. She doesn’t know what her children are really going through because they are lying to her, and because the Duffers don’t want her to. 

Stranger Things only works if there are no parents to get in the way of the children’s adventures. Joyce and Hopper are busy living their own; Dustin’s mom, Lucas and Erica’s parents, Max’s mom and Neil all ignore what is really going on with their children, they are as clueless as Karen is when it comes to where the kids are and what they’re up to, we just see them less than Karen; we don’t even see Steve or Robin’s parents because they wouldn’t bring anything to the story and would only be more obstacles the Duffers would have to get rid of. 

So, considering how we’ve seen Karen behave with her children, and how the scenario is literally forbidding her from ever finding out about what is truly going on, I think it’s really, really unfair when people say she is a bad mom.

In fact, I’ll even go as far as to say that Karen is the best mom in Stranger Things. 

She’s here for her children, she comforts Mike and Nancy when they need, she has told them both multiple times that they can talk to her, she worries about them, and the whole “she doesn’t even know where they are” thing is just bullshit. This happens once, in season 3, it’s the only time where she admits she isn’t sure where they are, and even then, she lists off where she knows (or thinks she knows) they’ve been during the day. In season 2, when Dustin demands to know where Mike and Nancy are and Ted asks Karen because he has no fucking idea, Karen has an answer for both of them. 

Yes, the answers are incorrect, but it’s not her fault both her children are lying to her. 

I think it’s even more unfair—and extremely biased—when people also compare her to Joyce and make it sound like Joyce is the perfect mom while Karen is, if not the worst, not far from it. 

I love Joyce, she is an amazing character, but she is also a hot mess who is barely there for Jonathan throughout the show. Hell, when Karen asks her how Jonathan is doing in season 1—the first thing she asks her by the way—Joyce says that “he’s good at taking care of himself, always has been, you know?” which… well. Sure. He’s also sixteen and his little brother has gone missing and his mom is (in his eyes) losing her mind, you know? 

I’m not here to put Joyce on trial, like I said, I love her character and she is doing the best she can considering her situation and everything that’s happening to her, but she is also deeply flawed and tends to get tunnel vision. She is the one who asks Karen where their kids are in season 3 because she has no idea, she’s also the one who literally abandons her kids and El (who definitely needs all the support she can get) to go to Russia to save Hopper in season 4.

Again, I don’t want to pit those two characters against each other for Mom of the Year, my goal is simply to point out that Joyce, who is often described as The Perfect Mom, is far from being perfect, and Karen, who is often described as The Worst Mom, is… actually mostly doing what a mom should do? 

Yeah, yeah, I know.

But what about Billy?

Let’s go back to how the Duffers treat Karen, shall we?

The season 2, episode 9 scene with Billy is filmed in a funny, even (in my opinion) mocking way. Karen is shown reading a romance novel in her bath, and the man on the cover is very much meant to remind people of Billy: light hair, mullet, strong muscled guy. Karen is clearly flustered the moment she sees him, and we are meant to understand that it’s like this character she was just reading about (and probably fantasizing about) just materialized in front of her. And then Billy immediately starts flirting, and Karen is obviously pleased, she plays along, etc. 

Now, when I look at this scene, my first thought isn’t “ew, she’s ogling a child”, because… well, she isn’t. 

Let me explain. 

The Duffers hired a 23 years old actor to play Billy Hargrove. That is not uncommon, in fact it’s pretty much the norm in most TV shows/movies, and in Stranger Things too. 16-18yo teenagers are very rarely if ever played by actors below 20, but Billy is definitely the one that stands out the most among the teens in season 2, Joe Keery looks more like a teenager despite being older than Dacre Montgomery who has the stubble and body of a guy in his twenties. When I look at season 2 Billy Hargrove, I don’t think “this is a 17yo teenager”, and I’m ready to bet that I’m not the only one. 

Billy doesn’t look like a teenager, because the actor playing him isn’t, and that is the only reason why the Duffers were able to film this scene, and the ones later in season 3.

If Billy had been played by a 17-18yo actor who thus had looked like a 17yo teenager, they never would have been able to make this scene the way it is. They would have been forced to change the tone of the scene entirely, either to completely ridiculous because we’d have seen some kid flirting with a grown-ass woman whose only possible reaction would have been to be like “cute, alright, moving on,” and see right through him; or to indeed make it very predatory, with Karen ogling a teenage boy. 

That was not the intent behind the scene. The intent was to show bored, lonely and horny housewife Karen getting flirted with by a hot young man because they thought it’d be funny. The intent was to objectify said hot young man because they thought it’d be different from what we usually see and make them seem very smart. 

And yeah, this is making fun of Karen. It’s making fun of her loneliness, of her reading romance novels and imagining a thrilling romance for herself, a young, muscular young man showing up to save her from boredom. The Duffers didn’t give a shit about the fact that Billy is 17, so of course Karen, their character, doesn’t.

In season 3, the same intent is there, but multiply it by 100 and just make everything worse. Karen is once again reading a romance novel and her and the other housewives have such boring lives that a young hot lifeguard showing up for his shift is literally the highlight of their day, one they know the timing of; we get the slow mo, the music, the bottom lip biting, everything is there to once again objectify a man because they’re so smart and pro-women being horny, vive le féminisme! 

Anyway, Billy flirts with her, very obviously invites her to have sex with him, she agrees, then changes her mind when she realizes the consequences having an affair could have on her children.

Karen isn’t only made fun of for being a lonely, bored housewife who reads romance novels to escape the reality of her dead romantic and sex life, she is also made to give up on something that made her feel alive, desired, beautiful, to “be a good mother”. Now, I’m not saying that it would have been more “yass girl feminism won” to have her sleep with a guy twenty years younger than her, but… I just find it interesting, you know. She stops being sexual to be a good mother, and fandom decides to ignore/forget/erase all the good things she did as a mother because the way she expressed said sexuality was morally wrong.

Yeah, morally wrong. Because nothing she did was illegal. Even if she had slept with Billy in season 3, it wouldn’t have been illegal. Billy is 18 by then, he’s flirting with her, propositioning her, hell, he’s totally ogling her when she’s swimming, he was also the first one to flirt in season 2, etc. Now, yes, the morally good thing to do would have been to gently let him down in season 2, that’s what should happen in real life.

But Stranger Things isn’t real life, and neither of those scenes are meant to reflect real life. They’re the Duffers having fun, putting their own teenage fantasies of Having Sex With a Mom in their show.

“But the Duffers being a bunch of idiots doesn’t change what Karen did/almost did”. No, it doesn’t. Just like thinking the Duffers are idiots for trying to make Billy a one-dimensional villain who is racist for shock value instead of ever trying to say anything actually valuable about the racism faced by Lucas doesn’t change the fact that Billy said something racist about him to Max. 

And yet, people are quick to jump to Billy’s defense, to make up headcanons, to completely ignore canon, to write posts and posts about how it was out of worry about Max and not really against Lucas (I’m not debating this here, I’m just stating what is being done for Billy) and I see no one doing the same for Karen.

Why? Why is one character butchered by her creators’ misogyny considered an irredeemable monster, subjected to the worst vitriol from a portion of the fandom, when another character, made to say something racist and attack Lucas by his creators’ because “we need to show he’s really bad”, forgiven and rewritten to be better? 

Why is canon ignored for one, and not the other? 

I’m not saying you should be all fine and happy while watching those scenes, in fact, I think it’s good they actually upset people. What I’m asking is why are people more mad at Karen herself than they are at the Duffers’, why I never see people outraged at how her character was used and mocked in those scenes, why no one is writing fix-its for Karen and instead further mocking her and treating her like crap? 

What I’m asking is: why the double standard? 

[gayofthefae]

Throwback to(last week) when I tried to decipher Mike's inner monologue from his playlist but just ended up feeling really depressed and kinda nauseous when I got to the season 4 songs.

Say what you will, but they captured his pov in that playlist 😭

[jonathanbyersphd]

Can y'all believe that Taylor Swift wrote Midnight Rain about St*ncy?

[toothmarqed]

fallen prey to saying stupid shit on the internet without thinking and coming off as incredibly rude and insensitive. i feel sick to my stomach. never commenting on anything else ever again. deserve to be squashed under someone’s shoe and ground into powder. in all seriousness this has shocked me so much that i am quitting every platform but tumblr for however long it takes for me to get some sense knocked into my dumb fucking skull

[seoafin]

I just need to tell you how much I love your writing. Especially how you write the mc bc it’s so angsty and beautifully crafted where every word is gut wrenching and makes me want to read more. In a way I relate to mc when I’m in my angsty moods 😭. I just love that they feel complex and have some sort of internal struggle. And despite the boys obvious affection for them, they’re too in their own head and drowning in their own insecurities that they can’t see it. And I LOVE IT!!

But anyhow love your writing! I hope you’re doing well on this fine evening ^_^

omg stopppppppppppppp everyone is being so nice to me today im screaming into the void rn YOU ARE VERY VERY SWEET THANK YOU!!!!

[evil-ontheinside]

Since I've seen a few recently (I wrote this a while ago so that's not quite true anymore), is this a good time to say that I also had a role swap au (as in: El -> Will -> Mike -> El) in my wips for a few months now? I'm probably never gonna write it but I do love my ideas for it

[keeps-ache]

ooo that's minty babyyy

[ms-demeanor]

Wait, so you said that you can learn to trust others by building friendships, but how does one go about doing that? Wouldn't someone I don't know be creeped out or annoyed if I suddenly walked up and started talking to them?

Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.

It takes a long time to make friends as an adult. People will probably think you're weird if you just walk up and start talking to them as though you are already their friend (people think it's weird when I do this, I try not to do this) but people won't think it's weird if you're someone they've seen a few times who says "hey" and then gradually has more conversations (consisting of more words) with them.

I cheat at forming adult friendships by joining groups where people meet regularly. If you're part of a radio club that meets once a week and you just join up to talk about radios, eventually those will be your radio friends.

If there's a hiking meetup near you and you go regularly, you will eventually have hiking friends.

Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction; if you go camping with your radio friend, that person is probably more friend than acquaintance. If you go to the movies with a hiking friend who likes the same horror movies as you do, that is deepening the friendship.

In, like 2011 Large Bastard decided he wanted more friends to do stuff with so he started a local radio meetup. These people started as strangers who shared an interest. Now they are people who give each other rides after surgery and help each other move and have started businesses together and have gone on many radio-based camping trips and have worked on each other's cars.

Finding a meetup or starting a meetup is genuinely the cheat-code for making friends.

This is also how making friendships at schools works - you're around a group of people very regularly and eventually you get to know them better and you start figuring out who you get along with and you start spending more time with those people.

If you want to do this in the most fast and dramatic way possible, join a band.

In 2020 I wrote something of a primer on how to turn low-stakes interactions with neighbors and acquaintances into more meaningful relationships; check the notes of this post over the next couple days, I'll dig up the link and share it in a reblog.

[seiwas]

omg i ran out of tags 😭 sorry for being so extra op 😭

but i just!! love the development he's had and how he no longer thinks about just himself and is starting to think about a life with you 🥺

your pacing in the bits that say 'he's so in love with you' and 'he likes you so so much' is immaculate!!!! truly felt that deep in my core and idk how you do it 😭 your writing truly has Magic!!!

and the end bit!! with october and the ring 😭 it just brings me back to their conversation: 'why grow something you're going to let go of' (or smth) and how maybe he's an answer to that :--( that!! the love has grown and both of them will have to let go but!! the fact is that the love has grown!! and it's there!! and it's the journey to that 🥺 idk i could be rambling but!!

op!! this is just truly!! thank you for writing this 🥺 i don't even know how to fully express how much i love your works!! i'll be thinking about this for a while, just like i think about all the other works of you're i've loved for a while 🥹

pairing : nanami kento/reader

rating : M tags : Strangers to Lovers, the butterflies are a metaphor, Caretaker Nanami, stalking mention, Soft Nanami Kento, vanilla sex, Nanami is a closet romantic i stand by that, bonding over reading and not talking about feelings

summary:

this never factored into his plan; meeting you is completely incidental. then again, isn't everything?

chaos theory (wc 4500) - ao3 mirror

[alienjaes]

Still thinking about the group of randos I played a game with the other night, and just how Human it felt. (Long think-thonk below)

One of my close friends asked me to play a game with him since it had been a while, and for the first few waves it was just us. Then some randoms started to trickle in, and we all had a great time surviving together.

But it's the camaraderie that developed that really struck me. Like, I wasn't on voice with anyone (even my friend) so it was all text-based, with my friend and I talking the most. But the sense of "these people are all my friends, and I want to protect them" despite knowing much of anything about them was so visceral it makes me happy and sad to think about.

Like this one player, they were the same character as I was, so our emotes had the same voice lines. Between every wave, we started emoting at each other, crouching and jumping, a sort of platonic intimacy between gamers if you will. And I felt this closeness with all of them.

Someone takes a long time buying something while everyone else leaves? I will wait with them, because I care about them as much as I care about my friend, and I will stick with them so they survive.

Someone gets separated from the group? I will risk my life to go to them and make sure they stay alive, because they are so incredibly important to me despite knowing so little about them.

When we win a particularly difficult wave with just one person surviving, I feel this incredible wash of pride in all of them, knowing we tried our best.

I had to leave for dinner after only an hour and some with these people, and I genuinely felt sad about it, because they were so dear to me that it hurt to say goodbye.

I've always had these feelings when I play games with randoms - if we are in the game together, you are my friend, even if we're on opposing teams.

This time though, it felt so much more real, everything was heightened to the point of being almost too much. It felt so Human to feel that closeness within the group.

I can't say if anyone else felt anything close to what I did, since most of them never spoke a word, but i'll never forget them, especially the person with the same character as me.

[secretsandwriting]

heyyyy ryyyyy <333

since ur requests are open i thought id go ahead and ask if you're mayhaps open to anything for batmom? i don't have a completely solid idea but maybe smn like batmom has been getting threats or maybe hate or smn from somebody and everyone's reactions and how they get hella protective?

obv no pressure and you definitely do not have to write this

hope you have a great day bb

Heyyyyy, so this grew hands and wrote itself, I hope you enjoy it. It did end up with a lot of backstory.

Earned Position

5.3k words

You knew this would happen. Once your relationship with Bruce got out there would be an influx of love and hate. You also knew that everyone else knew that as well. It was common knowledge than anyone around a celebrity of sorts would experience that. 

Of course you did the normal things, turned off most notifications and only looked through areas online you knew would mostly be safe. You blocked tags and and only followed people you knew or ones who didn’t post about drama. 

When you did stumble onto hate, you moved on. If someone kept sending you nasty messages you blocked them, when they made other accounts to keep sending the same things, you changed your settings so only those you followed could message you. 

It wasn’t something you wanted to deal with but it was something you could handle. Something you started mentally preparing yourself for when Bruce’s attention on you lasted more than 4 dates, even more so when you caught yourself daydreaming about him.

You were not going to let random bitter people on the internet destroy your happiness like they did their own. Your family however, wanted to destroy what was left of your haters' happiness. Something you were trying to curb, but trying to tell a family of vigilantes who considered you the best mom in existence not to destroy your haters was like talking to a brick wall. Over the years, you had gotten used to it. It barely even registered anymore. But there had been a recent influx of the hate and while it didn’t bother you, it bothered the rest of your family. None of them could stand people talking bad about their mom.

While you hadn’t been there while the older ones were young, the second you had introduced yourself to them, you had taken a very important role in their lives. None of them realizing it at first. All of them had gotten used to the random women Bruce brought home that it took a little while for them to realize how important you were. 

Dick wasn’t sure at first. Thinking you were just another girlfriend that wouldn’t last long. So he didn’t really interact with you much. Ignoring your existence when it wasn’t too rude, or at least obviously rude. Until one night when he was staying at the manor and had a nightmare about his parents death. 

Bruce had an open bed policy. As long as there was still room for him, his bed was open. A policy he had started when Dick had gotten old enough he was worried he wouldn’t be allowed to go when he had a nightmare. Bruce had always reminded all his kids, that nightmares don’t go away just because you’re older and that needing comfort wasn’t something they would outgrow. 

The thing was, you were there. Girlfriends didn’t mind when children did it but they never liked it when his adult kids did it. The shaking in his hands and the way he saw them fall in the darkness of every blink told him the only way he was getting any sleep was with someone. 

Hopefully he could just slip into Bruce’s side and leave before you woke up. That was the plan until he found Damian on Bruce’s side and you had been pulled closer to Bruce taking up what was left. You moved a little and Dick took that as his sign to deal with it himself until he heard you whisper his name. He hummed so you knew it was him and not some random stranger standing over Bruce’s side of the bed. 

“Nightmare?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on.” You lifted the blanket next to you, “Bruce told me you guys come here when you have nightmares. There's plenty of room over here for you.” Dick hesitated for a second before giving in. He needed sleep anyway. You weren’t when you said there was plenty of room, Dick had most of your half of the bed. Once he had settled on his side, facing away from you, he felt you pull the blanket over his shoulders. 

“Night Dick, sleep well.” For some reason, that was what did it. Once the tears started they didn’t stop. Silent sobs made him shudder and he felt one of your hands gently rubbing his back. “Oh Dick.” There was no pity in your tone and he found himself rolling over and curling into you. Your chin resting on his head while you rubbed his back. 

The next day, he followed you around like a puppy. Your side of the bed became his favorite when he had nightmares and it wasn’t long before he turned to you for general comfort over anything.

Jason met you at his grave. Neither of you exchanged words, but he caught something in your gaze he didn’t quite understand. He also wasn’t sure why you were at his grave either, he didn’t know you when he was younger. 

When he saw the Gotham News post about Bruce and Your 2nd anniversary, it brought more questions than answers. Why were you at his grave alone? Let alone longer than a few seconds. It was an odd way to gain more of Bruce’s affections. 

Every Tuesday you would be there, leaving flowers and talking softly to the stone. Every time you left, you would smile and nod, the look in your eyes he couldn’t figure out was still there. Every time he would strain to heat what you were saying and only be able yo a few words here and there. 

6 months into it, the routine changed. You brought a blanket and Basket with your usual flowers. You did what you normally did with the flowers but instead of talking to the stone you waved him over. When he didn’t move, you stopped what you were doing and looked at him. 

“Jason Todd, I have been keeping your secret for 6 months. Helping me spread this blanket and having lunch won’t change it.” He stared at you while you waited expectantly. Eventually when he could get himself to move, he came over and helped. He sat down where you motioned for him too, all while trying to figure out how you knew.

“Bruce mentioned this used to be your favorite when you were younger so I asked Alfred to teach me how to make it. I hope it's up to your standards.” He looked at the plate of food you handed him. It was almost overflowing with food, all of which reminded him of the good times back at the manor before he died. “Alfred also sent your favorite cookies when he heard I would be eating at your grave.” The bag of cookies was placed next to the basket, within easy reach.

“Why?” Was all Jason managed to choke out around the lump in his throat.

“I decided early on in life, no matter who I was with, I would love their family as my own. My grandfather hated my grandmothers side and it caused a lot of pain in all the generations. I decided I would never do that to another family.” Jason found himself back in control enough to start eating. 

“So when I started dating Bruce and he told me about you, I decided to treat you like you were my own. Even though I had never met you and you were dead. Most of what that meant was keeping your grave clean and always making sure there were fresh flowers. While I did that, I would tell you everything that was going on.”

“How did you know it was me?”

“Your eyes, they may be a different color but they looked too similar. So I did a little digging and found pictures of your biological pictures to place the face shape it matched. I think however you look more like Bruce then either of them.”

“Are you going to tell them?”

“As much as I would love to. It’s your choice. You’ve been keeping this to yourself for a reason. If I can help you get to a place to tell them, I would love to. But I won’t say a word until you're ready. However, I would like to keep having lunch with you.” 

A year later, Jason reintroduced himself to the rest of the family a lot calmer than originally planned and was glued to your side anytime he felt overwhelmed that night. Every Tuesday after that, lunch was scheduled.

Tim was nervous when it came to you. He was still living in the manor so he saw you more than the older two. You always seemed nice and respected his privacy but Bruce was always with you so you obviously would. 

It was when he wasn’t around that worried Tim. Bruce attracted golddiggers and they were always mean when Bruce wasn’t there. When you were given a copy of the key, Time braced himself. 

Of course he knew that if he told Bruce anything that happened like that, Bruce would break it off. He had always told them that they came first. But he also knew that Bruce liked you a lot. All the other ones Bruce liked a lot that turned out to be horrible, he broked it off. Tim had seen how it had made him upset and he really hated doing that to him. Maybe he could deal with it for once. 

So when Bruce left for a business trip, Tim was Expecting the worst. What he didn’t expect was for you to knock on his door and ask if you could join him. When he agreed and stepped back so you could come in. He expected you to go to his bed or his desk chair not, the oversized bean bag on the floor.

“I have a question for you but you can’t tell Bruce yet.” Here it comes. “What would a funny way to tell him I know he’s Batman?” Tim wasn’t expecting that one. “I was thinking a lot of batpuns but his paranoia is too bad for that.”

“How did you figure it out?” You walked him through your process and didn’t say anything as he wrote parts of it down. Once you finished explaining the process for Bruce, you explained any way it was modified in figuring out their identities.

“Who do you think I am?”

“Red Robin.” Tim found himself getting excited. 

“You know those notes you leave him in his office?” You nodded. “You should leave those in the Batcave.” You considered it but your thinking was interrupted but Tim shouting. 

“No! One night when we’re all in the cave, you could bring some snacks!” 

“You just want snacks when he’s lecturing you don’t you?”

“Maybe..”

“Alright, but you have to tell the others so they can tell me what snack they want.”

So Tim slowly and carefully went through all his siblings, letting them know you figured it out, Bruce didn’t know, and what the plan is. Every time he relayed a snack to you he’d watch how carefully you’d write it out to make sure you had it correct or look up recipes if you couldn’t find it in stores. 

Two weeks later, Tim was the one who sent the signal in the middle of a lecture everyone was receiving and he got a front row seat to see Bruce’s face when you walked in and handed out snacks before giving him a kiss and telling him to be nice and leaving. 

Any other worries were left in the dust when you helped him win the nerf war for the best seat in the home theater. He thoroughly enjoyed his spot next to you while Bruce swore revenge from the other side of the room.

Damian treated you politely but that was it. His mother was still alive and he didn’t want another one, one was more than enough. Not only that, but you were weird. 

One time when you were over, you found one of his report cards. Immediately you were praising him. He didn’t understand why, he had basically failed one of his classes with an A-. You should be disappointed like his mother would be, not hanging it up on the fridge and telling people not to touch it. Definitely not taking him out for ice cream and calling him so smart. He definitely shouldn’t be feeling any pride when he walked past it, but he still was. 

When he was practicing his violin and Messed up, you were supposed to tell him to stop failing, that he should be better. Not smiling at him and telling him he’s making good progress. You should be telling him that he should have memorized that piece in a day. He shouldn’t be feeling any pride when he finally does memorize it, it took him 4 days to learn it.

When he was struggling to learn a language, you were supposed to tell him to work harder. He could do better, after all, he already knew so many. Instead you just smiled and recommended a break to refresh his mind. 

When he snapped at you in Arabic, he expected you to be upset since you didn’t know what he said and it was obviously not something nice. Instead you set the rule that if he was going to use Arabic to speak to you when upset, that he had to teach it to you and if what he said wasn’t something you had learned yet, he had to tell you in english. When he told you what it meant, you didn’t even get upset. He definitely shouldn’t be as excited as he was when you actually started learning. 

So many more little things piled up, leaving Damian confused. The differences between how you and his mother treated him was so big he didn’t know how to process it, he liked you and all the little things made him happy in a way he hadn’t really felt. But he still loved his mom, When he had enough of it, he asked you to stop. He still wanted to love his mom. Once again, you did something you weren’t supposed to.

“Oh Damian, I’m not trying to replace your mom nor am I trying to make you feel like you can’t love her or she doesn’t love you. Your mom and I show our love in different ways and its ok for you to love or like both of us. You mother loves you and she will always be allowed in your life if thats what you want.” You weren’t supposed to do that, but Damian was really glad you did.

Barbara wasn’t sure how you would react to her. She wasn’t just Bruce’s kid. She had a loving family she went back to every night. Most people weren’t really a fan of that, one of Bruce’s past girlfriends had some strong and hurtful things to say about it. 

When you took her for a day out, she found herself warming up to you but still waiting for the other shoe to drop. One of the new places you had planned to go, didn’t have wheelchair access. Like all the other girlfriends who had done this, she expected you to be annoyed that your plans had to change or you would just leave her outside while you shopped. 

You didn’t seem to notice her hesitation, just looking at what was next on your list and starting the trip there. When Barbara stared a little longer at a new movie that was in theaters, tickets and snacks were bought and you listed to all the lore she told you about before it started.

While it had been a nice day, Barbara wasn’t convinced. One day was easy to fake. Sure she had lots of fun, but Barbara was used to fakes when it came to Bruce’s girlfriends. Of course she wasn’t complaining about you being nice, she just wasn’t sure how long it would last. 

“Did you hear about that boutique?” She looked up from her food to look at her dad. “That new one that you tried to go to with Bruce’s girlfriend? Well there was a report that it didn’t meet the Americans with Disabilities act and the boutique is in trouble. People are speculating they’ll have to close down.”

Later that night, Barbara looked into it. They were in trouble, pretty big trouble from the looks of it. Towards the end of the article she found the name of the person who reported it, she wasn’t sure who she was expecting. Not you for sure but the Name Y/n L/n took her by surprise and filled her chest with feelings she couldn’t describe. 

The boutique ended up closing but a new one opened. Once it was open, you were the first to ask her to go. That weird feeling came back when she wheeled herself up the ramp and through the door you held open for her. Later that night, in the privacy of her room. She decided she liked you. 

Steph seemed like she liked you, she acted like she liked you, she didn’t really like you. Sure you were nice, Bruce loved you, the others were warming up to you, but she wasn’t sure how to feel about you. So she stuck with not actually liking you but pretending to. 

So when she was around you, it was all smiles and jokes. She wasn’t a big fan of it all but she did it because she knew you were important to Bruce and that was enough of a reason for her. She knew Bruce and the others could see through the act but as long as you couldn’t, that was enough. 

When Bruce announced he had to leave for a business trip right before she could hand him the parents visit for one of her AP classes, something the new teacher liked doing. She tucked the paper away. When Tim gave her a questioning look, she shook her head and later swore him to silence. 

Every time she heard someone mention their parents were going, she felt a pang of jealousy in her chest. Every time Tim mentioned bringing it up to you, she swore him into silence again. It wouldn’t be the first time no one showed up for her. She was however thankful you wouldn’t be at the manor as much so she didn’t have to pretend to like you.

When the day arrived, Steph was not having a good day. School dragged on slowly. Slower than normal. When school finally ended, she had to sit in the classroom and watch everyone else that was in her class leave and the parents of her classmates show up while no one was there or coming for her.

Someone sat in the seat next to her, she expected another family member of one of her classmates. Definitely not you. She couldn’t return your smile, too unsure of how you found out, the fact you actually showed up, and how she felt about you being there. You leaned a little closer so that the others in the room wouldn’t easily overhear. 

“I know I’m not your parent and someone you just pretend to like so if you want me to leave I will. But I figured someone was better then no one. Oh, and Tim wanted me to tell you he didn’t spill. Your teacher called the manor because no one had RSVPed for you and I answered it.”

That night, as Steph showed off all her hard work to you, the charade fell. She actually enjoyed her time with you and the boost of pride as you oohed and ahhed over all her projects and listened to her explain all the little details. That night, Steph realized, she didn’t need to keep pretending. She liked you, until she found out you didn’t like her favorite show but a nerf war solved that. 

Cass could tell you were different then the other girlfriends, your body language as you interacted with all of them showed it. However that didn’t mean she knew how to interact with you.

She had learned that she was fairly hard for new people to interact with. She also knew she had trouble interacting with people she wasn’t fighting. So it wasn’t a surprise when it started rocky. 

What was a surprise, was when you found out she was still having trouble reading and writing, you stepped in to help. Well, that wasn’t the surprising part, a lot of girlfriends did that. The surprising part was the amount of patience you had when it was only the two of you. 

When one method didn’t help, you tried another. Never once did you snap at her or call her a name. Everytime you got frustrated you would stop and look at her, say something along the lines of “If I had as much trouble with this as you do, I wouldn’t want to keep trying. You're doing absolutely amazing! I’ll keep looking for other ideas, but for now, lets take a break and get a treat.” 

Cass wasn’t sure why that always made her feel better, but it did. Every treat you brought was something you made just for the tutoring sessions and it always reminded her of what Alfred had told her once. “Something made with love for you will always taste better.”

And when a method that made it a little easier to learn was found, Cass found herself smiling along with your cheers. Bad days where she couldn’t seem to make any progress were always met with the same excitement, cheers, patience, and treats that all the others were. 

Cass still wasn’t sure of what to think of you exactly, but she knew she liked you and that you cared about her.

So when Tim saw the new rise in hate, a sibling meeting was called. They all went through each site, blood boiling as they saw what people were saying about their new parent. Plans were made, declarations of war were ready, and anger fueled all of them. Bruce could tell something was going on, but he wasn’t sure what it was and as long as it didn’t get out of had, he wasn’t sure if he had the energy to deal with it. 

War was declared in an interview by Steph. The lady was asking questions when the topic switched to Bruce, then you. The reporter was clearly trying to subtly find some dirt on you and Steph was not going to stand for it.

“Oh yeah! Y/n! She’s the best!” She put on her best press face. Trying to hide her anger over the hidden intent. She didn’t have to lie or act when talking about you but the change in the lady’s face going to disappointment when she didn’t get anything she wanted was making her look very punchable. 

“She’s always showing up for us and making sure we’re doing ok. If Y/n and Bruce were to break up, I think most of us would go with Y/n.” The way the lady kept trying to get anything really got on her nerves and Steph decided she needed to get out of there before she started using the lady’s face for target practice. You wouldn’t like that.

Cass was the first one to resort to violence. They had asked a thinly veiled question, basically asking if you were a golddigger. So she punched him in the nose and leaned down to flip the camera off. She hated interviews already but that made it so much worse. She hoped you wouldn’t be too upset with her punching the guy though.

Jason, surprisingly enough. Did not get violent… physically. He did however curse one out and threaten him when the reporter implied you were forcing them to say nice things. When the reporter kept pressing Jason broke his mic and told him if he ever heard him talking bad about you again, a broken mic would be the last of his worries. Jason knew you would be disappointed but he had held back, he didn’t shoot the guy like he wanted.

Tim threw his coffee at one reporter because he heard them say you were nothing but a regular person who didn’t deserve any attention. He then took over her segment, threatening the company to air it or he would make sure they went bankrupt. Once he finished his threats, anything he said was praising you name. Telling everyone how amazing you were and how much they all loved you.

Barbara made it a point to bring up everything you did for the community when they tried to throw some shade at you in an interview. She had documents to prove it and hacked their systems to add them into the interview so they couldn’t claim it was fake. She also made sure to run over his foot when she left. 

Dick punched a reporter when they tried to ask him what you were really like behind closed doors. He told them the truth, that you were just as good, kind, patient, and loving behind closed doors as you were out in public. He didn’t throw a punch until the reporter disregarded that as asked again because she couldn’t be that good. Dick knew a lecture would be coming once you saw, but he would rather sit through a lecture then let anyone tarnish your name.

Damian spent 10 minutes cursing and threatening a reporter in Arabic when they asked him if you had ever hurt him. When he was done, he told them in english, that if he ever got asked that question again, he would impale them. He knew you were going to make him sit down and translate everything and the general response you would give but he didn’t care, no one speaks bad about either of his mothers.

Bruce figured out what was going on after Steph’s interview. He saw the ones where they assaulted or threatened the reporters and made sure his lawyers were on standby to keep the kids out of trouble. After all, he had seen more than they had. 

He had watched as you tried to connect with Dick early on, how you worked hard to try and get somewhere. He had woken up before you when Dick had come in that night and heard how you handled it. He had woken up the next morning to find you holding Dick close, like you were trying to protect him from the nightmares. He had seen how you never turned Dick down when he wanted comfort, no matter how serious or silly the matter, and he had heard your excitement when you told him Dick liked you.

Bruce had seen the way you never missed a visit to Jason’s grave, on a visit of his own, he saw how much care you showed the stone marking it as his lost son. While he hadn’t been sure why it was alway the same time on Tuesday, he didn;t mention it. He felt the way you would sob in his arms after each visit, a year after the tradition started, you always said you had promised not to tell and he watched as you kept that promise even if it tore you to pieces. Once the shock and tears wore off for a little bit, he could see the trust that Jason had in you.

He heard the way you questioned if you should have a key to the manor, you didn’t want to make Tim uncomfortable in his own home, or how you questioned if you should visit while he was gone. Not wanting to stress Tim out when there was no reason too. He saw the way you and Tim grinned at each other when you brought snacks down for all the kids he was currently lecturing. He head the excitement in your voice as you told him about the tour Tim had given you of the Batcave and the shared laughter as you and Tim worked together to win the nerf war.

Bruce saw how you worked to give Damian the affection he didn’t think he needed. He felt you crying in his arms upset over the fact Damian thought you would be angry because he made a mistake or struggled in a class. He heard you practicing your Arabic as you got ready for bed and he watched as you stress paced over whether or not you said the right thing to him about his mother. 

He saw how angry you had been when you came back from your day out with Barbara. He had heard your call with your lawyer as you tried to figure out what to do. He saw you going through the laws and making a list to make sure your lawyer didn’t miss any. He heard about the movie you didn’t particularly care about and the lore you remembered in case of another because you wanted Barbara to have someone she could tell all of her favorite things too. 

Bruce saw the pictures you had taken from the school night. He heard all the details from you as you praised Steph’s work. He saw the way Steph stopped acting around you and the silly arguments the two of you would get into for fun. He heard the way you would listen to her as she verbally worked out her problems. He saw the way Steph looked for you in a crowd, the way she knew you were there but not where you stood exactly, the thought of you not being there never crossed her. 

He saw the way you stayed up late, researching different ways to teach reading and writing. He heard the patience and kindness and you worked with Cass. He saw the way you always made a treat just for Cass to have after each lesson because you wanted to reward her hard work. He heard the way you cried for Cass when she had a bad day and got frustrated with herself because you knew she was smart and you wanted her to see it too. He heard your celebrations when Cass made any progress, no matter the size. 

Bruce heard, saw, and felt the way you worked hard to have a relationship with his kids. How you had mourned for their losses, celebrated their wins, and felt their pain. He saw the way his kids blossomed under your care, growing to be better and more confident in themselves. The way you cared for them as if they were your own flesh and blood. So when he was asked about his kids behavior, he said as much. 

“Y/n has worked hard to be accepted by them. She’s given so much of her time, effort, patience, and love and never wanted anything in return. She always shows up for them, no matter what the occasion is, big or small, it doesn’t matter. If they want her there, she’ll be there. Everytime they need or want her, she’s there. She never judges them and treats them as if they were her own blood. Of course their upset and lashing out, people are insulting the woman who has cared for them more then most of their biological mothers.”

Later, a clip of you scolding Bruce and all the kids went viral. While you were scolding them over their behavior and making the kids who had reacted with violence or threats write apology letters because asking mean questions does not make it right to respond badly especially when its someone just trying to start drama. Everyone one noticed that there was no actual bite to your tone and no anger when they all refused to stop acting like that. In fact, there was a small soft smile on your face as you shook your head at your family.